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Jacksonville casting call for “America’s Supernanny” is reality TV wrapped in a cry for help. p. 12 Improv saxophonist Jamison Williams plans a “shadow” Jazz Fest to showcase the genre’s punk rock side. p. 40

2 | folio weekly | April 24-30, 2012

Volume 26 Number 4

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Courtesy of George Hapsis

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39 NEWS How the company behind Duval County’s red-light cameras became our default eyes in the sky. p. 7 Jacksonville casting call for “America’s Supernanny” is reality TV wrapped in a cry for help. p. 12 From cookies to caskets, businesses share their wares at the annual Jax Chamber Trade Show. p. 13 BUZZ, BOUQUETS & BRICKBATS Barishnikov mourns the sale of his second home (in Yulee, of all places). Plus we shamelessly exploit another opportunity to run a picture of Don Redman in a hairnet. p. 8 SPORTSTALK High, low and in between: A Jags 2012 draft preview. p. 14 ON THE COVER Jacksonville Beach’s volunteer lifesaving corps was the first of its kind — and is now the last in the country. p. 16 OUR PICKS Reasons to leave the house this week. p. 23 MOVIES “Lockout” will have audiences begging to be paroled from its derivative sci-fi silliness. p. 24 The Farrelly Brothers tackle the classic moronic “Three Stooges,” with uneven results. p. 25

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MUSIC The Beach Boys celebrate a halfcentury of sun, fun and good vibrations. p. 30 Regardless of his many names, Mark Sultan is the garage rock king. p. 31 Whole Wheat Bread survives novelty, lineup changes and even gunshots to celebrate 10 years of killer punk rock. p. 32 ARTS “Les Miz” celebrates 25 years of dazzling theater lovers with one lavish production. p. 39 Improv saxophonist Jamison Williams plans a “shadow” Jazz Fest to showcase the genre’s punk rock side. p. 40 BACKPAGE Death and dying: A daughter’s reflections on achieving a peaceful end. p. 55 MAIL p. 5 EDITOR’S NOTE p. 4 I ♥ TELEVISION p. 15 LIVE MUSIC LISTING p. 33 ARTS LISTING p. 41 HAPPENINGS p. 44 DINING GUIDE p. 45 NEWS OF THE WEIRD p. 50 I SAW U p. 51 FREEWILL ASTROLOGY p. 52 CLASSIFIEDS p. 53 Cover Design by Chaz Bäck.

Cover photograph: 1949 Bracewell Crew, led by crew mate Richard Bracewell, courtesy of George Hapsis.

APRIL 24-30, 2012 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 3

Everything, Illuminated

How one alt weekly journalist managed to shed light on the darkest human experience

E

li Sanders won a Pulitzer Prize last week, which is a great thing for any writer, but in this case is also a boon to the fraternity of 130 alternative weekly publications of which he is a part.

Sanders writes for The Stranger, an irreverent, ferociously smart Seattle alt newsweekly, which manages to pump out both snarky, edgy, ribald content (it’s the birthplace of “Savage Love,” the gritty sex advice column written by the paper’s Editorial Director Dan Savage), and gamechanging investigative stories.

In the case of Sanders’ story, however, it was the simplest kind of reporting that won over the Pulitzer judges — an honest, heartbreaking account of a murder trial, told in unadorned prose and with shattering first-person candor.

Sanders sat through a victim’s account of one of Seattle’s most lurid crimes, and then turned the story around over the course of a weekend.

The title of the piece, “The Bravest Woman in Seattle,” makes no attempt to hide the reporter’s sympathies with the woman whose testimony he watched — a woman who saw her partner killed and was very nearly murdered herself, following a home invasion and brutal sexual assault.

He also made no attempt to hide his own response to the harrowing story, or to shy from the emotion. “The horror of what happened next made the court reporter’s eyes well up, made the bailiff cry, had the whole room in tears,” he wrote in the June 2011 cover story (http://bit. ly/HU68ly). “The jury handed around a box

be summed up in a Google alert, but whose power comes not from the awfulness of the crime, but from the endurance of the victims, their love for each other, and the determination of the surviving partner to tell the tale.

Writers like Sanders are to be commended, and stories like this one are rare, remarkable gems. But as news outlets struggle for relevance, even survival, it’s a reminder of the gift that longform narrative can provide — for growth, release and, in a few cases, a kind of

Sanders made no attempt to hide his response to the harrowing story, or to shy from the emotion. “The horror of what happened next made the court reporter’s eyes well up, made the bailiff cry, had the whole room in tears,” he wrote in the June 2011 cover story. “The Seattle Times reporter seated next to me cried. I cried.”

4 | folio weekly | April 24-30, 2012

of tissues. The prosecutor took long pauses to collect himself. The family and friends in the courtroom cried (though, truth be told, they had been crying throughout). The Seattle Times reporter seated next to me cried. I cried.”

The Pulitzer judges, far from finding Sanders’ sympathies a journalistic trespass, praised him for his honesty. Two-time Pulitzer winner Amy Harmon noted, “It takes journalistic bravery to expose yourself, as well as your subject, to the reader. You risk credibility when you do this, even in a story where no one can fault you for sympathizing with the woman on the stand.”

Sanders isn’t just a sympathetic mediary in the story, though. Sometimes, he’s a filter.

Resisting the tell-all, show-all ideology that defines the modern news culture, Sanders refused to detail the atrocities of the crime, despite the story’s ample 5,200-word length.

“Some of her testimony from this day is not going to be recounted in this story,” he decides.

It is these types of judgments that make the reader trust Sanders, and bear with him in the telling of the story — a piece whose horror could

redemption. “The power of this story is in the incredible writing,” noted one Pulitzer judge.

“It is a challenge of human will to stay with this story. There is the temptation to leave for fear it will rip at your own emotions.” Yet the story is impossible not to finish, and even harder to forget.

Last week, Folio Weekly celebrated its 25th anniversary. We have faced our own challenges in an evolving media landscape, and have not (yet) won any Pulitzers. But our faith in the power of narrative remains as strong as ever, and our belief in the virtue of good — even stubbornly unsanitized — storytelling remains our calling card. At times, it appears the world is changing the news business more than the reverse these days, but Eli Sanders offers a welcome reminder that what is good about the best journalism is what has always been good about humanity: the capacity to care, and the courage to admit as much.

Anne Schindler themail@folioweekly.com Twitter @schindy

Avert Your Gays

Although Folio Weekly is for the most part a liberal publication, I admire how it allows both sides to express their viewpoints. In response to Michael Allen’s letter (Mail, April 3) which suggested Jesus approved of homosexuality, this is not accurate.

First of all, as I have a brother who is a successful real estate broker in L.A., and also a nephew who lived this lifestyle, I am familiar with this alternative lifestyle and do not “hate” or “bash” gay people. The reason I used the word “lived” is that my nephew committed suicide five years ago at age 26 as he was very dissatisfied with his life. Though I unconditionally love my brother, there is a major difference in our choices, and this impacts our relationship.

Mr. Allen made an assumption that the Roman Centurion’s request for Jesus to heal his young male slave was because there was a homosexual relationship between the two of them. If you read the scripture about this in Matthew, Chapter 8 (verses 5-13) and also in Luke, Chapter 7 (verses 1-10), this makes no reference to any sexual relationship between these two people. Mr. Allen also incorrectly assumed the reference of “born eunuchs” in Matthew, Chapter 19, verse 12 was they were homosexuals. This was referring to a congenital deformity, not sexual preference. There was no acknowledgment by Jesus regarding homosexuality in this verse.

More importantly, in contrast to Mr. Allen’s implication that the Bible does not condemn homosexuality, he needs to read the scriptures which clearly state otherwise.

Romans, Chapter 1 (verses 24, 26 and 27), states: “Therefore, God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity that their bodies might be dishonored among them. For this reason, God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural; and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the penalty of their error.”

The primary purpose of my response is that Mr. Allen made wrong assumptions without any foundation in the scriptures and also incorrectly referenced the scriptures. Similar to Jesus, Christians do not hate gay people; however, it is not possible to condone a lifestyle which is contrary to the teachings of the Bible.

Ed Hayes Fleming Island via email

Gate Crasher

Poor Ms. Booker. Held captive by her own choices (“Gates of Hell,” Guest Editorial, April 10, http://bit.ly/HZy47l). Her article solicits all the pity normally reserved for Trust Fund Kids caught with cocaine at 3 a.m.

She’s right, though, you know. Those gates won’t keep trouble out. They keep the property values in.

“We can’t be bullied into changing who we are,” she opines. You already have, Ms. Booker.

I suggest a plan of action to rid you of this horrible angst you have imposed on yourself.

1. Sell the Gated Palace with the “forced conformity” and move to a modest home in a rural county.

2. Let the kids’ toys seek their natural place in the yard.

3. Leave your Christmas lights up all year.

4. Buy an engine hoist and put it in front of the garage next door.

5. Let the grass grow up around the mailbox post.

Just push that little door to your cage open, and fly to your freedom, Ms. Booker!

David Kensey Baker County

Sell the Gated Palace with the “forced conformity” and move to a modest home in a rural county.

Keep the Change

This is a response to David Jaffee’s Backpage Editorial on questioning the participation in a voting system that doesn’t necessarily consider the actual votes being put in by the people (April 3). As Jaffee mentions in the article, “the real political influence stems not from the ballot box, but from the checkbook.” So why does it even matter to cast a vote if the system is already rigged? It doesn’t make much sense at all and makes me wonder why people seem to feel obligated to pick the “better” politician of the unreliable bunch. It has been proven that most politicians cannot even live up to what they preach on the podium in the midst of their campaigning.

I agree with Jaffee in thinking that people should be more rational before even casting a vote and only do so “if the relationship between interest and political preference” is indeed met by some candidate. The people are not the ones to blame for acting as non-voters, it is the entire political system as a whole. It is indeed the ones who hold the biggest check, mainly corporate officials, that control the way things work in this country.

A more democratic system is desperately needed for the United States to truly enable voters an actual voice in politics. It takes radical change for this come about. This corruption of power shows that it is in fact illegitimate by nature and must be dissolved in order to change. Such dissolving of power can only be followed through if people recognize illegitimate powers and become active to spread word to seek new order.

Force alone has allowed such powers to maintain themselves, and it is force alone that can be used to overthrow them. If people continue to accept the way things stand, then political voice and freedom in America may never be achieved.

Andrew Hollingsworth Via email

Open Up

I’m an independent voter participating in a national lobbying campaign calling on Congress April 24-30, 2012 | folio weekly | 5

Locally Owned and Independent since 1987 9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 Phone: 904.260.9770 Fax: 904.260.9773 e-mail: info@folioweekly.com website: folioweekly.com

to hold hearings on the status of independent voters. The purpose of the hearings is to examine the ways partisanship is so hardwired into the political system, as to have created structural discrimination against independents, whom polls show are 40 percent of the electorate. As a result of those structural barriers, independents have a second-class status.

One example is that Florida and 18 other states have closed primary elections in which only members of a political party may vote. Independents, including those with no party affiliation, are expected to finance these primaries, but are excluded from participating in them. This is a form of taxation without representation.

Some states (such as Washington, California and now Arizona) are adopting a different system called a “top two” open primary, in which all voters are allowed to participate and choose a candidate regardless of party affiliation. The top two vote-getters then go on to the general election. This kind of reform, passed in states which have initiative and referendum, has been aggressively opposed by the political parties who want desperately to maintain their control over how elections are conducted.

Polls show the number of Americans identifying as independents has surpassed that of Democrat or Republican. This disconnect — between the growing independence of the citizenry and the highly partisan nature of our governing process — is creating an unhealthy situation for our democracy.

Independents feel structural reforms that lessen the power of partisanship are urgently needed in order that we may find genuine solutions to the problems we face. We are getting organized in Florida toward that goal.

James Poindexter Jacksonville via email

As a reader, please may I request that you not use cuss words and avoid sexually explicit topics.

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Marian Shebata St. Augustine

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44,200 press run • Audited weekly readership 127,212

Oh, Snap! Red-light cameras promise big revenue for the company behind them.

Redflex Menace

How the company behind Duval County’s red-light cameras became our default eyes in the sky I. It Could Have Happened Sooner

A

s Easter Sunday approached in Duval County, locals were concerned with an ascension that wasn’t altogether divine — not one involving the savior incarnate so much as surveillance in camera. Locals had qualms, but as often happens when the city changes the way it does business, the coverage in the local media was somewhat less than critical.

First Coast News, on its 11 p.m. newscast on Wednesday, April 4, sought to reassure viewers of the benign nature of the program.

“If you’re concerned about your privacy, the cameras will only take a picture of your car and your tag — not your face,” they noted.

And “while you may not be happy about the new red-light cameras coming here, it could have happened sooner. We found a JSO document, from January 2008, which projected that red-light cameras would be operational by mid-June 2008, nearly four years ago.”

There were solid reasons not to go forth in 2008 with the red-light cameras, even though the Jacksonville City Council had approved them a year earlier. For one thing, Florida law didn’t expressly permit redlight cameras at that point — an objection noted by the General Counsel’s Office after the council approved the spycams. Also, there were objections about whether the actual driver would be ticketed. As local personal-injury lawyer Eddie Farah blogged contemporaneously, “The legal question presented is: How do you know if the ticket will be issued to the correct person?”

The dubious legality of red-light cameras was what kept the Sheriff ’s Office from adopting them during the Peyton Administration, though it was clear they were on their way. In 2009, JSO issued a press release dispelling a “hoax email” that claimed 10 cameras were being installed around the city. A year later, Sheriff John Rutherford was quoted in the Times-Union as saying that he wanted red-light cameras at 10 intersections, in an article implying that the main factor mitigating against the adoption of the cameras was the lack of relevant

state legislation — a condition that would eventually change.

II. Red-Light Cameras in Florida — A Brief History

Despite their legal murkiness, cash-strapped municipalities in Florida began to adopt the technology. Orlando started using cameras in September 2008, and by July 2010 had issued 48,579 red-light tickets, levied more than $6.2 million in fines, and collected $4.3 million.

When the technology was challenged in court in August 2010, an Orange County circuit judge ruled that the money was to be refunded — because “the laudable goal” of operating the cameras was the province of the state, not the county.

“We always knew this day could come,” Orlando City Attorney Mayanne Downs said at the time, setting up an appeal that is still pending. “We thought this was a risk worth taking because of the program’s dramatic benefit to public safety.”

Aventura, a town in Dade County where a recent month saw three separate suicides at the local mall, instituted its Intersection Safety Camera Program in October 2008, and town leaders credited it with a 15 percent drop in car accidents citywide. Aventura accountants, meanwhile, credited the program with bringing $3 million into local coffers between September 2009 and July 2011. (To put that number in perspective, Aventura’s annual budget is $47 million.)

Officials in Aventura agitated for redlight cameras years before instituting them, lobbying state Sen. Gwen Margolis (D-Sunny Isles Beach) to push a bill through the Florida legislature. This effort proved initially unsuccessful, as some lawmakers had “right of privacy” concerns. Aventura City Commissioner Bob Diamond found such arguments incredible; as quoted in the Biscayne Times in September 2011, he said, “There is no right of privacy when you are driving a car.”

But in Orlando, and in other cities across the United States, a Redflex ticket was challenged in court, and thrown out on the grounds that it’s

APRIL 24-30, 2012 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 7

NewsBuzz Stacy Johnson and Gov. Scott

Mr. Clean “Don’t call me and ask me to break the law. I’m not going to break the law for nobody.”

— Nassau County Sheriff Tommy Seagraves, recounting to the Fernandina Beach News-Leader what he told Nassau County Commission Chair Stacy Johnson when (he alleges) she asked him not to release an incident report of her fight with another woman at The Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island, on March 9. Seagraves, who has himself been the subject of a two-year FBI probe, says he declined to withhold the report, which details how the 38-year-old Johnson walked up to 39-year-old Nancy Cannone and stated, “I just wanted you to know I deleted you off my Facebook account, you fat bitch.”

At that point, the report says, Cannone punched Johnson in the face. Later, when Cannone tried to leave, the report says, Johnson blocked her van while waving her arms and shouting, “I’m a county official.”

Officers said both women appeared intoxicated, but that no charges were filed because Johnson declined to press charges.

Ironic Pentameterr Runner, biker, competitive swimmer, barber, member of First Baptist Church, occasional hairnet ett wearer and a foe off Occupy Jacksonville ville — Just some of the hatss worn by Jacksonville Councilmember Don ville City Cou unc ncililme memb mber ber D on Redman, who’s perhaps best remembered as the councilmember who asked a Muslim UNF professor to “pray to his god” during a City Council meeting on his confirmation to the city’s Human Rights Commission.

Now Redman can add patron of the arts to his curriculum vitae. The Jacksonville Public Library asked Redman to judge its recent Jax Youth Poetry Slam because he represents the downtown district.

Redman, who’s not known for being particularly well read, didn’t return calls to his office at City Hall or to his business, Don’s Sportsman Barber Shop, asking for the name of his favorite poet.

Missing the Point

8 | FOLIO WEEKLY | APRIL 24-30, 2012

“Great day of fundraising events in S. Florida …

Our state is filled with some of the most dedicated Republicans in the country.”

— Tweet by City Councilmember Richard Clark on March 27, a day when he missed the City Council meeting for “business reasons.” Clark, who’s running for U.S. Congress, told The Florida Times-Union that he has tried to avoid missing city business in order to accommodate fundraising events, but he also missed the April 2 and April 16 meetings of the Transportation Energy and Utilities Committee and an April 17 meeting of the Finance and Tax Committee for campaign events.

issued by a machine and not an actual officer — therefore invalid under state law.

The law changed in 2011. The Mark Wandall Traffic Safety Act was passed, thanks in part to lobbying efforts by companies like Redflex, which acknowledged in a 2005 statement to the Australian Securities Exchange that “Redflex is active in supporting legislation with the USA market to promote the benefits of photo enforcement … and lobby efforts in specific states.”

sought “to deploy the high-speed wireless broadband technology-based traffic camera systems in many major cities in China (including Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou, Shenzhen and Nanjing)” and “catch the market” in “Camera Enforcement Systems” and “traffic management in China.”

The great thing about doing business in China is that whatever domestic criticism there might be of the program, chances are good no one on the outside will hear about

“The legal question presented is: How do you know if the ticket will be issued to the correct person?”

It’s not known how much Redflex spent lobbying Florida legislators on behalf of this legislation; however, American Traffic Systems — another major global player in the field, the domestic operations of which, like Redflex, are based in Arizona — spent $1.5 million on the effort. In spite of objections from AAA and other parties not connected with red-light industries, then-Gov. Charlie Crist signed the Wandall Act into law to “provide law enforcement with another effective tool to enforce safe and responsible driving.” e With the Wandall Act passed, Florida municipalities were free to explore this revenue m source without threat of legal challenge. s

IIII. Working Both Sides of the Street

Redflex Traffic Systems’ U.S. operations are R based in Arizona, but company headquarters are b in i Australia, and there are similarities between how h Redflex does business here and in countries where civil liberties are less of a priority. w In 2009, facing liquidity problems and tthe prospect of being dropped from the Australian Stock Exchange’s ASX300, Redflex made moves into the Chinese market, where the “global leader in the management of outsourced traffic infringement services”

it. The process by which Redflex became part of the traffic solution in China is necessarily opaque; we don’t know the players or the process. This is in contrast to the United States, where evidence indicates that a key to Redflex’s success — like that of so many corporations which have taken over state functions from managing prisons to driving school buses — has been influencing politicians from both major parties.

Perhaps the most vivid example of Redflex blurring the lines between the public sector and private interest is to our west, in Louisiana.

Charlie Buckels, who currently works for Redflex as a regional sales manager, is firmly ensconced in the hierarchy of the Louisiana Republican Party; he serves as a state party vice chair and as a member of the state central committee. Buckels also served as Newt Gingrich’s Louisiana campaign coordinator.

Buckels was brought into Redflex by Bryan Wagner, who knew the sales manager from his own involvement in the Republican Party. According to the New Orleans TimesPicayune in 2010, Wagner was involved in what could be called a kickback scheme: “Redflex had agreed to pay the former New Orleans City Councilman [Wagner] 3.2 percent of its portion of the Jefferson Parish ticket money

Brickbats to the Fernandina Beach City Commission for throwing out the recommendations of a city management consultant because they didn’t like his list of finalists. Commissioners asked the International City/County Manager Association to help them select a new city manager so that the search process would be handled professionally. But Commissioners Sarah Pelican, Jeffrey Bunch and Charles Corbett voted against accepting the consultant’s list. Observers suspect it’s because they want the job to go to former Fernandina Mayor Joe Gerrity. In lieu of the consultant’s recommendations, each commissioner will bring a list of his or her top five choices, from the original pool of 93 applicants, to a special meeting on April 24.

Bouquets to Karim Kurji, chief of Fleet Management for the city of Jacksonville, for seizing an opportunity to introduce a pair of electric Chevrolet Volts that will get 56 miles to a gallon into the city’s fleet at no additional cost. The city’s building inspection and public parking divisions will each use one of the electric cars. A federal grant will reimburse the city the $18,980 difference it costs to buy a $36,670 Volt instead of the standard Chevy Impala the city often purchases.

Bouquets to Community First Credit Union for looking to fund innovative ideas for community improvement. The credit union will give $1,000 every two weeks for 90 days to worthy projects and ideas submitted via its Facebook site.

The 2012 initiative, which is the second year the program has been offered, ends July 13. Any person or civic group with an idea about how to make Jacksonville a better place can submit ideas through the Facebook site. Facebook.com/ CommunityFirstCreditUnion

in exchange for helping the company get the contract. In turn, Wagner agreed to split half of his compensation with a fellow lobbyist in pitching the cameras to parish officials.”

Jefferson Parish’s administration of the program was fraught with controversy.

Redflex objected to the parish turning off the cameras amid concerns about payouts going to the company’s lobbyists, wanting

“What if the camera takes a picture and it appears that the driver is smoking a joint? What if the license plate in the photo has expired?” to terminate the five-year contract two years in, and holding monies received in escrow; the company subsequently sued the parish for breach. That suit has yet to be heard in Louisiana’s 24th Judicial District. The reason?

Five judges have (so far) had to recuse themselves, either because they helped to set up the policy or they had relationships with the legal teams involved.

In addition to working closely with Republican politicians, Redflex has cultivated relationships with Democrats. In Chicago, Mayor Rahm Emanuel is a veteran of the Clinton and Obama Administrations and a former U.S. Representative, and understands as well as anyone how business is done.

Right there beside him during his successful campaigns has been Greg Goldner, a Redflex “consultant” who was, in the words of Chicago Tribune reporters, “marshaling the patronage troops” to get Emanuel elected to Congress, and “doling out campaign cash” to friendly City Council candidates when Emanuel ran for mayor.

Perhaps coincidentally, Emanuel seeks to take extant red-light cameras that were installed during the previous administration and expand them into speed cameras — a classic example of mission creep.

For his part, Goldner at least acknowledged why the Tribune might have seen a connection between the mayor’s friendships and his actions, saying, “The fact is, you guys are going to write your story, and you know — it’s legitimate. It’s a legitimate news story … I can’t dispute it.”

lights. A few of these areas have even been forced to refund tickets because of this practice. Since a strong argument can be made that the cameras are intended for revenue as opposed to safety, private companies have an interest in writing as many tickets as possible.

It could be argued that these companies would actually benefit from such abuses.”

Carson believes that the potential for the expansion of the original mandate is omnipresent.

“This is Big Brother. The government is truly watching you,” he says. “As soon as the devices are installed, additional laws will be necessary. … What if the camera takes a picture and it appears that the driver is smoking a joint? What if the license plate in the photo has expired?”

As someone who believes all government intrusions should be viewed with skepticism, Carson adds, “I feel that an Orwellian society may be coming sooner than anyone thinks.”

The cameras also present constitutional issues in three key areas: burden of proof, the right to confront one’s accuser and notice issues. And as other critics observe, redlight cameras significantly increase rear-end collisions, and don’t achieve better safety outcomes than longer yellow caution lights.

But, Carson adds, safety is a secondary concern to cash flow.

“Many of those who are proponents of such cameras — politicians — are buying the selling points of companies such as Redflex,” he says, “without looking at the big picture.”

V. The Big Picture

Well, what is the big picture? Interested in official counterpoint, Folio Weekly contacted the mayor’s Chief of Staff Chris Hand, who offered no comment, and Mayoral Communications Director Dave DeCamp, who responded, “The Sheriff ’s Office is taking reporters’ questions on this.”

Jacksonville Sheriff John Rutherford’s Special Assistant, Lauri-Ellen Smith, responded that specifics weren’t available absent a final contract. But she acknowledges that

IV. Mission Creep

For some locals, what happens in Chicago is an abstract concern.

But for Jacksonville lawyer Chris Carson of the firm Dale Carson Law, there is grave potential for abuse from the purportedly innocuous cameras.

“There are proven abuses,” says Carson. “Some jurisdictions have increased revenue by shortening the time on yellow

April 24-30, 2012 | folio weekly | 9

Rutherford’s office wanted to implement redlight cameras earlier, and deferred in light of mitigating reasons. “As you probably know, after the local ordinance passed, the sheriff and General Counsel Howard Maltz had concerns about the lawsuits against municipalities

crash locations.”

If nothing else, the JSO seems to be learning from the mistakes of early adopters of red-light cameras. Regarding the $158 to be collected for each citation, the money is earmarked for “the state’s health administrative trust fund” and

“Since a strong argument can be made that the cameras are intended for revenue as opposed to safety, private companies have an interest in writing as many tickets as possible. It could be argued that these companies would actually benefit from such abuses.” around Florida that had already approved and installed red-light cameras,” says Smith.

“The sheriff decided to work with the state legislature to ensure there would be legislation that would formally authorize their installation.

The Wandall Act was the result.”

Regarding concerns that the cameras could be used for purposes other than those authorized, Smith says that “is a matter of opinion, which everyone is entitled to. But cameras that capture the photo of the license plate and vehicle [as opposed to a photo of the face of the driver] in the commission of a specific traffic violation that is proven to cause serious injury or even death can help reduce the costly effects of crashes and injury and correct bad driving behavior.”

Contrary to assertions from other quarters, Smith denies that profit drives the program. “There is no concern by the sheriff about revenue. Preventing crashes; saving lives; preventing serious impact to peoples insurance rates: these are [Rutherford’s] primary concerns. … We’re working to design a program that will be cost neutral, at the least.

The goal is to place the cameras in approaches to intersections that have proven to be a high-volume red-light-running and

Village Square Parkway, Fleming Island, April 9 10 | folio weekly | April 24-30, 2012

“the brain and spinal cord injury trust.”

Smith also makes clear that administering the program will not require additional personnel, and “there will be extensive public notification of the EXACT locations of every camera that is being installed PRIOR to the program beginning.” There will also be a 30day “grace period,” in which warnings will be sent out in lieu of citations.

VI. Simply Red

If polls mean anything, this is a time when there is sufficient political capital to install red-light cameras. A recent survey by FrederickPolls claims that 72 percent of all Floridians support “Florida’s red-light safety camera program.” This statistic jibes nicely with Mayor Alvin Brown’s recent approval numbers in the 75 percent range. Questions may remain about the compatibility of redlight cameras with traditional concepts of civil liberties, but there will be no meaningful resistance to their installation, a seemingly new idea years in the making.

AG Gancarski themail@folioweeky.com @AGGancarski

Last Dance “It is my home, the only real home, spiritually, I have in the United States.”

— Acclaimed ballet dancer and choreographer Mikhail Baryshnikov, telling The Wall Street Journal what White Oak Plantation in Yulee has meant to him. The newspaper reported the 7,500-acre estate, which is home to 720 rare and endangered animals and has been a refuge for both celebrities and politicians, is for sale. The value of the property is estimated at $30 million. Baryshnikov, who defected from the Soviet Union in 1974, had a troupe in residence at White Oak and he’s stayed there frequently. He told the WSJ, “My family goes there the way some people go to church.”

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It Takes a Village “Bring a lawn chair, move it around, set it down and talk to people.”

— How Mayport historian Sandra Tuttle suggests one enjoy the 450th anniversary of Mayport Village. The April 28 Heritage Festival will commemorate the 1562 landing of French Huguenot Captain Jean Ribault at Mayport and his meeting of the Timucuan Indians there. The celebration, held from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., will include a re-enactment of Ribault’s landing, tales from locals in rocking chairs, and music, as well as the Mayport Fishing Village Reunion Fish Fry.

UNF Public Relations Associate Director Joanna Norris was in the strange position recently of promoting her own event. According to a press release, “Singer/songwriter Joanna Norris, associate director for Public Relations, will perform songs from her CD, ‘Walkin’ on Water’” as part of the school’s UNiFied Fridays performances. She even quoted herself: “My journey, like most people, hasn’t always been easy. The Lord has used the dark, difficult times in my life as well as His daily blessings in my life to mold me and make me into the person I am today,” she said.

“My original lyrics reflect my life journey with God, and I feel He wants me to use those life experiences to give others hope and to point them to Him.”

Anything But a Drag “RuPocalypse” — Title of JASMYN’s 12th annual LGBT alternative youth prom, a nod to the reality TV star, host, singer, former MAC Cosmetic model and genderbending drag queen RuPaul. The Jacksonville Area Sexual Minority Youth Network is collecting donations of fancy dresses and formal wear for the gender-playful prom at Vintage Recalled, 817 Lomax St. For information on the prom, which is held on Friday, May 4, contact JASMYN at 389-3857.

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© 2012

April 24-30, 2012 | folio weekly | 11

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Nanny State

Jacksonville casting call for “America’s Supernanny” is reality TV wrapped in a cry for help

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12 | folio weekly | April 24-30, 2012

f you’ve ever been in line at a big box store and seen and heard children who are out of control while their parents watch helplessly, you have probably wondered why people who have kids can’t figure out how to handle them. Likewise, if you are one of those beleaguered parents, you might find yourself wondering where it all went wrong and hoping it can be rectified. Luckily, for a few select parents, help — at least via the magic of television — is out there.

“America’s Supernanny,” currently on Lifetime, the television network best known for gynocentric melodramas, is returning for a new season, and last Saturday, the show was casting in Jacksonville. Producers asked that “families in need of solutions for their unique parenting challenges … who want to take back control .. apply NOW.” The red, white and blue fliers distributed at the event contained the silhouette of “Nanny Jo” with a star-spangled parasol, denoting patriotic nature of the Jacksonville recruitment effort.

“Supernanny” got its start in the United Kingdom in the middle of the last decade, and a few years later the franchise was introduced to the local market. Casting calls are being held nationwide, as they have been for previous 2011 iterations of the show, according to Tracy Risby, the thirtysomething producer of the Northeast Florida auditions, held at Adventure Landing on a cool, breezy morning in Jax Beach.

Risby conducted two-minute, “very quick, brief interviews” that served as prescreening events for the Shed Media LA production team. The guidelines are pretty straightforward.

“We’re looking for families to be featured,” Risby explained. “Two to three kids, with ages staggered, and with all kids able to speak.” If the screening interview goes well, “producers call the families within the day.”

2012 Risby interviewed people at the prior night’s Jacksonville Suns game — “about 20,” she said, “but most of them were just curious about the show.”

Attendance at Adventure Landing for the screening likewise was sparse, with candidates like thirtysomething single mom Tanya Dedek, with her 4-year-old son Nicholas in tow, who hoped the Supernanny would address her inability to discipline her child.

“It seems like he listens to everyone but me,” Dedek told Folio Weekly. “He has a hard time following directions, he doesn’t listen and he talks back. If he doesn’t like what I tell him, he says he will hit me.” Dedek has watched the show, and hopes to “learn something” from Nanny Jo, should she be selected.

Shannon Dukes is typical of many mothers in Jacksonville in the 21st century. She raises

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three sons from a previous marriage who have profound disorders, and is in a second marriage with a man who also has three children. This scenario worked out pretty smoothly on “The Brady Bunch,” but in real life, it is fraught with complications. Dukes’ oldest son has autism and ADHD; her younger son has been diagnosed with ADHD as well. While her youngest son has yet to be diagnosed officially, Dukes relates, “he has lots of troubles at school” and a “constant battle” with the children’s biological father, who “doesn’t believe in medication” to address these psychological disorders.

“I’ve seen the show and seen how she helped the families. I’m going out of my mind,” says Dukes, in a poolside interview. “My kids are out of control.”

Not every family auditioning has such profound issues — which, in the context of the show, likely means they won’t be selected. Gale Winn and her daughter, whose first name is also Winn (she has a different last name), were among the first to arrive. Compared to those faced by Mrs. Dukes and her brood, the issues with this family are comparatively minor.

Gale told Folio Weekly that “I want the best life possible for my daughter, as many opportunities as possible, and the best education possible.” Her hope was that Supernanny would be a vehicle to achieving that.

The daughter’s hopes, likewise, were modest. “The house can improve. I’d like to get closer to my mom, to get to know her better and to try to get along.”

AG Gancarski themail@folioweekly.com

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Thirtysomething single mom Tanya Dedek, with her 4-year-old son Nicholas, hoped the Supernanny would address her inability to discipline her child. “It seems like he listens to everyone but me.”

What You Got There?

From cookies to caskets, local businesses share their wares at the Chamber Trade Show

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.S. President “Silent” Cal Coolidge famously said once that “the business of America is business.” Jacksonville is no exception to that axiom.

There are many means to that end; one of them is the annual Jax Chamber Trade Show, held this year on a balmy Tuesday evening at University of North Florida’s University Center, its home for the second straight year.

The Chamber Trade Show, as the press release puts it, “brings business owners and professionals together for an evening of networking and product demonstrations and samplings.” Three hundred professionals and 70 businesses, to be exact. And there were many delicacies to be sampled — everything from shrimp dishes to wine to cookies. An enterprising attendee could probably have an entire dinner of samples alone.

But samples aren’t the primary reason for the show. According to the Chamber’s Michelle Danisovsky, “The trade show provides an opportunity for local businesses to promote their goods and services … encourages citizens to buy from local businesses and facilitates small business growth.”

Media organizations like The Florida Times-Union, Jacksonville Business Journal, and WOKV news/talk radio were out in force. Representatives from the Jaguars were also on hand, “prospecting” season ticket buyers and offering a mini-helmet signed by Blaine Gabbert for a raffle item. The most interesting exhibits, however, were off the beaten path.

One such exhibit was Flippin’ Good Cookies. Its specialty: image cookies, bearing iconic images like the Jacksonville skyline and the Jaguars logo. According to Mike Newton,

Hardage-Giddens Funeral Homes rep Tina Washburn says today’s funeral biz is more “upbeat” than in the past.

Washburn, can attest. Washburn is quick to dispel Folio Weekly’s misconceptions about the funeral racket.

“Today we make things upbeat,” she says, adding that the “younger generation” of funeral directors are much more normal, even “fun,” than the musty old stereotypes who have prevailed over the years. “We create celebration of life events.”

Hardage-Giddens isn’t an exclusively local concern by any means. Its 2,000 locations reach throughout the continental United States and Canada. Washburn’s agenda at the event is to get people to preplan and prepay for their eternal storage.

“We want to encourage people to prearrange,” explains Washburn. “That way, they lock in the costs of the contract.”

The need for funeral services will never disappear. The same can’t be said for AT&T’s

“We’re here trying to promote our business, to get our name out, to let people know we’re still here,” says Adam Scrivener, an account executive for Yellow Pages.

“People need to know that print is still relevant.”

Sober-minded people may disagree. who owns the business in tandem with his wife of 36 years, Janice, 600 of those Jag cookies were made recently. Flippin’ Good has been around now for four years.

“I used to cater, and we just went to cookies after Mike’s job went away,” says Janice. (I can now personally swear to the delicate goodness of their shortbread cookies, and to the definite bite in their Sweet & Spicy concoctions.)

Of course, business in Jacksonville isn’t all about cookies; end of life concerns come into play, too, as the thirtysomething representative from Hardage-Giddens Funeral Homes, Tina

Real Yellow Pages, which lurches closer to obsolescence with each page turn on the calendar. But local Yellow Pages reps at the show are undaunted by extant trends.

“We’re here trying to promote our business, to get our name out, to let people know we’re still here,” says Adam Scrivener, an account executive for the company. “People need to know that print is still relevant.”

Sober-minded people may disagree.

That said, a quick visit to the PRP Wine Booth might inspire even the most devoted teetotaler to reconsider. The PRP Wine Booth

is among the most crowded at the event; Folio Weekly observed many visitors sampling varieties of wine of Australian, Chilean and French extraction.

One of the reasons for the booth’s popularity may be its charming presenter, Elle Ousfar. The former flight attendant has been in the wine game for only a few months, but she sees parallels between her former career and her current one.

“It’s about helping — entertaining and educating people,” the striking sommelier insists as she pours a refill for an evidently thirsty customer.

Perhaps the most inspirational person and cause at the whole Chamber Tarde Show is Bill Taylor, a retiree and a volunteer at Northeast Florida Community Hospice, a nonprofit that has been in Florida since 1978. Community Hospice didn’t have to give much away to get people to visit its booth, since its whole mission is providing one of the most profound gifts of all — a transition out of this life into whatever comes next.

“We’re here to spread the word about the hospice, advanced directives and living wills,” offers the white-haired Taylor, who’s been volunteering for two years and says he hasn’t “done anything before half as rewarding as this.”

Taylor was inspired to volunteer by a friend whose mother was a patient, and by his wife, who also volunteers at Hospice.

Some may believe end-of-life care is difficult. According to Taylor, though, “It’s not as difficult as most people think. Patients are prepared for the end, and we try to make it as meaningful and comfortable as we can.”

Taylor is able to detach himself from the inevitable. “There is a brief period of sadness when they pass, but I know that I helped them.”

AG Gancarski themail@folioweeky.com @aggancarski

APRIL 24-30, 2012 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 13

Sportstalk

Land of Confusion

High, low and in between: A Jags 2012 draft preview

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he NFL draft starts on Thursday, and what do we know so far? We know that Stanford standout Andrew Luck likely will go first to the Colts, and Baylor baller Robert Griffin III should end up in Washington with the Redskins. But after that? A lot of question marks.

The Jaguars have the seventh pick in this year’s draft. It’s possible there will be some blue chip talent available — the hot name for much of the off-season has been Justin Blackmon, the wide receiver from Oklahoma State who wowed some observers toward the end of last year. Ryan Tannehill — the Texas A&M quarterback who converted to the position from wide receiver — has climbed up the draft prognosticators’ chart, and there have been some who have ignorantly linked him to the hometown team, apparently forgetting that the Jags have two young, developing quarterbacks already on the roster, with significant resources committed to each. Some folks want to see former Gator cornerback Janoris Jenkins

© 2012

express such a psychological need to come to Jacksonville will be the first.

As Stellino also points out, the Jags will be picking in the Top 10 this year for the fifth consecutive season. The trouble is, the Jags’ history is littered with first-round picks that have been less than sensational. Matt “Foot Locker” Jones, who retired from football before age 30. Reggie Williams, who can’t even be found on Google News at this point.

Derrick Harvey, who washed out fairly quickly after not providing the pass rush the team needed. Tyson Alualu and Eugene Monroe have been adequate, but neither has been the type of player who puts fear in opposing coaches. Most draft picks don’t work out; they are always speculative buys. But in the case of the Jags, the speculation has often led to sucker bets that haven’t translated to stats, wins, box office or national notoriety. And stating so baldly that the team wants to trade out of the spot suggests they’re scared of messing

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Most draft picks don’t work out; they are always speculative buys. But in the case of the Jags, the speculation has often led to sucker bets that haven’t translated to stats, wins, box office or national notoriety.

drafted by the Jags, but he’s a classic “red flag” player who smokes more weed than Wiz Khalifa and the No Limit Soldiers combined.

The NFL frowns on marijuana usage, as it mitigates the effects of concussions and brain trauma, and the league likes for players to enter Chris Benoit mode once their careers are over.

Thus, the “talented but troubled” Janoris may be a bad investment. So what’s left?

Longtime Times-Union writer Vito Stellino argued recently that the Jags are looking to trade down from number seven — a fine strategy, and one has to appreciate the team’s braintrust announcing that like it’s a Bluelight Special at Kmart. As Stellino contends, unless the Jags have a deal worked out already or an elite player in sight, they will be “working the phones in a last ditch attempt to trade down and collect more picks.”

Great strategy! Bill Belichick has pulled it off in New England for years. But there’s a vast difference between the Patriots and the Jags. For one thing, players clamor to play for Belichick — former Bengal Chad Ochocinco, to name one, lobbied for it like he was a college junior bucking for an internship. Randy Moss was forced out of New England’s football Eden, and spent the next couple of years maundering about how he wanted back. The next player to 14 | FOLIO WEEKLY | APRIL 24-30, 2012

up once again. Recall that General Manager Gene Smith was a holdover from previous ownership; he could easily find himself “All Out” with one bad draft this year, so the stakes are high for him.

The team has made some moves in free agency, but they’ve been about as sexy as Mother Angelica’s lingerie collection. Laurent Robinson had a nice year for Dallas last year in single coverage, and Shahid Khan has liked him for a long time. But is Laurent — injury-prone, with many stops in his young career — ready to be the No. 1 Stunner for the Jags’ receiving corps? Time will tell.

The Jags likewise invested in more damaged goods with the signing of Lee “Butterfingers” Evans, who underwhelmed in Baltimore last year after several disappointing seasons in Buffalo. He’s 31; it’s fair to ask how much of his legendary speed he has left. But between the signings of these two vets, it’s hard to see the Jags moving toward a wideout on the first day of the draft.

Wherever the Jags go in the draft, questions will be asked; the only definitive answers will be found this fall, when play finally resumes.

AG Gancarski themail@folioweekly.com Twitter @AGGancarski

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Let’s Have Sex Week!

L

adies … you’re lucky. Sure, you may be headbashing the glass ceiling at work, getting paid pennies to a man’s dollar — BUT! At least you have Lifetime network. Billed as “Television for Women,” Lifetime features programming depicting women at their most heroic. For example, movies like “My Stepson, My Lover” (ewww), “Casualties of Love: The Long Island Lolita Story” (aka that crappy Amy Fisher movie starring SQUEEEEE! Alyssa Milano), and “She Woke Up Pregnant” (last time she’ll go to that dentist). As I say, you gals are lucky.

Damn it, why can’t men have a network that spotlights how we’re victimized, while inspiring us to work up the courage to kill our spouses?

OH! Speaking of Lifetime, the network has a brand new show debuting, “7 Days of Sex” (Thur., April 26, 10 p.m.). According to the press release, the reality show follows

“7 Days of Sex” challenges the bickering couples to rescue their relationship by … you guessed it! “Having sex for one week straight.”

(As opposed to having sex for one week “gay” which sounds more fun to me.) couples whose marriages are disintegrating.

HOWEVER! Instead of taking the logical step (like … ohhh, I don’t know … maybe seeing a marriage counselor?), “7 Days of Sex” challenges the bickering couples to rescue their relationship by … you guessed it! “Having sex for one week straight.” (As opposed to having sex for one week “gay” which sounds more fun to me.)

Now … this is a FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC IDEA! Obviously, the main reason most women no longer want to have sex with their husbands is because they’re not required to do so every single day. But now that they are required, women everywhere will finally realize what their marriage has been missing: a fat, sweaty, balding man.

In fact, this is such a FAN-FREAKINGTASTIC IDEA, I decided to try it on my three ex-wives. Yes … I know. They despise me. But! Up until now, I haven’t asked them to have sex with me every day for a week! Here’s the email I sent all three: “Dear ex-Mrs. Wm.™ Steven Humphrey Nos. 1, 2 and 3: I sense a growing tension between us. And while my near-constant philandering, alcohol/drug abuse, and ‘monkeys on roller skates’ obsession may be partially to blame, I believe I have the solution: Have sex with me every day for one week.

Now, before you say ‘no,’ remember — Lifetime said ‘yes.’ And Lifetime is YOUR network!

Therefore, they know what’s best for you, and what’s best is to have a weeklong marathon of lovemaking. I eagerly await your reply.

Sincerely, your ex-husband, Humpy.”

While awaiting their replies, let me offer a

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slide show of my recent visitpromise to a Honduran STD of benefit clinic, where … wait. THEY’VE REPLIED!!

“Dear Wm.™ Steven Humphrey: You are hereby legally restrained from coming within 500 yards of my clients (Ex-Mrs. Wm.™ Steven Humphrey Nos. 1, 2 and 3). Expect severe legal repercussions if this order is violated by you in any way, shape or form. Signed, Ian Larson, Attorney at Law.” Huh. “Dear ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends of Wm.™ Steven Humphrey Nos. 1-327 … ”

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TUESDAY, APRIL 24 8:00 FOX GLEE The gleetards devote their show to Whitney Houston. Hasn’t she suffered enough??

9:00 FOX NEW GIRL Unwilling to admit her true feelings, Cece encourages Schmidt to date her beautiful roommate. Ummm … OK!

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 25 9:00 ABC DON’T TRUST THE BITCH IN APARTMENT 23 James (Van DerBeek) is psyched for his new role in a body-switching film! (I hope he switches with Joey or Pacey.)

10:00 SYFY TOTAL BLACKOUT Debut! A creepy competition where all the challenges take place in a pitch-dark room. Even creepier? It’s hosted by Urkel!!

© 2012

THURSDAY, APRIL 26 9:00 BRAVO DON’T BE TARDY FOR THE WEDDING Debut! One of the mentally challenged Real Housewives of Atlanta prepares for her wedding, and — that title is just mean!

9:30 NBC PARKS AND RECREATION Leslie faces Bobby Newport (Paul Rudd) in a televised debate! (SQUEEEEEE!! VOTE PAUL RUDD!!)

FRIDAY, APRIL 27 9:00 NBC GRIMM A construction worker’s death brings reapers to town — and they aren’t shooting photos for Architecture Digest.

SATURDAY, APRIL 28 9:00 SYFY SPACE TWISTER (Movie) (2012) Didn’t I write a blurb for the Alien Tornado movie last week? THINK OF NEW IDEAS, GUYS! 9:00 A&E FLIPPED OFF Debut! A new reality show about house flippers in Houston — because no one’s ever thought of this idea EVER.

SUNDAY, APRIL 29 10:00 AMC MAD MEN Sally Draper helps out a relative — perhaps with some small assistance from Secanol?

10:00 HBO GIRLS OH, GREAT. Hannah’s got an STD. Luckily, I know of a great clinic in Honduras …

MONDAY, APRIL 30 10:30 MTV MONEY FROM STRANGERS Debut! A comedian offers people on the street money to pull pranks on strangers. This cannot end well.

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey steve@portlandmercury.com

April 24-30, 2012 | folio weekly | 15

Walter Coker

“Hundreds of bathers and strollers at Jacksonville Beach yesterday afternoon witnessed two thrilling rescues by volunteer lifeguards near the treacherous waters of the pier, when Mrs. Willie Ray Johnson was brought to shore unconscious and Ralph Richerts of Valdosta, Ga., was saved from a runout that was taking him to sea.”

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he story ran in the Aug. 9, 1926 edition of the Pablo Beach News, but it might have appeared in any year since. It’s the same beach, the same runouts, the same corps of volunteer lifeguards plucking bathers from the still-treacherous Atlantic. They even wear the same tank-top-style suits — which, fortunately, haven’t been made of wool since 1948.

The Jacksonville Beach American Red Cross Volunteer Lifesaving Corps has been chalking up cases of rescued beachgoers since April 1912 — 1,511 lives and counting.

Indeed, Corps lore has it that they haven’t had a death yet, in more than 1,361,132 volunteer hours. (Records confirm none since 1968.)

A volunteer lifeguard, known as a “surfman” (even the women), is stationed at every chair on Jax Beach each Sunday and holiday. All other days, the city of Jacksonville Beach staffs the chairs, hiring from within the Corps lifeguard squad. “We’re the training arm of the Jacksonville Beach lifeguards,” explains Corps Board Chairman Maurice Rudolph, while giving a tour of the iconic station at the terminus of Beach Boulevard. “On Sundays and holidays, we work for free on behalf of the city to protect the public.”

It’s a tradition, and the lifeguards take tradition seriously — including the white-striped, tank-top suits. “We wear the oldstyle uniforms,” says Rudolph, “in respect for our forefathers who built this place.”

In the middle of the last century, there were dozens of American Red Cross Volunteer Life Saving Corps around the country. Today, the Jax Beach Corps is the only one left. And 16 | folio weekly | April 24-30, 2012

on April 29, when they open the beach with a freshly trained group of between 80 and 100 guards, including perhaps 15 surfmen recruits, they’ll be celebrating their 100th birthday.

They will also celebrate the rededication of the newly expanded and restored station, built in 1947. An October gala will cap the centennial celebration.

That this Corps is thriving — with a winter recruiting class more than twice the normal turnout — while others have died out is a testament to both the enduring allure of the lifeguard job (and certain associated perks, like the $50-a-year beach dorms) and the respect accorded the job. But more than that, the Corps’ longevity is rooted in a studied devotion to tradition that bends with the times but never breaks.

This Ain’t No Pool

Near the bottom of the battleship-gray staircase in the lifeguard station is a framed and fading 1939 magazine article hung on

organization whose one constant over 100 years has been a shortage of funds, and which gets 80 percent of its funding from the community.

The chronicle continues in the classroom/club area, which is filled with a photographic history of the club and features a red-felt pool table in the back. “I remember looking at these pictures when I was 16, and these guys were like heroes,” Rudolph muses.

He points to himself on the wall, from the winter class of 1987. “Everything is by seniority,” says Rudolph, whose Corps’ nickname (every surfman has one) is “Space Cowboy” and whose recruitment year is W ’87. “You come in here, say you’re Winter of ’87, and you get the pool table,” he says with a grin.

Back in 1911, there were no guards, just lots of drownings at what was then known as Pablo Beach. So in 1912, Clarence H. McDonald and Dr. Lyman G. Haskell started the United States Volunteer Life Saving Corps, Station No. 1. By 1916, Miami and other seaport cities were studying and emulating

Surfman Carl McKenney recalls giving mouth-to-mouth to a drowning sailor. “It was like just one breath, and the guy threw up on me and came back around.” the wall. Rudolph calls it “one of the highpoints in our history,” when the guards were featured on the cover of Life Magazine.

“We were the predominant experts in ocean rescue and open water lifesaving,” explains Rudolph. “The Red Cross always did pools, but we developed all these techniques for open water rescue in waves and currents.”

Another couple of steps, another article — this one about a $190,000 donation from a foundation whose family members were saved by Corps guards. That’s a nice tip for an

the Pablo Beach Corps. Drownings declined, and beach recreation increased.

In 1919, Jacksonville surfman Henry Walters invented a lifesaving device that would be named for him — the Walters Torpedo Buoy. The design is still used by lifeguards around the world, and it allows guards to save people without getting close enough for them to claw onto their heads. Previously, lifeguards used a donut ring that was a drag on swimming and limited in the number of people it could support. Walters’ welded double-

Walter Coker

Gus Hapsis, the 79-year-old surfman who manages Corps archives, spends his days sifting through clippings and photos in an effort to maintain and document the group’s history.

pointed torpedo was sleek in the water and could support six people.

In 1968, surfman John Landon went after a group of swimmers being swept out to sea and got all five of them on his Walters Torpedo Buoy — including a twentysomething guy, who, like many proud and foolish victims, initially refused Landon’s offer of help.

Surfman Carl McKenney told about giving mouth-to-mouth on his buoy to a drowning sailor, recalling, “It was like just one breath and the guy threw up on me and came back

Aside from amusing stories, the index of newspaper headlines brings old beach scenes to life.

1913: End of First Year — 22 People Saved, 23 Treated with First Aid 1920: Lifeguards Drag 15 From Surf in One Day: Busiest Day in 10-Year Existence … volunteer lifesavers covered in glory and bruises 1928: Huge Crowd at Beach. One Spectacular Rescue by New Surfman. Pair Saved … towed

In his autobiography, “Through My Eyes,” Tim Tebow recalls being rescued by a volunteer lifeguard at Jacksonville Beach, and credits the “close call” with inspiring him to come to Jesus.

Hapsis hasn’t yet found a record of that rescue. around.” The sailor wrapped his arms and legs around the buoy and rode it like a pogo stick all the way in, which wasn’t proper technique, but it worked.

Lifesaving takes many forms in the Corps, but Rudolph observes that there is just one thing that sustains the group. “[Tradition is] what keeps this volunteer organization alive.”

Part of maintaining that tradition falls to “Gus” Hapsis, a 79-year-old former surfman, who manages the Corps archives in the basement of the Red Cross’ Riverside headquarters. Brown-bagging his lunch, he spends his day organizing years of news clippings and documents. And he cross-checks other mentions of the Corps, including Tim Tebow’s recollection in his book “Through My Eyes” of being rescued by a volunteer lifeguard at Jax Beach after being caught in a riptide.

Tebow credits the “close call” with inspiring him to come to Jesus. Hapsis hasn’t yet found a record of that rescue.

The work is often entertaining, like when Hapsis came across the report about a Saturday night search at the old dance pier for a woman thought to have drowned. The guards fanned out into the surf and found the woman, “wearing only a bra and step-in.” After they revived her by resuscitation, the report says, “the thanks she gave was a good cussing out of the guards, because it was not her desire to be saved, and they had ‘butted in.’ ”

© 2012

FolioWeekly

them to shore amid cheers of the crowd 1943: Life-Saving Corps Depleted by Men in War Service. Seeking recruits for duty. Age limit lowered 1945: Tots Rescued by Red Cross Lifesavers.

Parents of six children saved … expressed deep appreciation 1967: 29 Pulled From Sea at Beach Hapsis says the most rescues he personally saw was in 1955, when he and other surfmen saved 15 in one day. He believes the local Corps’ one-day record is 50.

A Few Good Boyz

From the start, the volunteer corps was based on military discipline and a Navy command structure. In the past, any surfman could blackball a prospective recruit. Today, if you pass the requirements, you’re in the Corps, which is how the lifeguards refer to themselves in public. (In member slang, they’re “the boyz,” a term even female surfmen use.) The group demands eight years of service — every Sunday and holiday — after which you can retire as a member for life, enjoying the facilities and camaraderie, and bumping young pups off the pool table.

Back in the day, recruits went through hell. Today, they go through refined hell.

They don’t endure traditional hazing, like the

APRIL 24-30, 2012 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 17

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Photos courtesy of George Hapsis

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1. Beach patrol and truck, 1944.

2. Brothers Julian and Marion Fulcher in 1948, with the buoy invented by Jax Beach surfman Henry W. Walters three decades earlier.

3. The lifeguard station in 1930, when access to the lookout tower required scaling a peg-lined pole.

4. Surfman Ernest Porter and his dog in 1925.

5. The 1952 Corps in line, with the Ferris wheel at Ocean View Pavilion Amusement Park in the background.

(Corps archivist Gus Hapsis is pictured at the front of the line, bottom left.)

18 | folio weekly | April 24-30, 2012

old belt gauntlet on the beach — the final initiation in which guard members lined up and hit each recruit surfman with his belt as they passed, before falling baptismally into the water. (That particular tradition ended

the glue that hold it together, says Rudolph.

He was a geeky boy from Costa Rica having trouble with the culture and his accent when he tried out for the Corps. “I had an older guy, 27, as my mentor. He helped me out with many

“Everyone hears terrible stories about how the lifeguards are too harsh with recruits,” says 29-year-old retired member Jelisse Marrero. “I thought that myself: ‘What’s wrong with these people? Why are they being so mean?’ ” things, made sure I stayed in school and went to college.”

George Paugh (“Coach”), a 69-year-old retired surfman, was manning the radio room on the day Rudolph gave the station tour. Paugh is resident coach at the station, trainer of the trainers (he coached swimming, football and wrestling at Fletcher High) and he heads up the all-important Junior Lifeguard Corps, a series of summer camps that groom recruits and is a major source of income. He once rescued five people from the same runout while out surfing on his day off.

“I’ve been doing this since the summer of ’64,” says Paugh. “It’s fun. I get to go out surfing, be in the water. The people here are great to be around, they’re good people.”

View from the Tower

Up the station’s narrow winding staircase, at the top of the red tower, is the hot seat of the organization: The Peg. From here, a surfman surveys the entire coverage area. On a busy Sunday, 70,000 people may unload onto Jax Beach. One lifeguard can be responsible for 1,000 in his or her area.

Walter Coker

some time in the ’80s.) Still, it’s like boot camp, with lots of physical conditioning and psychological challenges.

“Everyone hears terrible stories about how the lifeguards are too harsh with recruits,” says 29-year-old retired member Jelisse Marrero, W ’01. “And when I went through class, I thought that myself: ‘What’s wrong with these people?

Why are they being so mean?’ “ “The reason why,” Marrero continues, “is because … people have to have that mental focus in order to do what you’re supposed to, while people are all around you screaming and yelling.”

Marrero, whose nickname was J. Lo (“It’s the way I look”), learned to take it — and eventually to dish it out. As a Corps instructor, she earned a reputation as a hard ass. And she pulled no punches when teaching recruits water confidence.

“We throw them into the water and do a lot of active drowning-victim scenarios, a panicked person. And you exaggerate it,” says Marrero. “Some people think it’s wrong. But you need that training when you have people who are so scared — I’ve had them just jump on me in the water.” Marrero, who didn’t swim until she went out for the Corps, says the key is developing the sense that water is where you’re safest. “Once that [drowning] person knows that you are under control, they start assessing the situation in a less-panicked state and realize they are going to be OK.” Surfmen say it’s hard to get in the Corps, and even harder to stay in. Giving up every holiday and Sunday for eight years with no pay is a serious commitment, even if one of the perks is a dirt-cheap beach dorm. “The training winds recruits uptight so they are ready to go,” says Rudolph. “If not, we get rid of them within the first month, usually.”

Not every 16-year-old newbie proves able to focus amid the distractions of crowds, social life and admiring, scantily clad members of the opposite sex. Life-guarding remains a great way to hook up. And the Corps’ reputation for having a good time off duty is legendary.

Military-style discipline comes into play not just in the training, but as a means of keeping surfmen on the straight and narrow.

“All employers have trouble with 16-yearolds showing up: We don’t,” says Rudolph.

“Any public discredit, they know without a shadow of a doubt that they will be discharged.

You see the guy on the tower next to you talking to someone for a long period, you tell him in the truck: ‘Hey, man, watch your water.’

It only takes once.”

The older surfmen who stick around are

“Every tower [lifeguard chair] is in a different position, and they all have traditional names of what was there in old days. Like Mermaid, North Beach, North North, Sea Ranch, George Washington and Surf Motel,” says Rudolph, surveying an empty Tuesday morning beach on a grey day. “Working up here, you have to have the names of all 30 towers memorized and their location. If a tower goes down or a flag goes down, you have to relay that to the station.”

A flag-signaling system backs up the radio system. To keep mentally alert, lifeguards rotate towers every hour, a practice unique to the Corps. The cardinal rule is simple: A good lifeguard is a dry lifeguard. Sometimes that means calling people out of the water before trouble — or a runout — takes them.

“You have to be conscientious and very knowledgeable of the ocean and its hazards,” says Paugh. “You also need to have a keen observation of people, knowing which ones would be more likely to get in danger quicker.

You’re assessing all that from your tower.”

One of the most frustrating and frequent situations is a CSP or a PSC. “Child Seeking Parent or Parent Seeking Child,” says Paugh.

“Parents expect everyone else to watch their child. They’ll come up and say, ‘My kid’s missing, he was right here in the water just a minute ago.’ And we’ll find them a mile and a half down the beach.”

Current Captain Taylor (“Wild Card”) Anderson had a memorable PSC with an inconsolable, unhelpful mother slapping the ocean, sure her child had drowned, something many parents immediately assume has happened. A crowd gathered around Anderson and the distraught woman. Then another lifeguard broke through, handing the found child to the mother. “The whole crowd around us started clapping. I didn’t know what else to do,” says Anderson, “so I just started flexing my biceps. It was a fun ending to what was

Captain Taylor Anderson says many parents often fear the worst when a child goes missing, when sometimes they’ve just wandered down the beach.

April 24-30, 2012 | folio weekly | 19

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Walter Coker

Jelisse Marrero says gender stereotyping is the dark side of the Corps’ vaunted tradition. “It wasn’t because they didn’t like females, it was more like, ’You can’t do this, you’re a girl.’ ” says Marrero, who retired in 2009. “I got that pretty much my whole career in the Corps.”

becoming a very big scene.”

Occasionally, lifeguards need help, too.

“One time we were closing down, and these guys were drunk and trying to climb my tower to get me. It was such a nightmare,” says Marrero. “I was beating them down with my umbrella until the lifeguard truck came and the boyz grabbed me.”

Who’s Your Surfman?

While surfmen will always come to one another’s aid, the exclusivity of the group has been a defining characteristic — and sometimes a sore point. Women weren’t

“I look into the water and see the dad’s hands in the kid’s armpits, holding him up as he bounces off the bottom,” says Capt. Taylor Anderson.

“That last ditch selfdedication of the father really stuck with me.” permitted into the Corps for most of its existence; in the ’40s, a separate group of female lifeguards started their own beach rescue unit. In later years, the public began questioning the all-male policy, but it wasn’t until 1998 that the Corps scraped together $300,000 for a female dorm and the age of girl boyz began. Sort of.

“It wasn’t because they didn’t like females, it was more like, ‘You can’t do this, you’re a girl,’ ” says Marrero, who retired in 2009. “I got that pretty much my whole career in the Corps.”

For Marrero, such attitudes were the dark side of the Corps’ vaunted respect for customs.

“There was constantly a fight for power,” she says. “Not that they thought I wasn’t competent, it was just tradition. It was very annoying for me. I was constantly fighting that, especially with the older members. I made it my mission to prove them all wrong.”

She did, becoming an instructor and helping revamp the training program. When Marrero returned in 2011, she says, “It seemed like there was an explosion of female lifeguards, which is great. … The new female guards didn’t see any of what I had. And they were just like me, tough as nails.”

Eyes on the Horizon

Saving a life is pretty heady stuff. Capt.

Anderson had a memorable save in 2007 at the pier. (Insider tip: Don’t swim next to the pier, people; it’s where runouts live). He went in to save a boy and his father, and when he got to the boy, he didn’t see the father.

“I look into the water and see the dad’s hands in the kid’s armpits, holding him up as he bounces off the bottom. I pulled them both onto the buoy and they ended up being OK,” says Anderson. “That last-ditch self-dedication of the father really stuck with me. I guess you could say I saved two lives. It’s what I’m expected to do. It’s a cool feeling, but you go on your case, resolve it and then just climb back up on your tower.”

Anderson says the Corps’ challenge is finding a way to hold on to tradition even as it adapts to changing times. “For the next 100 years, we can’t let volunteerism get lost in the mix. Our challenge is to reinvent ourselves.

How can we improve life guarding? How can we push ourselves back to the forefront?”

As part of that effort, they’re ramping up their public outreach and teaching people in lower-income communities how to swim. The Corps is involved with Lifeguards Without Borders, an organization co-founded by former surfman and Jacksonville physician Andrew Schmidt. “We go to Latin America and instill our volunteerism and help train lifeguards,” says Anderson, noting that 97 percent of drownings occur in Third World countries. “Lifeguards Without Borders is a fledgling program, and guys from Jacksonville Beach are the core.”

Throughout its 100 years, the Corps’ mission has remained simple: Save people from drowning. And while some swimmers do some very stupid things, Marrero — who’s saved several lives as a surfman — insists you never blame them. “They’re coming into an environment they don’t know,” she says. “You just can’t have a judgmental attitude, because you never know when it might be you.”

Richard Wall themail@folioweekly.com April 24-30, 2012 | folio weekly | 21

22 | FOLIO WEEKLY | APRIL 24-30, 2012

Whether he’s performing one of his much-loved originals or collaborating with his personal music heroes like Burt Bacharach, Roy Orbison or Sir Paul McCartney, Elvis Costello always leaves his own signature mark. Starting out in the fertile UK ’70s punk and new wave scenes, Elvis Costello & The Attractions won fans and critics alike with songs like 1977’s “Watching the Detectives,” “Radio Radio” (’78) and “Oliver’s Army” (’79). The now-57year-old Costello (born Declan Patrick MacManus) has released more than 30 albums, scored a Grammy, been inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and appeared in more than a dozen TV shows and films. Elvis Costello & The Imposters play on Fri., April 27 at 8 p.m. at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $33.50-$53.50. 355-2787.

REGGAE STEEL PULSE

Since 1975, reggae kings Steel Pulse have been turning international audiences onto their heady sound that combines deep grooves with enlightened lyrics. Formed on the streets of Birmingham, England, the band originally performed with forward-thinking punks like The Stranglers and XTC, eventually joining the Rock Against Racism movement. In the decades since, the band has scored a Grammy, headlined the world’s biggest reggae festivals and even covered “Franklin’s Tower” by those honorary Rastafarians, The Grateful Dead! Steel Pulse appears with Innercoastal on Wed., April 25 at 8 p.m. at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Tickets are $25. 246-2473.

Deen Van Meer

MUSIC ELVIS COSTELLO

Reasons to leave the house this week

THEATER LES MIZ

Oh, the drama! Originally based on Victor Hugo’s classic novel of the same name, theatrical sensation “Les Misérables” is the second-longest-running musical in history; its story of the lives, loves and struggles of 19th-century France continues to strike a chord with theater lovers. The show has been produced in 38 countries, translated into 21 languages, racked up an array of awards and is celebrated for its state-of-the-art set design. “Les Misérables” is staged on Tue., May 1 at 7:30 p.m. at the T-U Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $27-$77. The show also runs May 2-6 with evening and matinee performances. See our story about “Les Miz” on page 39. 632-3373.

ROCK WELCOME TO ROCKVILLE

Northeast Florida music fans wanting to rock, look no further. This daylong event of fun, sun and loud-ass sounds by KORN, Shinedown, Five Finger Death Punch, Evanescence, HALESTORM, P.O.D. and others is held on Sun., April 29, starting at 11 a.m. at Metropolitan Park, 1410 Gator Bowl Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $44.50. 630-0837. welcometorockvillefestival.com

BOOKS TIM O’BRIEN

Pulitzer Prize and National Book Award finalist Tim O’Brien reads from his acclaimed Vietnam War novel, “The Things They Carried,” on Thur., April 26 at 3 p.m. at University of North Florida’s Student Union Ballroom, Bldg. 58 W., 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville, and at 7 p.m., with a book-signing to follow, at the Main Library’s Hicks Auditorium, 303 N. Laura St., downtown.

Based on his wartime experiences, O’Brien’s 1990 novel contains 22 interwoven chapters that are thoughtful and at times disturbing ruminations on war, love, loss, regret and even hope. O’Brien has published nine books and currently teaches creative writing at Texas State University-San Marcos. 620-1000, 630-2665.

COMEDY BILL COSBY

Lovers of old-school comedy can see a master of the form when Bill Cosby performs on Sun., April 29 at 2 p.m. at the T-U Center’s Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Since the early ’60s, Cosby has been offering clean, family-geared humor on a dozen best-selling records and books, as well as on award-winning TV shows like “Fat Albert & the Cosby Kids” and “The Cosby Show.” More recently, he’s earned a reputation for delivering his personal (and sometimes controversial) views on civil rights, education and selfimprovement. Tickets range from $34-$74. 632-3373.

FOLIO WEEKLY BEER & MUSIC FESTIVAL

Spring has sprung and the kegs are tapped, son! When it comes to the originators of the Northeast Florida beer bash, locals know to accept no watery substitutes. The 19th annual Folio Weekly Beer & Music Festival, held on Fri., April 27 from 7-10 p.m. at Morocco Shrine Auditorium, 3800 St. Johns Bluff Road S., Jacksonville, features a sampling of more than 200 beers along with fare from local eateries and live music from Split Tone. Advance general admission tickets are $20; $25 at the door.

Advance VIP tickets – which get you in at 6 p.m. – are $25; $30 at the door. Ages 21 and older only; I.D. required. 260-9770 ext. 110. folioweekly.com April 24-30, 2012 | folio weekly | 23

What a blast! Joseph Gilgun stars as the psycho convict Hydell in the latest space oater, “Lockout.”

Space Age Jailhouse Blues

Moviegoers will be begging to be paroled from this latest in derivative sci-fi silliness Lockout

*G@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

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24 | FOLIO WEEKLY | APRIL 24-30, 2012

f you want to kill some brain cells in a relatively efficient and painless manner, check out “Lockout,” the new science-fiction thriller from the indefatigable French producer/writer/ director Luc Besson. Be forewarned, however; the new film is only from “an original idea

by Luc Besson.” When he directs his own material, like “La Femme Nikita” or “Leon: the Professional,” Besson is usually on-target, or at least it’s interesting to watch him miss. When he farms out his ideas to other filmmakers, though, eight times out of 10 the result is noisy junk.

“Lockout,” unfortunately, is no exception.

Shamelessly ripping off a variety of earlier science-fiction films, ranging from “Demolition Man” to “Star Wars,” Besson’s newest cash cow is probably best viewed as an imagination-lite version of John Carpenter’s classic 1981 film, “Escape from New York.” Standing in for Kurt Russell’s Snake Plissken, we have Guy Pearce as Snow. In the original film, Snake had to rescue the president from Manhattan, a holding island for the country’s most dangerous criminals.

“Lockout” finds Snow taking the space shuttle to an orbiting penitentiary to rescue the president’s daughter, Emilie Warnock (Maggie Grace).

As if that basic plot didn’t provide room enough for firepower and mindless action, Besson’s novice writing/directing team of James Mather and Stephen St. Leger add all kinds of subplots, cramming the nonsense into a viewing time of only 95 minutes, shorter even than Carpenter’s more focused and vastly superior story. Remarkably, given the violent nature of the plot and its staggering body count, they manage to pull off a PG-13 rating, thereby assuring less-critically inclined male teens will eagerly fork over their parents’ bucks.

Tough-guy Snow, we find out in a tedious segment at the beginning, has been framed as a murderer and traitor. Despite being pummeled during interrogation, however, he refuses to divulge the whereabouts of some incriminating evidence. Beat him all they want, Snow will only give his captors a series of lame jokes and quips, even sneaking in the F-word once (that’s

all you get for PG-13).

Meanwhile, the president’s attractive daughter has managed to get herself and a squad of other civilians captured by a drooling bunch of killers, rapists and assorted riff-raff on an orbiting penal colony. There is a whole other subplot concerning the ethics of this installation, but who cares? Certainly not Snow, who sneaks into the place to rescue the aforementioned damsel-in-distress as well as find an old buddy who can prove Snow’s innocence back on Earth.

Complications of all sorts arise, of course, but nothing the screenwriters can’t handle with a steady stream of atrocious dialogue and timeworn clichés. And just wait until you see the finale where Luke Skywalker’s boys (actually, their clones) attack the Death Star (actually, the space prison) from which Snow and the chick have to make their escape. Like the old movie posters used to proclaim, you won’t believe your eyes! Let’s just say that in terms of improbability, this particular feat almost beats Christopher Reeve reversing the spin of the Earth in “Superman: the Movie.”

The two most interesting characters in “Lockout” are not the two stars, each of whom has definitely had better days in much better movies. Guy Pearce, in particular, is an excellent actor with an impressive range of roles to his credit, everything from “The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert” and “Ravenous” to “L.A. Confidential” and “The King’s Speech.” And many more. “Lockout,” unfortunately for him and us, has him stuck with a string of unwitty repartees in the vein of Stallone/Schwarzenegger once upon a time.

That’s about all he can muster in the present circumstances. Costar Maggie Grace also fared far better when she was being rescued by Liam Neeson in the thriller “Taken.”

The most outrageous roles in “Lockout” belong to two of the bad guys, a pair of homicidal brothers named Alex and Hydell, played (respectively) by Vincent Regan and Joseph Gilqun. Comic book villains, both would be right at home in Arkham Asylum squared off against Batman.

Come to think of it, the Dark Knight is probably yet another of the conscious rip-offs perpetrated in “Lockout.”

Pat McLeod themail@folioweekly.com

Triple Dips: Moe (Chris Diamantopoulos), Larry (Sean Hayes) and Curly (Will Sasso) are “The Three Stooges.”

Comfortably Dumb

The Farrelly Brothers tackle the classic moronic trio with uneven results The Three Stooges **@@

Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

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ou get what you might expect in a featurelength version of “The Three Stooges” — considerable amounts of silly, brainless slapstick (sometimes embarrassingly funny) as well as some stultifying dead space in between. A pet project of the Farrelly Brothers for years, the new film attracted numerous top-tier actors at various stages of its gestation, including Sean Penn and Jim Carrey, before settling on three unknowns to play the idiots of the title.

That proved to be a good decision. Sean Hayes, Will Sasso and Chris Diamantopoulos (as Larry, Curly and Moe respectively) are the best thing in the movie. More recognizable faces would have drawn attention to the actors rather than the familiar characters they were playing. However, even the original Three Stooges were funniest in their 15 to 20 minute “short subject films,” the best of which were made in the late ’30s and early ’40s and won over more generations of viewers in later television re-runs. The feature films the Stooges made in the late ’50s and early ’60s, like “Have Rocket, Will Travel” (1959) and “Snow White and the Three Stooges” (1961), were pretty dreadful.

Recalling those earlier and better episodes, the new “Three Stooges” tells one 90-minute story divided into three separate episodes, each of which opens with the familiar music, logo, and title like the originals. In a nutshell, the familiar scenario finds the three nitwits trying to play good Samaritans and trailing chaos in their wake.

The first sequence, probably the best overall, takes place at the Sisters of Mercy Orphanage where the Stooges, as babies, are thrown on the doorstep from a speeding car.

Raised over the next 25 years by tolerant Mother Superior (Jane Lynch), Sisters Rosemary and Bernice (Jennifer Hudson and Sports Illustrated cover model Kate Upton), and the irascible Sister Mary-Mengele (Larry David), the un-adopted boys reach their manhood, nearly destroying the orphanage in the process. But when their beloved home is threatened with foreclosure by the diocese

in the person of Monsignor Ratliffe (Brian Doyle-Murray, brother of Bill), they set off for the big city to raise the necessary money.

In the second episode, the boys run afoul of scheming would-be murderess Lydia (Sofia Vergara and her heavily accented cleavage) and her luckless boyfriend, who employ the clueless boobs (the Stooges, not Ms. Vergara’s mammaries) to bump off her husband. The highlight of this segment finds the Stooges in a hospital, dueling with urinating babies. (I know, I know, but it is “The Three Stooges.”)

The final segment includes a mildly successful poke at reality TV shows when Moe is recruited as a member of “Jersey Shore,” alongside the real-life stooges of that show, including Snooki, who play themselves convincingly. The real climax, however, seems headed to the grand sort of pie fight and general mayhem among the well-dressed elite (a confrontation often seen in the best of the old Stooges) when the script veers off, along with the boys, into a particularly disappointing finale. The sole redeeming feature of the film’s concluding moments is a glimpse of Sister Bernice (Upton) in her nun’s swimming attire, considerably more PG than the photos leaked over the Internet.

In the end, “The Three Stooges” is probably no better or no worse than you might expect.

The Farrellys open with some inspired moments, including a brief musical number by the orphans recalling “Annie” and “Oliver,” but the laughs grow more and more forced as the movie goes on. The main problem is neither the concept nor the cast, but rather the writing/directing siblings who are simply unable to maintain the opening pitch.

The movie concludes with a serious public service announcement by a very buff Bobby and Peter Farrelly, warning kids that the antics on-screen involve rubber hammers and fake eye-pokes, both of which they then demonstrate. One mother in the audience with me yelled out a hearty “Thank You!” at that point. Probably mandated in order to retain the film’s PG rating, the sequence itself is worth a chuckle if you realize that the two muscular hunks, one of whom flexes his pecs like The Rock, are not really the Farrellys.

That’s about as subtle as “The Three Stooges” gets.

Pat McLeod themail@folioweekly.com April 24-30, 2012 | folio weekly | 25

FILM RATINGS **** YOUNG MISS ***@ OL’ MISS **@@ HIT AND A MISS *@@@ SWISS MISS

NOW SHOWING AMERICAN REUNION *G@@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

This needless and, one hopes, final chapter of the raunchy teen comedy franchise features the return of regulars Jason Biggs, Seann William Scott, Alyson Hannigan and Eugene Levy. Years after graduating from high school, the whole crew comes back for a reunion that features the expected bits on boobs, masturbation, booze and other philosophical quandaries.

BULLY ***@ Rated PG-13 • Cinemark Tinseltown This acclaimed documentary, from Sundance and Emmywinning filmmaker Lee Hirsch, follows the lives of five students who face peer-to-peer bullying on a daily basis in Georgia, Iowa and Texas. The film also focuses on Tyler Long and Ty Smalley, two victims of bullying who ultimately took their own lives.

THE CABIN IN THE WOODS ***@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

The innovative horror film from director-writer Drew Goddard (“Cloverfield”) and co-writer Joss Whedon (“Firefly,” “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”) uses the clichéd premise of teens on a weekend getaway in the woods to virtually reinvent the genre. While much of the excitement about “Cabin” is based on audiences not giving away any spoilers, an able cast and excellent script keep it from being gimmicky. “Cabin” is an original and much-needed shot in the arm to the teen horror film industry.

CHIMPANZEE ***@ Rated G • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

Filmed over the course of three years, this family-geared documentary from co-producers Disneynature and The Jane Goodall Institute features narration by Tim Allen (!) as it follows a group of chimpanzees living in the tropical forests of Africa’s Ivory Coast and Uganda.

DR. SEUSS’ THE LORAX **G@ Rated PG • Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

The adaptation of Theodor Geisel’s work features the voices of Zac Efron, Taylor Swift, Ed Helms and Danny DeVito. In Thneedville, everything’s made of plastic; teenager Audrey (Swift) wants to see a real tree. When smitten 12-year-old Ted (Efron) accepts the challenge, he meets The Once-ler (Helms) who tells the story of The Lorax (DeVito) and the fate of the trees. While the movie benefits from deft animation and good performances, its heavy-handed environmental tone is more like a distraction, especially for younger viewers.

THE HUNGER GAMES ***G Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd., San Marco Theatre Writer-director Gary Ross’ big-screen adaptation of Susan Collins’ popular book series is a tour de force of contemporary sci-fi cinema. In a dystopian future, the country of Panem (formerly North America) holds a tournament where two chosen adolescents must fight to the death. Initially antagonists, contestants Katniss Evergreen (the superb Jennifer Lawrence) and Peeta Mellark (Josh Hutcherson) soon wonder if they want to be pawns in this brutal game. An original, engaging story (author Collins worked on the film’s script) and worthy performances by the costars including Woody Harrelson, Elizabeth Banks and Stanley Tucci makes “The Hunger Games” a must-see.

26 | folio weekly | April 24-30, 2012

JOURNEY 2: THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND **@@ Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Regal Avenues Josh Hutcherson, Dwayne Johnson, Luiz Guzman and Michael Caine star in this family-geared film about a teenager’s adventure on a remote island in the South Pacific.

KID WITH A BIKE ***@ Not Rated • Regal Beach Blvd.

This Belgian import tells the story of a young boy, abandoned by his father, who is torn between his loyalties to Samantha, a protective older woman, and the darker influence of a gang leader known as “The Dealer.”

LOCKOUT *G@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

Reviewed in this issue.

THE LUCKY ONE **@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

This romantic drama stars Zac Efron as U.S. Marine Sgt. Logan Thibault, who returns home after his third tour of duty in Iraq to try to track down a mysterious North Carolina woman (Taylor Schilling) whose photograph — which he believes was his good luck charm — has been his prized possession during the war. Co-starring Blythe Danner.

MIRROR MIRROR *@@@ Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

Lily Collins stars as Snow White and Julia Roberts is the Evil Queen in director Tarsem Singh’s lackluster retelling of the classic fairy tale. While the film is visually impressive, a dull script and questionable direction keeps “Mirror, Mirror” from achieving any real movie magic. Armie Hammer and Nathan Lane also star.

THE RAID: REDEMPTION **@@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

This Indonesian martial arts film stars Iko Uwais as Rama, a rookie SWAT team member who leads the charge on a derelict apartment building in downtown Jakarta, an impenetrable fortress of the city’s worst murderers, drug kingpins and gangsters.

SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN **** Rated PG-13 • AMC Regency Square, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Regal Beach Blvd.

Ewan MacGregor and Emily Blunt star in this entertaining offering from director Lasse Hallström (“The Cider House Rules”) that concerns the efforts of an Arab multimillionaire, Sheikh Muhammed (Amr Waked) and his employees Harriet Chetwode-Talbot (Blunt) and Dr. Alfred Jones (MacGregor) and their attempts at creating a fishery in the middle of the desert. Adapted from Paul Torday’s novel of the same name

by Simon Beaufoy (who won an Oscar for his writing of “Slumdog Millionaire”), “Salmon Fishing in the Yemen” is a welcome and quirky addition to the recent indie cinematic offerings sure to hook audiences.

THINK LIKE A MAN **@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

Based on the best-selling romance guide by comedian Steve Harvey, this rom-com stars Michael Ealy, Jerry Ferrara, Terrence J and Romany Malco, as young men who contend with a little love trouble when they find out their respective partners (Meagan Good, Regina Hall, Gabrielle Union and Wendy Williams) are following Harvey’s suspect advice on relationships.

THE THREE STOOGES **@@ Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

Reviewed in this issue.

“You’re out!” Marty (Fran Kranz) survives nine innings of Redneck Zombie Baseball in the inventive horror flick, “The Cabin in the Woods.”

TITANIC 3D ***@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

With this spring season re-issue, movie lovers (and Leo lovers!) may now witness James Cameron’s 1997 re-telling of the sinking of the unsinkable Titanic — which wracked up 11 Oscar wins and made Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet megastars — in 3-D. 21 JUMP STREET *G@@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd., Sun-Ray Cinema Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum star in this big-screen adaptation of the ’80s TV show that suffers from a serious case of arrested development. When rookie cops Jenko (Tatum) and Schmidt (Hill) go deep undercover into a high school to break up a drug ring, we discover the worst dope is the brain-rotting garbage being pushed onscreen as a cop-buddy picture.

WOMAN THOU ART LOOSED: ON THE 7TH DAY **@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square Based on the writings of self-help guru Bishop T.D. Jakes, this drama stars Blair Underwood, Sharon Leal and Nicole Beharie as the Ames family and the horrifying week they spend after their daughter is kidnapped.

WRATH OF THE TITANS **G@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

A decade after destroying the Kraken, warrior Perseus (Sam Worthington) has retired, living a simple life as a fisherman and single father. But when the gods (Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, Bill Nighy, Rosamund Pike) are threatened by an attack from the monstrous Titans, Perseus must procure a magical spear and save the day. Director Jonathan Liebsman’s (“Battle Los Angeles”) take on Greek mythology is heavy on special effects but light on story, making “Wrath” an unoriginal fantasy film experience.

OTHER FILMS MOVIES IN THE PARK JaxParks presents “Grease” at dusk on April 27, at Wyndham Riverwalk’s riverfront lawn, 1515 Prudential Drive, Jacksonville. Bring blankets, lawn chairs and picnic baskets.

634-0303. downtownjacksonville.org LATITUDE 30 CINEGRILLE “Act Of Valor” is currently running at Latitude 30’s new movie theater CineGrille, 10370 Philips Highway, Southside. Call for showtimes. 365-5555.

SUN-RAY CINEMA “21 Jump Street,” “Jeff Who Lives at Home” and “Jiro Dreams of Sushi” are currently running at Sun-Ray

AREA THEATERS AMELIA ISLAND Carmike Amelia Island 7, 1132 S. 14th St., 261-9867 ARLINGTON & REGENCY AMC Regency 24, 9451 Regency Square Blvd., 264-3888 BAYMEADOWS & MANDARIN Regal Avenues 20, 9525 Philips Highway, 538-3889 BEACHES Regal Beach Blvd. 18, 14051 Beach Blvd., 992-4398 FIVE POINTS Sun-Ray Cinema@5Points, 1028 Park St., 359-0047 NORTHSIDE Hollywood River City 14, River City Marketplace, 12884 City Center Blvd., 757-9880

ORANGE PARK AMC Orange Park 24, 1910 Wells Road, (888) AMC-4FUN Carmike Fleming Island 12, 1820 Town Center Blvd., 621-0221 SAN MARCO San Marco Theatre, 1996 San Marco Blvd., 396-4845 SOUTHSIDE Cinemark Tinseltown, 4535 Southside Blvd., 998-2122 ST. AUGUSTINE Epic Theatres, 112 Theatre Drive, 797-5757 IMAX Theater, World Golf Village, 940-IMAX Pot Belly’s, 36 Granada St., 829-3101

Cinema@5 Points, 1028 Park St., Jacksonville. Call 359-0047 for showtimes. sunraycinema.com FREE WEEKEND NATURE MOVIES “Where the Whales Sing” screens at 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. on April 28 and 29 at GTM Research Reserve Environmental Education Center, 505 Guana River Road, Ponte Vedra.

823-4500.

POT BELLY’S CINEMA “Albert Nobbs,” “The Artist,” “Friends with Kids,” “The Iron Lady” and “This Means War” are shown at Pot Belly’s, 36 Granada St., St. Augustine. 829-3101.

WGHOF IMAX THEATER “To The Arctic 3D” is screened along with “Lewis & Clark: Great Journey West,” “Forces of Nature,” “Legends of Flight 3D,” “Rescue 3D,” “The Wildest Dream: Conquest of Everest,” “Born To Be Wild 3D” and “Hubble 3D” at World Golf Hall of Fame Village, 1 World Golf Place, St. Augustine. 940-IMAX. worldgolfimax.com

NEW ON DVD & BLU-RAY UNDERWORLD: AWAKENING In this latest chapter in the popular “fangbanger” series, badass vampire warrior Selene (Kate Beckinsale) awakens after a decade of being held captive by those pesky humans. She discovers that most of her vampires have been destroyed and she must battle a genetically engineered Lycan (that’s “werewolf” to us simple, alt-weekly-readin’ folk!). Stephen Rea, Michael Ealy and Theo James also star in this biting action flick.

KRUSH GROOVE The 1985 film is low on plot excitement (or, for that matter, modesty, since producer and Def Jam Records CEO Russell Simmons also helped pen the script) as it follows the adventures of Russell Walker (Blair Underwood, in his film debut) and his up-and-coming label, Krush Groove. The real benefit in checking out this recently reissued flick is the vintage performances of then-newbie rap acts like Kurtis Blow, Sheila E., Run DMC, The Fat Boys and New Edition.

BORN TO BE WILD Narrated by Morgan Freeman, the heartwarming critical fave explores the relationships that develop between a group of orphaned orangutans and elephants and the people who rescue and raise them. Filmed on location in exotic spots like Borneo and Kenya’s rugged savannah, director David Lickley’s engaging documentary also features interviews with primatologist Dr. Birut Mary Galdikas and elephant authority Dr. Dame Daphne M. Sheldrick.

THE BOY MIR Filmed over the course of a decade, the engaging 2011 documentary, festival favorite and sequel to ’03’s “The Boy who Plays on the Buddhas of Bamiyan,” from writer-director Phil Grabsky, chronicles the story of an enthusiastic eightyear-old boy named Mir, as he matures into adulthood in one of the toughest areas of Afghanistan.

Ape Expectations: Filmed over the course of three years in Africa’s Ivory Coast and Uganda, the documentary “Chimpanzee” follows a group of these intriguing creatures scientists consider to be the closest living relatives to human beings.

APRIL 24-30, 2012 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 27

28 | folio weekly | April 24-30, 2012

April 24-30, 2012 | folio weekly | 29

THE BEACH BOYS Wednesday, May 2 at 7 p.m.

St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., St. Augustine Tickets range from $49.50-$99.50 209-0367

A

lthough I’ve listened to The Beach Boys’ entire recorded output, “Kokomo” is still the first thing that comes to mind when I think of “America’s Band.” Watching the video for this cheeseball 1988 mega-hit triggers intense embarrassment today, clips of a strutting “Cocktail”-era Tom Cruise juxtaposed with the middle-aged Beach Boys sporting tight white pants and bedazzled turquoise-and-pink shirts. “Kokomo” was a No. 1 hit, though — one of four for The Beach Boys. They also charted 36 U.S. Top 40 singles — the most by an American rock band — and 56 Hot 100 entries, along with selling 100 million albums worldwide.

Still, it’s hard to believe that, for a short time, The Beach Boys rivaled The Beatles in creative output, critical acclaim and transcontinental appeal. Much like their English counterparts, the California quintet started out as a wholesome boy band, three brothers, a cousin, and a high-school friend jamming under the watchful eye of the siblings’ authoritative father, Murry Wilson.

Everyone rocked matching coiffed haircuts, © 2012 pressed khaki pants and plaid Pendleton shirts. And though the early hits — “Surfin’,” “Surfin’ Safari,” “409” — were about surfing, girls and hot rods, they were also surprisingly well-crafted pop gems.

Brian Wilson handled production and split songwriting duties with Mike Love. The band’s authentic surfing roots came from wild child Dennis Wilson, while unassuming youngest brother Carl played the smiling straight man. Former football player Al Jardine was the requisite All-American hunk, and little David Marks, only 13 when he replaced Jardine in 1962 and 14 when

FolioWeekly

Fun, fun, fun: Sixties pop kings The Beach Boys celebrate a half-century of music.

U.S. shores in ’64. So the volleys came hot and fast from The Beach Boys, “Don’t Worry, Baby” and “We’ll Run Away” revolutionizing the rock ballad, “California Girls” and “I Get Around” epitomizing idyllic teenage life, and “Fun, Fun, Fun” and “Little Deuce Coupe” layering that existence with rich adult insight.

Then came 1966’s “Pet Sounds,” Brian Wilson’s direct response to The Beatles’ “Rubber Soul.” Full of majestic orchestral arrangements, introspective songwriting and psychedelic sound flourishes, “Pet Sounds” damn near lived up to Wilson’s goal of writing the greatest rock album of all time; Lennon and McCartney cited it as direct inspiration for “Sgt. Pepper’s.” But “Pet Sounds” also

A direct response to The Beatles’ “Rubber Soul,” “Pet Sounds” was full of majestic orchestral arrangements, introspective songwriting and psychedelic sound flourishes. It damn near lived up to Wilson’s goal of writing the greatest rock album of all time.

30 | folio weekly | April 24-30, 2012

Jardine came back the following year, added gritty rock ‘n’ roll bite with his electric guitar attack. And all of them could harmonize like no other.

Those elements came together perfectly on 1963’s “Surfin’ U.S.A.,” which really took The Beach Boys phenomenon nationwide.

But under pressure to maintain the band’s newfound success, Brian Wilson began exhibiting erratic behavior and passing up live performances. He excelled in the studio, though, setting The Beach Boys on an unmatched recording tear; from 1963-’65, The Beach Boys released nine of American rock’s most iconic albums.

The frenetic output was meant to keep track with The Beatles, who had invaded

alienated Wilson’s bandmates, who returned from a Japanese tour to find the album nearly finished in their absence. Wilson and Love had the first of many public falling outs, the latter famously telling the former, “Don’t f*ck with the formula.”

“Pet Sounds” was followed up by standalone No. 1 single “Good Vibrations,” widely cited as the best — and most expensive when it was recorded — rock song ever. But internal tensions were spiraling out of control.

David Marks quit The Beach Boys in 1963, and Murry Wilson was fired in 1964, selling the band’s publishing catalog for a cut-rate $700,000. Brian Wilson’s mental health faltered further, forcing him to forgo all live performances; the band brought in Bruce

Johnston as a quasi-replacement. And “Pet Sounds’” even more drug-addled follow-up 1967’s “Smile,” was scrapped, sending Wilson into schizophrenic semi-retirement.

Further fractures and failures followed into the early ’70s, before a strange thing happened in 1974: Greatest-hits compilations “Endless Summer” and “Spirit of America” provided the Watergate-afflicted country a nostalgic pick-me-up. A briefly “healed” Brian Wilson even returned to the fold in 1976. But the reunited flame flickered out even quicker this time around, all three Wilson brothers devolving into serious substance abuse, with Dennis dying in 1983.

So “Kokomo” is actually the sunny outlier in The Beach Boys’ otherwise-dark late period. Like many things in the ’80s, it didn’t last — 1992’s “Summer of Paradise” was a massive flop, Carl Wilson succumbed to lung cancer in 1998, and Brian Wilson and Mike Love endured several litigious lawsuits. All of which makes this upcoming 50th anniversary lineup — Wilson, Love, Jardine, Johnston and Marks — extra monumental.

There are even rumors that PBS might film their St. Augustine performance for a televised special.

The newly reunited band’s debut Grammy Awards performance was unbearably awkward, as was Love making sense of Wilson’s unending eccentricities during the pre-show interview. And Johnston, forever the outcast to those who saw him as Wilson’s replacement, actually hit the nail on the head in a February interview with the Los Angeles Times: “I never hoped for [a reunion], because I never thought any of us wanted to do it… We have to make sure we have a great flowing song list but also [that] we don’t sound like a greatest-hits band. We have a lot to balance.” Nothing describes The Beach Boys’ tumultuous 50-year history better.

Nick McGregor themail@folioweekly.com

Baron of Swearin’! The troubadour of trashy tunes, Mark Sultan.

Royal Raunch

Regardless of his many names, Mark Sultan is the garage rock king MARK SULTAN with GOLDEN PELICANS, WOOLLY BUSHMEN, THE MOLD and DJ LA MARS Wednesday, April 25 at 9 p.m.

Café Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach Tickets are $19 460-9311

H

e may not be a household name in the United States, but in his native Canada, Mark Sultan is a garage-rock god with a honey-drenched voice of gold. He’s championed violent spazz-punk with Powersquat and The Spaceshits. He’s laid into raunchy R&B with Les Sexareenos. He’s done phenomenal riffs on psych rock with King Khan & BBQ Show, and picked on early country, with The Ding-Dongs. And he’s knocked gospel and doo-wop out of the park with Almighty Defenders, a one-off collaboration with Khan and Atlanta flower-punks The Black Lips.

But Sultan has also mastered the art of the one-man band, performing and recording for years under pseudonyms like BBQ, Von Needles, Celeb Prenup and Blortz. Now, however, he’s back on his own Mark Sultan wavelength, releasing two simultaneous albums last year with another live set, “The War On Rock ‘n’ Roll,” coming out just last week for Record Store Day. Folio Weekly caught up with Sultan to talk about his insanely prolific output, rock ‘n’ roll’s sexual premise and the ongoing importance of spontaneity.

Folio Weekly: Growing up in Montreal, what first turned you on to music?

Mark Sultan: I grew up on the outskirts of Montreal — I hate to say the word “suburbs” because that insinuates that we were affluent — and my dad gave me The Beatles’ “Abbey Road” when I was five. Then I started saving money whenever I could to buy my own records, getting into all sorts of early rock from the ’50s and ’60s, which quickly turned into heavy metal, then punk and hardcore.

F.W.: Your early bands Powersquat and The Spaceshits were famous for crazy onstage antics, right?

M.S.: Yeah, we got notorious as the shows became really violent and f*cked up — all our friends were on psychedelics and there were fireworks and things breaking. It was chaotic.

F.W.: But those bands have received fresh attention in recent years, along with Les Sexareenos, which played a few reunion shows last fall. Why do you think that is?

M.S.: Sexareenos was just simple, straightforward rock music, and at the time we were playing it, people didn’t care. But now

that stuff ’s popular again. It’s the usual case of anything I’m involved with being unknown until years down the line.

F.W.: It’s not like you’re resting on your laurels, though — your discography is staggering. Does your own creativity ever turn off ?

M.S.: Making music is something I have to do.

I’m always nervously humming or snapping or making drumbeats. And melodies and harmonies especially are things I need to let loose, like butterflies. Even if I never record them or release them, I always have to get rid of these things clogging me up.

F.W.: Which explains your preponderance of side projects and aliases. Tell us the nowinfamous Almighty Defenders story.

M.S.: Without embellishing it, Black Lips had just gotten booted out of India, and Khan and I were already hanging out, so we all started drinking and coming up with a few songs. The whole thing — from idea to writing to recording — took like three days, and it’s a nice little portrait of a time and place. But I never expected anyone to pick up on it. And to be honest, the amount of hype it got was a bit ridiculous, considering it was just some friends getting together, playing songs and having fun.

F.W.: Maybe that’s always been the draw with your music. What is it about old American forms like rock, gospel, doo-wop and jazz that continue to attract you?

M.S.: I don’t purposefully play what’s considered old, nostalgic or retro — my sense of music and harmony is just old school. I don’t know if I’m from another time or place in my heart, but that’s the stuff that comes out of me. And I have a reverence for that sound. It’s a pure, sexual, magic sound that transcends anything pre-fab or too thought out.

F.W.: You certainly didn’t overthink your new album, “The War on Rock ‘n’ Roll.” Explain how that live set came about.

M.S.: Last year, I was in Brazil with a friend of mine, and yeah, I did one take live, a total stream-of-consciousness, on-the-fly thing that I had never tried before. I think that’s important — rock ‘n’ roll should always be spontaneous.

Maybe I took it too far with this, but it’s [supposed to be] a visceral, immediate thing.

Rock ‘n’ roll’s actual meaning is “f*cking,” and it’s always been about c--ks and c--ts and dancing and drinking and partying. And I don’t think about things like money or prestige or status when I’m playing it.

Nick McGregor themail@folioweekly.com April 24-30, 2012 | folio weekly | 31

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Game of Thrones: Will Frazier, Aaron Abraham and Joe Largen are local punk kings Whole Wheat Bread.

Against the Grain

Whole Wheat Bread survives novelty, lineup changes and even gunshots to celebrate 10 years of killer punk rock WHOLE WHEAT BREAD 10th Anniversary Show with DP and A GENTLEMEN ARMY Friday, April 27 at 8 p.m.

Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville Advance tickets are $10; $13 at the door 398-7496

W

32 | folio weekly | April 24-30, 2012

hile the punk rock scene prides itself on egalitarianism, it apparently isn’t always color-blind. “I’m not trying to make it into a race thing, but the biggest thing people know about us is that we’re an all-black punk band,” says Aaron Abraham, guitarist, lead vocalist and principle songwriter for Whole Wheat Bread, a locally born three-piece punk outfit.

“I’ve been black my whole life, but it wasn’t until I joined a punk band that people started pointing out that I was black.”

Punk as a music genre developed in the mid-1970s in the U.S., UK and Australia, led by innovators like the Ramones, Sex Pistols and The Clash — white musicians.

The ’80s hardcore punk scene was a little more ethnically blended, with bands like The Dead Kennedys, The Circle Jerks, Scream and Fishbone featuring members who weren’t entirely of the expected Caucasian persuasion.

And reggae-and-rock Rasta heads Bad Brains, a fierce four-piece from Washington, D.C., composed entirely of African-American musicians, was one of the greatest thrash bands of the Reagan era. Yet today, mainstream punk is associated with bands that offer little racial diversity, like Green Day, The Offspring, Bad Religion and NOFX. “People call us Black 182, after Blink 182, and Good Chocolate, after Good Charlotte,” Abraham explains of Whole Wheat Bread’s apparent novelty of being an all-AfricanAmerican punk band.

It’s obvious Whole Wheat Bread is more than just a novelty act — the trio celebrates its 10th anniversary as a band with a show on Friday, April 27 at Jack Rabbits, featuring DP and A Gentlemen Army. Abraham, the only original member, is joined by Willie “Will” Frazier on bass and Joseph “Joe” Largen on drums, with both players in the rhythm section providing back-up vocals.

Over the past decade, Whole Wheat Bread has seen a lot of lineup changes. The band’s also found a lot of success on the national and international spectrum, having collaborated with heavy hitters like Ice Cube, Lil Jon, Rob Base, Suicide Machines and Street Dogs.

The trio is also a part of Invincible(s), a

group featuring WWB joined by Los Angelesbased rapper Murs as lead vocalist. The quartet recently recorded a self-titled album, “Invincible(s),” slated for release this year. “[Murs] wanted to do an album with a band,” says Abraham of forming Invincible(s) after a joint 2008 appearance at Coachella. Though Murs won’t be at the upcoming Jack Rabbits anniversary show, WWB have been playing gigs with the multi-faceted rapper around the country since that ’08 festival gig in California.

If you know Whole Wheat Bread, you know they’re all Jacksonville. Abraham was born in Trinidad but moved to the River City at a young age and attended Englewood High School. Frazier is a Jacksonville native who went to Douglas Anderson School of the Arts, and Largen was born in Kentucky and attended Mandarin High School.

Since the band’s debut show in March 2002 at Thee Imperial (now The Phoenix Taproom) opening for Cue Estey, a now-defunct hiphop/soul outfit, Whole Wheat Bread has experienced a lot of ups and downs. The musicians lost their last bass player to prison time and, in 2010, Abraham was shot twice at pointblank range.

“I was shot once in the foot and once in the thigh,” remembers Abraham. “I spent a week at Shands [Jacksonville Medical Center]. I couldn’t walk for four months and went on tour with crutches — that speaks to my dedication for this band.”

He’s thankful to be back in good health — running and skating — but the band has earned some not-so-welcome nicknames. “In Jacksonville, we’re just Whole Wheat Bread,” he says. “In other parts of the country we’re ‘the G-Unit of punk rock.’”

On their Facebook page, the group writes, “We have more street credibility than most so call gangsta rappers have. Yet, we do not drench our music with words or ignorance.

We use it to inspire hope amongst those who walked similar paths. Let our music be our only judgment — not what you hear about our lives or past.”

Abraham says 2012 hasn’t been as busy with gigs — so far — as previous years, but the group plans to write, record and release its fourth album. The local artists also hope to squash preconceived notions. “We want people to like us because they hear our music and like what they hear.”

Kara Pound themail@folioweekly.com

FreebirdLive.com 200 N. 1st St., Jax Beach, FL • 904.246.BIRD (2473)

• CONCERTS THIS WEEK • POLYGONS, VULTRESS, MITCH KUHMAN BAND Local prog-rockers Polygons play at 8 p.m. on April 24 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Tickets are $8.

398-7496.

STEEL PULSE, INNERCOASTAL Reggae greats Steel Pulse appear at 8 p.m. on April 25 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Tickets are $25.

246-2473.

MALCOLM HOLCOMBE Americana artist Holcombe plays at 8 p.m. on April 25 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Tickets are $8.

398-7496.

MARK SULTAN, GOLDEN PELICANS, THE WOOLLY BUSHMEN, DJ LA MARS Garage rocker Mark Sultan performs at 8 p.m. on April 25 at CafĂŠ Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach.

Tickets are $10. 460-9311.

CONSIDER THE SOURCE, LUCKY COSTELLO, RAWMYST Funk heads Consider the Source are on at 8 p.m. on April 25 at 1904 Bar, 17 N. Ocean St., Jacksonville. 356-0213.

RODNEY ATKINS Country artist Atkins plays at 6 p.m. on April 26 at Mavericks, 2 Independent Drive, Jacksonville. Tickets are $25; $35 for upstairs. 356-1110.

BRAXTON ADAMSON This local musician appears at 6 p.m. on April 26 at Pusser’s Caribbean Grille Restaurant, 816 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach. 280-0038.

THE 418 BAND This reggae group plays at 6 p.m. on April 26 at Nippers Beach Grille, 2309 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach.

247-3300.

TIM BARRY, BILLY + JOE, BEAU CRUM, JOEL WILTGEN Avail frontman Barry plays at 8 p.m. on April 26 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10.

398-7496.

JOHNNY OSBOURNE Rocker Osbourne hits the stage at 8 p.m. on April 26 at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $15. 223-9850.

HARPETH RISING The eclectic Americana quartet plays at 8 p.m. on April 26 at European Street CafĂŠ, 1704 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 399-1740.

CLAYTON BUSH The singer-songwriter plays at 8 p.m. on April 26 at Island Girl Cigar Bar, 108 First St., Neptune Beach. 372-0943.

GINORMOUS J Jam band faves Ginormous J fire one up at 9 p.m. on April 26 at Dog Star Tavern, 10 N. Second St., Fernandina Beach. 277-8010.

WHOLE WHEAT BREAD, DP, GENTLEMAN’S ARMY Punks Whole Wheat Bread perform at 8 p.m. on April 27 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 398-7496.

KEVIN SKI The singer-songwriter plays at 6 p.m. on April 27 at Nippers Beach Grille, 2309 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. 247-3300.

RISE TO AGAINST, A DAY TO REMEMBER, TITLE FIGHT Political punks Rise Against play at 6:30 p.m. on April 27 at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., St. Augustine. Tickets are $31.50 and $39.50. 209-0367.

SLEEPING GIANT, IN THE MIDST OF LIONS, GIDEON, REJOICE THE AWAKENING, CONVALESCE, ATLAS The faith-based rockers are on at 7 p.m. on April 27 at Murray Hill Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $12; $14 day of show. 388-3179.

SPLIT TONE at FOLIO WEEKLY’S BEER & MUSIC FEST Local funk favorite Split Tone performs from 7-10 p.m. on April 27 at Morocco Shrine Auditorium, 3800 St. Johns Bluff Road S., Jacksonville. Advance general admission tickets are $20; $25 at the door. Advance VIP tickets, which get you in at 6 p.m., are $25; $30 at the door. This event is for ages 21 and older. 260-9770 ext. 128.

RHYTHM & RIBS: JJ GREY & MOFRO, YANKEE SLICKERS, RED RIVER BAND and more This three-day festival of barbecue and live music, held at Francis Field, 25 W. Castillo, St. Augustine, features Matanzas at 5 p.m., Elizabeth & The Grapes of Roth at 6:45 p.m. and Mojo Roux at 8:30 p.m. on April 27; Swanky Mos’ are on at 11 a.m., The Mix at 12:30 p.m., Those Guys play at 2 p.m., Eager Beaver at 3:45 p.m., The Committee plays at 5:15 p.m., Yankee Slickers are on at 6:45 p.m. and JJ Grey & Mofro play at 8:30 p.m. on April 28; Local high school bands are featured at 11 a.m., Mid-Life Crisis plays at 12:45 p.m., Jender plays at 2:30 p.m. and Red River Band is on at 4:15 p.m. on April 29. Admission each day is $2; $5 after 3 p.m. on April 28. rhythmandribs.net JANA KRAMER The country darling appears at 8 p.m. on April 27 at Whisky River, 4850 Big Island Drive, Jacksonville. Admission is free.

645-5571.

PERMISSION BAND These local rockers play at 7:30 p.m. on April 27 at Culhane’s Irish Pub, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 249-9595.

ALEX SEIER Singer-songwriter Seier performs at 8 p.m. on April 27 at Pusser’s Caribbean Grille Restaurant, 816 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach. 280-0038.

ELVIS COSTELLO & THE IMPOSTERS Elvis Costello & The Imposters play at 8 p.m. on April 27 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $33.50-$53.50. 355-2787.

THE MOVEMENT, DANKA Reggae band The Movement plays at 8 p.m. on April 27 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Tickets are $12.

246-2473.

GARRETT ON ACOUSTIC, BLACK SUN RISING, GO AWAY GHOST These indie acts are on at 8 p.m. on April 27 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Jacksonville. 353-4686.

CUPID’S ALLEY These sweethearts will rock you at 9 p.m. on April 27 and 28 at Cliff’s Bar & Grill, 3033 Monument Road, Jacksonville.

645-5162.

THE BIG NATURALS These locals play authentic tunes at 9 p.m. on April 27 at Square One, 1974 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville. 306-9004.

BADMAN Jam band faves Badman perform at 9 p.m. on April 27 at Dog Star Tavern, 10 N. Second St., Fernandina Beach.

277-8010.

EVAN PALUSZYNSKI Singer-songwriter Paluszynski is on at 9:30 p.m. on April 27 at Island Girl Cigar Bar, 108 First St., Neptune Beach. 372-0943.

TOURN These local rockers play at 10 p.m. on April 27 and 28 at Your Place Bar & Grill, 13245 Atlantic Blvd., Jacksonville.

221-9994.

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET FSCJ DanceWORKS are on at 10:30 a.m., Harpeth Rising is on at 11:45 a.m. and LaVilla Chamber Orchestra plays at 2:45 p.m. on April 28 at the weekly market, held under the Fuller Warren Bridge at Riverside Avenue, downtown. 554-6865. riversideartsmarket.com ACOUSTIC SHADE, STREET LEGAL BAND Acoustic Shade performs at 2 p.m. and Street Legal Band plays at 6 p.m. at Nippers Beach Grille, 2309 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. 247-3300.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

The Best Live Music in St. Augustine!

“Join us for Blues, Rock & Funk�

April 26, 27 & 28

Domenic Band

,JOH 4USFFU t 4U "VHVTUJOF t

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

WEDNESDAY APRIL 25

STEEL PULSE Innercoastal FRIDAY APRIL 27

THE MOVEMENT DANKA SATURDAY APRIL 28

PUG UGLY

POOR RICHARDS Gross Evolution/Velgato Amongst the Forgotten WEDNESDAY MAY 2

MICKEY AVALON

ANDRE LEGACY THURSDAY MAY 3

RUSTED ROOT S.P.O.R.E. WEDNESDAY MAY 9

WHITECHAPEL

MISS MAY I Freebird After the Burial

Within the Ruins/The Plot in You THURSDAY MAY 10

Mon-

Men’s Night Out Beer Pong 7pm $1 Draft $5 Pitchers Free Pool ALL U CAN EAT CRABLEGS

Tues-

Texas Hold ’Em STARTS AT 7 P.M.

Wed-

Bar Bingo/Karaoke ALL U CAN EAT WINGS KIDS EAT FREE FROM 5 P.M. TO 9 P.M. HAPPY HOUR ALL NIGHT

Thurs- DJ BG w/Cornhole Tournament Bass Tournament 2 FOR 1 DOMESTIC DRAFTS, WELLS AND HOUSE WINE

Fri-

Susie Kite 9:30pm 1/2 PRICE APPS-FRI (BAR ONLY) 4-7PM DECK MUSIC 5-9 P.M.

BEACH HOUSE

WITH SPECIAL GUESTS FRIDAY MAY 18

ADRENALINE MOB

(members of Dream Theatre/Disturbed)

KILL DEVIL HILL

(members of Black Sabbath/Pantera) SUNDAY MAY 20

JULIAN MARLEY

TRIBAL SEEDS

Through the Roots FRIDAY MAY 25

HELLO DANGER SATURDAY MAY 26

ONE/Sons Not Beggars MONDAY JUNE 18

Sat-

Lisa & the Madhatters 9:30pm DECK MUSIC 5-9P.M.

BOUNCING SOULS

Sun-

Rezolution Reggae Band 4-8pm

SATURDAY JUNE 24

Mezingers/Luther

Sweetwater Brewery Presents

RAILROAD EARTH SUNDAY JULY 21

BADFISH

(The SUBLIME tribute Band) April 24-30, 2012 | folio weekly | 33

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

SUNJAMMER The local rockers play at 7 p.m. on April 28 at Dick’s Wings & Grill, 10391 Old St. Augustine Road, Jacksonville. 880-7087.

RAY AND MELISSA This acoustic duo appears at 7 p.m. on April 28 at Three Layers Café, 1602 Walnut St., Jacksonville. 355-9791.

MARK WILLIAMS & BLUE HORSE BAND Williams and his band play at 7 p.m. on April 28 at Culhane’s Irish Pub, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 249-9595.

EYE EMPIRE, MINDSLIP, REMNANTS OF SHADOWS, SUPER BOB, FALL FROM AFAR Local bands start at 7 p.m. on April 28 at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 223-9850.

THE WEDDING, WAVORLY, SATELLITES & SIRENS, PIONEER, KALIYL The faith-based rockers play at 7:30 p.m. on April 28 at Murray Hill Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., Jacksonville.

Advance tickets are $10; $15 day of show. 388-3179.

DICK DALE Surf guitar legend Dale hits the stage at 8 p.m. on April 28 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Tickets are $20. 398-7496.

AMONGST THE FORGOTTEN These hard rockers play plays at 8 p.m. on April 28 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Tickets are $8. 246-2473.

RICHARD SMITH Singer-songwriter Smith appears at 8 p.m. on April 28 at Pusser’s Caribbean Grille Restaurant, 816 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach. 280-0038.

CONFUSED LITTLE GIRL These local rockers play at 8 p.m. on April 28 at Bikini Beach, 2840 Mayport Road, Atlantic Beach. 241-5454.

LARRY MANGUM TRIO Singer-songwriter Mangum leads his band at 8 p.m. on April 28 at European Street Café, 5500 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville.

Tickets are $10. 399-1740.

SCHOLAR’S WORD Reggae-heads Scholar’s Word play at 9 p.m. on April 28 at Dog Star Tavern, 10 N. Second St., Fernandina Beach.

277-8010.

WELCOME TO ROCKVILLE: KORN, SHINEDOWN, EVANESCENCE, FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH, P.O.D.

34 | folio weekly | April 24-30, 2012

This festival of modern and hard rock starts at 11 a.m. on April 29 at Metropolitan Park, 1410 Gator Bowl Blvd., Jacksonville.

Tickets are $44.50. 630-0837. welcometorockvillefestival.com NICHOLAS WILLIAMS, DOMENIC Williams plays at 1 p.m.; Domenic is on at 4 p.m. at Nippers Beach Grille, 2309 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. 247-3300.

GOLIATH FLORES The local musician plays at 1 p.m. on April 29 at Three Layers Café, 1602 Walnut St., Jacksonville. 355-9791.

FIRST COAST FIDDLER & THE VALLEY GRASS This rootsy band performs at 4 p.m. on April 29 at Pusser’s Carribean Grille Restaurant, 816 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach.

280-0038.

BREAD AND BUTTER Bread and Butter, the all-covers alter ego of Chroma, plays at 8 p.m. on April 29 at Sun Dog Diner, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 241-8221.

GREG LAKE Former Emerson, Lake & Palmer frontman Greg Lake performs at 8 p.m. on April 29 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. Tickets are $30 and $35. 355-2787.

SAFARI SOUNDLAND This local band and others perform a free benefit concert at 5 p.m. on April 29 at St. Luke’s Episcopal Church, 2961 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. Donations benefit the Invisible Children and Against Malaria Foundation charities. Bring a non-perishable food item for Arlington Community Services.

744-2133.

MICHAEL McFARLAND, T&C, MONSTER FOOL, HOOBIEU The local rockers start at 7 p.m. on April 30 at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 223-9850.

AL POINDEXTER, RIVER RISE, RON JOHNSON, MARY MATHEWS The folk artists perform at 6:30 p.m. on May 1 at Clay County Headquarters Library, 1895 Town Center Blvd., Fleming Island.

278-3722.

LIT, A THOUSAND HORSES Alt rock faves Lit play at 8 p.m. on May 1 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Tickets are $15. 398-7496.

COUNTING CROWS Nineties modern rockers Counting Crows are on at 8 p.m. on May 1 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville.

Tickets are $41 and $51. 355-2787.

ROBERT LESTER FOLSOM & The RLF BAND Psychedelic rock legend Folsom plays at 9 p.m. on May 1 at Dos Gatos, 123 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. 354-0666.

• UPCOMING • • CONCERTS •

THE BEACH BOYS 50th ANNIVERSARY REUNION TOUR May 2, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MICKEY AVALON, ANDRE LEGACY May 2, Freebird Live THE DEEP DARK WOODS, FRIENDS OF BLAKE May 2, Jack Rabbits DIECAST, BECOMING MACHINE May 3, Brewster’s Pit THE FRAY May 4, St. Augustine Amphitheatre IN FEAR AND FAITH May 4, Brewster’s Pit GAMBLE ROGERS FOLK FESTIVAL: THE NOUVEAUX HONKIES, THE WAYMORES, AARON O’ROURKE TRIO, GRANT PEEPLES, THE GATORBONE BAND, SAM PACETTI May 4 & 5, St. Augustine SARAH BOONE May 5, Thrasher-Horne Center WHETHERMAN, CANARY IN THE COALMINE May 5, Mojo Kitchen DASOTA STUDENT GUITAR RECITAL May 5, European Street Café Southside KOTTONMOUTH KINGS, TWIZTID, BLAZE, BIG B, RAZORZ EDGE, TOO PHUCKS May 7, Brewster’s Pit HE’S MY BROTHER, SHE’S MY SISTER May 8, Burro Bar WHITECHAPEL, MISS MAY I, AFTER THE BURIAL, WITHIN THE RUINS, THE PLOT IN YOU May 9, Freebird Live LUKE BRYAN May 9, TPC Sawgrass Clubhouse LIVE AT THE LOT: CAMERON WILLIAMS, RANDOLPH TURNER, PINOCCHIO KNOWS May 9, TPC Sawgrass WE OWN THE NIGHT WORLD TOUR: LADY ANTEBELLUM, DARIUS RUCKER, THOMPSON SQUARE May 10, Veterans Memorial Arena BEACH HOUSE May 10, Freebird Live GRETCHEN PETERS May 10, European Street Café San Marco CATIE CURTIS May 11, Café Eleven BREAD AND BUTTER May 11 & 12, Fionn MacCool’s Jax Beach FUSEBOX FUNK May 12, Mojo Kitchen GOSPEL MUSIC May 12, Burro Bar THE ROCKETBOYS May 13, Burro Bar CHUCK PROPHET & THE MISSION EXPRESS May 14, Jack Rabbits WILCO May 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JANE’S ADDICTION May 16, The Florida Theatre ACOUSTICANA MUSIC FAIR: CHERYL WATSON & WATERTOWN, LARRY MANGUM, BACK FROM THE BRINK, TRINITY RIVER BAND May 19, Faith United Methodist Church UNCLE KRACKER May 19, Mavericks IN WHISPERS, GHOSTWITCH, THE HOLIDAZED, PRONOUNCED A LYNYRD SKYNYRD TRIBUTE, FRIENDS OF BLAKE May 19, Bikini Beach GRANT PEEPLES May 19, European Street Southside TRIBAL SEEDS May 20, Freebird Live FLOGGING MOLLY May 21, Mavericks LUCERO May 23, Café Eleven EDGAR WINTER BAND May 24, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JACKSONVILLE JAZZ FESTIVAL: SONNY ROLLINS, CHICK COREA, STANLEY CLARKE, LENNY WHITE TRIO, PATTI AUSTIN, JACKSONVILLE SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA May 24-27, Downtown Jacksonville ROD PICOTT, AMANDA SHIRES May 26, European Street Café San Marco ONE May 26, Freebird Live ATLAS, INSIDE THE TARGET CAR May 26, Burro Bar COLBIE CAILLAT, GAVIN DEGRAW May 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre BREATHE CAROLINA, WALLPAPER, NEON HITCH May 28, Freebird Live DETHLEHEM May 30, Burro Bar CELERITAS, MILO June 5, Burro Bar LARRY MANGUM, MIKE SHACKELFORD, JAMIE DEFRATES June 6, European Street Café Southside TODAY THE MOON, TOMORROW THE SUN June 6, Burro Bar JB SCOTT’S SWINGIN’ ALLSTARS June 7, European Street Café San Marco ZZ TOP, 3 DOORS DOWN, GRETCHEN WILSON June 8, St. Augustine Amphitheatre STEPHEN SIMMONS June 14, European Street Café San Marco THE FAMILY STONE June 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ROD MacDONALD June 16, European Street Café Southside TOMMY ROE June 17, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SHATTERMAT, XGEEZER, SONS OF YOUNG June 17, Burro Bar JEREMY AKIN June 25, Burro Bar RINGO STARR & HIS ALL STARR BAND June 29, St. Augustine Amphitheatre

• CLUBS • AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

“What a Lucky Man he was!� Former Emerson, Lake & Palmer frontman Greg Lake performs on April 29 at 8 p.m. at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. Tickets are $30 and $35. Lake was also an original member of prog-rock greats King Crimson. 355-2787.

DANIEL LEVI GOANS July 8, Burro Bar 311, SLIGHTLY STOOPID, THE AGGROLITES July 18, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THE DUKES OF SEPTEMBER RHYTHM REVUE (DONALD FAGEN, MICHAEL McDONALD, BOZ SCAGGS) July 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre YES, PROCOL HARUM July 28, St. Augustine Amphitheatre LITTLE FEAT July 31, The Florida Theatre

POWERBALL, THE PINZ, SHATTERMAT Aug. 4, Burro Bar AARON NEVILLE Aug. 7, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall TAMMERLIN Aug. 25, European Street CafĂŠ Southside TRAIN Sept. 6, St. Augustine Amphitheatre IAN ANDERSON (Jethro Tull) Sept. 21, St. Augustine Amphitheatre EDDIE VEDDER Nov. 24 & 25, T-U Center

BEECH STREET GRILL, 801 Beech, 277-3662 John Springer on Fri. & Sat., every other Thur. Barry Randolph every Sun. CAFE KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269 Live music in the courtyard at 6 p.m. every Fri. & Sat., at 5 p.m. every Sun. DOG STAR TAVERN, 10 N. Second St., 277-8010 Ginormous J on April 26. Badman on April 27. Scholar’s Word on April 28. DJs J.G. World & Jim spin actual vinyl at 8 p.m. every Tue. for Working Class Stiffs GENNARO’S ITALIANO SOUTH, 5472 First Coast Hwy., 491-1999 Live jazz from 7:30-9:30 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. GREEN TURTLE TAVERN, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Dan Voll from 7-10 p.m. every Fri. Live music every weekend O’KANE’S IRISH PUB, 318 Centre St., 261-1000 Dan Voll at 7:30 p.m. every Wed. Turner London Band at 8:30 p.m. every Thur., Fri. & Sat. THE PALACE SALOON & SHEFFIELD’S, 117 Centre St., 491-3332 BSP Unplugged every Tue. & Sun. Wes Cobb every Wed. DJ Heavy Hess, Hupp & Rob every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. DJ Miguel Alvarez in Sheffield’s every Fri. DJ Heavy Hess every Sat. Cason every Mon. PLAE, 80 Amelia Circle, Amelia Island Plantation, 277-2132 Gary Ross from 7-11 p.m. every Thur.-Sat. SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6990 Cason at 2 p.m. at the tiki bar every Sat. & Sun. THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Live music Tue.-Sun. DJ Roc at 5 p.m. every Wed.

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

AJ’S BAR & GRILLE, 10244 Atlantic Blvd., 805-9060 DJ Sheryl every Thur., Fri. & Sat. DJ Mike every Tue. & Wed. Karaoke every Thur.

MVP’S SPORTS GRILLE, 12777 Atlantic Blvd., 221-1090 Live music at 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. PLUSH, RAIN, LAVA, 845 University Blvd. N., 745-1845 DJ Massive spins top 40 in Rain every Wed., DJs spin Latin every Fri. STARBUCKS, 9301 Atlantic Blvd., 724-4554 Open mic with Starbucks Trio from 8-11 p.m. every other Fri.

Wednesday Will Pearsall Thursday Rough Mix Friday & Saturday Cloud 9 Sunday Billy Bowers

Atlantic Blvd. at the Ocean "UMBOUJD #FBDI t April 24-30, 2012 | folio weekly | 35

TONINO’S TRATTORIA, 7001 Merrill Rd., 743-3848 Alaina Colding every Thur. W. Harvey Williams at 6 p.m. every Fri. Signature String Quartet every Sat. VIP LOUNGE, 7707 Arlington Expressway, 619-8198 Karaoke at 9 p.m. every Tue. Live music every Wed. & Fri. Reggae every Thur. A DJ spins Old School every Sat. A DJ spins every Sun.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

BRICK RESTAURANT, 3585 St. Johns Ave., 387-0606 Duet every Wed. Goliath Flores and Sam Rodriguez every Thur. Bush Doctors every first Fri. & Sat. Live jazz every Fri. & Sat. THE CASBAH CAFE, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. 3rd Bass every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave., 387-3582 DJ Keith spins for Karaoke every Tue. DJ Free spins vintage every Fri. DJs SuZiRok, LowKill & Mowgli spin for Chillwave Madness every Mon. ELEVATED AVONDALE, 3551 St. Johns Ave., 387-0700 Karaoke with Dave Thrash every Wed. DJ 151 spins hip hop, R&B, old-school every Thur. DJ Catharsis spins lounge beats every first & fourth Sat. Patrick Evan & CoAlition Industry Sun. TOM & BETTY’S, 4409 Roosevelt Blvd., 387-3311 Live music every Fri. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Sat.

BAYMEADOWS

THE COFFEE GRINDER, 9834 Old Baymeadows Rd., 642-7600 DJ Roy Luis spins new & vintage original house at 9 p.m. every Thur.

GATOR’S DOCKSIDE, 8650 Baymeadows Rd., 448-0500 Comfort Zone Band at 9 p.m. every Fri. MY PLACE BAR-N-GRILL, 9550 Baymeadows Rd., 737-5299 Out of Hand every Mon. Rotating bands every other Tue. & Wed. OASIS GRILL & CHILL, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., 748-9636 DJs Stan and Mike Bend spin every Feel Good Fri.

BEACHES

(In Jax Beach unless otherwise noted) BEACHSIDE SEAFOOD, 120 S. Third St., 444-8862 Kurt Lanham sings island music every Fri.-Sun.

BIKINI BEACH, 2840 Mayport Road, Atlantic Beach, 241-5454 Confused Little Girl on April 28 BILLY’S BOATHOUSE GRILL, 2321 Beach Blvd., 241-9771 Tony Novelly from 5:30-9:30 p.m. on April 25. Incognito at 5:30 p.m. on April 26. Green tea Logic from 6-10 p.m. on April 27. Ghost Radio from 6-10 p.m. on April 28. Incognito from noon-4 p.m., Splinters from 4:45-8:45 p.m. on April 29 BRIX TAPHOUSE, 300 N. Second St., 241-4668 DJ IBay every Tue., Fri. & Sat. DJ Ginsu every Wed. DJ Jade every Thur.

Charlie Walker every Sun. CRAB CAKE FACTORY, 1396 Beach Blvd., Beach Plaza, 247-9880 Live jazz with Pierre & Co. every Wed. CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 Permission Band at 7 p.m. on April 27.

Mark Williams & Blue Horse Band at 7 p.m. on April 28. Live music every weekend DICK’S WINGS, 311 N. Third St., Ste. 107, 853-5004 Big Jeff at 8 p.m. every Thur. Live music at 9 p.m. every Sat. EL POTRO MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1553 Third St. N., 241-6910 Wilfredo Lopez every Wed. & Sat. ENGINE 15 BREWING COMPANY, 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217, 249-2337 Live music every Thur.

FIONN MacCOOL’S, 333 N. First St., 242-9499 Live music every Thur.-Sat. FLY’S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 E. Sailfish Dr., Atlantic Beach, 246-4293 Nate Holley every Mon. Wes Cobb every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. King Eddie reggae every Sun. FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 Steel Pulse and Innercoastal on April 25. The Movement and Danka on April 27. Pug Ugly, Poor Richards, Gross Evolution, Velgate and Amongst the Forgotten on April 28. Mickey Avalon and Andre Legacy on May 2 ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR, 108 First St., Neptune Beach, 372-0943 Clayton Bush on April 26. Evan Paluszynski on April 27. John Austill on April 28. Live music every Thur.-Sat. LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-2922 Live music every Fri. & Sat. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 The Gootch on April 27 & 28. Split Tone at 10:30 p.m. every Tue. Live music every Wed. & Thur. Wits End every Sun. Little Green Men every Mon. MAYPORT TAVERN, 2775 Old Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 270-0801 Live music at 3 p.m. every Sun. Open mic at 5 p.m. every Wed. DJ Jason hosts Karaoke at 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., Ste. 2, 246-1500 Charlie Walker on April 25. Be Easy on April 26. Code Red on April 27. Brown Bag Special on April 28. Kurt Lanham on April 29 MEZZA LUNA, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573 Neil Dixon at 6 p.m. every Tue. Gypsies Ginger at 6 p.m. every Wed. Mike Shackelford and Rick Johnson at 6 p.m. every Thur.

MOJO KITCHEN, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636 Whetherman and Canary in a Coal Mine at 10 p.m. on May 5 MONKEY’S UNCLE TAVERN, 1850 S. Third St., 246-1070 Wes Cobb at 10 p.m. every Tue. DJ Austin Williams spins dance & for Karaoke at 9 p.m. every Wed., Sat. & Sun. DJ Papa Sugar spins dance music at 9 p.m. every Mon., Thur. & Fri. NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE, 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300 The 418 Band at 6 p.m. on April 26. Kevin Ski at 6 p.m., live music at 10 p.m. on April 27. Acoustic Shade at 2 p.m., Street Legal at 6 p.m. on April 28. Nicholas Williams at noon, Domenic Patruno at 4 p.m. on April 29. Reggae on the deck every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sun. Live music every third Wed. NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 Billy Bowers from 7:30-10:30 p.m. on April 27. Live music every Thur.-Sat. OCEAN 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060 Live music every weekend THE PIER RESTAURANT, 445 Eighth Ave. N., 246-6454 Darren Corlew and Johnny Flood at 7 p.m. every Thur. DJ Infader every Fri. Nate Holley every Sat. RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 Will Pearsall on April 25. Rough Mix on April 26.

Cloud 9 on April 27 & 28. Billy Bowers from 7-11 p.m. on April 29 RUSH STREET/CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILL, 320 N. First St., 270-8565 A DJ spins at 10 p.m. every Wed., Fri. & Sat. SUN DOG, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 241-8221 Buck Smith on April 25. Billy & Trevor on April 26. Dune Dogs on April 27 & 28. Bread & Butter on April 29. Live music every Tue.-Sun. THE WINE BAR, 320 N. First St., 372-0211 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

Ghost at 9 p.m. on April 27. DJ Tin Man spins reggae & dub every Tue. DJ SuZi-Rok spins every Thur. $Big Bucks DJ Crew$ every Sat. Bert No Shirt & Uncle Jesse every Sun. CITY HALL PUB, 234 Randolph Blvd., 356-6750 DJ Skillz spins Motown, hip hop & R&B every Wed. Jazz at 11 a.m., Latin music at 9 p.m. every first Fri.; Ol’ Skool every last Fri. DIVE BAR, 331 E. Bay St., 359-9090 Live music every weekend DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth, 354-0666 Robert Lester Folsom & The RLF Band at 9 p.m. on May 1. DJ Synsonic spins every Tue. & Fri. DJ Rockin’ Bones spins every Wed. DJ Scandalous spins every Sat. DJ Randall Karaoke every Mon. FIONN MacCOOL’S, The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Ste. 176, 374-1247 Live music every weekend THE IVY ULTRA BAR, 113 E. Bay St., 356-9200 DJs 151 The Experience & C-Lo spin every Rush Hour Wed. DJ E.L. spins top 40, South Beach & dance classics every Pure Sat. THE JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Hipp Street at 9 p.m. on April 27. Stevie Fingers at 8 p.m. on April 28 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Vinn spins top 40 for ladies nite every Thur. Ritmo y Sabor every Fiesta Fri. BayStreet mega party with DJ Shotgun every Sat. MAVERICKS, The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., 356-1110 Rodney Atkins at 6 p.m. on April 26. Bobby Laredo spins every Thur. & Sat. Saddle Up every Sat. NORTHSTAR THE PIZZA BAR, 119 E. Bay St., 860-5451 Open mic night from 8:30-11:30 p.m. every Wed. THE PEARL, 1101 N. Main St., 791-4499 DJs Tom P. & Ian S. spin ’80s & indie dance every Fri. DJ Ricky spins indie rock, hip hop & electro every Sat. POPPY LOVE SMOKE, 112 E. Adams St., 354-1988 DJs Al Pete & Gene Dot spin for The Glossary at 10 p.m. every Sat. ZODIAC GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

FLEMING ISLAND

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999 Wits End on April 26. Megan Diamond on April 27.

The Lift on April 28. Live music every Fri. & Sat. MERCURY MOON, 2015 C.R. 220, 215-8999 DJ Ty spins for ladies’ nite every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Buck Smith Project every Mon. Blistur unplugged every Wed. RUSH STREET/CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILL, 406 Old Hard Rd., Ste. 106, 213-7779 A DJ spins at 10 p.m. every Wed., Fri. & Sat. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Karaoke on April 25. DJ BG on April 26. Suzie Kite at 9:30 p.m. on April 27. Lisa & the Madhatters at 9:30 p.m. on April 28. Reggae Band at 4 p.m. on April 29. Deck music at 5 p.m. every Fri. & Sat.

INTRACOASTAL WEST

BREWSTER’S PIT, 14003 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 223-9850 Johnny Osbourne at 8 p.m. on April 26. Eye Empire, Mindslip, Remnants of Shadows, Super Bob and Fall From Afar at 7 p.m. on April 28. Michael McFarland, T&C, Monster Fool and Hoobieu at 7 p.m. on April 30. Diecast and Becoming Machine on May 3 BREWSTER’S PUB, 14003 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 223-9850 Open mic every Wed. Karaoke with DJ Randal & live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat. A DJ spins every Mon.

BRUCCI’S PIZZA, 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 36, 223-6913 Mike Shackelford at 6:30 p.m. every Sat. and Mon. CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 JaxHammer on April 25. Cupid’s Alley at 9 p.m. on April 27 & 28. Karaoke every Thur. & Sun. Live music every Tue. JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE & STEAKHOUSE, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 22, 220-6766 Live music every Fri. YOUR PLACE BAR & GRILL, 13245 Atlantic Blvd., 221-9994 Tourn at 10 p.m. on April 27 & 28

JULINGTON CREEK, NW ST. JOHNS

HAPPY OURS SPORTS GRILLE, 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101, 683-1964 Live music at 7:30 p.m. every Fri. SHANNON’S IRISH PUB, 111 Bartram Oaks Walk, 230-9670 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

MANDARIN

AW SHUCKS OYSTER BAR & GRILL, 9743 Old St. Augustine Rd., 240-0368 Open mic with John O’Connor from 7-10 p.m. every Wed. Cafe Groove Duo, Jay Terry & John O’Connor, from 8-11 p.m. every Sat. Live music every Sat. CHEERS BAR & GRILL, 11475 San Jose Blvd., 262-4337 Karaoke at 9:30 p.m. every Wed. DICK’S WINGS, 10391 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-7087 Sunjammer at 7 p.m. on April 28 HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-3040 Karaoke from 9 p.m.-1 p.m. Mon.-Thur. Dennis Klee & the World’s Most Talented Waitstaff every Fri. & Sat. THE NEW ORLEANS CAFE, 12760 San Jose Blvd., 880-5155 Live music at 6 p.m. Tue., Wed., Fri.-Sun. Open mic with Biker Bob at 7:30 p.m. every Thur. Reggae with Les B. Fine at 1 p.m. every Sat. & Sun. Creekside Songwriters Showcase at 7 p.m. last Wed. every month RACK ’EM UP BILLIARDS, 4268 Oldfield Crossing, 262-4030 Karaoke at 7 p.m. every Sun. SPECKLED HEN TAVERN & GRILLE, 9475 Philips Hwy., Ste. 16, 538-0811 Live music from 6-9 p.m. every Fri. SUNBURST STUDIOS, 12641 San Jose Blvd., 485-0946 Open mic with My Friendz Band at 8:30 p.m. every Mon. Karaoke at 8:30 p.m. with DJ Tom Turner every Tue.

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

CHEERS BAR & GRILL, 1580 Wells Rd., 269-4855 Karaoke at 9:30 p.m. every Wed. & Sat. CRACKERS LOUNGE, 1282 Blanding Blvd., 272-4620 Karaoke every Fri. & Sat. THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael every Wed.-Sat. PARK AVENUE BILLIARDS, 714 Park Ave., 215-1557 Random Act from 7:30-11:30 p.m. every Mon. Bike Nite THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Live music every Thur.-Sat. DJ Jason every Tue. DJ Israel every Wed. Buck Smith Project every Mon.

PALATKA

DOWNTOWN BLUES BAR & GRILLE, 714 St. Johns Ave., (386) 325-5454 Lee Kelly from 6-9 p.m. on April 25. Good Karma Band from 8:30-11:30 p.m. on April 28. Local talent every Wed. Karaoke every Thur. Blues jam every Sun.

DOWNTOWN

1904, 19 Ocean St., 356-0213 Consider the Source, Lucky Costello and Rawmyst at 8 p.m. on April 25. S.P.O.R.E. and Kota Mundi on April 27. Marion Crane CD release party on April 28 BURRO BAR, 228 E. Forsyth St., 353-4692 Carousel on April 25. Garrett on Acoustic, Black Sun Rising and Go Away

36 | folio weekly | April 24-30, 2012

Harpeth Rising performs on April 26 at 8 p.m. at European Street Café, 1704 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville.

Tickets are $10. 399-1740. The band also appears on April 28 at 11:45 a.m. at Riverside Arts Market, held under the Fuller Warren Bridge at Riverside Avenue, downtown. This classically trained quartet plays an inventive style of Americana music. 554-6865.

26. Bill & Dave on April 27. Domenic Patruno on April 28. Live music every Wed.-Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Court, Ste. 1, 997-1955 Paul Haftel on April 25. Charlie Walker at 8 p.m. on April 26. Jonnie Morgan on April 28 SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY, 9735 Gate Pkwy.

N., 997-1999 Chuck Nash every Thur. Live music at 10 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. SUITE, 4880 Big Island Dr., 493-9305 Live music from 9 p.m.-mid. every Thur. and 6-9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. URBAN FLATS, 9726 Touchton Rd., 642-1488 Live music every Fri. & Sat. WHISKY RIVER, 4850 Big Island Drive, 645-5571 Slippery When Wet (Bon Jovi tribute band) for Alive After Five on April 27. A DJ spins every Fri. & Sat. WILD WING CAFE, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Cowford County Band on April 27. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Karaoke every Wed.

Waves of Rock! Surf guitar legend Dick Dale returns to Northeast Florida on April 28 at 8 p.m. at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Tickets are $20. Known as The King of the Surf Guitar, the now 74-year-old Dale inspired countless other guitarists, including Jimi Hendrix.

Dick Dale’s 1962 instrumental “Miserlou” was heard during the opening credits of the 1994 film “Pulp Fiction.” 398-7496.

PONTE VEDRA

LULU’S WATERFRONT GRILLE, 301 N. Roscoe Blvd., 285-0139 Mike Shackelford & Rick Johnson from 7-10 p.m. every Fri. Tony Novelly from 6-10 p.m. every Mon. PUSSER’S CARIBBEAN GRILLE, 816 A1A N., Ste. 100, 280-7766 Braxton Adamson at 6 p.m. on April 26. Alex Seier at 8 p.m. on April 27. Richard Smith at 8 p.m. on April 28. The First Coast Fiddler & Valley Grass for Soundstage Sunday at 4 p.m. on the deck on April 29. Live music every Thur.-Sun. URBAN FLATS, 330 A1A N., 280-5515 Darren Corlew every Tue. Soulo & Deron Baker at 6 p.m. every Wed.

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

ALPHADOG GRILL, 2782 Park St., 374-8715 Karaoke every Sat. & Mon. FLA RIDERS MOTORCYCLE CLUB, 243 S. Edgewood Ave. DJ DreOne spins every Wed. for open mic nite HJ’S BAR & GRILL, 8540 Argyle Forest Blvd., 317-2783 Karaoke with DJ Ron at 8:30 p.m. every Tue. & DJ Richie at every Fri. Live music every Sat. Open mic at 8 p.m. every Wed. KICKBACKS, 910 King St., 388-9551 Ray & Taylor every Thur. Robby Shenk every Sun. LOMAX LODGE, 822 Lomax St., 634-8813 DJ Dots every Tue. Milan da Tin Man every Wed. DJ Christian every Sat. DJ Spencer every Sun. DJ Luminous every Mon. THE MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave., 388-7807 Sleeping Giant, In The Midst of Lions, Gideon, Rejoice the Awakening, Convalesce and Atlas at 7 p.m. on April 27. The Wedding, Wavorly, Satellites & Sirens, Pioneer and Kaliyl at 7:30 p.m. on April 28 PIZZA PALACE, 920 Margaret St., 598-1212 Jennifer Chase at 6:30 p.m. every Fri. YESTERDAYS SOCIAL CLUB, 3638 Park St., 387-0502 Rotating DJs spin for Pro Bono electronic music party from 7 p.m.-2 a.m. every Sun.

ST. AUGUSTINE

A1A ALE WORKS, 1 King St., 829-2977 Domenic on April 26. The Domenic Patruno Band on April 27 & 28 AMICI ITALIAN RESTAURANT, 1915 A1A S., 461-0102 Fermin Spanish guitar from 6-8 p.m. every Thur.

ANN O’MALLEY’S, 23 Orange St., 825-4040 Open mic on April 24. The V-E Day Quartet on April 27. John Dickie on April 28. Colton McKenna at 2 p.m. on April 29 BARLEY REPUBLIC IRISH PUBLIC HOUSE, 48 Spanish St., 547-2023 Live music Fri. & Sat. THE BRITISH PUB, 213 Anastasia Blvd., 810-5111 Karaoke with Jimmy Jamez at 9 p.m. on April 27 CAFE ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311 Mark Sultan, Golden Pelicans, Woolly Bushmen and DJ La Mars at 8 p.m. on April 25 CELLAR UPSTAIRS, San Sebastian Winery, 157 King St., 826-1594 The Mix at 7 p.m. on April 27. Gary Campbell at 2 p.m., The Falling Bones at 7 p.m. on April 28. Vinny Jacobs at

2 p.m. on April 29 CRUISERS GRILL, 3 St. George St., 824-6993 Live music every Fri. & Sat. Chelsea Saddler every Sun. FLORIDA CRACKER CAFE, 81 St. George St., 829-0397 Lonesome Bert & the Skinny Lizard at 5:30 p.m. every Wed. HARRY’S, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765 Billy Bowers from 6-10 p.m. on April 25 JACK’S BARBECUE, 691 A1A Beach Blvd., 460-8100 Jim Essery at 4 p.m. every Sat. Live music every Thur.-Sat. KING’S HEAD BRITISH PUB, 6460 U.S. 1, 823-9787 Mike Sweet from 6-8 p.m. every Thur.

KOZMIC BLUZ PIZZA CAFE & ALE, 48 Spanish St., 825-4805 Live music every Fri., Sat. & Sun. MARDI GRAS SPORTS BAR, 123 San Marco Ave., 823-8806 Open jam nite with house band at 8 p.m. every Wed. Battle of the DJs with Josh Frazetta & Mardi Gras Mike every last Sun. MEEHAN’S IRISH PUB, 20 Avenida Menendez, 810-1923 Live music every Fri. & Sat. MI CASA CAFE, 69 St. George St., 824-9317 Chelsea Saddler from noon-4 p.m. every Mon., Tue. & Thur. Elizabeth Roth at noon every Sun. MILL TOP TAVERN & LISTENING ROOM, 19 1/2 St. George St., 829-2329 True Blue at 9 p.m. on April 27 & 28. Anthony Sica at 1 p.m. on April 29. Vinny Jacobs every Tue. Todd & Molly Jones every Wed. Colton McKenna at 9 p.m. every Thur.

Will Pearsall at 9 p.m. every Mon. SCARLETT O’HARA’S, 70 Hypolita St., 824-6535 Billy Bowers from noon-4 p.m. on April 28. Lil Blaze & DJ Alex are in for Karaoke every Mon. SIRENS, 113 Anastasia Blvd., 460-2641 Live music every Fri. DJs spin every Sat. Live music from 3-6 p.m. every Biker Sunday SPY GLOBAL CUISINE & LOUNGE, 21 Hypolita St., 819-5637 Live music every Fri.-Sun. THE TASTING ROOM, 25 Cuna St., 810-2400 Bossa nova with Monica da Silva & Chad Alger from 5-8 p.m. every Sun. TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Red River Band at 9 p.m. on April 27 & 28. Mark Hart every Mon.-Wed. Open mic every Thur. Mark Hart & Jim Carrick every Fri. Elizabeth Roth at 1 p.m., Mark Hart at 5 p.m. every Sat. Keith Godwin at 1 p.m., Wade at 5 p.m. every Sun. Matanzas at 9 p.m. Sun.-Thur.

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER

AROMAS CIGARS & WINE BAR, 4372 Southside Blvd., Ste. 101, 928-0515 Live jazz from 8-11 p.m. every Tue. Beer house rock every Wed. Live music every Thur. Will Hurley every Fri. Bill Rice at 9 p.m. every Sat. BLACKFINN AMERICAN GRILLE, 4840 Big Island Dr., 345-3466 Live music from 2-7 p.m. every Sun. JOHNNY ANGELS, 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Ste. 120, 997-9850 Harry & Sally from 7-9 p.m. every Wed. Karaoke from 7-10 p.m. every Sat. with Gimme the Mike DJs ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR, 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115, 854-6060 Billy Buchanan on April 25. Mark O’Quinn on April

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

ENDO EXO, 1224 Kings Ave., 396-7733 DJ J-Money spins jazz, soul, R&B, house every Fri. DJ Manus spins top 40 & dance every Sat. Open mic with King Ron & T-Roy every Mon. EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 399-1740 Harpeth Rising at 8 p.m. on April 26. Larry Mangum, Jim Carrick, Bob Patterson and Charley Simmons perform a Gamble Rogers tribute on May 3. Jazz every second Tue. HAVANA-JAX CUBA LIBRE BAR LOUNGE, 2578 Atlantic Blvd., 399-0609 MVP Band from 6-9 p.m., DJs No Fame & Dr. Doom every Wed. Jazz every Thur. American Top 40 every Fri. Salsa every Sat. JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Polygons, Vultress and Mitch Kuhman Band at 8 p.m. on April 24.

Malcolm Holcombe on April 25. Tim Barry, Billy + Joe, Beau Crum and Joel Wiltgen at 8 p.m. on April 26. Whole Wheat Bread, DP and Gentleman’s Army at 8 p.m. on April 27. Dick Dale at 8 p.m. on April 28. Lit and A Thousand Horses at 8 p.m. on May 1. The Deep Dark Woods and Friends of Blake at 8 p.m. on May 2 MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922 Bossa nova with Monica da Silva & Chad Alger at 7 p.m. every Thur.

PIZZA PALACE, 1959 San Marco Blvd., 399-8815 Jennifer Chase at 7:30 p.m. every Sat. SQUARE ONE, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 306-9004 The Big Naturals at 9 p.m. on April 27. Soul on the Square with MVP Band & Special Formula at 8 p.m.; DJ Dr. Doom at 10:30 p.m. every Mon. DJs Wes Reed & Josh Kemp spin underground dance at 9 p.m. every Wed. DJ Hal spins for Karaoke at 9 p.m. every Thur. Mitch Kuhman & Friends of Blake at 6 p.m. every other Fri. DJs Rogue and Mickey Shadow spin every Factory Sat.

SAA

SOUTHSIDE

BOMBA’S, 8560 Beach Blvd., 997-2291 Open mic with The Foxes from 7-11 p.m. every Tue. & with George every Thur.

Live music every Fri. CORNER BISTRO & Wine Bar, 9823 Tapestry Park Cir., Ste. 1, 619-1931 Matt “Pianoman” Hall every Fri. & Sat. DAVE & BUSTER’S, 7025 Salisbury Rd. S., 296-1525 A DJ spins every Fri. EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 5500 Beach Blvd., 399-1740 Larry Mangum, Woody Berlin and Joey Kerr at 8 p.m. on April 28 LATITUDE 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 DJ 007 Vic Jones on April 26. DJ Chill Will at 11:30 p.m. on April 27.

Boogie Freaks at 8:30 p.m., VJ Josh Frazetta at 11:30 p.m. on April 28

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

BLUE DINER CAFE, 5868 Norwood Ave., 766-7774 Jazz from 7-9 p.m. every first Thur.

BOOTS-N-BOTTLES, 12405 N. Main St., Ste. 7, 647-7798 Karaoke every Tue., Thur. & Sun. Open mic every Wed. DAMES POINT MARINA, 4518 Irving Rd., 751-3043 Live music every Fri. & Sat. FLIGHT 747 LOUNGE, 1500 Airport Rd., 741-4073 Live music every Fri. & Sat. ’70s every Tue. SKYLINE SPORTSBAR, 5611 Norwood Ave., 517-6973 Bigga Rankin & Cool Running DJs every Tue. & 1st Sun. Fusion Band & DJ every Thur. DJ Scar spins every Sun. THREE LAYERS CAFE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 Ray & Melissa at 7 p.m. on April 28. Goliath Flores at 1 p.m. on April 29 3 LIONS SPORTS PUB & GRILL, 2467 Faye Rd., 647-8625 Open mic every Thur. Woodie & Wyatt C. every Fri. Live music every Sat. To get your band listed here, send all the vitals — band name, time, date, location of venue, with street address, city, admission price and contact number — to Dan Brown, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 or email events@folioweekly.com.

April 24-30, 2012 | folio weekly | 37

38 | folio weekly | April 24-30, 2012

Set and Setting: A glimpse at some of the dark, atmospheric production designs for “Les Misérables,” which were inspired by original paintings by Victor Hugo.

The Grand Illusion

A contemporary classic celebrates 25 years of dazzling theater lovers with one lavish production LES MISÉRABLES Tuesday, May 1 at 7:30 p.m.

T-U Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville The show is also staged May 2-6 with evening and matinee performances Tickets range from $27-$77 632-3373

C

all it a quiet obsession, but for nearly a quarter century — almost the entirety of its existence — I have been fascinated by the musical “Les Misérables.” This is not something I proclaim loudly, as is my wont in most other aspects of my life, though there was a time in 1987, after I attended the show’s American debut, that I wore an official tour shirt almost incessantly. (I only recently let it go to Goodwill.)

Since then, I have seen the musical five times — soon to be six. I own several different international versions of the soundtrack and, since I am currently writing the music for two original musicals, I have recently revisited the deep, rich and complex score with new reverence for composer Claude-Michel Schönberg, lyricist Alain Boublil and English translator Herbert Kretzmer. Sung-through (meaning every word in the script is sung, not spoken) and close to three hours long, the musical adaptation of Victor Hugo’s novel is a masterwork of musical invention, using but a few melodic themes to create a strikingly unique and seamless piece.

Though elements of “Les Miz” have seeped into popular culture — namely Susan Boyle’s career-making rendition of “I Dreamed a Dream” on “Britain’s Got Talent” — the musical has remained relatively unblemished amid the rise of its more successful (and pompously serious) predecessor “The Phantom of the Opera,” the indie-rock phenomenon “Rent”

and the comical but intentionally derivative “Urinetown.” Now celebrating its 25th year, the show has received a makeover at the hands of veteran scenic designer Matt Kinley. Hardcore fans are in for a surprise, as “Les Miz” returns to its roots. The turntable is gone and the visual effects have been refined. But the biggest surprise — aside from a new visual interpretation of Inspector Javert’s demise — are sets designed by Kinley, which are based on rarely seen paintings

by Hugo himself.

Dark and atmospheric, the new sets offer exposition that may have been implied in earlier productions, but was never quite clear.

“We thought ‘Well, let’s try and explain where we are a bit more in life,’ but we didn’t want to make it photographic. So these paintings gave us a wonderful, loose, impressionistic way of showing us some color, time of day and location — which you don’t get from the original — without being explicit.”

The discovery of the Hugo paintings was somewhat serendipitous for Kinley, who had worked on previous versions of “Les Misérables.”

At the behest of producer Cameron Mackintosh, who requested a new approach for the 25th anniversary tour, Kinley began digging more deeply into Hugo’s history. “I was always vaguely aware that he was a painter,” says Kinley. “When Cameron asked me to look at different ways of doing ‘Les Miz,’ I started researching Victor Hugo on the Internet, and all these pictures started appearing. I delved into it, bought more and more books. I thought [the paintings] were beautiful. They were somber, and they had a wonderful moody quality to them, and I thought that would go very well with the original, very dark aesthetic of the show.”

Changing a show as recognizable as “Les Miz” can be troublesome, since diehard fans

expect to see things staged a certain way. Indeed, over time, the cast has become more ethnically diverse, and with the advent of new technology, the show has been streamlined and updated as well. But the elimination of the revolving stage may seem a jarring choice for those used to watching the cast literally march, run and dance over relatively long distances as the stage turned beneath them. Kinley says he was sensitive to the potential to turn off loyal fan with such choices. “ ‘Les Miz’ is an absolute master class on how to use a revolve,” he says, referring to the mechanical, rotating stage platform used in some theatrical productions. “But there was no point in us going down that road [again]. It’s a big thing to tour, when we’re trying to make something that’s light to tour. And, we would never better what was done 25 years ago.

“We didn’t want to completely alienate an audience who holds it very dear,” Kinley continues. “We wanted to do a show which people still recognize as ‘Les Miz,’ and get the same feeling from, but [offer] them a different take on the same show. You still recognize it as that world, but we just do it in a very different way.”

Truth is, “Les Misérables” is such a timeless piece, one that exists far from Broadway convention and operatic classicism (but draws liberally from both), one that appeals to show tunes lovers and music aficionados alike, that it will hold up, regardless of its treatment. And as I sit in the audience for my sixth show, this time with my 5-year-old daughter — a girl who is so familiar with the soundtrack she can call out titles within the first measures of many songs — it will be a wholly new, yet warmly familiar experience.

FEEL LIKE VENTING,

ELUCIDATING, OR JUST

WEIGHING IN?

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Submissions should be 1,200 to 1,400 length and topics of local interest words in length, take precendence.

Get your word out! Email your Backpage submissions to Editor Anne Schindler at themail@folioweekly.com

John E. Citrone themail@folioweekly.com April 24-30, 2012 | folio weekly | 39

Horn Dog: Saxophonist Jamison Williams is the mastermind behind the new downtown music and arts space, + SoLo.

Brass Knuckles

Improv saxophonist Jamison Williams attempts to liberate the local music scene, one note at a time

W

ADVERTISING PROOF

40 | folio weekly | April 24-30, 2012

Anna Funk

hen the 31st annual Jacksonville Jazz Festival kicks off downtown at the end of May during Memorial Day Weekend, one local musician intends to contrast the more mainstream offerings with a decidedly offbeat sound. In fact, if Jamison Williams’ idea goes according to plan, revelers crossing the Main Street Bridge will witness a group of musicians engaged in a fierce display of free improvisation.

“While Chick Corea is doing his thing at Metro Park,” says Williams, “We will be going at it full force.”

On Tue., May 1, Williams intends to open + SoLo, a new gallery and performance space This isStreet. a copyright protected proof © in the heart of downtown on Bay Along with Williams, creative cohorts A.G. Davis, For questions, please call your advertisingKeaton representative at 260-9770.

Orsborn and Brian Ratigan are co- RUN DATE: 032205 drummer] Buddy Rich.” Rich’s expert rhythms curators and co-directors of the space. Williams FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 led Williams to other percussionists like Sunny has already put his initial excitement to good PROMISE OF BENEFIT SUPPORT FORdays ACTION byRashied Ali. Sales Rep st Murray and “There is a literal useASK — within of signingProduced the lease heby hasjh Checked bridge from players like Rich and Max Roach to booked gigs through mid-August, including the someone like Bill Stevenson of Black Flag.” After aforementioned Jazz Fest weekend. “You could hearing German free jazz saxophone titan Peter never have pulled this off 15 years ago,” he says.

Brötzmann, the twentysomething Williams Williams should know. During the last abandoned the drums and picked up an alto decade-plus, the 36-year-old saxophonist saxophone. “I heard Brötzmann playing with has devoted his energies to performing fully drummer Han Bennink and I realized that it was improvised music, collaborating with other like hardcore punk by a jazz band. It’s like the musicians in creating spontaneously composed music. An evolution of the jazz scene of the ’60s, jazz equivalent of Slayer.” Yet Williams is hardly a savant of the brass instrument. Beginning in the full-tilt improvisation that Williams engages 2000, he studied under local instructor Lou in can be cacophonous or ecstatic, sometimes Moore (“he’s like a drill sergeant”) and from both in the same performance. While Williams 2006-’10 worked under saxophonist-instructor has performed solo and with various ensembles, Matt Vance at FSCJ’s South Campus. “I can the problem has been finding a venue in which play standards,” assures the horn man. “All of to showcase the music. those juries we had to do in college forced us to “Ian Ranne is the king,” says Williams of the know all of those tunes.” And while Williams longtime club owner and promoter. “Back in can fly through the changes of “Autumn Leaves,” the day at Shantytown Pub, Ian would say, ‘Do he spends untold hours focused on “playing you want to play? Bring it in.’ “ What Williams around” the accepted timbre of his horn. In the brought in to the popular Springfield watering tradition of players like Brötzmann and (most hole was Trap Bomb, a 12-piece “thrash jazz” famously) Albert Ayler, Williams is a proponent ensemble that featured a veritable who’s who of the extended techniques of the saxophone, of local “free” players, including Lucy Bonk on spitting out harmonics, weeping “multiphonics” euphonium, Jay Peele on trumpet, Kris Gruda and ear-blasting split tones, the reed equivalent on guitar, Jim Ivy on tenor sax, and drummer Bill Henderson driving the band with a solid of a guitarist creating feedback and noise from Grindcore-style blast beat. Leading the fray an amplifier and effects pedals. Most recently, was Williams, conjuring a barrage of harmonic Williams switched to soprano saxophone, a shards and melodic shrapnel out of his alto sax. decision that has led to even more time spent in “I haven’t had a bad response,” says Williams sonic investigation. “In this year alone, I would of local audiences. “And if I have, they haven’t say conservatively I have spent a few hundred returned to tell me!” hours playing.”

A native of Dunoon, Scotland, Williams While improvised music by its very nature and his family moved to Jacksonville in 1984. can be inherently exclusionary or even abrasive, Inspired by local bands like Mysterious Briefcase Williams is quick to cite the music’s sense of and Proletariats, Williams began drumming community. Gainesville, Orlando and Miami in hardcore punk groups, including his own are but a few areas where Williams is a regular band, Beef O’Brady. “We were probably the participant of on-the-spot playing. This same worst Screeching Weasel rip-off band that ever cooperative sense played out in securing the existed.” It was during this time that a beernew performance space. Burro Bar owner fueled conversation with friend (and longtime Jack Twachtman suggested that Williams get Folio Weekly columnist) Shelton Hull changed in touch with Downtown Vision Inc. “We Williams’ perception of aggro music. “Shelton bounced around from five different possible told me I had to check out [legendary jazz spots, from Edgewood Avenue to North Main

Street, but thanks to Downtown Vision, we pulled this off,” Williams says.

Passionate about the music, Williams also engaged in some old-school fundraising to have both money and equipment donated for the new space. “It was all of those years of experiencing PBS and NPR drives. I kept saying, ‘Keep pledging, keep pledging!’ ” Williams is a credible music ambassador, having organized countless performances and released several recordings. He stays plugged into the greater cause with his website (vantagebulletin.com), is a regular invited performer to Miami’s annual International Noise Conference and has even been acknowledged by the global improv community.

In the January 2011 issue of monthly UK improv music bible The Wire, none other than legendary underground scribe Byron Coley sang his praises, describing the Williams’ muscular horn work as an “unholy … hillock of squawk.”

Yet Williams believes in keeping it local and is most excited about the grassroots vibe that exists here. In conversation, he is amped about the new space, pointing out that the carpeting and brick walls provide encouraging acoustics for music. He is also open to the idea of what he calls working with other local entities in a “cross-genre” capacity. “If given the opportunity, I’d like to get in touch with the people from CoRK to also use this space as a downtown facility to show their work.”

But Jamison Williams is mostly psyched about the prospect of jamming with a shifting array of musical peers. “We’re going to have a piano there,” he promises, “and if someone wants to play, I’ll be there with my horn all of the damn time!”

Dan Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com

On May 25 and 26, + SoLo hosts Jazz Fest concerts with musicians including Jim Ivy, Kris Gruda, AJ Herring, Jamison Williams, Michael Lanier, Bill Henderson and many others, at 107 E. Bay St., downtown Jacksonville. For a full list of scheduled performances, visit sologallery.org.

PERFORMANCE

LES MISÉRABLES This much-loved musical about the lives and loves of a group of characters in 19th-century France is staged at 7:30 p.m. on May 1 at the T-U Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville.

Tickets range from $27-$77. The show is also staged May 2-6 with evening and matinee performances. 632-3373.

BILL COSBY The comedy legend is featured at 2 p.m. on April 29 at the T-U Center’s Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $34-$74. 632-3373.

THE JOFFREY BALLET SCHOOL This acclaimed 22-member dance company performs at 8 p.m. on April 27 at University of North Florida’s Lazzara Hall, 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville. Tickets range from $20-$38. 620-2878.

COMPANY TEAM CONCERT The Dance Company presents “Cinema,” a performance featuring dance styles ranging from jazz and ballet to pointe, at 7 p.m. on April 26 at Flagler College’s Auditorium, 74 King St., St. Augustine. Tickets are $10 and $15. Proceeds benefit auditorium renovations.

471-4946. tututix.com CHILDREN OF A LESSER GOD Limelight Theatre presents Mark Medoff’s romantic drama, about the relationship between a deaf student and her teacher, at 7:30 p.m. on April 24, 26, 27 and 28 and at 2 p.m. on April 29 at 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine. Tickets are $25; $22 for seniors; $20 for military and students. The play is staged through May 13. 825-1164.

CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF Players by the Sea stages Tennessee Williams’ classic drama, about the turbulent relationships of a family on a Mississippi plantation, at 8 p.m. on April 26, 27 and 28 and at 2 p.m. on April 29 at 106 N. Sixth St., Jax Beach.

Tickets are $20; $17 for seniors, military and students. The play runs through May 12. 249-0289.

TWENTIETH CENTURY This comedy about a 1930s-era egomaniacal Broadway director and his attempts to woo a Hollywood starlet on a cross-country train trip is staged at 7:30 p.m. on April 26, at 8 p.m. on April 27 and 28 and at 2 p.m. on April 29 at Theatre Jacksonville, 2032 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville. The show is staged through May 5 with Sunday matinee performances. Tickets are $25; $20 for seniors, military and students. 396-4425.

BUDDY - THE BUDDY HOLLY STORY The Tony-winning musical, chronicling the pioneering rock-and-roll legend, is staged at 8 p.m. on April 24-29 and May 1, at 1:15 p.m. on April 28 and at 2 p.m. on April 29 at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $42-$49. The show runs through June 3. 641-1212.

A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE Amelia Community Theatre presents Tennessee Williams’ gripping Southern drama at 8 p.m. on April 26, 27 and 28 at 209 Cedar St., Fernandina Beach. Tickets are $20; $10 for students. 261-6749.

CLIFFORD THE BIG RED DOG This family-geared story of one big, lovable mutt is staged at 3 p.m. on April 28 at ThrasherHorne Center for the Arts, 283 College Drive, Orange Park.

Tickets range from $6-$28. 276-6750.

COMEDY FOR CRITTERS Mad Cowford Improv presents this fundraiser performance at 8 p.m. on April 28 at Hotel Indigo, 9840 Tapestry Park Circle, Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $10; $12 at the door. A silent auction is held at 7 p.m. Proceeds benefit American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals and First Coast No More Homeless Pets.

608-1148. madcowford.com/comedyforcritters.html

CALLS & WORKSHOPS

VOCAL WORKSHOP Vocalist Matt Morgan and pianist Zeek Smith lead this master class at 11 a.m. on April 28 at St. Luke’s Episcopal Church, 2961 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. Fee is $50; $10 to audit. 744-2133.

AUDITIONS FOR COMEDY Limelight Theatre auditions for the comedy “Lend Me a Tenor” at 6 p.m. on June 3 at 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine. Cast calls for four female (ages 20s-60s) and male (20s-60s) roles. Prepare a one-minute comedic monologue and a cold reading. 825-1164.

ARTISTS SOUGHT FOR COMMUNITY PROJECT The project “B Squared,” an offshoot of the community arts project “Imagination Squared,” is seeking creative types. Artists can purchase two wooden squares for $36 to be used for original artwork, which is then displayed at Biscottis in Avondale.

306-0100.

THEATRE SEEKS INSTRUCTORS Limelight Theatre seeks children, teen and adult dance instructors, vocal coaches, yoga instructors, aerobics instructors and acting coaches to fill its education calendar for summer and fall. For details, call 825-1164, ext. 16.

HIGH SCHOOLERS FOR PETER PAN The High School Summer Musical Theatre Experience seeks tumblers and gymnasts, orchestra musicians, actors, singers, dancers and technicians for its production of “Peter Pan,” running July 27-Aug. 5.

Auditions are held from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. on April 28 and 29 at Wilson Center for the Arts, FSCJ South Campus, 11901 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. 646-2347.

ST. AUGUSTINE MUSICAL SEEKS ACTORS Auditions are held for the interactive musical comedy “Bingo the Winning Musical” at 11 a.m. on April 22 at Limelight

Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine. The cast calls for six females (ages 20-60) and one male (40s). Bring 16 bars of an up-tempo, Broadway-style song (no ballads), a recent headshot and résumé. The production runs from June 8-July 1. 825-1164.

FW ART SHOW SEEKS SUBMISSIONS The Folio Weekly Invitational Artist Exhibit seeks submissions of original works of art (paintings, photographs, works on paper, sculptures, mixed media) from May 21-June 10. Submit no more than three (3) pieces. Works are not to exceed 6’ tall x 4’ wide. Signed, hard copies or in-person deliveries will not be accepted. Digital images of the completed work of art, with artist information (email/mail/phone, along with title/ dimensions/media/date for each piece), must be submitted to submissions@folioweekly.com. The show is held from Aug. 24-Dec. 2 at the Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens.

260-9770 ext. 128.

CLASSICAL & JAZZ

EXOTIC JOURNEYS The Jacksonville University Orchestra performs Rimsky-Korsakov’s “Scheherazade” at 7:30 p.m. on April 24 at JU’s Terry Concert Hall, 2800 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. 256-7677.

CIRQUE DE LA SYMPHONIE Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra is joined by a troupe of acrobats, dancers, contortionists and strongmen at 7:30 p.m. on April 26, at 8 p.m. on April 27 and 28 and at 3 p.m. on April 28 at the T-U Center for the Performing Arts’ Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $16-$70. 354-5547.

BAROQUE KEYBOARD RECITAL Pianist Rosalind Elson performs works by Frescobaldi, Purcell and Rameau at 2:30 p.m. on April 26 at FSCJ’s South Campus, Building N Music Auditorium, 11910 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. 646-2004.

JAZZ AT JAZZLAND The Ray Love Trio performs at 8 p.m. on April 27 and The Kenny MacKenzie Trio performs at 8 p.m. on April 28 at The Jazzland Café, 1324 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. Admission each night is $10. 249-1009.

PEDAL STEEL PERFORMANCE Pedal steel player Bill Fleming plays at 10:45 a.m. on April 29 at Unitarian Universalist Church, 7405 Arlington Expressway, Jacksonville. 725-8133.

ST. GEORGE’S DAY FESTIVAL CHORAL EVENSONG The Choir of St. John’s Cathedral is joined by The Cathedral Brass and the Jacksonville Bagpipes and Drums in this concert featuring works by Philip Moore, John Barnard and Herbert Sumison at 5 p.m. on April 29 at St. John’s Cathedral, 256 E. Church St., Jacksonville. 356-5507.

JOHN THOMAS GROUP Pianist Thomas and bassist Ernie Ealum perform at 6 p.m. on May 1 at Culhane’s Irish Pub, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 249-9595.

JAZZ IN RIVERSIDE Live jazz is featured at 7 p.m. every Thur. at Kickbacks Gastropub, 910 King St., Jacksonville. 388-9551.

JAZZ AT TREE STEAKHOUSE Boril Ivanov Trio plays at 7 p.m. every Thur. and pianist David Gum plays at 7 p.m. every Fri. at Tree Steakhouse, 11362 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville. 262-0006.

JAZZ AT GENNARO’S Live jazz at 7:30 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at Gennaro’s Ristorante Italiano, 5472 First Coast Highway, Fernandina Beach. 491-1999.

JAZZ IN ST. AUGUSTINE Live jazz is featured at 7 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at Rhett’s Piano Bar & Brasserie, 66 Hypolita St., St. Augustine. 825-0502.

ART WALKS & FESTIVALS

NINTH ANNUAL ARTS IN THE PARK This festival, held from 11 a.m.-6 p.m. at Johansen Park, 1300 Seminole Road, Atlantic Beach, features more than 85 arts & crafts vendors, food and drink, kids’ activities and live music. Bring blankets, lawn chairs and picnic baskets. 247-5828. coab.us/artsinthepark UPTOWN SATURDAY NIGHT Galleries, antique stores and shops are open from 5-9 p.m. on April 28 in St. Augustine’s San Marco District. 824-3152.

MID-WEEK MARKET Arts & crafts, local produce and live music are featured every Wed. from 3-6 p.m. at Bull Memorial Park, corner of East Coast Drive and Seventh Street, Atlantic Beach. 247-5800.

DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts & crafts and local produce are offered every Fri. from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Drive. 353-1188.

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET The Arts Market is held from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. every Sat. beneath the Fuller Warren Bridge on Riverside Avenue, Jacksonville and features local and regional artists, strolling performers, bands and a farmers market. Admission is free. 554-6865, 389-2449. riversideartsmarket.com

MUSEUMS

AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY 233 S. Third St., Fernandina Beach, 261-7378. The exhibit “FDR to Obama: A Private Collection” is on display through April. The exhibit “The Election Collection” runs through June. The permanent

That ’70s Show: The opening reception for “ReFocus: Art of the 1970s” is held on April 28 from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. at Museum of Contemporary Art, 333 N. Laura St., Jacksonville. The exhibit examines the art movements of the Me Decade, including photorealism (pictured, Richard Estes’ “Untitled (Car Reflection),” (oil on board, 1967, courtesy Marlborough Gallery, New York), earthworks and conceptual art. The show runs through Aug. 26. 366-6911. collection includes artifacts from Nassau County’s Spanish Mission period.

BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY CENTER 413 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville Beach, 241-5657. The exhibit “Jean Ribault and the French in 16th Century Florida: Rare Engravings and Historic Maps from the Michael and Dr. Linda Fisher Collection,” is on display through June 9.

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., Jacksonville, 356-6857. The exhibit “Impressionism and Post Impressionism from the High Museum of Art” is on display through May 6. “Richard Chamberlain: The Year of the Sheep” is displayed through July 8. “Beyond Ukiyo-e: Japanese Woodblock Prints and their influence on Western Art” runs through Aug. 9. “50 Forward: New Additions to the Permanent Collection” is on display through Aug. 15.

KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Jacksonville, 356-2992. New works in watercolor and oil by Leigh Murphy are on display through April 27. “Civil War: The Beginning,” an exhibit of original letters and documents, is displayed through April 25. The permanent collection includes rare manuscripts. Open Tue.-Fri., 10 a.m.-3 p.m.; Sat. from 10 a.m.-4 p.m.

MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Jacksonville, 366-6911. The opening reception for the exhibit “ReFocus: Art of the 1970s” is held from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. on April 28. The exhibit is displayed through Aug. 26. Painter Carrie Ann Baade’s “Solar Midnight” is displayed through May 27. The exhibit “Rainbow Artists,” featuring work created by autistic children from MOCA’s Rainbow Artists program, is featured through May 27. “Project Atrium: Mark Licari” runs through July 8.

RITZ THEATRE & MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., Jacksonville, 632-5555. An exhibit celebrating local African-American athletes and sports figures, “More Than a Game: AfricanAmerican Sports in Jacksonville, 1900-1975,” is currently on display. Admission is $8 for adults, $5 for children, students and seniors. Open Tue.-Sun.

GALLERIES

ALEXANDER BREST MUSEUM & GALLERY Jacksonville University, 2800 N. University Blvd., 256-7371. The BFA Thesis Exhibition is displayed through May 2.

AMELIA ISLAND PLANTATION ARTISTS’ GUILD & GALLERY 94 Village Circle, Fernandina Beach, 432-1750. The show “Spring Fling” runs through April. Artwork inspired by the annual Shrimp Festival is on display through May 12.

AVONDALE ARTWORKS 3568 St. Johns Ave., Jacksonville, 384-8797. Recent works by Carole Mehrtens, Charlene Cross, Cookie Davis, Ken Stutes, Mac Truque, Myra Schick, Suzanne Strock, Ted Head and Trace Turner are on display through April.

THE ART CENTER PREMIERE GALLERY Bank of America Tower, 50 N. Laura St., Jacksonville, 355-1757. The group show “Space” is displayed through May 17.

BUTTERFIELD GARAGE ART GALLERY/BUTTERFIELD GARAGE TOO 137/137-C King St., St. Augustine, 825-4577, 829-0078. Recent work in stitching, weaving and dyeing by artists from FAN, the Fiber Artist Network, is featured through April 28.

CAMPUS GALLERY FSCJ North Campus, 4501 Capper Road, Jacksonville, 632-3310. The Jacksonville Watercolor Society Spring Show is featured through April 27.

THE CULTURAL CENTER AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-0614. An exhibit of recent works by the Jacksonville Coalition for Visual Arts is on display through May 25.

FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928. The exhibit “Wild Florida,” featuring works by wildlife photographer Michael Cenci, is displayed through May 14.

HASTINGS BRANCH LIBRARY Historic Hastings High School Building, 6195 S. Main St., Hastings, 827-6970. Recent work

by Gail Prevatt is featured through April 28.

JAXPORT GALLERY 2831 Talleyrand Ave., Jacksonville, 357-3052. An exhibit featuring works from “A Brush with Nature” is on display through May 12.

J. JOHNSON GALLERY 177 Fourth Ave. N., Jacksonville Beach, 435-3200. The exhibit “Tripping the Line Fantastic,” featuring drawings by Tony Orrico and Barbara Sorenson, is on display through June 8.

P.A.ST.A FINE ARTS GALLERY 214 Charlotte St., St. Augustine, 824-0251. An exhibit of recent pen-and-ink drawings by Joseph Calabria is shown through April.

PLUM GALLERY 9 Aviles St., St. Augustine, 825-0069.

The exhibit “Spring Show,” featuring works by Angelika S. Luginbuhl, John Beard, Rebecca Mutz, Susanna RichterHelman and Karen Sheridan, is featured through April.

ROTUNDA GALLERY St. Johns County Admin. Bldg., 500 San Sebastian View, St. Augustine, 471-9980. The exhibit “Regional Artists from the Tail End of St. Johns County,” featuring works

by A.E. (Beanie) Backus, Joe Taylor, Charles Dickinson and Eddie White, is featured through May 6.

SIMPLE GESTURES GALLERY 4 E. White St., St. Augustine, 827-9997. Eclectic works by Steve Marrazzo are featured.

SOUTH GALLERY FSCJ’s South Campus, 11901 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville, 646-2023. The Florida State College at Jacksonville Annual Student Exhibit runs through April 27.

SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 6 E. Bay St., Jacksonville, 553-6361.

Tony Wood is the featured artist for April.

SPACE:EIGHT GALLERY 228 W. King St., St. Augustine, 829-2838. Mitch O’Connell’s exhibit “Good Times” is displayed through May 30.

ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., St. Augustine, 824-2310. The opening reception for the third annual “Nature & Wildlife Exhibition,” held from 4-7 p.m. on April 28, features hors d’oeuvres, French wines and gypsy jazz music. Tickets are $40 and include a 20 percent art purchase discount. Proceeds benefit the Audubon Society and St. Augustine Art Association’s educational and outreach programs. The show is on display through May 27.

ST. JOHNS CULTURAL COUNCIL 370 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine, 471-9980. “Music Movement and Signs” is on display through May 22.

STELLERS GALLERY AT PONTE VEDRA 240 A1A N., Ste. 13, Ponte Vedra Beach, 273-6065. An exhibit of recent paintings

by Laura Lacambra Shubert and Sabre Esler are featured through May 14.

STUDIO 121 121 W. Forsyth St., Ste. 100, Jacksonville, 292-9303. This artist cooperative features work by Tony Wood, Mary St. Germain, Terese Muller, Robert Leedy, Paul Ladnier, Joyce Gabiou and Doug Eng. WEST GALLERY CoRK Arts District, 2689 Rosselle St., Jacksonville, 485-6692. The exhibit “On Mediation,” featuring works by Devin Balara, Judith Gammon, Travis Flack, Aaron Garvey, Christine Sun Kim, Austin Moule and TSOSTC, is featured through May. W.B. TATTER STUDIO GALLERY 76 A San Marco Ave., St. Augustine, 823-9263. The opening reception for the exhibit “Remembering Sue Burdan” is held from 5-9 p.m. on April 28. Proceeds benefit the artist’s family and St. Johns County Horse Council.

For a complete list of galleries, log on to folioweekly.com. To list your event, send info – time, date, location (street address, city), admission price and contact number to print – to Dan Brown, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 or email dbrown@folioweekly.com. Events are included on a space-available basis.

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JACKIE KNIGHT’S COMEDY CLUB Pedro Lima and Clay Robertson appear at 8:30 p.m. on May 4 and 5 at 3009 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd., St. Augustine. Tickets are $8 and $12.

461-8843.

LATITUDE 30 Jason Hunter appears at 8 p.m. on April 27 and 28 at Latitude 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., Jacksonville.

Tickets are $13. 365-5555.

NATURE, SPORTS, OUTDOORS

Fly Away! The 11th annual Butterfly Festival is held from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. on April 28 at Tree Hill Nature Center, 7152 Lone Star Road, Jacksonville. The event features a live butterfly exhibit, arts and crafts, live entertainment, a raffle, activities, live animals and food and drink. The live butterfly release is held at 3:30 p.m. Admission is $5; $4 for senior/military/students and $3 for kids. 724-4646. treehill.org

EVENTS

CENTRAL PARK JOGGER The Women, Words & Wisdom speaker series concludes with author Trisha Meili at 6:30 p.m. on May 1 at Theatre Jacksonville, 2032 San Marco Blvd., downtown. Meili discusses her book, “I Am the Central Park Jogger: A Story of Hope and Possibility.” Tickets are $40. Proceeds benefit Expanded Horizons, a Women’s Center of Jacksonville literacy program for women. 722-3000. womenscenterofjax.org EMPOWERMENT SUMMIT Jacksonville Urban League holds its fifth annual empowerment summit from 9 a.m.-1 p.m. on April 25 at 903 W. Union St., downtown. Workshops on character building, financial literacy and how to get and keep a job are offered.

This is a chance for youth to enroll in JUL summer camp activities. 366-3473, 356-8336. jaxul.org DINING OUT FOR LIFE Northeast Florida AIDS Network holds its annual fundraising event on April 26. Participating restaurants donate a portion of proceeds to AIDS research and services, including stocking NFAN’s food pantry, to those living with HIV/ AIDS in Northeast Florida. Participating restaurants include Carmine’s Pie House, Secret Garden Café, Intuition Ale Works, Matthew’s Restaurant, Espeto Brazilian Steakhouse, Pizza Palace on Park, Pizza Palace Baymeadows, North Beach Bistro, Mossfire, O’Brothers Pub, Biscottis, Joseph’s Pizza, Applebee’s St. John’s Town Center and The Brick.

356-1612. nfanjax.org EXZOOBERATION The Jacksonville Zoo hosts its 17th annual adult gala fundraising event with cocktails, hors d’oeuvres and live music at 6:30 p.m. on April 28 at the Zoo, 370 Zoo Parkway, Jacksonville. Tickets start at $50 for ages 35 and younger; $125 for ages 36-plus. jacksonvillezoo.org or 757-4463 ext. 196.

A TASTE OF ST. AUGUSTINE The 16th annual Taste of St. Augustine is held from noon-8 p.m. on April 28 at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340C A1A S., St. Augustine. St. Augustine area restaurants offer samples of their dishes, as well as wine and beer from local breweries and wineries. Live music is featured. Admission is $5; taste tickets are $1 each. Proceeds benefit EPIC Community Services. 829-3295. epiccommunityservices.org The Race to the Taste 5K starts at 4:30 p.m. racetothetaste.org COSMIC CONCERTS Laser shows include Laser Mania at 7 p.m., LaseRetro at 8 p.m., Laser Vinyl at 9 p.m. and Laser Led Zeppelin at 10 p.m. on April 27 in Bryan-Gooding Planetarium, at Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville. Online tickets are $5. 396-7062. moshplanetarium.org

POLITICS, BUSINESS, ACTIVISM

AIFBY CHAMBER OF COMMERCE The quarterly luncheon is held from 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m. on April 24 at Fernandina Beach Golf Club, 2800 Bill Melton Road, Fernandina Beach.

Steven Grossman, executive director of Jacksonville Aviation Authority, discusses “JAA: An Economic Engine for Northeast Florida.” Admission is $18 for Chamber members, $25 for non-members. 261-3248. aifby.com CHAMBER AFTER HOURS Ponte Vedra Chamber of Commerce meets at 5:30 p.m. on April 25 at Manormor

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Sotheby’s International Realty, 1300 Marsh Landing Parkway, Ste. 107, Jax Beach. Admission is free for members and first-time guests. 285-2004.

SOUTHSIDE BUSINESS MEN’S CLUB Jay Cann of the Youth Achiever Program Golf Tournament, is the featured speaker at 11:30 a.m. on April 25 at San Jose Country Club, 7529 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville. Admission is $20. For reservations, call 396-5559.

UNF SMALL BUSINESS CLASS The class 8(a) Essentials is held from 9:30-11:30 a.m. on April 25 at Small Business Development Center at University of North Florida, 12000 Alumni Dr., Jacksonville. Cost is $40. Where’s the Money?

And How Do I Get It? is held from 6-9 p.m. on May 3; fee of $40 in advance or $50 day of workshop. 620-2476. sbdc.unf.edu JACKSONVILLE JOURNEY The oversight committee of this crime-fighting initiative meets at 4 p.m. on May 17 in Eighth Floor Conference Room 851, Ed Ball Building, 214 N. Hogan St., Jacksonville. 630-7306.

BOOKS & WRITING

TIM O’BRIEN Pulitzer Prize winner O’Brien reads from his book “The Things They Carried” at 3 p.m. on April 26 in University of North Florida’s Student Union Ballroom, Bldg. 58 W., 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville. Admission is free.

620-2102.

STUART WOODS Bestselling author Woods talks about and signs copies of his new book, “Unnatural Acts,” at 7 p.m. on April 28 at The BookMark, 200 First St., Neptune Beach.

241-9026.

ROMANCE AUTHORS Ancient City Romance Authors present technology guru Kellie Sharpe, who discusses “Taking the Fear & Loathing Out of Twitter,” at 12:30 p.m. on April 28 at Village Bread Café, 10111 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville. acrarwa.org KLARQUE GARRISON Author Garrison signs copies of his book, “How to Survive the Next 365: Your Lifeline to a Better Life,” from 6-9 p.m. on April 28 at Poppy Love Smoke, 112 E. Adams St., Jacksonville. The panel discussion topic is “Creating a Better You.” Admission is $5. 236-1114.

ANNETTE SIMON Children’s author Simon signs copies of her new book, “Robot Zombie Frankenstein!” at 3 p.m. on April 29 at The BookMark, 200 First St., Neptune Beach. The launch party features prizes and treats. 241-9026.

MANDARIN BIATHLON The fifth annual biathlon starts at 7:30 a.m. on April 28 at Walter Jones Historical Park, 11964 Mandarin Road, Jacksonville. Racers kayak around Mandarin Point to Mandarin Regional Park and run back to Walter Jones Historical Park. The route passes historic sites including the wreck of the Civil War steamboat Maple Leaf.

The kayak portion is 5.78 miles, the run/walk portion is 3.9 miles. Kayaks can be rented through Black Creek Outfitters; call 645-7003. Individual registration is $60. 268-0784.

BUTTERFLY FESTIVAL The 11th annual Butterfly Festival is held from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. on April 28 at Tree Hill Nature Center, 7152 Lone Star Road, Jacksonville. A live butterfly exhibit, arts & crafts, live entertainment, a raffle, live animals and food and drink are featured. The live butterfly release is at 3:30 p.m. Admission is $5; $4 for senior/military/students and $3 for kids. 724-4646. treehill.org ROLLER DERBY The inaugural Red vs. Blue bout includes Tri-County Rolling Militia, Palm Coast Roller Derby, Space Coast Roller Girls and Dub City Roller Girls at 6 p.m. on April 29 at Orange Park Skate Station, 238 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park. Tickets are $10 in advance; $12 at the door. proceeds benefit the Fraternal Order of Police in Clay County, for the Fallen and Injured Heroes program. 993-8868. tcrmrollerderby.com BIRDING & PHOTOFEST The annual Florida Birding & PhotoFest continues along the coast through April 29.

Workshops, exhibits and kayak tours led by Ripple Effect Eco Tours and boat tours led by St. Augustine Eco Tours are featured. The event headquarters is Whitney Lab’s Center for Marine Studies, 9505 Ocean Shore Blvd., St. Augustine.

(800) 653-2489.

JACKSONVILLE SUNS The local Southern League team begins its first homestand against the Pensacola Blue Wahoos at 7:05 p.m. on April 25 at the Baseball Grounds, 301 Randolph Blvd., Jacksonville. Games continue at 7:35 p.m. on April 26, at 7:05 p.m. on April 27, at 6:05 p.m. on April 28 and at 3:05 p.m. on April 29. Tickets are $7.50$22.50. 358-2846. jaxsuns.com NATIVE PLANTS Spring Into Native Plants is held from 10 a.m.-2:30 p.m. on April 28 at University of North Florida’s Student Union Auditorium, 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville.

Principles of landscape design are discussed and a tour of the Sawmill Slough Preserve is offered. Admission is free.

655-2550.

KIDS

INTERNATIONAL ASTRONOMY DAY Multimedia presentations, family-friendly activities, telescope solar viewing on the rooftop, and discussions are featured from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. on April 28 at Museum of Science & History and the Bryan-Gooding Planetarium, 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville. Russell Romanella, of NASA’s Kennedy Space

Center, discusses “NASA – Exploration at a Crossroad,” at 1 p.m. Admission is $10 for adults; $8 for active/ retired military, seniors and kids ages 3-12. 396-6674. moshplanetarium.org FIRST COAST KIDS TRIATHLON The fourth annual event kicks off with a packet pickup at 4 p.m. and a pep rally at 5:30 p.m. on April 28 at University of North Florida, 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville. The swim, bike and run events start at 7:30 a.m. on April 29. firstcoastkidstriathlon.com

COMMUNITY INTEREST

DENIM DAY To raise awareness of sexual violence, Betty Griffin House holds Wear Denim Day on April 25. If you or someone you know is being abused, call the hotline at 8241555. bettygriffinhouse.org TM LECTURE A free introductory Transcendental Meditation talk is held at 6:30 p.m. on April 26 at Regency Square Library, 9900 Regency Square Blvd., Jacksonville. 375-9517. tm.org/jacksonville CHURCHWIDE GARAGE SALE Lakewood Presbyterian Church holds this sale from 8:30 a.m.-3 p.m. on April 28 at the church, 2001 University Blvd. W., Jacksonville. Admission is free. Proceeds benefit the Youth Montreat and mission trips. 733-8055. LPCjax.org

CLASSES & GROUPS

DIZZINESS SUPPORT GROUP This group, for those with Meniere’s disease, positional vertigo or any dizziness, gathers at 7 p.m. on April 24 at Mandarin Presbyterian Church’s West Campus Rm. 9, 12001 Mandarin Rd., Jacksonville. 292-9777. doctorknox.com BUDDHIST CENTER Prayers for World Peace are from 10-11:30 a.m. every Sun. at Maitreya Kadampa Buddhist Center, 85 Sailfish Dr., Atlantic Beach. Meditation is held at 7 p.m. every Mon. Chanted prayers and meditations are at 7 p.m. every Wed. 222-8531. Meditation and Practical Buddhist Teaching is at 6:30 p.m. every Mon. at Discovery Yoga, 3 Davis St., St. Augustine, 222-8531. Fee is $9; $5 for students. Meditations for Relaxation and Healing is at 12:15 p.m. every Wed. at The Elements, 12795 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville, 619-1587. Fee is $5.

MeditationInJacksonville.org Q-GROUP ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS This free, open discussion is held at 5:30 p.m. Mon.-Fri. at Quality Life Center, 11265 Alumni Way, Jacksonville. alcoholicanonymous.org DEPRESSION AND BIPOLAR SUPPORT ALLIANCE This support group meets from 6-7:30 p.m. every Tue. at Baptist Medical Center, 800 Prudential Drive, Jacksonville. For more information, call 616-6264 or 294-5720.

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Do you have a drug problem?

Maybe they can help. 358-6262, 723-5683. serenitycoastna. org, firstcoastna.org NAR-A-NON This group meets at 8 p.m. every Tue. and Thur. at 4172 Shirley Ave., Avondale. 945-7168.

To get listed here, email the time, date, location (street address, city) admission price and contact number to print to events@folioweekly.com or click the link in our Happenings section at folioweekly.com. Items are included on a spaceavailable basis.

COMEDY

BILL COSBY The winner of 2009’s Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, “Cos” appears at 2 p.m. on April 29 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets start at $42. 6323373. artistseriesjax.org KEVIN POLLAK Allstars at 8 p.m. on April 24 and 25. Kevin Pollak appears at 8 p.m. on April 26 and at 8 and 10 p.m. on April 27 and 28 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Road, Ramada Inn, Jacksonville. Tickets are $20 and $25. Chris Kattan appears on May 3, 4 and 5. 292-4242.

COMEDY FOR CRITTERS Mad Cowford Improv is on at 7:30 p.m. on April 28 at Hotel Indigo, 9840 Tapestry Park Circle, Southside. Tickets are $10 in advance; $12 at the door.

Proceeds benefit American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals and First Coast No More Homeless Pets. 608-1148.

“Sorry, Junior, but that planet you thought you’d discovered appears to be bean dip smeared on the lens of the telescope!” Museum of Science & History and the Bryan-Gooding Planetarium present International Astronomy Day on April 28 from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. at 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville. This celebration offers multimedia presentations, family-friendly activities, telescope solar viewing on the rooftop, and discussions, including Russell Romanella, of NASA’s Kennedy Space Center, speaking on the topic of “NASA – Exploration at a Crossroad,” at 1 p.m. Admission is $10 for adults; $8 for active/retired military, seniors and kids ages 3-12. 396-6674. moshplanetarium.org

Average Entrée Cost: $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer, Wine FB = Full Bar CM = Children’s Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast L = Lunch D = Dinner F = Folio Weekly distribution point Send changes to mdryden@folioweekly.com

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH, YULEE

(In Fernandina Beach unless otherwise noted.)

THE BEECH STREET GRILL Fine dining in a casual atmosphere. The menu includes fresh local seafood, steaks and pasta dishes created with a variety of ethnic influences.

Award-winning wine list. FB. L, Wed.-Fri.; D, nightly; Sun. brunch. 801 Beech St. 277-3662. $$$ BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ F At the foot of Centre Street, the upscale restaurant overlooks the Harbor Marina. The menu includes daily specials, fresh Florida seafood and an extensive wine list. FB. L & D, daily. 1 S. Front St. 261-2660. $$$ BRIGHT MORNINGS The small café offers freshly baked goods. B & L daily. 105 S. Third St. 491-1771. $$ CAFÉ 4750 Chef de Cuisine Garrett Gooch offers roasted sea bass, frutti di mare soup, clam linguini, fresh gelatos. Dine inside or on the terrace. FB. B, L & D, daily. The Ritz-Carlton, 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., Amelia Island. 277-1100. $$$ CAFÉ KARIBO F Eclectic cuisine, served under the oaks in historic Fernandina, features sandwiches and chef’s specials.

Alfresco dining. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sat.; L, Sun. & Mon. 27 N. Third St. 277-5269. $$ CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY F European-style breads, pastries, croissants, muffins and pies baked daily. 1014 Atlantic Ave. 491-4663. $ EIGHT Contemporary sports lounge offers burgers, sandwiches, wings and nachos. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Fri. & Sat. The Ritz-Carlton, 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., Amelia Island.

277-1100. $$ FERNANDELI F Classics with a Southern touch, like a onethird-pound devil dog, Reubens and pulled pork. Sandwiches and wraps built to order from fresh cold cuts, tuna, egg and turkey salads. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 17B S. Eighth St. 261-0008. $ GENNARO’S RISTORANTE ITALIANO F Southern Italian cuisine: pasta, gourmet ravioli, hand-tossed pizzas. Specialties are margharita pizza and shrimp feast. Bread is baked on-site.

CM, BW. L & D, daily. 5472 First Coast Highway, Amelia Island, 491-1999. $$ HALFTIME SPORTS BAR & GRILL F Sports bar fare includes onion rings, spring rolls, burgers, wraps and wings. Plenty of TVs show nearly every sport imaginable. BW. L & D, daily. 320 S. Eighth St. 321-0303. $ HAPPY TOMATO COURTYARD CAFE & BBQ Pulled pork sandwich, chicken salad and walnut chocolate chunk cookie, served in a laid-back atmosphere. BW. CM. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 7 S. Third St. 321-0707. $$ JACK & DIANE’S F Casual cafe offers steak & eggs, pancakes, Cajun scampi, etouffée, curry pizza, vegan black bean cakes, shrimp & grits, hand-carved steaks. FB. B, L & D, daily. 708 Centre St. 321-1444. $$ JOE’S 2ND STREET BISTRO Elegant island atmosphere. NY strip steak with sauces, Maine crab cakes, seafood fricassee and roast chicken penne pasta. BW. CM. D, nightly. 14 S. Second St. 321-2558. $$$ KABUKI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR F Teppanyaki masters create your meal; plus a 37-item sushi bar. BW. D, Tue.-Sun. Amelia Plaza. 277-8782. $$ KELLEY’S COURTYARD CAFE F She crab soup, salads, fried green tomatoes, sandwiches and wraps are served indoors or out on the patio. Vegetarian dishes are also offered. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 19 S. Third St. 432-8213. $ LULU’S AT THE THOMPSON HOUSE F An innovative lunch menu includes po’boys and seafood “little plates” served in a historic house. Dinner features fresh local seafood. Nightly specials. BW. L & D, Tue.-Sat., brunch on Sun. Reservations recommended. 11 S. Seventh St. 432-8394. $$ MONTEGO BAY COFFEE CAFE Locally owned and operated, with specialty coffees, fruit smoothies. Dine in or hit the drivethru. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 463363 S.R. 200, Yulee. 225-3600. $ MOON RIVER PIZZA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Northernstyle pizza by the pie or the slice. Choose from more than 20 toppings. Owner-selected wines and a large beer selection.

BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 925 S. 14th St. 321-3400. $ THE MUSTARD SEED CAFE Organic eatery, juice bar. Extensive menu features vegetarian, vegan items. Daily specials: local seafood, free-range chicken, fresh organic produce. CM. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 833 TJ Courson Rd. 277-3141. $$ O’KANE’S IRISH PUB F Rustic, genuine Irish pub up front, eatery in back, featuring daily specials, fish-n-chips, and soups served in a sourdough bread bowl. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sun. 318 Centre St. 261-1000. $$ PEPPER’S MEXICAN GRILL & CANTINA F The family restaurant offers authentic Mexican cuisine. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 520 Centre St. 272-2011. $$ PICANTE GRILL ROTISSERIE BAR F Flavors of Peru and Latin America are in the dishes served in a modern

atmosphere. Authentic Peruvian cebiche and homestyle empanadas. BW, CM, TO. L & D tue sat. 464073 S.R. 200, Ste. 2, Yulee. 310-9222. $$ PLAE *Bite Club Certified! In Omni Amelia Island Plantation’s Spa & Shops, the cozy venue offers an innovative and PLAEful dining experience. L, Tue.-Sat.; D, nightly. 277-2132. $$$ SALT, THE GRILL Best of Jax 2011 winner. Elegant dining featuring local seafood and produce, served in a contemporary coastal setting. FB. D, Tue.-Sat. The Ritz-Carlton, 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., Amelia Island. 491-6746. $$$$ SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL F Oceanfront dining; local seafood, shrimp, crab cakes, outdoor beachfront tiki & raw bar, covered deck and kids’ playground. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1998 S. Fletcher Ave. 277-6652. $$ THE SURF F Dine inside or on the large oceanview deck.

Steaks, fresh fish, shrimp, nightly specials. Late-night menu.

FB. L & D, daily. 3199 S. Fletcher Ave. 261-5711. $$ TASTY’S FRESH BURGERS & FRIES F The name pretty much says it all. Tasty’s offers burgers (Angus beef, turkey or veggie) and fries (like cheese fries, sweet potato fries), along with dogs, shakes, floats and soup. L & D, Mon.-Sat. CM, BW. 710 Centre St. 321-0409. $ T-RAY’S BURGER STATION F A favorite local spot; Best of Jax 2011 winner. Grilled or blackened fish sandwiches, homemade burgers. BW, TO. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 202 S. Eighth St. 261-6310. $ 29 SOUTH EATS F Part of historic Fernandina Beach’s downtown scene. Award-winning Chef Scotty serves traditional world cuisine with a modern twist. L, Tue.-Sat.; D, Mon.-Sat.; Sun. brunch. 29 S. Third St. 277-7919. $$

Walter Coker

DINING GUIDE KEY

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

EAST COAST BUFFET F A 160+ item Chinese, Japanese, American and Italian buffet. Dine in, take out. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat.; Sun. brunch. 9569 Regency Sq. Blvd. N. 726-9888. $$ KABUTO JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR Steak & shrimp, filet mignon & lobster, shrimp & scallops, a sushi bar, teppanyaki grill and traditional Japanese cuisine. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 10055 Atlantic Blvd. 724-8883. $$$ LA NOPALERA Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Intracoastal.

8818 Atlantic Blvd. 720-0106. $ NERO’S CAFE F Traditional Italian fare, including seafood, veal, beef, chicken and pasta dishes. Weekly specials are lasagna, 2-for-1 pizza and AYCE spaghetti. CM, FB. L, Sun.; D, daily. 3607 University Blvd. N. 743-3141. $$ REGENCY ALE HOUSE & RAW BAR Generous portions and friendly service in a nautical atmosphere. Fresh fish, specialty pastas, fresh oysters and clams. BW. L & D, daily. 9541 Regency Square Blvd. S. 720-0551. $$ TREY’S DELI & GRILL F Fresh food served in a relaxed atmosphere. Burgers, Trey’s Reuben, deli sandwiches, pork, steaks, seafood, pies. Prime rib specials every Fri. night. CM, BW. L & D, Mon.-Fri. 2044 Rogero Rd. 744-3690. $$ UNIVERSITY DINER F The popular diner serves familiar breakfast fare and lunch like meatloaf, burgers, sandwiches: wraps, BLTs, clubs, melts. Daily specials. BW. B & L, Sat. & Sun.; B, L & D, Mon.-Fri. 5959 Merrill Rd. 762-3433. $

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

BISCOTTIS F Mozzarella bruschetta, Avondale pizza, sandwiches, espresso, cappuccino. Revolving daily specials.

B, Tue.-Sun.; L & D, daily. 3556 St. Johns Ave. 387-2060. $$$ THE BLUE FISH RESTAURANT & OYSTER BAR Fresh seafood, steaks and more are served in a casual atmosphere. Halfportions are available. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 3551 St. Johns Ave., Shoppes of Avondale. 387-0700. $$$ BRICK RESTAURANT F Creative all-American fare like tuna tartare, seaweed salad and Kobe burger. Outside dining. FB. L & D, daily. 3585 St. Johns Ave. 387-0606. $$$ THE CASBAH F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Middle Eastern cuisine is served in a friendly atmosphere. BW. L & D, daily.

3628 St. Johns Ave. 981-9966. $$ ESPETO BRAZILIAN STEAK HOUSE F Gauchos carve the meat onto your plate from serving tables. FB. D, Tue.-Sun., closed Mon. 4000 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 40. 388-4884. $$$ THE FOX RESTAURANT F A local landmark 50+ years. Ian & Mary Chase serve classic diner-style fare, homemade desserts.

B & L daily. 3580 St. Johns Ave. 387-2669. $ GINJO SUSHI JAPANESE RESTAURANT New at Shoppes of Avondale, Ginjo serves traditional Japanese fare and sushi.

Sake, BW. L & D, daily. 3620 St. Johns Ave. 388-5688. $$ GREEN MAN GOURMET Organic and natural products, spices, teas, salts, BW. Open daily. 3543 St. Johns Ave. 384-0002. $ MOJO NO. 4 F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches. 3572 St. Johns Ave. 381-6670. $$ ORSAY Best of Jax 2011 winner. The French/American bistro focuses on craftsmanship and service. FB. D, Mon.-Sat.; Brunch & D, Sun. 3630 Park St. 381-0909. $$$ TOM & BETTY’S F A Jacksonville tradition for more than 30 years, Tom & Betty’s serves hefty sandwiches with classic car themes, along with homemade-style dishes. CM, FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4409 Roosevelt Blvd. 387-3311. $$ ’town F Owner Meghan Purcell and Executive Chef Scott Ostrander bring farm-to-table to Northeast Florida, offering

Café Nola serves innovative cuisine in an artsy setting on the first floor of the Museum of Contemporary Art in downtown Jacksonville.

American fare with an emphasis on sustainability. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 3611 St. Johns Ave. 345-2596. $$

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches. 8060 Philips Hwy. 731-4300. $ ANCIENT CITY SUBS Locally owned-and-operated by Andy and Rhonna Rockwell, this St. Augustine-themed sandwich shop, newly relocated to Baymeadows, serves gourmet subs — toasted, pressed or cold — and salads. CM, TO. Mon.-Sat. 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 207. 446-9988. $ BROADWAY RISTORANTE & PIZZERIA F Family-owned&-operated New York-style pizzeria serves hand-tossed, brick-oven-baked pizza, traditional Italian dinners, wings, subs.

Delivery. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 10920 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 3.

519-8000. $$ CAFE CONFLUENCE F The European coffeehouse serves Italian specialty coffees and smoothies, along with paninis, salads and European chocolates. Outdoor dining. BW. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 8612 Baymeadows Rd. 733-7840. $ CHA-CHA’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT F Owner Celso Alvarado offers authentic Mexican fare with 26 combo dinners and specialty dishes including chalupas, enchiladas, burritos.

FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9551 Baymeadows Rd. 737-9903. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F Chicago-style deepdish pizzas, hot dogs, Italian beef dishes from the Comastro family, serving authentic Windy City favorites for 25+ years.

CM, FB. L & D, daily. 8206 Philips Hwy. 731-9797. $$ DEERWOOD DELI & DINER F The ’50s-style diner serves malts, shakes, Reubens, Cubans, burgers, and traditional breakfast items. CM. B & L, daily. 9934 Old Baymeadows Rd. 641-4877. $$ THE FIFTH ELEMENT F Authentic Indian, South Indian and Indochinese dishes made with artistic flair. Lunch buffet includes lamb, goat, chicken, tandoori and biryani items. CM. L & D, daily. 9485 Baymeadows Rd. 448-8265. $$ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F See Orange Park. 8650 Baymeadows Rd. 448-0500. $$ INDIA RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Extensive menu of entrées, clay-oven grilled Tandoori specialties and chicken tandoor, fish, seafood and korma. L, Mon.-Sat., D, daily. 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8. 620-0777. $$ LARRY’S GIANT SUBS F With locations all over Northeast Florida, Larry’s piles subs up with fresh fixins and serves ’em fast. Some Larry’s Subs offer B & W and/or serve breakfast.

CM. L & D, daily. 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9 (Goodby’s Creek), 737-7740; 8616 Baymeadows Rd. 739-2498. larryssubs.com $ LEMONGRASS F Upscale Thai cuisine in a metropolitan atmosphere. Chef Aphayasane’s innovative creations include roast duckling and fried snapper. BW. R. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.Sat. 9846 Old Baymeadows Rd. 645-9911. $$ MANDALOUN MEDITERRANEAN CUISINE *Bite Club Certified! F The Lebanese restaurant offers authentic cuisine:

lahm meshwe, kafta khoshkhas and baked filet of red snapper.

CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9862 Old Baymeadows Rd. 646-1881. $$ NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The organic supermarket offers a full deli and a hot bar with fresh soups, quesadillas, rotisserie chicken and vegan sushi, as well as a fresh juice and smoothie bar. 11030 Baymeadows Rd. 260-2791. $ OMAHA STEAKHOUSE *Bite Club Certified! Center-cut beef, seafood, sandwiches served in an English tavern atmosphere. The signature dish is a 16-ounce bone-in ribeye. Desserts include crème brûlée. FB. L & D, daily. 9300 Baymeadows Rd., Embassy Suites Hotel. 739-6633. $$ PATTAYA THAI GRILLE F Traditional Thai and vegetarian items and a 40-plus item vegetarian menu served in a contemporary atmosphere. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1. 646-9506. $$ PIZZA PALACE F See San Marco. 3928 Baymeadows Rd. 527-8649. $$ STICKY FINGERS F Memphis-style rib house specializes in barbecue ribs served several ways. FB. L & D, daily. 8129 Point Meadows Way. 493-7427. $$ UDIPI CAFE Authentic South Indian vegetarian cuisine. L & D, Tue.-Fri. 8642 Baymeadows Rd. 402-8084. $ VINO’S PIZZA F See Julington. L & D, daily. 9910 Old Baymeadows Rd. 641-7171. $

BEACHES

(In Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

A LA CARTE Authentic New England fare like Maine lobster rolls, fried Ipswich clams, crab or clam cake sandwich, fried shrimp basket, haddock sandwich, clam chowdah, birch beer and blueberry soda. Dine inside or on the deck. TO. L, Fri.-Tue. 331 First Ave. N. 241-2005. $$ AL’S PIZZA F Serving hand-tossed gourmet pizzas, calzones and Italian entrees for more than 21 years. Voted Best Pizza by Folio Weekly readers from 1996-2011. BW. L & D, daily. 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 249-0002. $ ANGIE’S SUBS F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Subs are madeto-order fresh. Serious casual. Wicked good iced tea. 1436 Beach Blvd. 246-2519. $ BEACHSIDE SEAFOOD RESTAURANT & MARKET F The full fresh seafood market serves seafood baskets, fish tacos, oyster baskets, Philly cheesesteaks. Dine indoors or outside. Beach delivery. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 120 S. Third St. 444-8862. $$ BONGIORNO’S PHILLY STEAK SHOP F South Philly’s Bongiorno clan imports Amoroso rolls for Real Deal cheesesteak, Original Gobbler, clubs, wraps, burgers, dogs. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2294 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach. 246-3278. $$ BONO’S PIT BAR-B-Q F Baby back ribs, fried corn, sweet potatoes. BW. L & D, daily. 1307 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach.

270-2666. 1266 S. Third St. 249-8704. bonosbarbq.com $ BUDDHA THAI BISTRO F Authentic Thai dishes made with fresh ingredients using tried-and-true recipes. FB, TO. L & D, daily. 301 10th Ave. N. 372-9149. $$

April 24-30, 2012 | folio weekly | 45

GRILL ME! A WEEKLY Q&A WITH PEOPLE IN THE RESTAURANT BIZ

NAME: Daniel Deleon RESTAURANT: Metro Diner, 1534 N. Third St., Jax Beach BIRTHPLACE: Chicago, Illinois

YEARS IN THE BIZ: 4

Walter Coker

FAVORITE RESTAURANT (other than my own): Fogo de Chao, in Chicago.

FAVORITE COOKING STYLE: Italian.

FAVORITE INGREDIENTS: Fresh everything.

IDEAL MEAL: My mother’s Italian cooking on Sundays.

WOULDN’T EAT IF YOU PAID ME: Clams.

MEMORABLE EXPERIENCE: Opening weekend of Metro Diner in Jax Beach.

INSIDER’S SECRET: Always use only the freshest ingredients.

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: Lots of Jags players frequent all the Metro Diners.

CULINARY GUILTY PLEASURE: All kinds of sweets, specifically cheesecake.

BURRITO GALLERY EXPRESS F Best of Jax 2011 winner.

The Gallery’s kid sister at the beach each is mostly take-out; same great chow, fast service. 1333 N. Third St. 242-8226. $ CAMPECHE BAY CANTINA F Homemade-style Mexican items are fajitas, enchiladas and fried ice cream, plus margaritas. FB. D, nightly. 127 First Ave. N. 249-3322. $$ CASA MARIA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Springfield.

2429 S. Third St. 372-9000. $ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. 320 N. First St. 270-8565. $$ CRAB CAKE FACTORY JAX *Bite Club Certified! F Chef Khan Vongdara presents an innovative menu of seafood dishes and seasonal favorites. FB. L & D daily. 1396 Beach Blvd., Beach Plaza. 247-9880. $$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2011 winner, serving burgers, sandwiches, nachos, tacos, quesadillas and cheese fries. 319 23rd Ave. S. 270-0356. $ CULHANE’S IRISH PUB *Bite Club Certified! Four sisters own and operate the authentic Irish pub, with faves Guinness stew, lamb sliders and fish pie. L, Fri.-Sun.; D, Tue.-Sun.; weekend brunch. FB, CM. 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach.

249-9595. $$ CYCLONES TEX-MEX CANTINA F Freshly made Tex-Mex favorites, including fajitas, enchiladas, tacos, burritos, tamales and taco salad. Lunch combos include Mexican rice and beans. FB. L & D, daily. 1222 S. Third St. 694-0488. $$ DICK’S WINGS F The casual NASCAR-themed place serves 365 varieties of wings. The menu also features half-pound burgers, ribs and salads. BW, TO. L & D daily. 2434 Mayport Road, Atlantic Beach, 372-0298. 311 N. Third St., 853-5004. $ DWIGHT’S The Mediterranean-style bistro features fresh local seafood, filet mignon, mixed grill and an extensive wine list. D, Tue.-Sat. 1527 Penman Rd. 241-4496. $$$$ ENGINE 15 BREWING COMPANY F The Best of Jax 2011 winner serves gastropub fare: soups, salads, flatbreads and sandwiches, like BarBe-Cuban and beer dip. Daily specials. CM, BW. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217. 249-2337. $ EUROPEAN STREET F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See San Marco. 992 Beach Blvd. 249-3001. $ FIONN MacCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT Casual dining with uptown Irish flair, including fish and chips, Guinness beef stew and black-and-tan brownies. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 333 N. First St. 242-9499. $$ THE FISH COMPANY *Bite Club Certified! F Fresh, local seafood is served, including Mayport shrimp, fish baskets and grilled tuna and there’s an oyster bar. L & D, daily. CM, FB. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 12, Atlantic Beach. 246-0123. $$ HOT DOG HUT F Best of Jax 2011 winner. All-beef hot dogs, sausages, hamburgers, crab cakes, beer-battered onion rings and French fries. B. L, daily. 1439 S. Third St. 247-8886. $ ICHIBAN F Three dining areas: teppan or hibachi tables (watch a chef prepare your food), a sushi bar and Westernstyle seating offering tempura and teriyaki. FB, Japanese plum wine. L & D, daily. 675 N. Third St. 247-4688. $$ LYNCH’S IRISH PUB The full-service restaurant offers corned beef & cabbage, Shepherd’s pie, fish-n-chips. 30+ beers on tap. FB. L, Sat. & Sun., D, daily. 514 N. First St. 249-5181. $$ MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Southside. 1080 Third St. N. 241-5600. $ METRO DINER F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See San Marco.

1534 N. Third St. 853-6817. $$ MEZZA LUNA F A Beaches tradition for 20-plus years.

Great food, from gourmet wood-fired pizzas to contemporary American cuisine. Inside or patio dining. Extensive wine list. CM, FB. D, Mon.-Sat. 110 First St., Neptune Beach. 249-5573. $$$ MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT & BLUES BAR F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Traditional slow-cooked Southern barbecue served in

46 | folio weekly | April 24-30, 2012

a blues bar. Faves are pulled pork, Texas brisket, slow-cooked ribs. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1500 Beach Blvd. 247-6636. $$ MONKEY’S UNCLE TAVERN F For 25-plus years, Monkey’s has served pub grub, burgers, sandwiches, seafood and wings.

Dine inside or out on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. 1850 S. Third St. 246-1070. $ NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE F Best of Jax 2011 winner.

Executive Chef Kenny Gilbert’s cuisine features local fare and innovative dishes, served in an island atmosphere. Dine inside or out on the tiki deck. FB. L & D, Wed.-Sun.; D, nightly. 2309 Beach Blvd. 247-3300. $$ NORTH BEACH BISTRO *Bite Club Certified! Casual dining with an elegant touch, like slow-cooked veal osso buco; calypso crusted mahi mahi with spiced plantain chips. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach.

372-4105. $$$ OCEAN 60 A prix fixe menu is offered. Continental cuisine, with fresh seafood, nightly specials and a changing seasonal menu.

Dine in a formal dining room or casual Martini Room. D, Mon.Sat. 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 247-0060. $$$ PACO’S MEXICAN GRILL Serving Baja-style Mexican cuisine, featuring carne asada, tacos, burritos, fish tacos and shrimp burritos. CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 333 N. First St. 208-5097. $ THE PIER RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The oceanfront place offers fresh, local fare. Upstairs, it’s Chef’s Menu, with stuffed flounder, pork tenderloin, appetizers.

Downstairs bar and patio offer casual items, daily drink specials. CM, FB. D, daily; L & D, weekends; brunch, Sun. 412 N. First St. 246-6454. $$ PHILLY’S FINEST F Authentic Philly-style cheesesteaks made with imported Amorosa rolls. Hoagies, wings and pizza ... cold beer, too. FB. L & D, daily. 1527 N. Third St. 241-7188. $$ POE’S TAVERN F American gastropub offers 50+ beers with an emphasis on craft and local/regional selections. Gourmet hamburgers, handcut fries, fish tacos, quesadillas, Edgar’s Drunken Chili and daily fish sandwich special. L & D, daily. FB, CM. 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 241-7637. $$ RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD GRILL F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The Beaches landmark serves grilled seafood with a Cajun/Creole accent. Hand-crafted cold beer. FB. L & D, daily.

207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 241-7877. $$ SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK F Best of Jax ’11 winner. Specialty menu items include signature tuna poke bowl, fresh rolled sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp. Casual, trendy open-air space. FB, TO, CM. L & D, daily. 1018 N. Third St. 372-4456. $$ SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE F Best of Jax 2011 winner. 111 Beach Blvd. 482-1000. $$ SUN DOG STEAK & SEAFOOD *Bite Club Certified! F Eclectic American fare, art deco décor with an authentic diner feel. FB. L & D, daily; Sun. brunch. 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 241-8221. $$ TACOLU BAJA MEXICANA F Fresh, Baja-style Mexican fare, with a focus on fish tacos and tequila, as well as fried cheese, bangin’ shrimp and verde chicken tacos. Valet parking. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 1183 Beach Blvd. 249-8226. $$ VOO-SWAR RESTAURANT & LOUNGE Traditional soul food includes smothered ork chops, collard greens, meatloaf, barbecue, pulled pork. FB, CM. L & D, MOn.-Sat. 51 Roberts St., Atlantic Beach. 713-5551. $ THE WINE BAR The casual neighborhood place has a tapasstyle menu, fire-baked flatbreads and a wine selection. Tue.Sun. 320 N. First St. 372-0211. $$

DOWNTOWN

(The Jacksonville Landing venues are at 2 Independent Drive) ADAMS STREET DELI & GRILL The lunch spot serves wraps,

including grilled chicken, and salads, including Greek salad. L, Mon.-Fri. 126 W. Adams St. 475-1400. $$ BURRITO GALLERY & BAR F Best of Jax 2011 winner.

Southwest cuisine, traditional American salads. Burritos and more burritos. Onsite art gallery. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 21 E. Adams St. 598-2922. $ CAFÉ NOLA AT MOCA JAX On the first floor of Museum of Contemporary Art, Cafe Nola serves shrimp and grits, gourmet sandwiches, fresh fish tacos, homemade desserts. FB. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Thur. 333 N. Laura St. 366-6911 ext. 231. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. The Jacksonville Landing. 354-7747. $$$ CITY HALL PUB A sports bar vibe: 16 big-screen HDTVs. Angus burgers, dogs, sandwiches, AYCE wings buffet. FB. Free downtown area lunch delivery. L & D, daily. 234 Randolph Blvd.

356-6750. $$ DE REAL TING CAFE F The popular restaurant offers a Caribbean lunch buffet Tue.-Fri. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 128 W. Adams St. 633-9738. $ FIONN MacCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT New location.

See Beaches. FB, CM. L & D, daily. The Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176. 374-1247. $$ INDOCHINE Best of Jax 2011 winner. Serving Thai and Southeast Asian cuisine in the core of downtown. Signature dishes include favorites like chicken Satay, soft shell crab, and mango and sticky rice for dessert. BW, FB, TO. L, Mon.-Fri., D, Tue.-Sat. 21 E. Adams St. 598-5303. $$ JENKINS QUALITY BARBECUE Family-owned-and-operated.

Jenkins offers beef, pork, chicken, homemade desserts. L & D, daily. 830 N. Pearl St. 353-6388. $ TRELLISES HYATT REGENCY The American cuisine restaurant offers a breakfast buffet with made-to-order omelet station and a la carte items. Signature lunch and dinner entrees include grouper salad, Angus burgers, Reubens, French onion grilled cheese, seafood and steaks. Wed. night Pastabilities.

CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 225 East Coastline Dr. 634-4540. $$$ KOJA SUSHI F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Sushi, Japanese, Asian and Korean cuisine. Indoor and outdoor dining and bar.

FB. L & D, daily. The Jacksonville Landing. 350-9911. $$ NORTHSTAR SUBSTATION F This place features brick-ovenbaked pizzas, grinders, wings, Philly cheesesteaks, custom sandwiches and fries served in a laid-back setting. FB, 27 beers on draft. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 119 E. Bay St. 860-5451. $ OLIO MARKET F Freshly prepared sandwiches, salads, soups and entrées. In the Churchwell Lofts building, Olio partners eclectic tastes with Old World ambiance in a casual renovated space. L, Mon.-Fri.; late Art Walk. 301 E. Bay St. 356-7100. $$ SKYLINE DINING & CONFERENCE CENTER Weekday lunch includes salad bar, hot meals and a carving station. L, Sun. upon request. FB. 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 3550. 791-9797. $$ VITO’S ITALIAN CAFE F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Authentic Italian oven-baked pasta dishes, pizza, veal, chicken and seafood items made with fresh ingredients. CM, FB. L & D, daily. The Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 174. 355-0064. $$ ZODIAC GRILL F Serving Mediterranean cuisine and American favorites, with a popular lunch buffet. FB. L & D, daily. 120 W. Adams St. 354-8283. $

FLEMING ISLAND

CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. 406 Old Hard Road, Ste. 106. 213-7779. $$ GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET F See Riverside. B, L & D, Mon.-Sat.; L, Sun. 1915 East West Pkwy., 541-0009. $ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Intracoastal.

1571 C.R. 220, Ste. 100. 215-2223. $ MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Southside. 1800 Town Center Pkwy. 541-1999. $ MOJO SMOKEHOUSE F Best of Jax 2011 winner. FB. L & D, daily. 1810 Town Ctr. Blvd. 264-0636. $$ WHITEY’S FISH CAMP F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The renowned seafood place, family-owned since 1963, offers AYCE freshwater catfish. Also steaks, pastas. Outdoor waterfront dining. And you can get there by car, boat or bike.

CM, FB. L & D, daily. 2032 C.R. 220. 269-4198. $

INTRACOASTAL

AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches. 14286 Beach Blvd. (at San Pablo Rd.) 223-0991. $ AROY THAI FUSION The new restaurant offers authentic Thai cuisine, including pad Thai, Thai fried rice and traditional curry dishes. Daily happy hour, FB, TO. L & D, daily. 13475 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 40. 374-0161. $$ BIG DAWG’S SPORTS RESTAURANT F The family-friendly casual sports place has wings, burgers, sandwiches, wraps and specialty salads. Kids get a Puppy Chow menu. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 12630 Beach Blvd., Ste. 4. 551-3059. $$ BRUCCI’S PIZZA, PASTA, PANINIS F Authentic New York-style pizza, Italian pastas and desserts in a family atmosphere. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 36. 223-6913. $ CLIFF’S ROCKIN’ BAR-N-GRILL F Cliff’s features 8-ounce burgers, wings, steak, seafood, homemade pizza and daily specials. FB. L & D, daily. Smoking permitted. 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, Cobblestone Plaza. 645-5162. $$ EL RANCHITO Latin American cuisine includes dishes from Colombia, Cuba and Mexico. BW, CM, TO. L & D, daily. 14333

Beach Blvd., Ste. 22. 992-4607. $$ GOOD FOOD COMPANY The fine-dining restaurant and full-service catering company emphasizes using quality raw ingredients to create menus based on local, seasonal and organic products, served in an elegant atmosphere. L & D, Tue.-Sat. 13475 Atlantic Blvd. 329-2407. $$ ISTANBUL MEDITERRANEAN & ITALIAN CUISINE F A varied menu offers European cuisine including lamb, beef and chicken dishes, as well as pizza and wraps. BW. L & D, daily.

13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 26. 220-9192. $$ JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE & STEAKHOUSE F The menu includes wings, hamburgers, Ahi tuna and handcut steaks. CM, FB. Daily. 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 22. 220-6766. $ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Family-ownedand-operated, serving authentic Mexican cuisine, like tamales, fajitas, pork tacos, in a casual family atmosphere. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 14333 Beach Blvd. 992-1666. $ MILANO’S RESTAURANT & PIZZERIA Homemade Italian cuisine, breads, pizzas, calzones and specialty dishes. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 12620 Beach Blvd., Ste. 4. 646-9119. $$ MY MOCHI FROZEN YOGURT See St. Johns Town Center.

13546 Beach Blvd., Ste. 1A. 821-9880. $ THAI ORCHID F The restaurant serves authentic Thai cuisine made with fresh ingredients, including pad Thai, Thai curry dishes and rice dishes. BW. L & D, daily. 12620 Beach Blvd., Ste. 4. 683-1286. $$ TIME OUT SPORTS GRILL F Wings, gourmet pizza, fresh seafood and specialty wraps. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Sat. & Sun. 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5. 223-6999. $$

JULINGTON, NW ST. JOHNS

BLACKSTONE GRILLE The menu blends flavors from a variety of cultures and influences for modern American fusion cuisine, served in a bistro-style setting. FB. L & D, Mon.-Fri., D, Sat.; Sun. brunch. 112 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 102. 287-0766. $$$ BRUCCI’S PIZZA F See Intracoastal. 540 S.R. 13, Ste. 10, Fruit Cove. 287-8317. $$ HAPPY OURS SPORTS GRILLE F Wings, big salads, burgers, wraps and sandwiches. Sports events on HDTVs. CM, FB. 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101. 683-1964. $ PIZZA PALACE F See San Marco. 116 Bartram Oaks Walk.

230-2171. $ VINO’S PIZZA Vino’s Pizza – with four Jacksonville locations – makes all their Italian and American dishes with fresh ingredients. L & D, daily. 605 S.R. 13, Ste. 103. 230-6966. $ WAKAME JAPANESE & THAI CUISINE F The fine dining restaurant offers authentic Japanese and Thai cuisine, including a full sushi menu, curries and pad dishes. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 104 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 108. 230-6688. $$

MANDARIN

AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches. 11190 San Jose Blvd. 260-4115. $ AW SHUCKS F The seafood place offers an oyster bar, steaks, seafood, wings, pasta. Faves: ahi tuna, shrimp & grits, oysters Rockefeller. Sweet potato puffs are the signature side. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9743 Old St. Augustine Rd. 240-0368. $$ THE BLUE CRAB CRABHOUSE F A Maryland-style crabhouse featuring fresh blue crabs, garlic crabs, and king, snow and Dungeness crab legs. FB, CM. D, Tue.-Sat.; L & D, Sun. 3057 Julington Creek Rd. 260-2722. $$ BRAZILIAN JAX CAFE Authentic Brazilian dishes include steaks, sausages, chicken, fish, burgers and hot sandwiches made with fresh ingredients. Traditional feijoada (black beans and pork stew with rice, collards, orange salad and toasted yucca flour with bacon) is served every Sat. TO. B, L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9825 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 20. 880-3313. $$ BROOKLYN PIZZA F The traditional pizzeria serves New York-style pizza, specialty pies, and subs, strombolis and calzones. BW. L & D, daily. 11406 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 288-9211. 13820 St. Augustine Rd., 880-0020. $ CLARK’S FISH CAMP F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Clark’s has steak, ribs, AYCE catfish dinners, 3-pound prime rib.

Dine in, out or in a creek-view glass-enclosed room. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Sat. & Sun. 12903 Hood Landing Rd. 268-3474. $$ DON JUAN’S RESTAURANT F Authentic Mexican dishes prepared daily from scratch, served in a casual atmosphere.

FB, CM. L & D, daily. 12373 San Jose Blvd. 268-8722. $$ GIGI’S RESTAURANT Breakfast buffet daily, lunch buffet weekdays. The Comedy Zone (Best of Jax 2011 winner) has an appetizer menu. FB. B, L & D, daily. I-295 & San Jose Blvd.

(Ramada Inn). 268-8080. $$ (Fri. & Sat. buffet, $$$) HALA CAFE & BAKERY F See Southside. 9735 Old St. Augustine Rd. 288-8890. $$ HARMONIOUS MONKS The American-style steakhouse features a 9-oz. choice Angus center-cut filet topped with gorgonzola shiitake mushroom cream sauce, 8-oz. gourmet burgers, fall-off-the-bone ribs, wraps, sandwiches. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 30.

880-3040. $$ KOBE JAPANESE RESTAURANT The fusion-style sushi restaurant offers oyster shooters, kobe beef shabu-shabu, Chilean sea bass and filet mignon. BW & sake. L & D, daily.

11362 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 8. 288-7999. $$ MAMA FU’S ASIAN HOUSE MSG-free pan-Asian cuisine prepared to order in woks using fresh ingredients. Authentic Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese and Thai dishes. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 11105 San Jose Blvd. 260-1727. $$ MANDARIN ALE HOUSE Laid-back atmosphere; 30-plus beers on tap. FB. L & D, daily. 11112 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 19.

292-0003. $$ METRO DINER F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See San Marco.

12807 San Jose Blvd. 638-6185. $$ NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Organic supermarket with full deli and salad bar serving wraps, quesadillas, chopped salads, vegetarian dishes. Fresh juice and smoothie bar. Indoor and outdoor seating. Mon.-Sat. 10000 San Jose Blvd. 260-6950. $ PICASSO’S PIZZERIA F Specializes in hand-tossed gourmet pizza, calzones, homemade New York-style cheesecake and handmade pasta. Fresh local seafood and steaks. BW, CM, TO. L & D daily. 10503 San Jose Blvd. 880-0811. $$ THE RED ELEPHANT PIZZA & GRILL This casual, familyfriendly eatery serves pizzas, sandwiches, grill specials and pasta dishes. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 10131 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 12. 683-3773. $$ SIMPLE FAIRE F Breakfast and lunch favorites, featuring Boar’s Head meats and cheeses served on fresh bread. Daily specials. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 3020 Hartley Rd. 683-2542. $$ TANK’S FAMILY BAR-B-Q Owned and operated by the Tankersley family, the barbecue place offers made-from-scratch Southern-style fare, featuring their own sauces. CM, BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 11701 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 23. 351-8265. $$ VINO’S PIZZA F See Julington. L & D, daily. 4268 Oldfield Crossing Dr. 268-6660. $ WHOLE FOODS MARKET F 100+ prepared items at a fullservice and self-service hot bar, soup bar, dessert bar. Madeto-order Italian specialties from a brick oven pizza hearth. L & D, daily. 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 22. 288-1100. $$

ORANGE PARK

ARON’S PIZZA F The family-owned restaurant offers eggplant dishes, manicotti and New York-style pizza. BW, CM, TO. L & D daily. 650 Park Ave. 269-1007. $$ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F For 18-plus years, the sports-themed family restaurant has served wings, ribs, entrees, sandwiches.

FB. L & D, daily. 9680 Argyle Forest Blvd. 425-6466. $$ THE HILLTOP CLUB She-crab soup, scallops, prime beef, wagyu beef, chicken Florentine and stuffed grouper. Chef Nick’s salmon is a favorite. FB. D, Tue.-Sat. 2030 Wells Rd. 272-5959. $$ JOEY MOZARELLAS The Italian restaurant’s specialty is a 24-slice pizza: 18”x26” of fresh ingredients and sauces made daily. CM, TO. L & D, daily. 930 Blanding Blvd. 579-4748. $$ PASTA MARKET & CLAM BAR F Family-owned-andoperated. Gourmet pizza, veal, chicken, mussels, shrimp, grouper. The pastas: spaghetti, fettuccine, lasagna, calzones, linguini, ravioli, made with fresh ingredients, homemade-style.

CM, BW, sangria. 1930 Kingsley Ave. 276-9551. D, nightly. $$ POMPEII COAL-FIRED PIZZA F Pizzas are baked in coal-fired ovens. Popular pizzas include Health Choice and Mozzarella.

Coal-fired sandwiches and wings, too. BW. L & D, daily. 2134 Park Ave. 264-6116. $$ THE ROADHOUSE F Burgers, wings, deli sandwiches and popular lunches are served. FB. L & D, daily. 231 Blanding Blvd. 264-0611. $ THAI GARDEN F Traditional Thai cuisine made with fresh ingredients, served in a relaxed atmosphere. Curry dishes and specialty selections with authentic Thai flavors. BW. L, Mon.Fri.; D, nightly. 10 Blanding Blvd., Ste. A. 272-8434. $$

PONTE VEDRA, NE ST. JOHNS

AL’S PIZZA F See Beaches. BW. L & D, daily. 635 A1A. 543-1494. $ AQUA GRILL Upscale cuisine includes fresh seafood, Angus steaks, Maine lobster, vegetarian dishes. Outdoor patio seating. FB. L, Mon.-Sat.; D, nightly. 950 Sawgrass Village Dr. 285-3017. $$$ THE AUGUSTINE GRILLE *Bite Club Certified! Chef Brett Smith’s global cuisine is seasonal and local. Selections include prime steaks, New York strip, lamb and lobster Napoleon.

FB, CM. D, nightly. 1000 PGA Tour Blvd., Sawgrass Marriott.

285-7777. $$$ BRUCCI’S PIZZA F Authentic New York-style pizza, Italian pastas, paninis, desserts. Family atmosphere. CM. L & D, daily.

880 A1A, Ste. 8. 280-7677. $$ CAFFE ANDIAMO Traditional Italian cuisine features fresh seafood, veal, homemade pastas and wood-fired pizza prepared in a copper clad oven. An extensive wine list is offered in a cosmopolitan atmosphere. Dine indoors or Out on the terrace. L & D, daily. 500 Sawgrass Village. 280-2299. $$$ LULU’S WATERFRONT GRILLE F On the Intracoastal Waterway, LuLu’s can be reached by car or by boat. Seafood, steaks and pasta dishes with a sophisticated flair. FB. L & D, daily; Sun. brunch. 301 N. Roscoe Blvd. 285-0139. $$ NINETEEN AT TPC SAWGRASS In Sawgrass’ Tournament Players Club, Nineteen features more than 230 wines and freshly prepared American and Continental cuisine, including local seafood, served inside or al fresco on the verandah. L &

D, daily. 110 Championship Way. 273-3235. $$$ PUSSER’S BAR & GRILLE *Bite Club Certified! F Freshly prepared Caribbean cuisine, including red snapper Ponte Vedra Jamaican grilled pork ribs and barbecued salmon tower.

Tropical rum drinks feature Pusser’s Painkiller. FB. L & D, daily.

816 A1A N., Ste. 100. 280-7766. L, $$; D, $$ RESTAURANT MEDURE Chef Matthew Medure offers eclectic cuisine of local and imported seafood with Southern and Asian influences. F/B. D, Mon.-Sat. 818 A1A N. 543-3797. $$$ RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE Best of Jax 2011 winner. See San Marco. 8141 A1A. 285-0014. $$$$ 619 OCEAN VIEW Dining with a Mediterranean touch, featuring fresh seafood, steaks and nightly specials. FB, CM. D, Wed.-Sun. 619 Ponte Vedra Blvd., Cabana Beach Club.

285-6198. $$$ URBAN FLATS See St. Johns Town Center. FB. L & D, daily.

330 A1A N. 280-5515. $$

RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE

AJ’S ON PARK STREET F AJ’s is a casual barbecue spot serving smoked St. Louis-style ribs, pulled pork, smoked brisket, seafood and dishes made with a Latin touch. L & D, Mon.-Fri. 630 Park St. 359-0035. $$ ALPHADOG GRILL F This fun place in Riverside features gourmet hot dogs — like Ragin’ Cajun (andouille sausage covered in jambalaya) and The Hippie (veggie dog) — and sausages, grilled chicken wraps, soups, salads, appetizers and wings. L & D, daily. BW. 2782 Park St. 374-8715. $ AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches. 1620 Margaret St. 388-8384. $ BAKERY MODERNE F The neighborhood bakery has classic pastries, artisanal breads, seasonal favorites, made from scratch, including petit fours, custom cakes. B & L, daily. 869 Stockton St., Ste. 6. 389-7117. $ BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS The new spot offers artisancrafted, small-batch roasted specialty coffees from its certified organic roastery and brew bar, including lattes, local pastries, craft beers. BW. 869 Stockton St., Stes. 1 & 2. 855-1181. $ CARMINE’S PIE HOUSE F The Italian eatery has pizza by the slice, gourmet pizzas, appetizers, classic Italian dishes (calzone, stromboli, subs, panini) and microbrews in a casual atmosphere. BW, CM, TO. 2677 Forbes St. 387-1400. $$ COOL MOOSE F Classic sandwiches, eclectic wraps and desserts. An extensive gourmet coffee menu with Green Mountain coffees and frozen coffee drinks. B & L, daily.

Brunch, Sun. 2708 Park St. 381-4242. $ EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See San Marco. 2753 Park St. 384-9999. $ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F See Orange Park. 6677 103rd St., Westside, 777-6135. $$ GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET F A deli, organic and natural grocery, and juice & smoothie bar offers teas, coffees, gourmet cheeses; natural, organic and raw items. Grab-andgo sandwiches, salads and sides. Craft beers, organic wines.

B, L & D, Mon.-Sat.; L, Sun. 2007 Park St. 384-4474. $ HJ’S BAR & GRILL Traditional American fare: burgers, sandwiches, wraps and platters of ribs, shrimp and fish. CM, FB. L & D, Sat. & Sun., D, Mon.-Fri. 8540 Argyle Forest Blvd., Ste. 1. 317-2783. $$ HOVAN MEDITERRANEAN GOURMET F Dine inside or on the patio. Mediterranean entrées include lamb, and beef gyros. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 2005-1 Park St. 381-9394. $ JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILL F A Riverside tradition, serving 60+ fresh deli and grill items, including hot sandwiches. L, Mon.Fri. 474 Riverside Ave. 356-8055. $ KICKBACKS GASTROPUB F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The neighborhood spot serves favorites 20 hours a day, every day.

655+ bottled beers, 84 on tap. Outdoor seating. CM. 910 King St. 388-9551. $$ MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BBQ Smoked meats include wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey and ribs. Homemade-style sides include green beans, baked beans, red cole slaw, collards. BW, CM. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551. $$ MOON RIVER PIZZA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Amelia Island. 1176 Edgewood Ave. S. 389-4442. $ MOSSFIRE GRILL F Southwestern menu with ahi tuna tacos, goat cheese enchiladas and gouda quesadillas. Dine inside or on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. 1537 Margaret St. 355-4434. $$ MY MOCHI FROZEN YOGURT See St. Johns Town Center.

1661 Riverside Ave., Ste. 128. 900-1955. $ O’BROTHERS IRISH PUB F Innovative Irish fare and traditional faves are offered, like lambburger with Stilton crust, Guinness mac & cheese, Shepherd’s pie and fish-n-chips — plus 18 beers on tap. L, daily except Mon.; D, daily. CM, FB. 1521 Margaret St. 854-9300. $$ PELE’S WOOD FIRE Chef Micah Windham uses a wood-fired oven to create traditional, authentic Italian fare with a modern twist. FB, TO. L & D, daily. 2665 Park St. 955-1278. $$ PERARD’S PIZZA & ITALIAN CUISINE F Traditional Italian fare with fresh sauces and dough made from scratch daily.

Large selection of gourmet pizza toppings. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 11043 Crystal Springs Rd., Ste. 2. 378-8131. $ PERFECT RACK BILLIARDS F Upscale billiards hall has burgers, steak, deli sandwiches, wings. Family-friendly, nonsmoking. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 1186 Edgewood Ave. S., Murray Hill. 738-7645. $ PIZZA PALACE ON PARK F See San Marco. Outdoor seating.

© 2010

APRIL 24-30, 2012 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 47

FolioW

Walter Coker

RAINTREE Located in a Victorian home, Raintree offers a menu with contemporary and traditional international influences. Extensive wine list. FB. D, daily. 102 San Marco Ave. 824-7211. $$$ THE REEF RESTAURANT F Casual oceanfront place with a view from every table. Fresh local seafood, steak, pasta dishes and daily chef specials. Outdoor dining. FB, CM, TO. L & D daily. 4100 Coastal Hwy. A1A, Vilano Beach. 824-8008. $$ SOUTH BEACH GRILL Located off A1A, the two-story beachy destination offers casual oceanfront dining and fresh local seafood. Dine indoors or out on a beachfront deck. FB. B, L & D daily. 45 Cubbedge Road, Crescent Beach. 471-8700. $ SPY GLOBAL CUISINE & LOUNGE In the historic district, Spy features James Bond-themed sushi and Mediterraneaninfluenced global cuisine on the seasonal menu, including fresh — never frozen — Hawaiian seafood. Dine indoors or out on the patio. Upstairs lounge, too. Great selection of chilled sakes. BW, CM. D, nightly. 21 Hypolita St. 819-5637. $$$ SUNSET GRILLE Seafood-heavy menu, consistent Great Chowder Debate winner. Specialties are baby back ribs, lobster ravioli, coconut shrimp, datil pepper wings. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 421 A1A Beach Blvd. 471-5555. $$$ THE TASTING ROOM, WINE & TAPAS Owned by Michael Lugo, the upscale contemporary Spanish restaurant fuses innovative tapas with an extensive wine list. L, Wed.-Sun.; D, nightly. 25 Cuna St. 810-2400. $$

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER

Andy and Rhonna Rockwell bring their St. Augustine-themed sandwiches to a new Ancient City Subs location in Jacksonville, at the corner of Philips Highway and Baymeadows Road.

920 Margaret St., 5 Points. 598-1212. $$ SAKE HOUSE F Japanese grill and sushi bar features sushi, sashimi, katsu, tempura, hibachi and specialty rolls. CM, BW, sake. L & D, daily. 824 Lomax St. 301-1188. $$ SUMO SUSHI F Authentic Japanese fare, traditional to entrees and sushi rolls, spicy sashimi salad, gyoza (pork dumpling), tobiko (flying fish roe), Rainbow roll (tuna, salmon, yellowtail, Calif. roll). BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2726 Park St. 388-8838. $$ SUSHI CAFÉ A variety of sushi, including the popular Monster Roll and the Jimmy Smith Roll, along with faves like Rockn-Roll and Dynamite Roll. Sushi Café also offers hibachi, tempura, katsu and teriyaki. BW. Dine indoors or on the patio.

L & D, daily. 2025 Riverside Ave. Publix Plaza. 384-2888. $$ TASTI D-LITE Health-conscious desserts include smoothies, shakes, sundaes, cakes and pies, made with fresh ingredients with fewer calories and less fat. More than 100 flavors. Open daily. 1024 Park St. 900-3040. $ TWO DOORS DOWN F Traditional faves: hotcakes, omelets, burgers, pork chops, liver & onions, fried chicken, sides and desserts. CM, TO. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 436 Park St. 598-0032. $ WASABI JAPANESE BUFFET F AYCE buffet. Sushi bar, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, tempura, steak, seafood. BW. L & D, daily. 1014 Margaret St., Ste. 1, 5 Points. 301-1199. $$

ST. AUGUSTINE

A1A ALE WORKS F The Ancient City’s only brew pub taps seven hand-crafted ales and lagers. A1A specializes in innovative New World cuisine. FB. L & D, daily. 1 King St. 829-2977. $$ AMICI ITALIAN RESTAURANT F A family-owned-andoperated Italian restaurant offers traditional pasta, veal, steak and seafood dishes. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1915B A1A S., St. Augustine Beach. 461-0102. $$ ANN O’MALLEY’S F Fresh handmade sandwiches, soups, salads and perfectly poured Guinness. Favorites include Reubens and chicken salad. CM, BW, Irish beers on tap. L & D, daily. 23 Orange St. 825-4040. $$ BARLEY REPUBLIC IRISH PUBLIC HOUSE This new Irish bar and pub in historic downtown offers burgers, sandwiches, shepherd’s pie and bangers and mash. BW. L & D, daily. 48 Spanish St. 547-2023. $$ BARNACLE BILL’S F For 30 years, the family restaurant has served seafood, oysters, gator tail, steak and fried shrimp. FB, CM, TO. L & D daily; 14 Castillo Drive, 824-3663. $$ THE BLACK MOLLY BAR & GRILL Fresh, local seafood, steaks and pasta dishes in a casual atmosphere. FB, CM. L & D daily.

504 Geoffrey St., Cobblestone Plaza. 547-2723. $$ BORRILLO’S PIZZA & SUBS F Specialty pizzas are Borrillo’s Supreme (extra cheese, pepperoni, sausage), white and vegetarian pizzas. Subs and pasta dinners. L & D, daily. 88 San Marco Ave. 829-1133. $ CAFÉ ATLANTICO Traditional and new Italian dishes served in an intimate space. Master Chef Paolo Pece prepares risotto alla pescatora, with shrimp, scallops and seasonal shellfish, in a parmesan cheese basket. BW. D, nightly. 647 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach. 471-7332. $$$ CAFÉ ELEVEN F Serving eclectic cuisine like feta spinach egg croissant, apple turkey sandwich, pear-berry salad. Daily chef creations. BW. B, L & D, daily. 501 A1A Beach Blvd.

460-9311. B, $; L & D, $$

48 | folio weekly | April 24-30, 2012

CAP’S ON THE WATER F The Vilano Beach mainstay offers coastal cuisine – tapas platters, cioppino, fresh local shrimp, raw oyster bar – indoors or on an oak-shaded deck. Boat access. FB. L, Fri.-Sun., D, nightly. 4325 Myrtle St., Vilano Beach. 824-8794. $$ CARMELO’S PIZZERIA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Authentic New York style brick-oven-baked pizza, fresh baked sub rolls, Boars Head meats and cheeses, fresh salads, calzones, strombolis and sliced pizza specials. BW. L & D, daily. 146 King St. 494-6658. $$ CELLAR 6 ART GALLERY & WINE BAR Wolfgang Puck coffees, handmade desserts and light bistro-style fare amid local art. BW. Mon.-Sat. 6 Aviles St. 827-9055. $$ CREEKSIDE DINERY Creekside serves beef, chicken and seafood, with an emphasis on low-country cooking. Outdoor deck with a fire pit. FB. D, nightly. 160 Nix Boatyard Rd. 829-6113. $$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches.

3 St. George St. 824-6993. $ THE FLORIDIAN The downtown restaurant serves innovative Southern fare, made with local farmers’ local food. Signature items: fried green tomato bruschetta, ’N’grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. L & D, Wed.-Mon. 39 Cordova St. 829-0655. $$ GYPSY CAB COMPANY F Best of Jax 2011 winner.

International menu features large portions, reasonable prices.

FB. L & D, daily. 828 Anastasia Blvd. 824-8244. $$ HARRY’S SEAFOOD BAR & GRILLE F In a historic, two-story house, the New Orleans-style eatery has fresh seafood, steaks, jambalaya, etouffée and shrimp. FB. L & D, daily. 46 Avenida Menendez. 824-7765. $$ HOT SHOT BAKERY & CAFE Freshly baked items, coffees and hand-crafted breakfast and lunch sandwiches; Datil B. Good hot sauces and pepper products. B & L, daily. 8 Granada St. 824-7898. $ KINGS HEAD BRITISH PUB F Authentic Brit pub serves fish & chips, Cornish pastie and steak & kidney pie. Tap beers are Guinness, Newcastle and Bass. BW. L & D, Wed.-Sun. 6460 U.S. 1 (4 miles N. of St. Augustine Airport.) 823-9787. $$ THE MANATEE CAFÉ F Serving healthful cuisine using organically grown fruits, vegetables, grains, legumes. B & L, daily. 525 S.R. 16, Ste. 106, Westgate Plaza. 826-0210. $ MANGO MANGO’S BEACHSIDE BAR & GRILL F Caribbean kitchen has comfort food with a tropical twist: coconut shrimp and fried plantains. BW, CM. Outdoor dining. 700 A1A Beach Blvd., (A Street access) St. Augustine Beach. 461-1077. $$ MILL TOP TAVERN F A St. Auggie institution housed in an 1884 building, serving nachos, soups, sandwiches and daily specials. Dine inside or on open-air decks. At the big mill wheel. FB. L & D, daily. 19 1/2 St. George St. 829-2329. $$ OASIS RESTAURANT & DECK F Just a block from the ocean, with a tropical atmosphere and open-air deck. Steamed oysters, crab legs, burgers. CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 4000 A1A & Ocean Trace Rd., St. Augustine Beach. 471-3424. $ THE PRESENT MOMENT CAFÉ Best of Jax 2011 winner. The cozy café serves organic, vegan and vegetarian dishes, pizza, pastas, hummus and milkshakes — all prepared without meat, dairy, wheat or an oven. Organic BW. TO. B, L & D, Mon.Sat. 224 W. King St. 827-4499. $ PURPLE OLIVE INTERNATIONAL BISTRO F Family-ownedand-operated, offering specials, fresh artisan breads. Soups, salad dressings and desserts made from scratch. BW. D, Tue.Sat. 4255 A1A S., Ste. 6, St. Augustine Beach. 461-1250. $$

BAHAMA BREEZE ISLAND GRILLE Fresh seafood, chicken, flame-grilled steaks and hand-crafted tropical drinks made with flavorful ingredients inspired by the Caribbean. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 10205 River Coast Dr. 646-1031. $$$ BLACKFINN AMERICAN GRILLE With four dining rooms, BlackFinn offers classic American fare: beef, seafood, pasta, chicken, flatbread sandwiches. Dine indoors or on the patio.

CM, FB. L & D, daily. 4840 Big Island Dr. 345-3466. $$ FIVE GUYS BURGERS & FRIES Best of Jax 2011 winner for Best Burger in St. Augustine and OP/Fleming Island. Burgers made with fresh ground beef and there’s a wide selection of toppings, including fried onions, jalapeños or sautéed mushrooms. Fries, Kosher hot dogs and soft drinks, too. L & D, daily. 4413 Town Center Pkwy., Ste. 401. 996-6900. $ LIBRETTO’S PIZZERIA & ITALIAN KITCHEN F Authentic NYC pizzeria serves Big Apple crust, cheese and sauce, along with third-generation family-style Italian classics, fresh-from-theoven calzones, and desserts in a casual, comfy setting. L & D, daily. 4880 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1. 402-8888. $$ MITCHELL’S FISH MARKET F A changing menu of more than 180 items includes cedar-roasted Atlantic salmon and seared salt-and-pepper tuna. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 5205 Big Island Dr., St. Johns Town Ctr. 645-3474. $$$ MY MOCHI FROZEN YOGURT Best of Jax 2011 winner. Nonfat, low-calorie, cholesterol-free frozen yogurt is served in flavors that change weekly. Toppings include a variety of fruit and nuts. 4860 Big Island Dr. 807-9292. $ THE ORIGINAL PANCAKE HOUSE F The recipes, unique to the Pancake House, call for only the freshest ingredients. CM. B, L & D, daily. 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr. 997-6088. $$ RENNA’S PIZZA F Renna’s serves up New York-style pizza, calzones, subs and lasagna made from authentic Italian recipes. Delivery, CM, BW. 4624 Town Crossing Dr., Ste. 125, St. Johns Town Center. 565-1299. rennaspizza.com $$ SUITE Best of Jax 2011 winner. St. Johns Town Center premium lounge and restaurant offer chef-driven small plates and an extensive list of specialty cocktails, served in a sophisticated atmosphere. FB. D & late-nite, nightly. 4880 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1. 493-9305. $$ WASABI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR F Authentic Japanese cuisine, teppanyaki shows and a full sushi menu.

CM. L & D, daily. 10206 River Coast Dr. 997-6528. $$ WHISKY RIVER F Best of Jax 2011 winner. At St. Johns Town Center’s Plaza, Whisky River features wings, pizza, wraps, sandwiches and burgers served in a lively car racing-themed atmosphere (Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s the owner). FB. CM. L & D, daily. 4850 Big Island Drive. 645-5571. $$

SAN JOSE

ATHENS CAFÉ F Serving authentic Greek cuisine: lamb, seafood, veal and pasta dishes. BW. L & D, daily. 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7. 733-1199. $$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches.

5613 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 1. 737-2874. $ DICK’S WINGS F NASCAR-themed family style sports place serves wings, buffalo tenders, burgers and chicken sandwiches. CM. BW. L & D, daily. 1610 University Blvd. W. 448-2110. dickswingsandgrill.com $ MOJO BAR-B-QUE F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The Southern Blues kitchen serves pulled pork, brisket and North Carolina-style barbecue. TO, BW. L & D, daily. 1607 University Blvd. W. 732-7200. $$

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

BASIL THAI & SUSHI F Offering Thai cuisine, including pad Thai and curry dishes, and sushi in a relaxing atmosphere. L & D, Mon.-Sat. BW. 1004 Hendricks Ave. 674-0190. $$

b.b.’s F Best of Jax 2011 winner. A bistro menu is served in an upscale atmosphere, featuring almond-crusted calamari, tuna tartare and wild mushroom pizza. FB. L & D, Mon.-Fri.; brunch & D, Sat. 1019 Hendricks Ave. 306-0100. $$$ BISTRO AIX F French, Mediterranean-inspired fare, awardwinning wines, wood-fired pizzas, house-made pastas, steaks, seafood. Indoor, outdoor dining. FB. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, nightly. 1440 San Marco Blvd. 398-1949. $$$ CHECKER BBQ & SEAFOOD F Chef Art Jennette serves barbecue, seafood and comfort food, including pulled-pork, fried white shrimp and fried green tomatoes. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 3566 St. Augustine Rd. 398-9206. $ EUROPEAN STREET F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Big sandwiches, soups, desserts and more than 100 bottled and on-tap beers. BW. L & D, daily. 1704 San Marco Blvd.

398-9500. $ THE GROTTO F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Wine by the glass. Tapas-style menu offers a cheese plate, empanadas bruschetta, chocolate fondue. BW. 2012 San Marco Blvd.

398-0726. $$ HAVANA-JAX CAFÉ/CUBA LIBRE BAR LOUNGE *Bite Club Certified! F Authentic Latin American fine dining: picadillo, ropa vieja, churrasco tenderloin steak, Cuban sandwiches. L & D, Mon.-Sat. CM, FB. 2578 Atlantic Blvd.

399-0609. $ LAYLA’S OF SAN MARCO Fine dining in the heart of San Marco. Traditional Middle Eastern cuisine, served inside or outside on the hookah and cigar patio. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat.; D, Sun. 2016 Hendricks Ave. 398-4610. $$ MATTHEW’S Chef’s tasting menu or seasonal à la carte menu featuring an eclectic mix of Mediterranean ingredients.

Dress is business casual, jackets optional. FB. D, Mon.-Sat. 2107 Hendricks Ave. 396-9922. $$$$ METRO DINER F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Historic 1930s diner offers award-winning breakfast and lunch. Fresh seafood and Southern cooking. Bring your own wine. B & L, daily. 3302 Hendricks Ave. 398-3701. $$ THE OLIVE TREE MEDITERRANEAN GRILLE F Homestyle healthy plates: hummus, tebouleh, grape leaves, gyros, potato salad, kibbeh, spinach pie, Greek salad, daily specials. L & D, Mon.-Fri. 1705 Hendricks Ave. 396-2250. $$ PIZZA PALACE F All homemade from Mama’s award-winning recipes: spinach pizza and chicken-spinach calzones. BW. L & D, daily. 1959 San Marco Blvd. 399-8815. $$ PULP F The juice bar offers fresh juices, frozen yogurt, teas, coffees; 30 kinds of smoothies, with flavored soy milks, organic frozen yogurt, granola. Daily. 1962 San Marco Blvd.

396-9222. $ RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE Consistent Best of Jax winner.

Midwestern prime beef, fresh seafood, upscale atmosphere.

FB. D, daily. 1201 Riverplace Blvd. 396-6200. $$$$ SAKE HOUSE See Riverside. 1478 Riverplace Blvd.

306-2188. $$ SAN MARCO DELI F Independently owned & operated classic diner serves grilled fish, turkey burgers. Vegetarian options. Mon.-Sat. 1965 San Marco Blvd. 399-1306. $ TAVERNA Tapas, small-plate items, Neapolitan-style woodfired pizzas and entrées are served in a rustic yet upscale interior. BW, TO. L & D, Tue.-Sat. 1986 San Marco Blvd.

398-3005. $$$ VINO’S PIZZA F See Julington. This location offers a lunch buffet. L & D, daily. 1430 San Marco Blvd. 683-2444. $

SOUTHSIDE

AROMAS BEER HOUSE Customer faves are ahi tuna with a sweet soy sauce reduction, backyard burger, triple-meat French dip. FB. L & D, daily. 4372 Southside Blvd.

928-0515. $$ BISTRO 41° F Casual dining features fresh, homemade breakfast and lunch dishes in a relaxing atmosphere. TO. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 3563 Philips Hwy., Ste. 104. 446-9738. $ BLUE BAMBOO Contemporary Asian-inspired cuisine includes rice-flour calamari, seared Ahi tuna, pad Thai. Street eats: barbecue duck, wonton crisps. BW. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.-Sat. 3820 Southside Blvd. 646-1478. $$ BOMBA’S SOUTHERN HOME COOKING F Southern homestyle fare, featuring fresh veggies. Outside dining. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 8560 Beach Blvd. 997-2291. $$ BUCA DI BEPPO Italian dishes served family-style in an eclectic, vintage setting. Half-pound meatballs are a specialty.

CM, FB. L & D, daily. 10334 Southside Blvd. 363-9090. $$$ CORNER BISTRO & WINE BAR F Casual fine dining.

The menu blends modern American favorites served with international flair. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 9823 Tapestry Park Circle, Ste. 1. 619-1931. $$$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches.

9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 11. 646-2874. $ EL POTRO F Family-friendly, casual El Potro has fresh, made-to-order fare. Daily specials, buffet most locations.

BW. L & D, daily. 5871 University Blvd. W., 733-0844. 11380 Beach Blvd., 564-9977. elpotrorestaurant.com $ EUROPEAN STREET F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See San Marco. 5500 Beach Blvd. 398-1717. $ FIVE GUYS BURGERS & FRIES Best of Jax 2011 winner. See St. Johns Town Center. 9039 Southside Blvd., 538-9100. $

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this is a copyright protected pro THE FLAME BROILER Serving food with no transfat, MSG, frying, or skin on meat. Fresh veggies, steamed brown or white rice along with grilled beef, chicken and Korean short ribs are featured. CM, TO. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9822 Tapestry Park Circle, Ste. 103. 619-2786. $ GENE’S SEAFOOD F Serving fresh Mayport shrimp, fish, oysters, scallops, gator tail, steaks and combos. L & D, daily.

11702 Beach Blvd. 997-9738. $$ HALA CAFE & BAKERY F A local institution since 1975 serving house-baked pita bread, kabobs, falafel and daily lunch buffet. TO, BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4323 University Blvd.

S. 733-5141. $$ ISLAND GIRL WINE & CIGAR BAR F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Upscale tropical vibe. Walk-in humidor, pairing apps and desserts with 25 wines, ports by the glass. 220+ wines by the bottle; draft, bottled beer. L & D, daily. 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115. 854-6060. $$ JENKINS QUALITY BARBECUE See Downtown. 2025 Emerson St. 346-3770. $ JOHNNY ANGELS F The menu reflects its ’50s-style décor, including Blueberry Hill pancakes, Fats Domino omelet, Elvis special combo platter. Shakes, malts. B, L & D, daily. 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Ste. 120. 997-9850. $ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Intracoastal.

8206 Philips Hwy. 732-9433. $ LIME LEAF F Authentic Thai cuisine: fresh papaya salad, pad Thai, mango sweet rice. BW. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.-Sat. 9822 Tapestry Park Cir., Stes. 108 & 109. 645-8568. $$ MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Tossed spring water dough, lean meats, veggies and vegetarian choices make up specialty pizzas, hoagies and calzones. FB. L & D, daily. 9734 Deer Lake Court (at Tinseltown). 997-1955. mellowmushroom.com $ OTAKI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE F Family-owned with an open sushi bar, hibachi grill tables and an open kitchen. Dine indoor or out. FB, CM, TO. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, nightly. 7860 Gate Parkway, Stes. 119-122. 854-0485. $$$ SAKE SUSHI F The restaurant offers sushi, hibachi, teriyaki, tempura, katsu, donburi and noodle soups. Popular rolls include Fuji Yama, Ocean Blue and Fat Boy. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 8206 Philips Hwy., Ste. 31. 647-6000. $$ SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY F Innovative menu of fresh local grilled seafood, sesame tuna, grouper Oscar, chicken, steak and pizza. Microbrewed ales and lagers. FB. L & D, daily. 9735 Gate Pkwy. N., Tinseltown.

997-1999. $$ SOUTHSIDE ALE HOUSE F Steaks, seafood, sandwiches. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9711 Deer Lake Court. 565-2882. $$ SPECKLED HEN TAVERN & GRILLE F The stylish gastropub has Southern-style cuisine with a modern twist: Dishes are paired with international wines and beers, including a large selection of craft and IPA brews. FB. L & D, daily. 9475 Philips Hwy., Ste. 16. 538-0811. $$ SUNSET 30 TAVERN & GRILL F Best of Jax 2011 winner.

Located in Latitude 30, Sunset 30 serves familiar favorites, including seafood, steaks, sandwiches, burgers, chicken, pasta and pizza. Dine inside or on the patio. FB. L & D, daily.

10370 Philips Hwy. 365-5555. $$ TAVERNA YAMAS *Bite Club Certified! The Greek restaurant serves char-broiled kabobs, seafood and traditional Greek wines and desserts. FB. L & D daily. 9753 Deer Lake Court. 854-0426. $$ THE THIRSTY IGUANA CANTINA TAQUERIA Classic Mexican fare includes quesadillas, tacos, burritos, chimichangas, enchiladas and fajitas, as well as some killer nacho choices, made with fresh ingredients. L & D, daily. TO, FB, CM. 7605 Beach Blvd. 647-7947. $$ TOMMY’S BRICK OVEN PIZZA F Premium New York-style

For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn dAte: 042412 FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655

pizza from a brick-oven — the area’s original gluten-free pizzeria. Plus calzones, soups and salads; Thumann’s noMSG meats, Grande cheeses and Boylan soda. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4160 Southside Blvd., Ste. 2. 565-1999. $$ URBAN FLATS F Ancient world-style promise flatbread is of benefit paired with fresh regional and seasonal ingredients in wraps, flatwiches and entrées, served in a casual, urban atmosphere. An international wine list is offered. CM. FB. L & D, daily. 9726 Touchton Rd. 642-1488. $$ URBAN ORGANICS The local produce co-op offers seasonal fresh organic vegetables and fruit. Mon.-Sat. 5325 Fairmont St. 398-8012. $ WASABI JAPANESE BUFFET F AYCE sushi and two teppanyaki grill items are included in buffet price. FB. L & D, daily. 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138C. 363-9888. $$ WILD WING CAFÉ F Serving up 33 flavors of wings, as well as soups, sandwiches, wraps, ribs, platters and burgers. FB. 4555 Southside Blvd. 998-9464. $$ YUMMY SUSHI F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Teriyaki, tempura, hibachi-style dinners, sushi & sashimi. Sushi lunch roll special.

BW, sake. L & D, daily. 4372 Southside Blvd. 998-8806. $$

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SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

BOSTON’S RESTAURANT & SPORTSBAR *Bite Club Certified! F A full menu of sportsbar faves; pizzas till 2 a.m. Dine inside or on the patio. FB, TO. L & D, daily. 13070 City Station Dr., River City Marketplace. 751-7499. $$ CASA MARIA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The family-owned restaurant serves authentic Mexican fare, including fajitas and seafood. The specialty is tacos de azada. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 12961 N. Main St., Ste. 104. 757-6411. $$ FIVE GUYS BURGERS & FRIES Best of Jax 2011 winner. See St. Johns Town Center. 13249 City Square Dr., 751-9711. $ JENKINS QUALITY BARBECUE See Downtown. 5945 New Kings Rd. 765-8515. $ JOSEPH’S PIZZA & ITALIAN RESTAURANT F Gourmet pizzas, pastas. Authentic Italian entrees. BW. L & D, daily.

7316 N. Main St. 765-0335. $$ MILLHOUSE STEAKHOUSE F A locally-owned-andoperated steakhouse with choice steaks from the signature broiler, and seafood, pasta, Millhouse gorgonzola, ofAirport benefit homemade desserts. CM, FB.promise D, nightly. 1341 Rd. 741-8722. $$ SALSARITA’S FRESH CANTINA F Southwest cuisine made from scratch; family atmosphere. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 840 Nautica Dr., Ste. 131, River City Marketplace. 696-4001. $ SAVANNAH BISTRO Low Country Southern fare with a twist of Mediterranean and French inspiration, offered in a relaxing atmosphere at Crowne Plaza Airport. Favorites include crab cakes, NY strip, she crab soup, mahi mahi. CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 14670 Duval Rd. 741-4404. $-$$$ SWEET PETE’S This all-natural sweet shop offers a variety of candy and other treats made the old-fashioned way: all natural flavors, no artificial anything. Several kinds of honey, too. 1922 N. Pearl St. 376-7161. $ THREE LAYERS CAFE F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Lunch, bagels, desserts, and the adjacent Cellar serves fine wines.

Inside and courtyard dining. BW. B, L & D, daily. 1602 Walnut St., Springfield. 355-9791. $ 3 LIONS SPORTS PUB & GRILL F Salads, sandwiches, pizza, fine European cuisine. Nightly specials. 2467 Faye Rd., Northside. 647-8625. $$ UPTOWN MARKET F In the 1300 Building at the corner of Third & Main, serving fresh fare made with the same élan that rules Burrito Gallery. Innovative breakfast, lunch and deli selections. BW, TO. 1303 Main St. N. 355-0734. $$

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For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn dAte: 040312 FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655

WINE TASTINGS

ANJO LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Thur.

9928 Old Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1, 646-2656 AROMAS CIGAR & WINE BAR Call for schedule.

4372 Southside Blvd., 928-0515 BLACK HORSE WINERY 2-7 p.m. Tue.-Thur., 2-8 p.m. Fri. & Sat., 2-6 p.m. Sun. 420 Kingsley Ave., Orange Park, 644-8480 BLUE BAMBOO 5:30-7:30 p.m., every first Thur.

3820 Southside Blvd., 646-1478 DAMES POINT MARINA Every third Wed. 4518 Irving Rd., Northside, 751-3043 THE GIFTED CORK Tastings daily.

64 Hypolita St., St. Augustine, 810-1083 THE GROTTO 6-8 p.m. every Thur.

2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726 MONKEY’S UNCLE LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Fri. 1850 S. Third St., Jax Beach, 246-1070 OCEAN 60 6-8 p.m every Mon. 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060 O’KANE’S IRISH PUB 6:30 p.m. every third Tue. 318 Centre St., Fernandina Beach, 261-1000 PUSSERS CARIBBEAN GRILL 6 p.m. every second Fri. 816 A1A N., Ste. 100, Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-7766

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RIVERSIDE LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Fri. 1035 Park St., Five Points, 356-4517 THE TASTING ROOM 6-8 p.m. every first Tue. 25 Cuna St., St. Augustine, 810-2400 TASTE OF WINE Tastings daily.

363 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 9, Atlantic Beach, 246-5080 TIM’S WINE MARKET 5 p.m. every Fri., noon every Sat. 278 Solana Rd., Ponte Vedra, 686-1741 128 Seagrove Main St., St. Augustine Beach, 461-0060 III FORKS PRIME STEAKHOUSE 5-6:30 p.m. every Mon. 9822 Tapestry Circle, Ste. 111, SJTC, 928-9277 TOTAL WINE & MORE Noon-6 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. 4413 Town Center Pkwy., Ste. 300, 998-1740 URBAN FLATS 5-8 p.m. every Wed. 9726 Touchton Rd., Tinseltown, 642-1488 WHOLE FOODS MARKET 6 p.m. every Thur.

10601 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 288-1100 THE WINE BAR 6-8 p.m. every Thur.

320 First St. N., Jax Beach, 372-0211 WINE WAREHOUSE 4-7 p.m. every Fri. 665 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 246-6450 4434 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 448-6782 1188 Edgewood Ave. S., Riverside, 389-9997 4085 A1A S., St. Augustine Beach, 471-9900

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© 2012

APRIL 24-30, 2012 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 49

Fast-Food Culture Shock

Since December, a White Castle restaurant in Lafayette, Ind., has provided diners with a stylish experience that includes table service and a wine selection to go with its iconic “slider” hamburgers. A state wine industry expert told The Wall Street Journal in February, after a tasting, that she’d recommend the Merlot, though the Moscato was “fun” and the Chardonnay passable (all wines come in $4.50, screw-off-top bottles and are served in clear plastic glasses). As for the sliders, said the expert, eyeing the burgers on her plate, “At some point, that was a cow, I guess.”

Leading Economic Indicators

When workers at the Carlsberg Beer plant in Vilnius, Lithuania, decided to walk out over poor pay and conditions, the company went court to© block them, and in March, a judge this is a copyright protected to proof ruled for the company, temporarily halting a strike as not being in the national interest, because Carlsberg Beer is “vitally essential,” s, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn dAte: 042412 thus placing the brew in the same legal category ROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 as medical supplies. Said a British labor union offi cial, Rep “This isre probably the most ridiculous Produced by ed Checked by Sales f benefit sUpport Ask for Action decision in the world.” Daily Telegraph, 3-5-2012

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Recurring Theme: In March, a new peak was reached in New York City’s ongoing search for the most preposterously underpriced (because of rent control) apartment in the city. The Gothamist website identified a one-bedroom apartment at 5 Spring St. in Manhattan’s SoHo district renting for $55 a month even though, according to a real estate agent, it should be drawing $2,500. The tenant’s parents moved in upon immigrating from Italy in the 1940s, and since the tenant, now in his 70s, has a much younger wife, the apartment could remain under rent control for decades. New York City rent controls were imposed to meet an “emergency” in housing during WWII, but the law gets routinely renewed.

Trail-Blazing Science

Philadelphia’s Monell Chemical Senses Center recently won a $36,000 grant to study the genetic basis of Trimethylaminuria, otherwise known as the disorder that causes sufferers to smell like dead fish. The first case reported in medical literature was in the 1970s, but according to a Science News report, “an ancient Hindu tale describes a maiden who ‘grew to be comely and fair, but a fishy odor ever clung to her.’ ”

Animal Tales

50 | FOLIO WEEKLY | APRIL 24-30, 2012

Eight to Go: After the year-old housecat Sugar survived a 19-floor fall at a Boston high-rise in March, an Animal Rescue League official explained to MSNBC that extra fur where the legs attach to the body enables cats to “glide” and partially “control” their landing. Research suggests steep falls are easier to survive, since cats have time to spread themselves out.

Demi, a 5-year-old cat, survived a 40-minute tumble-dry (temperature up to 104° F) in Whitchurch, England, in March. She needed oxygen, fluids and steroids to recover.

Jennifer Parker, 45, tossed a load of clothes in, unaware Demi was in the pile.

Something Else to Worry About: A computer science professor working with the

Bonobo Hope Great Ape Trust Sanctuary in Des Moines, Iowa, has developed a bonobo robot that can be controlled by live bonobos.

Among the first applications of the robot, said Dr. Ken Schweller in March, is a water cannon bonobos will be taught to operate via an iPad app to “play chase games” with each other — “or to squirt guests.”

In January, Kentucky state Sen. Katie Stine, presiding over a ceremony in the state capitol honoring Newport Aquarium, posed with aquarium officials and with Paula, a blackfooted penguin brought in for the warmand-cuddly photo op. It fell to Senate President David Williams to gently interrupt Stine’s speech and inform her Paula was in the process of soiling the floor of the august chamber.

The Continuing Crisis

Drive-By Etiquette: In February, Kendall Reid, 36, was extradited from New Jersey back to LaPlace, La., where he’d been sought for allegedly shooting at a car on I-10 on Christmas Eve. According to police, Reid failed to hit the car he was aiming at, instead inadvertently shooting out the back window of a car in which two women were riding.

However, as the damaged car stopped on the roadside, Reid pulled his Corvette over, too, walked up to the women and apologized (“Sorry, wrong car”) — before resuming his pursuit of his intended target.

The Redneck Chronicles

A 41-year-old man was treated with antivenom at the USA Medical Center in Mobile, Ala., in March after he was bitten by a cottonmouth. The man saw the snake at an encampment, beaten it to death with a stick and decapitated it. At that point, according to the man’s friend, he for some reason started to “play with” the head. The dead snake’s teeth still contained venom.

In April, James Davis of Stevenson, Ala., vowed he’d forever resist a judge’s order to dig up his late wife’s body from his front yard and rebury it in a cemetery. “I’m in it for the long haul,” he said, promising to wait out the authorities. “I don’t have much to do but sit around [and] think about what’s going on.”

Update

Bill Dillon, released from a Florida prison in 2009 after 27 years’ wrongful incarceration, received a public apology in March from Gov. Rick Scott (and will get $50,000 from the state for each year of lockup). Dillon is one of the first inmates to have received justice among as many as an estimated 60 who were convicted with the help of the now-deceased dog trainer John Preston, whose supposedly heroicnosed German shepherds could track smells through water and pick out lone scents among highly contaminated crime scenes, magically confirming speculative parts of prosecutors’ cases when there was no other evidence.

Pushover judges allowed Preston a free hand until one thought to subject the dog to a simple courtroom smell test, which the dog totally failed. Though satisfied with his own outcome, Dillon begged authorities to open other cases involving Preston’s dogs.

Chuck Shepherd WeirdNews@earthlink.net

RUNNING IN THE RAIN You ran in from the rain to get a fat-free, sugar-free vanilla latte. Our eyes met and I fell out of my chair. You giggled and ran away, too fast for me to catch. You left an impression Like Nothing Ever Before. When: Feb. 14. Where: Starbucks at the Beach. #1320-0424

SAW YOU WITH YOUR SON And I was with my son. I was hoping we could play together like our kids did. You: dark brown hair, nice legs, beautiful eyes. Me: medium build, early 30s, tattooed. If you see this I’ll be up there this weekend ... ttyl xoxo. When: 3 weeks ago.

Where: Parental Home Rd. #1309-0410

HERE’S HOPING New Hire, red hair, a would be Goddess amongst mortals.

Easier done than said. Hoping you’re getting your legs in the “bidness” and out walking around so we can meet. I’ll keep my head in the clouds with hopes of seeing you. When: April 10. Where: San Jose Blvd. #1319-0424

HELLO DVM! I almost forgot why I was even there when you entered the room. You called my pup handsome, helped his eye, and made my day. I couldn’t stop watching you talk. I’d like to talk some more... maybe a trip to the dog park?? When: March 28. Where: Animal Emergency of St. Johns. #1308-0410

GATE STATION ON STOCKTON You: Grey pants, black top, blue car, walked by me twice, I stared both times. Me: Polo shirt and slacks, wishing I knew what to talk about at a gas station. Or maybe you tonguetied me, but let’s grab a drink and find out. When: April 13.

Where: Gate Station on Stockton, Riverside, lunchtime. #1318-0424

ZOE’S RAVISHING REDHEAD You: Redhot redhead eating a spinach wrap. Me: Intimidated & mesmerized. Walked by 3 times before I could work up the nerve to approach. Used the line “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” but you didn’t respond well. I’d realllly like to get to know you. We missed our first opportunity but I’ll make sure there are more. When: March 28. Where: Zoe’s in Riverside. #1307-0410

YOU MOVED :) Over 100 were there. You were one of 6 or 7 that moved on the main floor. Thanks :) When: April 14. Where: Ben Folds Concert. #1317-0424 BEER WENCH WITH PIGTAIL BRAIDS You, in all black with rainbow eyes, your beer knowledge moved me. You liked my pigbuns and my tights. I laughed at all the sarcastic jokes you made and no one else seemed to get. Let’s get together and make fun of people over a couple pints? When: April 13. Where: Kickbacks Gastropub. #1316-0424 STARLING You were eating lunch wearing a very tight tube top, a star tattoo on your forehead, you were eating a burger, I was wearing a blue T-shirt, picking up my burger to go. I said “Hey babe,” you replied, “sup.” Let’s eat burgers together, babe. When: April 10. Where: Applebee’s. #1315-0417 DRUNKEN KIDNAPPER/WEIRD START I wasn’t with your work party... you accosted me at the bar and asked me if I wanted to motorboat you... I obliged. You kidnapped me and really scared me with your driving skills and church parking lot antics. I wish I had met you years ago. Please abduct me again. Me: beer beard. You: owl weed.

When: A Monday 2 months ago. Where: Your work party at the bar. #1314-0417 DEEP V TOOK MY BREATH AWAY You: Smoking a cigarette in front of SunDog when I was captivated by the plunging neckline of your tee. Me: Couldn’t compose myself to come say hello. Dying for another chance to introduce myself. Your T-shirt read “I am not a whore.” I’m hoping that’s not true ;) When: April 9. Where: Atlantic Beach. #1313-0417 BITCHIN’ TRUCK You drive the black and pink “Bitchin’” truck. Radiant smile and a sparkle in your eyes that is impossible to ignore. Me: Sitting next to you at the bar. Care to share some more coconut tequila? When: March 9. Where: Tacolu. #1312-0410

HNA – BEAUTIFUL SULTRY ATTORNEY! I know that you are there about 5 days a week, several times a day. I have seen you there on many occasions. I want to grow closer to you! I want you to represent me! Let me know if you feel the same! When: 5 days/week minimum. Where: Starbucks San Marco. #1306-0410 LONG-HAIRED RASTA IN JAGS JEEP My battery was dead and you recharged it. Sexiest man I have ever seen. I would love the chance to go topless in your wrangler. Hoping you feel the same. When: Feb. 15. Where: Jax Beach. #1305-0403 FOR JW (SORRY) I gazed into another’s soul and saw mine looking back and when I moved from left to right my footsteps soul did track.

In this soul I also saw something I wasn’t glad to see -someone with whom I could stay and love into infinity.

To Fly! To run! To roam! To flee! Is what my heart was asking for.

So on this kindred soul to me I had to close the door.

-eternally your muse in another life.- MW When: March 17. Where: Outside of a bar. #1304-0403 YOU CAUGHT MY EYES I Saw u at MHC, and my heart couldn’t stop racing, u were so cute with your long brown hair and pretty smile I just wanted to hold you in my arms. U had on orange shirt and black pants at the front desk, we started talking and I didn’t want to stop, but u had to leave early taking a trip to JFK, I wanted

to at least get your name and number so we can talk, you left and I couldn’t stop thinking of u. Email me please if we can talk. When: March 28. Where: MHC. #1303-0403 CUTIE ON A NINJA You: black Kawasaki Ninja. Me: black Honda Shadow, diggin your style. Us: hair blowing in the wind while we cruise down beach blvd on our sweet rides. Pesky light cut our chit chat short. Let’s get together and ride to the beach. See you on campus! When: March 27 @ 9:30 p.m. Where: Beach & Kernan. #1302-0403 SWING DANCING MAN You had a gray plain t-shirt, with a shark tooth surf necklace, blue jeans with nice fade, and black dancing shoes, and stunning brown eyes. You move amazingly well, very impressive. Me: with Black t-shirt with palm trees and jeans.

I sure would love to take private lessons, and dance with you. Hope to see you again. When: March 23. Where: Orange Park/Beyond Just Dance. #1301-0403 GROCERY SHOPPING DAD You: Handsome with dark hair and beautiful blue eyes, grocery shopping with your daughter. I first saw you in the produce department looking at me. We eventually exchanged a few flattering words and like the cart you were pushing you raced off. Me: petite brunette, with brown eyes and pink cheeks from being slightly embarrassed. I was wearing gym clothes. Regretfully leaving without exchanging numbers.

When: March 9. Where: Publix World Golf Village. #1300-0403 BRUNETTE PIXY AT LAYLA’S I saw you at Layla’s Tuesday night. I was leaving and you ripped off my clothes with those sexy eyes of yours. When: March 6. Where: Layla’s in San Marco. #1300-0327 TOTALLY FLOORED!!!

First saw you sitting on the floor in the chips aisle... then again outside... (around 8:15 am) You were wearing a light blue polo shirt & shorts... I’m kicking myself for not getting your number... If you are reading this, what was I wearing &/ or driving? When: March 11. Where: Walmart on Philips Hwy @ 8:15 am. #1299-0320 YOBE FROZEN YOGURT At 8 p.m. went in looking crazy with my white polo hoodie on covering my head, pink FSCJ shorts and flip flops. Me and my kiddie bop grabbed some frozen yogurt and I saw your handsome face, with slick black hair. You had on shorts with a plaid blue and white button-up; your friend wore a cap. You two decided to eat outside. Don’t know if you noticed but I sure was looking from the corner of my eyeball lol. When: Feb. 29. Where: Orange Park Yobe Frozen Yogurt. #1298-0320

HANK WILLIAMS JR. CONCERT You were hanging out behind the guy in charge of the lights.

You were also wearing a t-shirt that read Georgia across the front. I had long blonde hair and you were amused that I hunt in Georgia. I left in a hurry. Don’t let me get away, lol.

When: March 3. Where: Hank Williams Jr. Concert. #1297-0320 MUSCULAR MOUNTAIN MAN You: tall blonde grizzly hunk that comes to the gym on his lunch break. Me: big rack with a bigger back. I’ve seen you get into a black older model f-150 with window decals on the back. Also I know we share a love for the Avett brothers.

I hope that one day we can lie underneath a tree together, play guitar, sip some apple pie moonshine and listen to the birds. Will you be my Tim Tebow? When: About twice a week during lunchtime. Where: Athlete’s Choice N. Main St. #1296-0313 JOHN SMITH SEARCHING FOR POCAHONTAS Saw you just around the river bend. watched you tattoo a stuffed giraffe and my life hasn’t been the same since. Would love to paint the colors of the wind with you. When: March 5.

Where: Jerry’s Sports Grille. #1295-0313 BANGIN’ LIBRARIAN You: Blue eyes, short bangs & a green collared dress with sexy side cutouts. Me: Plaid button-up and cords. I saw you shelving DVDs. We met eyes for a few seconds and I thought to come over and ask you for a little assistance, but I was slightly intimidated. Let’s see how tough you truly are.

Drinks? When: March 1. Where: Jacksonville Public Library: Willow Branch. #1294-0313 FOREVER’S MESSENGER We exchanged few words, you complimented my pants. You: adorable brunette with messenger bag. Me: blushing, excited employee in beanie wishing I had said more. I’ve seen you around and I’d like to put a name to that face. When: Feb. 25.

Where: Avenue’s Mall. #1293-0313 TO THE MAYOR OF CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE You stole my heart from the couch. and I have never let you out of my heart...you will always be in it no matter if your there or not...so let’s get back on that lonely couch and when we wake let go for a bike ride on the beach. When: Feb. 2011. Where: Camp Crystal Lake Herschel St. #1292-0313 SEXY TATTOOED WHISKY RIVER BARTENDER I saw you staring all night at me when I was working. We had a moment while you were DJing when I finally caught your gaze. You’re on repeat in my mind all day. Let’s make music! Where: In the bush. When: Feb. 29. Where: Whisky River/Suite. #1291-0313

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CLEAN CUT DAD WITH SONS Pushy mom always on the lookout for nice man for her daughter. I saw you at McDonald’s on a Saturday with your two sons. You were sitting at the stools facing the playground and I remarked to my daughter that you were handsome. My daughter pretended not to notice but I could tell she thought the same. If you noticed us (I have grey hair, red glasses; my daughter is 40something with dark hair and had her young daughter at the table front of you). If interested, write back. When: March 3. Where: McDonald’s Collins & Blanding. #1311-0410

HEADLINE________________________________________________________________________________

DELICOMB!!

You tall, black hair, fun looking, gorgeous man, stepping out of his BMW. Me: gorgeous ;) petite brunette, having breakfast outside. Loved that smile and the way your jeans look on you! Call me so we can enjoy a deli-comb together! When: March 30. Where: Delicomb! #1310-0410

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April 24-30, 2012 | folio weekly | 51

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “True life is lived when tiny changes occur,” said Leo Tolstoy. I agree. It’s rare for us to undergo rapid, dramatic transformations in short periods of time. That’s why it’s delusional to be forever pining for some big magic intervention to fix everything. The best way to alter our course? Slowly and gradually, conscientiously revamping responses to small daily details. Keep these thoughts close at hand in the weeks ahead. Be a devotee of the incremental approach. Step-by-step. Hour-by-hour.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “What people really need and demand from life is not wealth, comfort, or esteem, but games worth playing,” said psychiatrist Thomas Szasz. I love that; I’m excited to offer it to you now. You’ve been invited or will soon be invited to participate in some of the best games ever. They’re not grueling games foisted on you by folks hoping to manipulate, nor pointless games to exhaust your energy for naught. Rather, they’re fun challenges that promise to stretch your intelligence, deepen your perspective and enhance emotional riches.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Is it conceivable that you’ve gotten a bit off track? As I close my eyes and ask higher powers for a psychic vision, I get an impression of you staring at a blurry image of a symbol no longer an accurate representation of your life goal. There’s a chance my vision is completely unfounded. But if it does ring at least somewhat true to you — if it suggests a question worth asking yourself — meditate on the possibility that you need to update your understanding of what your ultimate target looks like.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): From an astrological point of view, it’s prime time to attend a networking extravaganza or collaboration spree. Likewise, it’s an excellent phase in your long-term cycle to organize a gathering for close allies most important to help you carry out your master plan in the next 12 months. Ever heard the term “Temporary Autonomous Zone”? It’s a time and place where people with shared interests and common values explore frontiers of productive conviviality. It may be a dinner party in an inspirational setting, a boisterous ritual in a rowdy sanctuary or a private festival for fellow seekers. Make sure something like that happens.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): To begin one of his performances, comedian and musician Steve Martin ambled on stage and told his audience what to expect. “Before every show,” he said, “I like to do one thing that is impossible. So now I’m going to suck this piano into my lungs.” That’s the kind of brag I hope to hear from you soon — the more outrageous the better. Cultivate a looser, breezier relationship with your actual ambitions. To make boastful jokes about wacky or farfetched goals may inspire you to be jauntier and friskier about the real ones. And that’ll rouse a burst of fresh motivational energy.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The text for this week’s oracle is from Frederick Douglass (1818-’95), a great American statesman who, after escaping slavery, became a leader of the abolitionist movement. “Those who profess to favor freedom and yet depreciate agitation,” he said, “are people who want crops without plowing the ground; they want rain without thunder and lightning … The struggle may be a moral one, or it may be a physical one, or it may be both. But it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a 52 | FOLIO WEEKLY | APRIL 24-30, 2012

demand.” Apply these thoughts to your situation. You’ve entered your cycle’s liberation phase.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Here are declarations I hope come out of your mouth at least once in the next three weeks. If for any reason you’re not in situations where the words make sense to say, rearrange your life accordingly. 1. “There’s nothing else I’d rather be doing right now.” 2. “Is it OK with you if we take this really slow?” 3. “No one’s ever done that before.” 4. “Squeeze my hand when it feels really amazing.” 5. “It’s like we know what the other’s thinking.” 6. “May I have some more, please?”

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): A political strategist told me one of her most important rules: To win an election, you have to help your candidate choose the right fights. That’s a great guiding principle in the weeks ahead. According to my astrological omen-reading, you’ll be getting invitations to spar, joust and wrangle. It may be exciting to leap into each fray with eyes blazing, show careful discernment.

Try to confine your participation to tangles that downplay weaknesses and highlight strengths.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In the famous children’s book “The Little Prince,” the hero lives on an asteroid with three volcanoes, two active and one dormant. One day he decides to leave home and travel to other realms. Before departing, he meticulously scours all three volcanoes. “If they are well cleaned out,” the narrator reports, “volcanoes burn slowly and steadily, without any eruptions.” Emulate the Little Prince. It’s high time to attend to your volcanoes’ upkeep.

Be sure they burn slow and steady in the months ahead, even when you’re not home.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A classic of ancient Sanskrit literature is the Kama Sutra, which gives practical advice on erotic love. The book’s most popular edition has instructions on eight kinds of kisses and 64 sexual positions, and tips on embracing and caressing styles. It’s an excellent time to get inspired by info like that. Your relationship with the amorous arts is due for expansion and refinement.

You don’t need to rely on book learning; accomplish empirical exploration simply by getting naked and firing up your imagination.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Singersongwriter Tom Waits was strongly influenced

by Bob Dylan’s down-to-earth album “The Basement Tapes.” “I like my music with the rinds and the seeds and pulp left in,” Waits declares. “The noise and grit” of Dylan’s rootsy, intimate songs, he says, creates a mood of “joy and abandon.” That’s what I wish for you in the weeks ahead. Get down to the gritty, organic core of things. Hunker down in funky fundamentals. Hang out where stories are fresh and raw.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You’re not really breaking the rules, right? It’s more like you’re just testing their elasticity; you’re helping them be supple and flexible. People will thank you for how you’re expanding the way the game’s played. It may take a while, but they’ll appreciate and capitalize on liberties you are introducing into the system. In the short run, though, you may take some heat for tinkering. Don’t let that inhibit creative risks.

Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

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April 24-30, 2012 | folio weekly | 53

FOLIO WEEKLY PUZZLER by Merl Reagle. Presented by

Florida’s Finest Jeweler SAN MARCO 2044 SAN MARCO BLVD. 398-9741

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April Showers Bring ...

ACROSS Online money Mental pictures Film flop of 1987 Jeweler’s magnifier Romeo’s home Wound, as on a bobbin Famed prisoner of Fort Jefferson in the Dry Tortugas Baldness Lures into lawbreaking Astaire and Rogers Water cooler?

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Sea, in Spain Free, in a way Twofold Ancient text Give for a while Peel-and-stick items

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2

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AVENUES MALL

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78 River between Turkmenistan and Uzbekistan 80 222 83 Jill, to Jacques?

85 Riga’s river (anagram of DIVAN) 86 On a voyage 87 Pitcher Hershiser 88 Author Jong 89 Demonstrate 93 Author of “The Fixer” 97 Ostrich or kiwi, e.g.

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I D I E

F I N A L G A M E

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W E M A Y

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54 | folio weekly | April 24-30, 2012

R E I N K

34

96

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105

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88

108

I H E A R

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DO YOU HAVE A PUZZLING MOM ???

To order signed copies of Merl’s crossword books for Mother’s Day, visit sundaycrosswords.com or call 800-431-1579 (orders only, please).

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On Death and Dying

A combination of Hospice and in-home health care can provide a dignified and peaceful end

D

o you have a loved one who has been diagnosed with a terminal condition?

Or perhaps you yourself may have been diagnosed? I’m sharing this story of how we dealt with this situation, hoping that some folks may get ideas from our story.

Going back to the beginning, on Oct. 24, 2011, my father called me to say he’d been diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer. He was understandably surprised, because he was healthy up until then, with no symptoms. Since he was 86 years old, he accepted his diagnosis, and did not desire treatment.

Shortly thereafter, he enrolled in hospice care in his home community in Bradenton. Since his home was already in the process of being sold, his — and our — plan was to keep him at his home until it sold and then move him to our home to continue his care. After his move to Jacksonville, he enrolled with Community Hospice. Susie was our nurse. My dad was very much in control of the decisions about his health, care, his personal affairs, and had a strong desire to stay in a home setting with his dogs.

Community Hospice enabled us to manage his care to the maximum extent possible, with my very supportive husband, Tom. Many folks think hospice is about dying, but actually it is about living life to the max for the time you have left after a terminal diagnosis of a year or less. They oversee your care and medication and help the patient and family to have what they need to be prepared for the progress of their terminal condition at home or in whatever setting they choose. For example, in my father’s case, they helped us manage conditions that arose, such as swelling and resulting seeping from his legs, prevention of bedsores, and ensured adequate sleep and pain management during this process. Very importantly, they provided a booklet that informs patients and family members about typical changes as death approaches, such as less need for food and water — things we are glad we knew.

The hospice nurse, through her weekly as-needed visits, supports the family’s ability to provide care, and assesses the patient’s status. As expected and unexpected conditions occurred, Susie provided advice and techniques for symptom management, even coming out on the weekend or evenings if needed. That gave my dad and us confidence and security, which is so important with a process that is fraught with so many unknowns.

But when my father could no longer walk unassisted to the toilet, it came as a surprise.

Although he had become progressively less steady on his feet, when he announced that he couldn’t walk, it was a shock — or maybe a little denial. At 3 p.m., when Susie checked with me on his condition, I told her he was stable.

By 6:30 p.m. the same day, he announced that

he could no longer walk, and I was totally unprepared. A hospice aide showed us how to lift him, but frankly it was awkward at best, and we, including my dad, were concerned that we might injure our backs, or him, in the process.

So I called my friend Diane, who had recently encountered the same situation.

Diane, very careful about her mother’s care, had removed her from two nursing homes because she was not satisfied with the quality of care. She recommended we call a home health service called Angels Heart, which had cared for her mom at home till her passing.

This home health service provided aides for 24/7 care in our home. They came out for the initial consultation on a Saturday,

to put the dog in the bed with him. He enjoyed his dogs, especially as his illness progressed.

Two hours later, my dad stopped breathing. Pat said that when the dog was placed in his bed beside him, his breathing became progressively more relaxed. Then he just slipped away. The dog remained in the bed until they took him away. Pat said she thought he knew his pet companion was with him.

My purpose in sharing this story is to help folks who are in this situation to understand how Hospice, in conjunction with home health care, can make all the difference to transform a sad situation into a bittersweet one. My dad’s period of decline was short: three months from diagnosis, with no symptoms till death.

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please My purpose in sharing this storyForis questions, to help folks whocallareyourinadvertising representative at 260-9770. rU FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 this situation to understand how Hospice, in conjunction Produced by ed promise of benefit sUpport Ask for Action with home health care, can make all the difference to transform a sad situation into a bittersweet one. and Anne came on Sunday morning. We were able to continue our commitment to care for him at home because of their care, compassion and expertise. Their total cost was comparable to that of a skilled nursing facility; and the care is totally customized to the patient. Every night and during the day, they stayed in his room, right beside him.

I didn’t think he would go for that much personal attention, but he appreciated and enjoyed it. At night when he woke, he could see one of his “Angels” sitting there. At times they talked, or sometimes he just went back to sleep, knowing someone was there. And my husband and I got our rest.

They formed a strong relationship with him as a person, not just a patient. They not only knew what was coming, they knew how to handle it, as he steadily declined. He enjoyed their company, and it was a great departure from the family dynamics. They shared personal stories back and forth. The family already was familiar with his stories, but the ladies were a new audience. And they shared with him as well.

Also, when it came to toileting and bathing, having it done by professionals preserved his dignity, compared to getting such help from family members.

In addition to the care and focus on my dad, they provided my husband and me much moral support. They, along with Hospice, focused on helping all of us.

Finally, my dad seemed to be going into his final decline. He couldn’t get out of bed, and ate and drank little. On Wednesday, Jan. 26, I was going to bed, and Pat, one of our aides, told me

Hospice was involved and provided the medical oversight, making the home health aides a great complement to Hospice and our family care.

But even the most devoted family members may have limits to what they can do, especially if they are employed, have children in the home, and so on.

Costs for his care were comparable to those of a nursing home, but he received care in a familiar setting, in his favorite recliner, with his precious dogs in attendance. Since his condition was advancing rapidly, we provided care as long as we could, so our ladies were only on duty for less than one month. So it can cost as little as $5,000-$10,000, an amount affordable by many people when the disease is progressing rapidly.

This is not to advocate care for a loved one at home instead of at a skilled nursing facility; the pros and cons of that are for another article.

But if at-home care is what you desire, our story is just to point out how your family’s at-home care, Hospice and home health care can mesh to provide a satisfying experience within a sad situation. And it allows the patient to maintain as much dignity and control of the situation as possible, especially if he or she is alert and wants to guide their care.

A good friend once said, “Dying is the last thing we have to do well.” I feel our process of care enabled my dad to do that.

Godspeed, Daddy. You did well.

Janet L. Stanko

Stanko is a Jacksonville resident and an occasional contributor to Folio Weekly. Her last Backpage Editorial appeared on Feb. 14, 2012.

Folio Weekly welcomes Backpage Editorial submissions. Essays should be at least 1,200 words and on a topic of local interest or concern. Email your Backpage to themail@folioweekly. com or snail mail it to Anne Schindler, Editor, Folio Weekly, 9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256. Opinions expressed on the Backpage are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the editors or management of Folio Weekly.

APRIL 24-30, 2012 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 55

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