A Cynic Look into Meditation

As a graduate student in marriage and family therapy, I have been introduced to meditation practices against my own will. One of the foundational courses in my program was about Milton Erickson and his revolutionary ideas towards the field of marriage and family therapy. However, the course required every student to meditate throughout the semester and journal their experiences as a graded assignment. While I particularly enjoyed learning about an important figure and his contributions to my field, I had conflicting thoughts regarding to my meditation experience.

Throughout my training, I have witnessed the importance of mindfulness practices first hand. Yet, meditation was everywhere. From that first awkward class demonstration where we all had to close our eyes and meditate in an awkward class room setting, to the one we had to drink tea while meditating in class. Without even a warning the practice of meditating was the pill we all swallowed. And before I could process the value of it, I have seen meditation everywhere in the social media, in television, in radio shows, even the big companies such as apple and google are all incorporating meditation into their practices.

The act of meditating can be wonderfully calm and grounding experience. Allowing its practitioners to breathe and stay in the moment. My experience of meditating always left me in a state of just being. Devoid of any feeling or emotion just simply existing. When I asked my colleagues about their experiences, they all agreed into just being and not feeling any particular way. Which led to the burning question of why? Why are we trying to prune ourselves from our fundamental emotions? Why are we trying to escape our right to feel?

I remember being employed in a field I despised. However, for the monetary reasons I had to continue working. I vividly remember feeling sick of it and wanting more. The emotion itself was so intense that it made it difficult for me to motivate myself. During those moments of intense feelings, I often closed my eyes and exhaled deeply. Yet, I did not try to drown myself to be present or stay on my breaths. Just like staring into a chess board, I would think calmly about million different ways to move forward. I channeled that lack of joy into motivating myself. I worked harder, and charted a course. Ultimately, following my plan to switch fields. I utilized and channeled the strong negative emotions into something concrete and constructive.

Throughout my life I have utilized my emotions to achieve different means over and over again. Therefore, I believe that emotions serve an important purpose in our lives. Yet, the act of meditating just gets us out of our state of feeling abruptly pushing us into coming to terms with just being. I believe as future therapists we should acknowledge the value of ourselves and how uniquely we feel each of our emotions. Because, knowing our depths and our capabilities can be a wonderful tool for our tool box.

Written By: Mert Yildiz Mert is an international student in marriage and family therapy Ph.D. program at Nova Southeastern University. Previously working in translation and in foreign trade with a business background. Mert is interested in traveling, psychology, learning different cultures and languages.