Folio Weekly 04/02/14

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APRIL 2-8, 2014

NORTHEAST FLORIDA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1987

The Mustard Seed Cafe Located inside Nassau Health Foods, The Mustard Seed is Amelia Island’s only organic eatery and juice bar, with an extensive, eclectic menu featuring vegetarian and vegan items.

Daily specials include local seafood, free-range chicken and fresh organic produce. Salads, wraps, sandwiches and soups are available — all prepared with our staff’s impeccable style.

Popular items are chicken or veggie quesadillas, grilled mahi, or salmon over mixed greens and tuna melt with Swiss cheese and tomato. Open for breakfast and lunch, 8 a.m.-3 p.m. Mon.Sat. nassauhealthfoods.net

833 T.J. Courson Road 904-277-3141

Lulu’s at The Thompson House Lulu’s owners, Brian and Melanie Grimley, offer an innovative lunch menu, including po’boys, salads and seafood “little plates” served in the gardens of the historic Thompson House.

Dinner features fresh local seafood (Fernandina shrimp is the focus every Thursday), and nightly specials. An extensive wine list and beer are available. Open for lunch and dinner Tue.-Sat., brunch on Sun. Reservations are recommended.

11 S. Seventh Street 904-432-8394

PLAE Restaurant & Lounge Located in the Spa & Shops at Amelia Island Plantation, PLAE serves bistro-style cuisine. The full bar lounge at PLAE has become an instant classic, with artistic décor and live entertainment nightly. Now you can PLAE during the day, too! Open for lunch Tue.-Sat. 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m.

Open at 5:30 p.m. for dinner daily; reservations accepted.

80 Amelia Village Cir. 904-277-2132

Moon River Pizza

Cafe Karibo Homemade sandwiches, salads and soups are served in a relaxed atmosphere in this charming building in the historic district. Delicious fresh fish specials and theme nights (Pad Thai and curry), plus vegetarian dishes, are also featured.

Karibrew Brew Pub & Grub — the only one on the island — offers on-site beers and great burgers and sandwiches.

27 N. Third Street 904-277-5269

29 South Eats This chic, neighborhood bistro has it all — great ambience, fantastic food, an extensive wine list and reasonable prices.

The eclectic menu offers regional cuisine with a modern whimsical twist and Chef Scotty Schwartz won Best Chef in Folio Weekly’s 2007 Best of Jax readers poll. Open for lunch Tues.-Sat., 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m., for dinner 5:30-9:30 p.m.

Mon.-Thur., till 10 p.m. Fri. and Sat. Brunch is 10 a.m.-2 p.m.

Sun. 29southrestaurant.com.

29 S. Third Street 904-277-7919

Brett’s Waterway Café Overlooking Fernandina Harbor Marina, Brett’s offers an upscale atmosphere with outstanding food. The extensive luncheon and dinner menus feature daily specials, fresh Florida seafood, chicken and aged beef. Cocktails, beer and wine. Casual resort wear. Open at 11:30 a.m. daily.

Fernandina Harbor Marina at the foot of Centre Street 904-261-2660

T-Ray’s Burger Station

Moon River Pizza treats customers like family. Cooked in a brick oven, the pizza is custom-made by the slice (or, of course, by the pie). Set up like an Atlanta-style pizza joint, Moon River also offers an eclectic selection of wine and beers. Open for lunch and dinner Mon.-Sat. Dine in or take it with you.

T-Ray’s offers a variety of breakfast and lunch items. In addition to an outstanding breakfast menu, you’ll find some of the best burgers you’ve ever put in your mouth. The Burger Station offers a grilled portabello mushroom burger, grilled or fried chicken salad and much more. The spot where locals grab a bite and go! Now serving beer & wine. Open Mon.-Fri. 7 a.m.-2:30 p.m., Sat. 8 a.m.-1 p.m. Closed Sundays.

925 S. 14th Street 904-321-3400

202 S. Eighth Street 904-261-6310

Ciao Italian Bistro You’ll find this charming Italian Bistro located in the heart of Amelia Island’s Historic District. Whether dining indoors or outside on our covered patio, your experience will be a memorable one. Choose from a fantastic menu filled with authentic homemade Italian dishes and a wine list that will leave your palate pleased. Contact us for reservations or catering needs. Open Sun.-Thurs. at 5 p.m., Fri. and Sat. at 11:30 a.m.

302 Centre Street 904-206-4311

Sliders Seaside Grill Oceanfront dining at its finest. Award-winning crab cakes, fresh daily seafood specials and homemade desserts. Sliders has Amelia Island’s only waterfront Tiki Bar, as well as a children’s playground and live music every weekend. The dining experience is complete with brand-new second-story banquet facilities, bar and verandah. Open at 11 a.m. daily Mon.-Fri. Make Sliders Seaside Grill your place to be for friends and family, entertainment and the best food on the East Coast. Call for your next special event.

1998 S. Fletcher Ave. 904-277-6652

Jack & Diane’s

The locals’ favorite hangout! Dine inside or on the patio of this cozy, renovated 1887 shotgun home in historic downtown Fernandina. From the crab & shrimp omelet to the steak & tomato pie, “The tastiest spot on Centre” offers food with attitude and unexpected flair. Live music elevates your dining experience to a new level. Come for breakfast, stay for dinner! You’ll love every bite!

708 Centre Street 904-321-1444

David’s Restaurant & Lounge Located in the Historic District, David’s is a place to have a dining experience, not just dinner. Offering the freshest seafood from around the world and serving only the finest prime aged meats. Dover sole, Chilean sea bass, soft shell crab & nightly fresh fish special. Filet Oscar, rack of lamb & and our signature 16oz grilled-to-perfection ribeye always available. Add foie gras or a Maine lobster tail to any entrée. Elegant but chic atmosphere. Bar & lounge with live music and complimentary valet parking on Fri. & Sat. nights. Private dining offered up to 12 guests in our Wine Room. Private parties up to 50. Wine Spectator rated. Lounge open 5 p.m.: open 6 p.m. for dinner, nightly. Reservations highly recommended.

AmeliaIslandDavids.com

802 Ash Street 904-310-6049

Amelia Island is 13 miles of unspoiled beaches, quaint shops, antique treasures and superb dining in a 50-block historic district less than one hour north of Jacksonville 2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 2-8, 2014

APRIL 2-8, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 3

OF

CONTENTS // APRIL 2-8, 2014 • VOLUME 28 • NUMBER 1

EDITOR’S NOTE HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US

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25 MAIL NEWS FIGHTIN’ WORDS COVER STORY

OUR PICKS MUSIC THE KNIFE MOVIES

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MAGIC LANTERNS ARTS DINING BITE-SIZED

16 18 22 25

ASTROLOGY I SAW U CROSSWORD BACKPAGE

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36 37 38 39

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EDITORIAL

EDITOR • Jeffrey C. Billman jbillman@folioweekly.com / ext. 115 SENIOR EDITOR • Marlene Dryden mdryden@folioweekly.com / ext. 131 EDITOR • David Johnson BENEFITA&E SUPPORT djohnson@folioweekly.com / ext. 128 WRITER-AT-LARGE • Susan Cooper Eastman seastman@folioweekly.com CARTOONIST Tom Tomorrow CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Rob Brezsny, Daniel A. Brown, John E. Citrone, Julie Delegal, AG Gancarski, Nicholas Garnett, Claire Goforth, Dan Hudak, Shelton Hull, MaryAnn Johanson, Amanda Long, Heather Lovejoy, Nick McGregor, Cameron Meier, Jeff Meyers, Kara Pound, Carley Robinson, Chuck Shepherd, Merl Reagle, Melody Taylor and Abigail Wright

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9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 Phone: 904.260.9770 • Fax: 904.260.9773

was 7 years old the day Folio Weekly was born, on April 7, 1987, a towheaded kid whose life’s ambition was to be point guard for the Detroit Pistons (a dream cut short, sadly, by my inability to grow past 5-foot-10 and a general lack of athletic talent). I majored in journalism a decade later because I liked to write and couldn’t figure out what else to do with myself. I began writing for an alt-weekly a few years after that, as an intern assigned to spend a summer investigating a time-share magnate’s decadesold shady land deals, digging through property records in far-away county government buildings (these things were not yet online), knocking on doors all over the state, sitting in on what is still to this day the singularly craziest interview with which I’ve ever been involved.

The resulting story, co-bylined with the paper’s news editor (who, of course, did the heavy lifting and actual writing), won some statewide investigative reporting honor or another — a hell of a thing for an intern to put on his résumé — but by then that didn’t really matter: Alternative journalism — fearless, tenacious no-holds-barred narrative reporting — was a bug, and I’d caught it. Even during my sabbatical in the freelance and magazine worlds, it never went away.

This is in some ways thankless work: Most publications like this one are understaffed, their employees underpaid and overworked.

You tend not to have the most up-to-date computers or any sort of corporate ladder to climb. But you do have freedom: freedom to tell stories no one else will, to be the voice of the underground; freedom to say the things that need saying, things that too often go unsaid; freedom to be scrappy, proudly detached from the establishment and its circle-jerk conventions; freedom to swear in print and never wear a tie. And most of all, writing for an alt-weekly means (or should mean) you’re someone with the power to influence and change your corner of the world for the better.

We don’t just have a job. We have a mission.

Four months ago, I came to helm this alt-weekly, which is now 27 years along and, like many alt-weeklies of its generation — and, well, newspapers in general — still trying to sort out its place in an evercrowded media stratosphere, competing for a dwindling pool of print ad dollars while trying to navigate the brave new digital world. While the challenges we face are undeniable, so too are the opportunities.

You’ve started to see some of the changes we have planned for the coming weeks and months — beginning last week with our new flag — and we’re positively stoked about what the future has in store. As the city we call home grows and becomes increasingly dynamic, we’ll do the same.

From our very first issue, even as editors and staff writers and sales reps have come and gone, Folio Weekly has been this city’s independent voice, exposing charlatans, challenging politicians and championing those who want to make Northeast Florida a better place to live, and having a lot of fun and winning a bunch of awards along the way. My goal, for however long I’m privileged to hold this position, is to live up to this standard, to carry on this magazine’s proud tradition.

Happy birthday, Folio Weekly. Here’s to 27 more.

Jeffrey C. Billman twitter/jeffreybillman jbillman@folioweekly.com

FULL EXPOSURE // DENNIS HO

JUST PASSING THROUGH: Transient Billy Grant sits in the lotus position in Hemming Plaza in Downtown on March 30. Originally from Nacogdoches, Texas, Grant says he’d planned to be in Jacksonville for a month but has stayed for two years. “This park is quiet and peaceful,” says Grant. “Nobody bothers you and the weather is nice.” Grant says he’ll stay here one more week before hitchhiking to Tennessee to live with his daughter.

When asked where he sleeps now, he gamely responded, “Under a bridge.”

MAIL Real and Original

I wanted to thank you for the wonderfully written article about Tambor [The Knife, “Bless Their Little Hearts,” John E. Citrone, March 26]!

Out of all the years of playing instrumental music in Jacksonville with Antarctic and Tambor, we have had very little press. It’s always pop, indie rock and singer-songwriters that seem to get any attention in this town. Because of your understanding of the genre, you were the perfect person to write that article. You highlighted the most important aspects of our group — the songwriting, our influences and our approach, not bullshit like, “What does your name mean?

Do you have any funny stories from the road?

Blah blah blah.” It’s reassuring to know there is someone promoting and writing about real and original music in Folio Weekly.

Chris Jackson [Editor’s Note: Jackson is a guitarist and percussionist in Tambor.]

Silly and Gullible

I read your piece today [News, “Save the Whales,” Susan Cooper Eastman, March 26].

You wrote, “The volume of noise produced by the air guns has been described as 100,000 times louder than a jet engine.”

Louder than 100,000 jet engines? Really? You actually believe that? Sounds like someone just made something up out of thin air so silly that only the silly and gullible would believe it.

You bring up valid points of concern when it comes to whales and seismic air-gun testing, but when you write hyperbolic tripe like “louder than 100,000 jet engines,” you quickly lose credibility.

bad Brown is black, because if he were white, he would be elected in a landslide. I don’t blame Brown. That’s what politicians do. So he wanted to balance the budget without raising taxes? Big deal. Oh, the poor City Council doesn’t wanna be the bad guy by making the cuts themselves.

Boo-hoo! What do they do all day besides complain about the mayor? Have you ever seen a politician campaign on a platform of raising taxes? I haven’t, until now maybe.

First Amendment Rights

Where do I send a check to contribute to Chip Southworth’s defense fund [Editor’s Note, “The Ghost and Us,” Jeffrey C. Billman, March 26]?

Street art gives some visual relief to the ugliness of colossal bridge abutments, highway overpasses and other man-made structures that can be so large as to block out the sun.

The street artist often uses his skills to express an opinion against current government activities. What better way to send a message seen by thousands of motorists on a daily basis?

Seems to me that, in this case, the street artist is merely practicing his First Amendment rights.

Imagine if Target and Walmart and other big-box buildings used street art instead of the ugly block lettering and neon signs that that they now use to announces their location. Many first-class cities now embrace the work of street artists; they give these cities their own identities.

Wouldn’t be great if we could turn Jacksonville into Austin East, a truly worldclass tourist destination?

Chip, keep up the good work.

Rick Mansfield

Jeff Karr

Taxes and Homosexuals

Alvin Brown should be embraced by the Tea Party in the next election [Editor’s Note, “On Courage,” Jeffrey C. Billman, March 12]. He hates taxes and homosexuals equally. It’s too

If you would like to respond to something that appeared in Folio Weekly, please send an email with your address and phone number (for verification purposes only) to mail@folioweekly.com. We reserve the right to edit letters for grammar, clarity and space.

APRIL 2-8, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5

NEWS BUZZ

ADVERTISING PROOF This is a copyright protected © Benevolentproof Transformations

On Sunday afternoon, we broke out our very

For questions, please call your advertising representative 260-9770. finest thrift-store Chuck at Taylors and joined a coupleIFhundred of Jacksonville’s beautiful FAX YOUR PROOF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655

and/or wealthy and/or powerful people, who had all shelled out $75 to be here ($25 more for a plus-one), at the groundbreaking for Unity Plaza, a Brooklyn Producedceremony by _ Checked

by Sales Rep _ mixed-use development anchored by the upscale 220 Riverside apartment complex set to open this summer. If all goes to plan,

by November these apartments will be surrounded by six restaurants; a 2,000-seat outdoor amphitheater; a 45-foot sculpture that will reflect the park’s two overarching themes, “transformation” and “benevolence,” as Unity Plaza’s infectiously exuberant executive director, Jen Jones, describes it; and an “open-air library” open to all segments of the community — all accessible through a bike share program and JTA street cars.

The idea is to make Unity Plaza a focal point for activity, and to connect Downtown to Riverside. The plaza, Jones says, will feature eccentric special events — e.g., sumo wrestling and sushi — along with concerts and “the nation’s largest literary festival,” and serve as a vehicle to overcome the city’s “inferiority complex.”

This project marks a first-of-its-kindhere public-private partnership between the city and developer Hallmark Partners.

Early in Mayor Alvin Brown’s term, the city allocated $3 million toward the plaza (paired with Hallmark’s $38 million). It’s the kind of thing cities all over the country have been doing for years in the name of urban renewal, in many cases quite successfully.

Whether Unity Plaza will live up its promised revolutionary status — “This is the time and place for Jacksonville to present its truth; that truth is the light inside us,” Hallmark CEO Alex Coley said in his speech — is a question we’ll leave for another day. (As one perhaps-jaded attendee asided to us, “This is either gonna be great or the biggest flop this city has ever seen.”)

Leaving that aside, the ceremony (which, to its credit, did not feature the suited men shoveling dirt typical of these affairs) offered a cornucopia of weird — sometimes charmingly, other times not: There was the awkward yay-Jacksonville anthem Unity commissioned from gorgeous local duo Flagship Romance (“We’re a bold new city, it’s a brand new day”), which name-checked everything from Friendship Fountain to the Riverside Arts Market; the hippie-dippy descriptions on Unity’s marketing signs, which promised to “nourish the community © 2014 consciousness to ignite the divine spark alive in each of our souls”; the drumming flash mob; the raw sweet potatoes and fake diamonds and pearls (or so the pawn shop told us) they gave us on the way out.

Those last items were all tied to Coley’s speech: The diamonds and pearls related to various religious parables, calling us to “activate the inner light within you.”

The tubers had to do with an old story about researchers who air-dropped sweet potatoes on an island beach. The monkeys who lived in the jungle came out to collect the potatoes, but the older ones declined to eat them because they were covered in sand. One young monkey figured out how to wash them and showed it to her mother; this practice soon spread throughout the monkey community.

“You are the change agents,” Coley told us.

“So help yourself to a sweet potato.”

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Quote of the Week!

“Is there any way to have that expunged from the record?

I’m never gonna live that down.”

— Alex Coley, after referring to the City Council president as “Mayor Gulliford” at the groundbreaking ceremony for Unity Plaza, with Mayor Alvin Brown standing 5 feet away.

Still Fighting It

It’s been 43 years since Jacksonville faced the federal lawsuit that forced the Fire Department to hire black firefighters — and the city’s still fighting over it. Last week, Senior U.S. Judge Harvey Schlesinger ordered settlement hearings on the 1971 discrimination case to be held April 23.

That date will mark the second time that the federal court has tried to settle the case instead of ruling on whether the city is in violation of a consent decree the court signed back in 1982.

That year, in order to increase the number of black firefighters on the force, the city agreed to hire one AfricanAmerican firefighter for every hired white firefighter until the department’s racial makeup matched that of Jacksonville itself.

But then in 1992, the city halted that policy, determining that it had met its racial goals. The problem, the black firefighters

allege, is that the city should have returned to court to be released from the agreement, but never did.

Afterward, unsurprisingly, the city’s hiring of black firefighters dropped dramatically. In addition to the hiring lawsuit, the city also faces a discrimination suit, which the U.S. Department of Justice joined, alleging discrimination in promotions and another lawsuit alleging that the city’s hiring and promotion practices create a hostile workplace for African-Americans.

Beyond the lawsuits, there’s also a nasty bile that seeps out from time to time. In 2006, while the Jacksonville Brotherhood of Firefighters, an organization of black firefighters, was meeting with the city to discuss ongoing issues, two black firefighters found nooses on their gear.

Black firefighters have long suspected that certain white firefighters get special help when it comes to readying for written promotional exams. In a deposition related to one of the lawsuits, a fire captain admitted that he held study sessions at his house for motivated firefighters in which questions from past exams were utilized. This year, an exam for lieutenant was suspended after allegations surfaced that the questions being prepared had been copied and given to certain (read: white) applicants.

After black firefighters asked the federal court in 2007 to rule that the city was in violation of the consent decree, there’ve been two rounds of settlement talks — in 2009 and in 2012.

During a hearing last year, fire chief Martin Senterfitt basically said he could either hire the best and be sued by black firefighters, or make sure the hiring is fair and be sued by white firefighters. But that shouldn’t be the issue if there are qualified white and black candidates.

Give it to Judge Schlesinger for believing decades of racial distrust and animus can all be talked away.

— Jeffrey C. Billman and Susan Cooper Eastman

NEWS

BLURRED LINES

For St. Johns County Commissioner Rachael Bennett, there’s little difference between loyalty to her constituents and loyalty to her former employer Bennett’s reported income decreased from 2011 to 2012, while her net worth increased substantially.

$184,107

$145,500 $87,851

$24,977 2011

2012

TOTAL INCOME

2011

2012

TOTAL NET WORTH

Sources: Bennett’s 2011 and 2012 Full and Public Disclosure of Financial Interests filings

P

riscilla was the moniker that adorned corporate documents not so long ago, when she served as vice president of The Hutson Companies, the barons who own so much land throughout Northeast Florida.

Rachael was the name under which she ran a staggering campaign for a seat on the St. Johns County Commission in 2012, serving as the figurehead for developers’ ambitions and the Yankee money flooding in to buy houses in planned communities that might have been marsh or forest before they became a subdivision — a nice area with nice people and good schools.

The voters of St. Johns County were first courted by Rachael Bennett when there was still some overlap with Priscilla, when she was the chosen candidate of interests in the development world that had been thwarted by slow-growth locals a few years back. Bennett marketed herself as a no-nonsense Republican woman — Ann Richards meets Ayn Rand — and a master of inside baseball, capable of cutting through bureaucratic red tape and getting things done. She’d been employed for three years by the county’s Development Services Division before entering the private sector and eventually joining Hutson, and knew the halls of government inside and out.

This experience made her an influential player — one her critics say is willing to work the levers of power on behalf of her former colleagues at Hutson. Bennett’s 2012 campaign spent upward of $103,000, more than all her competitors spent combined, money largely derived from Hutson and others in the construction world. During the primary, a Hutson affiliate called AFI Associates (one of 22 Hutson-related subsidiary companies

Graphic: Shan Stumpf

that listed Bennett as vice president or officer in state records as recently as January 2012) financed the Citizens for a Better St. Johns political action committee, which paid for fliers on Bennett’s behalf.

Just a week after winning the Republican nomination, Bennett returned the favor.

She met with county staffers to lobby for an interchange on I-95 and a new county road Hutson needed for its SilverLeaf Plantation development, a project approved by the county in 2006 that would feature 10,700 residences and almost 2 million square feet of commercial space.

Back then, the Times-Union asked Bennett if, once elected, she would recuse herself from any votes that affected her clients. “I would follow the law to the letter, as usual,” she replied.

In 2013, Bennett, now a commissioner, shepherded through Resolution 2013-109, in which the county accepted a land donation from Hutson subsidiary Elkton Green (which had also listed Bennett as VP a year earlier) in exchange for the extension of a county road Hutson needed to eventually build a massive subdivision, an artery Hutson has desired for at least a decade. She did not recuse herself.

Bennett says she didn’t have to. She’s had “no ties to Hutson” since taking office, having resigned from the company in January 2012, she told Folio Weekly in an email. “I have conferred with our county attorney, and based on his determinations as well as my own I am confidant that I neither have a conflict of interest nor the appearance of a conflict of interest.”

So long as there’s no current business relationship, county attorney Patrick

APRIL 2-8, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7

NEWS

McCormack says, there’s no conflict that would require her to abstain from voting.

Bennett’s critics, however, point to what they see as discrepancies in her financial disclosure filings, both as a candidate in 2012 and an elected official in 2013 (each covering the previous year). Those records indicate that, even as her income declined substantially, her net worth ballooned by nearly $100,000 in less than a year. That raises the question: How did she become more liquid while making less money?

For 2012, Bennett reported earning $24,977 — $8,885 as a Hutson employee, another $7,137 from her time on the county commission, and $8,955 in rental income. The year before, she reported making $145,500 as a Hutson VP. Despite this lower income, Bennett’s reported net worth more than doubled between May 2012 and January 2013, from $87,851 to $184,107.

Bennett says that occurred “due to returning values of real estate that I own. I owned two properties that appreciated in value.” She declined to give details about these properties and alleged that Folio Weekly had received “garbled information.”

The financial disclosure form she filed in 2013 lists two properties, This is a copyright protected proof © both in St. Augustine — one appraised at $290,044, the other at $129,370. The form she filed in For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770.

2012 listed those same properties as being FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE 268-3655 worth $289,000 and $89,500,AT respectively, a net gain of about $41,000. The remainder of her improved standing appears to have come from $17,650 in her state pension plan and an Produced by KAC_ $24,390 Checked by to Sales Rep RE_ additional she added her checking SUPPORT ASK FOR ACTION and savings accounts.

Where did that money come from? Her 2013 financial disclosure form mentions, under “secondary income,” an unspecified amount from Cogito LLC, a consulting firm © 2014 she founded in January 2012. Bennett’s filings from 2012 and 2013 indicate that Cogito’s “major sources” of revenue were Elkton Green and AFI Associates, respectively — Hutson subsidiaries both.

Ken Bryan, the former St. Johns County commissioner whom Bennett defeated in 2012, says he believes that Cogito is a “shell corporation, a pretty obvious cover-up” that allows Hutson to continue funneling money to its former executive.

Hutson did not respond to requests for comment. Bennett denies that charge: “Whoever is trying to lead you down the conflict-of-interest/tie-to-Hutson path is baying at the moon. Some people are determined to see ugliness where there is none.”

It’s worth noting that even Bennett’s fiercest critics — several of whom declined to speak on the record — say they respect her competence and intelligence. Also worth noting: Bennett’s ties to Hutson were well-documented during the 2012 campaign, and St. Johns County voters elected her anyway.

David Wiles, a former member of the Planning & Zoning Agency and intellectual cornerstone of the county’s slow-growth constituency, says that the real test will come if and when Hutson asks the county to amend existing deals to further its interests. “I expect Hutson will demand many concessions to previous infrastructure obligations” made as part of both the SilverLeaf and Elkton Green developments, he says.

Bennett’s 2014 financial disclosure filing, which will cover the calendar year 2013, is due in July. Perhaps then we’ll have a better sense of where The Hutson Companies stop and Rachael Bennett begins.

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FIGHTIN’ WORDS

THE LONELY JIHAD Deciphering Al Qaeda wannabe Shelton Bell’s test pattern

J

ihad, properly understood, involves a personal struggle among one’s impulses, culture and understanding of Allah’s desires. What’s clear about Shelton Bell, the bearded-hipster-looking Jacksonville native who pleaded guilty last month to supporting terrorism overseas, is that his jihad was real.

At least to him.

His jihad: the existential struggle, the stranger in a strange land, the kid who felt so alone, so anonymous, that last year he started to use a test pattern as a profile picture on his Facebook page. Twenty years old, Bell is facing up to 30 years in federal lockup for committing several treasonous acts: for trying to join Al Qaeda and go to Yemen for jihad, for training to fight here in Florida, for recruiting others to join his cause.

What is known: He went to Englewood High School. Smart enough to fix computers from a flea market stall. Spiteful enough to jack those computers and cash from his partner and split.

And to go to a cemetery

by Craig Field, playing soldier-in-training and desecrating reliquaries on the grounds.

By the time they got a shot of him in the green jumper, ready for his close-up, he had the thousand-yard stare of a man who wanted all of it to be over. A federal prosecutor descibed him as ready to fight, ready to kill, ready to die.

A test pattern: blank, signifying nothing.

Shelton Bell might have been ready to fight, ready to die, ready to kill. But why? His plea agreement says little about motivation, beyond that he “agreed with much [of the] Al Qaeda teachings” he’d heard from Anwar Al-Awlaki. He made a video at one point invoking Osama bin Laden and referencing a jihadi flag flying over the White House. “The message is, what are you doing for Allah?” he asked. “What lengths are you willing to go?”

Was it jihad? He said it was. After he was deported from Jordan in 2012, his plan to enter Yemen through Oman disrupted, he told federal agents, “If you ask me if I was

going to jihad in Yemen, I say yes.” But the jihad he was committing to was so clearly not his own. He may have been fighting his own demons instead, like so many men his age.

The years between 18 and 21 are a time when schizophrenia or bipolar disorder or some other implacable demon sets in and imposes a metallic haze over one’s consciousness.

One argument for this thesis: Bell immediately converted — not just to Islam, but to a radical variant — after reading a couple chapters of the Quran, childhood friend Teresa Gorzczya told the Associated Press last July, after Bell’s arrest. “He said he just knew it was the way to go. … [His] goal was to reach Saudi Arabia so he could fight with his fellow Muslims to fight against their corrupt government.”

Another argument along the same lines: The plea agreement makes it seem as if Bell wanted to be validated as a revolutionary more than he wanted to actually participate in revolution.

Though he went to great lengths to appear like a jihadi badass, he never quite took the next step of taking up arms against his countrymen — something he could’ve done stateside much more easily than on the path he chose.

Given that, there’s a case to be made that Bell’s sentence is too harsh, that the feds sought to draw more blood than was necessary. Barely out of high school, Bell’s consciousness was still in a formative stage when he traveled to the Middle East. Of course, you could say the same thing about frontline American soldiers in that part of the world.

And you could say that the soldiers, and Bell, were both fighting for abstractions: one for the illusive concept of American democracy, the other for the equally fictive construct of “pure” Islam as a logical reaction to American exceptionalism and the expansive foreign policy undergirding it.

© 2014

Bell wanted to be validated as a revolutionary more than he wanted to actually participate in revolution.

AG Gancarski @aggancarski mail@folioweekly.com

APRIL 2-8, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9

FolioW

10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 2-8, 2014

CHAPTER I: The Empty Chair December 2013. CoRK Arts District.

Wayne Wood’s head hasn’t moved, nor has his body. He reclines in a folding chair, his legs outstretched, his ankles crossed. His torso is straight and sturdy, his arms folded across his chest. His eyeballs roll up. His lids close.

Wood is a member of an advisory board for a theatrical project I’m working on. This meeting is one of many that the 68-year-old retired optometrist and self-proclaimed “Arts Agitator” (it’s on his Facebook page) committed to today. It’s sandwiched between a date with the publisher of his latest book and a speaking engagement at an architectural conference Downtown. He’d originally shown up two hours early for this meeting, but seemed neither irritated nor relieved as he left. Now he’s back, and asleep.

Wood supports my project and many other artistic, historic and cultural projects in Jacksonville. He has more than a few of his own as well. One of them is a multifaceted pitch to the city in which he and his partners, Friends of Hemming Park, will transform Hemming Plaza from a mecca for the homeless into a thriving, vital centerpiece of the Downtown core.

Admirers and friends, of which he has scads, agree that if anyone can do it, it’s Wayne Wood. And so does Wayne Wood. “Everyone’s been telling me that — that I’m the only one who can do this,” he says. “It’s both a burden and kind of the truth, too.”

Wood’s no stranger to seemingly impossible feats. Riverside Avondale Preservation and Riverside Arts Market are among the highlights of an extensive list of accomplishments throughout his biography. Projects that illuminate our history, embrace our architecture, arts and artists, and historic places are Wayne’s thing — but only if it’s fun. “If it’s not fun, I’m not gonna do it,” Wood says with a Willy Wonka mischievousness. “If it is fun I’ll do it. I’ll walk 10 miles to go do something fun.”

Apparently my presentation today doesn’t meet this criterion.

Fifteen minutes before the meeting’s end, I see that the Arts Agitator’s chair is empty. I didn’t see him wake up, or leave, but somehow he’s vanished, on to his next endeavor.

Wayne Wood’s renowned slate of “fun” projects this past year included judging a tattoo fashion show; creating for One Spark a 300-photo wall of blown-up portraits of artists and creators ranging from sculptors to drag queens; and launching the Casket Factory Halloween Party, billed as the “greatest Halloween party in Jacksonville’s history,” a fund-raiser for the restoration and maintenance of Old St. Luke’s Hospital, a National Register landmark constructed in 1878 and owned by the Jacksonville Historical Society.

The nearby casket factory had been closed for 50 years. Wood and his many volunteers transformed the space into a haunted house. He was involved in every detail.

“Wayne is the greatest idea person in town, so we start there,” says Emily Lisska, executive director of the Jacksonville Historical Society. The two have worked together on a number of projects since the mid-’90s, including Wood’s book, The Jacksonville Family Album: 150 years of the Art of Photography. Throughout that process, Lisska says, Wood was reluctant to gratuitously invoke his family’s longstanding connection to the city: “Wayne was very modest — well, I don’t know if ‘modest’ and Wayne are synonymous, but he actually holds back. People don’t think of Wayne as holding back, but he does. He deserves credit for so many of the accomplishments of the city that he hasn’t been given credit for, as much as he has been applauded and lauded.”

Indeed he has been. There are few characters in Jacksonville more ubiquitous or enigmatic. Wood has fingers, and thumbs and toes and other assorted digits, in an astounding number of projects — if something important is going on somewhere in Jacksonville, chances are, somehow, some way, Wayne Wood is involved, and possibly the force behind it.

At Riverside Arts Market, which Wood founded.

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Wood, in his study, showing off a collection of photos of historic Jacksonville landmarks, including his house.

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Wood has called this celebrated, centuryProducedold byRiverside jdw Checked Sales house his by home for moreRep than db 15 years. It’s Gatsbyesque, walled and gated, vivacious and trustworthy, the kind of house that trick-or-treaters want to visit, and aren’t disappointed when they do. Its landscaped entrance is impressive but not intimidating.

Wood’s house is known to many, and often doubles as a venue for various artists’ projects.

He gives informal as well as formal tours, and astutely describes the history of the design and the pieces of historic façades he’s collected.

During one of these events several months 2012 were treated to back, guests and© performers a tour that included a visit upstairs. Wood bemusedly pointed out the original bathtub, which has a faucet in the middle, instead of at one end. “They were intelligent back then,” he quipped. “They made tubs like this for two people, so they could have fun in there without anyone getting a faucet in the back.”

Guests marveled at the master bedroom, which included another large tub with an adjacent fireplace, as well as a large mirror on the ceiling (installed by a previous owner and since removed, he says).

Next to the bed against the wall that night were dozens of pairs of immaculately kept women’s shoes, tenderly arranged, as if at any moment a woman may emerge from the tub, put on a white terrycloth robe and carefully select her evening’s foot attire. His tone became softer, discreet. The shoes belonged to his wife, he said. Gini had passed away some months before. Wood told his female guests that should their shoe size match, they could take any pair they like. He planned to give them away soon anyway.

Earlier that evening, before the guests had arrived, as he arranged coffee cups in the butler’s pantry, I’d asked him how he was, how his grieving process was going. He seemed taken aback. “People don’t usually ask me that.”

FolioWeekly

CHAPTER III: “Gini Died” It’s months later, a sunny winter afternoon.

A man pressure-cleans the front walkway

12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 2-8, 2014

of Wood’s house. An astounding teepee on the front lawn rivals the house for attention.

Wood smiles. “This caused a little controversy with some neighbors, but we got a permit, and it will be here,” he says. There are floral and fake-leopard-skin pillows strewn on a mat on the ground inside. Wood explains, with expert detail, the process of building a teepee, as well as its architectural origins. His brother built this one, and once built another three times its size for Bob Dylan.

“It was going to be a One Spark venue for an artist I was working with, but that fell through,” he tells me. “Now, [local blogger] Kerry Speckman is going to use it during One Spark. She’s going to sleep in it, too.”

Another man arrives to deliver Wood’s new book, Flying Colors: The Life & Work of Courtney Hunt, hot off the press. It’s about the life of the late Julian Courtney Hunt, a prolific portrait painter and aviator. While researching the book, Wood, who knew and admired Hunt, spent a year or more tracking down, purchasing and borrowing Hunt’s paintings for an exhibition and book signing at the St. Augustine Art Association. He stops to sign for the books, and then helps the man unload

Gini Wood. Courtesy of Wayne Wood.

each box, one by one. Inside the house, walls are warmed with the deep oranges, purples and reds of the many collected Hunt paintings, as well as works from Wood’s own extensive collection. Rich and sturdy mahogany trim adorns the ceilings. The house is full of light.

He stacks the boxes of books in the front hall, opens one box carefully, inspects a book and returns it, with little fanfare. He goes the freezer to find ice for his Diet Coke and offers me a drink. The freezer’s contents include various flavored pints of Ben and Jerry’s, a dozen or more Zip-Loc bags of unmarked leftovers, ice and a blue bottle of Bombay gin, all haphazardly packed inside.

Wood hands me a six-page, typed printout of his year’s most important events, which he’s prepared for our interview. He reclines in his chair, his ankles crossed. His arms fold across his chest.

“March 2013” reads: 1. Led the parade for the opening day at RAM 2. Moved Gini to hospice 3. Made photos of 100 people in the creative community for upcoming One Spark exhibit 4. Organized my class reunion at World Golf Village 5. Gini died Gini passed away March 20, 2013, after a long battle with Alzheimer’s. Throughout her illness, Wood took care of her in their home until he no longer could. In her final weeks, he moved her into an Alzheimer’s facility, along with her favorite paintings, Oriental carpets, antique furniture and dog, complete with a dog-walking service. These details are included on the list.

“Before we married, we used to walk through the neighborhood in search of our dream home,” he tells me. “We put together a list of homes we would like to have. None of them were for sale. This is one of those homes.

We bought it. We got married on New Year’s Eve right over there.” He points to a large room at the entrance to the home. “No one knew it was a wedding they were attending. They thought that it was a New Year’s Eve party.”

Gini was a therapist and art collector.

“I kept her illness from her.

She had a very tough childhood.

I wanted her to have dignity.

She got gypped — taken too soon.”

She never knew she had Alzheimer’s. “I kept her illness from her,” he says. “She had a very tough childhood. I wanted her to have dignity. We’d go to dinner, and before going in I’d remind her of our friends’ names, and who they were, to make it easier for her to participate in the conversation. She got gypped — taken too early.”

CHAPTER IV: Hats

“You have to love Wayne,” says longtime friend and collaborator Doug Coleman, organizer of TedX Jacksonville and executive vice president of the Jacksonville Sister Cities Association. Coleman and Wood met in the late 1970s. Wood was his optometrist.

Together, they helped found Riverside Avondale Preservation.

“I hear people say that Wayne’s just doing this for publicity,” Coleman says. “I can’t believe that. He gets lots of credit, but he deserves all of it. He’s always a lot of fun. He’s got a lot of showmanship in him. He’s a little bit crazy at times. He’ll wear some of the strangest hats you can imagine.”

This is true. Wayne Wood wears many hats — literally and figuratively: Canadian Mountie

hats, Viking hats, Conquistador hats; author, poet, curator, photographer, architectural expert, historian, writer of underground comics, father, brother, grandfather, bachelor, mentor, physician. “He wore a different hat every Saturday for the two years I worked with him at RAM,” says Tony Allegretti, incoming executive director of the Cultural Council of Greater Jacksonville. “He’s gotta have 80 or PROMISE OF BENEFIT more — no, definitely more. ” Wood began wearing and collecting these hats, he says, “to remember not to take myself so seriously.”

In a similar vein, he says that after he dies, he wants his ashes compounded into a brick.

Wood describes his decision to become an optometrist as one made out of necessity, in order to have a comfortable living practicing an area of medicine that didn’t involve any blood or death. “I love optometry because you don’t get bloody, and no one dies from it,” he says. His career lasted nearly 40 years, and he enjoyed it, but in his version of his life story, the years of work he put into his occupation are but minor details, steps toward becoming a community activist and arts supporter “without worrying about having to get paid.”

The path began with a bachelor’s in English from Emory University in 1967, and later a doctorate in optometry from the University of Houston in 1971.

Wood and his first wife, Shirley Webb, raised their children not far from his current home. Divorced for more than two decades, Wood and Webb, executive director of The Women’s Center of Jacksonville, remain neighbors and friends. He thanked and recognized her in Jacksonville’s Architectural Heritage: Landmarks for the Future, the 422-page mammoth reference book published

by University Press of Florida in 1989.

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CHAPTER V: The Epic Project

In 2011, Wood, Coleman and artist Dolf James sat down together with an idea for something they called The Epic Project.

Coleman had recently returned from Grand Rapids, Mich., a nearly bankrupt city that had successfully launched Art Prize, a crowdfunding event that generated millions for the city and large cash prizes for its winners.

That was an idea they thought they could replicate here. The goal was for Jacksonville to

© 2013

The teepee Wood’s brother made, on the front lawn of his home.

APRIL 2-8, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13

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be appreciated, known for and supportive of its creative community. They knew it would be a tough sell, but Wood built a rapport with city officials, and he’s a good salesman.

“That’s not something that everybody can do,” Coleman says. “We were presenting a progressive idea that was on the cutting edge.

Many of the ideas that are part of The Epic Project are Wayne’s. We met with [One Spark co-founder] Elton Rivas. He said he had wanted to do statewide contests that ended in Jacksonville. Participants would present start-up business ideas, and the winners would get prizes through votes. We asked Elton to get involved.”

Wood says it’s not important to have his name attached to every project he supports or spearheads, and insists he doesn’t want credit for One Spark. Epic’s early goal, he says, was to “make it about creativity. We worked it very hard for six months. The goal was to raise $1 million. We got to about $300,000 and were stuck. In order to take it to the next level and engage some big investors, we needed more funding. We encouraged Elton Rivas to take over. He was able to succeed where we failed.”

Vince Cavin, director of operations and finance at One Spark (and a Friends of Hemming Park board member), recalls being asked by Rivas to go to Wood’s house and “get his blessing” for One Spark.

“I sat in his parlor with Victorian chairs, like a meeting with a diplomat,” he remembers.

He was surprised and somewhat relieved to be greeted by Wood, who was wearing shorts and a Grateful Dead T-shirt.

Rivas’ LinkedIn page lists his title as “Co-Founder & Humble Leader” of One Spark and describes the festival as being “created in 2011 by three friends who wanted to connect ideas with resources.”

“Wayne had every reason in the world to be upset with Elton and his crew because they never gave him any credit,” Coleman says.

“They’ve always said the idea was all theirs, but that is really not true. The One Spark deal was a project Elton created largely to inspire start-up businesses in Jacksonville, because that’s his business. Wayne never got upset — or if he did, he kept it to himself. Even though we were asked not to do anything with One Spark, because the One Spark crew wanted it to be their project and we understood that, Wayne still got involved and did a lot of the stuff that made One Spark good.”

When I asked Rivas about this, he replied that he isn’t sure if Wood is due credit or not, but he doesn’t think that people like Wood and Coleman do things to get credit. Until two years ago, he adds, he and Wood had never crossed paths. In Rivas’ account, One Spark and Epic were two projects that evolved at the same time and “converged.”

Passing the baton, Wood tells me with a grin, freed him up to participate as a creator. He approached the largest venue (the Jacksonville Public Library) about hosting his project, Creative Community, his photo wall).

He donated his winnings to RAM.

CHAPTER VI: “The Biggest Thing I’ve Ever Done”

It’s February, two months since Friends of Hemming Park bid on the city’s planned renovation of that space.

The bid’s price tag is high — more than $4 million over five years, of which about $2.2 million will come from the city — the result of decades of neglect and poor decisions that have made the plaza a black hole Downtown.

Wood’s goal isn’t to gentrify — to simply run out the scores of homeless who populate the park. “We don’t want to tread on anyone’s right 14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 2-8, 2014

to be there,” he says. “Our mission is not to eradicate the rights of those who want to hang out in the park.”

Instead, his plan includes a social worker to help deal with the homeless, and he thinks the more disruptive elements will diminish as the park becomes a hub of activity. To that end, Friends plans to create lush landscapes and offer engaging events with food, entertainment and security year-round. Whether the city bites on his bid to oversee the park’s larger restoration remains to be seen. (Given the pedigrees of Friends’ board of directors — Wood, Cavin, Terry Lorince of Downtown Vision Inc., Diane Brunet-Garcia of the Cultural Council, Bill Prescott of Heritage Capital Group — it certainly seems plausible.)

“We won’t know for a while if it will work,” Wood says. “If it does, though, it will be the biggest thing I’ve ever done.”

Allegretti cites Wood’s success founding Riverside Arts Market — navigating 17 years and countless state and city agencies — as evidence that he can get the job done. “Right now, Hemming is just a weird complex puzzle

The goal of The Epic Project was for Jacksonville to be appreciated, known for and supportive of its creative community. where, like, half the pieces are squared-off jagged edges and half are rounded,” he says.

“It needs a master programmer. It needs an architect of what it is going to be. Wayne is perfect for that.”

If RAM is able to generate substantial revenue as a weekly event, Allegretti adds, there’s even greater potential for Hemming Plaza. “It’s pro-art, pro-quality of life,” he says of the Friends’ plan. “It’s an idea that most people can get with. I’m very bullish that he’ll be able to pull it off.”

Late last month, Wells Fargo cut Friends a $35,000 check to landscape and beautify Hemming Park ahead of One Spark. On March 22, Wood and some 150 volunteers, including Mayor Alvin Brown, in collaboration with several local organizations and backed by bands and corporate sponsors, descended on Downtown to clean up the park, part of what Wood considers a demonstration of the community’s hunger for revitalization.

“If we can do that in one weekend,” he says, “imagine what is possible with a year of work.”

CHAPTER VII: Mr. Jacksonville

Abigail Wright, a 28-year-old Downtown advocate (and Folio Weekly contributor), first met Wood last July at a speech atop the JEA building. She was immediately engaged and inspired by his message about the urban core’s

renaissance and the young heart of Hemming Park. Today she considers him a mentor.

“Wayne’s inspirational to my generation,” she says. “What he wants to leave behind isn’t tangible. It’s just inspiration.”

Wood suggested that Wright take part in our interview. He notes that she calls him “Mr. Jacksonville,” though he says he’s not comfortable with the title.

“Yes, Wayne is transparent, it’s true, when he wants something,” Wright says with a laugh. She says that nickname isn’t her doing, but rather something she read in a long-ago article about him. She assumed that’s what people call him, so she did, too.

Although he’s seemingly on the forefront of just about everything, Wright says, “I call him ‘the man behind the curtain.’ He is behind so many projects, but lets you think you are doing it. He doesn’t claim credit for that. He lets you think you did it yourself. He’s a backseat driver, not in a bad way.”

“I want to spread creative DNA,” Wood says. “There’s a whole new generation of leaders coming up of energetic and inspiring people aiming to change the city in ways that some of us did back in the ’70s and ’80s. To give them encouragement and inspiration is a project in itself.”

CHAPTER VIII: “That Dude Is Just Crazy”

March 2014. Florida State College at Jacksonville’s Kent Campus.

Spring has sprung. The sun pours in through the large floor-to-ceiling windows.

My presentation today, on a rock opera that examines the lives of the Timucua, French and Spanish at Fort Caroline 450 years ago, is going well. No one is asleep. The audience is made up

of dozens of college students.

I’m surprised to see the Arts Agitator among them.

With considerably more than a generation between him and the audience, you’d think he’d stick out. He doesn’t. He’s at home.

He’s refreshed, engaged and alert. There’s something new. He looks younger these days, as do his collaborators, escorts and friends.

He’s rejuvenated. His pale blue jeans and the morning sun are reflected in his sparkling eyes.

He busily snaps pictures throughout the presentation. Afterward, I ask if we can talk a little more for this story. He agrees, but clearly he’s busy. He has another meeting. I offer to work around his “little plans” for the weekend.

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly call her a little plan,” he says. There’s a gleam in his smile. And with that, he takes my photo. He’s turned the interviewer into the interviewee.

“This will be on the cover,” he says. “I don’t know what cover, but probably the cover of something.”

He’s still waiting on the city’s final answer for the Hemming Plaza proposal, he tells me. “I just want to make things happen.

Jacksonville has been very good to me, and I want to pay back. I just like making stuff.”

With that, he disappears into the morning sun — off to the next thing, whatever that is.

“Wayne’s not the type to be at the pub at 5,” Allegretti says. “He’s working on projects.

If Wayne’s not in action, he’s in traction. I hope one day that I’ll have accomplished in my lifetime what Wayne accomplished in one decade. ’Cause that dude is just crazy. I mean, he’s just killing it.” mail@folioweekly.com

Jennifer Chase is a playwright and musician, and a professor at FSCJ.

APRIL 2-8, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15

SCAN THIS PAGE WITH LAYAR TO VIEW MORE FROM THIS WEEK’S PICKS

Our Picks Reasons to leave the house this week

SWAMP RADIO HOW’S YA MAMA AND THEM

Don’t think Jacksonville’s historical, cultural and arts scene is rich and full? Then you haven’t been to Swamp Radio. This tribute to dear old Mama features Southern alt-bluegrass trio Grandpa’s Cough Medicine, The WillowWacks and Irish storyteller Derek Coghlan, celebrating what it means to be a mama on the First Coast. Yes, you can catch the podcast later or wait to see if WJCT 89.9 FM streams it, but there’s nothing like seeing the dynamic show in person. The Jacksonville Historical Society’s Emily Lisska, The Retread Players and poet Tiffany Melanson will speak to your Jacksonville soul. 3 p.m. April 6, Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts, Downtown, $22.50-$30.

THEATER THE COLOR PURPLE

Alice Walker said her novel “is not about fighting or abusing,” but about the pursuit of living. For the first time in its 48-year history, Alhambra Theatre & Dining presents the inspiring story of a meek, ill-treated woman finally gaining independence from her worthless husband. Walker’s book, made into a film by Steven Spielberg, won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction in 1983, and the Broadway staging of the story earned 11 Tony nominations. March 26-April 27 with shows at 8 p.m., matinees at 1:15 p.m.

Saturday and 2 p.m. Sunday, Alhambra Theatre & Dining, Southside, $38-$55.

BLUES FEST SPRINGING THE BLUES

Swamp rock, Motown, boogie and a laundry list of other genres all sizzled out from old mamma blues, and they’re all hoppin’ back into the mix for the 24th annual Springing the Blues festival. The fest has pinched some of the best talent from last year: the Selwyn Birchwood Band’s brand of stripped-down, scorching guitar riffs and sax just secured it a record deal. Victor Wainwright, a 2013 Blues Music Award winner, lifts a rich, deep voice over his emotive piano playing. Artists perform on the main stage and on the smaller, more intimate Blues Lounge Stage, each offering a different listening experience.

5 p.m. April 4, noon April 5 and 6 at SeaWalk Plaza, Jacksonville Beach, free for general public, premium seating $10-$50.

PEANUTS AND CRACKERJACKS JACKSONVILLE SUNS

If you haven’t had that “Baseball’s Never Hotter with the Jacksonville Suns!” jingle drilled into your brain, you can’t really consider yourself a Northeast Floridian. The Suns are back, opening the season at home against the Huntsville Stars.

And of course they’ll have all those crazy Minor League promotions we love. (If you’re waiting for the first Fifty-Cent Family Feast, it’s April 22. The 2014 inaugural Thursday Night Throwdown? That’s April 24.) Opening series April 3-7, Bragan Field at the Baseball Grounds of Jacksonville, Downtown, $15.

MUSIC FEST 19TH ANNUAL RHYTHM & RIBS

Enjoy good music the right way, with barbecue grit and tattered red meat on your hands and face and (if you’re having a real good time) body, in the Florida sunshine. Nineties one-hit wonders Sister Hazel (“It’s hard to say what it is I see in you …”) kick off the three-day event, and three-time Grammy winner Delbert McClinton plays his ’80s honkytonk dance jams. Amid the tuneage (Wobbly Toms, XHale, more!), six nationally recognized barbecue pitmaster champs duke it out over smoky grills for the coveted Best Ribs, Best Sauce and People’s Choice awards. 4-10 p.m. April 4, 11 a.m.-10 p.m. April 5, 11 a.m.-6 p.m. April 6, Francis Field, St. Augustine, $5 adults.

16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 2-8, 2014

RAW AND UNCUT BLOODSHOT BILL

Swarthy one-man band Bloodshot Bill attacks a hollow-body guitar while stomping a bass drum with one foot and a hi-hat cymbal with the other. He spits, convulses and flings grease from his hair while careening vocally from an Elvis croon to percussive yodel to guttural growl … while wearing silk pajamas. Watching the Canadian rock ’n’ roll primitivist set a stage ablaze is frightening and titillating enough to convert the most skeptical skeptic. And digging through his prodigious discography turns up so many shit-hot collaborations, scratchy 7-inch one-offs and obscure covers to satisfy the stuffiest music purist. 8 p.m. April 9 at Nobby’s, St. Augustine, $8.

APRIL 2-8, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17

A&E // MUSIC

AKrishna LOVE SUPREME Das, world-renowned master of the kirtan who eschewed rock stardom for spirituality, merges Eastern and Western musical traditions

K

18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 2-8, 2014

rishna Das — KD to his fans — is an acknowledged master of the kirtan (“praise” or “eulogy” in Sanskrit), a calland-response chanting performance style that originated centuries ago in India. During the kirtan, KD leads the audience in chants and hymns ranging from Hindu-derived “Om Namah Shivaya” to gospel standard “Jesus on the Main Line.” These kirtans begin in a contemplative manner, building up to a state of collective bliss as the audience sings along, dances and helps propel this highly energized form of worship.

This Friday, the world-renowned vocalist brings his blend of music and mysticism to Northeast Florida when he performs with tabla player Arjuna Bruggeman and electric bassist Mark Gorman at the Karpeles.

KD’s approach to choosing songs for each kirtan is essentially unplanned. “I’ve been doing this for so long, it’s like this long wave that just keeps changing gradually. New chants replace older chants, older chants come back at some point; there’s no real thought behind it.

Basically, I’m just a selfish guy and I sing what I want in the moment,” he laughs. Although kirtans are spiritually based, KD shrugs off aligning himself with a specific tradition: “When I sing, I’m not singing as a Hindu to the heathens. I just happen to sing these chants because that is where I woke up.”

His spiritual awakening did not begin on a joyous note, however. Born Jeffrey Kagel in 1947 on Long Island, as a youth he displayed an aptitude for music and by his teens, the bluesloving Kagel was performing in folk clubs.

Kagel’s musical prowess was tempered with an guru was initially reluctant to deal with the equally marked tendency toward restlessness increasing flux of American youths — and and depression. As the Vietnam War escalated, celebrities — making a pilgrimage to meet him, Kagel’s internal conflicts intensified. In his due in large part to Ram Dass’ unsolicited, late teens, he underwent psychiatric care and albeit sincere, publicity campaign. Many of was prescribed antidepressants. After twice these young seekers were drawn to Maharajdropping out of college, Kagel was drafted, ji because of dissatisfactions with their but his mental health status exempted him Judeo-Christian heritage. One of Maharaj-ji’s from combat. In his 2010 memoir, Chants of a first suggestions to this eager flock was to Lifetime, he describes how his ongoing anguish read the Gospels. When one baffled seeker was the key that unlocked his spiritual search. asked Maharaj-ji how they should practice “I think suffering is a requirement to wake meditation, he responded, “Meditate like up spiritually,” he says. “We are pretty dull in Christ. He lost himself in love.”

In conversation, KD’s voice softens when terms of how much pain we have to endure recalling this teaching. “That is still one of the until we begin to recognize, or even hope, that most powerful moments there might be another of my life,” he says. way to live.”

Kagel adopted the name In his early 20s, KRISHNA DAS Krishna Das and began Kagel drifted aimlessly, 8 p.m. April 4, Karpeles chanting as a form of living alone in a rural Manuscript Library Museum, Bhakti yoga, the Hindu farmhouse and working Springfield. Advance tickets $30 path to God fueled by as a school bus driver. In (krishnadas.com), sheer devotion. After two the spring of 1969, Kagel $40 day of show (cash only), 514-0097 and a half years in India, met Ram Dass, who’d KD returned to the States. recently returned to New In 1973, Maharaj-ji Hampshire from India. passed away. In the aftershock of his guru’s While over there, Ram Dass had met the man death, KD strayed from spirituality, and the he accepted as his guru: Neem Karoli Baba, specter of depression returned. He tried to known to his followers as Maharaj-ji. During quell this pain by freebasing cocaine, nearly this same period, Kagel was invited to sing for destroying himself in the process of addiction. the band Soft White Underbelly, which would later morph into Blue Öyster Cult. But Kagel Realizing he’d need to return to his spiritual turned his back on possible rock stardom to practice if he wanted to survive, KD kicked his follow Ram Dass’ lead. In 1970, he traveled to coke habit and surrendered fully to chanting.

India to meet Maharaj-ji.

In the years since, KD has devoted himself to Once he arrived at the storied guru’s songs that vow eternal love to God’s myriad ashram, Kagel was overwhelmed by the love forms. that seemed to emanate from Maharaj-ji. The KD still regularly struggles with faith. “First,

I bitch and moan. Loudly,” he says with a laugh.

“Yet there are all kinds of spiritual practices you can do in those moments — and most of the time they don’t work! But just the effort to do these practices when you are fucked up in the head is an extraordinarily powerful act. You are recognizing that you are not that state of mind, while making a very strong karmic call-toaction at that moment.”

The now-66-year-old musician has been leading kirtans for more than two decades, and has achieved a level of success that has made him the Mick Jagger of Lord Rama. He’s sold more than 300,000 albums and enjoys a fan base of spiritual seekers and secular listeners alike. Last year alone, he was the subject of a documentary, his 2012 release Live Ananda received a Grammy nomination for Best New Age Album, and he performed at the awards show, a historic first for any kirtan artist. His latest album, Kirtan Wallah, continues his merging of Eastern and Western musical spirits.

In the decades since Jeffrey Kagel became Krishna Das, America has increasingly embraced Eastern-born concepts like karma, meditation, yoga and vegetarianism. While KD doesn’t claim to hold sage-like wisdom, he does offer this theory as to why more Westerners are seeking fulfilment at meditation halls rather than strip malls: “We are brought up in a culture that is completely materialistic. We are taught to gather as much shit together as you can, have as much pleasure as possible, avoid as much pain as possible, and when you’re dead, you’re dead.

And that’s a very small piece of the pie.”

Daniel A. Brown mail@folioweekly.com

A&E // MUSIC

Photo: Todd Wolfson

SOUL SURVIVOR ‘Cosmic Cowboy’ Ray Wylie Hubbard, off the sauce and focused on the craft of songwriting, delivers a dose of gutbucket gospel

R

ay Wylie Hubbard is standing at the counter to Merle Haggard’s famous 1969 crossroads once again, but after fourhippie-bashing chart-topper. “I wrote that plus decades of highs and lows, this is as an anti-‘Okie from Muskogee’ because we familiar terrain for the acclaimed singerwere a bunch of country hippies,” he says. guitarist. He’s been blessed (or cursed) with “Then Jerry Jeff Walker recorded it and all the respected-yet-non-lucrative position of of the rednecks started singing along. I don’t being “a songwriter’s songwriter,” but finally, know if it backfired or what.” his career is enjoying some much-deserved Hubbard released a handful of albums in exposure. Hubbard’s latest release, The Grifter’s the years that followed, but was distracted Hymnal, is a strong bluesy affair that keeps the by the field research onstage in beer-soaked tradition of showcasing Hubbard’s skill fusing roadhouses and even shadier places offstage. raunchy riffs with potent lyrics.

His musical output hit a wall. In the mid-’80s, While Hubbard is often considered a he decided to close up the honky-tonk for country artist, The Grifter’s Hymnal reinforces good: “I had all the fun I could stand, so when his blues roots. On tunes like “Coricidin I was 41, I got clean and sober.”

Bottle” and “Ask God,” his band slithers along While other artists reinvent themselves with a production style that crackles with a with a new ad campaign, Hubbard live feel. “You listen to those underwent a more deliberate old Slim Harpo records and transformation. “I made a part of the magic is hearing conscious effort to become RAY WYLIE HUBBARD that 60-cycle hum on the a better songwriter,” he says. and THE 77DS song,” says Hubbard.

For the next four years, he 8 p.m. April 12, Jack Rabbits, Born in 1946 in Soper, took lessons to decipher guitar 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, Okla., Hubbard eventually fingerpicking, studied the $15, 398-7496, jaxlive.com moved with his family to arcane math of music royalties Dallas, where the developing and deepened his love of the folkie met fellow songwriter written word.

Michael Martin Murphey. There Hubbard was Always a voracious reader, in conversation soon introduced to the electric blues, guys Hubbard makes passing references to like Lightnin’ Hopkins, Muddy Waters and comparative religions, philosophy, Joseph Freddie King.

Campbell, James Allen’s As a Man Thinketh, In 1966, Hubbard enrolled at the University and one of his greatest influences, Rainer Maria Rilke. Unsurprisingly, Hubbard has of North Texas, where he majored in English. earned more than one follower from the “I lasted nine hours,” Hubbard laughs. He literary world. Pulitzer Prize-winner John ended up in New Mexico and became “a Sanford is a fan, and horror master Stephen freewheeling, tumblin’ tumbleweed.”

Hubbard tumbled his way to Austin, where King has name-dropped Hubbard for years.

Hubbard says he’s touched by this he drifted into a scene of longhairs turned praise and sudden attention, but he’s most on by Buck Owens as much as Blue Cheer. appreciative of his casual arrival at this Fellow songwriters like Billie Joe Shaver, Jerry intersection of music, insight and gratitude.

Jeff Walker and Townes Van Zandt greeted “I still feel valid,” he says, “and I have no fear him with open arms and shared his anarchist about writing. And that’s a really great place approach to country music. Collectively, this group became known as the Cosmic Cowboys. for a songwriter to be.”

While hanging in Austin, Hubbard wrote Daniel A. Brown “Up Against the Wall, Redneck Mother,” a mail@folioweekly.com

APRIL 2-8, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19

2014

KIDS DIRECTORY

For 22 years, Folio Weekly has been providing businesses and organizations an opportunity to directly connect with Northeast Florida parents and families in our annual Kids Directory.

From academic camps to sports events, if it’s KID-related, the Folio Weekly Kids Directory has it covered.

PUBLICATION DATE: WEDNESDAY, APRIL 16 INCREASE YOUR CAMPAIGN EFFECTIVENESS Web Display Ad on FolioWeekly.com: $10 per 1,000 impressions Do Jax listing for the Special Edition Channel: $50 Make your ad come alive with interactivity: $50

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Call your Folio Weekly Account Manager or SAM TAYLOR at 904.260.9770 x111 before the April 9 deadline.

Earn Folio Weekly’s largest discount by running your same advertisement in the Ultimate Summer Guide on May 21. Ask your Account Manager or Sam Taylor at 904.260.9770 x111 for more details.

9456 Philips Hwy., Suite 11, Jacksonville, FL 32256 Phone: 904.260.9770 • Fax: 904.260.9773 20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 2-8, 2014

A&E // MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK

STEVE HACKETT 8:30 p.m. April 2 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, $49.50-$69.50, 209-0399.

MOBB DEEP 8 p.m. April 2 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, $22, 353-6067.

TESSERACT, INTRONAUT, CLOUD KICKER 6 p.m. April 2 at Brewster’s Megaplex, 845 University Blvd. N., Arlington, $14, 223-9850.

JESSE COOK 8 p.m. April 3 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, $36-$40, 209-0399.

PEPPINO D'AGOSTINO 7:30 p.m. April 3 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008.

PAUL ANKA 7:30 p.m. April 3 at T-U Center’s Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., Downtown, $48.50-$98.50, 633-6110.

ROADKILL GHOST CHOIR, ANTIQUE ANIMALS 9 p.m. April 3 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, $10, 353-6067.

T. MILLS, MOD SUN 7 p.m. April 3 at Brewster’s Megaplex, 845 University Blvd. N., Arlington, $12, 223-9850.

FISH OUT OF WATER 9 p.m. April 3 at Ragtime Tavern, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877.

SOJA 8 p.m. April 3 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, $23.50-$28.50, 355-2787.

RELIEF IN SLEEP, AMONGST THE FORGOTTEN, ALL THINGS DONE 8 p.m. April 3 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $8, 398-7496.

ROBERT CRAY BAND 8 p.m. April 4 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, $49-$59, 209-0399.

ZACH MYERS (of Shinedown), JUSTIN MOORE (of Ingrim Hill), ELISIUM, JONATHON PRUITT, RAMONA QUIMBY 7 p.m. April 4 at Brewster’s Megaplex, 845 University Blvd.

N., Arlington, $12, 223-9850.

HIPP STREET 8 p.m. April 4 at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, free, 353-1188.

THE MALAH, SPANKALICIOUS, FUTEXTURE, VLAD THE INHALER, BIT DEFF, TRILLUCINATION, LUMAGROVE, DAMBALLA, MATTHEW CONNOR 8 p.m. April 4 at 1904 Music Hall, 19 N. Ocean St., Downtown, $20.

GREYMARKET, MILO, DR SIRBROTHER, LAKE DISNEY 8 p.m.

April 4, Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, $5, 353-4686.

RHYTHM & RIBS: Sister Hazel, Red River Band, Grimes Alley, Elizabeth & the Grapes of Roth, Salt Driven Ride, Toots Lorraine & the Traffic, Emma Moseley Band, Delbert McClinton, Wobbly Toms, Lonesome Bert & The Skinny Lizards, The Lee Boys, The Corbitt Brothers, Clark Hill April 4-6 at Francis Field, 29 W. Castillo Dr., St. Augustine, $5 per day, rhythmandribs.net.

SPRINGING THE BLUES: Parker Urban Band, Brandon Santini, Joanne Shaw Taylor, Selwyn Birchwood April 4 at SeaWalk Plaza, 1 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, free general admission, springingtheblues.com.

RED, DISCIPLE, BENJAH, SPOKEN, A LIFE SET APART 8 p.m. April 4 at Murray Hill Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., Riverside, $15-$20, 388-7807.

BEN TAYLOR, FLAGSHIP ROMANCE 8 p.m. April 4 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $12, 398-7496.

THE DOG APOLLO, OSCAR MIKE, NORTHE 8 p.m. April 4 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, $8, 246-2473.

THE PAUL LUNDGREN BAND 9 p.m. April 4 & 5 at Ragtime Tavern, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877.

GRANDPA'S COUGH MEDICINE 9 p.m. April 4 at Mellow Mushroom, 410 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 826-4040.

SPRINGING THE BLUES: Betty Fox, Woody & the Peckers, Jarekus Singleton, Moreland & Arbuckle, Diedre & Ruff Pro Band, Biscuit Miller & the Mix, Shane Dwight, Victor Wainwright & the WildRoots April 5 at SeaWalk Plaza, 1 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, free general admission, springingtheblues.com.

BOOGIE FREAKS 8 p.m. April 5 at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, free, 353-1188.

ELIZA GILKYSON, GRANT PEEPLES 7:30 p.m. April 5 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, $18, 352-7008.

THOMAS WYNN & THE BELIEVERS, THE IVEY WEST BAND 9 p.m. April 5 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, $8, 353-6067.

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ANIMAL IMPACT: Roadkill Ghost Choir – an indie folk outfit out of Deland – will rock Underbelly on April 3 even though two band members are “simply illusions created from swamp gas.� Local favorites and Folio Weekly cover dudes Antique Animals jumpstart the action.

SLICK RICK 25TH ANNIVERSARY TOUR, IVAN, BIG BUCK$ CREW 8 p.m. April 5 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, $20, 246-2473.

THE ORIGINAL WAILERS 9 p.m. April 5 at The Standard, 200 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, $15-$20, 342-2187.

SUBTERRANEAN, DENVER, TRAP J, FOREST PEYTON 7 p.m.

April 5 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks, San Marco, $10, 398-7496.

ROCKS N’ BLUNTS, DJ LOVELEE, CHRIS FOG, DOX, BOBBY NEWPORT, B3ATBUM 8 p.m. April 5 at 1904 Music Hall, 19 N. Ocean St., Downtown, $5.

FREDDY ROSARIO 7 p.m. April 5 at Murray Hill Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., Riverside, $10, 388-7807.

JESSECAROLE MONTOYA, SWEET SCARLETT, UNF JAZZ ENSEMBLE II April 5 at Riverside Arts Market, 715 Riverside Ave., Riverside, free.

SOUTHEAST BEAST: Wonder Years, The Story So Far, A

Loss for Words, Modern Life is War, A Call for Kylie, Bad Luck, Better Off, Citizen, Engraved, Fireworks, Front Porch Step, Hollow Tides, Hungover, Me & the Trinity, Nine Lives, Modern Baseball, On Guard, Pvris, Pinehurst, Real Friends, Refuge, Reign Supreme, Rescuer, Sack the City, Transcendence, We Still Dream, You Blew It!, Valor, Stick to Your Guns, Ringworm, DYS, Adaliah, Alpha and Omega, Barrier, Bent Life, Carry the Weight, Counterparts, Death Before Dishonor, Evergreen Terrace, Frameworks, From Knights to Kings, Hundredth, Incited, Malfunction, My Ticket Home, Naysayer, Point Blank, Relentless, Remembering Never, Rhythm of Fear, The Rival Within, Thick as Blood, Will to Die April 5 & 6 at Brewster’s Megaplex, 845 University Blvd. N., Arlington, $60, 223-9850.

SPRINGING THE BLUES: Linda Grenville & Friends, John Miller & Baystreet, Mama Blue, Toots Lorraine & the Traffic, Eric Steckel, The Legendary JC’s, The Lee Boys,

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Matt Still’s Sole Tour Vegabonds/London Souls The Movement/The Hip Abduction EARL SWEATSHIRT Charles Bradley & the Extraordinaires Katchafire/Maoli/Jahmen The Faint Mike Pinto/B-Side Players/Ojo De Buey

APRIL 2-8, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 21

THE KNIFE

BLUES AND COCKROACHES

D

angerous thing about the blues: Too many And so goes the entire CD, which is by people play it, and crappily at that. Aside turns mind-numbingly rote and surprisingly from “Smoke on the Water,” blues inventive. Bandleader Mike Bernos is a progressions are the first thing new guitar competent blues guitarist, and wisely takes a students pick up. Indeed, if it weren’t for blues backseat to the band’s other musicians. His (and its bouncier sister, jazz), we wouldn’t have mixing of styles under the blues umbrella rock-and-roll. But that’s no excuse for millions — contemporary pop, New Orleans funk, of people rehashing the same decades-old Springsteeny rock — is smart and subtle. He riffs and pretending they’re breaking new solos infrequently, and when he does, he gives ground. (Or claiming to celebrate the revered just enough to add to the song. Don’t look for a masters of the genre, ’cause most of them pale half-hour blues riffage blowout. It isn’t there. in comparison.)

The album’s standout musicians are bassist Jeremy Gray and keyboardist Cyrus Quaranta.

Go to some blues festivals, and you’ll be Gray plays with the restraint of James Jamerson inundated with the most predictable roster and the flourishes of Jaco. Check out “B-B-B of acts imaginable. The only way to make it Baby” if you think this balance is impossible through is to get wasted on cheap beer, aided by the oppressive summer heat in which many to achieve. His is a fantastic performance, to be sure. For his part, Quaranta gets high marks of these things take place. for slaying the B3. I would love to hear more Since a blues ban is out of the question, of him and less of saxophonist we will continue to enjoy eons Richard Garcia, who must be of one-four-five progressions MONDO MIKE AND THE Bernos’ Clarence Clemons, as until they drop the bomb.

PO BOYS WITH SPICE he’s all over Nine Lives Down.

And likely thereaft er as well.

4 p.m. April 12 This isn’t a slight on Garcia’s The blues is the cockroach of Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., ability. He’s fine, but he’s also modern music.

Downtown, FREE painfully omnipresent.

And that brings us to the 353-6067, underbellylive.com new release by Jacksonville’s Drummer Sam Rodriguez Mondo Mike & the Po Boys. is dead-on, laying down a Nine Lives Down is, at its heart, solid foundation and working a blues album, which, if you haven’t gathered symbiotically with Gray to support the band. by now, doesn’t earn the band a chalk mark The original song “Higher Ground,” maybe the in the This Is Going to Be Freakin’ Awesome best tune on the record, is a perfect example of column. I’m grateful, however, that the record how in sync Rodriguez and Gray work together. isn’t strictly a blues record, so put a mark in The track could easily have been a hit before the the Thank Robert Johnson This Isn’t Strictly days of digital downloads. a Blues Record column.

The real star in the Po Boys isn’t a boy at all.

The opener, “I’m Your Fool,” immediately Wescott’s contribution here cannot be overstated. sets the tone in this regard. First line sung: She’s a singer’s singer, soulful and melodic, powerful and sublime. She lifts each song and “I wake up in the morning with the blues.” makes it her own, as a true vocal stylist should.

Now these are the kinds of lyrics that make me want to gouge out my own eyes. But what A note about the cover art: Points off for begins as a typical blues shuffle is rescued by the guitar with a beret hanging from its horn; a wonderfully melodic chorus from vocalist bonus points for the cute kitty. So, in the end, Brittany Wescott. Wescott is a joy to listen to, that’s a wash. and she makes the less tolerable parts of Nine John E. Citrone Lives Down quite palatable. theknife@folioweekly.com

22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 2-8, 2014

Kim Reteguiz & the Black Cat Bones April 6 at SeaWalk Plaza, 1 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, free, springingtheblues.com.

JOHN THOMAS JAZZ GROUP 4 p.m. April 6, Culhane’s Irish Pub, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595.

ANVIL, PRIMITIVE HARD DRIVE, A NEW DECREE, ALL THINGS DONE 8 p.m. April 6 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $15, 398-7496.

FOX STREET ALLSTARS 9 p.m. April 7 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, $5, 353-6067.

THE REIGN OF KINDO, STEEPWATER BAND, MATTHEW SANTOS 8 p.m. April 7 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $8, 398-7496.

AMOS LEE 8 p.m. April 7 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, $35.50-$49.50, 355-2787.

TANTRIC, SOIL, ROCK N’ ROLL CHROME, WORLD GONE 6 p.m. April 8 at Brewster’s Megaplex, 845 University Blvd.

N., Arlington, $15, 223-9850.

BUFFALO BUFFALO, I ANTHEM 9 p.m. April 8 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, free, 353-6067.

AUTHORITY ZERO, DONALD SPENCE, STATUS FAUX 8 p.m.

April 9, Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $15, 398-7496.

DAVID JACOBS-STRAIN 7:30 p.m. April 9 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

BLACKJACK BILLY April 10, Mavericks at the Landing WANEE MUSIC FESTIVAL: The Allman Brothers Band, Trey Anastasio Band, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Tedeschi Trucks Band, Gov’t Mule, Jaimoe’s Jasssz Band, Umphrey’s McGee, Ziggy Marley, Blues Traveler, Chris Robinson Brotherhood, Hot Tuna Electric, moe., Rusted Root, Ivan Neville’s Dumpstaphunk, Royal Southern Brotherhood, Walter Trout, Rob Garza (Thievery Corporation), Blind Boys of Alabama, Bobby Lee Rodgers, Melvin Seals & JGB, Futurebirds, Matt Schofield, Break Science, Sean Chambers, The Yeti Trio April 10-12, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park

A&E // MUSIC MILO, CONNOR HICKEY, ON GUARD April 10, Burro Bar THE CRAZY DAYSIES April 11, North Beach Bistro THE BLIND BOYS OF ALABAMA April 11, P.V. Concert Hall MIKE EPPS April 11, T-U Center FRAMING HANLEY April 11, Brewster’s Megaplex TAMBOR April 11, Rain Dogs BRYCE ALASTAIR BAND, JUKE, DALTON STANLEY April 11, Jack Rabbits GENERATOR, DEAR ABBY April 11, Freebird Live RAY WYLIE HUBBARD, THE 77Ds April 12, Jack Rabbits WHITE FANG, DENNEY & THE JETS, THE MOLD April 12, Burro Bar CATHEDRAL ARTS PROJECT, SAM PACETTI, FOUR FAMILIES, SCOTT JONES DANCERS April 12, Riverside Arts Market UNIVERSAL GREEN, TOMBOI April 12, Underbelly DOPAPOD, GREENHOUSE LOUNGE April 12, Freebird Live DIERKS BENTLEY, FRANKIE BALLARD, BROTHERS OSBORNE April 12, St. Augustine Amphitheatre OYSTER JAM MUSIC FEST: Split Tone, Be Easy, Michael Jordan, Rawmyst, S.P.O.R.E., Firewater Tent Revival, Beau Knott & the Burners, Mama Blue, Chris Williams, Brent Byrd, Rip Currents, Kia Nicole, Palm Trees & Powerlines April 12-13, Metropolitan Park JON VEZNER April 13, Mudville Music Room THE ZOMBIES April 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MOON TAXI, CHRIS WOODS April 13, Jack Rabbits THE HILLBENDERS, GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE April 13, The Original Café Eleven THE VALLEY ROOTS April 14, Underbelly SONS OF FATHERS April 15, Jack Rabbits LEDISI April 16, The Florida Theatre THE DECORATION April 16, Jack Rabbits LOCAL NATIVES April 17, Freebird Live MITCH KUHMAN BAND April 17, Sangrias GOO GOO DOLLS, RUN RIVER NORTH April 17, P.V. Concert Hall BOGGSIE BRIGADE April 17, Jack Rabbits MEAN MARY April 17, Mudville Music Room MISS MASSIVE SNOWFLAKE April 17, Rain Dogs CONSIDER THE SOURCE April 18, Underbelly TECH N9NE, KRIZZ KALIKO, JARREN BRENTON, PSYCH WARD DRUGGIES, FREDDIE GIBBS April 18, Brewster’s Edge LESS THAN JAKE, SIDEREAL April 18, Jack Rabbits PASSAFIRE, LULLWATER April 18, Freebird Live THE GOOTCH April 18, The Jacksonville Landing WHARF RATZ April 18, Mellow Mushroom St. Augustine CASKEY April 18, Brewster’s DJ KEMIT, ANCIENT CITY April 18, 1904 Music Hall ALL THINGS DONE, 3 KNIGHTS & A ROSE, ANDY JACOBS April 18, Murray Hill Theatre LESS THAN JAKE, GENERAL TSO’S FURY April 19, Jack Rabbits THE RESOLVERS, UNIVERSAL GREEN, THE MESSENGERS April 19, Underbelly BLESSTHEFALL, SILVERSTEIN, THE AMITY AFFLICTION, SECRETS, HEARTIST April 19, Freebird Live DARIUS RUCKER, ELI YOUNG BAND, COREY SMITH April 19, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MEREDITH RAE, THE 77Ds, JOEY KERR April 19, Riverside Arts Market SLAID CLEAVES April 19, Mudville Music Room THE FRITZ, SQUEEDLEPUSS April 19, 1904 Music Hall NATALIE NICOLE GREEN BAND April 19, Jacksonville Landing MISHKA, SARAH BLACKER April 20, Jack Rabbits HUEY MACK, COLLETTE CARR April 21, Jack Rabbits MILLION DOLLAR QUARTET April 22, T-U Center REHAB April 22, Jack Rabbits NEW COKE April 22, Nobby’s TODD SNIDER April 23, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall HURT April 23, Brewster’s Megaplex HUEY MACK April 24, Jack Rabbits VANCE GILBERT April 24, Mudville Music Room GRIZ, MICHAL MENERT April 24, Freebird Live JANA KRAMER April 24, Mavericks at the Landing WHITE CHAPEL, CARNIFEX, WITHIN THE RUINS, CRUEL HAND April 24, Brewster’s Megaplex THE CRAZY DAYSIES April 25, Seven Bridges TAKING BACK SUNDAY, TONIGHT ALIVE, SLEEPWAVE April 25, Freebird Live YANCY CLEGG April 25, Jack Rabbits JACKYL, JESSE DUPREE April 25, Brewster’s KRACKA JAXX April 25, The Jacksonville Landing TEXAS IN JULY, STRUCTURES, ERRA, MYKA, RELOCTE, ELITIST April 26, Atticus Bar LARRY MANGUM April 26, Mudville Music Room DICK DALE April 26, Jack Rabbits WELCOME TO ROCKVILLE: Avenged Sevenfold, The Cult, Motorhead, Volbeat, Chevelle, Alter Bridge, Hellyeah, Adelitas Way, Rev Theory, Butcher Babies, Memphis May Fire, Chiodos, We as Human, Monster Truck, We Came as Romans, Middle Class Rut, Devour the Day April 26, Metropolitan Park LaVILLA SCHOOL OF THE ARTS JAZZ BAND, JULIE DURDEN, CJ FLUHARTY, ERIC BOWDEN April 26, Riverside Arts Market ANTIQUE ANIMALS April 27, Mellow Mushroom Jax Beach SANTANA April 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre SOLE TOUR: Nate Holley, John Earle, Charlie Walker, Odd Rodd, Rachael Warfield, Matt Still April 27, Freebird Live WELCOME TO ROCKVILLE: Korn, Rob Zombie, Five Finger Death Punch, Staind, Seether, Theory of a Deadman, Black Label Society, Black Stone Cherry, Motionless in White, Sick Puppies, Skindred, The Pretty Reckless, Lacuna Coil, Fozzy, Kyng, Nothing More, Twelve Foot Ninja April 27, Metropolitan Park BECCA STEVENS BAND April 27, Underbelly

A&E // MUSIC UNDER THE STREETLAMP, GENTLEMAN’S RULE April 27, The Florida Theatre EASY STAR ALL-STARS, CAS HALEY, BIG HOPE April 28, Freebird Live CHUCK RAGAN & THE CAMARADARIE, JONNY TWO BAGS, BEAU CRUM April 28, Jack Rabbits ROB THOMAS April 29, The Florida Theatre POWERMAN 5000 April 29, Brewster’s Megaplex M. WARD April 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall AER April 30, Jack Rabbits SUWANNEE RIVER JAM: Brantley Gilbert, Montgomery Gentry, The Mavericks, Chris Cagle, Justin Moore, The Charlie Daniels Band, Colt Ford, The Lacs, JJ Lawhorn April 30-May 3, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park JOHN LEGEND April 30, The Florida Theatre AA DUO April 30, The Jacksonville Landing LARRY MANGUM, JIM CARRICK, CHARLEY SIMMONS May 1, Mudville Music Room BEAR HANDS May 1, Jack Rabbits VEGABONDS May 1, Freebird Live THE MOVEMENT, THE HIP ABDUCTION May 2, Freebird Live GAMBLE ROGERS FEST: Rev. Peyton’s Big Damm Band, The Duhks, Pierce Pettis, Gatorbone, Flagship Romance, WillowWacks, Michael Jordan, Cracker the Box, Colton McKenna, Jig to a Milestone May 2-4, St. Augustine DA GUITAR STUDENT RECITAL May 3, Mudville Music Room TREES SETTING FIRES, NOCTURNAL STATE OF MIND May 3, Jack Rabbits BRIT FLOYD May 4, The Florida Theatre AMY GRANT May 4, T-U Center’s Jacoby Symphony Hall REVEREND PEYTON’S BIG DAMM BAND May 4, Jack Rabbits ADRENALINE MOB May 4, Brewster’s Megaplex WILLIE NELSON & FAMILY, ALISON KRAUSS, UNION STATION, JERRY DOUGLAS May 6, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CHARLES BRADLEY & HIS EXTRAORDINAIRES May 6, Freebird Live TURKUAZ May 7, Underbelly KATCHAFIRE, MAOLI May 7, Freebird Live LYME IN THE SOUTH MUSIC FEST: Pat DiNizio (of The Smithereens), Alisa Turner, Gregg Kirk (of Zen Engines) May 7, River City Brewing Company COMBICHRIST May 8, Brewster’s Megaplex THE HEAD AND THE HEART, LOST IN THE TREES May 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE MAIN SQUEEZE May 8, 1904 Music Hall PROPAGANDA May 9, Murray Hill Theatre THE FAINT May 9, Freebird Live THE FAB FOUR May 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall

Mon & Tues: Wed:

Thurs:

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Fri:

BLITZEN TRAPPER May 9, Jack Rabbits I SEE STARS, LIKE MOTHS TO FLAMES, GHOST TOWN, RAZIHEL, MISS FORTUNE May 9, Brewster’s Megaplex PURPLE HATTER’S BALL: Beats Antique, Emancipator Ensemble, New Mastersounds, The Heavy Pets, The Nth Power, DubConscious, Space Capone, Rising Appalachia, Greenhouse Lounge May 9-11, Suwannee Music Park BEGGAR’S RIDE, MARK MANDEVILLE, RAIANNE RICHARDS May 10, Mudville Music Room MARION CRANE, BLEEDING IN STEREO, GHOSTWITCH May 10, Jack Rabbits LETLIVE., ARCHITECTS, GLASS CLOUD, I THE MIGHTY May 10, Brewster’s Megaplex SMELLS LIKE GRUNGE (Nirvana Cover Band) May 10, Burro Bar MIKE PINTO, B-SIDE PLAYERS, OJO DE BUEY May 11, Freebird Live SHAI HULUD May 11, Atticus Bar HOLY WAVE May 12, Nobby’s FALSETTA, DEAR ABBEY May 12, Jack Rabbits THE AQUABATS!, KOO KOO KANGAROO May 13, Freebird Live CONOR OBERST, DAWES May 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall YOU KNEW ME WHEN May 13, Underbelly CHER, CYNDI LAUPER May 14, Veterans Memorial Arena MIKE SHACKELFORD May 14, Mudville Music Room WOODY PINES May 15, Underbelly GLADYS KNIGHT May 16, T-U Center TEGAN & SARA, LUCIOUS, THE COURTNEYS May 16, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CRAFT BEER FEST: Something Distant May 16, Veterans Memorial Arena THE GIPSY KINGS May 16, The Florida Theatre SCREAM OUT LOUD, THE OFFER May 17, Murray Hill Theatre CHRIS BOTTI May 17, The Florida Theatre SUPERSUCKERS May 18, Jack Rabbits THE 1975 May 19, Freebird Live JACK JOHNSON, ALO May 20, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DALE CRICER, DELL SUGGS, BOB PATTERSON May 21, Mudville Music Room STAGES & STEREOS, DARLING PARADE, THE ORPHAN THE POET May 21, Jack Rabbits ANTIQUE ANIMALS May 22, Mellow Mushroom Jax Beach CRANFORD HOLLOW May 22, Jack Rabbits STYX, FOREIGNER, DON FELDER May 23, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JAZZ FEST AFTER DARK: Fusebox Funk, Herd of Watts, Groove Coalition, Heavy Pets, Big Something, Squeedlepuss, Wobbly Toms, Guy & the Yehudas, Goliath

Flores, The Dog Apollo, Rickolus, Civil Brute, Jeremiah Johnson, Arvid Smith, Albert Ayler Commemoration May 23, Underbelly, 1904 Music Hall, Burro Bar, Dive Bar, The Volstead, Karpeles Manuscript Museum JAZZ FEST AFTER DARK: Moon Hooch, SPORE, Lumagrove, Dewars, Four Families, Canary in the Coalmine, The Frontier Needs Heroes, Snake Blood Remedy, Cougar Barrel, The Weighted Hands, Christina Wagner, The Sh-Booms, Mama Blue, Skeleton Bros., Goliath Flores May 24, Underbelly, 1904 Music Hall, Burro Bar, Dive Bar, The Volstead, Karpeles Manuscript Museum JAZZ FEST AFTER DARK: Tambor, Naughty Professor, Noisebender & Joe Yorio, JacksonVegas, Parker Urban Band, Project Improv, Willie Evans Jr., Paten Locke, Patrick Evan, Co-Alition, Universal Green, Whole Wheat Bread, All Night Wolves, Taylor Roberts May 25, Underbelly, 1904 Music Hall, Burro Bar, Dive Bar, The Volstead, Karpeles Manuscript Museum OLD CROW MEDICINE SHOW May 25, St. Augustine Amphitheatre LUCINDA WILLIAMS May 25, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall UH HUH HER May 26, Jack Rabbits STEEZ CLICK, NATHAN RYAN, PHAT J, JJ DAMON, POTENT DA ROCKSTAR, PINKYKILLA, THROWDOWN KID May 28, Brewster’s Pit LADIES WITH LYRICS: Julie Durden, Rebecca Zapen, Brenda David May 30, Mudville Music Room TRAVELIN’ LIGHT, DEE ABOOD May 31, Mudville Music Room CHICAGO May 31, Metropolitan Park U2 BY UV May 31, Freebird Live WEEZER June 6, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS, WATER LIARS June 6, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall GRIM ZIPPER TOUR: Scum, Dmize, Statik of Rx June 6, Brewster’s Megaplex APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION (Guns N’ Roses tribute), RED & WHITE CRUE (MÜtley Crße tribute), Poison’d June 6, Freebird Live LARRY MANGUM, MIKE SHACKELFORD, JAMIE DEFRATES June 7, Mudville Music Room BOSTON June 7, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CHRISTOPHER CROSS June 7, Metropolitan Park G-MAYN-FROST, ASKMEIFICARE, XXII, LEGIT, INFAMOUS June 10, Freebird Live FLORIDA COUNTRY SUPERFEST: Luke Bryan, Jason Aldean, Eric Church, Miranda Lambert, Florida Georgia Line, Little Big Town, Big & Rich, Easton Corbin, Colt Ford, Joe Nichols June 14-15, EverBank Field

Karaoke Jam Nite / Open Mic Heavy Hitters Club Host Band Synrgy Featuring Rocco Marshall, Derek Hess, Clinton Carver, Rick “Hurricane� Johnson and other special guests. That means you.

8:30 pm Karaoke Home of the Most Talented Wait Staff Show begins 9pm till close

GRAND OPENING AT JACKSONVILLE BEACH ON THE FIRST WEEKEND OF APRIL 320 First St. N., Jax Beach, FL. 32250

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WEDNESDAY Billy Bowers

THURSDAY Fish Out of H2O

FRIDAY & SATURDAY The Paul Lundgren Band

SUNDAY Bread & Butter Atlantic Blvd. at the Ocean "UMBOUJD #FBDI r

APRIL 2-8, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23

AMB, PRAY, RAZORZ EDGE June 14, Brewster’s Roc Bar SHAUN PEACE BAND June 14, Jack Rabbits ROD MacDONALD June 14, Mudville Music Room COUNTING CROWS, TOAD THE WET SPROCKET June 14, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THE ROUGH & TUMBLE June 17, Burro Bar GYPSY STAR, REBECCA ZAPEN June 19, Mudville Music Room GOO GOO DOLLS, DAUGHTRY, PLAIN WHITE T’S June 19, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MERCYGIRL, WHOSOEVER SOUTH June 21, Murray Hill Theatre ANDY KING’S SUMMER SOLSTICE SOIREE June 21, Mudville Music Room CRANFORD HOLLOW June 25, Jack Rabbits SUMMER HORNS: Dave Koz, Mindi Abair, Gerald Albright, Richard Elliot June 26, The Florida Theatre JIM CARRICK, MAJA GIATANA June 26, Mudville Music Room REBELUTION, IRATION, THE GREEN, STICK FIGURE, DJ MACKLE June 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre SOSOS June 28, Jack Rabbits LEGIT, G MAYN FROST, ASKMEIFICARE, ALCATRAZ, PINKYKILLA, SYLENT VYLENTZ July 12, Freebird Live DAVE MATTHEWS BAND July 15, Veterans Memorial Arena RAY LAMONTAGNE, JENNY LEWIS, THE BELLE BRIGADE July 15, The Florida Theatre JEREMY MESSERSMITH July 18, Jack Rabbits CULTURAL PROFETICA June 25, Freebird Live FALL OUT BOY, NEW POLITICS July 27, St. Aug. Amphitheatre GAVIN DEGRAW, MATT NATHANSON July 31, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ULTIMATE ELVIS BASH Aug. 9, The Florida Theatre PANIC! AT THE DISCO, WALK THE MOON, YOUNGBLOOD HAWKE Aug. 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CONNECTION FESTIVAL: Kermit Ruffins & the BBQ Swingers, Less Than Jake, Surfer Blood, Whole Wheat Bread, Treme Brass Band, Orquestra el Macabeo, La Quilombera, This Frontier Needs Heroes, Jackie Stranger, Weekend Atlas, Northe, Ego Killer, Jah Elect & the I Quality Band, Universal Green, Orange Air, Alexis Rhode, Ryvls, Professor Kilmure, Ruffians, The Gootch, AskMeIfICare, Dirty Automatic, Woven In, Garrett on Acoustic, Tom Bennett Band, Mondo Mike & the Po Boys, Artilect, Oscar Mike, Kana Kiehm, Parker Urban Band, Knock for Six, Never Ending Struggle Sept. 12-14, Downtown Jacksonville 1964: THE TRIBUTE Sept. 13, The Florida Theatre MOTLEY CRUE, ALICE COOPER Oct. 19, Veterans Memorial Arena

CLUBS AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

DAVID’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, 802 Ash St., 310-6049 John Springer every Tue.-Wed. Aaron Bing every Fri. & Sat. DOG STAR TAVERN, 10 N. Second St., 277-8010 Working Class Stiff 9:30 p.m. every Tue. PALACE SALOON, 117 Centre St., 491-3332 Schnockered 9:30 p.m. April 6. Buck Smith every Tue. THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 491-8999 Brent Byrd 6 p.m. April 4. DJ Roc every Wed. Honey Badgers every Sat.

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

BREWSTER’S MEGAPLEX, 845 University Blvd. N., 223-9850 Tesseract, Intronaut, Cloud Kicker 6 p.m. April 2. T. Mills, Mod Sun April 3. Zach Myers, Justin Moore, Jonathon Pruitt April 4.

Southeast Beast: Stick to Your Guns, Ringworm, DYS, Adaliah, Alpha & Omega, Barrier, Bent Life, Carry the Weight, Discourse, Death Before Dishonor, Evergreen Terrace, From Knights to Kings, My Ticket Home, Point Blank, Remembering Never, Rhythm of Fear, Rival Within, Thick as Blood, Will to Die April 6.

Wonder Years, The Story So Far, Modern Life is War, A Call for Kylie, A Loss for Words, Bad Luck, Better Off, Front Porch Step, Hollow Tides, Me & the Trinity, Modern Baseball, Nine Lives, On Guard, Real Friends, Reign Supreme, Sack the City, We Still Dream, You Blew It! April 5. Tantric, World Gone April 8 MVP’S SPORTS GRILLE, 12777 Atlantic Blvd., 221-1090 Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

CASBAH CAFE, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave., 387-3582 DJ Keith every Tue. DJ Free every Fri. DJ SuZi-Rok every Mon. MOJO NO. 4, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670 Toots Lorraine & the Traffic 10 p.m. April 18

BEACHES

(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted) 200 FIRST STREET, Courtyard, Neptune Beach, 249-2922 Live music April 4 & 5 CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 John Thomas Group 4 p.m. (Senior Life Foundation fundraiser) April 6. Irish music every Sun. FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 Red Beard & Stinky E 10 p.m. every Thur. Darren Corlew every Sun. FLY’S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 E. Sailfish Dr., Atlantic Beach, 246-4293 Wes Cobb every Thur. Charlie Walker Mon. FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 The Dog Apollo, Oscar Mike, Northe April 4. Slick Rick 25th Anniversary Tour, Ivan & the Big Buck$ Crew April 5.

ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR, 108 First St., Neptune Beach, 372-0943 Brady Reich April 4. Mark O’Quinn April 5 LANDSHARK CAFE, 1728 Third St. N., 246-6024 Open mic every Wed. Matt Still every Thur.

LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Live music 10 p.m. April 4 & 5. Be Easy Mon. Split Tone every Thur.

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., 246-1500 Ryan Crary & D-Lo Thompson April 2. Firewater Tent Revival April 3. Orange Juice April 5 MEZZA, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573 Neil Dixon every Tue. Mike Shackelford every Thur.

MOJO KITCHEN, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636 Shane Dwight 9 p.m. April 4 & 5 NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE, 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300 Cloud 9 April 2. Pili Pili April 3. Live music Wed.-Sun. NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 Neil Dixon April 4. Sidetrack April 5 PIER CANTINA, 412 N. First St., 246-6454 Ryan Campbell & Charlie Walker every Fri. Split Tone every Sun. RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 Billy Bowers April 2. Fish Out of Water April 3. Paul Lundgren Band 9 p.m. April 4 & 5. Bread & Butter April 6 SHIM SHAM ROOM, 333 First St. N., Ste. 150, 372-0781 The Snacks Blues Band 8 p.m. April 8 WIPEOUTS GRILL, 1589 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 247-4508 Jaxx or Better 7 p.m. April 3

DOWNTOWN

24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 2-8, 2014

1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. The Malah, Futexture, Spankalicious, Bit Deff, Trillucination, Lumagrove, Damballa, Matthew Connor April 4. Rocks N’ Blunts, DJ Lovelee, Chris Fog, Dox, Bobby Newport, B3atbum April 5 BURRO BAR, 100 E. Adams St., 677-2977 Greymarket, Milo, Dr. Sirbrother, Lake Disney April 4 DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 DJ NickFresh 9 p.m. every Sat. FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247 Braxton Adamson 5 p.m., live music 8:30 p.m. April 4 JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Suns Kick-Off: Kracka Jaxx 5-9 p.m. April 2. Hipp Street 8 p.m.-1 a.m. April 4. Boogie Freaks 8 p.m.-1 a.m. April 5.

Radio 80 April 6. One Spark Main Music Stage April 9-13 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Roy Luis Wed. DJ Vinn Thur. DJ 007 every Fri. Bay Street every Sat. MAVERICKS, Jax Landing, 2 Independent Dr., 356-1110 Blackjack Billy 6 p.m. April 10. Joe Buck, Big Tasty Thur.-Sat. UNDERBELLY, 113 E. Bay St., 353-6067 Mobb Deep 8 p.m.

April 2. Roadkill Ghost Tour, Antique Animals April 3. Thomas Wynn & the Believers, The Ivey West Band April 5. Doug Stanhope April 6. Fox Street Allstars April 7. Buffalo, Buffalo, I Anthem April 8

FLEMING ISLAND

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999 Live music Fri. & Sat. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Mojo Roux 9:30 p.m. April 4 & 5. Open mic 9 p.m. every Thur. Deck music 5 p.m. Fri. & Sat., 4:30 p.m. Sun. DJ BG every Mon.

INTRACOASTAL WEST

CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 Big Baby Live 8 p.m. April 2. Big Engine April 4 & 5 SALSA’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 13500 Beach Blvd., 992-8402 Live guitar music 6-9 p.m. every Tue. & Sat.

MANDARIN, JULINGTON

HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine, 880-3040 Open mic: Synergy 8 p.m. every Wed. Dennis Klee & the World’s Most Talented Waitstaff 9 p.m. every Fri. MONKEY’S UNCLE, 10503 San Jose Blvd., 260-1349 Chrome Heart 8 p.m. April 3

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells, 272-5959 John Michael Wed.-Sat. PREVATT’S SPORTS BAR, 2620 Blanding Blvd., 282-1564 DJ Tammy 9 p.m. every Wed. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Live music every Thur.-Sat.

PONTE VEDRA, PALM VALLEY

ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR, 820 A1A N., 834-2492 Paul Miller April 4. Lance Neely April 5 PUSSER’S GRILLE, 816 A1A N., 280-7766 The Crazy Daysies 6 p.m. April 3. Live music every Fri. & Sat. SoundStage Sun. TABLE 1, 330 A1A N., Ste. 208, 280-5515 The Rubies 7:30 p.m. April 4. Ben Haley April 5. Quimby Duo April 9

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

KICKBACKS, 910 King St., 388-9551 Ray & Taylor 8:30 p.m. every Thur. Robby Shenk every Sun. MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., 388-7807 Red, Disciple, Benjah, Spoken, A Life Set Apart, Josh Howell April 4. Freddy Rosario April 5. The Glorious Unseen April 6.

Propaganda, Kidd Swift April 9 RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 Jessecarole Montoya, Sweet Scarlett, UNF Jazz Ensemble II 10:30 a.m. April 5

ST. AUGUSTINE

ANN O’MALLEY’S, 23 Orange St., 825-4040 Doug McRae April 2. Circus Mutt April 4. Irish Echoes April 5. Smokin’ Joe open mic April 8 CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 The Committee April 4 & 5. Vinny Jacobs 2-5 p.m. April 6 HARRY’S SEAFOOD, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765 Billy Bowers 6 p.m. April 9 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040 Grandpa’s Cough Medicine at 9 p.m. April 4 MILL TOP TAVERN & LISTENING ROOM, 19 1/2 St. George St., 829-2329 Go Get Gone 9 p.m. April 4 & 5. Brent Byrd April 6. Live music every Fri.-Sun. THE STANDARD, 200 Anastasia Blvd., 342-2187 The Original Wailers 9 p.m. April 5 SANGRIA’S, 35 Hypolita St., 827-1947 Mitch Kuhman 8:30 p.m. April 4 TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Matanzas Sun.-Thur. Elizabeth Roth Sat.

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER

BLACKFINN GRILLE, 4840 Big Island Dr., 345-3466 Live music 5 p.m. every Wed., 9 p.m. every Thur.-Sat. SUITE, 4880 Big Island Dr., 493-9305 Surviving September 8 p.m. April 7. Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Relief In Sleep, Amongst The Forgotten, All Things Done April 3. Ben Taylor, Flagship Romance April 4. Subterranean, Denver, Forest Peyton April 5. Anvil, Primitive Hard Drive, A New Decree, All Things Done April 6. The Reign of Kindo, Steepwater Band, Matthew Santos April 7. Authority Zero, Status Faux April 9 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Peppino D’Agostino 7:30 p.m. April 3. Grant Peeples, Eliza Gilkyson 7:30 p.m. April 5. David Jacobs-Strain 7:30 p.m. April 9

SOUTHSIDE

ISLAND GIRL, 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115, 854-6060 Michael C April 4. Paxton Stark April 5 LATITUDE 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 VJ Didactic at 9 p.m. April 3. Blonde Ambition 9 p.m. April 4 & 5 WILD WING CAFE, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Chris Brinkley April 2. Chilly Rhino April 3. Contraband April 4.

Ghost Radio April 5 WXYZ BAR, 4812 Deer Lake Dr. W., 998-4448 The Crazy Daysies 6 p.m. April 10

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

DAMES POINT MARINA, 4542 Irving Rd., 751-3043 Live music every Fri. & Sat. HWY. 17 ROADHOUSE, 850532 U.S. 17, Yulee, 225-9211 Cupid’s Alley 10 p.m. April 4 & 5. Live music Fri. & Sat. THREE LAYERS COFFEEHOUSE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 Dane Davenport 7 p.m. April 3. Savanna Bassett April 4.

A&E // MOVIES

AVENGING SURVEILLANCE In a plot Edward Snowden would approve of, Captain America wrestles with more than the Winter Soldier CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER ***G Rated PG-13 • Opens April 4

W

ow.

The Avengers movies just get bigger, better, smarter and more relevant with each one. So much so, I might have to start calling this the best genre franchise ever. The series has gone a long way toward dismantling the stereotype that “comic book” automatically equals “stupid and juvenile.” But no Avengers movie stunned me the way Captain America: The Winter Soldier has, with its scathing commentary on what’s happening in the real world today — all wrapped up, to boot, in what is the most delicious, most comic-booky fantasy ever.

And it’s all down to Steve Rogers (Chris Evans). Since we first met him in this Avengers series, he hasn’t had time enough to begin to cope with the personal after-effects of his one-way time travel, via cryonic sleep, from the 1940s to the 2010s, but as Winter Soldier opens, he’s starting to face his disconnect. In one early scene, as Steve makes a new friend, Afghanistan/ Iraq war vet Sam Wilson (Anthony Mackie), we see he’s keeping a list in a little notebook of all the important things he needs to catch up on, things like “Thai food” and “Star Wars/Trek.” It’s sweet, funny and poignant. But Steve’s displacement isn’t only about pop culture. S.H.I.E.L.D. director Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) tells him about a project the organization is about to launch, involving a new fleet of massive helicarriers, high-tech aircraft carriers that float in the atmosphere instead of the ocean, watching over Earth, spy eyes on high. The project was deemed a necessary security move “after New York” (i.e., events in The Avengers).

Steve is horrified. “This isn’t freedom,” he tells Fury. “This is fear.”

This, too, might be sweet, funny and poignant if it were only fantasy, but here we have a guy who’s un-ironically called Captain America, an identity created as a propaganda tool of the U.S. Army during World War II

to promote American ideals, struggling with how those ideals get deployed — or don’t — in the 21st century. There’s tons of wonderful comic-book melodrama involving a potential infiltration of S.H.I.E.L.D. by nefarious forces.

And there’s tons of wonderful comic-book action, of course, including Steve meeting his physical match in the mysterious masked Winter Soldier (Stan Sebastian), who would appear to also be a medically modified supersoldier.

Even the comic-book stuff, though, feels more relevant than usual: The big battle between S.H.I.E.L.D. forces, including Steve, Natasha (Scarlett Johansson), and the Winter Solider and his friends through the streets of Washington, D.C., feels a helluva lot like a lone-gunman-on-a-rampage story lifted directly from 24-hour news channels. Along the way to figuring out what’s happening at S.H.I.E.L.D., Steve confronts the world of his past in a way that folds his story back in on itself — and we confront the world of our past in a way that’s deeply uncomfortable. Steve is, quite literally, a museum piece. We visit, with Steve, the Smithsonian’s National Air and Space Museum exhibit about his extraordinary life — but even with his disconnect in time, is he the only one with his head in the right place when it comes to what the U.S. has been doing to itself in recent decades?

It’s not a spoiler to say that Winter Soldier ends up casting the concept of the modern Western surveillance state as an actual evil plot we’ve all been sold — that fleet of spying helicarriers is but a tiny sliver of it. That level of disapproval for a status quo that a lot of people think is a good thing is absolutely extraordinary in a popcorn movie. Where Winter Soldier goes — let’s just say that Edward Snowden could be on this film’s marketing payroll. It’s that revolutionary.

“This isn’t freedom.

This is fear.”

MaryAnn Johanson mail@folioweekly.com

APRIL 2-8, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25

A&E // MOVIES

UNFUN, UNPLEASANT, UNEROTIC Lars von Trier’s tedious, unenlightening portrayal of hypersexualized women leaves you wondering why you even bothered

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n a cinematic environment in which women were depicted as fully rounded human beings with a wide range of sexual expression available to them without judgment, Lars von Trier’s Nymphomaniac would still be a disgusting, degrading portrait of a terrible person — it is completely unfun, unpleasant, unerotic and unenlightening.

In the cinematic environment that actually exists, it’s a salacious yet tedious portrayal of a woman who would appear to confirm all the nastiest stereotypes about women: that they sexually prey upon and sexually manipulate men purely for the power rush of it, and not because they actually enjoy sex at all. They just put up a façade of being sex-obsessed sluts, for reasons known only to mysterious, unknowable women. What is it with these gals, anyway? If only we could talk to women and ask them ….

I suspect that von Trier believes that Nymphomaniac is him talking to a woman (one invented in his head, but still) and asking her just why she’s just such an awful person. And, sure, you could say that this is just one woman depicted here, Joe (Charlotte Gainsbourg, and Stacy Martin as teen Joe and young woman Joe), and she’s not intended to represent anything other than herself. Fine. But there are still huge problems with this that continue to make me believe that if von Trier loves women (as his defenders say he does), he’s got strange ideas about what love means. It’s certainly not about abuse, cold disregard and pretending to get close while remaining distant.

Hey! Maybe that’s why the great “love” of Joe’s life is supposedly her twisted relationship with the awful Jerome (Shia LaBeouf). Joe’s first encounter with Jerome is the beginning of her sexual odyssey, when she (around the age of 14 or so) asks him

of the things that Seligman is interested in (much older) to take her virginity. Which he from the stuff in his apartment — like flydoes, with a few quick, unromantic thrusts. fishing — and weaves them throughout her Neither seems to get any pleasure out of story. Just as her life has been one long trail this encounter — it’s purely mechanical. She of manipulating men, she’s attempting to certainly experiences pain, which we can tell manipulate Seligman for some reason that’s from the camera up her ass (figuratively) as never clear, except that it probably means she lurches away. we can believe at least some of her story: She And that’s the first hint that this isn’t the manipulates because she can, because she has story of a woman’s sexual life, but the story a vagina and an ass that men cannot resist of a man looking at a woman as a sexual with even the slightest invitation. (As with thing. Certainly, Joe can have no memories most examples of misogyny, men fare as badly of seeing her own ass from a short distance here as women do.) Some of the tales she tells away. This not-Joe’s perspective occurs again Seligman are so mendaciously absurd, they in her story’s next chapter, when she and a cannot be taken seriously. Her religiously girlfriend, both still underage teens, engage ecstatic vision, as a 12-year-old, of the Whore in a contest aboard a commuter train to see of Babylon, accompanied who can screw the most men on the train in the by her first (spontaneous) NYMPHOMANIAC, VOLS. I & II orgasm is one. We can’t trust shortest time. As they sashay along the train corridors Joe, and we can’t believe her.

Not Rated seeking likely targets, there’s Just like a woman?

Vol. I opens April 4; Vol. II opens the camera’s POV again, Four hours of April 18 at Sun-Ray Cinema leering at Joe’s underage ass.

Nymphomaniac — four hours of copulation — and Joe is telling her sexual at the end of it, I don’t life story to Seligman (Stellan know why I bothered. Movie characters Skarsgård). It’s meant to explain why he found don’t have to be likable — Joe surely is not her beaten up and unconscious in an alley — but they should at least be fascinating. near where he lives, and why she dismisses They certainly need to justify a four-hourher condition of beat-into-unconsciousness long movie about themselves. (Despite as “[her] own fault” because she’s “just a bad the Volume 1/Volume 2 crap, this is one human being.” We could take Nymphomaniac long movie, not two distinct ones.) But as not representing von Trier’s perspective but for a story that’s supposed to make us Seligman’s, as if it’s him having all those lustful understand why she is the way she is, she’s visions of Joe being a bad, bad girl. Except as big a mystery at the end as she was at that doesn’t make the situation any better, and the beginning. What are we meant to learn there’s good reason later on, when we learn from this except “Women are weird and more about Seligman, for concluding that this strange and unknowable”? cannot be the case anyway.

As Joe tells her story to Seligman, we can’t Except, you know, we aren’t. even be sure she’s telling anything close to MaryAnn Johanson the truth. Because, just like Kevin Spacey mail@folioweekly.com in The Usual Suspects, she grabs glimpses

A&E // MOVIES

MAGIC LANTERNS

NOT A HOAX

I

n 1994, between making Heavenly Creatures and The Frighteners, Peter Jackson produced, directed and starred in a documentary called Forgotten Silver that detailed the life and contributions of forgotten New Zealand film history pioneer Colin McKenzie. Originally aired on New Zealand television, this “rediscovery” of McKenzie was hailed by some film scholars of that country as a major triumph, until they learned that the whole thing was an elaborate hoax — brilliantly contrived by the future director of The Lord of the Rings, already demonstrating his wizardry with a camera and special effects.

Midway through Room 237, a 2012 documentary about hidden meanings behind and beneath Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining, I felt as if I was watching another mockumentary, wildly entertaining and clever like Forgotten Silver but so utterly preposterous I wasn’t about to be fooled. No one could take these farfetched interpretations seriously.

Boy, was I wrong. Brilliantly written, edited and directed by Rodney Ascher, Room 237 is an absolute must-see for any Kubrick fan and highly recommended for anyone interested in interpretative film theory. Though the movie features a number of truly gonzo “insights” into The Shining by fans who seriously need to get a life, Room 237 itself is a joyous celebration of Kubrick’s art and undeniable importance as an artist and filmmaker.

Without ever resorting to talking heads, the bane of so many documentaries, Ascher explores the wildly divergent interpretations of The Shining by a number of the film’s fans, each of them speaking off-camera to the accompaniment of appropriate scenes from the movie. In fact, during the course of Room 237, Ascher shows clips from just about every single one of Kubrick’s films as well as a wide range of other offerings, everything from Schindler’s List and All the President’s Men to Lamberto Bava’s Demons 2 and An American Werewolf in London. Altogether, in addition to the Kubrick canon, Ascher utilizes clips from more than 30 other films, none of them injudicious or even arbitrary. That one reason alone is why Room 237 is so enjoyable.

Despite his somewhat limited subject, the director illustrates the wide appeal and range of movies in general.

Each of the theorists’ wildly divergent interpretations is conveyed in voice-over, accompanied by appropriate scenes from The Shining and other films. One theorist sees Kubrick’s horror film as an indictment of the genocide of Native Americans; another explains it as the filmmaker’s condemnation of The Holocaust and its horrors. The first opinion is due to the placement of Calumet Baking Powder cans in the hotel kitchen, while the other stems from Jack’s typewriter, which is of German origin. Silly as either might seem, the commentators are quite serious, supporting their theses with other examples.

The same goes for the other interpretations, which include a really bizarre reading focusing on sexual obsession, a hidden apology from Kubrick for staging the faked Apollo moon landings, and a mythological subtext focusing on the Minotaur and the labyrinth. Near the end of Room 237 is perhaps the most contrived viewpoint yet, revealed by superimposing the film running forward and backward over itself at the same time, resulting in some truly provocative images.

Wacky, wonderful and fascinating, Room 237 is one of a kind. So is Peter Jackson’s Forgotten Silver.

Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com

GLADIATOR NOAH: Russell Crowe (left), as the patriarch charged by God to save mankind, discusses the necessity of building a much bigger boat – how many cubits was that again? – with Ray Winstone, who plays Tubal-Cain, in the new action-drama Noah. Photo: Paramount Pictures

FILM RATINGS **** ***@ **@@ *@@@

CIVIL WAR THE DEATH OF CAPTAIN AMERICA UNDER SIEGE HEROES REBORN

OTHER FILMS

SUN-RAY CINEMA The premiere of a children’s music video, Hug-a-Bug-aBoo, locally produced with local cast members, is held at 1 p.m. April 5 at Sun-Ray Cinema, 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. Mistaken for Strangers screens at 7:15 p.m. April 2. Elaine Stritch: Shoot Me, a profile and performance documentary on the brash Broadway babe, screens April 4. Nymphomaniac Vol. I starts April 4; see our review on page 26. The new TV series Cosmos screens at 10 p.m. every Mon.; check with the theater for day/date updates on that. Sun-Ray Cinema, 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com GREEN SERIES FILMS Fernandina Little Theatre, in partnership with U.S. Green Building Council, North Florida Chapter and Ray C. Anderson Foundation, continues this Northeast Florida regional traveling fi lm series designed to examine environmental issues and foster dialogue within the community about sustainability. The second of critically acclaimed and award-winning documentary films Dive!, about filmmaker Jeremy Selfert and his friends as they dumpster-dive in garbage receptacles at Los Angeles supermarkets, is screened at 7:30 p.m. April 8. Tapped, which looks at the big business of bottled water and how it’s bamboolzed the public and damaged our Earth, is shown on April 15, and Gasland Part II, an in-depth examination of the dangers of fracking now occurring in 32 countries worldwide, wraps up the series on April 22, at the theater, 1014 Beech St., Fernandina Beach, $6 each film, proceeds benefit the Building Council, 277-2202, ameliaflt.org.

LATITUDE 30 MOVIES Gravity, RoboCop and Frozen are currently screening at Latitude 30’s CineGrille Theater, 10370 Philips Highway, Southside, 365-5555, facebook.com/latitude30.

WORLD GOLF HALL OF FAME IMAX THEATER Divergent: An IMAX Experience, We the People, Jerusalem 3D, Great White Shark 3D, Tornado Alley 3D and To the Arctic 3D are screened at World Golf Hall of Fame IMAX Theater, 1 World Golf Place, St. Augustine, worldgolfimax. com. Island of Lemurs: Madagascar 3D opens April 4.

NOW SHOWING

300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE *G@@ Rated R Evil superbitch Persian naval offi cer Artemisia (Eva Green) is smarter, more competent and more ambitious than all the men she commands. Director Noam Murro’s action/Greek mythology fl ick co-stars Sullivan Stapleton, Lena Headey and Hans Matheson.

BAD WORDS **G@ Rated R Jason Bateman plays Guy Trilby, a mean-spirited, grade-A prick. The eighth-grade dropout with a photographic memory exploits a loophole in the rules of the Golden Quill Spelling Bee’s annual competition and gets up on the stage with an assortment of very smart children. Guy wages psychological warfare to decimate the kids in regional bees, incurring the wrath of their parents and teachers.

Competing in the national championship, he runs afoul of the Golden Quill’s prim administrator, Dr. Bernice Deagan (Allison Janney), and its distinguished director, Dr. Bowman (Philip Baker Hall). Why is Guy doing this? That’s what sponsor and online journalist Jenny Widgeon (Kathryn Hahn) hopes to uncover as Guy clears his path to victory. The only thing standing in the shmuck’s way is the doe-eyed Chaitanya Chopra (Rohan Chand), a precocious 10-year-old Indian-American lad Guy takes out on the town for a night of debauchery not even a grownup should have.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER ***G Rated PG-13 • Opens April 4 Reviewed in this issue.

CESAR CHAVEZ Rated PG-13 This dramatic biography is about the labor organizer Chavez (Michael Peña) who brought the plight of migrant farm workers, many of whom were Hispanic, to the forefront in America in the ’50s, ’60s and ’70s. Actual archival footage of the struggle is featured along with the dramatic story.

Co-stars Rosario Dawson, Wes Bentley (the psycho kid in American Beauty) and Yancey Arias.

DIVERGENT Rated PG-13 In the future, apparently, what faction you belong to depends on what virtues you practice. (Kinda like where you sit at church suppers, only there’s probably no peach cobbler. Dammit.) Anyway, Beatrice Prior (Shailene Woodley) is labeled a Divergent, a group of misfits considered so

dangerous that their destruction is in the planning stages.

So she hooks up with another outcast type – Four (Theo James), who’s really just one person. Co-stars Kate Winslet, Ashley Judd, Miles Teller and Zoë Kravitz.

FROZEN ***G Rated PG Disney’s Oscar-winning animated feature about sisters Princess Anna (Kristen Bell) and Queen Elsa (Idina Menzel), shines in this Golden Globe-winner. And hey, parents, check out details for the sing-along at some theaters – “Let It Go” won a Best Original Song Oscar!

GOD’S NOT DEAD Rated PG Josh Wheaton (Shane Harper) is a college student having a little trouble in his philosophy class. Professor Radisson (the yummy Kevin Sorbo, who played Hercules on TV) doesn’t believe there is a God, shaking Josh’s faith. Co-stars Dean Cain and Willie Robertson.

THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL **G@ Rated R Director Wes Anderson guides a great ensemble cast in this, The Twee-est Story Ever Told, including Edward Norton, Jeff Goldblum, Harvey Keitel, Saoirse Ronan, Bill Murray, the adorable Bob Balaban, Adrien Brody, Willem Dafoe and Anderson favorites Jason Schwartzman and Owen Wilson, through this comedy-drama that covers the years of service of Gustave H (Ralph Fiennes), the concierge of an elegant European hotel. The tale is largely told by the 1960s version of lobby boy Zero Moustafa, played by F. Murray Abraham, reflecting on his time at the hotel and the madcap and sometimes seemingly murderous adventures he and Gustave had. (The younger Zero is portrayed by the charming Tony Revolori.) The film’s a rambunctious rococo romp with chapter titles, changing aspect ratios, inspired art direction, funicular railways, downhill ski races, prison breaks and multiple other amusements, but possesses little coherence. And that’s OK. ISLAND OF LEMURS: MADAGASCAR Rated G • Opens April 4 Those kinda creepy, kinda cute lil guys with the goo-googoogly eyes are highly endangered, despite their star turn in three movies with Chris Rock and Ben Stiller. Primatologist Dr. Patricia Wright is on a mission to keep them on Earth as long as possible. The IMAX documentary is directed

by David Douglas and written by Drew Fellman, who both worked on the Born to be Wild documentary, also with narration by who else but Morgan Freeman, aka God. If he can’t help these leapin’ lemurs, nobody can.

APRIL 2-8, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27

A&E // MOVIES JINN Rated PG-13 Automotive designer Shawn (Dominic Rains) and his wife Jasmine (Serinda Swan) are humming along just fine until an old family curse is the subject of a warning message he receives. The thriller co-stars Ray Park, William Atherton and Walter Phelan, who plays the Jinn, aka a genie. Except he’s not in a bottle, nobody’s rubbing anything and Barbara Eden and Larry Hagman are nowhere to be found.

LEGEND: LION IS BACK Not Rated This Indian film, in Telugu with English subtitles, co-stars Nandamuri Balakrishna, Radhika Apte, Sonal Chauhan and Jagapathu Babu.

THE LEGO MOVIE ***@ Rated PG Writers and directors Chris Miller and Phillip Lord’s popular, subversive animated feature about colorful toy bricks teaching life lessons co-stars the vocal talents of Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Will Arnett, Chris Pratt and Will Ferrell. Hey, did you know that the word Lego is like sheep or deer, in that the plural is also Lego? That’s cool.

NOAH Rated PG-13 It’s gotten fairly good reviews, but did this really need to be a movie? Russell Crowe stars as the determined patriarch who’s acutely aware of the weather forecast – God as meteorologist has told him a great flood is coming and he’d better hightail it to the high seas with his family and a lot of animals if he wants to survive. Co-stars Jennifer Connelly, Anthony Hopkins, Nick Nolte, Ray Winstone and Emma Watson.

***@

NON-STOP Rated PG-13 Liam Neeson may have found his niche as an action hero, despite his astonishing turn as Oskar Schindler – you know, that guy with that list. Here he’s an air marshal being texted by a bad guy on his transatlantic fl ight, threatening to kill passengers unless he gets $150 million. Co-stars Julianne Moore, Nate Parker and a guy named Scoot McNairy, which isn’t a very distinguished actor-name. Scoot … sounds like his next movie will be Jackass 4.5.

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NEED FOR SPEED **G@ Rated PG-13 Director Scott Waugh must have a sizeable sack to make this car-chase movie. Aaron Paul stars as Tobey Marshall, a gearhead in upstate New York trying to keep his family’s body shop afloat while scratching out extra money in late-night street races. But his need for cash to save the business leads to an encounter with one-time rival-turnedpro-racer Dino Brewster (Dominic Cooper) that ends tragically, with Tobey off to jail. Two years on, his shot at redemption is facing Dino in a high-stakes race, driving a souped-up Mustang cross-country, with Julia (Imogen Poots), a flunky of the car’s owner, riding shotgun. The coast-to-coast journey with Tobey’s willing wingmen (Scott Mescudi, Rami Malek, Ramon Rodriguez) also features Tobey’s ex-girlfriend/now Dino’s, Anita (Dakota Johnson).

Poots … what, up-and-coming actors don’t change their names in Hollywood anymore?

MR. PEABODY & SHERMAN Rated PG We remember these guys from the Rocky and His Friends (which included Bullwinkle, who always had the wrong hat) TV cartoon series; Sherman was the kinda dopey human boy, adopted by an inventive, scholarly dog, Mr. Peabody.

We especially miss the Wayback Machine, which we never knew was actually spelled WABAC. Huh. Co-stars the voices of Ty Burrell, Allison Janney and Stephen Colbert.

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Goelz, Bill Barretta, David Rudman and Matt Vogel. There’s a bunch of cameos: Sean Combs, Céline Dion, Lady Gaga, Tony Bennett, Zach Galifianakis, Josh Groban, Salma Hayek, Frank Langella, Ray Liotta, Toby Jones, James McAvoy, Saoirse Ronan, Stanley Tucci … waitasec … Josh Groban?

Floyd Pepper, Animal, Beaker, Lew Zealand – this Produced by _KL Checked byScooter, Sales Rep KL_ time touring the globe. There’s an evil Kermie look-alike who’s involved in a jewelry heist in Europe, and Tina Fey, Ricky Gervais (you’ll never convince us he’s actually funny) and Ty Burrell (appearing here as humans) are also nefarious types … or are they? The vocal talents of stalwart Muppets include Steve Whitmire, Eric Jacobson, Dave

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NOT THAT MADAGASCAR: Dr. Patricia C. Wright’s mission to save highly endangered lemurs gets the documentary treatment, narrated by (who else?) Morgan Freeman in Island of Lemurs: Madagascar, opening April 4 at World Golf Village’s Hall of Fame IMAX Theatre in St. Augustine. Photo: Warner Bros.

A&E // MOVIES

POOR LEO: Leonardo DiCaprio played grandiose playboy Jordan Belfort in Martin Scorsese’s The Wolf of Wall Street and everyone on the Internet was shocked (shocked!) that he didn’t take home an Oscar (he did get a Golden Globe, though, so don’t feel too sorry for ol’ Leo). Maybe DiCaprio will stretch himself in his next role, but for now, you can catch Wolf on DVD. Photo: Mary Cybulski, Paramount Pictures

NYMPHOMANIAC, VOL. I & VOL. II G@@@ Not Rated Vol. I opens April 4, Vol. II opens April 18 at Sun-Ray Cinema Reviewed in this issue.

RIDE ALONG Rated PG-13 Kevin Hart is a smart-mouthed security guard engaged to Angela (Tika Sumpter), whose brother James (Ice Cube) is a cop. Co-stars John Leguizamo and Jay Pharoah.

SABOTAGE Rated R Serious badass action movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sam Worthington and Terrence Howard. DEA agents are picked off like so many ducks in a carnival shooting gallery after they piss off some nice drug lords.

THE SINGLE MOMS CLUB Rated PG-13 The unstoppable Tyler Perry has churned out another pleasant, sexy, movie-with-a-moral about … duh … unmarried mothers. These ladies (Nia Long, Amy Smart, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Cocoa Brown, Zulay Henao) bond over their kids’ school problems, then become friends.

Rounding out the cast are Ryan Eggold, Eddie Cibrian, William Levy and, of course, Mr. Perry, who also wrote and directed. Have to mention Terry Crews, too, who’s enjoying well-deserved success as Sgt. Terry Jeffords in the new award-winning TV cop comedy Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

SON OF GOD **@@ Rated PG-13 Devout Christians may find it powerful, casual church-goers may find it moving but a bit heavy-handed, and nonChristians and nonbelievers will probably think it’s preachy.

Mark Burnett and Roma Downey, who plays Mary, produced.

Co-stars Sebastian Knapp, Adrian Schiller (Caiaphas), Diogo Morgado (Jesus) and Amber Rose Revah (Mary Magdalene).

Every time we type the title of this movie, we can’t help but think of National Lampoon’s terrific Son-O’-God Comics, by the great Sean Kelly. Now that was some holy shit.

STALINGRAD Rated R Filmed on location in St. Petersburg, Russia, the action war drama is about Russian soldiers who held their own against the German army. In Russian and German.

TIM’S VERMEER Rated PG-13 Tim Jenison is an inventor who seeks to demystify the painting practices of 17th-century Dutch Master Johannes Vermeer, whose innovative use of light and color is most notable in Girl with a Pearl Earring. Magicians Penn and Teller appear in this doc – not sure why; go see it and let us know – as does droll comedian Martin Mull.

VERONICA MARS Rated PG-13 Veronica (Kristen Bell) was a private eye when she was just a high-school girl; now she’s back for a class reunion and gets roped into helping solve a murky murder. And wouldn’t you just know it? Her ex-fl ame from back in the day – whatever did she see in him? – is knee-deep in the intrigue. Co-stars Jason Dohring, Krysten Ritter and Jerry O’Connell (yes, that fat kid from Stand By Me who grew up to be oddly hot).

© 2014

NEW ON DVD

ANCHORMAN 2: THE LEGEND CONTINUES Rated PG-13 The comedy reunites the “professional” newsmen – Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell), Brick Tamland (Steve Carell), Brian Fantana (Paul Rudd, charmingly smarmy) and Champ Kind (David Koechner) – as they stumble toward the future and its promise of 24-hour news channels, mustachioed, resplendent in their polyester … and clueless. Co-stars Christina Applegate, Kristen Wiig, James Marsden, Greg Kinnear, Fred Willard, Chris Parnell, Harrison Ford and Vince Vaughn. Check the closing credits for a herd of little kids named Ferrell who appear at Sea World. Nepotism!

THE BAG MAN Rated R John Cusack stars in this crime thriller about a criminal in possession of a bag whose contents are a mystery. Robert De Niro co-stars.

DELIVERY MAN Rated PG-13 Underachiever David Wozniak discovers his 691 sperm donations to a fertility clinic in the early 1990s resulted in 533 children, 142 of whom filed a court action seeking his identity, to meet the man known only by a donor nom d’essence, “Starbuck.” Co-stars Cobie Smulders and Chris (Parks & Recreation) Pratt.

THE PUNK SINGER Not Rated The documentary focuses on the original riot grrrl Kathleen Hanna, who was not only a punk rock musician but an activist and then cultural icon in the punk scene oozing out in the ’90s. The stellar co-stars are legion: Joan Jett! Adam Horovitz! Carrie Brownstein! Jennifer Baumgardner!

THE WOLF OF WALL STREET Rated R Hotshot young stockbroker Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio) has a mansion, yacht, private jet, cars, a steady supply of cocaine and everything else money can buy.

Debauchery isn’t a habit for him; it’s a way of life. It’s the late ’80s, so anything goes. Until it doesn’t. Co-stars Jonah Hill, Rob Reiner, Margot Robbie, Jon Favreau, Kyle Chandler and Matthew McConaughey.

APRIL 2-8, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29

A&E // ARTS

PERFORMANCE

THE COLOR PURPLE The play, based on Alice Walker’s novel, is staged at 8 p.m. April 2-27, matinees at 1:15 p.m. Sat. and 2 p.m. Sun., at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $38-$55, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com.

PAUL ANKA The acclaimed singer-songwriter best known for Diana, My Way and Lonely Boy and for writing the Academy Award-nominated theme for The Longest Day (the 1962 film in which he also starred) performs 7:30 p.m. April 3 at the T-U Center’s Moran Theater, $68.50-$108.50, 442-2929, artistseriesjax.org.

THE DROWSY CHAPERONE A clever tribute to the great American musical tradition, the snarky production is about a rabid musical theater fan who recreates his favorite cast album, telling a comical tale of a celebrity bride and her zany wedding day. 7:30 p.m. April 3-5 and 3 p.m. April 6 at Jacksonville University’s Swisher Theater, 2800 University Blvd. N., University, $5-$15 256-7370, ju.edu.

FEELS LIKE HOME Players by the Sea presents a concert featuring Alejandro Rodriguez, performing popular hits by artists of today (Lady Gaga, Adele) and yesterday (Queen, Journey, The Eagles), 8 p.m. April 4 and 5 at Players by the Sea, 106 N. Sixth St., Jax Beach, $28, 249-0289, playersbythesea.org.

BREAKING LEGS In Tom Dulack’s comedy, the worlds of the mob and theater collide when a playwright seeks funding for his new play from the “family” of a former student, who turn out to be Mafia godfathers, April 4-13 (8 p.m. Fri. and Sat., 3 p.m. Sun.) at Orange Park Community Theatre, 2900 Moody Ave., Orange Park, $15, 276-2599, opct.org.

A RAISIN IN THE SUN The play, based on Lorraine Hansberry’s classic novel, film and Tony Award-winning play, is the story of a black Chicago family’s struggle for dignity amid the troubles they face, 6 p.m. April 5, and 3 p.m. April 6 at Stage Aurora Performance Hall, 5188 Norwood Ave., Northside, $15-$20, 765-7372, stageaurora.org.

SWAMP RADIO: HOW’S YA MAMA AND THEM Swamp Radio, a Spark Grant project of the Cultural Council of Greater Jacksonville, stages an early celebration of Mother’s Day, featuring Grandpa’s Cough Medicine, The WillowWacks and Irish storyteller Derek Coghlan, 3 p.m. April 6 at the T-U Center, $22.50-$30, swampradiojax.com.

BOEING BOEING Douglas Anderson Main Stage Theatre presents the 1960s French farce revived on Broadway in a Tony-winning 2008 production about a successful French architect juggling three flight attendant fiancées – an American, a German and an Italian – 7:30 p.m. April 10-12 at the school, 2445 San Diego Road, Southside, $10-$12, 346-5620, da-arts.org.

NICE PEOPLE DANCING Eve Wilfong, who lives over the Nice People Dancing to Good Country Music Bar, is visited by her niece, a novice nun who’s been asked to leave the convent.

8 p.m. April 10-26 (matinees 2 p.m. April 13 and 20) at ACT’s Studio 209 Theatre, 209 Cedar St., Fernandina Beach, $18-$20, 261-6749, ameliacommunitytheatre.org.

THE LYONS At her dying husband’s bedside, Rita Lyons reads glossy magazines, planning to redecorate when he’s gone. Their adult children appear, and we see the Lyons’ dysfunction; 8 p.m. April 11-26 (matinees 2 p.m. April 13 and 20) at Players by the Sea, 106 N. Sixth St., Jax Beach, $20-$23, 249-0289, playersbythesea.org.

OTHER DESERT CITIES Brooke Wyeth returns to Palm Springs to see her parents after a six-year absence. A once-promising novelist, she tells them of the upcoming publication of a memoir dredging up a pivotal, tragic moment in their history; 8 p.m. April 18-May 11 on Limelight Theatre’s Matuza Main Stage, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, $10-25, 825-1164, limelight-theatre.org.

CELEBRATION OF ACHIEVEMENT Laurie Picinich-Byrd, artistic director of The Florida Ballet, is honored for her 35 years of vision for dance in Jacksonville. Davis Robertson, Joffrey Ballet Concert Group artistic director and a former student of Picinich-Byrd’s, presents a program featuring a performance by Florida Ballet dancers at 8 p.m. April 25 at University of North Florida’s Lazzara Performance Hall, 1 UNF Dr., Bldg. 45, Southside, $20-$38, 620-1000, unf.edu.

A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM The worlds of literature and dance collide in this production based on Shakespeare’s raucous and ribald comedy; 2 and 7 p.m. April 26 and 2 p.m.

April 27 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., $30, 745-3000, pvconcerthall.com.

JACKSONVILLE MASTERWORKS CHORALE A free children’s concert, A Day at the Zoo, is staged at 6:30 p.m. April 28 at Clay County Headquarters Library, 1895 Town Center Blvd., Fleming Island, 278-3722, jmcsings.wordpress.com.

COMEDY

MIDNIGHT SWINGER The Vegas stylings of this comedian are presented at 8:04 p.m. April 3, 8:34 p.m. April 4 and 8:04 and 10:10 p.m. April 5; Jamie Utley opens, at Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Arlington, 646-4277, $6-$25, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

CHRIS D’ELIA That Workaholics guy and star of NBC’s

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comedy Whitney, D’Elia was named one of Variety’s “Top 10 Comics to Watch.” He’s here 8 and 10 p.m. April 4 and 5 and 8 p.m. April 6 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, $22-$27.50, 292-4242, comedyzone.com. Blue Humor Night (adults only) is 8 p.m. April 3, $10.

DOUG STANHOPE Comedian Stanhope, dubbed “the most fearless man in comedy” by Esquire magazine, brings his Last Gasp Tour at 9 p.m. April 6 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, $25, 353-6067, underbellylive.com.

DAVE COULIER Is that Joey Gladstone?! Not really, but Coulier will crack you up anyway at 8:04 p.m. April 10 and 8:04 and 10:10 p.m. April 11 and 12; D.K. Hamilton opens, at Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Arlington, 646-4277, $6-$25, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

DERAY DAVIS This comedian-turned-actor lends his voice and writing talent to hit shows The Boondocks and Adult Swim’s Black Dynamite. Davis appears 8 p.m. April 17 and 8 and 10 p.m. April 18 and 19 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, $25-$30, 292-4242, comedyzone.com.

TOM SIMMONS Simmons won the San Francisco International Comedy Competition and holds credits on Comedy Central, Showtime and a laundry list of prominent programs. He’s on at 8:04 p.m. April 17 and 19, 8:34 p.m. April 18 and 10:10 p.m. April 19 at Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Arlington, 646-4277, $6-$25, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

MAD COWFORD IMPROV Weekly improv shows based on audience suggestion are held 8:15 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at Northstar Substation, 119 E. Bay St., Downtown, $5, 233-2359, madcowford.com.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS

GARDEN WORKSHOP The Garden Club of Fleming Island presents Save Your Money Garden Tips, a free, hands-on workshop, 6 p.m. April 2 at Clay County Headquarters Library, 1895 Town Center Blvd., Fleming Island, 278-3722, gardenclubflemingisland.com.

OLIVER! Auditions for the musical (to be directed by Tom Fallon) for ages 8-15 are held from 1-5 p.m. April 5 and for ages 16 and older from 6-9 p.m. April 6 at Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, $65, 825-1164, limelight-theatre.org.

PONTE VEDRA BEACH HOME & ART TOUR The tour features five Ponte Vedra Beach homes, with a focus on how art was incorporated into the design and furnishings, 10 a.m.-4 p.m.

April 5, $35, 280-0614 ext. 205 for details.

ACTORS WORKSHOP Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre holds an actors’ workshop, 6 p.m. every Sun., April 6-13 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, $160 (half at registration, half at first class plan available), 249-7177, abettheatre.com.

BALLROOM DANCING Dancing with DJ Tom Stoiber, 8 p.m. to midnight April 5 at Club Savoy, 6354 Arlington Rd., Jacksonville.

ARTIST TALK Celeste Roberge, whose “Ocean Floors” exhibit is on display at Crisp-Ellert Art Museum, discusses her work 7 p.m. April 10 at Gamache-Koger Theater, Ringhaver Student Center, Flagler College, 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, free, 826-8530, flagler.edu/crispellert.

THE FOREIGNER AUDITIONS Amelia Community Theatre auditions for male and female roles for this play about Froggy, a British demolitions expert, and Charlie, his pathologically shy friend, on a long weekend in the South; 1 p.m. April 12 at ACT’s Studio 209 Theatre, 209 Cedar St., Fernandina Beach, 261-6749, ameliacommunitytheatre.org.

STATE OF THE ARTS The St. Johns Cultural Council accepts applications from nonprofits, artists and teachers for funding of up to $500 for its Spring State of the Arts Grant.

The council is interested in arts education and outreach to underserved areas. Applications must be submitted by April 15. For details, call 808-7330 or go to stjohnsculture.com.

NATIVE AMERICAN FLUTE WORKSHOP The two-hour beginner’s workshop is held 7 p.m. April 24 at Amiro Art & Found, 9C Aviles St., St. Augustine, $40, registration required, 824-8460, amiroartandfound.com.

IMPROVISATION FOR ADULTS Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre’s workshop covers the basics of improv, 2 p.m. April 27 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, $55, 249-7177, abettheatre.com.

ACTEEN STAGE LAB Children and teens in grades 6-12 learn street style and ambush theater, 6:30 p.m. every Wed. at Limelight Theatre, $80/session, 825-1164, limelight-theatre.org.

CALL TO ARTISTS The Art Center seeks photographers and video artists to present slide shows or videos at Art Walk at its studios. Artists must have their own projection equipment. $25 fee. For details, email reidartlaw@gmail.com.

NATURE & WILDLIFE EXHIBIT Works in any medium that celebrate the beauty of the natural world are eligible – wilderness and landscape images, birds, marine life and the diversity of creatures in the great outdoors – for the fifth annual exhibition, held July 26-Aug. 31 at St. Augustine Art Association. Prizes for artistic excellence are awarded, including best in show. Submit up to three images online by June 2 at staaa.org. The fee is $45. 824-2310.

TOOL MAN: Comedian Doug Stanhope says actors are tools, but he’s been one himself, notably in the upcoming Finally Famous, directed by Chris Rock. Stanhope will have to explain when he gets here April 6 at Underbelly.

CLASSICAL & JAZZ

SYMPHONY 101 Philip Pan, Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra concertmaster, leads a lunch-and-learn session on the violin and its electronic counterpart, 12:30 p.m. April 2 at the T-U Center, Downtown. Afterward, concertgoers may sit in as guest conductor Andrew Grams leads a rehearsal for the week’s concerts; $15 includes boxed lunch, lecture, open rehearsal, 354-5547, jaxsymphony.org.

VIRTUOUSO LISZT Guest conductor Andrew Grams joins pianist William Wolfram, noted for his focus on the music of Liszt, 7:30 p.m. April 3 and 8 p.m. April 4 and 5 at the T-U Center, Downtown, $25-$59, 354-5547, jaxsymphony.org.

JOHN THOMAS GROUP The jazz musicians perform a fundraiser concert for Senior Life Foundation, 4 p.m. April 6 at Culhane’s Irish Pub, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595, culhanesirishpub.com.

KING OF STRINGS Ken Ford takes the violin center-stage in an energetic performance, 7 and 10 p.m. April 5 at Ritz Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, $25, 632-5555, ritzjacksonville.com.

BIG BAND BASH BENEFIT DINNER/DANCE The Dynamic Les DeMerle Orchestra, featuring vocalist Bonnie Eisele, performs to raise funds for the Amelia Island Jazz Festival scholarship program, 6:30-10 p.m. April 19 at Omni Amelia Island Plantation, 39 Beach Lagoon, $75, 261-6161, ameliaislandjazzfestival.com.

JAZZ IN PONTE VEDRA The Gary Starling Group (Carol Sheehan, Billy Thornton, Peter Miles) performs 7:30-10:30 p.m. every Thur. at Table 1, 330 A1A N., 280-5515.

JAZZ IN RIVERSIDE Trumpeter Ray Callendar and guitarist Taylor Roberts are featured at 9:30 p.m. every Thur. at Kickbacks Gastropub, 910 King St., 388-9551.

JAZZ IN MANDARIN Boril Ivanov Trio plays at 7 p.m. every Thur. and pianist David Gum plays at 7 p.m. every Fri. at Tree Steakhouse, 11362 San Jose Blvd., 262-0006.

JAX BEACH JAZZ Live jazz is presented 6-9 p.m. every Fri. at Landshark Café, 1728 Third St. N., 246-6024.

JAZZ IN NEPTUNE BEACH Live jazz is featured 7:30-9:30 p.m. every Sat. at Lillie’s Coffee Bar, 200 First St., 249-2922.

JAZZ IN ST. AUGUSTINE The House Cats play 9:30 p.m.-1 a.m. every Sat. at Stogies Club & Listening Room, 36 Charlotte St., 826-4008.

JAZZ IN ARLINGTON Jazzland Café features live music at 8 p.m. every Sat. and 6-9 p.m. every Tue. at 1324 University Blvd. N., 240-1009, jazzlandcafe.com.

JAZZ IN ST. AUGUSTINE Live jazz is featured nightly at Rhett’s Piano Bar & Brasserie, 66 Hypolita St., 825-0502.

ART WALKS, FESTIVALS & MARKETS

FIRST WEDNESDAY ART WALK An art walk, featuring 30-40 galleries, museums and businesses and spanning 15 blocks, is held 5-9 p.m. April 2 and every first Wed., Downtown, downtownjacksonville.org/marketing; iloveartwalk.com.

FIRST FRIDAY ART WALK The walking tour of Art Galleries of St. Augustine is held April 4 and every first Fri., with more than 15 galleries participating, 829-0065.

DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts and crafts and local produce are offered 10 a.m.-2 p.m. April 4 and every Fri. at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 353-1188.

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Local and regional art, food artisans and a farmers market are featured, along with Jessecarole Montoya, Sweet Scarlett and the UNF Jazz Ensemble II, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. April 5 and every Sat. through Dec. 20 under the Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com.

JAX BEACH ART WALK More than 30 local artists display works, 5-9 p.m. April 8 and every second Tue., along First Street between Beach Boulevard and Fifth Avenue North, Jax Beach, betterjaxbeach.com/jax-beach-art-walk.html.

ARTRAGEOUS ART WALK Downtown Fernandina Beach galleries are open for self-guided tours, 5:30-8:30 p.m. April 12 and every second Sat., 277-0717, ameliaisland.com.

NORTH BEACHES ART WALK Galleries of Atlantic and Neptune beaches are open 5-9 p.m. April 24 and every third Thur. from Sailfish Drive in Atlantic Beach to Neptune Beach and Town Center, 249-2222, nbaw.org.

UPTOWN SATURDAY NIGHT The self-guided tour features galleries, antique stores and shops open 5-9 p.m. April 26 and every last Sat. in St. Augustine’s San Marco District, 824-3152.

A&E // ARTS

MUSEUMS

ALEXANDER BREST MUSEUM & GALLERY Jacksonville University, 2800 University Blvd. N., Arlington, 256-7371, arts. ju.edu. Senior thesis artwork includes 2-D art, sculptures, animated shorts, screenplays and film productions, on display through April 30. The permanent collection features carved ivory, Chinese porcelain, pre-Colombian artifacts and more.

AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY 233 S. Third St., Fernandina Beach, 261-7378, ameliamuseum.org.

“Beaches, Creatures, and Cowboys” features posters and lobby cards from Florida’s most famous films, on display through April. The children’s exhibit “Discovery Ship” allows kids to pilot the ship, hoist flags and learn about the history of Fernandina’s harbor.

BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY PARK 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, beachesmuseum.org. The exhibit “Waiting for the Train: Henry Flagler & the Florida East Coast Railroad” is on display through June 1.

CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM Flagler College, 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530, flagler.edu/crispellert. Celeste Roberge’s exhibit, “Ocean Floors,” includes photography, cyanotypes and vessels that reflect the forms of the sea, on display through April 19. Works are displayed at First Friday Art Walk April 4. An artist’s talk is held April 10.

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., Riverside, 356-6857, cummer.org. Painting’s artistic and devotional contexts are explored through 21 works, 19 of which are borrowed from collections in the United States and Germany. “One Family: Photographs by Vardi Kahana,” an exhibit by the Israeli photographer detailing four generations of her family, is on display through April 7.

Florida State University Professor William Walmsley displays his works through July 8. “The Human Figure: Sculptures

by Enzo Torcoletti” is on display through September. “A Commemoration of the Civil Rights Movement: Photography from the High Museum of Art” is on display through Nov. 2.

KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992, rain.org/~karpeles/jaxfrm.html. “Mark Twain” includes original letters, writings and illustrations on exhibit through April 26. “Breaking Free: Dark Energy, Dark Matter” features oil on canvas paintings by Margaret Schnebly Hodge, on display through April 29. The permanent collection includes other rare manuscripts.

MANDARIN MUSEUM & HISTORICAL SOCIETY 11964 Mandarin Rd., 268-0784, mandarinmuseum.net. The exhibit “The Maple Leaf,” which features artifacts and information from the Civil War era, is exhibited April 4-Dec. 31.

MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 366-6911, mocajacksonville. com. The exhibit “Material Transformations,” in which seven artists uncover symbolism through unconventional substances, runs through April 6. Leigh Murphy’s exhibit “Observing Objects,” an exploration of watercolor, runs through May 11. Shaun Thurston’s “Project Atrium: One Spark” opens April 9.

MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank, 396-6674, themosh.org. “Uncovering the Past: Archaeological Discoveries of North Florida” is on display through August.

VISITOR INFORMATION CENTER 10 W. Castillo Dr., St. Augustine, 825-1000, staugustine-450.com/journey.

“Journey: 450 years of the African-American Experience” is exhibited through July 15.

GALLERIES

ABSOLUTE AMERICANA ART GALLERY 77 Bridge St., St. Augustine, 824-5545, absoluteamericana.com.

Original Pierre Matisse prints are featured. The permanent display features oil paintings, sculptures and prints from international artists.

AMIRO ART & FOUND GALLERY 9C Aviles St., St. Augustine, 824-8460, amiroartandfound.com. Artist Jan Tomlinson’s “Mirror, Mirror,” which features vintage etched mirrors, opens on April 4 during First Friday Art Walk and is on display through April.

THE ART CENTER MAIN GALLERY 31 W. Adams St., Downtown, 355-1757, tacjacksonville.org/main.html.

Paintings, pastels, sketches and photography by a diverse group of member artists are displayed.

THE ART CENTER PREMIER GALLERY 50 N. Laura St., Downtown, 355-1757, tacjacksonville.org/premier-gallery.

“The Woods” exhibit, featuring artwork using wood to depict forests and trees, runs through May 6.

BUTTERFIELD GARAGE ART GALLERY 137 King St., St. Augustine, 825-4577, butterfieldgarage.com. A collection of works by current junior and senior Flagler College students opens on April 4 during First Friday Art Walk and is on display through April. The artist-run gallery features a wide range of traditional and contemporary works by several local artists.

CORSE GALLERY & ATELIER 4144 Herschel St., Riverside, 388-8205, corsegalleryatelier.com. Permanent artworks on display at the gallery feature those by Kevin Beilfuss, Eileen

Corse, Miro Sinovcic, Maggie Siner, Alice Williams and Luana Luconi Winner.

FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928, firststreetgalleryart.com. Joan Carver – who specializes in watercolor, pastels and oils – opens her exhibit called “Color It Coastal” with a reception held 7-9 p.m. on April 4; the exhibit continues through May 20.

FLORIDA MINING GALLERY 5300 Shad Rd., Southside, 425-2845, floridamininggallery.com. Craig Drennen’s exhibit “Awful & Others,” featuring artworks based on William Shakespeare’s play Timon of Athens, is on display through May 2. Permanent display features a wide range of contemporary works by emerging artists.

FSCJ SOUTH CAMPUS ART GALLERY 11901 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-2023, fscj.edu. “Picking Cotton: A Student Response Project” is a collection of works that reflect Ronald Cotton and Jennifer Thompson-Cannino’s “Picking Cotton: Our Memoir of Injustice and Redemption,” on display through April 10.

GALLERY725 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 5, Atlantic Beach, 345-9320, gallery725.com. The exhibit “Water. Fire. Wood” features works by artists Tonsenia Yann, Ken Daga, Mathew Winghart, Linda Olsen and Flew, on display through May 17. Works and hand-crafted gifts by more local artists are featured, along with a selection of national and international works.

THE GALLERY AT HOUSE OF STEREO 8780 Perimeter Park Ct., Ste. 100, Southside, 642-6677, houseofstereo.com.

Paintings, art glass, photography, woodcrafts, pottery and sculptures are featured.

GEORGIA NICK GALLERY 11A Aviles St., St. Augustine, 806-3348, georgianickgallery.com. The artist-owned studio displays Nick’s sea and landscape photography, along with local works by oil painters, a mosaic artist, potter, photographer and author.

HASKELL GALLERY & DISPLAY CASES Jacksonville International Airport, 14201 Pecan Park Rd., Northside, 741-3546. John Cheer’s decorative wall plates and sculpture, inspired by the sea’s energy and nature, are displayed through April 7 in Connector Bridge Art display case before security. Photographer John Adams’ “Evanescent Trawlers of the South” series examines the vessels from Southern harbors, displayed through April 4 in Concourse A and C display cases after security.

HIGHWAY GALLERY floridamininggallery.com/exhibitions/ the-highway-gallery. Nine regional artists – Nathaniel Artkart Price, Ken Daga, Ashley C. Waldvogel, Brianna Angelakis, Christina Foard, Linda Olsen, Sara Pedigo, Zach Fitchner and Russell Maycumber – are featured on digital billboards throughout the city in collaboration with Clear Channel through July 2014.

THE LOOKING LAB 107 E. Bay St., Downtown, 917-239-3772. The exhibit/project “Art in Empty Store Fronts” features multimedia video art and sculptures by Crystal Floyd and David Montgomery.

LUFRANO INTERCULTURAL GALLERY University of North Florida, 1 UNF Dr., Student Union Bldg. 58E, Ste. 2401, Southside, 620-2475. The opening reception for the 2014 Art & Design Senior Exhibition is held on April 3. The exhibit is on display through May 2.

PLANTATION ARTISTS’ GUILD & GALLERY 94 Amelia Village Circle, Amelia Island, 432-1750, artamelia.com.

Spanish oil paintings by Dionisio Rodriquez are exhibited through April 12.

REDDI ARTS 1037 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-3161, reddiarts.com. Works by local artists are featured, with a focus on “emerging artists for emerging collectors.”

Collections change monthly.

SAWGRASS VILLAGE ARTS GALLERY 1520 Sawgrass Village Dr., Ponte Vedra, 273-4925, villageartspvb.com.

Black-and-white photography by David McCormick and original paintings by Randy and Debra Brienen are featured through April.

ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., 824-2310, staaa.org. The Spring Members show, which features a wide array of artwork by local artists, opens April 4 during First Friday Art Walk and runs through April 27.

SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 201 N. Hogan St., Ste. 100, Downtown, 553-6361, southlightgallery.com. Sculptures by Taylan Castner are on display through April 2. The exhibits “Face to Face,” by figure and portrait artist Tony Wood, and “Clean Water,” by landscape artist Allison Watson, are featured as part of a mural project on display during One Spark next week. space:eight GALLERY 228 W. King St., St. Augustine, 829-2838, spaceeight.com. Features lowbrow, pop surrealism, street and underground art by nationally and internationally acclaimed artists.

To list your event, send info – time, date, location (street address, city), admission price and contact number to print – to David Johnson, Arts & Entertainment editor, at djohnson@folioweekly.com. Deadline is 4 p.m. Mon., nine days before publication.

APRIL 2-8, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31

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DINING DIRECTORY To have your restaurant listed, contact your account manager or Sam Taylor, 904.260.9770 ext. 111 staylor@folioweekly.com DINING DIRECTORY KEY

Average Entrée Cost: $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner *Bite Club certified = Hosted a free Folio Weekly Bite Club tasting. Join at fwbiteclub.com.

BOJ = 2013 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH, YULEE

29 SOUTH EATS, 29 S. Third St., 277-7919. F In historic downtown, the popular bistro’s Chef Scotty Schwartz serves traditional world cuisine with a modern twist. $$ L Tue.-Sat.; D Mon.-Sat.; R Sun. BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality in an upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB K L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269. F In a historic building, family-owned spot serves worldly taste fare: homemade veggie burgers, fresh seafood, made-fromscratch desserts. Dine in or on oak-shaded patio. Karibrew Pub offers beer brewed onsite. $$ FB K TO R, Sun.; L D Daily CIAO ITALIAN BISTRO, 302 Centre St., 206-4311. Owners Luke and Kim Misciasci offer fine dining: veal piccata, rigatoni Bolognese, antipasto; house specialties are chicken Ciao, homemade-style meat lasagna. $ L Fri. & Sat.; D Nightly DAVID’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, 802 Ash St., 310-6049.

In Historic District. Fresh seafood, prime aged meats, rack of lamb served in an elegant, chic spot. $$$$ FB D Nightly DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 474313 E. S.R. 200, 491-3469.

450077 S.R. 200, Callahan, 879-0993. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444. F In a renovated 1887 shotgun house. Favorites: jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, vegan, vegetarian selections. Dine inside or on the porch. $$ FB K B L D Daily LULU’S AT THE THOMPSON HOUSE, 11 S. Seventh St., 432-8394. F Creative lunch: po’boys, salads, little plates served in a historic house. Dinner: fresh local seafood, Fernandina shrimp. Reservations recommended. $$$ BW K TO R Sun.; L D Tue.-Sat. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400. F BOJ winner. Northern-style pizzas, with more than 20 toppings, are served by the pie or the slice. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE MUSTARD SEED CAFE, 833 TJ Courson Rd., 277-3141.

Awarded Snail of Approval. Casual organic eatery and juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juice, coffee, herbal tea. $$ TO B L Mon.-Sat. THE PECAN ROLL BAKERY, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815.

Sweet and savory pastries, cookies, cakes and breads.

Everything’s made from scratch. $ TO B L Wed.-Sun. PLAE, 80 Amelia Village Cir., 277-2132. Bite Club certified. Omni Amelia Island Plantation Spa & Shops.

Bistro-style venue has an innovative menu: whole fried fish and duck breast. Outdoor dining. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. SALTY PELICAN BAR & GRILL, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811.

F See ICW sunsets from second-story outdoor bar. Owners T.J. and Al offer local seafood, Mayport shrimp, fish tacos, po’boys, original broiled cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652.

F BOJ. Oceanfront place serves award-winning handmade crab cakes, fresh seafood, fried pickles. Outdoor dining, open-air 2nd fl oor, balcony. $$ FB K L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. 8th St., 261-6310.

F This spot in an old gas station offers blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L Mon.-Sat.

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 9119 Merrill Rd., Ste. 19 & 20, 745-9301. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 8818 Atlantic Blvd., 720-0106. See Mandarin. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd., Ste. 5, 724-5802. F See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

THE CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966. F BOJ winner. Middle Eastern/Mediterranean fare. Patio, hookah lounge. Wi-Fi, bellydancers. $$ BW L D Daily CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATES, 3543 St. Johns Ave., 829-5790.

F In Green Man Gourmet, this shop has wines, spices, fresh fruit ice pops and Belgian chocolates. See Ponte Vedra. $$ TO ESPETO BRAZILIAN STEAK HOUSE, 4000 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 40, 388-4884. F Churrascaria gauchos carve the meat onto your plate from serving tables. $$$ FB D Tue.-Sun. THE FOX RESTAURANT, 3580 St. Johns Ave., 387-2669.

F Owners Ian & Mary Chase offer fresh diner fare: burgers, meatloaf, fried green tomatoes, desserts. Breakfast all day.

Local landmark for 50+ years. $$ BW K L D Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 4530 St. Johns Ave., 388-8828. F See Mandarin. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 3611 St. Johns

Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club certified. BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ BW K TO L D Daily MOJO NO. 4 URBAN BBQ & WHISKEY BAR, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $$ FB K TO L D Daily PINEGROVE MARKET & DELI, 1511 Pinegrove Ave., 389-8655. F BOJ winner. For 40+ years serving hearty fare: Cuban sandwiches, burgers, subs, wraps, homemade chicken salad, in a family spot. Onsite butcher shop cuts USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. $ BW TO B L D Mon.-Sat. SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., Ortega, 387-1000.

F Down-home cooking from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Mon.-Sat., B Sat.

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ FB K TO L D Daily BROADWAY RISTORANTE & PIZZERIA, Ste. 3, 10920 Baymeadows Rd. E., 519-8000. F Family-owned-andoperated Italian pizzeria serves calzones, strombolis, wings, brick-oven-baked pizza, subs, desserts. Delivery. $$ BW K TO L D Daily INDIA’S RESTAURANT, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777. F Authentic Indian cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetable dishes, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L Mon.-Sat.; D Nightly LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 8206 Philips Hwy., Baymeadows Junction, 732-9433. F See Mandarin. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., 737-7740.

8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily PIZZA PALACE RESTAURANT & PIZZERIA, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., 527-8649. F Relaxed, family-owned place serves homestyle cuisine. Local faves include spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, ravioli, lasagna, parmigiana.

Outside dining; HD TVs. $$ BW K TO L D Daily SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE, 8133 Point Meadows Dr., 519-0509. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ FB K L D Daily ZESTY INDIA, 8358 Point Meadows Dr., 329-3676. Chefs combine Asian methodology with European template t o create dishes like tandoori lamb chops and rosemary tikka.

Vegetarian items are cooked separately in vegetable oil. $ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun.

BEACHES

(Locations are Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Ctr., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002. F BOJ winner. Celebrating more than 20 years, Al’s is a repeat Best Pizza winner in the annual BOJ readers’ poll. New York-style and gourmet pizzas. All-day happy hour Mon.-Thur. $ FB K TO L D Daily BREEZY COFFEE SHOP CAFE, 235 Eighth Ave. S., 241-2211.

F Casual, family-owned shop serves fresh-baked goods, espressos, locally roasted coffees, vegan and gluten-free options. Sandwiches, local beer. $ BW K TO B R L Daily BUDDHA THAI BISTRO, 301 10th Ave. N., 712-4444. The proprietors are from Thailand; every dish is made with fresh ingredients, beautifully presented. $$ FB TO L D Daily CASA MARIA, 2429 S. Third St., 372-9000. F Familyowned-and-operated place offers authentic Mexican fare: fajitas and seafood dishes, hot sauces made in-house. The specialty is tacos de asada. $ FB K L D Daily CRUISERS GRILL, 319 23rd Ave. S., 270-0356. F BOJ winner. Locally owned and operated for 15+ years, this casual place serves half-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, award-winning cheddar fries and sangria. $ BW K L D Daily ENGINE 15 BREWING CO., 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217, 249-2337. F BOJ winner. Gastropub fare: soups, flatbreads, sandwiches, including BarBe-Cuban and beer dip.

Craft beers and brew groups. $ FB K L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & TEQUILA BAR, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680. F Fusion of Latin American and Southwestern-influenced fare: tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana sandwiches. 100+ tequilas. Outdoor seating. $ FB L D Daily LANDSHARK CAFE, 1728 Third St. N., 246-6024. F Locally owned & operated. Fresh, off-the-boat local seafood, fish tacos, houseground burgers, wings, handcut fries, tater tots; daily specials. $$ FB K L D Daily; R Sun. LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1222 Third St. S., 372-4495. F See Mandarin. $$ FB TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 657 N. Third St., 247-9620. F See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., Beaches Town Ctr., Neptune Beach, 249-2922. F Locally roasted coffee, eggs, bagels, flatbreads, sandwiches, desserts. Dine indoors or out, patio and courtyard. $$ BW TO B L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600. F Bite Club certified. BOJ winner.

Hoagies, salads, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 beers on tap. Nonstop happy hour. $ BW K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1534 Third St. N., 853-6817. F BOJ winner. See San Marco. $$ R B L Daily MEZZA RESTAURANT & BAR, 110 First St., Beaches Town Ctr., Neptune Beach, 249-5573. F Near-the-ocean eatery, 20+ years. Casual bistro fare: gourmet wood-fired pizzas, nightly specials. Dine inside or on the patio. Valet parking. $$$ FB K D Mon.-Sat.

Chef Landillon Matthieu, of Vernon’s at Sawgrass Marriott in Ponte Vedra, presents a grilled fi let mignon with fried green tomatoes and spicy datil rémoulade, chimichurri sauce and butter-poached lobster tail. Photo: Dennis Ho MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT & BLUES BAR, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636. F BOJ winner. Funky Southern blues kitchen.

Pulled pork, Carolina-style barbecue, Delta fried catfish, all the sides. $$ FB K TO L D Daily M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Ctr., Atlantic Beach, 241-2599. F BOJ winner. David and Matthew Medure fl ippin’ burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes, familiar fare, moderate prices. Dine inside or outside. $$ BW L D Daily POE’S TAVERN, 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7637. F American gastropub named for the poet. 50+ beers, gourmet burgers, handcut fries, fish tacos, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ FB K L D Daily RAGTIME TAVERN & SEAFOOD GRILL, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Ctr., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877. F For 30 years, popular seafood place has scored many awards in our BOJ readers poll. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily happy hour. $$ FB L D Daily SLIDERS SEAFOOD GRILLE & OYSTER BAR, 218 First St., Beaches Town Ctr., Neptune Beach, 246-0881. Beachcasual atmosphere. Customer faves: fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, homemade ice cream sandwiches. $$ FB K L Sat. & Sun.; D Nightly SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE, 111 Beach Blvd., 482-1000.

F BOJ winner. Full-service bar (with more than 20 beers on tap), TV screens covering entire walls and cheerleader s serving the food. Happy hour Mon.-Fri. $ FB K L D Daily

DOWNTOWN

AMERICAN GRILL, Jacksonville Landing, 353-7522. Fullservice restaurant serves traditional fare: pot pies, steaks, burgers, pizza, pot roast, vegetarian dishes. $$ BW L D Daily BENNY’S STEAK & SEAFOOD, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 175, 301-1014. This steak-and-seafood house serves Continental cuisine with such signature dishes as the Filet Christian. $$$ FB K L D Daily CAFÉ NOLA at MOCAJax, 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911. F Shrimp & grits, gourmet sandwiches, fresh fish tacos, homemade desserts. $$ FB L Mon.-Fri.; D Thur. & ArtWalk CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282. F Chef Sam Hamidi has been serving genuine Italian fare for 36+ years: veal, seafood, gourmet pizza. The homemade salad dressing is a specialty. $$ BW K L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. CASA MARIA, 12961 N. Main St., Ste. 104, 757-6411. F See Beaches. $ FB K L D Daily CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILL, Jax Landing, 354-7747.

F Chicago-style deep-dish pizzas, hot dogs, Italian beef dishes from Chicago’s Comastro family. $$ FB K TO L D Daily CHOMP CHOMP, 106 E. Adams St., 762-4667. F Eats at moderate prices – most less than $10. Chef-inspired street food: panko-crusted chicken, burgers, chinois tacos, bahn mi and barbecue. $ L Tue.-Sat.; D Fri. & Sat. CINCO DE MAYO, Jax Landing, 329-2892. Authentic yet mild dishes: fajitas, tacos, burritos, enchiladas. Dine indoo rs or outside. $$ FB L D Daily FIONN MacCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1547. BOJ winner. This pub offers casual dining with an uptown Irish atmosphere, serving fish and chips, Guinness lamb stew and black-and-tan brownies. $$ FB K L D Daily HOOTERS, Jax Landing, Ste. 103, 356-5400. The chain, popular for its waitresses, features wings, steamed shrimp, oysters, burgers, seafood, sandwiches. $$ FB TO L D Daily KOJA SUSHI, Ste. 222, Jax Landing, 350-9911. F BOJ winner. Owners John and Tony, in the sushi game for 10+ years, offer sushi, sashimi, and Japanese, Asian, Korean cuisine. Hard-to-find items like baby octopus salad, too. Dine inside or out. $$ FB L Mon.-Fri.; D Nightly VILLAGE BREAD CAFE, Ste. 175, Jax Landing, 683-7244.

Locally owned; bagels, omelets, sandwiches on homestyle bread, salads, pizzas, pastries. $ TO B L Mon.-Sat. VITO’S ITALIAN CAFE, Jax Landing, Ste. 174, 355-3002.

Traditional Italian and Mediterranean menu: pasta, steak and

seafood entrées. Desserts, including tiramisu and cannoli, are homemade. Daily happy hour. $ FB L D Daily ZODIAC GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283. American favorites and Mediterranean fare in a casual atmosphere; panini, vegetarian dishes. Daily lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. Happy hour Mon.-Fri. $ FB L Mon.-Fri

FLEMING ISLAND

GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 1915 East-West Pkwy., 541-0009. F BOJ winner. See Riverside. $ BW TO Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1571 C.R. 220, Ste. 100, 215-2223. F See Mandarin. $$ FB TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club certified. BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ BW K TO L D Daily MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. F BOJ. See Beaches. $$ FB K TO L D Daily TAPS BAR & GRILL, 1605 C.R. 220, 278-9421. F 50+ premium domestic, imported beers on tap. Starters, burgers, sandwiches, entrées, made to order with fresh ingredients.

Lots of TVs for watching sports. $$ FB K L D Daily WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198. F Real fish camp serves gator tail, freshwater river catfish, daily specials, traditional meals, on Swimming Pen Creek. Outdoor Tiki bar. Come by boat, motorcycle or car. $ FB K TO L Tue.Sun.; D Nightly

INTRACOASTAL WEST

4 BONES BARBECUE, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 20, 419-9855. Classic Southern barbecue: Pulled pork, brisket, chicken, turkey, ribs, chorizo served market-style by the pound. Mac ’n’ cheese, baked beans, cole slaw, green beans.

Specialty sandwiches, banana pudding. $ K TO L D Tue.-Sat. AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ FB K TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 14286 Beach Blvd., 223-0115. F BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 14333 Beach Blvd., Ste. 39, 992-1666. F Tamales, fajitas and pork tacos are customer favorites. Some La Nops have a full bar. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily THE TENT HOOKAH LOUNGE, 12041 Beach Blvd., Ste. 4, 551-2962. Authentic fare, hookahs and flavored tobacco, specials and live belly dancing and fl oor seating, in keeping with that authenticity thing. Open late. $ BW L D Daily TIME OUT SPORTS GRILL, 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 223-6999. F Locally-owned-and-operated grill serves hand-tossed pizzas, wings, wraps in a clean, sporty atmosphere. Daily drink specials, HD TVs, pool tables, darts, trivia. Late-night menu. $$ FB L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly

JULINGTON CREEK

DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 525 S.R. 16, Ste. 101, St. Johns, 825-4540. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F BOJ winner. See San Marco. $$ R B L Daily TAPS BAR & GRILL, 2220 C.R. 210 W., Ste. 314, St. Johns, 819-1554. F See Fleming Island. $$ FB K L D Daily

MANDARIN

AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ FB K TO L D Daily ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199.

F From the dolmades (stuffed grape leaves) to the baby shoes (stuffed eggplant), Athens has all the favorites. G reek beers. $$ BW L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 10391 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 1, 880-7087. F BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily

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PERFECT VISION Whiskey, burgers and milkshakes in Jax Beach, from the folks

who brought you The Blind Fig

A

warm Belgian chocolate brownie and peanut t The Blind Rabbit, you’ll find a bustling butter mousse, topped with gooey brûléed dining room filled with the chatter of marshmallow. Go for one of the milkshakes bronzed beachgoers and families alike, an as a lighter treat. While the vanilla ($4) was impressive two-page whiskey list and a menu perfectly creamy, for a few bucks more, aim to surely please the pickiest of eaters. The spot high and get the maple bacon ($7), which, — in business now for six months — is the as the name suggests, is mixed with baconbrainchild of local restaurateurs John and Jeff infused Buffalo Trace bourbon.

Stanford, who also own and operate The Blind Fig in Riverside. (The Rabbit’s Open daily from 11:30 a.m. dining room is much larger to 2 a.m., The Blind Rabbit is THE BLIND RABBIT than the Fig’s, and the back wall 311 N. Third St., Ste. 107, an excellent choice for grabbing touts a colorful mural by local a meal or beverage when you’re Jax Beach, 595-5915, artist Shaun Thurston, who also theblindrabbitwhiskeybar.com at the beach. Local craft drafts created the detailed mural on (say that three times fast) are the Fig’s exterior.) half-price ($2.50) during the We began with bacon and corn croquettes daily 4-7 p.m. happy hour. Various daily specials ($8), served atop a nicely presented bed of include $10 bottomless mimosas on Sundays creamy diced avocado, corn, microgreens and and $10 moonshine flights on Mondays. jalapeño-tomato hot sauce. They were crisp on Caron Streibich the outside and delightfully soft on the inside. biteclub@folioweekly.com With a portion serving of five, these largerfacebook.com/folioweeklybitesized than-a-hushpuppy fried balls are an easily shared appetizer.

NIBBLES After perusing the multiple burger options, Popular St. Augustine artisan ice pop store The I landed on The Southern Burger ($12) — fried Hyppo has started a Kickstarter campaign in an green tomato, Creole pimento cheese, peach effort to place its pops in grocery stores. Donate habañero hot sauce, arugula, Georgia cane today: bit.ly/HyppoGourmet syrup and pickled okra spears — accompanied by sweet potato fries and several dipping sauces PULP Avondale plans to open this week. Like (curry mayo, bourbon-spiked Creole mustard the San Marco PULP, the new location will offer and spicy ketchup), all of which were winners. coffee, tea, smoothies and frozen yogurt.

So was the burger.

The shrimp rémoulade salad ($15) was The Public House (formerly Bubba Burger Grill) another standout. Butter lettuce, grape tomatoes, at Baymeadows and I-295, which opened in long pieces of hearts of palm, fried green November 2013, has closed. tomato, red bell pepper, celery and red onions tango with jumbo shrimp tossed in a creamy The Dim Sum Room within Watami Asian Fusion rémoulade dressing. The artful presentation and Buffet & Lounge is open daily from 11 a.m.-10 p.m. size of the shrimp were impressive. on Southside Boulevard in the Southside Square The s’mores brownie ($6) was much too Shopping Center. rich — layers of graham cracker crumbs,

34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 2-8, 2014

© 2014

GRILL ME!

DINING DIRECTORY A WEEKLY Q&A WITH PEOPLE IN THE FOOD BIZ

NAME: Courtney O’Quinn

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER

RESTAURANT: Hawkers Asian Street Fare, 1001 Park St., Riverside BIRTHPLACE: Jacksonville

MOXIE KITCHEN + COCKTAILS, 4972 Big Island Dr., 998-9744. Chef Tom Gray’s new place features innovative contemporary American cuisine – seafood, steaks, pork, burgers, salads, sides and desserts – using locally sourced ingredients when possible. $$$ FB K L Mon.-Fri.; D Nightly MSHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $$ BW L D Daily OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr., 900-7730. BOJ winner. Comfortable, chic place has tapas and small plates of Spanish and Italian flavors: ceviche fresco, pappardelle bolognese. 240-bottle wine list, 75 by the glass, craft spirits.

Outdoor dining; bocce court. $$ FB R, Sun.; D Nightly

YEARS IN THE BIZ: 10

FAVORITE RESTAURANT (other than mine): The Fox Restaurant in Avondale FAVORITE COOKING STYLE: To wok it out!

FAVORITE INGREDIENTS: Wok-hei!

IDEAL MEAL: Ramen burger WILL NOT CROSS MY LIPS: Nothing yet.

INSIDER’S SECRET: Five spice & everything nice.

SAN JOSE, LAKEWOOD

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: None yet; still waiting.

CULINARY TREAT: Swine is divine!

HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 30, 880-3040. F American-style steakhouse features Angus steaks, gourmet burgers, ribs, wraps. $$ FB K L D Mon.-Sat. KAZU JAPANESE RESTAURANT, 9965 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 35, 683-9903. The new place has a wide variety of soups, dumplings, appetizers, salads, bento boxes, sushi, entrées, maki handrolls, sashimi. $$ FB TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA, 11700 San Jose Blvd., 288-0175. F Tamales, fajitas and pork tacos are customer favorites. Some locations offer a full bar. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 11365 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 674-2945. F See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily THE RED ELEPHANT PIZZA & GRILL, 10131 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 12, 683-3773. F This casual, family-friendly eatery serves pizzas, sandwiches, grill specials, burgers and pasta dishes. Gluten-free friendly. $ FB K L D Daily RENNA’S PIZZA, 11111 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 12, 292-2300.

F Casual New York-style pizzeria. Calzones, antipasto, parmigiana, homemade breads. $$ BW K TO L D Daily

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

ARON’S PIZZA, 650 Park Ave., 269-1007. F Family-owned restaurant has eggplant dishes, manicotti, New York-style pizzas. $$ BW K TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 1540 Wells Rd., 269-2122. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Road, 272-5959. Southernstyle dining. Specialties: New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. $$$ FB D Tue.-Sat. KRISTIN’S ON THE RIVER, 2511 Blanding Blvd., 389-9455.

This newly re-opened spot serves seafood and American favorites. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 9734 Crosshill Blvd., 908-4250. 2024 Kingsley Ave., 276-2776. F See Mandarin. $$ FB TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., 276-7370.

1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove Springs, 284-7789. F All over the area, they pile ’em high and serve ’em fast. Hot/cold subs, soups, salads. $ K TO B L D Daily THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611. F Wings, sandwiches, burgers, quesadillas; 35+ years. Pool tables, dartboards, foosball, TVs. 75+ imported beers. $ FB L D Daily

PONTE VEDRA, NW ST. JOHNS

AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A N., 543-1494. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ FB K TO L D Daily CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATES, 145 Hilden Rd., Ste. 122, 829-5790. Hand-crafted in the onsite factory, with premium Belgian chocolate, fruits, nuts and spices. Cookies and popsicles. Claude’s will ship your order. $$ TO LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 830 A1A N., Ste. 6, 273-3993. F See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily RESTAURANT MEDURE, 818 A1A N., 543-3797. Chef David Medure creates with a wide range of global flavors.

The lounge offers small plates, creative drinks and entertainment, including happy hour twice daily. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat.

RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE

AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ FB K TO L D Daily BLACK SHEEP RESTAURANT, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793.

BOJ winner. Orsay’s sister restaurant serves New American favorites with a Southern twist, made with locally sourced ingredients. Awesome rooftop bar. $$$ FB R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 869 Stockton St., Stes.

1-2, 855-1181. F BOJ winner. Small-batch, artisanal approach to roasting coffee. Organic, fair trade. $ BW TO B L Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 234-8843, facebook.com/ cornertaco. Made-from-scratch “semi-swanky street food” – tacos, nachos and salads, plus gluten-free and vegetarian options, in a bricks-and-mortar building. $ BW L D Tue.-Sun. DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 5972 San Juan Ave., Westside,

693-9258. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 2007 Park St., 384-4474. F BOJ winner. Juice bar has cer tified organic fruit, vegetables. Artisanal cheese, 300+ craft/import beer, organic wines, produce, meats, wraps, raw, vegan. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS, 1001 Park St., 508-0342. The new spot is based on Asian street vendors. A collection of hawker recipes is served under one roof. $ BW TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794.

7895 Normandy Blvd., 781-7600. 5733 Roosevelt Blvd., Westside, 446-9500. 8102 Blanding Blvd., Westside, 779-1933. F See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., Ortega, 999-4600.

F BOJ winner. See San Marco. $$ R B L Daily MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442.

F BOJ winner. See Amelia Island. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434.

F Southwestern dishes like fresh fish tacos and chicken enchiladas are popular. Happy hour runs Mon.-Sat. in the upstairs lounge, and all day Sun. $$ FB K L D Daily O’BROTHERS IRISH PUB, 1521 Margaret St., 854-9300.

F Traditional Irish fare like shepherd’s pie with Stilton crust, Guinness mac-n-cheese and, of course, fish-n-chips.

Outdoor patio dining is available. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SUN-RAY CINEMA, 1028 Park St., 359-0049. F Beer (Bold City, Intuition Ale Works), wine, pizza, hot dogs, hummus, sandwiches, popcorn, nachos, brownies. $$ BW Daily

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F BOJ winner.

See Beaches. $ FB K TO L D Daily AVILES RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, 32 Avenida Menendez, 829-2277. F Hilton Bayfront Hotel. Progressive Europeanflavored menu; made-to-order pasta night, wine dinners, chophouse nights, deluxe breakfast buffet. Sun. champagne brunch bottomless mimosas. Free valet. $$$ FB K B L D Daily CANDLELIGHT SOUTH, 1 Anastasia Blvd., 819-0588. F Brand-new on the island, the casual restaurant originally in Scarsdale, N.Y., offers fish tacos, sandwiches, wings, desserts and sangria. Daily specials. $ BW K TO L D Daily CARMELO’S MARKETPLACE & PIZZERIA, 146 King St., 494-6658. F New York-style brick-oven-baked pizza, fresh sub rolls, Boar’s Head meats, cheeses, garlic herb wings.

Outdoor seating, Wi-Fi. $$ BW TO L D Daily CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATES, 6 Granada St., 829-5790. Inside The Market. Wine and chocolate pairings, soft-serve ice cream, a coffee bar, fresh fruit ice pops, cookies. $$ TO CRUISERS GRILL, 3 St. George St., 824-6993. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ BW K L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 4010 U.S. 1 S., 547-2669. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655. Updated Southern fare: fresh, local ingredients from area farms.

Vegetarian, gluten-free options. Signature items: fried green tomato bruschetta, grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D Wed.-Mon. GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., Anastasia Island, 824-8244. F A mainstay for a quarter-century, Gypsy’s menu changes twice daily. Signature dish is Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. $$ FB R Sun.; L D Daily HARRY’S SEAFOOD BAR & GRILLE, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765. F New Orleans-style. Cajun, Creole, Southern flavors with a modern twist: fresh seafood, steaks, pork, jambalaya, shrimp. Daily happy hour. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 155 Hampton Point Dr., 230-7879. F See Mandarin. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F Bite Club certified. BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ BW K TO L D Daily MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova St., 342-5264. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $$ FB K TO L D Daily PACIFIC ASIAN BISTRO, 159 Palencia Village Dr., Ste. 111, 808-1818. F BOJ winner. Chef Mas Lui creates 30+ unique sushi rolls; fresh sea scallops, H awaiian-style poke tuna salad. $$-$$$ BW L D Daily TEMPO, 16 Cathedral Place, 547-0240. The newish fusion restaurant specializes in healthful American fare with a Latin flair. $$ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun.

CRUISERS GRILL, 5613 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 1, 737-2874.

BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ BW K L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110.

BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688. F New upscale sushi spot serves fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ K L D Daily MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200.

F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $$ FB K TO B L D Daily

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK, ST. NICHOLAS

BASIL THAI & SUSHI, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190. F Pad Thai, curries, sushi, served in a relaxing environment.

Dine indoors or on the patio. $$ FB L D Mon.-Sat. THE GROTTO WINE & TAPAS BAR, 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726. F Varied tapas menu of artisanal cheese plates, empanadas, bruschettas, homestyle cheesecake. 60+ wines by the glass. $$$ BW Tue.-Sun. LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1631 Hendricks Ave., 399-1768. F See Mandarin. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922. Matthew Medure’s flagship. Fine dining, European-style atmosphere.

Artfully presented cuisine, small plates, extensive martini/ wine lists. Reservations. $$$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701. F BOJ winner. Original upscale diner in a historic 1930s-era building.

Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, homemade soups. $$ B R L Daily PIZZA PALACE 1959 San Marco Blvd., 399-8815. F See Baymeadows. $$ BW TO L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE

360° GRILLE, LATITUDE 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555.

F Seafood, steaks, burgers, chicken, sandwiches, pizza.

Dine inside, on patio. $$ FB TO L D Daily ALHAMBRA THEATRE & DINING, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212. Longest-running dinner theater features Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s menus coordinated with stage productions. Reservations suggested. $$ FB D Tue.-Sun. CASA MARIA, 14965 Old St. Augustine Rd., 619-8186. F See Beaches. $ FB K L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 619-0954.

BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily THE DIM SUM ROOM, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138D, 363-9888. In Watami. All-you can-eat sushi, choice of two items from teppanyaki grill. $ FB K L D Daily.

LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff S., 641-6499.

4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F See Orange Park. BOJ winner. $ K TO B L D Daily MANGIA! ITALIAN BISTRO & BAR, 3210 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 551-3061. F Chef/owner Tonino DiBella offers fine dining – fresh seafood, veal, steaks, New York-style pizza, desserts.

Happy hour Mon.-Sat. Patio. $$$ FB K TO L D Mon.-Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 997-1955. F See Beaches. Bite Club certified.

BOJ winner. $ BW K TO L D Daily SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY, 9735 Gate Pkwy. N., 997-1999. F Local seafood, steaks, pizzas. Brewer Aaron Nesbit handcrafts award-winning freshly brewed ales and lagers. Inside, outdoors. $$ FB K TO L D Daily TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Court, 854-0426. F Bite Club certified. BOJ winner. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, wines, desserts. Belly dancing. $$ FB K L D Daily WORLD OF BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Court, Ste. 1, 551-5929.

F Apps and bar food: German pretzels, hummus, pickle chips, fl atbreads. Craft drafts from Germany, California, Florida (Bold City brews), Ireland, Belgium. $$ BW L D Daily

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., Ste. 101, 619-9828. F BOJ winner. NASCAR-themed spot has 365 kinds of wings, half-pound burgers, ribs. $ FB K TO L D Daily HOLA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1001 N. Main, 356-3100.

F Fresh Mexican fare: fajitas, burritos, enchiladas, daily specials. Happy hour daily; sangria. $ BW K TO L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner, 764-9999. See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily SAVANNAH BISTRO, 14670 Duval Rd., 741-4404. F Low Country Southern fare, twist of Mediterranean and French at Crowne Plaza Airport. Crab cakes, New York strip, she crab soup, mahi mahi. Rainforest Lounge. $$$ FB K B L D Daily.

APRIL 2-8, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35

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ARIES (March 21-April 19): In his novel The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera says the brain has “a special area which we might call poetic memory and which records everything that charms or touches us, that makes our lives beautiful.” In the days ahead, it’s really important to tap into this power spot in your gray matter. Activate and stir up stored feelings of enchantment – it’ll make you fully alert and available for new delights swirling in your sphere. The operative principle? Like attracts like.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Our ancestors could see the Milky Way Galaxy spread out across the heavens every clear night. Galileo said it was so bright, it cast a shadow of his body on the ground. But today that glorious spectacle is invisible to us city-dwellers. The sky after sundown is polluted with artificial light hiding 90 percent of the 2,000 stars we’d otherwise see. If you want to bask in natural illumination, go to a remote area where the darkness is deeper.

That’s your metaphor. Proceed on the hypothesis that a luminous source of beauty is concealed from you. To be aware of it, seek a more profound darkness.

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don’t demand your total attention and I don’t need your unconditional approval. I’ll never restrict your freedom or push you to explain yourself. All truly_wantChecked do is to warm in theRep glow LT_ of your Produced Iby by myself Sales ©to 2014 intelligence. Can you accept that? My theory is, your sparkle is contagious – I’ll get smarter about how to live my life if I’m simply in your presence. What do you say?

In return, I promise to deepen your appreciation for you and show you secrets how best to wield your infl uence.

— Your Secret Admirer.”

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Cancerian artist Rembrandt became one of the world’s greatest painters. It was a struggle. “I can’t paint the way they want me to paint,” he said about those who questioned his innovative approach. “I’ve tried and I have © 2014 tried very hard, but I can’t do it. I just can’t do it!” We’re glad the master failed to meet critics’ expectations. His work’s unique beauty didn’t get watered down. But there was a price to pay. “That is why I am just a little crazy,” Rembrandt concluded. Moral of the story: To be true to your vision and faithful to your purpose, you may have to deal with being a little crazy. Are you willing?

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Indian spiritual teacher Nisargadatta Maharaj offered a three-stage © 2014fable to symbolize one’s progression toward enlightenment. In the first stage, you’re in a cage in a forest where a tiger prowls. You’re protected by the cage, so the tiger can’t hurt you. On the other hand, you’re trapped. In the second stage, the tiger’s in the cage and you roam the forest freely. The beautiful animal is trapped. In the third stage, the tiger’s out of the cage and you’ve tamed it. It’s your ally and you’re riding on its back. This sequence resembles the story you’ll be living in the months ahead. Right now, you’re in the cage and the tiger’s outside. By mid-May, the tiger will be in the cage and you’ll be outside. By your birthday, I expect you to be riding the tiger.

36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 2-8, 2014

ASTROLOGY

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): What is “soul work”? It’s like when you make an unpredictable gift for someone you love. Or bravely identify one of your unripe qualities and resolve to use all your willpower and ingenuity to ripen it. Soul work is when you wade into a party of rowdy drunks and put your meditation skills to the acid test. It’s like when you teach yourself to tolerate smoldering ambiguity, be amused by it and even thrive on it. Can you think of others? It’s your Soul Work Week.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Are you close to anyone who’s a catalytic listener? Is there a person who tunes in to what you say with such fervent receptivity, you’re inspired to reveal truths you didn’t realize you knew? If so, invite this superstar to a free lunch or two in the days ahead. If not, find one.

It’s always a blessing to have a heart-to-heart talk with a soul friend, but it’s more crucial than usual to treat yourself to this luxury now. Hints of lost magic are near the surface of your awareness. They’re still unconscious, but could emerge into full view during provocative conversations with an empathetic ally.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): On my blog, I quoted pioneering science-fiction author and futurist Ray Bradbury: “You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.” I asked readers what word they’d use in place of “writing” to describe how they avoided being destroyed by reality. Popular responses: love, music, whiskey, prayer, dreams, gratitude, yoga. One woman testified she stayed drunk on sexting, another said “collecting gargoyles from medieval cathedrals,” and a third claimed her secret was “jumping over hurdles riding a horse.” There was even a rebel who declared she stayed drunk on writing so she could destroy reality. My question is important to meditate on. Right now, do whatever’s needed to not be messed with by reality.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Does your mother know what you’re up to these days?

You’d better hope not. I doubt she’d approve, a fact which might inhibit your enthusiasm for all the experiments you’re exploring. Keep your father out of the loop too, as well as other honchos, cynics or loved ones who may be upset if you wander outside the usual boundaries. As for those clucking voices in your head: Give them milk and cookies, but pay no mind to the cautious advice. Be free of the past, fearful influences and the self you’re outgrowing.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): For the foreseeable future, don’t spend time wrangling with bureaucrats and know-it-alls. Avoid frustrating projects requiring meticulous discipline. Don’t even think about catching up on paperwork, organizing the junk drawer or planning your career’s next five years.

Instead, focus on long meandering walks to nowhere in particular. Daydream about an epic movie based on your life story. Flirt with being a lazy bum. Why? Good ideas and wise decisions are likely to percolate as you lounge around doing nothing, feeling no guilt.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Are you waiting? Are you wondering and hoping?

Calculating if you’re needed and how much?

Do you wish the signs were a bit more clear regarding just how deeply you should commit? Are you on edge as you try to gauge what your exact role is in the grand scheme of things? Here’s a message from the universe on how to proceed; it’s from an Emily Dickinson poem: “They might not need me but – they might – / I’ll let my Heart be just in sight – / A smile so small as mine might be / Precisely their necessity – ” PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You will soon get a second chance. A past opportunity on which you failed to capitalize some time ago will now re-emerge in a more welcoming guise, and you snag it this time. You weren’t ready the first time around, but you are now! It’s probably a good thing the connection didn’t happen earlier because, at that time, the magic wasn’t fully ripe, but it’s ripe now!

Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

POOL BOY & FORMER POOL GIRL We were parked next to each other. You weren’t satisfied with the car wash. I borrowed your vacuum. Loved your tattoo. I should have ... Haven’t/can’t stop thinking about you. When: Sunday, March 23. Where: CarBux San Jose. #1344-0402 BEAUTIFUL ASIAN AT PAPA JOHN’S ARGYLE You: Asian and beautiful, drives late model Hyundai. We made eye contact briefly. I feel like a fool for not asking for your number. Describe me and let’s start the revolution.

When: March 19. Where: Papa John’s. #1343-0326 BURGER SLINGIN’ BEAUTY You: Breathtaking brunette behind the counter, providing magical burgers to all lucky enough to be in your presence.

Me: Tall, dark-haired gentleman who catches you gazing intimately into my eyes every Tuesday. OK, yes, it’s mutual.

So what do you say we skip the small talk and make this thing official? When: March 18. Where: MShack Atlantic Beach. #1342-0326 CONVERSATION SURPRISE You: Attractive SWF, 5’2”-4”, 130, nonsmoker, athletic, late 50s-early-60s. Afternoon conversation, coffee, you nearly choked when I asked if you’d be interested in “friends with benefits LTR.” Gave your cell number; can’t fi nd. Me: SWM, 5’8”, 185, nonsmoker, excellent health, early 70s, recently retired successful executive, homeowner. When: Jan. 15.

Where: Starbucks. #1341-0312 SWEATY CYCLIST SEEKS SEXY SITTER You: Beautiful, Middle-Eastern-looking au pair, pumping gas at Gate; two kids. Me: Fit, ginger, sun-glistened cyclist.

Our eyes locked, my heart pulled a wheelie. My Schwinn couldn’t keep up with your Audi. Drop kids; then see what my cyclist pants can barely contain. When: March 1. Where: Gate Gas Station. #1340-0312 BATHROOMS & SOUP? Me: Short, red-headed woman, black uniform. You: Gorgeous blue eyes, grey shirt, almost-shaved blond hair. First, you asked where the bathroom was; I clumsily answered. Then, we saw each other in the check-out lane.

You and my mom talked about soup myths. I’d really like to get to know you. :) When: March 2. Where: Barnes & Noble, San Jose Blvd. #1339-0305 MOST BEAUTIFUL NURSE You: Most caring nurse I’ve ever seen. Short, brown-haired Latin goddess with glasses and always smiling. V., you are so good with the children you take care of. Would love to take you out some time. When: Feb. 7. Where: Wolfson ICU. #1338-0305 I SWEAR I’M NOT AN ALCOHOLIC! That’s the only line I could think of at the time to talk to you.

We chatted and joked for a few, then I got dragged off by my friends and lost you. Me: Red hair, black mini, knee-high boots. You: Short brown hair, looking dapper. See you there again? When: Feb. 14. Where: Eclipse. #1337-0226 ASKED TO READ MY MIND For two years, I’ve thought about you every day and dreamed about you every night! You: Curious & Disturbed.

Me: Glasses. When: Every day. Where: The neighborhood. #1336-0226 POWERHOUSE HOTTIE I remember how rough your hand felt on mine as we reached for the same 15-pound dumbbell. I recommended

lifting gloves to help keep your hands soft. You liked my Magnum PI-style moustache. You said you may try to grow one. Let’s get together and watch “Silence of the Lambs.”

When: Feb. 2. Where: Powerhouse Gym. #1335-0212 YOU’VE GOT MAIL We were both at the library to check our emails. You must be “without home” like me. Your blonde unkempt hair was appealing. You caught my good eye when you walked in. I’d love to have a cup of recycled coffee with you some day.

I’m available 24/7. When: Feb. 3. Where: Public Library. #1334-0212

ADVERTISING PROOF

SHARK TEETH & T&A You: At the end of the bar with your braid just lying on your chest. I bought you and your friends a shot but I really just wanted to buy you one. Round two?

When: Feb. 5. Where: Flying Iguana. #1333-0212 FROZEN FOODS HOTTIE You: Green pants, white shirt, brown boots, beautiful black hair. Me: Tall, slim, blue shirt, curly Afro. I see you in the frozen foods section on your lunch hour sometimes.

You look like you just know how to own life. Teach me how? When: Jan. 22. Where: Winn-Dixie, Edgewood & Commonwealth. #1332-0212

PROMISE OF BENEFIT

BEAUTIFUL LADY IN BROWN HAT ISU at Bonefi sh Grill having drinks with a girlfriend and we made eye-to-eye contact numerous times. You wore a large rimmed brown hat and a long plaid skirt. I had on a gold shirt with a green vest. Would love to have dinner together at Bonefish. Hope to hear from you. When: Jan. 28. Where: Bonefish Grill. #1331-0205

NEED A BRUSH Saw you at Bento. You were confidently comfortable in your underarmor and ruffled hair. You paid for my shrimp tempura. Meet me under the two paintings Feb. 14 at 11 p.m. When: Feb. 1. Where: Bento. #1330-0205 WE LOCKED EYES You parked grey pickup by Walgreen’s.

Walked by, looked; locked eyes. I drove metallic SUV. We spoke, flirted, smiled. You left, I went behind Walgreens.

You still there; locked eyes again. Still looking, you left.

Horns honked. Me: Black female. You: White male. Let’s see where it goes. When: 3 p.m. Dec. 22. Where: Walgreen’s, Normandy. #1329-0129

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ADVENTURE LANDING BASKETBALL DAD You: Handsome dad of teen shooting hoops near the snack area. Me: Mom of birthday boy. Lots of eye contact.

Hoping for more! When: Jan. 17. Where: Adventure Landing/Blanding Blvd. #1328-0129 IN WALGREENS LINE You: Tall, handsome, beard, shopping with young daughter. Me: Blue-eyed brunette, ponytails, ballcap, black workout gear behind you in line. We made eye contact. Hope it was daughter’s presence, not my makeup lack, that kept you from saying, “Hi.” When: Jan. 18. Where: Walgreens @ C.R. 210 & C.R. 2209. #1327-0122 BRIGHT YELLOW HEELS You: Tall brunette at Target San Jose/295 19 Jan.; short black dress, black tights. Your bright yellow heels caught my eye. You checked out faster than I did; I couldn’t catch up in parking lot. Me: Tall, blue hat. We made eye contact right before you checked out. When: Jan. 19. Where: Target on San Jose/295. #1326-0122 RED DRESS BISTRO AIX Me: Awesome. You: Decent, wearing a red dress. Called you a name starting with “J.” You left. Let’s do it again. When: Jan. 11. Where: Bistro Aix. #1325-0115

YOU ARE:

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APRIL 2-8, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

FOLIO WEEKLY PUZZLER by Merl Reagle. Presented by

JOB SECURITY IN THE PAPERWORK MINE PONTE VEDRA SAN MARCO SOUTHSIDE AVONDALE AVENUES MALL 2044 SAN MARCO BLVD. THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA 3617 ST. JOHNS AVE. 330 A1A NORTH 10300 SOUTHSIDE BLVD. 398-9741 388-5406 280-1202 394-1390

New Words I’d Like To See

83 Government in which the people only think they’re in charge?

85 Pizazz 86 Sister of Zsa Zsa 88 Pear variety 89 How mathematicians drink their beers?

93 Old company name, ___ Nabisco 94 Cat’s disapproval 98 Responsibility 99 Plains native 100 Dutch artist Jan 102 Barracks VIP 103 Reagan-era prog.

104 Sound gravelly 107 Committer of a crime, and a rat to boot?

110 Set up a tent 112 Astronomer Brahe 113 “God ___ refuge” (Psalms 46:1) 114 Wails from the crypt?

116 Junk mail?

120 Oft-dunked sweet 121 Like some blog comments: abbr.

122 Duty-free 123 Toon collectible 124 Hey, the quiet way 125 Artist Magritte 126 Young dates of older women, perhaps 127 The “good” cholesterol DOWN 1 Utilizes 2 ___ d’honneur (duel) 3 Psychologist who wrote “Walden Two” 4 Mouths off to 5 Start to form?

6 ___-cone 7 Bit of wit 8 Pass, as time 9 West Pointer 10 Like some paradises 11 Sitarist’s first name 12 It’s after you?

13 Brasserie list 14 Receded 15 Ointment applicator 16 Sony rival 17 Pizza spice 18 Stock holder 24 Mr. Smith who went

ACROSS 1 Article in a German paper 4 Possible perp 11 You can bet on it 15 Use a cart, perhaps 19 1960s atty. gen.

20 Ring-shaped 21 Gulf states resident 22 Hidden mike 23 One who’s just wild about nuclear physics?

25 Strictly against Navy regulations?

27 Declines 28 Fountain choice 30 Green or black packet 31 Like the perfect working relationship of lazy, lusty, greedy people?

35 Buntline and Rorem 36 Field cry 38 Dig this 39 Start the game, perhaps 40 Part of a suit 42 “Yikes!”

43 Soft-ball brand 45 Method 46 The tendency of tennis players to play better the older they get?

50 Trim articles 52 Less vibrant 53 Bank deposit?

54 Obsessed with buttons?

58 Pass along, as a story 60 Danseur’s step 63 Floored 64 Iridescent gem 66 Deferential 68 Solemn act 69 Full impact of a kick?

72 The Ghostbusters’ license plate, ___ 1 73 Engraver Durer 76 Off the mark 77 Absorb completely 79 Actress Susan 80 Uris novel 1

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38 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 2-8, 2014

In February, officials in Sudan seized at least 70 female sheep that had male sexual organs sewn on — the result of livestock smugglers trying to circumvent export restrictions. Ewes are valued more highly, and their sale is limited.

Authorities had been treating the inspections as routine until they spotted one “ram” urinating from the female posture.

Michael Schell, 24, and Jessica Briggs, 31, were arrested on several charges in Minot, N.D., in February when police were called to a convenience store because Schell and Briggs had commandeered a restroom and were having noisy sex. The store is part of the Iowa-based chain of 400 serving the Midwest that go by the name Kum & Go.

DEMOCRACY BLUES

U.S. Rep. Robert Andrews announced his retirement in February, after 23 years of representing his New Jersey district, and in “tribute,” The Washington Post suggested he might be the least successful lawmaker of the past two decades, in that he’d sponsored a total of 646 pieces of legislation — more than any of his contemporaries — but not a single one became law. In fact, Andrews hasn’t accomplished even the easiest of all bill-sponsoring — to name a post office or a courthouse.

BEST MAN FOR THE JOB

November election returns for the city council of Flint, Mich., revealed that voters chose two convicted felons (Wantwaz Davis and Eric Mays) and two other candidates who’d been through federal bankruptcy. Davis never publicized his 1991 second-degree murder plea, but said he talked about it while campaigning. The Flint Journal acknowledged that it had vetted Davis’ record poorly.

SMOOTH CRIMINAL

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Did nothing, perhaps Nail’s partner Clan symbol ___ bag (prepare for a trip) Bit of hijinks Expressionless Judy’s field Pat down Erstwhile teen drama on Fox Watergate figure Suggestion To be, to Guy

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“The trucks full of paperwork come every day,” wrote The Washington Post in March, down a country road in Boyers, Pa., north of Pittsburgh, and descend “into the earth” to deliver federal retiree applications to the eight “supermarket”sized caverns 230 feet below ground where Office of Personnel Management bureaucrats process them — manually — and store them in 28,000 metal filing cabinets. Applications thus take 61 days on average to process (compared to Texas’ automated system, which takes two). One step requires a record’s index to be digitized — but a later step requires that the digital portion be printed out for further manila-foldered file work.

OPM blames contractors’ technology failures and bizarrely complicated retirement laws, but no relief is in sight except the hiring of more workers. Fortunately, cave-bound paper-shuffling is a well-regarded job around Boyers.

96

97

The Internal Revenue Service reportedly hit the estate of Michael Jackson recently with a federal income tax bill of $702 million because of undervaluing properties that it owned — including a valuation on the Jackson-owned catalog of Beatles songs at “zero.” The estate reckoned the King of Pop was worth a total of $7 million upon his death in 2009, but IRS placed the number at $1.125 billion. In 2012 alone, according to Forbes magazine, Jackson earned more than any other celebrity, living or dead — about $160 million.

INEXPLICABLE

The North Somerset office of Britain’s National

Health Service issued a formal apology in January to Leanda Preston, 31, who had accused it of “racism” because of the pass phrase she received to access the system for an appointment to manage her fibromyalgia. Preston, who is black, had received the random, computer-generated pass phrase “charcoal shade,” which she complained was “offensive,” demonstrating that NHS therefore lacked “decency” and “common sense.”

UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT

A Florida appeals court tossed out an $80,000 anti-discrimination settlement in February because the beneficiary’s teenage daughter couldn’t keep from bragging about it — even though the terms of the settlement required confidentiality. Miami’s Gulliver Proprietary School had offered the sum to former headmaster Patrick Snay to make Snay’s lawsuit go away, but Dana Snay almost immediately told her 1,200 Facebook friends that “Gulliver is now officially paying for my vacation to Europe this summer. Suck it.” Wrote the court, “[Snay’s] daughter did precisely what the confidentiality agreement was designed to prevent.”

PERSPECTIVE

A controversial landmark U.S. Supreme Court decision in 2005 for the first time allowed a city to force unwilling owners to sell private property, not for a school, police station or other traditional municipal necessity, but just because a developer promised to improve the neighborhood. Consequently, longtime residents like Susette Kelo were forced off their land because the city of New London, Conn., had hopes of a prosperous buildup anchored by a new facility from drugmaker Pfizer. The Weekly Standard magazine reported in February that, nine years down the road, Pfizer has backed out, and the 90-acre area of New London in which Kelo and others were bulldozed from is waisthigh in weeds — an even worse blight than that which New London sacrificed private property rights to prevent.

NEWS OF THE SELF-INDULGENT

Plastic surgeons have performed beard implants, but only for men with facial scarring or for female-to-male transgenders. Recently, New York city surgeons report an uptick in business by men solely to achieve the proper aesthetic look. According to the New York City website DNAinfo, the procedure is the same as for hair transplants, taking eight hours, at about $7,000.

Said veteran plastic surgeon Dr. Jeffrey Epstein, “Whether you’re talking about the Brooklyn hipster or the advertising executive, the look is definitely to have a bit of facial hair.”

CREME DE LA WEIRD

Cable’s TLC channel (formerly, The Learning Channel) recently completed its fifth season of My Strange Addiction, mostly starring a host of compulsives who apparently cannot refrain from eating that which should not be eaten (mattress stuffing, diapers, plastic bags, makeup — plus the engaging Heather Bell, who eats paint, to her a “thicker version of warm milk”).

The full-body-suited “Living Dolls” (reported here recently) led off the season — the first time NOTW and the show had shared a subject since Ms. Jazz Sinkfield exhibited her 24-inch fingernails (on each finger, totaling almost 20 feet of superfluous nail) in Season 2 (and in NOTW in 2012) and the 22-procedure breastenhancer Sheyla Hershey appeared in Season 3 (and in NOTW in 2010).

Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net

BACKPAGE EDITORIAL

THE TRUTH ABOUT STAND YOUR GROUND What Wes Denham gets wrong about the law

W

If there was no es Denham has written article after means to avoid article about Stand Your Ground. confrontation consistent Yet, he criticizes fellow media for its with your own safety, “hullabaloo” over the law in his most recent you could freely stand and “shoot, stab, column [Crime City, “Stand Your Wallet,” bludgeon, punch, kick or bite.” The elderly March 12]. He further criticizes the deceased, woman has never been required in this their families and their lawyers. Let me offer country to turn her back and run — ever. We some criticism of my own. did not have an epidemic of rape that this What I found when I researched Mr. law resolved. And yet writers like Denham Denham was that he was not a lawyer, police are allowed to insinuate that America was officer or probation officer. Even the books a nation riddled with women and children penned by him are ridiculed by lawyers and being hunted down and killed by their legal minds alike in reviews. This hardly attackers because there was no right to “stand qualifies someone in most cities to have a your ground.” It’s shameful. crime column.

And then there’s Denham’s assertion that act was not in self-defense.

Let me get to the point of my rebuttal. “prosecutors, defense attorneys and police” Finally, the 2005 law ends with one more There were more than a dozen errors have been “conspicuously absent” from vulgar line: It is OK to kill in self-defense if in Denham’s column, starting with his speeches by “weeping families.” Denham the killer “reasonably believes it is necessary” description of self-defense laws and Stand obviously didn’t take time to even research his to kill. So, the judge and jury must take the Your Ground. The battleground over one’s column at all. David LaBahn (the president killer’s word — his or her “reasonable” belief duty to retreat is not a “single sentence” and and CEO of the Association of Prosecuting — to decide if the killing was justified. This Stand Your Ground is not merely a criminal Attorneys), Ronald S. Sullivan Jr. (the director empowers prejudice and vitiates the sanctity (or civil) immunity battle. of the Criminal Justice Institute at Harvard of life. There was nothing wrong with the law In the early 2000s, the NRA couldn’t get enough money to legislators to have its agenda Law School), Chief Scott Knight (former chair before. Now, it allows anyone with a legal gun of the International Association of Chiefs of and enough sense to lie when facing life in sufficiently passed, so the United Sportsmen Police), and dozens and dozens of others have prison to get out of jail free. of Florida (USF) was created to double up spoken out about Stand Your Ground and sat donation revenue. Awards were then given to And since Denham brought it up, the state representatives, including Dennis Baxley, right next to my clients at these very hearings. immunity from civil suit applies only when R-Ocala, the NRA’s 2004 Defender of Freedom I spoke not as a lawyer for the family, but criminal immunity is given. A simple notas a dad. So not only do I resent Denham’s Award winner and, incidentally, the 2005 guilty verdict does not eliminate the civil Stand Your Ground cocause of action for wrongful draftsman. The other power death. Despite that, insurance behind the bill was Marion carriers have exclusions The judge and jury must take the Hammer, the head of both for most, if not all, of these killer’s word to decide if the killing was justified. the NRA and USF. They incidents. We anxiously sold fear of home invasion This empowers prejudice and vitiates the sanctity of life. await a case in which we can and rape to empower the show that the civil immunity legal gun owner to kill — provision is unconstitutional statement that “weeping families” and their few questions asked. as long as the state is the only one allowed to Coincidentally, since 2005, gun speak on behalf of crime victims on the issue lawyers were the only ones who testified as manufacturers have contributed well over $40 in court. The state represents the citizens, utterly untrue, but it was also grossly offensive million to the NRA. Fear sells. not the victims. It is a conflict of interest, and heartless. Do not judge the family of a This isn’t an exaggeration. Backers of the a miscarriage of justice and a violation of murdered child unless you have walked in bill, including father and son state Sen. Don due process for the victims to have rights their shoes.

Gaetz, R-Destin, and state Rep. Matt Gaetz, extinguished without being able to be heard.

Stand Your Ground has everything to do R-Shalimar, wrote: “Consider an elderly I encourage every single victim of crime with the killing of Trayvon Martin, Jordan woman in a dimly lit parking lot or a college to pursue private counsel options. Much of Davis, Chad Oulson and others, whether girl walking to her dorm at night. If either was the immunity hearing is brought before a what we do in this regard is pro bono — for attacked, her duty was to turn her back and free — but it’d be too simple to pick up the judge or not. The law now says anyone who phone and actually learn about what we do, is “attacked” (without bothering to define if try to flee, probably be overcome and raped wouldn’t it? that means physical harm or merely an attack or killed.” on one’s senses, through insults or less) has Except that is entirely untrue. The old I will end with a quotation from Abraham “no duty to retreat,” even if he or she was law stated: Lincoln: “I do not think much of a man who the cause of the problem or aggressor, even “The defendant cannot justify the use of is not wiser today than he was yesterday.” The if retreat is entirely reasonable, or even if force likely to cause death or great bodily information is out there, but the lazy man everyone else in his or her right mind would harm unless he used every reasonable means often finds it easier to keep churning out the have simply retreated. The prospective killer within his power and consistent with his own same old lies. can “stand his or her ground and meet force safety to avoid the danger before resorting John M. Phillips with force, including deadly force.” to that force. The fact that the defendant was mail@folioweekly.com This is a standard that protects the killer wrongfully attacked cannot justify his use The author is a local attorney who represented all the way through the criminal trial, through of force likely to cause death or great bodily the family of Jordan Davis, the teenager killed the jury verdict. It’s read in every self-defense harm if by retreating he could have avoided

by Michael Dunn. case, and the state has the burden to prove the the need to use that force.”

Folio Weekly welcomes Backpage Editorial submissions. Essays should be no more than 1,200 words and on a topic of local interest or concern. Email your Backpage to mail@folioweekly.com. Opinions expressed on the Backpage are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the editors or management of Folio Weekly.

APRIL 2-8, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39