OctoMayor

OctoMayor

Heidi Hatches Plan: A Younger Commish

Oh My Goth!

Mills ditches dorky for darkness

Starpole BREAKING WIND!

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William Orten Carlton = Sexy!

Oops... He Did It Again!

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Of Montreal’s Kevin Barnes Exposes His Sunlandic Twins

Six-Pack Your Way To An Awesome Six-Pack!

Learn Ort's Miracle Diet!

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Who

T I D E K C O R

Rocked It!

Best?

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The battle of

Classic City fashionistas

No Where Bar Frat Guy

Georgia Theatre Frat Guy

Barcode Frat Guy

You can’t throw back an icy Bud without the proper uniform: khaki pants, polo shirt and baseball hat.

Although Georgia Theatre guy has double the team spirit, No Where Bar wins bonus douche points with his neon cap.

Rocked It!

Rebekah Rogers

SJ Ursrey

Melissa Colbert

Rebekah looks like a goddess in this stunning psychedelic poncho.

SJ goes too hippie with her feather earrings, while Melissa’s small frame is simply buried in all that fabric.

Rocked It!

Lambda Alpha Mu Epsilon

Delta Upsilon Mu Beta

Mu Alpha Nu

These girls are ready to party, study or work out in this classic UGA ensemble.

L.A.M.E. rocks the look with her sexy sunglasses, but M.A.N. gets our vote with his matching leather bag.

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Starpole

April 1, 2009

Pub Notes Star Power!

Okay, so, like, maybe we overreacted when we heard that the giant, national chain newspaper up the street was coming out with not one but two new “products.” An entertainment rag and a fashion sheet. This is a competitive business, so what else are we going to do but compete?

But how do you go head-to-head with two well-financed new publications coming at you from the same place in the same week with cut-throat copy and cut-rate ads?

Like I say, maybe we overreacted, but what we did was combine the two approaches in one and re-brand Flagpole as a celebrity ‘zine about fun and style, now to be known as Starpole! Staple your eyes to these pages; there’s no need to look anywhere else to find out everything about everybody who is anything! Starpole is your chart to what’s cute and what’s cool!

You can just forget about all those long, boring articles on City Hall and stormwater drainage. Starpole knows that what you really want to see is what the hot people are doing with the cool people! That’s what you’ll find here in our new format! The oughts are over, y’all! Bring on the teens, and read about them even before they happen! Just grab a copy of Starpole every week and live on the cutting edge of glitz and glamor!

Know what the local celebs are doing even before they know themselves!

Starpole is the diary of your inner star! Starpole is all you need to know about all the people you want to know all about! That’s about all! Enjoy!

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Doc Eldridge

BIO-TERROR TAB

Friends say the Chamber of Commerce President has been drowning his sorrows in Tab since the bio-terror lab got away from Athens.

Pete McCommons editor@starpole.com

Kelly Girtz PLUCKED!

ACC Commissioner Kelly Girtz busted for raising illegal fowl: “You’ll have to pry this chicken from my cold, dead hands.”

Twin Tigers TRAPPED! NEUTERED! IN THE NEWS… In an attempt to control feral tiger populations in Athens, a highly controversial trap-neuter-release program has been initiated in a joint effort between the Humane Society and the RIAA. The Twin Tigers and the Spring Tigers were the first colonies to be targeted.

Feral tigers are a growing national concern in the music industry, with groups like Miniature Tigers (Phoenix), Republic Tigers (Kansas City) and countless others populating residential areas and endangering local bird populations. Many of these groups, including Twin Tigers (seen above, caged) were captured during their annual migration to Austin and then released back at home after being altered. While tiger rights advocates insist irresponsible indie-label ownership is to blame for the rise in feral tigers, PETA continues to insist that euthanasia is the only effective, humane route to tiger population control.

DJ Cut-A-Rug

Freak of the Week

Let’s hope the carpet doesn’t match THOSE curtains!

April 1, 2009

Starpole

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➡

Athens Stars Exposed

See if you can spot the Venice Is Sinking member who started sporting a wig when he was told that the quality of his drumming has receded as fast as his hairline.

Kurt Wood… and he did! To ensure he has the rarest finds, DJ Kurt has started to press his own limited runs of vinyl.

! ¡Ay, caramba! Ex-editor, freelancer, DJ, dance king Chris Hassiotis is just back from Argentina, where he made a fortune in Argentine pesos trafficking in Athens indie rock bootlegs.

“If nobod y I will,” D else is getting c J Mahoga razy in th at Little n Kings he y exclaims, and is bitch, then ad th they wer e attend s for the exit. Th e audience ing a wo odworkin ey thought g semina r.

Local poet Jeff Fallis announced his retirement from writing and his new aspirations as a rap artist.

A film crew has been following Jeff as he makes the transition.

INSTRUMENTAL FEUD SHOCKER! KAPOW! Friday Night 12:34 a.m.

Coley from Maserati is seen here venting about the rise of postrock instrumental band A. Armada to wife Misty. Sources say he is enraged, calling them “poseurs” who are “totally trying to steal our sound.”

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Starpole

April 1, 2009

Friday Night 2:34 a.m.

Party-goers at the Caledonia say a potentially intoxicated Misty approached Matt from A. Armada and told him to “back off” or “get a singer.”

Saturday Night 1:23 a.m.

The following night Matt approached Misty trying to defend his band, and was swiftly punched in the face. Seen here shortly after impact.

Skinny Townies !

D E L A E V E R H

The O’Looney Look for less!

The usually slinky Sanni hides behind her skin-tight pants, but we caught her letting it all hang out during spring break!

Always on the cutting edge, former mayor Gwen O’Looney was spotted wearing the trends of tomorrow. This spring is all about gold, gold, gold! Starpole will help you get the glittery look without breaking the bank.

Looks Like Timi, of Kite to the Moon, has been eating all those pancakes meant for his “baby!”

After spending time in Peru learning midwifery, Claire Campbell seems to have put on some sympathy weight!

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1. Pants: Dynamite, $18 The rule of thumb for this season is the tighter and brighter the better! This pair of leggings is adorned with elegant gold zipper detailing.

2. Sweater: Dynamite, $26 Sequins compliment the shimmer of the spandex perfectly.

3. Jewelry: Streets of New Orleans after Mardis Gras, FREE! Why hoard all your jewelry in a dusty drawer? Wear it all at once for maximum star power.

4. Shoes: Target, $12 There’s no need to clutter your look. Pair your sparkles with a set of basic black flats.

April 1, 2009

Starpole

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