The Best and Worst Ride of Your Life

Professional Experience Article

Euphoric highs and debilitating lows- this is the hallmark feature of bipolar disorder. Something I know a thing or two about; not just clinical knowledge of having treated folks with it, but from a very personal vantage point- I was diagnosed with Bipolar I, when I was 14 years old.

I often get looked at sideways when I tell people that I am bipolar. People quickly try to change the subject or apologize. No need to apologize, you didn’t give this to me, I didn’t somehow catch this, like it’s a cold or something I had any control over. The truth is though, bipolar is a mental health diagnosis that is looked down upon. You have anxiety? No problem, lots of people do. Depression? Not a big deal, times are tough for a lot of people. But, bipolar? Now that’s a different story, you must really be crazy then. Where does this negative connotation come from? In my opinion, two places; from ignorance and misrepresentations by the mainstream media

One of my goals in life, is to educate as many people as I possibly can, about bipolar. Not because I need them to accept me or like me, but because other people deserve to know the truth and people with the condition deserve to be treated just like everyone else. We are not pariahs or fragile creatures that can’t handle ourselves, we are people just like you, we have our faults and our demons, just like everyone else. But we also have some incredible capabilities, things that you don’t ever see, because you are too quick to judge, or not be friends with someone because they have these “big emotions” that you don’t understand

I think if people stopped and took the time to get to know people with this condition and really ask them what it’s like, or how they can help, they might be surprised and even learn something. So here I will spend a few minutes talking about my experience with bipolar. That is a very important distinction to make as well, how one person’s disease presents itself can be entirely different for someone else, even if it is the same condition

What is it like to be bipolar?

It is like being on the most exhilarating and terrifying roller coaster you can imagine, the best and the worst ride of your life. There are times that you are so enamored with life and are so grateful and blessed to be living and thriving. And then there is the absolute opposite of that as well. Lows so low that you can’t bare to even get out of bed to shower, let alone go to work, take care of the kids, or have any kind of social life; everything is just too hard And of course, there are those times in between; however, those are fleeting unless you’re medicated

I used to think I was defective, or damaged. Now I realize that I am the way I was intended to be. I am who I am for a reason, and my life has a very specific purpose. There’s no question about it, my disorder (although I don’t like to call it that) has had a profound impact on not only my life, but on the lives of those around me. I wonder if I would have ever become a counselor, had I not been bipolar myself. Maybe I’d have been a lawyer or an accountant? My life has been heavily influenced by my condition and I can honestly say, I wouldn’t change a thing If I could take away my illness, I wouldn’t, it’s a part of me and I a part of it.

I used to think it was all bad and there was no upside. However, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to embrace this condition and even come to depend on it. Who would I be if I was not bipolar? Maybe I would not be as compassionate, or as caring, maybe I would not be as genuine or as accepting of others? Sure, there are times when not sleeping is a real bummer and I’ve had my share of really terrible ideas and negative consequences…but don’t we all have that, regardless of whether or not we have a mental condition?

I spent many years trying to deny the existence of this, other years trying to prove it wasn't a big deal, and other years believing I could overcome it without medication…but what I have learned time and time again is that for me, if I want there to be peace and serenity in my life I need to be on medication Maybe it won’t always be this way, but for the time being that is my truth, and I have finally learned to accept it

As a clinician I see folks with a variety of mental issues and I try to educate and share some experiences as best I can, especially when it is topic that I have personal knowledge and understanding of. It’s important that I do not try and hi-jack the session or divulge too much information though I work hard to establish a safe, supportive environment where people can be themselves, no matter what that looks like, the good, the bad, and all that’s in between.

Written By: Katherine Hord, LMHC

Katherine Hord is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in the state of Florida, where she operates a private practice in a rural town.

She enjoys working with kids, teens, and adults who seek services for a variety of concerns, including but not limited to ADHD, addiction, anxiety, bipolar, depression, grief/loss, personality disorders, school related concerns, trauma, and stage of life issues She was previously licensed in Ohio for both mental health and drug and alcohol counseling She attended graduate school at the University of Dayton