Grab a Seat, Let's Talk

It is no secret that many of us were destined to become helpers and healers to those who need that safe space to process the whirlwind of emotions that sometimes smacks you right in the face. We may find that we get a nice lick from those too, from time to time. Other times, we may even find ourselves back in the ring taking body punches from the big T we thought we left in the past- yes, I mean past trauma. You may even catch yourself asking how you can be in the position to help others work through things when you still find yourself standing toe to toe with those same demons. Sound familiar? Ok then, grab a seat and let’s talk.

First things first, therapists are human, too. Therapists, like everyone, have experienced things that may not have been so pretty, and they have definitely felt some feelings that were not so pleasant. This is why it is important to practice what we preach: Self-care, self-care, self-care. It is natural for us to walk alongside our clients, meet them where they are, and help them on their path to healing. During that walk, we remind them that healing is not linear and though they will be able to better process and regulate their emotions, they may still experience days that are a little tougher than others. You may have even spoken the words, “give yourself some grace” while meeting with them. So why is it so hard for us to take our own advice?

I would be lying to you if I told you that there weren’t days when I have found myself stewing with the frustration of feeling anything other than happy, focused, and invincible. On those days, I have to remind myself that I am not invincible, I am not a stone wall of positivity, but I am human. No amount of training, coursework, on the job experience, webinars, or certifications are going to fully eliminate days when therapists also need a little pick me up. Being strong is fantastic, yes, but it is important to recognize that at the core, we feel and express some of the same emotions as those we are blessed enough to be in the position to help.

Being reflective and aware of things that may influence our day to day is just as important for us to do as therapists as it is for our clients. Sometimes as new, or even experienced therapists, we fail to allow ourselves the grace to feel and express emotions due to belief that we have to be strong and resilient at all times.

Being a therapist does not make us any less susceptible to fatigue and unwanted feelings than anyone else. At times we may even find that the unexpected road bumps we encounter may even bring about uncomfortable feelings that relate to things that we thought we had put away in the past. Encountering these road bumps does not make you any less qualified to help people navigate the battles that they struggle with and it is important that you do not allow that to define how you see yourself as a helping professional. One of the most powerful things we can do as therapist is to lead by example. So be kind to yourself, show yourself some compassion, and follow the same guidelines you give your clients because after all, you are human, too.

Written By: Joshualin Dean, MS, NCC, Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern

Joshualin is a Staff Clinician at the Corbett Trauma Center division of the Crisis Center of Tampa Bay. Joshualin specializes in trauma with a population focus of victims of crime. Joshualin is skilled in crisis intervention, trauma-informed care, and mindfulness based techniques. Joshualin has experience working in inpatient psychiatric units, residential programs, and outpatient settings. After serving on active duty in the United States Air Force, Joshualin received a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology from the University of Alabama followed by a Master of Science in Counseling and Psychology from Troy University.