Folio Weekly 02/04/15

2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015

FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 3

CONTENTS //

MAIL

FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015 • VOLUME 28 • NUMBER 45

Rein in the Pension

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27 FIGHTIN’ WORDS NEWS BOOK OF LOVE WINE & DINE

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PUBLISHER • Sam Taylor

staylor@folioweekly.com / 904.260.9770 ext. 111

EDITORIAL

EDITOR • Jeffrey C. Billman jbillman@folioweekly.com / ext. 115 SENIOR EDITOR • Marlene Dryden mdryden@folioweekly.com / ext. 131 A&E EDITOR • Daniel A. Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com / ext. 128 WRITERS-AT-LARGE Susan Cooper Eastman sceastman@folioweekly.com Derek Kinner dkinner@folioweekly.com CARTOONIST • Tom Tomorrow CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Rob Brezsny, John E. Citrone, Julie Delegal, AG Gancarski, Dan Hudak, Shelton Hull, MaryAnn Johanson, Pat McLeod, Nick McGregor, Cameron Meier, Jeff Meyers, Kara Pound, Scott Renshaw, Chuck Shepherd, Abigail Lake VIDEOGRAPHERS • Doug Lewis, Ron Perry INTERNS • Jessica Gilpin, Darby Moore

OUR PICKS MUSIC THE KNIFE MOVIES

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DESIGN

ART DIRECTOR • Chaz Bäck cback@folioweekly.com / ext. 116 SENIOR GRAPHIC DESIGNER • Dana Fasano dfasano@folioweekly.com / ext. 117 PHOTO EDITOR/GRAPHIC DESIGNER • Dennis Ho dho@folioweekly.com / ext. 122 DESIGN INTERN • Samantha Sotter design@folioweekly.com / ext. 117

BUSINESS & ADMINISTRATION BUSINESS MANAGER • Ashaley J. Oliver fpiadmin@folioweekly.com / ext. 119 VICE PRESIDENT • T. Farrar Martin fmartin@folioweekly.com

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MAGIC LANTERNS ARTS DINING DIRECTORY BITE-SIZED

35 36 40 42

ASTROLOGY 45 NEWS OF THE WEIRD 45 CROSSWORD 46 I SAW U 46

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4 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015

Regarding the Editor’s Note on Lenny Curry and Alvin Brown [“The Substance-Free Campaign,” Jeffrey C. Billman, Jan. 28]: It should be noted that Brown made the “no new taxes” promise when he ran for mayor in 2011. He did this in spite of the fact that the recession had eroded the tax base and the pension costs were out of control.

It took the adults in the room — the City Council led by Bill Bishop and John Crescimbeni — to make the tough decisions. It would appear that Brown remains clueless as to how to balance a budget and that Curry has never been involved in the city’s budgeting process.

While Curry is a CPA, it must be remembered that the financial people on the mayor’s staff were well-respected accountants working for major companies. He fired experienced people in municipal finance in order bring in these “experts.”

This change was supposed make the city government like private business; instead, these people failed to catch major errors in the budget.

There are no Downtown monies that can be used to pay for suburban police protection. The 2.62-square-mile Downtown area is a Community Redevelopment Area (CRA). Only funds based on the property values before the CRAs were formed in the early 1980s can go to the general fund. All revenues collected due to increases over the past 30plus years must go to Downtown redevelopment.

There are other funds available Downtown that could be used to pay for public improvements at The Jacksonville Landing. Instead, the mayor decided to use capital improvement bonds, which are citywide, to create political pork taxpayers cannot afford.

On the issue of pensions [Citizen Mama, “How to Waste $500K a Week,” Julie Delegal, Jan. 28]: The opinion piece must be understood for what it is. Delegal would have us continue a pension that is unfair toward taxpayers rather than renegotiate something that is fair to everyone. The public should understand that her husband, Tad Delegal, represents the Jacksonville police union on legal matters, including the pension. [Note: Tad Delegal’s representation contract with the Fraternal Order of Police ended in 2007. In recent years, he has represented individual officers, and he served on the city’s pension reform task force.]

Not just police and firemen, but all city employees need to be required to pay their fair share to resolve the pension issue. The overall unfunded liability for the three city funds is at least $2.6 billion.

This needs to be addressed by more than a tax increase — or a tax increase hidden as electric rate increase.

Many of us in the private sector pay 8 percent toward an IRA or 401K and 6.2 percent toward Social Security. In order to have parity, all city employees should be paying 14.2 percent into their pension funds. In addition, the retirement age needs to be increased one year at time over the next five years, and the DROP program needs to be dropped.

Of the three candidates for mayor, Brown has failed to lead in way that represents the taxpayers and Curry has had no involvement in the negotiations; only Bishop seems to have a clear understanding of what needs to be done to prevent the three pension funds from bankrupting us.

Bruce A. Fouraker

CORRECTION

Due to an editing error, last week’s Citizen Mama column wrongly stated that a court battle over changing pension benefits for current employees would be “protracted and uncertain.” These benefits are a matter of contract law and must be honored.

If you would like to respond to something that appeared in the pages of Folio Weekly, please send an email with your address and phone number (for verification purposes only) to mail@folioweekly.com.

FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5

THE DEVIL & KIMBERLY DANIELS

FIGHTIN’ WORDS

Why is the Jacksonville City Councilwoman spending campaign money to promote her book on demons?

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acksonville’s Shofar magazine, which derives its name from an old Hebrew word for a ram’s-horn trumpet blown before battle, bills itself as “a Bi-monthly publication that has an online and print circulation of more than 490,000 and is growing rapidly. It’s oversized page and voice command the attention of the most influential celebrities. If you are looking to promote your business, ministry, or product Shofar magazine is sure to ring the alarm making sure your cause, event, or campaign is both seen and heard” [all sic].

A Jacksonville City Councilwoman decided to promote all three — her business, ministry and product. And to do this, according to campaign finance records, she used campaign funds to purchase advertorial space in the magazine, but she didn’t include the disclaimers required by Florida Statutes Chapter 106 for political advertisements. At the very least, her $4,000 outlay is a questionable expenditure. Daniels has gotten money from everyone from W.W. Gay to the Fraternal Order of Police. Did they know their campaign checks were going to promote her book about demons?

On March 1, 2014, Kimberly Daniels listed, as a reelection campaign expenditure, $4,000 to Shofar for the purpose of “advertising.” (Thanks to Change4Jax.com for bringing this material to my attention.) But she didn’t place anything labeled as an advertisement in the magazine — not from her campaign, not from her political

worth noting, is accompanied by photos of her with Matt Shirk and Shad Khan.)

“The demon dictionary,” she continues, “gives believers spiritual secret intelligence on the devil that goes as far as to reveal ‘how our enemy thinks.’ We cannot know the mind Christ [sic] but we can have the mind of Christ.

Through God’s word He gives us insight on how the enemy thinks so that we can be ahead of the game and out-think him.”

(Daniels’ The Demon Dictionary: Know Your Enemy. Learn His Strategies.

DEFEAT HIM! is published

by Charisma House and retails in paperback for $11.99 at ChristianBook. com. The first in a threevolume series, it is described as an “in-depth glossary and study guide on demons [that] includes terminology, explanations, and examples of occult activity and cultic culture” that will “build your spiritual vocabulary, increase your knowledge of cultic and demonic words, names, places, and things, [and] bring light to areas of your life that the enemy wants to remain dark.”)

Even though she purchased space in Shofar with money from her campaign account, Daniels addressed politics only peripherally in the magazine, in a bizarre essay called “LeaderShift,” which includes some wacky conspiracy theories about city government. To wit: “Certain Special Interests [sic] Groups with finances and resources have declared that they will take all nine seats through their influence.” She also harangues an unnamed “group of ladies in our city [who] are vain enough to think they have the answer to every seat in the city” and a group that “has dared to declare destruction to the lives of certain city officials, just to get their seats.”

Her conclusion is similarly measured: “May the diseased parts of the vision for our city be removed and God have mercy on their souls.”

Again, nowhere does she declare this a political advertisement. This, though the law clearly states: “Any political advertisement that is paid for by a candidate, except a write-in

“May the DISEASED parts of the vision for our city be removed and GOD HAVE MERCY on their souls.”

— Kimberly Daniels action committee. What she did, instead, was use funds from her campaign treasury to promote her own Christian ministry.

She did this in the form of what are apparently pay-for-play, unlabeled-asadvertorial essays discussing her leadership style and her, shall we say, unique book.

In the magazine’s Spring 2014 issue, Daniels — the founder of Spoken Word Ministries, Kimberly Daniels Ministries International and Rhema Way City Church — promotes her new book in an essay headlined “The Demon Dictionary Is Released!” In it, she thanks every “Commander of the Morning” who has helped the book “find favor” with Walmart’s distribution arm, asking that every “Commander” order “1-5 Demon Dictionaries to plant a seed in someone’s life,” as she needs help to “penetrate the marketplace for Jesus.”

Daniels encourages readers to “not be afraid of the dark world. ‘We ought to be afraid of smoking cigarettes, marijuana, lying and cheating, and treating others wrong. We ought to afraid [sic] of living like hellions, and not being equipped by God to deal with situations without being suicidal, without being checked into mental institutions.’” (It is not clear whom or what she is quoting here. This section, it’s 6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015

candidate, and that is published, displayed, or circulated before, or on the day of, any election must prominently state: 1. Political advertisement paid for and approved by (name of candidate), (party affiliation), for (office sought); or 2. Paid by (name of candidate), (party affiliation), for (office sought).”

I called Shofar last Thursday. Angie Bree, a journalist, answered the phone. She described Shofar as an “inspirational, definitely not political” magazine, and explained how Daniels’ work ended up in there. “Yes, she did buy the space,” Bree said. “She did stuff with us a while ago, earlier, it’s been about a year. We don’t know the depth of what it was supposed to look like, but she got what she paid for.”

So, to sum: Out of her campaign fund, Daniels gave Shofar $4,000 — labeled on campaign documents as advertising — for certain considerations, which included promoting a book that has nothing to do with her campaign and everything to do with her private ministry and advertorials that did not include the seemingly required disclaimers.

When I called, Daniels insisted that she did nothing wrong. And she may be right.

Legally. Technically. A spokesperson for the Florida Elections Commission told me the FEC could not issue an opinion on the matter unless a citizen files a complaint, and even then the complaint would be confidential unless probable cause was established. A local expert on these things told me (on background) that because these are not expressly political communications, Daniels may have wiggle room on the disclaimers. Also, even though these ads are paid for with campaign funds, it’s not illegal to use that money to promote her private enterprise, the source added. Florida law only forbids candidates from using campaign money to defray non-campaign-related living expenses.

Shady, yes. Sleight of hand, sure. But perhaps not illegal. Technically. Just embarrassing as hell for her donors, who might not have known they were financing some nutty religious rants.

AG Gancarski twitter/aggancarski mail@folioweekly.com

Additional reporting by Derek Kinner.

FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7

NEWS

BAD NEIGHBORS

A fight over allegedly stolen utilities has apparently led to an internal JSO investigation

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isputes between neighbors are as old as civilization itself. We’ve all had them, or known of someone who has, or heard horror stories. In a sense, this story is no different: two neighbors quarreling over felled trees and damaged property and a busted septic tank and allegedly stolen electricity and water.

But this one also appears to have sparked an internal Jacksonville’s Sheriff ’s Office investigation into one of the warring factions, JSO Officer Chad Harris — whose wife, Katy Harris, is an assistant general counsel for the city of Jacksonville.

Jim Weeks, who lives in the Fort Caroline area, contacted Folio Weekly several weeks ago to complain about the Harrises’ alleged misdeeds and, more important, the JSO’s alleged unwillingness to treat his complaints with the seriousness they deserved.

As he explained in an email to a Folio Weekly writer [all sic]: “A Jacksonville police officer purchased the home next door and refurbished it. During the construction, I caught him, on video tape, stealing electricity and water from us. We reported it to JSO and they opened an investigation. Today we received word back about the investigation from the ethics department that states: ‘It was determined that the complaints against [officers’ name] are civil not criminal.’ So, according to JSO, utility theft is a civil matter and not criminal when it involves one of their officers.”

The Harrises moved next door to Jim and Linda Weeks, who have lived in their house on Spanish Bluff Drive since about 1998, though Linda’s grandparents built it in the mid-’50s,

Jim Weeks

cord still plugged into his outside outlet, though he can’t say for sure whether it had been there the whole time or whether the Harrises had been using it. (Weeks uses the JEA’s average monthly billing plan, so his monthly payments rarely vary.) He also says he allowed the contractors to use his water to mix cement to repair the retaining wall they damaged, but he discovered they were still using his water two weeks later.

Weeks became so frustrated that he called the JSO to complain about what he considered theft of his utilities, trespassing and damage to his property. But the JSO officers who initially investigated the case, as well as the detective, Juan Santiago, shrugged it off as a civil matter.

In so many words: If you think they stole from you, take them to court.

Weeks saw this as an example of cops protecting their own.

When Folio Weekly asked Santiago why he thought this situation was a civil rather than a criminal matter, Santiago declined to answer, saying “it’s still an open investigation.” The JSO’s public information office confirmed that the department is investigating Chad Harris, but it would not say what about or release any information about the investigation.

Still, from Santiago’s refusal to comment, it appears that the JSO is still conducting an active investigation into Weeks’ allegations.

In an interview, Katy Harris said she knew nothing about any JSO investigation into her husband and called it “sad” that a reporter was asking questions about this situation.

Katy Harris also said she and her husband bought the house from Jim Weeks’ brother: “The houses were owned by two brothers; we got the easement recorded.”

That statement does not appear to be accurate.

Jim Weeks’ brother, Bradley Weeks, has been dead since 2010 and never owned the home. The Harrises bought the house last February. No member of the Weeks family ever owned the Harrises’ home, the Weeks say.

When she and her husband bought their house a year ago, Katy Harris says, it needed a lot of work; no one had lived in it for a year prior. They cut down some trees to get a better view of the St. Johns River. One of them fell onto the Weeks’ property and busted their

The JSO officers who initially investigated the case, as well as the detective, shrugged it off as a civil matter. In so many words: IF YOU THINK THEY STOLE FROM YOU, TAKE THEM TO COURT. in February 2014. According to Jim Weeks, the problems began soon after. The Harrises’ contractor, he says, cut down several large trees that fell onto Weeks’ property, one of which damaged the septic tank; another is still lying on his property. He says he found the Harrises’ construction workers in his garage, and that they either used the river behind the houses as a toilet or walked to neighbors’ homes to ask to use their bathrooms because they had nowhere to go at the worksite. He says the contractors damaged the street in front of his house. He says the workers constantly blocked his driveway when they parked their trucks, and one of the contractors ran into and damaged his retaining wall.

And he says the Harrises ignored him and his wife when they complained.

But the biggest alleged problem, the supposedly criminal one, is the stolen utilities.

Jim Weeks says he gave the Harrises’ contractors permission to use both his water and electricity for a very short time. He allowed them to use his electricity for three hours to cut down a tree that could have damaged the power line to the Harrises’ home, he says. But three weeks later, Weeks says, he came home and saw the power 8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015

septic tank, according to three engineers who came out to inspect the septic tank and later spoke to Folio Weekly. Katy Harris counters that the tip of the Weeks’ tank was on her property, and claims that people had been complaining about it leaking for years.

The first part of that statement is true: Jim Weeks admits that the tip of the septic tank indeed crossed the property line, but says he paid a lot of money to have it moved back onto his property. The second part, however, does not appear to be correct.

The Duval County Health Department, which is almost always notified of septic tank complaints, has only one on file against the Weeks — made by the Harrises, in April, after the tree was cut down. Jim Weeks says he’s never received a citation.

It’s worth mentioning that, within his neighborhood, Jim Weeks is apparently known to complain about things. For instance, in a police report dated Aug. 11, 2014, Officer J.E. Wiggins writes that James Bennett, also Weeks’ neighbor, says that Weeks constantly lodges complaints to him: “I spoke with the complainants [sic] other neighbor … [who] stated the complainant is always in ongoing disputes with him.”

As to Jim Weeks’ complaint that the contractors had damaged his street, Bennett said that “most if not all the roadway has been damaged for several years,” according to the police report. “… The witness showed how several slabs of the roadway is [sic] only approximately half-an-inch thick and can easily be picked up.”

And last week, Jim Weeks decided he didn’t want this story told after all. In a series of emails, phone calls and visits to Folio Weekly’s office, he implored the magazine’s editor and a reporter to kill the story, and even offered to “compensate Folio for any time and money spent.” He told a reporter that he feared “retaliation,” and told the editor he was “frightened that we are going to be drawn into a lawsuit that we cannot afford to defend.”

After his requests to spike the story were rebuffed, Weeks relented. “I feel much, much better,” Weeks said in an email. “I admit that I became frightened — not because I had lost confidence in my position, but because I thought you had misunderstood some things. …

My wife also reassured me that I am absolutely doing the right thing. I have nothing to fear. I am telling the truth. I have been honest.”

Derek Kinner dkinner@folioweekly.com

MANY SPLENDORED THINGS year ago, I turned this Book of Love issue into a vehicle for a cause, a worthy cause, a cause I felt deserved Northeast Florida’s attention as we geared up for the winter Hallmark Holiday: marriage equality. Specifically, the fact that citizens of this state were denied the same rights that I and the rest of my hetero cohorts enjoy solely on account of whom they love and anachronistic prudery.

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I wrote a cover story about a friend of mine, Billy, whose long-term partner had died, and the hell he’d gone through afterward because they could not be joined in legal matrimony, and his subsequent efforts to change the law [“Marriage Equality. Now,” Feb. 5, 2014]. I knew that change was coming. I didn’t think love would win out this soon.

In January, of course, Florida became the 36th state to allow gay and lesbian couples to wed (sorry, Ronnie Fussell); 70 percent of the country now lives in states where gay marriage is permitted, and it’s rather likely the Supreme Court will settle things once and for all by summer.

Nor did I know that change was coming for Billy, too. Allow me to present this Very Special Update: On Valentine’s Day, I’ll be in Orlando attending his wedding to a man named Tony, one of the genuinely nicest and most quickwitted human beings I’ve ever encountered. They’ve known each other and been friends for years, but recently — and suddenly, so suddenly that their friends wondered whether they were pranking us — something clicked, and they are madly, passionately, get-a-room-you-guys in love with each other.

It’s very sweet.

It’s also a reminder of how unfettered and joyous and fun and weird love can be, of how people who’ve known each other for ages can one day see something different, of how we should treasure each and every moment we have with the ones we love, because life is short and precious and sweet — something I probably too often fail at, and you probably do, too.

If this year’s Book of Love has a theme, it’s that: a celebration of the strangeness of our romantic rituals. Inside, beyond the actual Book of Love messages some of you sent us and the voluminous Wedding Planner & Bridal Directory, we’ve offered our expert guide to the best and worst music to … well, you know … to. We’ve also taken a look at love in the digital age — meaning on Tinder, that newfangled dating app that mercifully came about long after I was off the market. (Trawling Match.com back in the day was bad enough.) And finally, we explored the dating and marriage habits of the South versus the rest of the country, just to see if we’re the outliers we imagine ourselves to be. (The answer is yes.)

So grab your sweetie and a bottle of wine, settle down by the fire pit — not too close, these pages burn — and join us for a slow ride on Folio Weekly’s roller coaster of love. (Say what.)

— Jeffrey C. Billman

WEDDING PLANNER B R I DA L D I R E C TO RY Gowns & T Tuxedos d ALFRED ANGELO

9344 Atlantic Blvd., Regency, 726-8851, alfredangelo.com Family-owned company has been making brides beautiful longer than any other in America. The affordable signature collection has up-to-the-minute designs and traditional looks, sizes 0-26W, and gowns for flower girls, mothers of the bride and attendants. The friendly, knowledgeable staff will help you every step of the way. Disney Princess wedding gowns are offered; OMG! We liked the Cinderella gown in particular.

BRIDALS & MORE 12226 Beach Blvd., Ste. 6, Southside, 434-6627, mybridalsandmore.com Family-owned-and-operated with more than 20 years of experience, this shop offers a full line of gowns. Veils, accessories, tuxedo rental are also featured.

THE BRIDAL SHOP AT THE AVENUES 9365 Philips Highway, Southside, 519-9900 Established in 1968, The Bridal Shop offers quality gowns for the bride, the mother and bridesmaids.

CONSIGNMENT COTTAGE 2037 University Blvd. N., Arlington, 744-9707 New and gently worn gowns, flower girls’ dresses, mothers’ dresses, formals. Plus sizes, veils, shoes, lingerie, handbags, jewelry.

DAVID’S BRIDAL 9400 Atlantic Blvd., Regency, 724-0909 9990 Southside Blvd., 519-8933 Large selection in a range of sizes, elegant, up-to-date formal wear for the wedding party.

LINDA CUNNINGHAM DESIGNS 1049 Kings Ave., Southbank, 399-4864, lindacunningham. com Offering custom-designed wedding gowns, bridesmaid, mother-of-the-bride dresses and cocktail suits, Linda Cunningham also has a large selection of custom samples.

LOVE A BRIDAL BOUTIQUE 434 Third St. N., Jax Beach, 242-9800, lovebridalboutique. com Upscale fashions by designers Monique Lhuillier, Jenny Yoo Bridal, Kathy Ireland, Stella York and Marisa are featured.

Gowns, accessories and jewelry are also available.

MICHAEL’S FORMAL WEAR & BRIDAL 1948 U.S. 1, St. Augustine, 824-3673, tuxedosbymichaels. com 4413 Town Center Pkwy., 645-3999 1910 Wells Rd., Orange Park Mall, 269-2213 13820 Old St. Augustine Rd., Mandarin, 262-2226 13141 City Station Dr., 751-3333 A full-service bridal shop,

ffamily-owned-and-operated, il d d t d offers ff ddesigner gowns and accessories. Tuxedos and suits, with all the extras, too.

MW TUX 4624 Town Crossing Dr., Stes. 101 & 119, St. Johns Town Center, 646-0966, menswearhouse.com 10300 Southside Blvd., Ste. 230, 363-8371 9501 Arlington Expwy., Ste. 310, Jacksonville, 725-5970 1939 Wells Rd., Orange Park, 264-9199 13141 City Station Dr., Ste. 101, Northside, 696-6162 Offers traditional and fashion tuxedos to rent or buy, like Calvin Klein, Ralph Lauren, Kenneth Cole. An in-store consultant can help with vests, shirts, shoes, cufflinks, suspenders, ties and cummerbunds.

PARK AVENUE BRIDAL 1101 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 121-A, Orange Park, 687-8928, parkavenuebridalinc.com Designer gowns, destination dresses,tuxedos, shoes, purses, jewelry, garters, guest books, cake knives, servers, candles and pillows.

THE SNOB 1990 San Marco Blvd., 396-2249, thesnob.biz A designer clothing, shoes and accessories consignment boutique offering a low-cost alternative for elegant, upscale fashion.

THE TAILOR SHOP 3083 Southside Blvd., Ste. 104, Jacksonville, 642-7780 Gowns are custom-made from silks, laces and charmeuse and other luxurious fabrics at The Tailor Shop. Custom tuxedos, alterations, bowties, cummerbunds, tuxedo shirts.

THE WEDDING LOFT 10210 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 5, Mandarin, 260-6400, dreamweddingsandhoneymoons.info This one-stop wedding resource and bridal boutique handles full-service wedding planning, bridal gowns, decorations, photography, accessories, invitations and custom sashes.

Jewelry/Accessories

ALLEN’S JEWELERS 13475 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 31, 221-9998, allensjewelers. com Full-service jeweler can custom-design engagement and wedding rings, plus jewelry for the bridal party, groomsmen’s gifts, watches and accessories.

CLASSIC JEWELERS 8221 Southside Blvd., Ste. 6, 641-8999, classicjewelers. com Engagement rings, wedding bands and custom designs in platinum, 18K and 14K gold and designer jewelry from D’Oro; custom bands can be fitted to existing rings. Engraving and gifts also available.

FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9

CREATIVE JEWELRY DESIGNS 607-8830 Consultant Laura Staley offers custom-made jewelry for brides and attendants for the wedding or any special event.

ESPLING JEWELERS 355 Marsh Landing Pkwy., Jax Beach, 280-7700 9825 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 40, Mandarin, 268-7975 450 S.R. 13 N., Ste. 105, Fruit Cove, 287-0035 Family-ownedand-operated for 43 years, full-service store carries gold and platinum wedding rings.

FAITH JEWELERS 1165 Edgewood Ave. S., Westside, 388-3340 This familyowned-and-operated store offers an extensive collection of fine pieces, ranging from diamond bridal and engagement jewelry to colored gemstone jewelry.

GLOBAL DIAMONDS 4870 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1, 515-5950, globaldiamondusa. com Offers engagement and bridal sets by A. Jaffe, Benchmark, Christian Bauer, Sylvie and Vatché, in a “no-risk shopping environment.” The certified stones themselves originate from a conflict-free source, according to the website.

HELZBERG DIAMONDS 10300 Southside Blvd., Ste. 1205, 363-8897 1910 Wells Rd., Orange Park Mall, 264-4322 Offers wedding bands, cufflinks, watches, pearls, and bridesmaids’ and groomsmen’s gifts.

HEMMING PLAZA JEWELERS 231 N. Hogan St., Downtown, 354-5959, hemmingplazajewelers.com Custom jewelry made onsite; designer styles, including distinct wedding sets.

JACOBS JEWELERS 204 Laura St., Downtown, 356-1655, jacobsofjacksonville. com Established in 1890, Jacobs’ bridal department offers fine china, silver, crystal, silverware, serving pieces and gifts.

MIRIAM’S FINE JEWELRY 1966 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville, 398-7393 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 105, Jax Beach, 339-0309 Miriam’s offers estate pieces and fine jewelry, custom-made bridal jewelry, engagement rings and wedding bands.

NEFF JEWELERS 7 Rohde Ave., St. Augustine, 829-5003, neffjewelers.com Specializing in custom designs in 14K, 18K and platinum; also offers vintage estate rings.

PICKETT BROTHERS JEWELERS 11481 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 403, Mandarin, 880-3292, pickettbrothersjewelers.com Fine jewelry is offered, including gold, gemstones, watches, pearls and diamonds. G.I.A. diamond-certified service.

SCOTT & SONS FINE JEWELRY 9900 Amelia Island Pkwy., Ste. 2, Fernandina Beach, 491-1550, scottandsons.com Bridal sets, engagement rings and bands, by Neil Saunders, EDB, Lloyd & Co. and Kwiat.

UNDERWOOD’S JEWELERS 2044 San Marco Blvd., San Marco, 398-9741 330 A1A N., Ste. 204, 280-1202 10300 Southside Blvd., Ste. 1520A, 394-1390, underwoodjewelers.com In business more than 80 years, Underwood’s offers brides and grooms elegant selections of the highest quality in diamonds, engagement rings, wedding bands and jewelry, with designers like David Yurman, Roberto Coin, John Hardy, DiModolo and Ippolita. A member of the American Gem Society, Underwood’s consistently wins Best Jewelry Store in our Best of Jax poll.

Registry/Gifts

AMIRO ART & FOUND 9C Aviles St., St. Augustine, 824-8460, amiroartand found.com Original pieces by local artists, jewelry, mosaics, paintings, pottery, sculpture and collages are available.

COTTAGE BY THE SEA 401 S. Third St., Jax Beach, 246-8411, cottagebythesea online.com This award-winning gift shop offers appropriate gifts and accessories for the couple.

COTTAGE BY THE SEASIDE 208 Fourth Ave. S., Jax Beach, 635-8053 Sister shop to Cottage by the Sea; features jewelry crafted by local artisans, as well as gifts and bridal accessories.

SIDNEY CARDEL’S SHORE DECOR & FABULOUS FINDS 412 S. Second St., Jax Beach, 372-4000, sidneycardels.com This shop offers dinnerware, furniture, home decor, accessories, gifts, invitations and knickknacks.

UNDERWOOD’S JEWELERS 3617 St. Johns Ave., Avondale, 388-5406, underwoodjewelers.com Underwood’s has registered brides since 1928, for the special things they’d never buy for themselves, like fine china, crystal, silver and gifts. The landmark business consistently wins Best Jewelry Store in our Best of Jax poll.

Invitations/Stationers

CELEBRATED OCCASIONS 8640 Philips Hwy., Ste. 8, Southside, 730-9203, celebratedoccasionsjax.com Custom announcements, invitations and stationery for the ceremony and reception are crafted of exquisite papers.

HIGHWAY PRESS 4810 Highway Ave., Riverside, 343-7006 Personalized letterpress wedding invitations are custom-designed, printed on high-quality paper by the area’s only letterpress print shop.

PINEAPPLE POST 2403 S. Third St., Jax Beach, 249-7477, 800-680-8018, pineapplepostgifts.com Offers engraved, thermographed and printed stationery by Crane, William Arthur, Lilly Pulitzer.

STUDIO MULBERRY CREATIVE 1360 Prince Rd., St. Augustine, 451-9400, studiomulberry. com Specializing in hand-crafted stationery, with a

collaborative approach, from hand-painted details to custom embossing.

THINGS VERY SPECIAL 5816 St. Augustine Rd., Mandarin, 733-4820, theinvitationshop.net Invitations and personal stationery, using eco-friendly Crane 100 percent cotton papers, and Carlson Craft and Birchcraft Studios. Guest books available.

WELLS & DREW 3414 Galilee Rd., Southside, 800-342-8636, wellsdrew. com Engraved invitations are the apex of wedding stationery and Wells & Drew can create the perfect suite of invitation necessities, working with the bride and groom to get just the right look.

Florists/Décor

A FANTASY IN FLOWERS 110 Cumberland Park, St. Augustine, 268-7022, fantasyflowersjax.com Full-service florist offers consultations and creations for delivery or purchase.

A HAPPILY EVER AFTER FLORAL 4503 Irvington Ave., Ste. 3, Avondale, 874-6553, ahappilyeverafterfloral.com Custom-designed bouquets for the bridal party, table decorations, centerpieces, boutonnieres and corsages.

DEERWOOD FLORIST 3837 Southside Blvd., Ste. 10, 641-9705, deerwoodflorist. com Designs for ceremony and the reception. After a consultation, they’ll help you stay within your budget and enhance each aspect of that special day.

FLOWER WORKS 510 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd., St. Augustine, 824-7806, flowerworksfl.com Full-service shop offers artistic designs using specialty global flowers and foliage.

KUHN FLOWERS 3802 Beach Blvd., San Marco, 398-8601, 800-458-5846, kuhnflowers.com 832 A1A N., Ste. 10, Ponte Vedra 1103 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd., St. Augustine Serving Northeast Florida for more than 65 years, Kuhn Flowers offers arrangements and gifts, of traditional designs or custom-made.

Family-owned and operated, Kuhn’s is voted Best Local Florist in our Best of Jax poll.

SEAHORSE FLORIST 725 N. Third St., Jax Beach, 246-7533, seahorseflorist.com In business over 34 years, Harry Schnabel’s shop has fresh and silk flowers, plants and planters, table sprays and bridal bouquets.

Photography/Videography

ALEX MICHELE PHOTOGRAPHY alexmichelephotography.com Any style: traditional, edgy, rustic, artsy or photojournalism. Licensed and insured, professional results.

Our readers send their sweet nothings to their special someones. Is your sweetie trying to tell you something? Take a look and see what you find!

MY Firefighter In 101 days, I’ll have the honor of marrying you: my forever-best-friend.

You’ve already shown me more love than I ever thought was possible. I’m impatiently counting down the days until I’m officially Mrs. Kicklighter.

Thank you for being you, and for loving me the way you do. I’m totally enamored by your life. Elephant shoes & olive juice. #meanttobedotcom Your Punk Rock Princess CP, I turned out liking you a lot more than I planned. Now turned into forever. I love our little family.

K My Soulmate Lola, You are my life partner, my best friend. I will love you for all eternity.

I have never met someone in my life I enjoy spending time with as much as you. I want to grow old with you, my Lola. You are the most beautiful women I have ever met. I love you with all my heart.

Your DGGA Anthony 10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015

My Big Stinky Booger Baby, Happy two year anniversary! Love continues to grow in more ways than we know. I love you so much too!

Muah muah muah muah.

Your Little Sweet Loving Lamb Angelina Awesome, My Penguin!

From the moment we met, my heart was yours. You’re the most beautiful, funny, AWESOME woman I’ve ever met! What started as a fascination has grown into a love that makes up for a lifetime of heartache and disappointment. Whenever we’re together, it feels like I’m dreaming. If I am, I pray I never wake up. I love you!

Rich, Your Awesome Frog!

Boyfriend, I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can!

Spiders Dana Fender, To my wonderful husband, Thank you for loving me again. I’ve never been happier. I could never live with out you. I love you. Happy Valentine’s Day, Your life companion and eternal love Bob Uecker, Desperately seeking bestie to go golfing, kayaking, skydiving, shopping, try new things, eat great meals, laugh a

lot, willing to forget you didn’t ask me to prom your senior year. I will meet you at 10:10 anytime you need me.

You can find me back at one if you look inside your heart. —JT Kids, All three of you are learning to fly now. Stay true to yourselves and you’ll be fine. Love all y’all.

Momma aka Grammar Phoenix Zade and Eric Schmidt, Dear Phoenix, Happy Valentine’s Day! Your smile and snuggles are my favorite things ever and you have made me so proud. LOVE YOU Eric, my best friend, thank you for always being here. It’s been 3 years of us and we’re still here. I hope we have lots more coming! Love you, too, Happy Valentine’s Day to my 2 favorite boys.

Hanadi aka Big Momma Heidi Klum, Thanks for being my constant friend, my faithful partner in life and my one true love. Your are my soul mate, the love of Nye life and my reason for being. I love you.

Kiefer Sutherland Princess Jasmine, Let’s howl at the moon tonight!

O’Malley the Alley Cat

My Star Angel, After 16 years, we’ve handled a lot of crying children. And through it all … still … my love is like a child crying, afraid to leave your arms.

Your Schweddy Hey Shnoobzenshnoobah!

Mommy loves you.

Jes, “All you need is love … and a dog.”

Happy four-year anniversary. Love you :) Jesse Ms. Bone, May this year’s Valentine’s Day be one of peace, people and love.

Your Paper Boy Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mom! Thank you for hatching me. I love you very much!

Your Schoopsengoober Dearest Cher The way of your love is sweeter than honey, warmer than summer, and the balm my half-breed heart needs. Love you, Dark Lady. —Sonny

WEDDING PLANNER B R I DA L D I R E C TO RY ATLANTIC VIDEO PRODUCTIONS DUCTIO T NS TI 1171 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-0600, atlanticvideo.biz Local photographer/videographer Mitch Kaufmann has been shooting weddings for more than 30 years. Packages include single-camera and multi-camera coverage.

BRP PHOTO 614-1090, brpphoto.com Bobby and Shannon Pickle specialize in weddings, engagement and family photos. BRP can shoot your Trash the Dress event, too.

CHRISTY WHITEHEAD PHOTOGRAPHY & DESIGN 514 Chaffee Point Blvd., Ste. 9, Westside, 891-0359, jaxphotographer.com Award-winning Whitehead has a creative style for engagements, weddings, trash the dress events and more. The initial consultation is free.

PRODUCTIONS TAKE ONE NEE PRODUC CTIONS 994-0652, info@takeonejax.com, takeonejax.com Awardwinning wedding films to show your children and grandchildren what your wedding day was really like.

Music/Entertainment

BAGPIPES BY MICHAEL THOMAS

502-2620, gigmasters.com/Bagpipes/MichaelRThomas Thomas is Pipe Sergeant of Jacksonville Pipes & Drums, the area’s only pipe band. He can assist in the selection of appropriate traditional Scottish and Irish tunes.

BREAD & BUTTER 859-9621, breadandbutterband.com With nearly 20 years of performing experience, versatile Bread & Butter plays soulful

Angie Roberts of ANGIE’S WEDDING CAKES bakes up a variety of beautiful bridal sweets in several flavors.

DANA GOODSON PHOTOGRAPHY St. Augustine, 635-2276, danagoodson.com Goodson gets images with a modern spin, capturing the style of the festivities.

DENNIS HO WEDDINGS 742-0628, dennishoweddings.com Photojournalism-style wedding photography with an emphasis on storytelling.

With photos published in Savannah Weddings Magazine, Southern Living, French GQ and Playboy, Mr. Ho can customize a package.

DIGITAL CONCEPTS PHOTOGRAPHY 4523 Hanover Park Dr., Intracoastal West, 992-2062, digitalconceptsphotography.com Full-service wedding photography, specializing in documentary photojournalism.

DAN HARRIS PHOTOART 1124 Riviera St., San Marco, 398-7668, danharrisphotoart. com Photojournalist Harris, skilled in black-and-white and color photography, lets clients help design their photo packages.

DEERWOOD FRAMEWORKS 9932 Old Baymeadows Rd., Deerwood, 642-3234 Digital photo printing on canvas or photo paper and custom framing for photos, invitations and wedding memorabilia.

LINDA OLSEN PHOTOGRAPHY Neptune Beach, 241-8233, lindaolsenphoto.com Awardwinning photographer specializing in custom-designed wedding books. Call her for a free consultation.

funk of the ’60s and ’70s, modern pop rock, jazz standards or light funk grooves.

DJ ROC 277-8239, djroc@bellsouth.net DJ Roc has been providing sounds for more than 10 years, with professionalism for rehearsal dinner or reception.

THE DYNAMIC LES DeMERLE BAND 277-7942, lesdemerlemusic.com This group of musicians can be any size, from a trio to a 17-piece band. The Les DeMerle Band plays a variety of styles: jazz, beach music, Motown and more.

FEEDBACK ENTERTAINMENT DJS & EVENT CO. 888-804-9566, feedbackentertainment.com The local event company offers DJ services, décor, lighting and professional photobooth rental.

FLORIDA JAZZ PLUS, JB SCOTT’S SWINGIN’ ALLSTARS, KELLY-SCOTT QUINTET 703-8687, kellyscottmusic.com The 20-piece Florida Swing Orchestra and 10-piece mini-big band Sophisticated Swing.

JACKSONVILLE STRINGS 235-9154, jaxstrings.com Quality live music, offering string quartet, string trio, violin duo and solo violin services.

LEE TURNER 398-4429, turnersong.com The pianist plays classical, waltzes, Broadway, gospel and sacred music; rehearsals, ceremonies and receptions.

ONE VOICE PRODUCTION 1589B Old Moultrie Rd., St. Augustine, 823-8865, onevoiceproductions.com One-stop shop provides photography, videography, DJs, full-service party rental.

GARY STARLING JAZZ BANDS 349-2134, garystarling.com Starling’s music has melodic beauty, sophistication and taste.

PEGGY McATEER PHOTOGRAPHY 1731 Penman Rd., Neptune Beach, 626-2700 Master photographer McAteer blends journalistic and traditional styles, in studio or onsite. Packages available.

ROAD LESS TRAVELED rltsound.com, rltsound@yahoo.com A mix of folk-inspired songs with bluegrass, Celtic, classical and original songs.

Instrumental options in duos and solos, Celtic airs, waltzes and Renaissance melodies.

PLUMB FUN PHOTOBOOTHS 2317 Herschel St., Riverside, 303-1570, plumbfunphotobooths.com Rents booths where you pose for six-picture strips. On-site attendant, delivery. White booths are featured, to blend with the wedding theme.

SAM RODRIGUEZ MUSIC 535-0667, samrodriguezmusic.com Percussionist/drummer Rodriguez plays solo, in a duo, trio, quartet or full band; blues, jazz, disco, Motown, rock.

PUT IT ON CANVAS 252-3225, putitoncanvas.com The concept: wedding photos on quality art canvas and print photos on high-quality photo paper, posters, banners, custom wallpaper, murals and giclees.

SPADE McQUADE & THE ALLSTARS spademcquade.com McQuade and his band perform authentic Irish music – traditional, rock, folk – ideal for the Irish-themed reception.

SHUTTERBOOTH JACKSONVILLE 280-5623, shutterbooth.com Adds a personal touch to the reception for photographic memories to last a lifetime.

STROLLING VIOLIN 396-9325, violin@clearwire.net, strollingviolin.com Beverly Chapman plays soft violin music for weddings, receptions and rehearsal dinners. Call for an appointment.

FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11

greatest hits of

I SAW U AND NOW, A SELECTION OF OUR FAVORITE I SAW U’s OF 2014 Every week, a raft of hopeful, thunderstruck souls send us their well-written messages of people they saw — usually in bars, often at Publix — with whom they’d like to spend their lives or at least one hot night. We’ve chosen those ISUs missives that stood out last year. We’ve deleted the assigned numbers to protect the not-soinnocent.

DARK CHOCOLATE POM I came in for a few things. You had one in your bathroom. Something rang up wrong. Offered you chocolate, you told me I was sweet. You seemed earthy.

Wonder if you’d like to grab coffee/tea sometime.

When: Oct. 21. Where: Your Work, Ponte Vedra Beach.

HUSKY SEMINOLES HUNK You: FSU shirt, name starts with S. Sloppy drunk & jolly. Me: Thick woman, Cornhuskers shirt. You loved my curly hair; let me rub your belly :) Bono’s unlimited BBQ rib night on Gate Parkway 7 p.m.? When: Oct. 4.

Where: Kickbacks, Riverside.

ROGUE MEN You helped me with ring toss. Stood really close. Had to run, had friends waiting. Wish I’d gotten your name and number! When: Sept. 7. Where: Dive Bar. BEARD MAGIC You: Jet-black hair, green eyes, sexy red Fiat 500. You said my beard had magical powers. Me: Colorful tats, magical beard, Donkey Bong shirt. I gave you my toast and you promised a date. When and where? When: Sept. 15. Where: Brew 5 Points.

BARISTA WITH DEVILED EGGS You: Starbucks Barista. Handed me a deviled egg, drew a heart on my vanilla milk. Never knew what I loved about this old coffee shop. Close your tally with a herringbone? Love to read more newspapers – as your girlfriend. When: Aug. 14. Where: Southside/ Baymeadows Starbucks.

SAUSAGE CUTIE You: Fast-talking Penguin shirt guy, recently out of jail; said three months in jail builds character. Me: Tall, jet-black hair, way-too-short dress. I asked if you knew I wasn’t wearing panties; you joked about sausage size on pizza. Pizza soon? When: Sept. 17.

Where: Avondale Mellow Mushroom.

COFFEE HOTTIE You: Hottest girl at Bold Bean, skintight Lululemons, bedhead and full-sleeve Molly Hatchet tattoo. You caught my glance waiting for latte. Me: Still drunk from last night, looking fine in Jesus Is The Shit shirt.

We MUST meet. When: Sept. 10. Where: Bold Bean.

HOT COP AT LOGAN’S ROADHOUSE ISU at Logan’s. You were the slightly seasoned gentleman. You ordered the juicy steak, but I wish I could have ordered yours. Oh, and Momma has a coupon for you! When: Aug. 29. Where: Logan’s Roadhouse.

RUNNING OUT OF MOONLIGHT ISU: Mavericks acoustic concert. We talked, you put your arm around me during two songs. Your friend said you wash your beard with long-term relationship Head & Shoulders. You make a cowboy hat look good ;). When: Aug. 13. Where: Mavericks at the Landing.

WALMART CHECKOUT, ST. AUGUSTINE You: Tall handsome gentleman wearing cowboy boots, jeans & white shirt. On a Monday, we chatted about your pool chlorine and my grapes. Me: Petite, long red hair. New to area, would love to connect. When: Aug. 4. Where: St. Augustine Walmart.

12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015

southern lovin’ hen I left Jacksonville for San Francisco more than a half-decade ago, my lifestage resembled that of many other transplants in my new city: early 20s, fresh from grad school, passionately liberal, certainly naïve. But there was one little thing that, unknown to me, would make me a statistical outlier in America’s most progressive city: I was engaged.

I learned how unusual this was after I landed a job and my colleagues and I began to share details about our lives unrelated to our profession.

It wasn’t one coworker’s open relationship or another’s complicated gender identity that elicited fascination; rather, it was my entering into nuptials at such an early age that seemed to rank among the most confounding of all extra-office affairs.

A fairly accurate paraphrasing of something I heard many times: “I feel” — this is how people in liberal cities begin approximately 99 percent of sentences, by the way — “like Southerners always get married right after high school.”

To my then-fiancée and I, our engagement seemed run of the mill, even late compared to our friends in Florida — some of whom were already expecting children. Not so in our new city, or at my new job. While maternity and paternity leave were as commonplace there as anywhere, the people who took them were in their late 30s, not their early 20s.

After taking stock of the world around me, I could see why 24 and Engaged might remind people in more progressive cities of some kind of backwoods reality show on par with 16 and Pregnant.

I found it worth investigating my colleagues’ hypothesis further. Obviously, San Francisco and Jacksonville are at opposite ends of the country geographically, and on a map of normative social influence, the two would perch on opposite poles (not to mention, I was clearly falling prey to confirmation bias). There did appear to be something to this, however. Do people in the South really get married earlier? And, if so, why?

Education? Social pressure? Religion? And what are the ramifications of marrying young?

According to a 2009 Pew Research study, across America the median marryiage age has been climbing for decades — faster in places like the Northeast and both coasts and slower in the South and Midwest. The study found the highest median age of marriage for men (32) and women (30) was in Massachusetts, New York and Rhode Island.

Compare that to the lowest for men (26), found in three states — Arkansas, Oklahoma and Utah (oh, Mormons) — and the lowest age for women (24) found in the same three states, plus Idaho.

W

What we lack in education, we make up for in divorce Though overall the statistics show people tend to get married earlier in the South, Florida’s numbers fell somewhere in the middle. The median age of first marriages in the Sunshine State stands at 29 for men and 26 for women (data for Jacksonville, which shares more DNA with Bible Belt counterparts like Arkansas than cities like Miami, were unavailable).

The Pew study also has divorce data. Sure enough, some states with the lowest median age of first marriages also have the highest rates of divorce.

And, two of the states with the lowest ages of first marriages (Oklahoma and Utah) also had the highest occurrence of thrice-married individuals.

The report also found that a state’s income and education levels were highly correlated to its divorce rate and median age of first marriage: “In states with high shares of college-educated adults, men and women marry at older ages …. In states with low shares of college-educated adults, adults are more likely than average to marry three or more times.”

Pew’s analysis also looked at states’ voting patterns: “Residents of states with high shares of Democratic votes tend to marry at older ages than residents of states with low shares of Democratic votes.”

A recent analysis in The Atlantic by Richard Reeves of the Brookings Institute showed that 2007 was the first year in which marriage rates were higher for college grads than non-grads older than 30. According to Reeves, highly educated, socially progressive, politically liberal couples are changing the American household.

“The old form of marriage, based on outdated social rules and gender roles, is fading. A new version is emerging — egalitarian, committed, and focused on children,” Reeves wrote.

An interesting twist, Reeves notes, is that “Although college graduates tend to be a reliably liberal voting bloc, their attitudes toward parenting are actually quite conservative. College grads are now the most likely to agree that ‘divorce should be harder to obtain than it is now.’”

Reeves suggests that parents today see marriage as critical to successful childrearing, a sort of selfless engagement that benefits their offspring

over all others, including themselves. But several new studies also show a link between marriage and personal happiness. Scientists at Michigan State University released a study in 2013 that shows that marriage plays a huge role in a person’s longterm happiness. And a 2014 study by scientists in the U.K. ranked marriage a close third in contributing to a person’s happiness, after health and employment status.

And millennials (who can always be counted on to adopt traditions long since abandoned by advanced society — see: hipster blacksmiths) are embracing marriage in their own way. A 2014 Pew study showed that people who live together before marrying — a taboo practice a few decades ago that has become quite common among millennials — tend to stay married longer.

When I was discussing this piece with two editors at Folio Weekly, they both became visibly uncomfortable at the thought of still being tied to the person they dated (or married) in their early 20s. Empirically speaking, their reactions are justified. My wife and I — married at 25 and 24, respectively — fall well below the median for progressive San Francisco, and even slightly below the averages for some places in the lesseducated South. So, are we doomed to fail? Did my wife and I (if I may quote Rihanna) “fall in love in a hopeless place”?

If we were still the people we were when we first started dating, I’d be worried. If we still considered high school our glory days, or had been pushed into matrimony by a fervent religious community, I’d be worried. If we hadn’t encouraged, inspired or allowed one another to grow and change throughout the course of our relationship, I’d be worried. We also have research on our side: education, a semblance of financial security, my own estimation of my personal happiness, and the fact that my wife and I cohabitated before we were married (sorry, Nana) are all factors shown to lead to long and happy marriages.

A few months ago, my wife and I returned to live in our native city, and a funny thing happened.

While we once again appear to be surrounded by people in similar life stages (early 30s, employed, politically apathetic, unwilling to stay out too late, a little less naïve), we have quickly grown aware that we are, yet again, statistical outliers. We are now what a San Francisco friend calls “DINKs” (that’s “dual income, no kids”), surrounded by our young Jacksonville friends and their adorable offspring.

Here’s to love in the South.

Matthew B. Shaw mail@folioweekly.com

WEDDING PLANNER B R I DA L D I R E C TO RY TROPICO STEEL BAND 536-4166, tropicomusic.net Barry Olsavsky plays steel drums as a one-man band, with background tracks of calypso, soca, reggae, Buffett and strolling steel pan. Tropico Steel Band, a four-piece, has two steel drummers, electric bass and drumset.

WHO RESCUED WHO wrwmusic.com, facebook.com/wrwmusic This rock band (formerly The John Earle Band) blends rock and pop, performing original songs, covers – even TV theme songs. Available for private parties and receptions.

Salons/Spas

AJ’S HOUSE OF BEAUTY & STYLE 5895 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 6, 737-4446, ajhouseofbeauty andstyle.com Full-service salon has wedding and specialoccasion packages. Owner Jodi Mattern specializes in Great Lengths 100 percent human hair extensions, one-on-one service.

AMETHYST HAIR SALON 677 Third St. S., Jax Beach, 246-6060, amethysthairsalon jaxbeach.com Free consultations for cut, color, highlights, smoothing treatments, perms, extensions.

ANGEL AND MI INC. 3683 Crown Point Rd., Mandarin, 288-0100, angelmisalon. com Full-service salon offers up-do and formal hair styling.

Hair color specialists on staff. Natural or acrylic mani/pedis, facials, makeup application, waxing services.

ANTHONY’S ET AL EUROPEAN DAY SPA & SALON 10092 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 6, Mandarin, 398-9777, anthony setal.com Hair care and styling (including up-do’s), massages (Swedish, deep tissue, prenatal, hot stone), waxing, salt scrub, cellulite treatments. Skin care, men’s facials.

AUDACITY SALON & SPA 12225 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, Intracoastal, 807-9808, audacitysalonandspa.com Full-service hair salon and spa offers packages for everyone in the wedding party.

AVANTE SALON AVONDALE 3604 St. Johns Ave., 387-4959, avantesalons.com Specializes in award-winning color services; waxing, tanning.

The professional staff can travel to your site.

AVEDA INSTITUTE JACKSONVILLE 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 7, Mandarin, 877-283-3235, avedaflorida.com Cosmetology school offers haircuts, color and nail services, at discounted prices.

COMPLIMENTS BY SHERRY & CO. 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 50, Intracoastal, 221-7380, complimentsbysherryandco.com Professional stylists, estheticians, nail technicians and massage therapists incorporate techniques and products for hair, skin and nails.

CORTELLO HAIR SALON 1086 Third St. N., Jax Beach, 853-6222, jacksonvillebeach hairsalon.com Specializing in women’s haircuts, hair color, hair extensions, keratin treatments.

COSMETIC & RECONSTRUCTIVE SURGERY CENTER 6867 Belfort Oaks Place, Southside, 296-2008, jackson villeplasticsurgerybyduffy.com Dr. Michael Duffy, certified plastic surgeon, offers face, forehead, neck, eyelid lifts, breast augmentation, body contouring, Botox and Restylane.

DIRTY BLONDE SALON 2409 S. Third St., Jax Beach, 241-4247 Styles for the bride and her attendants. Advanced booking is required.

ELECTROLYSIS & LASER CENTER OF JACKSONVILLE 11512 Lake Mead Ave., Ste. 304, Southside, 997-2277, jaxhairremoval.com Licensed, board-certified staff. Services include microdermabrasion, laser hair removal, Botox, dermal fills, chemical peel, facials, waxing and photofacials.

ELITE SALON & DAY SPA 4290 Herschel St., Riverside, 389-2554 Full range of salon and spa treatments; massotherapy, heliotherapy, aromatherapy, aesthetic refinement. Salon services: hair care, body waxing, makeup, facials, nail care.

ENVY HAIR SALON 145 Hilden Rd., Ste. 107, Ponte Vedra, 808-8684, hairhotties. com Packages for the bride and bridal party; up-dos, hair styling, coloring.

FRENCHY’S WELLNESS SPA 1460 Third St. S., Jax Beach, 249-0402, frenchyswellness. com Spa treatments: Facials, massage, waxing, acupuncture, mani/pedi, eyelashes, Reaction VIORA treatments.

FUSION SALON 9810 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 2, 683-3769, fusionsalonjax. com The staff offers precision cutting, Davines Mask coloring systems and FNLongLocks hair extensions.

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HAIR AT THE PLAZA 2683 St. Johns Bluff Road S., Southside, 997-1215 Services include hair, nail, waxing, facials, massage. Customized day-ofbeauty packages available.

SWEET PETE’S, the new threestory candy store Downtown, features the Candy Apple Cafe, a full-service restaurant, and rental spaces for special events.

BAYMEADOWS JUNCTION DENTAL CARE 8206 Philips Hwy., Ste. 21, Southside, 448-6122, baymeadows junctiondentalcare.com Tom Miller, DDS, and Renata Folstein, DDS, offer general and cosmetic anxiety-free dentistry, including smile makeovers and teeth-whitening services.

BELLA HAIR SPA 9965 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 11, Mandarin, 288-7703 Extension services, styling, Brazilian blowout, and color and cutting services are offered onsite at the salon or at your location.

DR. CLAYMAN’S MIRACLE SPA 1801 Barrs St., Ste. 200-220, Riverside, 388-6110, themiracle spa.com Spa services: facials, massages, mani/pedis, glycolic/salicylic peels, body wraps, makeup, teeth-whitening, waxing, medical-grade skin care. Drs. Loren and Mark Clayman’s estheticians, massage therapists and laser hair pros offer Botox, Juvederm, face lifts, eyelid surgery, liposculpture, tummy tucks, laser hair removal.

COASTAL COSMETIC CENTER 4147 Southpoint Dr. E., 332-6774, coastalcosmetic.com Plastic surgeons offer cosmetic enhancements for the face and body, including makeup and laser treatments for removal of unwanted hair and blemishes.

HAUTE HOUSE SALON 1650 San Pablo Rd. S., Ste. 11, Intracoastal, 221-2020 Offers up-do hairstyles for special occasions, as well as preoccasion preparation hair color and cuts.

THE HONEYCOMB 4465 Woodmere St., Avondale, 619-1566 Offers Aquage, Biolage, Mop, Goldwell, Pacifica candles and handmade jewelry.

KIMTASHA MAKEUP ARTIST 1450 Flagler Ave., San Marco, 535-1755, kimtasha.com Professional makeup and airbrush services, at your location.

KUDOS MASSAGE THERAPY 525 Fourth St. N., Jax Beach, 608-9690, kudosmassage. amtamembers.com By appointment only. The bride and groom each get a free massage if six members of the wedding party each schedule a one-hour massage. Pedro Figueroa has been practicing massage for more than 28 years. Fully licensed, offering deep tissue, myofascial, pregnancy, sports, Swedish and trigger point massages.

MIKO SALON 317 St. Augustine Blvd., Jax Beach, 853-6229 581 Market St., St. Augustine, 576-9695, mikosalon.com

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A half-dozen erotically charged tunes to get you in the mood, because we love you and want to see you naked

SEXXXYTIME PLAYLIST hen The Beatles sang “The love you make is equal to the love you take” in the closing moments of Abbey Road, it didn’t take a genius to figure they were talking about copulation. Like Tristan and Isolde, Romeo and Juliet, and David Gest and Liza Minnelli, music and romance have enjoyed a timeless partnership. This coupling of melody and ardor harks back to the earliest humans as they crouched around the fire, drunk on the gore of rancid gazelle meat, howling gibberish while thumping jawbones on monkey skulls and conveying sweet nothings like “I believe that I have strong feelings for you. Let’s take this thing to the next level.

However, keep in mind that if we run out of this meat, I might eventually crack your brains open, bleed you out and nosh on your flesh.”

From classical works to R&B crooning, musicians have spent centuries, well, trying to get laid. And to help you do the same, we’ve handselected a “sex pack” (see what we did there?) of recorded pieces that are sure to add a little heat to that California King-sized air mattress you lug around in the windowless, shag-carpeted conversion van.

W

Anything — Anything! — by Al Green From “How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?” to “Let’s Stay Together,” Al Green’s classic soul hits have been used to initiate many acts of sexual congress. Of course, in 1974 Green’s girlfriend poured a pan of scalding-hot grits on him while he was soaking in the bathtub and then immediately went into the next room and blew her brains out. But try not to think about that. It might affect performance.

“Love Making Music” — Barry White The Titan of Titillation, the Mammoth of Mating, the Behemoth of Boning, Barry White boasts a catalog of freaky-deaky, bed-breaking ballads. “Love Making Music” features a laidback production of smooth jazz trumpets, rubbery bass and sweeping strings, while White cracks wise on the classic antiquity-era poetic device of instrument-as-genital: “You blowin’ on me like a saxophone/I’m blowin’ on you like a trombone.”

(Fun fact for lovers: Barry recorded this vocal track while lying nude on the studio floor, covered in rose petals and sipping on a monstrous banana milkshake.)

“Heroes” — David Bowie Admittedly written during the mid-’70s when The Thin White Duke was snorting so many Thin White Lines that he could have gnawed through steel bars, Bowie’s 1977 single is the ultimate Us Against Them number that appeals to most lovers, or at least those who feel irrationally hostile toward the outside world while celebrating their Codependent Womb Built for Two. To wit: “And you, you can be mean/And I, I’ll drink all the time/’cause we’re lovers, and that is a fact.” In your face, healthy and stable relationships!

“Conversation with a Mule” — Walter Brennan The star of classic Westerns on big and small screens from 1925-’74, protean Americana artist Brennan was known for releasing a series of 14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015

WEDDING PLANNER B R I DA L D I R E C TO RY This service-oriented salon – with a new Palencia location – pampers with a variety of services, like up-dos, specialty styles, spa manicures and pedicures for brides and bridal parties, in a private courtyard at the Jax Beach location.

MIRROR, MIRROR SALON & SPA 1153 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 853-6238 Organic facials, massage, haircuts, dimensional hair coloring with organic, non-toxic products: Eminence Organic Skincare, John Masters Organic Hair & Body Care items.

MONA LISA SPA 9315 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 1, Mandarin, 322-7618, monalisadayspa.wix.com Hydrotherapy, aromatherapy, signature massages and facials. Group packages available.

MONICA MIA ON SITE 2320 Third St. S., Ste. 1, Jax Beach, 463-0224, monicamiaonsite.com More than 10 years as a makeup artist and aesthetician, professional Pilates instructor. Onsite makeup applications.

spoken-word recordings that described a simpler time in this great country of ours, one that usually involved farm work. A deep cut from 1962, “Conversation with a Mule” uses the leitmotif of farmer-and-mule as a deliciously coy analogy about the inevitable carnal “give-and-take” that takes place in countless S&M/bondage sessions: “Old mule, you’re the son of a jack-ass/and I’m the image of God/yet here we work hitched together/a-toilin’ and a-tillin’ the sod.” This pioneering cornpone-fueled predecessor of Fifty Shades of Grey poses the question: “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, mule?”

“Little Wing” — Jimi Hendrix Experience Considering there’s a good chance that you are tripping your brains out while listening to Hendrix, if you find yourself “settling” for a lessthan-ideal sexual partner, just squint your eyes and lean into those lines of green color shifting and shooting through the obsidian field of consciousness pulsating within. As your neural pathways go bonkers, you’ll probably forget you’re about to accidentally make a human being you’ll have to take care of for the next 18 years — way to go, hippie — but at that point, who really cares?

“Lovin’ You” — Minnie Ripperton Tender, sensuous and straight-up hormone detonating, Minnie Ripperton’s 1975 smash is a languid, three-and-a-half minute bra-destroying ballad that floats along on a cloud of “la la la la la”s and “do en do do doo”s and capped off by a piercing, knee-buckling falsetto blast that will fell even the most porking-indifferent paramour.

In a curious aside, on Sept. 2, 1981, hundreds of kestrels slammed through the stained-glass windows of St. Catherine’s Cathedral in Utrecht, Netherlands, spraying multicolored shards and feathered corpses throughout the 15th-century church. Authorities were initially baffled by this bizarre phenomenon until altar boy Ardie Slabbekoorn admitted that he’d been blasting “Lovin’ You” while polishing the reliquary, which apparently agitated the birds into a berserk, suicidal frenzy.

Honorable Mention: • “Where is Thumbkin?” (Michael Bublé) • “You Can Eat Crackers in My Bed Anytime” (Barbara Mandrell) • “Are You Washed in the Blood of the Lamb?” (traditional hymn) • “Dur dur d’être bébé! (It’s Tough to Be a Baby)” (Jordy) • The Mattress Firm theme song Daniel A. Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com

HOLLY NADJI, DMD 7807 Baymeadows Rd. S., Ste. 206, 731-1919, gentleladydentist.com Dr. Nadji and her associates practice cosmetic, general, restorative and preventive dentistry and Invisalign technology, performed with exceptional patient care.

NAILS R US 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 2, Intracoastal, 992-6957, nailsrus salon.com This shop hosts bridal showers and can do makeup for the wedding. Gel polish, acrylic/gel extensions, manicures, pedicures, waxing, lash extensions, lash/brow tinting, permanent makeup.

ONE OCEAN RESORT HOTEL & SPA 1 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-7402, oneoceanresort. com Pampers with relaxation services, a full hair salon and makeup – everything for your big day is taken care of.

ORTEGA MED SPA 8773 Perimeter Park Court, Southside, 388-8844 Wayne Houston, MD, offers SA Bodysculpture, VI Peel, DNA facials, Carbossi & Synergy, Botox, Dermal fillers, laser hair reduction, photofacials, massage, and consultations.

PARADISE GROOMING FOR MEN SALON & SPA 1242 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 372-0642, paradisegrooming formen.com Haircuts, color and styling with tea tree shampoo and spiker hair gel, as well as manicures, pedicures, beardtrimming, waxing, facials, body scrubs and massage.

COREY YOUNG S. PARK, M.D. MY DENTIST 12220 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 128, Southside, 221-8221, mydentist drpark.com Dr. Park offers state-of-the-art cosmetic dental techniques including bonding, veneers, sealants, dentures, bridges, contouring, implants, whitening and porcelain crowns.

PARKWAY PLASTIC SURGERY 5101 Gate Parkway, Ste. 2, Southside, 396-1186, parkway plasticsurgery.com Dr. David Mobley and Dr. Rebecca Glasser, board-certified plastic surgeons, offer surgical and cosmetic procedures.

PEARSON FACIAL PLASTIC SURGERY 1835 East West Pkwy,, Ste. 19, Fleming Island, 215-7377, pearsonfaces.com Specializing in cosmetic and reconstructive plastic surgery, Dr. Pearson is board-certified.

PICASSO DAY SPA & SALON 202 Second St. N., Jax Beach, 247-6670, picassospa.com Full-service salon and spa offers hair care, skin care, massage, mani/pedis, airbrush tanning, body wraps.

LESLIE G. PLATOCK, DDS 700 Third St., Ste. 203, Neptune Beach, 247-3077, leslieg platockdds.com Offers Liquid Smile’s hydrogen peroxide professional whitening pen. In the Atrium Building, Platock uses a digital X-ray method, with 80 percent less radiation.

L.A. QUINN M.D. THE FUSION OF SCIENCE & BEAUTY 484 Jacksonville Drive, Jax Beach, 595-5980, laquinnmd. com Specializes in laser and cosmetic surgery. Dr. Linda Quinn offers Smartlipo MPX, Fraxel, Fotofacial, laser tattoo and hair removal, sclerotherapy, fillers, Botox, hormone replacement.

REJUVANENCE LIFESPA 9822 Tapestry Park Cir., Ste. 104, Southside, 996-7595 Plastic surgeons John Harris and Dr. Ankit Desai offer facials, massages, laser hair removal and a laser alternative to a facelift. Bridal packages, free consultations available.

REVIVA MEDICAL SPA 700 Third St., Ste. 101, Neptune Beach, 685-8852, garciareviva.com Spa treatments, laser hair removal, skin care, massage, spray tanning and makeup.

RIO HAIR STUDIO 9823 Tapestry Park Cir., Ste. 8, Southside, 733-8495, riohairstudio.com Redken master stylists discuss what’s best for individual facial shapes and lifestyles.

SALON 192 192 S.R. 312, St. Augustine, 825-2314, salon192.net The salon offers spray tanning, full body waxing, hair care, facials, sugar scrub, microdermabrasion, peels, makeup.

SALON BALANCE, A HAIR DESIGN STUDIO 85 Ava Way, Ste. 101, St. Augustine, 429-7080, salonbala nce.com Services include cut, style, up-do styling, color, color correction, perms and men’s treatments. Schedule a free consultation; packages are available.

SALT SPA 465 Third St. N., Jax Beach, 372-0791, jaxsaltspa.com An oxygenating Salt Room session features a zero-gravity chair; day spa services, cosmetic treatments.

SAUDA NATURALS 1622 N. Laura, Springfield, 444-9275, saudanaturals.com All-natural, organic black hair and skin care eco-friendly concoctions made with exotic oils and butters.

SMALL INDULGENCES EUROPEAN DAY SPA 9 Sanchez Ave., St. Augustine, 824-6220, smallindulgences dayspa.com Offers facials, Swedish massages, mani/pedis, shampoo and style, makeup application. Gift certificates.

THE SPA AT AMELIA ISLAND PLANTATION 6800 First Coast Hwy., 432-2220, omnihotels.com Services include massages, exfoliation, scrubs, facials, mani/pedis, updos, waxing, makeup application.

THE SPA AT PONTE VEDRA INN & CLUB 302 Ponte Vedra Blvd., 273-4018, pvspa.com Offers more than 100 spa services; hair care, full body treatments, facials, La Stone therapy, mani/pedis. A spa bridal party is the ideal solution to the wedding jitters.

THE SPA AT WORLD GOLF VILLAGE 955 Registry Blvd., Ste. 117, 940-7800, spawgv.com Offers massages, body scrubs, aromatherapy, wraps, skin care, facials, nail services, makeup and hair care, including a trial run for the bride’s hairstyle.

SPORTS CLIPS HAIRCUTS 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 59, 221-9090, sportsclips.com Men’s and boys’ haircuts. Open daily; no appointment needed.

SUTRA SALON 320 Ninth Ave. N., Jax Beach, 249-9292, sutrasalon320. com Stylists combine creativity and devotion to beauty to make anyone look and feel their best. The Bumble and Bumble exclusive salon offers Jane Iredale cosmetics.

TROMPE L’OEIL SALON 820 A1A N., Ste. E-10, Ponte Vedra, 543-1520, trompeloeil salon.com Offers salon specialties for the bridal party: mani/ pedis, up-dos, extensions, makeup application, aromatherapy.

POISE SALON 9475 Philips Hwy., Ste. 13, Southside, 519-8524, poisesalon. com The Redken based salon provides a wide range of cutting, styling, color and waxing treatments.

TUSCAN BLISS MEDSPA 3980 Third St. S., Jax Beach, 241-9000, tuscanblissmedspa. com Cellulite reduction, laser hair removal, skin tightening, spider-vein removal, chemical peels, Botox and Juvederm.

PONTE VEDRA COSMETIC SURGERY 150 Professional Dr., Ste. 100, 285-5571, pvcosmetic surgery.com Dr. R. Gregory Smith offers cosmetic surgical procedures and treatments, including mini-facelifts, liposuction, body contouring, tummy tucks, breast augmentation, face and neck lifts, laser skin resurfacing and Botox.

TWO BLONDES AND A GUY SALON 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Ste. 104, 646-0970, twoblondes andaguy.com Redken signature salon offers hair and nail services. Gift certificates available.

PONTE VEDRA FAMILY DENTISTRY 7000 Sawgrass Village Circle, 280-1200, pontevedrafamily dentistry.com Drs. Geoffrey Banga, Barry Schweim and William Maroney offer Zoom!, in-office bleaching and cosmetic dentistry procedure.

PONTE VEDRA MEDSPA PLASTIC SURGERY & LASER CENTER 1030 A1A N., 285-7202, johnbharrismd.com Dr. John Harris offers laser cellulite therapy, Botox, Restylane, facelifts, liposuction, eyelifts, facials, hair removal, breast enhancement.

WOW! HAIR SALON 159 Palencia Village Dr., Ste. 103, St. Augustine, 824-6715, wowhairsalonfl.com American Board Certified colorist Carrie Dolpp offers a facial consultation with every cut and color.

Brazilian blowouts, keratin treatment, perms, high/lowlights, extensions, waxing, men’s styling, updo’s.

YOUTHFUL MEDICAL SPA 110 Professional Dr., Ste. 104, Ponte Vedra, 273-6286, youthfulmedicalspa.com Offers Thermage, skin-tightening, fractional skin resurfacing, Botox, Juvaderm, laser hair removal, photofacials, microdermabrasion and Jane Iredale makeup.

Located in Neptune Beach, MEZZA RESTAURANT & BAR offers formal dinner service six nights a week.

Cakes/Catering A LA CARTE CATERING & EVENT PLANNER

331 First Ave. N., Jax Beach, 241-2005, alacarte-jax.com Offers full service catering and event planning in the Beaches area, with its own pastry chef, service attendants, bartenders, rental equipment and florists.

ANGIE’S CAKES ETC. 1906 Parental Home Rd., Ste. 1, Spring Park, 724-2212, angiescakesetc.com Wedding cake specialist creates madeto-order cakes. The specialty is strawberry cake; more than 20 fillings to choose.

ANTHONY’S GOURMET CATERING 670 Kingsley Ave., Orange Park, 264-1338, anthonysgourm etcatering.com Full-service caterer can stage a brunch, buffet reception, seated dinner or stand-up reception.

BROUDY’S LIQUORS AND FINE WINES 516 W. Geoffrey St., St. Augustine, 417-2090, broudys.com 353 Marsh Landing Pkwy., Jax Beach, 273-6119 35 N. Ponce de Leon, St. Augustine, 829-6909 138 S.R. 13, Ste. 140, Julington Creek, 482-0955 5000 U.S. 17, Stes. 1 & 2, Fleming Island, 269-7029 From small family functions to grand receptions, Broudy’s staff can help with selection and special orders.

THE CAKE SHOP OF SAN JOSE 3911 Hendricks Ave., San Jose, 306-0303, jaxcakeshop. com Custom wedding and special-occasion cakes, miniature desserts and pastries.

CAMICAKES CUPCAKES 1910 Wells Rd., Orange Park, 541-1095, camicakes.com 9734 Deerlake Court, Ste. 5, Tinseltown, 998-4611 Gourmet cupcakes made with fresh ingredients: sweet potato, red velvet, mint chocolate and The Elvis – that’s right, banana and peanut butter with chocolate frosting. Thankyavurrymuuuch.

CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY COMPANY 1014 Atlantic Ave., Fernandina Beach, 491-4663, chezlezan bakery.com Chez Lezan can create wedding cakes and groom’s cakes, plus goodies for the reception and shower.

Consultations, tastings by appointment.

CHOUX CAKE STUDIO 4458 Marquette Ave., Avondale, 955-3398, chouxbakery. com This historic bakery offers world-class pastry and custom design and personalized service. Tasting boxes are available.

CINOTTI’S BAKERY, DELI & BOUTIQUE 1523 Penman Rd., Jax Beach, 246-1728, cinottisbakery.com Four generations of Cinottis have served the Beaches since 1964, creating wedding cakes and groom’s cakes for more than 65 years, in traditional or up-to-date styles. Cinotti’s also offers catering services, party trays and delivery and set-up.

COOKIES BY DESIGN 4372 Southside Blvd., Ste. 203, Jacksonville, 296-3399, cookiesbydesign.com Cookie centerpieces for showers and wedding tables, wedding cookie favors. The wedding gifts and treats are available in a variety of sizes in a range of prices.

CULINARY OUTFITTERS CATERING 9E S. Dixie Hwy., St. Augustine, 829-2727, culinaryoutfitters. org Services for any size wedding or party. The Bistro, an onsite facility, accommodates up to 25 guests for rehearsal dinner, reception or brunch.

CUPCAKE GIRLS DESSERT COMPANY 1516 Third St. N., Jax Beach, 372-4579, cupcakegirls dessert.com Wedding cakes, cupcakes, cupcake towers, favors, ice cream cups and cones, cookies and desserts.

EDGEWOOD BAKERY 1012 S. Edgewood Ave., Murray Hill, 389-8054, edgewood bakery.com Since 1947, this bakery has offered custom wedding cakes and groom’s cakes, as well as other desserts.

E STREET EVENTS 318-9912, e-streetevents.com This company offers modern wedding and event styling and management.

FLIPPIN’ GOOD COOKIES 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Ste. 104, Southside, 333-9753, flippingoodcookies.com The locally owned company has made-from-scratch, hand-decorated cookie favors and photoimages on specialty cookies.

FOR THE LOVE OF CAKE 4205 St. Johns Ave., Avondale, 388-6400, loveofcakejax. com Family-owned cake shop creates custom wedding cakes and specialty/sculpted cakes. Call for a consultation.

LET THEM EAT CAKE! 3604 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 2, Avondale, 389-2122 This artisan bakery serves coffee, croissants and muffins, a variety of cupcakes, pastries and individual desserts. Sandwiches, soups and salads, too. Whole cakes (coconut is popular) can be made-to-order.

SIVADA’S CUPCAKERY 4000 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 27, Avondale, 647-7586 All the cupcakes are baked fresh daily, with the finest ingredients.

There are more than 20 varieties, including specialty items like tiramisu, crème brûlée, and strawberry cheesecake.

STOVER’S CUSTOM CAKES 703-0245, stoverscustomcakes.com Stover’s makes wedding cakes from scratch, customized to fit any taste and budget, or to accommodate dietary, allergy or religious restrictions. Call for an appointment.

SWEET BY HOLLY 4624 Town Crossing Blvd., Ste. 137, 564-2711, sweetbyholly. com Hollis Wilder, twice a winner on Food Network’s “Cupcake Wars,” offers 30 flavors of cupcakes made from scratch daily.

Frozen yogurt means 12 flavors and 48 toppings.

Wedding Planners

ELEGANT WEDDINGS BY LISA 268-1429, elegantweddingsbylisa.com Elegant Weddings has specialty packages to fit any budget, ranging from just the ceremony to all-inclusive events including vow renewals, and featuring beach weddings.

FIRST COAST WEDDINGS & EVENTS 739-8003, firstcoastweddings.com The full-service wedding coordinating and planning company serves happy couples from Savannah to Palm Coast.

FLAIRE WEDDINGS & EVENTS 2762 Park St., Riverside, 352-1832, flaireweddings.com Northeast Florida modern event design and planning firm, specializing in start-to-finish planning and event design for local celebrations as well as destination weddings.

G.G. EVENTS 318-4334, g.gevents@yahoo.com, ggevents.net Fullservice wedding and event planners, based in Avondale/Ortega, help plan, design and coordinate that special day.

SOUTHERN CHARM EVENTS 4031 Blanding Blvd., Westside, 731-5978, southerncharmevents.org Full-service wedding planning company has packages to fit any budget, bringing a touch of Southern charm to the wedding process with vintage rentals, décor and design.

DAVOLI’S CATERING 7035 Philips Hwy., Southside, 738-5415, davolicatering.com Offers gourmet cuisine and impeccable service, ensuring the freshest ingredients and nutritive value for every menu item.

TO-DOERS, INC. EVENT PLANNING 386-5662, todoers.com Local company offers consultations, full-wedding planning. Monica Bernhardt and her professional team specialize in destination weddings.

d’VINE CUISINE INC. 2762 Park St., Riverside, 742-7353, d-vinecuisine.com Customized catering for rehearsal dinners and wedding receptions. Tea parties for bridal showers are also available.

THE WEDDING AUTHORITY 75 King St., Ste. 116, St. Augustine, 826-0166, thewedding authority.com Full-service wedding designer and planner located in the Lightner Museum building overlooking the courtyard, for ceremonies for up to 100, or choose from a list of options.

FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15

Whether it’s a first date or the celebration of a 50year relationship, our Wine, Dine & Gift Guide is here to help make your special Valentine’s Day time together as memorable and delightful as possible. Simply center your romantic plans around one of these fine choices and let Cupid be your guide to the perfect evening.

Mezze Bar & Grill

2016 Hendricks Ave., San Marco 683-0693 | MezzeJax.Com

Start your romantic evening with our famous Fresh Basil Martini or one of the more than 35 brews we have on tap, accompanied by delicious, tapas-like hummus, baba ghanouj and kibbe. Indulge in lamb and chicken kabobs, or any of our other classic Middle Eastern specialties. Treat your sweetie to our homemade Baklawa, and round out your evening by relaxing on our outdoor Hookah patio. Now, this is an unforgettable Valentine’s Day. Call for reservations today.

Allure Thai Bistro & Bar 1004 Hendricks Ave., San Marco 674-0190 | AllureThai.Com

Celebrate Valentine’s Day in a sensual and spicy style! Your special someone will fall in love with you all over again during your romantic meal of our delicious Thai cuisine, the food of love. Beautifully fragrant, enchantingly exotic and authentic, just the way you like it. Here is what we have planned for your romantic dinner: $3.99 cocktails special and $49 Valentine’s Day Special, which includes one (1) appetizer, two (2) entrées, one (1) bottle of wine or champagne and one (1) dessert. Reserve your table today.

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Kaluby’s Dance Club Two Locations 338-9200 | Kalubys.Com

Walk in...and dance out! That has been Kaluby’s motto for over 30 years of teaching dance. We specialize in popular social dances and all areas of ballroom and Latin dance for singles and couples. Offering private lessons, group classes and dance parties, you will meet new people, build confidence, exercise, and decrease stress…dancing simply gives you more fun out of life! Rediscover your passion for one another…give the gift of dance this Valentine’s Day. Gift certificates available.

Buddha Thai Bistro

301 10th Ave. N., Jacksonville Beach 372-9149 | BuddhaThaiBistro.Com Buddha Thai Bistro cordially invites you to experience our Valentine’s Day Prix Fixe Menu priced from $27.99 to $35.99. Your romantic dinner includes starters, personal sides, entrées and desserts. Begin with starters like Crab Rangoons, Shumai Thai and Tuna Pokitini. Next, enliven your taste buds with Tom Yum Shrimp or Laab Chicken.

Then, feast on entrées like Royal Padthai Chicken, Trio Curry, Chilean Sea Bass with Curry, Salmon Stuffed Seafood with Curry and Masamun Curry Lamb. Top the night off with Bittersweet Chocolate Lava Cake, Fried Salted Caramel Ice Cream and Xango. **Wine Pairing for $19 (5).

Espeto Brazilian Steak House 1396 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville Beach 388-4884 | EspetoSteakHouse.Com

After seven years in Avondale, this authentic Brazilian steak house and full liquor bar has moved to Jax Beach, featuring Brazilian beers, wines and cachaça, Brazilian rum. Espeto offers traditional service of 15 cuts of meat and fresh salad bar, plus a varied menu of bar fare: Authentic Brazilian sandwiches like Bauru, a filet mignon steak sandwich, and American sandwich favorites like meatloaf with a Brazilian twist. Starters include Pastel, a Brazilian empanada filled with shrimp, beef, chicken, cheese or veggie; cheese bread and croquettes for sharing.

Happy Hour 4-7 Sun.-Thur. features $4 drafts, $8 Caipirinhas, $5 well drinks and $4 house wines. Late Happy Hour 10 p.m.-close. The delicious Brazilian drink Caipirinhas is perfectly handcrafted in a variety of fresh flavors: strawberry, mango, passionfruit, grape and basil and the traditional with muddled limes. There are 12 beers on draft, with an emphasis in local crafted beers.

The bar is open daily 4 p.m.-midnight. Come in, relax and enjoy!

FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17

WEDDING PLANNER B R I DA L D I R E C TO RY

Unique Celebration Sites AMORÉ WEDDING CHAPEL

75 King St., Ste. 116, St. Augustine, 826-0715, amorewedding.com In historic Lightner Museum, with stained-glass windows; seats up to 50 guests and can supply an ordained minister or officiants, consultants, photography and flowers.

CABANA BEACH CLUB 619 Ponte Vedra Blvd., 280-3403, sawgrassmarriott.com Complete facilities for receptions and rehearsal dinners, including a pool deck that can accommodate 250 guests, and casual indoor dining in 619 Ocean View restaurant, accommodating up to 80, with views of the ocean.

CLUB CONTINENTAL 2143 Astor St., Orange Park, 264-6070, clubcontinental.com St. Johns River view, gardens. Mediterranean-style clubhouse serves wedding parties and receptions; the ceremony can be on a patio by an Italian balustrade. Some B&B guest rooms have Jacuzzis and fireplaces.

DEERCREEK COUNTRY CLUB 7816 McLaurin Road N., Southside, 363-1604 Colonialstyle clubhouse available for indoor and outdoor weddings, rehearsal dinners, bridal showers and sit-down receptions for up to 150 guests.

FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH ARCHAEOLOGICAL PARK 11 Magnolia Ave., St. Augustine, 829-3168, fountainofyouthflorida.com The historic 15-acre waterfront setting dates to 1565. Themed weddings are a specialty, in 3,000-sq.-ft. Events Pavilion, accommodating 300 standing guests, featuring a bridal room, catering kitchen. Day or evening ceremonies.

FOXY LADY CRUISES 111 Avenida Menendez, St. Augustine, 398-9553 Downtown Jacksonville, 398-9553, foxyladycruises.com Operating from two locations, presenting new yacht Foxy Lady II, with two cash bars, open-air decks and a galley. The 137-passenger capacity is ideal for weddings, receptions, rehearsals, luncheons, showers and bachelor/bachelorette parties. The original yacht launches in Jacksonville, accommodating 149 guests.

HIDDEN HILLS COUNTRY CLUB 3901 Monument Rd., Arlington, 641-8121 ext. 118 Fullservice professional staff provides gourmet cuisine for wedding parties and receptions. Non-members may rent the facility, which accommodates up to 300 seated guests. An outdoor garden may be used for a wedding ceremony.

HAMPTON INN JACKSONVILLE BEACH/OCEANFRONT 1515 First St. N., 241-2311, hamptoninnjaxbeach oceanfront.com Specializes in ceremonies and receptions.

Professional onsite planners and staff. Choose either the White Sands Room or Sand Dollar Room, or opt for the Ocean Lawn for an outdoor ceremony.

marshcreekweddings.com Banquet choices from cocktails to heavy hors d’oeuvres to full-course. Dining room seats up to 140; 250 for cocktails. Onsite coordination is included; formally attired, trained staff assists.

MAVERICKS 2 Independent Dr., Jacksonville Landing, 356-1110, mavericksatthelanding.com Bachelor and bachelorette parties, rehearsal after-parties and wedding receptions at the exclusive VIP Lounge in Miss Ellie’s Bardello.

MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Cir., Southbank, 396-6674, themosh.org Options for celebrations big or small; The Rooftop has a capacity of up to 150 guests, The Wachovia Room accommodates up to 115 and individual floors accommodate up to 400. Table and linen rentals available.

PRIME F. OSBORN III CONVENTION CENTER 1000 Water St., Downtown, 630-4000, jaxevents.com Accommodates 50 to 4,000 guests, with meeting rooms and a ballroom available. Reservations are taken six months to one year in advance.

QUEEN’S HARBOUR YACHT & COUNTRY CLUB 1131 Queen’s Harbour Blvd., Intracoastal, 220-2118, clubcorp.com Ceremonies and receptions by the marina and golf course accommodate up to 300 standing guests and up to 200 seated. Onsite catering provides hors d’oeuvres to buffets to dinners. Outdoor ceremonies may be performed in the classic gazebo.

THE RITZ-CARLTON, AMELIA ISLAND 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., 277-1100, ritzcarlton.com Oceanfront Lawn, The Courtyard and The Beach for the ceremony; The Plaza Ballroom, for 100-150 guests and The Ritz-Carlton Ballroom, 800 standing or divide into salons.

Customized cuisine and florals, photography and limousine services, musical entertainment, ceremony officiates, wedding planners and advisors and other vendor services.

RIVER CRUISES 1840 Perry Pl., San Marco, 306-2200, jaxrivercruises.com Cruising the St. Johns River on a sternwheeler, the Lady St. Johns, accommodating up to 250 guests, or the Annabelle Lee, up to 100. A wedding coordinator is available; the captain can perform the ceremony. The staff can supply decorations, food and a DJ. Full bar is available.

THE SKYLINE DINING & CONFERENCE CENTER 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 3550, Downtown, 791-9797 This restaurant and banquet venue, on the 42nd floor of the BankAmerica building has panoramic views, space for most any size celebration. Call for rates and availability.

TREE HILL NATURE CENTER 7152 Lone Star Rd., Arlington, 724-4646, treehill.org Strasser Amphitheater is a covered, open-air venue with three levels of informal seating that can accommodate 250 guests, around a central stage.

THE HILLTOP RESTAURANT 2030 Wells Rd., Orange Park, 272-5959, hilltop-club.com Victorian mansion, among the live oaks, offers grand pianos, gardens, dance floors, fireplaces and a fountain for ceremonies, rehearsal dinners, buffets and receptions.

UNIVERSITY CLUB 1301 Riverplace Blvd., 877-684-3919, clubcorp.com Private dining rooms offer a panoramic view of Downtown and the St. Johns River. Accommodates up to 150 guests for seated dinners, 400 for stand-up receptions.

IN THE GARDEN 13364 Beach Blvd., Ste. 314, Jacksonville, 483-6769, inthegardenlandscapeanddesign.com Mediterraneaninspired spot ideal for garden weddings and events for up to 85 seated guests and 100 standing.

WINDSOR PARKE 13823 Sutton Park Dr. N., Intracoastal, 223-4653, windsorparke.com Offers banquet and dining facilities in the 9,250-square-foot clubhouse. Private gazebo, and the reception in the elegant dining area that accommodates up to 150 guests.

Menu selections are suitable for both large and intimate events.

JACKSONVILLE GOLF & COUNTRY CLUB 3985 Hunt Club Rd., Intracoastal, 223-5555, jaxgcc.com Full service catering and banquet facilities in an upscale country club atmosphere. Outdoor ceremony site on the lawn overlooking golf course and lake. For the reception, the club seats 250 guests or 450 guests for cocktails.

JACKSONVILLE ZOO & GARDENS 370 Zoo Pkwy., Northside, 757-4463, jacksonvillezoo.org In-house certified caterers offer a range of menu options.

The 7,000-square-foot open terrace overlooks the Aviary.

Customized packages are available for up to 400. The Gardens at Trout River Plaza seat 350, or 500 for cocktails. The Asian Bamboo Gardens accommodate 50 to 250.

LODGE & CLUB AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 607 Ponte Vedra Blvd., 273-9500, pontevedra.com Features more than 11,000 square feet of flexible reception and banquet space for parties of 20 to 150 people. Services: floral decorations, ice sculptures, musical entertainment. Guest rooms have fireplaces and Jacuzzis.

MANDARIN COMMUNITY CLUB 12447 Mandarin Rd., 607-9935, mandarincommunityclub.org The historic club’s main hall, with hardwood floors, has a seating capacity of up to 115 guests for small weddings, receptions. For an outdoor setting, Billard Commemorative Park may be rented solo or combined with Club building and features a white gazebo.

MARSH CREEK COUNTRY CLUB 169 Marshside Dr., St. Augustine, 461-1101,

18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015

Restaurants

13 GYPSIES 887 Stockton St., Riverside, 389-0330, 13gypsies.com Neighborhood bistro for parties and catering. Reservations required for in-house parties. Authentic Mediterranean peasant cuisine with a modern twist.

BISTRO AIX 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox.com Private dining rooms are available for rehearsal dinners, bridal luncheons or receptions. Flexible seating for up to 58 guests, customdesigned menus, personalized service, event planning and catering services. Catering onsite or at your location.

BROADWAY RISTORANTE & PIZZERIA 10920 Baymeadows Rd. E., Ste. 3, 519-8000, broadwayfl. com Family-owned-and-operated Italian pizzeria caters events, offering trays of authentic entrées, pasta, subs (order a 4-foot 10-pounder), wings and salads.

BUDDHA THAI BISTRO 301 10th Ave. N., Jax Beach, 712-4444 Authentic fare.

Dishes are made with the freshest ingredients, from tried-andtrue recipes. Call for details on small group parties.

ESPETO BRAZILIAN STEAK HOUSE 1396 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 388-4884, espetosteakhouse. com Newly relocated churrascaria features gauchos who carve the meat onto your plate from their serving tables.

Located on Philips Highway, DEBRA’S BRIDAL SHOP features dresses, shoes and accessories.

GYPSY CAB COMPANY 828 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 824-8244, gypsycab. com Offers a banquet facility that accommodates up to 100 guests. Choose on-or off-site catering, featuring an extensive, varied international menu.

KABUKI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR 1147 Amelia Plaza, Fernandina Beach, 277-8782, kabuki japanesesteakhouse.com Traditional Japanese fare, steaks, chicken and seafood entrées, available in a party package.

Celebrate the wedding at a teppanyaki table or in a private dining room. Call owner Steve Wong for details.

TAVERNA YAMAS 9753 Deer Lake Court, 854-0426, tavernayamas.com The Mediterranean restaurant, featuring private dining options, accommodates groups for parties, showers, rehearsal dinners, wedding receptions. Belly-dancers and a DJ are available.

B&Bs/Inns/Hotels

THE ADDISON ON AMELIA ISLAND 614 Ash St., Amelia Island, 277-1604, addisonamelia.com 1870s antebellum home featuring gardens, a fountain, a courtyard and private porches. Special touches, like a horse and carriage, are available; call for wedding package details.

MATTHEW’S 2107 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 396-1213 ext. 112, matthewsrestaurant.com Matthew’s catering services feature a menu of an eclectic mix of Mediterranean flavors, served onsite or at your location. The staff can handle rentals, linens, bar service and decorations.

AMELIA ISLAND WILLIAMS HOUSE 103 S. Ninth St., Fernandina Beach, 277-2328, williams house.com Old World charm and modern amenities in the historic district. Packages include elopement wedding and reception, intimate celebration.

MEDITERRANIA 3877 Baymeadows Rd., 731-2898, mediterraniarestaurant.com With a private banquet room that accommodates up to 70 guests, Mediterrania offers a warm and friendly atmosphere and cuisine prepared in the classic European tradition.

AUGUSTIN INN 29 Cuna St., 800-248-7846, augustininn.com A half-block from the historic bayfront, the 1898 Augustin Inn offers whirlpool tubs, antique furnishings, two-course breakfasts.

Wedding services, inclusive packages available, walled courtyard that can accommodate parties from two to 22.

METRO DINER 3302 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-3701, metrodiner.com With facilities to accommodate up to 80 guests, the 1930s diner offers full-service catering for small receptions and rehearsal dinners, serving a complete menu (cold platters, hors d’oeuvres or dinners), which can be customized.

MEZZA RESTAURANT & BAR 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573, mezzarestaurant andbar.com Mezza is ideal for rehearsal dinners or small intimate wedding receptions. Choose the formal dining room, the landscaped patio or the casual ambience at the bar.

MOXIE KITCHEN + COCKTAILS 4972 Big Island Dr., 998-9744, moxiefl.com Chef Tom Gray’s restaurant offers several private rooms and spaces ideal for rehearsal dinners, bridal showers and wedding receptions.

95 CORDOVA & COBALT LOUNGE 95 Cordova St., St. Augustine, 819-6006 Fine dining within historic Casa Monica Hotel. Catering and banquet facilities.

OLD CITY HOUSE INN & RESTAURANT 115 Cordova St., St. Augustine, 826-0113, oldcityhouse.com In the historic district; offers full-service weddings, receptions and rehearsal dinners for 10 to 80 guests. The Inn has seven B&B rooms featuring four-poster beds and Jacuzzis.

PINEGROVE MEAT MARKET & DELI 1511 Pine Grove Ave., Avondale, 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com For more than 40 years, Pinegrove has been creating fare with fresh ingredients and USDA choice prime aged beef cut to order. Catering services available.

RAINTREE RESTAURANT 102 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine, 824-7211, raintreerestaurant.com Renovated turn-of-the-century home offers private dining rooms and a garden with a gazebo.

Showers, rehearsal dinners and receptions. The restaurant seats 55 guests upstairs and 30 downstairs.

THE REEF 4100 Coastal Hwy. A1A N., St. Augustine, 824-8008, thereefstaugustine.com Overlooking the Atlantic Ocean; offers Ocean’s Edge banquet room with seating for up to 100 for dinners, showers, receptions, indoor ceremonies or beach access for ceremonies by the sea, two private balconies.

TAVERNA 1986 San Marco Blvd., San Marco, 398-3005, tavernasan marco.com Tapas, small-plate items, Neapolitan-style wood-fired pizzas and entrées are served in a rustic yet upscale interior. Local craft beer and more than 20 wines are served.

BAYFRONT MARIN HOUSE 142 Avenida Menendez, St. Augustine, 824-4301, bayfront marinhouse.com The historic buildings comprising the Bayfront Marin House are a romantic setting for a honeymoon, vow renewals, commitment ceremonies and anniversary getaway. Packages and wedding coordinators are available.

BAYFRONT WESTCOTT HOUSE 146 Avenida Menendez, St. Augustine, 825-4602, westcott house.com Honeymoon packages include breakfast in bed and horse-drawn carriage rides. The 1880 Victorian-era mansion features appointed suites (some with Jacuzzis).

CARRIAGE WAY BED & BREAKFAST 70 Cuna St., St. Augustine, 829-2467, carriageway.com This Victorian style home, in historic district, offers decorated rooms in several packages.

CASA MONICA HOTEL 95 Cordova St., St. Augustine, 827-1888, casamonica.com Historic, four-diamond hotel has a 4,000-square-foot deck for ceremonies or receptions. The grand ballroom seats up to 220 guests, Flagler Ballroom seats 110. On-and off-premises catering, wedding packages, customized menus, bridal suites.

THE CEDAR HOUSE INN VICTORIAN BED & BREAKFAST 79 Cedar St., St. Augustine, 829-0079, cedarhouseinn.com This restored 1893 Victorian home, decorated with antiques, is located in the historic district. Owner Cynthia Humphrey offers small intimate weddings, a full gourmet breakfast and free onpremises parking. An officiant is available.

CROWNE PLAZA AIRPORT 14670 Duval Rd., Northside, 741-4404, cpjacksonville airport.com The hotel has 8,000 square feet of flexible function space, a grand ballroom and courtyard, accommodating up to 160 guests, as well as a pool, catering, award-winning chef and banquet facilities. Packages available.

CROWNE PLAZA RIVERFRONT 1201 Riverplace Blvd., 398-8800, cpjacksonville.com The hotel has 12,000 square feet of flexible function space, accommodating up to 500 guests, as well as a pool deck for sit-down dinners and receptions. For overnight stays, there are 292 rooms and suites, with group discounts available. Amenities include an outdoor pool and fitness room.

ELIZABETH POINTE LODGE 98 S. Fletcher Ave., Amelia Island, 277-4851, elizabeth pointelodge.com Boutique hotel on the beach overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. Owners David and Susan Caples offer accommodations in the Main House, Ocean House and Miller Cottage, and can customize amenities.

THE FAIRBANKS HOUSE 227 S. Seventh St., Amelia Island, 277-0500, fairbanks

Exploring the brave new world of dating by smartphone app

love me tinder t started innocently enough.

“DTF?” I asked.

I was pretty sure Johnny — like the others in this story, not his real name — wouldn’t be offended by my forwardness. I’d seen his pictures, a series of faceless, half-naked selfies and a shot of his hand grasping his, um, manhood through a pair of chinos. And there was the fact that his profile told me he wasn’t “looking for anything serious,” and enjoyed “exploring the kinky side of life.”

No, Johnny was not looking for Victorian courtship.

“Yeah I just got off work,” he responded, not even a minute later. I had him on the hook. Now I just had to reel that twisted Tinder fish in.

I’m into the kinky stuff, I told him. That’s not really true. But I am into seeing how far a conversation with a stranger on a supposed “hook-up app” will go.

Call it the romantic in me.

For the uninitiated, Tinder is a simpler version of dating sites like Match or OK Cupid, made exclusively as a smartphone app. You, Dear Single Hopeful, can upload your most flattering Facebook photos, maybe include a short bio, and use your phone’s location services to find other users nearby. If you come across a profile you like, you can swipe that person’s photo to the right and hope he or she does the same. If your prospect is missing some teeth and has an affinity for keg stands, go ahead and swipe that mug to the left.

If both parties swipe right, it’s a match, and you can start chatting. If you swipe right and the other party doesn’t, sorry, DSH, but you’ll never be able to speak to that adorable aspiring artist/boutique coffee shop barista with the cute dog and even cuter friends. Unless you creepily Facebook-stalk him after he turned you down, the jerk. No, I’ve never done this ….

I didn’t have to wait long for my wellendowed, six-packed match to show how much he cared. Johnny quickly informed me that he just had to shower but that he was ready with a gag, a blindfold, a few toys and some cuffs — and, can he come over to my place? His is kind of small. I wondered if he kept these items in a bag by his front door, like some sort of sexy standby pilot ready to rocket away to the first girl with a fetish and her own apartment.

After a week of twice-daily novella-length messages entailing the naughty scenarios playing out in his head, I decided to come clean about my true intentions and end our Tinder courtship. I told him that I was like most girls on Tinder, just looking for a someone cool to hang out with for a while, maybe longer. It’s not that most Tinder ladies aren’t interested in sex, but — anecdotally speaking — most are looking for something of a traditional dating situation: coffee, then maybe drinks or dinner, followed by blissful trips to Ikea.

Tinder’s just a way to cast a wide and fast net.

He said he understood, and sent me the

I

link to his erotic literature, which I could purchase online for $2.99, and kindly offered to meet me anytime for more vanilla sex if I was ever up for it. Johnny had turned out to be quite the gentleman.

While this was by far my most unusual Tinder courtship, it was hardly my first.

Tinder and I go way back.

I got into it like most people do: peer pressure.

We were celebrating a girlfriend’s birthday, the last she’d have in her 20s. Some of the women at dinner were passing around their phones and pointing at pictures of guys.

“I’d totally hit that,” one of them said, a pretty blonde who I imagine has no problem attracting male attention. I was surprised she’d be on a dating site, but apparently everyone was. I was behind the times, living in the dark ages of meeting strangers in more polite settings, like the grocery store or a dive bar.

They explained that it was like Grindr for straight people. A bunch of my gay friends had been on Grindr for years, so I knew what that was. Like Tinder, Grindr uses your phone’s GPS to find other users nearby. Unlike Tinder, Grindr is almost exclusively a hook-up app. Some of my Grindr-user friends went on to date the guys they met, but most wrote off their encounters as singular nights of passion.

I told them I wasn’t interested in putting that much effort into a one-night stand.

“It’s different,” they assured me, and downloaded the app for me against my will. “Not everyone’s looking to hook up. Just most of them.”

I soon realized why the app is so popular with younger singles. It’s easier to sign up for than dating sites that require you to fill out personal questionnaires. And you don’t have to put as much of yourself out there into the online-dating ether. It’s less invasive — and more addicting.

I became obsessed with this endless game of hot-or-not, swiping left and right — and left and left — for hours until my hand hurt from the repetitive motion. The adrenaline rush when I first got matches was thrilling, but after a while, the allure wore off. Before I knew it, I had more than 100 matches in a week and a full inbox of prospective suitors. I had no idea there were so many attractive single men between the ages of 25 and 45 within a 60-mile radius. I was quite excited about it.

My first Tinder date was great. One of the best first dates in the history of first dates. We met at a small café, had a great conversation about history and spirituality and the possibility of time travel,

and before I knew it, I was back at his place to see a painting he owned, done by an amazing local artist. I was smitten.

Brad and I dated seriously and intensely for four months, but when things inevitably crashed and burned, I got back on Tinder just to remind myself that there were other men in the world.

I was meeting nice guys in real life, but I wasn’t ready to really date again. Tinder was a way to sort of pretend-date. To talk and flirt and nothing else. When I finally took the plunge back into meeting people in person again, my first venture out was beyond awful. After a miserable lunch, he informed me I was too fat for him, but that looks didn’t matter as much to him anymore so it was OK. I told him I appreciated the honesty, but lose my number, thanks. (I may have used some bad words.)

Then came Pedro. He was really sweet and quiet, sarcastic and so handsome. But I was cautious. We hung out for more than a month without anything happening romantically, just dancing awkwardly at clubs, doing Karaoke, going to out-of-town shows.

When we started to get more serious, things got weird, and I was single again. I was over dating, and especially over Tinder dating.

In the meantime, all of my friends have joined. And so has everyone else, apparently. As of October 2014, there were more than a billion Tinder users. The stigma of online dating that existed a decade ago has dissipated, and even Tinder’s rep as a breeding ground for one-night stands is belied by the several friends I have who’ve met their significant others on it.

This is how we date now.

Meeting someone in real life can be terrifying.

The risk of rejection is very real, staring you right in the face. Tinder can’t change the awkwardness of meeting a stranger, but it can at least give you the introduction.

As for me, I’m back on Tinder lining up dates for the week. Perhaps, eventually, I’ll meet someone worth my time. Or I might just end up texting Johnny.

Janet Harper mail@folioweekly.com FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19

Our least favorite make-out songs

stop and eject he candles are lit, the champagne uncorked.

You have carefully crafted an atmosphere of both coy intimacy and new sexual possibilities. DEAR GOD, DO NOT SCREW THIS UP. And most certainly do not nix the deal by dialing up the wrong soundtrack.

To ensure that you get some, the highly skilled technicians at the Folio Weekly Institute of Make-Out-Ology have been working around the clock (barring Friday through Tuesday, when they’re drunk) to analyze all manner of recordings that are the diametric opposite to any effective collection of auditory pieces that heat up the night.

Let the results of our team’s hard-won research help you avoid tanking your next suck-face session.

T

“East Bound and Down” — Jerry Reed Unless you and your partner are turned on by blasting this 1977 country classic while groping each other during a high-speed car chase across state lines with a rascally sheriff in hot pursuit, don’t play this song.

Gen. Douglas MacArthur’s 1951 “Farewell to Congress” speech While there’s always room for patriotism between the sheets, MacArthur’s historic speech — and its oft-quoted line that “old soldiers never die; they just fade away” — will go over like a fart at a funeral during a round of Denim Peek-A-Boo. 1910-1914: Black Magic Recordings — Aleister Crowley Though British occultist Aleister Crowley (1875-1947) is an acknowledged pioneer of sex magick, these wax cylinder recordings of Crowley intoning a selection of spells, poetry and occult masses in a voice that sounds like a prim schoolteacher emoting through bad Romantic-era verse are sure to forever banish all magic from the backseat of your 1998 Geo Metro.

“I Love Living In Jacksonville, Florida” — Lawrence Walden When this municipal-lovin’ tune went viral last December, we were certain that its snappy message, lilting melody, jazzy arrangement and video featuring what appears to be a small-yetardent cult of people wearing light-blue shirts would surely be the creative concoction this town needed to bring hormones to a roiling boil. We were wrong.

“Necrophobic” — Slayer Nothing says “I love you but I have serious issues” like blasting this thrash metal classic from Slayer’s 1986 album Reign in Blood prior to groping. In 100 delicate seconds, Satan’s favorite four-piece blast a hemorrhaging hole into Valentine’s Day, with such “Will You Be Mine?” lyrics as: “Strangulation, mutilation, cancer of the brain/limb dissection, amputation from a mind deranged.” Footsie time!

“Slob on My Nob” — Three 6 Mafia One would think that fans of bawdier auditory stimulation would be fired up while listening to this 1999 hip-hop humpfest, with its baleful pleading for fellatio and greasy, XXX stanzas like “Slob on my knob/like corn on the cob.” Yet many 20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015

WEDDING PLANNER B R I DA L D I R E C TO RY

house.com Owners Bill and Theresa Hamilton welcome guests to an 1885 Italianate villa for a honeymoon or getaway.

Private cottages and rooms with king-sized beds, Jacuzzis and fireplaces, plus wine, chocolates and pampering. Packages vary and an Elopement Package is offered.

HILTON GARDEN INN 45 PGA Tour Blvd., Ponte Vedra, 280-1661, hilton.com Offers banquet facilities for rehearsal dinners, showers and receptions. An event coordinator is onsite to handle details, including wedding and honeymoon romance packages.

HILTON HISTORIC BAYFRONT 32 Avenida Menendez, St. Augustine, 829-2277, hilton.com In the historic district, the 72-room boutique-style hotel offers a ballroom, outdoor site, for ceremonies, receptions, showers and rehearsal dinners for up to 100.

HOTEL INDIGO 9840 Tapestry Park Cir., 996-7199, hoteldeerwoodpark. com This full-service boutique hotel is situated on a lake in the European-style village of Tapestry Park, a central location perfect for out-of-town guests. Group rates are available.

HOYT HOUSE 804 Atlantic Ave., Fernandina, 277-4300, hoythouse.com A gazebo, cocktail reception area, guest rooms, pool and spa and gardens. The mansion is available for rental; extras can include catering, flowers and bar service.

HYATT REGENCY RIVERFRONT HOTEL 225 East Coast Line Dr., Northbank, 588-1234, jacksonville. hyatt.com Full-service catering facilities for up to 1,000 guests, including the 28,000-square-foot Grand Ballroom, riverside rooms and private balconies overlooking the St. Johns.

JACKSONVILLE MARRIOTT AT SOUTHPOINT 4670 Salisbury Rd., 296-2222, marriott.com Accommodates rehearsal dinners and receptions for up to 400, outdoors or in the ballroom. Bridal suites available. Group discounts offered and reservations should be made several months in advance.

heated hopefuls have played this song only to find themselves decidedly turned off and resigned to awkwardly sharing some cold, leftover pulled pork while watching Long Island Medium on Netflix. There is such a thing as too much.

“I’m Called Little Buttercup” from Gilbert & Sullivan’s H.M.S. Pinafore Nothing says “Get the hell off me!” like hitting “play” on this operatic number, featuring the delightful offerings of a dockside vendor in 19th-century Britain. “I’ve snuff and tobacky and excellent jacky,” boasts this sassy siren, as your partner considers chugging a bottle of floor cleaner to find eternal escape.

“The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” — Gordon Lightfoot In six-and-a-half minutes, Gordon “The Canadian Bob Dylan” Lightfoot’s epic ballad about the Nov. 10, 1975, sinking of the SS Edmund Fitzgerald in Lake Superior drowns the waves of rising passions. In fact, our experts tell us this somber maritime ballad is now used in many area ERs as a kind of sonic saltpeter to neutralize priapism resulting from the use of popular erectile dysfunction medications.

“Hamburger Lady” — Throbbing Gristle The members of British quartet Throbbing Gristle are considered to be forefathers of the industrial and noise scenes. That being said, this cut from their 1978 album D.o.A: The Third and Final Report of Throbbing Gristle features a single drum beat, nauseating, chugging synths, and singer Genesis P-Orridge recounting the tale of a woman nearly charred to death. Unless you’re jacked up on so much ecstasy that even autoerotic asphyxiation sounds tantalizing — editor’s note: you do not have to be on E to get a little turned on by autoerotic asphyxiation, do you? — that this little jingle might put a crimp in your red satin sheets.

“Touch Me” — The Doors No thanks, Jim. And lose the maracas.

Daniel A. Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com

THE LODGE & CLUB 607 Ponte Vedra Blvd., 273-9500, pontevedra.com The 66-room oceanfront hotel and private club is popular for beach wedding ceremonies. More than 10,000 square feet of reception and banquet space; for events for 20 to 150 guests.

OMNI JACKSONVILLE HOTEL 245 Water St., Downtown, 355-6664, omnihotels.com Downtown’s only four-diamond hotel. More than 14,000 square feet of function space, including the Florida Ballroom, and rooms for luncheons and rehearsal dinners. The Omni’s fare includes kosher and ethnic menus. Sleeping rooms for out-oftown guests and champagne and breakfast-in-bed for the bride and groom are available. Call for a consultation.

PONTE VEDRA INN & CLUB 200 Ponte Vedra Blvd., Ponte Vedra Beach, 285-1111 This 250-room award-winning oceanfront resort has been hosting events for more than 75 years, with Old-World elegance and sophistication. The resort and private club features more than 30,000 square feet of reception and banquet space in a variety of unique venues. The dining rooms accommodate gatherings from 10 to 450 people.

Riverfront venue can stage garden ceremonies and indoor receptions. Two grand staircases, catering, coordinators, full bar service, décor and entertainment.

AMELIA ISLAND PLANTATION 6800 First Coast Hwy., Amelia Island, 261-6161, omnihotels. com Hold an intimate ceremony amid ancient mossy oaks and marshlands. For wedding packages, call the Wedding & Social Events Department.

BLACKFINN AMERICAN GRILLE 4840 Big Island Dr., 345-3466, jacksonville.blackfinn americangrille.com For intimate to large wedding receptions, rehearsal dinners, engagement parties, bachelorette parties and more, BlackFinn can provide an ideal special event, accommodating 25-200 guests. Catering is also available.

COUNTRY CLUB OF ORANGE PARK 2525 Country Club Blvd., 276-7660, ccofop.com The staff at the stately, Southern-style mansion offers event planning.

Several dining rooms can accommodate 50-200 guests.

HARMONIOUS MONKS 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., Mandarin, 880-3040, harmon iousmonks.net Hold rehearsal dinners and receptions at this site with a full bar, staff, kitchen, DJ and band with room rental.

Call for availability.

KALUBY’S BANQUET BALLROOM 8221 Southside Blvd., Ste. 3, 508-3045, kalubysbanquet ballroom.com 9920 Old Baymeadows Rd., Southside The ballrooms, featuring sparkling chandeliers and hardwood floors just right for dancing, seated dining and mingling, can accommodate up to 150 guests. Outside catering welcome at both locations, and Kaluby’s also offers catering, bar service, DJ and décor.

THE KEELER PROPERTY Normandy Boulevard, Westside, 535-0709, thekeeler property.com This rustic wedding and event venue is a 40acre farm-like area featuring a covered bridge, barn and springfed pond. The sites can accommodate 300 guests each.

NORTH BEACH BISTRO 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach, 372-4105, nbbistro.com The Bistro offers a private dining room/art gallery for rehearsal dinners, showers and receptions, which can accommodate 75 seated guests or 100 for a standing reception. A professional staff, serving custom fare, adds elegance to your event.

ONE OCEAN RESORT & SPA 1 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 853-2373, oneoceanresort.com This wedding destination features appointed luxury oceanfront accommodations, upscale restaurant Azurea, more than 10,000 square feet of event space for up to 500 guests with ballrooms and verandas. Catering and planning specialists coordinate everything from oceanfront ceremonies to candlelit receptions, and covered or uncovered cocktail hours.

THE RENAISSANCE RESORT 500 S. Legacy Trail, St. Augustine, 940-8635, worldgolfren aissance.com The Renaissance Resort can assist with rehearsal dinners, ceremonies, receptions and guestrooms – and a complementary honeymoon suite – in a beautiful setting.

RAMADA INN MANDARIN 3130 Hartley Rd., 268-8080, jaxramada.com Ramada Inn Mandarin offers complete facilities for rehearsal dinners, weddings and receptions for 10 to 300 guests. Ramada’s catering service provides anything from hors d’oeuvres to complete meals. A guest-services staff and reception planner are on hand. Group rates are available.

RIVERSIDE HOUSE 2165 Park St., Riverside, 387-9927, jljacksonville.org The Junior League of Jacksonville’s Riverside House includes a board room, auditorium, audio/PA system, reception hall and kitchen at affordable rates. Originally a church, this historic property is a setting for wedding ceremonies, receptions and meetings for 125 seated guests.

THE RIVERDALE INN 1521 Riverside Ave., 354-5080, riverdaleinn.com This historic Victorian mansion is a setting for intimate receptions, rehearsal dinners and bridal luncheons, and offers overnight accommodations. With an event coordinator onsite, packages can be tailored for large or small events.

ST. JOHNS GOLF & COUNTRY CLUB 205 St. Johns Golf Dr., St. Augustine, 940-3200, stjohns golf.com The clubhouse and facilities overlook the ninth and 18th greens. The club can accommodate 50-300, and up to 170 on the covered patio. Catering chefs, professional staff.

ST. AUGUSTINE HISTORIC INNS 88 Riberia St., Ste. 400, 866-801-2991, sayhiinns.com The St. Johns County Visitor & Convention Bureau has information on more than 20 B&Bs, all within walking distance of historic St. Augustine. In addition to breakfast, some inns offer other meals.

TPC SAWGRASS 110 Championship Way, Ponte Vedra, 273-3344, tpc.com Mediterranean Revival-style clubhouse with banquet halls for receptions, rehearsal dinners, luncheons and groom’s golf outings. The event lawn and gardens, overlooking The Stadium and Dye’s Valley Courses, for the ceremony or cocktail hour.

SAWGRASS MARRIOTT RESORT & BEACH CLUB 1000 PGA Tour Blvd., 285-7777, sawgrassmarriott.com Reception accommodations for 10-1,000, from a champagne reception to a multicourse dinner. Several ceremony locations onsite, including a gazebo. Packages include wedding coordination, theme decorations, cakes and honeymoons.

Reservations recommended up to one year in advance.

WORLD GOLF HALL OF FAME One World Golf Place, St. Augustine, 940-4000, worldgolf halloffame.org The Hall of Fame seats 200 guests and is available for wedding ceremonies, receptions and rehearsal dinners, with several event spaces from which to choose.

SHERATON JACKSONVILLE HOTEL 10605 Deerwood Park Blvd., 380-4136, sheratonjacks onville.com The ballroom can accommodate up to 260 guests, as well as professional culinary and service teams who strive to make the wedding of your dreams a reality.

AA SUSIE’S LIMOUSINE 6261 Powers Ave., Lakewood, 731-5466, 888-546-6178, susieslimo.com Exotic rides – stretch sedans and SUVs, land yachts, Lincolns, even a stretch PT Cruiser – and multiple trips, large groups (accommodating 8 to 30 passengers) and multiple locations are no problem.

Ceremony/Reception Venues AETNA RIVERFRONT WEDDINGS & EVENTS 841 Prudential Dr., 591-9591, jaxweddingsandevents.com

Transportation/Limos

CAREY LIMOUSINE 5320 Springfield Blvd., Jacksonville, 277-2707, 800-3364646, carey.com Vehicles for wedding parties and guests

up to eight passengers. Packages are available. Choose from stretch limos, luxury sedans, deluxe vans and mini buses.

COACH & CARRIAGE LIMOUSINE 6261 Powers Ave., Lakewood, 268-3555, coachandcarriage.com In business for more than 20 years, locally owned Coach & Carriage offers vehicles in every size and style – Jags, Lexus, Charger, stretch SUVs, Rolls Royce – for that all-important ride.

DANA’S LIMOUSINE & TRANSPORTATION SERVICES 10220 New Berlin Rd., Ste. 100, Northside, 744-3333, 800-456-5466, danaslimo.com Dana’s offers limos, vans, sedans and mini-busses to seat up to 33 passengers. Packages are available, which include black or white cars, all of which are non-smoking. Dana’s encourages couples to see the fleet before selecting a car.

LIGHTHOUSE LIMOUSINE & SEDAN SERVICE St. Augustine Airport, Main Terminal, 866-230-1003 Locally owned and operated. Offers chauffeur service in all non-smoking vehicles; professional chauffeurs.

OLD CITY HELICOPTERS, LLC 4900 U.S. 1, Ste. 400, St. Augustine Airport, 824-5506, oldcityhelicopters.com Flights for proposals, honeymoons, weddings, wedding arrivals and departures, and drops of flower petals.

Rentals

ANDY’S TAYLOR RENTAL CENTER 1005 Pope Road, St. Augustine, 471-2991, taylorrental. com Tents, canopies, tables, linens, place settings, accessories, bars and dance floors. Planning services available.

COASTAL CELEBRATIONS 900-F Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 501-9020, coastal celebrations.net Offers custom décor pieces, frames, table numbers, tables, trunks. Officiant packages are available.

FLAIRE EVENT RENTALS 2762 Park St., Riverside, 352-1832, flaireweddings.com Offers mahogany Chiavari chairs, specialty linens and event lighting, with delivery and set-up. No weekend overtime charges.

HANDMADE RENTALS 705-2686, handmaderentals.com Locally owned rental company offers décor options for indoor or outdoor weddings including vintage props, lighted cocktail bar, classic cars and arbor arches.

KIRBY RENTALS, LLC 8051 Bayberry Rd., Baymeadows, 739-1312, kirbytent. com Everything for the reception or party, including a variety of tent styles, tables, chairs, linens, china and flatware, catering equipment, podiums, chandeliers, stages and platforms.

Officiants

CREATIVE WEDDING CEREMONIES 1401 Riverplace Blvd., Ste. 2013, Southbank, 843-422-1292, creativeweddingceremonies.com. Experienced officiant Maureen Cockburn creates a personal ceremony – nondenominational, religious – your choice.

CUSTOM WEDDING OFFICIANT 2800 N. Sixth St., Ste. 261, St. Augustine, 982-2210, mycustomceremony.com. Award-winning notary public John Reardon can help create a romantic, personalized ceremony.

JAXNOTARY.COM 327-4066. Michael Scaliatine has provided professional notary public wedding officiant services throughout Northeast Florida for 10 years.

KAREN ROUMILLAT 1519 S.R. 13, St. Johns, 707-5207, karenroumillat.com. The nondenominational ordained minister and wedding officiant will travel to perform ceremonies from Amelia Island to St. Augustine.

Same-Sex Ceremony Providers

REVEREND DOCTOR GLEN ANGLIN-INGERSOLL, D.D. LAURA INGERSOLL laura.r.ingersoll@gmail.com, daviga31@gmail.com. Internet ordinations; $30/ceremony. Rev. Glen will attend in full formal Scottish regalia.

PHILLIP BABER Minister, Unitarian Universalist Church of Jacksonville, 7405 Arlington Expressway, 725-8133, 900-5775. Will sign marriage certificates for gay and lesbian couples for $30.

CHRISTA CAREY Florida Notary, christa0217@gmail.com RAY FORBESS SR. 630 W. Adams St., Downtown, 634-0900. Florida Bar No. 0194069. No charge if they don’t have money. If they do, $30 to Sulzbacher or No More Homeless Pets.

AVERY GARNER Pastor, St. Luke’s Community Church, 1140 McDuff Ave. S., Jacksonville, 389-7726. Free officiating (as schedule allows) for same-sex couples for the remainder of 2015 whether their preference is secular or Christian.

JONATHAN W. GRAESSLE WILLIAM S. GRAESSLE, P.A.

219 Newnan St., Fourth Floor, Jacksonville, 353-6333, jonathan@wsgraessle.com, wsgraessle.com. Notary Public; conduct the ceremony free; willing to marry any couple, samesex or opposite-sex, unable to afford a civil officiant.

LIANA ROTHSTEIN HOOD, ESQUIRE 4417 Beach Blvd., Ste. 104, Jacksonville, 398-1419, lianarhood@gmail.com Free JOHN MEEKS Notary Public, Ordained, Universal Life Church, johnmeeks@ bellsouth.net JENNIFER O’DONNELL Notary Public, Chamblin’s Uptown, 215 N. Laura St., Downtown, 674-0868. No cost to the LGBT community in the bookstore.

RONALD E. (RON) ROHRER Notary Public, River City Legal Support Inc., Orange Park, 800-940-2347, 356-2347. Florida Professional Reporter No. 82; Duval and Clay Counties REV. TERESA “TEA” RORSTROM wolfwind20@gmail.com, Pagan priest ordained through ULC SHANNON SCHOTT, BELKIS PLATA Plata Schott Attorneys & Counselors at Law, Notaries Public, 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 2500, Jacksonville, 516-5560, 516-5562, shannon@plataschott.com KERRY SPECKMAN Ordained Minister. kerry@thespecktator.com. $30 to perform same sex marriages; $5 of that to JASMYN. SHAVONE E. STEELE Notary Public, Florida. shavonesteele@gmail.com LAKEVIA WASHINGTON Ordained Minister, Southern Bliss Chapel & Event Venue, 600-4161, southernblisschapel@yahoo.com, southernblisschapel.com MAUREEN WELCH Notary Public. maureenmwelch@hotmail.com BENJAMIN THOMAS WHITEFIELD Ordained Minister, American Marriage Ministries, 859-8968, bentwhitefield@yahoo.com. $30.

Events/Miscellaneous

DESSERT UNDER THE STARS The annual Bella Luna: Dessert Under the Stars is held from 7-11 p.m. on Feb. 14 at Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank. Love-themed science shows, live star shows in Bryan-Gooding Planetarium, MOSH’s version of The Newlywed Game, live music, stargazing and access to museum exhibits are featured. Desserts, appetizers, beer and wine are served. Tickets are $75 per couple for members, $90 for nonmembers. 396-6674.

LGBT WEDDING EXPO MyGayJacksonville.com presents the inaugural expo noon-4 p.m. Feb. 15 at Crowne Plaza Riverfront, 1201 Riverplace Blvd., Southbank, featuring 50 exhibitors of wedding services including travel, event planning, legal, catering, retail and floral.

Admission is free. info@mygayjacksonville.com, 638-9044.

A TASTE OF BRIDAL BLISS This event is held noon-4 p.m. March 1 at One Ocean Resort & Spa, 1 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-7402, oneoceanresort. com/weddings. Area vendors, planners, photographers, floral designers, jewelers, wedding attire boutiques are on hand. A runway wedding fashion show, bridal luncheon, food samples and raffles are featured. Admission is $25.

PREMIER WEDDING EXPO The event, featuring vendors and exhibitors for every aspect of the complete wedding and reception, is held 1-4 p.m. Feb. 22 at Renaissance Resort, 500 S. Legacy Trail, World Golf Village, St. Augustine. Admission is $7 in advance, $10 at the door; kids younger than 5 admitted free. tictocevents.com KATHLEEN F. TRIEBWASSER 8833 Perimeter Park Blvd., Ste. 1001, Southside, 641-4600, kathleentriebwasser.com Triebwasser is a licensed marriage and family therapist providing premarital counseling, a one-on-one four-hour program, which includes a discount on a marriage license.

Dance Instructors/Studios

DANCE TRANCE FITNESS 214 Orange St., Neptune Beach, 246-4600, dancetrancefitness.com 1515 San Marco Blvd., San Marco, 390-0939 The studios offer a variety of classes with state-of-the-art sound and light effects. Free diet and nutrition counseling is available.

KALUBY’S DANCE CLUB 8221 Southside Blvd., Ste. 3, Southside, 338-9200, kalubys.com 13245 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 7, Intracoastal, 221-1331 The dance instructors have been helping hundreds of couples perfectly perform that important first dance together, for more than 30 years in Northeast Florida.

THE WEDDING DANCE STUDIO 3837 Southside Blvd., Ste. 2, Jacksonville, 998-3939, theweddingdancestudio.com Couples learn to dance for their first dance at the reception. The first lesson is free.

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Our Picks Reasons to leave the house this week

FOODIE DUDE ALTON BROWN

Chef and author Alton Brown is perhaps best known as the creator and host of the Food Network’s Good Eats, as well as a commentator on Iron Chef America and Cutthroat Kitchen. Brown admits his inspirations include Julia Child, Mr. Wizard and Monty Python, and his signature blend of cooking, experimentation and comedy have made him one of the most wellliked culinary celebs heating things up these days. His appearance here promises to be a night of humor, informative culinary action and, for the first time, live music. 7 p.m.

Feb. 8 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., $39-$125, floridatheatre.com.

ERSATZ BOLD AS LOVE GIMME HENDRIX

The tribute band is a peculiar phenomenon of popular culture mashing adoration, musical and visual emulation, and a good dose of kitsch. The Athens, Georgia, trio Gimme Hendrix – guitarist Eric Keaton, bassist Matt Garrison and drummer Brandon Hicks – deliver a high-volume version of the music of that original “Voodoo Chile”: Jimi Hendrix. Dressed to the nines in hippie threads, the band keeps it on point with dimed-out tube amps, wah pedals and worthy renditions of Hendrix’s music. Keeping in the spirit, dropping 20 hits of (fake, non-psychoactive) blotter acid is strongly encouraged. 8 p.m. Feb. 6 with openers Darkhorse Saloon, Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, $10.

FILM

OSCAR-NOMINATED SHORTS

While this year’s Academy Awards are abuzz about nominees Boyhood, Birdman and The Grand Budapest Hotel, there’s a whole category of short-and-sweet films that may be overlooked by a greater audience but are worthy contenders to take home the Oscar gold. Sun-Ray Cinema is screening two separate programs of this year’s nominated offerings – nine animated films and five live-action films – that run the gamut from the playful world of A Single Life to the poignant childhood buddy flick Boogaloo and Graham (pictured.) Films screen daily Feb. 6-12, 1028 Park St., Riverside, for time and ticket info, go to sunraycinema.com.

ROCK

ROY PEAK CD RELEASE

Northeast Florida multiinstrumentalist Roy Peak has been an active presence on the local music scene for decades, playing in bands including Radio Berlin and 86 Love. He’s now holding down the bass chair with the likes of XGeezer and The Robert Lester Folsom Band. His just-released debut album, All Is Well, is a notable collection of what Peak calls “a punkish folk-rock tromp through 12 songs about love, death and birds,” and features appearances by area music heavyweights like Thommy Berlin, Lauren Fincham, Terry Whitehead and Craig Spirko.

7:30 p.m. Feb. 6 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., San Marco, $10.

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CON GUSTO RETR-O-RAMA

Do you feel like your 28,000-piece Dr. Who collection is a little light on Daleks?

Well, fret no more! The pop cultural collectibles show Retr-O-Rama includes celebrity panels featuring Lew Temple (The Walking Dead), Hammer Horror stars Veronica Carlson and Suzanna Leigh, Arch Hall Jr. (The Choppers), authors and artists, a Cosplay contest (of course), sci-fi concert and 8,000-square feet of vintage toys, comics, and TV and film memorabilia. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Feb. 8 at Ramada Conference Center, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, $12 adult ticket includes free admission for one child 12 and under; $5 each additional child. $20 early bird preview 9-10 a.m., jaxretrorama.com.

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A&E // MUSIC

STEP OUT OF THE SHADOWS Celebrated singer-songwriter Glen Hansard makes a rare stop in Northeast Florida

I

musicians Eddie Vedder f you’ve ’ never heard h d off Irish I i h singer-songwriter i i i i Eddi V dd and d Joe Henry.

“The basics for the track had been laid Glen Hansard, go Google the dude as soon down during the Rhythm & Repose sessions,” as you finish reading this. Specifically, check Hansard says. “Then on an off day in Austin, out his Tiny Desk Concert on NPR Music.

Texas, during the tour, I was on with Eddie A Dublin native, Hansard has spent the last Vedder, Jake and Joe flew in and we got the 25 years as one of Ireland’s most influential rest of it [recorded]. It’s one of those days I’ll musicians — founding rock outfit The Frames always remember.” in 1990, performing as one-half of the duo All of the profits from the sales of the The Swell Season, winning an Oscar for Best digital single of “Drive All Night” will be Original Song for the film Once, in which donated to Little Kids Rock, an organization he also starred, and, as of late, growing a Clarence supported. formidable solo career.

“We had recorded the song in tribute to On the heels of his latest release, Drive him, and so honoring him by supporting his All Night (Anti- Records), a four-song EP charity made complete sense,” says Hansard. with three original tracks and a cover of “Little Kids Rock provides music instruments Bruce Springsteen’s tune “Drive All Night,” to inner-city schools, kids and Hansard makes his way to organizations. With the cuts Ponte Vedra Concert Hall on GLEN HANSARD with in funding for arts programs, Thursday, Feb. 5.

THE LOST BROTHERS they’re stepping up in a big way.”

This is a rare chance to 7 p.m. Feb. 5 at Ponte Vedra With a brand-new EP and see Hansard perform solo.

Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., much-anticipated solo debut He’s doing only 10 North general admission tickets $35 under his belt, Hansard hasn’t American dates from early (SRO), pvconcerthall.com forgotten about the other to mid-February — nearly musical projects in his life. The half of them have already Frames just announced two sold out. shows to be held in July in Ireland to mark “I haven’t made up the set list yet, but their 25th anniversary as a band. everything will be in play to perform,” Hansard Hansard’s also teamed up with Irglova (his told Folio Weekly via email from his home just Swell Season collaborator and former romantic outside of Dublin. “These songs are like your interest) recently for a few shows in South children; you’re proud of them all and showing Korea. “Mar has been busy with her solo career them off is always fun.” and her daughter turned 1 not long ago,” he Drive All Night comes on the heels of says. “So I know she’s busy and I’ve been busy.

Hansard’s debut solo album, Rhythm & Repose, and was largely inspired by the musician’s I’d love to do more shows and record, but at the friendship with Jake Clemons, nephew of moment, we’re both busy.”

Clarence “The Big Man” Clemons, the tenor With an impressive and lengthy career in saxophonist for Bruce Springsteen’s E Street the Irish music scene and abroad, Hansard Band until his death in 2011. says he doesn’t focus too much on how “I met Jake at, of all places, a Bruce others perceive him. show,” Hansard says. “I went down “I’m fortunate that folks still like with Marketa [Irglova of The Swell those records and want to hear Season] to a show in Dublin and he those songs,” he says. “I hope I’m was there on the side of the stage leading by example on what with his uncle. Jake’s hard to miss, you can do in this industry as a and we ended up talking and hitting songwriter and performer. I don’t it off. We reconnected in New York necessarily measure myself on what others say but, of course, it’s City and stayed in touch.” nice to be appreciated.”

Hansard and Clemons started playing shows together every chance Kara Pound they got. mail@folioweekly.com “I had learned ‘Drive All Night’ for a friend’s wedding around this time so it was fresh in my mind,” says Hansard. “We added it to the set and Jake also started joining us for shows when he was available.

When he told me it was one of Clarence’s favorite tracks to play on, it was hard not to call on it each night Jake was with us.”

For the EP’s version of the tune, Hansard called on friends and fellow

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A&E // MUSIC

A GUIDE TO GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE A primer on the latest release from the brilliant, violent, virile, drunk, One Spark-winning bluegrass kings

Badass Brigade: Mike Coker (left), Brett Bass, Jon Murphy

“T

o me, the most ‘outlaw’ thing anyone can do is to not give a shit. I personally don’t care what anyone thinks of me, the way I write or how I go about things.

Sometimes I feel my goal in life is to just be left alone, on my own land, free to shoot my guns in peace.” These words from Grandpa’s Cough Medicine frontman Brett Bass carry a roadside translation that speaks more to the way he and the band do business than the seemingly backwoods Zen it implies. To their fanatical local fan base, half the band’s appeal lies in the subject matter of their songs — from the risqué to the ribald to the outspoken outrageous and back again. That would be enough for any lesser group to get on with, but there is no denying the instrumental brilliance of their delivery of the message.

If sheer virtuosity is the idolatry of the bluegrass ethic, then GCM are The Olympus Mountain Boys: glove-tight and breakneck excursions from Bass’ flat-picked lines and Mike Coker’s intricate banjo rolls and solos at full-on speed (which belie a stage presence akin to a potted plant) all held together by wayward ex-opera singer Jon Murphy on the upright bass.

Yet again, it is silver bullet time for the band on the eve of the release of their third CD, 180 Proof, a fresh shot of their wares into the music business, as it were. Recorded in a scant week’s time at a Nashville studio, the disc is the outcome of the band’s musical domination of 2014’s One Spark Festival.

Ever the do-it-your-selfers, GCM used their winnings to partially fund the release.

“Hell, we’re still out of pocket to get it done,” says Bass. Produced by session veteran Randy Kohrs and featuring alt-country Americana luminaries Hank Williams III, Jason Carter and Aaron Till, 180 Proof is 15 polished gems of traditional bluegrass catapulted into the morass of today’s jaded values and primitive gratification.

Is this music written for the “everyman,” the humble shoes in which songwriters invariably place themselves?

“Why the hell would I write like that?” Bass responds. “I couldn’t write a song about getting up, going to work, coming home to watch TV. That’d bore the shit out of anyone. It’s the darker side that’s always interested me.”

Rather than elaborate on Bass’ statement, I’ve chosen to acquaint the reader with the darker-side aspects of 180 Proof in outline form, as per song subject matter. Topics covered: I. Alcohol Intoxication a. As a metaphor for a lifestyle, see the title track (vocal contribution from Hank III) b. As a bracing enhancement to overcome various obstacles: “Liquid Courage” (sung by Murphy, intoned in a stilted, weird blend of snake-oil barker and college professor) c. As in detrimental to good health: “Respect The Shine” (“should have stuck to beer and wine,” rhymes the refrain)

V. The Promise of The Revolution Unfulfilled II. Violence a. As clueless hippie contentment: La La Lolly a. As a tool to nurse a broken heart: “Van — pill-popping monosyllabic “hippie girl,” Trip” (in which the jealous protagonist real or imagined, doesn’t really matter. kidnaps and does away with his current On the surface, it may seem a collection squeeze’s exes one by one in selective of novelty tunes taken to the extreme every degrees of gore) time, with the sole intent to outrage. Not so; b. As retribution and social justice: “Blood it’s said show business types embraced Lenny & Justice” (you are a deviant criminal and Bruce until they realized he was serious. The I know where you live. If you won’t kill same applies to Grandpa’s Cough Medicine. yourself I’ll do it for you — point blank) To the point of attempts at censorship from c. As Jack Ruby-style patriotism: “Westboro festival promoters of Waltz” (eye for an their song content — eye is still murder) GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE ironically, in the face with a suitably po’CD RELEASE PARTY with of loving audience faced fiddle break THE WETLAND STRINGBAND response. from Jason Carter 8 p.m. Feb. 6 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., In a strange way, Downtown, $10, underbellylive.com a solid thread of the III. Virility band’s libertarian a. Its place in the male integrity runs through every lyric. “I look aging process: “Brand New 22” (not the caliber, mind you) — “a man is only as old as around everywhere and see people divided into camps — left-wingers here opposing all the woman that he feels.” The record’s lyrics the things they’ve been taught to oppose, same abound with double entendre with the right-wingers over there. There are b. Deferred gratification as directly good sides to both, but they prefer to be stuck proportional to the size of the codpiece: to one another with no meeting ground,” “Denim Prison,” a new riot in cellblock No. says Bass. “Sometimes I wonder why I do this 9 (inches, that is) job, who listens to bluegrass anyway? So I’ll continue to say whatever the fuck I please. I IV. Environmental Sensitivity really don’t care if anyone agrees or disagrees.” a. Endangered species: “Every Critter in the County” (hunted to extinction? … hangs up Arvid Smith the rifle, takes up fishin’) mail@folioweekly.com FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27

Midwestern metal kings WOLVHAMMER (pictured) play with PROMETHEAN HORDE and LEPROSY on Feb. 7 at Burro Bar.

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK

SPADE McQUADE 6 p.m. Feb. 4 and 11 at Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176, Downtown, 374-1247.

UNIVERSAL GREEN, THE CROWKEEPERS 6 p.m. Feb. 4 at 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown.

THE REVIVALISTS, BOBBY LEE RODGERS 8 p.m. Feb. 4 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473, $15.

CHARLIE & THE FOXTROTS 8 p.m. Feb. 4 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown.

GLEN HANSARD, THE LOST BROTHERS 7 p.m. Feb. 5 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, general admission tickets $35 (SRO).

BE EASY 7:30 p.m. Feb. 5 at Latitude 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., Southside, 365-5555.

BLAIR CRIMMINS & THE HOOKERS 8 p.m. Feb. 5 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, $8, underbellylive.com.

THE LEMONS, THE LIFEFORMS, NEW STRANGERS 8 p.m. Feb. 5 at rain dogs, 1045 Park St., Riverside, 379-4969, $5.

INNER DEMONS, A MATTER OF HONOR 8 p.m. Feb. 5 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $8.

TRAVIS TRITT 7 p.m. Feb. 6, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, $68-$88.

ROY PEAK CD RELEASE PARTY 7:30 p.m. Feb. 6 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., San Marco, 352-7008, $10.

DEADLY LO FI, STEVE GILBERT, LAUREL LEE & THE ESCAPEES 8 p.m. Feb. 6 at Shanghai Nobby’s, 10 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 547-2188, $5.

JOHNNY B (Final Goodbye), JENNI REID, KASSIDY & MALLORY 7:30 p.m. Feb. 6 at Murray Hill Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., Westside, 388-7807, $5.

DARRELL RAE 8 p.m. Feb. 6, Latitude 360.

CRYSTAL BOWERSOX 8 p.m. Feb. 6, Jack Rabbits, $8.

GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE CD Release Party, THE WETLAND STRINGBAND 8 p.m. Feb. 6, Underbelly, $10.

GIMME HENDRIX, DARKHORSE SALOON 8 p.m. Feb. 6, Freebird Live, $10.

GENERAL PATTON 10 p.m. Feb. 6 at Lynch’s Irish Pub, 541 First St. N., Jax Beach, 249-5181.

“3” THE BAND 10 p.m. Feb. 6 & 7 at Flying Iguana, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680.

City Rock Fest: DISCIPLE, DECYFER DOWN, SEVENTH DAY SLUMBER, NINE LASHES 7 p.m. Feb. 7 at Murray Hill Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., Westside, 388-7807, $12-$30.

SAMUEL SANDERS DUO 8 p.m. Feb. 7, Latitude 360.

CHUCK NASH 8 p.m. Feb. 7, Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub, Downtown.

JOE CROOKSTON 7:30 p.m. Feb. 7, Mudville Music Room, $10.

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VINCE GILL & TIME JUMPERS 8 p.m. Feb. 7 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $39.50-$59.50.

MEREMUTANTS DANCE TROUPE 8 p.m. Feb. 7 at Shantytown Pub, 22 W. Sixth St., Springfield, 798-8222, donations accepted.

MC GINGY, THE JOAKER, WEBEUNTITLED, DROW GENE$I$, MARCUS KANE, MICKEL 8 p.m. Feb. 7, Jack Rabbits, $8.

WOLVHAMMER, PROMETHEAN HORDE, LEPROSY 8 p.m. Feb. 7, Burro Bar, $7.

SYL JOHNSON 8 p.m. Feb. 7 at The Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 807-2010, $29.

SCHOLARS WORD 8 p.m. Feb. 7, Freebird Live, $8.

JONNIE MORGAN BAND 10 p.m. Feb. 7, Lynch’s Irish Pub. CHINA SKY 6 p.m. Feb. 8 at Dos Gatos, 123 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 354-0666.

SONGWRITER’S NIGHT 6 p.m. Feb. 8 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-5828.

SHOOTER JENNINGS, WAYMORE’S OUTLAWS 7 p.m. Feb. 8 at Mavericks at The Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 356-1110, $15-$20.

HUDSON FALCONS, DRESSED FOR THE OCCASION 8 p.m. Feb. 8, Burro Bar, $10.

JOSH HOYER & THE SHADOWBOXERS, MATT STEVENS 8 p.m. Feb. 8, Jack Rabbits, $8.

SETH GLIER, NATHANIEL GOOD 8 p.m. Feb. 8 at Café Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311, $10.

I THE BREATHER, EXOTYPE, FOREVERMORE, COME THE DOWN 5:30 p.m. Feb. 9, 1904 Music Hall, $15.

EVAN DANDO, SARA JOHNSTON, THE SENSES 8 p.m. Feb. 9, Jack Rabbits, $15.

INGRID MICHAELSON, GREG HOLDEN 7 p.m. Feb. 10, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, $32 advance; $35 day of show.

THE PUNKNECKS 10 p.m. Feb. 10, Burro Bar. AMFMS, VIBRANT LYE 8 p.m. Feb. 10, Underbelly, $7.

HANK & CUPCAKES, LAKE DISNEY, SEVERED + SAID 8 p.m. Feb. 10, Jack Rabbits, $8.

THE WAILERS, 418 BAND 7 p.m. Feb. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, $28 (SRO).

COYOTE UNION, THIS FRONTIER NEEDS HEROES, SPIRAL BOUND, THE SEA THE SEA 8 p.m. Feb. 11, Jack Rabbits, $8.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

ANVIL, LORD DYING, SUNLORD Feb. 12, Freebird Live LYNYRD SKYNYRD Feb. 12 & 13, The Florida Theatre JON SHAIN, RUPERT WATES Feb. 12, Mudville Music Room GENEVIEVE Feb. 12, Jack Rabbits ANA POPVIC Feb. 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CHERRY POPPIN’ DADDIES Feb. 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SEAN DANIELSEN (SMILE EMPTY SOUL) Feb. 13, Underbelly THE CONTORTIONIST, REVOCATION, FALLUJAH, TOOTHGRINDER Feb. 13, 1904 Music Hall GOLDEN PELICANS, NUTRITIONAL BEAST, ELECTRIC

WATER SUPER FUNK, SALYUT Feb. 13, rain dogs RESIGNATED Feb. 13 & 14, Lynch’s Irish Pub WAKE THE LIVING Feb. 13, Jack Rabbits MINDSLIP, GENERATOR Feb. 13, Freebird Live DIANA ROSS Feb. 14, The Florida Theatre Love Your Country: MUDTOWN, SNAKE BLOOD REMEDY, COUGAR BARREL, JACKIE STRANGER Feb. 14, rain dogs TURNSTILE, SUPERHEAVEN, FIRE & ICE, FREEDOM Feb. 14, 1904 Music Hall BILL MANSPEAKER Feb. 14, Underbelly HARRY CONNICK JR. Feb. 15, T-U Center YONDER MOUNTAIN STRING BAND, HORSE FEATHERS Feb. 15, Freebird Live DADS, SOMOS Feb. 16, Jack Rabbits SOJA, THE GREEN Feb. 17, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BRIDGING THE MUSIC SHOWCASE Feb. 18, 1904 Music Hall Palatka Bluegrass Festival: DAILEY & VINCENT, RHONDA VINCENT, DOYLE LAWSON & QUICKSILVER, RUSSELL MOORE & IIIRD TYME OUT, SPINNEY BROTHERS, ALAN SIBLEY & THE MAGNOLIA RAMBLERS, BOXCARS, JIMMY FORTUNE, DRY BRANCH FIRE SQUAD, GRASCALS, GIBSON BROTHERS, MARTY RAYBON & FULL CIRCLE, LITTLE ROY & LIZZY Feb. 19-21, Rodeheaver Boys Ranch JASON MRAZ Feb. 19, Times-Union Center’s Moran Theater NORTH MISSISSIPPI ALLSTARS, ANDERS OSBORNE Feb. 19, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall FULL SERVICE, ROOT OF ALL Feb. 19, Café Eleven JOHN HAMMOND Feb. 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall NEW KINGSTON, THROUGH THE ROOTS Feb. 20, Jack Rabbits MARCUS ROBERTS TRIO Feb. 20, The Florida Theatre SOMMORE, TONY ROCK, GARY OWEN, HUGGY LOWDOWN Feb. 20, Times-Union Center DALTON STANLEY BAND Feb. 20 & 21, Lynch’s Irish Pub REBIRTH BRASS BAND Feb. 20, Ritz Theatre MICHAEL FRANTI, ETHAN TUCKER Feb. 20, Freebird Live GURF MORLIX Feb. 20, Mudville Music Room DENNIS DeYOUNG & Music of Styx Feb. 21, Florida Theatre BLOWFLY, TWINKI, TOUGH JUNKIE Feb. 21, Burro Bar HEADBANG FOR THE HIGHWAY Feb. 21, 1904 Music Hall DANCING WITH GHOSTS, RADAR VS. WOLF Feb. 21, Jack Rabbits AL DI MEOLA Feb. 21, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LUCERO, RYAN BINGHAM, TWIN FORKS Feb. 21, Freebird Live ANCIENT DEEP, ROCKS N BLUNTS, $BIG BUCKS CREW$, VLAD THE INHALER, MATT CAULDER Feb. 22, 1904 Music Hall R.L. GRIME, DJEMBA DJEMBA, TOMMY KRUISE, SIR CHARLES Feb. 22, Freebird Live AMBER Feb. 22, Hamburger Mary’s THE BUNNY THE BEAR, ROSEDALE Feb. 22, Jack Rabbits JACKSON BROWNE Feb. 23, The Florida Theatre PVRIS Feb. 23, 1904 Music Hall THE NORTHERNERS, MASTER RADICAL Feb. 23, Jack Rabbits MOD SUN, HUEY MACK, BLACKBEAR, KR, KARIZMA, DJ GNASH Feb. 24, Jack Rabbits THE EXPENDABLES, BALLYHOO Feb. 25, Freebird Live TOMBOI, BOYFRIEND Feb. 25, 1904 Music Hall THE MIDTOWN MEN Feb. 26, The Florida Theatre LEO KOTTKE Feb. 26, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SHPONGLE, PHUTUREPRIMITIVE Feb. 26, Freebird Live CAM MEEKINS Feb. 26, Jack Rabbits

FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC

CHINA SKY holds an album listening party for their new release China Sky II on Feb. 8 at Dos Gatos in Downtown Jacksonville.

THE DOOBIE BROTHERS, MARSHALL TUCKER BAND Feb. 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre TAB SPENCER Feb. 27, Burro Bar CHILLULA Feb. 27, Lynch’s Irish Pub BIG SANDY AND HIS FLY-RITE BOYS, DIRT FLOOR KRACKERS Feb. 27, Jack Rabbits ’68, THE AMITY AFFLICTION Feb. 28, Underbelly KOTA MUNDI Feb. 28, Lynch’s Irish Pub THE BASTARD SUNS Feb. 28, Jack Rabbits DENDERA BLOODBATH, WOVEN IN, DAGGER BEACH Feb. 28, Burro Bar Music for Meows: GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE, PHILIP PAN, DIXIE RODEO, BLUE VERONOCA, ROCK HELL VICTORY, JOEL LAND March 1, Jack Rabbits SABALS March 2, Jack Rabbits STRINGFEVER March 5, Café Eleven LORETTA LYNN March 5, The Florida Theatre

30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015

MOPE GROOVES March 5, Shantytown Pub Aura Music & Arts Festival: MOE, THE DISCO BISCUITS, PAPADOSIO, SNARKY PUPPY, THE MAIN SQUEEZE, PIGEONS PLAYING PING PONG, McLOVINS, GHOST OWL March 6-8, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park FRONT PORCH STEP, HAVE MERCY, ALCOA, BRIGADES, HEAD NORTH March 6, 1904 Music Hall STRANGER March 6 & 7, Lynch’s Irish Pub The Great Guitar Gathering: MARTIN TAYLOR, RICHARD SMITH March 7, The Florida Theatre TANNAHILL WEAVERS March 7, Mudville Music Room SOUTHERN CULTURE ON THE SKIDS, THE WOOLLY BUSHMEN, RIVERNECKS March 8, Colonial Quarter KALIN & MYLES March 8, Jack Rabbits DAN & SHAY, CANAAN SMITH March 8, Freebird Live AVA MENDOZA March 9, rain dogs THREE DOG NIGHT March 10, The Florida Theatre

REV. PEYTON’S BIG DAMN BAND March 10, Jack Rabbits JOURNEY, STEVE MILLER BAND, TOWER OF POWER March 12, Veterans Memorial Arena FULLSET March 12, Mudville Music Room BILLY SHADDOX March 12, Jack Rabbits LEWIS BLACK March 12, UNF Fine Arts Center LA LUZ, THE SHIVAS, WET NURSE March 13, Colonial Quarter St. Augustine Celtic Music & Heritage Festival: ALBANNACH, DUBLIN CITY RAMBLERS, RATHKELTAIR, SEARSON, WHISKEY OF THE DAMNED, POOR ANGUS, MAKEM & SPAIN, IRISH ECHOES March 13-15, St. Francis Field YAMADEO March 13 & 14, Lynch’s Irish Pub ELVIS COSTELLO March 14, The Florida Theatre HAUS PARTY (Drag & Music Show) March 14, rain dogs ELTON JOHN March 14, Veterans Memorial Arena JOHN MELLENCAMP March 15, Times-Union Center Natural Life Music Festival: THE HOWLIN’ BROTHERS, MANDOLIN ORANGE, TALL TALL TREES, JUDAH & THE LION, HORSE FEATHERS March 15, Metropolitan Park MASON JENNINGS March 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BALANCE & COMPOSURE, CIRCA SURVIVE March 17, Underbelly Suwannee Spring Festival: WOOD BROTHERS, SHOVELS AND ROPE, INFAMOUS STRINGDUSTERS, KELLER WILLIAMS & TRAVELIN’ McCOURYS, BLIND BOYS of ALABAMA, THE LARRY KEEL EXPERIENCE, DONNA the BUFFALO, JOE CRAVEN, JIM LAUDERDALE March 19, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park SUICIDE SILENCE, EMMURE, WITHIN THE RUINS, FIT FOR AN AUTOPSY March 19, Freebird Live BUCKWHEAT ZYDECO March 19, Colonial Quarter CYRUS CHESTNUT March 20, Ritz Theatre THE B-52s March 21, The Florida Theatre MAVIS STAPLES March 21, Ritz Theatre JACKIE EVANCHE March 22, The Florida Theatre RECORD FAIR March 22, St. Augustine Amphitheatre AGNOSTIC FRONT, COLDSIDE March 22, Burro Bar FRNKIERO & THE CELLABRATION, HOMELESS GOSPEL CHOIR, MODERN CHEMISTRY March 24, Jack Rabbits ATMOSPHERE March 24, Freebird Live SARAH McLACHLAN March 25, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall NICKELBACK March 25, Veterans Memorial Arena THE ORIGINAL WAILERS March 25, Café Eleven TOM PAPA March 26, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ERIC CHURCH March 26, Veterans Memorial Arena MANATEES, THE MOLD, NUTRITIONAL BEAST March 26, rain dogs THIRD DAY, BRANDON HEATH March 26, St. Augustine Amphitheatre SPRAY PAINT, SALYUT March 27, rain dogs WILLIE SUGARCAPPS, SETH WALKER March 27, Colonial Quarter Spring Music & Craft Beer Festival: THE WAILERS, TRAE PIERCE & T-STONE BAND, MATISYAHU, RAILROAD EARTH, TURKUAZ, SUPERVILLAINS, THE FRITZ, SPIRITUAL REZ, CORBITT BROTHERS March 28 & 29, Main Beach, Fernandina BRONX WANDERERS March 29, The Florida Theatre COBALT CRANES March 29, rain dogs GUNS OUT AT SUNDOWN March 30, Jack Rabbits SWANS March 31, Jack Rabbits KNOCKED LOOSE, NO ZODIAC, DENIED TIL DEATH April 1, Jack Rabbits 1964: Tribute to The Beatles April 3, St. Augustine Amphitheatre BASEBALL PROJECT, CHUCK PROPHET April 3, Colonial Quarter SouthEast Beast Festival: NEW FOUND GLORY, CAPSIZE, COUNTERPARTS, H20, CITIZEN, DEFEATER, TURNSTILE, THIS WILD LIFE, CRIME IN STEREO, FIREWORKS, GIDEON, A LOSS FOR WORDS, THE ORPHAN, THE POET, ARTIFEX PEREO, BAD LUCK, BOYS NO GOOD, VILLAINS, XERXES, LIFE of AGONY, BIOHAZARD, WISDOM in CHAINS, EARTH CRISIS, THE BANNER, ROTTING OUT, TRUE LOVE April 4 & 5, Aqua Nightclub PIECES OF DREAM April 4, Ritz Theatre DELLA MAE March 4, Colonial Quarter THE STEEP CANYON RANGERS April 8, P.V. Concert Hall JANIS IAN, TOM PAXTON April 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall Stringbreak Music Fest: STEEP CANYON RANGERS, WILLIE SUGARCAPPS, THE RAGBIRDS, HAVE GUN WILL TRAVEL, GATORBONE, BRIAN SUTHERLAND BAND, 8 BALL AITKEN, GRANT PEEPLES, GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE, THE LAGERHEADS April 9-12, Sertoma Youth Ranch, Brooksville WEED, BLUNT GUTZ April 10, Shantytown Pub THE ORCHESTRA April 11, The Florida Theatre Scream Nation Reintroduction Tour: KID INK, JEREMIH, DEJ LOAF April 11, T-U Center Wanee Music Festival: WIDESPREAD PANIC, GREGG ALLMAN, GOV’T MULE, EARTH, WIND & FIRE, CHEAP TRICK, JAIMOE’S JASSSZ BAND, BUTCH TRUCKS & VERY SPECIAL FRIENDS, THE WORD (ROBERT RANDOLPH, JOHN MEDESKI, LUTHER DICKINSON, CODY DICKINSON, CHRIS CHEW), HOT TUNA ELECTRIC, JJ GREY & MOFRO, OTEIL & FRIENDS, GALACTIC, ZAPPA PLAYS ZAPPA, LEFTOVER SALMON, BILL PAYNE, YONDER MOUNTAIN STRING BAND, IVAN NEVILLE’S DUMPSTAPHUNK, RICH ROBINSON & DOYLE BRAMHALL II, RAW OYSTER CULT, DRAGON SMOKE, THE REVIVALISTS, HOME AT LAST, TEA LEAF GREEN, BOBBY LEE ROGERS TRIO, PINK TALKING FISH, ERIC LINDELL & COMPANY, ROYAL SOUTHERN BROTHERHOOD, TWIDDLE, NATURAL CHILD, JACOB JEFFRIES BAND, JUKE April 16-18, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park HERITAGE BLUES ORCHESTRA April 17, Ritz Theatre Springing the Blues: CHUBBY CARRIER AND THE BAYOU

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC SWAMP BAND, SELWYN BIRCHWOOD, EDDIE SHAW & THE WOLF GANG, TINSLEY ELLIS, JOHN NEMETH, SAMANTHA FISH, SHARRIE WILLIAMS, THE LEE BOYS, CEDRIC BURNSIDE, LIGHTNIN’ MALCOLM, KARA GRAINGER, THE BETTY FOX BAND, BACKTRACK BLUES BAND, HOMEMADE JAMZ BAND, BRADY CLAMPITT, MAMA BLUE, LINDA GRENVILLE, JIM McKABA AND THE AFTER HOURS BAND, PARKER URBAN BAND, WOODY AND THE PECKERS, BAY STREET, UNCLE JONNY’S BLUES MACHINE April 17-19, SeaWalk Pavilion THE WHO HITS 50! TOUR, JOAN JETT & THE BLACKHEARTS April 19, Veterans Memorial Arena ALAN JACKSON, JON PARDI, BRANDY CLARK April 24, St. Augustine Amphitheatre HOME FREE A CAPELLA GROUP April 24, P.V. Concert Hall RAIN April 24, The Florida Theatre Welcome to Rockville: SLIPKNOT, KORN, GODSMACK, SLAYER, MARILYN MANSON, MINISTRY, SLASH, MYLES KENNEDY & the CONSPIRATORS, PAPA ROACH, BREAKING BENJAMIN, SUICIDAL TENDENCIES April 25 & 26, Metropolitan Park THE MOWGLIS, FENCES, HIPPO CAMPUS April 26, Jack Rabbits RONNIE MILSAP April 26, The Florida Theatre THE ROBERT CRAY BAND, SHEMEKIA COPELAND April 27, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CHRIS BOTTI April 30, The Florida Theatre WILCO May 1, St. Augustine Amphitheatre HOZIER May 5, The Florida Theatre NEUTRAL MILK HOTEL May 7, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ZZ TOP, JEFF BECK May 9, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JENNY LEWIS May 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LISA LOEB, FLAGSHIP ROMANCE May 10, P.V. Concert Hall J. RODDY WALSTON & THE BUSINESS May 14, Jack Rabbits RODNEY CARRINGTON May 14, T-U Center PIERCE PETTIS May 14, Café Eleven ED KOWALCZYK May 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall IGGY AZALEA May 18, Veterans Memorial Arena Florida Country Superfest: ZAC BROWN BAND, KEITH URBAN, BRANTLEY GILBERT, COLE SWINDELL, TYLER FARR, DAVID NAIL, COLT FORD, DANIELLE BRADBERY, THE SWON BROTHERS June 13 & 14, EverBank Field Warped Tour: ALIVE LIKE ME, AS IT IS, BABY BABY, BEAUTIFUL BODIES, BEING AS AN OCEAN, BLACK BOOTS, BESSTHEFALL, BORN CAGES, BOYMEETSWORLD, CANDY HEARTS, CROSSFAITH, ESCAPE THE FATE, FAMILY FORCE 5, FIT FOR A KING, HANDGUNS, HANDS LIKE HOUSES, HUNDREDTH, I KILLED THE PROM QUEEN, ICON FOR HIRE, KOSHA DILLZ, LE CASTLE VANIA, LEE COREY OSWALD, M4SONIC, MATCHOOK ROMANCE, NECK DEEP, PALISADES, ROTTING OUT, SPLITBREED, THE RELAPSE SYMPHONY, THE WONDER YEARS, TROPHY EYES, WHILE SHE SLEEPS, YOUTH IN REVOLT July 6, Morocco Shrine Auditorium “WEIRD AL” YANKOVIC Aug. 16, The Florida Theatre MARK KNOPFLER Oct. 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre

LIVE MUSIC CLUBS AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

Local faves “3” play Feb. 6 & 7 at Flying Iguana in Neptune Beach. every weekend HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815 Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. Dan Evans, Spade McQuade 6 p.m. every Sun. Back From the Brink 9 p.m. every Mon. LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-2922 Live jazz/soft rock music every Fri. & Sat. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 General Patton 10 p.m. Feb. 6. Jonnie Morgan Band 10 p.m. Feb. 7.

Dirty Pete every Wed. Split Tone every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Who Rescued Who every Sun. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., 246-1500 Dan Hunting Feb. 4. Lucky Costello 8 p.m. Feb. 5. Paul Miller Feb. 6 MEZZA RESTAURANT & BAR, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573 Neil Dixon at 6 p.m. every Tue. Gypsies Ginger 6 p.m. every Wed. Mike Shackelford & Steve Shanholtzer 6 p.m. Thur.

NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE, 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300 Cloud 9 Feb. 4. Fat Cactus Feb. 6. Chillakaya Feb. 7. Eric Alabiso Feb. 8. Mystic Dino Feb. 11. Live music every night NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 Job Meiller 7 p.m. Feb. 5. Elizabeth Rogers 7:30 p.m. Feb. 6. Sidetrack 7:30 p.m. Feb. 7 OCEAN 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060 Taylor Roberts 7 p.m. Feb. 4 & 5. Erin & the Project 8 p.m.

Feb. 6 & 7. Live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat. RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 2417877 Dan Evans Feb. 4. Permission Feb. 5. The Rick Arcusa Band Feb. 6 & 7. 3 the Band Feb. 8. Live music Thur.-Sun. SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 1018 N. Third St., 372-4456 Billy Buchanan 5 p.m. Feb. 6 & 8 ZETA BREWING COMPANY, 131 First Ave. N., 372-0727 Live music every Thur.-Mon.

Feb. 8 FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247 Spade McQuade 6 p.m. Feb. 4 & 11. Jig to a Milestone Feb. 6. Chuck Nash 8 p.m. Feb. 7. Live music every Fri. & Sat. THE JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Canaan Smith Feb. 5. Radio 80 7 p.m. Feb. 7 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Roy Luis every Wed. DJ Vinn every Thur. DJ 007 every Fri. Bay Street every Sat. MAVERICKS, Jax Landing, 2 Independent Dr., 356-1110 Ryan Star 6 p.m. Feb. 6. Shooter Jennings, Waymore’s Outlaws 7 p.m. Feb. 8. Joe Buck, Big Tasty Thur.-Sat. UNDERBELLY, 113 E. Bay St., 699-8186 Whetherman Feb. 4.

Blair Crimmins & the Hookers 8 p.m. Feb. 5. Grandpa’s Cough Medicine CD release party, The Wetland Stringband 8 p.m.

Feb. 6. AMFMs, Vibrant Lye 8 p.m. Feb. 10 THE VOLSTEAD, 115 W. Adams St., 414-3171 Go Get Gone 8 p.m. Feb. 4

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DAVID’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, 802 Ash St., 310-6049 John Springer every Tue.-Wed. Aaron Bing 6 p.m. Fri. & Sat. GREEN TURTLE TAVERN, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Buck Smith every Thur. Yancy Clegg Sun. Vinyl Record Nite every Tue. HAMMERHEAD, 2045 S. Fletcher Ave., 491-7783 DJ DOWNTOWN Refresh 9 p.m. every Sun. 1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. Universal Green, The PALACE SALOON, 117 Centre. St., 491-3332 Wes Cobb Crowkeepers, Shoot the Pier 6 p.m. Feb. 4. Medal Militia Feb. 6.

Produced PROMISEevery OF Sun. BENEFIT ASK FOR ACTION every Wed. Schnockered Buck Smith every Tue. SUPPORT I the Breather, Exotype, Forevermore, Come the Down 6 p.m.

THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 491-8999 Every Fri. & Sat. Feb. 9 BURRO BAR, 100 E. Adams St., 353-4686 Charlie & the AVONDALE, ORTEGA Foxtrots 8 p.m. Feb. 4. Wolvhammer, Promethean Horde, CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores Leprosy 8 p.m. Feb. 7. Hudson Falcons, Dressed for the 9 p.m. every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. Occasion Feb. 8. The Punknecks, The Graysmiths Feb. 10 ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free at 9 p.m. every Tue. & DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 China Sky 6 p.m.

Thur. Indie dance at 9 p.m. Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance at 9 p.m. every Fri. Live music every Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200 Jonnie Morgan Band Feb. 5. Aaron Koerner Feb. 6. Barrett Jockers Feb. 7. Live music every Thur.-Sat.

RUN DATE: 032614

by KL_ Checked by

Sales Rep _KL

THE BEACHES

(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)

BILLY’S BOATHOUSE, 2321 Beach Blvd., 241-9771 Supernatural 6 p.m. Feb. 5. Jetty Cats 6 p.m. Feb. 6. Billy Bowers 6 p.m. Feb. 7. Open mic every Wed. BLUE WATER ISLAND GRILL, 205 First St. N., 249-0083 Treehouse 9 p.m. Feb. 6. Live music Fri. & Sat. BRASS ANCHOR PUB, 2292 Mayport Rd., Ste. 35, Atlantic Beach, 249-0301 Joe Oliff 8 p.m. Feb. 4 CASA MARINA HOTEL, 691 First St. N., 270-0025 Charlie Walker 1 p.m. Feb. 8. Ryan Crary 7 p.m. Feb. 11 CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 Irish music at 6:30 p.m. every Sun. DJ Hal every Sat. FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 3 the Band 10 p.m. Feb. 6 & 7. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Red Beard & Stinky E at 10 p.m. every Thur.

Darren Corlew at 8:30 p.m. every Sun. FLY’S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 Sailfish Dr., Atlantic Beach, 246-4293 Live music every Fri. & Sat. FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 The Revivalists, Bobby Lee Rodgers 8 p.m. Feb. 4. Gimme Hendrix, Darkhorse Saloon 8 p.m. Feb. 6. Scholars Word 8 p.m. Feb. 7. Live music

FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC FLEMING ISLAND

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999 Live music every Fri. & Sat. MERCURY MOON, 2015 C.R. 220, 215-8999 Live music every Fri. & Sat. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Robert Brown Jr. & the Confluent 9 p.m. Feb. 7. Live music Fri. & Sat. DJ Throwback 8 p.m. every Thur.

Deck music 5 p.m. every Fri. & Sat., 4:30 p.m. every Sun.

PONTE VEDRA, PALM VALLEY

PUSSER’S CARIBBEAN GRILLE, 816 A1A N., 280-7766 Live music every Wed.-Sun. TABLE 1, 330 A1A N., Ste. 208, 280-5515 Sea Floor Explosives 8 p.m. Feb. 7. Live music Thur.-Sun.

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

ACROSS THE STREET, 948 Edgewood Ave. S., 683-4182 Johnny & the Meaner Matts 8 p.m. Feb. 6. Bill Ricci 8 p.m.

Feb. 10. Dirty Reggae Punx Feb. 11 MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., 388-7807

INTRACOASTAL WEST

CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, 645-5162 Live music 10 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. DJ Big Rob Thur., Sun. & Tue. JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Lucky Stiff 8:30 p.m. Feb. 6.

Mr. Natural 8:30 p.m. Feb. 7 YOUR PLACE, 13245 Atlantic Blvd., 221-9994 RadioLove 9 p.m. Feb. 5

MANDARIN, JULINGTON

HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-3040 Open mic: Synergy 8 p.m. every Wed. World’s Most Talented Waitstaff at 9 p.m. every Fri. MONKEY’S UNCLE, 10503 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 15, 260-1349 Chrome Heart 8 p.m. Feb. 6

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells, 272-5959 John Michael every Wed.-Sat. PREVATT’S SPORTS BAR, 2620 Blanding Blvd., 282-1564 DJ Tammy 9 p.m. every Wed. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Love Monkeys 10 p.m. Feb. 5 & 6. DJ Corey B every Wed. DJ Big Mike every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat.

VINCE GILL and his band THE TIME JUMPERS, featuring some of the greatest musicians in Nashville, perform on Feb. 7 at The Florida Theatre.

Johnny B, Jenni Reid, Kassidy & Mallory 7:30 p.m. Feb. 6.

City Rock Fest: Disciple, Decyfer Down, Seventh Day Slumber, Nine Lashes at 8 p.m. Feb. 7 rain dogs, 1045 Park St., Riverside, 379-4969 The Lemons, The Lifeforms, New Strangers Feb. 5. DJ Paten Locke every first Fri. DJ Shotgun every first Sat. DJ Rickulous every last Fri.

ST. AUGUSTINE

THE CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 The Committee Feb. 6. Gary Douglas Campbell, The Committee Feb. 7. Vinny Jacobs at 2 p.m. on Feb. 8 CAFE ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311 Seth Glier, Nathaniel Good at 8 p.m. Feb. 8 HARRY’S, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765 Billy Bowers at 6 p.m. Feb. 11 MILL TOP TAVERN, 19-1/2 St. George St., 829-2329 Highway 1 at 9 p.m. Feb. 6 & 7. Colton McKenna at 1 p.m.

Feb. 8 PIZZALLEY’S CHIANTI ROOM, 60 Charlotte St., 825-4100 Billy Bowers Feb. 10. Michael Howard at 3 p.m. every Mon.Fri. SHANGHAI NOBBY’S, 10 Anastasia Blvd., 547-2188 Deadly Lo Fi, Steve Gilbert, Laurel Lee & the Escapees at 8 p.m.

Feb. 6 TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Matanzas at 9 p.m. Feb. 6 & 7. Matanzas every Sun.-Thur. Elizabeth Roth Sat.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

INDOCHINE, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 503-7013 Dance Radio Underground, Sugar & Cream, Black Hoodie, Bass Therapy Sessions at 10 p.m., Allan GIz-Roc Oteyza, Scott Perry aka TrapNasty and Cry Havoc rotate, mid.-3 a.m. every Sat. JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Inner Demons, A Matter of Honor at 8 p.m. Feb. 5. Crystal Bowersox at 8 p.m. Feb. 6. MC Gingy, The Joaker, Webeuntitled, Drow Gene$i$, Marcus Kane, Mickel at 8 p.m.

Feb. 7. Josh Hoyer & the Shadowboxers, Matt Stevens at 8 p.m. Feb. 8. Evan Dando, Sara Johnston, The Senses at 8 p.m. Feb. 9. Hank & the Cupcakes, Lake Disney, Severed + Said at 8 p.m. Feb. 10. Coyote Union, This Frontier Needs Heroes, Spiral Bound, The Sea The Sea at 8 p.m. Feb. 11 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 3527008 Roy Peak CD release party at 7:30 p.m. Feb. 6. Joe Crookston at 7:30 p.m. Feb. 7

SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS

COMEDY CLUB, 11000 Beach Blvd., Ste. 8, 646-4277 The Fascinating Rhythm Orchestra at 7 p.m. every first & third Wed. CORNER BISTRO, 9823 Tapestry Park Cir., 619-1931 Matt Hall every Wed.-Sat. Steve Wheeler every Fri.

32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC DANCIN DRAGON 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138D, 363-9888 A DJ spins every Fri. & Sat. LATITUDE 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 Be Easy 7:30 p.m. Feb. 5. Darrell Rae 8 p.m., Who Rescued Who 8:30 p.m., VJ Fellin 11:30 p.m. Feb. 6. Samuel Sanders 8 p.m.

Feb. 7. Stank Sauce Feb. 8. Live music every Thur.-Sun. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 997-1955 Whetherman at 10 p.m. Feb. 5 & 6. Live music every Thur.-Sat. MY PLACE BAR & GRILL, 9550 Baymeadows, 737-5299 Fat Cactus every Mon. Live music every night WILD WING CAFÉ, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Chris Brinkley 7:30 p.m. Feb. 4. Shotgun Redd Feb. 6. Live music every Fri. & Sat.

WORLD OF BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 551-5929 Roshamneaux 8 p.m. Feb. 5. The jonnie Morgan Band 9 p.m.

Feb. 6. Chilly Rhino 9 p.m. Feb. 7. Who Rescued Who Feb. 13.

Live music every Fri. & Sat.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

SHANTYTOWN PUB, 22 W. Sixth St., Springfield, 798-8222 Meremuteants Dance Troupe 8 p.m. Feb. 7 THREE LAYERS COFFEEHOUSE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 Open mic every Thur.

THE KNIFE

INDIE 904

I

t’s a painful admission, but an honest one, and so here it is … I’m a sucker for female singer/songwriters. I love the best of them: Joni Mitchell, Carole King, Joan Armatrading, Fiona Apple, Kate Bush, Regina Spektor, Bjork, Aimee Mann, Loretta Lynn and so on. But I also enjoy the crap. I can indulge in some real garbage when it comes to pop female songwriters and do so often without too much guilt. I’m not sure how much sway Nico held in the creation of her Velvet Underground songs, but they are, in my mind, simultaneously terrible and great.

And “Chelsea Girl” is laughably precious, but so, so good.

But for a true (and embarrassing) example of just how much leeway I give a female songwriter, have a listen to Japanese singer Miwa Yoshida and her band Dreams Come True. An amazing singer and arranger, her music falls somewhere between teenybopper twee and intolerably slick pop poop. And yes, I am well aware that any shred of respect I may have had at this point in my writing career has now been set ablaze. But I felt it was necessary to give a little perspective before reviewing the new album by local songwriter Summer Goodman.

Goodman’s five-song EP, Greatest Fears, is one of the first albums to be released on Jacksonville University’s Dolphinium Records.

Before we get into the meat of it, it should be noted that Goodman has one of those indie voices that you either love or hate. And, again, I am loath to admit that I love it. She has that smooth, breathy delivery that wins the hearts of angsty teenaged girls and their swooning emo boyfriends. It’s that almost-Britishy accent thing that some singers are wont to affect from time to time, and she uses it to her advantage.

Greatest Fears opens with the title track, and it’s not Goodman’s best effort. Not that it’s a bad song, but it pales compared to others on the record. Sure, there’s a nice banjo in there, enhancing that Americana-indie-folk sound she’s going for, and Goodman’s acoustic strums are a sweet if innocuous canvas for her silky voice. But there are some real problems here.

Tape hiss, for one. And this may be a misnomer, since it’s more likely Goodman recorded digitally. But whatever is causing the hiss is a distraction within this ballad. It’s not quite noticeable until the band drops out, and it’s just Goodman and her guitar. Then it’s there, right up front, and it’s all you’ll hear.

Quibble No. 2: Though Goodman is an on-pitch vocalist, the backgrounds on this one are slightly sharp — and it’s another unfortunate hindrance.

But those gripes falls away when track two comes along. “Found Her” is a dark and brooding song about happening upon a girl beneath an “ancient and rotting willow tree.” It’s a haunting piece digging deep into hopelessness

with just an acoustic guitar as a shovel.

Goodman’s plaintive voice sings cryptically about burying that girl along with the suggestion that the girl did something cruel to her, and that she will realize it fully in the afterlife.

Now on a roll, Goodman follows up with “Anymore,” a breezy, upbeat pop number with swirling violas and cellos, and a sing-alongable chorus. Still a bit dark, and fitting the overarching theme of the album, Goodman sings about wanting to escape her circumstances, but finding she has no choice but to stay. “The Scarlet Letter” piggybacks on this idea, with the opening line “I can’t get away from you.” High in the mix are the minor-key cello line and kick drum, pushing the anxiety levels up on this one. Though it’s hard for me to overlook the tempo fluctuation during the break about halfway through the song, I shall, in favor of the mood Goodman and her band create.

With some work, the band could be a tight and together ensemble.

The album closes with “A Way,” a brief but lovely duet. Unlike in the title track, the backgrounds on this one are spot-on, lifting the piece out of the typicalness it could easily have slipped into. This is the song I went back to several times, and it shows Goodman’s promise as a songwriter. Lyrically, melodically and harmonically, it’s a winner, just clever enough to be interesting, just simple enough to find purchase in the psyche of the casual listener.

Goodman is on a path — that is clear — and with time spent on her instrument and in the studio, she will certainly create stronger pieces.

Greatest Fears is a commendable start, and Dolphinium, true to its mission, has begun to assemble a roster of diverse talent. Also recently released on the label: Scott Watkins’ American Piano Sonatas. Now maybe they can eye out a doom metal or progressive mariachi band. You know, really shake things up.

John E. Citrone theknife@folioweekly.com FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33

A&E // MOVIES

SUB GENRE

Jude Law stars in an enjoyable underwater suspense-thriller

A

s the day begins for Robinson (this film is about manly men at sea, so last names only, thank you), he’s fired from his job as a submarine captain for a salvage company.

“I lost my family to this job,” he crustily says, immediately making us question his values.

It’s the only job he’s ever known — what’s he to do now?

Hunt for treasure, that’s what. Black Sea follows Robinson (Jude Law) as he assembles a team of 12 seafarers to search for two tons of gold allegedly left behind by Hitler in the depths of the Black Sea. The crew is the expected mix of jaded veterans, wide-eyed newbies, cantankerous old cranks and a chef who spits on the food to clean it.

Robinson believes he knows where the gold is and leads the men accordingly, but tension and greed among the six British and six Russians on board suggest not all of them will make it through the quest alive. Still, as predictable and inexplicable as it is at times, the suspense is palpable as the situation worsens. We rarely get a break from the claustrophobic confines of the submarine.

It’s dark, dank and must smell awful, giving it an authentic feeling and, at the same time, making it a place I’d never want to be.

Director Kevin Macdonald is steady and assured as he fashions the submarine into both

REMEMBER LOVE

to understand. Even Law, whose character is another character and a metaphor. The cavernous the sturdy no-nonsense leader, sports a thick walls, outdated technology and years of rust and Scottish burr — words tumble indiscernibly decay within the submarine frequently remind from the side of his mouth. It’s important to us that where the submariners are is just as commit to your character, but not to the point dangerous as their clear dislike for one another.

And the vessel malfunctions repeatedly, spawning that you lose the audience.

Still, this is a tense, gritty high panic each time. drama that asks us to embrace Accordingly, the deeper BLACK SEA all the gruff machismo it throws the submarine sinks, the more ***@ our way. They’re all flawed men despair seeps into its crew Rated R from the start, and adding the — note how the morale and element of avarice makes them desperation of the men get worse dangerous. You don’t necessarily as the sub reaches new depths. expect a study in human nature from Black This is a subtle touch, but something a skilled Sea, but it’s these nuances that make it a film filmmaker should be able to pull off, and worth watching.

Macdonald succeeds here.

Less successful, frustratingly, are the actors’ Dan Hudak accents, many of which are thick and difficult mail@folioweekly.com progressing gradually for us but all too fast for Alice and her family. Her fear is legitimate and her pain — more emotional than physical — is unimaginable. When Alice wakes in the middle of the night to tell John what’s happening for the first time, she breaks down and sobs in his arms.

I nearly sobbed, too. Other elements are more subtle; take notice of Moore’s hair and clothes throughout the film. They morph from bold and full of life to haggard and frumpy, ransacked by the inability to think clearly and with purpose.

Importantly, co-writers and directors Richard Glatzer and Wash Westmoreland also give ample time to the effect Alice’s condition has on her family, which is substantial. John is loving and supportive, but even the best of souls needs a break from the constant care and worry. Anna fights to maintain her mother’s dignity, Tom is encouraging even though he feels helpless, and Lydia — who has a strained relationship with her mother — struggles to be a good daughter while not losing track of her own dreams. Kristen Stewart has taken plenty of heat in the press (much of it deserved), but she’s strong here. She makes Lydia a compassionate soul in search of herself at a time when her mother is losing herself. It’s a balanced dichotomy that works because of the performances and smart structure (Kristen Stewart) is an aspiring actress in of the story. Their chats, fights and angst all Los Angeles. feel real, to the point that Moore will owe a big Alice could not have dreamed of a better thank-you to Stewart for any award the veteran life. But she’s getting forgetful. Words elude actor receives. her, she loses her place during speeches, and Still Alice is not for the weak she even gets lost during a run or bashful. If you’ve had a family around campus. The diagnosis: STILL ALICE member endure Alzheimer’s Early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. ***G or dementia, it may bring back The reaction: complete shock and RATED PG-13 painful memories. This is a terror — it’s rare for someone movie that punches you in the her age to be afflicted with this gut with inevitabilities and the unfairness of life, debilitating disease. leaving viewers with tears in their eyes and the Alice deteriorates quickly, and it’s painful to hope that it doesn’t happen to them. watch. Moore, who is absolutely phenomenal, goes from energetic and vibrant to flustered Dan Hudak and defeated. It’s a heartbreaking transition, mail@folioweekly.com

Julianne Moore delivers an outstanding performance in this emotional flick about living with Alzheimer’s

S

ad, beautiful, and determined to not leave a dry eye in the house, Still Alice is a devastating film you will not soon forget.

Watching it requires having an open heart, access to lots of tissues, and the ability to realize you’re going see an otherwise healthy woman undergo a horrible ordeal.

When we first meet Alice (Julianne Moore), it’s her 50th birthday, and she’s happy.

She teaches linguistics at Columbia University in New York City, where her husband John (Alec Baldwin) is also employed. Their three kids are grown and on their own: Anna (Kate Bosworth) and husband Charlie (Shane McRae) are ready for a baby, Tom (Hunter Parrish) is in medical school, and Lydia

34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015

A&E // MOVIES FILM RATINGS

THIRD DATE **** FIRST DATE **@@

SECOND DATE ***@ LAST DATE *@@@

SCREENINGS AROUND TOWN

SUN-RAY CINEMA A Most Violent Year, Inherent Vice and Birdman screen at Sun-Ray Cinema, 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. The Princess Bride screens at 7 p.m.

Feb. 5. The Walking Dead shows at 9 p.m.; Better Call Saul 10 p.m. Feb. 8, free. Oscar Nominated Shorts run through Feb. 12. I Am Eleven screens at 7 p.m. Feb. 12. Check website for details.

LATITUDE 360 MOVIES Penguins of Madagascar and Fury screen at Latitude 360’s CineGrille Theater, 10370 Philips Hwy., Southside, 3655555, latitude360.com/jacksonville-fl.

THE CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ Boyhood and Ida are screened through Feb. 12 at Corazon Cinema, 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com.

WGHF IMAX THEATER Game of Thrones, Hidden Universe, Island of Lemurs Madagascar and Journey to the South Pacific screen at World Golf Village Hall of Fame IMAX Theater, 1 World Golf Place, St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com.

NOW SHOWING

BLACKHAT *@@@ Rated R Overwritten and underwhelming, Michael Mann’s Blackhat should’ve been a taut cyber thriller of espionage and intrigue.

It’s not. It’s a cyber bore full of nonsense, held together with

a plot that’s denser than it needs to be. Costars Viola Davis, Chris Hemsworth, Leehom Wang and Wei Tang. — D.H. BLACK OR WHITE *G@@ Rated PG-13 Writer/director Mike Binder seems overly confident that he’s on to something really great. The central character is Elliott Anderson (Kevin Costner), a successful attorney who’s been raising his 7-year-old granddaughter, Eloise (Jillian Estell) with his wife, Carol (Jennifer Ehle), ever since their daughter died during childbirth. As the film opens, Carol has died in a car accident, and Elliott’s grief-stricken, turning to alcohol for comfort. He gets an offer to help take care of the little girl from Rowena (Octavia Spencer), Eloise’s other grandmother, but Elliott harbors a deep grudge against her son, Eloise’s absentee, drug-addict father, Reggie (André Holland). So when Gramps resists sharing custody, Rowena heads to court. It’s a superficial way to capitalize on an edgy premise, and it’s hard to watch it tossed around casually by a filmmaker who seems to have no clue how to take it seriously. — Scott Renshaw THE BOY NEXT DOOR Rated R Remember the ’80s genre of “from hell” movies? Nanny From Hell (The Hand That Rocks the Cradle), Roommate From Hell (Single White Female) and Mistress From Hell (Fatal Attraction). The Boy Next Door makes a late entry in that sleazy bunch: the Himbo Jailbait From Hell. Jennifer Lopez plays a single mom entangled with her underage stud muffin neighbor, only to find he’s just too psychotically clingy. — Steve Schneider CAKE Rated R Jennifer Aniston is getting a lot of buzz for her portrayal of

MAGIC LANTERNS

ATONEMENT AND RECKONING

T

he most famous brothers writing and directing films today may be the Coens (Fargo, No Country for Old Men) and the Wachowskis (The Matrix Trilogy). Even more remarkable for my money, though, are the McDonagh brothers, each of whom writes and directs his own films independently of the other. So far, neither has done anything less than terrific.

Martin McDonagh’s feature films are In Bruges (2008) and Seven Psychopaths (2012), profane comic thrillers with originality and rich characterization. Elder sib John Michael McDonagh’s first film as writer/director was The Guard (2011), starring Brendan Gleeson as an Irish cop partnered with FBI agent Don Cheadle on the trail of drug smugglers. As of this writing, The Guard is the most successful independent Irish film ever, just eclipsing the younger brother’s In Bruges.

John Michael’s second film, Calvary (released in 2014 and now available for home viewing) is the best of the lot and just as good as this year’s various award nominees, if not better.

It’s also quite different in tone and substance from either of the brothers’ other films.

Profoundly moving and thought-provoking, the witty film has clever plot development and characterization. Brendan Gleeson plays Father James, parish priest of a small Irish town who, in the film’s opening, is visited in the confessional by a man who promises to kill him in a week. The unidentified nonpenitent’s reasoning is straightforward enough: Repeatedly victimized as a child by a pedophile priest, he now intends to seek a vengeance that will matter, since the priest he intends to

“Hey gang! Let’s irreparably damage the space-time continuum!” The teenybopper sci-fi flick Project Almanac is currently screening.

murder is also innocent.

The film follows Father James through the week as he considers the man out to kill him.

He attends to his personal and pastoral duties; among those is to comfort and counsel to his grown daughter Fiona (Kelly Reilly), recovering from a suicide attempt. (Anything but another philandering cleric, Father James was formerly married, but entered the priesthood after his wife’s painful and protracted death.)

Though Father James has many friends and acquaintances, most seem indifferent if not contemptuous of the Church. These include an elderly writer (M. Emmet Walsh), a cynical physician (Aiden Gillen, Game of Thrones), and a resident multimillionaire (Dylan Moran) who, despite his incredible wealth, has lost everything of true value in his life. There’s also a butcher (Chris O’Dowd) whose wife is having an open affair with an African immigrant, all three of them brazenly ridiculing Father James for his efforts to stop her from being physically abused by either man. On the positive side is a young woman whose faith remains firm and grounded despite the death of her husband in a senseless accident.

And there are others.

Featuring compelling, winning performances by its ensemble of talented actors, particularly an absolutely masterful, restrained performance

by Brendan Gleeson, Calvary never shies away from those kinds of issues (like clerical abuse) that have disenchanted so many with the Catholic Church. Instead, the film focuses on a decent man who tries to practice his very real faith with compassion and humanity.

A visual treat as well in its use of the Irish landscape, Calvary is a magnificent achievement by John Michael McDonagh and his cast and a real testament to the power of love and forgiveness.

Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com

Claire, a woman with debilitating chronic pain who becomes overly obsessed by another woman from her support group who killed herself. Costars Anna Kendrick, Mamie Gummer, Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy.

FOXCATCHER ***G Rated R The sordid tale of John DuPont’s (Steve Carell) great wealth and unfulfilled desires focuses on his amateur wrestling philanthropy. John lures 1984 Olympic gold medalist Mark Schultz (Channing Tatum) to his Foxcatcher Farms to train; DuPont thinks he’s a coach and providing training facilities for future Olympic champions makes him a great American.

John invites Mark’s more celebrated brother, fellow Olympic champion Dave Schultz (Mark Ruffalo), to train at Foxcatcher, but Dave declines. Good thinking, Dave. — D.H. JUPITER ASCENDING Rated PG-13 Saying the Wachowski sibs make commercial disappointments is like calling the Holocaust “regrettable.”

Speed Racer, Cloud Atlas … their list of expensive flops is longer than Michael Fassbender’s inseam. Into that tradition walks Jupiter Ass Ending (bless you, Autocorrect!), a sci-fi actioner that puts Channing Tatum on the trail of a princess played by Mila Kunis. Postponed from its planned summer 2014 release to a less (ahem!) competitive February 2015 slot, the movie had a surprise debut at this year’s Sundance Film Festival – to a reaction that was, reportedly, wholesale derision. More than a week before the picture’s national rollout, prognosticators were debating how many millions the studio was set to lose. So I guess the Wachowskis are finished in the industry, huh? Heck, no! This is Warner Brothers we’re talking about. Failure is the only thing they know how to reward. How do you think Zack Snyder pays the mortgage? — S.S. THE LOFT Rated R This is an example of Crises Befalling People You Don’t Give a Rat’s Ass About. A dilemma befalls a bunch of fellas who keep a loft apartment as party pad – only to have it all threatened when a chick turns up dead there. Out here in sane America, this sort of film is known as a Serves You Right movie, but expect lots of hand-wringing and teeth-gnashing from the four people who worried what was going to happen to Tom Cruise in Eyes Wide Shut. Adulterous goons with excessive real-estate budgets – they’re just like us! — S.S. MORTDECAI Rated R When a successful actor like Johnny Depp does an iffy project like this, they say “Maybe he just likes to work.”

The kinds of “work” Cap’n Jack could’ve done instead: 1) building homes for Habitat for Humanity; 2) delivering parcels for UPS; 3) dealing dope out of the back of a Twistee Treat. Here he’s an art dealer evading cops and robbers as they all hunt for Nazi gold. — S.S. A MOST VIOLENT YEAR **G@ Rated R Director/screenwriter J.C. Chandor’s new film stars Oscar Isaac, as Abel Morales, a hard-working immigrant battling the odds, and his social station, in New York City. Through persistence and discipline, he’s the head of the city’s fastest-growing heating-oil business. But he’s facing his biggest challenge: his delivery trucks are being hijacked at gunpoint by thugs who don’t even want the vehicles, just the heating oil. Fighting by Abel’s side are his tough-asnails wife, Anna, played by Jessica Chastain, and his friend and lawyer, Andrew, portrayed by Albert Brooks. Belying its title, A Most Violent Year is surprisingly non-violent. This is a

story not of bloodshed, but of emotional brutality and the rat race in a world of urban and moral decay. To tell that tale, Chandor employs a subtle, slow-building tension, helped by atmospheric production design and cinematography. — Cameron Meier

PADDINGTON Rated PG The comedy about a very clever bear living with a British family features Nicole Kidman, Hugh Bonneville, Julie Walters and Ben Whishaw as the voice of the Paddington.

PROJECT ALMANAC Rated PG-13 Friends develop a makeshift time machine.

SEVENTH SON Rated PG-13 America finally admits en masse that Jeff Bridges has become a really awful actor. Oh, I know you have his face on a T-shirt – along with a slogan claiming that he “abides” for some reason. But be honest: When was the last time you found him remotely believable as any character whatsoever – even “Jeff Bridges”? In this one, the scion of the Sea Hunt empire plays an ancient knight searching for an apprentice; apparently, he’s affecting a vocal delivery that’s equal parts Anglo pretension and talking with your mouth full. Porridge time at Hogwarts? Universal should be so lucky. What we’ve got here looks a lot less like Harry Potter and a lot more like Highlander. The second one. — S.S. THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE: SPONGE OUT OF WATER Rated PG Back in 1998, what did you think you’d be doing in 2015?

If the answer is “Eagerly awaiting the second SpongeBob Squarepants movie,” then this is our week to howl. And if you never stopped loving Guns ’n Roses, then you’ll be tickled pink that “Welcome to the Jungle” is the soundtrack to the promos for this second foray into (and then away from) Bikini Bottom. I don’t have a problem with any of that – got no beef with Le Sponge, and I’m always in the mood for Axl. I’m just worried that 2016 is going to bring a Teletubbies movie. With music by Candlebox. — S.S. STILL ALICE ***G Rated PG-13 Reviewed in this issue.

STRANGE MAGIC Rated PG Once upon a time, calling something a musical meant you had actually written some original songs for it. Now, all you have to do is throw together a bunch of pop hits from the last six decades, and you have Strange Magic, which, on the basis of that description, sounds like an animated Moulin Rouge. But the comparison LucasFilm is making is actually to A Midsummer Night’s Dream, with fairies and other fantastic creatures in pursuit of a powerful potion. Not only is George Lucas the film’s executive producer, he gets a story credit. The voice cast includes Alan Cumming, Alfred Molina and Kristin Chenoweth. — S.S. THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING ***G Rated PG-13 This Stephen Hawking biopic, directed by James Marsh and starring Eddie Redmayne as the brilliant physicist, shows the progression of his motor neuron disease, which ravages his body but leaves his mind intact. The more Stephen’s disease progresses, the better the movie gets, mostly due to Redmayne’s Oscar-worthy performance. Costars Harry Lloyd, Charlie Cox and Maxine Peake. — D.H.

FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35

A&E // ARTS

DIRE FUNNIES

And then there are the “Tragix” — these are sad stories told through an ever-changing cast of heartbroken cute animals.

Local visual artist Clay Doran serves up a second issue of his weird, dark comic Grim Times

C

lay Doran is drawn to the dark side.

Well, that might be extreme, but his contribution to the comics scene surely leans more toward S. Clay Wilson than Superman. Under his visual arts alias Squid Dust, Doran creates phantasmagoric pieces that are tripped out, like a chimerical blend of sharp graphic design and black metal album covers. In recent years, he’s aimed his creative energies toward creating and producing the comic Grim Times, which places his skills at blending weirdness with a savvy visual style square on the page.

Doran’s release party this week at rain dogs., for the second issue of Grim Times, features a DJ “spinning old sad soul dance hits,” a display of original drawings from the comics, free stickers, exclusive release party shirts and cookies from Sweet Theory Baking Co. Doran will be signing and selling both issues of Grim Times.

Folio Weekly zapped Doran some questions via email about his comic work; he was kind enough to zip us back his answers.

Is there a continuing narrative or storyline from first issue to the latest?

No. Each issue comprises about 10 short comics all under their own title. Sort of how an old Harvey comic may have two pages of Casper, then three of Hot Stuff, followed by a crossword puzzle — all similar in style but selfcontained stories.

Folio Weekly: What was the impetus behind creating Grim Times?

Clay Doran: Long story short, Grim Times was born out of being dumped. I have always loved drawing cartoons and creating characters but never really felt like I had a story to tell … until I was dumped. Then it all seemed to pour out. With a lot more time on my hands and a need to keep my mind busy, I began fleshing out a bunch of ideas and actually creating cohesive comics. Some of these dealt with the breakup and some just social observations or politics. Soon I ended up with about 30 pages.

[upcoming] issue was created in the months after the breakup, as my feelings started to shift to bitterness and betrayal. So I do think that the arc of my feelings could be tracked if the issues are read in succession; punches you in the gut — a rollercoaster of all that is grim.

To what does the title Grim Times allude?

A friend and I had always toyed around with the idea of creating a ’zine-style newspaper that focused on the grimmest stories in the news.

Like a “grim” New York “Times,” focused on the “grim times” in which we live. While that never came to be, the name always stuck with me. So when I ended up with a stack of comics and was mulling over an umbrella title to place them all under, Grim Times just seemed to fit.

36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015

In each issue, is there one long story or is it more episodic, with separate, shorter stories?

While there isn’t a single story continuing through the whole issue, I do think that each issue has a certain mood to it. The first was dealing with breakup stuff, so it has a very heartbroken, somber feel, while the second

GRIM TIMES ISSUE No. 2 RELEASE

8 p.m. Feb. 8 at rain dogs., 1045 Park St., Riverside, 379-4969 Grim Times is available at grimtimescomics.com

Are there recurring characters?

Yes. Grim Times has several recurring characters. First of all, Skunk & Badger are (you guessed it) a skunk and a badger, though they live like humans in suburban USA. Skunk is a punk girl who still believes in the power of punk music and that the youth will change the world, while Badger is a jaded, lazy, older punk that loves to shoot down Skunk’s optimism with misanthropy.

GreyNeck is a redneck that I swear I could’ve met a hundred times growing up in Middleburg. He’s a hateful bigot who thinks he’s got all the answers to society’s problems.

Saatchi the Suicidal Bat is a naïve bat that can’t seem to escape the horror of everyday life and by the end of every strip, he just can’t take it anymore.

When did you start drawing comics? Were there certain artists you liked in particular that you may have emulated when you were starting out?

I had a comic in fourth grade called Bugman; he was basically a bargain bin version of The Tick. He would try to solve crimes but was too clumsy and dumb to ever get his act together. As far as Grim Times, I am specifically emulating the Harvey and Dell comics of the ’40s and ’50s, maybe with a little ZAP-era R. Crumb and the rough-around-the-edges aesthetic of DIY ’zine comix like Ben SnakePit or Johnny Ryan.

You also create visual art as Squid Dust; do you think there’s an overlap or a kind of interplay between your visual art pieces and creating the comic?

I think that Grim Times would never have existed without Squid Dust. I had always used Squid Dust as a kind of “lowbrow” illustration pseudonym. I designed shirts for bands like Evergreen Terrace and Dead Tank Records in a very similar style to the drawings I do in Grim Times. Also, the Kids with Trails story Shaun Thurston and I created in 2012 got me thinking a lot about writing a comic. If you look closely in the comics, you can see some “SQD DST” hidden in there from time to time.

Since you’re working in this framework of panels, do you feel that the comic form can be a bit constrictive? Or do you like having these kinds of parameters in place?

So far, I think comics are a really fun way to tell a story. I enjoy the “architecture” of stacking panels and creating interesting and appealing compositions. Making design decisions in conjunction with a story is challenging and I enjoy figuring it all out. I feel like I’m still fairly new to the comics game and therefore have a lot to learn. I haven’t had a chance to feel constrained yet. When there are cartoonists like Chris Ware and Jesse Jacobs out there, it’s hard to feel like there is anything you can’t do.

Do you think there’s a decent local scene of comic artists?

I think Ryan Black, Ed Dansart, Jim Ward and Andre Gruber are great, and I’m always interested in what they are creating.

Daniel A. Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com

PERFORMANCE

A&E // ARTS & EVENTS

MARIMBA AT LIBRARY Tony Steve leads a marimba ensemble at 3 p.m. Feb. 8 at Main Library’s Hicks Auditorium, 303 N. THE CAPITOL STEPS This musical comedy troupe appears Laura St., Downtown, 630-2353, jplmusic.blogspot.com. at 7:30 p.m. Feb. 10, 11 and 12, 8 p.m. Feb. 13, 2 and 8 p.m.

MOSTLY MOZART The Florida Chamber Music Project plays Feb. 14 and 2 and 5:30 p.m. Feb. 15 at FSCJ’s Nathan H. works by Mozart and Verdi at 3 p.m. Feb. 8 at Ponte Vedra Wilson Center for the Performing Arts, 11901 Beach Blvd., Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, $25, flchambermusic.org.

Southside, 633-6110, $34.50, artistseriesjax.org.

SING INTO SPRING Student chorale ensembles, conductors ANCIENT CITY BRASS BAND Local musicians play a free and soloists perform at 4 p.m. Feb. 8 at UNF’s Recital Hall, unf. concert at 6:30 p.m. Feb. 4 at Headquarters Library, 1895 edu/coas/music/calendar.

Town Center Blvd., Fleming Island, 278-3722, ccpl.lib.fl.us.

UNF VIOLIN WORKSHOP Violinist Lin He presents a master THE BOYS’ CHOIR OF TALLAHASSEE The 60-voice choir class 5-7 p.m. Feb. 9 at UNF’s Recital Hall, unf.edu/coas/ performs 6 p.m. Feb. 7 at Woodlawn Presbyterian Church, 3026 music/calendar.

Woodlawn Rd., Northside, 631-8898. The choir is a community CHAMBER ENSEMBLES Jacksonville University student outreach program designed for boys ages 8-18 enrolled in chamber groups perform at 7:30 p.m. Feb. 10 at Terry Concert schools throughout Tallahassee and surrounding areas.

Hall, 2800 University Blvd. N., Arlington, 256-7386, arts.ju.edu.

NEW SHANGHAI CIRCUS Chinese acrobats, jugglers and ORCHESTRA CONCERTO SHOWCASE Dr. Simon Shiao contortionists perform at 7:30 p.m. Feb. 4 at Wilson Center for conducts the student orchestra at 7:30 p.m. Feb. 11 at UNF’s the Performing Arts, 11901 Beach Blvd., Southside, 633-6110, Robinson Theater, $10, unf.edu/coas/music/calendar. $35, artistseriesjax.org SWEET BIRD OF YOUTH Tennessee Williams’ story s staged at 7:30 p.m. Feb. 5, 6, 7, 12, 13 and 14 and 2 p.m. Feb. 8 and PATTI VASQUEZ Comic Vasquez performs at 8:04 p.m. Feb. 6 15 at Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, and 8:04 and 10:10 p.m. Feb. 7 at Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 825-1164, $15, limelight-theatre.org.

11000 Beach Blvd., $10-$25, 646-4277, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

LET’S GO SCIENCE Professor Smart and Dr. Knowitall combine BRUCE BRUCE Comic View favorite Bruce is on at 8 p.m. Feb. science and humor at 1:30 and 4:30 p.m. Feb. 8 at Wilson Center, 5 and 8 and 10 p.m. Feb. 6 and 7 at the Comedy Zone, 3130 11901 Beach Blvd., 633-6110, $16.50, artistseriesjax.org.

Hartley Rd., Mandarin, $30-$35, 292-4242, comedyzone.com.

PARENTS NIGHT OUT This comedy is staged at 7:30 p.m. Feb. COLEMAN GREEN Coleman performs at 7 and 10:30 p.m. Feb. 6 at Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts, 283 College Drive, 6 and 7 and 9:30 p.m. Feb. 7 at Latitude 360, 10370 Philips Orange Park, 276-6750, $15, thcenter.org.

Hwy., Southside, 365-5555, latitude360.com.

A TOBY SHOW This comedy, about a country bumpkin with a desire to “right the wrongs,” is staged at 8 p.m. Feb. 6 and 7 and 3 p.m. Feb. 8 at Orange Park Community Theatre, 2900 DASOTA AUDITIONS Douglas Anderson School of the Arts Moody Ave., Orange Park, 276-2599, $15, $10 for students; auditions for students (grades 9-12) in dance, visual arts, vocal through Feb. 22, opct.org. music, piano, instrumental music, film, theater, musical theater THE YEAR OF MAGICAL THINKING Anne Kraft stars in Joan and creative writing at 6 p.m. Feb. 10 at 2445 San Diego Rd., Didion’s one-woman play, 2 p.m. Feb. 8 at St. Augustine Art San Marco; 346-5620 ext. 101, da-arts.org.

Association, 22 Marine St., 824-2310, $20, staaa.org.

POP ART WORKSHOP Kids in grades 2-5 make pop art 1-3:30 LOVE LETTERS A.R. Gurney’s dramatic work, which uses an p.m. Feb. 7 at The Cultural Center at Ponte Vedra Beach, 50 epistolary form to chronicle the 50-year friendship of two Executive Way, 280-0614, $15; $10 for members, ccpvb.org. women, is staged at 7:30 p.m. on Feb. 6 and 7 and 2:30 ACTORS NEEDED Fernandina Little Theatre auditions six men p.m. on Feb. 8 at Fernandina Little Theatre, 1014 Beech and six women (both ages 17+) for Twelfth Night; 1:30 p.m. Feb. St., Fernandina Beach, 277-2202, $17, ameliaflt.org.

THE SECRET Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre presents this play, written by and starring Lee Weaver, at 8 p.m. Feb. 6 and 7 and 2 p.m. Feb. 8 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-7177, $20, abettheatre.com.

THE MOUNTAINTOP This depiction of Dr. Martin Luther King’s last night, in Room 306 of Memphis’ Lorraine Hotel, is staged at 7 p.m. on Feb. 6, 6 p.m. Feb. 7 and 3 p.m. Feb. 8 at Stage Aurora, 5164 Norwood Ave., Northside, advance tickets $20; $25 at the door; 765-7372, stageaurora.org.

THE BUDDY HOLLY STORY The musical is accompanied by a themed menu by Executive Chef DeJuan Roy. Dinner 6 p.m., curtain up 8 p.m. Feb. 4-8; brunch 11 a.m., show 1:15 p.m. Feb. 7 and brunch at noon, show 2 p.m. Feb. 8 at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $35-$55, 6411212, alhambrajax.com.

THE 25th ANNUAL PUTNAM SPELLING BEE This musical comedy is staged at 7:30 p.m. Feb. 4 and 7, and 5:30 and 7:30 p.m. Feb. 5 and 6 at Douglas Anderson School of the Arts, 2445 San Diego Rd., San Marco, 346-5620, advance and student tickets $10; $12 at the door, The opening reception for an exhibit of new works by da-arts.org.

ROSAMOND PARRISH (pictured), GARY BORSE and EILEEN THE BOOK OF MORMON This nine-time CORSE is held from 5-9 p.m. Feb. 6 at Plum Gallery.

Tony Award-winning musical satire, written by the creators of South Park, is staged at 7:30 p.m. Feb. 4 and 5, 8 p.m. Feb. 6, 2 and 8 7 at 1014 Beech St., Fernandina Beach, 277-2202, ameliaflt.org. p.m. Feb. 7 and 1:30 and 7 p.m. Feb. 8 at the T-U Center’s Moran Theater, Downtown, 442-2929, $37.50-$77.50, artistseriesjax.org.

FIRST WEDNESDAY ART WALK This month’s theme is “Art from the HeART.” 5-9 p.m. Feb. 4, featuring a dozen live music venues and hotspots after 9 p.m. and 49 participating venues, FACULTY GUEST RECITAL Oboist Ann Adams, violist Angelo over 15 blocks in Downtown Jacksonville, iloveartwalk.com.

Goderre and pianist Rose Grace perform at 7:30 p.m. Feb. 5 at FIRST FRIDAY ART WALK The tour of Art Galleries of St. University of North Florida’s Recital Hall, 1 UNF Dr., Southside, Augustine is held Feb. 6 at more than 25 galleries, 829-0065.

620-2878, unf.edu/coas/music/calendar.

WINTER ARTS MARKET Local and regional art, food artists FRIDAY MUSICALE Pianist Martin Munich performs works by and a farmers market are featured 10 a.m.-1 p.m. every Ravel, Pavane and Debussy, at 11 a.m. and 7:30 p.m. Feb. 6 at Sat. under the Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free 645 Oak St., Riverside, 355-7584, fridaymusicale.com. admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com.

BEACH MEETS WEST Jazz vocalist Kurt Elling performs at 7:30 p.m. Feb. 6 at UNF’s Robinson Theater, 1 UNF Dr., Southside, 620-2878, unf.edu/coas/music/calendar.

AMERICAN BEACH MUSEUM American Beach Community THE PIANO GUYS The Utah-based ensemble plays classically Center, 1600 Julia St., Fernandina Beach, 277-7960, tinged versions of pop hits at 8 p.m. Feb. 6 at The Florida nassaucountyfl.com/facilities. The Sands of Time: An American Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $35-$125.

Beach Story, celebrating the beach and the life and activism of ANGÈLE DUBEAU & LA PIETA Violinist Dubeau leads her MaVynee Betsch, “The Beach Lady” is on display. ensemble La Pietà in a concert of works by Philip Glass, BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY PARK 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Marjan Mozetich and Radiohead’s Jonny Greenwood at 7:30 Beach, 241-5657, beachesmuseum.org. The Art of Leigh p.m. Feb. 7 at Flagler College’s Lewis Auditorium, 14 Granada Murphy, featuring a collection of watercolors, through Feb. 8.

St., St. Augustine, 797-2800, $35, emmaconcerts.com.

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., PORGY AND BESS The Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra and 356-6857, cummer.org. The exhibit Rothko to Richter: Markan all-star cast perform Gershwin’s classic at 8 p.m. Feb. 7 at Making in Abstract Painting from the Collection of Preston T-U Center’s Jacoby Hall, $32-$72, 354-3578, jaxsymphony.org.

COMEDY

CALLS & WORKSHOPS

CLASSICAL, CHOIR & JAZZ

ART WALKS & MARKETS

MUSEUMS

FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37

A&E // ARTS & EVENTS H. Haskell, on display through April 22. 450 Years of French History in Florida, through Feb. 22. All Together: The Sculpture of Chaim Gross is displayed through Oct. 4. The exhibit British Watercolors runs through Nov. 29.

KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992. The exhibit A Collection of Works: Exhibition in Oils by Leilani Leo is on display through Feb. 27.

LIGHTNER MUSEUM 75 King St., St. Augustine, 824-2874, lightnermuseum.org. Thirty paintings by 19th-century artist Felix F. de Crano are shown through March 1.

MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 366-6911, mocajacksonville.com.

WHITE, featuring 11 20th-century and contemporary artists working with the color white, on display through April 26. Erica Mendoza: Visual Love Letters, through March. Project Atrium: Angela Strassheim, through March 1. John Hee Taek Chae,

ANNE KRAFT stars in Joan Didion’s one-woman play, THE YEAR OF MAGICAL THINKING, Feb. 8 at St. Augustine Art Association. featured artist in the sixth annual Barbara Ritzman Devereux Visiting Artist Workshop, is at a reception 6-8 p.m. Feb. 5; free; reservations at eventbrite.com. His work is on display in MOCA’s UNF Gallery through April 26.

MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank, 396-6674, themosh.org. The Water Education Festival is held 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Feb. 7; free. Odyssey’s SHIPWRECK! Pirates & Treasure, through March. Cosmic Concerts – Laser Mania 7 p.m., Wish You Were Here 8 p.m., Laser Vinyl 9 p.m., Led Zeppelin 10 p.m. – Feb. 6, $5.

GALLERIES

44 MONROE ART STUDIO & GALLERY 44 Monroe St., Downtown, 881-0209. The Art of Kyle Willis, through Feb. 7.

The opening reception for Look & Sea, featuring work by Dana Hood and Jerri Roszak, 5-9 p.m. Feb. 4.

ALEXANDER BREST GALLERY Jacksonville University, 2800 N. University Blvd., Arlington, 256-7371. Encumbered, works

by Karen Kurycki and Shelley Sloan Ellis, through Feb. 11.

ANASTASIA BOOKS 81C King St., St. Augustine, 824-8460.

Kenneth Barrett’s exhibit Time Frames is on display.

ARCHWAY GALLERY & FRAMING 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-2222. Vicki Lennon’s works show through February.

THE ART CENTER II 229 N. Hogan St., Downtown, 355-1757.

Shadows and Light is on display through March 9.

BUTTERFIELD GARAGE ART GALLERY 137 King St., St. Augustine, 825-4577. The opening reception for an exhibit of new works by painter Tanya Englehard and sculptor Bruce Carr is 5-9 p.m. Feb. 6. The exhibit is on display through March 3.

CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530, flagler.edu/crispellert. Re-Riding History: From the Southern Plains to Matanzas Bay, through February.

FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928. The Mermaid Show is on display through April 1.

MAIN STREET PARK 325 N. Main St., Downtown. Sculpture Walk Jacksonville, deformance artist Liz Gibson and musician Mal Jones are featured 5-9 p.m. Feb. 4.

PLUM GALLERY 10 Aviles St., St. Augustine, 825-0069. The opening reception for an exhibit of works by Gary Borse, Eileen Corse and Rosamond Parrish is 5-9 p.m. Feb. 6.

RAIN DOGS 1045 Park St., Riverside, 379-4969. The release party for the second issue of Clay Doran’s Grim Times comic kicks off at 8 p.m. Feb. 8.

RITZ THEATRE & MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 6325555, ritzjacksonville.com. Through Our Eyes 2015: Wouldn’t Take Nothing for My Journey (Artistic Revolution), featuring works of 20 local African-American artists, is on display through July.

SHAFFER GALLERY 35 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine, 8068858. Mary St. Germain’s works show through February.

SOUTH GALLERY FSCJ’s South Campus, 11901 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-2023. MetaVisual: The Graphic Art of Jim Harrison is on display through Feb. 17; an opening reception is 5-7:30 p.m. Feb. 10.

SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 201 N. Hogan St., Ste. 100, Downtown, 438-4358, southlightgallery.com. The event inspired by the riddle “What is this Ridiculous Obsession with Love?” features live music and free chair massages, 5-9 p.m.

Feb. 4. Sara Pedigo is the featured artist through March 4.

Picturing Italy II, works by UNF’s Department of Art & Design Study Abroad Program, is featured through February.

ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., 824-2310, staaa.org. An opening reception for figurative exhibit Figures

38 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015

and Faces is 5-9 p.m. Feb. 6; music by The Springfields. Jean Light Willis signs books. The exhibit runs through March 1.

THRASHER-HORNE CENTER FOR THE ARTS 283 College Dr., Orange Park, 276-6815, thcenter.org. The American Solider: From the Civil War to the War in Iraq, through Feb. 14.

UNIVERSITY OF NORTH FLORIDA GALLERY 1 UNF Drive, Southside, 620-2534. The exhibit Art + Design Student Juried Annual Exhibition is on display through Feb. 27.

EVENTS

PORCH PARTY Complimentary chocolate-dipped strawberries, cocktails, The Chris Thomas Band and a meet-and-greet with Courtney Lewis, Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra musical director, are featured 5-7 p.m. Feb. 4 at Sweet Pete’s, 440 N. Hogan St., Downtown, 376-7161.

TIM DORSEY BOOK-SIGNING Floridacentric author Dorsey reads and signs copies of his book Shark Skin Suite at 2 p.m.

Feb. 6 at St. Augustine Library, 1960 N. Ponce De Leon Blvd., 827-6940; 7 p.m. Feb. 6 at The BookMark, 220 First St., Neptune Beach, 241-9026 and 12:30 p.m. Feb. 7 at Bartram Trail Library, 60 Davis Pond Blvd., Fruit Cove, 827-6960.

ISLAM AND THE MEDIA Dr. Scott Alexander discusses “Islam & Muslims: Moving Beyond Media Sound Bites” at 6 p.m. Feb. 6 at WJCT Studio, 100 Festival Park Rd., Northbank, 353-7770.

SISTERS IN CRIME The Florida Sisters in Crime present Donald L. Knight, 10:30 a.m. Feb. 7 at Southeast Regional Library, 10599 Deerwood Park Blvd., Jacksonville; free for members, $10 for visitors, floridasistersincrime.com.

WHEEL AEROBICS The workout class is 8:50 a.m. Feb. 7 at Just Fitness 4U, 11262 Beach Blvd., Southside, 861-4606, abdominaltrainingwheels.com.

JACKSONVILLE INTERNATIONAL AUTO SHOW Noon-9 p.m.

Feb. 6, 10 a.m.-9 p.m. Feb. 7 and 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Feb. 8 at Prime Osborn Convention Center, 1000 Water St., Downtown, $10; $5 (ages 6-12), jaxautoshow.com.

ROAD TO WRESTLEMANIA Host Chris Jericho, Roman Reigns vs. Big Show, Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt, Erick Rowan vs.

Rusev with Lana, The Usos vs. The Miz and Damien Mizdow at 7:30 p.m. Feb. 7 at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., Downtown, $15-$100, 630-3900.

TRASH & TREASURE SALE The annual fundraiser is 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Feb. 7 at Ribault Garden Club, 705 Second Ave. N., Jax Beach, 223-3933, ribaultgardenclub.org.

NATURE HIKE A ranger leads a hike 2 p.m. Feb. 7 at Ribault Club, Ft. George Island Cultural State Park, 11241 Ft. George Rd., free, 251-2320, floridastateparks.org/littletalbotisland.

BLIZZARD BASH FUNDRAISER The Young Professionals Board of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Northeast Florida hosts its inaugural Big Blizzard Bash – food, games, activities, live music, arts & crafts, and tons of real snow! Kids should wear gloves and closed-toe shoes. Admission is free; wristbands for unlimited play are $10 – 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Feb. 7 at Morocco Shrine Auditorium, 3800 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Southside, 727-9797, bbbsnefl.org.

NATURE PHOTOGRAPHY A photographer leads a stroll on Bluff Shorelines Trail, 10 a.m. Feb. 7 at Bluffs Pavilion, Big Talbot Island State Park, 13030 Heckscher Dr., Jacksonville; free with $2 vehicle entrance fee, 251-2320, floridastateparks.org.

JACKSONVILLE ARMADA FC VS. PHILADELPHIA UNION Local soccer pros Armada FC battle the Union 5:30 p.m. Feb. 7 at EverBank Field, Downtown, $17.70, 633-6100.

LOCAL DOLL ARTIST MEET-AND-GREET Award-winning doll artist Cora Raiford signs copies of the 2015 spring issue of Art Doll Quarterly noon-4 p.m. Feb. 7 at Books-A-Million, 9400 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 15, Arlington, 805-0004.

CHARIOTS OF FUR RUN The 5K and one-mile fun run include Doga (yoga with your dog), exhibits, hot chocolate and runner’s buffet, raffle, awards and dog adoptions starting at 8:30 a.m.

Feb. 7 at SeaWalk Pavilion, Jax Beach, 5K registration is $25; $20 kids 14 and younger; fun run is $15; proceeds benefit St. Francis Animal Hospital, register at chariotsoffur5k.org.

RETR-O-RAMA The Pop Cultural Collectibles Show features celebrity panels with Lew Temple, Hammer Horror stars Veronica Carlson and Suzanna Leigh, Arch Hall Jr., a cosplay contest, sci-fi concert, vintage toys, comics and TV and film memorabilia, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Feb. 8 at Ramada Conference Center, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, $12 adult admission includes free admission for one child 12 and under; $5 each additional child. $20 preview (9-10 a.m.), jaxretrorama.com.

ALTON BROWN LIVE Celebrity chef Brown presents a show that blends comedy, food experimentation, a multimedia lecture and live music at 7 p.m. Feb. 8 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $39-$125.

ONEJAX INSTITUTE EVENT The panel “Changing the Story of Race in Jacksonville,” featuring Nina Waters, Community Foundation president, and Brenda Priestly Jackson and Linda Lanier, Project Breakthrough alumni, convenes at 7 p.m. Feb. 9 at University of North Florida’s University Center, Grand Banquet Hall, 620-1529, free but eticket required; go to webapps.unf.edu/eticket/ProjectBreakthrough.

JOB & RESOURCE FAIR The Main Library presents its Job & Resource Fair, featuring local job recruiters and career and résumé help, 9 a.m.-noon Feb. 10 at 303 N. Laura St., Downtown, 630-2665, jaxpubliclibrary.org.

EISENHOWER LECTURE Award-winning journalist Evan Thomas discusses the strategies of Dwight D. Eisenhower at 7 p.m. Feb. 10 at Flagler College’s Lewis Auditorium, 14 Granada St., St. Augustine, 826-8572, flagler.edu/forum.

BIKER NIGHT Motorcycles and live music by Spanky, 6-10 p.m. Feb. 12 at Jacksonville Landing, Downtown, 353-1188.

AMELIA RIVER CRUISES Tours of Cumberland Island and Beach Creek are Mon.-Sat. from Amelia River Cruises, 1 N. Front St., Fernandina Beach, 261-9972; ameliarivercruises.com.

A&E // ARTS

MILKY WAY Current MOCA exhibit features prominent

international artists working with a uniform color

I

n 1967, German-Canadian Rachel Whiteread, Surface, mathematician and Plaster and laminated wood, physicist Gunter Wyszecki 39˝×44-1/8˝×27-3/4˝, 2005 wrote in his book Color Science that the human eye could distinguish as many as 10 million colors. With so many choices on the artist’s palette, why would anyone choose to work solely in white?

What do you think of when someone says “white”? Milk is white, snow is white, even the Taj Mahal is white. It’s the color most often associated with innocence, purity, honesty and cleanliness. It’s also the title of the latest selfcurated exhibition, on display through April 26 at the Museum of Contemporary Art Jacksonville.

The staff at MOCA drew inspiration largely from Kazimir Malevich’s 1918 painting White on White, an abstract, geometric, oil-oncanvas piece utilizing textural brushstrokes and subtle Street about a year-and-a-half ago in an variations of white. A Russian painter and art exhibition called Slow. The video has since theoretician, Malevich was the originator of been highly acclaimed and was purchased by the avant-garde Suprematism movement.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York Today, White on White, on display at the City. It also helped create a solid relationship Museum of Modern Art in New York City, is with MOCA. prompting dialogue in Northeast Florida.

“There are very few works in white that “The story of white in contemporary art he’s made,” Polednik says of Nares. “It’s a new is vast,” explains MOCA director and chief body of work that he started about a year ago curator Marcelle Polednik. “We were interested and, based on the strength of his experience in selecting a few artists — a few chapters with MOCA during that Slow exhibition, he — from a much larger conversation that we generously offered to create a new work for felt were compelling on their own, but also the museum. So that was really exciting from compelling in conversation with one another.” our point of view.”

The result is WHITE, which took about According to press material, Nares’ piece four years to put together. It features a varied White Out was created using a “road-marking group of international artists working in a paint machine, which he calls ‘The Little wide array of media.

Dragon,’ to lay down strips of paint onto American artist expanses of canvas and Tara Donovan creates sprinkles glass beads large-scale installations onto them.” Nares will WHITE and sculptures from visit the museum on The exhibit is on display through April 26 everyday objects. For March 5 to discuss Museum of Contemporary Art her piece Haze, which his work and career.

Jacksonville, 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, is featured in this Admission to the event mocajacksonville.com exhibition, Donovan is free, and it’s open to used translucent plastic the public. drinking straws to fashion an organic wave“Part of our goal at MOCA is, with like surface. In Surface, British sculptor Rachel each project, to really enrich the landscape Whiteread configured plaster and laminated surrounding contemporary art — not just for wood for her table structure. our audience here in Jacksonville, but also “We looked at artists who have made an to add to the national conversation about indelible mark on contemporary art and contemporary art,” Polednik says. have done so using the color white,” says With the color white as inspiration, this Polednik. “These are all very highly regarded, display has a different atmosphere than those internationally renowned figures.” of the museum’s previous shows.

Four of the artists highlighted in WHITE “Part of our goal over the given year is to have shown at MOCA Jacksonville before, create a balance of exhibitions with different including Robert Rauschenberg and Jules visual and experiential qualities within our Olitski (works by both are in the museum’s installation space,” says Polednik. “WHITE is a permanent collection) and Brazilian artistmuch more cerebral project to a certain extent photographer Vik Muniz, who showed in the and much more architectonically driven. The 2011 exhibition Shared Vision: The Sondra galleries are sparse, the installation is very Gilman and Celso Gonzalez-Falla Collection theatrical and so the mood in the museum has of Photography. changed as a result.”

The fourth is British painter and filmmaker Kara Pound James Nares, who showed the video piece mail@folioweekly.com FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39

Brandie Barger, bartender at Avondale’s Mojo No. 4, makes an Odd Couple with muddled orange and maraschino cherry, Buffalo Trace, Mojo single barrel bourbon, Hendricks gin and rhubarb bitters.

Photo: Dennis Ho

DINING DIRECTORY AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH, YULEE

29 SOUTH EATS, 29 S. Third St., 277-7919, 29south restaurant.com. F In historic downtown, Chef Scotty Schwartz serves traditional regional cuisine with a modern twist. $$ L Tue.-Sat.; D Mon.-Sat.; R Sun. BARBERITOS, 1519 Sadler Rd., 277-2505. 463867 S.R. 200, Ste. 5, Yulee, 321-2240, barberitos.com. Southwestern fare; burritos, tacos, quesadillas, salsa. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality, upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB K L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com.

F Family-owned spot in a historic building. Veggie burgers, seafood, made-from-scratch desserts. Dine in or on oak-shaded patio. Karibrew Pub next door. $$ FB K TO R, Sun.; L D Daily CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY CO., 1014 Atlantic Ave., 491-4663, chezlezanbakery.com. Fresh European-style breads, pastries: croissants, muffins, cakes, pies. $ TO B R L Daily CIAO ITALIAN BISTRO, 302 Centre St., 206-4311, ciaobistroluca.com. Owners Luka and Kim Misciasci offer fine dining: veal piccata, rigatoni Bolognese, antipasto. Specialties: chicken Ciao, homemade meat lasagna. $ L Fri., Sat.; D Nightly DAVID’S Restaurant & Lounge, 802 Ash St., 310-6049, ameliaislanddavids.com. Historic district fine dining.

Fresh seafood, prime aged meats, rack of lamb. $$$$ FB D Wed.-Mon. DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 474313 E. S.R. 200, 491-3469.

450077 S.R. 200, Callahan, 879-0993. BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA.

ELIZABETH POINTE LODGE, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. BOJ winner. Award-winning B&B. Seaside dining, inside or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily.

Homestyle soups, sandwiches, desserts. $$$ BW B L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianes cafe.com. F In renovated 1887 shotgun house. Jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, vegan/vegetarian items. Dine in or on porch. $$ FB K B L D Daily LULU’S at Thompson House, 11 S. 7th St., 432-8394, lulus amelia.com. F Po’boys, salads, local seafood, local shrimp. Reservations. $$$ BW K TO R Sun.; L D Tue.-Sat. MARCHÉ BURETTE, 6800 First Coast Hwy., 491-4834, omnihotels.com. Old-fashioned gourmet food market and deli, in the Spa & Shops, Omni Amelia Island Plantation. Continental breakfast; lunch features flatbreads. $$$ BW K TO L D Daily MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriver pizza.net. F BOJ winner. Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, by the pie or the slice. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE MUSTARD SEED CAFE, 833 TJ Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juice, herbal tea. $$ TO B L Mon.-Sat. THE PECAN ROLL BAKERY, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815, thepecanrollbakery.com. The bakery, near historic district, offers sweet and savory pastries, cookies, cakes, bagels and breads, all made from scratch. $ K TO B L Wed.-Sun. PLAE, 80 Amelia Village Cir., 277-2132, plaefl.net. Bite Club. Bistro-style venue serves whole fried fish, duck breast. Outside. $$$ FB L Tue.-Sat.; D Nightly

40 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015

THE SALTY PELICAN Bar & Grill, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F BOJ winner. 2nd-story outdoor bar. Owners T.J. and Al offer local seafood, Mayport shrimp, fish tacos, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F Oceanfront; handmade crab cakes, fresh seafood, fried pickles. Outdoor dining, open-air 2nd floor, balcony. $$ FB K L D Daily TASTY’S Fresh Burgers & Fries, 710 Centre St., 321-0409, tastysamelia.com. Historic district. Freshest meats, hand-cut fries, homemade sauces, hand-spun shakes. $ BW K L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. 8th St., 261-6310. F BOJ. In an old gas station; blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L Mon.-Sat. THE VERANDAH, 6800 First Coast Hwy., 321-5050, omni hotels.com. Extensive menu of fresh local seafood and steaks; signature entrée is Fernandina shrimp. Many herbs and spices are from onsite garden. $$$ FB K D Nightly

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 9119 Merrill Rd., 745-9300. BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. LA NOPALERA, 8818 Atlantic, 720-0106. BOJ winner.

SEE MANDARIN.

LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1301 Monument, 724-5802. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

THE SHEIK DELI, 9720 Atlantic Blvd., 721-2660. Familyowned-and-operated for 40+ years, with a full breakfast (pitas to country plates) and a lunch menu. $ TO B L D Mon.-Sat.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

BAGEL LOVE, 4114 Herschel St., Ste. 121, 634-7253, bagellovejax.com. BOJ winner. Locally-owned-and-operated.

Northern style bagels, sandwiches, wraps, bakery. Freshsqueezed orange juice, lemonade; coffee, tea. $ K TO B L Daily THE CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966, the casbahcafe.com. F BOJ winner. Middle Eastern/ Mediterranean fare. Patio, hookah lounge, bellydancers. $$ BW L D Daily CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATE, 3543 St. Johns Ave., 829-5790.

F In Green Man Gourmet. SEE PONTE VEDRA. $$ TO FLORIDA CREAMERY, 3566 St. Johns Ave., 619-5386.

Premium ice cream, waffle cones, milkshakes, sundaes and Nathan’s grilled hot dogs, served in a Florida-centric décor.

Low-fat and sugar-free choices. $ K TO L D Daily THE FOX Restaurant, 3580 St. Johns Ave., 387-2669. F Owners Ian & Mary Chase offer fresh diner fare: burgers, meatloaf, fried green tomatoes, desserts. Breakfast all day.

Local landmark for 50+ years. $$ BW K L D Daily HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631,

To get listed, call your account manager or Sam Taylor at 904.260.9770 ext. 111 or staylor@folioweekly.com.

DINING DIRECTORY KEY

Average Entrée Cost $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted free FW Bite Club tasting.

To join, go to fwbiteclub.com.

2014 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot

harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned and operated for 20+ years, the American pub serves 1/2-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA, 4530 St. Johns, 388-8828. F SEE MANDARIN. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOJO NO. 4 Urban BBQ & Whiskey Bar, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670. F BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PINEGROVE Market & Deli, 1511 Pine Grove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F BOJ winner. 40+ years. Burgers, Cuban sandwiches, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher cuts USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. $ BW TO B L D Mon.-Sat. PULP, 3645 St. Johns Ave., pulpaddiction.com. SEE SAN MARCO. RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurant orsay.com. BOJ winner. French/Southern bistro; emphasis on locally grown organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops. Snail of Approval. $$$ FB K R, Sun.; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simply saras.net. F Down-home fare, from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Mon.-Sat., B Sat.

BAYMEADOWS

AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 7825 Baymeadows Way, 733-4040. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F SEE BEACHES.

BROADWAY Ristorante & Pizzeria, 10920 Baymeadows Rd. E., 519-8000, broadwayfl.com. F Family-owned-andoperated Italian spot. Calzones, wings, brick-oven-baked pizza, subs. $$ BW K TO L D Daily INDIA’S Restaurant, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajax.com. F BOJ winner. Authentic Indian cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetable dishes, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L Mon.-Sat.; D Nightly LA NOPALERA, 8206 Philips Hwy., 732-9433. F BOJ winner. SEE MANDARIN. LARRY’S SUBS, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., 737-7740. 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791. SEE MANDARIN. PIZZA PALACE Restaurant & Pizzeria, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., 527-8649, pizzapalacejax.com. F Casual, familyowned; homestyle faves: spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, lasagna. Outside dining. $$ BW K TO L D Daily SNEAKERS Sports Grille, 8133 Point Meadows Dr., 519-0509. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. TEQUILAS Mexican Restaurant, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 101, 363-1365. Salsa, guacamole, chips, beans, rice and meat dishes made fresh daily. $$ FB L D Mon.-Sat. ZESTY INDIA, 8358 Point Meadows Dr., 329-3676, zesty india.com. Asian/European; tandoori lamb chops, rosemary tikka. Vegetarian cooked separately. $ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun.

BEACHES

(Locations are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002, alspizza.com. F New York-style, gourmet pizzas, baked dishes. All-day happy hour Mon.-Thur. $ FB K TO L D Daily ANGIE’S SUBS, 1436 Beach Blvd., 246-2519. ANGIE’S

DINING DIRECTORY GROM, 204 Third Ave. S., 246-7823. BOJ winner. Subs made with fresh ingredients for more than 25 years. One word: Peruvian. Huge salads, blue-ribbon iced tea. $ BW TO L D Daily BOLD BEAN Coffee Roasters, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201.

BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. BUDDHA THAI BISTRO, 301 10th Ave. N., 712-4444, buddhathaibistro.com. The proprietors are from Thailand; every dish is made with fresh ingredients. $$ FB TO L D Daily BURRITO GALLERY Express, 1333 Third St. N., 242-8226.

BOJ winner. SEE DOWNTOWN. CANTINA MAYA Sports Bar & Grille, 1021 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 247-3227. Popular spot serves margaritas, Latin food, burgers. Sports on TVs. $$ FB K L D Tue.-Sun. CASA MARIA, 2429 S. Third St., 372-9000, casamariajax. com. F Family-owned-and-operated place offers authentic Mexican fare: fajitas and seafood dishes, hot sauces made inhouse. The specialty is tacos de asada. $ FB K L D Daily CULHANE’S Irish Pub, 967 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 249-9595, culhanesirishpub.com. Bite Club. Upscale pub/restaurant owned and run by sisters from County Limerick. Shepherd’s pie, corned beef; gastropub fare. $$ FB K R Sat. & Sun.; L Fri.-Sun.; D Tue.-Sun. ESPETO BRAZILIAN STEAKHOUSE, 1396 Beach Blvd., 388-4884, espetosteakhouse.com. Just relocated, serving beef, pork, lamb, chicken and sausage, and a full menu and bar fare, craft cocktails, Brazilian beers. $$ FB D Daily EUROPEAN STREET, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001. BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. FLYING IGUANA Taqueria & Tequila Bar, 207 Atlantic Blvd., N.B., 853-5680, flyingiguana.com. F Latin American fusion, Southwest taste: tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana sandwiches. 100+ tequilas. $ FB L D Daily HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815, harmoniousmonks.net. F SEE MANDARIN. LA NOPALERA, 1222 Third St. S., 372-4495. F BOJ winner. SEE MANDARIN. LARRY’S SUBS, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE O.PARK. LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., N.B., 249-2922, lilliescoffeebar.com. F Locally roasted coffee, eggs, bagels, flatbreads, sandwiches, desserts. Dine indoors or out, patio and courtyard. $$ BW TO B L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com. F Bite Club.

BOJ winner. Hoagies, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers. Nonstop happy hour. $ FB K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1534 Third St. N., 853-6817. BOJ winner.

SEE SAN MARCO.

MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., N.B., 249-5573, mezzarestaurantandbar.com. F Near-the-ocean eatery, 20+ years. Casual bistro fare: gourmet wood-fired pizzas, nightly specials. Dine inside or on the patio. Valet parking. $$$ FB K D Mon.-Sat. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ Pit, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636, mojobbq.com. F BOJ winner. Pulled pork, Carolina-style barbecue, Delta fried catfish, all the sides. $$ FB K TO L D Daily M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 241-2599, mshackburgers.com. F BOJ winner. David and Matthew Medure flip burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes. Dine in or out. $$ BW L D Daily NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic, Ste. 6, A.B., 372-4105, nbbistro.com. Bite Club. Chef-driven kitchen; hand-cut steaks, fresh local seafood, tapas menu. HH. $$$ FB K R Sun.; L D Daily OCEAN 60, Wine Bar, Martini Room, 60 Ocean Blvd., A.B., 247-0060, ocean60.com. BOJ winner. Continental cuisine, fresh seafood, dinner specials and a seasonal menu in a formal dining room or casual Martini Room. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. POE’S TAVERN, 363 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 241-7637.

American gastropub, 50+ beers, gourmet hamburgers, ground in-house, cooked to order; hand-cut French fries, fish tacos, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ FB K L D Daily RAGTIME TAVERN & Seafood Grill, 207 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F For 30+ years, the iconic seafood place has scored many awards in our BOJ readers poll. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily happy hour. $$ FB L D Daily SALT LIFE Food Shack, 1018 Third St. N., 372-4456, saltlife foodshack.com. BOJ winner. Specialty items: signature tuna poke bowl, fresh rolled sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp, in a modern open-air space. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SLIDERS Seafood Grille & Oyster Bar, 218 First St., N.B., 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille.com. Beach-casual.

Faves: Fresh fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, ice cream sandwiches. $$ FB K L Sat. & Sun.; D Nightly SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE, 111 Beach Blvd., 482-1000, sneakerssportsgrille.com. BOJ winner. More than 20 beers on tap, TV screens, cheerleaders serving the food.

Happy hour Mon.-Fri. $ FB K L D Daily TACOLU BAJA MEXICANA, 1712 Beach Blvd., 249-8226, tacolu.com. BOJ winner. Fresh, Baja-style fare with a focus on fish tacos, tequila (more than 135 kinds) and mezcal. Bangin’ shrimp, carne asada, carnitas, daily fresh fish selections. Made-fresh-daily guacamole. $$ FB K R Sat. & Sun.; L D Tue.-Fri.

DOWNTOWN

AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 21 W. Church St., 665-7324, akelsdeli.com. F New York-style deli offers freshly made subs (3 Wise Guys, Champ), burgers, gyros, breakfast bowls, ranchero wrap, vegetarian dishes. $ K TO B L Mon.-Fri. BURRITO Gallery & Bar, 21 E. Adams, 598-2922, burritogal lery.com. BOJ winner. Southwestern burritos, ginger teriyaki

tofu, beef barbacoa, wraps, tacos. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282. F Chef Sam Hamidi has been serving genuine Italian fare for 35+ years: veal, seafood, gourmet pizza. The homemade salad dressing is a specialty. $ BW K L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. CASA MARIA, 12961 N. Main St., Ste. 104, 757-6411. F SEE BEACHES.

CHOMP CHOMP, 106 E. Adams St., 762-4667. F Chefinspired street food: panko-crusted chicken, burgers, chinois tacos, bahn mi and barbecue. $ L Tue.-Sat.; D Thur.-Sat. FIONN MacCOOL’s Irish Pub & Restaurant, The Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1547, fionnmacs.com. Casual dining with an uptown Irish atmosphere, serving fish and chips, Guinness lamb stew and black-and-tan brownies. $$ FB K L D Daily OLIO MARKET, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket. com. From-scratch soups, sandwiches. Home to duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L Mon.-Fri.

FLEMING ISLAND

GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 1915 East-West Pkwy., 541-0009. F BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. LA NOPALERA, 1571 C.R. 220, 215-2223. F BOJ winner.

SEE MANDARIN.

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. F BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteys fishcamp.com. F Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar.

Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly YOUR PIE, 1545 C.R. 220, Ste. 125, 379-9771, yourpie. com. Owner Mike Sims’ concept: Choose from 3 doughs, 9 sauces, 7 cheeses, 40+ toppings. 5 minutes in a brick oven and ta-da: It’s your pie. Subs, sandwiches, gelato. $$ BW K TO L D Daily

INTRACOASTAL WEST

AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F SEE BEACHES.

DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 14286 Beach Blvd., 223-0115. F BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 14333 Beach Blvd., Ste. 39, 992-1666. F BOJ winner. Tamales, fajitas, pork tacos. Some La Nops have a full bar. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE ORANGE PARK. TIME OUT SPORTS GRILL, 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 223-6999, timeoutsportsgrill.com. F Locally-ownedand-operated. Hand-tossed pizzas, wings, wraps. Daily drink specials, HDTVs, pool tables. Late-nite menu. $$ FB L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly

JULINGTON CREEK

DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 525 S.R. 16, Ste. 101, 825-4540.

BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. PIZZA PALACE, 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, 230-2171. F SEE BAYMEADOWS.

MANDARIN

AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 12926 Gran Bay Pkwy. W., 880-2008. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F SEE BEACHES. ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199.

F Dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant). Greek beers. $$ BW L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. BROOKLYN PIZZA, 11406 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 288-9211.

13820 St. Augustine Rd., 880-0020. Brooklyn Special.

Calzones, white pizza, homestyle lasagna. $$ BW TO L D Daily THE COFFEE BARD, 9735 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 13, 260-0810, thecoffeebard.com. New world coffeehouse has coffees, breakfast, drinks. $$ TO B L D Tue.-Sun. DICK’S WINGS, 10391 Old St. Augustine, 880-7087. F BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. GIGI’S RESTAURANT, 3130 Hartley Rd., 694-4300, jaxramada.com. In Ramada. Prime rib, crab leg buffet Fri. & Sat., blue-jean brunch Sun., daily breakfast, lunch and dinner buffets. $$$ FB B R L D Daily GILMON’S BAKERY, 11362 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 13, 288-8128, gilmonsbakery.com. Custom cakes, cupcakes, gingerbread men, pies, cookies, coffee, tea. $$ B L Tue.-Sat. HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 30, 880-3040, harmoniousmonks.net. F American steakhouse: Angus steaks, burgers, ribs, wraps. $$ FB K L D Mon.-Sat. KAZU Japanese Restaurant, 9965 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 35, 683-9903, kazujapaneserestaurant.com. BOJ winner. Wide variety of soups, dumplings, appetizers, salads, bento boxes, sushi, entrées, maki handrolls, sashimi. $$ BW TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA, 11700 San Jose Blvd., 288-0175. F BOJ winner. Tamales, fajitas, pork tacos. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S SUBS, 11365 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 674-2945.

F SEE ORANGE PARK. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. Natural, organic soups, sandwiches, wraps, baked goods, prepared foods, juices, smoothies. Juice, smoothie and coffee bar. All-natural, organic beers, wines. Indoor, outdoor dining. $ BW TO K B L D Daily THE RED ELEPHANT PIZZA & GRILL, 10131 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 12, 683-3773, redelephantpizza.com. F Casual, family-friendly eatery serves steaks, seafood,

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DINING DIRECTORY

MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434, mossfire. com. F Southwestern fish tacos, enchiladas. Happy hour Mon.-Sat. upstairs lounge, all day Sun. $$ FB K L D Daily O’BROTHERS IRISH PUB, 1521 Margaret St., 854-9300, obrothersirishpub.com. F Traditional shepherd’s pie with Stilton crust, Guinness mac-n-cheese, fish-n-chips. Patio dining. $$ FB K TO L D Daily THE SHEIK, 7361 103rd St., 778-4805. 5172 Normandy Blvd., 786-7641. SEE ARLINGTON. SUN-RAY CINEMA, 1028 Park St., 359-0049. F Beer (Bold City, Intuition), wine, pizza, hot dogs, hummus, sandwiches, popcorn, nachos, brownies. $$ BW Daily SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside Ave., Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushicafejacksonville.com. Sushi variety: Monster Roll, Jimmy Smith Roll; faves Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll. Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. Indoor or patio. $$ BW L D Daily

chicken grill specials. Five topping selections. Salads, sandwiches, pizza. Gluten-free friendly. $ FB K L D Daily STEAMIN, 9703 San Jose Blvd., 493-2020, eatsteamin. com. Classic diner serves steam burgers, fat dogs and chili, 50+ craft beers. $ FB TO B Sat.-Sun.; L D Daily

ORANGE PARK

ARON’S PIZZA, 650 Park Ave., 269-1007, aronspizza. com. F Family-owned restaurant has eggplant dishes, manicotti, New York-style pizzas. $$ BW K TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 1540 Wells Rd., 269-2122. BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Road, 272-5959, hilltop-club.com.

Southern-style fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. $$$ FB D Tue.-Sat. LA NOPALERA, 9734 Crosshill Blvd., 908-4250. 2024 Kingsley Ave., 276-2776. F BOJ winner. SEE MANDARIN. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553.

1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove, 284-7789, larryssubs. com. F For 30+ years, they pile ’em high and serve ’em fast.

Hot/cold subs, soups, salads. $ K TO B L D Daily POMPEII COAL-FIRED PIZZA, 2134 Park Ave., 264-6116.

Family-owned-and-operated, offering pizzas and wings made in coal-fired ovens. Espresso, cappuccino. $ BW TO L D Daily THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611, roadhouseonline.net. F For 35-plus years, Roadhouse has been offering wings, sandwiches, burgers, quesadillas; 75+ imported beers. $ FB L D Daily THE SHEIK, 1994 Kingsley Ave., 276-2677. SEE ARLINGTON.

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F SEE BEACHES. AVILES, 32 Avenida Menendez, 829-2277 F Hilton Bayfront.

Progressive European menu; made-to-order pasta night, wine dinners, chophouse nights, breakfast buffet. Sun. champagne brunch bottomless mimosas. $$$ FB K B L D Daily CARMELO’S Marketplace & Pizzeria, 146 King St., 494-6658, carmelosmarketplace.com. F NY-style gourmet brick-oven-baked pizza, fresh rolls, Boar’s Head meats, cheeses, garlic herb wings. Outdoor dining, Wi-Fi. $$ BW TO L D Daily CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATE, 6 Granada St., 829-5790. In The Market. Wine and chocolate pairings, soft-serve ice cream, coffee bar, fresh fruit ice pops, cookies. $$ TO THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655, thefloridian staug.com. Updated Southern fare; fresh ingredients.

BITE-SIZED

RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE

13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies. com. BOJ winner. Intimate bistro serves authentic Mediterranean peasant cuisine updated for American tastes, specializing in tapas, blackened octopus, risotto of the day, coconut mango curry chicken. $$ BW L D Tue.-Sat. AKEL’S DELI, 245 Riverside Ave., 791-3336. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F SEE BEACHES.

BLACK SHEEP RESTAURANT, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, blacksheep5points.com. New American fare has a Southern twist, made with locally sourced ingredients.

Rooftop bar. $$$ FB R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 869 Stockton St., Stes.

1 & 2, 855-1181. BOJ winner. F Small-batch, artisanal coffee roasting. Organic, fair trade. $ BW TO B L Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412. Made-fromscratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free and vegetarian options. $ BW L D Daily.

DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 5972 San Juan Ave., 693-9258.

BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. EDGEWOOD BAKERY, 1012 S. Edgewood Ave., 389-8054, edgewoodbakery.com. BOJ winner. 66+ years, full-service bakery. Fresh breakfast, pastries, petit fours, pies, cakes.

Espresso, sandwiches, smoothies. $$ K TO B L Tue.-Sat. EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 2753 Park St., 384-9999, europeanstreet.com. BOJ winner. 130+ imported beers, 20 on tap. NYC-style classic Reuben, sandwiches. Outside seating at some EStreets. $ BW K L D Daily GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. BOJ winner. F Juice bar; certified organic fruits, vegetables. 500+ craft/import beers, 250 wines, organic produce, humanely raised meats, deli, raw items, vegan, vitamins, herbs. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. BOJ winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls. $ BW TO L D Daily JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILLE, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055.

This casual spot offers sandwiches, classic salads, homefries. One word: Reuben. $ TO B L Daily KNEAD BAKESHOP, 1173 Edgewood Ave. S. Locally-owned, family-run bake shop; made-from-scratch pastries, artisan breads, pies, specialty sandwiches, soups. $ TO B L Tue.-Sun. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1509 Margaret, 674-2794. 7895 Normandy, 781-7600. 8102 Blanding, 779-1933. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., Ortega, 999-4600.

F BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MONROE’S Smokehouse BAR-B-Q, 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551, monroessmokehousebbq.com. Wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey, ribs. Homestyle sides: beans, baked beans, mac-n-cheese, collards. $$ K TO L Mon.-Sat.; D Fri. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442.

F BOJ winner. SEE AMELIA ISLAND.

42 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015

Photos by Caron Streibich

PONTE VEDRA, NW ST. JOHNS

AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A N., 543-1494. F SEE BEACHES. CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATE, 145 Hilden Rd., Ste. 122, 829-5790, claudeschocolate.com. Hand-crafted premium Belgian chocolate, fruits, nuts, spices. Cookies, popsicles. $$ TO DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 100 Marketside Ave., 829-8134, dickswingsandgrill.com. F BOJ winner. NASCAR-themed; 365 kinds of wings, 1/2-lb. burgers, ribs. $ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 830 A1A N., 273-3993. F SEE O.P. PUSSER’S BAR & GRILLE, 816 A1A N., Ste. 100, 280-7766, pussersusa.com. BOJ winner. Bite Club. Innovative Caribbean cuisine features regional faves: Jamaican grilled pork ribs, Trinidad smoked duck, lobster macaroni & cheese dinner. Tropical drinks. $$ FB K TO L D Daily RESTAURANT MEDURE, 818 A1A N., 543-3797, restaurant medure.us. Chef David Medure offers global flavors. Small plates, creative drinks, happy hour. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat.

A NIGHT BITE AT THE MARKET SIZED When the sun goes down over Hemming Plaza, the Jaxsons Night Market revs up Disclosure: The Jaxsons Night Market was founded and is run by the writer’s fiancé, Mike Field, who will be turning the market over to Friends of Hemming Park in April.

Fusion Food Truck’s banana curry is up first — a perfectly savory and sweet dish served atop rice. Next up: shrimp spring rolls from Vietnamese cuisine truck Tado Street.

Don’t forget the pulled-pork sliders with chili lime sauce, mac ’n’ cheese and homemade s the sun starts to set, Downtown’s pickles from the Smoke It Up Barbecue truck.

Hemming Park transforms from blank And Humble Pie’s crisp, cooked-onsite, woodcanvas to a bustling artisan food market fired pizza, complete with blue cheese, pear, featuring dozens of local vendors. There’s walnuts and honey drizzle, is a must. everything from live music, fashion trucks Black Hog Farm, out of East Palatka, offers (like food trucks but with clothes; who knew?) an assortment of fresh seasonal produce; I and fresh produce to spice mixes, cheese snag a few cucumbers and a bundle of mixed curds, all-natural soaps and award-winning greens. From Murray Hill’s Community small-batch granola.

Loaves, I score a hearty loaf of rosemary garlic The every-third-Thursday market, which relocated to Hemming from a smaller, grassy sourdough, and from Southside’s Liberty lot at the corner of Adams Bakery, two chocolate chip and Laura streets, has cookies. Avondale eatery spread its wings and Orsay’s pastry chef Michael JAXSONS NIGHT MARKET morphed into a larger, Bump is nearby, sampling Hemming Park, Laura & Duval unique foodie affair. his latest ice cream streets, Downtown, third Thur.

The beer enthusiast creations, available by the of every month in me quickly detours scoop or pint. facebook.com/jaxsonsnightmarket to Intuition Ale Works’ Those of you who are tent for a cold can of my ever-curious can check favorite hoppy local brew, I-10 IPA. out cooking demonstrations featuring area As I peruse the other booths, my stomach chefs like Scotty Schwartz of Fernandina’s 29 squeals with delight: Pistachio macarons?

South, who whipped up a spicy concoction in Check. Local honey? Check. Freshly baked his high-powered Vitamix blender and then organic sourdough bread loaves? Check. handed out samples.

Handheld cherry-lime pies with buttery Don’t miss the next market, starting at 5:30 crust? Win. p.m. on Feb. 19. Bring your appetite — and The aroma wafting from a nearby row some reusable bags to fill with local goodies. of food trucks is enticing. The options are seemingly endless: Thai, Vietnamese, Korean, Caron Streibich Cuban. There’s also an impressive selection of biteclub@folioweekly.com vegan options. facebook.com/folioweeklybitesized

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FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 43

DINING DIRECTORY A WEEKLY Q&A WITH GRILL ME! PEOPLE IN THE FOOD BIZ

NAME: Mazen Mouded RESTAURANT: Mezze Bar & Grill, 2016 Hendrciks Ave., San Marco BIRTHPLACE: Damascus, Syria

YEARS IN THE BIZ: 8

BEST CUISINE STYLE: Grilling GO-TO INGREDIENTS: Turmeric and cumin IDEAL MEAL: A fresh tabouli salad and chicken kabobs WILL NOT CROSS MY LIPS: Seafood CELEBRITY SIGHTING: Ghosts CULINARY TREAT: I have a sweet tooth: bakalava!

Vegetarian, gluten-free. Fried green tomato bruschetta, grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D Wed.-Mon. GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F A local mainstay for 25+ years, Gypsy Cab’s menu changes twice daily. Signature dish: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. Sun. brunch. $$ FB R Sun.; L D Daily THE ICE PLANT BAR, 110 Riberia St., 829-6553, iceplant bar.com. Farm-to-table, locally sourced fare, hand-crafted drinks, house-made bitters, syrups. $$$ FB TO D Nightly MELLOW MUSHROOM, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040.

F Bite Club. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova, 342-5264. F BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PACIFIC ASIAN BISTRO, 159 Palencia Village Dr., Ste. 111, 808-1818, pacificasianbistro.com. F Chef Mas Lui creates 30+ sushi rolls; fresh sea scallops, Hawaiian-style poke tuna salad. Sake. $$-$$$ BW L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 321 A1A Beach Blvd., 217-3256, saltlifefoodshack.com. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. TEMPO, 16 Cathedral Place, 547-0240. Latin American fusion wine bar and restaurant offers traditional American fare with a Latin flair; sandwiches, too. $$ BW L D Tue.-Sun.

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER

BENTO CAFE Asian Kitchen & Sushi, 4860 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1, 564-9494, bentocafesushi.com. Pan-Asian, wok stir-fry, fire-grilled, sushi bar. $$ K FB TO L D Daily MOXIE KITCHEN+COCKTAILS, 4972 Big Island Dr., 998-9744, moxiefl.com. BOJ winner. Chef Tom Gray does contemporary American cuisine – seafood, steaks, pork, burgers – locally sourced when possible. $$$ FB K L Mon.-Fri.; D Nightly M SHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000, mshackburgers.com. F BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr., 900-7730, ovinte. com. European-style dining with influences from Italy, Spain and the Mediterranean. Choose small plates, entréesized portions or selections from the cheese a charcuterie menu. $$$ BW TO R D Daily

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

ALLURE THAI & SUSHI, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190, basilthaijax.com. F Authentic dishes: Pad Thai, curries, sashimi, fresh sushi, daily specials. $$ FB L D Mon.-Sat. BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox. com. Mediterranean and French inspired cuisine includes steak frites, oak-fired pizza and a new raw bar with seasonal selections. $$$ FB TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS, 1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110. BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusionsushijax.com. F Upscale sushi spot serves a variety of fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ K L D Daily THE GROTTO Wine & Tapas Bar, 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726. F Artisanal cheese plates, empanadas, bruschetta, cheesecake. 60+ wines by the glass. $$$ BW Tue.-Sun. HAMBURGER MARY’S Bar & Grille, 3333 Beach Blvd., Ste. 1, 551-2048, hamburgermarys.com. Wings, sammies, nachos, entrées, specialty drinks, burgers. $$ K TO FB L D Daily LA NOPALERA, 1631 Hendricks, 399-1768. F BOJ winner. SEE MANDARIN. MEZZE BAR & GRILL, 2016 Hendricks Ave., 683-0693, mezzejax.com. Classic cocktails, fresh basil martinis, 35 draft beers, local/craft brews, Mediterranean cuisine. Hookah patio. Happy hour. $$ FB D Daily MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922, matthews restaurant.com. Chef Matthew Medure’s flagship. Fine dining, artfully presented cuisine, small plates, martini/ wine lists. Happy hour Mon.-Fri. Reservations. $$$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metrodiner.com. F BOJ winner. Original upscale diner.

Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. $$ B R L Daily MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200.

F BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PIZZA PALACE, 1959 San Marco, 399-8815. F SEE BAYMEADOWS.

PULP, 1962 San Marco Blvd., 396-9222, pulpaddiction. com. The juice bar offers fresh juices, frozen yogurt, teas, coffees, 30 kinds of smoothies. $ TO B L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco, 398-3005, tavernasanmarco.

44 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015

com. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; local produce, meats. Craft beers, handcrafted cocktails. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE, TINSELTOWN

360° GRILLE, Latitude 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555, latitude360.com. F Popular place serves seafood, steaks, burgers, chicken, sandwiches, pizza. Patio, movie theater. $$ FB TO L D Daily AKEL’S, 7077 Bonneval Rd., 332-8700. F SEE DOWNTOWN. ALHAMBRA THEATRE & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. USA’s longest-running dinner theater; Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus. Reservations. $$ FB D Tue.-Sun. BARBERITOS, 4320 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., Ste. 106, 807-9060. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. BENTO CAFE Asian Kitchen & Sushi, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 11, 503-3238. SEE ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER. CASA MARIA, 14965 Old St. Augustine, 619-8186. SEE BEACHES DANCIN DRAGON, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138D, 363-9888. BOGO lunches and an Asian fusion menu. $$ FB K L D Daily DICK’S WINGS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 619-0954. BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. THE DIM SUM ROOM, 9041 Southside, Ste. 138D, 363-9888, thedimsumroom.com. Shrimp dumplings, beef tripe, sesame ball. Traditional Hong Kong noodles, barbecue. $ FB K L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717. BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. HZ CAFE, 6426 Bowden Rd., Ste. 206, 527-1078. Healthy concept cafe: juices, smoothies, traditional vegan, vegetarian, gluten-free meals and desserts. $ K TO B L Mon.-Fri. LARRY’S SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955. F Bite Club. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MONROE’S Smokehouse BAR B-Q, 10771 Beach Blvd., 996-7900, monroessmokehousebbq.com. SEE RIVERSIDE. PAPI CHULO’S, 9726 Touchton Rd., Ste. 105, 329-1763, ilovepapichulos.com. Tinseltown restaurant offers fresh, authentic Mexican street food, top-shelf tequilas, specialty drinks. Kids eat free. $$ K FB L D Daily THE PIG BAR-B-Q, 11925 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 619-0321, thepigbarbq.com. Fourth-generation barbecue institution has been family-owned for 60+ years. The signature item is mustard-based “pig sauce.” $ BW K TO B, L D Daily SEVEN BRIDGES Grille & Brewery, 9735 Gate Pkwy., 997-1999, 7bridgesgrille.com. F Local seafood, steaks, pizzas. Brewer Aaron Nesbit handcrafts ales, lagers. $$ FB K TO L D Daily TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Ct., 854-0426, tavernayamas.com. F Bite Club. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, wines, desserts. Belly dancing. $$ FB K L D Daily TOMMY’S Brick Oven Pizza, 4160 Southside, Ste. 2, 565-1999, tbopizza.com. New York-style thin crust, brickoven-baked pizzas (gluten-free), calzones, sandwiches.

Boylan’s soda. Curbside pick-up. $$ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE VISCONDE’S Argentinian Grill, 11925 Beach Blvd., Ste. 201, 379-3925. The area’s only Argentinian place.

Traditional steaks, varieties of sausages, pasta, sandwiches, empañadas, wines. $$$ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun. WORLD OF BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Court, Ste. 1, 551-5929, worldofbeer.com. F Burgers, sliders,flatbreads, German pretzels, hummus, pickle chips. Craft German, Cali, Florida, Irish drafts. Wines. $$ BW L D Daily

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

HOLA Mexican Restaurant, 1001 N. Main St., 356-3100, holamexicanrestaurant.com. F Fajitas, burritos, enchiladas, daily specials. Happy hour; sangria. $ BW K TO L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999. SEE ORANGE PARK.

SAVANNAH BISTRO, 14670 Duval Rd., 741-4404. F Low Country Southern fare, taste of Mediterranean and French.

Crowne Plaza Airport. Crab cakes, NY strip, she crab soup, mahi mahi. $$$ FB K B L D Daily THE SHEIK, 2708 N. Main St., 353-8181. SEE ARLINGTON. UPTOWN MARKET, 1303 Main St. N., 355-0734, uptown marketjax.com. Bite Club. Fresh quality fare; farm-totable selections, daily specials. $$ BW TO B L Daily

ASTROLOGY

NEWS OF THE WEIRD BIG-TENT MENTALITY The Project Theater Board at Mount Holyoke College in South Hadley, Massachusetts, decided in January to cancel its annual presentation of the feminist classic Vagina Monologues. The all-women’s college recently declared it would admit males who lived and “identified” as female (regardless of genitalia), and the basis for cancellation of the production was that the unmodifiable script is not “inclusive” of those females — it covers only experiences of females who actually have vaginas.

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED Kathi Fedden filed a $30 million wrongful death lawsuit in December against Suffolk County, New York, police after her 29-year-old son, driving drunk in 2013, fatally crashed into an office. She says her son’s death is the fault of the police officer who stopped him earlier that night and who must have noticed he was already drunk but didn’t arrest him. The officer, who knew the son was the owner of a popular-withcops local deli, just gave the man a lift home, but the inebriated man later drove off in his mother’s car, in which he had the fatal crash.

HOBO’S BEST FRIEND A generous resident (name withheld by KDKATV) of South Oakland, Pennsylvania, in seasonal spirit the week before Christmas, invited a pregnant, homeless woman she’d met at a Rite Aid store home with her for a hot shower, a change of clothes and a warm bed for the night.

The resident had to call police, though, when she went to check on her guest and found her in sexual activity with the resident’s pit bull. The guest, enraged at being caught, vandalized the home before officers came to arrest her.

THE NEW NORMAL The website/smartphone app Airbnb, launched in 2008, connects travelers seeking lodging with folks offering private facilities at certain prices. About a year ago, entrepreneur Travis Laurendine launched a similar smartphone app, “Airpnp,” to connect people walking around

select cities and needing access to a toilet, listing residents who make their utilities available, with description and price. Laurendine told the New York Post in January that New York City is a promising market (though his two best cities are New Orleans and Antwerp, Belgium). The prices vary from free to $20, and facilities range from a sweet-smelling room stocked with reading material to a barely maintained toilet (with no sink) but, said one supplier, sometimes people “really need to go, and this will have to do.”

GOVERNMENT IN ACTION Kentucky, one of America’s financially worse-off states, annually spends $2 million of taxpayers’ money on salaries and expenses for 41 “jailers” who have no jails to manage. Research by Kentucky Center for Investigative Reporting in January noted Kentucky’s constitution requires “elected” jailers, even though 41 counties have closed jails and put detainees elsewhere via contracts with sheriffs. Several jailers have fulltime “side” jobs, and one jail-less jailer employs five deputies; another has 11 part-timers.

NOT MY JOB After a heavy snowstorm in Frankfort, Kentucky (the state capital), in November, with many absences reported, state labor policy agency Labor Cabinet needed snow removal at its headquarters more promptly than overworked cleanup crews could provide. A call was circulated for volunteers to go outside and shovel snow, but that was apparently too laborious for the labor agency; there was only one volunteer.

IRONIC Timothy DeFoggi, 56, sentenced in January to 25 years in prison on child pornography charges couldn’t keep illicit online transactions hidden from law enforcement. Before his conviction, he was acting director for cyber security in the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services and, one would assume (wrongly), an accomplished user of security software.

Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net

LOVE SEASON: POEMS, PSYCHOLOGY & DOCTOR WHO ARIES (March 21-April 19): I hope you have someone in your life to whom you can send this love note – if you don’t, locate that someone no later than Aug. 1: “I love you more than anyone loves you, or has loved you, or will love you, and also, I love you in a way no one loves you, or has loved you, or will love you.

I love you in a way I love no one else, never have loved anyone else, and never will love anyone else.” (Borrowed from Jonathan Safran Foer’s Everything Is Illuminated.)

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “We assume that others show their love in the same way that we do,” writes psychologist Amy Przeworski, “and if they don’t follow that equation, we worry that the love is not there.” You’re on track to overcome this fundamental problem. Your struggles with intimacy have made you wise enough to surrender expectations about how others should show their love. You’re almost ready to let them give their affection and demonstrate their care in ways that come natural to them. Maybe you’re ready RIGHT NOW. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I’d like to bestow a blessing on you and your closest ally. I hope it will help reduce the restlessness that sometimes undermines the dynamism of your relationship. The benediction, inspired by a Robert Bly poem: As you sit or walk or lie next to each other, you share a mood of glad acceptance. You aren’t itchy or fidgeting, wondering if there’s something better to be or do. You don’t wish you were talking about a different subject, feeling a different emotion or living in a different world. You’re content to be exactly who you are, exactly where you are.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Want to infuse romantic interludes with wilder moods now and then? Cultivate a kind of intimacy to tap deeper into your animal intelligence? Try acting out each other’s dreams or drawing magic symbols on each other’s bodies. Whisper funny secrets to each other or wrestle like good-natured drunks on the living room floor. Howl like coyotes. Caw like crows. Purr like cheetahs. Sing boisterous songs and recite feral poetry. Murmur this, adapted from Pablo Neruda: “Our love was born in the wind, in the night, in the earth. That’s why the clay and the flower, the mud and the roots know our names.”

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Is there any sense in which your closest alliance is a gift to the world? Does your relationship inspire anyone?

Do the two of you serve as activators and energizers, igniting fires in the imaginations of those whose lives you touch? If not, find out why. And if so, it’s time to raise your impact to the next level. Together, you now have extra power to synergize your collaboration in a way that sends out ripples of benevolence everywhere you go.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Poet Rainer Marie Rilke said people misunderstand the role of love. “They have made it into play and pleasure because they think that play and pleasure are more blissful than work,” he wrote. “But there is nothing happier than work. And love, precisely because it is the supreme happiness, can be nothing other than work.”

I’m sharing this for two reasons. First, of all zodiac signs, you’re most likely to thrive on his approach. Second, you’re in an astrological cycle phase when your capacity is peaking. Rilke finished his thought: “Lovers should act as if they had a great work to accomplish.”

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): About 2,600 years ago, Greek poet Sappho wrote: “You make me hot.” In the next 10 days, I’d love for you to feel motivated to say or think that on a regular basis.

Astrological omens suggest you’re in a phase when

you’re both more likely to be made hot and more likely to encounter phenomena to make you hot. More fragments from Sappho that come in handy when you need to express torrid feelings: 1. “This randy madness I joyfully proclaim.” 2. “Eros makes me shiver again … Snake-sly, invincible.” 3. “Desire has shaken my mind as wind in the mountain forests roars through trees.” (Translations by Guy Davenport.)

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In TV sciencefiction show Doctor Who, the title character lives in a time machine that’s also a spaceship, called a Tardis. From the outside, it looks to be barely bigger than a phone booth. Once you venture inside, you see it’s a spacious chateau with several rooms, a greenhouse, library, observatory, swimming pool and karaoke bar. It’s a great metaphor for you. Anyone who wants your love or friendship must realize how much you resemble a Tardis.

If they don’t understand you’re far bigger on the inside than you seem on the outside, it’s unlikely the two of you can have a productive relationship. This Valentine season, as a public service, make sure everyone you’re seriously involved with knows this.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Love and intimacy take many forms. There are at least a billion different ways to be attracted to another person, and a trillion different ways to structure your relationship. Maybe your unique bond involves having sex, maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it’s romantic or friendly or holy, or all three. Do the two of you have something important to create together, or is your connection more about fueling each other’s talents? Your task: Respect and revere the idiosyncratic ways you fit together, not force yourselves to conform to a prototype. To celebrate Valentine season, play around with these fun ideas.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Anaïs Nin wrote this in her novel A Spy in the House of Love: “As other girls prayed for handsomeness in a lover, or for wealth, or for power, or for poetry, she had prayed fervently: let him be kind.” Take that approach. A quest for tender, compassionate attention doesn’t always have to be at the top of a list of needs, but it should be for now.

You derive a surprisingly potent alchemical boost from basking in kindness. It’ll catalyze a breakthrough that can’t be unleashed any other way. Ask for it!

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): How many desires do you have? Take a rough inventory.

Identify the experiences you continually seek in a quest to feel relief, pleasure, salvation, love and a sense of meaning. You can include unfulfilled fantasies and dreams that may or may not come true. As you survey this lively array, don’t censor yourself or feel guilt. Give yourself to a sumptuous meditation on all the longings that fuel your journey. This is your prescription for next week. In ways you may not yet be able to imagine, it’s medicine you need.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The German word Nachkussen refers to the kind of kiss that compensates for all the kissing that’s not been happening, all the kissing omitted or lost. If it’s been too long since you’ve kissed anyone, you need Nachkussen.

If your sweetie hasn’t kissed you lately with the focused verve you long for, you need Nachkussen. If you’ve been neglecting to employ your full artistry and passion as you bestow kisses, you need Nachkussen. This Valentine season is your full-on Nachkussen holiday. Go get what you haven’t been getting.

Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 45

FOLIO WEEKLY PUZZLER by MERL REAGLE. Presented by

SAN MARCO 2044 SAN MARCO BLVD. 398-9741

PONTE VEDRA

THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA

330 A1A NORTH 280-1202

Four Little Words

HELLO, YOUNG LOVERS (aka ISU writers)!

The limit for ISU notices is 40 words ONLY. No messages with more than 40 words will be accepted.

Please keep your message short & sweet. Thanks!

ASIAN GODDESS SNAP FITNESS Me: Purposefully stretching longer, in safe creeping distance. You: Gleaming from sweat, holding handstand a respectable amount of time! Took off shoes, socks; caught me watching. Kept gaze. You smiled, continued poses. Left before drool commenced. When: Jan. 20. Where: Snap Fitness. #1505-0204 HOTTIE IN A HAMMOCK You: Tall, leggy, brunette, great skin, rocking in hammock by her pool. Me: Scotch-loving bald guy who still loves a Fierce Polish Viking. Hoping you’ll rock me tonight like your body rocks in that hammock. When: Jan. 28. Where: Beside the pool. #1504-0128 HOT COFFEE MAN You: tall, dark hair, carrying Starbucks. Me: tall, yellow shirt. ISU at Starbucks 20 minutes earlier; again in parking garage stairwell. You held door open for me, I smiled, thanked you. Did you remember me? Let’s get coffee. When: Jan. 22. Baptist Medical Ctr. Garage. #1503-0128 BAYMEADOWS BUSINESS You: Bald white guy, sharp dresser, older white Saturn. Me: Slim white guy. Had my eye on you; said hi when you wished me Happy Holidays on Christmas Eve. Let’s have lunch sometime! When: Dec. 24. Where: Baymeadows management company. #1502-0114 FILL HER UP You: Tall, handsome, blue shirt that said “Refill.” Me: Sexy, in orange dress. Looking for headphones; made small talk. Wanted to request your number, but you looked exhausted from work. Let’s make beautiful music, Mr. Refill. When: Dec. 30. Where: Best Buy. #1501-0107 LOVER FOUND AT WALMART REGISTER? Sunday, 0:45 a.m., S’s register. You: Tan jacket, eyeglasses, nice-looking man, very friendly, holiday spirit. Me: Blue jeans, jeans jacket, right behind you. Should’ve carried conversation further. Looked for you later. When: Dec. 21. Where: Normandy Walmart. #1500-0107 8-8-14; MEANING OF TIME? Easy answer. Time means nothing, absolutely nothing outside context of you. Hours seem like hours, days like days. Dice don’t match. Cards on my heart’s table come up different. Don’t fret; the UNIverse loves us; it’s MASTER of time. When: Aug. 8. Where: Pagan Idol. #1436-1224 TELL[ER] ME ABOUT YOU You: Nice, redheaded, long braid bank teller, remembered my papa’s last name. Me: Young, blonde-bearded, with white-bearded retired police officer.

Let’s have coffee sometime; offi cially meet! When: Dec. 19 FOP Christmas Party. Where: FOP Lodge #530. #1435-1224 LOVED THE SHOW... You: Brunette, glasses, stunningly beautiful; upstairs with some guys. Loved watching you put on lipstick; you looked at me, eyes communicated deep hunger. My girlfriend told you I thought you were beautiful.

I’d love to talk. Me: Long-sleeved green shirt. You know.

When: Dec. 13. Where: OP Kennel Clubhouse. #1434-1224 HOPE WOMAN I SAW READS THIS... You: long, black, curly hair, glasses, tan complexion, beautiful smile!; headed to NY. Me: Non-descript white guy. Not sure if you saw me; thought we locked eyes. Couldn’t keep my eyes off you! Remember?

When: Dec. 4. Where: Jax International Airport. #1433-1224 DEM PINSTRIPES THO ... Light glittered off your beautiful bald head. Gave me that look, poured drink. Hands touched as you gave me the glass. Instantly knew you’re my only bartender.

Liked big orange you gave me. Personal bartender? When: Dec. 13. Where: Time Out Sportsbar & Grill. #1432-1217 V. AND T. AT TOWN CENTER ISU at Aeropostale and American Eagle where we introduced one another. I didn’t want to ask you for your number in front of my daughter.

I’d love to see you again, T. When: Dec. 10. Where: Town Center. #1431-1217

46 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015

SAMSUNG MAN AT BJ’s We both purchased Samsung Chrome on Sunday. You said I’d like keyboard. I said: hope I can get used to it; wanted to ask are you married? Me: Tall, light-skinned. You: Brown, handsome. If unattached, look me up. When: Dec. 7. Where: BJ’s Atlantic Blvd. #1430-1217 MISSING TOOTH GIRL You: Attractive girl, purple dress, missing a front teeth. Me: Handsome devil, orange tank top. I commented I liked your gap before I realized it was a missing tooth. Let’s hop back, get a fountain drink together?

When: Dec. 4. Where: Kangaroo San Pablo. #1429-1210 LIBRARY LOOKER There was nothing spooky about you staring at me, the redhead, on Halloween from Deerwood library check-out line. Tall guy in jeans, what would’ve happened had I held your lengthy stare? Let me know. When: 11:30 a.m. Oct. 31. Where: Southeast Regional Library. #1428-1203 CAN’T GET U OUTTA MY MIND ISU at hospital visit; made my heart pump fast. You: prettiest nurse in white and blue; finest shape, lips, hips, face. If you were mine, I’d hold you in my arms, treat you like a queen. When: Nov. 26. Where: St. Vincent’s Hosp. #1427-1203 LOML – SKY OCEAN GALAXY Handsome professional, great shoulders and electrifying smile wearing a tie. All others hands-off! When: Nov. 23. Where: Southside. #1426-1203 HANDSOME DOG LOVER AT INTUITION You: Handsome man, orange shirt, lots of friends. Me: Short, green-eyed brunette, blue shirt. You asked about my dog, white German shepherd, seemed to like you. Single? Meet at Intuition 11/28, same time? When: Nov. 21. Where: Intuition Ale Works. #1425-1126

ACROSS 1 Most pallid-looking 8 Part of an African city 13 Uses for support 20 Prepare for action, in military parlance 21 Rap sheet name 22 French forest region 23 Shell-shocked, in WWII slang 26 It means “within” 27 Colleague of Boris 28 Oft-checked item 29 Mimicked 30 Milestone 1950s recording 37 Name meaning “hairy” 38 Get the picture 39 Thief’s take 40 Afterthought No. 2 43 Harlem Globetrotters founder Saperstein 46 Osculate 48 Nova subj.

51 Run-of-the-mill 53 Has it ___ 58 A type of energy 59 Japanese et al.

60 Using needles: prefix 61 Creator of the Ushers 62 Singer played by Jennifer Lopez 63 Express derision 64 Spend with abandon 67 Energy 69 Take the bait?

70 Medium ability?

71 A case of the jitters 79 Slangy beliefs 83 Move, as a picture 84 BOLO’s precursor 85 John, in London 86 Spoonful, maybe 88 “If ___ you ...”

89 Transmission type 92 Low-altitude cloud 95 South Vietnam’s first president, ___ Dinh Diem 96 Office asst.

97 98 99 101 104 106 113 116 117 118 119 126 127 128 129 130 131

DOWN 1 TV Ed 2 Pro with a pad 3 “Canter” has one; “center” doesn’t 4 Call forth 5 Tokyo’s old name 6 Good worrier name 7 Lean-___ 8 Thomas’ first VP and namesakes 9 Like some bombshells 10 Intention 11 Baker’s unit 12 “... who lived in ___” 13 Home stretch, perhaps 14 Before, old-style 15 A U.S. Dept.

16 Picnic star 17 Barbershop sound 18 Story starter 19 Must have 24 Winter woe 25 A pop 31 Let enter 32 More than sprinkles 33 Unseat 34 New Age pianist John 35 ___ Town 36 Pore shot?

1

23

24

CUTIE ON A SUZUKI You: Stylish, curly-haired cutie on Suzuki cafe racer. Me: Raven-haired lass, gray VW Jetta.

Sipped coffee at light, turning on Riverside. Looked left, noticed Suzuki. Liked your shoes, style, dirty-blonde locks under helmet. Meet for drink? When: Nov. 12. Where: Riverside Ave. #1423-1119

26

27

BEARDED HOTTIE, SILVER FORD You: Behind me on 95N from Baymeadows to I-10 interchange on 11/4 at 3 p.m.; Nassau tag, dark beard, ball cap, amazing smile. Me: Brown SUV. Can’t get you out of my mind. Can we meet? When: Nov. 4, 3 p.m. Where: Baymeadows & I-95. #1422-1112

3

4

I SAW U Connection Made!

RUNNING SHIRTLESS You: It was around 6:20, you were running through Memorial Park. Caught me checking you out. Me: Wearing the blue shirt. We smiled, I watched you run off – quite a sight. We need to run together. When: Oct. 22. Where: Memorial Park. #1420-1029 DARK CHOCOLATE POM I came in for a few things. You had one in your bathroom. Something rang up wrong.

Offered you chocolate, you told me I was sweet. You seemed earthy. Wonder if you’d like to grab coffee/tea sometime. When: Oct. 21. Where: Your Work, Ponte Vedra Beach. #1419-1029

6

7

8

20

30

31

32

44

45

53

46

65 66 67 68 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 P A T H

A S H E

WA A L I M F A R E D A

I C O N

C O P R A

H O L I E R

11

Solution to Accent on Australia (1/28/15)

S C A L H O R E E L I G H M Z O O J O S E S O N P H AW I A N I N N B E L T A L E S K S R H O E D U B L E T T E L A O T T O WW A S N A N D S N O E P H O N C A M Y K S E X

12

13

48

84

88

89 93

94

99

S O L R M A O U R T Y C A E M S P I I E T E

15

16

K E R N E L

S P Y O N

A L I T

U S E S

A M E N

L O S E

U C L A

B E E R

17

18

19

40

41

42

80

81

82

36

51

52

57

58 62 66 70

76

77

78

79

85

86

90

87

91

95 100

106

96 101 102 103

107 108

113 114 115

50

69 75

92

49

65

83

98

35

61

68

74

S O N Y

R G O O N P T U S P S N O R I S MO T E U D S F R T R I A Y O R K B E E D O I T E R N D E G R I P A T O R F S I T H C E R I C R A D I SWE

29

56

64

73

E X E C

39

60

72

14

B A L S I S T E L S A P P I S T E D

28

55

67

B OM B I D E A S T S H OW S B A S P A M T H E B I V E S S P O T H A C S E M O OMM I P A E A N Y K E S B S K O O S Y O U R S E N I A R D I C E T H E L E E R Y R A

34

54

Sippy cup users “___ bite!”

Vegas fixture Tie up, as a ship Surprisingly limber Designer’s focus “How sweet ___” Car top Vinaigrette addition Eskimo knife Dons quickly Caesar’s boast, Part 2 “Stay” William Tell, for one “Hey, ___!”

Praised, as for valor Troy, to Romans Untrue “___ we rolling?”

Tuscany town Road atlas detail Attendance count Impact sound Rhode Island’s motto Dog in crime capers Nero was one: abbr.

Refreshing place Something to tip Road atlas page Flamenco shout A word to a dog

25

47

63

119

57 62 64

38

59

71

10

Not as ruddy 78 Upright, for one 79 80 Discarded metal 81 Musical key: abbr.

82 Diamond theft?

86 Actress McClurg 87 Persian for “king” 90 Oprah’s opening?

91 Adored one 93 Auctioneer’s word 94 Cochlea locale Prefix with “friendly” 100 102 Drug-resistant 103 bacterium 105 Japanese delicacy 106 Help-wanted sign?

Bug someone’s phone, 107 108 e.g.

Bug someone’s phone, 109 110 e.g.

111 “I knew it!”

112 Illegal bat goo 113 Like Benedict Cumberbatch: abbr. 114 115 Come up Witches’ brew beasties 120 Limerick start, often 121 122 Poet Teasdale 123 Blockhead 124 18 Down follower 125 Hollande’s denial

22

33

37 43

9

40 41 42 43 44 45 47 49 50 52 54 55 56

21

I SAW U Connection Made!

PULLING FOR ORIOLES You: Cranberry shirt, said to me, “I was pulling for them” referring to my Orioles T-shirt. Me: Orioles T-shirt, I said “Yeah” and kept walking. Wish I would have started a conversation. Let’s talk! When: Oct. 26.

Where: Publix on Hodges. #1421-1105

5

AVONDALE 3617 ST. JOHNS AVE. 10300 SOUTHSIDE BLVD. 388-5406 394-1390 AVENUES MALL

Legally hear Compass pt.

“For ___ know ...”

Harem chamber Space Pushin’ one’s hot buttons, maybe Spicy cuisine ___ Alto Big name in ATMs Prefix meaning “Chinese” Perfect party thrower, slangily Fast and bouncy Linguist’s concern Property receiver Unsmiling Power source House rodents

YOU DIDN’T LEAVE! We stared across bar, like we knew it was beginning of deepest connection, friendship, and love we’d ever know. Haven’t left... Slainte! kanpai! Drink your Dirty Girl Scout. Here’s to finding each other again. Really like you! When: April 2011. Where: Bomba’s. #1424-1126

2

SOUTHSIDE

97 104

109

116

110 111 112

117

120 121

105

122

118 123 124 125

126

127

128

129

130

131

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FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 47