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CONTENTS // FEB. 19-25, 2014 • VOLUME 27 • NUMBER 47

EDITOR’S NOTE Some Justice. No Peace

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EDITORIAL

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his jail is full of blacks and they all act like thugs. … This may sound a bit radical, but if more people would arm themselves and kill these fucking idiots when they’re threatening you, eventually they may take the hint and change their behavior.”

Michael Dunn wrote those words while awaiting the trial that concluded Saturday. He was, of course, convicted on three counts of attempted murder and one count of shooting into a vehicle, but somehow not of the first-degree murder of 17-year-old Jordan Davis. The jury deadlocked on that count. Regardless, Dunn will probably spend the rest of his days lonely and miserable and forgotten, in a state prison full of “blacks” who “act like thugs” and haven’t “taken the hint” he and his gun dropped.

There is some justice in that, but it feels hollow, incomplete. That a jury couldn’t convict Dunn for gunning Jordan down, that at least some of them apparently couldn’t see through his transparently fanciful concoction about a shotgun (even though Dunn fled the scene, had some pizza, walked his dog, took a nap and never bothered to call the police, then at trial blamed the cops for not searching diligently enough for the imaginary weapon), that a black boy being “disrespectful” gives short-tempered white guys license to kill in “self-defense” — if you want to believe in justice for all, that’s a bitter pill.

This wasn’t, as the media too often said, about “loud music” (or, in Dunn’s words, “thug music”). It was about entrenched stereotypes of young black men as dangerous thugs. Michael Dunn looked at Jordan Davis and saw a criminal, just as George Zimmerman looked at Trayvon Martin and saw a criminal. Now those unarmed teenagers are dead, and no one has been held accountable for their killings.

We can pretend that this isn’t about race. We can say that it’s really about some amorphous intergenerational conflict or cultural misunderstanding or a lack of general civility. But we’d only be lying to ourselves. Jordan Davis was not a “fucking idiot” any more than any other mouthy 17-year-old who likes loud, obnoxious music and doesn’t show absolute deference to nosy elders. But that’s not why he’s dead.

He’s dead because he was black. Let’s not kid ourselves about that.

And now, as it was with Trayvon, Angela Corey has failed to convict his killer. She’ll get another crack at it — the state will retry Dunn — but the damage is already done. Blame Corey, blame the jury, blame gun culture, blame the Stand Your Ground law that emboldens paranoids like Dunn, blame the system writ large — it doesn’t really matter. Jordan Davis is still dead, and justice wasn’t served. Not fully. Not enough.

If you’re a young black man, there’s a message there: You are suspicious by virtue of your existence. “I have taken off my hoodie,” a local 13-year-old told First Coast News. “I usually wear it in the stores, but I’ve taken it off. … I watch my back while I’m walking down the streets.”

How sad is that?

Jeffrey C. Billman twitter/jeffreybillman jbillman@folioweekly.com

MAIL

FULL EXPOSURE // DENNIS HO

from the sort of candidate I’d wish for, and it’s a crying shame that he’s our only hope for unseating the unspeakable Rick Scott, whose drawbacks are so numerous and egregious that the fact that the GOP is solidly behind him is so shameful that it would be worthy of another column.

I’ve told numerous friends that I’ll be holding my nose and voting for Crist, because he is frankly the only alternative to Scott. If there were ever a time for “none of the above,” this would be it! There is not. We must get Scott out, and Crist is the only real possibility for doing that.

What Are You Calling Raggedy?

Terrible Story, Terrible State

What a terrible story [Cover Story, “Marriage Equality. Now,” Jeffrey C. Billman, Feb. 5].

(Not the writing, the story being written about.) It’s a shame that this happened.

Stories like this make me wonder why there are, which there are, famous gay and lesbian couples who even bother to live in Florida. This state’s position on “non-traditional” marriage, and even on “non-traditional” civil unions, not to mention the difficulty for “non-traditional” couples to adopt children in this state, baffle me.

— David Nielsen, via folioweekly.com

Hold Your Nose

You expressed the sentiments I’ve been trying to explain to friends more eloquently, and containing more specifics, than I’ve been able to [Editor’s Note, “The Crist Conundrum,” Jeffrey C. Billman, Feb. 12]. I don’t see how anyone, Crist included, could deny his opportunism and shapeshifting, whether within the Republican Party, as an independent, or now as a Democrat. He is far

— Joe Lowrey

I agreed with most everything you wrote in your article [Crime City, “Santa Popo Comes to the Northside,” Wes Denham, Jan. 15], with one exception. Your description of where the mayhem took place: Jacksonville’s “raggedy” Northside. The area you described is neat as a pin, where there are eateries and shopping. I happen to live here, in what you refer to as “raggedy,” in a beautiful home on scenic Dunns Creek. My home was featured in Water’s Edge magazine a few years ago. Be careful with your biased thoughts of our community.

— Karoll Stokes

Correction In our cover story last week on Jacksonville’s pension crisis, we incorrectly stated that the plan Mayor Alvin Brown proposed last year sought to move city employees to a 401(k)-type program. In fact, his plan called for both current and former city employees to contribute more toward their pensions.

If you would like to respond to something that appeared in Folio Weekly, please send an email with your address and phone number (for verification purposes only) to mail@folioweekly.com.

AVERAGE GUYS: Darryl Allmond and Mikhail Muhammad of the New Black Panther Party for Self-Defense demonstrate outside the Duval County Courthouse on Feb. 12, during Michael Dunn’s murder trial. Muhammad spent much of the day shouting diatribes, through a bullhorn, aimed at politicians, judges and the media, alleging racial inequality and profiling.

“I was born and raised in Jacksonville and went into the military,” he says. “I’m a father, a mentor, a neighbor. Just like any other average guy.”

FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5

NEWS

Witness to the Prosecution

Thoughts from a week in the courtroom watching the Michael Dunn trial

M

ichael Dunn hates rap music. Hates it.

“Thug music,” he called it. And when he pulled into that Gate convenience store that fateful day in November 2012, it was blaring loudly, obnoxiously. Of that there is no doubt. And it pissed him off.

Dunn had squeezed his Jetta into the space next to that red Dodge Durango, the source of the noise pollution. The Durango’s passengerside tires were on the line separating the parking spaces. So close. The SUV’s stereo had been customized; the bass thumped so hard it rattled the Durango’s doors and rearview mirror — bone-vibrating bass.

Hates it.

“Rap crap,” he said to his fiancée, Rhonda Rouer, as she got out of the car to buy some wine inside the store.

“I know,” she responded with a sigh.

The choice of song didn’t help: “Beef,” by Lil Reese. Maybe Dunn caught some of the lyrics.

The song is — no denying this — violent and expletive-laden, loaded with words like “bitch,” “kill” and “nigga,” lines like “Lil Durk know where he stay/he a be dead by the next day.”

He later told detectives, “I don’t know if they’re singing or what but they’re saying, ‘Kill him.’ ” He heard someone say, “Kill that bitch.”

And he was very scared. “That’s when I put my window down again and I said, ‘Excuse me, are you talking about me?’ ” Of course they weren’t, no more than someone singing along to Johnny Cash wants to actually take a shot of cocaine and shoot his woman down. But Michael Dunn was very afraid, and he hates rap music.

This, he told police, is when he saw one of the four boys in the SUV, 17-year-old Jordan Davis, brandish a shotgun. Then, Dunn said, Davis opened the car door and told him, “You’re dead, bitch.”

With a bone-chilling pride in his own efficiency, Dunn described to the police what happened next: “That’s when I reached in my glovebox, unholstered my gun and quicker than a flash had a round chambered in it and I shot.”

Then he fired another nine rounds at the Durango, three of which struck and killed Jordan Davis; even as the red SUV sped away, he kept firing. That shotgun was never found; Dunn never mentioned it to his fiancée as they left the scene (without calling the cops to report the shooting).

The witnesses never saw it, either. One later testified that Dunn told Davis, “You aren’t going to talk to me that way,” before opening fire.

And yet Dunn’s trial concluded Saturday with a mixed verdict; the jury convicted him on three lesser charges, and Dunn will likely spend the rest of his life behind bars, but they deadlocked on the murder count. At least one juror, maybe more, thought Michael Dunn was right to fear for his life.

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aybe Jordan Davis was singing along to that Lil Reese song. It’s doubtful his parents would approve, doubtful he dared use a single cuss word in either his mother’s or 6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014

Courtesy of the Florida Times-Union

his father’s house. They’re not the kind of folks to stand for that sort of thing.

Jordan Davis wasn’t perfect, but neither was he a thug. He was middle class, a teenager.

He’d been homeschooled by his mother when he was younger. He and his friends had been mall-hopping that day; he’d paid a visit to his girlfriend at her job at Urban Outfitters.

He was a beautiful kid coming of age in a world where Stand Your Ground has blurred the lines between self-defense and murder, especially when the shooter is white and the dead person is black.

Jordan Davis didn’t deserve to die.

He died because he stepped outside the boundaries of where Michael Dunn believes young

black men should be — not unlike Emmett Till, who was flirting with a white cashier in Mississippi in 1955, or Trayvon Martin, who was deemed suspicious in his father’s Sanford neighborhood in 2012. They violated the South’s social code and paid the price.

So did Jordan Davis, who refused to turn down his music and told an older white man to fuck off. In so doing, he threatened Michael Dunn’s sense of his place in the world, his privilege, his authority.

The Other had arrived and was declaring himself with an offensive boom.

Maybe America — at least here in the remnants of the Confederacy — isn’t ready for black teenage boys who are full of themselves,

rebellious, smart-ass, brash, taking their place in the world. Maybe we, like Michael Dunn, are scared to death.

A lot has changed in the last half-century, but this hasn’t. Young black men are still perceived as things to be feared, as almost inherently dangerous. Dunn had a waking nightmare that a young black man was going to off him right then and there, just outside the front door of a shiny, busy, well-lit, tastefully landscaped convenience store with at least two clerks manning the registers, with customers coming and going, at the intersection of two major thoroughfares through the Southside’s suburban sprawl.

If the Dunn trial taught us anything, it’s that young black Americans are not yet entirely free.

NEWS State Attorney Angela Corey said before the trial — for which I was in the courtroom gavelto-gavel — that this wasn’t going to be about race. Lucia McBath, Davis’ mother, said she didn’t believe it was a hate crime. Suggesting otherwise, she said, would dishonor her son because he wasn’t about division. He wanted everyone to get along.

She’s wrong. Corey’s wrong, too. This was all about race. And it was a hate crime. Michael Dunn doesn’t just hate rap music. He hates black kids who listen to rap music. Dunn was so blinded by this hate that he actually believed Davis and his friends would call up other gang members and swarm the city looking for him.

That’s the way gangs work, don’t you know?

S

ince 2005, Florida’s self-defense law, called Stand Your Ground, no longer requires someone to retreat from a life-threatening situation. If you believe that your life is in danger, you can meet deadly force with deadly force, shoot to kill. You kill someone and then a jury decides if that belief was reasonable.

Make no mistake about it — Stand Your Ground was in play here, and likely factored into the mistrial. Dunn didn’t try to get his charges dismissed by making a formal Stand Your Ground petition to the judge, but his lawyers argued to the jury that the law applied, and the judge’s instructions to the jury included the admonition that, thanks to Stand Your Ground, Dunn had no duty to retreat if he felt

his life was in danger.

Outside the courthouse, R.L. Gundy, Florida director of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference and a Jacksonville minister, told me, “The pen of the law has taken away the morality of the law with Stand Your Ground. The Legislature in the state of Florida is on trial over Trayvon Marin and Jordan Davis. They have legislated murder.”

“The Legislature in the state of Florida is on trial over Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis. They have legislated murder.”

This isn’t an uncommon sentiment in the black community. Demonstrating on the courthouse steps on the day of the verdict, Jacksonville mother Latonya Bradley held a sign written on a piece of typing paper that read, “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

She’s afraid for her sons, especially the oldest ones, who are 20 and 16. What mother would want to tell her child the warning she gives hers? “You really mean nothing when you go out. Be careful, mind your business and do your best to stay out of harm’s way.”

Susan Cooper Eastman mail@folioweekly.com

Photo: Dennis Ho

FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7

NEWS BUZZ

Small Victories Here’s some damned good and surprising news: Sometimes you can fight City Hall – or, in this case, the Florida Department of Transportation.

Back in December, you’ll recall, residents and businesses in the Riverside and Avondale areas complained bitterly when FDOT announced a $136 million expansion plan that would make changes to the I-95 and I-10 interchange.

They felt blindsided. This project was nowhere to be seen on FDOT’s five-year plan, and even City Hall was caught unaware, according to Carmen Godwin, executive director of Riverside Avondale Preservation.

That proposed expansion threatened to disrupt the evergrowing neighborhood. Buildings would be torn down.

The Riverside Arts Market would be threatened. The planned dog park wouldn’t happen.

And so, when they had their chance to vent, they did. Last week, some 120 residents showed up at an FDOT forum to express their displeasure – only to learn that FDOT had scaled back the project, at least somewhat, to alleviate their concerns.

FDOT’s slimmed-down proposal, which will clock in around $70 million, won’t impact Riverside quite so much, focusing instead on the parts of the bridge that are above water. Instead of widening the entire bridge, FDOT wants to add lanes by changing the width of current lanes, using part of the inside shoulder.

Construction will begin in 2016 and take two years to complete, FDOT says. (Which, in bureaucratic terms, puts the actual end date somewhere around the dawn of the next century. Hello, migraines.)

RAP isn’t entirely sold. They question the need for the project. (FDOT says the interchange is currently 40,000 cars per day over capacity.) They’d also like to see pedestrian and bike paths. FDOT has said this is impossible – state law prohibits bike lanes along interstates and long bridges. FDOT is both technically correct and utterly lacking imagination.

As our friends at MetroJacksonville.com pointed out earlier this month, while state law does forbid bike lanes that run directly alongside these major arteries, physically separated multi-use paths are not only kosher, but have been constructed along highways all over the state, from Tampa to Ft. Lauderdale to Miami.

And we could do it here, too. We just need the will.

Holes in the Boat

8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014

Speaking of bike lanes, let’s talk for a second about Jacksonville’s 2030 Mobility Plan. First, some background: The city passed the plan in 2011, and it did some really great things. In essence, it levied an impact fee on new development to fund pedestrian and bike lanes (Jacksonville is consistently ranked among the most dangerous cities for bicyclists and walkers) and, just as important, discourage sprawl – the farther out developers go from the urban core, the higher the tax.

Developers howled, and (of course) the City Council listened. That fall, citing the tough real estate climate, the Council waived the development fees for one year – costing the city $3.3 million on 28 projects, hardly the torrent of new construction advocates promised. When that moratorium ended in 2012, the Council phased the fee back in, over a period of 18 months, setting aside money for bike and pedestrian trails at the urging of the Jacksonville Bicycle Pedestrian Advisory Committee and other groups.

And now, the mobility fee is back on the agenda.

Last year, Councilman Richard Clark proposed another three-year moratorium, but that didn’t fly.

Then Councilman Bill Bishop offered a “compromise” that would allow developers to put their mobility fee

toward a “transportation improvement” on their own property, rather than sticking to projects identified in the Mobility Plan itself. That, according to BPAC chairman Christopher Burns, would primarily benefit two major developers with major projects on the horizon – a sprawling residential development from the Davis family (of Winn-Dixie/Dee-Dot Ranch fame) in Southeast Duval, and a ginormous shopping center and apartment complex proposed by Toney Sleiman.

“What about ‘connectivity’ for alternative and multimodal transportation?” Burns wrote in a letter to the City Council. “After all, this was the stated objective in the Mobility Plan. The plan did not have stated objectives about enhancing the development of strip malls and new housing and apartment developments.”

“It’s not designed to get them out of paying cash,” Bishop counters. “It provides another option. Instead of paying money, the developer wants to build something to enhance transportation.”

But there’s the rub: The developer will be enhancing transportation around his own property, not necessarily contributing to the greater good. (Sleiman and the Davis family did not return calls by press time.)

“The problem I have is that if you keep taking money out of the system, you’re never going to be able to move funds to projects that are in the plan,” Stephen Tocknell, a bicycling advocate and former BPAC chairman, told us last month. “It’s another hole in the boat. Eventually the boat’s gonna fall apart.”

That bill has been circulating through Council committees over the last few months, and may go before the Council as early as Feb. 25. If the Council does nothing, the fees will be restored later this year.

On the Air Every radio station’s greatest challenge is reaching listeners.

Since the inception of the University of North Florida’s radio station Spinnaker more than two decades ago, that challenge has been more pronounced.

Limited to online streaming radio and simulcasts on cable channels for most of its existence, the college radio station succeeded in training communications students but not in reaching much of anyone.

That’s about to change. On Feb. 6, the FCC granted UNF a permit to construct a low-power FM transmitter.

Spinnaker Radio will soon be able to broadcast on 95.5 FM via a 100-watt signal, extending the station’s reach 3.5 miles in every direction on a clear day – not quite Clear Channel wattage, but something.

“Before, people had to be logged in on their computers to listen,” says station manager Scott Young.

“Now, all people will have to do is turn on the radio and enjoy the show.”

The university has until early March to pick call letters.

Young expects to have the station broadcasting by August.

“On-campus living has increased tremendously since my time there, and the station will still continue to reach that audience, but now it can also reach the surrounding community,” says Todd Hardie, who founded the station in 1993. “[Three-and-a-half] miles may not seem that far, but it will still get people in for things like baseball games or any other events that they might not have known about otherwise.”

According to Spinnaker media adviser John Timpe, the station wasn’t held back from FCC approval by lack of ambition or noncompliance with FCC standards.

Rather, until last year, there simply wasn’t enough room on the dial.

When the window to apply for the FCC permit rolled around last fall, Spinnaker was surprised to not catch any friction from competitors. “For whatever reason, fewer applied than we thought, and we received no competition for that spot on the dial,” Timpe says. The expected cost of building the transmitter is about $40,000.

“The station has so much potential to grow,” Young says. “The only thing that’s keeping UNF from growing into a more influential community presence, like the University of Florida, was FM transmission capability.”

— Jeffrey C. Billman, Travis Crawford and Ron Word

CRIME CITY

Open Season

Even during the Dunn trial, courthouse security is weak

T

here’s nothing like a marquee murder trial to bring angry litigants, gang hitters, attention-seekers and nut jobs out of the moonshine and into the sunlight. Security was sure to be tight at the Michael Dunn murder trial last week. So, disguised as a doddery senior citizen, I checked it out. I limped through the metal detectors, stumbled upstairs and down, and stuck my nose into offices, jury rooms, courtrooms and bathrooms.

I placed suspicious packages in trash cans and news boxes, carried metal through the magnetometers unchallenged and spent an hour in an ideal sniper hide, ranging targets and pondering how many people a bad guy could kill with a Walmart rifle with a not-sostraight barrel.

I hobbled around the building several times, pushed doors and poked into the unfenced power boxes near Clay Street to figure out how to pop the brass JEA locks, open the doors and blow the juice. Inside, for an hour, I cased the metal detectors from a nearby bench, stared intently at X-ray screens, scrutinized pat-downs and wand scans, and made obvious notes with a bright red pen in a huge black-and-orange folio.

Nobody said squat. To vanish from official scrutiny, it is only necessary to blink frequently and mutter at odd intervals, “What’s the frequency, Kenneth?”

Several months ago, Folio Weekly published a cover story, “Soft Target” [Sept. 11, 2013], in which I concluded that the $112 million a year the city spends on courthouse security is largely wasted, that security fails to meet the minimum standards set by the National Center for State Courts, and that a non-clever killer could easily place a bomb outside the building or carry a handgun inside to blast whichever juror, witness, attorney or judge had annoyed him.

So, with extra guys laid on for the Dunn trial, was security any better?

Nope. Let’s review: 1. Metal detectors. I carry about eight ounces of metal in an artificial knee and always set off the detectors. Not once in the dozens of times I’ve passed security has any employee ever located the metal with a wand. Mostly they assume the beep was caused by a belt buckle. I did get one ankle squeeze.

Yippee.

Many on the staff, employed by a private contractor, are old and obese, physically incapable of bending at the waist and doing a slow, four-sided wand check. This is not a

complex skill. You could teach it to a kid in 10 minutes — or a border collie in five.

2. Patrols. The cops were conducting perimeter patrols. Alas, these were not done on foot, which forces officers to pay attention.

Instead, the patrols buzzed dreamily by in comfy all-terrain vehicles while I figured out how many ball bearings would be required to generate a maniac-pleasing fireball from unsecured power junctions.

Interior patrols of hallways, bathrooms, utility and storage rooms were not happening.

Nobody carried a stick to poke into trash cans to check for nasty surprises. For the most part, the 100 or so armed bailiffs and police leaned on walls, dozed in snug chairs, chatted, texted, Web-surfed and ogled.

The cops had brought on extra staff but had not, apparently, assigned staff members any specific duties. If officers are not patrolling, poking, peering and questioning, they’re just scarecrows.

3. Bomb deterrence. City Hall has antiblast bollards, but the courthouse does not.

And the cops didn’t move the news boxes and didn’t replace pot-metal trash cans with bomb-resistant containers, as recommended by national standards. Instead, they added more cans.

4. Witness protection. There was no security in the jury and witness areas. In my neighborhood, after the Fuller Lane shootings in 2012, the hitters went door to door, reminding people what would happen if they showed at court (bang, bang to the head, small caliber).

5. Sniper hides. Four cops were assigned to the parking garage, but they stood around on the ground floor yakking instead of patrolling.

I stood over their heads planning kill shots.

Recommendations? Cancel the security vendor contract: G4S Security is an international company, but its training and supervision of the local staff who man our metal detectors are FUBAR. And remove the Jacksonville Sheriff ’s Office from courthouse security supervision. Security and police work are different. The city should manage its own security, like the federal government does, or contract out the entire operation to a private security company.

To walk among the throngs at the Dunn circus outside the courthouse was to be reminded that the violent, the foolish and the unhinged are only a step away, In Crime City.

Wes Denham mail@folioweekly.com FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9

Brad Lauretti wants to change the way the world sees Jacksonville, one song at a time.

10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014

rad Lauretti is a hard man to catch, even when he wants you to. Sometimes he even outpaces himself, as he’d done to disastrous effect just days before sitting for questions at Rain Dogs. His body had quit on him.

Brad Lauretti had the flu.

That’s bad enough in any occupation. But when your occupation requires (a) singing and (b) logistics, there’s just nothing you can do. Community outreach can go only so far.

Lauretti is an accomplished musician, best known for his folk duo This Frontier Needs Heroes, but he’s also the founder and CEO of Jacksonville Songwriter Residency, which the 36-year-old spent the last year building.

The Residency’s goal is to lure serious singer-songwriters from around the world to live and work here for a week at a time and, in the process, draw more national attention to the vastness and vibrancy of Northeast Florida’s music scene. Its had a showcase scheduled for Feb. 1, during Community First Saturdays on the Northbank Riverwalk.

His body didn’t cooperate.

Lauretti made the show — you couldn’t keep him away — but he was unable to perform. He was still dragging days later when we talked. His voice was strained and raspy, practically inaudible on playback.

“Residency programs are more common in the visual arts,” he tells me. “A little bit less common are writers’ residencies, for

B

a novelist or poet. Me being a musician, I wanted to create the same thing for songwriters.”

One Spark presented an opportunity.

After unveiling his vision there, he applied for one of the Spark Grants offered by the Cultural Council of Greater Jacksonville.

His was one of four projects selected for the Council’s inaugural round of grants — the others were Jenny Hager’s public art initiative Sculpture Walk, Swamp Jax Radio and the Looking Lab, which seeks to put art into empty storefronts in the Spark District — divvied up from a pool of $60,000.

That district spans about 35 square blocks of Downtown. And right on its edge is the Omni Hotel, where the Residency’s selected songwriters stay for a week, performing in and around the area. But their primary job while here is simply to write.

“When somebody comes and writes a song in a place, the place is intrinsically part of that song, forever,” Lauretti says. “It changes what people think about a city.”

The First Wednesday Art Walk on March 5 will see the project at its most visible yet, inside its host hotel during the re-opening of Juliette’s Bistro Downtown. Its March showcase, the first inside the Omni, is headlined by Woody Pines.

Lauretti came to Jacksonville in what he calls “a very serendipitous way.” Back in 1999, he graduated from New York University with a bachelor’s in philosophy, a degree of which he’s made little use. He traveled, working

FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11

in Austin and San Francisco and setting up “informal residencies” there. He also formed TFNH in 2008 with his sister Jessica, and recorded and toured with that project. “I just kind of have a wandering spirit,” he explains.

TFNH arrived in Jacksonville to play at the former Underbelly in 5 Points. “I was looking for a change,” Lauretti says. “When [Underbelly] opened up the Downtown location, I came to be the resident artist” — a gig that entailed booking, promoting and performing. “I was thinking I was just going to stay for the summer, and that was about it, but everything just fell into place.”

That was two years ago.

What he found here was an opportunity to meet all sorts of bands and play music in all sorts of places. He had a chance to explore Florida. More than that, he saw an opportunity, through both the Residency and his own academic ambitions, to make his

neighborhoods, post-industrial spaces, stuff like that.” (Interestingly, the model he draws from is Liverpool, whose own greatest cultural export arrived in America 50 years ago this month.)

Take Detroit, a city facing extraordinary challenges. “There’s actually a nonprofit up there that is acquiring homes and giving them to writers,” Lauretti says, “because they recognize that artists and writers are creating intellectual property. Culture is such an important component of the economy. It’s always been considered something frivolous and nonessential, but actually cultural events themselves have overtaken tourism as a larger part of the economy. So Jacksonville, or any city, really, if they want to develop, they need to attract creativity, because they increase the quality of life that attracts business growth.”

That leads us back to the Residency.

“When somebody writes a song in a place, the place is intrisically part of that song, forever.”

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corner of Florida a better place to live.

While he’s been developing the Residency, Lauretti has also been remotely finishing his master’s degree at The New School in New York City. His thesis, “Creative Placemaking: How Culture Affects Development,” focuses on how Jacksonville can utilize culture to benefit development on a wider scale.

“Where the market fails, culture comes in,” he explains. “And culture is the only means of development when the market fails. There are cities all around America who are using culture to revitalize

Lauretti points to the words of David Byrne and Patti Smith, legendary songwriters both, who have in recent months effectively declared New York “over” and encouraged artists to stay where they are and build from there.

“Especially for established artists who are already touring and making albums, the whole ‘music scene’ concept is getting more decentralized,” he says. “For artists, it’s not as necessary to go to a big culture-producing city like New York or Nashville or Austin or San Francisco. You can actually live anywhere you want and have access to the same opportunities.”

An outside observer, steeped in the prevailing perceptions of local culture and its broader value, would consider Lauretti’s professional trajectory counterintuitive at best. After all, while seemingly everyone else working in art and/or music is trying to advance northward, to the point that the Big Apple has become as much a vacation spot for Floridians as vice versa, Lauretti ditched the hipster mecca of the known universe to set up shop here.

It was there, in New York, that he co-founded This Frontier Needs Heroes six years ago. And it was from there that the duo evolved, taking on several distinct musical incarnations whose unique approaches to the same basic material results in music that often sounds like they don’t even share the same composers. It was just a two-hour drive from that spot, in Philadelphia, that the siblings’ beautifully arranged, critically acclaimed third album, 2013’s Hooky, was recorded.

Lauretti could, at this point in his career, go anywhere, but instead he chose, and continues to choose, Jacksonville.

The Residency is fully funded through Sept.

30, and Lauretti hopes to expand on it. He’s also presenting a songwriters festival during One Spark 2014, held in mid-April.

“I think I’ve grown quite a lot,” he says.

“It’s been a humbling experience, you know?

It’s hard to move to a new place, any place. I think New York is actually one of the easiest places to move to, in a sense, because it’s so massive. It’s ultra-competitive, but it’s kind of like an open competition.”

Living here hasn’t changed Brad Lauretti’s approach to the art of music, but it has enhanced how he goes about the business.

And the impact of his efforts has already begun to reverberate throughout his old stomping grounds.

“I have friends in New York who are from Jacksonville, and I didn’t even know until I came here,” Lauretti says. “And they’re emailing me, like ‘Why did you move to Jacksonville?

What are you doing down there?’ ”

© 2013

Shelton Hull mail@folioweekly.com

JACKSONVILLE SONGWRITER RESIDENCY PRESENTS: WOODY PINES, FLAGSHIP ROMANCE and MAMA BLUE 6 p.m. March 5, Omni Hotel, Downtown Jacksonville

FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13

Our Picks

SCAN THIS PAGE WITH LAYAR

Reasons to leave the house this week

PLANT PARTY ROOT BALL

“When great trees fall, rocks on distant hills shudder, lions hunker down in tall grasses, and even elephants lumber after safety,” Maya Angelou wrote. Greenscape of Jacksonville looks to grow great trees again with its 27th annual Flowering Tree Sale, offering trees and shrubs starting at $10, with Division of Forestry experts, arborists, Duval County Master Gardeners and more on hand. The seventh annual Root Ball is where tree lovers go to have a good time. Tree sale, 7 a.m.-2 p.m. Feb. 22 (pre-sale for Greenscape members, 3-6 p.m.

Feb. 21, $25 membership dues) at Metro Square Park, Philips Highway. The Root Ball is 6:30 p.m.

Feb. 22 at The Museum, reservations required, 398-5757.

BALLET SWAN LAKE

Directors have interpreted Swan Lake in vastly different ways, from children’s cartoon to psychological thriller. Darren Aronofsky added girlon-girl action with Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis to score a 2011 Best Picture nom in Black Swan.

Don’t expect any of that from this more traditional interpretation of Tchaikovsky’s 19th-century classic story, about a princess turned into a swan by an evil sorcerer’s curse, told through elegant dancing and an engaging musical score. 7 p.m. Feb. 23, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts, Orange Park, $16-$48. Photo: Larissa Pedenchuk

SURE PICK FEB. 25

FAST TALKERS PECHA KUCHA 27

If people say they know how to pronounce Pecha Kucha, don’t believe them. The pronunciations are as creative as the seven fast-talking presenters, who will each show 20 slides and talk for 20 seconds per slide. Think of it like a Ted Talk on speed – creative types gather and share expansive ideas quickly. Pecha Kucha events began in Tokyo and have been held in 700 cities worldwide. At this one, the 27th local incarnation, One Spark executive director Joe Sampson (pictured) will rapidly rhapsodize about growing businesses here. Presenters for the Party, Benefit & Jam event (PB&J, get it?) are writer Jesse Wilson, Performers Academy director Kathryn McAvoy, photographer Paul Figura, Litter Free Planet CEO Cathleen O’Bryan Murphy, sports broadcaster Cole Pepper and nGen Works advisor Carl Smith — expeditious explainers all. 6 p.m. Feb. 25 at Burro Bar, Downtown, free.

HURRAY, BEER! RIVERSIDE CRAFT BEER FESTIVAL

Shake up some tasty craft beer with Grandpa’s Cough Medicine and you get a rollicking good time under the Fuller Warren Bridge. Northeast Florida’s breweries are out in full force, offering more than 60 of their finest consumables. (Challenge accepted.)

Riverside Rotary Club is putting on the festival to fund a track at Stockton Elementary School. Each $2 ticket entitles guests to a 7-ounce pour; VIP guests get an all-you-can-eat lunch from Mojo No. 4. Everyone else has to chow down on food truck delights – helluva consolation prize. Noon-5 p.m.

Feb. 22 at Riverside Arts Market, Riverside, free general admission, $100-$125 VIP.

THEATER WAR HORSE

Last time you heard about a horse on stage was probably when Daniel Radcliffe appeared nude in Equus on Broadway. (Dear local theaters, when can we get that around here?) This horse play is somewhat tamer, but it did famously move Steven Spielberg to tears, leading him to direct the film adaptation that was nominated for Best Picture. The stage production of War Horse hinges completely on whether you believe three puppeteers can make a horse real. If you’re dubious, check out the online vids, especially of Joey the puppet horse interacting with real-life horses. Continues Feb. 19-23 at the T-U Center, Downtown, $32-$82.

LORDS OF MOTOWN THE TEMPTATIONS & THE FOUR TOPS

Glitter-suit dress code, funky moves and tons of soul (and perms to spare) – step aside, boy bands, the road-pavers are back in town. Even if you’re not familiar with The Temptations or The Four Tops, you’re likely still versed in their hits. There’s a reason these Motown legends have endured over the last half-century. It’s their Motown feel, a sound honed sharp in the musical melting pot of the Sixties, an infectious blend of jazz, blues and rock ‘n’ roll that can coax, at the very least, a head nod out of the most inhibited listener. 8 p.m. Feb. 20 at The Florida Theatre, Downtown, $53-$78.50.

14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014

AMERICANA THE CRAZY DAYSIES

The Crazy Daysies are a healthy slice of apple-pie Americana for your ears. The duo – South Carolinaborn sisters Rebecca Day (right) and Jen Thompson – employs the tried-and-true blend of country-music staples: crisp acoustic guitar, soaring viola and a fiery belle with a voice powerful enough to fill every corner of the room. The sisters’ signature sound is clean, simple and heartfelt, evident in their strippeddown cover of Carrie Underwood’s “Blown Away” – there’s not enough wind in Oklahoma to rip that song’s hook out of your head. But don’t mistake them for just another cover band. The Crazy Daysies’ debut studio EP, out later this month, includes three original songs and one cover. 7:30 p.m. Feb. 21 at North Beach Bistro, Atlantic Beach; 7:30 p.m. Feb. 27 at Wipeouts Grill, Neptune Beach; and 9 p.m. Feb. 28 at Seven Bridges, Southside.

FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15

SPORTSTALK

Michael Sam and the Storm

How the NFL reacts to its first openly gay prospect will speak volumes

A

16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014

s we approach the NFL Scouting Combine and Draft, all the talk has shifted from the top-shelf players — Jadeveon Clowney, Teddy Bridgewater, Johnny Manziel — to a player projected to be a mid-rounder just a couple weeks ago: University of Missouri defensive end Michael Sam, who rocked the testosterone-fueled pigskin world by announcing earlier this month that he’s gay.

The All-American and Southeastern Conference co-defensive player of the year, Sam was vital to his squad. He was also a rarity — a player known to be gay by teammates who protected his secret and valued his play regardless.

Sam reportedly wanted to come out before the Senior Bowl in January, but his agent talked him down. Sam then planned to come out sometime between that game and the combine in May, but reporters started approaching him with pointed questions about his dating life, in effect pressing the issue.

So Sam announced. A shitstorm ensued.

Peter King of Sports Illustrated posted an article full of on-background sources claiming that coming out would damage Sam’s draft stock.

This quote, from an unnamed general manager, seems the most salient: “The question you will ask yourself, knowing your team, is, ‘How will drafting him affect your locker room?’ And I am sorry to say where we are at this point in time, I think it’s going to affect most locker rooms. A lot of guys will be uncomfortable. Ten years from now, fine. But today, I think being openly gay is a factor in the locker room.”

Some Jaguars would disagree. Uche Nwaneri staked out this rather evolved position to ESPN: “I would welcome a gay teammate same as any other. Something about team sports really transcends color and orientation. In between the lines, it’s all football. Purest form of it. I don’t know how it will play out in specific locker rooms around the league, but I know that as adults and professionals, the only thing that should matter is the game and the team.”

Tyson Alualu — the first-round DE whose future here isn’t too secure as it is — tweeted that he could play with Sam, and that “if he’s

a good player and the best available when the Jaguars pick, I think they’ll take him.”

(Other players I contacted declined to comment.)

Maybe Nwaneri and Alualu are right.

Certainly, there have been gay Jags before this. Esera Tuaolo had a cup of coffee with the franchise in the 1990s; he outed himself after his playing days were over. Likewise, there were persistent rumors about a certain wideout during the expansion year.

Speaking of wideouts from the old days, I asked Jimmy Smith what he thought about the Jags drafting Sam. He didn’t equivocate. “No,” said Smith. “I heard he didn’t perform well at the Senior Bowl.”

Of course, that Senior Bowl performance might have been marred by the off-field drama. And really, how much stock can we put

“Something about team sports really transcends color and orientation. In between the lines, it’s all football.” in the Senior Bowl when it comes to predicting a player’s pro stock? The bigger strike against Sam is that most of his production last year came against a punchless Florida offense and other Weak Sisters of the SEC. In any event, Smith is more worried about what Sam does on the field than off — and that’s a good thing for the sport.

The NFL, and its approach to human resource management, is always going to be a balancing act, in which the inevitable evolution of social mores is weighed against the inertia of tradition and fear of disruption.

The players will always be ahead of the curve in a way the larger organization won’t. The case of Michael Sam will illustrate just how far ahead — or behind — the curve the locker rooms and GM offices really are.

AG Gancarski twitter/aggancarski mail@folioweekly.com

A&E // MOVIES

MAGIC LANTERNS

We Belong Dead

M

y brain utterly benumbed by a recent viewing of I, Frankenstein, which stars Aaron Eckhart as a buffed-up version of the famous monster, this time on the side of the angels (literally) and battling demons from hell, I began to wonder how the iconic Hollywood creature could have fallen to such depths. On the bright side, I was also able to recall the heights to which he once soared.

Aside from a few short silent turns, the celluloid Frankenstein premiered in the sound era in 1931, some 10 months after Universal Studios hit a gold mine with Dracula. Boris Karloff reprised his role as the creature in only two sequels (1935 and 1939), but Universal kept cranking them out in the 1940s, five in all, with the creature played by different actors, including Bela Lugosi. The last Universal effort (and one of the best) had the poor, abused monster meeting Abbott & Costello.

From the ’50s through the early ’70s, England’s Hammer Studios resurrected Frankenstein in a variety of shapes and forms in seven films, with the creature portrayed by nearly everyone from Christopher Lee in Curse of Frankenstein to Playmate Susan Denberg (Miss August ’66, for the record) in Frankenstein Created Woman. (What do you expect? It was the ’60s.)

Since then, Frankenstein has fallen afoul of various film creators, from Andy Warhol (gory and ridiculous) to Roger Corman (Frankenstein Unbound) to Kenneth Branagh (operatic and over-the-top). It says something about the basic appeal and premise of Mary Shelley’s 1818 novel — the first serious work of science fiction as well as a complex tale of horror, philosophy and theology — that the movies keep trying to get it right and keep it relevant for generations of moviegoers.

Nonetheless, the first two films remain the best for several reasons: the imaginative, oftimitated production design, James Whale’s incisive and intelligent direction and Karloff ’s unmatched portrayal of the monster as both menacing and tragic. The first scene in which Karloff makes his entrance capsulizes these dual qualities that he alone (despite the later efforts of Robert De Niro and many others in the same role) managed to effect. In the bowels of the castle, the rapid cuts of the camera highlight his menace even as his efforts to touch the sunlight underline his tragedy. The same holds true in the now-classic, once-controversial scene in which he unintentionally kills the young girl who befriends him. Karloff ’s last words as the creature in the 1935 sequel, before destroying himself and his misbegotten bride, define the utter alienation of these monstrous children of the scientific revolution — “We belong dead!”

In what may be the greatest Spanish film ever, Victor Erice’s The Spirit of the Beehive (1973), a little girl’s fascination with the Frankenstein creature, gleaned from a screening of the 1931 film in her small village during the Spanish Civil War, stands as a metaphor for the tragic alienation and loneliness of childhood as well as the devastation of a nation.

Dreamt into being in the early 1800s by a 21-year-old female writer, Dr. Frankenstein and his tragic, terrifying creature have never been better served than in their first two major films from the early 20th century.

Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com

An Accidental Masterpiece

‘The Citizen Kane of bad movies’ comes to Sun-Ray just as James Franco options another incarnation of the story THE ROOM WITH GREG SESTERO Sestero reads from The Disaster Artist; a Q&A follows, 7 p.m.; The Room screens 9:20 p.m. Feb. 22 Sun-Ray Cinema, 1028 Park St., 5 Points, $10 for the film; $15 for Disaster Artist and The Room double feature; 359-0049, sunraycinema.com

C

ult classic The Room perches at the top of a heap of movies so terrible that somehow everything that’s wrong with it becomes so, so right. Often referred to as “the Citizen Kane of bad movies,” the term “awesomely bad” might have been invented for its IMDB description.

Starring Tommy Wiseau and Greg Sestero, as unlikely a duo as Ryan Gosling and a wax statue of Danny DeVito, The Room has been described as a romantic drama filmed by deer, “like getting stabbed in the head” and as the greatest movie of all time. Somehow the indecipherable plotline, awful dialogue and atrocious performances come together to create a hysterical romp known to inspire catatonic euphoria.

Sestero appears at Sun-Ray Cinema on Feb. 22 to read from a book he co-wrote with Tom Bissell in which he chronicles the making of The Room and his unlikely friendship with Wiseau.

The Disaster Artist: My Life Inside The Room, the Greatest Bad Movie of All Time follows the two from their first meeting in an acting class in the summer of 1998 to the movie’s premiere in 2003. In addition to the reading and the film’s screening, Sestero will also screen a short documentary on the making of the film (which includes a clip of Tommy Wiseau as Hamlet), conduct a 30-minute live script reading with the audience and hold a short Q&A session.

In the book, Sestero becomes fascinated

by Wiseau, a self-described native Louisiana Cajun who speaks with a European accent that he can’t quite place, and appears far, far older than he claims to be.

When Wiseau does a reading of a bit of Shakespeare, Sestero writes, “Everything he said was obviously the product of diligent mismemorization, totally divorced from the emotion the words were trying to communicate.

He was terrible, reckless and mesmerizing.”

Anyone who has seen The Room can agree this is a spot-on description of all Wiseau’s acting.

Bonded by their shared desire for fame, they form a fast, tumultuous friendship that defies the laws of human relationships.

Sestero — a handsome, all-American type — acknowledges that they more closely resemble

arch-nemeses than best friends. It would be easy to write off their friendship as a lark but for Sestero’s undeniable affection for Wiseau that still persists.

“He’s incredibly funny, in a way that’s unique, in that there is no one out there like him in the way he interprets the world,” Sestero says.

In the beginning, Wiseau is Sestero’s biggest champion, letting him live in his Los Angeles apartment rent-free and encouraging him to chase his dreams, but, eventually, he’s overcome by jealousy and resentment. In his mind, Sestero’s small successes are no less than a betrayal of their friendship. Rejected by Hollywood, Wiseau eventually writes The Room script and decides to make the movie, which he stars in, directs, produces and funds from a seemingly endless supply of money.

“I would have never expected anyone to ever see the movie.”

Erroneously assuming that the film will immediately pass into the void, Sestero lets himself be roped into playing Mark, literally the day before filming begins. “It was more of a joke, more of a home movie for Tommy,” Sestero says. “I would have never expected anyone to ever see the movie.”

It’s impossible not to laugh out loud as mutinies and the fury of the cast and crew somehow escape Wiseau’s concern (though he’s secretly filming and watching everything that occurs on set, footage that’s used in Sestero’s making-of documentary).

However mysterious, maddening and inscrutable he can be, Wiseau also comes across as vulnerable, innocent and sweetnatured. “That was the goal … to show the human side of the story,” Sestero says.

It wasn’t until 2008 that Sestero learned of the film’s implausible success, which he calls “an accidental masterpiece.” Since its 2003 premiere, The Room has been taught in film schools and inspired audience rituals, and today counts many of the Hollywood elite among its fans. A rumor on the Internet is that a film starring two such fans, James Franco and Seth Rogen, based on The Disaster Artist is in the works. Sestero wouldn’t confirm that delicious possibility during our interview, but Deadline later reported that Franco had acquired the film rights.

Claire Goforth mail@folioweekly.com FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17

A&E // MOVIES The Indian action/thriller is about the chaotic Calcutta of the ’70s. In Hindi and Bengali. Co-stars Ranveer Singh , Arjun Kapoor, Priyanka Chopra and Irrfan Khan.

THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG ***@ Rated PG-13 Co-writer and director Peter Jackson has stretched J.R.R. Tolkien’s books into lucrative movies and made stars of the cast members, including Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage, Orlando Bloom, Evangeline Lilly, Luke Evans and Ian McKellen. Then there’s the titular Smaug (voiced by Benedict Cumberbatch), a villainous fire-breathing dragon who lays claim to Bilbo’s homeland. The film sings with vibrant colors and stunning images.

THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE ***G Rated PG-13 In Part 2 of the trilogy, Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) is a celebrity warrior hero manipulated by the Capitol’s leader Snow (Donald Sutherland). There’s revolution in the air due to her win at the Games. Co-stars Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, Woody Harrelson, Stanley Tucci, Willow Shields (Will and Jada’s daughter) and Jack Quaid (Dennis and Meg’s son).

I, FRANKENSTEIN Rated PG-13 The doctor’s creation is in the middle of a violent struggle between two immortal clans. So … not a fight to death, then. Co-stars Aaron Eckhart, Bill Nighy and Miranda Otto.

JACK RYAN: SHADOW RECRUIT Rated PG-13 Chris Pine stars as the young Ryan, just starting out on his CIA career. Co-stars Kevin Costner, Keira Knightley and Kenneth Branagh.

PRIVACY IS OVER: The documentary Terms and Conditions May Apply examines what data you’re handing over to corporations and the government, what they do with it and what you can to protect your online privacy (maybe nothing). The film is the first in a series, presented by University of North Florida’s Department of Communication, and screens Feb. 25 at Sun-Ray Cinema in 5 Points. After the film, UNF Assistant Professor Peter Casella leads a discussion. Photo: Variance Films

**** ***@ **@@ *@@@

FILM RATINGS

HOUSE OF CARDS WEST WING SCANDAL COMMANDER IN CHIEF

OTHER FILMS

THE DISASTER ARTIST Greg Sestero, who starred in The Room, reads from his new book, leads the audience in a live script reading and introduces the film, Feb. 22 at Sun-Ray Cinema, 1028 Park St., Five Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. Call for times and admission prices.

OSCAR SHORTS Oscar-nominated live action and animated shorts, plus two documentaries, are screened through Feb. 20 at Sun-Ray Cinema, Five Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema. com. Locavore Cinema, featuring local fi lmmakers, is screened 7 p.m. Feb. 20; call for admission prices. The film-screening tribute to the late Philip Seymour Hoffman is held Feb. 27; call for times and admission prices.

DIVIDED WE FALL The documentary, about a college student who travels across America to determine who counts as “one of us” in a world perceived as divided into an “us” versus “them” society, is screened 8 p.m. Feb. 27 at University of North Florida’s Student Union Auditorium, 1 UNF Drive, Southside, 620-5715, unf.edu/interfaith-center.

3 DAYS TO KILL Rated PG-13 • Opens Feb. 21 Kevin Costner, who’s suddenly everywhere we look these days, plays a terminally ill Secret Service agent who’s got one last chance to live if he takes a new drug … and goes on a final top-secret mission. Hmmm – life-saving drug vs killing another human being? Toss me that Glock.

ABOUT LAST NIGHT Rated R One-night stands may be fun, but this bunch of beautiful young devil-may-care people takes the practice to the next level. Co-stars the quite amusing Kevin Hart, Michael Ealy, Regina Hall and Joy Bryant.

AMERICAN HUSTLE **G@ Rated R Writer-director David O. Russell has fashioned a beautiful, cinematic junk heap that’s likeable and engaging despite its overly long running time, sloppy screenplay and rambling structure. For professional scam artist Irving Rosenfeld (Christian Bale, with the best comb-over we’ve seen in years), working with the Feds is tougher than running cons.

He’s helping the FBI (Bradley Cooper) nab public officials on the take in the infamous Abscam operation. Co-stars Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence.

LATITUDE 30 MOVIES The Hobbit 2 and Walking with Dinosaurs are screened at Latitude 30’s CineGrille Theater, 10370 Philips Highway, Southside. 365-5555.

WORLD GOLF HALL OF FAME IMAX THEATER We the People, Great White Shark 3D, Tornado Alley 3D and To The Arctic 3D run at World Golf Hall of Fame Village IMAX Theater, 1 World Golf Place, St. Augustine, 940-IMAX, worldgolfimax.com.

NOW SHOWING

12 YEARS A SLAVE **** Rated R Chiwetel Ejiofor is great in the powerful fi lm based on real events. He plays Solomon, a free black man in pre-Civil War New York who’s abducted, then sold into slavery for 12 cruel years. He meets a Canadian abolitionist and hopes his misery is over. Co-stars Brad Pitt, Michael Fassbender and Quvenzhané Wallis.

18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014

which causes everyone around him, including his girlfriend, to question their definition of friendship.

ENDLESS LOVE Rated PG-13 Didn’t we just do this? Young, mismatched, lovestruck kids try to stay together when their mean old parents try to split them apart. Co-stars Gabriella Wilde, Alex Pettyfer and Bruce Greenwood. What, no Brooke Shields cameo?

FROZEN ***G Rated PG Disney’s animated feature about sisters Princess Anna (Kristen Bell) and Queen Elsa (Idina Menzel), in this Golden Globe-winner. And hey, parents, check out details for the sing-along at some theaters.

GIMME SHELTER Rated PG-13 Vanessa Hudgens plays Agnes Bailey, pregnant and on the streets when her parents reject her. Thank God she meets a kind stranger. Co-stars Rosario Dawson, Brendan Fraser and James Earl Jones.

GRAVITY **** Rated PG-13 The out-of-this-world survival story from director Alfonso Cuaron stars Sandra Bullock as medical engineer Ryan Stone and George Clooney as experienced astronaut Matt Kowalsky. While outside the ship making repairs, communication with Houston is severed. They’re left tethered together, floating 375 miles above the Earth. How will they survive?

GUNDAY Not Rated

LABOR DAY *G@@ Rated PG-13 Kate Winslet is Adele, a depressed single mother, raising her earnest teenage son Henry (newcomer Gattlin Griffi th).

Adele and Henry are taken hostage by Frank Chambers (Josh Brolin), a wounded escaped killer. The kindly kidnapper does some home repairs, changes Adele’s oil (literally and euphemistically), teaches Henry to play catch – what a nice bad guy. Who in their right mind picks up a hitchhiker these days? The drama co-stars Josh Brolin, Tobey Maguire, James (Dawson!) Van Der Beek.

THE LEGO MOVIE ***@ Rated PG Writers and directors Chris Miller and Phillip Lord’s entertaining, subversive animated feature about colorful toy bricks co-stars the vocal talents of Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Will Arnett, Chris Pratt and Will Ferrell.

LONE SURVIVOR Rated R Mark Wahlberg stars in this action/bio/drama based on actual events of a failed SEAL team mission in 2005. Costars Emile Hirsch and Taylor “Friday Night Lights” Kitsch, an actor we’ve always thought deserved another shot after his failed mission as “John Carter.”

AREA THEATERS AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY ***@ Rated R The cast of director John Wells’ adaptation of Tracy Letts’ Pulitzer-winning story includes Meryl Streep as Violet, crusty matriarch of a family falling apart; Julia Roberts is her soon-to-be-crusty daughter Barbara. Margo Martindale as Violet’s sister and Chris Cooper as her brother-in-law stand out.

DATE AND SWITCH Rated R Two high school dudes vow to lose their virginity before prom. One of the dudes, however, comes out of the closet

AMELIA ISLAND Carmike 7, 1132 S. 14th St., Fernandina Beach, 261-9867 ARLINGTON & REGENCY AMC Regency 24, 9451 Regency Square Blvd., 264-3888 BAYMEADOWS & MANDARIN Regal Avenues 20, 9525 Philips Highway, 538-3889 BEACHES Regal Beach Blvd. 18, 14051 Beach Blvd., 992-4398 FIVE POINTS Sun-Ray Cinema@5Points, 1028 Park St., 359-0047 GREEN COVE SPRINGS Clay Theatre, 326 Walnut St., 284-9012 NORTHSIDE Regal River City 14, River City Marketplace, 12884 City Center Blvd., 757-9880

ORANGE PARK AMC Orange Park 24, 1910 Wells Road, (888) AMC-4FUN Carmike 12, 1820 Town Center Blvd., Fleming Island, 621-0221 SAN MARCO San Marco Theatre, 1996 San Marco Blvd., 396-4845 SOUTHSIDE Cinemark Tinseltown, 4535 Southside Blvd., 998-2122 ST. AUGUSTINE Epic Theatres, 112 Theatre Drive, 797-5757 IMAX Theater, World Golf Village, 940-IMAX Pot Belly’s, 36 Granada St., 829-3101

A&E // MOVIES

Advertising proo

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT Rated R Zac Efron, Michael B. Jordan and Miles Teller have hit that juncture where you either step up and commit … or not.

VAMPIRE ACADEMY Rated PG-13 Seriously? Hot girls in school uniforms, sucking blood?

Co-stars Gabriel Byrne, who ought to know better, and Joely Richardson, who’s a goddamn Redgrave fer chrissake, plus promise of benefit Zoey Deutch and Lucy Fry.

this is a copyright protected proo

For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn dAte: 053111 FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655

THE MONUMENTS MEN Rated PG-13 George Clooney directs and stars in this fact-based film about a group of un-soldier types – think the opposite of The Dirty Dozen – museum curators, historians and art experts who go into enemy territory during WWII to save thousands of stolen masterpieces from destruction by the Nazis. Co-stars Matt Damon, Bill Murray, John Goodman and the adorable Bob Balaban.

NEBRASKA ***G Rated R Cantankerous Woody Grant (Bruce Dern, getting longoverdue Oscar buzz) gets a piece of junk mail declaring him the winner of $1 million, so he convinces David (Will Forte) – the son who’s never quite synched with his old man – to drive him to Lincoln, Nebraska, to claim the prize. Co-stars Stacy Keach, June Squibb and Bob Odenkirk.

Produced by ab Checked by

Sales

THE WOLF OF WALL STREET ***G Rated R Hotshot young stockbroker Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio) has a mansion, yacht, private jet, cars, a steady supply of cocaine and everything else money can buy. Debauchery isn’t a habit for him; it’s a way of life. It’s the late ’80s, so anything goes. Co-stars Jonah Hill, Rob Reiner, Margot Robbie, Jon Favreau, Kyle Chandler and Matthew McConaughey.

NEW ON DVD

THE NUT JOB Rated PG Will Arnett voices Surly, a rebellious squirrel banned from the park to roam the mean city streets. He plans his revenge: raid the nut store. Co-stars the vocal cords of Brendan Fraser, Katherine Heigl and Jeff Dunham.

PHILOMENA **** Rated PG-13 Journalist Martin (Steve Coogan) needs to boost his career.

Philomena (Dame Judi Dench) wants to find the son she gave up for adoption, forced by not-so-holy nuns decades earlier. Stephen Frears directed.

THE BEST MAN HOLIDAY **G@ Rated R This comedy, about a group of college friends reuniting after 15 years, has the best-looking cast we’ve ever seen.

Really: Monica Calhoun, Morris Chestnut, Melissa De Sousa, Taye Diggs, Regina Hall, Terrance Howard, Sanaa Lathan, Nia Long, Eddie Cibrian and Atif Lanier. ’Nuff said.

POMPEII Rated PG-13 • Opens Feb. 21 I did a fifth-grade report on Mt. Vesuvius and the devastating volcanic eruption that wiped out a whole civilization. Shoulda waited for the movie, co-starring Dylan Schombing, Rebecca Eady and Kiefer Wish-I-still-playedJack-Bauer Sutherland.

THE COUNSELOR **@@ Rated R Hoping to make a one-time deal to secure a financial future, a lawyer (Michael Fassbender) gets into drug trafficking world and learns it’s hard to leave. Javier Bardem, Penélope Cruz, Cameron Diaz and Brad Pitt co-star. Directed by Ridley Scott, “The Counselor” is the screenwriting debut of Pulitzer Prize-winning author Cormack McCarthy (“The Road”).

ROBOCOP *@@@ Rated PG-13 Reviewed in this issue.

Ask for Action

WINTER’S TALE Rated PG-13 A petty yet hot thief burgles a mansion and encounters a young woman who’s sickly yet hot. Somehow they become intertwined for life and beyond. Or before. It’s kinda iffy.

Co-stars Colin Farrell and Jessica Brown Findlay, and Oscar-winners Russell Crowe and William Hurt, who must be wondering what the hell their agents are on.

ALL IS LOST ***G Rated PG-13 When his 39-foot yacht collides with a shipping container in the Indian Ocean, a man sailing alone (Robert Redford, in an Oscar-worthy performance) is knocked out. He wakes up and sees his vessel is taking on water. Unable to contact the outside world, he sails into a violent storm with nothing but his strength and mariner’s intuition.

RIDE ALONG Rated PG-13 Kevin Hart is a smart-mouthed security guard engaged to Angela (Tika Sumpter) whose brother James (Ice Cube) is a cop. Co-stars John Leguizamo and Jay Pharoah.

sUpport

DALLAS BUYERS CLUB ***G Rated R The drama, based on a true story, is sparking serious Oscar talk for stars Matthew McConaughey, who plays redneck electrician Ron, and Jared Leto, who plays transvestite Rayon in Dallas, 1985. Ron is shocked when he learns he’s HIV-positive, with only one month to live. He’s even more stunned to find out the drugs that might save his life aren’t for sale in the U.S. Co-stars Jennifer Garner, Steve Zahn and Griffin Dunne.

© 2011

FIRE AND BRIMSTONE: Milo (Kit Harington) smolders, but Mount Vesuvius does more than blow smoke in Pompeii.

FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19

Fo

A&E // MOVIES

Photo: Sony Pictures

Cop Out

Imagine how bad you think it is. It’s worse ROBOCOP *@@@

Rated PG-13

N

20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014

ear the end of this dreadful RoboCop remake, there’s a piece of dialogue that defines the whole thing. Samuel L. Jackson unleashes his umpteenth diatribe as right-wing TV host Pat Novak, and drops a motherf***** that’s actually bleeped out. That’s the king of the MF-bomb being censored (a misplaced attempt at irony) for the sake of a PG-13 remake. And that tells you everything you need to know.

Moviegoers risking a reboot of the 1987 cult classic deserved better than this — 108 minutes of blah action and half-measures.

RoboCop hints at deeper ideas: the illusion of free will, the threat of a robot dystopia, the conflict of security versus freedom. But it never commits to any of these or any other. Instead, it commits to RoboCop looking cool on a motorcycle. That’s it.

The truth is, he doesn’t even look that cool — not Dark Knight on the Batpod cool.

(Note: For part of the film, this RoboCop does wear black.)

As in the original, Detroit detective Alex J. Murphy (played here by Joel Kinnaman) is critically wounded and then he’s resurrected, as a 10-percent-man, 90-percent-machine hero. He struggles with emotion and reconnecting with his family, thanks to the work of Dr. Dennett Norton (Gary Oldman), and endures flashbacks of his own violent near-death.

The remake wastes big-name talent in Jackson, Oldman, Michael Keaton and others.

Hell, RoboCop will stand as an embarrassment to Jay Baruchel’s oeuvre.

We can forgive Kinnaman for acting like a cyborg. As it happens, nearly every actor in the film plays it similarly, but most of the blame falls on director José Padilha and writer Joshua Zetumer. They’ve constructed a world in 2028 that’s lifeless and not at all imaginative.

Director Paul Verhoeven’s original wasn’t perfect, and the effects have not aged well, but

his film had energy, satire and humanity under a cyborg shell.

The remake has all the subtlety of a nuclear bomb, in which the cast is forced to utter lines like “What’s more important than the safety of the American people?” and “No red assets have ever been lost.” It’s largely humorless, certainly wary of Verhoeven’s camp. When it goes for emotion, it’s manipulative, as in a scene with RoboCop returning to his wife Clara (Abbie Cornish) and son David (John Paul Ruttan) for the first time since his resurrection.

There are a few bright spots. The deadline to have RoboCop ready is amusingly treated like the iPhone 6 release.

And in one scene (and only one scene), the filmmakers truly went for broke: Alex asks to see his bodily remains under the suit and Dr. Norton obliges without hesitation.

What’s left of him amounts to much less than anyone could have imagined, displayed gruesomely for Alex and the audience.

Nearly everyone in the preview screening shifted uncomfortably.

The truth is, he doesn’t even look that cool — not Dark Knight on the Batpod cool.

Unfortunately, the filmmakers didn’t go all-in enough.

Oldman has the most character on which to chew as the conflicted doctor, but even the Oscar-nominated actor isn’t given much to work with. Raymond Sellars (Keaton), the owner of OmniCorp, is the one pushing the doctor to get RoboCop ready for the public.

“People don’t know what they want until you show them,” Raymond assures him.

That’s probably what RoboCop’s producers were thinking.

David Johnson djohnson@folioweekly.com

A&E // MUSIC

Beyond Troubled Water

Four years after nearly losing his voice, Art Garfunkel and his golden tenor fly again ART GARFUNKEL 8 p.m. Feb. 28, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, Ponte Vedra Beach, 209-0399, pvconcerthall.com

F

orget having one of pop culture’s most abused names, one of its most epic white-guy Afros, one of its purest singing voices. Art Garfunkel is also one of American music’s most complex characters.

Born to first-generation Romanian Jewish parents, Garfunkel discovered his voice in a stairwell at 5 years old.

He sang for more than four hours at his own bar mitzvah. He met Paul Simon during a middle school staging of Alice in Wonderland — he was the mellow Cheshire Cat, Simon the fussy White Rabbit. In college, he was a fraternity brother and ace tennis player, skier, fencer and bowler. At the height of Simon & Garfunkel’s fame in the 1960s, he earned a master’s degree — and nearly a doctorate — in mathematics.

The credits continue: Garfunkel has walked solo across Japan, the United States and Europe. He maintains a list of every book he’s read since 1968. He turned his back on a successful 20-year musical collaboration with Simon in 1970 to pursue an acting career, earning a Golden Globe nomination for the second role he’d ever had. He’s one of the most literate public figures in American life, describing himself to Esquire in 2011 as the “silvery edge around Paul Simon’s coffee-brown lead front part,” a description that even Lester Bangs could never have dreamed up.

It’s hard to imagine now, what with a Lifetime Achievement Grammy and nine No. 1 hits and countless sold-out reunion tours under their belts, but Simon & Garfunkel were far from an instant hit. They wrote Everly Brothers-inspired novelty hits like “Hey, Schoolgirl,” recorded mediocre solo material under bogus pseudonyms (Artie Garr and True Taylor), and both went to college immediately after high school — Simon to Queens College and Garfunkel to Columbia University.

Even Simon & Garfunkel’s first big break didn’t quite pan out. Columbia Records legendary star-maker Clive Davis signed them in 1964, insisting they adopt their real names to release the debut album Wednesday Morning, 3 AM. But, in the wake of Beatlemania, the record was a flop — Simon even disembarked for England in 1965 to have a go at the folk music club/ coffeehouse/college campus circuit.

Belying Florida’s standby reputation as a black hole of musical tastes, however, Wednesday Morning’s lead single, “The Sounds of Silence,” was getting a lot of requests at radio stations in Cocoa Beach and Gainesville. Without Simon’s or Garfunkel’s consent, Columbia producer Tom Wilson corralled the studio band that had worked on Bob Dylan’s Like a Rolling Stone, dubbed electric instrumentation over the originally sparse folkie track, and

catapulted the song to No. 1 on the Billboard charts on Jan. 1, 1966 — giving birth to mainstream folk-rock, and a new and improved Simon & Garfunkel in the process.

The old friends quickly reunited and poured all their energy into an impressive five-year run. From 1966-1970, they released four critically acclaimed, multiplatinum-selling albums; scored two more No. 1 singles; won eight Grammys; and redefined the zeitgeist with catchy, sonically complex hits like “Mrs. Robinson,” “I Am a Rock” and “Bridge Over Troubled

continents, Garfunkel periodically released unheralded albums of pop standards and offbeat originals.

But Simon & Garfunkel looked to have new legs in 2010, when a full reunion tour was booked. Garfunkel came down with vocal-cord paresis, however, related to giving up cigarettes after 50 years as a smoker. Predictably, the world mourned the possible loss of one of our most beloved voices — especially after Garfunkel announced in 2012 that he was healed, only to cancel another run of solo dates.

“The voice is back. I’m in flight again.

I believe I have grown through adversity.”

Water.” But interpersonal tension — perfectly encapsulated by the much-taller Garfunkel appearing half-hidden and scowling behind a smiling Simon on the cover of Bridge Over Troubled Water, their last album and magnum opus — quickly tore the duo asunder.

Simon went on to have an unimpeachable solo career, while Garfunkel seemed to recede into the shadows. The duo did reunite for one-off concerts in 1972, 1975 and 1981, attracting more than 500,000 fans to Central Park in ’81. They even recorded a new album together in 1983, but old fires flared up and Simon stripped away all of Garfunkel’s contributions and released the songs solo.

That backstabbing turn of events, coupled with the suicide of Garfunkel’s longtime girlfriend in 1979 and the death of his father in 1985, drove Art further into seclusion. In between raising a family, writing poetry and trekking across

Lucky for us, the man with the golden tenor is back in 2014. He played a few intimate warm-up shows, complete with storytelling sessions and audience Q&As, in December. And he arrives in Florida with 10-plus recent dates to his credit.

“The voice is back,” Garfunkel said in a press statement. “I’m in flight again. I believe I have grown through adversity.

A new creation has emerged that is truly exciting me — my stage show.”

Will the eternal perfectionist be pleased with what he hears, though? “I’m a mathematician who’s anal-compulsive,” Garfunkel told Esquire in 2011. “[I’m] a man whose ears demand beautiful pitch and beautiful singing. To me, singing is execution. You don’t throw out what you’ve learned to execute. You refine what you’ve learned. … Find the inner beauty within and keep going. Live to refine.”

Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com

FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 21

A&E // MUSIC

Poverty Funk

Askmeificare is taking over the world, like it or not ASKMEIFICARE, SAMURAI SHOTGUN, WHISKEY FACE, DEAF TO THE INDUSTRY, MOSBY CLIQUE 8 p.m. Feb. 26, Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $15, 398-7496, jaxlive.com

T

22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014

he band’s name is a challenge, a dare.

We’re a sucker for a good dare.

When Folio Weekly sat down with the punk-rap group, Raw — the frontman, real name Jamal Oakes — tossed his knotted dreadlocks, ran his tongue over his golden teeth and explained, “It’s not that we don’t care about anything. Ask us our opinion, ask us what we think. We’re going to do what we want, and if you don’t like it, well, ask me if I care.”

Their sound is as uncomplicated and unapologetic as their attitude. With only a drummer, bassist and rapper, Askmeificare has churned out several thumping anthems in the past year. It’s a sound borne of necessity as much as ingenuity.

“We’re poverty funk,” drummer Joe Rocher says. “We can’t afford other instruments.”

And so their music is dense, charged and heavy, like punk-rock syrup pouring from your speakers and melting your ears like butter.

“When we started, we couldn’t find a bass player,” JLee Lassiter says. “So, I said ‘fuck it’ and picked up the bass. When I heard the distortion and feedback, I loved it.”

The members formed an unlikely trio spawned, like many dubious things, from a Craigslist ad. Jam sessions followed, and soon all hell broke loose. They’ll tell you that the only thing they agree on is a mutual love for coitus and Moon River Pizza.

Armed with songs like “So We Fight,” “Wiped Out” and “S.L.U.T.,” they’ve rampaged every stage possible in Northeast Florida, becoming one of the hardest-working local bands out there.

“The bands in this scene are like ducks in a row,” says Raw. “It’s too safe. No one wants to shake it up.”

Askmeificare is the antithesis of the shiny, heavily produced pop acts that put Jacksonville on the map (we’re looking at you, Yellowcard).

The bandmembers’ hunger to be heard has landed them on festival stages, where loyal fans, branded with the band’s question mark logo, swarmed and moshed, feeding the band’s merciless ambition — and cocksure swagger. What they lack in polish they make up for in willpower.

“When we came out at first, no one was there for us,” Raw says. “Every show, we were building that fan base. We pull people in and they get hooked. We like that. That’s how music should be.”

Rocher agrees. “We’re like dope dealers out here. Making it one deal at a time.”

At their core, there’s a refusal to be marginalized, to be commoditized or packaged into one neat category or another.

They also don’t like to follow rules.

This led to antics like crashing First Wednesday Art Walk last year. The guys brought their equipment and a PA system into the crowd and began blasting out music and taunting the cops. They couldn’t be bothered with things like application fees, wristbands and the other accouterments necessary for a performance to be approved.

“It’s too safe.

No one wants to shake it up.”

“We have music people need to hear to better their lives,” Raw says.

You might call that arrogant. They’d call it punk.

True to that genre, Askmeificare’s songs run the message gamut from getting wasted to political injustice. Raw says that if they sing about sluts, they’re really talking about relationships. If the lyrics are about getting wasted, the real message is about the dangers of a reckless lifestyle.

(Could have fooled us.)

“For us, it’s about putting on a good show and getting people involved,” Lassiter says. “We want our shows to have a good atmosphere for the fans.”

But that isn’t enough. Askmeificare wants to be more than just your buddy. They won’t settle for less than the world. The timeline looks something like this: 2013: Blow up the Jacksonville scene.

2014: Take the show on the road across Florida.

2015: Embark on their first national tour.

2016: God help the rest of the world.

“We want to go further, faster,” Rocher said.

“We’re not trying to be only a local band in four years. We want to get to the masses.”

Those poor, unsuspecting masses.

Carley Robinson mail@folioweekly.com

A&E // MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK

SOUTHERN CULTURE ON THE SKIDS, THE WOOLLY BUSHMAN 8 p.m. Feb. 19 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $15, 398-7496.

THE EXPENDABLES, STICK FIGURE, SEEDLESS, DANKA 6 p.m. Feb. 19 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, $20, 246-2473.

YOUNG THE GIANT 8 p.m. Feb. 19 at Mavericks at the Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, $22, 356-1110.

THE MOBROS, PARKER URBAN BAND 9 p.m. Feb. 19 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, $5, 353-6067.

UV HIPPOS, LUMAGROVE 8 p.m. Feb. 19 at 1904 Music Hall, 19 N. Ocean St., Downtown, $7.

THE TEMPTATIONS, THE FOUR TOPS 8 p.m. Feb. 20 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, $49.50-$75, 355-2787.

SHPONGLE, DESERT DWELLERS 7 p.m. Feb. 20 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, $17, 246-2473.

TRACY GRAMMER, ANNIE & ROD CAPPS 7:30 p.m. Feb. 20, Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008.

NEW MADRID 9 p.m. Feb. 20 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, $5, 353-6067.

HONEY CHAMBER, GORILLA CANDY, MELLOWDIME 8 p.m.

Feb. 20 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $8, 398-7496.

JUICY J, TRAVI$ SCOTT, PROJECT PAT 8 p.m. Feb. 20 at Brewster’s, 845 University Blvd. N., Arlington, $20, 223-9850.

TOMMY EMMANUEL, MARTIN TAYLOR 7:30 p.m. Feb. 20-21, P.V. Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., $36.50-$44.50, 209-0399.

THE CRAZY DAYSIES Feb. 21 at North Beach Bistro, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 372-4105.

STEPHEN KELLOGG 7:30 p.m. Feb. 21 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008.

MITCH KUHMAN BAND Feb. 21 at Sangrias, 35 Hypolita St., St. Augustine, 827-1947.

EL DUB 9 p.m. Feb. 21 at Dog Star Tavern, 10 N. Second St., Fernandina Beach, 277-8010.

JOHN BROWN’S BODY, THE HEAVY PETS 8 p.m. Feb. 21 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $15, 398-7496.

PRIMER 55, STONE BONE, PIPESTONE, RULE NUMBER SIX, HANGMAN’S CROWN, ALL IN 7 p.m. Feb. 21 at Brewster’s Megaplex, 845 University Blvd. N., Arlington, $10, 223-9850.

BEEBS & HER MONEYMAKERS, WHOLE WHEAT BREAD 8 p.m. Feb. 21 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, $8, 246-2473.

HELIOS HAND, BONUS OCEANS 8 p.m. Feb. 21 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, $3, 353-4686.

KILO-KAHN CD Release Party: Denied Til Death, Innuendo, Appalachian Death Trap 8 p.m. Feb. 21 at 1904 Music Hall, 19 N. Ocean St., Downtown, $8.

LEAH SYKES 8 p.m. Feb. 21 at Murray Hill Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., Riverside, free, 388-7807.

CRAFT BEER FESTIVAL: GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE, COUGAR BARREL Noon-5 p.m. Feb. 22, Riverside Arts Market, 715 Riverside Ave., riversidecraftbeerfest.com.

DELBERT McCLINTON 8 p.m. Feb. 22 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, $49.50-$65, 209-0399.

IN WHISPERS, THE EMBRACED, ALL THINGS DONE, NOCTURNAL STATE OF MIND 8 p.m. Feb. 22 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $8, 398-7496.

BRYCE ALASTAIR BAND, 100 WATT VIPERS, SUNSPOTS 8 p.m.

Feb. 22, 1904 Music Hall, 19 N. Ocean St., Downtown, $10-$15.

LOCAL BAND SHOWCASE & FLORIDA SOLO ARTIST AWARDS: Hammer On, The Greedy Lovers Feb. 22, Brewster’s, 845 University Blvd. N., Arlington, 223-9850.

RHETT WALKER BAND, JOSHUA WICKER (Don’t Sigh Daisy), PAMELA AFFRONTI 8 p.m. Feb. 22 at Murray Hill Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., Riverside, $10-$20, 388-7807.

COL. BRUCE HAMPTON 9 p.m. Feb. 22 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, $10-$12, 353-6067.

KYMYSTRY, TOMMY HARRISON GROUP 8 p.m. Feb. 22 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, $8, 246-2473.

DARK STAR ORCHESTRA 7 p.m. Feb. 23 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., $25-$28, 209-0399.

SNARKY PUPPY 7 p.m. Feb. 23 at 1904 Music Hall, 19 N.

FreebirdLive.com

/ TU 4U +BY #FBDI '- r #*3%

WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 19

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SEEDLESS/DANKA THURSDAY FEBRUARY 20

SHPONGLE

DESERT DWELLERS FRIDAY FEBRUARY 21

BEEBS & HER MONEYMAKERS

WHOLE WHEAT BREAD/ASKMEIFICARE SATURDAY FEBRUARY 22

ROCK BAND: Toubab Krewe became the 10 billionth band to claim that it defies genre, saying to their fans they “cannot be found on a map or within iTunes categories.� (iTunes categorizes the Asheville-based band as rock, world and worldbeat.) Toubab Krewe rocks Freebird Live in Jacksonville Beach on Feb. 23.

Ocean St., Downtown, $25.

TOUBAB KREWE, SQUEEDLEPUSS 8 p.m. Feb. 23 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, $16, 246-2473.

DIRE, NOTHING TO OFFER, FEED A LION A FELINE 8 p.m. Feb. 23, Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $8, 398-7496.

DAVE MASON’S TRAFFIC JAM 7 p.m. Feb. 23 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, $35-$55, 355-2787.

GET RIGHT BAND Feb. 23 at Fly’s Tie Irish Pub, 177 Sailfish Dr. East, Atlantic Beach, 246-4293.

FOR TODAY, STRAY FROM THE PATH, THE PLOT IN YOU, LIKE MOTHS TO FLAMES, FIT FOR A KING 5 p.m. Feb. 23 at Brewster’s, 845 University Blvd. N., Arlington, $18, 223-9850.

JENNIFER NETTLES 8 p.m. Feb. 25 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, $47.50-$60.50, 355-2787.

PALM TREES & POWERLINES, BONUS OCEANS, ABOLISH THE RELICS, EVERY MINUTE CAN KILL, RULE NUMBER SIX 8 p.m.

Feb. 25 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $8, 398-7496.

KYMYSTRY TOMMY HARRISON GROUP

THE EAGLES 8 p.m. Feb. 26 at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 A. Philip Randolph Dr., Downtown, $49.50-$189, 379-5196.

FILMSTRIP, GOVERNOR’S CLUB 8 p.m. Feb. 26 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, $5, 353-4686.

NORMA JEAN, MY HEART TO FEAR, BLACK STACHE 5 p.m.

Feb. 26, Brewster’s, 845 University Blvd. N., $12, 223-9850.

ASKMEIFICARE, SAMURAI SHOTGUN, WHISKEY FACE, DEAF TO THE INDUSTRY, MOSBY CLIQUE 8 p.m. Feb. 26 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $8, 398-7496.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

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CLEAR PLASTIC MASKS/ON GUARD UPCOMING

3-13: 3-16: 3-27: 3-28: 4-1: 4-5: 4-12: 4-17: 4-18:

Tribal Seeds/New Kingston We The Kings Drivin’ N Cryin’ Fortunate Youth/Sidereal All Time Low Slick Rick Dopapod/Greenhouse Lounge Local Natives Passafire

4-19:

Blessthefall/Silverstein

FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23

A&E // MUSIC

THE KNIFE

Photo: S&S Photography

Festering Rage

On the announcement of Citrone’s column, local musicians prepare for him to tear their life’s work apart

W

24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014

hen last week I posted on Facebook about my return to the Folio Weekly fold — this time as a columnist rather than an editor — ripples of panic and jubilation simultaneously spread throughout my vast social networking universe. That’s only a slight exaggeration.

For 17 years, from 1995-2012, I held various positions at Folio Weekly, beginning as Calendar Editor, working through the Arts & Entertainment Editor’s chair and ending as Managing Editor. All the while, I wrote extensively about the Northeast Florida music and arts scene, and in so doing, gained a reputation for being an unyielding — and not-so-polite — critic. For my honesty, I was rewarded with threats of violence at my home (not unusual for a journalist), received a number of angry letters to the editor and lost a few “friends.” I was even invited to engage in fisticuffs by one Fred Durst. The Limp Bizkit frontman and I had breakfast instead, and he turned out to be far less dickish than one might imagine. (The encounter was documented in a Folio Weekly cover story long ago.)

And there was one face-to-face incident, a moment that still mystifies me.

Having been a working musician since I was a teenager, I supplemented my income while working at Folio Weekly by performing in local clubs as a member of various bands, which put me in direct contact with the people and places about which I was writing — a wonderful but apparently dangerous bonus. A couple of years ago, after having left Folio Weekly for a dotcom job that quickly collapsed into my current position as freelance full-time musician and music teacher, I found myself staring into the eyes of a very drunk, very pissed-off local singer-songwriter.

I was leaving a gig at around 2 a.m., drum

cases in hand, when said songwriter approached me. Pinning me between two cars, he fumed about how I had panned his album in these pages — five years previous. Yes, he held on to the rage for five years, and now he was in my grill, preparing to kick my ass if I didn’t, in his words, get down on my knees and apologize to him.

After about a half-hour of endless insults and threats — during which, oddly enough, I never put down my cases — somehow I talked him down. He apologized, mentioned something about how sick he was and that he’d coupled cough medicine with alcohol. Then he invited me to his home studio to listen to his new material. I respectfully declined, my face fully intact.

The recent reaction on Facebook is a reflection of what I consider to be many wonderful years of writing about music and art here in Northeast Florida. Some comments were humorous recollections of the things I’d written about local releases — some flattering, some less so. Others were forecasts of what was to come, replete with fear statements (“No, I’m not going to let you tear my life’s work apart”), warnings (“The risk involved is frightening”) and what I consider to be praise (“You are a brutal fuck, John”).

So let’s consider this an introduction of sorts — or re-introduction, if you will.

I encourage everyone to submit CDs for review, upcoming show dates and events, and anything unusual you see going on that might warrant inclusion here. Don’t bother turning me on to the mainstream; there’s enough coverage of that already. And that’s a sure-fire way to stoke my ire.

Send your info to theknife@folioweekly.com — at your own peril.

GROOVE COALITION Feb. 27, Underbelly MATT OWEN & THE ELECTRIC TUBA Feb. 28, Jack Rabbits SOUTHSIDE JOHNNY & THE ASBURY JUKES Feb. 28, The Florida Theatre LOVE AND THEFT Feb. 28, Mavericks at the Landing ART GARFUNKEL Feb. 28, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall UNDERHILL ROSE Feb. 28, Mudville Music Room GET RIGHT BAND Feb. 28, White Lion SET APART, COME AND REST, ME & THE TRINITY, CALEDONIA STRING BAND Feb. 28, Murray Hill Theatre THE CRAZY DAYSIES Feb. 28, Seven Bridges DEADPHISH ORCHESTRA Feb. 28, 1904 Music Hall

GREAT GUITAR GATHERING March 1, The Florida Theatre FULL DEVIL JACKET, NEW DAY March 1, Freebird Live BENJAMIN BOOKER March 1, Jack Rabbits THE UNDERHILL FAMILY ORCHESTRA March 1, Burro Bar LARRY MANGUM March 1, Mudville Music Room IRON AND WINE March 1, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall GET RIGHT BAND March 1, White Lion HERD OF WATTS, TRAE PIERCE & T-STONE BAND, LYDA BROTHERS BAND March 1, 1904 Music Hall JOHN TIBBS, BROOKE LOGAN, SAVANNA LEIGH BASSETT March 1, Murray Hill Theatre JULIO IGLESIAS March 2, T-U Center’s Moran Theater

John Citrone theknife@folioweekly.com

BIG GIGANTIC, CAKED UP, SIR CHARLES March 2, Freebird Live ICE NINE KILLS, ABOLISH THE RELICS March 2, Brewster’s LOCAL H March 2, Jack Rabbits STILL THE SKY’S LIMIT March 3, Jack Rabbits ROUNDHEELS, GLEN MARTIN March 3, Burro Bar TWO COW GARAGE March 4, Jack Rabbits THE DYLAN TAYLOR BAND March 4, Underbelly HOPSIN, DJ HOPPA, FUNK VOLUME March 5, Freebird Live SPIRITUAL REZ & THE MESSENGERS March 5, Underbelly FRANKIE VALLI & THE FOUR SEASONS March 5, T-U Center HE IS LEGEND, ON GUARD March 5, 1904 Music Hall SURFER BLOOD March 5, Jack Rabbits THE KENNEDYS March 6, Mudville Music Room CAROLINA CHOCOLATE DROPS March 6, P.V. Concert Hall DROPKICK MURPHYS, LUCERO, SKINNY LISTER March 6, Mavericks at the Landing DARSOMBRA, NATIONAL DIARY March 6, Burro Bar GENERAL TSO’S FURY, ASKULTURA March 6, Jack Rabbits RITTZ, JELLY ROLL March 6, Freebird Live KJ-52, JASON DUNN March 6, Murray Hill Theatre BLOOD WATER BENEFIT: Jars of Clay March 7, Murray Hill Theatre J. RODDY WALTSON & THE BUSINESS, CLEAR PLASTIC MASKS, ON GUARD March 7, Freebird Live MATRIMONY March 8, Jack Rabbits AMY SPEACE March 8, Mudville Music Room STEVE MILLER BAND March 8, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THE REPUBLIK March 8, Underbelly WARRIOR KING & THE ONE SOUND BAND, DE LIONS OF JAH, JAH ELECT & THE I QUALITY BAND, KANA KIEHM, 74 SOUNDSYSTEM March 8, Freebird Live LEVERAGE MODELS, WOVEN IN, THE HIGHWAY March 8, Burro Bar ALESANA, GET SCARED, HEARTS & HANDS, FAREWELL MY LOVE, MEGOSH March 9, Brewster’s Megaplex AGENT ORANGE March 9, Jack Rabbits SCOTTY McCREERY March 9, The Florida Theatre CURTIN March 10, Burro Bar DIAMOND PLATE, EAST OF THE WALL, DIRTY AUTOMATIC March 10, Jack Rabbits BOBAFLEX March 11, Brewster’s Megaplex LES RACQUET, THE ACCOMPLICES, WORTH ROAD March 12, Jack Rabbits TRIBAL SEEDS, STICK FIGURE, SEEDLESS March 13, Freebird PIERCE PETTIS March 13, The Original Café Eleven DANA COOPER March 13; HARPETH RISING, HONEY BOY, BOOTS March 14, Mudville Music Room MICHAEL BOLTON March 14, The Florida Theatre UNKNOWN LIQUID, OSCAR MIKE, BETHANY STOCKDALE March 14, Jack Rabbits IRISH TO THE END March 14, The Pioneer Barn PHUK THE POLITICS, NO BLARNEY March 14, 1904 Music Hall RACHELLE FERRELL March 14, Ritz Theatre TOOTS LORRAINE & THE TRAFFIC March 15, Mudville Music GRAVITY A, SPORE March 15, Underbelly WE THE KINGS, THIS CENTURY, CRASH THE PARTY March 16, Freebird Live LA DISPUTE March 16, Brewster’s Megaplex IRISH TO THE END March 16, The Pioneer Barn TAKE THE STAGE-4 DONNY: His Name Was Iron, Fit for Rivals, Grandpa’s Cough Medicine, Canary in the Coalmine, Tom Bennett Band, P.U.B., Superjam March 16, Jack Rabbits NATURAL LIFE MUSIC FESTIVAL: Larkin Poe, HoneyHoney, The Autumn Defense, Sarah Jarosz, Della Mae March 16, Metropolitan Park REDRICK SULTAN March 17, Burro Bar GEORGE THOROGOOD & THE DESTROYERS March 19, The Florida Theatre WE BUTTER THE BREAD WITH BUTTER, LIONS LIONS, HONOUR CREST March 19, Jack Rabbits NOBRA NOMA, SKYBISON March 19, Burro Bar HIROYA TSUKAMOTO, SAM PACETTI, MICHAEL JORDAN March 20, Mudville Music Room SUWANNEE SPRINGFEST: The Avett Brothers, Del McCoury Band, Punch Brothers, Sam Bush Band, Southern Soul Assembly, Jason Isbell, Travelin’ McCoury Jam, Donna the Buffalo, Steep Canyon Rangers, Jim Lauderdale, Greensky Bluegrass, Willie Sugarcaps, The Duhks, Aoife O’Donovan, Floodwood, Ralph Roddenbery, Grandpa’s Cough Medicine, Canary in the Coalmine, Royal Tinfoil, Holy Ghost Tent Revival, Love Canon, Grant Peeples, The Stacks, Sloppy Joe, Uproot Hootenanny, Big Cosmo, Habanera Honeys, The New 76ers, JacksonVegas, Quartermoon, SOSOS, The Whiskey Gentry, Bibb City Ramblers, 2-Foot Level, Henhouse Prowlers, Come Back Alice, Gypsy Wind, Nook & Cranny, Beartoe, Mickey Abraham’s Acoustic Ensemble March 20-23, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park MOULLINEX, MARBEYA SOUND March 21, Underbelly MIDDLE CLASS RUT, BRICK & MORTAR, DINOSAUR PILEUP March 21, Jack Rabbits PINK MARTINI March 21, The Florida Theatre JOSHUA SCOTT JONES, JORDYN STODDARD March 21, Café 11 LADYSMITH BLACK MAMBAZO March 22, The Florida Theatre BATTLEFIELD BAND March 22, Mudville Music Room WE ARE THE IN CROWD, WILLIAM BECKETT, SET IT OFF, STATE CHAMPS, CANDY HEARTS March 22, Jack Rabbits THE MOODY BLUES March 22, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MARC COHN DUO March 23, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA, THE GHOST INSIDE, I KILLED THE PROM QUEEN, DANGERKIDS March 23, Murray Hill Theatre THE SUITCASE JUNKET March 25, Underbelly DOC HANDY March 25, Mudville Music Room DAVE HAUSE, NORTHCOTE March 26, Jack Rabbits GET THE LED OUT March 27, The Florida Theatre

A&E // MUSIC JOHN FLYNN March 27, Mudville Music Room DIRTY BOURBON RIVER SHOW March 27, Underbelly DRIVIN N CRYIN’ March 27, Freebird Live YOUR 33 BLACK ANGELS March 27, Burro Bar YONAS, PELL, DRAZAH March 27, Jack Rabbits THE BRONX WANDERERS March 28, Thrasher-Horne Center FORTUNATE YOUTH March 28, Freebird Live LORETTA LYNN March 28, The Florida Theatre PROTEST THE HERO, BATTLECROSS, SAFETY FIRE, INTERVALS, NIGHT/VERSUS March 28, Jack Rabbits RUFFIANS, SUNSPOTS March 28, Burro Bar GORAN IVANOVIC March 28, The Original CafÊ Eleven STILL ON THE HILL March 29, Mudville Music Room SLIDE INTO SPRING FESTIVAL March 29, Fernandina Beach CULTURA PROFETICA March 29, Freebird Live 2 CHAINZ March 29, Brewster’s Megaplex THE MOWGLIS, MISTERWIVES, BURIED BEDS March 29, Jack Rabbits RIVERS AND LAKES March 30, Jack Rabbits CARRIE NATION & THE SPEAKEASY, MUDTOWN, TAIL LIGHT REBELLION March 30, Burro Bar AARON BING March 30, T-U Center THE FUNERAL AND THE TWILIGHT, BURNT HAIR, PROSTRATE, VASES March 31, Burro Bar ALL TIME LOW, MAN OVERBOARD, HAND GUNS April 1, Freebird Live STEVE HACKETT April 2, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MOBB DEEP April 2, Underbelly TESSERACT April 2, Brewster’s Megaplex JESSE COOK April 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PEPPINO DEAUGUSTINO April 3, Mudville Music Room PAUL ANKA April 3, T-U Center’s Moran Theater SOJA April 3, The Florida Theatre SPRINGING THE BLUES FESTIVAL April 4-6, Jax Beach ROBERT CRAY BAND April 4, P.V. Concert Hall GRANT PEEPLES April 5, Mudville Music Room THOMAS WYNN & THE BELIEVERS, IVEY WEST BAND April 5, Underbelly SOUTH EAST BEAST April 5-6, Brewster’s Megaplex DOUG STANHOPE April 6, Underbelly AMOS LEE April 7, The Florida Theatre TANTRIC, SOIL April 8, Brewster’s Megaplex WANEE MUSIC FESTIVAL: The Allman Brothers Band, Trey Anastasio Band, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Tedeschi Trucks Band, Gov’t Mule, Jaimoe’s Jasssz Band, Umphrey’s McGee, Ziggy Marley, Blues Traveler, Hot Tuna Electric, moe., The Chris Robinson Brotherhood, Ivan Neville’s Dumpstaphunk, Soulive, Royal Southern Brotherhood, Walter Trout, Rob Garza, Blind Boys of Alabama, Bobby Lee Rodgers, Melvin Seals & JGB, Futurebirds, Matt Schofield, Break Science,

Mon: Karaoke Tues: Karaoke Wed: Jam Nite / Open Mic

Heavy Hitters Club Host Band Synrgy Featuring Rocco Marshall, Derek Hess, Clinton Carver, Rick “Hurricane� Johnson and other special guests. That means you.

8:30 pm

Thurs: Boogie Freaks Fri: Home of the Most Talented

Wait Staff Show begins 9pm till close

The Yeti Trio April 10-12, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park THE BLIND BOYS OF ALABAMA April 11, P.V. Concert Hall MIKE EPPS April 11, T-U Center RAY WYLIE HUBBARD, THE 77D’S April 12, Jack Rabbits WHITE FANG, DENNEY & the JETS, The MOLD April 12, Burro Bar DOPAPOD, GREENHOUSE LOUNGE April 12, Freebird Live OYSTER JAM MUSIC FEST April 12-13, Metropolitan Park JON VEZNER April 13, Mudville Music Room THE ZOMBIES April 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE VALLEY ROOTS April 14, Underbelly THE DECORATION April 16, Jack Rabbits LEDISI April 16, The Florida Theatre LOCAL NATIVES April 17, Freebird Live MITCH KUHMAN BAND April 17, Sangrias CONSIDER THE SOURCE April 18, Underbelly TECH N9NE April 18, Brewster’s THE RESOLVERS, UNIVERSAL GREEN, THE MESSENGERS April 19, Underbelly MERCYGIRL, WHOSOEVER SOUTH April 19, Murray Hill Theatre BLESSTHEFALL, SILVERSTEIN, THE AMITY AFFLICTION, SECRETS, HEARTIST April 19, Freebird Live DARIUS RUCKER, ELI YOUNG BAND, COREY SMITH April 19, St. Augustine Amphitheatre SLAID CLEAVES April 19, Mudville Music Room MISHKA, SARAH BLACKER April 20, Jack Rabbits TODD SNIDER April 23, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall VANCE GILBERT April 24, Mudville Music Room GRIZ, MICHAL MENERT April 24, Freebird Live DICK DALE April 26, Jack Rabbits WELCOME TO ROCKVILLE: Avenged Sevenfold, The Cult, Motorhead, Volbeat, Chevelle, Alter Bridge, Hellyeah, Adelitas Way, Rev Theory, Butcher Babies, Memphis May Fire, Chiodos, We as Human, Monster Truck, We Came as Romans, Middle Class Rut, Devour the Day April 26, Metropolitan Park WELCOME TO ROCKVILLE: Korn, Rob Zombie, Five Finger Death Punch, Staind, Seether, Theory of a Deadman, Black Label Society, Black Stone Cherry, Trivium, Motionless in White, Sick Puppies, Skindred, The Pretty Reckless, Lacuna Coil, Fozzy, Kyng, Nothing More, Twelve Foot Ninja April 27, Metropolitan Park SANTANA April 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre SOLE TOUR: Nate Holley, John Earle, Charlie Walker, Rachael Warfield, Odd Rodd, Matt Still April 27, Freebird Live ROB THOMAS April 29, The Florida Theatre JOHN LEGEND April 30, The Florida Theatre SUWANNEE RIVER JAM: Brantley Gilbert, Montgomery Gentry, The Mavericks, Chris Cagle, Justin Moore, Charlie Daniels Band, Colt Ford, The Lacs, JJ Lawhorn April 30-May 3, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park

BRIT FLOYD May 4, The Florida Theatre CHER, CYNDI LAUPER May 14, Veterans Memorial Arena TURKUAZ May 7, Underbelly COMBICHRIST May 8, Brewster’s Megaplex THE FAB FOUR May 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PURPLE HATTER’S BALL: Beats Antique, Emancipator Ensemble, The New Mastersounds, The Heavy Pets, The Nth Power, DubConscious, Space Capone, Rising Appalachia, Greenhouse Lounge May 9-11, Suwannee Music Park

CLUBS AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

DAVID’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, 802 Ash St., 310-6049 John Springer every Tue.-Wed. Aaron Bing every Fri.-Sat. DOG STAR TAVERN, 10 N. Second St., 277-8010 El Dub 9 p.m. Feb. 21. Working Class Stiff 9:30 p.m. every Tue. THE PALACE SALOON, 117 Centre St., 491-3332 Schnockered 9:30 p.m. Feb. 23. Buck Smith every Tue. THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 491-8999 DJ Roc at 6 p.m. every Wed. Richard Smith 6 p.m. Fri. Honey Badgers every Sat.

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

BREWSTER’S MEGAPLEX/PIT/ROC BAR/THE EDGE, 845 University Blvd. N., 223-9850 Juicy J, Travi$ Scott, Project Pat Feb. 20. Primer 55, Stone Bone, Pipestone, Rule Number 6, Hangman’s Crown, All In 7 p.m. Feb. 21. Hammer On, Greedy Lovers Feb. 22. For Today, Stray from the Path, The Plot in You, Like Moths to Flames, Fit for a King 5 p.m. Feb. 23. Norma Jean, Spoken, My Heart to Fear, Myth of Myself 5 p.m. Feb. 26 MVP’S SPORTS GRILLE, 12777 Atlantic Blvd., 221-1090 Live music 9 p.m. every Fri.-Sat.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

CASBAH CAFE, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave., 387-3582 DJ Keith every Tue. DJ Free every Fri. DJ SuZi-Rok every Mon.

BEACHES

(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted) 200 FIRST STREET, Courtyard, Neptune Beach, 249-2922 Rough Mix 7 p.m. Feb. 21. John Shaffer Feb. 22 CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 Irish music 6:30 p.m. Feb. 23. Small Fish Feb. 28 FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 8535680 Carl & the Black Lungs 10 p.m. Feb. 21. Druids Feb. 22.

Red Beard & Stinky E 10 p.m. every Thur.

WEDNESDAY Pat Rose

THURSDAY Lyons

FRIDAY

Boogie Freaks

SATURDAY

Bush Doctors

SUNDAY

River City Bluez Band Atlantic Blvd. at the Ocean "UMBOUJD #FBDI r

FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25

A&E // MUSIC FLY’S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 E. Sailfish Dr., Atlantic Beach, 246-4293 Yankee Slickers Feb. 21. Get Right Band, Yankee Slickers Feb. 23. Wes Cobb every Thur. Charlie Walker Mon. FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 The Expendables, Stick Figure, Seedless, Danka 6 p.m. Feb. 19. Shpongle, Desert Dwellers 7 p.m. Feb. 20. Beebs & Her Moneymakers, Whole Wheat Bread 8 p.m. Feb. 21. Kymystry, Tommy Harrison Group 8 p.m. Feb. 22. Toubab Krewe, Squeedlepuss 8 p.m. Feb. 23 ISLAND GIRL BAR, 108 First St., Neptune Beach, 372-0943 Clayton Bush Feb. 20. Chelsea Saddler Feb. 21. Paxton Stark Feb. 22. Tad Jennings Feb. 27 LANDSHARK CAFE, 1728 Third St. N., 246-6024 Open mic every Wed. Matt Still every Thur.

LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Something Distant 10 p.m. Feb. 21-22. Be Easy Mon. Split Tone every Thur.

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., 246-1500 Mark O’Quinn Feb. 19. Herd of Watts Feb. 20. El Dub Feb. 21. Lucky Costello Feb. 22 MEZZA LUNA, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573 Neil Dixon every Tue. Mike Shackelford & Rick Johnson every Thur.

NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 Gary Lee Wingard Feb. 20. The Crazy Daysies Feb. 21 PIER CANTINA, 412 N. First St., 246-6454 Ryan Campbell & Charlie Walker every Fri. Split Tone every Sun. RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 Pat Rose Feb. 19. Lyons Feb. 20. Boogie Freaks Feb. 21. Bush Doctors Feb. 22. River City Bluez Band Feb. 23

DOWNTOWN

1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. UV Hippos, Lumagrove 8 p.m. Feb. 19. Kilo-Kahn CD release, Denied Til Death, Appalachian Death Trap, Innuendo 8 p.m. Feb. 21. Bryce Alastair Band, 100 Watt Vipers, Sunspots 8 p.m. Feb. 22.

Snarky Puppy Feb. 23 BURRO BAR, 100 E. Adams St., 677-2977 Helios Hand, Bonus Oceans 8 p.m. Feb. 21. Ghost Foot 9 p.m. Feb. 25 DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 DJ NickFresh 9 p.m. every Sat. FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247 Braxton Adamson, Rathkeltair, Albanach Feb. 21. Ron Perry Duo Feb. 22 JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Sun Jammer 8 p.m.-1 a.m. Feb. 22. Live music every Fri.-Sat. MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Roy Luis every Wed. DJ Vinn Thur. DJ 007 every Fri. Bay Street every Sat. MAVERICKS, Jax Landing, 2 Independent Dr., 356-1110 Young the Giant 8 p.m. Feb. 19. New Madrid 8 p.m. Feb. 20.

Love and Theft Feb. 28. Joe Buck, Big Tasty spin Thur.-Sat. SHANTYTOWN PUB, 22 W. Sixth St., 798-8222 Bethany Stockdale 8 p.m. Feb. 21. Xstrophy Feb. 24 UNDERBELLY, 113 E. Bay St., 353-6067 The Mobros, Parker Urban Band 9 p.m. Feb. 19. New Madrid 9 p.m. Feb. 20. Col. Bruce Hampton Feb. 22

26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014

FLEMING ISLAND

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999 Jameyal 10 p.m. Feb. 21. Pierce in Harmony Feb. 22 WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 The Ride 9:30 p.m. Feb. 21-22. Deck music at 5 p.m. every Fri.-Sat., 4:30 p.m. every Sun. DJ BG every Mon.

INTRACOASTAL WEST

CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 Big Baby Live 8 p.m. Feb. 19. Ozone Baby 9 p.m. Feb. 21-22.

Bandontherun Feb. 26 SALSA’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 13500 Beach Blvd., 992-8402 Live guitar music 6-9 p.m. every Tue. & Sat.

MANDARIN, JULINGTON

HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-3040 Boogie Freaks Feb. 20. Open mic: Synergy 8 p.m. every Wed. Dennis Klee & the World’s Most Talented Waitstaff 9 p.m. every Fri.

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells, 272-5959 John Michael Wed.-Sat. PREVATT’S SPORTS BAR, 2620 Blanding Blvd., 282-1564 Herd of Watts Feb. 21. DJ Tammy 9 p.m. every Wed. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 El Dub 8 p.m. Feb. 26. Live music 9 p.m. every Thur.-Sat.

PALATKA

DOWNTOWN BLUES BAR & GRILLE, 714 St. Johns Ave., 386325-5454 Middle Ground Feb. 21. Rick Randlett Feb. 22

PONTE VEDRA, PALM VALLEY

ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR, 820 A1A N., 834-2492 John Austill Feb. 20. Aaron Kyle Feb. 21. Ledbedder Feb. 22 PUSSER’S GRILLE, 816 A1A N., 280-7766 Live music every Fri.-Sat. SoundStage Sun. TABLE 1, 330 A1A N., Ste. 208, 280-5515 Deron Baker Feb. 19. Gary Starling Jazz Band Feb. 20. WillowWacks Feb. 21.

Darren Corlew 7:30 p.m. Feb. 22

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

KICKBACKS, 910 King St., 388-9551 Ray & Taylor 8:30 p.m. every Thur. Robby Shenk every Sun. MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., 388-7807 Leah Sykes 8 p.m. Feb. 21. Rhett Walker Band, Joshua Wicker, Pam Affronti 8 p.m. Feb. 22

ST. AUGUSTINE

CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 Mid-Life Crisis Feb. 21-22. Vinny Jacobs Feb. 23. Mojo Roux 7 p.m. Feb. 28 HARRY’S, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765 Billy Bowers 6 p.m. Feb. 26

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040 Grandpa’s Cough Medicine Feb. 21. Ivey West Band Feb. 28 MILL TOP TAVERN & LISTENING ROOM, 19 1/2 St. George St., 829-2329 Go Get Gone 9 p.m. Feb. 21. Impediments 9 p.m.

Feb. 22. Adam Lee 1 p.m. Feb. 23. Todd & Molly Jones Wed. Aaron Esposito Thur. David Strom Mon. Donny Brazile Tue. TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Spanky the Band 9 p.m. Feb. 21-22. Matanzas Sun.-Thur. Elizabeth Roth Sat.

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER

BLACKFINN GRILLE, 4840 Big Island Dr., 345-3466 Live music 5 p.m. every Wed., 9 p.m. every Thur.-Sat. SUITE, 4880 Big Island Dr., 493-9305 Live music Fri.-Sat.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Southern Culture on the Skids, The Woolly Bushman 8 P.M. Feb. 19.

Mellowdime, Honey Chamber, Gorilla Candy 8 p.m. Feb. 20 Feb. 20. John Brown’s Body, The Heavy Pets, DJ Sensi 8 p.m.

Feb. 21. In Whispers, The Embraced, All Things Done 8 p.m.

Feb. 22. Dire, Nothing to Offer, Feed a Lion a Feline 8 p.m.

Feb. 23. Abolish the Relics, Every Minute Can Kill, Palm Trees & Powerlines, Bonus Oceans, Rule Number Six 8 p.m. Feb. 25. Askmeificare, Samurai Shotgun, Whiskey Face, Deaf to the Industry, Mosby Clique 8p.m. Feb. 26. Unknown Hinson, Grandpa’s Cough Medicine Feb. 27 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Tracy Grammer, Annie & Rod Capps 7:30 p.m. Feb. 20. Stephen Kellogg 7:30 p.m. Feb. 21. Julie Durden Feb. 22. Sam Pacetti, Walter Parks 7:30 p.m. Feb. 27

SOUTHSIDE

ISLAND GIRL, 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115, 854-6060 Jason Ivey Feb. 20. Bill Rice Feb. 21. Caleb Joye Feb. 22 LATITUDE 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 VJ Didactic 9 p.m. Feb. 20. TPTS 9 p.m. Feb. 21-22 SEVEN BRIDGES, 9735 Gate Parkway N., 997-1999 The Crazy Daysies Feb. 28. Live music Fri.-Sat. WILD WING CAFE, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Chilly Rhino Feb. 20. Second Shot Feb. 21. The Gootch Feb. 22. Pop Muzik & Chilly Rhino rotate 7 p.m. every Wed.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

DAMES POINT MARINA, 4542 Irving Rd., 751-3043 Live music every Fri.-Sat. HIGHWAY 17 ROADHOUSE TAVERN, 850532 U.S. 17, Yulee, 225-9211 Live music every Fri.-Sat. For a complete live music list, go to folioweekly.com/calendar.

To submit your event, email djohnson@folioweekly.com or mdryden@folioweekly.com. Deadline for print is 4 p.m. Friday.

Due to space constraints, not all submissions appear in print.

A&E // MUSIC

Vegan Missionaries

Captive Bolt release a split 45 (with a philosophy prof!) of hardcore rants against the omnivorous status quo CAPTIVE BOLT Feb. 20, Rain Dogs, 1045 Park St., 5 Points, $5 facebook.com/raindogsjax

I

n 2002, when Josh Jubinsky founded his independent record distribution business, Dead Tank Distro, he was a 22-year-old Jacksonville punk on a mission: To cultivate and distribute vinyl and CD releases from underground bands of all stripes from around the world. Not much has changed since then — well, as far as the mission is concerned, anyway. Jubinsky, now a 34-year-old father of a toddler and an established work-a-day librarian (yep, he’s employed by the local government), recently resurrected Dead Tank and has recommitted himself to giving worthwhile punk, doom, black metal, goth and synth-pop bands a fast track into the musical marketplace.

One of those bands, Jacksonville-based vegan hardcore act Captive Bolt, recently released a split 45 with spoken-word artist Gary Francione. It’s a short-but-vicious combination of blistering second-wave hardcore by the band and intellectual sermonizing by the Rutgers philosophy professor. A longtime vegan, Francione’s contribution is a solid counterbalance to the furious minute-and-a-half blasts from Bolt.

The two songs featured on the split continue the conceptual thread introduced on Captive Bolt’s debut 7-inch Rape, Slaughter, Slavery and Vivisection, released last year and also available on Dead Tank.

“I actually like the ethics behind what that band is doing,” says Jubinsky. “And I really wanted to try and focus on at least one act in Jacksonville. The other acts [on Dead Tank] are kind of strewn across the globe.”

If you’re a fan of Rich Kids on LSD or D.R.I, the new Captive Bolt will find purchase in your twisted ear canals. Fast, angry and political, the songs “Property of None” and “Fates” constitute low-fi rants against the omnivorous status quo. And for anyone familiar with Dead Tank’s roster, it’s a

perfect fit both sonically and philosophically.

“Josh has been around for a long time. I’ve known him for probably 12 years and bought from his distro since the early 2000s,” says Captive Bolt lead singer Lars Lundquist.

“He’s a down-to-earth guy who understands what we’re trying to do.”

What the band is trying to do is make everyone who listens to them more aware of the benefits of veganism, targeting specifically, ironically enough, vegetarians. “The dairy and egg industries are pretty horrible,” says Lundquist. “I’ll take dairy cows, for example.

A lot of people think that cows are able to just produce milk. They don’t understand that every time [the cows] do, they have to be impregnated and forced to have calves. The calves are then taken away from them, and then they’re forced to be impregnated once again.”

“You have to do the best that you can. You can’t save the world, but you can try.”

Though Lundquist admits that the term “vegan” has its own troubling aspects — for instance, virtually everyone, even the most devoted vegan, benefits from petroleum use, which both directly and indirectly adversely affects animal populations — he hopes people will make an effort to become more aware of animal neglect and abuse, and do what they can within their chosen lifestyles to help limit that abuse.

“You have to do that the best that you can,” says Lundquist. “The biggest change you can make is changing your diet. You have to start somewhere. You can’t save the world, but you can try.”

The Captive Bolt/Francione split is available at the Dead Tank display at Deep Search Records on Lomax Street in Five Points. For a complete list of Dead Tank releases, log on to deadtankrecords.com.

John E. Citrone mail@folioweekly.com

FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27

A&E // COMEDY

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edgier material in the old boys’ network of comedy Sales Rep SS AMY SCHUMER 8 p.m. Feb. 22, The Florida Theatre, Downtown, $39-$46.50, 355-2787, floridatheatre.com

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28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014

n hindsight, all of Amy Schumer’s current success seems predestined. The comedienne, having spent the last couple of years juggling various television projects and still managing to sell out venues all over the country, is one of the most successful stand-ups around today — and she stars in her own hit Comedy Central show, Inside Amy Schumer.

Next week, Schumer returns to Jacksonville on Feb. 22 with her latest set, Inside Amy Schumer’s Back Door Tour. If you’re at all familiar with the funny woman’s material, that title won’t surprise you. “I want to talk about the things that interest me, and sex is a part of that,” she told Entertainment Weekly last year.

Sex is actually a lot of that. Schumer is the latest female comic to push the envelope for laughs — but unlike male comics, who do the same without raising eyebrows, she catches hell for it.

As she explained on NPR’s Fresh Air in June, “I’ll get off stage and the club owner will say, ‘That was a lot about sex.’ And they would never say that to a male comic. I didn’t grow up hearing any women really delving into that side of themselves. So I thought, ‘OK, maybe I can be this person for women and for men just to hear the women’s perspective in a less apologetic, honest way.’ ” (Citing a last-minute issue, Schumer declined our interview request.)

Michelle Maclay, a veteran stand-up, says that the already-difficult field can be even harder for females who are perceived as being just another pretty face — and despite the strides women have made, there still lingers a misperception of inferior talent.

Sarah Colonna, a regular on the hit E!

talk show Chelsea Lately, agrees that female comics continue to be treated differently.

Reminiscing while in Jacksonville performing at The Comedy Zone, she recalled the chilly reception that women stand-ups sometimes receive from their male counterparts: “There are certain places even to this day that feel a little bit more like a boys’ club than a real comedy club.

It’s hard for anyone, period, when they are first starting out, and I’m sure there are just as many men that don’t make it as women, but you definitely hit the point that there are some clubs you don’t go to. They roll their eyes at you when you walk in, ‘Oh, here’s another girl trying to be funny, whatever.’ ” It’s a fight Schumer is only too familiar with. Despite years of material crafted in front of audiences, and even with a selftitled weekly TV program under her belt, most folks are no doubt more familiar with her appearances on HBO’s Girls and a stint on the Adult Swim cult hit Delocated.

With a starring feature on the horizon, helmed by Judd Apatow (who produces Girls), Schumer’s star will only rise higher.

But the leap from a local comedy club stage to the big screen can be a tricky one; for every Kevin Hart, there are a few dozen forgotten talents strewn along the way.

While Colonna is proud of Schumer’s success and optimistic of what that could mean for other women in the field, she’s hesitant to believe that much has changed in the executive offices where the big-money decisions are made.

“If Judd Apatow wants to work with Schumer, he grabs onto her,” she says. “If someone sees money in a creative person, they grab onto it. It’s all about taking advantage of opportunities, even if it’s opportunities that you have to make for yourself.”

Isaac Weeks mail@folioweekly.com

A&E // ARTS

LADY PUNK: Jennie Cotterill draws inspiration from swap meets, cartoons and astrophysics to create her pieces in a variety of forms, including South, on my bike, pictured here.

Bad Cop, Rad Artist

Southern California painter-punk rocker Jennie Cotterill shapes pieces into colorful, otherworldly subject matter CoRK ARTISTS RESIDENCY Jennie Cotterill and Aaron Brown’s exhibit displays 6-10 p.m. Feb. 21, CoRK East Gallery, Riverside, facebook.com/Corkartsdistrict

J

olly singing robots playing instruments, a sloth hanging from clock hands while holding three scoops of ice cream, a fish in boxers enjoying a lazy day of pipe-smoking — these are just a few of the characters in Jennie Cotterill’s world.

Originally from the Midwest, Cotterill is a Southern California-based painter and a member of the four-piece lady punk band Bad Cop/Bad Cop. She also works full time as the community outreach artist coordinator for Hurley. When she’s not creating art for the skate- and surf-inspired clothing and gear company, she’s creating art for herself. That’s the motivation for Cotterill’s recent trip to Jacksonville.

“This is exactly what I’ve been looking for,” Cotterill says of her artist-in-residence gig at the CoRK Arts District. “This is the golden apple of art-making. I’m really excited to not do anything but make art for two weeks.”

The program works like this: CoRK gives artists a stipend for travel and living expenses, and then at the end of their two weeks, they use the gallery space to show off the fruits of their labors. Cotterill’s exhibition is held Feb. 21.

A year ago, Hurley asked Cotterill to attend a surfing contest in Cocoa Beach. The surfing wasn’t top-notch, Cotterill says, but she made some lasting connections — including Jacksonville artists Shaun Thurston and Crystal Floyd, event coordinator for CoRK. She kept in touch, and from those relationships came an invitation from CoRK. Cotterill, in turn, asked that her boyfriend, sculptor Aaron Brown, come along.

“We don’t know exactly what we’ll be doing while we’re there,” Cotterill told me before she arrived here earlier this month. “But we’re hoping to do an installation and some smaller pieces that people can take home. I’m

trying not to ask too many questions and just harmonize the concept when we get there.”

“I invited Jennie and Aaron because I admire their work and level of execution and thought it would make an interesting contribution to the art community here in Jacksonville,” Floyd says. “Jennie is a powerhouse and can do pretty much anything she desires, and well at that, so I am excited to see what she whips up.”

“This is the golden apple of art-making. This is exactly what I’ve been looking for.”

Cotterill draws inspiration from swap meets, cartoons and astrophysics — an unusual trio that results in colorful and otherworldly subject matter. She creates paintings and illustrations in a variety of forms — wall murals, fine art on canvas and 3-D pieces on everything from handsaws to skateboard decks.

While much of Cotterill’s art utilizes bright colors and mystical characters, Brown’s work is very much rooted on Earth. His medium of choice is clay, which he uses to create plant-like head sculptures: An old man’s face protrudes delicately from a large orange-and-white-spotted mushroom; succulents and leafy beings take on their own personas.

When she’s not painting or working for Hurley, Cotterill plays in what she calls a “lady band instead of a girl band, because we’re old — we’re all over 30.” Punk rock is usually a young man’s (or woman’s) game, but Bad Cop/ Bad Cop is nonetheless making waves.

Fat Wreck Chords, an independent punk label headed by Fat Mike of NOFX, recently added the group to its roster. Bad Cop/Bad Cop, currently putting together a European tour, will release a 7-inch this spring.

Kara Pound mail@folioweekly.com

FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29

A&E // ARTS PERFORMANCE

WAR HORSE Artist Series presents this Broadway show, with life-sized puppets of horses onstage, Feb. 19-23 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts, 300 W. Water St., Downtown, $32-$82, 442-2929, artistseriesjax.org.

I OUGHT TO BE IN PICTURES Neil Simon’s classic play about a Hollywood screenwriter, played by Richard Karn of Home Improvement, who has commitment issues when a daughter he didn’t know he had shows up with dreams of stardom, at 6 p.m. Feb. 19-March 16, (weekend matinees vary), at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $38-$55, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com.

MFA IN THE WORKS The informal program presents the work of MFA students in JU’s choreography program, 12:30 p.m.

Feb. 20 and 7:30 p.m. Feb. 21 at Jacksonville University’s Brest Dance Pavilion, 2800 University Blvd. N., Arlington, free, 256-7371, arts.ju.edu.

NOISES OFF A comedy about putting on a comedy, written by English playwright Michael Frayn, runs Feb. 20-22 at Amelia Community Theatre, 207 Cedar St., Fernandina Beach, $10$20, 261-6749, ameliacommunitytheatre.org.

BE A GOOD LITTLE WIDOW A newly widowed woman learns grief etiquette from her mother-in-law, a professional widow, 8 p.m. Feb. 21-22, 3 p.m. Feb. 23 at Orange Park Community Theatre, 2900 Moody Ave., $15, 276-2599, opct.org.

THE SUBJECT WAS ROSES Frank Gilroy’s drama, which won a Pulitzer, a Tony and a New York Drama Critics Circle award for best play, is about Timmy’s return from WWII in May 1946.

It’s staged Feb. 21-March 8 at Theatre Jacksonville, 2032 San Marco Blvd., San Marco, $25, 396-4425, theatrejax.com.

LOVE LETTERS Playwright A.R. Gurney, a Pulitzer Prize for Drama finalist, wrote about a couple’s romantic lifetime, staged Feb. 23 at Raintree Restaurant Dinner Theatre, 102 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine, $39.95, 824-7211, raintreerestaurant.com.

SWAN LAKE In the grand Russian tradition, the tragic story of a princess turned into a swan by a sorcerer’s curse is staged 7 p.m. Feb. 23 at Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts, 283 College Drive, Orange Park, $16-$48, 276-6815, thcenter.org.

ALVIN AILEY AMERICAN DANCE THEATRE Artist Series presents the dance show – celebrating African-American cultural experience and American modern dance heritage – 7:30 p.m. Feb. 25 at the T-U Center, 300 W. Water St., Downtown, $42-$107, 442-2929, artistseriesjax.org.

CELTIC WOMAN Artist Series presents classic Irish tunes, pop anthems and inspirational songs, with the signature Celtic Woman sound, 8 p.m. Feb. 28 at the T-U Center, 300 W. Water St., Downtown, $50-$136, 442-2929, artistseriesjax.org.

RITZ JAZZ JAMM Guitarist Nick Colionne infuses jazz, funk, R&B and blues with his rich vocals, 7 and 10 p.m. March 1 at Ritz Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, $28-$35, 632-5555, ritzjacksonville.com.

JULIO IGLESIAS Two-time Guinness record-setting Latin artist Iglesias sings the hits from his 45-year-long career at 7 p.m.

March 2 at the T-U Center, 300 W. Water St., Downtown, $44$134, 442-2929, artistseriesjax.org.

FRANKIE VALLI & THE FOUR SEASONS Four Seasons frontman (award-winning Broadway musical Jersey Boys is based on his life) performs 7:30 p.m. March 5 at the T-U Center, 300 W. Water St., Downtown, $42-$132, 442-2929, artistseriesjax.org.

THE MISS FIRECRACKER CONTEST Carnelle rehearses for Miss Firecracker – a win will salvage her tarnished reputation.

Her cousin Elaine, ex-Miss Firecracker, shows up. 7:30 p.m. March 6-30 (Sunday matinees available), on Limelight Theatre’s Matuza Main Stage, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, $10-$25, 825-1164, limelight-theatre.org.

ORANGE PARK CHORALE The Chorale celebrates A Whole Lot of Years of Broadway, running the gamut of showtunes from Carousel to Guys and Dolls to Wicked, 7:30 p.m. March 14 at New Grace Church, 5804 Hwy. 17, Fleming Island and 3 p.m. March 16 at Riverside Presbyterian Church, 849 Park St., Downtown, free, 273-4279, orangeparkchorale.com.

COMEDY

RUSSELL PETERS Ranked by Forbes as a top 10 grossing

U.S. comic in ’09 and ’10, rock-star comic Peters performs 8 p.m. Feb. 20-23 and 10 p.m. Feb. 21-22 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Road, Mandarin, 292-4242, $30-$35 (plus tax), comedyzone.com.

STEVE LEMME & KEVIN FEFFERNAN Two guys from Broken Lizard comedy team, and stars of Super Troopers and Beerfest, perform comedy, play Broken Lizard Movie Trivia and reveal how they made Beerfest, 8 p.m. Feb. 27-March 1, 10 p.m.

Feb. 28 and March 1, at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Road, Mandarin, 292-4242, $18-$20 (plus tax), comedyzone.com.

BRAD UPTON The 25-year veteran comedian appears at 8 p.m. Feb. 27-March 1 and at 10 p.m. March 1 at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Arlington, 646-4277, $6-$25, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

XXXTREME COMEDY HYPNOSIS Comedian-hypnotist Rich Guzzi gets audience members to do outlandish – sometimes lewd – acts onstage. Admission includes free copy of either The Ultimate Man or Dream Physique, Guzzi’s new CDs. 8 p.m.

March 4 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Road, Mandarin, 292-4242, $20, comedyzone.com.

DAVE LANDAU Landau, whose credits include two seasons of NBC’s Last Comic Standing, was a top club comic at HBO’s Las Vegas Comedy Festival; he appears at 8 p.m. March 6 and

30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014

IT’S A NATURAL: Candace Fasano’s Missing Jacques is a featured piece in Fasano and Marie Shell’s exhibit examining beauty in the natural world, on display at Haskell Gallery at Jacksonville International Airport, through March 26.

8, 8:30 p.m. March 7, and 10 p.m. March 8 at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Arlington, 646-4277, $6-$25, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

MAD COWFORD IMPROV Weekly improv shows based on audience suggestion, 8:15 p.m. Fri.-Sat. at Northstar Substation, 119 E. Bay St., Downtown, $5, 233-2359, madcowford.com.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS

BORDERLESS CAPTIVITY Part of the ArtWorks for Freedom JAX series to raise awareness about human trafficking in America, indoor art exhibits are shown Feb. 19-28 at FSCJ’s Kent Campus, 401 W. State St., and at Jacksonville University Davis Student Commons, 2800 University Blvd., Arlington.

GREAT DECISIONS The four-month program of eight discussions about global issues continues with the topic of Israel and the U.S., at 6:30 p.m. Feb. 20 at Southeast Regional Library, 10599 Deerwood Park Blvd., 630-4655, free, jpl.coj.net.

PLANTATION ARTISTS’ GUILD & GALLERY As part of his gallery display, Spanish oil painter Dionisio Rodriquez demonstrates his craft 7 p.m. Feb. 21 at 94 Amelia Village Circle, Amelia Island, 432-1750, artamelia.com.

AUTHOR DISCUSSION Charles Tingley, St. Augustine Historical Society senior research librarian, discusses the 19th-century travel writer and St. Augustine visitor Constance Fenimore Woolson, 10:30 a.m. Feb. 22 at St. Cyprian Episcopal Church, 37 Lovett St., 829-8828, free, stcypriansepiscopalchurch.org.

HILDA’S YARD AUDITIONS Auditions for three male and three female roles in Hilda’s Yard, by Canadian playwright Norm Foster about empty-nesters whose nest isn’t so empty when their grown children return; 6 p.m. Feb. 23 (staged April 1116) at Theatre Jacksonville, 2032 San Marco Blvd., San Marco, 396-4425, theatrejax.com/auditions.

ACTORS WORKSHOP AT ABET Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre holds an eight-week actor’s workshop, 6 p.m. every Sun., Feb. 23-April 13 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, $160 (half at registration, half at first class plan available), 249-7177, abettheatre.com.

AUTHOR REVISITS RESTAURANTS Author Dorothy Fletcher discusses her new book, Lost Restaurants of Jacksonville and other works about her life here at 5:30 p.m. Feb. 25 at Main Library, Zimmerman Overlook, 303 N. Laura St., Downtown, 630-2954, free, jpl.coj.net.

PSYCHOLOGY OF HUMAN TRAFFICKING Artworks for Freedom holds a two-day workshop about human trafficking, 8:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Feb. 27-28 at Jacksonville Children’s Commission, 1095 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., $35, 598-0901, info@thevoiceforgirls.org.

CONCERT ON THE GREEN POSTER CONTEST In celebration of America’s veterans, Concert on the Green accepts submissions for its poster contest themed Honoring Our Military with Art and Music. All public, private and home school students may enter. First and second place and People’s Choice winners from K-3, 4-6, 7-8 and 9-12 receive a scholarship or cash prize. Submit applications at concertatthegreen.com. Deliver final entries to Great Hang Ups Gallery, 1560 Business Center Dr., Fleming Island by Feb. 28. Winners selected on or before March 28.

JUNIOR ROWITA FELLOWSHIP The St. Johns Cultural Council accepts applications for the 2014 Junior ROWITA Fellowships, available to all graduating St. Johns County high school girls (public, private, homeschooled) who’ve applied for or been accepted into a Bachelor of Fine Arts program of higher education. One fellowship each in literary, performance and visual arts. Applications must be sent by Feb. 28 to St. Johns Cultural Council, 15 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, 808-7330, stjohnsculture.com.

YOUNG ACTORS THEATRE Theatre Jacksonville holds a spring theater workshop for kids ages 7-17, featuring improv exercises, poetry study, monologue and scene work, starting March 3; $200 per eight-week session, Theatre Jacksonville, 2032 San Marco Blvd., San Marco, 396-4425, theatrejax.com, education@theatrejax.com.

AUTISM SYMPOSIUM University of North Florida’s annual symposium includes an update on advances in research, evidence-based practices for treatment and intervention, and translational science; Celine Saulnier and William Sharp are the featured speakers; 8:30 a.m. March 12 at UNF’s University Center, 12000 Alumni Dr., $60 (registration required), wolfsonchildrens.org/autism.

ARTS LEADERS NOMINATIONS The Cultural Council of Greater Jacksonville accepts nominations for arts leaders in Northeast Florida. Categories are Art Activist, Art Educator, Art Collector, Art Innovator and Art Philanthropist. Submit an essay, up to 500 words, including the nominee’s works and influence in the community, to mason@culturalcouncil.org before March 15. Include name, email and phone number for nominee and nominator. Winners are recognized at Cultural Council’s 38th annual Art Awards May 1.

SPARK GRANT 2014 The Cultural Council of Greater Jacksonville accepts applications for the 2014 Spark Grant Program. Individual artists and nonprofit organizations in Duval, Nassau, St. Johns, Clay and Baker counties are eligible to receive $5,000-$15,000 each. The council seeks proposals designed for child and teen participation to engage residents and visitors with street-level activity. Temporary installations only. Grant applications must be submitted by March 12 at culturalcouncil.org.

CLASSICAL & JAZZ

UNF ORCHESTRA GUEST ARTIST CONCERT Dr. Gordon Brock conducts, 7:30 p.m. Feb. 21 at University of North Florida’s Lazzara Performance Hall, 1 UNF Drive, Southside, free, 620-2878, unf.edu.

STREISAND SONGBOOK WITH ANN HAMPTON CALLAWAY Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra performs with Callaway, 11 a.m. Feb. 21 and 8 p.m. Feb. 21-22 at the T-U Center’s Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 W. Water St., Downtown, $16-$72, 3545547, jaxsymphony.org.

PRIVATE SCHOOLS HONOR BAND CONCERT The 21st annual young artists program, featuring instrumentalists from seven area private schools, is held 7:30 p.m. Feb. 22 at Jacksonville University’s Terry Concert Hall, 2800 University Blvd., Arlington, free, 256-7677, ju.edu.

THE ORCHESTRA GAMES The Jacksonville Symphony

Orchestra appears 3 p.m. Feb. 23 at the T-U Center’s Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 W. Water St., Downtown, $7-$24, 354-5547, jaxsymphony.org.

MARIAN ANDERSON STRING QUARTET The Quartet performs with guest artist Ruby Hinds, as part of the Beaches Fine Arts Series, 4 p.m. Feb. 23 at St. Paul’s by-the-Sea Episcopal Church, 465 11th Ave. N., Jax Beach, 249-4091, beachesfinearts.org.

UNF CHORAL CONCERT The UNF student choral concert is held 6:30 p.m. Feb. 25 at Ponte Vedra Library, 101 Library Blvd., Ponte Vedra Beach, free, 620-2878, unf.edu.

TRADITIONAL CHINESE ORCHESTRA The Qindao University Orchestra plays traditional Chinese instruments, 7:30 p.m.

Feb. 26 at Jacksonville University’s Terry Concert Hall, 2800 University Blvd., Arlington, $10, 256-7677, ju.edu.

SYMPHONY 101: FABIO EXPLORES VERDI A lunch-and-learn session with Jacksonville Symphony Music Director Fabio Mechetti, about Verdi’s Requiem, is followed by a rehearsal, 12:30 p.m. Feb. 26 at the T-U Center’s Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 W. Water St., Downtown, 354-5547, $15, jaxsymphony.org.

JAZZ IN PONTE VEDRA The Gary Starling Group, with Carol Sheehan, Billy Thornton and Peter Miles, performs 7:30-10:30 p.m. every Thur. at Table 1, 330 A1A N., 280-5515.

JAZZ IN RIVERSIDE Trumpeter Ray Callendar and guitarist Taylor Roberts are featured at 9:30 p.m. every Thur. at Kickbacks Gastropub, 910 King St., 388-9551.

JAZZ IN MANDARIN Boril Ivanov Trio plays at 7 p.m. every Thur. and pianist David Gum plays at 7 p.m. every Fri. at Tree Steakhouse, 11362 San Jose Blvd., 262-0006.

JAX BEACH JAZZ Live jazz is presented 6-9 p.m. every Fri. at Landshark Café, 1728 Third St. N., 246-6024.

JAZZ IN NEPTUNE BEACH Live jazz is featured 7:30-9:30 p.m. every Sat. at Lillie’s Coffee Bar, 200 First St., 249-2922.

JAZZ IN ST. AUGUSTINE House Cats play 9:30 p.m. every Sat. at Stogies Club & Listening Room, 36 Charlotte St., 826-4008.

JAZZ IN ARLINGTON Jazzland Café features live music at 8 p.m. every Sat. and 6-9 p.m. every Tue. at 1324 University Blvd. N., 240-1009, jazzlandcafe.com.

JAZZ IN ST. AUGUSTINE Live jazz is featured nightly at Rhett’s Piano Bar & Brasserie, 66 Hypolita St., 825-0502.

ART WALKS & MARKETS

NORTH BEACHES ART WALK Galleries are open 5-9 p.m. Feb. 20 from Sailfish Drive in Atlantic Beach to Neptune Beach and Town Center, 249-2222, nbaw.org.

AMELIA ISLAND BOOK FESTIVAL The festival kicks off with Danny Ellis’ concert, 7-9 p.m. Feb. 20 at St. Peter’s Burns Hall, 801 Atlantic Ave. ($20); writer workshops 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Feb. 21 at FSCJ’s Cook Nassau Center, 76346 William Burgess Blvd., Yulee ($85). Author Extravaganza with nearly 100 fiction, nonfiction, children’s and YA authors, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at Recreation Center Complex, 2500 Atlantic Ave., Fernandina Beach, 624-1665, ameliaislandbookfestival.com.

DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts and crafts and local produce are offered 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Feb. 21 at Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 353-1188.

WINTER RAM Local and regional art, food artisans and

ADVERTISING PROO This is a copyright protected proof © vendors and a farmers market are featured from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Feb. 22 at the market under the Fuller Warren bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., Riverside, free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com.

UPTOWN SATURDAY NIGHT The self-guided tour features galleries, antique stores and shops open 5-9 p.m. Feb. 22 and every last Sat. in St. Augustine’s San Marco District, 824-3152.

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET RAM returns with local and regional art, food artists and vendors and a farmers market, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. March 1 and every Sat. through Dec. 20 under the Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com.

MUSEUMS

ALEXANDER BREST MUSEUM & GALLERY Jacksonville University, 2800 University Blvd. N., Arlington, 256-7371, arts.ju.edu. The permanent collection features carved ivory, Chinese porcelain, pre-Colombian artifacts and more.

AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY 233 S. Third St., Fernandina Beach, 261-7378, ameliamuseum.org. The children’s exhibit, “Discovery Ship,” allows kids to pilot the histroic ship, hoist flags and learn about the history of Fernandina’s harbor.

BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTROY PARK 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, beachesmuseum.org. The exhibit “Don Bernardo de Gálvez y Madrid, Spanish Hero in the American Revolution” is displayed through March 1.

CAMP BLANDING MUSEUM 5629 S.R. 16 W., Camp Blanding, Starke, 682-3196, campblanding-museum.org. Artwork, weapons, uniforms and other artifacts from the activities of Camp Blanding during World War II are displayed along with outdoor displays of vehicles from WWII, Vietnam and Desert Storm.

CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM Flagler College, 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530, flagler.edu/crispellert. “The Object Tells a Story,” an exhibit of African-American folk art from Florida, runs through February.

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., Riverside, 356-6857, cummer.org. The artistic and devotional contexts of painting is explored through 21 works, 19 of which are borrowed from collections in the United States and Germany. “One Family: Photographs by Vardi Kahana,” an exhibit by the Israeli photographer detailing four generations of her family, is on display through April 27. Florida State University Professor William Walmsley displays his work through July 8. “The Human Figure: Sculptures by Enzo Torcoletti” is on display through September.

JACKSONVILLE MARITIME HERITAGE CENTER 2 Independent Dr., Ste. 162, Downtown, 355-1101, jacksonvillemaritimeheritagecenter.org. The permanent collection includes steamboats, nautical-themed art, books, documents and artifacts.

KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992, rain.org/~karpeles/jaxfrm.html. “Mark Twain” includes original letters, writings and illustrations on exhibit through April 26. “New Works” features Joe Segal's sculptural works through February. The permanent collection includes other rare manuscripts.

LIGHTNER MUSEUM 75 King St., St. Augustine, 824-2874, lightnermuseum.org. The permanent collection features relics from America’s Gilded Age, exhibited on three floors.

MANDARIN MUSEUM & HISTORICAL SOCIETY 11964 Mandarin Rd., Mandarin, 268-0784, mandarinmuseum. net. Exhibits regarding Harriet Beecher Stowe and the Civil War vessel Maple Leaf are on display, as well as works by Mandarin artists.

MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 366-6911, mocajacksonville. com. Ingrid Calame’s exhibit “Tarred Over Cracks” runs through March 9, part of Project Atrium in Haskell Atrium Gallery. “Material Transformations,” in which seven artists uncover symbolism through unconventional substances, runs through April 6. UNF Gallery presents “Bede Clarke: Barbara Ritzman Devereux Visiting Artist Exhibition” through March 9.

The Gold Key portfolio show features works by 15 winners of Northeast Florida Scholastic Art Awards show, through March.

MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank, 396-6674, themosh.org. “Uncovering the Past: Archaeological Discoveries of North Florida” through August.

VISITOR INFORMATION CENTER 10 W. Castillo Dr., St. Augustine, 825-1000, staugustine-450.com/journey.

“Journey: 450 years of the African-American Experience” is exhibited through July 15.

GALLERIES

ABSOLUTE AMERICANA ART GALLERY 77 Bridge St., St. Augustine, 824-5545, absoluteamericana.com. Romero Britto’s sculptures and limited-edition prints are featured.

AMIRO ART & FOUND GALLERY 9C Aviles St., St. Augustine, 824-8460, amiroartandfound.com. “heArt,” a collection of original works by local artists – jewelry, mosaics, pottery, paintings and more – runs through February. Sculptures by Alexander Wilds are on display.

THE ART CENTER MAIN GALLERY 31 W. Adams St., Downtown, 355-1757, tacjacksonville.org/main.html.

February’s featured artist is Annelies Dyksgraaf. “Valentines” artwork is on display. Paintings, pastels, sketches and photography by a diverse group of the center’s member artists

is also displayed.

THE ART CENTER PREMIER GALLERY 50 N. Laura St., Downtown, 355-1757, tacjacksonville.org/premier-gallery. “A Celebration of Cultures” exhibit runs through March 6.

BUTTERFIELD GARAGE ART GALLERY 137 King St., St. Augustine, 825-4577, butterfieldgarage.com. The artist-run gallery features a wide range of traditional and contemporary PROMISE OF BENEFIT art by several local artists.

CORSE GALLERY & ATELIER 4144 Herschel St., Riverside, 388-8205, corsegalleryatelier.com. Permanent artworks on display include several by artists Kevin Beilfuss, Eileen Corse, Miro Sinovcic, Maggie Siner, Alice Williams and Luana Luconi Winner.

FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928, firststreetgalleryart.com. Mermaid artwork is on display in all media types by local artists including Linda Olsen, Mary Hubley, Tracy Womack, Pat Livesay and JoAnne Adams, through April 1.

FLORIDA MINING GALLERY 5300 Shad Rd., Southside, 425-2845, floridamininggallery.com. The permanent works on display feature a wide range of contemporary art by emerging artists.

FSCJ NORTH CAMPUS ART GALLERY 4501 Capper Rd., Northside, 766-6785, fscj.edu. The exhibit “Talismans and Champa Temples of Vietnam” features rubbings and photos by James Kemp, through March 4.

GALLERY725 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 5, Atlantic Beach, 345-9320, gallery725.com. Works and hand-crafted gifts by local artists are featured, along with a selection of national and international works.

THE GALLERY AT HOUSE OF STEREO 8780 Perimeter Park Ct., Ste. 100, Southside, 642-6677, houseofstereo.com.

Painting, art glass, photography, woodcrafts, pottery and sculpture are featured.

GEORGIA NICK GALLERY 11A Aviles St., St. Augustine, 806-3348, georgianickgallery.com. The artist-owned studio displays Nick’s sea and landscape photography, along with local works by oil painters, a mosaic PROMISE artist, potter, OF BENEFIT photographer and author.

HASKELL GALLERY & DISPLAY CASES Jacksonville International Airport, 14201 Pecan Park Rd., Northside, 741-3546. Paintings by Candace Fasano and Marie Shell, examining beauty in the natural world, are displayed through March 28 in Haskell Gallery before security. John Cheer’s decorative wall plates and sculpture, inspired by the sea’s energy and nature, are displayed through April 7 in Connector Bridge Art display case before security. Photographer John Adams’ “Evanescent Trawlers of the South” series examines the vessels from Southern harbors, displayed through April 4 in Concourse A and C display cases after security.

HIGHWAY GALLERY floridamininggallery.com/exhibitions/ the-highway-gallery. Nine artists – Nathaniel Artkart Price, Ken Daga, Ashley C. Waldvogel, Brianna Angelakis, Christina Foard, Linda Olsen, Sara Pedigo, Zach Fitchner and Russell Maycumber – are featured on digital billboards throughout the city in collaboration with Clear Channel through July.

LUFRANO INTERCULTURAL GALLERY 1 UNF Dr., Student Union Bldg. 58E, Ste. 2401, Southside, 620-2475. Jacksonville native Elizabeth Brown Eagle’s exhibit, “Visions of Grace,” features mixed-media photo collages based on her experiences working with Samburu and Maasai tribes in Northeastern Kenya and the Xhosa people in Port Elizabeth, South Africa. The exhibit is displayed through March 21.

PALENCIA FINE ARTS ACADEMY AND GALLERY 701 Market St., St. Augustine, 819-1584, palenciafineartsacademy.com.

Stacie Hernandez’s show “Elements,” about the power of natural elements, runs through March 21.

PLANTATION ARTISTS' GUILD & GALLERY 94 Amelia Village Circle, Amelia Island, 432-1750, artamelia.com. Spanish oil paintings by Dionisio Rodriquez are exhibited through March 8.

REDDI ARTS 1037 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-3161, reddiarts.com. Works by local artists are featured, with a focus on “emerging artists for emerging collectors.”

SAWGRASS VILLAGE ARTS GALLERY 1520 Sawgrass Village Dr., Ponte Vedra, 273-4925, villageartspvb.com.

Impressionistic Florida Landscapes by Laurel Dagnillo are displayed through March 29.

ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., St. Augustine, 824-2310, staaa.org. The 90th anniversary juried exhibition presents newly acquired artwork including an unveiling of “Lost Colony,” runs through March 2.

SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 201 N. Hogan St., Ste. 100, Downtown, 553-6361, southlightgallery.com. The UNF ArtSpace exhibit features works by Ladnier Scholarship recipient Nina Avis, and by runners-up Eman Abdulhalim and Jordyn Rector. Valentine-themed works by Michael Dunlap, Jane Shirek, Pam Zambetti and Taylor McDonald are featured through February.

SPACE:EIGHT GALLERY 228 W. King St., St. Augustine, 829-2838, spaceeight.com. Lowbrow, pop surrealism, street and underground art by nationally and internationally acclaimed artists is featured.

For a complete list of arts events, go to folioweekly.com/ calendar. To submit your arts-related event, email djohnson@ folioweekly.com. Deadline for print is 4 p.m. Mon., 10 days before publication. Due to space constraints, not all events appear in print.

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FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31

DINING DIRECTORY To have your restaurant listed, contact your account manager or Sam Taylor, 904.260.9770 ext. 111 staylor@folioweekly.com DINING DIRECTORY KEY

Average Entrée Cost: $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up = Beer, Wine = Full Bar C = Children’s Menu = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner *Bite Club Certified! = Hosted a free Folio Weekly Bite Club tasting. Join at fwbiteclub.com.

BOJ = 2013 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH, YULEE

BARBERITOS, 1519 Sadler Rd., 277-2505. 463867 S.R. 200, Ste. 5, Yulee, 321-2240. F Southwest made-to-order fresh: burritos, tacos, quesadillas, nachos. Handcrafted salsa: tomatoes, cilantro, onions, peppers. $$ C L D Daily BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality in upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ C L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. 3rd St., 277-5269. F In historic building, family-owned spot has eclectic cuisine: homemade veggie burgers, fresh seafood, made-from-scratch desserts.

Inside or on oak-shaded patio. Karibrew Pub has beer brewed onsite. $$ C L D Tue.-Sat.; L Daily CIAO ITALIAN BISTRO, 302 Centre St., 206-4311. Authentic Italian fare in an upscale bistro: pizzas, pasta dishes, entrées, Italian wines. $$$ D Nightly DAVID’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, 802 Ash St., 310-6049.

In Historic District. Fresh seafood, prime aged meats, rack of lamb served in an elegant, chic spot. $$$$ D Nightly HALFTIME SPORTS BAR & GRILL, 320 S. 8th St., 321-0303.

Sports bar fare: onion rings, spring rolls, burgers, wraps, wings. $ L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444. F In renovated 1887 shotgun house. Favorites: jambalaya, French toast, macn-cheese, vegan, vegetarian selections. Dine inside or on the porch. $$ C B L D Daily LULU’S @ THOMPSON HOUSE, 11 S. 7th St., 432-8394.

F Creative lunch menu: po’boys, salads and seafood little plates served in a historic house. Dinner: fresh local seafood, Fernandina shrimp. Reservations recommended. $$$ C R Sun.; L D Tue.-Sat. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400. F See Riverside. BOJ. $ L D Mon.-Sat. THE MUSTARD SEED CAFE, 833 TJ Courson Rd., 277-3141.

Awarded Snail of Approval. Casual organic eatery and juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juice, coffee, herbal tea. $$ B L Mon.-Sat. THE PECAN ROLL BAKERY, 122 S. 8th St., 491-9815.

Historic district. More than nuts; sweet & savory pastries, bagels, cookies, cakes, breads, cronuts, breakfast items. $ B L D Wed.-Sun. PLAE, 80 Amelia Village Cir., 277-2132. Bite Club. Omni Amelia Island Plantation Spa & Shops. Bistro-style venue has an innovative menu: whole fried fish and duck breast. Outdoor dining. $$$ D Mon.-Sat. SALTY PELICAN BAR & GRILL, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811.

F Killer ICW sunset view from 2nd-story outdoor bar. T.J. and Al offer local seafood, Mayport shrimp, fish tacos, po’boys, the original broiled cheese oysters. $$ C L D Daily SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652.

F BOJ. Oceanfront place serves award-winning handmade crab cakes, fresh seafood, fried pickles. Outdoor dining, openair 2nd floor, balcony. $$ C L D Daily THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711. F Oceanview dining, inside or on the deck. New menu: Steaks, seafood, nightly specials, healthy options. $$ L D Daily TIMOTI’S FRY SHAK, 21 N. 3rd St., 310-6550. F Casual seafood spot has fresh, local wild-caught shrimp, fish, oysters, blackboard specials, seafood baskets. $ C L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. 8th St., 261-6310.

F This spot in an old gas station offers blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ B L Mon.-Sat.

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 8818 Atlantic Blvd., 720-0106. F See San Marco. $$ C L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd. F See Baymeadows. $ C B L D Daily RACK ’EM UP BILLIARDS, 1825 Univ. Blvd. N., 745-0335.

F Cigar & hookah lounge, billiards tables, full kitchen, subs.

200+ imported, domestic beers. $ R Sat.-Sun.; D Nightly

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

ALE PIE HOUSE, 3951 St. Johns Ave., 503-8000. Pizza made your way, subs, paninis, calzone, stromboli, wraps, dinners.

Gluten-free, vegan cheese available. $$ C L D Daily BAGEL LOVE, 4114 Herschel St., Ste. 121, 634-7253 BOJ. Yankee-style bagels, sandwiches, wraps, soups, bakery items, fresh-squeezed OJ, coffee, smoothies, tea. Homecooked turkey, chicken, roast beef. Free Wi-Fi. Locally owned and operated. Outdoor patio dining. $ C B L Daily THE CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966. F

32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014

BOJ. Middle Eastern/Mediterranean fare. Patio, hookah lounge. Wi-Fi, bellydancers, hookahs. $$ L D Daily ESPETO BRAZILIAN STEAK HOUSE, 4000 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 40, 388-4884. F Churrascaria’s gauchos carve the meat to your plate from serving tables. $$$ D Tue.-Sun. FLORIDA CREAMERY, 3566 St. Johns Ave., 619-5386.

Premium ice cream, fresh waffle cones, milkshakes, sundaes and Nathan’s grilled hot dogs, served in Florida-centric décor.

Low-fat and sugar-free choices. $ C L Mon.-Sat. THE FOX RESTAURANT, 3580 St. Johns Ave., 387-2669.

F Owners Ian & Mary Chase offer fresh diner fare, homemade desserts. Breakfast all day. Burgers, meatloaf, fried green tomatoes. Local landmark for 50+ years. $$ C L D Daily GREEN MAN GOURMET, 3543 St. Johns Ave., 384-0002.

F Organic/natural products, spices, teas, salts. $ Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 4530 St. Johns Ave., 388-8828. F See San Marco. $$ C L D Daily LET THEM EAT CAKE! 3604 St. Johns, Ste. 2, 389-2122.

Artisan bakery. Coffee, croissants, muffins, cupcakes, pastries, desserts. Cakes made-to-order. $ Tue.-Sat. MOJO NO. 4 URBAN BBQ & WHISKEY BAR, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670. F BOJ. Southern blues kitchen. Pulled pork, Carolina barbecue, chicken-fried steak, Delta fried catfish, hummus, shrimp & grits, specialty cocktails. $$ C B L D Daily SAKE HOUSE #5 JAPANESE GRILL SUSHI BAR, 3620 St. Johns Ave., 388-5688. F See Riverside. $$ L D Daily SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., Ortega, 387-1000.

F Down-home cooking from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, fried chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings.

BYOB. $$ C L D Mon.-Sat. TERRA, 4260 Herschel St., 388-9124. Local, sustainable creative world cuisine. Small plates: pork belly skewers, chorizo stuffed mushrooms; entrées: lamb chops, seared tuna, ribeye. Craft beers, onsite organic garden. $$ D Mon.-Sat.

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., 731-4300. F BOJ. See Beaches. $ C L D Daily BROADWAY RISTORANTE & PIZZERIA, 10920 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 3, 519-8000. F Family-owned-&-operated Italian pizzeria serves calzones, strombolis, wings, brick-oven-baked pizza, subs, desserts. Delivery. $$ C L D Daily INDIA’S RESTAURANT, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777. F Authentic Indian cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetable dishes, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ L Mon.-Sat.; D Nightly LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 8206 Philips Hwy., 732-9433. F See San Marco. $$ C L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., 737-7740.

8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F Piles ’em high, serves ’em fast. Natural meats, cheeses are hormone-, antibioticand gluten-free; rolls are gluten-free. $ C B L D Daily MANDALOUN MEDITERRANEAN LEBANESE CUISINE, 9862 Old Baymeadows Rd., 646-1881. F Bite Club. Authentic Lebanese cuisine, charcoal-grilled lamb kebab. Bellydancing Fri.-Sat. Outdoor seating. $$ L D Tue.-Sun. PATTAYA THAI GRILLE, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1, 646-9506. F Authentic, family-owned since 1990, Thai restaurant. Extensive menu of traditional Thai, vegetarian, new-Thai includes curries, seafood, noodles, soups. Lowsodium, gluten-free dishes, too. $$$ L D Tue.-Sun. PIZZA PALACE, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., 527-8649. F See San Marco. $$ C L D Daily STICKY FINGERS, 8129 Point Meadows Way, 493-7427. F Memphis-style rib house slow-smokes meats over hickory.

Award-winning ribs, barbecue, rotisserie chicken, signature sauces. Screened patio. $$ C L D Daily

BEACHES

(Locations are Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Ctr., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002. F BOJ. 20+ years, seven locations. New York-style & gourmet pizzas. $ C L D Daily BUDDHA THAI BISTRO, 301 10th Ave. N., 712-4444.

F Proprietors are from Thailand; dishes made with fresh ingredients from tried-and-true recipes. $$ L D Daily CAMPECHE BAY CANTINA, 127 1st Ave. N., 249-3322. F Chili rellenos, tamales, fajitas, enchiladas, fish tacos, fried ice cream, margaritas. $$ C D Nightly CASA MARIA, 2429 S. 3rd St., 372-9000. F See Springfield. $ C L D Daily CULHANE’S IRISH PUBLIC HOUSE, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595. Bite Club. Irish pub run by County Limerick sisters. Shepherd’s pie, corned beef; gastro pub menu. $$ C R Sat. & Sun.; D Tue.-Sun. ENGINE 15 BREWING CO., 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217, 249-2337. F BOJ. Gastropub fare: soups, salads, flatbreads, specialty sandwiches, including BarBe-Cuban and beer dip. Craft beers. $ C L D Daily GREGORY PAUL’S, 215 4th Ave. S., 372-4367. Greg Rider offers freshly prepared meals, catering. $$ Mon.-Fri. LANDSHARK CAFE, 1728 3rd St. N., 246-6024. F Locally owned & operated. Fresh, right-off-the-boat local seafood, fish tacos, houseground burgers, wings, handcut fries, tater tots; daily specials. $$ C L D Daily; R Sun. LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1222 3rd St. S., 372-4495. F See San Marco. $$ C L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 657 N. 3rd St., 247-9620. F See

TASTY ELEGANCE: Kelly Schaad (left) and Mike Renauld show of f an American kobe beef burger, smoked bacon with kataifi onion rings and prosciutto-wrapped local grouper with roasted butternut squash and blue cheese butter, at North Beach Bistro in Atlantic Beach. Photo: Dennis Ho Baymeadows. $ C B L D Daily LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 1st St., Beaches Town Ctr., Neptune Beach, 249-2922. F Beaches landmark. Locally roasted coffee, bagels, flatbreads, sandwiches, desserts.

Indoors or out; patio, courtyard. $$ B L D Daily M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Ctr., Atlantic Beach, 241-2599. F BOJ. Medure Bros. offer burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes. Indoors or out. $$ L D Daily MARLIN MOON GRILLE, 1183 Beach Blvd., 372-4438.

F Sportfishing-themed casual spot. Fresh crab cakes, burgers, daily specials, craft beers, Orange Crushes, fresh-cut fries. $$ C R Sun.; D Wed.-Mon. MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1018 3rd St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600. F Bite Club. BOJ. Funky spot serves gourmet pizzas, hoagies, salads. Pies range from Mighty Meaty to vegetarian like Kosmic Karma. $ C L D Daily MEZZA LUNA PIZZERIA RISTORANTE, 110 1st St., Beaches Town Ctr., Neptune Beach, 249-5573. F Bistro fare (20+ years), gourmet wood-fired pizzas, herb-crusted mahi mahi.

Indoors, patio. $$$ C D Mon.-Sat. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT & BLUES BAR, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636. F BOJ. Funky Southern blues kitchen. Pulled pork, Carolina-style barbecue, chicken-fried steak, Delta fried catfish. $$ C B L D Daily NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach, 372-4105. Bite Club. Veal osso buco, calypso crusted mahi mahi with plantain chips. $$$ C L D Daily POE’S TAVERN, 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7637. F American gastropub. Gourmet burgers, ground in-house, handcut fries, fish tacos, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ C L D Daily RAGTIME TAVERN & SEAFOOD GRILL, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 F 30+ years. Popular seafood place has lots of Best of Jax readers poll awards. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. $$ L D Daily RENNA’S PIZZA, 592 Marsh Landing Pkwy., 273-3113.

F See Mandarin. $$ C L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 1018 3rd St. N., 372-4456. F BOJ. Signature tuna poke bowl, fresh sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp. Open-air space. $$ C L D Daily SHIM SHAM ROOM, 333 1st St. N., Ste. 150, 372-0781. F BOJ. Seasonal menu of “cheap eats”: bar bites, chicken & waffles, badass fries, tacos. $$ D Nightly WIPEOUTS GRILL, 1585 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 247-4508. F Casual sports spot serves burgers, wings, fish tacos in a chill atmosphere. $ C L D Daily

DOWNTOWN

AVOCADOS, 311 W. Ashley St., Ste. 1, 683-9947. Mac & cheese, Southwestern wrap, French dip. Fresh ingredients, cooked to order. $ B L D Mon.-Sat. CAFÉ NOLA @ MOCAJAX, 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911.

Museum of Contemporary Art. Shrimp & grits, sandwiches, fish tacos, desserts. $$ L Mon.-Fri.; D Thur. & ArtWalk CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282. F Owner/chef Sam Hamidi serving Italian fare 35+ years: veal, seafood, pizza. Homemade salad dressing. $$ C L D Mon.-Sat. CHOMP CHOMP, 106 E. Adams St., 762-4667. F Chefinspired street food: panko-crusted chicken, burgers, chinois tacos, bahn mi, barbecue. $ L Tue.-Sat.; D Fri. & Sat. DE REAL TING CAFÉ, 128 W. Adams St., 633-9738. F Caribbean spot features jerk or curried chicken, conch fritters, curried goat, oxtail. $ L Tue.-Fri.; D Fri.-Sat. FIONN MACCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT, Ste. 176, Jax Landing, 374-1547. F BOJ. Fish & chips, black-and-tan brownies, Guinness lamb stew. $$ C L D Daily ZODIAC GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283. F American & Mediterranean fare, casual spot. Panini, vegetarian dishes,

daily lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. $ L Mon.-Fri.

FLEMING ISLAND

BRICK OVEN PIZZERIA & GASTROPUB, 1811 Town Center Blvd., 278-1770. F Family-owned-and-operated; offers freshly made brick-oven pizzas, specialty burgers, melts, wraps, craft beers. Gluten-free items. $$ C L D Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1571 C.R. 220, Ste. 100, 215-2223. F See San Marco. $$ C L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999. F See Beaches. Bite Club. BOJ. $ C L D Daily MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. F BOJ. See Beaches. $$ C B L D Daily WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198. F Real fish camp serves gator tail, freshwater catfish, traditional meals, daily specials on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. $ C L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly YOUR PIE, 1545 C.R. 220, Ste. 125, 379-9771. F Bite Club.

Fast, casual pizza concept: Choose from 3 doughs, 9 sauces, 7 cheeses and 40+ toppings to create your own pizza pie.

Subs, sandwiches, gelato. $$ C L D Daily

INTRACOASTAL WEST

AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F 2013 BOJ. See Beaches. $ C L D Daily CASTILLO DE MEXICO, 12620 Beach Blvd., Ste. 19, 998-7006. F 15+ years. Extensive menu served in authentic Mexican décor. Weekday lunch buffet. $$ L D Daily EPIK BURGER, 12740 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 105, 374-7326. F 34+ burgers of grass-fed beef, ahi tuna, all-natural chicken; vegan items; gluten-free options. $ L D Mon.-Sat. LA NOPALERA MEXICAN, 14333 Beach Blvd., 992-1666.

F See San Marco. $$ C L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 642-6980.

F See Baymeadows. $ C B L D Daily MAHARLIKA HALL & SPORTS GRILL, 14255 Beach Blvd., Ste. E, 699-0759. Filipino-Am restaurant/market. Pancit bami, lumpia, turon strudle, halo halo. $-$$ C R L D Daily MY MOCHI FROZEN YOGURT, 13546 Beach Blvd., Ste. 1A, 821-9880. See St. Johns Town Center. $ Daily TIME OUT SPORTS GRILL, 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 223-6999. F Locally-owned-&-operated grill. Hand-tossed pizzas, wings, wraps. $$ L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly

JULINGTON CREEK

PIZZA PALACE, 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, 230-2171. F See San Marco. $$ C L D Daily SAUCY TACO, 450 S.R. 13 N., Ste. 113, 287-8226. F Light Mexican, American influences. 40 beers on draft. $$ C B, Sat.-Sun.; L D Daily

MANDARIN

AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F BOJ. See Beaches. $ C L D Daily ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199.

Dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant). Greek beers. $$ L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. BRAZILIAN JAX CAFE, 9825 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 20, 880-3313. F Steaks, sausages, chicken, burgers, fish, hot sandwiches, fresh ingredients. $$ B L D Mon.-Sat. BROOKLYN PIZZA, 11406 San Jose Blvd., 288-9211.

13820 St. Augustine Rd., 880-0020. F Brooklyn Special Pizza is a fave. Calzones, white pizza, homestyle lasagna. $$ L D Daily GIGI’S RESTAURANT, 3130 Hartley Rd., 694-4300. F Prime rib & crab leg buffet Fri.-Sat., blue-jean brunch Sun., daily

BITE-SIZED

ADVERTISING PROOF

This is a copyright protected proof © HEALTHY POURS: Whole Foods Market in Mandarin hosts a multicourse craft beer dinner with different breweries almost monthly; seating is limited to 20 guests. Photo: Caron Streibich

Perfect Harmony

Food + Beer = An Awesome Synergy

T

he marriage of food and beer is synergistic.

It opens the door to creativity on the chopping block. Multicourse dinners featuring a single brewery’s curated selection of beers have been popular nationwide for years; locally, these half-liquid collaborations are taking place about once a month at Whole Foods Market in Mandarin. (Pre-sale tickets, ranging from $35-$40, include all of your food and beer.)

At the most recent dinner, Kristine Day from Sierra Nevada Brewing Company and Whole Foods’ Rachel Deremer hosted a five-course pairing that included diverse beer selections: Sierra’s robust Bigfoot Barleywine, slightly tart Brux ale, wheat Kellerweis, hoppy Ruthless Rye IPA and a collaboration ale, Ovila Abbey Quad, as well as a welcoming simple pale ale served upon arrival. All were hearty pours, and you got a logo-emblazoned keepsake pint glass.

After we were seated, Day gave an overview of Sierra Nevada and the company’s history, and explained the brewing process and various components that comprise beer.

For show-and-tell, a jar of Cascade finishing hops was passed from table to table.

With a warm welcome and pair of manchego cheese-stuffed prosciutto-wrapped medjool dates that were all things savory, salty and sweet, the evening took off with a pour of the deeply hued Bigfoot Barleywine. Strong, and boldly flavored, it clocked in at a hefty 9.6 percent alcohol content.

Selecting the right beer to complement a dish is like winning the food lottery. Generally speaking, beer’s carbonation helps to rid the tongue of fat, readying it for the next forkful.

Hop-forward beers work well with fattier foods, helping to counterbalance rich sauces and lessening the dense feeling in your mouth.

Malt-forward beers are better for spicy foods, as the malt’s subtle sweetness tames the heat.

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Following a bouillabaisse swimming with shrimp and mussels — paired with a coppercolored American wild ale called Brux — came a simple palate cleanser, a light mix of shredded cabbage tossed with blood orange, pomegranate arils, Clementine segments and cilantro, and dressed with a ginger citrus vinaigrette. This was matched with Kellerweis, a wheat ale brewed with Hefeweizen ale yeast.

None of the flavors overpowered another.

For the main course? A generous plate of smoked beef tenderloin with roasted potatoes and carrots, served with the hoppy Ruthless IPA, a somewhat spicy IPA with notes of fruit, citrus and herbs.

The dessert course (so perfect!) featured a dense roast cherry and spiced cardamom cake with creamy pistachio gelato, offset by the rich sweetness of the 10.2 percent Ovila Abbey quad — a heady beer with aromas of caramel, rich malt and dark fruit. Counterintuitively, perhaps, the beer’s sweetness helped lessen the dessert’s sweetness, enhancing instead of outshining it.

If you’re wondering how it all comes together, Deremer says that after she gets a list of the evening’s featured beers, she brainstorms with other chefs from the store’s PROMISE OF BENEFIT prepared foods department. “We study the descriptions and flavor profiles for each beer and decide on a complementary dish for each beer selection,” Deremer explains. After developing the recipes, the chefs prepare and test most of the items beforehand to ensure the flavors really do pair well with the brews.

The once-monthly (except during the holidays) dinners, held on a Thursday, are capped at about 20 attendees and typically sell out in advance. Go to wholefoodsmarket.com for details.

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with purchase of $25 or more EAT IT TOO: The dessert course featured a dense roast cherry and cardamom cake with creamy pistachio gelato, which was offset by the rich sweetness of the 10.2 percent Ovila Abbey quad — a heady beer with aromas of caramel, rich malt and dark fruit. The beer’s sweetness helps to lessen the dessert’s sweetness.

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FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33

ADVERTISING PROOF GRILL ME!

DINING DIRECTORY

A WEEKLY Q&A WITH

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FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., Lakewood, 636-8688. F New upscale sushi spot serves fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ C L D Daily MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., San Jose, 732-7200. F BOJ. See Beaches. $$ C B L D Daily URBAN ORGANICS, 5325 Fairmont St., Spring Park, 398-8012. Weekly coop every Monday that offers local, fresh fruits and vegetables in bags of 10, 20 or 30 pounds.

NAME: Michael Acker RESTAURANT: Safe Harbor Seafood Restaurant & Market, For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770.

4378 Ocean St., Mayport Village FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE 268-3655 BIRTHPLACE: Aliceville, Ala. AT YEARS IN THE BIZ: 18+ FAVORITE RESTAURANT (other than mine): The Emerald in Austin, Texas FAVORITE COOKING STYLE: Country-style Southern FAVORITE INGREDIENTS: potatoes,Rep butterMP_ and, of Produced by KAC_ Checked byGarlic,Sales SUPPORT ASK FOR ACTION course, bacon IDEAL MEAL: Anything Mom fixes when I get to go home.

NOTABLE RESTAURANT EXPERIENCE: Working the Friday night line while my appendix ruptured.

INSIDER’S SECRET: Freshness comes through – overcooking kills quality.

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: Maurice Jones-Drew CULINARY TREAT: Lots of bacon!

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breakfast, lunch, dinner buffets. $$$ B R L D Daily LA NOPALERA, 11700 San Jose Blvd., 288-0175. F See San Marco. $$ C L D Daily LARRY’S, 11365 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 674-2945. F See Baymeadows. $ C B L D Daily KAZU JAPANESE RESTAURANT, 9965 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 35, 683-9903. 17+ years of sushi skills. Uni, toro, Jaguar, Florida sunrise, spectrum, rock shrimp tempura, jalapeño shrimp. $$ L D Daily RACK ’EM UP BILLIARDS, 4268 Oldfield Crossing Dr., 262-4030. See Arlington. $ R Sat.-Sun.; D Nightly RENNA’S PIZZA, 11111 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 12, 292-2300.

F Casual New York-style pizzeria. Calzones, antipasto, parmigiana, homemade breads. $$ C L D Daily

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

ARON’S PIZZA, 650 Park Ave., 269-1007. F Family-owned restaurant has eggplant dishes, manicotti, New York-style pizza. $$ C L D Daily THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Road, 272-5959. Upscale restaurant. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup. Homemade desserts. $$$ D Tue.-Sat. LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1930 Kingsley Ave., 276-2776. F See San Marco. $$ C L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 700 Blanding, Ste. 15, 272-3553.

1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 1330 Blanding, 276-7370. 1404 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove Springs, 284-7789. F See Baymeadows. $ C B L D Daily PREVATT’S SPORTS BAR & GRILL, 2620 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 17, Middleburg, 282-1564. F Neighborhood sportsbar.

Familiar fare, spirits. $$ C L D Daily RENNA’S PIZZA, 6001 Argyle Forest Blvd., Ste. 16, 771-7677. F See Mandarin. $$ C L D Daily TED’S MONTANA GRILL, 8635 Blanding Blvd., 771-1964.

See St. Johns Town Center. $$$ C L D Daily THAI GARDEN, 10 Blanding Blvd., Ste. B, 272-8434.Pad Producedkraw by powh, cs roasted Checked

by Sales Rep ss duck, kaeng kari. Fine wines, imported, domestic beers. $$ L Mon.-Fri.; D Nightly

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PONTE VEDRA, NW ST. JOHNS

ALICE & PETE’S PUB, 1000 PGA Tour Blvd., Sawgrass Marriott, 285-7777. Dominican black bean soup, Pete’s Designer club sandwich. Outside dining. $$$ L D Daily AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A, 543-1494. F BOJ. See Beaches. $ C L D Daily JJ’S LIBERTY BISTRO, 330 A1A N., Ste. 209, 273-7980.

Traditional French cuisine: escargot, paté, steak frites, crêpes.

Specials, pastries; French wines. $$ L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 830 A1A N., Ste. 6, 273-3993. F See Baymeadows. $ C B L D Daily RESTAURANT MEDURE, 818 A1A N., 543-3797. Dishes with international flavors. Small© plates. $$$ D Mon.-Sat. 2013 TABLE 1, 330 A1A N., Ste. 208, 280-5515. Upscale, casual.

Sandwiches, fl atbreads, burgers, entrées. $$$ L D Daily

RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE

34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014

AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F BOJ. See Beaches. $ C L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 869 Stockton St., Stes.

1-2, 855-1181. F BOJ. Small-batch, artisanal approach to roasting coffee. Organic, fair trade. $ B L Daily GINA’S DELICATESSEN, 1325 Cassat Ave., 353-9903. In Duval Honda showroom. Mediterranean-style sandwiches. Nawleansstyle beignets, café au lait with chicory. $ B L Daily GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET 2007 Park St., 384-4474.

F BOJ. Juice bar has certified organic fruit, vegetables.

Artisanal cheese, 300+ craft/import beer, 50 organic wines, produce, meats, wraps, raw, vegan. $ B L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794.

7859 Normandy Blvd., 781-7600. 5733 Roosevelt Blvd., 446-9500. 8102 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 1, 779-1933. F See Baymeadows. $ C B L D Daily MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., Murray Hill, 389-4442. F Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, by the pie or the slice. $ L D Mon.-Sat. THE MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434. Ahi tuna tacos, goat cheese enchiladas, gouda quesadillas, chicken

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK, ST. NICHOLAS

enchiladas. Indoor, patio. $$ C L D Daily O’BROTHERS IRISH PUB, 1521 Margaret St., 854-9300.

F Traditional Irish: shepherd’s pie with Stilton crust, Guinness mac-n-cheese, fish-n-chips. Patio. $$ C L D Daily SAKE HOUSE #1 JAPANESE GRILL SUSHI BAR, 824 Lomax St., 301-1188. F Traditional Japanese cuisine, fresh sushi, sashimi, kiatsu, teriyaki, hibachi in an authentic atmosphere. Sake. A real tatami room; outside seating. $$ L D Daily SUN-RAY CINEMA, 1028 Park St., 359-0049. F Beer (Bold City, Intuition Ale Works), wine, pizza, hot dogs, hummus, sandwiches, popcorn, nachos, brownies. $$ Daily SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside Ave., Ste. 204, 384-2888. F Sushi rolls: Monster, Jimmy Smith, Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite.

Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. Patio. $$ L D Daily

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F BOJ. See Beaches. $ C L D Daily BACK 40 URBAN CAFÉ, 40 S. Dixie Hwy., 824-0227. F Caribbean-flavored wraps, upside-down chicken potpie, local seafood. Wi-Fi. $ C L Sun.; L D Mon.-Sat. CARMELO’S MARKETPLACE & PIZZERIA, 146 King St., 494-6658. F New York-style brick-oven-baked pizza, fresh sub rolls, Boar’s Head meats, cheeses, garlic herb wings.

Outdoor seating, Wi-Fi. $$ L D Daily THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655. Updated Southern. Fresh, local ingredients from area farms. Glutenfree, vegetarian. Fried green tomato bruschetta, blackened fish, shrimp & grits. $$$ C L D Wed.-Mon. GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., Anastasia Island, 824-8244. F 25+ years; menu changes daily. Gypsy chicken, seafood, tofu, duck, veal. $$ R Sun.; L D Daily THE HYPPO, 15 Hypolita St., 217-7853 (popsicles only). 1765 Tree Blvd., Ste. 5, 342-7816. F Popsicles, coffee pour-overs, cold-brew coffees. Handcrafted sandwiches. $ Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F See Beaches. Bite Club. BOJ. $ C L D Daily MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova St., 342-5264. F BOJ. See Beaches. $$ C B L D Daily THE ORIGINAL CAFÉ ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311. F Coffee drinks, vegetarian meals, Southern comfort dishes. $ B L D Daily PACIFIC ASIAN BISTRO, 159 Palencia Village Dr., 305-2515.

F BOJ. Chef Mas created 30+ unique sushi rolls; fresh sea scallops, Hawaiian-style poke tuna salad. $$ L D Daily

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER

BLACKFINN AMERICAN GRILLE, 4840 Big Island Dr., 345-3466. Classic American fare: beef, seafood, pasta, flatbreads. Indoors, patio. $$$ C R L D Daily BRIO TUSCAN GRILLE, 4910 Big Island Dr., 807-9960.

Upscale Northern Italian. Wood-grilled, oven-roasted steaks, chops, seafood. Indoors or al fresco on the terrace. $$$ C R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily M SHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000. F BOJ. See Beaches. $$ L D Daily MY MOCHI FROZEN YOGURT, 4860 Big Island Dr., Ste. 2, 807-9292. Non-fat, low-calorie, cholesterol-free frozen yogurts. 40+ toppings. $ Daily OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr., 900-7730. BOJ. Tapas, small plates of Spanish, Italian flavors: ceviche fresco, pappardelle bolognese, lobster ravioli. 240-bottle wine list, 75 by the glass; craft spirits. $$ R, Sun.; D Nightly RENNA’S PIZZA, 4624 Town Crossing Dr., Ste. 125, 565-1299. F See Mandarin. $$ C L D Daily SEASONS OF JAPAN, 4413 Town Center Pkwy., 329-1067.

Casual-style restaurant serves Japanese and hibachi-style fare, sushi, quick-as-a-wink. $$ C L D Daily TED’S MONTANA GRILL, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 998-0010.

Modern classic comfort food. Bison, signature steaks, gourmet burgers. Crab cakes, cedar-plank salmon, desserts, private label Bison Ridge wines. $$$ C L D Daily

SAN JOSE, LAKEWOOD

EMPEROR’S GENTLEMAN’S CLUB 4923 University Blvd.

W., Lakewood, 739-6966. Upscale steakhouse features steaks, burgers, seafood and wings. $$ L D Daily

BASIL THAI & SUSHI, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190. F Pad Thai, curries, sushi, served in a relaxing environment.

Dine indoors or on the patio. $$ L D Mon.-Fri., D Sat. PIZZA PALACE 1959 San Marco Blvd., 399-8815. F Family-owned. Homestyle cuisine: spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones. Ravioli, lasagna, parmigiana. Outside dining. $$ C L D Daily THE GROTTO WINE & TAPAS BAR, 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726. Varied tapas menu of artisanal cheese plates, empanadas, bruschettas, homestyle cheesecake. 60+ wines by the glass. $$$ Tue.-Sun. LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1631 Hendricks Ave., 399-1768. F Tamales, fajitas, pork tacos. Some La Nops offer a full bar. $$ C L D Daily MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922. Chef Matthew Medure’s flagship place. Fine dining, Europeanstyle atmosphere. Artfully presented cuisine, small plates, extensive martini/wine lists. Reservations. $$$$ D Mon.-Sat. PULP, 1962 San Marco Blvd., 396-9222. Juice bar has fresh juices, frozen yogurt, teas, coffees made one cup at a time.

30 smoothies, some blended with fl avored soy milks, organic frozen yogurts, granola. $ B L D Daily SAKE HOUSE #2 JAPANESE GRILL SUSHI BAR, 1478 Riverplace Blvd., 306-2188. F See Riverside. $$ L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE

360° GRILLE IN LATITUDE 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., 3655555. F Familiar sportsbar favorites: seafood, steaks, sandwiches, burgers, chicken, pasta, pizza. Inside, patio. $$ L D Daily ALHAMBRA THEATRE & DINING, 12000 Beach Blvd., 6411212. Longest continuously running dinner theater features Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s menus coordinated with stage productions. Reservations suggested. $$ D Tue.-Sun. BUCA DI BEPPO, 10334 Southside Blvd., 363-9090.

Fresh Italian: lasagna, garlic mashed potatoes; 3 portion sizes (half-pound meatballs!); family-style. $$$ C L D Daily CASA MARIA, 14965 Old St. Augustine Rd., 619-8186. F See Springfield. $ C L D Daily FARAH’S PITA STOP CAFÉ, 3980 Southside Blvd., Ste. 201, 928-4322. Middle Eastern sandwiches, entrées, desserts, pastries, mazas (appetizers). $ C B L D Mon.-Sat. JJ’s BISTRO DE PARIS, 7643 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 105, 996-7557. Authentic French cuisine. Scratch kitchen: soups, stocks, sauces, pastries. $$ C L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff S., 641-6499.

4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F See Baymeadows. BOJ. $ C B L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 997-1955. F See Beaches. Bite Club. BOJ. $ C L D Daily OISHII, 4375 Southside Blvd., Ste. 4, 928-3223. Japanese fusion cuisine: fresh, high-grade sushi, lunch specials, hibachi. $$ C L D Daily SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY, 9735 Gate Pkwy. N., 997-1999. F Local seafood, steaks, pizzas, freshly brewed ales, lagers. Inside, outdoors. $$ L D Daily TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Court, 854-0426.

Bite Club. BOJ. Greek spot. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, traditional wines, desserts. Belly dancing. $$ C L D Daily TOMMY’S BRICK OVEN PIZZA, 4160 Southside Blvd., Ste. 2, 565-1999. F New York-style thin crust, brick-ovencooked pizzas – gluten-free; calzones, sandwiches fresh to order, Thumann’s no-MSG meats, Grande cheeses. Boylan’s soda. Curbside pick-up. $$ L D Mon.-Sat.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

CASA MARIA, 12961 N. Main St., Ste. 104, 757-6411. F Family-owned-and-operated. Authentic Mexican: fajitas, seafood, hot sauces, tacos de asada. $ C L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner, 764-9999. F See Baymeadows. $ C B L D Daily RENNA’S PIZZA, 840 Nautica Dr., Ste. 117, 714-9210. F See Mandarin. $$ C L D Daily SAVANNAH BISTRO, 14670 Duval Rd., 741-4404. F Low Country Southern fare, twist of Mediterranean and French at Crowne Plaza Airport. Crab cakes, New York strip, she crab soup, mahi mahi. Rainforest Lounge. $$$ C B L D Daily STICKY FINGERS, 13150 City Station Dr., 309-7427. F See Baymeadows. $$ C L D Daily

ASTROLOGY

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Sitting Bull, Deepak Chopra & Chicken Coops ARIES (March 21-April 19): A New Mexico woman wrote to tell me that after reading my horoscopes for three years in Santa Fe Reporter, she decided to stop. “I changed my beliefs,” she said. “I no longer resonate with your philosophy.”

On the one hand, I was sad I’d lost a reader. On the other hand, I admired her for being able to transform her beliefs, and for taking practical action to enforce her shift in perspective. That’s the kind of purposeful metamorphosis I recommend. What ideas are you ready to shed? What theories no longer explain the nature of life to your satisfaction? Be ruthless in cutting away thoughts that no longer work for you.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): On the African savannas, waterholes are crucial for life.

During the rainy season, there are enough to go around for every animal species to drink and bathe PROMISE OF BENEFIT in comfortably. But the dry season shrinks the size and number of the waterholes. Impala may have to share with hippopotamuses, giraffes with warthogs. Use this as a metaphor to speculate about your future. I guess the dry season will soon be arriving in your part of the world. Waterholes may dwindle, but that could prove to be lucky, because it will bring you into contact with interesting life forms you might not have otherwise met.

Unexpected new alliances may emerge.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In Arthurian legend, Camelot was the castle where King Arthur held court and ruled his kingdom. It housed the Round Table, where Arthur’s knights gathered for important events. Until recently, I’d always imagined the table was relatively small and the number of knights few, then I discovered that several old stories say there was enough room for 150 knights. It wasn’t an exclusive, elitist group. I suspect you experience a similar evolution.

You may be wishing you could be part of a certain circle, but assume it’s too exclusive or selective to welcome you as a member. It’s more receptive and inclusive than you think.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In his book The Storytelling Animal: How Stories Make Us Human, literary scholar Jonathan Gottschall muses on the crucial role imagination plays in our lives. “[The] average daydream is about 14 seconds long and [we] have about 2,000 of them per day,” he says. “In other words, we spend about half of our waking hours – one-third of our lives on earth – spinning fantasies.”

I bring this to your attention because you’re entering a phase when daydreams serve you well. They’re more likely than usual to be creative, productive and useful.

Monitor closely.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Renowned Lakota medicine man Sitting Bull (1831-1890) wasn’t born with that name. For the first years of his life, he was known as Jumping Badger. His father renamed him when he was a teenager after he demonstrated exceptional courage in battle. Consider a similar transition in the months ahead. You’re due to add some gravitas to your approach. The tides of destiny are calling you to move more deliberately and take greater care with details. Are you willing to experiment being solid and stable? The more willing you are to assume added responsibility, the more interesting that responsibility will be.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): The English noun “offing” refers to the farthest reach of the ocean that’s still visible as you stand on the beach. It’s a good symbol for something that’s at a distance from you and yet still within view. I suggest that you take a long thoughtful look at the metaphorical offing that’s visible from where you stand. You’ll be wise to identify what’s looming in the future, so you can start working to ensure you get the best possible version.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): A large plaster Buddha statue was in a modest temple in Bangkok, Thailand from 1935-’55. No one knew its age or origins. In May 1955, workers were struggling to move the heavy, 10-foot icon to a new building on temple grounds when it accidentally broke free of the ropes that secured it. As it hit the ground, a chunk of plaster fell off, revealing a sheen of gold beneath. Religious leaders authorized the removal of the remaining plaster surface.

Inside was a solid gold Buddha that’s worth $250 million today. Research later revealed the plaster had been applied by 18th-century monks to prevent the statue from being looted. There’s a comparable sequence unfolding in the weeks ahead. What will it take to free a valuable resource concealed within a cheap veneer?

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Holistic health teacher Deepak Chopra suggests we all periodically make this statement: “Every decision I make is a choice between a grievance and a miracle. I relinquish all regrets, grievances and resentments, and choose the miracle.” Is that too New Age? Drop any prejudices you may have and make it your own. It’s the precise formula you need to spin this week’s events in the right direction – working for you rather than against you.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Russian composer Dmitri Shostakovich wrote his Eighth Symphony in a mere two months during the summer of 1943. He worked on it in an old henhouse on a former chicken farm. The location helped relax him, letting him work with extra intensity. Find a retreat like that sometime soon. You’d benefit from going off alone to a sanctuary and having nice long talks with your ancestors, the spirits of nature and your deepest self. If it’s not practical now, what’s the next best thing?

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Is there one simple thing you can do to bring a bit more freedom into your life? An elegant rebellion against an oppressive circumstance? A compassionate breakaway from a poignant encumbrance? A flash of unpredictable behavior to help you escape a puzzling compromise? I’m not talking about a huge, dramatic move to completely sever all your burdens and limitations. I’m imagining taking a small step to get a taste of spaciousness and a hint of greater fluidity.

That’s next week’s assignment.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): There are 15,074 lakes in Wisconsin, but more than 9,000 of them have never been offi cially named. That’s strange. In my view, everything is worthy of the love bestowed by giving it a name. I’ve named every tree and bush in my yard, as well as each egret that frequents the creek flowing by my house. I understand that at the Findhorn community in northern Scotland, people even give names to their cars, toasters and washing machines. According to UK researchers, cows with names are happier: They produce more milk. Your assignment? Name at least some of the unnamed things in your world. It’s a great time to cultivate a closer, warmer personal relationship with everything.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): From 2010’12, Eric Garcetti was an actor on the TV cop shows The Closer and its spin-off series Major Crimes. He played the mayor of Los Angeles. Then in 2013, he ran for the office of L.A.’s mayor in real life, and won. It’s a spectacular example of Kurt Vonnegut’s idea that we tend to become what we pretend to be.

Your assignment? Make good use of this principle.

Experiment with pretending to be the person you’d like to become.

Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

© 2014

FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35

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POWERHOUSE HOTTIE I remember how rough your hand felt on mine as we reached for the same 15-pound dumbbell. I recommended lifting gloves to help keep your hands soft. You liked my Magnum PI-style moustache. You said you may try to grow one. Let’s get together and watch “Silence of the Lambs.”

When: Feb. 2. Where: Powerhouse Gym. #1335-0212 YOU’VE GOT MAIL We were both at the library to check our emails. You must be “without home” like me. Your blonde unkempt hair was appealing. You caught my good eye when you walked in. I’d love to have a cup of recycled coffee with you some day.

I’m available 24/7. When: Feb. 3. Where: Public Library. #1334-0212 SHARK TEETH & T&A You: At the end of the bar with your braid just lying on your chest. I bought you and your friends a shot but I really just wanted to buy you one. Round two? When: Feb. 5. Where: Flying Iguana. #1333-0212 FROZEN FOODS HOTTIE You: Green pants, white shirt, brown boots, beautiful black hair. Me: Tall, slim, blue shirt, curly Afro. I see you in the frozen foods section on your lunch hour sometimes.

You look like you just know how to own life. Teach me how? When: Jan. 22. Where: Winn-Dixie, Edgewood & Commonwealth. #1332-0212

© 2012

BEAUTIFUL LADY IN BROWN HAT ISU at Bonefi sh Grill having drinks with a girlfriend and we made eye-to-eye contact numerous times. You wore a large rimmed brown hat and a long plaid skirt. I had on a gold shirt with a green vest. Would love to have dinner together at Bonefish. Hope to hear from you. When: Jan. 28. Where: Bonefish Grill. #1331-0205

FolioWeekly

NEED A BRUSH Saw you at Bento. You were confidently comfortable in your underarmor and ruffled hair. You paid for my shrimp tempura. Meet me under the two paintings Feb. 14 at 11 p.m. When: Feb. 1. Where: Bento. #1330-0205 WE LOCKED EYES You parked grey pickup by Walgreen’s.

You walked by, looked; we locked eyes. I was driving metallic SUV. We spoke, flirted, smiled. You left, I went behind Walgreens. You still there; locked eyes again. Still looking, you drove off. We honked horns. Me: Black female.

You: White male. Let’s see where it goes. When: 3 p.m. Dec. 22. Where: Walgreen’s parking lot, Normandy. #1329-0129 ADVENTURE LANDING BASKETBALL DAD Handsome dad of teen shooting hoops near the snack ©You: 2014 area. Me: Mom of birthday boy. Lots of eye contact. Hoping for more! When: Jan. 17. Where: Adventure Landing/ Blanding Blvd. #1328-0129 IN LINE AT WALGREENS You: Tall, handsome, beard, shopping with young daughter. Me: Blue-eyed brunette, ponytails, ballcap, black workout gear behind you in line. We made eye contact. Hope it was your daughter’s presence, not my lack of makeup, that kept you from saying, “Hi.” When: Jan. 18. Where: Walgreens @ C.R. 210 & C.R. 2209. #1327-0122 BRIGHT YELLOW HEELS You: Tall brunette at Target on San Jose/295 on 19 Jan.; short black dress, black tights. Your bright yellow heels caught my eye. You checked out faster than I did; I couldn’t catch up in the parking lot. Me: Tall, in a blue hat. We made eye contact right before you checked out.

When: Jan. 19. Where: Target on San Jose/295. #1326-0122

36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014

RED DRESS BISTRO AIX Me: Awesome. You: Decent, in a red dress. Called you a name starting with “J.” You left. Let’s do it again. When: January 11. Where: Bistro Aix. #1325-0115 DOES THE BODY GOOD You in your sexy black uniform. Me in my Green Bay shirt.

I want to work you out sometime. Please? When: Jan. 5.

Where: Lynch’s Irish Pub. #1324-0108 SEXY SHOES AT PUBLIX You: Super classy blonde waiting at pharmacy. Me: Tall guy feeling electricity between us! I had to wait and had a seat. You were leaving and walked my way smiled and said “good luck”. I said “nice shoes” and then enjoyed the view as you walked away. Let’s talk! When: Dec. 29, 2013.

Where: Publix @ University Blvd. #1323-0108 YOU FOLLOWED ME OUTSIDE Me: Girl by myself. You: With friends dancing. You offered to buy me drink, I was drinking water, you followed me outside and asked for my #, I told you I was leaving for VA Monday.

Should have given you my #, don’t want to start the New Year by being afraid. I’m in Daytona for a month. When: Dec. 27, 2013. Where: Ragtime. #1322-0108 WATCHING THE STEERS GAME Your legs blew me away from Jags during season’s last week. Me: black pullover, black pants, bald. You can get me in shape for any kind of marathon. SWM Southside, enjoy sports, cooking, walking the beach. Rest you legs on my lap anytime, as we sit by candlelight and watch NYE ball drop.

Happy New Year! When: Dec. 29. Where: Mudville Grille @ St. Nicholas. #1321-0108 BLACK CROWES BEAUTY You: Brown-eyed, dark-haired American Indian-looking goddess. Me: Tall, dark, brooding musician. Talked after the show. You admired my Crowes tat, I admired your cheekbones. Best dancer in venue, and kind conversationalist. Shared tequila after the show. Heard you’re single. Let’s get together. When: Oct. 7. Where: St. Augustine. #1320-1218 DURING JAGUARS 3RD WIN IN 11 DAYS! You: orange shirt, being a good dad taking your son to the game. Me: waiting on ramp. We had INTENSE eye contact, but could only chat for a minute. Have any kid-free time coming up? When: Dec. 5. Where: Jags Game. #1319-1218 MARGARITA MADNESS! Are YOU the guy at La Nopalera Third Street months ago?

You nearly fell off the stool when I asked if you were just passing through. Fun night! Laughter, good-natured teasing.

Loved your sense of humor; think you liked mine. Future connection? Me: Cute blonde English girl. When: Early Summer. Where: La Nopalera Jax Beach. #1318-1218 AVENUES MALL You wore a baby blue zip-up uniform well; sexy black frame glasses; some sort of pouch. Your personality shined through your gleaming smile. You were helpful with my phone troubles; confident – I like a man with confidence. Me: brown hair, brown eyes, black shirt, scarf. Hope this makes it to you. When: Nov. 22. Where: Avenues Mall AT&T. #1317-1218 BEAUTIFUL BLONDE Hi K_, I introduced myself when you sat across the bar. We made eye contact numerous times and observed some funny people in the bar. I’d love to get together, see if we have chemistry. My name starts with T. When: Nov. 14. Where: Jacksonville Ale House. #1316-1204

NEWS OF THE WEIRD Find That Genius!

Beijing Genomics Institute scientists are closing in on a technology to allow parents to choose, from several embryos, one most likely to yield the smartest offspring. London’s Daily Mail (in January, referencing recent work in Wired, The Wall Street Journal and The New Yorker) explained that BGI will have identified highpotential mathematics genes (by mapping cells of geniuses) so researchers can search for those among a couple’s array of embryos. Most embryos will yield gene arrays resembling their parents’, but one embryo is likely “better” — maybe much better. One Chinese researcher acknowledged the work’s “controversial” nature, “especially in the West,” but added, “That’s not the case in China.” The parental price tag on finding the smartest kid? Expensive, said a supporter, but less than upgrading an average kid via Harvard, or even a private prep school.

Can’t Possibly Be True

“This [was] my life,” said musician Boujemaa Razgui in December, referring to 13 handmade flutes he played professionally, “and now they’re gone.” Arriving in New York City from Madrid with the 13 woodwinds in his checked luggage, he was shocked to learn U.S. Customs had destroyed them without notice because “wood” is a restricted “agricultural” import. Unaware agents had apparently regarded them as mere bamboo. Razgui plays worldwide including, since 2002, with the Boston Camerata ensemble staged by the city’s Museum of Fine Arts.

Unclear on the Concept

Oregon inmate Sirgiorgio Clardy, 26, filed a handwritten $100 million lawsuit in January against Nike for inadequately marketing its Air

Jordans. Clardy, a convicted pimp, earned an “enhanced” penalty for using a “dangerous weapon” to maim a john, i.e., he stomped and kicked a man after accusing him of skipping out on a payment. The “dangerous weapon” was apparently his shoe. Clardy said Nike has some responsibility for his being incarcerated because it failed to label the shoe a “dangerous weapon.”

Saved by the Blimps

Americans who’ve grown used to hearing our nation is militarily without peer may have been shocked to learn in January (as CBS News reported in a Pentagon interview) that America has “practically zero capability” either to detect enemy cruise missiles fired at Washington, D.C., from offshore or, even worse, to “defend against [them].” The Pentagon’s interim makeshift solution to protect the U.S. capital, said an official, is to launch two blimps, soon, to float two miles up over a base in Maryland to try to spot any such missiles.

with purchase of $25 or more Not good with other coupons expires 3/31/14 FW

Smoke ’Em If You Got ’Em

Ed Forchion sits in a Burlington County, N.J., jail (where he’ll stay for a few more months), serving a term for marijuana possession. For 10 days each month until his release, though, the same judge who sentenced him promised to let him go smoke medical marijuana in California to relieve his bone cancer pain. Forchion was convicted of possession before New Jersey legalized medical marijuana. Update: Four days after a Trentonian columnist’s story about “Weedman” Forchion, and the subsequent Internet frenzy, Forchion’s judge commuted the final 130 days of his sentence and freed him.

Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net

© 2013

FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37

FOLIO WEEKLY PUZZLER by Merl Reagle. Presented by

PONTE VEDRA SAN MARCO SOUTHSIDE AVONDALE AVENUES MALL 2044 SAN MARCO BLVD. THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA 3617 ST. JOHNS AVE. 330 A1A NORTH 10300 SOUTHSIDE BLVD. 398-9741 388-5406 280-1202 394-1390

IQ Test

98 Rattle 100 Earlier than, once 1 Crawl space?

101 Expose the false 4 Cowboys or Indians, e.g. claims of 8 Express feature 104 Throws in 15 Beat pounder 105 Algerian soldier 18 Senior ___ Tour 107 Soothing gel 19 Quinn role 108 Mournful 20 Bedroom piece 111 Sot’s woe, briefly 21 Lament 113 Nude-beach visitors, 22 Bod examples? maybe 24 Flow slowers 116 Snits 26 “You’re kidding!”

120 Convert into cash 27 Health maintenance 123 Juicy gossip reaction organization?

124 Boatload of bucks 29 “Best in Show” org.

125 Made ___ 30 “I, Claudius” role 126 Bird’s cry 31 Role for Clark 127 Greek letter 33 Spanish 101 word 128 Panicked, in a way 36 Uses TurboTax, e.g.

129 Run into 38 French flag color 130 It sees things 41 Against all odds DOWN 43 Nickname in NBA lore 1 Order to the orch.

44 Flip 2 Repulsed reactions 46 Bar order 3 Longtime Indiana 51 Always’ opposite senator Evan 52 Bar order 4 Chef’s topper 54 Pull hard 5 Explodes 55 Grandson of Adam 6 1809-65 guy 56 Vulpine varmint 7 Physics concept 58 Sonnet unit 8 Boris’s partner 62 Spike on a set 9 Quest of early Spanish 63 Weaving aid explorers 64 Ike’s ex 10 The Mustangs’ sch.

65 Reluctant 11 One-third of a war film 67 Redgrave et al.

12 Chester White remark 68 Groundbreaking book 13 Higher tag number of 1963 14 Order: abbr.

73 Twinkling 15 Fishing basket 74 Homage 16 Eccentric 75 Pakistani language 17 Chilean change 76 Some people are 19 Dulcimer, e.g. under it 23 Angioplasties and such 77 New England team, on 25 Specially suited scoreboards 28 Hammer feature 79 Cinema canine 80 Deny any knowledge of 32 Etre, to Ed 34 Large amount 84 Yemeni port 35 Farthest from the hole 85 Big bird 37 www help feature 87 Global board game 38 Wedding band 89 Noted Strauss 39 Old slang for 90 Brief note? something 95 Cut, perhaps extraordinary 97 Wharf

40 Part of 130 Across 42 Guam’s group, the ___ Islands 43 All there, in a way 45 Meat buy 47 Chicago mayor before Emanuel 48 Turkish statesman Ismet (anagram of UNION) 49 First name of an innovative TV exec 50 Theories and such 53 Reason for a doctor’s visit 57 Piccolo kin 59 Walled city of Spain 60 Computer lists 61 Sherlock Holmes portrayer Jeremy ___ 66 Finger-painter 67 They’re tops 68 Work on Wall Street 69 Baseball advice, “___ where they ain’t” 70 Some Japanese immigrants 71 Foam 72 Kid’s vehicle 73 Tailless leaper 77 ___ lunch (quits working to eat)

ACROSS

1

2

3

4

18

5

6

23 27 32

40

41

44

45

51

52

56

121 122

9

10

A S I S E C A T E Y GE T AWH E S E X S E P I T WO A H S AGE GE N I G I V I T O E V E R S T Y I E I T T OH A L A L L OU OG L C Y S

11

12

A C O U R T I N

N J O A U G N S S I T Z O S A N T B E E L S MME U S O S UR K A P I YWH E F O L CU L O L D Y R S A S Y H E D O T S O 13

P A T T I

A N R E OG U NG D E C T R S HOR I E Y GA T N T H E E R A B U T R EMA E Y T COO OUR F L W I OME L R I L L SO L E 15

29

69

76

77

34

84

85

35

36

59

60

61

79

17

48

49

50

81

82

83

114

115

A N T

72

80 87 93

88

89

94

95

98

99

104

105

110

111 118

16

S O D S

67

75

86

109

P E E N

63

66

92

108

R A E R P P I R E E I L L E S S T WO F E E L E S O T OW R I T I N A T E X

37

62

74

103

H O R D E

55

71

91

S H E A R

43

70

78

N O B O D Y

O C H R E

30

47

58

T I G H T

G E T A H I T

25

28 33

E F T S

21

65

107

A C O S T A

14

54

97

38 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014

T E R I A L A N P S I H S A I S A UN T C L E E RU T E S SO P T H E SW I N T I L S A ND R E A R E I WA N R A S T I F E E N E A R A R T S

53

73

102

106 109 110 112 114 115 117 118 119

Solution to

46

64

90

99 101 102 103

Beatles, on the Flip Side

42

57

68

94 96

24

31 39

91 92 93

“Yikes!”

Line-item item “... without going ___” Like some screens Blue-green Repair shop in the comic strip “Shoe” Old blazer?

Cologne conjunction “The woods are lovely, dark ___” (Frost) Part of a three-piece Mexico’s national flower La Belle ___ “Platoon” star Novelist George P.W. who was P.M. of South Africa ___ of wind Take it like ___ Scatterbrain Willowy Political contest Order to Rex Powerless position?

It’s north of Vt. Burmese leader, 1907-95 How some songs are written Lamb raiser

20

26

101

8

19

22

38

7

78 81 82 83 86 88

119

112 120

96 100

106 113

116

117

121

122

123

124

125

126

127

128

129

130

BACKPAGE EDITORIAL

What About the Taxpayers?

Don’t solve Jacksonville’s pension crisis on the backs of its citizens

W

hile Bill Scheu is to be commended for taking on a difficult task as outlined in last week’s Folio Weekly [Cover Story, “Jacksonville’s Pension Crisis: An Explainer,” Ron Word, Feb. 12], it must be remembered that the task force, the mayor and the unions have forgotten the taxpayer. According to the Census, the private sector has been hit by salaries that have decreased during four of the last six years. The taxpayers are willing to pay for services, but there must be shared pain when it comes to pensions.

The pension plans that cover 7,030 city employees are owed $2.74 billion, and if we have a 7 percent guarantee during a repayment period lasting through 2036, we need to add another $2.78 billion, for a total repayment of $5.52 billion. That means the the annual payback would be around $240 million.

The discussion appears geared toward another millage increase to pay for the unfunded liability. This would be acceptable if the liability was not met last year by a tax increase from the city of Jacksonville. The average house valued at $125,000 after the homestead exemption had an increased annual payment of $176.

The average $100,000 rental unit, which has no homestead exemption, meanwhile, had an increase of $141 in annual expenses, requiring almost $12 per month in rent to cover these hidden taxes.

The idea of further increasing taxes to cover the retirement is wrong. Already 70 police officers have left the Jacksonville Sheriff ’s Office for jobs with better benefits. When these other communities address their pension issues, the grass may no longer be greener on the other side of the fence.

Tad Delegal points out in The Florida Times-Union that it costs about $100,000 to train a public safety officer. This cost is $7 million for the 70 officers lost, as opposed to the $5.52 billion that we have to pay toward the pension. While we do not want lose good officers, we may have to let some leave for those better pastures. The question now becomes, what do we provide our 7,030 COJ employees listed in the 2014 budget?

The 2014 COJ budget sheet shows $681.75 million for salaries and benefits. Of that amount, 21 percent, or $143.166 million, should be set aside for current pension expenses. And there’s the $150 million in unfunded liabilities that needs to be paid back. This leaves $55,274 per employee for salaries and other benefits. After benefits, the average salary would be about $41,000.

This is in line with the average salary in Jacksonville’s private sector. The total average compensation of $75,369 greatly exceeds the

average in the private sector.

In the private sector, there are two ways that employees save for retirement out of their salaries. One is socking away up to 8 percent through a 401(k) plan (and/or IRA), and the second is saving 6.2 percent through Social Security. The other 6.2 percent of the Social Security contribution is paid by the employer. If the employer has a good year — which many small businesses have not had for the past six years — it might match the 401(k) contribution, generally using a limit of 3 percent.

In the public sector, COJ pays 14 percent of the pension contribution and the employee pays 7 percent. The city is going through tough times and these contributions should be flipped, with employees permanently paying 14 percent, like workers in the private sector do, and COJ paying a minimum amount, set at 7 percent. When COJ revenues increase, the City Council can re-evaluate and approve an additional bonus contribution on a year-by-year basis. Flipping the contribution amounts will save the city about $25 million a year and will lower the employee’s salary after benefits to $38,130, temporarily.

There currently are a lot of COJ employees who retire with pensions from about their early 40s to early 50s, an age range that doesn’t need to change. However, in the private sector, funds cannot be withdrawn from a 401(k) until the employee is 59-1/2 years old. To receive Social Security, one must retire at age 62 for minimum benefits, age 66 for regular benefits and age 70 for the maximum benefits. Generally, private sector

might be around 40 percent of an employee’s retirement compensation. Let’s change the guarantee in the public sector to match that of the private sector.

Instead of an annual return that is now being negotiated at 7 percent, a guarantee of a 10-year annualized averaged return of 4 percent is more reasonable. If the funds made a 39 percent gain over the last 10-year period, the city would contribute 1 percent to bring the fund to 40 percent (4 percent per year average). Even during the Great Recession, the annualized 10-year average never would have been below 4 percent.

The payback using the 10-year annualized guarantee decreases to $182.4 million per year. While this is a substantial savings over the 7 percent guarantee, even this payment seems excessively high. However, by flipping the contributions the first-year pension liability overall is lowered by $25 million, and another $7.75 million is saved from the deferred pensions in year one, bringing us a $149.65 million liabilities payment (by year 10 this is lowered to $79.9 million).

The public employees will balk at these changes. For the 97.99 percent of us who are not city employees or their immediate families, this will keep our taxes or electric bills from increasing by $40 million. The 2.01 percent of the population directly affected by these changes will now be going through the same changes that we’ve experienced for the past 20 years (and to an extreme extent, for the last six years).

A very small number of city employees die in the line of duty, and a larger number are disabled. The city could set aside a fund

The taxpayers are willing to pay for services, but there must be shared pain when it comes to pensions. pensions don’t pay out until age 65.

The new public sector rule should be that employees who retire early should have their pension deferred to age 62, unless they’re disabled. If 90 percent of pensions are deferred, it would save the city almost $8 million in year one and about $80 million per year in years 10 through 30. Most city retirees would qualify for employment outside of government.

We should have as many as possible stay gainfully employed as long as possible. As an example, retired police officers can work as highly paid fraud investigators (a desk job) for the many local financial companies.

The guarantee for the pension that the COJ wants to accept is 7 percent. In the private sector, most 401(k) plans have no guarantee of return. The only real guaranteed payout these days is Social Security, which

to pay benefits to these individuals or their families at 75 percent of salary and full benefits up to age 66, income-tax free. If 2 percent of former city employees actually fall in these categories in any one year, the fund would have to carry $13.635 million. This is a reasonable amount to ensure the families are taken care of.

In conclusion, we’re looking at perhaps 30 mils of new taxes to pay for improving our library services and another 30 mils to bond our local share of dredging the port (this is just one possible solution, since other funding sources may be found for those). With many critical needs, we need to explore all other options before raising taxes again to support pensions that are out of line with the needs of the taxpayers.

Bruce A. Fouraker Mandarin

Folio Weekly welcomes Backpage Editorial submissions. Essays should be no more than 1,200 words and on a topic of local interest or concern. Email your Backpage to mail@folioweekly.com. Opinions expressed on Backpage are those of the author and do not necessarily refl ect those of the editors or management of Folio Weekly.

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40 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 19-25, 2014