Rebuilding Social Connections

Tips for in-person socializing after distant and virtual interactions

by Kelli Gemmer, Florida League of Cities

Social connections are critical to our overall health. Not only do they reduce stress, but they can also provide meaning and purpose in our lives. The COVID-19 pandemic caused an abrupt change in our social lives. We were once used to connecting daily with others in person at work, extracurriculars or social gatherings, but quarantining and working from home meant most of us spent much of our time seeing only our immediate household members. Those who live alone may have gone months without seeing anyone in person except their pets.

This “new normal” forced us to connect with others in non-traditional ways, from virtual happy hours to socially distant walks. As social activities begin again after more than a year of physical distancing and virtual meetings, many of us may feel awkward or uncomfortable socializing in public. Here are a few tips for easing back into social situations, from returning to the office or attending in-person conferences to appearing at social gatherings.

▸ Don’t avoid socializing. Further prolonging in-person social interactions due to fear of awkwardness will only make things more difficult in the long run. Socializing is a learned skill, so once you begin using it again, your social skills will come back quicker than you expected.

▸ Practice with short interactions. Make small talk with peers in the elevator, cashiers at the store, servers at the restaurant, etc., when possible. Practicing with short conversations will help you ease back into social settings.

▸ Go at your own pace. You don’t need to fill up your social calendar every day of the week. Have lunch with a coworker or grab coffee with an old friend.

▸ Begin with an activity. If you’re worried about maintaining a conversation over a meal or drinks, start by meeting up with people who have shared interests such as sports, board games, a book club or community service.

▸ Prepare questions and answers. Much like an elevator pitch, consider mentally preparing bullet points of answers to commonly anticipated questions such as “how have you been?” especially if you’re afraid of unintentionally oversharing due to nerves. Similarly, think of a unique question or two that will help kickstart conversations.

▸ Make light of the situation. Since many people are experiencing the same social awkwardness you are, joking about how long it’s been since you’ve seen someone in person can help break the ice.

▸ Give yourself grace. Remember that you are not alone in this experience. It’s normal for social skills to decline after spending extended periods alone, so give yourself grace as you ease back into social settings.

Kelli Gemmer is the Assistant Editor for the Florida League of Cities.