DESIGNED & PRINTED IN THE U.S.A.
How to Parallel Park: 1. Park Somewhere Else.
CE3-224
When the cashier said strip down, facing me, she meant my credit card I know that now.
I haven’t lost all my marbles, but there’s definitely a hole in the bag
CE3-225
I’m giving up drinking for a month. oops! forgot punctuation... I’m giving up. Drinking for a month.
When you get angry, take a deep breath and count to ten. (Throw the punch at eight, nobody expects that.)
CE3-226
People are so judgemental. You can tell just by looking at them.
Understanding some people is like trying to figure out what the number seven smells like
I’ll never get down to my original weight. But let’s be honest, 7lb 3oz is a bit unrealistic.
DESIGNED & PRINTED IN THE U.S.A.
It’s Called Work Because all the Other 4-Letter Words were Taken.
I’ve Given it a lot of Thought, and I Just Don’t Think Being an Adult is Going to Work for Me.
Autocorrect Can Be Your Worst Enema.
Dear Algebra, Stop Asking Us to Find Your X. She’s Not Coming Back. We Don’t Know Y.
I Don’t Need Anger Management Classes...You Need Shut-the-Hell-Up Classes. Coffee, You’re on the Bench Alcohol, Suit Up.
I’m Allergic to Stupid. I Break Out in Sarcasm.
Be Yourself is About the Worst Advice you can Give Some People
DESIGNED & PRINTED IN THE U.S.A.
I Didn’t Say it was Your Fault. I Said I was Going to Blame You.
I Can’t Adult Today. Please Don’t Make Me Adult.
Googled My Symptoms. Went From Mild Headache to Clinically Dead in Three Clicks.
On the Bright Side My Coffee Will Never Get Cold in Hell
CE3-118 At the Coffee Shop Today, a Guy sat with No Smart Phone. No Tablet. No Computer. He Just Sat, Drinking His Coffee. Like a Psychopath. If I Died and Went Straight to Hell, It Would Take me a Week to Realize I Wasn’t at Work Anymore. Born to Fish Forced to Work Jesus Loves You But I’m His
DESIGNED & PRINTED IN THE U.S.A.
-SarcasmBecause Beating the Crap out of Someone is, in Fact, Frowned Upon.
If I Don’t Remember it, It Didn’t Happen.
Just When You Think You’ve Reached the Bottom of Someone’s Craziness, There’s a Crazy Underground Garage
I’m Not Crazy. I’m Mentally Hilarious.
I Like to Have a Glass of Wine to Relax After a Long Glass of Wine.
What if the Hokey Pokey Really is What it’s All About?
Where are we Going? And Why are we in this Handbasket?
That Sounds Like an Absolutely Horrible Idea. What Time?
DESIGNED & PRINTED IN THE U.S.A.
I’m Sorry I Pushed All Your Buttons. I Was Looking for Mute.
CE3-155
I always Mean What I Say. I Just Don’t Always Mean to Say it Out CE3-165Loud.
When Your Thighs Touch You are One Step Closer to Becoming a Mermaid. Who’s the Real Winner Here?
CE3-156
“Not a Morning Person” Doesn’t even BEGIN to Describe it.
CE3-158
Sometimes I Wish I was an Octopus so I Could Slap Eight People at Once.
CE3-163 Do I Look Like a People Person? CE3-168
Each Day You Reach the Point When You Know You Will No Longer be Productive. That Moment for Me was 9:13 AM I Pretend to Like People Everyday. It’s Called Being an Adult. It’s also Why we are Allowed to Buy Alcohol.
CE3-170 CE3-169
DESIGNED & PRINTED IN THE U.S.A.
I Used to Procrastinate. Now I Just Don’t Do it.
CE3-171
I Don’t Know About You, but I’ve Thought More About Running Away as an Adult Than I Ever did as a Child.
CE3-179
“If You Can’t Say Anything Nice, Don’t Say Anything at All.” And People Wonder Why I’m So Quiet.
CE3-173
Someone Called Me Lazy Today... I Almost Responded.
CE3-175
I Can’t Remember if I’m The Good Sister or the Evil One Not to Get Technical, but According to Chemistry, Alcohol is a Solution.
CE3-183
CE3-185
Another Fine Day Ruined by Responsibility.
CE3-176
The Next Time a Stranger talks to me, I’m Going to Look Shocked and Whisper, ”You Can See Me?”
CE3-186
DESIGNED & PRINTED IN THE U.S.A.
Have You Ever Had too Much Wine? Me Neither. Everyone was Thinking It. I Just Said It. Don’t Grow Up. It’s a Trap. CE3-189
I’d Like a Cafe Mocha, Valium, Vodka, Latte, Please. In My Defense, I Was left Unsupervised.
I Love You This... Nevermind.
Wrinkled was Not One of the Things I Wanted to be When I Grew Up! After Tuesday Even the Calendar says WTF
DESIGNED & PRINTED IN THE U.S.A.
My Dentist Said I Need a Crown. And I Was Like “I Know Right.”
If I Have 10 Cookies, And You Ask Me For 2, How Many Cookies Do I Have Left? That’s Right. Ten.
I Don’t Mean To Act Like I Think I’m Always Right. But I am, So That’s Why It Seems That Way.
I’m Smiling. That Alone Should Scare You.
I’m Pretty Sure My Guardian Angel Drinks
Good Moms Let You Lick The Beaters. Great Moms Turn Them Off First.
Well, Aren’t You Just Little Ray of Pitch Black
How About A Nice Tall Glass Of “Never-GonnaHappen”?
How to Parallel Park: 1. Park Somewhere Else.
CE2-224
When the cashier said strip down, facing me, she meant my credit card I know that now.
DESIGNED & PRINTED IN
I haven’t lost all my marbles, but there’s definitely a hole in the bag
CE2-225
I’m giving up drinking for a month. oops! forgot punctuation... I’m giving up. Drinking for a month.
When you get angry, take a deep breath and count to ten.(Throw the punch at eight, nobody expects that.) CE2-227
CE2-226
People are so judgemental. You can tell just by looking at them. CE2-231
I’ll never get down to my original weight. But let’s be honest, 7lb 3oz is a bit unrealistic.
Understanding some people is like trying to figure out what the number seven smells like CE2-228
It’s Called Work Because all the Other 4-Letter Words Were Taken.
I’ve Given it a lot of Thought, and I Just Don’t Think Being an Adult is Going to Work for Me.
Dear Algebra, Stop Asking Us to Find Your X. She’s Not Coming Back. We Don’t Know Y.
I’m Allergic to Stupid. I Break Out in Sarcasm.
CE2-104
DESIGNED & PRINTED IN
I Don’t Need Anger Management Classes... You Need Shut-theHell-Up Classes.
CE2-105
On the Bright Side My Coffee Will Never Get Cold in Hell
CE2-119
CE2-111 Coffee, You’re on the Bench Alcohol, Suit Up.
At the Coffee Shop Today, a Guy sat with No Smart Phone. No Tablet. No Computer. He Just Sat, Drinking His Coffee. Like a Psychopath.
CE2-120
Jesus Loves You But I’m His Favorite
CE2-123
There is Nothing to Fear but Fear Itself-and Spiders. Definitely Spiders.
CE2-124
I Can’t Adult Today. Please Don’t Make Me Adult.
CE2-117
Can’t Sleep. Clowns Will Eat Me.
CE2-121
Googled My Symptoms. Went From Mild Headache to Clinically Dead in Three Clicks.
CE2-118
If I Died and Went Straight to Hell, It Would Take me a Week to Realize I Wasn’t at Work Anymore.
CE2-122
I’m a Leader, not a Follower. Unless it’s Dark, Then I’m a Follower. -SarcasmBecause Beating the Crap out of Someone is, in Fact, Frowned Upon.
CE2-129
CE2-130
DESIGNED & PRINTED IN THE
Just When You Think You’ve Reached the Bottom of Someone’s Craziness, There’s a Crazy Underground Garage
CE2-132
Where are we Going? And Why are we in this Handbasket?
CE2-138
I’m Not Crazy. I’m Mentally Hilarious.
CE2-142
I Like to Have a Glass of Wine to Relax After a Long Glass of Wine.
CE2-133
If I Don’t Remember it, It Didn’t Happen.
Wait a Minute... I Need to Put on My “Gosh-I-Really-CareFace”
CE2-135
When I get a Headache, I Take 2 Aspirin and Keep Away from Children Just Like the Bottle Says.
What if the Hokey Pokey Really is What it’s All About?
CE2-143
CE2-151 My Wife Says I Don’t Listen... or Something Like That.
When the Grammar Police get Upset, I Calm Them by Saying, “There, They’re, Their.”
CE2-136
Some People Need a High Five. In the Face. With a Chair.
Despite the Look on My Face... You’re Still Talking?
CE2-152
DESIGNED & PRINTED IN
I’m Sorry I Pushed All Your Buttons. I Was Looking for Mute.
CE2-155
I always Mean What I Say. I Just Don’t Always Mean to Say it Out Loud.
CE2-165
I Used to Procrastinate. Now I Just Don’t Do it.
CE2-171
When Your Thighs Touch You are One Step Closer to Becoming a Mermaid. Who’s the Real Winner Here?
CE2-156
Do I Look Like a People Person?
CE2-168
Better to Have Loved and Lost than to Have Spent the Rest of Your Life with that Psycho!
CE2-172
CE2-158 “Not a Morning Person” Doesn’t even BEGIN to Describe it.
I Pretend to Like People Everyday. It’s Called Being an Adult. It’s also Why we are Allowed to Buy Alcohol.
CE2-169
“If You Can’t Say Anything Nice, Don’t Say Anything at All.” And People Wonder Why I’m So Quiet.
CE2-173
Sometimes I Wish I was an Octopus so I Could Slap Eight People at Once.
CE2-163
Each Day You Reach the Point When You Know You Will No Longer be Productive. That Moment for Me was 9:13 AM
CE2-170
Someone Called Me Lazy Today... I Almost Responded.
CE2-175
DESIGNED & PRINTED IN
Another Fine Day Ruined by Responsibility.
CE2-176
Do You Ever Have the Urge to Tell Someone to Shut Up When They aren’t Even Talking?
CE2-182
Everyone was Thinking It. I Just Said It.
CE2-187
Some People Say the Glass is Half Full. Some People Say the Glass is Half Empty. I Say, “Are You Gonna Drink That?”
CE2-177
I Can’t Remember if I’m The Good Sister or the Evil One
CE2-183
Have You Ever Had too Much Wine? Me Neither.
CE2-188
I Don’t Know About You, but I’ve Thought More About Running Away as an Adult Than I Ever did as a Child.
CE2-179
Not to Get Technical, but According to Chemistry, Alcohol is a Solution.
CE2-185
Don’t Grow Up. It’s a Trap.
CE2-189
CE2-180 Sarcasm: Just One More Service I Offer
The Next Time a Stranger talks to me, I’m Going to Look Shocked and Whisper, ”You Can See Me?”
CE2-186
I Love You This... Nevermind.
CE2-190
DESIGNED & PRINTED IN
I’d Like a Cafe Mocha,Valium, Vodka, Latte, Please.
CE2-193
I’m Pretty Sure My Guardian Angel Drinks
CE2-207
I’m Smiling. That Alone Should Scare You.
CE2-212
I Live in My Own World... But it’s OK... They Know Me Here!
CE2-196
Well, Aren’t You Just Little Ray of Pitch Black
Good Moms Let You Lick The Beaters. Great Moms Turn Them Off First.
CE2-217
Wrinkled was Not One of the Things I Wanted to be When I Grew Up!
CE2-197
If I Have 10 Cookies, And You Ask Me For 2, How Many Cookies Do I Have Left? That’s Right. Ten.
How About a Nice Tall Glass of “Never-Gonna-Happen”?
CE2-219
My Dentist Said I Need a Crown. And I Was Like “I Know Right.”
Shut The Duck Up
Be Yourself is About the Worst Advice you can Give Some People
CE2-112
DESIGNED & PRINTED IN THE U.S.A.
MOUSEPADS/TRIVETS
DESIGNED & PRINTED IN THE U.S.A.
