Focus magazine issue 12

Bay of Plenty and surrounding areas

ISSUE 12 | AUGUST - SEPTEMBER 2018

WHEN IVF

DOESN'T WORK

Anna Keogh and Sharleen Abraham share their stories

SISTER POWER

Karena and Kasey Bird

FABU PRIZ LOUS ES T WO O BE

N

THE FOUR-LETTER WORD

we need to stop saying

FOCUS ON WOMEN EXPO LAKE WAIKAREMOANA

TAKE ME HOME – I'M FREE

Lifestyle and business magazine. About women. By women.

DON'T MISS OUT!

Feature Writers Millie Freeman Kseniia Spodyneiko Rebecca Tereu Jenny Argante Cindy McQuade Annaliese Arnold Laura Tuck Creative Director Cath Hartley, Savant Creative Printing Sanyati Print Cover Image Charmaine Marinkovich Photographer Cover Photo Editing Alex Spodyneiko Sales advertising@focusmagazine.co.nz Contact Details th 62 10 Avenue Tauranga 3110 (n-Gon Group Head Ofce) P O Box 14004, Tauranga, 3143 Tel: (07) 578 6838 Mobile: 021 535 770 advertising@focusmagazine.co.nz focusmagazine.co.nz facebook.com/focusmagazinenz Distribution 5,000 free copies are delivered bi-monthly to high trafc areas such as high-end cafés and restaurants, hairdressers, fashion boutiques, waiting rooms and professional ofces across BOP, Hamilton, Cambridge and surrounding areas.

Digital focus is available to view online focusmagazine.co.nz and is supported by social media sites including Facebook, Instagram and YouTube. focus is a free magazine (subscriptions are available) and is published six times a year by Align Publishing (a facet of the n-Gon Group). focus is subject to copyright in its entirety. All rights are reserved and reproduction in whole or in part, without the written consent of The Publisher (Align Publishing), is prohibited. Align Publishing and all its related companies and ofcers hereby disclaim, to the full extent permitted by law, all liability, damages, costs and expenses whatsoever arising from or in connection with information or other material in this magazine, any negligence of The Publisher, or any person's actions in reliance thereon.

Every effort is made to ensure the accuracy and correctness of the information contained within this magazine and inclusion of any copy must not be taken as an endorsement by The Publisher. Views expressed by contributors are personal views and they are not necessarily endorsed by The Publisher. Any dispute or complaint regarding placed advertisements must be made within seven days of publication.

All material sent to focus (whether solicited or not) will not be returned unless otherwise agreed beforehand, and all rights, including copyright in such material will be assigned to Align Publishing upon receipt. The Publishers presume all letters and other material submitted to focus and related social media sites are intended for publication unless clearly labelled “not for publication”.

Welcome to our heart-warming family edition. Running through all the articles as we get ready to publish, I'm reminded of how many amazing women there are in our region. We are grateful to them all for letting us share their stories so that you, in turn, can feel inspired and empowered.

Anna Keogh and Sharleen Abraham, who grace our cover, yearned to start a family and eventually embraced different parenting options to welcome their gorgeous children. In this edition we also meet Nataria Hepi-Te Keeti, a Tauranga mother who has faced the responsibility and challenges of raising 16 children. She's proud, and rightly so, that they've grown up to be caring, capable and courteous individuals.

We are also delighted to share the latest news on Karena and Kasey Bird. You might remember they won Masterchef 2014, went on to make a travel/food show, produced a few cookbooks, and have now created some high-end popup events. So inspirational!

We've also included some clever 'hidden veggie' recipes, articles on post-baby exercises, fun activities for the family and a great article on mindfulness and parenting and how journal writing helps to shift us from a place of stress to acceptance.

Every magazine needs to know it's heading in the right direction and focus is no exception. With that in mind, we'd love your help to complete our survey.

You'll nd it on page 5, or, if pen and ink aren't your thing, you can complete it online www.focusmagazine.co.nz/onlinesurvey.

And, of course, there's an update on the Focus on Women Expo which we can't wait to bring you on 27-28 October. Read about it on page 13.

Have an amazing two months. See you in October for our Second Birthday edition J

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Online Editor Kseniia Spodyneiko kseniia@focusmagazine.co.nz

– I'M FRE

Editor Dee Collins dee@focusmagazine.co.nz

Ed or's Welcome

HOME

Publisher Align Publishing (an n-Gon Group facet)

Dee

ISSUE 12

- SEPTEMB

ER 2018

WHEN

DOESN

Editor & Founder

IV

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Anna SharleenKeogh and share th Abraham eir stor ies

dee@focusmagazine.co.nz

FREE copies of focus are available at our ofce.

| AUGUST

TAKE ME

focus

FA PR BUL IZE OU S S WO TO BE N

n-Gon Group, 62 Tenth Ave, Tauranga (while stocks last)

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Lifestyl e and

Cover Story

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ISSUE

12 | AUGU ST - SEPTE MBER

2018

TAKE ME

16 ANNA KEOGH AND SHARLEEN ABRAHAM Anna and Sharleen share their stories about the bleak realities of infertility and what inspired them to consider other parenting options

busines

WH

DOES EN IVF N'T W ORK Anna Ke

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FA PR BULO IZE U WOS TO B S N E

Cover + Photoshoot Images: Charmaine Marinkovich Photography Hair: Ephraim Ormsby, Ivy Hair Makeup: Hair & Makeup by Chloe Clothing: Magazine Clothing

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Regulars 8

WHAT'S ON? Find out what's happening in the region

10 OUT & ABOUT 34 RECIPES Get your picky little ones to start eating healthily 38 LADIES AT LUNCH Topical discussions, over lunch

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41 EATING OUT Delicious, delectable Harbourside 44 STYLE PAGES 46 PRODUCT REVIEWS This time we're reviewing face and body scrubs 47 focus PICKS Find out what we've been watching, reading and listening to

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67 COMPETITIONS Four incredible prizes on offer for our readers 68 THE LAST PAGE Jeanette Mindham from the Tauranga Chamber of Commerce answers our questions

Focus on Women Expo 13 It's a flurry of activity at focus HQ because our very first Focus on Women Expo is just around the corner

Family 14 MINDFULNESS AND PARENTING How journal writing helps to shift us from a place of stress to a place of acceptance

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23 ENDO WHAT? Endometriosis is the leading cause of fertility problems 25 KICK-START YOUR POST-BABY WEIGHT LOSS JOURNEY With so much information out there it can be hard to know where to start!

28 NATARIA HEPI-TE KEETI Mum to 16 children and active member of the Mãori Woman's Welfare League 31 CARING FOR CHILDREN AFTER SEPARATION When parents separate, one of the most important decisions to make is around the care of their children

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35 SISTER POWER Cooking duo Karena and Kasey Bird are definitely aiming high in the culinary world

Inspiration 32 WALKING THE TALK The realities of balance

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42 WHY VILLAGE RADIO VOLUNTEERS NEVER GIVE UP We visit the Historic Village radio station 48 NATALYA DOUDELL Realistic watercolours through to abstracts, surrealistic paintings and drawings

Travel

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52 FABULOUS AND FREE! Get outside with the family

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56 LAKE WAIKAREMOANA Rippling waters and ancient forest on one of New Zealand's Great Walks

Business 61 WOULD YOUR BUSINESS PASS A WARRANT OF FITNESS? Five things to consider as a business owner 62 THE FOUR-LETTER WORD WE NEED TO STOP SAYING Laura Tuck explores the one innocent word threatening credibility

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64 TIME-TESTED WAYS TO BE MORE EFFECTIVE AT WORK Apps and techniques to boost productivity

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focus | SOCIAL focus

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Behind the scenes Cover photoshoot: Charmaine Marinkovich Photography Hair: Ephraim Ormsby, Ivy Hair Makeup: Hair & Makeup by Chloe Clothes: Magazine Designer Clothing Behind the scenes photos and video: Kseniia Spodyneiko When you've got two heroines surrounded by the bubbly personalities of a photographer, hairstylist, makeup artist and focus editors, you'd want the photoshoot to go on forever! The most uplifting behind the scenes video awaits at focusmagazine.co.nz/mums

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What's happening on Insta?

We love seeing what you've been up to lately! Keep tagging us on Instagram and look for your photo in the next edition #focusmagazinenz

Are you a photographer, hair stylist or makeup artist and keen to be involved in a photoshoot? We’d love to hear from you. dee@focusmagazine.co.nz

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@karlamohi

@poundtness_with_amynlayson

@ourandwater_

@andypersonftw

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@thenourishingbaker

@brooklynpatio

@_catherinesylvester_

@kendraeden

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focus MAGAZINE

WIN this Flights of Fancy collection from Wet n Wild

OUR SECOND SURVEY! 5. If yes, what age group are they?

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7. What is your family's combined income (this question is optional) 0-50K We’ve just brought out our 12th edition of focus and felt it was time for our second survey. We want to know a bit more about you, our readers – what you think of the magazine and whether we’re on the right track. With this information we’ll be able to do a better job of providing the kind of magazine you want.

So, we’re asking a huge favour and would greatly appreciate you taking a few minutes to complete this survey. You can choose to remain anonymous, or if you'd like to go into the draw for this fabulous, limited edition Flights of Fancy collection from Wet n Wild, please give us your contact details.

You can post your response to us or, complete the survey online www.focusmagazine.co.nz/onlinesurvey Postal Address: focus Magazine, PO Box 14004 Tauranga 3143

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I read it from cover to cover I read most of the articles I only read one or two articles in each edition I ick through, pick and choose I only enter the competitions I hadn't heard of the magazine till now 9. Approximately how much time do you spend reading focus?

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Thank you for supporting us!

1. Gender:

101K-150K

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13. Please indicate below which editions of focus you have read?

focus

Lifestyle and business magazine. About women. By women Bay of Plenty and surrounding areas

M TA – I'ME HOKE FR ME EE

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ISSUE 1 | OCTOBER - NOVEMBER 2016

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19. In the last 6 months have you purchased or done any of the following?

Car

House

Clothing Cover Story

Menopause

Three women tell their stories

One of New Zealand's great rides

Flow Nut ri Retr Kids on Coneat ARR sult Mig C McM Books Card illan s

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Are you surviving?

Breast Cancer

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WIN

WIN

Dinn Logo er Gi Des Vou Lifestyle ign Packcher Coachinage Pack g age

Alps 2 Ocean Cycle Trail

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Other 22. We would appreciate any further feedback that might help us understand our market and identify what you want in a magazine:

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Thank you very much for your time and opinions. We look forward to hearing your thoughts and bringing you more newsy reads! If you would like to enter your name into the draw for the Wet n Wild Flights of Fancy Collection please enter your details below. Please note, this is optional, you may prefer to keep your answers anonymous: Name: .....................................................................................................................

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You can post your response to us or, if you would prefer, complete the survey online www.focusmagazine.co.nz/onlinesurvey Postal Address: focus Magazine, PO Box 14004, Tauranga 3143

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Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, a er all, is a form of planning.

Designed by Pressfoto/Freepik

Gloria Steinem

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focus | WHAT'S ON

What's on?

AUGUST / SEPTEMBER 6-11 August Ice Skate Tour Lynmore Primary School, Rotorua

Ice that isn't cold is probably the coolest thing we've ever heard of. The Ice Skate Tour travels around New Zealand with articial ice rinks. They look like ice and have almost the same gliding capacity as natural rinks! An exciting way to learn how to ice skate, and MoreFM will complete the experience with bubble machines and music.

Adults $12; Children $8; Family $35 iceskatetour.co.nz

18 August Loaded Tough Guy and Gal Challenge Lakes Ranch, Rotorua 11:00am-2:00pm If you want to get down and dirty and have a whole lot of fun, this off-road event is the one to enter! Challenge yourself on a course that includes swamp crossings, a spider's web net climb, a crawl under barbed wire, beautiful native bush trails, tunnels, hurdles, a climbing frame, and, mud, mud and more mud! Open to anyone over 13 years old.

Entry: $80

eventpromotions.co.nz

23 August-16 September New Zealand International Film Festival Rialto Cinema, Tauranga Learn more about the adventurous woman and talented inventor in Bombshell: The Hedy Lamarr Story, get involved in the open discussion of suicide while watching the new lm Māui 's Hook by Māori psychologist and lmmaker Paora Joseph, or enjoy the opulent world of show-stopping Chinese designer Guo Pei in Yellow is Forbidden.

See the full list of 2018 lms on the website nziff.co.nz

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focus | WHAT'S ON

27 August-2 September Groundswell Tauranga will come alive with a range of events showcasing local inventors and organisations which are leading the way with their innovations – electric bikes, sustainable textiles, robotics, plant tech, and how to power an island.

Engage with international leaders and experts from Tesla, Google, ANZ, Air New Zealand and more. From arts and culture to science and technology, there will be something for everyone.

Richard Robinson Photography

For more information visit gswell.co.nz 1 September, Ledlenser Run Beneath the Stars McLaren Falls, Tauranga 3:00-10:00pm Where else to celebrate the rst day of spring, if not at the stunning McLaren Falls Park! Join this unique dusk and evening running and walking event and explore streams, waterfalls, a picturesque lake and, of course, the world-famous glow worms while getting healthy and t. Entry fee includes Finishers Medal and LED Wristband.

For more information visit eventpromotions.co.nz

22 September Tauranga International Marathon 7:00am-7:00pm Join the rst ever international marathon event to be held in Tauranga. No matter the distance and pace, the route will be fast, at, fun and spectacular! There will be amazing viewing locations throughout the loop track for supporters and spectators.

For more information visit marathontauranga.co.nz 30 September Dr Seuss's The Cat In the Hat Claudelands Arena, Hamilton 10.00am, 12.30pm and 3.00pm This imaginative play lled with mischievous humour is an adaptation of Theodor Seuss Geisel's 1957 classic book. On a rainy afternoon, the Cat in The Hat surprises Sally and her brother with his unexpected appearance. Their pet sh is astounded and concerned, but this cat will not be deterred.

For further information and ticket prices visit claudelands.co.nz/events

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focus | OUT & ABOUT

Vodafone hosted a Chamber of Commerce BA5 function at its Cameron Road regional ofce. The evening was spent enjoying delicious canapés and drinks, networking and learning more about the various community projects that Vodafone supports.

Alice York-Mayall (Talent ID Recruitment), Graham Li le (OPD Interna onal), Barry Brown (Jigsaw Solu ons Group) and Mark Collins (n-Gon Group)

Angela Gillespie (16th Avenue Theatre) and Heather Hoskins (Vodafone)

Maria and Philipp Wilkens (Computastyle Signs) and Conor Quinn (BizStar Interna onal)

Alicia Beech and Meg Davis (Crea ve BOP) and Sarah Oemcke (16th Avenue Theatre)

Carole Bolland (Kids Inc Oscar), Peter Marks and Lisa Mangino (Santa Fe Shu ers)

Janine and Geoff Williamson (Superior Shelving Systems NZ) Hannah Goodhue and Jane Harding (First Credit Union) and Dan Allen-Gordon (Graeme Dingle Founda on BOP) Yvonne Lambert and Philip Brown (Grief Support Services Inc) and Wayne Lowry (Vodafone)

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Gail Page (Posi ve Pathways) and Anna Kendall (Harcourts)

Lyn and Brent Trail (Surveying Services)

Monique van Aken and Jeane e Mindham (Tauranga Chamber of Commerce)

focus | OUT & ABOUT

Recognised as the Large PR Consultancy of the Year for the second year running by the Public Relations Institute of New Zealand (PRINZ), Tauranga-based strategic communications consultancy Campbell Squared hosted a sold-out Business Women's Network event. Guests got a great insight into some of the work and projects they have been involved in and were able to test their skills in the multimedia broadcasting room.

Angela Campbell (Campbell Squared), Leone Farquhar (Harris Tate) and Anthea McLeary (The University of Waikato, Tauranga)

Ashleigh Mansell (Campbell Squared), Jo Tricker (Jo Tricker Glass) and Cathy Glassock (Campbell Squared)

Bridget Cummins (Craigs Investment Partners), Jeane e Mindham (Tauranga Chamber of Commerce) and Gemma Higne (Tui Products)

Libby Dodds (Campbell Squared) and Raimarie Pointon (Young Read Woudberg)

Julie Hayes, Pip Jones and Julie e Yarrell (BeeNZ)

Melissa Cullen (Shine PR) and Erika van der Meer (Aurora)

Roslyn Garre and Kelly Williams (Young Read Woudberg)

Sara de Grey (Southpac Group), Nicki de Grey Everi (Wave) and Angela Campbell (Campbell Squared) Luciana Hoffmann Nunes (Health Trader), Naomi Bickley (Why Be Stressed) and Ena Velseboer (StrategicLiving101)

Julie e Yarrell (BeeNZ) and Ariane Adam (Campbell Squared) focusmagazine

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focus | OUT & ABOUT

Melissa Howell from Wardrobe Love hosted a dinner fashion event at Remix RT Fitness Studios to show women how to shop for their body and type and that they don't need to spend a fortune to look fabulous. Models of all shapes, sizes, heights and ages were styled for the event.

Photos by Briar Blackie, Small Beginnings

Melissa Howell and MC Ngere Paul

Jacinda Hawkins and Ella Chernova

Marion Morrice and Sharlene Rowling

Angela and Andrew Cooper

Raewyn Mortensen and Hilary Tomkins

Lucy Gardiner, Debbie Armour, Amanda Gould and Michelle Wood

Karen and Paige Devlin

Emma McLauchlan, Kate Lovell, Lisa Rolls, Jenny Barre , Julie Mckay and Kim Meadows 12

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Gillian Higgins, Brianna Whaanga and Rachel Whaanga

focus | FOCUS ON WOMEN EXPO

Try something new THIS OCTOBER

– Focus on Women Expo, 27-28 October, Tauranga

It's a urry of activity at focus HQ because our very rst Focus on Women Expo is just around the corner. We've been busy signing up all sorts of exciting stand holders who invite you to try, learn and experiment – it's going to be an awesome opportunity to take action and give something a go!

Expo organiser and focus editor Dee Collins wants to give women a whole lot of new experiences so they can extend their interests and challenge themselves. Dee gives us a run-down of why she's doing it, what visitors can expect, and how to get involved:

WHY?

Just like focus, my hope for the expo is that women come away feeling empowered, enlightened, inspired and informed. I feel it's a natural extension of the magazine and gives me an opportunity to bring women together to show them what's out there for us to try.

There's so much going on in our region that many women don't know about – activities, learning, recreation, extreme experiences – how often have we pushed aside our aspirations and dreams because of other priorities?

I think we need to go out and make the most of our lives; to give everything a go and try things. I really admire women who do that.

This expo is something I'm passionate about so I'm doing it, and that's what I encourage other women to do – try something new. And by supporting each other, we can all help each other grow.

WHAT?

This will be more than just walking around aisles, looking at stands.

Visitors will actually be able to try something new in our mini workshops – like Tai Chi, yoga, mindfulness and Pilates, for starters.

We've also lined up some excellent speakers on a variety of topics, such as how to use Instagram in your business, how to improve your personal nances and how to make kombucha.

And, of course, visitors will be able to chat to stand holders about the different activities available in the Bay, purchase great products and spend a fun day out with friends.

HOW and WHEN?

The Focus on Women Expo takes place on 27-28 October 2018 at ASB Arena. Check out our website and social media pages, which will constantly be updated as the expo gets closer.

Business owners – the Focus on Women Expo is your chance to talk to women in the Bay and be part of a fabulous few days of networking fun.

Please get in touch to discuss the expo opportunities, dee@focusonwomen.co.nz or call me on 021 535 770.

The smaller stands have almost sold out and some of the business categories are already fully booked.

Bring your smiles and see you all soon at the Focus on Women Expo! focusmagazine

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focus | ACCEPTANCE

Mindfulness and Parenting – how journal writing helps to shift us from a place of stress to a place of acceptance Words Annaliese Arnold

they have to say is valued and valuable. Mindfulness We've all been there. The day where you want to tear helps us to look within; to see what's important and to your hair out. The kids have been ghting non-stop and impart these values and skills onto our kids. battling you every step of the way! It appears you can't handle another moment. Then they do something that Journal writing is a way to pushes you to the brink. The practise mindfulness. I scale is tipped. This was me In this moment, parenting is hard. nd the act of writing when I wrote the following In this moment, I am struggling. incredibly therapeutic. piece. I had burst into tears In this moment, I don't want to be a Mum. after a challenging afternoon Not only am I able to In this moment, I want to escape. recognise and release of Mr Four pushing the boundaries. In the moment, In this moment, I know that even though my kids are challenging, feelings that I've bottled I did something that I haven't up, but it allows me to I still hold such love for them. move from a place of done before. I sat down, and In this moment, I let the tears slide down my cheeks. stress to a place of calm.

I wrote. I let the words pour In this moment, I feel the lump in my throat, out of me. It was raw. It was Writing gives us the it stops me from breathing easily. chance to express honest. It was a release.

In this moment, I want to give up. ourselves as well as Having three children aged understand ourselves. ve years and under has In this moment, I start to see the other side. made me realise that life is Mindfulness is both a In this moment, I begin to believe. both hard (a little too often practice and a way of In this moment, my faith in myself grows. living. It's not a quick x. at times) and joyous. About In this moment, I let go of the tears. two years ago I began Shauna Shapiro says, In this moment, I take three deep breaths.

'What you practise grows practising mindfulness to help me navigate my way stronger', and I'm a rm In this moment, I feel the calmness return. believer of this. The next through parenting and life.

In this moment, I know I can face any challenge. time you feel like In this moment, I am stronger.

Mindfulness is the ability to everything is falling to In this moment, I believe in myself as a parent. pieces, grab a pen and be in the present moment, In this moment, I know that everything will be o.k. with compassion and pad and write. Express Annaliese Arnold your feelings. Pour your without judgement. It allows heart out. Surrender to us to notice and understand vulnerability – it might be your saving grace. Release our emotions; to respond rather than react. We as and let go. Journal writing could be the anecdote that parents can be so hard on ourselves, and mindfulness changes a day of challenges into a day of acceptance. n allows us to practise self-compassion.

A few years ago, I was that parent. I'd scold myself for 'mistakes' I made. I'd let parental guilt rule my life. Am I a good mother? Is what I'm doing right? Through my mindfulness practices I've noticed immense changes in how I see the world – as a parent, wife and personally through my own development. I am more present with my husband and kids. I listen and connect with them. I let them know that they have my full attention and what 14

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Annaliese Arnold is the creator of Mindful Mummas, providing workshops and courses to encourage mums to live a life of joy, passion and purpose. On the Mindful Mummas NZ Facebook page there's a weekly dose of mindfulness, parenting tips, inspiration and positivity. Annaliese lives in Papamoa with her husband and three children.

ybiab THE SAYING GOES, THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX!

Might we suggest something a little different!

WATCH THIS SPACE

It could alter your perception

Find out

MORE IN THE NEXT ISSUE!

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focus | COVER STORY

When IVF doesn’t work Words Millie Freeman | Images Charmaine Marinkovich Photography

Cover + Photoshoot Images: Charmaine Marinkovich Photography Hair: Ephraim Ormsby, Ivy Hair Makeup: Hair & Makeup by Chloe Clothing: Magazine Clothing focusmagazine

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focus | COVER STORY

Since the late 1970s, In Vitro Fertilisation (IVF) has offered an incredible opportunity for women and men, who, for whatever reason, have been unable to have their own genetic children. Worldwide, more than ve million babies have been born through assisted reproduction, but what happens when IVF is not possible? Two Tauranga women, who both work at The Gym, share their stories about the bleak realities of infertility and what inspired them to consider other parenting options which led eventually to the creation of their fabulous families.

Sharleen's Story

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focus | COVER STORY

Following the main shoots, Sharleen and her two boys Carter and James, were photographed by Charmaine Marinkovich at her studio (own clothes).

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focus | COVER STORY

Anna's Story

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focus | COVER STORY

Following the main shoot, Anna and Tasia popped into Charmaine's studio for a quick session (own clothes).

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focus | COVER STORY

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focus | HEALTH & WELLBEING

Endo What?

Endometriosis is a complex, signicant and common condition involving hormonal and immune systems that’s also the leading cause of fertility problems. It can affect women of all backgrounds and ages, including teenage girls.

In response to the menstrual cycle, cells that resemble those in the uterine lining grow on other areas, such as the ovaries, fallopian tubes, pelvic lining, bowel, bladder, appendix and other organs and form lesions or cysts which can cause inammation and adhesions.

What are the symptoms?

The most common symptoms include pain at the time of periods, fertility problems, pain during intercourse, pain in other places such as the lower back, painful urination, premenstrual spotting and even constant tiredness and immune system issues.

It’s common for women to think their pain is normal, and so delay seeking treatment. Many women have these symptoms as a teenager but the oral contraceptive pill can mask indicators while the condition continues to progress.

The good news is that Endometriosis has many treatment options that include self-management and holistic approaches which can ease symptoms and may preserve fertility.

Do I have Endometriosis?

Use this quiz to help you decide if you need to seek medical advice: • Do you take medication for period pain every month?

• Do you need to take time off work or school when you have your period?

• Do you need to go to bed because of pain when you have your period?

• Do you experience heavy bleeding or long periods?

• Do you have pain midway through your cycle?

• Do you have pain during or after sex?

• Are your bowel motions painful?

• Do you have diarrhoea or constipation related to your periods?

• Do you experience pain when you have a full bladder or when urinating?

• Do you have a mother, sister or aunt who has had similar symptoms or been diagnosed with endometriosis?

If you answered ‘yes’ to even a few of these there is a possibility you may have Endometriosis.

Find out about support groups in your area or, if you want to set up a group and receive training, contact Insight Endometriosis on info@insightendometriosis.org.nz | 07 8555 123 | insightendometriosis.org.nz

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5 Tips

focus | HEALTH & WELLBEING

to kick-start your post-baby weight loss journey!

Words + Images Renee Norman & Jenna Smith, Real Health NZ

Getting back into exercise post baby is rather daunting, and with so much information out there it can be hard to know where to start!

In this article we'll share our top ve tips to kick-start your post-baby weight loss journey and get some exercise back into your life.

1

Don't rush back into exercise

Having a baby is a big deal! You have really put your body through the ringer and it needs time to recover from a nine-month transformational (and totally incredible) journey.

In the rst few weeks/months postpartum, your body is working hard to do so many things.The uterus needs time to contract into its pre-pregnancy size, and organs, such as your stomach, intestines and bladder, need to move back to their original locations, having been pushed out of the way for your little miracle to grow.

Adding to this, your hormones are completely out of whack!

It's a delicate time for the body; you're simply not meant to pop out a baby and be back working out the following day. Everyone returns to exercise at different times – there is no right or wrong time, and the key is to start when YOU feel ready.

2

Focus on your nutrition

The last thing a new mum should be doing is dieting.

However, we do believe that every new mum should focus on their nutrition (for weight loss, yes) but more than anything, for energy.

We can't emphasise enough how important a quality diet is in the early months of motherhood.

Mum life is a tough gig, but it's even harder if you don't fuel your body. Do your best to choose real food – fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts, seeds and quality meat.

These are the foods that will give you the energy you need to get through the long nights, midnight explosions and the challenges that mum life brings.

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Take it slow

Once you have decided you're ready to get back into exercise, we recommend getting clearance from a medical professional before starting. When you get the all clear be sure to take it slow. A big mistake many mums make is to assume they'll be able to start right back where they left off. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way and you need to really ease back into things.

We suggest starting with walking, and when you feel ready, add in 1-2 short home workouts per week. Don't expect too much from yourself and don't be disheartened if you feel like you're starting from ground zero. Take it one walk and one workout at a time.

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4

Be consistent

When it comes to achieving weight loss post baby, consistency is the absolute KEY. Consistent, steady exercise is what gets results in the long term.

We encourage you to embrace the 'something is better than nothing' approach and t in little bits of exercise here and there. A little bit each day counts.

Once you have a baby, gone are the days of spending an hour working out. But just because you don't have as much time doesn't mean you can't get results – you TOTALLY can!

Once you feel up to it, we recommend trading long, slower paced workouts for quicker, higher intensity sessions (HITT). The beauty of these workouts is they leave your body burning fat for hours post workout, and believe it or not, they can be done in just 15 minutes!

You'll be amazed at how quickly your tness will improve with just a few of these short workouts every week.

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5

Be patient

It took nine months for your tummy muscles to stretch to accommodate a full-term baby. So, it makes sense that losing the extra weight will take time too. For sustainable weight loss to be achieved, it's necessary to be patient, and accept that long-lasting results won't happen overnight. Take it day by day, one nourishing meal and one workout at a time. Be kind to yourself and the results will come. n

This article was written by Renee Norman & Jenna Smith, qualied Personal Trainers, Wellness Coaches and Mums. Renee and Jenna help busy women (particularly mums) achieve their health and tness goals from the comfort of their living room through their online platform, Real Health NZ. To start your online tness journey from as little as $14 per month, check out realhealthnz.co.nz or facebook.com/realhealthnewzealand

focus | HEALTH & WELLBEING

A few home exercises to get you started

Donkey Kicks 1. Start on your hands and knees.

2. With your right knee bent and foot exed, drive your right heel up toward the ceiling.

3. Keep your core engaged and squeeze your glutes as you kick your heel up.

4. Lower knee without touching oor; repeat 5-10 reps.

5. Switch legs and repeat.

Kneeling Press Ups

Sumo Squats 1. Stand with feet wider than shoulder width apart and your toes slightly turned out.

2. Push your hips back and squat down keeping your chest up.

3. Push through your heels and squeeze your glutes together as you stand back up.

4. Repeat 5-10 reps.

1. Place your hands slightly wider than shoulder width apart and your knees comfortably apart.

2. Slowly bend your elbows and lower your chest until your chin reaches the ground.

3. Slowly return to the starting position.

4. Repeat 5-10 reps.

Static Lunge

Alternating Kneeling Supermans 1. Start kneeling on all fours, knees under hips and hands placed beneath shoulders.

2. Extend your left arm in front of your body at the same time as extending your right leg.

3. Slowly raise the arm and leg simultaneously.

4. Lower both limbs back to touch the ground before repeating; 5-10 reps.

5. Repeat on other side.

1. With your chest lifted, chin up and core engaged, take a big step forward with your right foot.

2. Sink straight down so your front right knee tracks over the top of your shoe and your back left knee points down toward the oor.

3. Slowly lift and lower 5-10 times.

4. Repeat on other side.

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focus | INSPIRATION

Nataria Hepi-Te Keeti – doing what comes naturally Words Jenny Argante | Images Supplied

Over many years this woman has honed her skills in household and nancial management, effective communication and social interaction, excelling in all. Nataria Hepi-Te Keeti is a mother of 16 children and recently welcomed her 25th grandchild into the world.

Nataria Hepi-Te Keeti

The responsibility, the challenges and the energy required to cope with nine boys and seven girls is something most of us can't begin to contemplate. Yet Nataria has raised her brood to be courteous, caring and capable, and the grown-ups amongst them – the majority now – are all doing well, gainfully employed and creating families of their own.

Nor is it possible to dene Nataria as being 'only a mum'.

This vital and intelligent woman has been active in the local branch of the Māori Women's Welfare League (MWWL) throughout her life, and there is a special reason for this.

In 1951, a trailblazing group of Māori women came together under the kaupapa of helping their people, creating what later became the MWWL. Amongst those early co-founders were Nataria's grandmother, Heeni Hepi, and her great-aunt, Mamae Pitiroi, of Ngāti Tūwharetoa and Ngāti Te Maunga descent.

The grassroots work that MWWL has been involved with ever since includes helping people with housing, education, employment and health. The League also focuses on the promotion of Te Reo Māori, and on encouraging the tikanga and traditions of New Zealand's indigenous culture to be upheld.

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"That's what the League is all about," Nataria says, “nurturing and growing our people. That's its kaupapa."

Namely to improve the wealth of Māori, be that spiritually, economically, or social wellbeing.

With Māori culture one of the MWWL's stated aims, it is no surprise to discover that Nataria is also deeply committed to fostering the arts within the community.

She speculates that her interest in the written word could reect her family descent from German writer and notable Poet Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, whose son Johann Maximilian Goethe married renowned New Zealand Māori Poet, Puhiwahine.

Whanau remains core focus “The concept of whānau, of kinship, is central to who I am as a Māori woman. Within my home, on my marae, there were many strong women. Among them my mother Te Matetu-o-rihi McLeod, was a tribal Matriarch and star role model. I understand in my heritage and culture comes a strength from whānau and marae a sense of continuity, of the generations who came before and will come after. From early days I knew I wanted a family.”

focus | INSPIRATION

Family team work So what does she think are the greatest benets of having such a large family?

Nataria's ancestor, Rihi Puhiwahine Te Rangi-hirawea.

“I am not always conventional,” she condes. “I was brought up around ettiquette, old fashioned rules of conduct and morality, and I am grateful for that. Still, I had the condence to walk my own path, which has proved useful, as sometimes I had to walk alone. But I believe that no matter what a person achieves, which we must respect and acknowledge, our primary task is to learn and teach the art of being.”

Nataria has been married and widowed twice.

“I had the great good fortune,” she says, “to be wife to not one, but two strong handsome good men, loving husbands and fathers who both provided a thriving life of stability and abundance. My children and I had the sorrow of losing both too soon. Our children are their legacy.”

When her rst husband died, she was pregnant with her sixth child and found it difcult to cope with her grief in the home they had shared. She and the children spent some time in Australia to come to terms with the loss.

Nataria plunged into projects and renovations – both there and when she returned to New Zealand – with the notion to adapt and move forward with her family life.

However, some time later, her younger brother borrowed her car and returned it late to a growling from Nataria.

Still cross, she bundled her children into the car and set off, accidentally running over the bare foot of the friend her brother had brought with him. That was the man who eventually became her second husband.

“You have to be organised, or you might go under. Your children must be trained to co-operate and work as a team. I also determined from the start to ensure my children had the best education I could provide, as it's the most solid foundation for adult success. Ultimately, however, it's the abundance of resources within that family you can use to do great things.” She smiles, “We've got landscapers, a specialised topiary artist, builders, agriculturalists, who have done well to form, own and operate successful businesses. “It's nice to have my sons to call on when we need a help around the home.” The remainder of the children continue to pursue their careers in everyday life.

In post-war Russia the Communist government under Stalin introduced the Order of Maternal Glory, recognising mothers as heroines of the state. You qualied for gold if you had ten or more children. What Nataria Hepi-Te Keeti has been rewarded with instead is a multitude of love for and from the family she created.

“Whatever else I do,” she states rmly, “my children are my greatest achievement.” n

Jenny Argante is a freelance researcher, writer and editor, and co-edits Freelance magazine, the only New Zealand magazine for creative writers of all kinds. She lives in Tauranga and has helped new writers to produce over 40 books.

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focus | EMPOWERMENT

Caring for children after separation When parents separate, one of the most important decisions to make is around the care of their children. This can be difcult for some parents who may require legal advice and sometimes the assistance of the Court when agreement cannot be reached.

If the situation goes to the Family Court, there are a number of options the Court may make to try and resolve matters. If the issues still cannot be resolved, then a judge will make the decision for the parents as to who has day to day care and who has contact.

“Parenting arrangements come in many forms, such as 50/50 (each parent has an equal amount of time with the child/ren), week about, or shared care, which is close to an equal amount of time caring for them,” explains Mihi James, solicitor at The Law Shop.

“Day to day care simply means that the children live with one of their parents most of the time. Regardless of who has day to day care or contact, both parents are still responsible for making sure the children's needs are met when they are in their care. The parent who has day to day care does not have more say or power over the important decision making in the child's life,” Mihi explains.

“When parents cannot agree on how the arrangement should work, either parent can apply to the Family Court for a parenting order after the parents have tried to resolve the issues through mediation and have completed the Pa r e n t i n g T h r o u g h S e p a r a t i o n Programme,” she says.

Before becoming a lawyer, Mihi was a Deputy Registrar in the Rotorua Family Court. She now practises as a family lawyer and deals with care of children, guardianship disputes, domestic

violence, paternity and protection of personal property rights (PPPR) proceedings. Mihi knows and understands the process from beginning to end.

Mihi James, Solicitor at The Law Shop If you are having difculty in resolving disputes with your ex-partner involving your children, the team at The Law Shop can assist so you can nd a parenting arrangement that's best for your family. Just email team@thelawshop.co.nz or call our Tauranga or Rotorua ofce on 0800 LAW SHOP (0800 529 7467) any time.

focus | ACTION

Walking the Talk

when Action speaks louder than Words (The second in the Pursuit of Balance series) Words Rebecca Tereu

Hello again beautiful busy women!

Yes it's that time again, when we get to explore the realities of balance – and begin to unpack what that looks like in the average modern day superwoman (which is all of us, right?).

Part two in our series The Pursuit of Balance is about to challenge all those stubborn little default settings in your life, and hopefully put a rocket under your proverbial, because this episode is all about ACTION. So for the time being, get comfortable, grab a hot cup of coffee, and let me begin by telling you just how confronting this whole thing has been for little old me.

You see, I'm a big believer in walking the talk, and in this day and age it's just too easy to sit behind a keyboard and spout off opinions and advice without being accountable to the words that ow all too easily. Do you often wonder if the person advising you on the other end of that magazine page, radio frequency, or TV screen, is actually doing everything they are preaching about? The truth is – probably not, but that dear ones, is just a perfect example of humanity in action. Aka Imperfect.

So in the spirit of honesty let me say right from the getgo, that I'm not very good at following my own advice.

Oh I try, but I am always challenged and often fall short.

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But not this time!! And not because this was somehow easier than the other steps. Nope, it was damn hard! But I did it to prove a point to myself, and maybe so I could authentically and legitimately type up a storm just for you.

In our last article we talked about busy brain syndrome, and how to take back control and governance of our own spaghetti-bowled minds. In this article we are going to focus on getting OUT of our heads, and actually DOING something on a regular basis to help nurture that work-life or mum-life balance. Because there is such a thing as having a life you know!

Planning to set aside time for myself, doing things I want to do (not necessarily need to), is hands down one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. And I know there are entire generations of women out there who get where I'm coming from. There are all sorts of reasons why, and we could honestly be here all day unpacking that donkey, but let's just acknowledge the hard truth and ofcially decide to do something about it.

It starts with a simple yet powerful little thought: I AM WORTH IT. Then that thought needs to convert into a walk. Aka action!

focus | ACTION

When everything else screams for your attention, it is your number one mission to hold fast to those plans where possible, and keep yourself and your self-care a priority. Why? Because … you are worth it! Keep telling yourself that, and keep reminding yourself about the airline oxygen mask analogy in my previous article.

Afrm yourself enough times and it WILL stick.

SO out of practice that you're not sure what you can do for yourself? Let me give you some ideas, and YES I have done every single one of these things since my last article. Virtual high ve for me!

pain and aches … it's the best thing you can do for a tired, stressed out body. n Get your hair done. Ok some of us do this all the time, but me? Maybe once every six months if my hair is lucky. Treating yourself to a nice hair style can help boost your condence and make you feel absolutely worth it. The Hair Co on Cameron Road is amazing (just saying). n Spend some time writing in a gratitude journal. The more we focus on the positive stuff that's happening with us and around us, the more optimistic and productive we become.

n Take a walk of inspiration. Whether it's around or up

n

n

n

n

the Mount, along the beach, or in the backyard jungle. Wherever! Just get away and get your walk on!

Get a massage. I asked my followers on @Lifeandinsights what they would most want to do if given the opportunity and most of them said: Massage! So I went and treated myself at the brand new and very beautiful Serenity Spa in Tauranga and well … let's just say that was the best decision I had made all week!

Get out in the garden or do some homemade DIY projects if that's therapeutic for you. I love making bath bombs with my doterra essential oils, Epsom salts and citric acid/baking soda for zz. There's something about doing this stuff that really sends me to my happy place and you can get most of the ingredients quite cheaply at Bin Inn. What's a bath bomb without a hot bath right? On my day off last week you could nd me in one place around lunch time. The bath!! I know! Crazy right?

Having a bath in the middle of the day is crazy talk.

But it was absolutely delicious, and I'd do it again in the next free heartbeat.

Don't have a bath? I would highly recommend you book yourself a oat at Zen Float Spa in Mount Maunganui. I've written a blog about my experience on lifeandinsights.org – THAT's how good it was!

With 500kg of Magnesium salt and one hour of no

There are so many things you can do for yourself, and obviously these are just a few examples that I can genuinely say I've trialled lately (aka walked the talk). But here's the real challenge: It can be relatively easy to set aside a little you-time once in a blue moon, but being consistent with self-care, forming a healthy habit, and sticking to your guns can be a daunting prospect. But like they (the scientists) say, it takes 21 days to form a habit, so really you only have to make a laser-focused effort for three weeks. Of course you can do that – you're you after all! The rest is plain sailing and your entire life will thank you for it.

And here's the other thing: You don't have to do the big stuff all the time either. Try incorporating micro pauses or mini 'you-moments' into your routines and you will nd your day will often end on a better note. What does that look like? For me, I make sure I frequently stop what I'm doing and practise a little diaphragmatic breathing. It's amazing what a little habit like this can do to your mood, your tension and your brain capacity. That's just one example – there are hundreds more.

So what are you waiting for beautiful busy women? Don't just think it. Don't just talk about it. Put those feel good thoughts into some feel good action today, and do yourself a favour and never look back. n

Rebecca Tereu is a business advisor, speaker, encourager and author lifeandinsights.org | facebook.com/LifeandInsights focusmagazine

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focus | RECIPES

Evidently, it can take up to 15 tastes before a child will accept a new avour. Double that number when it comes to veggies! Get your picky little ones to start eating healthily with these brilliantly attractive dishes that are also so easy to cook!

Beetroot and coconut soup

By Mila Arena, V on Wheels

Ingredients: 500g beetroot, scrubbed 2 Tbsp olive oil 2 leeks, nely sliced 30g fresh root ginger, cut into matchsticks 1 litre fresh vegetable stock 1 Tbsp lemon juice 2 cups coconut cream Small handful dill leaves or toasted pumpkin seeds Method: 1. Preheat the oven to 200°C. Top and tail the beetroot and cut into bitesized chunks. Toss with 1 Tbsp oil, season, and roast for 30 minutes, tossing halfway.

2. Meanwhile, heat the remaining oil in a large saucepan over a medium heat. Sauté the leeks and ginger for 10-15 minutes, until softened and starting to caramelise. Stir in the cooked beetroot, then the stock and bring to the boil. Season, simmer for 5 minutes, then take off the heat and leave to cool for 10 minutes.

Rainbow Smoothie

By Monique Hemmingson, Wildone Wholefoods Eatery

Ingredients: 1 medium banana 2 medjool dates 1 handful of spinach 1 handful of kale ¼ tsp of organic spirulina powder ¾ cup coconut milk (or preferred nut milk) ¾ cup frozen mango pieces Method: 1. Place everything in a blender and blend until smooth.

2. Get creative with the toppings, letting your little ones decorate their own smoothie with fresh or freeze-dried fruit and nuts.

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3. Transfer to a blender and add the lemon juice and coconut cream (leave a few tablespoons of the coconut cream to add at the end).

Whizz (in batches, if necessary) until smooth, adding more seasoning and lemon juice as required, and a little water to loosen, if needed.

4. Serve in bowls with a spoonful of cream and a scattering of dill or seeds.

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focus | SISTER POWER

Sister power – cooking duo on mission to feed New Zealand Words Kseniia Spodyneiko | Images Supplied

It might be a little too early to talk about an 'empire', but uber-talented cooking duo Karena and Kasey Bird are denitely aiming high in the culinary world. Four years into winning MasterChef New Zealand, they have already published two cookbooks and starred in their own travelcooking show Karena and Kasey's Kitchen Diplomacy. The next big step for the sisters from Maketu is The Creation Dinners – high-end pop-up events they are hosting all over the country. A trial event in Rotorua sold out in 24 hours! focus chatted to Karena and Kasey before the next dinner, in Auckland.

Karena and Kasey Bird

What's the idea behind The Creation Dinners?

It's a multi-sensory dining experience. A seven course meal with world class wine, all wrapped together with sound, visuals, music and lighting to help share our favourite childhood legends. We wanted these dinners to feel intimate, to create special connections between the guests, so we only sit one table of 30.

The night starts with guests meeting at a bar for predrinks and then being transported to the mystery dining location. There they enjoy food that has been carefully created following the techniques and avours we have learned on our extensive overseas travel. The whole experience lasts about four hours. One of the best things

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focus | SISTER POWER CREATIVITY

about the dinners is the team of strong women helping us to deliver this experience. The only thing better than having a job you love is being able to bring other people with you!

Any plans on hosting one in Tauranga?

We plan to bring The Creation Dinner to Tauranga for a weekend in November or December. It's always nice to be close to home during the warmer months!

No matter how busy your schedule is, you have no intention of leaving your home town in the Bay of Plenty. What is it that you love so much about Maketu?

There are countless reasons why we will never leave our home town. Maketu is a place where everyone treats us the same as before we were on TV and it is our quiet place to create.

Our family is a huge part of our lives and we wouldn't want to live far from them. All our favourite places here are somehow connected with our family: the cul de sac where our parents live, the beach where we take our dogs for daily walks, and the Marae – the hub of our community with one of the biggest and best kitchens around.

Maketu still is the quintessential Kiwi beach community – everyone knows each other and people drop the freshest sh right on our doorstep. We love living in the Bay of Plenty, one of the most popular holiday destinations in New Zealand. Why would anyone want to move?

Your love for food must also come from your family. What was always on your table, while growing up in Maketu?

We grew up wanting to sample every different dish at the potluck dinners we would go to. We were lucky that our grandparents and mum could cook really well. Our mum worked full time as a lecturer but still made time to come home and cook delicious dinners for us. A few of her well known classics include her perfect stufng and

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roasted chicken, lamb shanks with prunes and kumara mash, and honey soy chicken and fried rice.

What's the best town for foodies in New Zealand?

At the moment, it would have to be Auckland for us.

From ne dining at The French Cafe to authentic Indian curry in Sandringham, to Korean BBQ, to classic sushi at Cocoro, to Italian comfort food at Coco's Cantina. There are new places popping up all the time there and we love it!

You do everything together but who's the boss in your team?

We are both the boss! We each have our own roles and responsibilities and we think we make a very good team.

Our discussions are always very matter-of-fact as we both agree it is about getting the best outcome, not about who is right.

Creative people tend to not be very good at numbers but you two are an exception. Do you have anyone helping you with the business side of your projects?

We have been fortunate to have many very accomplished advisers in our family to give us guidance.

And we both have had experience with business – Kasey was studying accounting before MasterChef and I was an auditor in Te Puke, so we weren't green when it came to the number side of things. Since MasterChef we have been our own managers – we have self-published and marketed both of our cookbooks, made our own website, negotiated all of our own contracts and shaped and planned our careers in a very hands-on way. We are comfortable with all the aspects of our business but we've learned that there aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done, so this year we brought our cousin Leanne into the fold to help with some of the projects. Leanne has been incredibly helpful and it has put us in a position where we can keep moving forwards and upwards.

focus | SISTER POWER

It's always exciting to talk about achievements and success, but could you share with us a 'cooking disaster'?

In Karena and Kasey's Kitchen Diplomacy, the last day in a country was always a huge cooking challenge.

We needed to plan a menu based on the things we had learned only a few days prior, create recipes we had never practised before, go to the markets to buy ingredients we didn't know for certain would be available, then cook in a kitchen we hadn't seen before. There were times when we thought we had pushed ourselves too far. For example, in Peru, we had to cook for Diego Muñoz, who graduated from Le Cordon Bleu Institute in Canada and Paris, and is alumni of El Bulli and Mugaritz (both are ranked in the World's 50 Best Restaurants), and while working in Australia at Bilson's he was nominated for Chef of the Year 2011! We planned to cook a four-course meal – with potatoes in every course – for Chef Muñoz and three other accomplished Peruvian chefs. I remember the wafer-thin potatoes I had mandolin-sliced for my dessert being blown all over the inside of the oven from the fan! It was a very intense three and a half hour cook but, in the end, it was one of the most rewarding experiences. We pulled off our vision under difcult circumstances!

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Can you give our readers some advice about following their passion and starting their own business?

Our advice is that you just have to start. Start writing your business plan instead of thinking about it! Start asking people about your business and what their opinions are, start researching and asking questions about the market you want to enter, start making the 'thing' it is that you want to make. You don't need to quit your job straight away either. It might mean late nights working on your idea after working all day but if you are passionate and really want it, then you have to make time to start. It is now or never!

Where will we be able to see you in August/September?

We will be working on The Creation Dinners for the foreseeable future. We will be in Wellington on the 4th and 5th of August, then we plan on doing a South Island leg during September. If you want to try some of our food, we are usually at our local Maketu Markets running a food stall – these are held monthly.

We post on our website where and when we will be cooking if you want to come and visit us. karenakasey.com n

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focus | LADIES AT LUNCH

Ladies at Lunch Words Dee Collins | Images Kseniia Spodyneiko

Hayley Nelson, Natalie Berkett, Katrina Hulsebosch, Diane Hansen and Kristin Dunne

Over a delicious meal at Harbourside Restaurant our Ladies at Lunch deliberated over our numerous questions that included work-life balance, managing expectations, technology and whether we, as women, feel supported by other women. We also asked the group to share some actionable tips they use in their busy day-to-day lives and learned that Express Food Bag was denitely worth trying!

What was apparent in our conversation was that every day is a juggling act and we all feel overwhelmed at times. We denitely need to be more supportive of other women and, in turn, we need to put our hands up and ask for help when we need it. Putting systems in place on the home front and realising that you can't do everything were also important to our wellbeing and sanity.

Joining us at lunch was a group of dynamic women from a range of professions. Our hosts were ASB Private Banking Managers Diane Hansen and Hayley Nelson.

They were joined by Kristin Dunne (CEO Tourism BOP), Natalie Berkett (Director at KPMG) and Katrina Hulsebosch (Director at Harris Tate Lawyers).

Natalie I don't know if you've read Mia Freedman's book Work Strife Balance? One of her catch phrases is 'Balance is b*shit'. This really resonated with me. The phrase implies that women can't have it all and puts pressure on woman to reach the unattainable perfect “balance”. Work-life balance is all about exibility to me, and give and take in all aspects of your life. Sometimes you might be winning on the work side of your life but might feel you're not winning on the family side and vice versa. This is normal and we shouldn't feel guilty about it.

Hayley Yes, it's never equal portions. Sometimes you're working long hours, other times you don't have that pressure and might need to watch your kids doing cross country. It's about making those choices and prioritising.

Is a work-life balance an illusion? What does it actually mean to you?

Do you think women expect too much of themselves and what can they do about it?

Kristin I think there's work-life exibility but I'm not sure balance is a word I would use because every day is a juggling act. Some days you feel balanced, others you don't.

Hayley Yes! High expectations, high achievers. One's own harshest critic.

Kristin A friend introduced me to the idea of energy management rather than time management and that was

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so powerful for me because time is more like putting things into slots whereas energy management is about 'how I'm feeling today – did I have a huge day yesterday that's affecting my day today?' It changes on a daily basis.

Diane Listen to yourself – so often we are living our lives through other people's expectations. Sometimes you might need to say that today I can't do that. It's ok to have a quiet day to recharge yourself and not live up to other people's expectations on that day.

Katrina Yes, I constantly have to remind myself to be more realistic. As my career has developed and my children have grown, I've become more comfortable knowing that I won't make every event, and how to prioritise what I do commit to.

Hayley Do up a meal plan for the family so that they know what is going to be on the table and when they will have to make their own dinner, even if it is just porridge!

Do you feel supported in your careers by other women?

Long pause from all the ladies…

Kristin I work in an all-female team, not by design but that's the way it's happened. One of our values is being supportive and we have a mutual value for exibility. In that environment I feel incredibly supported. Outside of that bubble…mmm…don't know.

Katrina I think we can do better. Within business networks there is a lot of support. There is also a lot of support outside of business too, but nding it is a bit harder when you're not in the school social or sport networks every day.

Natalie I think there are some really good role models, for instance, in our organisation that made me feel supported, especially coming back to work after my rst child. Sometimes, as a full-time working mum I feel like the odd one out, for example, I can't always do the school things without juggling things.

Hayley I totally get that. We can denitely all do better at supporting each other at all levels. We need to put ourselves in others' shoes.

Did your upbringing affect the way you are as a woman, a mum and a business woman?

Diane I went to boarding school so I became independent at an early age from having to make a lot of decisions myself. My parents have a strong work ethic, and I always had part-time jobs. It denitely shaped who I am.

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focus | LADIES AT LUNCH

week, My Food Bag Katrina Denitely! My with the lunch and fruit upbringing was very box options. I have modest. At 12 I had a been a struggling paper run, and I single mother so I continued in part-time know I am talking work throughout all of about outsourcing from my studies. Knowing a privileged position how to work hard is a but I know I can afford family trait, which of this and nd if course has helped me everything works like in my career. this, I am calmer and Kristin We didn't have more in control of a lot to go around so I what's happening. So, I started working at 15 guess it's a system that and helped contribute I have created around [to the family] but also me that works with a lot had some cash to do of support. what I wanted. Both my Diane It's important parents' values of hard to take time to treat work got impressed on yourself. And in turn, if me. Now I try and give you have the time, back wherever I can to share that time with them and acknowledge friends and family so the support they gave that they can also have me.

Lemon meringue, passion fruit sorbet, lemon jelly an hour to themselves.

Natalie My upbringing and freeze-dried lychee People need to put up was very similar and their hand and know has denitely affected it's ok to ask for help. the way I am. We didn't Kristin My parents are amazing and my sister buses get given a lot of things – we didn't get our university down from Auckland regularly and will come in and paid for or a car bought for us so we had to go out and wash the dog, put washing on – walks into my house get part-time jobs. I had my rst part-time job when I was and does whatever needs doing. She'll text me that she's 14 and was eventually working a 30+ hour job per week coming down and asks what she can do to help and it's while studying at university so I denitely learned those a case of not being too proud to ask for help. She values of hard work from my upbringing and this has doesn't have kids and it gives her an opportunity to be served me right through my career. involved in our family too.

Katrina There's benets in being “busy parents”. My What are some tangible, actionable tips that children are so good at remembering themselves when you have learned along the way? Things that things need to happen, what day they've got drama, our readers can, perhaps, apply to their own sports training or a project due, they pack everything and they're self-motivated. I can't remember all those lives? things. Not being too hands-on has created more Katrina It takes a village…get as many people who like independent children. your children to help out (don't be shy to ask for help, Hayley Yes, my four make their own breakfast and and in turn help out when you can), and we love My lunch. Helps with their independence.

Express Bag! Kristin I think sometimes we say that everything is Hayley Schedule and plan. Rather than a big 'to do' list, great – only once you know someone better do you schedule it in so that it will happen. drop that façade and are more honest. You can admit Natalie I started this recently – win the night to win the that you had a crap week, where everything went wrong, morning. Pre-organise things the night before so you are that you're an awful mother. It allows them to open up more organised in the morning. Get kids clothes out, too. Every day is a juggling act. The best system in the sort out their lunches, that type of thing. world goes wrong and every day is a Rollercoaster. It's Kristin I am a single mother for 70% of the year as my important that people know it doesn't always work. n husband works offshore, so I have to outsource as much as I can. So that's the lawns mowed, a cleaner once a focusmagazine

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focus | EATING OUT

Delicious, delectable Harbourside Words Dee Collins | Images Kseniia Spodyneiko

It would be easy to miss if you didn't know it was there. Tucked under the railway bridge and housed in the original historic former premises of the Tauranga Yacht Club, Harbourside Restaurant offers superb waterfront dining with stunning balcony views over the harbour and surrounds.

The restaurant is light-lled and spacious and offers a beautiful haven of tranquility for its guests. It's a place to slow down, soak in the relaxed, yet sophisticated atmosphere, and enjoy exquisite food.

Harbourside is very much a family business. Peter and Anita Ward, who have worked at many well-known establishments, initially managed the restaurant from 2009, and in 2011 became the proud owners. Along with their son Cameron – who runs the kitchen – and his wife, Nicole, they make a dynamic team.

Tauranga turned on a gorgeous winter's day for our 'Ladies at Lunch' get-together, evident by the number of people on the deck enjoying a leisurely midday meal.

The Harbourside team was attentive and helpful and, with an array of menu options to suit all appetites and dietary preferences, we had a number of questions to ask. Sipping Pinot Gris, we nally settled on the Wild Mushroom Risotto, Pan Roasted Chicken Breast, Miso Glazed Salmon and the Fish Curry. Harbourside prides itself on sourcing only the nest, freshest ingredients – organic and local are given special priority – and our choice of mains with tasty vegetables and accompaniments certainly reected this ethos.

Although the meals are a generous size we just had to make room for dessert. We chose the lemon meringue pie, warm chocolate brownie, blueberry cheesecake and Gelato, and, if the squeaky clean plates were any indication, all the choices were a big hit.

Harbourside is open 365 days a year for lunch and dinner. It's best to make a reservation, especially if you're after a table on the balcony. n

150 The Strand Tauranga | 07 571 0520 | harboursidetauranga.co.nz 41

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Keep going!

Why Village Radio volunteers never give up Words and Images Kseniia Spodyneiko

It's one of those nasty winter days, when your meant-to-be-rainproof jacket soaks through while you're trying to lock the car. But, inside the beautiful 'Town Board' building – easily recognised among the colourful Historic Village houses – it's cozy and warm.

The building belongs to the Village Radio station, which rst started broadcasting at the site back in April 1984.

Shirley Hanly has just arrived. She is not announcing today, but will spend a good 3-4 hours getting ready for her next 'live' broadcast. She needs to choose music from the impressive collection available at their library – 120,000 tracks from the 20s to the 90s. It's the fourth largest collection of nostalgic music in New Zealand – an amazing achievement for a small radio station, broadcasting on AM band and run entirely by volunteers.

Shirley joined the radio station 14 years ago when a friend from Carmel Country Estate Retirement Village invited her to join the team.

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“I had only just moved to the retirement village and he asked me, 'Would you like to give it a go?'. I came here one day, listened to what he was doing, and have been here ever since. I love what I do!”

And she means it. Besides eagerly donating about 10 hours per week of her free time to the radio station, Shirley never skips a chance to go out with her colleagues or cheer them up with her signature ginger biscuits.

“I don't cook enthusiastically like I used to, but boys love my biscuits, so I often bring some to work. If I ever had to give up Village Radio, it would be a disaster,” she says.

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Shirley has always been passionate about music. As a teenager she participated in musical shows in Rotorua and later joined the Hamilton Operatic Society. After that, she sang in a Tauranga band.

“We went all around Tauranga, entertaining in the retirement villages – they loved us! I did that for several years. I just love singing and dancing. I think I got it from my dad. He used to sing and also played at the Majestic Theatre in Rotorua.”

Shirley has also joined the Tauranga Organ and Keyboard society to play Clavinova.

It is incredible how this one-woman band keeps the momentum going. She left school at 15 and since then has never stopped creating, trying new things and discovering new hobbies.

“I've been in business and had some shops, but those were hard times and I just couldn't keep them going. So I went dressmaking – wedding dresses and ball gowns – I've always loved sewing. I even drove a school bus for a couple of years in Reporoa where I lived with my rst husband. He was a country boy and had a farm with milking cows. What a wonderful time it was!'

“It's always a lovely afternoon. They are curious to put a face to the voice and so do we. A lot of our listeners ring us and it's interesting to nd out who they are.

Her other projects have included travel to some of the most remote and mesmerising corners of the world.

Once she toured around Alaska with a girlfriend, bravely climbing up all the glaciers and exploring wild nature. In the 80s she took herself off to South Africa for a threeweek Shongololo Express train tour. But her most unforgettable experience was a spontaneous journey that turned into several years away.

A rm believer in being active for physical and mental health, Shirley declares, “Women can do anything! You can do anything, if you try”. n

“My daughter went exploring overseas and rang one day to say, 'Why don't you and dad come over?' And there really was no reason why we couldn't go, so off we went and stayed away for 2½ years. We took a campervan all around Europe, travelled through America and picked grapes in France. It was the time when I fell in love with reading because I had to entertain myself at nights.”

Shirley's daughter and son now live in Tauranga as well.

Spending time with them and the younger generation of volunteers at the Village Radio creates the spark in her life.

“We had a few school boys come in recently. They were learning what it's all about, got a little bit of the insides of what we do, and ended up working at the big radio stations! We are very lucky to be supported by such lovely people.”

As a reward to their volunteers, listeners and subscribers, the Village Radio team organises a wonderful party twice a year.

“Of course, sometimes I have those days when I don't want to do anything. But something inside me says, 'Come on, Shirley, keep going!'”

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focus | STYLE PAGES

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Photo by Alex Spodyneiko

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focus PICKS What we're watching

What we're reading BOOK REVIEWS – Words Dee Collins

Gaia

The Yoga Body

We’ve recently signed up to Gaia, the world’s largest resource of conscious media that has a community of seekers, dreamers and doers. There are over 8,000 adfree, streaming titles to inspire and encourage curiosity.

So far, we’re loving it – gaia.com

What we're listening to Heartcore Business Shanda Sumpter, founder of Heartcore Business, has created countless opportunities for business owners, enlightening them about ways of doing business that create more prots and free time. It's Shanda's mission to give entrepreneurs the step-by-step systems they need to launch and grow their businesses and transform their nancial lives.

Nutritionist, yoga teacher and bestselling author Lola Berry has always helped people become the healthiest, happiest versions of themselves. As a non-yoga person I felt this book would be a good challenge … and it certainly was. It took me a few weeks before I felt my body might be 'engaging' and that my posture, exibility and core strength were improving. I'm still battling with the mind-chatter and focusing on being present but I'm going to stick with it.

More than half of the book is dedicated to a fabulous selection of nutritious, tasty recipes including a Thai minced chicken salad, baked broccoli burgers, sweet spud hash browns with haloumi and chickpea choc-chip cookies (all delicious). There's also a seven-day Vegan Cleanse – which I have every intention of doing – designed to give your digestive system, liver and kidneys a complete rest. Lola reminds us that "you are what you eat" and that if you choose nutrient-dense food as close to its natural state as possible, then you will feel vital and energetic all day long.

Portia and Bob at the Globe It's not often we're given a children's title to read but we decided to test out Glenis Carlton's latest book Portia and Bob at the Globe on a few of the local youngsters. They were intrigued and gave it the thumbs up.

Glenis, who lives in Ohope for six months of the year and works the other six as a guide at London's Globe Theatre, brings her love for this theatre to a tale of two animals – Portia the cat and Bob the fox who are legends at London's Globe. The unlikely friends are whisked up amongst the stars and nd themselves on Mount Olympus in the company of gods and myths, and meeting the very characters of the stories they see on stage each night. The story is based on The Tempest and Glenis hopes that, through an interesting tale, her book will introduce Shakespeare to 7-13 year olds. focusmagazine

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Creativity

IN THE BAY OF PLENTY

Natalya Doudell Most of her life was spent in Uzbekistan (which was part of the Soviet Union at that time) but a move to New Zealand in 2003 expanded Natalya Doudell's horizons and imagination. The new experiences and the dramatic change in her lifestyle came to be reected in her paintings, giving them a unique perspective.

Natalya's portfolio reects different collections, from realistic watercolours through to abstracts, surrealistic paintings and drawings. Surrealism is her main focus as she feels there are no constraints on the rational mind, and no feeling of being compelled to use realistic techniques to recreate reality.

“I prefer not to discuss what my art is about,” she says, “but rather allow others to view the works and for them to take from my paintings what they themselves connect with. Some pictures scream with emotion, whereas others are very subtle.

“During one exhibition, a woman burst into tears looking at my drawing Feeding obsession. Her emotional interpretation of the piece was so different from my original idea, and encouraged me to see it from a totally different perspective. When I create a piece, I project my view and values on it, but I am always surprised to see how other people see it.”

What media do you work with?

I love the richness and workability of oils, the transparency of watercolours and the subtlety and precision of pencil.

How do you choose the subject of your artwork?

My creative process varies from spontaneous drawings to slowly planned and created studio pieces. Every painting of mine reects a period of my life and what I was encountering at the time. Although these

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experiences are very personal, my close friends have remarked that they can visualise the effect my experiences have had on my work and recognise what I felt when creating them.

What is your process in developing your artwork?

I generally formulate an idea in my mind, and then develop the initial sketch – which could look like mumbo jumbo to anyone who sees it, but my eyes see every little detail in this confusion. My intuition leads me through the process and the image slowly develops.

What is the most challenging part about creating new artwork?

Sometimes it feels like a roller coaster ride! I can be excited about the new idea and while transferring it to canvas the 'magic' is lost. Then I have to go back to sketching and I may end up with a result that is the opposite of the original idea.

How has your style changed over time and what does your work aim to convey?

I feel my style has changed dramatically over time. For me though, the best aspect is versatility. Like most artists, I started out doing academic drawings and paintings, which provided a solid base. Now my portfolio reects different styles, but one factor

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Lost, watercolour on canvas panel

Shells series

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remains the same – artwork has to evoke a specic emotion. It has to provoke and challenge; has to be able to tell a story with a single image.

How do you revitalise yourself?

Shells, oil on canvas

I have a little crush on Mount Maunganui. Going up or around is the quickest and most effective way I've found to re-energise myself. This is reected in my watercolours, as most of them depict the Mount and local beaches, their ever-changing environment, colours and light.

Is artistic life lonely?

I would call it being alone, not lonely.

Although I'm an extrovert by nature, at the time I create, it is vital for me to remove myself from people, as drawing and painting are generally solo experiences.

What is the best piece of advice you were given?

Art is not what you see, but what you make other people see.

Natalya is represented by three New Zealand galleries: MacandMor Art Space Gallery in Tauranga; Compose Gallery in Mount Maunganui and Artbay Gallery in Queenstown.

Seagulls ghting for the potato chip, watercolour on canvas panel 50

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instagram.com/natdoudell @natdoudell Artmajeur online gallery

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focus | FAMILY FUN

FABULOUS AND FREE

Our family favourites

Words Cindy McQuade Images Cindy McQuade + Supplied Photograph: Cindy McQuade

Our region is a bonanza of natural beauty and it makes sense to get outside with the family and enjoy. There are many free activities and we have pinpointed our ve family favourites.

Photograph: Cindy McQuade

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Photograph: Cindy McQuade

Char Bagh Indian Gardens

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focus | FAMILY FUN Photograph: Hamilton City Council

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Photograph: Mark Smith

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focus | TRAVEL

Rippling waters and ancient forest at Lake Waikaremoana Words Millie Freeman Images Millie Freeman and Brynja Bell

Despite living in the Bay of Plenty for 13 years, with Lake Waikaremoana virtually on our doorstep, I had never taken the opportunity to visit the area and enjoy hiking one of New Zealand's Great Walks.

When we nally did make the trip in March this year, I realised our Tauranga doorstep was in fact quite some distance away. From Rotorua, it's more than 150km, over windy, gravel roads.

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After the initial shock of travelling what seemed like South Island distances in the North Island, we revelled in the isolation, far from the city hustle, and now immersed in the awesome beauty of Te Urewera wilderness.

Water, mountains and bush greeted us when we got out of the car – not unlike any other New Zealand vista – but there was something very special about this area; the vastness, the noticeable change in temperature, and a moody ambience that hung over the lake as though weighted down by layers of stories.

Indeed the area has a rich history and holds deep spiritual meaning to tangata whenua, Ngai Tūhoe – the Children of the Mist. Lake Waikaremoana means sea of rippling waters, which legend says is the restless spirit of Haumapuhia watching over the waters. It felt as if the lake and forest were waiting for the intrepid traveller to peel back a corner to see what treasures lay underneath. We felt incredibly privileged to be able to explore this beautiful, spiritual place.

Getting started The Waikaremoana Holiday Park is one of the accommodation options in the vicinity and a great place to spend the night and sort packs for the four-day journey. It offers an array of cabins and tent sites catering for small and large groups, a big kitchen, excellent bathroom facilities and secure car parking for trampers and boaties while they enjoy their time in the wilderness. The nearby jetty is the water taxi pick-up and drop-off point, and at 9am our large group of 16 hopped aboard for the 20-minute trip across the lake to the trail head at Onepoto Shelter.

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Enjoying the mood and mist on the Day 2 downhill section

The 46km walk covers roughly half the lake's circumference and trampers can choose to walk in either direction – you either tackle the steep uphill climb to the bluff on Day 1, or you build up to it. We opted for straight up rst – thinking we would enjoy relatively at terrain in the latter part of the trip – and were rewarded with breath-taking views from the top. Had we walked in the opposite direction, our summit views on Day 4 would have been marred by misty cloud.

On top of the exposed Panekire Bluff, looking out over the windswept water, I imagined what it would be like if my backpack was a parachute – I could run off the edge and take in the endless views like a bird. Such a majestic sight, but after several seles and group photos, we were pleased to retreat back to the bush and away from the biting wind, and enjoy the walk along the undulating ridgeline to Panekire Hut. With our large group and some other groups walking in the opposite direction, it was a full house and we spent a cosy evening getting to know one another. How exhilarating to be perched on the side of a mountain in an aging, back country hut that had suddenly become a hive of bustle and buzz.

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The writer at the 'must-see' Korokoro Falls

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Back to lake level Day 2 dawned with the renowned Urewera mist hanging moodily over the lake and, with raincoats ready, we set off for our easy day – just 8km and mostly downhill. I loved this part – the track ambling through ancient forest while that broody mist ngered its way through the branches as though eves-dropping on hushed conversations; ecks of coloured clothing splattering across the shades of green; and birds tweeting, unseen, in the frosty backdrop.

By the time we reached Waiopaoa hut at lake level, the sun was out and we risked a refreshing dip. Because we'd made good time we decided to walk up to Korokoro Falls after lunch, which would save us at least an hour on our big walk the following day. The waterfall – a sheer plunge surrounded by pristine bush – and the 30 minute walk up, including a fun river crossing, were absolutely worth the effort and helped us work up a hearty appetite for our evening meal, another 'Masterchef' creation from one of our group, this time involving fresh lime and coconut milk powder – my latest fav tramping ingredient!

Note to self – always take a topographical map! An elevation diagram led us to believe the next two days were relatively at, yet given the number of bays and inlets en route, we would obviously have to climb up and over the headlands. Of course, these inclines rewarded us with glorious lake views and the numerous rest stops allowed us to pause and take in the sights, smells and sounds of the forest around us. It was however a more challenging day than expected, so arriving late afternoon at the fabulous new 40-bunk Waiharuru Hut was a relief.

By evening the temperature had plummeted, and with wood burner ablaze we were toasty warm as we read books, drank tea, shared stories and enjoyed another tasty meal.

Staying at Waiharuru Hut meant we could easily manage the two-hour walk out next morning to catch the 10am water taxi back across the lake (note, some trampers walk another 4km to the trail end at Hopuruahine Landing). As we motored across the wind-whipped water, we tried to look back on where we had been – maybe a hut we had stayed in, or a bay we had passed – but the detail was lost in the vastness and those hidden treasures were once again concealed, waiting for the next intrepid traveller to peel back a corner and venture in. n

Facts l

Lake Waikaremoana is the North Island’s deepest lake at 256m and sits 600m above sea level.

l

Distance from Rotorua: 158km; distance from Wairoa: 63km

l

Walk the track in 3-4 days; there are several hut and campsite options

l

Guided walks are available

l

Water taxi services run between various points on the lake – book in advance

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Business Section Business Section “If you can push through that feeling of being scared, that feeling of taking a risk, really amazing things can happen.”

Marissa Mayer, President & CEO of Yahoo!

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focus | BUSINESS

Would your business pass a

Warrant of

Fitness?

Words Michelle Oldfield

Understanding the financial impact of every decision made prior to making it puts real power in the hands of the business owner – and that's something we all strive to achieve.

Here are five things to consider as a business owner 1. Do you know where you're heading?

It's important to have a clear road map to determine the direc on you want your business to go in. Crea ng a business plan provides an overall picture of your expecta ons and objec ves, and details how you expect to achieve your goals.

It also sets out how you will gauge your success to help you stay on track.

2. Do you have the right team on board? Is each person in the right seat to drive the business in the right direc on?

Having clarity around all roles will help ensure that your employees have the required skill set and work experience for their posi on as well as a clear understanding of how the various roles work together to achieve overall business success. We all like challenges and the opportunity to develop our careers. Sharing your vision for the business with your team will ensure you are all working towards one goal, as well as helping your team to iden fy opportuni es for their career development.

If you don't already have them, consider introducing KPIs (Key Performance Indicators) to ensure each person's performance is contribu ng directly toward the overall business objec ves. Providing regular feedback against these KPIs will give them a clear picture of how they are performing.

And remember, we all appreciate a bit of fun – a treat or reward to celebrate success will never go astray. Your staff are valuable – they're a key asset that is hard to replace. Not only do they hold important knowledge about your business, they have probably also built las ng customer rela onships.

3. Ensure customers are happy with your products and service. Would they refer you to a friend?

One unhappy customer can do your business a huge amount of damage, especially in today's social media-based world.

Get clear on exactly what it is your customers expect from you and consider ways to tailor your offering to meet these needs while s ll achieving your profit objec ves. Perhaps you could review your posi oning – are you a er high volume at low margin, or do you provide a specialised service at a higher margin? Your business environment will con nue to change so it's important to stay in touch with what works best for you, and your customer.

4. Look for ways to improve your cashflow While it's good to grow and work towards improved profitability, bear in mind that this can have a nega ve impact on cashflow, especially in the early stages. There are various op ons that can help reduce this pressure, ensuring you have funds available when required. For example, could you find ways to improve opera onal expenses or reduce the amount of cash ed up in inventory or work-in-progress? Is it possible to extend the period of bill payments, or to shorten customers' credit terms?

5. Is your business also your re rement fund? If so, how will you maximise the value for when the me comes me to sell?

At the beginning of your journey, have a clear picture of the business value you're aiming for and develop your business plan towards achieving this goal. This will help you to assess any future opportuni es and guide you in working towards your re rement goals. It can be difficult to fill the value gap before re rement approaches so the more clarity you have around your exit plan the be er. Maximising the value of your business will help you to enjoy your re rement and will also leave your successor in a stronger posi on. n

Michelle Oldfield

is an Associate at Benne s Proac ve Chartered Accountants

0800 B PROACTIVE | benne sproac ve.co.nz

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focus | COMMUNICATION

The four-letter word we need to stop saying Laura Tuck explores the one innocent word threatening credibility in conversations the world over – ladies, take note…

Not 'just' a word Think back to the last email you sent. Chances are, you may have opened with something like “I just wanted to check in…”, “Just wondering if…” or “I'm just following up on…”

We don't even realise we're doing it. Saying 'just' before we ask a question or make a statement is a natural way of trying to minimise the perceived imposition we're making on someone. The trouble is, it's also undermining our credibility as professionals.

Why it's harmful In a nutshell, this four-letter 'permission' word has the power to hand over the metaphorical reins to the person you're speaking to and grant them higher levels of authority and control. If you look at the following statements closely, you'll see the impact of using the word 'just' out of habit rather than necessity:

“I just wanted to let you know that I checked out the report…”

“I checked out the report...”

In the rst version, beginning your sentence with 'just' automatically implies you're inconveniencing the other person with your message. Before the recipient even reads the body of your email they sense your apology for interrupting them which, unfortunately, does little to position you as an equal (let alone one that exudes condence!).

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The second version is more concise and straightforward.

Being direct doesn't mean being rude. Remember, this is work. You're doing your job. They're doing their job. You don't need to justify your email or butter up a request.

‘Just' is especially detrimental when you're delegating as it can cloud your authority. It can also undermine your wins in the workplace – saying 'I just thought I'd try something new and it just solved the problem' isn't going to get you the recognition you deserve as you're subtly sending a signal that your work isn't as valuable or worthy of praise.

Why we do it Former Google exec Ellen Petry Leanse says it's one of those words we simply use out of habit – a warm-up to a request, an apology for interrupting, a shy knock on a door before asking 'can I get something I need from you?'

Unfortunately, it's also a habit that can be difcult to break. In the same way we immediately say 'sorry' when someone bumps into us (despite the fact the other person was in the wrong) we use 'just' as a reex word – and for some reason, it makes us feel better about asking for something that we actually have every right to ask for.

focus | COMMUNICATION

Why women are more prone to 'just-ing' Women are stepping up and taking their place at the boardroom table with men, but there's no denying our communication styles are totally different. Men are more direct with their language, whereas women are culturally conditioned to be empathetic to the needs of others well before their own.

We use more emojis, emoticons and exclamation points, and we're also more likely to use words and phrases that soften an opinion or gently undermine a point in order to make others feel more comfortable. How many times have you said something like 'I'm no expert…' before giving your opinion? Or asking 'does that make sense?' before continuing an explanation? Probably more than you realise.

The disparity in how we communicate can make things challenging for women looking to get ahead in their careers, especially in workplaces dominated by men.

The good news? It's 2018 and females are ghting harder than ever to be seen and be heard.

Remember, ladies – you have power, so start using it and stop apologising for it.

To 'just' or not to 'just' Effective communication – whether in person, via email or over the phone – is vital to building respectful, mutually-benecial relationships regardless of what industry you're in.

The next time you see the word 'just' creep into your emails, consider why you wrote it. To soften a critique?

To let the person know that you aren't angry for some reason? The same goes for exclamation points and smiley faces. If you re-write your message and express yourself in other ways, it's more than likely you'll begin to notice your communication skills becoming sharper.

Here are some tips to help you get started:

1

Focus on written communication rst

Before looking at telephone or face-to-face conversation, take time to re-read your emails to colleagues and clients. Quite often you'll nd the culprit lurking right at the beginning of your message (à la 'just checking in to see if…'). Remove it.

Smiley faces and exclamation points also have their place, and when used in the right context, can help to build relationships and express feelings. However, it's important to stop and think about when and why you are using them – constantly packing emails full of uffy niceties out of habit can be seen as unprofessional.

It may take a while to get the hang of proong and editing emails before hitting send, but after a few weeks it will become second nature. It's incredibly empowering to stop relying on a security blanket of permission words that dilute your message.

2

Stop apologising when it's not necessary

Apologies are inescapably linked with our conception of politeness. While it's great to be polite, there's a difference between respectful communication and language that sends a subtle message of subordination – and when this type of communication starts to affect our ability to be taken seriously as a professional, we need to start making some changes.

Reserve the use of 'I'm sorry' for when you've done something wrong. Don't apologise for doing your job, taking people's time, offering something of value or asking for something you need – try saying 'thank you' instead!

3

Learn from those around you

Surround yourself with successful women you respect and admire. Read their emails carefully and take note of how they hold themselves during conversation with others. Chances are they're friendly but not excessively polite, rm but not aggressive. Taking inspiration from those around you is a great way to master your own communication style. Make it a priority to connect with and empower other women in your industry – supporting each other is the best way to succeed.

At the end of the day, shining a light on how we use the word 'just' is all about creating awareness. It's not about eliminating certain words from your vocabulary, it's about learning to communicate with conviction. I challenge you to get creative with your language (sans 'just') and see whether you notice a boost to your selfcondence, a fresh perspective on your relationships or simply enjoy your voice being heard a little louder. n

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focus | PRDUCTIVITY

7 time-tested ways

to be more effective at work Words Kseniia Spodyneiko

We all have those busy days, when tasks pile up into a skyscraper of things to do, but if things are piling up regularly, it's probably time to come up with a new approach to getting the job done. The goal is to waste less time, while doing more. These apps and techniques effectively boost productivity and, I admit, are so exciting to follow.

Pomodoro

This is the easiest technique to implement into your daily routine.

Instead of trying to 'eat an elephant' in one go, the Pomodoro technique encourages you to break work down into achievable slices that are, guratively, easier to chew.

The idea is to set a timer for 25 minutes and focus on doing only one specic task – no distractions from urgent mails and no Facebook updates (unless that is your current task). When the timer goes off, take a 5 minute break.

It can be hard to stay focused for the whole day, but you'll be surprised how much can be done in 25 minutes. This popular time management method was invented by Francesco Cirillo and named after the tomato-shaped kitchen timer he used when he was a student ('pomodoro' is Italian for 'tomato').

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focus | PRDUCTIVITY

Kanban

It comes as no surprise that one of the most efcient scheduling systems in the world was created in Japan! In the late 1940s Taiichi Ohno, an engineer at Toyota, developed Kanban to improve manufacturing performance.

Translated from Japanese as 'visual signal' or 'card', Kanban is nothing more than sticky notes on a whiteboard.

Divide the board into three parts: To Do, Doing and Done. Allocate different coloured sticky notes to the types of work you have to do, e.g. yellow for reports, green for clients and blue for meetings. Place new tasks on the board each Monday and review them on Friday.

The key principle of Kanban is to limit the number of each colour on the board, which means you can't add new client notes until all the previous ones are successfully relocated to the 'Done' column. This is the perfect way to stop procrastinating on those nasty tasks you prefer to postpone until the very last second. Depending on your workow, you would have three-ve tasks for each colour.

Trello

Trello is the 21 s t Century online reincarnation of Kanban. It's a website and app that allows you to create general boards of any type, and to add and edit smaller tasks in each of them.

Start with 'Things to do today', 'This week' and 'Sometime', and begin prioritising. The beauty of Trello is being able to organise the boards in your own personal convenient way. It may be days of the week with daily schedules that you want to break into smaller tasks, or global things like 'Annual report' and 'Business trip to NYC', or maybe you prefer to allocate each board to a client you're currently managing. Play with your Trello and get organised.

P.S. I certainly don't mind a 'Holiday' board in mine every now and then!

Don't Break The Chain

The idea behind this method is to make some actions habitual … let's say, you fail to answer emails on time. Well, start today and after replying to all your messages, tick off the day with a big red cross on your calendar. Do the same thing the next day. And then the next day. See, you already have three beautiful crosses, symbolising your consistency. Now go for it and Don't Break The Chain! Starting with one habit, you can later incorporate new ones – how about a big blue cross for a report each Friday? Because chains can also be weekly, fortnightly and monthly.

The goal is to waste less time, while doing more.

Orrange New Tab

If you're using Google Chrome, this will be your new best friend. Install it for free, connect it to Gmail, Google Calendar, Todoist, Wunderlist, Trello, Asana, GitHub, Pocket and other apps and websites you're using to see all your tasks, meetings and deadlines on one dashboard. No more extra clicks!

You can also add new goals and notes to this epic to-do list manually.

The Stoplight Method

Let's admit it, most productivity tools focus so much on planning and scheduling that you feel exhausted way before achieving the goal! Though The Stoplight Method requires a bit of planning, it's the one that will actually make you cross off the tasks.

Prepare three lists: 'Red' for urgent tasks, 'Yellow' for the ones you need to complete within two-three days, 'Green' for the rest. Now forget the last two and focus on the red list! Only move to the yellow one once every task in the red list is complete. Quickly shift tasks from yellow to red or from green to yellow every morning; utilise Excel or Word for that – it saves so much time!

The 10-Minute Rule

A lifesaver for avid procrastinators! It's not exactly a technique, more of a way to nally get yourself into doing something useful. If you nd yourself procrastinating for quite a while already, think of any task you need to do and commit to doing it for 10 minutes. You can stop then if you want.

Not too scary, right? The secret is that 10 minutes is usually enough to get 'into the zone'. Most probably you'll realise the task isn't as bad as it seemed and you are happy to continue. Or, you can always take a deserved break and repeat! n

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The Last Page Name: Jeanette Mindham Company: Tauranga Chamber of Commerce Position: Engagement Coordinator I am a people person and thrive on building relationships with people across all environments and cultures to achieve great results. In my current role I work with trainers to provide workshops, showcase businesses and people, and organise networking events. The Chamber is all about supporting local businesses and building capability by providing a range of business services. We are also about connecting people and run various events through our sub networking groups, like Small Business Tauranga, LinkT and the Business Women’s Network (BWN). I am the key contact for BWN and, together with the committee, organise events to educate, inspire and promote women in business.

What have you been reading?

Tell us about a fabulous book you have read in the last six months.

I recently enjoyed reading Sam Bourne's novel To Kill the President – it was captivating and thought provoking as it aligned very closely with the current state of political events in the United States.

What’s at the top of your bucket list?

Before I had children, I travelled a lot and visited many different parts of the world. South America though is one continent I have yet to explore. Top of my bucket list would be doing the Machu Picchu trail and visiting the Aztec ruins. A close second would be scuba diving in Belize.

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What do you love most about living in the Bay? We are so lucky here with so many wonderful places that we can go to without having to spend much money.

We have an amazing coastline to enjoy, fantastic walks in scenic reserves like Mauo or Otanewainuku and great parks like Te Puna Quarry, and more recently some fantastic cycle ways. With all the opportunities we have here I really do believe that it is the ‘Bay of Plenty’.

How about the region’s vibe?

There is a great vibe in the region especially as we experience growth and attract new people with new ideas. Meeting people and hearing about the inspirational ideas they have, or work they're doing, is one of the aspects I really enjoy about my role. There's a feeling of positivity, of people wanting to support each other.

It gives me a real buzz to hear about the business opportunities that have arisen from people meeting at our events.

If you could hop back 20 years, what would you say to your younger self?

It was just under 20 years ago when I met my husband after I tripped over a step at a pub in South London. He played the English gentleman and kindly helped me to my feet and we have been together ever since. So, I could say I would tell myself to "Mind the step!", however I wouldn't be where I am today with two amazing daughters and all the wonderful experiences I have had.

What new innovations or developments are you looking forward to seeing in the Bay one day?

I am hoping that we nd an innovative approach to address the growing transport problem in the region. We need to look beyond just improving roading infrastructure and come up with something alternative that will provide a reliable, environmentally friendly and convenient transport solution.

2018

Focus on Women Expo

Are you ready for a fabulous, fun day out with friends?

Join us at the 2018 Focus on Women Expo – 27-28 October in Tauranga Like our magazine, the Focus on Women Expo will empower, enlighten, inspire and inform women in our region.

Bring yourself or bring the family, or get your girlfriends together. At the expo you can: Try a new ac vity – you might discover a new passion Listen to inspira onal speakers – a range of successful businesswomen will run expo seminars during the weekend Meet like-minded, enthusias c women – chat with exhibitors and expo visitors Shop for something awesome – lots of local Bay of Plenty businesses will be showing and selling their products Take a relaxing break – we’ll have some pampering delights in store for you!

Business owners

– don't miss this opportunity to promote your fabulous business to women in the region.

For bookings and further informa on – call Dee today.

ASB Arena | 27-28 October, 2018 Book your stand today.

Contact Dee Collins for further informa on: dee@focusmagazine.co.nz Mobile: 021 535 770 | focusmagazine.co.nz

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