Flame Magazine Feb 2014

//SOUND CHECK

DRIVING SOLO: OUT ARTIST CHASES LOVE //AT THE MOVIES WITH DOROTHY

LABOR DAY //FAVORITE BITCH速

ADVICE FOR CHEATERS //THE WORLD ACCORDING TO JOAN

PRODUCT PLACEMENT 2.0 //BECOME WHO YOU ARE

COMBATTING THE ANTI-GAY WEB PRESENCE HURTS MORE THAN HELPS

The Necto Pride Crew MICHAEL, DEREK, & JACOB

//PUBLISHER Peter Rayes PETER@FLAME-MAG.COM //MANAGING EDITOR Austin VanKirk AUSTIN@FLAME-MAG.COM //ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Dorothy “Joan” Stevenson JOAN@FLAME-MAG.COM //ART DIRECTOR Paige Hake //LOCAL ADVERTISING Peter Rayes ADVERTISING@FLAME-MAG.COM //NATIONAL ADVERTISING Rivendell Media 212-242-6863 SALES@RIVENDELLMEDIA.COM //PHOTOGRAPHERS Ricardo DuPerron Alejandro Garza DWS Photography Murray Grondin Claudia Ham Tony Lowe Al Shimmary //CONTRIBUTORS Jason Burtt Trent Davis Jai Ferrick Joseph Gerbino Jim O’Connoll Steven Palmer Tyler Ricardi Ed Sikov Joan Stevenson Jason Salerno Miss Tiger Jeremy Sanders //GRAPHIC DESIGN PR Solutions //WEB DEVELOPMENT PR Solutions INFO@THEPRSITE.NET 4//

FEBRUARY 2014

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CONTENTS

FEBRUARY 2014

//08

DRIVING SOLO: OUT ARTIST CHASES LOVE In his book, The Memoirs of Angel King, Raph Solo detailed his personal journey towards self-acceptance, revealing a failed attempt at re-orientating his homosexuality through reparative therapy. This month, he tells his story through song...

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NECTO PRIDE CREW MICHAEL, DEREK, & JACOB PHOTO BY TONY LOWE

This month Flame features the Ann Arbor-based Pride Crew, hosted by Pride Fridays at Necto. On a photo assignment in December, I had the privilege to encounter two of these three fine gentlemen at the nightclub while they were promoting a photo opportunity with Santa and his helpers...

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LABOR DAY

CHEATERS WHO NEED ADVICE

PRODUCT PLACEMENT 2.0

FAVORITE BITCH®

THE WORLD ACCORDING TO JOAN

Hi, babies! It’s my first month and quite evident that I needed to sashay my ass into Detroit. People with problems have been blowin’ my inbox up more than a Rentboy’s cell phone at 2 am! Let’s get down to business, shall we? While I do appreciate those seeking advice on what to do about their misfit best friends...

I was recently made aware of something that really, really bothers me. Remember a while back when I was talking about product placement, the practice of companies in conjunction with TV show producers putting their products discreetly and sometimes not so discreetly in to the programs...

COMBATTING THE ANTI-GAY WEB PRESENCE HURTS MORE THAN HELPS

AT THE MOVIES WITH DOROTHY It’s 1987 rural New England. A young divorced mother, Adele, and her 13-year-old son, Henry, live alone.

Practically a recluse and severely depressed, Adele relies on the help of her son to cope. One day during a rare shopping trip into town to pick up supplies, Henry is approached by a wounded man, Frank, who gently, but persistently pressures him and Adele into giving him a ride. The two take Frank to their home...

BECOME WHO YOU ARE Even though, for the most part, I don’t like confrontation, there are a few hot-button topics that I will gladly argue until the opposition is blue in the face. Two of the forefront topics are LGBT rights and religion...

FEBRUARY 2014

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FLAME // SOUND CHECK

DRIVING SOLO OUT ARTIST CHASES LOVE written by: Jeremy Sanders

In his book, The Memoirs of Angel King, Raph Solo detailed his personal journey towards self-acceptance, revealing a failed attempt at re-orientating his homosexuality through reparative therapy. This month, he tells his story through song with the release of his pop album, Am I Too Much?

The songs reflect Solo’s search for love and his desire to settle down with a man. In “Glass of Wine,” the album’s first single, he sings about finding peace and celebrating himself as a man.

In other songs like “Lonely Playboy” and “Brief Encounter,” he tackles issues like safe sex and religion, and examines his own personal experiences with open relationships and onenight stands.

“I WANTED TO MAKE A RECORD I COULD IDENTIFY WITH THAT SHINED ON MY REALITY AS I KNOW IT. IT’S AN AUTHENTIC PIECE OF WORK,” HE SAYS. AM I TOO MUCH IS AVAILABLE ON ITUNES NOW.

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FEBRUARY 2014

You named your album Am I Too Much? So I ask you, are you too much? Are you too much man for guys to handle?

(Laughing) I was told by a guy I used to date that I am. In my defense, I was younger at the time. I would show up on dates wearing all white from head to toe. He hated that, but it was summer! Am I too much? Yes, I suppose I am. I love too much. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not. Either way, it’s how I am.

Do you demand too much from relationships?

I am pretty laid back about a lot of things except the core values of what a relationship is about. I am pretty headstrong in that respect. I like to keep it real. I don’t take the guy I am with for granted, so I don’t want to be taken for granted either.

I can show a guy a really good time in a relationship if he knows what he wants.

In “It’s Not Gonna Work 4 Me!” you sing about dumping your lover for wanting an open relationship. Why are open relations not for you?

I can only speak for myself and what works for me. For me, personally, the purpose of a relationship is about wanting to be together with a special someone. If the guy I am seeing wants to be with someone else, then he should go and be with that someone else. It’s just how I feel at this point in time. I also never commit myself to a relationship until I feel that I can offer the same.

In “When Pop Met Porn,” you open up about dating a gay porn star. How did you accept your man having sex with other men on film?

He was a former porn star when we met so he wasn’t having sex with other people while we were dating. I am not a judgmental person. I can accept that a guy lived a life before he entered mine. It was part of who he was and I loved him as a whole. I only take a stance when a person’s actions affect me directly.

Several of your tracks reflect a desire to settle down. Are you done with partying?

I love to party. By settle down, I mean finding one person I can party with. I am always going to be a party animal.

In your book, you wrote about having a hard time accepting your homosexuality. Where are you with that these days?

At the moment, I’m in a really good place.

Will finding the perfect man complete the puzzle?

I used to think love was this thing outside of me that I had to find in someone else. I don’t feel that way anymore. Now I know love is inside. I already have it and it’s mine to give to someone else. It would be great to share my life with someone, but if I never find that person, I will still continue to live my life with love.

Describe your perfect man.

He would make me feel I am enough for him and he would be a man I feel is enough for me. On a physical level, I tend to be attracted to guys who are in good shape and are upbeat and lead a healthy lifestyle. On a personality level, I like guys who are optimistic about life and who are giving. Of course,

chemistry plays a very important role too.

What annoying habit do you have that your man will have to accept?

I worry obsessively about the future, but I’m working on that! I’m learning to enjoy the present moments and cross whatever bridges lay ahead when I get to them.

What if your perfect man is not a music lover? Or what if he doesn’t love your music? Is that a deal breaker?

My perfect man doesn’t have to love my music. It would be nice if he did because then we could share a common interest. I would hope that he at least took an interest to find out why I loved music and what it meant to me. Music is a big part of who I am.

Would you date a fan?

I dated someone who was a bit of a fan. I can tell you the novelty wears off after a few times out. Then it’s about if they like who I am as a person. Guys often have a different perspective on me when they meet me in person than when they hear records or see me in a music video. I have been told I am a lot more chilled than they imagined. I guess that’s a compliment.

What do you hope fans take away from your new album?

I want people to come away from the album feeling like they know me a little better. As if I was your boyfriend or your friend, or if we just had a brief encounter together. // Visit www.raphsolo.com

FEBRUARY 2014

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FLAME // AT THE MOVIES WITH DOROTHY

LABOR DAY “IF YOU HAVE A PENCHANT FOR THE HALLMARK/LIFETIME CHANNEL TYPE OF MOVIE, LABOR DAY IS JUST WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING FOR.”

IN THEATERS JAN. 31, 2014 RATING: 4/5 STARS written by: Dorothy “Joan” Stevenson

Kate Winslet // ADELE WHEELER Josh Brolin // FRANK CHAMBERS Gattlin Griffith // HENRY WHEELER Tobey Maguire // OLDER HENRY WHEELER Clark Gregg // GERALD

It’s 1987 rural New England. A young divorced mother, Adele, and her 13-year-old son, Henry, live alone. Practically a recluse and severely depressed, Adele relies on the help of her son to cope. One day during a rare shopping trip into town to pick up supplies, Henry is approached by a wounded man, Frank, who gently, but persistently pressures him and Adele into giving him a ride. The two take Frank to their home, where he reveals he is an escaped prisoner. He injured himself escaping from the hospital where he was admitted for a procedure, so he needs to hide out for a few hours until he can move on. Adele and Henry are fearful, but Frank, although he seems slightly menacing, does not seem immediately dangerous.

Frank initially was going to move on the next morning, but somehow he ends up staying with Adele and Henry for five days, becoming the surrogate husband and father they both have needed. Frank takes to handiwork around the house, changing the oil in the car, rebuilding stonework, and waxing the floors. He even shows them how to bake a peach pie. Adele’s loneliness and depression stemming from the break up of her marriage has been deep, and at times, physically debilitating.

She is afraid of being out in public and has occasional nervous tremors that keep her from performing the smallest of tasks.

She has been bereft for a long time. Hank has been there to support and care for his mother, but he realizes that she needs a level of companionship that he cannot provide. Frank is a convicted murderer, yet a gentle, strong man who’s had a long denied need to connect. Somehow all three of them bond over the course of a few days.

The manhunt for Frank is slowly closing in, and they realize that their time is very fleeting. They decide to take steps to keep their makeshift family together, but will their plan succeed before they are found out?

Labor Day has all the tension of a thriller, but the sentiment of a Hallmark Channel movie. That’s not anything against it if you like Hallmark Channel movies. It is quite heartfelt and grounded.

Kate Winslet’s portrayal of Adele, a woman haunted by the sadness of several miscarriages and subsequent breakup of her marriage, is heartbreaking. She seems so fragile, yet there is an underlying thread of strength especially where her son is concerned.

Josh Brolin’s Frank is a convicted murder whose backstory is told in flashbacks throughout the film. The reasons for his incarceration are accidental and very unfortunate. He is not a violent or abusive man. He is haunted by what he did, and it has left a profound sadness within him as well. Even though he could be a potential threat to Henry and Adele, you can feel his longing for what he thought he once had in his life: a family.

Newcomer Gattlin Griffith, Henry, longs for a father figure to replace the father who walked out on him and his mother. Wise beyond his thirteen years, he understands that somehow this seemingly impossible situation could possibly be what he and his mother have needed. These three people all seem to heal each other, and you’re rooting for them every step of the way.

Labor Day is truly a tearjerker melodrama if ever there was one. I don’t say that mockingly. Every once in a while you need a good tearjerker melodrama, and this is a good one. This is a very touching film that plays on your emotions like a violin, but leaves you satisfied in the end. If you have a penchant for the Hallmark/Lifetime channel type of movie, Labor Day is just what you’re looking for. //

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FEBRUARY 2014

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MICHAEL, DEREK, & JACOB written by: Austin VanKirk / photos by: Tony Lowe

This month Flame features the Ann Arbor-based Pride Crew, hosted by Pride Fridays at Necto. On a photo assignment in December, I had the privilege to encounter two of these three fine gentlemen at the nightclub while they were promoting a photo opportunity with Santa and his helpers. They invited me to sit on Santa’s lap to tell him what I wanted for Christmas.

Seeing his helpers in their red spandex shorts and green suspenders was truly gift enough, so I politely declined the offer. However, little did I know that this encounter would turn into a Flame cover featuring Derek Hazard, Jacob Bojarski, and the latest addition to the crew, Michael Myrand. Recently I was able to chat with Hazard about the group, and am excited to present here now the Pride Crew to our readers.

“THE FUNNIEST MOMENT I CAN THINK OF IS DURING THE CHRISTMAS PARTY. MICHAEL RIPPED THE CROTCH OF HIS TINY RED SHORTS. THANKFULLY NOTHING WAS EXPOSED, BUT THE LOOK ON HIS FACE WAS PRICELESS.”

FEBRUARY 2014

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FLAME // FEATURE: THE NECTO PRIDE CREW To begin, would you be able to tell me a little more about the Pride Crew. What are some of the things that your group does, both for Necto and the greater LGBT community in Metro Detroit?

Derek: The Pride Crew’s primary function at Necto is to entertain the crowd. We also work to ensure that our patrons are having fun. I’ve always found that gay and bisexual men enjoy a little male eye candy. Our lesbian and transgender friends tend to enjoy our boisterous and jovial spirit!

Our group has not existed for a great deal of time, and as such, our collective participation in the greater LGBT community has been limited. The best example I can think of would be performing in the Motor City Pride parade last year.

How did each of you become a part of the Pride Crew? Was there some sort of application process or was it simpler than that?

Derek: There was no clear plan at first for the formation of the Pride Crew. It started when Necto did an Easter event last year. At the time I was living with DJ Jace, one of our house DJs, and became a weekly regular at Necto.

You tend to get to know the staff when you’re there that often. An idea was pitched that Necto should have sexy “Easter bunnies” for the Easter event and my name was suggested along with Jacob Bojarski, Alex Justice, and Jonathan Horton. Patrons seemed to enjoy our presence and the crew has participated in multiple events since.

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FEBRUARY 2014

Its composition has varied in that time. Michael joined us back in September for Necto’s annual Back to School event.

I know that I can see you guys at Necto on Fridays, but do you ever venture out to other events in the Metro area? Can we expect to see you at Motor City Pride this year or other community events?

Derek: I go out from time to time in Detroit, but not very often. Graduate school keeps me very busy. You can usually find me at Pronto or Gigi’s in that rare event. You can definitely expect to see the Pride Crew at Motor City Pride this year! We will be in the parade and around the festival.

Apart from your work with the Pride Crew, are there other activities you participate in when it comes to the Community?

Derek: The most recent event I participated in, aside from Motor City Pride, was helping set up and tear down the Color Me Rad race last spring. The race benefited World AIDS Day Detroit.

Necto frequently has themed parties on Pride Fridays for its customers. How involved are you three in the preparation and planning for those?

Derek: Christine Kitora generally plans the events at Necto. She informs me of the theme and asks for my opinions, and then I put together appropriate outfits of the Pride Crew to wear that evening. I suppose you could describe me as head gogo boy.

Are there any forthcoming parties or events that you can tell us about that you are all particularly looking forward to?

Derek: There are a couple of events in the works. The first is on Valentine’s Day. The Pride Crew will be dressed up as naughty cherubs and hopefully stirring up romances.

The second event will have a spring theme. The details are forthcoming.

Insofar, what has been your favorite event you attended as a member of the Pride Crew?

Derek: My favorite was Boys of Summer 2013. Only Alex Justice and I were working, but the crowd was phenomenal. Michael Myrand was also there. He was the winner of the Boys of Summer contest. This was of course before he started working with us. I wouldn’t want to give the appearance of nepotism.

What has been the most interesting or amusing occurrence that happened while working with the Pride Crew? I’m assuming that you’ll agree it was when you met and had your photo taken by me at the Necto Christmas Party, but please feel free to share something else.

Derek: The funniest moment I can think of is during the Christmas party. Michael ripped the crotch of his tiny red shorts. Thankfully nothing was exposed, but the look on his face was priceless.

How has being in the Pride Crew affected your life? Have you been recognized outside of the bars?

Derek: I would not say it has affected my day-to-day life.

There were a couple people that recognized me at other bars and on Grindr, but I haven’t hired a bouncer yet.

Do you all hang out together outside of the Pride Crew or is your relationship mostly professional?

Derek: We are all pretty good friends. It’s always great fun (and maybe a little mischief) when we get to spend time together. Jacob and I attend the same university, so we run into each other at the recreation center. Michael, hairstylist to the stars, keeps my hair looking great, so at the very least I see him every four to five weeks.

Let’s say I lost four inches from my waistline and added the same number to the circumference of my biceps. Would I be able to join the Pride Crew? Are you looking to add new members any time soon?

Derek: We are not currently seeking new members, but if you are interested, email info@thenecto.com for an application.

I’d like to be more informed about where and when I’d be able to see you all next—I’m sure many of our readers would as well. Does the Pride Crew have a Facebook page or Twitter that we can follow to get updates on your upcoming activities?

Derek: Yes, on Facebook you can like the Necto Pride page (facebook.com/pridenecto), which will update you on all Pride Friday events including the Pride Crew. You can also follow the @Necto handle on Twitter. //

FEBRUARY 2014

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FLAME // FAVORITE BITCH®

Hi, babies! It’s my first month and quite evident that I needed to sashay my ass into Detroit. People with problems have been blowin’ my inbox up more than a Rentboy’s cell phone at 2 am! Let’s get down to business, shall we? While I do appreciate those seeking advice on what to do about their misfit best friends, or the roommates from hell that fucked their men and moved out in the middle of the night owing back rent, it’s the relationship woes that are the most fun! This month, let’s take a look at a few cheaters who are definitely in need of some good advice. You know they came to the right place, hunty!

DEAR MISS TIGER,

DEAR MISS TIGER,

I’m sure you get off at the fact that he’s married. You know you’re bragging to all your friends about the ‘straight’ dick you’ve been riding. I’m also confident in saying that you feel absolutely grand in the role as mistress.

My partner and I have been together for nine years. We bought a condo and now I’m regretting that decision. Our very gay next-door neighbor is tearing our marriage apart! He takes advantage of the fact that my husband works in construction and constantly asks him over for help with repairs. When my husband returns home, he smells as if he’s just showered.

Should I ask him if they’re having an affair?

—Carlos DEAR YOUR WHORING NEIGHBOR CAN ONLY TEAR APART WHAT’S ALREADY BROKEN, Let me tell you something, boo. Do you really have to ask what you and I already know? The only fucking thing your man is working on next door is the plumbing . . . more specifically, the pipe between your neighbor’s fucking legs.

It looks like his 7 year itch came two years late—let’s hope that “itch” doesn’t spread into a nasty rash that has all three of you motha fuckahs down at the free clinic!

—Patrick DEAR TIPS FOR FUCKING A POLITICIAN OR PREACHER WHO’S ON THE DOWN LOW, This bullshit is another case of a man wanting to have his cake and eat it too. Literally. So, bend the fuck over and serve that son of a bitch another slice.

Now that all this chaos has caught up with you, you’ve come looking for sympathy disguised as advice. If you wanted someone to feel sorry for ya, then you should’ve picked up a local paper and written Dear Abby and not Miss Tiger.

P.S. Next time you deep throat your man’s cock, just try and get use to the taste of wifey’s pussy, ‘cause he’s not about to leave her to come and play house with you! // NEED ADVICE? WRITE ME OR ASK YOUR QUESTIONS DURING THE DEREK AND ROMAINE SHOW ON SIRIUSXM OUTQ CHANNEL 109—FEBRUARY 10TH 9PM ET. ITS FAVORITE BITCH . . . LIVE AND READY FOR BULLSHIT!

DEAR MISS TIGER,

MISS TIGER

My boyfriend is fucking my twin brother. Tell me what to do!

ADVICE COLUMNIST • SIRIUSXM RADIO PERSONALITY ... AND EVERYONE’S #FAVORITEBITCH!

—Matt DEAR WHY YA MAD BECAUSE I THOUGHT TWINS SHARED EVERYTHING, If YOU had known what to do, as in how to pick a man worth keeping, your ass wouldn’t be in this situation.

Let’s see . . . it looks like you’re the gum that lost its flavor, so now your man’s chewin’ on a new piece. Darling, when somebody wants new dick, there really ain’t shit you can do about it, other than let them go and get it. Well, maybe there’s one more thing you can do ... cut the bastard on the way out!

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I’m having an affair with a married man. I used to be okay with our arrangement but now I’m in love with him. I should also tell you I’m gay. How do I ask him to leave his wife?

FEBRUARY 2014

WEBSITE: FAVORITEBITCH.COM TWITTER: @MISSTIGER ADVICE: ASK@MISSTIGER.COM

FLAME // THE WORLD ACCORDING TO JOAN

PRODUCT PLACEMENT 2.0 written by: Joan Stevenson I was recently made aware of something that really, really bothers me. Remember a while back when I was talking about product placement, the practice of companies in conjunction with TV show producers putting their products discreetly and sometimes not so discreetly in to the programs that you watch? Well something new has been added, literally! Now instead of just physical, actual placement, products can be digitally inserted into a program.

We all fast-forward or skip through commercials when we can, but now a company called Mirriad has come up with a way to seamlessly incorporate products into programs that were never there before. Products can be digitally inserted into the programs that you have been watching.

A few weeks ago, Mirriad’s Non-Executive Chairman Roger Faxon appeared on Fox Business extolling the virtues of what his company can do to put products into programing: “People are finding ways to avoid paying attention to advertising, and advertising is the critical ingredient in bringing great content to consumers. What Mirriad has done is to find a way to bring great brands and content together by creating a logical and seamless integration of brands into great content.”

“Advertising is the critical ingredient in bringing great content to consumers”, meaning it’s because of the commercials that you have great programs. If that’s true, how messed up is that? Because of what someone wants to sell, that’s the reason we have television programs? That logic is flawed, but the implications of what Mirriad can do is kind of frightening.

Mirriad can take the footage of what you’re watching and change anything in the frame of what you’re seeing: props, backgrounds, surfaces. For example, you’re watching a rerun and all of a sudden you notice that something is not quite right with an item that an actor may be using because the first time you saw the program you could swear they were drinking an ordinary glass of water instead of a can of Pepsi. Mirriad’s tagline reads “Advertising For the Skip Generation.”

In Mirriad’s introduction video on their website they show a variety of ways that their product placement works. They show examples of how the images you see have been digitally manipulated to insert or replace the objects that are already there. Logos and products are changed. In the case of one clip from the show “Hannibal,” there’s a scene where a car is changed from a Bentley to a Mitsubishi. In another instance with an episode of “White Collar,” the characters walk by a seemingly nondescript building, but in the rebroadcast that nondescript building is now a Subway restaurant (our old friend Subway).

Mirriad says this increases brand awareness, intent to purchase, and product sentiment. I think it’s just basic subliminal advertising. You can be continually bombarded with images and impressions of products and never know. Even if it’s in the background, your eyes have seen it, even fleetingly.

If you do see it, your brain is still perceiving it so you are being

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affected by it on some level.

On their website they pitch, “Mirriad is the cure for ad blindness.” It’s because they take away your choice not to watch commercials by making the program you’re watching one long billboard. I’m not sure that I like this at all. So that means we can be out and out manipulated by whomever is paying for it that day, and that content can and probably will change with each time you view the episode.

Fox, Viacom, Discovery Channel, E!, Yahoo, Sony, Pepsico, Coca-Cola, Lexus, Dove, Dyson, Nestle, Samsung, Fruit Of The Loom, and Olay, are just some of Mirriad’s clients.

Mirriad draws up a presentation package with comprehensive analytics and summary reports with stats of how long the placement lasts and duration of screen and number of single instances all drawn up for the client, giving the client precise instances where and how the product can be placed in scenes. The brand and content creator has total control over how product is used or placed.

Maybe it’s just me feeling a little paranoid, but if this becomes standard acceptable practice in the future, who’s to say that this will stop with just product placement? Who’s to say that in the future any type of messages or images can be seamlessly integrated into our programing? This angers me and also scares me a little. This is tantamount to brainwashing, pure and simple. Who’s to say that they can’t also manipulate images of the actors we see as well? (Mirriad can also do that). They can change the appearance of anything so how can you trust what you see? If we have to have product placement, (and I guess we do, unfortunately) I prefer it to be the old fashioned way of actually putting the real product in the scene. At least that way there’s a sense of legitimacy.

Otherwise something just feels so creepy and wrong about the way Mirriad is conducting their business.

If you would like to see what Mirriad does, go to their website: http://www.mirriad.com/. To see the Fox Business interview with Mirriad’s Chairman, visit http://video.foxbusiness. com/v/2990995918001/digital-ads-for-the-skip-generation/ This may totally change the way you think about television and advertising. //

FLAME // BECOME WHO YOU ARE

COMBATTING THE ANTI-GAY WEB PRESENCE HURTS MORE THAN HELPS written by: Austin VanKirk

Even though, for the most part, I don’t like confrontation, there are a few hot-button topics that I will gladly argue until the opposition is blue in the face. Two of the forefront topics are LGBT rights and religion, particularly Christianity. Too often though, do those two topics overlap. When they do, I am doubly compelled to speak my mind and unleash my full fury. For instance, I’ll be minding my own business, scrolling through my newsfeed or just browsing the web, and I’ll come across something appallingly ignorant like, “Man goes on hunger strike until same-sex marriage licenses are repealed in Utah, claims his religious freedoms are being violated.” With great restraint, I am not going to touch upon this subject. I’ve another axe to grind.

Just the other day, I came across the blog of some evangelical adversary of intelligence and equality. The particular post I read was filled with Leviticus and Romans quotes—the nowcliché weapons of choice for such members of the Ignorati. I began to fill with bile upon reading the blogger’s words that

“MAN GOES ON HUNGER STRIKE UNTIL SAME-SEX MARRIAGE LICENSES ARE REPEALED IN UTAH, CLAIMS RELIGIOUS FREEDOMS ARE BEING VIOLATED.”

were aligned with neither logic nor any sense of universal morality. I scrolled down to find the entry field where I could leave a comment, ready to tear into that misguided child of a half-breed morality. I discovered there to already be one hundred or so comments present. After a scrolling glance, I could see that the opinions were mixed. Some were equal to the blog’s author in lack of thought and understanding of the law and world, others were of the condemning nature filled with even more outrage at the post than what I was bearing.

I paused to read some of them, clicking “like” on the ones (both Christian- and atheist-based) that I felt made compelling arguments.

I continued on like this maybe for a minute or two until I realized how many comments there really were. I got to thinking, what good would my small burst of wrath really do?

This led to yet another thought: “Why am I even reading this moron’s blog?”

After even further pondering, I’ve concluded that it’d been best if I had not engaged in this dude’s blog at all. I doubt that this particular blogger would take the time to read all of the comments, let alone mine. I doubt he’s noticed the “like” I gave to the other comments. It seems to me that all I had, or would have, succeeded in doing is to raise the engagement metrics of that blog. Working in online development, I know that higher engagement metrics means more appearances in search results, more visits, more clicks, more advertisement impressions, and potentially more money for the blogger— which would only encourage the author to write even more nonsense. Weighing the small benefit my comment and visit to the blog would create against the potential promotion of this blogger’s twisted dogma, it doesn’t seem worth it.

I think the best thing that the LGBT community and our allies can do is to avoid engaging with homophobic sites, blogs, posts, and tweets. As far as I can tell, doing so only serves to attract more people’s attention, many times in a negative way. Let’s think about this for a moment—who is going to drop their beliefs just because they’ve read your comment?

Instead of fighting for equality for all in cyberspace, let’s focus on gaining allies in a real-world context through kindness and understanding.

For that, I say when it comes to the digital realm, let us turn a blind eye and offer the other cheek (as a certain religious paragon directs in a certain holy book). With more people than ever coming to their senses, full equality is in sight. Let’s not impede progress with petty, online squabbles.

But what do I know? //

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