Folio Weekly 04/29/15

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SAFETY DANCE The race for mayor and election-year political “evolution”

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HEROES & VILLAINS Comic book sequel toys with our ideas of good and bad guys

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ROCK OF AGES

Wilco celebrates its 20th anniversary by continuing to defy expectations

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FROM THE EDITOR

NEGLECTING THE SHRED BRACE YOURSELF. I’m about to say something extremely contentious.

So far, in my short tenure as editor, I’ve pilloried the high-on-marketing-low-on-substance One Spark festival, chastised the Jaguars sack leader for “talking out of his ass,” wondered aloud whether the mayor’s inaction on HRO could elicit an Indiana-style blowback in the River City, and co-opted Old Testament verbiage to poke fun at Jacksonville’s billionaire messiah, Shad Khan.

But my next proposition is likely to be my most divisive yet.

Here we go: Northeast Florida has world-class surf.

We OK? Still here? Let me back up.

I haven’t always felt this way. Anyone who grows up surfing on the East Coast is acutely aware of his or her third (or fourth) world status in the eyes of the surf world’s foreign correspondents. However uninformed, it’s a common regret of many a Northeast Florida youth to have been born on the right coast instead of the left. “I’d be so bitchin’, if only … ” Shortly after college, I moved West. I spent more than half-a-decade exploring different seaside pockets of California, the jagged coast and temperate weather offering endless waveriding opportunities. Those were some of the surfiest years of my life.

My last four years in California were spent in San Francisco’s Outer Sunset neighborhood. Our apartment sat three blocks from Ocean Beach, one of the heaviest beach breaks in the world.

For Ocean Beach, August to October means sunny, 70-degree weather, all-day offshore winds and shoulder-high Southwest groundswells.

This lasts until mid- to late-November, when the Pacific Northwest begins churning out megastorms, unleashing 20-foot mountains that detonate 100 yards offshore at 18-second intervals. In San Francisco, if you’re frothing to surf (and even the least bit unhinged), you can ride world-class waves for seven months.

Until February, that is. Then offshore winds turn on, blowing 25 to 40 knots all day, every day for five months. If you are without reliable transportation (capable of taking you beyond San Mateo County), you will not be surfing.

Alas, Santa Cruz’s endless south-facing (and at some points, southeast-facing, oddly) point breaks lay just a short drive south. The only problem: The Santa Cruz points are crowded, ungodly so. Weaving one’s way around aggro locals and soft-top-wielding kooks is an inexact science that can make the proposition of trying to catch a decent share of waves during a crowded session at Pleasure Point, The Hook, or Steamer Lane seem unworthy of such hassle.

Don’t get me wrong, a 2-to-3-foot pleasure point peak can give a minimally competent wave rider some unforgettable lines. But to emerge from the water with a realistic perception of satisfaction is to catch a dozen or so waves.

Pick a wave with a household name on the California Coast — Blacks, Windansea, Rincon, County Line, Malibu — and it’s the same deal.

The same economics of scarcity exist — lots of people battling for a single takeoff point.

If I haven’t lost you yet, let’s come back to the East Coast.

To anyone willing to compare, the consistency of Northeast Florida surf rivals any Atlantic coastal town, and many California ones. From Talbot Island to Flagler Beach Pier, with the right board, a flexible schedule and an open mind, one could conceivably surf three to four times in a bad week and fix to six times during fruitful one. Though they aren’t reefs, the right tide and the right amount of sand buildup around our multitude of structures — piers,

poles, and jetties — can produce point-like experiences. And our flat summers are often offset by the size produced from tropical activity in the fall and by cold fronts in the winter and spring. Best of all, if one wishes to avoid the heavy crowds at the pier or poles, with more than 90 miles of coastline, one can easily do so.

All this is to say, there’s surf here and we should celebrate it.

Admittedly, the beach can make itself easy to dismiss, at times. Too many swimsuit contests.

Too much white-guy reggae (broggae). Too many beer bongs. Misogyny in abundance.

Like much of Northeast Florida, the beach is evolving. And the surf community has played a big role in that evolution. A survey of any lineup these days is as likely to produce a doctor, a lawyer, a musician, an artist, or a writer as it is a Jeff Spicoli.

As evidenced by this week’s cover story, which sheds light on the origins and impact of the WaveMasters Society — a prominent Northeast Florida surf club — the First Coast is an incubator (or accelerator; still not sure of the difference) of surfing talent. A short list of surfers with Northeast Florida ties who’ve made an impact on the surf world at-large is hard to quantify, but Bruce Clelland, Dicky Rosborough, Larry Miniard, Joe and Vince Roland, Sean Mattison, Karina Petroni, Gabe Kling, Asher Nolan, Ryan Briggs, and the Brothers Thompson are a solid start.

From surf brands to surf media, the sport is a multi-billion-dollar machine, and one could make a case that Northeast Florida has as many cogs in the wheel as any other hamlet.

St. Augustine’s Zander Morton and Jimmy “Jimmicane” Wilson have ascended to the highest honors of the media ranks, as editor of Surfer Magazine and photography editor at Surfing Magazine, respectively. Local surf shops Aqua East and Sunrise are giants in the industry, their logos easily recognizable from Bethany to Bali to Bondi Beach. Local shapers such as Mike Whisnant and Jim Dunlop are world-renowned for their high performance sticks. Local stylemaster Justin Quintal is a two-time U.S. Open of Surfing Champion.

How can such marginal waves cultivate such an influential surf culture?

The answer may be a matter of promotion as much a perspective.

While it continues to produce its share of ambassadors, the Northeast Florida surf culture is largely written off as insignificant by the public at large. At the beach, the masses are more likely to turn out for a music festival headlined by purveyors of Cialis-commercial blues than they are for the longest-running surf contest in the state. The Jacksonville media is just as out of touch, devoting more ink to our hometown third-string quarterback with an amateur arm than our U.S. Open champion waterman.

We have a history in Northeast Florida of neglecting our unique homegrown exports. From razing The Harlem of the South to abandoning Downtown Jacksonville to whitewashing St. Augustine history, we’ve been terrible at preserving and promoting things of cultural value.

More than a half-century after exploding on Florida’s shores, the beauty of surfing still rests in its identity as a purist, selfish pursuit. When you’re in the water, the world at large — with all its problems — is rendered inconsequential.

Given Northeast Florida’s history, maybe it’s best if surf culture remain marginalized.

It’s OK; the waves here suck, anyway.

OVERSET

Matthew B. Shaw mshaw@folioweekly.com twitter/matthew_b_shaw

APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 3

THIS WEEK // 4.29-5.5.15 // VOL. 29 ISSUE 5 COVER STORY

BACK TO BASICS [9]

BY MATTHEW B. SHAW Promoting one of Northeast Florida’s most distinctive, homegrown cultural events, THE WAVEMASTERS have been spreading stoke for more than 32 years

FEATURED ARTICLES

SAFETY DANCE

[8]

BY AG GANCARSKI The race for mayor and electionyear political “EVOLUTION”

A HUMOROUS STANCE [22]

ROCK OF AGES

BY DANNY KELLY From solo standup to SNL, JOHN MULANEY has his feet placed firmly in the contemporary comedy scene

BY NICK MCGREGOR Chicago rock juggernaut WILCO celebrates its 20th anniversary by continuing to defy expectations

[27]

COLUMNS + CALENDARS FROM THE EDITOR 3 THE SPRAWL 6 BRICKBATS & BOUQUETS 7 FIGHTIN’ WORDS 8 OUR PICKS 14 FILM 16

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THE MAIL

THE SPRAWL

WAIT, WUT? KNOCK ME OVER WITH A FEATHER: for all the hype about renewable energy, they will supply about the same share of energy in 2040 (9.5 percent) as they did in 1949 (9.3 percent). In the meantime, we will waste how many billions of dollars in taxpayer wealth subsidizing another eco-myth?

When I was a high schooler and college student in the ’70s, there were three eco-myths/ crises that had us all dead by now: 1) an imminent new Ice Age (didn’t happen); 2) massive food shortages (food is more abundant than ever); and 3) overpopulation (if we’re overpopulated, start naming names).

Further, maybe I’ll believe the next ecocrisis when the hysterics start exhibiting in their own behavior that there really is an imminent crisis.

Survivor of the New Ice Age, Overpopulation, and Massive Starvation,

TEBOW TIME (AGAIN)

News + Notes from across Northeast Florida

Tim Tebow signed with his fourth NFL team, the Philadelphia Eagles, last week.

Unlike the three previous acquisitions of the former Heisman Trophy winner, this latest signing was met with somewhat less enthusiasm in Jacksonville.

AG Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com twitter/AGGancarski

EMBARK

Jeff Karr Jacksonville Beaches

IN JAX TODAY, A RAINY Saturday afternoon turned into a Weatherman’s orgy. All three major Jax news/weather depts took over their stations’ broadcasts (cut off all scheduled programing including their sister stations for about an hour) and blissfully detailed the weather action as they hooted and hollered about tornado alerts — there were no tornados reported, strong winds — the highest pointed out by Mike Buresh was 19 mph. Hail warnings — there was no hail.

The masters of this Weathermen’s Dog & Pony show was WJAX-47/WFOX-30 which enlisted all four of their weather reporters on the broadcast tag-teaming their weather maps. Today’s rainy afternoon was not even in there with a good old summer monsoon season regular. This is a perfect example of weathermen having too much authority and believing the whole city broadcasting area wants to watch the weather show.

Robert Hawxhurst Jacksonville

EDITOR’S RESPONSE: Normally we’d join you in castigating the news media’s sensationalist tendencies. However, I’ll direct your attention to Art Director Chaz Bäck’s San Marco home as evidence, at least on Saturday, it was more than raining cats and dogs.

If you would like to respond to something that appeared in the pages of Folio Weekly, please send an email (with your name, address and phone number for verification purposes only) to mail@folioweekly.com.

6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2015

ball and he wasn’t very accurate. We didn’t do much conditioning or route trees or run many defenses against him. We honestly felt we could help him with his throwing, like everyone else, but this time, he got enough reps where the change was made.”

The problem with this claim is that it feels familiar. In isolation, Tebow’s probably worked it out. Against a corner blitz, though? In the driving rain? On third and 25?

The odds are against him. But you can’t fault him for trying.

Part of the reason for that attitude is that the Gators have fallen off in recent years, losing both bandwagon fans and booster club types. A bigger part of the reason is that Tebow has been exposed in the pro game as one of the worst quarterbacks in history.

Even in during his 8-5 season in Denver, it was clear the former Nease High School star couldn’t cut it. There was that game where he was picked off four times in one half. And the one where he had one completion in one half.

It didn’t get any better from there. He couldn’t get on the field with the Jets. He couldn’t even make the team in New England.

Even against camp fodder defenses in preseason, he couldn’t drive the ball.

And he’s back at it again. No guaranteed money. Punters do interviews and say he’s the worst quarterback ever. The fifth-string quarterback on the Eagles. It’s not looking good for him. And yet, there’s something noble in the effort.

Most of what we do in this life fails. Half of all marriages, 80 percent of all restaurants. 100 percent of all Wile E. Coyote purchases from the Acme Company. Yet Tebow’s throwing coach for the last year-and-a-half, Tom House, says he’s good now.

“We helped his throwing. When he was released by the Patriots, because of Tom Brady, he came to us ... He had trouble spinning the

I stepped onto the deck of the Jacksonville Water Taxi feeling right proud of my deft maneuvering when a loud, “Welcome Aboard!” stopped me. It came from a fellow slouched in the first seat, who greeted me with a big goofy grin and bright eyes shaded in oversized sunglasses. I figured him to be just another passenger; he didn’t quite have that nautical snap. Multiple strands of Mardi Gras beads dangled around his neck, partially covering the logo of a white Jacksonville Arena T-shirt, at least four sizes too big for him. On his head he’d fixed a Jacksonville Suns ball cap in primary sunny yellow, turned backwards. If we went down, I don’t think he’d be much help. He moved with the staccato push-pull of someone with cerebral palsy; the fingers of his hands were twisted permanently into his palms, like he was holding a rope.

In sheer personality, though, he was plenty buoyant. And he endeavored to lift everyone around him, too. “This is the Love Boat. Not the Hate Boat,” the man declared. He had to shout to be heard over the boat engine, but I have a feeling he just likes to shout. “This is the Love Boat, not the Hate Boat,” he said again. When the boat stopped further down the Southbank, a couple disembarked and two women from San Antonio joined our passenger manifesto. “This is the Love Boat, not the Hate Boat,” the man shouted for the newcomers.

The city of Jacksonville reports 27,016 people rode the water taxi between August and December. That sounds like a lot, but it’s not enough to sustain it, says Captain Ron Hilliard, who is also the director of operations for Jax River Taxi. He said the water taxi racked up its largest numbers in October during the Florida-Georgia game (9,523 riders), and One Spark promoted the water taxi as a way to get to the April festival. But the water taxi needs more people downtown regularly to be viable. Despite the challenges,

in April Lakeshore Marine signed a five-year contract to continue operating the taxi.

As we headed across the St. Johns River, the nautical Lovenik, Mark Cohee, told me he rides the water taxi every day to his job at Veterans Memorial Arena, for free. (Nice.)

Before disembarking for the Arena, Cohee told the San Antonio women to pick up a copy of Folio Weekly. I told him he is an ambassador for Jacksonville, but he disagreed. “I’m an Ambassador for Fun,” he said.

Susan Cooper Eastman sceastman@folioweekly.com

MITTSTOCK 2015

Last week, former Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney paid us a visit as the special guest at a fundraiser supporting mayoral candidate Lenny Curry. U.S. Congressman Ron DeSantis — who is rumored to be running for the U.S. Senate seat vacated by presidential hopeful Marco Rubio — and Former Speaker of the Florida House, Will Weatherford, joined Romney and a crew of the area’s biggest donors at the event in Ponte Vedra Beach.

Romney, who was also in town to give the commencement address at Jacksonville University, sent an email on Monday, April 20, formally endorsing Curry and urging his fellow Republicans to vote and donate to his campaign. In the same email, the former governor of Massachusetts sounded the alarm, accusing incumbent mayor Alvin Brown of being a “liberal Democrat and an ally of Hillary Clinton,” and further warning “in 2016, [Brown] will work very hard to get Hillary Clinton elected.”

Add Romney to the list of big names who, to no one’s surprise, are lining up behind the

former chairman of the Republican Party of Florida. In recent weeks, Curry’s bolstered that list to include the entire Florida Cabinet, Attorney General Pam Bondi, Commissioner of Agriculture Adam Putnam and Chief Financial Officer Jeff Atwater, as well as the ever-unpopular governor, Rick Scott.

Though he struggled to display any semblance of magnetism during his presidential run, Romney’s visit to the River City has rallied the Curry team and its supporters. “Romney visiting Jacksonville to support Lenny Curry is exciting. It’s rare when a former presidential candidate not only endorses, but attends a campaign event for a local race,” affirmed Peret Pass, former chair of the Florida Young Republicans and a Curry supporter. “It’s crunch time. We are confident and have a great team of volunteers to help lead us to victory on May 19.”

Kathryn Schoettler mail@folioweekly.com

BRICKBATS & BOUQUETS BOUQUETS TO AL LETSON John Coffey Refuses to Save the World – a play written by Letson, host and executive producer of National Public Radio’s State of the Re:Union (SOTRU) – opened to rave reviews just days before it was announced that SOTRU would receive a George Foster Peabody Award (“The Pulitzer of Radio”). Not to be outdone, Folio Weekly offers this proverbial bouquet to Letson not only for 2014’s excellent SOTRU season. With scant resources, Letson’s program has managed to uphold a high level of journalistic excellence for the entirety of its five seasons on NPR. BRICKBATS TO SHERIFF JOHN RUTHERFORD whose callous response to Times-Union reporter Andrew Pantanzi’s investigation into Duval County Jail House sexual assaults – which revealed correctional officers had institutionalized the practice of stripping inmates naked – was almost as barbaric as the acts themselves. Referencing the sexual assault of Mark Baker, Rutherford told the Times-Union, “Can I stop somebody from punching somebody in the face? Can I stop a sexual assault between two people? No, I can’t prevent it.”

BRICKBATS TO JOHN DELANEY In endorsing Republican mayoral candidate Lenny Curry, the fiscally responsible mastermind – whose foresight brought the city of Jacksonville a $350 million downtown courthouse and a doozy of a 30year pension agreement – criticized Mayor Alvin Brown, saying, “City Hall and its finances are in absolute shambles.” Curry, showing even less foresight, accepted the endorsement.

BOUQUETS TO SPINNAKER RADIO College radio graduated to the big leagues on April 13 when University of North Florida’s Spinnaker Radio began broadcasting live on WSKR 95.5 LPFM. Run solely by UNF students, the station is the only college radio station on FM in Jacksonville, featuring live programming by student DJs 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Monday-Friday. Specialty programming runs nights and weekends, with shows offering the gamut from psychedelic, hip-hop, indie rock and jazz to faith-based programs. On the UNF campus, the tower broadcasts at 77 watts of power; the station can be heard throughout the Southside, as well as areas of Mandarin, Arlington and the Beaches. WSKR 95.5 LPFM streams online at unfspinnaker.com.

KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A PROVERBIAL BRICKBAT? Send your submissions to mail@folioweekly.com. Submissions should be a maxium of 50 words and directed toward a person, place, or topic of local interest. l

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APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7

FIGHTIN’ WORDS

SAFETY DANCE

The race for mayor and election-year political “EVOLUTION”

O

ne of the fascinating subplots of the 2011 election was the depiction of religion.

Mike Hogan and Alvin Brown are both, by all accounts, really nice people. Gregarious. Salt of the earth. Real. And fundamentalist.

Brown, as we know, shocked the world and won the election. And since then he’s been consistent. His policies, his rhetoric, and his demeanor have been rooted in the AfricanAmerican church that helped him become the man he is: old-school, culturally conservative, in terms of temperament and worldview. And he is very conscious of it.

You see it in his policies. You hear it in the cadence of his voice when he’s making an emotional appeal. His use of call-andresponse, though Clintonian in a broad sense, owes nothing to the 42nd POTUS. It is real. It is the sound of a dialogue between leader and community. “Do you hear me? Are we good?

Are we family?”

There is a plaintiveness to it all.

If it resonates with you, it can be genuinely meaningful. If you are a cynic, however, and you hear “I want to thank God for blessing me to be mayor of Jacksonville” yet again, said in exactly the same way every time you hear it, you might feel a sense of déjà vu. And then you’ll feel guilty for thinking it.

Brown ran, in 2015’s first election, as a “conservative Democrat” who consciously appropriated Reagan lines like “Are you better off now than you were four years ago?”

Central to Brown’s position as a Bible-based cultural conservative has been his inaction on extending human rights protections to the LGBT community.

Folio Weekly has addressed this before (“From the Editor: On Evolution and Progress,” April 15). Last week, I wrote that the Bishop Democrats and Riverside types, who moved toward Alvin because they couldn’t handle Lenny’s presentation, needed an explicit quid pro quo. From my lips to City Hall’s ears. Just after that issue hit the streets, the mayor “ordered the city’s Office of General Counsel to study federal, state, and local laws that combat discrimination. This would ensure that the new City Council has the information it needs to guarantee discrimination doesn’t exist in Jacksonville; and is able to take the actions it deems necessary to prevent discrimination.”

Brown then added, “All along, I have said that I’ve taught my two sons to treat everyone equally, and hold malice toward none. It’s clear that from my conversations with you, that you expect the same from the city of Jacksonville.”

This will likely placate most of the activists who have agitated on this issue. But take a closer look at what he said.

8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2015

He will authorize a study of laws to give Council “the information it needs” to “guarantee discrimination doesn’t exist in Jacksonville.” Though the discrimination alluded to is toward members of the LGBT community, the mayor makes no mention of how they’ve been impacted by employment, housing, and other types of discrimination.

And he apparently hasn’t seen the 2009 study from the JCCI, which established that discrimination is a reality for LGBTs. This announcement was made by the campaign, not the policy side, with less than four weeks to go before the election, and days before early voting. And it was made after John Delaney — by way of endorsing Lenny Curry (who Delaney claimed would at least “listen to all sides” on this issue) — said that “Brown promised the gays he would support the HRO expansion and told the evangelicals he would veto it.”

Delaney, three years ago, offered political cover for the mayor to support the HRO. The mayor, who is so fond of trumpeting relationships with Republicans, Democrats, and Independents, opted not to follow Delaney’s lead block toward bipartisan consensus. In football terms, he danced around in the backfield, and fell down rather than hit the hole.

Now, it’s entirely possible that Brown could get re-elected and an HRO might emerge from all of this, even as our city pulled the backwater move of ceasing courthouse weddings the day before same-sex marriage became legal. The mayor was incoherent in addressing this when I asked him about it in January, after the MLK Birthday Breakfast, an event expressly dedicated to civil rights.

Perhaps the General Counsel can also address this matter while they’re digging around in FindLaw for precedent.

AG Gancarski twitter/AGGancarski mail@folioweekly.com

Promoting one of Northeast Florida’s most distinctive, homegrown cultural events, THE WAVEMASTERS have been spreading stoke for more than 32 years

S

OME O TIME IN THE EARLY 1980S, in an undisclosed location,

representatives from Northeast Florida’s surf community re met m in an effort to consolidate power and provide a unified voice, vo illustrative of their mutual ideals. Though the list of o attendees varies depending on the source providing the

STORY BY

MATTHEW B. SHAW

information, all are in agreement that what was discussed that evening among a consortium of watermen — thought to include Bill Heath, Cesar Garcia, Bill Hixon, Tim New, Tim Ellis, David Lambert and a few others — would lay the foundation for one of the most influential surf clubs ever

formed f on the East Coast.

CONTINUED NEXT PAGE >>> APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9

“Back then, surfing didn’t have a very POSITIVE IMAGE in the community,” says Bill Holden.

“I was a teacher, and a lifeguard, and still surfing – but, honestly, there were these punk groups who were giving the sport A BAD NAME.”

<<< FROM PREVIOUS Still dripping water and expounding stoke from an early spring morning spent sharing warm-water waves in Ponte Vedra Beach, Tim Ellis and Bill Holden convey a feeling many surfers know well — a casualness with each other and contentment with the world around them, a kind of post-surf Zen. Their friendship spans nearly five decades.

“I was living on 33rd Avenue in South Jax Beach, and I was probably 14 or 15 when I met Bill,” says Ellis. “He was head lifeguard at the Ponte Vedra Inn and Club.”

“I wasn’t a native, I didn’t grow up surfing like these guys,” says Holden. “It wasn’t until I was 18 and in college that these guys brought me in and taught me how to surf.”

“They’ve been putting up with me now for 40 years.”

These days, both men arguably spend more time in the water than ever (though Holden does so on a waveski and Ellis on a standup paddleboard). Ellis retired a few years ago after a long career as a partner in a Jacksonville law firm. Holden spent decades as a teacher and Neptune Beach lifeguard captain.

But the men’s professions — regardless of the success they achieved in their respective fields — would never define them. Instead, the years spent chasing waves as part of a small, insular crowd of dedicated beach boys remain the most definitive of both men’s lives.

In Florida in the early 1960s, surfing — entrenched in its heyday as nonconformist activity — attracted a close-knit group of 10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2015

devotees who began experimenting with the possibilities of the sport as an emerging lifestyle. Longboards and hot-dogging were still de rigueur and style-masters like Bruce Clelland were setting the performance bar in the water. California surfboard-maker Allen Surfboards established its own manufacturing facility in Jacksonville and afforded many a budding wave-rider the opportunity to maintain the lifestyle, at least for a few summers. After seeing what was coming in from the West Coast, guys like Lee Cliett and Harry Dickinson started building their own boards and, eventually, opening shops to sell them. When Bill Hixon opened Hixon’s Surf Shop in 1964, it quickly became the local hangout for the budding counterculture.

“Back then, there were little pockets of surfers at the beach,” says Ellis. “There was a group of guys who surfed the pier and then there was a group of really hot surfers out of Neptune and Atlantic.”

“There was [East Coast Surfing Hall of Famers] Larry Miniard and Joe Roland,” Ellis continues with Holden interjecting to add names to the list. “Vincent Roland, Tim New, Dickie Rosborough, Robbie Rosborough.

They came out of that hotbed of surfers in Atlantic Beach.”

And then there were the surf clubs.

Well before the days of billion-dollar T-shirt companies, million-dollar prize purses, and luxury yacht surf trips — in fact, well before “Gidget” — surf clubs were responsible for disseminating surf culture. Members would get together to talk board design, spin narratives of recent surf safaris, drink beer, and plan the occasional competition among members or against competing clubs.

Surf Clubs proliferated in Southern California in the 1950s and ’60s. Among the most famous was Windansea Surf Club out of La Jolla. Some of the best and most notorious waveriders of the early 1960s — Skip Frye, Mike Hynson, Butch Van Artsdalen — were Windansea members; accounts of their early trips to the East Coast would become prerequisite reading in the surf lore canon.

As surfing grew in popularity and the Right Coast began cultivating its own crop of talented wave-riders, surfers in Florida began organizing as well.

SURF CLUB: An early meeting of the WaveMasters Society (circa 1983); a recent WaveMasters tournament (at right).

For 32 years, the WaveMasters has been bringing some of the best surfers in the world to the first coast.

Oceanside Surf Club was formed in the mid1960s and filled its ranks with older surfers, mainly from Jax Beach. However, it took a Fletcher High School party in the late 1960s, and a chance encounter with a random furnace of a vaguely Hawaiian-sounding point of origin to inspire the coalescence of the younger generation of Northeast Florida surfers.

Legend has it that party attendees from the surf community had been marinating on the idea of starting their own club to rival Oceanside. At some point, the gathering’s collective attention was brought to fixate on the house’s furnace, particularly its logo. Soon all were in agreement that pronouncing the “i” in Utica, the logo on the boiler, as a long “e” (U-Tee-ka) and changing the “c” to “k” would make for a radical surf club sobriquet.

The Utika Surf Club was born.

“It went from pockets, to us all coming together in middle school and high school, and by ’66 or ’67, we were all kind of, more or less, hanging out together,” says Ellis.

The first Utika logo featured a lower-case “t” crossed with a surfboard, the skeg hanging down over the “i.” David Lambert drew that inaugural design. After adding names to the list of original members, “Johnny McKay, Tim New, Bill Longenecker, Jerry Hoey, Joe and Jimmy Steeg,” Lambert shares his regrets that the club was so short-lived. “There were a ton of good surfers. Really fun times,” he says.

“We put on one of the first big surf contests in Northeast Florida, The Utika Surfing Invitational,” Lambert says.

“But by ’72 or ’73, people had either moved away or grown out of surfing altogether.”

Surveying any lineup of surfers in 2015, one is likely to find as many retirees in the water as groms. But in the last throes of the 1970s, the first crop of Northeast Florida surfers were charting new territory as they entered their mid-to-late 20s.

“Back then, surfing didn’t have a very positive image in the community,” says Bill Holden. “I was a teacher, and a lifeguard, and still surfing — but, honestly, there were these punk groups who were giving the sport a bad name.”

America in the 1970s and 1980s was in the midst of a crime wave and proliferation of fatherless homes, the effects of which are still felt. The beaches were no different. Drug cultures infiltrated idyllic beach communities up and down the East and West Coasts.

Malapropisms from punk and post-punk rock movements gave rise to highly aggressive groups (see: the Point Break crew Warchild

ran with) that assumed a license to break from long-held social norms and etiquette, especially in the water.

“There were a few young guys going around the beach calling themselves surf Nazis,” says Holden. “They were cutting people off in the lineup and stuff like that.”

“We were in our late 20s and we were some of the oldest in the water,” Ellis says. “I don’t think, at that time, surfing had become recognized as a valid lifelong sport.”

At 68, Cesar Garcia — who claims, with great pride, to have been the first townie accepted into the Utika Surf Club — may be in the best shape of his life. Even before retiring in his late 40s, Garcia had already made surfing priority number one. He’s lived all over the world — Hawaii, Dominican Republic, Spain — and there’s a common thread every time he puts down roots: proximity to world-class surf.

Around 1979, despite being in his late 20s and despite taking on a fairly straight-edge

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APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11

WaveMasters Society charter members Bill Holden, Cesar Garcia and Tim Ellis arguably spend more time in the water these days than ever.

<<< FROM PREVIOUS profession, young CPA Garcia was surfing a lot. And traveling a lot.

“I remember telling Tim New [coowner of Hixon’s Surf Shop] about my trip to California. I told him about Windansea Surf Club starting back up again,” Garcia remembers. “I told him I thought we should start our own surf travel club.”

In those pre-Internet, pre-Facebook days, Garcia was desperate to share his surfexploration experiences with his Northeast Florida surf brethren. He thought bringing back Utika would be the best way.

“I was taking all these trips alone and I basically wanted to people to start traveling with me,” Garcia remembers.

Garcia says he and Tim New talked it over with Bill Hixon. “Hixon heard what we wanted to do and thought a club of older guys would help make surfing a legitimate sport,” Garcia laughs. “I thought it was kind of funny.”

A plan was hatched to invite surfing business professionals, all of them over the ripe old age of 25, to start a surf club that could represent a positive image of surfers in the community. When a search for a doctor failed

From there, the club began holding monthly meetings, each summit including food, beer, jovial teasing, surf movie premieres and, of course, traveling exploits.

Today, for any Northeast Florida surfer, a Central American trip is a rite of passage. But when the WaveMasters Society was formed, surf travel was still in its infancy.

“It was all about reconnecting with old friends and a community,” says Tim Ellis.

“We were learning about all these new places. I remember one particular set of

WaveMasters contest off the ground and into the water, along with the late Sandy Forsyth, of Aqua East Surf Shop. From its inception in 1984, the WaveMasters Society Pro-Am brought some of the most talented surfers from across the U.S. to Northeast Florida — most notably, a young Kelly Slater, who took first place in the menehune (12 and under) division. The 11-time world champion’s brother, Sean Slater, also competed in WaveMasters. West Florida standout Yancy Spencer III would bring

“WAVEMASTERS came around at a time in the late ’70s, early ’80s, when the stoke was kind of wearing thin. I don’t know if it was the economy or what, but something needed to BREATHE NEW LIFE into the sport.” — MITCH KAUFMAN to unearth any candidates with legitimate surf cred, the group settled on a dentist named Steve Carpenter and Tim Ellis, fresh from law school, would fulfill the lawyer niche.

“We all came up with a list of 25 to 30 people to invite to the first meeting. We held it at the former Jax Beach City Hall,” Garcia says. “All of the founders came up and talked about what we wanted to do. We asked for $30 [in membership dues].”

The newly formed group needed a name. Members drew up a list of at least 10 possibilities. “Many of us thought we needed our location in the name,” Garcia says. “We wanted something like Jacksonville-Surf, or North-Florida-something. But we also wanted to have the word ‘wave’ in there.”

Ultimately, WaveMasters Society earned the most votes.

12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2015

pictures from Costa Rica and Nicaragua that made all of our jaws just drop. Growing up here, we had never seen any waves like that. It was always really exciting.”

In continuing their efforts to improve the image of surfers in the community, WaveMasters Society members introduced their share of charitable initiatives. Over the years, they’ve supported the Donner Community Center in Atlantic Beach and Carver Community Center in Jax Beach and sponsored college scholarships for promising young surfers.

And as the WaveMasters expanded their ranks, the idea that the club should host a contest began to seem like a natural extension. J.D. Motes, who’d been involved in running contests with the Eastern Surfing Association, was instrumental in getting the

a contingent of Gulf Coast surfers to the contest. And California longboard surfer/ shaper extraordinaire Robert August surfed WaveMasters (it’s the only contest the living legend ever actually won).

But more than attracting talent from beyond the First Coast, the annual surf contest became a showcase for Northeast Florida’s immense homegrown talent.

Though not often recognized as a talent hotbed by the public at large, Northeast Florida has a reputation in the surf media as a breeding ground for future stars.

Surfing Magazine’s photo editor Jimmy “Jimmicane” Wilson has traveled incessantly in his 29 years on the planet, shooting the best surfers on the most critical waves in the world.

Wilson honed his surfing and photography chops off the beaches of St. Augustine.

“North Florida is definitely a hotbed,” says Wilson, whose job has rendered him a First Coast expat. “Living out in Southern California for the past seven years, I realize it even more. So many guys rip around Jax and St. Aug. The average surfer is actually much better back home than out here [in California].”

Local pros like Asher Nolan, Ryan Briggs, and Karina Petroni, as well as St. Augustine upstarts like Gabe Kling all cut their early competitive teeth at the WaveMasters, climbing the ranks from menehune to the Pro contest.

This crop of young surfers would help establish Northeast Florida as one of the strongest Eastern Surfing Association divisions on the Atlantic Coast, a perennial powerhouse at regional and national competitions.

Wilson feels the contest brings out the best aspects of the area’s surf culture.

By all accounts, Mitch Kaufman had a role in building the WaveMasters contest into a premier surf event. He’s been running the contest and competing in it for more than 20 years now.

“WaveMasters came around at a time in the late ’70s, early ’80s, when the stoke was kind of wearing thin,” Kaufman says from the control room of his Atlantic Video headquarters. “I don’t know if it was the economy or what, but something needed to breathe new life into the sport.”

Though he knew all the former Utika members, during the first few years of the contest, Kaufman was too young to join the WaveMasters Society.

“I never actually joined the club,” Kaufman laughs.

“I always surfed the contest in the first few years. But I also filmed it and took pictures for my show [“The Radical Side”].”

In the 1990s, Kaufman says, the contest needed some new blood. “I had all these ideas about judging and getting good judges. [The WaveMasters Society] just kind of handed it over to me.”

Using WaveMasters as a rallying point, Kaufman helped many a young surfer blossom.

The WaveMasters Pro-am from left to right: Kelly Slater took first place in the Menehune (under 12) division at the 1984 contest; Sean Mattison on the cover of the now-defunct South/East Surfer; Mattison (far right) returns to the WaveMasters to teach contest strategy on May 2 in Jacksonville Beach.

“I had kids like [Ryan] Briggs out there judging contests from an early age. Usually young guys are running from the judges’ table.

But I got him over there early on. That helped them with the competitive aspects of surfing,” Kaufman says. “I basically forced Karina [Petroni] to surf her first contest,” he laughs.

“Looking back at all the kids who have come through the contest, and I’ve compared results from every year, you know — like the Thompson brothers — they all won menehunes and they all won boys’, then they turn pro, and now they’re winning the pro contest.”

Over the years, the WaveMasters contest became a revenue-generating endeavor, allowing the Society to ramp up its charitable efforts. A large part of the contest’s proceeds now go to the American Red Cross Volunteer Lifesaving Corps, aka Jax Beach lifeguards. In turn, the city of Jacksonville Beach has become a supporter of the event, more affirmation of the WaveMasters efforts to paint surfing and surfers in a positive light.

The 2015 contest will be the 32nd annual WaveMasters Pro-Am. With a first prize in the men’s pro worth $3,000 and the top finisher in the men’s longboard earning $1,500, the contest is one of the biggest on the East Coast this year.

Unfortunately, as the contest has grown in popularity, the WaveMasters Society as a surf club has lost much of its momentum. “[The club aspect] has really just died, OK?” Tim Ellis laments. “I think it’s attributable to when we were really involved, we all had our kids coming up through WaveMasters. But then there was a generation 10 to 15 years behind us, and we didn’t get to know those surfers.”

“And honestly, we didn’t do a great job of replenishing our ranks and reaching out to the next generation,” Ellis says.

Today, countless websites offer surfers the ability to find pictures and watch videos of waves ridden in distant lands, while social media allows surfers from different communities to interact with one another.

“When you look at the rise of the Internet, and where people get information about surf travel,” says Ellis, “now you don’t even need to leave your office or your home, much less get together with a group of friends, to find out about a new place to surf.”

“There’s too many other things to do,” Holden interjects.

Though the surf club may no longer be the ideal vehicle for which to promulgate it, Jim Gann wants the original intentions of the WaveMasters Society — to build camaraderie and promote surfing in Northeast Florida — to live on.

While attending the Beaches’ annual Springing the Blues Festival a few years ago, Gann, who has a background in advertising, says he began to feel that Jax Beach would be better served promoting one of its more interesting, homegrown exports.

“I just thought, we are a beach community, and we don’t really have anything going on that truly captures that culture, or lifestyle,” he says. Gann’s worked in surf shops, too. He says some of the bigger surf brands like RVCA and Volcom have integrated art and music to help promote surfing as a lifestyle. “The surf community here is so diverse and dynamic,” Gann says.

The rebranded 32nd annual WaveMasters Surf Festival will pair the contest with a day of surf-related programming, including guest speakers, board-building demos, history lessons, and a range of instruction from paddling technique to nutrition and fitness. Former Atlantic Beach surf pro and world-renowned surf coach (and former WaveMasters contest standout) Sean Mattison will be on hand during the event to lead a seminar on contest strategy.

“Really, we are trying to tap into the surf club days,” Gann says. “The surf club was all about camaraderie. It was all about sharing ideas and interests. And what better venue to do that than the longest-running surf event in Florida, the WaveMasters contest?”

Matthew B. Shaw mshaw@folioweekly.com

APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13

Our Picks CRUSTACEAN CELEBRATION

ISLE OF EIGHT FLAGS SHRIMP FEST

The 52nd annual Isle of Eight Flags Shrimp Festival offers three full days of family fun including a surfeit of seafood and other delectable eats, arts and crafts and antique vendors, a kidzone, live music (including classic rockers The Edgar Winter Band and The Swingin’ Medallions), the traditional Invasion of the Pirates, fireworks and a ton of other events including a shrimp boat contest and, for the millennial-hipsterWalt-Whitman-impersonators, a beard contest!

May 1, 2 & 3, downtown Fernandina Beach, details at shrimpfestival.com.

Reasons to leave the house this week ART ERIC GILLYARD

The collage art of Eric Gillyard fi nds a home in the visually charged lineage of surrealist Max Ernst’s 1934 phantasmagoric graphic novel Une Semaine de Bonté and Winston Smith’s ’80s iconoclastic cover art for the Dead Kennedys. Gillyard, who’s created artwork for three Folio Weekly “Bite by Bite” issues and was the focus of our June 5, 2012 issue, spends countless hours with source material and X-Acto knives to painstakingly create his truly singular works (pictured, Heroine) that evoke haunting archetypes from an extinct America and landscapes that seem born of fever dreams.

Opening reception 7 p.m. May 1 at BREW Five Points, Riverside; exhibit runs through May, brewfivepoints.com.

TRIBUTE

GAMBLE ROGERS MUSIC FESTIVAL

The late, great Gamble Rogers (1937-’91) was the de facto troubadour of Florida folk music, spinning many of his songs and stories from the mythical Oklawaha County.

Part raconteur, part countercultural cracker, Rogers’ (pictured) influence as a guiding light and encouraging voice to his peers and up-and-coming musicians touched the lives of folks like Jimmy Buffett, David Bromberg and countless more regional artists.

Rogers’ lifelong concern for others continued up to his tragic death, when he drowned while attempting to save a swimmer in distress. The 20th annual Gamble Rogers Music Festival honors both the man and his love of music, with performances by Jim Stafford, The Steel Wheels, Chris Henry & the Hardcore Grass, Harpeth Rising and 50 more musical acts (many locals!), along with an “I Remember Gamble” song and storytelling contest, kids’ activities, arts and crafts and food trucks.

May 2 and 3, St. Augustine Amphitheatre, $35 two-day pass, $25 May 2, $15 May 3, gamblerogersfest.org.

TIGHTLY RAPPED EARL SWEATSHIRT

Earl Sweatshirt is a member of the L.A.based hip-hop collective Odd Future, a 24-person-strong squad of twentysomething musicians whose nihilistic vibe and shocktactic-leaning lyrics puts them in line with early ’80s West Coast hardcore punk as much as any current rap. Earl first appeared on the pop radar in 2010, with staggered beats, hypnotic production and blunt lyrics (unprintable even in this fine alt-weekly!). To get a real hit of the 21-year-old Sweatshirt’s style, check out the dirged-out vibe of his latest hit, “Grief.” 6 p.m. May 1 with openers Vince Staples and Remy Banks at Mavericks at The Landing, Downtown, $30, mavericksatthelanding.com.

VITAL ORGAN DR. LONNIE SMITH

Soul jazz legend Dr. Lonnie Smith is a master of pumping out unrivaled grooves on his Hammond B3 organ. Starting in the late-’60s, Smith released a series of albums that established his reputation for hard-as-nails tunes that hotwired jazz nuance with straight-up fatback-funk. Over the years, the now-72-yearold Smith has performed with the likes of Lou Donaldson, Lee Morgan, George Benson, Dionne Warwick and Dizzy Gillespie.

8 p.m. May 2 at The Ritz Theatre & Museum, Downtown, $34-$39, ritzjacksonville.com.

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APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15

A&E // FILM

PLAY IT FROM THE HEART W

KRISTEN STEWART shines in this intriguing drama hether she was starring in terrible (Juliette Binoche). Valentine is not a showy vampire movies, sleeping with her Snow role full of histrionics, but it does require White director, pouting on the red carpet layered depth and screen presence. As the or just generally looking uncomfortable, film opens on a symbolically bumpy train Kristen Stewart has never had trouble giving ride, Valentine and Maria are on their way to the media and the public reasons to pick on an awards reception that Maria is decidedly her. To be frank, it was hard to find a reason unenthusiastic about attending. Her big career to like her. break that launched her to stardom came But if you kept a close when she was 18 years old eye on her performances and played Sigrid in a play alone and blocked out all the CLOUDS OF SILS MARIA (and later a movie) called nonsense, she was effectively Maloja Snake, named for the ***@ proving herself as an actress. low-lying clouds that “snake” Rated R She perfectly embodied their way through the Maloja indecisive teen angst Pass in the Swiss Alps. In opposite Jesse Eisenberg in Adventureland, Maloja Snake, Sigrid tormented 40-year-old was solid as Joan Jett in The Runaways, and Helena, who was in love with Sigrid. offered sturdy support to Julianne Moore in The offer comes: Klaus, a theater director Still Alice. Most triumphantly, she recently (Lars Eidinger), wants Maria to return to became the first American actress to win a the play, but this time as Helena. Young Cesar Award (the French Oscars), honored for Hollywood starlet Jo-Ann (Chloë Graceher supporting work in Clouds of Sils Maria.

Moretz) has been given the role of Sigrid.

In Sils Maria, Stewart plays Valentine, the Maria waffles but ultimately accepts, then personal assistant to successful actress Maria travels to the town of Sils Maria near the

THE LEADING MAN

ROBERT MITCHUM’S BIOGRAPHY was subtitled “Baby, I Don’t Care,” a line from Out of the Past (1946), a film noir classic and one of his own best as well. He served on a chain gang in his teens, spent time in WWII as a medic checking GIs for venereal disease (a “pecker checker” he called himself) and got busted for marijuana in the ’40s. He made a number of unforgettable movies and some less than memorable. Critic Roger Ebert called him one of the greatest American actors ever, but Mitchum often denigrated both himself and his profession, once saying that “I’ve survived because I work cheap and don’t take up too much time.”

But he couldn’t fool his fans or the critics.

Robert Mitchum was the real deal – an enduring genuine star with talent, rugged good looks and charm to spare – and two of his more interesting films have just surfaced on Blu-ray.

In 1957, Mitchum teamed up with John Huston (who would become one of his favorite directors) and Deborah Kerr (who would become a close friend) for Heaven Knows, Mr. Allison, the story of a U.S. Marine marooned with a nun on a South Pacific island during World War II. A year later, Mitchum produced and starred in Thunder Road, for which he also wrote the story and the title song. The mini-budgeted film would become a cult classic, particularly at drive-in theaters.

Revisiting the same plot and character 16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2015

dynamics that fueled his smash hit The African Queen (1951), Huston (who co-wrote the script for both movies) gets terrific performances again from his apparently mismatched couple in Mr. Allison. Like Humphrey Bogart and Katharine Hepburn, Mitchum and Kerr play polar opposites who nonetheless connect on multiple levels, both comic and dramatic. The Catholic Legion of Decency was apparently quite nervous about the film, fearing that Huston might exploit the unlikely pairing of a religious woman and a leatherneck in a less than pious manner.

Crafty as ever, however, the writer/director offends no one and delights us all, in the process tossing some real suspense into the situation when the Japanese invade the island. Mitchum is terrific as the earthy, uneducated military man who discovers the least likely of women in his care and charge and affection. Deborah Kerr, who famously made waves of a more provocative sort with Burt Lancaster in From Here to Eternity four years earlier, is equally good in a very different role as the chaste nun who finds herself in perils of all sorts, violent and otherwise.

Thunder Road, filmed in black-and-white with a second-tier supporting cast and a lackluster director, plays better in memory than actual rerun. Mitchum is solidly cool as the moonshine transporter trying to outrun both the feds and the bad guys. His character is a good ol’ mountain

Maloja Pass in Switzerland to rehearse. The intention is to get close to the material but, in reality, Maria has trouble seeing the content from Helena’s perspective.

This is where Valentine moves to the forefront, as she explains an alternate perspective on the play that Maria isn’t able to absorb. Maria and Valentine have a playful dynamic: They care and look out for one another, eat and drink together and discuss their personal feelings. But when they disagree, the tension is palpable, as personal/ professional lines are blurred. Valentine is smart and she knows it, and respects Maria, but not to the point that she’ll be a “yes” woman to whatever Maria says. It’s these moments of tension when the film is most alive — we don’t know who’s right or wrong.

It doesn’t matter, though. We still enjoy watching Stewart and Binoche play off one another so effectively.

Writer/director Oliver Assayas (Irma Vep) is consciously merging the content of the play (as Valentine and Maria rehearse) with the characters’ real lives, to the point that, in some conversations, it’s nearly impossible to tell what’s the scripted play and what’s true conversation. For example, we can’t help but wonder if, just as Helena develops a crush on Sigrid, Maria now has a crush on Valentine.

And so you have to listen closely to the dialog, think, engage with the characters and trust those involved that the payoff will be worth it.

Even if things are left unclear, and a better sense of the play itself is needed in order to fully appreciate the Valentine/Maria dynamic, the payoff is worth it.

It’s ironic to hear Stewart’s Valentine describe Jo-Ann’s troublesome tendencies — it sounds like celebrity news gossip at its worst. Here’s hoping Stewart has successfully left scandal behind her and will continue to take on challenging roles such as these, as she clearly has the talent for a long, long career.

Just like Maria.

Dan Hudak mail@folioweekly.com

MAGIC LANTERNS

boy who came back from the Korean War with allegiance only to his own way of life and the fast cars that get him there. The girls all crave him, the men are all jealous. The movie itself is a bit clunky.

But what might have been! Mitchum wanted Elvis Presley in the supporting role, but Colonel Parker wouldn’t bite – it finally went to Mitchum’s son James. As it is, next to Mitchum and the cool cars, the only characters of interest are Francie, played by singer Keely Smith (Mrs. Louis Prima at the time), and Troy, played by Gene Barry.

Mitchum in his prime was already a legend in his own time.

Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com

A&E // FILM LISTINGS FILM RATINGS

DOUBLE OVERHEAD SHOULDER HIGH KNEE TO WAIST ANKLE SLAPPER

**** ***@ **@@ *@@@

SCREENINGS AROUND TOWN

SUN-RAY CINEMA What We Do in the Shadows, Ex Machina, The Avengers: Age of Ultron, Roar and While We’re Young screen at Sun-Ray Cinema, 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. Check website for details.

THE CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ ILike Father, Like Son screens through April 30 at Corazon Cinema, 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. The Theory of Everything screens through May 7. All About Eve is screened at noon April 30. Inherent Vice starts May 1.

WGHF IMAX THEATER Furious 7, Hubble 3D, Hidden Universe, Deep Sea Challenge, Galapagos 3D, Journey to the South Pacific and Humpback Whales screen at World Golf Village Hall of Fame IMAX Theater, 1 World Golf Place, St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com. The Avengers: Age of Ultron opens April 30.

NOW SHOWING

THE AGE OF ADALINE Rated PG-13 Having to appear in a bad <Green Lantern movie is the sort of experience that can really age an actress, right?

Apparently not! In The Age of Adaline, Blake Lively plays a woman who develops a condition that allows her to go through the 20th Century without getting any older, affording her the kinds of adventures only perpetual youth can bestow. You know, kind of like what Scarlett Johansson is to the 21st century. (Oh, sorry, Blake! We keep forgetting we shouldn’t bring that up.) Speaking of bygone eras,

Time for an audit, comrade! — Steve Schneider CLOUDS OF SILS MARIA ***@ Rated R Reviewed in this issue.

DANNY COLLINS Rated R Al Pacino plays an aging rock star who takes his life in a new direction after he learns John Lennon wrote him a letter 40 years earlier. Now remember what Lennon was doing in 1975: worrying about getting kicked out of the country and crawling back to Yoko after having spent a year staggering around Los Angeles with Harry Nilsson and Keith Moon. God knows what a guy in that situation would say to the Al Pacino of 2015. Maybe: “Don’t make Two for the Money.” — S.S. DO YOU BELIEVE? Rated PG-13 This ensemble drama concerns a pastor who embarks on a soul-searching journey of faith. Costars all kinds of folks you wouldn’t expect in one of these super-Christian films: Sean Astin, Mira Sorvino, Brian Bosworth, Cybill Shepherd, Lee Majors, Ted McGinley. OK, we’d expect McGinley, but Sean Astin? That’s Rudy!

THE DUFF Rated PG-13 Teen melodrama about a girl who learns she’s considered a DUFF (Designated Ugly Fat Friend) in her social circle. The narrative of identities remade and bitch-queens dethroned is bound to captivate, especially if you’re too young to have seen Mean Girls. Costars Bella Thorne, Mae Whitman, Robbie Amell and Allison Janney. — S.S. EX MACHINA ***@ Rated R It’s cerebral sci-fi, superbly executed by first-time director Alex Garland. Set in the near future, it expounds on the premise of the possibility of falling in love with artificial intelligence, by providing a voice, face, and partial body to the android, and the results are fascinating. Caleb (Domhnall Gleeson) is an ambitious, nerdy computer programmer at a search engine tech company. He’s

Scott Eastwood and Britt Robertson share the joys and pains of unbridled cowboy love in “The Longest Ride.”

Katherine Heigl was supposed to be in this too, but she says she dropped out to adopt a kid. And when has her sincerity ever been in question? The cast includes Harrison Ford, Michiel Huisman, Ellen Burstyn and Kathy Baker. — Steve Schneider

AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON ***@ Rated PG-13 Reviewed in this issue.

CHILD 44 Rated R We’ve really needed a movie to show how hard life can be when you refuse to throw your family under the bus.

Fortunately, HBO just made that Scientology picture. Child 44 explores similar themes from a different angle, casting Tom Hardy as a cop in 1953 Russia, whose efforts to catch a serial child-killer are hampered by the pariah status he earned when he declined to denounce his wife as a traitor.

thrilled when he “wins” the chance to join the owner of the company, Nathan (Oscar Isaac), for a week at Nathan’s research facility/home. Caleb is ostensibly there because Nathan has created a robot he named Ava (Alicia Vikander).

Nathan believes Ava is capable of emotions, and Nathan needs Caleb to test her/it. — Dan Hudak FURIOUS 7 ***@ Rated PG-13 This is 137 minutes of pure, unbridled adrenaline. Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham) breaks into federal agent Hobbs’ (Dwayne Johnson) office to get info on Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel). He learns Dom’s “family” is just fine: Brian (Paul Walker) and wife Mia (Jordana Brewster) are settling down with their son, Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) is still trying to get her memory back, and Tej (Ludacris) and Roman (Tyrese Gibson) are still clowning around. The story would be simple if it was just about Deckard tracking them down, but this F&F franchise doesn’t do simple. Costars Nathalie

APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17

A&E// FILM LISTINGS

A&E // FILM

Emmanuel, Djimon Hounsou, Kurt Russell and the late Paul Walker’s two real-life brothers, Caleb and Cody, who are body doubles and stand-ins for their brother. — D.H.

adventures of Noel Marshall and Tippi Hedren, mom to Melanie Griffith, who’s mom to Dakota Fifty Shades of Grey Johnson. There’s a big ol’ lion a-roar on the promo, so …

HOME Rated PG HBO’s The Normal Heart showed that Jim Parsons can handle a lot more than The Big Bang Theory. So what has he chosen for his all-important transition to mainstream cinema? Lilo and Sheldon! You don’t have to strain too hard to hear a whole mess of Dr. Cooper in his voicing of Oh, an alien who strikes up a friendship with a human girl. A few more play-itsafe moves like this, and I’m going to claim a violation of our Roommate Agreement. — S.S.

RUN ALL NIGHT ***@ Rated R Jimmy Conlon’s (Liam Neeson) done murder, abandoning his family and being a terrible father. Jimmy’s been an assassin for New York City mob boss Shawn Maguire (Ed Harris, another stalwart veteran), whose hot-headed son Danny (Boyd Holbrook) is primed to take over the family business. Jimmy’s estranged son Michael (Joel Kinnaman) works as a limo driver and, through a weird coincidence, Michael sees Danny murder in cold blood. Michael and Danny fight, and Jimmy kills Danny. — D.H.

IT FOLLOWS ***@ Rated R Writer-director David Robert Mitchell’s premise is simple yet terrifying. Teenager Jay (Maika Monroe) goes to the movies on her first date with Hugh (Jake Weary). Hugh is spooked by a woman invisible to Jay. On their second date, after car sex, Hugh, in a highly questionable demonstration of pillow talk, covers Jay’s face with a chloroform-soaked rag. When she wakes, Jay is in a warehouse, strapped in a wheelchair, as Hugh nervously explains, “It’s gonna follow you. Somebody gave it to me. And I gave it to you.”

“It” arrives – a lumbering, zombie-like nude woman. The combination of inventive camera work, a pulse-pounding soundscape, Mitchell’s recurring motifs and scenes that contrast the ’burbs with the ’hood, helps elevate this above typical horror fare. Most important, Mitchell’s script stays on point. — Daniel A. Brown KUMIKO THE TREASURE HUNTER Not Rated A hapless Japanese woman (Rinko Kikuchi) watches an old VHS tape of Fargo and thinks it’s based on a true story, so she sets out to look for all that cash Steve Buscemi’s character buried in the snow off a remote back road in North Dakota. The fantasy, from the Zellner brothers, David and Nathan, costars Nobuyuki Katsube and Shirley Venard.

LITTLE BOY Rated PG-13 Roma Downey and Mark Burnett (A.D.: The Bible Continues) are executive producers of this faith-based homily about a California tyke who becomes convinced that performing acts of charity will move God to end World War II and bring his dad home. “Cloying and callous,” says Variety, which questions the decency of suggesting that dropping a couple of atomic bombs on civilian populations is worth the life of one little towheaded bastard’s pop. I dunno – wouldn’t you nuke Dayton and Scranton to get Bob Belcher back? — S.S. THE LONGEST RIDE Rated PG-13 The Nicholas Sparks big-screen adaptation details a romantic relationship between Luke (Scott Eastwood, who looks a lot like his daddy Clint, hubba hubba), a bull rider, and Sophia (Britt Robertson), a college student poised to make waves on the NYC art scene. Costars Oona Chaplin, Lolita Davidovich and Melissa Benoist. — S.S. MERCHANTS OF DOUBT Rated PG-13 This documentary is quite timely, if you’re Dr. Oz. Robert Kenner and Km Roberts showcase those who discuss toxic chemicals, pharmaceuticals and climate change as if their learned opinions were all we need to know. What we need to know is the truth.

MONKEY KINGDOM ***@ Rated G People care about characters, and the more like humans those characters seem, the better. Disneynature label offers a charming, educational and occasionally exasperating story, narrated by Tina Fey, about a troop of toque macaque monkeys living in the forests of Sri Lanka. There’s Maya, the plucky heroine at the bottom of the macaque social hierarchy, dominated by alpha male Raja and a trio of females, the Three Sisters. There’s roguish young male Kumar, who sweeps Maya off her monkey feet before being chased off by Raja. Soon, there’s baby Kip, Maya’s adorable offspring who becomes the focus of her survival instincts.

Directors Alastair Fothergill and Mark Linfield have a talent for getting shots that are even more impressive when you see the behind-the-scenes footage during the credits. By the time Maya gets her almost-happy ending, it’s tempting to roll your eyes at the Disney-ness of it all – but maybe it’s that Disney-ness that kept you watching. — Scott Renshaw PAUL BLART: MALL COP 2 Rated PG Paul Blart (Kevin James) is on a Vegas vacation. But we all know, eagle-eyed Paul never relaxes, so he’s compelled to keep the streets of Las Vegas safe. Hilairty ensues. Costars Raini Rodriguez, Eduardo Verástegui and Ana Gasteyer.

ROAR Rated PG Opens May 1. The 1981 movie is about the African

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HEROES AND VILLAINS

COMIC BOOK blockbuster sequel toys with our ideas of good and bad guys

SONS OF SATYAMURTHY Not Rated The family drama costars Allu Arjun, Upendra and Samantha Ruth Prabhu. In Telugu.

TRUE STORY Rated R What the Venture Brothers once called “a deadly game of cat and also cat,” this reality-based thriller brings a newspaper reporter (Jonah Hill) into the orbit of a murder suspect (James Franco) who stole his identity. Robert Durst has really raised the bar for this sort of thing: We won’t be satisfi ed unless a true-crime tale ends with the accused making a heart-stopping confession and committing harakiri with a ballpoint pen right there before our eyes. But look closely at that cast: You just know the big reveal here is gonna be that they’re both Seth Rogen. — S.S. UNFRIENDED Rated R Cyberhorror for millennials – young people in a chat room are the focus of a supernatural entity who logs on as a friend of theirs who is, coincidentally, dead.

THE WATER DIVINER Rated R For his first foray behind the camera, Russell Crowe directs his favorite actor – himself! – in a historical drama about an Australian widower/dad determined to retrieve the bodies of his sons, who have perished in the Battle of Gallipoli. See, if he had just listened to Roma Downey and Mark Burnett, he could’ve prayed real hard, and World War I would have ended the minute it started, with the Allies dropping the Big One on the guy who shot Archduke Ferdinand. Sixteen million lives saved, Crowe settles into perpetual paternal bliss, and years later, there’s one less hotel clerk with a phone-shaped dent in his noggin. Epic win all around. — S.S. WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS ***G Not Rated This film takes a recurring idea and drives a stake deep into the heart of ... well, you get the idea. Written and directed

by Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi, Shadows injects a shot of macabre into the buddy picture scene, focusing on a group of vampires living in a decrepit house on the outskirts of Wellington who’ve allowed a camera crew to document their day-to-day – or rather night-to-night – existence. Costars Jonathan Brugh, Ben Fransham, Cori Gonzalez-Macuer and Rhys Darby. — D.A.B. WHILE WE’RE YOUNG **@@ Rated R Middle-aged married couple Josh (Ben Stiller) and Cornelia (Naomi Watts) are feeling like failures, in their careers and their marriage. They meet aspiring filmmaker Jamie (Adam Driver) and his wife Darby (Amanda Seyfried), who makes ice cream. Jamie and Darby are 25 years old and just as hipster cute as they can be. He wears a fedora, ferchrissakes. But Josh develops a bromance with the guy and it fires him up. The relationship evolves, things change and some people aren’t what they seem. While We’re Young could and should have done more with its subject matter by being sharper and more blunt to social woes. — D.H. WILD TALES Rated R The Oscar nominee for Best Foreign Language Film features six short stories about various people in various stages of trauma, road rage, and general out-of-control behavior. In Spanish with English subtitles.

WOMAN IN GOLD Rated PG-13 Before they discovered the therapeutic hobby of fl ying passenger planes into mountain ranges, some Germans were actually kinda dicks. For instance, did you know they stole other people’s paintings? Honest to God! They just up and swiped family portraits that weren’t even their property, forcing folks like Helen Mirren to spend six decades trying to get the damn things back. All of which leads me to wonder what we’re going to be trying to retrieve from ISIS in 2075: Selfies from a trip to Dave & Buster’s? — S.S.

S

neaky superhero movie! It was another Tony and Bruce have finally gone full caped-crusader tradition that gave us the mad-scientist. It’s a fascinating upending of idea that heroes who don’t die in the line genre tradition that might make this flick work of duty live to become villains, but it took The for nonfans, even though it assumes a lot of Avengers to let it play out onscreen. The bad familiarity with what’s come before, like, you guys in Age of Ultron? Tony Stark and Bruce know what Loki’s scepter and Hydra are about Banner. For real. without having to be told. It’s not all gloom, In Tony’s case, his villainy is externalized though. Director Joss Whedon ensures that in Ultron, an AI creation he’s been working on Ultron continues the Avengers tradition of big, for years that he can finally bring to fruition bold action blockbusters that don’t need to toss now that the Avengers have reacquired Loki’s away thoughtfulness to remain pure popcorn wondrous scepter from what’s left of Hydra (as fun. Tony’s and Bruce’s second-guessing of told in the opening sequence); something to their work is more comic-book soap opera do with the extra computing power the scepter than serious drama anyway, as are some of offers. Ultron (the voice of James Spader) has the other things we learn about the personal some of Tony’s (Robert Downey Jr.) attitudes, lives of the Avengers here: romance is budding but a glitch in its “birth” between Natasha (Scarlett makes it go a bit cyber-insane; AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON Johansson) and Bruce, though it extrapolates Tony’s notion she has to push it a bit; and ***@ of world peace to mean “a Clint, aka Hawkeye (Jeremy Rated PG-13 planet without humans.” Now Renner), turns out to have a it’s gotten loose and must be surprising secret. The finale stopped, natch. It’s not so much the twisting is truly sci-fi superhero action movie-movie of Tony’s attitude that’s the near-villainy here whackadoodle, taking urban destruction to a but that Tony was keeping more secrets — and new (antigravity-assisted) level.

Ultron is a huge one — from the people who The film isn’t without problems. Rampant are supposed to be saving the planet with urban destruction — Seoul also takes a him. The other Avengers learn about this new beating here — is getting tiresome. The FX danger to the planet after it tries to kill them in the opening attack-on-Hydra sequence are all. This literally ruins the Avengers’ party. surprisingly cartoonish. And those 45-minute In poor Bruce’s case, though, it really is battle finales have to go: It’s overkill, and we’ve he who has become a menace. Well, the Hulk had enough. Can we find something new for has, anyway. In the middle of a battle rage that these movies to do? gets even more out of control than usual, the The cool thing is, Age of Ultron ends Hulk goes on a rampage that causes massive by suggesting that yes, maybe we can find destruction in downtown Johannesburg, something new. Big changes are initiated, stopped only when Iron Man — in Hulkindicating that the team, at least, is going to be scaled power armor — steps in … and it’s very different next time out. This is a franchise no easy thing, either. It’s a fairly horrifying that isn’t afraid to move on from aspects that sequence, watching friend forced to battle aren’t working anymore, and any tiredness in friend and knowing that Bruce doesn’t want some of the characters is confronted directly to do this (never mind what the innocent and dealt with. When I say that this is the injured people of Jo’burg must be feeling). weakest of the Avengers movies so far, I don’t The horror he feels, once he transforms back mean that it isn’t still hugely enjoyable. Any into his human self (a remorse that continues complaints are mollified by the hint that this through the rest of the film), is palpable. huge ongoing story isn’t going to be shying Mark Ruffalo is fantastic as the uncontrollable away from refreshing itself as needed. green behemoth, showing us that The Hulk is MaryAnn Johanson dangerous to everyone, not just bad guys. mail@folioweekly.com

A&E // ARTS & EVENTS PERFORMANCE

SLEEPING BEAUTY BALLET Dancers from the First Coast Nutcracker and Douglas Anderson School of the Arts join forces with the Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra for Tchaikovsky’s classic adaptation of the fairy tale at 8 p.m. May 2 and 3 p.m. May 3 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 Water St., Downtown, $35-$65, 354-3578, jaxsymphony.org.

REAL DIAMOND Neil Diamond impersonator Curtis DiDomizio and his Real Diamond Band present “The Real Diamond: Neil Diamond Tribute” at 8 p.m. (dinner 6 p.m.) May 6-9; 1:15 p.m.

May 9 (lunch 11 a.m.) and 2 p.m. (lunch at noon) May 10.

Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menu is featured; at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 641-1212, $64, alhambrajax.com.

A GRAND NIGHT FOR SINGING Orange Park Community Theatre stages a musical revue of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s classic songs at 8 p.m. May 1 and 2 and 3 p.m. May 3 at 2900 Moody Ave., Orange Park, 276-2599, $20; $15 for students, opct.org.

MUSICAL THEATRE SHOWCASE Kevin Covert directs Douglas Anderson School of the Arts students in this night of music at 5 and 7:30 p.m. May 1 at the school’s Main Stage Theater, 2445 San Diego Rd., San Marco, 346-5620, $10 student and advance tickets; $12 at the door; da-arts.org.

DON’T DRESS FOR DINNER Theatre Jacksonville stages a farce about a husband and wife who each decide to have a romantic tryst, and the hysterical mix-ups that ensue, at 8 p.m. May 1 and 2 and 2 p.m. May 3 at 2032 San Marco Blvd., San Marco, 396-4425, $25; $20 seniors, military and students Thur. and Sun.; the play runs through May 9, theatrejax.com.

NO SEX PLEASE, WE’RE BRITISH Limelight Theatre stages the British farce, about the hijinks that ensue when a proper couple accidentally receives Scandinavian pornography in the mail (oh my!), at 7:30 p.m.

May 1 and 2 and 2 p.m. May 3 at 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, 825-1164, $25; $20 seniors, military, students; through May 10, limelight-theatre.org.

FRACTURED FAIRY TALES This farce of classic fairytales, featuring Snow White, Peter Pan, Rumpelstiltskin and other faves, is staged at 6 p.m.

April 29 and May 1 and 2 at Players by the Sea, 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach, 249-0289, $10, playersbythesea.org.

INTO THE WOODS JR. The whimsical fairytale farce, featuring favorite characters including Cinderella and Little Red Riding Hood, is staged at 8 p.m. April 30 and May 1 and at 2 p.m. May 2 at Players by the Sea, 249-0289, $15, playersbythesea.org.

ON GOLDEN POND Mike Farrell (M*A*S*H) stars in Ernest Thompson’s Tonywinning drama about a sometimes-turbulent relationship between a woman and her father. Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menu is featured; through May 3, at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 641-1212, $35-$55, alhambrajax.com.

CLASSICAL, CHOIR & JAZZ

TUNES FROM THE PAST Ed Arrington plays classics from the ’30s to the ’60s at 6:30 p.m. April 29 at Clay County Headquarters Library, 1895 Town Center Blvd., Fleming Island, 278-3722, claycountygov.com.

FACULTY RECITAL Pianist Gary Smart and clarinetist Sunshine Simmons perform at 7:30 p.m. April 29 at University of North Florida’s Recital Hall, 620-2878, unf.edu/coas/music/calendar.aspx.

CHRIS BOTTI Grammy award-winning jazz trumpeter Botti is on at 8 p.m. April 30 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $35-$75, floridatheatre.com.

ST. AUGUSTINE ORCHESTRA William McNeiland conducts the 80-piece community orchestra at 2 p.m. May 3 at Flagler College’s Flagler Room, 74 King St., St. Augustine, 797-2800, emmaconcerts.com.

ST. JOHN’S CATHEDRAL CHOIR EVENSONG Organist Tim Tuller conducts the choir performing works

by Batten, Goodenough, Alyeward, Dyson, and Bairstow.

Jacksonville Pipes and Drums also perform, 5 p.m. May 3 at St. John’s Cathedral, 256 E. Church St., Downtown, 356-5507.

JAZZ IN PONTE VEDRA The Gary Starling Group (Carol Sheehan, Billy Thornton, Peter Miles) 7:30 p.m. Thur., Table 1, 330 A1A N., 280-5515.

JAZZ IN MANDARIN Boril Ivanov Trio, 7 p.m. Thur.; pianist David Gum 7 p.m. Fri. at Tree Steakhouse, 11362 San Jose Blvd., 262-0006.

JAZZ IN NEPTUNE BEACH 7:30 p.m. Sat., Lillie’s Coffee Bar, 200 First St., 249-2922.

JAZZ IN ATLANTIC BEACH Guitarist Taylor Roberts, 7 p.m. Wed. and Thur., Ocean 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060, ocean60.com.

JAZZ IN AVONDALE The Von Barlow Trio and Third Bass 9 p.m. every Sun. at Casbah Café, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966.

COMEDY

JOHN MULANEY The Emmy-winning SNL writer and alt-comedy favorite performs at 7:30 p.m. May 3 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $28, floridatheatre.com.

MARYELLEN HOOPER Hooper, a veteran of The Dennis Miller Show and The Martin Short Show, performs at 8 p.m. April 30 and 8 and 10 p.m. May 1 and 2 at the Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, $15-$18, 292-4242, comedyzone.com.

DEREK RICHARDS Richards, who’s appeared on The Bob and Tom Show, appears at 8:04 and 10:10 p.m. May 1 and 2 at Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., $10-$17, 646-4277, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

MAD COWFORD IMPROV Weekly PG-13-rated improv shows, based on audience suggestion, are held at 8:15 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at Northstar Substation, 119 E. Bay St., Downtown, $5, 233-2359, madcowford.com.

HOT POTATO COMEDY HOUR Local comics appear 9 p.m. every Mon. at rain dogs., 1045 Park St., Riverside, free, 379-4969.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS

AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM SEEKS WWII ITEMS The Amelia Island Museum of History is seeking WWII historical items, particularly pieces with some association to Florida, to borrow for its upcoming exhibit Florida in World War II. Items will be on display for three to four months.

For more info, call 261-7378, ext. 102 or email gray@ ameliamuseum.org.

UNF SUMMER CAMPS The University of North Florida’s Department of Campus Recreation offers two summer camps for kids ages 5-14.

Youth Sports and Fitness Camp runs June 8-Aug. 7; EcoCamp runs June 8-July 31. For more info, go to unf.edu/ recreation/camps.

ART SUMMER CAMPS IN ST. AUGUSTINE The St. Augustine Art Association offers five summer art camp sessions starting in June for kids in grades 1-6 and ages 12 and up. For more info, go to staaa.org.

HOMESCHOOL THEATRE CLASSES The Performing Arts Studio at Players by the Sea offers theater classes for home-schooled students. Elementary school classes are held 1-2 p.m. every Tue. May 5-26; middle school 1-2 p.m. every Wed.; high school 1-2 p.m. every Thur. May 7-28; $50. For details and to register, call 249-0289 or email gary@playersbythsea.org.

JACKSONVILLE 48-HOUR FILM PROJECT REGISTRATION Registration for the 2015 48HFP is now open through May 11; $140 per team; $160 after May 11; go to 48hourfilm. com/jacksonville.

COMMUNITY FOUNDATION GRANTS The Community Foundation of Northeast Florida accepts submissions for Art Ventures (deadline May 15) and Dr. JoAnn Crisp-Ellert Fund (deadline May 15). For details, go to jaxcf.org.

VERBAL ESSENCE Open mic poetry and musical performances are 7 p.m. every Mon. at the Ritz Theatre & Museum, free, 807-2010, ritzjacksonville.com.

ART WALKS & MARKETS

COMMUNITY FARMERS & ARTS MARKET Baked goods, preserves, honey, crafts, art, hand-crafted jewelry are featured, 4-7 p.m. every Wed., 4300 St. Johns Ave., Riverside, 607-9935.

DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts and crafts, local produce are featured, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. every Fri. at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 353-1188.

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Local and regional art, a free yoga session 9-10 a.m., local music – FSCJ DanceWORKS, Lauren Fincham with Mike Pearson, Spiral Bound, LaVilla SOA Dance starting 10:30 a.m. May 2 – food artists and a farmers’ row are featured, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. every Sat. under Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com.

FIRST WEDNESDAY ART WALK The downtown art walk, 5-9 p.m. every first Wed., features more than 13 live music venues, more than 13 hotspots open after 9 p.m. and 50 total participating venues, spanning 15 blocks in Downtown Jacksonville. iloveartwalk.com.

FIRST FRIDAY ART WALK The tour of Art Galleries of St. Augustine is held every first Fri., with more than 15 galleries participating, 829-0065.

MUSEUMS

AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY 233 S. Third St., Fernandina Beach, 261-7378, ameliamuseum.org. Portraits of American Beach is on display.

AMERICAN BEACH MUSEUM American Beach Community Center, 1600 Julia St., Fernandina, 277-7960, nassaucountyfl.com/facilities.

The Sands of Time: An American Beach Story, celebrating MaVynee Betsch, “The Beach Lady,” is on display.

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummer.org. Dolf James’ public art installation Equal Point is on display through June 1. Reflections: Artful Perspectives on the St. Johns River, on display through Oct. 18. All Together: The Sculpture of Chaim Gross, on display through Oct. 4. British Watercolors on display through Nov. 29. Public garden tours are held at 11 a.m. every Tue. and Thur.

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A&E //ARTS

A HUMOROUS STANCE

From solo standup to SNL, JOHN MULANEY has his feet placed firmly in the contemporary comedy scene

idea how I would do there. But I was pleasantly surprised that I was good with assignments, and I can be pretty lazy without them sometimes. I’ve been touring lately, but in terms of writing, I was being very lazy, and then the SNL 40th anniversary rolled around and they called me and asked if I would write some stuff — and I had it done in hours. It’s weird, because I hated school, but in the comedy world, I do well with structure like that.

J

ohn Mulaney is a smart guy. I don’t know if he can perform open-heart surgery or master time travel, but his comedy is very smart and very funny. From his solo standup act to his role as George St. Geegland alongside Nick Kroll’s Gil Faizon as the “Oh Hello” comedy duo — they portray a pair of decidedly non-PC senior citizens — Mulaney’s routine oozes with sincerity, even when the stories may be hard to believe.

Self-deprecating, astute and quick on his feet, Mulaney elevates observational humor from hackneyed clichés to the hilariously absurd.

The 32-year-old Chicago native has starred in a slew of successful standup specials, released two well-received albums and won an Emmy for his work on Saturday Night Live. His eponymously named FOX primetime sitcom (2013-’15) bombed with critics but only fortified his loyal fanbase.

John Mulaney recently took time out of his busy day to talk with Folio Weekly about his time writing for and appearing on Saturday Night Live, working with Martin Short and Elliott Gould, and discussing hot lady ass with a random stranger in the cradle of civilization.

I went to school with Nick Kroll and Mike Birbiglia and they were the only people I knew that were doing this after graduation, so that was the place to go for me. But who knows, if they had gone to Denver I may have gone to Denver.

But if you’d gone to Denver, we might not have ever heard the bits about crazy homeless people who are new in town, or abandoned wheelchairs.

A lot of crazy people come up to me and say things. I’ve found that just happens a lot. I was in Jordan and this guy came up to me and just started talking about women’s asses that he’d seen. This was in Petra, near the ruins where they fi lmed Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, and this Jordanian guy just started talking to me about some woman’s ass — so maybe I have a sign on me that says “Please come up to me and say anything.”

You are an Emmy award-winning writer/ producer for Saturday Night Live, so I assume you did a ton of hard drugs, based on what I’ve read about the show.

But you also may have read about the past 30 Folio Weekly: A lot of years of SNL where JOHN MULANEY your comedy that I’ve nobody does drugs.

7:30 p.m. May 3 at The Florida Theatre, heard talks about insane I’ll be honest, I have Downtown, $28, floridatheatre.com things that happen no connection to the to you. I imagine beginning of Saturday cutting your teeth as a comedian can be Night Live, but it’s just a very different place. both rewarding and frustrating. Is that the I mean, the idea of doing anything but taking place you need to go as a young comedian to care of yourself to survive is very different. succeed?

I may be talking out of turn, but I think we John Mulaney: I think you need to go to a produced more work than they did in the ’70s city with a lot of comedians, but there are and we also pre-taped a bunch of things. few different approaches to it. New York has tons of comedians, tons of clubs and tons of It sounds like a real job. people that might be looking for comedians Yeah, it’s still a fun, crazy job and you still get to cast them or for late-night spots. But then to be up really late and live sort of a vampire I think there are so many great comics that existence, but the idea of how much you ruin maybe came out of being in San Francisco yourself during the week already, the idea of or Chicago or Austin for a couple of years. adding hard drugs to that sounds … difficult.

You can develop with other comics your age without all the chaos that is New York.

What did you learn about yourself while you were working there?

Why go to New York then instead of Chicago?

I’m good at assignments. I was very, very I sort of got into it because I already had productive there. I never really wrote sketches friends living there who were doing comedy; before I worked at Saturday Night Live. I had no 22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2015

Obviously, your character from SNL, Stefon, is someone we all know and love. Did you write any characters who were left on the cutting-room floor that you wish had made it?

Yeah, hundreds. Well … yes and no. Sometimes it becomes fun that they didn’t make it. Like, now in my memory, I’m almost fonder of them because they were outcasts. Sometimes it’s fun to have your idea cut long term, because you can think how it could’ve been amazing without exposing it to an audience.

My favorite character of yours is George St. Geegland from “Oh, Hello” and “Too Much Tuna” fame. Since, sadly, Kroll Show is no longer, what is George up to?

I’d imagine he’s hounding Nick Kroll, and calling Comedy Central every day, confused and angry. But I think Nick Kroll and I will be doing more with those characters in the future. I’d do “Oh Hello” forever; I don’t think I’d ever get tired of it.

George’s one-step-beyond what should ever be said to anyone is fantastic.

He always has some crass, unfunny artless thing to say. I really like artless, lazy jokes, I like a character who says flatly insulting things and thinks it’s funny. Just mean and piling on.

You got to work with Martin Short and Elliott Gould on your sitcom. What was it like to work with comedy legends and what experiences did you gain from having your own show?

Everything creative in the making of the show was really fun. And we made all 13 episodes before it premiered, so we kind of got to make it in a bubble, and for that I’m really grateful. It can be hard and frustrating to make a TV show and get feedback as you are working, because you try to recalibrate, and sometimes there’s internal or external pressure. I am really grateful that I got to make the show I wanted. As for working with Martin and Elliott, I’m still not quite used to the fact that I know them. This may sound corny, but as I was writing it, I thought about how perfect it would be if Martin Short could be my boss and Elliott Gould could be my next-door neighbor. It really was like a wish list thing.

Danny Kelly mail@folioweekly.com

A&E // ARTS & EVENTS LIGHTNER MUSEUM 75 King St., St. Augustine, 824-2874, lightnermuseum.org.

Curator-led monthly tours of the museum are featured at 10 a.m. every first Wed. MANDARIN MUSEUM AT WALTER JONES PARK 11964 Mandarin Rd., 268-0784, mandarinmuseum.net.

Permanent exhibits include the Civil War steamship Maple Leaf artifacts, Harriet Beecher Stowe items and other Mandarin historical pieces.

MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 366-6911, mocajacksonville. com. The exhibit In Time We Shall Know Ourselves, featuring the photographs of Raymond Smith, is on display through Aug. 30. The exhibit Art Aviators Exhibition is on display through Aug. 16. Project Atrium: Angela Glajcar is on display through June 28.

MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank, 396-6674, themosh.org.

The opening reception for the GAAM ICONS show, featuring eight-foot-tall recreations of Nintendo’s “Super Smash Brothers” video game, a “Smash Brothers” tourney and cosplay icons, is held at 8 p.m. May 2; $20 advance; $25 at the door. Skies Over Jacksonville, a live star show, is held 2 p.m. daily in the Planetarium.

GALLERIES

ADELE GRAGE CULTURAL CENTER 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-5828. Works by Judy Pino are featured through April 30.

THE ART CENTER II 229 N. Hogan St., Downtown, 355-1757. Under the Sea and Beneath the River is on display.

BREW FIVE POINTS 1024 Park St., Riverside, 374-5789, brewfivepoints. The opening reception for an exhibit of recent works by collage artist Eric Gillyard is held at 7 p.m. May 1. The exhibit is on display through May. BUTTERFIELD GARAGE ART GALLERY 137 King St., St. Augustine, 825-4577. The opening reception for an exhibit featuring works by the late multimedia artist Katherine Parker is held 5-9 p.m. May 1.

The exhibit is on display through June 2.

CoRK ARTS DISTRICT 2689 Rosselle St., Riverside. The exhibit Haikus Well-Hung, featuring screenprints by George Cornwell, graphic design

by Kedgar Volta, and haiku contributions from Matthew Abercrombie, Daniel N. Austin, Michael Cavendish, John E. Citrone, Barbara Colaciello, Mark Creegan, Jim Draper, Lauren Fincham, Karen Kurycki, Al Letson, Keith Marks, Hiromi Moneyhun, Noli Novak, Tony Rodrigues, Shaun Thurston, Robert Arleigh White, Steve Williams and Larry Wilson, is currently on display. The exhibit Art Nasal – exhibition de Arte, featuring new works by Mac Truque, Caroline Daley, Sharla Valeski, Suzi West and Paul Ladnier, is currently on display.

CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530. The reception for the biannual exhibition of work by students graduating from the Department of Art & Design is held 5-9 p.m. April 30. Live music by Telepathic Lines starts at 6 p.m.

FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928. Recent works by

Ginifer Brinkley are on display through May 25.

FLORIDA MINING GALLERY 5300 Shad Road, Jacksonville. 535-7252. Caitlin Hurd’s Daydreams from Brooklyn is on display through June 30.

J. JOHNSON GALLERY 177 Fourth Ave. N., Jax Beach, 435-3200. There is Only Dance: The Paintings of Yolanda Sánchez is on display through May 15.

RITZ THEATRE & MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., 632-5555, ritzjacksonville.com. Through Our Eyes 2015: Wouldn’t Take Nothing for My Journey (An Artistic Revolution), works of 20 local African-American artists, is on display through July 28.

ROTUNDA GALLERY St. Johns County Admin. Bldg., 500 San Sebastian View, St. Augustine, 471-9980. The opening reception for the St. Augustine Camera Club’s Annual Photography Show is held 8:15-9 a.m. May 5. The exhibit is on display through July 23.

SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 201 N. Hogan St., Ste. 100, Downtown, 438-4358, southlightgallery.com. Recent works by Matthew Winghart and Shayna Raymond are on display through May 6.

ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., St. Augustine, 824-2310, staaa.org. An opening reception for the exhibit Iconic St. Augustine, featuring works by Emmett Fritz, Frances Howatt, Courtenay Hunt, Walter Yeomans, Celia Reid, Joseph Jeffers Dodge, William L’Engle, Dick Zayak, Jean Wagner Troemel, Don Taylor, Charles Dickinson, Jean Light Willis and Beau Redmond, is held 5-9 p.m. May 1. The exhibit is on display through May. ST. AUGUSTINE VISITOR INFORMATION CENTER 10 W. Castillo Drive, 825-1053, staugustine-450/tapestry.

The exhibit Tapestry: The Cultural Threads of First America, which explores intertwining cultures of Hispanics, Africans and Native Americans and how they helped form the foundation of American culture, is on display through Oct. 4.

STELLERS GALLERY AT PONTE VEDRA 240 A1A N., Ste. 13, 273-6065, stellersgallery.com. Recent works by Laura Lacambra Shubert and Dennis Campay are currently on display.

THRASHER-HORNE GALLERIES Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts, 283 College Dr., Orange Park, 276-6750, thcenter.org. Works by Sarah Crooks Flaire and Charlie Brown are on display through May 28.

EVENTS

TONIGHT! WITH JIM ALABISO The premier taping of Tonight! with Jim Alabiso, featuring yogi Amrit Desai, First Coast Connect’s Melissa Ross, performing artist and arts advocate Robert Arleigh White and playwright, poet and recent Peabody Award-winner Al Letson, is held at 6 p.m. April 30 at The Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, free, 807-2010, ritzjacksonville.com.

MOSH AFTER DARK “Science of Magic,” featuring Matt Durham, Remy Connor and Doug Billingsley, is held 6:30 p.m. April 30 at Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Downtown; general admission is $15; 20 percent off for MOSH members, 396-6674 ext. 226, themosh.org.

BEYOND THE TABLE DINNER

The premier taping of new talk show TONIGHT! WITH JIM ALABISO (pictured) is held at 6 p.m. April 30 at The Ritz Theatre & Museum, Downtown. Guests include yogi Amrit Desai, First Coast Connect’s Melissa Ross, performing artist and arts advocate Robert Arleigh White and playwright, poet and recent Peabody Award-winner Al Letson. Admission is free; tickets at Ritz box office.

APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23

24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2015

WAVEMASTERS 32ND ANNUAL

May 2nd and 3rd

Competitors will be scored by a panel of judges. The role of a judge in a surfing contest is to decide which surfer performs the closest to the “Judging Criteria” in any heat. The fundamental importance of the criteria is that each judge understands what he is looking for from the surfers, and each surfer knows the points on which he is going to be judged.

Saturday, May 2 PRO/AM Surf Contest, Festival Activities and Speakers 8:00 am - 6:00 pm Surfing Preliminaries, Quarterfinals and Semifinals (End time may vary)

7:00 am - 8:00 am 8:30 am - 9:15 am 9:00 am 9:15 am - 10:15 am 10:15 am - 11:15 am 10:00 am - 12:00 pm 11:15 am - 12:00 pm 12:00 pm - 12:15 pm 12:00 pm - 2:00 pm 12:30 pm - 1:15 pm 1:15 pm - 2:00 pm 2:00 pm - 3:00 pm 2:00 pm - 4:00 pm 3:00 pm - 4:00 pm

Yoga with Kelly Bermal Surf Competition Coaching Live Surf Talk with Sean Mattison Nutrition and Health with Jen Mons Fitness with Patty Soud Surf Lessons with Surf Into Summer Surf Forecasting with Chicki Dimain Memorial Paddle Out for Mike Tabeling Surf Lessons with Saltwater Cowgirls Surf Legends Panel Yoga with Courtney Davidson Surfboard Shapers Panel Surf Lessons with Jax Surf & Paddle Surf Photography and Video

Sunday, May 3 PRO/AM Surf Contest

8:00 am - 2:00 pm Completion of Surfing Semifinals and Finals

JUDGING CRITERIA A surfer must execute the most radical controlled maneuvers in the critical section of a wave with speed and power throughout.

The surfer who executes such maneuvers on the biggest and/or best waves for the longest functional distance shall be deemed winner.

JUDGING

The point scoring system to be used is zero to ten broken up into one tenth increments like this:

0 - 2.0 2.0 - 4.0 4.0 - 6.0 6.0 - 8.0 8.0 -10.0

BAD POOR AVERAGE GOOD EXCELLENT

PRIZES

Men’s Pro: $3,000 1st place Women’s Pro: $2,000 1st place Longboard Pro: $1,500 1st place

Please note – All divisions must have at least six entrants to hold that divisions event.

DIVISIONS

Micro-Minis (9 and under) Menehunes (12 and under) Boys (13-14) Jr. Men (15-17) Men (all ages) Masters (30-39) Sr. Men (40-49) Grand Masters (50-59) Legends (60+) Girls (16 and under) Jr. Womens (17-29) Women (30+) Women’s Longboard Jr. Longboard Open Longboard (all ages) Master Longboard (35-49) Sr. Longboard (50-59) Legends Longboard (60+) Tandem (all ages) APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25

A&E // ARTS & EVENTS The Cultural Council at Ponte Vedra presents the internationally themed dinner Beyond the Table, featuring food samplings from 11 area restaurants and wine pairings, open bar, appetizers, silent auction and live entertainment, 6-10 p.m. April 30 at Nocatee Crosswater Hall, 245 Nocatee Center Way, Ponte Vedra Beach, $150; $125 for members; resort attire requested, 280-0614 ext. 205, ccpvb.org.

STEVE BERRY Berry discusses and signs copies of his new Cotton Malone thriller, The Patriot Threat, 7 p.m. April 30 at The BookMark, 220 First St., Neptune Beach, 241-9026.

ONEJAX HUMANITARIAN AWARDS Area notables are honored 7-9 p.m. April 30 at the 45th annual OneJax Humanitarian Awards dinner, held at Hyatt Regency Riverfront, 225 E. Coastline Drive, Jacksonville.

The annual dinner honors those who have demonstrated an unwavering commitment to strengthening relationships in Jacksonville. Tickets are $200; 620-1529.

ADULT TWILIGHT BYOB CRUISES A two-hour tour is offered 6:30-8:30 p.m. April 30, featuring Dan Voll, at Amelia River Cruises, 1 N. Front St., Fernandina Beach. Jim Bacararo performs May 1. Tickets are $28 plus tax; 261-9972, ameliarivercruises.com.

DINING OUT FOR LIFE The Northeast Florida AIDS Network (NFAN) presents the 10th annual Dining Out for Life on April 30. It’s a global event; regional restaurants donate a percentage of the night’s proceeds to provide food and additional resources to Northeast Florida’s more than 1,500 HIV/AIDS patients.

For details and a list of participating eateries, go to diningoutforlife.com/jacksonville.

ISLE OF EIGHT FLAGS SHRIMP FEST The 52nd annual Isle of Eight Flags Shrimp Festival offers three full days of family fun including a ton of seafood and other foods, arts and crafts and antique vendors, a kidzone, live music (including classic rockers The Edgar Winter Band and The Swingin’ Medallions), the traditional Invasion of the Pirates, a shrimp boat contest and a beard contest! May 1-3 in downtown Fernandina Beach; for a full schedule, go to shrimpfestival.com.

ST. AUGUSTINE CHALK WALK PASEO PASTEL In honor of the Oldest City’s 450th commemoration, the third annual walk is held May 1, 2 and 3. More than 60 chalk artists create colorful works in the theme of “Happy Birthday St. Augustine.” For more information, call 315-3963 or go to st.augustinechalkwalk.com.

CULTURAL COUNCIL AWARDS

The 39th annual Jacksonville Cultural Council Awards, honoring 2015’s recipients Dr. Mauricio Gonzalez, Amber Amerson, Cari Sanchez-Potter, Kedgar Volta, Al Letson and Martha “Marty” Lanahan, is held 7-11 p.m. May 2 in the SPARK District on the rooftop of 33 W. Duval St., Downtown, $175, culturalcouncil.org/artsawards.

CLEAN AIR FESTIVAL Games, crafts, animal encounters and full access to exhibits are featured as part of 2015 Year of the River, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. May 2 at Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank; free, 396-6674, themosh.org.

WAVEMASTERS SURF FESTIVAL The 32nd annual Jacksonville Beach festival fave includes a surfing contest (duh, dude!) featuring 300 competitors, surfing lessons, yoga classes and panel discussions May 2 and 3. For a full schedule of events, go to wavemasterssurffestival.com.

MOON OVER MATANZAS SOIREE The St. Johns Cultural Council presents the annual fundraiser, featuring Spanish food, wine and live music from 7-9 p.m. May 3 aboard the ship El Galeon, docked at St. Augustine Municipal Marina, 111 Avenida Menendez, $50; $90 per couple, proceeds benefit community arts projects, stjohnsculture.org.

JACKSONVILLE SUNS The Suns homestand ends with a 1:05 p.m. game April 29 (businessperson’s special). next up at home are four games against the Pensacola Blue Wahoos, starting at 11:05 a.m.

May 11 (Celebration of Reading Day – no beer sold), 7:05 p.m. May 12 (Folio Weekly family feast night), 11:05 a.m.

May 13 (Celebration of Reading Day – no beer sold), 7:05 p.m. May 14 (college ID discount, Nurses Night, Thursday Night Throwdown) and 7:05 p.m. May 15 (fireworks, ’90s Night, Breast Cancer Awareness Night with ladies’ pink cap giveaway). All the action is at Bragan Field, Baseball Grounds, 301 Randolph Blvd., Downtown. Tickets $7.50$25.50; 358-2846, jaxsuns.com.

SHOREBIRD NESTING SEASON The Florida Department of Environmental Protection’s Talbot Islands State Parks requests assistance to respect nesting shorebirds through August. Species nest there, including Wilson’s plovers, killdeer, willets, American oystercatchers, black skimmers, gull-billed terns and least terns. Clearly marked “environmentally sensitive” areas on the beach are closed to protect the nests. For details, call 251-2320 or go to floridastateparks.org/park/Little-Talbot-Island.

DAILY EVENTS AT HEMMING PARK Hemming Park offers free yoga, group fitness and live

Limelight Theatre in St. Augustine At the JACKSONVILLE CITY WIDE DANCE MARATHON, stages the British farce NO SEX participants are challenged to stay on their feet PLEASE, WE’RE BRITISH, from May 1 for 8.3 hours! Non-dancers can enjoy live music, through May 10. games and food. It’s held April 25 at Aloft Hotel on the Southside; proceeds benefit Wolfson Children’s Hospital and the pediatric programs at UF Health Jacksonville through Children’s Miracle Network.

26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2015

A&E // MUSIC

ROCK OF AGES Chicago rock juggernaut WILCO celebrates its 20th anniversary by continuing to defy expectations

W

ilco might be the only band in the American canon that’s hailed on one hand as sonic innovators and derided on the other as the epitome of “dad rock.”

The Chicago-based outfit rose from the ashes of Uncle Tupelo, the sometimes-rowdy, sometimes-reverent roots-rock band that Jeff Tweedy and Jay Farrar founded together in Belleville, Illinois, in 1987. Uncle Tupelo dictated the terms of the nascent alt-country movement — No Depression, the title of its 1990 debut album, became the genre’s rallying cry — but infighting between Tweedy and Farrar caused the band to disintegrate just as it was gaining mainstream ground.

Farrar continued down his somber, devotedly acoustic path with Son Volt, while Tweedy and the rest of the remaining Uncle Tupelo lineup founded Wilco, to move in more exploratory directions. The path forward wasn’t easy, though. Wilco’s 1994 debut A.M. was a chip off the old Uncle Tupelo block, even though Wilco lightened up with shiny guitar licks and starry-eyed melodies. Two years later, though, Tweedy and the band raised the bar with Being There, an ambitious 19-song suite of stylistically diverse songs that blended soulful keyboards from new member Jay Bennett with elaborate orchestral arrangements, classic pop hooks, and heartbreakingly personal lyrics.

Tweedy insisted that Reprise Records release the double album at the usual price ($17.98) instead of a more prohibitive one ($30), and Reprise agreed, on the condition that the band give up its royalties. Wilco lost an estimated $600,000 on the project, but Tweedy proved that he and his creative cohorts could deconstruct and reinvent traditional rock ‘n’ roll in subtly magnificent ways — at a time when hip-hop, dance-pop, and rap-rock dominated the pop-culture conversation.

Next, Wilco agreed to record an album of Woody Guthrie’s lyrics with English troubadour Billy Bragg. The resulting Mermaid Avenue sessions were hailed as masterpieces, but Bragg and Wilco clashed over the final mixes, cementing Tweedy’s reputation as a combative square peg actively resisting Americana’s tightly constrained

circular hole. 1999’s Summerteeth furthered that feeling, as the band employed prodigious overdubs and balanced radio-ready hits with drug-hazed minor-key meditations. The 17song collection still sounds deliciously weird today, but Summerteeth was the creative bridge between the old Wilco and the new, which fully bloomed on 2002’s Yankee Hotel Foxtrot.

The band spent three years on that album, hunkered down in their Chicago loft, and Tweedy alienated his band members by enlisting the help of multi-instrumentalist/ producer Jim O’Rourke. He recommended

Gamble Rogers Music Festival:

WILCO with ROYAL THUNDER

7 p.m. May 1, St. Augustine Amphitheatre, $36-$46, staugamphitheatre.com.

drummer Glenn Kotche, who eventually edged out founding beat-keeper Ken Coomer; when Jay Bennett balked at the new material’s streamlined production, he was summarily fired. Once YHF was completed, Reprise Records rejected it outright, relinquishing the album’s masters to nullify the contract. A Sept. 11, 2001 release date cast an even more prophetic pall over the project.

These struggles were covered prodigiously in print, online, and in the tense, tragic documentary I Am Trying to Break Your Heart: A Film about Wilco. But that attention also emboldened the band to fully seize its own means of production; without a label to protest, they streamed Yankee Hotel Foxtrot for free on WilcoWorld.net before it was officially released. The album then went on to sell 600,000 units, to countless year-end bestof lists, and become a watershed moment in indie rock history.

After that, everything Wilco touched turned to gold. Between 2002 and 2004, the addition of accomplished multiinstrumentalist Pat Sansone, sound scientist Mikael Jorgensen, and avant-garde guitar hero Nels Cline turned Wilco into one of the

most formidable lineups in the world. 2004’s A Ghost Is Born won two Grammys and debuted in the Billboard Top 10; 2007’s Sky Blue Sky was the first fully collaborative effort in Wilco history and cracked the Top Five.

2009’s Wilco (The Album), and 2011’s The Whole Love may be less audacious, but they’re still eminently enjoyable.

There have been low points. Jeff Tweedy battled substance abuse and severe depression in the mid-2000s; Jay Bennett died from an accidental overdose in May 2009, only weeks after he sued the band for breach of contract.

Last year, just as Tweedy’s eponymous side project with his son Spencer took off, his wife was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. And last month, Wilco was first celebrated then chided for leading the charge to cancel Indiana tour dates in protest of the state’s religious freedom restoration act.

So who can foresee where Wilco will go from here? They could release rock-solid albums and tour well into the 2020s — or they could abruptly call it quits. Therein lies the beauty of the band’s 20-year history, though; listen in at any point on the spectrum and you can hear life’s fleeting joys and its minor tragedies. Elegant Americana fronted by the tender quaver of Tweedy’s voice.

Squalls of guitar histrionics mixed with downtempo abstraction.

Uncle Tupelo was the scrappy little suburban band that singlehandedly birthed the blue-collar alt-country genre, and today Wilco is an international rock juggernaut.

And they’ve achieved that status without ever following a single trend. Asked last September by Esquire magazine about his career, Tweedy said, “Uncle Tupelo was never cool, [and] Wilco was never cool … There was never an overarching desire or goal of being cool. The desire has been to get better and play better music, sustain ourselves doing this, and feel gratified making something.”

As for that “dad rock” descriptor? Tweedy laughed: “Having that historical arc to look at, well, I’ve been called worse.”

Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com

APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27

A&E // MUSIC Indie faves WEEKEND ATLAS navigate lineup changes and crowdfunding to release debut album

MAPPING OUT THE MUSIC H

and Molly Hatchet to Lil Jon and The Silver ere’s a challenge: A week before local Palms. He’s also vocalist and guitarist for local indie-rock band Weekend Atlas went into rock trio Speaking Cursive. the studio to record their debut album, “Rick made a great impression when the the band’s drummer quit. Then there are the band was first formed and he introduced timetable troubles that come with having a himself to us,” Garcia says. “Since then, he’s roster of seven. But no matter the obstacle, done everything he can to help us. He’s a close Weekend Atlas is doing just fine. friend and an incredibly talented producer Formed in March 2013, the septet’s and musician.” current lineup include Nick Garcia (guitar/ violin/mandolin), Kelly White (vocals/guitar), Unfortunately, the making of the album Brennan Hinck (vocals/guitar), Jacob Casey wasn’t without stumbling blocks. Weekend on bass, Mike Pruitt on keys, drummer John Atlas had a long road ahead of them to get Stribling and Carter Hess to the finished product, on trumpet. including a Kickstarter WEEKEND ATLAS, “Having seven campaign which raised BREAD AND CIRCUS, people who all either go just over $2,000, and LANEY JONES & THE SPIRITS losing a band member at to school, have work, 8 p.m. May 1, Burro Bar, Downtown, $5 or both, there can be the last minute. advance; $7 at the door times where we have “We definitely faced scheduling conflicts,” says a lot of obstacles when WEEKEND ATLAS, COUGAR Garcia, a Jacksonville trying to put together the BARREL, EAST CHINA SEA, native who co-founded album,” Garcia explains, Weekend Atlas with “the biggest challenge DIALECTABLE BEATS 5 p.m. May 6, 1904 Music Hall, Hinck. “But we all take being our drummer Downtown, free the band seriously and quitting the week before make time for practices we went in to record. and performances.”

Luckily, we had an The group took part in this year’s One amazing studio drummer fill in who did a Spark festival as both a creator and performer fantastic job.” and have gigged in spots all over Northeast The Equal Ground, a website that focuses Florida including Jack Rabbits, 1904 Music primarily on indie album reviews, said of Hall, Underbelly, Freebird Live and University the disc, “With the charm of a slow bloom of North Florida’s OZ Music Festival. amidst sunshine, Weekend Atlas makes it “Jacksonville has helped us shape our trendy to be pastoral. Their songs on their sound because of the great indie music scene self-titled album Weekend Atlas are like here,” says Garcia. “We love the music here romps into the woods with a good pipe and and it has influenced our sound a lot.” even better friends.”

They’ve also got quite an impressive With a finished debut full-length under YouTube presence. Check out Weekend Atlas’ their collective belt and a solid lineup official music video for their tune “Faces.” finalized this past January with the addition Imagine a younger and much cleaner-cut of drummer John Stribling, Weekend Atlas is version of Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic looking forward to a bright future.

Zeros, if you will.

“We wanted our first album to pave the It’s no big surprise that the band’s way for us and who we are,” says Garcia. “We Facebook page counts Edward Sharpe as an have had a great response from fans and we’re influence along with The Head and the Heart, looking forward to touring more and getting Mumford & Sons and Noah and the Whale out of Jacksonville. We love it here, but we — influences instantly apparent on their would love to share our music with people self-titled, debut album, which was released outside of Jacksonville.” in January 2015.

This includes a summer tour up along the Weekend Atlas, a 12-track record written East Coast to New York, from July 26 through primarily by Garcia, Hinck and White, was Aug. 8. Check them out away from home if produced, engineered, mixed and mastered you’re going up the coast yourself.

by Richard Leigh Grice. Grice has worked Kara Pound with myriad bands, from Whole Wheat Bread mail@folioweekly.com

28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2015

Austin, Texas-based psych-dub trio HOLIDAY MOUNTAIN (pictured) performs with ISHI April 29 at Underbelly, Downtown Jacksonville

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK SPADE McQUADE 6 p.m. April 29 at Fionn MacCool’s Irish

Pub, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176, Downtown, 374-1247.

COPELAND 7 p.m. April 29, 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown, $15.

KURT LANHAM 7 p.m. April 29 at Ragtime Tavern, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877.

EDDIE SPAGHETTI, DAGGER BEACH 8 p.m. April 29 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $10.

COMPANY OF GHOSTS 8 p.m. April 29 at Shantytown Pub, 22 W. Sixth St., Springfield, 798-8222.

HOLIDAY MOUNTAIN, ISHI 8 p.m. April 29 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, 353-6067, $8.

BILLY BUCHANAN 6 p.m. April 30 at Pusser’s Bar & Grille, 816 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-7766.

TAYLOR CANIFF 6:30 p.m. April 30, 1904 Music Hall, $20.

TIGERS JAW, LEMURIA, SOMOS 7 p.m. April 30, Underbelly, $13 advance; $15 at the door.

Gamble Rogers Tribute Concert: LARRY MANGUM, BOB PATTERSON, JIM CARRICK, CHARLEY SIMMONS 7:30 p.m.

April 30 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., San Marco, 352-7008, $10.

BE EASY 7:30 p.m. April 30 at Latitude 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., Southside, 365-5555.

WHETHERMAN CD Release Party 8 p.m. April 30 at Lillie’s Coffee Bar, 200 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-2922.

JOAN ARMATRADING, BOBBY LEE ROGERS 7:30 p.m. April 30 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, $49.50-$59.50.

MALAKAI 8 p.m. April 30 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown.

MARCHFOURTH! MARCHING BAND 8 p.m. April 30 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473, $20 advance; $25 day of.

EARL SWEATSHIRT, VINCE STAPLES, REMY BANKS 6 p.m. May 1 at Mavericks at The Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 356-1110, $30.

WILCO, ROYAL THUNDER 7 p.m. May 1 at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 209-0367, $36-$46.

HOLYDRUG COUPLE, BURNT HAIR 8 p.m. May 1 at rain dogs, 1045 Park St., Riverside, 379-4969, $7.

O-TOWN 7 p.m. May 1, Underbelly, $20 advance; $25 door.

SKYTRAIN, TOM BENNETT BAND, EMMA MOSELEY BAND, 100 WATT VIPERS 8 p.m. May 1, Freebird Live, $8.

KNOX HAMILTON, THE DOG APOLLO 8 p.m. May 1, Jack Rabbits, $10.

WEEKEND ATLAS, LANEY JONES & THE SPIRITS, BREAD & CIRCUS 8 p.m. May 1, Burro Bar. DARREL RAE 8:30 p.m. May 1, Latitude 360.

SIDEWALK 65 10 p.m. May 1 & 2, Ragtime Tavern.

HOME GROWN 10 p.m. May 1 & 2 at The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611.

Riverside Arts Market: FSCJ DANCEWORKS, LAUREN FINCHAM, MIKE PEARSON, SPIRAL BOUND, LaVILLA SOA DANCE 10:30 a.m. May 2 at 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449.

Gamble Rogers Music Festival: JIM STAFFORD, STEEL WHEELS, HARPETH RISING, CHRIS HENRY & HARDCORE GRASS, THE CURRYS, WALTER PARKS, LEE HUNTER May 2 & 3, St. Augustine Amphitheatre, $15-$35, staugamphitheatre.com.

IRATION, STICK FIGURE, HOURS EASTLY 6 p.m. May 2, Mavericks, $23-$65.

ANOTHER WAY OF LIFE, THE WAR WITHIN 8 p.m. May 2, Freebird Live, $8.

MEN WITHOUT HATS, FIFIELD, FINBAR 8 p.m. May 2, Jack Rabbits, $15.

THE DRUIDS 9:30 p.m. May 2 at Your Place Bar & Grille, 13245 Atlantic Blvd., Intracoastal, 221-9994.

Roscolusa Songwriters Festival: APPLEGATE NANCE, CHRISTINE JAMRA, WHITNEY DUNCAN, CASEY BLACK, KIM PAIGE, RICK FERRELL, JESEE RICE, CASEE ALLEN 5 p.m. May 2 at Nocatee Town Center, 245 Nocatee Center Way, Ponte Vedra, $10, roscolusa.com.

TOOTS LORRAINE, BAY STREET 10 p.m. May 2 at Mojo Kitchen, 1500 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 247-6636, $15.

BIG BROTHER, STRONG GUYS 8 p.m. May 3, Shantytown Pub. CREEPOID, BOYSIN, DETACHED 8 p.m. May 4, Burro Bar. HOZIER, LOW ROAR 8 p.m. May 5 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

NEUTRAL MILK HOTEL May 7, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BRAND NEW, MANCHESTER ORCHESTRA, KEVIN DEVINE May 7, St. Augustine Amphitheatre UNUR, FROE CHAR, CELLULE 34, BURNT HAIR May 7, rain dogs WALTER PARKS May 7, Mudville Music Room COUGHIN’, DENIED ’TIL DEATH, MY FIRST CIRCUS May 7, Underbelly JOSE FELICIANO May 8, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ORDER OF THE OWL, THROATPUNCH, HOLLOW LEG, VICES, SHADOW HUNTER May 8, Burro Bar RUFFIANS May 8, Freebird Live STEEL PANTHER, LIKE A STORM May 8, P.V. Concert Hall GHOST OF THE BLUES May 8, The Florida Theatre Punko De Mayo: THE HAPPY FACED MISTAKES, PRIDELESS, STATUS FAUX, SNORE, MINOR INFLUENCE, ABANDON THE MIDWEST, A SELFLESS LOT, TWIZTED PSYCHO, SAPCO, BACKWATER BIBLE SALESMEN May 8 & 9, Across the Street ZZ TOP, JEFF BECK May 9, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JENNY LEWIS, OLIVIA JEAN May 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LISA LOEB, FLAGSHIP ROMANCE May 10, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MAT KEARNEY, JUDAH & THE LION May 11, P.V. Concert Hall BUILT TO SPILL, WOODEN INDIAN BURIAL GROUND, CLARKE & The HIMSELFS, MEMPHIBIANS May 12, Jack Rabbits JASON ISBELL, CRAIG FINN May 12, The Florida Theatre CHUNK! NO, CAPTAIN CHUNK! May 12, 1904 Music Hall CHILD BITE May 12, Burro Bar STRUNG OUT, RED CITY RADIO, LA ARMADA, FLAG ON FIRE May 13, Freebird Live NATURAL CHILD May 13, Shanghai Nobby’s JOHN MAYALL, MICHAEL JORDAN May 13, P.V. Concert Hall THE MAINE, REAL FRIENDS, KNUCKLEPUCK, THE TECHNICOLORS May 14, Freebird Live RODNEY CARRINGTON May 14, Times-Union Center PIERCE PETTIS May 14, Café Eleven J RODDY WALSTON & THE BUSINESS May 14, Jack Rabbits CHELSEA GRIN, THE WORD ALIVE, LIKE MOTHS TO FLAMES, SKYLAR May 14, Underbelly NEEDTOBREATHE, BEN RECTOR, COLONY HOUSE, DREW HOLCOMB & the NEIGHBORS May 14, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ED KOWALCZYK May 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MERCHANDISE, MEMPHIBIANS May 15, Burro Bar STANLEY JORDAN May 15, Ritz Theatre JOHN FOGERTY May 15, St. Augustine Amphitheatre FELIX & ACE May 15, Freebird Live OLD CROW MEDICINE SHOW, DEVIL MAKES THREE May 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre

Starry Nights: THE BEACH BOYS, JACKSONVILLE SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA May 16, Metro Park CAITLIN MAHONEY, JESSE MONTOYA May 16, Burro Bar IGGY AZALEA May 18, Veterans Memorial Arena DEVON ALLMAN May 20, Mojo Kitchen BOB DYLAN TRIBUTE May 20, Underbelly MELODIME, JD EICHER & the GOOD NIGHTS May 20, Burro Bar STEVE EARLE & the DUKES, THE MASTERSONS May 21, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall Jax Jazz Fest: SOUL REBELS, TITO PUENTE JR. ORCHESTRA, FELIX PEIKLI & the ROYAL FLUSH QUINTET, ROMAN STREET, KELLYLEE EVANS, SPYRO GYRA, MACEO PARKER, POSTMODERN JUKEBOX, JAZZ ATTACK (Peter White, Richard Elliot, Euge Groove), MICHAEL FRANKS, JACKSONVILLE SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA, PEABO BRYSON, ANDY SNITZER, IGNACIO BERROA, NOEL FREIDLINE QUINTET, LISA McCLENDON, ELISHA PARRIS, LINDA COLE & JOSH BOWLUS, ERIC CARTER, JOHN LUMPKIN TRIO May 21-24, Downtown Florida Folk Festival Kickoff: DEL SUGGS May 21, Mudville Music Room CHRIS THOMAS KING May 21, Mojo Kitchen BIANCO DEL RIO May 21, Times-Union Center JAZZ FEST AFTER DARK May 22-24, Downtown Jacksonville TODD RUNDGREN May 22 & 24, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall Palatka Blue Crab Fest: JEFF COFFEY, AMY DALLEY, HIGHWAY to HELL (AC/DC tribute) May 22-25, Palatka FALL TO JUNE May 23, Beach Blvd Concert Hall WILLIAM CONTROL May 23, Freebird Live BOSTON May 24, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MIKE SHACKELFORD May 24, Bull Park, Atlantic Beach KINGSLAND ROAD May 24, Jack Rabbits Rock on the River: AWOLNATION, PANIC! AT THE DISCO, ROBERT DELONG, VINYL THEATRE, PALM TREES & POWER LINES, EVERSAY May 25, Jacksonville Landing MELT BANANA May 27, Jack Rabbits FRICTION FARM, CHARLIE ROBERTSON May 28, Mudville Music Room VEIL OF MAYA, REVOCATION, OCEANO, GIFT GIVER, ENTHEOS May 28, Underbelly DEAD WINTER CARPENTERS May 29, Mojo Kitchen MIKE SHACKELFORD May 29, Mudville Music Room LAUREL LEE & the ESCAPEES, BARNYARD STOMPERS May 30, Planet Sarbez!

PSYCHEDELIC FURS May 31, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BRIT FLOYD (Pink Floyd tribute) June 2, The Florida Theatre GBH, TOTAL CHAOS, FFN June 3, Jack Rabbits RUSTY SHINE June 6, The Roadhouse KIM WATERS June 6, Ritz Theatre THE BUSINESS June 6, Burro Bar ALLEN STONE, BRYNN ELLIOT June 7, Colonial Quarter ANCIENT RIVER June 10, Burro Bar The GIPSY KINGS, NICOLAS REYES, TONINO BALIARDO June 11, The Florida Theatre SETH WALKER June 11, Mudville Music Room TYCHO June 11, Freebird Live BOOGIE FREAKS June 12 & 13, The Roadhouse SUPERHEAVEN, DIAMOND YOUTH, ROZWELL KID June 12, Burro Bar HYSTERIA (Def Leppard tribute) June 12, Freebird Live SWAMP RADIOJune 12, The Florida Theatre DAVID CROSBY June 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall Florida Country Superfest: ZAC BROWN BAND, KEITH URBAN, BRANTLEY GILBERT, COLE SWINDELL, TYLER FARR, DAVID NAIL, COLT FORD, DANIELLE BRADBERY, SWON BROTHERS June 13 & 14, EverBank Field

APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC DONOVAN FRANKENREITER Aug. 25, Freebird Live MIKE SHACKELFORD Aug. 30, Bull Park, Atlantic Beach RICK SPRINGFIELD, LOVERBOY, THE ROMANTICS Aug. 30, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ALICE COOPER Sept. 1, The Florida Theatre NICKELBACK Sept. 1, Veterans Memorial Arena DELBERT McCLINTON Sept. 25, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BRITTANY SHANE Sept. 25, Mudville Music Room WHOOPI GOLDBERG Sept. 26, The Florida Theatre BILL ENGVALL Oct. 2, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts AMELIA ISLAND JAZZ FEST Oct. 8-15, Fernandina Beach THE VIBRATORS Oct. 11, Jack Rabbits SUZANNE VEGA Oct. 16, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall DEF LEPPARD, FOREIGNER, NIGHT RANGER Oct. 17, Veterans Memorial Arena THE CHARLIE DANIELS BAND Oct. 22, The Florida Theatre TAB BENOIT Oct. 22, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MARK KNOPFLER Oct. 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre PAUL REISER Nov. 7, The Florida Theatre AMERICA Nov. 13, Thrasher-Horne Center RONNIE MILSAP Nov. 29, The Florida Theatre BRIAN REGAN Dec. 13, The Florida Theatre

WHETHERMAN holds a CD release party for his sixth album, Seeds of Harvest, April 30 at Lillie’s Coffee Bar in Neptune Beach.

LIVE MUSIC CLUBS CHARLI XCX June 15, Freebird Live Happy Together Tour: THE TURTLES, FLO & EDDIE, THE ASSOCIATION, MARK LINDSAY, THE GRASSROOTS, THE COWSILLS, THE BUCKINGHAMS June 16, Florida Theatre BRONCHO, LE ORCHID June 17, Jack Rabbits LUKE WARD, BABY BEE, THE STATES June 20, Jack Rabbits THE DREAMING, DIE SO FLUID, DANCING WITH GHOSTS, KILO KAHN, INNER DEMONS June 21, 1904 Music Hall SURFER BLOOD June 25, Jack Rabbits OTTMAR LIEBERT & LUNA NEGRA June 26, P.V. Concert Hall PIERCE PETTIS June 26, Mudville Music Room NATURAL INSTINCTS June 26 & 27, The Roadhouse STYX June 26, The Florida Theatre FOR KING & COUNTRY June 27, Christ Church Southside MICHAEL RENO HARRELL June 27, Mudville Music Room MIKE SHACKELFORD Acoustic Night June 28, Bull Park, Atlantic Beach SAY ANYTHING, MODERN BASEBALL, CYMBALS EAT GUITARS, HARD GIRLS July 1, Underbelly DON McLEAN July 2, The Florida Theatre CHILLY RHINO July 3 & 4, The Roadhouse

30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2015

Warped Tour: ALIVE LIKE ME, AS IT IS, BABY BABY, ARGENT, BEAUTIFUL BODIES, BEING as an OCEAN, BLACK BOOTS, BLACK VEIL BRIDES, BLESSTHEFALL, BORN CAGES, KOO KOO KANGA ROO, BOYMEETSWORLD, CANDY HEARTS, ESCAPE the FATE, FAMILY FORCE 5, FIT for a KING, HANDGUNS, HANDS LIKE HOUSES, I KILLED the PROM QUEEN, KOSHA DILLZ, LE CASTLE VANIA, LEE COREY OSWALD, M4SONIC, MATCHBOOK ROMANCE, NECK DEEP, NIGHT NIGHT RIOTS, PALISADES, SPLITBREED, The RELAPSE SYMPHONY, TRANSIT, The WONDER YEARS, TROPHY EYES, WHILE SHE SLEEPS, YOUTH in REVOLT July 6, Morocco Shrine Auditorium R5: SOME TIME LAST NIGHT, JACOB WHITESIDES, RYLAND July 7, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts JAHMEN, SIGNAL FIRE July 8, Freebird Live STEVE FORBERT TRIO July 10, Mudville Music Room BARENAKED LADIES, VIOLENT FEMMES, COLIN HAY July 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre BETWEEN THE BURIED & ME, ANIMALS AS LEADERS, THE CONTORTIONISTS July 11, Freebird Live SHANIA TWAIN July 15, Veterans Memorial Arena AMERICAN IDOL LIVE July 15, The Florida Theatre CHROME HEART July 17 & 18, The Roadhouse SLIGHTLY STOOPID, DIRTY HEADS, STICK FIGURE July 23, St. Augustine Amphitheatre PURE PRAIRIE LEAGUE, FIREFALL, ATLANTA RHYTHM SECTION July 25, The Florida Theatre UNKNOWN HINSON July 25, Jack Rabbits ROB THOMAS, PLAIN WHITE T’S July 25, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MIKE SHACKELFORD July 26, Bull Park, Atlantic Beach JAKE MILLER, JASMINE, ALEX ANGELO July 26, Freebird Live WHITESNAKE July 31, The Florida Theatre MY MORNING JACKET, MINI MANSIONS Aug. 1, St. Augustine Amphitheatre COUNTING CROWS, CITIZEN COPE Aug. 2, St. Augustine Amphitheatre BHAGAVAN DAS Aug. 7-9, Karpeles Museum CHRISTINA PERRI, COLBIE CAILLAT, RACHEL PLATTEN Aug. 11, The Florida Theatre THE ROCKY HORROR SHOW Aug. 14 & 15, 21 & 22, 1904 Music Hall SUBLIME WITH ROME, REBELUTION, PEPPER, MICKEY AVALON Aug. 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre “WEIRD AL” YANKOVIC Aug. 16, The Florida Theatre LYLE LOVETT & HIS LARGE BAND Aug. 20, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts TIM McGRAW, BILLY CURINGTON, CHASE BRYANT Aug. 20, Veterans Memorial Arena

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

DAVID’S Restaurant & Lounge, 802 Ash St., 310-6049 John Springer every Tue.-Wed. Aaron Bing 6 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. GREEN TURTLE TAVERN, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Buck Smith every Thur. Yancy Clegg every Sun. Vinyl Record Nite every Tue. SLIDERS, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652 Live music every Wed.-Sun. SURF RESTAURANT, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Boo Radley May 5

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores 9 p.m. every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. every Tue. & Thur. Indie dance 9 p.m. every Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance at 9 p.m. every Fri. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns, 388-0200 Live music every Thur.-Sat.

THE BEACHES

(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)

BILLY’S BOATHOUSE, 2321 Beach Blvd., 241-9771 The Conch Fritters May 3. Live music every Wed.-Sun. BRASS ANCHOR PUB, 2292 Mayport Rd., Ste. 35, Atlantic Beach, 249-0301 Joe Oliff April 29 CASA MARINA HOTEL, 691 First St. N., 270-0025 Ryan Crary, Johnny Flood April 30 CRUISERS GRILL, 319 23rd Ave. S., 270-0356 Matt Bednarsky 7 p.m. May 1 CULHANE’S, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 DJ Hal every Sat. ESPETO BRAZILIAN Steakhouse, 1396 Beach Blvd., 388-4884 Steve & Carlos 6 p.m. April 30 FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 Darren Corlew May 3. Red Beard & Stinky E every Thur.

FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 Marchfourth Marching Band 8 p.m. April 30. Skytrain, Tom Bennett Band, Emma Moseley Band, 100 Watt Vipers 8 p.m. May 1.

Another Way of Life, The War Within 8 p.m. May 2. Ruffians 9 p.m. May 8 HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815 Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. Dan Evans, Spade McQuade 6 p.m. every Sun. Back From the Brink 9 p.m. every Mon. LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-2922 Whetherman CD Release Party 8 p.m. April 30.

Punch Buggies May 1. Jazz Reprobates May 2 LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Herd of Watts 10 p.m. May 1 & 2. Dirty Pete Wed. Split Tone Thur.

Ryan Crary, Johnny Flood Sun. Be Easy Mon. Ryan Campbell Tue. Live music nightly MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., 246-1500 Live music every Wed.-Sat. MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573 Neil Dixon every Tue. Gypsies Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford & Steve Shanholtzer every Thur.

MOJO KITCHEN, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636 Toots Lorraine & the Traffic, Bay Street 10 p.m. May 2 NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 Maryann Hawkins April 30. Backtrack 51 May 1. Sidetrack May 2. Live music every Fri. & Sat. OCEAN 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060 Taylor Roberts 7 p.m. April 29 & 30 RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 Kurt Lanham 7 p.m. April 29. T. Martin Blues Band April 30. Sidewalk 65 10 p.m. May 1 & 2 ROYAL PALM VILLAGE WINE & TAPAS, 296 Royal Palm Dr., Atlantic Beach, 372-0052 This Frontier Needs Heroes 7 p.m. April 30

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC SLIDERS SEAFOOD GRILLE, 218 First St., Neptune Beach, 246-0881 Live music 6 p.m. every Thur., 6:30 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. WIPEOUTS GRILL, 1589 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 247-4508 Jude Romano May 1. Live music 10 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. WORLD OF BEER, 311 N. Third St., 372-9698 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

Adult contemporary music fave HOZIER (pictured) performs with LOW ROAR May 5 at The Florida Theatre, Downtown Jacksonville.

DOWNTOWN

1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. Copeland 7 p.m. April 29. Taylor Caniff 7 p.m. April 30. DJ Kermit May 2 BURRO BAR, 100 E. Adams St. Malakai 8 p.m. April 30.

Weekend Atlas, Laney Jones & the Spirits, Bread & Circus May 1. Creepoid, Boysin, Detached May 4. Order of the Owl, Throatpunch, Hollow Leg, Vices, Shadow Hunter May 8 DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 BlackJack every Wed. DJ Brandon every Thur. DJs spin dance music every Fri. DJ NickFresh every Sat. DJ Randall 9 p.m. every Mon. DJ Hollywood every Tue. FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247 Spade McQuade 6 p.m. April 29. Live music every Wed.Sun. JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 DJ Pristean May 1. Rick Arcusa May 2. Fernando Corona, Bachata Heightz, Jorge Ruiz, Jex-L & Yarel May 3 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay, 355-5099 DJ Roy Luis every Wed. DJ Vinn every Thur. DJ 007 every Fri. Bay Street every Sat. MAVERICKS, Jax Landing, 356-1110 Shaun Frank 6 p.m.

April 29. Earl Sweatshirt, Vince Staples, Remy Banks 6 p.m.

May 1. Iration, Stick Figure, Hours Eastly 6 p.m. May 2. Joe Buck, DJ Justin every Thur.-Sat. UNDERBELLY, 113 E. Bay St., 699-8186 Ishi, Holiday Mountain April 29. Tigers Jaw, Lemuria, Somos April 30.

O-Town May 1. Firewater Tent Revival May 3. Live music most weekends

FLEMING ISLAND

WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Smooth McFlea May 1 & 2. Live music every Fri. & Sat. DJ Throwback 8 p.m. every Thur. Deck music every Fri., Sat. & Sun.

INTRACOASTAL WEST

BULL TAVERN, 7217 Atlantic Blvd., 724-2337 Joe Oliff & Jaxx or Better May 2 CLIFF’S Bar & Grill, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 Live music every Fri. & Sat. JERRY’S Sports Grille, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Lucky Stiff May 1. Midlife Crisis May 2. Kim Reteguiz & Black Cat Bones May 3 YOUR PLACE, 13245 Atlantic, 221-9994 RadioLove April 30. The Druids 9:30 p.m. May 2

MANDARIN, JULINGTON

DAVE’S MUSIC BAR & GRILL, 9965 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 48, 575-4935 Bonnie & Clyde every Tue. Open jam every Wed. House Band every Thur.

HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-3040 Open mic: Synergy 8 p.m. every Wed.

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

CLUB RETRO, 1241 Blanding Blvd., 579-4731 ’70s & ’80s dance 8 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. DJ Capone every Wed. THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells, 272-5959 John Michael plays piano every Tue.-Sat. PREVATT’S SPORTS BAR, 2620 Blanding Blvd., 282-1564 Live music every Sat. DJ Tammy 9 p.m. every Wed. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Home Grown 10 p.m. May 1 & 2. Boogie Freaks 10 p.m. every

Wed. DJ Big Mike 10 p.m. every Thur. Open mic auditions every Mon.

PONTE VEDRA

PUSSER’S GRILLE, 816 A1A, 280-7766 Samuel Sanders 6 p.m. April 29 & May 6. Billy Buchanan 6-10 p.m. April 30 TABLE 1, 330 A1A N., 280-5515 Billy Bowers 6 p.m. April 29. Gary Starling April 30. Robbie Litt May 1. Cody Nix May 2

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

ACROSS THE STREET, 948 Edgewood Ave. S., 683-4182 MindJacked, A New Decree, Primitive Hard Drive 8 p.m.

May 2. Punko De Mayo: The Happy Faced Mistakes, Prideless, Status Faux, Snore, Minor Influence, Abandon The Midwest, A Selfless Lot, Twizted Psycho, Sapco, Backwater Bible Salesmen May 8 & 9. Backwater Bible Salesmen open mic 8 p.m. every Mon. DJ Rafiki every Tue. MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., 388-7807 Paradime, Fifield, The Porch Cocks, Pops the Pilgrim 8 p.m. May 1. War of Ages, Phineas, Death of an Era, Neverender, Personalities, This Present Darkness May 2 RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969 Holydrug Couple, Burnt Hair 8 p.m. May 1. Unur, Froe Char, Cellule 34 8 p.m. on May 7 RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 FSCJ Danceworks, Lauren Fincham, Mike Pearson, Spiral Bound, LaVilla SOA Dance starting 10:30 a.m. May 2

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

INDOCHINE, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 503-7013 Dance Radio Underground, Sugar & Cream, Black Hoodie, Bass Therapy Sessions, Allan GIz-Roc Oteyza, TrapNasty, Cry Havoc, every Sat. JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Eddie Spaghetti (Supersuckers), Dagger Beach 8 p.m. April 29.

Knox Hamilton, The Dog Apollo May 1. Men Without Hats, Fifield, Finbar May 2. Beauregard & the Down Right May 3 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Gamblefest Kickoff: Larry Mangum, Bob Paterson, Jim Carrick, Charley Simmons 7:30 p.m. April 30. Danny Schmidt May 5. Walter Parks 7:30 p.m. May 7 THE PARLOUR, 2000 San Marco Blvd., 396-4455 Live music every Thur.-Sat.

SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS

BAHAMA BREEZE, 10205 River Coast Dr., 646-1031 Tropico Steel Drums April 29 & 30 CORNER BISTRO, 9823 Tapestry Park Cir., 619-1931 Matt Hall every Wed.-Sat. Steve Wheeler every Fri.

ST. AUGUSTINE

BARLEY REPUBLIC, 48 Spanish St., 547-2023 Live local music every Thur.-Sun. THE CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 The Committee May 1. Gary Douglas Campbell 2 p.m., The Committee 7 p.m. May 2. Vinny Jacobs 2 p.m. May 3 DOS COFFEE & WINE, 300 San Marco Ave., 342-2421 Jazz every Sun. HARRY’S, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765 Billy Bowers 6 p.m. May 6. Local live music nightly MILL TOP TAVERN, 19 St. George St., 829-2329 Bret Blackshear 9 p.m. April 29. Aaron Esposito April 30 PAULA’S BEACHSIDE GRILL, 6896 A1A S., Crescent Beach, 471-3463 Denny Blue holds open mic jam 6-9 p.m.

April 29 TRADEWINDS LOUNGE, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Matanzas May 1 & 2. Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat.

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LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC LATITUDE 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 DJ DFunk 7 p.m., Be Easy 7:30 p.m. April 30. Darrel Rae 8:30 p.m. May 1.

RadioLove May 3 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 997-1955 Live music every Wed.-Sat. MY PLACE BAR & GRILL, 9550 Baymeadows Rd., 737-5299 RadioLove May 1. Fat Cactus every Mon. Live music 9 p.m. every night WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., 634-7208 X Hale 9 p.m. April 29. Live music every Wed.-Sun. WILD WING CAFÉ, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Chris Brinkley April 29. Open mic April 30. Shotgun Redd May 1. Live music every Fri. & Sat. WORLD OF BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 551-5929 Angie, DiCarlo Thompson April 30. Live music every Fri. & Sat.

Grammy Awardnominated UK singer-songwriter JOAN ARMATRADING (pictured) performs with BOBBY LEE ROGERS April 30 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

SHANTYTOWN, 22 W. Sixth St., 798-8222 Company of Ghosts 8 p.m. April 29. Big Brother, Strong Guys 8 p.m. May 3 THREE LAYERS COFFEEHOUSE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 RadioLove at 5 p.m. on May 1. Mama Blue 6 p.m. May 5. Open mic held every Thur.

THE KNIFE

MUSICAL CREATURES BACK IN THE EARLY 1990S, I immersed myself in girlie alternative rock. This was, of course, coupled with an investigation of the grunge movement, as I was in a grunge band myself. One that played on the first “side stage” at the second annual Lollapalooza. That year, 1992, featured Red Hot Chili Peppers, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden and Ministry, among others. The band I was in, Black Cats & Bottle Rockets, played the side stage with Basehead, Genitorturers and The Jim Rose Sideshow.

Though I was flying the Flannel Flag, I was also pursuing a softer course, digging on the music of The Sundays, Frente!, Belly, Blake Babies, The Darling Buds and Lush (who, ironically, also appeared at Lollapalooza the year we played). While touring with BC&BR, the lead singer and I would often discuss the swoon-inducing vocals of Harriet Wheeler or the idea that Frente! made New Order’s “Bizarre Love Triangle” worth listening to.

So it is with some nostalgia that I listened to Complicated Animal’s new release In This Game. The Jacksonville duo, comprising singer/ songwriter Monica da Silva and her partner Chad Alger, had released an album together under da Silva’s name titled Brasilissima, but this is Complicated Animals’ debut.

The album-opener, “Roadmap,” could easily have been a Frente! song. Da Silva’s wonderfully breathy vocals so closely resemble those of frontwoman Angela Hart it’s eerie. The singer’s Brazilian accent slips in at times, giving “Roadmap” an exotic twist, and despite what sounds like programmed drums, the songs move nicely. It’s the perfect driving song, as it were.

Alger’s picked Hofner bass helps buoy the reverby guitars and pushes the song along nicely. However, about two minutes into the song, there’s the odd addition of real drums, and the fill that announces their entry is so off-time as to be off-putting. It’s forgivable but, damn, I wish that speedbump weren’t obstructing an otherwise lovely drive.

That Hofner bass is also present in “O Que Passou,” along with a gorgeous finger-picked nylon-string guitar line and a tasteful trumpet 32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2015

THE KNIFE

melody. It all supports da Silva’s singing, in Portuguese this time. There’s a cello in there, too, and some luxuriant background vocals. This is catchy, catchy stuff. So much so, that I am almost loath to like it.

“Phoenix” gets a little too modern-pop for my taste. The synths and programmed drums pull me out of the otherwise nice South American groove. Lyrically, it’s a sweet little story about redemption and survival. Totally listenable in the context of the album, but as a stand-alone, not Complicated Animals’ best.

The album’s two best do follow, however.

“Bees Take to Honey” is another Frente!-esque sing-along, featuring a toy piano, that nicely finger-picked nylon-string guitar and honeysweet vocals. It’s a swirling, lazy ditty that once again has me kicking myself for liking it. “Drive Around in Cars” benefits from real brushes on a real snare drum. Melancholy in tone, “Drive” really shows off da Silva’s command of melody.

This one is reminiscent, in the best way, of Norah Jones’ “Out on the Road.”

Closing the album is “Sempre Aqui,” an authentic Brazilian ballad featuring da Silva and Alger in unison vocals. It’s a gorgeous duet, sparse and open, a pleasant soft landing for the six-song collection. Yeah, I liked this one, too, dammit.

John E. Citrone theknife@folioweekly.com

In This Game is available online at complicatedanimals.com.

Emin Sahin and Marvin Kizgin, of Oceana Diner on Beach Boulevard in the Intracoastal West area, present tasty eggs Benedict and a waffle fiesta.

Photo by Dennis Ho

DINING DIRECTORY AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

29 SOUTH EATS, 29 S. Third St., 277-7919, 29south restaurant.com. F In historic downtown, Chef Scotty Schwartz serves traditional regional cuisine with a modern twist. $$ L Tue.-Sat.; D Mon.-Sat.; R Sun. BARBERITOS, 1519 Sadler Rd., 277-2505. 463867 S.R. 200, Ste. 5, Yulee, 321-2240, barberitos.com. F Southwestern fare; burritos, tacos, quesadillas, salsa. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality, upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB K L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com.

F Family-owned spot in historic building. Veggie burgers, seafood, made-from-scratch desserts. Dine in or on oakshaded patio. Karibrew Pub next door. $$ FB K TO R, Sun.; L D Daily CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY CO., 1014 Atlantic Ave., 491-4663, chezlezanbakery.com. Fresh European-style breads, pastries: croissants, muffins, cakes, pies. $ TO B R L Daily CIAO ITALIAN BISTRO, 302 Centre St., 206-4311, ciao bistro-luca.com. Owners Luka and Kim Misciasci offer fine dining: veal piccata, rigatoni Bolognese, antipasto.

Specialties: chicken Ciao, homemade meat lasagna. $ L Fri., Sat.; D Nightly DAVID’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, 802 Ash St., 310-6049, ameliaislanddavids.com. Historic district fine dining.

Fresh seafood, prime aged meats, rack of lamb. $$$$ FB D Wed.-Mon. DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 474313 E. S.R. 200, 491-3469.

450077 S.R. 200, Callahan, 879-0993. BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA.

ELIZABETH POINTE LODGE, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. F BOJ winner. Award-winning B&B. Seaside dining, inside or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily.

Homestyle soups, sandwiches, desserts. $$$ BW B L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianes cafe.com. F In renovated 1887 shotgun house. Jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, vegan/vegetarian items. Dine in or on porch. $$ FB K B L D Daily LULU’S AT THOMPSON HOUSE, 11 S. 7th St., 432-8394, lulusamelia.com. F Po’boys, salads, local seafood, local shrimp. Reservations. $$$ BW K TO R Sun.; L D Tue.-Sat. MARCHÉ BURETTE, 6800 First Coast Hwy., 491-4834, omnihotels.com. Old-fashioned gourmet food market and deli, in the Spa & Shops, Omni Amelia Island Plantation.

Continental breakfast; lunch features flatbreads. $$$ BW K TO L D Daily MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moon riverpizza.net. F BOJ winner. Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, by the pie or the slice. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE MUSTARD SEED CAFÉ, 833 TJ Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juice, herbal tea. $$ TO B L Mon.-Sat. THE PECAN ROLL BAKERY, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815, thepecanrollbakery.com. F The bakery, near the historic district, offers sweet and savory pastries, cookies, cakes,

bagels and breads, all made from scratch. $ K TO B L Wed.-Sun. THE PIG BAR-B-Q, 450102 S.R. 200, Callahan, 879-0101, thepigbarbq.com. Bite Club. SEE SOUTHSIDE. PLAE, 80 Amelia Village Cir., 277-2132, plaefl.net. Bite Club. Bistro-style venue serves whole fried fish, duck breast.

Outside. $$$ FB L Tue.-Sat.; D Nightly THE SALTY PELICAN BAR & GRILL, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F BOJ winner.

2nd-story outdoor bar. Owners T.J. and Al offer local seafood, Mayport shrimp, fish tacos, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F Oceanfront; handmade crab cakes, fresh seafood, fried pickles. Outdoor dining, open-air 2nd floor, balcony. $$ FB K L D Daily TASTY’S FRESH BURGERS & FRIES, 710 Centre St., 321-0409, tastysamelia.com. Historic district. Freshest meats, hand-cut fries, homemade sauces, hand-spun shakes. $ BW K L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310.

F BOJ winner. In an old gas station; blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L Mon.-Sat. THE VERANDAH, 6800 First Coast Hwy., 321-5050, omni hotels.com. Extensive menu of fresh local seafood and steaks; signature entrée is Fernandina shrimp. Many herbs and spices are from onsite garden. $$$ FB K D Nightly

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 9119 Merrill Rd., 745-9300. BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1301 Monument, 724-5802. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

FLORIDA CREAMERY, 3566 St. Johns Ave., 619-5386.

Premium ice cream, waffle cones, milkshakes, sundaes and Nathan’s grilled hot dogs, served in a Florida-centric décor.

Low-fat and sugar-free choices. $ K TO L D Daily THE FOX RESTAURANT, 3580 St. Johns Ave., 387-2669.

F Owners Ian & Mary Chase offer fresh diner fare: burgers, meatloaf, fried green tomatoes, desserts. Breakfast all day.

Local landmark for 50+ years. $$ BW K L D Daily HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned and operated for 20+ years, the American pub serves 1/2-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200. F To get listed, call your account manager or Sam Taylor at 904.260.9770 ext. 111 or staylor@folioweekly.com.

DINING DIRECTORY KEY

Average Entrée Cost $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted free FW Bite Club tasting. Join at fwbiteclub.com.

2014 Best of Jax winner

F = FW distribution spot

Bite Club. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOJO NO. 4 URBAN BBQ & WHISKEY BAR, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670. F BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PINEGROVE MARKET & DELI, 1511 Pine Grove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F BOJ winner. 40+ years. Burgers, Cuban sandwiches, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher cuts USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. $ BW TO B L D Mon.-Sat. RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurant orsay.com. BOJ winner. French/Southern bistro; emphasis on locally grown organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops. Snail of Approval. $$$ FB K R, Sun.; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simply saras.net. F Down-home fare, from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Mon.-Sat., B Sat.

BAYMEADOWS

AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 7825 Baymeadows Way, 733-4040. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips, Ste. 105, 731-4300. F SEE BEACHES. BROADWAY RISTORANTE & PIZZERIA, 10920 Baymeadows Rd. E., 519-8000, broadwayfl.com. F Family-owned-and-operated. Calzones, wings, brick-ovenbaked pizza, subs. $$ BW K TO L D Daily INDIA’S RESTAURANT, 9802 Baymeadows, Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajax.com. F BOJ winner. Authentic cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetable dishes, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L Mon.-Sat.; D Nightly LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., 737-7740.

8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK. NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791. SEE MANDARIN. SAUSAGE PARADISE DELI & BAKERY, 8602 Baymeadows Rd., 571-9817, spjax.com. F New spot has a variety of European sausages, homestyle European dinners, smoked barbecue, stuffed cheeseburgers. $$ TO L D Mon.-Sat. SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE, 8133 Point Meadows Dr., 519-0509. F BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. THE WELL WATERING HOLE, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com. New bistro has local craft beers, wines by the glass or bottle, champagne cocktails.

Meatloaf sandwiches, pulled Peruvian chicken, homestyle vegan black bean burgers. $$ BW K TO D Tue.-Sat. WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 135, 634-7208, whiskeyjax.com. New gastropub has craft beers, burgers, handhelds, tacos, whiskey. $$ FB L D Sat. & Sun.; D Daily.

ZESTY INDIA, 8358 Point Meadows Dr., 329-3676, zesty india.com. Asian/European; tandoori lamb chops, rosemary tikka. Vegetarian cooked separately. $ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun.

BEACHES

(Locations are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002, alspizza.com. F New York-style, gourmet pizzas, baked dishes. All-day happy hour Mon.-Thur. $ FB K TO L D Daily ANGIE’S SUBS, 1436 Beach Blvd., 246-2519. ANGIE’S

APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33

DINING DIRECTORY GROM, 204 Third Ave. S., 246-7823. F BOJ winner. Subs made with fresh ingredients for more than 25 years. One word: Peruvian. Huge salads, blue-ribbon iced tea. $ BW TO L D Daily BEACHSIDE SEAFOOD RESTAURANT & MARKET, 120 Third St. S., 444-8862, beachsideseafood.info. Full fresh seafood market serves seafood baskets, fish tacos, daily fish specials, Philly cheesesteaks. Dine indoors or on secondfloor open-air deck. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201. F BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. BUDDHA THAI BISTRO, 301 10th Ave. N., 712-4444, buddhathaibistro.com. Proprietors are from Thailand; every dish is made with fresh ingredients. $$ FB TO L D Daily CANTINA MAYA SPORTS BAR & GRILLE, 1021 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-3227. F Popular spot serves margaritas, Latin food, burgers. Sports on TVs. $$ FB K L D Tue.-Sun. CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595, culhanesirishpub.com. F Bite Club.

Upscale pub owned and run by County Limerick sisters.

Shepherd’s pie, corned beef; gastropub fare. $$ FB K R Sat. & Sun.; L Fri.-Sun.; D Tue.-Sun. ESPETO BRAZILIAN STEAKHOUSE, 1396 Beach Blvd., 388-4884, espetosteakhouse.com. Just relocated, serving beef, pork, lamb, chicken, sausage; full menu, bar fare, craft cocktails, Brazilian beers. $$ FB D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001. F BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & TEQUILA BAR, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 F Latin American, Southwest tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana sandwiches.

100+ tequilas. $ FB L D Daily HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815, harmoniousmonks.net. F SEE MANDARIN. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., N.B., 249-2922,

snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily happy hour. $$ FB L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 1018 Third St. N., 372-4456, saltlifefoodshack.com. BOJ winner. Specialty items: signature tuna poke bowl, fresh rolled sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp, in modern open-air space. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SLIDERS SEAFOOD GRILLE & OYSTER BAR, 218 First St., Neptune Beach, 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille.com.

Beach-casual. Faves: Fresh fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, ice cream sandwiches. $$ FB K L Sat. & Sun.; D Nightly SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE, 111 Beach Blvd., 482-1000, sneakerssportsgrille.com. BOJ. 20+ beers on tap, TVs, cheerleaders serving. Happy hour Mon.-Fri. $ FB K L D Daily SURFWICHES SANDWICH SHOP, 1537 Penman Rd., 241-6996, surfwiches.com. Craft sandwich shop has steaks and hoagies made to order. $ BW TO K L D Daily TACOLU BAJA MEXICANA, 1712 Beach Blvd., 249-8226, tacolu.com. BOJ winner. Fresh, Baja-style fare: fish tacos, tequila (more than 135 kinds) and mezcal. Bangin’ shrimp, carne asada, carnitas, daily fresh fish selections. Madefresh-daily guacamole. $$ FB K R Sat. & Sun.; L D Tue.-Fri.

DOWNTOWN

AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 21 W. Church St., 665-7324, akelsdeli.com. F New York-style deli offers freshly made subs (3 Wise Guys, Champ), burgers, gyros, breakfast bowls, ranchero wrap, vegetarian dishes. $ K TO B L Mon.-Fri. THE CANDY APPLE CAFÉ & COCKTAILS, 400 N. Hogan St., 353-9717. Sandwiches, entrées, salads. $$ FB K L, Mon.; L D Tue.-Sun. CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282. F Chef Sam Hamidi has been serving genuine Italian fare for 35+ years: veal, seafood, gourmet pizza. The homemade salad dressing is a specialty. $ BW K L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. CHOMP CHOMP, 106 E. Adams St., 762-4667. F Chef-

GRILL ME!

CALLI MARIE WEBB

BREW Five Points, 1024 Park St., 5 Points BIRTHPLACE: Hollywood, Florida

YEARS IN THE BIZ: 5

FAVORITE RESTAURANT: 13 Gypsies, Riverside BEST CUISINE STYLE: Indian GO-TO INGREDIENTS: Butter runs my life.

IDEAL MEAL: A cheese plate, seared rare duck, risotto, roasted Brussels sprouts and a whole bottle of wine.

WILL NOT CROSS MY LIPS: Mayo is my worst enemy.

INSIDER’S SECRET: You won’t get what you don’t ask for.

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: Jack Twachtman, duh!

CULINARY TREAT: Taco Bell, always!

INTRACOASTAL WEST

AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F SEE BEACHES.

l

l

APPLEBEE’S, 13201 Atlantic Blvd., 220-5823. SEE MANDARIN l

34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2015

FLEMING ISLAND

GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 1915 East-West Pkwy., 541-0009. F BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. F BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteys fishcamp.com. F Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar.

Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly YOUR PIE, 1545 C.R. 220, Ste. 125, 379-9771, yourpie.com.

F Owner Mike Sims’ idea: Choose from 3 doughs, 9 sauces, 7 cheeses, 40+ toppings. 5 minutes in a brick oven and ta-da: It’s your pie. Subs, sandwiches, gelato. $$ BW K TO L D Daily

l

MEZZA RESTAURANT & BAR, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573, mezzarestaurantandbar.com. F Near-the-ocean spot, 20+ years. Casual bistro fare: gourmet wood-fired pizzas, nightly specials. Dine inside or on the patio. Valet parking. $$$ FB K D Mon.-Sat. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636, mojobbq.com. F BOJ winner. Pulled pork, Carolina-style barbecue, Delta fried catfish, sides. $$ FB K TO L D Daily M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-2599, mshackburgers.com. F BOJ winner. David and Matthew Medure flip burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes. $$ BW L D Daily NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic, Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach, 372-4105, nbbistro.com. F Bite Club. Chefdriven kitchen; hand-cut steaks, fresh local seafood, tapas.

HH. $$$ FB K R Sun.; L D Daily OCEAN 60 WINE BAR, MARTINI ROOM, 60 Ocean Blvd., A.B., 247-0060, ocean60.com. BOJ winner. Continental cuisine, fresh seafood, dinner specials, seasonal menu in a formal dining room or casual Martini Room. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. POE’S TAVERN, 363 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 241-7637.

Gastropub, 50+ beers, gourmet hamburgers, ground in-house, cooked to order; hand-cut French fries, fish tacos, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ FB K L D Daily RAGTIME TAVERN & SEAFOOD GRILL, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F For 30+ years, iconic seafood place has served blackened

l

SEE SAN MARCO.

inspired street food: panko-crusted chicken, burgers, chinois tacos, bahn mi and barbecue. $ L Tue.-Sat.; D Thur.-Sat. FIONN MacCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT, The Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1547, fionnmacs.com. Casual dining with an uptown Irish atmosphere, serving fish and chips, Guinness lamb stew and black-and-tan brownies. $$ FB K L D Daily OLIO MARKET, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com. F From-scratch soups, sandwiches. Home to duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L Mon.-Fri. SWEET PETE’S, 1922 Pearl St., 376-7161. F All-natural sweet shop has candy made of all natural flavors, no artificial anything. Several kinds of honey. $ TO Daily ZODIAC BAR & GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodiacbarandgrill.com. Mediterranean cuisine and American fare in a casual spot, panini and vegetarian dishes.

Daily lunch buffet. Espressos and hookahs are available.

Happy hour Wed.-Sat. $ FB L Mon.-Fri.

l

lilliescoffeebar.com. F Locally roasted coffee, eggs, bagels, flatbreads, sandwiches, desserts. Dine indoors or out, patio and courtyard. $$ BW TO B L D Daily THE LOVING CUP HASH HOUSE, 610 Third St. S., 422-0644. This new place has locally sourced fare, locally roasted coffee, gluten-free, vegan, vegetarian, healthful and un-healthful dishes – no GMOs or hormones allowed. $ K TO B R L Tue.-Sun. MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com. F Bite Club.

BOJ winner. Hoagies, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers. Nonstop happy hour. $ FB K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1534 Third N., 853-6817. F BOJ winner.

DINING DIRECTORY DICK’S WINGS, 14286 Beach Blvd., 223-0115. F BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE ORANGE PARK. OCEANA DINER, 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 374-1915, oceanadiner.com. Traditional American diner fare served in a family atmosphere. $ K TO B L Daily TIME OUT SPORTS GRILL, 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 223-6999, timeoutsportsgrill.com. F Locally-ownedand-operated. Hand-tossed pizzas, wings, wraps. Daily drink specials, HDTVs, pool tables. Late-nite menu. $$ FB L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly

JULINGTON CREEK

DICK’S WINGS, 525 S.R. 16, Ste. 101, 825-4540. BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO.

dinner. Tropical drinks. $$ FB K TO L D Daily RESTAURANT MEDURE, 818 A1A N., 543-3797, restaurantmedure.us. Chef David Medure offers global flavors. Small plates, creative drinks, happy hour. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat.

RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE

13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies. com. BOJ winner. Authentic Mediterranean peasant cuisine updated for American tastes; tapas, blackened octopus, risotto of the day, coconut mango curry chicken. $$ BW L D Tue.-Sat. AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 245 Riverside Ave., 791-3336.

F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., 388-8384. F SEE BEACHES. APPLEBEE’S, 8635 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 201, 771-0000.

6251 103rd St., 772-9020. 843 Lane Ave. S., 378-5445.

SEE MANDARIN.

AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 12926 Gran Bay Pkwy. W., 880-2008. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F SEE BEACHES.

APPLEBEE’S, 14560 St. Augustine Rd., 262-7605, apple bees.com. Completely remodeled in the area – new look, new appetizers (half-price after 10 p.m.) Most are open until midnight or later. $$ FB K TO L D Daily ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199.

F Dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant). Greek beers. $$ BW L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. BROOKLYN PIZZA, 11406 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 288-9211. 13820 St. Augustine Rd., 880-0020. Brooklyn Special. Calzones, white pizza, homestyle lasagna. $$ BW TO L D Daily THE COFFEE BARD, 9735 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 13, 260-0810, thecoffeebard.com. New world coffeehouse has coffees, breakfast, drinks. $$ TO B L D Tue.-Sun. DICK’S WINGS, 10391 Old St. Augustine, 880-7087. F BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. GIGI’S RESTAURANT, 3130 Hartley Rd., 694-4300, jaxramada.com. In Ramada. Prime rib, crab leg buffet Fri. & Sat., blue-jean brunch Sun., daily buffets. $$$ FB B R L D Daily HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 30, 880-3040, harmoniousmonks.net. F American steakhouse: Angus steaks, burgers, ribs, wraps. $$ FB K L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 11365 San Jose Blvd., 674-2945.

F SEE ORANGE PARK. NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. F Organic soups, sandwiches, wraps, baked goods, prepared foods.

Juice, smoothie and coffee bar. All-natural, organic beers, wines. Indoor, outdoor dining. $ BW TO K B L D Daily THE PIG BAR-B-Q, 14985 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 108, 374-0393, thepigbarbq.com. Bite Club. SEE SOUTHSIDE.

WHOLE FOODS MARKET, 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 22, 288-1100, wholefoodsmarket.com. F Expansive prepared-food department with 80+ items, full-service/ self-service hot bar, salad bar, soup bar, dessert bar, pizza, sushi, sandwich stations. $$ BW TO L D Daily

ORANGE PARK

ARON’S PIZZA, 650 Park Ave., 269-1007, aronspizza. com. F Family-owned restaurant has eggplant dishes, manicotti, New York-style pizzas. $$ BW K TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS, 1540 Wells Rd., 269-2122. BOJ winner.

SEE PONTE VEDRA.

THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club. com. Southern-style fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. $$$ FB D Tue.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., 276-7370.

1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove, 284-7789, larryssubs.com. F For 30+ years, they pile ’em high and serve ’em fast. Hot/cold subs, soups, salads. $ K TO B L D Daily THE PIG BAR-B-Q, 1330 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 170, 213-9744, thepigbarbq.com. Bite Club. SEE SOUTHSIDE. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611, roadhouseonline.net. F For 35-plus years, Roadhouse has been offering wings, sandwiches, burgers, quesadillas; 75+ imported beers. Large craft beer selection. $ FB L D Daily

PONTE VEDRA

AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A N., 543-1494. F SEE BEACHES. DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 100 Marketside Ave., 829-8134, dickswingsandgrill.com. F BOJ winner. NASCARthemed; 365 kinds of wings, 1/2-lb. burgers, ribs. $ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S SUBS, 830 A1A N., 273-3993. F SEE ORANGE PARK. PUSSER’S BAR & GRILLE, 816 A1A N., Ste. 100, 280-7766, pussersusa.com. F BOJ winner. Bite Club.

Caribbean cuisine, regional faves: Jamaican grilled pork ribs, Trinidad smoked duck, lobster macaroni & cheese

BLACK SHEEP RESTAURANT, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, blacksheep5points.com. New American with a Southern twist; locally sourced ingredients. Rooftop bar. $$$ FB R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 869 Stockton St., Stes.

1 & 2, 855-1181. BOJ winner. F Small-batch, artisanal coffee roasting. Organic, fair trade. $ BW TO B L Daily BREW FIVE POINTS, 1024 Park St., 714-3402, brewfive points.com. F Local craft beer, espresso, coffee and wine bar. Rotating drafts, 75+ canned craft beers; sodas,

ORANGE PARK.

BITE-SIZED

photo by Caron Streibich

MANDARIN, NW ST. JOHNS

tea. Rotating seasonal menu of waffles, pastries, toasts, desserts to pair with specialty coffees, craft beers. $$ BW K B L Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco.com.

Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free and vegetarian options. $ BW L D Daily.

DICK’S WINGS, 5972 San Juan Ave., 693-9258. BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 2753 Park St., 384-9999. BOJ winner. 130+ import beers, 20 on tap. NYC-style Reuben, sandwiches. Outside dining at some. $ BW K L D Daily GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. BOJ winner. F Juice bar; certified organic fruits, vegetables. 300+ craft/ import beers, 50 wines, organic produce, humanely raised meats, deli, raw items, vegan, vitamins, herbs. Organic wraps, sides, sandwiches, salads to go. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE, 1001 Park St., 5080342, hawkerstreetfare.com. BOJ winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls. $ BW TO L D Daily JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILLE, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055.

F Casual spot offers sandwiches, classic salads, homefries. One word: Reuben. $ TO B L Daily KNEAD BAKESHOP, 1173 Edgewood Ave. S. Locallyowned, family-run; made-from-scratch pastries, artisan breads, pies, specialty sandwiches, soups. $ TO B L Tue.-Sun. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1509 Margaret, 674-2794. 7895 Normandy, 781-7600. 8102 Blanding, 779-1933. F SEE

ROLL OUT

More bang for your buck at HANA YORI Japanese restaurant

BITE SIZED

And as for the sushi, we found Hana NOT FAR FROM THE INTERSECTION of Yori’s offerings tasty, made even better by the Beach and Kernan boulevards sits HANA YORI restaurant’s reasonable prices. I selected three Sushi & Grill Japanese Restaurant, spacious pieces of nigiri – spicy scallop ($2.50), flying and inviting, featuring two well-lit rooms with fish egg ($1.50) and salmon roe ($4.50 for 2), plenty of seating. On our recent visit, the young and two rolls. My crispy Philly roll ($5.99) was server was friendly and knowledgeable, often an interesting take on the krab-and-creamchecking in to ensure we were satisfied with cheese Philly; panko breaded, then deep fried. our selections, and giving us an overview of the menu and restaurant, which recently expanded. (Does Paula Deen like sushi? She’d love this.)

The standout was the Russian Silk ($7.99) with Newcomers are given a small wooden tuna, yellow tail, avocado inside the roll and block, about the size of an index card, and thinly sliced krab, fish eggs, scallions on top a black Sharpie marker. Decorate at your with drizzles of both spicy mayo and sweet leisure – name and date, a beloved sports eel sauce on the plate. Thumbs up, all around. team, or that thing you like to draw – but rest There’s even a slot on the assured, your tile will end up somewhere on Hani Yori’s HANA YORI JAPANESE sushi menu to create your own roll. walls, a customer-created RESTAURANT We also ordered hibachi ambience that’s fun to peruse.

12226 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, filet mignon and chicken Online reviews of the lava Intracoastal, 527-8875 ($16.99) combination fries ($6.99) – a stack of fries meal, a $3 increase over with spicy krab salad and thinly just steak. It arrived with clear soup, salad diced scallions on top – are overwhelmingly with ginger dressing, a generous mound of positive. So we ordered them. They ended up being our least favorite item. The fries are thick, fried rice (though you can request white rice) studded with egg and diced carrots, broccoli seemingly once frozen, and the topping works and zucchini and a side of homemade shrimp better with seaweed and rice than potatoes.

Some things are best kept separate, like church sauce. Our medium-rare filet was flavorful, and we salvaged enough for lunch the next day. and state (and fries and sushi), right?

However, the bright green seaweed salad Caron Streibich ($4.50) and deep-fried agedashi tofu ($3.99) biteclub@folioweekly.com were both solid starter choices. facebook.com/folioweeklybitesized APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35

DINING DIRECTORY METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BAR-B-Q, 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551, monroessmokehousebbq.com. Wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey, ribs. Homestyle sides: beans, baked beans, mac-n-cheese, collards. $$ K TO L Mon.-Sat.; D Fri. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442.

F BOJ winner. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434, mossfire.com. F Southwestern fish tacos, enchiladas.

Happy hour Mon.-Sat. upstairs lounge, all day Sun. $$ FB K L D Daily O’BROTHERS IRISH PUB, 1521 Margaret St., 854-9300, obrothersirishpub.com. F Traditional shepherd’s pie with Stilton crust, Guinness mac-n-cheese, fish-n-chips.

Patio dining. $$ FB K TO L D Daily THE PIG BAR-B-Q, 5456 Normandy Blvd., 783-1606, thepigbarbq.com. Bite Club. SEE SOUTHSIDE. RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969. Bar food. $ D SILVER COW, 1506 King St., 379-6968, silvercowjax. com. Laid-back, cozy, subdued spot serves craft beers, wines. The full menu is ever-expanding. $$ BW L D Daily.

SILVER COW ANNEX, 1508 King St., 379-6968, annexjax.com. Adjacent to Silver Cow; serves craft beers, wines. Bigscreen TVs, games. Chorizo tacos, burgers. $$ BW D Daily.

OUTHERN ROOTS FILLING STATION, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. Healthy, light vegan fare made fresh daily with local, organic ingredients.

Specials, served on bread, local greens or rice, change daily. Coffees, teas. $ Tue.-Sun. SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside, Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushicafejacksonville.com. F Sushi variety: Monster Roll, Jimmy Smith Roll; faves Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll.

Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. Indoor or patio. $$ BW L D Daily

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F SEE BEACHES. APPLEBEE’S, 225 S.R. 312, 825-4099. SEE MANDARIN. AVILES, 32 Avenida Menendez, 829-2277 F Hilton Inn Bayfront. Progressive European menu; made-to-order pasta night, wine dinners, chophouse nights, breakfast buffet.

Sun. champagne brunch, bottomless mimosas. $$$ FB K B L D Daily BARLEY REPUBLIC, 48 Spanish St., 547-2023, barley republicph.com. Old City’s only Irish gastropub in historic area has fish & chips, shepherd’s pie, lambburger, craft beers and spirits. $$ FB K TO L D Daily CANDLELIGHT SOUTH, 1 Anastasia Blvd., 819-0588.

Casual spot offers fish tacos, sandwiches, wings, desserts, sangria, daily specials. $ BW K TO L D Daily THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655, thefloridian staug.com. Updated Southern fare, fresh ingredients.

Vegetarian, gluten-free. Fried green tomatobruschetta, grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D Wed.-Mon. GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F Local mainstay for more than 25 years.

The varied menu changes twice daily. Signature dish: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. Sun. brunch. $$ FB R Sun.; L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040.

F Bite Club. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. METRO DINER, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323.

F BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova, 342-5264. F BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 321 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 217-3256, saltlifefoodshack.com.

BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. TEMPO, 16 Cathedral Place, 547-0240. The Latin American fusion wine bar and restaurant offers traditional American fare with a Latin flair; sandwiches, too. $$ BW L D Tue.-Sun.

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER

APPLEBEE’S, 4507 Town Ctr. Pkwy., 645-3590. SEE MANDARIN.

BRIO TUSCAN GRILLE, 4910 Big Island Dr., 807-9960.

Upscale Northern Italian fare, wood-grilled and ovenroasted steaks, chops, seafood. Dine indoors or al fresco on the terrace. $$$ FB K TO R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily M SHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000, mshack burgers.com. F BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr., 900-7730, ovinte. com. European-style dining influenced by Italy, Spain and the Mediterranean. Small plates, entrée-size portions, selections from the cheese a charcuterie menu. $$$ BW TO R D Daily

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

ALLURE THAI & SUSHI, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190, basilthaijax.com. F Authentic dishes: Pad Thai, curries, sashimi, fresh sushi, daily specials. $$ FB L D Mon.-Sat. BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox. com. F Mediterranean and French inspired cuisine includes steak frites, oak-fired pizza and a new raw bar with seasonal selections. $$$ FB TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS, 1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110. BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 1704 San Marco Blvd.,

36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2015

398-9500. BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. $ BW K L D Daily FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusionsushijax.com. F Upscale sushi spot serves a variety of fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ K L D Daily THE GROTTO WINE & TAPAS BAR, 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726. F Artisanal cheese plates, empanadas, bruschetta, cheesecake. 60+ wines by the glass. $$$ BW Tue.-Sun. HAMBURGER MARY’S BAR & GRILLE, 3333 Beach Blvd., Ste. 1, 551-2048, hamburgermarys.com. F Wings, sammies, nachos, entrées, specialty drinks, burgers. $$ K TO FB L D Daily KITCHEN ON SAN MARCO, 1402 San Marco Blvd., 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com. New gastropub features local and national craft beers, specialty cocktails and a seasonal menu focusing on fresh, locally sourced ingredients and cuisine. $$ FB L D Daily MEZZE BAR & GRILL, 2016 Hendricks Ave., 683-0693, mezzejax.com. Classic cocktails, fresh basil martinis, 35 draft beers, local/craft brews, Mediterranean cuisine.

Hookah patio. Happy hour. $$ FB D Daily MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922, matthews restaurant.com. Chef Matthew Medure’s flagship. Fine dining, artfully presented cuisine, small plates, martini/ wine lists. Happy hour Mon.-Fri. Reservations. $$$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metrodiner.com. F BOJ winner. Original upscale diner.

Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. $$ B R L Daily MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200.

F BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PIZZA PALACE, 1959 San Marco, 399-8815, pizzapalace jax.com. F Family-owned; homestyle faves: spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, lasagna. Outside dining. $$ BW K TO L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco, 398-3005, tavernasan marco.com. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; local produce, meats. Craft beers, handcrafted cocktails. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE, TINSELTOWN

360° GRILLE, LATITUDE 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555, latitude360.com. F Popular place serves seafood, steaks, burgers, chicken, sandwiches, pizza.

Patio, movie theater. $$ FB TO L D Daily AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 7077 Bonneval Rd., 332-8700.

F SEE DOWNTOWN. ALHAMBRA THEATRE & DINING, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. USA’s longest-running dinner theater; Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus.

Reservations. $$ FB D Tue.-Sun. APPLEBEE’S, 5055 JTB Blvd., 296-6895. SEE MANDARIN. BARBERITOS, 4320 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., Ste. 106, 807-9060. F SEE AMELIA ISLAND. DANCIN DRAGON, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138D, 363-9888. BOGO lunches, an Asian fusion menu. $$ FB K L D Daily DICK’S WINGS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 619-0954. BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. THE DIM SUM ROOM, 9041 Southside, Ste. 138D, 363-9888, thedimsumroom.com. Shrimp dumplings, beef tripe, sesame ball. Traditional Hong Kong noodles, barbecue. $ FB K L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717.

BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff S., 6416499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955. F Bite Club. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BAR B-Q, 10771 Beach Blvd., 996-7900, monroessmokehousebbq.com. SEE RIVERSIDE. THE PIG BAR-B-Q, 11925 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 619-0321, thepigbarbq.com. Bite Club. This popular fourthgeneration barbecue institution has been family-owned for 60+ years. The signature item is mustard-based “pig sauce.” $ BW K TO B, L D Daily TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Ct., 854-0426, tavernayamas.com. F Bite Club. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, wines, desserts. Belly dancing. $$ FB K L D Daily TOMMY’S BRICK OVEN PIZZA, 4160 Southside, Ste. 2, 565-1999, tbopizza.com. F New York-style thin crust, brick-oven-baked pizzas (gluten-free), calzones, sandwiches. Boylan’s soda. Curbside pick-up. $$ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE VISCONDE’S ARGENTINIAN GRILL, 11925 Beach Blvd., Ste. 201, 379-3925. The area’s only Argentinian place. Traditional steaks, varieties of sausages, pasta, sandwiches, empañadas, wines. $$$ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

HOLA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1001 N. Main St., 356-3100, holamexicanrestaurant.com. F Fajitas, burritos, enchiladas, daily specials. Happy hour; sangria. $ BW K TO L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999.

SEE ORANGE PARK.

THE PIG BAR-B-Q, 9760 Lem Turner Rd., 765-4336, thepigbarbq.com. Bite Club. SEE SOUTHSIDE.

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

WORLD’S WORST SCULPTOR It seemed like a good idea when Celoron, New York, agreed in 2009 to pay for a bronze statue honoring the village’s only celebrity. Lucille Ball had spent her childhood there and, even today, everyone “Loves Lucy.” The result was apparently a monstrosity, described in news reports as “frightening” and unrecognizable by anyone who’s ever watched Lucy’s TV shows or movies. The original sculptor first suggested a fee of $8,000-$10,000 to make a better one, but after Mayor Scott Schrecengost started a fundraising campaign, the sculptor offered to make another one for free.

LEADING ECONOMIC INDICATORS In additional fallout from IRS budget cuts and personnel reductions, the supervisory revenue official for the Dallas region disclosed in April his office had so few collectors, it would pursue only scofflaws who owe the government at least $1 million. “I have to say,” the supervisor told a reporter, “nobody’s ever going to knock on [the] door” of anyone who owes from $100,000 to $999,999.

UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT At Australia’s sixth annual National Disability Summit in Melbourne in March, all the speakers except one were able-bodied. That person, in a wheelchair, had to be lifted up to the stage because there was no ramp. Disabled activists in attendance told the Australian Broadcasting Corp. the “disabled” section’s table was at the back of the room, the food tables were elevated to accommodate standers, and one accessible toilet was being used as storage space.

BRIGHT IDEAS German high school student Simon Schrader, 17, preparing for the allimportant “Abitur” advanced-level tests to identify top-performing students, filed a formal request in April, under North Rhine-Westphalia state’s generous freedom of information law, for an advance copy of the test. “I just wanted to see what they would say,” he said. He filed a little late, in that the state’s deadline for responding came after most of the testing.

RAISING A DELICATE GENERATION In preparation for the National Union of Students Women’s Conference in Solihull, England, in March some attendees requested clapping

for any speaker be discouraged, but audience approval be expressed by “jazz hands” — open hands, palm directed to the stage, fingers extended wildly. Using “jazz hands” would show compassion for attendees who have anxiety and other disorders, and for speakers who might be distracted by the din of approval.

WHAT A WASTE/WAIST Venezuelan women’s obsession with bodily beauty usually focuses on face, breasts and buttocks. Model Aleira Avendano’s had those surgeries. Avendano’s signature feature is her 20-inch waist, which she says has been maintained by wearing an absurdly tight corset for 23 hours a day for the past six years. “I wash myself and rest for an hour, and then I put it on again. At first, it was terrible, then I got used to it, and [it] became a necessity.”

CALIFORNIA LAW A jury in Atascadero, California, having already convicted Mark Andrews, 51, of murder, concluded in March that he was legally sane at the time he shot his neighbor to death even though he claimed she was a vampire and that he had been, for 20 years, a werewolf. A month later, a San Francisco judge acquitted Santino Aviles, 41, of robbery and other felony charges after he claimed the apartment he broke into was a spaceship that would take him to safety before the imminent explosion of Earth. His lawyer called his condition a “meth-fueled psychosis,” and he was convicted only of misdemeanors.

READERS’ CHOICE No charges were filed in an April incident in Lee County, Georgia, even though a 74-year-old woman was shot by her son-in-law. Deputies accepted the explanation that Larry McElroy shot at an armadillo with a 9mm handgun, killing it, but the bullet ricocheted, went about 100 yards, first off a fence and then through the woman’s mobile home, hitting her in the back. She wasn’t seriously hurt.

Robert Abercrombie became the most recent practitioner of DIY tooth extraction when he yanked out a front tooth of his 8-year-old son, Jason, by tying the tooth to his Camaro and driving away. Jason was cool with the stunt, which was captured on video and posted on the Internet. “It came out!” Jason is seen shouting joyously (and bloodily) into the camera.

Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net

APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37

ASTROLOGY

FOLIO WEEKLY PUZZLER by MERL REAGLE. Presented by

SAN MARCO 2044 SAN MARCO BLVD. 398-9741

PONTE VEDRA

THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA

330 A1A NORTH 280-1202

On a Scale from 1 to 8

SOUTHSIDE

AVONDALE 3617 ST. JOHNS AVE. 10300 SOUTHSIDE BLVD. 388-5406 394-1390 AVENUES MALL

92 What easy mazes and gourmet cheeses may 1 Crazy Horse, for one lead to?

7 Sam Shepard’s ___ of 96 Miss identification the Mind 98 2016 Olympics city 11 Buy for bisque 99 Hemingway title word 15 Reaction to a stranger 100 Simple bit of plankton 18 Stevedore 101 Why my dad has five 19 Crime and Punishment copies of Amahl and the heroine Night Visitors?

21 Romero’s room 106 Silkwood co-star 22 Desert demande 107 Nips in the bud 23 Snack idea (“It’s sweet! 108 Express or expressed It’s salty!”) that never 109 Temperature tester, caught on? perhaps 25 Volunteer’s boast 111 No Yankees fan 27 JAX’s summer hrs.

113 Decaf, jokingly 28 LAX or Dulles 115 Bringin’ up a kid who 29 Lose support constantly mumbles?

31 Washington posts 120 1930s home run king 32 Cut the crop 121 Melon discard 35 Roy Bean?

122 Pope’s An Essay ___ 39 Choreographer Pan 123 Smear 41 Long time, in London 124 Brit’s conclusion 42 Here-there link 125 The Dream and the 43 Slangy turnaround Patriot 44 Answer to, “How long has 126 Tart spiciness it been, compadre?”

127 Way overcharges for 47 Campaign-funding grp.

49 Pigs out (on), briefly DOWN 50 On one’s ___ 1 Ye follower, often 51 Old waste allowance 2 Page-turner 52 Flan filling 3 Outage backups 56 Aide with a pad 4 Soccer phenom Freddy 58 In the thick of 5 Umpire’s call 61 Museum-funding grp.

6 Foot’s curve 62 Least dietary dish on a 7 Hungry ___ Chinese menu?

68 Popular German women’s 8 Place: abbr. magazine, ___ im Spiegel 9 Pen pal?

10 “I need your full 69 Recyclable item attention right now!”

70 Surgeon portrayer 11 Drama set in Vegas 71 Trees, rooftops, etc. – in 12 Showing more skin short, where sunshades 13 Klute director __ Pakula end up on a windy day?

14 Language that gave us 78 Pre-O trio “gumbo” 79 Wee 15 Dragon slayer 80 Skipjack and others 16 Blues singer Ma ___ 81 It’s inside South Africa 17 Dead-end jobs 83 “Off ’til Monday!”

20 Many an Omani 87 The Eagle that landed, 24 Robot-rebellion play e.g.

26 Subtract 88 Scuba tank meas.

30 The Daltons, e.g.

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33 Actress Adams 34 Desert hallucinogen 36 Pain in the neck 37 Jet engine sound 38 “___ much!”

39 Coverage letters 40 Runoff collector 45 Black Beauty author Sewell 46 Mississippi River source 47 Word on a door 48 Italian wine city 52 U.S. org. with quarantine authority 53 Tarsus site 54 Orchestra section 55 Comedian Gould 56 Rudely ignore 57 Pal of Kent and Lane 59 Extinct birds 60 “The race ___ over!”

(Messala’s last words to Ben-Hur) 62 Mr. Clean target 63 Merits 64 Dandies 65 “It was ___ remember” 66 Seagoing sort 67 Cool characters 68 Cooling-off period?

72 Palindromic Prussian 73 NPR host Diane

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TAURUS (April 20-May 20): eBay is a multi-billion-dollar e-commerce business that’s been around for almost 20 years, but it had an inauspicious beginning. The first item sold on the service was a broken laser pointer. Even though the thing didn’t work, and the seller told the buyer it didn’t work, it brought in $14.83. This may be a useful metaphor for your future. I have faith in the vigor of long-term trends you are or will soon be setting in motion, initial steps may be iffy.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Poetically speaking, it’s time to purify your world of all insanities, profanities, and inanities. It’s a perfect moment for a once-in-a-blue-moon Scour-aThon, when you have a mandate to purge all clunkiness, junkiness, and gunkiness from your midst. And as you flush away your hypocrisies and discrepancies, and dispense with any tendency to make way too much sense, remember evil is allergic to laughter. Humor is a most effective psychospiritual cleanser.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I was in the Whole Foods checkout line. The shopper ahead of me had piled her groceries on the conveyor belt, and it was her turn to be rung up. “How are you doing?” she said cheerfully to the cashier, a crabby-looking hipster whom I happened to know is a Cancerian poet and lead singer in a local rock band.

“Oh, I am living my dream,” he replied. I guessed he was being sarcastic, though I didn’t know for sure.

In any case, I had a flash of intuition that his answer should be your mantra in the weeks ahead. Time to redouble your commitment to living your dream! Say it 20 times in a row now: “I am living my dream.”

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): As I woke this morning, I remembered the dream I’d just had: I’d written a horoscope for you. It said: “The Kentucky Derby is a famous horse race held every first Saturday of May. It’s called The Run for the Roses because one of the prizes that goes to the winning horse and jockey is a garland of 554 roses. Your life may soon bring an odd treasure like that. Will it be a good thing, or too much of a good thing? Useful or kind of weird?

Beautiful or a bit ridiculous? The answers may depend in part on your willingness to adjust expectations.”

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VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Don’t calm down.

Don’t retreat to your sanctuary and relax into protective comfort. If you have faith and remain committed to the messy experiment you’ve stirred up, the stress and agitation you’re dealing with ripen into vitality and excitement. Not exaggerating, dear explorer.

You’re on the verge of tapping into catalytic beauty and rejuvenating truth lurking beneath the frustration. You’re close to unlocking deeper ambitions trapped inside surface-level wishes.

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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Chris Moneymaker was employed as an accountant in Tennessee. On a whim, he paid $39 to enter an online poker tournament. Though he knew a lot about the game, he’d never competed professionally.

Nevertheless, he won the tournament. He received no award money, but rather an invitation to participate in the annual World Series of Poker in Las Vegas. Can you guess the storybook ending? The rookie triumphed over 838 pros, scoring $2.5 million. I don’t foresee anything quite as spectacular for you, but there may be similarities in your saga. Like, a modest investment on your part could give you a chance to earn much more.

Another possible plot twist: You could generate luck by ramping up a skill that’s been just a hobby.

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74 Phyte starter 75 Cease-fire 76 Hogan contemporary 77 ___ pentameter 82 Bully’s warning 84 Monster in ’54 movie Them!

85 Picture, in art dept. lingo 86 Gab or song ending 88 Protective, perhaps 89 Stashed for later 90 It might follow sex 92 Family nickname 93 Pageantry 94 Finishing a letter 95 Said twice, it means “enthusiastic” 96 Turns aside 97 Toast topic 98 Take offense at 102 “Fiddle-dee-dee” utterer 103 Of Hindu scripture 104 Mark’s replacement 105 Fluoride, for one 107 Henri’s “huh?”

110 Falls off 112 Feints in the ring 114 One interested in bite marks, perhaps: abbr.

116 “___-comin’!”

117 Part of SFFD 118 It’s done for fun, for short 119 Oklahoma city

Solution to KP Duty (4/22/15) T O P O F S N A I L K E L L Y P B E K E Y B O A I V O R Y R A Y E E K N O T T Y T O R S D I B E T O Q U E O N U S K N I F E P E A T T R B U E K O I P B I O A R T S A L K I T T P E I C E I N M E N G A

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ANIMAL SOUNDS, HORSE RACING, WHOLE FOODS, OPRAH & EBAY

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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): American author Stephen Crane wrote his celebrated Civil War novel The Red Badge of Courage in 10

days. Composer George Frideric Handel polished off his famous oratorio Messiah in a mere 24 days, and Russian writer Fyodor Dostoyevsky produced his novel The Gambler in 16 days. On the other hand, Junot Díaz, who won a Pulitzer Prize for his novel The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, took 10 years to finish it.

As for you, this is — and should be! — a phase more like Díaz’s. Go slow. Be super-extra-thorough. What you’re working on can’t be rushed.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In her book A Natural History of the Senses, Diane Ackerman describes a medieval knight who asked his lady for a strand of her pubic hair: a symbol of her life force. The lady agreed. He placed the talisman in a locket he wore around his neck, confident it would protect and consecrate him in the course of the rough adventures ahead. I recommend you consider a similar tack in the weeks ahead. As you head toward a turning point, arm yourself with a personal blessing from someone you love. Success is most likely if you tincture fierce determination with magical tenderness.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “An escalator can never break,” mused the late comedian Mitch Hedberg. “It can only become stairs. You should never see an ‘Escalator Temporarily Out of Order’ sign, just ‘Escalator is Temporarily Stairs.’” A similar principle applies to you. If we were to evaluate your current situation with conventional wisdom, we may say part of your usual array of capacities is not functioning at its usual level. But if we adopted a perspective like Hedberg’s, we could rightly say this part of you is serving its purpose in a different way.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I’ve got a tough assignment for you. It won’t be easy, but you’re ready to do a good job. Learn to be totally at home with your body. Figure out what you need to do to feel unconditional love for your physical form. To start on this noble, sacred task, practice feeling compassion for your so-called imperfections.

Cast a love spell on yourself each night, with a red candle, a mirror, and your favorite creamy beverage. It may also help to go to a playground and swing on the swings, make loud animal sounds, or have in unusually uninhibited sex. Any other ideas?

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): When Aquarian media mogul Oprah Winfrey was born, “Oprah” was not what she was called. Her birth certificate says she’s “Orpah,” a name her aunt borrowed from a character in the biblical Book of Ruth.

As Oprah grew up, her friends and relatives had trouble pronouncing “Orpah,” and often turned it into “Oprah.”

The distorted form stuck. If I were her, I’d consider revisiting that old twist soon, maybe even restoring “Orpah.” For Aquarians, it’s a good time to investigate original intentions, explore primal meanings or play around with the earliest archetypes.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Scan your memories and identify everyone who’s ever tried to limit your options, dampen your enthusiasm or crush your freedom. On a piece of paper, write a list of the times someone insinuated you’ll forever be stuck in a shrunken possibility, predicted what you’ll supposedly never be able to do, or said you had a problem beyond your ability to solve.

Once you’ve compiled all the constricting ideas about yourself others have tried to saddle you with, burn that piece of paper and declare yourself exempt from their curses. In the days afterward, all of life will conspire to expand your freedom.

Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

HELP WANTED

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HELLO, YOUNG LOVERS (aka ISU writers)!

The limit for ISU notices is 40 words ONLY. No messages with more than

40 words will be accepted. Please keep your message short & sweet. Thanks!

MR. MATRIX You: Dorky in a really sexy way. Me: Drew Barrymore look-alike. Stopped at your booth and heard you say you originally came up with the idea for “The Matrix.” You can give me your red or blue pill anytime, stud! When: April 10.

Where: One Spark. #1517-0415 JUICE BAR BABE You: Incredibly cute girl working juice bar. Braided blonde hair, nose ring. Your favorite is Pineapple Julius. Me: Suave, long-haired Adonis, right arm tattoo, sees you from afar, often there. Let’s meet, talk about more you like. When: April 3. Where: Baymeadows Native Sun. #1516-0408 ENDLESS LOVE You: Handsome, buff, bald man, best smile, driving ivory Cadillac. Me: Short, long hair, blue-eyed girl who works your conversions; my heart melts when I see you.

Let’s meet so I can convert you over to a real woman! When: March 4. Where: Baymeadows business. #1515-0408 SMILE’S FOREVER, HOWEVER Bumped into me, Underbelly’s bar, Art Walk. Dark hair, brilliant smile. Taking hygienist work home with you? Talked about smiles, other thing. I’ll make other thing last. You left with friends; didn’t get number. Let’s make smiles! When: April 1. Where: Underbelly. #1514-0408 BEAUTIFUL SOCCER HOOLIGAN You: Blonde, glasses, ripped rolled-up jeans, yellow sweater, Armada scarf, temp cheek tattoo. Me: Dark hair, glasses, full sleeves. You behind me, half-time refreshment line. We smiled in section 141 top. Let’s sit side-by-side. When: March 28. Where: EverBank Field. #1513-0401 HAITIAN GENTLEMAN IN PINK Mr. I make airplanes crank for a living. Ms. Blonde alone on corner reading Folio Weekly ISU impatiently waiting; meanwhile collecting the worst pick-up lines. White boy was smooth; you, however, have my attention. When: March 28. Where: Outside De Real Ting. #1512-0401 BEST ASS I’VE SEEN You: Sweaty, dark hair, petite, beautiful Asian lifting heavy (humping weights? Never seen that workout), engrossed in weights and convos with gym regulars. Sorry, couldn’t stop staring. Let’s train together.

Whatever you’re doing is working. When: March 16. Where: LA Fitness Atlantic Beach. #1511-0325 0% IRISH, 100% DRUNK You: Orange sack pack and white sleeveless shirt. Me: White collared shirt and green tie. Didn’t expect to have a dance partner. Will you shake it off with me again? When: March 17. Where: Brix Taphouse. #1510-0325 LITTLE DRUMMER BOY You: Black, bald, beautiful. Me: Hungry and watching. I was behind you in line while you pretended to play drums like Lars Ulrich. Can I play with your drumstick? When: March 6. Where: Taco Bell @ Hodges. #1509-0311 FREEBIRD EXPENDABLES SHOW On 2/25. We talked at very end by merchant stand. Short convo; said you’re finishing teaching degree. You: Very cute brunette, awesome smile. Would like to see you again! When: Feb. 25. Where: Freebird Live. #1508-0304 I SAW U Connection Made!

GIRL WITH THE SCAR On face, eye to forehead. ISU at gay bar, long ago; wanted to know you. My heart skipped a beat. You were and still are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen; always cross my mind. When: April 2014. Where: The bar. #1507-0304 NICE TO MEET You: Tall, handsome, broken wrist. Me: Cute, athletic, long sandy hair. Helped me sign out paddleboard; said nice to meet. Maybe you caught my name; don’t know yours. Meet 11 a.m. Feb. 13 at the lake. When: Jan. 31.

Where: UNF Lake Oneida. #1506-0211

I SAW U Connection Made!

ASIAN GODDESS SNAP FITNESS Me: Purposefully stretching longer, safe creeping distance. You: Gleaming from sweat, holding handstand a respectable amount of time! Took off shoes, socks; caught me watching. Kept gaze. You smiled, continued poses. Left before drool commenced. When: Jan. 20.

Where: Snap Fitness. #1505-0204

HOTTIE IN HAMMOCK You: Tall, leggy, brunette, great skin, rocking in hammock at pool. Me: Scotch-loving bald guy who still loves a Fierce Polish Viking. Hoping you’ll rock me tonight like your body rocks in that hammock. When: Jan. 28. Where: Beside the pool. #1504-0128 HOT COFFEE MAN You: tall, dark hair, with Starbucks. Me: tall, yellow shirt.

ISU at Starbucks 20 minutes before; again in garage stairs.

Held door for me, I smiled, thanked you. Remember me?

When: Jan. 22. Baptist Medical Ctr. Garage. #1503-0128 BAYMEADOWS BUSINESS You: Bald white guy, sharp dresser, older white Saturn. Me: Slim white guy. Had my eye on you; said hi; you said Happy Holidays Christmas Eve. Let’s do lunch! When: Dec. 24.

Where: Baymeadows mgmnt. co. #1502-0114 FILL ’ER UP You: Tall, handsome, blue shirt “Refill.” Me: Sexy, orange dress. Looking for headphones; made small talk. Wanted number; you tired from work. Let’s make beautiful music, Mr. Refill. When: Dec. 30. Where: Best Buy. #1501-0107 LOVER @ WALMART? Sunday, 10:45 a.m., S’s register. You: Tan jacket, glasses, nice-looking man, holiday spirit. Me: Blue jeans, jeans jacket, behind you. Should’ve talked more. I looked for you later. When: Dec. 21. Where: Normandy Walmart. #1500-0107 8-8-14; MEANING OF TIME? Easy answer. Time means nothing, absolutely nothing outside context of you. Hours seem like hours, days like days. Dice don’t match. Cards on my heart’s table come up different. Don’t fret; UNIverse loves us; it’s MASTER of time.

When: Aug. 8. Where: Pagan Idol. #1436-1224 TELL[ER] ME ABOUT YOU You: Nice, redhead, long braid bank teller, remembered papa’s last name. Me: Young, blonde-bearded, with whitebearded retired officer. Let’s officially meet! When: Dec. 19 FOP Xmas Party. Where: Lodge #530. #1435-1224

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LOVED SHOW...

You: Brunette, glasses, beautiful; upstairs with guys.

Loved watching you apply lipstick; you looked at me, eyes communicated deep hunger. My girlfriend told you I thought you beautiful. I’d love to talk. Me: Long-sleeved green shirt.

When: Dec. 13. Where: OP Kennel Clubhouse. #1434-1224 HOPE WOMAN I SAW READS THIS...

You: long, black, curly hair, glasses, tan complexion, beautiful smile!; headed to NY. Me: Non-descript white guy.

Not sure you saw me; thought we locked eyes. Couldn’t keep my eyes off you! Remember? When: Dec. 4. Where: Jax International Airport. #1433-1224 DEM PINSTRIPES THO ...

Light glittered off your beautiful bald head. Gave me that look, poured drink. Hands touched as you gave me the glass. Instantly knew you’re my only bartender. Liked big orange you gave me. Personal bartender? When: Dec. 13.

Where: Time Out Sportsbar & Grill. #1432-1217

APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39