By John Panella and Joe Widman
RHEUMATISM PART ONE: Warming up to the marvels of total quackery Starting with the campaign of Andrew Jackson, the term “The Age Of The Common Man” was coined. At the time, common sentiments included anti-intellectualism, rejection of scientific experts and the fervent belief that the common man was the best person to decide his own destiny, even in matters of life and death. A consequence of this was the rapid growth of competing and well-advertised “cure-alls,” which continued throughout the Golden Age Of American Medicine. Much of the medicine out there was poison. This month we choose to look at a few historical examples. Popular medicines of the day were produced mainly by individuals with a lack of education or medical knowledge, and by shrewd, dishonest entrepreneurs. Promotional techniques were expanded and elaborated as the common man just sought relief from pains. British exporters brought remedies like “Turlington’s Balsam of Life” and “Hooper’s Female Pills” to American shores. These were sold by postmasters, printers and apothecaries, and Americans grew accustomed to their distinctive names and the shapes of their packages and bottles. During the American Revolution, imitations of most of these nostrums were produced, similar in name and even the shapes of the bottles, along with copied labeling. Knock-off brands were made to look similar when, in fact, they were often not even good fakes. Doctors were expensive, too costly for the working man and considered as “one-trick ponies” ready to perform gruesome and murderous acts of bleeding and purging. Nostrum makers often described them as heartless brutes armed with scalpels and mercurial purges.
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Antique Bottle & Glass Collector
Patent medicines were effective. Their ingredients almost always consisted of psychotropic and stimulant components, which brought about a feeling of wellbeing to allay pain, fear and anxiety. Alcohol and other effective stimulants were mixed with a wide array of toxic and narcotic, even nuclear radioactive ingredients. “If you feel troubled by something and you try our product we guarantee a full refund if you are not entirely satisfied with our cure/remedy.” That was said a lot and not many people at all returned their narcoticspiked, high-alcohol “cure” compound.
Now, let’s look at some of their products, advertising and tall tales of deceit. Some favorites of mine follow. The graphics and advertising really tell the story.
Yes, it worked! The curative effects did not last forever, so instructions specified to repeat the dose when it seemed ineffective or whenever needed. It’s made to please the customer, till the bitter end. Relief was always just a dose away.
He is Now in the City and Explains the Nature of the Discovery
Dr. Plouf ’s Rheumatic Cure Text taken from the MORNING CALL, San Francisco, Friday Oct. 21, 1892: A GREAT DISCOVERY A Cure for Rheumatism now a Known Fact Dr. Plouf Achieves Honor
The term rheumatism is an old-fashioned word used to describe problems that affect the joints and connective tissues. It is an auto-immune condition, which means it is caused by the immune system attacking healthy body tissue. It is unknown what triggers this condition. Normally, your immune system makes antibodies that attack bacteria and viruses, helping to fight infection.
A gentleman arrived in this city a few days ago who has distinguished himself by making a discovery that ranks as the most important one recorded in the annals of medical science for a number of years. Dr. J.E. Plouf is his name, and he is the fortunate mortal whom the fates have ordained to give to the world the only known cure for rheumatism. For generations the medical fraternity has been wrestling with this malady, as they have with consumption and other supposed incurable ailments, but it remained for Dr. Plouf of Seattle to come to the front with a medicine that is destined to make rheumatism as scarce as cholera cases in this “glorious climate.”
There is no known cure for rheumatism in today’s world of medicine. We have assembled some pictures of labeled rheumatic patent medicines. Most of them provide the proof right on the bottle and advertising that they will cure the incurable. It is a world of false advertising, phony testimonials and quack physicians and patent medicine companies, all trying to habituate you to their products. While laughing all the way to the bank, all these individuals were referred to in old-fashioned terminology as “Toadstool Millionaires.”
This gentleman, whose name will soon be probably as well known as Dr. Koch and Pasteur, is just from Seattle, which city he has been electrifying the past year through the remarkable curative properties of this remedy. A Chronicle representative was detailed yesterday to obtain fuller information concerning the nature of the new discovery, for the published accounts and reports that reached this city from Seattle were so remarkable in character as to be almost incredible. Dr. Plouf was found in his office in the Nucleus block, and he readily places at the disposal of the reporter information of
Rheumatism: what is it?
