February 22, 2011 by Folio Weekly

Northeast Florida’s News & Opinion Magazine • February 22-28, 2011 • Naturally and Artificially Flavored

Alan Justiss, 1943-2011 A remembrance in words, pictures and poems. p. 10

Comedian Neil Hamburger suffers for his art so you don’t have to! p. 28

FREE

2 | FOLIO WEEKLY | FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011

Inside

Volume 24 Number 47

20 16 EDITOR’S NOTE p. 4 MAIL Cyclist criticizes bike hazards on Beach Boulevard, St. Augustine motorist decries city’s “brain fart.” p. 5 NEWS Attorney Jim Miller translates the ethereal beauty of the Everglades into musical poetry. p. 6

MUSIC The musical rise and youthful indiscretions of a man named Kid. Plus a Q&A with the Old 97’s. p. 20 ARTS Comedian Neil Hamburger suffers for his art so you don’t have to! p. 28 NEWS OF THE WEIRD One word: Eargasm. p. 42

Jacksonville’s poet laureate Alan Justiss remembered in words, pictures and poems. p. 10

FREEWILL ASTROLOGY Indulge your inner hip-hop millionaire, Pisces! p. 44

BUZZ, BOUQUETS & BRICKBATS JTA moves mountains (literally) to silence critics. Plus Rick Scott gets in touch with his inner Jerk. p. 7

I ♥ TELEVISION p. 12 HAPPENINGS p. 31 DINING p. 33 I SAW U p. 43 CLASSIFIEDS p. 45 BACKPAGE p. 47

OUR PICKS Reasons to leave the house this week. p. 15

MOVIES Reviews of “Flow” and “I Am Number Four.” p. 16 FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 3

By domestic violence shelter resident, age 9

Hard Times I

t was a rough week, literally, for Northeast Florida girlfriends. Hardly a day went by last week without a report of a girlfriend brutally assaulted, murdered or, in one case, kept hostage in a boarded-up home for months. The fresh crimes were bracketed by reminders of previous ones — a man sentenced for running over his girlfriend, a man sentenced for raping his girlfriend, a man sentenced for strangling his wheelchair-bound girlfriend to death. Hell, just last Friday, a Folio Weekly employee on lunch break witnessed a man pummeling his crying girlfriend as he steered his car down Philips Highway. (Yes, the employee called police.) The flood of stories wasn’t mere coincidence. It reflects a troubling new reality. Although violent crime in Jacksonville declined by double digits in 2009, domestic violence saw a 10 percent spike. Domestic violence murders

Money strains are obviously a prime cause of marital discord, as anyone who’s been married can attest. It takes no great leap of logic to see that those households where fists are thrown in conflict will experience an array of financial “pain.” But lack of money isn’t just a source of discord; it perpetuates discord. Financial resources are essential for women looking to leave abusive relationships, and without them, their sense that escape is possible diminishes greatly. That said, money isn’t enough to keep women from harm, as any Ponte Vedra Beach police officer will attest. And money doesn’t guarantee a safe landing. Indeed, perceptions that a woman should “just leave” overlook the most salient and frightening fact of domestic violence: that a woman is never more imperiled than when she attempts to go. Jacksonville has focused intently on

Jacksonville has focused intently on bringing down violent crime in recent years, and has brought resources to bear, to good effect. But the news of the last week is a harsh reminder that domestic crimes are moving in the opposite direction. also increased last year, even as other kinds of murders declined (dropping below 100 for the first time in 30 years). In other words, as the city becomes marginally safer, it is increasingly dangerous for women in abusive relationships. Ironically, both of these developments appear to have the same cause. Poor economic conditions have traditionally accompanied a drop in crime, at least in part because less money is flowing into drug markets, and because humans tend to behave more cautiously when times are lean. At the same time, money problems are the chief cause of domestic disputes, and incidents of domestic violence are three times as likely when extended joblessness and financial strain are part of the picture. Jacksonville Sheriff John Rutherford is fond of saying that crime isn’t an economic problem. “Crime is not an issue of economics,” he’s frequently repeated. “It is an issue of values.” Nobody would argue that hitting your girlfriend suggests a certain moral deficit, but dismissing the economic causes of domestic violence (or any violence) seems like either political piety or willful ignorance. 4 | FOLIO WEEKLY | FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011

bringing down violent crime in recent years, and has brought resources to bear, to good effect. But the news of the last week is a harsh reminder that domestic crimes are moving in the opposite direction. Before we celebrate the city’s marginally safer streets, we need to attend to its increasingly hazardous homes. Anne Schindler themail@folioweekly.com

WHERE TO GET HELP

All of Florida’s certified domestic violence centers provide confidential assistance, shelter, safety planning, legal advocacy, children’s programs and information and referrals. Who to call: Statewide crisis hotline: (800) 500-1119 Duval and Baker counties: Hubbard House, hotline 354-3114, hubbardhouse.org Clay County: Quigley House, hotline 284-0061, quigleyhouse.org Nassau County: Micah’s Place, hotline 225-9979, micahsplace.org St. Johns County: Betty Griffin House, hotline 824-1555, bettygriffinhouse.com

9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 Phone: 904.260.9770 Fax: 904.260.9773 e-mail: info@folioweekly.com website: folioweekly.com PUBLISHER David Brennan dbrennan@folioweekly.com • ext. 130

Road Hazard, Part I

I work in the Historic District in St. Augustine and I continue to be amazed at the decisions made by the city of St. Augustine. Is their goal to make commerce even more difficult than the economy already has? First, we had the parking meter fiasco. The only people pleased by that brilliant move were those who received the proceeds. Our ears are still burning with the complaints about the short length of time allotted. However, the most recent brain fart is the detour on King Street, one of the main arteries into the Historic District. Traffic has been reduced to one lane due to construction. Rather than detouring outbound traffic, they have rerouted traffic coming into the city. Brickbats to the city for making it difficult for people to get to us and easier for them to leave!

the economy and create jobs, the GOP is busy pandering to the RIGHT-WING FRINGE. First, Republican representatives tried to redefine rape. Now they’re telling women just how little they think their lives are worth: 163 Republicans signed their names to a bill that would redefine “rape,” and prohibit women who were raped while they were unconscious or otherwise unable to consent from receiving federal assistance, revealing just how extreme their agenda is. Republicans are wasting precious time debating very old, nonsensical issues, when they should be concentrating on creating jobs for the millions who have lost both their jobs and their homes. This tells me that Republicans are either monumentally stupid or they are complete hypocrites. Marjorie L. Jennings Jacksonville via email

K.M. Hawkins St. Augustine

Road Hazard, Part II

Flight Tracker

On behalf of St. Johns County Audubon Society, St. Johns County Shorebird Partnership and our many volunteers, thanks for the beautiful Bouquet (Bouquets & Brickbats, Feb. 8). Our project has been going on for several years and our volunteers have put in countless hours surveying and monitoring our beach dependent birds. It’s great to receive such positive publicity and appreciation from Folio Weekly magazine. Thanks again, Ned Shuler Shorebird Project Coordinator St. Johns County Audubon Society

Wrong on the Right

Republicans, who vowed to come to Washington and focus like a laser on the economy, are instead focusing like a laser

Republicans are wasting precious time debating very old, nonsensical issues, when they should be concentrating on creating jobs for the millions who have lost both their jobs and their homes.This tells me that Republicans are either monumentally stupid or they are complete hypocrites. on social issues, by trying to redefine rape, including a bill that could let hospitals refuse to end life-threatening pregnancies, and put the lives and health of women at risk. This is just one example of the Republicans’ extreme agenda. While Democrats work to improve

Editorial EDITOR Anne Schindler • themail@folioweekly.com • ext. 115 PHOTO EDITOR Walter Coker • wcoker@folioweekly.com • ext. 117 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Dan Brown • dbrown@folioweekly.com • ext. 128 STAFF WRITER Susan Cooper Eastman • sceastman@folioweekly.com • ext. 132 COPY EDITOR Marlene Dryden • mdryden@folioweekly.com • ext. 131 CARTOONISTS Derf, Tom Tomorrow CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Reyan Ali, Susan Clark Armstrong, Philip Booth, John E. Citrone, Hal Crowther, Julie Delegal, Joe Eknaian, Marvin R. Edwards, John Freeman, AG Gancarski, Dan Hudak, Shelton Hull, Steve Humphrey, MaryAnn Johanson, Danny Kelly, Keith Marks, Pat McLeod, Nick McGregor, mikewindy, Kara Pound, Alan Sculley, Christopher Shanley, Chuck Shepherd, Cole Smithey, Leah Weinberg and P.F. Wilson EDITORIAL INTERN Kelly Newman VIDEOGRAPHER Balin M. Hewitt

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Distribution

Re: The widening of Beach Boulevard from Hodges Boulevard to San Pablo Road (News, Feb. 8). Where is the bike lane? Drivers are not friendly to bicyclists under the best circumstances and when you combine a road hazard, angry driver and bicyclist, the cyclist is in danger. Do we wait for fatalities to consider safety? Chuck Patana Jacksonville via email

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Donna Danke Schöen

It is difficult to find the words to adequately thank our wonderful community. The fourth annual 26.2 with Donna was our biggest yet, and from the airport to the beaches, our incredible neighbors really stepped up to make everyone feel welcome. I know I say it every year, but the support out there was the best I’ve ever seen. From the beautifully decorated neighborhoods, to the fans who cheered for hours on the bridge, to the volunteers, police officers and firefighters who helped the 83-year-old cancer survivor cross the finish line in his third marathon (our very last runner), this was a just another great showing from the best place to live on the planet. Thank you for enduring the inevitable disruptions to your routine, and embracing the thousands of people who came here from all over the world. To quote just one, “The communities made this one of the most amazing experiences of my life.” I couldn’t agree more. Donna Deegan Jacksonville via email If you would like to respond to something that appeared in Folio Weekly, please send a signed letter (no anonymous or pseudonymous mail will be printed) along with address and phone number (for verification purposes only) to themail@folioweekly.com or THE MAIL, Folio Weekly, 9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256. Letters may be edited for space and clarity.

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Folio Weekly is published every Tuesday throughout Northeast Florida. It contains opinions of contributing writers that are not necessarily the opinion of this publication. Folio Weekly welcomes both editorial and photographic contributions. Calendar information must be received three weeks in advance of event date. Copyright © Folio Publishing, Inc. 2011. All rights reserved. Advertising rates and information are available on request. An advertiser purchases right of publication only. One free copy per person. Additional copies and back issues are $1 each at the office or $4 by mail, based on availability. First Class mail subscriptions are $48 for 13 weeks, $96 for 26 weeks and $189 for 52 weeks. Please recycle Folio Weekly. Folio Weekly is printed on recycled paper using soy-based inks. 44,200 press run • Audited weekly readership 110,860

FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 5

NewsBuzz Mr. Empathy “I grew up probably in the same situation as you guys. I started school in public housing. My dad had a sixth-grade education.” — Rick Scott speaking before African-American lawmakers last week, unfortunately echoing the famous lines of Steve Martin’s character in “The Jerk”: “I was born a poor black child … .” “He assumed that everyone [in the room] was poor and that can only be because you’re black,” Rep. Betty Reed of Tampa told the Miami Herald.

Twice Bitten A Jacksonville woman, who promised her baby for adoption to two separate out-of-state couples, kept the baby. And last week, she pled guilty to charges of grand larceny for taking $7,000 from a New York couple for food, clothing and rent — then reneging on the deal. According to the couple, Jessica Dreves, 33, cut off contact some months before delivering the child. They only learned that she’d promised the child to another couple when they hired a private detective to locate her.

Walter Coker Jim Miller at his home on the Trout River. “The whole point is not to do anything,” he says of his time in the Everglades, “but to be.”

My Life Poem I am from loud music booming, From playing in grassy field, From people splashing in salty water, And from the land of freedom from slavery. I am from nursing home worker to college teacher. I will be from small town to playing Philadelphia Eagles tight end. — By Henry Lee Caine, 11-year-old home-schooled student. His poem was included in The Sanctuary on 8th Street’s recent newsletter.

Lucky Number 32210 — Anyone living in that Westside ZIP code can have their pets spayed and neutered at no charge, thanks to a $200,000 grant that Jacksonville Animal Care and Protective Services received from PetSmart Charities. The city’s ACPS is focusing on the 32210 area because it takes more animals into the shelter from that ZIP code than from any other in the city.

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im Miller has been traveling into the Everglades for the past 45 years, ever since his family moved into a house at the eastern edge of Everglades National Park. Just 13 at the time, Miller was at the perfect age for notquite-safe explorations into a still-wild place. He’s spent much of his adult life recreating that feeling of adventure. Each year, the Jacksonville criminal appellate attorney treks to the Everglades at least eight times, including one month-long camping trip. For Miller, the trips into the Everglades are more than just an encounter with nature. They’re poetic inspiration. “I guess it’s like church to me,” he says. He hikes and canoes, catches fish and watches animals, but it’s an inner state he seeks. “The whole point is not to do anything, but to be,” he says. Poems come to him at quiet times, and in 2004, he started writing down his thoughts. A year later, he showed his poems to Jack Tamul, a local composer and Berklee College of Music-educated musician who does sound for environmental projects. Tamul was instantly struck by the beauty of Miller’s poems, saying they read like laments. Inspired to put the verse to music, Tamul worked out a piano line, which he conceived as the flow of water moving from Lake Okeechobee to the Kissimmee River, easing through the vast marsh plains and into Florida Bay. But Tamul knew music alone wouldn’t do justice to the pieces, or the place. He told Miller they needed to record the actual sounds of the Everglades — a task for which Miller was ideally suited. “I did know the sounds,” says Miller. “Where to get them, at what times. I knew

exactly where to go.” Speaking by telephone while traveling in Bristol, R.I., Tamul explains how the pair bought an expensive field recorder and a boom microphone. The goal was to capture the sounds of the place — a bull gator bellowing for a mate, a cricket frog clacking like two marbles striking, the whimpering warble of a gallinule. The result is “Pahayokee: A Plea for Life,” an operatic song cycle that takes the same name Native Americans gave the Everglades. (Pahayokee translates as “grassy water.”) Tamul discovered operatic baritone John Boehr when he attended the Tanglewood Music Festival in Lenox, Mass., and persuaded him to sing Miller’s poems. His father,

company founded in part by environmental author Bill Belleville, and which explores the environment and communities bounded to it. “One thing about the Everglades is that the light and texture and sounds, the birds and the insects and the gators is totally different from anyplace else in all America,” says Tamul. “It is so unique, so I tried to make the music draw on that.” It’s one of the first warm afternoons of spring and Jim Miller is sitting on the deck of his yellow tin-roofed cottage on the Trout River off Lem Turner Road. His wife Carol has placed a basket of assorted tea bags, a bowl of lemons, a pot of hot water and individual

“He was the only one brave enough to sit on a remote island at 2 or 3 a.m.,” says Jack Tamul of his friend Jim Miller. “It sounds like some horrible experiment for mosquito spray.” pianist David Boehr, a member of the Seattle Philharmonic Orchestra, also signed on. The song cycle was first performed at the Electro-Music Conference & Festival in Philadelphia in 2007 and at a benefit concert for the Santa Fe Conservation Trust in February 2010. The third live and only local performance is held Thursday, March 3 at Friday Musicale, 645 Oak St., Jacksonville, at 7:30 p.m. The Northeast Florida concert is a benefit for Equinox Documentaries, a film

bowls of nuts on the table in front of him. When Miller and Carol, a housing attorney for Jacksonville Area Legal Aid, bought the house 18 years ago, it was a one-room weekend fish camp with a wood-burning stove. They added porches and expanded it to 900 square feet, but it retains the feel of an old-timey fish camp. Carol Miller grew up in Homestead and Jim in southwest Miami-Dade County, and they gravitate to places that remind them of Old (Continues on page 8)

Eric Tanner

Down with the Mountain JTA will literally move mountains in response to community outcry over the enormous pile of dredge spoil it created along the Intracoastal Waterway just south of the Atlantic Boulevard bridge. Originally, the 30-foot-tall and 175-foot-wide pile was supposed to be hauled away as part of a wetland restoration project, but JTA piled it up as a cost-saving measure, creating the unlikeliest bit of topography in a four-county area. The leveling of the mound will disappoint Jacksonville Fire and Rescue Lt. Skip Smith, who turned it into a 9/11 memorial, complete with solar yard lights and a 6-foot-by-10-foot U.S. flag, but will please those who objected to the absurdity and visual blight of the pile. According to JTA, work on the site will begin within 30 days.

How the Other One Percent Lives The Legacy Trust Ponte Vedra Beach Home & Art Tour will open five homes for public tours located in The Plantation, Sawgrass Players Club, Marsh Landing and on Ponte Vedra Boulevard. Tickets to the self-guided tour, held from 10 a.m.-3 p.m. on March 5 can be purchased online from the Cultural Center at Ponte Vedra at ccpvb.org under “Events.” Individual tickets are $30 and 10 group tickets can be purchased for $250. The tour benefits the Cultural Center.

St. Augustine Alligator Farm, February 8

Bouquets to the Rotary Club of San Marco for helping a six-month-old from Grenada receive critical cardiovascular surgery. The Rotary Club raised $5,000 for two infants from developing countries who needed cardiovascular care and obtained a matching grant from the Rotary Foundation. The second child is scheduled for surgery in a few months. Bouquets to the St. Johns County Cultural Division for scoring another artistic home run. The division recently unveiled the brand new Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, and sold out the facility’s first two shows — Great Big Sea on Feb. 13 and Leon Redbone on Feb. 17. The new concert hall complements the county’s other cultural achivements, including the successful St. Augustine Amphitheatre. Brickbats to the Westside neighbors of Peter S. Qaoud, who was arrested last week for allegedly brutalizing his girlfriend and keeping her imprisoned for months. According to police reports, neighbors of Qaoud’s Flowers Avenue home told officers that the man beat the woman and boarded up the doors and windows to prevent her from escaping — a terrifying allegation that neighbors apparently chose not to report to police. Qaoud is in jail on $225,000 bail. His girlfriend is in a domestic violence shelter. FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 7

NewsBuzz

(Continued from page 6) Florida. This neighborhood off Lem Turner, with its mix of whites and blacks, professionals and shrimpers, people who’ve just discovered it and people who’ve been here for generations, fits in with their idea of a thriving community. The Trout River flows just a steep drop from the back porch in a yard full of little surprises: an old chain-link fence right by the water covered with Carolina jasmine, thick muscadine grape arbors that look as though they might have been killed in the winter’s freezes, fig trees and towering live oaks. Miller has a mountain-like stillness about him, but since this is Florida, it’s perhaps more apt to compare him to the inscrutable stillness of a mangrove thicket. He’s heavyset with a bushy, reddish beard, sporting a well-worn canvas hat. “This is the hat,” he says, meaning the one that he wears on his journeys into the wild. He keeps his canoe stored in the side yard and uses it whenever he can. Even during the annual Florida Criminal Defense Attorneys meeting, which usually takes place at a posh resort, Miller typically chooses to stay at a nearby state park. While his colleagues are sipping cocktails, Miller will emerge from the

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wild like the Creature from the Black Lagoon. This year, while his fellow attorneys enjoy the Four Seasons, he’ll camp at Jonathan Dickinson State Park on the Loxahatchee River. Tamul says if there were anyone who could capture the sounds they wanted for “Pahayokee,” it’s Miller. “I knew Jim was a real advocate for the Everglades and that he spends most of his time trucking through the swamp and knows it better than anybody I’ve ever met,” says Tamul. Both agreed they wanted a true sound that reflected the rhythms of the Everglades. Miller owns just about every recording made of the Everglades (including The Kingston Trio ballad, “Everglades,” and other ambient recordings), but says it’s clear that most of the songwriters never set foot in the ’Glades, and that the ambient sound composers didn’t know what they were hearing. “There’d be frogs that are only out in the summer, mixed with birds that are only there in the winter,” Miller says. Other composers mixed sounds together, Tamul says, “Cook them up, and see what they had.” Both men

While his colleagues are sipping cocktails, Miller will emerge from the wild like the Creature from the Black Lagoon. wanted a sound that reflected the true rhythms of the Everglades, but also had a texture true to place and season. After trial and error, Miller figured out the best place to sample and record, capturing a field of sound like a bait net dragged through water. Tamul considers himself a Floridian,

having moved to Jacksonville in the early 1970s to study at Jacksonville University. He was a student of classical music at Berklee College of Music in Boston, but he wanted to study the Moog synthesizer, and JU had one of the largest electronic music studios in the U.S. He graduated in 1971 with a degree in musical composition and theory, did post-graduate work in Finland and went on to compose music and sound pieces for theater, film, museum exhibits, planetariums and television. “All the sounds utilized were all recorded by Jim,” says Tamul. “He was the only one brave enough to sit on a remote island at 2 or 3 a.m.” It wasn’t duty for the faint-hearted. “It sounds like some horrible experiment for mosquito spray,” he jokes. “But [Miller] says that’s the best time to catch gators.” Despite knowing where to go to get the specific strains he needed, it took Miller four years to record bull gators in a bellowing bout. He knew he had to go in early spring, when the reptiles had come out of hibernation and wanted to mate, but before the big rains, when their habitat would expand greatly. The

“All the sounds utilized were all recorded by Jim,” says Tamul. “He was the only one brave enough to sit on a remote island at 2 or 3 a.m.” Anhinga Trail, a boardwalk that crosses Taylor Slough, is a prime gator gathering spot during the dry season. Year after year, Miller would set up his boom mike hours before dawn and get nothing. In 2008, after three years of failure, he decided to go during the last two weeks of April. For six straight nights, he got nothing. “Finally, during the last week I was sitting there — the microphone was set up and the tape was rolling and the mosquitoes were so thick — and then I heard that first bellow. And then it was just magic. One called, then another one answered, and another one.” Asked if he ever had the desire in the Everglades to stand up and bellow out the joy of man, Miller blinked and said, “No. I was doing not the song of myself, but the song of the Everglades.” Tamul used the audio that Miller collected to form the rhythmic basis of the composition, and tried to create a call-and-response between the sounds of the Everglades and the human vocals of the opera. He also created a sound box for Boehr to use as he sings, to entwine his voice with the cry of an ibis or the bellow of a gator at the push of a button. The result is a 40-minute ode to the fierce beauty of place, and its imperiled future. “Some people go to the Everglades and they say they don’t see what the big deal is,” says Miller. “But I think the Everglades is a place you really have to learn about in order to appreciate.” Susan Cooper Eastman sceastman@folioweekly.com

“Pahayokee: A Plea for Life” is performed at 7:30 p.m. on Thursday, March 3 at the Friday Musicale building, 645 Oak St., Jacksonville. Admission is $20. 355-7584.

FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 9

Walter Coker

Remembrance

Space-Age, Near Dust

he light is out on the 17th floor on Lomax Street, the retirement community Alan Justiss called home at the end of his life. The light, like the man, was a beacon for people seeking the kind of real talk that is getting harder to find. No more late-night phone calls with the smell of beer and cigarettes and wet typewriter ink digitized and dispersed by satellites into time and space, where scholars in distant galaxies transcribe them now. The greatest writer our city has produced will spend eternity nestled in a pine box in a pauper’s grave, maybe with a marker or a mention and some care to his last intention. He asked that his overworked Olivetti typewriter go underground with him, April, 2010 laid across a chest clothed cheaper than the baby Jesus, his hands clasped across corroding keys in propriety and prayer. His entire body gave out slowly, over the course of 20 years, but you see those hands and you know that serious work was done. Ten fingers, carpals coiled like copper wires, fused to arms that did old-school labor, did the work of a thousand angels, to pull thousands of men and women closer to the light, whether we wanted to go or not. Ten fingers, 10 pages done daily, every day, at minimum, since JFK was POTUS — and what did you do for your country today? What did any of us do? What will we do now that he is not there to point out our mistakes before they have been made? We will make those mistakes. Alan Justiss would have been a great judge or politician, but he just could not stop telling people the truth. It’s a sad fact of life that we all ask questions when truthful answers cannot be borne. The smart money lies in spin and subterfuge, obfuscations oscillating like subatomic particles around a nucleus of truth — or, as AJ would say, “the exegesis.” He was always mindful of the need not to waste time on feathery language. You have a certain amount of space, so maximize it — provide the relevant data and make the reading smooth and enjoyable for the customer. Every word, every space, every punctuation, even the white space around the words, matters.

Alan Justiss

March 7, 1943 - Feb. 14, 2011 Untitled

On the outside life now I am looking into death to see it before it finds me writing.

Alan, you’ll be missed.

So near the life I have lived the edge short of stories.

In this slow death I see the hurry jump between the rain drops. I open my mouth & I find there empty is nothing you hear stays. In one ear we seem to hear where no one saw us looking. This is more than I can take so I can give it all away. I will dress myself for the time will come to find me naked no longer than the minute I did not take to dress this up. There will always be more of me not there than all I was when even here. Just for me now I feel this & you keep the name away from me like strangers.

Alan Justiss January 12, 2011 10 | FOLIO WEEKLY | FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011

Shelton Hull sheltonhull@gmail.com Walter Coker

Last week, nearly two decades after Alan Justiss first appeared in the pages of Folio Weekly, he died. Justiss had been sick for some time from a variety of ailments, but it didn’t stop him from writing. A legendary, even epic drinker, Alan was an even more prolific poet, creating some 50,000 poems in his lifetime. By turns dark, humorous and poignant, Justiss’ poems were unblinking reflections on life and the longing of the human heart. His work inspired a generation of Northeast Florida writers and artists, and his loss will be keenly felt. During the last few weeks, after his release from the hospital, Justiss was too sick to drink, and unable to write. But we include one of his last poems here, as well as tributes from some of those who knew him best.

He was found dead in his bed, one more Riverside sunrise burned out into day, on my birthday, Valentine’s Day. It was the best- and worst-ever at once. The man was built of some material that does not exist anymore. He was literally about to die just a month ago — he held court at St. Vincent’s, making plans, then suddenly the Angel of Death got a contract gig in Egypt, and he was fine again, briefly. Even after years of hoarding a wildly disproportionate share of every conceivable earthly delight, it took old age, bronchitis, pneumonia, emphysema, cancer, malnutrition, congestive heart failure, the aftereffects of having a lung removed and the immobility of a broken hip suffered in a vicious mugging years ago combined to kill him — and even then, it took damn near a decade. It is unthinkable that anyone would be surprised, yet the better you knew him, the more surprising it was. Even God tweeted, “WTF?” The only thing harder than overstating Alan Justiss’ role in the cultural evolution of Northeast Florida over the last 40 years would be stating it precisely. It would take an entire issue of Folio Weekly just to hold the names of the people he’s impacted and influenced. I can only speak for myself. I read about him in Folio Weekly when I was in high school, 17 years ago. I called him, and kept calling. I can hardly conceive of how vastly different my life would be had I not met him. Many of my closest friends and colleagues I met directly or indirectly through him. Many others I’d not heard from in years, until just a few days ago. It is very much the end of an era. We hope the power of his work persists, and that future generations can reap an approximation of the benefits we enjoyed from his life. The task of fully acquiring and arranging all those manuscripts is likely a logistical nightmare, never mind the need to digitize it all, and it’s possible (and hoped by many) that the task is taken up by the Jacksonville Public Library. But such matters are best reserved for a later time. Right now, the flags of our city should be flying at half-staff, if not also upside-down. What we have lost cannot be regained, only recapitulated. RIP.

Inside the trailer, June 1994

Walter Coker

Alan’s Westside trailer, June 1994

Everything Else Begins There, Too. (for Alan Justiss) I pull up the dirt driveway. past the white house with bars on its windows and doors (he calls it the Big House), and through a group of trees i see the wobbly shack he calls home. A 6ft. by 10ft. trailer, more rust than metal now with makeshift screen door if you’d call it a door and public radio playing most of the time competing with the perpetual click click click of fingers to keys hammers to paper and the ding of reaching the end of each line. the yard a shallow mud pool interrupted by the occasional patch of grass, is littered with beer cans and cat food containers and food boxes and rotted furniture. the guest area a group of 3 lawn chair skeletons spread before A sheet of glass resting on milk crates cigarette butts abound Across ground table chairs. Across the hood of the light blue dinosaur of a pick-up truck that hasn’t tasted fuel in an eternity. Conversation with my friend begins with poetry, as everything else begins there, too. and weeding through the poetry, ideas are discovered. names. places. events. From the best fucks To the worst fuck-ups All thoughts shared in words spoken as in words written. cigarettes are smoked. marijuana is smoked. the reality

in which I live is quickly smoked away and i become part of his world. the stench of fifteen cats, of rotting food, is gone now. the shell that sits beside me in old brown shoes, heavily stained medical pants and nothing more seems to hold an answer or two. He manages to spill them occasionally between drunken rants and explicit recreations of memories every kind. In his voice, it is easy to hear the click click click -dinghe cannot escape it, neither can i. we go inside. He gives to me the only comfortable seat in the place and himself sits on a paint-stained stepping stool. The floor is a river of empty beer cases cigarette boxes ashes cans cups and magazines. cigarette butts numbering in the thousandssmoked down to the filter and what is not smoked tossed wherever it may fall. The ashtray on the table seems more a sarcastic nod at convention than a functional object i use it nonetheless. he does not. conversation continues now touching wild experiences on the road and readings with Ginsberg and Snyder. it is completely different to hear him talk than to hear him read. Still, the words all sound the same. i lean closer, he says take care not to lean on the table,

it is near collapse and watch when moving my feet to avoid knocking over a plastic bottle, his urinal. And still, the talk goes on. no matter how non-existent the foul inhuman living conditions try to become, there is something about his voice that keeps them alive. Even when he speaks of good memories his words stink as much as the ashes that I can not avoid, no matter where I move my arm. It dawns on me now that: I have not made a visit in over 2 years, since he lived in the big house and through the moldy atmosphere that fills this place, I can not imagine why it has been so long. to most, his world is pathetic. disqusting. hopeless. pitiful. sad. to him, it seems to be all those things as well. to me, too. there is nothing of beauty here. and in its lack of beautyin its utter disregard for it, exists all that is beautiful and ugly and perfect and forever unfixable. The conversation seems wonderfully endless, until it is time to go. before we say goodbye, a trip to the food store down the street for a 12-pack and can I bum a couple bucks for smokes.

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By Nestor Gil Jr. September 9, 1995

Gil is a native Jacksonville musician and performance artist. He currently lives and teaches in Brunswick, Maine. FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 11

Walter Coker

Alan’s Westside trailer, June 1994

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1478 RIVERPLACE BLVD. SAN MARCO (ON THE SOUTHBANK)

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By Nestor Gil Jr. September 9, 1995

Gil is a native Jacksonville musician and performance artist. He currently lives and teaches in Brunswick, Maine. FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 11

The FANCY Awards H

12 | FOLIO WEEKLY | FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011

ey, everybody! I’m the ACADEMY AWARDS! OOH-LA-LA! Look how fancy I am! I’ll be on TV next Sunday, Feb. 27, on ABC at 5:30 p.m., so everybody should stop whatever it is they’re doing and watch me because I’m sooooo super IMPORTANT and soooo FANCY! Oooooh! Look at my fancy statue! Ooooooh! Look at all the fancy people! Ooooooh! Look at all the fancy clothes! Currently, I’m wearing a powdered wig, a ruffled collar and skintight breeches, and I’m waving a pretty lace hankie in the air because OOOOOOOOOOH I’M SO FANCY! As you have probably figured out, I don’t like the Oscars very much. Why? BECAUSE I DON’T GET IT, THAT’S WHY. I don’t get how acting can be considered a competition, and dropping bowling balls off a freeway bridge isn’t. I don’t get why some people get fancy gold statues for doing their jobs, and I get a huge chunk of my stinkin’ paycheck deducted because of some nonexistent thing called “Social Security”! I don’t get why these actors and actresses are dressed like they’re the Queen of Fancyland — especially when I saw most of them just last week in Us magazine dressed in sweats, shopping at Walmart and digging their underpants out of their crack! I … DON’T … GET IT!! However, a lot of the sexiest people I know love the Oscars, so if I want to get lucky that night, I better figure out a way to get with the program. I’m sure that’s why so many people concoct elaborate drinking games to entertain themselves during the Academy Awards. (How 2011 else is one supposed to avoid swallowing the business end of a revolver?) That’s why I’ve come up with my own game to play during the Oscars — and while it does have a copious amount of binge drinking involved, it also has a lot of other fun stuff, too! Ladies and gentlemen, may I present … WM.™ STEVEN HUMP-ME’S ACADEMY AWARD™ OVERDOSE GAME™! Here’s how to play: If hosts James Franco and Anne Hathaway do a musical number right off the top, invite the host’s wife to the bathroom for two bumps of coke. Make out on the sink. Then take two more bumps of coke. Whenever anyone mentions the film “The Social Network,” scream “Nerd pile!” and throw your body on top of the nerdiest person in the room. Laugh uproariously, drink an entire bottle of vodka, stop laughing and start sobbing loudly in the corner. Whenever anyone at the Oscar party claims that baby movies like “Toy Story 3” deserve anything other than adult scorn, hit them in the face with a soaking, gravy-filled diaper and yell, “HERE’S YOUR DIAPER, DIAPER BABY!” Then inject two syringes of heroin. No matter what movie wins for best picture, suddenly leap to your feet and screech at your host, “BOOYAH! I told you ‘Black Swan’ would win best picture! You owe me $5,000!” If he refuses to pay up immediately, kidnap his dog until he does pay. Drink three Heinekens. (If necessary, substitute making out with

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the host’s wife for the host’s husband, substitute heroin for PCP-laced roofies, and substitute Anne Hathaway for Billy Crystal. I like him. He’s fancy.)

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 22 8:00 FOX GLEE In this “very special episode,” Figgins lectures the kids on the dangers of alcohol. (Like, never buy it for interns!) 9:30 FOX TRAFFIC LIGHT Mike meets a sexy female colleague who’s a little too much like him.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 23 8:00 CW AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL Season premiere! The new gaggle of models are instructed to climb inside a huge hamster ball. Let the humiliation begin! 9:00 CW SHEDDING FOR THE WEDDING Debut! Overweight couples compete to lose pounds before their big day. (I give their marriages two years tops.)

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 24 9:00 NBC THE OFFICE Michael’s best bro Todd Packer lobbies for a desk job — which sends the office into gagging fits and seizures. 10:00 TLC BABIES BEHIND BARS Debut! Unfortunately, not about toddler correctional units. This revolves around moms who give birth in prison. Boo.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 25 10:30 IFC PORTLANDIA Season finale! The poop flies when the Mayor (Kyle MacLaughlin) recruits Fred and Carrie to bring major league baseball to Portland. 11:00 STARZ CAMELOT Debut! A sexy update of the Arthurian legend — because as we modern people know, “If it don’t have sex, it ain’t shit.”

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 26 9:00 SYFY AREA 51 — Movie An alien wreaks havoc when reporters visit the Area 51 base! (Note: I don’t watch these movies unless Debbie Gibson is in them, and this time she’s not.)

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 27 4:00 ABC OSCAR’S RED CARPET Ooooh! Look at all the fanciful fancy pants looking sooooo FANCY! 5:30 ABC THE ACADEMY AWARDS I’m putting $5,000 down on “Black Swan” to win Best Picture. Any takers? (See column above before saying “yes.”)

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 28 9:00 CW GOSSIP GIRL Russell’s plans to destroy the Bass family are foiled by a mound of cocaine demanding to hop inside his nose. 10:00 E! THE FASHION POLICE Joan Rivers and Co. yank down all the fancy pants at this year’s Academy Awards. Wm.™ Steven Humphrey steve@portlandmercury.com

Sportstalk Meyer the Liar

When Coaches Ignore History, We All Lose

he great thing about being a public figure in America is that there are second chances after things go wrong. Consider Eliot Spitzer, driven from the governorship of New York in disgrace over a call-girl scandal; he ended up with the 8 p.m. slot on CNN weeknights. Charlie Sheen, meanwhile, finds that his career and his show, “Two and a Half Men,” are even hotter since he hit rehab. Like JFK said in the Bay of Pigs aftermath: The more you [mess] up, the more they love you. Maybe this is why Urban Meyer’s post-coaching turn into a college football commentator and pundit has worked so well. As my faithful readers know, Meyer stuck around Gainesville too long. He should’ve left when Tebow did. Clearly, he had no plan for what to do afterwards, if last season’s performances were any indication. All the

he is attacking the NFL right now and trying to bring respect and order, and I just love the way he is approaching it. If college football gets that, we will have a chance to get back to that great game we all love.” OMG. LOL. First of all, let’s begin with the halcyon days of college football that was the mid-’80s. Allow me to quote this, from John Waterston’s “College Football: History, Spectacle, Controversy”: “In the late 1970s and ’80s, a series of scandals had come to light or were rumbling just below the surface. In the early 1980s, several major scandals had erupted at big-time institutions, leading the normally quiescent college presidents to draw up plans for an NCAA Presidents’ commission. By one estimate, half of the 106 big-time college football teams suffered scandals from 1980 to 1989.” The first program he mentioned after that paragraph? Your Fighting Gators, who racked up 107 infractions under the tutelage of Coach Charley Pell — hired because of his success at Clemson, where he cheated to win. Pell even enlisted flunkies to spy on his conference rivals, according to Waterston. Certainly everyone involved knew that Pell was more corrupt than a federal budget. So why was he there? Because he’d found a way to win. What did the Gators lose because of the corruption at the heart of the UF program? For starters, they lost the 1984 SEC title. They lost scholarships, as is usual with scandal. And they lost ground to FSU and Miami over the next decade or so. Urban Meyer doesn’t recognize any of this stuff when he talks, and none of his interviewers is going to force him to acknowledge reality. The truth is, college sports have always been corrupt, and with the stakes higher now, the corruption is deeper. Recruits on campus visits get whatever they want, from the comeliest coeds to the best liquor and drugs, all so they might sign. Is that “fair”? No, but it’s how the business works. It’s how it worked three decades ago, and how it’ll work as long as it exists. Meyer was definitely comfortable with the moral ambiguities of a major college program — Gators got arrested during his stint as often as players on any other team. If Urban Meyer wanted to actually perform a service in his current role, he might talk with a bit more specificity about the process. Instead, he’s opted for obfuscation, and his enablers at ESPN and its ilk are all for it.

The truth is, college sports have always been corrupt, and with the stakes higher now, the corruption is deeper. caterwauling and carrying on about his health issues? Smoke and mirrors. This is known. Just like it’s known that the smart money has the NCAA dropping the hammer on Gainesville, just like they did on Southern California. Of course, Crumblin’ Urb won’t be around to suffer the impact. What Urban Meyer will be doing instead is issuing pronouncements, like the one he gave from an Indiana radio station, full of hubris and deception, misrepresentation and baldfaced lies. Read this, friends, and insert a laugh track anywhere and everywhere you see fit. “It is out-of-control with that stuff [corruption] right now and we have got to get that back on track. Twenty-five years ago, and I am sure you know, if you had to deal with some of the stuff you are dealing with the off-thefield, the agent issues, the violation issues and all the garbage that is out there right now, I certainly would not have gotten into coaching. Hopefully with the powers that be and all the right people, I know one thing: The NFL Commissioner has got a great outlook the way

AG Gancarski themail@folioweekly.com FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 13

14 | FOLIO WEEKLY | FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011

Reasons to leave the house this week RAP IT UP LEGENDS OF HIP HOP

CIVIL RIGHTS MLK LUNCHEON

Salt-n-Pepa’s Legends of Hip Hop Tour is a veritable who’s who of ’80s rap artists who rocked the mic when neon was king and big-ass clocks were the ultimate bling. Along with Salt-n-Pepa (don’t forget DJ Spinderella!), scheduled to appear are Whodini, Doug E. Fresh, Kurtis Blow and MC Lyte. The whole thang kicks off Friday, Feb. 25 at 8 p.m. at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $43.50 and $53.50. 630-3900.

The award-winning journalist, author and commentator Juan Williams is the keynote speaker at the 30th annual Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Scholarship Luncheon held on Thursday, Feb. 24 at 1:30 p.m. at University of North Florida’s University Center Grand Banquet Hall, 12000 Alumni Drive, Jacksonville. Tickets are $30. Williams discusses the historical foundations and contemporary realities of Civil Rights in America, though one assumes he’ll at least acknowledge his recent controversial dismissal from NPR. 620-2878.

CELLULOID AMELIA ISLAND FILM FEST

For the past four decades, former Jefferson Airplane copilots and founding members Jorma Kaukonen and Jack Casady have been blues traveling under the name Hot Tuna, performing incendiary acoustic and electric sets of both original and traditional tunes. The band, led by those two Rock & Roll Hall of Famers, is joined by Charlie Musslewhite and Jim Lauderdale for an evening of Hot Tuna Blues on Sunday, Feb. 27 at 8 p.m. at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. Tickets are $35. 355-2787.

COUNTRY TRAVIS TRITT

While country peers of the late ’80s and early ’90s relied on a squeaky-clean image (see George Strait), sweetie-pie pop (Reba!) or swung on the pop charts with a mighty mullet (hello, Billy Ray), Travis Tritt trod the ornery path of a Southern Rock outlaw, with chart-topping redneck and roadhouse anthems like “Ten Feet Tall and Bulletproof” and “The Whiskey Ain’t Workin’.” Grammy and CMA winner Tritt performs a solo acoustic set on Thursday, Feb. 24 at 7:30 p.m. at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach. Tickets are $49.95 and $79.95. 471-1965.

The third annual Amelia Island Film Festival runs Thursday, Feb. 24 through Sunday, Feb. 27 at various venues in Fernandina Beach, offering workshops, panel discussions, and screenings of 40 feature and short films, including the 2010 Civil Rights documentary “Freedom Riders” and films “Ten Years Later” and “Beneath the Blue.” Admission ranged from $30-$125. 335-1110. ameliaislandfilmfestival.org

sure pick

SUN, FEB. 27 Allison V. Smith

Scotty Hall

ROCK LEGENDS HOT TUNA

GREAT SCOT! HIGHLAND GAMES

“Hey na, Angus! There’ll be no Kirkin’ O’ the Tartan in that wee Lady Gaga meat kilt!” The 16th annual Northeast Florida Scottish Games and Festival are held on Saturday, Feb. 26 from 9 a.m.-10 p.m. at Clay County Fairgrounds, 2497 S.R. 16 W., Green Cove Springs. The event features traditional Scottish challenges of strength, a parade, food and drink, live music by Seven Nations, Mother grove, Highland Reign, and Ron Davis, kids’ activities, a re-enactors camp, bagpipes galore, “Scottish” animals (creepy) and even battle-axe throwing! Advance tickets are $10; $12 at the gate. Kids ages 10 and younger get in free. 725-5744. neflgames.com

OLD 97S

While Old 97’s borrowed its name from a long-ago ballad that mourned a legendary locomotive crash, since 1993, the Texas-bred band has stayed on course, releasing 14 offerings of signature honky-tonk power-pop. The alt-country pioneers perform with Those Darlins on Sunday, Feb. 27 at 8 p.m. at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Tickets are $17. 246-2473. FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 15

Emo UFO: Alex Pettyfer is all aglow in the cinematic “No. 2” known as “I Am Number Four.”

Digital Dump

“Twilight” plus “Harry Potter” minus good science fiction equals lame teenybopper flick I Am Number Four *G@@

Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach

igh school is hard. It’s even harder when you’re a secret alien from another planet, hiding from big scary guys with enormous feet and weird tattoos who are after you for reasons no one really understands. Except maybe that you’re the last of your kind. Well, apart from your alien-warrior protector, who isn’t specially numbered like you are. And now that No. 1, No. 2 and No. 3 — and, presumably, their protectors — are dead, you’re next. Or something. For some reason. In space, no one can hear you yawn. Why are these numbered kids so important? Why are the bad aliens with the big feet so inconsistent in their badness, because they could be having fun decimating Earth and the six-billion-plus humans on it, instead of hunting down one random bland, blond kid? Who cares? John Smith (the exceptionally bland, blond Alex Pettyfer) is a sad, brooding and adorable cute alien guy! He uses his awesome alien powers to come to the defense of geeks getting bullied! He likes sensitive, artistic girls! And they like him back! Sigh. It’s just like “Twilight,” except he’s from outer space instead of inner night. It’s just like any of the “Harry Potter,” movies, minus the charm and humor. If life on other planets is just like life on Earth, except the bland blond kid’s palms glow with alien “X-men” superpowers, I’m going to be very disappointed by the universe. Even John’s supposedly kick-ass alien warriorguardian is kinda lame: Henri (Timothy Olyphant) lets John take in a beagle puppy that is clearly trouble; like it’s surely gonna turn out to be an alien with giant acid-drooling fangs or something. And if even I could smell that one a

16 | FOLIO WEEKLY | FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011

mile away, why couldn’t the guy who’s supposed to be an actual kick-ass alien warrior-guardian notice the aroma of this predictable plot? One saving grace: At least Henri is played by the most excellent and very handsome Timothy Olyphant, so I wasn’t 100 percent bored out my skull — only about 99 percent. And it’s because

In space, no one can hear you yawn. Olyphant’s riveting talents are wasted here. Why couldn’t the movie be about a last-of-his-kindalien who’s having an early midlife crisis at age 40 rather than one who is 16? Because using adolescence and high school as metaphors for feeling outcast and alienated hasn’t quite yet been done to death? If there is a new nuance to find in that cliché, “Four” doesn’t find it. I suppose if big dumb movies like this one can’t even draw human people in a believable way, we shouldn’t expect them to draw alien people in a believably alien way. When Henri tries to persuade John to dump his nerdybut-hot crush Sarah (Dianna Agron) because aliens “don’t love like the humans” (you see, they love forever! Sigh!), it’s intended to make any swooning teenaged girls watching give up their memberships to Team Twilight or Team Potter and come over to Team Four. Maybe that’ll work. Maybe those girls will even appreciate how yucky John must feel when he gets his “alien legacy” right in class! OMG! Glowing palms might be cooler than getting your period, but it’s just as embarrassing. We’ll know, perhaps, if fickle teenaged audiences have switched their allegiance if the sequel that is threatened here comes to pass. Until then, beam me up — there are no signs of intelligent life or movie-making in this goofy flick. Mary Ann Johanson themail@folioweekly.com

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The grim water-crisis documentary “Flow” indicts the commodification of our greatest resource Flow: For Love of Water **G@

Film not rated Monday, Feb. 28 at 7 p.m., followed by a Q&A with Riverkeeper Neil Armingeon 5 Points Theatre, 1028 Park St., Jacksonville Tickets are $8.50; $7.50 for seniors, military and students 359-0047

n Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s often-misquoted 18th-century work, “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner,” a ship’s crew mourns their fate: “Water, water everywhere/nor any drip to drink.” While the premise of the film “Flow” isn’t as poetic, the overall effect on the audience is no less dramatic. Filmed in the U.S., Africa and Asia, director Irena Salina’s documentary focuses on the realities of planetary water shortage through interviews, animation and (at times distracting) statistics. Similar films, like Alex Gibney’s “Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room” (2005) and Al Gore’s Academy Award-winning “An Inconvenient Truth” (2006), helped shed light on global warming and corporate complicity in the planet’s energy crises. Salina’s “Flow” focuses on our water supply and its remarkable cycle, which we seemingly cannot help but disrupt and destroy. “Flow” posits, as have many influential scientists, that we are headed for The Sixth Great Extinction. (For those keeping score, the end of the dinosaurs was No. 5.) And water is a key reason. Water is a $400-billion-a-year industry, right behind oil and electricity, and the film points the finger for the shortage at two main culprits: World Bank Group and its apparent puppet-organization, World Water Council. While the former makes no apologies for its business practices (and after all, World Bank Group has legal immunity — globally), the film reveals that the latter is partially governed and essentially controlled by the heads of two of the greatest H2O companies on earth. “Privatization” is the watchword of the film, as multinational conglomerates gleefully and brazenly exploit Earth’s water resources through chemical-rich agriculture,

bottled water plants and even the damming of the world’s rivers. The film also points out that while the world’s population spends $100 billion annually on bottled water, a third of all brands still contains chemicals like arsenic and assorted bacteria. More disturbingly, 40 percent of the illnesses we dub “the flu” are actually waterborne illnesses picked up in the shower. If “Flow” has a weakness, it’s the use of statistics, which clog the screen and occasionally disturb the … well, flow, of the film. When the Jacksonville Film Festival screens “Flow” as part of its Reel People Film Series, St. Johns Riverkeeper Neil Armingeon will be on hand for a Q&A afterward. While “Flow” focuses primarily on global privatization, Armingeon says that Florida is hardly immune from the big buy-out. “Here, the closest example would be waterbottling plants that come into the area,” he says. “In a way, it is privatization, because the Florida water laws say that we ‘own the water.’” And after hearing of a proposed water-bottling plant to be located next to Lake George, Armingeon believes that opposing this industry is a good thing. He also believes in the grassroots solutions proposed in the film. “We have a Rain Barrel project that we are kicking off in March. Simply put, the barrel collects water from your roof and you can use that for outside irrigation.” In addition to the fact that it conserves water, he says, the fact that it simply promotes awareness of individual water consumption makes it a global good. Armingeon adds, “The solution is, ‘What do I do as an individual?’ not ‘What difference does it make?’” Some projections for our own water supply suggest that by 2030, Northeast Florida could have anywhere from a 30 to 90 million gallon water deficit. So what devious, corporate cabal is behind this nefarious plot? “Everybody wants to point the finger, but I always say, look to your left and to your right — it’s us,” Armingeon warns. ”We need to value water more and conserve it.”

Dan Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com

Drain You: The privatization of water is in effect in the cautionary documentary “Flow.”

FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 17

Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach This rom-com, starring Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston, is about a plastic surgeon who gets his office manager to pose as his disgruntled, soon-to-be-ex-wife in a bid to pick up sympathetic women. Co-starring Kevin Nealon, Rachel Dratch, Dave Matthews, Minka Kelly and Nicole Kidman. Waitaminute … Dave Matthews? JUSTIN BIEBER: NEVER SAY NEVER **@@ Rated G • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach OMG!! A surprisingly fun film about commerce and celebrity in the age of information overload.

“Can we turn down the treble on the 50-piece sitar orchestra but turn up the reverb-drenched bullfrogs?” Justin Bieber and Jaden Smith mix their new concept album, “Psilocybin Jesus Von Nebula: The Chosen Child,” in “Never Say Never.”

AREA THEATERS

AMELIA ISLAND Carmike Amelia Island 7, 1132 S. 14th St., 261-9867 ARLINGTON & REGENCY AMC Regency 24, 9451 Regency Square Blvd., 264-3888 BAYMEADOWS & MANDARIN Regal Avenues 20, 9525 Philips Highway, 538-3889 BEACHES Regal Beach Blvd. 18, 14051 Beach Blvd., 992-4398 FIVE POINTS 5 Points Theatre, 1028 Park St., 359-0047 NORTHSIDE Hollywood River City 14, River City Marketplace, 12884 City Center Blvd., 757-9880

FILM RATINGS **** ***@ **@@ *@@@

LONDON CALLING AVON CALLING HOG CALLING COLD CALLING

NOW SHOWING 7 KHOON MAAF **@@ Film not rated • AMC Regency Square This Bollywood import is a dark comedy/thriller that tells the story of a woman who kills all seven of her husbands. Every one of ’em. ANOTHER YEAR **G@ Rated PG-13 • Epic Theatre St. Augustine Jim Broadbent and Ruth Sheen star in director Mike Leigh’s story about an elderly couple who remain happy as they weather the drama storms of kith and kin. BARNEY’S VERSION **G@ Rated R • AMC Regency Square, Pot Belly’s, Regal Beach Winning adaptation of Mordecai Richler’s novel about the irascible womanizer Barney Panofsky (Paul Giamatti) as he faces Alzheimer’s. Co-starring Dustin Hoffman and Rosamund Pike. BIG MOMMAS: LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON **@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach This comedy marks the long-awaited return of Martin Lawrence to the silver screen as an FBI agent who dresses up like an overweight, meddling granny. Damn! BLACK SWAN ***@ Rated R • Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Director Darren Aronofsky’s disturbing psychological thriller stars Natalie Portman as a sheltered ballerina who steps into her darker side during a production of “Swan Lake.”

18 | FOLIO WEEKLY | FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011

ORANGE PARK AMC Orange Park 24, 1910 Wells Road, (888) AMC-4FUN Carmike Fleming Island 12, 1820 Town Center Blvd., 621-0221 SAN MARCO San Marco Theatre, 1996 San Marco Blvd., 396-4845 SOUTHSIDE Cinemark Tinseltown, 4535 Southside Blvd., 998-2122 ST. AUGUSTINE Epic Theatres, 112 Theatre Drive, 797-5757 IMAX Theater, World Golf Village, 940-IMAX Pot Belly’s, 36 Granada St., 829-3101

THE COMPANY MEN **G@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Tommy Lee Jones, Kevin Costner, Chris Cooper and Ben Affleck are a group of wealthy execs who go from corner offices to the street corner after a round of corporate downsizing. THE EAGLE ***@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Starring Channing Tatum, Jamie “Billy Elliott” Bell and Donald Sutherland, this historical action flick is the saga of a Roman centurion who battles Pict tribes while investigating the disappearance of his father’s legion in 140 A.D.-era Britain. GNOMEO & JULIET ***@ Rated G • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach This cute animated retelling of Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet,” set in a land of garden gnomes, is an inventive and lighthearted way to hip the kids to one of the Bard’s beloved works. THE GREEN HORNET *@@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues Somebody call an exterminator! So begins the inevitable “Seth Rogen Backlash” with this dull, unoriginal superhero flick that never takes off. I AM NUMBER FOUR *G@@ Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Reviewed in this issue. JUST GO WITH IT **G@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square,

THE KING’S SPEECH **** Rated R • Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Pot Belly’s, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach, San Marco Theatre Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush deliver Oscar-worthy performances in this uplifting based-on-real-life tale. LITTLE FOCKERS *G@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park When Greg Focker’s (Ben Stiller) father-in-law Jack (Robert De Niro) wants to pick a successor as head-of-clan, he wonders if Greg can cut it. THE MECHANIC G@@@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Cinemark Tinseltown, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues This needless remake of the 1972 Charles Bronson action flick stars Jason Statham and Ben Foster as two hitmen is damaged beyond repair. NO STRINGS ATTACHED ***@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher star in director Ivan Reitman’s wickedly funny, raunchy rom-com about a couple learning that being “friends with benefits” is harder than it looks. THE RITE ***@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Cinemark Tinseltown, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues Though we wonder what possessed Anthony Hopkins to star in this supernatural thriller, he rises to the occasion in the story about exorcism in contemporary times. THE ROOMMATE **G@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach College gal Sara (Minka Kelly) discovers she has the roommate from hell in the form of the psycho Rebecca (Leighton Meester). SANCTUM **G@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Cinemark Tinseltown, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach, IMAX Theatre Producer James Cameron’s latest big-budget action flick about a group of adventurers trapped in an underground cave system is a little shallow on story but thrill seekers will still want to take the plunge. TANGLED **G@ Rated PG • AMC Orange Park Mandy Moore, Ron Perlman, Laraine Newman and Brad Garrett lend voice to the animated update on Princess Rapunzel and her unruly locks. TRUE GRIT **** Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach The Coen Brothers’ film revives an epic Western story of family justice. UNKNOWN **G@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark

Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Liam Neeson stars in this thriller about a doctor who wakes up from a car crash only to discover the life he once led no longer exists. YOGI BEAR 3D **@@ Rated PG • AMC Regency Square, Cinemark Tinseltown The lovable ursine in 3D — no picnic basket is safe.

OTHER FILMS AMELIA ISLAND FILM FEST The third annual festival runs Feb. 24-27 at venues throughout Fernandina Beach and features workshops, panel discussions and screenings of 40 feature films and shorts. Admissions range from $30-$125. 335-1110. For a full schedule of film listings and activities, visit ameliaislandfilmfestival.org 5 POINTS THEATRE “The Fighter” screens at 9 p.m. on Feb. 22, 23 and 24 at 5 Points Theatre, 1028 Park St., Jacksonville. “Flow” screens at 6:30 p.m. on Feb. 28. “Biutiful” screens at 4:30 p.m. on Feb. 27 and 28 and March 1. Oscar Nominated Live Action Shorts screen at 7 p.m. on Feb. 22 and 24. Oscar Nominated Animated Shorts run at 7 p.m. on Feb. 23 and 3 p.m. on Feb. 20. “The Illusionist” shows at 3 p.m. on Feb. 27, at 7:15 p.m. on March 1 and 2, at 5:30 p.m. on March 3. “The Social Network” runs at 7:15 p.m. on Feb. 27, at 9:30 p.m. on Feb. 28 at 9 p.m. on March 1 and 2. 359-0047. POT BELLY’S CINEMA “The Social Network,” “The King’s Speech,” “Barney’s Version” and “The Fighter” are shown at Pot Belly’s, 36 Granada St., St. Augustine. 829-3101. WGHOF IMAX THEATER “Sanctum 3D” is screened along with “Sea Monsters,” at World Golf Hall of Fame Village, 1 World Golf Place, Exit 323 off I-95, St. Augustine. 940-IMAX. worldgolfimax.com

FolioWeekly

NEW ON DVD & BLU-RAY WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS: A MAN WITHIN Yony Leyser’s compassionate and engaging study of a 20thcentury iconoclast features rare footage of Burroughs, along with interviews with devotees such as John Waters, Patti Smith, Gus Van Sant and Iggy Pop. UNSTOPPABLE Typical action fare about a runaway train set to explode at any second, starring the once-great Denzel Washington sadly succumbing to the “Nicolas Cage Effect.” WAITING FOR SUPERMAN Academy Award-winning director Davis Guggenheim’s thought-provoking documentary follows the journey of a group of children and their parents as they navigate the highs and lows of our nation’s public school system.

YOU WILL MEET A TALL DARK STRANGER Woody Allen’s latest stars Anthony Hopkins and Naomi Watts in the story of the loves, ambitions and neuroses of two married couples in London … in 3D! (JK!)

FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 19

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“Here’s a little number I wrote with the help of Ronnie Van Zant and Warren Zevon.” Kid Rock gets busy with it.

Kid Life Crisis

The musical rise and youthful indiscretions of a man called Kid KID ROCK with JAMEY JOHNSON Wednesday, March 9 at 7 p.m. Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., Jacksonville Tickets range from $24-$88.50 630-3900

id Rock is living proof that rock ’n’ roll can get you some izzass. That’s the only way to explain how a weaselly little man named Robert James Ritchie from the Motor City © “Bob” 2011 scores chicks like Pamela Anderson and Jaime Pressly. Here’s the formula; Reinvent yourself as “Kid Rock,” hone your rap/rock chops while embracing a Southern-rock lifestyle, sell tens of millions of CDs, get arrested a few times — most impressively at a Waffle House in Atlanta — and voila! you’re one of rock music’s biggest, baddest personalities bagging chicks a hundred times hotter than you. No surprise, then, that the half-dozen PR managers, handlers and promoters we ran through assured us that Kid’s busy these days — far too busy for an interview with a local alt-weekly. So instead of a revealing Q&A with the man, here’s some illuminated dirt on the selfproclaimed “Rock N Roll Jesus”:

• In January, Kid celebrated his 40th birthday with a three-hour concert at Detroit’s Ford Field. In addition to 60,000 fans, the guest list featured Run DMC’s Rev. Run, Cindy Crawford and Anita Baker. • Kid was listed on the 2010 Celebrity Death Pool — alongside Gene Simmons, Ozzy Osbourne and Abe freaking Vigoda — and lived to tell. • It’s been rumored that Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock filed for divorce after just four months of marriage because Anderson’s a huge supporter of PETA and Kid wouldn’t give up hunting and fishing. The flip side of the rumor is that Anderson refused to sign a pre-nup. • The Dallas Observer once put out something resembling a hit on the Kid: “We’re hoping — excuse us, make that ‘we’re objectively pointing out the possibility’ — that Warren Zevon and Ronnie Van Zant will claw themselves out of their graves and personally dispatch Kid to the real rock ‘n’ roll Jesus for what he did to ‘Werewolves of 20 | FOLIO WEEKLY | FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011

London’ and ‘Sweet Home Alabama.’ • In apparent retribution for that very mashup tune (“All Summer Long”), the Freaking News website offered “Kid Goodman.” a hideous mashup of its own: Kid and John Goodman (pictured). Kid has a name that lends itself to parody. It’s been used for news headlines about teen punk bands, goat habitat and the Wiggles. • Not all alt-weekly music writers are condescending and snarky when it comes to the Kid. The Charleston City Paper recently described him as “genre-busting badass.” • Kid has a musical scholarship named after him at Detroit’s Wayne State University. Dude, I so want to be the Kid Rock scholarship kid. • “Born Free,” Kid’s eighth studio album, was produced by Rick Rubin and features collaborations with Red Hot Chili Pepper Chad Smith, as well as Bob Seger, Sheryl Crow and T.I. • Kid Rock’s tour names are merch tableready, but decidedly not ready for junior high school hallways: “White Thrash on Dope Tour,” “Destroy Your Liver Tour,” “Between the Legs Tour,” “The Cocky Tour” and “Lazy Muthafuga Tour.” • He may not be the next Colin Firth, but Kid’s put his acting skillz to the test more than once. Feature films include “Joe Dirt,” “Biker Boyz” and “Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector,” as well as TV appearances on “The Simpsons,” “King of the Hill,” “Stripperella,” “South Park,” “CSI: NY” and “Top Gear.” • Though he’s best known for rocking pimp coats and cowboy hats, Kid has his own clothing line, called Made in Detroit. It’s the place to go if you’re looking for a black T-shirt with “Awesomeville” scrawled across the Detroit skyline. • While testifying in an assault case stemming from charges that he attacked three L.A. fans, Kid offered a novel defense: He doesn’t have any L.A. fans. “In L.A. and New York,” he told the court, with a nod to his Southern-fried appeal, “you know they’re not your fans.” Kara Pound themail@folioweekly.com

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FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 21

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Sales

Locomotive Breath: The creative engineers of Old 97’s.

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ADVERTISING PROOF Alt-country legends Old 97’s prove it ain’t braggin’ if you This is a copyright protected proof ©

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OLD 97’S with THOSE DARLINS ons, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: 022211 Sunday, Feb. 27 at 8 p.m. PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach

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he four men who make up Old 97’s operate on their own dusty plane of alt-country excellence. After emerging in 1993 from the thriving Dallas, Texas, bar-rock scene, the band has since maintained the orignal lineup — singer Rhett Miller, guitarist Ken Bethea, bassist Murry 2010 Hammond and drummer Philip Peeples. The band has weathered flash fame as alt-country’s next big thing, a resulting three-album stint on Elektra Records, its abrupt end in the wake of the Time Warner-AOL merger, and, more recently, Miller’s successful solo career. But what hasn’t killed the members of Old 97’s has only made them stronger, as their reputation for impeccable songwriting, drum-tight performances and steady-as-she-goes consistency only increases with time. Hammond spoke with Folio Weekly about tour itineraries, Mexican food metaphors and the common affliction of “song-stipation.”

FolioWeekly

Folio Weekly: In recent years, Old 97’s always seem to be out on 15-date runs. Any particular reason you keep your tours short and sweet? Murry Hammond: [Laughs.] That’s short to you? Oh, man … No, since we became family men, our big idea was to tour two weeks at a time. We’re all about showing up at home as much as possible, while getting on the road as much as possible, too. That’s the sweet spot we’ve found. F.W.: Your most recent album, “The Grand Theatre Volume One,” hits several different notes — catchy punk anthems, mournful ballads, rousing roots rockers. Is that par for the Old 97’s course? M.H.: We have a spectrum of stuff that gets put together with the same ingredients. I always liken it to Mexican food: a bunch of dishes on the table, with five or six ingredients cooked up in different ways. It gives us elbow room. More acreage to explore, and more places to wander around while still sounding like ourselves. F.W.: “Volume One” also includes “Champaign, Illinois,” a rewrite of Bob Dylan’s “Desolation Row.” Did you set out to intentionally rework the classic? M.H.: Rhett wrote that song as an exercise,

where he wanted to take an existing tune and put his words to it. He and I have performed it for years, and finally I said, “We’ve got to at least record this,” because our manager could actually get a hold of Bob. And sure enough, he did — Dylan requested the lyrics, he liked ’em and he signed off on it, which was pretty cool. F.W.: Old 97’s are a bonafide Texas band, but you’ve been living in L.A. for some time now. Do you miss the Lone Star State? M.H.: Oh, yeah, but not as much as I used to. Hardly two months go by before I’m either back there or buying the next plane ticket. We truly do regard Texas as our soul and our home, so it’s a good deal. F.W.: You’ve done time on small imprints, major labels like Elektra and indie powerhouses, like your present home at New West. Which has worked out best? M.H.: There were great things about all of ’em, but these days we split the difference. It feels like we’ve learned how to do everything — we’re not freaked out by our tiny level of fame or celebrity. We have this established world where all we’ve gotta do is be ourselves, claim our talent and live up to the promises that we made to ourselves as songwriters and to our fans as vowing never to suck. We’re comfortable, and I think it’s gonna be like this for quite a number of years. F.W.: Do your solo side projects allow you and Rhett to blow off some steam? M.H.: My little thing’s just a hobby, but with Rhett, his solo career helps him get songs out. Songwriters get what I like to call “songstipated” — songs get backed up, and you’ve got nowhere to put them, so a side project can help you mentally be happier. F.W.: You mentioned that Old 97’s are “gonna be like this for quite a number of years.” How do you know? M.H.: We can see pretty far out on the horizon, and nothing would ever cause us to get apathetic. Rhett and I are gonna be songwriters for the rest of our lives, and as long as the songs keep coming and we keep having a lot of fun, why in the world would we want to stop? Nick McGregor themail@folioweekly.com

CONCERTS THIS WEEK

OZZY OSBOURNE, SLASH The hard rock legends perform at 7:30 p.m. on Feb. 22 at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $25-$55. 630-3900. ANTISERUM, DOWNLINK, DIOPTRICS These heavy hitters play at 8 p.m. on Feb. 22 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Advance tickets are $15. 246-2473. LEE KELLY Irish folksinger Kelly performs at 6 p.m. on Feb. 23 at Downtown Blues Bar & Grille, 714 St. Johns Ave., Palatka. (386) 325-5454. LEON RUSSELL The legendary rocker performs at 8 p.m. on Feb. 23 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $25-$35. 355-2787. THE CREEPSHOW, 77Ds These punkers play at 8 p.m. on Feb. 23 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $8. 398-7496. TREE PARTY, THE GREAT WORKING, HUNGRY HOLOGRAMS These indie acts play at 9 p.m. on Feb. 23 at Shantytown Pub, 22 W. Sixth St., Jacksonville. 798-8222. THE LUCAS CATES BAND This country act performs at 6 p.m. on Feb. 24 at Maverickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Rock Nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Honky Tonk Concert Hall, The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Drive, Ste. 201, downtown. 356-1110. REMEDY DRIVE, KALIYL, THE TELL TALE HEART The faith-based rockers play at 7 p.m. on Feb. 24 at Murray Hill Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $8; $10 day of show. 388-3179. TRAVIS TRITT This country artist plays a solo acoustic set at 7:30 p.m. on Feb. 24 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 N. A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach. Tickets are $49.95 and $79.95. 209-0367. BUSKIN & BATTEAU, CASTLEBAY This night of original music starts at 8 p.m. on Feb. 24 at European Street CafĂŠ, 1704 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $10. 399-1740. TYRANNY, FALL OF A NATION These rockers hit it at 8 p.m. on Feb. 24 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $8. 398-7496.

IN WHISPERS, MINDSLIP, ALLELE, 2 MINUTE WISH, NU ERA These local heavy hitters perform at 6 p.m. on Feb. 25 at Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 223-9850. LEE BRICE, BRETHREN Country rocker Lee Brice performs at 6 p.m. on Feb. 25 at Maverickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Rock Nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Honky Tonk Concert Hall, The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Drive, Ste. 201, downtown. Advance tickets are $10; $15 day of show. 356-1110. JOHN BUSCEMI, CAITLIN REED, MATT MINCHEW, PATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S TRIO The indie folk starts at 7 p.m. on Feb. 25 at Three Layers Cafe, 1602 Walnut St., Jacksonville. 355-9791. BIG FIL, BLAMELESS, JOVAN McKENZEY, DJ RED HOT, DJ WILL The faith-based music starts at 7:30 p.m. on Feb. 25 at Murray Hill Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $8; $10 at the door. 388-3179. BLUE SONICS These rockers play at 8 p.m. on Feb. 25 at Dog Star Tavern, 10 N. Second St., Fernandina Beach. 277-8010. SALT-N-PEPA Legends of Hip Hop Tour with WHODINI, DOUG E. FRESH, KURTIS BLOW, MC LYTE The old school rap kicks off at 8 p.m. on Feb. 25 at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $43.50 and $53.50. 630-3900. NEIL HAMBURGER, JP INC., PATRICK STEEN Comedian Hamburger bares his heart at 8 p.m. on Feb. 25 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $8. 398-7496. THE EXPENDABLES, BIG B., ILA MAWANA, CRAZY CARLS These punkers bring the noise at 8 p.m. on Feb. 25 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Advance tickets are $15. 246-2473. TINSLEY ELLIS, SHELBY & THE MUSTANGS The blues kicks off at 8 p.m. on Feb. 25 at Downtown Blues Bar & Grille, 714 St. Johns Ave., Palatka. Advance tickets are $15; $20 at the door. (386) 325-5454. GRANDPAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S COUGH MEDICINE Local bluegrass pickers play at 10 p.m. on Feb. 25 at Ring of Fire Honky Tonk, 113 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine. 460-2641. JIM ESSERY & FRIENDS The Southern rockers start at 9:30 p.m. on Feb. 25 at Lamm at Large Sports Tavern, 14286 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. 619-5541.

GIRLS ON FILM, SONEN, THE SKRAELINGS These indie acts perform at 10 p.m. on Feb. 25 at Club TSI, 333 E. Bay St., Jacksonville. 424-3531. THE INSOMNIACS The blues-rock upstarts play at 10 p.m. on Feb. 25 at Mojo Kitchen, 1500 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. Tickets are $10. 247-6636. WASTEDIST, AMMO NATION, STATUS FAUX, TOE IN THE TRIGGER These area punks play at 6 p.m. on Feb. 26 at Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 223-9850. RACHEL SAGE Eclectic singer-songwriter Sage plays at 7 p.m. on Feb. 26 at Three Layers Cafe, 1602 Walnut St., Jacksonville. 355-9791. RICH WHITELEY BAND These Tampa-based rockers play at 8 p.m. on Feb. 26 at Dog Star Tavern, 10 N. Second St., Fernandina Beach. 277-8010. WILSON FAMILY BAND This clan of bluegrass pickers plays at 8 p.m. on Feb. 26 at European Street CafĂŠ, 5500 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $10. 399-1740. THIEVES IN EXILE, HOLLANDER, PILLY WETE, BURNHEART These indie and punks play at 8 p.m. on Feb. 26 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $13. 398-7496. CLARA VANUM, VIKTR, DRAMA SUMMER, STARLIGHT GETAWAY, POLYGONS, SOLEIL The original local rock revs up at 8 p.m. on Feb. 26 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Advance tickets are $18. 246-2473. A1A BLUES BAND This night of blues starts at 8:30 p.m. on Feb. 26 at Downtown Blues Bar & Grille, 714 St. Johns Ave., Palatka. (386) 325-5454. LARRY KEEL & NATURAL BRIDGE This innovative bluegrass ensemble performs at 10 p.m. on Feb. 26 at Mojo Kitchen, 1500 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. Grandpaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cough Medicine opens at 9:30p.m. Tickets are $10. 247-6636. GOLIATH FLORES This multi-instrumentalist performs at noon on Feb. 27 at Three Layers Cafe, 1602 Walnut St., Jacksonville. 355-9791. TIM BARRY, GREENLAND IS MELTING, BEAU CRUM, REBELS & ROGUES Avail frontman Barry plays at 8 p.m. on Feb. 27 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $10. 398-7496.

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OLD 97â&#x20AC;&#x2122;S Those Darlins WEDNESDAY MARCH 2

AS I LAY DYING Wings of Plague After the Burial/Casey Jones THURSDAY MARCH 3

GO AWAY GHOST/FULL STOP Crimson City Romance/The Gallery FRIDAY MARCH 4

Wastid Talent / Feral Swine Experiment / The Naysayers

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We Are the in Crowd, You Me & Everyone We Know FRIDAY MARCH 18

GLASS CAMELS 24th Anniversary show Mike Bernos Band

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Zebbler Encanti Experience THURSDAY APRIL 7

EASY STAR ALLSTARS (Dub Side of the Moon)

The Green/Cas Haley UPCOMING SHOWS 4-14: Â Â Â Forever the Sickest Kids 4-26: Â Â Â Ghostland Observatory 5-1: Â Â Â Â Soulive 5-12: Â Â Â Plain White Tâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 5-22: Â Â Â Minus the Bear

FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 23

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OLD 97s, THOSE DARLINS Alt-country kings Old 97s play at 8 p.m. on Feb. 27 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Advance tickets are $17. 246-2473. HOT TUNA BLUES with CHARLIE MUSSELWHITE, JIM LAUDERDALE Legendary blues gurus Hot Tuna perform at 8 p.m. on Feb. 27 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. Tickets are $35. 355-2787.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

AS I LAY DYING, WINGS OF PLAGUE, AFTER THE BURIAL, CASEY JONES March 2, Freebird Live TY SEGALL, THE COUGS, ALLIGATOR March 2, Ring of Fire RICHARD SMITH, JULIE ADAMS March 3, European Street TINSLEY ELLIS March 3, Mojo Kitchen GRACE POTTER & THE NOCTURNALS, CHAMBERLIN March 3, The Florida Theatre DIANA ROSS March 4, T-U Center LITTLE GREEN APPLES, BIG BUCKS, DJ CREW March 4, Club TSI WASTID TALENT, FERAL SWINE EXPERIMENT, THE AYSAYERS March 4, Freebird Live SLIGHTLY STOOPID, FISHBONE March 5, Plush JOHN MELLENCAMP March 5, T-U Center GRANDPAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S COUGH MEDICINE March 5, Riverside Arts Market THE OAKRIDGE BOYS, BILLY DEAN March 7, T-U Center KID ROCK, JAMEY JOHNSON March 9, Veterans Memorial Arena TIM REYNOLDS TR3 March 9, Freebird Live KEM March 10, T-U Center G-LOVE AND SPECIAL SAUCE March 10, Freebird Live DARYL HANCE March 11, Mojo Kitchen SEN DOG March 11, Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pit DUM DUM GIRLS, READING RAINBOW, DIRTY BEACHES March 11, Jack Rabbits SIBERIA MY SWEET March 11, Club TSI STREETLIGHT MANIFESTO, TERRIBLE THINGS, A LOSS FOR WORDS, LARRY & HIS FLASK March 11, Freebird Live SISTER HAZEL March 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SUGARLAND March 12, Veterans Memorial Arena SEN DOG (CYPRESS HILL) March 12, Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pit ROCCO BLU March 12, Mojo Kitchen

THE READY SET, DOWNTOWN FICTION, WE ARE THE IN CROWD, YOU AND ME AND EVERYONE WE KNOW March 12, Freebird Live REBELUTION, JUNIOR REID, GIANT PANDA GUERILLA DUB SQUAD March 13, Plush SADPLANT March 13, Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pit YES March 14, The Florida Theatre BRICK MOWER March 16, Underbelly DAYS OF THE NEW, MIKE STAR March 17, Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pit ABK, AMB, KUNG FU VAMPIRE March 18, Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pit BONERAMA March 18, Mojo Kitchen BADFISH, SCOTTY DONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T March 19, Freebird Live PAT TRAVERS March 19, Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pit HONEY ISLAND SWAMP BAND March 19, Mojo Kitchen ANTARCTIC, THE BRONZED CHORUS, MANRAY March 22, The Lomax Lodge JAMES TAYLOR, BEN TAYLOR March 22, T-U Center GALEN KIPAR PROJECT March 23, Mojo Kitchen MIKE WATT & THE MISSINGMEN March 24, Jack Rabbits PETER MURPHY March 24, Freebird Live RICHARD STOLTZMAN, DAVID STEINMEYER March 25, UNF Robinson Theater ERIC CULBERSON March 25, Mojo Kitchen BOOM CHICK March 25, Underbelly INDORPHINE March 26, Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pit MARK HUMMELâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S BLUES HARMONICA BLOW OUT March 26, Mojo Kitchen CITIZEN COPE March 27, The Florida Theatre PUNCH BROTHERS, CHRIS THILE April 1, The Florida Theatre SPRINGING THE BLUES with ANDERS OSBORNE, THE LEE BOYS, MICHAEL BURKS, DANA FUCHS April 1-3, Seawalk Plaza THE VAMPIRATES, KONAMI CODE, POOR RICHARDS April 2, The Lomax Lodge EOTO, ZEBLER April 5, Freebird Live JOHN CLAYTON, JEFF CLAYTON, JEFF HAMILTON April 6, UNF Robinson Theater Voice of the Wetlands Allstars: TAB BENOIT, CYRIL NEVILLE, BIG CHIEF MONK BOUDREAUX April 7, Mojo Kitchen EASY ALLSTARS, THE GREEN April 7, Freebird Live Wanee Festival with THE ALLMAN BROTHERS BAND, ROBERT PLANT & BAND OF JOY, WEEN April 14-16, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park FOREVER THE SICKEST KIDS, BREATHE CAROLINA April 14, Freebird Live

YANNI April 14, T-U Center MIRANDA LAMBERT, JUSTIN MOORE & JOSH KELLY April 15, St. Augustine Amphitheatre SOJA, THE DIRTY HEADS, NEW POLITICS April 20, The Florida Theatre RISE AGAINST, BAD RELIGION, FOUR YEAR STRONG April 22, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ONE NIGHT OF QUEEN May 3, The Florida Theatre JEFF BECK, IMELDA MAY BAND May 4, The Florida Theatre KRIS KRISTOFFERSON, JOHN PRINE May 14, Florida Theatre KEITH URBAN June 17, Veterans Memorial Arena

â&#x20AC;¢ CLUBS â&#x20AC;¢ AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

BEECH STREET GRILL, 801 Beech St., 277-3662 John Springer every Fri. & Sat., every other Thur. Barry Randolph every Sun. DOG STAR TAVERN, 10 N. Second St., 277-8010 Blue Sonics at 8 p.m. on Feb. 25. Rich Whiteley Band at 8 p.m. on Feb. 26 GENNAROâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ITALIANO SOUTH, 5472 First Coast Hwy., 491-1999 Live jazz from 7:30-9:30 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. GREEN TURTLE TAVERN, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Dan Voll from 7-10 p.m. every Fri. Live music every weekend INDIGO ALLEY, 316 Centre St., 261-7222 Dan Voll & the Alley Cats at 8 p.m. every Sat. Frankieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Jazz Jam at 7:30 p.m. every Tue. Open mic at 7 p.m. every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;KANEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S IRISH PUB, 318 Centre St., 261-1000 Dan Voll from 7:30-11:30 p.m. every Wed. The Turner London Band at 8:30 p.m. every Thur., Fri. & Sat. THE PALACE SALOON & SHEFFIELDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S, 117 Centre St., 491-3332 Wes Cobb every Wed. DJ Anonymous in Sheffieldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. DJ Miguel Alvarez every Fri. Buck Smith every Sun., Pili Pili every Mon. PLAE, 80 Amelia Circle, Amelia Island Plantation, 277-2132 Gary Ross from 7-11 p.m. every Thur.-Sat. SEABREEZE SPORTS BAR, 2707 Sadler Rd., 277-2300 Karaoke with Daddyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;O every Wed. DJ Roc at 9 p.m. every Fri., 10 p.m.-2 a.m. every Sat. SLIDERâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6990 Cason at 2 p.m. at the tiki bar every Sat. & Sun. THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Kent Kirby on

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24 | FOLIO WEEKLY | FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011

Feb. 22. Stevie Fingers on Feb. 24. Reggie Lee on Feb. 25. Richard Smith on Feb. 26. Andy Haney on Feb. 28. DJ Roc at 5 p.m. every Wed.

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

AJâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S BAR & GRILLE, 10244 Atlantic Blvd., 805-9060 DJ Sheryl every Thur., Fri. & Sat. DJ Mike every Tue. & Wed. Karaoke every Thur. MEEHANâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S TAVERN, 9119 Merrill Rd., Ste. 5, 551-7076 Karaoke every Wed. Live music every Fri. MVPâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S SPORTS GRILLE, 12777 Atlantic Blvd., 221-1090 Live music at 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. PLUSH, RAIN, LEOPARD LOUNGE, 845 University Blvd. N., 745-1845 DJ Massive spins top 40 in Rain every Wed., DJs spin Latin every Fri.; house & techno in Z-Bar every Fri. TONINOâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S TRATTORIA & MARTINI BAR, 7001 Merrill Rd., Ste. 45, 743-3848 Harry & Sally from 6:30-9 p.m. every Wed. Alaina Colding every Thur. W. Harvey Williams at 6 p.m. every Fri. Signature String Quartet every Sat.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

BRICK RESTAURANT, 3585 St. Johns Ave., 387-0606 Duet every Wed. Goliath Flores and Sam Rodriguez every Thur. Bush Doctors every 1st Fri. & Sat. Live jazz every Fri. & Sat. THE CASBAH CAFE, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. 3rd Bass every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave., 387-3582 DJ Keith spins for Karaoke every Tue. DJ Free spins vintage every Fri. DJ Dave Berg spins every Sat. DJ Alex Pagan spins every Sun. ELEVATED AVONDALE, 3551 St. Johns Ave., 387-0700 Karaoke with Dave Thrash every Wed. DJ 151 spins hip hop, R&B, funk, soul & old-school every Thur. Live music every weekend. DJ Catharsis spins lounge beats every 1st & 4th Sat. Patrick Evan & Co-Alition every Industry Sun. TOM & BETTYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S, 4409 Roosevelt Blvd., 387-3311 Live music every Fri. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Sat.

BAYMEADOWS

THE COFFEE GRINDER, 9834 Old Baymeadows Rd., 642-7600 DJ Albert Adkins spins house every Wed. DJs spin progressive & electro house every Thur. DJ Michael Stumbaugh spins electro house & progressive breaks every Sat.

Johnston at 6 p.m. every Thur. Duo at 6:30 p.m. every Tue.and Wed. MIMIâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S SPORTS GRILLE, 1021 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic COPPER TOP, 1712 Beach Blvd., 249-4776 MaryAnn Beach, 270-1030 DJ Dennis Hubbell spins & hosts Karaoke at Hawkins from 7-11 p.m. on Feb. 24. Toots Lorraine & the 8 p.m. every Thur. & Fri. Traffic from 7-11 p.m. on Feb. 25. Charlie Walker from 7-10 MOJO KITCHEN, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636 The p.m. on Feb. 26. Ivey Brothers from 10 a.m.-3 p.m. on Feb. 27. Insomniacs on Feb. 25. Larry Keel & Natural Bridge on Feb. 26. Live music every Sat. Tinsley Ellis on March 3 CULHANEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, MONKEYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S UNCLE TAVERN, 1850 S. Third St., 246-1070 249-9595 Mother Grove at 9:30 p.m. on Feb. 25. JK Wayne at Peter Dearing at 10 p.m. on Feb. 22. Domenic Patruno at 10 6 p.m., Highland Reign Band at 9 p.m. on Feb. 26. JK Wayne at p.m. every Tue. DJ Papa Sugar spins dance music at 9 p.m. 6:30 p.m. on Feb. 27. Jennâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tribute to Jazz on March 1. every Mon., Thur. & Fri. DJ Austin Williams spins dance & for DICKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S WINGS & GRILL, 311 Third St. N., 853-5004 Karaoke every Wed., Sat. & Sun. Live music every Fri. & Sat. NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic ENGINE 15 BREWING COMPANY, 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. Beach, 372-4105 Live music every Thur.-Sat. 217, 249-2337 Live music every Thur. OCEAN 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060 EUROPEAN STREET, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001 Ron Perry StoryTellers Duo on Feb. 24. Flashback on Feb. 25. Class Act on Feb. 27. Acoustic open mic with John Longbottom from 6-9 on Feb. 26 p.m. every Tue. PACOâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S MEXICAN GRILL, 333 N. First St., 208-5097 FIONN MACCOOLâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S IRISH PUB, 333 First St. N., 242-9499 Live music at 9 p.m. every Thur. Live music every Tue.-Sun. PHILLYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S FINEST, 1527 N. Third St., 241-7188 Ian & Steve FLYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 E. Sailfish Dr., Atlantic Beach, (Hello Danger) every Fri. 246-4293 Nate Holley every Mon. Wes Cobb every Thur. Live RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, music every Fri. & Sat. King Eddie reggae every Sun. 241-7877 Ron Perry on Feb. 23. Derrick Laurence Project on FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 The Excision Smokinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; grass! Innovative bluegrass ensemble Larry Keel & Natural Bridge appears on Feb. 26 at 10 p.m. at Mojo Kitchen, Feb. 24. Cloud 9 on Feb. 25 & 26. Billy Bowers on Feb. 27 Tour with Antiserum, Downlink and Dioptrics on Feb. 22. The 1500 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. Led by notable flat-picker Keel, Natural Bridge are known for a versatile blend of jazz, folk and RITZ LOUNGE, 139 Third Ave. N., 246-2255 Expendables Winter Blackout 2011 with Big B, Ila Mawana and traditional styles. Grandpaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cough Medicine opens at 9:30p.m. Tickets are $10. 247-6636. DJ Jenn Azana every Wed.-Sat. DJ Ibay every Sun. Crazy Carls on Feb. 25. Clara Vanum, Viktr, Drama Summer, STICKY FINGERS, 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, Starlight Getaway, Polygons and Soleil on Feb. 26. Old 97â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s and 241-7427 Live music 3-7 p.m. every Sun. Those Darlins on Feb. 27. As I Lay Dying, Wings of Plague, After SUN DOG, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 241-8221 the Burial and Casey Jones on March 2 MY PLACE BAR-N-GRILL, 9550 Baymeadows, 737-5299 Reed spins â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s, old school, remixes & mashups, Capone spins Billy & Trevor on Feb. 23. Buck Smith on Feb. 24. Jimi Graves ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR, 108 First St., Neptune Beach, For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: 022211 Out of Hand every Mon. Rotating bands every other Tue. & Wed. top 40 & dance faves every Sat. & the Supernatural on Feb. 25 & 26. Hoffmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Voodoo on Feb. 372-0943 Live music at 9:30 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. OASIS GRILL & CHILL, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., 748-9636 BEACHSIDE SEAFOOD, 120 S. Third St., 444-8862 Kurt 27. Billy Bowers on Feb. 28 LANDSHARK CAFE, 1728 Third St. N., 246-6024 Grandpaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 DJs Stan and Mike Bend spin every Feel Good Fri. Lanham sings classical island music every Fri.-Sun. THE WINE BAR, 320 N. First St., 372-0211 Live music every Cough Medicine on Feb. 27 TERA NOVA, 8206 Philips Hwy., 733-8085 DJ Jose de la BILLYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S PROMISE BOATHOUSE, 2321 Beach Blvd., 241-9771 LiveSUPPORT Fri. LYNCHâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S IRISH PUB,ASK 514 N.FOR First ACTION St., 249-5181 Roger That Produced by& Sat. jdw Checked by Sales Rep rm OF BENEFIT Soul spins salsa & freestyle every Latin Thur. DJs spin hip hop music at 5:30 p.m. every Thur., from 6-10 p.m. every Fri. & Sat., on Feb. 25 & 26. Split Tone at 10:30 p.m. every Tue. Nate every Fri. DJs Leland & Marc-E-Marc spin top 40 & house noon-4 p.m. every Sun., weather permitting every weekend Holley Band every Wed. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Video DJ and Karaoke every Sun. Little Green Men every Mon. DOWNTOWN every Sat. DJ Leland McWilliams spins for South Beach Friday THE BRASSERIE, 1312 Beach Blvd., 249-5800 Live music CAFE 331, 331 W. Forsyth St., 354-1999 Acoustic open mic MAYPORT TAVERN, 2775 Old Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, every 2nd Fri. Reggae Fanatic is held every 3rd Fri. every Wed. & Thur. 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Tue. Live music 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Wed. 270-0801 Kurt Lanham at 2 p.m. every Sun. DJ Jason hosts BRIX TAPHOUSE, 300 N. Second St., 241-4668 DJ & Fri. Factory Jaxâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s goth-industrial 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Sat. Karaoke at 9 p.m. every Wed., Fri. & Sat. Anonymous every Mon., Tue. & Thur. Live music every Wed. DJ BEACHES Underground 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Mon. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., Ste. 2, 246-1500 IBay every Fri. & Sat. Charlie Walker every Sun. (In Jax Beach unless otherwise noted) CITY HALL PUB, 234 Randolph Blvd., 356-6750 DJ Skillz Bread & Butter on Feb. 23. 3 the Band on Feb. 24. The fritz on CARIBBEE KEY, 100 N. First St., Neptune Beach, 270-8940 THE ATLANTIC, 333 N. First St., 249-3338 The Infader spins spins Motown, old school, hip hop & R&B every Wed. Live Feb. 25. Matt Still on Feb. 26 Pili Pili on Feb. 25 & 26. Alex Seier every Thur. Live music every every Wed. DJ Wes Reed spins every Thur. DJ Jade spins old music every Thur. Smooth Jazz Lunch at 11 a.m., Latin music MEZZA LUNA, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573 Fri. & Sat. wave & â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s retro, SilverStar spins hip hop every Fri. DJ Wes at 9 p.m. every first Fri.; Olâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Skool every last Fri. A DJ spins UNF Jazz at 6 p.m. every Wed. Mike Shackelford and Rick CASA MARINA, 691 First St. N., 270-0025 The Johnston

ADVERTISING PROOF This is a copyright protected proof ÂŠ

TUE 2/22 Team Trivia

WED 2/23 Billy & Trevor THURS 2/24 Buck Smith

rush st

For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: 022211 Graves & FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655FRI 2/25 & SAT 2/26 Jimi The Super Naturals SUN 2/27 Hoffmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Voodoo

PROMISE OF BENEFIT

SUPPORT

Wednesday Ron Perry Thursday Derrick Laurence Project Friday & Saturday Cloud 9 Sunday Billy Bowers

MON 2/28 Billy Bowers

RL ASK FOR ACTION Produced by _jw_ Checked by ____ Sales Rep ____

caribbee

island girl

Atlantic Blvd. at the Ocean "UMBOUJD #FBDI t FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 25

ÂŠ 2011

FolioWeekly

classic R&B, hip hop & dance every Saturdaze. Live reggae & DJs spin island music every Sun. Joel Crutchfield for open mic every Mon. Live music every Tues. DE REAL TING CAFE, 128 W. Adams St., 633-9738 DJ Dorenzo and Shamba on Feb. 25. DJs Mix Master Prince, Pete, Stylish, Big Bodie play reggae, calypso, R&B, hip hop and top 40 every Fri. & Sat. DIVE BAR, 331 E. Bay St., 359-9090 DJ NickFresh spins every Tue. Indie Lounge. DJ SuZi-Rok spins every Thur. DJ Trim spins top 40, dance & rock every Fri. DJ Shanghai spins top 40, dance & rock every Sat. THE IVY ULTRA BAR, 113 E. Bay St., 356-9200 DJs 151 The Experience & C-Lo spin every Rush Hour Wed. DJ E.L. spins top 40, South Beach & dance classics every Pure Sat. MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Massive spins top 40 & dance every Velvet Fri. DJ Shotgun spins top 40 & dance every BayStreet Sat. MAVERICKS ROCK N’HONKY TONK, The Jacksonville Landing, 356-1110 The Lucas Cates Band at 6 p.m. on Feb. 24. Lee Brice and local band Brethren (former Yankee Slickers) on Feb. 25. Bobby Laredo spins every Thur. & Sat. Saddle Up every Sat. NORTHSTAR SUBSTATION, 119 E. Bay St., 860-5451 Karaoke every Fri. THE PEARL, 1101 N. Main St., 791-4499 DJs Tom P. & Ian S. spin ’80s & indie dance every Fri. DJ Ricky spins indie rock, hip hop & electro every Sat. POPPY LOVE SMOKE, 112 E. Adams St., 354-1988 Lil John Lumpkin, Stefano Di Bella & Lawrence Buckner every Wed. & Fri. Open mic every 2nd & 4th Sun. ZODIAC GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283 Eric Carter and DJ Al Pete every Fri.

FLEMING ISLAND

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999 John Earle on Feb. 23. Meagan Diamond on Feb. 25. Nate Holley on Feb. 26. Live music every Fri. & Sat. MERCURY MOON, 2015 C.R. 220, 215-8999 DJ Ty spins for ladies’ nite every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Buck Smith Project every Mon. Blistur unplugged every Wed. ROCKIN RODZ, 2574 C.R. 220, 276-2000 David Milam from 7-10 p.m. every Thur. & Fri. Live music every Thur.-Sat. Talent Nite every Sat. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Live

country music on Feb. 24. Neil Champagne at 5 p.m., Boogie Freaks at 9:30 p.m. on Feb. 25. Tony Neal at 5 p.m., Boogie Freaks at 9:30 p.m. on Feb. 26. Live music on the deck at 5 p.m. every Sun.

INTRACOASTAL WEST

BREWSTER’S PIT, 14003 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 223-9850 Mindslip, Allele, 2 Minute Wish and Nu Era at 6 p.m. on Feb. 25. Wastedist, Ammo Nation, Status Faux and Toe In The Trigger on Feb. 26 BREWSTER’S PUB, 14003 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 223-9850 Throwback Tue. features ’70s, ’80s & top 40. Open mic with CBH every Wed. Karaoke with DJ Randal every Thur. Live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat. A DJ spins every Mon. BRUCCI’S PIZZA, 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 36, 223-6913 Mike Shackelford at 6:30 p.m. every Sat. Brucci’s Live with Mike Shackelford at 6:30 p.m. every Mon. CLIFF’S BAR & GRILLE, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 Jaded Gypsy on Feb. 24. Spanky the Band on Feb. 25 & 26. Karaoke every Tue. DJ Kevin for ladies nite every Wed. Karaoke with DJ Jack at 9 p.m. every Sun. Live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat. JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE & STEAKHOUSE, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 22, 220-6766 Live music outside for Bike Night every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. LAMM AT LARGE SPORTS TAVERN, 14286 Beach Blvd., 619-5541Jim Essery & Friends at 9:30 p.m. on Feb. 25 YOUR PLACE BAR & GRILL, 13245 Atlantic Blvd., 2219994 Chuck Nash every Tue. Simply Righteous every Wed.

JULINGTON, NW ST. JOHNS COUNTY

HAPPY OURS SPORTS GRILLE, 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101, 683-1964 Live music at 7:30 p.m. every Fri. SHANNON’S IRISH PUB, 111 Bartram Oaks Walk, 230-9670 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

MANDARIN

AW SHUCKS OYSTER BAR & GRILL, 9743 Old St. Augustine Rd., 240-0368 Open mic with John O’Connor from 7-10 p.m. every Wed. Cafe Groove Duo, Jay Terry and John O’Connor, from 8-11 p.m. every Sat. Live music from 9 p.m.-mid. every Sat.

CHEERS BAR & GRILL, 11475 San Jose Blvd., 262-4337 Karaoke at 9:30 p.m. every Wed. THE NEW ORLEANS CAFE, 12760 San Jose Blvd., 880-5155 Jazz on the Deck 7-10 p.m. with Sleepy’s Connection every Tue. Open mic with Biker Bob at 7:30 p.m. every Thur. Les B. Fine at 1 p.m. every Reggae Sun. Creekside Songwriters Showcase at 7 p.m. on the last Wed. each month RACK ’EM UP BILLIARDS, 4268 Oldfield Crossing, 262-4030 Craig Hand every Sat. Karaoke at 7 p.m. every Sun. SMITTY’S INTERNET BAR, 3353 Kori Rd., 683-0388 Jukebox Karaoke at 5 p.m. every Sun. SPECKLED HEN TAVERN & GRILLE, 9475 Philips Hwy., Ste. 16, 538-0811 Live music from 6-9 p.m. every Fri. THE TREE STEAKHOUSE, 11362 San Jose Blvd., 262-0006 The Boril Ivanov Biva Jazz Band from 7-9 p.m. every Thur. David Gum at the piano bar from 7-10 p.m. every Fri.

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

CHEERS BAR & GRILL, 1580 Wells Rd., 269-4855 Karaoke at 9:30 p.m. every Wed. & Sat. CRACKERS LOUNGE, 1282 Blanding Blvd., 272-4620 Karaoke every Fri. & Sat. THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael every Wed.-Sat. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Blistur on Feb. 24, 25 & 26. Buck Smith Project every Mon. DJ Waldo every Tue. DJ Papa Sugar every Wed. SENOR WINGS, 700 Blanding Blvd., 375-0746 DJ Andy spins for Karaoke every Wed. DJ Tammy spins for Karaoke every Fri. Live music every Sat. DJ spins for every Mon. S.I. nite

PALATKA

DOWNTOWN BLUES BAR & GRILLE, 714 St. Johns Ave., (386) 325-5454 Lee Kelly from 6-9 p.m. on Feb. 23. Tinsley Ellis and Shelby & the Mustangs from 8 p.m.-1 a.m. on Feb. 25. A1A Blues Band from 8:30 p.m.-12:30 a.m. on Feb. 26. Live music at 6 p.m. every Wed. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Fri. Blues at 8:30 p.m. every Sat. Blues jams at 2 p.m. every Sun.

PONTE VEDRA

AQUA GRILL, 950 Sawgrass Village Dr., 285-3017 Brian Green Duo at 3 p.m. every Sun. on the deck

club o www.RockinRodz.com

26 | FOLIO WEEKLY | FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011

Newman every Thur. Live music at 3 p.m. every Sat. CREEKSIDE DINERY, 160 Nix Boatyard Rd., 829-6113 Live music on deck Wed.-Sun. CRUISERS GRILL, 3 St. George St., 824-6993 Live music every Fri. & Sat. Chelsea Saddler every Sun. FLORIDA CRACKER CAFE, 81 St. George St., 829-0397 Lonesome Bert & the Skinny Lizard at 5:30 p.m. every Wed. THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655 Live music every Fri. & Sat. THE GREEN DOLPHIN STREET, 51 Charlotte St., 810-1923 Todd & Molly at 8 p.m. every Thur. Travis Elling at 8 p.m. every Fri. Mike Sweet and Karl with a “K” every Sat. Open Forum with Mike Sweet every Sun. HARRY’S SEAFOOD BAR & GRILLE, Quiet Riot: Local progressive metal band In Whispers (pictured) performs along with 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765 Mindslip, Allele, 2 Minute Wish and Nu Era on Feb. 25 at 6 p.m. at Brewster’s Pit, Stu Weaver every Mon. 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. In Whispers’ track “Here I Stand” is featured on the HURRICANE PATTY’S, 69 Lewis popular EA Sports NHL 11 video game. Tickets are $10. 223-9850. Blvd., 827-1822 Those Guys every Tue. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Wed. Billy Buchanan every Thur. Dewey Via every Sun. KARMA, 822 A1A N., 834-3942 Ace Winn at 6 p.m. on Feb. JACK’S BARBECUE, 691 A1A Beach Blvd., 460-8100 25. Just Friends on Feb. 26 Jim Essery at 4 p.m. every Sat. Live music every Thur.-Sat. NINETEEN AT SAWGRASS, 110 Championship Way, JOHNNY’S, 3009 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 829-8333 273-3235 Time2Swing at 6 p.m. every Jazz Thur. Strings of Montage features electro, dance & indie every Mon. Fire from 6-9 p.m. every Sat. KING’S HEAD BRITISH PUB, 6460 U.S. 1, 823-9787 Mike PUSSER’S CARIBBEAN GRILLE, 816 A1A N., Ste. 100, Sweet from 6-8 p.m. every Thur. 280-7766 Alex Seier from 7-11 p.m. on Feb. 25. Cason from KOZMIC BLUZ PIZZA CAFE & ALE, 48 Spanish St., 7-11 p.m. on Feb. 26. Live music every Thur.-Sun. 825-4805 Live music every Fri., Sat. & Sun. URBAN FLATS, 330 A1A N., 280-5515 High Tides of Jazz at LOCAL HEROES CAFE, 11 Spanish St., 825-0060 Glam 7:30 p.m. on Feb. 24. Mark O’Quinn on Feb. 25. Darren Corlew punk rock dance party Radio Hot Elf with DJ Dylan Nirvana Band on Feb. 26. Darren Corlew every Tue. Soulo & Deron from 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Fri. Baker every Wed. MARDI GRAS, 123 San Marco Ave., 540-2824 Battle of the DJs with Josh Frazetta & Mardi Gras Mike every last Sun. MEEHAN’S IRISH PUB, 20 Avenida Menendez, 810-1923 RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE Live music every Fri. & Sat. BIRDIE’S CAFE, 1044 Park St., 329-3374 Rotating bands MI CASA CAFE, 69 St. George St., 824-9317 Chelsea and DJs every Fri. DJ Tom Pennington every Sat. Saddler noon-4 p.m. every Mon., Tue. & Thur. Amy Hendrickson FATKATS NIGHT CLUB, 1187 S. Edgewood Ave., 994-5201 every Sun. & Wed. East Coast Corruption, The iGive and Loyal Society on Feb. 26. MILL TOP TAVERN & LISTENING ROOM, 19 1/2 St. George Waylay plays every Thur. Live music & DJ Lavo spinning hip St., 829-2329 Marc Douglas Berardo on Feb. 25 & 26. hop, rock, reggae, punk; Caden spins house, techno, breaks, Katherine Archer at 1 p.m. on Feb. 27. Will Pearsall every Mon. drum & bass at 9 p.m. every Flashback Fri. Vinny Jacobs every Tue. Todd & Molly Jones at 9 p.m. every HJ’S BAR & GRILL, 8540 Argyle Forest Blvd., 317-2783 Wed. Colton McKenna at 9 p.m. every Thur. Karaoke with DJ Ron at 8:30 p.m. every Tue. & DJ Richie at THE OASIS, 4000 A1A & Ocean Trace, 471-3424 Those every Fri. Live music every Sat. Open mic at 8 p.m. every Wed. Guys every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Chris C4Mann KICKBACKS, 910 King St., 388-9551 Dave Massey every every Mon. Tue. Ray & Taylor every Thur. Robby Shenk every Sun. O.C. WHITES, 118 Avenida Menendez, 824-0808 Mike LOMAX LODGE, 822 Lomax St., 634-8813 Paten Locke Howard every Mon. & Tue. Rob Peck every Wed. Gary Campbell spins funk, soul, classics & hip hop on Feb. 25. DJ Dots every every Fri. & Sat. Scott Sweat every Sun. Tue. Reggae with Milan da Tin Man every Wed. DJ Christian THE REEF, 4100 Coastal Hwy., Vilano Beach, 824-8008 every Sat. DJ Spencer every Sun. DJ Luminous every Mon. LoriAnn on Feb. 25. Elizabeth Williamson on Feb. 26. Richard METRO, 2929 Plum St., 388-8719 DJ Chadpole every Fri. & Kuncicky from 11 a.m.-2:30 p.m. every Sun. Sat. Karaoke with KJ Rob every Sun., Mon. & Tue. RHETT’S PIANO BAR & BRASSERIE, 66 Hypolita St., MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BBQ, 4838 Highway Ave., 825-0502 Live jazz at 7 p.m. every night 389-5551 Bluegrass Nite every Fri. RING OF FIRE HONKY TONK, 113 Anastasia Blvd., THE MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave., 460-2641 Grandpa’s Cough Medicine on Feb. 25. Ty Segall, 388-7807 Remedy Drive, Kaliyl and The TellTale Heart at 7 The Cougs and Alligator on March 2 p.m. on Feb. 24. Big Fil, Blameless, Jovan McKenzey, DJ Red SANGRIAS PIANO BAR, 35 Hypolita St., 827-1947 Sammy Hot and DJ Will at 7:30 p.m. on Feb. 25. every Tue. Acoustic Soul Searchers every Wed. Jim Asalta every WALKERS, 2692 Post St., 894-7465 Jax Arts Collaborative Thur. Jazz trios every Fri. The Housecats every Sat. Sunny & the every Tue. Patrick & Burt every Wed. DJ Jeremiah every Thur. Flashbacks rotate with Soulo every Sun. Acoustic every Thur.-Sat. Dr. Bill & His Solo Practice of Music at SCARLETT O’HARA’S, 70 Hypolita St., 824-6535 Battle of 5 p.m. every Fri. the Bands at 8 p.m. every Thur. DJ Echo hosts Karaoke every Mon. Amy Hendrickson and Battle of the Bands every Thur. THE TASTING ROOM, 25 Cuna St., 810-2400 Live music ST. AUGUSTINE nightly. Bossa nova with Monica da Silva & Chad Alger from (In St. Augustine unless otherwise noted) 5-8 p.m. every Sun. A1A ALE WORKS, 1 King St., 829-2977 Deron Baker on Feb. TINI MARTINI BAR, 24 Avenida Menendez, 829-0928 Al 24. Sentropolis on Feb. 25. Waters on Feb. 25. Bob Fraioli and Stan Piper on Feb. 26. Bob Fraioli every Thur. AMICI ITALIAN RESTAURANT, 1915 A1A S., 461-0102 TWO HUNDRED LOUNGE, 200 Anastasia Blvd., 342-0378 Gary Wingard every Thur. Live music every Thur. & Fri. DJs spin every Sat. & Sun. ANN O’MALLEY’S, 23 Orange St., 825-4040 Open mic with ZHANRAS, 108 Anastasia Blvd., 823-3367 Chubby McG on Smokin Joe from 7-10 p.m. on Feb. 22. Patrick Sullivan at Feb. 23. Wild Wess on Feb. 24. Live music on Feb. 25 & 26. 6:30 p.m. on Feb. 23. Shane Billette at 8:30 p.m. on Feb. 25. Deron Baker & Soulo every Tue. DJ Cep spins ’80s & disco Tom & Jerry at 8:30 p.m. on Feb. 26. Karaoke on Feb. 27 every Sun. Vinny Jacobs open mic every Mon. BENITO’S ITALIAN CAFE & PIZZERIA, 155 Hampton Point Dr., 230-8292 Live music every Fri. & Sat. THE BRITISH PUB, 213 Anastasia Blvd., 810-5111 Karaoke ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER, TINSELTOWN College Party Nite at 9 p.m. on Feb. 25. Karaoke with Jimmy AROMAS CIGARS & WINE BAR, 4372 Southside Blvd., Ste. Jamez on Feb. 26. Jukebox nite on Feb. 27. Open mic night 201, 928-0515 W. Harvey Williams every Tue. DJ Royal at 8 with Christi Harris at 8:30 p.m. on Feb. 28. Karaoke with p.m. every Wed. & Thur. Live music every Wed. & Thur. Latin Jimmy Jamez at 9 p.m. every Thur. & Sat. music & DJ Benz every Fri. Live music & DJ T-Rav every Sat. CELLAR UPSTAIRS, San Sebastian Winery, 157 King St., THE BRASS MONKEY, 9734 Deerlake Ct., 996-8277 Alex 826-1594 The Mix at 7 p.m. on Feb. 25. Preston Pohl at 2 Seier & Ron Rodriguez rotate every acoustic Tue. Live music p.m., The Roland Fleming Connection at 7 p.m. on Feb. 26. every Wed. DJ Fuller spins every Thur. A DJ spins every Jazz Vinny Jacobs at 2 p.m. on Feb. 27 Fri. Miley on Meth every SIN Mon. CHICAGO PIZZA & BAKERY, 107 Natures Walk Pkwy., Ste. THE GRAPE, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-7111 Live music 101, 230-9700 Greg Flowers hosts open-mic and jazz piano every Fri. & Sat. John Earle every Mon. DJ Mikeology spins from 7-10 p.m. every Tue. Live music every Fri. lounge from 5-9 p.m. every Thur. CONCH HOUSE LOUNGE, 57 Comares Ave., 829-8646 Brad

ISLAND GIRL Wine & Cigar Bar, 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115, 854-6060 Jazz every Wed. Live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Court, Ste. 1, 997-1955 Aaron Sheeks on Feb. 23. Charlie Walker on Feb. 24. Groovy Dog on Feb. 26. John Earle on Feb. 27. Open mic nite every Tue. SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY, 9735 Gate Parkway N., 997-1999 Chuck Nash every Thur. Live music at 10 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. SUITE, 4880 Big Island Dr., 493-9305 DJ Marvel and Musikology on Feb. 24. C’Nergy on Feb. 25. DJ Nova and C’Nergy on Feb. 26. DJ Marvel on Feb. 28. Danny Lazara at 7:30 p.m. on March 1 URBAN FLATS, 9726 Touchton Rd., 642-1488 Live music every Fri. & Sat. WHISKY RIVER, 4850 Big Island Drive, 645-5571 Down Theory every Mon. Live music every Thur. A DJ spins every Fri. & Sat. WILD WING CAFE, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Peter Dearing Band every Wed. DJ Chad spins dance every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

ENDO EXO, 1224 Kings Ave., 396-7733 Paten Locke spins classic boombox, hip hop and tru school every Thur. Reggae every Sun. Open mic with King Ron & T-Roy every Mon. DJ J-Money spins acid jazz, soul, R&B & house every Fri. DJ Manus spins top 40 & dance every Underground Eden; dance & top 40 every Sat. DJ Ian spins every Reggae Sun. EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 399-1740 Buskin & Batteau and Castlebay on Feb. 24. Von Barlow’s Jazz Journey at 8 p.m. on March 1. Jazz every 2nd Tue. HAVANA-JAX CUBA LIBRE BAR LOUNGE, 2578 Atlantic Blvd., 399-0609 MVP Band from 6-9 p.m., DJs No Fame & Dr. Doom every Wed. Jazz Night every Thur. DJ Stylez every 2nd Thur. Strings of Fire Band at 7:30 p.m., DJ Omar spins dance every Fri. DJs Harry, Rico & Nestor spin salsa every Sat. JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 The Creepshow and The 77d’s on Feb. 23. Tyranny and Fall of a Nation on Feb. 24. Neil Hamburger, JP Inc. and Patrick Steen on Feb. 25. Thieves In Exile, Hollander, Pilly Wete and Burnheart on Feb. 26. Tim Barry, Greenland Is Melting, Beau Crum and Rebels & Rogues on Feb. 27 MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922 Brazilian bossa nova with Monica da Silva & Chad Alger at 7 p.m. every Thur. RIVER CITY BREWING CO., 835 Museum Cir., 398-2299 Open mic with TJ Ward every Tue. DJ G-Man at 8 p.m. every Sat. SQUARE ONE, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 306-9004 Class Act Band from 8:30 p.m.-1 a.m. on March 5 & 19. Soul on the Square & Band of Destiny at 8 p.m. every Mon. John Earle Band every Tue. DJs Wes Reed & Matt Caulder spin indie dance & electro every Wed. Split Tone & DJ Comic every Thur. Live music every Fri. DJ Dr. Doom spins at 10 p.m. every Mon.

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SOUTHSIDE

CORNER BISTRO & Wine Bar, 9823 Tapestry Park Cir., Ste. 1, 619-1931 Matt “Pianoman” Hall at 8 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717 Wilson Family Band at 8 p.m. on Feb. 26. Mardi Gras with JB Scott’s Swingin’ Allstars at 8 p.m. every 1st Mon.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

BOOTS-N-BOTTLES, 12405 N. Main St., Ste. 7, Oceanway, 647-7798 Lift on Feb. 25 & 26. Open mic jam every Wed. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Thur. A DJ spins every Fri. & Sat. Live music every weekend THE DAMES POINT MARINA, 4518 Irving Rd., 751-3043 Mr. Natural from 2-6 p.m. on Feb. 26 FLIGHT 747 LOUNGE, 1500 Airport Rd., 741-4073 Big Engine every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. ’70s every Tue. SHANTYTOWN PUB, 22 W. Sixth St., 798-8222 Tree Party, The Great Working and Hungry Holograms on Feb. 23. Reggae with Milan da Tin Man at 10 p.m. every Tue. DJs Dots & Space Mike every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. SHARKY’S WINGS & GRILL, 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., Oceanway, 714-0995 Karaoke at 7 p.m. every Wed. & Thur. DJ Slim Wicked at 9 p.m. every Fri. Live music at 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. SKYLINE SPORTSBAR & LOUNGE, 5611 Norwood Ave., 517-6973 Bigga Rankin & Cool Running DJs every Tue. & 1st Sun. The Fusion Band & DJ every Thur. A DJ spins every Sat. DJ Scar spins at 9 p.m. every Sun. THREE LAYERS CAFE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 John Buscemi, Caitlin Reed, Matt Minchew and Pat’s Trio at 7 p.m. on Feb. 25. Rachel Sage at 7 p.m. on Feb. 26. Goliath Flores at noon on Feb. 27. Karaoke every Tue. Al Poindexter at noon every Wed., at 7 p.m. every Thur. 3 LIONS SPORTS PUB & GRILL, 2467 Faye Road, Northside, 647-8625 Open mic at 8 p.m. every Thur. Woodie & Wyatt C. every Fri. Live music at 8 p.m. every Sat. To be included in the live music listing, send all the vitals — time, date, location with street address, city, admission price and contact number — to Dan Brown, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 or email events@folioweekly.com

FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 27

The many faces of mirthful madness: Comedian Neil Hamburger.

Uncle Meat

Comedian Neil Hamburger suffers for his art so you don’t have to! NEIL HAMBURGER with JP INC., PATRICK STEEN Friday, Feb. 25 at 8 p.m. Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville Tickets are $8 398-7496

he stereotype of the tortured artist is nearly as old as the act of artistic creation. One wonders if, after that first Neanderthal draftsman carved out his initial cave scribblings, the hirsute bug-eater wasn’t suddenly overcome with a soul-crushing sense of worthlessness. For better or worse, the idea that art is suffering is a cliché that rests somewhere between enduring a shitty childhood, wearing a beret and, let’s face it, emitting some knee-buckling halitosis. Even a cursory glance reveals a roll call of artistic martyrdom: Van Gogh cut off his ear and offed himself, Sylvia Plath chose death via Easy Bake oven, Toulouse-Lautrec was an unwitting participant in many a Montmarte Midget Toss and comedian Neil Hamburger must travel the grueling circuit of the contemporary comedian. Since the early ’90s, Hamburger has released more than a dozen comedy albums, performed on “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” FOX News’ “Red Eye” and on Tom Green’s late night shows, and opened for many celebrity-rockers-turned-fans, including Tenacious D, Melvins, A Perfect Circle and Iron & Wine. The brainchild and alter ego of 44-year-old punk-rocker Gregg Turkington, Neil Hamburger takes on everything from Princess Diana to Red Hot Chili Peppers, all delivered with a throat-clearing punctuation (seemingly to “block out” the many hecklers). The sad-sack funnyman sports a tuxedo and greasy combover, while clutching an ever-present cocktail. Though comparisons could be drawn to the late Andy Kaufman and his vulgar alter ego, Tony Clifton, it’s pretty safe to say Clifton never delivered this typical Hamburger zinger: “Why did Michael Jackson hang his infant son from a balcony? Because he wouldn’t finish his saucer of human sperm.” Ba-doom!

28 | FOLIO WEEKLY | FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011

When Folio Weekly contacted Hamburger’s current record label, Drag City, about a phone interview, we were given only one ground rule: Do not mention Turkington. Honoring that promise, here are some highlights of our 45-minute talk. Folio Weekly: What’s a typical day on the road for Neil Hamburger? Neil Hamburger: Typically we drive around 700 miles a day so there’s a lot of time for the mind to wander. And that’s not a good thing. And then you get to the show, usually very tired, demoralized and hungry. So then you get on stage and my job is to forget the problems that I have and concentrate on relieving everyone else’s problems by telling some jokes. Because let’s face it, everyone’s got a lot of

“We did stay in a real dump of a hotel out there by where the Lynyrd Skynyrd guy was buried. Which is too bad. You’d like to think that if you’ve given the world so much music that you would at least be buried near a Courtyard by Marriott or something like that.” problems these days with the disease and the unemployment and just being overall miserable — some of them with personality disorders. F.W.: You’re well-connected in Hollywood. Do you have any inside celebrity gossip to share? N.H.: Well, I can tell you that they’re all

dirtbags. These people are vermin. F.W.: Why do you think that is? Could being a dirtbag be the first vow of Scientology? N.H.: Well, I think that’s half of it but I don’t want to get your newspaper shut down by saying it. F.W.: Why do you think America is obsessed with older women, i.e., MILFS, Cougars and Mama Grizzlies? N.H.: I think it’s because we are all getting older ourselves. Everyone is going down the goddamned drain — quickly. F.W.: Lady Gaga announced she’s developing her new signature perfume that will smell of blood and semen. What would your signature cologne smell like? N.H.: Probably tonic water. Quinine. F.W.: Neil, do you have any spiritual beliefs? N.H.: Well, I did. And then all of these horrible things started to happen and it’s hard to maintain your faith when one shitty thing after another happens. That’s when you give it up. F.W.: Have you ever considered yoga? N.H.: I don’t think I can afford that. That’s more expensive than Scientology. F.W.: Do you have any fond memories of performing here in Jacksonville? N.H.: We’ve had a great couple of times performing there. The last time we were there, they had a couple bottles of champagne waiting for us and that’s the first time that ever happened and it will probably never happen again. We did stay in a real dump of a hotel out there by where the Lynyrd Skynyrd guy was buried. Which is too bad. You’d like to think that if you’ve given the world so much music that you would at least be buried near a Courtyard by Marriott or something like that. Dan Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com

PERFORMANCE WHAT MY HUSBAND DOESN’T KNOW David E. Talbert presents this tale of love and temptation at 3 and 7:30 p.m. on Feb. 26 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $35.50-$42.50. 355-2787. SWAN LAKE The Russian National Ballet Theatre presents Tchaikovsky’s magical opus at 7:30 p.m. on Feb. 26 at Thrasher Horne Center for the Arts, 283 College Drive, Orange Park. Tickets range from $28-$48. 276-6750. THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES Eve Ensler’s acclaimed Off Broadway play is staged at 6:30 p.m. on Feb. 25 and 26 at 5 Points Theatre, 1028 Park St., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. Proceeds benefit Hubbard House. 359-0047. THE DAY THEY SHOT JOHN LENNON A Classic Theatre stages James McLure’s drama at 7:30 p.m. on Feb. 24, 25 and 26 at San Marco Theater, 28 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine. Tickets are $20; $18 for seniors, $10 for students. 829-5807. CABARET Amelia Community Theatre presents this winning musical about pre-WWII Berlin at 8 p.m. Feb. 23-26 at 209 Cedar St., Fernandina Beach. Tickets are $20; $10 for students ages 18 and younger. 261-6749. THE CREATIONISTS Joshua Kreis McTiernan’s absurdist comedy is staged at 8 p.m. on Feb. 24, 25 and 26 at Players by the Sea, 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach. Admission is $15; $12 for students. 249-0289. THE LIVES & WIVES OF HENRY FLAGLER Limelight Theatre and Raintree Restaurant present this dinner theater experience at 6 p.m. on Feb. 27 and March 6 at 102 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine. Tickets are $39.95. 825-1164. TANGO INFERNO The dance floor is set ablaze during this night of seductive dance at 7:30 p.m. on Feb. 22 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $35-$81. 632-3373. GYPSY Stephen Sondheim’s story of famed striptease artist Gypsy Lee Rose is staged at 7:30 p.m. on Feb. 22, 24, 25, 26 and March 1 and at 2 p.m. on Feb. 27 at Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine. Tickets are $25; $22 for seniors, $20 for military and students. 825-1164. A THOUSAND CRANES Limelight Theatre’s Lunchbox Series presents this kid-geared story about a young man’s campaign to end nuclear war at 10:30 a.m. on March 1 at 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine. Tickets are $10; $5 for students. 825-1164. HAIRSPRAY This musical adaptation of John Waters’ comedy about 1960s dance contests is staged at 8 p.m. Feb. 22-27, at 1:15 p.m. on Feb. 26 and 2 p.m. on Feb. 27 at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $45 and $49; $42 for matinees. 641-1212. A TRIBUTE TO HISTORY Students from Davis Performing Arts present a tribute to history through theater, dance and music at 6 p.m. on March 1 at 4012 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. 303-3193. BLACK HISTORY MONTH CHORALE CONCERT The Paxon School of Advanced Studies choruses and Jacksonville Mass Choir present this tribute to African American composers at 3:30 p.m. on Feb. 27 at Shiloh Metropolitan Baptist Church, 1118 W. Beaver St., Jacksonville. Tickets are $5. 504-2763.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS PETER AND THE WOLF OPEN CALL The St. Augustine Community Ballet holds auditions for the role of Grandfather (ages 35-60) for its production of Prokofiev’s “Peter and the Wolf” at 9 a.m. on Feb. 26 at Abella’s School of Dance, 1765 Tree Blvd., St. Augustine. The role requires dancing and dramatic skills. Performance dates are May 6 and 8. 810-5670. ACTORS WANTED ABET holds auditions, for four women and three men, ages 20s-60s, for the musical comedy “Bookstore” from 12:30-3:30 p.m. on Feb. 26 and from 6-8 p.m. on Feb. 28 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach. Audition includes cold reading and 16 bars accompaniment with pianist. 249-7111. CALL FOR RECYCLED BOTTLE ART St. Augustine Sculpture Garden seeks original recycled glass bottle (wine or liquor) art to be sold to raise funds to complete the projected community sculpture garden. Artists may submit up to three pieces decorated in any media. All pieces are to be photographed for the garden’s website. Deadline for submissions is March 15. Artwork should be delivered to Butterfield Garage, 137 King St., St. Augustine. 825-4577. st-augustine-sculpture-garden.org PHOTO SAFARI GTM Research Reserve offers a photographic workshop and safari from 8-11 a.m. at Guana Reserve’s Trailhead Pavilion, 505 Guana River Road, Ponte Vedra Beach. Cost is $69. Proceeds benefit the park. 823-4500. EDITING ARTWORK IN PHOTOSHOP Pablo Rivera and Suzanne Picket offer an overview of Photoshop from 10 a.m.noon on Feb. 26 at The Art Center Cooperative II, 229 N. Hogan St., Jacksonville. The fee is $10; $5 for members. 537-3364. CALLING ALL ARTISTS First Coast Art seeks submissions from artists working in two-dimensional mediums for the upcoming juried exhibit, “A Magical History Tour, Act I and II.” Entries are accepted from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. on March 1 and 10 a.m.-noon on March 2 at Beaches Museum and History Center, 380 Pablo Ave., Jax Beach. Entry fees are

Cut and Paste: The exhibit “Beautiful Ugly” features recent works by Rebecca Davisson (Pictured, “ALL Singing ALL Dancing,” 2010, 14”X14”) and Patrick Golden at Williams-Cornelius Gallery, located in Daryl Bunn Studios, 643 Edison Ave., Jacksonville. The show, which runs through March 8, takes its name from the methodology used to create these works, with the pair taking “from the ugly to create beauty.” 525-3368. $10 per picture. Two pieces may be submitted. For details, call 241-5657 or 247-4335, ext. 4. AFRICAN HAND DRUM CLASS Midnight Sun offers hand drum classes at 7 p.m. every Tue. at 1055 Park St., Jacksonville. Class fee is $10. 358-3869. ROMANCE WRITERS’ CONFERENCE First Coast Romance Writers accept registrations for the “Light Up Your Career at the Southern Writers’ Conference” from 8 a.m.-5 p.m. on March 12 at Jacksonville Marriott, 4670 Salisbury Road. Workshops, a keynote luncheon and critique raffles are featured. Registration is $110. firstcoastromancewriters.com CALL TO ARTISTS The second annual Art & About Festival offers space for artists working in various media. The festival is held on April 30 at Town Hall Park, 2042 Park Ave., Orange Park. Entry deadline is Feb. 28. artguildoforangepark.com MUCH ADO ABOUT WOMEN St. Johns Cultural Council seeks portraits and self-portraits of women in all media for the exhibit “Much Ado About Women — Portraits of Diversity” opening March 6. Submissions, limited to one piece per artist, and entry fees are accepted from 10-11:30 a.m. on Feb. 26 at Holiday Inn & Suites, 1302 N. Ponce De Leon Blvd., St. Augustine. A $10 entry fee offers financial aid to women high school graduates seeking to further their studies in art. 471-9980.

CLASSICAL & JAZZ DAVID GARRETT The celebrated violinist performs at 8 p.m. on Feb. 24 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $35-$40. 355-2787. TCHAIKOVSKY’S FOURTH The Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra presents Tchaikovsky’s famous opus at 7:30 p.m. on Feb. 24, at 8 p.m. on Feb. 25 and 26 and at 11 a.m. on Feb. 25 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $26-$66. 354-5547. ARTURO SANDOVAL Trumpeter Sandoval performs at 7 p.m. on Feb. 25 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 N. A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach. Advance tickets are $45; $50 day of show. 209-0367. GREAT GUITAR GATHERING Tommy Emmanuel and Barry Greene lead Douglas Anderson School of the Arts’ guitar orchestra at 8 p.m. on Feb. 25 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. Tickets are $23.50. 355-2787. HONOR BAND CONCERT Bands from seven local private schools perform at 7:30 p.m. on Feb. 26 at Jacksonville University’s Terry Concert Hall, 2800 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. 256-7677. JOHNNY MATHIS This beloved crooner performs at 8 p.m. on Feb. 26 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $41-$131. 632-3373. BLACK HISTORY MONTH CONCERT Violinist Timothy Edwards and pianist Jeanne Huebner perform works by Chevalier de Saint Georges at 10:45 a.m. on Feb. 27 at Unitarian Universalist Church, 7405 Arlington Expressway, Jacksonville. 725-8133. SOLO PIANO RECITAL Dr. Gary Smart performs at 3 p.m. on Feb. 27 at University of North Florida’s Recital Hall, 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville. 620-2878. VON BARLOW’S JAZZ JOURNEY This jazz ensemble performs at 8 p.m. on March 1 at European Street Café, 1704 San Marco

Blvd., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $10. 399-1740.

ART WALKS & FESTIVALS DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts & crafts and local produce are offered every Fri. from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Drive, downtown. 353-1188. UPTOWN SATURDAY NIGHT Galleries, antique stores and shops are open from 5-9 p.m. on Feb. 26 in St. Augustine’s San Marco District. 824-3152.

MUSEUMS AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY 233 S. Third St., Fernandina Beach, 261-7378. A display of paintings by The Highwaymen runs through March. The museum’s permanent collection includes artifacts from Nassau County’s Spanish Mission period. BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY CENTER 413 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657. Painter Ellen Jones’ “The Roaring 20s: Transportation Beaches Style” runs from March 1 through April 2. “Oceans 22,” featuring works by acrylic artist Janet Wilson, is on display through Feb. 26. An exhibit of new works by Lyn Nix, Gordon Russell and Bruce Ann Ferguson, “A View from the Atlantic,” is on display through March 1. CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530. Christine Nguyen’s exhibit, “Powers of the Cosmic Dusty Seas,” runs through Feb. 25. CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., Jacksonville, 356-6857. The Collection Tour is held from 7-7:45 p.m. on Feb. 22 and from 3-3:45 p.m. on Feb. 27. “The Cummer Legacy” runs through May 22. The photographic exhibition, “A Genius for Place: American Landscapes of the Country Place Era,” runs through April 24. The exhibit “Art Beyond Sight” is on display through March 6. A drop-in art class allows kids ages 4-10 to explore the galleries and create their own art from 5-6 p.m. on Feb. 22. The fee is $5 for non-members. “Women of Vision: Art Beyond Sight” runs through March 6. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Jacksonville, 356-2992. A collection of Sigmund Freud-related manuscripts are on display through April. Multimedia works by Adrian Rhodes and Yuwnus Asami are on display through Feb. 24. Open Tue.-Fri., 10 a.m.-3 p.m.; Sat. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Jacksonville, 366-6911. The film “Objectified” is screened at 6 p.m. on Feb. 24. Admission is $8; $6 for members and students. “Wind Weaver and the Whirling Wheel: A Tale of Wolfbat Romance” runs through March 20. “The Art of Seating: 200 Years of American Design” runs through April 3. Family Fun Free Day is held from noon-4 p.m. every Sun. Open Tue.-Sun. mocajacksonville.org MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville, 396-6674. The Bryan Gooding Planetarium offers daily programs including children’s features, and weekend Cosmic Concerts. Open daily. RITZ THEATRE & LaVILLA MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., Jacksonville, 632-5555. The exhibit “Through Our Eyes”

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opens on Feb. 24 and runs through May 21. The Fats Waller musical review “Ain’t Misbehavin’” is staged at 8 p.m. on Feb. 26. Tickets are $20. “Lift Ev’ry Voice in LaVilla,” an exhibit of African-American history in Jacksonville, is on permanent display. Admission is $6 for adults, $3 for children, students and seniors. Open Tue.-Sun.

GALLERIES THE ART CENTER COOPERATIVE GALLERY 31 W. Adams St., Jacksonville, 355-1757. Marsha Hatcher is the featured artist for Feb. ARTIFACTORY GALLERY 1801 N. Myrtle St., Jacksonville, 632-2345. Historic Durkeeville’s gallery space doubles as a game room for chess players. West African Dance classes are held at 6:30 p.m. every Thur. Each class is $10; $8 for ages 12 and under. ARTISTREE GALLERY 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 5, Atlantic Beach, 241-0426. Courtney Barriger is the featured artist for Feb. AVONDALE ARTWORKS 3568 St. Johns Ave., Jacksonville, 384-8797. The juried art exhibit “Layers: A Visual Dialogue” runs through March 15. BUTTERFIELD GARAGE ART GALLERY, BUTTERFIELD GARAGE TOO 137/137-C King St., St. Augustine, 825-4577, 829-0078. Jan Miller and Sam D. Thomas are the featured artists for Feb. CORSE GALLERY & ATELIER 4144 Herschel St., Jacksonville, 388-8205. New works by Alice Williams, Beth Myers and Mary Garrish are on display through Feb. THE CULTURAL CENTER AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-0614. An opening reception for photographer Ryan Ketterman’s and ceramist Stephen Haywood’s exhibit, “Structures in Reality: Art & Life Contained,” is held from 6:30-8 p.m. on Feb. 25. The show runs through April 8. FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928. The exhibit “Salt Air Visions” runs through April 4 and features works by the collective First Coast Pastel Society. GALERIA DEL MAR 9 King St., St. Augustine, 829-2120. Paintings by Michael and Inessa Garmash are on display through March 4. GALLERY 1037 Located at Reddi-Arts, 1037 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville, 398-3161. Works by artists from the Jacksonville Consortium of African-American Artists are on display through Feb. 28. HASKELL GALLERY JIA, 14201 Pecan Park Road, 741-3546. Works by Annelies Dykgraaf and Robert Cocanougher are on display through March. ISLAND ARTS ASSOCIATION 18 N. Second St., Fernandina Beach, 261-7020. This gallery features juried shows focusing on Nassau County artists. JAXPORT GALLERY 2831 Talleyrand Ave., Jacksonville, 357-3000. The exhibit “Mixed Cargo” runs through Feb. 28. Works by Mary St. Germain are on display from March 1-April 8. KENT CAMPUS GALLERY Rm. E112a, FSCJ, 3939 Roosevelt Blvd., Jacksonville, 381-3674. The “Reunion Show” runs through March 1. LUFRANO INTERCULTURAL GALLERY 1 UNF Drive, Student Union Bldg. 58 E., Ste. 2401, Jacksonville, 620-2475. Photographer Erik Tanner’s exhibit, “The Camp: Life Between the Trees and the End of the Road,” is on display through Feb. 23. The work deals with everyday experiences at a homeless camp. MAIN LIBRARY 303 N. Laura St., Jacksonville, 630-2665. The Holocaust exhibit, “Deadly Medicine: Creating the Master Race,” is displayed on the fourth floor through March 13. ROTUNDA GALLERY St. Johns County Admin. Bldg., 500 San Sebastian View, St. Augustine, 471-9980. The exhibit “Friends and Family,” featuring photography by James Quine, Joseph and Theresa Segal, Kenneth M. Barrett Jr. and Walter, Karen and Brennan Coker, is displayed through April 8. SIMPLE GESTURES GALLERY 4 E. White St., St. Augustine, 827-9997. Mosaic artist Kevan Breitinger is the featured artist for Feb. Steve Marrazzo’s Valentine’s Day-themed assemblages are also featured. SOUTH GALLERY FSCJ’s South Campus, 11901 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville, 646-2023. “Repurpose,” an exhibit of art and installation using found and recycled objects, runs through March 3. SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 100 N. Laura St., Jacksonville, 553-6361. The Valentine’s Day-themed “Recent Heartworks by the Artists Collaborative” is displayed through Feb. UNIVERSITY OF NORTH FLORIDA Carpenter Library, Bldg. 12, 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville, 620-1000. Photographer Jeff Sheng’s exhibit, “Fearless,” is on display through Feb. Painter Gary Chapman gives a lecture from 3:30-4:30 p.m. and the closing reception for his show is held from 5-7 p.m. on Feb. 24 in the UNF Gallery. WILLIAMS-CORNELIUS GALLERY Located in Daryl Bunn Studios, 643 Edison Ave., Jacksonville. 525-3368. Rebecca Davisson and Patrick Golden’s exhibit, “Beautiful Ugly,” runs through March 8.

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FolioWeekly

For a complete list of galleries, log on to folioweekly.com. To list your event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price and contact number to print to Dan Brown, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 or email dbrown@folioweekly.com. JPEGs must be at least 3’x5’, 300 dpi to be considered for publication.

The VISTAKON Research Clinic in Jacksonville, FL through its partner ReSearch Pharmaceutical Services, Inc., is looking for soft contact lens wearers who may be eligible to participate in future studies directed toward the development and improvement of soft contact lenses. Studies may require participants to use investigational lenses and solutions not yet approved by the FDA.

Mission Accomplished! The 43rd U.S. President (now a bestselling author, y’all!) George W. Bush appears as part of the Florida Forum Series, presented by the Women’s Board of Wolfson Children’s Hospital, on March 1 at 7 p.m. at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $70-$95. Proceeds benefit Wolfson Children’s Hospital. 202-2886. floridaforum.com

BLACK HISTORY MONTH EVENTS

MLK LUNCHEON Author and commentator Juan Williams (possibly the only big name journalist to make the leap from NPR to FOX and live to tell) is the keynote speaker at the 30th annual Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Scholarship Luncheon held at 1:30 p.m. on Feb. 24 at University of North Florida’s University Center Grand Banquet Hall, 12000 Alumni Drive, Jacksonville. Tickets are $30. Williams discusses “Eyes on the Prize: America and the Dream.” 620-2878. AUTHOR MICHAEL DYSON The African American Student Union, an agency of UNF’s Student Government, presents author and renowned scholar Michael Eric Dyson at 7 p.m. on Feb. 23 at University of North Florida’s Robinson Theater, Building 14A, 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville. Dyson discusses race and culture. Admission is free. 620-2192. VIRGINIA LYNN MAYLAN Author Moylan presents her book, “Zora Neale Hurston’s Final Decade,” from 3-6 p.m. on Feb. 26 at Anastasia Books, 81C King St,, St. Augustine. 827-0075. KINGSLEY HERITAGE CELEBRATION The 13th annual Kingsley Heritage Celebration continues at 2 p.m. on Feb. 26 at Kingsley Plantation, 11676 Palmetto Ave., Jacksonville, located off Heckscher Drive. The African Caribbean Dance Theater pays tribute with “Homage to the Ancestors: A Guinea West African Dance.” Storyteller Mama Koku presents “From Freedom to Slavery to Freedom.” Admission is free. 251-3537. YOUNG BLACK INTELLECTUALS Applications are being accepted for this program for candidates in ninth-12th grade interested in exploring the history, culture and heritage to enhance their own development and intellectual foundation, held every Sat. from March 5-April 23 at the Ritz Theatre & LaVilla Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Jacksonville. ritzjacksonville.com

EVENTS

SCOTTISH GAMES The 16th annual Scottish Games and Festival is held from 9 a.m.-10 p.m. on Feb. 26 at Clay County Fairgrounds, 2497 S.R. 16 W., Green Cove Springs. Kilted golf tournaments, pub crawls, whiskey tasting, parade of tartans, battle axe throwing, Scottish foods and wares, kids’ games, falconry, traditional Scottish music and archery are featured. Tickets are $10; $12 at the gate. The Ceilidh (Scottish musical evening) features Seven Nations and others. 725-5744. neflgames.com PEACE CORPS EXPO The Peace Corps’ 50th Anniversary Regional Expo is held at 1:30 p.m. on Feb. 27 at the Main Public Library, 303 N. Laura St., Jacksonville. Kenton Ayers, Anne Baker and Michael Fackler are the featured speakers. 630-1420. FLORIDA FORUM The Women’s Board of Wolfson Children’s Hospital continues its Florida Forum Series with George W. Bush at 7 p.m. on March 1 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $70-$95. Proceeds benefit Wolfson Children’s Hospital. 202-2886. floridaforum.com WEATHERFEST This weather-related festival is held from 10 a.m.-5 p.m.

on Feb. 26 at University of North Florida, 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville. Emergency service groups showcase interactive displays, games and weather and hazard preparedness programs. Admission is free. Parking fees may apply. srh.noaa.gov/jax HISTORIC MILITARY SALUTE Living history group, La Compañía de Juan Ponce de León, re-enacts military maneuvers from 10 a.m.-5 p.m. on Feb. 26 at Fountain of Youth Archaeological Park, 11 Magnolia Ave., St. Augustine. 877-352-4478. FREE LUNCHEON SEMINAR Ronald Allen, certified financial planner for Bull & Bear Capital Advisors Inc., Martha Cox, vice president, Resource Development, Family Foundations and Ardeshir Ebrahimi, financial center manager, Fifth Third Bank, discuss “Tricks of the Trade: Outsmarting Investment Fraud,” at 11:30 a.m. on Feb. 24 at WJCT Studios, 100 Festival Park Ave., Jacksonville. 358-6391. wjct.org COSMIC CONCERTS Laser Magic at 5 p.m., The Beatles at 6 p.m., Led Zeppelin at 7 p.m., and U2 at 8 p.m. on Feb. 25 at Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville. Each concert is $5. 396-6674 ext. 240. moshplanetarium.org GIANTS BASKETBALL The still-undefeated (at presstime) Jacksonville Giants take on the Mobile Hurricanes at 5 p.m. on Feb. 27 at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., downtown. Tickets start at $4 (with a season pass). The 10th annual ABA All-Star Game is held at noon on Feb. 26; tickets range from $8$150. 355-6531. jacksonvillegiants.com

TO BE ELIGIBLE FOR PARTICIPATION IN RESEARCH STUDIES YOU SHOULD: • Be a current soft contact lens wearer • Have healthy, non diseased eyes • Be between the ages of 18 and 35 years old • Have been told by your doctor that you are far-sighted (plus-power prescription) VISTAKON®, Division of Johnson & Johnson Vision Care, Inc. is the manufacturer of the ACUVUE® Brand family of contact lenses including ACUVUE® OASYS® Brand Contact Lenses, ACUVUE® OASYS® Brand Contact Lenses for ASTIGMATISM, ACUVUE® OASYS® Brand Contact Lenses for PRESBYOPIA, and 1-DAY ACUVUE® MOIST® Brand Contact Lenses. If you fit these criteria you may be eligible to participate. Qualified participants may be compensated for their time. To see if you qualify and to find out about other requirements for study participation, please visit:

http://www.acuvue.com/researchclinic

POLITICS & ACTIVISM

STRUCTURAL RACISM IN HEALTH CARE A collaborative community-wide initiative to dismantle structural racism in health care outcomes and improve the health and well-being of all is presented at 7 p.m. (reception at 5:30 p.m.) on Feb. 28 at FSCJ, Downtown Campus, Advanced Technology Center, 401 W. State St., Jacksonville. Medical professionals, academic institutions and citizens are invited to participate. For reservations, call 899-6300 ext. 4113. MAYORAL FORUM The Nonprofit Center of Northeast Florida and the Donors Forum of Northeast Florida present a candidates forum from 3:30-5 p.m. on Feb. 23 at The Bridge of Northeast Florida, Weaver Zone Auditorium, 1824 Pearl St., Jacksonville. Participants include Alvin Brown, Warren Lee, Audrey Moran and Rick Mullaney. 390-3290. CITY COUNCIL FORUM “Downtown Turnaround,” a candidate forum, is held from 6-8 p.m. on Feb. 23 at Museum of Science & History’s Bryan Gooding Planetarium, 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville. Scheduled to appear are Don Redman, Johnny Gaffney, Marc McCollough, Warren Jones, Greg Anderson, Juan Diaz, Jim Robinson, Fred Engness, Sean Hall, Robin Lumb, Robin Rukab and Michelle Tappouni. Admission is free. 634-0303 ext. 221. RACE RELATIONS MAYORAL FORUM Jacksonville Urban League presents the mayoral candidate forum, “Facing the Reality of Race Relations in Jacksonville,” from 6-8 p.m. on Feb. 28 at LaVilla School of the Arts, 501 N. Davis St., downtown. 366-3461. WOMEN IN ELECTIONS The Junior League of Jacksonville hosts this panel discussion, featuring local women who have run for (or

FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 31

COMMUNITY INTEREST

FOUNDATION ACADEMY FUNDRAISER H.E.R.O.E.S. (Helping Educate Responsible, Outstanding & Enlightened Students) hosts the ninth annual “Wind Beneath My Wings” fundraiser at 6 p.m. on Feb. 25 at Casa Marina, 691 First St. N., Jacksonville Beach. Silent and live auctions are featured and Greek dancers perform. Tickets are $50. 207-8819. FLOWERING TREE SALE The 24th annual Greenscape flowering tree sale is held from 7 a.m.-1 p.m. on Feb. 26 at the intersection of Emerson Street and Philips Highway, Jacksonville. 398-5757. WHALE OF A SALE The Junior League of Jacksonville host its 20th annual garage sale from 8:30 a.m.-2 p.m. on Feb. 26 at Greater Jacksonville Fair & Expo Center, 510 Fairgrounds Place, Jacksonville. Admission is $2; parking is $5. 424-5368. jljacksonville.org FISH FRY FUNDRAISER The Durkeeville Historical Society holds a fish fry and book sale fundraiser from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. on Feb. 26 at the center, 1293 W. 19th St., Jacksonville. The center will be open for tours. 598-9567. BIKE & BOIL BENEFIT RIDE The inaugural motorcycle ride to benefit Angelwood and Builder’s Care is held on Feb. 26, starting from Adamec Harley-Davidson, 8909 Baymeadows Road, Jacksonville. Kickstands up at 10:30 a.m. Live music, a low country boil and a silent auction are featured. Riders are $30, passengers are $20. 493-1931. HOME ENERGY EVALUATION This hands-on workshop is held from 10 a.m.-noon on Feb. 26, at Main Library’s Multipurpose Room 3, conference level, 303 N. Laura St., 630-2665. Admission is free. coj.net RV SUPERSHOW The second annual RV show is held from 10 a.m.-6 p.m. on Feb. 24, 25 and 26 and from 11 a.m.-5 p.m. on Feb. 27 at Jacksonville Equestrian Center, 13611 Normandy Blvd. Tickets are $6; kids 12 and younger admitted free. 573-3150. SHELLS LECTURE Dr. Harry Lee and David Montgomery discuss the scientific and artistic diversity of seashells at 6 p.m. on Feb. 24 at the Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville. The lecture is $5, free for members. The exhibit “The Shell: 530 Million Years of Design” is open. Admission is $11 for adults, $9.50 for military and senior citizens, $9 for kids 3-12, and free for kids ages 2 and younger, and members. 396-6674. themosh.org FREE TAX PREP HELP For the fourth consecutive year, Beaches Emergency Assistance Ministry offers free income tax preparation services to families at the Beaches, from 1-4 p.m. every Fri. and from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. every Sat. at 850 Sixth Ave. S., Jax Beach. Clients may call for appointments at 241-2326 ext. 1. jaxbeam.org

KIDS

LIBRARY EVENTS Teens Read with Kids from 10 a.m.-noon on Feb. 26 at Ponte Vedra branch, 101 Library Blvd., Ponte Vedra. Teen Gaming is held from 5-7 p.m. on Feb. 28 for ages 11-18, to challenge friends on Nintendo Wii (on the big screen) and X-Box 360. Light refreshments provided by the Friends of the Ponte Vedra

32 | FOLIO WEEKLY | FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011

Beach Branch Library. After-school crafts are offered from 4-5 p.m. on March 2. sjcpls.org VPK ENROLLMENT St. Margaret’s Children’s House is currently enrolling children in its Voluntary Pre-Kindergarten program for school year 2011-’12. The program is free to children who will be four years old by Sept. 1, 2011. The campus is located at St. Margaret’s Episcopal Church, 6865 Pine Ave., Fleming Island. 284-1808. MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY The exhibit “The Shell: 530 Million Years of Design” is open at the museum, 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville. Admission is $11 for adults, $9.50 for military and senior citizens, $9 for kids 3-12, and free for kids ages 2 and younger, and members. 396-6674. themosh.org

Liam Happenstance

helped others run for) public office, on Feb. 23 at 6 p.m. at the league’s Riverside House, 2165 Park St. Scheduled to appear are State Attorney Angela Corey, Circuit Judge Elizabeth Senterfitt, Duval County School Board members Paula Wright and Martha Barrett, Jacksonville City Councilmember Denise Lee, Michelle Barth, regional director for U.S. Sen. Bill Nelson, and Susie Wiles, campaign manager for Gov. Rick Scott. 387-9927. COMMISSIONER MINER MEETINGS Commissioner Miner holds “Re-connect with the Community” meetings at 6 p.m. on Feb. 22 at Southeast Library, 6670 U.S. 1 S., St. Augustine; at 6 p.m. on Feb. 23 at Main Library, 1960 N. Ponce De Leon Blvd., St. Augustine; at 6 p.m. on Feb. 24 at Hastings Library, 6195 S. Main St., Hastings; at 6 p.m. on March 2 at Ponte Vedra Library, 101 Library Blvd., Ponte Vedra Beach and at 6 p.m. on March 3 at Bartram Trail Library, 60 Davis Pond Blvd., St. Johns. 209-0549. sjcfl.us ADVISORY BOARDS & COMMITTEES VACANCIES St. Johns County accepts applications for the Library Advisory Board, deadline Feb. 25; Planning & Zoning Agency, deadline Feb. 25; Ponte Vedra Architectural Review Committee, deadline March 11; Ponte Vedra Zoning & Adjustment Board, deadline March 11; Health & Human Services Advisory Council, deadline March 11. For specific requirements, call 209-0537 or email mlundquist@sjcfl.us. JACKSONVILLE JOURNEY The oversight committee of this crime-fighting initiative meets at 4 p.m. on March 17, April 21 and May 19 in Eighth Floor Conference Room 851, Ball Building, 214 N. Hogan St., Jacksonville. 630-1273.

BOOKS & WRITING

MASHA HAMILTON As part of the Writers in Residence lecture series, author Hamilton (“31 Hours”) appears at 7 p.m. on Feb. 24 in Flagler College auditorium, 14 Granada St., St. Augustine. Admission is free. 819-6400. THE BOOKMARK First-time novelist Karen Russell (“Swamplandia!”) appears at 7 p.m. on Feb. 25 at The BookMark, 220 First St., Neptune Beach. Bestselling author Randy Wayne White (“Night Vision”) appears at 7 p.m. on Feb. 26. 241-9026. ROMANCE AUTHORS Ancient City Romance Authors present author Mary Anna Evans, who writes the Faye Longchamp series, at 12:30 p.m. on Feb. 26 at Southeast Regional Library, 10599 Deerwood Park Blvd., Jacksonville. acrarwa.org EROTIC JOURNALING The Erotic Fantasy Journaling workshop, for women only, is held from 7-8:30 p.m. every Tue. through March 22, at 989 Monument Road, Ste. 1120, Jacksonville. The fee is $65. 476-5698. ST. JOHNS COUNTY READS The St. Johns County Public Library System holds its sixth annual community reading program, featuring Garth Stein’s “The Art of Racing in the Rain,” during February. Each library location holds a events, including book talks, pet adoption opportunities, a Hospice Five Wishes program and systemwide raffles. 827-6925. sjcpls.org

COMEDY

COMEDY ZONE “Hypnotist” Rich Guzzi appears at 8 p.m. Feb. 22-26, and at 10 p.m. on Feb. 25 and 26 for his “Xxxtreme Hypnosis Show” at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Road, in the Ramada Inn, Jacksonville. Tickets are $8-$14 for the 8 p.m. shows; $20 for the 10 p.m. “Xxxtreme” shows. 292-4242. JACKIE KNIGHT’S COMEDY CLUB Dean Napolitano and Carmen Morales appear on Feb. 25 and 26 at Jackie Knight’s Comedy Club, 3009 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd., St. Augustine (U.S. 1 & S.R. 16). 461-8843. COMEDY SUNDAYS Brian Foley hosts comedy at 7 p.m. every Sun. at Three Layers Café, 1602 Walnut St., Jacksonville. 355-9791.

UPCOMING

GEORGE LOPEZ March 4, The Florida Theatre CELEBRITY CHEFS BENEFIT March 10, Osborn Center HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS March 11, Veterans Memorial Arena GATE RIVER RUN March 12, Downtown Jax LEWIS BLACK March 13, The Florida Theatre DIRTY MARTINIS FOR CLEAN WATER II March 18, WJCT Studios POLITICAL HOB NOB March 22, Hyatt Regency Riverfront THE UPRIGHT CITIZENS BRIGADE COMEDY TOUR April 23, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BILL MAHER May 27, The Florida Theatre

NATURE & OUTDOORS

RESEARCHER FOR A DAY GTM Research Reserve educator Katie King discusses the importance of fire in Florida’s environment from 10-11 a.m. on Feb. 24 at GTMRR Environmental Education Center, 505 Guana River Road, Ponte Vedra Beach. Participants then head out to observe a recently burned area on a short trail walk. Appropriate for ages 16 and older. Admission is $2 for adults, $1 for children 10-17. Reservations are required. 823-4500. FRIENDS OF A1A EVENTS The Windswept Acres Park public workshop is held from 3-5:30 p.m. on Feb. 23 at the park, 5385 A1A S., St. Augustine. Interpretive sign plans are reviewed. 209-0333. scenica1a.org WINTER SHOREBIRDS Duval Audubon holds a field trip at 8:30 a.m. on Feb. 26

Tree Party! Greenscape of Jacksonville’s 24th Annual Flowering Tree Sale is held on Feb. 26 from 7 a.m.-1 p.m. at the intersection of Emerson Street and Philips Highway, Jacksonville. Thousands of trees in 3-gallon containers are available for $10 each. 398-5757. greenscapeofjacksonville.org at Huguenot Memorial Park, 10980 Heckscher Drive, Jacksonville. Meet at 8:15 am in the parking lot before the pay station. 945-1939. KAYAK RACE The Public Trust celebrates the release of its Timucuan Trail Waterway Paddling Guide with a kayak race, prizes, race-day T-shirt and laminated guides from noon-3 p.m. on Feb. 26 at Kayak Amelia, in Big Talbot Island State Park, 13030 Heckscher Drive, Jacksonville. For registration details, call 247-1972 ext. 418. OYSTER CREEK CLEANUP The St. Johns County Audubon Society conducts a cleanup of its adopted waterbody Oyster Creek from 9 a.m.-noon on Feb. 26. For details, email adoptawaterbody@yahoo.com. stjohnsaudubon.org TALBOT CRITTERS A ranger discusses “Talbot Critters,” species that inhabit the natural communities of the undeveloped barrier islands of Northeast Florida, at 2 p.m. on Feb. 26 at Pavilion 1 at Little Talbot Island State Park, 12157 Heckscher Drive, Jacksonville. No reservations are necessary and the program is free with regular park admission. 251-2320. RIVER-TO-SEA BIKE TOUR The nonprofit Bike Florida holds a 260-mile tour starting Feb. 26, following the St. Johns River-to-Sea Loop Trail. Stops at museums, lighthouses, parks and monuments are featured. Tour cost is $1,795, which includes overnights, some meals, guides and maps. bikeflorida.org SATURDAY BICYCLE RIDE The North Florida Bicycle Club St. Augustine Chapter holds a weekly bike ride at 8:30 a.m. every Sat., leaving from Cobblestone Center, off C.R. 312, St. Augustine. Cyclists can choose from routes of 53, 32 or 17 miles, with Ride Leaders accompanying up to three groups for each route. Helmets are required and riders are required to observe applicable traffic laws. 669-0858. nfbc.us

BUSINESS

CHAMBER AFTER HOURS Ponte Vedra Chamber of Commerce meets at 5:30 p.m. on Feb. 23 at David Weekley Homes, 52 Carrier Drive, Ponte Vedra. Admission is free for members and first-time guests. 285-2004. AIFBY CHAMBER The inaugural new member breakfast is held at 8:30 a.m. on Feb. 22 at Jack & Diane’s, 708 Centre St., Fernandina Beach. 261-3248. SOUTHSIDE BUSINESS MEN’S CLUB Warren Grymes, with Big Brother Big Sister, is the featured speaker at noon on Feb. 23 at San Jose Country Club, 7529 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville. Admission is $20 for

members, $25 for nonmembers. 396-5559. annie.sbmc@yahoo.com JACKSONVILLE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE A Beaches mixer is held from 5:30-7:30 p.m. on March 1 at The Brasserie, 1312 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. Admission is $10. 273-5366. WORKSOURCE SERVICES Worksource Mobile Access Points offers free job-seeker services at Webb Wesconnett Library, 6887 103rd St., every Tue. at 10:30 a.m. and every Fri. at 1:30 p.m.; and Regency Square Library, 9900 Regency Square Blvd. every Thur. at 10:30 a.m. 994-7924. worksourcefl.com

CLASSES & GROUPS

EATING DISORDER SUPPORT GROUP The group meets from 6:30-8 p.m. every Tue. in Room 240, Joe Adams Building, St. Luke’s Hospital, 4205 Belfort Road, Jacksonville. 540-1639. edrecoveryjax.com JAX JUGGLERS Future jugglers gather from 6-7 p.m. every second Tue. and every fourth Mon. at San Marco Library’s Balis Center, 1514 LaSalle St., Jacksonville. Admission is free. jaxjugglers.org CANCER SURVIVOR ADVOCATE TRAINING Bosom Buddies, a breast cancer support and education program, is seeking breast cancer survivors who have a desire to help women newly diagnosed with breast cancer. Advocates must be able to attend a two-hour training held 10 a.m.-noon on March 3 at Women’s Center of Jacksonville, 5644 Colcord Ave., Jacksonville. Applicants may make an appointment to fill out an application, followed by a brief interview, at the Women’s Center. 722-3000 ext. 224. HEBREW READING CLASS The five-week Hebrew Reading Crash Course is held at 7 p.m. every Tue. at Chabad @ the Beaches’ Center for Jewish Life, 521 A1A S., Ponte Vedra. 543-9301. chabadbeaches.com THE LEARNING COMMUNITY The Learning Community of North Florida offers Dinner with the Singing Chef Francesco Miliana from 6-8 p.m. on Feb. 25 at 626 S. Eighth St., Fernandina Beach. A Chinese cooking class is held at 1:30 p.m. on Feb. 26. Spanish 201 is held at 4 p.m. on Feb. 28. For additional info, call 430-0120. tlcnf.com NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Do you have a drug problem? Maybe they can help. 358-6262, 723-5683. serenitycoastna.org, firstcoastna.org To list an event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price and contact number to events@ folioweekly.com or click the link in our Happenings section at folioweekly.com.

DINING GUIDE KEY

Average Entrée Cost: $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer, Wine FB = Full Bar CM = Children’s Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast L = Lunch D = Dinner F = Folio Weekly distribution point Send changes to mdryden@folioweekly.com

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH, YULEE (In Fernandina Beach unless otherwise noted.)

THE BEECH STREET GRILL Fine dining is offered in a casual atmosphere. The menu includes fresh local seafood, steaks and pasta dishes created with a variety of ethnic influences. Award-winning wine list. FB. L, Wed.-Fri.; D, nightly; Sun. brunch. 801 Beech St. 277-3662. $$$ BEEF O’BRADY’S FAMILY SPORTS PUB F Signature wings, burgers and sandwiches. BW. TO. L & D, daily. 1916 S. 14th St. 261-0555. (For more locations, visit beefobradys.com) $$ BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ F At the foot of Centre Street, the upscale restaurant overlooks the Harbor Marina. The menu includes daily specials, fresh Florida seafood and an extensive wine list. FB. L & D, daily. 1 S. Front St. 261-2660. $$$ BRIGHT MORNINGS F The small café offers freshly baked goods. B & L daily. 105 S. Third St. 491-1771. $$ CAFÉ 4750 An Italian kitchen and wine bar. Chef de Cuisine Garrett Gooch offers roasted sea bass, frutti di mare soup, clam linguini, panatela bruschetta and fresh gelatos. Dine indoors or on the terrace. FB. B, L & D, daily. 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., The Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island. 277-1100. $$$ CAFÉ KARIBO F Eclectic cuisine, served under the oaks in historic Fernandina, features sandwiches and chef’s specials. Alfresco dining. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sat.; L, Sun. & Mon. 27 N. Third St. 277-5269. $$ CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY F European-style breads, pastries, croissants, muffins and pies baked daily. 1014 Atlantic Ave. 491-4663. $ EIGHT Contemporary sports lounge offers burgers, sandwiches, wings and nachos. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Fri. & Sat. The Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island, 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., Amelia Island. 277-1100. $$ ESPAÑA RESTAURANT & TAPAS Traditional Spanish and Portuguese dishes, tapas and paella are served in a cozy atmosphere. BW, CM. D nightly. 22 S. Fourth St. 261-7700. $$$ FERNANDELI F Classics with a Southern touch, like a one-third-pound devil dog, Reubens and pulled pork. Sandwiches and wraps built to order from fresh cold cuts, tuna, egg and turkey salads. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 17B S. Eighth St. 261-0008. $ GENERAL STORE F This new store has a little bit of everything. Breakfast includes hot rope sausage, lunch features the Redneck Reuben. Deli meats, cheeses, chicken, fish, pizzas and pasta, too. BW. B, L & D, daily. 520 Centre St. 310-6080. $ GENNARO’S RISTORANTE ITALIANO F Southern Italian cuisine: pasta, gourmet ravioli, hand-tossed pizzas. Specialties are margharita pizza and shrimp feast. Bread is baked on-site. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 5 S. Second St., 261-9400. 5472 First Coast Highway, Amelia Island, 491-1999. $$ HAPPY TOMATO COURTYARD CAFE & BBQ F Pulled pork sandwich, chicken salad and walnut chocolate chunk cookie, served in a laid-back atmosphere. BW. CM. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 7 S. Third St. 321-0707. $$ JACK & DIANE’S F Casual cafe offers steak & eggs, pancakes, Cajun scampi, etouffée, curry pizza, vegan black bean cakes, shrimp & grits, hand-carved steaks. FB. B, L & D, daily. 708 Centre St. 321-1444. $$ JOE’S 2ND STREET BISTRO Elegant island atmosphere. NY strip steak with sauces, Maine crab cakes, seafood fricassee and roast chicken penne pasta. BW. CM. D, nightly. 14 S. Second St. 321-2558. $$$ KABUKI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR F Teppanyaki masters create your meal; plus a 37-item sushi bar. BW. D, Tue.-Sun. Amelia Plaza. 277-8782. $$ KELLEY’S COURTYARD CAFE F She crab soup, salads, fried green tomatoes, sandwiches and wraps are served indoors or out on the patio. Vegetarian dishes are also offered. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 19 S. Third St. 432-8213. $ MONTEGO BAY COFFEE CAFE F Locally owned and operated, serving specialty coffees and fruit smoothies. Dine in or hit the drive-thru. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 463363 S.R. 200, Yulee. 225-3600. $ MOON RIVER PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Northernstyle pizza by the pie or the slice. Choose from more than 20 toppings. Owner-selected wines and a large beer selection. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 925 S. 14th St. 321-3400. $

THE MUSTARD SEED CAFE Organic eatery and juice bar. Extensive, eclectic menu featuring vegetarian and vegan items. Daily specials: local seafood, free-range chicken and fresh organic produce. Wraps, sandwiches, soups. CM. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 833 T.J. Courson Rd. 277-3141. $$ O’KANE’S IRISH PUB F Rustic, genuine Irish pub up front, eatery in back, featuring daily specials, fish-n-chips, and soups served in a sourdough bread bowl. FB. L & D, Mon.Sun. 318 Centre St. 261-1000. $$ PEPPER’S MEXICAN GRILL & CANTINA F The family restaurant offers authentic Mexican cuisine. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2128 Sadler Rd. 272-2011. $$ PLAE In Spa & Shops at Omni Amelia Island Plantation, the cozy venue offers an innovative and PLAEful dining experience. D, nightly. 277-2132. $$$ SALT, THE GRILL Best of Jax 2010 winner. Elegant dining featuring local seafood and produce, served in a contemporary coastal setting. FB. D, Tue.-Sat. 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., The Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island. 491-6746. $$$$ SANDOLLAR RESTAURANT & MARINA F Dine inside or on the deck. Snow crab legs, fresh fish, shellfish dishes. FB. L & D, daily. 9716 Heckscher Dr., Ft. George Island. 251-2449. $$ SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL F Oceanfront dining; local seafood, shrimp, crab cakes, outdoor beachfront tiki & raw bar, covered deck and kids’ playground. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1998 S. Fletcher Ave. 277-6652. $$ THE SURF F Dine inside or on large oceanview deck. Steaks, fresh fish, shrimp and nightly specials. Late-night menu. FB. L & D, daily. 3199 S. Fletcher Ave. 261-5711. $$ T-RAY’S BURGER STATION F A favorite local spot; Best of Jax 2010 winner. Grilled or blackened fish sandwiches, homemade burgers. BW, TO. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 202 S. Eighth St. 261-6310. $ 29 SOUTH EATS F Part of historic Fernandina Beach’s downtown scene. Award-winning Chef Scotty serves traditional world cuisine with a modern twist. L, Tue.-Sat.; D, Mon.-Sat.; Sun. brunch. 29 S. Third St. 277-7919. $$

ARLINGTON, REGENCY EAST COAST BUFFET F A 160+ item Chinese, Japanese, American and Italian buffet. Dine in, take out. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat.; Sun. brunch. 9569 Regency Sq. Blvd. N. 726-9888. $$ GENE’S SEAFOOD F Serving fresh Mayport shrimp, fish, oysters, scallops, gator tail, steaks and combos. L & D, daily. 6132 Merrill Rd. 744-2333. $$ LA NOPALERA Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Intracoastal. 8818 Atlantic Blvd. 720-0106. ORANGE TREE HOT DOGS F Orange Tree serves hot dogs with slaw, chili cheese or sauerkraut, as well as personal size pizzas. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9501 Arlington Expwy., Regency Square. 721-3595. (For locations, visit orangetreehotdogs.com) $ PITA EXPRESS Philly, chicken fajita, falafel, chicken Caesar salad and eggplant parmigiana pitas, plus omelets and pancakes. CM. B, L & D, daily. 2754 Trollie Lane. 674-2637. $ REGENCY ALE HOUSE & RAW BAR F Generous portions and friendly service in a nautical atmosphere. Fresh fish, specialty pastas, fresh oysters and clams. BW. L & D, daily. 9541 Regency Square Blvd. S. 720-0551. $$ TREY’S DELI & GRILL F Fresh food served in a relaxed atmosphere. Burgers, Trey’s Reuben, deli sandwiches, pork, steaks, seafood, pies. Prime rib specials every Fri. night. CM, BW. L & D, Mon.-Fri. 2044 Rogero Rd. 744-3690. $$

AVONDALE, ORTEGA BEETHOVEN’S BAGEL BISTRO All-day breakfast menu with French toast and bagels. Lunch is deli fare, wraps, Reubens, paninis; dinner offers paella, chicken & dumplings. CM, BYOB. B, L & D, Wed.-Sat.; B & L, Sun. & Sat. 5917 Roosevelt Blvd. 771-6606. $$ BISCOTTIS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Mozzarella bruschetta, Avondale pizza, sandwiches, espresso, cappuccino. Revolving daily specials. B, Tue.-Sun.; L & D, daily. 3556 St. Johns Ave. 387-2060. $$$ THE BLUE FISH RESTAURANT & OYSTER BAR Fresh seafood, steaks and more are served in a casual atmosphere. Half-portions are available. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 3551 St. Johns Ave., Shoppes of Avondale. 387-0700. $$$ BRICK RESTAURANT F Creative all-American fare like tuna tartare, seaweed salad and Kobe burger. Outside dining. FB. L & D, daily. 3585 St. Johns Ave. 387-0606. $$$ THE CASBAH F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Middle Eastern cuisine is served in a friendly atmosphere. BW. L & D, daily. 3628 St. Johns Ave. 981-9966. $$ ESPETO BRAZILIAN STEAK HOUSE F Gauchos carve the meat onto your plate from serving tables. FB. D, Tue.-Sun.,

FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 33

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Southern favorites like fried chicken, homemade cornbread, vegetables and biscuits are on the menu at Copper Top Southern American Cuisine, in the old Homestead location on Beach Boulevard in Jacksonville Beach.

closed Mon. 4000 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 40. 388-4884. $$$ THE FOX RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The Fox has been a Jacksonville landmark for 50-plus years. Ian and Mary Chase serve classic diner-style fare, featuring homemade desserts. B & L daily. 3580 St. Johns Ave. 387-2669. $ ORSAY Best of Jax 2010 winner. The French/American bistro focuses on craftsmanship and service. FB. D, Tues.Sat. 3630 Park St. 381-0909. $$$ RUAN THAI The elegant Avondale restaurant offers authentic Thai cuisine, including curries and pad dishes. CM, FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 3951 St. Johns Ave. 384-6665. $$$ TOM & BETTY’S F A Jacksonville tradition for more than 30 years, Tom & Betty’s serves hefty sandwiches with classic car themes, along with homemade-style dishes. CM, FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4409 Roosevelt Blvd. 387-3311. $$ ’town Owner Meghan Purcell and Executive Chef Scott Ostrander bring the farm-to-table concept to Northeast Florida with their new Avondale restaurant, offering American fare with an emphasis on sustainability. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 3611 St. Johns Ave. 345-2596. $$

FolioWeekly

BAYMEADOWS AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 8060 Philips Hwy. 731-4300. $ BROADWAY RISTORANTE & PIZZERIA F Family-ownedand-operated New York-style pizzeria serves hand-tossed, brick-oven-baked pizza, and traditional Italian dinners, wings, subs. Dine-in or delivered. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 10920 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 3. 519-8000. $$ BOWL OF PHO This restaurant offers traditional Vietnamese noodle soup and authentic favorites like spring rolls, shrimp wraps and egg rolls. Big portions and a laid-back atmosphere. 9902 Old Baymeadows Rd. 646-4455. $$ CHA-CHA’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT Owner Celso Alvarado offers authentic Mexican fare with 26 combo dinners and specialty dishes including chalupas, enchiladas and burritos. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9551 Baymeadows Rd. 737-9903. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F Chicago-style deep-dish pizzas, hot dogs, Italian beef dishes from the Comastro family, serving authentic Windy City favorites for 25+ years. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 8206 Philips Hwy. 731-9797. $$$ DEERWOOD DELI & DINER F The ’50s-style diner serves malts, shakes, Reubens, Cubans, burgers, and traditional breakfast items. CM. B & L, daily. 9934 Old Baymeadows Rd. 641-4877. $$ THE FIFTH ELEMENT F The first four elements are earth, water, air and fire — but here they prepare authentic Indian, South Indian and Indochinese dishes with artistic flair. Lunch buffet includes lamb, goat, chicken, tandoori and biryani items. CM. L & D, daily. 9485 Baymeadows Rd. 448-8265. $$ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F See Orange Park. 8650 Baymeadows Rd. 448-0500. $$ INDIA RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Extensive

34 | FOLIO WEEKLY | FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011

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menu of entrées, clay-oven grilled Tandoori specialties and chicken tandoor, fish, seafood and korma. L, Mon.-Sat., D, daily. 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8. 620-0777. $$ LARRY’S GIANT SUBS F With locations all over Northeast Florida, Larry’s piles subs up with fresh fixins and serves ’em fast. Some Larry’s Subs offer B & W and/or serve breakfast. CM. L & D, daily. 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9 (Goodby’s Creek), 737-7740; 8616 Baymeadows Rd. 7392498. larryssubs.com $ LEMONGRASS F Upscale Thai cuisine in a metropolitan atmosphere. Chef Aphayasane’s innovative creations include roast duckling and fried snapper. BW. R. L, Mon.Fri.; D, Mon.-Sat. 9846 Old Baymeadows Rd. 645-9911. $$ MANDALOUN MEDITERRANEAN CUISINE F This Lebanese restaurant offers authentic Mediterranean cuisine: lahm meshwe, kafta khoshkhas and baked filet of red snapper. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9862 Old Baymeadows Rd. 646-1881. $$ MAYURI INDIAN CUISINE F Traditional Indian items include tandoori specials, South Indian, Indo-Chinese, vegetarian, biryani and thali style dishes. BW. L & D. 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 10. 448-5999. $$ NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The organic supermarket offers a full deli and a hot bar with fresh soups, quesadillas, rotisserie chicken and vegan sushi, as well as a fresh juice and smoothie bar. 11030 Baymeadows Rd. 260-2791. $ OMAHA STEAKHOUSE Center-cut beef, fresh seafood and sandwiches served in an English tavern atmosphere. The signature dish is a 16-ounce bone-in ribeye. Desserts include crème brûlée. FB. L & D, daily. 9300 Baymeadows Rd., Embassy Suites Hotel. 739-6633. $$ PATTAYA THAI GRILLE F Serving traditional Thai and vegetarian items and a 40-plus item vegetarian menu in a contemporary atmosphere. B/W. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1. 646-9506. $$ PIZZA PALACE F See San Marco. 3928 Baymeadows Rd. 527-8649. $$ STICKY FINGERS F See Beaches. 8129 Point Meadows Way. 493-7427. $$

BEACHES

(In Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.) A LA CARTE Authentic New England fare like Maine lobster rolls, Ipswich clams, crab cake sandwich, fried shrimp basket, clam chowder. Outside deck. TO. L, Mon., Tue., Sat. & Sun. 331 First Ave. N. 241-2005. $$ AL’S PIZZA F Serving hand-tossed gourmet pizzas, calzones and Italian entrees for more than 21 years. Voted Best Pizza by Folio Weekly readers from 1996-2010. BW. L & D, daily. 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 249-0002. $ ANGIE’S SUBS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Subs are made-to-order fresh. Serious casual. Wicked good iced tea. 1436 Beach Blvd. 246-2519. $ ATOMIC FLYING FISH SEAFOOD TACO GRILL F Beachcasual with Cali-style fish, steak, blackened gator tacos

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Ragtime Tavern is an Atlantic Beach landmark, home to Creole and Cajun-flavored fare and hand-crafted brews made on-site, available in a number of styles.

and sides. L & D, daily. 309 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 372-0882. $$ BEACH BUDS CHICKEN F This cozy, family-owned place serves marinated fried or baked chicken: family meals (kids like Peruvian nuggets), giant tenders, in box lunches and as Mini-Me sandwiches, along with gizzards, livers, 15 sides and fried or blackened shrimp, fish, conch fritters, deviled crabs. TO. L & D, daily. 1289 Penman Road. 247-2828. $ BEACHSIDE SEAFOOD RESTAURANT & MARKET F The full fresh seafood market serves seafood baskets, fish tacos, oyster baskets and Philly cheesesteaks. Dine indoors or outside. Beach delivery. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 120 S. Third St. 444-8862. $$ BONGIORNO’S PHILLY STEAK SHOP F South Philly’s Bongiorno family imports Amoroso rolls for Real Deal cheese-steak, Original Gobbler, clubs, wraps, burgers and dogs. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2294 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach. 246-3278. $$ BONO’S PIT BAR-B-Q F Baby back ribs, fried corn, sweet potatoes. BW. L & D, daily. 1307 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 270-2666. 1266 S. Third St. 249-8704. bonosbarbq.com $ THE BRASSERIE & BAR This new French/European-style bistro and bar offers coq au vin, French onion soup, fritto misto, Moroccan-style lamb shank. FB. D, Tue.-Sun. 1312 Beach Blvd. 249-5800. $$$ BUDDHA’S BELLY Authentic Thai dishes made with fresh ingredients using tried-and-true recipes. FB, TO. L & D, daily. 301 10th Ave. N. 712-4444. $$ BURRITO CANTINA This hole-in-the-wall serves big burritos and big beers. TO. L & D, daily. 22 Seminole Rd., Atlantic Beach. 246-2000. $ CAMPECHE BAY CANTINA F Homemade-style Mexican items are fajitas, enchiladas and fried ice cream, plus margaritas. FB. D, nightly. 127 First Ave. N. 249-3322. $$ CARIBBEE KEY F Best of Jax 2010 winner. AmerCaribbean cuisine includes seafood, steaks and sandwiches. Open-air deck bar upstairs; outdoor dining downstairs. FB. L & D, daily. 100 N. First St., Neptune Beach. 270-8940. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. 320 N. First St. 270-8565. $$ COPPER TOP SOUTHERN AMERICAN CUISINE F The menu features favorites from The Homestead, like fried chicken, homemade-style biscuits and cornbread, served in a family atmosphere inside a cozy log cabin. CM, FB. Sun. brunch; D, daily. 1712 Beach Blvd. 249-4776. $$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2010 winner, serving burgers, sandwiches, nachos, tacos, quesadillas and cheese fries. 319 23rd Ave. S. 270-0356. $ CULHANE’S IRISH PUB F Four Culhane sisters own and operate the authentic Irish pub, featuring Guy Fieri’s (“Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives”) fave items — Guinness stew, lamb sliders and fish pie. L, Fri.-Sun.; D, Tue.-Sun.; weekend brunch. FB, CM. 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 249-9595. $$ DWIGHT’S The Mediterranean-style bistro features fresh

local seafood, filet mignon, mixed grill and an extensive wine list. D, Tue.-Sat. 1527 Penman Rd. 241-4496. $$$$ ENGINE 15 BREWING COMPANY F This new Jax Beach restaurant serves gastropub fare like soups, salads, flatbreads and specialty sandwiches, including BarBeCuban and beer dip. Daily specials, too. CM, BW. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217. 249-2337. $ EUROPEAN STREET See San Marco. 992 Beach Blvd. 249-3001. $ FIONN MACCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT Casual dining with uptown Irish flair, including fish and chips, Guinness beef stew and black-and-tan brownies. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 333 N. First St. 242-9499. $$ THE FISH COMPANY F Fresh, local seafood is served, including Mayport shrimp, fish baskets, grilled tuna and an oyster bar. L & D, daily. CM, FB. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 12, Atlantic Beach. 246-0123. $$ HALA SANDWICH SHOP & BAKERY Authentic Middle Eastern favorites include gyros, shwarma, pita bread, made fresh daily. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 1451 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 249-2212. $$ HOT DOG HUT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. All-beef hot dogs, sausages, hamburgers, crab cakes, beer-battered onion rings and French fries. B. L, daily. 1439 Third St. S. 247-8886. $ ICHIBAN F Three dining areas: teppan or hibachi tables (watch a chef prepare your food), a sushi bar and Westernstyle seating offering tempura and teriyaki. FB, Japanese plum wine. L & D, daily. 675 N. Third St. 247-4688. $$ LYNCH’S IRISH PUB F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The full-service restaurant offers corned beef and cabbage, Shepherd’s pie and fish-n-chips. 30+ beers on tap. FB. L, Sat. & Sun., D, daily. 514 N. First St. 249-5181. $$ MEZZA LUNA RISTORANTE F A Beaches tradition for 20+ years. Favorites are Szechuan ahi tuna, lasagna Bolognese and wood-fired pizza. Inside or patio. Extensive wine list. CM, FB. D, Mon.-Sat. 110 First St., Neptune Beach. 249-5573. $$$ MIMI’S SPORTS GRILLE East meets West: Every dish is infused with Asian style and ingredients, including lumpia, yaki tori and several kinds of sushi. FB. L & D daily. 1021 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 270-1030. $$ MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT & BLUES BAR F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Traditional slow-cooked Southern barbecue served in a blues bar atmosphere. Favorites are pulled pork, Texas brisket and slow-cooked ribs. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1500 Beach Blvd. 247-6636. $$ MONKEY’S UNCLE TAVERN F For 25 years, Monkey’s has served pub grub, burgers, sandwiches, seafood and wings. Dine inside or out on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. 1850 S. Third St. 246-1070. $ NORTH BEACH BISTRO F Casual dining with an elegant touch, like slow-cooked veal osso buco with truffled mushroom risotto; calypso crusted mahi mahi with spiced plantain chips. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach. 372-4105. $$$

FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 35

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OCEAN 60 Best of Jax 2010 winner. A prix fixe menu is offered. Continental cuisine, with fresh seafood, nightly specials and a changing seasonal menu. Dine in a formal dining room or casual Martini Room. D, Mon.-Sat. 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 247-0060. $$$ PACO’S MEXICAN GRILL Serving Baja-style Mexican cuisine, featuring carne asada, tacos, burritos, fish tacos and shrimp burritos. CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 333 First St. N. 208-5097. $ PARSONS SEAFOOD RESTAURANT F The family-style restaurant has an outdoor patio and an extensive menu, including the mariner’s platter and the Original Dreamboat. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 904 Sixth Ave. S. 249-0608. $$ PHILLY’S FINEST Authentic Philly-style cheesesteaks are made with imported Amorosa rolls. Hoagies, wings and pizza ... cold beer, too. FB. L & D, daily. 1527 N. Third St. 241-7188. $$ RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD GRILL F The Beaches landmark serves grilled seafood with a Cajun/Creole accent. Hand-crafted cold beer. FB. L & D, daily. 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 241-7877. $$ SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK F Salt Life offers a wide array of specialty menu items, including the signature tuna poke bowl, fresh rolled sushi, Ensenada tacos and local fried shrimp, served in a casual, trendy open-air space. FB, TO, CM. L & D, daily. 1018 Third St. N. 372-4456. $$ SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE F Best of Jax 2010 winner. 111 Beach Blvd. 482-1000. $$ STICKY FINGERS F Memphis-style rib house specializes in barbecue ribs served several ways. FB. L & D, daily. 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 241-RIBS. $$ SUN DOG STEAK & SEAFOOD F Eclectic American fare, art deco décor with an authentic diner feel. FB. L & D, daily; Sun. brunch. 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 241-8221. $$ TACOLU BAJA MEXICANA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Fresh, Baja-style Mexican fare, with a focus on fish tacos and tequila, as well as fried che ese, bangin’ shrimp and verde chicken tacos. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 1183 Beach Blvd. 249-TACO (8226). $$ Sales Rep rm THAI ROOM RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Dine in an intimate setting as Chef Thepsouvanh prepares Thai cuisine like crispy duck or pan-seared Chilean sea bass. BW. L, Mon.-Fri. D, Mon.-Sat. 1286 S. Third St. 249-8444. $$$ THE WINE BAR The casual neighborhood place has a tapas-style menu, fire-baked flatbreads and a wine selection. Tue.-Sun. 320 N. First St. 372-0211. $$

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DOWNTOWN

(The Jacksonville Landing venues are at 2 Independent Drive)

ADAMS STREET DELI & GRILL F The lunch spot serves wraps, including grilled chicken, and salads, including Greek salad. L, Mon.-Fri. 126 W. Adams St. 475-1400. $$ BURRITO GALLERY & BAR F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Southwest cuisine, traditional American salads. Burritos and more burritos. Onsite art gallery. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 21 E. Adams St. 598-2922. $ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. The Jacksonville Landing. 354-7747. $$$ CITY HALL PUB On the Trolley route. A sports bar vibe: 16 big-screen HDTVs. Angus burgers, dogs, sandwiches & sides, AYCE wings buffet, soup-n-salad. FB. Free downtown area lunch delivery. L & D, daily. 234 Randolph Blvd. 356-6750. $$ DE REAL TING CAFE F The popular restaurant offers a Caribbean lunch buffet Tue.-Fri. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 128 W. Adams St. 633-9738. $ INDOCHINE Serving Thai and Southeast Asian cuisine in the core of downtown. Signature dishes include favorites like chicken Satay, soft shell crab, and mango and sticky rice for dessert. BW, FB, TO. L, Mon.-Fri., D, Tue.-Sat. 21 E. Adams St. 598-5303. $$ JENKINS QUALITY BARBECUE Family-owned-andoperated. Jenkins offers beef, pork, chicken, homemade desserts. L & D, daily. 830 N. Pearl St. 353-6388. $ JULIETTE’S & J-BAR Serving dinner before (or dessert after) a show. Breakfast buffet. J-Bar serves bistro-inspired small plates. FB. Daily. Omni Hotel, 245 W. Water St. 355-6664. $$$ KOJA SUSHI F Sushi, Japanese, Asian and Korean cuisine. Indoor and outdoor dining and bar. FB. L & D, daily. The Jacksonville Landing. 350-9911. $$ THE SKYLINE DINING & CONFERENCE CENTER Weekday lunch includes salad bar, hot meals and a carving station. L, Mon.-Fri.; L, Sun. upon request. FB. 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 3550. 791-9797. $$ ZODIAC GRILL F Serving Mediterranean cuisine and American favorites, with a popular lunch buffet. BW. B & L, daily. 120 W. Adams St. 354-8283. $

FLEMING ISLAND 36 | FOLIO WEEKLY | FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011

CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. 406 Old Hard Road, Ste. 106. 213-7779. $$$

GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET F See Riverside. B, L & D, Mon.-Sat.; L, Sun. 1915 East West Pkwy., 541-0009. $ HONEY B’S CAFE Breakfast includes omelets, pancakes, French toast. Lunch offers entrée salads, quiches and build-your-own burgers. Peanut butter pie is a customer favorite. Tea parties are held every Sat. B & L, daily. 3535 U.S. 17, Ste. 8. 264-7325. $$ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Intracoastal. 1571 C.R. 220, Ste. 100. 215-2223. $ MERCURY MOON F Appetizers, sandwiches, desserts. Daily specials. TO, FB. L & D, daily. 2015 C.R. 220. 215-8999. $$ MOJO SMOKEHOUSE F Best of Jax 2010 winner. FB. L & D, daily. 1810 Town Ctr. Blvd. 264-0636. $$ ROCKIN RODZ BAR & GRILLE This place offers fresh fare, like Stratocaster shrimp, Hot Rod gumbo and handmade gourmet Angus burgers, served in a rockin’, upscale casual atmosphere. Dine indoors or out. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 2574 C.R. 220, Stes. 4-7. 276-2000. $$ WHITEY’S FISH CAMP F This renowned seafood place, family-owned since 1963, specializes in AYCE freshwater catfish. Also steaks, pastas. Outdoor waterfront dining. Come by car, boat or bike. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 2032 C.R. 220. 269-4198. $

INTRACOASTAL AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 14286 Beach Blvd. (at San Pablo Rd.) 223-0991. $ BRUCCI’S PIZZA, PASTA, PANINIS F Brucci’s offers authentic New York-style pizza, Italian pastas and desserts in a family atmosphere. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 36. 223-6913. $ CLIFF’S ROCKIN’ BAR-N-GRILL F Cliff’s features 8-ounce burgers, wings, steak, seafood, homemade pizza and daily specials. FB. L & D, daily. Smoking permitted. 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, Cobblestone Plaza. 645-5162. $$ ISTANBUL MEDITERRANEAN & ITALIAN CUISINE The varied menu offers European cuisine including lamb, beef and chicken dishes, as well as pizza and wraps. BW. L & D, daily. 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 26. 220-9192. $$ JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE & STEAKHOUSE F The menu includes wings, hamburgers, Ahi tuna and handcut steaks. CM, FB. Daily. 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 22. 220-6766. $ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The familyowned-and-operated restaurant serves authentic Mexican cuisine, like tamales, fajitas and pork tacos, in a casual family atmosphere. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 14333 Beach Blvd. 992-1666. $ MILANO’S RESTAURANT & PIZZERIA Homemade Italian cuisine, including breads, pizzas, calzones and specialty dishes. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 12620 Beach Blvd., Ste. 4. 646-9119. $$ TIME OUT SPORTS GRILL F Wings, gourmet pizza, fresh seafood and specialty wraps. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Sat. & Sun. 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5. 223-6999. $$ TKO’S THAI HUT F The menu offers Thai fusion, curry dishes, chef’s specials, steaks and healthy options. Sushi, too. Hookahs are also available. Dine inside or on the covered patio. FB. L & D, daily. 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 46. 647-7546. $$ ZAITOON MEDITERRANEAN GRILL Traditional Mediterranean family recipes are blended to create Spanish, French, Italian and Middle Eastern inspired dishes. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 13475 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 40, Harbour Village. 221-7066. $$

JULINGTON, NW ST. JOHNS BLACKSTONE GRILLE The menu blends flavors from a variety of cultures and influences for modern American fusion cuisine, served in a bistro-style setting. FB. L & D, Mon.-Fri., D, Sat.; Sun. brunch. 112 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 102. 287-0766. $$$ BRUCCI’S PIZZA F See Intracoastal. 540 S.R. 13, Ste. 10, Fruit Cove. 287-8317. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA BAKERY & PUB F Transforms from family restaurant to pub serving Chicago-style deep dish pizza. CM, FB. D, Tue.-Fri., L & D, Sat. & Sun. 107 Nature Walk Pkwy., Ste. 101, 230-9700. $$ HAPPY OURS SPORTS GRILLE F Features wings, big salads, burgers, wraps and sandwiches. Sports events on HDTVs. CM, FB. 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101. 683-1964. $ PIZZA PALACE F See San Marco. 116 Bartram Oaks Walk. 230-2171. $ RUSSO’S ITALIAN RESTAURANT F Traditional Italian cuisine includes veal, eggplant, seafood, steak. CM. D, Tue.-Sun. 2750 Race Track Rd., Ste. 106, Plantation Plaza. 287-4111. $$

FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 37

Folio

ADVERTISING PROOF

This is a copyright protected proof ©MANDARIN AL’S PIZZA Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches.

11190 San Jose Blvd. 260-4115. $ ons, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: 022211 AW SHUCKS F This seafood place features an oyster PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 bar, steaks, seafood, chicken wings and pasta. Favorites

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include ahi tuna, shrimp & grits, oysters Rockefeller, pitas and kabobs.Rep Sweeterin potato puffs are the signature side Sales item. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9743 Old St. Augustine Rd. 240-0368. $$ THE BLUE CRAB CRABHOUSE F Maryland-style crabhouse featuring fresh blue crabs, garlic crabs, King, Snow and Dungeness crab legs. FB, CM. D, Tue.-Sat.; L & D, Sun. 3057 Julington Creek Rd. 260-2722. $$ BROOKLYN PIZZA F The traditional pizzeria serves New York-style pizza, specialty pies, and subs, strombolis and calzones. BW. L & D, daily. 11406 San Jose Blvd. 288-9211. 13820 St. Augustine Rd. 880-0020. $ CASA MARIA F See Springfield. L & D, daily. 14965 Old St. Augustine Rd. 619-8186. $$ CLARK’S FISH CAMP F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Clark’s has steak, ribs, AYCE catfish dinners, 3-pound prime rib. Dine in, out or in a creek-view glass-enclosed room. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Sat. & Sun. 12903 Hood Landing Rd. 268-3474. $$ DON JUAN’S RESTAURANT F Authentic Mexican dishes prepared daily from scratch, served in a casual atmosphere. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 12373 San Jose Blvd. 268-8722. $$ GIGI’S RESTAURANT Breakfast buffet served daily, lunch buffet weekdays. The Comedy Zone (Best of Jax 2010 winner) has an appetizer menu. FB. B, L & D, daily. I-295 & San Jose Blvd. (Ramada Inn). 268-8080. $$ (Fri. & Sat. buffet, $$$) HALA CAFE & BAKERY F See Southside. 9735 Old St. Augustine Rd. 288-8890. $$ KOBE JAPANESE RESTAURANT The fusion-style sushi restaurant offers oyster shooters, kobe beef shabushabu, Chilean sea bass and filet mignon. BW & sake. L & D, daily. 11362 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 8. 288-7999. $$ LET’S NOSH F The authentic Jewish deli offers a full breakfast, lunch, brunch and full-service deli counter. Real New York water bagels, bread baked on site and desserts. CM. B & L, daily. 9850 San Jose Blvd. 683-8346. $ MAMA FU’S ASIAN HOUSE MSG-free pan-Asian cuisine prepared to order in woks using fresh ingredients. Authentic Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese and Thai dishes. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 11105 San Jose Blvd. 260-1727. $$ MANDARIN ALE HOUSE A laid-back atmosphere with 30-plus beers on tap. FB. L & D, daily. 11112 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 19. 292-0003. $$ NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Organic supermarket with full deli and salad bar serving wraps, quesadillas, chopped salads, vegetarian dishes. Fresh juice and smoothie bar. Indoor and outdoor seating. Mon.-Sat. 10000 San Jose Blvd. 260-6950. $ WHOLE FOODS MARKET F 100+ prepared items at a full-service and self-service hot bar, soup bar, dessert bar. Made-to-order Italian specialties from a brick oven pizza hearth. L & D, daily. 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 22. 288-1100. $$

FolioWeekly

ORANGE PARK GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F For 18-plus years, the sportsthemed family restaurant has served wings, ribs, entrees, sandwiches. FB. L & D, daily. 9680 Argyle Forest Blvd. 425-6466. $$ THE HILLTOP CLUB She-crab soup, scallops, prime beef, wagyu beef, chicken Florentine and stuffed grouper are featured. Chef Nick’s salmon is a customer favorite. FB. D, Tue.-Sat. 2030 Wells Rd. 272-5959. $$ JOEY MOZARELLAS This Italian restaurant’s specialty is the 24-slice pizza: 18”x26” of fresh ingredients and sauces made daily. CM, TO. L & D, daily. 930 Blanding Blvd. 579-4748. $$ POMPEII COAL-FIRED PIZZA F Pizzas are baked in coal-fired ovens. Popular pizzas include Health Choice and Mozzarella. Coal-fired sandwiches and wings, too. BW. L & D, daily. 2134 Park Ave. 264-6116. $$ THE ROADHOUSE F Burgers, wings, deli sandwiches, popular lunches. FB. L & D, daily. 231 Blanding Blvd. 264-0611. $ THAI GARDEN F Traditional Thai cuisine made with fresh ingredients, served in a relaxed atmosphere. Curry dishes and specialty selections with authentic Thai flavors. BW. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, nightly. 10 Blanding Blvd., Ste. A. 272-8434. $$

38 | FOLIO WEEKLY | FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011

PONTE VEDRA, NE ST. JOHNS AL’S PIZZA F Homemade breads, pizza, white pizza, calzones and Italian entrees. Voted Best Pizza in Jax by Folio Weekly readers from 1996-2010. BW. L & D, daily. 635 A1A. 543-1494. $ AQUA GRILL Upscale cuisine offers fresh seafood, Angus steaks, Maine lobster and vegetarian dishes. Outdoor patio seating. FB. L, Mon.-Sat.; D, nightly. 950 Sawgrass Village Dr. 285-3017. $$$ BRUCCI’S PIZZA F Authentic New York-style pizza, Italian pastas, paninis, desserts. Family atmosphere. CM. L & D, daily. 880 A1A, Ste. 8. 280-7677. $$ CAFFE ANDIAMO Traditional Italian cuisine features fresh seafood, veal, homemade pastas and wood-fired pizza prepared in a copper clad oven. An extensive wine list is offered in a cosmopolitan atmosphere. Dine indoors or Out on the terrace. L & D, daily. 500 Sawgrass Village. 280-2299. $$$ KARMA This homey place offers favorites from here and abroad, including burgers, wings, pastas, salads and apps, prepared with fresh, local ingredients. Outdoor dining is available. Brunch menu on Sat. & Sun. CM, FB. L, Sat. & Sun.; D, daily. 822 A1A N., Ste. 105. 834-3942. $$ LULU’S WATERFRONT GRILLE F On the Intracoastal Waterway, LuLu’s can be reached by car or by boat. Seafood, steaks and pasta dishes with a sophisticated flair. FB. L & D, daily; Sun. brunch. 301 N. Roscoe Blvd. 285-0139. $$ NINETEEN AT TPC SAWGRASS In Sawgrass’ Tournament Players Club, Nineteen features more than 230 wines and freshly prepared American and Continental cuisine, including local seafood, served inside or al fresco on the verandah. L & D, daily. 110 Championship Way. 273-3235. $$$ PUSSER’S BAR & GRILLE F Freshly prepared Caribbean cuisine, including red snapper Ponte Vedra Jamaican grilled pork ribs and barbecued salmon tower. Tropical rum drinks feature Pusser’s Painkiller. FB. L & D, daily. 816 A1A N., Ste. 100. 280-7766. L, $$; D, $$ RESTAURANT MEDURE Chef Matthew Medure offers his eclectic cuisine featuring local and imported seafood with Southern and Asian influences. F/B. D, Mon.-Sat. 818 A1A N. 543-3797. $$$ RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE Best of Jax 2010 winner. See San Marco. 8141 A1A. 285-0014. $$$$ SIMPLE FAIRE F Simple Faire offers breakfast and lunch favorites, featuring Boar’s Head meats and cheeses served on fresh bread. Daily specials. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 3020 Hartley Rd., Ste. 110. 683-2542. $$ 619 OCEAN VIEW Dining with a Mediterranean touch, featuring fresh seafood, steaks and nightly specials. FB, CM. D, Wed.-Sun. 619 Ponte Vedra Blvd., Cabana Beach Club. 285-6198. $$$ URBAN FLATS Ancient world-style flatbread is paired with fresh regional and seasonal ingredients in wraps, flatwiches and entrées, served in a casual, urban atmosphere. An international wine list is offered. FB. L & D, daily. 330 A1A N. 280-5515. $$

RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE AJ’S ON PARK STREET AJ’s is a casual barbecue spot serving smoked St. Louis-style ribs, pulled pork, smoked brisket, seafood and dishes made with a Latin touch. L & D, Mon.-Fri. 630 Park St. 598-0188. $$ AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 1620 Margaret St. 388-8384. $ BAKERY MODERNE F The neighborhood bakery offers classic pastries, artisanal breads, seasonal favorites, all made from scratch, including the popular petit fours and custom cakes. B & L, daily. 869 Stockton St., Ste. 6, Riverside. 389-7117. $ COOL MOOSE F Classic sandwiches, eclectic wraps and desserts. An extensive gourmet coffee menu with Green Mountain coffees and frozen coffee drinks. B & L, daily. Brunch, Sun. 2708 Park St. 381-4242. $ CROSS CREEK F See Springfield. 850 S. Lane Ave. 783-9579. $$ EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ F See San Marco. 2753 Park St. 384-9999. $ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F See Orange Park. 6677 103rd St., Westside, 777-6135. $$ GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET F A deli, organic and natural grocery, and juice & smoothie bar offers teas, coffees, gourmet cheeses; natural, organic and raw items. Grab-and-go sandwiches, salads and sides. Craft beers, organic wines. B, L & D, Mon.-Sat.; L, Sun. 2007 Park St. 384-4474. $

HJ’S BAR & GRILL F This grill serves traditional American fare: burgers, sandwiches, wraps and platters of ribs, shrimp and fish. CM, FB. L & D, Sat. & Sun., D, Mon.Fri. 8540 Argyle Forest Blvd., Ste. 1. 317-2783. $$ HOVAN MEDITERRANEAN GOURMET F Dine inside or on the patio. Mediterranean entrées include lamb, and beef gyros. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 2005-1 Park St. 381-9394. $ JACKSONS GRILL Locally owned spot has an original menu of fried pickle chips, Rockin’ Ranch burgers, gumbo, sandwiches. BW, TO. B, L & D, daily. 1522 King St. 384-8984. $$ JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILL F A Riverside tradition, serving 60+ fresh deli and grill items, including hot sandwiches. L, Mon.-Fri. 474 Riverside Ave. 356-8055. $ MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BBQ Smoked meats include wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey and ribs. Homemadestyle sides include green beans, baked beans, red cole slaw, collards. BW, CM. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551. $$ MOON RIVER PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Amelia Island. 1176 Edgewood Ave. S. 389-4442. $ MOSSFIRE GRILL F Southwestern menu with ahi tuna tacos, goat cheese enchiladas and gouda quesadillas. Dine inside or on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. 1537 Margaret St. 355-4434. $$ O’BROTHERS IRISH PUB F Innovative Irish fare and traditional faves are offered, like lambburger with Stilton crust, Guinness mac & cheese, Shepherd’s pie and fishn-chips — plus 18 beers on tap. L, daily except Mon.; D, daily. CM, FB. 1521 Margaret St. 854-9300. $$ PERARD’S PIZZA & ITALIAN CUISINE F Traditional Italian fare is prepared with fresh sauces and dough made from scratch daily, along with a large selection of gourmet pizza toppings. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 11043 Crystal Springs Rd., Ste. 2. 378-8131. $ PERFECT RACK BILLIARDS F Upscale billiards hall has burgers, steak, deli sandwiches, wings. Family-friendly, non-smoking. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 1186 Edgewood Ave. S., Murray Hill. 738-7645. $ PIZZA PALACE ON THE PARK F See San Marco. Outdoor seating. 920 Margaret St., 5 Points. 598-1212. $$ SAKE HOUSE F Japanese grill and sushi bar features sushi, sashimi, katsu, tempura, hibachi and specialty rolls. CM, BW, sake. L & D, daily. 824 Lomax St. 301-1188. $$ SUMO SUSHI Authentic Japanese fare, traditional to entrees and sushi rolls, spicy sashimi salad, gyoza (pork dumpling), tobiko (flying fish roe), Rainbow roll (tuna, salmon, yellowtail, Calif. roll). BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2726 Park St. 388-8838. $$ SUSHI CAFÉ F Authentic Japanese cuisine with a variety of sushi plus entrees like king salmon, katsu and teriyaki. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2025 Riverside Ave. 384-2888. $$ TWO DOORS DOWN F Former Tad’s owner offers traditional faves: hotcakes, omelets, burgers, pork chops, liver & onions, fried chicken, sides and desserts. CM, TO. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 436 Park St. 598-0032. $ WALKERS This nightspot has a tapas menu plus a wide variety of wines, served in a rustic, intimate atmosphere. BW. Tue.-Sat. 2692 Post St. 894-7465. $ WASABI JAPANESE BUFFET F AYCE buffet. Sushi bar, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, tempura, steak, seafood. BW. L & D, daily. 1014 Margaret St., Ste. 1, 5 Points. 301-1199. $$

A1A ALE WORKS F The city’s only brew pub taps

seven hand-crafted ales and lagers. A1A specializes in innovative New World cuisine. FB. L & D, daily. 1 King St. 829-2977. $$ AMICI ITALIAN RESTAURANT F A family-owned-andoperated Italian restaurant offers traditional pasta, veal, steak and seafood dishes. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1915B A1A S., St. Augustine Beach. 461-0102. $$ ANN O’MALLEY’S F Fresh handmade sandwiches, soups, salads and perfectly poured Guinness. Favorites include Reubens and chicken salad. CM, BW, Irish beers on tap. L & D, daily. 23 Orange St. 825-4040. $$ BEACH STREET PIZZA New York and Chicago style pizzas, calzones and homemade pasta dishes, all made from fresh ingredients., served in a beach-theme atmosphere. CM. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 4171 A1A S. 461-0910. $$ BORRILLO’S PIZZA & SUBS F Specialty pizzas are Borrillo’s Supreme (extra cheese, pepperoni, sausage), white and vegetarian pizzas. Subs and pasta dinners. L & D, daily. 88 San Marco Ave. 829-1133. $ CAFÉ ELEVEN F Eclectic cuisine like feta spinach egg croissant, apple turkey sandwich, pear-berry salad. Daily chef creations. BW. B, L & D, daily. 501 A1A Beach Blvd. 460-9311. B, $; L & D, $$ CARMELO’S PIZZERIA F Authentic New York style brick-oven-baked pizza, fresh baked sub rolls, Boars Head meats and cheeses, fresh salads, calzones, strombolis and sliced pizza specials. BW. L & D, daily. 146 King St. 494-6658. $$ THE FLORIDIAN The downtown restaurant serves innovative Southern fare, made with local farmers’ local food. Signature items: fried green tomato bruschetta, ’N’grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. L & D, Wed.-Mon. 39 Cordova St. 829-0655. $$ GYPSY CAB COMPANY F Best of Jax 2010 winner. International menu features large portions, reasonable prices. FB. L & D, daily. 828 Anastasia Blvd. 824-8244. $$ HARRY’S SEAFOOD BAR & GRILLE F In a historic, two-story house, the New Orleans-style eatery has fresh seafood, steaks, jambalaya, etouffée and shrimp. FB. L & D, daily. 46 Avenida Menendez. 824-7765. $$ HURRICANE PATTY’S F Casual waterfront seafood place features lunch specials, nightly dinners. Dine inside or on the deck. L & D, daily. 69 Lewis Blvd. 827-1822. $$ KINGS HEAD BRITISH PUB F Authentic Brit pub serves fish & chips, Cornish pastie and steak & kidney pie. Tap beers are Guinness, Newcastle and Bass. BW. L & D, Wed.-Sun. 6460 U.S. 1 (4 miles N. of St. Augustine Airport.) 823-9787. $$ THE MANATEE CAFÉ F Serving healthful cuisine using organically grown fruits, vegetables, grains and legumes. B & L, daily. 525 S.R. 16, Ste. 106, Westgate Plaza. 826-0210. $ MANGO MANGO’S BEACHSIDE BAR & GRILL Caribbean kitchen has comfort food with a tropical twist: coconut shrimp and fried plantains. BW, CM. Outdoor dining. 700 A1A Beach Blvd., (A Street access) St. Augustine Beach. 461-1077. $$ MILL TOP TAVERN F A St. Auggie institution in an 1884 building, serving Ultimate Nachos, soups, sandwiches, daily specials. Dine inside or on open-air decks. At the big mill wheel. FB. L & D, daily. 19 1/2 St. George St. 829-2329. $$ OASIS RESTAURANT & DECK F Just 1 block from the ocean, with a tropical atmosphere and open-air deck. Steamed oysters, crab legs, burgers. CM, FB. B, L & D,

GRILL ME

NAME: Tony Bazan

ST. AUGUSTINE

Dustin Hegedus

A WEEKLY Q&A WITH PEOPLE IN THE RESTAURANT BIZ

RESTAURANT: Pizza Palace 1959 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville BIRTHPLACE: Acapulco de Juárez, Guerrero, Mexico YEARS IN THE BUSINESS: 26 FAVORITE RESTAURANT (OTHER THAN MY OWN): La Nopalera FAVORITE INGREDIENTS: Jalapeños IDEAL MEAL: Grilled steak tacos WOULDN’T EAT IF YOU PAID ME: Anchovies MOST MEMORABLE RESTAURANT EXPERIENCE: The first Christmas party we had at Pizza Palace. INSIDER’S SECRET: If I told you, it wouldn’t be a secret anymore. CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS: Tim Tebow CULINARY GUILTY PLEASURE: Pork

FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 39

daily. 4000 A1A & Ocean Trace Rd., St. Augustine Beach. 471-3424. $ PURPLE OLIVE INTERNATIONAL BISTRO F Familyowned-and-operated, with a creative menu of wines, nightly specials, fresh artisan breads. Soups, salad dressings and desserts made from scratch. D, Tue.-Sat. 4255 A1A S., Ste. 6, St. Augustine Beach. 461-1250. $$ RAINTREE The restaurant, located in a Victorian home, offers a menu with contemporary and traditional international influences. Extensive wine list. FB. D, daily. 102 San Marco Ave. 824-7211. $$$ SCARLETT O’HARA’S Best of Jax 2010 winner. Serving Southern fare, barbecue and seafood. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 70 Hypolita St. 824-6535. $$ SHENANIGANS SIDELINES SPORTS GRILL The sports grill serves 80+ craft, imported & domestic beers, and homemade-style sandwiches. L & D, daily. 4010 U.S. 1 S. 217-3051. $$ SUNSET GRILLE Casual Key West style and a seafoodheavy menu — it’s a consistent Great Chowder Debate winner. Specialties include baby back ribs, lobster ravioli, coconut shrimp and datil pepper wings with bleu cheese dressing. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 421 A1A Beach Blvd. 471-5555. $$$ ZHANRAS F Art-themed tapas-style place has small plate items in a casual, contemporary space. Entrée portions available. CM, FB. D, daily; Sun. brunch. 108 Anastasia Blvd. 823-3367. $$

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER, TINSELTOWN BLACKFINN AMERICAN GRILLE With four dining rooms, BlackFinn offers classic American fare: beef, seafood, pasta, chicken and flatbread sandwiches. Dine indoors or on the patio. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 4840 Big Island Dr. 345-3466. $$ FIVE GUYS BURGERS & FRIES Best of Jax 2010 winner. 13249 City Square Dr. 751-9711. 9039 Southside Blvd., 538-9100. 4413 Town Center Pkwy., Ste. 401. 996-6900. fiveguys.com $ THE GRAPE BISTRO & WINE BAR F More than 145 wines, along with a tapas menu of gourmet fare to pair with the wine list. A wide selection of beer is also served. L & D, daily. 10281 Midtown Parkway, Ste. 119. 642-7111. $$ ISLAND GIRL WINE & CIGAR BAR F Upscale tropical vibe. Walk-in humidor, pairing apps and desserts with 25 wines, ports by the glass. 220+ wines by the bottle; draft, bottled beer. L & D, daily. 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115. 854-6060. $$ JOHNNY ANGELS F The menu reflects its ’50s-style décor, including Blueberry Hill pancakes, Fats Domino omelet, Elvis special combo platter. Shakes, malts. B, L & D, daily. 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Ste. 120. 997-9850. $ LIBRETTO’S PIZZERIA & ITALIAN KITCHEN F Authentic NYC pizzeria brings Big Apple crust, cheese and sauce to Jax. Libretto’s serves third-generation family-style Italian classics, fresh-from-the-oven calzones, and desserts in a casual, comfy setting. L & D, daily. 4880 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1. 402-8888. $$ LIME LEAF F Authentic Thai cuisine: fresh papaya salad, pad Thai, mango sweet rice. BW. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.-Sat. 9822 Tapestry Park Cir., Stes. 108 & 109. 645-8568. $$ MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Tossed spring water dough, lean meats, veggies and vegetarian choices make up specialty pizzas, hoagies and calzones. FB. L & D, daily. 9734 Deer Lake Court (at Tinseltown). 997-1955. $ mellowmushroom.com MITCHELL’S FISH MARKET F Featuring seafood, an ever-changing menu of more than 180 items includes cedar-roasted Atlantic salmon and seared salt-and-pepper tuna. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 5205 Big Island Dr., St. Johns Town Ctr. 645-3474. $$$ THE ORIGINAL PANCAKE HOUSE The recipes, unique to the Pancake House, call for only the freshest ingredients. CM. B, L & D, daily. 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr. 997-6088. $$ OTAKI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE F Family-owned steakhouse has an open sushi bar, hibachi grill tables and an open kitchen. Dine indoor or out. FB, CM, TO. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, nightly. 7860 Gate Parkway, Stes. 119-122. 854-0485. $$$ POMPEII COAL-FIRED PIZZA F See Orange Park. 7860 Gate Parkway. 253-3314. $$ RENNA’S PIZZA F Renna’s serves up New York-style pizza, calzones, subs and lasagna made from authentic Italian recipes. Delivery, CM, BW. 4624 Town Crossing Dr., Ste. 125, St. Johns Town Center. 565-1299. rennaspizza.com $$

40 | FOLIO WEEKLY | FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011

SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY F Innovative menu of fresh local grilled seafood, sesame tuna, grouper Oscar, chicken, steak and pizza. Microbrewed ales and lagers. FB. L & D, daily. 9735 Gate Pkwy. N. 997-1999. $$ SOUTHSIDE ALE HOUSE F Steaks, fresh seafood, sandwiches and desserts. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9711 Deer Lake Court. 565-2882. $$ SUITE This new premium lounge and restaurant at St. Johns Town Center offers chef-driven small plates and an extensive list of specialty cocktails, served in a sophisticated atmosphere. FB. D & late-nite, nightly. 4880 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1. 493-9305. $$ URBAN FLATS See Ponte Vedra. CM. FB. L & D, daily. 9726 Touchton Road. 642-1488. $$ WASABI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Authentic Japanese cuisine, teppanyaki shows and a full sushi menu. CM. L & D, daily. 10206 River Coast Dr. 997-6528. $$ WHISKY RIVER Best of Jax 2010 winner. At St. Johns Town Center’s Plaza, Whisky River features wings, pizza, wraps, sandwiches and burgers served in a lively car racing-themed atmosphere (Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s the owner). FB. CM. L & D, daily. 4850 Big Island Drive. 645-5571. $$ WILD WING CAFÉ F Serving up 33 flavors of wings, as well as soups, sandwiches, wraps, ribs, platters and burgers. FB. 4555 Southside Blvd. 998-WING (9464). $$ YUMMY SUSHI F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Teriyaki, tempura, hibachi-style dinners, sushi & sashimi. Sushi lunch roll special. BW, sake. L & D, daily. 4372 Southside Blvd. 998-8806. $$

SAN JOSE ATHENS CAFÉ F Serving authentic Greek cuisine: lamb, seafood, veal and pasta dishes. BW. L & D, daily. 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7. 733-1199. $$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Burgers, sandwiches, nachos, quesadillas and cheese fries. 5613 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 1. 737-BURG. $ DICK’S WINGS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. This NASCARthemed family style sports place serves wings, buffalo tenders, burgers and chicken sandwiches. CM. BW. L & D, daily. 1610 University Blvd. W. 448-2110. dickswingsandgrill.com $ MOJO BAR-B-QUE F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The Southern Blues kitchen serves pulled pork, brisket and North Carolina-style barbecue. TO, BW. L & D, daily. 1607 University Blvd. W. 732-7200. $$

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SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK b.b.’s F A bistro menu is served in an upscale atmosphere, featuring almond-crusted calamari, tuna tartare and wild mushroom pizza. FB. L & D, Mon.-Fri.; brunch & D, Sat. 1019 Hendricks Ave. 306-0100. $$$ BISTRO AIX F Best of Jax 2010 winner. French, Mediterranean-inspired fare, award-winning wines, woodfired pizzas, house-made pastas, steaks, seafood. Indoor, outdoor dining. FB. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, nightly. 1440 San Marco Blvd. 398-1949. $$$ BISTRO 41 F Omelets, sandwiches, burgers, wraps, Metro Creations and Bistro Bites. Low carb dishes. B & L, Mon.Fri. 3563 Philips Hwy., Ste. 104. 446-9738. $$ CHECKER BBQ & SEAFOOD F Chef Art Jennette serves barbecue, seafood and comfort food, including pulled-pork, fried white shrimp and fried green tomatoes. L & D, Mon.Sat. 3566 St. Augustine Rd. 398-9206. $ EUROPEAN STREET F Big sandwiches, soups, desserts and more than 100 bottled and on-tap beers. BW. L & D, daily. 1704 San Marco Blvd. 398-9500. $ THE GROTTO F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Wine by the glass. Tapas-style menu offers a cheese plate, empanadas bruschetta, chocolate fondue. BW. 2012 San Marco Blvd. 398-0726. $$ HAVANA-JAX CAFÉ/CUBA LIBRE BAR LOUNGE F Authentic Latin American fine dining: picadillo, ropa vieja, churrasco tenderloin steak, Cuban sandwiches. L & D, Mon.-Sat. CM, FB. 2578 Atlantic Blvd. 399-0609. $ KIRIN SUSHI F On San Marco Square. All-new sushi menu. Dine under neon in a cool atmosphere. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 1950 San Marco Blvd., Ste. 1. 399-3305. $$. LAYLA’S OF SAN MARCO Fine dining in the heart of San Marco. Traditional Middle Eastern cuisine, served inside or outside on the hookah and cigar patio. BW. L & D, Mon.Sat.; D, Sun. 2016 Hendricks Ave. 398-4610. $$ MATTHEW’S Chef’s tasting menu or seasonal à la carte menu featuring an eclectic mix of Mediterranean ingredients. Dress is business casual, jackets optional. FB. D, Mon.-Sat. 2107 Hendricks Ave. 396-9922. $$$$ METRO DINER F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Historic 1930s diner offers award-winning breakfast and lunch. Fresh

seafood and Southern cooking. Bring your own wine. B & L, daily. 3302 Hendricks Ave. 398-3701. $$ PIZZA PALACE F It’s all homemade from Mama’s award-winning recipes: spinach pizza and chicken-spinach calzones. BW. L & D, daily. 1959 San Marco Blvd. 399-8815. $$ PULP F The juice bar offers fresh juices, froyo (frozen yogurt), teas, coffees made one cup at a time, along with 30 kinds of smoothies. B, L & D, daily. 1962 San Marco Blvd. 396-9222. $ RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE A Best of Jax 2010 winner. Midwestern prime beef, fresh seafood in an upscale atmosphere. FB. D, daily. 1201 Riverplace Blvd. 396-6200. $$$$ SAKE HOUSE See Riverside. 1478 Riverplace Blvd. 306-2188. SAN MARCO DELI F The independently owned & operated classic diner serves grilled fish, turkey burgers and lunch meats roasted daily in-house. Vegetarian options, including tempeh, too. Mon.-Sat. 1965 San Marco Blvd. 399-1306. $ TAVERNA SAN MARCO Tapas, small-plate items, Neapolitan-style wood-fired pizzas and entrées served in a rustic yet upscale interior. BW, TO. L & D, Tue.-Sat. 1986 San Marco Blvd. 398-3005. $$$

SOUTHSIDE BISTRO 41° F Casual dining features fresh, homemade breakfast and lunch dishes in a relaxing atmosphere. TO. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 3563 Philips Hwy., Ste. 104. 446-9738. $ BLUE BAMBOO Contemporary Asian-inspired cuisine includes rice-flour calamari, seared Ahi tuna, pad Thai. Street eats: barbecue duck, wonton crisps. BW. L, Mon.Fri.; D, Mon.-Sat. 3820 Southside Blvd. 646-1478. $$ BUCO DI BEPPO Italian dishes served family-style in an eclectic, vintage setting. Half-pound meatballs are a specialty. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 10334 Southside Blvd. 363-9090. $$$ CITY BUFFET CHINESE RESTAURANT A variety of Chinese-style dishes on one large buffet. Beer, TO, L & D, daily. 5601 Beach Blvd. 345-2507. $ THE CORNER BISTRO & WINE BAR F Casual fine dining. The menu blends modern American favorites served with international flair. The Fresh Bar offers fine wine, cocktails, martinis. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 9823 Tapestry Park Circle, Ste. 1. 619-1931. $$$ EL POTRO F Family-friendly, casual, El Potro cooks it fresh, made-to-order — fast, hot, simple. Daily specials and buffet at most locations. BW. L & D, daily. 5871 University Blvd. W., 733-0844. 11380 Beach Blvd., 564-9977. elpotrorestaurant.com $ EUROPEAN STREET F See San Marco. 5500 Beach Blvd. 398-1717. $ HALA CAFE & BAKERY F A local institution since 1975 serves house-baked pita bread, kabobs, falafel and daily lunch buffet. Best of Jax 2010 winner. TO, BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4323 University Blvd. S. 733-5141. $$ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Intracoastal. 8206 Philips Hwy. 732-9433. $ SPECKLED HEN TAVERN & GRILLE Stylish yet simple

gastropub features Southern-style cuisine made with a modern twist: Dishes are paired with international wines and beers, including a large selection of craft and IPA brews. FB. L & D, daily. 9475 Philips Hwy., Ste. 16. 538-0811. $$ TOMMY’S BRICK OVEN PIZZA F New York-style thin crust, brick-oven-cooked gluten-free pizzas, calzones, sandwiches (Thumann’s no-MSG meats, Grande cheeses). BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4160 Southside Blvd., Ste. 2. 565-1999. $$ WASABI JAPANESE BUFFET F Best of Jax 2010 winner. AYCE sushi and two teppanyaki grill items are included in buffet price. FB. L & D, daily. 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138C. 363-9888. $$

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE BOSTON’S RESTAURANT & SPORTSBAR F A full menu of sportsbar faves; pizzas till 2 a.m. Dine inside or on the patio. FB, TO. L & D, daily. 13070 City Station Dr., River City Marketplace. 751-7499. $$ CASA MARIA F The family-owned restaurant serves authentic Mexican fare, including fajitas and seafood. The specialty is tacos de azada. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 12961 N. Main St., Ste. 104. 757-6411. $$ JAX RIVER CITY CAFÉ Traditional breakfast fare includes omelets, sandwiches. Lunch features subs, burgers, sandwiches, grilled paninis, daily hot specials. Dine-in, carryout. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 4807 N. Main St. 355-9111. $ JOSEPH’S PIZZA & ITALIAN RESTAURANT F Gourmet pizzas, pastas. Authentic Italian entrees like eggplant parmigiana, shrimp scampi. BW. L & D, daily. 7316 N. Main St. 765-0335. $$ MILLHOUSE STEAKHOUSE F A locally-owned-andoperated steakhouse with choice steaks from the signature broiler, and seafood, pasta, Millhouse gorgonzola, homemade desserts. CM, FB. D, nightly. 1341 Airport Rd. 741-8722. $$ SALSARITA’S FRESH CANTINA F Southwest cuisine made from scratch, served in a family atmosphere. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 840 Nautica Dr., Ste. 131, River City Marketplace. 696-4001. $ SHARKY’S WINGS & GRILL A family-friendly restaurant with apps, burgers, subs & shrimp, plus 16 flavors of wings — get ’em in orders of 6-100. L & D, daily. 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., Oceanway. 714-0995. $$ THREE LAYERS CAFE F Lunch, bagels, desserts, and the adjacent Cellar serves fine wines. Inside and courtyard dining. BW. B, L & D, daily. 1602 Walnut St., Springfield. 355-9791. $ 3 LIONS SPORTS PUB & GRILL F This modern restaurant’s menu features popular favorites: salads, sandwiches and pizza, as well as fine European cuisine. Nightly specials. 2467 Faye Rd., Northside. 647-8625. $$ UPTOWN MARKET F In the 1300 Building at the corner of Third & Main. Fresh fare made with the same élan that rules Burrito Gallery. Innovative breakfast, lunch and deli selections. BW, TO. 1303 Main St. N. 355-0734. $$

WINE LISTINGS ANJO LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Thur. 9928 Old Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1, 646-2656 AROMAS CIGAR & WINE BAR Best of Jax 2010 winner. Call for schedule. 4372 Southside Blvd., 928-0515 BLUE BAMBOO 5:30-7:30 p.m., every first Thur. 3820 Southside Blvd., 646-1478 CIRCLE JAPAN “Sake 101” 5-8 p.m. every Fri. 12192 Beach Blvd., Ste. 1, Southside, 710-5193 THE GIFTED CORK Tastings daily. 64 Hypolita St., St. Augustine, 810-1083 THE GRAPE 5-7:30 p.m. every Wed.; 1-4 p.m. every Sat. 10281 Midtown Pkwy., Ste. 119, SJTC, 642-7111 THE GROTTO 6-8 p.m. every Thur. 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726 MONKEY’S UNCLE LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Fri. 1850 S. Third St., Jax Beach, 246-1070 NORTH BEACH BISTRO 6-8 p.m. every Tue. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 OCEAN 60 6-8 p.m every Mon. 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060 PUSSERS CARIBBEAN GRILL 6 p.m., every second Fri. 816 A1A N., Ste. 100, Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-7766

RIVERSIDE LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Fri. 1035 Park St., Five Points, 356-4517 THE TASTING ROOM 6-8 p.m. every first Tue. 25 Cuna St., St. Augustine, 810-2400 TASTE OF WINE Daily. 363 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 9, Atlantic Beach, 246-5080 TOTAL WINE & MORE Noon-6 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. 4413 Town Center Pkwy., Ste. 300, 998-1740 URBAN FLATS 5-8 p.m. every Wed. 330 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-5515 WHOLE FOODS MARKET 6 p.m. every Thur. 10601 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 288-1100 THE WINE BAR 6-8 p.m. every Thur. 320 First St. N., Jax Beach, 372-0211 WINE WAREHOUSE 4-7 p.m. every Fri. 665 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 246-6450 4434 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 448-6782 1188 Edgewood Ave. S., Riverside, 389-9997 4085 A1A S., St. Augustine Beach, 471-9900 ZAITOON MEDITERRANEAN GRILL 6-8 p.m., every first & third Wed. 13475 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 40, Intracoastal W., 221-7066

FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 41

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Dirty, Dirty Ears

The ear has a “G-spot,” says Santa Clara, Calif., ear-nose-and-throat surgeon, and so the moans of ecstasy that Vietnamese “ear pickers” reportedly elicit from clients may be justified. A San Jose Mercury News reporter, dispatched to Ho Chi Minh City in January to check it out, found barber shop technicians could sometimes coax “eargasms” (as they remove wax) by tickling a certain spot next to the eardrum served by multiple nerve endings and paper-thin skin. Said one female client, “Everybody is afraid the first time, but after, it’s, ‘Oh my God!’“ Said one Vietnamese man, returning home after a trip abroad, and who went immediately from the airport to a “hot toc” parlor for a picking, “[This] brings a lot of happiness.”

The Continuing Crisis

Two San Francisco-area counselors have formed Men of Tears, a male support group to encourage crying, according to a January San Francisco Chronicle reporter, who observed nine men recounting touching events in their lives, along with tears that, according to counselors, make them emotionally stronger and less hostile. One counselor praised the recent public cries of Speaker of the House John Boehner and hoped Pres. Obama (who stopped just short of tears at the memorial service for victims of the recent Tucson, Ariz., shootings) would someday cross that line. Disabled wheelchair user Jim Starr, 36, of Dorchester, England, was recently ordered off public roads because his “chair” is too big. Authorities told him his custom-made, motorized chair with caterpillar treads instead of wheels, which moves like a tank, would have to be licensed like one: as a “Category H” vehicle, one category up from “road roller.” Starr said his chair was the only way he could play at the beach with his kids. 2010 Beloved Banker: In December, J.P. Morgan Chase abruptly ended a program that allowed military personnel to defer paying on Chaseowned student loans while on active duty. Three weeks later, NBC News reported Chase’s mortgage division had long been ignoring a federal military protection law by charging 4,000 active-duty personnel higher mortgage-interest rates than permitted (and improperly foreclosing on 14 of them). That same week, Chase was found to be advertising (through an agent) a foreclosed-on, 5-year-old house in Rexburg, Idaho, without adequate notice that it was infested with “thousands” of garter snakes. In February, Chase reinstated the student-loan deferments and apologized for ignoring the federal law.

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42 | FOLIO WEEKLY | FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011

Three men visiting Philadelphia in December were charged with a several-store robbery spree and, perhaps luckily for them, they were quickly arrested. The police report noted one victim (who had a gun waved in her face) was Terri Staino, 38, owner of John Anthony Hair Styling for Men, who’s also the husband of Anthony Staino — reputed to be the No. 2 man in the South Philadelphia mob, according to the Philadelphia Daily News. Alex Good, 15, practicing tee shots with his high school golf team on a rainy day under a golf course awning, hit one of his drives on the metal pole holding the awning up, causing the ball to ricochet into his eye, resulting in likely permanent damage. Despite the fact that the pole was directly in front of the tee, inches away,

Good nonetheless charged the Pumpkin Ridge Golf Club (Hillsboro, Ore.) with negligence and filed a $3 million lawsuit in January. How Not to Do a Laser Bronchoscopy: First, according to a case in Massachusetts Medical Law Report in December, don’t let the laser set fire to the patient’s throat. More importantly, if a spark does ignite, don’t use the usual home remedy for a small flame, i.e., try to blow it out — because blowing down the “trach” tube might actually extend the fire, as it did here. The surgeon and hospital were not named; the lawsuit resulting from the patient’s death was settled out of court.

Bright Ideas

Columbia University researcher Edward Hall III, 24, was arrested in January for trespassing at New York City’s JFK airport when he disobeyed United Airlines staff and tried a different way to board a plane. He told ticket agents he badly needed to be on the flight to San Francisco even though he’d forgotten to bring a photo ID. Frustrated, Hall stepped behind the counter and crawled onto the luggage conveyor, where his next stop, minutes later, was the tarmac where bags were being loaded — and where he was arrested. A suburban Chicago high school health-class instructor’s technique for teaching terms of female reproductive parts raised the ire of the Illinois Family Institute religious organization in January. To some kids, teacher Jacqulyn Levin’s “game” was just a mnemonic to facilitate memorizing the anatomy, but others told the institute that Levin’s play on words was chantable, could be set to the tune of the “Hokey Pokey” and was referred to by some students as “the vagina dance.” Said a complaining parent, “It’s disrespectful to women and removes modesty about the reproductive parts.”

Least Competent Criminals

Failed to Think It Through: Kyle Eckman, 22, was charged with theft in Lancaster, Pa., in November after he was stopped leaving a Kohl’s department store, mostly in his own clothes but also wearing a pair of Elle high-heel shoes he was allegedly trying to shoplift. Jimmy Honeycutt, 27, was arrested in Pawtucket, R.I., in October and charged with five recent robberies of liquor stores. Found on Honeycutt was a phone directory listing of liquor stores, with the ones recently robbed checked off. Recurring Themes: At a traffic stop, a passenger climbed into the driver’s seat as the officer approached, trying to save a drugimpaired driver from a citation. But once again, it turned out the passenger was just as drugimpaired as the driver, and both were cited (Gastonia, N.C., Dec.). A woman, trying to hide drugs, stuffed them down her pants into her most private area, and once again, when police found them, the woman immediately denied the pills were hers (Manatee, Fla., Dec.).

Undignified Death

A 26-year-old man died in Chattanooga, Tenn., in January after being bitten by a copperhead snake. According to police, a friend caught the snake and took it to the man’s house because, for some reason, he wanted the man to ascertain the snake’s gender. Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net

ANGEL ON THE BUS I saw you on the 10:30 bus. You: most beautifull girl in the world wearing glasses and had a tatto on your leg some sorta flower. Me: shy guy who couldn’t stop staring at you (I was in a suit). When: Feb. 9, 2011. Where: Ws2 Bus. #1077-0222 LATE FOR CLASS We never really talked the first half of the semester, but you were always on my wavelength. Class never really started until we arrived. Now that I know you live down the street, I’m hoping you’ll stop by and bring your High Lifes and PBRs. Because I can tell that we are gonna be friends. When: Fall 2010. Where: FSCJ Kent Campus. #1076-0222 MAWGWII MADNESS ON SOUTHSIDE You: go by ‘Gizmo,’ breathtaking blue eyes, enigmatic smile, my heart in your hands. Me: 5 ft., dubbed your ‘Starshine.’ I am just as in love with you as I was three years ago and will always be yours. I hope one day you forgive me. Will you join me for conversation over coffee? When: Feb. 10, 2011. Where: Southside. #1075-0222

2011. Where: Marks. #1066-0201 THE ONE WHO GOT AWAY You-Man, Me-Woman. You were lost looking for your balls. You weren’t sure where you misplaced them. I gave you an idea on where to look but you were unable to reach. Maybe you should try an alternate route? :-) Not sure if you bat for my team or the other one but thought I’d take a chance ;). When: Jan. 2011. Where: Jacksonville. #1065-0201 THOSE RED FRECKLES CAUGHT ME Hey there those sexy red freckles on ur shoulders made me blush. love to meet up so I can circle and give those freckles some attention. When: Jan. 21, 2011. Where: Jax Library regency branch. #1064-0201 SAW YOU AT THE GYM LAST NIGHT You looked distressed, like something was on your mind. That furrowed brow was beautiful. Would you give me a chance to make you smile? Me-Man: You-Woman. When: Jan. 18, 2011. Where: The Gym. #1063-0201

I SAW YOU AT CRUISERS You were sitting with a group of ladies. Your brown sweater and glasses magnifi ed your beautiful blue eyes. Your smile and laugh were contagious even from across the room. Let’s get together and share another order of French fries. #1074-0215

SWEET MODEL You: modelesk, heels, designer jeans, dark coat, healthy hair. You have the cutest nose. Me: Boots, jeans, hard hat, vest. You showed where the sugar is! Let’s have Starbucks and conversate. When: Jan. 10, 2011 @ 7:30 p.m. Where: Jax Gate @ 95 and Baymeadows. #1062-0125

NINJA SEEKS ANGRY WOMAN I saw you at the garage across from the Modis building. I know you were upset because I accidentally jumped-kicked a guy into your car, but to be fair, you did slap me so hard I’m still feeling it today. Listen, I got your car fixed and I just can’t stop thinking about you. Meet me at Coggin Collision. When: Feb. 1, 2011. Where: Top of parking garage downtown. #1073-0215

NO TIME CAN BIND THIS Pockets fed with sand from nights among the beach, my heart in your hand. I lost it all in your voice at Rendezvous, blonde hair glaring my vision from the sight I’d soon often not see. Hard to grasp all I can do is wait

with hands full of hope of you coming around. When: Jan. 5, 2011. Where: Rendezvous, #1061-0125 BLEEKER SEEKS HER JUNO Sassy petite server at Tom & Betty’s who I said could be Ellen Page’s stunt double. I’d love to fly kites with some gin and tonic in hand. You told me your hamburger phone was out of order. Well babe, I know just how to fix it. Let me be your lady Bleeker? Dream Big! When: Jan. 7, 2011. Where: Tom & Betty’s on Roosevelt. #1059-0118 PLAYBOY BUNNY I saw you with a Bocefus-looking dog hanging out of the window of your Camry. You were wearing scrubs but otherwise looking like a Playboy bunny. I was in a truck with the candy paint selling George Foremans and I saw that look on your face. Only rasta free the people... Meet me at the park. When: Jan. 4, 2011. Where: Hodges. #1058-0118 YOU KNEW MY NAME Getting pizza after hours and you knew my name, I was too dumbfounded to ask for yours. You had an amazing smile and were wearing a black dress and glasses. If we meet again, I’ll try not to be at a loss for words. When: Jan. 1, 2011. Where: Northstar Pizza and Subs. #1057-0118 DELLWOOD DELIGHT I used to see you at the Brick regularly but I never had the guts to talk to you; now I see you cruising around in your green BMW convertible frequently. You: short, thin and beautiful. Me: uncontrollably shouts “I love you” whenever I see you. Our houses share the same street; do we have anything else in common? When: Dec. 23, 2010. Where: Riverside. #1055-0111

RED HAIRED FEMEEFETALE Watched you as you walk into your hotel, been catching secret glimpses of you while working we work our shifts. You-beautiful long red hair, slender tight body with a booty, amazing smile. Wish you would appear on my hospital floor to say hi. you can have my heart, your so amazing. Me-dorky hospital care worker. in the Transplant unit. Mayo Clinic. Big white pickup truck. When: Jan. 26, 2011. Where: Marriot Courtyard @ Mayo Clinic. #1072-0208

BLUE HEELS ON BROADWAY Saw u at Broadway Deli across from St. Lukes. YOU: brunette, white striped shirt, blue skirt, striking blue heels. ME: white shirt, gray slacks. Couldn’t take my eyes off you. Saw you grab a Folio Weekly, thought I’d take a chance. When: Lunchtime, Feb. 1, 2011. Where: Broadway Deli. #1069-0208

STUNNING BRUNETTE W/ HIGHLIGHTS We met at Tinseltown on 12/08. We were both on dates and saw the movie “Unstoppable.” We talked at the bathrooms afterwards, you told me I had 15 secs to get your number but I was too slow. Our dates interrupted us. You: Stunning beauty, big beautiful green eyes, dressed down but looking amazing. Me: Sweat pants and a hoodie. Maybe we can get a movie together? Without the dates of course! When: Dec. 9, 2010. Where: Tinseltown Theatres. #1052-0104 “HOW TO BE A VETERINARIAN You asked me to not tell anyone, but you want to be a vet. We talked a little bit after you rang me up and walked around the counter to talk to me some more. I should have ask for your number. If you’re single I’d love to talk to you again. What did I try to pay with or where do I work? When: Dec. 16, 2010. Where: Larry’s on Westside. #1051-1228 WE COMPARED OUR INJURED ARMS And you definitely caught my eye! After the trash cans “jumped out in front of me” in the aisle, you noticed my scar and we talked. You said my story was better than yours, and wished us a good night when you saw us later. Was hoping you’d ask for my number but you didn’t. Are you interested? I am. When: Dec. 18, 2010. Where: Walmart-San Jose Blvd. #1050-1228

FRESH FROM THE GARDEN BOY You: big, muscular, Hispanic, dark skin, boy with the sexiest accent ever. I heard you go nuts 4 blondes. When: Dec. 5, 2010. Where: Garden Cafe. #1048-1228 NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN I hadn’t seen you in the area in what felt like years, but then, out of nowhere, I saw you again. You were in scrubs heading into the Baptist Outpatient Center. Longingly, I smiled at you from Aetna. It’s nice to have you back in my world. When: Dec. 14, 2010. Where: Baptist Outpatient Center. #1047-1228 To place your free I Saw U love connection, go to folioweekly.com/isawu.php fax 904.260.9773 or snail mail ATTN: I Saw U Folio Weekly, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256

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SEXY SAXIST SATURDAY NIGHT YOU: Your sultry lips creating magical notes and when you played the Jeopardy theme song, I knew it was meant to be. ME: Corner table, salt-andpepper hair, smiling the entire time. I spend a lot of time at Kosmics, when will I see you again? When: Jan. 22, 2011. Where: Kosmic Bluz. #1068-0201

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HEY YOU, IN WALGREEN’S Saturday night, you in tight blue jeans and very hot. I in my Adidas training gear, and looking very virile. You kept looking and I knew we should have spoken. When: Jan. 22, 2011. Where: Walgreens. #1067-0201 SEXY SAILOR THAT STOLE MY HEART You: tall, dark and handsome Greek god. Me: short, awkward red head. Smiled at me as you left the bar chasing after your drunk girlfriend. Call me, I’m into that scene. When: Jan. 21,

BIBLICAL AND ATYPICAL You stopped me in my stumbling tracks, and only got a few words out before my friends pulled me away... I kept looking back at you as I left the bar, hoping you would follow. Where were we? When: Dec. 31, 2010. Where: The Beaches. #1053-0111

INTERESTING WAITER Interesting waiter who served my table the banquet. We looked at each other and talked briefly afterwards but not privately. Would like to chat more and get more acquainted. And, yes the glasses do make a tone. When: Dec. 10, 2010. Where: Banquet. #1049-1228

TALL SVELTE BLONDE RIVERSIDE SNOW HUNNY 3,300 feet high on a mountain in a Patagonia snowsuit with two layers of North Face gloves and you still looked hot. I thought cabin fever was a bad thing until seeing you bathe in the kitchen. You were perfect; but I’m sorry for the frozen lock, rustic staircase, chick coffee, and the TSA confiscating your moonshine. Let me make it up to you by taking you from the top of the mountains to the depths of the sea. When: Jan. 19, 2011. Where: Riverside/Gatlinburg. #1071-0208 PIGEON-TOED QUEEN You had on a black dress with black heels. You were at Square One with your girl who has the same first name as you. We danced, we kissed. It felt like the best night of my life. You mentioned that you are pigeon-toed … we laughed. I lost your number. When: Jan. 24, 2011. Where: Square One. #1070-0208

IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY Green eyes and hair of gold. It was your birthday. You and a friend were having a good time shooting darts. Can’t stop thinking about you. When: Nov. 19, 2010. Where: Monkey’s Uncle San Jose Blvd. #1054-0111

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FreeWill Astrology ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Newspapers are unable, seemingly, to discriminate between a bicycle accident and the collapse of civilization,” said George Bernard Shaw more than 60 years ago — and it’s still true. It’s very important to be more discerning than newspapers in the weeks ahead. You can’t afford to confuse a minor mess with a major snafu; it’d be a big mistake to treat a small temporary detour as a permanent loss of momentum. Keep your melodramatic tendencies in check, even as you appreciate the entertainment value of your ever-shifting story.

replied: “Not repeating myself is the hardest thing. And yet it’s also a lot of fun. There’s nothing more exciting than to keep being surprised by what I write. It’s deeply enjoyable to be able to feed people clues they haven’t heard. And when I focus on doing what gives me pleasure, the horoscopes write themselves.” I hope this testimony helps you in your life. If you’re afraid you’re in danger of repeating yourself, start playing more. Look for what amuses you, what scrambles your expectations in entertaining ways. Decide that you’re going emphasize provoking delight in yourself, not preserving your image.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I know many Tauruses skilled at selling products and services, but less adept at presenting themselves. They don’t mind being pushy and strategic when it comes to shaping the opinions of others, as long as they can remain a bit shy about showing others exactly who they are. If this is true about you, I propose you work on changing it. The weeks ahead are an excellent time to be bold about expressing the totality of your beauty and making sure everyone who matters to you gets to see it in its full glory.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): I’m a big fan of your analytical intellect, and I’d never advise you to shove it out of the way so your emotional intelligence can rule uncontested. But this is one time when I think the latter needs to get more say than the former; your emotional intelligence has license to take precedence over your analytical intellect. In that light, consider this counsel from my Facebook friend Sophia Veleda: “I do not consider emotions to be the dirty redheaded stepchild of the frontal cortex. Our emotional selves are more intuitive, faster, smarter (by means of being able to take in more data at once), and just as capable. The frontal cortex is as likely to make errors due to data omission as the emotional center is likely to get a degree of magnitude wrong.”

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You’re not scared of acquiring more clout and luster, right? You won’t get nervous if you suddenly have to deal with more success than usual, right? You won’t run away if a power spot you’ve been cultivating finally starts providing the opportunities and responsibilities you’d been hoping for, right? I just hope you’re ready to handle the good stuff that’s available. Don’t confuse this enjoyable stress with the other kind. CANCER (June 21-July 22): In her essay “The Possible Human,” Jean Houston describes amazing capacities within reach of any of us brazen and cagey enough to cultivate them. We can learn to thoroughly enjoy being in our bodies, for example. We can summon enormous power to heal ourselves, develop an acute memory, enter at will into the alpha and theta wave states that encourage meditation and creative reverie, cultivate an acute perceptual apparatus to see “infinity in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower” and practice the art of being deeply empathetic. Guess what? The next half-year is one of the best times ever to work on developing these superpowers. To get started, answer this: Is there any attitude or belief you have that might be standing in the way? (Here’s Houston’s essay: tinyurl.com/PossibleHuman) LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The depths are calling you. Can you hear their subtle melodies? Don’t worry: I’m not referring to the icky, stinky, creepy depths; I don’t mean you’ll have to lose yourself in a chaotic miasma or wander speechless in a claustrophobic maze. No; the deep place I’m talking about is maybe the cleanest, most well-lit abyss you’ve ever had the complicated pleasure to explore. I’m not saying there’ll be no hairy riddles to deal with, but even the hairy riddles will be interesting, at least a little fun, and helpful in your efforts to purify yourself. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I’m no fan of the climate change that’s rocking every corner of the planet. In fact, I oppose it; I protest it; I resist it. However, I do need to acknowledge there’s at least one upside: The world is becoming more fragrant. Scientists say that as carbon dioxide levels rise, plants release more aromatic chemicals called “biogenic volatile organic compounds.” The smell of growing vegetation could intensify by as much as 40 percent in the decades ahead. This isn’t a precise metaphorical match for your upcoming destiny, but I do see some similarities. Things are getting hotter for you, emotionally speaking — and that’ll be stimulating, often even pleasurable, to the senses. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): An interviewer asked, “What is the most difficult aspect of what you do?” I 44 | FOLIO WEEKLY | FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): There are thousand of things in the world to provide you with only mediocre nourishment; the influences that deeply enrich with their blessings are much fewer. To say it another way: You derive a bare amount of inspiration and teaching from the great majority of people, songs, images, words, environments and sights; whereas, you draw lifesustaining illumination and spirit-ennobling motivation from just a precious few. Your task in the weeks ahead: Identify that special minority, and take aggressive steps to be in more ongoing communion with it. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Research suggests more and more American high school students are getting good grades every year. The number of A’s doled out has been going up steadily. Does that mean kids are getting smarter or that teachers have relaxed their standards? I don’t have a definitive answer for that, but I do have a theory: All over the world, the Capricorn tribe has been growing more intelligent in recent years. Your increase in 2010 was especially notable. There may have been a bit of tapering off lately, but I expect that to change. The omens say you’re due for another growth spurt in your ability to understand how the world works. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Is there anything you tend to hoard? Anything you store up in excessive amounts? Are there emotions you cling to past the time they’re doing you any good? Do you notice yourself feeling pangs of acquisitiveness when in the presence of particular treasures, symbols or pretty things? If so, it’s an excellent time to work on dissipating those fixations. In the days ahead, you’ll have cosmic assistance whenever you exert your willpower to undo fanatical attachments to just about anything. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I’m hoping you’ll grant your ego more permission to shine in the weeks ahead. I’m hoping you’ll allow it to unveil more flash, feel more zeal and exert more force. After all your earnest bouts of self-sacrifice, you deserve a poetic license to brag like a hip-hop millionaire. After putting in such tireless devotion to maintaining an oceanic sense of self, you have every right to bust out a crisp, ferocious blast of “I am!” Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

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FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 45

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Movin’ On Down

The Myth of the Tiny House Movement

n the same way that America’s fast-food purveyors pack their menus with cheap, empty calories, America’s home builders pack their houses with cheap, empty space. On a cost-per-square-foot basis, the typical McMansion may seem like a good deal, but like a Big Mac, what sort of nourishment does it truly deliver? Gorge yourself on cathedral ceilings, three-car garages and all the tasteless architectural condiments you can stomach (gables, turrets, etc.) and you’ll only end up as queasy and unsatisfied as the Joneses next door. Like tiny medallions of herb-encrusted, farm-to-table lamb loin at your local fancy restaurant, smaller homes — sustainably grown, artfully assembled, a little bit pricey — represent an obvious alternative to such fare. But how to convince America’s real estate gluttons that this approach can apply equally to dining rooms as well as dinner? Ever since Henry David Thoreau built a 150-square-foot shack for himself at Walden Pond to escape the clutter and distractions of 19th-century America, small homes have been equated with economy, simplicity, an escape from the hamster wheel of consumerism. In our own era, the clutter and distractions of contemporary culture are greater than ever, and thus the tiny house has shrunk even further in size while greatly expanding in metaphorical significance. The XS-House, available from the Tumbleweed Tiny House Company, has a smaller footprint than a California king mattress and less than half the square footage with which Thoreau made do. At just 65 square feet, the XS-House would probably inspire PETA protests if farmers started raising chickens in them. And like many small-home advocates, Tumbleweed founder Jay Shafer tends to emphasize the frugality, environmental sustainability and transcendence from material obligations and concerns. The tiny house life, he explained to the Associated Press in a November 2010 interview, is “very un-American in the sense that living small means consuming less.” But are evangelists like Shafer selling tiny houses short when they position them as antidotes to consumerism? After all, it’s just as easy, and perhaps both more accurate and more strategic, to position them as potent temples of consumerism, a way to revel in the materiality of day-to-day existence. Build an XS-House yourself and it will cost you around $16,000 for the plans and necessary materials. Buy one ready-made, and the cost escalates to $38,997. That puts it at a luxury-priced $599 per square foot, or more than four times the cost of your average Vegas McMansion! Better yet, it’s an instant house, a house-to-go, and what’s more American than that? Like a 100-calorie snack

pack, a tiny house encourages you to splurge. Take two or three, they’re a small, fun, fashionable way to affirm your commitment to live gently on this Earth wherever you happen to have rural acreage. Even as your sole residence, a smaller home can help you attain a new level of consumerist obsession. After all, who pays more attention to food — a really fat person or an anorexic? In 1998, architect Sarah Susanka wrote “The Not So Big House,” a manifesto that championed quality over quantity, smaller but more emotionally rewarding domiciles, houses designed for maximum livability rather than maximum curb appeal. In the 12 years since, she’s published eight more books, including “Not So Big Solutions for Your Home,” “The Not So Big Life: Making Room for What Really Matters” and “More Not So Big Solutions for Your Home.” Clearly, making your house smaller and your life simpler is no easy process. It involves thinking and re-thinking, a strong curatorial eye and the capacity for iterative remodeling, which is to say, endurance shopping. In a McMansion, you can easily lose sight of the stuff that gives your life meaning. It gets packed away in closets, spare bedrooms, three-car garages. In a tiny house, everything you own is on display, within reach. If you’re looking at your kitchen appliances all day, you have a legitimate need for the most gorgeous kitchen appliances known to man, and a legitimate rationale for purchasing new ones often. If space is at a premium, you can be forgiven for constantly upgrading to the flattest flat-screen TVs, the most compact washer/dryer combos. A McMansion can almost surreptitiously seduce you into a spartan, almost miserly lifestyle. A big garage means you have space for a big car, so you don’t have to travel to the grocery store as often. A restaurant-grade kitchen means you’ll eat at home more often. Your media room and exercise room will similarly reduce entertainment expenditures, transportation costs and your desire to leave the house. Is it any wonder that as our houses grew bigger and bigger over the course of the

A smaller home can help you attain a new level of consumerist obsession. After all, who pays more attention to food — a really fat person or an anorexic? past decade, our economy eventually took a nosedive? Smaller houses reacquaint us with our more profligate and productive selves. Spend a few hours in MEKA’s upscale shipping containers or the futuristic jewel-box known as the Micro Compact Home, and you’ll be itching to stretch out in your favorite restaurant or the metroplex, and maybe even spend longer hours at work in the relatively spacious accommodations of your cubicle. But never mistake the small house for a totem of sacrifice or self-denial. A small house allows you to cultivate luxury and connoisseurship at an attainable price point and never settle for the second-rate. Like Apple over PC clones, like Chez Panisse over Olive Garden and Whole Foods over WinnDixie, the small house proposes less for more as the true path to consumer satisfaction. Greg Beato themail@folioweekly.com

Folio Weekly welcomes Backpage Editorial submissions. Essays should be at least 1,200 words and on a topic of local interest or concern. Email your Backpage to themail@folioweekly. com or snail mail it to Anne Schindler, Editor, Folio Weekly, 9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256. Opinions expressed on the Backpage are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the editors or management of Folio Weekly. FEBRUARY 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 47

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