Medicine Chest: Rheumatism

By John Panella and Joe Widman

RHEUMATISM

PART ONE: Warming up to the marvels of total quackery

Starting with the campaign of Andrew Jackson, the term “The Age Of The Common Man” was coined. At the time, common sentiments included anti-intellectualism, rejection of scientific experts and the fervent belief that the common man was the best person to decide his own destiny, even in matters of life and death. A consequence of this was the rapid growth of competing and well-advertised “cure-alls,” which continued throughout the Golden Age Of American Medicine. Much of the medicine out there was poison. This month we choose to look at a few historical examples.

Popular medicines of the day were produced mainly by individuals with a lack of education or medical knowledge, and by shrewd, dishonest entrepreneurs. Promotional techniques were expanded and elaborated as the common man just sought relief from pains.

British exporters brought remedies like “Turlington’s Balsam of Life” and “Hooper’s Female Pills” to American shores. These were sold by postmasters, printers and apothecaries, and Americans grew accustomed to their distinctive names and the shapes of their packages and bottles.

During the American Revolution, imitations of most of these nostrums were produced, similar in name and even the shapes of the bottles, along with copied labeling. Knock-off brands were made to look similar when, in fact, they were often not even good fakes. Doctors were expensive, too costly for the working man and considered as “one-trick ponies” ready to perform gruesome and murderous acts of bleeding and purging. Nostrum makers often described them as heartless brutes armed with scalpels and mercurial purges. Patent medicines were effective. Their ingredients almost always consisted of psychotropic and stimulant components, which brought about a feeling of wellbeing to allay pain, fear and anxiety. Alcohol and other effective stimulants were mixed with a wide array of toxic and narcotic, even nuclear radioactive ingredients. “If you feel troubled by something and you try our product we guarantee a full refund if you are not entirely satisfied with our cure/remedy.” That was said a lot and not many people at all returned their narcoticspiked, high-alcohol “cure” compound.

Yes, it worked! The curative effects did not last forever, so instructions specified to repeat the dose when it seemed ineffective or whenever needed. It’s made to please the customer, till the bitter end. Relief was always just a dose away.

Rheumatism: what is it?

The term rheumatism is an old-fashioned word used to describe problems that affect the joints and connective tissues. It is an auto-immune condition, which means it is caused by the immune system attacking healthy body tissue. It is unknown what triggers this condition. Normally, your immune system makes antibodies that attack bacteria and viruses, helping to fight infection.

There is no known cure for rheumatism in today’s world of medicine. We have assembled some pictures of labeled rheumatic patent medicines. Most of them provide the proof right on the bottle and advertising that they will cure the incurable. It is a world of false advertising, phony testimonials and quack physicians and patent medicine companies, all trying to habituate you to their products. While laughing all the way to the bank, all these individuals were referred to in old-fashioned terminology as “Toadstool Millionaires.” Now, let’s look at some of their products, advertising and tall tales of deceit. Some favorites of mine follow. The graphics and advertising really tell the story.

Dr. Plouf’s Rheumatic Cure

Text taken from the MORNING CALL, San Francisco, Friday Oct. 21, 1892:

A GREAT DISCOVERY

A Cure for Rheumatism now a Known Fact

Dr. Plouf Achieves Honor He is Now in the City and Explains the Nature of the Discovery

A gentleman arrived in this city a few days ago who has distinguished himself by making a discovery that ranks as the most important one recorded in the annals of medical science for a number of years. Dr. J.E. Plouf is his name, and he is the fortunate mortal whom the fates have ordained to give to the world the only known cure for rheumatism. For generations the medical fraternity has been wrestling with this malady, as they have with consumption and other supposed incurable ailments, but it remained for Dr. Plouf of Seattle to come to the front with a medicine that is destined to make rheumatism as scarce as cholera cases in this “glorious climate.”

This gentleman, whose name will soon be probably as well known as Dr. Koch and Pasteur, is just from Seattle, which city he has been electrifying the past year through the remarkable curative properties of this remedy. A Chronicle representative was detailed yesterday to obtain fuller information concerning the nature of the new discovery, for the published accounts and reports that reached this city from Seattle were so remarkable in character as to be almost incredible. Dr. Plouf was found in his office in the Nucleus block, and he readily places at the disposal of the reporter information of

AN ARRAY OF RHEUMATISM REMEDIES

PHOTOS (clockwise from top left):

An embossed Dr. Plouf's Rheumatism Cure. Dr. Plouf's Rheumatism Cure with label, very scarce. Hanford's / Celery Cure / or / Nerve Food / Cures / Rheumatism / Neuralgia / Insomnia. Collection of Gordon Hugi Denn's Sure, Safe Speedy Liver, Kidney, Rheumatism Remedy. Image from the collection of Gordon Hugi Labeled Donnell's Rheumatic Liniment bottle with box. Image courtesy of Gordon Hugi

By John Panella and Joe Widman

a positive character which thoroughly convinced the reporter that scientific knowledge and rigorous testing had tested the medicine to be a sure cure for rheumatic ailments. The Chronicle investigator was also presented with attested notarized statements and various affidavits submitted by a large number of notaries.

Dr. Plouf stated, when asked about the effectiveness of his cure, “I was not really positive that the cure was an infallible one, but after I had tested it on all kinds of cases, some of which were twenty years standing, and the medicine worked like a charm in all of them, I was then convinced that my discovery was more important than I supposed. Its composition is, of course, a secret, but I will say that the treatment is based on a new theory on the origin and nature of rheumatism. The common practice had been to treat it externally. The new remedy works internally.” The reporter was also shown endorsements from the daily press of Seattle and inquiries both from the Far East and Europe for the remedy, showing that the fame of it had gone abroad. “I have yet,” concluded the new medical luminary, “to come across a case which this medicine will not positively cure. It cures not only rheumatism, but it cures all kinds and does it for all time. If the Chronicle can find a person whose rheumatism will not yield to this medicine I will present him with $1,000 in gold.” — San Francisco Chronicle.

And now THE BIG SURPRISE: Who would have figured?

June 19, 1905 - San Francisco Examiner

DR. PLOUF STRUCK THREE TIMES AND KILLED

Dr. Plouf Hit McGaughey Once with his Left Hand and Twice with his Cane Attorney Rael Terry’s Statement of the Process of Manufacturing Dr. Plouf’s Celebrated Rheumatic Cure The prosecution rested yesterday in the case of the people against J.D.L. McGaughey for the killing of Dr. Plouf, and the defense began examination of witnesses”

In these examinations the following was reported regarding the manufacturing of Dr. Plouf’s Rheumatic Cure, through J.D.L. McGaughey’s attorneys statements as follows:

The lawyer narrated the business acquaintance between McGaughey & Dr. Plouf:

McGaughey had come from Seattle in 1893, and met Dr. Plouf. He was then earning $16 a week from a telegraph company and it was on this income that he and his wife lived. McGaughey had saved a little money and through representations of Plouf that they together could make a fortune from the sale of his Rheumatic Cure which McGaughey had invested $200 in the enterprise. McGaughey soon found out that this whole scheme by Dr. Plouf was a fraud. The nostrum consisted of two gallons of ingredients in a barrel, the hose was turned on and 7,000 bottles of Dr. Plouf Rheumatic Cure were produced. When he discovered the fraud McGaughey quit Dr. Plouf, pocketed his loss and engaged in other business.

Dr. Plouf was verbally out of control and violent towards McGaughey. He was slandered, and misrepresented, having false charges made against him wherever he found employment. Abused, vilified, accused, cursed maligned and assaulted McGaughey had enough!

W.M. English, an eye witness, was called to the defense. Shooting of Dr. Plouf took place in front of the Columbia Building on Market Street. His attention was first attracted by a loud conversation between the two men. Dr. Plouf was striking McGaughey once with his hand and twice with his cane. McGaughey fell on to the pavement. As he tried to get up Plouf hit him with his cane in the right hand breaking the cane. McGaughey then fired three shots, then one more. Plouf was still going for McGaughey, eventually collapsing in a pool of blood dead on the ground.

In the San Francisco Examiner - later in 1906 came this news:

McGAUGHEY ACQUITTED -

James McGaughey, the man who was charged with killing “Dr.” Plouf, was fully acquitted and case dismissed, judge ruled the killing to be in self defense.

Shortly after this incident Dr. Plouf’s Rheumatic Cure, due to his demise, was not produced much longer. Maybe it was karma or just rotten luck for another lying Toadstool Millionaire.

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Our picture gallery is eye candy for rheumatism collectors. The included photos are labeled and embossed bottles and advertising representations of patent medicine rheumatism cures and remedies. Read the labels so you can conclude for yourself the effectiveness of these nostrums. None remain on the market. Many of these medicines really contributed to creating today’s wide world of substance abuse. Here's hoping a lesson in history and common sense can be learned. Mistakes not learned from are sure to just repeat themselves.

In next month’s Medicine Chest, Part 2, you will find the conclusion of this topic. Many more cures, all outright poisons, were produced and sold over the counter. There was always a new batch of wicked American quack rheumatism medicines and advertising. We continue in our never-ending quest to expose the realities of old-fashioned pharmaceutical profiteering … and selling poison.

Unless otherwise noted, all images are from the author's collection.

RADIUM REMEDIES

PHOTOS (clockwise from top left):

Radium Emanation Water advertisement. Image courtesy of California Antique Bottle Club member Small bottle with label, containing "Certified Radioactive Water." Image courtesy of California Antique Bottle Club member An interesting example of how radium was used in other advertisements and beyond medicinal applications during the golden age of quackery. Advertisement for "Radium Is Restoring Health." A two-gallon jug containing "Pure-Radium-Water." Labeled Radium Radia bottle with box. It was advertised as the "World's Premier Conqueror of Pain." Radium Hand Cleaner, "Takes Off Everything but the Skin."

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