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p. 8

OUR WINTER SALE!

Our Friend Redwine I finally made myself go see our old friend Bucky Redwine.

I say “our,� because he’s probably your friend, too. Bucky has been out of circulation for a while, in the Alzheimer’s unit out at St. Mary’s beautiful campus on Jennings Mill Road. “Where have you been?� he said, his eyes lighting up. I didn’t test to see if he could call my name, but his delight was as evident as my own. We had a great conversation, frequently repeating ourselves, and I left happy to have visited Bucky.

But maybe you came along when Bucky was no longer an Athens fixture. After all, he turned 89 on New Year’s Eve. Even so, you may remember him from Athens, GA: Inside Out, whether or not you ever hit him up for a home loan.

Morgan Roby Redwine, Jr. is an Athens original in a town where there is never a shortage of interesting and eccentric citizens. A biography of Bucky would be a history of our city in the later 20th century. He was a part of it, so outgoing and fun-loving that he always wanted in on the action.

From all accounts he was a puckish lad as a youngster, and he still is.

We all get so focused on our own lives in the present that we not only lose sight of others going through the same struggles, but we forget the rich cavalcade of compatriots who have gone before us. A life like Bucky’s is instructive because he was always so gregarious that he was interested in everybody and was related to many of them.

No life can be summed up in a few paragraphs, especially Bucky’s, but here goes. After he graduated from Athens High School, his father sent him to Virginia Military Institute, where World War II caught up with his generation. Along with a lot of his classmates, Bucky signed up for the Army Air Corps with the belief that they would be granted deferments until they graduated. Instead, they went immediately into training, and Bucky has always before he was 20, Bucky was piloting a P-51 Mustang fighter, pursued his own escorting B-29 bombers on their interests along runs from Iwo Jima to Japan. the war, Bucky finished with other people. his After education at Yale on the G.I. Bill and came back home to Athens, where he has been ever since. He got into banking and became executive vice president of Athens Federal Savings and Loan, now Athens First Bank and Trust—a tobacco-chewing, wise-cracking, vodka-drinking, Volvo-driving banker when a Volvo was an exotic foreign machine. Bucky was a Republican, too, when that party was actually an urban alternative to the rural, conservative Democrats who ruled Georgia.

Bucky belonged to a bridge club, an investment club, the country club, the historical society, the cemetery board, the Methodist Church; he had a Scout troop, he coached Little League, he wrote a weekly column for the Athens Observer, he anchored Observer Television’s weekly talk show. Bucky has always pursued his own interests along with other people. He read a lot about the Civil War, so naturally he organized trips with friends to go see the battlefields, to walk the ground where his forebears fought, to see those scenes with his own eyes in the company of comrades.

Although his restless energy impelled Bucky out into the community more than most, he was typical of the Athenians of his generation who grew up here when the town and the university were small, and everybody knew everybody. They carried that closeness with them as their turn came to lead their town, and they valued character above credentials and integrity more than income.

Bucky is out of it all now, but that twinkle is still in his eye, and he is still a part of all he’s seen, even if the memory eludes him.

Pete McCommons editor@flagpole.com

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EDITOR & PUBLISHER Pete McCommons ADVERTISING DIRECTOR & PUBLISHER Alicia Nickles PRODUCTION DIRECTOR Larry Tenner MANAGING EDITOR Christina Cotter ADVERTISING SALES Anita Aubrey, Melinda Edwards, Jessica Pritchard Mangum MUSIC EDITOR Gabe Vodicka CITY EDITOR Blake Aued CLASSIFIEDS, DISTRIBUTION & OFFICE MANAGER Jessica Smith ASSISTANT OFFICE MANAGER Sydney Slotkin AD DESIGNERS Kelly Hart, Cindy Jerrell CARTOONISTS Cameron Bogue, Lee Gatlin, Missy Kulik, Jeremy Long, David Mack ADOPT ME Special Agent Cindy Jerrell CONTRIBUTORS Hillary Brown, Tom Crawford, Marilyn Estes, Derek Hill, Jyl Inov, Gordon Lamb, Dan Mistich, Kristen Morales, Bobby Power, John G. Nettles, Stella Smith, Drew Wheeler CIRCULATION Charles Greenleaf, Will Donaldson, Matt Shirley, Emily Armond, Jessica Smith WEB DESIGNER Kelly Hart CALENDAR Jessica Smith ADVERTISING INTERNS Charlotte Hawkins, CD Skehan MUSIC INTERN Jennifer Barron COVER PHOTOGRAPH of the Krush Girls (Dan Donahue and Chris Bilheimer) at the GMOA by Michael Lachowski (see story on p. 7) STREET ADDRESS: 112 Foundry St., Athens, GA 30601 MAILING ADDRESS: P.O. Box 1027, Athens, GA 30603 EDITORIAL: (706) 549-9523 ¡ ADVERTISING: (706) 549-0301 ¡ FAX: (706) 548-8981 ADVERTISING: ads@flagpole.com CALENDAR: calendar@flagpole.com COMICS: comics@flagpole.com EDITORIAL: editor@flagpole.com

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Buena Vista Back on Agenda Buckle Your Seatbelts: The Buena Vista sites of code violations� and dragging down Heights historic district proposal is back on property values in nearby neighborhoods. the Athens-Clarke Commission’s agenda for With a spate of development downtown discussion Thursday and a Feb. 5 vote. It’s bringing 1,500 new bedrooms, the cycle virtually unchanged from November, when the is about to start again. Girtz has asked commission tabled the controversial district to Mayor Nancy Denson put the commission’s explore other options.

Legislative Review Committee on the case. “I think there’s been a little time for comThe LRC and planners would look at crime missioners to get some of their answers,� says and code violations at half-vacant multifamCommissioner Jared Bailey, who represented ily properties, examine ways to redevelop the neighborhood until new districts took those properties—perhaps leveling them for effect at the beginning of the year. (The greenspace—and assess how to put affordable new commissioner for intown neighborhoods along Prince Avenue is George Maxwell.)

Those answers weren’t quite what commissioners had hoped for. With residents and landlords sharply divided over a historic district, they asked planners to present alternatives that might appease both sides. A conservation district “didn’t really fit to me,� Bailey says. It would have given ACC officials more control over what’s developed Buena Vista isn’t exactly social these days. in the neighborhood, with tight restrictions on homes’ scale, mass workforce housing near services like health and design. But it would have done nothing care and bus lines, rather than pushing it to to protect historic properties, and Planning the outskirts of town.

Director Brad Griffin convinced them that it “Certainly, the housing industry does not would be too expensive and labor-intensive to operate as a unified front, acting in the best implement. public interest, as we’ve seen from the boomSome Buena Vista residents have been and-bust cycle of the past decade,� he said in working for years to create a historic disan email to Denson and fellow commissioners. trict in the neighborhood to the north of “Many investors are [not] concerned about the Normaltown’s retail strip—one of Athens’ first market as a whole, just their latest project’s streetcar suburbs—to protect mill houses that profitability. date back to the late 19th century, as well as “Though it will not be easy work, diving keeping out what they regard as unwanted into these questions and developing policy gentrification and McMansion-style developresponses can produce a stronger community ment. Others have argued that a historic for newcomers and longtime residents alike.� district would stifle developers’ creativity and that houses built in the 1950s and ‘60s, while An Unhappy Camper: In addition to giveligible for protection, aren’t truly historic and ing pointless speeches, obstructing bills and don’t deserve it. arguing on television, congressmen and their Commissioner Kelly Girtz says he’s working staffs do actually get some work done from on a proposal to tweak the historic district’s time to time. Part of their job is help constituboundaries, removing some of those questionents navigate the federal bureaucracy to get able homes, and he hopes to have it ready in passports or on disability, for example. To that time for the agenda-setting meeting Thursday. end, U.S. Rep. Paul Broun recently announced He says he’ll spend the next few weeks talking a series of Constituent Services Days in towns to property owners about the district lines. around the 10th District where his staffers will Buena Vista historic district advocates “ask questions, find solutions, and help you didn’t get the kind of assistance from county cut through the red tape.� planners that other historic districts received Tell that to Andrew Totter. The Athens in the past, Girtz says, which led to the aniresident says he’s “in between� Medicaid and mosity over the issue. (Residents pushing Medicare. He’s been asking Broun’s Athens the historic district, who hired University of office for weeks for help and says he’s gotten Georgia graduate students to help out with no response. “Here’s a guy who’s an MD and their proposal, blame budget cuts at the should know better,� he says. “I can’t get any Planning Department.) “If some of that interhelp.� action had happened earlier on, it might have Totter says he has some serious health been ready to fly,� Girtz says. problems and needs a $100,000 surgery, but right now he’s uninsured. He usually votes Vexing Vacancies: Girtz is also tackling Republican, but he’s “starting to be a big fan another big issue facing Athens. For decades, of socialized medicine. when new apartment complexes were built, “It seems like his office is saying, ‘Well, college students from upper-class families, he’s just looking for handouts,’� Totter says. flush with HOPE money, flocked to them, leav- “I’m looking to live, is what it boils down to.� ing the old ones to gradually fall into disrepair, creating, he says, “havens for crime and Blake Aued news@flagpole.com

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“I’m coordinating the downtown plan with what’s been proposed, so it all meshes together nicely,� he said.

The team has surveyed about 1,800 so far regarding how they want to see downtown A date hasn’t been set yet, but the writgrow and change and hopes to contact 2,000 ers of a master plan for downtown Athens are to 3,000 people before the process is comscheduling another town hall meeting next plete, Crowley said. “No other master plan month to gather input on specific ideas. that I’m aware of contacted that many people Jack Crowley, a University of Georgia personally,� he said.

College of Environment and Design professor In public hearings and on survey forms, who is overseeing the downtown master plan, Athens residents have said that a lack of and his team of graduate students are “lookgreenspace and getting around on foot are ing at open space, connectivity, walkability,� two major challenges facing downtown. When he told the Athens Downtown Development asked at a November town hall meeting where Authority last week. Among the ideas they’re new greenspace should be located, 10 percent tossing around: A new street grid configurasaid a new location. Many people have also tion, a park in place of bemoaned the closing of a stormwater detention city blocks to make way “I’m coordinating the pond at the Multimodal for urban renewal projTransportation Center downtown plan with what’s ects in the 1960s, the and restoring the Murmur UGA Special Collections trestle along Firefly Trail. been proposed, so it all Library and the Classic Currently, Athens-Clarke Center expansion. meshes together nicely.� and state Department of The ADDA board also Transportation officials appointed members plan to bypass the trestle when they build a Erica Cascio and Brian Brodrick to review the rails-to-trails project near Dudley Park, leaving job descriptions for a new executive directhe half-demolished landmark to further decay. tor and parking director. Current Executive Crowley said he will run those concepts Director Kathryn Lookofsky is leaving when her past the master plan’s steering committee for contract expires in June. Cascio, the board’s approval later this month. Then, the February chairwoman for the past two years, said she town hall meeting is intended to win public hopes to hire a replacement for Lookofsky support for such “big ideas,� he said.

by May 1 to give that person time to put in Crowley is meeting with the developers of notice at his current job and in case Lookofsky downtown projects that are in the works or finds work before her contract expires. “I’d under construction, such as Selig Enterprises’ like to get it done sooner rather than later,�

Oconee Street mixed-use proposal, The Cascio said.

Standard student apartments at Thomas Street The board also elected lawyer Bill Overend and North Avenue, and the unnamed developas the new chairman and real estate broker ment slated for the SunTrust parking lot and Chris Blackmon as vice chairman. part of the bank building at Broad and Hull streets.

Blake Aued news@flagpole.com

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capitol impact athens rising There is not an infinite amount of money in Georgia’s annual budget. At the most, legislators will have a little more than $19 billion in state revenues to spend on the programs that are funded. Because there are a limited number of tax dollars to allocate, lawmakers have to make hard decisions about what they will pay for and what they will discard.

We have seen that hard choice being made over the past decade. The General Assembly and the governor made the choice to give dozens of tax breaks to corporations and special interest groups during that 10-year period, in the purported belief that these financial incentives would help “create jobs.”

Legislators are required by the constitution to adopt a balanced budget every year. When you grant that many tax breaks, you have to pay for them somehow.

Our elected leadership effectively paid for those tax breaks by cutting off state funds to local school systems. Since Sonny Perdue became governor in 2003, Georgia has enacted a series of “austerity cuts” to education that reduced state funding to local schools by a combined total of more than $5 billion. You can have some enlightening debates as to whether this was the best choice we could have made for the state’s future wellbeing, but it was the choice that legislators made.

As the latest session of the General Assembly gets underway, lawmakers find themselves with another interesting choice to make about their state’s future. They will be asked to pass a bill that allows the Georgia World Congress Center Authority to spend $300 million in hotel-motel tax revenues on a new stadium for Arthur Blank and his Atlanta Falcons football franchise.

At the same time they are mulling that proposal to give state tax money to one of the wealthiest individuals in Georgia, legislators will have a decision to make about the Medicaid program that provides healthcare

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FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ JANUARY 16, 2013

services for low-income families. The Legislature adopted a Medicaid provider fee— also known as a hospital bed tax—in 2010 to provide additional funds for the program.

Each hospital pays a 1.45 percent tax on their net patient revenue, and the money brings in about $400 million a year in federal matching funds that help pay for Medicaid services.

The provider fee will expire this year unless the General Assembly passes a bill to extend it. If the tax is not renewed, the financially stressed Medicaid program will be in deeper trouble and hospitals in rural areas that depend on Medicaid payments will likely be forced to close.

The bed tax is paid by hospitals, and the state’s three major hospital groups are united in their support of it: the Georgia Hospital Association, the Georgia Alliance of Community Hospitals and the rural hospital group HomeTown Health.

Gov. Nathan Deal and House Speaker David Ralston also agree that some type of provider fee will need to be enacted to keep Medicaid afloat and allow rural hospitals to continue operating.

They are facing powerful opposition, however, from anti-tax activist Grover Norquist.

“A vote in favor of extending the bed tax is a violation of the Taxpayer Protection Pledge,” Norquist said last fall in a letter to legislators warning them not to renew the provider fee.

Georgia’s lawmakers have some important choices to make. Is a football stadium for an NFL team owned by a billionaire more important to our citizens than keeping rural hospitals open? Do legislators owe their allegiance to the people who voted to put them in office, or to a political crank in Washington, D.C.?

The choices they make on these vital issues will say a lot about the future prosperity of this state.

Tom Crawford tcrawford@gareport.com

The Future of West Broad After 27 years, Vision Video is closing its flagship location on Broad Street. (Yes, the other two locations will remain open.) With this icon of Athens soon to be gone, a prime piece of property is up for grabs.

We can lament another locally owned business falling prey to Amazon or Netflix, but this section of Broad between downtown and Milledge Avenue has seen other changes in the past few years. Treehouse Kid & Craft opened in the old, crazy-ass Nuwaubian/ Egyptian cult building. (Though it’s a great example of adaptive reuse, I miss the green pharaohs.) This space is also occupied by Luna Bakery and, though it’s not yet official, I’ve heard Luna might be opening a restaurant in the third space in the building. Since Peaches Fine Foods closed last summer, another restaurant is needed in the area. Phi Kappa Tau is renovating and eventually adding onto the old

West Broad Street needs more “welldesigned two- to three-story structures that offer goods and services that expand area offerings,” ACC Commissioner Kelly Girtz says.

“Athens benefits when more opportunity is available in a smaller geographic area.”

Girtz says he has not heard much from constituents about what they would like to see in the area, but it is clear that oversized, intrusive structures are not wanted. Like Girtz, Evan Smith, beer guru and owner of Blockader Homebrew Supply, would like to see well-designed, renovated buildings and local businesses. Smith agrees that the area is not equipped to handle large-scale chains like other parts of Broad but is perfect for smaller, local businesses that attracts a variety of clientele. While this section of Broad is the most likely direction for downtown expansion, it shouldn’t mimic downtown.

Blake Aued

Choices Will Affect Us All

Vision Video is an Athens icon, but the building it occupies is not.

Steak & Ale/Red Rooster/Taco Mac building nearby, though my guess is that most traffic generated from the fraternity will be aimed toward downtown and not up the hill.

Which poses an interesting question: What is to become of this area of town? Its proximity to downtown seems to be more of a problem than a blessing. Being so close to downtown keeps the rents and taxes high on many of these properties, creating an incentive for redevelopment.

No development applications have been filed in the area, according to the AthensClarke Planning Department, meaning that, as of now, there are no immediate plans for change. Eventually, much-needed change will come. Hopefully, it will fit the wants and needs of residents and business owners in the neighborhood while serving as an attractive entrance into the heart of Athens.

This section of Broad Street is the main entrance into downtown from the west and should be one of our best-looking thoroughfares. Although there are several great examples of mid-century modern architecture, most of the buildings are so run-down that people notice their dilapidated condition, not their architectural aesthetics. While almost all of the businesses in the area are local, many of the buildings themselves are owned by outof-towners. (Vision Video’s building, owned by the Benson family, is an exception.) Absentee landlords have few interests beyond collecting the rent check.

Restaurants and retail are viable options for this section of Broad, but the nightlife should be kept downtown, says Pat Gannon, a college-age resident. “I can walk downtown to bars or to the co-op for groceries, but more restaurants and retail in the area would be nice,” Gannon says. While there are many student renters in the area, there are also many homeowners with nine-to-five jobs and children, who would probably not be too happy with bars coming into their neighborhood but wouldn’t mind walking or driving to restaurants and shops that cater to their needs. A few businesses are filling this niche.

David Dwyer of Atlas Real Estate Advisors sees Athens as a city of nodes with roadways connecting the nodes like spokes on a wheel, and the downtown and Beechwood nodes are expanding to meet each other. For example, a Dollar General is opening near the Rocksprings Street intersection on Broad Street.

Dwyer says nearby Baxter Street used to be a walkable, vibrant neighborhood, though in my time in Athens, it has been little more than an auto-centric corridor connecting campus and Beechwood. It just goes to show how much things change over time. Perhaps 15 years from now, I’ll be telling another Flagpole columnist about back in the day, when the neighborhood wasn’t vibrant or walkable; it was little more than a corridor connecting a couple of Athens nodes.

Stella Smith

Michael Lachowski

The GMOA Gets Funky For

some people, including this writer, the suggestion of “a fun time at a museum” sounds like “a fun time at a mausoleum”— walking around airy rooms looking at ornate but lifeless objects. People who’d rather spend an afternoon at a museum than a ballpark are the same people who’d rather (or say they’d rather) listen to NPR than rock and roll, or watch nature specials instead of “Hawaii Five-0.” And one imagines—because you certainly wouldn’t go—that a museum reception would be a quiet, stuffy affair with classical music, wine and cheese, and a handful of established society people. Until you find out that Michael Lachowski—local artist, musician (of Pylon fame), photographer, designer, DJ and friend of many in Athens— joined the Georgia Museum of Art’s public relations team, and he had an idea.

“I said, let’s have a DJ come and play, and stay open until midnight and dance,” says Lachowski. “It was huge. We had 400 people come and stay for hours. People danced and people looked at art. And [museum employee] Betty Alice Fowler said, ‘The best part is, I hardly know anyone here.’ So, Museum Mix was the bomb. Suddenly people were having a party at the museum and seeing art.”

So, it was only natural that when it came time to plan the Elegant Salute, the GMOA’s huge $300-per-plate fundraiser that only occurs every two years (taking place this Saturday, Jan. 19), the museum upped the ante, creating Athens’ first white-tie event with a disco spin: a formal dinner followed by opening the doors (at a reduced $65 admission) to aspiring philanthropists for a dessert and full-spectrum disco dance party featuring a spectacular reunion of Krush Girls, Athens’ favorite DJ duo.

“There’s certainly more than a nod to Truman Capote and his famous black and white ball,” says Betsy Dorminey, chair (with co-chair Paige Carmichael) of the 13th Elegant Salute, dubbed ESXIII:B>W. “Everyone is encouraged to wear black or white formal attire, and there’s lots of room for creativity there. We’ve called ours ‘black into white’ to reflect that the full spectrum of color is contained between those two poles.

And I really want the dance party to reflect the full spectrum of people in Athens. White and black and gay and straight and old and young and rich and not-rich. Everyone’s welcome, everyone can participate, the more the merrier, and we all have more fun that way because everybody brings something wonderful.”

The museum brought something wonderful by asking Daniel Donahue, who now lives in Wisconsin, and Chris Bilheimer, now in Texas, to return to Athens for a Krush Girls reunion for the museum—minus their signature orange jumpsuits. According to Donahue, their response was “an instant ‘yes.’”

“You can’t have ‘party’ without ‘art.’ It’s impossible, even if you want to try and ‘par-tay,’” says Donahue, in his full-on DJ rhythm. “There is still the art part, and we, the Krush Girls, have always supported the art of partying. Bringing our party to the heart of art is an honor. Besides it being an honor, it’s also our duty to move the booty, so we are going to be as classy as we can. I think the white ties are a step up from orange jumpsuits. I think we look good in tails; they shake when we dance, and I like it.”

“I have always been a fan of both high and low art,” concurs Bilheimer, “and I think that having us perform at the GMOA is an awesome mix of the two.”

Of course, art is part of the event, and inspiring the evening’s disco theme is 1970s artist De Wain Valentine, whose

traveling exhibit “Human Scale” leaves the museum the following week. Even though the lure of the disco party is dancing and fun, the museum hopes attendees will wander through different exhibits and discover what the museum really offers, especially what you experience when seeing the pieces in person.

Initially, the De Wain Valentine exhibit was described with excitement as a display of acrylic sculpture. Seriously? Plastic?

But seeing the pieces in person, one understands the enthusiasm. Huge discs of different colored acrylic, so translucent and hypnotic, that one feels like he/she could fall into them as if they were calming pools of liquid, or a portal to another world. The museum expert used words like “minimalism” and “restraint,” but the sculptures are so cool, and they’re in Athens. How did the museum do that?

“I’ve only worked here nine months, and I have to admit that learning about the nature of a museum, what it’s about, and that it differs from just seeing a cool art show in a gallery, it is a different animal,” says Lachowski. “It’s deeper. It’s more carefully researched and considered. It’s put together with a lot more time and effort, and money, loans and insurance policies. Lots of things go into bringing an exhibition together and presenting it.”

In addition to the exhibits, the museum also hosts a number of free events that are open to the public, including 90 Carlton (named for the museum’s street address), its quarterly reception that combines special tours and workshop activities with food and beer, and the Museum Mix, a dance party that occurs three times a year. There are also several free educational events for kids, including the monthly Family Day (where kids of all ages are shown art and make their own art), fifth grade tours (where the museum busses the kids in from their schools), outreach programs and Teen Studio.

“Teen Studio is limited to 20 teens,” explains Lachowski.

“We provide all the materials. They come in and look at an exhibition with a local artist, and then that artist will take them into a room and guide them in an art-making activity.

And they have pizza,” he adds with a smile. “It’s like this place gives away everything.”

And that takes money, which explains the museum’s enthusiasm for grooming new philanthropists.

“GMOA is the state’s art museum, not just UGA’s, and it’s for everybody. There’s no admission charged,” says Dorminey.

“Philanthropy isn’t just for rich people any more than the museum is. There are going to be some fantastic shows at GMOA in the coming year: treasures from Catherine the Great and a knock-out couture retrospective, to mention just two.

So, make a new year’s resolution to support the arts in your community, and start by celebrating the museum at ESXIII.” It seems the Krush Girls would agree.

“Michael has always elevated dance parties in this town, and there would be no Krush Girls without him,” says Donahue.

“Come celebrate beauty, celebrate movement, celebrate art, but come on, y’all, let’s celebrate being alive and let’s all do it together.”

Sounds like a fun time at a museum.

Marilyn Estes ESXIII:B>W Full Spectrum Disco takes place at the Georgia Museum of Art Saturday Jan. 19 at 9:30 p.m. Tickets are $65 and will be available until noon Friday, Jan. 18. Contact Sarah Mae George at GMOA, 706-543-GMOA (4662) for more information.

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Voting deadline is February 6th and the Favorites will be announced in the Feb. 27th issue of Flagpole.

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favorites.flagpole.com JANUARY 16, 2013 · FLAGPOLE.COM

7

Pay to Play?

Legislature Gets Serious About Ethics Reform

L

ast May, Mayor Nancy Denson flew to New York for the University of Georgia’s Peabody Awards ceremony, the broadcast news equivalent of the Oscars. The University System of Georgia picked up the $1,133 tab for the “awards luncheon, recognition dinner and travel meals for Mayor and guest,” according to state lobbying records.

It wasn’t the first time Denson has traveled on the university dime. (No tax or tuition money is spent on lobbying, but one could argue it diverts other funds away from education.) The University System of Georgia paid $1,648 to bring her to her hometown of Memphis, TN, two years ago to watch the Bulldogs play in the Liberty Bowl. AT&T bought her $375 tickets to a botanical gardens ball in May. And she’s accepted football tickets exceeding $100 in value three times since taking office in January 2011.

It’s legit now, but all those gifts would be illegal under new ethics laws the state legislature will consider this year.

Denson defends accepting the tickets and trips, saying she needs to represent the city and spend time interacting with UGA officials. But she says she can’t afford to pay her own way on her $45,000 salary. “As the mayor of the community, I think it’s very important to attend those kinds of things,” she says.

“But when you have part-time people on part-time salaries, it’s hard to ask people to pay for it out of their own pockets.”

They’ll have to start, if lawmakers follow through on their pledge to enact serious ethics reform. State senators are likely to cap now-unlimited gifts from lobbyists at $100. House Speaker David Ralston (R-Blue Ridge) doesn’t think it makes sense to ban a $101 gift when a $99 one is OK. He once opposed any limits but now supports a complete ban.

“The House is working on a bill that, as I understand it to be, is a complete ban,” says newly elected Rep. Regina Quick (R-Athens), who campaigned on ethics reform. “How that will come about remains to be seen, because the committee is still working on it.”

Almost everyone’s accepting the free tickets and fancy dinners lobbyists hand out, especially under the Gold Dome. Last year, lobbyists spent $1.4 million buying gifts for government officials, mostly at the state level—and that doesn’t include millions more in campaign contributions. UGA Director of Community Relations Pat Allen reported spending $1,438 for Athens-Clarke Commissioner Andy Herod to go to the Outback

8

FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ JANUARY 16, 2013

Bowl in Tampa, FL, in 2011 as the guest of Herod’s wife, UGA Vice President for Public Service and Outreach Jennifer Frum.

State Rep. Chuck Williams (R-Watkinsville), former Rep. Doug McKillip (R-Athens) and Sens. Bill Cowsert (R-Athens) and Frank Ginn (R-Danielsville) have all accepted tickets and meals worth more than $100 apiece from university system, Coca-Cola and Georgia Power lobbyists in the past two years. The party in power, in this case the GOP, gets more perks than the minority.

Just because a politician accepts a trip from a lobbyist doesn’t mean she’s crooked—they’re not all vacations or junkets, Denson says. “I feel like if you have people who don’t know what’s ethical internally, you can’t force it on them,” she says.

But state lawmakers are increasingly realizing that voters don’t like even the perception of influence-peddling. Both parties put questions about ethics reform on their July primary ballots; 72 percent of Democrats said they want to end unlimited lobbyist gifts, while 87 percent of Republicans supported a $100 cap.

“We do not want the public to think our votes are being bought and sold,” says Cowsert, who has opposed a cap in the past. Monday, he and other senators agreed to a loophole-filled $100 cap in the chamber’s rules.

If a cap passes, it will be a stunning turnaround from less than a year ago, when then-freshman Sen. Josh McKoon (R-Columbus) introduced a bill capping lobbyist gifts at $100.

Ralston and Senate leaders blocked the bill, saying they’d already dealt with ethics reform after former Speaker Glenn Richardson resigned in the wake of an affair with a lobbyist.

Ginn co-sponsored it, but in a Capitol culture where fine dining and sporting events grease the wheels, the bill went nowhere.

“When other lobbyists come down the line, [legislators are] looking for Falcons tickets, they’re looking for dinner tickets, they’re looking for pretty much anything they can get their hands on,” says Kelli Persons of the League of Women Voters.

Once legislators got a taste of just how unpopular the current system is, they began to drop their resistance. Over the summer, a group of government watchdog and tea party groups calling themselves the Georgia Alliance for Ethics Reform launched a statewide bus tour drawing attention to the issue.

Dozens of candidates, including Quick and Rep. Spencer Frye (D-Athens) signed a pledge to support a gift cap. Polls and

election results showed the issue resonated with the public. “That’s given us momentum like we’ve never seen,” says William Perry, executive director of Common Cause Georgia.

McKoon says he plans to introduce new legislation this year that will include the cap, plus restore funding for the Georgia Government Transparency and Campaign Finance Commission— formerly the state ethics commission—which keeps track of lobbyists’ disclosures. The commission’s budget has been cut by 40 percent, it only has 12 auditors to oversee 4,000 elected officials, and the website where people can look up campaign and lobbyist spending reports is often down. McKoon’s bill would also allow the state attorney general to empanel special grand juries to investigate corruption, among other things.

“Until we prove ourselves worthy of the voters’ trust, it’s going to be impossible for us to grapple with the big issues facing our state,” he says.

What are those big issues? They’re the same ones lawmakers have been grappling with for years: inadequate transportation infrastructure, education, health care and resources to deal with the problems. Add to that a national debate over mental health and gun control in the wake of the Sandy Hook shootings, along with a new Republican supermajority that could be tempted to overreach on hot-button issues like abortion.

Georgia Right to Life, for example, plans to push a “personhood amendment” that would declare fertilized eggs to be humans with rights, potentially banning abortion and stemcell research that’s lucrative both financially and medically.

Don Weigel, political director for the Athens-based progressive group Better Georgia, says he’s on guard. “We may all be shocked at how far they’ll push the needle this year,” Weigel says. “There’s really very little stopping them.”

More Budget Cuts The one thing the legislature is required to do every year is approve a budget to fund roads, schools, prisons and social services. Since the recession hit in 2007, state spending (not counting federal contributions) dropped from $22 billion to $16 billion before rising back to $19 billion this year. While the economy is slowly recovering—and tax collections along with it—Gov. Nathan Deal is still proposing 3 percent cuts in

all areas except K-12 education, and maybe even steeper ones in Medicaid, the health insurance program for the poor. “I must tell you, it’s a rather daunting budget this year,” Deal warned lawmakers last month. “We have some real challenges.”

Not that conservatives are lamenting the recession’s impact on government. Per-capita state spending has declined 17 percent since 2000, and the state employs 6,673 fewer people than it did 12 years ago, Gov. Nathan Deal bragged during a speech at the University of Georgia in December. “So, we are indeed doing more with less, and I think that’s the mantra people want us to follow,” he said.

Deal said he’ll propose a few minor initiatives this year, such as another $50 million to deepen the Port of Savannah, where Caterpillar plans to ship out the tractors and excavators it will manufacture in Athens. Savannah’s port—the fourthlargest and fastest-growing in the nation—is particularly important, as improvements to the Panama Canal in 2014 will allow ships to pass through that are too large to navigate the Savannah River.

“It’s critically important that we don’t let off the gas pedal,” port director Curtis Foltz told lawmakers at UGA’s Biennial Institute for new legislators in December. “We’ve got to get this done as quickly as we can or all the advantages of our ports will go by the wayside.”

Otherwise, little to no new spending is planned. As for raising taxes, forget about it. “All the economists who advise us tell us the worst thing we could do in a recession is raise taxes,” Cowsert says. And in a state that resoundingly rejected a sales tax for transportation last year, anyone who tried would be thrown out of office, he says.

But finding new revenue is exactly what Georgia needs to do if it wants to remain competitive globally, not just with Alabama, according to Alan Essig, executive director of the nonpartisan but left-leaning Georgia Budget and Policy Institute. “We have a revenue problem, not a spending problem, in this state,” he says.

Even keeping the budget from shrinking will be a challenge.

The legislature will have to decide whether to renew a 1.5 percent tax on hospitals that’s used to draw down $500 million federal contribution to Medicaid. The tax barely passed in 2010 and led to a revolt in the Senate, when Cowsert and others stripped Lt. Gov. Casey Cagle of much of his power. (He has since won it back, and Cowsert lost his position in the Senate

and get the state to approve new charter schools—a measure the majority of Clarke County voters opposed. Republican legislators will try to go even further this year, proposing bills to double the $50 million in tax credits parents can take to send their kids to private schools and a “parent trigger” to force school-board votes on charter schools when they present a petition. Local legislators were critical of the tax credit during a recent Federation of Neighborhoods forum. “I have heard of some abuse, and that troubles me,” Cowsert said.

The budget is likely to include small amounts for school buses, special education and nurses, according to Sen. Fran Millar (R-Atlanta), chairman of the Education and Youth Committee. House Education Committee Chairman Brooks Coleman (R-Duluth) is working on a proposal to free highperforming schools from state regulations. And by 2015, districts will have to choose whether to keep their current formula funding or switch to an alternate method with fewer strings and lower state standards. “I heard from local parents and school districts, if this charter amendment is so good, give us the same flexibility,” he says.

On the higher ed front, Deal says he wants to spend $18 million in lottery revenue to raise HOPE scholarships 3 percent this fall, but more tuition and fee hikes are likely to hit college students, and about 140 jobs are on the chopping block at UGA due to budget cuts. University system Chancellor Hank Huckaby said at the Biennial that he’s not going to “whine” about cuts.

“Are we happy about the budget cuts we’ve taken the past four to five years?” Huckaby said. “No, we’re not happy about that… Whatever amount of money you give us, we’re going to do our darndest to spend it wisely.”

Bond packages that in the past have funded construction of new buildings at UGA will be smaller this year, Huckaby said.

“We’re not doing an optimal job using the facilities we have,” he said. “Everybody can’t take a class between nine and two o’clock. We can’t afford for our classrooms and laboratories to be basically vacant on Fridays and certainly on Sundays.”

Sandy Hook’s Impact

Georgia House of Representatives

The recent mass shooting in Newtown, CT, has put gun control front and center in Georgia and nationwide. Sen. Vincent Fort (D-Atlanta) has announced plans for a ban on assault rifles, although it’s highly unlikely to go anywhere in a legislature dominated by Republicans and gun groups like GeorgiaCarry.org, which is to the right of the NRA. In the House, freshman Rep. Charles Gregory (R-Kennesaw) pre-filed legislation to let people with concealed-weapon permits carry guns anywhere, including churches and college campuses. Rep. Paul Battles (R-Cartersville) wants to let school districts arm administrators.

Frye, Athens’ lone Democratic representative, is also the only one who opposes expanding gun rights, questioning why it’s harder to buy allergy medication than a gun or ammunition. The four House Speaker David Ralston (R-Blue Ridge) watches as Gov. Nathan Deal delivers his State of the State Republicans who represent address last year.

Athens say they support the Second Amendment, but they haven’t taken clear stances on GOP leadership.) If the tax isn’t continued, Essig warns that specific legislation. “I think there needs to be an awful lot of many low-income people will be cut from Medicaid rolls, and discussion and analysis before we take action,” Ginn says. hospitals that provide a lot of indigent care will be in danger Williams (R-Watkinsville) doesn’t think gun control will of going under. help, pointing to violence in media. He recalls bringing guns to middle school for a science project. “If I did that today, it wouldn’t be state news, it’d be national news,” he says.

All five members of the Athens delegation agree that menAlthough Republicans say they’ve shielded K-12 education tal health needs to be addressed. Ginn notes that the Los from the worst of the recent budget cuts and Deal plans to Angeles County and Cook County, IL jails are the two largest fully restore the 20 days of pre-K he cut in 2011, even without mental health care providers in the country; often, treatment reductions, the state is still far short of paying for its obligaisn’t available until someone commits a crime. tions. Essig expects the state education budget to fall $1 In Georgia, it’s no different. We “quit taking care of people billion short of what it should be under the funding formula with mental health issues,” Frye says. “We’re under federal called Quality Basic Education, or QBE. “You need to raise revmandate to have these programs.” A court order to improve enue in some way,” he says. “Obviously, our current politicians mental health care, though, took the legislature out of the aren’t willing to do that. We aren’t making the kinds of investballgame, Cowsert says. Still, “I think it’s readily apparent the ments we need to create economic growth.” system is not working now,” he says.

Voters approved a constitutional amendment last year that will make it easier for parents to bypass local school districts Blake Aued news@flagpole.com

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kiddie dope NEWS FROM THE JUICE BOX SET

What would happen if you and your co-workers formed a band and were given a chance to perform in front of a sold-out crowd at the world-famous 40 Watt Club in downtown Athens, GA?

at Clarke Central High School. The key is to find something your child enjoys and to keep the act from being a chore.

“Encouraging kids to volunteer is a great way to start laying the building blocks of compassion, understanding and empathy,” says Amy Schumann Lasseter, a licensed therapist and owner of Holistic Therapies and Consulting in Athens. “Keep in mind, volunteering can be a pretty big concept for children to understand, so it’s better to start when their ability to conceptualize the idea won’t lead to complete meltdowns or hurt feelings. While all children develop at different paces, you can usually begin the process at age 4 or 5.”

Also, think about your child’s interests.

Do they like animals? Call up a local animal rescue group and see where a volunteer who’s your child’s age could fit in. Have they outgrown some of their books? Talk to the pediatKristen Morales

a benefit for Nuçi’s Space

My daughter had a horrible realization last month: Not all kids get presents during the holidays.

I’m not talking about Christmas vs.

Hanukkah. She understands not everyone celebrates Christmas. But while shopping for some family gifts, I asked her about possible presents for another little girl on a separate list I had. The resulting conversation touched on kindergarten levels of economics, social inequality and the spirit of giving, but here’s the bottom line: Just because the holidays are (finally) behind us doesn’t mean we can take a break from teaching our kids about doing unto others.

True, the kindness of Santa Claus is an easy way to show kids the spirit of Christmas, but here’s a better idea: On Monday, Jan. 21, join HandsOn Northeast Georgia for the Martin Luther King, Jr. Day of Service. If you

REGISTER ONLINE by noon on January 18th and receive free rehearsal time at Nuçi’s Space

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Kids from the North Bluff neighborhood help pick up litter along the street during last year’s Martin Luther King Jr. Day of Service. haven’t heard of it, it’s a day for lots of organizations to put together service projects, like pulling up weeds, cleaning up roads, painting or cleaning up nonprofit spaces. In all, there’s more than two dozen places to volunteer on what’s most likely a day off for much of the workforce, and if you have kids, it also means they’ll be off of school. So, why not teach them a lesson in giving back?

A few words from the legal department: Use your common sense and check with the participating nonprofit before signing up.

Parents must fill out a separate release form, available on the HandsOn Northeast Georgia website, where you can also see all the volunteer opportunities (handsonnortheastgeorgia. com).

The listings are a veritable goldmine of places for kids to help out. One of my 5-yearold’s favorite things to do is pick up litter around the neighborhood—because, you know, that trigger-picker-upper is pretty cool)—but younger kids can also help with gardens at several schools, clean up at Gospel Pilgrim Cemetery and the Interfaith Hospitality Network or help cheer on runners at the Dream to Be Able 5K run. Older kids can help clean up at BikeAthens (10 and up), dig holes for fences or paint bathrooms for a special project

rics area at one of the local hospitals to see if they can use donated books, or check for the titles on the Books for Keeps website to see if they can fill the wishes of another Clarke County child (booksforkeeps.blogspot.com).

While it’s great to pitch in during a larger community effort like the MLK Day of Service, you can jump in and volunteer with your kids at any time. Keep Athens-Clarke County Beautiful, for example, hosts cleanups throughout the year and also works with classes on garden projects and littler pick-ups (www.keepathensbeautiful.org). In fact, for Global Youth Service Day in April, KACCB puts together lots of kid-specific events throughout the county.

As parents, we can claim a little bit of the benefits of volunteering with our kids, as well.

We’re providing a positive role model for them, and when our kids take part in something like a litter pick-up, they’ll feel more responsible for the world around them as well. Well, that, and they’ll also be able to spot a discarded cigarette butt from about 50 yards away. But that’s OK—just give them one of those fun litter-grabber tools and they’ll have it cleaned up in no time.

Kristen Morales

grub notes 2012 Wrap-Up The year in review is always a chance to try to get the big picture of what went on in Athens food over the course of the past 12 months, but it can be difficult. In some ways, 2012 contained fewer highlights than many previous years, but there were still some restaurants that deserved more accolades than others.

The Branded Butcher, for example, which replaced Flight next to the Georgia Theatre on Lumpkin Street downtown, was far and away the most ambitious restaurant to open in Athens last year, offering up a varied array of small plates based on charcuterie, fine oysters, a smart and well-priced list of wine and cocktails and, above all, a playful sensibility that never undermines its professionalism.

Pulaski Heights BBQ, which opened toward the end of the year and has yet to get a proper review in this column, is less upscale in its goals, but Chuck Ramsey (ex-Five & Ten) knows exactly what he’s doing with a smoker and then some. Tucked away in the Leathers Building, down Pulaski Street right next to the railroad tracks, he’s elevating BBQ in all aspects.

The Savory Spoon, in Jefferson, with new owners who believe in locally sourced ingredients and clearly have a great love for vegetables, is worth a little trip out of town.

Farm 255 obtained a new chef, in Whitney Otawka, but not a new attitude, maintaining the same commitment to the

of Lake Lanier) opening a spot by Domino’s, and Runt’s BBQ opening and then closing. Broad, too, saw a lot of change, with Broad Street Coffee (a vegan restaurant offering all three meals plus coffee and snacks) opening in the former Dogg Pound, Quickly (an odd Taiwanese chain focused mostly on bubble tea and burgers) opening with no fanfare near downtown, LongHorn Steakhouse relocating from Beechwood to the spot of the old farmers’ market and, of course, Steak ‘n Shake fouling up everyone’s traffic.

Christina Cotter

The Fresh Market gave Beechwood a grocery store once again, for those who can’t handle the Kroger over in Alps, and Stripling’s General Store camped out on 78, catering to tailgaters. Maba Grill closed downtown but, thankfully, was replaced shortly thereafter with Yummy Pho, serving an even larger menu of Vietnamese food, and Athens Bagel Co. managed to make it work as a bakery and will soon have Always Baked cookies made onsite. Tlaloc El Mexicano opened a second location in Watkinsville, with a friendlier atmosphere but no less delicious food, and Donderos’ Kitchen took over the concession at the Botanical Garden. Streets food cart, long present in downtown but not entirely legal, managed to go legit and now can be found regularly outside the Max. Las Conchitas Caliente, serving Peruvian on Prince for years, was replaced by Rustica, doing the same, and, somewhat similarly, the Chick-fil-A in the mall is now a one-off called Chicken Burgers N Things. The Camp offered both honey-baked hams and lighter country cooking in Homewood Hills and, interestingly, Sabine’s Coffee Haus, promising German grub, opened in Lexington near the end of the year.

In addition to those already noted, we said goodbye to Chango’s, Sisters Creole Market, Yoguri, JR’s Baitshack, From Scratch Cafe in Winterville (which also opened), Peaches Fine Foods, The Local Jam, Gymnopédie, The Beer Growler, Kabana, Shane’s Rib Shack on the Eastside, Graze and the westside La Fiesta (now the location of La Cabana de Don Juan).

Five Bar, an Alabama-based small chain, just opened in the Cotton Exchange Building on Hull, in the former Casa Mia space, and Tin Drum Asia Cafe in Beechwood, Urban Flats in the Washington Street deck and Herschel’s Famous 34 Pub & Grill on Washington should be close behind.

A Dunkin’ Donuts (and a second Jimmy John’s) just opened up on the Eastside, paired with a Your Pie, and Mitchell Bridge’s former Iron Grill will be Los Coyotes before long. Sloan’s Ice Cream and Famous Dave’s BBQ, two more franchises, are looking to arrive in Athens, and Golden Chick will open in Watkinsville. The coming year will bring moves for Donderos’ and for Five & Ten, although neither very far, and the opening of Marker 7 Coastal Grille in Five Points, which should be open in March, as well as Grindhouse Killer Burgers on Lumpkin, The World Famous (mostly music but also chicken and waffles) in the former Wilson’s downtown and Creature Comforts, a brewpub in what was Snow Tire, around the corner. Two longtime projects: Ideal Bagel and La Puerta del Sol have me crossing my fingers they’ll come to fruition, and let’s hope Dexter Weaver’s alarm some months ago has staved off closure of Weaver D’s. One 2012 event that attracted an astonishing number of people downtown and I hope will be repeated in 2013 was the Athens Food Cart Fest, which packed the streets at the end of last March and showed that, trend or not, people are interested in mobile eateries. l

Five Bar components of its dishes and being, in particular, an excellent place for bar snacks.

And, finally, Trappeze, on Washington Street in downtown Athens, turned over its kitchen to some new blood and dramatically improved its menu. The place may be quiet at lunch, but you’d be a fool to pass up its affordable and well-executed offerings at that time of day.

As ever, chains continued to flock to the area, with Steak ‘n Shake, Chipotle, Firehouse Subs and Hubee D’s all serving as examples of what a franchised business can do right. The Washington Street deck downtown added Fuzzy’s Taco Shop and Momma Goldberg’s Deli, not exactly broadening the area’s options, and Dirty Birds, a wing shop out of California, moved in at the other end of downtown. Copper Creek Brewing Company added Sunday hours. Dickey’s Barbecue Pit added another location, in the former Allen’s on Hawthorne, and some local folks (Siri Thai and Taqueria La Parrilla) added locations on the Eastside. Speaking of that, one of the stories that popped up all year was the supposed abandonment of “downtown,” which often came to include Baxter, for the Eastside, but the relocation of Stuffed Burger did not a trend make.

Baxter saw its usual comings and goings, with The Sultan reopening (hooray!) in Stuffed Burger’s vacated spot, Gnat’s Landing making way for Chonell’s, Skogie’s (a fish place out

Finally, as usual, here’s my wishlist for the year ahead: more than one Korean restaurant (the population is here to support it), someone who can make a go of it with a really excellent upscale breakfast on weekdays (Heirloom tried but scaled back to weekends), something good in the Local Jam and Five & Ten spots and ramen-ya (cheap,filling and tasty).

Hillary Brown food@flagpole.com

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11

movie dope Some releases may not be showing locally this week.

• indicates new review ALEX CROSS (PG-13) I’ve never read one of James Patterson’s bestsellers featuring police detective/forensic psychologist Alex Cross, but I did see Kiss the Girls, which I recall enjoying.

Alex Cross is no Kiss the Girls. In Detective Dr. Cross’ third cinematic case, Tyler Perry takes over for the much more capable Morgan Freeman, who portrayed Cross in Kiss the Girls and Along Came a Spider. This movie would have been more entertaining had Perry also donned his fat suits and pursued Picasso as Cross, Madea and her brother, Joe; Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Alex Cross is a bad movie idea I could get behind.

ANNA KARENINA (R) Joe Wright reunites with his Pride & Prejudice and Atonement star Keira Knightley for what could be another Oscar heavyweight.

Acclaimed playwright Tom Stoppard (Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead) adapted Leo Tolstoy’s acclaimed novel about the titular aristocrat (Knightley) who embarks on an affair with young Count Vronsky (Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Kick-Ass). The strong cast includes Jude Law as Anna’s husband, the excellent Kelly Macdonald (“Boardwalk Empire,” Brave), Matthew Macfadyen (Wright’s Mr. Darcy), Olivia Williams and Emily Watson. (Ciné) ARGO (R) Ben Affleck’s career revival continues with what might be his best directing effort yet; the HFPA thought so, awarding him a Golden Globe Best Director. Revealing the once classified story of how the CIA rescued six American hostages in the midst of the Iranian Revolution, Argo is both an intriguing modern history lesson and a compelling, old-fashioned Hollywood thriller. (Ciné) CLOUD ATLAS (R) For the ambitious Cloud Atlas, the Wachowski siblings and Tom Tykwer (Run Lola Run) have masterfully adapted David Mitchell’s award winning novel, intermingling six disparate stories, spanning from 1849 to 106 Winters After the Fall. Each anecdote stars Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Jim Broadbent, Hugo Weaving, Jim Sturgess, Susan Sarandon, Hugh Grant and more in varying layers of makeup.

DAMSELS IN DISTRESS (PG-13) Whit Stillman has not been heard from since 1998’s The Last Days of Disco, but his comeback pic supposedly shows the filmmaker picking up where he left off. Three coeds (Greta Gerwig, Megalyn Echikunwoke and Carrie MacLemore) attempt to help their peers

at Seven Oaks College get out of their funk via good hygiene and musical numbers. Then some boys (including Adam Brody) get in the way. I enjoyed Stillman’s trio of ‘90s efforts, the Oscarnominated Metropolitan, Barcelona and the aforementioned Last Days of Disco.

(UGA Tate Theatre) DJANGO UNCHAINED (R) Not many auteurs can take an academic cinematic exercise and turn it into one of the year’s most entertaining spectacles like Quentin Tarantino can. Slave Django (Jamie Foxx) is freed by dentistturned-bounty hunter Dr. King Schultz (Golden Globe nominee Christoph Waltz, the single greatest gift QT has given American movie audiences).

Together the duo hunts bad guys and seeks Django’s wife, Broomhilda (Kerry Washington), who belongs to plantation owner Calvin Candie (Golden Globe nominee Leonardo DiCaprio).

For a critically acclaimed award nominee, Django Unchained is an ultraviolent blast.

FOUND FOOTAGE FESTIVAL (NR) The Found Footage Festival returns to Athens. This collection of random, hilarious home movies, training videos, ill-advised PR stunts, and more— discovered by curators Joe Pickett and Nick Prueher (The Onion and “The Late Show with David Letterman”) at garage sales, thrift stores, warehouses, and dumpsters nationwide—will make your week, guaranteed. See Calendar Pick on p. 20. (Ciné) • GANGSTER SQUAD (R) For anybody lamenting about a lack of Dick Tracy meets The Untouchables period mob flicks, Gangster Squad will fill that rather peculiar hole in your life. Former boxer turned mob kingpin Mickey Cohen (an almost out-of-control Sean Penn, who’s under so much makeup he resembles a Dick Tracy villain) is trying to take control of Los Angeles.

Police Chief Parker (Nick Nolte) enlists several officers, led by Sergeant John O’Mara (Josh Brolin), to fight fire with criminal fire.

THE GUILT TRIP (PG-13) Certainly not as laughless as its trailers suggest, The Guilt Trip mines some genuine comic chemistry between its leads, Seth Rogen and Barbra Streisand, as Andy Brewster, a son traveling across the country with his mother, Joyce.

The many car-bound scenes featuring just the two stars generate the movie’s biggest laughs. Unfortunately, Andy and Joyce make some excruciating pit

C I N E M AS Movie showtimes are not available by our deadline. Please check cinema websites for accurate information.

CINÉ • 234 W. Hancock Ave. • 706-353-3343 • www.athenscine.com GEORGIA MUSEUM OF ART • (UGA Campus) 90 Carlton St. • 706-542-GMOA • www.uga.edu/gamuseum/calendar/films.html TATE STUDENT CENTER • (UGA Campus) 45 Baxter St. • 706-542-6396 • www.union.uga.edu/movies Beechwood Stadium cinemas 11 • 196 Alps Rd. • 706-546-1011 • www.georgiatheatrecompany.com Carmike 12 • 1570 Lexington Rd. • 706-354-0016 • www.carmike.com Georgia Square value cinemas 5 • 3710 Atlanta Hwy. • 706-548-3426 • www.georgiatheatrecompany.com

12

FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ JANUARY 16, 2013

stops that fall back on the sitcomishly simple gags like a Texan eating contest (which, for what little it’s worth, does involve Barbra as opposed to Rogen).

• A HAUNTED HOUSE (R) Marlon Wayans can be a pretty funny guy, and we already know from Requiem for a Dream that he can act when he’s trying. Found footage spoof, A Haunted House, occasionally works, mostly because Wayans acts like a normal, albeit egregiously silly guy. Wayans’ Malcolm invites his girlfriend, Kisha (Essence Atkins), to move in with him.

Unfortunately, Kisha brings a ghostly presence with her, eventually becoming possessed. Malcolm tries everything to get his (sex) life back on track.

HERE COMES THE BOOM (PG-13) Adam Sandler’s made plenty of pictures worse than this Kevin James vehicle about outlandish ways to save education. James’ Scott Voss is a high school biology teacher who turns to MMA to fund the extracurriculars at his struggling school. An appealing supporting cast includes Salma Hayek, Henry Winkler, Greg Germann and real

a better television series than movie franchise, but star Tom Cruise and writer-director Christopher McQuarrie (an Academy Award winner for his Usual Suspects script) pull off the big screen feat as entertainingly as possible. In this adaptation of Child’s One Shot, Cruise’s Reacher investigates the murder of five random people, allegedly committed by a sniper he knew in Iraq.

THE LAST STAND (R) Ah-nuld always said he’d be back. He makes good on that promise in his first starring role since 2003’s Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. Schwarzenegger stars as a border town sheriff who is the last thing standing between a fugitive drug lord and Mexico. I’d have little interest in the movie, were it not for the former governor’s presence (I grew up idolizing Arnold). I Saw the Devil director Kim Jee-woon’s presence behind the camera is more than simply an intriguing bonus. With Johnny Knoxville, Forest Whitaker, Peter Stormare, Harry Dean Stanton and Luis Guzman.

Olan Mills fail life MMA fighter Bas Rutten (after an appearance in Paul Blart: Mall Cop and voice work in Zookeeper, he’s becoming a James regular) to assist the extremely likable James in an odd, family-friendly mash-up of educational messages and inspirational sports, where the sports are extremely vicious.

It doesn’t NOT work, but more refined audiences will cringe at the movie’s genial attitude toward violence.

THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY (PG-13) While this first film lacks the epicness of Jackson’s previous series entries, it makes up for it with its comically entertaining dwarves and rousing action sequences.

Bilbo’s first meeting with Gollum is so well-crafted and performed by WETA’s effects wizards and motion-capture genius Andy Serkis, who is still being shunned by awards groups lacking vision. This return journey to Middleearth is an adventure worth taking over the holiday season.

HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA (PG) Unlike the superior ParaNorman, which was a genuinely, safely frightening family horror flick, Hotel Transylvania is an amusing, run-of-the-mill animated family movie where the main characters are harmless monsters. (The lesson that monsters aren’t dangerous is a terrible, hazardous message to teach children.)

JACK REACHER (PG-13) The episodic exploits of Lee Child’s popular literary character, a former Military Policeman turned drifter, would make

LES MISERABLES (PG-13) Parolee Jean Valjean (Golden Globe winner Hugh Jackman) attempts to make up for his past crimes by raising Cosette (Amanda Seyfried), the daughter of a fallen young woman named Fantine (Golden Globe winner Anne Hathaway).

Constantly on Valjean’s heels is Inspector Javert (Russell Crowe), who will not give up the chase for this parole violator. Gigantically staged and competently sung, Les Mis will sway many an awards panel.

LIFE OF PI (PG) The imaginatively conceived and beautifully told work of art created by Brokeback Mountain Oscar winner Ang Lee, who certainly deserves the noms he received for Best Picture and Best Director, reminded me of the many, small joys that add up to make the life of Pi. Do not let the underwhelming previews deprive you of one of the year’s most moving, most artistic films of the year. (Ciné) LINCOLN (PG-13) Historical biopics do not come much more perfect than Steven Spielberg’s take on our 16th president’s struggle to end slavery by way of the 13th Amendment. He populates Spielberg’s 19th-century hallways with living, breathing figures of American history like William Seward (David Strathairn), Thaddeus Stevens (Oscar nominee Tommy Lee Jones), Alexander Stephens (Jackie Earle Haley), Edwin Stanton (Bruce McGill) and Ulysses S. Grant (Jared Harris), but the film will be remembered and lauded as another platform from which

Daniel Day-Lewis can solidify his claim to the title of greatest living actor.

LUV (R) This Sundance Film Festival Grand Jury Prize (and Humanitas Prize) nominee stars rapper Common as Uncle Vincent, the hero to young protagonist Woody (Michael Rainey Jr.). The recently paroled Vincent tries to straighten out his life, while Woody tries to decide whether or not to follow in his uncle’s footsteps. Writer-director Sheldon Candis has little to his filmography besides a trio of shorts and the feature Young Cesar. With Dennis Haysbert, Danny Glover and Charles S. Dutton. l MAMA (PG-13) I’m more than a little excited for the latest horror project being shepherded by Guillermo del Toro, even if Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark underwhelmed. Two young girls are found alone in the woods, seemingly having raised themselves. When their uncle, Lucas (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau aka the Kingslayer from HBO’s “Game of Thrones”), and his wife, Annabel (Jessica Chastain), take the girls in, the couple begin to believe something else might have come with them.

Director Andrés Muschietti adapts his own short.

MONSTERS, INC. (G) Disney is re-releasing Monsters, Inc. in 3D to remind audiences of Sulley and Mike before June’s prequel, Monsters University. The cute story involves top scarer Sulley (v. John Goodman) and his pal, Mike (v. Billy Crystal), whose lives are turned upside down when a child ventures into Monstropolis. The film lost the Best Animated Feature Oscar to Shrek, while Randy Newman went home with an Academy Award for his song, “If I Didn’t Have You.” NAUSICAA OF THE VALLEY OF THE WIND (PG) 1984. The Studio Ghibli Film Series returns, bringing four fresh classics from legendary Japanese filmmaker Hayao Miyazaki to the big screen (on fresh 35mm prints!) through Feb. 10. In Miyazaki’s second feature, a young princess struggles to prevent the destruction of her planet.

Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind won the Fantafestival award for Best Short Film, the Kinema Junpo Readers’ Choice Award for Best Film and the Ofuji Noburo Award from the Mainichi Film Concours. (Ciné) PARENTAL GUIDANCE (PG) Billy Crystal and Bette Midler star as oldschool grandparents forced to care for their decidedly 21st-century grandchildren. Director Andy Fickman’s filmography is more weak (The Game Plan, Race to Witch Mountain) than bad (You Again); I did enjoy his Amanda Bynes cross-dressing comedy, She’s the Man. Splash Academy Award nominees Lowell Ganz and Babaloo Mandel are credited with the rewrite. With Marisa Tomei, Bailee Madison (the young Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark star is a boon) and Tom Everett Scott.

THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER (PG-13) Stephen Chbosky (he wrote the screenplay for Chris Columbus’ big screen Rent) directs the adaptation of his own YA novel about a freshman (Logan Lerman, Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief) being mentored by two seniors (Emma Watson and Ezra Miller). Most of the movie’s prerelease buzz has focused on Watson’s first major post-Harry Potter role, but it’s Miller, so good in We Need

to Talk About Kevin, that I want to see in action. With Nina Dobrev of “The Vampire Diaries.” (UGA Tate Theatre) PHANTOM OF THE MALL: ERIC’S REVENGE (R) 1989. Few images from my days of skulking the video store aisles, studying VHS covers of horror movie classics like The Dead Pit and Frankenhooker, stands out like the melted face framed by a mall backdrop that signified Phantom of the Mall: Eric’s Revenge. (Ciné) PROMISED LAND (R) Gus Van Sant’s new film, written by “Office” star John Krasinski and Matt Damon (from a story by Dave Eggers), stars Damon as a salesman tasked with purchasing property for a natural gas company.

I’m assuming this is a fictionalized version of the real life “fracking” drama recounted in Josh Fox’s Oscarnominated doc, GasLand.

RISE OF THE GUARDIANS (PG) Author William Joyce’s very cool idea is brought to the big screen by firsttime animated feature director Peter Ramsey and fantastical executive producer Guillermo del Toro. Holiday legends North (aka Santa, who is voiced very Russianly by Alec Baldwin), Bunny (v. Hugh Jackman) and Tooth (v. Isla Fisher) are joined by Jack Frost (v. Chris Pine) as they do battle with the evil Pitch (v. Jude Law). Imagining massive audiences of children falling hard for this potential animated franchise is not hard.

SKYFALL (PG-13) The middle third of Daniel Craig’s third outing as James Bond is the best 007 adventure in 20, maybe even 30, years. Too bad director Sam Mendes (American Beauty) and his team of scripters won’t just let Bond be Bond for the entirety of the film.

Skyfall almost completely unravels before the opening credits. In three films, Bond has gone from a newly licensed Double 0 to a dinosaur; when can Bond just be Bond again?

TAKEN 2 (PG-13) Most movies fail to encapsulate the description “unnecessary sequel” as perfectly as Taken 2. As a consequence of the violent methods he employed to retrieve his kidnapped daughter, Kim (Maggie Grace), in the first movie, retired CIA operative Bryan Mills (Liam Neeson), must face off against the Albanian dad (played by go-to Eastern European baddie Rade Serbedzija) of one of the sex traffickers he killed during his rescue mission.

TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D (R) Leatherface returns! A young woman (the gorgeous Alexandra Daddario, Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief) heads to Texas for her inheritance and runs into the dangerous Sawyer clan and its chainsaw-wielding, skin-wearing manchild. Unfortunately, the latest Texas Chainsaw, sans the titular Massacre, is directed by the same guy who did the dreadful Takers.

THIS IS 40 (R) Sure, This Is 40 will provide viewers with more laughs than any of its contemporary comedic peers, but it should; it’s at least one sitcom episode longer than a typical comedy.

Writer-director Judd Apatow, of whom I am a big fan, could definitely benefit from some stronger criticisms of overstuffed, raunch-filled dramedies.

• ZERO DARK THIRTY (R) Academy Award winner Kathryn Bigelow and her Oscar winning collaborator, screenwriter Mark Boal (he did receive his second nomination this year) follow up The Hurt Locker with this controversial, excellently crafted military thriller documenting the decade-long search for Osama bin Laden. Zero Dark Thirty is an intriguing, darkly patriotic counterpoint to the year’s other major American historical drama about a president willing to push the office’s constitutional limits for the sake of protecting the nation.

Drew Wheeler

movie pick

STOP IN FOR A WINTER DRINK!

Why Do They Call It Love?

ANNA KARENINA (R) A 19th-century Russian noblewoman and wife of a high-ranking government official, Anna Karenina (Keira Knightley), plunges into a passionate and reckless affair with a foppish young military officer, Count Vronsky (Aaron Taylor-Johnson), and pays the consequences. Her marriage to Alexi Karenin (Jude Law) frays, and her reputation dims in the eyes of her gossiping social peers.

There have been numerous screen adaptations of Leo Tolstoy’s classic novel, but director Joe Wright and screenwriter Tom Stoppard’s take might be the most radically stylish of them all. Wright and his production team actualize Moscow and Saint Petersburg high society as a hermetic doll’s world, surrounding the actors with opulent stageKeira Knightley bound sets and miniatures.

The artful conceit is striking, particularly in the long-take transition sequences. Baz Luhrmann’s frenetic 2001 musical melodrama Moulin Rouge! feels like an influence here, but Wright is far more nuanced in the way that he employs the razzle-dazzle than Luhrmann ever was. Although the majority of Anna Karenina is set on obvious stages, many of the scenes dealing with the young idealist Konstantin Levin (Domhnall Gleeson) are shot outside where naturalism is allowed to take

root again, abandoning the ravishing plastic of urban life behind. The aesthetic contrast is logical (Levin loathes the cities), and it makes for some visually sumptuous moments.

This brazen approach to the material, unfortunately, does something else: It weakens the overall emotional weight of the story.

Wright’s intentional distancing effects work too well. This is Knightley’s third collaboration with the director, and unlike the previous roles, she never manages to work her way out of the layers of elegant theatrics to get to something real here. Her dusky almond eyes stare longingly back at us, but there’s barely a glimmer of life in them. Anna may be the prototypical bored wife, but Knightley fails to exude real passion even when she’s lost in the throes of her affair. The miscast Taylor-Johnson fares even worse, coming off like a parody of a 19thcentury dreamboat. The real acting standouts are Law, Gleeson and Martin Macfadyen as Anna’s brother. Even through all of the heavy extravagance, they each manage to reinstate some humanity into the proceedings. It’s during those scenes that you forget wanting that train to roll in ahead of schedule.

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Hey, people. Welcome to this week’s blustery update. Half the bluster is courtesy of me, and the rest is from Old Man Winter, who I’ve not actually turned into yet, despite rumors to the contrary. So, with that, let’s get going…

The Axe Effect: Mad Axes finally celebrated the release of its new album last week. The fashion-forward hip-hop crew formally recognized its album You Are the Real Monster at the Caledonia Lounge on a bill shared with Ritvals, National Anthem and Moths. Although the album was released digitally last month, the band has proper CDs now, which they describe as “vintage style.” Mad Axes has popped its cork with incredible panache via a new video for the song “New Wave.” Although the track originally appeared on the group’s first album, appropriately titled Debut Smash, there’s a remix of it on the new album, and the vintage cartoon clip is a true treat of reverse engineering. Dig it at youtube.com/ TheMadAxes. Or, head over to the brand new Mad Axes website at madaxes. com, where you can grab your free digital copy of the album, see the video and basically be all up on the techno tip with this shizz.

happening. Or, rather, exactly what I need to be happening.” Dig deep at facebook.com/ handsandhands.

Double Daredevil: Unabashed local jam duo Sweet Knievel will release its debut album, Collapsible, on Jan. 29. Formed way back in 2001 (!) by Efren’s Jonathan Brill and DubConscious’ Jerry Hendelberg, the pair has basically focused on playing whatever it wants, dipping deeply into the motley stew of its members’ shared interest in reggae, jazz and folk. The self-released nine-track debut was recorded in a single day back in February 2012, and released digitally in April. This “proper” release is really just the birth of a CD version. On record, the core pair is joined by drummer Jay Hoots and bassist Kris Dale, while Brill handles guitar and vocals and Hendelberg tickles the keys and sings, too.

This all has the flavor of something not taken terribly seriously, but also not treated so flip-

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Music News And Gossip

Two for Flinching: That never slowing train, Tunabunny, is recording a new album. Again. The peach fuzz is barely off the group’s latest album, Genius Fatigue (Flagpole’s fifth favorite album of 2012), and it’s already back at the drawing board. Which, really, is exactly what artists are supposed to do. I’ve never met a single painter who waits to create until Sweet Knievel all the press is in, so this general bucking of the album cycle pleases me very much. On Feb. 8, Tunabunny plays an enviable gig at Farm 255 with Philadelphia’s U.S. Girls. Sharing the bill this night is k (v) i d s and Bubbly Mommy Gun. If you want the lowdown on the touring bands, please check out reverbnation.com/ bluedivision and freemusicarchive.org/music/ US_Girls. Otherwise, keep up with Tunabunny via facebook.com/Tunabunny.

Pearl Factory: By the time you read this, the first two dates of Hand Sand Hands’ January residency at Flicker Theatre & Bar will have happened. But don’t sweat it, lil’ homie, because there’s still three dates left in this weekly “Weird Fest.” Hand Sand Hands is probably my favorite band this month—I’m hooked like Jazzercise on its weirdo noise, beat throbs and high-pitched everything else. See what I mean at soundcloud.com/ handsandhands. The upcoming dates for the HSH Flicker residency are Jan. 17 (with Brothers, John Fernandes, Kill Kill Buffalo and Future Ape Tapes), Jan. 24 (with Cult of Riggonia, Tom Television, Grant Evans and Motion Sickness of Time Travel) and Jan. 31 (with Island Dogs, I Come to Shanghai, Doug Main & The City Folk and C.S. Luxem.)

Hand Sand Hands has been around for more than a good minute, and it’s basically one of those projects I’ll listen to and say to myself, “Yes. This is exactly what needs to be

pantly that it devolves into joke territory. I’ll be generous and just say it’s totally not my bag but I can imagine someone gladly toting it. Stream the album at swtknvl.bandcamp. com, and sleep on the porch over at facebook. com/swtknvl.

Quite Literally for the Kids: The deadline to apply for one of the Winter 2013 Mini-Grants from AthFest Educates is this Friday, Jan. 18.

These grants, awarded twice a year, are small amounts of money (typically up to $1,000) specifically designed to support art and music programs in local schools. Basically, anything that directly impacts those programs is an acceptable use of the funds. AthFest Educates gives examples like “funding for instrument purchase or repair, lessons, field trips, assistance bringing musical or theatrical performances to your schools, art projects and scholarships,” but there may be some other specific need your program has, and you’re encouraged to apply. Who are you? That’s pretty flexible, too! The organization says “teachers, administrators, parents, students and nonprofit organizations” are all welcome to apply. Applications can be found at athfest. com/athfest-mini-grant-application, and more information on AthFest Educates can be found at athfest.com/education.

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issues or things that matter. Things that people can relate to in their own everyday lives.â&#x20AC;?

Cicada Rhythmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Kirslis-penned songs cast a wide net and tug at hidden heartstrings.

Deforestation never sounded so tragic (â&#x20AC;&#x153;Do Not Destroyâ&#x20AC;?); nor has the issue of whether or not to set a trap for an unwelcome animal intruder been approached with such existential weight (â&#x20AC;&#x153;Mouse Songâ&#x20AC;?).

In contrast, DeMarcusâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; tunes are more personal in nature. â&#x20AC;&#x153;A lot of my songs are immediately about different things,â&#x20AC;? she says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;but I think, mostly, I write about being OK with yourselfâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;trying to be OK with myself, and overcoming my personal struggles. Everyone can relate to that, I think.â&#x20AC;?

The juxtaposition of their two styles creates the tension that is at the core of Cicada Rhythm, that underlies the softly explosive style that lends the music its breadth. It is real, earth-worn music, where recognizable fragments of time-tested styles provide a support system for something slyly innovative.

Kirslis notes that some have described their sound as â&#x20AC;&#x153;Appalachian Jazz,â&#x20AC;? which is an apt, if simplistic, label.

A full-length albumâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;one the band hints will feature an expanded musical approachâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;is in the works, and has been for months; no date has yet been set for its release. In its constant quest for substance, Cicada Rhythm takes its time. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We wrote [a] song togetherâ&#x20AC;Ś called â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Looking Glass,â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;? Kirslis says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s kind of about societyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s perception of musicians nowadays, and how some people really donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t value it in any real-world sense.â&#x20AC;?

With his partner DeMarcus, Kirslis aims to recaptureâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and revealâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;that sense of worth. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I hope to continue writing songs that Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m happy with, and most of all, that people can relate to,â&#x20AC;? he says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;If I can make an impact that way, that will leave me satisfied.â&#x20AC;?

&

Satula Ave.

he thing that most impresses about Cicada Rhythmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sound is how big it is, even though itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not. Cloaked in sleepy

sweetnessâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;all ringing acoustic guitar and sliding upright bass, cooed vocals with snug, Welch/Rawlings-style harmoniesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the Atlanta-based duoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s music lands with an impact you didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t quite see coming.

Neither, actually, did they. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We never really considered playing together, since we came from very different backgrounds,â&#x20AC;? says guitarist David Kirslis.

The story of how Kirslis met bandmate (and eventual love interest) Andrea DeMarcus is an almost too perfect folk taleâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;train-hopping blues wanderer meets classically trained bassist in sleepy, sunny college town, and beautiful music flows forth.

But that last part didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t happen immediately. â&#x20AC;&#x153;She almost joined a metal band,â&#x20AC;? says Kirslis. Laughing, DeMarcus recalls, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I told them that I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t what they were looking for.â&#x20AC;?

Instead, after a months-long series of conversations about music, the pair decided to try writing a few songs together. The four brief tracks that comprise Cicada Rhythmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s demoâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; the only thing the band has released to this pointâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;do a fine job of showcasing Kirslis and DeMarcusâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; talent, though the band must be seen live to be fully appreciated.

Early training and a stint at Juilliard (which, she notes, â&#x20AC;&#x153;kicked my buttâ&#x20AC;?) gave DeMarcus an understanding of form, but also inspired her to rebel against it (â&#x20AC;&#x153;I decided I wanted to be a little more creativeâ&#x20AC;?); her playing is adept and adaptable and exhibits a rare purity. Kirslis, who cites Mississippi John Hurt and Lightninâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Hopkins as heroes, is an understated player and a skilled finger-picker.

Both are blessed with instantly classic singing voices that seem designed to be heard together.

Their chemistry is true. In conversation, they answer questions for one another and laugh convincingly at one anotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s jokes.

Onstage, they are locked in and loose, at once all business and all pleasure, in love with each other and the music and the room. Still, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s far from cloying. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We very strongly try to avoid the kind of She & Him love songs about the other,â&#x20AC;? says Kirslis. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We try to write about either personal

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the athens raw diet Phelan Lavelle Drinks Pizza Juice, Eats Pile and Goes Green for 2013 Tuesday, January 1 The Dawning of the Rawness. My dawn cracks at 2 p.m. today.

That’s like most musicians, right? Stroking axes and sucking on joints all night long.

Today is rich with meaning. It even has its own first-food-of-the-new-year meal, blackeyed peas and collard greens. It means $$$.

I want to eat it. Instead, I’ll find symbolism in what I can eat. I eat a clementine in bed.

What does that mean? Is it dirty? It is so Raw. Later, I open the crisper drawer in my fridge to find what turns out to be one of the softest apples I’ve eaten. Will I have an ironic year? I eat it anyway with raw walnuts, which my dog Poco really wants some of, and she’s so effing cute, but girl, you know how expensive raw walnuts are? I feed them to her anyway, because The New Me is very generous.

I drink tea that is not Raw-sanctioned, but I do what I want. After a lot of walking around my house rearranging things, I make some badass salad, in which shredded sweet potato is a highlight. Oh, and some chia seeds.

Wednesday, January 2 I wake up feeling good—slept like a lil’ baby. I drink some cold tea from the day before—it’s not gross. I eat an apple while I’m walking Poco, and I know it’s, like, uncouth to eat and walk at the same time, but it feels so efficient. Then, I go to work at Broad Street Coffee. I’m working with my buddy Al, who is also doing the cleanse, and who is always hungry.

I take home a kale salad from work, which takes me forever to eat, because I’m on this macrobiotic chewing spree where you chew your food for like a million years. I walk Poco while I’m still chewing, then I go to band practice. Al is still hungry, and so we fill up on JAMS. I come home and chew some more, and spend the rest of my clean-ass night on a potpourri of small home activities, the best of which is listening to my dope-ass reggae records and practicing C R E A T I V E S T R E T C H I N G. Thursday, January 3 The juice is loose. I wake up and make a pretty boss juice with celery, cabbage, ginger and spirulina. I go to work, where Al has already been showing off his garlicky juices. When it slows down, we take out our juices, lean against the counter and slowly sip them like a bunch of dorks.

Cleanse with friends. Later on, there’s a point when I feel cold and hungry, but then a Roy Orbison song comes on 88.1 and fills me like a hot biscuit. I think that’s a pretty big deal when you’re on the juice. Warm music, hot showers—and sleeping. Sleeping tastes so good.

For dinner, I make pizza juice: beets, kale, celery, broccoli and a grip of garlic. (If

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anyone wants to get a load of me after drinking pizza juice, send me an email.) I wrap it up with some stinky tea, a stinky candle, a transcendental black metal record and some twisting around to squeeze all the junk out of my lymphs.

Friday, January 4 Green juice for breakfast.

You know “GO GREEN” is copyrighted? So is “GOGO GREEN” and even “GO GO GO GREEN.” So, I’m gonna GOGO GOGO GREEN in 2013. My

four Gs: Eat Green, Make Green, Smoke Green, Wear Green. Red juice for dinner. I’m drinking so many beets, my pee is pink. I drink some tea containing caffeine (#oops) at band practice, which Al gives me a hard time for. I don’t even care.

So, if stretching can be yoga, then anything good you can do with your body and your mind is yoga. Like, riding your bike or your skateboard or running around can be yoga, and making music or making art or making out can be yoga, too, and then sometimes smoking weed is yoga. So, I’m yoga-zoned on the juice, and I’m feeling so good. I’m gonna go to the party. T.G.I.F.

A virtue of extreme hunger is that everything exhibits a certain vividness. I interpret the phrases of the birds in the street: either “I am one thing but I am many things” or “You can go home or you can get a room,” and I think that’s super deep of them either way. I can smell how stinky things are better, and sometimes, colors are different, like, glossy or puckering. Also, I’m thinking about hunger pangs—if you don’t concede that they’re happening because you’re not satiated, then they become an entirely different thing all together. Like, oh, that’s not my stomach growling, it’s just a baby alien rolling around in my tum. Red juice for dinner.

Saturday, January 5 I did not get much sleep, but I’m gonna make up for it by making a juice with a million pounds of kale. I drink some cold water that’s hanging around my room. It’s definitely older than I want to think about. It’s fine. Have you ever stomped

Sunday, January 6 MONODIET DAZE. We’re going next-level in our cleanse. It’s called Kitchari, which means “pile.” It’s ayurvedic, for real—mung beans and rice, designed to break fasts. I guess it looks like a pile. I have my first bite of it, and I am almost late for

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work, because I want to sit and feel the buzz.

It’s heavy. I really like mono in many things.

Monochromatic fashions—I wear all hot pink today and look like a big smoothie. I also listen to my records in mono. It’s like one big, fuzzy, hot hand reaching out at you.

I may as well tell you now: I drink some coffee. I’m pretty sure that’s illegal. It makes me feel like “somebody” who snorts Adderall. I pull out my pile at work, and it’s really wet and “looks like throw-up,” someone says. Al and I eat it cold with spoons. I like spoons. All I want to do is watch “The X-Files” tonight. Whose Netflix can I use?

Will I get spooked? Anything weird my dog hears at night I already assume to be aliens, anyway, so it’s fine. I get spooked listening to Butthole Surfers when I’m alone at night.

Alone and eating mung beans. I’m eating more pile tonight. I may have a thimbleful of wine, because it’s Sunday. Wine is kind of like a strong tea. It’s fine.

Monday, January 7 LAST DAY. I’ve been listening to Wipers’ Youth of America every morning while I stretch, and it’s so good. I wear all green today and look like a huge mung bean.

I drink epic liquids at work—I don’t feel like pulling out my pile. Sidenote: I recently realized that I don’t think I’ve farted yet in 2013.

Is that right? What’s going on?

Anyway, I feel pretty good. The grossed-out feeling I had post-holiday is gone, as is the drinkle (drinking wrinkle) I get during bouts of concentrated celebration. But S H A D E has a show tonight, so that means tons of coke, a case of Tanqueray and a gang of hot 18-yearolds. Maybe I’ll fart tomorrow.

I eat some pile after work, but I’m totally over it, and feed most of it to Poco, who loves pile. We have band practice before the show, where I tell Al that I’m “thinking about” eating a pear, but he vetos it. He is apparently going to keep eating pile for like the rest of his life, he loves it so much. I pound some Earl Grey instead.

The show is cute and at the Globe. I drink some pale ales and pretend-laugh and reallaugh at a bunch of goofy shit with my dear friends. I love pretend-laughing. I guess that’s the last thing I’ll impart to you here: 2013, PRETEND TO LAUGH. Oh, and 2013 GOGO GOGO GREEN. Yeahhh.

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your feet to warm up like they say they did in olden times? I think it works. I stomp around my kitchen and introduce a juice into the world: kale, apple, carrot, celery, ginger. It’s a good one. After work, I come home and walk Poco, and OMG my body is tired. Sometimes it’s all like OH I FEEL SO AMAZING, and even psychedelic, and then it’s like, oh, I forgot how to play guitar or use my phone, and I feel like laying down anywhere. It’s all good though; I just need the juice.

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Tuesday 15

Wednesday 16

ART: Athens Metal Arts Guild Meeting (Lyndon House) The guild’s first meeting will include a presentation on goals and an opportunity for attendees to share an original piece of work. Alan Bremer, president of the GA Goldsmiths Group, speaks. 4 p.m. FREE! athensmetalartsguild@gmail.com CLASSES: Athens Swing Night (Dancefx) The UGA Swing Dance Club presents a casual evening of social swing dancing. Advanced lesson at 7 p.m., and beginner lesson at 7:30 p.m. 7–10 p.m. $3–5. www. athensswingnight.com COMEDY: OpenTOAD Comedy Open Mic (Flicker Theatre & Bar) Voted by Flagpole’s readers as Athens’ “favorite comedy night” in 2011 and 2012, this comedy show allows locals to watch quality comedy or perform themselves. Email to perform. First and third Tuesday of every month! 9 p.m. FREE! (performers), $5. calebsynan@yahoo.com, www.flickertheatreandbar.com EVENTS: Classic City Throwdown (Manor) Flair bartending competition featuring bartenders from around the country competing for a chance to win prize money. 9 p.m. $5. www.manorathens.com GAMES: Trivia with a Twist (Johnny’s New York Style Pizza) Throw a lime in your Coors Light and compete! Tuesdays & Thursdays, 7:30-9:30 p.m. 706354-1515 GAMES: Pool Tournament (The Office Lounge) Double elimination round. 7:30 p.m. $5. www.facebook. com/officeathens GAMES: Locos Trivia (Locos Grill & Pub) All three Athens locations of Locos Grill and Pub (Westside, Eastside and Harris St.) feature trivia night every Tuesday. 8 p.m. FREE! www.locosgrill.com GAMES: Happy Hour Games (Little Kings Shuffle Club) Play Magic the Gathering or choose from the bar’s selection of board games. 4–9 p.m. FREE! www.facebook.com/ lkshuffleclub GAMES: Trivia (Fuzzy’s Taco Shop) Compete for prizes and giveaways.

Every Tuesday. 9–11 p.m. 706353-0305 LECTURES & LIT: Music Question and Answer Program (UGA Richard B. Russell Special Collections Libraries) Lisa Love and Tom Beard interview Alex Cooley and Peter Conlon, veteran concert promoters and founders of Atlanta’s Music Midtown. 2 p.m. FREE! cdunham@uga.edu PERFORMANCE: State Ballet Theatre of Russia (UGA Fine Arts Building) A fully-staged production of Cinderella with Prokofiev’s music, dancers, sets and costumes. 8 p.m. $49–59. www.pac.uga.edu

ART: Tour at Two (Georgia Museum of Art) Meet docents in the lobby for a tour of highlights from the museum’s collection. 2 p.m. FREE! www.georgiamuseum.org ART: Decorative Arts Tour (Georgia Museum of Art) Meet docents in the lobby for a tour of the decorative arts from the museum’s collection. 2 p.m.

FREE! www.georgiamuseum.org ART: Life Drawing Open Studio (UGA Lamar Dodd School of Art Galleries, Room S370) An opportunity to draw or paint the human figure from life. No instruction povided. 5:30–8:30 p.m. $8. www. art.uga.edu CLASSES: Native Plant Symposium (State Botanical Garden) Learn how to garden with native flowers and trees while considering related conservation issues and how to incorporate these plants into a home landscape plan. Lunch included. 8:45 a.m.–3:30 p.m. $55–60. www.botgarden.uga.edu EVENTS: Canine Cocktail Hour (Madison Bar & Bistro) Drink and food specials for you and your (well-behaved, non-aggressive, vaccinated) dog! Every Wednesday. 5–7 p.m. FREE! www.indigoathens.com EVENTS: Rabbit Box 8 (Melting Point) Listen as no-notes storytellers weave tales of “Resolution.” For adult ears. 7–9 p.m. $5. mreppers@ gmail.com EVENTS: Georgia Supreme Court Visit (UGA School of Law) Oral arguments for Edenfield v. State (death penalty) and Shekhawat, et al. v. Jones et al. (medical malpractice).

Registration required. 2 p.m. 706542-5172 GAMES: Trivia (Blind Pig Tavern) Think you know it all? Test your knowledge every Wednesday night.

8 p.m. Broad St. location. 706-5483442 GAMES: Trivia (Copper Creek Brewing Company) Test your trivia chops for prizes! Every Wednesday.

9 p.m. FREE! 706-546-1102 GAMES: Trivia (Willy’s Mexicana Grill) Trivia with a DJ! Every Wednesday. 8–10 p.m. FREE! 706548-1920 GAMES: Sports Trivia (Beef ‘O’ Brady’s) Test your sports knowledge every Wednesday night. 8:30 p.m.

FREE! 706-850-1916 GAMES: Trivia (Mellow Mushroom) Every Wednesday. 8 p.m. FREE! 706-613-0892 GAMES: Trivia (Choo Choo Japanese Korean Grill Express) Jump on the trivia train! Every Wednesday. 7:30 p.m. www.choochoorestaurants.com GAMES: Dirty Nerds Trivia (Dirty Birds) Trivia in the Crow’s Nest.

Every Wednesday. 8 p.m. FREE! 706-546-7050 GAMES: Trivia (Your Pie, Five Points location) Open your pie-hole for a

chance to win! Every Wednesday.

7:30 p.m. FREE! 706-850-7424 GAMES: Movie Trivia (Little Kings Shuffle Club) Hosted by Jeremy Dyson. 9 p.m. www.facebook.com/ lkshuffleclub KIDSTUFF: Preschool & Toddler Storytime (Madison County Library) Includes stories, fingerpuppet plays, songs and crafts for literacy-based fun. For ages 2–5.

Every Wednesday. 10:30 a.m. FREE! 706-795-5597 KIDSTUFF: Anime Club (Oconee Co. Library) All dedicated fans and new fans of anime and manga are invited. Ages 13–18. 6–8 p.m.

FREE! 706-769-3950 KIDSTUFF: Barnes & Noble Storytime (Barnes & Noble) Storytime for all ages. Children receive a free treat from the cafe. 11 a.m. FREE! 706-354-1195 LECTURES & LIT: Talking About Books (ACC Library) Adult book discussion group. This month’s title is The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein. Newcomers welcome.

10:30 a.m. FREE! 706-613-3650, ext. 324 LECTURES & LIT: Muslim Journeys Bookshelf Program (Oconee Co. Library) Colonel (ret.)

Lawrence H. Saul hosts the program “Islam, Foundation, History, Tenants of the Faith, and the Role of Islam in Today’s World.” The Library received the Muslim Journeys Bookshelf, a collection of 26 books related to the people, places, history, faith and cultures of Muslims around the world, including those within the United States. 7 p.m. FREE! 706-769-3950 MEETINGS: Athens PFLAG Meeting (Aloha Center) The first meeting of the year of Athens Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. 6:30-8 p.m.

FREE! 706-756-5428 PERFORMANCE: Woodwind Concert (Hugh Hodgson School of Music) University of Ohio’s Woodwind Trio performs. 8–9:30 p.m. FREE! 706-542-4752 PERFORMANCE: State Ballet Theatre of Russia (UGA Fine Arts Building) A fully-staged production of Cinderella with Prokofiev’s music, dancers, sets and costumes. 8 p.m. $49–59. www.pac.uga.edu

Thursday 17 ART: 2013 Shouky Shaheen Lecture (UGA Lamar Dodd School of Art Galleries, Room S151) Helen Evans, a specialist in early Christian, Byzantine and Armenian art, speaks on her three recent Byzantine Metropolitan Museum exhibitions.

5:30 p.m. FREE! www.art.uga.edu ART: Third Thursday Art Series (Athens, GA) Six galleries stay open late the third Thursday of every month. Galleries include the Georgia Museum of Art, Lamar Dodd School

Kip Moore plays the Georgia Theatre on Saturday, Jan. 19. of Art, ATHICA, Lyndon House Arts Center, Cine and the GlassCube & Gallery @ Hotel Indigo. 6-9 p.m.

FREE! www.3thurs.org ART: Book, Jacket and Journal Show (UGA Main Library, Third Floor) A display of all of the Association of American University Presses 2012 Book, Jacket, and Journal Show winners. 12–4 p.m.

FREE! www.ugapress.org ART: Opening Reception and Gallery Talk (Circle Gallery) For “Discrete Aperture: The Work of Nils Folke Anderson,” an exhibit of paintings and sculptures. 4:30 p.m.

FREE! mtufts@uga.edu ART: Artist Talk (University of North Georgia, Student Resource Center, room 522) Stanley Bermudez discusses his work in the exhibit, “Otros Soñadores,” featuring four artists whose work addresses issues of Latino identity. Reception to follow. 11 a.m. FREE! 678-717-3707 EVENTS: Relay for Life Kickoff (First Baptist Church) Learn all about this year’s Relay for Life.

Snacks provided. 5:30–8 p.m. FREE! www.relayforlife.org/clarkega EVENTS: Nature Ramblers (State Botanical Garden of Georgia) Learn more about the flora and fauna of the garden while making new friends and enjoying fresh air and inspirational readings. Ramblers are encouraged to bring their own nature writings or favorite poems to share.

Every Thursday. 8:30–10 a.m. FREE! www.botgarden.uga.edu EVENTS: Reiki Circle (Healing Arts Centre) A Japanese technique for stress reduction, relaxation and healing. Every Thursday. 7–8 p.m.

Donations accepted. 706-338-6843 FILM: Whit Stillman (UGA Tate Student Center) A moderated discussion with writer and director Whit Stillman (Metropolitan, Barcelona, The Last Days of Disco). 6 p.m.

FREE! www.union.uga.edu GAMES: Trivia (The Volstead) Every Thursday! 7:30-9:30 p.m. FREE! 706-354-5300 GAMES: Trivia with a Twist (Johnny’s New York Style Pizza) Throw a lime in your Coors Light and compete! Tuesdays &

Thursdays, 7:30-9:30 p.m. 706354-1515 KIDSTUFF: Magic Tree House Book Club (Madison County Library) For children at a second to third grade reading level. 4–5 p.m.

FREE! 706-795-5597 KIDSTUFF: Family Dinner Night (Earth Fare Café) Kids eat free every Thursday with one $5 adult purchase of prepared foods. Good for up to six kids, ages 12 & under. 4–8 p.m. $5.

706-227-1717 KIDSTUFF: Ben Franklin’s Scientific Experiment Program (Rocksprings Community Center) Celebrate Ben Franklin’s birthday and attempt to recreate several of his scientific experiments. 4:30–5:30 p.m. $1. 706-613-3602 KIDSTUFF: Read to Rover (Oconee Co. Library) Children read aloud to trained dogs to improve reading confidence. Trainer present. Register.

3–4 p.m. FREE! 706-769-3950 LECTURES & LIT: Understanding Volcanos (Madison County Library) Dr. David Dallmeyer, Professor Emeritus of Geology at UGA, shares a power point presentation. Followed by a Q&A. 7 p.m.

FREE! 706-795-5597

Friday 18 ART: Book, Jacket and Journal Show (UGA Main Library, Third Floor) A display of all of the Association of American University Presses 2012 Book, Jacket, and Journal Show winners. 12–4 p.m.

FREE! www.ugapress.org EVENTS: Steel Magnolias (The Melting Point) The ladies of Boybutante present a staged reading of Steel Magnolias. 7:30 p.m. $15. www.boybutante.org EVENTS: OLLI@UGA Back to Class Bash (Central Presbyterian Church) Informational meeting on courses, lectures, travel-study plans and volunteer opportunities.

For ages 50 & up. 10 a.m.–12 p.m.

FREE! www.olli.uga.edu FILM: Found Footage Festival (Ciné Barcafé) Nick Prueher (“The Colbert Report”) and Joe Pickett

(The Onion) showcase odd and hilarious videos salvaged from thrift stores across America. See Calendar Pick on p. 20. 8 p.m. $10. www. foundfootagefest.com FILM: Community Snapshot: Athens Georgia Revisited (Lyndon House Arts Center) The Boomers: Reflecting, Sharing, Learning presents a short film by Spectacle de Ville about two of Athens’ founding families. 7 p.m.

FREE! 706-613-3650 KIDSTUFF: Fantastic Fridays (Bishop Park, Gym) Various obstacle courses and activities for ages 10 months–4 years and their parents.

Call to register. 10–11:30 a.m. $5–7:30. 706-613-3589 PERFORMANCE: Terrance Simien and the Zydeco Experience (Madison Morgan Cultural Center) Grammy award-winning recording artist featured in Big Easy and The Princess and the Frog. In the morning, Simien performs kid-friendly “Creole for Kidz and History of Zydeco.” 9:30 a.m. (children), 7:30 p.m. (adults). $20–45. www.mmccarts.org PERFORMANCE: Athens Showgirl Cabaret (Little Kings Shuffle Club) A unique drag show featuring performances by local drag artists. 10 p.m. $5. 706-369-3144 THEATRE: Thoroughly Modern Millie (Oconee Youth Playhouse) Thoroughly Modern Millie is a high-spirited musical that takes place in the jazz-infused 1920s and focuses on the story of young Millie Dillmount, fresh from Kansas in search of a new life in NYC. Jan. 18 & 19, 7 p.m. & Jan. 20, 2 p.m. $12–16. www.oypoysp.com

Saturday 19 EVENTS: Project Safe Benefit (Stan Mullins Studio) Food from 19 local restaurants, wine tastings, a silent auction and live music by the Green Flag Band. Benefits Project Safe and Team 8 in Dancing with the Athens Stars. 5–8 p.m. $35 (adv.), $40. www.project-safe.org

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JANUARY 16, 2013 · FLAGPOLE.COM

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EVENTS: Open House and Pet Adoption Day (Petzone) Nonprofit, no-kill dog rescue shelter Petzone hosts a family-friendly open house and adoption day. Dogs will be available for play and adoption.

Bake sale, drinks and dog treats for sale, as well as specials on adoption fees, giveaways and more. 2–4 p.m.

FREE! 706-546-8006 EVENTS: Elegant Salute XIII: Black to White (Georgia Museum of Art) The Friends of the Georgia Museum of Art host their biennial gala featuring a catered dinner and dancing with Krush Girls. Black and white formal attire required.

See story on p. 7. 6:30 p.m. $300, $65 (dessert & dancing only). 706542-0830 EVENTS: Contra Dance (Memorial Park) Presented by the Athens Folk Music & Dance Society. Live music and calling. Free 30-minute lesson beginning at 7:30 p.m. No experience or partner needed. 8–11 p.m.

FREE! (under 18), $7 (adults). www. athensfolk.org FILM: Found Footage Festival (Ciné Barcafé) Nick Prueher (“The Colbert Report”) and Joe Pickett (The Onion) showcase odd and hilarious videos salvaged from thrift stores across America. See Calendar Pick on p. 20. 8 p.m. $10. www. foundfootagefest.com KIDSTUFF: Popcorn Party (Oconee Co. Library) Celebrate National Popcorn Day with popcorn games, crafts and taste-testing. All ages.

Registration required. 11 a.m. FREE! 706-769-3950 KIDSTUFF: Introduction to Scrapbooking (Lay Park) Turn your collection of photos into a work of art. For ages 8–17. Call to register. 10:30 a.m.–12 p.m. FREE! 706-613-3596 KIDSTUFF: Barnes & Noble Storytime (Barnes & Noble) Storytime for all ages. Children receive a free treat from the cafe. 11 a.m. FREE! 706-354-1195 OUTDOORS: Naturalist Walk (Sandy Creek Nature Center) Join the SCNC staff for a walk around the property. Bring a camera or binoculars. All ages. Call to register. 10–11 a.m. FREE! 706-613-3615 THEATRE: Thoroughly Modern Millie (Oconee Youth Playhouse) See Jan. 18 Theatre listing. Jan. 18 & 19, 7 p.m. & Jan. 20, 2 p.m. $12–16. www.oypoysp.com

Sunday 20 EVENTS: MLK Sunday Community Celebration (Lyndon House Arts Center) Performances by local poets, who have been paired with graphic designers to illustrate their works.

2–4:30 p.m. FREE! 706-613-3623 GAMES: Trivia (Buffalo’s Café) “Brewer’s Inquisition,” trivia hosted

by Chris Brewer every Sunday. 7 p.m. FREE! 706-354-6655, www. buffaloscafe.com/athens GAMES: Trivia Sundays (Blind Pig Tavern) At the West Broad location. 6 p.m. 706-208-7979 GAMES: Trivia (The Capital Room) Every Sunday! Hosted by Evan Delany. First place wins $50 and second place wins $25. 8 p.m.

FREE! www.thecapitalroom.com KIDSTUFF: Volcano Making (Madison County Library) Stop by to paint and decorate a giant volcano model! 4 p.m. FREE! 706-795-5597 THEATRE: No Shame (Hendershot’s Coffee Bar) Part of the Staged Reading Series hosted by UGA Professor and Rose of Athens Theatre Associate Artist, John

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Saturday, Jan. 19 continued from p. 17

Patrick Bray. 8 p.m. FREE! www. hendershotscoffee.com THEATRE: Thoroughly Modern Millie (Oconee Youth Playhouse) Thoroughly Modern Millie is a high-spirited musical that takes place in the jazz-infused 1920s and focuses on the story of young Millie Dillmount, fresh from Kansas in search of a new life in NYC. Jan. 18 & 19, 7 p.m. & Jan. 20, 2 p.m. $12–16. www.oypoysp.com

Monday 21 CLASSES: Homebrew Class (Five Points Bottle Shop) Learn how to brew extract beer. 4–7 p.m. www. fivepointsbottleshop.com EVENTS: A Night of Music for Medicine (The Melting Point) The Athens Nurses Clinic presents a night of live music with Caroline Aiken, MrJordanMrTonks and The Wildcats. Proceeds benefit the Athens Nurses Clinic. 7–9 p.m. $10. www.athensnursesclinic.org EVENTS: MLK Jr. Day of Service (Athens, GA) Annual day of service with nearly three dozen volunteer projects to register for. Visit website for descriptions of volunteer opportunities. 9 a.m.–12 p.m. FREE! www.handsonnortheastgeorgia.com/ athensmlk EVENTS: Grand Opening (Athens Bagel Co.) A celebration of the grand opening of Always Baked cookie shop. All proceeds go to local charities. 4:20 p.m. FREE! www. athenscookies.com GAMES: Trivia (Highwire Lounge) Athens’ toughest trivia. $100 grand prize every week! All ages. 8 p.m.

FREE! 706-543-8997 GAMES: Rock and Roll Trivia (Little Kings Shuffle Club) Get a team together and show off your extensive music knowledge every Monday! Hosted by Jonathan Thompson. 9 p.m. FREE! www.myspace.com/littlekingsshuffleclub GAMES: Team Trivia (Beef ‘O’ Brady’s) Win house cash and prizes!

Every Monday night. 8:30 p.m.

FREE! 706-850-1916

Tuesday 22 ART: Art Lecture: Steven J. Tepper (Georgia Museum of Art) A lecture on arts advocacy, democracy and the role of creativity in the new economy. Co-sponsored by UGA ‘s Ideas for Creative Exploration (ICE).

4 p.m. FREE! www.georgiamuseum. org CLASSES: Athens Swing Night (Dancefx) The UGA Swing Dance Club presents a casual evening of social swing dancing. No experience or partner necessary. Advanced lesson at 7 p.m., and beginner lesson at 7:30 p.m. 7–10 p.m. $3–5. www. athensswingnight.com EVENTS: Harvest Wine Dinner (Heirloom Cafe and Fresh Market) Come out and enjoy four courses and five wines. 5:30–9 p.m. $65.

706-354-7901 GAMES: Trivia (Fuzzy’s Taco Shop) Compete for prizes and giveaways.

Every Tuesday. 9–11 p.m. 706353-0305 GAMES: Trivia with a Twist (Johnny’s New York Style Pizza) Throw a lime in your Coors Light and compete! Tuesdays & Thursdays, 7:30-9:30 p.m. 706354-1515 GAMES: Pool Tournament (The Office Lounge) Double elimination round. 7:30 p.m. $5. www.facebook. com/officeathens

FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ JANUARY 16, 2013

GAMES: Locos Trivia (Locos Grill & Pub) All three Athens locations of Locos Grill and Pub (Westside, Eastside and Harris St.) feature trivia night every Tuesday. 8 p.m. FREE! www.locosgrill.com KIDSTUFF: MLK Garden Project (Rocksprings Community Center) Learn the basics of working with wood, measuring, following instructions and building raised beds.

For kids/teens ages 6–13. 4 p.m.

FREE! www.athensclarkecounty.com/ rocksprings LECTURES & LIT: Steven Tepper (Georgia Museum of Art) Tepper, an expert in the arts and cultural policy, gives a talk in partnership with UGA’s Ideas for Creative Exploration (ICE). 4 p.m. FREE! www.georgiamuseum.org PERFORMANCE: Faculty Concert Series (UGA Ramsey Concert Hall) Damon Denton performs on piano. 8 p.m. $10. www.pac.uga.edu

Wednesday 23 CLASSES: Small Business Publicity Workshop (Treehouse Kid and Craft) Amy Flurry leads a class on how to get your business featured in magazines and blogs.

5:30–7:30 p.m. $40. www.treehousekidandcraft.com CLASSES: Editing Digital Pictures (Oconee Co. Library) Learn the basics of photo editing like how to resize, crop, remove red eye, combine photos and more. 3–5 p.m.

FREE! 706-769-3950 FILM: The Greenhorns (UGA Tate Student Center) A documentary film exploring the lives of young farmers across America. Presented by Real Food UGA and Slow Food Greater Athens. 6:30 p.m. $1 (students), $5. www.facebook.com/realfooduga GAMES: Trivia (Willy’s Mexicana Grill) Trivia with a DJ! Every Wednesday. 8–10 p.m. FREE! 706548-1920 GAMES: Trivia (Mellow Mushroom) Every Wednesday. 8 p.m. FREE! 706-613-0892 GAMES: Trivia (Your Pie, Five Points location) Open your pie-hole for a chance to win! Every Wednesday.

7:30 p.m. FREE! 706-850-7424 GAMES: Trivia (Choo Choo Japanese Korean Grill Express) Jump on the trivia train! Every Wednesday. 7:30 p.m. www.choochoorestaurants.com GAMES: Trivia (Copper Creek Brewing Company) Test your trivia chops for fun prizes! Every Wednesday night. 9 p.m. FREE! 706546-1102 GAMES: Sports Trivia (Beef ‘O’ Brady’s) Test your sports knowledge every Wednesday night. 8:30 p.m.

FREE! 706-850-1916 GAMES: Trivia (Blind Pig Tavern) Think you know it all? Test your knowledge every Wednesday. 8 p.m.

Broad St. location. 706-548-3442 KIDSTUFF: Barnes & Noble Storytime (Barnes & Noble) Storytime for all ages. Children receive a free treat from the cafe. 11 a.m. FREE! 706-354-1195 KIDSTUFF: Preschool & Toddler Storytime (Madison County Library) Includes stories, fingerpuppet plays, songs and crafts for literacy-based fun. For ages 2–5.

Every Wednesday. 10:30 a.m. FREE! 706-795-5597 LECTURES & LIT: Origin of the Universe (UGA Chapel) Loris Magnani describes how Einstein laid the foundations for the Big Bang Theory with his Theory of General Relativity and what ideas were used to understand the expansion of the universe in the 1930s. Part of UGA’s Origins Lecture Series. 7 p.m. FREE! www.originslectures.uga.edu

Wednesday, January 16

Julie Bonato

THE CALENDAR!

The Soft Moon, Majical Cloudz, Twin Tigers Caledonia Lounge On record, The Soft Moon serves as Luis Vasquez’s solo outlet, wherein he clinically fuses Joy Division’s frozen sonics with austere goth visions. The grimly clausThe Soft Moon trophobic atmosphere is punctuated by urgent synths and drum machines seemingly hijacked from Martin Rev himself.

Released only a couple years ago, The Soft Moon’s self-titled debut featured barebones production that evoked the haunted corners of pitch-black rooms. The debut bolstered the ‘80s-veined renaissance the still-young Captured Tracks was spearheading, while also cementing The Soft Moon as a vicious force to be reckoned with. While Vasquez’s labelmates Beach Fossils and Wild Nothing reveled in gleeful-bummer pop that you can dance and sing along to, his was inward-facing music that found beauty in darkness: songs for loners.

Vasquez recently returned with Zeros, a logical step that refines the starkly gorgeous aura of the band’s debut. At 10 songs, and barely more than 30 minutes long, Zeros leaves no room for filler; the result is pure, gothic joy. Songs like “Insides” and “Crush” channel The Cure’s holy trilogy, balancing introverted tendencies with raucous post-new wave.

Fleshed out as a live entity, The Soft Moon’s ghastly transmissions are taken deeper into the anxious territory once charted by Chrome and The Units. Vasquez’s songs bleed into one another in an overlapping squall of noise and feedback rivaled only by A Place to Bury Strangers.

The unrelenting pummel that is the rhythm section for tracks like “Die Life” and “Machines” serves up a mechanical beat that obliterates as much as it grooves. These songs are destined to be experienced in a dark, packed, basement-like space like the Caledonia Lounge. [Bobby Power]

LIVE MUSIC Tuesday 15 40 Watt Club 9 p.m. $8 (21+), $10 (18+). www.40watt.com THE GROWLERS California-based garage rock outfit.

THE VACANT LOTS Psych-rock band from Vermont.

THE HUMMS Local three-piece known for its loud and bizarre shows and a raunchy, grooving blend of psychedelic garage rock.

Caledonia Lounge 9:30 p.m. $5 (21+) $7 (18-20). www. caledonialounge.com MR. MUSTACHE Five-piece folk-rock group from McDonough.

JUNIOR ASTRONOMERS Indie-rock band from Charlotte, NC. ARGONAUTS Local band plays moody, alternative-inspired rock.

PATRICK Solo project from a member of Futo.

Green Room 6 p.m. FREE! www.greenroomathens. com KENOSHA KID Centered around the instru-improv jazz compositions of guitarist Dan Nettles, Kenosha Kid is packed with music, mischief, general mayhem, and offers a sound far from the middle of the road, serving noise-rock fans and jam band listeners equally.

Max SheHeHe Album Listening Party! 10 p.m. FREE! 706-254-3392 TRIANGLE FIRE Local crust-punk band.

THE VG MINUS ‘70s-styled powerpop/punk.

FOOD CLOTHES SHELTER Local punk band.

The Melting Point Terrapin Tuesday! 7:30 p.m. $5. www. meltingpointathens.com YARN Brooklyn-based group with a deep Americana sound.

Nowhere Bar Tuesday Night Confessional. 9 p.m.

FREE! 706-546-4742 FESTER HAGOOD This local songwriter sings in a soft drawl that accents his simple, plucked country songs.

EMILY JACKSON Self-taught folk singer-songwriter on the rise.

THE LAW BAND Country-rock band from Atlanta.

ISAAC BRAMBLETT Local country, folk and Southern rock singersongwriter.

The Volstead 9 p.m.–1:30 a.m. 706-354-5300 KARAOKE Every Tuesday!

Wednesday 16 Boar’s Head Lounge 11 p.m. FREE! 706-369-3040 OPEN MIC NIGHT Showcase your talent. Every Wednesday!

Caledonia Lounge 9 p.m. $6 (21+), $8 (18+). www.caledonialounge.com THE SOFT MOON Luis Vasques plays dark, moody, synth-driven music that is experimental in nature.

See Calendar Pick on this page.

MAJICAL CLOUDZ Montreal-based experimental band.

TWIN TIGERS Loud and lush at the same time, this local rock band combines jarring guitar riffs with sweeping melodies.

Farm 255 8 p.m. FREE! www.farm255.com CALEB DARNELL Member of The Darnell Boys and Bellyache sings the blues.

Flicker Theatre & Bar 9 p.m. www.flickertheatreandbar.com ECHO CANYON Experimental music that is playful yet demanding with an other-worldly, delicate feel that evolves into metal power.

THE LANES Project featuring brothers Kevin and Matt Lane playing powerpop in the vein of The Possibilities.

DJ FORD EXPLODER Matt Patton (Dexateens, Drive-By Truckers) spinning old soul records.

Georgia Theatre 8 p.m. $11. www.georgiatheatre.com TOUBAB KREWE Instrumental band that uses unique African instrumentation and blends Southern, classic rock with the rich musical textures of Mali.

DANGERMUFFIN South Carolina trio that shifts between Southern rock, beach grooves and Americana.

Go Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-5609 THE SEDIMENT CLUB Post-punk/no wave tunes from Providence, RI. WITCH WOLF Massachusetts-based noise band.

MOUSER Exuberant garage-pop that experiments with noise jams.

HALF ACID Greg O’Connell (Bubbly Mommy Gun) experiments with synths and talk boxes.

BUBBLY MOMMY GUN Local experimental pop band that plays idiosyncratic, psychedelic tunes.

Green Room 7 p.m. www.greenroomathens.com CARL LINDBERG & FRIENDS Beloved local latin-jazz bassist performs a mix of standards and originals.

Green Room 10 p.m. $5. www.greenroomathens. com THE CORDUROY ROAD Although rooted in classic Americana, with lots of foot-stomping, banjo-pluck-

ing and pedal steel, The Corduroy Road also has a knack for endearing pop melodies.

HAVE GUN, WILL TRAVEL Infectious singalong choruses are the signature of this poppy Americana act. Recommended for fans of The Avett Brothers and Old Crow Medicine Show.

Hendershot’s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. FREE! www.hendershotscoffee. com GUITAR SUMMIT Round-table style guitar-geekery with hosts Dan Nettles and Allen Owens. Tonight’s guests include William Tonks and Al Owens, and is loosely centered around the theme of “Unplugged.”

New Earth Music Hall 8 p.m. $10. www.newearthmusichall. com GREENSKY BLUEGRASS Wellregarded, well-traveled, Michiganbased bluegrass group.

HIGH STRUNG STRING BAND High-energy sounds building on the originality of folk-grass with a tinge of edginess.

CICADA RHYTHM Local acoustic guitar and upright bass duo playing bluegrass-tinged indie folk. See story on p. 15.

The Office Lounge 9:30 p.m. FREE! 706-549-0840 KARAOKE With your host Lynn, the Queen of Karaoke!

Porterhouse Grill 7 p.m. FREE! 706-369-0990 JAZZ NIGHT Join drummer Nicholas Wiles with bassist Drew Hart and pianist Steve Key for an evening of original music, improv and standards.

Tapped 9 p.m. FREE! 706-850-6277 KARAOKE Every Wednesday!

Terrapin Beer Co. 5:30 p.m. FREE! www.terrapinbeer.com CHRIS BELL Electric cello swerves and jumps around beatboxing and electric piano in quirky pop.

Thursday 17 40 Watt Club 8 p.m. $30. www.40watt.com DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS Local Southern rock superstars return for a three-night stand.

THUNDERCRACK The touring crew behind the Drive-By Truckers performs a set of Bruce Springsteen covers. ÇITLIN’ SOUTHERN SOUL REVUE Nuci’s Space’s own cover band performs a set of soul covers.

Barbeque Shack 7 p.m. FREE! 706-613-6752 OPEN BLUEGRASS JAM All pickers welcome! Every Thursday!

Caledonia Lounge 9:30 p.m. $5 (21+) $7 (18-20). www. caledonialounge.com CLOAK AND DAGGER DATING SERVICE Local six-piece ensemble plays loud and straightahead rock with dueling male/female vocals.

COME WHAT MAY Hard and fast local rock band with a positive message.

PANIC MANOR Rock group from Augusta.

Dirty Birds/Crow’s Nest 9 p.m. FREE! 706-546-7050 TJ & FRANK Members of The District Attorneys play a set.

JACK BLAUVELT Dana Swimmer frontman performs a solo set.

Farm 255 Stacey-Marie Benefit! 10:30 p.m.

Donations. www.farm255.com EUREKA CALIFORNIA Melodic, guitar-driven indie rock influenced by bands like Guided by Voices.

ZEROSMITHS New band from John McClain, featuring members of S H A D E. MONSOON Female-fronted local post-punk band.

CLARA HOAG Folk-punk singersongwriter.

PIPES YOU SEE, PIPES YOU DON’T Pete Erchick (Olivia Tremor Control) plays gorgeous psych-pop.

Flicker Theatre & Bar 9 p.m. www.flickertheatreandbar.com HAND SAND HANDS Experimental, psychedelic pop-rock from Jonathan Miller. Every Thursday in January!

BROTHERS Local trio plays swirling folky tunes that are rich with strings, twisted overdubs and haunting vocals.

JOHN FERNANDES Olivia Tremor Control bassist and local experimental fixture plays a solo set.

FUTURE APE TAPES Local group creating psychedelic, experimental music driven by loops, beats, guitars and synths.

KILL KILL BUFFALO Grungy, hardrock duo based in Athens featuring Kara Kildare’s powerful, seductive vocals.

Georgia Bar 11 p.m. FREE! 706-546-9884 THE REIVERS Local rock and roll band.

Georgia Theatre 9 p.m. $5. www.georgiatheatre.com ROLLIN’ IN THE HAY “High-octane groove-grass with a touch of down home foot stompin’.”

BEAR LEFT This local high-energy jam band combines rock and funk influences.

UNIVERSAL SIGH Athens-based jazz-fusion/funk-oriented rock band that strives to create a unique musical experience with each and every performance.

Go Bar 11 p.m. 706-546-5609 KARAOKE Hosted by karaoke fanatic John “Dr. Fred” Bowers and featuring a large assortment of pop, rock, indie and more.

Green Room 7 p.m. www.greenroomathens.com LASSINE KOUYATE Local Americana singer-songwriter Adam Klein presents a new twist on the traditional West African music in Mali.

Hendershot’s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. FREE! www.hendershotscoffee. com JAZZ NIGHT Jazz jam featuring drummer Seth Hendershot and others.

The Melting Point 8 p.m. $7 (adv.), $10 (door). www. meltingpointathens.com MISSY RAINES & THE NEW HIP Raines and her band “blur the lines between jazz, bluegrass and R&B, redefining the acoustic/electric/ hybrid landscape.

THE HOBOHEMIANS This sixpiece plays popular American and European roots music of the 1910s, ‘20s and ‘30s.

New Earth Music Hall 9 p.m. www.newearthmusichall.com RUG Melodic alternative rock band from Orlando.

FEATHER TRADE Formerly known as Misfortune500, this local band plays moody post-pop. k continued on next page

ENTRY DEADLlNE lS

DO YOU PLAY MUSlC?

FEBRUary 28

Wow!

Prizes generously provided by:

Chase park Transductlon

PLEASE WRlTE US A THEME SONG!

Help us celebrate 25 years of Flagpole by writing our theme song! The winner will get to record the song at Chase Park Transduction, have the song played at the 2013 Flagpole Athens Music Awards show and receive valuable prizes!

Send your demo to 1 1 2 Foundry St., Athens, GA or email your song to themesong@flagpole.com

lzes!

Win Pr

JANUARY 16, 2013 · FLAGPOLE.COM

19

THE CALENDAR! Eat. Drink. Listen Closely.

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Nowhere Bar 9:30 p.m. 706-546-4742 COTTER PEN Local quartet plays jammy rock, blues and soul.

SETH WINTERS Mainstream songwriting with a guitar-driven sound.

The Office Lounge Blues Night. 9 p.m. FREE! 706-5460840 THE SHADOW EXECUTIVES Get your fill of straight-up, authentic blues covers from this skilled Athens five-piece. This is an open jam and guests are welcome!

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Terrapin Beer Co. 5:30 p.m. FREE! www.terrapinbeer.com ERIC SOMMER Upbeat songs that showcase the D.C.-native guitaristâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s proficiency in slide guitar and Travis picking.

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40 Watt Club 8 p.m. $30. www.40watt.com DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS Local Southern rock superstars return for a three-night stand.

GRASS GIRAFFES Buzzworthy local band puts together a psychedelic and anthemic dance party.

Amici 11 p.m. FREE! 706-353-0000 THE AVIATORS Hard rock with a hint of funk and a lot of power.

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LOCATED ON THE GROUNDS OF

FLAGPOLE.COM â&#x2C6;&#x2122; JANUARY 16, 2013

Good boy.

Caledonia Lounge 9:30 p.m. $6 (21+), $8 (18+). www. caledonialounge.com DIARRHEA PLANET Anthemic rock from Nashville with a sense of humor.

PUJOL Twangy, energetic garage rock signed to Jack Whiteâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Third Man Records.

FRANKENSTRANGLER Side project of TJ Mimbs and Frank Keith IV of The District Attorneys.

Dirty Birds/Crowâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Nest 9 p.m. FREE! 706-546-7050 TRIZ Local DJ mainstay spins a set.

TROGDOR Local trance DJ. Farm 255 11 p.m. FREE! www.farm255.com ANDREW KAHRS This UGA grad has a silky smooth voice and soulful style that is reminiscent of John Mayer or Jack Johnson.

Georgia Theatre 9 p.m. $10. www.georgiatheatre.com ZOOGMA Combining DJ beats with a rock band to create a fusion between electronica and rock.

MOCHIPET Group headed by DJ David Y Wang.

DJ WILL WEBER This rising DJ and producer fluidly blends trap, Moombahton and dubstep with contemporary indie and hip-hop.

Go Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-5609 DJ MAHOGANY Popular local DJ spins freaky funk, sultry soul, righteous R&B and a whole lotta unexpected faves.

Hendershotâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. www.hendershotscoffee.com QUIABO DE CHAPEU Athens/Atlanta musicians playing a lively mix of authentic Brazilian and funk music.

Highwire Lounge â&#x20AC;&#x153;Friday Night Jazz.â&#x20AC;? 8â&#x20AC;&#x201C;11 p.m. FREE! www.highwirelounge.com RAND LINES Original compositions of pianist Rand Lines with drum-

Thursday, Jan. 17 continued from p.â&#x20AC;&#x2030;19

mer Ben Williams and bassist Carl Lindberg.

Nowhere Bar 10 p.m. FREE! 706-546-4742 YOUNG AMERICA Local alt-country band.

The Office Lounge 9 p.m. 706-546-0840 TANGENTS This country-fried rock group from Watkinsville carries Lynyrd Skynyrd licks and John Mellencamp melodies.

Terrapin Beer Co. 5:30 p.m. FREE! www.terrapinbeer.com STEPHEN BABCOCK New Yorkbased singer-songwriter.

Saturday 19 40 Watt Club 8 p.m. $30. www.40watt.com DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS Local Southern rock superstars return for a three-night stand.

VELOCIRAPTURE Loud and brash local rock group that names Velvet Underground and Stooges among its influences.

CAMP AMPED BAND Tunes from Nuçiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Spaceâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s group of future rock stars.

Amici 11 p.m. FREE! 706-353-0000 BAD TEMPERED RABBIT Local jam-rock/funk band.

Caledonia Lounge 10 p.m. $6 (21+), $8 (18+). www.caledonialounge.com MANRAY One of Athensâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; most exciting live acts waves a big middle finger to traditional song structure while play-

ing what Flagpoleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Gordon Lamb has coined â&#x20AC;&#x153;complicated-core.â&#x20AC;?

IRREVERSIBLE Post-metal band from Atlanta.

LAZER/WULF This avant-metal instrumental trio mixes in prog, thrash as well as more eclectic influences for a high-energy and highly entertaining live show.

SET AND SETTING Dynamic, instrumental post-rock from this Florida band.

Dirty Birds/Crowâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Nest 9 p.m. $5. 706-546-7050 EVAN BARBER & THE DEAD GAMBLERS Alternative rock band from Albany, GA. Farm 255 11 p.m. FREE! www.farm255.com THE DREEBS Noisy, Brooklyn-based psych project.

GUERILLA TOSS Boston-based nowave band.

S H A D E Groove-oriented post-punk.

BUBBLY MOMMY GUN Local experimental pop band that plays idiosyncratic, psychedelic tunes.

SAD DADS The group tells Flagpole it sounds like â&#x20AC;&#x153;shitty Pavement.â&#x20AC;?

Flicker Theatre & Bar 9 p.m. www.flickertheatreandbar.com HELEN SCOTT Lindsey Haddad, Emileigh Ireland, Hannah Weyandt and Dena Zilber play folky pop with a hint of psychedelic rock.

AJ GRIFFIN Solo set from a member of Vespolina.

THE GOOD GRACES Indie-pop from Atlanta.

JPHONO1 Chapel Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s John Harrison plays psych-addled folk-rock.

Georgia Theatre 8 p.m. $17.50. www.georgiatheatre. com KIP MOORE Nashville-based country singer from Tifton, GA.

A THOUSAND HORSES Southern rock from Nashville.

Go Bar 10 p.m. FREE! 706-546-5609 KARAOKE Hosted by karaoke fanatic John â&#x20AC;&#x153;Dr. Fredâ&#x20AC;? Bowers and featuring a large assortment of pop, rock, indie and more.

Green Room 10 p.m. FREE! www.greenroomathens. com THE DARNELL BOYS The three Darnell brothers play and sing country blues originals backed by upright bass, singing saw and junkyard percussion. Music video release!

GLASSCRAFTS Side project featuring members of Grass Giraffesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Steven Trimmer and Robby Casso.

MATT HUDGINS Local songwriter plays â&#x20AC;&#x153;songs about drinking, jail, love and death, all done in the popular â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;country and westernâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; musical style.â&#x20AC;?

Hendershotâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. www.hendershotscoffee.com KATE MORRISSEY Best known for her dark velvet voice, Morrisseyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s songwriting is literate and sincere.

CHRIS MCKAY Local songwriter and Critical Darlings frontman plays a solo set.

Kumquat Mae Bakery CafĂŠ 8 p.m. FREE! 706-769-1105 TASHIA Local neo-soul singersongwriter plays songs from her upcoming album, Destiny.

Little Kings Shuffle Club 10 p.m. FREE! 706-369-3144 DJ MAHOGANY Popular local DJ spins freaky funk, sultry soul, righteous R&B and a whole lotta unexpected faves.

Friday, January 18 & Saturday, January 19

Found Footage Festival CinĂŠ In college, Nick Prueher and Joe Pickett would sit in their living rooms and joke about VHS tapes they brought home from the thrift store. Typical, right?

But a few choice gigs (â&#x20AC;&#x153;Mystery Science Theater 3000,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Colbert Report,â&#x20AC;? The Onion) later, their love of found footage has grown into an anticipated annual collage of the best and the worst the VHS years had to offer: the vulnerable underbelly of human self-importance that is the Found Footage Festival.

To create an installment of the festival, now on volume seven, Prueher and Pickett respectfully watch all the videos in full before splicing them incongruously and giving live commentary as they play to an audience, exposing the filmsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; true strangeness and hilarity. Past samples have included workout videos for the elderly, instructional flirting videos and clips of sad, earnest clowns ignoring the fourth wall. They eschew the truly indigestible, but not much is off-limits. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Occasionally, we will get walkouts, where people didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know what to expect,â&#x20AC;? says Prueher. â&#x20AC;&#x153;But weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve tried to head that off at the pass this year by opening the show with a police training film called Sudden Birth, which is exactly what it sounds like. If people see that footage and stick around, we know theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re in for the long haul.â&#x20AC;?

This time around, the team has dug deeper, even interviewing people featured in the decades-old tapesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;a tactic that may do more to obscure the videosâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; intended meaning than clarify it. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s kind of like the buddy system in swimming,â&#x20AC;? Prueher says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d be dangerous to do this alone, so we always do it together to help get each other through this painful process. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the job we were born to do, as sad as that might make our parents. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re doing Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s work,â&#x20AC;? he adds.

Festival attendees are invited to bring any relevant and adoptable VHS footage, as Prueher promises to give it a good home. Daily samples and teasers can be found at foundfootagefest.com. [Sydney Slotkin]

The Melting Point 8 p.m. $10 (adv.), $13 (door). www. meltingpointathens.com GRAINS OF SAND This local band with a killer four-piece horn section offers up your favorite â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;60s and â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;70s beach and Motown music. CD release party!

New Earth Music Hall 9:30 p.m. $7. www.newearthmusichall. com K-THEORY San Francisco-based electronic duo.

SATORU Glitchy, synth-heavy producer from Atlanta.

The Office Lounge 9 p.m. 706-546-0840 MATT JOINER BAND Local guitarist draws inspiration from blues and classic rock.

Terrapin Beer Co. 5:30 p.m. FREE! www.terrapinbeer.com ROB NANCE North Carolina-based singer-songwriter.

Sunday 20 The Melting Point 7:30 p.m. $12 (adv.), $15 (door). www. meltingpointathens.com ED ROLAND AND THE SWEET TEA PROJECT Collective Soulâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s frontman sets up shop for a residency at the Melting Point every Sunday through Feb. 17.

MR. MUSTACHE Five-piece folk-rock group from McDonough.

Ten Pins Tavern 7:30 p.m. FREE! 706-546-8090 SUNDAY NIGHT AT THE BOWLING ALLEY BLUES BAND Featuring locals Paul Scales, Randy Durham, John Straw, Dave Herndon and Scott Sanders playing blues jams.

Monday 21 Hendershotâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. FREE! www.hendershotscoffee. com OPEN MIC Local songstress Kyshona Armstrong hosts this open mic night every Monday!

The Melting Point Athens Nurses Clinic Benefit! 7 p.m. $5-$10. www.meltingpointathens. com CAROLINE AIKEN One of Atlantaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most talented songwriters. Her bluesy voice and masterful technique guarantee a hypnotic performance.

WILDCATS Long-running local blues group.

MRJORDANMRTONKS Tommy Jordan and William Tonks play folk and bluegrass.

Nowhere Bar 10 p.m. FREE! 706-546-4742 JAZZ FUNK JAM WITH DREW HART Local musician and Juice Box bassist leads a jam session.

Tuesday 22 Farm 255 11 p.m. FREE! www.farm255.com THE DIRTY NAMES Four-piece rock band from Maryland.

Flicker Theatre & Bar 9 p.m. FREE! www.flickertheatreandbar. com CAPTAIN #1 This band spins grand tales of death, love and life through low-key acoustic pop.

BILLY MACK COLLECTOR Quirky folk-punk band from Pennsylvania.

HER FANTASTIC CATS Solo banjo music from Baltimore.

Hendershotâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. www.hendershotscoffee.com NICKELS AND DIMES Folk-rock duo from Baton Rouge.

Piano Lessons

The Melting Point Terrapin Tuesday! 7:30 p.m. $5. www. meltingpointathens.com BIG DADDY LOVE This band â&#x20AC;&#x153;brings a natural blend of grass, roots and rock to the North Carolina scene.â&#x20AC;?

706-363-0328

Nowhere Bar Tuesday Night Confessional. 9 p.m.

FREE! 706-546-4742 FESTER HAGOOD This local songwriter sings in a soft drawl that accents his simple country songs.

LEVI LOWREY Storyteller and singersongwriter from Dacula.

UNCLE DAVE GRIFFIN Renowned Southern singer-songwriter.

UNCLE DANNY MCADAMS Local guitarist and singer-songwriter.

SEAN CLARK â&#x20AC;&#x153;Swampadelicâ&#x20AC;? singersongwriter.

The Volstead 9 p.m.â&#x20AC;&#x201C;1:30 a.m. 706-354-5300 KARAOKE Every Tuesday!

Wednesday 23 Boarâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Head Lounge 11 p.m. FREE! 706-369-3040 OPEN MIC NIGHT Showcase your talent. Every Wednesday!

Georgia Theatre 9 p.m. $10. www.georgiatheatre.com ZOSO This Led Zeppelin tribute band has played over 2,400 performances.

booking@randlines.com

Rand Lines

Harvest Wine Dinner Tuesday, January 22nd

4 COURSES 5 WINES $65 Reservations Required

706.354.7901

Corner of Chase and Boulevard

Go Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-5609 CORTEZ GARZA Local singer-songwriter pushes the envelope with his unique blend of indie/Americana.

heirloomathens.com

Green Room 7 p.m. www.greenroomathens.com CARL LINDBERG & FRIENDS Beloved local latin-jazz bassist performs standards and originals.

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Hendershotâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. www.hendershotscoffee.com THE HOBOHEMIANS This six-piece, acoustic band performs popular American and European roots music of the 1910s, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;20s and â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;30s: a potent mix of proto-jazz, blues and folk.

The Melting Point 7:30 p.m. $12 (adv.), $15 (door). www. meltingpointathens.com MATT SCHOFIELD BAND Talented and energetic band fronted by the renowned British blues guitarist.

BLONDE BLUES Blues-rock group from Asheville, NC. MATT JOINER BAND Local guitarist draws inspiration from blues and classic rock.

The Office Lounge 9:30 p.m. FREE! 706-549-0840 KARAOKE With your host Lynn, the Queen of Karaoke!

Porterhouse Grill 7 p.m. FREE! 706-369-0990 JAZZ NIGHT Join drummer Nicholas Wiles with bassist Drew Hart and pianist Steve Key for an evening of original music, improv and standards.

Tapped 9 p.m. FREE! 706-850-6277 KARAOKE Every Wednesday!

Terrapin Beer Co. 5:30 p.m. FREE! www.terrapinbeer.com LEAVING COUNTRIES Local group led by guitarist Louis Phillip Pelot.

285 W. Washington St. Athens, GA â&#x20AC;˘ Call 706-549-7871 for Show Updates

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JANUARY 16, 2013 ¡ FLAGPOLE.COM

21

bulletin board DO SOMETHING; GET INVOLVED! Deadline for getting listed in Bulletin Board and Art Around Town is every THURSDAY at 12 p.m.

Email calendar@flagpole.com. Listings are printed based on available space; more listings are online.

ART Call for Artists (OCAF) Seeking submissions for the 18th annual Southworks Juried Art Exhibition.

Visit website for application.

Deadline Feb. 16. $25-35. www.ocaf.com Call for Artists (Amici) Seeking artists for monthly exhibits. Email samples to ryan.myers@amici-cafe. com

AUDITIONS ACT Auditions (Memorial Park, Quinn Hall) Athens Creative Theatre holds auditions for its upcoming production of Live Art: Broadway at the Movies. Prepare 16 bars of a Broadway song and bring sheet music. Minimal rehearsals will be held Tuesdays and Thursdays, 6–9 p.m. Show dates are Apr. 12–14.

For ages 8 & older. Call to schedule an appointment. Jan. 22 & 23, 6–9 p.m. FREE! 706-613-3628 Chorale Auditions (Athens Master Chorale, Athens GA) Now accepting auditions for alto, tenor and bass voice parts. Contact Joseph Napoli for information and scheduling. 706-546-0023, evenings only.

CLASSES Adult Intermediate Sewing (Treehouse Kid and Craft) For those who know a little about sewing and want to learn more. Learn how to read patterns and more. Machine required. Monday, Wednesday and Friday though Jan. 18, 10 a.m.–12 p.m. $120. www.treehousekidand craft.com

Adult Knitting (Treehouse Kid and Craft) Learn how to cast on, knit, purl and bind off. Thursdays through Jan. 31, 7:30–8:30 p.m. $65. www. treehousekidandcraft.com Arrow Yoga Classes (Arrow) Arrow offers ongoing prenatal yoga classes and mama/baby yoga classes. No pre-registration necessary. Visit website for details. www. ourarrow.com Athens Yoshukai Karate (UGA Tate Student Center, Room 311) Traditional Okinawan hard style karate taught in a positive atmosphere. View schedule online. FREE! www.athensy.com Buddhist Book Study (Body, Mind & Spirit) Every Wednesday.

6 p.m. Donations accepted. 706351-6024 Clay Classes (Good Dirt) Weekly “Try Clay” classes ($20/person) introduce participants to the potter’s wheel every Friday from 7–9 p.m.

“Family Try Clay” classes show children and adults hand-building methods every Sunday from 2–4 p.m. $20. 706-355-3161, www. gooddirt.net Computer Classes (Oconee Co. Library) Advanced to beginner computer classes offered by appointment. Register. 706-769-3950, watkinsville@athenslibrary.org Dance Classes (Dancefx) Ballet, tap, hip-hop, Zumba, contemporary, foxtrot, Western dancing, strip aerobics, ballroom dancing, salsa, pilates and more. Check website for schedule. 706-355-3078, www. dancefx.org Design Basics for Edible Landscaping Series (State Botanical Garden of Georgia) Threepart series offers instruction on how to make the most of your edible garden. 5–7 p.m. $50. www.uga. edu/botgarden

ACC ANIMAL CONTROL 125 Buddy Christian Way • 706-613-3540

Open every day except Wednesday 10am-4pm This Shepherd mix is about a year old, very happy and friendly and loves other dogs. Has some bare spots on her coat but hair is growing back.

1/3 to 1/9

37881

22

Me, worry? Never.

Easygoing Labrador / Hound mix with green eyes and a red and white coat. Happy on your lap but is gonna be a big girl.

37923

From Sewing to Quiltmaking (Sewcial Studio) If you already know how to sew and want to learn how to make quilts, this class will teach you the basics of using the tools. Preregistration required. Jan 17, 6–7:30 p.m. $10. 706-247-6143, www. sewcialstudio.com Garden Geology (State Botanical Garden of Georgia) Dan Williams teaches about Georgia’s six geologic provinces; how they were formed, how to identify them and how they affect plants, animals and people.

Participants will make their own collection of Georgia rocks and receive a copy of Rocks of Georgia, a companion to the sessions. Wednesdays through Feb. 27, 4-6 p.m. $45. www.botgarden.uga.edu Gentle Flow Yoga (Athens Five Points Yoga Studio) Lunchtime flow yoga at a slower pace. Prenatal or beginners welcome. Every Tuesday, 12 p.m. $14. 706-355-3114, info@5pointsyoga.com Gentle Hatha Integral Yoga (St. Gregory’s Episcopal Church) All levels welcome. Tuesdays, 5:30–7 p.m. $9/class. 706-543-0162, mfhealy@bellsouth.net, www.mind fuliving.org Needle Felting Workshop for Adults (Lyndon House) Learn how to turn wool finer/roving into three-dimensional soft sculptures like owls, fortune cookies and felted soap. Saturdays, Jan. 19 & 26 or Saturdays, Apr. 13 & 20, 1–3 p.m. $48–62. 706-613-3623, www.athens clarkecounty.com/lyndonhouse Online Computer Tutorials (ACC Library) Choose from a list of topics for personalized, one-onone instruction. The library also offers online computer classes in Microsoft Word, PowerPoint, Excel and eBooks. Call for times and to register. 706-613-3650

37798and Attentive affectionate Pitbull mix. She has a beautiful white coat all over with a half brown mask and docked ears.

Gentle and smart.

37906

Absolute GEM of a dog! She’s an adult Australian Cattledog mix, with great leash manners, a dainty walk, and she knows “sit” and possibly more. Very sweet, obedient, playful and loving.

37900

ACC ANIMAL CONTROL more local adoptable cats and dogs at 23 Dogs Received, 28 Dogs Placed!

4 Cats Received, 5 Cats Placed athenspets.net ATHENS AREA HUMANE SOCIETY 7 Animals Received, 6 Animals Placed, 0 Healthy Adoptable Animals Euthanized

FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ JANUARY 16, 2013

Mary Hallam Pearse’s work “To Have and to Hold” is on display at the Gallery@Hotel Indigo through Mar. 21.

Printmaking Workshops (Double Dutch Press) Intro to Woodcut, Jan. 16, 6–8 p.m., $125; Intro to Linocut, Jan. 20 & 25, 2–4 p.m. $115; Valentine’s Workshop; Jan. 24, 6–8 p.m., $65. www.double dutchpress.com SALSAthens (Little Kings Shuffle Club) Cuban-style salsa dance classes with SALSAthens. Every Wednesday, 6:30-7:30 p.m. (intermediate), 7:30-8:30 p.m. (beginners). $8 (incl. $3.50 drink).

706-338-6613 Scottish Country Dance Classes (780 Timothy Rd.) Social dancing at its liveliest with jigs, reels and strathspeys. Bring your dancing shoes. Every Thursday, 7–9 p.m. $3. dabmillier@google.com Silk Painting Weekend Workshop (Margaret Agner Silks) Taught by Margaret Agner of Margaret Agner Silks. Call to register. Jan. 26 & 27, 10 a.m.–4 p.m. $110 (incl. materials). 706353-7719 Winter/Spring Classes (OCAF) Offerings include watercolor and still life painting, figure drawing, clay arts, paper making, wire wrap jewelry, bag pipes, freelance writing and self-publishing. Visit website for online registration. www.ocaf.com Yoga Teacher Training (Whole: Mind. Body. Art.) Yoga Allianceregistered 200-hour yoga teacher training. Every Saturday, through May 11, 8 a.m.–6 p.m. $1,450. www.yogafulday.com Yoga Teacher Training (Athens Five Points Yoga Studio) Yoga Alliance-registered 200-hour yoga teacher training. Every Saturday through July 20, 12 p.m. $1,900. www.athensfivepointsyoga.com Yoga and Bellydancing Classes (Healing Arts Centre) Several types of ongoing yoga classes are offered for all levels, including ashtanga, therapeutic and yoga teacher training, as well as beginner bellydancing. Visit website for details. www.healingartscentre. net Zumba (Athens Latino Center for Education and Services (ALCES)) Instructed by Maricela Delgado.

Every Monday, 8–9 p.m. and Wednesday, 6–7 p.m. & 7:15–8:15 p.m. $5 (1 class), $8 (for both Wed. classes). 706-540-0591 Zumba at the Garden (State Botanical Garden of Georgia) Latin rhythms and easy-to-follow moves comprise this dynamic fitness program. Wednesdays, 5:30–6:30 p.m.

$10/class, $70/session. www.uga. edu/botgarden Zumba(r) with Ingrid (Casa de Amistad) A dance fitness class that incorporates Latin and international music. Mondays & Fridays, 6–7 p.m. $5. zumbathens@gmail.com

HELP OUT MLK Jr. Day of Service (Athens, GA) Community Connection spearheads a day of service in Athens.

Check website for list of volunteer projects. Jan. 21. www.handson nega.org/athensmlk Volunteers Needed (Homestead Hospice) Help patients and their families living with terminal illness.

706-548-8444, www.homestead hospice.net/volunteers.html

KIDSTUFF Arts in the Afternoon (East Athens Community Center) Afterschool program teaches arts and crafts and allows children to create original artwork. Ages 6–15.

Mondays and Wednesdays, 3:30– 5:30 p.m. FREE! 706-613-3593 Disney Night (Oconee Co. Library) Play Disney Scene-It and create trivia games. Mickey Mouse cupcakes and other treats provided.

Costumes are welcome. Jan. 30.

6–8 p.m. FREE! 706-769-3950 Kids’ Craft Classes (Treehouse Kid and Craft) Mama/Papa & Me craft class for ages 1–3 (Thursdays, 10:30 a.m. & Saturdays, 10 a.m.), Craft Club for ages 6–8 (Wednesdays, 4 p.m.) and 3–5 (Thursdays, 4 p.m.) and Family Crafterdays (Saturdays, 11 a.m.). $10/class, $30/4 classes. 706-8508226, www.treehousekidandcraft. com Nature Trading Post (Sandy Creek Nature Center) Trade one or two objects found in nature for points or other nature objects in the center’s collection. Jan. 19. 11 a.m.–12 p.m. FREE! 706-613-3615 New Mamas & Babies Group (Arrow) Meet other new parents and their pre-crawling little ones.

Caregivers Jean Anderson and Rebecca Espana host. Thursdays, 10 a.m.–12 p.m. $5, $30 (8 visits). www.ourarrow.com Out Of School Workshop: Martin Luther King Day Clay (Good Dirt) Kids can get busy on their days off by playing in the

clay. Register. Jan. 21, 9 a.m.–3 p.m. $55/day. 706-355-3161.

Out of School Workshop: Happy Valentine’s Clay (Good Dirt) Kids can get busy on their day off by playing in the clay.

Call to register. Feb. 11, 9 a.m.–3 p.m. $55/day. 706-355-3161 Pop-In Playtime (Pump It Up) Children ages 11 & under can bounce around and have a jumping good time. Wednesdays, 3:30-5:30 p.m. $3 (ages 2 & under), $6 (ages 2 & up). 706-613-5676 Second Saturday Storytime (Sandy Creek Nature Center) Hear a nature story and learn about the woods and animals. 2:30–3 p.m.

FREE! 706-613-3615 Shared Nanny Sessions (Arrow) Caregiving with a child ratio of 1 to 3. For ages 6 months–4 years. Register. Monday–Thursday, 9 a.m.–5 p.m. and Friday, 9 a.m.–1 p.m. $30–125. ourarrow@gmail. com, www.ourarrow.com Sirius Athletics Track Club (Lay Park) Kids ages 6–12 of all athletic abilities can learn sprint and distance running, relays, softball throw, shot put and high jump. Tuesdays & Thursdays, Feb. 16–May 14, 3:30–5:30 p.m. $100. www.siriusathletics.org Spanish Lessons for Tots (Arrow) Spanish lessons with music, dancing and fun surprises led by Sarah Ehlers. For ages 2.5–4 years old. Wednesdays, 11:30 a.m.–12 p.m. $10. ourarrow@gmail.com Storytime (Oconee Co. Library) Enjoy a morning of stories, songs and crafts. Every Tuesday and Wednesday, 10 & 11 a.m. FREE! 706-769-3950 Yoga Sprouts Family Yoga (Athens Five Points Yoga Studio) For children ages 2 & older with an adult. Sundays. 1–1:45 p.m. $60. yogasprouts@gmail.com, www. athensfivepointsyoga.com

SUPPORT Alcoholics Anonymous (Athens, GA) If you want to drink, that’s your business. If you want to stop, we can help. 706-389-4164, www.athensaa.com Chronic Illness Support Group (Oasis Counseling Center) Six-week group meetings for individuals dealing with severe injuries and other chronic medical conditions. One-hour intake appointment required. Every Wednesday, 1:30–3

p.m. through Feb. 27. $50 (appointment), $15/session. 706-543-3522, info@oasisconselingcenter.com Domestic Violence Support Group (Athens, GA) Tuesdays, 6–8 p.m., in Clarke County. First and Third Mondays, 6:30–8 p.m., in Madison County. Childcare provided. 706-543-3331 (hotline), 706-613-3357, ext. 771.

Emotional Abuse Support Group (Athens, GA) Demeaning behavior and hateful words can be just as harmful as punches and kicks. Childcare provided. Call for location. Every Wednesday. 6:30–8 p.m. FREE! 706-543-3331 (hotline), 706-613-3357, ext. 771.

Emotions Anonymous (Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Athens) A 12-step program.

Sundays, 4–5 p.m. 706-202-7463, www.emotionsanonymous.org

ON THE STREET Accepting Applications for Food Tester (UGA Russell Research Center) Now seeking volunteers who are in good health, have good senses of taste and smell and are non-smokers. Email sensory.lab@ars.usda.gov.

First Person Project Celebrates Stories of Love (UGA Special Collections Library) An oral history series documenting the experiences of everyday Georgians invites participants to record their stories about love.

Register. Feb. 8, 9 a.m.–4 p.m. $10.

706-542-5788, russlib@uga.edu Georgia Association of Museums and Galleries Conference (Georgia Museum of Art) The annual conference

ART AROUND TOWN A LA FERA (2440 W. Broad St.) Mixed media with naturalistic scenes by Taylor Bryant. Through January.

AMICI ITALIAN CAFÉ (233 E. Clayton St.) Musician portraits and patterns in oil and acrylics by Lauren Dellaria. Through February.

ANTIQUES & JEWELS ART GALLERY (290 N. Milledge Ave.) Paintings by Mary Porter, Christine Shockley, Dorthea Jacobson, Lana Mitchell, John Gholson, Greg Benson and Ainhoa Bilbao Canup. Art quilt by Elizabeth Barton and handmade jewelry by various artists.

ART ON THE SIDE GALLERY AND GIFTS (1011B Industrial Blvd., Watkinsville) A gallery featuring works by various artists in media including ceramics, paintings and fused glass.

ARTINI’S ART LOUNGE (296 W. Broad St.) “Out West,” photography by Nate Cook. Through Feb. 5.

ATHENS ACADEMY (1281 Spartan Lane) In the Myers Gallery, “The Spirit Show,” featuring works by Ana Anest, Barbara O’dil, Claire Dunphy, Mary Padgelek, Father Anthony Salzman, Wendy Ortel and Scott Pope. In the Bertelsmann Gallery, artwork by Gary Grossman and Stanley Bermudez. Through Feb. 22.

ATHENS FORD (4260 Atlanta Hwy., Bogart) Works by Claire Clements, Rene Shoemaker and Ally White.

Through Jan. 18.

THE BRANDED BUTCHER (225 N. Lumpkin St.) Paintings and drawings by Sanithna Phansavanh.

BROAD STREET COFFEE (1660 W. Broad St.) Silk paintings by Rene Shoemaker.

EARTH FARE (1689 S. Lumpkin St.) Artwork by Leslie Moody. Through Feb. 2.

ETIENNE BRASSERIE (311 E. Broad St.) Photography

by Ian Mcfarlane. Through February.

FARMINGTON DEPOT GALLERY (1011 Salem Rd., Farmington) Owned and staffed by 16 artists, the gallery exhibits paintings, sculpture, folk art, ceramics and fine furniture. Permanent collection artists include Tom Phillips, Larry Hamilton, Cheri Wranosky, John Weber and more.

FLICKER THEATRE & BAR (263 W. Washington St.) Paintings by Jeremy Hughes. Through January.

GALLERY@HOTEL INDIGO (500 College Ave.) “Wish” features photography by Thom Houser and Jason Thrasher, jewelry by Mary Hallam Pearse, textiles by Jennifer Crenshaw, paintings by Joshua Beinko, Claire Joyce and Margaret Morrison, and a work by the Paper Cut Project duo Nikki Nye and Amy Flurry. Through Mar. 21. • In the Glass Cube, a new piece by Martijn van Wagtendonk. Through Mar. 21.

GEORGIA MUSEUM OF ART (90 Carlton St.) “De Wain Valentine: Human Scale” features eight largescale, minimalist and translucent sculptures. Through Jan. 27. • “John Haley: Berkeley School Abstract Expressionist.” Through Mar. 3. • “Minna Citron: The Uncharted Course from Realism to Abstraction.”

Through Mar. 3. • “From Savanna to Savannah: African Art from the Collection of Don Kole. Opens Jan. 19. Through Apr. 14. • “Defiant Beauty: The Work of Chakaia Booker” consists of large-scale sculptures created from tires. Through Apr. 30.

GEORGIA MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY (East Campus Rd.) A collection of mounted game animals featuring lynxes, African leopards, Alaskan bears, water buffalo and elk, as well as live corn snakes, tarantulas and other animals.

THE GRIT (199 Prince Ave.) Artwork by Sarah Seabolt.

Through Jan. 26.

HEIRLOOM CAFE AND FRESH MARKET (815 N.

of GAMG is “Creative Spaces: Meaningful Experiences in Museums.” Register. Jan. 23–25. $110–245. www.gamg.org Mandala Journal (Athens, GA) An online, multicultural visual and literary arts journal seeking fiction, nonfiction, poetry and art submissions. Deadline is Feb. 14. mandala. uga.edu Second Annual Glee Off (Athens, GA) Glee clubs from four high schools in northeast Georgia will compete as part of a fundraiser for Children First, an advocacy group for safe, stable and nurturing living conditions for children. Prevoting is underway on YouTube. The performance with the most “likes” and monetary donations will win the People’s Choice award. Vote until Feb. 1. Performance on Feb. 2. www.childrenfirst-inc.org f

Chase St.) Drawings, paintings and prints of native Georgia flora by Hope Hilton.

HENDERSHOT’S COFFEE BAR (1560 Oglethorpe Dr.) Artwork by Sarah Cook.

IRIS PLACE (755 Epps Bridge Pkwy.) Photography of beach scenes combined with driftwood by John Weber. Through Feb. 5.

JITTERY JOE’S ALPS (1480 Baxter St.) Portrait and landscape photography by Adrina Ray. JITTERY JOE’S DOWNTOWN (297 E. Broad St.) Four pieces from the “Slaughterhouse Starlet Series”

by Keith Rein. Through January.

JUST PHO (1063 Baxter St.) Drawings and paintings

by Michele Chidester.

KRIMSON KAFE (40 Greensboro Hwy., Watkinsville) Acrylic paintings by Megan Bennett. Through February.

KUMQUAT MAE (18 Barnett Shoals Rd., Watkinsville) Oil paintings by Dortha Jacobson, who is trained in the New Hope, PA Impressionist style.

LAMAR DODD SCHOOL OF ART (270 River Rd.) “The Sorority Girl Project,” photo portraits by Kelly K. Jones. Through Feb. 7.

LOFT GALLERY AT CHOPS & HOPS (2 S. Main St., Watkinsville) Artwork by Jessica “Cobra” McVey. LYNDON HOUSE ARTS CENTER (293 Hoyt St.) “Arts from Indian Asia: Selections from Local Collections.”

Through Jan. 26.

MADISON MORGAN CULTURAL CENTER (424 S. Main St., Madison) “Consequences of War” features “Flight,” an exhibit of lithographs by 12 mid-century masters. Through Feb. 24.

MAMA’S BOY (197 Oak St.) Ink and watercolor art by Frank Registrato. Through January.

OCONEE COUNTY LIBRARY (1080 Experiment Station Rd.) Photography by Richard Fay. Through January.

OCONEE CULTURAL ARTS FOUNDATION (OCAF) (34 School St., Watkinsville) “Material Wonders” showcases works by current UGA graduate students.

Through Feb. 15.

PERK AVENUE (111. W. Jefferson St., Madison) “Point of Origin,” works by Katharine Wibell. Through March.

SEWCIAL STUDIO (160 Tracy St.) Hand-dyed art quilts by Anita Heady and rust and over-dyed fabric on canvas by Bill Heady.

SIPS ESPRESSO CAFE (1390 Prince Ave.) Paintings

by Anne Wills. Through Feb. 4.

STATE BOTANICAL GARDEN OF GEORGIA (2450 S. Milledge Ave.) “Women on Paper,” works by Lauren Kerbelis, Gail Smith, Caroline Swanson, Nancy Schultz, Karen Banker, Lillie Morris and Ingrid Hofer. Through March 3.

STRAND HAIR STUDIO (1625 S. Lumpkin St.) Unique paintings, assemblages and collages by Charley Seagraves and blown glass by Sy Dowling.

SURGERY CENTER OF ATHENS (2142 W. Broad St.) Hand-pinted silk wall hangings by Margaret Agner.

Through January.

TOWN 220 (220 W. Washington St., Madison) “Observations” includes encaustic paintings by Mary Leslie. Through Jan. 26.

UNIVERSITY OF NORTH GEORGIA OCONEE CAMPUS (1201 Bishop Farms Pkwy.) “Otros Soñadores” includes works by Stanley Bermudez, Nestor Armando Gil, Groana Melendez and Mabi Ponce. Reception Jan. 17. Through Feb. 13.

WALKER’S COFFEE AND PUB (128 College Ave.) Pastel drawings and watercolors by Ainhoa Bilbao Canup. Through January.

WHITE TIGER (217 Hiawassee Ave.) China plates featuring collages by Jasey Jones.

If y an him it w diff wit hav you bel Ou if y the

Talk About It

Talk About It

If you have a friend you think may be in an abusive relationship, talk with her or him about it. Don’t ignore the problem; If you have a friend you think may bemake in an aabusive it will not go away.

You can relationship, talk with her or him about it. Don’t ignore difference by starting a conversation with your coworker.

You don’t the problem; it willfriend not gooraway.

You can make a have be an a expert to talk about abuse, difference byto starting conversation with your friend or you just need to be a friend.

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Listen to and believe Our hotline advocates are here to help what your friend is telling you. Our hotline advocates are if you have questions about how to start here to help if you have questions about how to start the the conversation.

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706-543-3331

Hotline, 24 hours/day

Linea de crisis, las 24 horas del dia

JANUARY 16, 2013 · FLAGPOLE.COM

23

classifieds

Buy It, Sell It, Rent It, Use It! Place an ad anytime at flagpole.com  Indicates images available at flagpole.com

Real Estate Apartments for Rent 1BR basement apt. w/ windows in 5 Pts. house.

Desire quiet N/S. Private entrance; nearly new appliances. Utils., cable, wireless incl. $475/mo.

(706) 254-5474.

1, 2 & 3BR units avail. all in 5 Pts. area. Rent beginning for 1BR units at $500/mo.

2BR units begin at $700/ mo. Call (706) 546-0300 for additional info or to schedule a time to view.

1BR apartment upstairs w/ private entrance. On Hill St., 1 mi. to UGA, pets OK. Utilities incl. in $675/mo.

Call (706) 255-0726.

1BR/1BA. All elec. Nice apt.

Water provided. On bus line. Single pref. Avail now!

(706) 543-4271.

2BR apts. Tile, W/D furnished, air. Dwntn. & bus route. Security provided.

Certified references. $500/ mo. No dep. Call Louis, (706) 338-3126.

Apts. on great in–town streets. Grady & Boulevard.

Walk everywhere!

Water & garbage paid. $495–$750/mo. Check out w w w. b o u l e v a rd propertymanagement. com or call (706) 5489797.

College Station.

2BR/2BA on bus line. All appls. + W/D, FP, extra closet space, water/garbage incl. $550/mo. Owner/Agent, (706) 340-2450.

Eastside quadraplex, 2BR/2BA, $500/mo. & 2BR/1BA, $475/mo.

Eastside duplex, 2BR/1BA & FP, $525/mo. 3BR/2BA & FP, $700/mo. Call McWaters Realty, (706) 353-2700 or cell, (706) 540-1529.

flagpole classifieds Reach Over 30,000 Readers Every Week!

Business Services Real Estate Music For Sale

Employment Vehicles Messages Personals

BASIC RATES* Individual Real Estate Business (RTS) Run-‘Til-Sold** Online Only***

$10 per week $14 per week $16 per week $40 per 12 weeks $5 per week

* Ad enhancement prices are viewable at flagpole.com ** Run-‘Til-Sold rates are for MERCHANDISE ONLY *** Available for individual rate categories only

PLACE AN AD • At flagpole.com, pay with credit card or PayPal account • Call our Classifieds Dept. (706) 549-0301 • Email us at class@flagpole.com

H a l f o ff re n t 1 s t 2 mos. when you mention this ad! 2BR/2BA apts. a few blocks from Dwntn. off North Ave. Pet friendly!

Dep. only $250. Rent from $625-675/mo. incl. trash. ( 7 0 6 ) 5 4 8 - 2 5 2 2 , w w w. dovetailmanagement. com.

Prince Ave. near Daily G r o c e r y, 2 n d f l o o r, 4 huge offices w/ lobby & kitchen. Super nice. $1400/ mo. Call Cole, (706) 2022733. www.boulevard propertymanagement. com.

On the river! 1BR loft, $350/ mo. 2BR, $550/mo. Porches & decks, on 12 acres. Pets allowed. W/D incl. Call (706) 614-3252.

2BR/2BA near mall. FP, screened porch, walk-in closet. W/D, water/trash incl. Short or long term lease. Pets welcome. Super convenient! Only $800/mo.

Aaron, (706) 207-2957.

Commercial Property Chase Park Paint Artist Studios. Historic Blvd. artist community. 160 Tracy St. Rent 300 sf., $150 m o . 4 0 0 s f., $ 2 0 0 /m o .

(706) 546-1615 or www. athenstownproperties.com.

E a s t s i d e o ff i c e s , 1 0 6 0 Gaines School Rd. Rent 750 sf. $900/mo., 400 sf. $600/mo. (706) 546-1615 or athenstownproperties. com.

For sale/lease. Commercial/ residential. Huge home on busline, near campus.

2 kitchens, DR, 2LRs, 4-5BR/2BA. Lg. yard, porch. Off-street parking. $1150/mo. $399,000.

David, (706) 247-1398; Wilson, (706) 202-0948.

-?L;H9H;IJ

3 BR / 3 BA Available August

Quiet Wooded Setting on the Oconee River Granite Countertops - Some with Unfinished Basements and Garages Hamilton & Associates 706-613-9001

+ ' 3 + + 1 & 2 BR IN 5 POINTS

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Hamilton & Associates

706-613-9001 www.athens-ga-rental.com

Woodlake Scarborogh Townhomes Place 2BR/2BA Upscale Living $1,000/mo.

Available Now

3BR/2BA $975/mo.

Available Now

Hamilton & Associates 706-613-9001

• Deadline to place ads is 11:00 a.m. every Monday for the following Wednesday issue • All ads must be prepaid • Set up an account to review your placement history or replace old ads at flagpole.com

24

FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ JANUARY 16, 2013

HOUSES FOR LEASE IN CLARKE COUNTY

Call for Location and Availability.

Hamilton & Associates 706-613-9001

Condos for Rent

2BRs & studios Dwntn. across from campus and 4BR at Urban Lofts for Fall semester. 2BR a v a i l . i m m e d i a t e l y. ( 4 0 4 ) 5 5 7 - 5 2 0 3 , w w w. downtownathensrentals. weebly.com.

Gigantic 5BR/3BA. End of Lumpkin. 2500 sf. 2 LRs, huge laundry rm., DR, FP, big deck. DW, W/D, CHAC. Pets OK. Avail. 8/1. $1600/ mo. (706) 338-9173.

LOOKING FOR A PLACE TO LIVE? Turn to FLAGPOLE CLASSIFIEDS to find roommates, apartments, houses, etc. To place an ad call (706) 5490301.

Just reduced! Investor’s West-side condo.

2BR/2BA, FP, 1500 sf., great investment, lease 12 mos. at $575/mo. Price in $40s. For more info, call McWaters Realty at (706) 353-2700 or (706) 5401529.

JAMESTOWN 2BR/2.5BA Townhouse In Five Points

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750-$1000

Hamilton & Associates 706-613-9001

DUPLEXES

AVAILABLE CLARKE & OCONEE COUNTIES Call for Availability

Hamilton & Associates 706-613-9001

Duplexes For Rent 5 Pts. duplex. 2BR/1BA. Renovated, HWflrs., CHAC, W/D provided.

Across street from Memorial Park.

Extremely quiet. No pets. 9–12 mo. lease.

253 Marion Dr. $650/mo.

Graduate students & professionals preferred. w w w. r e n t a l s a t h e n s . com. Reference quad.

(706) 202-9805.

Houses for Rent 3BR/2BA house Dwntn.

Walk everywhere! W/D incl.

Fenced backyard. Pets OK. Avail 1/1/13. Short or long term lease option. Only $1000/mo. Aaron, (706) 207-2957.

3BR/2BA Victorian home, renovated. 1/2 mi. from campus. Pre-leasing.

W/D, DW, fenced yd., HW. $1700/⁣mo. Huge rms.! Lots of character. Avail. 8/1. Pets OK. (706) 338-9173.

3BR/2BA in Normaltown.

Avail. now! HWflrs., CHAC, quiet street. Grad students pref’d. Rent negotiable.

(706) 372-1505.

3BR/2BA, 2077 S. Lumpkin, $ 1 2 0 0 / m o . W / D . , D W, sec. sys. & ceiling fans.

3BR/2BA, 2071 Lumpkin, $1000/mo. incl. water, lawn maint. & garbage. W/D, DW. (706) 546-0300.

3BR/3BA house. Cool modern design, 4 porches, 1 mi. from Dwntn., off Barber St. $1300/mo. + dep., pets OK, great neighbors. Call (706) 338-0707. Avail. now! www.facebook. com/HelpUsSublet.

3BR/3BA newer houses, Dwntn. Walk everywhere!

Walk-in closets, stainless, private BA, porches, deck.

W/D incl., pre-leasing for fall. $1500/mo. Aaron, (706) 207-2957.

RIVERS EDGE

LARGE 2BR/2BA TOWNHOUSES AND FLATS

Some units include fireplaces and Washer & Dryers. $550-$600/mo. Call Today to view.

Hamilton & Associates 706-613-9001

4BR/2BA Victorian home, renovated. 1/2 mi. from campus. Pre-leasing. New kitchen, W/D, DW, fenced yd., HW. $1650/⁣mo. Huge rms.! Lots of character.

Avail. 8/1. Pets OK. (706) 338-9173.

4BR/4BA newer houses, Dwntn. Walk everywhere!

Walk-in closets, stainless, private BA, porches, deck.

W/D incl., pre-leasing for fall. $1900/mo. Aaron, (706) 207-2957.

5 Pts. 2BR/1BA. Great location. Great for grad student. Walk to campus.

W/D, CHAC, nice patio.

Pets OK. $650-$700/mo.

Avail. 8/1. Call (706) 3389173.

Awesome 3BR/2BA, close to campus. New master BA w/ double sink. HWflrs., fenced backyard. W/D, DW, CHAC. Avail. 8/1. $1200/ mo. (706) 338-9173.

Cedar Creek: 4BR/2BA, partially fenced yd., $950/ m o . 5 P t s . : O ff B a x t e r St., 4BR/2BA, $1000/ mo. Eastside: 5BR/2BA, large lot, $1000/mo. Call McWaters Realty, (706) 353-2700, (706) 540-1529.

Great 4BR/4BA house. 1/2 mi. from campus. Front porch, back deck, nice yd., DW, W/D, CHAC. Pets OK. Avail. 8/1. Special! $1550/ mo. (706) 338-9173.

Great little house near Dwntn. 3BR/1BA. LR, DR, study. HWflrs. Quiet n’hood. Eastside near Weaver D’s. $650/mo. Call Dan, (678) 643-5851.

Huge 3BR/2BA renovated Victorian house. HW, high ceilings, front porch, back deck, nice yard. Pets OK. W/D, DW, HVAC. Avail.

8/1. $1275/mo. (706) 3389173.

Lovely new house.

4BR/3BA. Half mi. to campus. Big rms., HWflrs., DW, W/D, CHAC, pets OK. Avail. 8/1. $1750/mo. Call (706) 338-9173.

Rent your properties i n F l a g p o l e Classifieds! Photos and long-term specials available.

Call (706) 549-0301!

Rent your properties i n F l a g p o l e Classifieds! Photos and long-term specials available.

Call (706) 549-0301!

Sweet house in Boulevard. Clean, fresh paint, HWflrs., W/D, HVAC, shed. Great location & neighbors. 382 Nacoochee Ave. $900/mo. nacoocheerules@gmail.com

Parking & Storage Parking places for rent across from UGA. $30/mo.

(706) 354-4261.

For Sale Miscellaneous Come to Cillies, 175 E. Clayton St. for vintage Louis Vuitton. 20% off single purchase of clothing, boots and jewelry (excl. J. Crew).

1/person.

I n s t a n t c a s h is now being paid for good vinyl records & CDs in fine condition. Wuxtr y Records, at corner of Clayton & College downtown. (706) 369-9428.

Music

Pre-Leasing

Equipment

Best rentals in Athens! 1–5BR houses, apts., condos.

In the heart of UGA/ Dwntn./5 Pts. Avail.

Aug. 1. Going fast, call today! (706) 3389173 for more info.

Nuçi’s Space needs your old instruments & music gear! All donations are taxdeductible. Call (706) 2271515 or come by Nuçi’s Space, 396 Oconee St.

Roommates 1 roommate needed to share awesome, retro house. 1 mi. from Milledge on busline. Private BR/ BA. $400/mo. includes all; Internet, W/D, etc. Lee, (404) 246-2313.

28 yr. old drummer chick n e e d s ro o m i e F e b . 1 .

2BR/1.5BA, College Ave. townhouse! $275 + util.

Fenced yard,W/D, pets OK.1/2 mi. to 40 Watt/ Arch. must be LGBT & kitty friendly! contact: rickshawismia@gmail.com. (athensga.craigslist.org/ roo/3526662169.html) Now available: Roommate needed immediately for house off Pulaski St. Screened porch, W/D. Only a 10 min. walk from Dwntn.

Only $250/mo. Calls only: (706) 548-9744.

Rooms for Rent Dashiell Cottages. Move–in, $75/wk.! (706) 8500491. Private entrance, all amenities, WiFi, long distance. Enjoy our river c o m m u n i t y, 5 b l o c k s to UGA. Enjoy wildlife observation.

Sub-lease 909 Broad St. (Dwntn.)

Sublease 2BR/2 full BA Dec.-June $1000 (less than 1BR). Available I m m e d i a t e l y ! Call (214) 205-0256.

Charming 1BR duplex in 5 Points area. Jan. rent paid.

Heat/water incl. On UGA & city buslines. Cats OK w/ dep. $525/mo. +dep. now-8/1. Call/text (484) 995-6334.

A l e s i s D M 5 e l e c t ro n i c drums, $425. Pearl piccolo snare drum, $100. Peavey EX electric hollow body guitar (ES335 copy), $200.

1960s Silvertone Acoustic, restored w/ hardshell case, $425. Ernie Ball Musicman Stingray Bass w/ gig bag, $650. Fender precision bass, deluxe (extra pick-up) w/ hardshell case, $475.

Ampeg SVT-4 bass amp, $625. Ampeg bass cabinet 4-8’s, 1-15 classic series, $400. Peavey renown (solo series) guitar amp, $180. Ibanez (left handed) a c o u s t i c , $ 8 0 . K o re a n Fender Strat (cream), $250.

Johnson wedge monitor, $100. Peavey IPR 1600 power amp & Behringer mixer, $360. Pair of Peavey SP2G’s, $600. Call (706) 296-4034 & ask for Andrew.

Instruction Athens School of Music. Instruction in guitar, bass, drums, piano, voice, brass, woodwinds, strings, banjo, mandolin, fiddle & more. From beginner to expert. Instrument repairs avail. Visit www.

AthensSchoolofMusic.com, (706) 543-5800.

Guitar lessons! From Bach to rock. Learn t o p l a y f ro m a m u s i c a l Doc. Beginners welcome. Bass, theor y, composition. 1st lesson free. David, (706) 5467082. davidguitar4109@ h o t m a i l . c o m . w w w. mitchellmusicguitar.com.

Music Go Round buys musical instruments & equipment every day!

Guitars, cymbals, basses, banjos, microphones & more. (770) 931-9190, www. musicgoroundlilburn.com.

Huge, online inventor y.

We love trades! Come visit us soon... we’re open everyday!

Music Services Fret Shop. Professional guitar repairs & modifications, setups, electronics, precision fretwork. Previous clients incl. R.E.M., Widespread Panic, Cracker, Bob Mould, John Berry, Abbey Road Live!, Squat. (706) 5491567.

Wedding bands. Quality, professional bands.

Weddings, parties. Rock, jazz, etc. Call Classic City Entertainment. ( 7 0 6 ) 5 4 9 - 1 5 6 7 . w w w. classiccityentertainment. com. Featuring The Magictones - Athens’ premiere wedding & party band. www.themagictones. com.

Services Cleaning

Jobs Full-time A t h e n s Te c h n i c a l College seeks a web developer. Completion of an associate’s degree/ diploma in computer science, information t e c h n o l o g y, i n t e r n e t t e c h n o l o g y, o r c l o s e l y related IT field is req’d. Visit www.athenstech.edu to apply!

Health Flagpole Classifieds now lists yoga classes!

Let your yogis know exactly what kind of yoga you offer and when and where you teach your classes. Visit classifieds.flagpole.com or call the office at (706) 5490301.

Misc. Services College guys avail. for work. Painting inside or out, maintenance & cleaning, driving, carpet cleaning, errands, yard work. You name it, we do it! 706-8500491.

Now Hiring. Herschel’s Famous 34 Pub & Grill. If you’re friendly & outgoing, we want you! Now accepting applications for the following positions: exp. cooks/prep cooks, bartenders, food servers, hostesses, bussers, cleaning staff. Contact Ashley: ashley@herschels famous34pubandgrill. com, (706) 353-0334.

Join the famed Herschel Wa l k e r & b e p a r t o f a winning team!

Jobs Wanted

Spa The Spa at Foundry Park Inn is currently searching for excellent Master Cosmetologists, Estheticians and Nail Technicians. To apply, visit us at www.foundryparkinn. com/careers.

F a n t a s y Wo r l d ! H i r i n g private lingerie models. No exp. necessary. We train.

Flexible scheduling. Call (706) 613-8986 or visit 1050 Baxter St., Athens.

Part-time

NEWLY RENOVATED APARTMENTS

Located on Broad & Clayton Streets

PRELEASE NOW for Fall 2013!

Live across from the UGA Arch & above your favorite downtown hangouts!

706-613-2742

When you buy from local independent businesses, you are helping keep your favorite Local Athens establishments open and are contributing to the vitality of the Athens economy.

J’s Bottle Shop is seeking a full time sales person & cashier. Knowledge of field & experience required.

B r i n g re s u m e t o 1 4 5 2 Prince Ave.

Nice, Christian lady in her 40s seeking a job as a n a n n y. E x p e r i e n c e d , reasonable rates.

References avail. Safety & well-being, #1 priority.

Dwntn., Normaltown, GA S q . M a l l a re a s . L e a v e message for Emily Newton.

(706) 316-3990.

Tr y i n g t o g e t y o u r personal business off the ground? Advertise in the Flagpole Classifieds! Only $16 for 1 week & $48 for 4 weeks! Call 706-5490301.

USE US or LOS E US

FT or PT hair stylist position at Rocket Salon. Fun, laid back. Must have GA license. Commission. Apply in person or at rocketsalon@ gmail.com.

Local property management company looking for manager. Must have 2 yrs. experience in real estate industry. Must be sales & service driven, organized & self-motivated. Please email resume to cgbarks@ bellsouth.net.

Home cleaning.

Earth & pet friendly.

Easy on the budget.

Text/call Nick, (706) 851-9087. Follow m e o n Tw i t t e r @ homeathens.

ATHENS LOCAL BUSINESSES:

www.FredsHP.com

Follow Buy Local Athens on Facebook and email us at athensbuylocal@gmail.com to join the We Are Athens organization.

Week of 1/14/13 - 1/20/13

The Weekly Crossword 1

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ACROSS 1 Make a 51 With regard to 52 Like horror films reservation 5 Highest point 53 Sailing vessel 9 Store window 55 Blockhead 57 Charleston colsign lege, with "The" 13 Atop 14 Fats Domino hit, 61 Batch of laundry "Ain't That a 62 Gunpowder _____" ingredient 16 Meter reading 64 Cancellation 17 Kick back 65 Altar area 18 Class attendee 66 Shorten, in a 19 Fiber-yielding way plant 67 Cut out, as 20 Hemophiliac coupons 22 Pragmatic one 68 MGD, e.g.

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58 Kewpie, for one 59 Protection: var.

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Crossword puzzle answers are available at www.flagpole.com/news/crossword

JANUARY 16, 2013 · FLAGPOLE.COM

25

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comics

reality check Matters Of The Heart And Loins Here’s the deal… I have a friend at work who I think is super awesome and smart and talented. Her boyfriend, however, appears to be none of these things. I consider her my friend, and we do hang out outside of work sometimes, but I wouldn’t say we’re very close. Some of my other coworkers and I have discussed what an ass her boyfriend is. He works for the same company but in another department. He seems to be one of those people who has no real talent or interests of his own and so just criticizes all of his girlfriend’s considerable talent. Whenever I see them together, he’s putting down a project she’s worked really hard on, or undermining her job by suggesting she do something a different way, even though he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

I really think she’s way too good for this guy, but I’m not sure how/if I should say anything to her. She’s in her early-ish 20s, and I think she’s been dating this guy since high school. I don’t want to stick my nose where it doesn’t belong, but I’m afraid she’ll end up with this guy by default because she’s too timid to break up with him and find someone better or be by herself. She’s a very cute and funny person, and I think she deserves better. Should I say something or just let things take their course?

Concerned Coworker If you are actually friends with this woman, then I suppose there is no harm in simply stating your opinion. Maybe she is just insecure and no one has ever told her how great and smart and talented she is, so she stays with this jerkface out of habit or fear of being alone. The thing is, you are obviously into her, so if you say these things with the expectation that she will leave him for you, you may be making a huge mistake. She may think you’re being really nice, and she may even take your advice and ditch him. Thing is, she might just think that you should mind your own damned business and stop insulting the man she loves.

If you are willing to take the risk, then go for it. But you may lose her friendship if you do. On the other hand, being around people who don’t treat her like crap might have her coming to her own conclusions about what she deserves and what real relationships are like. You’ve heard the phrase “Show, don’t tell”? Maybe you can just show her how non-assholes behave and she’ll come around on her own.

So, my buddy started seeing this girl a few months ago. At first, I didn’t think much of it because he never really gets too serious about girls and dating and stuff. I have known this girl for a long time, we come from the same hometown, and she used to date one of my

brother’s friends back at home. Well, she’s kind of a slut. She got a bad reputation early on, and it seems like she just kind of decided to go whole hog and throw it in everybody’s face, so she just kind of jumped from guy to guy for a couple years. Granted, this was several years ago. We’re all in our late 20s now, but still.

So, they started hanging out, and he mentioned that she was from my hometown and asked if I knew her; I said I did, but not that well. Like I said, I didn’t think it made much difference because I thought he’d get bored with her after a few dates, but he didn’t. Also I’m not the type of guy to go spreading gossip from that long ago. Thing is, when she dated my brother’s friend, she cheated on him and then she got engaged to the guy she left him for. I guess they never got married, but I know she cheated on that guy, too.

So, now my good buddy is dating her and he seems like he is actually pretty serious about it, like calling her his girlfriend and saying stuff like “I think I could actually get to know this girl.” This may sound ridiculous to you, but that’s about as serious as I have ever heard him talk. He’s always going out with different girls, but never for long. There are plenty of my friends who have tried to be his girlfriend, and he always blows them off. So, I guess I’m worried that he might actually get hurt here. And if he finds out what I know and finds out that I didn’t tell him, he will probably be really pissed at me. What should I do? I really don’t want to get involved, but I don’t want to be an asshole to him either.

On the Fence I think you should let it go. Like you said, her reputation was built a long time ago, and you don’t know what she is like now. In fact, it’s likely that half of the escapades you heard about are total bullshit anyway.

And if not, then perhaps a reformed slut is just the medicine your slutty friend needs? (I note that you never used that word to describe him, though the behavior you describe certainly seems to merit the label. I’m not gonna go all batshit feminist on you, because you seem like a nice enough guy, but please think on that for a minute, won’t you?)

You can’t assume that her behavior from over a decade ago reflects the person she is today. If you’re worried, you can always have a private chat with her. I’m sure she is aware that you must know of her former reputation. She will probably be grateful to you for not gossiping to your friend, and you can let her know that as long as her intentions are good, you’ll keep your mouth shut.

Jyl Inov Got a question for Jyl? Submit your anonymous inquiry via Reality Check at flagpole.com.

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