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Hal Crowther on The Triumph of Osama bin Laden p. 13

Language R Us: What scholastic jargon disguises — and reveals — about our educational priorities. p. 47

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Volume 25 Number 16

30 x EDITOR’S NOTE How the Placebo Effect can cure what ails downtown Jacksonville. p. 4 MAIL Praise for Kara Pound, “Larry Crowne” and Sarah Palin. p. 5 NEWS A city probe into allegations of racist and profane language confirms a problem, but does little to solve it. p. 7 BUZZ, BOUQUETS & BRICKBATS Trying to get to heaven from Jacksonville, Florida. Plus JTA unveils a name game for its new smart card. p. 8 SPORTSTALK A mindless attack in the Dirty South is a stark reminder of regional impairment. p. 10 ESSAY Hal Crowther on the Triumph of Osama bin Laden. p. 13 OUR PICKS Seven ways from Sunday to have a good time. p. 17 MOVIES Reviews of “Winnie the Pooh” and “Horrible Bosses.” p. 18 Cover photo by Walter Coker

MUSIC The latest compilation by local indie label Skinny Records: Foretold by prophecy? Plus Gainesville’s Snakehealers, and Jessie and the Toy Boys. p. 22 ON THE COVER Painter Megan Cosby merges fashion, texture and feminism into a beautiful mystique. p. 30 ARTS Ella Joyce pays theatrical tribute to Civil Rights activist Rosa Parks in “A Rose Among Thorns.” p. 31 NEWS OF THE WEIRD Why Portland officials believe 7.2 million gallons of water isn’t enough to dilute one teenager’s urine. p. 42 BACKPAGE Language R Us: What scholastic jargon disguises — and reveals — about our educational priorities. p. 47 I ♥ TELEVISION p. 11 HAPPENINGS p. 34 DINING GUIDE p. 36 I SAW U p. 43 FREEWILL ASTROLOGY p. 44 CLASSIFIEDS p. 45

JULY 19-25, 2011 | folio weekly | 3

Faith Healing

No magic potion is needed to remedy downtown Jacksonville. Just a sugar pill.

f you drank a glass of orange juice the last time you had a cold, you have Linus Pauling to thank for it. The late molecular biologist and winner of two Nobel prizes was the first to advocate that large quantities of Vitamin C were useful in fighting off illness. Pauling’s claims, first published in the ’70s, were challenged in later years, and the source of a bitter public battle with Mayo Clinic researchers. But Pauling never backed off his theory that Vitamin C had great curative powers. There’s a footnote to Pauling’s story — never proven, but oft-repeated — that he knew the limits of Vitamin C, but chose to keep

the map of urban vacancies, p. 9) but some are just failures of imagination. As JCCI noted in its 2006 “Attracting and Retaining Talent” study (bit.ly/qkAjHI), the city has a particularly severe case of low self-esteem: “Despite Jacksonville’s assets, the community is more likely to focus on its weaknesses than its strengths. This inferiority complex sends mixed messages to the external world, encouraging the perception that the city has no narrative, no identity, no real brand, and no saleable or marketable icons.” This attitude resembles the flipside of the placebo effect, known as the nocebo effect.

The great thing about the placebo effect is, it’s less about reality than expectations. It is faith, not pharmaceuticals, that has cured ulcers and removed warts. And a similar confidence can cure what ails downtown.

4 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JULY 19-25, 2011

that knowledge to himself, even if it meant sacrificing a bit of his scientific cred. As the legend goes, it was a purely altruistic gesture, designed to let millions of sick people benefit from the placebo effect. If they knew Vitamin C didn’t help, Pauling figured, it wouldn’t. But if they believed it would help, it did. Whether or not the Pauling Conspiracy is real, three things are true: Vitamin C doesn’t cure colds, we continue to drink orange juice and, most of the time, it makes us feel better. The placebo effect goes well beyond the common cold. It’s been found to alleviate everything from migraines to arthritis to irritable bowel syndrome. Placebos can bring relief to people even when they know they’re receiving a placebo. The effect is so strong in some cases, it rivals that of actual medicine. A review of 75 antidepressant trials over two decades found that 59 percent of patients taking placebos showed improvement, compared to 69 percent of patients receiving Zoloft. Whether that speaks to our brain’s malleability or the power of marketing isn’t entirely clear. But the placebo effect has broader applications, including some that may hold promise for downtown Jacksonville. Imagine, if you can, a city to which residents not only flock but move; where they linger in outdoor cafés, lean from apartment balconies, hail cabs and buy fruit at the corner grocer. Some of downtown’s challenges are real and fixed (see

Whereas placebo in Latin means, literally, “I will please”: nocebo means “I will harm.” Sometimes called placebo’s evil twin, the nocebo effect is driven by pessimistic expectations, and produces a worsening of symptoms. In one indelible example, Wired magazine noted, “men taking a commonly prescribed prostate drug who were informed that the medication may cause sexual dysfunction were twice as likely to become impotent.” Clearly, downtown Jacksonville has suffered from the nocebo effect for too long, an urban landscape in which low expectations are met and cynicism reinforced. Transforming that mindset may seem daunting, especially at a time of lean budgets and uncertain economic forecasts. But the great thing about the placebo effect is, it’s less about reality than expectations. It is faith, not pharmaceuticals, that has cured ulcers and removed warts. And a similar confidence can cure what ails downtown. Mayor Alvin Brown ran for office on a promise to revitalize the core city. The folks who helped elect him, many of whom occupy prominent downtown addresses, are just as adamantly in support. And there’s every reason to believe — one might even say every obligation to believe — that this might actually be the start of something. See? We’re feeling better already. Anne Schindler themail@folioweekly.com

Boo Goes the Dynamite

Swim Lessons

Many thanks to Kara Pound and Walter Coker for the cover story (Jim’s Big Swim, June 28). The responses to the article and photographs were overwhelming. One of the most common comments I received about the article was that Folio Weekly presented a positive cover story and that the article was inspiring, leaving the readers feeling good. I am amazed at your craftsmanship, Kara, and how you handled the story with TLC. Submitting parts of my essay was difficult for me and I was admittedly fearful. I was amazed at the treatment and how you challenged the issues, yet still painting the spirit of my story. Many of the readers eho emailed me told me that they were tearing up at the closing of the article and were left feeling inspired to achieve more. Walter! Everyone loved the photos. When I walk into a store and I get sort of recognized with a raised “is that you?” eyebrow, I open my arms like in our photo and I get a thumbsup. I am inspired by artists like you who are so passionate about what they do. The couple hours you spent with me wading waist-high in the swampy water and the smoky haze, camera and lighting in hand! Somehow you captured my personality and passion. Kudos to you, sir. I enjoyed hanging out with you. So Sunday, July 17 is the big day: the solo swim with the crew boat by my side. Neil Armingeon will be piloting the Riverkeeper Kingfisher boat. Following Riverkeeper will be the press boat that will ferry in and out of Fleming Island to bring journalists out to photograph the swim. Neil will speak once the swim is done at Walter Jones Park. I’m anxious, nervous and excited for this moment and my hair is a bit grayer. Jim Alabiso (The 3.5 Mile Swim Across the St. Johns in association with St. Johns Riverkeeper) Jacksonville via email

Art Appreciation

To Kara Pound: Thank you so much for your well-written article about the St. Augustine Sculpture Garden (Arts, June 28). This has been a group effort, and that includes you, for getting the word out. Marianne Lerbs On behalf of the St. Augustine Sculpture Garden Inc.

I grew up in the dark ages. When I was younger, and I went to a movie, there were previews, there could be a newsreel, a cartoon and sometimes two movies. Now going to movies, there are several — no, way too many — bad previews, usually with things blowing up and car chases. Then there are the commercials. I decided to watch “Larry Crowne” (Movies, July 12). I wanted to know why it only got two dots. I’m wondering if actually watching the movie is required when deciding how many dots it gets. Maybe it’s done the same way that TV stations do the weather. Darts are thrown at random numbers. I realize that there were no explosives and no car chases and it was predictable. But Larry didn’t spend time getting drunk and feeling sorry for himself. He worked harder than I ever have to find a job. Then he began to move forward. You should you really should have watched the movie. Do it over and see if you can get right. Lars E. Hansen Jacksonville

Miracle Woman

I just finished reading Sarah Palin’s book, “Going Rogue,” and I’m just amazed at what a wonderful human being she is. I’ve lived through 14 presidents and met three of them personally. I’ve known several celebrities

She is the epitome of our Judeo-Christian values and a carbon copy of one of our greatest presidents, Ronald Reagan. and politicians and I’m sure that anyone who reads this book will agree Sarah is more than qualified to govern our nation. She is the epitome of motherhood and womanhood. She is also a devout Christian and a loyal patriotic American — someone who grew up in a decent, hard-working, middle-class family whose father was a schoolteacher and whose mother worked as a lunchroom lady and later as a school secretary. She is the epitome of our Judeo-Christian values and a carbon copy of one of our greatest presidents, Ronald Reagan. It is about time for all Americans to wake up and recognize that this woman is far and away more than qualified to govern this nation. Norman R. Dunn Sr. Jacksonville

Slick Rick

[Electing] Rick Scott was a mistake that even JULY 19-25, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 5

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Republicans in this state are beginning to recognize. He is out of touch with the legislature, the citizens and the interests of Florida. Aside from his un-indicted co-conspirator position with Columbia-HCA, whose actions devastated many Floridians and other national recipients of Medicare by the multibillion-dollar corporate fraud perpetrated upon us and them, Rick Scott has personally perpetrated another fraud on the electorate — promising to deliver “Jobs for Floridians.” Instead, he has destroyed tens of thousands of jobs, both government and private, and has created unnecessary and costly programs (drug testing for all employees; requiring presentment of birth/residency/ immigration papers, unnecessary and unwanted medical tests) at a time when the state is nearing insolvency. Rather than working to solve the No. 1 reason why corporations don’t move jobs to

Unfortunately for us, Florida has no constitutional or statutory recall ability. We are stuck with this unethical, semi-crooked travesty of a governor until 2014. Florida — concerns about our state’s public schools — Scott chose to slash $1.3 billion from education. This results in as many as 20,000 teachers across Florida being laid off, which does real harm to the economy today and will destroy any economic opportunity for the future. In addition to his self-destructive education and economic policies, he has championed legislation to suppress voter registration, impair voter participation, impede voter election and block voter activism. Gov. Scott’s political direction — of tax reduction for corporations without regard to the economic impact on the budget, and restriction of citizen’s individual rights — proves that the minority who voted for Alex Sink in 2010 were right. He continues wasting taxpayer dollars to inflate his ego and promote himself (including a self-aggrandizing support letter solicitation campaign), while mainstream Floridians are hurting, making both him and the state the laughingstock and butt of latenight comedy shows … Unfortunately for us, Florida has no constitutional or statutory recall ability. We are stuck with this unethical, semi-crooked travesty of a governor until 2014. Richard C. Keene Jacksonville

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Folio Weekly is published every Tuesday throughout Northeast Florida. It contains opinions of contributing writers that are not necessarily the opinion of this publication. Folio Weekly welcomes both editorial and photographic contributions. Calendar information must be received three weeks in advance of event date. Copyright © Folio Publishing, Inc. 2011. All rights reserved. Advertising rates and information are available on request. An advertiser purchases right of publication only. One free copy per person. Additional copies and back issues are $1 each at the office or $4 by mail, based on availability. First Class mail subscriptions are $48 for 13 weeks, $96 for 26 weeks and $189 for 52 weeks. Please recycle Folio Weekly. Folio Weekly is printed on recycled paper using soy-based inks. 44,200 press run • Audited weekly readership 99,402

Horrible Bosses

A city probe into allegations of racist and profane language confirms a problem, but does little to solve it

the report] that Bradley did anything wrong.” (Bradley, after transferring, was subsequently fired from Animal Care and Protective Services for not meeting expectations, according to city spokesperson Ben Pennymon.) Flowe also transferred up the hierarchy into the Environmental and Compliance Department, where she is still employed. Employees contend the punishment was barely a slap on the wrist. “We’re tired of being beat up,” one employee told Folio Weekly. Former City Councilmember Glorious Johnson agrees. It was Johnson whom

Walter Coker

he work atmosphere described by employees of the city of Jacksonville’s Parking Facilities and Enforcement Division reads like a script for the latest Jason Bateman flick. Supervisors subjected workers to a daily barrage of profanities, racist comments and ethnic slurs. According to employees, Parking Supervisor Robert Bradley used the “n” word when referring to African Americans, referred to one black employee as “Buckwheat” and used a vocabulary laced with inappropriate sexual references. When asked about his behavior, during an internal city investigation, Bradley’s immediate supervisor confirmed it, noting he routinely peppered his speech with profanities including, “f-ck, f-cking, sh-t, sh-thead, G-ddamm, b-tch and b-stard.” According to the city investigation, Bradley’s boss, Parking Services Manager Margaret Flowe, did nothing to punish his behavior. Folio Weekly first reported the allegations of Parking Facilities and Enforcement Division employees last year (“Bad Company,” News, Dec. 28, 2010). Those complaints were largely substantiated in a report by the city’s Equal Employment Access specialist Wayne McGovern. But seven months after the investigation began, employees contend the city’s response doesn’t begin to match the gravity of the situation. Although the city required division employees to take additional sensitivity training, Bradley wasn’t punished, only transferred to Animal Care and Protective Services. And his boss, Mayor Peyton’s Deputy Chief Administrative Officer Derek Igou, defends him, saying Bradley left voluntarily, to get away from the accusations. “[He] felt in his heart, and rightfully so, that he was being slandered,” says Igou. McGovern’s report stated that nine of 17 employees attested to hearing Bradley use racial slurs. The report does not say whether Bradley admitted using slurs, but it does say he defended using profanity as a normal part of the “job culture” and “guy conversation” (though the division employs both men and women). Bradley also opines that he didn’t think the profanity was a problem since “no employee has ever asked that the use of profanity be stopped.” For his part, Igou characterized employees’ complaints as “inconsistent,” saying nothing could be “absolutely corroborated” and adding that it appeared employees were “throwing accusations at a wall to see what would stick.” (Folio Weekly was unable to reach Bradley for comment.) Asked if Bradley was disciplined, Igou said that there was no reason to discipline him, because “[there was] nothing founded [in

It was former City Councilmember Glorious Johnson whom employees initially approached with concerns about the hostile work environment. She finds the city’s response anemic at best. employees initially approached with concerns about the hostile work environment, and she finds the city’s response anemic at best. “There should have been no transfer,” says Johnson. “Would they have transferred a minority who was carrying on like that? No.” Johnson says she hopes new Mayor Alvin Brown takes the opportunity to clean house. “I hope the mayor does a thorough investigation of the parking [division] and puts people in there who really want to work for the citizens and the city,” she says. “I think it is a terrible situation when you have people treating other people as horribly as they did.” Susan Cooper Eastman sceastman@folioweekly.com JULY 19-25, 2011 | folio weekly | 7

The Road Less Traveled “How To Get To Heaven From Jacksonville, Florida” — Name of the first full-length release by Gospel Music, the latest endeavor by Jacksonville musician Owen Holmes, Black Kids bassist and occasional Folio Weekly contributor. As Holmes told Folio Weekly last year, the title is also “the name of a First Baptist Church-produced religious tract I may or may not have handed out in my bewildered youth.” Holmes will unveil his new material when opens for John “the nicest guy in indie rock” Vanderslice at Café Eleven on Sept. 3 in St. Augustine.

Cash Advance $431,356 — Amount the political action committee Conservatives for a Better Jacksonville gave the Democratic Party of Florida during the recent election, which the party primarily spent electing Democratic Mayor Alvin Brown. The PAC was founded by Peter Rummell, a Republican money man and former Bush Pioneer, who broke with the GOP to support Brown. Rummell personally donated $150,000 to the PAC, and his Rummell Company donated another $20,000.

So Sorry “The Record apologizes for a front page story published Saturday, ‘Deputies called out for screams and gunshots.’ ” — From a front page “Apology” published in the St. Augustine Record. The piece went on to note that the “essential facts” of the story, including that police stormed a home with pistols drawn, came from a local dinner theater owner, not police reports, and were, well, mostly wrong.

Name That Card! The Jacksonville Transportation Authority will launch a new card-swipe system to collect bus fares next year, and is looking to city residents to name the smart card. Submit your suggestion to names@jtafla.com or on Facebook by 5 p.m. on Friday, July 22. If JTA chooses your name, you’ll receive the system’s first smart card loaded with trips.

Angle of Repose Mayo Clinic Florida is turning down the covers for Northeast Florida’s sleepwalkers, sleeptalkers, restless-leg syndrome sufferers and tortured insomniacs. Last week, the clinic opened a new free-standing, 10,000-square-foot, $3.8-million sleep disorder center on its Jacksonville campus. Mayo Clinic already treats some 1,000 patients with sleep disorders in Northeast Florida, and aims to treat many more through the new facility.

Fort Mose, St. Augustine, June 25

Green Acres “There’s nothing wrong with these trees whatsoever.” — Arborist Gene Bushor, commenting on First Coast News about the 75 Bradford pear and crepe myrtle trees the city of Jacksonville removed from Hendricks Avenue last week. Despite the trees’ green leafy growth, a city arborist deemed the trees “unhealthy,” saying the plastic guards installed around their bases were never removed as needed, and that the trees were damaged by lawnmowers maintaining the median. The tree removal and replacement project will cost $165,000.

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Bouquets to Renay Daigle of Principle Creative for conceiving a fundraiser for breast cancer services that highlights the healing web of friendship. Daigle, who is a cancer survivor herself, has created the website ItTakes2Jax.com, a place where friends can make a donation in the name of a friend to the Bosom Buddies Program of The Women’s Center of Jacksonville. The program provides support services to breast cancer survivors and patients. Donors and their besties will be listed in a special section of The Florida Times-Union on Sunday, Aug. 7. Brickbats to AAA Tree Service employees Randall Robbins, Randy Simoneau and Joseph Norris for breaking environmental laws for economic gain. The three men were caught by Clay County’s Environmental Crimes Unit dumping land-clearing debris (trees, stumps, brush) from job sites onto victims’ private property at various locations in order to avoid local dumping fees. Bouquets to Chris Roman of Jacksonville for an impressive display of mental toughness and physical stamina. Roman, a 41-year-old radiologist, competed last week in the Badwater Ultramarathon, a grueling 135-mile trek from Death Valley (85 meters below sea level) to Mt. Whitney, Calif. (about 8,300 meters above sea level). Roman, who finished 16th in the 94-person field, completed the race in 32 hours, 27 minutes, 19 seconds.

NewsBuzz

Pretty Vacant “Surface parking deadens a downtown.” — From a metrojacksonville.com article about the surfeit of parking lots and vacant properties in downtown Jacksonville — so-called “dead space,” which Downtown Vision Inc. estimates consumes 50 percent of the city’s streetscape. The above map is featured at http://bit.ly/oxa2rm alongside similarly color-coded photos of other urban areas.

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Clean Living, Hard Body

That’s a Paddling!

“I don’t drink or smoke and I’ve never done drugs.” — Shari Riepe, the Nassau County 44-year-old mother of four who recently placed third in the Ms. Fitness Universe competition in Miami. She competes again in the Ancient City Classic on July 23 at Pedro Menendez High School in St. Augustine.

The Public Trust has publishedFor questions, please call your advertising representative at paddling guides to the Timucuan FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 Trail Waterway and the Jacksonville Intracoastal Salt promise of benefit sUpport Ask for Action Marsh. Download them for free at timucuantrailwaterwayguide.org and jaxintracoastalpaddling.org.

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Sportstalk Dawg Pound

A mindless attack in the Dirty South is a stark reminder of regional impairment

10 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JULY 19-25, 2011

eriodically, we have moments in Northeast Florida that remind us that there are too many jackasses in our midst. Nothing new here; longtime residents may remember that there was a time, around a quarter-century back, when so-called reasonable people argued in favor of dwarf-tossing at bars — legal until the mid-1980s. Before that, of course, our region’s resistance to school integration was as diehard as almost anywhere besides Forsyth County, Ga. and South Boston. Times have changed, yes. But our region’s Emma Lazarus poem would read more like “Bring us your jiveasses, your malcontents, your misanthropes and semi-literates. Plenty of room for ’em here in Dirty Duval. Would they be interested in buying a split-level built over a landfill? If they are, we can hook them up.” Yes, ours is the home of the road-rager, the impatient customer, the bad tipper. You recognize them: They look like they’ve been screwed over, ripped off, disenfranchised and compelled to take leave of their rational faculties. Their double-chins quiver, their forehead veins bulge. They’d ask for a refund, but there can be no recompense for a wasted life. I was reminded of this most recently when news came across the interwebs — a most unbelievable and regrettable, yet quintessentially Dooo-val event. The scene: a local Publix. The two actors: an innocent bagger and a couple of customers. The bagger made a fateful error; he dared to compliment the Georgia Bulldogs T-shirt worn by one of them. In an ideal situation, the Bulldog fan would’ve said “thanks,” and that would’ve been that. In this case, however, things didn’t go down quite so well. According to a police report, employee James Wall, 26, was retrieving a shopping cart from the parking lot on Duval Station Road around five in the afternoon when he exchanged words with Ryan Keys, 27, and Cade Keys, 23. Wall had four words — “I like your shirt.” The older Keys, who reportedly weighed in at a svelte 275 pounds, had anywhere from three to eight punches for the bagger in response. Wall had a few teeth knocked out as a result. Here’s hoping Publix’s dental insurance isn’t as much as a joke as most of the insurances I’ve had, because Mr. Wall is going to need all the help he can get. Dental implants? About $3K per. We can hope that Wall can get some extra shifts. Two of his teeth were retrieved from the parking lot. The others? Probably knocked down the back of his throat. Of course, this incident in no way reflects on the University of Georgia. It does, however, reflect on the old-school cracker mentality hereabouts, where the most passionate college football fans often didn’t even go to the schools for which they cheer. Many of those fans don’t cotton to book learnin’, period. They just cheer for the color scheme, like little kids being conditioned into the puerile quasi-mythology of team loyalty. Yay, Blue! or

Woo-hoo, Orange! Or, in this case, WheeDoggie, Red! Much of the reportage on this case focuses on the intellectual discrepancy between the victim and his assailant (and said assailant’s

This incident reflects the old-school cracker mentality hereabouts, where the most passionate college football fans very often didn’t even attend the schools for which they cheer. Many of those fans don’t cotton to book learnin’, period. They just cheer for the color scheme. brother, who certainly would’ve jumped in if needed, which wasn’t because his A-hole older brother picked his spots so well). Wall faces mental challenges that most of us should count themselves fortunate not to have. We are led to assume that the Keys boys are “normal.” Yeah, sure. Add both of their IQs together, and they might make Mensa. Might. People of any real intelligence don’t get drunk, go to Publix and look for an easy target to beat up for no reason except that he’s there. And while the U.S. foreign policy that so often mirrors that mindset may sound like good ideas to some twisted fools, normal folks know otherwise. This crime has gotten global attention because it shocks the conscience; our friends at Deadspin.com, in linking to an account of the incident, called for this entire region to be nuked. Wrongheaded solution: Our region doesn’t need to be nuked. It does a damned fine job destroying itself.  AG Gancarski themail@folioweekly.com

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Terrorists? Prepare to get Terrorized!

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K, first of all, I just want everybody to know that I’m still not mad that Seal Team 6 got to Osama bin Laden before I did. That happened nearly three months ago, and I’m totally over it … not that I was mad about it in the first place. Sure, I did have a super-cunning plan to take down bin Laden — one I’d been working on 24/7 for the past four years, which was far more clever than a bunch of badasses kicking down a door and dogpiling on top of him — but, hey… whatever works, right? The important thing is that Osama bin Laden is out of our hair, and it makes no difference whatsoever whether it was some frat boys with a plan as subtle as a sledgehammer pounding a pack of cheese’n’crackers, or my infinitely more amazing scheme that was so detailed and profoundly artful, it would’ve made Al Qaeda stand up and give me the 1980s movie cafeteria “slow clap.” What was my ingenious plan? GLAD YOU ASKED. First, my strategy depended on finding bin Laden — which I misjudged slightly. While he was actually in an Abbottabad, Pakistan, compound, I had

What’s the one thing, besides internet porn, that everyone loves? Correct! Hostess snack cakes. him pegged in a San Antonio, Texas, retirement home, under the fake name Harold Morgenstern. (I’ve apologized for any mental anguish I may have caused Mr. Morgenstern prior to his death.) REGARDLESS! My plan would’ve worked brilliantly because it hinged on one question: What’s the one thing, besides internet porn, that everyone loves? Correct! Hostess snack cakes. First, I disguise myself as a beee-yootiful woman. (Fortunately, I have a closetful of appropriate wigs, shoes, dresses and lingerie.) I rent a U-Haul truck and paint the Hostess snack company logo on the side. Affixing a huge loudspeaker on top, I drive past bin Laden’s place broadcasting, “Getcher free Ho Hos! Getcher free Suzy Qs! Getcher free Ding Dongs!” as “Turkey in the Straw” plays in the background. Unable to resist such temptation, bin Laden comes scrambling out of his retirement home (compound, whatever), and when he reaches the truck … KABLOOIE!! I explode a 13-megaton nuclear bomb, obliterating every living molecule within a 30mile radius. Bye-bye, bin Laden! I’m not saying my plan was flawless — Americans get upset when a case of Ding Dongs is nuked — I’m just saying maybe next time Seal Team 6 wants to try a political assassination? Consult the experts first. Speaking of anti-terrorism experts, don’t miss the heeee-larious new “24” parody debuting Thursday at 12:15 a.m. on Adult Swim, “NTSF: SD: SUV” (which of course stands for National Terrorism Strike Force: San Diego: Sport Utility Vehicle). Starring the never-not-funny Paul Scheer, with Brandon

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Johnson, Kate Mulgrew, Rebecca Romijn and A GODDAMN ROBOT (yesss), it’s about a team of high-strung crimefighters keeping San Diego safe from a slew of San Diego-hating terrorists. It’s exciting, funny as poop and lasts only 15 minutes, which won’t cut into your terroristkilling time. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a 13-megaton nuclear bomb to detonate. And some lingerie to launder. Wm ™ Steven Humphrey steve@portlandmercury.com

TUESDAY, JULY 19 8:00 NBC IT’S WORTH WHAT? Debut! Cedric the Entertainer hosts this Price is Right update (that doesn’t really require an update). 11:00 MTV AWKWARD Debut! One tiny unfortunate accident leads to a clustereff of epic proportions for a nerdy teen.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 20 9:00 TLC I DIDN’T KNOW I WAS PREGNANT A woman is surprised when her “burrito baby” turns out to be a “baby baby.” 10:00 FX RESCUE ME Tommy hits the roof when a 9/11 documentary features his dead cousin Jimmy. (It’s gauche to be jealous of the dead, btw.)

THURSDAY, JULY 21 10:00 FX WILFRED Wilfred (an imaginary talking dog) figures out a new way to mentally torture Ryan. 10:30 FX LOUIE Louie takes his daughters — did I mention they’re monsters? — on a road trip.

FRIDAY, JULY 22 12:15 am TOON NTSF:SD:SUV Debut! A terrorism strike force investigates deaths linked to alcohol energy drinks/terrorism. 7:00 TOON LEGOS STARWARS I’m telling ya! If we let the Legos take our jobs, next it’ll be the Lincoln Logs!

SATURDAY, JULY 23 8:00 BBCA BATTLESTAR GALACTICA In this exciting BSG repeat, Starbuck plans a daring raid on the Cylons. Don’t forget the Ho-Ho’s!

SUNDAY, JULY 24

10:00 AMC BREAKING BAD Back under the thumb of the homicidal Gus, Walt looks for new ways to distribute his sweetass meth. 10:30 HBO ENTOURAGE Season premiere! It’s their final season, which affords you one last chance to “bro out” like a douchebag.

MONDAY, JULY 25 8:00 ABC THE BACHELORETTE Ashley and the three final bachelors travel to Fiji. (Note to Fiji: Drain and clean your hot tubs EVERY DAY.) 10:00 SYFY ALPHAS Check out this show about a gang of ordinary people with extraordinary powers and deep psychological issues. JULY 19-25, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 11

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The Triumph of Osama bin Laden

From first-person shooters to Snooki’s revenge, America’s decline is everything a terrorist could hope for

he greatest mistake any observer can make, in these sad times, is to declare that popular culture can sink no further, that the worst and lowest have been achieved and nothing more vile or mortifying could possibly lie beneath. I wrote an essay on the death of American culture in 1993, late published in the Washington Post, expressing alarm at the rapid erosion of taste, intelligence and common decency. The depths I surveyed sound like a Golden Age compared to what we take for granted today; examples of subhuman vulgarity I presented then would sound stuffy and highbrow to young Americans who’ve grown up since. Apparently there’s no floor, no safety net once the cultural plunge accelerates. Though I’m still capable of being stunned. The headline that froze me was “Kill bin Laden Yourself: First Video Game Rushed to Market.” The new game, as realistic as they could make it working from conflicting early versions of bin

four months before its release. (13 million “Gears of War” games have been sold, mostly to Americans.) But Kuma’s new game wasn’t based on a comic book or a science-fiction novel. It wasn’t about an animated superhero and his robotic victims. Osama bin Laden was an unarmed man murdered in cold blood in front of his wives and children — dispatched with a mortal head wound and dumped into the Indian Ocean only hours before Kuma’s game designers went to work. That he was also a terrorist, a mass murderer and the nominal leader of the most dangerous fraternity of committed killers on the planet is not irrelevant, certainly not for the men who killed him or the president who gave the order. No doubt their consciences are clear, and should be. Only a hypocrite, after mocking the previous president for botching it, would disparage Barack Obama for the way he got this dirty job done. Only an idiot would stoop to

Virtually eliminated from America’s current cultural conversation is the critical distinction between “wrong” or “immoral” and adjectives like “gross,” “vulgar” and the ever-useful “tacky.” Laden’s death, was available to gamers within 10 days of his assassination. Kuma Games Inc. marketed its latest product as “KumaWar Episode 107: Osama 2011.” Each player is a Navy SEAL, armed to the teeth and equipped with night vision, creeping up those stairs in Abbotabad with murder on his mind. “People feel relieved that Osama’s gone,” explained Keith Halper, CEO of Kuma Games. “To be able to recreate his death is just an added bonus.” An added bonus it is, an unexpected windfall for every surviving enemy of the United States. The psych-ward violence of most video games is a given, a vicious commercial manipulation of immature minds that psychologists and pediatricians used to rail against, until it became such a thriving racket that further resistance seemed pointless. Under the disturbing headline “’Gears of War 3’ Inspires Frenzy,” today’s business page announced that pre-orders for the latest edition in Epic’s “Gears” series had passed a million,

celebrate it. Commando counterterrorism and assassination as foreign policy are 21st-century refinements that depress me. Yet bin Laden was a special case, if we’ve ever seen one. His life was forfeit at sundown on Sept. 11, 2001, as he very well knew. Moral and strategic defenses of the White House death squad extend no cover at all for the game-makers or their customers. “KumaWar Episode 107” is hardly the final straw — in some video game of the unspeakable future, each player will be a pedophile priest turned loose in an orphanage — but it might be the final nail in the coffin of American “exceptionalism,” our quasi-religious belief that we are better than the rest. It was painful enough to see infantile Americans celebrate a murder like a basketball victory, climbing lampposts, waving flags and chanting “USA!” “USA!” It was sad to hear voices crying “Show us the corpse!” not for proof of the kill, but for the pleasure of it. But when disgraced

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JULY 19-25, 2011 | folio weekly | 13

inquisitors from the Bush Administration lined up to take credit, claiming that intelligence from the prisoners they tortured led the SEALs to bin Laden — this was a time to lower the Stars and Stripes to half-staff. Did anyone consider how every tasteless excess, every display of ghoulish gloating would have warmed the heart of Osama bin Laden? It wasn’t just American foreign policy in the Middle East that provoked this strange Arab’s crimes and passions. He despised the United States as an exporter of cultural toxins, as a degraded state where civilization crawled off to die. Not all Americans lived down to Osama’s expectations. Barack Obama — an exceptionally civilized president, in spite of being a native-born American — needed no advisors to tell him that “spiking the football,” as he phrased it, was the most gauche and counterproductive thing he could do. The appropriate solemnity Obama assumed for the media enhanced his gravitas, and perhaps his re-election prospects, at a moment of national confusion. A professional football player, Rashard Mendenhall of the Pittsburgh Steelers, asked America on his Twitter page, “What kind of person celebrates death?” and added, for the gloaters, “I ask how God would feel about your heart?” For these mild, humane sentiments, Mendenhall was rebuked by his employers and pressured to issue a retraction. Another witness worth hearing was Donald Fitzgibbon of Knoxville, Tenn., whose 19-year-old son was killed by a land mine in Afghanistan two years ago. He resisted the impulse to rejoice at bin Laden’s death, Fitzgibbon told The New York

of a public execution,” wrote Ms. Pugh. “This mindless merriment, based on hatred, fear and foolish indifference to the rage it inspires outside the United States, echoes the mindless viciousness of terrorists. If we become them, what “way of life” will we have left to protect?” Amen to that. Virtually eliminated from America’s current cultural conversation is the critical distinction between “wrong” or “immoral” and adjectives like “gross,” “vulgar” and the ever-useful “tacky.” Aesthetic judgments have been relegated to the scorned and endangered intelligentsia, and in the absence of aesthetic consideration, grace in all its forms is vanishing from public life. Donald Trump honestly doesn’t realize that he’s coarse and ridiculous. He thinks his head should be carved onto Mt. Rushmore, comb-over topiary and all. He thinks he should be a video game, and chances are he is. One of the celebrities most outraged by the Osama-slaying festival was filmmaker Michael Moore, who told a CNN interviewer, “We’ve just lost something of our soul here in this country.” “We stand for something different,” he continued, insisting bin Laden should have been brought to trial. “We’re better than that.” Moore, detested by the Right and sometimes dismissed as heavy-handed by other liberals, is nevertheless one of the few consistent populists and anti-corporate crusaders who can count on an audience. The extreme hostility he inspires is a kind of distinction, considering his enemies, and I’ve always thought his weight and slovenly appearance put off shallow people more than his ideas. Unpopularity doesn’t faze him, either.

Justice was well-served by bin Laden’s death, but it was no victory. If your enemy says you’re evil and bloodthirsty and you shoot him, you’re the survivor, not the winner.

14 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JULY 19-25, 2011

Times, because “it makes me no better than him.” “An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth?” he reflected. “It doesn’t always work that way.” Are we a minority in this country, those of us who see a bloodthirsty crowd reveling in homicide and feel as if we’re in a zombie or a body-snatcher movie? There were sane voices like Fitzgibbon’s to console us, but I found more of them among Letters to the Editor than on the op ed page where the pundits and experts parade. In the Times, the (mildly) conservative columnist David Brooks took the trouble to humanize the late bin Laden, reminding us that he was a lonely mama’s boy whose mother was sent away, and that his distant, powerful father died when Osama was nine, long before he took up piety and terrorism. The liberal Maureen Dowd, rarely encountered at any great depth, essentially granted us permission to celebrate, to relax and enjoy because revenge is nourishing. The moral psychologist Jonathan Haidt contributed a puzzling essay, “Why We Celebrate a Killing,” that makes an unconvincing distinction between patriotism and nationalism. Times editors could have saved themselves a lot of trouble and column inches by replacing all of this with a brief letter published in the paper May 3, from Candida Pugh of Evanston, Ill. “Press photos of Americans drunk with glee over the killing of Osama bin Laden recall images from long ago of parents hoisting children onto their shoulders for a clearer view

On this occasion, he came across as a genuinely offended patriot, and he said one more thing about bin Laden that went straight to the heart of the matter: “He may be dead, but in a way he won.” Another superfluous thing that appeared in the Times was an apology for the celebrations from a psychologist who carelessly described the assassination as “defeating an enemy.” Was bin Laden defeated, or was he only killed? Was Gandhi defeated? Were Lincoln, John Brown, Martin Luther King? Jan Hus, Joan of Arc? Was Jesus Christ? They were only killed — executed or assassinated, but hardly defeated. Losing your life is very different from losing the battle to which your life was devoted. It may be decades before the long-term success of the Islamic jihadists can be evaluated, but Osama bin Laden must have died very pleased with what he had achieved. On Sept. 11, 2001, he wounded this great power, the Great Satan as he saw it, more grievously than any criminal or many hostile armies had ever succeeded in wounding us — and he did it with a ragged band of fanatics who couldn’t have robbed most 7-11s. He drew us into two hopeless, ill-conceived wars that have crippled the United States economically, strategically and spiritually, and from which our international prestige and military reputation may never recover. He made a superpower look silly for a decade, as it overturned governments and ransacked nations trying to catch one

Essay mysterious terrorist who was always a step ahead. He provoked us into international torture networks, into Abu Ghraib and countless violations of the human rights of Muslims who were guilty or innocent of terrorist connections. He demonstrated that we were no better than he said we were, no stronger, no cleaner. Osama bin Laden hurt America more than a century’s worth of foreign adversaries who came before him. This

a makeover. In this Global Village where cultural artifacts are now visible to nearly everyone, the coarsening of America dismays its allies and delights its enemies. Donald Trump and Newt Gingrich are not the worst things we broadcast. Kuma’s new game wasn’t even the most jaw-dropping, brain-dissolving overdose of popular culture I suffered recently. In a rare tour of the TV dial, looking for a horse race, I stumbled across a rerun of

If you wanted to torture a man like bin Laden, subjecting him to “Jersey Shore” would make waterboarding feel like a game of canasta. tall, self-righteous, gentle-looking murderer was simply the most effective enemy the United States ever made. In essence, he won every round except the final round, the one where he might have died peacefully in bed at 80 with his trophies hung around him. But remember that 9/11 was a suicide mission, fatal to nearly all its conspirators, and the suicide in Osama’s case was only delayed because his movement needed him. He never expected to live nearly this long, nor to die of natural causes. Justice was well-served by this ugly death, but it was no victory. If your enemy says you’re evil and bloodthirsty and you shoot him, you’re the survivor, not the winner. History is more complicated than combat — when all is written, you didn’t defeat your enemy by eliminating him, but by proving that he was wrong. And in case you think I give this devil more than his due, or betray sympathy for the devil, you couldn’t be more mistaken. An old friend from college worked on one of the floors where the hijacked jet actually struck the first Trade Tower. He was one of 9/11’s first victims, a loss that entitles me to view bin Laden’s death as personal revenge. Yet even in death, as Michael Moore noted, Osama scored a last coup. While Americans whooped and chanted and rushed “You Kill Osama” video games to market, it was not only Muslims and anti-Americans who turned away in horror and disgust, but civilized people on every continent. It was dreadful timing. America’s image has never been in more desperate need of

the hit reality show “Jersey Shore.” I stared, dumbfounded, for at least three minutes, then clicked off the remote and sat in silence. I’ve lived in the United States for all but four or five years of my life, yet suddenly I was this is a copyright protected pro wondering where there might be a quiet green e country that would grant me asylum. As a cultural critic, I thought,For whatquestions, would Osama please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn dAte: 071911 do? Innocents would die if we carpet-bombed FAXtheYOUR the Jersey shore — possibly solutionPROOF would IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 be drone missiles to destroy these creatures Produced by ab Checked by Sale promise of benefit sUpport Ask for Action in their lair, with minimal collateral damage. But how could we eliminate, or sterilize, the people who make up their audience? I’ve been known to exaggerate to make a point. I wish, in this case, I were exaggerating more. There is no safe return from some of this “reality,” no adequate response, no adjective in my arsenal half strong enough to convey what I feel. I thought again of Osama bin Laden — he was a shy man, they say, and such a devout Muslim that he lowered his eyes when an unveiled woman entered the room. If you wanted to torture a man like bin Laden, subjecting him to “Jersey Shore” would make waterboarding feel like a game of canasta. If you believe in hell and assume that he suffers eternal torment for his crimes, you can imagine that an even Greater Satan has chained him in front of a 42-inch screen where Snooki flickers forever. Or has he gone to a better place and left us here in this one, helpless to break our free fall into cultural incoherence?

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Reasons to leave the house this week COMEDY CHAMELEONS BROKEN LIZARD

After forming at New York’s Colgate University in 1990, the five-man team of Broken Lizard has given comedy fans an education on lowbrow laughs and raunchy fun in cult fave films like 2001’s “Super Troopers,” “Club Dread” (’04) and the hopped-up humor of ’06’s “Beerfest.” Troupe members Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan bring their signature mayhem to The Comedy Zone on Thursday, July 21 at 8 p.m., Friday, July 22 and Saturday, July 23 at 8 p.m. and 10 p.m. to 3130 Hartley Road, Jacksonville. Tickets range from $18-$25. 292-4242.

HAVE A BALL! SUNS VS. BRAVES

Sports fans have five chances to root for our home team when the Jacksonville Suns take on the Mississippi Braves on Wednesday, July 20 at 7:05 p.m. (Military Night), Thursday, July 21 at 7:05 p.m. (Thursday Night Throwdown!), Friday, July 22 at 7:05 p.m. (Family Fireworks), Saturday, July 23 (Roger Maris Plaque Giveaway) and on Sunday, July 24 at 3:05 p.m. (Kids get to run the bases!) at the Baseball Grounds, 301 Randolph Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $7.50-$22.50. 358-2846.

BRITNEY SPEARS

COUNTRY TOBY KEITH

In the weird, wooly world of 21st-century media overload, we can’t necessarily blame Toby Keith for being known more for his outspoken political views than releasing nearly 20 No. 1 hit singles, winning scads of awards and even getting props from fellow celebs ranging from Stephen Colbert to Ted Nugent. Toby Keith performs with Aaron Lewis on Thursday, July 21 at 7 p.m. at the St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340C A1A S., St Augustine Beach. Tickets are $62 and $87. 209-0367.

ART OF FAMILY BEVERLY FINSTER-GUINN

The Museum of Contemporary Art presents “Film and Family: An Intimate Evening for Howard Finster with Beverly Finster-Guinn” on Thursday, July 21 at 7 p.m. in the museum’s MOCA Theater, 333 N. Laura St., Jacksonville. In celebration of the exhibit, “Stranger in Paradise: The Works of Reverend Howard Finster,” the daughter of this legendary outsider artist makes a oneof-a-kind-appearance to discuss her father’s life, work and legacy. A screening of the film “The Sacred Vision of Howard Finster” follows Finster-Guinn’s talk. Grandpa’s Cough Medicine performs at 6:30 p.m. Admission is free. 366-6911.

It’s been a rocky road from the Mickey Mouse Club to sucking face with Madonna, but Britney Spears has somehow survived fame, family troubles and even herself. While Folio Weekly doesn’t necessarily agree with Rolling Stone’s blustery claim that the 29-year-old diva is “pop music’s stealth avant-gardist,” we can get behind the fact that she’s turned growing up in public into a weird art form. And since she’s sold nearly 70 million albums to a rabidly loyal following, we gotta give the gal props. Britney Spears performs along with Jessie and the Toy Boys (see our story on p. 22) on Saturday, July 23 at 8 p.m. at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $28.50-$349. 630-3900.

FILM THE LAST WALTZ

After spending time as Bob Dylan’s backup group, the Woodstock, N.Y.-based quintet The Band issued 1968’s “Music from Big Pink,” an enigmatic album that influenced artists like Eric Clapton and Van Morrison, while arguably creating the template for bands like Wilco, Band of Horses and the Americana scene. When the band played its final concert on Thanksgiving Day in 1976, fan and director Martin Scorsese had the cameras rolling, capturing the musicians performing with Joni Mitchell, Neil Young, Emmylou Harris and Neil Diamond, as well as documenting revealing and hilarious offstage interviews. The Florida Theatre screens Scorsese’s 1978 masterpiece, “The Last Waltz,” on Sunday, July 24 at 2 p.m. at 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. Tickets are $7.50. 355-2787.

REGGAE STEPHEN MARLEY

Five-time Grammy-winning artist Stephen Marley has honored his family’s tradition of delivering potent reggae while blending into the natural-born diversity of today’s music, collaborating with peeps like Michael Franti, agitprop rappers Dead Prez, Snoop Dogg and Slightly Stoopid. Marley performs on Thursday, July 21 at 8 p.m. at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Advance tickets are $21. 246-2473.

JULY 19-25, 2011 | folio weekly | 17

Charlie Day, Jason Sudekis and Jason Bateman consider the possibilities for Murder Your Supervisor Day in the killer comedy “Horrible Bosses.”

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When it comes to raunchy laughs, “Horrible Bosses” delivers some real firing power proof

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Thursday, July 21, Lecture Film and Family: An Intimate Evening for Howard Finster 7 p.m. MOCA Theater Get a personal understanding of Howard Finster – as a man, artist, and father – from his daughter, Beverly. In a oneof-a-kind public appearance to discuss her father’s work, Ms. Finster highlights personal, private anecdotes through rarely seen family photos. A screening of “The Sacred Vision of Howard Finster,” a film by the American Folk Art Museum, follows. It features the artist talking about his art, visions, and religious beliefs, with scenes of his creations, his preaching and his home. - Alt Bluegrass Band -

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ontradictory as it might sound, I make it a habit not to read movie reviews — at least of those films I’m going to review myself. And 2011 while this practice is an effort to approach films without bias, occasionally it can be a mistake. “Horrible Bosses” is a case in point. My oldest daughter just turned 18, which finally made her eligible to see those R-rated movies I’ve refused to take her to (which she would inevitably watch later at friends’ homes). So what a nice treat (I thought in my naïveté) to take her with me to watch this new comedy. Well, she couldn’t go (preferring to hang out with her friends), so I went by myself. Thank God! Though I laughed myself silly throughout the film, I would have been profoundly uncomfortable watching it with my child at my side. In the tradition of the first “American Pie,” “There’s Something About Mary,” “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” and “The Hangover” (each of which raised the bar in terms of cinematic raunchiness), “Horrible Bosses” pushes the envelope even further. Absolutely outrageous, particularly in terms of language, the movie is also completely hilarious, witty instead of inane. The creative team behind the film (the writers, the director and the three male stars) all made their debuts in television, and in terms of plot and characterization “Horrible Bosses” plays like an extended segment of “Seinfeld,” “Arrested Development” and “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.” At their best, each of those TV shows delivers brilliant comedy. Three good friends suffer the same fate — diabolical bosses who make their employees’ lives a living hell. Nick Hendricks (Jason Bateman) works for Dave Harken (Kevin Spacey), a guy whose corporate viciousness and cruelty are matched only by his unmitigated jealousy of his leggy wife. Dale Arbus (Charlie Day) is a dental hygienist whose boss (Jennifer Aniston) subjects poor Dale to nearly constant sexual harassment, even threatening to destroy his engagement if he does not satisfy her every perverted whim. As

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for Kurt Buckman (Jason Sudekis), his employer (Colin Farrell) is a thoroughly wasted cokehead who is driving the family business into ruin. With no other viable options, the oppressed trio eventually resorts to thoughts of murder. Enlisting the aid of “M-F” Jones (a riotous Jamie Foxx) whom they meet at a seedy bar, the inept friends soon find themselves in one mess after another as their cockeyed plans go more and more askew, leaving scarcely any sexual taboo or deviance unreferenced. It’s all utter nonsense and truly inspired comedy at the same time. “Horrible Bosses” could easily have fallen into the gross-out imitative mode embraced by the clones of the Farrelly Brothers and, more recently, Judd Apatow. Instead, the new movie sets a comic mold of its own which will undoubtedly spawn a rash of imitations in production offices over the next few months. The script is both crude and razor-sharp with dialogue that delivers laughs and shocks in tandem. Director Seth Gordon wisely lets the verbal jokes take precedence over the visuals, his camera focusing on the reactions and facial expressions of our witless heroes and their unscrupulous adversaries. Each of the three principal actors (Bateman, Day and Sudekis), though lesser known than their villainous counterparts, delivers a star-making performance, much like Zach Galifianakis in “The Hangover.” Their onscreen antagonists (Spacey, Aniston and Farrell), already major stars, seem to relish the opportunity to let loose and play such atypical and unsavory characters. Jennifer Aniston, in particular, winds up with her best performance (and her best role) since “The Good Girl” back in 2002. Like Tom Cruise in Ben Stiller’s hilarious “Tropic Thunder,” Colin Farrell disappears behind the makeup to re-emerge as a hateful worm. Kevin Spacey, on the other hand, thrusts his spitefulness to the forefront as a corporate bully, a veritable Lex Luthor in a threepiece suit. And be sure to stick around for the outtakes and the credits, where all of the above deliver some added jokes. So while “Horrible Bosses” is not for the thin-skinned or easily offended, moviegoers seeking some serious adult humor should check out this hilarious addition to the film genre of flat-out, filthy fun.  Pat McLeod themail@folioweekly.com

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h, pooh! Turns out that this latest adaptation of “Winnie the Pooh” is just more of the same old crap we’ve been feeding our kids these days: Gratuitous destruction of the English language. Partial ursine nudity. “Hunny” abuse. And new revulsions, too: The glamorization of obesity. The romanticization of overeating. Horrors! How can we expect our children to navigate the treacherous cultural waters we’ve created for them when we do nothing but make the terrors of the world look this alluring and exciting and yellow and, you know, cartoon-adorable? Won’t someone think of the children? This is why we can’t have nice things: Disney movies about rapacious pooh bears who will stoop to disgusting lows to get their honey fixes. And the language! “My tummy is feeling a little 11 o’clockish,” says our “pooh”-tagonist (the voice of Jim Cummings) in one shocking moment. “Oh, bother,” he exclaims in another. Cover the kiddies’ ears! Of course, Winnie the Pooh’s world is falling apart. Christopher Robin (the voice of Jack Boulter), the boy-king of Hundred Acre Wood and Pooh’s beloved leader, has been snatched by a fearsome creature known only as the “Backson”: no one knows what the Backson is, but it surely must be terrifying. Christopher Robin himself ID’d the villain in a note he left for Pooh: It looks like it reads that C.R. will be “back soon,” but what do we know? We thought “hunny” was spelled h-o-n-e-y. And that’s bothering Pooh, too: He’s craving his sweet, sweet bee juice, and there’s none to be found. Anywhere. Apparently his dealer’s skipped town.

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But wait! Maybe I’m wrong about the filmmakers trying to lead children down a sticky path to self-destruction. Contained in this otherwise innocuous little movie is a jarringly incongruous CGI-animated sequence in which Pooh, now getting the hunny-withdrawal shakes, experiences what could only be called a sweat-drenched jonesing nightmare about being nearly drowned in oceans of the stuff. The sequence is radically different from the hand-drawn animation of the rest of the film, which, like the 1977 Disney flick, was inspired by E.H. Shepard’s illustrations of the original A.A. Milne books. I can only imagine that both the content of this narrative diversion and its presentation were designed to terrify children from abusing sweets and mystify their parents, who might fondly remember that ’70s original. Which, incidentally, did not feature CGI jonesing hunny-withdrawal nightmares. This is the sort of stuff that it takes nine credited writers — not counting Mr. Milne himself — to come up with. They must have worn themselves out on developing that one bit, because they certainly didn’t create any additional story to stretch the movie out to feature length. Fortunately, Disney has seen fit to pad out the moviegoing experience, so that irate parents don’t demand to know where the rest of the movie is that they paid 10 bucks for (plus six for each of the kids) once “Winnie the Pooh” craps out at the 60-minute mark. To be fair, there’s also a strange little short, “The Ballad of Nessie,” about a monster who looks like Pete’s dragon and teaches children that it’s OK to cry — which of course it is — and lives in a strange place called Scotland where the rolling hills aren’t green but tartan plaid. The biology of that must be extraordinary. Perhaps James Cameron will visit that alien planet in his next movie. And take this lightweight flick with him. 

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Animal Collective: John Cleese narrates Disney’s new version of A.A. Milne’s children’s classic story of all the woodlands friends in “Winnie the Pooh.”

JULY 19-25, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 19

FILM RATINGS **** ***@ **@@ *@@@

LESTER BANGS LESTER YOUNG LESTER BROWN LESTER MADDOX

NOW SHOWING BAD TEACHER **G@

Rated R • AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Cameron Diaz gives movie-lovers some lessons in raunchy comedy as teacher-from-hell Ms. Halsey in director Jake Kasdan’s new film. Co-starring Justin Timberlake and Jason Segal. BRIDESMAIDS *G@@

Rated R • Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Discerning moviegoers will be unwilling to divorce themselves from their hard-earned cash to see this vapid, unholy marriage of bad jokes and a weak cast, starring Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph. CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER **@@

Film unrated at press time • Opens on Friday, July 22 This latest adaptation of a classic Marvel Comic is the story of Steve Rogers (Chris Evans), who wants to be a soldier but is turned down — so he signs up for a top secret program that transforms him into Captain America, tasked with defending our nation from the diabolical Red Skull (Hugo Weaving). With Stanley Tucci, Tommy Lee Jones and Derek Luke. CARS 2 ***@

Rated G • AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. This latest road-worthy animated flick from the gang at PIXAR pits Lightning McQueen (voiced by Owen Wilson) in a face-off (grill-off?) with his four-wheeled foe Francesco Bernoulli (John Turturro) in the World Grand Prix. Larry the Cable Guy, Bonnie Hunt and Michael Caine lend their voices to this high-octane, summer thrill ride.

“Warrior Champions” is screened at 7:30 p.m. on July 25 at Five Points Theatre, 1028 Park St., Jacksonville. Filmmaker Craig Renaud’s emotional 2009 documentary follows a group of veterans who lost limbs or suffered paralysis while fighting in the Iraqi war, only to find hope while training for the ’08 Paralympic Games in Beijing. Admission is $8.50; $7.50 for seniors, military and students. 359-0047.

AREA THEATERS AMELIA ISLAND Carmike Amelia Island 7, 1132 S. 14th St., 261-9867 ARLINGTON & REGENCY AMC Regency 24, 9451 Regency Square Blvd., 264-3888 BAYMEADOWS & MANDARIN Regal Avenues 20, 9525 Philips Highway, 538-3889 BEACHES Regal Beach Blvd. 18, 14051 Beach Blvd., 992-4398 FIVE POINTS 5 Points Theatre, 1028 Park St., 359-0047 NORTHSIDE Hollywood River City 14, River City Marketplace, 12884 City Center Blvd., 757-9880

ORANGE PARK AMC Orange Park 24, 1910 Wells Road, (888) AMC-4FUN Carmike Fleming Island 12, 1820 Town Center Blvd., 621-0221 SAN MARCO San Marco Theatre, 1996 San Marco Blvd., 396-4845 SOUTHSIDE Cinemark Tinseltown, 4535 Southside Blvd., 998-2122 ST. AUGUSTINE Epic Theatres, 112 Theatre Drive, 797-5757 IMAX Theater, World Golf Village, 940-IMAX Pot Belly’s, 36 Granada St., 829-3101

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS **@@

Rated R • Opens on Friday, July 22 Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis star in this rom-com about two platonic pals who don’t think that a little hanky-panky will ruin their good friendship. Yeah, right. And the check’s in the mail. GREEN LANTERN **G@

Rated PG-13 • AMC Regency Square, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues This Marvel Comic-turned-movie is a little light on originality but delivers bright thrills with special effects and a decent performance by Ryan Reynolds as the ring-sporting, greensuited hero, though it won’t help his career. Co-starring Blake Lively, Tim Robbins, Angela Bassett and Peter Sarsgaard.

MONTE CARLO **@@

Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Reviewed in this issue. KUNG FU PANDA 2

***@

Rated PG • Regal Avenues High-steppin’ sequel about animals who happen to be martial arts experts delivers some real kicks with the voices of Jack Black, Gary Oldman, Angelina Jolie, Seth Rogen and Jackie Chan.

THE HANGOVER PART II

LARRY CROWNE

**G@

**@@

Rated R • AMC Regency Square, Regal Avenues Lowball comedy sequel to the ’09 hit is a “Gross Encounter of the Second Kind” that has Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifinakis and (yep) a monkey waking up with boozeinduced amnesia in Thailand. HARRY POTTER & THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART 2 **@@

Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd., WGHoF IMAX Theatre It’s the final film adaptation of the immensely popular series! Harry, Ron and Hermione battle against evil Lord Voldemort to save the Wizards and Muggles of this world! Zoinks! Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Ralph Fiennes star in this longawaited conclusion to this magical saga!

20 | folio weekly | JULY 19-25, 2011

HORRIBLE BOSSES ***G

Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, 5 Points Theatre, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Director-star Tom Hanks and costar Julia Roberts seem to be acting-by-the-numbers in this decent but unremarkable film about a man who receives an education in love and life after he returns to college. MIDNIGHT IN PARIS

***@

Rated PG-13 • Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, San Marco Theatre Woody Allen’s latest stars Owen Wilson as a Hollywood screenwriter on vacation in Paris who’s inexplicably transported to the City of Lights … in the 1920s. This wellreceived romantic comedy features an ensemble cast including Kathy Bates, Adrien Brody, Martin Sheen and Rachel McAdams.

Rated PG • AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Teen-geared fare starring Selena Gomez (OMG!) and Katie Cassidy as adventurous young women who spend summer vaca looking for fun, romance and a good deal on a yacht in Monte Carlo. MR. POPPER’S PENGUINS **@@

Rated PG • AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. This family-geared flick about millionaire Tom Popper (Jim Carrey) and the flock of penguins he inherits from his late father never really takes flight. Co-starring Ophelia Lovibond, Carla Gugino, Madeline Carroll and Angela Lansbury, and a whole bunch of adorable penguins. PHASE 7

**@@

Rated R • AMC Orange Park In the near future, a husband and wife battle killer-plagueinfested neighbors trying to break into their apartment, in this funky Argentinean horror import from writer-director Nicolás Goldbart. PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES

**G@

Rated PG-13 • AMC Regency Square Johnny Depp is Capt. Jack Sparrow in this swashbuckling yet predictable film. Also starring Penelope Cruz, Ian McShane and Geoffrey Rush and Keith “I don’t really need the money” Richards.

SUPER 8 ***@

Rated PG-13 • AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. J.J. Abrams’ kid-geared UFO romp doesn’t reach the dazzling heights set by his mentor/producer Steven Spielberg, but “Super 8” still soars on the strengths of a fun story and likeable cast. TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON @@@@

Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Director Michael Bay’s latest addition to this cinematic traffic jam moves along like a 20-car pile-up of mandatory special effects, bad acting and a slippery story. WINNIE THE POOH **@@

Rated G • AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Reviewed in this issue. X-MEN: FIRST CLASS ****

Scorsese’s 1978 mash note to Robbie Robertson and the rest of The Band, along with Eric Clapton, Neil Diamond (!!), Bob Dylan, Richard Starkey and Ron (Girls-he’s-good-looking) Wood at 2 p.m. on July 24 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. Tickets are $7.50. 355-2787. POT BELLY’S CINEMA “Everything Must Go” and “Water for Elephants” are shown at Pot Belly’s, 36 Granada St., St. Augustine. 829-3101. 5 POINTS THEATRE “Cave of Forgotten Dreams” is currently running at 5 Points Theatre, 1028 Park St., Jacksonville. Check 5pointstheatre. com for showtimes. “Larry Crowne” is screened through July 21. “Submarine” opens on July 22; call for showtimes. “Serenity” is screened at 11 p.m. on July 22 and at 7 p.m. on July 24. 359-0047. WGHOF IMAX THEATER “Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows Part 2, An IMAX 3D Experience” is screened along with “Born To Be Wild 3D,” “The Ultimate Wave Tahiti 3D” (featuring Kelly Slater), “Hubble 3D” and “Under The Sea 3D,” at World Golf Hall of Fame Village, 1 World Golf Place, Exit 323 off I-95, St. Augustine. 940-IMAX. worldgolfimax.com

NEW ON DVD & BLU-RAY

Rated PG-13 • AMC Regency Square Director Matt Vaughn’s excellent addition to the Marvel Comics film adaptations is a parallel ’60s history that splices the Bay of Pigs missile crisis and mutant DNA into one bangup action flick.

LIMITLESS Entertaining yet predictable sci-fi thriller, starring Bradley Cooper, Anna Friel and Robert De Niro, about a super pill that could do for a man’s brain what Viagra™ did for some men’s other, lower brain.

ZINDAGI NA MILEGI DOBARA

SOURCE CODE Jake Gyllenhaal, Michelle Monaghan and Vera Farmiga star in this edgy thrill ride about an agent sent back in time to try to stop an imminent disaster.

**@@

Not Rated • AMC Regency Square When one of a trio of pals becomes engaged, they all take off on one last dream vacation. ZOOKEEPER *G@@

Rated PG • AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. This goofy comedy stars Kevin James as Griffin, a lonelyhearted zookeeper who learns the ways of courtship and love from the caged animals in his care; still a felony act in most states. Co-starring Rosario Dawson, Donnie Wahlberg and the voices of Nick Nolte, Adam Sandler, Sly Stallone, Cher, Judd Apatow, Jon Favreau, Faizon Love and Don Rickles.

OTHER FILMS THE LAST WALTZ Summer Movie Classics series continues with Martin

POTICHE Director Francois Ozon’s comedy is about housewife Suzanne Pujo (Catherine Deneuve), who’s left with the task of running her late husband’s business in this clever French import that also stars that Francophile sex god, Gérard Depardieu.

TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT Grody to the max! Topher Grace, Anna Faris and Dan Fogler star in this ’80s-era comedy about an MIT college grad with no direction, who decides to party down like it’s, oddly enough, 1984. SOUND OF INSECTS: RECORD OF A MUMMY Director Peter Liechti blends fact and fiction in this acclaimed, dark film about a man who decides to commit suicide by traveling to a remote corner of the woods and starving himself to death, in what Folio Weekly is already calling the “feel-good hit of the summer.”

“Yes, the money is why I have chosen to become the ‘Nicolas Cage of Chubby Comedians.’ Any other questions?” Kevin James responds to some prickly accusations in the new comedy “Zookeeper.”

JULY 19-25, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 21

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Ask for Action

Produced by jw Checked by

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Plastic Fantastic Lover: Pop diva in training Jessie Malakouti and her new Buddy (Holly).

JESSIE AND THE TOY BOYS appear with BRITNEY SPEARS Saturday, July 23 at 8 p.m. Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., Jacksonville Tickets range from $28.50-$349 630-3900

hen Britney Spears’ writers steal one of your songs, reality train wreck Heidi Montag covers one of your songs and you dress like Ke$ha, you’re pretty much on your way to becoming pop royalty. Such is the life of Jessie Malakouti, a 22-year-old singer-songwriter from California who flies under the moniker Jessie and the Toy Boys (even though she’s a solo act). Malakouti is currently an opener on this summer’s Femme Fatale Tour (named after Spears’ chart-topping seventh studio album). The tour takes Spears, Nicki Minaj (though not for the Jacksonville date) and Jessie and the Toy Boys on an estrogen-fueled ride from Sacramento to St. Paul. Folio Weekly caught up with Malakouti, who has a new EP out, “Show Me Your Tan Lines,” which features the single “Push It,” to chat about her success, leaving home and her, like, beef with Britney. Folio Weekly: How’s the tour going? Jessie Malakouti: The tour is going great. It’s a dream every night. It’s fun to be in a diﬀerent city every night. Every audience is diﬀerent in the most amazing way. I’m having so much fun on stage. F.W.: It’s a pretty strenuous tour, with dancing and consecutive shows. How are you holding up?

22 | folio weekly | JULY 19-25, 2011

J.M.: It’s a really high-energy show — obviously singing and dancing at the same time takes a lot out of you. My set’s 20 minutes long and so really it’s nothing compared to what I put into it as far as preparation time. I was prepping for weeks for the tour — putting in eight-hour days. It’s actually much simpler than the rehearsals were. F.W.: I read that you left home at 16 to pursue music. How’s your relationship now with your parents? J.M.: Yeah, I did leave home to follow my dreams. You know, I think a lot of people’s parents don’t necessarily understand their

“I don’t really do this for anyone but myself. It makes me happy and I love to perform.” children for a while. I think once the news of this tour came out, I think one of the first things that happened was they were like, “Oh, we get it. We sort of get what you do now.” I don’t think they’ll ever fully get it, but I don’t really do this for anyone but myself. It makes me happy and I love to perform. F.W.: A lot of your music is influenced by spending time in underground European dance clubs. Tell me about that. J.M.: It was really great living in Europe,

because I was introduced to a bunch of new genres that I never would have heard if I had stayed in America. And it’s really funny because I feel like pop music in the U.S. is always a few years late following the trends of Europe and the U.K. So I thought it would be a great advantage to live there and be exposed to what is happening in electronic music and dance music and dub step. That sound is still very relevant here and it’s just trickling into our airways. F.W.: There was controversy surrounding your 2008 single “Trash Me” and Britney Spears’ 2009 single “If U Seek Amy.” Critics claimed the key signature, chord progression, melodies and even BPMs (beats per minute) of both songs were identical — alleging she stole your song. How did you ladies resolve that for this tour? J.M.: It never had anything to do with Britney, so there was nothing to get over. I’m the biggest Britney Spears fan and that was an issue between the songwriters and myself. So everything’s cool. F.W.: How did it feel when you were asked to come along on this tour? J.M.: Honestly, Kara, it was the biggest honor ever. It’s a huge female lineup … it’s like the hottest girls in music right now — at least that’s what I think. To be a part of this is just the best feeling in the world. It’s a great opportunity for me as a pop artist, because I get to perform in front of thousands of people every night that love pop music.  Kara Pound themail@folioweekly.com

Reptile Style

Gainesville’s Snakehealers shed their skin but keep the faith SNAKEHEALERS with YARDWORK, THE REAL MATT WOODS, THE WOBBLY TOMS and TERRI GAMBLE Friday, July 22 at 8 p.m. Café Eleven, 540 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach Tickets are $5 460-9311

Snakehealers chose Café Eleven for their July 22 show, recruiting two local openers (IrishAmericana folkies The Wobbly Toms and sultry-voiced singer Terri Gamble) and two Southern friends (Nashville’s The Real Matt Woods and North Carolina’s Yardwork) for a down-home good time. Anyone looking to get in on Snakehealers’ charming brand of auditory cure before it blows up should also grab a copy of their fivesong demo, culled from the 14 originals the band recorded recently. “We did the demo just so we could hear ourselves and decide what needed to be different,” Stuart says. “And then we mixed down five, just to give something to people that they could take home. It’s always nice to do that, so you’re not just a sticker on a this is a copyright protected pro urinal somewhere.” Although each Snakehealer works a day job — Stuart as a food rep, Smith slinging pizza, For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn dAte: 071911 Alligood doing screenprinting and Permann FAX Phillips YOURCenter PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 as a stagehand at Gainesville’s for Performing Arts — Stuart says the potential Produced by ab Checked by Sal promise of benefit sUpport Ask for Action is there for the band to connect with not only former The Takers fans, but also maybe inspire a new and growing fan base. “A lot of these punk rock guys are getting older and taking to country a little bit more, you know?” he laughs. “So we do want to take it to a national level.” “As long as you’re honest, and you stay true to yourself and write about what you know, people will respond,” he continues. “Gainesville © 2011 and St. Augustine are filled with honest musicians; hell, there’s enough talent here alone to fill the Southeast with good bands. The music will always be there; you just gotta get off your butt and strum a guitar.” 

rogress is paramount to a musician, both to succeed and stay sane. That’s why Gainesville singer-songwriter Devon Stuart has moved a few clicks over on the radio dial — from the high lonesome outlaw country of his previous band The Takers to a dense, electrified Southern-rock sprawl with his new project Snakehealers. After the previous band took its last curtain call earlier this year, Chad Smith joined Stuart and the two recruited Mike Alligood and Chase Permann, of respective Bracelet and Liquid Limbs fame. For all of The Takers’ success — a critically acclaimed full-length on Suburban Home Records, abiding love from the exploding country-punk scene, multiple national tours — the shift is one that Stuart feels was necessary. “I felt like with The Takers I was getting pigeonholed, where everything I was writing had to turn out ‘outlaw country,’ ” he tells Folio Weekly. “With Snakehealers, I can bring whatever’s coming out of me to the band, and it becomes a completely different monster altogether.” While Stuart champions the individual style of each Snakehealers member, he’s comfortable as the band’s main songwriter. “We already have 15 or 16 originals,” he says. “For a while I was writing a song a week. I’m always writing. Picking up my guitar allows me to get lost in something besides my daily life. And I’m very observational, which is what singer-songwriter, Americana, roots music — whatever you want Cold-Blooded Delivery: to call it — is all about.” The Snakehealers frontman That laid-back technique Devon Stuart. doesn’t extend to every aspect of the Snakehealers’ existence, though. Based on their previous music-biz experience, Stuart and Smith decided that with middle age creeping in and jobs and families to attend to, they’d make sure their new band was a supremely efficient operation. “We went into this project wanting to be very careful,” Stuart says. “We aren’t getting any younger, so we’re being very particular about where we play, how many times we play and who we play with. That sounds a little pretentious, but I’m getting too old to deal with the BS.” Luckily for Oldest City music fans, Stuart’s St. Augustine roots led him to believe it was only appropriate to start the band’s second regional run back home. “Seeing as how we all have day jobs, our plan is to do a weekend a month around the region,” he says, “then expand from there with whatever feedback we get.”

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Nick McGregor themail@folioweekly.com

JULY 19-25, 2011 | folio weekly | 23

Eat Starch Mom: Local indie rockers RICE.

Brand New Heavies

The latest compilation by local indie Skinny Records: Foretold by prophecy?

he early Americans traveled a road of treachery, plague and hardship. And for many, that was merely the lime-covered plank that led to the outhouse. It was an age when women were measured by the strength of their backs, men judged by the weight of their musketballs and children praised for their hardiness of character, robustness of blood and deftness with a scabbard. One whelp who could honor all that criteria and still chew the pelt off a bear’s ass faster than one could sing the opening salvos of “Granny Shat the Hardtack” was none other than Jim Bridger. Born in 1804, James “Jim” Bridger had already survived untamed wilderness and abandonment by his scurrilous parents by the time he joined the legendary Gen. William Ashley’s expedition in his 18th year. The quintessential mountain man, Bridger was a renowned trapper, army officer, guide and interpreter. Also an inveterate bullshitter, Bridger was known to spin yarns about “glass mountains”

angel records the Lord’s final thunderclap.’ ” When originally published, this utterance seemed like the doped-up gibberish of a mad man or radio talk show host. Nearly a century later, it reads as chilling prophecy. They say that serendipity is the lisping, tag-along sister of fate, for lo and behold, Folio Weekly has received a “A Skinny Records Compilation.” This five-song affair is the latest release from the local indie label helmed by Tom Essex and Ryan Turk. So in the grand tradition of both Bridger and his scholar Sousé, we shall explore the findings therein. First up is the pleasantly bass-heavy swerve of Opiate Eye’s “Dance 5,” wherein the vocalist sings so clearly that what was once known as electro pop shall forever be known as “elocution-pop,” for not since Dennis DeYoung’s buttery larynx lubed the lyrics of Styx has a group enunciated with such precision. The next track by Besotes, “Diasporatic Three,” is an instrumental track that

Not since Dennis DeYoung’s buttery larynx lubed the lyrics of Styx has a group enunciated with such precision.

24 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JULY 19-25, 2011

and a petrified forest inhabited by “peetrified” birds singing “peetrified” songs. By the time he died in 1881, Bridger was among the first European-Americans to see the Great Salt Lake and was well-regarded for his skills at mediating relations between native tribes and encroaching whites. Yet Bridger was a moody sort and while famed Bridger biographer Grenville Dodge described him as a “very companionable man … hospitable and generous,” rogue Bridger scholar Dagobert Sousé III portrayed the Virginia-bred journeyman thusly: “When he wasn’t cramming his half-bred jowls with sweetcakes, eagle eggs and whiskey, this otherwise staunchly occidental army officer was known to fall prey to the fever dreams induced by the jade curse of the Oriental and his opium pipe.” Even more shocking still was Sousé’s controversial study of Bridger’s selfdocumented experiments with opiate-soaked horsemeat, “Into the Jaws of God” (1918). After acquiring a copy of this 3,000-page screed, Folio Weekly was astounded to come across the following excerpt at the document’s conclusion, wherein Bridger finally succumbed to inevitable narcotic overdose: “Eventually, the dying septuagenarian had to be restrained, lest he bite the now-terrified chaplain a third time. On his passing, he glared at the flickering lantern at his bedside and was heard to croak, ‘The skinny

might benefit from not existing. “Dear Bird,” by the delectably groovy RICE, is a tasty rocker seasoned with nice string jabs and a short and sweet production style. Wild Life Society’s “Evil Stares” drives a killer, pumping beat and sports a strained vocal delivery that sounds as if the lead singer were actually being carried aloft by a mighty bird during production. While WLS’s latest cut is an effective tune from these local faves, it reminds me of a pressing spiritual irony. While in the actual ’80s, countless musicians took drugs to escape the music of the day. Yet judging by today’s sounds, contemporary youth are seemingly taking drugs to invoke the sound of the ’80s! You can’t win. The final track on the EP, “Running with Dark Circles,” is by Opiate Eyes lead man Drew Bond; it’s a cool, confessional ditty striking a perverted symmetry between “Hee Haw” simian Roy Clark and UK psychoballadeer Roy Harper. Along with their fellow local yokels at Infintesmal Records, Skinny Records has been creating a signature sound in recent years, delivered by a well-maintained stable of rockers (including the aforementioned acts) that any fearless fans of local music would do well to seek out and explore. The eternally stoned ghost of Jim Bridger nods his approval.  Dan Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com

FreebirdLive.com 200 N. 1st St., Jax Beach, FL • 904.246.BIRD (2473) THURSDAY JULY 21

LITTLE JAKE & THE SOUL SEARCHERS This R&B group SWEET LOW DOWN The sweet rockers play at 9 p.m. on performs at 8 p.m. on July 21 at European Street Café, 1704 July 22 at The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park. VITAL REMAINS Thrash metal group Vital Remains perform San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $12.50; $15 246-0611. at 6 p.m. on July 19 at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., at the door. 399-1740. MIKEY’S IMAGINARY FRIENDS, RICKOLUS, NEIGHBORS Jacksonville. 223-9850. DiCARLO THOMPSON This local artist appears at 8 p.m. on Psych rockers Mikey’s Imaginary Friends perform at 9:30 p.m. BASTARD SUNS, TWITCH ANGRY Rockers Bastard Suns play July 21 at Island Girl Cigar Bar, 7860 Gate Parkway, Jacksonville. on July 22 at Dive Bar, 331 E. Bay St., Jacksonville. 359-9090. some slightly illegitimate tunes at 8 p.m. on July 19 at Jack 854-6060. RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET J. Collins appears at 10:30 a.m., Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are BLISTUR The local group performs at 9 p.m. on July 21 at Saltwater Cowgirls at 11:45 a.m. and Kelty Shelhorn is in at 2:30 Ghetto youths crew $8. 398-7496. Cliff’s Bar & Grill, 3033 Monument Rd., Jacksonville. 645-5162. p.m. on July 23 at Riverside Arts Market, held under the Fuller FRIDAY JULY 22 JASON ISBELL & the 400 UNIT, JONNY CORNDAWG AltCLAIBORNE SHEPHERD Singer-songwriter Shepherd is on Warren Bridge at Riverside Avenue, Jacksonville. 554-6865. country rocker Isbell and The 400 Unit perform at 9:30 p.m. on at 9 p.m. on July 21 at Dog Star Tavern, 10 N. Second St., SALUTE THE TROOPS with J. COLLINS Country artist J. Collins July 19 at Mojo Kitchen, 1500 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. Advance Fernandina Beach. 277-8010. plays this patriotic-inspired gig at 4:30 p.m. on July 23 at The tickets are $15; $18 at the door. 247-6636. TROPICO STEEL SOLO PAN MAN Music in the Courtyard Bayard Rooster, 12661 Philips Highway, Jacksonville. 880-7771. ROBERT LESTER FOLSOM Local psych-rock legend Folsom presents this night of Caribbean music at 7 p.m. on July 22 at DJ PRINCE OF J-VILLE, TRIAMERA, J WILL These local rap performs at 10 p.m. on July 19 at Dos Gatos, 123 E. Forsyth St., 200 First St., Neptune Beach. 249-2922. and rock groups hit the stage at 7 p.m. on July 23 at Brewster’s Jacksonville. 354-0666. THE BEN & AJA 2 This eclectic acoustic group performs Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 223-9850. “SOUTHPAW” MARK JOHNS This bluesy artist performs at 6 at 7 p.m. on July 22 at Three Layers Café, 1602 Walnut St., BOYS NO GOOD CD RELEASE PARTY with TAKE IT BACK, SATURDAY JULY 23 p.m. on July 20 at Downtown Blues Bar & Grille, 714 St. Johns Jacksonville. 355-9791. RUST BELT LIGHTS Indie rockers Boys No Good hold an Ave., Palatka. (386) 325-5454. PILI PILI Reggae faves Pili Pili play at 8 p.m. on July 22 at album release party at 8 p.m. on July 23 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 CODE OF SILENCE, SIRENS, SILENCE THE DOUBTFUL, Pusser’s Caribbean Grille, 816 A1A N., Ponte Vedra. 280-7766. Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $10. 398-7496. FOREVER OUR WAR These local heavy-hitters play at 6 p.m. MATT COLLINS Area artist Collins plays at 8 p.m. on July CLAYTON BUSH The local singer-songwriter performs at 8 on July 20 at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. 22 at Island Girl Cigar Bar, 7860 Gate Parkway, Jacksonville. p.m. on July 23 at Island Girl Cigar Bar, 7860 Gate Parkway, Tickets are $10. 223-9850. 854-6060. Jacksonville. 854-6060. JOHNSTON DUO This acoustic group performs at 6:30 p.m. on CONFUSED LITTLE GIRL, SWAMP SISTERS This night of HAL McGEE, OTOLATHE, CHRIS NADEAU, DAN REAVES, TUESDAY JULY 26 July 20 at Casa Marina Hotel & Restaurant, 691 N. First St., Jax indie rock kicks off at 8 p.m. on July 22 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 LUCY BONK, STEVE LADENSACK, RYAN STANLEY Nullspace ELECTRO TUESDAYS w/ Beach. 270-0025. Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $8. 398-7496. Gallery presents this evening of noise and experimental music SUPER BOB, AUDZIO, A SOUND BELOW Washington, D.C.SNAKEHEALERS, YARDWORK, THE REAL MATT WOODS, at 8 p.m. on July 23 at CoRK Arts District, 2689 Rosselle St., based rockers Super Bob perform at 8 p.m. July 20 at Landshark WOBBLY TOMS, TERRI GAMBLE The indie rock delights kicks Jacksonville. 716-4202. Café, 1728 Third St. N., Jax Beach. Admission is $5. 246-6024. off at 8 p.m. on July 22 at Café Eleven, 540 A1A Beach Blvd., CHRIS C4MANN The local musician performs at 8 p.m. on ROB FRANCIS CD RELEASE PARTY This rocker holds his CD St. Augustine Beach. Tickets are $5. 460-9311. July 23 at Pusser’s Caribbean Grille, 816 A1A N., Ponte Vedra. release party at 8 p.m. on July 20 at Dive Bar, 331 E. Bay St., KATE CARPENTER This folk artist appears at 8 p.m. on July 22 280-7766. FRIDAY JULY 29 Jacksonville. 359-9090. at Larimer Arts Center, 216 Reid St., Palatka. Admission is $7. JAMIE DeFRATES, SUSAN BROWN These singer-songwriters AARON SHEEKS Local singer-songwriter Sheeks plays at 8 (386) 328-8998. appear at 8 p.m. on July 23 at European Street Café, 5500 p.m. on July 20 at Island Girlfor Cigar Bar, 7860 Gate Parkway, WE THE SUMMER SET, HOT Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $10. 399-1740. Produced by KINGS, jw Checked byDOWNTOWN SalesFICTION, Rep rl sUpport Ask Action Jacksonville. 854-6060. CHAELLE RAE, ACTION ITEM This night of punk and emo BRITNEY SPEARS, JESSIE AND THE TOY BOYS Pop diva DANNY KENT Singer-songwriter Kent appears at 6 p.m. on kicks off at 8 p.m. on July 22 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Spears performs at 8 p.m. on July 23 at Veterans Memorial July 21 at Pusser’s Caribbean Grille, 816 A1A N., Ponte Vedra. Jax Beach. Advance tickets are $15. 246-2473. Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets range from SATURDAY JULY 30 280-7766. JAZZ CHRONIC This jam band is on at 9 p.m. on July 22 at Dog $28.50-$349. 630-3900. TOBY KEITH, AARON LEWIS Country favorite Keith performs at Star Tavern, 10 N. Second St., Fernandina Beach. 277-8010. TRIBAL SEEDS, SEEDLESS, SIDEREAL Sweet reggae music 7 p.m. on July 21 at the St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340C A1A A1A NORTH This local group hits the stage at 9 p.m. on July 22 Produced by ab Checked by Sales Rep rm fills the air at 8 p.m. onAsk July 23for at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., promise of benefit sUpport Action S., St Augustine Beach. Tickets are $62 and $87. 209-0367. and 23 at Cliff’s Bar & Grill, 3033 Monument Rd., Jacksonville. Jax Beach. Advance tickets are $10. 246-2473. STEPHEN MARLEY Reggae artist Marley performs at 8 p.m. on 645-5162. ELIZABETH ROTH Local fave Roth performs at 8:30 p.m. on SUNDAY JULY 31 July 21 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Advance REBECCA DAY Singer-songwriter Day performs at 9 p.m. on July July 23 at Downtown Blues Bar & Grille, 714 St. Johns Ave., tickets are $21. 246-2473. 22 at The Grape, 10281 Midtown Parkway, Jacksonville. 642-7111. Palatka. (386) 325-5454.

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JULY 19-25, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 25

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THE MIGHTY MAD VANS These local rockers swerve onstage at 9 p.m. on July 23 at The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park. 246-0611. HEAD SEEDS The jam band is on promptly at 9 p.m. on July 23 at Dog Star Tavern, 10 N. Second St., Fernandina Beach. 277-8010. COMFORT ZONE This local group performs at 9 p.m. on July 23 at Wing It, 11018 St. Augustine Road, Jacksonville. 262-6652. LIGHTHOUSE MUSIC These indie rockers illuminate the stage at 9 p.m. on July 23 at Dive Bar, 331 E. Bay St., Jacksonville. 359-9090. GOLIATH FLORES Multi-instrumentalist Flores performs at 1 p.m. on July 24 at Three Layers CafĂŠ, 1602 Walnut St., Jacksonville. 355-9791. DONNIE MAINE This blues singer performs at 4 p.m. on July 24 at Downtown Blues Bar & Grille, 714 St. Johns Ave., Palatka. (386) 325-5454. CARIBBEAN LEGENDS The island music kicks off at 4 p.m. on July 24 at Pusserâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Caribbean Grille, 816 A1A N., Ponte Vedra. 280-7766. LAWRENCE APP This singer-songwriter plays at 5 p.m. on July 24 at European Street CafĂŠ, 992 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. 399-1740. DEAD END KIDS, UNION BOYS, N.C.A. These punkers perform at 6 p.m. on July 24 at Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 223-9850. BAYSIDE, TRANSIT, DANCELL These punk and indie rockers perform at 8 p.m. on July 24 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $12. 398-7496. ORION, IN BETRAYAL, GRENADE FACE, STAND TALL, KINGMAKER, EVERY PASSING DREAM These heavy hitters perform at 6 p.m. on July 25 at Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 223-9850. DEATH OF PARIS, THE TELL TALE HEART These local rockers play at 6 p.m. on July 26 at Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 223-9850. AFTER THE BOMB, BABY! The local indie rockers perform at 4 p.m. on July 26 at the Main Libraryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Hicks Auditorium, 303 N. Laura St., Jacksonville. 630-2417.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

MEMPHIBIANS, POLYAMOROUS July 27, Shantytown Pub

MARTHAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S TROUBLE, KIMBERLY PAIGE July 28, European Street CafĂŠ FRONTIERS (Journey Tribute) July 29, Freebird Live ALIEN ANT FARM July 29, Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pit FURTHUR featuring BOB WEIR & PHIL LESH July 30, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ROD MacDONALD July 30, European Street CafĂŠ YANKEE SLICKERS, GRANDPAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S COUGH MEDICINE July 30, Mojo Kitchen TYLER BRYANT BAND July 30, Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pit DONAVON FRANKENREITER, SETH PETTERSEN July 30 & 31, Freebird Live SELENA GOMEZ & THE SCENE, ALLSTAR WEEKEND July 31, St. Augustine Amphitheatre 10 YEARS, MAYLENE & THE SONS OF DISASTER Aug. 1, Freebird Live JB SCOTTâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S SWINGINâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; ALLSTARS Aug. 1, European Street CafĂŠ UNCOMMON MUSIC with STEPHEN CAREY, JORDYN JACKSON & SHAWN FISHER, SAM PACETTI, SUNBEARS! Aug. 3, The Florida Theatre POW WOW FESTIVAL with 311, SUBLIME, DEFTONES, G. LOVE & SPECIAL SAUCE, SOJA, MIX MASTER MIKE, MURS Aug. 4-6, Spirit of Suwannee Music Park THE HENCHMEN, THE LIMIT Aug. 4, Jack Rabbits ROD PICOTT, AMANDA SHIRES Aug. 4, European Street CafĂŠ POOR RICHARDS, AMMO NATION, CAFFIENDS, FFN Aug. 5, Jack Rabbits MATT BUTCHER Aug. 5, CafĂŠ Eleven BERT QUARTET Aug. 9, European Street CafĂŠ COL. BRUCE HAMPTON with DUANE TRUCKS Aug. 12, Mojo Kitchen JUSTIN MOORE Aug. 17, Whisky River ALISON KRAUSS & UNION STATION, JERRY DOUGLASS Aug. 19, St. Augustine Amphitheatre PAUL GARFINKLE CD Release Party Aug. 20, European Street CafĂŠ SLIGHTLY STOOPID, REBELUTION, SHWAYZE, CISCO ADLER Aug. 21, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MATISYAHU Aug. 23, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE CHOP TOPS, THE ROCKETZ, THE STRIKERS Aug. 24, Jack Rabbits TAMMERLIN Aug. 25, European Street CafĂŠ APPLESEED CAST Aug. 26, Jack Rabbits TIM KASHER Aug. 30, CafĂŠ Eleven

FOURPLAY Sept. 2, The Florida Theatre MIRANDA COSGROVE Sept. 2, St. Augustine Amphitheatre POLYGONS CD Release Party Sept. 3, Jack Rabbits HAWTHORNE HEIGHTS Sept. 4, Jack Rabbits GUTTERMOUTH, TNT, SYNCODESTROYO, POOR RICHARDS Sept. 8, Jack Rabbits BETH McKEE BAND Sept. 8, European Street CafĂŠ DELBERT McCLINTON Sept. 10, The Florida Theatre WISHING WELL, CHRIS MILLAM Sept. 15, European Street CafĂŠ AMELIA ISLAND BLUES FESTIVAL Sept. 16 & 17, Fernandina Beach ERYKAH BADU, THE Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;JAYS, RICKY SMILEY Sept. 17, Veterans Memorial Arena FLEET FOXES, THE WALKMEN Sept. 20, The Florida Theatre LINDSEY BUCKINGHAM Oct. 3, The Florida Theatre TAPES â&#x20AC;&#x2122;N TAPES Oct. 5, CafĂŠ Eleven PETER FRAMPTON Oct. 7, St. Augustine Amphitheatre RALPH STANLEY Oct. 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall REV. HORTON HEAT, SUPERSUCKERS Oct. 17, Freebird Live ELECTRIC SIX, KITTEN Oct. 19, Jack Rabbits REGINA CARTER Oct. 20, The Florida Theatre BIG D & THE KIDS TABLE Oct. 21, Jack Rabbits THE GIN BLOSSOMS Oct. 29, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall TAYLOR SWIFT Nov. 11, Veterans Memorial Arena JOHN FOGERTY Nov. 12, St. Augustine Amphitheatre RIDERS IN THE SKY Nov. 18, The Florida Theatre

Tue. Open mic at 7 p.m. every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;KANEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S IRISH PUB, 318 Centre St., 261-1000 Dan Voll at 7:30 p.m. every Wed. Turner London Band at 8:30 p.m. every Thur., Fri. & Sat. THE PALACE SALOON & SHEFFIELDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S, 117 Centre St., 491-3332 BSP Unplugged every Tue. & Sun. Wes Cobb every Wed. DJ Heavy Hess in Sheffieldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, Hupp & Rob in Palace every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. DJ Miguel Alvarez in Sheffieldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s every Fri. DJ Heavy Hess every Sat. Cason every Mon. PLAE, 80 Amelia Circle, Amelia Island Plantation, 277-2132 Gary Ross from 7-11 p.m. every Thur.-Sat. SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6990 Trunk Monkeys from 7-11 p.m. on July 22. Cason at 2 p.m. at the tiki bar every Sat. & Sun. THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Richard Smith on July 19. Kent Kirby on July 21. Andy Haney on July 22 & 25. Richard Stratton on July 23. Gary Stewart at noon, Gary Keniston at 5 p.m. on July 24. Reggie Lee on July 26. DJ Roc at 5 p.m. every Wed.

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AJâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S BAR & GRILLE, 10244 Atlantic Blvd., 805-9060 DJ Sheryl every Thur., Fri. & Sat. DJ Mike every Tue. & Wed. Karaoke every Thur. MEEHANâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S TAVERN, 9119 Merrill Rd., Ste. 5, 551-7076 Karaoke every Wed. Live music every Fri. Open mic every Wed. MVPâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S SPORTS GRILLE, 12777 Atlantic Blvd., 221-1090 everyfor Fri. & Sat. Produced promise of benefit sUpportLive music at 9 p.m.Ask Action PLUSH, RAIN, LAVA, 845 University Blvd. N., 745-1845 DJ AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH Massive spins top 40 in Rain every Wed., DJs spin Latin every BEECH STREET GRILL, 801 Beech St., 277-3662 John Springer Fri.; house & techno in Z-Bar every Fri. every Fri. & Sat., every other Thur. Barry Randolph every Sun. TONINOâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S TRATTORIA & MARTINI BAR, 7001 Merrill CAFE KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269 Live music in the Rd., Ste. 45, 743-3848 Alaina Colding every Thur. W. Harvey courtyard at 6 p.m. every Fri. & Sat., at 5 p.m. every Sun. Williams at 6 p.m. every Fri. Signature String Quartet every Sat. DOG STAR TAVERN, 10 N. Second St., 277-8010 Claiborne VIP LOUNGE, 7707 Arlington Expressway, 619-8198 Shepherd at 9 p.m. on July 21. Jazz Chronic at 9 p.m. on July Karaoke from 9-11 p.m. every Tue. Live music every Wed. 22. Head Seeds at 9 p.m. on July 23. Live music every weekend Reggae every Thur. Live music from 9-11 p.m. every Fri. Old GENNAROâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ITALIANO SOUTH, 5472 First Coast Hwy., school jams every Sat. A DJ spins from 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Sun. 491-1999 Live jazz from 7:30-9:30 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. GREEN TURTLE TAVERN, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Dan Voll AVONDALE, ORTEGA from 7-10 p.m. every Fri. Live music every weekend BRICK RESTAURANT, 3585 St. Johns Ave., 387-0606 Duet INDIGO ALLEY, 316 Centre St., 261-7222 Dan Voll & the Alley every Wed. Goliath Flores and Sam Rodriguez every Thur. Bush Cats at 8 p.m. every Sat. Frankieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Jazz Jam at 7:30 p.m. every

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Grandpaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cough Medicine at 4:30 p.m. on July 24 LYNCHâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Split Tone BLUES ROCK CAFE, 831 N. First St., 249-0007 Open mic on at 10:30 p.m. every Tue. Nate Holley Band every Wed. Ryan July 25. Live music every weekend Campbell every Thur. Video DJ & Karaoke every Sun. Little THE BRASSERIE, 1312 Beach Blvd., 249-5800 Live music Green Men every Mon. every Wed. & Thur. MAYPORT TAVERN, 2775 Old Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, BRIX TAPHOUSE, 300 N. Second St., 241-4668 J Anonymous 270-0801 Live music at 3 p.m. every Sun. Open mic at 5 p.m. every Mon., Tue. & Thur. Live music every Wed. DJ IBay every every Wed. DJ Jason hosts Karaoke at 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. Fri. & Sat. Charlie Walker every Sun. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., Ste. 2, 246-1500 CARIBBEE KEY, 100 N. First St., Neptune Beach, 270-8940 Bread & Butter on July 20. Wits End on July 21. Paul Lundgren on Peter Dearing from 9 p.m.-mid. on July 19. Mark Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Quinn on July 22. Yankee Slickers on July 23. Live music every Fri. & Sat. July 20. Alex Seier on July 21. Carl & the Black Lungs on July MEZZA LUNA, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573 Neil 22 & 23. Live music on July 24 Dixon at 6 p.m. every Tue. Mike Shackelford and Rick Johnson CASA MARINA, 691 First St. N., 270-0025 Johnston Duo on at 6 p.m. every Thur. July 20. Derryck Lawrence Project on July 27 MOJO KITCHEN, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636 Jason Isbell & COPPER TOP, 1712 Beach Blvd., 249-4776 Woody & the The 400 Unit and Jonny Corndawg on July 19. Yankee Slickers Peckers on July 21. Mike Lyons on July 22. DJ Thomas on July and Grandpaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cough Medicine on July 30 BAYMEADOWS 23. Karaoke with Billy McMahan from 7-10 p.m. every Tue. MONKEYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S UNCLE TAVERN, 1850 S. Third St., 246-1070 THE COFFEE GRINDER, 9834 Old Baymeadows Rd., THE COURTYARD, 200 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-2922 Wes Cobb at 10 p.m. every Tue. DJ Austin Williams spins dance 642-7600 DJ Roy Luis spins new & vintage original house at Tropico Steel Solo Pan Man Barry Olsavsky at 7 p.m. on July 22. & for Karaoke at 9 p.m. every Wed., Sat. & Sun. DJ Papa Sugar 9 p.m. every Thur. Live music every Fri. spins dance music at 9 p.m. every Mon., Thur. & Fri. MY PLACE BAR-N-GRILL, 9550 Baymeadows Rd., 737-5299 CULHANEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE, 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300 Live Out of Hand every Mon. Rotating bands every other Tue. & Wed. 249-9595 The John Thomas Group at 6 p.m. every first Tue. music nightly OASIS GRILL & CHILL, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., 748-9636 DICKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S WINGS & GRILL, 311 Third St. N., 853-5004 Live NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic DJs Stan and Mike Bend spin every Feel Good Fri. music at 9 p.m. on July 24. Open mic every Thur. Live music Beach, 372-4105 Live music every Thur.-Sat. TERA NOVA, 8206 Philips Hwy., 733-8085 DJ Jose de la every Fri. & Sat. Reggae every Sun. Karaoke every Mon. OCEAN 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060 Live Soul spins salsa & freestyle every Latin Thur. DJs spin hip hop ENGINE 15 BREWING COMPANY, 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. music every weekend every Fri. DJs Leland & Marc-E-Marc spin top 40 & house every 217, 249-2337 Live music every Thur. RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, Sat. DJ Leland McWilliams spins for South Beach Friday every EUROPEAN STREET, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001 Lawrence 241-7877 Dennys on July 20. Exit on July 21. Boogie Freaks on 2nd Fri. Reggae Fanatic is held every 3rd Fri. App from 5-8 p.m. on July 24 July 22 & 23. Mark Williams on July 24 TONY Dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S NEW YORK PIZZA & RESTAURANT, 8358 Point FIONN MACCOOLâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S IRISH PUB, 333 First St. N., 242-9499 RITZ LOUNGE, 139 Third Ave. N., 246-2255 DJ Jenn Azana Meadows Dr., 322-7051 Live music from 6-9 p.m. every Fri. Live music every Tue.-Sun. every Wed.-Sat. DJ Ibay every Sun. FLYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 E. Sailfish Dr., Atlantic Beach, RUSH STREET/CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILL, 320 N. 246-4293 Nate Holley every Mon. Wes Cobb every Thur. Live First St., 270-8565 A DJ spins at 10 p.m. every Wed., Fri. & BEACHES music every Fri. & Sat. King Eddie reggae every Sun. Sat. (In Jax Beach unless otherwise noted) FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 Stephen Marley SUN DOG, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 241-8221 THE ATLANTIC, 333 N. First St., 249-3338 The Infader spins on July 21. We The Kings, Summer Set, Downtown Fiction, Hot Open mic on July 19 & 26. Billy & Trevor on July 20. Chuck For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: every Wed. DJ Wes Reed spins every Thur. DJ Jade spins old Chaelle Rae and Action Item on July 22. Tribal Seeds, Seedless Nash Duo on July 21. Blistur on July 22 & 23. Bread & Butter on wave YOUR & â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s retro, SilverStar spins hip hop every Fri. Wes and Sidereal on July 23. Frontiers (Journey Tribute) on July 29 July 24. Billy Buchanan on July 25. Live music every Wed.-Sun. FAX PROOF IF POSSIBLE ATDJ268-3655 Reed spins â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s, old school, remixes & mashups, Capone spins ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR, 108 First St., Neptune Beach, THE WINE BAR, 320 N. First St., 372-0211 Live music every top 40 & dance faves every Sat. 372-0943 Dave Hendershott on July 20. Clayton Bush on July Fri. & Sat. BEACHSIDE SEAFOOD, 120 S. Third St., 444-8862 Kurt 21. Aaron Sheeks on July 22. Billy Buchanan on July 23 PROMISE OF BENEFIT JW SUPPORT ASK FOR ACTION Produced by ____ Checked by ____ Sales Rep ____RM Lanham sings classical island music every Fri.-Sun. LANDSHARK CAFE, 1728 N. Third St., 246-6024 SuperBob, DOWNTOWN BILLYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S BOATHOUSE, 2321 Beach Blvd., 241-9771 Mr. Audzio and A Sound Below at 9 p.m. on July 20 BURRO BAR, 228 E. Forsyth St., 353-4692 DJ Tin Man spins Sunshine at 5:30 p.m. on July 21. 4Play at 6 p.m. on July LILLIEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., Neptune Beach, reggae & dub every Tue. Devin Balara, Jack Diablo & Carrie 23. John Waters at 6 p.m. on July 23. Kurt Lanham at noon, 249-2922 Jazz at 7:30 p.m. every Sat. Doctors every 1st Fri. & Sat. Live jazz every Fri. & Sat. THE CASBAH CAFE, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. 3rd Bass every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave., 387-3582 DJ Keith spins for Karaoke every Tue. DJ Free spins vintage every Fri. ELEVATED AVONDALE, 3551 St. Johns Ave., 387-0700 Karaoke with Dave Thrash every Wed. DJ 151 spins hip hop, R&B & old-school every Thur. DJ Catharsis spins lounge beats every 1st & 4th Sat. Patrick Evan & Co-Alition every Industry Sun. MOJO NO. 4, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670 Live music every Fri. & Sat. TOM & BETTYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S, 4409 Roosevelt Blvd., 387-3311 Cloud 9 at 7:30 p.m. on July 22. Live music every Fri. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Sat.

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Mon: 2-4-1 Selected Cans Tues: All U Can Drink Draft 1 Person $15, 2 people $20/Karaoke Wed: Bike Night, Happy Hour All Day Thurs: Karaoke, Free Draft for Ladies 9pm-1am, Mix Drinks 2 for $5 Fri & Sat: DJ Dave Sat: Ladies $5 All U Can Drink Draft starts at 9pm Sun: Happy Hour All Day/Karaoke

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Come Knock Your Boots Off 12405-7 N. Main St. | 647-7798

Wednesday Dennys Thursday Exit Friday & Saturday Boogie Freaks Sunday Mark Williams Atlantic Blvd. at the Ocean "UMBOUJD #FBDI r JULY 19-25, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 27

Location every Thur. Live music every Fri. $Big Bucks DJ Crew$ FLEMING ISLAND MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999 every Sat. Bert No Shirt & Uncle Jesse every Sun. DJ Chef Rocc Rebecca Day on July 20. Barrett Jockers on July 21. Wes Cobb spins hip hop & soul every Sun. on July 22. Nate Holley on July 23. Live music every Fri. & Sat. CAFE 331, 331 W. Forsyth St., 354-1999 Acoustic open MERCURY MOON, 2015 C.R. 220, 215-8999 DJ Ty spins for mic 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Tue. Live music at 9 p.m. every Wed. ladies’ nite every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Buck Smith & Fri. Factory Jax’s goth-industrial 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Sat. Project every Mon. Blistur unplugged every Wed. Underground 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Mon. RUSH STREET/CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILL, 406 Old CITY HALL PUB, 234 Randolph Blvd., 356-6750 DJ Skillz Hard Rd., Ste. 106, 213-7779 A DJ spins at 10 p.m. every spins Motown, hip hop & R&B every Wed. Live music every Tue. Wed., Fri. & Sat. & Thur. Smooth Jazz Lunch at 11 a.m., Latin music at 9 p.m. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Cowford every first Fri.; Ol’ Skool every last Fri. County for Country Night at 9 p.m. on July 21. Fats Lewis at 5 CLUB TSI, 333 E. Bay St. Live music every weekend p.m., One Night Stand at 9:30 p.m. on July 22. Gary Stewart at CoRK ARTS DISTRICT, 2689 Rosselle St., 716-4202 Hal 5:30 p.m., live music at 9:30 p.m. on July 23. Chillakaya on the McGee, Otolathe, Chris Nadeau, Dan Reaves, Lucy Bonk, Steve deck at 5 p.m. on July 24. DJ BG every Mon. Ladensack and Ryan Stanley on July 23 DE REAL TING CAFE, 128 W. Adams St., 633-9738 DJs Mix Master Prince, Pete, Stylish, Big Bodie play reggae, calypso, INTRACOASTAL WEST R&B, hip hop and top 40 every Fri. & Sat. BREWSTER’S PIT, 14003 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 223-9850 DIVE BAR, 331 E. Bay St., 359-9090 Rob Francis on July 20. Vital Remains on July 19. Code Of Silence, Sirens, Silence Mikey’s Imaginary Friends, Rickolous and Neighbors at 9:30 The Doubtful, Forever Our War on July 20. DJ Prince of JVille, p.m. on July 22. Lighthouse Music at 9 p.m. on July 23 Triamera and J Will on July 23. Dead End Kids, Union Boys and DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth, 354-0666 Robert Lester Folsom at N.C.A. on July 24. Orion, In Betrayal, Grenade Face, Stand Tall, 10 p.m. on July 19. DJ Synsonic spins every Tue. & Fri. DJ Rockin’ Kingmaker, Every Passing Dream on July 25. Death of Paris Bones spins rock, rockabilly & roots every Wed. DJ Scandalous and The Tell Tale Heart on July 26 spins every Sat. DJ Randall spins Karaoke every Mon. BREWSTER’S PUB, 14003 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 223-9850 THE JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Open mic every Wed. Karaoke with DJ Randal & live music every Party of Four from 7 p.m.-mid. on July 22. Little Green Men from Thur., Fri. & Sat. A DJ spins every Mon. 7 p.m.-mid. on July 23. Bob & Tom from 4-8 pm. on July 24 BRUCCI’S PIZZA, 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 36, 223-6913 THE IVY ULTRA BAR, 113 E. Bay St., 356-9200 DJs 151 The Produced promise ofevery benefit sUpport forevery Action Mike Shackelford atAsk 6:30 p.m. Sat. and Mon. Experience & C-Lo spin Rush Hour Wed. DJ E.L. spins top CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 40, South Beach & dance classics every Pure Sat. Blistur on July 21. A1A North on July 22 & 23. Karaoke every MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Vinn Tue. DJ Kevin for ladies nite every Wed. Karaoke with DJ Jack at spins top 40 for ladies nite every Thur. Ritmo y Sabor every 9 p.m. every Sun. Live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat. Fiesta Fri. BayStreet mega party with DJ Shotgun every Sat. JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE & STEAKHOUSE, 13170 Atlantic MAVERICKS ROCK N’HONKY TONK, The Jacksonville Blvd., Ste. 22, 220-6766 Rocco Blu at 7:30 p.m. on July 21. Rick Landing, 356-1110 Bobby Laredo spins every Thur. & Sat. Arcusa Band at 8:30 p.m. on July 22. Mr. Natural at 8:30 p.m. Saddle Up every Sat. on July 23. The Karaoke Dude at 8 p.m. every Mon. Live music NORTHSTAR THE PIZZA BAR, 119 E. Bay St., 860-5451 outside for Bike Night every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Open mic night from 8:30-11:30 p.m. every Wed. THE PEARL, 1101 N. Main St., 791-4499 DJs Tom P. & Ian S. spin ’80s & indie dance every Fri. DJ Ricky spins indie rock, hip JULINGTON CREEK, NW ST. JOHNS hop & electro every Sat. HAPPY OURS SPORTS GRILLE, 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, ZODIAC GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283 Eric Carter and Ste. 101, 683-1964 Live music at 7:30 p.m. every Fri. DJ Al Pete every Fri.

SHANNON’S IRISH PUB, 111 Bartram Oaks Walk, 230-9670 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

MANDARIN

AW SHUCKS OYSTER BAR & GRILL, 9743 Old St. Augustine Rd., 240-0368 Open mic with John O’Connor from 7-10 p.m. every Wed. Cafe Groove Duo, Jay Terry and John O’Connor, from 8-11 p.m. every Sat. Live music from 9 p.m.-mid. every Sat. BLUE CRAB CRABHOUSE, 3057 Julington Creek Rd., 260-2722 Live music on the deck every Sun. afternoon CHEERS BAR & GRILL, 11475 San Jose Blvd., 262-4337 Karaoke at 9:30 p.m. every Wed. HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-3040 Karaoke from 9 p.m.-1 p.m. every Mon.-Thur. Dennis Klee & the World’s Most Talented Waitstaff every Fri. & Sat. THE NEW ORLEANS CAFE, 12760 San Jose Blvd., 880-5155 Jazz on the Deck 7-10 p.m. with Sleepy’s Connection every Tue. Open mic with Biker Bob at 7:30 p.m. every Thur. Les B. Fine at 1 p.m. every Reggae Sun. Creekside Songwriters Showcase at 7 p.m. on the last Wed. each month RACK ’EM UP BILLIARDS, 4268 Oldfield Crossing, 262-4030 Craig Hand every Sat. Karaoke at 7 p.m. every Sun. SPECKLED HEN TAVERN & GRILLE, 9475 Philips Hwy., Ste. 16, 538-0811 Live music from 6-9 p.m. every Fri.

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CHEERS BAR & GRILL, 1580 Wells Rd., 269-4855 Karaoke by ab Checked by Sales Rep nv at 9:30 p.m. every Wed. & Sat. CRACKERS LOUNGE, 1282 Blanding Blvd., 272-4620 Karaoke every Fri. & Sat. THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael every Wed.-Sat. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Sweet Low Down on July 22. The Mighty Mad Vans on July 23. DJ Waldo every Tue. DJ Papa Sugar every Wed. Buck Smith Project every Mon.

PALATKA

DOWNTOWN BLUES BAR & GRILLE, 714 St. Johns Ave., (386) 325-5454 Southpaw Mark Johns at 6 p.m. on July 20. Elizabeth Roth at 8:30 p.m. on July 23. Donnie Maine at 4 p.m. on July 24. Karaoke every Thur.

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July 22. Nova and Marvel at 9 p.m. on July 23. Live music every Tue.-Sat. URBAN FLATS, 9726 Touchton Rd., 642-1488 Live music every Fri. & Sat. WHISKY RIVER, 4850 Big Island Drive, 645-5571 Miss Willie Brown on July 20. A DJ spins every Fri. & Sat. WILD WING CAFE, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Live music every Fri. & Sat. Karaoke every Mon.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

Illuminated Jams: St. Augustine experimental quintet Lighthouse Music performs on July 23 at 9 p.m. at Dive Bar, 331 E. Bay St., Jacksonville. 359-9090.

PONTE VEDRA

NINETEEN at SAWGRASS, 110 Championship Way, 273-3235 Time2Swing at 6 p.m. every Thur. Strings of Fire every Sat. PUSSER’S CARIBBEAN GRILLE, 816 A1A N., Ste. 100, 280-7766 Danny Kent at 6 p.m. on July 21. Pili Pili at 8 p.m. on July 22. Chris C4Mann at 8 p.m. on July 23. Caribbean Legends from 4-8 p.m. on July 24 URBAN FLATS, 330 A1A N., 280-5515 High Tides of Jazz at 7:30 p.m. on July 21. Evans Bros. at 7:30 p.m. on July 22. Darren Corlew Band on July 23. Darren Corlew every Tue. Soulo & Deron Baker at 6 p.m. every Wed.

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

HJ’S BAR & GRILL, 8540 Argyle Forest Blvd., 317-2783 Karaoke with DJ Ron at 8:30 p.m. every Tue. & DJ Richie at every Fri. Live music every Sat. Open mic at 8 p.m. every Wed. KICKBACKS, 910 King St., 388-9551 Ray & Taylor every Thur. Robby Shenk every Sun. THE LOFT, 925 King St., 476-7283 DJs Wes Reed & Josh K every Thur. LOMAX LODGE, 822 Lomax St., 634-8813 DJ Dots every Tue. Milan da Tin Man every Wed. DJ Christian every Sat. DJ Spencer every Sun. DJ Luminous every Mon. METRO, 2929 Plum St., 388-8719 DJ Chadpole every Fri. & Sat. Karaoke with KJ Rob every Sun., Mon. & Tue. THE MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave., 388-7807 A Call for Kylie, 4:35 On a Thursday, R-Kitech, Favoretta and Northe at 7:30 p.m. on July 23. MyChildren MyBride, Impending Doom, A Bullet for Pretty Boy, The crimson Armada and This or the Apocalypse at 7 p.m. on July 25. Arrows Are Deadly: Missional Tour with Showbread, Ascend the Hill and The Ember Days on July 27 WALKERS, 2692 Post St., 894-7465 Jax Arts Collaborative every Tue. Patrick & Burt every Wed. DJ Jeremiah every Thur. Acoustic every Thur.-Sat. Dr. Bill & His Solo Practice of Music at 5 p.m. every Fri.

ST. AUGUSTINE

A1A ALE WORKS, 1 King St., 829-2977 Deron Baker on July 21. The Mixx on July 22 & 23 AMICI ITALIAN RESTAURANT, 1915 A1A S., 461-0102 Fermin Spanish guitar from 6-8 p.m. every Thur. ANN O’MALLEY’S, 23 Orange St., 825-4040 Smokin Joe on July 19. August West at 6:30 p.m. on July 20. Dewy Via on July 22. Andre From Idleswood on July 23. Colton McKenna at 1 p.m., Karaoke at 8 p.m. on July 24 THE BRITISH PUB, 213 Anastasia Blvd., 810-5111 Karaoke with Jimmy Jamez at 9 p.m. on July 22, 23 & 28. Reggae Sunday with KC on July 24. Open mic night with TJ on July 25 CAFE ELEVEN, 540 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311 Snakehealers, Yardwork, The Real Matt Woods, Wobbly Toms and Terri Gamble at 8 p.m. on July 22 CELLAR UPSTAIRS, San Sebastian Winery, 157 King St., 826-1594 Sentropolis at 7 p.m. on July 22. Preston Pohl at 2 p.m., MidLife Crisis at 7 p.m. on July 23. Vinny Jacobs at 2 p.m. on July 24 CHICAGO PIZZA & BAKERY, 107 Natures Walk Pkwy., Ste. 101, 230-9700 Greg Flowers hosts open-mic and jazz piano from 7-10 p.m. every Tue. Live music every Fri. CONCH HOUSE LOUNGE, 57 Comares Ave., 829-8646 Brad Newman at 6 p.m. on July 21. Aaron Sheeks at 3 p.m., Jerry Melfi at 7:30 p.m. on July 22. Dwayne McGregor at 3 p.m., Alex Austin at 8 p.m. on July 23. Scholars Word from 3-7 p.m. on July 24. Brad Newman every Thur. Live music at 3 p.m. every Sat.

CRUISERS GRILL, 3 St. George St., 824-6993 Live music every Fri. & Sat. Chelsea Saddler every Sun. FLORIDA CRACKER CAFE, 81 St. George St., 829-0397 Lonesome Bert & the Skinny Lizard at 5:30 p.m. every Wed. HARRY’S SEAFOOD BAR & GRILLE, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765 Stu Weaver every Mon. JACK’S BARBECUE, 691 A1A Beach Blvd., 460-8100 Jim Essery at 4 p.m. every Sat. Live music every Thur.-Sat. KING’S HEAD BRITISH PUB, 6460 U.S. 1, 823-9787 Mike Sweet from 6-8 p.m. every Thur. KOZMIC BLUZ PIZZA CAFE & ALE, 48 Spanish St., 825-4805 Live music every Fri., Sat. & Sun. MARDI GRAS SPORTS BAR, 123 San Marco Ave., 823-8806 Open jam nite with house band at 8 p.m. every Wed. Battle of the DJs with Josh Frazetta & Mardi Gras Mike every last Sun. MEEHAN’S IRISH PUB, 20 Avenida Menendez, 810-1923 Live music every Fri. & Sat. MI CASA CAFE, 69 St. George St., 824-9317 Chelsea Saddler noon-4 p.m. every Mon., Tue. & Thur. Elizabeth Roth at noon every Sun. MILL TOP TAVERN & LISTENING ROOM, 19 1/2 St. George St., 829-2329 Alan Dalton & Terry Campbell at 9 p.m. on July 22 & 23. Katherine Archer at 1 p.m. on July 24. Vinny Jacobs every Tue. Todd & Molly Jones every Wed. Colton McKenna at 9 p.m. every Thur. Will Pearsall at 9 p.m. every Mon. THE REEF, 4100 Coastal Hwy., Vilano Beach, 824-8008 Richard Kuncicky from 11 a.m.-2:30 p.m. every Sun. SANGRIAS PIANO BAR, 35 Hypolita St., 827-1947 Soul Searchers every Wed. Jim Asalta every Thur. Jazz every Fri. The Housecats every Sat. Sunny & the Flashbacks every Sun. SCARLETT O’HARA’S, 70 Hypolita St., 824-6535 Lil Blaze & DJ Alex hosts Karaoke every Mon. THE TASTING ROOM, 25 Cuna St., 810-2400 Bossa nova with Monica da Silva & Chad Alger from 5-8 p.m. every Sun. TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Red River Band at 8:30 p.m. on July 22 & 23. Mark Hart every Mon.Wed. Open mic every Thur. Mark Hart & Jim Carrick every Fri. Elizabeth Roth at 1 p.m., Mark Hart at 5 p.m. every Sat. Keith Godwin at 1 p.m., Wade at 5 p.m. every Sun. Matanzas at 9 p.m. Sun.-Thur. ZHANRAS, 108 Anastasia Blvd., 823-3367 Deron Baker & Soulo every Tue. DJ Cep spins ’80s & disco every Sun. Vinny Jacobs open mic every Mon.

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER, TINSELTOWN

AROMAS CIGARS & WINE BAR, 4372 Southside Blvd., Ste. 101, 928-0515 Live jazz from 8-11 p.m. every Tue. & Wed. Live music every Thur. Piano bar with Will Hurley from 9 p.m.-1 a.m. every Fri. Guitarist Bill Rice at 9 p.m. every Sat. Salsa every Sun. THE GRAPE, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-7111 Rebecca Day at 9 p.m. on July 22. Live music every Fri. & Sat. John Earle every Mon. DJ Mikeology every Thur. ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR, 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115, 854-6060 Aaron Sheeks on July 20. DiCarlo Thompson on July 21. Matt Collins on July 22. Clayton Bush on July 23 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Court, Ste. 1, 997-1955 Tim O’Shea on July 20. Charlie Walker on July 21. Nate Holley on July 22. Wes Cobb on July 23. Billy Buchanan on July 24. Open mic nite every Tue. SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY, 9735 Gate Parkway N., 997-1999 Chuck Nash every Thur. Live music at 10 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. SUITE, 4880 Big Island Dr., 493-9305 Marvel at 10 p.m. on

BASIL THAI & SUSHI, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190 Live music every Sat. ENDO EXO, 1224 Kings Ave., 396-7733 Paten Locke spins hip hop & tru school every Thur. DJ J-Money spins jazz, soul, R&B, house every Fri. DJ Manus spins top 40 & dance every Sat. Reggae every Sun. Open mic with King Ron & T-Roy every Mon. EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 399-1740 John Thomas Jazz Group at 8 p.m. on July 19. Little Jake Mitchell & the Fabulous Soul Searchers at 8 p.m. on July 21. Jazz every 2nd Tue. HAVANA-JAX CUBA LIBRE BAR LOUNGE, 2578 Atlantic Blvd., 399-0609 MVP Band from 6-9 p.m., DJs No Fame & Dr. Doom every Wed. Jazz every Thur. DJ Omar spins dance every Fri. DJs Harry, Rico & Nestor spin salsa every Sat. JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Bastard Suns and Twitch Angry on July 19. Confused Little Girl and Swamp Sisters on July 22. Boys No Good CD release party, Take It Back and Rust Belt Lights on July 23. Bayside, Transit and Dancell on July 24 MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922 Bossa nova with Monica da Silva & Chad Alger at 7 p.m. every Thur. SQUARE ONE, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 306-9004 Soul on the Square & Band of Destiny at 8 p.m. every Mon. John Earle Band every Tue. DJs Wes Reed & Matt Caulder spin indie dance & electro every Wed. Split Tone & DJ Comic every Thur.

SOUTHSIDE

AROMAS, 4372 Southside Blvd., Ste. 101, 928-0515 Live jazz from 8-11 p.m. every Tue. & Wed. Live music from 8-11 p.m. every Thur. Piano Bar with Will Hurley from 9 p.m.-1 a.m., a DJ spins till close every Fri. Bill Rice at 9 p.m. every Sat. Salsa every Sun. BOMBA’S, 8560 Beach Blvd., 997-2291 Open mic from 7-11 p.m. with Chris Hall every Tue. & every first Sun. Live music at 8 p.m. every Fri., at 6 p.m. every Sat. & at 5 p.m. every Sun. CORNER BISTRO & Wine Bar, 9823 Tapestry Park Cir., Ste. 1, 619-1931 Matt “Pianoman” Hall at 8 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717 Jamie DeFrates and Susan Brown at 8 p.m. on July 23 LATITUDE 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 Whyte Python at 9 p.m., VJ Shotgun at 10 p.m. on July 22. Sweet Low Down at 8 p.m., Josh Frazetta at 10 p.m. on July 23. Josh Frazetta on July 24. Your Jax Music open mic every Wed. Whyte Python every Flashback Fri. Live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat.

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SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

BOOTS-N-BOTTLES, 12405 N. Main St., Ste. 7, Oceanway, 647-7798 DJ Dave on July 22 & 23. Karaoke every Tue., Thur. & Sun. with DJ Dave. Open mic every Wed. A DJ spins every Fri. & Sat. DAMES POINT MARINA, 4518 Irving Rd., 751-3043 Mango Fever at 6 p.m. on July 20. Black Creek Rizin’ at 7 p.m. on July 22. Black Creek Rizin’ at 5 p.m. on July 23. Chrome Hearts at 4 p.m. on July 24. Live music every Fri. & Sat. FLIGHT 747 LOUNGE, 1500 Airport Rd., 741-4073 Big Engine every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. ’70s every Tue. HAMMERHEADS GRILL, 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., 240-0373 Cupid’s Alley on July 29. Chrome Heart on July 29. Live music every Fri. & Sat. RIVERCITY ISLAND GRILL & CHILL, 13141 City Station Drive, 696-0802 Pat Marino & Reggae Swat Team on July 22 SKYLINE SPORTSBAR & LOUNGE, 5611 Norwood Ave., 517-6973 Bigga Rankin & Cool Running DJs every Tue. & 1st Sun. Fusion Band & DJ every Thur. DJ Scar spins every Sun. THREE LAYERS CAFE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 Open mic night with Al Poindexter at 7 p.m. on July 21. The Ben & Aja 2 at 7 p.m. on July 22. Goliath Flores at 1 p.m. on July 24. Karaoke at 7 p.m. on July 19 3 LIONS SPORTS PUB & GRILL, 2467 Faye Rd., 647-8625 Trunk Monkeys from 8 p.m.-mid. on July 23. Open mic at 8 p.m. every Thur. Woodie & Wyatt C. every Fri. Live music at 8 p.m. every Sat. To be included in the live music listing, send all the vitals — time, date, location with street address, city, admission price and contact number — to Dan Brown, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 or email events@folioweekly.com. Live music listings are included on a space-available basis.

JULY 19-25, 2011 | folio weekly | 29

1) Mattress (mixed media, 36"x36") 2) Courtney (mixed media, 36"x48") 3) One of These Things Doesn’t Belong (mixed media, 24"x38") 4) Drinking Pink (mixed media, dimensions unknown)

Girls Are Prettier

Painter Megan Cosby merges fashion, texture and feminism into a beautiful mystique

he intimation that the work of certain artists might be “fashionable” is an accusation that borders on slander. Yet the paintings of local artist Megan Cosby expand the very definition of the dreaded “F” word, gathering at a strange crossroads of contemporary design and style, traveled by waiflike women rendered in imaginative textures. Cosby herself is seemingly indiﬀerent to any allegations of style, since it was her brief study of the fashion world that opened the door to her painting. While studying advertising and communications at University of North Florida, Cosby began taking painting classes. She always drew as a child, but the Richmond, Va., native hadn’t even put color on canvas until she was 18 years old. Cosby connected with the local fashion scene, where she found some early work dressing models for photo shoots. She also took a studio class with an eye on her ultimate goal of fashion sketching. But after years of diligent study and patience, she was surprised at the result. “I immediately found myself bored with it!” she laughs. “The focus is strictly on the clothes, and there’s no real depth there.” Cosby increasingly found her attention focused on the models rather than the clothes they wore. She began drawing narratives of these unknown women, looking for emotional weight and even flaws in these otherwise idyllic and youthful female forms. “I like the imperfections of people,” she says. “It makes them who they are.” A piece like “Wishing Flower” (mixed media, 36"x36") takes these shortcomings to the point of saturation. An almost ghostlike girl sits in the middle of the composition in a shifting color-field of tans, greens and soft browns. Daﬀodils, dripping lines and upsidedown hearts (the latter two images recurring in much of Cosby’s work) give a sense that the model

30 | folio weekly | JULY 19-25, 2011

is forever in a weird state of partiality, dissolving and somehow “becoming” in the same moment. The effect is as unsettling as it is totally engaging. Acrylic paints, pastels, receipts and ticket stubs all blend together to create a signature effect that is unique to Northeast Florida artists. “I think these materials become the story of the person in the painting. They add a sense of realness.” Cosby is equally adept at toggling ideas of reality and femininity. Her “Pink Soda” series (2008) teases female imagery with the ultimate “girly” color — hot pink. Cosby’s initial motivation was downright defiant. While employed at a local gallery, she recalls with a laugh, “people were telling me that I should never paint landscapes, and never use the color pink.” The resulting series places women in provocative, bored and decidedly “unladylike” poses, with giant washes of pink engulfing them. “The paintings are about contradiction,” she says, “and [the series’ title] was just the cheesiest title that I could imagine.” Cosby’s instincts for combining naughty and nice with a conceptual edge paid off. “I actually sold half of those paintings.” While still in college, Cosby was briefly enchanted by the contemporary portraiture of Elizabeth Peyton, but by the time she graduated in 2007, she had outgrown the influence. Cosby admits to liking the fashion-bending ideas of the L.A.-based Joshua Pertkins, but her paintings find a subtle corollary in the work of Rita Ackermann, the Hungarian-born artist now based in New York City, who juxtaposes seemingly innocent young girls into scenes with hints of an occult-like menace. Cosby also acknowledges an almost-unconscious but at times humorous influence from the artists with whom she shares a studio space. “I’ll find myself not even realizing that I pick up some things that they do.” The 26-year-old sees it as an inevitable human trait of acquiring both

the good and bad habits of those within one’s sphere. Most recently, artists Tony Rodrigues and Wendy Lovejoy brought their popular TACT Apparel clothing line into the Riverside space where Cosby works. The painter Shannon Estlund had been a longtime tenant at the same space, with Cosby readily admitting to absorbing some of the outgoing Estlund’s style. “Shannon came back into the studio to pick something up, saw a newer piece and remarked, ‘That looks a little bit like a Tony Rodrigues’,” laughs Cosby. “And I just thought, ‘Oh no!’” The anecdote belies Cosby’s good-natured humility, as much as her ability to incorporate the elements around her — some found close to home. Cosby explains that while the models in her works are culled from the many photographs she uses as a reference, the women who inhabit her works are usually a composite. Yet she readily admits, “I will always use a certain roommate of mine named Courtney!” This decision is based on beauty and aesthetic, as well as in-house convenience. “She’s the easiest person to get.” Cosby has shown locally at the Ponte Vedra Beach Stellers Gallery, R. Roberts Gallery and the now-defunct Flux Gallery. Current work may be seen at the twiceweekly visual displays she hangs at Violet Boutique in Five Points. The time spent on each painting is dictated by Cosby’s mood and incentive. “I work really well under deadline,” she explains, and with the right conditions, she can complete a piece in a day or even a few hours. She is now honoring her latest self-imposed deadline for an upcoming November show to be held at Stellers. Until then, she’s satisfied to sell her works, which fall in the $1,500 price range, directly from her site (megancosbygallery.com)

“In the past, I have relied a lot on themes,” says Cosby, explaining her use of series, motifs and recurring media. “But now I feel like all of these things are sort of merging together.” One obvious factor in her paintings, however, is the complete absence of any male figures. The reason, says Megan Cosby, is simple: “Girls are prettier.”  Dan Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com

Cosby (pictured below) has shown locally at the Ponte Vedra Beach Stellers Gallery, R. Roberts Gallery and the now-defunct Flux Gallery. Cosby’s current work can be seen at Vault Gallery’s “Tomorrow is Now” show through July, as well as at the twice-weekly visual displays she hangs at Violet Boutique in Five Points.

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Ella Joyce pays theatrical tribute to Civil Rights activist Rosa Parks in “A Rose Among Thorns” ROSE AMONG THORNS, A TRIBUTE TO ROSA PARKS starring ELLA JOYCE Sunday, July 24 at 3 p.m. Stage Aurora Performance Hall, Gateway Town Center, 5188 Norwood Ave., Jacksonville Advance tickets are $20; $25 at the door 765-7372, 765-7373

long with Mother Teresa, Coco Chanel, Madonna, Hillary Clinton and Aretha Franklin, Time magazine named Rosa Parks one of “The 25 Most Powerful Women of the Past Century.” Born in 1913 in Tuskegee, Ala., Parks lived a modest life with none of the trappings of celebrity. But by the time she was 42 years old, she had become a household name through an act of dignity that would change this country forever. In December 1955, Parks, who was active in her local NAACP and a burgeoning Civil Rights activist, was riding a bus in Montgomery when she refused to give up her

director go where they’re asked: churches, schools, fraternities, theaters and celebrations. For this particular performance, Joyce will be making her first trip to Jacksonville. “A Rose Among Thorns” is the closing and headlining performance at the fourth annual Aurora Jacksonville Black Arts Festival, a three-day celebration sponsored by The National Endowment for the Arts to celebrate African-American heritage in Northeast Florida and beyond. The brainchild of Stage Aurora executiveartistic director and founder Darryl Reuben Hall, the festival also features a tae kwan do exhibition, a kids zone and special programming like the 100 Youth Voices ’70s concert and the Anointed Gospel talent search. According to Joyce, “A Rose Among Thorns” is a great chance to learn about Civil Rights martyrs and great American women. “The audience walks away feeling like they just had tea with Ms. Parks,” she says. Joyce’s ultimate dream is to see the

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“Even as a child, I always admired [Rosa Parks]. I grew up in Detroit when she lived there and my parents always made sure I knew who she was.” play staged on Broadway. Even if it doesn’t seat for a white passenger. That defiant gesture make it there, the actress will continue her landed Parks under arrest and helped spark the performances around the country. “As long as Montgomery Bus Boycott, a seminal moment people want the show, there’s no reason to put it in the history of Civil Rights. to rest,” she says. “Ms. Parks lived until she was “I’ve always had a kindred spirit connection 92, so I guess I can keep going until I’m 92.”  with Ms. Parks,” explains actress Ella Joyce, the creator of and sole performer in “A Rose Kara Pound Among Thorns,” a one-act theatrical tribute to themail@folioweekly.com Parks. Directed by Dan Martin, the monodrama headlines the fourth annual Aurora Jacksonville The fourth annual Aurora Jacksonville Black Black Arts Festival. Arts Festival is held July 22-24. For a full For Joyce, emulating a cultural icon like schedule, visit stageaurora.org Parks — dubbed the First Lady of Civil Rights by Congress — is more than just another day’s work. It’s an honor. “Even as a child, I always admired her. I grew up in Detroit when she lived there and my parents always made sure I knew who she was.” Joyce is best known for her extensive live theater performances, as well as playing the lead “Eleanor Emerson” on the sitcom “Roc,” and the recurring role of “Jasmine” on the sitcom “My Wife & Kids.” Joyce also stays busy acting in movies like “Our Family Wedding,” and a slew of independent films. “I had started a skeletal monologue about famous black women when Ms. Parks passed away,” Joyce explains, citing Parks’ 2005 death at the age of 92. “When this happened, the story just started coming out and focusing on Ms. Parks.” To celebrate Parks’ birthday, Joyce premiered “A Rose Among Thorns” in Los Angeles on Feb. 4, 2007. Over the past four years, the 75-minute play has been performed more than 70 times in 26 cities, to crowds ranging from 30 to 1,500. “I’ve even performed privately in people’s living rooms,” she laughs. With the show A Dramatic Resemblance: Ella Joyce stars in “A Rose designed to be mobile, Joyce and her theater Among Thorns.”

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PERFORMANCE A ROSE AMONG THORNS, A TRIBUTE TO ROSA PARKS Ella Joyce stars in this monodrama, chronicling the life of Civil Rights activist Rosa Parks, at 3 p.m. on July 24 at Stage Aurora Performance Hall, Gateway Town Center, 5188 Norwood Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $20; $25 at the door. 765-7372, 765-7373. JAX YOUTH POETRY SLAM The second annual Jax Youth Poetry Slam is held at 5:30 p.m. on July 20 at the Main Library, 303 N. Laura St., Jacksonville. Young poets ages 11-18 are encouraged to register — up to the day of the competition — for this open-mic event. 630-0673. DEARLY DEPARTED Fernandina Little Theatre stages this dark comedy at 7:30 p.m. on July 19 and 20 at 1014 Beech St., Fernandina Beach. Tickets are $12.50. 206-2607. THE WHO’S TOMMY Players By The Sea presents this musical tale of the Pinball Wizard at 8 p.m. on July 21, 22 and 23 at 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach. Tickets are $25. The show also runs July 28-30 and Aug. 4-6. 249-0289. MURDER MYSTERY DINNER THEATER St. Augustine Murder Mystery Dinner Theater presents nightly performances of “Murder at Café Noir” at 6:30 p.m. at Ramada in Historic Downtown, 116 San Marco Ave. Tickets are $43.15; $35.15 for children. 671-2508. WILLY WONKA Alhambra Theatre & Dining stages an adaptation of Roald Dahl’s classic story at 7:30 p.m. on July 19-24, at 1:15 p.m. on July 21 and 23 and at 2 p.m. on July 24 at 12000 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $42-$49. 641-1212. MURDER IN THE OLDE CITY The Limelight Theatre presents this dinner theater whodunit at 6 p.m. on July 24 at The Raintree Restaurant, 102 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine. Tickets are $39.95. 825-1164.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS ARTS FORUM & VIDEO SEMINAR The newly designated Arts and Culture Nassau (formerly the Arts Council) holds a community forum and video production seminar from 10 a.m.-noon on July 23 at Betty P. Cook Nassau Center, 760 William Burgess Road, Yulee. Representatives from all of Nassau County’s arts organizations discuss the current status and future of the arts in the community, followed by videographer Emily Jane Murry’s lecture, Introduction to Video Production. 548-4400. LECTURE BY HOWARD FINSTER’S DAUGHTER Museum of Contemporary Art presents “Film and Family: An Intimate Evening for Howard Finster with special guest Beverly Finster-Guinn” at 7 p.m. on July 21 at 333 N. Laura St., Jacksonville. Finster-Guinn tells stories about her father’s art, life and legacy followed by a screening of “The Sacred Vision of Howard Finster.” Grandpa’s Cough Medicine performs at 6:30 p.m. Admission is free. 366-6911. PHOTOGRAPHING YOUR ART Pablo Rivera holds presents a workshop, featuring tips on documenting artistic works, from 10 a.m.-noon on July 23 at The Art Center Cooperative II, 229 N. Hogan St., Jacksonville. Bring one piece of work to photograph. Fee is $10; $5 for TAC members. 537-3364. CALL TO ARTISTS TAC is seeking sculptors and photographers for its juried Inter-dimensional Photography & Sculpture show. The entry deadline is Aug. 18; entry fee is $25 for three entries; $20 for members. The opening reception is held on Aug. 25. For details and application, go to tacjacksonville.org/call.html CONSERVATORY SUMMER STRINGS The Northeast Florida not-for-profit music school offers beginning string instruction from 6:30-8 p.m. on July 25 and Aug. 1 and 8. Intermediate string lessons are held from 6:30-8 p.m. on July 21 and 28 and Aug. 4 and 11. Class fee is $120. The school invites area players to join its community band every Mon. from 6:30-8 p.m. at 11363 San Jose Blvd., Bldg. 200, Jacksonville. 374-8639. nfconservatory.org THEATRICAL CLASSES Acting classes for all ages in improvisation, musical theater, audition techniques, monologue and scene work are offered at Players By The Sea, 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach. Each class culminates with a showcase. Fees vary. 249-0289. ADULT ART CLASSES Beginning and advanced acrylics, watercolors, photoshop, drawing, oil painting and portrait painting classes are held Mon.-Sat. at The Cultural Center at Ponte Vedra, 50 Executive Way, Ponte Vedra. Fees vary. 280-0614. ccpvb.org CORSE GALLERY WORKSHOPS Beginning and advanced acrylics, watercolors, oil painting

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and portrait painting classes are held Mon.-Sat. at Corse Gallery & Atelier, 4144 Herschel St., Jacksonville. Fees vary. 388-8205. corsegalleryatelier.com WEST AFRICAN DRUM & DANCE A drumming class is held at 5:30 p.m., and an African dance class is held at 6:45 p.m. every Fri. at St. Johns Cultural Arts Center, 370 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine. Each class is $10. 315-1862. THEATRICAL ARTS Classes in theatrical performance, including song and dance, are held Mon.-Fri. at The Performers Academy, 3674 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Fees vary. 322-7672. theperformersacademy.com DANCE INSTRUCTION Braided Light Dance Project offers adult intermediate ballet classes from 6:15-7:45 p.m. every Wed. and from 1-2:30 p.m. every Sat. at Barbara Thompson School of Dance, 8595 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Each class is $10. 997-0002.

CLASSICAL & JAZZ JOHN THOMAS GROUP Jazz pianist Thomas leads his combo at 8 p.m. on July 19 at European Street Café, 1704 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville. 399-1740. BARTÓK, BACH AND BRITTEN Cellist Victor Minke Huls, pianist Tugce Tari and violinist Max Huls perform a concert of works by Bartók, Britten, Bach, Gliere and Cassadó at 7:30 p.m. on July 21 at Friday Musicale, 645 Oak St., Jacksonville. 355-7584. TAYLOR ROBERTS TRIO Guitarist Roberts, bassist Stan Piper and drummer Ben Adkins perform at 9 p.m. on July 23 at Jazzland Café, 1324 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. 240-1009. UNITARIAN PIANO RECITAL Pianist Matthew Young performs works by Liszt, Prokofieff and Bach at 10:45 a.m. on July 24 at Unitarian Universalist Church, 7405 Arlington Expressway, Jacksonville. 725-8133. JAZZ AT TREE STEAKHOUSE Boril Ivanov Trio performs at 7 p.m. every Thur. and pianist David Gum performs at 7 p.m. every Fri. at Tree Steakhouse, 11362 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville. 262-0006. JAZZ AT GENNARO’S Gennaro’s Ristorante Italiano features live jazz at 7:30 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at 5472 First Coast Highway, Fernandina Beach. 491-1999. JAZZ IN ST. AUGUSTINE Rhett’s Piano Bar & Brasserie features live jazz nightly at 7 p.m. at 66 Hypolita St., St. Augustine. 825-0502.

ART WALKS & FESTIVALS AURORA JACKSONVILLE BLACK ARTS FESTIVAL The fourth annual festival includes a screening of the film “Richard and Oscar: Filmmaking in Black and White” at 7 p.m. on July 22 at Stage Aurora Performance Hall, Gateway Town Center, 5188 Norwood Ave., Jacksonville. On July 23, a Tae Kwan Do exhibition is held from 10-11:30 a.m., the Aurora Star Baby Contest is from noon-1:30 p.m.; admission is $10; $5 for children. Bob Devin Jones discusses “America’s First Civil Rights Martyr: Harry T. Moore” from 1:30-2:30 p.m. The Top Chef Extravaganza food tasting is held from 1-3 p.m.; two samples for $5. The 100 Youth Voices concert is held from 2:30-4:30 p.m. Advance tickets are $7; $10 at the door. Dr. Robert Cassanello speaks on “The Long History of Civil Rights Movement in Florida” from 4-5 p.m. The Anointed Gospel Talent Search is held from 6-8 p.m. Advance, senior and student tickets are $10; $15 at the door. Ella Joyce stars in “A Rose Among Thorns, a Tribute to Rosa Parks” at 3 p.m. on July 24. Advance tickets are $20; $25 at the door. 765-7372, 765-7373. stageaurora.org NORTH BEACHES ART WALK Galleries of Atlantic and Neptune beaches are open late, from 5-9 p.m., on July 21 and every third Thur. of each month at various venues from Sailfish Drive in Atlantic Beach to Neptune Beach and Town Center. For a list of participating galleries, call 249-2222. DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts & crafts and local produce are offered every Fri. from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Drive. 353-1188. RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET The Arts Market is held from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. every Sat. beneath the Fuller Warren Bridge on Riverside Avenue, Jacksonville and features local and regional artists, strolling performers, bands and a farmers market. Admission is free. 554-6865, 389-2449. riversideartsmarket.com

Florida Highwaymen artists R.L. Lewis and Carnell Smith appear along with Gary Monroe, author of “The Highwaymen: Florida’s African-American Artists,” at a book-signing and gallery showing from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. on July 23 at Avonlea Antique Mall, 8101 Philips Highway, Jacksonville. Monroe, instrumental in rediscovering the now-celebrated regional landscape painters, gives an informal lecture following the signing. 636-8785.

MUSEUMS AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY 233 S. Third St., Fernandina Beach, 261-7378. The exhibit “Fernandina Through Our Eyes,” featuring photography by local youths, is on display through Aug. BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY CENTER 413 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657. Diana Patterson’s “Acrylics and Old Photos” is on display through Aug. 2. CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., Jacksonville, 356-6857. Tony Rodrigues is the featured artist during the “Artist in Store” event from 6-8 p.m. on July 19. The Talks and Tea lecture series is held at 1:30 p.m. on July 20 and 21; the $6 fee includes museum admission. Drop-In Art, a weekly art class held from 5-6 p.m. on July 26, gives kids ages 4-10 the chance to explore the galleries and create their own art. Fee is $5 per child. “The Neighborhood as Art: Celebrating the Riverside Avondale Area” runs through July 31. The exhibit, “Ralph H. & Constance I. Wark Collection of Early Meissen Porcelain,” is displayed through Dec. 31. “On the Silk Road and the High Seas: Chinese Ceramics, Culture, and Commerce” is on display through Aug. 14. The restored Tudor Room gallery is open through Dec. 31. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Jacksonville, 356-2992. “Spiritualism,” featuring manuscripts of Harry Houdini’s and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s, is on display through Aug. 27. Overstreet Ducasse’s “Mixed Media” is on display through July 28. The permanent collection features a variety of rare manuscripts. Open Tue.-Fri., 10 a.m.-3 p.m.; Sat. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Jacksonville, 366-6911. Photographer Melanie Pullen’s exhibit “High Fashion Crime Scenes” is featured in Project Atrium through Nov. 6. The museum presents “Film and Family: An Intimate Evening for Howard Finster with special guest Beverly Finster-Guinn” at 7 p.m. on July 21. Christina West’s exhibit, “What a Doll: The Human Object as Toy,” runs through Aug. 28. “Stranger in Paradise: The Works of Reverend Howard Finster” runs through Aug. 28. Family Fun Free Day is held from noon-4 p.m. every Sun. Open Tue.-Sun. mocajacksonville.org RITZ THEATRE & MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., Jacksonville, 632-5555. An exhibit celebrating local African-American athletes and sports figures, “More Than a Game: African-American Sports in Jacksonville, 1900-1975,” is currently on display. “Lift Ev’ry Voice in LaVilla,” an exhibit of African-American history in Jacksonville, is on permanent display. Admission is $8 for adults, $5 for children, students and seniors. Open Tue.-Sun. ST. AUGUSTINE PIRATE AND TREASURE MUSEUM 12 S. Castillo Drive, St. Augustine, (877) 467-5863. The museum houses one of the largest collections of authentic

pirate-related artifacts in the world, including the 17th century treasure chest of Capt. Thomas Tew. ST. AUGUSTINE SCULPTURE GARDEN Lakeside Park, A1A South and 11th Street, St. Augustine, 829-0873. This park features public works of art by Thomas Glover, Marianne Lerbs and other area artists. ST. PHOTIOS NATIONAL SHRINE 41 St. George St., St. Augustine, 289-2805. An exhibit of Byzantine-style icons by Fernando Arango-Fernandez runs through Sept. 25.

GALLERIES ADELE GRAGE CULTURAL CENTER 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-5828. The opening reception for Heather and Holly Blanton’s exhibit “Peace and Textures” is held from 6-8 p.m. on July 21 during North Beaches Art Walk. The show runs July 19-Aug. 12. ANASTASIA BOOKS 81 C King St., St. Augustine, 827-0075. Ernest Lee is the featured artist for July. ANCHOR BOUTIQUE 210 St. George St., C2, St. Augustine, 808-7078. The ink illustrations and digital collages of Mai Ly Degnan are featured in July. THE ART CENTER COOPERATIVE GALLERY 31 W. Adams St., Jacksonville, 355-1757. Kenny Balser is the featured artist for July. AVONDALE ARTWORKS 3568 St. Johns Ave., Jacksonville, 384-8797. This gallery currently features works by more than 70 artists including Charlene Cross, Ted Head and Trace Turner. AVONLEA ANTIQUE MALL 8101 Philips Highway, Jacksonville. 636-8785. Florida Highwaymen artists R.L. Lewis and Carnell Smith and Gary Monroe, author of “The Highwaymen: Florida’s AfricanAmerican Artists” are featured at a book-signing and gallery showing from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. on July 23, followed by a lecture given by Monroe on the celebrated regional landscape painters. BEE GALLERY 2 Independent Dr., Ste. 108, Jacksonville, (727) 207-3013. The gallery features work by Brenda Kato, Heather Gabel, Pat Lally and Marty Moore through July. BETHEL GALLERY Ponte Vedra Presbyterian Church, 4510 Palm Valley Road, Ponte Vedra, 285-7241. The faith-based show “God’s Creation” features works inspired by the Book of Genesis through Aug. 7. BUTTERFIELD GARAGE ART GALLERY 137 King St., St. Augustine, 825-4577. The exhibit “Photographic Art,” by Glenn Hastings and Tom Tibbitts, is on display through July 28.

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CORSE GALLERY & ATELIER 4144 Herschel St., Jacksonville, 388-8205. Paintings by Kevin Beilfuss, Sherry O’Neill and Romel de la Torre are on display through July. THE CULTURAL CENTER AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-0614. The Kenyon Family Exhibition is on display through July 23. CYPRESS VILLAGE 4600 Middleton Park Circle E., Jacksonville, 223-6100. Acrylic artist Robert Gryb’s exhibit, “It’s a Wonderful World,” is on display through Sept. 9. ELEMENTAL GALLERY & STUDIO The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Ste. 110, 302-6102. Donna Grasso and Helen Cowart are featured through July. FABLIS BOUTIQUE 45 W. Adams St., Jacksonville, 359-0359. This gallery boutique features works by Sim Malden through Sept. 1. FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928. The exhibit “Birdsong Brothers,” featuring the latest works by Jeff and John Birdsong, is featured from 5-9 p.m. on July 21 during North Beaches Art Walk. GALLERY 725 725-5 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 345-9320. The opening reception for Tonsenia Yonn’s “Oceans of Dharma” is held from 6-9 p.m. on July 21. The show is on display through Aug. 17. GALLERY 1037 Reddi-Arts, 1037 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville, 398-3161. Works by the Hisshin Chapter of the Sumi-e Society as well as Washi doll-making by artist Yuki Shimizu are on display through Aug. HASKELL GALLERY Jax International Airport, 14201 Pecan Park Road, 741-3546. A collection of art kites by Melanie Walker and George Peters of Airworks Studios is displayed through June. Commissioned work by the two designers is shown in JIA’s Connector hallway. INDIGO ALLEY WINE BAR 316 Centre St., Fernandina Beach, 261-7222. Painter Brian Barnard is the featured artist through Aug. 31. JAXPORT GALLERY 2831 Talleyrand Ave., Jacksonville, 357-3052. “Painting with Light: The Missionary Diaries of Tom Baggs” runs through Aug. 26. MOON RIVER PIZZA 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., Jacksonville, 389-4442. New works by James Hance are on display through Aug. NEXT GALLERY 203 N. Laura St., Jacksonville, 707-0030. Artists Caroline Daley, Bruce Musser and Sharla Valeski exhibit their work in a footwear-themed show, “Shoe Fly Shoe,” on display through July. P.A.ST.A FINE ARTS GALLERY

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214 Charlotte St., St. Augustine, 824-0251. “Summer in St. Augustine” is displayed through July. PLANTATION ARTISTS’ GUILD & GALLERY 94 Amelia Village Circle, Fernandina Beach, 432-1750. The exhibit “Suddenly Spring” is on display through Aug. PLAYERS BY THE SEA 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach, 249-0289. A collection of ADDY award-winning art by Brunet-Garcia is on display in the theater lobby through Aug. 16. PLUM ART & DESIGN 9 Aviles St., St. Augustine, 825-0069. Recent works by Holly Draper, Thomas Brock and Patrick Gabriel are on display through Sept. ROTUNDA GALLERY St. Johns County Admin. Bldg., 500 San Sebastian View, St. Augustine, 471-9980. David Ouellette’s exhibit, “Fruits of Eden,” runs through Sept. 23. SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 100 N. Laura St., Jacksonville, 553-6361. The gallery presents its “Barrels & Bluegrass” fundraiser, featuring live music by local faves Grandpa’s Cough Medicine, from 5-9 p.m. on July 29. Proceeds benefit the St. Johns Riverkeeper. ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., St. Augustine, 824-2310. The second annual juried Judith Ryan Williams Nature & Wildlife Exhibit is on display through Aug. 28. STELLERS GALLERY AT PONTE VEDRA 240 A1A N., Ste. 13, Ponte Vedra Beach, 273-6065. Marry Garrish is the featured artist for July. STUDIO 121 121 W. Forsyth St., Ste. 100, Jacksonville. Sculptor Pablo Rivera is the featured artist for July. VAULT GALLERY 121 W. Forsyth St., Jacksonville, 535-7252. The group show, “Tomorrow is Now,” is displayed through July. W.B. TATTER STUDIO GALLERY 76 A San Marco Ave., St. Augustine, 823-9263. “A Flock of Artists Create an All-Chicken Show” opens from 5-9 p.m. on July 30. WILLIAMS-CORNELIUS GALLERY Daryl Bunn Studios, 643 Edison Ave., Jacksonville. 525-3368. Photographer Daryl J. Bunn’s exhibit, “Playing with Fire,” is on display through Aug. WOMEN’S CENTER OF JACKSONVILLE 5644 Colcord Ave., Jacksonville, 389-7749. The opening reception for the exhibit “Bright Ideas” is held from 6-8 p.m. on July 21. The show runs through Sept. 30. For a complete list of galleries, log on to folioweekly.com. To list your event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price and contact number to print to Dan Brown, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 or email dbrown@folioweekly.com. Events are included on a space-available basis.

The Taylor Roberts Trio performs at 9 p.m. on July 23 at Jazzland Café, 1324 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. A fixture on the local jazz scene, guitarist and educator Roberts (pictured) has performed with artists like Ray Callender, Bucky Pizzarelli and Jimmy Bruno, and has appeared at the Jacksonville Jazz Festival. 240-1009.

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EVENTS

call 356-8371 ext. 362. In Nassau County, a Consumer Law Clinic is offered at the Nassau County Courthouse in Yulee. A sign-up is required; call (904) 356-8371, ext. 307. jaxlegalaid.org JACKSONVILLE JOURNEY The oversight committee of this crime-fighting initiative meets at 4 p.m. on July 21 in Eighth Floor Conference Room 851, Ball Building, 214 N. Hogan St., Jacksonville. 630-1273.

SUNSET & WINE BOAT TRIP A happy hour cruise on the St. Johns River is held from 6:30-8 p.m. on July 22, to benefit the St. Johns Riverkeeper. Tickets are $20 per adult (must be 21 or older). Wine is included; feel free to bring snacks. Seating is limited so reservations are required; email Kelly@stjohnsriverkeeper.org or call 256-7613. stjohnsriverkeeper.org FREE FAMILY FUN DAY This event is held from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. on July 23 at Central Park, 1200 Atlantic Ave., Fernandina Beach. Inflatable waterslides, bounce houses, slip-and-slides and games are featured. Admission is free. 277-7350. INAUGURAL DUVAL BIKE SHOW The new motorcycle event is held from 3-9 p.m. on July 23 at Goliath K-9 Training Center, 1763 East Road, Jacksonville. Live music, food, contests and prizes are featured. Admission is free. 683-7340. A NIGHT TO REMEMBER The Web.com FC JAX Destroyers soccer team and Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals host this charity event at 7 p.m. on July 21 at Jacksonville University’s soccer stadium, 2800 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. The Destroyers take on Central Florida Kraze. A book drive is also held; bring new and like-new books that are child-friendly. jaxdestroyers.com CMNhospitals.org THE GREAT PIRATE PARTY This popular event is held at 9 p.m. on July 22 at participating downtown Jacksonville bars, restaurants and venues including Dive Bar, Burrito Gallery, LIT Downtown and Maverick’s Rock n’ Honky Tonk. Wear pirate costumes! 636-0303 ext. 230. Downtownjacksonville.org RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET J Collins, Saltwater Cowgirls and Kelty Shellhorn perform on July 23 at Riverside Arts Market, held under the Fuller Warren Bridge on Riverside Avenue, downtown. Local and regional artists, a water taxi and a farmers market from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. every Sat. Admission is free. 554-6865. riversideartsmarket.com CONCERTS IN THE PLAZA The Restless Kind play at 7 p.m. on July 21 under the oaks at Plaza de la Constitución, located between Cathedral Place and King Street, St. Augustine. The free concerts continue through Sept. 5. Bring lounge chairs. staugustinegovernment. com/sites/concerts-plaza MUSIC BY THE SEA The free concert series continues with Crabgrass from 7-9 p.m. on July 20 at the Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach. Each week, an area restaurant offers meals for less than $10. The series runs each Wed. through Sept. 28. 471-1686. staugbchcivicassoc.com COSMIC CONCERTS Laser shows are Laser Spirit at 5 p.m., The Beatles at 6 p.m., U2 at 7 p.m. and Led Zeppelin at 8 p.m. on July 22 in Bryan-Gooding Planetarium, at Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville. Online tickets are $5. 396-7062. moshplanetarium.org TAFFY PULL Sweet Pete’s celebrates its first anniversary with a taffy pull every hour from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. on July 23 at 1922 Pearl St., Jacksonville. 376-7161. sweetpete.net

SEA TURTLE WASHBACK PROGRAM St. Johns County needs volunteers for its 2011 Sea Turtle Washback Program. An orientation is held from 10 a.m.12:30 p.m. on July 23 at Anastasia Island Branch Library, 124 Seagrove Main Street, St. Augustine Beach. 209-0452. sjcfl.us/HCP BOWLING FOR RHINOS The 21st annual Bowling for Rhinos is held at 7 p.m. on July 22 at Batt Family Fun Center, 1838 Cassat Ave., Jacksonville. Registration is $15, which includes three games and shoe rental. Proceeds benefit African and Indonesian rhino sanctuaries. 757-4463. jacksonvillezoo.org KICK-OFF RIDE FOR BIKE MS Cyclists register at 6:30 a.m. on July 23 for the Kick-Off Ride at 7:30 a.m. at PGA Tour Headquarters, TPC Sawgrass, 100 PGA Tour Blvd., Ponte Vedra. Riders choose the 25 or 45 mile route; the $5 donations to ride benefit the National MS Society, North Florida Chapter. Register at bikefln.nationalmssociety.org or call 332-6810 or email floridaevents@nmss.org. The Cycle to the Shore ride is held Oct. 1 and 2. 285-3700. FUNDRAISING IMPROV SHOW This benefit show is held at 7:30 p.m. on July 21 at Junior League of Jacksonville, 2165 Park St., Jacksonville. Tickets are $8. Proceeds benefit the Family Nurturing Center of Florida. 252-7935. jljacksonville.org AGING IS NOT A DIRTY WORD This forum examines trends in the care of the aging client from 8-11:45 a.m. on July 20 at Shands Jacksonville Towers, Old Methodist Hospital, Eighth Street at Jefferson, 10th Floor banquet room, Jacksonville. Admission is free. 442-8051. AUDIO ANANDA Chief Nuka Chez performs reggae music at 6:30 p.m. on July 23 at Ananda Kula Yoga, 4154 Herschel St., Jacksonville. The celebration and ceremony honor one of the holiest days of the year for Rastafarians, the birthday of King Haile Selassie I. Admission is free. 680-7344. ENERGY EFFICIENCY EDUCATION SERIES St. Johns County holds workshops on how to save money and energy from 4-5 p.m. every Thur. at Wind Mitigation Bldg., University of Florida IFAS Extension, 3111 Ag Center Dr., St. Augustine. 827-6806. sjcfl.us TOILETRY DRIVE The annual toiletry drive is held through the summer at the Sulzbacher Center, 611 E. Adams St., Jacksonville. The center is in need of soap, shampoo, deodorant, body lotion, bug spray, sunscreen, toothpaste and toothbrushes, and lip balm. Volunteers are also needed to conduct toiletry drives at businesses and/or civic groups. 359-0457. sulzbachercenter.org

POLITICS & ACTIVISM

BOOKS & WRITING

LIBERTARIAN MEETING The Libertarian Party of Duval County gathers at 6:30 p.m. on July 21 at Golden Corral, 4250 Southside Blvd., Jacksonville. 404-9103. JCCI ISSUES & ANSWERS Jacksonville Community Council Inc. presents “Whose Road Is It Anyway?” a discussion about balancing safety and the rights of walkers, riders and drivers, from noon-1 p.m. on July 20 at JCCI Conference Room, 2434 Atlantic Blvd., Jacksonville. North Florida Regional Transportation Executive Director Jeff Sheffield and City Planning Department cycling expert James Reed are the featured speakers. Admission is free. RSVPs are required; go to http://community.jcci.org. LEGAL AID FREE CLINICS Jacksonville Area Legal Aid offers free clinics, with no appointment necessary, at 126 W. Adams St., Jacksonville. Topics are: Bankruptcy at 5 p.m. on the first Thur. each month; Consumer Rights at 5 p.m. on the first Wed. each month; Emancipation at 5 p.m. on the first Wed. each month; Child Support Modification at 5:30 p.m. on the second Thur. of each month; Dissolution of Marriage at 5:30 p.m. on the fourth Thur. of each month. Small Claims Court at 5:30 p.m. on the second Tue. of each month at Duval County Courthouse, 330 E. Bay St., Room 505, Jacksonville. The Foreclosure and Home Ownership clinic requires a sign-up,

ROMANCE AUTHORS Ancient City Romance Authors present Kellie Sharp, discussing “Backing Up Your Files,” at 12:30 p.m. on July 23 at Southeast Regional Library, 10599 Deerwood Park Blvd., Jacksonville. acrarwa.org ADULT SUMMER READING CONTEST St. Johns County Public Library System holds its second annual novel destinations contest through Aug. 5. Folks write reviews about books they’ve read for a chance to win prizes. Review forms can be picked up at any library branch or from the bookmobile. sjcpls.org FRIDAY 5 O’CLOCK WHISTLE TALKS Author Carol Lopez-Bradshaw (“Stories of Minorcan Heritage,” “Minorcan St. Augustine Cemeteries”) appears from 5-6:30 p.m. on July 22 at Beaches Museum & History Center, 380 Pablo Ave., Jax Beach. 241-5657.

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COMMUNITY INTEREST

COMEDY LATITUDE 30 COMEDY Ian Gutoskie appears with Jake McCrea at 8 p.m. on July 21, 22 and 23 at Latitude 30, 10370 Philips Highway, Southside. Tickets are $13. 365-5555. STEVE & KEVIN The Comedy Zone features All Stars at 8 p.m. on July 19 and

Happy Birthday: Sweet Pete’s candy store in Springfield celebrates its first anniversary with an old fashioned taffy pull every hour from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. on July 23 at 1922 Pearl St., Jacksonville. 376-7161.

20. The comedy team of Steve Lemme & Kevin Heffernan appears at 8 p.m. on July 21 and at 8 and 10 p.m. on July 22 and 23 at 3130 Hartley Road, Ramada Inn, Jacksonville. Tickets are $18-$25. 292-4242. JACKIE KNIGHT’S COMEDY CLUB Manny Olivera appears on July 22 and 23 at 3009 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd., St. Augustine. Tickets are $12. 461-8843.

UPCOMING ROAD TO GLOBAL CAGE FIGHTING 2 July 30, Morocco Shrine Auditorium WORLD BATON TWIRLING FEDERATION INTERNATIONAL CUP Aug. 4-7, Hyatt Regency Riverfront JAGUARS VS. FALCONS Aug. 19, EverBank Field FOLIO WEEKLY’S OKTOBERFEST Oct. 15 28TH ANNUAL CARING CHEFS Oct. 23, The Avenues Mall

NATURE, SPORTS, OUTDOORS BEACH HORSEBACK RIDING Country Carriages offer daily one-hour rides (weather and tides permitting) from Surfside Park on Vilano Beach. The cost is $75 per person. For reservations (a must) and more information, call 826-1982. NATIVE PLANT CLASS MEETS Columnist and naturalist Gail Compton discusses native hummingbird attractors, Renee Stambaugh, native plant consultant, offers landscaping tips, and Beverly Fleming, Florida Master Naturalist Instructor, discusses using natives for color from 2-4 p.m. on July 21 at SJC Windstorm Training Center, 3111 Agricultural Drive, St. Augustine. Admission is free. For reservations, call 209-0430. JAX SHARKS VS SPOKANE SHOCK The other local football team takes on the Northwesterners at 8 p.m. on July 22 at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., downtown. Tickets range from $10-$128. 621-0700. jaxsharks.com LOW TIDE BIKE RIDE The ride is held at 9 a.m. on July 23 at Anastasia State Park, 1340A A1A S., St. Augustine. The ride is free with paid park admission. 461-2035. floridastateparks.org WORLD GOLF HALL OF FAME The Slammer & Squire and King & Bear golf courses, located off I-95, exit 323, St. Augustine, are offering several special golf programs through August. Special twilight pricing will

also be available at both courses. For details and pricing, call 940-4123 or visit WorldGolfHallofFame.org. ROWING The Jacksonville Rowing Club offers adult and youth rowing programs; no experience or equipment is necessary. Monthly learn-to-row classes are offered. Coxswain training is also offered. 304-8500. jaxrow.org 92 AT THE ZOO When the temperature is predicted to be higher than 92 degrees, guests can get half-off admission with a coupon from jacksonvillezoo.org, through Aug. 31, at The Jacksonville Zoo, 370 Zoo Parkway, Jacksonville. If two of the three local weather authorities predict the weather to be a high of 92 degrees or more, a coupon is posted. JACKSONVILLE SUNS The 2010 Southern League Champs kick off a homestand against the Mississippi Braves at 7:05 p.m. on July 20 (Military Night), July 21 (Thursday Night Throwdown), July 22 (Family Fireworks), and July 23 (Roger Maris Plaque Giveaway), and at 3:05 p.m. on July 24 (Family Sundays) at the Baseball Grounds, 301 Randolph Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $7.50-$22.50. 358-2846. jaxsuns.com BARRIER ISLAND BIRDS A ranger discusses the various types of bird species that can be found across the natural communities of a barrier island at 2 p.m. on July 23 at the multi-use trail pavilion, south beach area on Little Talbot Island, 12157 Heckscher Drive, Jacksonville. Admission is free with regular park admission. 251-2320. floridastateparks.org/littletalbotisland SAVAGE ANCIENT SEAS This exhibit features fossils of marine animals from the collection of paleontologist Mike Triebold at Museum of Science and History, 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville. 396-7062. themosh.org BIKE RIDE ON THE BEACH This fundraiser is held at 5:45 p.m. on July 20 and every other Wed. departing from Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, ending back at the pier for the free concert. Proceeds benefit the Gratitude Leadership Program. 347-5301. gratitudetraining.com

BUSINESS AIFBY CHAMBER STORM WORKSHOP The Florida Small Business Development Center offers a workshop from 9-11 a.m. on July 19 at the Amelia IslandFernandina Beach-Yulee Chamber of Commerce, 961687 Gateway Blvd., Ste. 101G, Amelia Island. Cost is $10 for members, $15 for non-members. 620-2476. BUSINESS AFTER HOURS Amelia Island-Fernandina Beach-Yulee Chamber of Commerce gathers from 5-7 p.m. on July 21 at Wells Fargo, 1860 S. Eighth St., Fernandina Beach. Admission is $5 for

THE AddISON ON AmElIA ISlANd members, $25 for nonmembers. 277-1925. CHAMBER AT NOON LUNCHEON The Ponte Vedra Chamber of Commerce gets together at 11:30 a.m. on July 20 at the Ponte Vedra Inn & Club’s Lagoon Room, 200 Ponte Vedra Blvd., Ponte Vedra. Robert Tilka, senior manager of ticket sales and premium seating for the Jaguars, is the featured speaker. Admission is $25 for members with reservations; $30 for nonmembers and at-the-door. 285-2004. SOUTHSIDE BUSINESS MEN’S CLUB Bob McKenzie, Labor Employment Practices, is the featured speaker at noon on July 20 at San Jose Country Club, 7529 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville. Admission is $20. For reservations, call 396-5559. CHAMBER QUARTERLY LUNCHEON AIFBY Chamber holds its quarterly luncheon from 11:30 a.m.1 p.m. on July 26 at Golf Club of Amelia Island at Summer Beach, 4700 Amelia Island Parkway, Amelia Island. Nassau County School Superintendent Dr. John L. Ruis discusses “Paying for the Future: How Nassau County Public Schools are Funded.” Admission is $18 for members, $25 for nonmembers. Call 261-3248 or email info@aifby.com to make a reservation.

KIDS MAGIC SHOW The free magic show is held at 10:15 and 11:15 a.m. on July 22 at Ponte Vedra Branch Library, 101 Library Blvd., Ponte Vedra. 827-6950. CHOCOLATE DAY CAMP Chocolatiers ages 8 and older learn how to dip and decorate their own chocolate confections from 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. on July 19 at Peterbrooke Chocolatier, 1427 Sadler Road, Ste. 16, Fernandina Beach. Cost is $45 per person. Lunch and dessert are included. Campers need to wear a hat or have their hair pulled back. Camps are held July 19, 26 and 28 and Aug. 2. For reservations, call 277-0162. GARDENING WORKSHOP Workshops for kids are held on July 22 at Bartram Trail Branch Library, 60 Davis Pond Blvd., Fruit Cove, 827-6960; call for time. Additional workshops are held in August in St. Johns County; for a full schedule, go to sjcpls.org. FLIGHT EXPLORATION CAMP A private pilot ground school and flight exploration camp is held from 8:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. Mon.-Thur. through July 28 at Sterling Flight Training, 855 St. Johns Bluff Road N., Ste. 21, Jacksonville. For details and fees, call 642-9683. JAX ZOO National Zoo Keeper Week is celebrated through July 23. On July 19 and 21, a station is set up at the Zoo’s Main Camp from 9 a.m.-noon, where guests can create a thank-you card. All guests who create a card on-site are entered into a drawing to win a lunch with a zoo keeper that day. The drawing will be held at 12:30 p.m. and guests must be present to win. Winner receives a free lunch to enjoy with a zoo keeper. Rescued penguins are housed in the Tuxedo Coast exhibit, and endangered wood storks’ nests are alive with chicks this month. Open from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. daily. 757-4463. jacksonvillezoo.org TEEN FINANCIAL LITERACY The St. Johns County Public Library System and local organizations offer a free Teen Financial Literacy Series, held from 10 a.m.-3 p.m. on July 23 at Main Library, 1960 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd., St. Augustine, 827-6940; on July 30 at Anastasia Island Branch, 124 Seagrove Main St., St. Augustine Beach, 209-3730; on Aug. 6 at Hastings Branch, 6195 S. Main St., Hastings, 827-6970 and on Aug. 13 at Southeast Branch, 6670 U.S. 1 S., St. Augustine, 827-6900. Discussions include budgeting, saving, using credit and avoiding identity theft. Call the branch to register. sjcpls.org ABELLA’S SCHOOL OF DANCE The fundamentals of ballet, jazz tumbling, conditioning, choreography, and musical and dance history are offered at the school, 1765 Tree Blvd., St. Augustine. For details and a schedule, call 810-5670. PGA TOUR JR. SUMMER CAMPS Providing young people of all skill levels the opportunity to improve their game, the PGA TOUR Golf Academy’s annual Junior Camps are held through August at World Golf Village, St. Augustine. 940-3600. touracademy.com GIRLS INC. SPECIALTY CAMP Leadership and Community Action specialty camp is held from 8:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m. Mon.-Fri., through Aug. 5 at Riverside Baptist Church, 2650 Park St., Jacksonville. Three 2-week sessions focus on leadership skills and community involvement. 731-9933. girlsincjax.org ICE SKATING CAMPS & CLASSES Jacksonville Ice & Sportsplex, 3605 Philips Highway, Southside, offers Hockey Camp for ages 6-14, Summer Learn to Skate Camp for kids ages 6-14, and Figure

Skating Academy Level for ages 8-16. A lunch program and extended care are available. Public sessions are half-price while students are enrolled in Learn to Skate & Learn to Play Classes. 399-3223. For dates and prices, go to jaxiceandsportsplex.com P.A.L. SUMMER CAMP Police Athletic League summer camp is held from 7:30 a.m.5:30 p.m. Mon.-Fri. through July 29 at 3450 Monument Rd., Arlington and 2165 W. 33rd St., Northside. Indoor sports, life skills, JSO presentations and field trips for ages 6-14. Camp fee is $100 per child per week, with a $50 registration. Lunch is provided. 854-6555. jaxpal.com SUMMER EMPOWERMENT PROGRAM Why Not Me Campaign presents this program for teens 1419, through Aug. 17 at Edward Waters College, 1658 Kings Road, Jacksonville. Teens are supported through mentorship and empowered with access to information, meet twice a week for career building workshops and diverse career seminars. 371-9903. wnme.org AMELIA ARTS ACADEMY Camps and summer workshops for kids 4-11 from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. weekdays, through Aug. 12 at 516 S. 10th St., Fernandina Beach. Painting, storytelling, band, clay working, art, music. 277-1225. ameliaartsacademy.org

CLASSES & GROUPS FLORAL DESIGN CLASS This class is held from 2-4 p.m. on July 23 at Flowers by Shirley Page, 96110 Lofton Square Court, Ste. 300, Yulee. Cost is $35 per class. Includes training, flowers and an arrangement to take home. Call 261-3855 to reserve your spot. YOGA ON THE RIVER Karen Roumillat teaches gentle yoga on the fourth Sun. of each month. Sessions are free and are held on the boardwalk, at the Walter Jones Historical Park, 11964 Mandarin Road, beginning at 9 a.m. Bring a mat or blanket. karenroumillat.com ZUMBA FITNESS Classes are held from 7-8 p.m. every Mon. and Wed. at Landmark Middle School, 101 Kernan Blvd. N., Jacksonville. The fee for the 7-week session is $55. Proceeds support Duval County Schools. 349-4790. DEPRESSION/BI-POLAR SUPPORT ALLIANCE This support group meets every Thur. from 6-7:30 p.m. at Baptist Medical Center, 800 Prudential Drive, Jacksonville. For more information, call 616-6264. NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Do you have a drug problem? Maybe they can help. 3586262, 723-5683. serenitycoastna.org, firstcoastna.org NAR-A-NON This group meets at 8 p.m. every Tue. and Thur. at 4172 Shirley Ave., Avondale. 945-7168. BRAZILIAN JIU-JITSU Classes are open to men, women and children, beginning, intermediate and advanced, from 7-9 p.m. every Mon.-Thur., and from 10 a.m.-noon every Sat. at East Coast Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, 7035 Philips Highway, Ste. 7, Jacksonville. The first lesson is free. 554-7800. JAX JUGGLERS Future jugglers gather outside at local parks in the summertime; check the website for details. Admission is free. jaxjugglers.org HABITAT FOR HUMANITY RE-STORE The new store is located at 2745 Industry Center Road, Ste. 8, St. Augustine, just off S.R. 16, west of Four Mile Road. The store is packed with great bargains such as furniture, building materials, appliances and all kinds of household items. Proceeds benefit the building of decent, affordable homes for families in need in St. Johns County. Open from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. every Thur., Fri. and Sat. 829-6916. SCRABBLE CLUB This Jacksonville group gathers at 1 p.m. every Wed. at Golden Corral, 11470 San Jose Blvd., and every Thur. at Barnes & Noble, 11112 San Jose Blvd. For times, email curtlee59@aol.com. All levels are welcome. 733-1565. HUMANE SOCIETY VOLUNTEERS The St. Augustine Humane Society recruits and trains volunteers 17 or older for a variety of services including spay shuttle operations, fundraising and building renovations. The necessary forms are found at staughumane.org. 827-8817. YOGA AT THE GRANARY A yoga class is held at 10:30 a.m. every Thur. at The Granary, 1738 Kingsley Ave., Orange Park. Classes are $12 each. 264-5443. To list an event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price and contact number to events@ folioweekly.com or click the link in our Happenings section at folioweekly.com. Listings are included on a spaceavailable basis

The Addison is a disinctive historic property in the heart of Fernandina. The original 1870s antebellum house features sunny en-suite rooms, the majority overlooking a private fountain courtyard. Many have spacious whirlpools and several feature individual private porches. This intimate retreat caters to your every need, whether it be a gourmet breakfast, an individually prepared picnic or afternoon refreshment, or the simple luxury of allowing you to sit back, relax, and watch the world go by slowly on your own porch.

614 Ash Street • (904) 277-1604 www.addisononamelia.com

THE FAIRBANKS HOUSE

Elegant 1885 Italianate villa. Luxury-class inn with upscale amenities. Large rooms, suites, private cottages, Jacuzzis, fireplaces. Gourmet breakfast, evening social hour. Romance Packages, Girls Getaway. Smoke-free!

227 South 7th Street • (904) 277-0500 www.fairbankshouse.com

ElIZABETH POINTE lOdGE Oceanfront, charming rooms, soaking tubs, country breakfast, short bike ride to historic seaport. Porches, rockers and sitting by the fireplace. Treat yourself!

98 South Fletcher Avenue (904) 277-4851 www.elizabethpointelodge.com

AmElIA ISlANd WIllIAmS HOUSE

Beautiful antebellum Inn with spacious guest rooms boasting the modern amenities guests love while safekeeping the old world charm. Romantic working fireplaces, antiques from around the world, private baths, whirlpool tubs, spa robes and fresh flowers are a few of the luxuries you may expect. Enjoy our beautifully landscaped gardens, fountains and our sweeping verandahs. Feast on a delicious gourmet breakfast each morning and sip wine ‘neath 500-year-old oak trees. All your worries will drift away.

103 S. 9th Street • (904) 277-2328 www.williamshouse.com

HOYT HOUSE

Hoyt House Bed & Breakfast Inn, built in 1905, is an intimate, elegant and luxurious boutique hotel that will exceed your expectations with five-star amenities, top-shelf breakfast and exceptional customer service. We offer: • 10 En-Suite Guest Chambers • Located in the Historic District • 3-Course Gourmet Breakfast • English Tea Wed.-Sun. 12:30-3p.m. • Heated Pool & Spa • Amelia Lounge & Bar • Complimentary Bicycles • Complimentary Cocktail Hour • Secure off-street Parking • Weddings & Meetings Welcome

804 Atlantic Avenue • (904) 277-4300 www.hoythouse.com

Amelia Island is 13 miles of unspoiled beaches, quaint shops, antique treasures and superb dining in a 50-block historic district less than one hour north of Jacksonville.

JULY 19-25, 2011 | folio weekly | 35

Average Entrée Cost: $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer, Wine FB = Full Bar CM = Children’s Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast L = Lunch D = Dinner F = Folio Weekly distribution point Send changes to mdryden@folioweekly.com

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH, YULEE (In Fernandina Beach unless otherwise noted.) THE BEECH STREET GRILL Fine dining is offered in a casual atmosphere. The menu includes fresh local seafood, steaks and pasta dishes created with a variety of ethnic influences. Award-winning wine list. FB. L, Wed.-Fri.; D, nightly; Sun. brunch. 801 Beech St. 277-3662. $$$ BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ F At the foot of Centre Street, the upscale restaurant overlooks the Harbor Marina. The menu includes daily specials, fresh Florida seafood and an extensive wine list. FB. L & D, daily. 1 S. Front St. 261-2660. $$$ BRIGHT MORNINGS The small café offers freshly baked goods. B & L daily. 105 S. Third St. 491-1771. $$ CAFÉ 4750 An Italian kitchen and wine bar. Chef de Cuisine Garrett Gooch offers roasted sea bass, frutti di mare soup, clam linguini, panatela bruschetta and fresh gelatos. Dine indoors or on the terrace. FB. B, L & D, daily. 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., The Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island. 277-1100. $$$ CAFÉ KARIBO F Eclectic cuisine, served under the oaks in historic Fernandina, features sandwiches and chef’s specials. Alfresco dining. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sat.; L, Sun. & Mon. 27 N. Third St. 277-5269. $$ CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY F European-style breads, pastries, croissants, muffins and pies baked daily. 1014 Atlantic Ave. 491-4663. $ EIGHT Contemporary sports lounge offers burgers, sandwiches, wings and nachos. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Fri. & Sat. The Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island, 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., Amelia Island. 277-1100. $$ ESPAÑA RESTAURANT & TAPAS Traditional Spanish and Portuguese dishes, tapas and paella served in a cozy atmosphere. BW, CM. D nightly. 22 S. Fourth St. 261-7700. $$$ FERNANDELI F Classics with a Southern touch, like a onethird-pound devil dog, Reubens and pulled pork. Sandwiches and wraps built to order from fresh cold cuts, tuna, egg and turkey salads. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 17B S. Eighth St. 261-0008. $ GENERAL STORE F This store has a little bit of everything. Breakfast includes hot rope sausage, lunch features the Redneck Reuben. Deli meats, cheeses, chicken, fish, pizzas and pasta, too. BW. B, L & D, daily. 520 Centre St. 310-6080. $ GENNARO’S RISTORANTE ITALIANO F Southern Italian cuisine: pasta, gourmet ravioli, hand-tossed pizzas. Specialties are margharita pizza and shrimp feast. Bread is baked on-site. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 5 S. Second St., 261-9400. 5472 First Coast Highway, Amelia Island, 491-1999. $$ HAPPY TOMATO COURTYARD CAFE & BBQ Pulled pork sandwich, chicken salad and walnut chocolate chunk cookie, served in a laid-back atmosphere. BW. CM. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 7 S. Third St. 321-0707. $$ JACK & DIANE’S F Casual cafe offers steak & eggs, pancakes, Cajun scampi, etouffée, curry pizza, vegan black bean cakes, shrimp & grits, hand-carved steaks. FB. B, L & D, daily. 708 Centre St. 321-1444. $$ JOE’S 2ND STREET BISTRO Elegant island atmosphere. NY strip steak with sauces, Maine crab cakes, seafood fricassee and roast chicken penne pasta. BW. CM. D, nightly. 14 S. Second St. 321-2558. $$$ KABUKI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR F Teppanyaki masters create your meal; plus a 37-item sushi bar. BW. D, Tue.-Sun. Amelia Plaza. 277-8782. $$ KELLEY’S COURTYARD CAFE F She crab soup, salads, fried green tomatoes, sandwiches and wraps are served indoors or out on the patio. Vegetarian dishes are also offered. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 19 S. Third St. 432-8213. $ LULU’S AT THE THOMPSON HOUSE F An innovative lunch menu includes po’boys, salads and seafood “little plates” served in a historic house. Dinner features fresh local seafood (Fernandina shrimp every Thur.); nightly specials. BW. L & D, Tue.-Sat., brunch on Sun. Reservations recommended. 11 S. Seventh St. 432-8394. $$ MONTEGO BAY COFFEE CAFE Locally owned and operated, serving specialty coffees, fruit smoothies. Dine in or hit the drive-thru. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 463363 S.R. 200, Yulee. 225-3600. $ MOON RIVER PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Northernstyle pizza by the pie or the slice. Choose from more than 20 toppings. Owner-selected wines and a large beer selection. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 925 S. 14th St. 321-3400. $ THE MUSTARD SEED CAFE Organic eatery and juice bar. Extensive, eclectic menu featuring vegetarian and vegan items. Daily specials: local seafood, free-range chicken and fresh organic produce. Wraps, sandwiches, soups. CM. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 833 T.J. Courson Rd. 277-3141. $$

36 | folio weekly | JULY 19-25, 2011

O’KANE’S IRISH PUB F Rustic, genuine Irish pub up front, eatery in back, featuring daily specials, fish-n-chips, and soups served in a sourdough bread bowl. FB. L & D, Mon.Sun. 318 Centre St. 261-1000. $$ PEPPER’S MEXICAN GRILL & CANTINA F The family restaurant offers authentic Mexican cuisine. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 520 Centre St. 272-2011. $$ PICANTE GRILL ROTISSERIE BAR Picante offers flavors of Peru and Latin America, served in a contemporary atmosphere. The menu includes authentic Peruvian cebiche and homestyle empanadas. BW, CM, TO. B, L & D daily. 464073 S.R. 200, Ste. 2, Yulee. 310-9222. $$ PLAE In Spa & Shops at Omni Amelia Island Plantation, the cozy venue offers an innovative and PLAEful dining experience. D, nightly. 277-2132. $$$ SALT, THE GRILL Best of Jax 2010 winner. Elegant dining featuring local seafood and produce, served in a contemporary coastal setting. FB. D, Tue.-Sat. 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., The Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island. 491-6746. $$$$ SANDOLLAR RESTAURANT & MARINA F Dine inside or on the deck. Snow crab legs, fresh fish, shellfish dishes. FB. L & D, daily. 9716 Heckscher Dr., Ft. George Island. 251-2449. $$ SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL F Oceanfront dining; local seafood, shrimp, crab cakes, outdoor beachfront tiki & raw bar, covered deck and kids’ playground. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1998 S. Fletcher Ave. 277-6652. $$ SNAPPER’S BAR & SEAFOOD GRILL This new Amelia Island restaurant offers traditional bar-and-grill fare, including tacos, wraps, sandwiches, soups and burgers, as well as fish, shellfish and steaks. L & D, daily. FB, CM. 960062 Gateway Blvd. 491-6888. $$ THE SURF F Dine inside or on large oceanview deck. Steaks, fresh fish, shrimp and nightly specials. Late-night menu. FB. L & D, daily. 3199 S. Fletcher Ave. 261-5711. $$ T-RAY’S BURGER STATION F A favorite local spot; Best of Jax 2010 winner. Grilled or blackened fish sandwiches, homemade burgers. BW, TO. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 202 S. Eighth St. 261-6310. $ 29 SOUTH EATS F Part of historic Fernandina Beach’s downtown scene. Award-winning Chef Scotty serves traditional world cuisine with a modern twist. L, Tue.-Sat.; D, Mon.-Sat.; Sun. brunch. 29 S. Third St. 277-7919. $$

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

EAST COAST BUFFET F A 160+ item Chinese, Japanese, American and Italian buffet. Dine in, take out. FB. L & D, Mon.Sat.; Sun. brunch. 9569 Regency Sq. Blvd. N. 726-9888. $$ GENE’S SEAFOOD F Serving fresh Mayport shrimp, fish, oysters, scallops, gator tail, steaks and combos. L & D, daily. 6132 Merrill Rd. 744-2333. $$ KABUTO JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR F Steak & shrimp, filet mignon & lobster, shrimp & scallops, a sushi bar, teppanyaki grill and traditional Japanese cuisine. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 10055 Atlantic Blvd. 724-8883. $$$ LA NOPALERA Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Intracoastal. 8818 Atlantic Blvd. 720-0106. MEEHAN’S TAVERN F This Irish pub and restaurant serves beef and Guinness stew, Philly cheesesteak sandwiches, traditional lamb stew and jalapeño poppers, made fresh onsite, in a comfy atmosphere. Wifi, HDTVs, non-smoking. BW. L & D, Wed.-Sun. 9119 Merrill Rd., Ste. 5. 551-7076. $$ NERO’S CAFE F Nero’s serves traditional Italian fare, including seafood, veal, beef, chicken and pasta dishes. Weekly specials are lasagna, 2-for-1 pizza and AYCE spaghetti. CM, FB. L, Sun.; D, daily. 3607 University Blvd. N. 743-3141. $$ ORANGE TREE HOT DOGS F The menu includes hot dogs with slaw, chili cheese, sauerkraut; and small pizzas. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9501 Arlington Expwy., Regency Sq. 721-3595. (orangetreehotdogs.com) $ PITA EXPRESS Philly, chicken fajita, falafel, chicken Caesar salad and eggplant parmigiana pitas, plus omelets and pancakes. CM. B, L & D, daily. 2754 Trollie Lane. 674-2637. $ REGENCY ALE HOUSE & RAW BAR Generous portions and friendly service in a nautical atmosphere. Fresh fish, specialty pastas, fresh oysters and clams. BW. L & D, daily. 9541 Regency Square Blvd. S. 720-0551. $$ TREY’S DELI & GRILL F Fresh food served in a relaxed atmosphere. Burgers, Trey’s Reuben, deli sandwiches, pork, steaks, seafood, pies. Prime rib specials every Fri. night. CM, BW. L & D, Mon.-Fri. 2044 Rogero Rd. 744-3690. $$ UNIVERSITY DINER F The popular diner serves familiar breakfast fare and lunch items like meatloaf, burgers, sandwiches: wraps, BLTs, clubs, melts. Daily specials. BW. B & L, Sat. & Sun.; B, L & D, Mon.-Fri. 5959 Merrill Rd. 762-3433. $

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

BISCOTTIS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Mozzarella bruschetta, Avondale pizza, sandwiches, espresso, cappuccino. Revolving daily specials. B, Tue.-Sun.; L & D, daily. 3556 St. Johns Ave. 387-2060. $$$ THE BLUE FISH RESTAURANT & OYSTER BAR Fresh seafood, steaks and more are served in a casual atmosphere. Half-

Walter Coker

DINING GUIDE KEY

Belly up to the bar and choose from over 100 brews, or feast on gastropub fare like soups, salads, sandwiches and flatbreads, at Engine 15 on Beach Boulevard in Jacksonville Beach. portions are available. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 3551 St. Johns Ave., Shoppes of Avondale. 387-0700. $$$ BRICK RESTAURANT F Creative all-American fare like tuna tartare, seaweed salad and Kobe burger. Outside dining. FB. L & D, daily. 3585 St. Johns Ave. 387-0606. $$$ THE CASBAH F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Middle Eastern cuisine is served in a friendly atmosphere. BW. L & D, daily. 3628 St. Johns Ave. 981-9966. $$ ESPETO BRAZILIAN STEAK HOUSE F Gauchos carve the meat onto your plate from serving tables. FB. D, Tue.-Sun., closed Mon. 4000 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 40. 388-4884. $$$ THE FOX RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The Fox has been a Jacksonville landmark for 50-plus years. Owners Ian & Mary Chase serve classic diner-style fare, homemade desserts. B & L daily. 3580 St. Johns Ave. 387-2669. $ MOJO NO. 4 F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 3572 St. Johns Ave. 381-6670. $$ ORSAY Best of Jax 2010 winner. The French/American bistro focuses on craftsmanship and service. FB. D, Tues.-Sat.; Brunch & D, Sun. 3630 Park St. 381-0909. $$$ RUAN THAI F The elegant Avondale restaurant offers authentic Thai cuisine, including curries and pad dishes. CM, FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 3951 St. Johns Ave. 384-6665. $$$ TOM & BETTY’S F A Jacksonville tradition for more than 30 years, Tom & Betty’s serves hefty sandwiches with classic car themes, along with homemade-style dishes. CM, FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4409 Roosevelt Blvd. 387-3311. $$ ’town F Owner Meghan Purcell and Executive Chef Scott Ostrander bring farm-to-table to Northeast Florida, offering American fare with an emphasis on sustainability. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 3611 St. Johns Ave. 345-2596. $$

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 8060 Philips Hwy. 731-4300. $ BROADWAY RISTORANTE & PIZZERIA F Family-ownedand-operated New York-style pizzeria serves hand-tossed, brick-oven-baked pizza, and traditional Italian dinners, wings, subs. Dine-in or delivered. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 10920 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 3. 519-8000. $$ CAFE CONFLUENCE F This European coffeehouse serves Italian specialty coffees and smoothies, along with paninis, salads and European chocolates. Outdoor dining. BW. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 8612 Baymeadows Rd. 733-7840. $ CHA-CHA’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT F Owner Celso Alvarado offers authentic Mexican fare with 26 combo dinners and specialty dishes including chalupas, enchiladas, burritos. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9551 Baymeadows Rd. 737-9903. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F Chicago-style deepdish pizzas, hot dogs, Italian beef dishes from the Comastro family, serving authentic Windy City favorites for 25+ years. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 8206 Philips Hwy. 731-9797. $$ DEERWOOD DELI & DINER F The ’50s-style diner serves malts, shakes, Reubens, Cubans, burgers, and traditional breakfast items. CM. B & L, daily. 9934 Old Baymeadows Rd. 641-4877. $$ THE FIFTH ELEMENT F The first four elements are earth, water, air and fire — but here they prepare authentic Indian, South Indian and Indochinese dishes with artistic flair. Lunch buffet includes lamb, goat, chicken, tandoori and biryani items. CM. L & D, daily. 9485 Baymeadows Rd. 448-8265. $$ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F See Orange Park. 8650 Baymeadows Rd. 448-0500. $$

INDIA RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Extensive menu of entrées, clay-oven grilled Tandoori specialties and chicken tandoor, fish, seafood and korma. L, Mon.-Sat., D, daily. 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8. 620-0777. $$ LARRY’S GIANT SUBS F With locations all over Northeast Florida, Larry’s piles subs up with fresh fixins and serves ’em fast. Some Larry’s Subs offer B & W and/or serve breakfast. CM. L & D, daily. 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9 (Goodby’s Creek), 737-7740; 8616 Baymeadows Rd. 739-2498. larryssubs.com $ LEMONGRASS F Upscale Thai cuisine in a metropolitan atmosphere. Chef Aphayasane’s innovative creations include roast duckling and fried snapper. BW. R. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.Sat. 9846 Old Baymeadows Rd. 645-9911. $$ MANDALOUN MEDITERRANEAN CUISINE F This Lebanese restaurant offers authentic Mediterranean cuisine: lahm meshwe, kafta khoshkhas and baked filet of red snapper. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9862 Old Baymeadows Rd. 646-1881. $$ MAYURI INDIAN CUISINE F Traditional Indian items include tandoori specials, South Indian, Indo-Chinese, vegetarian, biryani and thali style dishes. BW. L & D. 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 10. 448-5999. $$ NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The organic supermarket offers a full deli and a hot bar with fresh soups, quesadillas, rotisserie chicken and vegan sushi, as well as a fresh juice and smoothie bar. 11030 Baymeadows Rd. 260-2791. $ OMAHA STEAKHOUSE Center-cut beef, fresh seafood and sandwiches served in an English tavern atmosphere. The signature dish is a 16-ounce bone-in ribeye. Desserts include crème brûlée. FB. L & D, daily. 9300 Baymeadows Rd., Embassy Suites Hotel. 739-6633. $$ PATTAYA THAI GRILLE F Traditional Thai and vegetarian items and a 40-plus item vegetarian menu served in a contemporary atmosphere. B/W. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1. 646-9506. $$ PIZZA PALACE F See San Marco. 3928 Baymeadows Rd. 527-8649. $$ STICKY FINGERS F Memphis-style rib house specializes in barbecue ribs served several ways. FB. L & D, daily. 8129 Point Meadows Way. 493-7427. $$ VINO’S PIZZA See Julington. L & D, daily. 9910 Old Baymeadows Rd. 641-7171. $

BEACHES

(In Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.) A LA CARTE Authentic New England fare like Maine lobster rolls, fried Ipswich clams, crab or clam cake sandwich, fried shrimp basket, haddock sandwich, clam chowdah, birch beer and blueberry soda. Dine inside or on the deck. TO. L, Fri.-Tue. 331 First Ave. N. 241-2005. $$ AL’S PIZZA F Serving hand-tossed gourmet pizzas, calzones and Italian entrees for more than 21 years. Voted Best Pizza by Folio Weekly readers from 1996-2010. BW. L & D, daily. 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 249-0002. $ ANGIE’S SUBS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Subs are madeto-order fresh. Serious casual. Wicked good iced tea. 1436 Beach Blvd. 246-2519. $ BEACH BUDS CHICKEN F This cozy, family-owned place serves marinated fried or baked chicken: family meals (kids like Peruvian nuggets), giant tenders, in box lunches and as Mini-Me sandwiches, along with gizzards, livers, 15 sides and fried or blackened shrimp, fish, conch fritters, deviled crabs.

Advertising proof TO. L & D, daily. 1289 Penman Road. 247-2828. $ BEACHSIDE SEAFOOD RESTAURANT & MARKET F The full fresh seafood market serves seafood baskets, fish tacos, oyster baskets and Philly cheesesteaks. Dine indoors or outside. Beach delivery. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 120 S. Third St. 444-8862. $$ BLUES ROCK CAFE This blues rock venue offers an oceanfront dining experience, featuring an all-American menu, including crab cakes and wings, served in a relaxed atmosphere in the heart of the Beaches. L & D, daily. CM, FB. 831 N. First St. 249-0007. $$ BONGIORNO’S PHILLY STEAK SHOP F South Philly’s Bongiorno clan imports Amoroso rolls for Real Deal cheesesteak, Original Gobbler, clubs, wraps, burgers and dogs. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2294 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach. 246-3278. $$ BONO’S PIT BAR-B-Q F Baby back ribs, fried corn, sweet potatoes. BW. L & D, daily. 1307 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 270-2666. 1266 S. Third St. 249-8704. bonosbarbq.com $ THE BRASSERIE & BAR French/European-style bistro and bar offers coq au vin, French onion soup, fritto misto, Moroccan-style lamb shank. FB. D, Tue.-Sun. 1312 Beach Blvd. 249-5800. $$$ BUDDHA’S BELLY F Authentic Thai dishes made with fresh ingredients using tried-and-true recipes. FB, TO. L & D, daily. 301 10th Ave. N. 712-4444. $$ CAMPECHE BAY CANTINA F Homemade-style Mexican items are fajitas, enchiladas and fried ice cream, plus margaritas. FB. D, nightly. 127 First Ave. N. 249-3322. $$ CARIBBEE KEY F Best of Jax 2010 winner. AmerCaribbean cuisine includes seafood, steaks and sandwiches. Open-air deck bar upstairs; outdoor dining downstairs. FB. L & D, daily. 100 N. First St., Neptune Beach. 270-8940. $$ CASA MARIA See Springfield. 2429 S. Third St. 372-9000. CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. 320 N. First St. 270-8565. $$ COPPER TOP SOUTHERN AMERICAN CUISINE F (Formerly The Homestead) The menu features Southern favorites like fried chicken, collards, biscuits and cornbread, as well as fresh seafood, steaks, burgers and chops, served in a family atmosphere inside a cozy log cabin. CM, FB. Sunday brunch; L & D, Tue.-Sun. 1712 Beach Blvd. 249-4776. $$ CRAB CAKE FACTORY JAX F Chef Kahn Vongdara presents an innovative menu of seafood dishes and seasonal favorites. FB. L & D daily. The Factory’s Ashley Hayek is a 2010 Best of Jax winner for Best Bartender. 1396 Beach Blvd., Beach Plaza. 247-9880. $$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2010 winner, serving burgers, sandwiches, nachos, tacos, quesadillas and cheese fries. 319 23rd Ave. S. 270-0356. $ CULHANE’S IRISH PUB Four Culhane sisters own and operate the authentic Irish pub, featuring Guy Fieri’s (“Diners, DriveIns & Dives”) fave items — Guinness stew, lamb sliders and fish pie. L, Fri.-Sun.; D, Tue.-Sun.; weekend brunch. FB, CM. 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 249-9595. $$ DICK’S WINGS F This NASCAR-themed place serves 365 varieties of wings. The menu also features half-pound burgers, ribs and salads. BW, TO. L & D daily. 2010 Best of Jax winner for Best Chicken Wings. 2434 Mayport Road, Atlantic Beach, 372-0298. 311 N. Third St., 853-5004. $ DWIGHT’S The Mediterranean-style bistro features fresh local seafood, filet mignon, mixed grill and an extensive wine list. D, Tue.-Sat. 1527 Penman Rd. 241-4496. $$$$ ENGINE 15 BREWING COMPANY F This Jax Beach restaurant serves gastropub fare like soups, salads, flatbreads and specialty sandwiches, including BarBe-Cuban and beer dip. Daily specials, too. CM, BW. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217. 249-2337. $ EUROPEAN STREET F See San Marco. 992 Beach Blvd. 249-3001. $ FIONN MACCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT Casual dining with uptown Irish flair, including fish and chips, Guinness beef stew and black-and-tan brownies. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 333 N. First St. 242-9499. $$ THE FISH COMPANY F Fresh, local seafood is served, including Mayport shrimp, fish baskets, grilled tuna and an oyster bar. L & D, daily. CM, FB. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 12, Atlantic Beach. 246-0123. $$ HALA SANDWICH SHOP & BAKERY Authentic Middle Eastern favorites include gyros, shwarma, pita bread, made fresh daily. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 1451 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 249-2212. $$ HOT DOG HUT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. All-beef hot dogs, sausages, hamburgers, crab cakes, beer-battered onion rings and French fries. B. L, daily. 1439 Third St. S. 247-8886. $ ICHIBAN F Three dining areas: teppan or hibachi tables (watch a chef prepare your food), a sushi bar and Westernstyle seating offering tempura and teriyaki. FB, Japanese plum wine. L & D, daily. 675 N. Third St. 247-4688. $$ LYNCH’S IRISH PUB Best of Jax 2010 winner. The full-service restaurant offers corned beef and cabbage, Shepherd’s pie and fish-n-chips. 30+ beers on tap. FB. L, Sat. & Sun., D, daily. 514 N. First St. 249-5181. $$ MEZZA LUNA RISTORANTE F A Beaches tradition for 20+ years. Favorites are Szechuan ahi tuna, lasagna Bolognese and wood-fired pizza. Inside or patio. Extensive wine list. CM, FB. D, Mon.-Sat. 110 First St., Neptune Beach. 249-5573. $$$

MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT & BLUES BAR F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Traditional slow-cooked Southern barbecue served in a blues bar atmosphere. Favorites are pulled pork, Texas brisket and slow-cooked ribs. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1500 Beach Blvd. 247-6636. $$ MONKEY’S UNCLE TAVERN F For 25 years, Monkey’s has served pub grub, burgers, sandwiches, seafood and wings. Dine inside or out on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. 1850 S. Third promise of benefit St. 246-1070. $ NORTH BEACH BISTRO Casual dining with an elegant touch, like slow-cooked veal osso buco; calypso crusted mahi mahi with spiced plantain chips. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach. 372-4105. $$$ OCEAN 60 Best of Jax 2010 winner. A prix fixe menu is offered. Continental cuisine, with fresh seafood, nightly specials and a changing seasonal menu. Dine in a formal dining room or casual Martini Room. D, Mon.-Sat. 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 247-0060. $$$ PACO’S MEXICAN GRILL Serving Baja-style Mexican cuisine, featuring carne asada, tacos, burritos, fish tacos and shrimp burritos. CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 333 First St. N. 208-5097. $ PARSONS SEAFOOD RESTAURANT F The family-style restaurant has an outdoor patio and an extensive menu, including the mariner’s platter and the Original Dreamboat. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 904 Sixth Ave. S. 249-0608. $$ THE PIER RESTAURANT This brand-new oceanfront restaurant offers fresh, local fare served on two floors — upstairs, it’s Chef’s Menu, with stuffed flounder, pork tenderloin and appetizers. The downstairs bar and patio offer casual lunch and dinner items and daily drink specials. CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 445 Eighth Ave. N. 246-6454. $$ PHILLY’S FINEST F Authentic Philly-style cheesesteaks are made with imported Amorosa rolls. Hoagies, wings and pizza ... cold beer, too. FB. L & D, daily. 1527 N. Third St. 241-7188. $$ RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD GRILL F The Beaches landmark serves grilled seafood with a Cajun/Creole accent. Hand-crafted cold beer. FB. L & D, daily. 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 241-7877. $$ promise of benefit SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK An array of specialty menu items, including signature tuna poke bowl, fresh rolled sushi, Ensenada tacos and local fried shrimp, in a casual, trendy open-air space. FB, TO, CM. L & D, daily. 1018 Third St. N. 372-4456. $$ SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE F Best of Jax 2010 winner. 111 Beach Blvd. 482-1000. $$ SUN DOG STEAK & SEAFOOD F Eclectic American fare, art deco décor with an authentic diner feel. FB. L & D, daily; Sun. brunch. 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 241-8221. $$ TACOLU BAJA MEXICANA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Fresh, Baja-style Mexican fare, with a focus on fish tacos and tequila, as well as fried cheese, bangin’ shrimp and verde chicken tacos. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 1183 Beach Blvd. 249-8226. $$ THAI ROOM RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Dine in an intimate setting as Chef Thepsouvanh prepares Thai cuisine like crispy duck or pan-seared Chilean sea bass. BW. L, Mon.-Fri. D, Mon.-Sat. 1286 S. Third St. 249-8444. $$$ TWO DUDES SEAFOOD PLACE F Up-to-the-minute-fresh Mayport seafood, like shrimp, scallops, snapper and oysters in sandwiches or baskets, grilled, blackened or fried. B, TO. L & D daily. 22 Seminole Rd., Atlantic Beach. 246-2000. $ THE WINE BAR The casual neighborhood place has a tapas-style menu, fire-baked flatbreads and a wine selection. Tue.-Sun. 320 N. First St. 372-0211. $$

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DOWNTOWN

(The Jacksonville Landing venues are at 2 Independent Drive) ADAMS STREET DELI & GRILL The lunch spot serves wraps, including grilled chicken, and salads, including Greek salad. L, Mon.-Fri. 126 W. Adams St. 475-1400. $$ BURRITO GALLERY & BAR F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Southwest cuisine, traditional American salads. Burritos and more burritos. Onsite art gallery. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 21 E. Adams St. 598-2922. $ CAFÉ NOLA AT MOCA JAX On the first floor of Museum of Contemporary Art, Cafe Nola serves shrimp and grits, gourmet sandwiches, fresh fish tacos, homemade desserts. FB. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Thur. 333 N. Laura St. 366-6911 ext. 231. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. The Jacksonville Landing. 354-7747. $$$ CITY HALL PUB A sports bar vibe: 16 big-screen HDTVs. Angus burgers, dogs, sandwiches, AYCE wings buffet. FB. Free downtown area lunch delivery. L & D, daily. 234 Randolph Blvd. 356-6750. $$ DE REAL TING CAFE F The popular restaurant offers a Caribbean lunch buffet Tue.-Fri. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 128 W. Adams St. 633-9738. $ INDOCHINE Serving Thai and Southeast Asian cuisine in the core of downtown. Signature dishes include favorites like chicken Satay, soft shell crab, and mango and sticky rice for dessert. BW, FB, TO. L, Mon.-Fri., D, Tue.-Sat. 21 E. Adams St. 598-5303. $$ JENKINS QUALITY BARBECUE Family-owned-and-operated. Jenkins offers beef, pork, chicken, homemade desserts. L & D, daily. 830 N. Pearl St. 353-6388. $

JULY 19-25, 2011 | folio weekly | 37

FolioW

JULIETTE’S & J-BAR Serving dinner before (or dessert after) a show. Breakfast buffet. J-Bar serves bistro-inspired small plates. FB. Daily. Omni Hotel, 245 W. Water St. 355-6664. $$$ KOJA SUSHI F Sushi, Japanese, Asian and Korean cuisine. Indoor and outdoor dining and bar. FB. L & D, daily. The Jacksonville Landing. 350-9911. $$ THE SKYLINE DINING & CONFERENCE CENTER Weekday lunch includes salad bar, hot meals and a carving station. L, Mon.-Fri.; L, Sun. upon request. FB. 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 3550. 791-9797. $$ ZODIAC GRILL F Serving Mediterranean cuisine and American favorites, with a popular lunch buffet. BW. B & L, daily. 120 W. Adams St. 354-8283. $

FLEMING ISLAND

CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. 406 Old Hard Road, Ste. 106. 213-7779. $$ GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET F See Riverside. B, L & D, Mon.-Sat.; L, Sun. 1915 East West Pkwy., 541-0009. $ HONEY B’S CAFE Breakfast includes omelets, pancakes, French toast. Lunch offers entrée salads, quiches, build-yourown burgers. Peanut butter pie is a favorite. Tea parties every Sat. B & L, daily. 3535 U.S. 17, Ste. 8. 264-7325. $$ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Intracoastal. 1571 C.R. 220, Ste. 100. 215-2223. $ MOJO SMOKEHOUSE F Best of Jax 2010 winner. FB. L & D, daily. 1810 Town Ctr. Blvd. 264-0636. $$ WHITEY’S FISH CAMP F The renowned seafood place, family-owned since 1963, specializes in AYCE freshwater catfish. Also steaks, pastas. Outdoor waterfront dining. Come by car, boat or bike. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 2032 C.R. 220. 269-4198. $

INTRACOASTAL

AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 14286 Beach Blvd. (at San Pablo Rd.) 223-0991. $ BRUCCI’S PIZZA, PASTA, PANINIS F Brucci’s offers authentic New York-style pizza, Italian pastas and desserts in a family atmosphere. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 36. 223-6913. $ CLIFF’S ROCKIN’ BAR-N-GRILL F Cliff’s features 8-ounce burgers, wings, steak, seafood, homemade pizza and daily specials. FB. L & D, daily. Smoking permitted. 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, Cobblestone Plaza. 645-5162. $$ ISTANBUL MEDITERRANEAN & ITALIAN CUISINE F A varied menu offers European cuisine including lamb, beef and chicken dishes, as well as pizza and wraps. BW. L & D, daily. 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 26. 220-9192. $$ JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE & STEAKHOUSE F The menu includes wings, hamburgers, Ahi tuna and handcut steaks. CM, FB. Daily. 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 22. 220-6766. $ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Family-ownedand-operated, serving authentic Mexican cuisine, like tamales, fajitas, pork tacos, in a casual family atmosphere. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 14333 Beach Blvd. 992-1666. $ MILANO’S RESTAURANT & PIZZERIA Homemade Italian cuisine, breads, pizzas, calzones and specialty dishes. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 12620 Beach Blvd., Ste. 4. 646-9119. $$ TIME OUT SPORTS GRILL F Wings, gourmet pizza, fresh

GRILL ME! A WEEKLY Q&A WITH PEOPLE IN THE RESTAURANT BIZ

seafood and specialty wraps. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Sat. & Sun. 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5. 223-6999. $$ TKO’S THAI HUT F The menu offers Thai fusion dishes, curry dishes, chef’s specials, healthy options and sushi. Dine inside or on the covered patio. FB. L & D, daily. 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 46. 647-7546. $$ ZAITOON MEDITERRANEAN GRILL Traditional Mediterranean family recipes blend in Spanish, French, Italian and Middle Eastern inspired dishes. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 13475 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 40, Harbour Village. 221-7066. $$

JULINGTON, NW ST. JOHNS

BLACKSTONE GRILLE The menu blends flavors from a variety of cultures and influences for modern American fusion cuisine, served in a bistro-style setting. FB. L & D, Mon.-Fri., D, Sat.; Sun. brunch. 112 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 102. 287-0766. $$$ BRUCCI’S PIZZA F See Intracoastal. 540 S.R. 13, Ste. 10, Fruit Cove. 287-8317. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA BAKERY & PUB F Transforms from family restaurant to pub serving Chicago-style deep dish pizza. CM, FB. D, Tue.-Fri., L & D, Sat. & Sun. 107 Nature Walk Pkwy., Ste. 101, 230-9700. $$ HAPPY OURS SPORTS GRILLE F Wings, big salads, burgers, wraps and sandwiches. Sports events on HDTVs. CM, FB. 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101. 683-1964. $ PIZZA PALACE F See San Marco. 116 Bartram Oaks Walk. 230-2171. $ VINO’S PIZZA Vino’s Pizza — with four Jacksonville locations — makes all their Italian and American dishes with fresh ingredients. L & D, daily. 605 S.R. 13, Ste. 103. 230-6966. $

MANDARIN

AL’S PIZZA Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 11190 San Jose Blvd. 260-4115. $ AW SHUCKS F This seafood place features an oyster bar, steaks, seafood, wings and pasta. Favorites are ahi tuna, shrimp & grits, oysters Rockefeller, pitas and kabobs. Sweet potato puffs are the signature side. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9743 Old St. Augustine Rd. 240-0368. $$ THE BLUE CRAB CRABHOUSE F A Maryland-style crabhouse featuring fresh blue crabs, garlic crabs, and king, snow and Dungeness crab legs. FB, CM. D, Tue.-Sat.; L & D, Sun. 3057 Julington Creek Rd. 260-2722. $$ BROOKLYN PIZZA F The traditional pizzeria serves New York-style pizza, specialty pies, and subs, strombolis and calzones. BW. L & D, daily. 11406 San Jose Blvd. 288-9211. 13820 St. Augustine Rd. 880-0020. $ CASA MARIA F See Springfield. L & D, daily. 14965 Old St. Augustine Rd. 619-8186. $$ CLARK’S FISH CAMP F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Clark’s has steak, ribs, AYCE catfish dinners, 3-pound prime rib. Dine in, out or in a creek-view glass-enclosed room. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Sat. & Sun. 12903 Hood Landing Rd. 268-3474. $$ DON JUAN’S RESTAURANT F Authentic Mexican dishes prepared daily from scratch, served in a casual atmosphere. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 12373 San Jose Blvd. 268-8722. $$ GIGI’S RESTAURANT Breakfast buffet daily, lunch buffet

NAME: Paweena Jones RESTAURANT: Thai Garden Restaurant, 10 Blanding Blvd., Ste. B, Orange Park BIRTHPLACE: Thailand YEARS IN THE BUSINESS: 6 FAVORITE RESTAURANT (other than my own): Clark’s Fish Camp FAVORITE COOKING STYLE: Traditional Thai and fusion. FAVORITE INGREDIENTS: Fresh herbs. IDEAL MEAL: Papaya salad, stir-fried vegetables with garlic sauce and jasmine rice. WOULDN’T EAT IF YOU PAID ME: Salmon’s eggs. MOST MEMORABLE RESTAURANT EXPERIENCE: Every day is an adventure when you’re working in a restaurant.

Walter Coker

INSIDER’S SECRET: Any special occasion is always worth mentioning when you’re dining out.

38 | folio weekly | JULY 19-25, 2011

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: Vijay Singh, Rocco Mediate, Mark Brunell CULINARY GUILTY PLEASURE: Chocolate.

weekdays. The Comedy Zone (Best of Jax 2010 winner) has an appetizer menu. FB. B, L & D, daily. I-295 & San Jose Blvd. (Ramada Inn). 268-8080. $$ (Fri. & Sat. buffet, $$$) HALA CAFE & BAKERY F See Southside. 9735 Old St. Augustine Rd. 288-8890. $$ HARMONIOUS MONKS This American-style steakhouse features a 9-oz. choice Angus center-cut filet topped with gorgonzola shiitake mushroom cream sauce, as well as 8-oz. gourmet burgers, fall-off-the-bone ribs, wraps and sandwiches. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 30. 880-3040. $$ KOBE JAPANESE RESTAURANT The fusion-style sushi restaurant offers oyster shooters, kobe beef shabu-shabu, Chilean sea bass and filet mignon. BW & sake. L & D, daily. 11362 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 8. 288-7999. $$ LET’S NOSH F The authentic Jewish deli offers a full breakfast, lunch, brunch and full-service deli counter. Real New York water bagels, bread baked on site and desserts. CM. B & L, daily. 9850 San Jose Blvd. 683-8346. $ MAMA FU’S ASIAN HOUSE MSG-free pan-Asian cuisine prepared to order in woks using fresh ingredients. Authentic Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese and Thai dishes. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 11105 San Jose Blvd. 260-1727. $$ MANDARIN ALE HOUSE Laid-back atmosphere; 30-plus beers on tap. FB. L & D, daily. 11112 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 19. 292-0003. $$ METRO DINER F See San Marco. 12807 San Jose Blvd. 638-6185. $$ NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Organic supermarket with full deli and salad bar serving wraps, quesadillas, chopped salads, vegetarian dishes. Fresh juice and smoothie bar. Indoor and outdoor seating. Mon.-Sat. 10000 San Jose Blvd. 260-6950. $ PICASSO’S PIZZERIA F Specializes in hand-tossed gourmet pizza, calzones, homemade New York-style cheesecake and handmade pasta. Fresh local seafood and steaks. BW, CM, TO. L & D daily. 10503 San Jose Blvd. 880-0811. $$ VINO’S PIZZA See Julington. L & D, daily. 4268 Oldfield Crossing Dr. 268-6660. $ WHOLE FOODS MARKET F 100+ prepared items at a fullservice and self-service hot bar, soup bar, dessert bar. Madeto-order Italian specialties from a brick oven pizza hearth. L & D, daily. 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 22. 288-1100. $$

ORANGE PARK

ARON’S PIZZA F This family-owned restaurant offers eggplant dishes, manicotti and New York-style pizza. BW, CM, TO. L & D daily. 650 Park Ave. 269-1007. $$ BLU TAVERN F This restaurant has an upscale feel with a casual atmosphere. Favorites include bread pudding and Orange Park salad. Blu also serves pasta dishes, burgers, seafood, pork, beef and steaks. CM, FB. L & D, daily; B, Sat. & Sun. only. 1635 Wells Rd. 644-7731. $$ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F For 18-plus years, the sports-themed family restaurant has served wings, ribs, entrees, sandwiches. FB. L & D, daily. 9680 Argyle Forest Blvd. 425-6466. $$ THE HILLTOP CLUB She-crab soup, scallops, prime beef, wagyu beef, chicken Florentine, stuffed grouper. Chef Nick’s salmon is a favorite. FB. D, Tue.-Sat. 2030 Wells Rd. 272-5959. $$ JOEY MOZARELLAS This Italian restaurant’s specialty is a 24-slice pizza: 18”x26” of fresh ingredients and sauces made daily. CM, TO. L & D, daily. 930 Blanding Blvd. 579-4748. $$ PASTA MARKET & CLAM BAR F This family-owned-andoperated restaurant offers gourmet pizzas, veal, chicken, mussels, shrimp, grouper and (of course) pastas: spaghetti, fettucine, lasagna, ziti, calzones, linguini, tortolini, ravioli, all made with fresh ingredients, homemade-style. Daily specials. CM, BW, sangria. 1930 Kingsley Ave. 276-9551. D, nightly. $$ POMPEII COAL-FIRED PIZZA F Pizzas are baked in coal-fired ovens. Popular pizzas include Health Choice and Mozzarella. Coal-fired sandwiches and wings, too. BW. L & D, daily. 2134 Park Ave. 264-6116. $$ THE ROADHOUSE F Burgers, wings, deli sandwiches and popular lunches are served. FB. L & D, daily. 231 Blanding Blvd. 264-0611. $ THAI GARDEN F Traditional Thai cuisine made with fresh ingredients, served in a relaxed atmosphere. Curry dishes and specialty selections with authentic Thai flavors. BW. L, Mon.Fri.; D, nightly. 10 Blanding Blvd., Ste. A. 272-8434. $$

PONTE VEDRA, NE ST. JOHNS AL’S PIZZA F Homemade breads, pizza, white pizza, calzones and Italian entrees. Voted Best Pizza in Jax by Folio Weekly readers from 1996-2010. BW. L & D, daily. 635 A1A. 543-1494. $ AQUA GRILL Upscale cuisine includes fresh seafood, Angus steaks, Maine lobster and vegetarian dishes. Outdoor patio seating. FB. L, Mon.-Sat.; D, nightly. 950 Sawgrass Village Dr. 285-3017. $$$

BRUCCI’S PIZZA F Authentic New York-style pizza, Italian pastas, paninis, desserts. Family atmosphere. CM. L & D, daily. 880 A1A, Ste. 8. 280-7677. $$ CAFFE ANDIAMO Traditional Italian cuisine features fresh seafood, veal, homemade pastas and wood-fired pizza prepared in a copper clad oven. An extensive wine list is offered in a cosmopolitan atmosphere. Dine indoors or Out on the terrace. L & D, daily. 500 Sawgrass Village. 280-2299. $$$ LULU’S WATERFRONT GRILLE F On the Intracoastal Waterway, LuLu’s can be reached by car or by boat. Seafood, steaks and pasta dishes with a sophisticated flair. FB. L & D, daily; Sun. brunch. 301 N. Roscoe Blvd. 285-0139. $$ NINETEEN AT TPC SAWGRASS In Sawgrass’ Tournament Players Club, Nineteen features more than 230 wines and freshly prepared American and Continental cuisine, including local seafood, served inside or al fresco on the verandah. L & D, daily. 110 Championship Way. 273-3235. $$$ PUSSER’S BAR & GRILLE F Freshly prepared Caribbean cuisine, including red snapper Ponte Vedra Jamaican grilled pork ribs and barbecued salmon tower. Tropical rum drinks feature Pusser’s Painkiller. FB. L & D, daily. 816 A1A N., Ste. 100. 280-7766. L, $$; D, $$ RESTAURANT MEDURE Chef Matthew Medure offers his eclectic cuisine featuring local and imported seafood with Southern and Asian influences. F/B. D, Mon.-Sat. 818 A1A N. 543-3797. $$$ RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE Best of Jax 2010 winner. See San Marco. 8141 A1A. 285-0014. $$$$ SIMPLE FAIRE F Breakfast and lunch favorites, featuring Boar’s Head meats and cheeses served on fresh bread. Daily specials. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 3020 Hartley Rd. 683-2542. $$ 619 OCEAN VIEW Dining with a Mediterranean touch, featuring fresh seafood, steaks and nightly specials. FB, CM. D, Wed.-Sun. 619 Ponte Vedra Blvd., Cabana Beach Club. 285-6198. $$$ URBAN FLATS Ancient world-style flatbread is paired with fresh regional and seasonal ingredients in wraps, flatwiches and entrées, served in a casual, urban atmosphere. An international wine list is offered. FB. L & D, daily. 330 A1A N. 280-5515. $$

RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE AJ’S ON PARK STREET AJ’s is a casual barbecue spot serving smoked St. Louis-style ribs, pulled pork, smoked brisket, seafood and dishes made with a Latin touch. L & D, Mon.-Fri. 630 Park St. 359-0035. $$ AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 1620 Margaret St. 388-8384. $ BAKERY MODERNE F The neighborhood bakery offers classic pastries, artisanal breads, seasonal favorites, all made from scratch, including popular petit fours and custom cakes. B & L, daily. 869 Stockton St., Ste. 6, Riverside. 389-7117. $ CARMINE’S PIE HOUSE The Italian eatery serves pizza by the slice, gourmet pizzas, appetizers, classic Italian dishes — calzone, stromboli, subs, panini — wings, and microbrews in a casual atmosphere. BW, CM, TO. 2677 Forbes St. 387-1400. $$ COOL MOOSE F Classic sandwiches, eclectic wraps and desserts. An extensive gourmet coffee menu with Green Mountain coffees and frozen coffee drinks. B & L, daily. Brunch, Sun. 2708 Park St. 381-4242. $ CROSS CREEK See Springfield. 850 S. Lane Ave. 783-9579. $$ EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ F See San Marco. 2753 Park St. 384-9999. $ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F See Orange Park. 6677 103rd St., Westside, 777-6135. $$ GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET F A deli, organic and natural grocery, and juice & smoothie bar offers teas, coffees, gourmet cheeses; natural, organic and raw items. Grab-andgo sandwiches, salads and sides. Craft beers, organic wines. B, L & D, Mon.-Sat.; L, Sun. 2007 Park St. 384-4474. $ HJ’S BAR & GRILL Traditional American fare: burgers, sandwiches, wraps and platters of ribs, shrimp and fish. CM, FB. L & D, Sat. & Sun., D, Mon.-Fri. 8540 Argyle Forest Blvd., Ste. 1. 317-2783. $$ HOVAN MEDITERRANEAN GOURMET F Dine inside or on the patio. Mediterranean entrées include lamb, and beef gyros. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 2005-1 Park St. 381-9394. $ JACKSONS GRILL The locally owned spot’s original menu has fried pickle chips, Rockin’ Ranch burgers, gumbo, sandwiches. BW, TO. B, L & D, daily. 1522 King St. 384-8984. $$ JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILL F A Riverside tradition, serving 60+ fresh deli and grill items, including hot sandwiches. L, Mon.-Fri. 474 Riverside Ave. 356-8055. $ MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BBQ Smoked meats include wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey and ribs. Homemade-style sides include green beans, baked beans, red cole slaw, collards. BW, CM. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551. $$ MOON RIVER PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Amelia Island. 1176 Edgewood Ave. S. 389-4442. $ MOSSFIRE GRILL F Southwestern menu with ahi tuna tacos,

Walter Coker

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The Floridian serves a creative menu of local food from local farmers and fishermen, on Cordova Street in downtown St. Augustine.

goat cheese enchiladas and gouda quesadillas. Dine inside or on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. 1537 Margaret St. 355-4434. $$ O’BROTHERS IRISH PUB F Innovative Irish fare and traditional faves are offered, like lambburger with Stilton crust, Guinness mac & cheese, Shepherd’s pie and fish-n-chips — plus 18 beers on tap. L, daily except Mon.; D, daily. CM, FB. 1521 Margaret St. 854-9300. $$ PERARD’S PIZZA & ITALIAN CUISINE F Traditional Italian fare is prepared with fresh sauces and dough made from scratch daily, along with a large selection of gourmet pizza toppings. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 11043 Crystal Springs Rd., Ste. 2. 378-8131. $ PERFECT RACK BILLIARDS F Upscale billiards hall has burgers, steak, deli sandwiches, wings. Family-friendly, non-smoking. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 1186 Edgewood Ave. S., Murray Hill. 738-7645. $ PIZZA PALACE ON THE PARK F See San Marco. Outdoor seating. 920 Margaret St., 5 Points. 598-1212. $$ SAKE HOUSE F Japanese grill and sushi bar features sushi, sashimi, katsu, tempura, hibachi and specialty rolls. CM, BW, sake. L & D, daily. 824 Lomax St. 301-1188. $$ SUMO SUSHI F Authentic Japanese fare, traditional to entrees and sushi rolls, spicy sashimi salad, gyoza (pork dumpling), tobiko (flying fish roe), Rainbow roll (tuna, salmon, yellowtail, Calif. roll). BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2726 Park St. 388-8838. $$ TWO DOORS DOWN F Former Tad’s owner offers traditional faves: hotcakes, omelets, burgers, pork chops, liver & onions, fried chicken, sides and desserts. CM, TO. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 436 Park St. 598-0032. $ WALKERS This nightspot has a tapas menu plus a wide variety of wines, served in a rustic, intimate atmosphere. BW. Tue.-Sat. 2692 Post St. 894-7465. $ WASABI JAPANESE BUFFET F AYCE buffet. Sushi bar, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, tempura, steak, seafood. BW. L & D, daily. 1014 Margaret St., Ste. 1, 5 Points. 301-1199. $$

ST. AUGUSTINE

A1A ALE WORKS F The Ancient City’s only brew pub taps seven hand-crafted ales and lagers. A1A specializes in innovative New World cuisine. FB. L & D, daily. 1 King St. 829-2977. $$ AMICI ITALIAN RESTAURANT F A family-owned-andoperated Italian restaurant offers traditional pasta, veal, steak and seafood dishes. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1915B A1A S., St. Augustine Beach. 461-0102. $$ ANN O’MALLEY’S F Fresh handmade sandwiches, soups, salads and perfectly poured Guinness. Favorites include Reubens and chicken salad. CM, BW, Irish beers on tap. L & D, daily. 23 Orange St. 825-4040. $$ BARNACLE BILL’S BEACHSIDE, BARNACLE BILL’S DOWNTOWN F For 30 years, these family restaurants have served seafood, oysters, gator tail, steak, and popular fried shrimp. FB, CM, TO. Downtown location, L & D daily; beach location, D nightly. 451 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 471-2434. 14 Castillo Drive, 824-3663. $$ THE BLACK MOLLY BAR & GRILL Fresh, local seafood, steaks and pasta dishes in a casual atmosphere. FB, CM. L & D daily. 504 Geoffrey St., Cobblestone Plaza. 547-2723. $$

BORRILLO’S PIZZA & SUBS F Specialty pizzas are Borrillo’s Supreme (extra cheese, pepperoni, sausage), white and vegetarian pizzas. Subs and pasta dinners. L & D, daily. 88 San Marco Ave. 829-1133. $ CAFÉ ATLANTICO Traditional and new Italian dishes served in an intimate space. Master Chef Paolo Pece prepares risotto alla pescatora, with shrimp, scallops and seasonal shellfish, in a parmesan cheese basket. BW. D, nightly. 647 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach. 471-7332. $$$ CAFÉ ELEVEN F Serving eclectic cuisine like feta spinach egg croissant, apple turkey sandwich, pear-berry salad. Daily chef creations. BW. B, L & D, daily. 501 A1A Beach Blvd. 460-9311. B, $; L & D, $$ CAP’S ON THE WATER F This Vilano Beach mainstay offers coastal cuisine — tapas platters, cioppino, fresh local shrimp, raw oyster bar — indoors or on an oak-shaded deck. Boat access. FB. L, Fri.-Sun., D, nightly. 4325 Myrtle St., Vilano Beach. 824-8794. $$ CARMELO’S PIZZERIA F Authentic New York style brickoven-baked pizza, fresh baked sub rolls, Boars Head meats and cheeses, fresh salads, calzones, strombolis and sliced pizza specials. BW. L & D, daily. 146 King St. 494-6658. $$ CELLAR 6 ART GALLERY & WINE BAR Wolfgang Puck coffees, handmade desserts and light bistro-style fare amid local art. BW. Mon.-Sat. 6 Aviles St. 827-9055. $$ CREEKSIDE DINERY Creekside serves beef, chicken and seafood, with an emphasis on low-country cooking. Outdoor deck with a fire pit. FB. D, nightly. 160 Nix Boatyard Rd. 829-6113. $$ THE FLORIDIAN The downtown restaurant serves innovative Southern fare, made with local farmers’ local food. Signature items: fried green tomato bruschetta, ’N’grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. L & D, Wed.-Mon. 39 Cordova St. 829-0655. $$ GYPSY CAB COMPANY F Best of Jax 2010 winner. International menu features large portions, reasonable prices. FB. L & D, daily. 828 Anastasia Blvd. 824-8244. $$ HARRY’S SEAFOOD BAR & GRILLE F In a historic, two-story house, the New Orleans-style eatery has fresh seafood, steaks, jambalaya, etouffée and shrimp. FB. L & D, daily. 46 Avenida Menendez. 824-7765. $$ KINGFISH GRILL At Vilano Bridge’s west end, Kingfish Grill offers casual waterside dining indoors and on the deck, featuring fresh daily catch, house specialties and sushi. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 252 Yacht Club Drive. 824-2111. $$ KINGS HEAD BRITISH PUB F Authentic Brit pub serves fish & chips, Cornish pastie and steak & kidney pie. Tap beers are Guinness, Newcastle and Bass. BW. L & D, Wed.-Sun. 6460 U.S. 1 (4 miles N. of St. Augustine Airport.) 823-9787. $$ THE MANATEE CAFÉ F Serving healthful cuisine using organically grown fruits, vegetables, grains and legumes. B & L, daily. 525 S.R. 16, Ste. 106, Westgate Plaza. 826-0210. $ MANGO MANGO’S BEACHSIDE BAR & GRILL F Caribbean kitchen has comfort food with a tropical twist: coconut shrimp and fried plantains. BW, CM. Outdoor dining. 700 A1A Beach Blvd., (A Street access) St. Augustine Beach. 461-1077. $$ MILL TOP TAVERN F A St. Auggie institution housed in an 1884 building, serving nachos, soups, sandwiches and daily specials. Dine inside or on open-air decks. At the big mill wheel. FB. L & D, daily. 19 1/2 St. George St. 829-2329. $$ OASIS RESTAURANT & DECK F Just a block from the ocean, with a tropical atmosphere and open-air deck. Steamed

JULY 19-25, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 39

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oysters, crab legs, burgers. CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 4000 A1A & Ocean Trace Rd., St. Augustine Beach. 471-3424. $ PURPLE OLIVE INTERNATIONAL BISTRO F Family-ownedand-operated, offering specials, fresh artisan breads. Soups, salad dressings and desserts made from scratch. BW. D, Tue.Sat. 4255 A1A S., Ste. 6, St. Augustine Beach. 461-1250. $$ RAINTREE Located in a Victorian home, Raintree offers a menu with contemporary and traditional international influences. Extensive wine list. FB. D, daily. 102 San Marco Ave. 824-7211. $$$ THE REEF RESTAURANT Casual oceanfront restaurant has an ocean view from every table. Fresh local seafood, steak, pasta dishes and daily chef specials. Outdoor dining. FB, CM, TO. L & D daily. 4100 Coastal Hwy. A1A, Vilano Beach. 824-8008. $$ SCARLETT O’HARA’S Best of Jax 2010 winner. Serving Southern fare, barbecue and seafood. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 70 Hypolita St. 824-6535. $$ SOUTH BEACH GRILL Located off A1A, south of the S.R. 206 bridge, this two-story beachy destination offers casual oceanfront dining and fresh local seafood. Dine indoors or out on a beachfront deck. FB. B, L & D daily. 45 Cubbedge Road, Crescent Beach. 471-8700. $ SUNSET GRILLE Casual Key West style and a seafood-heavy menu — it’s a consistent Great Chowder Debate winner. Specialties include baby back ribs, lobster ravioli, coconut shrimp and datil pepper wings with bleu cheese dressing. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 421 A1A Beach Blvd. 471-5555. $$$ ZHANRAS F Art-themed tapas-style place has small plate items in a casual, contemporary space. Entrée portions available. CM, FB. D, daily; Sun. brunch. 108 Anastasia Blvd. 823-3367. $$

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER,

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BlackFinn offers classic American fare: beef, seafood, pasta, Sales Rep rl chicken, flatbread sandwiches. Dine indoors or on the patio. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 4840 Big Island Dr. 345-3466. $$ FIVE GUYS BURGERS & FRIES Best of Jax 2010 winner. 13249 City Square Dr. 751-9711. 9039 Southside Blvd., 538-9100. 4413 Town Center Pkwy., Ste. 401. 996-6900. fiveguys.com $ THE FLAME BROILER Serving food with no transfat, MSG, frying, or skin on meat. Fresh veggies, steamed brown or white rice along with grilled beef, chicken and Korean short ribs are featured. CM, TO. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9822 Tapestry Park Circle, Ste. 103. 619-2786. $ THE GRAPE BISTRO & WINE BAR F More than 145 wines, along with a tapas menu of gourmet fare to pair with the wine list. A wide selection of beer is also served. L & D, daily. 10281 Midtown Parkway, Ste. 119. 642-7111. $$ ISLAND GIRL WINE & CIGAR BAR F Upscale tropical vibe. Walk-in humidor, pairing apps and desserts with 25 wines, ports by the glass. 220+ wines by the bottle; draft, bottled beer. L & D, daily. 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115. 854-6060. $$ JOHNNY ANGELS F The menu reflects its ’50s-style décor, including Blueberry Hill pancakes, Fats Domino omelet, Elvis special combo platter. Shakes, malts. B, L & D, daily. 3546 St.

FolioWeekly

Johns Bluff Rd. S., Ste. 120. 997-9850. $ LIBRETTO’S PIZZERIA & ITALIAN KITCHEN F Authentic NYC pizzeria serves Big Apple crust, cheese and sauce, along with third-generation family-style Italian classics, fresh-fromthe-oven calzones, and desserts in a casual, comfy setting. L & D, daily. 4880 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1. 402-8888. $$ LIME LEAF F Authentic Thai cuisine: fresh papaya salad, pad Thai, mango sweet rice. BW. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.-Sat. 9822 Tapestry Park Cir., Stes. 108 & 109. 645-8568. $$ MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Tossed spring water dough, lean meats, veggies and vegetarian choices make up specialty pizzas, hoagies and calzones. FB. L & D, daily. 9734 Deer Lake Court (at Tinseltown). 997-1955. $ mellowmushroom.com MITCHELL’S FISH MARKET F Featuring seafood, an everchanging menu of more than 180 items includes cedarroasted Atlantic salmon and seared salt-and-pepper tuna. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 5205 Big Island Dr., St. Johns Town Ctr. 645-3474. $$$ THE ORIGINAL PANCAKE HOUSE The recipes, unique to the Pancake House, call for only the freshest ingredients. CM. B, L & D, daily. 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr. 997-6088. $$ OTAKI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE F Family-owned steakhouse has an open sushi bar, hibachi grill tables and an open kitchen. Dine indoor or out. FB, CM, TO. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, nightly. 7860 Gate Parkway, Stes. 119-122. 854-0485. $$$ POMPEII COAL-FIRED PIZZA F See Orange Park. 7860 Gate Parkway. 253-3314. $$ RENNA’S PIZZA F Renna’s serves up New York-style pizza, calzones, subs and lasagna made from authentic Italian recipes. Delivery, CM, BW. 4624 Town Crossing Dr., Ste. 125, St. Johns Town Center. 565-1299. rennaspizza.com $$ SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY F Innovative menu of fresh local grilled seafood, sesame tuna, grouper Oscar, chicken, steak and pizza. Microbrewed ales and lagers. FB. L & D, daily. 9735 Gate Pkwy. N. 997-1999. $$ SOUTHSIDE ALE HOUSE F Steaks, fresh seafood, sandwiches and desserts. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9711 Deer Lake Court. 565-2882. $$ STEAMERS CAFE F Steamers’ menu has all-natural and organic items, including wraps, sandwiches, subs, soups, steamer bowls, smoothies and fresh juices. Daily lunch specials. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4320 Deerwood Lake Parkway, Ste. 106. 646-4527. $ SUITE The St. Johns Town Center premium lounge and restaurant offers chef-driven small plates and an extensive list of specialty cocktails, served in a sophisticated atmosphere. FB. D & late-nite, nightly. 4880 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1. 493-9305. $$ TAVERNA YAMAS This Greek restaurant serves char-broiled kabobs, seafood and traditional Greek wines and desserts. FB. L & D daily. 9753 Deer Lake Court. 854-0426. $$ URBAN FLATS F See Ponte Vedra. CM. FB. L & D, daily. 9726 Touchton Road. 642-1488. $$ WASABI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Authentic Japanese cuisine, teppanyaki shows and a full sushi menu. CM. L & D, daily. 10206 River Coast Dr. 997-6528. $$ WHISKY RIVER F Best of Jax 2010 winner. At St. Johns Town Center’s Plaza, Whisky River features wings, pizza,

WINE LISTINGS ANJO LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Thur. 9928 Old Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1, 646-2656 AROMAS CIGAR & WINE BAR Best of Jax 2010 winner. Call for schedule. 4372 Southside Blvd., 928-0515 BLUE BAMBOO 5:30-7:30 p.m., every first Thur. 3820 Southside Blvd., 646-1478 COPPER TOP SOUTHERN AMERICAN CUISINE Wine Down 6-8 p.m. every Wed. 1712 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 249-4776 THE GIFTED CORK Tastings daily. 64 Hypolita St., St. Augustine, 810-1083 THE GRAPE 5-7:30 p.m. every Wed.; 1-4 p.m. every Sat. 10281 Midtown Pkwy., Ste. 119, SJTC, 642-7111 THE GROTTO 6-8 p.m. every Thur. 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726 MONKEY’S UNCLE LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Fri. 1850 S. Third St., Jax Beach, 246-1070 NORTH BEACH BISTRO 6-8 p.m. every Tue. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 OCEAN 60 6-8 p.m every Mon. 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060 PASTA MARKET & CLAM BAR 4-6 p.m. every Tue. 1930 Kingsley Ave., Orange Park, 276-9551 PUSSERS CARIBBEAN GRILL 6 p.m., every second Fri. 816 A1A N., Ste. 100, Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-7766

40 | folio weekly | JULY 19-25, 2011

RIVERSIDE LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Fri. 1035 Park St., Five Points, 356-4517 THE TASTING ROOM 6-8 p.m. every first Tue. 25 Cuna St., St. Augustine, 810-2400 TASTE OF WINE Daily. 363 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 9, Atlantic Beach, 246-5080 III FORKS PRIME STEAKHOUSE 5-6:30 p.m. every Mon. 9822 Tapestry Circle, Ste. 111, St. Johns Town Center, 928-9277 TOTAL WINE & MORE Noon-6 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. 4413 Town Center Pkwy., Ste. 300, 998-1740 URBAN FLATS 5-8 p.m. every Wed. 330 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-5515 WHOLE FOODS MARKET 6 p.m. every Thur. 10601 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 288-1100 THE WINE BAR 6-8 p.m. every Thur. 320 First St. N., Jax Beach, 372-0211 WINE WAREHOUSE 4-7 p.m. every Fri. 665 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 246-6450 4434 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 448-6782 1188 Edgewood Ave. S., Riverside, 389-9997 4085 A1A S., St. Augustine Beach, 471-9900 ZAITOON MEDITERRANEAN GRILL 6-8 p.m., every first & third Wed. 13475 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 40, Intracoastal W., 221-7066

wraps, sandwiches and burgers served in a lively car racingthemed atmosphere (Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s the owner). FB. CM. L & D, daily. 4850 Big Island Drive. 645-5571. $$ WILD WING CAFÉ F Serving up 33 flavors of wings, as well as soups, sandwiches, wraps, ribs, platters and burgers. FB. 4555 Southside Blvd. 998-WING (9464). $$ YUMMY SUSHI F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Teriyaki, tempura, hibachi-style dinners, sushi & sashimi. Sushi lunch roll special. BW, sake. L & D, daily. 4372 Southside Blvd. 998-8806. $$

SAN JOSE

ATHENS CAFÉ F Serving authentic Greek cuisine: lamb, seafood, veal and pasta dishes. BW. L & D, daily. 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7. 733-1199. $$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Burgers, sandwiches, nachos, quesadillas and cheese fries. 5613 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 1. 737-2874. $ DICK’S WINGS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. NASCAR-themed family style sports place serves wings, buffalo tenders, burgers and chicken sandwiches. CM. BW. L & D, daily. 1610 University Blvd. W. 448-2110. dickswingsandgrill.com $ MOJO BAR-B-QUE F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The Southern Blues kitchen serves pulled pork, brisket and North Carolinastyle barbecue. TO, BW. L & D, daily. 1607 University Blvd. W. 732-7200. $$

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

BASIL THAI & SUSHI F Offering Thai cuisine, including pad Thai and curry dishes, and sushi in a relaxing atmosphere. L & D, Mon.-Sat. BW. 1004 Hendricks Ave. 674-0190. $$ b.b.’s F A bistro menu is served in an upscale atmosphere, featuring almond-crusted calamari, tuna tartare and wild mushroom pizza. FB. L & D, Mon.-Fri.; brunch & D, Sat. 1019 Hendricks Ave. 306-0100. $$$ BISTRO AIX F Best of Jax 2010 winner. French, Mediterranean-inspired fare, award-winning wines, woodfired pizzas, house-made pastas, steaks, seafood. Indoor, outdoor dining. FB. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, nightly. 1440 San Marco Blvd. 398-1949. $$$ CHECKER BBQ & SEAFOOD F Chef Art Jennette serves barbecue, seafood and comfort food, including pulled-pork, fried white shrimp and fried green tomatoes. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 3566 St. Augustine Rd. 398-9206. $ EUROPEAN STREET F Big sandwiches, soups, desserts and more than 100 bottled and on-tap beers. BW. L & D, daily. 1704 San Marco Blvd. 398-9500. $ THE GROTTO F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Wine by the glass. Tapas-style menu offers a cheese plate, empanadas bruschetta, chocolate fondue. BW. 2012 San Marco Blvd. 398-0726. $$ HAVANA-JAX CAFÉ/CUBA LIBRE BAR LOUNGE F Authentic Latin American fine dining: picadillo, ropa vieja, churrasco tenderloin steak, Cuban sandwiches. L & D, Mon.-Sat. CM, FB. 2578 Atlantic Blvd. 399-0609. $ LAYLA’S OF SAN MARCO Fine dining in the heart of San Marco. Traditional Middle Eastern cuisine, served inside or outside on the hookah and cigar patio. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat.; D, Sun. 2016 Hendricks Ave. 398-4610. $$ MATTHEW’S Chef’s tasting menu or seasonal à la carte menu featuring an eclectic mix of Mediterranean ingredients. Dress is business casual, jackets optional. FB. D, Mon.-Sat. 2107 Hendricks Ave. 396-9922. $$$$ METRO DINER F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Historic 1930s diner offers award-winning breakfast and lunch. Fresh seafood and Southern cooking. Bring your own wine. B & L, daily. 3302 Hendricks Ave. 398-3701. $$ PIZZA PALACE F At Pizza Palace, it’s all homemade from Mama’s award-winning recipes: spinach pizza and chickenspinach calzones. BW. L & D, daily. 1959 San Marco Blvd. 399-8815. $$ RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE A consistent Best of Jax 2010 winner. Midwestern prime beef, fresh seafood in an upscale atmosphere. FB. D, daily. 1201 Riverplace Blvd. 396-6200. $$$$ SAKE HOUSE See Riverside. 1478 Riverplace Blvd. 306-2188. $$ SAN MARCO DELI F The independently owned & operated classic diner serves grilled fish, turkey burgers and lunch meats roasted daily in-house. Vegetarian options, including tempeh, too. Mon.-Sat. 1965 San Marco Blvd. 399-1306. $ TAVERNA Tapas, small-plate items, Neapolitan-style woodfired pizzas and entrées are served in a rustic yet upscale interior. BW, TO. L & D, Tue.-Sat. 1986 San Marco Blvd. 398-3005. $$$ VINO’S PIZZA F See Julington. This newest San Marco location offers a lunch buffet. L & D, daily. 1430 San Marco Blvd. 683-2444. $

SOUTHSIDE

AROMAS BEER HOUSE Aromas offers customer favorites like

ahi tuna with a sweet soy sauce reduction, backyard burger, and triple-meat French dip. FB. L & D, daily. 4372 Southside Blvd. 928-0515. $$ BISTRO 41° F Casual dining features fresh, homemade breakfast and lunch dishes in a relaxing atmosphere. TO. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 3563 Philips Hwy., Ste. 104. 446-9738. $ BLUE BAMBOO Contemporary Asian-inspired cuisine includes rice-flour calamari, seared Ahi tuna, pad Thai. Street eats: barbecue duck, wonton crisps. BW. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.-Sat. 3820 Southside Blvd. 646-1478. $$ BOMBA’S SOUTHERN HOME COOKING F The neighborhood comfort spot offers Southern homestyle fare, featuring fresh veggies. Outside dining is available. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 8560 Beach Blvd. 997-2291. $$ BUCA DI BEPPO Italian dishes served family-style in an eclectic, vintage setting. Half-pound meatballs are a specialty. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 10334 Southside Blvd. 363-9090. $$$ CITY BUFFET CHINESE RESTAURANT F City Buffet offers an extensive selection of Chinese fare, including beef, fish, crabs, chicken, pork, desserts, ice cream, at its all-you-can-eat buffet. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 5601 Beach Blvd. 345-3507. $ CORNER BISTRO & WINE BAR F Casual fine dining. The menu blends modern American favorites served with international flair. The Fresh Bar offers fine wine, cocktails, martinis. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 9823 Tapestry Park Circle, Ste. 1. 619-1931. $$$ CURRY POT F This new restaurant offers authentic Northern Indian cuisine, including vegan, vegetarian and traditional menu items, as well as a buffet. L & D, daily. 7035 Philips Hwy., Ste. 3. 400-6373. $$ EL POTRO F Family-friendly, casual, El Potro cooks it fresh, made-to-order — fast, hot, simple. Daily specials and buffet at most locations. BW. L & D, daily. 5871 University Blvd. W., 733-0844. 11380 Beach Blvd., 564-9977. elpotrorestaurant.com $ EUROPEAN STREET F See San Marco. 5500 Beach Blvd. 398-1717. $ HALA CAFE & BAKERY F A local institution since 1975 serves house-baked pita bread, kabobs, falafel and daily lunch buffet. Best of Jax 2010 winner. TO, BW. L & D, Mon.Sat. 4323 University Blvd. S. 733-5141. $$ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Intracoastal. 8206 Philips Hwy. 732-9433. $ SPECKLED HEN TAVERN & GRILLE F This stylish yet simple gastropub features Southern-style cuisine made with a modern twist: Dishes are paired with international wines and beers, including a large selection of craft and IPA brews. FB. L & D, daily. 9475 Philips Hwy., Ste. 16. 538-0811. $$ SUNSET 30 TAVERN & GRILL F Located in Latitude 30, Sunset 30 serves familiar favorites, including seafood, steaks, sandwiches, burgers, chicken, pasta and pizza. Dine inside or on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. 10370 Philips Hwy. 365-5555. $$ TOMMY’S BRICK OVEN PIZZA F Premium New York-style pizza from a brick-oven — the area’s original gluten-free pizzeria. Plus calzones, soups and salads; Thumann’s noMSG meats, Grande cheeses and Boylan soda. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4160 Southside Blvd., Ste. 2. 565-1999. $$ WASABI JAPANESE BUFFET F Best of Jax 2010 winner. AYCE sushi and two teppanyaki grill items are included in buffet price. FB. L & D, daily. 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138C. 363-9888. $$

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

BOSTON’S RESTAURANT & SPORTSBAR F A full menu of sportsbar faves; pizzas till 2 a.m. Dine inside or on the patio. FB, TO. L & D, daily. 13070 City Station Dr., River City Marketplace. 751-7499. $$ CASA MARIA F The family-owned restaurant serves authentic Mexican fare, including fajitas and seafood. The specialty is tacos de azada. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 12961 N. Main St., Ste. 104. 757-6411. $$ JOSEPH’S PIZZA & ITALIAN RESTAURANT F Gourmet pizzas, pastas. Authentic Italian entrees like eggplant parmigiana, shrimp scampi. BW. L & D, daily. 7316 N. Main St. 765-0335. $$ MILLHOUSE STEAKHOUSE F A locally-owned-and-operated steakhouse with choice steaks from the signature broiler, and seafood, pasta, Millhouse gorgonzola, homemade desserts. CM, FB. D, nightly. 1341 Airport Rd. 741-8722. $$ SALSARITA’S FRESH CANTINA F Southwest cuisine made from scratch, served in a family atmosphere. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 840 Nautica Dr., Ste. 131, River City Marketplace. 696-4001. $ THREE LAYERS CAFE F Lunch, bagels, desserts, and the adjacent Cellar serves fine wines. Inside and courtyard dining. BW. B, L & D, daily. 1602 Walnut St., Springfield. 355-9791. $ 3 LIONS SPORTS PUB & GRILL F This modern restaurant’s menu features popular favorites: salads, sandwiches and pizza, as well as fine European cuisine. Nightly specials. 2467 Faye Rd., Northside. 647-8625. $$ UPTOWN MARKET F In the 1300 Building at the corner of Third & Main, Uptown serves fresh fare made with the same élan that rules Burrito Gallery. Innovative breakfast, lunch and deli selections. BW, TO. 1303 Main St. N. 355-0734. $$

JULY 19-25, 2011 | folio weekly | 41

ons, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn dAte: 071911 PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 Day of Infamy

of benefit

sUpport

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May 21, Jesserm Robinson either established or Produced by jw Checked by On Sales Rep

tied the unofficial world record for unluckiest underage drinker of all time when he was booked into the Hamilton County, Ohio, jail for underage consumption. According to booking records, Robinson’s date of birth is May 22, 1990.

Government in Action!

“Common sense lost its voice on this one,” concluded a Wethersfield, Conn., city councilman, lamenting the local school board’s having spent at least $630,000 to “resolve” an ethics complaint against the board’s chairwoman — because her son had improperly taken a $400 high school course for free. The town’s ethics board conducted more than 60 hours of hearings over 11 months, incurring $407,000 in legal expenses, and finally voted, 3-2, to uphold the complaint. However, the ethics board ordered only that the chairwoman reimburse the $400; the school board then voted to pay all her legal expenses. “Science© does not trump the testimony of This is a copyright protected proof individuals,” said Detroit prosecutor Marilyn Eisenbraun, explaining her office’s decision in April to disregard DNA evidence that the ons, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: 071911 University of Michigan’s Innocence Clinic said PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 exonerates Karl Vinson, 56, who’s spent 25 years in prison for rape. Despite the science, Produced by ab Checked by Sales Rep am OF BENEFIT SUPPORT ASK FOR ACTION Eisenbraun said she had to stick with eyewitness identification by the victim. Though Vinson has been eligible for release for 15 years, the Parole Board keeps denying him — because he refuses to acknowledge guilt. (Update: In July, the Michigan Court of Appeals declined to order either Vinson’s release or a new trial, but did grant him an extraordinary right to appeal, based on the new evidence.) © 2011 In June, as five young men gathered at Mount Tabor Reservoir near Portland, Ore., one urinated in it, thus “contaminating” the 7.2 million gallons that serve the city, and, said Water Bureau administrator David Shaff, necessitating the entire supply be dumped. Under questioning by the weekly Portland Mercury if the water is also dumped when an animal urinates in it (or worse, dies in it), Shaff Folio Weekly creates a comprehensive guide that replied, certainly not. “If we did that, we’d be our loyal readers will reference again and again. [dumping the water] all the time.” Asked the It’s got all they need to know — page after reporter, what’s the difference? Because, said page of amazing Asian, heavenly homecookin’, Shaff (sounding confident of his logic), “Do you incredible Italian and so much more! want to be drinking someone’s pee?” Whether they crave Cuban, jones for Japanese A 53-year-old man committed suicide in or would die for Deli, our Bite by Bite by Cuisine May by wading into San Francisco Bay, 150 yards directory details the best Northeast Florida has offshore, standing neck-deep until he died in the © 2011 to offer. 60-degree water, with police and firefighters from the city of Alameda watching from shore the Publication Date: whole time. Said a police lieutenant, “We’re not trained to go into the water [and] don’t have the Tuesday, August 9 type of equipment that you would use …” KGO-TV attributed their reluctance to budget Advertising Deadline: cuts that prevented the city’s firefighters from Friday, July 29 being recertified in water rescues. Title IX of the federal Civil Rights For more information on this Act requires universities to offer “equal” Folio Weekly’s intercollegiate athletic access to females, even Bite By Bite By Cuisine Directory outstanding advertising opportunity, call though finding enough serious female athletes details the best restaurants your Folio Weekly account representative is difficult on some campuses. The easiest Northeast Florida or David Brennan 904.260.9770 ext. 130 subterfuge, according to an April New York has to offer. before the deadline. Times report, is to pad women’s teams with whimsically enlisted females and in some cases, with males. Said former university president (and Health & Human Services Secretary) Donna Shalala, “Those of us in the business know that universities have been end-running Title IX for a long time, and they do it until

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42 | folio weekly | JULY 19-25, 2011

they get caught.” Sample dysfunctional result: When University of South Florida added football (100 male players) a few years ago, it was forced to populate more female teams, and so “recruited” 71 women for cross-country, even though fewer than half ran races; several were surprised to know they were even on the team when a Times reporter inquired.

Great Art!

Britain’s Ben Wilson is an artist with an entire field to himself — the only painter who creates finely detailed masterpieces on flattened pieces of chewing gum found on London sidewalks. Frequently spotted lying nearly inert on the ground, working, Wilson estimates he’s painted “many thousands” of such “canvases,” ranging from portraits and landscapes to specialized messages (like listing the names of all employees at a soon-to-beclosed Woolworth’s store). According to a June New York Times item, Wilson first heats each piece with a blowtorch, applies lacquer and acrylic enamel before painting, then sealing with more lacquer. And of course he works only with tiny, tiny brushes.

Police Report

Gregory Snelling, 41, was indicted in June for the robbery of a KeyBank branch in Springfield, Ohio, which was notable more for the ensuing foot chase with police. They caught him, but Snelling may deserve “style” points for the run, covered as he was in red dye from the money bag, and the fact that he was holding a beer in his hand during the entire chase. The Aristocrats! Brent Kendall, 31, was arrested in June in Coralville, Iowa, and charged with criminal mischief after he allegedly reacted to a domestic quarrel with his live-in girlfriend by cutting up items of her clothing and urinating on her bed and computer.

Criminals With Chutzpah

A 2004 gang-related murder had frustrated Los Angeles police for four years until a homicide investigator, paging through gangbangers’ photographs for another case, spotted an elaborate tattoo on the chest of Anthony Garcia. Evidently, that 2004 killing was such a milestone in Garcia’s life, he commemorated the liquor store crime scene on his skin. The investigation was reopened, eventually leading to a surreptitious confession by Garcia and, in April 2011, to his conviction for first-degree murder. Photos from Garcia’s several bookings between ’04-’08 show his mural evolving as he added details, until the crime scene was complete enough that the investigator recognized it.

Least Competent Non-Criminals

In May, in Rensselaer, N.Y., and in June, in Bluefield, W.Va., two men, noticing police were investigating nearby, became alarmed and fled out of fear of arrest, since both were certain there were active warrants out on them. Nicholas Volmer, 21, eventually “escaped” into the Hudson River and had to be rescued, but the police were after someone else, and no warrant was on file. Arlis Dempsey Jr., 32, left his three kids on the street in Bluefield to make a run for it before cops caught him, but he wasn’t wanted for anything, either. Both men, however, face new charges — trespassing for Volmer, and child endangerment for Dempsey. Chuck Shepherd WeirdNews@earthlink.net

LUNCHTIME MEDITATION … OH MAN! I was in the back row, red shirt, cargo shorts, black hair; you sat to my right, light brown skin, skinny jeans, beautiful smile. I couldn’t pay attention to my breath! I promised I’d talk to you but I’m way too shy. I left, came back, passed you in the spirituality section and you smiled but I still wussed out! When: July 12, 2011. Where: Jacksonville Public Library Southeast Region. #1160-0719 THE ATLANTIC ATLANTA BRAVES HAT Let’s just say fireworks were not just going off in the sky. I gave you my 15 second intro in a minute and a half. I think we were making googly eyes, but never made it to the beach as planned. You: Tall, cute smile, Braves Hat. Me: Pink dress, light brown hair, fast talker. Want to go down to the beach? When: July 4, 2011. Where: The Atlantic. #1159-0712 FIREWORKS ON INTRACOASTAL You: Sexy, bald speed demon pedaling over the intracoastal on your beach cruiser. Me: Ginger with a soul. Fireworks exploded when my eyes met your sweaty bod. Can a girl get a tow? When: July 4, 2011. Where: Atlantic Blvd. Intracoastal. #1158-0712 WE SHOULD HAVE WALKED TOGETHER You were paying as I was walking in the store. You gave me a smile that made me forget to talk. I asked the cashier if I could use the restroom because I had a couple of miles to walk to get where I was going. You said you had to do the same. Me: black hat/tattoo sleeve. When: June 28, 2011. Where: Best Choice Store at Oak and Stockton. #1157-0712 BEARDED BRITISH GUY WITH GREAT SMILE At Kickbacks. You in black tee and jeans. Me in yellow shirt and jeans. You were discussing with your friends why you can’t tip in British strip clubs (the pound is a coin, not $ bill). I asked you to hold my table while I went inside. You smiled and I just couldn’t muster the strength to say anything else. Another chance? When: July 1, 2011. Where: Kickbacks Gastropub. #1156-0712 MY HERO You came marching in as dozens of families waited anxiously to be reunited. I waited nervously for the first time. I saw you standing tall and handsome. Tan and well built. I walked to you in a coral dress and when our eyes met my heart fluttered. When you smile it jumped, and when you told me I was beautiful it melted. When: June 12, 2011. Where: AFB Moody. #1155-0712 FSCJ CAMPUS AMAZING GIRL You: Blonde haired lady at FSCJ. Your hair is always straight and you wear sexy flats. Me: Guy at FSCJ, always sitting with water jug. Maybe one day you can hydrate my lips. When: Every day. Where: FSCJ Campus. #1154-0712 TURKISH DELIGHT You: Sexy Turkish man with cowlick making pizza. I was looking at your nose when you said, “Hey honey, why you make face?” Will you be my white horse? Ya Rock! Me: Filipino who wants to be your girlfriend. When: June 9, 2011. Where: Al’s Pizza. #1153-0712 HERE IS YOUR CHANCE … We talked in front of the Bargain Outlet store on Dunn Avenue and you asked me to give you a chance and I told you that I was spoken for. Well, not now. So if you still want the chance, then pay the $5 and get the chance to be my Romeo. I just may be your Juliet. Let’s see … When: March 23, 2011. Where: Dunn Avenue Bargain Outlet. #1152-0705 MISSING VEST, WORKING THE STRIPES You: Server at Biscottis, blk shirt & making stripes look better than ever. Medium to long hair. Me: sat in corner table, ordered a pizza. You gazed in my eyes while refilling my water. I want more pizza and stripes in my life. When: June 28, 2011. Where: Biscottis. #1151-0705 PETITE BLONDE HAIRDRESSER You were a beautiful blonde hairdresser from Orange Park. I was a retired Navy diver and we played a game of who was what. I can’t get you out of my thoughts. I would love to take you out on a date. When: May. Where: The Metro. #1150-0705

GIRAFFE TONGUED BLONDE LASS I do so enjoy our stare-offs, although I have to confess to getting lost in those gorgeous Irish eyes of yours. While I know you have a thing for older men, I must admit to becoming intoxicated by your loveliness, or maybe it’s just those Mirrer Rites. When: Always. Where: Birdies. #1149-0705 KNIGHT RIDER GIDDY UP! Me: Chocolate Thunder across the bar. You: Blue-eyed, sexy white boy serving up drinks and all the jokes. And yes, I smoked with cigarettes. Settling for your sandwich was just not enough. Let’s get together and see what you’re having tonight... When: June 17, 2011. Where: Ritz. #1148-0628 TALL BLONDE DREAD HEAD HOTTIE I first noticed your beautiful blonde dread locks tied in a ponytail. You wore cute black square glasses. You came in with your parents maybe? I sat you and took small glances of you, casually walking by. You were busy talking and I’m too shy, but maybe we could talk and even make some pancakes together sometime? ;) When: June 21, 2011. Where: Original Pancake House at Town Center. #1147-0628 BROKEN FOOT? SHORT BLONDE DREDS I see you once in a while when I do the morning jog thing while visiting St. Augustine. I haven’t really seen your face. Curiosity rises... When: June 20, 2011. Where: St. Augustine Beach. #1146-0628 5 POINTS CORNER SATURDAY NIGHT You were tallish with blondish hair wearing a colorful sundress standing on the corner of 5 Points with a friend. I crossed the street, tall with long hair wearing black jean jacket. I checked you out, we exchanged smiles. I should have turned around. Want to have a smile contest? When: June 18, 2011. Where: 5 Points in front of the Derby restaurant. #1145-0628

something new. Perhaps a fish taco? When: June 1, 2011. Where: Burrito Gallery. #1143-0621 HOT AND SULTRY You: sweaty, sexy, and sultry with nice moves! Me: can’t keep my eyes off you, you pull me to the dance floor. End the night with a romantic walk to the beach. I just have to find you! When: June 10, 2011. Where: Sun Dog. #1142-0621 YOUR SMART DOG IS A BONUS! :-) June 14: Four P.M., at ATM behind Publix on Baymeadows Rd. You: next in line. Gray SUV, originally from Ohio via California, new to Jax. We discussed smoky air, heat and your intelligent dog. Any chance we could continue over dinner? drinks? (I’ll try to untie my tongue, if you’ll give me a chance!) When: June 14, 2011. Where: ATM behind Publix on Baymeadows Rd. #1141-0621

STRONG SOUTHERN MAN WANTED Workout at the gym. You: popular appearing man talkative (hottie), with a Southern drawl, sounded ignorant, brown hair, workout gloves. We spoke of anti-religion and antipolitics, both topics you should never mention to a hottie. But u didn’t mind. I’d like to meet again. man on man. You can spot me ; ) I spotted you. When: June 1, 2011. Where: Just Fitness in Mandarin. #1135-0614 MINNESOTA LOVIN’ You: green shirt, blond hair, glasses outside Yobe in Avondale talking about Minnesota and Graceland. Me: hanging with friends and family and discussing turning 30. Hope we can see each other and get lost in conversation... Maybe we could trek through Minnesota together. You were with a guy, can I make you change your mind? When: June 6, 2011. Where: Yobe in Avondale. #1134-0614

AN ELEGANT TOMBOY You: friendly smile, brunette, 40ish in golf shirt and black slacks. Me: portly and buttoned-down in khakis, Oxford and topsiders. I winked, you smiled. “Do you date immature men?” I asked. “Almost exclusively,” you responded. Can you love a fool? I never got your number. When: June 13, 2011. Where: Doctors Express Urgent Care. #1140-0621

YOU SAW ME A LONG TIME AGO I saw your ad in I Saw You many years ago. Was in a relationship at that time but no longer. You saw me in front of a store near the old Walmart on Beach Blvd. We watched a baby learning how to walk and we smiled at each other. Now I’m looking for you. Let’s see if we can do a lot more smiling. When: 7 Years Ago. Where: Old Walmart on Beach Blvd. #1133-0614

HOTTIE IN THE VILLAGE She was tall, long dark hair, beautiful smile and awesome laugh. She was working and looking o so beautiful. I was there with the kids having some pie; love that pie. When: June 13, 2011. Where: Village Inn. #1139-0621

MOVIES … JUST US NEXT TIME? You: hot dad, red shirt, 2 adorable sons. Me: blue shirt, crazy kids, 5 seats down in same row. Would love to formally meet you! When: June 2, 2011. Where: Carmike Cinemas Fleming Island. #1132-0614

TATTOOED You were at the bar with a buddy; you were drinking red bull and wearing a blue t-shirt. I couldn’t help but notice all the tattoos. I was on business lunch and couldn’t stop to chat... When: June 13, 2011. Where: Benny’s at the Landing. #1138-0621

HOT PORTUGUESE HONEY First time I laid eyes on your beauty in nearly two decades and my heart was pounding so hard I could barely speak. I never thought I could feel that again. Maybe you felt the same rush at the sight of me ;) This soldier will be in town in Nov. so you can let me know. When: April 5, 2011. Where: Denny’s on Atlantic and 9A. #1131-0614

SALESMAN THAT CAUGHT MY EYE Tall, handsome, and a gorgeous smile with green eyes. Kia of Orange Park. I test drove a car. You shook my hand and we gazed into each other’s eyes. Best moment of my life. You know who you are. Thanks for the business card. I’ll be keeping in touch. When: March 4, 2011. Where: Kia of Orange Park. #1144-0621

MY GREEN-EYED EVERYTHING I saw you at the Bagel shop on Beach Blvd. eating an everything bagel, your wavy brown hair, beautiful green eyes; it looked like you were eating with your brother, he had eggs and a bagel. Me: tall, bald and slim, getting coffee and smiling at you; you said good morning. Would love to meet you. When: June 5, 2011. Where: Bagel Shop. #1137-0614

MISSING INGREDIENT FROM BURRITO GALLERY You are more interesting than most. Always with a determined demeanor, pleasant smile, and generous tip. You order the same thing every day for months on end. I admire your consistency, but am full of various recipes that could spice up your life. I hope you’ll come back soon and try

WALLY WORLD CUTIE Walking out of Walmart with my family, I ran into you and yours. You have nice dark hair and you were wearing a JU (Jacksonville University) shirt. I felt something when we locked eye contact. AMAZING... When: June 8, 2011. Where: Walmart on Hodges. #1136-0614

LET’S FLY AWAY TOGETHER I Saw U at Jacksonville International Airport saying what appeared to be a final farewell to a guy, sad tears. You glanced my way – I’ll never forget your look. You: slender, dark hair, red lipstick. Me: Tall, dark & handsome. We belong together. When: March 22, 2011. Where: JIA. #1130-0607 BELK’S MEMORIAL DAY SHOE SALE! It was Memorial Day and you and your daughter(?) were in Belk’s shopping for shoes. You didn’t buy any... but I did. You said I should exchange the tags and then everything I wanted would be on sale. Wish we had exchanged phone numbers instead of tags. When: May 30, 2011. Where: Belk’s Regency. #1129-0607

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FreeWill Astrology ARIES (March 21-April 19): I dreamed you were in a cake store. Every delicious kind of cake you could imagine was there: carrot cake, strawberry cheesecake, gooey butter cake, rich chocolate cake with four layers of cherries and whipped cream, birthday cakes that must’ve been baked in paradise. Sadly, there was a problem: You weren’t allowed to buy any, even though you had the money. A big sign on the wall said, simply, “Absolutely no cakes available for Aries.” What do you think it means? More importantly, what are you going to do about it? I suggest that in my next dream, you get a friend to buy a cake for you. Either that, or go to another cake store. The astrological omens say it’s high time for you get the cake you want. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Fill in the blanks. Don’t let them remain vacant and barren any longer. Don’t allow them to scream at you with their accusatory silence. Just fill in the freaking blanks with whatever you’ve got — your best guesses, borrowed mojo, any miscellaneous material you have. I realize you may be tempted to wait for a supposedly more ideal moment, but this is as ideal as it gets. So express the hell out of yourself in the empty spaces, my dear; create yourself anew in the void, however improvisational or inexact it may feel. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “Do you know how to resolve an unresolvable paradox?” asked a Facebook friend named Pi. He answered his own question: “You figure out the ‘error’ in the initial premise or assumption.” That’s my prescription for you this week. Don’t be tempted to bang your head against the wall to shake loose a non-existent answer to the wrong question. Instead, stop in the middle of your angst and think: “What would be a more productive way to formulate the riddle I need to untangle?” CANCER (June 21-July 22): An innovative job-seeker, Travis Broyles, put an ad on Craigslist in Atlanta. Among the tasks he said he’d perform for money were: draw your face on a balloon, email you a list of 250 things he likes about you, build you a cardboard car and make vroom-vroom sounds while you drive it, change his political leanings, rename your Pokemon or give you star treatment for a month, hiding in the bushes like a paparazzi and taking candid photos of you. I recommend you come up with your version of a list like this. It’ll help stimulate your imagination about what you have to offer; exactly what the astrological omens suggest. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): As I ponder your immediate future, I’m reminded of a scene from the animated TV show “The Simpsons.” Here’s the situation: While visiting the home of a colleague, the superintendent of schools is surprised to witness an anomalous outbreak of spectacular light. “Aurora Borealis?” he exclaims. “At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?” “Yes,” replies the colleague. I think you’ll soon enjoy a metaphorically comparable visitation. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): My astrological colleague Antero Alli praises the value of anxiety. He says when you feel an unsettling emotion, it’s because you’re experiencing more uncertainty than you like — and that can be a good thing. It may mean you’re about to experience the fertility that comes from wading into the unknown. An outbreak of novelty may be imminent, with the chance to welcome interesting surprises into your life. In fact, says Alli, the anxiety that comes from unpredictable mysteries may herald the arrival of an influx of creativity.

44 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JULY 19-25, 2011

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “The I Ching counsels that if we are associating with others who are not our true peers,”

says astrologer Caroline Casey, “our real allies cannot find us.” Test yourself: If, after taking inventory, you see your circle is mostly cohorts and comrades who match your levels of vitality and intelligence, that’s excellent news. It signals a chance to work on an upgraded version of your social life to increase access to synergy and symbiosis even further. But if your survey shows you’re hanging out too much with folks whose energy doesn’t match yours, it’s time for a metamorphosis. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): There’s a lot of graffiti scrawled in a variety of languages on St. Peter’s Basilica in Vatican City. A fairly recent arrival is a plea, in English, to resuscitate a defunct American TV sitcom. “God, Bring back ‘Arrested Development’,” the guerrilla prayer reads. According to my astrological omen reading, now’s a good time to be equally cheeky promoting one of your pet causes. Consider the option of taking your case to a higher authority. To fight for what’s right, you may have to make your mark in a place whose sphere of influence is bigger than yours. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Do you stare for hours every day into little screens like those on smart phones, computer monitors and TVs? If so, I recommend you tear your gaze away from them more than usual in the week ahead. A change in your brain chemistry needs to occur, and one good way to do so is to feast your eyes on vast panoramas and expansive natural scenes. It’ll invigorate your thinking about your destiny’s design and contours, and it’d be in sweet alignment with astrological omens. So catch regular views of the big picture. Treat clouds, birds and stars as if they were restorative messages from the wide-open future. Gaze lovingly at the big sky. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A Facebook friend posted a quote by seminal psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud: “Being entirely honest with oneself is a worthwhile exercise.” In response, Facebooker Dean Robinson disagreed: “Oh, I say let yourself have a little denial, and touch base with reality on a need-to-know basis.” Another respondent, Paulie Cerra, took that sentiment one step further: “Reality and I have an understanding. I don’t mess with it and it doesn’t mess with me.” Which of those are you inclined to pursue? In light of current astrological omens, try the first one for at least the next two weeks. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You really need to tell your stories. It’s not just a good idea; it’s downright urgent. There’s a backlog of unexpressed narratives clogging up your depths. It’s like you’ve become too big a secret to the world. The unvented pressure is building up, threatening to implode. So find a graceful way to share the narratives that are smoldering inside you — emphasis on the word “graceful.” I don’t want your tales to suddenly erupt like a volcano all over everything at the wrong time and place. You need a receptive audience and the proper setting. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Piscean actor Javier Bardem told Parade magazine: “I don’t know if I’ll get to heaven. I’m a bad boy. Heaven must be nice, but is it too boring? Maybe you can get an apartment there and then go to hell for the weekends.” I caution all you other Pisceans against pursuing this line of thought in the weeks ahead. You may imagine you can get away with sneaking away to hell for just a couple of days a week, but I don’t share that optimism. My advice? Rack your brains to drum up as much adventure as possible in safety zones and sanctuaries where you know for sure you’ll stay healthy and sane. Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

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JULY 19-25, 2011 | folio weekly | 45

FOLIO WEEKLY PUZZLER by Merl Reagle. Presented by

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Card Game 1 5 9 14 15 16 18 20 22 23 24 26 27 29 31 32 33 34 36 37 40 41 42 43 45 46 47 48 50 52 53 54 55 56 59 60 63

ACROSS Fiction material? Actor Hugh Toss (about) Grandkid in Genesis Place to play Leading 1967 film starring George Hamilton as a jewel thief Largest city by area in the contiguous United States TV show, for ex. Dropcloth? Got going Brand of nonstick cookware (anagram of FLAT) Gretzky’s team, once Solemn assent Bake shop buys Daisy portrayer in “The Great Gatsby” Little bit Centric intro Slangy sailor Horrify Cold weather personified Bernie Sanders, for ex. Carter’s home Word with night or right Solitario number California’s Big ___ Plug-in of a sort Heavy military footgear Cold in a stinging way Cassini et al. The third one usually doesn’t feel so good Pin cushion? They may need massaging Calif. city, in airport shorthand Battery terminal Theme of this puzzle Son of a 1970s president, or host of the weekend edition of “Today” in the late 1990s 1

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Mus. partner? Lhasa ___ Meadow mom Taken, as a position Like some rituals “I’m ___ on the ocean ...” (Brian Wilson lyric) Checks out Noted fat avoider Pot for pods Blood letters Walker, on signs He played Starsky on TV Airline to Oslo British flag Vandyke’s cousin “SNL” bit Where Socrates shopped Weasel’s sound? “Ha ha ha!” online Gambler’s marker Word with bees or breeze “The King’s ___” Petri dish stuff Snare, tom, etc. Ill-fated 1789 figure Duo before do Dairy case item Forsyth novel 1970 hit, “___ Bell To Answer” Keats poem, “The ___ St. Agnes” It’s hot in here Are Wesley Snipes-Ice T drama, “___ City” Astronaut Conrad

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* VOLUME 17 IS HERE! * To order signed copies of Merl’s crossword books (40 puzzles each), visit www.sundaycrosswords. com or call 800-431-1579 (orders only, please).

B AMB A RD E H A I R T A P M RN I A CU E T H A D E T O T A V E R E CU T M S H E A R E OS T E R F E T E R I I S S A D J MA I CU T S B A H A A R L E T T R A T OM NDH E R A I MA T Z OOMS

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Stomps on the gas Exam for H.S. juniors Church section Lies in store for 2003 Down Under comedy Fitness guru, 19142011 This is your life Baby talk Tuna for which Navy subs have been named Abu Dhabi’s fed. Short time-out Glitzy, for short Light carriages Seaman’s wool coat Gas info TV Dr. Trough’s opposite Barrel strip Parisian pupil Abbr. after Ron Paul’s name Very, to Villon Carl Sagan’s “The Dragons of ___” Not running Mr. Lilly Poisonous evergreen Get aboard, as a train

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Bordeaux buddy Late bloomer? Grain-threshing tools Big money prize Hard to grasp Tom Clancy hero It serves Tel Aviv Main road “Offside” official Flyspeck Judge’s adj. Adds to the bottom line Athol Fugard’s “A Lesson from ___” Twinge Thanksgiving desserts Star of the original “Hawaii Five-O” Popular perennial Evening, in Essen Corporate symbols Bit of bickering Jump up and down to punk music European crow Golf gadget Mae West’s “___ Angel” Stylist to the stars José Work, as a puzzle Shackled no more Track figures Early TV host “___ She Lovely” Lucas creature Chan, Collins, or Cooper IHOP offering Say yes

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Language R Us

What scholastic jargon disguises — and reveals — about our educational priorities

f you want to learn about a culture, study its language. Educanese is the bastard love-child of bureaucracy and professional insecurity. Sadly, after years of inhabiting the world of public education, I have become fluent in the mother tongue of institutional doublespeak. With so much in the news these days featuring abstruse quotations from representatives of my profession, I thought I could provide a public service by offering translations of some simple phrases. It all began with a word wall. In lieu of systematic vocabulary development, teachers in our district have been instructed to post terms and phrases on their classroom walls. Research indicates this is an authentic mode for language acquisition. See? You need a translator already. Welcome to my world. “Research indicates” is a qualifying statement used to justify often untenable positions. Have an otherwise indefensible stance — you know, like tying suspension rates to a school’s grade? Throw “research indicates” at the beginning of your statement, and poof: instant credibility. “Authentic” is another way of saying “genuine,” but “genuine” is so clear, so endearingly retro. It sounds like something the late Fred Rogers might’ve said. Unlike the gentle trolley excursions into “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood,” folks in my profession have dubbed a state safari into our neck of the woods a “drive-by.” Not much endearment in that subtext, but don’t shoot the messenger. I’m just providing the subtitles. As for “mode,” unless you’re discussing an improvisation by Miles Davis, “method” would have sufficed. However, “method” implies a logical approach, so this too might be a bit misleading in the context of flavor-of-the-month solutions. We used to teach grammar in our schools. It often involved such arcane concepts as “parts of speech” and “subject-verb-agreement.” Minds vastly superior to my own have deemed this practice hopelessly outdated and, frankly, just not fun. Learning all those rules is too much like work. Why spend time studying word meanings and their usage in a variety of settings when we can draw from the world of science (sidebar — this is called interdisciplinary curriculum development), and let osmosis do the work for us? Post that unfamiliar term on the wall and, as if by magic, it assimilates into the collective unconscious. Research, after all, indicates this is an effective technique. But don’t take it from me. Check out how well our students from nonmagnet schools are performing on the Advanced Placement© English Composition and Literature exams. Language acquisition = got words. In an effort to support district initiatives, I actually started a word wall in my office. Data has been a popular theme. Did you know you can go for a data dive, take a data dump and participate in a data rodeo? We drill down for mastery, ratchet up the rigor and unpack standards. Our organizational structure is defined by clusters, and I would be a liar if I told you I never had fun with that one. But wait, there’s more! My friends in accounting periodically send memos informing

me of a payroll suspense. A coworker and I always greet this as an opportunity to sing the signature organ motif from the “Phantom of the Opera.” Back in the days when we spent money on such frivolities as music education, I would have referred to it by its title, the “Toccata and Fugue in D Minor,” but we’ve come a long way since then. Doesn’t it make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside to know there are now nurturing groups for struggling students? Even teachers may find themselves being nurtured in targeted coaching sessions. You can really feel the love swimming around in this kind of syntax. Of course, linguistic development extends beyond the school environment. I colorcoded my word wall to illustrate the interconnectedness of language. Educanese is

Did you know you can go for a data dive, take a data dump and participate in a data rodeo? We drill down for mastery, ratchet up the rigor and unpack standards. Our organizational structure is defined by clusters, and I would be a liar if I told you I never had fun with that one. represented in green, and terms from other bureaucratic structures appear in black. There are a number of veterans in our ranks, and they have contributed military acronyms denoting the progressive forms of institutional dysfunction, specifically, snafu, tarfu and fubar. Friends and family have joined the fun with words and phrases coded in blue. Teacher Relocation Program was provided by a Scrabble champion math buddy who cited it as a fine example of a euphemism. I incorporated damfino in tribute to my mother, a nurse, who on morning rounds once asked a doctor to clarify this technical phrase in his notes on a patient’s diagnosis. It was a less litigious time, a time more given to honest expression. He responded, “Damned if I know.” Finally, since I take my responsibility as an educator seriously, I have added a few enduring words and phrases from the cultural canon in red. Among these you will find feebs and droolers cited in a passage from a short story by Jack London and philistines from an essay by Matthew Arnold. Perhaps the most relevant term for our present day is an offering from the Greeks: hubris.

When I saw my first word wall, it reminded me of poetic creations on the surfaces of bathroom stalls. But I was born in the ’60s, so I also saw the creative potential in a bit of sanctioned graffiti. My word wall has been a fun diversion, stimulating many engaging conversations about the nature of language and expression. It has also generated a perplexed look or two from visiting dignitaries who have taken a wrong turn and found themselves in my office by mistake but, strangely enough, they never ask questions. Our use of language says a lot about who we are. For many years, I waged a campaign against calling students by their FCAT© levels. Good people had no malicious intent when they did so, they simply found it more direct to say, “level ones and level twos” than “students who had scored a level one or a level two.” To me there was and is a big difference. When I explained in non-confrontational terms how this unintentionally dehumanizes the subject, people were open to at least looking at the language from another perspective. To my dismay, I recently caught myself using these same phrases I had hoped to eradicate. I think that says a lot about the pervasiveness of quantitative analysis in an environment that should be focused first on the human element, with statistics playing a supporting role to hone the art and craft of teaching. On a personal level, I think it says a lot about me, and I don’t like what it says. At what point do we draw the line? In Florida, high schools are pitted against each other in the public arena based on the combination of two grades. The second half of the grade, the determination of which could easily fill yet another essay, incorporates such factors as college-readiness and enrollment and performance in accelerated programs, including Advanced Placement© courses. The first half is determined through a complicated formula evaluating student, and by extension, teacher performance on the FCAT©. As a result of this process, a new phrase far more disturbing than any I have seen in recent times has crept into the educational lexicon. Kids who count insidiously defines the population of students whose scores are used to determine a school’s grade, and through a bit of trickle-down alchemy, the curriculum, the climate and the fates of every individual inhabiting the building. The obvious question is, “Which kids don’t count?” Kids who count represents a precarious divide. This mindset, even if it is a self-defense against a system that’s clearly out of control, thrusts us into dangerous semantic territory. It is a statement that uses an artificial standard to measure the value of another individual in proportion to our own self-interest. In doing so, we also sacrifice a bit of our own humanity. Once crossed, this is a point from which there may be no return. Lydia Harrington is a bullrider in the Duval County Public Schools Data Rodeo.

Folio Weekly welcomes Backpage Editorial submissions. Essays should be at least 1,200 words and on a topic of local interest or concern. Email your Backpage to themail@folioweekly. com or snail mail it to Anne Schindler, Editor, Folio Weekly, 9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256. Opinions expressed on the Backpage are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the editors or management of Folio Weekly. JULY 19-25, 2011 | folio weekly | 47

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