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Northeast Florida’s News & Opinion Magazine • May 31-June 6, 2011 • Your Staycation Bible School • 110,860 readers every week!

Mayor Peyton’s on-again, off-again chief of staff continues to shill for his former master, Gov. Rick Scott. p. 7

FREE

New exhibit secures Jacksonville International Airport’s rep as a destination for art lovers in flight. p. 32

2 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011

Inside

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21 EDITOR’S NOTE p. 4 MAIL Alvin Brown: role model. Plus Cecil Field remains a monument to government inaction. p. 5 NEWS Adam Hollingsworth shills for Gov. Scott but collects a paycheck from Mayor Peyton. p. 7 BUZZ, BOUQUETS & BRICKBATS Clay County Commission bungles late night bar bill (again). Plus a locally filmed movie wins Folio Weekly’s Tagline Of The Year award. p. 8 FEATURE STORY Author Bill Belleville recounts a night spent on the St. Johns River with “Tree” — a ’Nam vet with a taste for Old Milwaukee. p. 14 OUR PICKS Reasons to leave the house this week. p. 19 MOVIES Reviews of “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides” and a look at The Florida Theatre’s Summer Movie Classics series. p. 20

Volume 25 Number 9

14 MUSIC After 25 years, freaky musical trio Primus still “sucks.” Plus Nashville Pussy curls up in the wilds of the hard rock scene. p. 24 ARTS Sky Bridges exhibit opens at JAA and Murder Art for Insane Architects opens at Vault Gallery. p. 32 NEWS OF THE WEIRD Okaloosa County, Fla. representin’! Man forgets “which” strip bar he’s banned from. p. 45 BACKPAGE When every education cut is on the table, why is raising taxes off limits? p. 50 I ♥ TELEVISION p. 11 SPORTSTALK p. 12 HAPPENINGS p. 36 DINING p. 38 FREEWILL ASTROLOGY p. 46 I SAW U p. 47 CLASSIFIEDS p. 48

MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011 | folio weekly | 3

Unsafe at Any Speed

Florida is home to the four most dangerous cities for pedestrians – and a lawmaker determined to keep it that way

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4 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011

very morning on my drive to work, I pass the same contingent of bipeds. The marathon runner, muscles as ropy as a bag of Twizzlers.

The beefy military men, pushing through their punishing morning regimen. The fast food workers, sporting their corporate-issued visors and polos. The bus-stop-waiters, enduring JTA’s special brand of purgatory.

In every case, they trample a path of their own making, a ribbon of worn grass that hugs a stretch of road whizzing with traffic.

Motorists speed past, applying makeup, drinking coffee, texting — each just one distracted moment from drifting off the pavement and turning their daily commute into someone’s perennial grief.

Walking along roads without sidewalks is never safe. But it’s a particularly risky proposition in Jacksonville, which last week landed on a list of the most lethal metro areas for pedestrians. Jacksonville ranked third.

In the first, second and fourth slots were Orlando, Tampa/St. Pete and Miami.

You might think that a state home to the top four most deadly cities — a state in which 11.1 percent of all pedestrians in the U.S were killed, along with 17.4 percent of bicyclists — would comprehend the need for improved highway safety. But that assumption would require ascribing to lawmakers like Florida’s own U.S. Rep. John Mica the cognitive abilities and sympathies of an ordinary human. And that’s far too generous.

For Mica (R-Florida), the chair of the powerful House Transportation Committee, sidewalks and bike lanes are little more than pretty extras, as superfluous as flowerbeds and cabbage palms. He’s currently pushing to eliminate federal safety requirements for road projects, gutting regulations that require bike lanes and sidewalks, which he compares to beautification efforts. His transportation spending bill, which would cover the next six years of federal highway appropriations, would remove the requirement that 10 percent of the roughly $32 billion collected in federal gas tax dollars go toward bike lanes, sidewalks, and the like.

Mica is pitching this bad idea as a way to “free up” tax dollars in tough economic times, but it’s precisely tough economic times like these that force employees to hoof it to work.

It’s tough economic times that send people who can no longer afford gas or car payments out on the roads on two wheels instead of four. And the need to ensure their safety becomes more urgent as their numbers grow.

It’s hard to conceive that a modernday elected official would consider “transportation” a purely automotive concept.

Everyone from community planners and developers to health experts and soccer moms understands that walking and biking are part of the transportation matrix, not expendable luxuries. But it’s no surprise that Mica would endorse the supremacy of the automobile, and the petroleum-based lifestyle that it sustains.

He’s Florida’s pre-eminent champion of the oil industry, alone among state lawmakers in seeking (before and after the BP disaster) to

end a century-old moratorium on offshore drilling. He even backed oil drilling in the Everglades as far back as 1970. His brother is executive director of the Florida Petroleum Council, his daughter a paid shill for the oilbased Citizens Alliance for Energy Security, and Mica himself has collected some $60,000 from oil interests over the years.

So when Mica looks at gas tax revenues, he sees not an opportunity to improve

John Mica, who views sidewalks and bike lanes as little more than pretty extras, is pushing to gut federal highway spending on road safety. transportation safety but to further advance oil industry profits, via more and bigger roads.

Unfortunately, the counterpoint to Mica’s figurative oil stain is the literal blood spilled on the highways of his home state.

“How many more headlines must we read of kids getting killed or critically injured walking to a school bus or riding their bikes?” Orange County Planning and Zoning Commissioner Rick Geller asked the Orlando Sentinel last week. He added, “Shifting funding away from bike lanes and sidewalks is reckless and irresponsible.”

Indeed. It’s also borderline misanthropic, a characteristic that John Mica — known for head-butting reporters (abcn.ws/iQW6uF), attempting to rebrand the BP disaster the “Obama Oil Spill,” dubbing the TSA his “bastard little child” (bit.ly/jFeleM) and for a particularly peevish appearance on “The Colbert Report” (bit.ly/k5rFKb) — exudes like a blowout. Perhaps his special blend of disdain for non-corporate interests and his brazen servicing of moneyed special interests deserves its own appellation: Micanthropy.

Anne Schindler themail@folioweekly.com

Read the full Transportation for America report at bit.ly/j8Pwq5

Joy of Opera

While reading Susan Cooper Eastman’s story of Jim Miller’s Pahayokee, “Phantom of the Opera” (Cover Story, Feb. 22), I decided to attend the performance at the Friday Musicale. It reminded me of just how much Folio Weekly means to this community.

Your story displayed a side of Jim that I had never met, even though he prevailed in a civil court appeal for me.

Thank you for your “open-minded” approach to the printing of news.

Bill Basford, Attorney at Law Jacksonville

Mistakes Were Made

To your list of visions that were supposed to “revitalize” or “energize” our city (Editor’s Note, May 17), you might have added Imeson Industrial Park. Sent any friends out there to find a job lately?

We can continue to hope that Cecil Field bears a much better long-term future. But one must wonder about the long-term (recessionproof) payroll that the Navy would have brought, and whether, given the industrial and business endeavors we’ve invested in so far, we could have prevented their leaving, or brought them back.

The continued failure to use Jacksonville’s location and ample natural resources effectively and productively remains puzzling.

Recently, the question has been, “Where are the jobs?” But the question that might serve our city better would be for the business community to begin asking, “Where are the customers, and what has any of the recent legislation and effort by government done at the state and local level done to bring customers and sales?”

Larry Osborne Via email

Land of the (Drug) Free

Governor Rick Scott has approved a drugtesting law that will require anyone receiving public assistance to be drug-tested four times

a year. The recipient will be required to pay p for the test. If they pass, they will be b reimbursed. If they fail, they will be cut c off from assistance, their children will w be taken from them and they will become homeless. b If politicians require this of the poor who are citizens, then why can’t p the poor require politicians to do the same?

This idea to control the poor is a tool to set them up in a silent trap of genocide. Any medication can be considered a drug and corruptions can develop in order to railroad the poor into desperation to be imprisoned. Those who have drug problems will not get the help they need. Instead, all poor people getting food stamps will be accused of a crime before the fact.

I have never in my life done drugs or even smoked a cigarette. I resent this false accusation requiring me to prove my innocence. Anyone can fall on hard times and have to apply for food stamps. Does that mean they are all potential drug users?

Land of freedom? For who?

Simmone Liberty Jacksonville

Mr. Brown, Downtown

As an African-American male, this election has shown that Jacksonville has matured.

I hope Mr. Brown can create a political persona that will match the spirit and essence of Jacksonville.

We are not Atlanta, we are not Orlando, we are not Miami; we are a proud, distinctive and spiritual community that has lacked leadership to unite us and excite us about our potential in Florida.

Jacksonville has continued to grow into a community that is embracing its diversity and understands that in order to grow into a progressive 21st-century metropolis, it is time for a new course of thinking, a new path for leadership and providing an opportunity for someone (Alvin Brown) with a new vision to lead our community.

I hope Mr. Brown can create a political persona that will match the spirit and essence

MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 5

9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 Phone: 904.260.9770 Fax: 904.260.9773 e-mail: info@folioweekly.com website: folioweekly.com PUBLISHER David Brennan dbrennan@folioweekly.com • ext. 130

Editorial of Jacksonville. We are not Atlanta, we are not Orlando, we are not Miami; we are a proud, distinctive and spiritual community that has lacked leadership to unite us and excite us about our potential in Florida. The “old ways” of gender and race selectivity for business, the good ol’ boy network has grown old and outdated.

I and all of Jacksonville have high expectations for Mr. Brown. As an educator, I would like Mr. Brown and his staff to set aside time in their schedule to visit schools and talk to students to inspire and encourage them to be successful. No longer does the Mayor need to be in a glass house. Our mayor should be visiting, inspiring, promoting, modeling and uniting educational vision for all our students.

There are no longer excuses for why our young men and women cannot be successful. Here is an example of an AfricanAmerican man who wants to look beyond color, cultural and ethnic lines, and has a desire to unite us.

There should be no more excuses, no more deception, no more blame, no more giving up, no more dropping out. Now our young people have role models from all who participated to make this a historic event.

William Jackson and Cheryl Williams Jacksonville

Who are these voters and why are we “waiting for them”? The polls closed at 7 p.m. Why did Jacksonville go to sleep not knowing who their new mayor was?

Design ART DIRECTOR Jessica Wyatt • jwyatt@folioweekly.com • ext. 116 GRAPHIC DESIGNER Aaron Bromirski • abromirski@folioweekly.com • ext. 122 GRAPHIC DESIGN INTERNS Michelle McCallister, Staci Maloney

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Many Unhappy Returns

The latest voting debacle here in Jacksonville can give the past Floridian “hanging chads” a run for its title of most bizarre voter issue.

Am I the only voice I hear regarding an election that took three days to call? How about a supervisor/emperor of elections who is still awaiting (it was 12, now it’s 6) to-becertified signatures? Who are these voters and why are we “waiting for them”? The polls closed at 7 p.m. Why did Jacksonville go to sleep not knowing who their new mayor was?

Carol Cromwell-Ierna Jacksonville

6 | folio weekly | MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011

EDITOR Anne Schindler • themail@folioweekly.com • ext. 115 PHOTO EDITOR Walter Coker • wcoker@folioweekly.com • ext. 117 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Dan Brown • dbrown@folioweekly.com • ext. 128 STAFF WRITER Susan Cooper Eastman • sceastman@folioweekly.com • ext. 132 COPY EDITOR Marlene Dryden • mdryden@folioweekly.com • ext. 131 CARTOONISTS Derf, Tom Tomorrow CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Reyan Ali, Susan Clark Armstrong, Philip Booth, John E. Citrone, Hal Crowther, Julie Delegal, Joe Eknaian, Marvin R. Edwards, John Freeman, AG Gancarski, Dan Hudak, Shelton Hull, Steve Humphrey, MaryAnn Johanson, Danny Kelly, Keith Marks, Pat McLeod, Nick McGregor, mikewindy, Kara Pound, Alan Sculley, Christopher Shanley, Chuck Shepherd, Cole Smithey, Leah Weinberg and P.F. Wilson EDITORIAL INTERN Sarah Horton VIDEOGRAPHER Doug Lewis

If you would like to respond to something that appeared in Folio Weekly, please send a signed letter (no anonymous or pseudonymous mail will be printed) along with address and phone number (for verification purposes only) to themail@folioweekly.com or THE MAIL, Folio Weekly, 9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256. Letters may be edited for space and clarity.

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Folio Weekly is published every Tuesday throughout Northeast Florida.

It contains opinions of contributing writers that are not necessarily the opinion of this publication. Folio Weekly welcomes both editorial and photographic contributions. Calendar information must be received three weeks in advance of event date. Copyright © Folio Publishing, Inc. 2011. All rights reserved. Advertising rates and information are available on request. An advertiser purchases right of publication only. One free copy per person. Additional copies and back issues are $1 each at the office or $4 by mail, based on availability. First Class mail subscriptions are $48 for 13 weeks, $96 for 26 weeks and $189 for 52 weeks. Please recycle Folio Weekly. Folio Weekly is printed on recycled paper using soy-based inks.

44,200 press run • Audited weekly readership 110,860

Who’s The Boss?

Mayor Peyton’s on-again, off-again chief of staff continues to shill for his former master, Gov. Rick Scott

W

hen the subject is Florida Gov. Rick Scott, Adam Hollingsworth tweets exuberantly and often.

Hollingsworth — who left the Jacksonville Mayor’s Office to work as a liaison between Scott and the state GOP, and later led Scott’s transition team — has been back in the City Hall saddle for four months now. But he continues to be a relentless booster and occasional apologist for Scott. He says he’s no longer on Scott’s payroll.

But he continues to advocate Scott’s agenda of slashing budgets and cutting programs, even as his hometown faces fallout from those choices, including millions in cuts to education, social services and health care.

The frequency of Hollingsworth’s Scottrelated tweets — mostly untroubled by any

who aren’t here [to lure jobs to Florida].”

When Scott rejected $2.4 billion in federal funding for high-speed rail between Tampa and Orlando, many local lawmakers, transportation officials and logistics experts questioned why he’d turn down federal money that would just go to another state’s projects, especially when Scott was promising to create 700,000 jobs in seven years. Not Hollingsworth. “We need port funding, not high-speed rail,” he tweeted on March 1.

“That will put Florida back to work.”

Hollingsworth took an unpaid leave of absence from his job as Peyton’s chief of staff in September to work for the Republican Party of Florida as a liaison between the party and Rick Scott’s campaign. (A liaison was

Hollingsworth says the dual roles aren’t a problem.

“Anyone who knows me knows I have a level of indefatigable energy,” he says. “I’m able to manage lots of balls.” mention of Peyton Administration business — seem like nothing so much as a talking points memo. Take, for example, a handful of tweets from the days before the Jacksonville election: • Looking forward to speaking tonight @FFYRAnnual2011. I’ll be talking about @FLGovScott’s promises kept. Should be fun! (May 14) • Congrats @FFYRAnnual2011 on great annual mtg. Good to see old friends and make new ones. Enjoyed talking about @FLGovScott’s promises kept. (May 15) • Enjoying a great day at the PLAYERS with my wife. (May 15) • I’ll be on 89.9FM at 9am with @MelissainJax and @AbelHarding, talking about @FLGovScott’s promises kept. (May 16) • Looking forward to being with Hillsborough REC tonight...talking about @FLGovScott’s promises kept! (May 17) Hollingsworth’s public appearances are similarly packed with pro-Scott rhetoric. “This governor is going to transform education,” he boasted in an interview on Melissa Ross’s “First Coast Connect” WJCT radio talk show. “I can tell you that this governor gets up every single morning and he calls the CEOs of companies

needed after the bruising Republican primary caused a huge rift between Scott and GOP leadership.) He was recruited to the task by Scott’s campaign manager, Susie Wiles, Peyton’s former communications manager who worked alongside Hollingsworth on Peyton’s first campaign and at one time co-owned a public relations firm with him. Hollingsworth returned to the Mayor’s Office after Scott won election on Nov. 2, but six days later extended his leave of absence for two months, in order to work as senior advisor to Scott’s transition team at a salary of $1,000 a day. Hollingsworth previously worked on the staffs of U.S. Rep. Charlie Bennett (D-Jacksonville), Mayor Ed Austin and U.S. Rep. Corrine Brown (D-Jacksonville).

It’s not clear how much Hollingsworth’s individual efforts are benefiting the governor.

Scott’s disapproval ratings have soared, from 22 percent in February to 57 percent last week. But Hollingsworth’s continued shilling for the state’s top executive raises the question of whether he can serve two masters, particularly if they have opposing interests. For instance, Peyton has been putting together a package of $65 million in budget cuts and possible revenue increases, including raising property taxes to preserve basic government services, while Scott is ferociously

MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 7

NewsBuzz NewsBuzz anti-tax, even if it means delivering crippling cuts to education and community services.

“Obviously, there could be a conflict of interest if he is trying to be a mouthpiece for Scott and work for the city,” says Victor Wilhelm Jr., president of the Concerned Taxpayers of Duval County Inc. “But he doesn’t seem to have a problem with conflicts of interest.”

Matthew Corrigan, chairman of the Department of Politic Science and Public Administration at UNF, disagrees. He says that if Hollingsworth’s dual role doesn’t bother Peyton — and “Apparently, it doesn’t” — it’s not an issue.

For his part, Hollingsworth says he speaks on behalf of Scott because he can talk about how the governor’s policies affect Jacksonville. “I believe in what the governor and his team are doing and I continue to be an advocate for his policies,” he says. And Hollingsworth denies that there’s any inherent conflict. “Anyone who knows me knows I have a level of indefatigable energy. I’m able to manage lots of balls, but my passion and commitment for this governor is not detracting

from my role as chief of staff for this mayor.”

But some observers have wondered if Hollingsworth, given his four-month absence, is somewhat less essential than his title suggests. Wilhelm says that if Peyton could run the city for four months without his help, it’s further proof that Peyton’s office is top-heavy with highly paid administrators.

Former mayoral contender Mike Hogan raised similar concerns in a candidate interview with the Concerned Taxpayers of Duval County Candidate Committee.

“Obviously, if Adam Hollingsworth can take leave of absence for four months and go work for Rick Scott and his campaign — and he gets $170,000 plus benefits?” asked Hogan. “I could cut his mayoral staff in half.”

Hogan, whose bid for mayor was unsuccessful, won’t have that chance. On the other hand, when the outgoing mayoral administration wraps up on June 30, Hollingsworth will likely find a soft landing spot in the administration of the current governor.

Susan Cooper Eastman sceastman@folioweekly.com

Urine Trouble “I wasn’t going to piss in the dish I’m eating from.”

— Jacksonville psychiatrist Mohamed Saleh, explaining why he praised his then-boss, River Point Behavioral Health, when he was interviewed for a Folio Weekly profile (“Searching for Dr. Detox,” May 10, bit.ly/jRZYtq), despite the fact that he believes the facility does not provide quality patient care. Saleh, who served as River Point’s medical director until Folio Weekly’s cover story was published, made his comment after being fired by River Point’s board of directors because (according to Saleh) they were doing “damage control” in the wake of the article.

When Animals Attack “If they went after people, it would be easier for us to catch them.”

— Jacksonville Animal Care and Protective Services Division Chief Scott Trebatoski, questioning whether allegedly aggressive roosters and/or chickens were really threatening people, as some have claimed.

Folio Weekly learned about the alleged poultry attacks from District 7 City Councilmember Johnny Gaffney, who told us more than a month ago that he’d complained about aggressive roosters attacking children in the Talleyrand area. Gaffney, who suffers from a mild case of alektorophobia (fear of chickens), got no traction on his complaint. It wasn’t until city Public Information Officer Jennifer Savage was asked to check into Folio Weekly’s inquiry about the menacing birds that two officers from Animal Care & Protective Services were dispatched to surrounding streets, from Talleyrand and Buffalo avenues, where they removed the five rogue roosters.

Shuttle launch, Vilano Beach, May 16

Bouquets to Northeast Florida mail carriers for collecting and hauling some 20,000 pounds of food to help feed the needy. Mail carriers collected the food on their routes, and delivered it to the Beaches Emergency Assistance Ministry (BEAM) as part of the May 14 Stamp Out Hunger Food Drive.

Brickbats to the Clay County Board of Commissioners for rushing through as a legislative “emergency” a zoning change that will put three Wells Road clubs out of business. According to the zoning change adopted 4-0 last week, bars more than 4,750 square feet will be banned from Wells Road after five years. Until then, the clubs will have to cease selling liquor at 11 p.m. The board says it took up the change as an emergency because it had already truncated liquor sales effective June 1 and wanted the zoning change in place by then. Declaring an emergency meant the county wasn’t required to notify the three businesses of the changes the county adopted.

Bouquets to Melinda Rackoncay, president of the Nelmar Terrace Neighborhood Association, St. Augustine’s latest addition to the National Register for Historic Places.

Rackoncay has spent the past 30 years heroically defending her neighborhood from intrusion by the Florida School for the Deaf and the Blind’s constant expansion. The latest battle she is leading involves the historic Collins House (circa 1924).

8 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011

O Brother, Where Art Thou?

A mansion, a yacht and luxury amenities — Among the perks Jax entrepreneur Robert Thomas would like to offer members of “Jacksonville’s Post College Frat,” a business he hopes to start. For a flat fee of $300 a month, Thomas, manager of the CoMergent Acquisition Group, told Folio Weekly that he’d offer a frat house experience to post-grad “grownups.” Though he’s chosen a town without much of a Greek undergrad life in which to launch his big-boy frat, he apparently knows that one’s thirst for tap beer, date rape and hilarious hazing rituals can never be truly slaked.

© 2011

FolioWeekly

MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 9

NewsBuzz Body Double That wasn’t Bill Maher roaming the aisles of Lowe’s in a raggedy T-shirt and paint-splattered Levis a couple of weeks ago. Nor was it Maher playing the slots at Allied Veterans Internet cafe on Normandy Boulevard the weekend before Maher’s appearance at The Florida Theatre. Jacksonville construction worker James Acton gets mistaken for Maher a lot, though, and he planned to use that mix-up to his advantage at Maher’s recent show. Acton told Folio Weekly he’d dress in a gray suit, white dress shirt and red tie and greet the audience on the steps of The Florida Theatre.

Ever Vigilant! (starting now) “We need to get the show rolling.”

— St. Augustine City Manager John Regan demanding action from the private nonprofit First America Foundation, the group the city tasked with managing its 450th anniversary celebration. Although Regan was a big defender of the group in July 2010 — and the city’s decision to give the group $275,0000 in seed money on little more than a handshake — he and other city officials are now expressing concern. Nearly a year after the group formed, it has made little discernable progress, still does not have a strategic plan or any corporate sponsors lined up, and hasn’t progressed significantly with any commemoration plans. Regan told the city commission he was advocating “a major policy shift” in light of the group’s failings. “We cannot remain with the status quo.” (For the record, Folio Weekly flagged this boneheaded contract 10 months ago. See News, Aug. 17, 2010 http://bit.ly/eUMVDh)

Streetwalking to...Promote Escorts?

Props to our pal (and former FW employee) Jeff Piercey for sending us this photo. Taken at the corner of J. Turner Butler Boulevard and Bonneval Road last Monday at 6:15 p.m. or so, the sandwich board advertises “Analee’s Escorts” (not, as some have read, “anal eese”). Presumably she won’t get fired for texting on the job?

Prine Suspect “Apparently someone came in the wee hours of Sunday morning and pulled the whole brick out.”

— Katie Barry, director of communications at The Florida Theatre, on the stolen John Prine brick that once helped pave the entrance to the theater. According to Barry, the brick (signed by Prine) was stolen the night of the John Prine/Kris Kristofferson concert. The theater will eventually replace the brick with another signed version.

10 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011

Scone Wolf L

ook, guys! In case you haven’t noticed, I have some opinions about things! For example: scones. Who was the freaking idiot who invented scones? THEY’RE TERRIBLE. I refuse to do any research on this — because it’s not gonna change my opinion — but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that scones were invented in 1872 by the French baker Pierre L’Idiot, who left stale bread out on his counter for two weeks, but instead of throwing it away said, “Sacre Bleu! I will sell zis stale bread to zee Americain toureests, and tell them eet iz zee cookeee! And zen?

Because zee Americains love everyzing FRANCH, zey will be too embarrassment to admit zat zee cookeee tastes like merde!”

Rest assured, I have a lot more to say about scones — and how they taste like Duraflame logs — but I’ve decided to stay on topic, and talk about a new TV show debuting this week (which I also have opinions about!), “Teen Wolf ” (MTV, special two-part debut, Sunday & Monday, June 5 & 6, 11 p.m.).

Here’s my opinion: It’s gonna stink …

SEXY. On the “stink” side, it has almost ZERO in common with the 1985 classic of the same name. First of all, it doesn’t star Michael J. Fox. Second, it also doesn’t star Jason Bateman, who was in 1987’s “Teen Wolf, Too.” Instead, it stars some young twerp named Tyler Posey. (Just my opinion, but I’d kill myself if I had that name.) Third of all, the new teen wolf doesn’t even play basketball — he plays lacrosse! This game sounds like it was invented by Pierre L’Idiot — but was actually conceived by Native Americans (only because they didn’t know how to play basketball.)

Whatever … WEREWOLVES DON’T PLAY LACROSSE, YO. They make up cool “wolf ” dances at the prom, ride on the tops of vans while “Surfin’ USA” plays in the background and most importantly, WIN CHAMPIONSHIP BASKETBALL GAMES. On the other hand, one would never want to make out with the 1985 teen wolf.

He looked like a walking moustache — Tom Selleck’s, to be exact. That’s too hairy for me.

I’d much rather swap spit with something like Sandra Bullock’s moustache.

And that is why I’m kind of into this new, sexy-fied 2011 “Teen Wolf.” Instead of all the hilarious hijinx, this version has a “Twilight” vibe — except with WAY more sex, and WAY less Mormon undertones. Tyler Posey (UGH!!! Change your name, idiot!) plays Scott McCall, a young outsider who goes wandering around in the woods one night, and — CHOMP! — gets snacked on by a werewolf ! Naturally, Scott becomes a werewolf, too, which causes all sorts of teen drama: While his lacrosse skills may have improved, being a werewolf is ruining his love life with new school hottie Allison (Crystal Reed), which is just fine and dandy with her dad who’s — wait for it — a professional werewolf hunter (and kind of a dick)!

So even though the new “Teen Wolf ” is gonna stink, it’s a sexy stink, which I will take any day over a scone. WHICH IS THE MOST DESPICABLE COOKIE IN THE WORLD! Curse you, Pierre L’Idiot! CURSE … YOU!!

TUESDAY, MAY 31 8:00 NBC AMERICA’S GOT TALENT Season premiere! The Hoff and company return to judge the modern day version of the circus freak show.

10:00 DSC DECEPTION WITH KEITH BARRY Debut! “Mentalist” Keith Barry explores the art of deception. You’re not tricking me into watching this, dude!

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 1 10:00 NBC LOVE IN THE WILD Debut! In this new reality show, singles hook up in the jungle. Now they can get malaria as well as herpes!

10:00 OXY THE WORLD ACCORDING TO PARIS Debut! Paris Hilton returns with another reality show, and desperately needs a new catchphrase other than “That’s hot.” How about “That’s tepid!”

THURSDAY, JUNE 2 10:00 ABC LOVE BITES Debut! “Loosely connected tales of love, sex and romance from the creator of ‘Sex and the City.’”

SHE … MUST … BE … STOPPED!!

Midnight TOON CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL Season premiere! A brand new season of the hee-larious “Grey’s Anatomy” parody, helmed by Rod Corddry!

FRIDAY, JUNE 3 8:00 NBC FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS Eric worries he’s losing control of the Lions, Becky enters a pageant and … Zzzzzzzzzzz Huh? Oh. Sorry.

10:30 IFC WHITEST KIDS U’KNOW More surreal sketch hilarity — tonight addressing such topics as “the future” and “adults dressing as babies.”

SATURDAY, JUNE 4 8:00 NBC STANLEY CUP FINALS Game one in the series, featuring the Boston Meatheads vs. the Tampa Bay Toothless.

8:00 FAM THE SIXTH SENSE Movie (1999) “I smell dead people.” Wait … there’s nothing special about that, is there?

SUNDAY, JUNE 5 9:00 MTV 2011 MTV MOVIE AWARDS If the Justin Bieber 3-D movie doesn’t sweep every category, I will go on a killing spree.

10:00 ANI FINDING BIGFOOT Debut! A new reality show about Sasquatch hunters. Sorry, Yeti, your show on TLC wasn’t picked up.

11:00 MTV TEEN WOLF Debut! An unpopular teen gets bitten by a werewolf, and the next day grows pubes.

COINCIDENCE??

MONDAY, JUNE 6 8:00 ABC THE BACHELORETTE The boys stage a comedy roast at Ashley’s expense, who cuts the field of bachelors down from 15 to ZERO. 9:00 FAM SWITCHED AT BIRTH Debut! Two teens discover they were “switched at birth” and (surprise!) the “poor one” isn’t very happy about it!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey steve@portlandmercury.com MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 11

Sportstalk

Sports Shorted

The next administration will be forced to align the new reality with the old paradigm

W

e in Duval just wrapped up a mayoral election that was historic in many senses.

Historic, in that the loser brought together a coalition featuring Tea Partiers and public-sector unions, and lost anyway due to a penchant for skirting public appearances that rivaled that of the late Howard Hughes. Historic also in that an African-American bucked all odds and won a campaign in a city where most of the skeptics, including me, didn’t think it could be done.

These are historic times, and one thing abundantly clear is that the old ways of doing business are as defunct as mix tapes and mood rings. We’ve elected a Democrat for the first time since Ed Austin was chosen, but those expecting a renaissance of activist government might want to consider the non-negotiable reality that the city is broke.

Those who are surprised, at this late date, by the current estimates of a $90.1 million

equity, while preserving the “money” sports, football and basketball.

There are some who will miss slow-pitch softball, lacrosse and tennis. But who, besides the parents of the athletes, went to watch them?

Been to a wrestling match lately?

Alvin Brown was elected for a few reasons.

One of which is that he ran a real grassroots campaign, spearheaded by a sense of urgency among Jacksonville’s younger progressives, coupled with a sense that the new reality wouldn’t be met by someone like Mike Hogan, who couldn’t even debate more than once; how could he be trusted to guide Jacksonville through the kinds of storms that the school sports budget slashing is causing?

A pay-to-play system, suggested here weeks ago, might be a partial remedy. There are those who claim that athletes can’t come up with the money. While I understand that caveat, there is

What is striking about the recent program cuts on the table is that, as far as it looks, the items left service seasonal and gender equity, while preserving the “money” sports, football and basketball.

12 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011

shortfall in the Duval County School Budget simply haven’t been paying attention these last few years. Why might the schools “teach to the tests”? Why is it that many rookie teachers feel they are more likely to get assaulted on campus than make any breakthrough with their students? Why has the operating principle become to do less with more?

Is it by choice? Are politicians just fans of austerity for austerity’s sake? It would be nice to think that they were motivated by anything so lofty as a first principle like that. No, in 2011 they are as they have always been — brazen opportunists, to a man, looking to pass the blame on and distribute impact, always, outside their perceived constituencies.

We shouldn’t be surprised that Rick Scott signed off on a bill authorizing draconian cuts to the education budget. That’s what he was elected to do — to run the state like a 21st century business, with all that that implies. But could cuts have been avoided if Sink had been elected, or if Crist had stuck around? That, in Duval County, is the $90M question — one that Alvin Brown inherits, even though the functions of the School Board and the mayor’s office are largely discrete.

These are different times. Non-traditional times. What is striking about the recent program cuts on the table is that, as far as it looks, the items left service seasonal and gender

a long history of evidence to the contrary.

Perhaps part of playing high school sports — even the ones yet to be cut — should be that the athletes must fundraise to meet their participation fees. How can they do that?

Selling candy bars, having car washes, mowing lawns, doing public service work — all of these are options.

What isn’t an option, though, is pretending that the revenue boost enjoyed by government when property values were jacked up will ever happen again. These are different times, and they require real leadership. Reaction to the education budget slash likely constitutes the first real crisis of the Brown administration, and it requires an energetic, pre-emptive response. Failure to act and speak harsh truths constitutes acceptance of failure, and sets a chilling tone.

There are those who believe that, in the grand scheme of things, sports aren’t all that important. There are also those who believe that many at-risk students will leave school if organized sports aren’t the carrot to the stick of compulsory education. Both camps see what they want to see. The reality is, if the people want sports, it can be done — as long as the budgeting process is rooted in today’s realities rather than shrouded in yesterday’s gauze.

AG Gancarski themail@folioweekly.com

MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011 | folio weekly | 13

Put the bone in: Tree Trimmer negotiates a peaceful settlement.

M VET A ’N A IS S T N E UAL RESID S U N U Y N A M S ’ HNS RIVER WAUKEE O IL J M .

T D L S E O H D T L O G C N AMO AND ICEE L T R U T R O F E T WITH A TAS ElleViLlE By bill b

This essay, originally titled “Riverkeeping with Tree,” appeared as a chapter in Bill Belleville’s new book “Salvaging the Real Florida: Lost and Found in the State of Dreams” (University of Florida Press, $24.95).

T

he upper river of the St. Johns is altogether a separate place, wide marshes and big skies, airboats and gators, and so many braided, shallow channels that I usually spend as much time getting lost there as not. Maps of a century ago don’t even show much of the river at all below Lakes Monroe, Harney and Jesup, even though it extends southward beyond there for another hundred miles or so.

My friend Michelle is on a quest to paddle and chronicle all of the hundreds of miles of this complex river system for a documentary film she’s shooting. I sometimes come along, sherping kayaks from car top to water, and once in a while, I paddle. Today is one of those rare times. The channel isn’t dredged or marked down here, so paying attention to navigation is essential. We’re low tech and sort of snobbish about it, preferring a compass and map over a GPS. Besides, even when electronically charted, the channel can transform, 14 | folio weekly | MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011

reinventing itself overnight. So we’ve brought along a good topo map, camping gear, some food and drinking water. You realize how little you actually need to sustain yourself when you have to physically paddle all of it in and out of any place.

Earlier in her trip, Michelle navigated Puzzle Lake in a kayak by herself down here. But in doing so, she ran across a Vietnam vet who was getting ready to set up camp out in the marsh that is Puzzle. The vet, who likes to go by his old CB handle of

for any single person to be camped out in their forest. When she first spotted Tree from her kayak, he had broken down his entire camp and was floating it on a jumble of wooden pallets and buckets and canoes out toward Puzzle Lake, pushing it along with a small aluminum skiff powered by a gasoline kicker.

Atop the moving flotsam flew a small, black “POW-MIA” flag.

To her, Tree looked like a guy who’d been camping out for 20 years — deeply tanned with wild, sun-bleached beard and hair

Tree spent 20 years camping on the Econlockhatchee River.

But much of the Econ is state forest, and officials finally decided that 20 years was long enough for someone to camp out there.

“Tree Trimmer,” had just finished an extended 20-year camping excursion on the nearby Econlockhatchee River, a tributary of the St. Johns. But much of the Econ is in a state forest, and officials there finally decided that 20 years was long enough

frizzed out as if he’d just been struck by lightning. Sure, he was raw — neither practiced nor socialized — but there was also something intriguing about him that begged for a closer look.

“He just seemed like a guy who would know a lot about the

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Filmmaker Michelle Thatcher, paddling into Puzzle Lake.

Thatcher’s film, “Alligator Princess of America’s Nile,” which author Belleville scripted, is currently in post-production.

(Check out a preview of the film at http://bit.ly/iZUIII)

river,” Michelle had told me. “I really want to go back out and see if I can find him on Puzzle Lake, and shoot some footage of him.”

Having a guy living off the land in modern Florida had great appeal to me, for all the obvious reasons. Still, there was that great unknown factor — after all, this wasn’t a movie character from central casting, but a fleshand-blood ménage of a half-wild man who took more comfort surviving in the marsh and swamp than in a condo. And there were all those Vietnam memories that had been simmering in a hot Florida wilderness for the last two decades.

A single gal in a single kayak spending any time in a remote place with a war-torn Grizzly Adams was ripe for possibilities, and not all of them artistic. And so I came along — part paddling buddy, part chaperone. As a guy who doesn’t put a lot of value on mainstream socialization, I had to admit I was looking forward to learning a bit about the inimitable river world of a man who called himself “Tree.”

Tree’s biggest compromise with civilization seemed to be the use of a cell phone. (It’s an image that’s hard for me to shake, like trying to imagine the crazed and reclusive Col. Kurtz from “Apocalypse Now” surfing the Internet.)

But the phone comes in handy for us today: This stretch of the river is, after all, named “Puzzle” and without help, Tree’s new camp will be nearly impossible to find. So Michelle calls en route to let him know we’re headed his way. Tree suggests we meet him at the county launch ramp called Hatbill Park, on a slice of water and land about eight miles south of S.R. 46, the east-west road that bisects the St. Johns valley here. He also suggested we bring along a 12-pack of Old Milwaukee and bags of ice. In turn, he would cook us a dinner of fresh-caught soft-shell turtle and catfish, maybe some young and tender gator if he could land one in time.

Hatbill is one of those parks where mostly country folks come to launch motor or airboats, or just hang out and fish from the marshy shores. There are no fancy playgrounds or pavilions, just one lone Port-o-Let. To the east of us are a straggle of “lakes” connected to the St. Johns by a series of obscure creeks and cuts — Loughman and Clark, Ruth and Salt lakes. Like the rest of the Puzzle Lake complex, they are less true lakes than wide and shallow depressions

where the river simply puddles up in the landscape. Down here, ancient connate seawater, trapped in the aquifer when the basement of Florida was being formed by the sedimentation of the sea, seeps up through sandy river bottoms, sometimes changing the equation of the rain-fed marshwater so that it’s more brackish than not.

While it does this via a few springs to the north of here — such as Salt Springs, Croaker Hole in Little Lake George, and Island Spring in the Wekiva River — those point sources deliver the very old seawater through definable “vents” in the limestone. The dynamic of the prehistoric salt upwelling is far more subtle here.

We arrive at Hatbill by mid-morning. By the time we have our kayaks off the car and loaded with our gear, Tree comes puttering around a narrow slice of river in his battered aluminum V-hull boat. His black lab, Gator, has its forelegs up in the bow seat like an organic figurehead.

Tree drives his bow up on the sandy shore, and Michelle introduces us. We offload the brew and ice to his boat, and decide to tie her ’yak to Tree’s V-hull for most of the three miles to his camp. I decide to settle into my own kayak and paddle for most of the distance, because it will make me feel good to do so. The aluminum boat is so loaded down that Tree’s top speed is close to my own — about four to five miles an hour.

There are no other paddlers on the river today. It’s sunny and clear, and very invigorating to be here. The air is clean and feels good when I breathe it in deeply. As I do, I imagine there is the slightest scent of the ocean in it, a memory from the prehistoric sea water. But this notion may be more in my mind than in my senses. Over the next hour or so, five or six airboats zoom past us, frothing up the water and making it tremble beneath my hull. We round a sandy point with the sun-bleached bones of an alligator, and another with a newly dead cow, legs up in the air, running forever. Right off another tiny cape, four baby gators hang in the water, just their heads out, watching us with that timeless reptilian gaze.

Since the journey is mostly tight oxbows interspersed with an occasional wide bend, it’s hard, really, to get too much momentum going.

Finally, we see the black “MIA-POW” flag flying over the high marsh grass, and after one more oxbow round of marsh, come on the camp itself.

Tree has a small generator, a propane camp

© 2011

MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011 | folio weekly | 15

Fo

stove and a large cooler stocked with chunks of bacon. Several blue plastic tarps cover three separate tents that, together, make up the camp: One to sleep in, one for storage and a large open one for cooking and hanging out. Feathers and bones are scattered everywhere, including a pelican skull sticking out of a hollow tent post, and several large cow femurs.

“I collect ’em,” explains Tree.

There is a fire ring and piles of hard wood, already cut. The ice is already starting to melt, so the first thing we do is transfer it and the beer to the large white cooler.

A few small cedar and spindly willows grow here and there in the flat prairie around us, but nothing large enough to count on for firewood.

Tree brings in supplies, like wood from Hatbill, or he trades with airboaters for what he needs.

On the trades, cigarettes, beer, quarts of cole slaw and potato salad and ice come in; gator, turtle and catfish meat go out. Except for the cooler and generator, Tree found most of the other components of his camp along the river banks, or floating in the water.

I notice Gator is wearingproof two collars, this is a copyright protected © and ask about this. Tree tells me this is actually Gator II. His predecessor, Gator I, had been alive by a real 053111 gator. After tracking down our advertising representative at 260-9770.eatenrUn dAte: the culprit, Tree shot it, carved it up for meat LE AT 268-3655 and — out of its stomach — retrieved the collar.

II wearsby it as a Sales sort of memorial, Produced by abGator Checked Rep ec sUpport Ask for Action reminding Tree of the goodness of his former animal companion. We settle in, Michelle and I setting up our tents a hundred yards away atop a slightly higher bluff at the water’s edge. As we do, Tree goes about the business of checking various trotlines baited for whatever bites. I notice someone has given him a small white sign that looks professionally painted. Nailed to a post, it reads: “Tree’s Catfish House.”

Tree knocks back a few brews and then, after sharpening his ax, begins to clean a live soft-shell turtle. Music from a CD player powered by batteries is blaring, great old rock-n-roll from the Vietnam days: Jefferson Airplane, Jimi Hendrix, the Grateful Dead. Tree is now wearing only a pair of ragged, cut-off shorts and flip-flops. He “arrggs” a lot, not unlike a movie pirate, and throws back the cold beer as if it were water. The spectacle of him, half-buzzed, blood-splattered and bare-chested, swinging sharp hatchets and knives about to strains of “Stairway to Heaven” is a sight to behold. It’s not one that Florida tourist promoters would likely use as a lure on any of their manic, come-and-visit-us brochures.

We wash up with cool tannin river water and gather at Tree’s camp, sitting on lumps of wood or camp stools, and settle in for the late afternoon transformation of the wet prairie around us.

Roseate spoonbills and white pelicans glide over, and glossy ibises feed at the edge of the marsh in the golden afternoon light. An ancient grassy midden rises from the flat terrain to the west, as distinct as any Mayan temple against the pancake-flat terrain. I ask Tree about it, and he tells me the airboaters come there later at night and, with the strong aircraft props, blow their way up to the top. There, they stand and jowl, drinking beer. They call the venerable old midden “Bullshit Hill.” A smaller mound is just behind Tree’s camp, an assemblage of bone and snail shells, braided by the thatch of wild prairie grasses. I walk back there, finding small shards of pottery embedded throughout the surface.

Archaeologist Jefferies Wyman made it all the way through Puzzle Lake in a series of expeditions here in 1860, mapping out the most distinctive middens he found. I know he made it a bit farther south to “Bear” and “Orange”

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16 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011

mounds, where the composition of shell was so massive that great hardwood and palm hammocks grew atop it. But I’m unsure if he saw or bothered to explore these two smaller ones.

Tree, ever the compleat host, asks if we’re hungry and when we reply we are, he starts to roll slabs of reddish meat in corn meal, and then drops them to sizzle in a deep fryer. Michelle follows him closely with her camera, until, feigning anger, Tree begins to shoo her away with his cooking fork, saying she is interfering with

expansive as the prairie itself, and the man who lives in the midst of it all seems to have benefited from it. If insanity is being detached from the true nature of reality, then Tree is likely as sane as it gets. Back in the world, the charade of “manners” has played enormous tricks on folks, fooling so many into believing that the artificial landscape and its holographic culture are real.

In a few more minutes, Tree uses the large fork to stab the chunks of catfish and soft-shell turtle from the hot oil and puts them out to

Tree’s camp, located under a black “MIA-POW” flag, has a small generator, a propane camp stove and a large cooler stocked with chunks of bacon.

Feathers and bones are scattered everywhere. his art. Soon, the air is pungent with the scent of the simmering food. I let the gestalt of Tree fully settle in, and as I do, his generous, ragged spirit comforts me. There are no cheap shots here, none of the clever backstabbing that can punctuate our so-called civilized world. A smart man who had spent most of his life in academia once explained away that atmosphere as “The smaller the stakes, the larger the politics.” Out here on the wild Florida savannah, all of the stakes are big, as

drain on paper plates. I thought of the wonderful drawing William Bartram once made of the “great soft-shell tortoise” over 240 years ago when he visited Florida and lived off the land himself.

On his first journey into La Florida with his father John, Billy actually made it all the way here to Puzzle Lake. Seeing the massive and confusing sheet flow across the marsh, the naturalists decided this was the headwaters of the “grand and noble San Juan,” and after a night or two

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here, turned around. Helen Cruickshank, author of “Bartram in Florida,” examined John’s diary closely and figured the mound to the east where he reported spending the night was “Baxter’s Mound,” back near Hatbill. Today, a “Baxter’s Point” there has a few homes on it, most up on stilts for the inevitable rise of the river. Baxter’s is just south of Puzzle Lake, although still inside of a maze of creeks, ponds and marsh. Since we’ve lost at least half our historic wetlands, I figure there was simply more water in Florida then, too.

Had the Bartrams muddled south for a few miles, they might have found the upstream channel that led to the southernmost river, dilations mapped today as Lakes Washington, Poinsett, Winder, Saw Grass and Hell ’n Blazes. It is this upper river that is the most isolated of the entire system, veins of north-flowing rainwater surrounded by the natural sponge of the marsh.

It’s no wonder this is the only drinkable “Class One” quality water of the St. Johns, while most of the river north of here is suitable only for “Class Three” activities, such as boating. Puzzle Lake, which author Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings called “a blue smear in the marsh” when she got lost here in 1933, is the perfect habitat for the man I know as Tree Trimmer.

By now, the cooking oil has drained from our turtle and catfish onto the paper, and we each pile brown chunks of cooked meat onto our own plates, garnished with some French bread. I take a couple of bites — it’s wild and fresh and succulent — and sit back on my log. It’s quiet out here, and the low growl of a gator from somewhere near the next river bend is easy to hear.

The sun is now sinking into the horizon across the savannah, backlighting great pillars of clouds with shades of golden red. The columns of clouds appear like a nomadic army pushing its way across the great prairie, shoving every civilized thought and deed aside, leaving only the scent of sun-baked grasses and mild brine and the low rumble of alligators in its wake. Twilight out here is at once breathtaking, and — with dusky hints of the black, untamed night to come — full of ancient premonitions. I understand better why the Bartrams turned around.

In the few moments left between twilight and full dark, we hear the roar of an airboat from the south, and soon the craft itself approaches, skipping from cut to cut, sliding its sled-like hull over the slabs of low land in between. Tree knows who the airboaters are from this distance, some local twentysomething kids who have visited him before. Their airboat pushes in closer, blowing its way up on the

low bank where we’ve beached the kayaks.

The guys come over, bringing Tree more beer and ice, which seems to be the lingua franca of this place and this moment. He is glad to see them, but as soon as one stands between him and the last dim light of the departed sun, Tree pretends anger, shooing him away like he shooed Michelle earlier with the fork.

“You’re ruining my M-F-ing sunset,” he yells, and the kid moves without saying a word.

Soon it is full dark, and the stars appear, covering the sky from end to end. I shine my flashlight beam along the edge of the river and spot four sets of gator eyes, glowing red like the embers of our fire. The old Vietnam War field music comes back on, and we talk some more. I ask Tree about why he’s been living outside so long, and I get an answer that I expected. “I felt closed in after I came back from Vietnam,” he says. Living in a tent in the jungle for four years prepares a person to come to the edge of the wildest river he can find, and once there, to settle in.

It’s only 10 p.m. or so, but it seems much later, so we head for our sleeping bags. It’s warm tonight, and I simply sleep atop mine, leaving this is a copyright protected pro my rain fly off the tent so I can watch the stars through the mesh until I drift off. The dreams come quick, and seem to last most of the night.

For By the morning, we pack up,questions, chat a bit, say please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn dAte: 051711 goodbye. Tree offers to ferry us back to Hatbill, FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 with both of our kayaks tied to his boat. This Produced by ab Checked by Sales Re promise sUpport Ask for Action time, I don’t turn down the offer, and we’reof off,benefit zigzagging our way back through the blue smear of a marsh, until finally, we reach Hatbill. Along the way, Tree has stopped a few times to collect cans and trash he has found floating in the river, or tossed out from an airboat. When we pass the gator skeleton again, he stops to get the skull for his collection of feathers and bones.

Tree exists for now in a little time warp, insulated by the remoteness of place. I try to review all I have seen and heard over the last 24 hours. I end up thinking of Tree as a true American river character, maybe the result of what happens when Huck Finn goes to war and then comes home as a mad-sane drunken shaman. If Tree didn’t exist, author Tom Robbins would have to make him up.

Before we leave, I give Tree my new ball cap with the logo of the St. Johns Riverkeeper and a graphic of a belted kingfisher on it. He grins widely and thanks me. Goodbye for now, Tree.

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Bill Belleville themail@folioweekly.com

Author Bill Belleville. Excerpts of his previous book, “Losing It All To Sprawl,” appeared in the March 14, 2006 issue of Folio Weekly.

MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011 | folio weekly | 17

18 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011

CAKE WALK BUDDY VALASTRO

Have you been scorned for your obsession with German chocolate cake? When you see a “walnutfree” carrot cake, do you go into fits of aesthetic rage? America’s beloved baker Buddy Valastro brings his “Bakin’ with the Boss” tour to Northeast Florida at 7 p.m. on Sunday, June 5 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville.

The sweet event features the star of TLC’s “The Cake Boss” telling stories about his life and family, giving cooking demonstrations and answering questions from the audience. Hey, Buddy, can we lick that bourbon-infused frosting off the beater?

Tickets range from $25.75-$45.75. 630-3900.

SURE PICK

Reasons to leave the house this week

FRIDAY, JUNE 3

COMEDY FORREST SHAW

Up-and-coming funnyman Forrest Shaw spent a decade as a marine biologist before diving into the world of comedy. Since taking the plunge, the South Florida-based comedian has appeared on Comedy Central’s “Open Mic Fight,” “Las Vegas Comedy Festival Lucky 21” contest and was featured in this year’s “green” friendly All Organic Comedy Tour. Shaw performs at 7:45 p.m. on Thursday, June 2 through Saturday, June 4 at Latitude 30, 10370 Philips Highway, Jacksonville.

Tickets are $10 and $13. 365-5555.

PREFAB FOUR THE MONKEES

During the late ’60s, The Monkees was the first pop band that was “assembled” rather than formed, after two aspiring filmmakers wanted to create a TV show about a rock band. Every week, a generation too young to turn on or drop out, but old enough to tune in, followed the hippie hijinks of Davy Jones, Peter Tork, Micky Dolenz and Michael Nesmith. While many ’60s music fans snickered, the influence of the Prefab Four has been one of the weirdest in pop, with artists as divergent as Minor Threat and Run DMC covering and sampling their music. A lineup led by Jones, Tork and Dolenz performs at 8 p.m. on Monday, June 6 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville.

Tickets range from $45-$103.50. 355-2787.

CLASSICAL COUNTRY

“Them ain’t violins. They’s called fiddles!” The Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra teams up with three of country music’s chart-topping songwriters for a night of Music City Hit-Makers on Friday, June 3 at 8 p.m. at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Grammy winners Brett James, Hillary Lindsey and Gordie Sampson are the creative talents behind such country megahits as Carrie Underwood’s “Jesus, Take the Wheel,” Lady Antebellum’s “American Honey” and “Out Last Night” by that hunky podunk, Kenny Chesney. Tickets range from $18-$55. 354-5547.

CREATIVE STRUTTING ART WALK

The theme for June’s First Wednesday Art Walk is “Making Music,” and along with the usual galleries, museums, bars and eateries celebrating all things artistic, culture junkies can get their musical fix with performances ranging from the Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra to noise freaks Scared Rabbits. This monthly self-guided tour is held from 5-9 p.m. on Wednesday, June 1 in downtown Jacksonville.

Check out some highlights for June in our arts listings on page 34. 634-0303 ext. 230.

RIOT ACT DRAKE’S RAID

ABOUT TO POP DANCELL

For the last few years, local alternative-power-pop sextet Dancell has been tearing up the Northeast Florida club scene. Most recently, the authors of upbeat, feel-good rockers like “At It Again” and “One Moment Please” have played gigs throughout the state. Can mega stardom be far behind? They perform with Ten West, One Less Atlantic and Ark Harbour at 8 p.m. on Friday, June 3 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Tickets are $8. 246-2473.

On June 6, 1586, Sir Francis Drake led 19 ships, with crews of 2,000 Englishmen, in an attempt to take over St. Augustine. Though his effort failed, locals honor his memory four centuries later in our own special way: by eating turkey legs, drinking beer and talking in bad old-timey accents. Now in its 25th year, a historical re-enactment of Drake’s Raid is held on Saturday, June 4 all day throughout the city, featuring displays of armor and weaponry, period-era costumes and crafts. A “battle” between the Spanish and English is staged at 7 p.m. by the City Gates on Orange Street, located near the Visitors & Information Center.

829-9792.

MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011 | folio weekly | 19

Johnny Depp feels a sense of dread (locks) as Captain Jack Sparrow in the latest “Pirates” adventure.

Rogue Wave

Johnny Depp’s return as Captain Jack Sparrow keeps audiences from abandoning ship on “Pirates” franchise Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides **G@

Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd., WGHoF IMAX Theatre

J

©

ohnny Depp is the real deal, a film franchise unto himself. It’s difficult to imagine any other movie star today who is his equal in guaranteeing a movie’s financial success. Moreover, his range and versatility are remarkable. Who else could have played so well characters as diverse as Edward Scissorhands, the Mad Hatter, Sweeney Todd, Willy Wonka, the Libertine, Ichabod Crane, Gilbert Grape and Ed Wood? Even in a 2011 mediocre flick like “The Tourist,” he’s never less than interesting.

After his success in the first installment of the “Pirates of the Caribbean” series (which earned him an Oscar nomination), Depp has become a one-man goldmine for the Disney Corporation. It’s impossible to imagine the “Pirates” franchise with any other actor in the role. Without him, it’s likely the first “Pirates of

FolioWeekly

his lithesome daughter Angelica (Penelope Cruz), is on a quest to find the Fountain of Youth. So are the Spanish and the British, the latter commanded by Jack’s erstwhile nemesis Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush). Thoroughly incidental to the plot are zombies, apparently added for no other reason than their prominence in pop culture today. The zombies’ role here is practically meaningless, as are the roles of most of the supporting cast, especially the competing British and Spanish forces. All they add is bulk to an already over-strained plot.

The most original additions are the mermaids, introduced in the film’s single best sequence, in which the mythical beauties encounter the crews of Blackbeard and Barbossa. Newcomer Astrid Berges-Frisbey makes an auspicious debut as Syrena, one of the aquatic lovelies captured by Blackbeard for his own nefarious motives. Eventually, she’s paired off with the film’s new male heartthrob addition Philip (Sam Claflin), the two of them subbing for the romantic duo of Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley from the previous three films.

Director Rob Marshall, whose previous

The film seems like it was crafted by a committee anxious to capitalize on every marketing ploy, with little thought for a cohesive story or character development.

20 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011

the Caribbean” would’ve also been the last.

If the public relations buzz is to be believed, Depp agreed to star in “On Stranger Tides,” the fourth film in the catalogue, “before there was a script or anything.” Clearly, the resulting movie was fashioned solely around him. Not a bad thing, it might seem at first, given the actor’s charisma and the innate appeal of the idiosyncratic Capt. Jack Sparrow, a character who was largely of Depp’s own creation. But let’s not forget that countless other franchise figures — Superman, Batman, Tarzan, the Thin Man, Jason, Freddy — began to show signs of strain by their fourth films. The curse threatens Capt. Jack.

It’s not Johnny Depp’s fault. He’s great fun to watch, as are some of his castmates.

But a captain needs his ship, and an actor (no matter how charming) needs a good screenplay. And it’s on these treacherous shoals that the new (though probably not the last) “Pirates” sequel begins to founder.

The basic story would seem intriguing enough. Captain Jack, accompanied by Blackbeard the Pirate (Ian McShane) and

efforts include two musicals (“Chicago,” “Nine”) and “Memoirs of a Geisha,” is a decidedly odd choice to replace Gore Verbinski, who (along with Johnny Depp) was most responsible for the first three swashbuckling successes.

Marshall does just OK with the numerous action sequences, the notable exception being the stunning introduction of the mermaids.

For the rest of the time, however, he has to struggle to keep track of the many unlikely plot lines, particularly as the film lumbers toward its protracted and ludicrous conclusion.

In the end, “On Stranger Tides” seems like it was crafted by a committee anxious to capitalize on every marketing ploy, with little thought for a cohesive story and character development.

Johnny Depp — along with Ian McShane and to a lesser degree Penelope Cruz and Geoffrey Rush — still manages to rise above the flotsam and jetsam, but the “Pirates” franchise is looking a bit bloated. Maybe the crew can restore the magic for the inevitable sequel and keep this saga afloat.

Pat McLeod themail@folioweekly.com

Screen Savers

Folio Weekly celebrates this year’s Summer Movie Classics series

T

he staff here at Folio Weekly are hardly purists. We like a nice trending chunk dripping with fad-du-jour-hype-sauce as much as the next, uh, trendsetter. But it seems like every week there’s another remake, prequel, sequel or animated “geek”-quel clogging the once pristine bowels of the Hollywood moviemaking machinery. Even worse is the advent of the “IMAX-imizing” and “3-D-eification” of every film not nailed to the projector. And with the rumored green-lighting of such forthcoming cinematic atrocities as Francis Ford Coppola’s nine-hour-long “Apocalypse Now Redux — (Yet Again) in IMAX” and the Louie Anderson-driven PIXAR remake of “Ordinary People (in 3-D!!),” it’s becoming increasingly harder to wake up in the morning, roll over and swallow our governmentmandated medications.

Thankfully, The Florida Theatre is offering another season of its Summer Movie Classics Series , to remind us of those simpler times when movies were original, penny chews only cost a nickel and Justin Bieber wasn’t even a mad gleam in a drunken Canuck’s eye.

From Bogie and The Band to psycho cabbies and nuclear fallout, this year’s selections promise to distract us from the nauseating sound of the turning of the tide — in SurroundSound.

Sunday, July 3 at 2 p.m.

“Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” (1986) Rated PG Judging by our nation’s education standards, director John Hughes ’80s teen classic, starring Matthew Broderick as a kid who made cutting school look totally cool, inspired an entire generation to skip class completely. And now we’re all f*cking broke! Thanks a million, brah!

Sunday, July 10 at 2 p.m.

“Taxi Driver” (1976) Rated R Martin Scorsese’s award-winning “feel bad” hit put stars Robert De Niro and Jodie Foster on the map and put costar Harvey Keitel in a ridiculous pimp hat. One of the best effed-up

films in cinema also stars Cybill Shepherd and Albert “Why was I cast in this movie?” Brooks.

Sunday, July 17 at 2 p.m.

“The Pink Panther” (1963) Not Rated The late, great Peter Sellers stole the show as Inspector Jacques Clouseau from leading man David Niven in director Blake Edward’s hilarious romp about a diamond heist. Folio Weekly Fun Fact: The film’s title is also the name of our signature office cocktail that combines cheap vodka, pink bismuth and locally grown, farm-to-table crystal meth.

Sunday, July 24 at 2 p.m.

“The Last Waltz” (1978) Rated PG The Band invited buddies like Bob Dylan, Muddy Waters and Joni Mitchell for a farewell concert filmed by Martin Scorsese at San Francisco’s Winterland Ballroom. During the film’s editing, a giant chunk of cocaine had to be “removed” from Neil Young’s nostril. Again.

Sunday, July 31 at 2 p.m.

“The China Syndrome” (1979) Rated PG Jane Fonda, Jack Lemmon and Michael Douglas star in this edge-of-your-seat thriller about nuclear power, which had no effect whatsoever on the now-thriving nuclear industry. Thirty years later, one must wonder if director James Bridges created a cautionary tale or a pioneering, yet still misunderstood, infomercial.

Saturday, Aug. 6 at 7:30 p.m.

Sunday, Aug. 7 at 2 p.m.

“The Magnificent Seven” (1960) Not Rated Yul Brynner, Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson and Eli Wallach headline this U.S. remake of Kurosawa’s 1954 film “Seven Samurai.” If we factor in that the leading stars of “Magnificent” had an average age of around 45, in today’s Hollywood, John Sturges’ visionary Western would be relegated straight-to-disc and surely feature the talents of Tim Allen, Rob Schneider and Judd Nelson.

Saturday, Aug. 13 at 7:30 p.m.

Sunday, Aug. 14 at 2 p.m.

“Rear Window” (1954) Not Rated Allegedly, the original working title for Hitchcock’s suspense classic was “Night of the Nosy-Ass Neighbor,” but after the corpulent Brit auteur sobered up, he scrapped that stillprovocative name. James Stewart and Grace Kelly star.

Saturday, Aug. 20 at 7:30 p.m.

Sunday, Aug. 21 at 2 p.m.

“The African Queen” (1951) Shot on location in Uganda and the Congo, John Huston’s fascinating documentary clearly shows why one should never willingly get on a boat with Katharine Hepburn.

Saturday, Aug. 27 at 7:30 p.m.

Sunday, Aug. 28 at 2 p.m.

“Sabrina” (1954) Humphrey Bogart, Audrey Hepburn and William Holden star in this delightful, groundbreaking romantic comedy. Attention all rom-com-hating men: Avoid The Florida Theatre like a big-knuckled urologist on the last weekend in August.

Sunday, Sept. 4 at 2 p.m.

“West Side Story” (1961) Rated PG-13 Based on Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet,” this snappy dance-musical put the rhumba in street rumble while featuring careerdefining performances by Natalie Wood, Russ Tamblyn and Rita Moreno. Most importantly, it inspired the creation of Toto’s powerhouse 1982 video-slash-tone poem, “Rosanna.”

All films screen at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. Admission for each film is $7.50; $45 Movie Card for all 10 screenings. 355-2787.

Dan Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com

MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011 | folio weekly | 21

FILM RATINGS **** ***@ **@@ *@@@

STINKY TOYS STINKY BRITCHES STINKY CHEESE STINKY FEET

NOW SHOWING AFRICAN CATS **@@ Rated G • AMC Regency Square Samuel L. Jackson narrates this documentary exploring the lives of a pride of lions during a two-year period in the Maasai Mara National Reserve in Kenya.

THE BIG UNEASY **G@ Not Rated • June 3-9, Epic Theatre St. Augustine Nearly five years after the Hurricane Katrina disaster, longtime New Orleans resident Harry Shearer poses serious questions about his state’s well being and the government’s overall preparedness in his insightful and heartfelt documentary.

BRIDESMAIDS *G@@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

Discerning moviegoers will be unwilling to divorce themselves from their hard-earned cash to see this vapid, unholy marriage of bad jokes and a weak cast starring Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph.

MADEA’S BIG HAPPY FAMILY **@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues Loretta Devine, Shad “Bow Wow” Moss and Cassi Davis star in this latest ensemble-driven family comedy/drama from Tyler Perry.

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES **G@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd., WGHoF IMAX Theatre Reviewed in this issue.

POM WONDERFUL PRESENTS: THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER SOLD **@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Regency Square, Regal Beach Blvd.

Morgan Spurlock (“Supersize Me”) returns to the big screen with this witty documentary about the joys of “selling out” in contemporary America.

PRIEST **G@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

Stars Paul Bettany and Maggie Q keep an otherwise routine vampire-action flick from chewing on the scenery.

RIO **@@ Rated G • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Cinemark Tinseltown, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

This birdbrained animated flick coasts along on the star power of its cast (featuring the voices of Jesse Eisenberg and Anne Hathaway), but its unoriginal story keeps it caged in clichéd family fare.

SOMETHING BORROWED *@@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

Discerning moviegoers won’t feel like losing 90 minutes of their lived to this silly, banal rom-com starring Ginnifer Goodwin, Kate Hudson and Josh Krazinski (“The Office”).

SOUL SURFER **@@ Rated PG • AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Regal Avenues True-life story of surfer girl Bethany Hamilton (AnnaSophia Robb) and her fight for survival after a vicious shark attack off the coast of the Hawaiian island of Kauai.

THOR ***@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square,

EVERYTHING MUST GO **@@ Rated R • Cinemark Tinseltown Based on a short story by Raymond Carver, Will Ferrell and Laura Dern star in this film about an alcoholic who tries to hit the “restart” button on his life.

FAST FIVE *G@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

Vin Diesel, Paul Walker and Dwayne Johnson star in the latest installment of the popular car-driven series that spins out into predictable action-flick fare.

THE HANGOVER: PART II **@@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd., San Marco Theatre This sequel to the hit 2009 dude comedy stars Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis, Ed Helms and Justin Bartha, who wake up from a blackout in Thailand, wondering what in the hell happened the night before. And now they have a pet monkey! Huzzah!

JANE EYRE **@@ Rated PG-13 • 5 Points Theatre Director Cary Fukunaga’s staid take on Charlotte Brönte’s gothic love story stars Mia Waskikowska and Michael Fassbender.

JUMPING THE BROOM **@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Cinemark Tinseltown, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues Paula Patton, Laz Alonso (“Avatar”) and Angela Bassett star in this rom-com about a young corporate lawyer whose upper-class family questions her choice of a blue-collar fiancé.

KUNG FU PANDA 2 **@@ Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

The sequel to the popular animated martial arts film again features our hero Po (voiced by Jack Black) teaming up with fellow kung fu masters the Furious Five to vanquish a powerful villain.

22 | folio weekly | MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011

A Thailand Vacation, Charlie Sheen Style: Zach Galifianakis, Bradley Cooper, Justin Bartha and Ed Helms are dressed to kill and ready to get nauseatingly wasted drunk in the surefire gross-out romp of “The Hangover: Part II.”

AREA THEATERS AMELIA ISLAND Carmike Amelia Island 7, 1132 S. 14th St., 261-9867 ARLINGTON & REGENCY AMC Regency 24, 9451 Regency Square Blvd., 264-3888 BAYMEADOWS & MANDARIN Regal Avenues 20, 9525 Philips Highway, 538-3889 BEACHES Regal Beach Blvd. 18, 14051 Beach Blvd., 992-4398 FIVE POINTS 5 Points Theatre, 1028 Park St., 359-0047 NORTHSIDE Hollywood River City 14, River City Marketplace, 12884 City Center Blvd., 757-9880

ORANGE PARK AMC Orange Park 24, 1910 Wells Road, (888) AMC-4FUN Carmike Fleming Island 12, 1820 Town Center Blvd., 621-0221 SAN MARCO San Marco Theatre, 1996 San Marco Blvd., 396-4845 SOUTHSIDE Cinemark Tinseltown, 4535 Southside Blvd., 998-2122 ST. AUGUSTINE Epic Theatres, 112 Theatre Drive, 797-5757 IMAX Theater, World Golf Village, 940-IMAX Pot Belly’s, 36 Granada St., 829-3101

No Laughing Matter: Epic Theatre St. Augustine screens comedian, author and longtime New Orleans resident Harry Shearer’s (pictured) documentary, “The Big Uneasy,” June 3-9. John Goodman narrates the film that poses some heady questions about the government’s mishandling of the Hurricane Katrina disaster.

Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

Kenneth Branagh’s winning adaptation of Norse mythology by way of Marvel Comics is a thunderous affair, featuring Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Anthony Hopkins and Tom Hiddleston.

WATER FOR ELEPHANTS **@@ Rated PG-13 • Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Regal Beach Blvd.

This adaptation of Sara Gruen’s novel stars Robert Pattinson and Reese Witherspoon as a couple who find romance and danger in a traveling circus.

OTHER FILMS SABRINA Movies at Main presents a rom-com old-school style, with Humphrey Bogart as the unlikely love interest for Audrey Hepburn, at 5:45 p.m. on June 9 at Main Library’s Hicks Auditorium, 303 N. Laura St., Jacksonville. Admission is free. 630-2366.

NEW ON DVD & BLU-RAY I AM NUMBER FOUR Fans of the popular young-adult sci-fi novel will be the sole contenders in wanting to nab this otherwise silly, teenybopper action yarn critics found to be a real “number two” during its theatrical release.

PLATOON Oliver Stone’s award-winning 1986 Vietnam epic is carried by an ensemble cast including Willem Dafoe, Tom Berenger and a pre-tiger blood-sipping Charlie Sheen. This deluxe edition features deleted scenes, documentaries and director’s commentary.

PUBLIC SPEAKER Originally screened on HBO, Martin Scorsese’s entertaining documentary profiles much-loved NYC-based author (Interview and Vanity Fair magazines), fashion icon and unabashed chain-smoker Fran Lebowitz.

MOONLIGHT MOVIES The city of Jacksonville Beach continues its Moonlight Movies Series with “A Knight’s Tale,” screened at 9 p.m. on June 3 at Sea Walk Pavilion, located on First Street at the ocean in Jax Beach.

Bring a lawn chair or blanket. Admission is free.

247-6100 ext. 3.

ANASTASIA MOVIE CLUB The German film “Wings of Desire” (PG-13) is shown at 5:30 p.m. on June 7 at Anastasia Branch Library, 6670 U.S. 1 S., St. Augustine. In German with English subtitles. 209-3730.

POT BELLY’S CINEMA “Of Gods and Men,” “Limitless” and “The Lincoln Lawyer” are shown at Pot Belly’s, 36 Granada St., St. Augustine. 829-3101.

5 POINTS THEATRE “Jane Eyre” screens at 7:30 p.m. on May 31 and at 5:15 and 7:30 p.m. on June 1 and 2 at 5 Points Theatre, 1028 Park St., Jacksonville. “Gasland” screens at 6:30 p.m. on June 6. 359-0047.

WGHOF IMAX THEATER ”Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides 3D” is screened along with “Born To Be Wild 3D,” “The Ultimate Wave Tahiti 3D” (featuring Kelly Slater), “Hubble 3D” and “Under The Sea 3D,” at World Golf Hall of Fame Village, 1 World Golf Place, Exit 323 off I-95, St. Augustine. 940-IMAX. worldgolfimax.com

GNOMEO & JULIET This family animated fare playfully spoofs Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet” in the realm of garden gnomes, featuring the voices of James McAvoy, Emily Blunt, Michael Caine and Ozzy Osbourne!

MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 23

Bowtie Daddy: When it comes to musical weirdness, innovative bassist, fashionable freak and Primus frontman Les Claypool is right on point.

After 25 years, freaky musical trio Primus still “sucks” — and their fans couldn’t be happier PRIMUS with THE DEAD KENNY Gs

© 2011

FolioWeekly

Wednesday, June 8 at 8 p.m.

The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville Tickets are $38.50 and $41 355-2787

I

24 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011

t’s hard to believe that a band famous for songs like “My Name Is Mud” and “Wynona’s Big Brown Beaver” would be famous at all. Even more amazing is the fact that an outlandishly costumed experimental funkmetal band could have platinum-selling releases to their name. The ever-odd Primus emerged in 1984 from humble suburban roots.

Bassist and founding frontman Les Claypool came from a long line of auto mechanics, none of them musically inclined. Original drummer Vince Parker joined the band after returning home from the Army. And even though Primus had built a solid Bay Area fan base by 1988, founding guitarist Todd Huth left the increasingly popular band to spend more time with his family.

But Primus 2.0, consisting of Claypool, Larry LaLonde and Tim “Herb” Alexander, hit it big with the 1989 debut album “Suck On This.” The live recording received heavy college radio airplay across the nation, eventually attracting the attention of Caroline Records, who signed the band and released 1990’s “Frizzle Fry.” Though those two albums sold a combined 80,000 copies, Interscope A&R man Tom Whalley famously inked Primus to a five-record deal based on only one thing: “Because he saw the band, loved the band, and came back to say, ‘Listen, I want to sign you guys,’” Claypool said in a 1996 interview with Addicted To Noise.

Primus’ first major-label album, 1991’s “Sailing the Seas of Cheese,” sardonically chronicled the band’s journey through mainstream stardom. Appearances in “Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey,” tours with Rush, U2, Anthrax and Public Enemy, regular Top

10 Billboard showings, and MTV video hits all provided a perfect opportunity for the off-kilter trio to create boundary-pushing music while making America snicker. Pig suits were all the rage for Claypool and company after 1993’s “Pork Soda,” and in 1995 the band performed the Grammy-nominated “Wynona’s Big Brown Beaver” on “Late Night with David Letterman,” dressed as penguins.

Primus’ music has always been groundbreaking, but Claypool has given up on trying to explain their sound. “There are not enough adjectives that I can come up with to describe [it].”

By 1997’s “Brown Album,” “We’re Primus, and we suck” had become the group’s de facto greeting to the world.

Yet Primus’ music has always been groundbreaking. Claypool’s eccentric blend of slapping, tapping and flamenco-like strumming the usually straightforward electric bass has influenced nearly ever rock bassist since. And owing to the band’s inexplicable mixture of alternative rock, prog metal and “psychedelic polka,” it was the first group to have its own IDC3 tag — basically a unique genre designation — on the Winamp media player. As early as 1996, when Alexander left the band to be replaced by Praxis drummer Bryan “Brain” Mantia, Claypool had given up on trying to explain the Primus sound.

“If somebody has no idea what you’re doing, there are not enough adjectives that I can come up with to describe [it],” he said. “What am I going to do? Sit there and explain what the color purple looks like to somebody who can’t see the color purple?”

But after recording the “South Park” theme song in 1996, traveling with the wildly successful Family Values metal tour in 1999 and scoring a No. 2 single for a collaboration with Ozzy Osbourne in 2000, Primus decided to go on hiatus in 2001. Claypool didn’t rest on his laurels, however; instead, he formed a succession of jam-band supergroups: Oysterhead with Trey Anastasio and Stewart Copeland, his own Flying Frog Brigade and even Colonel Claypool’s Bucket of Bernie Brains with legendary keyboardist Bernie Worrell.

Claypool, LaLonde and Alexander reunited in ’03 to release “Animals Should Not Try to Act Like People,” a retrospective DVD collecting all of Primus’ music videos, tour footage and short films along with a new five-song EP. That collection went platinum, with the multimedia approach showing up in Claypool’s other recent outside work as a filmmaker, author and even winemaker. (His Claypool Cellars produces Russian River wines with names like Purple Pachyderm and Pink Platypus.) Winemaking “keeps me off the street [and] keeps me off heroin,” he joked in a 2010 interview with Boise Weekly.

More than 25 years later, Primus’ legendary eccentricities and famously dark sense of humor haven’t overshadowed the band’s musical innovations. And by the looks of their current Victorian-era steampunk publicity photos, Primus’ upcoming show at The Florida Theatre could be a visual and auditory feast, harkening back to the band’s early creative heyday, leaving loyal fans yelling, “You still suck!”

Nick McGregor themail@folioweekly.com

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Felonious Felines: Hard rockers Nashville Pussy.

Cat Scratch Fever

Nashville Pussy have clawed out a place for themselves in the wilds of the hard rock scene NASHVILLE PUSSY and KOFFIN KATS Tuesday, June 7 at 8 p.m.

Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville Tickets are $15 398-7496

T

here’s The Pussycat Dolls, Pussy Galore and Nashville Pussy — three musical outfits with the cojones to use the infamous P-word in their name. Of course, the first is a gaggle of burlesque dancer wannabes, while the last (named after a Ted Nugent song) is a quartet of hard-drinking, four-letter-word-dropping rockers from Atlanta, Ga. “We’re actually chicks that rock as opposed to just chicks that grind around,” Nashville’s lead guitarist, Ruyter

In hindsight, if we knew the world was going to be this uptight, I guess maybe it would have been a good idea to have a name you could put on the side of a billboard.

Suys (pronounced “Rider Sighs”), says of the contrast. Suys is joined by fellow female Karen Cuda (bass), Suys’ husband Blaine Cartwright (vocals/guitar), and drummer Jeremy Thompson. Over the last 15 years, Nashville Pussy have released five full-length albums, one EP, two live DVDs and have even been nominated for a Grammy Award.

Folio Weekly recently caught up with Ruyter to chat about their boogie-rock-slash-Southernmetal sound and what’s really in a name.

Folio Weekly: Your full name is Ruyter Lara Johanna Pakon Suys. Were your parents hippies?

Ruyter Suys: How did you guess? What gave it away, the Ruyter? I think I had mean parents. I guess they figured if I grew up with a name like Ruyter, I’d grow up tough as nails or it would make up for all of the lack of financial backing that they gave me as a child. [Laughs.]

F.W.: The band was originally called Hell’s Half-Acre …

R.S.: Yeah, we were only called that for like one second.

F.W.: Well, do you think things would be different if the band’s name wasn’t Nashville Pussy?

R.S.: [Laughs.] Yeah, maybe we would have gotten on the radio. Things might have been different, huh? We’re starting to realize that. In hindsight, if we knew the world was going to be this uptight, I guess maybe it would have been a good idea to have a name you could put on the side of a billboard. But honestly, at the time, it seemed like it was right around the corner. It seemed likes things were kind of loosening up and then I don’t know what happened, it seemed like everybody got a whole lot more uptight. I mean we were nominated for a Grammy [Best Metal Performance for their 1999 single release “Fried Chicken And Coffee”]. You can’t get more square than that.

F.W.: When you play in places like Japan, do people know the American meaning of the word “pussy”?

R.S.: I don’t even really know. I don’t think they get the Ted Nugent reference, but they know that pussy is pussy. But I don’t think they realize that it’s not spoken in America, like we call it “the P-word.”

F.W.: The band hasn’t put out a record since 2009. Are you working on something new?

R.S.: Actually, we just finished remixing that album [“From Hell to Texas”] because our performances were really good, but we were never happy with the final mix on it — it’s always been something that we wanted to get at.

F.W.: You are known for your live act more so than your albums. Is it strange to be stuck in the studio?

R.S.: Yeah, live and studio are two completely different animals, so we definitely have a different approach in the studio, but we try to capture as much of the live feeling as we can.

But obviously you can get away with a lot more stuff in the studio than you can on stage, so it’s fun to take advantage of that, too.

© 2011

F.W.: You’ve played Jacksonville a bunch over the last 15 years. How do you find the fans down here?

R.S.: Jacksonville has always been really fun.

There’s something cool about Jacksonville — we always end up at some chick’s house, partying in her garage. I don’t know what the f*ck is in the water there. We’ve always had a real friendly history with Jacksonville.

Kara Pound themail@folioweekly.com MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011 | folio weekly | 25

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the mustard seed cafe

Located inside Nassau Health Foods, The Mustard Seed is Amelia Island’s only organic eatery and juice bar, with an extensive, eclectic menu featuring vegetarian and vegan items. Daily specials include local seafood, free-range chicken and fresh organic produce. Salads, wraps, sandwiches and soups are available — all prepared with Lisa Harter’s impeccable style. Popular items are ginger chicken salad, falafel pitas, black bean burgers and Asian noodles with tuna. Open for breakfast and lunch, 8 a.m.-3 p.m. Mon.-Sat. nassauhealthfoods.net 833 T.J. Courson Road 904-277-3141

lulu’s at the thompson house

Lulu’s owners, Brian and Melanie Grimley, offer an innovative lunch menu, including po’boys, salads and seafood “little plates” served in the gardens of the historic Thompson House. Dinner features fresh local seafood (Fernandina shrimp is the focus every Thursday), and nightly specials. An extensive wine list and beer are available. Open for lunch and dinner Tue.-Sat., brunch on Sun. Reservations are recommended.

11 S. Seventh Street 904-432-8394

plae restaurant & lounge

Located in the Spa & Shops at Amelia Island Plantation, PLAE serves bistro style cuisine. The full bar lounge at PLAE has become an instant classic, with artistic décor and live entertainment nightly. Open at 5:30 p.m. for dinner daily; reservations accepted.

80 Amelia Village Cir. 904-277-2132

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cafe karibo

Homemade sandwiches, salads and soups are served in a relaxed atmosphere in this charming building in the historic district. Delicious fresh fish specials and theme nights (Pad Thai and curry), plus vegetarian dishes, are also featured. Karibrew Brew Pub & Grub — the only one on the island — offers on-site beers and great burgers and sandwiches.

27 N. Third Street 904-277-5269

29 south eats

This chic, neighborhood bistro has it all — great ambience, fantastic food, an extensive wine list and reasonable prices. The eclectic menu offers traditional world cuisine with a modern whimsical twist and Chef Scotty Schwartz won Best Chef in Folio Weekly’s 2007 Best of Jax readers poll. Open for lunch Tues.-Sat., 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m., for dinner 5:30-9:30 p.m.

Mon.-Thur., till 10 p.m. Fri. and Sat. Brunch is 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Sun. 29southrestaurant.com 29 S. Third Street 904-277-7919

brett’s waterway café

Overlooking Fernandina Harbor Marina, Brett’s offers an upscale atmosphere with outstanding food. The extensive luncheon and dinner menus feature daily specials, fresh Florida seafood, chicken and aged beef.

Cocktails, beer and wine. Casual resort wear. Open at 11:30 a.m. daily.

Fernandina Harbor Marina at the foot of Centre Street 904-261-2660

t-ray’s burger station moon river pizza

Moon River Pizza treats customers like family. Cooked in a brick oven, the pizza is custom-made by the slice (or, of course, by the pie). Set up like an Atlanta-style pizza joint, Moon River also offers an eclectic selection of wine and beers. Open for lunch and dinner Mon.-Sat. Dine in or take it with you.

925 S. 14th Street 904-321-3400

the surf

Enjoy a casual beach atmosphere in the full-service restaurant, bar and huge oceanview deck. Extensive menu features delicious steaks, fresh seafood and nightly specials. Also featuring salads, wraps, burgers, seafood baskets and our famous all-you-can-eat wing specials (Wed. & Sun.). Take-out available. Open at 11 a.m. daily for lunch, dinner and latenight menu. Entertainment nightly and 29 TVs throughout.

3199 S. Fletcher Ave. 904-261-5711

picante grill rotisserie bar

Brand-new Picante offers the vibrant flavors of Peru and Latin America, served in a contemporary atmosphere. The menu includes authentic Peruvian cebiche and home-style empanadas. An extensive selection of boutique South American wines and craft brew beers are offered. A children’s menu and take-out are available. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner daily.

464073 S.R. 200, Ste. 2, Yulee 904-310-9222

T-Ray’s offers a variety of breakfast and lunch items.

In addition to an outstanding breakfast menu, you’ll find some of the best burgers you’ve ever put in your mouth. The Burger Station offers a grilled portabello mushroom burger, grilled or fried chicken salad and much more. The spot where locals grab a bite and go!

Now serving Beer & Wine. Open Mon.-Fri. 7 a.m.-2:30 p.m., Sat. 8 a.m.-1 p.m. Closed Sundays.

202 S. Eighth Street 904-261-6310

jack & diane’s

The locals’ favorite hangout! Dine inside or on the patio of this cozy, renovated 1887 shotgun home in historic downtown Fernandina. From the crab & shrimp omelet to the steak & tomato pie, “The tastiest spot on Centre” offers food with attitude and unexpected flair. Live music elevates your dining experience to a new level. Come for breakfast, stay for dinner! You’ll love every bite!

708 Centre Street 904-321-1444

kelley’s courtyard café

From She Crab Soup and salads, fried green tomatoes and a delectable selection of gourmet sandwiches and wraps, visitors to this bright café and patio are treated to a memorable meal.

Signature desserts, vegetarian dishes and catering are available, too. Open Mon.-Sat., 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Dinner 5:30-9pm.

19 S. Third Street 904-432-8213

Amelia Island is 13 miles of unspoiled beaches, quaint shops, antique treasures and superb dining in a 50-block historic district less than one hour north of Jacksonville 26 | folio weekly | MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011

CONCERTS THIS WEEK

BRAD VICKERS & HIS VESTAPOLITANS These rootsy rockers perform at 5:30 p.m. on May 31 at Aloft Tapestry Park, 4812 Deer Lake Drive W., Jacksonville.

428-1281.

DON’T EVER SAY NEVER, COME WHAT MAY, SECOND THIEF, A JASEY PROJECT, AVIRENCE These indie acts play at 8 p.m. on May 31 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $8.

398-7496.

MAD DOG BLUES, DAVID MICHAEL ANGLETON The blues is delivered at 6 p.m. on June 1 at Downtown Blues Bar & Grille, 714 St. Johns Ave., Palatka. (386) 325-5454.

TOOT LORRAINE & THE TRAFFIC Local jump blues band Toots Lorraine & the Traffic play at 6:30 p.m. on June 1 at Casa Marina Hotel & Restaurant, 691 N. First St., Jax Beach. 270-0025. The group also performs at 8 p.m. on June 4 at Dive Bar, 331 E. Bay St., Jacksonville. 359-9090.

RANGERFIELD These rockers play at 8 p.m. on June 1 at Dive Bar, 331 E. Bay St., Jacksonville. 359-9090.

YOUR JAX MUSIC SHOWCASE Local bands are featured at 8 p.m. on June 1 at Latitude 30, 10370 Philips Highway, Jacksonville. 365-5555.

BASTOGNE, SCREAMIN’ EAGLE, ANTIQUE ANIMALS The local indie freaks perform at 9 p.m. on June 1 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Jacksonville. 353-4692.

CLOUD 9 The Alive After Five series presents these local rockers at 5 p.m. on June 2 at The Markets at St. Johns Town Center, 4850 Big Island Drive, Jacksonville. 998-7156.

KNIFE REVENGE SLEEPLESS IN PERIL, TRANSPOSE, WITH MY BARE HANDS, CITY OF IFA, CODE OF SILENCE, CARNIVOROUS CARNIVAL The punk and metal start at 6 p.m. on June 2 at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 223-9850.

BUCK SMITH This local artist plays at 6 p.m. on June 2 at Pusser’s Caribbean Grille, 816 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach. 280-7766.

NATE HOLLEY Local fave Holley plays at 7 p.m. on June 2 at Latitude 30, 10370 Philips Highway, Jacksonville. 365-5555.

BLISTUR These local rockers pop onto the stage at 8 p.m. on June 2 at Cliff’s Bar & Grill, 3033 Monument Road, Ste. 2, Jacksonville. 645-5162.

MIKE CROSS This singer-songwriter and storyteller performs at 8:30 p.m. on June 2 at European Street CafĂŠ, 1704 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $15 and $16. 399-1740.

THE TURBO A.C.s, THE ARKHAMS NYC punks The Turbo A.C.s play at 9 p.m. on June 2 at Dive Bar, 331 E. Bay St., Jacksonville. Admission is $3. 359-9090.

INSTANT GROOVER Sounds on Centre features this local group at 6 p.m. on June 3 at 100 Centre St., between Second and Front streets, Fernandina Beach. 277-7350.

RIZZIN, BOO CLAN, TOO PHUCKS, MARS, PSYCHO JESUS, VANNACUTT The local talent shines at 7 p.m. on June 3 at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 223-9850.

BRAXTON ADAMSON This local artist performs at 8 p.m. on June 3 at Pusser’s Caribbean Grille, 816 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach. 280-7766.

BOOGIE FREAKS The retro ’70s faves play at 8 p.m. on June 3 and 4 at Cliff’s Bar & Grill, 3033 Monument Road, Ste. 2, Jacksonville. 645-5162.

JESSICA HARRIS Singer-songwriter Harris performs at 8 p.m. on June 3 at Dive Bar, 331 E. Bay St., Jacksonville. 359-9090.

JARAMU BAND, FREEZE FRAME The local bands start at 8 p.m. on June 3 at Latitude 30, 10370 Philips Highway, Jacksonville. 365-5555.

RED PAPER BIRDS This indie act takes flight at 8 p.m. on June 3 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $8.

398-7496.

DANCELL, TEN WEST, ONE LESS ATLANTIC, ARK HARBOUR, NORTHE Local power poppers Dancell play at 8 p.m. on June 3 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Tickets are $8.

246-2473.

ROGER THAT This local group performs at 8 p.m. on June 3 and 4 at The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park. 246-0611.

KING MAGNETIC, REEF THE LOST CAUZE, THE CLOSERS Indie rock is featured at 9 p.m. on June 3 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Jacksonville. 353-4692.

JIMMY THACKERY This bluesman performs at 10 p.m. on June 3 at Mojo Kitchen, 1500 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. Tickets are $15. 247-6636.

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Yo-Yo Champion Jack Ringca performs at 10:30 a.m., Lis and Lon Williamson at 11:45 a.m. and Trevis Prince at 2:30 p.m. on June 4 at Riverside Arts Market, held under the Fuller Warren Bridge at Riverside Avenue, Jacksonville. 554-6865.

CHRIS C4MANN The local musician plays at 8 p.m. on June 4 at Pusser’s Caribbean Grille, 816 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach. 280-7766.

D5, ACCORDING TO CADENCE, HIGHER GROUND, A NEW DECREE Area bands rock out at 7 p.m. on June 4 at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 223-9850.

SONGWRITERS’ CIRCLE with LARRY MANGUM, MIKE SHACKELFORD, JAMIE DeFRATES The Circle’s fifth anniversary is celebrated by local singersongwriters at 8 p.m. on June 4 at European Street CafÊ, 5500 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 399-1740.

THE MOSQUITOS This local group generates a buzz at 8 p.m. on June 4 at Latitude 30, 10370 Philips Highway, Jacksonville. 365-5555.

WASTED TALENT, PRIDELESS The area rockers perform at 8 p.m. on June 4 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Tickets are $8. 246-2473.

500 MILES TO MEMPHIS This cowpunk band performs at 8 p.m. on June 4 Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $8.

398-7496.

JIM PERRY The bluesman plays at 8:30 p.m. on June 4 at Downtown Blues Bar & Grille, 714 St. Johns Ave., Palatka. (386) 325-5454.

DINNER AT THE THOMPSON’S, CHRISTINA WAGNER These indie sensations perform at 9 p.m. on June 4 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Jacksonville. 353-4692.

GYPSY HIGHWAY BAND These local rockers play at 9 p.m. on June 4 at Park Avenue Billiards, 14 Park Ave., Orange Park. 215-1557.

WITCHAVEN, BLOODCRAFT, HALLELUJAH, VOMIKAUST, REMAINS The thrash and black metal kick off at 9:30 p.m. on June 4 at The Lomax Lodge, 822 Lomax St., Jacksonville. Admission is $5; $7 for ages 18-21. 634-8813.

PILI PILI This beloved local reggae group performs at 4 p.m. on June 5 at Pusser’s Caribbean Grille, 816 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach.

280-7766.

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FRIDAY JUNE 3

TEN WEST (featuring Niki Dawson of NBC’s The Voice)

DANCELL/ONE LESS ATLANTIC ARK HARBOR/NORTHE SATURDAY JUNE 4

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First Coast Friends of Funk - CD Release Party FRIDAY JUNE 17

SKINNY RECORDS SHOWCASE

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Rickolus / Alex E. / Robin Rutenberg SATURDAY JUNE 18

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APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION (Guns N Roses tribute)

HORNIT SATURDAY JULY 2

Mon-

TuesWed-

Mens Night Out Beer Pong 9pm $1 Draft $5 Pitchers Free Pool ALL U CAN EAT CRABLEGS Texas Hold ’Em STARTS AT 7 P.M. All U Can Eat Wings KIDS EAT FREE FROM 5 P.M. TO 9 P.M. HAPPY HOUR ALL NIGHT

Thurs- Country Night w/ Cowford Fri-

SatSun-

County Country Band BASS TOURNAMENT 4-8P.M. Big Engine 1/2 PRICE APPS-FRI (BAR ONLY) 4-7PM ACOUSTIC AFTERNOONS 5-9 P.M. Freeze Frame ACOUSTIC AFTERNOONS 5-9 P.M. Chillikaya REGGAE SUNDAYS 5PM-9PM

COREY SMITH MATT STILL SUNDAY JULY 3

Alternative Legends

PSYCHEDELIC FURS (2 sets with Talk Talk Talk and all the hits) SATURDAY JULY 9

U2 BY UV (U2 tribute) SATURDAY JULY 16

BOBBY LEE RODGERS FRIDAY JULY 22

WE THE KINGS Â

SUMMER SET/ HOT CHAELLE RAE UPCOMING SHOWS 7-23: Â Tribal Seeds/Seedless 7-29: Â Frontiers (Journey Tribute) 7-30: Â Donavon Frankenreiter 8-1: Â Â 10 Years 9-17: Â Reverend Horton Heat/ Supersuckers

MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011 | folio weekly | 27

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

BLACKFOOT, BIG ENGINE, QUASI MOJO, ZERO-N, DANNY DELVES & THE DEADLY NIGHTSHADES, BLACK CREEK RIZIN Southern rock legends Blackfoot play at 4 p.m. on June 5 at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $15 and $40. 223-9850.

LEANN RIMES The country sensation performs a concert, along with husband Eddie Cibrian, with proceeds benefitting recent tornado victims, at 7 p.m. on June 5 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach. Tickets are $65 and $100. 209-0367.

ODYSSEY (A TRIBUTE TO JOURNEY) “Don’t Stop Believin’� this band might perform before 8 p.m. on June 5 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville.

Advance tickets are $10. 398-7496.

THE MONKEES The ’60s pop legends perform at 8 p.m. on June 6 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $45-$103.50. 355-2787.

EVOLETTE, WAITING FOR BRANTLEY The local acts play at 7 p.m. on June 7 at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 223-9850.

NASHVILLE PUSSY, KOFFIN KATS Heavy-hitters Nashville Pussy play at 8 p.m. on June 7 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $15. 398-7496.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

THE BLUE DOGS June 10, Freebird Live VAINS OF JENNA June 11, Brewster’s Pit JUNIP, KATIE HELOW, ANTIQUE ANIMALS June 13, 5 Points Theatre ACOUSTIC ALCHEMY June 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SOL DRIVEN TRAIN June 16, Mojo Kitchen KEITH URBAN June 17, Veterans Memorial Arena KYMYSTRY, ROSCO CAINE June 18, Freebird Live MILE TRAIN, ROCCO BLU June 18, Mojo Kitchen OTEP, BLACK GUARD, SISTER SIN, DYSTROPHY, ONE-EYED DOLL June 24, Brewster’s Pit YELLOWCARD, RUNNER RUNNER June 25, Mavericks Rock N’ Honky Tonk Concert Hall ZACH DEPUTY June 25, Freebird Live APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION (Guns N Roses tribute)

July 1, Freebird Live COREY SMITH July 2, Freebird Live PSYCHEDELIC FURS July 3, Freebird Live U2 BY UV (U2 TRIBUTE) July 9, Freebird Live CHRIS THOMAS KING July 16, Mojo Kitchen BOBBY LEE RODGERS July 16, Freebird Live WIZ KHALIFA July 17, St. Augustine Amphitheatre TOBY KEITH, AARON LEWIS July 21, St. Augustine Amphitheatre WE THE KINGS, SUMMER SET July 22, Freebird Live TRIBAL SEEDS, SEEDLESS July 23, Freebird Live FRONTIERS (JOURNEY TRIBUTE) July 29, Freebird Live FURTHUR featuring BOB WEIR & PHIL LESH July 30, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DONAVON FRANKENREITER July 30, Freebird Live SELENA GOMEZ & THE SCENE, ALLSTAR WEEKEND July 31, St. Augustine Amphitheatre TEN YEARS Aug. 1, Freebird Live ALISON KRAUSS & UNION STATION, JERRY DOUGLASS Aug. 19, St. Augustine Amphitheatre SLIGHTLY STOOPID, REBELUTION, SHWAYZE, CISCO ADLER Aug. 21, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MATISYAHU Aug. 23, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall DELBERT McCLINTON Sept. 10, The Florida Theatre ERYKAH BADU, THE O’JAYS, RICKY SMILEY Sept. 17, Veterans Memorial Arena REVEREND HORTON HEAT, SUPERSUCKERS Sept. 17, Freebird Live PETER FRAMPTON Oct. 7, St. Augustine Amphitheatre TAYLOR SWIFT Nov. 11, Veterans Memorial Arena

GENNARO’S ITALIANO SOUTH, 5472 First Coast Hwy., 491-1999 Live jazz from 7:30-9:30 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. GREEN TURTLE TAVERN, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Dan Voll from 7-10 p.m. every Fri. Live music every weekend INDIGO ALLEY, 316 Centre St., 261-7222 Dan Voll & the Alley Cats at 8 p.m. every Sat. Frankie’s Jazz Jam at 7:30 p.m. every Tue. Open mic at 7 p.m. every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. O’KANE’S IRISH PUB, 318 Centre St., 261-1000 Dan Voll at 7:30 p.m. every Wed. Turner London Band at 8:30 p.m. every Thur., Fri. & Sat. THE PALACE SALOON & SHEFFIELD’S, 117 Centre St., 4913332 BSP Unplugged every Tue. & Sun. Wes Cobb every Wed. DJ Heavy Hess in Sheffield’s, Hupp & Rob in Palace every Thur.

Live music every Fri. & Sat. DJ Miguel Alvarez in Sheffield’s every Fri. DJ Heavy Hess every Sat. Cason every Mon. PLAE, 80 Amelia Circle, Amelia Island Plantation, 277-2132 Gary Ross from 7-11 p.m. every Thur.-Sat. SEABREEZE SPORTS BAR, 2707 Sadler Rd., 277-2300 Karaoke with Daddy’O every Wed. DJ Roc at 9 p.m. every Fri., 10 p.m.-2 a.m. every Sat. SLIDER’S SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6990 Cason at 2 p.m. at the tiki bar every Sat. & Sun. THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Early McCall on May 31. Richard Smith on June 2. Andy Haney on June 3.

Reggie Lee on June 4. Gary Stewart at noon, Richard Stratton at 5 p.m. on June 5. Gary Keniston on June 6. Stevie Fingers on June 7. DJ Roc at 5 p.m. every Wed.

BAYMEADOWS

THE COFFEE GRINDER, 9834 Old Baymeadows Rd., 642-7600 DJs Albert Atkins and Roy Luis spin new & vintage original house every Thur., Fri. & Sat. MY PLACE BAR-N-GRILL, 9550 Baymeadows Rd., 737-5299 Out of Hand every Mon. Rotating bands every other Tue. & Wed. OASIS GRILL & CHILL, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., 748-9636 DJs Stan and Mike Bend spin every Feel Good Fri. TERA NOVA, 8206 Philips Hwy., 733-8085 DJ Jose de la Soul spins salsa & freestyle every Latin Thur. DJs spin hip hop every Fri. DJs Leland & Marc-E-Marc spin top 40 & house every Sat. DJ Leland McWilliams spins for South Beach Friday every 2nd Fri. Reggae Fanatic is held every 3rd Fri. TONY D’S NEW YORK PIZZA & RESTAURANT, 8358 Point Meadows Dr., 322-7051 Live music from 6-9 p.m. every Fri.

Advertising proof

ARLINGTON, REGENCY this

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AJ’S BAR & GRILLE, 10244 Atlantic Blvd., 805-9060 DJ Sheryl every Thur., Fri. & Sat. DJ Mike every Tue. & Wed. Karaoke every Thur.

MEEHAN’S TAVERN, 9119 Merrill Rd., Ste. 5, 551-7076 AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH Karaoke every Wed. Live music every Fri. BEECH STREET GRILL, 801 Beech St., 277-3662 John MVP’S SPORTS GRILLE, 12777 Atlantic Blvd., 221-1090 Springer every Fri. & Sat., every other Thur. Barry Randolph Live music at 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. BEACHES every Sun. PLUSH, RAIN, LAVA, 845 University Blvd. N., 745-1845 Produced by jw Checked by Sales Rep dl promise of benefit sUpport Ask for Action (In Jax Beach unless otherwise noted) CAFE KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269 Live music in the DJ Massive spins top 40 in Rain every Wed., DJs spin Latin THE ATLANTIC, 333 N. First St., 249-3338 The Infader spins courtyard at 6 p.m. every Fri. & Sat., at 5 p.m. every Sun. Beech every Fri.; house & techno in Z-Bar every Fri. every Wed. DJ Wes Reed spins every Thur. DJ Jade spins old Street Blues Band at 7:30 p.m. on June 16 TONINO’S TRATTORIA & MARTINI BAR, 7001 Merrill Rd., wave & ’80s retro, SilverStar spins hip hop every Fri. DJ Wes DOG STAR TAVERN, 10 N. Second St., 277-8010 Claiborne Ste. 45, 743-3848 Harry & Sally from 6:30-9 p.m. every Wed. Reed spins ’80s, old school, remixes & mashups, Capone spins Shepherd on June 2. Amy Hendrickson & the Prime Directive on Alaina Colding every Thur. W. Harvey Williams at 6 p.m. every top 40 & dance faves every Sat. June 3. The Connected Houses on June 4 Fri. Signature String Quartet every Sat.

• CLUBS •

For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn dAte: 053111 FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655

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Mon. June June 6 6 Mon. • JB Scott’s Swingin’Allstars r +# 4DPUU T 4XJOHJO "MMTUBST

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28 | folio weekly | MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

BRICK RESTAURANT, 3585 St. Johns Ave., 387-0606 Duet every Wed. Goliath Flores and Sam Rodriguez every Thur. Bush Doctors every 1st Fri. & Sat. Live jazz every Fri. & Sat. THE CASBAH CAFE, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. 3rd Bass every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave., 387-3582 DJ Keith spins for Karaoke every Tue. DJ Free spins vintage every Fri. DJ Dave Berg spins every Sat. DJ Alex Pagan spins every Sun. ELEVATED AVONDALE, 3551 St. Johns Ave., 387-0700 Karaoke with Dave Thrash every Wed. DJ 151 spins hip hop, R&B, funk, soul & old-school every Thur. Live music every weekend. DJ Catharsis spins lounge beats every 1st & 4th Sat. Patrick Evan & Co-Alition every Industry Sun. MOJO NO. 4, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670 Live music every Fri. & Sat. TOM & BETTY’S, 4409 Roosevelt Blvd., 387-3311 Live music every Fri. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Sat.

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Northeast Florida metal heads get a treat when L.A. metal kings Witchaven (pictured) perform with Bloodcraft, Hallelujah and Vomikaust at 9:30 p.m. on June 4 at Lomax Lodge, 822 Lomax St., Jacksonville. Taking their name from a ’90s video game, Witchaven began in 2005 as a Venom tribute band but since then have found a loyal following with their malicious and original sound. Admission is $5; $7 for ages 18-21. 634-8813.

BEACHSIDE SEAFOOD, 120 S. Third St., 444-8862 Kurt Lanham sings classical island music every Fri.-Sun. BILLY’S BOATHOUSE, 2321 Beach Blvd., 241-9771 Billy Bowers at 5:30 p.m. on June 2. Dune Dogs at 6 p.m. on June 3. John Waters at 5:30 p.m. on June 4. Incognito at noon, Dune Dogs at 4:30 p.m. on June 5 BLUES ROCK CAFE, 831 N. First St., 249-0007 Bobby Mobley from 5-8 p.m. every Wed.-Sun. The Bobaloos from 9 p.m.-1 a.m. every Thur.-Sat. THE BRASSERIE, 1312 Beach Blvd., 249-5800 Live music every Wed. & Thur.

BRIX TAPHOUSE, 300 N. Second St., 241-4668 DJ Anonymous every Mon., Tue. & Thur. Live music every Wed. DJ IBay every Fri. & Sat. Charlie Walker every Sun.

CARIBBEE KEY, 100 N. First St., Neptune Beach, 270-8940 Live music every Thur.-Sun. CASA MARINA, 691 First St. N., 270-0025 Toots Lorraine & the Traffic on June 1. Cloud 9 on June 8 COPPER TOP, 1712 Beach Blvd., 249-4776 Karaoke with Billy McMahan from 7-10 p.m. every Tue. THE COURTYARD, 200 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-2922 Not Unheard at 7 p.m. on June 3. Live music every Fri. CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 Johnston Duo for Wiley Benefit on May 31.

Parkstreet Band on June 3. Ruby Beach at 6:30 p.m., Karaoke at 10 p.m. on June 4. JK Wayne on June 5. John Thomas Group at 7 p.m. on June 7. Live music every weekend DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 311 Third St. N., 853-5004 Live

music at 9 p.m. on June 5. Open mic every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Reggae every Sun. Karaoke every Mon. ENGINE 15 BREWING COMPANY, 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217, 249-2337 Live music every Thur.

EUROPEAN STREET, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001 Kurt Lanham at 5 p.m. on June 5 FIONN MACCOOL’S IRISH PUB, 333 First St. N., 242-9499 Live music every Tue.-Sun. FLY’S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 E. Sailfish Dr., Atlantic Beach, 246-4293 Nate Holley every Mon. Wes Cobb every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. King Eddie reggae every Sun. FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 Ten West (with Niki Dawson), Dancell, One Less Atlantic, Ark Harbor and Northe on June 3. Wasted Talent and Prideless on June 4 ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR, 108 First St., Neptune Beach, 372-0943 Live music at 9:30 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-2922 Jazz at 7:30 p.m. every Sat. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Split Tone at 10:30 p.m. every Tue. Nate Holley Band every Wed. Ryan Campbell every Thur. Video DJ & Karaoke every Sun. Little Green Men every Mon. MAYPORT TAVERN, 2775 Old Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 270-0801 Live music at 3 p.m. every Sun. Open mic at 5 p.m. every Wed. DJ Jason hosts Karaoke at 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., Ste. 2, 246-1500 The Fritz on May 31. Wits End on June 1. Danka on June 2. The Great State on June 3. Live music every Fri. & Sat. MEZZA LUNA, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573 Neil Dixon at 6 p.m. every Tue. Mike Shackelford and Rick Johnson at 6 p.m. every Thur.

MIMI’S SPORTS GRILLE, 1021 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 270-1030 DJ Dennis Hubbell spins & hosts Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Thur. & Fri. MOJO KITCHEN, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636 Jimmy Thackery on June 3. Sol Driven Train on June 16 MONKEY’S UNCLE TAVERN, 1850 S. Third St., 246-1070 Wes Cobb at 10 p.m. every Tue. DJ Papa Sugar spins dance music at 9 p.m. every Mon., Thur. & Fri. DJ Austin Williams spins dance & for Karaoke every Wed., Sat. & Sun. NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 Live music every Thur.-Sat. OCEAN 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060 Cloud 9 at 8 p.m. on June 3 PACO’S MEXICAN GRILL, 333 N. First St., 208-5097 Live

Wednesday Kurt Lanham Thursday Rocco Blu Friday & Saturday Something Distant Sunday Dominic Atlantic Blvd. at the Ocean "UMBOUJD #FBDI r MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011 | folio weekly | 29

music at 9 p.m. every Thur.

RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 Kurt Lanham on June 1. Rocco Blu on June 2.

Something Distant on June 3 & 4. Dominic on June 5. Live music every Wed.-Sun. RITZ LOUNGE, 139 Third Ave. N., 246-2255 DJ Jenn Azana every Wed.-Sat. DJ Ibay every Sun. RUSH STREET/CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILL, 320 N. First St., 270-8565 A DJ spins at 10 p.m. every Wed., Fri. & Sat. SUN DOG, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 241-8221 Buck Smith on June 1. Mr. Natural on June 2. Blistur on June 3 & 4. Bread & Butter on June 5. Wes Cobb on June 6. Live music every Wed.-Sun. THE WINE BAR, 320 N. First St., 372-0211 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

DOWNTOWN

BURRO BAR, 228 E. Forsyth St., 353-4692 Bastogne, Screamin Eagle and Antique Animals on June 1. King Magnetic, Reef the Lost Cauze and The Closers on June 3. Dinner at the Thompsons and Christina Wagner on June 4. DJ Tin Man spins reggae & dub every Tue. Devin Balara, Jack Diablo & Carrie Location every Thur. Live music every Fri. $Big Bucks DJ Crew$ every Sat. Bert No Shirt & Uncle Jesse every Sun. DJ Chef Rocc spins hip hop & soul every Buttery Ass Sun. CAFE 331, 331 W. Forsyth St., 354-1999 Acoustic open mic 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Tue. Live music at 9 p.m. every Wed. & Fri. Factory Jax’s goth-industrial 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Sat. Underground 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Mon. CITY HALL PUB, 234 Randolph Blvd., 356-6750 DJ Skillz spins Motown, hip hop & R&B every Wed. Live music every Tue. & Thur. Smooth Jazz Lunch at 11 a.m., Latin music at 9 p.m. every first Fri.; Ol’ Skool every last Fri. A DJ spins classic R&B, hip hop & dance every Saturdaze. Live reggae & DJs spin island music every Sun. Joel Crutchfield open mic every Mon. DE REAL TING CAFE, 128 W. Adams St., 633-973 DJs Mix Master Prince, Pete, Stylish, Big Bodie play reggae, calypso, R&B, hip hop and top 40 every Fri. & Sat. DIVE BAR, 331 E. Bay St., 359-9090 Rangerfield at 8 p.m. on June 1. The Turbo A.C.s and The Arkhams at 9 p.m. on June 2.

Jessica Harris on June 3. Toots Lorraine & the Traffic at 8 p.m. on June 4. DJ NickFresh spins every Tue. Indie Lounge. DJ SuZiRok spins every Thur. DJ Trim spins top 40, dance & rock every

Fri. DJ Shanghai spins top 40, dance & rock every Sat. DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth, 354-0666 DJ Synsonic spins every Tue. & Fri. DJ Rockin’ Bones spins rock, rockabilly & roots every Wed. DJ Scandalous spins every Sat. DJ Randall spins Karaoke every Mon. THE JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Singalong at 7:30 every first Wed. THE IVY ULTRA BAR, 113 E. Bay St., 356-9200 DJs 151 The Experience & C-Lo spin every Rush Hour Wed. DJ E.L. spins top 40, South Beach & dance classics every Pure Sat. MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Massive spins top 40 & dance every Velvet Fri. DJ Shotgun spins top 40 & dance every BayStreet Sat. MAVERICKS ROCK N’HONKY TONK, The Jacksonville Landing, 356-1110 Bobby Laredo spins every Thur. & Sat. Saddle Up every Sat. THE PEARL, 1101 N. Main St., 791-4499 DJs Tom P. & Ian S. spin ’80s & indie dance every Fri. DJ Ricky spins indie rock, hip hop & electro every Sat. POPPY LOVE SMOKE, 112 E. Adams St., 354-1988 Lil John Lumpkin, Stefano DiBella & Lawrence Buckner every Wed. & Fri. ZODIAC GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283 Eric Carter and DJ Al Pete every Fri.

FLEMING ISLAND

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999 Wits End on June 2. Live music every Fri. & Sat. MERCURY MOON, 2015 C.R. 220, 215-8999 DJ Ty spins for ladies’ nite every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Buck Smith Project every Mon. Blistur unplugged every Wed. RUSH STREET/CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILL, 406 Old Hard Rd., Ste. 106, 213-7779 A DJ spins at 10 p.m. every Wed., Fri. & Sat. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Country Night with Restless Kind at 9 p.m. on June 2. Ace Winn at 5 p.m., Big Engine at 9:30 p.m. on June 3. Stevie Fingers at 5 p.m., Freeze Frame on June 4. Chillakaya on the deck at 5 p.m. on June 5. DJ BG every Mon.

INTRACOASTAL WEST

BREWSTER’S PIT, 14003 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 223-9850 Knife Revenge Sleepless In Peril, Transpose, With My Bare Hands, City of IFA, Code of Silence and Carnivorous Carnival

on June 2. Rizzin, Boo Clan, Too Phucks, Mars, Psycho Jesus, Vannacutt on June 3. Nonpoint, According to Cadence, Higher Ground, D5 on June 4. Blackfoot, Big Engine, Zero-N, Quasi Mojo, Black Creek Rizin, Danny Delves & the Deadly Nightshades on June 5. Evolette and Waiting for Brantley on June 7 BREWSTER’S PUB, 14003 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 223-9850 Throwback Tue. ’70s, ’80s & top 40. Open mic with CBH every Wed. Karaoke with DJ Randal & live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat. A DJ spins every Mon. BRUCCI’S PIZZA, 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 36, 223-6913 Mike Shackelford at 6:30 p.m. every Sat. Brucci’s Live open mic with Mike Shackelford at 6:30 p.m. every Mon. CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 Blistur at 8 p.m. on June 2. Boogie Freaks on June 3 & 4.

Karaoke every Tue. DJ Kevin for ladies nite every Wed. Karaoke with DJ Jack at 9 p.m. every Sun. Live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat. JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE & STEAKHOUSE, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 22, 220-6766 Karaoke with Mr. Natural on June 2. Lucky Stiff at 8:30 p.m. on June 3. Paul Lundgren Band at 8:30 p.m. on June 4. The Karaoke Dude at 8 p.m. every Mon. Live music outside for Bike Night every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. YOUR PLACE BAR & GRILL, 13245 Atlantic Blvd., 221-9994 Live music on June 3 & 4

JULINGTON CREEK, NW ST. JOHNS COUNTY

HAPPY OURS SPORTS GRILLE, 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101, 683-1964 Live music at 7:30 p.m. every Fri. SHANNON’S IRISH PUB, 111 Bartram Oaks Walk, 230-9670 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

MANDARIN

AW SHUCKS OYSTER BAR & GRILL, 9743 Old St. Augustine Rd., 240-0368 Open mic with John O’Connor from 7-10 p.m. every Wed. Cafe Groove Duo, Jay Terry and John O’Connor, from 8-11 p.m. every Sat. Live music from 9 p.m.-mid. every Sat. BLUE CRAB CRABHOUSE, 3057 Julington Creek Rd., 260-2722 Live music on the deck every Sun. afternoon CHEERS BAR & GRILL, 11475 San Jose Blvd., 262-4337 Karaoke at 9:30 p.m. every Wed. THE NEW ORLEANS CAFE, 12760 San Jose Blvd., 880-5155 Jazz on the Deck 7-10 p.m. with Sleepy’s Connection every Tue. Open mic with Biker Bob at 7:30 p.m. every Thur. Les B. Fine at 1 p.m. every Reggae Sun. Creekside Songwriters Showcase at 7 p.m. on the last Wed. each month RACK ’EM UP BILLIARDS, 4268 Oldfield Crossing, 262-4030 Craig Hand every Sat. Karaoke at 7 p.m. every Sun. SPECKLED HEN TAVERN & GRILLE, 9475 Philips Hwy., Ste. 16, 538-0811 Live music from 6-9 p.m. every Fri. THE TREE STEAKHOUSE, 11362 San Jose Blvd., 262-0006 The Boril Ivanov Biva Jazz Band from 7-9 p.m. every Thur. David Gum at the piano bar from 7-10 p.m. every Fri.

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

CHEERS BAR & GRILL, 1580 Wells Rd., 269-4855 Karaoke at 9:30 p.m. every Wed. & Sat. CRACKERS LOUNGE, 1282 Blanding Blvd., 272-4620 Karaoke every Fri. & Sat. THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael every Wed.-Sat. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Roger That on June 3 & 4. The Whey on June 9. DJ Waldo every Tue. DJ Papa Sugar every Wed. SENOR WINGS, 700 Blanding Blvd., 375-0746 DJ Andy spins Karaoke every Wed. DJ Tammy spins Karaoke every Fri.

PALATKA

DOWNTOWN BLUES BAR & GRILLE, 714 St. Johns Ave., (386) 325-5454 Mad Dog Blues and David Michael Angleton at 6 p.m. on June 1. Jim Perry at 8:30 p.m. on June 4

PONTE VEDRA

AQUA GRILL, 950 Sawgrass Village Dr., 285-3017 Murray Goff on June 5 NINETEEN at SAWGRASS, 110 Championship Way, 273-3235 Time2Swing at 6 p.m. every Thur. Strings of Fire every Sat. PUSSER’S CARIBBEAN GRILLE, 816 A1A N., Ste. 100, 280-7766 Buck Smith at 6 p.m. on June 2. Braxton at 8 p.m. on June 3. Chris C4Mann at 8 p.m. on June 4. Pili Pili at 4 p.m. on June 5. Michael Garrett at 6 p.m. on June 9 URBAN FLATS, 330 A1A N., 280-5515 High Tides of Jazz at 7:30 p.m. on June 2. Evans Bros. at 7:30 p.m. on June 3.

Barrett Jockers & His Band on June 4. Darren Corlew every Tue. Soulo & Deron Baker at 6 p.m. every Wed.

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

FATKATS NIGHT CLUB, 1187 S. Edgewood Ave., 994-5201 Waylay plays every Thur. Live music & DJ Lavo spinning hip hop, rock, reggae, punk; Caden spins house, techno, breaks, drum &

30 | folio weekly | MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011

ISLAND GIRL Wine & Cigar Bar, 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115, 854-6060 Jazz every Wed. Live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Court, Ste. 1, 997-1955 Open mic night on May 31. Annie in the Water on June 1. Nate Holley on June 3. Billy Buchanan on June 5. Open mic nite every Tue. SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY, 9735 Gate Parkway N., 997-1999 Chuck Nash every Thur. Live music at 10 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. SUITE, 4880 Big Island Dr., 493-9305 Caliente at 7:30 p.m. on May 31. Marvel and Hook’d at 9 p.m. on June 2. DJ KVol and Hook’d at 7:30 p.m. on June 3. DJ KVol and StreetTalk at 7:30 p.m. on June 4. Danny Lozada on June 7 URBAN FLATS, 9726 Touchton Rd., 642-1488 Live music every Fri. & Sat. WHISKY RIVER, 4850 Big Island Drive, 645-5571 Alive After Five with Cloud 9 on June 2. Down Theory every Mon. A DJ spins every Fri. & Sat. WILD WING CAFE, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Live music every Fri. & Sat. Karaoke every Mon.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

Fire it up! NYC punkers The Turbo A.C.s perform along with The Arkhams at 9 p.m. on June 2 at Dive Bar, 331 E. Bay St., Jacksonville. Since 1996, The Turbo A.C.s have been rocking international crowds with a sound similar to fellow miscreants The New Bomb Turks and The Dwarves. Admission is $3. 359-9090.

bass at 9 p.m. every Flashback Fri. HJ’S BAR & GRILL, 8540 Argyle Forest Blvd., 317-2783 Karaoke with DJ Ron at 8:30 p.m. every Tue. & DJ Richie at every Fri. Live music every Sat. Open mic at 8 p.m. every Wed. KICKBACKS, 910 King St., 388-9551 Dave Massey every Tue. Ray & Taylor every Thur. Robby Shenk every Sun. THE LOFT, 925 King St., 476-7283 DJs Wes Reed & Josh K every Thur.

LOMAX LODGE, 822 Lomax St., 634-8813 Witchaven, Bloodcraft, Hallelujah, Vomikaust and Remains on June 4. DJ Dots every Tue. Milan da Tin Man every Wed. DJ Christian every Sat. DJ Spencer every Sun. DJ Luminous every Mon. METRO, 2929 Plum St., 388-8719 DJ Chadpole every Fri. & Sat. Karaoke with KJ Rob every Sun., Mon. & Tue. MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BBQ, 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551 Bluegrass Nite every Fri. THE MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave., 388-7807 Avirence, Nausicaa, Divide the Sea, Sound the Ruin and What’s Mine is Yours! at 7:30 p.m. on June 3. Arlyn, Send Out Scuds, 4:35 on a Thursday, The New Divide and Finish It Off at 7:30 p.m. on June 4. I Drive a Station Wagon, Ark Harbour, For What It’s Worth, Sumerlin and Me & the Trinity at 7:30 p.m. on June 10 WALKERS, 2692 Post St., 894-7465 Jax Arts Collaborative every Tue. Patrick & Burt every Wed. DJ Jeremiah every Thur.

Acoustic every Thur.-Sat. Dr. Bill & His Solo Practice of Music at 5 p.m. every Fri.

ST. AUGUSTINE

A1A ALE WORKS, 1 King St., 829-2977 Billy Buchanan on June 2. Reggae SWAT Team on June 3 & 4 AMICI ITALIAN RESTAURANT, 1915 A1A S., 461-0102 Fermin Spanish guitar from 6-8 p.m. every Thur.

ANN O’MALLEY’S, 23 Orange St., 825-4040 Open mic with Smokin Joe from 7-10 p.m. on May 31. Gina & Tony Cuchetti at 8:30 p.m. on June 3. Irish By Marriage at 1 p.m., Dirty & Todd at 8:30 p.m. on June 4. Karaoke at 8 p.m. on June 5. Live music every Fri. & Sat. THE BRITISH PUB, 213 Anastasia Blvd., 810-5111 Karaoke with Jimmy Jamez at 9 p.m. on June 3 & 4. Jukebox nite on June 5. Open mic night with Christi Harris at 8:30 p.m. on June 6 CAFE ALCAZAR, 25 Granada St., 825-9948 Live music daily CAFE ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311 Jacuzzi Boys from 8-11 p.m. on May 31 CELLAR UPSTAIRS, San Sebastian Winery, 157 King St., 826-1594 The Committee at 7 p.m. on June 3 & 4. Vinny Jacobs at 2 p.m. on June 5 CHICAGO PIZZA & BAKERY, 107 Natures Walk Pkwy., Ste. 101, 230-9700 Greg Flowers hosts open-mic and jazz piano from 7-10 p.m. every Tue. Live music every Fri. CONCH HOUSE LOUNGE, 57 Comares Ave., 829-8646 Scholars Word from 3-7 p.m. on June 5. Brad Newman every Thur. Live music at 3 p.m. every Sat. CREEKSIDE DINERY, 160 Nix Boatyard Rd., 829-6113 Live music on deck Wed.-Sun. CRUISERS GRILL, 3 St. George St., 824-6993 Live music

every Fri. & Sat. Chelsea Saddler every Sun. FLORIDA CRACKER CAFE, 81 St. George St., 829-0397 Lonesome Bert & the Skinny Lizard at 5:30 p.m. every Wed. THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655 Live music every Fri. & Sat. HARRY’S SEAFOOD BAR & GRILLE, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765 Stu Weaver every Mon. JACK’S BARBECUE, 691 A1A Beach Blvd., 460-8100 Jim Essery at 4 p.m. every Sat. Live music every Thur.-Sat. JOHNNY’S, 3009 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 829-8333 Montage features electro, dance & indie every Mon. KINGFISH GRILL, 252 Yacht Club Drive, 824-2111 Colton McKenna at 6 p.m. on June 1. Dewey & Rita at 6 p.m. on June 2. Menage at 7 p.m. on June 3. Alex & Jim at 7 p.m. on June 4. The Mood at 4 p.m. on June 5. Chubby McG at 6 p.m. on June 8 KING’S HEAD BRITISH PUB, 6460 U.S. 1, 823-9787 Mike Sweet from 6-8 p.m. every Thur.

KOZMIC BLUZ PIZZA CAFE & ALE, 48 Spanish St., 825-4805 Live music every Fri., Sat. & Sun. LOCAL HEROES CAFE, 11 Spanish St., 825-0060 Glam punk rock dance party Radio Hot Elf with DJ Dylan Nirvana from 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Fri. MARDI GRAS, 123 San Marco Ave., 540-2824 Battle of the DJs with Josh Frazetta & Mardi Gras Mike every last Sun. MEEHAN’S IRISH PUB, 20 Avenida Menendez, 810-1923 Live music every Fri. & Sat. MI CASA CAFE, 69 St. George St., 824-9317 Chelsea Saddler noon-4 p.m. every Mon., Tue. & Thur. Amy Hendrickson every Sun. & Wed. MILL TOP TAVERN & LISTENING ROOM, 19 1/2 St. George St., 829-2329 Vinny Jacobs every Tue. Todd & Molly Jones every Wed. Colton McKenna at 9 p.m. every Thur. Will Pearsall at 9 p.m. every Mon. THE OASIS, 4000 A1A & Ocean Trace Rd., 471-3424 Live music every Fri. & Sat. THE REEF, 4100 Coastal Hwy., Vilano Beach, 824-8008 Richard Kuncicky from 11 a.m.-2:30 p.m. every Sun. RHETT’S PIANO BAR & BRASSERIE, 66 Hypolita St., 825-0502 Live jazz at 7 p.m. every night SANGRIAS PIANO BAR, 35 Hypolita St., 827-1947 Soul Searchers every Wed. Jim Asalta every Thur. Jazz every Fri. The Housecats every Sat. Sunny & the Flashbacks every Sun. SCARLETT O’HARA’S, 70 Hypolita St., 824-6535 Lil Blaze & DJ Alex hosts Karaoke every Mon. THE TASTING ROOM, 25 Cuna St., 810-2400 Bossa nova with Monica da Silva & Chad Alger from 5-8 p.m. every Sun. ZHANRAS, 108 Anastasia Blvd., 823-3367 Deron Baker & Soulo every Tue. DJ Cep spins ’80s & disco every Sun. Vinny Jacobs open mic every Mon.

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER, TINSELTOWN

AROMAS CIGARS & WINE BAR, 4372 Southside Blvd., Ste. 201, 928-0515 W. Harvey Williams every Tue. DJ Royal every Wed. & Thur. DJ Benz every Fri. DJ T-Rav every Sat. THE GRAPE, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-7111 Live music every Fri. & Sat. John Earle every Mon. DJ Mikeology every Thur.

BASIL THAI & SUSHI, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190 Live music every Sat. ENDO EXO, 1224 Kings Ave., 396-7733 Paten Locke spins classic boombox, hip hop & tru school every Thur. DJ J-Money spins jazz, soul, R&B, house every Fri. DJ Manus spins top 40 & dance every Sat. Reggae every Sun. Open mic with King Ron & T-Roy every Mon. EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 399-1740 Mike Cross on June 2. Mike Emmert, Joan Rollan, Ray Callendar, Joshua Bowlus, Stan Piper and John Lumpkin Jr. on June 9. Jazz every 2nd Tue. HAVANA-JAX CUBA LIBRE BAR LOUNGE, 2578 Atlantic Blvd., 399-0609 MVP Band from 6-9 p.m., DJs No Fame & Dr. Doom every Wed. Jazz every Thur. DJ Omar spins dance every Fri. DJs Harry, Rico & Nestor spin salsa every Sat. JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Don’t Ever Say Never, Second Thief, Come What May, A Jasey Project and Avirence on May 31. Red Paper Birds on June 3. 500 Miles to Memphis on June 4. Odyssey (Journey tribute) on June 5.

Nashville Pussy and Koffin Kats on June 7. The Parlotones and The Daylights on June 10 MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922 Bossa nova with Monica da Silva & Chad Alger at 7 p.m. every Thur.

SQUARE ONE, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 306-9004 Sidewalk 65 at 9 p.m. on June 11. Soul on the Square & Band of Destiny at 8 p.m. every Mon. John Earle Band every Tue. DJs Wes Reed & Matt Caulder spin indie dance & electro every Wed. Split Tone & DJ Comic every Thur.

SOUTHSIDE

BOMBA’S, 8560 Beach Blvd., 997-2291 Open mic from 7-11 p.m. with Chris Hall every Tue. & every first Sun. Live music at 8 p.m. every Fri., at 6 p.m. every Sat. & at 5 p.m. every Sun. CORNER BISTRO & Wine Bar, 9823 Tapestry Park Cir., Ste. 1, 619-1931 Matt “Pianoman” Hall at 8 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717 Larry Mangum, Mike Shackelford and Jamie DeFrates on June 4. JB Scott Allstars on June 6 LATITUDE 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 Local musicians at 8 p.m., I’m With the Band at 9 p.m. on June 1.

Nate Holley at 7 p.m., DJ June Bug at 10 p.m. on June 2.

Jaramu Band and Freeze Frame at 8 p.m., DJ June Bug at 10 p.m. on June 3. The Mosquitos at 8 p.m., VJ Josh Frazetta at 11 p.m. on June 4. Open mic every Wed. Whyte Python every Flashback Fri. Live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

BOOTS-N-BOTTLES, 12405 N. Main St., Ste. 7, Oceanway, 647-7798 Open mic every Wed. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Thur. A DJ spins every Fri. & Sat. Live music every weekend DAMES POINT MARINA, 4518 Irving Rd., 751-3043 Rocco Blu at 7 p.m. on June 3. Reverend Roy at 4 p.m. on June 4. Jim Murdock at 3 p.m. on June 5. Live music every Fri. & Sat. FLIGHT 747 LOUNGE, 1500 Airport Rd., 741-4073 Big Engine every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. ’70s every Tue. SKYLINE SPORTSBAR & LOUNGE, 5611 Norwood Ave., 517-6973 Bigga Rankin & Cool Running DJs every Tue. & 1st Sun. Fusion Band & DJ every Thur. DJ Scar spins every Sun. THREE LAYERS CAFE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 Open mic with Al Poindexter at 7 p.m. on June 2. DeeDee Laux at 7 p.m. on June 3. Candy Lee at 7 p.m. on June 4. Goliath Flores at 1 p.m. on June 5 3 LIONS SPORTS PUB & GRILL, 2467 Faye Rd., 647-8625 Open mic at 8 p.m. every Thur. Woodie & Wyatt C. every Fri. Live music at 8 p.m. every Sat. To be included in the live music listing, send all the vitals — time, date, location with street address, city, admission price and contact number — to Dan Brown, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 or email events@folioweekly.com.

Live music listings are included on a space-available basis.

MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011 | folio weekly | 31

Aerials: Located in the concourse area, Melanie Walker’s and George Peters’ “Sky Bridges” sculpture is part of JIA’s display of permanent public art.

High Art

Jacksonville International Airport has become a destination for art lovers in flight SKY BRIDGES Jacksonville International Airport, 2400 Yankee Clipper Drive The installation is located in the concourse connector KITES & FLIGHTS is on display in the main terminal’s Haskell Gallery through June 741-3546

H

32 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011

arriet Baskas makes a living visiting airports.

She has a popular blog (stuckattheairport. com), writes a monthly column about airports (USATODAY.com) and spent seven years profiling them for Expedia.com. So it’s no surprise that Baskas has written about Jacksonville International Airport several times. Most recently, the reporter and awardwinning radio producer set her sights on Jacksonville Aviation Authority’s new aerial sculpture, “Sky Bridges,” the 13th addition to the JAA’s permanent art collection.

In the early 2000s, JAA began work on a major renovation of the concourse areas and set aside a portion of the project cost ($200,000 in this case) for permanent public art. “Sky Bridges,” an aerial sculpture designed and built by Melanie Walker and George Peters of Airworks Studio (airworks-studio.com) of Boulder, Colo., is the final piece purchased from those funds.

“Art in airports is the standard nationally and internationally,” explains Cabeth Cornelius of the JAA and Jacksonville International Airport Arts Commission. “Most airports our size and larger have art programs that include rotating regional work, permanent public art and performing arts.”

When JAA put out a call to artists seeking proposals for the latest installation, Walker and Peters jumped at the chance. They’d been doing large, collaborative public art projects since 1995, but had never been awarded an airport

piece. They figured that since their work is centered on “aero art” — kites, mobiles, wind sculptures, airplane banners and suspended pieces — an airport installation would be an organic progression.

So the duo sent in a proposal — one of 150 — which was chosen as a top five finalist.

Their submission centered on Jacksonville inspiration: bridges (including the Acosta, the Dames Point and the Main Street bridges), the St. Johns River and the flight paths of planes.

“Their original presentation was a work of art in itself. Their proposal for the piece was very confidently and very clearly inspired by the city of Jacksonville,” Cornelius explains.

Walker and Peters won the bid and, in late

The sculpture was finished in late March. The only problem was that it was still in Colorado. It took a 53-foot trailer truck to transport the 20-foot truss units to Jacksonville. Walker and Peters then spent six nights, working in shifts from 10 p.m. to 4 a.m., to install the piece in the newly renovated Connector Bridge — a place where passengers arrive and families wait.

“This is a very public piece of art,” Peters says of the sculpture’s location. “Many airport pieces are situated behind security, which only allows some people to see it. This one is there for everyone.”

In the Haskell Art Gallery, the two designers are featuring their show “Kites and Flights,” a

They figured that since their work is centered on “aero art” — kites, mobiles, wind sculptures, airplane banners and suspended pieces — an airport installation would be an organic progression. summer 2010, began working on the piece in a large, indoor studio space in Boulder.

“Sky Bridges” is constructed of thin suspension cables and fiberglass rod truss forms covered in polycarbonate with an overlay of dichroic film. The term “dichroic” means “to show different colors when viewed from different directions.”

“We wanted refractive materials that showed a spectrum of colors to look like a bridge from the earth to the sky,” Walker says. “We wanted to use materials that would amplify and reflect the light in the space. We wanted a static piece with a sense of movement.”

collection of flying objects like birds, insects, balloons and rockets, which is exhibited through June. “These are the kites we’ve been making over the years. We usually show them in a blue gallery, blue walls with no ceiling,” says Peters, referring to their frequent trips to kite festivals. “Our work is playful. There’s fun behind everything we do,” he adds.

Check out a blog and photos of the project at airworksstudio.blogspot.com/2011/04/skybridges-jacksonville-international.html Kara Pound themail@folioweekly.com

Original Gangstas: A Morrison Pierce painting featured in the upcoming “MAFIA” installation at Vault Gallery.

Felony Intent

Creative kingpin Morrison Pierce and a gang of “art”-laws bring the “MAFIA” to town MURDER ART FOR INSANE ARCHITECTS Opening reception is held from 6-9 p.m. on Wed., June 1 SCARED RABBITS perform at 8 p.m.

Vault Gallery, 121 W. Forsyth St., Jacksonville 535-7252

T

hey say that crime doesn’t pay and great artists steal. By that logic, are all artists really just broke-ass criminals? We hope these charges are addressed when artistic mastermind Morrison Pierce and creative accomplices Jay Peele and Haley Nocik invade downtown’s First Wednesday Art Walk with their show, “Murder Art For Insane Architects” (MAFIA). The underworld plot began in March, when Pierce joined in cahoots with co-conspirator and artist Steve Williams, who

than an arts show. It’s really an event,” Pierce explains. “This is gonna be a scary show.”

If last June’s Scared Rabbits’ performance at MOCAJax is any indication, the group will deliver a full-on aural assault. Fresh on the heels of the BP oil spill, “Political Trash Manifesto” found the core duo of Pierce and Peele abusing Moog synthesizers, samplers and tape loops on a stage covered in shopping carts, televisions and cans of motor oil.

While Pierce is focusing on gangster-type work for the show, Peele (a founding member of Tropic of Cancer and Barnyard) is aiming through his crosshairs at some even more organized criminals: institutional thugs.

“I’m tackling police corruption, Masons and big pollution,” says Peele, describing his

“I want it to be much more than an arts show. It’s really an event,” Pierce explains. “This is gonna be a scary show.” operates Vault Gallery along with artist-slashgun-moll Cabeth Cornelius. Located in the former vaults of the historic Atlantic Bank building, the gallery space struck Pierce as the perfect hideout to hang his latest works.

“The space inspired the show,” says Pierce.

The theme that Morrison and fellow miscreants hope to deliver with “MAFIA” is both a commentary on and celebration of all things clandestine, featuring installations inspired by various criminal and Prohibitionera signifiers. As with recent shows, Pierce concentrates specifically on installations. “I like the fact that [installations] are something you can’t buy. They are an experience.”

Mississippi-born Pierce still gets feedback from a similarly visceral show he did following the events of 9/11, featuring blood-covered airplanes and the Twin Towers. While “MAFIA” may not be as intense, the 38-year-old is also offering ways for art lovers to steady their nerves, including a circus tent speakeasy serving “red rum,” an old nickname for black-market hooch.

Along with promised intoxicants, the night features a mood-altering performance by the noise combo unit Scared Rabbits, featuring founding members Pierce and Peele as well as Joel Crandall. “I want it to be much more

personal “most wanted” list as “crimes against humanity [perpetuated by] the slave state.”

One piece is a poster-sized blow-up of his own Social Security card. “I’m changing the number to ‘666 000 1984’.”

The overall effect of an estimated 80 pieces by Pierce, Peele and Asheville-based artist Nocik, delivered in collusion with Scared Rabbits’ sonic assault, promises to be a memorable night. Gallery owner Williams is sanguine about the prospect. “I have always liked Morrison’s presence,” he says. “Looking at a lot of art, I often get bored with the normal and expected [works], so for me, the weirder the better.” He adds, “Morrison always delivers.”

Works from the show will be documented in a follow-up coffee table book; Pierce says what doesn’t sell will go down to Art Basel Miami (December 2011) to become street art. By wheat-pasting any remaining pieces on building faces in downtown Miami, Pierce hopes to extend the life of the work through a campaign of guerilla art. Does Morrison Pierce hope to stimulate our flagging national market woes through the realm of underground crime?

“That is the real American economy.”

Dan Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 33

PERFORMANCE

THE VINTAGE PLAYERS This theater troupe of seniors presents a collection of lighthearted plays and monologues, “Bits and Pieces,” at 8 p.m. on June 4 and at 2 p.m. on June 5 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach. Tickets are $10. 249-7177.

POETIC JUSTICE This evening of poetry, local art and performance kicks off at 8 p.m. on June 1 at The Brooklyn Royal, 365 Park St., Jacksonville. Admission is $3. 353-1748.

THE ART OF DINING Orange Park Community Theatre presents this culinary comedy at 8 p.m. on June 3 and 4 and at 3 p.m. on June 5 at 2900 Moody Ave., Orange Park. Tickets are $15. The play is also staged June 10-12, 17-19 and 24 and 25. 276-2599.

THE EXPLODING BISHOPS This improv comedy crew performs at 7:30 p.m. on June 1 and the first Wed. of each month at the Limelight Theatre’s Koger-Gamache Black Box Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine. Tickets are $5. 825-1164.

MURDER MYSTERY DINNER An interactive “Whodunit?” and dinner is staged at 2:30 p.m.

May 31-June 7 and at 5:30 p.m. June 1-5 at Historic St. Augustine Wine Cellar, 119 St. George St. Tickets are $43.15; $35.15 for children. 671-2508.

FRINGE ON THE ROCKS Players by the Sea presents its summer festival of eclectic film, performance, cabaret and dining at 7 p.m. on June 3 and 4 and at 2 p.m. on June 5 at 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach. The festival continues on June 9, 10 and 11. Tickets are $8; $50 for a festival pass. 249-0289.

THE ODD COUPLE Alhambra Theatre & Dining presents former “Brady Bunch” RepinrlNeil Simon’s raucous comedy about starSales Barry Williams incompatible roommates at 8 p.m. on May 31 and June 1-7, at 1:15 p.m. on June 4 and at 2 p.m. on June 5 at 12000 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $42-$49. 641-1212.

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CALLS & WORKSHOPS

AUDITIONS FOR SECOND SAMUEL The Limelight Theatre seeks to cast 11 roles (ages 20-70) for its production of the 1940s-based Southern comedy “Second Samuel” from 2-6 p.m. on June 11 at 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine. Bring a headshot and résumé. The show runs Aug. 5-28. 825-1164.

BEACHES PHOTOGRAPHY CLUB Jeff Girard holds a workshop on flash photography basics from 6-8 p.m. on June 6 at Beaches Library, 600 Third St., Neptune Beach. 240-8835.

COMEDY PLAY NEEDS ACTORS Auditions for the locally penned comedy “Testing: A Week in the Life of an Ex-Teacher” are held from 3:30-5:30 p.m. on June 11 at Pablo Creek Branch Library, 13295 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. 314-5801.

CRASH COURSE ON SCREENWRITING Sharon Cobb teaches an introduction to screenwriting structure, character development and plot construction from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. on June 4 at University of North Florida’s University Center, 12000 Alumni Drive, Jacksonville.

Registration is $89. 620-6400.

DASotA SEEKS ACTORS FOR STUDENT FILM Douglas Anderson School of the Arts cinematic arts department seeks two female actors for lead roles in an upcoming student film production. The characters are a 23-year-old “Joan Jett”-type rocker and a 19-year-old country girl. Musical skills a plus. 346-5620, ext. 154; 742-4908.

ADULT ART CLASSES Beginning and advanced acrylics, watercolors, photoshop, drawing, oil painting and portrait painting classes are held Mon.-Sat. at The Cultural Center at Ponte Vedra, 50 Executive Way, Ponte Vedra. Fees vary. 280-0614. ccpvb.org CORSE GALLERY WORKSHOPS Beginning and advanced acrylics, watercolors, oil painting and portrait painting classes are held Mon.-Sat. at Corse Gallery & Atelier, 4144 Herschel St., Jacksonville. Fees vary. 388-8205. corsegalleryatelier.com WEST AFRICAN DRUM & DANCE A drumming class is held at 5 :30 p.m., and an African dance class is held at 6:45 p.m. every Fri. at St. Johns Cultural Arts Center, 370 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine. Each class is $10.

315-1862.

THEATRICAL ARTS Classes in theatrical performance, including song and dance, are held Mon.-Fri. at The Performers Academy, 3674 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Fees vary. 322-7672. theperformersacademy.com DANCE INSTRUCTION Braided Light Dance Project offers adult intermediate ballet classes from 6:15-7:45 p.m. every Wed. and from 1-2:30 p.m. every Sat. at Barbara Thompson School of Dance, 8595 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Each class is $10. 997-0002.

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34 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011

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Rhymes for the eyes and ears: Poetic Justice, an evening of performance poetry and visual art, featuring the likes of Edmund Dansart (pictured), Jeremiah Douglas, Jenn Page and Josh Matthews, is held at 8 p.m. on June 1 at The Brooklyn Royal, 365 Park St., Jacksonville.

Admission is $3. 353-1748.

CLASSICAL & JAZZ

GRASS ROOTS SONG & DANCE: A HOEDOWN Acclaimed violinist Jay Ungar and guitarist Molly Mason perform at 7 p.m. on June 2 at Amelia Island Plantation’s Walker’s Landing, 6800 First Coast Highway, Fernandina Beach. Tickets are $30. 261-1779.

MUSIC CITY HITMAKERS The Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra performs with Grammy-winning country music hit makers Gordie Sampson, Hillary Lindsey and Brett James at 8 p.m. on June 3 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $18-$55.

632-3373.

CLASSICAL DUET Amelia Island Chamber Music Festival presents pianist Gabriela Montero and cellist Christopher Rex at 7:30 p.m. on June 3 at Amelia Plantation Chapel, 36 Bowman Road, Fernandina Beach. Tickets are $40. 261-1779.

OLD BLACK MAGIC CABARET The Ritz Theatre & LaVilla Museum feature this musical tribute to Jax native and legendary crooner Billy Daniels at the monthly jam session at 8 p.m. on June 4 at 829 N. Davis St., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $21; $25 at the door.

632-5555.

HERITAGE SINGERS OF JACKSONVILLE This local chorale group performs at 3 p.m. on June 5 at St. Matthew’s Catholic Church, 1773 Blanding Blvd., Jacksonville.

388-8698.

AN AMERICAN CHORAL BOUQUET The Don Thompson Chorale performs at 3 p.m. on June 5 at Resurrection Catholic Church, 3383 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. 358-0196.

SUMMER ORGAN RECITAL SERIES All Saints Episcopal Church’s organist Zach Klobnak performs at 6 p.m. on June 5 at Church of the Good Shepherd, 1100 Stockton St., Jacksonville. 387-5691.

TRIO ON AMELIA ISLAND Violinist David Coucheron and pianist Julie Coucheron perform with cellist Christopher Rex at 7:30 p.m. on June 5 at Memorial United Methodist Church, 601 Centre St., Fernandina Beach. Tickets are $25. 261-1779.

JB SCOTT’S SWINGIN’ ALLSTARS This popular jazz combo plays at 8 p.m. on June 6 at European Street Café, 5500 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10.

399-1740.

THE RITZ CHAMBER PLAYERS This acclaimed local ensemble performs at 2 p.m. on June 7 at Museum of Contemporary Art Jacksonville, 333 N. Laura St. Tickets are $8 for non-members. 366-6911.

JOHN THOMAS GROUP Pianist John Thomas leads his combo at 7 p.m. on June 7 at Culhane’s Irish Pub, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach.

249-9595.

JAZZ AT THE BRASSERIE Live jazz is featured at 7 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at The Brasserie, 1312 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. 249-5800.

JAZZ AT TREE STEAKHOUSE Live Jazz is featured at 7 p.m. every Thur. and Fri. at Tree Steakhouse, 11362 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville. 262-0006.

JAZZ AT GENNARO’S Gennaro’s Ristorante Italiano features live jazz at 7:30 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at 5472 First Coast Highway, Fernandina Beach. 491-1999.

JAZZ IN ST. AUGUSTINE Rhett’s Piano Bar & Brasserie features live jazz nightly at 7 p.m. at 66 Hypolita St., St. Augustine. 825-0502.

ART WALKS & FESTIVALS

FIRST WEDNESDAY ART WALK This self-guided tour, themed “Making Music,” is held from

promise of benefit

5-9 p.m. on June 1 in downtown Jacksonville, spanning a 15-block radius of galleries, museums, bars and eateries.

634-0303 ext. 230.

DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts & crafts and local produce are offered every Fri. from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Drive. 353-1188.

FIRST FRIDAY ART WALK This self-guided tour features 25 participating galleries from 5-9 p.m. on June 3 in downtown St. Augustine. 829-0065.

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET The Arts Market is held from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. every Sat. beneath the Fuller Warren Bridge on Riverside Avenue, Jacksonville and features local and regional artists, strolling performers, bands and a farmers market. Admission is free.

554-6865, 389-2449. riversideartsmarket.com

MUSEUMS

BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY CENTER 413 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657. The Lee McDonald-curated show, “Seasons and Conservation in our Coastal Region,” is on display June 1-July 2, featuring environmentally themed works in various media. Diana Patterson’s “Acrylics and Old Photos” is on display June 1-Aug. 2.

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., Jacksonville, 356-6857. Ceramicist Glendia Cooper offers an “The Ancient Art of Pottery” workshop from 10:30 a.m.-4 p.m. on June 4. Fee is $60; $45 for members. 355-0630. Curator Holly Keris discusses “The Royal Dish: Passion. Power. Porcelain,” at 7 p.m. on June 7. “Drop-In Art” allows kids ages 4-10 the chance to explore the galleries and create art from 5-6 p.m. on June 7. Fee is $5. The exhibit, “Ralph H. & Constance I. Wark Collection of Early Meissen Porcelain” is on display through Dec. 31. “On the Silk Road and the High Seas: Chinese Ceramics, Culture, and Commerce” is on display through Aug. 14. The restored Tudor Room gallery is open through Dec. 31.

CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530. The exhibit “Inspired

by Italy,” featuring recent work by Flagler students created during their recent trip abroad opens from 5-9 p.m. on June 3 and runs through June 24.

KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Jacksonville, 356-2992. The show “Spiritualism,” featuring manuscripts of Harry Houdini’s and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s, is on display through Aug. 27.

Overstreet Ducasse’s “Mixed Media” is on display through July 28. The permanent collection features a variety of rare manuscripts. Open Tue.-Fri., 10 a.m.-3 p.m.; Sat. 10 a.m.-4 p.m.

MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Jacksonville, 366-6911. HEAL’S Butterfly Studio Project offers autistic children (ages 12-18) and their family instruction in batik-making with artist Wendy Tatter from 9:30-11:30 a.m. on June 4. Course fee is $5. The Ritz Chamber Players perform at 2 p.m. on June 7. Christina West’s exhibit, “What a Doll: The Human Object as Toy,” runs through Aug. 28. “Stranger in Paradise: The Works of Reverend Howard Finster” runs through Aug. 28. Family Fun Free Day is held from noon-4 p.m. every Sun. Open Tue.Sun. mocajacksonville.org RITZ THEATRE & MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., Jacksonville, 632-5555. Spoken Word night is featured at 7 p.m. on June 2. Amateur Night is held at 7:30 p.m. on June 3. Admission is $5.50. The musical tribute “Old Black Magic Cabaret: Remembering Billy Daniels” is presented at 8 p.m. on June 4. Advance tickets are $21; $25 at the door. “Lift Ev’ry Voice in LaVilla,” an exhibit of African-American history in Jacksonville, is on permanent display. Admission is $6 for adults, $3 for children, students and seniors. Open Tue.-Sun. ST. AUGUSTINE PIRATE AND TREASURE MUSEUM 12 S. Castillo Drive, St. Augustine. (877) 467-5863. This museum houses one of the largest collections of authentic pirate-related artifacts in the world, including the 17th century treasure chest of Capt. Thomas Tew. ST. PHOTIOS NATIONAL SHRINE 41 St. George St., St. Augustine, 289-2805. The opening reception for an exhibit of Byzantine-style icons by Fernando Arango-Fernandez is held from 5-9 p.m. on June 3. The exhibit runs through Sept. 25.

122 OCEAN: THE OLD LIBRARY 122 N. Ocean St., Jacksonville, 396-9601. Overstreet Ducasse, Grant Thornton, Cathy Andorfer, Frank McDermott, Jay Breeze, Jacob Brooks, Sarah Napier, MacTruque, Chris Grassinger, Rejcel Harbert, Aisling Millar, Michael Lanier, Faith Bennett, Jay Antablian, Jason Tetlak, Gustavo Rocca, Natalie Frazier, Matthew Winghart, Scott Blake, Jennifer Lewis, Lindsey Bowyer, Peter Kamback and Beth Chitty are featured artists from 5-9 p.m. on June 1 during First Wednesday Art Walk.

ADRIAN PICKETT GALLERY 2 Independent Drive, Ste. 112, Jacksonville, 962-2540.

Music-themed works are featured from 5-9 p.m. on June 1 during First Wednesday Art Walk.

ANCHOR BOUTIQUE 210 Saint George Street, C2, St. Augustine, 808-7078.

The opening reception for “Threads,” featuring the latest works by clothing designer Tara Ferreira and jewelry designer Laurel Baker, is held from 6-9 p.m. on June 3.

THE ART CENTER COOPERATIVE GALLERY 31 W. Adams St., Jacksonville, 355-1757. A preview of miniature art from the upcoming Mighty Masterpieces show is featured from 5-9 p.m. on June 1 during First Wednesday Art Walk.

THE ART CENTER II 229 N. Hogan St., Jacksonville, 355-1757. The juried “City Sounds” show is featured from 5-9 p.m. on June 1 during First Wednesday Art Walk.

AT&T TOWER LOBBY 301 W. Bay St., Jacksonville. Members of the Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra perform in the tower’s second floor auditorium at 6:30 p.m. on June 1 during First Wednesday Art Walk.

AVONDALE ARTWORKS 3568 St. Johns Ave., Jacksonville, 384-8797. The opening reception for new works by Beth Haizlip and MacTruque is held from 5:30-9 p.m. on June 3. The exhibit is on display through June.

BEE GALLERY AND STUDIO 2 Independent Dr., Ste. 108, Jacksonville, (727) 207-3013.

Jennifer Woodall is the featured artist from 5-9 p.m. on June 1 during First Wednesday Art Walk. Figure Drawing is featured from 6-8 p.m. on June 6.

ELEMENTAL GALLERY & STUDIO The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Ste. 110, 302-6102. Works by Beth Haizlip, Mo Sakani Esposito and Michael and Julia Higbe are featured from 5-9 p.m. on June 1 during First Wednesday Art Walk.

FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928. The ninth annual “Turtle Art” show features local, regional and national artistic renderings, in various media, of endangered sea turtles and runs through June 27.

HASKELL GALLERY Jax International Airport, 14201 Pecan Park Road, 741-3546. A collection of art kites by Melanie Walker and George Peters of Airworks Studios is on display through June. Commissioned work by the two designers is shown in JIA’s Connector hallway.

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HEMMING PLAZA Located at the corner of Laura and Monroe streets, Jacksonville, 634-0303. Music by Just Jazz Quintet; Riverside Hairstyling Academy celebrates the pin-up girl from 5-9 p.m. on June 1 during First Wednesday Art Walk.

INDIGO ALLEY WINE BAR 316 Centre St., Fernandina Beach, 261-7222. Painter Paul Maley is the featured artist through June.

JAXPORT GALLERY 2831 Talleyrand Ave., Jacksonville, 357-3052. Fred Schloth is the featured artist from June 1-July 15.

NEXT GALLERY 203 N. Laura St., Jacksonville, 356-3474. Artists Sharla Valeski, Caroline Daley and Lee Harvey are featured; a stopmotion animated film showing the creation of a painting is screened from 5-9 p.m. on June 1 during First Wednesday Art Walk.

NULLSPACE 109 E. Bay St., Jacksonville, 716-4202. “Sequence Variations — New Work by Mark Estlund” is featured from 5-9 p.m. on June 1 during First Wednesday Art Walk.

P.A.St.A FINE ARTS GALLERY 214 Charlotte St., St. Augustine, 824-0251. Watercolorist Carolyn Hayes Kelso is the featured artist through June.

SNYDER MEMORIAL CHURCH 226 N. Laura St., Jacksonville, 634-0303. The musical “Grease” is screened from 5-9 p.m. on June 1 during First Wednesday Art Walk.

SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 100 N. Laura St., Jacksonville, 553-6361. Sydney McKenna is the featured artist from 5-9 p.m. on June 1 during First Wednesday Art Walk.

SOUTH GALLERY FSCJ’s South Campus, 11901 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville, 646-2023. “Ann Holloway Williams: A Celebration of Joy & Color, 1926-2010,” is on display through June 23.

STUDIO 121 121 W. Forsyth St., Ste. 100, Jacksonville. Doug Eng, Tony Wood, Paul Ladnier, Robert Leedy, Mary St. Germain, Joyce Gabiou and Terese Muller are the featured artists from 5-9 p.m. on June 1 during First Wednesday Art Walk.

UNIVERSITY OF NORTH FLORIDA CARPENTER GALLERY 1 UNF Drive, Rm. 12-1301, Jacksonville, 620-1533. Images from Jaxport’s recent “Faces of the Port” and “Women of the Port” are on display through June 30.

VAULT GALLERY 121 W. Forsyth St., Jacksonville, 535-7252. The opening reception for the exhibit “Murder Art For Insane Architects” is from 6-9 p.m. on June 1 during First Wednesday Art Walk.

WATERWHEEL ART GALLERY 5047 First Coast Highway, Fernandina Beach, 261-2535. The gallery features works by Marlene Deutcher, Pat Haley and Charbach through June.

For a complete list of galleries, log on to folioweekly.com.

To list your event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price and contact number to print to Dan Brown, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 or email dbrown@folioweekly.com.

GALLERIES

111 E. BAY STREET 111 E. Bay St., Jacksonville. Features artists Dat Nguyen, Philip Cozma, Eve Albrecht, Ryan Strasser, Mike Erdeyli, Nick D’Agostine and Emily Copus along with performances by F13RCE Dance Theatre, Goliath Flores and Rhythmen from 5-9 p.m. on June 1 during First Wednesday Art Walk.

The Ritz Theatre & LaVilla Museum presents “Old Black Magic Cabaret: Remembering Billy Daniels” at 8 p.m. on June 4 at 829 N. Davis St., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $21; $25 at the door. While Jacksonville native and legendary crooner Daniels (1915-’88) is best known for his definite version of the Mercer-Arlen standard “That Old Black Magic,” he was also a Broadway star and host of his own television show. 632-5555.

MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011 | folio weekly | 35

The first recorded mention of Potato Salad was in 1597, but Americans have been chowing down on this carb-heavy delight for over two centuries. A celebration is long overdue! The innagural Great Potato Salad Throw Down is held from noon-4 p.m. (judging is at 1 p.m.) on June 5 at Wildlife Rescue Coalition of Northeast Florida, 6853 Seaboard Ave., Jacksonville. In addition to plenty of potato-and-mayo delight, the event features grilled burgers and hot dogs along with live music. Dinner plates are $5. Proceeds benefit wildlife rescue efforts. 886-1910.

EVENTS DRAKE’S RAID The 25th annual historical re-enactment of Sir Francis Drake’s 1586 raid on St. Augustine is presented throughout the day on June 4 at locations within the historic district, downtown St. Augustine. Displays of arms, armor, crafts and Colonial lifestyles are featured. The sacking and burning of the city occurs Saturday evening in the plaza.

829-9792.

ANASTASIA STATE PARK BEACH BASH The 18th annual Beach Bash celebrating the start of summer is held from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. on June 4 at Anastasia State Park, 1340A A1A S., St. Augustine. A sandcastle sculpture contest (using only natural objects), scavenger hunt and nature walks are featured. Admission is free with a $8 park admission for vehicles with up to eight people, $2 for pedestrians and bicyclists. 461-2008. floridastateparks.org THE CAKE BOSS Buddy Valastro gives a cooking demonstration, tells stories and answers questions from the audience at 7 p.m. on June 5 at the Times-Union Center of the Performing Arts, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $25.75$45.75. 630-3900.

GREAT POTATO SALAD THROW DOWN The inaugural Great Potato Salad Throw Down is held from noon-4 p.m. (judging is at 1 p.m.) on June 5 at Wildlife Rescue Coalition of Northeast Florida, 6853 Seaboard Ave., Jacksonville. Grilled hamburgers and hot dogs, music and lots of potato salad are featured. Admission is free; dinner plates are $5. Proceeds benefit WCNF programs. 886-1910.

PUBLIC ARCHAEOLOGY DAY History gets a little dirty at Public Archaeology Day at 1 p.m. on June 4 at Kingsley Plantation, off Heckscher Drive (on A1A north of the ferry landing), Jacksonville.

Archaeologists from the University of Florida Anthropology Department, completing a field school at Kingsley Plantation, guide visitors through active dig sites.

Admission is free. 251-3537.

CONCERTS IN THE PLAZA Mid-Life Crisis plays at 7 p.m. on June 2 under the oaks at Plaza de la Constitución, located between Cathedral Place and King Street, St. Augustine. The free concerts continue through Sept 5. Bring lounge chairs. Alcohol is prohibited. staugustinegovernment.com/sites/concerts-plaza MUSIC BY THE SEA The free concert series continues with Funk Shui from 7-9 p.m. on June 1 at the Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach. Each week, an area restaurant offers meals for less than $10. The series continues each Wed. through Sept. 28. 471-1686. staugbchcivicassoc.com SOUNDS ON CENTRE The Historic Fernandina Business Association presents a free community concert, featuring the band Instant Groover, from 6-8 p.m. on June 3 in downtown Fernandina Beach, between Second and Front streets. The concert is held on the first Friday of each month through Sept. 30.

Bring a chair. downtownfernandina.com FREE FAMILY CONCERTS The Amelia Island Chamber Music Festival offers free family-friendly concerts, including “Soar with eighth blackbird,” featuring the innovative sextet by that name, held at 11 a.m. on June 8 at Prince of Peace Lutheran Church, 2600 Atlantic Ave., Fernandina Beach. Beth

36 | folio weekly | MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011

Newdome Fellowship Artists perform at 1 p.m. on June 9 at Savannah Grand of Amelia Island, 1900 Amelia Trace Court, Fernandina Beach. No ticket is required for these concerts.

261-1779. aicmf.com RHYTHM CELEBRATION A new moon solar eclipse celebration is held at 7 p.m. on June 1 at Resonance Center, 496 Osceola Ave., Jax Beach. Ambika Devi, cosmic astrologer and musical yogini, is the featured speaker. Advanced polyrhythmic drumming and chanting for experienced drummers is held from 4-6 p.m. on June 2 at Whirledjam, 2733 Rainbow Road, Jacksonville. World chanting and rhythm funshop is held at 7 p.m. on June 3 at Resonance Center. Kirtan and performance with Ambika Devi is held at 8:15 p.m. on June 4 at Ocean Yoga Center, 51 Pine St., Atlantic Beach. The Rhythm Celebration Finale is held from 6-9 p.m. on June 5 on the beach where Atlantic Boulevard meets the ocean.

334-5290 or email joanwarwick@bellsouth.net.

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Lis and Lon Williamson and Trevis Prince perform on June 4 at Riverside Arts Market, held under the Fuller Warren Bridge on Riverside Avenue, downtown. The Arts Market features local and regional artists, a water taxi and a farmers market from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. every Sat. Admission is free. 554-6865, 389-2449. riversideartsmarket.com

POLITICS & ACTIVISM FERNANDINA BEACH IMPACT FEES The Amelia Island-Fernandina Beach-Yulee Chamber of Commerce presents a forum on impact fees at 9 a.m. on June 2 at 961687 Gateway Blvd., Ste. 101G, Fernandina Beach. The featured speakers are Community Development Director Marshall McCrary and Utilities Director John Mandrick. Admission is free for Chamber members, $25 for non-members. Reservations are required as space is limited. To register, go to islandchamber.com TOWN HALL MEETINGS St. Johns County Administrator Michael Wanchick hosts Town Hall meetings throughout the county in June to share budgetary information and solicit feedback. The meetings are held at 6:30 p.m. on June 1 at St. Johns County Convention Center, World Golf Village, located off I-95 in St. Augustine; at 3 p.m. on June 2 at St. Augustine Beach City Hall, 2200 A1A S.; at 6:30 p.m. on June 6 at Southeast Branch Library, 6670 U.S. 1 S., St. Augustine; at 6:30 p.m. on June 9 at Hastings Town Hall, 6195 S. Main St.; at 6:30 p.m. on June 16 at Bartram Trail Branch Library, 60 Davis Pond Blvd., Fruit Cove; at 6:30 p.m. on June 22 at Ponte Vedra Beach Branch Library, 101 Library Blvd., Ponte Vedra and at 6:30 p.m. on June 27 at Main Library, 1960 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd., St. Augustine. 209-0549. sjcfl.us JACKSONVILLE JOURNEY The oversight committee of this crime-fighting initiative meets at 4 p.m. on June 16 in Eighth Floor Conference Room 851, Ball Building, 214 N. Hogan St., Jacksonville.

630-1273.

COMMUNITY INTEREST MAGICAL HISTORY TOUR The Beaches Museum and History Center holds its second

Magical History Tour from 1-4 p.m. on June 4, starting from the museum at 380 Pablo Ave., Jax Beach. Neil McGuinness, author of “The Beaches: A History and Tour, conducts the tour following the former Florida East Coast Railway route from Pablo Station to Mayport Village. Tickets are $50. 241-5657. bm-hc.com LEUKEMIA & LYMPHOMA FUNDRAISER The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society holds a fundraiser at 6 p.m. on June 2 at Mavericks Rock N’ Honky Tonk Concert Hall, The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Drive, downtown. Tickets are $15. 994-9906. Jacksonville.

DCR2@sunriseseniorliving.com COSMIC CONCERTS The laser shows feature Pink Floyd: Wish You Were Here at 6 p.m., Pink Floyd: Dark Side of the Moon at 7 p.m. and Pink Floyd: Best of The Wall at 8 p.m. on June 3 in BryanGooding Planetarium, at Museum of Science and History, 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville. Online tickets are $5.

396-7062. moshplanetarium.org RIDE OUT OF DARKNESS A 65-mile roundtrip motorcycle ride to benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, Florida First Coast Chapter, is held on June 4, starting and ending at Mojo Kitchen, 1500 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. Live music, prizes and food are featured. Registration begins at 8:30 a.m.

891-4351. http://ridingoutofthedarkness.webs.com/ LUNCH-N-LEARN Certified financial planner professional Mark Dennis discusses Savvy Social Security Planning at 11:30 a.m. on June 7 at Picante Grill, 464073 S.R. 200, Yulee. Admission is $15. islandchamber.com MOSH SENIOR DAYS Programming for seniors include a coffee and cookie reception, a discussion on health (bring a bag lunch), an educational program, and free time to explore the museum, are held from 10:30 a.m.-2 p.m. on June 1 at Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville. The cost is $6. Reservations are required and are based on availability. Call 396-6674 ext. 229 for details.

SOLACE FOR CHILDREN The local chapter of this charitable organization holds its second annual summer hosting program, for children with medical needs from Afghanistan, June 1-July 13.

Volunteers are needed and funds need to be raised. For information on how you can help, call 403-6540.

JTA’S SUMMER YOUTH PASS It’s the ticket to unlimited rides on the bus and Skyway and free admission to Jacksonville Suns’ home games.

Purchase a Summer Youth Pass for $30 for June and receive July for free; add August for $15 more. You must purchase your Summer Youth Pass by June 30, and it’s only for those 18 years and younger. 630-3100. jtafla.com

BOOKS & WRITING KAREN WHITE Author White presents her novel, “Beach Trees,” at 3 p.m. on May 31 at The BookMark, 220 First St., Neptune Beach.

241-9026.

SISTERS IN CRIME The Florida Sisters in Crime get together from 10:30 a.m.-noon on June 4 at Southeast Regional Library, 10599 Deerwood Park Blvd., Jacksonville. Betsy Moore, of the local Medical Examiner’s office, is the featured speaker.

Admission is free for members, $10 for visitors. floridasistersincrime.com FRIDAY 5 O’CLOCK WHISTLE TALKS Sam Van Leer (“Bee Keeping in Palm Valley”) appears from 5-6:30 p.m. on June 3 at Beaches Museum & History Center, 380 Pablo Ave., Jax Beach. The weekly program features local authors discussing their books. 241-5657.

PUBLICITY WRITERS CRITIQUE GROUP Get some feedback from local authors, editors and publishers from 6-8:30 p.m. on June 7 at Mandarin Library, 3330 Kori Road, Jacksonville. Diane Barton is the featured speaker. 343-4188. cdspublicity.com

KIDS VISUAL ARTS CAMP The Ortega Visual and Performing Arts Camp, featuring art, theater, music, creative movement, creative writing and composing for kids in grades 1-6, is held from 9:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. on June 13-24 at Ortega United Methodist Church, 4807 Roosevelt Blvd., Jacksonville. Camp fee is $170 (includes materials and snacks). 389-5556 ext. 116.

DANCE CAMP Douglas Anderson School of the Arts offers summer dance intensive for kids in grades 6-12, from 9 a.m.-3:10 p.m.

June 15, 16, 20-23, 27-30 (session 1) and the African Diaspora in Dance workshop, held July 5, 6 and 7 (session 2) at DA School, 2445 San Diego Road, Jacksonville. Call for fees and details, 390-2971. da-arts.org JAX ZOO Jacksonville Zoo & Gardens is the new home for rescued penguins, which are housed in the Tuxedo Coast exhibit.

The Zoo features more than 1,800 rare and exotic animals and over 1,000 unique plant species. Preservation of sustainable biodiversity is a key mission of the nonprofit organization, an accredited member of the Association of Zoos and Aquariums and the World Association of Zoos and Aquariums. It is open from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. daily. 757-4463. jacksonvillezoo.org AMELIA ARTS ACADEMY Amelia Arts offers camps and summer workshops for kids 4-11 from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. weekdays, June 20-Aug. 12 at 516 S. 10th St., Fernandina Beach. Activities include painting, storytelling, band, clay working, global art and music. 277-1225. ameliaartsacademy.org ICE SKATING CAMPS & CLASSES Jacksonville Ice & Sportsplex, 3605 Philips Highway, Southside, offers Hockey Camp for ages 6-14, Summer Learn to Skate Camp for kids ages 6-14, and Figure Skating Academy Level for ages 8-16. Public sessions are half-price while students are enrolled in Learn to Skate and Learn to Play classes. 399-3223. jaxiceandsportsplex.com

COMEDY PAT GODWIN The Comedy Zone features All Stars on May 31. Musical comedian Pat Godwin appears at 8 p.m. on June 1, 2 and 3 and at 8 and 10 p.m. on June 4 at 3130 Hartley Road, Ramada Inn, Jacksonville. Tickets range from $6-$12.

292-4242.

JACKIE KNIGHT’S COMEDY CLUB Tim Pulnik and Brian Thomas appear on June 3 and 4 at the Comedy Club, 3009 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd., St. Augustine. Tickets are $12. 461-8843.

LATITUDE 30 COMEDY Comedy Central’s Forrest Shaw appears, along with Karl Anthony, on June 2, 3 and 4 at Latitude 30, 10370 Philips Highway, Southside. Tickets are $10 and $13. Michael Winslow appears on June 9, 10 and 11. 365-5555.

UPCOMING JACKSONVILLE FOODFIGHT June 9, EverBank Field BIKERS FOR LIFE BENEFIT RIDE June 11, Fleming

Island

DIVERSITY JOB FAIR June 16, University of North Florida KEITH URBAN June 17, Veterans Memorial Arena CATS June 17-19, Times-Union Center 48 HOUR FILM PROJECT June 17-21, The Florida Theatre

on June 4, at 3:05 p.m. on June 5, at 7:05 p.m. on June 6 (Belly Buster Monday), at 7:05 p.m. on June 7 (Family Feast Night), and at 1:05 p.m. on June 8 (Businessperson Special). General admission is $12.50. 358-2846. jaxsuns.com PRO SOCCER JAX DESTROYERS Brand-new pro soccer team, the FC Web.com Jax Destroyers, takes on the Bradenton Academics at 4 p.m. on June 5 at Jacksonville University’s soccer stadium, 2800 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. At press time, at least 14 players with local connections have been signed. Tickets are $5 and $8. jaxdestroyers.com PHOTO SAFARI ON THE BEACH Celebrate World’s Ocean Day with a one-of-a-kind photo safari from 7-10 a.m. on June 5 on Guana Tolomato Matanzas National Estuarine Research Reserve beach; meet at Guana Dam on A1A South Ponte Vedra Beach. This three-hour tour is designed for the advanced beginner and intermediate photographers. Cost is $69; proceeds benefit the Friends of GTM Reserve. There’s a $3 per vehicle parking fee. Space is limited. 823-4500. To register and make payment for this workshop and for more information, go to gtmnerr.org.

TALBOT ISLANDS SEA TURTLES A ranger discusses the life cycle of the sea turtle at 2 p.m. on June 4 at the multi-use trail pavilion, Little Talbot Island State Park, 12157 Heckscher Drive, Jacksonville. The program is free with regular park admission. 251-2320. floridastateparks.org AMELIA RIVER CRUISES Daily historic, wildlife sightseeing, Eco and Discovery tours of Amelia Island, Jekyll Island, St. Augustine and Kingsley Plantation/Ft. Caroline and Cumberland Island are offered.

For pricing and schedule information, call 261-9972 or email info@ameliarivercruises.com. For information on Discovery Tours, call 583-6099 or email denamelia@ yahoo.com. For information and pricing on group charters and special events, call 321-7372 or email lorbell1@aol.com.

ROWING FOR FITNESS Row for fitness and fun with the Bulldog Rowing Club.

Adult and youth learn to row classes are offered monthly.

Experienced rowers also welcome. 256-5082. bollescrew.org

BUSINESS ALIVE AFTER FIVE Jacksonville Business Exchange gathers from 4-8 p.m. on June 2 at BlackFinn American Grille, 4840 Big Island Drive, Southside. jaxbizexchange.eventbrite.com SOUTHSIDE BUSINESS MEN’S CLUB Craig Gustafson, of Space Walk of Jacksonville, is the featured speaker at noon on June 1 at San Jose Country Club, 7529 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville. Admission is $20.

For reservations, call 396-5559.

COGGIN COLLEGE OF BUSINESS LUNCHEON The University of North Florida’s Coggin College of

Business Alumni Chapter holds this luncheon from 11 a.m.-1 p.m. on June 7 at UNF’s University Center, 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville. Ginny Myrick, Senior Policy Advisor with Holland & Knight, discusses “Careers, Politics & Florida Local Government.” Admission is $20. 620-4805.

CLASSES & GROUPS FROM EX-FELON TO EXCELLENCE This workshop, focusing on opportunities for ex-felons, is held from 2:30-4 p.m. on June 6 at Graham Branch Library, 2304 Myrtle Ave., Jacksonville. 735-0940, 630-0922.

THE LEARNING COMMUNITY The Ultimate Disaster Preparedness class is held at 6 p.m. on June 1 at 626 S. Eighth St., Fernandina Beach.

Spanish 201 class is held at 4 p.m. on June 2, 9, 16 and 23. Cheesemaking 101 is held at 1:30 p.m., followed by Cheesemaking 201 at 4 p.m. on June 4. For more classes and fees, call 430-0120. tlcnf.com FREEDOM FROM ADDICTION Buddhist teacher John Jones offers these classes at 7 p.m. on June 2 and 16 at Maitreya Kadampa Buddhist Center, 85 Sailfish Drive, Atlantic Beach. 222-8531.

MeditationInJacksonville.org COMMUNITY HOSPICE SUPPORT GROUPS Bereavement Support is held every Tue., from 6:30-8 p.m. through July 12 at Neviaser Educational Institute of Community Hospice, 4266 Sunbeam Road, Jacksonville; and every Wed., from 6:30-8 p.m. through July 13 at Acosta-Rua Center for Caring of Community Hospice, 5450 Ramona Blvd., Jacksonville. Support group participants must meet with a Community Hospice bereavement counselor before joining a group. To learn if a Community Hospice therapeutic support group might be right for you, call Roxanne Miller, LCSW, manager of bereavement and community grief, at 407-6330.

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Do you have a drug problem? Maybe they can help. 3586262, 723-5683. serenitycoastna.org, firstcoastna.org NAR-A-NON This group meets at 8 p.m. every Tue. and Thur. at 4172 Shirley Ave., Avondale. 945-7168.

BRAZILIAN JIU-JITSU Classes are open to men, women and children, beginning, intermediate and advanced, from 7-9 p.m. every Mon.-Thur., and from 10 a.m.-noon every Sat. at East Coast Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, 7035 Philips Highway, Ste. 7, Jacksonville. The first lesson is free. 554-7800.

JAX JUGGLERS Future jugglers gather outside at local parks in the summertime; check the website for details. Admission is free. jaxjugglers.org Events are listed on a space-available basis. To list an event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price and contact number for publication to events@folioweekly.com or click the link in our Happenings section at folioweekly.com.

MARTIN LAWRENCE June 23, T-U Center FOLIO WEEKLY’S BEER FEST June 24, Morocco Shrine Auditorium

ALEGRIA CIRQUE DU SOLEIL June 29, Veterans Memorial Arena

JAGUARS vs. FALCONS Aug. 19, EverBank Field

NATURE, SPORTS & OUTDOORS BROWN BAG LUNCH LECTURE Guana Tolomato Matanzas National Estuarine Research Reserve holds a brown bag lunch lecture at noon on June 3 at GTM Environmental Education Center, 505 Guana River Road, Ponte Vedra Beach. University of North Florida’s Matt Gilg discusses his work with the green mussel, recently introduced to Florida’s coastal waters. Green mussels are native to the Indo-Pacific region and were first documented in the western hemisphere in 1990, discovered in Trinidad.

Since then, they’ve established populations in the Caribbean and Florida. Bring a lunch. Admission is free; however, reservations are required; call 823-4500.

JACKSONVILLE SUNS The hometown Suns — 2010 Southern League Champs — continue a homestand against the Carolina Mudcats at 7:05 p.m. on May 31 at the Baseball Grounds, 301 Randolph Blvd., Jacksonville. Games continue at 7:05 p.m. on June 2 and 3, and at 1:05 p.m. on June 1. Then the Birmingham Barons is the team to beat at 6:05 p.m.

“Can you dig it?” Archaeologists from the University of Florida Anthropology Department guide visitors through active dig sites during a Public Archaeology Day held at 1 p.m. on June 4 at Kingsley Plantation, off Heckscher Drive (on A1A north of the ferry landing), Jacksonville. Admission is free. 251-3537.

MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011 | folio weekly | 37

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(In Fernandina Beach unless otherwise noted.)

THE BEECH STREET GRILL Fine dining is offered in a casual atmosphere. The menu includes fresh local seafood, steaks and pasta dishes created with a variety of ethnic influences.

Award-winning wine list. FB. L, Wed.-Fri.; D, nightly; Sun. brunch. 801 Beech St. 277-3662. $$$ BEEF O’BRADY’S FAMILY SPORTS PUB F Signature wings, burgers and sandwiches. BW. TO. L & D, daily. 1916 S. 14th St. 261-0555. (For more locations, visit beefobradys.com) $$ BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ F At the foot of Centre Street, the upscale restaurant overlooks the Harbor Marina. The menu includes daily specials, fresh Florida seafood and an extensive wine list. FB. L & D, daily. 1 S. Front St. 261-2660. $$$ BRIGHT MORNINGS The small café offers freshly baked goods. B & L daily. 105 S. Third St. 491-1771. $$ CAFÉ 4750 An Italian kitchen and wine bar. Chef de Cuisine Garrett Gooch offers roasted sea bass, frutti di mare soup, clam linguini, panatela bruschetta and fresh gelatos. Dine indoors or on the terrace. FB. B, L & D, daily. 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., The Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island. 277-1100. $$$ CAFÉ KARIBO F Eclectic cuisine, served under the oaks in historic Fernandina, features sandwiches and chef’s specials.

Alfresco dining. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sat.; L, Sun. & Mon. 27 N. Third St. 277-5269. $$ CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY F European-style breads, pastries, croissants, muffins and pies baked daily. 1014 Atlantic Ave. 491-4663. $ EIGHT Contemporary sports lounge offers burgers, sandwiches, wings and nachos. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Fri. & Sat. The Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island, 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., Amelia Island. 277-1100. $$ ESPAÑA RESTAURANT & TAPAS Traditional Spanish and Portuguese dishes, tapas and paella served in a cozy atmosphere. BW, CM. D nightly. 22 S. Fourth St. 261-7700. $$$ FERNANDELI F Classics with a Southern touch, like a onethird-pound devil dog, Reubens and pulled pork. Sandwiches and wraps built to order from fresh cold cuts, tuna, egg and turkey salads. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 17B S. Eighth St. 261-0008. $ GENERAL STORE F This new store has a little bit of everything. Breakfast includes hot rope sausage, lunch features the Redneck Reuben. Deli meats, cheeses, chicken, fish, pizzas and pasta, too. BW. B, L & D, daily. 520 Centre St. 310-6080. $ GENNARO’S RISTORANTE ITALIANO F Southern Italian cuisine: pasta, gourmet ravioli, hand-tossed pizzas.

Specialties are margharita pizza and shrimp feast. Bread is baked on-site. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 5 S. Second St., 2619400. 5472 First Coast Highway, Amelia Island, 491-1999. $$ HAPPY TOMATO COURTYARD CAFE & BBQ Pulled pork sandwich, chicken salad and walnut chocolate chunk cookie, served in a laid-back atmosphere. BW. CM. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 7 S. Third St. 321-0707. $$ JACK & DIANE’S F Casual cafe offers steak & eggs, pancakes, Cajun scampi, etouffée, curry pizza, vegan black bean cakes, shrimp & grits, hand-carved steaks. FB. B, L & D, daily. 708 Centre St. 321-1444. $$ JOE’S 2ND STREET BISTRO Elegant island atmosphere. NY strip steak with sauces, Maine crab cakes, seafood fricassee and roast chicken penne pasta. BW. CM. D, nightly. 14 S. Second St. 321-2558. $$$ KABUKI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR F Teppanyaki masters create your meal; plus a 37-item sushi bar. BW. D, Tue.-Sun. Amelia Plaza. 277-8782. $$ KELLEY’S COURTYARD CAFE F She crab soup, salads, fried green tomatoes, sandwiches and wraps are served indoors or out on the patio. Vegetarian dishes are also offered. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 19 S. Third St. 432-8213. $ LULU’S AT THE THOMPSON HOUSE F An innovative lunch menu includes po’boys, salads and seafood “little plates” served in a historic house. Dinner features fresh local seafood (Fernandina shrimp every Thur.); nightly specials. BW. L & D, Tue.-Sat., brunch on Sun. Reservations recommended. 11 S. Seventh St. 432-8394. $$ MONTEGO BAY COFFEE CAFE Locally owned and operated, serving specialty coffees and fruit smoothies. Dine in or hit the drive-thru. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 463363 S.R. 200, Yulee.

225-3600. $ MOON RIVER PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Northernstyle pizza by the pie or the slice. Choose from more than 20 toppings. Owner-selected wines and a large beer selection.

BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 925 S. 14th St. 321-3400. $ THE MUSTARD SEED CAFE Organic eatery and juice bar.

Extensive, eclectic menu featuring vegetarian and vegan

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38 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011

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items. Daily specials: local seafood, free-range chicken and fresh organic produce. Wraps, sandwiches, soups. CM. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 833 T.J. Courson Rd. 277-3141. $$ O’KANE’S IRISH PUB F Rustic, genuine Irish pub up front, eatery in back, featuring daily specials, fish-n-chips, and soups served in a sourdough bread bowl. FB. L & D, Mon.Sun. 318 Centre St. 261-1000. $$ PEPPER’S MEXICAN GRILL & CANTINA F The family restaurant offers authentic Mexican cuisine. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 520 Centre St. 272-2011. $$ PICANTE GRILL ROTISSERIE BAR Picante offers flavors of Peru and Latin America, served in a contemporary atmosphere. The menu includes authentic Peruvian cebiche and homestyle empanadas. BW, CM, TO. B, L & D daily.

464073 S.R. 200, Ste. 2, Yulee. 310-9222. $$ PLAE In Spa & Shops at Omni Amelia Island Plantation, the cozy venue offers an innovative and PLAEful dining experience. D, nightly. 277-2132. $$$ SALT, THE GRILL Best of Jax 2010 winner. Elegant dining featuring local seafood and produce, served in a contemporary coastal setting. FB. D, Tue.-Sat. 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., The Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island. 491-6746. $$$$ SANDOLLAR RESTAURANT & MARINA F Dine inside or on the deck. Snow crab legs, fresh fish, shellfish dishes. FB. L & D, daily. 9716 Heckscher Dr., Ft. George Island.

251-2449. $$ SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL F Oceanfront dining; local seafood, shrimp, crab cakes, outdoor beachfront tiki & raw bar, covered deck and kids’ playground. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1998 S. Fletcher Ave. 277-6652. $$ THE SURF F Dine inside or on large oceanview deck.

Steaks, fresh fish, shrimp and nightly specials. Late-night menu. FB. L & D, daily. 3199 S. Fletcher Ave. 261-5711. $$ T-RAY’S BURGER STATION F A favorite local spot; Best of Jax 2010 winner. Grilled or blackened fish sandwiches, homemade burgers. BW, TO. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 202 S. Eighth St. 261-6310. $ 29 SOUTH EATS F Part of historic Fernandina Beach’s downtown scene. Award-winning Chef Scotty serves traditional world cuisine with a modern twist. L, Tue.-Sat.; D, Mon.-Sat.; Sun. brunch. 29 S. Third St. 277-7919. $$

Dustin Hegedus

our advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn dAte: 042611 LE AT 268-3655

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

EAST COAST BUFFET F A 160+ item Chinese, Japanese, American and Italian buffet. Dine in, take out. FB. L & D, Mon.Sat.; Sun. brunch. 9569 Regency Sq. Blvd. N. 726-9888. $$ GENE’S SEAFOOD F Serving fresh Mayport shrimp, fish, oysters, scallops, gator tail, steaks and combos. L & D, daily.

6132 Merrill Rd. 744-2333. $$ KABUTO JAPANESE STEAK HOUSE & SUSHI BAR F This restaurant offers steak & shrimp, filet mignon & lobster, shrimp & scallops, a sushi bar, teppanyaki grill and traditional Japanese cuisine. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 10055 Atlantic Blvd.

724-8883. $$$ LA NOPALERA Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Intracoastal.

8818 Atlantic Blvd. 720-0106.

MEEHAN’S TAVERN F This Irish pub and restaurant serves beef and Guinness stew, Philly cheesesteak sandwiches, traditional lamb stew and jalapeño poppers, made fresh onsite, in a comfy atmosphere. Wifi, HDTVs, non-smoking. BW. L & D, Wed.-Sun. 9119 Merrill Rd., Ste. 5. 551-7076. $$ NERO’S CAFE F Nero’s serves traditional Italian fare, including seafood, veal, beef, chicken and pasta dishes.

Weekly specials are lasagna, 2-for-1 pizza and AYCE spaghetti. CM, FB. L, Sun.; D, daily. 3607 University Blvd. N. 743-3141. $$ ORANGE TREE HOT DOGS F Hot dogs with slaw, chili cheese, sauerkraut; small pizzas. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9501 Arlington Expwy., Regency Sq. 721-3595. (orangetreehotdogs.com) $ PITA EXPRESS Philly, chicken fajita, falafel, chicken Caesar salad and eggplant parmigiana pitas, plus omelets and pancakes. CM. B, L & D, daily. 2754 Trollie Lane. 674-2637. $ REGENCY ALE HOUSE & RAW BAR Generous portions and friendly service in a nautical atmosphere. Fresh fish, specialty pastas, fresh oysters and clams. BW. L & D, daily. 9541 Regency Square Blvd. S. 720-0551. $$ TREY’S DELI & GRILL F Fresh food served in a relaxed atmosphere. Burgers, Trey’s Reuben, deli sandwiches, pork, steaks, seafood, pies. Prime rib specials every Fri. night. CM, BW. L & D, Mon.-Fri. 2044 Rogero Rd. 744-3690. $$ UNIVERSITY DINER F The popular diner serves familiar breakfast fare and lunch items like meatloaf, burgers, sandwiches: wraps, BLTs, clubs, melts. Daily specials. BW. B & L, Sat. & Sun.; B, L & D, Mon.-Fri. 5959 Merrill Rd. 762-3433. $

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

BISCOTTIS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Mozzarella bruschetta, Avondale pizza, sandwiches, espresso, cappuccino. Revolving daily specials. B, Tue.-Sun.; L & D, daily. 3556 St. Johns Ave. 387-2060. $$$ THE BLUE FISH RESTAURANT & OYSTER BAR Fresh seafood, steaks and more are served in a casual atmosphere. Halfportions are available. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 3551 St. Johns Ave., Shoppes of Avondale. 387-0700. $$$

Advertising proof BRICK RESTAURANT F Creative all-American fare like tuna tartare, seaweed salad and Kobe burger. Outside dining. FB. L & D, daily. 3585 St. Johns Ave. 387-0606. $$$ THE CASBAH F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Middle Eastern cuisine is served in a friendly atmosphere. BW. L & D, daily.

3628 St. Johns Ave. 981-9966. $$ ESPETO BRAZILIAN STEAK HOUSE F Gauchos carve the meat onto your plate from serving tables. FB. D, Tue.-Sun., closed Mon. 4000 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 40. 388-4884. $$$ THE FOX RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The Fox has been a Jacksonville landmark for 50-plus years. Owners Ian & Mary Chase serve classic diner-style fare, homemade desserts. B & L daily. 3580 St. Johns Ave. 387-2669. $ MOJO NO. 4 F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 3572 St. Johns Ave. 381-6670. $$ ORSAY Best of Jax 2010 winner. The French/American bistro focuses on craftsmanship and service. FB. D, Tues.-Sat. 3630 Park St. 381-0909. $$$ RUAN THAI F The elegant Avondale restaurant offers authentic Thai cuisine, including curries and pad dishes. CM, FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 3951 St. Johns Ave. 384-6665. $$$ TOM & BETTY’S F A Jacksonville tradition for more than 30 years, Tom & Betty’s serves hefty sandwiches with classic car themes, along with homemade-style dishes. CM, FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4409 Roosevelt Blvd. 387-3311. $$ ’town F Owner Meghan Purcell and Executive Chef Scott Ostrander bring farm-to-table to Northeast Florida, offering American fare with an emphasis on sustainability. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 3611 St. Johns Ave. 345-2596. $$

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 8060 Philips Hwy. 731-4300. $ BROADWAY RISTORANTE & PIZZERIA F Family-ownedand-operated New York-style pizzeria serves hand-tossed, brick-oven-baked pizza, and traditional Italian dinners, wings, subs. Dine-in or delivered. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 10920 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 3. 519-8000. $$ CAFE CONFLUENCE F This European coffeehouse serves Italian specialty coffees and smoothies, along with paninis, salads and European chocolates. Outdoor dining. BW. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 8612 Baymeadows Rd. 733-7840. $ CHA-CHA’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT F Owner Celso Alvarado offers authentic Mexican fare with 26 combo dinners and specialty dishes including chalupas, enchiladas and burritos.

FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9551 Baymeadows Rd. 737-9903. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F Chicago-style deepdish pizzas, hot dogs, Italian beef dishes from the Comastro family, serving authentic Windy City favorites for 25+ years.

CM, FB. L & D, daily. 8206 Philips Hwy. 731-9797. $$ DEERWOOD DELI & DINER F The ’50s-style diner serves malts, shakes, Reubens, Cubans, burgers, and traditional breakfast items. CM. B & L, daily. 9934 Old Baymeadows Rd. 641-4877. $$ THE FIFTH ELEMENT F The first four elements are earth, water, air and fire — but here they prepare authentic Indian, South Indian and Indochinese dishes with artistic flair. Lunch buffet includes lamb, goat, chicken, tandoori and biryani items. CM. L & D, daily. 9485 Baymeadows Rd. 448-8265. $$ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F See Orange Park. 8650 Baymeadows Rd. 448-0500. $$ INDIA RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Extensive menu of entrées, clay-oven grilled Tandoori specialties and chicken tandoor, fish, seafood and korma. L, Mon.-Sat., D, daily. 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8. 620-0777. $$ LARRY’S GIANT SUBS F With locations all over Northeast Florida, Larry’s piles subs up with fresh fixins and serves ’em fast. Some Larry’s Subs offer B & W and/or serve breakfast.

CM. L & D, daily. 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9 (Goodby’s Creek), 737-7740; 8616 Baymeadows Rd. 739-2498. larryssubs.com $ LEMONGRASS F Upscale Thai cuisine in a metropolitan atmosphere. Chef Aphayasane’s innovative creations include roast duckling and fried snapper. BW. R. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.Sat. 9846 Old Baymeadows Rd. 645-9911. $$ MANDALOUN MEDITERRANEAN CUISINE F This Lebanese restaurant offers authentic Mediterranean cuisine: lahm meshwe, kafta khoshkhas and baked filet of red snapper. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9862 Old Baymeadows Rd. 646-1881. $$ MAYURI INDIAN CUISINE F Traditional Indian items include tandoori specials, South Indian, Indo-Chinese, vegetarian, biryani and thali style dishes. BW. L & D. 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 10. 448-5999. $$ NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The organic supermarket offers a full deli and a hot bar with fresh soups, quesadillas, rotisserie chicken and vegan sushi, as well as a fresh juice and smoothie bar. 11030 Baymeadows Rd. 260-2791. $ OMAHA STEAKHOUSE Center-cut beef, fresh seafood and sandwiches served in an English tavern atmosphere. The signature dish is a 16-ounce bone-in ribeye. Desserts include crème brûlée. FB. L & D, daily. 9300 Baymeadows Rd., Embassy Suites Hotel. 739-6633. $$ PATTAYA THAI GRILLE F Serving traditional Thai and vegetarian items and a 40-plus item vegetarian menu in a contemporary atmosphere. B/W. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 9551

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Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1. 646-9506. $$ PIZZA PALACE F See San Marco. 3928 Baymeadows Rd. 527-8649. $$ STICKY FINGERS F Memphis-style rib house specializes in barbecue ribs served several ways. FB. L & D, daily. 8129 Point Meadows Way. 493-7427. $$

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BEACHES

(In Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

A LA CARTE Authentic New England fare like Maine lobster rolls, fried Ipswich clams, crab or clam cake sandwich, fried shrimp basket, haddock sandwich, clam chowdah, birch beer and blueberry soda. Dine inside or on the deck. TO. L, Fri.-Tue. 331 First Ave. N. 241-2005. $$ AL’S PIZZA F Serving hand-tossed gourmet pizzas, calzones and Italian entrees for more than 21 years. Voted Best Pizza

by Folio Weekly readers from 1996-2010. BW. L & D, daily.

303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 249-0002. $ ANGIE’S SUBS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Subs are madeto-order fresh. Serious casual. Wicked good iced tea. 1436 Beach Blvd. 246-2519. $ ATOMIC FLYING FISH SEAFOOD TACO GRILL Beach-casual with Cali-style fish, steak, blackened gator tacos and sides. L & D, daily. 309 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 372-0882. $$ BEACH BUDS CHICKEN F This cozy, family-owned place serves marinated fried or baked chicken: family meals (kids like Peruvian nuggets), giant tenders, in box lunches and as Mini-Me sandwiches, along with gizzards, livers, 15 sides and fried or blackened shrimp, fish, conch fritters, deviled crabs.

TO. L & D, daily. 1289 Penman Road. 247-2828. $ BEACHSIDE SEAFOOD RESTAURANT & MARKET F The full fresh seafood market serves seafood baskets, fish tacos, oyster baskets and Philly cheesesteaks. Dine indoors or outside. Beach delivery. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 120 S. Third St. 444-8862. $$ BONGIORNO’S PHILLY STEAK SHOP F South Philly’s promise of benefit Bongiorno clan imports Amoroso rolls for Real Deal cheesesteak, Original Gobbler, clubs, wraps, burgers and dogs. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2294 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach. 246-3278. $$ BONO’S PIT BAR-B-Q F Baby back ribs, fried corn, sweet potatoes. BW. L & D, daily. 1307 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach.

270-2666. 1266 S. Third St. 249-8704. bonosbarbq.com $ THE BRASSERIE & BAR French/European-style bistro and bar offers coq au vin, French onion soup, fritto misto, Moroccan-style lamb shank. FB. D, Tue.-Sun. 1312 Beach Blvd. 249-5800. $$$ BUDDHA’S BELLY F Authentic Thai dishes made with fresh ingredients using tried-and-true recipes. FB, TO. L & D, daily.

301 10th Ave. N. 712-4444. $$ CAMPECHE BAY CANTINA F Homemade-style Mexican items are fajitas, enchiladas and fried ice cream, plus margaritas. FB. D, nightly. 127 First Ave. N. 249-3322. $$ CARIBBEE KEY F Best of Jax 2010 winner. AmerCaribbean cuisine includes seafood, steaks and sandwiches. Open-air deck bar upstairs; outdoor dining downstairs. FB. L & D, daily.

100 N. First St., Neptune Beach. 270-8940. $$ CASA MARIA See Springfield. 2429 S. Third St. 372-9000.

CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows.

320 N. First St. 270-8565. $$ COPPER TOP SOUTHERN AMERICAN CUISINE F The menu features favorites from The Homestead, like fried chicken, homemade-style biscuits and cornbread, served in a family atmosphere inside a cozy log cabin. CM, FB. Sun. brunch; D, daily. 1712 Beach Blvd. 249-4776. $$ CRAB CAKE FACTORY JAX F Chef Kahn Vongdara presents an innovative menu of seafood dishes and seasonal favorites.

FB. L & D daily. The Factory’s Ashley Hayek is a 2010 Best of Jax winner for Best Bartender. 1396 Beach Blvd., Beach Plaza. 247-9880. $$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2010 winner, serving burgers, sandwiches, nachos, tacos, quesadillas and cheese fries. 319 23rd Ave. S. 270-0356. $ CULHANE’S IRISH PUB Four Culhane sisters own and operate the authentic Irish pub, featuring Guy Fieri’s (“Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives”) fave items — Guinness stew, lamb sliders and fish pie. L, Fri.-Sun.; D, Tue.-Sun.; weekend brunch. FB, CM. 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach.

249-9595. $$ DICK’S WINGS F This NASCAR-themed place serves 365 varieties of wings. The menu also features half-pound burgers, ribs and salads. BW, TO. L & D daily. 2010 Best of Jax winner for Best Chicken Wings. 2434 Mayport Road, Atlantic Beach, 372-0298. 311 N. Third St., 853-5004. $ DWIGHT’S The Mediterranean-style bistro features fresh local seafood, filet mignon, mixed grill and an extensive wine list. D, Tue.-Sat. 1527 Penman Rd. 241-4496. $$$$ ENGINE 15 BREWING COMPANY F This new Jax Beach restaurant serves gastropub fare like soups, salads, flatbreads and specialty sandwiches, including BarBe-Cuban and beer dip. Daily specials, too. CM, BW. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217. 249-2337. $ EUROPEAN STREET F See San Marco. 992 Beach Blvd.

249-3001. $ FIONN MACCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT Casual dining with uptown Irish flair, including fish and chips, Guinness beef stew and black-and-tan brownies. FB, CM. L &

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D, daily. 333 N. First St. 242-9499. $$ THE FISH COMPANY F Fresh, local seafood is served, including Mayport shrimp, fish baskets, grilled tuna and an oyster bar. L & D, daily. CM, FB. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 12, Atlantic Beach. 246-0123. $$ HALA SANDWICH SHOP & BAKERY Authentic Middle Eastern favorites include gyros, shwarma, pita bread, made fresh daily. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 1451 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 249-2212. $$ HOT DOG HUT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. All-beef hot dogs, sausages, hamburgers, crab cakes, beer-battered onion rings and French fries. B. L, daily. 1439 Third St. S. 247-8886. $ ICHIBAN F Three dining areas: teppan or hibachi tables (watch a chef prepare your food), a sushi bar and Westernstyle seating offering tempura and teriyaki. FB, Japanese plum wine. L & D, daily. 675 N. Third St. 247-4688. $$ LYNCH’S IRISH PUB Best of Jax 2010 winner. The full-service restaurant offers corned beef and cabbage, Shepherd’s pie and fish-n-chips. 30+ beers on tap. FB. L, Sat. & Sun., D, daily. 514 N. First St. 249-5181. $$ MEZZA LUNA RISTORANTE F A Beaches tradition for 20+ years. Favorites are Szechuan ahi tuna, lasagna Bolognese and wood-fired pizza. Inside or patio. Extensive wine list. CM, FB. D, Mon.-Sat. 110 First St., Neptune Beach. 249-5573. $$$ MIMI’S SPORTS GRILLE East meets West: Every dish is infused with Asian style and ingredients, including lumpia, yaki tori and several kinds of sushi. FB. L & D daily. 1021 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 270-1030. $$ MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT & BLUES BAR F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Traditional slow-cooked Southern barbecue served in a blues bar atmosphere. Favorites are pulled pork, Texas brisket and slow-cooked ribs. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1500 Beach Blvd. 247-6636. $$ MONKEY’S UNCLE TAVERN F For 25 years, Monkey’s has served pub grub, burgers, sandwiches, seafood and wings.

Dine inside or out on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. 1850 S. Third St. 246-1070. $ NORTH BEACH BISTRO Casual dining with an elegant touch, like slow-cooked veal osso buco; calypso crusted mahi mahi with spiced plantain chips. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 725 Atlantic Rep Beach. am 372-4105. $$$ Blvd.,Sales Ste. 6, Atlantic OCEAN 60 Best of Jax 2010 winner. A prix fixe menu is offered. Continental cuisine, with fresh seafood, nightly specials and a changing seasonal menu. Dine in a formal dining room or casual Martini Room. D, Mon.-Sat. 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 247-0060. $$$ PACO’S MEXICAN GRILL Serving Baja-style Mexican cuisine, featuring carne asada, tacos, burritos, fish tacos and shrimp burritos. CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 333 First St. N. 208-5097. $ PARSONS SEAFOOD RESTAURANT F The family-style restaurant has an outdoor patio and an extensive menu, including the mariner’s platter and the Original Dreamboat.

CM, FB. L & D, daily. 904 Sixth Ave. S. 249-0608. $$ PHILLY’S FINEST F Authentic Philly-style cheesesteaks are made with imported Amorosa rolls. Hoagies, wings and pizza ... cold beer, too. FB. L & D, daily. 1527 N. Third St. 241-7188. $$ RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD GRILL F The Beaches landmark serves grilled seafood with a Cajun/Creole accent.

Hand-crafted cold beer. FB. L & D, daily. 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 241-7877. $$ SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK An array of specialty menu items, including signature tuna poke bowl, fresh rolled sushi, Ensenada tacos and local fried shrimp, in a casual, trendy open-air space. FB, TO, CM. L & D, daily. 1018 Third St. N. 372-4456. $$ SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE F Best of Jax 2010 winner. 111 Beach Blvd. 482-1000. $$ SUN DOG STEAK & SEAFOOD F Eclectic American fare, art deco décor with an authentic diner feel. FB. L & D, daily; Sun. brunch. 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 241-8221. $$ TACOLU BAJA MEXICANA F Best of Jax 2010 winner.

Fresh, Baja-style Mexican fare, with a focus on fish tacos and tequila, as well as fried cheese, bangin’ shrimp and verde chicken tacos. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 1183 Beach Blvd.

249-8226. $$ THAI ROOM RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Dine in an intimate setting as Chef Thepsouvanh prepares Thai cuisine like crispy duck or pan-seared Chilean sea bass. BW. L, Mon.-Fri. D, Mon.-Sat. 1286 S. Third St. 249-8444. $$$ TWO DUDES SEAFOOD PLACE F Brand new, serving up-tothe-minute-fresh Mayport seafood, including shrimp, scallops, snapper and oysters in sandwiches or baskets, grilled, blackened or fried. The Dudes’ salad and a Caesar salad are also available. B, TO. L & D daily. 22 Seminole Rd., Atlantic Beach. 246-2000. $ THE WINE BAR The casual neighborhood place has a tapas-style menu, fire-baked flatbreads and a wine selection.

Tue.-Sun. 320 N. First St. 372-0211. $$

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(The Jacksonville Landing venues are at 2 Independent Drive) ADAMS STREET DELI & GRILL The lunch spot serves wraps, including grilled chicken, and salads, including Greek salad. L, Mon.-Fri. 126 W. Adams St. 475-1400. $$ BURRITO GALLERY & BAR F Best of Jax 2010 winner.

Southwest cuisine, traditional American salads. Burritos and

more burritos. Onsite art gallery. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 21 E. Adams St. 598-2922. $ CAFÉ NOLA AT MOCA JAX On the first floor of Museum of Contemporary Art Jacksonville, Cafe Nola serves shrimp and grits, gourmet sandwiches, fresh fish tacos, homemade desserts. FB. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Thur. 333 N. Laura St. 366-6911 ext. 231. $4 CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows.

The Jacksonville Landing. 354-7747. $$$ CITY HALL PUB On the Trolley route. A sports bar vibe: 16 big-screen HDTVs. Angus burgers, dogs, sandwiches & sides, AYCE wings buffet, soup-n-salad. FB. Free downtown area lunch delivery. L & D, daily. 234 Randolph Blvd.

356-6750. $$ DE REAL TING CAFE F The popular restaurant offers a Caribbean lunch buffet Tue.-Fri. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 128 W. Adams St. 633-9738. $ INDOCHINE Serving Thai and Southeast Asian cuisine in the core of downtown. Signature dishes include favorites like chicken Satay, soft shell crab, and mango and sticky rice for dessert. BW, FB, TO. L, Mon.-Fri., D, Tue.-Sat. 21 E. Adams St. 598-5303. $$ JENKINS QUALITY BARBECUE Family-owned-and-operated.

Jenkins offers beef, pork, chicken, homemade desserts. L & D, daily. 830 N. Pearl St. 353-6388. $ JULIETTE’S & J-BAR Serving dinner before (or dessert after) a show. Breakfast buffet. J-Bar serves bistro-inspired small plates. FB. Daily. Omni Hotel, 245 W. Water St. 355-6664. $$$ KOJA SUSHI F Sushi, Japanese, Asian and Korean cuisine.

Indoor and outdoor dining and bar. FB. L & D, daily. The Jacksonville Landing. 350-9911. $$ THE SKYLINE DINING & CONFERENCE CENTER Weekday lunch includes salad bar, hot meals and a carving station. L, Mon.-Fri.; L, Sun. upon request. FB. 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 3550.

791-9797. $$ ZODIAC GRILL F Serving Mediterranean cuisine and American favorites, with a popular lunch buffet. BW. B & L, daily. 120 W. Adams St. 354-8283. $

FLEMING ISLAND

CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows.

406 Old Hard Road, Ste. 106. 213-7779. $$ GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET F See Riverside. B, L & D, Mon.-Sat.; L, Sun. 1915 East West Pkwy., 541-0009. $ HONEY B’S CAFE Breakfast includes omelets, pancakes, French toast. Lunch offers entrée salads, quiches and buildyour-own burgers. Peanut butter pie is a customer favorite.

Tea parties are held every Sat. B & L, daily. 3535 U.S. 17, Ste. 8. 264-7325. $$ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Intracoastal. 1571 C.R. 220, Ste. 100. 215-2223. $ MERCURY MOON F Appetizers, sandwiches, desserts.

Daily specials. TO, FB. L & D, daily. 2015 C.R. 220.

215-8999. $$ MOJO SMOKEHOUSE F Best of Jax 2010 winner. FB. L & D, daily. 1810 Town Ctr. Blvd. 264-0636. $$ WHITEY’S FISH CAMP F The renowned seafood place, family-owned since 1963, specializes in AYCE freshwater catfish. Also steaks, pastas. Outdoor waterfront dining.

Come by car, boat or bike. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 2032 C.R. 220. 269-4198. $

INTRACOASTAL

AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 14286 Beach Blvd. (at San Pablo Rd.) 223-0991. $ BRUCCI’S PIZZA, PASTA, PANINIS F Brucci’s offers authentic New York-style pizza, Italian pastas and desserts in a family atmosphere. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 36. 223-6913. $ CLIFF’S ROCKIN’ BAR-N-GRILL F Cliff’s features 8-ounce burgers, wings, steak, seafood, homemade pizza and daily specials. FB. L & D, daily. Smoking permitted. 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, Cobblestone Plaza. 645-5162. $$ ISTANBUL MEDITERRANEAN & ITALIAN CUISINE F A varied menu offers European cuisine including lamb, beef and chicken dishes, as well as pizza and wraps. BW. L & D, daily.

13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 26. 220-9192. $$ JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE & STEAKHOUSE F The menu includes wings, hamburgers, Ahi tuna and handcut steaks.

CM, FB. Daily. 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 22. 220-6766. $ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Family-ownedand-operated, serving authentic Mexican cuisine, like tamales, fajitas, pork tacos, in a casual family atmosphere.

CM, FB. L & D, daily. 14333 Beach Blvd. 992-1666. $ MILANO’S RESTAURANT & PIZZERIA Homemade Italian cuisine, breads, pizzas, calzones and specialty dishes. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 12620 Beach Blvd., Ste. 4. 646-9119. $$ TIME OUT SPORTS GRILL F Wings, gourmet pizza, fresh seafood and specialty wraps. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Sat. & Sun. 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5. 223-6999. $$ TKO’S THAI HUT F The menu offers Thai fusion, curry dishes, chef’s specials, steaks, healthy options and sushi.

Hookahs are available. Dine inside or on the covered patio.

FB. L & D, daily. 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 46. 647-7546. $$

ZAITOON MEDITERRANEAN GRILL Traditional Mediterranean family recipes are blended to create Spanish, French, Italian and Middle Eastern inspired dishes. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 13475 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 40, Harbour Village. 221-7066. $$

JULINGTON, NW ST. JOHNS

BLACKSTONE GRILLE The menu blends flavors from a variety of cultures and influences for modern American fusion cuisine, served in a bistro-style setting. FB. L & D, Mon.-Fri., D, Sat.; Sun. brunch. 112 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 102.

287-0766. $$$ BRUCCI’S PIZZA F See Intracoastal. 540 S.R. 13, Ste. 10, Fruit Cove. 287-8317. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA BAKERY & PUB F Transforms from family restaurant to pub serving Chicago-style deep dish pizza. CM, FB. D, Tue.-Fri., L & D, Sat. & Sun. 107 Nature Walk Pkwy., Ste. 101, 230-9700. $$ HAPPY OURS SPORTS GRILLE F Wings, big salads, burgers, wraps and sandwiches. Sports events on HDTVs. CM, FB. 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101. 683-1964. $ PIZZA PALACE F See San Marco. 116 Bartram Oaks Walk.

230-2171. $

MANDARIN

ORANGE PARK

ARON’S PIZZA F This family-owned restaurant offers eggplant dishes, manicotti and New York-style pizza. BW, CM, TO. L & D daily. 650 Park Ave. 269-1007. $$ BLU TAVERN F This restaurant has an upscale feel with a casual atmosphere. Favorites include bread pudding and Orange Park salad. Blu also serves pasta dishes, burgers, seafood, pork, beef and steaks. CM, FB. L & D, daily; B, Sat. & Sun. only. 1635 Wells Rd. 644-7731. $$ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F For 18-plus years, the sports-themed family restaurant has served wings, ribs, entrees, sandwiches.

FB. L & D, daily. 9680 Argyle Forest Blvd. 425-6466. $$ THE HILLTOP CLUB She-crab soup, scallops, prime beef, wagyu beef, chicken Florentine and stuffed grouper. Chef Nick’s salmon is a favorite. FB. D, Tue.-Sat. 2030 Wells Rd. 272-5959. $$ JOEY MOZARELLAS This Italian restaurant’s specialty is a 24-slice pizza: 18”x26” of fresh ingredients and sauces made daily. CM, TO. L & D, daily. 930 Blanding Blvd.

579-4748. $$ PASTA MARKET & CLAM BAR F This family-owned-andoperated restaurant offers gourmet pizzas, veal, chicken and mussels, shrimp and grouper dishes and (of course) pastas: spaghetti, fettucine, lasagna, ziti, calzones, linguini, tortolini and ravioli, all made with fresh ingredients, homemade-style.

Daily specials. CM, BW, sangria. 1930 Kingsley Ave. 276-9551. D, nightly. $$ POMPEII COAL-FIRED PIZZA F Pizzas are baked in coal-fired ovens. Popular pizzas include Health Choice and Mozzarella. Coal-fired sandwiches and wings, too. BW. L & D,

© 2011

FolioWeekly

Walter Coker

AL’S PIZZA Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 11190 San Jose Blvd. 260-4115. $ AW SHUCKS F This seafood place features an oyster bar, steaks, seafood, wings and pasta. Favorites are ahi tuna, shrimp & grits, oysters Rockefeller, pitas and kabobs. Sweet potato puffs are the signature side. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9743 Old St. Augustine Rd. 240-0368. $$ THE BLUE CRAB CRABHOUSE F A Maryland-style crabhouse featuring fresh blue crabs, garlic crabs, and king, snow and Dungeness crab legs. FB, CM. D, Tue.-Sat.; L & D, Sun. 3057 Julington Creek Rd. 260-2722. $$ BROOKLYN PIZZA F The traditional pizzeria serves New York-style pizza, specialty pies, and subs, strombolis and calzones. BW. L & D, daily. 11406 San Jose Blvd. 288-9211.

13820 St. Augustine Rd. 880-0020. $ CASA MARIA F See Springfield. L & D, daily. 14965 Old St. Augustine Rd. 619-8186. $$ CLARK’S FISH CAMP F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Clark’s has steak, ribs, AYCE catfish dinners, 3-pound prime rib. Dine in, out or in a creek-view glass-enclosed room. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Sat. & Sun. 12903 Hood Landing Rd. 268-3474. $$ DON JUAN’S RESTAURANT F Authentic Mexican dishes prepared daily from scratch, served in a casual atmosphere.

FB, CM. L & D, daily. 12373 San Jose Blvd. 268-8722. $$ GIGI’S RESTAURANT Breakfast buffet daily, lunch buffet weekdays. The Comedy Zone (Best of Jax 2010 winner) has an appetizer menu. FB. B, L & D, daily. I-295 & San Jose Blvd.

(Ramada Inn). 268-8080. $$ (Fri. & Sat. buffet, $$$) HALA CAFE & BAKERY F See Southside. 9735 Old St. Augustine Rd. 288-8890. $$ KOBE JAPANESE RESTAURANT The fusion-style sushi restaurant offers oyster shooters, kobe beef shabu-shabu, Chilean sea bass and filet mignon. BW & sake. L & D, daily.

11362 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 8. 288-7999. $$ LET’S NOSH F The authentic Jewish deli offers a full breakfast, lunch, brunch and full-service deli counter. Real New York water bagels, bread baked on site and desserts. CM. B & L, daily. 9850 San Jose Blvd. 683-8346. $ MAMA FU’S ASIAN HOUSE MSG-free pan-Asian cuisine prepared to order in woks using fresh ingredients. Authentic Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese and Thai dishes. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 11105 San Jose Blvd. 260-1727. $$ MANDARIN ALE HOUSE A laid-back atmosphere with 30-plus beers on tap. FB. L & D, daily. 11112 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 19. 292-0003. $$ METRO DINER F See San Marco. 12807 San Jose Blvd.

638-6185. $$ NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Organic supermarket with full deli and salad bar serving wraps, quesadillas, chopped salads, vegetarian dishes. Fresh juice and smoothie bar. Indoor and outdoor seating. Mon.-Sat. 10000 San Jose Blvd. 260-6950. $ PICASSO’S PIZZERIA F Picasso’s specializes in handtossed gourmet pizza, calzones, homemade New York-style cheesecake and handmade pasta. Fresh local seafood and steaks. BW, CM, TO. L & D daily. 10503 San Jose Blvd.

880-0811. $$ WHOLE FOODS MARKET F 100+ prepared items at a fullservice and self-service hot bar, soup bar, dessert bar. Madeto-order Italian specialties from a brick oven pizza hearth. L & D, daily. 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 22. 288-1100. $$

Shrimp and grits, vegetarian lasagna, Sunday supper meatloaf and homemade desserts find an artful home at Café Nola, inside MOCA on North Laura Street in downtown Jacksonville.

MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 41

PONTE VEDRA, NE ST. JOHNS

AL’S PIZZA F Homemade breads, pizza, white pizza, calzones and Italian entrees. Voted Best Pizza in Jax by Folio Weekly readers from 1996-2010. BW. L & D, daily. 635 A1A. 543-1494. $ AQUA GRILL Upscale cuisine offers fresh seafood, Angus steaks, Maine lobster and vegetarian dishes. Outdoor patio seating. FB. L, Mon.-Sat.; D, nightly. 950 Sawgrass Village Dr. 285-3017. $$$ BRUCCI’S PIZZA F Authentic New York-style pizza, Italian pastas, paninis, desserts. Family atmosphere. CM. L & D, daily. 880 A1A, Ste. 8. 280-7677. $$ CAFFE ANDIAMO Traditional Italian cuisine features fresh seafood, veal, homemade pastas and wood-fired pizza prepared in a copper clad oven. An extensive wine list is offered in a cosmopolitan atmosphere. Dine indoors or Out on the terrace. L & D, daily. 500 Sawgrass Village. 280-2299. $$$ LULU’S WATERFRONT GRILLE F On the Intracoastal Waterway, LuLu’s can be reached by car or by boat.

Seafood, steaks and pasta dishes with a sophisticated flair. FB. L & D, daily; Sun. brunch. 301 N. Roscoe Blvd.

285-0139. $$ NINETEEN AT TPC SAWGRASS In Sawgrass’ Tournament Players Club, Nineteen features more than 230 wines and freshly prepared American and Continental cuisine, including local seafood, served inside or al fresco on the verandah. L & D, daily. 110 Championship Way. 273-3235. $$$ PUSSER’S BAR & GRILLE F Freshly prepared Caribbean cuisine, including red snapper Ponte Vedra Jamaican grilled pork ribs and barbecued salmon tower. Tropical rum drinks feature Pusser’s Painkiller. FB. L & D, daily. 816 A1A N., Ste. 100. 280-7766. L, $$; D, $$ RESTAURANT MEDURE Chef Matthew Medure offers his eclectic cuisine featuring local and imported seafood with Southern and Asian influences. F/B. D, Mon.-Sat. 818 A1A N. 543-3797. $$$ RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE Best of Jax 2010 winner. See San Marco. 8141 A1A. 285-0014. $$$$ SIMPLE FAIRE F Breakfast and lunch favorites, featuring Boar’s Head meats and cheeses served on fresh bread. Daily specials. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 3020 Hartley Rd. 683-2542. $$ 619 OCEAN VIEW Dining with a Mediterranean touch, featuring fresh seafood, steaks and nightly specials. FB, CM. D, Wed.-Sun. 619 Ponte Vedra Blvd., Cabana Beach Club. 285-6198. $$$ URBAN FLATS Ancient world-style flatbread is paired with fresh regional and seasonal ingredients in wraps, flatwiches and entrées, served in a casual, urban atmosphere. An international wine list is offered. FB. L & D, daily. 330 A1A N. 280-5515. $$

RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE

AJ’S ON PARK STREET AJ’s is a casual barbecue spot serving smoked St. Louis-style ribs, pulled pork, smoked brisket, seafood and dishes made with a Latin touch. L & D, Mon.-Fri. 630 Park St. 598-0188. $$ AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 1620 Margaret St. 388-8384. $ BAKERY MODERNE F The neighborhood bakery offers classic pastries, artisanal breads, seasonal favorites, all made from scratch, including popular petit fours and custom cakes.

B & L, daily. 869 Stockton St., Ste. 6, Riverside. 389-7117. $ CARMINE’S PIE HOUSE The brand-new Italian eatery serves pizza by the slice, gourmet pizzas, appetizers, classic Italian dishes — calzone, stromboli, subs, panini — wings, and microbrews in a casual atmosphere. BW, CM, TO, delivery.

2677 Forbes St. 387-1400. $$ COOL MOOSE F Classic sandwiches, eclectic wraps and desserts. An extensive gourmet coffee menu with Green Mountain coffees and frozen coffee drinks. B & L, daily.

Brunch, Sun. 2708 Park St. 381-4242. $ CROSS CREEK See Springfield. 850 S. Lane Ave. 783-9579. $$ EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ F See San Marco. 2753 Park St. 384-9999. $ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F See Orange Park. 6677 103rd St., Westside, 777-6135. $$ GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET F A deli, organic and natural grocery, and juice & smoothie bar offers teas, coffees, gourmet cheeses; natural, organic and raw items. Grab-andgo sandwiches, salads and sides. Craft beers, organic wines.

B, L & D, Mon.-Sat.; L, Sun. 2007 Park St. 384-4474. $

42 | folio weekly | MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011

HJ’S BAR & GRILL Traditional American fare: burgers, sandwiches, wraps and platters of ribs, shrimp and fish. CM, FB. L & D, Sat. & Sun., D, Mon.-Fri. 8540 Argyle Forest Blvd., Ste. 1. 317-2783. $$ HOVAN MEDITERRANEAN GOURMET F Dine inside or on the patio. Mediterranean entrées include lamb, and beef gyros. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 2005-1 Park St. 381-9394. $ JACKSONS GRILL The locally owned spot’s original menu has fried pickle chips, Rockin’ Ranch burgers, gumbo, sandwiches. BW, TO. B, L & D, daily. 1522 King St. 384-8984. $$ JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILL F A Riverside tradition, serving 60+ fresh deli and grill items, including hot sandwiches. L, Mon.-Fri. 474 Riverside Ave. 356-8055. $ MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BBQ Smoked meats include wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey and ribs. Homemadestyle sides include green beans, baked beans, red cole slaw, collards. BW, CM. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551. $$ MOON RIVER PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Amelia Island. 1176 Edgewood Ave. S. 389-4442. $ MOSSFIRE GRILL F Southwestern menu with ahi tuna tacos, goat cheese enchiladas and gouda quesadillas. Dine inside or on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. 1537 Margaret St. 355-4434. $$ O’BROTHERS IRISH PUB F Innovative Irish fare and traditional faves are offered, like lambburger with Stilton crust, Guinness mac & cheese, Shepherd’s pie and fishn-chips — plus 18 beers on tap. L, daily except Mon.; D, daily. CM, FB. 1521 Margaret St. 854-9300. $$ PERARD’S PIZZA & ITALIAN CUISINE F Traditional Italian fare is prepared with fresh sauces and dough made from scratch daily, along with a large selection of gourmet pizza toppings. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 11043 Crystal Springs Rd., Ste. 2. 378-8131. $ PERFECT RACK BILLIARDS F Upscale billiards hall has burgers, steak, deli sandwiches, wings. Family-friendly, non-smoking. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 1186 Edgewood Ave. S., Murray Hill. 738-7645. $ PIZZA PALACE ON THE PARK F See San Marco. Outdoor seating. 920 Margaret St., 5 Points. 598-1212. $$ SAKE HOUSE F Japanese grill and sushi bar features sushi, sashimi, katsu, tempura, hibachi and specialty rolls.

CM, BW, sake. L & D, daily. 824 Lomax St. 301-1188. $$ SUMO SUSHI F Authentic Japanese fare, traditional to entrees and sushi rolls, spicy sashimi salad, gyoza (pork dumpling), tobiko (flying fish roe), Rainbow roll (tuna, salmon, yellowtail, Calif. roll). BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2726 Park St. 388-8838. $$ TWO DOORS DOWN F Former Tad’s owner offers traditional faves: hotcakes, omelets, burgers, pork chops, liver & onions, fried chicken, sides and desserts. CM, TO. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 436 Park St. 598-0032. $ WALKERS This nightspot has a tapas menu plus a wide variety of wines, served in a rustic, intimate atmosphere.

BW. Tue.-Sat. 2692 Post St. 894-7465. $ WASABI JAPANESE BUFFET F AYCE buffet. Sushi bar, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, tempura, steak, seafood. BW. L & D, daily. 1014 Margaret St., Ste. 1, 5 Points. 301-1199. $$

ST. AUGUSTINE

A1A ALE WORKS F The city’s only brew pub taps seven hand-crafted ales and lagers. A1A specializes in innovative New World cuisine. FB. L & D, daily. 1 King St. 829-2977. $$ AMICI ITALIAN RESTAURANT F A family-owned-andoperated Italian restaurant offers traditional pasta, veal, steak and seafood dishes. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1915B A1A S., St. Augustine Beach. 461-0102. $$ ANN O’MALLEY’S F Fresh handmade sandwiches, soups, salads and perfectly poured Guinness. Favorites include Reubens and chicken salad. CM, BW, Irish beers on tap. L & D, daily. 23 Orange St. 825-4040. $$ BARNACLE BILL’S BEACHSIDE, BARNACLE BILL’S DOWNTOWN F For 30 years, these family restaurants have served seafood, oysters, gator tail, steak, and popular fried shrimp. FB, CM, TO. Downtown location, L & D daily; beach location, D nightly. 451 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 471-2434. 14 Castillo Drive, 824-3663. $$ BEACH STREET PIZZA New York and Chicago style pizzas, calzones and homemade pasta dishes, all made from fresh ingredients., served in a beach-theme atmosphere. CM. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 4171 A1A S. 461-0910. $$ THE BISTRO AT CULINARY OUTFITTERS Locals lunch on crab cakes, chicken burritos, hamburgers, wraps and soups, made with fresh ingredients. BW, TO. L, Mon.-Fri. 9 S. Dixie Hwy. 829-2727. $ THE BLACK MOLLY BAR & GRILL Brand-new Black Molly Grill serves fresh, local seafood, steaks and pasta dishes in a casual atmosphere. FB, CM. L & D daily. 504 Geoffrey St., Cobblestone Plaza. 547-2723. $$ BORRILLO’S PIZZA & SUBS F Specialty pizzas are Borrillo’s Supreme (extra cheese, pepperoni, sausage), white and vegetarian pizzas. Subs and pasta dinners. L & D, daily. 88 San Marco Ave. 829-1133. $ CAFÉ ATLANTICO Traditional and new Italian dishes served in an intimate space. Master Chef Paolo Pece prepares risotto alla pescatora, with shrimp, scallops and seasonal

Walter Coker

daily. 2134 Park Ave. 264-6116. $$ THE ROADHOUSE F Burgers, wings, deli sandwiches and popular lunches are served. FB. L & D, daily. 231 Blanding Blvd. 264-0611. $ THAI GARDEN F Traditional Thai cuisine made with fresh ingredients, served in a relaxed atmosphere. Curry dishes and specialty selections with authentic Thai flavors. BW. L, Mon.Fri.; D, nightly. 10 Blanding Blvd., Ste. A. 272-8434. $$

Jack and Diane’s is a casual café, serving everything from vegan black bean cakes to hand-carved steaks, on Centre Street in downtown Fernandina Beach.

shellfish, in a parmesan cheese basket. BW. D, nightly. 647 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach. 471-7332. $$$ CAFÉ ELEVEN F Eclectic cuisine like feta spinach egg croissant, apple turkey sandwich, pear-berry salad. Daily chef creations. BW. B, L & D, daily. 501 A1A Beach Blvd.

460-9311. B, $; L & D, $$ CAP’S ON THE WATER F This Vilano Beach mainstay offers coastal cuisine — tapas platters, cioppino, fresh local shrimp, raw oyster bar — indoors or on an oakshaded deck. Boat access. FB. L, Fri.-Sun., D, nightly. 4325 Myrtle St., Vilano Beach. 824-8794. $$ CARMELO’S PIZZERIA F Authentic New York style brickoven-baked pizza, fresh baked sub rolls, Boars Head meats and cheeses, fresh salads, calzones, strombolis and sliced pizza specials. BW. L & D, daily. 146 King St. 494-6658. $$ CELLAR 6 ART GALLERY & WINE BAR Wolfgang Puck coffees, handmade desserts and light bistro-style fare amid local art. BW. Mon.-Sat. 6 Aviles St. 827-9055. $$ CREEKSIDE DINERY Creekside serves beef, chicken and seafood, with an emphasis on low-country cooking. Outdoor deck with a fire pit. FB. D, nightly. 160 Nix Boatyard Rd. 829-6113. $$ THE FLORIDIAN The downtown restaurant serves innovative Southern fare, made with local farmers’ local food. Signature items: fried green tomato bruschetta, ’N’grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. L & D, Wed.-Mon. 39 Cordova St. 829-0655. $$ GYPSY CAB COMPANY F Best of Jax 2010 winner.

International menu features large portions, reasonable prices. FB. L & D, daily. 828 Anastasia Blvd. 824-8244. $$ HARRY’S SEAFOOD BAR & GRILLE F In a historic, two-story house, the New Orleans-style eatery has fresh seafood, steaks, jambalaya, etouffée and shrimp. FB. L & D, daily. 46 Avenida Menendez. 824-7765. $$ KINGFISH GRILL At Vilano Bridge’s west end, Kingfish Grill offers casual waterside dining indoors and on the deck, featuring fresh daily catch, house specialties and sushi. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 252 Yacht Club Drive. 824-2111. $$ KINGS HEAD BRITISH PUB F Authentic Brit pub serves fish & chips, Cornish pastie and steak & kidney pie. Tap beers are Guinness, Newcastle and Bass. BW. L & D, Wed.-Sun. 6460 U.S. 1 (4 miles N. of St. Augustine Airport.)

823-9787. $$ THE MANATEE CAFÉ F Serving healthful cuisine using organically grown fruits, vegetables, grains and legumes. B & L, daily. 525 S.R. 16, Ste. 106, Westgate Plaza. 826-0210. $ MANGO MANGO’S BEACHSIDE BAR & GRILL F Caribbean kitchen has comfort food with a tropical twist: coconut shrimp and fried plantains. BW, CM. Outdoor dining. 700 A1A Beach Blvd., (A Street access) St. Augustine Beach. 461-1077. $$ MILL TOP TAVERN F A St. Auggie institution housed in an 1884 building, serving nachos, soups, sandwiches and daily specials. Dine inside or on open-air decks. At the big mill wheel. FB. L & D, daily. 19 1/2 St. George St. 829-2329. $$ OASIS RESTAURANT & DECK F Just a block from the ocean, with a tropical atmosphere and open-air deck.

Steamed oysters, crab legs, burgers. CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 4000 A1A & Ocean Trace Rd., St. Augustine Beach.

471-3424. $ PURPLE OLIVE INTERNATIONAL BISTRO F Familyowned-and-operated, offering specials, fresh artisan

breads. Soups, salad dressings and desserts made from scratch. BW. D, Tue.-Sat. 4255 A1A S., Ste. 6, St. Augustine Beach. 461-1250. $$ RAINTREE The restaurant, in a Victorian home, offers a menu with contemporary and traditional international influences. Extensive wine list. FB. D, daily. 102 San Marco Ave. 824-7211. $$$ THE REEF RESTAURANT Casual oceanfront restaurant has an ocean view from every table. Fresh local seafood, steak, pasta dishes and daily chef specials. Outdoor dining. FB, CM, TO. L & D daily. 4100 Coastal Hwy. A1A, Vilano Beach.

824-8008. $$ SCARLETT O’HARA’S Best of Jax 2010 winner. Serving Southern fare, barbecue and seafood. CM, FB. L & D, daily.

70 Hypolita St. 824-6535. $$ SOUTH BEACH GRILL Located off A1A, south of the S.R. 206 bridge, this two-story beachy destination offers casual oceanfront dining and fresh local seafood. Dine indoors or out on a beachfront deck. FB. B, L & D daily. 45 Cubbedge Road, Crescent Beach. 471-8700. $ SUNSET GRILLE Casual Key West style and a seafoodheavy menu — it’s a consistent Great Chowder Debate winner. Specialties include baby back ribs, lobster ravioli, coconut shrimp and datil pepper wings with bleu cheese dressing. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 421 A1A Beach Blvd. 4715555. $$$ ZHANRAS F Art-themed tapas-style place has small plate items in a casual, contemporary space. Entrée portions available. CM, FB. D, daily; Sun. brunch. 108 Anastasia Blvd.

823-3367. $$

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER, TINSELTOWN BLACKFINN AMERICAN GRILLE With four dining rooms, BlackFinn offers classic American fare: beef, seafood, pasta, chicken and flatbread sandwiches. Dine indoors or on the patio. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 4840 Big Island Dr. 345-3466. $$ FIVE GUYS BURGERS & FRIES Best of Jax 2010 winner. 13249 City Square Dr. 751-9711. 9039 Southside Blvd., 538-9100.

4413 Town Center Pkwy., Ste. 401. 996-6900. fiveguys.com $ THE FLAME BROILER Serving food with no transfat, MSG, frying, or skin on meat. Fresh veggies, steamed brown or white rice along with grilled beef, chicken and Korean short ribs are featured. CM, TO. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9822 Tapestry Park Circle, Ste. 103. 619-2786. $ THE GRAPE BISTRO & WINE BAR F More than 145 wines, along with a tapas menu of gourmet fare to pair with the wine list. A wide selection of beer is also served. L & D, daily.

10281 Midtown Parkway, Ste. 119. 642-7111. $$ ISLAND GIRL WINE & CIGAR BAR F Upscale tropical vibe.

Walk-in humidor, pairing apps and desserts with 25 wines, ports by the glass. 220+ wines by the bottle; draft, bottled beer. L & D, daily. 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115. 854-6060. $$ JOHNNY ANGELS F The menu reflects its ’50s-style décor, including Blueberry Hill pancakes, Fats Domino omelet, Elvis special combo platter. Shakes, malts. B, L & D, daily. 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Ste. 120. 997-9850. $ LIBRETTO’S PIZZERIA & ITALIAN KITCHEN F Authentic

NYC pizzeria serves Big Apple crust, cheese and sauce, along with third-generation family-style Italian classics, fresh-from-the-oven calzones, and desserts in a casual, comfy setting. L & D, daily. 4880 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1.

402-8888. $$ LIME LEAF F Authentic Thai cuisine: fresh papaya salad, pad Thai, mango sweet rice. BW. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.-Sat. 9822 Tapestry Park Cir., Stes. 108 & 109. 645-8568. $$ MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Tossed spring water dough, lean meats, veggies and vegetarian choices make up specialty pizzas, hoagies and calzones. FB. L & D, daily. 9734 Deer Lake Court (at Tinseltown). 997-1955. $ mellowmushroom.com MITCHELL’S FISH MARKET F Featuring seafood, an ever-changing menu of more than 180 items includes cedar-roasted Atlantic salmon and seared salt-and-pepper tuna. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 5205 Big Island Dr., St. Johns Town Ctr. 645-3474. $$$ THE ORIGINAL PANCAKE HOUSE The recipes, unique to the Pancake House, call for only the freshest ingredients. CM. B, L & D, daily. 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr. 997-6088. $$ OTAKI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE F Family-owned steakhouse has an open sushi bar, hibachi grill tables and an open kitchen. Dine indoor or out. FB, CM, TO. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, nightly. 7860 Gate Parkway, Stes. 119-122.

854-0485. $$$ POMPEII COAL-FIRED PIZZA F See Orange Park. 7860 Gate Parkway. 253-3314. $$ RENNA’S PIZZA F Renna’s serves up New York-style pizza, calzones, subs and lasagna made from authentic Italian recipes. Delivery, CM, BW. 4624 Town Crossing Dr., Ste. 125, St. Johns Town Center. 565-1299. rennaspizza.com $$ SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY F Innovative menu of fresh local grilled seafood, sesame tuna, grouper Oscar, chicken, steak and pizza. Microbrewed ales and lagers. FB. L & D, daily. 9735 Gate Pkwy. N. 997-1999. $$ SOUTHSIDE ALE HOUSE F Steaks, fresh seafood, sandwiches and desserts. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9711 Deer Lake Court. 565-2882. $$ STEAMERS CAFE F Steamers’ menu has all-natural and organic items, including wraps, sandwiches, subs, soups, steamer bowls, smoothies and fresh juices. Daily lunch specials. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4320 Deerwood Lake Parkway, Ste. 106. 646-4527. $ SUITE The St. Johns Town Center premium lounge and restaurant offers chef-driven small plates and an extensive list of specialty cocktails, served in a sophisticated atmosphere. FB. D & late-nite, nightly. 4880 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1. 493-9305. $$ TAVERNA YAMAS This Greek restaurant serves char-broiled kabobs, seafood and traditional Greek wines and desserts.

FB. L & D daily. 9753 Deer Lake Court. 854-0426. $$ URBAN FLATS F See Ponte Vedra. CM. FB. L & D, daily.

9726 Touchton Road. 642-1488. $$ WASABI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Authentic Japanese cuisine, teppanyaki shows and a full sushi menu. CM. L & D, daily. 10206 River Coast Dr. 997-6528. $$ WHISKY RIVER F Best of Jax 2010 winner. At St. Johns Town Center’s Plaza, Whisky River features wings, pizza, wraps, sandwiches and burgers served in a lively car racing-themed atmosphere (Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s the owner).

FB. CM. L & D, daily. 4850 Big Island Drive. 645-5571. $$

WILD WING CAFÉ F Serving up 33 flavors of wings, as well as soups, sandwiches, wraps, ribs, platters and burgers. FB. 4555 Southside Blvd. 998-WING (9464). $$ YUMMY SUSHI F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Teriyaki, tempura, hibachi-style dinners, sushi & sashimi. Sushi lunch roll special.

BW, sake. L & D, daily. 4372 Southside Blvd. 998-8806. $$

SAN JOSE

ATHENS CAFÉ F Serving authentic Greek cuisine: lamb, seafood, veal and pasta dishes. BW. L & D, daily. 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7. 733-1199. $$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Burgers, sandwiches, nachos, quesadillas and cheese fries. 5613 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 1. 737-2874. $ DICK’S WINGS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. NASCARthemed family style sports place serves wings, buffalo tenders, burgers and chicken sandwiches. CM. BW. L & D, daily. 1610 University Blvd. W. 448-2110. dickswingsandgrill.com $ MOJO BAR-B-QUE F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The Southern Blues kitchen serves pulled pork, brisket and North Carolina-style barbecue. TO, BW. L & D, daily. 1607 University Blvd. W. 732-7200. $$

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

BASIL THAI & SUSHI F Offering Thai cuisine, including pad Thai and curry dishes, and sushi in a relaxing atmosphere. L & D, Mon.-Sat. BW. 1004 Hendricks Ave. 674-0190. $$ b.b.’s F A bistro menu is served in an upscale atmosphere, featuring almond-crusted calamari, tuna tartare and wild mushroom pizza. FB. L & D, Mon.-Fri.; brunch & D, Sat. 1019 Hendricks Ave. 306-0100. $$$ BISTRO AIX F Best of Jax 2010 winner. French, Mediterranean-inspired fare, award-winning wines, woodfired pizzas, house-made pastas, steaks, seafood. Indoor, outdoor dining. FB. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, nightly. 1440 San Marco Blvd. 398-1949. $$$ CHECKER BBQ & SEAFOOD F Chef Art Jennette serves barbecue, seafood and comfort food, including pulled-pork, fried white shrimp and fried green tomatoes. L & D, Mon.Sat. 3566 St. Augustine Rd. 398-9206. $ EUROPEAN STREET F Big sandwiches, soups, desserts and more than 100 bottled and on-tap beers. BW. L & D, daily. 1704 San Marco Blvd. 398-9500. $ THE GROTTO F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Wine by the glass. Tapas-style menu offers a cheese plate, empanadas bruschetta, chocolate fondue. BW. 2012 San Marco Blvd.

398-0726. $$ HAVANA-JAX CAFÉ/CUBA LIBRE BAR LOUNGE F Authentic Latin American fine dining: picadillo, ropa vieja, churrasco tenderloin steak, Cuban sandwiches. L & D, Mon.-Sat. CM, FB. 2578 Atlantic Blvd. 399-0609. $ KIRIN SUSHI F On San Marco Square. All-new sushi menu. Dine under neon in a cool atmosphere. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 1950 San Marco Blvd., Ste. 1. 399-3305. $$.

LAYLA’S OF SAN MARCO Fine dining in the heart of San Marco. Traditional Middle Eastern cuisine, served inside or outside on the hookah and cigar patio. BW. L & D, Mon.-

© 2011

GRILL ME! A WEEKLY Q&A WITH PEOPLE IN THE RESTAURANT BIZ NAME: Hunter Downing RESTAURANT: Caribbee Key Island Grill & Cruzan Rum Bar, 100 First St., Neptune Beach BIRTHPLACE: Jacksonville Beach YEARS IN THE BUSINESS: 4 FAVORITE RESTAURANT (other than my own): TacoLu Baja Mexicana FAVORITE COOKING STYLE: Caribbean FAVORITE INGREDIENTS: White wine and scallops IDEAL MEAL: Garlic shrimp and pasta WOULDN’T EAT IF YOU PAID ME: Stuffed tomatoes

Dustin Hegedus

MOST MEMORABLE RESTAURANT EXPERIENCE: Some customers can be unforgettable at times!

INSIDER’S SECRET: Fresh-squeezed lemon for the Tuaca lemon drops.

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: David Garrard CULINARY GUILTY PLEASURE: Late-night Taco Bell

MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 43

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Sat.; D, Sun. 2016 Hendricks Ave. 398-4610. $$

MATTHEW’S Chef’s tasting menu or seasonal à la s, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn dAte: 053111 carte menu featuring an eclectic mix of Mediterranean ROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 ingredients. Dress is business casual, jackets optional. FB.

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D, Mon.-Sat. 2107 Hendricks Ave. 396-9922. $$$$ METRO Best of Jax 2010 winner. Historic 1930s SalesDINER RepF dl diner offers award-winning breakfast and lunch. Fresh seafood and Southern cooking. Bring your own wine. B & L, daily. 3302 Hendricks Ave. 398-3701. $$ PIZZA PALACE F It’s all homemade from Mama’s awardwinning recipes: spinach pizza and chicken-spinach calzones.

BW. L & D, daily. 1959 San Marco Blvd. 399-8815. $$ PULP F The juice bar offers fresh juices, froyo (frozen yogurt), teas, coffees made one cup at a time, along with 30 kinds of smoothies. B, L & D, daily. 1962 San Marco Blvd. 396-9222. $ RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE A Best of Jax 2010 winner.

Midwestern prime beef, fresh seafood in an upscale atmosphere.

FB. D, daily. 1201 Riverplace Blvd. 396-6200. $$$$ SAKE HOUSE See Riverside. 1478 Riverplace Blvd.

306-2188. $$ SAN MARCO DELI F The independently owned & operated classic diner serves grilled fish, turkey burgers and lunch meats roasted daily in-house. Vegetarian options, including tempeh, too. Mon.-Sat. 1965 San Marco Blvd. 399-1306. $ TAVERNA Tapas, small-plate items, Neapolitan-style woodfired pizzas and entrées are served in a rustic yet upscale interior. BW, TO. L & D, Tue.-Sat. 1986 San Marco Blvd.

398-3005. $$$

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BISTRO 41° F Casual dining features fresh, homemade breakfast and lunch dishes in a relaxing atmosphere. TO. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 3563 Philips Hwy., Ste. 104. 446-9738. $ For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770.BLUErUn dAte: 053111 BAMBOO Contemporary Asian-inspired cuisine includes rice-flour calamari, seared Ahi tuna, pad Thai.

FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 eats: barbecue duck, wonton crisps. BW. L, Mon.-Fri.; Produced by JDW Checked by Sales Rep rm Street support Ask for Action D, Mon.-Sat. 3820 Southside Blvd. 646-1478. $$ Produced by jw Checked by Sales Rep dl promise of benefit sUpport Ask for Action BOMBA’S SOUTHERN HOME COOKING F The neighborhood comfort spot offers Southern homestyle fare, featuring fresh veggies. Outside dining is available. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 8560 Beach Blvd. 997-2291. $$ BUCA DI BEPPO Italian dishes served family-style in an eclectic, vintage setting. Half-pound meatballs are a specialty. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 10334 Southside Blvd.

363-9090. $$$ CITY BUFFET CHINESE RESTAURANT F City Buffet offers an extensive selection of Chinese fare, including beef, fish, crabs, chicken, pork, desserts, ice cream, at its all-youcan-eat buffet. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 5601 Beach Blvd.

345-3507. $ CORNER BISTRO & WINE BAR F Casual fine dining.

The menu blends modern American favorites served with international flair. The Fresh Bar offers fine wine, cocktails, martinis. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 9823 Tapestry Park Circle, Ste. 1. 619-1931. $$$ EL POTRO F Family-friendly, casual, El Potro cooks it fresh, made-to-order — fast, hot, simple. Daily specials and buffet at most locations. BW. L & D, daily. 5871 University Blvd. W., 733-0844. 11380 Beach Blvd., 5649977. elpotrorestaurant.com $ EUROPEAN STREET F See San Marco. 5500 Beach Blvd.

398-1717. $

your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: 053111 IBLE AT 268-3655

HALA CAFE & BAKERY F A local institution since 1975 serves house-baked pita bread, kabobs, falafel and daily lunch buffet. Best of Jax 2010 winner. TO, BW. L & D, Mon.Sat. 4323 University Blvd. S. 733-5141. $$ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Intracoastal. 8206 Philips Hwy. 732-9433. $ SPECKLED HEN TAVERN & GRILLE F This stylish yet simple gastropub features Southern-style cuisine made with a modern twist: Dishes are paired with international wines and beers, including a large selection of craft and IPA brews. FB. L & D, daily. 9475 Philips Hwy., Ste. 16.

538-0811. $$ SUNSET 30 TAVERN & GRILL F Located inside the new entertainment complex Latitude 30, Sunset 30 serves familiar favorites, including seafood, steaks, sandwiches, burgers, chicken, pasta and pizza. Dine inside or on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. 10370 Philips Hwy. 365-5555. $$ TOMMY’S BRICK OVEN PIZZA F Premium New York-style pizza from a brick-oven — the area’s original gluten-free pizzeria. Plus calzones, soups and salads; Thumann’s noMSG meats, Grande cheeses and Boylan soda. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4160 Southside Blvd., Ste. 2. 565-1999. $$ WASABI JAPANESE BUFFET F Best of Jax 2010 winner.

AYCE sushi and two teppanyaki grill items are included in buffet price. FB. L & D, daily. 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138C. 363-9888. $$

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

BOSTON’S RESTAURANT & SPORTSBAR F A full menu of sportsbar faves; pizzas till 2 a.m. Dine inside or on the patio. FB, TO. L & D, daily. 13070 City Station Dr., River City Marketplace. 751-7499. $$ CASA MARIA F The family-owned restaurant serves authentic Mexican fare, including fajitas and seafood. The specialty is tacos de azada. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 12961 N. Main St., Ste. 104. 757-6411. $$ JOSEPH’S PIZZA & ITALIAN RESTAURANT F Gourmet pizzas, pastas. Authentic Italian entrees like eggplant parmigiana, shrimp scampi. BW. L & D, daily. 7316 N. Main St. 765-0335. $$ MILLHOUSE STEAKHOUSE F A locally-owned-andoperated steakhouse with choice steaks from the signature broiler, and seafood, pasta, Millhouse gorgonzola, homemade desserts. CM, FB. D, nightly. 1341 Airport Rd. 741-8722. $$ SALSARITA’S FRESH CANTINA F Southwest cuisine made from scratch, served in a family atmosphere. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 840 Nautica Dr., Ste. 131, River City Marketplace.

696-4001. $ THREE LAYERS CAFE F Lunch, bagels, desserts, and the adjacent Cellar serves fine wines. Inside and courtyard dining. BW. B, L & D, daily. 1602 Walnut St., Springfield.

355-9791. $ 3 LIONS SPORTS PUB & GRILL F This modern restaurant’s menu features popular favorites: salads, sandwiches and pizza, as well as fine European cuisine.

Nightly specials. 2467 Faye Rd., Northside. 647-8625. $$ UPTOWN MARKET F Located in the 1300 Building at the corner of Third & Main, Uptown serves fresh fare made with the same élan that rules Burrito Gallery. Innovative breakfast, lunch and deli selections. BW, TO. 1303 Main St. N. 355-0734. $$

WINE LISTINGS ANJO LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Thur.

9928 Old Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1, 646-2656 AROMAS CIGAR & WINE BAR Best of Jax 2010 winner.

Call for schedule. 4372 Southside Blvd., 928-0515 BLUE BAMBOO 5:30-7:30 p.m., every first Thur.

3820 Southside Blvd., 646-1478 CIRCLE JAPAN “Sake 101” 5-8 p.m. every Fri. 12192 Beach Blvd., Ste. 1, Southside, 710-5193 THE GIFTED CORK Tastings daily. 64 Hypolita St., St. Augustine, 810-1083 THE GRAPE 5-7:30 p.m. every Wed.; 1-4 p.m. every Sat. 10281 Midtown Pkwy., Ste. 119, SJTC, 642-7111 THE GROTTO 6-8 p.m. every Thur.

2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726 MONKEY’S UNCLE LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Fri. 1850 S. Third St., Jax Beach, 246-1070 NORTH BEACH BISTRO 6-8 p.m. every Tue. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 OCEAN 60 6-8 p.m every Mon. 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060 PASTA MARKET & CLAM BAR 4-6 p.m. every Tue. 1930 Kingsley Ave., Orange Park, 276-9551 PUSSERS CARIBBEAN GRILL 6 p.m., every second Fri. 816 A1A N., Ste. 100, Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-7766

© 2011

44 | folio weekly | MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011

FolioWeekly

RIVERSIDE LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Fri. 1035 Park St., Five Points, 356-4517 THE GIFTED CORK Call for details. 64 Hypolita St., St. Augustine, 810-1083 THE TASTING ROOM 6-8 p.m. every first Tue. 25 Cuna St., St. Augustine, 810-2400 TASTE OF WINE Daily. 363 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 9, Atlantic Beach, 246-5080 TOTAL WINE & MORE Noon-6 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. 4413 Town Center Pkwy., Ste. 300, 998-1740 URBAN FLATS 5-8 p.m. every Wed. 330 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-5515 WHOLE FOODS MARKET 6 p.m. every Thur.

10601 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 288-1100 THE WINE BAR 6-8 p.m. every Thur.

320 First St. N., Jax Beach, 372-0211 WINE WAREHOUSE 4-7 p.m. every Fri. 665 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 246-6450 4434 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 448-6782 1188 Edgewood Ave. S., Riverside, 389-9997 4085 A1A S., St. Augustine Beach, 471-9900 ZAITOON MEDITERRANEAN GRILL 6-8 p.m., every first & third Wed. 13475 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 40, Intracoastal W., 221-7066

Living Tran in Pakistan

Women’s rights are severely restricted in Pakistan’s tribal areas and among Muslim fundamentalists, but the rights of the country’s estimated 50,000 “transgenders” blossomed in April when the its Supreme Court ordered the government to accept a “third sex” designation on official documents (instead of forcing a choice of “male” or “female”). The court further recommended transgenders be awarded government job quotas and suggested “tax collector” as one task for which they’re particularly suited, since, according to the country’s tax superintendent, “Their appearance causes great embarrassment amongst the people,” and businesses still tends to embarrass debtors into paying quickly.

Government in Action!

Imprisoned rapist Troy Fears, 55, had another four years tacked onto his sentence in April by a Phoenix federal judge after being was convicted of swindling the IRS out of $119,000 by filing 117 fake tax returns from 2005-’09. According to prosecutors, IRS routinely dispatched directdeposit refunds while indifferent to matching the payment recipient with the person whose Social Security number was on the return. Fears wasn’t caught by the IRS, but by a prison guard who found upon his paperwork.

Apparently, the federal government failed to foresee that fighting two wars simultaneously, with historically high wound-survival rates, might produce surges of disability claims. In just the last year, according to an April USA Today report, claims are up over 50 percent, and those taking longer than two months to resolve have more than doubled. Tragically, Marine Clay Hunt, a national spokesman for disability rights who suffered from post-traumatic stress, killed himself on March 31, ultimately frustrated that the Department of Veterans Affairs had lost his paperwork. “I can track my pizza from Pizza Hut on my BlackBerry,” he once said, “but the VA can’t find my claim for four months.”

Close Enough for Government Work: A contract security guard at Detroit’s McNamara Building (which houses the FBI and other vital federal offices) was found in March to have casually put aside, for three weeks, a suspicious package that turned out to be a real bomb. It was eventually safely detonated.

The Census Bureau got it right this time around for Lost Springs, Wyo. In 2000, it missed 80 percent of the population (counting 1 instead of 5). The new total of four (4) is correct, since two people had since died and one moved in.

Police Report

Homeless Charles Mader, a convicted sex offender in Albuquerque, was arrested in May for failure to report his change of address, as required by law. Mader moved out of his registered address, which was a Dumpster, into a community shelter.

Cavalcade of Rednecks

Sharon Newling, 58, was arrested in Salisbury, N.C., in April and charged with shooting at her stepson with a .22-caliber rifl e. She denied shooting “at” him, saying she was just shooting toward him “to make him stop working on his truck.”

A 25-year-old man in Okaloosa County, Fla., was arrested and charged with misdemeanor trespassing after he entered the

Club 51 Gentlemen’s Club, from which he’d been banned in February. The man told police he knew he’d been banned from a strip club but couldn’t recall which one.

Great Art!

Occasionally (as NOTW has reported), art gallery patrons mistake ordinary objects for actual art; like, solemnly “contemplating” a broom inadvertently left behind by a janitor.

Sometimes the opposite mistake occurs. At Rotterdam’s Boijmans van Beuningen museum in May, a wandering patron absentmindedly traipsed through a re-creation of Wim T. Schippers’ floor-level Peanut Butter Platform (a 40-square-foot installation of creamy spread).

The museum manager declined to fence in the exhibit, saying that would spoil its beauty.

Advertising pro

Chutzpah!

A college senior in Colorado complained long-distance in March to the Better Business this is a copyright protected proo Bureau in Minnesota’s Twin Cities because EssayWritingCompany.com, headquartered in Farmington, Minn., failed to deliver the questions, class paper she ordered For (at $23 per page). Theplease call your advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn dAte: 052711 meaning of “academic dishonesty” is evolving, FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 but it’s still a sometimes-expellable offense to Produced by mm Checked by Sa promise of benefit sUpport Ask for Action submit someone else’s work as one’s own.

Filipino Henson Chua, working in the U.S., was indicted in March for illegally bringing back into the country an American-made military spy plane and openly offering it for $13,000 on eBay. Sophisticated equipment like the RQ-11B “Raven” Unmanned Aerial Vehicle requires high-level government approval to prevent acquisition by U.S. enemies.

Democracy in Action

Lisa Osborn was one of only two candidates who qualified to run for two vacant seats on the Bentley (Mich.) Board of Education in May, yet she didn’t win. One vote would’ve put her on the board, but she received none, having been too busy even to vote for herself that day because of her son’s baseball game.

Monika Strub began campaigning for a state parliament seat in Germany in March as a member of the Left Party. Until 2002, Strub, then “Horst Strub,” was with the neo-Nazi National Democratic Party, but then decided he was really a female, underwent surgery and became Monika, a socialist. Not surprisingly, she has been harassed by some former colleagues.

Least Competent Criminals

Perps Making It Easy on the Cops in Joliet, Ill.: In April, Domonique Loggins, 21, ran from two Joliet officers (he was suspected of assaulting his girlfriend). His escape took him through Bicentennial Park downtown. Obviously unknown to him, dozens of police officers from surrounding jurisdictions were in the park that day at a training session, with 60 squad cars in a parking lot. Loggins was arrested.

Police imposters usually drive cars resembling cruisers (flashing lights, scanners) and have impressive, if fake, ID. Hector Garcia-Martinez, 35, fooled no one in April as the two women whose car he stopped immediately called 911. The “officer” had none of the trappings except, as he lamely pointed out, a sticker on his front license plate reading “Woodridge Police Junior Officer” (the kind given to kids at police events).

Chuck Shepherd WeirdNews@earthlink.net

MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011 | folio weekly | 45

FreeWill Astrology ARIES (March 21-April 19): The film “The Men Who Stare at Goats” is about the U.S. army’s efforts to harness psychic powers for military purposes. It’s not entirely a work of the imagination. In fact, there’s substantial evidence that such a program actually existed. As the movie begins, a caption on the screen informs viewers that “More of this is true than you would believe.” I suspect there’s be a comparable situation unfolding in your life in the weeks ahead. As you experience a rather unusual departure from regularly scheduled reality, fact and fiction may be deeply intertwined. Will you be able to tell them apart?

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I dreamed you were a member of an indigenous tribe in what Westerners call New Guinea. You’d recently begun to show unusual behavior suggesting you were developing enhanced cognitive abilities. You’d solved one of the tribe’s long-standing problems, spontaneously spouted improvised poetry and were spotted outside late at night having animated conversations with the stars. Some friends and relatives were now referring to you by a new name that in your native tongue meant “the one who dances naked with the deities.” How would you interpret my dream? I think it suggests you may be on the verge of growing an intriguing new capacity or two.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In the far northern reaches of Ilulissat, Greenland, the sun sets for good on Nov. 29 every year and doesn’t rise again until Jan. 13. Or at least that was true until 2011. This year, to the shock of locals, sunlight broke over the horizon on Jan. 11, two days ahead of schedule. Though a few alarmists theorized this disturbance in the age-old rhythm was due to a shift in the Earth’s axis or rotation, scientists suggested the cause was global warming: Melting ice caused the horizon to sink. I expect something equally monumental to make an appearance in your world soon. Can you handle an increased amount of light?

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I’m not a big fan of the “No Pain, No Gain” school of thought. Personally, I’ve drummed up more marvels and wonders through the power of rowdy bliss than from hauling 1,000-pound burdens across the wasteland. But I do recognize that in my story and others’, hardship can sometimes provoke inspiration. I think it may be one of those moments for you. Accept this medicinal prod from ancient Roman poet Horace: “Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents that in times of prosperity would have lain dormant.”

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In his 1934 book, “Beyond the Mexican Bay,” British author Aldous Huxley observed “the natural rhythm of human life is routine punctuated by orgies.” He was using the word “orgies” in its broadest sense — not to refer to wild sex parties, but to cathartic eruptions of passion, uninhibited indulgence in revelry and spirited rituals of relief and release. That’s the kind of orgy you’re due; it’s high time to punctuate your routine.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do,” wrote essayist Walter Bagehot. Personally, I don’t think that’s the supreme joy possible for a human being, but it definitely has a provocative appeal. I recommend you explore it in the weeks ahead. Astrological omens suggest you’re in an excellent position to succeed at an undertaking you were told is unlikely or even impossible to do.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): When people unsubscribe from my newsletter, they’re asked to say why they’re leaving. In a recent note, a dissatisfied customer wrote, “Because you’re a crackhead who makes no sense. You sound like you write these horoscopes while you’re stoned on mushrooms.”

46 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011

For the record, I not only refrain from crack and magic mushrooms while crafting your oracles, I don’t partake of any intoxicants at any other time, either — not even beer or pot. I’m secretly a bit proud, though, that the irate ex-reader thinks my drug-free mind is so wild. In the week ahead, try an experiment inspired by this scenario: Without losing your mind, see if you can shed some habitual restrictions you let impinge on your mind’s free, creative.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The roots of big old trees are your power objects. Visualize them in your mind’s eye for a few minutes each day, maybe go look at actual trees whose roots show above ground. Doing so strengthens your resolve and increases your patience to help you find the deeper sources of nurturing you need. Another exercise likely to energize you in just the right way? Picture yourself at age 77. Create a detailed vision of who you’ll be then.

See yourself drinking a cup of tea as you gaze over a verdant valley on a sunny June afternoon. What are you wearing? What kind of tea is it? What birds do you see?

What are your favorite memories of the last 30 years?

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): If you’re a physicist or Wall Street broker, your assignment this week is to read the poetry of Pablo Neruda (bit.ly/NerudaSongs). If you’re a kirtan-chanting yogini or a New Age self-help newsletter author, read up on the scientific method (bit. ly/ScienceMethod). If you’re white, be black and vice versa. If you’re yellow, be violet and if red, be green. If you’re a tight-fisted control freak, try being a laid-back connoisseur of the mellowest vibes imaginable and vice versa. It’s Mix-It-Up Week, time to play with flipping and flopping your usual perspectives, roles and angles.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Describing muckraking journalist Peter Freyne, Sen. Patrick Leahy said, “He knew the difference between healthy skepticism and hollow cynicism.” Mastering that distinction happens to be your next assignment. Can you distinguish between your tendency to make compulsive negative judgments and your skill at practicing thoughtful, compassionate discernment?

My astrological omen-reading suggests you’ll have a successful week if you do. Not only that, the universe conspires to bring blessings you didn’t realize you needed.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “There is time for work,” said fashion designer Coco Chanel, “and time for love.

That leaves no other time.” I understand and sympathize with that, but I’m begging you to make an exception to it in the weeks ahead. In addition to getting a healthy quota of work and love, do your best to carve out a few hours specifically devoted to engaging in unadulterated, unapologetic, unbridled play — the kind of flat-out, free-form, full-tilt fun and games that can permanently increase your levels of liberation.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Although I have an intimate ongoing relationship with the Divine Wow, it’s perfectly fine with me if others don’t. Some of my best friends are atheists and agnostics. But I must admit I laughed derisively when I heard the supposed genius Stephen Hawking declared, with the fanatical certainty of a religious fundamentalist, that heaven does not exist. How unscientific of him! The intellectually honest perspective is, of course, that there’s no way to know for sure about that possibility. I bring this up as an example of what not to do. It’s particularly important now that you not be blinded by your theories about the way things work. If you put an emphasis on your raw experience rather than your preconceived biases, you’ll be blessed with as much beauty and truth as you can handle.

Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

TALL AND DASHING REDHEAD You bought me a double whiskey diet at The Players Championship. I saw you at a wedding the next weekend and brought you a drink from the open bar. You talked about politics and history, but for some reason I really want to see you again. Your turn to provide the drinks! When: May 14, 2011. Where: The Players Championship. #1124-0531 CHOCOLATE BEAUTY WITH RED WIG Me: 5’8”, dark, chocolate lover searching for some hair supplies. You: medium-skinned trying on wigs. Your friends said it looked good but you don’t need a wig, you’re perfect the way you are. I wanna put my relaxer in your hair, let’s meet? When: May 19, 2011. Where: JC’s Beauty Supply. #1123-0531 HOTTIE SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS You, hottie with tattoos, signing autographs for underage fan-girls. Me, more than a fan-girl, wanting more than an autograph, but unable to do anything but stare at your hotness. I will do anything to prove I am your number one fan-girl. When: May 6, 2011. Where: Mayport Base. #1022-0524 PERFECTLY ROUND SHAVED HEAD Beside each other at Winn Dixie on Sunday evening. I noticed your perfectly round shaved head, nice eyes and a tat on your left arm. You waited to leave in your silver x-terra until I was leaving...should’ve said something.

When: April 10, 2011. Where: Winn Dixie, Old St. Augustine. #1021-0524 REMEMBER MY UNIQUE NAME? You: Cute manager at the new Mojo’s in Avondale with the beard and Castro cap. Me: Dark red hair, Smiths T-shirt.

You came by our table to check on our food and we had a lengthy talk about our distaste for tequila and the Killers.

Said you got off too late to hang out that night. When do you get off early? When: May 7, 2011. Where: New Mojo’s. #1120-0517 MOTHER’S DAY POPS SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA You, a beautiful blonde with a green backpack beach chair.

Your attire consisted of an eye-catching black-and-white striped dress with an aesthetically pleasing smile! The orchestra was excellent but ended too quickly. Wish we could have been together longer. Cheerio. When: May 8, 2011. Where: Jacksonville Beach Pavilion Lawn. #1119-0517 MARCH OF DIMES WALK Me: Standing at the Publix tent in my tan hat. You: wearing a red shirt walking for Wells Fargo, you walked up to me and said “Hello” like you knew me. Wish I would have talked to you more! Would like to get to know you! When: May 7, 2011. Where: March of Dimes Walk. #1118-0517

NATIVE PRINCESS When I met you the blueprint was written. The hair, the curves and the wit are making me smitten. Now I totally know what I want my Robot Girlfriend to look like. So, thanks, Panda. When: Heaven. Where: April 23, 2011. #1113-0503 LEGALLY LUSCIOUS I was enjoying my coffee when your sexy sculptured physique caught my eye. You told me about recently graduating law school. That’s good because I am building a case against you for stealing my heart. I’d love to talk some legal jargon and ride your bike. I’ll be careful popping the wheelies. Do you object? When: April 19, 2011. Where: Starbucks in Riverside. #1112-0503 GIGGLING GATOR & GYM You: tall, blonde, wearing a Simpsons/FamilyGuy? shirt. Me: oversized yellow shirt. We met once before at a scummy bar, but my wing(wo)man flailed on me & you forgot my name. The second incident was the gym, but I choked. You offered me a place to crash initially, maybe I’ll take you up on that next time? When: April 20, 2011. Where: The Giggling Gator/ Gym. #1111-0503 HOTTIE IN THE GARDEN You, lounging on your foldout in the middle of your Forbes Street yard. I stopped back by in my jeep and you were diggin in the dirt. I think you said your name, but all I can remember is beautiful. When: April 1, 2011. Where: Riverside. #1110-0426 STRAWBERRY MOJITO After we harassed the waiter for strawberry mojitos, it sounded pretty tasty, so you ordered one. Care for another?

When: April 19, 2011. Where: Mossfire. #1109-0426 SHARKFEST 2011 You: Red shirt, jeans. Me: Black button-down and dark hair. We made eye contact a few times. Loved your tongue technique with those jello shots. Maybe we can have a little more oral … conversation! When: April 16, 2011. Where: Sharkfest 2011. #1108-0426 MY CHOCOLATE DESIRE You: black workout suit. Me: black/white striped tank.

You had me speechless when you walked over to me and placed your arm around me. So much so... I have no idea what you said to me. LOL Let’s try this again? Ms. Intrigued.

When: April 15, 2011. Where: Folio Weekly’s Margarita Fest. #1107-0426 ONLY THERE FOR ORIENTATION… I passed you in the main hallway. You had a perfect smile and perfect eyes. We locked eyes up until we passed. And I

ran into you a few more times. I had a black polo, short black hair, glasses. You did something to me. When: April 14, 2011. Where: My Workplace in Orange Park. #1106-0426 BEAUTY AND THE BANK You looked a bit flustered at the ATM. Your beautiful curly locks, mesmerizing emerald eyes, and even your faint, perfectly placed freckles made my heart beat frantically.

I hope whoever put that ring on hand fills you with the magnitude of joy you filled me with in those brief seconds of bliss! When: March 22, 2011. Where: Chase Bank ATM. #1105-0426

‘80s. Let’s make bubbles. When: March 30, 2011. Where: Underwater. #1099-0412 HEY, I SAW U! I saw you strutting your stuff at some wings n a boat place.

Think you’re a fly chick. I know where to find you. Wanna play? When: March 29, 2011. Where: Buffalo Wild Wings. #1098-0405 SOUTHSIDE FENDER BENDER Oops! Sorry about that. You: tall, hot, unshaven, driving a truck. Me: flustered blonde on my way to work. Even though there was no damage, wish we would have exchanged info.

When: Feb. 2011. Where: Southside Blvd. #1097-0405

I SAID HI You were passing me at the register that evening, with a white shirt, and your beautiful eyes reached mine and I said hi. Wish I could have said more. But the smile you gave me with those eyes sold me. Wish I could see you again. When: April 11, 2011. Where: Kangaroo on Southside near Avenues Mall. #1104-0419

INTRIGUED AT BONEFISH We talked briefly at BoneFish. You are a PT. We never got a chance to finish our conversation. You definitely piqued my interest. Would love to chat more and see where it goes if you are up for it. When: March 24, 2011. Where: BoneFish Jax Beach. #1096-0405

NAVY OFFICER BEACH BEAUTY Sorry I thought you worked at Walmart, but my point was I wanted to ask you out. I could use a little Naval discipline.

When: April 10, 2011. Where: Jax Beach. #1103-0419

DID YOU NEED TO SEE YOUR CHIROPRACTOR? We were both looking at DVDs in the library. Hope you did not have to see your chiropractor! When: March 36, 2011.

Where: Library. #1095-0405

HANDSOME AT LOFT THURSDAY You: Handsome, tall, wearing a black DC shirt outside The Loft on Thursday. Wanted to talk to you, will I get the chance? When: April 7, 2011. Where: The Loft. #1102-0419

ST. PATRICK’S AROUND MIDNIGHT You: blond, young, attractive, next to me at the bar. Neither of us said a word. You kept caressing my arm. I should have said hello, or at least bought you a drink. When: March 17, 2011. Where: Lynch’s Irish Pub. #1094-0405

I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD I saw you under the pier, lying stiff as a board and it looked like you weren’t breathing. I poked you and you jumped up at me like a crazy person, but that’s the fastest my heart has ever beat. I hope you read this and remember me, maybe we can talk someday. When: April 5, 2011. Where: Under the pier. #1101-0412 WHITE FEDORA, TOP AND PANTS Hat with black band set off your olive skin, your toes were the only other color besides your beautiful eyes. Got you dancing, dreaming, my Queen, I’ve found her! Hoping he’s just a date? A beautiful smile and the face of an angel.

Meet me: grey shirt, black hair, for more good music, dancing, smiles, Baymeadows’ My Place, Fridays. When: Sunday after Blues Fest. Where: Atlantic after Blues Fest. #1100-0412 UNDERWATER BANANA HAMMOCK I was taking a dive in the deep end, and swam past the most beautiful humpback whale. You may not be a whale, but I think you know what I want to do to your back. It’s true what they say, “Abyss” was the greatest movie of the

WHAT DOES MP MEAN? You have an Irish name but don’t look Irish. You asked about my goofy foot tattoos. Then you left. Sad face. See you next time, maybe. When: March 17, 2011. Where: BCB. #1093-0329 I’LL LET YOU DO DINNER HUMOR We sat across the same table at a networking meeting. You, tall dark & handsome. Me, trying to catch your attention.

I tried to make you laugh and in your deadpan ways you told me you’ll do the humor. I know I’ll win you over. Care to share business cards? When: Feb. 28, 2011. Where: San Jose Country Club. #1091-0322 EXCITEDLY SEEKING HOT FILIPINO You were a hot enthusiastic Filipino; a total flirt. It was Feb. 9. I think you understand why I can’t say exactly how we met, but I was the super sexy redhead w/ the great personality. We talked about Hawaii and your hand.

I want to know if you were serious about us going out!

When: Feb. 9, 2011. Where: Cambridge Medical Institute. #1090-0322

To place your free I Saw U love connection, go to folioweekly.com/isawu.php fax 904.260.9773 or snail mail ATTN: I Saw U Folio Weekly, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256

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CUTE GUY ON THE PHONE I first saw you walking around the library, you were wearing a blue shirt, you had a blonde shaved head, Khaki shorts, Then as I was leaving you were on the phone outside, we made eye contact and shared a smile. When: May 4, 2011.

Where: Jacksonville Public Library. #1116-0510

60-WORD I SAW U, NO ABBREVIATIONS AND PLEASE NO NAMES!

EMAIL ______________________________________

WHICH END WAS UP? Your laughter, a melody at my manchild ways. Me, a blubbering idiot for a simple jappy Jew. Let’s sit together forever and watch the world go by. Took loosing each other, too find each other again. Forever after starts now.... When: March 25, 2011. Where: Everywhere. #1115-0503

___________________________________________________________________________________________

OOPS You: Ritz bartender off work. Me: black curls, green eyes, soft lips. We started making out (for some reason), I paused long enough to ask if u had a gf (OOPS), u said no and we kept going at it. Somehow I have pics of the hot makeout session thanks to my roommate. Good times, I want more!

When: April 17, 2011. Where: Ritz. #1117-0510

WE LOCKED EYES I fell hopelessly in love with you the moment I laid eye so on you id do anything to just glace one more time into your eyes an kiss your soft lips I have and I always will. When: April 25, 2011. Where: Our special place by the dumpster. #1114-0503

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“Don’t get me wrong: Constructing crosswords is fun. What takes forever is the ___”

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MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011 | folio weekly | 49

The Unspoken Option

Education cuts, a balanced budget and the missing equation

L

ately, there have been many public discussions about the effects of and rationale behind funding cuts to our local public schools. The Duval County Public School system is facing a $90 million-plus shortfall this coming academic year. (This is in a county where fully 50 percent of students come from poverty, based upon free and reduced lunch statistics.) Currently on the table are: The complete elimination of art, music and sports; moving to a four-day school week; shortening the school day; unpaid “furloughs” for teachers; cutting transportation to magnet schools, etc. In other words: draconian cuts.

The vast majority of the public — based upon calls to radio shows, editorials and letters in the newspaper — seem to be sympathetic to public school advocates’ appeals for a more equitable distribution of state funds for education. They decry the fact that the state is trying to cut its way to financial health at the expense of its children’s education. Most seem to see such cuts as both unproductive (attracting businesses requires good schools) and unethical (we have a moral obligation to teach our students to think critically in order to participate fully in a democratic society).

Yet some have proven to be far less © 2011 sympathetic to the plight of public schooling in our state. Conservative politicians and the business community have repeated the mantra that all state agencies are facing cuts and thus, for the fiscal health of the state, each agency must be willing to put itself on the sacrificial altar. Times are hard, so we must all do with less. To further mollify critics of draconian cuts to state agencies, and to squelch debate itself, members of this camp frequently cite the fact that Florida has a constitutional obligation to balance the budget.

Though apologists for radical education cuts are correct that no agency wants to see its budget cut and that Florida does indeed have a balanced budget amendment, the underlying basis of their argument (that there is no remedy for the dilemma the state is in and that education should face the same fate as other agencies) fails for three major reasons.

First, the state constitution also contains the explicit provision that the state must provide for a high quality education for all Florida students: “The education of children is a fundamental value of the people of the state of Florida. It is, therefore, a paramount duty of the state to make adequate provision for the education of all children residing within its borders. Adequate provision shall be made by law for a uniform, efficient, safe, secure and high quality system of free public schools that allows students to obtain a high quality education” (Article IX, Section 7, 1(a)).

Few can be so brazen as to deny that cutting school days, cutting school hours, cutting transportation and cutting all “non-essential” curricula (e.g., arts, music, P.E.) detract significantly from the “high quality” education.

The failure to provide Florida’s students with a high quality education is no less illegal (but far more immoral) than failing to balance the budget. It seems sometimes that apologists for

FolioWeekly

concurrent tax cuts and spending cuts are quite selective in which laws they choose to value and enforce.

Second, cutting one’s way to financial health ignores a central component of basic economics: Sometimes governments and private entities must raise funds to meet their obligations. For corporations, this means selling company stock or borrowing. For governments, this means raising taxes or borrowing. The latter, of course, we know to be a bad idea, as we are facing record debt levels.

We are, therefore, left with only one option: raising taxes. But even though our youngest and most vulnerable citizens (K-12 students) are about to pay the price for the state’s long

business climates also have higher corporate and individual tax rates. California, New York and Massachusetts are certainly not experiencing a mass exodus of corporations (even though their state corporate tax rates are among the highest in the nation). Rather, corporations form there and stay there because these locations have strong infrastructures and an overall high quality of life. Despite all of this, Florida’s governor and its super-majority Republican state legislature voted to grant even further tax cuts to corporations while, ironically, bemoaning their inability to adequately fund education.

In an era of increasingly laissez-faire economic policy, individual and corporate greed have supplanted common sense and

No one is willing to acknowledge that low taxes and budget cuts are not the solution to myriad problems facing our state but are, in reality, part of the problem. existing laissez-faire economic policies, the idea of raising taxes is also so unpopular to taxpayers — in part because taxes have long been portrayed by the right as a “burden” rather than the small price we pay to live and function in a democracy — that the issue is not even discussed as an option. It is so taboo that politicians from both camps refuse to even say the word “taxes” — unless, of course, it is preceded by the words “no new.”

Raising Florida’s corporate tax rate (already low at a flat 5.5 percent) is off the table.

Temporarily instituting an individual state income tax (Florida has none) is off the table.

Temporarily raising local millage rates (also fairly low compared to the national average) is off the table. No one, it appears, is willing to acknowledge that, just possibly, excessively low taxes and damaging budget cuts are not the solution to myriad problems facing our state but are, in reality, part of the problem.

Third, apologists for draconian cuts — people who tend to say the word “government” with such disdain that it sounds like a disease — ignore the fact that attracting businesses (and jobs) to our community requires first and foremost a solid infrastructure, one that includes strong schools and creates graduates ready to enter the workforce.

By promoting the belief that corporations will avoid Florida at the merest hint of raising the corporate tax rate (an erroneous belief based upon “trickle-down” economic theory), corporation-loving politicians are using fear to promote what is a very political and self-serving agenda (to produce wealth for shareholders).

Such purveyors of fear and false information of course pay no heed to the wealth of research that undermines their arguments, including a recent major longitudinal study that found no correlation between local and state tax rates and an individual’s decision to stay or leave a place (http://n.pr/jQFjfZ). At the same time, they also ignore the fact that states with the strongest

care for community. Gone from the debate is the notion that sometimes we must all sacrifice for the good of our neighbors and our community. Gone is the idea that when our society prospers, we all prosper. Gone is the idea that all students, regardless of race, ethnicity or economic status, deserve the opportunity that education can provide for upward social and economic mobility and with it an increased and empowered political voice. (Maybe this is the fear underlying cuts to public education?) The rhetoric used to advocate for harmful cuts to education shows that, among some, such inherently democratic ideals have been replaced with the idea that the most needy among us are expendable and unworthy of the promise of the “American ideal.”

What too many pro-cut politicians are currently ignoring is that at the forefront of any and all debates on spending priorities — especially of public education — should be the fact that those most harmed by the cutting of public services are those at the lower end of the socioeconomic spectrum.

Instead, however, the rhetoric of “choice” — that a parent can choose to send her or his child to other, higher-performing schools — predominates. The rhetoric of meritocracy (that the most capable can and will rise to the top despite a multitude of inequities and injustices) persists.

Certainly we face difficult financial times.

That is without question. What should be open to debate, however, is how to fix our state’s problems without damaging our most valuable resource: our children. Doing so will require a level of bravery and sacrifice that, thus far, few have been willing to accept.

John White

White is an assistant professor at the University of North Florida and a founding member of The Education Policy Forum.

Folio Weekly welcomes Backpage Editorial submissions. Essays should be at least 1,200 words and on a topic of local interest or concern. Email your Backpage to themail@folioweekly. com or snail mail it to Anne Schindler, Editor, Folio Weekly, 9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256. Opinions expressed on the Backpage are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the editors or management of Folio Weekly.

50 | folio weekly | MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011

MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2011 | folio weekly | 51

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