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Bus Tapes p. 4 · WTH? Athens p. 13 · Grub Notes p. 17 · Mixtape Wars p. 19 · Unsilent Night p. 24

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FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 19, 2012

Hey, BBs: DO U M LOCAL MUSIC? Flagpole is looking for MUSIC INTERNS

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pub notes

THIS WEEK’S ISSUE:

Christmas Past

City Dope . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4

So, this being the season and all, I’m trying to think, not of the best Christmas present I ever got, but the best one I ever gave. My father was the hardest to find something for, and whatever we gave him, he always unwrapped it and thanked us and put it, still in the box, on top of his chifforobe, where it would still be the next Christmas.

My father was a discouraging Christmas target, but one year I observed that his ancient Chevrolet “town car” had a couple of worn tires, so I bought a couple and put them under the tree, adorned with red ribbons. He not only was pleased, he put the tires on his car right away, instead of on the chifforobe.

That can’t help but remind me of Snow Tire Company. Its closing is a real blow to those of us who were customers. Snow was sort of the last holdout for those of us who work downtown. You could leave your car there in the morning, and they would put on new tires or change the oil or reline the brakes or whatever else you needed, and then you could pick it up at lunch. It didn’t take two people and two cars and two trips.

You just told Jerry what you needed, and when you came back, it was done for a reasonable price, and when the tires needed air or rotating, there was no additional charge. Service after the sale from somebody you knew.

I think it was just a matter of time for Snow; Jerry was pretty much running the front by himself, just waiting, I guess, for the right offer, and I hope they got it. I hope the guys in the back land on their feet, too. I Local, elegant, don’t recommend stopping by the new brewpub on your way to work, but if fun, personal… you do, be sure to leave your car.

Speaking of being sorely missed during this season, ah, Helix: all year ‘round, the go-to place for a gift, and especially at Christmas. Local, elegant, fun, personal—shopping in Helix was a pleasure. They put the town in downtown, and now they’re gone and so is a big chunk of present-buying.

We’ve still got lots of locally owned businesses that give downtown the eclectic flavor that makes strolling and shopping so interesting, but the loss of Helix reminds us that downtown is always under pressure from chains and bars as landlords seek to maximize rents, with a whole new development shaping up on the eastern edge.

Perhaps it was ever thus. It has been in my experience, at least. Maybe Christmas, because it is one of those seasons of obligatory good cheer, also brings sadness for those no longer with us. Frequently, in writing a Christmas column, I mention my habit of last-minute shopping for presents, and how it distills the holiday spirit down to its essence, intensified by desperation. I’ve got to find the right present, and I’ve got to find it right now, something original and quirky and just right, even though it’s Christmas Eve. That’s why Helix was so great, and that’s why once this train of thought starts running, it chugs back to the most nearly perfect little gift emporium that ever existed in Athens in my experience: Ed and Donna Lambert’s Image Gallery, which brings in even more sadness, because Ed died this year, while enjoying his retirement from the art school, dammit. He was a man accustomed to creative work and a full life, and the personification of a master gardener.

Whenever a gift occasion arose, Image was always there, no matter how late on Christmas Eve, and it was a wonderland of artist-made creations from here in Athens and abroad, the most amazing, hand-painted, hand-wrought pieces that were a joy to give—no video games about killing people.

Image was right across Broad Street from where Flagpole is now, in the building that started out as Chameleon (restaurant, bar, club, arthouse cinema: It changed throughout the day and evening), that later segued into Tyrone’s, the progenitor of the current Athens music scene before it finally burned to the ground, taking with it Image and Peter Buck’s bar tab and so many memories like poet, dancer and walker Ed Weeks’ “Last Tango in Athens,” not to mention R.E.M. & them.

So, yeah, maybe that’s why I buy them at the last minute— procrastination, habit, a Scrooge-like indifference to the season—but as I make my rounds, I am accompanied by a wonderful host of the better kind of the ghosts of Christmas past.

Pete McCommons editor@flagpole.com

News & Features Athens News and Views

Paul Broun is back on the Science Committee and probably running for Senate.

Plus, redeveloping Pauldoe, funding Firefly Trail and Big Brother on the bus.

Athens Rising . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 What’s Up in New Development

Plans for the Armstrong & Dobbs property are much improved, but Selig Enterprises should be reusing the historic warehouses.

Arts & Events Terrapin Taps the Market . . . . . . . 16 Local Craft Brewery Set to Expand

Terrapin soon will have a brewery capable of producing four times the beer.

Movie Pick . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 Oblomov of Williamsburg

Director/co-writer Rick Alverson’s The Comedy dares you to laugh.

Music Threats & Promises . . . . . . . . . . . 18 Music News and Gossip

Gordon Lamb recaps the year in Athens music for 2013.

The Year in Music . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 2012 Examined, In Three Parts

What was, what could have been and what will be.

CITY DOPE. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 CITY PAGES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 CAPITOL IMPACT. . . . . . . . . . . . 6 COMMENT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 ATHENS RISING . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 SELIG’S NEW PLANS. . . . . . . . . 8 HOLIDAY GUIDE . . . . . . . . . . . 10 WTH? ATHENS. . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 MOVIE DOPE. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 MOVIE PICK . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 TERRAPIN BREWERY. . . . . . . .16 GRUB NOTES . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17

THREATS & PROMISES. . . . . . 18 MIXTAPE WARS. . . . . . . . . . . . 19 THE YEAR IN MUSIC. . . . . . . . 20 LISTEN UP!. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21 THE CALENDAR!. . . . . . . . . . . 22 BULLETIN BOARD. . . . . . . . . . 26 ART AROUND TOWN . . . . . . . . 27 CLASSIFIEDS . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28 CROSSWORD . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29 COMICS. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30 REALITY CHECK. . . . . . . . . . . 31

EDITOR & PUBLISHER Pete McCommons ADVERTISING DIRECTOR & PUBLISHER Alicia Nickles PRODUCTION DIRECTOR Larry Tenner MANAGING EDITOR Christina Cotter ADVERTISING SALES Anita Aubrey, Melinda Edwards, Jessica Pritchard Mangum MUSIC EDITOR Gabe Vodicka CITY EDITOR Blake Aued CLASSIFIEDS, DISTRIBUTION & OFFICE MANAGER Jessica Smith ASSISTANT OFFICE MANAGER Sydney Slotkin AD DESIGNERS Kelly Hart, Cindy Jerrell CARTOONISTS Cameron Bogue, Lee Gatlin, Missy Kulik, Jeremy Long, David Mack ADOPT ME Special Agent Cindy Jerrell CONTRIBUTORS Hillary Brown, Tom Crawford, Mark Ellers, Derek Hill, John Huie, Jyl Inov, Gordon Lamb, Dan Mistich, Stella Smith, Drew Wheeler, Robin Whetstone, Kevan Williams CIRCULATION Charles Greenleaf, Will Donaldson, Matt Shirley, Emily Armond, Jessica Smith WEB DESIGNER Kelly Hart CALENDAR Jessica Smith ADVERTISING INTERNS Claire Corken, CD Skehan MUSIC INTERN Jennifer Barron

COVER STORY see Selig’s New Plans feature on p. 8

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STREET ADDRESS: 112 Foundry St., Athens, GA 30601 MAILING ADDRESS: P.O. Box 1027, Athens, GA 30603 EDITORIAL: (706) 549-9523 · ADVERTISING: (706) 549-0301 · FAX: (706) 548-8981 ADVERTISING: ads@flagpole.com CALENDAR: calendar@flagpole.com COMICS: comics@flagpole.com EDITORIAL: editor@flagpole.com

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Flagpole, Inc. publishes Flagpole Magazine weekly and distributes 14,500 copies free at over 275 locations around Athens, Georgia. Subscriptions cost $70 a year, $40 for six months. © 2012 Flagpole, Inc. All rights reserved.

VOLUME 26 ISSUE NUMBER 50

Association of Alternative Newsmedia

DECEMBER 19, 2012 · FLAGPOLE.COM

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city dope Athens News and Views Athens Skyrocketing: Flagpole might as well change the name of the whole magazine to Athens Rising. We have a big spread this week on Selig Enterprises’ new proposal, Stella Smith scolds Selig for wanting to demolish the old warehouses at Armstrong & Dobbs, and Kevan Williams muses about spurring smaller-scale development downtown, rather than student apartment monstrosities.

And yet, we still haven’t covered all of the growth-related news around town. The Athens Housing Authority announced last week that it won $8.6 million in tax credits from the state Department of Community Affairs to start redeveloping Jack R. Wells Homes, AKA Pauldoe.

Rather than merely renovating the 40-year-old, 125-unit complex off Hawthorne Avenue, AHA, working with private developer Columbia Residential, is going to raze it and start over. The tax credits will be sold to investors and used to partially fund the new development, keeping it affordable and allowing for amenities like a pond, a park, a town square and new roads to connect it to the surrounding neighborhood.

Unlike public housing redevelopment projects in Atlanta and elsewhere, no one will be permanently displaced. Residents can move into other AHA projects during construction or get Section 8 vouchers, and they have first dibs on units in the new development.

The first phase of the $47 million project will be a 100-unit mid-rise assisted living facility for seniors near Pauldoe’s entrance, opening in 2014. Another 275 apartments and townhouses are planned. The units will be one-third public housing, one-third subsidized for low- to-moderate income families and onethird market rate.

Pauldoe is outdated and sits on a woefully underused piece of property conveniently located on bus lines near employers and shop-

You Are Not Alone: When The Daily—Rupert Murdoch’s now-defunct iPad news site—reported last week that in seven cities, including Athens, “government officials are quietly installing sophisticated audio surveillance systems on public buses.� Athens Transit Director Butch McDuffie’s phone started to ring.

Wired and dozens of other websites picked up the news.

Understandably, given the conspiratorial tone of the original post, some people were a little freaked out that transit officials might be listening as passengers talked among themselves. Soon, Forbes magazine, CNN and NBC were calling. McDuffie had to set them straight. “We’re not doing anything wrong,� he said. “We’re not listening to people’s private conversations.�

Nor was it necessarily quiet, although no one seems to have noticed when Athens Transit installed a new surveillance system in 2007. Because who has an expectation of privacy on a bus? And even if you did, signs posted in English and Spanish alerting passengers to the surveillance ought to disabuse you of that notion.

Anyway, road and engine noise makes most conversations unintelligible, unless someone is shouting or standing near the driver, according to McDuffie, who welcomes anyone l

ping. This public-private project is exactly the type of development Athens needs to provide working people with a safe and affordable alternative to decaying Section 8 apartments and rapidly gentrifying intown neighborhoods, and at a minimal cost to taxpayers.

Firefly Trail: Running behind the proposed Selig development (now with 100 percent less Walmart!), Athens-Clarke County has long planned to convert an abandoned railroad into a walking and biking trail. That trail will run out to the park-and-ride lot by the Loop and eventually all the way to Winterville, where it

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could one day link into Firefly Trail and go 39 miles down to Union Point.

Unlike the East Athens rails-to-trails project, there is no taxpayer funding for Firefly Trail. But advocates recently incorporated, and the IRS has granted them nonprofit status, allowing The Firefly Trail Inc. to accept tax-free donations of money, services and land. Email fireflytrail@gmail.com for more information. “Not only do they help improve the health and pride of their local communities, long trails like the Firefly attract significant tourist traffic and generate substantial economic impact,� Maxeys Mayor John Stephens said. “The old Georgia Railroad corridor provides a highly attractive, level route through friendly towns and beautiful farmland, as well as a fascinating glimpse into our area’s rich history. We think it will have national appeal.�

FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 19, 2012

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to listen to the recordings. The system hangs on to audio and video for about two weeks before taping over it, you can’t listen in real time, and it records about 3,000 hours a day.

So unless there are a few hundred transit employees I don’t know about, no one is eavesdropping.

The system does come in handy when a driver is rude to a passenger or a passenger verbally abuses a driver, and McDuffie said that frivolous lawsuits are down 50 percent since it was installed. Recordings have been used to prosecute a passenger who threatened to kill a driver and prove that a man who sued Athens Transit after a wreck was faking his injury, McDuffie said.

Broun Rowndup: Our man in Congress, vanquisher of Darwin, holy warrior against the global warming conspiracy and evolution naysayer Paul Broun, Jr., is back on the House Science, Space, and Technology Committee.

He may not be there for long, though.

Broun, an avid big game hunter, is widely rumored to have Sen. Saxby Chambliss in his sights. At a tea party press conference last week, a reporter asked him whether he would run against Chambliss if Chambliss voted to raise taxes in a fiscal cliff deal. “This is not about a race in 2014,â€? Broun said, according to the AJC. “This is about the next two weeks‌ I will not cave in. I am going to vote against raising taxes on anyone. Period.

So not looking forward to any particular race.

This is all about just what makes sense financially for your children and your grandchildren’s future.�

It’s hard to read anything into that statement, because that’s what Broun believes, and he’s the type of guy who will say so to any TV camera he can find, whether he’s running for something or not. But Georgia Republican operative Joel McElhannon recently told Politico on the record that “I feel very confident Paul Broun’s running for U.S. Senate,� to the extent that McElhannon’s recruiting candidates in the 10th District.

One theory is that Chambliss’ recent openness to raising revenue is intended to bait Broun into a primary, rather than ostensibly stronger challengers like Rep. Tom Price or former Secretary of State Karen Handel. But Athenians know better than anyone, do not misunderstimate Broun or the conservativeness of the GOP primary electorate.

Blake Aued news@flagpole.com

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city pages Economic Development Board Ponders Future Athens-Clarke County will continue to fund the existing Economic Development Foundation through June, paying its two employees, but its existence beyond that time is uncertain. “Do we put it in a mode of dormancy, or does it cease to exist?” EDF Chairman Paul Chambers asked last week. “I don’t want to be sitting on a board that has no authority, no power, no oversight.”

Because it’s chartered as a nonprofit organization, the EDF might continue as a vehicle to accept donations from businesses or individuals to use for economic development. In some cities, such donations are a big factor—an earlier Oconee county study said $3 million might be raised regionally in private funds—but so far, local economic development has been mostly government-funded.

That apparently won’t change soon, as ACC commissioners have decided to take economic development in-house, creating a new county department as opposed to an independent authority. The EDF board won’t meet again until March, and it will consider then whether the foundation continues at all. By then, its replacement—a new county department charged with recruiting new businesses and jobs—could be getting off the ground.

ACC Manager Alan Reddish’s plans for the new department are still “very nebulous,” Mayor Nancy Denson told the EDF board. “I don’t have that all together yet,” Reddish told Flagpole, but a department head might be hired in early spring, before interim EDF President Peggy Chapman leaves in July. The new position is considered a critical hire, given that EDF is widely seen to have had weak leadership in the past.

Reddish’s proposed budget of $670,000— more than double EDF’s funding—has been taken to heart by the elected commissioners, who have agreed to fund it and may slightly raise property taxes. The department would initially comprise three people, Reddish said: the director, an administrative support person and a researcher/technical person to respond to interested businesses. The department would “cultivate supportive relationships” regionally, he said, but “our focus is not going to be to try to find industry for the region.

First and foremost, we’re looking for industry for here.” Past proposals for multicounty efforts to bring jobs “did not get enough support politically,” he noted.

Although commissioners have not responded to Denson’s economic development task force’s criticisms that some of ACC’s development requirements are too stringent, Reddish said that “some of the functions of an ombudsman can be provided by this new department” to help businesses deal with permit and zoning requirements.

Until it shuts down, the EDF is continuing to network with existing industries and the University of Georgia, Chapman said. She recently put together a list of local industries for the first time. Meanwhile, the Caterpillar site at highways 78 and 316 is developing.

“They’re moving dirt out there as fast as they can,” she said, and soon an annex to Athens Tech will begin training Caterpillar employees.

The manufacturer has said it will hire 300 people during 2013 (and more later) to manufacture excavator backhoes and small bulldozers at the new factory in Bogart. Local jobs will be posted and applications accepted through Caterpillar’s main website (www.caterpillar. com) in early 2013, although few Athens jobs have been posted yet.

John Huie

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comment

A Way To Restore Trust

Downtown Can Grow Organically

If you’re looking for examples of political corruption in our great state, you can find them at the Capitol or at many county courthouses without a lot of effort. Turn your eyes to Gwinnett County, where a former county commissioner is headed to federal prison after pleading guilty to taking a bribe from a developer. Another former Gwinnett commissioner has been indicted on charges he was bribed by a local developer in a county property transaction.

At the legislative level, an influential state senator was sanctioned by his own chamber’s ethics committee for seeking state expense reimbursements for days when he was out of town being entertained by lobbyists. The senator paid a $5,000 fine to settle the ethics case but is still under investigation by the GBI. The state Senate passed a bill that would give lucrative tax breaks to developers of tourist attractions. That tax break was adopted after it was slipped surreptitiously into another bill—which meant that several senators were not even aware they were voting to pass a tax break.

In the judicial branch, there have been numerous judges who were forced to resign from the bench in the middle of investigations by the Judicial Qualifications Commission into allegations that they behaved unethically or corruptly.

It’s no wonder that Georgians are tired of this. That disapproval was expressed eloquently last July when voters rejected a onecent sales tax to build and maintain highways.

Voters also passed, by large margins, straw vote issues calling for limitations on the gifts that lobbyists can give to legislators.

Back in the 1980s, an ambitious attorney general named Mike Bowers called for the creation of statewide grand juries or special grand juries to investigate allegations of corruption by elected officials. He proposed this review panel to go after cases that regular

6

grand juries refused to touch because the allegations involved local politicians or businessmen. That proposal never gained traction with the Democratic majority that controlled the Legislature at the time. I have not heard it discussed during the past decade when Republicans controlled all the levers of state government.

Thankfully, that old idea is being dusted off for another discussion in the upcoming legislative session. A proposed constitutional amendment has been pre-filed that would authorize the attorney general to ask the Georgia Supreme Court to empanel one of these special grand juries. This grand jury would have the power to investigate and issue indictments for any crime “involving corruption in the executive, legislative or judicial branch of the state, any political subdivision or municipality of the state, or any authority or instrumentality of the state, a political subdivision, or municipality.”

That would cover just about all areas of state and local government.

The constitutional amendment was introduced by Sen. Josh McKoon (R-Columbus), who has emerged as one of the few lawmakers willing to tackle the sensitive issues of governmental ethics and political corruption. No one in the legislative leadership has signed on to this measure as a co-sponsor. It would have to receive a two-thirds vote in both the Senate and the House of Representatives before it could be placed on the 2014 general election ballot for consideration by the voters. There is not much of a chance it will be passed.

Even with those odds against it, the proposal for a statewide grand jury is a good idea that at least deserves the support of the current attorney general. Sam Olens, the ball is in your court.

FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 19, 2012

Tom Crawford tcrawford@gareport.com

High-rise proposals and restaurant/bar/ district’s initial recovery and renaissance 30 microbrewery concepts have been flying years ago, creating a sort of economic resilaround downtown lately, representing new ience that you just don’t see in anchor-tenantinvestment in the hundreds of millions of doldriven shopping malls. While microbreweries lars, but just because downtown is growing and intimate new restaurant-venue hybrids doesn’t mean it’s the kind of growth we want. near West Washington Street are exciting These new developments are clustering on and welcome additions, ultimately they are either end of town, with projects from regioninstances of gentrification, a particular verally significant entrepre-brewers and other sion of this resilient urban economic process. creative business owners, all west of Lumpkin The ability of businesses to own their spaces Street, involving the renovation of small, outright has also gone a long way toward often historic spaces. New high-rises are combuffering local businesses from rising property ing in on the east side of downtown in large values and rents. piles of retail, parking and apartments. Wes Bear in mind that these new brewpubs Rogers, CEO of Landmark Properties, straddles and restaurants are simply replacing previous the line, being an investor in the new Snow occupants. The organic business community is Tire brewery and head of the company behind not growing, just evolving. Demand for small The Standard, a new student apartment highhistoric spaces is increasing, but the supply is rise at the former Athens Hardware. He’s bring- staying the same. The real question becomes ing us the best and worst of Atlanta in the how to provide new commercial spaces that forms of a relocated brewmaster and generic function in the small-scale organic way. high-rise development.

If the crafty ethic that will go into the renovation of Snow Tire were applied to the design of that apartment complex, we might have a less divided downtown.

But the real distinction isn’t between the way these types of downtown development look. Appearance, form, scale and even tenant makeup are mere symptoms of an underlying financial structure.

At the recent downtown master plan town hall meeting, citizens said they want diverse We need fewer giant developments and more projects like the Snow Tire-turnedbusinesses and users, microbrewery. historic character, and architectural scale and walkability. Essentially, the small-scale kind Growing a dynamic and diverse business of development is what people prefer for the district will require looking at how those future. Unfortunately, that’s the hardest things places come to be. The most effective planfor contemporary development to address. ning documents ever drafted for downtown Selig Enterprise’s revised proposal for the forwere the initial plats from centuries ago that mer Armstrong & Dobbs property, for example, split the land up into small pieces and ultidoes tone down some of the more abhorrent mately determined the scale of all the buildarchitecture and eliminates the Walmart, but ings that followed. Only when those parcels it is functionally the same project. The develwere combined did we start getting the outopment still lacks true public connectivity to of-scale projects that worry us today. the greenway or recognition of the value that If we wanted to develop a more organic historic preservation could bring. downtown, platting out government-owned Should we expect anything different? blocks into manageable pieces might go farThe business model that large developments ther in producing the kind of downtown we require just isn’t set up to produce small-scale, value than any zoning law. The catch is craftdiverse places. Athens’ design guidelines may ing a financing model that actually results in break these masses up visually, but they don’t small buildings owned outright by local busiproduce the structure that actually makes for ness owners. Maybe a land trust or Habitat for a vibrant, small-scale downtown. The unnamed Humanity approach could work, with lengthy project at Hull and Broad streets, on the low-interest loans for entrepreneurs starting SunTrust property, breaks up its facade into new neighborhood businesses. This could be the appearance of several buildings and comes more likely to give us what we want downclosest to recreating the scale of our existing town, rather than the alternative of blockdowntown, but it is an illusion. It won’t prosized mega-developments. It’d take patience, duce the kind of dynamic community of which creativity and a little risk-taking to accomarchitecture is only a manifestation. The realplish something like this. The current developity is that these developers are producers of ment model seems incapable of producing the real estate products, not communities. sort of community we’re asking for, so what Of course, there are other, more subtle choice do we have but to give something else effects to the organic structure of downtown. a try?

That structure—both architecturally and in terms of ownership—made possible the Kevan Williams

Blake Aued

capitol impact

athens rising What’s Up in New Development Athens has been holding its breath for months now, but we can finally breathe easy: no Walmart on the Armstrong & Dobbs property. Last week, Selig Enterprises released a dramatically revised version of its plans for nine acres off Oconee Street on the edge of downtown. The changes made have been pretty dramatic.

The biggest change has been to downsize the largest retail space from 95,000 square feet—nearly the size of two football fields—to a 35,000 square feet that could be subdivided into two or three smaller retail spaces. And Selig Senior Vice President Jo Ann Chitty told Flagpole that, although the development will not include a much-wanted grocery store, neither will a controversial Walmart be the anchor tenant.

Blake Aued

Wake up and smell the coffee, Selig.

Selig seems to have taken the complaints of the community seriously and has made many changes since going back to the drawing board. Most Athenians agree that the Armstrong & Dobbs property should be developed, but not as a big box. Selig took that to heart and made serious and drastic changes to their project.

As a preservationist, though, it bothers me that Selig is demolishing, rather than preserving, what currently stands on the Armstrong & Dobbs and adjacent property. The fate of Jittery Joe’s Roasting Co. is at stake, as well as the ruins of a former cannery and building supply warehouses. Chitty said that Selig is continuing to talk with Jittery Joe’s to keep them involved, but its current building will be torn down for proposed residences along Firefly Trail. The historic warehouse (originally built between 1926 and 1950 as a distributing warehouse for Budweiser) has housed Jittery Joe’s for 13 years. An iconic symbol of Athens and home to some of the best coffee in town will be gone.

Selig has used the term “adaptive reuse� several times, but there are no plans to adaptively reuse anything. Chitty said they plan to reuse the bricks from the Armstrong & Dobbs structure; reusing the bricks is good (though I wonder how many will actually be reused), but is by no means adaptive. Adaptive reuse would entail reusing the existing structure and adapting its use to something other than

a lumberyard. Reusing extant materials will cut down on Selig’s carbon footprint and the embodied energy used in their development, but not as much as actually adaptively reusing the structure.

Since Jittery Joe’s sits on the very edge of the property, I wish Selig’s plans would circumvent the building rather than demolish it. Since Jittery Joe’s leases the building, they have no say in whether or not their building stays. Selig’s press release states that their project will “provide an opportunity for residents and retailers seeking a new experience in the Classic City,� which is great, but this new experience shouldn’t come at the cost of our current experience. Jittery Joe’s is more than a place where coffee is roasted. Beyond the cheap coffee and free smells, it has been host to community events such as fashion shows and fundraisers.

They also feature lots of local art, help folks sell their bicycles and offer free composting to anyone who wants it. That said, the art can all be moved, as can the bicycles and compost heap, and fundraisers can be hosted in wherever their new location may be—whether it’s in the Selig development or elsewhere in Athens.

Jittery Joe’s is not the only preservation issue, though. The property is listed on the National Register of Historic Places, and it includes an early20th-century cannery, seed house, cotton shed, cotton gin and grocery warehouse, according to the AthensClarke Heritage Foundation.

What is left of the old Armstrong & Dobbs building will be torn down so the site can be graded to eliminate hills. The building doesn’t look like much from the view on Oconee Street, but is pretty impressive from the back—a view that few people see. This relatively secluded area would be a perfect place for concerts or other outdoor events— a great idea that was floated as part of the since-abandoned plans for a river district. But it must all be leveled so that no one will be inconvenienced by walking up a hill in the Georgia piedmont. Some people see it as their duty to bend nature to suit our needs, rather than work with what is there.

It always bothers me when history has to go away to make room for “progress,� and while I’m not a builder or developer, I don’t understand why new and old can’t coexist.

Historic versus new development should not be an either/or. They can, and often do, work together, and in this situation I wish they would.

Overall, Selig’s proposal has changed to better fit our community and the location they plan to build on. They took public input seriously and made many changes, but in Athens we take preservation seriously, and so should Selig.

Stella Smith

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7

Christmas Comes Early for Downtown ‘Tis the Season for Selig’s New Plans—Minus Walmart in part because she wanted a grocery store. “I still think that’s something that would have been good for downtown—having a grocery store or a smaller-sized Walmart, someplace to buy the essentials,” she says. Nevertheless, Denson says the new plans are “amazingly improved” over the first version. “I’m just delighted that it’s a go, because we need the tax base; we need the jobs in the community,” she says.

Among downtown business owners who had felt threatened by the new development, reaction ranged from relief that Walmart ditched the project to cautious optimism to continued

Sanni Baumgärtner, who owns Community, says she is “relieved and happy to hear that Walmart will not come downtown” but still opposes the development. She compares it to the West Washington Street parking deck that opened earlier this year with an all-chain roster of restaurants on the ground floor. Downtown should develop “organically,” rather than at the hands of a big out-of-town developer, she says. “We are still facing a huge new development right next to our thriving downtown that will threaten our locally owned businesses,” Baumgärtner says.

Niles Bolton Associates

W

hen Bob Googe, CEO of the Athens-based coffee chain Jittery Joe’s, met with representatives from Selig Enterprises recently to discuss new plans for a controversial, $80 million mixed-use development on the edge of downtown Athens, he told them: “I think your opposition just disappeared.”

It hasn’t completely evaporated—some residents remain wary of Selig’s intentions—but it has certainly dried up since the Atlanta developer released the new plans last week.

Athenians banded together to fight the massive development at the former Armstrong & Dobbs property—which at the time included the hated Walmart as the anchor tenant—in a way they hadn’t since the Classic Center clash 20 years ago. And they won. “There will no longer be a Walmart,” Selig Senior Vice President Jo Ann Chitty pronounced Dec. 12.

“It sounds cheesy, but I’m proud of Athenians stepping up and saying what they want to see on that property,” says Russell Edwards, who formed the group People For a Better Athens a year ago to fight a downtown Walmart.

No Walmart, But No Grocery Selig’s latest plans for the nine-acre tract between Oconee, East Broad and Wilkerson streets incorporate many of the criticisms the company heard about its initial 2011 proposal. For one, there’s no big box. The 95,000 square-foot anchor store that Walmart would have occupied is now 35,000 square feet, about the size of a small grocery store like Earth Fare or Bell’s.

Walmart pulled out because experiments with urban markets that are smaller than supercenters and emphasize groceries haven’t gone well, according to Chitty. “It wasn’t specifically about Athens,” she says. “There was a corporate decision to suspend that because the stores weren’t performing the way they wanted them to.”

Unfortunately, the development will not include a longawaited downtown grocery store. Chitty said she talked to every grocery chain in the country, but the cost of a parking deck drove up rents too high for the low-margin sector, and architects had trouble finding space for a loading dock. It remains to be seen who will come into that space, or others that make up the development’s 125,000 square feet of commercial space—two-thirds the size of the initial proposal.

“No one knows who the tenant or tenants might be for that space, but it has the potential to be something very, very special,”Chitty says.

The tenants are likely to be a mix of local businesses and national retail chains like The Gap, says Jack Crowley, the University of Georgia College of Environment and Design professor who is overseeing a master plan for downtown. As for a grocery store, downtown still needs a larger population to support one, as well as solutions to problems like distance requirements to sell booze and where to unload stock, he says. “It’s not going to happen for a while,” he says.

Mayor Nancy Denson pushed for the original big-box design

A map of the proposed development. skepticism about what adding so much new retail space will do to downtown’s historic core.

Frontier owner Devin Clower says she’s happy about many of the changes Selig has made, but she still questions whether downtown needs so much new commercial space. Hopefully, all of the new residents who will be moving into several new downtown developments will create enough business for everyone, she says. “I just don’t want to see empty space,” she says.

More development downtown will create a critical mass that will benefit everyone, Chitty says. “From a retail perspective, having more people downtown is a positive.”

Crowley agrees that, instead of competing with existing businesses, new development should benefit them. He notes that $250 million in new construction containing about 1,700 beds within easy walking distance of downtown is on the horizon, including 250 units in the Selig development. “That’s 1,700 new shoppers and revelers,” he says.

Niles Bolton Associates

Take Me to the River

A rendering of the proposed development looking south on East Broad Street.

8

FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 19, 2012

For many critics, Walmart was the main issue. Others pointed to the development’s design, which in its original form focused inward, with a parking deck facing Firefly Trail, a future rails-to-trails project, and its back turned to the North Oconee River. The new design features residential units facing the trail that will one day run along the back side of the property, with a connection from the trail into the development.

“I think that’s going to be a real amenity and a draw for hikers, as well as the people moving in there,” Athens-Clarke Commissioner Kelly Girtz says.

Clower wants the Selig development to be an extension of downtown. “One of my biggest interests is connecting downtown to the river,” she says. “There’s so much potential there. I hope it’s not cutting everything off.”

It won’t, Crowley says. “I think it could be a massive link from downtown to the river area—’massive’ meaning a very, very effective one,” he says.

Not everyone is so sure. “I find it very telling that two of the more problematic elements of the last plan are not included in the materials released [last] week,” says Tony

Niles Bolton Associates

A rendering of the proposed development looking north on Oconee Street. the funky vibe that defines Athens for so much of the outside world.” Link says she’d rather see the architects incorporate those stone and brick walls into new structures that acknowledge the property’s history. (See Athens Rising on p. 7 for more on that topic.)

Chitty, the Selig VP, maintains there was no way to develop the property without razing those buildings. While Girtz—the

Blake Aued

Eubanks, co-founder of Protect Downtown Athens, a group that focused on flaws in Selig’s design, rather than Walmart.

Eubanks says he’s waiting to see images showing the Firefly Trail and Wilkerson Street sides of the development before weighing in on the new plans.

Athens-Clarke County’s zoning code calls for ground-floor commercial space in residential buildings, so Selig will have to seek a variance from the county government—one it seems likely to get at this point. Girtz says he’s fine with ground-floor residential along the trail because the project includes a good mix of retail and residential, while Denson says she thinks it makes the project better.

But the process will be a long one. Chitty says she intends to file for the variance in February. County officials would then review it, sending it on to the Planning Commission to make a recommendation to the county commission. The process is expected to take about four months, says Selig spokesman Brian Brodrick of the public relations firm Jackson-Spalding, putting the start of the 18-month construction period at mid2013. This will be the first time planners have seen anything from Selig on paper, and they’ll have a lot to look at, AthensClarke Senior Planner Bruce Lonnee says, but he expects the process to go relatively smoothly.

“You would think, with the amount of engagement, they’d have thought through the answers to the things that had people concerned,” Lonnee says.

Googe, the Jittery Joe’s CEO, calls the design “spectacularly better than their first plan.” And it’s possible the roasting company might find a home in the new development. “We’re very optimistic they will have a place in the project,” Chitty says. The roaster may not fit in among the development’s retailers and restaurants, and leasing space there may be too expensive, Googe says, but he’d like to keep it as close to downtown as possible.

“We’re communicating” with Selig, he says. “We’re talking about what will work, what won’t work, so we don’t know what will happen yet.”

Questions also remain about traffic and parking. Unlike the original plans, the new version includes Hickory Street Extension, a planned street that would run from East Broad Street at the Multimodal Transportation Center through the Armstrong & Dobbs property to Oconee Street, creating a flat connection between the bus station and the UGA campus.

The street will include two travel lanes that can accommodate buses, parallel parking, bike lanes and sidewalks.

The intersection of the unnamed new “boulevard” and Oconee Street will have a traffic signal, and Oconee Street, which is just one lane running southeast, will get a turn lane for shoppers coming to the development from Broad Street, Chitty says. Selig will submit a traffic study to ACC as part of its variance application.

Once drivers get there, they can park in a hidden 700-space deck inside a retail and residential building fronting Oconee Street. Will the deck compete with ACC-owned decks downtown? “We haven’t really worked what the parking rates would be,” Chitty says.

In spite of such lingering questions and concerns, most people rate Selig’s second effort as a vast improvement over the 2011 Walmart-centric plan that sparked such an outcry. “I

Jittery No’s There is at least one objection to the project that Selig has no answers to, though—the fate of Jittery Joe’s Roasting Co. and the warehouse ruins on the property that the company is tearing down. “It’s extremely disappointing that they still intend to bulldoze the historic warehouses,” activist Melissa Link says. “Especially Jittery Joe’s, which is a stunning example of adaptive reuse that incorporates the talents of our local creative community in a building that is essentially an icon of

A view of the site from Oconee Street. [Blake Aued] commissioner who used a local preservation law to put a hold on Selig’s demolition permit a year ago—would like the developer to keep those buildings, it’s not a deal-breaker for him.

“There’s give and take with every project,” he says.

think it’s a big improvement,” says Edwards, the People For a Better Athens leader. “Anyone would say that, I think.”

Blake Aued news@flagpole.com

DECEMBER 19, 2012 · FLAGPOLE.COM

9

Holiday Guide

Flagpole’s Businesses Extend Season’s Greetings and Welcome Art: Retail, Galleries & Markets Farmington Depot Gallery

1001 Salem Rd., Farmington, 706-769-5379 Looking for unique gifts? Be sure to put Farmington Depot Gallery on your shopping map! Conveniently located on Hwy. 441, the Gallery offers a wide selection of paintings, woodwork, sculpture, pottery, glasswork and more. The Gallery has just added widely recognized local potter, Jeff Bishoff (JB) to their list of distinguished artists. Come on by!! Chimpy’s BBQ on Saturdays. Extended Holiday hours are 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. seven days a week.

The Gallery Shop at Lyndon House Arts Center

Bars & Clubs Georgia Theatre

215 N. Lumpkin St., 706-850-7670 Georgia Theatre now offers gift cards! Good to purchase concert tickets, food and beverages and Georgia Theatre merchandise! Available in $25 increments at www.georgiatheatre. com and on the Georgia Theatre rooftop.

Hendershot’s Coffee Bar

1560 Oglethorpe Ave., 706-353-3050 This holiday season Hendershot’s Coffee Bar offers unique gifts for the naughty and the nice. Our seasonal Christmas Coal is available in 12 oz. cans, ground or whole bean. There is a

293 Hoyt St., 706-613-3623 ext. 224 Seasonal and gift-oriented arts and crafts by local artists, including wreaths, cards and ornaments. This year “Deck the Walls” artists “took a modern spin on Victorian,” creating ornaments for the 12-foot Christmas tree that graces the Lower Atrium Gallery. Paintings adorn the walls “salon-style,” shelves overflow with pottery, hats, scarves, jewelry, fused glass, wood containers and more.

Tuesdays–Saturdays, 12–5 p.m., through Jan. 5, 2013. Closed Dec. 25 & Jan. 1. Free parking.

Treppenhaus

114 College Ave., 706-355-3060 Happy Holidays from Treppenhaus and our sister bars The Pub at Gameday, Bluesky, Walker’s, Boar’s Head, Bar South, Allgood and Athens Bagel Company. Give your friends and family the best gift of all… Bring them in for a drink! Let us deck your liver with loads of cocktails this holiday season. Happy Holidays and may all your hangovers be mild. Ring in the New Year with us!

Concerts & Events Deck the Hollow

293 Gran Ellen Dr., 706-613-3580 The second annual “Deck the Hollow” at Bear Hollow Zoo inside Memorial Park features festive holiday lights and music to accompany the animal encounters, plus s’mores and appearances by elves or Santa or the Grinch and more each night.

We have even more lights this year! Don’t miss out on Athens’ newest holiday tradition! Thursday, Dec 13– Saturday, Dec. 22, 5:30–7:30 p.m. $3 admission. Concessions available for purchase. www.athensclarkecounty.com/bearhollow

The Sensational Sounds of Motown New Year’s Eve Show

Good Dirt Clay Studio and Gallery 510 N. Thomas St., 706-355-3161 Good Dirt is a spacious, well-equipped facility for people of all ages and abilities to explore clay and other media. Our schedule of winter classes (starting early January) in pottery, sculpture and glass is at www. gooddirt.net. Gift certificates for classes and workshops available. The Gallery @ Good Dirt will feature Rob Sutherland’s pottery and Kim Sutherland’s glass through Dec. 21. A Friday “Try Clay” class will be offered Dec. 21.

835 Sunset Dr., 706-546-0543 Attention! Attention! Plan to join us this New Year’s Eve to dance into 2013 with with The Sensational Sounds of Motown at the Athens VFW. The Sensational Sounds of Motown are Athens’ premier classic Motown, R&B and Soul dance band.

Bring your own goodies for your table. Cash bar. Champagne available at midnight. Monday, Dec. 31. Doors at 7:30 p.m.

Show at 9 p.m. For information and reservations, call Sherry at 706-546-0543.

The Loft Art Supply

Health & Beauty A. LaFera Salon

Dana Downs

1035 Baxter St., 706-548-5334 Who doesn’t love art supplies?! We have inspiration for everyone on your list—from the novice to the connoisseur—including decorative papers, watercolor sets, easels, sketchbooks, calligraphy pens and tons more.

Need help customizing a gift? We can help!

Have a friend with a vision? We have gift certificates! We can even help you get that paintbrush you’ve always wanted! Special holiday pricing on easels and gift sets. The Loft—where artists have served artists for over 30 years. www.loftartsupply.com

Long Road Studio

410 King Ave., find us on Facebook The newly formed clay collective, Long Road Studio, featuring artists Laura Cooper, Juana Gnecco, Nancy Green, Allya Macdonald, Melanie Sgrignoli, Kendall Steele and Caryn van Wagtendonk offers two weekends of holiday sales, Dec. 15 & 16 and Dec. 22 & 23 from 9 a.m.–6 p.m. Handmade items include unique stoneware and porcelain pottery pieces as well as oneof-a-kind sculptural pieces. Don’t miss this opportunity to find one-of-a-kind gifts for those creative people in your life!

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New Year’s Eve with Tangents, party favors and champagne at Midnight. Happy Holidays!

FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 19, 2012

new selection of Hendershot’s t-shirts available in sizes XS to XXL. For a unique gift, combine the Christmas Coal with a t-shirt gift wrapped in a handmade record bowl that is sure to please both the naughty and the nice.

Office Lounge

2455 Jefferson Rd., 706-546-0840 Come to our Christmas party with Dwight Wilson & the Classic City Soul at 6 p.m. on Saturday, Dec. 22! We have Karaoke every Wednesday, Blues night every Thursday, Live music every Friday and Saturday, Keno, pool tables and FREE popcorn. Home of the STRONGEST drinks. Happy hour 4–7 p.m. with $2 house shots! Just a good ole neighborhood BAR!

2440 W. Broad St., 706-548-2188 A. LaFera Salon offers a full range of hair services in a fun and friendly atmosphere. Our stylists are committed to creating customized styles that reflect each individual. The staff has had advanced training with Sojourn and Vidal Sassoon, and traveled to the renowned diPietro Todd Academy for master cutting classes, among many others. We are the exclusive distributor of Rene Furterer products in Athens: natural, plant-based products designed to treat from scalp to end. www.alaferasalon.com

Republic Salon

312 E. Broad St. (third floor), 706-208-5222 The perfect present. A gift certificate to the hottest, most luxurious and unique salon in town. Award-winning Republic Salon provides top-quality hair styling, the only color bar around and pampered service, all within a luxurious New York loft environment. A most unforgettable gift of a most indulgent experience. Check us out. We occupy the entire third floor above Magnolias (entrance on Jackson Street). Visit us at www. republicsalon.com.

Rocket Salon

163 N. Jackson St., 706-353-0500 Spiff up with a cut and color before your parties begin in our fun, laid-back atmosphere. Our fanatical fan-base consists of hipsters, rockers, professionals, families and ladies who lunch. Gift certificates or Moroccan oil products make wonderful gifts this holiday season. Thank you for your support the past 7 years. Here’s to 7 more! Happy holidays!

Hotels Foundry Park Inn & Spa

295 E. Dougherty St., 706-549-7020 Have someone who’s been really good this year? The Foundry Park Inn & Spa’s got you covered for one-of-a-kind experiences, ranging from spa gift cards and retail products to private dinners with award-winning chef Steve Vining, romantic in-town getaways and more! Join us at the Melting Point for national, regional and local live entertainment and reserve your dinner & room package for our New Year’s Eve party with Kinchafoonee Cowboys!

Recreation Ciné

234 W. Hancock Ave., 706-353-3343 Athens’ only arthouse cinema presents a full range of motion pictures and artistic events that inspire, educate and build community. Ciné also features an exhibit gallery by local visual artists and the CinéLab—great for events, parties and live performances—with cocktails and treats at the lobby bar. Give the gift of Ciné this holiday season with a gift card, annual membership, or a Dinner + Movie combo package with neighboring restaurant, The National. www.athenscine.com

Restaurants

out your holiday dinner—we have it all. We are available for Holiday Parties and Catering. Gift certificates available for friends and family. Happy Holidays!

Always Baked Goodies Factory Co.

www.athenscookies.com, 706-850-5478 Always Baked will be closed this holiday season as we prepare to move our operation to downtown Athens at 268 N. Jackson St. in January 2013. We look forward to providing you with our made-from-scratch goodies again soon!! Always Baked wishes each and everyone of you a very merry Holiday Season and a happy New Year! Thanks for a great first year. See ya downtown!!!

Heirloom Cafe & Fresh Market

815 N. Chase St., 706-354-7901 Let us help you with your holidays! We will have sides and desserts available for holiday dinners (you can order online), as well as some great stocking stuffers (jam, GA olive oil, local honey, Red Mule grits) and host gifts (cheeses, aprons, hot cocoa mix), all sourced from your local community. Take-away catering and gift cards available. www.heirloomathens.com

Buffalo’s Café

Ike & Jane

DePalma’s Italian Cafe

Sabine’s Coffee Haus

196 Alps Rd., 706-354-6655 Holiday Greetings from Rick, Sharon and the Staff of Buffalo’s Café! Buffalo’s Café is the perfect place for your family to celebrate the Holidays or to pick up a Party Platter for when you “go over the river and through the woods to Grandma’s house.” Bring your staff to Buffalo’s Café for your holiday party or luncheon, or we can cater to you. P.S. Gift Cards make a great stocking stuffer!

1307 Prince Ave., 706-850-1580 225 ½ College Ave. Donuts and breakfast, biscuits and lunches… OH, MY! We make all of our goodies in-house every day! It’s all delicious, so come and give us a try. It’s the holiday season, and we’re filled with good cheer, hot cocoa, and lunch to warm you up.

We’ll make your holiday cookies, cakes and pies, so you’re ready to go and pretend they’re your own. Monday–Friday, 6:30 a.m.–5 p.m., Saturday & Sunday, 8 a.m.–2 p.m.

401 E. Broad St., 706-354-6966 2080 Timothy Rd., 706-552-1237 1965 Barnett Shoals Rd., 706-369-0085 DePalma’s Gift Cards are the perfect gift for anyone on your list. Join our AT&T texting program to have our specials and deals (like half-off pizzas, free appetizer…) sent to your phone! See our ad in this issue for details. We offer catering and party trays for all of your holiday events, and our downtown location has a large private party room. Happy Holidays!

Five Star Day Café

229 E. Broad St., 706-543-8552 Bring home your favorite Five Star dish for the holidays.

From collards and black-eyed peas for your New Year’s Day, to sweet potatoes, mac and cheese and squash casserole to round

210 W. Main St., Lexington, 706-743-7777 Sabine’s Coffee Haus is a Germanstyle coffee haus. We offer many Christmas specialty coffees under our own label. These half-pound bags make excellent stocking stuffers.

Check out our other gifts from beeswax candles to German chocolates and treats. Our coffee haus grill is open for German bratwurst and other sausages, Thursday–Saturday, 10 a.m.–5 p.m. Come enjoy a taste of Germany! Fröhe Weihnachten. k continued on next page

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE WINNERS:

INVITES YOU TO

SHOP YOU

ATH

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OFF!

BRING ATHENS HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS!

MICHELLE VAUGHT HOLLY SMITH KRISTINE KOBYLUS CHRIS YETTER CHRISTY SINKSEN MARY BETH JUSTUS RENE SHOEMAKER

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PLEASE COME BY THE FLAGPOLE OFFICE TO CLAIM YOUR GIFT CERTIFICATES OR CALL 706-549-0301.

THANKS TO THE PARTICIPATING LOCAL FLAGPOLE ADVERTISERS: American Classic Tattoo Aromas Wine and Craft Beer Bar Athens Bagel Co. Athens Vertical Pole Dance Academy Aurum Studios Avid Book Shop Barberitos Beth Cyr Jewelry Big City Bread Cafe Cillie’s Ciné Classic Center Cutters Pub Daily Groceries Depalma’s Italian Café DowntownAthens.com Dynamite Clothing Farm 255 5 Points Acupuncture 5 Points Growlers

Five Points Bottle Shop Gone With The Bead Good Dirt The Grit Heirloom Cafe and Fresh Market Hendershot’s Coffee Bar Ike and Jane J’s Bottle Shop Junkman’s Daughter’s Brother Loft Art Supply Mama’s Boy Masada Leather and Outdoor Max Model Citizen Salon Musicians Warehouse Pain and Wonder PeachMac Perry’s Convenience and Liquor R. Wood Studio Ceramics Republic Salon

Rocket Salon Sewcial Studio Sexy Suz Couples Boutique Shenanigans Salon Southern Waterbeds and Futons Square One Fish Co. Strand Hair Studio Ted’s Most Best Ten Pins Tavern 1000Faces Coffee Transmetropolitan Treehouse Kid and Craft Urban Sanctuary Viva Argentine Cuisine White Tiger Gourmet WE ARE A PROUD MEMBER OF:

So whether you are shopping, eating, drinking or seeking entertainment,

THINK LOCAL FIRST! DECEMBER 19, 2012 · FLAGPOLE.COM

11

HOLIDAY GUIDE

continued from p. 11

Transmetropolitan

145 E. Clayton St., 706-613-8773 1550 Oglethorpe Ave., 706-549-5112 Visit both of our locations throughout the holidays for daily lasagna specials, pizzas, pastas, panini and salads. We have daily bar specials, too. Transmetropolitan gift certificates make the perfect gift! Call us to reserve our upstairs room for your Holiday Party. Come to brunch at our Oglethorpe location.

Happy Holidays!

VIVA! Argentine Cuisine

2270 Barnett Shoals Rd., 706-850-8284 VIVA! Argentine Cuisine is an Athens original, locally owned and operated. Serving fresh Argentine-inspired home cooking.

We are ready to cater your next empanada party or cupcake celebration! Special holiday cupcake flavors are now being dreamt up. Our scratch-made soups will warm you up on the coldest day. Gift certificates and t-shirts now available. Why shop when you can give the gift of VIVA?!

238 E. Clayton St., 706-546-5014 In February 1975, a small leather shop was founded in downtown Athens with the idea of creating quality, handcrafted leather work at a reasonable price. Now, over three decades later, MASADA has built a reputation as the state’s leader in fine leather accessories, comfort and hiking footwear, and outdoor apparel. We sincerely hope that you’ll visit our unique shop while you’re here and enjoy the rustic charm and Old-World atmosphere of an Athens landmark.

Musician’s Warehouse Showcase

150 Crane Dr., 706-548-7233 Wondering how to satisfy that musician in your life?

Looking for the perfect gift to make your estranged son/ daughter talk to you again? Want to keep your neighbors up at night? Musician’s Warehouse has what you’re looking for! With the largest selection and best prices around we can satisfy all your musical needs for any size budget. Gift Certificates available. Behind the RaceTrac next to Best Buy. Open every day until Christmas.

Bulldog bean bags $59. Also see our large selection of futons, kids lofts, bunkbeds, platform beds and furniture.The same local owner for 37 years appreciates your business. Thanks for buying local! Across from Georgia Square Mall. Mon.- Sat. 10:00 a.m.- 7 p.m. www.southernwaterbeds.com

Services Athens Video

135 Cedar Shoals Dr., Suite B, 706-354-4200 Media transfers of VHS, mini VHS, 8mm tapes, mini DV tapes and mini DVD discs to DVD or Blu-Ray and transfers of cassettes and LPs to CDs could be the perfect gift for a friend or family member this year. Gift certificates for transfers, duplications, photo scanning or other video services are also available for purchase. Please call us or visit our website at www.athensvideo.net for more information on prices and other available services. Happy Holidays!

Crazy Ray’s Car Wash & Lube

CD Skehan

Retail

Masada Leather & Outdoor

4350 Lexington Rd., 706-316-2222 Is your car due for an oil change?

During December, you will receive a FREE, full, clean car wash with an oil change. We can have your car “shining bright” for the holiday season! Gift certificates are available and make great stocking stuffers! Crazy Ray’s Car Wash offers great service at affordable prices.

Come see us! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Aurum Studios

125 E. Clayton St., 706-546-8826 Celebrating its 37th Anniversary, Aurum has a fabulous selection of platinum, gold and silver jewelry, diamonds, pearls, stunning color and cool beads. Original designs, custom work and repairs are available from six inhouse goldsmiths. The Aurum gallery of American crafts features pottery, glass, wood and paintings by talented regional artists—even Christmas ornaments! Let Aurum’s friendly staff help you find all the gifts you need. Layaway, all charge cards and free gift wrapping.

Pain and Wonder Tattoo

The Cellar Wine and Spirits

2475 Jefferson Hwy., 706-549-2720 Come to The Cellar for all of your holiday shopping! We’re the best place to find Christmas gifts for your Dad. We have a fantastic selection of bourbon, whiskey, beer, wine and more. We carry Cakebread Chardonnay and Cabernet Sauvignon. Come see us for stocking stuffers, and remember to stock up for your New Year’s Eve celebration!

Five Points Bottle Shop

1655 S. Lumpkin St., 706-543-6989 3685 Atlanta Hwy., 706-316-2337 This holiday season Five Points Bottle is stocking the shelves so you can stuff your stocking! Beer and liquor gift sets make wonderful presents. Come browse our huge inventory of seasonal brews and beer growlers for the beer-lover on your list. Our three or six bottle wine club membership is a great gift for the wine connoisseur. Did we mention everyone’s favorite stocking stuffer? Five Points Bottle Gift Certificates!

Remember, No Fake IDs, No Crybabies!

Half-Moon Outfitters

1225 S. Milledge Ave., 706-548-7225 Half-Moon Outfitters offers great customer service for getting you ready for your next adventure. Half-Moon features quality gear for adventure and travel by Patagonia, The North Face, Arc’Teryx, Mountain Hardwear, Petzl and more. Open daily for your shopping convenience. Gift certificates available.

Junkman’s Daughter’s Brother

458 E. Clayton St., 706-543-4454 ‘Twas the day before Xmas/ the shoppers were manic/ Junkman’s is open, no need to panic/ We have earrings and lanterns/ jigsaws and t-shirts/ key chains and vases, handbags and short skirts/ comics and stickers, incense and bangles/ cool shoes and jackets, stuffed toys and candles/ Everything you would need for your special elf/ We make it so easy, there’s time to shop for yourself.

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FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 19, 2012

Native America Gallery

195 E. Clayton St., 706-543-8425 Come in before Christmas to get a free pair of turquoise and silver feather earrings as a special thank you gift! We have free gift wrapping and provide hot cider, cookies and more while you browse. We have a tremendous selection of jewelry, Minnetonka moccasins, boots, purses and hats, plus many more great gifts. Come see us this holiday season!

PeachMac

1850 Epps Bridge Pkwy., 706-208-9990 PeachMac is your source for all things Apple this holiday season. We have a huge selection of iPads, iPods, Macs & AppleTVs, as well as the best stock of iPad, Mac, & iPhone accessories in town. With 12 months interest-free financing available through Dec. 24 for those who qualify, you can give now and pay later. Stop in today for a demonstration of the hottest gifts of the year.

Sexy Suz

4124 Atlanta Hwy., 678-661-0700 Why not get something naughty for the folks on your nice list? Sexy Suz has everything you need to stuff a sexy stocking!

The hottest DVDS to warm you up this winter, adult toys for good lovers, Christmas party gag gifts, Sexy Santa lingerie and so much more. Jingle all the way to our store and the girls will make sure you’re ready for a sexy holiday season!

Southern Waterbeds & Futons

3775 Atlanta Hwy., 706-543-4323 Georgia’s oldest waterbed store features the state’s largest selection of waterbeds, waterbed sheets and all waterbed accessories. This year we’re showing our team spirit with tons of new UGA gifts and decor. Stocking stuffers from $10.

285 W. Washington St., 706-208-9588 This permanent artwork will be the gift that lasts forever. Highest sterilization standards in the industry. Be pierced using implant-quality jewelry.

Gift certificates available. Artists include Chris Parry, Mike Groves, Graham Bradford and Kim Deakins. Piercers include Bethra and Randy. Members National Tattoo Association. Piercers are proud members of the Association of Professional Piercers. www.painandwonder.com, www.virtueandadvice.com

Project Safe, Inc.

www.project-safe.org, 706-549-0922 The holidays are all about giving, and at a time when every penny counts, it’s important to remember that even small donations make a big difference. At Project Safe’s emergency shelter, items like toilet paper, cleaning supplies, trash bags and women’s pajamas are always needed. Donations can be brought to the Project Safe Thrift Store, located at the corner of Hawthorne and Prince avenues in the Bell’s Shopping center, Monday through Saturday 9 a.m.–5 p.m.

Reproductive Biology Associates

1100 Johnson Ferry Rd., Ste. 200, Marietta, 404-257-1900 Have you always wanted to make a difference in someone’s life? Reproductive Biology Associates Egg Donor program is helping women do just that. Some women cannot use their own eggs to conceive a child. Donating eggs to a couple in need can make an immeasurable difference. If you would like to donate the “gift of life,” contact Reproductive Biology Associates at 404-843-0579 or online at www.rba-online.com. Donors are compensated $6,000–$8,000 for their time.

WUGA

www.wuga.org, 706-542-9842 Wishing you the happiest of holidays and a great year in 2013!

WUGA, the Classic 91.7 & 97.9 FM. Your oasis for ideas and the arts. To make a donation, visit www.wuga.org.

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Parade of Ambivalence â&#x20AC;&#x153;Get yourself down to the Parade of Lights,â&#x20AC;? said my editor, Blake Aued. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re bound to be some weird floats you can write about. Like that one a couple years ago that people are still talking about, with the bloody Jesus in a gift box.â&#x20AC;?

Victory Chapel, an evangelical church on the Eastside, would be in the parade again this year. Would they again present a mish-mash of hellfire and holiday kitsch bizarre enough to offend or at least confuse other parade-goers? This yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s parade theme, â&#x20AC;&#x153;A Charlie Brown Christmas,â&#x20AC;? practically guaranteed that the church would come up with some strange gumbo of the sacred and secular that would scare little children and cast a long, cross-shaped shadow over adultsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; holiday cheer.

I tried to imagine how the imposition of a theme as worldly as Snoopy would influence Victory Chapelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s decisions about their float. How would they hew to the paradeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s guidelines and still get their message across? Snoopy in a manger? Charlie Robin Whetstone

Brown, eternal cartoon martyr to Lucyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s football cruelties, decked out in a crown of thorns? Things could get blasphemous and highly photographable very quickly, I realized, so I bundled up my six-year-old daughter and down to the parade we went.

We found the Victory Chapel float sandwiched between the North Georgia Jaycees and the Barnett Shoals Steppers.

The churchâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pastor, Gene LaVelle, was busy assembling the display but cheerfully agreed to talk to me. I asked him how the church planned to incorporate the Charlie Brown theme into their float, and he pointed at a large banner strung up between two poles. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We have no problem at all including Charlie Brown,â&#x20AC;? he said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The whole show hinges on the question that Charlie asks near the end, which weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve quoted here on our banner. He asks, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s when Linus steps up and quotes directly from the Gospel of Luke: â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what Christmas is all about. â&#x20AC;&#x153;So, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going to have the Charlie Brown characters on the front half of the float, in keeping with the theme, and then on the back half weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll have the answer to Charlieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s question.â&#x20AC;?

We walked to the rear of the float, where a large wooden cross lay among boxes wrapped as presents. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Christmas is about the gifts of the spirit,â&#x20AC;? continued LaVelle. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The presents here say â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;salvation,â&#x20AC;&#x2122; â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;peaceâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; and â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;joy.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; These are what the birth of Christ promises us.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;OK,â&#x20AC;? I said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;This is a good message. But in the past, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve had some floats that have disturbed people. A bloody Jesus and all. And here you have this cross. Are you planning on showing Christ on the cross on your float?â&#x20AC;?

â&#x20AC;&#x153;We are, but our Jesus isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t here yet. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s still at work.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;What would you say to people who think that this is just too much death for a holiday parade? I mean, certainly thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a place for death at a holiday parade, but Christ on a cross?

Bloody Jesus in a gift box? Isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Christmas supposed to be about his birth?â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;I can understand peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s reactions. But Christâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s birth has no meaning without his death. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s his birth and his death that saved us.â&#x20AC;?

Well, in for a penny, in for a pound, I suppose. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m no fundamentalist Christian, but there is a certain logic in this viewpoint. If you are a Christian, you do presumably believe that it was Jesusâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; sacrifice of himself that saved mankind. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sort of the point of the whole thing, really. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tempting to edit out the more radical or supernatural aspects of Christianity to make it more palatable for peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;to assert that what it really says is â&#x20AC;&#x153;Just be niceâ&#x20AC;? or â&#x20AC;&#x153;You can be happy.â&#x20AC;? But that makes for a kind of watered-down Christianity that is not much different from a thousand other selfhelp programs and ignores the essential mystery at the heart of the faith.

We said our goodbyes to pastor LaVelle and headed back towards the Flagpole float, from which my daughter would soon be hurling candy.

As we walked, my daughter pointed at the other floats idling on the curb.

Athens Family Foot Care, Carrier Transicold, Athens Neurological Associates and many others have managed to somehow work the Charlie Brown characters into their floats along with the services or products they provide. And, looking at these floats, I experienced a strange inversion of reality that I was not prepared for. All of the sudden, I realized that, in the context of a Christmas parade, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not Pastor LaVelle that made me ask â&#x20AC;&#x153;WTH?â&#x20AC;? It was the Snoopy doghouse next to the giant Carrier logo that made me scratch my head. It was the scary-looking Lucy manning the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Neurosurgery Adviceâ&#x20AC;? booth, and the dumpster strung with Christmas lights, that disoriented and confused me.

Because, honestly, what were we celebrating, here?

Christmas, as brought to us by our local chamber of commerce?

The fact that we have access to lots and lots of blinking lights? Is that it? If I were here by myself I might just ooh and ahh at the amazingly decorated Athens Transit bus (nice job, folks). But Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m here with my daughter, who is just about the same age as the Peanuts characters represented on the floats.

If she were to ask me the same question Charlie did, what would I tell her? Do I say really facile, unsatisfying things about the chance to gather with loved ones and family? Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t we already make a point to do that all year long? Do I rant like Cotton Mather about the secularization of the holiday? Or do I cede the whole thing to Santa and the hope that heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll bring her that book about bacteria sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been asking for? What, really, is Christmas all about?

I do know that I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t tell anyone what her Christmas should mean, and therefore neither can I tell anyone what it shouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t. I guess my best hope is that during this season people would make some space to reflect on the question of the significance of Christmas, and arrive at an answer that speaks to their hearts. For my part, I know what Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be telling and showing my daughter Christmas means this year. To quote Linus quoting Luke 2:14, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, good will toward men.â&#x20AC;?

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#ONCESSIONS WILL BE AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE !DMISSION IS PER PERSON 706-613-3580

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Robin Whetstone

DECEMBER 19, 2012 ¡ FLAGPOLE.COM

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movie dope Some releases may not be showing locally this week.

• indicates new review ALEX CROSS (PG-13) Alex Cross is no Kiss the Girls. In Detective Dr. Cross’ third cinematic case, Tyler Perry takes over for the much more capable Morgan Freeman, who portrayed Cross in Kiss the Girls and Along Came a Spider. This movie would have been more entertaining had Perry also donned his fat suits and pursued Picasso as Cross, Madea and her brother, Joe. AMOUR (PG-13) Michael Haneke returns with another critical darling.

Georges (Jean-Louis Trintignant) and Anne (Emmanuelle Riva) are in their 80s when their love is tested by a major health crisis. His last two films, The White Ribbon and Amour, have won the Cannes Film Festival’s Palme d’Or, and Amour also won four major European Film Awards.

BRAVE (PG) A good, not great, Pixar film, Brave strays into traditional Disney territory after a tremendously magical first act. Headstrong Scottish Princess Merida (wonderfully voiced by the lovely Kelly Macdonald) wants to choose her own destiny. She does not want to marry the first-born of the clans allied with her father (v. Billy Connolly), but her mother, Queen Elinor (v. Emma Thompson), will hear none of her complaints.

CIRQUE DU SOLEIL: WORLDS AWAY (NR) Never been to a Cirque du Soleil show? Now you don’t have to, as producer James Cameron (his last film, Avatar, was kind of a big deal) and director Andrew Adamson (Shrek, Shrek 2, two of the three The Chronicles of Narnia films, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and Prince Caspian) bring the show to a theater near you. The trailers look phenomenal, but I’ll be surprised if this movie picks up any box office traction. Did I mention it’s in 3D? CLOUD ATLAS (R) For the ambitious Cloud Atlas, the Wachowski siblings and Tom Tykwer (Run Lola Run) have masterfully adapted David Mitchell’s award winning novel. Each anecdote stars Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Jim Broadbent, Hugo Weaving, Jim Sturgess, Susan Sarandon, Hugh Grant and more in varying layers of makeup.

While none of the stories warrants their own full-length feature, the six interconnected narratives are interwoven so skillfully and at such a swift pace that no one has enough time to overstay its welcome. The lush, imaginative film’s most serious flaw is its repertory,

several of whom seem out-of-place (Oscar winners Hanks and Berry, most notably) in the film’s fantastical future bookend. (Ciné) COMPLIANCE (R) The second feature from Craig Zobel (Sundance hit, Great World of Sound) sounds absolutely fascinating. Inspired by a true story, Compliance recounts how a Sandra (Ann Dowd), a manager at an Ohio fast food restaurant, chillingly interrogates a young employee, Becky (Dreama Walker, ABC’s “Don’t Trust the B---- in Apartment 23”), at the behest of a caller claiming to be a police officer investigating a crime. (Ciné) ESIMESAC (NR) Luc Picard directs this French film based on the stories of famed French storyteller, Fred Pellerin.

A young man is determined to help his hungry community in the small Québécois town of St-Élie-de-Caxton by building a public garden. However, his largesse is threatened when a railway company proposes a profitable rail station in the town and promises the young man generous compensation for helping with the construction.

FLIGHT(R) Robert Zemeckis returns to live action movies for adults (since 2000’s Cast Away) with this Denzel Washington-starring, after-work special about alcoholism dressed up as an airplane crash drama. Captain Whip Whitaker (Washington) may be a great pilot, but he’s not such a great guy. Yet while hungover, still drunk and high on coke, Whitaker saves most of the 102 souls on flight 227 after a mechanical failure requires him to pull off an unconventional crash landing.

THE GUILT TRIP (PG-13) Inventor Andy Brewster (Seth Rogen) hits the road with his mother, Joyce (Barbra Streisand), in a quest to sell his newest invention. Dan Fogelman can be forgiven for the story he contributed to Cars 2 because of his brilliant Crazy, Stupid, Love. I’m not sure what to say about choreographer-turned-director Anne Fletcher. Step Up and The Proposal are okay; 27 Dresses is not.

With Adam Scott, Colin Hanks, Danny Pudi and Kathy Najimy.

HITCHCOCK (PG-13) The second Hitchcock biopic this year—HBO recently aired The Girl with Toby Jones and Sierra Miller—looks to pick up some year-end awards with Anthony Hopkins starring as the famed auteur.

Sacha Gervasi follows up his exceptional documentary, Anvil: The Story of Anvil, with a Hitchcockian love story

CI N E M AS Movie showtimes are not available by our deadline. Please check cinema websites for accurate information.

CINÉ • 234 W. Hancock Ave. • 706-353-3343 • www.athenscine.com GEORGIA MUSEUM OF ART • (UGA Campus) 90 Carlton St. • 706-542-GMOA • www.uga.edu/gamuseum/calendar/films.html TATE STUDENT CENTER • (UGA Campus) 45 Baxter St. • 706-542-6396 • www.union.uga.edu/movies Beechwood Stadium cinemas 11 • 196 Alps Rd. • 706-546-1011 • www.georgiatheatrecompany.com Carmike 12 • 1570 Lexington Rd. • 706-354-0016 • www.carmike.com Georgia Square value cinemas 5 • 3710 Atlanta Hwy. • 706-548-3426 • www.georgiatheatrecompany.com

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FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 19, 2012

about Hitch and his wife, Alma Reville (Helen Mirren), during the 1959 filming of Psycho.

• THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY (PG-13) How comforting it is to return to Middle-earth, especially with Peter Jackson (he replaced original director Guillermo del Toro, who retained a co-writing credit with Lord of the Rings Oscar winners Jackson, Fran Walsh and Philippa Boyens).

Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman) is asked by the wizard Gandalf the Grey (Ian McKellan) to join a company of Dwarves led by Thorin Oakenshield (Richard Armitage). Jackson and his writing cohort have expanded Tolkien’s single novel into three films by adding sequences from the series’ appendices, a decision that allows this first film to be paced a bit logily in getting the company on the road. While this first film lacks the epicness of Jackson’s previous series entries, it makes up for it with its comically entertaining dwarves and rousing action sequences.

nearly 10 years ago, the ineffective trailers for Ang Lee’s adaptation failed to remind me of how wonderful and energetic Pi Patel’s life had been. I recalled a shipwreck, a lifeboat and a Bengal tiger named Richard Parker. The imaginatively conceived and beautifully told work of art created by Brokeback Mountain Oscar winner Lee, who certainly deserves his third nomination, reminded me of the many, small joys that add up to make the life of Pi. Do not let the underwhelming previews deprive you of one of the year’s most moving, most artistic films of the year.

LINCOLN (PG-13) Historical biopics do not come much more perfect than Steven Spielberg’s take on our 16th president’s struggle to end slavery by way of the 13th Amendment. Rather than tell Abraham Lincoln’s life story, screenwriter Tony Kushner (the Oscar nominee for Munich also wrote the excellent “Angels in America”) chose the ideal, earth-shattering month upon which to focus. He populates

I can’t wait until both my typewriter and cigarettes are electric.

THE IMPOSSIBLE (PG-13) One of the buzzier films entering the yearend awards season, The Impossible dramatizes the real life story of a family (played by Naomi Watts, Ewan McGregor, Tom Holland, Samuel Joslin and Oaklee Pendergast) that survived one of the worst natural disasters of our time, the tsunami that hit the Indian Ocean in 2004. Newcomer Holland’s performance has been generating Best Supporting Actor talk. The film marks the awaited English-language debut of The Orphanage director, Juan Antonio Bayona.

JACK REACHER (PG-13) Tom Cruise brings Lee Child’s popular character, Jack Reacher, to the big screen with hopes of a new franchise to replace (supplement) Mission: Impossible.

Reacher, a former U.S. Army MP, lives the life of a drifter, traveling from town to town, helping those in need; the movie is based on Child’s ninth Reacher novel, One Shot. Director Christopher McQuarrie won an Oscar for his script of The Usual Suspects.

KILLING THEM SOFTLY (R) Two small-timers, Frankie (Scoot McNairy, who needs to be a bigger star) and Russell (Ben Mendelsohn), knock over a mob-connected card game run by Markie Trattman (Ray Liotta). Seeing as Markie’s previously knocked over the game, they assume Markie will be dealt with and that will be that. But when enforcer Jackie Cogan (Brad Pitt) shows up, he figures out the plot, and the blood starts to flow.

LIFE OF PI (PG) Having last thought of Yann Martel’s novel when I read it

Spielberg’s 19th-century hallways with living, breathing figures of American history like William Seward (David Strathairn), Thaddeus Stevens (Tommy Lee Jones), Alexander Stephens (Jackie Earle Haley), Edwin Stanton (Bruce McGill) and Ulysses S. Grant (Jared Harris), but the film will be remembered and lauded as another platform from which Daniel Day-Lewis can solidify his claim to the title of greatest living actor.

LOOPER (R) Whoa! Ever since Brick, I have waited for Rian Johnson to make good on that coolly stylish teen-noir’s immense promise. Johnson might still have better films to come, but this tricksy, time travel, sci-fi noir ensures Brick’s promise has been fulfilled. In a future where time travel is an illegal reality, hitmen called loopers wait in the past for gangsters to send them their targets. Armed with a blunderbuss, Joe (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) awaits his marks, knowing one day he will have to “close the loop,” meaning kill his older self.

MONSTERS, INC. (G) Disney is re-releasing Monsters, Inc. in 3D to remind audiences of Sulley and Mike before June’s prequel, Monsters University. The cute story involves top scarer Sulley (v. John Goodman) and his pal, Mike (v. Billy Crystal), whose lives are turned upside down when a child ventures into Monstropolis.

NOT FADE AWAY (R) “The Sopranos”’ David Chase directs his first feature film (a kind of surprising fact), a period drama set in the 1960s suburbs of New Jersey about

a group of friends looking to hit it big as a rock band. The cast includes “Sopranos” and “Wire” alums like James Gandolfini and Isiah “Sheee-it” Whitlock Jr., as well as other veteran supporters like Brad Garrett and Christopher McDonald and youngsters John Magaro (My Soul to Take), Will Brill and Jack Huston (“Boardwalk Empire”). l ON THE ROAD (R) Has it really been almost 10 years since Walter Salles’ wonderful Che Guevara movie, The Motorcycle Diaries? Salles, who also directed Central Station, brings Jack Kerouac’s seminal novel to the big screen, and sadly, most of the buzz revolves around Twilight’s Kristen Stewart’s nude scene. I’m excited to see Sal Paradise (Sam Riley, Control’s Ian Curtis), Dean Moriarty (Garrett Hedlund) and Marylou (Stewart) cross the country and meet a cast of characters played by Amy Adams, Viggo Mortensen, Steve Buscemi, Kirsten Dunst, Elisabeth Moss, Terrence Howard and more.

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 4 (R) While the quality of Paranormal Activity 4 is little changed from its three predecessors (they are all above-average examples of how to shoot found footage flicks), the tense atmosphere, where the scares collectively imagined and anticipated by the audience are so much more terrifying than anything delivered by the film, is utterly absent.

PLAYING FOR KEEPS (PG-13) Blessed with charisma, looks and that accent, Gerard Butler unfortunately lacks the fundamental ability to judge a movie based on its script. It’s either that or the ugly alternative: he just does not care that the majority of movies he chooses to make are not very good.

Playing for Keeps follows in the mediocre footsteps of P.S. I Love You, The Ugly Truth and The Bounty Hunter.

RED DAWN (PG-13) This preposterous movie borne of the Cold War fears and tensions of the 1980s need not have been remade. A motley group of teenagers stage an insurgency against communist invaders; the North Koreans, with an assist from the Russians, replace the original’s Soviet/Cuban alliance. The idea that these teens could transform into an elite fighting force so quickly either underestimates North Korean military readiness or overestimates American teenagers’ military prowess.

RISE OF THE GUARDIANS (PG) Author William Joyce’s very cool idea is brought to the big screen by firsttime animated feature director Peter Ramsey and fantastical executive producer Guillermo del Toro. Holiday legends North (aka Santa, who is voiced very Russianly by Alec Baldwin), Bunny (v. Hugh Jackman) and Tooth (v. Isla Fisher) are joined by Jack Frost (v. Chris Pine) as they do battle with the evil Pitch (v. Jude Law). Imagining massive audiences of children falling hard for this potential animated franchise is not hard.

THE SESSIONS (R) Living most of his life in an iron lung, poet Mark O’Brien (John Hawkes, the Winter’s Bone Oscar nominee who is probably on his way to a second nom) decides he wants to lose his virginity. After consulting with his therapist and his priest (an ever-excellent William H. Macy), Mark hires a sex surrogate (a very naked Helen Hunt, who could be

looking at another Oscar nomination) to help him fulfill his fantasy. This being a sweetly awkward romance, the relationship grows more personal than either party expects. (Ciné) SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 5: THE TOY MAKER (R) 1991. Mickey Rooney plays a toy maker named Joe Petto (get it?) who, along with his son, Pino, make murderous toys. (Ciné) SINISTER (R) Sinister, the new film from Scott Derrickson, is my favorite theatrical horror experience since The Strangers. Ethan Hawke intensely stars as true crime novelist Ellison Oswalt, who has moved his family—pretty wife, tween son, young daughter—into the murder house for the latest crime he is investigating. What he discovers is much deadlier and more demony than he could have imagined.

SKYFALL (PG-13) The middle third of Daniel Craig’s third outing as James Bond is the best 007 adventure in 20, maybe even 30, years. Too bad director Sam Mendes (American Beauty) and his team of scripters won’t just let Bond be Bond for the entirety of the film.

SMASHED (R) The sophomore feature from Athens’ own James Ponsoldt is a gut-wrenching, though often funny, look at alcoholism and the road to recovery that deserves the festival/ award buzz surrounding it. Mary Elizabeth Winstead gives a possibly career-making, hopefully award-winning performance as the challenging Kate. (Ciné) TAKEN 2 (PG-13) Most movies fail to encapsulate the description “unnecessary sequel” as perfectly as Taken 2.

(I wish it had had some silly subtitle like Taken 2: Takenier, but alas.) As a consequence of the violent methods he employed to retrieve his kidnapped daughter, Kim (Maggie Grace), in the first movie, retired CIA operative Bryan Mills (Liam Neeson), must face off against the Albanian dad (played by go-to Eastern European baddie Rade Serbedzija) of one of the sex traffickers he killed during his rescue mission.

THIS IS 40 (R) Judd Apatow spins off his most successful film, Knocked Up, by playing catch-up with popular supporting characters, Pete (Paul Rudd) and Debbie (Apatow’s wife, Leslie Mann). This idea is much better than a sequel starring Seth Rogen or Katherine Heigl.

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN—PART 2 (PG-13) The Twilight Saga has consistently improved as filmmakers have changed and the series has… um… matured?

Bella (Kristen Stewart) is now a vampire; she and her husband, Edward (Robert Pattinson), have a new baby, Renesmee, whose existence threatens the vampire world’s ruling family, the Volturi (led by Michael Sheen). The terrible CGI work—the needlessly computer-generated baby Renesmee vies for the worst special effect of 1992—shows the lack of serious craftsmanship with which this material has been handled.

WRECK-IT RALPH (PG) In Disney’s latest, Wreck-It Ralph (v. John C. Reilly), the bad guy from popular arcade game Fix-It Felix Jr., decides he wants to be a good guy. Leaving the safety of his own regenerating world, Ralph enters a Halo-ish first-person shooter named Hero’s Duty in search of a medal. Too bad Ralph is better at wrecking things than fixing them.

ZERO DARK THIRTY (NR) Kathryn Bigelow and scripter Mark Boal follow up The Hurt Locker, with another smart military flick. A recount of the attack on the compound of Osama bin Laden and the decade-long hunt leading up to it has generated some controversy.

Jessica Chastain, Joel Edgerton, Mark Strong and Chris Pratt appear as the members of SEAL Team 6 employees.

Drew Wheeler

movie pick

Five Points Bottle Shop BEER

Oblomov of Williamsburg THE COMEDY (R) The first scene of director/ co-writer Rick Alverson’s The Comedy (now on demand) dares you to laugh: a spongy 30-something man-child, Swanson (Tim Heidecker), slouches in a chair, gobbling cookies while sipping whiskey at the bedside of his dying father. Swanson, in his affectless manner, provokes the nurse caring for his father with a series of obscene comments.

After a seemingly interminable time, Swanson gets the desired result when the nurse storms out of the room. When not pestering strangers, the bearded Swanson (who lives on a boat) loafs with his own kind, boozing away and inexplicably managing to seduce women. Through the haze, however, Swanson attempts to connect with some kind of authentic life in a series of bizarre interactions with vari- Tim Heidecker ous strangers. He even gets a job as a dishwasher. Is his pretension to reinvent himself sincere or just another meaningless fancy?

We’ve seen slobs like this in the movies before, immature men who keep us charmed and laughing despite their aggressive boorishness and insensitivity to others—early Bill Murray, Jack Black and Zach Galifianakis.

Swanson is not one of those guys. In the real world, he’s just a privileged member of the

new idle class who’s quick with a brutal barb or shocking non sequitur. He’s a Brooklyn hipster, suffocating on the fumes of his impoverished soul. As played by comedian Heidecker (“Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!”), the cow-eyed Swanson is insufferable and aggravating, presumptuously setting up people around him as punchlines in non-existent comedy routines that only he gets. It’s a seamlessly brilliant performance, and one that feels uncomfortably accurate.

It’s always risky when a filmmaker constructs an entire movie around an unlikable character. There are several moments in the anti-comedic The Comedy that are clearly designed to keep us at a distance, never more so than in a crushingly heartless late scene involving Swanson and a woman he’s about to sleep with. It’s those moments of clarity, however, when Alverson does pull back to examine his subject with a critical eye that keeps The Comedy from turning into a pointless undertaking. It’s a punishing character study, and you may want to grab the nearest Marx Brothers DVD afterward to clean your head. But hate the character, not the messenger.

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FLAGPOLE.COM â&#x2C6;&#x2122; DECEMBER 19, 2012

Mark Ellers

It

is a tour night at Terrapin Brewing Company and a company,â&#x20AC;? according to Cochran in his response to a blog post crowd is slowly gathering in the fenced-in lot adjoinon Aleheads.com regarding the recent Terrapin developments. ing the brewery. On the way back from the employee Despite facing some criticism surrounding the business side parking lot, owner John Cochran stops to admire the new grain of Terrapinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s growth, there seems to be no doubt that there silos being installed. The silos are only part of the new brewing is a high level of respect for Cochran and Terrapinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s products system being put in place by Terrapin. Upon completion, it will throughout the East Coast craft-beer culture. Cochran holds have a brewery capable of producing four times the beer it cur- the same respect for his fellow industry leaders and newcomers rently turns out. This is a big step for Cochranâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s small business. alike.

While running a brewery may seem like a unique small busiHe has a love for the growing Southeast craft brew culture. ness, Cochran faces many of the same obstacles other business It wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t the smartest business decision to open up a brewery owners face. To creditors, business is business, and they arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t in Athens, GA, but Cochran was adamant about spreading what willing to take beer as payment. There were several times when he experienced during his time selling insurance in Seattle to Cochran thought they were going to have to shut down, but the Southeast. somehow things always seemed to work out. This was often â&#x20AC;&#x153;When I moved to Seattle, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll never forget, the first night I thanks to the varied support system Cochran has surrounding went out to a bar, they had 20 taps, which was unheard of here him. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;cause most places had about four, six or eight taps, and out of Arguably, the most important is his co-founder and the those 20, every single one of them was a beer from within 40 brewmaster of Terrapin Beer, Spike Buckowski. The two met miles away. It blew my mind,â&#x20AC;? Cochran recalls. while working at Marthasville Brewing Company in Atlanta.

He had been homebrewing for fun since he was in college at Having received a formal education in brewing from the the University of Georgia, but it was not until after his time in American Brewerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Guild in 1996, Buckowski was ready to take Seattle that Cochran realized he wanted to be involved in the his craft to the next level, and Cochran was the right man to brewery business. After moving back to Atlanta, Cochran found partner with. work as a volunteer at Marthasville Brewing Company and subâ&#x20AC;&#x153;John and I are basically total opposites. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m more of the sequently worked his way up until he decided to found his own creative side as far as recipes and making beers, where John is brewery with Buckowski in 2002, three years after its concepmore on the numbers side. So, I think we have a good working tion and initial planning. relationship because weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re both different,â&#x20AC;? says Buckowski.

Cochran and co-founder Buckowski are a perfect example of how it takes more than just a great product to attain success.

After all, they knew they had an above-average product six months in when their flagship beer, the Rye Pale Ale, won the American Pale Ale Gold Medal at the Great American Beer Festival. Their first beerâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;their only entryâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and they won gold at one of the most prestigious beer competitions in the country.

But as John Cochranâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wife and former Terrapin financial control analyst Irene Cochran points out, â&#x20AC;&#x153;No matter how good your product is, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not going to sell if you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t brand it.â&#x20AC;?

Ireneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dollars-and-cents mentality is another saving grace of the Terrapin Beer Company. Many Terrapin owner John Cochran of the skills she gained while working in finance with the Coca-Cola Company were pivotal in His personal and business values focus on the community, keeping Terrapin afloat amid their early-and-often woes with which is evidenced in Terrapinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s events. Just about every week, creditors. â&#x20AC;&#x153;If it were not for my wife, this wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be going on there is an event being held at the brewery to raise money now,â&#x20AC;? Cochran admits. or awareness for local organizations. Terrapin is a part of the It was no surprise to Cochran that he would face adversity community, and the community is a part of Terrapin. The comwhen establishing a brewery in Georgia, of all places. When pany employs just under 40 people and has about 30 regular Terrapin opened its doors in 2002, the culture of craft beer in volunteers on staff. Volunteers like Ari Koschorke are just beer the Southeast was nearly non-existent. Very few restaurants, fans who want to be involved with the product they love. even in a big-city like Atlanta, carried craft beer. â&#x20AC;&#x153;John is super laid-back and is really open about talking â&#x20AC;&#x153;My wife would make fun of me because I would go into about the industry to people who are interested and always a restaurant and ask what beers they had on tap and I would more than willing to give advice,â&#x20AC;? Koschorke says. get the list and be like, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Nah, I think Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll have water,â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;? Cochran Cochranâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s candid nature is appreciated both by Terrapinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s recalls. â&#x20AC;&#x153;But now you can go into even very mainstream places anxious-to-learn volunteers as well as the community of stuand theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll carry some of the higher end craft stuff.â&#x20AC;? dents he is likely to meet with for projects. Sitting in the conIt is the purchasing of a minority stake in Terrapin by ference room with a group of three UGA marketing students, Tenth and Blake (a division of beer giant MillerCoors) which he cites examples and detailed stories that come together to has allowed Terrapin to expand in the way they would like, form an articulate response to each question. Cochran is overalthough T&Bâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s involvement has riled up a number of craft shadowed by a large, white easel pad filled to each edge with brew fanatics who are skeptical about the consequences of details underneath the title â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hop Harvest.â&#x20AC;? Nearby, a stack teaming up with the perceived â&#x20AC;&#x153;enemyâ&#x20AC;? of the industry. of empty Terrapin beer cases are in the corner. These boxes Cochran insists that the capital Tenth and Blake provided now fill what used to be empty space in the brewery for tour Terrapin has resulted in more freedom for him and Buckowski patrons to gather. Now pallet after pallet engulf visitors who in running their business, not less. In fact, the initial loan must now spend their evenings at Terrapin entirely outside. from Tenth and Blake was used to buy out a group of eight This visible sign is merely an initial indicator of the Terrapin individual investors who hoped to force Cochran and Cochran expansion yet to come in the following months and years. to sell Terrapin to a â&#x20AC;&#x153;West Coast beverage equity fund investor who stated he was bringing in outside management to run the Mark Ellers

grub notes

THE FLAGPOLE OFFICE CLOSES DEC. 21 AT 3PM AND REOPENS JAN. 2

Broad Street Eats Virtue: The little building at Broad just up from Hancock most famous for housing the Arctic Girl and, later, Walterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s BBQ, has undergone a lot of transition lately, turning over tenants every year or so. But does that mean the location is cursed? Or has it just been unlucky? After all, neither hot dogs nor BBQ is a particularly high-profit genre of cuisine.

Vanessa and Juan Molina, who recently moved back to Athens (he played in bands including Time Toy and Squalls), opened Broad Street Coffee (1660 W. Broad St.) in the space a few weeks ago, and they instantly made the tiny quarters their own. Remodeled to include tables and chairs inside, in unquestionably intimate arrangement, it is cozy rather than cramped, with fresh flowers and many cute decorating details.

The name is confusing. Yes, the restaurant serves coffee (Counter Culture), iced tea, homemade hot chocolate, fancy sodas and crazy expensive smoothies ($6.95!), but Christina Cotter

Broad Street Coffee it also serves considerably more. The ittybitty kitchen is turning out vegan cuisine and baked goods for breakfast/brunch, lunch and dinner, with a sizable menu of organic produce-based dishes. Technically, Broad Street isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t 100 percent veganâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Juan says coffee isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t coffee without real milkâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;but that one dairy product is the only exception, and you can also have your caffeine with soy, rice, almond or even hemp milk. The bacon is tempeh, the cheese is made sans milk, and the â&#x20AC;&#x153;no huevos rancherosâ&#x20AC;? uses tofu as its base.

The restaurant is also toward the virtuous end of the vegan spectrum, relying little on oil or easy shortcuts to flavor, much like the dearly departed GymnopĂŠdie. That makes it a harder sell to anyone who isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t vegan, like yours truly.

The plates are cutely put together, sandwiches arriving on nice serving-ware and joined by sides of sautĂŠed kale and Asian cabbage salad. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard to do wrong with kale, one of the loveliest and tastiest, not to mention healthiest, members of the brassica genus, and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not that Broad Street does, exactly, but the stuff needs a firmer hand, either a more aggressive sautĂŠ or a bit of massaging to soften up its tough cell walls. Some of the offerings succeed reasonably well, like the BLT with tempeh bacon, avocado, lettuce, tomato, alfalfa sprouts and spicy veganaise on good homemade bread and the pasta veggie bowl, which tosses angel hair with kale,

olives, vegetables and whole roasted garlic, the latter ingredient supplying fragrance and flavor both. Others have a little way to go.

The seaweed salad, which combines red dulse and green wakame seaweed with veggies and an Asian dressing, needs more protein than the sprinkling of toasted sesame seeds can provide and, despite filling your tummy, will leave you hungry and cranky a few hours later. The burrito (black beans, rice, vegan cheese, mushrooms, avocado, tomatoes, onions, peppers and jalapenos, with sides of vegan sour cream and a mango salsa) isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t as exciting as its description; the rice is a touch undercooked, and you might well be able to assemble a superior one that would be less organic but equally animal-friendly at one of Athensâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; many burrito joints.

The â&#x20AC;&#x153;We Love Kaleâ&#x20AC;? salad is a nice combination of antioxidants, with red onion, garlic, raisins, blueberries and walnuts nestled among the central green, but the red peppers it includes take over the dish, as they tend to do, and could be scrapped. The baked goods are excellent.

The chocolate chip cookies are as good as any in town that contain eggs and butter, and the kitchen doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t skimp on the chocolate, which almost runs like a layer through the middle of the cookie, and the coffee cake, if you are lucky enough to catch it warm from the oven, is outstanding.

The restaurant is young yet, and it clearly has a devoted audience, but there are things it offers that should please anyone, and its focus on presentation is welcome. Its current hours are 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Mondayâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Friday and 8:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. weekends, and it takes credit cards.

Indulgence: If, on the other hand, you want a burger and a milkshake made with beef and dairy products, Steak â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;N Shake is operating at 2033 W. Broad, just down the street, and is executing at just the level it should be. A milkshake with your lunch may leave you logy later in the day, but it may be worth it, especially the limited-edition peppermint chocolate chip version now pouring. The burgers are just as you remember them, if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve ever been to another location: well sized (i.e., not too big), with nice, crisp edges and uneven shape, of the flat rather than tall school, and simple. Yes, you can get lots of toppings, but you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to. The fries are thin and equally spartan, but reliable. Service is seriously trained, and despite the constant stream of customers, things seem to be running with impressive smoothness. The restaurant is open 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. every day, has drivethrough and take-out as well as eat-in and takes credit cards.

What Up?: Creature Comforts, a 30-barrel brewhouse, will open in the 297 W. Hancock Ave. space recently vacated by Snow Tire.

Hillary Brown food@flagpole.com

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FLAGPOLE.COM â&#x2C6;&#x2122; DECEMBER 19, 2012

January: Prolific songwriter Steven Trimmer decided to turn his rock band Glasscrafts into a Zen Buddhist pop project. The change in focus was announced during a particularly arduous, 14-hour â&#x20AC;&#x153;Live in the Lobbyâ&#x20AC;? performance at WUOG 90.5 FM. Although it was not officially scheduled for that length, since none of the WUOG staff had shown up to the station since winter break, Trimmer just powered through. Towards the end, he announced, â&#x20AC;&#x153;The kingdom of heaven must be taken by storm!â&#x20AC;? When asked for clarification, he said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hell, man, I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know. It sounded good, though, right?â&#x20AC;?

in empty calories, due to the entire season being sponsored by Pabst Blue Ribbon. In other news, approximately half of the music scene went on tour; the other half was really glad to be able to pick up those shifts. And a surprising amount of longtime Athens musicians were married in June, because, at heart, they were really a bunch of old softies. Their friends were pleased to be invited and doubly thrilled to have a plus-one on the list.

September: More than a few local musicians slapped their heads when they realized the window for â&#x20AC;&#x153;going back to schoolâ&#x20AC;? had passed.

Mostly, these were the sort of townie-jocks who had always flabbergasted their friends with their extensive knowledge of Georgia football and were now totally bummed they wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be in the pool for student tickets.

Meanwhile, The Agendaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s frontman, Justin Robinson, was quoted as saying, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Look, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m from Augusta, and if you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think I know how to get a ticket, come spend some time on our streets. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll learn ya.â&#x20AC;? Suffice it to say, the point was conceded, as literally no one was willing to spend time on the streets of Augusta.

February: As usual, nearly everyone forgot about Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day until the evening of the 13th, when they hastily texted that one girl or guy they had been sorta seeing so they could at least say, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Well, I tried.â&#x20AC;? Mostly, people just wound up at Go Bar, where groove master DJ Mahogany hosted his trademark â&#x20AC;&#x153;What Becomes of the Broken Hearted When They Ease on Down the Road? Do They Know Where Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re Going To?â&#x20AC;? party, which lasted well into the night. Longtime Athens MP3J Dan Geller was a bit miffed, as he had been on deck to spin â&#x20AC;&#x153;Come on Eileenâ&#x20AC;? for the billionth time, but thankfully, Mahogany played a few Blur tracks, so everything was smooth sailing.

Kai Riedl k March: As usual, the entire month was consumed by people participating in, or October: This, of course, was the month that avoiding, conversations related to South by every wacky concept/cover band competed Southwest. Meanwhile, Kai Riedl launched for attention on the Athens stage. Highlights his inaugural Slingshot Festival, as a way included Muuy Biien as Limp Bizkit, Shitty of snaring touring bands en route to Austin.

Candy & The Circus Peanuts as Odd Future Although some came and then went, more Wolf Gang Kill Them All and Tunabunny than a few broke down in Athens and stayed. as the USA for Africa band, performing a Thanks a lot, Riedl! You feed â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;em.

45-minute version of â&#x20AC;&#x153;We Are The Worldâ&#x20AC;? at Hendershotâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Coffee Bar. The audience, April: I successfully petitioned the upper comprised largely of walk-ins who had no idea management at Flagpole to let me rebrand what was happening, were pleasantly surthis column as â&#x20AC;&#x153;Treats & Positives,â&#x20AC;? so there prised to hear some music they actually knew, would be a way to give out thumbs-ups and instead of whatever bang-around tunes Scott gold stars to everyone. I became especially Creney felt like playing that day. enthusiastic about local bands who only ever attended their own shows, answered questions November/December: As we entered into with a shrug and were overtly political, in a the holiday season, everyone was really sorry softball way. April Foolâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s! they got your texts so late, otherwise they would have totally come to that thing you May: Half the bands in town broke up hosted. (They didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even have any idea you because at least one member had graduated had sent them a Facebook invitation. They from UGA. But from the remnants of each really should check those things more group came at least three side projects. often.) For the most part, though, our humble Bandcamp and Soundcloud were overwhelmed several hundred threw their arms around by the countless terabytes of tossed-off demos each other and said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I love you, manâ&#x20AC;? more originating from Athens and had to radically times than any reasonable person should. re-think their business models. Thus, Athens And as we slipped loudly into 2014, we all became a game-changer once again. asked ourselves that burning question: â&#x20AC;&#x153;What happened?â&#x20AC;?

June/July/August: Ah, summer in Athens.

This was the season of AthFest, endless Happy New Year, yâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;all! parties and unsleepable heat waves. Every pound we lost in sweat we gained doubly Gordon Lamb threatsandpromises@flagpole.com

Jeremy Ayers

Great Holiday Gift Ideas

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s normal to experience bouts of nostalgia and whimsy at the close of the year. Out with the old, in with the new, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Auld Lang Syne,â&#x20AC;? etc. To make things easier on all of you, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve compiled all the major Athens music news for the year ahead, so you can get a jump on things and have one less thing to keep up with. Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not linger on the past: Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s everything you need to know from 2013â&#x20AC;Ś

mixtape wars

the ultimate road song. The barking dog at the end still freaks me out.

Craig Lieske’s reaction: Never been a Buckingham or Fleetwood Mac fan, but this is a fun way to start a holiday mixtape.

‘Tis the Season: Lieske vs. Weathersby “I’m shit on Christmas music, because I generally despise it,” says guitarist and experimental guru Craig Lieske. A sucker for sad songs, Lieske managed to corral the weird wonder of the holiday season into a highly entertaining, hilariously glum 12-song mix.

Mark Weathersby (AKA DJ Mahogany), on the other hand, is an unabashed fan of all the joy that accompanies the season and its most painfully earnest music. A pairing this disparate was a risky one, but somehow, the two managed to find middle ground. Some might even call it a miracle.

Craig Lieske’s Mixtape

9. “We Free Kings” by Roland Kirk CL: Great early-period tune by that undisputed master of the saxophone. The association is obvious, but I’m sure Mr. Kirk didn’t intend this as a Christmas tune at all.

MW: This track is like a wild feeding frenzy. Imaging putting it on while Christmas dinner is being served. Everyone would go nuts… in a good way.

10. “Christmastime Is Here (Vocal Version)” by Vince Guaraldi CL: I have a penchant for sad holiday music. Not sure ol’ Vince intended his song to be sad, but it does have a wistful air to it.

1. “Little Saint Nick” by The Beach Boys 2. “The Christmas Song” by Andy Williams Why Craig Lieske picked these tracks: My mom always played these [songs] at Christmas. Every time I hear these songs, I feel like a kid again.

Mark Weathersby’s reaction: [“Little Saint Nick”] This is one of my favorite Christmas songs as well. I really dig how The Beach Boys turn Santa Claus into one hip dude! [“The Christmas Song”] That voice and the beautiful orchestration! I’ve never heard Andy’s rendition of this classic. It definitely puts me in the Christmas spirit.

3. “Santa Claus and His Old Lady” by Cheech and Chong MW: I got into this track a few years ago. I love weird, offkilter stuff like this, and it just makes me smile every time I listen to it.

CL: “Don’t you know who Santa Claus is, man?” “Yeah, I played with them at the Fillmore.” Ha! I love how the background music keeps swelling up like they’re about to burst into song, and it never happens.

4. “Christmas in the City” by Marvin Gaye MW: This haunting instrumental gets under my skin, in a good way. I discovered this gem through a dear friend of mine, and every time I listen to it I feel as if the ghost of Christmas past is always right around the corner.

CL: This is also new to me. This was recorded at Marvin’s artistic peak, in the early ‘70s. Pity there’s no vocal on it, but it’s a great song, nonetheless.

5. “What Do the Lonely Do at Christmas?” by The Emotions MW: Another song I heard growing up on WBAD. I loved the music and would sing along (my dad bought the 45 for me because I loved it so much), but it wasn’t until years later that I listened to the lyrics and realized what a sad song this was.

CL: I love it! Sad holiday music. Great performance of a great song!

3. “Your Cheatin’ Heart” by Hank Williams CL: I heard this song on my way to my grandparents’ house at an L&K restaurant somewhere in Ohio.

They had personal jukeboxes on every table at that place. I was fascinated. Ever since then, I associate this song with the holidays.

MW: Craig, what a wonderful memory and a wonderful song. It’s really awesome that you associate a beautiful, bummed-out tune with Christmas.

6. “Christmas Gift” by Margie Joseph MW: This really isn’t a holiday song per se, it’s a soul song with lyrics about Christmas. I feel like my holiday isn’t right if I don’t listen to this.

CL: Sweet song. Better than Styx as a holiday pick, methinks.

4. “Island Girl” by Elton John CL: My very first record I ever got as a Christmas gift. The association is obvious.

MW: First Christmas record—impressive. I love the idea of listening to a great tropical song during wintery times.

Craig Gabe Vodicka

5. “The Grand Illusion” by Styx CL: My cousin Larry had a great stereo. This was one of his personal favorites at the time, and I have great holiday memories of hanging out with him and his brother Rick and listening to this.

MW: I’m a Styx fan, but I don’t know how this track has slipped by me all these years. I really dig it, especially the lyrics—and the stereo separation is killer! Sounds like it should be in some trippy rock musical, à la Tommy or The Wall.

2. “Santa Claus Is a Black Man” by AKIM and The Teddy Vann Production Company MW: Growing up in Greenville, MS, I used to hear this song every Christmas on my hometown station, WBAD 94.3 FM. It still cracks me up every time I listen to this moving, wonderful, sweet piece of ridiculous trash.

CL: Hilarious! Never heard this one before.

6. “Santa’s Beard” by They Might Be Giants CL: Just a great damn song, period.

MW: Wow! What a funky new wave groove, short and to the point (less than two minutes!) The lyrics are true They Might Be Giants-style. This one will definitely be in my new Christmas rotation from now on. Thanks, Craig!

7. “Mrs. Claus’ Kimono” by Drive-By Truckers CL: Leave it to my friend Patterson to write one of the sleaziest Xmas-themed songs ever.

MW: What a wonderful, unique tale of sleaze and sex. I love a good story-song. We don’t ever hear story-songs these days, which is kinda sad, but this is a lot of fun.

8. “Santa Claus, Santa Claus” by James Brown CL: No words are needed to qualify most of anything James did. This song is no exception to that rule. Most artists just coast, performance-wise, on holiday records. On this song, James soars.

MW: I can still remember when I got the news a few years ago that James Brown passed away—it was on Christmas. What a sad track. James pleading and begging Santa Claus to help a brotha out in the ghetto. The desperation in his voice is heartbreaking.

Liesk e eat h M a rk W

ersby

MW: So sad and poignant. Nothing says Christmas like this track does. Beautiful!

11. “Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis” by Tom Waits CL: Not sure what Tom was thinking when he did this tune, but I’ll bet it was only coincidental that the holidays were brought into the narrative at all.

MW: Only Tom Waits can make me feel like a voyeur and an intruder. This song really represents a voice that’s never heard, people who see hurt and pain around them. This track plunges deep.

12. “The Singing Dogs Jingle Bells” by Dr. Demento CL: Because there is a need for some laughter after hearing the two previous tracks.

MW: [Laughs] Merry Dog-mas! Where’s the kitties?

Mark Weathersby’s Mixtape 1. “Holiday Road” by Lindsay Buckingham Why Mark Weathersby picked this song: I remember growing up watching National Lampoon’s Vacation with my family all the time. It’s the ultimate road movie, and “Holiday Road” is

7. “May Christmas Bring You Happiness” by Luther Vandross MW: My dad was (and still is) a huge Luther Vandross fan, and he bought this cassingle in the early ‘90s. This song was originally done in the ‘70s and rereleased to capitalize on Luther’s fame, but the uptempo groove gets me jumping every time.

CL: Not only is this a cool holiday song, but it has a great Philly soul groove that can’t be stopped!

Man, is this good.

8. “Hazy Shade of Winter” by The Bangles MW: I read Less Than Zero one winter while I was in high school and watched the movie afterwards. I hadn’t experienced such unique debauchery at that point, and hearing The Bangles harmonize over the opening credits of the movie has stuck with me for years afterwards.

CL: The harmonies are great, but I have to say, I prefer Simon & Garfunkel’s version.

9. “Fairytale of New York” by The Pogues MW: My favorite ex-manager of all time, Jeremy Long of Vision Video, introduced me to this unique, drunken, raunchy tale—and I do love my raunch! I love to sway and sing along to this naughty, bawdy tune every holiday season.

CL: Man, I forgot to put this one on my mixtape! Nothing says Christmas like domestic arguments and negative accusations.

10. “King Holiday” by King Dream Chorus & Holiday Crew MW: Looking forward to the new year, everybody, including The Fat Boys and Whitney Houston, was on this holiday rap jam, which celebrated the legacy of Martin Luther King, Jr. in a “We Are the World” style. This song was the jam, and the music video is so cheesily fantastic.

CL: A nice, uplifting message to close this program out.

We should all still be dreaming. Sorta cheesy, but it doesn’t matter.

DECEMBER 19, 2012 · FLAGPOLE.COM

19

The Year in Music 2012 Examined, In Three Parts Teach the World to Party Hard: Why Andrew WK Should Have Been a U.S. Ambassador For about 24 hours at the end of November, I truly wondered if I might be in some sort of extended dream state. I had heard about party-rocker Andrew WK’s appointment as a United States Cultural Ambassador to Bahrain at a bar with a few of my friends—which, I suppose, is exactly how the guy would want people to acquire this news. After spending the evening giggling about the possible consequences, I concluded that it was the coolest foreign policy decision that had been made in my lifetime. For once, political theater was quite obviously theatrical.

I went to bed happy that night. But when I woke up the next morning, the State Department had rescinded the offer. It was over as fast as it had happened, and we were thrown back into the real world. Still, Andrew WK it made me wonder. Ridiculous though it might have been to appoint as an ambassador a guy who is known for wearing dirty white t-shirts and white jeans wherever he goes (sometimes sporting a bloody nose as an accessory), the series of events demands us to think hard about the relationship between celebrity and politics in 2012.

To the original idea, many might have objected that WK was an opportunist who would do absolutely anything for publicity—playing a keyboard that sent electrical volts into David Blaine; giving the keynote address at a My Little Pony convention—and there is some merit to that criticism. But while WK’s authenticity can be called into question ad nauseam, there’s no doubt he would have been an excellent choice to show the world that the U.S. can offer more than aggressive unilateral military deployment.

Indeed, the message of Andrew WK is just ambiguous enough to have had the potential to do a lot of good.

Although Middle Eastern officials may have freaked out upon learning of WK’s Cartoon Network program where he encouraged kids to demolish cars and buildings, the trip could have sent a clear message: Destroy things for fun, not because of political conflict. Oh, and party hard.

Who else do we have to represent us? Bono? Despite being a cultural cornerstone, even his most ardent supporters find that messiah complex exhausting. Bruce Springsteen? The Boss’ populism works well here at home, but I can’t see many of his songs inspiring a similarly tempered brand of nationalism abroad. And though my respect for Ke$ha is steadily increasing (thanks to her collaborations with Wayne Coyne), I can only imagine that performing “Blow” in front of thousands of Bahrainians would be cataclysmic.

In every subsequent media appearance, WK has been eloquent and polite, even demonstrating a knowledge of U.S./ Middle East relations nothing short of impressive. The fact is that for even the most well-informed citizen, traditional forms of diplomacy are often painfully boring. A little bit of fun and excitement could’ve done the U.S. quite a lot of good. [Dan Mistich]

Stuff to Skip in 2013: What You Need to Know About What You Don’t Need to Read Chances are good you’re the person in your extended family that’s “into music,” so all your well-meaning relatives send you all sorts of barely literate dreck they’ve stumbled across just

20

FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 19, 2012

because the headline made it seem the subject was important or game-changing. Here are a few topics that were beaten to death in 2012—and that you can definitely skip over in the new year.

time it’s used—unless it was written by the ghost of Norman Mailer, you’ve seen it all before.

Here’s to having lots of fun, and reading none! [Gordon Lamb]

Our Place in Time: The Year Music Broke

• Anything to do with crowd-funding (Kickstarter, IndieGoGo, etc.). It’s not news and hasn’t been for at least five years. Also, anything to do with ticket pricing. That is, dynamic ticket pricing for classic acts (“Gold Circle” prices for U2’s richest fans, crap circle prices for everyone else), flat ticket pricing for classic acts wanting street cred, anything to do with the Ticketmaster/StubHub controversy, paperless ticketing, etc. And remember to ignore anything relating some pop star’s political opinions, benefits, fundraisers, etc. Don’t pretend you care what Katy Perry wants to raise funds for. You don’t. No one does.

Muuy Biien • On the indie tip, you probably already roll your eyes when you hear that vinyl is “making a comeback,” because, p’shaw, you knew that already, right? But make sure to gloss over anything about the “cassette revival.” Put simply, labels would print recordings on Oreo cookies if they thought they’d sell.

And, for God’s sake, don’t read anything that laments how the “scene used to be different” and “music used to be better.”

People who write that crap live in some mysterious time warp.

And, for the record, no, it wasn’t, and no, it didn’t.

• No matter how much you think you can’t look away, don’t bother reading anything with the words “Brooklyn” or “hipster” in the headline. With regard to the former, it totally sucks and/ or totally rules, but either way, it was absolutely more awesome back when whomever you asked first moved there and just hasn’t been the same since. With regard to that dreaded, pornographic term, which is a total misnomer 99 percent of the

Time is fluid, and so is music. In 2012, there seemed a reconciliation between a rose-colored past and a robotic future: an embrace of realness, of now. Concurrently, the space between “indie” and everything else became nearly imperceptible—from the mid-majors to the tape labels, stodgy business models were increasingly ditched in favor of a singular, ever-evolving one.

This phenomenon took elaborate forms.

Beck Hansen forewent a typical album release in favor of Song Reader, a collection of sheet music, which he invited his fans to bring to life online. And they did, to the tune of thousands of YouTube clips and Soundcloud offerings. Let me reiterate: Beck released a whole shitload (sheetload?) of sheet music. Which other folks then recorded. For the Internet.

The consensus on best hip-hop and R&B albums of the year, courtesy of indie artists-cum-Spotify darlings Kendrick Lamar and Frank Ocean, respectively, rejected nostalgia and futuristic blandness in favor of meta-assured realness—modern takes on modern issues, fueled entirely by modern sounds.

In Athens, loose collectives of bright, young local bands became the talk of the town in large part due to their members’ on- and offline proficiency and prolificness. New music showed up on Bandcamp weekly, while every weekend, most of these bands could be found on some downtown stage. The tunes took wildly different forms—compare the raucous rock glory of Muuy Biien or The Rodney Kings to the metastasized sounds of Pretty Bird—but all of it was bold. It was new; more importantly, it was now.

Elsewhere in our little microcosm, a niche label called Hooker Vision, already adored in far corners of the globe, quietly set up shop, revitalizing the town’s experimental scene in the process. These artists—some new to Athens, others veterans, energized by new blood— performed and recorded music both primal and visionary, exacting snapshots of this and that moment in time.

Of equal or greater importance to how all this music was made, of course, was how it found its audience. CDs, vinyl and tapes were readily available, to be appreciated—fetishized, even—but not to be falsely and nostalgically worshipped as things they never were. Fueled by the righteous ideas of those who had grown up knowing no other truth, in 2012, hyperconnectivity was no longer an ill-understood means to an end so much as a vast but conquerable end in itself.

There are those who still resist change. They’re hung up, mainly, on the financial challenges of the new model. But the unavoidable flip side is that, armed with this new model, music is becoming revitalized, transformed into a powerful and provocative entity once again.

So, was this the tipping point? Will we look back on 2012 as the year we accepted our place in time?

Never mind looking back. Let’s talk about now. [Gabe Vodicka] Look for Flagpole’s Top-5 Concerts and Top-10 Local Albums of 2012 features in early January. In the meantime, check Flagpole.com for lists and other year-end junk.

listen up!

New Local Albums, Track By Track On a recent Tuesday evening, sitting hazyeyed in his third-floor walk-up in a dusty old building that also houses a certain local DIY venue, K. Jared Collins, the soft-spoken force behind local dream-pop outfit k i d s, pressed play on his terrific new EP These Days.

KJC: Yeah, from our album Rules. It was just vocals and drums; it didn’t sound anything like this. The lyrics are really great. It’s about the individual. It’s a selfish song. I thought it had this cool ‘50s swing to it. [It’s] a love song to my younger self.

1. “Annie Moore (Friday)”

FP: You talk about this album being about love. But it’s a terrifying, scarred sort of love.

KJC: It’s about the experience of being completely into someone or something and just having it fall apart. I’ve been in a lot of relationships. Now, when I go into a relationship, I’m ready for the beginning, when you’re super awkward, and then later, when you just hate each other.

Flagpole: So, the album starts on Friday and ends on Thursday.

K. Jared Collins: I’ve always liked conceptual albums. I’ve had these songs for a long time. Once I put them all together, there were six, so I decided to [add] one more, to play off These Days. I started with Monday, but then I listened to it, and I was like, “This doesn’t sound like a Monday song.”

FP: What’s a typical Friday like for you?

KJC: I’m usually downtown.

I kinda fly solo. The song’s definitely, like, a breakup song—the freedom of playing the field, I guess.

FP: It seems like you’ve played the field with your backing band, too. Are you that difficult to work with?

KJC: [Laughs] I think I am, but people have never told me that to my face. I was in a band when I was younger, in college—my first try of college. And I wrote all the songs, because nobody else really wrote anything. And I ended up singing, because I was like, everybody else sucks; so, I’d rather sing it myself and be mad at me. Eventually, they all quit at the end of a show. They called me a dictator. I kinda just couldn’t stand not having as much control as I wanted. And I wrote all these songs, so when I played with these other guys, it was like, “You’re my backing band, and if it doesn’t work, it’s not gonna work.”

2. “So Long (Saturday)” FP: On your Bandcamp, it says, “All recordings are digital in production and analog in spirit.”

KJC: Three of these songs were recorded at [Glow Studio]. The rest of the recordings I made myself, on GarageBand. It’s digital, but I just [plugged] right into the computer, sang into this little mic. I just really like the tape sound.

FP: Your songwriting is also kind of throwback-y, sometimes. It’s very pop.

KJC: I like to keep it simple.

FP: What’s the appeal of that, for you?

KJC: I have a really short attention span.

When I listen to something, I’ll listen to half a song and skip through. I do that a lot.

Minimalism is a big thing with me, and my art outside of music, too. I like the idea of stripping something down to the bones.

3. “I Don’t Feel My Age (Sunday)” FP: So, this is a Pretty Bird song?

FP: Do you look forward to that?

KJC: I just don’t hate it, I guess. I like to argue. [Laughs]

is so different. And we all work really hard. I try to put out stuff as often as I can. Pretty Bird is always putting something out. [And] I don’t really have to say anything about Muuy Biien. They’re doing their thing.

6. “Phosphenes (Wednesday)” FP: What is the glue that holds The Birdhouse Collection together?

KJC: I think it’s, like, competition. Me and Josh [Evans, of Muuy Biien] don’t necessarily even get along that well. I love him, and he’s a great friend of mine. But somebody puts something out, and it’s like, “I’m gonna do better than that.” That’s the way it’s always been.

Jacob [Deel, as Cottonmouth] has been putting out amazing stuff recently. He’s got this new thing—we’ve played it live once. I don’t think anything like it exists. It’s super exciting. Really noisy, super crazy drums, really bassy hip-hop [sounds], but with the speed of Lightning Bolt. It’s great.

TUESDAY , DEC 18TH

Kenosha Kid

THURSDAY, DEC 20TH

Caesars Open Jazz Jam FRIDAY, DEC 21ST

The Solstice Sisters

FP: You guys seem to be all about what you’re doing—and all about doing it in Athens.

KJC: I think we feel invested in Athens.

[We] worked really hard for Flagpole to even pay attention to us. We wanted it to happen right then, so we did all kinds of crazy stuff, which was the only way we knew how—to do something weird.

SATURDAY, DEC 22ND

Coconut Moon Holiday Show TUESDAY, DEC 25TH

Closed Merry Christmas!

7. “Sloww Ohh (Thursday)” FP: So, what’s next? I suspect you’re working on something else as we speak.

KJC: I’m working with Velocirapture to do live stuff.

My next stuff is gonna be more like, sludgy rock. I’ve been listening to more Motown. I want to do something more high-energy. It’s better for the live shows. I kinda wanna do a Billie Holiday-on-ecstasy thing.

4. “These Days (Monday)” KJC: This song was recorded at the studio, but then I recorded the vocals here. What we do live now is pretty much like this. But when I was doing it by myself, it was totally different. When I play live by myself, I like how I can make up a new track and just sing an old song over it.

FP: Is having that control super important to you going forward?

KJC: It’s really important to me. I probably am hard to work with. [Laughs] When I think of a song, I usually have this whole idea. I conceive the whole thing all at once, so I’m just trying to get it to sound like that. Me and Jesse [Mangum, of Glow] get along really well, but I definitely enjoy recording by myself more.

5. “Innerlude (Tuesday)” FP: It seems like The Birdhouse Collection has kind of defined underground music in Athens for 2012.

KJC: I don’t want to sound egotistical, but I think we’ve been putting out the best stuff.

When people join a collective, it often all sounds the same. I feel like what we’re doing

FP: Sludgy Motown Billie Holiday? That’s a lot of very different things you just mentioned.

KJC: [Laughs] I’ve been listening to Muuy Biien and Ritvals, and I feel like we all pull in these directions, within our own parameters. I think louder music is definitely a direction I’m going. This [“Sloww Ohh”] is so chilled out. I can’t help but make noise.

I’ve worked on some electronic stuff. I have enough material for an EP right now, but I might just hold onto it until I have an album. And I’m working on some acoustic stuff, too. [Laughs] I kinda wanna remove myself. I actually thought about just quitting for a while. After this, I was just gonna stop doing music at all…

The Birdhouse Collection is working on a calendar compilation album, [with] one band per month. And we’re gonna do a sexy calendar, where each band does some sort of scandalous picture. It’s themed for the end of the world. We’re shooting to put it out on the 21st—the winter solstice.

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FP: The Mayan apocalypse. What happens if the world ends?

KJC: I don’t know. I don’t care, I guess.

Gabe Vodicka Listen Up is a column that will explore local albums by way of intimate listening sessions with the artists themselves. Stream These Days at Flagpole.com.

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DECEMBER 19, 2012 · FLAGPOLE.COM

21

the calendar!

WHATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S HAPPENING THIS WEEK

HOLIDAY DeadlinE: The deadline for getting listed in the Calendar will be WEDNESDAY, Dec. 19 at 5 p.m. for the double issue of Dec. 26â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Jan. 2. Email calendar@flagpole.com.

Tuesday 18 CLASSES: Athens Swing Night (Dancefx) No experience or partner necessary. Advanced lesson at 7 p.m., and beginner lesson at 7:30 p.m. 7â&#x20AC;&#x201C;10 p.m. $3â&#x20AC;&#x201C;5. www.athensswingnight.com COMEDY: OpenTOAD Comedy Open Mic (Flicker Theatre & Bar) This comedy show allows locals to watch quality comedy or perform themselves. Email to perform. First and third Tuesday of every month! 9 p.m. FREE! (performers), $5. calebsynan@yahoo.com, www.flickertheatreandbar.com GAMES: Trivia with a Twist (Johnnyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s New York Style Pizza) Throw a lime in your Coors Light and compete! Tuesdays & Thursdays, 7:30-9:30 p.m. 706354-1515 GAMES: Trivia (Fuzzyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Taco Shop) Compete for prizes and giveaways.

Every Tuesday. 9â&#x20AC;&#x201C;11 p.m. 706353-0305 GAMES: Pool Tournament (The Office Lounge) Double elimination round. 9:30 p.m. $5. www.facebook. com/officeathens GAMES: Locos Trivia (Locos Grill & Pub) All three Athens locations of Locos Grill and Pub (Westside, Eastside and Harris St.) feature trivia night every Tuesday. 8 p.m. FREE! www.locosgrill.com KIDSTUFF: The White Buffaloâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Christmas for Children (Buffaloâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s CafĂŠ) Activities include a visit with Santa, a puppet show and dancing to

music selected by a live DJ. 6 p.m.

FREE! www.buffaloscafe.com/athens

Wednesday 19 ART: Tour at Two (Georgia Museum of Art) Meet docents in the lobby for a tour of highlights from the museumâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s collection. 2 p.m. FREE! www.georgiamuseum.org EVENTS: Canine Cocktail Hour (Madison Bar & Bistro) Drink and food specials for you and your (well-behaved, non-aggressive, vaccinated) dog! Every Wednesday. 5â&#x20AC;&#x201C;7 p.m. FREE! www.indigoathens.com EVENTS: Blood Drive (The Classic Center) (Room VW) In honor of Penelope Gavrielides, a micro-preemie daughter of local musician Mike Gavrielides and his wife Stephanie.

Donators will receive free Chick-fil-A coupons and be entered to win a free massage. 12â&#x20AC;&#x201C;5 p.m. FREE! www. classiccenter.com FILM: Bad Movie Night (CinĂŠ BarcafĂŠ) Mickey Rooneyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s store sells toys designed to kill their owners in the holiday classic Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker. 8 p.m. FREE! www.athenscine.com GAMES: Trivia (Willyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Mexicana Grill) Trivia with a DJ! Every Wednesday. 8â&#x20AC;&#x201C;10 p.m. FREE! 706548-1920 GAMES: Trivia (Choo Choo Japanese Korean Grill Express) Wednesdays.

7:30 p.m. www.choochoorestaurants.com GAMES: Trivia (Your Pie) (Five Points location) Open your pie-

hole for a chance to win! Every Wednesday. 7:30 p.m. FREE! 706850-7424 GAMES: Trivia (Copper Creek Brewing Company) Test your trivia chops for prizes! Every Wednesday.

9 p.m. FREE! 706-546-1102 GAMES: Trivia (Mellow Mushroom) Every Wednesday. 8 p.m. FREE! 706-613-0892 GAMES: Sports Trivia (Beef â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Bradyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s) Test your sports knowledge every Wednesday night. 8:30 p.m.

FREE! 706-850-1916 GAMES: Trivia (Blind Pig Tavern) Think you know it all? Test your knowledge every Wednesday night.

8 p.m. (Baldwin St. & Broad St. locations). 706-548-3442 KIDSTUFF: Barnes & Noble Storytime (Barnes & Noble) Storytime for all ages. Children receive a free treat from the cafe. 11 a.m. FREE! 706-354-1195 KIDSTUFF: Preschool & Toddler Storytime (Madison County Library) Stories, finger-puppet plays, songs and crafts for literacy-based fun. For ages 2â&#x20AC;&#x201C;5. Every Wednesday.

10:30 a.m. FREE! 706-795-5597 KIDSTUFF: Christmas Party (East Athens Community Center) Holiday party with refreshments and activities. 5 p.m. FREE! 706-613-3593

Thursday 20 ART: Opening Reception (CinĂŠ BarcafĂŠ) For â&#x20AC;&#x153;TV Dinners,â&#x20AC;? new work

by Paul Thomas. 6â&#x20AC;&#x201C;8 p.m. FREE! www.athenscine.com

BULLDOG

BEAN BAGS $59

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706-743-7777

Justin Evans plays Little Kings Shuffle Club on Friday, Dec. 21.

ART: Third Thursday Art Series (Athens, GA) Six galleries stay open late the third Thursday of every month. Galleries include the Georgia Museum of Art, Lamar Dodd School of Art, ATHICA, Lyndon House Arts Center, Cine and the GlassCube & Gallery @ Hotel Indigo. 6-9 p.m.

FREE! www.3thurs.org

Long Road Studio

CLASSES: Make Your Own Holiday Centerpiece (State Botanical Garden) Bring a container and pruning shears to construct your own holiday centerpiece. Greenery harvested at the garden provides a wide range of materials to suit different designs. 9 a.m.â&#x20AC;&#x201C;12 p.m. $27. www.botgarden.uga.edu

CLASSES: Needle Felting Ornaments Adult Class (Treehouse Kid and Craft) Learn how to felt wool ornaments. BYOB adult beverages. 7:30â&#x20AC;&#x201C;9:30 p.m. $20. www.treehousekidandcraft.com COMEDY: Free Range Comedy (Farm 255) With Jake Head, Matt Gilbert, Craig Hoelzer, Dave Weiglein

Holiday Pottery and Sculpture Sale Saturday, December 22 Sunday, December 23 9am-6pm

410 King Avenue

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22

FLAGPOLE.COM â&#x2C6;&#x2122; DECEMBER 19, 2012

READER PICKS

RUNNER-UP RUNNER-UP

Athens, GA

Work by: Laura Cooper, Juana Gnecco, Nancy Green, Allya Macdonald, Melanie Sgrignoli, Kendall Steele, Caryn van Wagtendonk

and Elizabeth Beck. Hosted by Andrea Boyd. Bring canned goods to donate to the Food Bank of Northeast Georgia. 10:30 p.m. FREE! www.farm255.com EVENTS: Reiki Circle (Healing Arts Centre) A Japanese technique for stress reduction, relaxation and healing. Every Thursday. 7–8 p.m.

Donations accepted. 706-338-6843 EVENTS: Nature Ramblers (State Botanical Garden of Georgia) Learn more about the flora and fauna of the garden while making new friends and enjoying fresh air and inspirational readings. Every Thursday.

8:30–10 a.m. FREE! www.botgarden. uga.edu EVENTS: Customer Christmas Party (Georgia Bar) A potluck and Secret Santa game. 7 p.m. 706546-9884 GAMES: Trivia with a Twist (Johnny’s New York Style Pizza) Throw a lime in your Coors Light and compete! Tuesdays & Thursdays, 7:30-9:30 p.m. 706354-1515 GAMES: Trivia (The Volstead) Every Thursday! 7:30-9:30 p.m. FREE! 706-354-5300 KIDSTUFF: Gallery Games (Georgia Museum of Art) Learn about works in the museum’s permanent collection through activities designed just for kids ages 7–11.

4:15–5 p.m. FREE! www.georgiamuseum.com KIDSTUFF: Magic Tree House Book Club (Madison County Library) For children at a second to third grade reading level. This week’s book is The Knight at Dawn. 4–5 p.m. FREE! 706-795-5597 KIDSTUFF: Family Dinner Night (Earth Fare Café) Kids eat free every Thursday with one $5 adult purchase of prepared foods. Good for up to six kids, ages 12 & under. 4–8 p.m. $5.

706-227-1717

Friday 21 ART: Jittery Joe’s Barista Handmade Holiday Market (Jittery Joe’s Coffee) (Eastside) Jittery Joe’s baristas host a market featuring their own handmade ceramics and decorative pottery, sculptural works, drawings, paintings and other pieces for last-minute holiday gifts. Dec. 21, 7 a.m.–2 p.m. & Dec. 22, 10 a.m.–4 p.m. FREE! 706-354-8000 EVENTS: Unsilent Night (Hancock Avenue and Hull Street) For the second year in a row, Athenians are invited to participate in a public performance of “Unsilent Night.”

The 45-minute electronic piece, designed “specifically to be heard outdoors in the month of December” by composer Phil Kline, was debuted in New York City in 1992 and is performed around the world.

Meet at Little Kings and bring portable music players for a walk around downtown. See Calendar Pick on p.

24. 8 p.m. FREE! 706-369-3144 EVENTS: Athens Cabaret Showgirls (Go Bar) A unique drag show featuring performances by local drag artists. 10 p.m. 706546-5609 KIDSTUFF: Holiday Craft Marathon (Treehouse Kid and Craft) Lindsay Troutman instructs kids through several crafts. Bring a sack lunch. Visit website or store to sign up. For ages 8–12. 10 a.m.–3 p.m. $65. www.treehousekidandcraft. com KIDSTUFF: Journey Through the Stars (Sandy Creek Nature Center) Listen to stories inspired by stars and constellations while viewing the night sky in the new planetarium.

Pre-register by Dec. 19. 10–11 a.m.

& 3–4 p.m. $7–10. 706-613-3615, www.athensclarkecounty.com/sandycreeknaturecenter

Saturday 22 ART: Jittery Joe’s Barista Handmade Holiday Market (Jittery Joe’s Coffee) See Friday listing for full description Dec. 21, 7 a.m.–2 p.m. & Dec. 22, 10 a.m.–4 p.m. FREE! 706-354-8000 ART: Holiday Market (Flicker Theatre & Bar) Creations by Athensarea artists. 12–5 p.m. www.flickertheatreandbar.com ART: Ceramic Arts Holiday Sales (Normaltown Pottery, 410 King Ave.) Pottery and sculptures by Long Road Studio members Juana Gnecco, Laura Cooper, Nancy Green, Allya Macdonald, Melanie Sgrignoli, Kendall Steele and Caryn van Wagtendonk. 9 a.m.–6 p.m.

706-549-7007 KIDSTUFF: Barnes & Noble Storytime (Barnes & Noble) Storytime for all ages. Children receive a free treat from the cafe. 11 a.m. FREE! 706-354-1195

Sunday 23 ART: Ceramic Arts Holiday Sales (Normaltown Pottery, 410 King Ave.) See Saturday listing for full description 9 a.m.–6 p.m. 706-549-7007 GAMES: Trivia Sundays (Blind Pig Tavern) At the West Broad location. 6 p.m. 706-208-7979 GAMES: Trivia (The Capital Room) Every Sunday! Hosted by Evan Delany. First place wins $50 and second place wins $25. 8 p.m.

FREE! www.thecapitalroom.com GAMES: Trivia (Buffalo’s Café) “Brewer’s Inquisition,” trivia hosted

by Chris Brewer every Sunday. 7 p.m. FREE! 706-354-6655, www. buffaloscafe.com/athens

Monday 24 EVENTS: Living Nativity Scene (Friendship Christian Church) A live manger scene/creche including live actors, sheep children may feed and a donkey they may pet. 7 p.m. FREE! 706-548-3474

Wednesday 26 GAMES: Trivia (Mellow Mushroom) Every Wednesday. 8 p.m. FREE! 706-613-0892 GAMES: Trivia (Choo Choo Japanese Korean Grill Express) Jump on the trivia train! Every Wednesday. 7:30 p.m. www.choochoorestaurants.com GAMES: Trivia (Your Pie) (Five Points location) Open your piehole for a chance to win! Every Wednesday. 7:30 p.m. FREE! 706850-7424 GAMES: Trivia (Willy’s Mexicana Grill) Trivia with a DJ! Every Wednesday. 8–10 p.m. FREE! 706548-1920 GAMES: Trivia (Copper Creek Brewing Company) Test your trivia chops for prizes! Every Wednesday.

9 p.m. FREE! 706-546-1102 GAMES: Sports Trivia (Beef ‘O’ Brady’s) Test your sports knowledge every Wednesday night. 8:30 p.m.

FREE! 706-850-1916 GAMES: Trivia (Blind Pig Tavern) Think you know it all? Test your knowledge every Wednesday night.

8 p.m. (Baldwin St. & Broad St. locations). 706-548-3442 KIDSTUFF: Preschool & Toddler Storytime (Madison County Library) Includes stories, fingerk continued on next page

DECEMBER 19, 2012 · FLAGPOLE.COM

23

THE CALENDAR! Eat. Drink. Listen Closely.

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puppet plays, songs and crafts for literacy-based fun. For ages 2â&#x20AC;&#x201C;5.

Every Wednesday. 10:30 a.m. FREE! 706-795-5597 KIDSTUFF: Barnes & Noble Storytime (Barnes & Noble) Storytime for all ages. Children receive a free treat from the cafe. 11 a.m. FREE! 706-354-1195

LIVE MUSIC Tuesday 18

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399 Meigs Toys for Tots Benefit. FREE! (with toy donation) 706-548-3914.

ROBERT ELLIS This up-and-coming and critically acclaimed country and Western-influenced singersongwriter plays indie-folk tunes with tenderness and mastery.

Go Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-5609 DJ FOG JUICE Spinning Euro/Italo/ space-disco, old-school R&B and current and classic dance hits.

Hendershotâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. www.hendershotscoffee.com KENOSHA KID Centered around the instru-improv jazz compositions of guitarist Dan Nettles, Kenosha Kid also features bassist Robby Handley and drummer Seth Hendershot.

The Volstead 9 p.m.â&#x20AC;&#x201C;1:30 a.m. 706-354-5300 KARAOKE Every Tuesday!

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$-0 2'!)#21 1&-52'+#1

555 +#*2',%.-',2 2&#,1 !-+ CALL THE BOX OFFICE 706.254.6909 295 E. DOUGHERTY ST., ATHENS, GA

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TUE-WED 11AM-9PM â&#x20AC;˘ THU-SAT 11AM-10PM SUNDAY 11AM-9PM â&#x20AC;˘ CLOSED MONDAYS

2270 BARNETT SHOALS RD

706-850-8284

DELIVERY AVAILABLE THROUGH ORDERBULLDAWGFOOD.COM

24

FLAGPOLE.COM â&#x2C6;&#x2122; DECEMBER 19, 2012

Boarâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Head Lounge 11 p.m. FREE! 706-369-3040 OPEN MIC NIGHT Showcase your talent. Every Wednesday!

Farm 255 8 p.m. FREE! www.farm255.com CALEB DARNELL Member of The Darnell Boys and Bellyache sings the blues.

Flicker Theatre & Bar 9 p.m. FREE! www.flickertheatreandbar. com ROOTS MUSIC CHRISTMAS PARTY Featuring performances by Sky Captains of Industry and more!

Fuzzyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Taco Shop 9 p.m. FREE! 706-353-0305 OPEN MIC NIGHT What rhymes with Fuzzy Taco? Performers and listeners welcome. Every Wednesday.

Go Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-5609 FOUR EYES Ukulele strummer Erin Lovett plays sweetly poppy folk tunes.

SLEEPING FRIENDS Garage-pop featuring Joe Kubler (Bubbly Mommy Gun) and friends.

RENE LECONTE Featuring Joe Kubler (Sleeping Friends, Bubbly Mommy Gun).

CHICK AND DUDE No information available.

REBECCA JONES Member of U*S*A plays a solo set. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Dusty Springfield meets Sugar Ray meets Penguin Cafe Orchestra.â&#x20AC;?

The Office Lounge Christmas Party! 9:30 p.m. FREE! 706549-0840 KARAOKE With your host Lynn, the Queen of Karaoke!

Porterhouse Grill 7 p.m. FREE! 706-369-0990 JAZZ NIGHT An evening of standards and improvisations.

Tapped 9 p.m. FREE! 706-850-6277 KARAOKE Every Wednesday!

Terrapin Beer Co. 5:30 p.m. FREE! www.terrapinbeer.com THE SKY CAPTAINS OF INDUSTRY Futuristic indie rock from this New York-based band.

Thursday 20 Barbeque Shack 7 p.m. FREE! 706-613-6752 OPEN BLUEGRASS JAM All pickers welcome! Every Thursday!

Barcode 9 p.m. FREE! 706-613-5557 DJ LP Expect to hear classic anthems mixed with bass-thumping beats.

Farm 255 11 p.m. FREE! www.farm255.com ANDROCLES AND THE LION Local folk-rock trio plays lush, minor-key slowcore with a focus on melody and space.

T.S. WOODWARD Psychedelic, piano-centric pop from this local singer-songwriter.

Flicker Theatre & Bar 9 p.m. www.flickertheatreandbar.com NEVER Psychedelic, swirling guitars and layers of ambiance pierced by Melissa Colbert-Taylorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s howling, cathartic vocals.

RAW ASS TEMPLE Local experimental group featuring members of Circulatory System.

OLD SMOKEY Featuring members of Ham1 doing spaghetti western-style numbers.

Go Bar 11 p.m. 706-546-5609 KARAOKE Hosted by karaoke fanatic John â&#x20AC;&#x153;Dr. Fredâ&#x20AC;? Bowers.

blues covers from this skilled Athens five-piece. This is an open jam!

Terrapin Beer Co. 5:30 p.m. FREE! www.terrapinbeer.com THE JASON CONNELLY BAND Soul trio thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s known for its genuine, emotional hooks.

Hendershotâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. FREE! www.hendershotscoffee. com JAZZ JAM Bring your axe and join us, or grab a brew and a table and give an ear.

Friday 21

La Fiesta 7 p.m. FREE! 706-549-5933 ABDUR AND MOSES Members of local band John Parker Wayne play a set. Every Thursday!

Caledonia Lounge 9 p.m. $5 (21+) $7 (18-20). www.caledonialounge.com TWIN TIGERS This local rock band combines jarring guitar riffs with sweeping melodies.

RUBY THE RABBITFOOT Formerly Ruby Kendrick, this local singersongwriter has a sweet voice and prodding, poignant lyrics.

DJ Z-DOG Loveable local DJ spins top-40 hits, hip-hop, high-energy rock and other danceable favorites.

The Melting Point 7 p.m. $8-$10. www.meltingpointathens.com ATHENS A-TRAIN BAND Instrumental group performing traditional jazz standards, swing, latin, ballads, blues and boogie.

New Earth Music Hall 10 p.m. FREE! www.newearthmusichall. com SWEET KNIEVEL Melodic psychedelic rock to funk and beyond.

JGBCB Members of Sweet Knievel and friends pay tribute to The Jerry Garcia Band.â&#x20AC;?

Nowhere Bar 10 p.m. FREE! 706-546-4742 CONNECTED HOUSES Local rock band with funky edges.

The Office Lounge Blues Night. 9 p.m. FREE! 706-5460840 THE SHADOW EXECUTIVES Get your fill of straight-up, authentic

Barcode 9 p.m. FREE! 706-613-5557 DJ LP Expect to hear classic anthems mixed with bass-thumping beats.

Farm 255 11 p.m. FREE! www.farm255.com FEATHER TRADE New band featuring members of Misfortune 500.

ADAM KLEIN Local songwriter playing a rustic blend of country, folk and Americana.

MECHANICAL RIVER Experimental band from Charleston, SC. ARBOLES LIBRES Rock band from Miami.

Flicker Theatre & Bar 9 p.m. www.flickertheatreandbar.com SHEHEHE Scorching the new American jet rock stratosphere.

RIVERMEN No information available.

MANGER Speed thrash metal â&#x20AC;&#x153;with a dash of Satan.â&#x20AC;? The band harks back

Friday, December 21

Unsilent Night Downtown Athens For the second year in a row, Athenians are invited to participate in a public performance of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Unsilent Night.â&#x20AC;? The 45-minute electronic piece, designed â&#x20AC;&#x153;specifically to be heard outdoors in the month of Decemberâ&#x20AC;? by composer Phil Kline, was debuted in New York City in 1992; its pure, blissful tones have since echoed around the globe. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just a really transcendent experience,â&#x20AC;? says Athens organizer Mark Mobley. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s such a simple and beautiful idea.â&#x20AC;?

That idea is this: Any number of participants, armed with a boombox, a smartphone or some similarly portable music player, are given one of the four tracks that comprise the piece (if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re using an electronic device, download ahead of time at unsilentnight. com). After simultaneously hitting â&#x20AC;&#x153;play,â&#x20AC;? they parade along a designated route, holding their devices high for all to hear.

The effect is not chaotic but rather pure and blissful, the shimmering sound of holiday cheer. And, each time, it is singular. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Not to be too clichĂŠ about it, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s like snowflakes,â&#x20AC;? says Mobley. â&#x20AC;&#x153;No two performances of the piece can ever be the same.â&#x20AC;?

Indeed, the composition shifts and bends. How the sound echoes off various surfaces, reactions from bystanders, the sudden appearance of the moon over a buildingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;all these things can change the way â&#x20AC;&#x153;Unsilent Nightâ&#x20AC;? is experienced. Says Mobley, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s this constant series of really beautiful little surprises.â&#x20AC;?

This yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s parade begins at 8 p.m. outside of Little Kings Shuffle Club, on the corner of Hancock and Hull. All are invited, and parents are encouraged to bring children, Mobley emphasizes. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The point is that itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s this beautiful, shiny thing thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s so tied to the season and so evocative, but it has no agenda, it has no dogmaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;it has no point except being beautifulâ&#x20AC;Ś There are so few times when you hear something thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just pure joy.â&#x20AC;? [Gabe Vodicka]

to the days of NWOBHM: ripping solos and screeching vocals.

THE PLAGUE Dark and visceral rock.

Georgia Theatre 8 p.m. $8. www.georgiatheatre.com HOLMAN AUTRY BAND A little bit of Hank, a little bit of Metallica and a healthy dose of Southern rock.

MATT JOINER BAND Local guitarist draws from blues and classic rock.

Go Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-5609 DJ MAHOGANY Popular local DJ spins a lotta unexpected faves.

THE K-MACKS Local â&#x20AC;&#x153;country punk folk-rockâ&#x20AC;? band.

Hancock Ave. & Hull St. 8 p.m. FREE! www.unsilentnight.com UNSILENT NIGHT Athenians are invited to participate in a public performance of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Unsilent Night.â&#x20AC;? See Calendar Pick on p. 24.

Hendershotâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. $5. www.hendershotscoffee.com THE SOLSTICE SISTERS Old-time country ballads and traditional folk.

Highwire Lounge â&#x20AC;&#x153;Friday Night Jazz.â&#x20AC;? 8â&#x20AC;&#x201C;11 p.m. FREE! www.highwirelounge.com RAND LINES Original compositions of pianist Rand Lines with Ben Williams and Carl Lindberg.

Little Kings Shuffle Club Xmas Party! 8 p.m. FREE! www.facebook.com/lkshuffleclub ETIENNE DE ROCHER BAND West Coast transplant de Rocher and local stalwart Dan Nettles rifle through the formerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s songbook.

JUSTIN EVANS Local musician with a deep voice who sings about drinkinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, fast women and country roads.

HOLLY BELLE This local singersongwriter sings smoky, acoustic ballads accompanied by cello.

DAVE MARR The former Star Room Boys singer with a resonant country twang performs a solo set.

The Melting Point End of the World Party! 8 p.m. $15 (adv), $20 (door). www.meltingpointathens.com WET WILLIE Southern rock band influenced by the Allman Brothers.

A.J. WUNDER GHENT Edgy rapper/ singer whose music is influenced by the steel guitar.

Nowhere Bar 10 p.m. FREE! 706-546-4742 RICK WILLIAMSâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; BLUES OLYMPICS Blues supergroup led by the multitalented Rick Williams.

The Office Lounge 10 p.m. 706-546-0840 THE ORIGINAL SCREWTOPS Crankinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; the blues since 1962.

Terrapin Beer Co. 5:30 p.m. FREE! www.terrapinbeer.com JAM FOR JOSHUA Family-friendly event that will include many talented musicians.

Saturday 22 Barcode 9 p.m. FREE! 706-613-5557 DJ LP Expect to hear classic anthems mixed with bass-thumping beats.

Farm 255 11 p.m. FREE! www.farm255.com BUBBLY MOMMY GUN Idiosyncratic, psychedelic tunes.

SLEEPING FRIENDS Garage-pop.

DAYS OF BEYOND THUNDER Mercer West and friends play lyrical pop songs â&#x20AC;&#x153;for the over-50 set.â&#x20AC;?

Flicker Theatre & Bar 10 p.m. www.flickertheatreandbar.com JACOB MORRIS Morris plays mostly acoustic â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;70s folk-rock.

PATRICK CAREY Countryish pop is marked by breezy, melodic sounds.

SUPERFIGHTER Garage-rock.

Go Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-5609 E.X.P. Pure rock by Scott E. Spillane.

EL HOLLIN Haunting pop music with ethereal female vocals.

SOMEPHINE No info available.

TWIN POWERS DJ Dan Geller spins Top 40, punk and Britpop.

genuine s authentic s original

Hendershotâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. $5. www.hendershotscoffee.com COCONUT MOON All-girl four-piece band that plays Brazilian music.

Little Kings Shuffle Club Kruetzmas! 10 p.m. FREE! www.facebook.com/lkshuffleclub DAFFODIL This reunited local trio plays hard-hitting, noisy rock.

CRUN PUN Experimental punk act.

DJ LOZO Spinning punk rock!

The Melting Point 8 p.m. $12 (adv), $15 (door). www. meltingpointathens.com THE JESTERS Formed in 1964, this band still plays classic soul.

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Open Sundays 1-5pm

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If you are in crisis due to domestic violence, Classic City Orthodontics wants you to ďŹ nd help.

Nowhere Bar 10 p.m. FREE! 706-546-4742 LAZY LOCOMOTIVE Featuring members of High Strung String Band.

The Office Lounge Christmas Party! 6 p.m. FREE! 706546-0840 DWIGHT WILSON AND THE CLASSIC CITY SOUL Famous for its Motown sound, this group offers soulful R&B. Food will be served.

If your partner objects when you use the phone, limits your everyday contact with family and friends, and you restrict yourself to avoid angry, aggressive confrontations, you need to step back and take another look. How can you cope once you are involved with a controlling partner? Call Project Safe for help.

Our hotline is conďŹ dential, and counseling is free.

Get your life back. Get help.

Terrapin Beer Co. 5:30 p.m. FREE! www.terrapinbeer.com GAGE HOWE AND ROBERT BELL Local singer-songwriter duo.

Sunday 23 Ten Pins Tavern 7:30 p.m. FREE! 706-546-8090 SUNDAY NIGHT AT THE BOWLING ALLEY BLUES BAND Featuring locals Paul Scales, Randy Durham, and Scott Sanders playing blues.

Monday 24 Go Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-5609 DJ MARK MOBLEY Spinning classic Christmas tunes until midnight!

Wednesday 26 Boarâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Head Lounge 11 p.m. FREE! 706-369-3040 OPEN MIC NIGHT Wednesdays!

Go Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-5609 MADELINE Songwriter Madeline Adams plays endearing songs.

THEO HILTON Nana Grizol frontman returns to play a solo set.

DJ FOG JUICE Spinning Euro/Italo and classic dance hits.

Hendershotâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. FREE! www.hendershotscoffee. com OPEN MIC Local songstress Kyshona Armstrong hosts.

Tapped 9 p.m. FREE! 706-850-6277 KARAOKE Every Wednesday!

,EATHER /

UTDOOR Leather & Outdoor

706-543-3331

Hotline, 24 hours/day

LineaVAGAxmas2012ad2:Layout de crisis, las 24 horas del dia 1 11/29/12

PAIN & WONDER

TATTOO

4:22 PM

Page 1

DECK theWALLS!

BODY PIERCING Provided by Virtue & Vice, Inc. Athensâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Own Randy Smyre & Bethra Szumski

Association Professional Piercers Board Member

(706) 208-9588

285 W. Washington St. Athens, GA 30601

VOTED ATHENSâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; FAVORITE TATTOO STUDIO TWO YEARS IN A ROW!

www.painandwonder.com

a modern spin on Victorian GALLERY SHOP at Lyndon House Arts Center

Visit the expanded

Tuesday - Saturday, Noon - 5 p.m. â&#x20AC;˘ through Jan. 5

ORIGINAL GIFTS HAND-MADE

BY LOCAL ARTISTS 293 Hoyt Street, Athens GA 30601 706-613-3623 ext 224 LOTS OF FREE PARKING!

DECEMBER 19, 2012 ¡ FLAGPOLE.COM

25

bulletin board DO SOMETHING; GET INVOLVED! HOLIDAY DeadlinE: The deadline for getting listed in Bulletin Board will be WEDNESDAY, Dec. 19 at noon for the double issue of Dec. 26–Jan. 2. Email calendar@flagpole.com.

ART Call for Artists (ACC Library) The Athens Cultural Affairs Commission is seeking artists or art teams for creative public art installation to enhance the retaining wall bordering the library on Baxter Street. Visit website to send applications or concept submissions by 5 p.m., Jan. 7, 2013. www.athens culturalaffairs.org/calls-for-artists Deck the Walls Holiday Shop (Lyndon House Arts Center) Over 80 area artists offer wreaths, garlands, ornaments and other seasonal decorations for sale as well as popular gift items. Through Jan. 5, Tuesday–Saturday, 12–5 p.m. www.athensclarkecounty.com/ lyndonhouse MAG Holiday Market (Cottage in Town Park, 248 W. Jefferson St., Madison) Unique gifts, artwork and seasonal stocking stuffers made by local artists. Thursday–Saturday, 11 a.m.–4:30 p.m. & Sunday, 1–5 p.m. Through December. www.madisonartistguild.org

AUDITIONS Chorale Auditions (Athens Master Chorale) Now accepting auditions for alto, tenor and bass voice parts. Contact Joseph Napoli for information and scheduling.

706-546-0023, evenings only.

CLASSES Adult Intermediate Sewing (Treehouse Kid and Craft) For those who know a little about sewing and want to learn more. Learn how to read patterns and more. Machine

required. Monday, Wednesday and Friday, Jan. 6–18, 10 a.m.–12 p.m. $120. www.treehousekidandcraft. com Adult Knitting (Treehouse Kid and Craft) Learn how to cast on, knit, purl and bind off. Thursdays, Jan. 10–31, 7:30–9:30 p.m. $60. www.treehousekidandcraft.com Advanced Yoga Teacher Training (Athens, Ga) Vastu Yoga hosts a 500-hour yoga teacher training. Visit website for location and info. $2,495. www.globalvastuyoga. com Arrow Yoga Classes (Arrow) Arrow offers ongoing prenatal yoga classes and mama/baby yoga classes. Visit website for details. www.ourarrow.com Buddhist Book Study (Body, Mind & Spirit) Every Wednesday.

6 p.m. Donations accepted.

706-351-6024 Clay Classes (Good Dirt) Weekly “Try Clay” classes ($20/person) introduce participants to the potter’s wheel every Friday from 7–9 p.m.

“Family Try Clay” classes show children and adults hand-building methods every Sunday from 2–4 p.m. $20. 706-355-3161, www.gooddirt.net Computer Classes (Oconee County Library) Advanced to beginner computer classes offered by appointment. Call to register. 706769-3950, watkinsville@athens library.org Dance Classes (Dancefx) Ballet, tap, hip-hop, Zumba, contemporary, foxtrot, Western dancing, ballroom dancing, salsa, pilates and more.

Check website for schedule.

706-355-3078, www.dancefx.org Garden Geology (State Botanical Garden of Georgia) Dan Williams, Forest Manager at the UGA Warnell School of Forestry and Natural

ACC ANIMAL CONTROL

Resources, teaches about Georgia’s six geologic provinces; how they were formed, how to identify them and how they affect plants, animals and people. Participants will make their own collection of Georgia rocks and receive a copy of Rocks of Georgia, a companion to the sessions. Wednesdays, Jan. 9–Feb. 27, 4-6 p.m. $45. www.botgarden. uga.edu Gentle Hatha Integral Yoga (St. Gregory’s Episcopal Church) All levels welcome. Tuesdays, 5:30–7 p.m. $9/class. 706-543-0162, mfhealy@bellsouth.net, www.mind fuliving.org Lori’s Boot Camp (Fitness at Five) Get in shape! Thursdays, 6:30–7:30 p.m. & Saturdays, 11 a.m.–12:15 p.m. 706-353-6030, www.fitnessatfive.com SALSAthens (Little Kings Shuffle Club) Cuban-style salsa dance classes. Every Wednesday, 6:307:30 p.m. (intermediate), 7:30-8:30 p.m. (beginners). $8 (incl. $3.50 drink). 706-338-6613 Winter Term (Good Dirt) Winter clay classes of all levels begin Jan. 12. See website for schedule. 706355-3161, www.gooddirt.net Yoga Classes (Healing Arts Centre) Several types of ongoing yoga classes are offered for all levels. Visit website for details. www.healingartscentre.net Yoga Teacher Training (5 Points Yoga) Yoga Allianceregistered 200-hour yoga teacher training. Saturdays, 12 p.m. Jan. 4–July 21. $1,900. www.athensfive pointsyoga.com Yoga Teacher Training (Whole: Mind. Body. Art.) Yoga Allianceregistered 200-hour yoga teacher training. Journey more deeply into your own practice while learning technical skills necessary to become

37798

125 Buddy Christian Way • 706-613-3540

Open every day except Wednesday 10am-4pm Brown, brindle girl was found as a stray, and she is quite the flirt. Loves everyone and every dog she meets.

Medium-sized. Has a healing injury on her face.

Great-looking Boxer/American Bulldog mix is white all over with scattered spots that look like blueberries!

He’s already a big guy but not full-grown and he’s got puppy energy and a big sense of fun. Very friendly but a little nervous due to his surroundings.

The adult Dachshund / Beagle mix is a busy guy with a collar that says Icee. Probably because he is so cool. He tries to look nonchalant when you hold him but he actually loves it and will ask for more.

12/6 to 12/12

And of course, sadly, there are ALWAYS pups available, like this little, sweet and silly Pointer/Lab mix.

26

Elaine de Kooning’s “Bacchus #81” is on display at the GMOA as part of the permanent collection. a stellar yoga instructor. Saturdays, Jan. 5-May 11, 8 a.m.–6 p.m. $1,450. www.yogafulday.com Yoga Teacher Training Course (Athens, Ga) Yoga teacher and Yoga Alliance RYT200 certification course. Saturdays, Jan. 5–May 11, 8 a.m.–6 p.m. $1,450. www.yogafulday.com Zumba (Athens Latino Center for Education and Services (ALCES)) Instructed by Maricela Delgado.

Every Monday, 8–9 p.m. and Wednesday, 6–7 p.m. & 7:15–8:15 p.m. $5 (1 class), $8 (for both Wed. classes). 706-540-0591 Zumba at the Garden (State Botanical Garden) Latin rhythms comprise this dynamic fitness program. Wednesdays, 5:30–6:30 p.m. $10/class, $70/session. www.uga. edu/botgarden Zumba(r) with Ingrid (Casa de Amistad) A dance fitness class that incorporates Latin and international music. Mondays & Fridays, 6–7 p.m. $5. zumbathens@gmail.com

KIDSTUFF

37802

ACC ANIMAL CONTROL 19 Dogs Received, 14 Dogs Placed 5 Cats Received, 10 Cats Placed!

ATHENS AREA HUMANE SOCIETY Not Available at Press Time

FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 19, 2012

37803

37807

more local adoptable cats and dogs at

athenspets.net

ACC Leisure Program Registration (Athens, Ga) Winter and spring programs open for registration. Visit website for list of programs like indoor soccer, gymnastics, dance, basketball and art classes. www.athensclarkecounty. com/leisure Arrow Shared Nanny Sessions (Arrow) Caregiving with a child ratio of 1 to 3. For ages 6 months–4 years. Pre-registration

required. Monday–Thursday, 9 a.m.–5 p.m. and Friday, 9 a.m.–1 p.m. $30–125. ourarrow@gmail. com, www.ourarrow.com Arts in the Afternoon (East Athens Community Center) Afterschool program teaches arts and crafts and allows children to create original artwork. Ages 6–15.

Mondays and Wednesdays, 3:30– 5:30 p.m. FREE! 706-613-3593 Day Off School Program: Abracadabra (Memorial Park) Schoolchildren from the Clarke County School District can spend their day off by leaning about magic tricks, camouflage and enchanted crafts. Bring a sack lunch. Register

by Dec. 20. Jan. 4, 9 a.m.–3:30 p.m. $15–23. 706-613-3580, www.athens clarkecounty.com/camps Deck the Hollow (Memorial Park) Celebrate the season with a self-guided walk through the holiday lights in the zoo. Activities include live music, animal encounters, a bonfire and photo opportunities in the illuminated zoo.

Kids’ Craft Classes (Treehouse Kid and Craft) Mama/Papa & Me craft class for ages 1–3 (Thursdays, 10:30 a.m. & Saturdays, 10 a.m.), Craft Club for ages 6–8 (Wednesdays, 4 p.m.) and 3–5 (Thursdays, 4 p.m.) and Family Crafterdays (Saturdays, 11 a.m.). $10/class, $30/4 classes. 706-8508226, www.treehousekidandcraft. com New Mamas & Babies Group (Arrow) Meet other new parents and their pre-crawling little ones.

Caregivers Jean Anderson and

Rebecca Espana host. Thursdays, 10 a.m.–12 p.m. $5, $30 (8 visits). www.ourarrow.com Out of School Workshop: Clay for the Holidays (Good Dirt) Kids can get ready for the holidays on their day off by making clay projects. Call to register. Dec. 21, 9 a.m.–3 p.m. $55. 706-355-3161 Out of School Workshop: New Year’s Clay (Good Dirt) Kids can get busy on their days off with three days of playing in the clay.

Call to register. Jan. 2–4, 9 a.m.–3 p.m. $55/day. 706-355-3161 Pajama Party (Memorial Park) Elementary school children can spend the day off from class by telling stories, playing games, making a midnight snack and having a pillow fight. Register by Dec. 20. Jan. 3, 9 a.m.–3:30 p.m. $15–23.

706-613-3580 Pop-In Playtime (Pump It Up) Children ages 11 & under can bounce around and have a jumping good time. Wednesdays, 3:30-5:30 p.m. $3 (ages 2 & under), $6 (ages 2 & up). 706-613-5676 Sewing I (Treehouse Kid and Craft) Beginner sewing for ages 8-14.

Learn how machines work and sew a straight line. Bring machine if possible. Sundays, 1–3 p.m., Jan. 6–Jan. 27. $80. www.treehousekid andcraft.com Spanish Lessons for Tots (Arrow) Spanish lessons for kids with music, dancing and fun surprises led by Sarah Ehlers. For ages 2.5–4 years old. Wednesdays, 11:30 a.m.–12 p.m. $10. ourarrow@ gmail.com

Winter Blast Mini Camp (Lay Park) Recreational activities like crafting and cooking. For ages 6â&#x20AC;&#x201C;12.

Registration ends Dec. 21. Dec. 27 & 28, 10 a.m.â&#x20AC;&#x201C;3 p.m. $9â&#x20AC;&#x201C;14.

706-613-3596 Yoga Sprouts Family Yoga (Five Points Yoga) For children ages 2 & older with an adult. Sundays.

1â&#x20AC;&#x201C;1:45 p.m. $60. yogasprouts@ gmail.com, www.athensfivepoints yoga.com

ON THE STREET Bring One for the Chipper: Christmas Tree-cycling (Athens-Clarke County) Bring undecorated Christmas trees to be recycled at one of the seven dropoff locations and receive a free tree seedling in return. County residents 65 years or older may request a complimentary tree removal. Dropoff, Jan. 5, 9 a.m.â&#x20AC;&#x201C;1 p.m. 706-6133501, www.keepathensbeautiful.org Evergreen Community Garden Seeks Gardeners (Evergreen Community Garden, 285 Tallassee Rd.) Those interested in gardening are welcome to use the land, tools and classes at Evergreen

Community Garden. 706-877-7928, aggeles@uga.edu First Person Project Celebrates Stories of Love (UGA Special Collections Library Building) An oral history series documenting the experiences of everyday Georgians invites participants to record their stories about love. Call or email to register. Feb. 8, 9 a.m.â&#x20AC;&#x201C;4 p.m. $10. 706-542-5788, russlib@uga.edu Mandala Journal (Athens, GA) An online, multicultural visual and literary arts journal seeking fiction, nonfiction, poetry and art. Deadline is Feb. 14. mandala.uga.edu Second Annual Glee-Off (Athens, Ga) Glee clubs from four high schools in northeast Georgia will compete as part of a fundraiser for Children First, an advocacy group for safe, stable and nurturing living conditions for children. Prevoting is underway on YouTube. The performance with the most â&#x20AC;&#x153;likesâ&#x20AC;? and monetary donations will win the Peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Choice award. Vote until Feb. 1. Performance on Feb. 2. www.childrenfirst-inc.org The Giving Tree (Oconee County Library) Library visitors can pick a book from the Giving Tree and the

ART AROUND TOWN A. LAFERA SALON (2440 W. Broad St.) Impressionistic oil paintings of the natural world by Perry McCrackin.

AMICI ITALIAN CAFĂ&#x2030; (233 E. Clayton St.) Atmospheric paintings ranging from introspective melancholy to stark mechanical by Jacob Wenzka.

Through December.

ANTIQUES & JEWELS ART GALLERY (290 N. Milledge Ave.) Paintings by Mary Porter, Christine Shockley, Dorthea Jacobson, Lana Mitchell, John Gholson, Greg Benson and Ainhoa Bilbao Canup. Art quilt by Elizabeth Barton and handmade jewelry by various artists.

ART ON THE SIDE GALLERY AND GIFTS (1011B Industrial Blvd., Watkinsville) A gallery featuring works by various artists in media including ceramics, paintings and fused glass.

ARTINIâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ART LOUNGE (296 W. Broad St.) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Out West,â&#x20AC;? photography by Nate Cook. Through December.

THE BRANDED BUTCHER (225 N. Lumpkin St.) Paintings and drawings by Sanithna Phansavanh.

CIRCLE GALLERY AT UGA (285 S. Jackson St.) â&#x20AC;&#x153;American Dreams: The Paradox of Failed Subdivisions in Georgia,â&#x20AC;? a photographic exhibition

by Stephanie Bryan. Through Dec. 21.

CINĂ&#x2030; BARCAFĂ&#x2030; (234 W. Hancock Ave.) â&#x20AC;&#x153;TV Dinners,â&#x20AC;? artwork by Paul Thomas. Opening reception Dec. 20.

Through Jan. 15.

EARTH FARE (1689 S. Lumpkin St.) Artwork by Tommy Kay. Through December.

ETIENNE BRASSERIE (311 E. Broad St.) Paintings by Alan Campbell.

FARMINGTON DEPOT GALLERY (1011 Salem Rd., Farmington) Owned and staffed by 16 artists, the gallery exhibits paintings, sculpture, folk art, ceramics and fine furniture. Permanent collection artists include Tom Phillips, Larry Hamilton, Cheri Wranosky, John Weber and more. â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;&#x153;Bucolanaliaâ&#x20AC;? includes paintings and drawings by featured artist Matt Alston.

Through Dec. 30.

FLICKER THEATRE & BAR (263 W. Washington St.) Surreal shadowbox collages by Alexei Gural. Through December.

GEORGIA MUSEUM OF ART (90 Carlton St.) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Beyond the Bulldog: Jack Davis.â&#x20AC;? Through Jan. 6. â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Look of Love: Eye Miniatures from the Skier Collection.â&#x20AC;? Through Jan. 6. â&#x20AC;˘ Murals of agriculture scenes by George Beattie. Through Jan. 7. â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;&#x153;De Wain Valentine: Human Scaleâ&#x20AC;? features eight largescale, minimalist and translucent sculptures. Through Jan. 27. â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;&#x153;John Haley: Berkeley School of Abstract Expressionist.â&#x20AC;? Through Mar. 3. â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;&#x153;Minna Citron: The Uncharted Course from Realism to Abstraction.â&#x20AC;?

Through Mar. 3. â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;&#x153;Defiant Beauty: The Work of Chakaia Bookerâ&#x20AC;? consists of large-scale sculptures created from tires. Through Apr. 30.

GEORGIA MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY (East Campus Rd.) A collection of mounted game animals

â?&#x201E; FARMINGTON

library will put a bookplate in the book to honor a person of the visitorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s choice. Throughout December.

706-769-3950

SUPPORT Alcoholics Anonymous (Athens, Ga) If you want to drink, thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s your business. If you want to stop, we can help. 706-389-4164, www.athensaa.com Domestic Violence Support Group (Athens, Ga) Support for survivors of domestic violence.

Tuesdays, 6â&#x20AC;&#x201C;8 p.m., in Clarke County. First and Third Mondays, 6:30â&#x20AC;&#x201C;8 p.m., in Madison County.

Childcare provided. 706-543-3331 (hotline), 706-613-3357, ext. 771.

Emotional Abuse Support Group (Athens, Ga) Childcare provided. Call for location. Every Wednesday. 6:30â&#x20AC;&#x201C;8 p.m. FREE! 706543-3331 (hotline), 706-613-3357, ext. 771.

Emotions Anonymous (Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Athens) A 12-step program open to all. Sundays, 4â&#x20AC;&#x201C;5 p.m. 706-2027463, www.emotionsanonymous. org f

featuring lynxes, African leopards, Alaskan bears, water buffalo and elk, as well as live corn snakes, tarantulas and other animals.

GALLERY@HOTEL INDIGO (500 College Ave.) â&#x20AC;&#x153;PLACE: Photographyâ&#x20AC;? includes works by Michael Lachowski, Carl Martin and Stephen Scheer. Through Dec. 20.

THE GRIT (199 Prince Ave.) Artwork by James Greer.

Through Jan. 5.

HEIRLOOM CAFE AND FRESH MARKET (815 N. Chase St.) Drawings, paintings and prints of native Georgia flora by Hope Hilton. Through December.

HENDERSHOTâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S COFFEE BAR (1560 Oglethorpe Dr.) Artwork by Tobiah Cole. Through December.

JUST PHO (1063 Baxter St.) Drawings and paintings

by Michele Chidester.

KRIMSON KAFE (40 Greensboro Hwy., Watkinsville) Works by Charles Dyer. Through December.

KUMQUAT MAE (18 Barnett Shoals Rd., Watkinsville) Oil paintings by Dortha Jacobson, who is trained in the New Hope, PA Impressionist style. Through December.

LEATHERS BUILDING ART SPACE (675 Pulaski St.) Mixed-media art by Jessica â&#x20AC;&#x153;Cobraâ&#x20AC;? McVey and Trevor Oxley. Through December.

LOFT GALLERY AT CHOPS & HOPS (2 S. Main St., Watkinsville) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Goddesses: The Real and the Imagined,â&#x20AC;? colorful paintings by Melody Croft exploring the emotional complexities of race, gender, age and culture. Through December.

LYNDON HOUSE ARTS CENTER (293 Hoyt St.) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Discovering History: Decorative Arts and Genealogy from the Ware and Lyndon Family Eras.â&#x20AC;? Through Jan. 12. â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;&#x153;Arts from Indian Asia: Selections from Local Collections.â&#x20AC;? Through Jan. 26.

MADISON MORGAN CULTURAL CENTER (424 S. Main St., Madison) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Consequences of Warâ&#x20AC;? features â&#x20AC;&#x153;Flight,â&#x20AC;? an exhibit of lithographs by 12 mid-century masters. Through Feb. 24.

MAMAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S BOY (197 Oak St.) Ink and watercolor art by Meg Abbott.

OCONEE COUNTY LIBRARY (1080 Experiment Station Rd.) Photography by Reid Callaway and Leigh Lofgren. Through December.

SEWCIAL STUDIO (160 Tracy St.) Hand-dyed art quilts by Anita Heady and rust and over-dyed fabric on canvas by Bill Heady.

SIPS ESPRESSO CAFE (1390 Prince Ave.) Paintings

by Anne Wills. Through Feb. 4.

STRAND HAIR STUDIO (1625 S. Lumpkin St.) Unique paintings, assemblages and collages by Charley Seagraves and blown glass by Sy Dowling.

TOWN 220 (220 W. Washington St., Madison) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Observationsâ&#x20AC;? includes encaustic paintings by Mary Leslie. Through Jan. 26.

VISIONARY GROWTH GALLERY (2400 Booger Hill Rd., Danielsville) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Brainedâ&#x20AC;? features works by Grover Hogan, Tim Gartrell, Michael McAleer, Haru Park, John Crowe and special guest artist Bud Lee. Through December.

WHITE TIGER (217 Hiawassee Ave.) China plates featuring collages by Jasey Jones. Through December.

DEPOT GALLERY F I N E UF O L K UC R A F T ARTISTS

Our Elves will be keeping the gallery

â?&#x201E; OPEN EVERY DAY â?&#x201E; THRU CHRISTMAS

Matt Alston Jeff Bishop NEW! John Cleaveland Leigh Ellis PM Goulding Larry Hamilton Cindy Jerrell Nick Joslyn Peter Loose Anna Marino Tom Phillips Michael Pierce John Weber Cheri Wranosky

â?&#x201E;

10am-6pm

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Conveniently Located on Hwy 441 in Farmington 706-769-5379 www.FarmingtonDepotGallery.org Farmingtongallery@gmail.com Like us on Facebook

AWESOMEST PRESENTS EVER!

OPEN EVERY DAY TILL CHRISTMAS!

Junkmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Daughterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Brother ' %NC[VQP 5V Ĺ

NO

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FOR REGISTERIN WINTER 706-355-3161 to Register CLA CLAS Y SES!

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-ERRY #HRISTMAS

Schedule info at

WWW.GOODDIRT.NET

KIDSâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; OUT-OF-SCHOOL WORKSHOP ON DECEMBER 21 & JANUARY 2-4 Ages 6+ 9am-3pm $55/day

&%(* 7VmiZg Hi# Â&#x2122; ,%+"*)-"*(() lll#ad[iVgihjeean#Xdb

DECEMBER 19, 2012 ¡ FLAGPOLE.COM

27

classifieds

Buy It, Sell It, Rent It, Use It! Place an ad anytime at flagpole.com  Indicates images available at flagpole.com

Real Estate Apartments for Rent 1BR/1BA. All elec. Nice apt.

Water provided. On bus line. Single pref. Avail now!

(706) 543-4271.

1BR/1BA apt. Adjacent to UGA campus. Avail.

Dec. or Jan. $475–520/ mo. Water, parking, pest, trash p/u. No pets.

(706) 354-4261.

1, 2 & 3BR units avail. all in 5 Pts. area. Rent beginning for 1BR units at $500/mo.

2BR units begin at $700/ mo. Call (706) 546-0300 for additional info or to schedule a time to view.

Looking for a place live? Turn to FLAGPOLE CLASSIFIEDS to find roommates, apartments, houses, etc.

2BR apts. Tile, W/D furnished, air. Dwntn. & bus route. Security provided. $500/mo. Call Louis, (706) 338-3126.

Apts. on great in–town streets. Grady & Boulevard.

Walk everywhere!

Water & garbage paid. $495–$750/mo. Check o u t w w w. b o u l e v a r d propertymanagement. com or call (706) 5489797.

Available Jan. Large 1BR Dwntn. Out of bar scene, close to everything.

Historic bldg. Light w/ large windows. DGH Properties.

Call George, (706) 3400987.

Avail. now! 2BR/1BA. All elec. Water, trash incl. 125 Honeysuckle Lane, right behind the new Steak ‘N Shake. $450/mo. w/ $300 dep. Lease & references req’d. Call (706) 227-6000.

flagpole classifieds Reach Over 30,000 Readers Every Week!

Business Services Real Estate Music For Sale

Employment Vehicles Messages Personals

BASIC RATES* Individual Real Estate Business (RTS) Run-‘Til-Sold** Online Only***

$10 per week $14 per week $16 per week $40 per 12 weeks $5 per week

* Ad enhancement prices are viewable at flagpole.com ** Run-‘Til-Sold rates are for MERCHANDISE ONLY *** Available for individual rate categories only

PLACE AN AD • At flagpole.com, pay with credit card or PayPal account • Call our Classifieds Dept. (706) 549-0301 • Email us at class@flagpole.com

A unique 1BR/1.5BA apt. in a vintage house turned triplex. Cozy feel, ver y clean, excellent location on Jefferson Rd. Laundry room W/D incl. Ceiling fans. $550/mo. Call Sharon for more information. (706) 351-3074.

I heart Flagpole Classifieds!

Dwntn., 1BR/1BA flat, $ 4 6 5 / m o . Avail. now.

Water, gas, trash pick-up incl. Free on-site laundry.

Joiner Management, (706) 353-6868.

Eastside quadraplex, 2BR/2BA, $500/mo. & 2BR/1BA, $475/mo.

Eastside duplex, 2BR/1BA & FP, $525/mo. 3BR/2BA & F P, $ 7 0 0 / m o . C a l l McWaters Realty, (706) 353-2700 or cell, (706) 540-1529.

Half off rent 1st 2 mos. when you mention this ad!

2BR/2BA apts. a few blocks from Dwntn. off North Ave. Pet friendly! Dep. only $250.

Rent from $625-675/mo. incl. trash. (706) 548-2522, www.dovetailmanagement. com.

Need Renters? Flagpole Classifieds can help! Still the lowest rates in town!

Place your ad today at classifieds.flagpole.com or call 706-549-0301.

-?L;H9H;IJ

3 BR / 3 BA Available August

Quiet Wooded Setting on the Oconee River Granite Countertops - Some with Unfinished Basements and Garages Hamilton & Associates 706-613-9001

+ ' 3 + + 1 & 2 BR IN 5 POINTS

GREAT BANG FOR YOUR BUCK! Coming Soon... On-Site Laundry

Hamilton & Associates

706-613-9001 www.athens-ga-rental.com

Woodlake Scarborogh Townhomes Place 2BR/2BA Upscale Living $1,000/mo.

Available Now

3BR/2BA $975/mo.

Available Now

Hamilton & Associates 706-613-9001

• Deadline to place ads is 11:00 a.m. every Monday for the following Wednesday issue • All ads must be prepaid • Set up an account to review your placement history or replace old ads at flagpole.com

28

FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 19, 2012

HOUSES FOR LEASE IN CLARKE COUNTY

Call for Location and Availability.

Hamilton & Associates 706-613-9001

Commercial Property Chase Park Paint Artist Studios. Historic Blvd. artist community. 160 Tracy St. Rent 300 sf., $150 m o . 4 0 0 s f., $ 2 0 0 /m o.

(706) 546-1615 or www. athenstownproperties.com.

Eastside offices, 1060 Gaines School Rd. Rent 750 sf. $900/ mo., 400 sf. $600/ mo. (706) 546-1615 or athenstownproperties. com.

For sale/lease. Commercial/ residential. Huge home on busline, near campus.

2 kitchens, DR, 2LRs, 4-5BR/2BA. Lg. yard, porch.

Off-street parking. $1150/ mo. $399,000. David, (706) 247-1398; Wilson, (706) 202-0948.

Prince Ave. near Daily G r o c e r y, 2 n d f l o o r, 4 huge offices w/ lobby & kitchen. Super nice. $1600/ mo. Call Cole, (706) 2022733. www.boulevard propertymanagement. com.

Condos for Rent 1 tenant wanted, Milledge Place. $400/mo., Avail. now! Utils. not incl. Close to campus & UGA/Athens busline. No smoking/pets.

Swimming pool. (909) 9577058, williamsreza@gmail. com.

Flagpole Magazine wishes you a Happy Holidays!

JAMESTOWN 2BR/2.5BA Townhouse In Five Points

6(" #64-*/&t48*..*/( 100PET FRIENDLY Available Now

Hamilton & Associates 706-613-9001

TOWNHOUSES IN 5 POINTS, EAST SIDE AND WEST SIDE Call today Prices range from $ to view!

750-$1000

Hamilton & Associates 706-613-9001

DUPLEXES

AVAILABLE CLARKE & OCONEE COUNTIES Call for Availability

Hamilton & Associates 706-613-9001

2BRs & studios Dwntn. across from campus and 4BR at Urban Lofts for Fall semester. 2BR a v a i l . i m m e d i a t e l y.

(404) 557-5203, www. downtownathensrentals. weebly.com.

2BR/1BA condo. Campus close. Security gate, pool, fitness center. Excellent condition. $600/mo. (706) 206-2347.

3BR/2BA Eastside townhome. On bus route.

W/D incl. FP. Pets OK. Avail.

Jan. 1st. Short term lease avail. Only $700/mo.! Aaron, (706) 207-2957.

Just reduced! Investor’s West-side condo. 2BR/2BA, F P, 1 5 0 0 s f . , g r e a t investment, lease 12 mos. at $575/mo. Price in $40s.

For more info, call McWaters Realty at (706) 353-2700 or (706) 540-1529.

Duplexes For Rent 205 Little Street.

2BR/1BA. Water, gas, power incl. Near Dwntn. $550/mo.

Call Joiner Management (706) 353-6868.

5 Pts. duplex. 2BR/1BA. Renovated, HWflrs., CHAC, W/D provided.

Across street from Memorial Park.

Extremely quiet. No pets. 9–12 mo. lease.

253 Marion Dr. $650/mo.

Graduate students & professionals preferred. w w w. r e n t a l s a t h e n s . com. Reference quad.

(706) 202-9805.

Looking for a place live? Turn to FLAGPOLE CLASSIFIEDS to find roommates, apartments, houses, etc.

Brick duplex, 2BR/1BA, very clean. Just 2 mi. to campus on north side Athens. 2 units avail. Pets OK. $500/ mo. + dep. Call Sharon, (706) 351-3074.

RIVERS EDGE

LARGE 2BR/2BA TOWNHOUSES AND FLATS

Some units include fireplaces and Washer & Dryers. $550-$600/mo. Call Today to view.

Hamilton & Associates 706-613-9001

Houses for Rent 2BR/1BA duplex, LR, dining room, kitchen. W/D connections. Avail. Jan. 1.

2 blocks from 5 Pts. $800/ mo. Call David, (706) 5402093.

3BR/3BA newer houses, Dwntn. Walk everywhere!

Walk-in closets, stainless, private BA, porches, deck.

W/D incl., pre-leasing for fall. $1500/mo. Aaron, (706) 207-2957.

3BR/3BA. Cool moder n house off Barber St. New construction, HWflrs., Ikea kitchen, 4 porches, walk Dwntn. Pets OK! $1300/ mo. + dep. Avail. Jan. 1. Call (706) 338-0707.

Photos:www.facebook. com/HelpUsSublet.

3BR/2BA, 2077 S. Lumpkin, $ 1 2 0 0 / m o . W / D . , D W, sec. sys. & ceiling fans.

3BR/2BA, 2071 Lumpkin, $1000/mo. incl. water, lawn maint. & garbage. W/D, DW. (706) 546-0300.

3BR/2BA house Dwntn.

Walk everywhere! W/D incl.

Fenced backyard. Pets OK. Avail 1/1/13. Short or long term lease option. Only $1000/mo. Aaron, (706) 207-2957.

Rent your properties in Flagpole Classifieds!

Ask about our specials.

Call (706) 549-0301!

3BR/1.5BA. Brick. Fenced in yard. N’hood dead end s t re e t . G a s h e a t . W / D hookup. HWflrs. Located off Winterville Rd., just past Beaverdam Rd. $600/mo.

(706) 338-5384.

3BR/1.5BA. 2 story brick house. Large fenced in backyard. HWflrs. W/D & fridge furnished. Central/ gas heat. Eastside. 1048 College Station Rd. $700/ mo. (706) 338-5384.

3BR/2BA in Normaltown.

Avail. now! HWflrs., CHAC, quiet street. Grad students pref’d. Rent negotiable.

(706) 372-1505.

4BR/4BA newer houses, Dwntn. Walk everywhere!

Walk-in closets, stainless, private BA, porches, deck.

W/D incl., pre-leasing for fall. $1900/mo. Aaron, (706) 207-2957.

Cedar Creek: 4BR/2BA, partially fenced yd., $950/ mo. 5 Pts.: Off Baxter St., 4BR/2BA, $1000/ mo. Eastside: 5BR/2BA, large lot, $1000/mo. Call McWaters Realty, (706) 3532700, (706) 540-1529.

Rent your properties i n F l a g p o l e Classifieds! Photos and long-term specials available.

Call (706) 549-0301!

Houses for Sale Why pay rent? For sale: duplex. 2BR/1BA each side.

HWflrs. & renovated. Near ARMC. 147 & 149 Hart Ave. $118,500. (706) 202-9805.

Parking & Storage Parking places for rent across from UGA. $30/mo.

(706) 354-4261.

Roommates Re-listed! Roommate needed immediately for house off Pulaski St. Screened porch, W/D. Only a 10 min. walk from Dwntn.

Only $250/mo. Calls only: (706) 548-9744.

Rooms for Rent Live in a quiet, spacious home in Athens, 7 min. from UGA, 300/mo. + 1/4 utils. Phone (678) 684-8175 or (214) 542-0280 or email gprae@live.com.

For Sale Furniture King sized bed frame and dresser for sale. Cherry wo o d , g o o d c o n d i t i o n , never been used. $800.

(706) 318-8278.

Miscellaneous Archipelago Antiques.

23 years of fine antiques, art & retro. Underneath Homeplace. At 1676 S. Lumpkin St. (706) 3544297.

Come to Cillies, 175 E. Clayton St. for vintage L o u i s Vu i t t o n . 2 0 % o ff single purchase of clothing, sandals and jewelry (excl. J. Crew). 1/ person.

Go to Agora! Awesome!

Affordable! The ultimate store! Specializing in retro e v e r y t h i n g : antiques, furniture, clothes, bikes, records & players! 260 W. Clayton St., (706) 3160130.

I n s t a n t c a s h is now being paid for good vinyl records & CDs in fine condition. Wuxtr y Records, at corner of Clayton & College downtown. (706) 3699428.

Sell cars, bikes, electronics and instruments with Flagpole Classifieds. Now with online pics! Go to classifieds.flagpole. com today.



Do you have a special needs pet?

Let Athens Specialized Small Animal Care Center care for your pet while you cannot. website: w w w. a t h e n s s p e c i a l i z e d smallanimalcarecenter.com.

Music

Nuçi’s Space needs your old instruments & music gear! All donations are tax-deductible. Call (706) 227-1515 or come by Nuçi’s Space, 396 Oconee St.

Instruction Athens School of Music. Instruction in guitar, bass, drums, piano, voice, brass, woodwinds, strings, banjo, mandolin, fiddle & more. From beginner to expert. Instrument repairs avail. Visit www.

AthensSchoolofMusic.com, (706) 543-5800.

Music Services Fret Shop. Professional guitar repairs & modifications, setups, electronics, precision fretwork. Previous clients incl. R.E.M., Widespread Panic, Cracker, Bob Mould, John Berry, Abbey Road Live!, Squat. (706) 5491567.

Wedding bands. Quality, professional bands.

Weddings, parties. Rock, jazz, etc. Call Classic City Entertainment. ( 7 0 6 ) 5 4 9 - 1 5 6 7 . w w w. classiccityentertainment. com. Featuring The Magictones - Athens’ premiere wedding & party band. www.themagictones. com.

Do you want to make $$$ with your music related business? Are you advertising in Flagpole?

Call (706) 549-0301 for details.

ATHENS LOCAL BUSINESSES:

USE US or LOS E US

Spa

Equipment A l e s i s D M 5 e l e c t ro n i c drums, $425. Pearl piccolo snare drum, $100. Peavey EX electric hollow body guitar (ES335 copy), $200.

1960s Silvertone Acoustic, restored w/ hardshell case, $425. Ernie Ball Musicman Stingray Bass w/ gig bag, $650. Fender precision bass, deluxe (extra pick-up) w/ hardshell case, $475.

Ampeg SVT-4 bass amp, $625. Ampeg bass cabinet 4-8’s, 1-15 classic series, $400. Peavey renown (solo series) guitar amp, $180. Ibanez (left handed) a c o u s t i c , $ 8 0 . K o re a n Fender Strat (cream), $250.

Johnson wedge monitor, $100. Peavey IPR 1600 power amp & Behringer mixer, $360. Pair of Peavey SP2G’s, $600. Call (706) 296-4034 & ask for Andrew.

Pets

The location of Athens’ best massage therapists, estheticians & nail technicians is not classified.

Call The Spa at Foundry Park Inn now at (706) 4259700.

Jobs

When you buy from local independent businesses, you are helping keep your favorite Local Athens establishments open and are contributing to the vitality of the Athens economy.

Full-time

Follow Buy Local Athens on Facebook and email us at athensbuylocal@gmail.com to join the We Are Athens organization.

Mama’s Boy is looking for a baker. Please email resume to mamasboyathens@ gmail.com or apply after 2:30 pm. No phone calls, please.

Musicians Wanted Atlanta based Christian reggae musician looking for artist to split the show at the Healing Arts Centre i n A t h e n s ( F e b . - M a rc h 2013). Call Stephen (678) 520-6632 or email reynoldstephen@yahoo. com.

Seeking FT employee to help w/ social media, marketing & advertising.

Prefer proficiency in WordPress & website s o f t w a re . P l e a s e b r i n g resume to 1452 Prince Ave.

Part-time F a n t a s y Wo r l d ! H i r i n g private lingerie models. No exp. necessary. We train.

Flexible scheduling. Call (706) 613-8986 or visit 1050 Baxter St., Athens.

Services

Notices

Cleaning

Lost and Found

Blessed Hands Cleaning Service. Business/ residential. Student workers, senior rates, holiday/birthday rates.

Before/after event cleaning. We do dishes, stove, fridge, oven + more.

Friendly prices. (678) 6984260.

Lost and found pets can be found in Flagpole Classifieds.

Call (706) 549-0301 or visit classifieds.flagpole. c o m t o re t u r n t h e m home.

Happy Holidays from Flagpole Magazine!

Looking for that obscure, hard-to-find present?

Have something you don’t want but you’re sure someone else does? Connect with Flagpole Classifieds! Lowest rates in town & tons of holiday cheer to boot. (706) 549-0301 or classifieds.flagpole.com

Have a clean house for the holidays or give a cleaning gift! 2BR/1BA, $40.

Local, independent, professional. Earth & pet friendly. Text/ call Nick, (706) 8519087.

Messages

NEWLY RENOVATED APARTMENTS

Located on Broad & Clayton Streets

PRELEASE NOW for all 2013!

Live across from the UGA Arch & above your favorite downtown hangouts!

706-613-2742

www.FredsHP.com

Week of 12/17/12 - 12/23/12

The Weekly Crossword 1

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ACROSS 1 Magician's word 7 Teases playfully 13 Finish on top 14 Bar fixture?

16 Bookstore section 17 Bahrain or Dubai 18 Positive end 19 Back of the boat 21 Waterwheel 22 Stem joint 23 Radio station sign 25 Audition for a part 26 Word before card or stick 27 First or second, e.g.

29 Colorado native 30 Darkroom apparatus 32 Nursery need 34 When repeated, title of a Jim Carrey movie 35 Have ___ on (claim) 36 Nonessential organ 39 Nerve ending 43 You-here link 44 Word for word 46 Poetic "before" 47 Kauai keepsakes

Copyright 2012 by The Puzzle Syndicate

49 Angler's basket 50 Pekoe and oolong 51 Debate topic 53 The whole nine yards 54 Montana mining city 55 Associated with riffraff 57 Skating exhibition 59 Leading lady 60 Mouth sores 61 Prefix with day or year 62 Long-haired DOWN 1 You or me 2 Update, as a kitchen 3 Give the slip to 4 Of sound mind 5 Quirky behavior 6 Poisonous flowering plant 7 Stupid person 8 Garment border 9 Opposed to, hillbilly-style 10 Uproar 11 Recurrence of an old problem

12 Fill to excess 13 Derby winner's strut 15 Library patron 20 Event for exhibitors 23 Like some vegetables 24 Groundbreaking 27 Bay window 28 Defamatory text 31 Pub pint 33 Nile viper 35 Remiss 36 Northwest Indian 37 "Blue Hawaii" star 38 Free time 39 Film spool 40 Starts getting molars 41 Elocution 42 Stitches over 45 Wall Street worker 48 Hefty wrestlers 50 Pachyderm projections 52 Cast forth 54 "Well done!" in Italy 56 NY to RI direction 58 Aries or Taurus

Crossword puzzle answers are available at www.flagpole.com/news/crossword

DECEMBER 19, 2012 · FLAGPOLE.COM

29

comics

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FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 19, 2012

reality check Matters Of The Heart And Loins A friend of mine was recently broken up with by her boyfriend; he texted her the final word on their relationship, and she is devastated. I’d like to be a good friend and help her through her heartbreak, but this guy sucked.

He cheated, he lied, he hated her friends, and did I mention the text breakup? She knows he sucks and she was considering ending the relationship as well, but since he did it first, she’s acting like a maniac with all the what ifs and regrets. He sucked, he treated her like shit, she knows this, yet I cannot do anything to comfort her, nor do I really want to. What’s a levelheaded friend to do?

Enough Is enough All a level-headed friend can do, EIE, is listen patiently for a few days, and then tell her to get the fuck over it. Tell her exactly what you just told me: He sucked, he was a liar and a cheater, and she was thinking about breaking up with him anyway. If she hates you for saying it, you can blame it on me. If you can’t be honest with your good friend in a situation like this, then you aren’t really friends. You can also tell her that I said she might feel like shit now, but in a year she won’t even remember why she was upset about this, or at least she will try to pretend like she wasn’t, because the memory of it will be so embarrassing. This is the trick, people. If you can just get through the initial shock of being dumped by a loser who didn’t deserve you, the rest is easy. And it will make your next boyfriend seem that much better.

There’s a girl whom I work with who is pretty new in town. She has been asking me to hang out for about three weeks, and she is always very flirty and sweet and super cute.

My only hesitations are that A) I don’t really know her, and B) we work together.

So, the other day I finally agreed to meet up with her. We made plans to go to a show that is coming up in a couple weeks. Then, at work yesterday, I was talking to a guy whom I work with and he said that he ran into her at a bar last weekend and she was seriously hitting on his friends that he was there with, then hitting on him, then got totally drunk and went home with a different guy whom we all work with, who has a girlfriend. This girl knows that the guy she went home with has a girlfriend. I don’t know if anything happened between them or not, but the whole idea that she would leave with this guy when we have a date planned is just weird to me, and it makes me think that she is probably not the kind of girl I want to get involved with.

She was hitting on me again at work yesterday, after I found out about the weekend, and she mentioned how she was really looking forward to the show and hanging out with me and everything. So, my question is: Should I wait and see what happens, maybe ask her what

was up with going home with our co-worker and give her a chance to explain, or should I just cancel the whole thing?

Anonymous Is it possible that she isn’t asking you out on a date so much as asking you to hang out because she doesn’t know anybody? Also, is it possible that she left the bar with but did not go home with the co-worker? My initial reaction to this situation is to say run in the other direction because it seems like a lot of unnecessary drama, but that might be unfair. It is entirely possible that she did not screw around with a guy who she knows has a girlfriend, right? I mean, if she did, then absolutely steer clear, because that makes her a shitty person. But don’t let a potentially good friend or date get away over something you heard second- or third-hand.

Talk to her before you make any decisions. The sooner the better. Maybe over coffee?

I’m 30 years old, healthy and have generally had a good sex life. A little over a year ago, however, I started noticing that my erection would get sometimes weaker during sex. Then this went from sometimes to always. It’s like it starts out OK, but a minute or two in, it just goes away. Especially if there is (and shouldn’t there be?) a bit of physical exertion. It’s gotten bad enough that the idea of sex is starting to make me anxious.

My doctor prescribed me Viagra (though the doc didn’t rule out the thought that it might just be psychological, because I’m young and otherwise healthy). I haven’t had the chance to try the drug out yet, but my question is: Do you have any advice or think I should go to a specialist? (Are there specialists for this?) I’m just not ready to admit that at 30 I’m going to have to pop a pill to get in the mood from now on.

Anonymous It bothers me that your doctor would just give you a prescription for Viagra without trying to figure out the cause of your problem first. Did you give him a detailed account of the whole history of this problem? (NOTE TO READERS: I got a second, more detailed letter from Anonymous here, describing more about the symptoms and the situation). He said it might be psychological, but did he mention why he thought that or offer to refer you to somebody else? I recommend that you seek out another medical opinion, and if that doesn’t work and you think it might be psychological (though by now it probably is at least partially so, whether it started that way or not), see help in that department as well.

It seems like going straight to a pharmaceutical solution is a bad idea.

Jyl Inov Got a question for Jyl? Submit your anonymous inquiry via Reality Check at flagpole.com.

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