The Impact of Emotional Abuse

Professional Experience Article

Understanding the unseen

When we think of trauma, the first thing that often comes to mind is physical abuse, car accidents, the death of people close to us, or lifethreatening situations that leave us with a persistent fear of not being safe. However, how much do we understand about the lasting effects of traumatic experiences that cannot always be seen?

The Power and Control Wheel developed by Domestic Abuse Intervention Programs (DAIP) provides great insight into other forms of trauma that one may experience. For the purpose of this article, we will be taking a deeper look into the impact of emotional abuse and the pervasiveness of it. The Power and Control Wheel lists examples of emotional abuse as: putting someone down, making one feel bad about themselves, name calling, making one feel as if they are crazy, playing mind games, humiliating them, and making them feel guilty. DAIP’s Executive Director, Scott Miller, begins to explain the intricacies of emotional abuse by explaining that the foundation of emotional abuse is to cause the individual to feel that they are less than (2017). Miller further explains that the abuser believes that he is superior and has the right to dominate his partner and carries this belief out with constant criticism and constantly putting her down. This leads the victim to feel that they cannot survive without their abuser and that they are unworthy.

Safe Place, an organization based out of Austin, Texas, delves deeper by adapting the Power and Control Wheel to target forms of abuse faced by people with disabilities. Taking a look at the emotional abuse section of this wheel, we see that the examples given include: insulting and shaming an individual due to their disability, giving conflicting messages that both help and hurt the individual, abusing the partner more as they become more independent, disrespecting their partners boundaries, and talking down to them (2011). Both versions of the Power and Control Wheel include a section that talks about Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming. Within both are the examples of blaming the victim for the abuse and saying the abuse did not happen.

Surviving the Unseen

Making sense of the abuse after experiencing it for so long can be difficult. When we take a look at these examples, it is important to be aware of how these things can impact a person throughout their lifetime and in different domains of their life. An individual who is constantly made to question their own judgement, made to feel that they are “crazy”, and made to feel guilty about things that are not their fault will likely question their judgment in their career, parenting, other relationships, as well as lead them to question their ability to make decisions for themselves. The impact of this can be crippling and the difficult to navigate. With that being said, with greater understanding and support, it is possible to regain your sense of being, your sense of self, and your sense of control over your life. Here are a few ways to begin your journey toward healing: Support System: Having a support system is an important part of the healing journey. This can include a trusted family or friend, a spiritual leader that you trust, community organizations, support groups, or an advocate.

Psychotherapy: Therapy is a great way to not only feel supported but to also learn and develop the skills needed to feel like yourself again. Therapy will address negative cognitions that may have developed after experiencing a trauma and help you work toward developing more adaptive and positive ways of viewing yourself and your abilities while improving your overall mood and sense of being.

Grounding and Mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques can help you center yourself in the present and shift your focus from things of the past or future that cause discomfort or anxiety to current feelings, thoughts, and/or body sensations. Examples include breathing exercises, meditation, and walks in nature. Recognizing and being able to put a name to your experiences is often the first step to seeking help. Remember that you are not alone and you are deserving of love, support, and respect.

References:

SafePlace. (2011). People with Disabilities in Partner Relationships. Retrieved from http://www.ncdsv.org/images/SafePlace_Pow erControlWheelDisabilities_2011.pdf

Understanding the Power and Control Wheel. (2017). Retrieved from https://www.theduluthmodel.org/wheels/und erstanding-power-control-wheel/#emotionalabuse

Written By: Joshualin Dean, MS, NCC, Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern Joshualin “Jay” Dean is a Staff Clinician at the Corbett Trauma Center division of the Crisis Center of Tampa Bay. Joshualin specializes in trauma with a population focus of victims of crime. Joshualin is trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, Accelerated Resolution Therapy, Cognitive Processing Therapy, and Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to reduce symptoms of trauma. Joshualin has experience working in inpatient psychiatric units, residential programs, and outpatient settings.