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Patsy Palmer

‘I’VEHAD SOMUCH THERAPY’ Will she make a full-time return to the UK?

Olly Murs

Shock report

loving The d e v o r ‘I p grans Mum and Dad FROZEN

’ G N O R W

OUT...

Losing Matthew

I’ll never escape this grief

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This week we’re loving

Hello & Welcome To Woman’s Own

It’s been over a year since Linda Robson stepped back from presenting on ITV’s Loose Women, as she took time to focus on her mental health. But the Birds of a Feather star recently made a reappearance on the ITV show and bravely opened up about her battles.

Linda confessed that pills to help her sleep ‘led to a really bad reaction’ and a ‘proper meltdown’, before adding on social media that opening up about OCD, anxiety and depression was one of the scariest things she’s done. She also thanked her co-panellists for their ‘patience and love’, saying, ‘I couldn’t have done it without them. See you all soon.’

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Linda was reunited with her Loose Women co-stars

WHAT’S INSIDE THE ISSUE Celebrity 4

Features

Richard Arnold: The showbiz expert with all the goss just for you 6 ON THE COVER Patsy Palmer reveals she’s had therapy and is grateful to be alive 9 Why we love hilarious Alison Hammond 10 Who wore it best? See which stars look dazzling in deep blue 60 ON THE COVER Olly Murs describes how listening to his mentors has got him where he is

Get in touch

12 Shock read: Tinnitus nearly destroyed me 18 ON THE COVER From the heart: I’ll never escape this grief 32 You’ll never believe it: I felt I was letting my kids down 42 ON THE COVER Behind the headlines: Should grandparents have rights?

50 The way I see it: I make breast milk jewellery 57 Debate: Do we need women-only spaces?

Join us online

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Life & Style

14 ON THE COVER Activewear special: 4 outfits under £50 20 Smart shopping: Treat yourself!

25 Good for you! Smart health choices 28 Healthy eating: Beat winter weight gain 31 ON THE COVER Join a Slimming World group for free!

34 Beauty how to: Skincare worth talking about 38 Michelin-starred chef Tom Kerridge’s fit food

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Your Favourites

16 ON THE COVER Win! A week in Tenerife 17 Our columnist Dawn Neesom has her say 23 Ask the doctor 24 Agony aunt Anita Naik 36 Homes: Bedroom updates 41 Supermarket savers 44 Money matters 46 Travel: Great British breaks 48 Woman’s Own Bingo 54 This week’s TV picks 56 This week’s hot list and stars 58 Puzzles 62 Ask yourself

COVER PHOTO: ALAMY. ON THIS PAGE: INSTAGRAM @LINDAROBSON58

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3

RICHARD AeRekNinOshLoDwb’Siz w

Kym

‘It’s great being a young gran’ got to drive forward.

PHOTOS: GETTY, BACKGRID, PA IMAGES, ITV, INSTAGRAM @JAMIE.REDKNAPP

Kym has been a busy bee Corrie star Kym Marsh is braced for her best year yet after quitting the cobbles!

How’s life out of Weatherfield?

I haven’t stopped! I left and had a short break then went straight into rehearsals for Elf. I also shot [The Loss Adjuster].

The Loss Adjuster stars Luke Goss, Joan Collins and Martin Kemp. Quite a line-up!

I didn’t do any scenes with Joan, all my stuff was with Luke and Martin. Back in the day, I was a fan of them both, so it was a bit weird.

You recently presented For Love or Money about romance fraud. What made you take that on?

I’ve been a victim of online fraud – my identity was stolen and used to con others. Something has to be done to stop it.

Did you watch your last episode in December?

I watched it with some of the cast. I was pleased with the way it played out. It was emotional but I’ve come to terms with it now. I’ll miss the cast and crew.

You became a first-time She’ll miss her Corrie family grandmother last year at just 42. What’s it like?

It’s great because I get to enjoy him. It’s nice to still feel young enough to be a mum.

I bet you had a good send-off!

I had a big party and was overwhelmed by the number of people who came. It’s great the door’s been left open but I can’t think about returning. You’ve

Your boyfriend, Scott Ratcliff, is currently in the Middle East with the Parachute Regiment…

He’s still away. It’s always difficult but you make the most of your situation.

What we’re talking about It’s being touted as the programme that’s ‘saved’ talent competitions, and it’s not ha to see why The Masked Singer has got everyone talking (and guessing). It’s got a bonkers format, but maybe bonkers is just what we need right now…

Who is disguised as Monster?

4 WomansOwn.co.uk

BACKSTAGE GOSS! LEN’S IN MY LENS! Hot on the heels of Dancing On Ice stars Ian Watkins and Matt Evers making history as the contest’s first same-sex couple, I asked Strictly legend Len Goodman if he’d like to see the same on his former show.

‘I’m an old traditionalist, really,’ he says. ‘But if it happens, Len’s keeping then fine, great, let’s go with it! I wouldn’t be offended at all.’ an open mind

Celebrity News

CELEBRITY OF THE WEEK LAURA WHITMORE

Looking good, Jamie!

New Love Island host Laura Whitmore and her beau, comedian Iain Stirling – the voice of the show – have been pals of mine for a while now. I teased Laura that it was a leap year this year, so she could pop the question to Iain on 29 February. Her response? ‘A lady can do that any time of the year, Richard Arnold!’ Guess I won’t be buying that hat any time soon…

Dick’s Pics

You’ve been

PAPPED!

A

Backstage at the Love Island villa in Cape Town, it’s all glamour! Taking advantage of the catering with a good old-fashioned fry-up between takes.

You can take the boy out of Britain and all that!

HAUER POWER Elsewhere in the world of Strictly, pro-dancer Karen Hauer has a new workout plan to help folk get fit at home. ‘This is something I’ve done my whole life,’ she tells me. ‘I love the gym but it takes a lot of your time. At home, you do a quick workout, feel good and get on with your day.’ Time for me Karen works to pull my old dance out at home mat out!

A

Here’s retired footballer Jamie being absolute husband goals. The 46-yearold recently took his boys Charley, 15, and Beau, 11, to Miami – meaning we got to see him in his trunks. Jamie’s on the market after splitting from wife Louise and, while we don’t know what went on between them, we have to ask: Louise, what were you thinking?

With youngest son Beau

WomansOwn.co.uk 5

PATSY

‘I’m grateful that I’m ALIVE

EastEnders icon Patsy Palmer on surviving her past and the chances of slipping into Bianca Jackson’s silver bomber jacket once again atsy Palmer shot to soap stardom in the 90s, alongside the likes of Martine McCutcheon, Sid Owen and Danniella Westbrook. But while Danniella’s personal life has been like something out of EastEnders, Patsy, 47, admits she’s one of the lucky ones.

The star recently stunned viewers of ITV’s The Masked Singer – the show in which celebrities perform in costume before judges attempt to guess who’s behind the mask. Patsy appeared as ‘The Butterfly’ and belted out a fantastic rendition of You’ve Got The Love, proving there’s a lot more to h than meets the eye.

P

These days she lives an A-list life in Malibu – with husband Richard Merkell and children Charley, 27, Fenton, 19, Emilia, 18, and Charley, Bertie, Emilia and Fenton nine-year-old Bertie – where she even goes by her real name of Julie.

But Patsy is honest about the fact that getting there hasn’t been easy. And it’s clear that the temptation of stepping back into Bianca Jackson’s shoes is one that never eally goes away.

THERAPY Martine and Patsy are great friends

Enjoying the party scene in 1998

Co-stars Sid and Danniella

Like many who are catapulted to fame at such a young age – 21 in her case – Patsy hit the party scene and was a regular at ents with her r pals. wasn’t always as ous as it seemed, atsy confesses she’s she escaped a life e drink and drugs e rife. During a ent appearance on ose Women, Patsy so shared her ympathy towards ormer co-star Danniella following

her public battle with cocaine addiction.

She said, ‘Danniella is so sweet. We all went through our own struggles. It was intense.’

In a previous interview Patsy explained, ‘I look back and think, “I was so young.” I’m grateful that I’m alive and got through it. Whatever has gone on in the past has finished. I can’t even entertain it. It’s gone.’

She added, ‘I’ve done so much work around it, I’ve had so much therapy and

Cover Story

‘My life is more balanced than ever’

now I feel like my life is more balanced than it’s ever been.’

LA CALLING

That balance, Patsy has insisted, is down to swapping partying and late nights for yoga and meditation in the Californian sunshine. She’s even carved out a successful career as a DJ – hosting her own club nights at Malibu’s Soho House and regularly rubbing shoulders with the

new life for herself out here. LA has been life-changing for her. Patsy has been DJing all over the place and she is really in demand. Here you can be an EastEnders star and a DJ in a top club, whereas in London that wouldn’t happen.’

Despite her famous connections, Patsy admits that one thing she loves about life across the pond is the chance to go incognito. She says, ‘In LA, I can be myself, I know people have no preconceived ideas of who I am.

I say my name’s Julie Merkell and we just chat about normal stuff.’

But there’s no denying life is far from normal for Patsy. She and her family live in a beach-front mansion that boasts views of Malibu’s West Coast – worlds away from cold and rainy Albert Square…

BACK TO HER ROOTS?

However, it seems Walford still has a hold over Patsy, who shot to fame as Bianca on EastEnders in 1993 before quitting for good in 2014. And, after a brief return last year, it looks as though she’s not ruling out another visit to the Square.

As Bianca’s stepdaughter Whitney Dean, played by Shona McGarty, faces yet more drama and heartbreak, it would make sense for Patsy to make a full-time return and swap likes of model LA for London.

Cindy Crawford.

Appearing on Meanwhile, son Lorraine after her time Fenton and daughter She wowed as on The Masked Singer, Emilia are becoming ‘The Butterfly’ she teased, ‘I don’t know, successful models in I’ve always said if they want their own right, and la me to do some stuff we’ll see what year Fenton was romantically it is. It was pretty positive the last time.’ linked to Cindy’s daughter Kaia Gerber.

We’re keeping everything crossed A source said of Patsy’s Hollywood for a Bianca comeback! makeover, ‘She has been able to create a

WomansOwn.co.uk

WORDS: JACK WHITE. PHOTOS: GETTY, TI-MEDIACONTENT.COM, ALAMY, BBC ONE, INSTAGRAM @PATSYPALMEROFFICIAL

Patsy and Richard love their LA life

7

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Photo fun

We love

Alison!

As the long-standing This Morning star gets her own show, we look back at Alison Hammond’s best moments

Tying the… not Hollywood actor Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson got the Alison treatment when she managed to get him down on one knee holding a ring – which she produced from her bra. Months later, in another interview with Dwayne, a wedding dress-clad Alison made it ‘official’, with specially ordained comedian Kevin Hart ‘ministering’…

First big break

WORDS: JACK WHITE. PHOTOS: ITV, ALAMY

It’s easy to forget Alison rose to fame alongside Jade Goody during series three of Big Brother, but one of her most memorable moments from the show came when she fell through the garden table!

She and eventual winner Kate Lawler were jumping up and down on the table, trying to spot a security guard, when she went through. Oh dear…

All at sea Alison was living her best life in 2017 at a lifeboat launch. She was with the RNLI in Wales for the launch of its Mayday campaign – but also got to test its latest lifeboat. ‘I’m actually really excited,’ Alison said. ‘It looks like one big, massive log flume!’

Making a splash Alison had This Morning viewers in hysterics in 2018 when she presented the weather live from the Royal Albert Dock in Liverpool. Walking on a floating map of the UK, Alison accidentally pushed a crew member into the water as they helped steady her.

Having words with Meghan At Meghan and Harry’s first official royal engagement together, Alison was there to get a few words with the newly engaged couple. After Harry swerved Alison’s advances, she shouted out, ‘Megs! It’s ITV!’ Eventually she got the duchess’s attention, shouting, ‘Congratulations from This Morning!’ Ever polite, Meghan responded, ‘Thank you so much.’

The hard stuff During an interview with actors Harrison Ford and Ryan Gosling, who were promoting the film Blade Runner 2049, Alison broke the usual rules for chatting to Hollywood stars when she had them cracking open the whisky – and before midday at that!

WomansOwn.co.uk

9

WHO WORE

COMPILED BY: MILLIE GOOCH. PHOTOS: GETTY

Our fashion team reveal which star re

Katherine Jenkins 39 M leene Klass 41 New mum Myleene goes for a chic velvet tailored tux and looks oh-so glam. Add statement sandals, a lace cami and simple accessories.

10

WomansOwn.co.uk

We can’t get enough of Katherine’s sparkling cobalt number. The sheer bottom and beautiful beading are the perfect way to show some skin.

Emilia Clarke 33 Not a dress fan? A skirt and top combo can still look ultra glamorous. This unusual one-shoulder design is very figure flattering as well.

Fashion Trends

IT BEST?

ally nailed the latest look

Shades of blue 0 sorize

Wear it

UR WAY

£35 sizes 6-18, Very

Michelle Pfeiffe 61 Nothing says luxury like velvet and Michelle looks ultra luxurious in this navy frock. Keeping her accessories minimal, she adds some bling with a pair of statement earrings.

Jenni Falcone 43 Presenter Jenni goes for full-on lace and even takes a walk on the wild side with her snakeskin stilettos.

The contrasting bag brings the outfit together nicely.

£58 sizes 6-22, Next

0 on

The noise in my head nearly

destroyed me For Liz Wilde, a shocking accident was the first in a series of traumatic events

A

lthough I have always been a naturally optimistic person, one evening two years ago I found myself saying to my partner in a calm, matter-of-fact voice, ‘If nothing has changed in six months, I’m going to have to kill myself.’ I was referring to the tinnitus sound in my ears – an internal wind tunnel that constantly blew through my head.

The Ear, Nose and Throat consultant had blamed stress and said the noise would lessen if I stopped listening for it.

Unfortunately, my brain had become so alert to even the most innocuous threat, I could have heard a pin drop in the next room. Something fundamental had changed in my personality. I have worked as a life coach for almost 20 years, helping clients navigate through difficult times. My profession is to problem-solve.

I had always prided myself on being able to rebound from life’s challenges, but the previous four months had drained my resources dry.

only to discover the true extent of my injuries once my morphine bubble burst.

Every muscle in my body ached, and I counted the hours before I could take my next assortment of painkillers. My father was still in hospital with complications.

Three weeks later, I received a phone call telling me to come immediately. They were turning off his life support. The last time I saw my father alive is lost to me in a blur of tramadol and tears.

A few days after his funeral, I discovered a lump in my left breast.

I waited two weeks for a hospital appointment, then another week for an ultrasound, as I was unable to lift my arm high enough for the mammogram. There were more tears as they told me the lump was a swollen lymph node, caused by the hot water bottle I clutched each night to ease my pain. I fought to stay positive, but was mentally and physically exhausted. It was around this time I started to hear unusual sounds.

The doctor diagnosed an ear infection and prescribed drops, but my internal hum only increased. My partner booked a two-week holiday in Spain and, determined to enjoy myself, I paid to see a private consultant who delivered the tinnitus blow. Walking out of my appointment, I opened an email informing me I was being made redundant from the weekly magazine column I had written for 22 years. My

WORDS: LIZ WILDE © YOU MAGAZINE PHOTO: VICTORIA ADAMSON/SOLO SYNDICATION

‘My internal hum only increased’

12

WomansOwn.co.uk

Where it began It all started when I was searching for a light switch at night in an unfamiliar rental house. I lost my bearings and tumbled down 18 steep stairs, shattering my left elbow on impact. While I was having elbow-replacement surgery, my 87-yearold father also had a fall and was taken to hospital. I was discharged a week later,

innate optimism deserted me, so I made the decision to use my forced sabbatical to strengthen my reserves. Unfortunately, my brain had other ideas. For the next 18 months, I lived in a state of perpetual hyper-vigilance. I had lost my mobility, my father, my job and my ability to experience silence – all in less than four months. What was going to happen next?

I saw potential danger everywhere.

Desperation My tinnitus became more obtrusive, affecting my sleep and concentration.

I had cancelled all my coaching clients after my accident, and now wondered if I would ever work again. I could hardly hear myself think – who was I to help anyone else anyway?

In desperation, I bought a book called The Untethered Soul by Michael A Singer. He advises spending a day listening to your internal dialogue, to notice what ‘your inner roommate’ is saying in each situation.

It only took me a few hours to realise my ‘roommate’ was permanently frightened, and her incessant neurotic

Real Life Shock read

chatter had taken over my life. I was getting lost in fearful prophecies. From the minor (my dripping bath tap magnified into a leak that would bring the ceiling down) to the major (if my partner was more than five minutes late, I panicked, imagining an accident).

Instead of fighting these thoughts, Singer told me to observe them.

I imagined sitting on a sofa at the back of my mind, watching my thoughts pass in front of me, without trying to change them. Sometimes this was deeply uncomfortable.

My fearful thoughts felt like a rubber ball ricocheting around inside my head, but if I forced myself to stay relaxed, eventually the ball would lose speed and stop.

I was beginning to see life was not as fragile as the voice in my head had led me to believe. I had been so busy defending myself from imaginary demons. I needed to stop letting my nervous ‘roommate’ run my life.

Then I read The Little Book of Clarity

by Jamie Smart and had my light-bulb

moment. Smart told me that our experience of life is created by our thoughts. This was the reason why one day I was able to dismiss my tinnitus as a mild annoyance, and another day feel all-consumed by it.

The issue wasn’t that I sometimes heard noises in my head. The problem was that I told myself those noises meant there was something seriously wrong with me. If a problem seemed insurmountable one day, but a week later was barely a footnote, what did that say? That it wasn’t the problem causing me to feel that way, but my way of thinking about it.

Life immediately felt lighter.

I saw I could dislike a situation but know my wellbeing was not fundamentally at risk.

Ever since I’d been told in the hospital I was lucky to be alive, every obstacle had felt as though I was fighting for my life.

Now I understood – I had been scaring myself rigid for two years by creating a terrifying version of reality that wasn’t

‘I’d been scaring myself rigid’

real. It was just a projection of my anxious thoughts. I had been stuck in a habitual pattern of negative thinking, ‘I am damaged by what has happened to me’, ‘I can’t live with this internal noise’ – and fallen into the trap of believing that it was true.

Regaining strength As I began to understand how my mind worked, these pessimistic thoughts dropped away.

I could still get upset or angry, but now I knew it was my choice to continue down that rabbit hole. And it made less sense to do so. With literally less on my mind, I felt calmer than I had done since my accident – perhaps even before it.

I have now resumed coaching and love sharing everything I have learnt with my clients. I can go days without hearing my tinnitus, and when it turns up a notch, I no longer feel a knot in my stomach.

I know an agitated feeling just means agitated thinking – nothing more. The best thing I can do is gently remind myself there is nothing wrong with me. I am as strong as I ever was. I am free.

WomansOwn.co.uk 13

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Workout video

14

Just because you prefer to burn your calories in the comfort of your own home doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t own a fabulous kit.

This will certainly help you get into the right head space, rather than getting sweaty in a pair of old jogging bottoms or your PJs. Inject a fun pop of colour with these bold printed leggings.

Sports bra, £10, sizes s-xl, leggings, £14, sizes 8-18, both Matalan; Tote bag, £10, Sweaty Betty; Yoga socks, £6.49, workoutforless.co.uk; Yoga mat, £7.99, corebalancefitness.co.uk

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Because budgeting is hard, we make your clothes shopping easy

Swimming If you’re a swimmer or at least have the best intentions to become one, ditch the holiday swimsuit and invest in a sports version.

Chlorine-proof and made from advanced technical materials, like this one from Next, they are designed to last twice as long as regular swimwear.

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Top, £15, sizes 6-22, NX sports trainers, £16, both Next; Sports bra, £3.99, sizes s-l, Decathlon; Leggings, £14, sizes 8-18, Matalan

OUTFIT TOTAL

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OUTFIT TOTAL

£49.99 WomansOwn.co.uk 15

Reader Competition By night the coast has a magical air

Lush vegetation is thriving

WIN!

A holiday to Tenerife A refreshing holiday, thanks to Neutradol

N

eutradol, the fresh air specialist with a product for every smelly situation, is giving away the chance to win a fantastic holiday to Tenerife.

Beaches galore, a dramatic dormant volcano and glorious year-round sun make Tenerife the perfect holiday destination. Hotel Sol will be your base for a week to enjoy the sunshine with your lucky partner if you win.

Located in the heart of the tourist resort of Puerto de la Cruz, you will be a hop away from the Playa Martianez beach, and just 500 metres away from Plaza del Charco and the small fishing port of Puerto de la Cruz. Seawater pools are also just a short stroll away.

Why not pack a good book and soak up the sun while unwinding or take a dip in the inviting swimming pool before returning home revitalised and refreshed?

At home it can’t always feel as fresh as being on holiday in Tenerife. Unpleasant smells can linger, and

16

WomansOwn.co.uk

even professional cleaning may not shift the bacteria that cause them. Covering them up with a cosmetic air freshener, full of unpleasant chemicals, isn’t the answer.

Hygienic and safe Neutradol destroys the molecules that cause bad odours while other major brand air fresheners cover them up with synthetic perfume.

You can now buy the new improved Neutradol, which uses the latest science to eliminate the molecules that cause bad odours for your home, work or car.

Neutradol keeps on destroying smells long after other air fresheners have stopped working. Fresh air is available from Neutradol, with new packaging, in Original, Super Fresh and new fragrance Fresh Pink, all in Spray, Gel and Carpet Powder. There are also specific products for smelly dustbins and Deofab for fabrics. ● To find the range of Neutradol products and for a chance to win a holiday to Barbados, visit neutradol.com.

Wouldn’t you like to relax by this pool?

HOW TO ENTER

Just answer this question: When does Burns Night take place?

Q

A 25 January B 25 February C 25 March If you know the answer, go to womansown.co.uk, click Win and look for the competition. This competition is open from 9am on 21 January and closes at 11.59pm on 21 February 2020.

TERMS AND CONDITIONS Standard Woman’s Own terms and conditions apply, for details go to ti-media.com/ standard-competition-terms/ Entry implies acceptance to these rules. For website rules of play, go to comps. womansownmagazine.co.uk/rules The promoters are TI Media Limited & Neutradol (supplier of prize). In the event of a conflict between the terms and conditions in this promotional material and the Standard Woman’s Own terms and conditions, the former shall prevail. The winner and their partner will receive 7 nights bed and breakfast at Hotel Sol Puerto de la Cruz, round trip flights from the nearest available airport and transfers to and from the hotel. The trip must be taken by end of January 2021 and excludes Christmas, Easter and bank holidays. It is subject to availability of flights and accommodation as purchased by the agent supplying the holiday on any particular date.

Travel to UK airports or incidental expenses are not included. There is no cash or other alternative to the prize stated and the prize is not transferable, and no part or parts of the prize may be substituted for other benefits, items or additions. Prior to departure the winner must purchase comprehensive travel insurance either from the agent supplying the holiday or through their own source.

Dawn Neesom

MINDOFMYOWN Woman’s Own’s columnist has her say

What a right ROYAL RUCKUS!

He was once a firm favourite, but Prince Harry isn’t doing himself any favours... and rape but turned into a ‘poor little us’ rant.

We tried to love them but they put up a wall of selfishness while still expecting us to pay their wages. Arty black and white pics of baby Archie’s toes?

Gee, we’re honoured.

Respecting your privacy while you allowed friends to tell all Meghan and Harry to American magazines? wish to step down We swallowed that, too.

You may think the UK did them wrong, but they treated the Teen employment has halved Queen with utter contempt by not telling her their plans (but still in the last 20 years, suggesting expecting the titles and dosh). the death of the Saturday job.

When the Queen says she’s Youngsters are now prioritising ‘disappointed’, it means she’s studying over part-time work. Of. devastated. There’s no coming Course. They. Are. They’re not at back from this. So go and all glued to their phones live in the obscurity you checking their social media. desire. Pay your own way, These new findings are though. And remember, The Queen is a travesty. ‘disappointed’ not all fairy tales have happy endings.

‘We tried to love them but they put up a wall’

Lazy weekends

Acting greats?

A

nd the gong for most boring, overrated backslapping goes to… every award ceremony er! Golden Globes, BAFTAs, scars, Emmys, Grammys, Screen Actors Guild – the list goes on and on. Why does the acting profession need so many

trophies to tell them how good they are?

They’re just doing jobs like the rest of us but with posher frocks and more Botox.

Plus, they appear to think standing in front of a camera and reading someone else’s words out means they have a right to lecture the rest of us on everything.

Just shut up, do your jobs and go away.

PHOTOS: GETTY, PA IMAGES

I

t’s hard to believe less than two years ago Meghan Markle said ‘I do’ to her Prince Charming. The American actress was the breath of fresh air the royals wanted: independent, feisty, modern. No ‘Waity Katie’ here.

Harry, once the devastated 12-year-old who’d trailed his mum’s coffin, had found the love and happiness he craved.

But this story of hope has turned into an unholy mess, which threatens the very fabric of our royal family.

Harry and Meghan’s ‘resignation’ is the biggest royal story since Princess Diana’s death.

Personally, I’m glad to see the back of these pampered, whingeing hypocrites.

Only wish they’d take Uncle Andy, too.

We paid £32m for their wedding, £2.4m to renovate their lavish home, and made sympathetic noises when her family turned out to be even more dysfunctional than his. Then it started: climate change lecturing while taking private jets; the trip to Africa that should’ve focused on victims of landmines

What’s your opinion? Tell Dawn on Twitter @DawnNeesom WomansOwn.co.uk 17

Louise misses her son every day

I’ll never get over this grief

WORDS: BESS BROWNING. PHOTOS: JOHN WRIGHT STUDIO

Louise Bates, 60, found a unique way to deal with the darkness after losing her son to cancer

18

S

itting at the kitchen table with his laptop, my son Matthew stared at the screen. It was 2016 and, as he began to type, I wished desperately that I could swap places with him, to be the one writing this surreal statement. When Matthew beckoned me and his dad, Bill, over, I read the words on the screen and could no longer stifle my cries. It said: ‘I’m a pretty average 27-year-old, except for one thing – I’ve been diagnosed with stage-four cancer.’

Three years earlier, you wouldn’t have imagined a young man like Matthew could ever be ill. Flying through the front door in his bright-blue Coventry City kit, he would

WomansOwn.co.uk

be oblivious to my presence as he indulged in full-flow football chatter with Bill. With their theatrical hand gestures and the occasional whoop, I could always tell when it had been a good result.

My boys had been season-ticket holders since Matthew was a kid, and their regular visits to the stadium cemented a close bond between them.

But Matthew, talented in everything he turned his hand to, wasn’t just into football. He loved golf and played cricket regularly – even having trials for Warwickshire. And when he wasn’t playing sport, he was strumming his guitar and writing songs, another of the varied passions he shared with his father.

With his catalogue of interests, Matthew grew into a young man who would make conversation with anyone he met. So, it seemed a natural path for Matthew to go into journalism. When I’d waved goodbye as he drove off to Brighton University, in 2007, my heart ached. Our daughter Sarah, then 21, had already moved out, and me and Bill, 49, became empty nesters overnight. ‘I’ll be back before you know it,’ Matthew told me.

Getting a diagnosis Three years later, Matthew graduated and found himself a job on the local paper. Luckily, it was only a short drive away and he decided to move back in.

Though I loved that he’d become an adult, had a great career ahead of him and a lovely girlfriend, he would always be my youngest, and it was a delight having Matthew around the house again.

Real Life From the heart Matthew kept fighting

should’ve been investigating a story or hitting a six on the cricket pitch, but instead he started intense chemo, followed by radiotherapy.

Our survival mechanism was to think positively. While he underwent immunotherapy, I spent hours trawling through online research – clinics abroad with miracle cures, health supplements, even cannabis oil. I never saw Matthew’s diagnosis as terminal, I was always determined there would be a new treatment and that he would eventually recover.

Saying goodbye

But it was in those first few months back home that I noticed Matthew was constantly thirsty. ‘Another squash?’

I asked him as he gulped a third pint.

And soon, he was complaining of backache and missing out on cricket matches because he was too exhausted.

Over the next six months, Matthew visited the doctor five times, but it was only when tests showed he had blood in his urine, in September 2014, that doctors began to take his situation seriously.

He was admitted to Warwick Hospital.

Sitting in the consultant’s room, a few days later, I held Matthew’s hand and took a deep breath. ‘We’ve found a mass on your kidney,’ the consultant explained. A 13cm tumour.

Matthew and I crumpled into each other’s arms, gentle sobs filling the room. Bill stared out of the window, too upset to say a word. There was worse to come. A month later, another scan showed the tumour had already spread to his lymph nodes. Matthew had stage-four cancer, the tumour was rare and aggressive. ‘I’m afraid there’s no cure,’ the consultant told us. I just stared at him. Not my Matthew.

‘It’s OK, Mum, we’ll get through it,’ Matthew told me. But it felt surreal – that your life can change so dramatically in minutes. Matthew was only 25. He

dropping down and smudging the ink, I flooded the page with my deepest emotions. And with each letter, I felt myself gaining a grip on this immense sadness, and knew Matthew had gifted me a special way to navigate the pain of losing him.

A sign from Matthew Three months later, standing at the kitchen sink as I peeled vegetables, I felt a strange presence around me. I know it might seem like a fantasy, but I knew that Matthew was there with me, and it was as if he was giving me a cuddle.

In that moment, I pictured the cover of a book – Letters to Matthew: Life After Loss. So, after the anniversary of his death, I stopped writing the letters and started part two of my journey – writing about how I got through the last year.

‘This is amazing,’ Bill said, reading the letters. It was the first time we’d wept together about losing Matthew. And on what would’ve been our son’s 30th birthday, in August 2019, the book was published.

I hope my book will encourage others to speak openly about grief. People find it so awkward and that made it so much harder for me when I lost Matthew.

I know I will carry this pain with me until the day I die. I miss Matthew’s laughter, the light he brought into a dark room, his intelligence and conversation. But I found a way to grieve. For me, it was writing. For you, it may be something else. But you can get through the darkness. ● Letters to Matthew: Life After Loss (£12.95) is available at letterstomatthew.co.uk or on Amazon

On his darkest days, Matthew would often shut himself away in his room and it was then that he began to write down how he felt. Soon after, he started his blog, where he’d publish his feelings, updating his friends about treatment he was having.

But as time went on, Matthew wasn’t responding to treatment any more, and even after he tried a new kidney cancer drug at a different hospital, in December 2015, it seemed his body was giving up. Trying his best to enjoy his 20s, Matthew managed a holiday abroad, and his friends even arranged for him to meet the England cricket team.

But eventually, by the beginning of 2016, he was too weak to work and he no longer had the energy to go out. In August 2016, surgery to remove a tumour on his spine left him almost paralysed.

Still, I ploughed on with research, reading every article I could find. ‘Mum, you need to be realistic,’ Matthew said to me one day. Though I was holding out hope, I saw a change in Matthew. He seemed to find a peace with death.

And, two months on, aged 27, he slipped away in a hospice.

Writing helped We held a church service and Louise cope a celebration at Stoneleigh Abbey, where Matthew had often played cricket.

I fell to pieces losing Matthew. All I wanted to do was talk about him, but everyone else was grieving, too. Bill was quiet and reserved, going back to work after four days for a much-needed distraction.

Sarah was devastated. But every time we tried to speak about Matthew together, we fell apart.

Desperate to express my grief, I did what Matthew had done and started to write down my feelings. I began writing letters to him. As my pen rushed across the paper, tears

‘He seemed to find peace’

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Dawn Harper

ASKTHEDOCTOR Doctor Dawn Harper answers all your medical questions...

Boosting vitamin B with injections?

Will an X-ray make me ill?

Q

For some time now, I’ve been excessively tired and my GP has been doing tests. He found that I was low in vitamin B12 and advised me to alter my diet to include more B12-rich foods and to take a supplement by mouth. A friend of mine has the same problem and is having injections. She says she has been told tablets won’t be enough. Why am I not on injections?

Some people don’t get enough B12 because they are not eating enough, in which case supplements and diet changes should correct the deficiency.

Others have problems with absorption or develop antibodies that inhibit the absorption of B12 and need injections.

A

Q

I was called for my first mammogram Attend your this week and am in mammogram two minds about whether or not to go.

Am I right in thinking a mammogram uses X-rays? I am just worried because a friend of mine had leukaemia years ago and the specialists told her at the time that her previous exposure to radiation might have been a factor.

Yes. Mammograms do use tiny amounts of radiation but not enough to be of any risk to health. To

A

I’m fed up of being on constant antibiotics

PHOTOS: (POSED BY MODELS) GETTY

Q

I have been suffering with recurrent attacks of cystitis, which has meant I have had four courses of antibiotics in as many months. My GP is now suggesting that I try a three-month course of daily low dose antibiotics, but I’m not keen. Is there anything else?

We often use antibiotics like this for recurrent problems, but I understand your reticence. Antibiotics are great at killing off the bad bugs, but they do also affect the good bacteria in your gut. If you

put it into perspective, during a mammogram your breasts would be exposed to 0.4 millisieverts (mSv) of radiation compared to a background radiation, to which we are all exposed to, of 2.2 mSv each year. Please do take up the appointment and go for the examination. It’s a test that really could save your life.

go down this route, I would advise taking a daily probiotic to top up your good bacteria. Alternatively, you could try using D-Mannose, which some of my patients have found very useful in keeping cystitis at bay.

A

A raid

TO ASK?

It’s lumpy under my arms

Q

I keep getting little boils in my armpits. They are very sore and unsightly. My GP thinks it is related to the fact that I shave my armpits and has told me to stop, but I can’t bear the thought of hairy armpits. Can I try something else?

After shaving, hair regrowth can sometimes bury under the top layer of skin acting as a foreign body and a focus of infection. You could try using a loofah gently after shaving and each morning to remove the top layer of skin and use antiseptic wash such as chlorhexidine 4% to clean the skin.

A

Contact Dr Dawn Send your questions to drdawn@ti-media.com Follow her on Twitter @DrDawnHarper or drdawn.com

Is shaving my armpits the cause of boils?

Antibiotics keep away bad bugs

WomansOwn.co.uk 23

Anita Naik

APROBLEMSHARED Mum-of-two Anita Naik has been an agony aunt for 25 years

He slept with dad’s ex

Q

She may be jealous

I know my partner slept around when he was in his 20s (he’s now 43). That doesn’t bother me, but he told me he slept with his dad’s girlfriend when he was 24. I find this so disgusting.

She was 12 years older, and they had a brief affair behind his dad’s back. He loves his dad, so what kind of person does this? I can barely look at him.

Name and address withheld.

It’s always hard when a story about someone’s past makes you see them in a new light. But as shocking as your partner’s confession is, he is telling you about something that happened over 20 years ago. It’s something he regrets, but to get past this, you need to tell him how much it upset you and why. Is it the act, the betrayal, all of it or something else? Be honest with him so you can work through it.

A

I don’t want her at my wedding Q

PHOTOS: (POSED BY MODELS) GETTY. *HELLOMAGAZINE.COM/BRIDES/2019061974388/TOP-20-CAUSES-WEDDING-STRESS-BRIDES/

Find positive, happy friends

3 ways to... be happier

1

DOWNLOAD THE LIVE HAPPY APP One of the best apps on positivity.

There is so much to learn from the people behind this app – it will help you stay uplifted, grateful and happier with your life.

FIND JOYFUL FRIENDS Studies show that we are happiest when we are around those who are also happy. Stick with those who are joyful and let it rub off on you.

FIND A PURPOSE Whether this is being with people you love, doing a job that makes you happy or getting fulfillment from your garden, it’s purpose that will make you happy.

2 3

24 WomansOwn.co.uk

A

My fiancé has a friend he has Your partner needs to speak to known since school. I’ve known her about her behaviour and call her for eight years, but she still sees her out before your wedding. It’s herself as his friend and not unclear why she’s territorial mine. She’s cold to me, about him, but my guess is, A recent gives me dirty looks when on some level, she’s survey of 1,000 we are out and often jealous of you. However, newly married women* blanks me (friends and rather than just finding found that unwanted my fiancé have noticed wedding guests were one out why she is so rude, this). I invited her to he needs to see if of the most stressful my hen do and her there’s a way of making things about the answer was, ‘Are peace. If she refuses to big day. you kidding?’ I’m admit to what’s been furious. I’m sick of her and happening or says no to an don’t want her at my wedding. apology, then you have perfect What do I do? Kim, 37, Kent grounds for withdrawing your invite.

I’m worried we aren’t having enough sex?

Q

I’ve been married for two years.

It’s my second marriage, and I am worried that we are not having sex enough. Currently, it’s about once a week, but I have read that men need to have a lot of sex. My ex cheated on me, and I often wonder if it was because of our sex life. Help!

R. Johnson, 39, Devon The ideal for sex is what works for you and your husband. If you’re both happy, then you’re having the right

A

amount of sex. What you need to do is start talking to your husband. Explain that you’re happy, but you’re wondering if he is and make sex a relaxed conversation between you.

Contact Anita

Send your questions to askanita@ ti-media.com, follow her on Twitter @AnitaNaik, or go to anitanaik.com

GOOD !

U O Y R FHeO lping you make smart

Health Live well

health choices

Have you heard about?

Snoozing is losing

The average Brit hits the snooze button for 14 minutes each morning, but it leaves 44% of us feeling tired for the rest of the day, found Quaker Oats and Nottingham Trent University.

Salmon to slow a cold Feeling unwell? Try salmon for supper.

‘Not an obvious choice, but it’s a rich source of zinc, which has been shown to slow viruses multiplying,’ says Dr Paul Stillman (media-medics.co.uk).

Be stress-free to fight eczema

WORDS: FAYE M SMITH. PHOTOS (AS POSED BY MODELS): GETTY. *SPOON GURU. IF YOU HAVE CONCERNS ABOUT YOUR HEALTH, SEE YOUR GP

‘Stress can be a major trigger factor for eczema,’ says GP Dr Roger Henderson. ‘Yoga, breathing exercises and talking about your stress with family and friends can help to bring your levels down.’

How toÉ

Keep active with puzzles

stay sharp

Surgeon Dr Robert Foster shares his advice on keeping your brain active and healthy…

1 Work it

2 Eat well ‘Breakfast is a must, especially Each cereal, as it has been found stressful life to improve memory, incident could age concentration and your brain by 1.5 mental performance.’ years, researchers from the University of Wisconsin-Madison found.

‘The old adage “use it or lose it” is true. Stay mentally active by learning a new language or by regularly dipping into a crossword puzzle. Just like the rest of your body, your brain needs regular exercise to stay healthy.’

3 Tune up with turmeric

‘The curcumin in turmeric can help boost important brain chemicals.’

Try Bio-Sorb Turmeric (£18.95, stirling-health.net).

It worked for me

We hit snooze for 14 minutes

39%

of adults are afraid of death or illnesses due to an unhealthy diet.*

Sue Cotton, 61, from Suffolk ‘I used to get indigestion, a pain in my lower stomach and attacks of needing the toilet several times in the night. I was diagnosed with IBS, but its unpredictability led me lose confidence. Since using Silicolgel (£8.29, Boots) for the last two to three years, my bowel functions have normalised and excess wind reduced. I will continue to take it when needed.’

Buy of the week Want to sleep better? Then take a probiotic, such as Zenflore (£29.99, Boots). The gut produces 90% of the serotonin in the body, so keeping it healthy can help you get more restorative rest.

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Beat winter we W

*SLIMMING WORLD RECOMMENDS A SAFE AND STEADY WEIGHT LOSS OF ONE TO TWO POUNDS PER WEEK, BUT YOU MAY LOSE MORE IN YOUR FIRST WEEKS

ant to drop a few pounds without missing out on the meals you love?

This easy plan from Slimming World will help you lose winter weight gain, while still enjoying deliciously filling comfort food.

Lose up to 7lb in just 2 weeks!*

How it works

● Choose one breakfast, one lunch and one dinner every day. Feel free to repeat meals you enjoy and you’ll find more ideas when you join your local Slimming World group or sign up to Slimming World Online. ● Foods printed in bold are ‘Free Food’; use these to satisfy your appetite without needing to measure at all. Base meals around Free Food, like lean meat, tofu, and Quorn, fish, pasta, rice, potatoes, eggs, pulses, fat-free dairy, fruit, vegetables and more. If you're hungry between meals, snack on these. For best weight loss, opt for fruit or veg first. ● Stock up on fat-free dressings, herbs, low-calorie cooking spray, oil-free tomato puree, seasoning, soy sauce, spices and stock cubes, most of which can be used freely to flavour meals. ● Slimming World encourages you to enjoy measured amounts of foods that are calcium rich (two portions per day). Choose 350ml skimmed milk, 250ml semi-skimmed milk or 400ml plain and unsweetened soya milk with added calcium, or opt for 30g full-fat hard cheese or 40g reduced-fat hard cheese. Other varieties are available too, you’ll find out more when you join. ● Slimming World encourages you to enjoy foods providing fibre, essential minerals and healthy oils, such as wholemeal bread, high-fibre cereals, crispbreads, nuts and seeds. Choose two slices of wholemeal bread, a 60g wholemeal roll, 60g wholemeal pita or 60g brown, high-fibre white or multi-seed, gluten-free bread/roll. ● Enjoy up to two snacks a day – swap them from one day to the next as you prefer.

28 WomansOwn.co.uk

Scrambled egg and tomatoes

BREAKFASTS (Choose one, all serve one)

Scrambled eggs on toast Spray a pan with low-calorie cooking spray and scramble 2 eggs. Grill halved tomatoes.

Serve with two slices of wholemeal toast (from a small 400g loaf), garnished with chopped spring onion.

Start the day with muesli

Muesli pot Layer 40g no-added-sugar muesli, some fresh, or frozen and defrosted, raspberries and blueberries, and plenty of fat-free natural yogurt.

Top with more fruit to serve.

Baked oats Mix 40g plain porridge oats with 50ml semi-skimmed milk, 1 egg, and 1tbsp sweetener (optional). Preheat the oven to 200C/Fan 220C/Gas 4 and bake in an ovenproof dish for 20 mins or until golden.

Serve with fresh, or frozen and defrosted, mixed berries and fat-free natural yogurt.

Bacon and egg roll Grill lean rashers of bacon

Bacon is still on the table (all visible fat removed) and sliced tomato. Fry an egg in a pan sprayed with low-calorie cooking spray and serve in a 60g wholemeal roll.

Fruit bowl Top a bowl of fat-free natural Greek yogurt with halved passion fruit, strawberries and peaches.

weight gain LUNCHES

(Choose one, all serve one)

Broad bean soup Put 1 chopped onion, 2 crushed garlic cloves and 3tbsp water in pan, cover and cook for 10 mins. Add 400g broad beans and 1ltr boiling vegetable stock,

made with 1 stock cube. Cook until the beans are tender. Stir in 500g grated courgettes, bring to the boil and remove from the heat. Leave to cool slightly, stir in a pack of chopped, fresh mint and blitz using a stick blender. Season to taste and serve. Save any leftovers for another day.

Healthy Eating Eat delicious meals and still lose weight with our exclusive Slimming World plan

Jackets are a lunch staple

Crustless mini quiches

Tuna melt

Enjoy a broad bean soup

Drain tuna chunks in spring water and mix with chopped red onion, sliced radishes and fat-free natural fromage frais.

Pile the mixture on top of 2 medium slices of wholemeal toast (from a small 400g loaf), add 70g reduced-fat mozzarella chunks (from your allowance) and grill until bubbling.

rice noodles and a splash of soy sauce, cook for a few more minutes and serve.

Cheesy jacket Serve a baked potato with baked beans, 40g grated reduced-fat Cheddar cheese and plenty of salad.

Super stir-fry Fry thinly sliced onion, red pepper, carrots and cabbage in low-calorie cooking spray for 5 mins. Add cooked dried

Preheat your oven to 180C/Fan 160C/Gas 4. Put 125g peeled and diced butternut squash, 2tbsp water and seasoning in a saucepan. Cover and cook until tender. Add 50g baby spinach and leave to wilt. Stir in 1 sliced roasted red pepper in brine and 4 sliced spring onions. Crack 5 eggs into a bowl, add ½tsp paprika and beat. Spray a muffin tin with low-calorie cooking spray.

Divide the mixture between the compartments, pour in the eggs and bake for 20 mins. Enjoy hot or cold with salad. Save any leftovers for another day.

Top tips for success ● Trim all visible fat off meats and remove skin from poultry. ● For extra health benefits and filling power, choose wholegrains, such as wholemeal pasta or wholegrain rice, where you can. ● Make sure you have at least six to eight drinks a day. Choose water, sugar-free drinks, tea and coffee. Remember, any milk should come from your allowance. ● The most successful slimmers join a group or online programme for shared support, inspiration and motivation.

Have a go at making quiches

WomansOwn.co.uk 29

DINNERS (Choose one, all serve four)

Mexican chicken and rice Spray a frying pan with low-calorie cooking spray and place over a high heat. Fry 8 skinless chicken thighs for 6-8 mins to brown all over and set aside. Reduce the heat to low and fry 1 large chopped onion for 6-8 mins. Stir in 3 sliced garlic cloves, 2tsp ground cumin, 1tsp sweet smoked paprika, 1tsp dried chilli flakes and 300g dried basmati rice and fry for 1 min. Spoon into an ovenproof dish and add 2 diced red peppers in brine from a jar and 650ml boiling chicken stock made with 1 stock cube. Top with the chicken. Cover and bake at 190C/Fan 170C/Gas 5 for 20 mins, then stir in a drained 400g can of red kidney beans and 200g frozen peas and

30 WomansOwn.co.uk

bake for 10 mins. Serve with salad and lime wedges.

Chicken chow mein Put 3tbsp light soy sauce, 1tbsp hot chilli sauce, 2tsp rice wine vinegar, 4 crushed garlic cloves, 2cm peeled and grated ginger and 1tsp Chinese five-spice powder in a bowl and mix. Add 3 chopped, skinless and boneless chicken breasts and stir to coat well.

Leave to marinate for 10 mins.

Cook 300g dried egg noodles according to the packet instructions and drain well.

Spray a large wok with low-calorie cooking spray and place over a high heat. Add the chicken mixture and stir-fry for 4-5 mins or until the chicken is lightly browned. Add a large pack of stir-fry vegetables and stir-fry for a further 5 mins.

Add the cooked noodles, 1tbsp sweet chilli sauce and 3tbsp dark soy sauce and cook for 4 mins or until piping hot.

natural Greek yogurt and the juice of 1 lemon. Using a small pastry brush, paint both sides of the skewers with the marinade. Cover with cling film and chill for 1-3 hours.

Preheat grill to high and cook

Lamb veg kebabs

Keep takeaway favourites

Thread 1 chopped yellow and red pepper, 2 onions cut in wedges, 2 cut courgettes, 16 halved cherry tomatoes and 450g lamb (all visible fat removed) cut into 32 pieces onto 8 metal skewers. Mix 2tsp curry powder, 170g fat-free

Try grilling lamb kebabs

ALL RECIPES ARE TAKEN FROM SLIMMING WORLD’S COLLECTION. JOIN YOUR LOCAL SLIMMING WORLD GROUP OR SIGN UP ONLINE FOR EVEN MORE RECIPES, GUIDANCE AND SUPPORT. TO FIND YOUR NEAREST GROUP, VISIT SLIMMINGWORLD.CO.UK OR CALL 0344 897 8000. ©SLIMMING WORLD 2020 ‘SLIMMING WORLD’ AND ‘FREE FOOD’ ARE TRADEMARKS OF MILES-BRAMWELL EXECUTIVE SERVICES OPERATING AS SLIMMING WORLD.

Fill up on globally inspired dishes

the kebabs for 20 mins, turning halfway through. Serve with boiled dried rice and salad.

Tagine is quick, easy and delicious

Prawn tagliatelle Cook 400g dried tagliatelle according to the packet instructions. Meanwhile, spray a large frying pan with low-calorie cooking spray and place over a high heat.

Add 300g prepared squid rings and cook for 2 mins or until golden. Lift out and set aside. Add 3 finely chopped garlic cloves and 6 sliced spring onions to the pan and stir-fry for 2 mins, then add 300g halved baby plum tomatoes and 225g raw peeled prawns. Cook for a further 2-3 mins or until the prawns are pink then return the squid to the pan and toss lightly. Drain the pasta, reserving a little of the cooking water. Mix together 50g rocket, the seafood mixture and a splash of the cooking water. Season and add the juice of ½ lemon to serve.

Add seafood to pasta

Aubergine and chickpea tagine Spray a frying pan with low-calorie cooking spray and place over a medium heat.

Add 1 large chopped onion, 2tsp each garlic granules and

ground cumin, and 1tsp each ground ginger and ground cinnamon. Cook for 5 mins then add a 400g can chopped tomatoes and 400ml boiling vegetable stock made with 1 stock cube and bring to the boil. Add 1 large aubergine, cut into chunks, and a drained 560g can new potatoes in water.

Cover, reduce the heat to medium-low and simmer for 10 mins. Stir in a drained 400g can chickpeas and cook for a few minutes then scatter with chopped fresh parsley and sprigs, season and serve with plain dried couscous, made according to the instructions on the packet.

SNACKS (Choose up to two treats a day) ● 35ml measure of vodka with diet mixer ● 330ml bottle of light beer ● 25g fruit cake ● 1tbsp reduced-fat peanut butter with apple slices ● 30g pack sweet rice cakes ● 25g pack wasabi peas ● 6 sugar-free boiled sweets ● 25g dark chocolate ● 1 large chocolate-coated rice cake ● 25g salted pretzels

Join Slimming World for FREE! Continue your weight-loss journey by joining your nearest Slimming World group. After all, research shows that by joining a group you’re more likely to be successful in the long term than if you go it alone. As well as finding out more about Slimming World’s Food Optimising eating plan, you’ll meet other like-minded slimmers and be able to share support and motivation, celebrate successes, and gain practical advice and strategies for overcoming challenges and barriers that could hold your weight loss back. With this offer from Woman’s Own, join your nearest Slimming World group before or on Monday 3 February 2020 and enrol for FREE, saving £10/€18 so you pay only £4.95/€9 in your first week. (Standard first week fee is £14.95/€27 or £10/€18 to enrol plus £4.95/€9 weekly fee). To find your nearest Slimming World group visit slimmingworld.co.uk or call 0344 897 8000 (In the ROI 01 656 9696).

For full terms and conditions, please visit slimmingworld.co.uk/womansown-terms Please complete this voucher and give it to your Slimming World Consultant when you join a group.

Woman’s Own offer 21 January to 3 February 2020

Your name .…………………………......................………………...................................…….............................................................

Your address …….................................................................………………………………………….................................................. .............................................................................................................................................................................. ………………………………………................................…. Telephone number ………..................................................................

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To the consultant: Your name ………..................................……………………........................……...................................

Consultant code ………....................................................... Group code ……………......................….…….....................

Please sign to confirm that the member has joined ………………………….........................……...............................

Discounted membership to Slimming World Online for all Woman’s Own readers Save £15/€25 when you join Slimming World Online with this exclusive discount. If you can’t make a Slimming World group or there isn’t one local to you, or if you’d prefer to lose weight online, then Slimming World Online could be the perfect way for you to slim. Slimming World Online has all the tools you need to lose weight successfully and stay on track, including delicious recipes, a vibrant community, planning tools and inspirational success stories. Visit slimmingworld.co.uk/ womansown before midnight on 3 February and enter voucher code WOMANSOWN2020 to save £15/€25.

PHOTOS: SLIMMING WORLD/GARETH MORGANS, KATE WHITTAKER, WILL HEAP, ALEX LUCK, GRAEME SIMPSON, ADRIAN LAWRENCE, MAJA SMEND

Healthy Eating

I was letting my kids down

Clare O’Connell, 34, was sick of making excuses not to join in the fun with her young family

WORDS: FRANCES LEATE. MAIN PHOTO: SLIMMING WORLD

T

hrowing myself into the ball pit, I grabbed hold of my daughter, Maggie, five, and lifted her into the air. ‘Let’s go on that now, Mummy!’ she squealed, pointing at the slide. So, picking up my son, Chester, three, we made our way to the top and whooshed back into the sea of balls.

We’d had such a fun day that the three of us couldn’t stop giggling, but as I pulled myself out, I felt a lump form in my throat.

While I may have been doing what any other mum or dad would – having fun with their kids – for me it was a special moment, because, only 11 months earlier, weighing 17st 10lb and a size 24, I’d have been sitting on the sidelines.

In August 2014, John and I had Maggie, who was followed by Chester in May 2016. An exhausted mum, I’d fill the freezer with ready meals, or John would get us fish and chips or takeaway pizza once the kids were in bed. I loved cake, too, especially a Victoria sponge or Swiss roll. Once I’d cut a slice, I’d keep it out on the kitchen side and go back for a quick forkful throughout the day.

As the months passed, I was constantly buying bigger leggings and baggier tops, feeling out of breath just walking round the block. Losing weight seemed such a monumental task – I’d tried so many times before – so I tried to shove my concerns to the back of my mind, but my kids’ faces as I refused to join in at soft play were a shameful reminder.

‘Please, Mummy,’ Maggie would beg.

‘It’s not really my thing,’ I’d reply, becoming more agitated the more times she asked.

Eventually, I’d snap, telling her to leave me alone, while guilt and shame ate me up inside. It wasn’t my little girl’s fault I was too big to do the normal things other parents did, and I knew I only had myself to blame. Even sitting down on the

‘The truth was, I was in denial’

A monumental task I’d always been big. Even when I married John, then 28, in August 2012, I’d had to ask my aunt to make me something that would cover as much of my body as possible. She created a beautiful size 24 lace-and-cream dress with plenty of layers to hide my then 16st 7lb body.

Even though it was stunning, I felt self-conscious on the day and so annoyed with myself. Why hadn’t I lost some weight beforehand? The truth was, I was in denial.

Clare was embarrassed by this photo

32 WomansOwn.co.uk

Now she’s a new woman

living-room floor to play trains had become a struggle because I couldn’t sit cross-legged for long before I’d become too uncomfortable, hauling myself onto the sofa and feeling like a let-down.

Determined to change Then, in December 2016, all the family gathered at our house and my mum Irene took a photo of us on her phone. When I looked at the picture afterwards, I frowned in confusion.

‘Have you taken this as a panoramic shot or something?’ I spluttered, taking in my large figure, which looked distorted beside John and the kids.

Dressed in a black, short-sleeved top and a size-24 skirt, I looked huge – much bigger than I’d realised.

Mum laughed, thinking I was joking but, feeling ashamed and embarrassed about my size, I vowed to myself that I’d lose weight – and, days later, I signed up to Slimming World.

‘I need to do this,’ I sobbed to John, who promised to support me.

I went to my first Slimming World meeting in January 2017, feeling motivated and determined. After receiving some recipes, I went shopping for fresh, healthy ingredients. I planned for the week ahead and cooked meals from scratch.

‘Delicious!’ Maggie grinned after meals.

After the first week, I’d lost 6lb, which spurred me on. And, as I cut out sugar and salt by avoiding processed foods, my taste buds changed completely.

‘I don’t even fancy cake tonight,’

Real Life You’ll never believe it I shrugged to John one evening in February 2017. Instead, I’d snack on apple with a bit of peanut butter on it.

A few weeks on, at Chester’s christening, I’d lost a stone, and was confident in a multicoloured skirt and black top. I even wore court shoes, which I hadn’t risked in years, fearing I’d snap the heels.

As I stuck to the Slimming World meals, my weight dropped off – and, by my 32nd birthday, I’d hit 13st 7lb and a dress size 14.

‘Look at that waist!’ my aunt gasped.

By December, I’d hit my target of 10st 3lb and a dress size 10-12, and I felt and looked like a completely different person.

Yet, although physically I’d changed dramatically, my friends and family said the biggest difference was in myself, especially how I was with the children. I’d become a relaxed mum who was up for anything, taking them to the park or soft play, running around having fun.

Now, when I’m enjoying those special moments, considering how far I’ve come, it’s no wonder I feel emotional. Finally, I’m the wife I’d always wanted to be and the mum Maggie and Chester deserve.

Clare wanted to play with the kids

● Slimming World Magazine is on sale on newsstands now and in Slimming World groups. To find your nearest group, call 0344 897 8000 or go to slimmingworld.co.uk

Weighty words Slimming World’s new Mind Your Language report explores how we use language around weight and body image to put ourselves down.

Participants in the research who struggled with their weight used words like ‘shame’, ‘embarrassed’, ‘hopeless’ and ‘failure’ to describe how they felt about themselves.

By contrast, Slimming World members who’d started to lose weight and were part of a supportive community, reported feeling ‘positive’, ‘attractive’, ‘inspired’, ‘happy’, ‘determined’, ‘optimistic’ and ‘fit’.

Psychologist Dr Linda Papadopoulos, who worked with Slimming World on the study, said, ‘By being part of a supportive group, it’s possible to shift negative self-talk and motivate positive change.’

60%

of British adults say they sometimes struggle with their weight or body image.

Clare hit her target and is confident at last

WomansOwn.co.uk 33

Skincare worth talking about

They may not look super exciting, but these products deserve to be on your radar

CeraVe

YourGoodSkin

Don’t let the medicinal, no-frills packaging put you off, these sell-out formulas are great for sensitive or irritable skin. Try SA Smoothing Cleanser, £8, to cleanse and gently exfoliate, then use Moisturising Lotion, £8, to soften and restore the protective skin barrier with ceramides and hyaluronic acid.

Developed by dermatologists, all products in the range are powered by a unique antioxidant complex of green tea and vitamin C, which help to improve the tone, texture and appearance of your skin. The Cica Paste, £12, is the stand-out gem. Great for helping to diminish dry patches.

The Ordinary Straightforward packaging and no misleading ingredients, The Ordinary offers brilliant, highperformance products that won’t break the bank. The formulas pack a skincare punch, from retinols proven to minimise fine lines and revitalise, to the Salicylic Acid Masque, £7.62, which helps clear blemish-prone skin.

Revolution Beauty Punchy serums, innovative formulas and 100% cruelty-free, plus most products come in under £10. Invest in CBD Nourishing oil, £10, to nourish and hydrate tired-looking skin and Niacinamide Essence Spray, £5.99, enriched with calming camomile and vitamin B3.

34 WomansOwn.co.uk

Beauty How to

Botanics The pared-back, simple packaging may not look exciting, but it’s what’s inside that really counts.

Using a minimum of 80% organic ingredients, the range is split according to your specific skincare needs, be it anti-ageing, sensitive or brightening.

The Purple Orchid range is designed for mature skin – try the Triple Age Renewal Hydrating Eye Serum, £11.99, to help reduce the appearance of deep lines and wrinkles.

Drunk Elephant Drunk Elephant is serious skincare that doesn’t take itself too seriously. The ethos of the brand is to create products free from toxins and the ‘Suspicious 6’ (essential oils, drying alcohols, silicones, chemical screens, fragrance/dyes and SLS). A little pricey, but worth it if you’re after something specific. The Pekee Bar, £24, removes impurities and excess oil, as well as toning and moisturising the face.

BYBI stands for By Beauty Insiders, and this highperformance range is 100% natural, vegan and crueltyfree. The high quantities of potent but pure ingredients are proven to have a positive effect on your skin. The Bakuchiol Booster, £12, is one of the best alternatives to retinol and the Buriti Booster, £8.40, protects against pollution and UV light while also brightening.

WORDS: SOPHIE CULLEN. PHOTOS: GETTY

BYBI

WomansOwn.co.uk 35

Mirror, £12, JD Williams

Brighter Update your space with pink hues and flashes of yellow

Cushions, £14.99, Very

Candle, £1, Poundland

Throw, £15, George Home

Tumbler, £4, Dunelm

Trinket dish, £14, Oliver Bonas

Jewellery box, £15, Flying Tiger

COMPILED BY: ESME CLEMO

Storage bowl, £4, Flying Tiger

36 WomansOwn.co.uk

Plant pot, £7.50, Oliver Bonas

Double fitted sheet, £12, Sainsbury’s

Home Style

bedroom 5 1 £ r! e d n u &

Vase, £6, Tesco

Frame, £12, Paperchase

Blume duvet cover set, from £12, cushion, £12, tray, £10, vase, £14, all Dunelm

Word ornament, £10, Dunelm

Coaster, £8, Oliver Bonas

Mug, £12.50, White Stuff Ceramic ball, £4, Dunelm

WomansOwn.co.uk 37

Tom’s fit food Michelin-starred chef Tom Kerridge’s balanced recipes will help you stick to your New Year’s eating resolutions

TIP

For freezing, allow strained broth to cool at end of stage 4 then freeze in a suitable container. Shred chicken and freeze separately. Defrost both at room temperature, then reheat broth thoroughly in a pan over a medium heat.

485 cals

Chicken pho Serves 4 This Vietnamese pho is full of aromatic flavours, such as cinnamon, coriander, ginger and lemongrass, and topped with loads of fresh herbs. Feel free to play about with the seasoning and spices to find the perfect balance for you.

You will need:

✽ 1.5litres fresh chicken stock ✽ 15g dried porcini mushrooms ✽ 2.5cm piece fresh ginger, thickly sliced ✽ 3 garlic cloves, lightly bashed ✽ 1 star anise ✽ ¼ tsp black peppercorns ✽ ¼ tsp Chinese five spice powder

38 WomansOwn.co.uk

✽ 1tsp coriander seeds ✽ 1 cinnamon stick ✽ 2 lemongrass stems, lightly bashed ✽ 3 spring onions, white and green parts separated ✽ 750g skinless chicken thighs (bone in) ✽ 200g carrots, julienned ✽ 200g flat rice noodles ✽ 2tbsp fish sauce ✽ Juice of 1 lime ✽ Sea salt and freshly ground white pepper TO FINISH AND SERVE ✽ 200g beansprouts ✽ A large handful each of mint, coriander and Thai basil ✽ 1 bird’s eye chilli, finely sliced ✽ 1 lime, cut into wedges

How to do it:

1

Pour the stock into a medium saucepan, place over a high heat and add the dried porcini, ginger, garlic, spices, lemongrass and white spring onions. Add the chicken thighs, bring to a low simmer and cook gently for 25 mins.

Meanwhile, put the carrot julienne and rice noodles into a large heatproof bowl, pour on boiling water to cover generously and leave to soften for 10 mins. Shred the spring onions for the garnish.

Pour the broth through a strainer into a jug, remove the chicken from the strainer and set aside for later; discard the rest of the contents.

2 3

Return the flavoured broth to the pan and place over a medium-high heat.

Bring back to the boil and bubble for 5 mins to reduce and intensify flavour. Stir in fish sauce and lime juice. Season with sea salt if needed and a small pinch of white pepper.

Shred the chicken, discarding bones, then add to the broth to warm through for 2 mins. Drain noodles and carrots and share between warmed bowls. Scoop the chicken out of the pan and add to the bowls. Ladle over the broth and finish with the spring onions, beansprouts, herbs, chilli and lime wedges.

CALORIES: 485 FAT: 14G

4 5

Tasty Recipes

Monkfish and coconut curry Serves 2 Monkfish is a robust, meaty fish that tastes great in curry mixed with complex spices. Red lentils and coconut provide richness and make this dish feel substantial, yet light – the perfect cosy winter feast.

435 cals

You will need:

✽ 1 tbsp vegetable oil ✽ 1 large onion, finely diced ✽ 3 garlic cloves, finely chopped ✽ 2.5cm piece ginger, peeled and finely grated ✽ 1 long red chilli, finely sliced (with seeds) ✽ A handful of curry leaves ✽ 1 heaped tsp ground turmeric ✽ 1 tsp ground coriander ✽ 2 medium tomatoes, diced ✽ 400ml fresh vegetable stock ✽ 50g red lentils ✽ 400g monkfish fillets ✽ 100g green beans ✽ 100ml tinned coconut milk ✽ 2 tbsp roughly chopped coriander leaves ✽ Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper

How to do it:

1

Heat the oil in a large non-stick sauté pan over a medium-high heat. When hot, add the onion and cook for 5 mins or until softened and starting to brown.

TIP

Allow curry to cool then freeze in portions. Defrost thoroughly overnight in the fridge, then reheat in a saucepan over a medium heat until hot all the way through.

2

Add the garlic, ginger and chilli and cook for a couple of minutes.

Now add the curry leaves, turmeric and ground coriander and cook, stirring for 1 min or until fragrant.

Add the tomatoes, stock and lentils to the pan. Stir, bring to the boil over a medium heat and simmer for 12-15 mins or until the sauce is thickened and the lentils are tender.

3

TIP

4 5

Meanwhile, cut the monkfish into 4cm pieces. Trim the green beans and cut them in half.

Add the monkfish and coconut milk to the pan and cook over a gentle heat for 2-3 mins. Add the beans and cook for a further 3-4 mins. Remove the pan from the heat, taste to check the seasoning and stir in the coriander. Serve in warmed bowls.

CALORIES: 435 FAT:16G

Chocolate chia puddings

Chia seeds are full of healthy omega-3 fatty acids, protein and fibre – which all help stave off hunger. And dark chocolate contains antioxidants which help you to recover after a workout.

Serves 4

How to do it:

Chia seeds are a great way of thickening and enriching a dish.

Dark chocolate adds a sophisticated note, while shop-bought custard ensures this deliciously rich and creamy pudding is quick and easy to make.

Pour the custard and milk into a medium saucepan and add the vanilla pod and seeds, cocoa powder, dark chocolate and sweetener.

Place over a mediumlow heat and heat slowly, whisking gently for until chocolate is melted.

Remove from the heat and discard the vanilla pod.

Add the chia seeds to the chocolate mixture and whisk until combined.

Divide half the raspberries between 4 small jars or glasses (about 280ml capacity).

Spoon chia mixture into the glasses and place in the fridge for 2 hrs to chill.

Pile on the remaining raspberries to serve.

CALORIES: 301 FAT: 13G

You will need: ✽ 500g light custard ✽ 100ml whole milk ✽ 1 vanilla pod, split and seeds scraped ✽ 30g good-quality cocoa powder ✽ 50g dark chocolate (70% cocoa solids), roughly chopped ✽ 1 tbsp granulated sweetener ✽ 4 tbsp chia seeds ✽ 180g raspberries

300 cals

1

2

3 4 5

LOSE WEIGHT & GET FIT

BY TOM KERRIDGE (£22, BLOOMSBURY) PHOTOS: CRISTIAN BARNETT

WomansOwn.co.uk 39

Fully escorted tours

Includes tours and visits worth £285

8 days from p £999p

Lake Como, St Moritz & the Bernina Express

Includes tours and visits worth £252

Lisbon, Porto & the Douro Valley

Departures from April to October 2020. Price includes:

Departures from April to October 2020. Price includes: ● Explore Lisbon on a guided tour ● Visit the hillside town of Sintra and its National Palace ● Enjoy a guided tour of Porto, centre of the port wine trade, including a visit and tasting at Taylor’s port lodge ● See the holy shrine of Fátima and visit Coimbra University, one of Europe’s oldest seats of learning ● Experience the charm of 13th-century Óbidos with its cobbled streets and lofty medieval fortifications

8 days from £799PP

● Discover the Douro, one of Europe’s most beautiful river valleys, on a full-day tour Stay in the chic coastal resort of Cascais in a historic Pousada hotel ● Return flights, plus all hotel transfers ● Seven nights in three-star superior to five-star accommodation, with breakfast and three dinners (stays at the Royal Bridges Hotel include breakfast and one dinner) ● The services of our experienced and insightful tour manager throughout

● ● ● ● ● ●

Visit chic St Moritz Lake cruise to Bellagio on Lake Como Spend a day visiting Lake Maggiore Enjoy a full-day visit and tour of Bergamo Return flights and hotel transfers Seven nights in four star-accommodation, with breakfast and dinner (stays at the Grand Hotel Menaggio are on a bed-andbreakfast basis, with dining options available) ● Services of our experienced and insightful tour manager throughout Includes tours and visits worth £198

7 days from £499pp

8 days from £729PP

Includes tours and visits worth £210

Classical Spain - Seville, Córdoba & Granada Departures from March to November 2020. Price includes: ● Experience the iconic cathedral, vibrant streets and tranquil parks of beautiful Seville on a tour led by a local guide ● Enjoy the authentic tastes and traditions of tapas on an evening introduction to these delicious Spanish appetisers in Seville ● Explore the mountain-fringed city of Granada and visit the outstanding Alhambra Palace ● Visit historic Córdoba and take a guided tour of the Mezquita, probably the world’s most beautiful mosque

● Marvel at the natural drama of Ronda, a city spectacularly situated across a plunging gorge ● Return flights from a selection of regional airports, plus all hotel transfers ● Six nights in three-star superior and four-star accommodation, with breakfast ● The services of our experienced and insightful tour manager throughout ● Complimentary airport security fast track*

Pompeii, Capri & the Bay of Naples Departures from March to November 2020. Price includes: ● Many tours and excursions ● Return flights from a selection of regional airports, plus all hotel transfers ● Seven nights in a choice of conveniently located accommodation rated three-to four-star superior, plus breakfast and dinner (Stays at the Hotel Mediterraneo and the La Badia are on a bed-and-breakfast basis) ● The services of our experienced and insightful tour manager throughout ● Complimentary airport security fast track*

book or for a free br h e, c ll 01283 742395 or go to ownr v era co uk Terms & conditions: Additional entrance costs may apply. Prices are per person, based on two sharing and subject to finite availability. Images used in conjunction with Riviera Travel. Offer operated by and subject to the booking conditions of Riviera Travel Ltd, ABTA V4744, ATOL 3430, a company wholly independent of Woman’s Own, published by TI Media Limited. Prices correct at time of print. *See our website for full terms and conditions.

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Bio&Me Gut-Loving Granolas (Booths) PEAR AND CHOCOLATE GRANOLA CRUMBLE

RECIPE IMAGE AND CREDIT: TI-MEDIACONTENT.COM

Serves 4 You will need

✽ 200g granola FOR THE PEARS: ✽ 6 pears ✽ 250g caster sugar ✽ Pared rind and juice of 1 lemon FOR THE SAUCE: ✽ 284ml carton light

NATURALLY SWEET UGLY DRINKS PEACH AND TROPICAL

WAS £3.99 NOW £2.66 double cream ✽ 200g dark chocolate, broken into pieces ✽ 2tbsp icing sugar ✽ Few drops of vanilla extract ✽ Baking sheet, lined with baking parchment

How to do it

1 2

Core and peel the pears, leaving the stalks.

Pour 1ltr water into a pan, add the sugar, lemon rind and juice.

Heat the mixture and stir until the sugar dissolves. Bring to the boil, add the pears and simmer for 10-15 mins, or until tender, turning occasionally. Remove with a slotted spoon and leave until cool enough to handle.

(SAINSBURY’S AND TESCO)

Fizzy drinks with no sugar, sweeteners and calories?

Yes from us! Launched in 2016, the latest flavour from this British brand of fruit-infused sparkling waters is peach and it’s a great thirst-quencher.

3

To make the sauce, bring the cream to the boil, then remove the pan from the heat.

Add the chocolate, icing sugar and vanilla.

Stir until the chocolate melts. Leave to cool, so it thickens. To serve, spoon the sauce around and over the pears and scatter over the granola.

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Irresistible Special Cuvée Prosecco (Co-op)

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£3.50 £2.50 WomansOwn.co.uk 41

Should grandpare

have rights?

Millions of grandparents are being torn out of their beloved grandchildren’s lives

‘LARA’, ‘MARK’ AND ‘RACHEL’ ARE NOT THEIR REAL NAMES AND SOME DETAILS HAVE BEEN CHANGED. WORDS: ANNA MATHESON, SAMANTHA BRICK ©TELEGRAPH MEDIA GROUP LIMITED 2019. PHOTOS (POSED BY MODELS): GETTY

B

eing spoilt by Grandma and Grandad is part of growing up, and most grandparents cherish this bond and the chance to offer a supply of unending love and support – over five million UK grandparents provide childcare while parents work. Yet more than one million are denied access to their grandkids after a divorce or separation.

Grandparents have no automatic legal rights, so many are going through traumatic and costly court proceedings to secure access to their grandchildren.

Experts are calling for a change to the Children Act, which would champion a child’s right to a relationship with close family members, including grandparents.

When the issue was debated in the Commons, MP Nigel Huddleston cited

stories of grandparents accused of harassment for sending birthday cards and gifts.

‘Divorce can take an emotional toll on all involved, but the family dynamic that’s often overlooked is that between grandparents and grandchildren,’ he said.

The Ministry of Justice is now considering potential reforms but, for many grandparents, the changes can’t come fast enough. We speak to one grandmother desperate to be reunited with her little granddaughter.

‘I was stunned to discover that I have no rights’ pregnant. I was thrilled. Her parents Each Sunday afternoon, I allow myself live abroad, so I went to the scans and an hour or so to scroll through family checkups with her and, when Lara photographs. My favourite is one of me was born, my heart melted as with my granddaughter Lara on holiday in I watched Mark hold her. I hadn’t Greece. We’re laughing into the camera, counted on the overwhelming holding hands. It’s all the more heartlove I felt for my grandchild. rending because I haven’t seen her for When Rachel returned to almost a year. After that holiday, my son work, I took Lara to nursery, on Mark and his wife Rachel announced play dates and to ballet lessons, they were splitting up. Within a couple of and we had sleepovers and months, Rachel had closed the door on weekends away. I taught her her previous family, including me. to bake and we went Mark and Rachel first skating in the park. For five years, started seeing one another a 2,000 child she was my life. decade ago. A year after arrangements When Mark and Rachel they married, Rachel took orders were broke up, I wasn’t surprised, me out for afternoon tea sought by as they both wanted different and told me she was

‘For five years, she was my life’

grandparents in 2016.

42 WomansOwn.co.uk

things. Mark moved out and, to begin with, I went to Rachel’s house as usual.

Then, last December, she took Lara to Spain to spend Christmas with her parents. When they returned, Rachel wanted nothing to do with me. Every time I phoned or texted, I was curtly told she had made other arrangements.

When Mark announced that he’d accepted a promotion at his firm’s New York office, I was happy for him, but my heart broke for Lara. It made me more determined to insist on seeing her, yet Rachel closed down the shutters, believing that I should see Lara only when she was with Mark. Now that

Real Life Behind the headlines

ents

‘It can feel like a bereavement’

A million grandparents in the UK are split from grandchildren following separation or bereavement. until the divorce is finalised,

he’s overseas, that’s impossible.

One Saturday morning, I turned up unannounced. I hadn’t seen Lara for three months and had some Easter gifts for her. I politely asked to come in, but Rachel said it was inconvenient.

When I caught a glimpse of Lara in the hallway, I called out ‘Hello, darling!’ but Rachel warned me she’d call the police if I made a scene.

Desperation A few days later, I contacted a solicitor for legal advice and was stunned to discover I have no rights; if I want to see Lara, I need to apply to the courts for an access order.

I called Mark, but he asked me to wait

which could take months.

Desperate, I turned to a mediation service, not telling Mark, but they told me that unless Rachel was willing to attend the sessions, it wouldn’t do much good. So far, she has refused, citing work commitments.

All along, I suspected Rachel had met someone else, and I recently learnt, via Mark, that she’s engaged. Surprisingly, this didn’t upset Mark – he’s embracing his new life abroad. Deep down, I’m disappointed in him and desperately miss Lara, now six. My only option is to go to court, but I’m waiting for Mark’s blessing.

In the meantime, I can’t help but worry: will Lara forget me?

Colin Davies, Senior Family Lawyer at Kuits Solicitors, says: ‘Grandparents and their grandchildren often have a special bond and if contact is suddenly stopped, this can be traumatic, with each party feeling a sense of grief and loss akin to a bereavement.

Studies show that children are often adversely affected by the separation of their parents, and grandparents can be invaluable in providing support with new childcare routines, emotional support and stability.

Grandparents can often help confused grandchildren, who sometimes blame themselves for the separation, to face and deal with the aftermath of divorce. If one parent decides to “cut off ” a grandparent, the family as a whole can lose out on this crucial support.

It’s preferable for adults to use mediation services to iron out contact issues, but the courts can be used as a last resort by grandparents to make a formal application for access rights.

The courts recognise the significance of the grandparent/grandchild relationship and of maintaining it for the sake of the child. This also benefits the grandparent, who might otherwise suffer from the loss of contact with a beloved member of the family.’

STEPS THAT YOU CAN TAKE

Government advice suggests you try to see your grandchildren through an informal, family-based arrangement with both parents.

Mediation, where an independent mediator can help families reach an agreement, can be an option if this proves tricky. However, if mediation fails, you can apply for a court order, costing £215, and the court will decide what sort of contact would be in the child’s best interest. ● Find more at gov.uk/contact-grandchild-parents-divorce-separate

WomansOwn.co.uk 43

MONEY

MATTERS Our expert Rebecca Gamble helps make your cash go further

HAVE YOU HEARD?

A

TWEET @REBECCAGMEDIA OR EMAIL WOMANSOWN@TI-MEDIA.COM

round 8% of Brits say they would discuss their money worries with social media followers, according to research by investment and financial planning group Tilney. The same number said they would chat about it with a taxi driver, and 9% said they would with a hairdresser. The most popular option was to discuss money with a partner (63%), close family (45%) or a financial adviser (39%).

Do you share money issues?

IF YOU DO ONE THING THIS WEEK… BEWARE TAX SCAMS HMRC has warned that almost 900,000 people received emails, texts and calls from fraudsters pretending to be HMRC in the last year. The most common scam concerned bogus tax rebates, while another threatened victims with arrest if a bogus tax bill was not paid immediately. For more information, visit gov.uk.

Watch out for HMRC scams

3

ways to boost kerb

More than two thirds of homeowners say that ‘kerb appeal’ was an important factor when it came to choosing their home, according to a survey by the HomeOwners Alliance. So just how can you create a winning first impression for your home if you’re intending to sell and want to make that all-important impact?

1

Time to take care of those overdue problem areas

‘Our research revealed a list of the features homeowners said were most important to them in creating a positive first impression of the home they went on to buy,’ says Paula Higgins, from

HomeOwners Alliance (hoa.org.uk).

‘Topping that list is the property having windows in good condition, with 71% saying it’s key.

‘So if you’ve got wooden window frames that haven’t been touched for a decade then take action. Fix any signs of rot or flaking paint in particular. Potential buyers will be put-off if windows look neglected, because everyone knows how expensive they are to replace,’ she adds.

‘A roof that appears in good condition is rated the next most important feature, so it’s essential to get missing or cracked tiles replaced before you put your house on the market,’ continues Paula.

2

Don’t overlook the garden

‘Don’t underestimate the impact of doing a spot of gardening to smarten up the outside of your home,’ adds Paula.

Your Money Don’t forget the garden

Who says you can’t get something for nothing?

When the Beatles sang ‘the best things in life are free’, maybe they had a point after all! Here’s how to do it…

DID YOU KNOW?

The number of self-employed women in the UK has hit an all-time high at nearly 1.7 million, however 35% of them are saving nothing for their retirement, according to new research in the Scottish Widows Women and Retirement Report.

Check out websites dedicated to helping people get freebies, such as latestfreestuff.co.uk. When I visited the site, there was a range of beauty and household product samples available, and loads of other items too. Every day, 10 new offers are added but they’re time-limited and first-come, first-served so you’ll need to be quick!

It lists free-to-enter competitions, too.

2 Free entertainment You can have a packed social life without spending anything if you’re

savvy. Have a browse through ents24.com, which lists events going on around the UK; use the filter to find free events. And check out eventbrite.co.uk – similarly, you can find free events by using the filter.

3 Second-hand items Why not see what people living nearby are looking to give away for free? The website preloved.co.uk has a ‘Freeloved’ section dedicated to items being given away. It’s also worth looking at gumtree.com and searching ‘free to collect’ in your area. When I did, I found everything from a wardrobe to a kids’ trampoline!

Hunt around for free deals

appeal ‘Two thirds of homeowners in our survey agreed that a weed-free, tidy front garden with trimmed hedges was important to them.

‘We also found more than half were looking out for well-maintained driveways, garden walls and fences.’

3

The finishing touches

‘But as well as fixing those problems and keeping your property well-maintained, it can pay off to make your home look as attractive as possible too,’ Paula explains.

‘Having a well-decorated exterior and an attractive front door were considered important by more than half of those surveyed,’ she adds.

‘Homes having outdoor lighting was something a quarter of buyers look for – and don’t forget to hide your wheelie bin if you can, too!’

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WomansOwn.co.uk 45

Great British

breaks Get outdoors at Cliveden

Go for a dip at Durdle Door

Learn yoga with a pro

Hunt out England’s best wines

WORDS: LOTTIE GROSS. PHOTOS: ALAMY, GETTY, VIVIENNE BLAKEY, DANIEL KAY

I

f it’s serenity you crave, sign up for a weekend yoga retreat in the beautiful British countryside. You’ll find lots of options at Yoga Weekends (prices start at £295pp, yogaweekends. co.uk), which connects hotels and retreats with yoga devotees all over the UK – plus there are some great overseas options as well.

Sign up for a yoga weekend in Sussex, where you can practise Pilates or meditation in sunny Oxfordshire.

There are trips suitable for beginners, intermediates and yoga experts, as well as introductions to mindfulness, too.

46 WomansOwn.co.uk

This year, explore the glories of the UK

Take a break to find peace

B

Lend a hand with the National Trust

T

he National Trust’s working holidays (prices start at £120pp, nationaltrust.org.uk/holidays/workingholidays) give you a great excuse to get outdoors and lend a hand. Gather a few like-minded girlfriends and join the Trust on a weekend break, for a behind-the-scenes look at its most popular properties plus a big dose of the feel-good factor.

You could assist with outdoor conservation at Buckinghamshire’s Cliveden, or let off steam on an ‘extreme gardening’ weekend. You’ll work alongside friendly people and stay in one of the Trust’s holiday cottages.

ritish wines have never tasted better, so now’s the time to immerse yourself in the fruits of our fair country.

Sussex’s mild climate and good soil provides an optimum environment for growing grapes, so viticulture here has really taken off in the last two decades.

There are delicious whites, reds and rosés, plus gorgeous sparkling wines from the likes of Bolney and Rathfinny – you can stay in the latter at its Flint Barns accommodation (rathfinnyestate.com).

Raise a glass in Rathfinny

Travel Escapes

H

Walk the beautiful Jurassic Coast

ead down south to stretch your legs on the Jurassic Coast, the collection of beaches between Exmouth and Dorset. On a three-day guided walking trip with HF Holidays (prices start at £349pp, hfholidays.co.uk), you’ll visit the fossil-rich beaches that give this coastline its name, stroll atop sunny cliffs, and swim in Lulworth Cove. This trip is for medium-level walkers, so it’s perfect for an active weekend. Meals are included and accommodation is at West Lulworth House, a beautiful property with pool, well-stocked bar and idyllic sea views.

Go island hopping on the Isles of Scilly

S

tep onto the Isles of Scilly and you’ll immediately feel a world away from Britain. Flung off the far south-west coast of Cornwall, this archipelago has its own microclimate, some Visit Tresco’s Caribbean-worthy Abbey Gardens beaches, and a totally different pace of life. leave for the other islands Getting there is part of the regularly (depending on adventure – take the Night the tides).

Riviera from London to Penzance, Go to St Martin’s for then hop on the Scillonian ferry exceptional fish and chips and a or take the thrilling 20-minute vineyard tour, head to Bryher helicopter ride over to main for wild walks, and visit Tresco’s island, St Mary’s. From there, you spectacular manicured can embark on an idyllic islandbotanical gardens. hopping adventure, as boats

o g n i B

A scorching

garden revamp Diane Goode, 52, from Braintree, put her £1,500 win towards a garden transformation

S

itting in my favourite spot in the garden, I couldn’t wait for the summer to start. Though it was a warm evening in May 2019, it didn’t feel like summer yet.

‘Don’t you think the garden could do with livening up?’

I said, as my partner Jeremy, 57, sat down next to me.

‘It could do with a bit of TLC,’ he smiled, passing me my tablet.

Even though our garden was in need of a facelift, we both loved sitting outside – especially as the weather was starting to get nicer.

48 WomansOwn.co.uk

Jeremy worked full-time and I worked part-time, so finding the chance to agree on our garden renovation was proving tricky! Jeremy loved to unwind by scrolling through his phone, while one of my favourite things was playing bingo online.

I’d always loved playing, having gone to the bingo halls with my mum when I was younger. But, after a while, and with such a busy schedule, I found myself going less and less.

That’s why I signed up to Woman’s Own Bingo in February 2015 – to get that

‘It could do with a bit of TLC’

Diane’s loving her new outside space

Promotion Join now Diane won the Full House

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I bought 12 tickets at 25p each for the next game and waited for it to start.

As my numbers started to be crossed off automatically, I decided to have a little chat with Jeremy about our day.

Surprise win Jeremy and I were soon so deep in conversation that I hadn’t realised a lot of my numbers had already been called. When I glanced back at my screen, I noticed I had just two numbers to go.

‘Look at this!’ I squealed – and, as soon as Jeremy looked over, a banner popped up on the screen telling me I’d won.

‘Wait! I think I’ve just won £1,500!’ I said.

‘As if you’ve just won!’ he beamed, not believing me at first. But I really had won!

Monday 20 January and Wednesday 29 January to opt in, then you’ll discover the prize of the day and how you could win it. Opt In and min £1 wager required.

I couldn’t believe I’d got the Full House!

I didn’t have to give too much thought to what I’d spend my Woman’s Own Bingo winnings on – it really was time to turn our garden from drab to fab!

That weekend, we set about revamping our garden, putting in new decking and looking at getting a fresh coat of paint for the fence. We also got some new exotic plants and pots, as well as a new water feature. It all made such an enormous difference.

I even had enough left over to treat my grandkids to some new toys and start redecorating our bedroom. So far, we’ve treated ourselves to a new carpet – not that I’ve been in the house much since the garden was done, mind you.

I spend as much time as I can in my garden now, it’s so stunning – and what a wonderful way to have spent my incredible Woman’s Own Bingo win!

‘It was time to go from drab to fab!’

exciting bingo-hall experience in the comfort of my living room.

I never had a favourite game, so always tried different rooms to see what was going on. Some rooms are great value with tickets from just 1p – and you could natter in the chat rooms with fellow players. Most of all, it was just great fun.

Time to relax So, during that warm evening in May, I decided to sit back in the garden with my tablet and play some games of bingo.

This time, when I logged in, I decided to give Sapphire Bingo a try. It’s just like traditional bingo and uses 90 balls.

To win, you need to match your numbers on one or two lines – or match all of the numbers on your bingo card to win the

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WomansOwn.co.uk 49

I make b milk jew

Hannah Rymkiewicz, 40, found unique ways to mark a very special bond

WORDS: JACQUI DEEVOY

Hannah wears the pendant made from her dad’s ashes

50 WomansOwn.co.uk

A selection of her cremationash jewellery

S

itting at the table I’d set up in my messy upstairs box room, wearing overalls and a breathing mask, I added biodegradable glitter to some resin in a mixing bowl.

All my raw ingredients and materials were lined-up in front of me in my makeshift workshop, where I’d started making jewellery several months earlier. Citric acid, resin, precious metals, heated in a special bath, then shaped with pliers and wire cutters. Only, this time, I had an extra-special ingredient for the pendant I was designing – my friend’s breast milk.

Even though I’d always enjoyed arts and crafts, becoming a jewellery designer hadn’t been part of my life plan. I’d studied Hairdressing at college and worked in a salon for four years, then went on to have three daughters, Ellie in 1995, Jai in 2001, and Melissa in 2016.

But on 10 September 2018, my dad, Roy, died of prostate cancer, aged 68. ‘How will I manage without him?’ I thought as I struggled with my grief.

We’d been very close, especially after my mum Heather, 58, had died six years earlier from bowel cancer. Dad was cremated, but when I got his ashes home, I didn’t really know what to do with them. I wanted to keep Dad close, but do something more than have his ashes in an urn.

I vaguely remembered reading something about the Victorians having ‘mourning jewellery’ – where they’d keep mementoes, such as a lock of hair of a passed loved one, in a locket or brooch. ‘It must be possible to have something similar made,’ I thought. After some research, I came across companies who could incorporate ashes into jewellery – only they were so expensive.

‘I’ll just make it myself,’ I thought. There were lots of online tutorials, so I bought all the materials I’d need. I practised with some plain pieces before adding the ashes. It took about 10 goes before I got it right.

I ended up with a lovely Pieces made using breast milk

breast wellery pendant with some of my dad’s ashes mixed in.

I only used a small amount – the rest are laid to rest at Westmill Woodland Burial Ground on the Oxford/Wiltshire border.

I wore the necklace wherever I went and people always commented on how beautiful it was. Soon, word got around and, before I knew it, I was making similar pieces for other people, keeping the costs as low as possible.

Life-changing request Then, one day in May 2019, a friend came to me with an unusual request. ‘Could you make me one, but use my breast milk instead?’ she asked.

‘Breast milk?’ I gasped, surprised. She explained how, after many years of breastfeeding her four children, she’d finally stopped. I could empathise, as my youngest was just two, so I’d only recently reached the end of my own breastfeeding journey.

It was a relief in some ways, but there was also a tinge of sadness and loss and I understood why she wanted something to commemorate that special bond. More online research told me it was actually quite popular – only, like cremationash jewellery, it cost a fortune.

‘I’ll give it a go,’ I told her, before setting to work in my little workshop at my home in Calne. It took a few attempts, but once I’d finished, I was thrilled with the results, and so was my friend. I put a photo on my Facebook page and, within days, three more people contacted me with commissions.

After that, I set up a separate Facebook page to showcase my jewellery, and the orders started rolling in. In the last eight months, I’ve had some strange requests – some people want hair or teeth put in the resin, and one woman asked if I could make pieces using her menstrual blood! I turned those orders down as, while I’m not averse to anything, for now I’m sticking to perfecting my skills using ashes and breast milk.

Some people are shocked by what I do, but once I explain why I do it, they usually understand. Women who’ve commissioned breast-milk jewellery love having a souvenir of that journey with their child. The people who’ve bought cremation-ash jewellery from me say it brings them comfort.

I understand, because when I wear my dad’s pendant, it rests next to my heart and makes me feel that part of him is still with me.

To find out more, search for Bohemian Dreams Jewellery on Facebook

Real Life The way I see it

Friends and family have their say...

Friend Sabrina Lyn Wagers, 30 ‘Commemorating a beautiful bond’ ‘The breast-milk jewellery is a lovely idea as it commemorates the beautiful bond between mother and child. My sister plans to commission a pendant from Hannah as soon as she stops breastfeeding. Personally, I’m not so keen on the ash pieces, though.

When I pass on, I want my ashes to be scattered on the top of the highest hillside, not worn around my children’s necks or in their ears.’

Cousin Nicola Flay, 46 ‘It’s a bit odd’ ‘I thought making necklaces out of ashes was a bit weird and morbid at first. But the more I thought about it, the more I came round. I don’t have children, so I’m still unsure about the breast-milk jewellery – it just seems a bit odd – but the ash pieces actually look really beautiful and are a lovely way to keep a dear departed loved one close.’

Friend and mum-of-four Caryn June Morrissey, 32 ‘I worried it might go off’ ‘I’d always thought it was a bit gross to be putting breast milk into jewellery – I wrongly imagined it’d go off – but when I saw how beautiful Hannah’s pieces were, and the joy it gave people, I decided it was actually quite cool. I commissioned her to make me a keyring in memory of my baby son, who died at two months, using some of his ashes, and I cherish it. I’d love my kids to do the same and put my ashes into jewellery after I pass away. It’s rather nice to imagine my kids knowing that a bit of me is with them at all times.’

WomansOwn.co.uk 51

Actual Size

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THIS WEEK’S

TV PICKS Because life’s too short for bad telly!

‘This is such a departure for me!’

Jennifer Saunders on starring in Netflix drama The StrangerÉ

F

ans of Jennifer Saunders are in for a surprise when she makes the leap to drama in a new eight-part thriller The Stranger on Netflix.

‘I love anything like this,’ says the Absolutely Fabulous star. ‘I read the book and it’s an extraordinary and compelling story.

Accepting the role was an absolute no-brainer because the script is so amazing and there’s an extraordinary cast.’

Based on the novel by mystery writer Harlan Coben, the drama follows lawyer Adam Price (Richard Armitage) whose seemingly perfect life is suddenly turned upside down when a mysterious woman sits next to him in a bar and tells him a devastating secret about his teacher wife,

Corinne (Dervla Kirwan).

When Adam confronts her, Corinne disappears, and he finds himself embroiled in a dangerous and potentially deadly conspiracy.

But Adam’s not the only one to be told a secret by the stranger, as she drops lifebombshells on other characters throughout the series, too.

The star-studded cast also includes Anthony Head, Shaun Dooley and former Downton Abbey and Benidorm star Siobhan Finneran, who plays detective Johanna Griffin, the best friend of Jennifer’s emptynester character Heidi.

‘I was thrilled to be asked to be in the series, but quite scared because it’s such a departure for me,’ says Jennifer.

‘It was quite hard and intense, but thrilling, too. I loved it! Just give me some good props and prosthetics and I’m away!’ ● The Stranger is on Netflix

‘It was thrilling and intense!’

54 WomansOwn.co.uk

Jennifer and Siobhan star

WHAT’S NEXT FOR...

Jenny Ryan

Best known as one of the ‘chasers’ on hit ITV quiz The Chase, Jenny and her fellow brainboxes – including Anne Hegerty and Paul Sinha – will appear in spin-off show Beat the Chasers. It will see them all teaming up to take on contestants playing against them for cash prizes.

Top Telly

TOP 4 TV MUSTS 1

David Walliams is the new host of the star-studded NTAs at London’s O2.

Things could get a bit awkward though because David is up against fellow BGT judge Simon Cowell in the TV Judge category!

Meanwhile, will Ant & Dec win the TV Presenter award for the 19th year in a row?

YOU LIKED...

UPSTART CROW, BBC2 David Mitchell stars as William Shakespeare in this sitcom set in 1592. It follows the bard as he finds inspiration for his stories in the unlikeliest of places. Harry Enfield stars as his dad John, while Liza Tarbuck plays his wife Anne.

David Walliams is up for a gong

2

The Windermere Children, BBC2

NOW TRY...

THE WITCHFINDER, BBC2 This upcoming comedy is set in 1647 and follows a failing witchfinder (Tim Key) as he escorts a suspected witch (This Country’s Daisy May Cooper) to a trial, but she makes things awkward when the straightforward journey becomes life-changing…

Favourite stars in future TV projects

Iwan Thomas The former athlete, and his fellow Olympian Tessa Sanderson, will team up to try antique dealing in a special edition of BBC1’s Bargain Hunt for Sport Relief. They’ll face stiff competition from sports broadcasters John Watson and Manish Bhasin.

Romola Garai and Tim McInnerny head the cast of this one-off drama, which tells the story of the traumatised children who survived the Holocaust and were brought to Britain to recover in the Lak District. The film also includ interviews with some of the now-elderly survivors.

The children of Windermere

Winterwatch, BBC2

3 See how red squirrels cope

Chris Packham, Michaela Strachan, Gillian Burke and Iolo Williams return to the Cairngorms National Park in Scotland to investigate how the local wildlife, including red squirrels, osprey, golden eagles, mountain hare and Scottish wildcats, are coping with the winter weather.

Coronation Street, ITV Maria’s heartbroken when she loses her bab the reason fo miscarriage i she’s got me When she lea that she caug highly infecti illness from B her hot-head fella Gary tak anger out on tot’s strugglin dad Daniel…

What’s next for Maria and Gary?

PHOTOS: ITV, GETTY, ALAMY, BBC, PA IMA NETFLIX, DOUG PETERS/EMPICS ENTERTA

DID YOU KNOW?

In her role as Edina in Ab Fab, Jennifer wore clothing that was two sizes too small as Edina refuses to wear anything that fits her. ‘When I think of Edina, I think of painful shoes and painful clothes,’ she says.

The National Television Awards, ITV

THIS WEEK’S

HOT LIST

21-27 January 2020

Your STARS

The movies and books not to miss

Discover your destiny with Sally Morgan, our expert astrologer

Aries

Libra

21 Mar – 20 Apr

23 Sep – 23 Oct

Frosty relationships will find someone breaking the ice. Accept an apology and feel the temperature rise in love.

A gesture of romance brings flowers and chocolates.

Film The Personal History of David Copperfield Out 24 January

Armando Iannucci, the comic genius behind The Thick of It and Veep, brings fizzing wit and energy to this very original adaptation of Charles Dickens’ beloved novel. Dev Patel heads a star-studded cast as the eponymous hero; Peter Capaldi delights as the ever-optimistic Mr Micawber; Tilda Swinton is David’s donkey-hating Aunt Betsey Trotwood; Hugh Laurie is endearing as Mr Dick and Ben Whishaw is a superbly creepy Uriah Heep.

Book A Silent Death

by Peter May (£20, Quercus, HB)

One of Britain’s favourite crime writers takes us to the Costa del Sol, where expat fugitive Jack Cleland is seeking vengeance.

His target is a policewoman who was involved in his girlfriend’s shooting, Cristina Sanchez Pradell – or, rather, her deafblind aunt Ana. This fast-paced thriller has an atmosphere you could cut with a knife.

DVD

Downton Abbey The Movie £10

The long-awaited movie is now out on DVD. The Crawleys and their intrepid staff prepare for the most important moment of their lives as they anticipate a royal visit from the King and Queen of England. The ensuing scandal, romance and intrigue leaves the future of Downton hanging in the balance…

56 WomansOwn.co.uk

Love will be off the scale and in plentiful supply this week. Being extraromantic with someone you love will lead to new and exciting plans being made.

Taurus

Scorpio

21 Apr – 20 May

24 Oct – 22 Nov

A knock on your door will bring an interesting visitor.

A catch-up with a special friend highlights exciting news. Money well spent shows a good return in investments.

Harness the power to complete a task that’s dragged on. A surge of newfound energy leads to fireworks in your relationship – and sparks being reignited with a lover…

Gemini

Sagittarius

21 May – 20 Jun

23 Nov – 22 Dec

A feel-good time is on the cards. Laughing with friends and having fun brings contentment. Dancing to old tunes brings sentimental memories to the surface.

For those of you looking for romance, this is your week. Searching the web and dating apps is likely to bring someone special into your life right now.

Cancer

Capricorn

21 Jun – 22 Jul

23 Dec – 20 Jan

Making a tiny wish this week may lead to a huge surprise. You’ll hear something so meaningful you won’t believe your ears. A partner is likely to lavish cash on you.

This is your week to say ‘eureka!’ as you find a solution to a long-term, thorny problem. A simple fix comes to you, bringing clearer thoughts.

Leo

Aquarius

23 Jul – 22 Aug

21 Jan – 19 Feb

Be careful what you hope for – you may get more than you bargained for. A trip to the shops brings a real deal your way. Don’t hold back – spoil yourself a little.

The timing is right for your luck to change. Setting up an online business may prove beneficial, as you’ll find advice from an unlikely source that has strong foundations.

Virgo

Pisces

23 Aug – 22 Sep

20 Feb – 20 Mar

Stick to your goals and you won’t come unstuck. A family member you’ve been battling with will surrender. A refreshing new start with someone brings contentment.

You may find yourself on a winning streak this week.

Luck is definitely on your side.

Don’t be deflated over work matters, as an offer is heading your way.

Real Life Debate

All-femalebars, gymsandoffices arepoppingup, yetsomethink they’venoplace in modern society

Do we need women-only spaces?

Catherine Cooper, 48, is a journalist. She lives in the South of France with her husband and two teenage children.

There is absolutely no need for female-only spaces d beyond changing rooms an ry toilets. This is the 21st centu and women are not feeble flowers who need to be protected and hidden away from men.

Surely the more we head towards ‘girls only’ gyms, bars or, worse, work places, the worse sexual t? discrimination is going to ge Do we really want to be e living in a Jane Austen-styl world where the ladies withdraw to one room to n chat over tea while the me ’, its get on with ‘manly pursu m’ or retire to the ‘smoking roo to put the world to rights? n If a man is making a woma feel uncomfortable, for r whatever reason in whateve is situation or environment, it vital that he is taken to task

Catherine says it’s wrong to segregate n over this, rather than wome feeling that they need to n hide away. Obviously, wome ls should be treated as equa by men, but they shouldn’t at the same time protest e’ that they need a ‘safe spac away from the scary males of the world.

I would personally in always choose socialising in a mixed group or working a mixed office over a female only one. Plus, women-only groups can bring their own problems. Removing men to create our own cliquey woman caves is certainly not the answer.

Yes

‘They create a sense of unity’

Caroline Strachan, 46, lives in Tunbridge Wells and is the co-leader of the Women At Work group.

Being pro women-only spaces, as I am, doesn’t equate to being anti-men.

For me, women-only spaces are a short-term solution to the inequality that still exists in today’s society. Private areas for females to gather, socially or professionally, have their place.

The Women At Work group I co-founded on Facebook in 2017 is a digital space where women can feel safe and confident. They can ask questions related to the work place and receive guidance on femalespecific issues. As such, it’s guidance that may only be found in a woman-only group.

There is something incredibly empowering about women-only

Caroline believes it’s empowering spaces. Take the Women’s Institute, which experienced a surge in popularity recently, and of which I am an active member. Its meetings create a strong sense of unity and emancipation among women, hence why the WI has been going over 100 years, with thousands of members in the UK. But it’s not just because these groups are womanonly that I support them.

I support any group if it caters for and nurtures the needs of its members.

For more info, visit womenatwork.org.uk

WORDS: FIONA KINLOCH, CATHERINE COOPER. PHOTO (POSED BY MODELS): GETTY

No

‘We don’t need cliquey woman caves’

WomansOwn.co.uk 57

PUZZLE BR O TRY TE E T L P C O M ON E THIS 20 IN MINS

Clues & arrows

Fill in the clues in the direction of the arrows

CAN YOU DO THE SE IN 10 MINS EACH?

Quick & easy If you really don’t have much time to spare, give your brain a break with one of these.

2 1 4 6 5 4 5 3 1 2 3 4 Sudoku To solve the puzzle, each 2x3 box, each column and each row must contain the numbers 1 to 6.

CROSSWORD O A DR AUG D T F I S H E N O S ACRO R L I GH T L E T Y R E D I N F L A O E COA S T K S

C H T A A R Y C I U S ANC M C A S A F N P UN I A Y T E E T E R A R

CLUES & ARROWS E C S T A T I C D R Y R O T

K H S E N I C E D O P P E D A T OGA I R A T H E R E HME N T U H R S HO T C U R L E S S E E

Puzzle solutions

WORDSEARCH R I O J A P S V H T O E O E A T S A T W S C

C P R F O E J B O

S E R N O W O

Y C T R B L A E P T

L S E S T I S S E

K C O L R

S H E E

E D E T V

SUDOKU

4 3 2 5 1 6

1 5 6 3 2 4

6 2 1 4 3 5

5 1 3 6 4 2

2 4 5 1 6 3

3 6 4 2 5 1

58 WomansOwn.co.uk

T O A S T E R S W

R J P V T O A A S

I S S H O E T T C

C P R F O E J B O

Y A S E R N O W O

C T R B L A E P T

L S E S T I S S E

E D T S K C O L R

S E V I H E E B S

Wordsearch The answer is the word missing from the grid.

BEEHIVES BOATS BOILERS CARS COMPUTERS JETS LOCKS PHONES

ROOFS SCOOTERS TAPS TOASTERS TRICYCLES TVS WATERBEDS

EAK 1

2

3

4

7

8

9

10

BEAT TH E K C O L C 5

6

13

14

11 12

15

16

18

21

17

19

22

23

24

DO IT IN 30?

MINS

20

25

Crossword

Put your feet up and have a go at this old classic ACROSS DOWN

7 8 9 10 12 13 15 18 19 21 23 24 25

On tap (beer) (7) Poison (7) Angling waters (7) Shortened (7) Holy and protected (10) Roman item of attire (4) Hardly weighing anything (5,2,1,7) Bicycle-wheel covering (4) Harsh treatment (10) Blow up (a balloon) (7) Audibility distance (7) Small table-mat (7) Unventilated, stuffy (7)

1 2 3 4 5 6 11 14 16 17 19 20 22

As a general rule (10) Novel’s creator (6) Force of personality (8) Concealed decay (3,3) Persevere doggedly (4,2,2) Animal pelt (4) Spooky, weird (7) Glass-covered structure (10) Taking no notice (8) Highly delighted (8) Sales talk (6) Bodily tissue providing strength (6) Cosy niche (4)

Woman’s Own, TI Media Limited, 161 Marsh Wall, London E14 9AP. All prices are correct at time of going to press.

TI Media Limited regrets that it cannot be liable for the safe custody or return of any unsolicited material, nor can we answer any letters or return submitted material unless accompanied by an SAE. TI Media Limited reserves the right to shorten or modify any letter or material submitted. By submitting this material you consent to TI Media Limited reusing the submitted letter or material in any format or medium. TI Media Limited also regrets that it cannot accept unsolicited fiction manuscripts. This periodical shall not, without the written consent of the publishers first given, be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise disposed of by way of trade at more than the recommended selling price shown on the front cover, and it shall not be lent, resold or hired out or otherwise disposed of in a mutilated condition or in any other unauthorised cover by way of trade or affixed to or as part of any publication or advertising, literary or pictorial matter whatsoever. Subscription rates: One year, 50 issues (including postage): UK £62.40; EUR €177.35; USA $116.30; Rest of world £135.85. For enquiries and orders email help@magazinesdirect.com; alternatively, from the UK call 0330 333 1113, overseas call +44 330 333 1113 (lines open Monday-Saturday, 8am-6pm UK time). Back issues: 01795 662976 (lines open 8am-6pm Mon-Thur and 8am-1pm Friday); support@mags-uk.com. Or order online at: http://mags-uk.com/browse-by-publisher/ti-media. html. © TI Media Limited, 2020. Published by TI Media Limited, 161 Marsh Wall, London E14 9AP. Cover printed by Walstead UK Limited, text printed by Walstead UK Limited. Repro by Rhapsody. Editorial Complaints We work hard to achieve the highest standards of editorial content, and we are committed to complying with the Editors’ Code of Practice (https://www.ipso.co.uk/IPSO/cop.html) as enforced by IPSO. If you have a complaint about our editorial content, you can email us at complaints@ti-media.com or write to: Complaints Manager, TI Media Limited Legal Dept, 161 Marsh Wall, London E14 9AP. Please provide details of the material you are complaining about and explain your complaint by reference to the Editors’ Code. We will endeavour to acknowledge your complaint within five working days and we aim to correct substantial errors as soon as possible.

Puzzles Your time

‘I want to be just like Sir Tom

WHEN I’M 80’ Olly Murs reveals what life is like now he’s settled down with his girlfriend, as he returns for The Voice

WORDS: HAYLEY MINN. PHOTOS: GETTY, INSTAGRAM @OLLYMURS, ITV, PA IMAGES, SWNS

S

ince he shot to fame in 2009’s X Factor, with his wiggly hips and charming smile, Olly Murs has always been a bit of a ladies’ man.

After splitting from his last long-term girlfriend, Francesca Thomas, four years ago, he’s enjoyed a string of flings – including one with Melanie Sykes. But now, Olly has found love with bodybuilder Amelia Tank, and the 35-year-old pop star even has new silver blond hair to celebrate! As we chat to Olly about the new series of The Voice, he tells us whether blonds really do have more fun, how he’s doing after his knee operation in June and why he’s learnt so much from sitting next to Sir Tom Jones…

Who is Olly Murs?

Born: 14 May 1984 Age: 35 Relationship: Dating Amelia Tank His big break: Coming second on The X Factor in 2009 What’s next: He’s on The Voice UK alongside Sir Tom Jones

Hi Olly, we love your hair!

Do blonds have more fun?

I’d like to say they do, but I’ve got a girlfriend now, so I’m happy to be a little t more reserved in that area.

And how are you feeling after our knee operation?

When I first filmed this series of The oice, it was only four months after my urgery and I said to my team, ‘Don’t how my physio or the doctors me on age!’ I was walking down the stairs like was in agony, though. It wasn’t good for e, but the physio is going well, and I’ve ot another five months at rehab and en I should be all right.

Do you think you can win the how again this year?

Olly’s bodybuilder girlfriend, Amelia Tank

60 WomansOwn.co.uk

A new year snap of the happy couple

hink I was very lucky last year when I ad Molly. I had a vision with Molly.

The Big Interview

Olly and his fellow judges on The Voice

I knew what avenue to go down and it just got votes and people loved her and she won. But I think that’s down to us really to make sure we get the right song.

Do you prefer having a contestant who lets you tell them what to do or one who knows their own mind?

You obviously have a few over the years, where you think, ‘Hang on, you’ve come on the show and we’re here to help you.

You don’t know it all.’ The reason some of them come on the show and haven’t made it is because they don’t listen.

Do you think listening is the reason you’re so successful?

Yes, I’ve been very fortunate in my career to have had some of the best mentors.

I was very good at listening to Simon Cowell when I did The X Factor, and over

the yea listenin With X Factor mentor to Rob Simon Cowell William spoke to me and I went on tour with him.

And now I’ve got the best mentor sat next to me on The Voice, in Tom.

What does Sir Tom tell you?

It’s just hearing him talking. It sounds ridiculous but I’m always a sponge and when you hear Tom speak, you listen.

He’s been going for nearly 60 years; he’s seen it all! And he doesn’t give out praise easily, so when he tells you you’ve sung good, it’s amazing.

Do you hope to be as popular with the ladies when you’re approaching Tom’s age?

One hundred per cent. If I’m sat here when I’m 80 and having the same career as what Tom’s having, I’d be over the moon. There aren’t many artists that can say they’ve had a song in every decade of the last 60 years, and still doing albums, still touring, still at the top of his game!

And what advice would you give someone wanting to go into the music industry?

Olly had major knee surgery last summer

My mum and dad said, ‘You can’t go to the Jobcentre and be a pop star,’ and told me I should get a proper job. But I was like, ‘I’m going to do it anyway,’ and I proved them wrong. So it is possible! ● The Voice continues on Saturday, ITV

WomansOwn.co.uk 61

Before You go

ourself How did you score?

Mostly As

Work on being…

More motivated

1 How would friends describe you?

A

Happygo-lucky

B

Generous and kind

C

Always on the go

D

A high achiever

2 You’re about to sip your first cuppa of the day. It’s…

A

Made by your intern – you can’t be bothered to go to the kitchen

B

Not as you’d like it. But you’d never tell the person who made it

C

Gone cold – who has time to drink tea?!

D

Thrown together any which way – it’s only tea

3 The supermarket queue is long. You’re…

A

Thinking about ditching your shopping

B

Staring at the floor

C

Fidgeting, unable to stand still

D

Muttering ‘this is ridiculous’

4 If you had a free evening, which of these activities would you choose?

A

Watch whatever was on TV

B

Have a one-on-one with a friend

C

Soak in the bath

D

Try the latest trendy restaurant

5 When walking somewhere, you’re usually…

A

Dragging your feet

62 WomansOwn.co.uk

B

Staring at the ground, avoiding eye contact

C

Racing as fast as you can

D

Staring at your phone

Mostly Bs

Work on being…

More confident You’re kind and generous, but if you give all your energy to other people you’ll have none for yourself! You’re likely worrying about hurting other people, or rushing around unnoticed.

Follow the ‘one for me’ rule. Every time you’re nice and helpful to others, focus on treating yourself too.

Mostly Cs

Work on being…

More relaxed Surrounded by to-do lists that never get done? No one doubts your work ethic, but it means you’re frazzled and have no time for you.

Leave home at home and work at work. Channel separate professional and personal mindsets – don’t check your emails when you’re at home. Call a friend or take a bath. Stop stressing and start living.

Mostly Ds

Work on being…

More appreciative You’re so focused on forging ahead that you forget about the present. Stop to make a proper cup of tea – start appreciating what you’re grateful for.

Next time you curse your commute, or the shopping line, tell yourself, ‘I am grateful for being here.’ There are people who would love a high-flying job or a full shopping trolley.

WORDS: EMMIE HARRISON-WEST. PHOTO: GETTY

What will make you happier in 2020?

Your friends probably admire you for being chilled and easy-going – but you might feel stuck in a rut and find it hard to project yourself into the future and get excited about plans.

Do what you hate first. If you tackle that task first thing you’re less likely to avoid it later when you’ve wasted your energy worrying about it.

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Cruise the Heart of Europe

15 days

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Burgundy, the River Rhône & Provence

8 days

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Amsterdam, Kinderdijk & the Dutch Bulbfields

5 days

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Bruges, Medieval Flanders, Amsterdam & the Dutch Bulbfields

8 days

£1,699pp

The Seine, Paris & Normandy

8 days

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The Douro, Porto & Salamanca

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Medieval Germany

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Budapest to the Black Sea – Gems of Eastern Europe

15 days

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The Danube’s Imperial Cities & Yuletide Markets

6 days

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Enchanting Rhine & Yuletide Markets

5 days

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book or for a free br h e, c ll 01283 742395 or go to ownr v era co uk Terms & conditions: Additional entrance costs may apply. Prices are per person, based on two sharing and subject to finite availability. Images used in conjunction with Riviera Travel. Offer operated by and subject to the booking conditions of Riviera Travel Ltd, ABTA V4744, ATOL 3430, a company wholly independent of Woman’s Own, published by TI Media Limited. Prices correct at time of print. †See website for full details.