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Was Oswald’s Mistress A Government Agent? p. 10

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Quiet Hooves All for One And One for All And All That p. 17

Food for People p. 9 · After Bissett’s p. 12 · Art at the Grit p. 13 · Kyshona Armstrong p. 18

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pub notes Perfect Storm The tornado-driven downpour that hit Athens just when working people should have been going to the polls on runoff day proved to be the tail end of a perfect storm that washed progressives out of the mayor’s office. The storm clouds gathered almost two years ago, when our popular, longtime tax commissioner began talking about running for mayor. At the same time, all the logical choices for the next progressive mayor began talking about not running. By the time Nancy Denson announced her candidacy, the wind was already blowing her way, though local weathermen never really knew it until that final deluge. Hers was a textbook campaign: a candidate who has been in politics for 30 years without ever doing anything to cause controversy. She showed up for work and to weddings and funerals and every meet-and-greet that could be worked into her schedule, routinely re-elected without opposition to an office outside the workings of local government. Her candidacy was the last step in the fulfillment of her dream: Mayor of Athens, the ultimate honor in a long career of smiling and showing up: her picture framed up there forever on the wall in City Hall with the big boys: Julius and Upshaw Lauren and them. Odds are they will andActually, Julius and Upshaw flap around like a and Lauren and them had been just as clueless as present proheadless chicken… gressives when Gwen O’Looney came out of the City Hall woodwork. She ran for the head of their newly unified government 20 years ago and caught them flatfooted, without a ready candidate. This time around, the best we local progressives could do was reach back to Gwen and hope that lightning would strike again. What hit us, instead, was an old-fashioned, issueless, personality-driven political campaign. Nancy flew under the radar, cloaked in the cover of non-partisanship. Local conservatives embraced her as the candidate closest to their dreams of Athens the way it used to be. How sweet it is that by helping Nancy they could at last floorboard it and run O’Looney and R.E.M. and Cobbham and all our ilk off the road. It did indeed take a perfect storm to blow Nancy onto the City Hall wall. What luck: two progressives to split the general election vote. One of them, Spencer Frye, was endorsed by the present mayor. Then, in the runoff, Spencer suddenly found that his own political future was of more importance to him than progressivism. At the same time, Mayor Heidi Davison decided that her personal dislike for Gwen O’Looney and that of some of her constituents was more important than all the other progressives who had twice worked to put her into office. To wrap it all up, the editorial board of our daily newspaper took a walk, declining to take a stand, tacitly endorsing either candidate, regardless of who might be better qualified. We will soon have a mayor whose main knowledge of the workings of local government is the cheat sheets prepared for her use in the campaign. No problem. She is accustomed to relying on professional staff to run things, and Athens has a good staff, though accustomed to running things their own way. Watch how quickly our new mayor defers to them. Where does that leave the Athens-Clarke County Commission? Odds are they will flap around like a headless chicken in a hail storm and fail to agree on any structure of leadership that can provide direction and get things done. We have a weak mayor system, but the commission is just as weak when it comes to any kind of leadership structure. The only possibility for avoiding four years of caretaker government totally run by the professional staff is for our commissioners to figure out some ad-hoc strategy for getting things done in spite of the mayor and the manager. Given the fact that any number of commissioners will be thinking of running for mayor next time, nobody is likely to want anybody else to emerge into commission leadership. But we do have a progressive commission, hard-won, election by election. Athens progressives have earned the right to expect the commissioners we elected, unlike the mayor-elect we didn’t elect, to put the needs of the city above personal ambition. If the commission can find a way to work effectively together, this ill wind may yet blow some good. Pete McCommons editor@flagpole.com

THIS WEEK’S ISSUE: News & Features Athens Rising . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 What’s Up in New Development

Why don’t we build and plan for the indefinite future?

Lee Harvey Oswald’s Last Lover? . . . . . . . . 10 The Warren Commission Missed Another Significant Connection What did Lee Harvey Oswald really do in New Orleans during those five months?

Arts & Events Grub Notes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 Life After Bissett’s

NONA is a worthy successor to Bissett’s, and A Tavola! is worth a visit.

Art Notes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 Collages, Prizes and Shoppin’

Look at the art while you eat at The Grit, and soothe your shopping blues in the Railroad Arts District.

COVER DESIGN by Kelly Ruberto featuring a quilt by Renee Allen on display at Lyndon House Arts Center

Music Kyshona Armstrong . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 Exploring Music as Therapy

Intimate and inspiring, this local songwriter’s music is food for the soul.

Introducing Roach Pedals . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 Custom Guitar Effects by Jason Roach

The Maximum Busy Muscle guitarist debuts his line of guitar pedals.

LETTERS. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 CITY DOPE. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 CITY PAGES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 CAPITOL IMPACT. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 ATHENS RISING . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 COMMENT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 JFK ASSASSINATION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 GRUB NOTES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 ART NOTES. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 MOVIE DOPE. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 MOVIE PICK. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15

THREATS & PROMISES. . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 QUIET HOOVES. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17 KYSHONA ARMSTRONG. . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 JASON ROACH. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 RECORD REVIEWS. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21 THE CALENDAR!. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 BULLETIN BOARD. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28 ART AROUND TOWN . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29 COMICS. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30 REALITY CHECK. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31 CLASSIFIEDS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32 HOLIDAY FOOD DANGER. . . . . . . . . . . . 34

This week at Flagpole.COM

 Ort takes a getaway-wish ramble as the weather gets    

colder and his mind turns to other climes…crimes… rhymes… limes. Put your group into the Flagpole Calendar with our handy-dandy submission form. You will submit! Homedrone is Flagpole’s online music update—okay, blog; whatever. Read the fuller version of Prof. Donald E. Wilkes, Jr.’s annual JFK story. Place your own classified advertising directly online.

EDITOR & PUBLISHER Pete McCommons ADVERTISING DIRECTOR & PUBLISHER Alicia Nickles PRODUCTION DIRECTOR Larry Tenner MANAGING EDITOR Christina Cotter ADVERTISING SALES Anita Aubrey, Melinda Edwards, Jessica Pritchard MUSIC EDITOR Michelle Gilzenrat CITY EDITOR Dave Marr CLASSIFIEDS, DISTRIBUTION & OFFICE MANAGER Nico Cashin AD DESIGNER Kelly Ruberto CARTOONISTS James Allen, Cameron Bogue, Ryan Hall, Missy Kulik, Jeremy Long, David Mack, Clint McElroy, Sarah Trigueros, Matthew Ziemer ADOPT ME Special Agent Cindy Jerrell CONTRIBUTORS Hillary Brown, Tom Crawford, Carrie Dagenhard, John Granofsky, Anna Ferguson Hall, Brian Hitselberger, John Huie, Jyl Inov, Gordon Lamb, Alexander McKelvey, John Nettles, Mark Sanders, Sarah Savage, Jennifer Turpin, Drew Wheeler, Donald E. Wilkes Jr., Kevan Williams, Marshall Yarbrough CIRCULATION Charles Greenleaf, Nash Hogan, Jesse Mangum, Matt Shirley WEB DESIGNER Kelly Ruberto ADVERTISING & EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Jenny Peck ADVERTISING INTERNS Jessica Hipp, Emily Fearnley MUSIC INTERNS Sydney Slotkin, Marshall Yarbrough NEWS INTERN Lauren Pruitt

VOLUME 24 ISSUE NUMBER 49

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letters FROM OUR READERS cram “New Urbanist” ideas into an already established city that is Athens, and that it is better suited for a place like Winterville that Well… the race for Mayor of Athens-Clarke is a blank slate.” County is over, and I didn’t win, but it has I think that this, too, is a dangerous comreminded me of how great a community we ment, because it leads to complacent and have and all that can be done to make it even defeatist talk, that the city is too “built-up” better. Flagpole is a great part of the reason for these new fangled principles to be easwe will get better and better. ily applied. My response is, you know, it is Your political coverage by Dave Marr cennot going to be easy, but it is necessary. tered upon asking the hard questions and putThis town needs to be looking to its future, ting before your readers the facts about events meaning that we need to set goals, establish and happenings. He dealt with the difficult principles that make up this city and figure and the mundane with care and integrity. out how this city will continue thriving for Never will I be able to express the feelings our children, our children’s children, etc. It I had at the support and editorials by Pete is enticing to have a nice, pretty, clean slateMcCommons. To have this man whom I have green field like the developer had over at the respected from my first days in Athens say Serenbe community 30 miles from Atlanta. that I was his choice But how sustainable was a great moment. and “green” is that? His wisdom and abilHow many people BUMPERSTICKER OF THE WEEK: ity to communicate can afford that? Is Sensitivity Has Crippled America and express are gifts it connected to the that are apprecicity by mass transit? (Sum old dude pulling outta mcdonalds in a ated far beyond our I would answer these beater cut me off—then I had 2 sit @ a stop borders. questions in saying light behind him and stare @ his bumper.) Both covers will that Serenbe has be framed and chersaved 1000 acres Thanks, Kathy! Send your sticker sightings to ished. Some may not from being developed letters@flagpole.com have appreciated in the normal Atlanta them, but I love the sprawl fashion with affection expressed low density homogeby both. Flagpole is a proud part of Athens. neous neighborhoods. However, it has not, in Thank you so much for being a true arbiter of my opinion, succeeded in making a “green” its proudest and most serious moments. community, because of the vehicle-miles travGwen O’Looney eled to and from Serenbe. Every single person Athens living there has to drive 30 miles to work in Atlanta, and then non-residents drive to Serenbe for their famous restaurants, which is brilliant, because restaurant visitors turn into home-buyers, but all of this driving adds to Recently, I had the privilege of hearing one the community’s carbon footprint. of Athens’ (unsuccessful) mayoral candidates Planning smart and sustainable communispeak during a lecture class. A couple of his ties and retrofitting existing communities is statements were concerning to me, and I find and will be a challenge—challenge that I am myself obligated to comment. The first stateasking every one of you to take; get involved! ment is as follows: “I think that the future of Attend planning commission meetings; find planning in Athens should be creating places out what is happening and how you can help. that people can have their home and work Meet with your mayor, meet with your comwithin walking distance. I live within walking missioner. Do not perpetuate unsustainable distance to my work, but I don’t… because I companies and projects by buying into them. can afford gasoline.” If you dislike how Wal-Mart looks the same in I think that this is a statement that many every town and how it affects other businesses people would say and not think twice about and you shop there, you are enabling them to anything being wrong with it, but in my opindo so. Don’t settle by thinking that your city ion, there is. Ever since the invention of the is already “built-up” or “my town is too far automobile, there has been a stigma attached gone.” There is hope… and it is you. to those that walk. The stigma being that Elizabeth Brighton they must be too poor to afford a car or to Athens afford public transportation. I think that this attitude is rapidly vanishing but obviously still persists. Being surrounded by like-minded people in our environmentally minded Athens, we Sounds appetizing, huh? I didn’t think so. forget that a large portion of Americans do Anyways, Mr. Ort is indeed on a roll with these not understand planning principles or have a rambles he’s been sending in, and I’m just sense of what we mean by a “good quality of writing (excuse the wrapping paper) to thank life.” In dealing with people in our everyday Flagpole for having the intestinal flu, I mean interactions, and with design clients (if you fortitude, to publish Ort’s ramblings. Keep it are in the design world, like myself) we should up Ort and Flagpole! see it as our duty to educate others about The man has been writing for your fine rag the benefits of walking and creating walkable since just about the day it started, and he has communities (among other things). That being only gotten better in spite of writing about said, please do so in a non-haughty manner; the same things over and over. Heck, that’s what Homer done, too, and he’s always a hit just because it seems common-sense to us down here in the country. Well, thanks for does not mean that it is for everyone, and we reading, and y’all come. should approach them humbly. J. Fluster Philpot The second statement that this man made Philomath was that he feels like “people are trying to

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city dope Athens News and Views The Denson Era Begins: So, the mayoral election is over and Nancy Denson won, and judging from a few dozen conversations over the past week or so, that’s a pretty tough pill to swallow for Athens progressives on both sides of the commission chamber’s rail. The stances Nancy took during her campaign didn’t indicate that she’s exactly on the same page with the current commission—a divergence that can’t be more starkly illustrated than by her repeated assertions that she disagreed with the commission’s recent unanimous vote to remove a proposed sewer line along Sandy Creek, where we get most of our drinking water, from the county’s utilities service plan. If that position is a sample of how Nancy intends to construct her agenda, she’ll find her perch a pretty lonely one, and her hard-won power little more than symbolic.

helping Nancy to govern Athens in the best way possible.

Which Brings Us Back to This: One of the first things the new mayor and commission will be asked to deal with in the coming term is the approval of plans for the expansion of the Classic Center, which currently call for the closing of the easternmost portion of Hancock Avenue. There seems to be some mounting community opposition to the closing, which hopefully will begin to make itself more apparent at the M&C’s regular session Dec. 7, the night this paper hits the streets. That would certainly make it easier for commissioners to slow down the process of approving the plans, which was still humming right along as of a pre-bid conference hosted by the Classic Center Authority last week for firms interested in responding to a request for proposals for the expansion’s design, which was not attended by any commissioners or Mayor Heidi Davison. It’s important to realize that there’s no shadowy conspiracy underway to hijack the development of a public project. Those representing the Classic Center are doing exactly what they should be expected to do: get the expansion done as quickly, cheaply and expediently—for them—as possible. Their job is to look after the Classic Center’s interests, and that’s what they’re doing. If the public decides that it has competing interests, such as the desire to prevent an unbroken wall from being completed on the edge of downtown that is most ripe for future development, then it will have to insert itself into the process by making its priorities clear to its elected representatives on the commission, as well as One more photo of an “Art Rocks!” bus shelter, just because it’s so cool: the mayor and mayor-elect, “The Murmur Trestle” by Hannah Goldberg, Lucy Marshall, Kim Hicks, who are the people with the Meghan Just and Kate Hardman was recently installed on Oak Street, final authority to direct that right around the corner from the genuine article. process. They are listening. How Safe Is Trail Creek?: The Georgia EPD announced last week that its testing of the water in Trail Creek, which was contaminated with formaldehyde and paradichlorobenzene after the J&J Chemical Co. fire in July, could no longer detect the toxic chemicals. As a result, the EPD says signs warning the public to stay out of the creek can be removed. But the EPD’s analysis of the creek bed, where it is to be presumed plenty of those chemicals settled during the months they were coursing through the creek, is not complete, which means that if a person (or, for the sake of argument, a pet) were to go splashing around in the once-electric-blue stream in Dudley Park, stirring up the muddy bottom and lapping up the water, there’s a possibility that that person (or whatever) could still be ingesting some pretty nasty stuff. The Dope and his dog will be staying ashore for the time being, signs or no signs, and you might be well advised to do so, as well.

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But that can’t really be what we’re in for, can it? This is Athens, not Washington, after all, and we have to hope that now, with this rancorous election finally behind us, the new mayor and commission will find ways to work together to keep this town moving forward. When the Dope asked Ed Robinson, the lone ACC commissioner to publicly back Nancy, how he could support a candidate for mayor whose stated priorities seemed to be in direct opposition to his own, he responded that “she won’t be an obstructionist” and that, in fact, her good standing in the local business community could provide ideal cover for progressive initiatives if commissioners make it clear to her what they want to do. Let’s hope Ed’s not just dreaming about that, but even if he is, we should still expect a meaningful level of cooperation and positive productivity between Nancy and the commission during the next four years. It’s time to wish her the best and, as her erstwhile opponent Gwen O’Looney exhorted her own supporters late on election night, get down to the business of

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DECEMBER 8, 2010 · FLAGPOLE.COM

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Recommendations by a citizens commission on the effectiveness of local government won’t be earth-shaking—or necessarily expensive to implement, either, says Jill Read, chair of the Athens-Clarke County Overview Commission. As required by the charter of ACC’s unified citycounty government, the 21-member commission has been meeting for the past year. “We really did our homework,” Read told Flagpole. She said the commission interviewed all 35 of ACC’s department heads, along with getting input from the public and from current and former county employees who came to public input sessions or contacted commission members. The group’s tentative recommendations run to 45 pages, and could be approved by the citizens commission this week, she said. A copy will then go to the ACC Mayor and Commission. Draft recommendations include making quicker turnarounds of criminal cases by reducing paperwork bottlenecks. “The person can languish in jail,” Read said, adding that people in jail are waiting for trial while paperwork awaits action by the state or by the sheriff’s office, but new criminal-justice computer software (approved by voters as a SPLOST project) should help get the police, the sheriff (who runs the jail) and the courts on the same page. “Almost all of these recommendations came from public comments and staff, as well as our findings,” Read said. Many of the recommendations are “just organizing or tweaking” and won’t cost the county money to implement, but one that would is to hire more police officers.

Another recommendation might restore a “cultural affairs” office or department similar to one that was abandoned at unification, Read said. That department actively encouraged artists (like writer Raymond Andrews and his brother, painter Benny Andrews) to relocate to Athens, and organized pro bono services for artists to help them with business or legal questions. Members of the Overview Commission were surprised at the large number of boards and authorities involved with county government: about 60, by one count. “We actually sent those people invitations” to offer input, Read said, and many did. The SPLOST citizens committee, for instance, thought future SPLOST committees should have a “road map” for approaching their duties. Comments included compliments as well as criticisms, and the commission’s report is not generally critical of ACC government, she said. “Overall, we think it’s magnificently run.” There have been two previous Overview Commissions: one in 1995 and one in 1999. (The 1991 unified government charter required an overview commission every five years, later changed to every 10.) The 1995 overview commission report expressed concerns that many citizens are uninvolved in government, and also that the large number of independent agencies, boards and elected “constitutional” officers complicates effective government action. The 1999 report noted “a gap between the community’s expectations resulting from unification and what has been accomplished to date.” It said citizens need to be better informed as the annual budget is created, and said SPLOST has been a positive resource. It also warned against the overuse of consultants or adding too many new staff positions. John Huie

capitol impact The Center of Power When legislators redraw political boundary lines next year to account for new census figures, they will complete a process that has taken half a century: the transfer of political control from rural Georgia to metro Atlanta. After the legislative redistricting in 2011, a majority of the seats in the General Assembly will be located within metropolitan Atlanta. For the first time ever, Atlanta will lead and rural Georgia will follow. Population shifts have been transforming the state’s political map since 1962, when federal judges ended Georgia’s county unit system of legislative representation. After that historic ruling, legislative districts had to reflect their population. You can gauge the effects of these population changes by looking at the fall line, that geographical boundary that stretches from Columbus through Macon and on to Augusta. Every 10 years, legislative districts from south of the fall line are shifted into north Georgia, because that region has continued to grow faster than south Georgia. In 2011, you should expect at least six House seats and two Senate seats from south of the fall line to be shifted to metro Atlanta. Just because a majority of the legislators will be representing a district in metro Atlanta does not mean that the region becomes a cohesive political force. There are conservative Republicans in suburban districts, just as there are liberal Democrats in urban districts. They will always disagree on important issues. Where they are most likely to make their influence felt is on the issue of water. This becomes a more urgent need for metro Atlanta because of Sonny Perdue’s failure to negotiate any kind of settlement with Alabama and Florida over the allocation of water from Lake Lanier. With a 2012 federal court deadline rapidly approaching that could mean the shutoff of access to Lake Lanier, metro Atlanta lawmakers will be compelled to vote together

on these initiatives: (1) Legislation allowing the transfer of water from basins outside metro Atlanta into the Atlanta region. These inter-basin transfers have been fought by rural Georgia over the years, but metro Atlanta will have the votes to override that opposition. (2) The allocation of budget funds to pay for the development of a string of reservoirs across North Georgia. It takes a lot of money to build a reservoir, and competition for budget funds is fierce because of the calamitous drop in state revenues caused by the economic downturn. But again, metro Atlanta will have the votes to spend the money on this if they can hold their coalition together. (3) Another issue where metro Atlanta’s political clout could have an influence is in the area of transportation. Throughout Georgia’s political history, transportation money has traditionally been spent to pave highways through the state’s rural areas. A politician’s success rested upon how many road projects he could deliver for his constituents. More recently, governors have contended that building new highways across rural Georgia would bring economic development to those areas of the state. With metro Atlanta in the driver’s seat, that will probably change. The money available for transportation will be spent mostly on highways and transit facilities in the Atlanta region. New highways through sparse rural areas will be a thing of the past. Obviously, there are many who will not be happy with those changes, but they are inevitable. As the population of north Georgia and metro Atlanta has continued to grow, so has its political influence. That’s why the state’s top political leaders—from the governor to the lieutenant governor to the House speaker to the attorney general—are all from locales north of the fall line. That’s where the people and the power are.

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jared bailey

Th a n k Y ou to the voters of District 5 for electing me your Commissioner. With your input I hope to make Athens an even better place to live, work & play. I also wish to thank my campaign committee, supporters and volunteers for believing in me and helping make my victory possible. I welcome citizen’s input on issues coming before the Commission in 2011. You can email me at Jared@Jared-ACC5.com Paid for by the Committee to Elect Jared Bailey, Lucy Minogue Rowland, treasurer

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athens rising What’s Up in New Development Over the River and through the Woods: The year and the decade are drawing to a close, and that’s always a good time to think back and look ahead. I’ve had the privilege of traveling across the country for the last few months and sharing those experiences as they relate to Athens. I’m heading east through the wilds of Texas as I write this, longing to see the Christmas lights over Clayton Street and be home for the holidays. Nostalgia aside, I’m optimistic about 2011, with a new SPLOST, a new mayor and commission, and nowhere to go but up. While the newly elected will no doubt plow into the immediate challenges, what do the decisions of the moment mean on down the road? This time last year, I wrote about how population growth over the next decade or two will change Athens as we understand it forever. It’s likely that over the next 20 years, the metro Athens will reach beyond a quarter million people, taxing our infrastructure, water and other resources. What I didn’t write about then was what happens after. While we are still on the steeper portion of that population growth curve, at some point things will level off. Rising quality of life, dwindling natural resources and increasing education among women all contribute to lower birth-rates and point to population stabilization in the next 50 to 100 years. We are a world of seven billion right now, and estimates for a population equilibrium range from nine upward to 15 or even 50 billion. Let’s hope, pray and, for the purposes of this column, assume that it’ll be in that nine-to-15-billion range.

outlive their usefulness, be easily salvaged or deconstructed. The under-construction downtown parking deck fails all of these criteria; the currently proposed Classic Center expansion does, as well. Finally, we must recognize our role in the natural world, and look for an equilibrium which allows room both for us and for native natural systems to continue sustainably in mutually reinforcing ways. Back to the River: Thinking especially about our river and the amount of public investment that will soon converge on it (I calculate around $45 million in unspent money, between SPLOST 2005 and SPLOST 2011, that affects the greenway, parks and adjacent public facilities such as The Classic Center), how are we setting this place up for the future? Will we build cheaply, place interpretive signs to commemorate what bad designs failed to, and move on? Or are there greater possibilities beyond meeting the current recreational needs? I think of the $1 million or so set aside for an amphitheater in Dudley Park, the downtown gateway to our Greenway. Sure, we’ll have some concerts there, but what are the greater and more intriguing possibilities? I think of the denominations which practice baptism by immersion, and wonder if in a future with a cleaner river, that amphitheater along the greenway

The Pioneer Spirit: The American narrative is that we are a nation of explorers and pioneers on the frontier. That attitude has carried on in subtle ways, and one that fascinates me is its effect on parks, open spaces and the civic landscape. From the furthest national parks to our local North Oconee Greenway, we follow interpretive trails past a series of educational placards, discovering the world in a manner that recalls the adventures of people like one-time Oglethorpe County resident Meriwether Lewis (exLewis and Clark). Our great parks, Many of Athens’ oldest public buildings, like the UGA Chapel, remain useful and attractive structures. Why be they local, state or national, follow a tradition begun by coun- shouldn’t we expect the things we’re building now to hold up similarly well? try estates and hunting lodges. Hernando de Soto first explored this part of the world might be timeless enough for some church to hold its sernearly 500 years back, and it’s been more than two centuries vices there. What about that Classic Center? Will it be a mere since Bartram waxed naturalist on the waters of the Oconee. convention hall, a generic piece of corporate architecture, or Even the horizontal approach to sunbelt suburban development something that can transition from today hosting trade shows as the American Dream is a modern take on Manifest Destiny, to 100 years from now becoming Athens’ great hall, as trea40 acres and a mule, and the historical notions of homesteadsured as the Morton or the UGA Chapel? This is Athens, and our ing. At some point, we must recognize that the exponential namesake’s ancient ruins still inspire. Are we doing our best to growth we’ve used as a development pattern is descended from we live up to that? that frontier mindset; at this point, though, it is unsustainable and outdated. We must look for new models. No Second Chances: When the economy rebounds, the private The good news is that we’ve still got some of that exponensector will pick up where it left off, and a new pulse of growth tial energy left to expend, and if we harness it with the long will begin. While the builders will walk away with cash in view in mind, we’ll do quite well as we move from growing and hand a year or two after projects are constructed, someone building to maintaining and sustaining. Will the built works we will inhabit and maintain those spaces for years and decades create in the next few years hold up over the coming decades beyond. Are we building tomorrow’s treasured historic and centuries? Perhaps we should be looking at ancient districts? European cities, in nations like Italy with stable populations, Likewise, we’ve publicly funded miles of new greenways and for the lessons on how to last. rails-to-trails, park improvements and other big projects. Once designed and built, will they stand the test of time? We must Permanence and Versatility: So, what does that mean here stop pretending that these are mere recreational amenities, and now, and how would that outlook change the city as we and recognize that what we are building now is the civic spine plan to build it now? First, we must recognize that we are in a of the community our great-grandchildren will inhabit. growth phase, and that there’s work to be done now if we’re to We must stop viewing our landscape through the lens of properly provide for future generations: this is not the time exploration and dominion, and instead act as though we might for austerity. Second, we must stop engineering our buildings be lingering here awhile. Let’s build like there are no second to last 50 or 100 years exactly, and take a longer and more chances. organic view. Our buildings should last, evolve to new purposes easily, require minimal maintenance, and when they do Kevan Williams athensrising@flagpole.com

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want non-exclusive spaces that address the larger issues facing our community, like food production and the elimination of hunger. A 2006 study cited by Partners for a Prosperous Athens reported a 28 percent poverty rate for Athens-Clarke County, which has only grown worse in the current economic downtown. In ACC, children are especially hit hard: 78 percent of students in public schools participate in free and reduced lunch programs. Local schools give away hundreds of bags of food On June 2, 2007, a small, dedicated group of people met for other spaces that may be similarly overlooked? The exhibit to students to help them through the weekend, so they are at the first Athens Food Activist Networking Session (AFANS). sparked conversations along these lines: What about my winensured a meal between Friday’s lunch and Monday’s breakfast. There had been whispers of a farmers market in years prior, dow sill or porch? What about the mall parking lot? Low-income households faced with the inflexible expenses of but through sharing ideas, a concrete plan was developed rent and utility bills must often compromise food quality, that resulted in almost 3,000 people showing up for the quantity and nutrition. grand opening of the Athens Farmers Market on May 17, Public spaces, parks and schools are resources that can 2008. That AFANS meeting demonstrated the power of our be more fully leveraged to alleviate hunger and end persiscommunity to transform our public spaces for creative, tent poverty in our community. We know public spaces can non-traditional uses, like community gardens and farmers be utilized to address community food issues. The creation markets. Momentum has only built since then, with many and success of the Athens Farmers Market in Bishop Park individuals and organizations having similar successes. continues to demonstrate that repurposing public space But the possibilities and the need for improved commucan be economically and culturally beneficial. Examples in nity food systems and equitable access to fresh, healthy other cities suggest that even more can be done to align food remains. the use of public space with community needs. We might look north for inspiration. The city of A reconvening of the Athens Food Activist Networking Toronto has launched an effort to turn public spaces into Sessions has been called to bring together those intercommunity gardens. This initiative aims to help socioested in food security, hunger and community developeconomically disadvantaged youth and other marginalized ment in an effort to to build consensus around these community members tap into the local food network. issues and identify specific, strategic courses of action. A well-integrated coalition of non-profit organizations This AFANS will take place on Dec. 12 from 2–4 p.m. at within Toronto coordinates with the municipal government the UGA Livestock Arena, 2600 S. Milledge, close to the to establish local food production, to promote a greater intersection of South Milledge Avenue and Whitehall Road. relationship with the farmers in the region, to provide city There will be opportunities to meet people who have dwellers and youth with education in growing and eating been working on various aspects of our community food healthy food, and to establish local community kitchens Two parking spaces on College Square were temporarily repurposed as a community system, as well as to break out in groups on community that meet multiple community needs. This community garden on International Parking Day last Sept. 17. gardening, community kitchens, farm-to-school, food approach to food security also prioritizes food reclamapolicy, community food security, and market opportunities tion, thereby drastically reducing food waste. The demonstration also playfully provoked Athenians to for local producers. Food will be provided by Food Not Bombs. Here in the Classic City, two downtown parking spaces were consider the priorities and potential of our town and its Everyone is invited and encouraged to bring friends. recently transformed into a community garden for a day as part public spaces. Members of the Athens Urban Food Collective of International Parking Day on Sept. 17, when parking spaces (AUFC) collecting reactions from passers-by found that many Athens Urban Food Collective across the globe were reclaimed as parks and public space. This Athenians envision open and friendly public spaces through demonstration challenged every passer-by to consider: if these For more information, visit Promoting Local Agriculture & Cultural initiatives like community gardening, eliminating traffic, and two parking spaces can be a garden, what are the possibilities repurposing College Square as a pedestrian mall. Athenians Experience (P.L.A.C.E.) at localplace.org.

Repurposing Public Space to Meet Local Food Needs Sarah McQuade

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DECEMBER 8, 2010 · FLAGPOLE.COM

Lee Harvey Oswald’s Last Lover? The Warren Commission Missed Another Significant Connection “It is reasonable to be suspicious of claims that challenge our understanding of history. But it is unreasonable to ignore evidence because it might change one’s mind or challenge the positions that one has taken in public. History shows us that new information is rarely welcome.” —Edward T. Haslam “Lee Harvey Oswald was an innocent man who was a government intelligence agent. He faithfully carried out assignments such as entering the USSR and pretending to be pro-Castro… Lee Harvey Oswald was a brave, good man, a patriot and a true American hero…” —Judyth Vary Baker “If Judyth Vary Baker is telling the truth, it will change the way we think about the Kennedy assassination.” —John McAdams

New Views of Oswald’s Visit to New Orleans Lyndon B. Johnson famously remarked that Lee Harvey Oswald “was quite a mysterious fellow.” One of the most enigmatic episodes in Oswald’s adventure-filled 24-year life was his 1963 sojourn in his birthplace, New Orleans, where he arrived by bus on Apr. 25 and from

which he departed by bus on Sept. 25, less than two months before the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. The Warren Commission, which investigated the assassination and concluded that Oswald, acting alone, was the assassin, found nothing of significance in Oswald’s 1963 stay in New Orleans. The picture painted by the 1964 Warren Report is of a lowly, lonely and disgruntled leftist and pro-Castroite who occasionally pretended to be an anti-Castro rightist. But the Commission’s investigation of Oswald’s five months in New Orleans in 1963 was, typically, inadequate. Six pages of the 1964 Warren Report focus on Oswald’s time in New Orleans in 1963, and in retrospect we can see that those pages amount to a bland, superficial account of Oswald’s activities down there. We now know that the Warren Commission’s depiction of Oswald’s activities in his home town in 1963 is one-dimensional and essentially misleading. Since 1964, evidence has steadily mounted that the Warren Commission overlooked and the Warren Report omitted a vast amount of relevant, sometimes eyepopping information concerning Oswald’s New Orleans stay. The first book to expose major flaws in the Warren Commission’s investigation of Oswald’s stay in New Orleans was Oswald in New Orleans: Case of Conspiracy with the CIA, by Harold Weisberg, published in 1967. Weisberg,

who wrote nine influential books on the JFK assassination, was one of the assassination’s premier scholars. The first scholarly article by an academic to persuasively challenge the Warren Commission’s version of Oswald’s sojourn in New Orleans was Michael L. Kurtz’s Lee Harvey Oswald in New Orleans: A Reappraisal, published in a Louisiana historical journal in 1980. Kurtz was a distinguished history professor at a Louisiana university and later authored several respected books on the Kennedy assassination. Based on their own research, both Weisberg and Kurtz exposed the shallowness of the Warren Commission’s investigation of Oswald’s 1963 visit to New Orleans. They noted, for example, that the Warren Report failed to mention the odd fact that while in New Orleans, Oswald, an ex-defector to the Soviet Union and supposedly a committed Marxist, was an associate, and was seen in the company, of David Ferrie, Guy Banister and other militants on the political right who had backgrounds in or connections to law enforcement agencies and intelligence organizations, or who were affiliated with anti-Castroite, anti-Communist, racist or extremist groups, or with organized crime. Both Weisberg and Kurtz concluded that while in New Orleans Oswald behaved as if he were an undercover intelligence agent. Kurtz wrote: “What the Warren Commission failed

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to disclose is that Oswald led a double life in New Orleans, outwardly posing as a proCastro Marxist, but secretly associated with such rabidly anti-Communist individuals as Guy Banister and David Ferrie.” And Weisberg wrote: “Everything Oswald did in New Orleans in 1963 is consistent only with the establishment of what in the spy trade is called a ‘cover.’” The U.S. House of Representatives Select Committee on Assassinations, which reinvestigated the JFK murder in 1977–78, published a staff report confirming the existence of evidence that Oswald consorted with Ferrie and Banister while in New Orleans. The information that has become available since 1964 has produced a consensus among students of the JFK assassination: there was a lot more to Oswald’s stay in New Orleans than the Warren Report reveals. This consensus is one more in a string of vindications of former New Orleans district attorney Jim Garrison, who (like Harold Weisberg and Michael Kurtz) maintained that while in New Orleans Oswald, working with Ferrie, Banister and others, had engaged in intelligence activities. Garrison also contended that there had been a New Orleans-based conspiracy to kill JFK, that Ferrie and Banister were among the conspirators, and that the conspirators duped Oswald, setting him up to be the fall guy in the event the assassination occurred.

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Judyth Vary Baker As a result of allegations made by Judyth Vary Baker, a woman who was born in Indiana in 1943, lived in New Orleans in 1963 and now lives incognito in Europe, the story of Oswald’s five months in New Orleans has, in the words of author Edward T. Haslam, “morphed into an 800-pound gorilla” that includes a “sizzling little romance between a beautiful young woman and a soon-to-be-accused assassin.” Because the CBS news show “60 Minutes,” concluding that her claims were not adequately corroborated, decided not to run a potentially dynamite episode on her, Judyth Vary Baker (hereinafter usually “JVB”) first came to the attention of the public in November 2003, when the History Channel broadcast Episode 8 of Nigel Turner’s nine-part documentary The Men Who Killed Kennedy. The documentary emphasizes discrepancies and inconsistencies in the Warren Commission’s Oswald-was-the-single-assassin theory. Entitled “The Love Affair,” Episode 8 recounted JVB’s story and included interviews with her. JVB appears to care so much about Lee Harvey Oswald that she is even willing to defend Oswald against claims that he was sexually inadequate, or that he lacked sexual experiences with various women before marrying. JVB describes herself as “the last lover of Lee Harvey Oswald.” Her story, reduced to its essence and omitting numerous interesting factual details, is that while living as a young woman (at first unmarried, then newly married) in New Orleans in 1963 she became a friend and then a lover of Oswald, who was also married; that she frequently traveled around New Orleans with Oswald and spent lots of time with him there; that the two of them ate together at restaurants and shacked up in hotel rooms, and that occasionally she went on double dates with Oswald; that through Oswald she met, among others, David Ferrie, Guy Banister and Jack Ruby; that in New Orleans she, together with Ferrie, Oswald, prominent local physicians and various other persons, clandestinely worked in secret laboratories on a hush-hush CIA plot to kill Fidel Castro by devising and then dosing him with an ultravirulent cancer virus; that this plot involved breeding horrific cancer viruses and carrying out lethal experiments on mice and later monkeys; that both she and Oswald had cover jobs, ostensibly working for Reilly Coffee Co. but in reality working with others on the secret CIA plan to assassinate Castro by means designed to make Castro’s death appear to be of natural causes; that Oswald was a loyal undercover agent for U.S. intelligence agencies; that Oswald sent anonymous warnings to the FBI in time to prevent the assassination, warnings which were unheeded; and that Oswald was framed for the JFK slaying, and murdered to prevent him from defending himself.

Dr. Mary’s Monkey and Me & Lee In 2007, JVB’s claims again came to public attention when Edward T. Haslam published his book, Dr. Mary’s Monkey. Haslam, whose father had been a prominent New Orleans physician, investigated the grisly unsolved 1964 murder of Dr. Mary Sherman in New Orleans, and discovered to his amazement that his “inquiry would connect some of the city’s most prominent citizens to ‘lone nut’ Lee Harvey Oswald, to the Mafia and to forces high inside the U.S. Government.” Dr. Sherman, one of the nation’s leading cancer researchers, was, according to both Edward Haslam and JVB, part of the top secret, CIA-based research project to develop dangerous cancer viruses to infect Castro.

In his 1967 Playboy interview, it should be noted, Jim Garrison named Dr. Sherman as one of the physicians who worked with Ferrie on cancer viruses and expressed the view that her association with Ferrie was probably not “completely unrelated” to her gruesome murder. Haslam interviewed JVB while working on his book, and several chapters and the appendix of Dr. Mary’s Monkey examine JVB’s story. A previous version of Haslam’s book, privately printed in 1995, and entitled Mary, Ferrie, and the Monkey, was written before Haslam ever heard of JVB. Haslam’s book draws three broad conclusions about JVB, all favorable to her. First, yes, there is a Judyth Vary Baker, and she is who she says she is, the woman who was born in 1943 and lived in New Orleans in 1963. Second, JVB did know Oswald in New Orleans in 1963, and she did work with Oswald as a fellow employee of Reilly Coffee Co. Third, JVB had been trained to handle cancer viruses before she went to New Orleans. JVB’s story again made the news in September 2010, when her Me & Lee: How I Came to Know, Love and Lose Lee Harvey Oswald, was published. This 600-page autobiographical book, a must-read, is plentifully interspersed with photographs of persons, places and documents. Although JVB’s claims may possibly involve hoax, fraud or mental derangement, or may be part of a disinformation campaign designed to confuse assassination researchers, on the whole Me & Lee is a believable book. Based on what we now know of long-concealed CIA crimes, conspiracies and depravities, JVB’s story has the ring of truth. To date, however, the story has not been proved to be either true or false. The fiercest critics of JVB’s story are the usual suspects—the Warren Report’s diehard true believers, the people who never learn. I agree, therefore, with the reviewer who writes: “Judyth Baker seems to be a credible character in this story.”

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Was Oswald Innocent? JVB acknowledges that she never saw Oswald again after he left New Orleans (although she says they stayed in contact by long-distance phone calls until two days before JFK was assassinated). Since she was not with Oswald during the two months just before the assassination, is she correct in insisting that Oswald was innocent and framed? At this point it is impossible to say. But Lee Harvey Oswald was and is entitled to a presumption of innocence. His rights were not respected. He received cuts to his head and eye injuries while being arrested. He never had a chance to defend himself or contest the evidence said to indicate his guilt. His plaintive cry to the public for help, “I do request someone to come forward to give me legal representation,” was ignored, and he never got a lawyer. He was murdered while a handcuffed prisoner in police custody and while in a police station in the presence of 70 officers. Unlike the assassins of Lincoln, Garfield and McKinley, Lee Harvey Oswald had no known motive to kill a president. Whereas assassins John Wilkes Booth, Charles Guiteau and Leon Czolgosz gloried in their murderous deeds, Oswald strongly denied assassinating anyone. Lee Harvey Oswald’s public statements denying guilt, made during the two days between his arrest and his murder by Jack Ruby, deserve to be remembered: “I emphatically deny these charges.” “I didn’t shoot anyone.” “I haven’t shot anybody.” “I didn’t kill anybody.” “I’m just a patsy.” Donald E. Wilkes, Jr.

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Life After Bissett’s A Nona Gain, Naturally: Despite all the local tears about Harry Bissett’s closing, there’s no question that the beloved business had slipped a bit in recent years, whether it was spread too thin with the additional locations on Mitchell Bridge Road and in Atlanta (both also closed now) or was a casualty of the economy, in which the already tough restaurant business was made far tougher. But could new folks get it going again? The answer, after months of mystery during which the old place kept promising to reopen, a lot of renovation and the usual sorts of delays in opening, appears to be yes. NONA (279 E. Broad St., 706-353-7065, www.neworleansnathens.com), which is co-owner Mike Thornton’s wife’s name as well as the acronym the website address spells out, opened in September, and aims to carry on the tradition of the previous tenant. The menu is similar, and some of the personnel (chef Justin Gregg, who cooked at Bissett’s for four years) are the same. The interior is a bit spiffed up but not dramatically different. Mostly, there seems to be a new professionalism at work, a cheerful but focused attitude on the part of everyone involved. The waitstaff, for example, is excellent. Glasses are refilled with alacrity but not so often it becomes annoying. The specials are promptly recited, with prices, and there’s no hint of upsell. On the other hand, I expect that some folks will think those prices are too high. NONA is a bit more of a special occasion restaurant, but you can get lunch there for around $10, which isn’t exactly Alain Ducasse. So, how is the food? It’s not culiThe waitstaff, narily ambitious, but that’s not the aim. Instead, it is mostly well executed for example, and, again, better than it had been at is excellent. Bissett’s of late. A ribeye on special, served with bleu cheese mashed potatoes, is tasty, beautifully cooked, sizable, well seasoned and so on. The potatoes could have been heavy and gross but were flavorful and, while not exactly diet food, certainly a step up from what passes for the side most places. An entree of corvina (a whitefish known, less glamorously, as croaker) topped with crab was nicely done, too. On the other hand, the veal Lafayette—breaded, fried, topped with a sauce that supposedly contained sherry cream, dill and crawfish tails and served with basmati rice—just kind of sat there on the plate being boring. One of the things I like the most about NONA is that, depending on what’s on special, you could potentially order both a croque monsieur or madame and a Monte Cristo, two delicious and famed sandwiches that are always hard to find in Athens. Both are variations of ham and cheese, but the former adds béchamel, a parmesan crust and, in the case of the madame, a fried egg, and the latter dunks the bread in French toast batter before pan-frying and comes with jelly (often grape, in this case strawberry). Cholesterol-fests to be sure, they also add some excitement to the basic sandwich, and while the Monte Cristo was on the soggy side, the croque madame held up well. NONA has a lot more on its menu than these items, including a lot of oysters, a burger topped with bleu cheese, a vegetable plate that can include maque choux and creamed spinach and a good array of both seafood and Cajun/Creole specialties. The restaurant does brunch on weekends, lunch every weekday and dinner every night. It has a full bar, as ever, and space available for private parties. Lunch: A Tavola! (237 Prince Ave., in the Bottleworks, 706549-7520, www.atavolarestaurant.com) is now open for lunch again, and I hope it succeeds. The lack of customers is not quite explicable. The prices are comparable to DePalma’s, the food is consistently good, the service is professional, the location is near hundreds of potential diners, and yet the room always seems empty. Let me encourage you, once again, to hit it up. The pizza napoli, for example, with capers and anchovies, may not endear you to your cubicle mates within breathing distance, but it’s worth being snubbed. The pasta is always cooked just right, with complex sauces that seem to have been simmered for hours, and the salads, made with organic lettuces, are bright and fresh. Lunch is weekdays at the moment, with a $9.99 special that includes soup, salad, drink and your choice of pizza, pasta, sandwich or pork Milanese, and there’s a coupon on the website that entitles you to 20 percent off your dinner bill Monday through Wednesday.

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art notes Collages, Prizes and Shoppin’ Everyday Miracles: Currently on view at The Grit is a sprawling show of over 100 collages by Garland Sutton, longtime Athens resident and avid newspaper reader. Beginning roughly a year ago, Sutton set himself the monumental task of creating a collage a day for an entire year, utilizing found images and text exclusively from The New York Times. The works are small, uniform in size and arranged in groups of two or three (occasionally solo) around the interior of the restaurant. Walking among them is a strange experience—for one, you’re gawking at art while people are trying to eat their tofu, but more importantly, you find yourself reliving the past year of your life, up against Sutton’s manipulated context of the news. His handsome collages ingeniously include a clipping of the date of their making, and, in a sense, give a form of personal context to any viewer.

primarily exhibited and known), but the last finalist, Hope Hilton, resides just outside Athens in Winterville, where for the past several months, she’s been quietly creating the stunning exhibition that’s currently making waves at the Hudgens Center. Hilton’s work is primarily informed by the history of the southern United States, and after receiving an MFA from Hunter College in New York, she relocated to Winterville, admirably taking note that the South, that Georgia, was where her investigations demanded she live. Her show at the Hudgens Center draws upon archival research conducted in local libraries and focuses on the medicinal properties of local plants that, historically, were employed by slaves to treat physical and emotional maladies. It’s a heady subject, especially when considering the recent debates and legislation surrounding universal health care in the United States, and one Hilton approaches with equal parts wisdom and tenderness. After delicately rendering each researched plant in watercolor, she Xeroxed her drawings and transferred them to a variety of papers, displayed salon style in a corner of the gallery. The images are ghostly and human, with just the right amount of remove; Hilton’s genius is her silent blending of the historical with the personal. Installation artist Gyun Hur ended up taking Garland Sutton’s collage, “They Only Scream Once,” is on exhibit in home the big money (hurray!), The Grit until Jan. 2. but in my opinion, her biggest competition of the evening Almost every piece extracts (as if by magic!) was our home girl Ms. Hilton. On view until a maxim of wisdom from the day’s headlines: February 19, 2011, and—I must say—highly Anyone can be happy or You are loosening the recommended. The handsomely installed show snapshots. Sutton’s real talent lies in his deft highlights some of the most exciting work in manipulation of these constructed texts and Georgia happening right now. Well worth the their paired imagery; in his hand, a packet drive. of matches is personified as a tortured choir, a sleeping child falls through sky, casually Train Hoppin’ Xmas Shoppin’: If you’re like noting the miraculous. On view until Jan. me, the prospect of buying presents for 2 and worth repeat visits, Sutton’s project everyone you know this season is daunting, was a year in the making, and the result is mind-numbing and just plain wrong. The good mesmerizing, consuming, complete. Highly people of the Railroad Arts District have recommended. done their best to soothe our collective pain, assembling a Holiday Market that may posHot Times in Duluth: Odds are, you’ve never sibly fill every gift need in one big handmade heard of the Hudgens Prize, or possibly, the sweep. Featuring works by Kenneth Kase, Hudgens Center for the Arts in Duluth, GA. Will Eskridge, Jamie Voivedich, Amanda The humble arts facility just outside Atlanta Jane Crouse and many, many more, the holiwas recently host to a cash award for an artist day market is open to the public from 3 p.m. living and working within the state of Georgia; to 9 p.m. this Friday, December 10. Located at a jaw-dropping $50,000, this is an event on Tracy Street up and down the warehouses, to be taken seriously. From a pool of over 350 with several booths inside ATHICA. Just applicants, five finalists were chosen to credown the way, Trace Gallery will open their ate exhibits from which the winner would be doors for their December Studio Pottery selected and announced at a gala event takInvitational, featuring the ceramic work of ing place earlier this month (kind of like the the Trace Gallery Collective and various studio Turner Prize at the Tate Britain, only not as artists. If anyone wants to buy me a Christmas much money, but with better food). present, I’ll take a couple of Ted Saupe cups, The finalists included Jiha Moon, whose please. On view until January 7, 2011. More virtuosic paintings blend Eastern mark-making information at www.tracegalleryathens.com. with Western motifs; Ruth Dusseault, whose documentary photographs investigate trends Correction: Last edition of Art Notes, I menin recreational battlefields; Scott Ingram, tioned the upcoming group photography exhia Renaissance man who combines sculpbition, Psycollagraphica, at Visionary Growth ture, installation, drawing and print to creGallery out near Danielsville. You should defiate bodies of work interrogating modernist nitely check it out, but I should amend that architecture; and Gyun Hur, a young Korean the opening is 2 p.m.–5 p.m. on Sunday, Dec. installation artist who enlists her family to 12 For more information, see www.visgrow. create intoxicating, ephemeral works from com. shredded funeral bouquets. These four artists hail from Atlanta (where their work is Brian Hitselberger arts@flagpole.com

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DECEMBER 8, 2010 · FLAGPOLE.COM

movie dope Some releases may not be showing locally this week. 49 UP (NR) 2005. In 1964, Michael Apted (The World Is Not Enough and the current Narnia epic) began documenting the lives of several seven-year-olds. Every seven years, he returned to update their stories. In the latest entry, 12 of the former sevenyear-olds agree to discuss their lives, families, work, even the series itself. Part of the ACC Library’s iFilms series. 127 HOURS (R) Academy Award winner Danny Boyle’s newest film is based on the true story of mountain climber Aron Ralston (the increasingly interesting James Franco), who resorts to doing anything to survive after he is trapped under a boulder. With Lizzy Caplan, Kate Mara, Amber Tamblyn and Treat Williams. AFTERSHOCK (NR) This Chinese domestic smash (it is China’s highest grossing locally made film) chronicles the 1976 earthquake in Tangshan that claimed 240,000 lives. Director Xiaogang Feng has won several international awards, including one from the Venice Film Festival, for his features. Aftershock is the first major commercial IMAX film shot outside the United States. The film is also the official Chinese admission for the Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film. ALL GOOD THINGS (R) Capturing the Friedmans director Andrew Jarecki turns to fiction features with this murder mystery based on New York’s most notorious unsolved cases. A detective (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) investigates a missing persons case involving the heir to a real estate dynasty (Ryan Gosling) and a young woman from the wrong side of the tracks (Kirsten Dunst). With Kristen Wiig, Frank Langella, Diane Venora and Philip Baker Hall. ALPHA AND OMEGA (PG) Two young wolves at opposite ends of their pack’s social order find themselves in a foreign land. They must rely on each other in order to find their way home. BLACK SWAN (R) In this new film from Darren Aronofsky, a veteran ballerina, Nina (Natalie Portman), vies with a promising new dancer, Lily (Mila Kunis), for the lead role in Swan Lake but instead begins a twisted friendship with her competitor. BURLESQUE (PG-13) Burlesque stars Cher as the proprietor of a struggling Sunset Strip burlesque club and

Christian Aguilera as the dancing diva with a voice strong enough to save it. I’ll never understand why the filmmakers would have assembled the cast they did and then underuse Stanley Tucci and Alan Cumming so criminally. CAIRO TIME (PG) 2009. Magazine editor Juliette (the criminally underrated Patricia Clarkson) is supposed to meet her husband, a U.N. official working in Gaza, for a getaway in Cairo. When the harried hubby cannot attend, he sends his friend and longtime security officer Tareq (Alexander Siddig). Against the romantic backdrop of Cairo, Juliette and Tareq fall in love. THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE VOYAGE OF THE DAWN TREADER (PG) C.S. Lewis’s Narnia moves from Disney to 20th Century Fox with this third installment. Lucy and Edmund Pevensie (Georgie Henley and Skandar Keynes) and their cousin, Eustace (Will Poulter), join. Directed by Michael Apter. CLIENT 9: THE RISE AND FALL OF ELIOT SPITZER (R) Academy Award winning documentarian Alex Gibney charts the rise and fall of former New York Governor and present CNN anchor Eliot Spitzer. Featuring interviews with the scandal-rocked former politico, Client 9’s poster claims to tell “the real story.” THE COMPANY MEN (R) Three men—Bobby Walker, Gene McClary and Phil Woodward (Oscar winners Ben Affleck, Chris Cooper and Tommy Lee Jones)—deal with losing their jobs in the present recession and the effects on their wives, lives and communities. CONVICTION (R) Single mother Betty Anne Waters (Hilary Swank) puts herself through law school in order to get her brother’s (Sam Rockwell) wrongful conviction for murder overturned. (Juliette Lewis, Minnie Driver, and Melissa Leo are in there, too.) Directed by Tony Goldwyn. DUE DATE (R) Todd Phillips directs this comedy about a soon-to-be father, Peter Highman (Robert Downey, Jr.), who hitches a ride with aspiring actor, Ethan Tremblay (Zack Galifinakias), if he wants to make it to his child’s birth on time. With Michelle Monaghan, Juliette Lewis, Danny McBride, Jamie Foxx, RZA and Alan Arkin. EASY A (PG-13) A fun concept treated respectfully and with genuine humor

M OVIE L ISTI N GS Schedules often change after our deadline. Please call ahead.

ACC LIBRARY (706-613-3650) 49 UP (NR) 7:00 (Th. 12/9)

CINÉ (706-353-3343)

Cairo Time (PG) 5:00, 7:15 (starts F. 12/10) Conviction (R) 8:15 (starts F. 12/10) (add’l times Sa. 12/11 & Su. 12/12: 3:00) The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet’s Nest (R) 5:15, 8:15 (new times F. 12/10: 5:15) Monsters (R) 9:15 (starts F. 12/10) (add’l times Sa. 12/11 & Su. 12/12: 3:15) (no 9:15 show Su. 12/12) Never Let Me Go (R) 9:30 (ends Th. 12/9) The Room (R) Midnight (F. 12/10) Waiting For Superman (PG) 5:00, 7:15 (ends Th. 12/9)

Accurate movie times for the Carmike 12 (706-354-0016), Beechwood Stadium 11 (706-546-1011) and Georgia Square 5 (706-548-3426) cinemas are not available by press time. Visit www.flagpole.com for updated times.

FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 8, 2010

in a tightly written script good enough to attract a talented cast that includes Emma Stone, Stanley Tucci, Patricia Clarkson, Thomas Haden Church, Lisa Kudrow and Malcolm McDowell. Clean cut, straight-A student Olive Pendergrast (Stone of Superbad fame) becomes infamously slutty after an untrue rumor that she slept with a college guy spreads across the school. FAIR GAME (PG-13) Doug Liman (The Bourne Identity) directs this drama based on the government’s outing of CIA Operative Valerie Plame. Naomi Watts stars as Plame, whose identity was leaked while investigating WMDs in Iraq after her husband, Joseph Wilson (Sean Penn), wrote a 2003 New York Times op-ed piece critical of the Bush administration. FASTER (R) The Rock shelves the family-friendly brand he’s been marketing the past few years for a motorized, violent, revenge thriller that seems custom-built for Vin Diesel. Dwayne Johnson’s Driver has just been released from prison. Now he is on a monolithic mission to slaughter the men responsible for the death of his bank robbing brother. THE FIGHTER (R) Mark Wahlberg stars as boxer “Irish” Micky Ward, whose brother, Dick Eklund (Christian Bale), helped him train before going pro in the 1980s. With Amy Adams and Melissa Leo. FOR COLORED GIRLS (R) He’s baa-ack. Tyler Perry returns, and he’s brought his Why Did I Get Married star Janet Jackson with him. The lives of several black women intersect at a 12-step program. With Anika Noni Rose, Whoopi Goldberg, Thandie Newton, Loretta Devine, Kimberly Elise, Phylicia Rashad and Macy Gray. THE GIRL WHO KICKED THE HORNET’S NEST (R) See Movie Pick. HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART 1 (PG13) Director David Yates continues to bring Rowling’s magical world to rousing, tangible life. I LOVE YOU PHILLIP MORRIS (R) Scam artist and former police officer Steven Russell (Jim Carrey) plots the big con to escape his second stint in prison and win the heart and freedom of Phillip Morris (Ewan McGregor). With Leslie Mann and Rodrigo Santoro (Raul Castro in both parts of Steven Soderbergh’s epic Che). THE KING’S SPEECH (R) To combat a nervous stammer, King George VI (Colin Firth), AKA Bertie, works with an unorthodox speech therapist, Lionel Logue (Oscar winner Geoffrey Rush). Director Tom Hooper helmed HBO’s excellent “John Adams” and Elizabeth I. With Helena Bonham Carter as George’s daughter Queen Elizabeth II, Guy Pearce as Edward VIII, Michael Gambon as King George V and Timothy Spall as Winston Churchill. LEGEND OF THE GUARDIANS: THE OWLS OF GA’HOOLE (PG) 300 director Zack Snyder was made for animation, and Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole proves it. Unfortunately, the film, based on the first three books in Kathryn Lasky’s bestselling children’s series (I made it through one and almost a half of the short books), feels rushed and poorly explained. LOVE AND OTHER DRUGS (R) Director Edward Zwick makes a romantic comedy starring Jake Gyllenhaal

and Anne Hathaway. Jamie Reidy (Gyllenhaal) is a charming Viagra salesman wooing the free-spirited Maggie Murdock (Hathaway). With Judy Greer, Hank Azaria, Oliver Platt, Gabriel Macht and George Segal. MADE IN DAGENHAM (R) Sounds like another satisfying Britcom. In 1968, the female workers at the Ford Dagenham car plant went on strike to protest sexual discrimination. The swell cast includes Sally Hawkins and Bob Hoskins. MEGAMIND (PG) The year’s second supervillain-as-good-guy animated feature is a much more traditional superhero movie than summer’s pleasantly surprising Despicable Me. A blatant riff on the Superman mythology, Megamind begins with the destruction of the home planet of the blue baby soon to be known as Megamind (v. Will Ferrell). MONSTERS (R) Monsters envisions a world in which Mexico has become an alien quarantine zone. One man, U.S. journalist Andrew Kaulder (Scoot McNairy, In Search of a Midnight Kiss), must help tourist Samantha Wynden (Whitney Able, All the Boys Love Mandy Lane) find the safety offered by the U.S. border. Gareth Edwards wrote, directed and shot this buzz-inducing genre flick. MORNING GLORY (PG-13) Smalltime producer Becky Fuller (Rachel McAdams) gets her shot at the big-time when IBS’s fourth-place “Daybreak” comes to call. Firing her depraved cohost (“Modern Family”’s gone-toosoon Ty Burrell), Becky hires news icon Mike Pomeroy (Harrison Ford) to join the morning vet Colleen Peck (a so underused Diane Keaton that they should have cast my grandmother) and jumpstart the ratings. NEVER LET ME GO (R) In a different version of 1970s Britain, Kathy H. (Carey Mulligan, turning heads yet again), Tommy D. (Andrew Garfield) and Ruth (Keira Knightley) attend an idyllic boarding school. Unbeknownst to these three children, they are part of a national program that has a hidden agenda. THE NEXT THREE DAYS (PG-13) A schoolteacher husband and father, John Brennan (Russell Crowe), plots a prison break for his wife, Lara (Elizabeth Banks), an innocent imprisoned for murder, after consulting a criminal expert in prison breaks (Liam Neeson). NIGHT CATCHES US (R) In 1976, Marcus (Anthony Mackie) returns to the Philly neighborhood he once called home. Though some old friends, Patricia (Kerry Washington), greet Marcus warmly, others suspect him of being before behind the slaying of a compatriot in the Black Power Movement. RARE EXPORTS: A CHRISTMAS TALE (NR) Bless my horror heart, this flick sounds awesome. Santa Claus is unearthed at an archaeological dig in Lapland’s Korvatunturi Mountains. But judging by the disappearing children, this jolly old Nicholas is no saint. Could be Christmas 2010’s hot gift for horror lovers. RESIDENT EVIL: AFTERLIFE (R) Calling Paul W.S. Anderson’s directorial return to this zombie videogameturned-movie franchise Resident Evil 4 would be an insult to arguably the best game in the mother series. Alice (Milla

Jovovich, sporting what appears to be Mom-hair in some scenes) is still trying to take down the shadowy Umbrella Corporation led by the sunglassed baddie, Albert Wesker (Shawn Roberts, who has nothing on any of Wesker’s voice actors). THE ROOM (R) 2003. I’ve wanted to see writer-director-star Tommy Wiseau’s personal cinematic atom bomb since reading an article in Entertainment Weekly about the prominent billboard for the would-be auteur’s debut, an awful picture beloved by two of my favorite ensembles, “The State” and “Arrested Development.” Wiseau’s film is supposedly THE new cult phenomenon. TANGLED (PG) Disney’s 50th animated feature entertains like some of the best the House of Mouse has ever offered. Can you imagine how magical this fairy tale could have been had it been traditionally animated and simply titled Rapunzel? The long-haired princess (v. Mandy Moore) is imprisoned in a tower by a witch posing as her mother. One day, a roguish thief named Flynn Ryder (v. Zachary Levi > Chris Evans > Nolan North > Nathan Fillion) stumbles into her tower and is convinced to escort her about the scary kingdom her mother has warned her about for 18 years. None of the songs may be destined for Disney classic status, but the warm family humor and romance will please anyone longing for a new Disney dream to come true. THE TEMPEST (PG-13) Julie Taymor, more acclaimed for Broadway’s The Lion King than any of her film work (Across the Universe) adapts more Shakespeare (she previously filmed a version of Titus). Prospero is now a female alchemist named Prospera (Helen Mirren). Banished to an island for witchcraft, she raises her daughter, Miranda (Felicity Jones), and struggles for power with Caliban (Djimon Hounsou). If all else fails, The Tempest should be another dominating visual effort from the always interesting mind of Taymor. THE TOURIST (PG-13) An American tourist, Frank Taylor (Johnny Depp), visiting Italy after a bad breakup, is embroiled in international espionage after getting caught in the web of beautiful spy Elise (Angelina Jolie). The Hollywood debut of Oscar winning The Lives of Others director Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck, a remake of Anthony Zimmer, looks very Hitchcockian and boasts two Oscar winning screenwriters (The Usual Suspects’s Christopher McQuarrie and Gosford Park’s Julian Fellowes). Still, something about the trailer didn’t sit well. With Paul Bettany, Rufus Sewell, and Timothy Dalton. THE TOWN (R) Ben Affleck’s second directorial effort (this one based off a tough Bostonian novel by Chuck Hogan rather than Dennis Lehane) is a very good film. In the bank robber Mecca, Charlestown, Doug MacRay (Affleck, who has certainly gotten his pump on) wants out. But his vicious blood brother James Coughlin (Jeremy Renner, showing The Hurt Locker was no fluke), crime boss Fergie “The Florist” Colm (Pete Postlethwaite) and the F.B.I, represented by Special Agent Adam Frawley (Jon Hamm of the excellently depressing “Mad Men”), won’t let him. Dougie also has fallen for Claire Keesey (Rebecca Hall), the

only witness the F.B.I. has that could tie his gang to their latest score. This tough cops-and-robbers flick conjures comparisons to Heat, a good, if overrated Michael Mann film that The Town soundly trumps. Terrific performances (though Hamm is a bit stiff and too chivalrous for a G-douche) and tremendous direction from Affleck (he obviously paid attention during the filming of Reindeer Games with the legendary John Frankenheimer) highlight the best film Hollywood has offered to mature adults in months. TOY STORY 3 (G) Toy Story 3 lacks the emotional heft (though parents of youngsters best bring the tissues) of recent Pixar masterpieces, but is every bit the satisfying curtain call for Andy’s toys. UNSTOPPABLE (PG-13) It was about time Tony Scott got back to the terse, gruff action he specialized in before 1995 when he lost his mind to overdirection. He was not helped when the world of digital filmmaking opened up before him like Avatar’s Pandora. The fleet, hour and a half, bullet train that is Unstoppable gets audiences to its destination by the most scenic, suspenseful route. Loosely based on the true story, Unstoppable stars Denzel Washington and Star Trek’s Chris Pine as the only two men who can stop a runaway train terrorizing the Pennsylvania countryside. Rosario Dawson is the sexy dispatcher guiding the two heroes. Sure, the genre clichés abound (Pine’s sexily scruffy conductor has marital issues; Washington’s old hand has professional problems), but they cannot derail Tony’s train once it gets going. All aboard this perfectly crafted dramatic thriller. WAITING FOR SUPERMAN (PG) Filmmaker Davis Guggenheim follows a handful of promising kids through an education system that inhibits, rather than encourages, academic growth. Guggenheim’s exhaustive review of the public education system explores “drop-out factories,” “academic sinkholes” and reminds the viewer that education statistics have names. THE WARRIOR’S WAY (R) This Samurai Western mashup bests all comers for the year’s best cult genre movie. In Jang Dong-Gun’s English language coming out party, the South Korean superstar revives the hero of the spaghetti Western as a taciturn Eastwood with no name (named Yang), an assassin in hiding after refusing to complete his last mission. This wandering warrior happens upon a tiny town, a mere backlot in the mythical American badlands, populated by circus freaks (including Kate Bosworth’s knife thrower and Tony Cox’s tiny ringmaster) and a town drunk (Geoffrey Rush). Naturally, a vengeful masked Colonel (an appropriately disgusting Danny Huston) returns to tear the town apart. To make matters worse, Yang’s former assassin-mates are on the way, too. Thanks to writer-director Sngmoo Lee’s whimsical Wild West that is part Jean-Pierre Jeunet, part steampunk, part Fallout, with a carnival-meetsMorricone score, Warrior’s Way is as smart and sharp as his hero’s sword. YOU AGAIN (PG) Marni (Kristen Bell) realizes her brother is about to marry the bully (Odette Yustman, The Unborn) that tormented her throughout high school. Now it is her job to expose her enemy’s true colors before they become family. You have to love Bell’s support: Sigourney Weaver, Jamie Lee Curtis, Kristen Chenoweth and eternally funny golden girls, Cloris Leachman and Betty White. Could Bell finally have found her star-making hit? From competent but unspectacular director Andy Fickman (She’s the Man, The Game Plan and Race to Witch Mountain). Drew Wheeler

movie pick

Skate Shop O F AT H E N S

The End of the Millennium THE GIRL WHO KICKED THE HORNET’S NEST (R) Steig Larsson’s Millennium Trilogy concludes its Swedish language big-screen incarnation (the English language version is on its way in 2011) with a tight wrapping up of the many, many threads left loose in the middle entry, The Girl Who Played with Fire. The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest (or Luftslottet som sprängdes, literally translated into the much cooler The Air Castle that Was Blown Up)

picks up immediately where the second film left off. So, if you have yet to see or read The Girl Who Played with Fire, don’t read the rest of this review, much less see the movie. Hornet’s Nest opens with Lisbeth Salander (Noomi Rapace, whose Oscar buzz grows near deafening) hospitalized after surgery to remove the bullet her father, Alexander Zalachenko, left in her brain. The rest of the two-and-a-half-hour film unfolds as a series

of fast-paced conversations where the tension is ratcheted up by Jacob Groth’s wonderful score. Lisbeth is put on trial. Mikael Blomkvist (Michael Nyqvist) and his pals at Millennium struggle to put the pieces of Lisbeth’s puzzling story together so they can publish it in time for her trial. Mikael’s lawyer sister, Annika Giannini (Annika Hollin), works tirelessly to get Lisbeth acquitted. A bunch of old Swedes seek to have Lisbeth locked away in a psychiatric hospital. As with the books, each film has grown progressively better and more compelling. New writer Ulf Ryberg has scripted the best adaptation yet. He streamlines all the significant plotlines and jettisons complicating subplots that, while fine on the page, would have suffered on screen. Book fans, that means no Erika at the SMP, though the threats on her life remain. The only works of pop lit that have been as well translated to the cinematic language are Harry Potters 3-7.1. The Millennium Trilogy works best when read or seen as a whole, making this concluding chapter the best by virtue of its being the most satisfying. Big thanks to Ciné for giving Athens the opportunity to enjoy this entire three-film set on the big screen! Drew Wheeler

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DECEMBER 8, 2010 · FLAGPOLE.COM

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threats & promises Music News And Gossip Again, for the Last Time: WUOG 90.5 FM DJ Jon Crandall is pulling a move from the Mercer West playbook this month as he organizes 60 bands to perform live in the station’s lobby over the course of 20 nights. Running from Dec. 9–Jan. 9 (5–10 p.m. on Monday– Friday and 4–9 p.m. on Saturday and Sunday) and billed as “Lobbyfestytownietakeover,” the Dec. 9 show will feature local rockers Manray and Lazer/Wulf. Crandall says, “The concept has been to book one band and let them book their friends’ bands for the other slots. They can play any kind of set they want (weird and eccentric or boring as crap), be interviewed, play their favorite records, etc.” Other bands scheduled to participate include Tunabunny, Green Gerry, American Cheeseburger, The Goons, Flash to Bang Time, M. Coast and Dead Dog, with more being added as you read this. If you’d like to participate, please email Crandall via jacjcjac@gmail.com. In other news, I reported last week that the station will host a 24-hour live “jam” from 1 p.m. on Dec. 15 to 1 p.m. Dec. 16, and that’s still happening. Anyone can go to the station and play music during this event. Hosts William Kennedy (Reptar) and Wyatt Pless (Bigfoot) will provide all the instruments, amps, etc. All you need do is show up. Nightclub Jitters: Hendershot’s Coffee Bar has a full slate Dodd Ferrelle of shows for this month, and that’s nice because December is, generally speaking, an awful month for shows in Athens. The coffee shop, located at 1560 Oglethorpe Ave. (next door to Transmetropolitan), seems pretty committed to its live music, so it’d be cool if y’all returned the favor and showed up. Shows this month include Don Chambers (Dec. 8), Mary Sigalas (Dec. 9), Justin Evans (Dec. 10), The Nice Machine (Dec. 11), open mic nights (Dec. 13 & 20), Carl Lindberg (Dec. 15), Dave D’Angelo Quartet (Dec. 16), Heather Lutrell (Dec. 17) and on Dec. 14 & 21 the Rose of Athens Theatre company presents No Shame. This is a cool bit of participatory theater open to everyone, as long as you follow a couple of simple rules. For info on how to participate in No Shame, please search for “No Shame Athens” on www.facebook.com. For information on Hendershot’s in general, you can call (706) 353-3050. All shows begin at 8 p.m. and are free and open to all ages. Run from the Gun: Dead Confederate had to cancel a string of shows with Seattle group Minus the Bear last week because profits from its last tour were stolen at gunpoint. Dead Confederate’s tour manager (whom I’m choosing to not name here out of respect for his privacy) was walking into an Atlanta-area branch of Wells Fargo Bank carrying the band’s cash from its most recent shows when the robbery occurred. While he escaped without

FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 8, 2010

physical injury, it’d be an understatement to say that he’s shaken by the incident, and we wish him and the band well. For all of you out there, please be careful and stay aware of your surroundings. For more information on the band’s plans, please see www.facebook. com/deadconfederate. Help Fill ‘Em Up: Dodd Ferrelle has organized the second annual “Strung Out Like the Lights at Christmastime Empty Stocking Fund Raiser,” and it’ll happen at the Office Lounge (2455 Jefferson Rd. inside the Homewood Hills Shopping Center) on Friday, Dec. 17. The show starts at 7 p.m. and will feature members of Bloodkin and Widespread Panic performing as Romper Stompers plus Clay Leverett, Workhorses of the Entertainment/Recreation Industry, David Barbe (playing with Frank MacDonnell, Todd Nance, John Neff and Jon Mills), Betsy Franck, Curley Maple and Ferrelle himself. The show will run you a mere $5. For more information, please see www.doddferrelle. com.

Dinner and a Show: Since we’ve already mentioned guns once in this issue, I may as well go ahead and tell you the The Rattlers will release a full-length CD titled after the group’s best-known song. Welcome Back to Georgia (whose title track includes the line: “If you think I’m leaving/ If you think you can make me run/ You and your friends are welcome to try/ here in Georgia we carry guns”) will land in the hands of fans on Saturday, Dec. 11 at the Melting Point. The Rick Fowler Band will open the show. Well, shiver me timbers. For more awesome jams and insight, please see www. therattlersband.com. What’cha Doin’?: Tickets are on sale now for of Montreal’s New Year’s Eve show at the 40 Watt Club. Tickets will run you $15 in advance, and—while it’s not a guaranteed sell out—there’s still a decent chance that demand will be kinda high; so if you’re planning on going, you should go ahead and solidify those plans by picking up some tickets at Schoolkids Records or www.40watt.com. In other of Montreal news, band founder and mouthpiece Kevin Barnes fired a shot heard ‘round the Internet a couple of weeks ago when he published a nearly sentence-by-sentence critique of Pitchfork Media’s review of the band’s latest album, False Priest. This type of reaction is practically universally known to be a bad idea as it never really clarifies anything, has no hope of helping the band and always comes across as shrill and overly self-conscious. You can read the whole thing on Barnes’ Tumblr site located at www.theviolenceofhandcrafteddolls.tumblr.com. Gordon Lamb threatsandpromises@flagpole.com

quiet hooves Sushi Express

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ongs are cheap. At $0.99 per, a single track costs less than a pack of gum. So imagine that you are in a band and consider that it is held together by maybe a handful of songs worth no more than the objects on display at the grocery store counter. These songs aren’t tangible; you can’t hold them in your hands. They change each time you play them. If you want to make a record, it may be because you hope to document these songs that are the basis for all the time you spend in a band. Now, imagine there are 11 other members in your band, all of whom have a stake in these songs. Imagine each of these members deciding they want no part in making the record, that instead they want to entrust one sole member with the task of making this all-important document. Such is the case with Quiet Hooves. For the band’s second record, Saddle Up, bandleader Julian Bozeman wrote the songs and recorded vocals—everything else you hear was arranged, performed and recorded by bandmember Javier Morales. “He recorded every single sound on the album,” Bozeman explains, and he is not exaggerating. That fact is remarkable in itself, but it is astounding in the context of a band like Quiet Hooves, whose varied live show relies in large part on the interplay of a talented group of musicians. It requires some thinking to make sense of the band’s decision to release a record devoid of all but two of its members. “It’s kind of like a throwback idea,” says drummer Mercer West. For “a lot of bands back in the day… everything was like an assembly line: you had your engineer, your songwriter; then the record label guy would come in and tell people to do stuff… this is kind of like we got him [Morales] to do all those things.” West is describing the kind of control exerted by big record companies, control meant to ensure that the music that gets made makes money for all involved. But such control has another, more profound effect, in that it lends authority to the music it produces. A song that could be performed in a dozen different ways becomes three minutes of sound on magnetic tape that, when pressed onto vinyl, acquires value. When a single sells one million copies, the unrecorded variations of the song fade away, and all that endures is the one, definitive version that is all anyone hears who buys the record. Within this model, the recorded version of a song becomes the song itself. And so it is a

mark of how profound a shift has taken place when a musician can speak of his band’s latest album and say, as West does, “It doesn’t have anything to do with us.” Allowing Morales to make the album on his own, the band is acknowledging that any record it were to make would lack the authority to completely speak for the band, just as each live performance can showcase only an aspect, never the band as a whole. Taken as a testament to the idea that recorded music does not stifle variation but rather celebrates it, Saddle Up is groundbreaking. Morales takes Bozeman’s songs—which are wonderful, intricately crafted and entirely deserving of the comparisons they garner to luminaries such as Randy Newman and Kate Bush—and transforms them in a way that highlights their singular beauty, while also casting light on the arranger’s considerable talents. The album functions for the band in a way similar to records like Nilsson Sings Newman or Rock ‘n’ Roll, John Lennon’s album of ‘50s and early ‘60s covers. With Saddle Up, Quiet Hooves have managed to make this kind of record within the confines of a single band. Despite its falsity, there was comfort in the notion that a song, once recorded, exists in one, definitive form. Perhaps more exciting, though, is the reality that each live show captures a unique aspect of a band, each record a new facet of a song, all of these permutations revolving around a center that is itself indefinable save in the minds of those playing the instruments. Quiet Hooves understand this. Their understanding is evident in the care that will be put into hand-making covers for the Saddle Up LP, the manufacture of which was made possible by contributions to the band’s Kickstarter fund. It is also apparent in all 12 members’ commitment to the band, which boils down to a belief in a handful of songs that exist only for a few fleeting moments at a crowded club or in a listener’s headphones. Even chewing gum lasts longer.

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Letting Go of the Reins

Upcoming Events:

Prizes will be given for the cheesiest holiday sweaters. Bring a new unwrapped toy or child-appropriate gift for donation to sick kids at Athens Regional Medical Center. Warm holiday drink specials, assorted snacks and Christmas music.

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DECEMBER 8, 2010 · FLAGPOLE.COM

Anna Ferguson Hall

Kyshona Armstrong Exploring Music as Therapy

Sunday mornings, Kyshona Armstrong brings tears to the eyes of her audience. Every week, without fail, she belts out contemporary hymns of faith and glory from the Classic City Community Church stage with a zeal and passion that could make even the most cynical critic reconsider the idea of the divine. Her voice is clear and hefty, carrying a weight of fortitude that smacks through the psyche and into the gut, filling the belly with a soulstirring resonance. But it is not just on Sunday mornings that Armstrong declares her presence. On a consistent basis, the singer can be found offering her craft to Classic City listeners. Recently, she and her band—Kyshona and the Boys, with guest star Justin Reynolds—opened for John French and the Bastilles at a lively show at the Melting Point. And every Monday evening, Armstrong can be found hosting the new Open Mic Night at Hendershot’s Coffee Bar, a showcase of ever-rotating talent that ends the night by awarding one singer-songwriter a prize and a night headlining the venue. Just as enthusiastically as she announces the singers and presents the line-up, Armstrong, too, offers the crowd a taste of her own talents by singing her songs between sets. “Kyshona is one of the most talented people I have ever heard, for sure,” says Hendershot’s owner Seth Hendershot. “We’re so lucky to have her hosting on Mondays. Athens is lucky to have her here, too.” Armstrong first arrived in Athens as an undergrad student at UGA (majoring in the oboe, of all things). This was followed by short stints in a few other cities, but eventually the now 30-year-old was called back here, working as a music therapist for at-risk youth before taking on music as her full-time job this year—a transition, she says, that has been a satisfying challenge. “It’s not easy, you know, doing this fulltime; things get tight,” Armstrong says. “But it’s working. I’m making it work, and it’s really rewarding. I just felt like I needed to be selfish, just for a year, do this for myself.” That leap of faith has led her to some parts of the country she never expected to go—especially with a soul-funk grove in tow. Places like South Dakota, Missouri and Iowa. Places known for cherishing Americana and questioning the unfamiliar, which her music, she admits, can be.

FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 8, 2010

Heavily influenced by the blend of bluegrass, folk, gospel and country music that played in her home as a child, Armstrong’s songwriting messes harmonies and melodies across musical borders, unafraid to abandon conventional styles for the sake of an individualized creative process. “I didn’t know how to describe my genre,” she says. “Some of my friends like to call me neo-soul, but even that doesn’t encompass all of what I play. No one seems able to really just sum it up, including me. I don’t think it can be boxed into one category. I just play what I feel.” The one label that can be placed on Armstrong’s music is “personal.” All of her songs come from her own experiences or the retelling of experiences of her friends. “Deep,” a hallmark piece Armstrong performs at every show, tells the story of a friend who suddenly died, marking the first time Armstrong had ever experienced the loss of someone close. Other songs give voice to Armstrong’s reflection on what life would be like if she were in another person’s shoes, taking a friend’s personal story and telling it from her own perspective. And though Armstrong admits that she has never been in love (“Nope, hasn’t happened yet. One day I hope it will, but right now, I am more worried with just loving myself,” she says), her works often perfectly portray the great joy of having a partner or the heartache of a break-up. “I love telling stories, even when they are not mine,” Armstrong says. “When someone comes up to you after a show and tells you how much a song touched them, it is just such a great feeling. I had one woman tell me after a show that she didn’t know the words I was singing, but the way the song sounded… that was exactly how she felt and she was moved to tears. It’s not that I want to make people cry, but sometimes, you know, you just need a good cry.” Anna Ferguson Hall

WHAT: Open Mic Faceoff Hosted by Kyshona Armstrong WHERE: Hendershot’s Coffee Bar WHEN: Every Monday, 8 p.m. HOW MUCH: FREE!

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The Journalism Booster Club is hosting

A Night So Silent Night:

A Silent Auction to Benefit the Odyssey Newsmagazine

December 11, 2010 from 7 to 9pm

at ATHICA in at 160 Tracy St. in the Chase Street Warehouses

Food catered by The National, The Globe, Mama’s Boy, Marti’s at Midday and many others.

Live Music from the Atlanta Calypso band

Panablaze

Tickets will be sold in advance and suggested donations at the door will be $20.

DECEMBER 8, 2010 · FLAGPOLE.COM

Erica Strout

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Bernstein Funeral Home 15th Annual

Christmas Rememberance Service December 16, 2010 Special Music:

Reg Gattie and members of Prince Ave. Baptist Church Choir 6:30pm Rememberance Message:

Dr. Paul Baxley Senior Pastor, Athens First Baptist Church 7:00pm Bring a personalized ornament and place it on our Rememberance Tree in memory of your special person as Dr. Baxley calls out their name. We will have ornaments available that we can personalize for you or if you left one last year, they will be available also.

Refreshments will be served following the service.

RSVP by December 15, 2010 BERNSTEIN FUNERAL HOME 3195 Atlanta Highway | 706-543-7373

FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 8, 2010

introducing Roach Pedals Custom Guitar Effects by Jason Roach

here’s an old cliché that the people who make the amps, guitars and pedals so thoroughly abused by modern musicians are former musicians themselves, unmoored from their positions as players by one abiding principle: If what they were playing didn’t sound good, it couldn’t possibly be them that was the problem; it must be the gear. That couldn’t be further from the truth in the case of Jason Roach. A genuinely modest guitar virtuoso (he took home first prize from the 283 Shredfest last year), Roach is unflappably amicable and persistently unassuming, despite his talents on the fretboard as well as the circuit board. After establishing himself as a go-to fix-it guy for local musicians, he’s now in the process of launching a line of original pedals under the typically nononsense banner of Roach Pedals. Growing up in the middle of upstate New York (which is another way of saying the middle of nowhere), Roach began tinkering with (read: destroying) anything he could get his hands on at an early age. “Toying with gear began pretty much from the get-go, way prior to even being in bands,” he says. “When I got my first guitar [at age 12], if something went wrong with it, I kinda had to figure out how to fix it. Even prior to instruments, [I was] tearing apart toys and other things I had lying around. I had a weird, neurotic obsession with figuring out how things worked.” All of this was pre-Internet. By the time that endless encyclopedia became a household amenity, a 16-year-old Roach was moving on to new horizons. “I helped my friend build what’s called a tone dialer to steal phone calls from pay phones,” he says. “It was basically, ‘what can we tear apart and make fun and use to our advantage?’” At college, Roach met multiinstrumentalist Matt Kurz in the school’s music business program. The two formed the Gimme Five, a sort of “dueling bass guitars” version of Mötörhead. It was around this time that he started working at a music equipment shop. “I started messing around with various effects and things like that just from working there. I would see what would happen if I wired things up wrong—that’s when it really started to take off.” A year or so after Matt Kurz moved to Athens to further develop his one-man band the Matt Kurz One, Roach, along with his

girlfriend Jennifer Weishaupt, realized they “were kind of fed up with winter, so we said, ‘Why don’t we get out of the snow for a while?’” A little while after moving to town, Roach joined up with Mary Joyce and later Adam Hebert to form tech-metal power trio Maximum Busy Muscle, where his riff dexterity began turning heads, along with a bizarre modification he’d added to his guitar. “It’s what’s called an EMG afterburner, and it’s basically a clean boost that’s miniaturized with a tiny PCB mounted to a push-pull pot, and when you pop it out, it’s supposed to make your signal boost up to 20 decibels,” says Roach. “I wired it so when it’s off, technically in the off position, it’s actually on, so it’s always boosted a little bit and adds a little clarity. But when I turn it on, it goes into a feedback loop, so it self-oscillates, basically.” In English? “It sort of sounds like a theremin.” While playing around town and working at the 40 Watt, Roach noted the popularity of boutique effects pedals: limited edition stompboxes made by small companies like Mid-Fi Electronics, Z-Vex, or Death by Audio. With the backing of local producer Joel Hatstat, Roach designed his inaugural piece, an overdrive pedal. You’ve probably heard it being test-driven around town: Reid Bateh of Bambara, Erica Strout of the Incendiaries, and Brant Rackley of Japancakes are all trying Roach’s pedal out for size. Beyond the overdrive and a forthcoming retro-sounding fuzz pedal, Roach says, “I’d like to keep it open to doing custom stuff; that’s kind of the idea— to have people come to me and say, ‘Hey, can you do this?’ and that’ll be the modus for now. “I saw what was being built was sort of out of the price range for people, like, ‘Here’s a $400 overdrive pedal.’ And I was like, ‘Well, I can do that a lot cheaper and pretty much do the same thing.’ I mean, I play music, and I can’t afford that kind of gear, but I can put that together and sell it for $150, and it’s pretty much the same thing. It won’t have the name on it that everyone would’ve heard of, but [the idea is] just doing it and doing it for working musicians—people who have a service industry job—basically just helping out people.” Jeff Tobias Roach’s band Maximum Busy Muscle is playing at Go Bar on Wednesday, Dec. 8.

record reviews FRAN HEALY Wreckorder Rykodisc Here’s hoping Scottish pop act Travis (“Why Does It Always Rain on Me?” remember?) hasn’t been cast too far into the depths of stateside obscurity for frontman Fran Healy to warm a few hearts with this unexpected, delightful solo debut. Melodies have always come easily to Healy, and here once again he demonstrates his McCartney-esque knack for earworms and minor chord mood. Sir Paul himself even makes an appearance on the record, adding an understated bass line to the hearttugging track “As It Comes.” Neko Case also does her part to boost the album’s profile, stealing the spotlight with her smoldering croon on “Sing Me to Sleep.” While Healy’s voice is sweet and silky as ever, the overall tone of Wreckorder is surprisingly solemn. String arrangements far outnumber guitar riffs, adding a sort of cinematic sophistication to the record. Unfortunately, that sophistication is not always extended to the lyrics, and Healy’s weakness for easy rhymes makes for a handful of nonsensical, cringe-worthy moments. The main offender (no pun intended, Travis fans) is “Fly In the Ointment” with lines about being “high… in the sky” and the recurring, awkward pairing of “ointment” with “appointment” (to which he is constantly being made late even though he is just “sitting on a wall”). And when you expect him to say he’ll propose to the lady in “Buttercups,” he instead sings that if he had a diamond ring, he’d “wear it through his nose.” But, you know, pop music was never really meant for explication, and I’m sure Macca would agree that we can never have too many silly love songs—especially when they are as charismatically delivered as these. Michelle Gilzenrat Fran Healy is playing at The Loft in Atlanta on Wednesday, Dec. 8

THE NICE MACHINE Terrordactyl Face Independent Release “How did those guys get power tools to sound like such a party?” Such is the first question that comes to mind when listening to The Nice Machine’s new album, Terrordactyl Face. The Nice

Machine adheres to a mantra of repetition-as-good-thing throughout the nine very short tracks of this record, 100 percent to positive effect. Album opener “Cop Rex” is fast, hectic and precise, letting buzzsaw guitars and syncopated surf riffs dominate the 2:23 track time. By the end of that tune, by which time you’ve barely had a chance to chug a single sip of your Jolt Cola, the tone of Terrordactyl Face has been set. You know not to listen for lyrics (there aren’t any) and also that you now own sonic Prozac—Terrordactyl Face is that goddamn upbeat. Like Georgia brethren The B-52s and Man or Astro-Man?, The Nice Machine plays particularly American surf-pop music, reminiscent of pulpy 1940s and ‘50s Hollywood (think Buck Rogers, Ed Wood flicks and Raymond Chandler novels). As evidence, look to the song “Love and Gravity.” Amid slinky reverb and—do I hear a Theremin?—the zombies/space monsters/black lagoon creatures of yesteryear putter around, inviting you to join their little freakfest. It’s alright, friends. You can party with them. Mark Sanders The Nice Machine is playing at Hendershot’s Coffee on Saturday, Dec. 11.

HOT NEW MEXICANS Hot New Mexicans Houseplant/Recess Now would be a good time to revitalize the tired term “pop punk” such that its use indicates a band like Hot New Mexicans rather than Hot Topic fashion tragedies pumping out half-hearted “whoa-oh-oh” choruses over SoCal leftovers. The Mexicans pull melodies from the whole history of rock and roll and make surprisingly good use of surprising influences like The Who and Bruce Springsteen. Although the record begins with a discordant stomp of a rhythm (“Start With A Maybe”), this is quickly over and the track flows into a terrific pubrock chorus. Stand-out track “Dumpy Day” features a lead guitar that lifts liberally from the vocal melody of Elvis Costello’s “Radio Radio” while still retaining its own identity. Ever since house-show-punk took a hard left turn about a decade ago, picking up acoustic guitars and embracing melody as its right, it has been exciting to witness the development of bands like Hot New Mexicans. Sure, the band is fully electric on this album, but most of these songs could go campfire-style at any moment. The Mexicans are a good head or two lyrically above their contemporaries, also. Some tracks fall, in a good way, into total anthem territory (“This Is to Be,” “Through Windows”) and others feel like accidental eavesdropping. In particular, closing track “No Rest Or End” is a beautiful piano and vocal meditation in which the melody disappears completely after two minutes and is replaced by ambient sounds of life punctuated by absurd toy music. This

careful and observant—not to mention, vulnerable—audio-painting is part and parcel of Hot New Mexicans’ brand of pop(ulisit) punk. Automatic for the people, indeed. Gordon Lamb

PEPPER RABBIT Beauregard Kanine If Beauregard makes one thing clear, it’s that Xander Singh and Luc Laurent—AKA Pepper Rabbit—know a thing or two about musical arrangements. From the album’s opening clarinet notes to the horn-laden closing track, Beauregard weaves a myriad of orchestral instrumentation into the band’s core avant-garde reverb-heavy sound that lies in the vein of Grizzly Bear and Fleet Foxes. The Animal Collective-esque “Song for a Pump Organ” is lush, swirling organ ballad with a hypnotic vocal melody overtop a slow bass and kick drum stomp. The band switches instruments, however, in nearly every song: “In the Spirit of Beauregard” opens with an accordion and piano duet, and then evolves into a sort of cut-time circus jig before erupting into a soaring chorus with a vocal melody that smacks of David Bowie. Yet despite the diverse instrumental orchestration and arrangements, Pepper Rabbit manages to keep a coherent sound throughout the album. In the ocean of reverb-obsessed guitar bands fighting for attention these days, Pepper Rabbit stands out from the crowd by infusing organic timbres into the very foundations of the compositions. The songs are haunting soundscapes, the instrumentation is beautiful and the sound is calculated without sounding forced. Deservedly, Beauregard is already turning some heads in the industry, and hopefully Pepper Rabbit’s upcoming tour dates with Freelance Whales, Passion Pit and Ra Ra Riot will garner them the serious attention they deserve. John Granofsky

WARPAINT The Fool Rough Trade The debut full-length album from Warpaint fashions a dreamy soundscape, piloted by ghostly vocal harmonies and hazy guitar sounds. The all-girl quartet from Los Angeles wields Emily Kokal’s voice, a pretty little

feather that floats atop a cloud of reverb exhaust left by texture-geared guitar parts and post-punk drumbeats. But Theresa Wayman and Jenny Lee Lindberg’s unique backing harmonies are what truly define Warpaint’s sound. The Fool is ornamented with impressive vocal rounds and overlapping vocal melodies that make it a more engaging album than what I initially took it to be: good background music for a meditative bubble bath. There is only one minor annoyance on the record, and that’s the guitarist’s affection for the chorus pedal, as evidence in the introduction of the song “Warpaint.” A chorus-garbed postgrunge riff emerges from a swelling, machine-like pulse, and I am immediately reminded of something off of the Scorpion King soundtrack. Thankfully Emily Kokal’s voice steps in for 12 Stone’s Paul McCoy, and the song narrowly averts the foreboding shit storm, transforming instead into what sounds like a hypnotic premonition. There is no doubt that the vocals are what set The Fool apart. They are delivered with a finesse that propels Warpaint through the haze, giving the album a level of intimacy that will attract a broad range of listeners. Alexander McKelvey

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SAD BRAD SMITH Love Is Not What You Need Independent Release When a barely-heard-of recording artist lands a gig penning the song for a major motion picture starring George Clooney, it’s generally considered the pinnacle of his/her career. For Chicago native Sad Brad Smith, it was merely the jumpstart to a promising profession just outside the spotlight. Originally, some feared Smith’s single “Help Yourself” being featured on the soundtrack of Jason Reitman’s Up In the Air would overshadow the release of his album Love Is Not What You Need. However, the pre-album success gave him a much needed boost above the overly saturated indie singersongwriter circuit. Using vocal blends comparable to Thom Yorke and cutesy sarcasm reminiscent of late indie media darlings The Unicorns or Neutral Milk Hotel, Love Is Not What You Need is a marriage of melancholy wit and easy-listening. The album features 12 keyboard, ukulele and soft percussion-driven tunes that will break your heart—in a good way. Simple and reflective songs like “Old Days Are Here Again” and “Home Sweet Home” echo Simon and Garfunkel while the title track could have fit comfortably on a Jeff Buckley record. Smith takes the well-worn themes of loneliness and unrequited love, dusts them off and slaps on a fresh coat of exaggeration. The resulting sound is an instant classic. Love Is Not What You Need is both sardonic and genuine— a gem of an album that will have you chuckling one minute and sighing wistfully the next. Carrie Dagenhard

Claus & Paws Come have your pet’s

picture taken with Santa while supporting a great cause!

When:

Saturday, December 11th

Time: 10:00am – 2:00pm Where: Memorial Park Cost: $7 for 1 pic, $10 for 2, $ 5 for each additional photo Proceeds benefit Athens Canine Rescue, a non-profit volunteer network of foster homes in Athens, Georgia. For more info, visit:

athenscaninerescue.com

DECEMBER 8, 2010 · FLAGPOLE.COM

the calendar! WHAT’S HAPPENING THIS WEEK

Deadline for getting listed in the calendar is every FRIDAY at 5 p.m. for the issue that comes out the following Wednesday. Email calendar@flagpole.com.

Tuesday 7 EVENTS: A Classic Christmas (Classic City Consignment) Come enjoy holiday music, refreshments and other activities as you shop local artists and vendors. 11 a.m.–6 p.m. FREE! 706-543-9333 PERFORMANCE: Harry J.Nelson (Edge Recital Hall) Student recital from the guitarist. 6:30 p.m. FREE! www.uga.edu/pac PERFORMANCE: Open TOAD Comedy (Flicker Theatre & Bar) A unique open mic experience. The audience gets to pelt the performers who go over their six-minute time limit with foam rocks. Performers get in FREE! but must sign up by 8 p.m. 8:30 p.m. FREE! www.myspace.com/ flickerbar PERFORMANCE: Joshua S.Teague (Edge Recital Hall) Student recital from the cellist. 8 p.m. FREE! www.uga.edu/pac THEATRE: The Magic of Broadway: Musical Revue (UGA Fine Arts Building, Balcony Theatre) The UGA musical theatre student group, Next Act, performs numbers from some of the biggest Broadway productions. 8 p.m. 706-542-2836 KIDSTUFF: Children’s Storytime (ACC Library) For children ages 18 months to 5 years. Tuesdays, 9:30 a.m., Wednesdays, 10:30 a.m. FREE! 706-613-3650 KIDSTUFF: Family Afternoon at the (Described) Movies (ACC Library) This month, the holiday classic A Charlie Brown Chrismas. Film features a non-intrusive narrative track for visually impaired viewers. 3 p.m. FREE! 706-613-3650 LECTURES & LIT.: Hadacol Days: A Southern Boyhood (ACC Library) Sports writer and Statham native Clyde Bolton discusses his new book. 12 p.m. FREE! 706-6133650 MEETINGS: Sitting Meditation Group (Mind Body Institute) Silent meditation. 12:30 p.m. FREE! 706475-7329 GAMES: Locos Trivia (Locos Grill & Pub) All three Athens locations of Locos Grill and Pub (Westside, Eastside and Harris St.) feature trivia night every Tuesday. 8:30 p.m. FREE! www.locosgrill.com GAMES: Trivia (Alibi) Find out what Visual Audio Trivia is! 8 p.m. FREE! 706-549-1010

Wednesday 8 EVENTS: The Rocky Horror Show Special Benefit (Athens Community Theatre) Special presentation to benefit Boybutante AIDS Foundation. Food and beverages at the pre-reception, admission to the show and post-show cast reception. 7 p.m. $20. www.boybutante.org, www.townandgownplayers.org *

EVENTS: Canine Cocktail Hour (Hotel Indigo, Madison Bar & Bistro Courtyard) Drink and food specials for you and your (well-behaved, non-aggressive, vaccinated) dog! This week: salty dogs and greyhounds. Every Wednesday. 5–7 p.m. www.indigoathens.com EVENTS: Champagne Dinner (The National) Five courses paired with special champagnes for each course. 6:30 p.m. $75. 706-549-3450 EVENTS: A Classic Christmas (Classic City Consignment) Come enjoy holiday music, refreshments and other activities as you shop local artists and vendors. 11 a.m.–6 p.m. FREE! 706-543-9333 PERFORMANCE: “Rak” the 40 Watt (40 Watt Club) Bellydancing show. All ages! 7 p.m. $5 (adv.) $8 (door). www.40watt.com KIDSTUFF: Children’s Storytime (ACC Library) For children ages 18 months to 5 years. Tuesdays, 9:30 a.m., Wednesdays, 10:30 a.m. FREE! 706-613-3650 KIDSTUFF: Creative Wrapping (Oconee County Library) Teens aged 11–18 are invited to this workshop where they will have the opportunity to learn to make their own wrapping paper. All materials are supplied by the library. 6–8 p.m. FREE! 706769-3950 KIDSTUFF: Design Your Own Wrapping Paper (Oconee County Library) Impress your friends and family with homemade fancy wrapping paper! Snacks provided! For teens ages 11-18. 6–8 p.m. FREE! 706-769-3950 KIDSTUFF: Homeschoolers Chapter Book Review (Madison County Library) Elementary schoolage homeschoolers gather at the library to read a book together and talk about it. Every Wednesday. 2 p.m. FREE! 706-795-5597 KIDSTUFF: Wildcard Wednesday for Teens (ACC Library) Up Next: Drawing Basics–Stencils. Stencils are a great way to learn about positive and negative space. Make your own stencil. Ages 11–18. 4 p.m. FREE! 706-613-3650 LECTURES & LIT.: Eugene Bianchi (Borders Books & Music) The Athens resident and Emory emeritus professor of religion reads from his lively and thoughtprovoking memoir. 7 p.m. FREE! 706-583-8647 GAMES: Dart League and Game Night (Alibi) Meet up with other sharp-shooters. FREE! 706-5491010 GAMES: Poker Night (Buffalo’s Southwest Café) Texas Hold ‘Em every Wednesday. 18 and up. Sign in at 6:30 p.m. Dealing begins at 7:30 p.m. FREE! www.interstatepokerclub. com GAMES: Sports Trivia (Beef ‘O’ Brady’s) Every Wednesday. Win house cash and prizes! 8:30 p.m. FREE! 706-850-1916

FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 8, 2010

GAMES: Trivia (Copper Creek Brewing Company) Test your trivia chops for prizes! Every Wednesday. 9 p.m. FREE! 706-546-1102 GAMES: Trivia (Willy’s Mexicana Grill) Test your trivia knowledge for prizes every Wednesday! 8 p.m. FREE! 706-548-1920

Thursday 9 EVENTS: A Classic Christmas (Classic City Consignment) Come enjoy holiday music, refreshments and other activities as you shop local artists and vendors. 11 a.m.–6 p.m. FREE! 706-543-9333 EVENTS: Films by Bob Ray (Flicker Theatre & Bar) Screening of Hell on Wheels (7 p.m.) and Total Badass (9:30 p.m.). 7 p.m. 706-546-0039 EVENTS: Holiday Open House (Frontier) Wine and snacks provided at this holiday event where attendees can meet the artists, win prizes and donate to local charities. 6–9 p.m. FREE! 706-369-8079 EVENTS: iFilms: 49 UP (ACC Library) In 1964 researchers began conducting interviews with 14 children across England. Every seven years the researchers conduct a new series of interviews with the same 14 participants. Director Michael Apted now reveals what life is like at age 49 for them. 7 p.m. FREE! 706613-3650 EVENTS: Open House (Georgetown Frames) Holiday event with book signing, original art, photography, handmade jewelry and more! Live music and refreshments included. 6–8 p.m. FREE! 706-3674 EVENTS: Yappy Hour for (WellBehaved) Dogs (283 Bar) Happy hour is all the more happy when your dog is by your side. Come out for drink specials for humans and endless bowls of water and treats for the furries. 5–8 p.m. 706-208-1283 EVENTS: Yuletide Musical Dinner (The Georgian) Full-course dinner with music by Athens Chamber Singers accompanied by the Lokshen Kugel Klezmer Band. Advance reservations only. 7:30– 9:30 p.m. $40. 706-353-6976 PERFORMANCE: Second Thursdays Comedy Night (The Globe) SHARKwING Theatre and Improv Athens join forces to bring you this monthly comedy night. 9:30 p.m. FREE! info@sharkwingtheatre. com PERFORMANCE: St. Cecilia Society Girls Chorus (Borders Books & Music) This troupe from Monsignor Donovan Catholic High School sings holiday standards. 5 p.m. FREE! 706-583-8647 THEATRE: Jingle in the City (Morton Theatre) It’s a jazz-filled 1940s Christmas in the heart of New York City. Follow a group of children as they learn the true meaning of the holidays. Dec. 9 & 10, 7:30 p.m.

Alexei Gural’s collage “The Traveler” is on display at Visionary Growth Gallery Dec. 12 through Jan. 31. Dec. 11, 2:30 p.m. & 7:30 p.m. Dec. 12, 2:30 p.m. $10. 706-613-3770, www.mortontheatre.com THEATRE: The Rocky Horror Show (Athens Community Theatre) The Town & Gown Players would like to take you on a strange journey with their performance of Richard O’Brien’s science fiction stage musical. Dec. 8, 7 p.m. (Boybutante benefit $20); Dec. 9 & 11, 8 p.m. Dec.10, 8 p.m. & midnight. Dec.12, 2 p.m. $15–$18. 706-208-8696, www.townandgownplayers.org KIDSTUFF: Georgia Children’s Book Award Trivia (ACC Library) Join us for trivia battles about books nominated for the 2010–2011 Georgia Children’s Book Award. 4 p.m. FREE! 706-613-3650 KIDSTUFF: Holiday Storytime (Oconee County Library) Children of all ages are invited to a reading of A Pirate’s Night Before Christmas. 6:30 p.m. FREE! 706-769-3950 LECTURES & LIT.: AfricanAmerican Authors Book Club (East Athens Community Center) This month’s title is For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow is Enuf by Ntozake Shange. Newcomers welcome. 5 p.m. FREE! 706-613-3650 GAMES: Beer Pong (Alibi) The classic tournament-style game. 9 p.m. FREE! 706-549-1010 GAMES: Dart Tourney (Alibi) Inhouse weekly dart tournment. 9 p.m. FREE! 706-549-1010

Friday 10 EVENTS: Bethlehem Market Place (Tuckston United Methodist Church) Come take a walk through the old world while shopping for unique food and gift items. Dec. 10 & 11, 7–9 p.m. Dec. 12, 6–8 p.m. FREE! EVENTS: A Classic Christmas (Classic City Consignment) Come enjoy holiday music, refreshments

and other activities as you shop local artists and vendors. 11 a.m.–6 p.m. FREE! 706-543-9333 EVENTS: Good Dirt Annual Holiday Pottery Sale (Good Dirt) 13th annual sale features functional pottery and ceramic sculpture from a wide selection of studio potters. Dec. 10, 5 p.m.–9 p.m. Dec. 11 & 12, 10 a.m.–5 p.m. www.gooddirt.net EVENTS: Honeypot Overstock Tent Sale (Bee Natural, 160 Winston Dr.) Oodles of all-natural honeypot candles to choose from. Dec. 10, 4–7 p.m. Dec. 11, noon–5 p.m. 706-354-0645, www.beenatural.com EVENTS: Railroad Arts District Holiday Market (Chase Street Warehouses) Featuring hand-crafted ceramics, jewelry, knitwear and more, including homemade candies! 3–9 p.m. FREE! ktimes@bellsouth. net EVENTS: Yuletide Musical Dinner (The Georgian) See Dec. 9 Event Listing. 7:30–9:30 p.m. $40. 706353-6976 ART: AHA! Opening Reception (This-Way-Out (T-W-O), 680 W. Broad St.) for “Athens Has Art!” show. Musical performances by Emily Armond & Kate Morrissey. 7–10 p.m. FREE! athens.company@gmail.com ART: Happy Hour Creations (Whole: Mind. Body. Art.) Canvas, paint, step-by-step instructions and tasty treats will be provided. Please BYOB. 7–10 p.m. $35. www.wholemindbodyart.com ART: Opening Reception (Trace Gallery) For “Studio Potters” exhibition and sale. Show runs through Jan. 7. 6–9 p.m. FREE! www.tracegalleryathens.com PERFORMANCE: We Will Rock You! (Oconee County Civic Center) Oconee County High School Glitz n’ Ritz Show Choir presents their annual winter show. 7 p.m. $5. 706202-7852

THEATRE: Jingle in the City (Morton Theatre) See Dec. 9 Theatre Listing. Dec. 9 & 10, 7:30 p.m. Dec. 11, 2:30 p.m. & 7:30 p.m. Dec. 12, 2:30 p.m. $10. 706-613-3770, www. mortontheatre.com THEATRE: Miss Nelson Is Missing! (Seney-Stovall Chapel) Young Actors Studio presents a theatrical adaptation of Harry Allard and James Marshall’s popular children’s book. Dec. 10, 7:30 p.m. Dec. 11, 2 p.m. & 7:30 p.m. $8–$10. youngactorsstudio@gmail.com, youngactorsstudio.googlepages.com THEATRE: The Rocky Horror Show (Athens Community Theatre) See Dec. 9 Theatre. Dec. 8, 7 p.m. (Boybutante benefit $20); Dec. 9 & 11, 8 p.m. Dec.10, 8 p.m. & midnight. Dec.12, 2 p.m. $15–$18. 706-208-8696, www.townandgownplayers.org KIDSTUFF: Books & Bites (Madison County Library) Reading program for teens ages 13-19. Bring something to read or study or drawing materials for quiet entertainment. 8–10 p.m. FREE! 706–795-5597 KIDSTUFF: Fun with Games (Lay Park) Play the many fun and educational games donated by the Friends of the Library. Fridays, 3:30–5 p.m. FREE! 706-613-3667 KIDSTUFF: PJs, Pasta and Poses (Full Bloom Center) Parents can drop off their children for a fun and healthy night of yoga and pasta. Hosted by Fresh Kids and Yoga Sprouts. 6–9 p.m. $30. 706-3721757, yogasprouts.com KIDSTUFF: Preschool & Toddler Storytime (Madison County Library) Includes stories, fingerpuppet plays, songs and crafts for literacy-based fun. 10:30 a.m. FREE! 706-795-5597 KIDSTUFF: Spanish Storytime (ACC Library) Led by UGA student volunteers from the Department of Language and Literacy Education. 5 p.m. FREE! 706-613-3650

LECTURES & LIT.: “Fighting Poverty One Community At A Time” (Georgia Center, Room K/L) Ohio State’s Mark Patridge delivers the 26th Annual J.W. Fanning Lecture. 10:30 a.m. FREE! 706542-0763 LECTURES & LIT.: Gene-Social Seminar (UGA Tate Center, Room 481) Micheal Shanahan delivers a lecture titled “Genetic Variation of the Serotonin Transporter Moderates the Socioeconomic Health Gradient and Hypertension.” 2 p.m. 706542-6100 MEETINGS: Mindfulness Practice Group (Mind Body Institute) Beginners and experienced mindfulness practitioners welcome. Meets the second Friday of each month. 5:30 p.m. FREE! 706-475-7329

Saturday 11 EVENTS: Absolute Crockery! (Carter Gillies Pottery) Featuring work by local potters including Geoff and Lisa Pickett, Jeff Bishoff, Jim Peckham, Julie Greene and Juana Gnecco. Dec. 11 & 12, 10 a.m.–4 p.m. FREE! 706-546-7235 EVENTS: Athens Area Democrats Breakfast (Brett’s Casual American Restaurant) Speakers from various non-profit organizations are featured at today’s breakfast. Call for reservations. 9 a.m. 706–543–1480, anitabarney@charter.net EVENTS: Athens Farmers Market (Bishop Park) Buy fresh, locally grown organic produce, locally crafted goods and freshly baked breads. Now accepting EBT cards. Every Saturday. 8 a.m.–Noon. FREE! www.athensfarmersmarket.net EVENTS: Bethlehem Market Place (Tuckston United Methodist Church) See Dec. 10 Event Listing. Dec. 10 & 11, 7–9 p.m. Dec. 12, 6–8 p.m. FREE! EVENTS: A Classic Christmas (Classic City Consignment) Come enjoy holiday music, refreshments and other activities as you shop local artists and vendors. 11 a.m.–6 p.m. FREE! 706-543-9333 EVENTS: English Country Market at Christmastide (The Portico, High Shoals) Shop jewelry, soaps, artwork, textiles, handmade books and more from local artists while enjoying foods of the season. 10 a.m.–4 p.m. FREE! 706-340-7123 EVENTS: Good Dirt Annual Holiday Pottery Sale (Good Dirt) 13th annual sale features functional pottery and ceramic sculpture from a wide selection of studio potters. Dec. 10, 5 p.m.–9 p.m. Dec. 11 & 12, 10 a.m.–5 p.m. www.gooddirt.net EVENTS: Handmade Holly Day Market (Treehouse Kid and Craft) Only handmade goods, including organic breaks, homemade cookies, knit goods, clothing, toys and jewelry. 10 a.m.–6 p.m. FREE! 706850-8226 EVENTS: Holiday Afternoon Tea (Athens Community Council on Aging, 135 Hoyt St.) Athens Community Council on Aging hosts a tea in celebration of the winter holiday season. Tea, sandwiches and desserts will be served, and Santa Claus will make a special appearance. The Athens Choral Society will provide seasonal music. All ages are encouraged and invited to attend. 4 p.m. (Dec. 11), 2 p.m. (Dec. 12). $15 (children) $20 (adults). 706549-4850. cboozer@accaging.org, www.accaging.org * EVENTS: Holiday Market (White Tiger Gourmet Food & Chocolates) No table fee and no need to register. Artists are encouraged to show up early to grab a table. All types of arts and crafts are welcome. Shoppers

will have the opportunity to shop the wares all day. 11 a.m.–6 p.m. FREE! 706-353-6847 EVENTS: Holiday Pottery and Jewelry Sale (Marmalade Pottery) Group sale featuring pottery and jewelry from artists Maria Dondero, Jorie Berman, Lauren Gallaspy, Allya MacDonald, Stephanie Vogel, Melissa Walter and Crisha Yantis. Dec. 11 & 12, 9 a.m.–5 p.m. FREE! 706-248-6899, www.mariadondero. com EVENTS: Holiday Studio Sale (R. Wood Studio) Annual holiday sale featuring ceramic dinnerware and unique collectables. 9 a.m.–4 p.m. 706-613-8525, www.rwoodstudio. com EVENTS: Honeypot Overstock Tent Sale (Bee Natural, 160 Winston Dr.) Oodles of all-natural honeypot candles to choose from. Dec. 10, 4–7 p.m. Dec. 11, noon–5 p.m. 706-354-0645, www.beenatural.com EVENTS: Not So Silent Night (ATHICA) Bid on art, jewelry, weekend getaways, computer services and more at this second annual fundraiser for Clarke Central High School’s student publications, Odyssey Newsmagazine and Iliad Literary Magazine. Festivities include live music from Atlanta’s steel drum band Panablaze and catering from Mama’s Boy. 7–9 p.m. $20 (suggested donation). 706-3575200, www.athica.org EVENTS: Ohh, Boy! Sidewalk Art Sale (Ohh, Boy!) Local artists are invited to bring their tables and set up in the Ohh, Boy! parking lot. The store is open for normal business. Reserve your spot by email. 12 p.m.–6 p.m. FREE! ohh.boy.store@ gmail.com EVENTS: Open House (WareLyndon House) Come see the display of traditional holiday decorations in this historic home and enjoy hands-on crafts and musical and theatrical performances for the whole family. 10 a.m.–4 p.m. FREE! www. accleisureservices.com EVENTS: Paws and Claus (Memorial Park) Get your pet’s picture taken with Santa! Pictures printed while you wait. Hosted by Athens Canine Rescue. 10 a.m.–2 p.m. www.athenscaninerescue.com EVENTS: Charles Pinckney Studio Open House (Charles Pinckney Studio) The award winning designer of jewelry and lamps opens his studio for a holiday sale. 10 a.m.–6 p.m. FREE! 706-614-6114, www. charlespinckney.com EVENTS: Yuletide Musical Dinner (The Georgian) See Dec. 9 Event Listing. 7:30–9:30 p.m. $40. 706353-6976 * ART: Opening Reception (Flicker Theatre & Bar) For Will Hart’s December show. 8:30 p.m. FREE! 706-546-0039 PERFORMANCE: We Will Rock You! (Oconee County Civic Center) Oconee County High School Glitz n’ Ritz Show Choir presents their annual winter show. 7 p.m. $5. 706202-7852 * PERFORMANCE: Athens Symphony Christmas Concert (The Classic Center) Holiday concert featuring the Athens Symphony and the Athens Symphony Chorus. Dec. 11, 8 p.m. Dec. 12, 3 p.m. FREE! www.classiccenter.com THEATRE: Jingle in the City (Morton Theatre) See Dec. 9 Theatre Listing. Dec. 9 & 10, 7:30 p.m. Dec. 11, 2:30 p.m. & 7:30 p.m. Dec. 12, 2:30 p.m. $10. 706-613-3770, www. mortontheatre.com THEATRE: Miss Nelson Is Missing! (Seney-Stovall Chapel) Young Actors Studio presents a theatrical adaptation of Harry Allard and

James Marshall’s popular children’s book. Dec. 10, 7:30 p.m. Dec. 11, 2 p.m. & 7:30 p.m. $8–$10. youngactorsstudio@gmail.com, youngactorsstudio.googlepages.com * THEATRE: The Rocky Horror Show (Athens Community Theatre) See Dec. 9 Theatre. Dec. 8, 7 p.m. (Boybutante benefit $20); Dec. 9 & 11, 8 p.m. Dec.10, 8 p.m. & midnight. Dec.12, 2 p.m. $15–$18. 706-208-8696, www.townandgownplayers.org KIDSTUFF: Breakfast with Santa (Sandy Creek Nature Center) Santa is terribly busy this time of year, but he knows how important breakfast is. Join him for crafts, activities and photos! Call to sign up for a time. 8 & 10:15 a.m. $5. 706-613-3580 KIDSTUFF: Cookies and Crafts with Santa (Whole: Mind. Body. Art.) Children are invited to make three Christmas themed crafts. The break for snack time includes a visit from Santa and a reading of The Night Before Christmas. 1:30–3:30 p.m. $10. 706-410-0134 KIDSTUFF: First Graders from Mars! (Madison County Library) Fun program for elementary school children and parents with a reading of the fouth episode in the Shana Corey’s series First Graders from Mars. 10 a.m. FREE! 706-795-5597 KIDSTUFF: Mingle with Kringle (OCAF) OCAF hosts a children’s workshop where kids can create cards, jewelry, gingerbread houses and gifts for family members. There will also be holiday singers, a puppet show and a Mother Goose reading. A FREE! photo shoot with Kringle and sack lunch are included. Register to reserve a spot. 10 a.m.–noon & 1–3 p.m. $2 donation or new toy. 706-769-4565, info@ ocaf.com KIDSTUFF: Second Saturday Storytime (Sandy Creek Nature Center) Join the SCNC staff for stories about the woods and their resident creatures. 2:30 p.m. FREE! 706-613-3615, www.accleisureservices.com LECTURES & LIT.: Flashback: Vietnam: Cover-Up (Borders Books & Music) Author Alan Thomas’ account of a failed mission during the Vietnam War. 4 p.m. FREE! 706-583-8647 LECTURES & LIT.: Lazarus Still Rises Reading (Borders Books & Music) Barbara Cornelius, an Athens resident and retired educator, reads selections from her new book. 2 p.m. FREE! 706-583-8647 LECTURES & LIT.: The Thirteenth Summer Book Tour (Dog Ear Books) Local author Elizabeth Laing Thompson kicks off her national book tour by giving 13 copies of her teen novel to local students. Live music and refreshments provided for everyone! 3–4:30 p.m. FREE! 706224-4580

Sunday 12 EVENTS: Absolute Crockery! (Carter Gillies Pottery) Featuring work by local potters including Geoff and Lisa Pickett, Jeff Bishoff, Jim Peckham, Julie Greene and Juana Gnecco. Dec. 11 & 12, 10 a.m.–4 p.m. FREE! 706-546-7235 EVENTS: Bethlehem Market Place (Tuckston United Methodist Church) See Dec. 10 Event Listing. Dec. 10 & 11, 7–9 p.m. Dec. 12, 6–8 p.m. FREE! EVENTS: Community Christmas Party (Madison County Library, Danielsville) Enjoy fancy food and drink with live music all day long! Performers include Caroline Aiken and Peter Aland. FREE! madcolib@yahoo.com

EVENTS: Good Dirt Annual Holiday Pottery Sale (Good Dirt) 13th annual sale features functional pottery and ceramic sculpture from a wide selection of studio potters. Dec. 10, 5 p.m.–9 p.m. Dec. 11 & 12, 10 a.m.–5 p.m. www.gooddirt.net EVENTS: Holiday Afternoon Tea (Athens Community Council on Aging, 135 Hoyt St.) Athens Community Council on Aging hosts a tea in celebration of the winter holiday season. Tea, sandwiches and desserts will be served, and Santa Claus will make a special appearance. The Athens Choral Society will provide seasonal music. All ages are encouraged and invited to attend. 4 p.m. (Dec. 11), 2 p.m. (Dec. 12). $15 (children) $20 (adults). 706549-4850. cboozer@accaging.org, www.accaging.org EVENTS: Holiday Pottery and Jewelry Sale (Marmalade Pottery) Group sale featuring pottery and jewelry from artists Maria Dondero, Jorie Berman, Lauren Gallaspy, Allya MacDonald, Stephanie Vogel, Melissa Walter and Crisha Yantis. Dec. 11 & 12, 9 a.m.–5 p.m. FREE! 706-248-6899, www.mariadondero. com EVENTS: Holly-Days On Henderson (Various Locations) Enjoy gourmet fare and holiday entertainment, including a silent auction and raffle, while touring four homes in the Henderson Historic District. The silent auction offers guests the chance to bid on items such as cooking lessons, a stay at the Four Seasons Atlanta, a private wine tasting and more. Proceeds benefit the Athens Clarke Heritage Foundation. 5:30–8:30 p.m. $65 (includes one year ACHF membership). 706-353-1801, www.achfonline. org * EVENTS: “Lighting a Path Through the Holidays” (Piedmont College) Grief counselor Mona Taylor talks about managing grief through the holiday season. Light refreshments and a candlelighting ceremony follow the talk. 4–5 p.m. FREE! 706-475-4900 EVENTS: Renaissance Holiday Fundraiser (Taylor-Grady House) Comely wenches glide by with platters of roast venison as the wine flows all night. Proceeds benefit Rose of Athens Theatre, Nuci’s Space and Athens Land Trust. 6–8:30 p.m. $65. earthsong.cc/renholiday. * EVENTS: Salsa Concert With Grogus (ACC Library) An afternoon of salsa with the local band Grogus. 2:30 p.m. FREE! 706-613-3650 ART: Opening Reception (Visionary Growth Gallery, Danielsville) “Psycollagraphica” features photography and collage by artists J. Phillip White, John Santerineross, Alexei Gural and Jilliam Guarco. Live musical performances by Andy Gonzales and Driftwood. 2–5 p.m. FREE! www.visgrow.com PERFORMANCE: Athens Flute Choir (Central Baptist Church) The group presents their 2nd Annual Holiday Concert. 7:30 p.m. FREE! Donations welcome. 706-353-7400 PERFORMANCE: Athens Symphony Christmas Concert (The Classic Center) Holiday concert featuring the Athens Symphony and the Athens Symphony Chorus. Dec. 11, 8 p.m. Dec. 12, 3 p.m. FREE! www.classiccenter.com * THEATRE: Jingle in the City (Morton Theatre) See Dec. 9 Theatre Listing. Dec. 9 & 10, 7:30 p.m. Dec. 11, 2:30 p.m. & 7:30 p.m. Dec. 12, 2:30 p.m. $10. 706-613-3770, www. mortontheatre.com * THEATRE: The Rocky Horror Show (Athens Community Theatre) See Dec. 9 Theatre. Dec. 8, 7 p.m. k continued on next page

Eat. Drink. Listen Closely. TUESDAY, DECEMBER 7 Terrapin Bluegrass Series featuring

NORTH GEORGIA BLUEGRASS BAND

$3 admission • $2 Terrapin Pints All Night!

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 9

HALF DOZEN BRASS BAND Tickets $6 adv . •$8 at the door

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 10

ABBEY ROAD LIVE! Tickets $10 adv. • $12 at the door

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 11

THE RATTLERS CD RELEASE PARTY

Tickets $8 adv. • $10 at the door

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 14 Terrapin Bluegrass Series featuring

3 BUCKS SHY

$3 admission • $2 Terrapin Pints All Night!

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 16 Nomad Artists presents Ladies of Country Music featuring

ERICA SUNSHINE LEE, RACHEL FARLEY, JESSICA CAYNE URICK and BETSY FRANCK Tickets $5 adv. • $7 at the door

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 17

RACK OF SPAM

Tickets $10 adv. • $13 at the door

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 19 Camp Amped Scholarship Holiday Jam featuring

ATHENS BAND, THE SECOND SUNS, PLOTT, SHAMUS AND THE TATOR TOTS, BROKEN DOORS $5 Admission • Music starts at 7pm

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 26 Nomad Artists presents

RANDALL BRAMBLETT BAND

Tickets $12 adv. • $18 at the door

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 28 Terrapin Bluegrass Series featuring

BORDERHOP TRIO $3 admission • $2 Terrapin Pints All Night!

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 31

A Totally 80s New Year’s Eve featuring

THE HIGHBALLS

$24.50 General Admission • Hotel and Dinner packages available by calling 706.549.7020

COMING SOON 1/8 - SWINGIN’ MEDALLIONS 1/14 - THE GHOST OF A SABER TOOTH TIGER (Sean Lennon & Charlotte Kemp Muhl) 1/18 - DAVID MAYFIELD PARADE 1/21 - MOTHER’S FINEST 1/27 - TERRY ADAMS (from NRBQ) ROCK AND ROLL QUARTET 1/29 - DAVE BARNES LOCATED ON THE GROUNDS OF 3/10 - COLIN HAY Solo Show

295 E. DOUGHERTY ST., ATHENS, GA

706.254.6909

WWW.MELTINGPOINTATHENS.COM

FOR TICKETS & SHOWTIMES OR CALL THE BOX OFFICE 706.254.6909

DECEMBER 8, 2010 · FLAGPOLE.COM

THE CALENDAR! (Boybutante benefit $20); Dec. 9 & 11, 8 p.m. Dec.10, 8 p.m. & midnight. Dec.12, 2 p.m. $15–$18. 706-208-8696, www.townandgownplayers.org * LECTURES & LIT.: Belly Button Bliss Book Signing (Full Bloom Center) Celebrate happy birth and hear a selection of birth stories from Belly Button Bliss. 7–9 p.m. FREE! 706-353-3373 LECTURES & LIT.: We Don’t Wear Pajamas at Our House Reading (Borders Books & Music) Book is filled with sentimental and funny quotes from the 4-year-old children Athens Academy teachers Cindy Boerma and Deena Eberhardt have encounted over the past 20 years. 2 p.m. FREE! 706-583-8647 GAMES: Full Contact Trivia (Amici Italian Café) Come test your knowledge for facts! 9 p.m. FREE! 706-353-0000 GAMES: Trivia (Buffalo’s Southwest Café) Weekly Trivia! All students get 10 percent off with I.D. 7 p.m. FREE!

Monday 13 EVENTS: Slow Food Meet and Eat Potluck (Farm 255) Come celebrate the founding of the slow food movement. Bring a dish to share and a healthy appetite. Noon. FREE! 706549-8901 PERFORMANCE: HACKS 2 Stand-Up Comedy (Caledonia Lounge) Featuring perfomances by Andy Sandford, Nate Mitchell, Matt Gilbert, Gordon Lamb, Ed Burmila, Adrian Boyd, John O’Loughlin, Andrew Hollingsworth, Mat Lewis, Luke Fields. 9 p.m. $5 (21+), $7 (18+). www.caledonialounge.com KIDSTUFF: Bedtime Stories (ACC Library) Snuggle in your jammies and listen to bedtime stories. Every Monday. 7 p.m. FREE! 706-6133650 GAMES: 20 Questions with Chris Creech (Transmetropolitan, Downtown) General trivia that includes such topics as science, movies, music and sex! Prizes include $25 and $10 Transmet gift certificates. 9 p.m. FREE! 706-372-3949 GAMES: Beer Pong (Alibi) The classic tournament style game. 9 p.m. FREE! 706-549-1010 GAMES: Ping Pong (Flicker Theatre & Bar) Get your paddle ready for a riveting round of table tennis. 4–8 p.m. FREE! www.myspace.com/ flickerbar GAMES: Poker Night (Jack’s Bar) There’s a new game in town. 7:30 p.m. FREE! 912-604-8560

Sunday, Dec. 12 continued from p. 23

GAMES: Team Trivia (Beef ‘O’ Brady’s) Every Monday night. Bring your friends! 8:30 p.m. FREE! 706850-1916 GAMES: Trivia (Blind Pig Tavern) Think you know it all? 8 p.m. 706548-3442

Tuesday 14 PERFORMANCE: Georgia Children’s Chorus (UGA Hodgson Hall) Conductor Carol Reeves invites you to experience the wonder of Christmas. 7 p.m. $5. www.georgiachildrenschorus.org * THEATRE: Cats (The Classic Center) Andrew Lloyd Webber’s classic musical based on a series of poems about cats. Family-friendly production with magic, mystery and memory. 7:30 p.m. $10–$70. 706357-4444, www.classiccenter.com * KIDSTUFF: Children’s Storytime (ACC Library) For children ages 18 months to 5 years. Tuesdays, 9:30 a.m., Wednesdays, 10:30 a.m. FREE! 706-613-3650 MEETINGS: Sitting Meditation Group (Mind Body Institute) Silent meditation. 12:30 p.m. FREE! 706475-7329 GAMES: Locos Trivia (Locos Grill & Pub) All three Athens locations of Locos Grill and Pub (Westside, Eastside and Harris St.) feature trivia night every Tuesday. 8:30 p.m. FREE! www.locosgrill.com GAMES: Trivia (Alibi) Find out what Visual Audio Trivia is! 8 p.m. FREE! 706-549-1010

Wednesday 15 EVENTS: Bad Movie Night: Feeders 2: Slay Bells (Ciné BarCafé) Paper-mache aliens invade a small town over Christmas, and it’s up to Santa to save the world. 8 p.m. FREE! www.athenscine.com EVENTS: Canine Cocktail Hour (Hotel Indigo, Madison Bar & Bistro Courtyard) Drink and food specials for you and your (well-behaved, non-aggressive, vaccinated) dog! This week: salty dogs and greyhounds. Every Wednesday. 5–7 p.m. www.indigoathens.com EVENTS: Town Hall Meeting on Social Security (YWCO) First installment in the “Voices of the South: How Social Security Affects Rural Populations” educational series. Attendees are invited to share and hear opinions on current Social Security policies and proposed changes. Call to RSVP. 6-8 p.m. FREE! 706-549-4850

FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 8, 2010

KIDSTUFF: Children’s Storytime (ACC Library) For children ages 18 months to 5 years. Tuesdays, 9:30 a.m., Wednesdays, 10:30 a.m. FREE! 706-613-3650 KIDSTUFF: Homeschoolers Chapter Book Review (Madison County Library) Elementary schoolage homeschoolers gather at the library to read a book together and talk about it. Every Wednesday. 2 p.m. FREE! 706-795-5597 KIDSTUFF: Santa’s Workshop (East Athens Community Center) It’s not child labor if it’s fun! Kids ages 3–12 are invited to help Santa with some last-minute chores. Fill in for Santa’s depleted elf workforce and help feed the reindeer, decorate cookies, stuff the stockings and hang the lights! Call to register. 5–6 p.m. FREE! 706-613-3593, www. accleisureservices.com KIDSTUFF: Wildcard Wednesday: Artist Trading Cards (ACC Library) Come make an artist trading card with us and then trade it! Free and open to the first 15 teens, ages 11–18. 4–5 p.m. FREE! 706613-3650 LECTURES & LIT.: A Guide to Employment and Workforce Management (Athens Technical College) Attorneys from Miller & Martin LLC explain several aspects to working with the National Labor Relations Board. Please call to register. Space is limited. 8 a.m.–12 p.m. FREE! 706-369-5763 GAMES: Dart League and Game Night (Alibi) Meet up with other sharp-shooters. FREE! 706-5491010 GAMES: Poker Night (Buffalo’s Southwest Café) Texas Hold ‘Em every Wednesday. 18 and up. Sign in at 6:30 p.m. Dealing begins at 7:30 p.m. FREE! www.interstatepokerclub. com GAMES: Sports Trivia (Beef ‘O’ Brady’s) Every Wednesday. Win house cash and prizes! 8:30 p.m. FREE! 706-850-1916 GAMES: Trivia (Copper Creek Brewing Company) Test your trivia chops for prizes! Every Wednesday. 9 p.m. FREE! 706-546-1102 GAMES: Trivia (Willy’s Mexicana Grill) Test your trivia knowledge for prizes every Wednesday! 8 p.m. FREE! 706-548-1920 * Advance Tickets Available

Down the Line EVENTS: Athens Farmers Market 12/18 (Bishop Park) Buy fresh, locally grown organic produce and locally crafted goods. Every Saturday. 8 a.m.–Noon. FREE! www. athensfarmersmarket.net

Wednesday, December 8

Wishgift, Maximum Busy Muscle, X-Ray Visionaries Go Bar Even with ample anecdotal evidence to the contrary, it’s still a pretty well established fact that jazz players understand the concept of being a Wishgift working musician way more than rock and roll players do. Marc Riordan, drummer in Chicago’s Wishgift, has already been to Athens three times this year with other outfits, in addition to maintaining his heavy schedule of music instruction, improvisation combos and film work. Wishgift, however, is Riordan’s sludgy and progressive Midwest rock band (seriously, for fans of Jesus Lizard, U.S. Maple, etc.) that he shares with guitarist/vocalist Davey Hart (Constellations, Widowers) and bassist John Paul Glover (Slow Horse, Musket). The band’s latest release is the mouth-shuttingly-good Pretty Jenny/Cream Acres single released via Chicago’s eclectic Contraphonic Records. The push-me-pull-you of the bass-heavy tracks is both mesmerizing and somewhat repulsive. It’s music that commands physical reaction. It’s not good-time rock and roll in any deliberate sense, even though it’s probably a damn decent time in a live setting. Mostly what’s attractive is the fact that Wishgift is a trio and the single only has two songs; both phenomena used to be much more common years ago. And that’s kind of the rub here: Is Wishgift attractive because there’s some unresolved nostalgia residing in the ear of the listener or are they just a really good band that has common points of reference? Screw it. No one will ever win that one. Currently the band is recording five songs for an upcoming EP and will record its fulllength debut next year. For now, expect the windows of the Go Bar to rattle pleasingly while you sweat your face off. To preview Wishgift, get over to www.wishgift.bandcamp. com and just try to imagine not perspiring to that. [Gordon Lamb]

EVENTS: Invasive Crafts Program 12/18 (Greenway) Learn why kudzu, privet and honeysuckle aren’t really your friends. Then, make crafts out of specimens harvested from the Greenway! For all ages. Call to register. 10 a.m.–noon. $2. 706613-3615 KIDSTUFF: Nature Trading Post 12/18 (Sandy Creek Nature Center) Personal nature exploration and raising awareness about ecological connections among young collectors. Participants earn points for their collected items (shells, rocks, animal bones, etc.). The points can be banked or used to trade for another object from the Nature Center’s Trading Post. Kids, bring an adult to participate! 11 a.m.–noon. FREE! 706-613-3615 KIDSTUFF: Snowflake Shuffle 12/18 (Rocksprings Park) Holiday dance party for children 12 and under with cookie decorating, red and green face painting, Christmas Bingo and pictures with The Grinch, Santa and Mrs. Claus! 4–6 p.m. $3. 706-613-3603, www.accleisureservices.com

OUTDOORS: Naturalist Walk 12/18 (Sandy Creek Nature Center) Join SCNC staff for a walk around the property. 10–11 a.m. FREE! 706613-3615 PERFORMANCE: A Baroque Christmas 12/18 (UGA Hodgson Hall) The Athens Choral Society performs Bach’s Magnificat and Vivaldi’s Gloria. 7:30 p.m. FREE! www.athenschoralsociety.com KIDSTUFF: Holiday Hullabaloo 12/21 (Parkview Community Center) Join in Parkview’s holiday celebration with cocoa, seasonal crafts, games and a sing-a-long led by the Parkview Songbirds. For children 12 and under. 5–6:30 p.m. $3. 706613-3601 LECTURES & LIT.: Oconee Dems Book Group 12/29 (Five Points Deli & More, Epps Bridge) Community-wide book group hosted by the Oconee County Democrats. This month’s title is Juan Cole’s Engaging the Muslim World. 6 p.m. FREE! patricia.priest@yahoo.com, www.oconeedemocrats.org * Advance Tickets Available

Live Music Tuesday 7 Alibi 9 p.m. FREE! 706-549-1010 KARAOKE With the Singing Cowboy! Caledonia Lounge 9 p.m. FREE! (21+), $2 (18+). www. caledonialounge.com “NEW MUSIC FESTIVAL” Students from the Hugh Hodgson School of Music perform original, avantgarde works: Groove Tangent, Geisterkatzen, Adrian Foster, The Instruments (former UGA composition students) and more! Farm 255 10 p.m. FREE! www.farm255.com AUSTIN DARNELL Ex-Deaf Judges rapper shows us his rootsy side with a set of soulful, acoustic guitar blues. EL HOLLIN This local band plays simple, lo-fi tunes with guitar

and what sounds like a melodica. Featuring members of Werewolves. Flicker Theatre & Bar 11 p.m. $5. www.myspace.com/ flickerbar AL SCORCH AND THE COUNTRY SOUL ENSEMBLE Dipping his toes into old-time, folk, bluegrass and blue-collar punk, Chicago’s Al Scorch and his band mess with both expectations and rigid definitions to satisfying effect. 40 Watt Club “Third Annual Squidmas.” 9:30 p.m. $5. www.40watt.com DOCTOR SQUID Jangly, frenetic rock and roll. For more on Squidmas, see story on p. 19. FLESH AND BLOOD New project featuring former members of Romanenko playing danceable, inyour-face rock and roll. THE WARM FUZZIES Weezerinspired quirky local pop-rock outfit with adorably nerdy tunes. Hendershot’s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. FREE! 1560 Oglethorpe Ave. NO SHAME! Open mic hosted by Rose of Athens Theatre. Highwire Lounge 8–11 p.m. FREE! 706-583-8510 KENOSHA KID Centered around the instru-improv jazz compositions of guitarist Dan Nettles, Kenosha Kid’s music borrows freely from multiple sources and hammers it all into a seamless product glistening with inspiration. The Max Canada 9 p.m. FREE! 706-254-3392 LIZ FAUCETT Singer-songwriter making her Athens debut. LIARS AND LOVERS Local quintent that plays soulful, American rock and roll. SAM SNIPER Local guys Chris Bennett and Andrew Klein play Southern jungle rock. The Melting Point “Terrapin Bluegrass Series.” 7 p.m. $3. www.meltingpointathens.com NORTH GEORGIA BLUEGRASS BAND An eclectic blend of traditional and contemporary acoustic music. New Earth Music Hall 8 p.m. FREE! (21 & up) $2 (under 21). www.newearthmusichall.com POETIC SOUL Mon2 and Buddah host an open-mic for poets, singers and other soulful types. Every Tuesday. “Reading Day Throwdown.” 9 p.m. $5. www.newearthmusichall.com RICH ROCK This DJ spins primarily hip-hop mixes with a party vibe. SAMPLES Ben Samples of duo Fresh2Death spins crunk glitch-hop with bass-heavy remixes. From Denver, CO. SUMILAN Technically proficient musicians playing progressive jam rock. UGA The Dancz Center for New Music 3:30 p.m. (Hugh Hodgson School of Music) “NEW MUSIC FESTIVAL” Students from the Hugh Hodgson School of Music perform original acoustic and electronic works—second show tonight at Caledonia Lounge.

Wednesday 8

Bailey’s American Tavern 9 p.m. FREE! 706-543-7170 TWISTED KARAOKE Songs and drink specials for the ladies.

Farm 255 “Primals Night.” 9 p.m. FREE! www. farm255.com DIAL INDICATORS New local jazz duo featuring Jeremy Roberts on guitar and George Davidson on tenor saxophone. Dial Indicators play standards from the ‘20s through the ‘50s plus original compositions. Flicker Theatre & Bar 8:30 p.m. $5. www.myspace.com/ flickerbar ABANDONMC’S Freestyle, lo-fi hip-hop. NERF SWORD New two-piece rock outfit that “spins epic tales of love and courage in an apocolyptic future and past.” STAY AT HOME DAD Mashing mixes of garage and punk rock. SUBSCRIBER Self-described “rootsy vacuum pop” that borrows elements from garage rock and psych pop. Go Bar 10 p.m. www.myspace.com/gobar MAXIMUM BUSY MUSCLE Local tech-metal trio. WISHGIFT Chicago three-piece playing concise, frenetic music–a mix of Fitz of Depression and King Crimson. See Calendar Pick on p. 24. X-RAY VISIONARIES High-energy guitar and keytar rock with a quirky and melodic pop sensibility akin to They Might Be Giants or Atom and His Package. Hendershot’s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. FREE! 1560 Oglethorpe Ave. DON CHAMBERS This local favorite’s whiskey-soaked bootstomps capture a certain dusty closing-time chic. Rough and tumble vocals scratch and howl over rootsy guitars, banjo and pedal steel. Last Call 9 p.m.–1 a.m. FREE! For more info contact dg2003@yahoo.com SPICY SALSA DANCING Lessons begin at 9 p.m. and dancing starts at 10 p.m. No partner or experience required. The Office Lounge 9:30 p.m. FREE! 706-549-0840 KARAOKE Every Wednesday and Friday with Lynn, the Queen of Karaoke! Rye Bar 10 p.m. FREE! www.myspace.com/ ryebarathens CREATION CO. Brand new band from here in Athens. Terrapin Beer Co. 5:30 p.m. FREE! www.terrapinbeer.com SHALLOW PALACE Riff-heavy, bluesy rock and roll with sheer punk-rock energy.

Thursday 9 Aftermath 6 & 8 p.m. $5. 706-540-7803 SMOOTH JAZZ AFTER WORK PARTY Featuring house band Muzik, with Ron Brown (bass), Darius Carter (keys, drums), Antonio Bennett (sax) and JR (drums) plus special guests. Hosted by DJ Segar. Every Thursday. Alibi 9 p.m. FREE! 706-549-1010 OLD SKOOL DJ Dance party! Borders Books & Music 5:30 p.m. FREE! 706-583-8647 OCONEE COUNTY HIGH SCHOOL CHORUS Singing ensemble holiday carols.

Indulge Yourself Try our new body scrubs, body wraps, the new slimming wraps (lose 6-20 inches in one service!), plus manicures and pedicures.

10% OFF

All Services & Products at The Spa with Student ID

285 W. Washington St. Athens, GA • Call 706-549-7871 for Show Updates

CHEAP DRINK SPECIALS EVERY NIGHT BEFORE 11PM • 18 + UP

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 8

“Rak”

THE 40 WATT BELLYDANCE SHOW

All Ages Show!

doors open at 7pm • show at 7:30pm

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 10

Remember Gift Cards make the perfect gift! Open Daily 8am-8pm • Call 706.425.9700 Located on the grounds of

295 E. DOUGHERTY ST. • www.foundryparkinn.com

Tidings with for Tykes FUTUREBIRDS

NINJA GUN Song Swap with HUNTER MORRIS • NATE NELSON VAUGHAN LAMB • EDDIE WHELAN doors open at 10pm • five dollars with toy Dress SATURDAY, DECEMBER 11 Sexy Tacky!

Athenian Christmas Dance Formal REFLECTIONS

with special guest DJ Z-DOG three dollars or five dollars a pair doors open at 10pm

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 17

40 WATT HOLIDAY PARTY

with FIVE EIGHT • THE ATHENS BAND THE ORKIDS • VICTOR CHARLIE doors open at 8pm

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 18

LIVING THE DREAM:

KARBOMB • BURNS LIKE FIRE THUNDERCHIEF • SO IT GOES CHOpTOp • FREE MOUNTAIN MICHAEL GUTHRIE BAND THE ARCS • LOVE TRACTOR KATHy KIRBO • CHRIS MckAy ThE AThENS BAND RICK FOWLER BAND SETh hENDERShOT BROS MARLER • CURLEy MApLE GABRIELA MEjIAS • SLEEpER yEARS doors open at 7pm

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 31

NYE Party!

MONTREAL yIp DECEIVER doors open at 8pm* All Shows 18 and up • + $2 for Under 21 * Advance Tix Available at Schoolkids Records ** Advance Tix Sold at http://www.40watt.com

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DECEMBER 8, 2010 · FLAGPOLE.COM

Caledonia Lounge 10 p.m. $5 (21+), $7 (18+). www.caledonialounge.com BO BEDINGFIELD Singer and primary songwriter for local band The Wydelles, Bo Bedingfield’s smooth, warm vocals are steeped in all the soul of country music without the twang. ROMPER STOMPERS Southerntinged rock songs written from children’s perspectives. Featuring members of Bloodkin, Barbara Cue and Widespread Panic. Farm 255 10 p.m. FREE! www.farm255.com BUBBLY MOMMY GUN Local experimental pop band that plays idiosyncratic, psychedelic tunes. MOUSER Exuberant garage-pop that experiments with noise jams. TACO LEG Duo from Perth, Australia that plays lo-fi, spare punk songs and cites as influences early K records bands like Beat Happening. TIMMY TUMBLE Tim Schreiber (Dark Meat, The Lickity-Splits) howls over pre-recorded beats, literally tumbling across the floor, enraptured with his garage-rock lust. Hendershot’s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. FREE! 1560 Oglethorpe Ave. MARY SIGALAS Talented local jazz vocalist Mary Sigalas performs with her new classic jazz, swing and blues band. Little Kings Shuffle Club 10 p.m. www.myspace.com/littlekingsshuffleclub BANGRADIO Self-styled slinger of “Athens Euro,” this DJ offers a mix of Eurotrash, dirty South, hip-hop, dubstep, classic rock, rock and pop remixes. DJ KILLACUT Local turntabilist DJ Killacut spins dance tunes branded by his unique style of mixing and scratching. The Max Canada “Happy Hour Show.” 6-9 p.m. FREE! 706-254-3392 GREG & GEORGE Members of riffheavy bluesy rock band Shallow Palace play a stripped down, minimal set. New Earth Music Hall 9 p.m. FREE! www.newearthmusichall. com NEW EARTH XXX-MAS PARTY Dance party! No Where Bar 10 p.m. 706–546–4742 BRAD DOWNS AND THE POOR BASTARD SOULS Local singersongwriter performs roots rock with his all-star band. This is a special Christmas party show before the band hits the road. The Pub at Gameday 9:30 p.m. FREE! 706-353-2831 THE 25TH HOUR BAND Newly relocated to Athens, this band plays a funky mix of psychedelic blues. Roadhouse “Holiday Toy Drive and Low Country Boil.” 9 p.m. FREE! (with toy donation), $2. 706-613-2324 THE DICTATORTOTS Outrageously crude, the longtime Athenian chaos cultivators stomp about and trash the night, as usual, with their beery post-grunge sounds. TODD MCBRIDE AND THE COOLERHEADS Former Dashboard Savior Todd McBride turns out fine rootsy rock and Americana.

Thursday, Dec. 9 continued from p. 25

Rye Bar 10 p.m. FREE! www.myspace.com/ ryebarathens BIRDLIPS D.C. band that recalls Animal Collective’s juxtaposition of folk melody and dance rhythms. Terrapin Beer Co. 5:30 p.m. FREE! www.terrapinbeer.com NOLAN WILSON PROJECT Husband and wife duo who mix comedy into their country music. 283 Bar “Lindsay’s Birthday Bash.” 10 p.m. FREE! 706-208-1283 IMMUZIKATION Celebrated local DJ Alfredo Lapuz, Jr. mashes up highenergy electro and rock. TWIN POWERS DJ Dan Geller (Gold Party, The Agenda) and friends spin late-night glam rock, new wave, Top 40, punk and Britpop. WUOG 90.5FM 5–10 p.m. FREE! www.wuog.org “WUOG CHRISTMAS BREAK LOBBYFEST” Manray and Lazer/ Wulf will perform first in a miniseries of break radio performances on the college radio station. Listen over the air or drop by the station.

Friday 10 The Bad Manor 9 p.m. FREE! (21+), $5 (18+). 706850-8500. DJ FRANKY FINGAZ Scratching and sliding hip-hop. Borders Books & Music 4:30 and 5:30 p.m. FREE! 706-5838647 THE CHOIRS OF EAST JACKSON HIGH Join this High School’s Chorale, Advanced Women’s Chorus, and Freshman Chorus for two holiday performances. Caledonia Lounge 10 p.m. $6 (21+), $8 (18+). www.caledonialounge.com CINEMECHANICA This intensely voluminous local quartet is the aggro math-rock indie outfit that doesn’t know it’s a metal band. Or perhaps vice versa. CO CO RI CO Angular, guitar-driven rock that melodically meanders through post-rock soundscapes featuring technical drums, wandering bass and glockenspiel. SO MANY DYNAMOS Driving, innovative rock that has earned its share of comparisons to Q and Not U and Les Savy Fav. Farm 255 11 p.m. FREE! www.farm255.com THE DREAM SCENE Javier Morales’ lo-fi avant-garde rock project. Playing a special Christmas show tonight and celebrating the re-release of The Dream Scene Christmas album with two new bonus tracks! QUIET HOOVES High-energy, idiosyncratic pop that’s loose and full of fun. See story on p. 17. Flicker Theatre & Bar 8:30 p.m. $5. www.myspace.com/ flickerbar MARY SIGALAS Talented local jazz vocalist Mary Sigalas performs with her new classic jazz, swing and blues band. 40 Watt Club “3rd Annual Tidings for Tikes.” 10 p.m. $5 (with toy donation), $7. www.40watt.com FUTUREBIRDS Local folk-rock band with a tattered, raspy edge and sweet harmonies.

FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 8, 2010

NINJA GUN Full-on pop that recalls heavier, early Wilco and the best of ‘90s alternative with big vocals on the choruses and the most powerful of power chords. SONG SWAP Hunter Morris, Nate Nelson, Vaughan Lamb and Eddie Whelan take turns playing each other’s tunes! Gnat’s Landing 6:30 p.m. FREE! 706-850-5858 MILLIGAN Acoustic duo performing a set of cover songs from CSNY to Johnny Cash to Jack Johnson to Maroon 5, this band reworks both classic rockers and more recent hits. Go Bar 10 p.m. www.myspace.com/gobar BABY BABY This power trio can be described simply as “fun-rock.” Look for its debut album, Drinking, Drama, Dance. DJ Z-DOG Zack “Z-Dog” Hosey spins dance classics, punk, ‘80s and more. IMMUZIKATION Celebrated local DJ Alfredo Lapuz, Jr. mashes up highenergy electro and rock. SUNSPOTS Bedroom psych-pop with tropical beats and airy vocals. Hendershot’s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. FREE! 1560 Oglethorpe Ave. JUSTIN EVANS Local musician with a rich, deep voice who sings about hard drinkin’, fast women and country roads. Evans incorporates elements of old-time fiddle, New Orleans jazz, blues and Americana. Highwire 8 -11 p.m. FREE! 706-583-8510 RAND LINES TRIO Pianist Rand Lines performs original compositions with the help of drummer Ben Williams and bassist Mike Beshara. Little Kings Shuffle Club 10 p.m. FREE! www.myspace.com/ littlekingsshuffleclub DR. FRED’S KARAOKE Hosted by karaoke fanatic John “Dr. Fred” Bowers. The Melting Point 9 p.m. $10 (adv.), $12 (door). www. meltingpointathens.com ABBEY ROAD LIVE! Here come the sun kings! The local cover band delivers a start-to-finish performance of The Beatles’ Abbey Road and tosses in other high-energy, later-era Beatles rockers. Winner of the 2010 Flagpole Athens Music Award for best cover band. New Earth Music Hall 9 p.m. $10. www.newearthmusichall. com CHARLIE P Dubstep artist from Atlanta. SAMPLES Ben Samples of duo Fresh2Death spins crunk glitch-hop with bass-heavy remixes. From Denver, CO. SAVOY Heavily electronic music with a strong, irresistible groovy dance beat. The Office Lounge 8:30 p.m. FREE! 706-546-0840 THE UNFORGIVEN Expect bluesy tunes from this Atlanta-based fourpiece. Rye Bar 10 p.m. FREE! www.myspace.com/ ryebarathens THE HYPSYS Prog-rock jam band from Tuscaloosa. Terrapin Beer Co. 5:30 p.m. FREE! www.terrapinbeer.com DON AUBER Local balladeer whose weary acoustic tales speak of outcasts, drifters and Appalachian lullabies.

Saturday, December 11

The Nice Machine Hendershot’s Coffee Any successful executive will tell you that it’s important to put your best foot forward. That’s the kind of high-efficiency attitude demonstrated by instrumental trio The Nice Machine. When we asked guitarist Chris Vanderford how he’d rate his vocal skills and those of his bandmates, one to 10, he answered, “I’d say five or below for all of us. Actually, Steve [Abercrombie], our bass player, he can sing. He’s probably a seven, maybe. Eric [McDowell, drums] is a three. I’m maybe a four and a half.” By jettisoning the human voice altogether, The Nice Machine puts its quirky take on surf rock at the forefront. A spiritual cousin to both Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet and Ween, the band transplanted to Athens from Greenwood, SC a few years ago. The group came to Athens via its old friend Rorshak, the one-man hip-hop horror show perhaps best known as one quarter of the now sadly broken up Deaf Judges. ‘Shak has been a longtime supporter of The Nice Machine, putting out all four of its releases on his Emerald City Ruins label. He also mastered The Nice Machine’s latest, Terrordactyl Face, and fully collaborated with the band on its first release of 2010, TV Dinners. Explains Vanderford: “We gave him a bunch of stuff that we’d recorded, because we always have parts just floating around. I had all this stuff on my computer, so I just gave it all to him to see what he could do with it, and he ended up with a 40-minute album—which is a really long album for us; most of them are 20 minutes or less. And it sounds pretty good.” This show at Hendershot’s will commemorate the release of Terrordactyl Face, the cleanest-yet offering from The Nice Machine. The album features plenty of the band’s signature bite-sized mini-songs that use surf rock as a basic template and take off into all manners of direction, throwing everything but the kitchen sink at the listener— everything but the kitchen sink and vocals. [Jeff Tobias]

This-Way-Out (T-W-O) 7-10 p.m. FREE! 680 W. Broad St. EMILY ARMOND The singer/songwriter behind Sea of Dogs performs her heartfelt folk ballads solo over banjo and guitar. KATE MORISSEY Best known throughout this corridor for her dark velvet voice that stands on its own, Morrissey’s songwriting is literate and sincere, and her conversational live shows come punctuated with an offbeat sense of humor. Wayfarer Music Hall 8 p.m. $7. 114 N. Broad St. Monroe, GA. DONNA HOPKINS Blues songwriter boasting a soulful voice and diverse, rootsy backup band. RALPH RODDENBERRY Traditional country music with a pleasing honkytonk swagger accentuated by the singer’s raspy voice.

Saturday 11 Alibi 9 p.m. FREE! 706-549-1010 KARAOKE With the Singing Cowboy!

and Jennifer Cornelius Snipes, winner of the Athens’ Got Talent Competition will be singing favorites from the ‘50s and ‘60s during the Barbara Cornelius book signing. Caledonia Lounge 10 p.m. $5 (21+), $7 (18+). www.caledonialounge.com DIERZ EVE Pre-heat your bass drum to 160 bpm and turn up the distortion pedals for this local three-piece metal act. KILL THE SCHOOL Local metal four-piece. MANGER Punk rock four-piece with screaming guitars and vocals. STYGIAN APOTHEGM Local fourpiece that creates heavy-ass stonermetal in leather pants, drawing on bands like Pantera and Opeth. Farm 255 11 p.m. FREE! www.farm255.com THE WELFARE LINERS Bluegrass band with upright bass, banjo, mandolin, guitar and fiddle, featuring the founder of Ghostmeat Records and members of 6 String Drag, The Burning Angels and The F-Holes.

The Bad Manor 9 p.m. FREE! (21+), $5 (18+). 706850-8500. DJ RX DJ-remixer Brian Gonzalez delivers original mixes of mainly current pop with forays into rock, old school, country and electronica.

Flicker Theatre & Bar 9 p.m. FREE! www.myspace.com/ flickerbar GLASGOW Brainchild of Sam and Jack Craft. A tightly orchestrated set of prog-pop. HANS DARKBOLT Local band performing fiercely melodic pop tunes with swelling vocals and eerie harmonies. THE RIVERMEN Lewd Christmas songs from the hosts of tonight’s “SexxXmas Party.” VINYL VANILLA New local electronic rock duo influenced by electropop and folk.

Borders Books & Music 2:30 p.m. FREE! 706-583-8647 LARRY CORNELIUS AND JENNIFER CORNELIUS SNIPES Larry Cornelius (“Johnny Crash”)

40 Watt Club 10 p.m. $10 (per couple). www.40watt. com TOWNIE WINTER FORMAL Bring your roommate’s ex. With DJ sets by

Athens Farmers’ Market 10 a.m.–12 p.m. FREE! www.athensfarmersmarket.net KYSHONA ARMSTRONG This local songwriter plays smooth, funky rock that’s good for the soul. See story on p. 18.

Charles-Ryan Barber

THE CALENDAR!

Reflections (Z-Dog, Nate Nelson, Vaughan Lamb) and special guests. “Sexy-tacky” clothing is recommended. Gnat’s Landing 6:30 p.m. FREE! 706-850-5858 STEVE SHIVER Jazz rock trio from Watkinsville, GA citing John Mayer and Gordon Lightfoot as some of their influences. Go Bar “Go Bar and Team Clermont Christmas Party!” 9:30 p.m. www.myspace. com/gobar DJ URBN TRBN Putting the desi in desire, DJ Shil Patel selects subcontinental dance from goldenage Bollywood blowouts. Tonight’s sets will feature classic Bollywood dance songs, New Jack Swing, ‘80s and ‘90s hip-hop and “anything else fun.” THE GOLD PARTY Performing a set of spot-on new wave, Britpop and ‘80s covers! Grab a free copy of the band’s new EP tonight. SPRING TIGERS Led by British expat Kris Barratt, this Athens-based band offers angular, edgy pop and an energetic live show. Recommended for fans of Blur or XTC. Tonight the band debuts its new drummer, Brad Elliott. TWIN POWERS DJ Dan Geller (Gold Party, The Agenda) and friends spin late-night glam rock, new wave, Top 40, punk and Britpop. Hendershot’s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. FREE! 1560 Oglethorpe Ave. THE NICE MACHINE Instrumental rock with surf undertones. CD release tonight! See Calendar Pick on p. 26. Highwire 9 p.m. FREE! 706-543-8997 DUSTY LIGHTSWITCH Quirky, highenergy local band featuring bluesinfluenced rock.

Little Kings Shuffle Club 10 p.m. $5. www.myspace.com/littlekingsshuffleclub 90 ACRE FARM This local sevenpiece emphasizes vocal harmonies and lyrical imagery with its soulful, folk-roots Americana. Recommended for fans of John Hiatt and Steve Earle. HONEY BLUE Good-natured and mellow country-rock from St. Simons with rough vocals and nostalgic lyrics.

Rye Bar 10 p.m. FREE! www.myspace.com/ ryebarathens E. R. E. Reggae returns to Athens. Tonight’s show features the group’s original bassist.

Hendershot’s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. FREE! 1560 Oglethorpe Ave. OPEN MIC FACE OFF Hosted by local songstress Kyshona Armstrong. See story on p. 18.

Terrapin Beer Co. 5 p.m. www.terrapinbeer.com VERNACULUS DUET Instrumental, Latin folk and contempory music played on violin, classical guitar and mandolin.

Locos Grill & Pub “21st Annual Benefit Show for The Boys and Girls Club of America.” 9 p.m. A $10 donation at the door is requested. Barnett Shoals Rd. 706208-0911 REDNECK GREECE Local artist sings swingin’ hillbilly honky tonk about “folks that grew up on the wrong side of the tracks” with both an earnest conviction and a biting sense of humor.

283 Bar 10 p.m. FREE! 706-208-1283 IMMUZIKATION Celebrated local DJ Alfredo Lapuz, Jr. mashes up highenergy electro and rock.

Little Kings Shuffle Club “The Christmas Hoot.” 7-9 p.m. FREE! www.myspace.com/littlekings CHRISTMAS CAROL SINGALONG WITH TOMMY JORDAN Tommy passes out the words and takes requests so you can pick the music and sing along! This is Athens’ only community Christmas caroling, so enjoy. LOKSHEN KUGEL KLEZMER BAND A local seven-piece Klezmer band specializing in Jewish and Gypsy music. Featuring Dan Horowitz of Five Eight. THE SOLSTICE SISTERS Threepart vocal harmonies from Maggie Hunter (host of WUGA’s “Just Folks”), Susan Staley (who organizes the monthly Hoot) and Anna Durden. Performing a variety of oldtime country ballads, ‘40s swing and traditional folk. These gals will make you feel good.

The Melting Point 9 p.m. $8 (adv.), $10 (door). www. meltingpointathens.com THE RATTLERS Athens’ own energetic Southern rockers with a guitardriven sound and an exciting show that often features surprise special guests. Celebrating the release of their new album, Welcome Back to Georgia. RICK FOWLER BAND Local guitarist Rick Fowler (Lonely White Boys, Ralph Roddenbery, etc.) specializes in a classic sort of British blues rock. New Earth Music Hall 9 p.m. $5. www.newearthmusichall. com BANGRADIO Late night dance party after the live music! Self-styled slinger of “Athens Euro,” this DJ offers a mix of Eurotrash, dirty South, hip-hop, dubstep, classic rock, rock and pop remixes. THE CASTE Danceable and jangly pop rock with a style similar to The Strokes or Wolf Parade. VENICE IS SINKING With boy/girl vocals, a cinematic jangle and a sweeping, emotional punch courtesy of a viola, Venice Is Sinking’s pianobased torch songs burn the night bright. The Office Lounge 9:30 p.m. $5. 706-546-0840 SOUTHERN SOUL Lively rock, funk and new covers plus originals. The Rialto Room 8 p.m. $15. 706-363-8616 SONGWRITERS IN THE ROUND Performances from Mike Dekle, Rachel Farley, Tony Haselden, and Rod Creagh.

Sunday 12 Farm 255 10 p.m. FREE! www.farm255.com ATHENS SUPER STARS “Surprise guests! Surpise sounds! Surprise!” You got it. LOS NATURALES This NC group’s bandcamp tags read as follows: “garage noise punk rock Chapel Hill,” which just about sums up their blistered, fuzzy, tarheel-like kind of sound. VEELEE Minimalist duo from Carrboro, NC that plays sparse tunes that are sometimes jagged, sometimes bouncy, but always creative. Square One Fish Co. “Jazz Brunch.” 12:30–3:30 p.m. FREE! www.squareonefishco.com CARLTON OWENS TRIO Drummer Carlton Owens, bass player Chris Enghauser and pianist Rand Lines play a three-hour set of music on the patio every Sunday for brunch at Square One. WUOG 90.5FM 4–9 p.m. FREE! www.wuog.org “WUOG CHRISTMAS BREAK LOBBYFEST” Flash to Bang Time and The Shrinks will perform on the college radion station’s mini-series of break radio performances. Listen over the air or drop by the station to watch!

Monday 13 Alibi 9 p.m. FREE! 706-549-1010 KARAOKE With the Singing Cowboy! Dog Ear Books 8 p.m. 706-818-0976 GOODBYE BLUE MONDAY OPEN MIC Open mic for singer-songwriters. Cash prize for the night’s best act, as decided by the audience’s votes.

Rye Bar 10 p.m. FREE! www.myspace.com/ ryebarathens ERIC SOMMER Upbeat songs that showcase the D.C. guitarist’s proficiency in slide guitar and Travis picking. Ten Pins Tavern 8:30 p.m. FREE! 706-540-1831 OPEN MIC Tom Eisenbraun hosts a weekly open mic featuring drink specials and half-priced fried okra for all performers. WUOG 90.5FM 5–10 p.m. FREE! www.wuog.org “WUOG CHRISTMAS BREAK LOBBYFEST” Rabbit Ears and The Knockouts will perform on the college radion station’s mini-series of break radio performances. Listen over the air or drop by the station to watch!

Tuesday 14 Alibi 9 p.m. FREE! 706-549-1010 KARAOKE With the Singing Cowboy, pardner! Caledonia Lounge 10 p.m. $5 (21+), $7 (18+). www.caledonialounge.com SCOTT LOW AND MARK CUNNINGHAM Locals Scott Low of Efren and Mark Cunningham of Burning Angels team up for an evening of Americana.

Flicker Theatre & Bar 8:30 p.m. $5. www.myspace.com/ flickerbar JUSTIN EVANS Local musician with a rich, deep voice who sings about hard drinkin’, fast women and country roads (or is it fast drinkin’ and hard women?). Evans incorporates elements of old-time fiddle, New Orleans jazz, blues and Americana. JEREMY WHEATLEY You may have seen Jeremy Wheatley perform as a member of Tin Cup Prophette, The Low Lows and Je Suis France. His solo shows feature warm, endearing ballads accompanied by guitar. Go Bar 10 p.m. www.myspace.com/gobar EX-HUMANS This New York band features Josh Martin of Atlanta punk band The Carbonas. THE STARTER KITS This local band sounds a bit like a Southern Elvis Costello with a slight punk snarl. Hendershot’s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. FREE! 1560 Oglethorpe Ave. NO SHAME! Open mic hosted by Rose of Athens Theatre. Highwire Lounge 8–11 p.m. FREE! 706-583-8510 KENOSHA KID Centered around the instru-improv jazz compositions of guitarist Dan Nettles, Kenosha Kid’s music borrows freely from multiple sources and hammers it all into a seamless product glistening with inspiration. Little Kings Shuffle Club 10 p.m. www.myspace.com/littlekingsshuffleclub AMERICAN CHEESEBURGER Athens four-piece that boasts former members of No!, Divorce and Carrie Nations, delivering rapid-fire, loud and aggressive old-school thrash rock. Fronted by Jeff Rapier (ex-The Dumps). CANADIAN RIFLE Punk rock trio from Chicago who recently recorded a split 7” with American Cheeseburger. DJS RANDY AND LOZO Spinning punk rock! HOT BREATH Thrash trio featuring members of experimental local acts Garbage Island and S.V.A. The Max Canada 10 p.m. FREE! 706-254-3392 MISFORTUNE500 Moody and melodic local band with soaring anthemic moments and all of it influenced by post-punk and ‘80s new wave. THE RESTORATION Orchestral pop music from Lexington, SC with prominent, earnest vocals setting off string arrangements.

The Melting Point “Terrapin Bluegrass Series.” 7 p.m. $3. www.meltingpointathens.com 3 BUCKS SHY This ensemble plays “bluegrass PLUS.” That is, bluegrass “plus any music we dadburn feel like playing.” New Earth Music Hall 8 p.m. FREE! (21 & up) $2 (under 21). www.newearthmusichall.com POETIC SOUL Mon2 and Buddah host an open-mic for poets, singers and other soulful types. Every Tuesday. Rye Bar 10 p.m. FREE! www.myspace.com/ ryebarathens GHETTO MEZRAB Local experimental jazz jams with an extra dose of funk. WUOG 90.5FM 5–10 p.m. FREE! www.wuog.org “WUOG CHRISTMAS BREAK LOBBYFEST” Dead Dog, Lexie, Gnarx and Cold Ones will perform on the college radion station’s miniseries of break radio performances. Listen over the air or drop by the station to watch!

Wednesday 15 Caledonia Lounge 10 p.m. $5 (21+), $7 (18+). www.caledonialounge.com ENTROPIC CONSTANT Lo-fi dischordance and sprightly melodies from near Athens with some constant clanging thrown in. TEALVOX Alternative rock band with a hint of classic British rock. WITNESS THE APOTHEOSIS Athens-based darkwave-industrial duo blending dark vocals and moving cello with hard-hitting electronic music. Farm 255 “Primals Night.” 9 p.m. FREE! www. farm255.com JAKE MOWRER QUARTET Classic and contemporary jazz originals and rarely heard “standards.” Flicker Theatre & Bar 8:30 p.m. $5. www.myspace.com/ flickerbar JESS MARSTON Singer/guitarist from local rock band Romanenko. DAVID ZACHARY No info available. Go Bar “Candice’s Ke$ha-themed Going Away Party!” 10 p.m. www.myspace.com/ gobar TWIN POWERS DJ Dan Geller (Gold Party, The Agenda) and friends spin late-night glam rock, new wave, Top 40, punk and Britpop.

Hendershot’s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. FREE! 1560 Oglethorpe Ave. CARL LINDBERG Jazz bassist Carl Lindberg (Grogus, Squat, Kenosha Kid, etc.) performs standards, originals and some surprising tunes from divergent styles. Last Call 9 p.m.–1 a.m. FREE! For more info contact dg2003@yahoo.com SPICY SALSA DANCING Lessons begin at 9 p.m. and dancing starts at 10 p.m. No partner or experience required. The Office Lounge 9:30 p.m. FREE! 706-549-0840 KARAOKE Every Wednesday and Friday with Lynn, the Queen of Karaoke! Rye Bar 10 p.m. FREE! www.myspace.com/ ryebarathens MAX EVE Lawrenceville act whose songs consist of ambient, cinematic tones. Terrapin Beer Co. 5:30 p.m. FREE! www.terrapinbeer.com JAKE WADDELL No info available. * Advance Tickets Available

Down the Line 12/16 The Bros. Marler / Matt Indigo / Love Tractor (Caledonia Lounge) 12/16 Dead Gaze / Dent May / Flight (Farm 255) 12/16 Dave D’Angelo Quartet (Hendershot’s Coffee Bar) 12/16 WildKard (New Earth Music Hall) 12/16 Jet W. Lee / Thieves Market (Rye Bar) 12/16 Pholksinger Josh (Terrapin Beer Co.) 12/16 Nomad Artists Presents: Ladies Of Country Music (The Melting Point) 12/17 The Athens Band / Five Eight / The Orkids / Victor Charlie (40 Watt Club) 12/17 The Solstice Sisters (Borders Books & Music) 12/17 Save Grand Canyon / Taste Like Good (Caledonia Lounge) 12/17 The Woodgrains (Farm 255) 12/17 Ruby Kendrick / Thayer Sarrano (Flicker Theatre & Bar) 12/17 Heather Lutrell (Hendershot’s Coffee Bar) 12/17 Rand Lines Trio (Highwire) 12/17 Conspirator / Greenhouse Lounge / Two Fresh (New Earth Music Hall) * Advance Tickets Available

DECEMBER 8, 2010 · FLAGPOLE.COM

bulletin board DO SOMETHING; GET INVOLVED! Deadline for getting listed in Bulletin Board and Art Around Town is every THURSDAY at 12 p.m. Email calendar@flagpole.com. Listings are printed based on available space; more listings are online.

ART 2010 Student Art Competition (State Botanical Garden of Georgia) Seeking submissions from Georgia college and high school students 9th grade and above. Deadline to submit is Dec. 10. Call or email Connie Cottingham for more information. 706-5426014, connicot@uga.edu Call for Artists (Hampton Fine Art Gallery) Seeking submissions from artists to participate in the 2011 Grandeur Juried Artists International Exhibition. Go online for a prospectus form. Deadline: Dec. 20, 706-454-2161, www. hamptonfineartgallery.com/files/ Granduerexhibition2011.pdf Call for Submissions (White Tiger Gourmet Food & Chocolates) White Tiger Gourmet is seeking artists for monthly exhibitions in 2011. Please email inquiries to jaseyjones@gmail.com.

CLASSES Adult Wing Chun Kung Fu (Floorspace) Wing Chun is a Chinese system of Kung Fu that specializes in developing dynamic, explosive and street-oriented practical self-defense. Mondays & Tuesdays, 5:45–6:45 p.m. $12 per class, $60 for 6 classes. jare616@gmail.com Adventure Club: Yoga Teacher Training (Rubber Soul Yoga Revolution Studio) Certification program for teachers that includes individual and group instruction in yoga, teaching methodology, philosophy, literature, diet and nutrition, health and activism. Saturdays, 8:30 a.m.–7 p.m. Tuesdays, 6–11 p.m. $180/month.

www.rubbersoulyoga.com/ adventure.html Art Classes (Lyndon House Arts Center) Sign up for winter and spring art classes! Go online for full list of programs. Now registering! 706-613-3623, www.accleisure services.com Athens Vertical Pole Dance Academy (Canopy Studio, 160 Tracy St.) Now registering for classes. 706-347-3708 Beekeeping for Beginners (State Botanical Garden of Georgia) Three-part series on beekeeping basics. Sponsored by the State Botanical Garden. First session Dec. 11. 9 a.m.–12 p.m. $45. 706542-6156 Beginners’ Linoleum Relief Printmaking Workshop (The Loft Art Supplies) Local artist Brian Hitselberger teaches the basics of linoleum relief printing. Preregistration required. Dec. 11, 1–4 p.m. $40. 706-548-5334 Clay Classes (Good Dirt) Weekly “Try Clay” classes ($20/person) introduce participants to the potter’s wheel every Friday from 7–9 p.m. “Family Try Clay” classes show children and adults hand-building methods every Sunday from 2–4 p.m. 706-355-3161, www.gooddirt.net Continuing Education Classes at Athens Tech (Athens Technical College) Go online to learn about opportunities open to all. Call or email to register. 706-369-5763, awhite@athenstech. edu, www.athenstech.edu Continuing Education Classes at UGA (Various Locations) Go online to learn more. www.georgiacenter.uga.edu Contra Dance (Memorial Park) Athens Folk Music & Dance Society offers a free lesson! No experience or partner needed. Dec. 18, 8–10

p.m. $7 (adults) FREE! (under 18) www.athensfolk.org Dance Classes (East Athens Educational Dance Center) Now registering for winter and spring classes for adults, teens and children. Registration ends Jan. 13. 706-6133624, www.accleisureservices.com/ dance Egyptian Bellydance (Floorspace, 160 Tracy St.) Bellydance for any belly! All levels welcome to this fun and exotic class. Tuesdays, 7 p.m. www.floorspace. com English as a Second Language (Pinewoods Hispanic Community Library) Classes every week! Tuesdays and Thursdays, 6:30–8 p.m. FREE! 706-613-3708 Figure Drawing Sessions (Fringe Collective Artistic Studios) Weekly drop-in sessions for artists wishing to draw the human figure. Must be over age 18. Sundays, 2–4 p.m. $8. 706-540-2727, fringecollective@live.com Figure Photography Sessions (Fringe Collective Artistic Studios) Photographers over 18 years of age are invited to this weekly open studio. By appointment only. Sundays, 4–6 p.m. $20. 706-540-2727, fringecollective@ live.com Garden Tree Trimming (State Botanical Garden of Georgia) Learn to make unique ornaments with a garden or nature theme. Dec. 9, 6–8 p.m. $16. 706-542-6156 Genealogy on the Internet (ACC Library) A brief intro to Internet resources for genealogy. Registration required. Dec. 16, 10 a.m.–1 p.m. FREE! 706-613-3650 Gymnastics (Bishop Park) Classes for all ages. 706-613-3589, www. accleisureservices.com/gymnastics. shtml

Tiny wide-eyed kitten has had a short hard life, but she is full of trust, sweetness, and optimism.

ACC ANIMAL CONTROL

399 Beaverdam Rd. • 706-613-3887 The new Athens-Clarke County Cat Shelter is OPEN and they have cats waiting for new homes. Some more patiently than others. The little monkeys kittens below are three outgoing, snuggly sisters. 31484, 31485, 31486

31483 31460

31487

Open every day except Wednesday from 10 a.m. until 4 p.m.

FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 8, 2010

Can you translate Cat Ear Signals? If so, you know this means “take me home and play, play, play with me!” Lively little Tabby kitten is also a talker. Very friendly and mellow fellow loves affection and attention. A slender young fellow, he would be great in a family and he is ok with dogs.

more cats can be seen online at

cats.athenspets.net

Maria Dondero’s ceramic dishes are on display and for sale at Marmalade Pottery through the holidays. Holiday Clay Classes (Good Dirt) Be productive and creative this season with wheel-thrown pottery, slab-building, clay beads or mug making! Complete schedule online. 706-355-3161, www.gooddirt.net Homemade Soap (State Botanical Garden of Georgia) Learn the basics of soap making. Pre-registration required. Dec. 15, 6:30–8:30 p.m. $27. 706-542-6156, www.uga.edu/ botgarden Hoopdance Workshops (Canopy Studio) For adults and highly focused teens. Space is limited; sign-up to reserve a spot. Dec. 12, 4–5 p.m. $15/workshop, 706549-8501, www.canopystudio.com Intermediate Bellydance (Floorspace, 160 Tracy St.) Focus on tribal style and rhythms. Thursdays, 7:45 p.m. www.floorspaceathens. com Introduction to Excel (ACC Library, Education Technology Center) Registration required. Dec. 9, 10 a.m.–11:30 a.m. 706-6133650 Iyengar Yoga (StudiO) Certified Iyengar teacher leads a class focusing on strength, flexibility, stamina and balance. Tuesdays, 6:45–8:15 p.m. $10/class, $56/series. www. athensomtownyoga.com Kids’ Kung Fu (Floorspace) Tuesdays & Thursdays, 3:45–4:45 p.m. jare616@gmail.com, www. floorspaceathens.com Laugh-a-Yoga (Mind Body Institute) Laugh your stress away. First Friday, noon–12:45 p.m. Third Friday, 5:30–6:30 p.m. FREE! 706475-7329, mbiprograms@armc.org Make Your Own Holiday Centerpiece (State Botanical Garden of Georgia) Design your own holiday centerpiece. Dec. 21, 6:30–8:30 p.m. $27. 706-542-6156 Mama-Baby Yoga for Crawlers (Mind Body Institute) For crawlings babes until they begin walking (about 8 months to 18 months age) and their mamas. Every Wednesday. 12:30–1:45 p.m. $60 (6 classes). 706-475-7329, www.armc. org/mbi Martial Arts (Live Oak Martial Arts, 400 C. Commerce Blvd.) Beginner through advanced. With instructor and three-time AAU National Champion Jason Hughes. 706-5480077, www.liveoakmartialarts.com Musikgarten Early Childhood Classes (UGA School of Music) Website for details. Jan. 24–Mar. 7. $70. 706-542-2894, ugacms@uga.edu, www.uga.edu/ ugacms/earlychildhood.html New Horizon Music Classes (UGA School of Music) Beginning band, intermediate band, begin-

ning orchestra and piano classes for adults age 50+. No prior music experience needed! FREE! Call 706542-2894 to register. Pilates Mat Class (StudiO, 675 Pulaski St.) All levels welcome. Mats provided. Wednesdays, 6:45–7:40 p.m. $15. studioinathens.com Prenatal Yoga (Mind Body Institute) For expectant mothers. Every Tuesday. 6:30–8 p.m. $60 (6 classes). 706-475-7329, www.armc. org/mbi Spanish Literacy (Pinewoods Hispanic Community Library) Improving Spanish literacy for adults. Tuesdays, 6–7 p.m. Thursdays, 1–2 p.m. & 6–7 p.m. FREE! 706-613-3708 Striptease 101 (The Hardcore Gym) A prerequisite for Striptease 102. 18 & up. See schedule online. www.bobbisburlesque.webs.com Tech Tips: Amazon.com (Oconee County Library) Learn all the tips and tricks. Dec. 12, 3 p.m. FREE! 706-769-3950 Trapeze Workshop (Canopy Studio) No experience necessary. Wear form-fitting clothing and no jewelry. Call to register. Dec. 12, 1:30–3 p.m. $25. 706-549-8501, info@canopystudio.com Tribal Basics Bellydance (Floorspace, 160 Tracy St.) Bellydance for every belly! Focus on Egyptian style and rhythms. Thursdays, 6:30 p.m. www.floor spaceathens.com UGA Tango Club (UGA Tate Center, Room 311) Evening classes for beginners and advanced students. Thursdays, Beginning 6:10 p.m., Intermediate/Advanced 7:10 p.m.$30 (per semester), $20 (UGA Community). fuad–elhage@yahoo. com Weekly Meditation (Call for location) Wednesdays, 8 p.m.–9 p.m. FREE! athensinsights@gmail.com Women Writing Their Lives (160 Tracy Street) A 12-week course to motivate and inspire women to tell their unique stories. Every Thursday, January–March, 7–8:15 p.m. $50/ month. thektp@gmail.com, holding womanspace.com Women’s Self Defense Classes (American Black Belt Academy) Learn what you can do to protect yourself. Go online or call to register. 706-549-1671, www. americanblackbelt.org Yoga (Active Climbing) First time is free, and all levels are welcome. Tuesdays, 5:30–6:45 p.m. $8/class. 706-354-0038, www.activeclimbing. com Yoga and Art for Kids and Teens (Whole: Mind. Body. Art., 160 Tracy St.) Now offering

mentally, physically and artistically enriching classes for children and teens. Choose from Yoga Sprouts, Recycled Arts, Intro to Drawing and Creative Alterations. Go online for more information and for complete schedule. 706-410-0283, wholemindbodyart.com Yoga Classes (Mind Body Institute) Experienced and highly educated instructors offer a wide variety of basic and specialty classes throughout the day. 706-475-7329, www.armc.org/mbi Zumba at the Garden (State Botanical Garden of Georgia) Latin rhythms and easy-to-follow moves comprise this dynamic fitness program. Wednesdays, 5:30–6:30 p.m. $10/class, $80/session. www.uga. edu/botgarden

HELP OUT! Become a Mentor (Boys and Girls Clubs of Athens) Volunteer one hour per week to make a difference in the life of a child. Training provided. mentor@athensbgca.com, Bigger Vision Athens Raffle (Various Locations) The local shelter is raffling off a Jasmine by Takamine guitar autographed by Widespread Panic on Dec. 18. Tickets are $10; call to purchase. 770-851-2100 BikeAthens Bike Recycling (Chase Street Warehouses) Join BikeAthens volunteers as they clean and repair donated bicylces for local service agencies. Bike repair skills a plus but not necessary. BikeAthens is also seeking donation of used kids and adult bikes in any condition. Sundays (2–4:30 p.m.), Mondays & Wednesdays (6–8:30 p.m.) FREE! www.bikeathens.com Blood Drive (Red Cross Donor Center) Give the gift of life! Call to make an appointment today. 706546-0681, 1-800-RED-CROSS, www.redcrossblood.org Clothing Drive (Dancefx) Donate your gently used clothing to Dancefx. There will be a sale on Jan. 15 with all proceeds benefiting dance projects in Athens. 706-3553078, www.dancefx.org

KIDSTUFF Art Activities (Pinewoods Hispanic Community Library) Every Thursday. 5–6 p.m. FREE! 706613-3708 Athens Jr. Roller Derby (Skate-A-Round USA) Girls ages 7-17 are invited to experience the confidence-building and physical benefits of the sport in this no-

contact league. Sundays, 2–4 p.m. $3 (for speed skate rental). athens juniorrollerderby.formup.com “Georgia Spiders” Youth Climbing Team (Active Climbing) This climbing team gives your child a chance to try to be a “Spider Man.” The first week is free. Every Tuesday & Thursday, 5–6:30 p.m. 706-354-0038, adrian@active climbing.com Holiday Movie Classics Mini Camp (Memorial Park) Spend three days discussing It’s a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street, The Grinch and other holiday classics. Each day will be filled with games, crafts and snacks. The last day involves a trip to the movies to see a current holiday feature! Dec. 20–22, 9 a.m.–3:30 p.m. $45. 706-6133580, www.accleisureservices.com Home School Science (Sandy Creek Nature Center) Sandy Creek Nature Center hosts an interactive learning experience for homeschoolers and their parents this fall. Call to register for these monthly programs about weather, rocks, astronomy and more. Third Fridays through December, 10 a.m.–noon. $2. 706613-3615 Homework Helpers (ACC Library, East Athens Resource Center) UGA students tutor your

child and help them get assignments finished. Open to any child or teen who needs help with homework. Daily, 3:30–5:30 p.m. FREE! 706613-3657, www.clarke.public.lib. ga.us “It’s School Days Again!” (Lay Park) Ages 6 and up are invited to share stories about the school day’s adventures. Weekdays, 4:30–5 p.m. FREE! 706-613-3667 Knee-High Naturalists (Sandy Creek Nature Center) A program of age-appropriate nature exploration, animal encounters, hikes and crafts. For parents and children. Alternating Wednesdays, 3:30–4:30 p.m. $13. 706-613-3515, www.sandycreek naturecenter.com One-to-One Learning Program (Lay Park) UGA volunteers and our librarian are available to help children develop and improve their learning skills. Daily, 3:30–5:30 p.m. FREE! 706613-3667 Storytime in the Park (Rocksprings Neighborhood Center) Stories, dancing, singing, plays, crafts, snacks and musical instruments. For children ages 18 months to 4 years and their guardians. Every second Wednesday through Dec. 8. 10:30 a.m. $2. 706-613-3603, www.accleisureservices.com

ART AROUND TOWN ACC Library (Heritage Gallery, 2025 Baxter St.) Graphic design exhibition of books and research posters accompanying Moon Jung Jang’s research on the transformation of a minor arc or minor arc sector in visual communication. Through December. • Paintings by Kate Windley. Through December. Amici Italian Café (233 E. Clayton St.) Paintings of downtown Athens by Jamie Calkin. Through December. Athens Academy (1281 Spartan Dr.) Group show with paintings by Lamar Wood and Andy Cherewick, plus outdoor metal sculptures from local artist Doug Makemson. Through Dec. 10. Aurum Studio (125 E. Clayton St.) Group show featuring paintings by Gwen Nagel, Scott Pope and Karen Kanemasu and sculptures by Noah Saunders. Through February. Barnes and Noble Café (3650 Atlanta Hwy.) Black and white photography by Trent Sellers. Through Dec. 10. Ciné BarCafé (234 W. Hancock Ave.) “Blackboards and Smokebombs” is the first multi-media group show featuring long-time collaborators and former roommates Lance Bangs, Chris Bilheimer and Dan Donahue. The three artists began a personal and creative relationship in 1994 while living and studying in Athens. Show includes films by Bangs and Donahue, design by Donahue and 175 Polaroids by Bilheimer. Dog Ear Books (162 W. Clayton St.) Paintings by Rhys May and Jacob Wenzka and photography by Anne Yarbrough. Through December. Espresso Royale Caffe (297 E. Broad St.) New oils on paper works from Stuart McCall Libby. Through December. • Oils on paper by Stuart McCall Libby. Through December. Farmington Depot Gallery (1011 Salem Rd., Farmington) Owned and staffed by 16 artists, the gallery exhibits paintings, sculpture, folk art, ceramics, fine furniture and more. Permanent collection artists include Phillip Goulding, Leigh Ellis, Peter Loose, Susan Nees and more. Flicker Theatre & Bar (263 W. Washington St.) New works from Will Hart. Through December. Georgia Center (Hill Atrium) Photojournalist Wingate Downs chronicles a legendary year in UGA football in this pictorial exhibit which will hang through Jan. 7. Good Dirt (510 B Thomas St.) Holiday pottery show featuring work from Rob Sutherland, Al Pellenbergm, Allya Macdonald, Jim Peckham, Blake Anthony and many more. Through December. Hampton Fine Art Gallery (115 E Broad St., Greensboro) Holiday-themed exhibition titled “The Ghosts of Christmas Past.” Through Jan. 10. Hotel Indigo (500 College Ave.) Group show featuring Nash Hogan, Dena Zilber, Charlie Key and Margaret Schreiber.

Wild Intelligence Nature Programs (Orange Twin Conservation Community) Naturebased learning and character development while your child enjoys storytelling, games and curiosity-based adventure on the land. After-school and day-long programs. Mondays, 3:30–6 p.m. & Tuesdays 10 a.m.–2 p.m. tommy@wildintelligence.org Winter Explorers Mini Camp (Sandy Creek Nature Center) Threeday program with nature exploration, crafts and snacks. Ages 4–12. Dec. 21–23. 9:30 a.m.–12:30 p.m. $16. 706-613-3615 ext. 0 Youth Basketball Registration (Various Locations) Sign-ups for recreational basketball league. Registration begins on Nov. 20 at Bishop Park, East Athens Community Center and Lay Park. 706-613-3589, www.acc leisureservices.com/basketball Youth Soccer (Southeast Clarke Park) Now registering for co-ed recreational league for children 4–11 years old. 706-613-3871, www.acc leisureservices.com/soccer Youth Theater Workshop (Various Locations) Innovative, creative after-school theater workshops for ages 6-12. Fun & skills in voice, movement, improvisation and storytelling. Through Dec. 15.

Just Pho…and More (1063 Baxter St.) New work by artist Susan Gill. Through December. Lamar Dodd School of Art (Second Floor, Plaza Gallery & Bridge Gallery) Senior work from undergraduate students. Exit show for Graphic Design Majors. Through Dec. 13. • (Gallery 101, 307 & Orbit Galleries) Senior work from undergraduate students. Exit shows for Photography, Printmaking, Fabric, Jewelry and Metals majors. Through Dec. 13. • (Gallery 307) “Lines of Impulse and Deliberation,” an exhibit featuring drawings by Susan Cofer. Through Dec. 15. Lyndon House Arts Center (293 Hoyt St.) Brush paintings from Chinese artist I-Hsiung Ju, whose unique style seamlessly blends modern and traditional aesthetics. Other brush paintings and caligraphy from Virginia Lloyd-Davies and Egbert Ennulat. Through Jan. 19. • “Floating Fetching Fowling,” paintings, drawings, mixed media and 3D art by Ouida Williams, Nancy Lloyd and Caroline Montague. Through Jan. 19. Mama’s Boy (197 Oak St.) New work by artists Brooke Easler and Tommy Greene. Through Dec. 13. Monroe Art Guild (Main Gallery, Monroe) Exhibit featuring regional quilts. Through Dec. 28. • (Member’s Gallery) New works by Mary Alice Wood. Through Dec. 28. The Point of Art Gallery (604 Sibley Ave., Union Point) “Clay in a Can” is a travelling group show featuring ceramic work in a gallon paint can. Through Dec. 31. • “Tapestry: Life Stories in Paintings” features the work of Laura Connely. Through Dec. 24. Speakeasy (269 E. Broad St.) New paintings by Sarah Nguyen. Through February. Ten Pins Tavern (2451 Jefferson Rd.) Screen prints, etchings, monoprints and drawings from young artist Gregory Stone. Through December. This-Way-Out (T-W-O) (680 W. Broad St.) AHA! (Athens Has Art!) features works by local independent artists including Ainhoa Bilboa Canup, Jennie Evans, John Schweppe, Meghan Morris, Audra Rich and more! Through Dec. 20. Opening reception Dec. 10. Gallery is open daily from 6–8 p.m. Town 220 (Madison) “Aislin’s Bouquet from the Garden of the Fall,” an exhibit of various works inspired by gardens. Featuring more than a dozen local artists, including Greg Benson, Andy Cherewick, Dana Downs, Robert Lowery, Melin Foscue Miller, Masakatsu Nakagawa, Marshall Reddoch and Lamar Wood. Through January. Trace Gallery (160 Tracy St., 2A) “Studio Potters” exhibition and sale featuring a selection of work from some of the area’s best-known potters. Through Jan. 7. Reception Dec. 10. Transmetropolitan (145 E. Clayton St.) New paintings by Sophie Howell. Through December. White Tiger Gourmet Food & Chocolates (217 Hiawasee Ave.) New work from Gainsville artist Scott Begnaugh. Through December.

Mondays at Athens Montessori School, Tuesdays at Waseca Leaning Environment). 3:15 & 4:15 p.m. $120. www.smallhousecreative.com

SUPPORT Alcoholics Anonymous (Athens, GA) If you want to drink, that’s your business. If you want to stop, we can help. 706-543-0436, www.athensaa.com Athens Mothers’ Center (St. Gregory’s Episcopal Church) Parenting is a demanding and important job. Meet with other supportive moms and dads. Tuesdays & Fridays, 9:30–11:30 a.m. 706-5528554, www.athensga.mothercenter. org Emotional Abuse Support Group (Call for location) Demeaning behavior and hateful words can be just as harmful as punches and kicks. Childcare is provided. Call the Project Safe hotline: 706-543-3331. Wednesdays, 6:30–8 p.m. Emotions Anonymous (Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Athens) Informal and supportive 12step program open to anyone with a desire to become well emotionally. Sundays, 4–5 p.m. 706-202-7463, www.emotionsanonymous.org Expressive Writing for People with Chronic Illnesses (Whole: Mind. Body. Art.) A supportive and creative enviroment for those dealing with chronic illness. Using writing as a therapeutic tool, this class aims to help people be able to process and express their feelings about life circumstances. Thursdays, 7:30–8:30 p.m. Gender Mix (UGA Memorial Hall, Room 414) A male and female discussion and support group established to promote unity within interpersonal relationships. Last Monday of every month. 6 p.m. FREE! 706542-8468, cymoon@uga.edu Overeaters Anonymous (Various Locations) 12-step meetings for compulsive eaters. All ages and sizes welcome. Mondays, 5:30 p.m. at Nuçi’s Space. Thursdays, 7 p.m. at St. Gregory’s Episcopal Church. Saturdays, 10:30 a.m. at Princeton United Methodist Church. FREE! 404-771-8971, www.oa.org PTSD Support Group Local support group now forming for family members of soldiers and veterans with post-traumatic stress disorder. 770-725-4527 Sapph.Fire The newly formed social, support and volunteer organization for lesbian and bisexual women of color. Ages 21 & up. Join Sapph. fire on Downelink. Email sapph. fire@yahoo.com to learn about the next meeting. Survive and Revive (Call for location) Domestic violence support group. Dinner begins at 6 p.m. and group at 6:30 p.m. Children are welcome for supper and childcare is provided during group. Second and fourth Tuesday of the month in Clarke County. First and third Monday of the month in Madison County. 6–8 p.m. Project Safe: 706543-3331

please come to our annual

Holiday Sale! Saturday, Dec. 11 9am to 4pm AT THE STUDIO

handmade southern pottery 20% OFF any one item

good through December 2010

450 Georgia Dr. • Athens, GA 706-613-8525 can’t make it to the sale? we are open daily or you can visit us at

www.rwoodstudio.com

ON THE STREET Frankenstein Lives! Rose of Athens Theatre chronicles the life of young gothic novelist Mary Shelley in this performance which explores some uncanny similarities between the artist and her literary creation. The show is available for booking through March. 706-340-9181, www.roseofathens.org f

DECEMBER 8, 2010 · FLAGPOLE.COM

comics

FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 8, 2010

reality check Matters Of The Heart And Loins My wife and I were together for six years. We separated early last year after she basically told me that she wasn’t happy and was not in love with me anymore. We have a four-year-old son, and we have shared custody since we have been apart. Our divorce has not been finalized. In fact, due to financial constraints, we are still in the early stages of getting that taken care of. My wife has been dating, and for a couple of months she had a boyfriend, but he seems to be out of the picture now. (I try not to ask.) I have been dating a woman for the past three months. This woman, whom I will call Jane, has been wonderful for me. Jane and I have actually known each other for years and years. She used to date a good friend of mine way back in the day, and we stayed friends after they broke up. We know each other well, and though we have never dated, we know each other’s dating histories very well. She knows my siblings. She was at my wedding. She has been there for me (and I, her) through a lot of hard times. This was never a romantic thing before, and I was honestly a bit afraid to let it happen because I was afraid of what it would do to our friendship. Anyway, as I said things have been wonderful. But recently my son has been having a difficult time dealing with our impending divorce, and my wife and I have been spending a lot of time together trying to keep him happy and assure him that everything is going to be OK, etc., etc. Recently, my wife expressed a lot of regret that we didn’t try harder to work things out, and she even went as far as to suggest that we try again. I am torn. Of course I would like to save my marriage, and the best thing for my son most likely would be for his parents to stay together, but I have been very, very happy with Jane, and I don’t necessarily want to break it off with her for a second chance with a woman who said she doesn’t love me anymore. I feel like I would be betraying my son if I didn’t, but I am afraid that I will lose Jane as a friend as well as a partner if I give my wife another chance. Can you help me? Daddy First? Do you think your wife would be expressing regret if the boyfriend had actually worked out? What I mean is, do you think she genuinely wants to try again (and is she capable?) or is she just feeling lonely and weird? You didn’t give me any background about why she said she was unhappy and no longer in love, but the way you said it suggests that it came rather out of the blue. If this is the case, what makes you think it might work this time? Have you two gone to counseling? If not, why not? If you think you might actually be able to work it out, and you are sure that working it out is what you want, then yes, you should try. Jane may even be understanding enough to remain your friend or to date you again should the marriage not work out. But if you think your wife might just be a bit lonely or jealous, or if you don’t really want to work it out, then you shouldn’t feel obligated to do it for your son. It might just

be more confusing for him to have you split and then get back together and then split again. Whatever you do, make sure you’re communicating as much as possible with all parties. Good luck. I am 32 years old and single. I was engaged once, 10 years ago when I was young and shy and too polite to say no to a guy who I didn’t love. It was long and sad, and it ended badly, and my parents and friends had no idea how I felt. I honestly think that they thought I was crushed and hysterical that it ended, but what they didn’t know was that I was hysterical at how close I had come to being in a terrible marriage. So, the last 10 years have been spent finding myself, getting another degree, traveling, dating and sleeping with a lot of people who were not worth my time or effort. I think part of that was a reaction to the engagement and part of it was just me being stupid and/ or drunk. Whatever. I don’t have any serious regrets, even though there are plenty of guys I sort of wish I hadn’t slept with. I am now in a better place, I have a better idea of who I am and what I want, and I am (sporadically) dating again. The thing is, my friends and family are always trying to “help” me in that regard, and I don’t want their help. They get very excited when I mention a date, are always asking me if I’m “bringing anyone” to weddings and family gatherings, and if I am alone they very often push any and every single nice and available guy in my direction at these events. These guys are almost never attractive to me, and are never, ever my type, and even if they were, this is not how I would want to meet them. I was seeing this guy for a few months that I met at a party, and he happened to know my sister, and she got really excited when she found out that I went out with him a couple of times. (I swear she thinks I am going to die alone and be eaten by my 15 cats.) Then things just sort of fizzled out (we want different things out of life is the short story), and he has been using her to get to me ever since. She actually tricked me into meeting him by telling me to come and get coffee, and he just “happened” to come by while we were there. I could have killed her. How can I tell my family to stay out of my love life? I know they mean well but they’re driving me crazy and making me feel like a loser. Help! Not a Spinster Yet You need to explain to your family that they aren’t helping. Tell them that they make you feel awkward and you hate their taste in men and that if they don’t stop you’re going to marry the drummer from a jam band just to spite them. Then convince one of your friends to accompany you to the next family gathering with a bongo drum and recite “poetry” out loud at the dinner table while you gush about what a genius he is. If that doesn’t stop them, leave the country. Jyl Inov

CASH FOR YOUR TEXTBOOKS (pretty sweet)

we buy books We’ve been around for more than 25 years. Yes, that long. Turns out, we know what you guys need, like and want—we also know that these things can change every other week. But cash for books is always in style! Come see us at the end of each semester.

we sell books Used textbooks are cheaper than new ones, and they work just the same. You open them up (or don’t) and you read them (or not) and you take the test (or forget to set your alarm.)

we rent books Rent your textbooks and save BIG. It’s simple & easy. Graduate and get a good career. Life can be good with OCBS, we promise.

More than 20 years of helping students save money on textbooks, school supplies and Bulldog wear. Top of Baxter Hill • 548-9376 ocbs.com • dawgwear.net

Got a question for Jyl? Submit our anonymous inquiry via the Reality Check button at www.flagpole.com.

DECEMBER 8, 2010 · FLAGPOLE.COM

classifieds

Buy It, Sell It, Rent It, Use It! Place an ad anytime at flagpole.com  Indicates images available at flagpole.com 1st month free! 2BR/2BA apar tment. Walking distance to Dwntn./ campus. W/D, DW, on busline. Easy access to loop. (706) 548-2522. www. dovetailmanagement.com

Real Estate Apartments for Rent $460/mo. 1 extra lg. BR, walk–in closet, lg. LR, 650 sq. ft. 18–unit complex off Milledge. On–site laundry facilities. (706) 764-6854 or (706) 207-9902.

1BR $499/mo., 2BR $549/ mo., 3BR $699/mo.! Huge apartments located 3 mi. from campus & Dwntn. Pre-leasers will receive 1st mo. free if moving after Jan.! Restrictions apply. On busline and pet friendly. Call us! (706) 549-6254.

1BR/1BA apartment. Great in–town, Boulevard n’hood. Walk everywhere. Water & garbage paid. $490-$525/mo. Check o u t w w w. b o u l e v a rd propertymanagement. com or call (706) 5489797. 1BR apartment for $475/ mo. 2BR apartment starting at $700/mo. 3BR apartment starting at $1000/mo. All close to campus! Howard Proper ties (706) 5460300.

1BR/1BA. All electric. Nice apartment. Water provided. On busline. Single pref’d. Available now! (706) 5434271.

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3BR/2BA gated community. HWflrs, tile, granite, etc. 1st mo. free! Avail. immediately. Amenities galore! $1050/mo. Geoff (706) 206-3560. Owner lic. Ga. RE agent, lic. #302489.

flagpole classifieds Reach Over 30,000 Readers Every Week! Business Services Real Estate Music For Sale

Employment Vehicles Messages Personals

BASIC RATES* Individual Real Estate Business (RTS) Run-‘Til-Sold** Online Only***

$10 per week $14 per week $16 per week $40 per 12 weeks $5 per week

2BR/2BA, W/D, DW. 255 N Harris St. Walking distance to Dwntn. Athens, UGA & bus stop. Avail. 12/28. $650/ month. Contact current tenant at brandyerdmann@yahoo. com or Valerio Properties at valerioteam@aol.com.

Dwntn. apartment, walk to UGA, bus routes. 1BR, electric only util. Water i n c l . F re e p a r k i n g . N o dep. w/ signed lease. Lease from 1/1/11 to 7/31/11. $465/mo. Call (706) 202-0097.

Downtown business w/ 2 parking spots. 250 W B ro a d S t # 1 0 8 , z o n e d C-D, across from UGA. Terms neg. for business. Asking $249K for space. Call Jim Paine, (706) 3727300.

3 room basement apartment in 5 Pts. Quiet N/S. New appliances & carpeting. Utils. & wireless incl. Deposit & references required. $450/mo. Avail. Jan. (706) 613-7307.

Dwntn., 3 blocks from N. Campus. 2BR in historic bldg. Out of noise & bar scene. Avail. Jan. Call George at (706) 3400987.

Eastside offices. 1060 Gaines School Rd. Rent 1200 sq. ft. $1200/ mo., 750 sq. ft. $900/ mo., 450 sq. ft. $600/ mo., 170 sq. ft. $375/ mo. (706) 546-1615 or athenstownproper ties. com.

4BR/2.5BA townhouse off Cedar Shoals. On bus route. Pets welcome. Avail. Dec. 1. Only $1000/mo. Aaron (706) 207-2957. Best deal in town! El Dorado Apartments in Normaltown area. $675/mo. 2BD/1BA, pets allowed w/ deposit. Multiple units avail. Joiner & Associates (706) 549-7371, www.gojoiner.com. Basement apartment. 1BR/1BA, kitchen, living room, private entrance. All utils., cable TV & wifi incl. Avail. Jan 1. N/S pref’d. $550/mo. (706) 340-9547. Dwntn., 1BR/1BA flat, $465/mo. Water, gas, trash pick-up incl. On-site laundry, Jan. 1 move in. Joiner Management, (706) 353-6868. DGH Properties. 1BR Dwntn. Close to everything but out of bar scene. Comfortable historic bldg. Walk to campus. C a l l George at (706) 3400987.

* Ad enhancement prices are viewable at flagpole.com ** Run-‘Til-Sold rates are for MERCHANDISE ONLY *** Available for individual rate categories only

PLACE AN AD • At flagpole.com, pay with credit card or PayPal account • Call our Classifieds Dept. (706) 549-0301 • Email us at class@flagpole.com

Efficiency apartment. 1BR w/ private entrance. On Hill St., utils. incl., 1 mi. to UGA, pets OK, $500/ mo. Call (706) 255-0726. Go to www.flagpole. com to place your Classified Ad today. Studio condos Dwntn. Athens. On Broad St. & a c ro s s t h e s t re e t f ro m campus! $600/mo. + util. Avail. Jan 2011. Call (404) 557-5203. Westside condos, 2BR/2BA, $600/mo. Eastside quadraplex, 2BR/2BA, $500/mo. & 2BR/1BA, $475/mo. Eastside duplex, 2BR/1BA & FP, $475/mo. Eastside basement apartment, 2BR/1BA, W/D, nice yd., $500/mo. Call McWaters Realty, (706) 353-2700 or cell (706) 540-1529.

Commercial Property Athens executive suites. Offices available in historic Dwntn. bldg. w/ on–site parking. All utils., internet & janitorial incl. Single or multiple offices avail. Call Stacy (706) 425-4048 or (706) 296-1863.

JAMESTOWN

CONDOS

FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 8, 2010

All Include Washer/Dryer & Fireplace Pool on-site!

Call Today for Move-In Specials

Hamilton & Associates

706-613-9001 www.athens-ga-rental.com

Hamilton & Associates 706-613-9001

$ 6 0 0 / m o . 2BR/2BA or 3BR/1BA. 115/121 E. C a r v e r D r. F e n c e d – i n yd. Tile & HWflrs. CHAC, W/D hookups, DW. Pets welcome. Avail. now! (706) 614-8335.

Condos for Rent

$690/mo. 3BR for the price of 2! Renovated bungalow 1.2 miles from Arch. Call (706) 2550659. Photos, map & info at www.1596eastbroad. blogspot.com.

2BR/2.5BA condo for re n t b e g i n n i n g 1 / 1 / 1 1 . Appleby Mews Condo complex. Walking distance to UGA campus. Call (912) 246-0682 after noon.

1 7 5 V a l l e y w o o d D r. 4BR/2BA, CHAC, some HWflrs. Deck, sunroom, creek! Fenced yd. Pets OK, no pet fees! Other homes avail. $950/mo. (706) 372-6813.

Duplexes For Rent 135 Christy Ct. 2BR/1BA Eastside location. $450/ mo. Pls. call (706) 5496070. 2BR/1BA duplex on Westside. 171 Nicole C i rc l e . W / D c o n n . F P, CHAC, fenced yd. $425/ mo. & dep. each. (706) 498-4733. 200 Hilltop. 1BR apartment w/ all appliances incl. W/D. Excellent condition. Lg. LR w/ separate BR. $425/mo. Call Carol (706) 540-0472. East Athens. Great 2BR/1BA duplex. On city busline. Fresh paint, W/D, DW, range, fridge, trash & yd. service incl. Pets OK. Avail. now! $550/mo. Call Mike (877) 740-1514 toll free.

Houses for Rent

2BR / 2.5BA Townhomes $650

• Deadline to place ads is 11:00 a.m. every Monday for the following Wednesday issue • All ads must be prepaid • Set up an account to review your placement history or replace old ads at flagpole.com

Retail, bar, or restaurant for lease at Homewood Shopping Center. 3000 sq. ft. Call Bryan Austin at (706) 353-1039.

$850/mo. Great Eastside location. 4BR/1.5BA, lg. kitchen, private deck, W/D, workshop, very good condition, fenced-in yd., 1 car garage, safe & quiet n’hood. 117 Crossbow Cir, Winterville. Av a i l . 2 / 1 / 1 1 . O w n e r / Agent, call Robin (770) 265-6509.

$ 7 7 5 / m o . B l o c k s f ro m UGA & Dwntn. Athens. 3BD/1BA, totally remodeled, tall ceilings, HWflrs., tile, W/D, front porch. 500 Willow St. Avail. 1/1/11. Owner/Agent, call Robin (770) 265-6509.

130 yr. old artist house on the corner of Savannah & Atlanta Ave. 3 brick FPs, HWflrs. 2BR/1BA for $750/ mo. Avail. December. Call (706) 654-6975, (706) 255-7550. 1 lg. BR for rent in newly renovated 5 Pts. home. Close to campus, safe neighborhood, good roomies! $400/mo. + 1/3 utils. Call (678) 4928036. 1BR cottage. 1/4 mi. from campus. 100 yrs. old. HWflrs. Big kitchen. All appls incl. Front/ back porch. No pets, no smokers. $700/mo. Avail. now. (770) 995-6788. 175 Glenwood Ave. 3BR/1.5BA, $700/mo. Close to Milledge Ave. & UGA. Oak floors, W/D, DW, CHAC, deck, fenced yd. hathawayproperties@ gmail.com, (706) 7144486. 2BR secluded country cabin 9 mi. from Dwntn. on 1.5 acres. Large screened front porch. 40s tongue & groove walls. Winterville. $650/ mo. (706) 540-8461.

2, 3 & 4 BR homes avail. in Dwntn. area. Pets welcome. CHAC. Fenced-in yds. W/D incl. Call Lance (706) 7144603. 2BR/2BA perfect Dwntn. location. New. 1 mi. from Arch. Stainless, HWflrs., tile, covered porches. Off-street parking. W/D incl. Avail. fall 2011. $1050/mo. Aaron (706) 207-2957. 2BR/1BA house w/ lg. LR & small fenced-in back yd. 688 Pulaski St. 1/2 mile from Dwntn. $800/mo. + $400 deposit. Call (404) 8248009.

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3BR/1BA in Winterville. HWflrs. Front yd., small screened-in porch, wooded lot. Quiet n’hood. Avail. Jan. 1. Pets OK. $750/mo. Tenant pays utils. (706) 410-5239. 3BR/3BA, best Dwntn. location. New. 1 mi. from Arch. Stainless, HWflrs., tile, covered porches. Off-street parking. W/D incl. Avail. fall 2011. $1500/mo. Aaron (706) 207-2957. 3BR/2.5BA in Milford Hills. Open floor plan, lg. LR, 2 car garage. W/D, lawn maint. & trash incl. Avail. Dec 1. $1100/mo. Aaron (706) 207-2957.

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3BR/1BA newly renovated home. Great location off W. Broad St. HWflrs., new ext. & int. paint. Large porch & deck, $850. (770) 368-8151.

4BR/4.5BA cottage at The Station avail. Jan.! HWflrs., private baths, huge walk-in closets, all appliances incl. Floorplan is a must see! (706) 543-1910. 4BR/4BA awesome Dwntn. location. New. 1 mi. from Arch. Stainless, HWflrs., tile, covered porches. Off-street parking. W/D incl. Avail. fall 2011. $1950/mo. Aaron (706) 207-2957. Best rentals in Athens! 1–5BR houses, apts., condos. In the heart of UGA/ Dwntn./5 Pts. Avail. Aug. Going fast, call today! (706) 3692908 for more info. Eastside: 3BR/2BA, lg. yd., on dead–end street, $1000/mo. 4BR/2BA, lg. yd., $1200/mo. Five Pts.: 3BR/1BA, single carport, $750/mo. Call McWaters Realty, (706) 353-2700, (706) 540-1529. F i r s t m o n t h re n t f re e ! Adorable 2BR/2.5BA twostory house. Large BRs, each w/ seperate study nook. 1 mi. from Dwntn. $900/mo. Avail. now. Call (706) 599-2482.

Great 2BR house. Front & back porches. West-side. HWflrs., lg. updated kitchen. W/D. 150oldclevelandroad. wordpress.com. Dec. free! $690/mo. (770) 833-7307. Private cottage 10-15 minutes to campus, 2BR/1BA, CHAC, W/D, big screen porch, large organic garden space w/ conditioned soil, good well. $650/mo. (706) 540-4022, lwnow1@windstream.net. Pre-leasing houses for UGA students. 7BR, 6BR, 5BR, 4BR, 3BR, 2BR, 1BR. Close to UGA & Dwntn. Lowest rent. hathawaypropertiesathens. com. (706) 714-4486.

Houses for Sale $160K, 3BR/2BA, close to GA Square Mall, 3-16 & loop. All appliances incl. W/D, DW, HWflrs, 2 car garage, Andersen windows, built-in alar m & auto watering system. Quiet neighborhood. Clarke Co. Contact Bowen Craig (706) 543-0692. 3BR/1BA remodeled house as is. 1.5 acres. 3 mi. from Rayle. Dining room, lg living room & BA, laundr y room, carpor t. $56,000 negot. (706) 2964257. Advertise your seasonal business! Firewood, Christmas trees & other holiday decor! Let our readers know how to contact you!Call (706) 549-0301. To w n h o m e l o c a t e d o n river near city park for sale. 2BR/2.5BA, HWflrs, central HVAC, dishwasher, W/D, private deck, much more. Motivated seller. Call Matt at (706) 2489088.

Roommates Share 3BR/2BA house on Eastside 3.5 mi. to UGA. W/D, FP, DW. Room can be furnished or empty. $300 + 1/3 utils. Laid-back but clean roommates. No pets. (706) 202-4837.

Rooms for Rent $330/mo. 1BR in 4BR house. 5 Pts. on Milledge. On bus line, less than 1 mi. from campus. If interested, e-mail georgiapeach86@hotmail. com. Avail. Jan. 1. Huge room in laid-back historic Cobbham house. High ceilings, HWflrs., porch, HVAC, W/D. Share kitchen & BA w/ 2 others. Utils. split 5 ways. Walk to town. No pets, 6 mo. lease, deposit. F graduate or professional preferred. (706) 424-0901.

Dashiell Cottages Inc. Move–in $85/wk.! (706) 8500491. All amenities, WiFi. Enjoy our river community, 5 blocks to UGA. Enjoy the wildlife observation. Looking for responsible roommate to share 2BR/2BA house. 1/2 mi. to Dwntn./campus. New BAs & kitchen, office, wifi, W/D. $385/mo. + utils. Call Tony (478) 397-4696. Seeking reasonably neat, N/S, responsible, mature housemate. 1BR in beautiful 3BR/3.5BA house, awesome location, quiet n’hood blocks from Dwntn. & campus. Pulaski St./ Prince Ave. $475/mo. rent, 1/3 utils. Pets negotiable. Call Heather (717) 6664712.

Sub-lease $475/mo. 1BR/1BA. Cute house for long-term sublease avail. now! You can renew the lease in April. Super close to Dwntn. Pets welcome. Call (336) 460-1297.

For Sale Antiques Antiques & jewels Christmas sale! Antique furniture, estate jewelry, fine oil paintings, Persian rugs, silver, china, stain glass & more. Open 11-6 daily except Sun. & Mon. by chance or appointment. (706) 3403717. 290 N. Milledge Ave. Athens. Antiquesjewels.com.

Furniture

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All new pillow-top mattress set, $139. Sofa & love-seat, $399. 5-piece cherry finish bedroom set, $399. (706) 612-8004. Pillowtop queen mattress set. Never used. Still in factory plastic. $260. (706) 769-1959. Delivery avail.

Miscellaneous Awesome gourmet coffee, the perfect holiday gift! Farm Direct Certified Organic 100% Kona. Compare M o o n s t r u c k ’s o r g a n i c pound - $25 - to Whole Foods’ conventional p o u n d $ 5 0 . moonstruckorganics. com, (808) 328-0707 (AAN CAN). Go to Agora! Cool & a f f o r d a b l e ! Yo u r favorite everything store, specializing in re t ro g o o d s , a n t i q u e s , furniture, clothes, records & players plus m o r e ! 2 6 0 W. C l a y t o n St., (706) 316-0130.

Pets Boulevard Animal Hospital, 298 Prince Ave. Across from Bottleworks. December special: 25% off exams w/ donation of canned food for homeless. Come by for a visit! www. downtownathensvet.com. (706) 425-5099.

Yard Sales Better than Ebay! Sell your goods locally w/ out the shipping fees! Place your ads in Flagpole Classifieds. Awesome run–til–sold rate! 12 wks. for only the price of 4! Go to www.flagpole.com or call (706) 549-0301. Super holiday back yd. sale! Vintage appliances, clothing, Herman Miller chairs, 1950’s Gulf gas pump, 1970’s mannequin, artwork, kids’ stuff & more! Sat. Dec. 11, 8:00 a.m., no early birds! 1045 W. Hancock Ave.

Music Instruction Athens School of Music. Instruction in guitar, bass, drums, piano, voice, brass, woodwinds, strings, banjo, mandolin, fiddle & more. From beginner to expert. Instrument repairs avail. Visit www. AthensSchoolofMusic.com, (706) 543-5800. Looking for a pianist, s a x o p h o n e p l a y e r, violinist? Looking for a band? Find your music mate w/ Flagpole Classifieds! Call (706) 549-0301.

Music Services Fret Shop. Professional guitar repairs & modifications, setups, electronics, precision fretwork. Previous clients incl. R.E.M., Widespread Panic, Cracker, Bob Mould, John Berry, Abbey Road Live!, Squat. (706) 549-1567. Wedding bands. Quality, professional bands. Weddings, parties. Rock, jazz, etc. Call Classic City Entertainment. ( 7 0 6 ) 5 4 9 - 1 5 6 7 . w w w. classiccityentertainment. com. Featuring The Magictones - Athens’ premiere wedding & party band. www.themagictones. com.

Studios RoomFiftyThree. Mix ro o m & P ro To o l s H D 2 Accel-based recording studio on the Eastside of Athens. Seriously high–end analog gear! Seriously affordable! Feel the love! Visit www.roomfiftythree. com.

Services Cleaning Holiday house cleaning specials & cleaning gift certificates. Earthfriendly, pet-friendly, local cleaning service. Call or text Nick (706) 206-0381. Email nick@goodworld.biz, www. goodworld.biz.

Financial Cash now! Get cash for your structured settlement or annuity payments. High payouts. Call JG Wentworth (866) 447-0925. Rated A+ by the Better Business Bureau (AAN CAN).

Health Leaving town? Don't know how to get your weekly Flagpole fix? Subscribe & get Flagpole delivered to your mailbox! $35 for 6 mo.s, $55 for 1 yr.! Call (706) 549-9523. Pregnant? Considering adoption? Talk w/ caring agency specializing in matching birthmothers w/ families nationwide. Living expenses paid. Call 24/7. A b b y ’s O n e Tr u e G i f t Adoptions (866) 413-6293 (AAN CAN).

Misc. Services It’s not too late to book graduation or holiday parties in our lg., private back room! Free! Many configurations incl. TV & sound system. (706) 5838510. Ready to move forward in your career? Resume assistance, 1-on-1 coaching. Athens Career Coach. Free consultation, affordable rates. Contact Sean at (706) 363-0539 o r v i s i t h t t p : / / w w w. higheredcareercoach. com/flagpole.

Jobs Full-time House/server staff: Greyfield Inn, Cumberland Island. Come join our house staff & live/work on a beautiful Georgia island! Some dining & wine service experience helpful. I n - re s i d e n c e p o s i t i o n . $25,500/annum. Send letter of interest & application re q u e s t t o s e a s h o re @ greyfieldinn.com.

Opportunities Help wanted. Earn extra income! Assembling CD c a s e s f ro m h o m e ! N o experience necessar y! Call our live operators now! (800) 405-7619, ext. 2450. www.easywork-greatpay. com (AAN CAN).

High school diploma! Graduate in just 4 wks.! Free brochure. Call now! (800) 5326 5 4 6 , e x t . 9 7 . w w w. continentalacademy.com (AAN CAN). Movie extras to stand in backgrounds for major film production. Earn up to $200/day. Experience not required. All looks needed. Call (877) 568-7052. Paid in advance! Make $1000/wk. mailing b ro c h u re s f ro m h o m e ! Guaranteed income! Free supplies! No experience required. Start immediately! www. homemailerprogram.net (AAN CAN).

Part-time Earn extra income! Easy work processing refunds from home on your computer. No experience needed! Great pay! FT/ PT. Start Mon. Call now (800) 568-7047 (AAN CAN). Mystery shoppers e a r n u p t o $ 1 0 0 / d a y. Undercover shoppers needed to judge retail & dining establishments. No exp. req’d. (800) 7438535.

Vehicles Autos 2006 Saturn Vue. Black w / g r a y i n t e r i o r. G re a t gas mileage, cold A/C, factory roof racks, power windows, locks & mirrors. 81K hwy miles. $8950 OBO. (706) 2061836.

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Honda Civic Si Sports, 2 dr, 35,000 mi., 6 spd. MT. 200 horse power, 21/29 mpg. New Contis. Well-maintained. Loaded. $16,500 OBO. Serious. (678) 984-7474.

Boats 1962 Lonestar 18’ lake boat. Only 20 hrs. on Tohatsu 70 horsepower, low emissions engine. Selling w/ skis, lg. inflatable, all accessories. $3500. Call (912) 2230073.

Notices Lost and Found Lost! Small adult female B & W long-hair cat on Mitchell Bridge Rd. Call (706) 296-0361.

DECEMBER 8, 2010 · FLAGPOLE.COM

Leftover Trouble

Keep Cold, Cold and Hot, Hot, or You’ll Be Feeling Well—Not

Thanksgiving has come and gone and Christmas is sneaking around the corner. How many of you awoke from your Turkey-induced coma with your stomach showing signs of your eminent descent into hell? I’m referring to the hours you will be spending glued to the toilet, while your gut goes through waves of ripping pain, the finale of which will come either in the form of projectile vomiting or exploding diarrhea. And during the few seconds of reprieve, you will take your shaky steps towards your bed with your head throbbing and your muscles aching, and you will beg your body to please keep the few sips of stagnant water sitting on your nightstand down. The energy required to go to the kitchen for a nice fresh glass of cold water is the last thing your fever-induced body will be thinking about. Maybe you will experience a clearing in the fog in the next three to five days of running to the bathroom to stop and think, “What the hell did I eat?” Most people think back to the last meal. Of course, at this point, you don’t know what day it is much less your last meal, but most bacterial pathogens like Salmonella, E. coli and Campylobacter can have an incubation period ranging from six hours to five days, and illness can last from one to 10 days. And if you’re lucky enough to have gotten Campylobacter, it’s very likely that you will relapse and start the process all over again. To add an additional shocker that will most likely have you calling your momma and running to the emergency room, E. coli O157:H7 (as well as the not so news-popular non-O157:H7 STEC E. coli) contain a toxin that produces massive quantities of blood in your diarrhea. But it’s not the massive amounts of blood that should be your only concern, because these toxins are also known for their sadistic roles in kidney failures.

A Few Simple Rules

WUGA C the lassic

91.7

97.9fm

Now that I’ve got your attention, here’s how you have a safer Christmas dinner. I’m sure you’ve heard this a million times, but add another to the notch for posterity: keep hot foods hot and cold foods cold. Seems simple enough, but hours sitting on the table while everyone is unbuttoning yet another button and the Staphylococcus from your sweet-sweet nephew’s grubby fingers is already rapidly multiplying in a hotsingle-celled orgy. Foods should not be left out at room temperature for more than two hours, because then they fall into that magical range of 40°F to 165°F. When putting your food away, divide the hot foods up into small containers so that they will cool faster to 40°F, which will stop the bacteria from basically masturbating all over your food (after all, they’re just having sex with themselves most of the time). Cross contamination is another biggie. Don’t use the same cutting board for meats and vegetables. It’s bad enough that some of the pathogens typically found on meats are already showing up on vegetables (think about recent outbreaks with lettuce, spinach and peppers), without introducing them ourselves. Cutting boards contain deep grooves that bacteria love to hide in, and it’s almost impossible to get them out. So just invest in two cutting boards. But if you’re still just too cheap, then soak the board in 10 percent bleach water, do a voodoo dance and hope for the best.

Turkey Talk Now let’s talk turkey. While it is frozen, the bacteria previously in the turkey are also frozen, but once you begin to thaw the bird, the bacteria also begin to thaw and multiply. Once again, leaving food out at room temperatures—even during

FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 8, 2010

the thawing process—is a recipe for disaster. The outer layers thaw while the inside is still frozen, allowing bacteria to build their army (insert mental image of bacteria getting it on). Thaw the bird in the fridge, giving yourself several days’ time so that it is completely thawed when D-day comes. I cannot stress the importance of a meat thermometer. Thank god for turkey pop-up timers, which work wonderfully, since once the turkey reaches the proper internal temperature of 180ºF, up it pops. Just in case you have a lazy turkey pop-up timer, you should always double check with a meat thermometer to ensure

that the correct internal temperature has been reached. If the bird is stuffed, it will take longer to cook, and the stuffing should reach a temperature of 165ºF. For all you ham lovers, the same rules apply for thawing, but the internal temperatures only need to be 160ºF.

Leftovers and Logic Now what to do with all those leftovers? You may have enough food to pick at for the next month, but in reality leftovers have a shelf life, too. Casseroles, turkey and most other leftovers will be safe for only three to four days if not left out to reach room temperature for more than two hours. Reheat all leftovers to 165ºF and, once again, any leftovers from your leftovers should be put back in the fridge immediately. This should be a no-brainer, but wash your hands! Wash after you handle the turkey and before you start making the salad. Wash when you blow your nose or make a quick trip to the bathroom. Oh, come on: don’t roll your eyes. You’d be surprised. The message is that not all bacteria were on our food to begin with. Some maintain residence within our bodies, particularly our nose and in our fecal material. So, before we start pointing fingers at our food, we need to start washing ours and our sweet little nephews’ too. Truth be told, it’s impossible to avoid all food-borne diseases, especially on foods that do not require any further processing, such as cooking. Following the steps above can help you to avoid most pathogens, but being informed about recalls will further prevent unnecessary trips to the bathroom. Nothing says “I told you so” like eating cheese that’s been sitting on the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) or Food Safety and Inspection Service (FSIS) recall list for several weeks. One of my favorite websites that lists all food recalls as well as all the food safety nerd news you can stand is www.foodsafetynews. com. So keep it cold, keep it warm, and be informed. Jennifer Turpin Jennifer Turpin recently earned her PhD in Food Science and Technology from UGA, and she is also an artist, whose work can be seen at www.etsy. com/shop/turpinart.

ENCOURAGES YOU TO

BRING ATHENS HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

MAKE THE PLEDGE & REGISTER TO WIN at

R U O Y P SHO

FLAGPOLE.COM!

IMPACT OUR LOCAL ECONOMY:

Flagpole readers, by pledging to spend $100 of your shopping dollars at locally owned businesses, you will have a potential $12 million impact on our community, an estimated $2 million more than if it were spent at a non-local big box retailer. *

H T AOFF!

MAKE THE PLEDGE:

Making the pledge is easy. Just go to flagpole.com and register your commitment to spend at least $100 at local businesses this holiday season. As an incentive, Flagpole will enter all who pledge into a drawing to win $100 worth of gift certificates from local businesses.

Deadline to register: Sunday, Dec. 12 Winners announced: Dec. 15 issue of Flagpole

So whether you are shopping, eating, drinking or seeking entertainment,

THINK LOCAL FIRST!

*(Estimates based on numbers from Civic Economics stating that .68 of every dollar spent at a locally owned business stays in the community, while only .43 stays when spent at a chain.)

GIFT CERTIFICATES SUPPLIED BY THE FOLLOWING LOCAL FLAGPOLE ADVERTISERS Cofer’s Home and Garden Daily Groceries DePalma’s Italian Cafe Dog Ear Books DowntownAthensGA.com DRee and Co. Dynamite Clothing Farm 255 Five Points Bottle Shop Five Star Day Cafe Floorspace Flora Hydroponics Frontier George’s Lowcountry Table Gnat’s Landing Bar and Grill

Good Dirt The Grit Helix Hendershot’s Coffee Bar Hilltop Grille Ike and Jane Inoko Sushi Express Jack’s Bar Junkman’s Daughter’s Brother Lock Nest Hair Studio Loft Art Supply Marti’s at Midday Masada Leather and Outdoor Max Canada Midnight Iguana Tattoo

The National Native America Gallery New Earth Music Hall Office Lounge Pain & Wonder Tattoo Studio P.S. Too Perry’s Convenience and Liquor Red’s Southern Tavern Republic Salon Rocket Salon RPM R.Wood Studio Ceramics Shenanigans Salon Skate Shop of Athens Southern Waterbeds and Futons

Square One Fish Co. Ten Pins Tavern Terrapin Beer Co. Toshiro Japanese Express Treehouse Kid and Craft 2 Faced Skincare and Waxing Studio 283 Bar Urban Sanctuary Spa Vision Video Walker’s Coffee & Pub White Tiger Gourmet Whole

ATHEN

WE ARE LOCAL

15 Names will be chosen to win $100 in Gift Certificates! Register at FLAGPOLE.COM

If your local business would like to be a part of Flagpole’s Shop Your ATH Off program, call our Advertising Department at 706-549-0301 or email ads@flagpole.com

WE ARE A PROUD MEMBER OF: WE

Allgood Lounge American Classic Tattoo Athens Vertical Pole Dance Academy Aurum Studios Bel-Jean Copy/Print Center Big City Bread Café Blockader Homebrew Supply bob (SALON) Canopy Studio Casa Mia Cillies Cine BarCafe City Salon and Spa Classic Center Clocked

DECEMBER 8, 2010 · FLAGPOLE.COM

Huge Screen TVs

256 E. CLAYTON ST. (706) 549-0166

150+ Bottled Beers Expanded Wine List

Open Mon-Sat Noon-2am

Pool Tables

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Smoking Welcome on Our Outdoor Patio

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Please Drink Responsibly.

’ r s e k l a Coffee & Pub

Book Your Private Holiday Parties!

thURSDay, DeceMBeR 9

100+ Whiskies 200+ Craft Beers AMAZING HAPPY HOUR 5-9pm

Yummy Food delivered from Speakeasy and Taco Stand!

Spacious Heated Patio! Best View of North Campus Check us out on the web at

blueskyathens.com Located Above

Taco Stand Downtown

OUTDOOR PATIO NOW WITH

FIRE! 260 EAST WASHINGTON STREET DOWNTOWN • 706-369-3040 TOP OF JACKSON ST. 12 STEPS FROM THE CORNER

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