Folio Weekly 05/27/15 by Folio Weekly

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P. 9

OFFENSE SITTERS

Descrambling the populist reaction to edgy art

P. 10

IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?

Gov. Scott plays politics with the health of Florida’s uninsured

P. 31

STANZAS OF THE SILVER

City’s silent film era informs the work of local poet

2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MAY 27-JUNE 2, 2015

MAY 27-JUNE 2, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 3

FROM THE EDITOR

MEDIOCRITY LOVES COMPANY LAST TUESDAY, THERE WAS AN ELECTION. Audits of our readership — which have proved you, the reader, civically informed, at the very least — show that you are well aware of that. Folio Weekly comes out every Wednesday and our production schedule is such that this issue — arriving on newsstands eight days after the city of Jacksonville held municipal elections — is our first opportunity (at least in print) to offer news, insight, opinion (of course) on what went down at the polls. Eight days is an eternity. Rendered so not just by the new reality of the news cycle, but by the impact of social media. In his new book, The Road to Character, The New York Times columnist David Brooks describes himself (and his occupation) in less than flattering terms when he writes he is someone who gets “paid to be a narcissistic blowhard, to volley my opinions, to appear more confident about them than I really am, to appear smarter than I really am, to appear better and more authoritative than I really am.” On Tuesday night, though I did follow the coverage, after the results of the city elections were announced, I purposely stayed away from social media. I wanted to think clearly about what had occurred and that meant avoiding commentary from traditional news outlets — which occupies a fair amount of real estate on my myriad feeds — as well as the spectrum of analysis, elucidations, rants, and vitriol which has become de rigueur for a population confident enough to volley their opinions across as many digital platforms as they can post to at once. I was avoiding, in the self-deprecating words of Brooks, any interaction with “the narcissistic blowhards” of the new frontier. When I finally had a chance to take a look at my Facebook feed, it was just as I’d suspected. Aside from links to various articles explaining away their candidate’s defeat (or hyping their candidate’s victory), everyone had already shared their own personal theories — some of them as lengthy as a New York Times op-ed — about how and why things turned out the way they did. By now, what is left to say that hasn’t been said? One thing I didn’t see was a great deal of interest in outside perspective. Lofty, branded claims about the city’s national relevance and ascendency abound these days. Bold New City of the South gets tossed around quite a bit. Best-kept Secret is not as soaring, but it’s tinged with just the right amount of xenophobia to insinuate it’s a place others might want to discover. Rarely is there any context to these claims. That is to say, a justifiable follow-up would be, Compared to what? I came across a story in The Washington Post carrying the headline “Republican in Jacksonville Wins Rare Big-City Mayor’s Race” (you see where this is going?) that gave some much-needed context, placing the city within a small, interesting peer group. Right next to bold new cities like Mesa, Arizona and Fresno, California, Jacksonville is once again included on the endangered species list of large cities with Republican mayors. As The Post article points out, there are just two cities larger than 4 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MAY 27-JUNE 2, 2015

Jacksonville — San Diego and Indianapolis — with Republican mayors. So what? While big cities are home to a diversity of folks with a broad spectrum of political values, it is clear the shared association to progressive ideals — and the value they place on the intentional (see: public support) advancement of science, technology, economic development and social organization — among their respective populations plays a huge role in moving these cities forward. Places like Asheville and Austin, where public support of the arts has helped to invite in a robust creative class of transplants, enjoy thriving tourist economies. Portland and Seattle’s investments in public transportation and ped-friendly initiatives have helped them bypass San Francisco and L.A. as the darlings of the West. Even Deep South metropolises New Orleans and Charleston are embracing technology and the creative economy with calculated abandon. These are all diverse and relatively inclusive places. In the end, progressive ideals didn’t stick in this election because there was no one really touting them. In the first elections, Bill Bishop’s relative support of a comprehensive-ish HRO earned him the votes of those who might embrace a progressive if they knew what they were looking for, while Alvin Brown was able to raise the progressive flag only to half-staff, feigning interest in a minimum wage increase. But supporters of Mayor Brown threw the word momentum around quite a bit. This was a not-so-subtle manipulation of citizens’ (especially the 20something urbanites) desires to live in a city that was advancing, or progressing, if you will. The Downtown Investment Authority — the nine-member body tasked with using Community Redevelopment Area resources to initiate economic growth in and around the city’s urban core — knows full well the impact a thriving Downtown can have on advancing a city economically and seems to share those desires. Due in large part to Mayor Brown, the DIA will continue to operate somewhat autonomously, with a goal of putting Jacksonville on the map: Retail enhancement in around Downtown. A pedestrian-friendly transformation of much of the urban core’s throughways. The Landing proposals, which call for a visual focal point that can serve to brand the city. And Khan’s Shipyards? Well, judging from what my predecessor called those slick-as-shit renderings, it’ll take a miracle on par with Noah’s Ark (ironically, one of the proposals considered in Iguana Investment’s project’s stead) to get that thing done. The DIA has the funding to do very little of this. But, under Brown, they had a wink and a nod to move forward and his administration’s ability to create such momentum was a departure from decades of conservative governing. So will a return to Republican mayoral rule halt that momentum? Judging by the election results, Jacksonville may not be bold enough to embrace such progress. Matthew B. Shaw mshaw@folioweekly.com

THIS WEEK // 5.27-6.2.15 // VOL. 29 ISSUE 9 COVER STORY The Folio Weekly Ultimate Summer Guide:

FUND-LESS SUMMER

[12]

$1 Beers, Cheap Eats, Free Art, Music and Adventure! Your Ultimate Guide to a FUN-dless Summer.

FEATURED ARTICLES

WHAT I GOT WRONG

[8]

FUTURE SCHLOCK

[30]

[34]

BY J. SCOTT GAILLARD UK PUNK legends maintain their fury at street level – where it belongs.

BY DAN HUDAK Latest SCI-FI Hollywood offering to blast down the pike is a bafflingly bad movie.

BY AG GANCARSKI Following up on PRE-ELECTION prognostications.

GBH: GUILTY AS CHARGED

COLUMNS + CALENDARS FROM THE EDITOR 4 THE SPRAWL 6 BRICKBATS & BOUQUETS 7 FIGHTIN’ WORDS 8 STATE OF THE ARTS 9 NEWS 10

OUR PICKS FILM MAGIC LANTERNS ARTS MUSIC THE KNIFE

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THE SPRAWL A RED ELEPHANT

News + Notes from across Northeast Florida

FERNANDINA BEACH CITY MANAGER JOE GERRITY RESIGNED on May 19, one month after Folio Weekly detailed the turmoil wracking the city’s fire department and Gerrity’s failure to take action to fix it (“Something is Rotten,” April 19). The story outlined how Gerrity promoted two firefighters who lacked management and emergency command training to the top two posts in the department and even as firefighters resigned and left detailed accounts of leadership failures of fire chief James Higginbotham and deputy chief Fino Murallo, Gerrity found nothing wrong. Instead, he fired Human Resources Director Robin Marley. She filed a whistleblower lawsuit against the city. As 2015 got underway, without any significant changes to the command structure, retired Captain Tommy Spicer and representatives from the city’s firefighters union asked commissioners to investigate. Commissioners told Gerrity they wanted him to fix the problems. In response, he asked Higginbotham to step down and return to his job as fire marshal. It was not enough. Although the city is seeking a new chief, Commissioners Robin Lentz and Tim Poynter said at the close of the May 5 meeting that they’d lost confidence in Gerrity’s leadership. In addition to their assessment of his mishandling of the fire department, both criticized Gerrity for his lack of action on redeveloping the city’s waterfront, hiring an airport manager and other city projects. “I feel like there’s a pink elephant in the room every time we meet,” said Lentz at the May 5 meeting. “You drag your feet. You don’t move swiftly. I don’t know why, but I’m not sure that you’re the kind of leader we need to move forward.“ Neither Lentz — who wasn’t on the commission when Gerrity was hired — nor Commissioner Poynter supported hiring Gerrity as city manager in 2012. A consultant the city used to vet city manager candidates didn’t place Gerrity in the top 20 on a list of 93 applicants, citing Gerrity’s lack of experience and his previous role as an elected official, both as a city commissioner and as mayor (See the May 15, 2012 Folio Weekly story, “Oh! & Joe”). After his stint in elected office, Gerrity graduated from University of North Florida in 2008 with a degree in political science and a minor in public administration. He worked for two years as county coordinator in Suwannee County before he was hired as Fernandina Beach’s city manager. While in Suwannee County, Gerrity raised eyebrows by frequently penning opinion pieces for the Fernandina Beach News Leader, where he railed against then-City Manager Michael Czymbor. He also recommended voters choose two Tea Party-aligned candidates as city commissioners. Both promised to fire Czymbor. Those two commissioners and a third formed a voting bloc that led to Czymbor’s resignation and Gerrity’s hiring in 2012, despite the consultant’s recommendation. Though those three commissioners are no longer on the commission, one of their colleagues still is: Commissioner Pat Gass. At the May 19 meeting, she reiterated her support for Gerrity and her opposition to the characterization of the fire department under Higginbotham and Murallo as being 6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MAY 27-JUNE 2, 2015

rife with problems. She blamed the dissension on Captain Spicer, whom she said didn’t receive the retirement package he thought he deserved. “The elephant in the room is not pink,” Gass said at the May 19 meeting. “It’s fireengine red.”

Gerrity said he would make his resignation effective Oct. 2. Commissioners will discuss the timetable and the mechanics of seeking a new city manager at a meeting scheduled for June 2. Susan Cooper Eastman sceastman@folioweekly.com

DOGS IN HEAT

AN INCIDENT INVOLVING A PET left in a hot (temperature-wise) car just out of JSO’s jurisdiction reveals a policy that’s bound to cause issues here Northeast Florida. On May 9, Georgia resident Michael Hammons made national headlines when he broke the window of a car to rescue a dog that had been left inside. By Southern standards, the weather wasn’t particularly hot that day — a temperate 78 degrees — but according to the American Veterinary Medical Association, at that temperature, the interior of the car could have reached upwards of 114 degrees in 30 minutes, more than hot enough to kill the Yorkshire/terrier mix. So rather than wait for an officer while the dog suffered and possibly died of heatstroke, the Desert Storm veteran took matters into his own hands. Many would do the same. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) subsequently said Hammons would receive its Compassionate Action Award for his actions. But the outraged owner of the vehicle, who presumably cared more for her window than her pet, was less than grateful. USA Today reports that upon the owner’s insistence, Hammons was subsequently arrested for criminal trespass by Oconee County, Georgia police. It gets hot here, too. Jacksonville’s municipal code specifically allows police and animal control officers “to enter the vehicle by using the amount of force reasonably necessary to remove the animal” left in a vehicle on a hot day and provides civil and criminal immunity to the officer and civil immunity to the city for such actions. The party responsible for leaving the animal in the car can subsequently be charged with cruelty to animals, a third-degree felony in Florida punishable by up to five years’ imprisonment and/or a fine of up to $10,000. There is a gap in the law, however. A civilian — like Hammons — who breaks into a vehicle to free an animal can be arrested and charged with a crime, such as destruction of property or criminal trespass. Jacksonville

Sheriff ’s Office spokesperson Officer Christian Hancock said he would not personally recommend arrest but confirmed that it is possible for someone to be arrested for such action in Jacksonville. (The criminal charges against Hammons were later dropped.) Worse yet, if a police officer responds to a call involving an animal locked in a hot vehicle, JSO policy is for the officer to attempt to contact the owner. The policy specifically states: “On all calls involving domestic animals, officers should attempt to contact the owner of the animal to resolve the immediate problem.” (Emphasis added.) So instead of immediately affecting rescue, per JSO policy, an officer should make a phone call. Officer Hancock said that the decision of whether to break into a vehicle to free an animal is an on-scene call and officers should look for signs of distress before doing so. “We want to see those signs of despair and if there’s an issue, an emergency reason to knock a window out.” As sensible as this policy sounds, officers are not trained in veterinary medicine; the early stages of heatstroke or hyperthermia in dogs — left in vehicles more frequently than any other species — are difficult, if not impossible, to diagnose on sight through a car window. Just a quick check on petMD (“vet authored, vet approved”) reveals that the signs of heatstroke in dogs include panting, excessive drooling, rapid heart rate, dehydration and reddening of the gums — none of which may be readily apparent to a casual observer. By the time there are more obvious symptoms, such as vomiting or defecating blood, unconsciousness or seizures, it’s often too late. Coastal Veterinary Hospital veterinarian Heather Avery said that once a dog collapses from heat stroke, the prognosis is generally bleak.

“We don’t have a lot of good laws enforcing animal care in this area … it’s frustrating,” Dr. Avery said. Claire Goforth mail@folioweekly.com

LOCAL COLOR FOLIO WEEKLY COVER ARTIST

MAY 2015

MAC TRUQUE JACKSONVILLE-BASED MULTIPLE MEDIA ARTIST MAC TRUQUE is no stranger to those who follow the arts in the 904. His current gallery exhibition, “It’s A Shame About Ray Johnson,” graces the lobby of 1200 Riverplace Boulevard and features selections from his summer painting catalog, available this July. Mac’s eclectic and diverse style has been part of the local arts scene since 1999. Classically trained by a primary mentor, the home-schooled native perpetually explores new mediums. Art enthusiasts find that his style is easy to identify despite a wide range of repeating themes. The prolific artist is thrilled by providing a subtle narrative that chronicles his inspiration and curiosity, as if he were a storyteller whose tale is mapped by a breadcrumb trail of widely collected works.

BRICKBATS & BOUQUETS BRICKBATS TO MARCO RUBIO Far be it from us to criticize those who struggle with personal finances, but a fiscally conservative Republican acting financially irresponsible in our very own state … we can’t resist. Last week, a Washington Post article revealed perennially cash-strapped, ex-Florida-senator-turned-presidentialcandidate Marco Rubio – who, to date, has accumulated an estimated $1,000,000 from his book American Dream, earned nearly $250,000 last year, and has an estimated income placing him in the top 5 percent of American households – made what experts call a “desperate financial maneuver,” cashing out $70,000 in retirement funds. Folio Weekly staffers who were around in the ’80s floated a few theories regarding what a Miami resident might be blowing his money on. Sniff. BOUQUETS TO HANNAH HOFFMAN, GINA BENALCAZAR, MATHEUS COURA, KERRA SIMMONS, DANIEL DICKINSON, AND JOSE ROJAS for being awarded the senior Outstanding Musician Award from the University of North Florida’s Jazz Department. The awards are given to great performers who are also great scholars and contributors to the jazz program. The faculty nominates and votes on the winners who are the most well-rounded students of the program. Sweet sounds abound. BRICKBATS TO SEAN CHRISTOPHER ORR Last week, the former head of Baptist Health’s neurology department who was accused of ordering unnecessary tests, prescribing unwarranted medications, fraudulently billing federal health programs, and falsely diagnosing patients with serious mental illnesses like multiple sclerosis, settled a lawsuit filed against him by the U.S. Treasury Department. BOUQUETS TO SUSAN COOPER EASTMAN Folio Weekly’s contributing writer has been nominated for two Association for Alternative News Media awards. Eastman’s investigative report about the death of Daniel Linsinbigler and her story about police involvement in the Atlantic Beach neighborhood of Black Pine are both up for prizes in investigative journalism and long form journalism, respectively. Her stories are among some 900 entries submitted by more than 71 national publications.

KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A PROVERBIAL BRICKBAT? Send your submissions to mail@folioweekly.com. Submissions should be a maxium of 50 words and directed toward a person, place, or topic of local interest. MAY 27-JUNE 2, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7

FIGHTIN’ WORDS

WHAT I GOT WRONG

Following up on pre-election prognostications

n the wake of last Tuesday’s bloodbath, in which the Republicans won six of eight races, I felt it would be a good exercise in humility to go through my election preview and see what I got right and, more important, what I got wrong. The Mayor’s race is a good place to start. Here’s what I wrote last week: Will the Get Out the Vote (GOTV) operation, both the local volunteers and the paid imported canvassers, make the difference? Looking at financial reports, the Brown camp seems to have a lot more overhead than the Curry crew. And the Curry fundraising looks stronger. With that overhead, is there real accountability on the Brown side? The quotes from operatives for the loser will be particularly interesting, especially if Curry confounds his haters and pulls this thing out.

Well, Curry pulled it out. The Dems went into damage control mode as soon as Souls to the Polls was over. A memo from the state party complained they were outspent. The quotes from the losers’ operatives? Not so interesting. Maybe they saved them for the flight attendants on the planes out of town. The sheriff ’s race — and the other highly contested races — went the GOP’s way. Robin Lumb, who got so much flak for locking down the Curry endorsement at the Republican Executive Committee meeting in January, looks like a genius. His Democratic counterpart, Neil Henrichsen, lost the mayor’s office and ceded a staunch Republican majority on Council. Welcome to the next eight years. If Curry could win when he had to spend a year building name recognition, he’s not going to lose to some retread councilperson. Maybe they can get Lori Boyer to switch parties? My reads on certain Council races were flawed. A good example: At-Large Group 5, in which I crowned Ju’Coby Pittman over Sam Newby, who raised $8K against Pittman, a community leader with strong institutional ties. Newby pulled it out. Newby credits Robin Lumb for the upset. He told me on Thursday that he’s a “social and fiscal conservative.” The bigger story, to me: He’s the first black Republican to win citywide. Newby has been a player in the local GOP for years, having switched parties a decade ago. You’re not going to like him on the HRO. But he is sincere about his beliefs, a man of faith. Reggie Gaffney is not an official Republican, but I was still wrong about him. George Spencer is as smooth as Parkay, and just as exciting. When Gaffney ended one of the race’s last debates with a request for the removal of Satan from the room, I figured that was it for him. Reggie’s having the last laugh. So is his brother Johnny, who got nothing but grief for endorsing Curry and saying Mayor Brown made him vote against the HRO

AG Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com twitter/AGGancarski

8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MAY 27-JUNE 2, 2015

in 2012. The Gaffneys are set for a few more years, and they scored a pyrrhic victory against Corrine and her Quick Picks. I was also wrong about another Council race. I like Lisa King a lot. She’s exactly the kind of person media wants on the council. Knowledgeable and a great quote. Al Ferraro? He’s a very nice man who’s microphone-shy and doesn’t really know how to work the press. But people in District 2 vote partyline Republican and like him as a person. He knocked on doors and, though he didn’t make an impression on the media, he clearly made a strong case with the voters. Those were my big errors. I blame myself for making them. And I know why I erred: the media bubble. We have a bias. We like each other, microbrews, the urban core, indie music, locally grown vegetables, and what we see as authenticity. The voters? Most of them are older than 40, with mortgages and kids and things they want to protect. Stolid people with stolid jobs, riskaverse in their internal calculus and willing to vote for the person who will keep them safe. This new Council is going to be, on the whole, more diverse and less willing to legislate its religious values. The vast majority of the members were endorsed by the Jax Chamber. What this means for activist types: Get in good with your friends at the Chamber. National style progressivism is a dead letter in Jacksonville for the time being, as the flop of the leftish messaging of Brown’s final campaign days underscored. This means that those who are interested in the HRO and other issues need to find a way to have meaningful dialogues with the gatekeepers. Alvin Brown was an anomaly, and he governed like he knew it. More than likely, Lenny Curry and a Republican Council are here for eight years. It might be a good idea for those who want to be agents of change to have a conversation with them, find shared priorities, and move forward through the inevitable, tedious process of negotiation rather than excoriation.

STATE of the ARTS

OFFENSE SITTERS

Descrambling the populist reaction to edgy art is a debate that’s rarely over easy

Tyl Ty y er yl er Sh Sh eld Shi ld ds, s “Po “P P lice lic i e Bru rrut uttaaliliity” u ity ty ty”

hey say you can’t make an omelet without breaking some eggs and, while a latenight nosh at the JTB Waffle House might prove that wrong, it’s the kind of adage that’s generally accepted because it makes general sense to the general public. When it comes to art, that particular platitude also has the benefit of being historically accurate, metaphorically speaking, since egg goo was used to make artists’ tempera paints in ye olde days of yore, before kindergartners claimed them as their chosen medium. These days, nobody seems to care as much about the composition of an artist’s media as they do about the content of an artist’s work. Where once the paints and solvents were the sticky and dangerous stuff, in the kinder, gentler 21st century, it’s the themes and images that can lead to a harmful level of toxicity. This week, noted photographer and 904 expatriate artist Tyler Shields blew up the Internet when his recent work examining race relations in right-now ’Merica got picked up and shared by TMZ. The central image, a stunning black-and-white photo of a naked black man lynching a white-hooded klansman, was enough to ignite the zeitgeist of social media and make something of a wave. But it was Shields’ ancillary pieces — in which white, riot-geared police are victimized, their own tactics used against them by black civilians — that gave the images’ right-on-time message such a powerful voice. Shields’ images emphasize the heat that’s been burning its way from the doorsteps of Staten Island to the Gate parking lot on the corner of Southside and Baymeadows. In other words, just the kind of bile-flinging sideshow that bottom-feeders like TMZ have perfected. Predictably, the related conversations that ensued were flaming, emotional and hateful, just like the scenes on the streets of Baltimore and Ferguson. Last week, Folio Weekly columnist AG Gancarski paralleled things further, positing that the streets of Jacksonville might be overripe for the same kind of unrest that Baltimore just experienced. We’ll see how our community — and our newly elected and pathetically inexperienced mayor and sheriff — reacts as the details of the D’Angelo Stallworth shooting come to light. In that regard, it seems like more than kismet that the forceful, inflammatory, thoughtful and in-your-face photographs of a former NEFL artist are pushing their way into the public consciousness. What role, then, might an exhibition of Shields’ photography play in the 904 right about now? Is there a space or curator

here willing to risk the kind of controversy such a show might (read: absolutely would) reap? Sure, valuable and vocal arts and community leaders like Hope McMath, Chevara Orrin, and, of course, Al Letson do an amazing job of making sure we never forget that #blacklivesmatter, but it wasn’t too long ago that Lee Harvey’s “Blacksonville” exhibit stirred the stink pretty good. Less than a year ago, a photo of a woman’s nipples caused a half-hearted tingling in an overwrought citycouncil-president-who-shall-remain-nameless’ naught bits and nearly set us back decades. And just a couple of weeks ago, in the wake of the Muhammad cartoon gallery shooting in Texas, plenty of locals played the “don’t make waves of negativity” and “proper decorum” cards. Tyler Shields, and plenty of other talented artists of all genres, have moved from NEFL to pastures much greener for artists, finding success only after adopting a new ZIP code. His work is controversial by provincial local standards, but by no means is it cut from the cloth of the Shock Art school. In fact, in Los Angeles, where Shields is now based — a city quite familiar with the consequences of a palpable, constantly ticking level of racial tension, FWIW — it’s unlikely his photography would be considered any big deal in terms of “appropriateness of content.” We live in a time obsessed with pandering to the broadest spectrum and impressing the least common denominator. (Yes, I’m talking about you, Twitter.) That means not making waves or ruffling feathers, and especially not seeming like you’re trying too hard or caring too much. It’s no wonder that, to take a cue from national arts guru Jerry Saltz, even the work of abstract expressionists — once considered the edgiest and most outrageous of artists — has begun to drop like mud into a self-referential drool of safe uniformity and couch-matching “marketability.” In 21st-century ’Merica, and most poignantly in NEFL, the act of being offensive is what is taken offense with, before even approaching the quality or content in question. Where does that leave the artists, the painters, the poets, the actors and dancers and musicians who hold up a mirror to our culture, to our community, to us, and ask the hard questions, make the tough observations, tell the unvarnished truths? More often than not, it leaves them on a hot stretch of NEFL asphalt on their way to Atlanta, Miami, or any of the major metro areas that invest in and listen to artists, wondering who’s eating a shitty Waffle House omelet in the 904. Chaz Bäck cback@folioweekly.com

MAY 27-JUNE 2, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9

NEWS

IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE? Gov. Scott plays politics with the health of FLORIDA’S UNINSURED

eeks of Gov. Rick Scott’s political posturing have left an estimated 800,000 Floridians without health insurance and very nearly brought UF Health Jacksonville and other facilities that serve the poor to the brink of shuttering altogether. U.S. Rep. Corrine Brown (D-Jacksonville) stood on the steps of UF Health Jacksonville with CEO Russ Armistead and state Democratic legislators last week to say she would not allow Gov. Scott’s wrangling with the Obama Administration over Medicaid expansion put the hospital out of business. Scott and House Republicans refuse to take more than 50 billion federal dollars to expand the state’s Medicaid program. But the governor wants federal dollars to prop up an indigent healthcare system that expanded Medicaid would replace. Since 2005, when Jeb Bush was governor and his brother was president, the federal government has provided about

$1 to $2 billion a year to hospitals, community health centers and county health departments that provide care to the poor. The program, known as the Low Income Pool (LIP), is funded by federal and state dollars. The LIP was always intended as a temporary allotment. Originally, it was offered to assist those facilities in making the transition from a fee-for-service model or healthcare to managed care. It was to expire in 2014, but last year the Obama Administration extended the program to June 30, 2015. Gov. Scott knew that. Instead of giving the healthcare providers money to provide care, the Obama Administration’s plan would expand who’s covered by Medicaid to include more low-income people. Patients would receive healthcare from these same providers, but the health facility would be reimbursed through Medicaid. With more people enrolled — the federal government estimates 800,000 Floridians would qualify for health insurance through an expanded Medicaid — and the revenues of hospitals like UF Health Jacksonville would increase. But expanding Medicaid would be endorsing Obamacare, and Gov. Scott and the House Republicans have too much political hay to make out of opposing it. “I like the program we have right now,” Gov. Scott, former CEO of a for-profit hospital chain, said to reporters in April. Although Scott knew that LIP was temporary and scheduled to expire, he recast the conflict into a framework that serves the anti-Obamacare crowd: The federal government is abandoning healthcare for the poor. Scott asked how the state could trust the federal government to fund Medicaid expansion as it has promised if it cut the LIP

program. He described Obama as walking away from low-income families. And he filed a lawsuit saying that the federal government was strong-arming Florida to accept expanded Medicaid by threatening to cut off the LIP dollars. In the lawsuit, he says, the Obama Administration’s tactics violate a 2012 Supreme Court ruling that allows each state to decide if it wants to expand Medicaid or not. According to the liberal think tank Center on Budget & Policy Priorities, the 2012 Supreme Court ruling requires the federal government to continue funding the current Medicaid program, but doesn’t require funding programs that serve the people who would be covered by expanding Medicaid. The conflict with the federal government over expanding Medicaid divided the state legislature, with the Senate wanting to expand it and the House opposing it. The loss of more than $2.1 billion in LIP money left the state with a hole in the budget because the state would have to make up the difference to keep funding the healthcare facilities that serve the poor. In response, Scott formed a hospital commission. Governors usually convene such commissions to tackle burgeoning problems, like how to provide healthcare to the 800,000 Floridians without adequate care. But the mission of Scott’s panel is to examine the finances of hospitals, like UF Health Jacksonville, that serve the poor to figure out why they’re so dependent on tax dollars. The panel comprises Republican donors and business leaders, most of whom echo Scott’s arch-conservative politics, with no representation from the healthcare industry. “It is appalling that President Obama would cut off federal healthcare dollars to the poor to force our state further into Obamacare,” Scott declared in a statement released last week. Under pressure from hospitals like UF Health Jacksonville — which serves a large portion of the city’s uninsured and receives $95 million in LIP dollars per year — which warned the governor it would close if it did not receive federal money, Scott turned the tables on the hospitals by floating a profitsharing plan that would make healthcare facilities more like Major League Baseball. Congresswoman Brown didn’t agree with Scott’s assessment. During the May 18 press conference held at UF Health Jacksonville, Brown admonished Scott, calling the governor a “bully” before promising the hospital would not close. On Thursday, May 21, the Obama Administration announced it would extend the LIP money, at a reduced rate of about half what it has been paying, for another two years. But unless Florida expands Medicaid, it will again face the same shortfall. According to CEO Armistead, without LIP funds, the hospital has only six months of operating revenue. The two-year extension of LIP funds will support providers like UF Health Jacksonville as they make the transition to expanded Medicaid. It also likely means two more years of grandstanding. Susan Cooper Eastman sceastman@folioweekly.com

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Even if you’re on your last dime, we’ve got plenty of suggestions of Northeast Florida hotspots where you can chow down and imbibe without breaking the bank.

Passions run hot in the summertime, so we have plenty of suggestions for turning up the heat with low-to-no-cost ways to get inspired and creative.

When the days get long and nights get warm, spending time with nature makes perfect sense. We’ll help you blaze a cost-effective trail to fun this summer.

EAT & DRINK ON A DIME

ART ON THE CHEAP

GO GREEN FOR NO GREEN

Photos by Dennis Ho ||| Original Artwork by Mac Truque

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KAYAK AMELIA Guided kayak nature tours, Segway tours, bike rentals, specialty tours or SUP paddles are held daily, leaving from various locations; pricing varies per activity. Kayak Amelia also offers rentals, yoga and SUP, paddling instruction, overnight kayak trips, multi-day trips and kids summer camp. Open 9 a.m.-5 p.m. daily at 13030 Heckscher Dr., Jacksonville, 251-0016, 261-5702, kayakamelia.com. THE PAINTINGS OF MARGARET BILLESIMO The Paintings of Margaret Billesimo featuring oils, watercolors, and mixed media, is on display through June at Jewish Community Alliance’s Vandroff Art Gallery, 8505 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 730-2100.

ONGOING THROUGH OUR EYES The exhibit Through Our Eyes 2015:

Wouldn’t Take Nothing for My Journey (An Artistic Revolution), featuring works of 20 local African-American artists, is on display through July 28 at The Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 632-5555.

WHITFIELD LOVELL: DEEP RIVER Inspired by the legacy of African Americans who fled from slavery by crossing the Tennessee River to freedom during the Civil War, the exhibit Whitfield Lovell: Deep River uses sculpture, video, drawing, sound, and music to take the audience on a symbolic journey in search of independence. The exhibit is on display through Sept. 13 at the Cummer Museum Of Art & Gardens, 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org.

DAYDREAMS FROM BROOKLYN Caitlin Hurd’s exhibit, Daydreams from Brooklyn, featuring large-scale canvases of her dreamlike visions, is on display through June at Florida Mining Gallery, 5300 Shad Rd., Southside, 535-7252. FREE STEAMSHIP MAPLE LEAF, 150th ANNIVERSARY EXHIBIT Rare Civil War artifacts are on display through December; open from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Sat., Mandarin Museum, Walter Jones Historical Park, 11964 Mandarin Rd., free, 268-0784, mandarinmuseum.net.

SOUTHERN EXPOSURE: PORTRAITS OF A CHANGING LANDSCAPE The exhibit Southern Exposure: Portraits of a Changing Landscape, featuring works of seven photographers exploring our memories in relation to the Southern landscape, is on display through Aug. 30 at Museum Of Contemporary Art Jacksonville, 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 366-6911, mocajacksonville.com.

FUN ON THE FARM The Florida Agricultural Museum, a private nonprofit, presents a family farm experience, featuring hiking trails, guided tours, horseback riding and more, 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Wed.-Sun., all summer long at 7900 Old Kings Rd., Palm Coast, $9 for adults, $7 for kids 6-12, free for ages 5 and younger, 386-446-7630, myagmuseum.com.

RIVER CRUISE TOURS Amelia River Cruises offers eco-shrimping, family friendly sunset, beach creek, and Cumberland Island tours throughout the summer from 1 N. Front St., Fernandina Beach, prices vary per tour, 261-9972, ameliarivercruises.com.

FREE DAILY EVENTS AT HEMMING PARK Hemming Park offers free yoga, group fitness and live music, across from City Hall, 117 W. Duval St., Downtown; for schedule, go to hemmingpark.org/hemming-park-events.

MAY

MAY 27

TRIVIA NIGHTS European Street Café hosts trivia nights at 5500 Beach Blvd., Southside, 398-1717, and at 992 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 249-3001, drink specials, call for details, europeanstreet.com.

FREE FRANKIE BALLARD This country music upstart performs today at 7 p.m. at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 353-1188. LATITUDE LAUGHS Comedians perform Wed., Fri. and Sat. nights at Latitude 360, 10370 Philips Highway, Southside, 365-5555, latthirty.com.

CEAM JURIED ALUMNI EXHIBITION This juried show, featuring works by 28 alumni from Flagler College’s department of art and design, is on display through June 19 at Crisp-Ellert Art Museum, 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530.

FREE MUSIC BY THE SEA Live music by Phoenix, with dinner available from La Strada, 6 p.m. food service, concert at 7 p.m. at St. Augustine Beach Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, free, 347-8007, thecivicassociation.org.

GUIDED WALKING TOURS In partnership with the Florida State Park Service, EcoMotion Tours provides tours of Kingsley Plantation. Meet at the plantation, Fort George Island State Park, 11676 Palmetto Ave., off A1A and Heckscher Drive. For reservations, times, fees and details, call 251-9477, ecomotiontours.com.

MAY 28

FREE BLUE STAR MUSEUM GTM Research Reserve joins this collaboration among National Endowment for the Arts, Blue Star Families, Department of Defense and more than 2,000 museums nationwide to offer free admission to the Environmental Education Center’s Exhibit Hall for active duty military personnel and their families, through Labor Day. 505 Guana River Rd., Ponte Vedra, 823-4500, arts.gov/national/ blue-star-museums#!FL.

VEIL of MAYA, REVOCATION, OCEANO, GIFT GIVER, ENTHEOS Chicago-based deathcore sweethearts perform at 6 p.m. at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, 353-6067, $15 advance; $18 day of. FRICTION FARM, CHARLIE ROBERTSON Modern-day folk duo performs with folkie opener at 7:30 p.m. at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., San Marco, 352-7008, $10. MARLON WAYANS Funnyman Wayans, who co-wrote and

Listen to regionally and nationally known artists, indie bands, and local talent (for free) on the Riverside Arts Market’s River Stage. Every Saturday, 10 a.m.-4 p.m.

THE 25th ANNUAL PUTNAM COUNTY SPELLING BEE Alhambra Theatre & Dining presents the musical comedy, about teens competing in the spelling championship of a lifetime, through June 14. Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menu is featured; at 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 641-1212, $35-$55, alhambrajax.com. AMELIA RIVER CRUISES Adult Twilight BYOB Cruises are held every Thur., Fri. and Sat., featuring live music, from Amelia River Cruises, 1 N. Front St., Fernandina Beach, 261-9972; for fees and details, go to ameliarivercruises.com.

starred in the popular Scary Movie series, performs at 8 p.m. tonight, 8 and 10 p.m. May 29 and 30 and 7 p.m. May 31 at the Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, $30-$35, 292-4242, comedyzone.com. FREE ADMISSION THURSDAY & TOURS FIS and Fidelity National Financial sponsor free admission to the Museum of Contemporary Art Jacksonville, 5-9 p.m. today and every Thur. throughout 2015. Join MOCA educators any Thursday at 7 p.m. for a 45-minute tour of the exhibitions at MOCA, 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 366-6911, mocajacksonville.org.

MAY 29

FLYING FISH JET SKI TOURS Flying Fish Adventures offers one-hour, two-hour or three-hour tours on jet skis, starting at 1 S. Front St., Fernandina Beach. Call for fees and details, 583-3420, flyingfishfun.com.

BROTHER HAWK, BIG JESUS Atlanta, Georgia-based bluesrockers Brother Hawk perform at 8 p.m. at 1904 Music Hall, 19 N. Ocean St., Downtown, $8.

SUMMER ART CAMPS The St. Augustine Art Association offers five sessions starting in June for kids in grades 1-6 and ages 12 and older. For more info, go to staaa.org.

GREATER JACKSONVILLE COIN CLUB SHOW The annual coin and more event flips the Morocco Shrine Auditorium today and May 30 and 31 at 3800 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Southside, 315-0349, gjcc.anaclubs.org.

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From light-saber giveaways to leprechaun wrestling championships (you read that right), Jacksonville Suns’ home games offer reasonably-priced entertainment for the whole family. FREE MOONLIGHT MOVIES The 14th annual free Moonlight Movies series wraps up with family-friendly hit X-Men at 9 p.m. at SeaWalk Pavilion, Jax Beach. Bring a lawn chair or blanket and a picnic; popcorn, candy and beverages are available. No alcohol, skateboards, bicycles, glass or animals (except qualified service animals). jacksonvillebeach.org. TROPIC OF CANCER Local instrumental faves perform their signature “New World Lounge” music at 10 p.m. at rain dogs, 1045 Park St., Riverside, 379-4969. DEAD WINTER CARPENTERS Alt-country heads bring their honky tonkin’ tunes at 10 p.m. at Mojo Kitchen, 1500 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 247-6636, $12. JOHN RATHBONE Rathbone, who’s been on Showtime, A&E, and The Comedy Channel, appears at 8:04 and 10:10 p.m. tonight and May 30 at Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., $10-$15, 646-4277, jacksonvillecomedy.com. SLIDE-A-THON The fifth annual event, to benefit American Red Cross Volunteer Lifesaving Corps, is held 6 p.m. at Adventure Landing, 1944 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 246-4386, adventurelanding.com. Contestants must be 18 years or older and at least 42 inches tall. Entry fee is $10.

MAY 30

SUPER GROM SURF FEST I 2015 Young surfers, ages 10 and younger, learn to surf with the best surfers at the beach at 9 a.m. today and June 27 and July 25, south of Jax Beach Pier at 503 First St. N., $10, 626-9090, floridasurfing.org. FINFEST RETURN TO THE RIVER The Jacksonville Speech & Hearing Center is throwing a party for a purpose at 7 p.m. at Timuquana Country Club, 40278 Timuquana Rd., Jacksonville. Food, beverages, a live and silent auction and music by Henry & the Seahawks are featured. Tickets are $100; proceeds benefit JSHC programs; 355-3403, shcjax.org. Rock for Kyle’s Kidney Benefit Concert: ALLELE, HEART SHAPED BOX (Nirvana tribute), MELISSA SMITH, BRAIDED SUN, CHASING NOLA Rock out for a cause as local bands raise funds at 7 p.m. at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $10.

(Bellybuster Monday) and June 2 (Folio Weekly 50-Cent Family Feast Night), 1:05 p.m. June 3 (Businessperson’s Special), 7:05 p.m. June 4 (Thursday Night Throwdown, Rounds at the Grounds, College ID Discount), and 7:05 p.m. June 5 (Fireworks, Dale Murphy Appearance, Hurricane Preparedness Night). All the action is at Bragan Field, Baseball Grounds, 301 Randolph Blvd., Downtown. Tickets $7.50-$25.50; 358-2846, jaxsuns.com.

JUNE 2

BRIT FLOYD“By the way – which one’s Pink?” The Pink Floyd tribute act performs at 8 p.m. at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $39.50-$69.50.

BARNYARD STOMPERS, LAUREL LEE & the ESCAPEES Roots rock maniacs perform with the Oldest City’s honky tonk heroes at 9 p.m. at Planet Sarbez!, 115 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 342-0632, $5.

FREE TUESDAY SERENADE Violist MinYoung Cho and pianist EunMi Lee perform at 7 p.m. at Main Library’s Hicks Auditorium, 303 N. Laura St., Downtown, 630-2353, jplmusic.blogspot.com.

OLD CITY FARMERS MARKET Produce vendors and arts & crafts artisans set up from 8:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. today and every Sat. at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., free admission.

TAPA THAT PRESENTS “THE GALA” This event, featuring bottomless wine tastings, charcuterie, and paintings by Jody Miller, Kyle Willis, Toni Bravo, Minda Bachelor, and Dan Farrel, is held 6-9 p.m. at Tapa That, 820 Lomax St., Riverside, $25; suggested formal to semi-formal attire, 376-9911.

JOSH GRACIN This young country artist and former American Idol contestant performs at 6 p.m. at Mavericks at The Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 356-1110, $15. UPTOWN SATURDAY NIGHT The self-guided tour features galleries, antique stores and shops open 5-9 p.m. every last Sat. in St. Augustine’s San Marco District, 824-3152. ULTIMATE FRISBEE The Jacksonville Cannons, a new professional ultimate Frisbee team, tosses the disc against the Raleigh Flyers at 6 p.m. at Trinity Christian Academy, 800 Hammond Blvd., Northside; single game tickets are $10, jaxcannons.com. JACKSONVILLE ARMADA VS. CAROLINA RAILHAWKS Local football faves (that’s “soccer” to you, Bubba!) Jacksonville Armada take on the Carolina Railhawks at 7:30 p.m. at the Baseball Grounds, 301 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., Downtown, $15-$70, 633-6100, ticketmaster.com.

MAY 31

DARREN CORLEW Local solo artist performs at 8:30 p.m. at Flying Iguana, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680. THE PSYCHEDELIC FURS, THE DOG APOLLO “Love My Way” New Wave legends play at 7 p.m. at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, $39.50-$49.50. AARON BING WITH JON B Award-winning saxophonist (and Jacksonville native) Bing performs with opening act, multiinstrumentalist-vocalist Jon B at 7 p.m. at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Terry Theater, 300 Water St., Downtown, 633-6110, $40; $77.30 VIP, ticketmaster.com. SPRING MUSIC REVIVAL The second annual event, featuring Nina Renae, Angelica Christina, The Picus Dance Academy, is 3 p.m. at The Ritz Theatre, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, $10, melodyandharmonymusic.org.

JUNE JUNE 1

FREE HOT POTATO COMEDY HOUR Emcee Chris Buck presents local comics at 9 p.m. every Mon. at rain dogs, 1045 Park St., Riverside, free, 379-4969. JACKSONVILLE SUNS The Suns kick off a homestand against the Montgomery Biscuits at 7:05 p.m. tonight

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JUNE 3

FIRST WEDNESDAY ART WALK The downtown art walk, held 5-9 p.m. every first Wed., features more than 13 live music venues, more than 13 hotspots open after 9 p.m. and 50 total participating venues, spanning 15 blocks in Downtown Jacksonville. iloveartwalk.com. FREE MUSIC BY THE SEA Live music by Steam, with dinner available from Amici, 6 p.m. food service, concert at 7 p.m. at St. Augustine Beach Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, free, 347-8007, thecivicassociation.org.

JUNE 4

JACKSONVILLE FOODFIGHT The 25th annual Foodfight is held 6:30 p.m. at EverBank Field’s Touchdown Club East, 1 EverBank Field Dr., Downtown. Food and drink from area restaurants and beverage wholesalers/ retailers are featured, along with live music and raffles. Proceeds benefit Lutheran Social Services of Northeast Florida. Advance tickets are $60; $50 for Young Professionals younger than 30; $100 VIP. 730-8239, 448-5995, jacksonvillefoodfight.org THE FUNERAL PORTRAIT, JUST LIKE GENTLEMEN, FOREVERATLAST, PERSONALITIES, SEARCHING SERENITY Atlanta heavy rockers The Funeral Portrait play at 7 p.m. at 1904 Music Hall, 19 N. Ocean St., Downtown, $10 advance; $13 day of. PLANT PEST WORKSHOP Pests and diseases of concern to potato and cole growers are discussed 10 a.m.-3:15 p.m. at St. Johns County Agricultural Center, 3125 Agricultural Center Dr., St. Augustine, $10, eventbrite.com/e/potatoand-cole-crop-growers-first-detector-training-workshoptickets-16865938476. CANARY IN THE COALMINE These local Americana faves play at 7 p.m. at Museum of Contemporary Art Jacksonville, 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 366-6911, mocajacksonville.com. TOM GREEN Funnyman Green, who first began annoying audiences with his MTV talk show and appearances in films including Road Trip and Freddy Got Fingered, performs at 8 p.m. tonight and 8 and 10 p.m. June 5 and 6 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, $20-$25, 292-4242, comedyzone.com.

JUNE 5

NEVER QUIT The packet pickup and expo for this annual athletic event, which includes a 5K and Trident race, 1 mile fun run, jump and skydiving demonstration, sunrise yoga, Warrior Challenge and Jr. Warrior Challenge, and Battle for the Beach, is held today at Sea Walk Pavilion, First Street North, Jax Beach. For a schedule and registration, go to neverquit.com. The competition events start June 6 at Sea Walk Pavilion. WHOLE WHEAT BREAD The local punk legends play at 10 p.m. at The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611. BIG SMO The country rap artist performs at 6 p.m. at Mavericks at The Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 356-1110, $15. OSAGE: AUGUST COUNTY Players by the Sea stages Tracy Letts’ Pulitzer Prize and Tony Award-winning comical play, about three grown daughters who return to their home on the Oklahoma plains, at 8 p.m. tonight. The play runs through June 20 at 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach, 249-0289, $23; $20 for seniors, military, and students, playersbythesea.org. BLUEPRINT, DJ RARE GROOVE, SUPASTITION, TOUGH JUNKIE, STEAM MECHANICS This night of progressive hip hop kicks off at 9 p.m. at rain dogs, 1045 Park St., Riverside, 379-4969, $10. COSMIC CONCERTS Laser shows include Laser Beach Boys 7 p.m., Laser Vinyl 8 p.m., Laser Queen 9 p.m. and Laser ‘The Wall’ at 10 p.m. in Bryan-Gooding Planetarium, Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank; online tickets $5, 396-7062, moshplanetarium.org. RENDEZVOUS FILM FESTIVAL The nine-day event features 200-plus films in categories of feature film, animated, and documentary, 30-plus music videos, a gaming expo, and live music June 5-13 at various venues in Fernandina Beach. For a schedule, go to rendezvousfestival.org. PETER RUMPEL EXHIBITION The opening reception for new works by Rumpel, who works in sculpture, painting, and computer art, is held from 5-9 p.m. at Butterfield Art Garage, 137 King St., St. Augustine, 825-4577; the exhibit runs through June.

JUNE 6

BEACH CLEAN-UP Keepers of the Coast needs volunteers for the sixth annual Summer Daze Beach Clean-Up on the north side of Jax Beach Pier, 503 First St. N., Jax Beach. Everyone gets a bag for trash, a bag for recycling and a bag for cigarette butts. The volunteer to collect the most cigarette butts wins Volcom prizes. 707-7531, keepersofthecoast.org. UNION GARRISON EVENT Historians re-enact life in the fort as it was in 1864. Soldiers in period dress perform in firing demonstrations, marching drills, cooking and daily activities. Ladies promenade in Civil War-era dresses, sutlers display their wares and drummer boys … well, drum. Union Garrison event 9 a.m.-5 p.m. today, 9 a.m.-noon June 7, Fort Clinch State Park, 2601 Atlantic Ave., Fernandina Beach. Park entrance fee: $6 per vehicle; $2 per person Fort admission; 277-7274, floridastateparks.org

The Backyard Barbecue: GUANTANAMO BAYWATCH, THE DELUSIONAIRES, SANDRATZ, NUTRITIONAL BEAST, MENTAL PATIENTS This day of garage rock freaks and barbecue kicks off at 5 p.m. at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 209-0367, $8 advance; $10 day of (SRO).

DRAKE’S RAID The 28th annual historical re-enactment of Sir Francis Drake’s Raid in 1586 on St. Augustine is presented throughout the city of St. Augustine, 829-9792, drakesraid.com. NORTH FLORIDA LAND TRUST FISH FRY & OPEN HOUSE NFLT holds its fourth annual fish fry 3 p.m. at Talbot Island House, 12134 Houston Ave., Big Talbot Island. A nature hike, sunset paddle, lawn games, live music by Cain’t Never Could and Hard 2 Handle and food from Treemendous BBQ ($15 a plate) and $2 local beers are featured. eventbrite.com, northfloridalandtrust.org. THE BUSINESS The UK punk rock legends play at 8 p.m. at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, $12. KIM WATERS The smooth jazz saxophone colossus is on at 8 p.m. at The Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 632-5555, $34. GUIDED CULTURAL HIKE GTMRR offers a hike 8:30-10:30 a.m.; meet at Trailhead Pavilion, west of Guana Dam, 505 Guana River Rd., Ponte Vedra. Wear closed-toe shoes. $3 parking fee, 823-4500. JACKSONVILLE SHARKS vs. ORLANDO PREDATORS Pirates & Princesses themed night; game starts at 7 p.m. at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., Downtown, $12-$133, 621-0700, jaxsharks.com. RUSTY SHINE These local rockers play at 10 p.m. at The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611. SPRINGFIELD TOUR OF HOMES The 37th annual Historic Springfield Tour of Homes, a self-guided tour of eight homes in the district, is noon-5 p.m. today and June 7. Advance tickets purchased before June 1 are $12; $15 after. For more information and to purchase tickets, go to sparcouncil.org. FREE WILD WONDERS’ ANIMAL ADVENTURES FOR KIDS This kid-geared nature event features fun, informative stories and hands-on time with 17 mammals and reptiles at 11 a.m. at Dutton Island Preserve Pavilion, 2001 Dutton Island Dr., Atlantic Beach, 247-5828, coab.us/events.

JUNE 7

THIRD EYE BLIND, DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL, AUGUSTANA This night of ’90s alt-rock hunk music starts at 5 p.m. at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 2090367, $22.50-$49.50 ALLEN STONE, BRYNN ELLIOT Neo-folkie Stone performs at 7 p.m. at Colonial Quarter, 33 St. George St., St. Augustine, 342-2857, $25 (SRO). A VISION AWAKENING Based on a year of direct engagement in the Cummer Gardens and research into Ninah Cummer’s writings, Lee Hunter, Charlotte Mabrey, Philip Pan, Barbara Colaciello, Kevin Bodge, Lis Williamson, Lon Williamson and Gabe Valla combine original music with spoken word for the album release performance of “A Vision Awakening: A Celebration of the Cummer Gardens and the St. Johns River,” at 2 p.m. at the Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, $25; $15 for members, cummermuseum.org. JACKSONVILLE ARMADA VS. OTTAWA FURY Local football faves the Jacksonville Armada take on the Ottawa Fury at 4 p.m. at the Baseball Grounds, 301 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., Downtown, $20-$60, 633-6100, ticketmaster.com. FREE 5K FAMILY FUN RUN The Jewish Community Alliance presents this free family 5K run, featuring

giveaways and prizes for all participants, from 8-11 a.m. at the 16th Avenue South public access, Jax Beach, 730-2100, registration is requested by June 4; first 50 registrants receive free T-shirt, jcajax.org.

JUNE 9

TEDXJACKSONVILLE TUESDAY Ted Powell, Parvez Ahmed, and Chevara Orrin are featured in the TED talk topic, “Race, Laws, Religion, Politics … Are We Polarizing?,” at 6 p.m. at the Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, reservations required, cummermuseum.org. JAX BEACH ART WALK More than 30 local artists display works, 5-9 p.m. every second Tue., along First Street between Beach Boulevard and Fifth Avenue North, Jax Beach, betterjaxbeach.com/jax-beach-art-walk.html. SIXTH ANNUAL CHILDREN’S ART SHOW Children’s Art Classes holds its annual children’s art show, featuring more than 300 works by local children, from 6-8 p.m. at 11250 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. A109, Mandarin, childrensartclasses.com.

JUNE 10

I THE MIGHTY, HAIL THE SUN, TOO CLOSE TO TOUCH Progindie band I the Mighty plays at 6:30 p.m. at 1904 Music Hall, 19 N. Ocean St., Downtown, $10. FREE MUSIC BY THE SEA Live music by JW Gilmore & the Blues Authority, with dinner available from By Design Catering, 6 p.m. food service, concert at 7 p.m. at St. Augustine Beach Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, free, 347-8007, thecivicassociation.org. ANCIENT RIVER These shoegazers perform at 8 p.m. at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown.

JUNE 11

JACKSONVILLE SUNS The Suns kick off a homestand against the Tennessee Smokies at 7:05 p.m. tonight (Elvis Himselvis, Shriners Night, College ID Discount, Thursday Night Throwdown) and June 12 (Bark in the Park, Elvis Himselvis, Fireworks, Strike out ALS Night, Bloodmobile), 12:05 p.m. June 13 (ComicCon Light Sword Giveaway), 12:05 p.m. June 14 (Pet-friendly Weekend), and 7:05 p.m. June 15 (Bellybuster Monday, Nassau County Night). All the action is at Bragan Field, Baseball Grounds, 301 Randolph Blvd., Downtown. Tickets $7.50-$25.50; 358-2846, jaxsuns.com. BOOGIE FREAKS The popular local funk heads play at 10 p.m. tonight and June 13 at The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611. THAT ONE SHOW: CHRIS BUCK, BRIAN FOX, JEFF ZENISEK, HERMAN NAZWORTH Get yer laffs on with this local comedy showcase at 8 p.m. at 1904 Music Hall, 19 N. Ocean St., Downtown, $5. SETH WALKER This blues artist performs at 7:30 p.m. at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., San Marco, 352-7008, $10. FREE AMERICAN SOCIETY OF MAMMALOGISTS The ASM offers two workshops. For middle and high school teachers, Dr. George Feldhamer, Professor Emeritus from Southern Illinois University and author discusses Population Dynamics and Mammals of Florida. For elementary school teachers, Dr. Barbara Shaw, STEM Specialist for the Western Region Colorado State University Extension, discusses Tracking Mammals. Both are held at 9 a.m. at the Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank, 396-6674, themosh.org. Continental breakfast and lunch provided. Register for free by calling 396-6674 ext. 226. The GIPSY KINGS, NICOLAS REYES, TONINO BALIARDO The Grammy Award-winning group, featuring musicians from the south of France who perform in Spanish with an Andalusian accent, play at 8 p.m. at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $39-$85. TYCHO The experimental rock artist performs at 8 p.m. at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473, $20. MEN ARE FROM MARS – WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS, LIVE! Peter Story stars in this one-man show, which takes a lighthearted look at John Gray’s bestselling book about romance and marriage, at 8 p.m. today, June 12 and 13 and

at 2 p.m. June 13 at Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 Water St., Downtown, 442-2929, $57.50, artistseriesjax.org. JAY PHILLIPS Comedian Phillips, who’s been featured on Showtime’s Comedy at The 420 and HBO’s Def Comedy Jam, appears at 8 p.m. tonight and 8 and 10 p.m. June 12 and 13 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, $15-$18, 292-4242, comedyzone.com.

JUNE 12

SUPERHEAVEN, DIAMOND YOUTH, ROZWELL KID Pennsylvania rockers Superheaven play at 7 p.m. at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, $10-$13. CHARENEE WADE with THE JOHN LUMPKIN TRIO Jazz vocalist Wade performs with the John Lumpkin Trio at 8 p.m. at The Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 632-5555, $14; $50 includes champagne toast. SWAMP RADIO Hosted by show creator Ian Mairs, this performance of the regionally inspired program with the theme “How’s Your Summer?” features stories, interviews, sketches and live music by The WillowWacks, Herd of Watts, and Tarra Connor Jones, takes place at 8 p.m. at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $25-$50. HYSTERIA (Def Leppard tribute), MEDAL MILITIA (Metallica tribute) Isn’t imitation the sincerest form of flattery? These two tribute rockers honor their heroes at 8 p.m. at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473, $10. FREE ROSALIND J. ELSON Pianist Elson performs Four Centuries of Keyboard Music, Part 3, a concert of baroque, classic, romantic, and modern works by Purcell, Scarlatti, Pezold, Haydn, MacDowell, and Cruse at 3 p.m. in the Choir Loft of Shepherd of the Woods Lutheran Church, 7860 Southside Blvd., Southside, 641-8385.

JUNE 13

BFAST SPRINT SERIES TRIATHLON A .25-mile swim, 14mile bike ride and a 3.1-mile run are the challenge, at 7 a.m. at Naval Station Mayport, for registration fees, call 466-8664, bfasracing.org. ETERNAL SUMMERS, GOLD BEARS Virginia-based noisepop trio Eternal Summers performs at 8 p.m. at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, $10. Florida Country Superfest: ZAC BROWN BAND, KEITH URBAN, BRANTLEY GILBERT, COLE SWINDELL, TYLER FARR, DAVID NAIL, COLT FORD, DANIELLE BRADBERY, SWON BROTHERS This cornucopia of country delights is served up today and June 14 at EverBank Field, Downtown, 633-6100, $40-$250, ticketmaster.com. DAVID CROSBY The founding member of both The Byrds and Crosby, Stills & Nash and a Rock & Roll Hall of Famer to boot performs at 7 p.m. at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, $60.50-$80.50. ARTRAGEOUS ART WALK Downtown Fernandina Beach galleries are open for self-guided tours, 5:30-8:30 p.m. every second Sat., 277-0717, ameliaisland.com. KEVIN SCHLERETH, MAFDET, CHARLIE SHUCK This night of indie rock stylings kicks off at 9 p.m. at Shantytown Pub, 22 W. Sixth St., Springfield, 798-8222.

JUNE 14

SUMMER JAZZ CONCERT Smooth jazz artists Paul Taylor and Jackiem Joyner, Jeff Bradshaw, and Surge perform from 5-9 p.m. at SeaWalk Pavilion, First Street North, Jax Beach, jacksonvillebeach.org. INTERMEZZO SUNDAY The Vivace Trio, featuring flautists Gia Sastre and Carolyn Snyder-Menke and pianist Denise Wright, plays at 3 p.m. at Main Library’s Hicks Auditorium, 303 N. Laura St., Downtown, 630-2353, jplmusic.blogspot.com. LISA KELLY JAZZ VOCAL WORKSHOP Kelly holds a jazz vocal workshop, which includes fundamentals, theory, improvisation, and working with a live combo, from 9 a.m.-7 p.m. at University of North Florida’s Fine Arts Building, Rm. 1415, 1 UNF Dr., Southside, $200 fee includes lunch, 703-8687.

Spend the night Dozin’ with Dinos (June 27). Celebrate Tonca (the museum’s beloved alligator snapping turtle)’s birthday (June 11). There’s always something to do at MOSH!

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DRINK & DINE ON A DIME

Whether Epicurious or Epi-price-conscious, in Northeast Florida, a tight budget doesn’t mean you have to stay home AMERICAN BLOGGER-SLASH-TECH-MOGUL Andrew Hyde has a popular post, “How to Live (Comfortably) on $36 a Month for Food,” in which he makes these recommendations, among others: Cook every meal at home, take advantage of sales and coupons and (my personal favorite) drink a ton of water before eating so that you trick your brain into thinking your stomach is full. “There are tons of ways to get free food by just asking,” Hyde goes on to say. “Waiters who happen to be friends are a good source. Dumpster-diving (a favorite of my neighbor) is surprisingly clean, with most of the good stuff set in a box on top of the garbage.” Though we respect Hyde as the beloved Internet personality he is, we thought we could provide readers of Folio Weekly with a more relevant guide to finding cheap and even free food and drink around Northeast Florida, without encouraging sifting through trash piles. Exploring everything the First Coast has to offer in inexpensive (and sometimes free) drinks and eats is a sure-fire way to beat the heat. But remember, when the tab arrives, you have to leave more than the standard 20 percent. A cheap price tag doesn’t equate to a person being cheap. It’s a simple fact: Nothing goes together better than beer and tacos — especially if those items are offered at bargain prices. Check out THE BACK 40 URBAN CAFÉ in St. Augustine. Back 40 offers $2 Coronas and $2 jerk chicken or avocado and roasted red pepper tacos every day from 3 to 6 p.m., seven days a week. “This is a college town,” says owner Brian Harmon. “I want to offer the students quality food at a good value. There are also a lot of artists and musicians here in St. Augustine and they don’t make a lot of money. It is nice for them to have a place to go for a cheap beer and good, reasonable food.” Another stop in St. Augustine is THE CONCH HOUSE RESTAURANT, located on Salt Run lagoon. Every Sunday, from March LATITUDE 360’s $4 food specials (stacked nachos, pretzel bites and queso, and Boom Boom shrimp) are offered from 4-7 Mon.-Fri.

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AL’S PIZZA offers $1 beers, $1 house wines, and $1 slices on Thursdays at all seven Northeast Florida locations.

through October, the Conch House puts on its infamous Reggae Sunday featuring a live reggae band and drink specials and freebies from various liquor distributors. Those with an inclination toward frugality will be particularly fond of the $3 “Island Beers” (Red Stripe, Kona Longboard Lager and Imperial Lager) offered all day, every day. “We also have free popcorn at our lounge to help manage your munchies if you’re only coming to grab a drink,” says Landon Quayle, the restaurant’s office manager.

And what’s better than a $3 beer? A $1 beer. If you know where to look, one-dollar drafts are available all over Northeast Florida. AL’S PIZZA locations offer Thirsty Thursdays — score a pint of Yuengling or glass of house wine for a buck. At BRUCCI’S PIZZA (Ponte Vedra, Intracoastal, Southside and Fruit Cove), trade four quarters for a slice or a brewski. Going out to dinner as a family can get pricey, but there are a ton of deals for the little ones. Several spots offer “kids eat free” specials, including EL POTRO MEXICAN in Uptown St. Augustine, all four EUROPEAN STREET locations and HARPOON LOUIE’S in Avondale, all on Monday nights (restrictions apply). Cheap eats aren’t just for night owls or rug rats, though. If you’re an early riser, check out DELICOMB in Jacksonville Beach for a morning cup of joe. Coffee and iced coffee will run you $1.95 for a small and $2.50 for a large. It’s not so much the price as the quality, though, that you get for a few greenbacks. “Delicomb is fortunate enough to be part of a coffee lineage that stretches back to Peet’s coffee, which was founded in 1966 in Berkeley, California,” says owner Kevin Leonard Miller. “What this basically means is that, from farm to your cup, you are getting the best possible cup of coffee that money can buy.” THE BLUE HEN CAFÉ, in the Lincolnville neighborhood of St. Augustine, has a killer

egg-and-cheese sandwich on a fresh brioche for $3. Head to THE FOX RESTAURANT in Avondale for its famous $4.95 two-egg breakfast, served with your choice of meat and side. If you prefer some action with your affordable fare and can dip out of work early, then get to LATITUDE 360 for its Mondaythrough-Friday “360 Social” from 4 to 7 p.m. Price-conscious gastrophiles will find solace in Latitude’s $4 food specials, such as Boom Boom Shrimp, fried pickles or flatbread combinations. Cheap is good. But free is the ultimate for the miserly epicurator. Women can take advantage of the numerous “ladies drink free” nights around Northeast Florida. PUSSER’S CARIBBEAN GRILLE in Ponte Vedra Beach gives up free draft beer, house wine and well liquor for the skirts on Fridays from 9 to 11 p.m. at the bar. Also, check out ECLIPSE NIGHTCLUB, where you get a free shot on Karaoke night for every song you “sing.” Some other musts include Taco Tuesday at THE ROGUE in Riverside — earn a free taco with every drink purchase until 7 p.m. and SOUTHERN ROOTS FILLING STATION (also in Riverside), where a sliding-scale rice ‘n’ beans bowl is offered. You choose what you pay — just don’t be a stingy bastard. Kara Pound mail@folioweekly.com

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JUNE 15

NELDÖRETH, VESTARIAN, THE NOCTAMBULANT, SATURNINE Looking for something to do after Bible Summer Camp has ended? Come enjoy these black metal darlings at 8 p.m. at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, $6.

JUNE 16

The Happy Together Tour: THE TURTLES, FLO & EDDIE, THE ASSOCIATION, MARK LINDSAY, THE GRASSROOTS, THE COWSILLS, THE BUCKINGHAMS PEACE, love, and Metamucil, man! These groovy folks bring the ’60s rock memories at 8 p.m. at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $35-$75. JAMES WELDON JOHNSON CELEBRATION The Ritz Theatre & Museum holds the birthday celebration from 6-8 p.m. at 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 632-5555.

JUNE 17

BRONCHO, LE ORCHID Known for a blend of catchy riffs and distorted guitar tones, Broncho plays at 8 p.m. at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $10. FREE MUSIC BY THE SEA Live music by The Grapes of Roth, with dinner available from Zaharias, 6 p.m. food service, concert at 7 p.m. at St. Augustine Beach Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, free, 347-8007, thecivicassociation.org. THE HIGHWAYMEN LIVE Alhambra Theatre & Dining presents this musical revue, featuring the songs of Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash, and Waylon Jennings, at 6 p.m. tonight and May 18, 19, and 20; at 11 a.m. May 20 and noon May 21 at 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 641-1212, $64, alhambrajax.com. Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menu is featured.

JUNE 18

NORTH BEACHES ART WALK Galleries of Atlantic and Neptune beaches are open 5-9 p.m. every third Thur. from Sailfish Drive in Atlantic Beach to Neptune Beach and Town Center, 753-9594, nbaw.org. PECHA KUCHA: YEAR OF THE RIVER Nine local speakers present 20 slides and comment on each for 20 seconds, addressing a range of issues surrounding the St. Johns River, including environment, art, and industry, at 7 p.m. at Museum of Contemporary Art Jacksonville, 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 366-6911, mocajacksonville.com. FREE NINTH ANNUAL ST. AUGUSTINE MUSIC FESTIVAL Six free classical music concerts are held June 18, 19 and 20 and June 25, 26 and 27 at Cathedral Basilica, 38 Cathedral Place, St. Augustine. For a schedule, go to staugustinemusicfestival.org. RABBIS’ CIVIL RIGHTS LETTER READING & COMMEMORATION “Why We Went to St. Augustine,” commemorating the 51st anniversary of the mass arrest of 17 Jewish civil rights activists, the largest arrest in U.S. history, is held at noon at Hilton Garden Inn Bayfront, 32 Avenida Menendez, St. Augustine, 804-914-4460. WORLD’S LARGEST SWIMMING LESSON To build awareness about the importance of teaching children to swim to prevent drowning, this event is held 10 a.m. at Adventure Landing, 1944 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, for details, call 246-4386; adventurelanding.com. JAXSON’S NIGHT MARKET Street food vendors, craft beer, local farmers, and artisans and craft makers are featured from 5:30-9 p.m. today and every third Thur. at Hemming Park, Downtown, facebook.com/JaxsonsNightMarket.

JUNE 19

GO SKATE JAX Hit the decks! This skateboard festival, held at three venues and featuring a tapping party, mini ramp, trick contest, skate prizes, DJs, and a street course, is held today and June 20 and 21. For a schedule of events, go to goskatejax.com. GUIDED KAYAK TOURS St. Johns County Recreation & Parks Dept. offers guided kayak tours 10 a.m. at Trout Creek Park, 6795 Collier Rd., St. Augustine, $20 for St. Johns County residents; $30 non-residents, (for those with their own kayak); $40 per person to rent a kayak. Seats are limited. 209-0348. ARCHNEMESIS, MZG, DAMBALLA, CAT PARTY Selfdescribed “electro hip-hop soul” artist Archnemesis performs at 8 p.m. at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473, $10. THE SOMETHINGS Chicago classic rockers play at 8 p.m. at 1904 Music Hall, 19 N. Ocean St., Downtown, $7 advance; $9 day of. CHUGGINGTON LIVE! The live-action, musical adaptation of the popular TV series is staged at 7 p.m. at the Times-Union Center’s Moran Theater, 300 Water St., Downtown, $22.50$57.50, 442-2929, artistseriesjax.org.

JUNE 20

LUKE WADE, BABY BEE, The STATES Texas singersongwriter upstart Wade performs at 8 p.m. at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $10.

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Jaxsons Night Market takes place every third Thursday of the month in Hemming Park and features some of Northeast Florida’s finest local food vendors, musicians, craftsmen, and artists. Elvis 80th Birthday Celebration: BILL CHERRY and CODY SLAUGHTER World champion Elvis Presley impersonators Cherry and Slaughter are featured in the King’s 80th Birthday Celebration at 7 p.m. at the Times-Union Center’s Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 Water St., Downtown, 633-3110, $33-$62. WILD WONDERS’ ANIMAL ADVENTURES FOR KIDS This kid-geared nature event features fun, informative stories and hands-on time with 17 mammals and reptiles at 11 a.m. at Dutton Island Preserve Pavilion, 2001 Dutton Island Dr., Atlantic Beach, 247-5828, coab.us/events. ART CLASS AT THE RITZ Ernani Silva holds the class “Art to Heal” from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at The Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 632-5555.

JUNE 21

SOUTHERN MISCONDUCT, STATUS FAUX, BACKWATER BIBLE SALESMEN Tampa-based pop punkers Southern Misconduct play at 8 p.m. at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $8. THE DREAMING, DIE SO FLUID, DANCING WITH GHOSTS, KILO KAHN, INNER DEMONS Featuring founding members of ’90s industrial rock band Stabbing Westward, The Dreaming perform at 6 p.m. at 1904 Music Hall, 19 N. Ocean St., Downtown, $8. MOTORCYCLE SWAP MEET A variety of motorcycle accessories, live music and food are featured from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at St. Augustine Flea Market, 2495 S.R. 207, 824-4210, staugustinefleamarket.com. The meet is held the third Sun. of every month. GO SKATE DAY Kona Skate Park and PB&J present this event, featuring skate competitions by professional skaters, roller derby girls, live music, an art show, chopper show, and antique car show, from 5-9 p.m. at Hemming Park, 303 N. Laura St., Downtown, konaskatepark.com.

JUNE 22

TEEN DIVERSITY LEADERSHIP PROGRAM OneJax presents its Metrotown Institute, a four-day program for teens entering grades 10-12 that promotes respect and understanding across the differences of race, religion, sexual orientation, gender, ethnicity, socio-economic status and ability, today through June 25 at Riverside Presbyterian Church, 849 Park St. $150 fee includes lunch, snacks, and dinner on final night. Students must be referred to the program or endorsed by a sponsor – parent, teacher, counselor, clergy or community leader. 620-1529, onejax.org.

JUNE 23

BITS ’N’ PIECES PUPPET THEATRE This kid-geared stage adaptation of Washington Irving’s tale about Rip Van Winkle, who took a really rewarding nap, combines live actors and talented puppeteers at 9:30 a.m. at Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts, 283 College Dr., Orange Park, 276-6750, $8, thcenter.org.

JUNE 24

SEUSSICAL THE MUSICAL Alhambra Theatre & Dining presents a family-geared musical revue, based on characters from the Dr. Seuss books, today through Aug. 2. Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menu is featured; at 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 641-1212, $35-$59, alhambrajax.com. FREE MUSIC BY THE SEA Live music by Oh No, with dinner available from Seafood Kitchen, 6 p.m. food service,

concert at 7 p.m. at St. Augustine Beach Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, free, 347-8007, thecivicassociation.org.

JUNE 25

animals’ roles in the habitat, 8:30-10:30 a.m., and every fourth Saturday, at GTM Research Reserve Environmental Education Center, 505 Guana River Rd., Ponte Vedra. Free with paid entrance, 823-4500, gtmnerr.org.

BRET ERNST Funnyman Ernst, who’s appeared on Chelsea Lately and Comics Unleashed, appears at 8 p.m. tonight and 8 and 10 p.m. June 26 and 27 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, $18-$22, 292-4242, comedyzone.com.

THE JOKERS WILD COMEDY TOUR: DeRAY DAVIS, EARTHQUAKE, KEVIN “DAMN FOOL” SIMPSON This thunderous train of comedy rolls into town at 8 p.m. at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $45-$65.

JACKSONVILLE SUNS The Suns kick off a homestand against the Biloxi Shuckers at 7:05 p.m. tonight (Thursday Night Throwdown) and June 26 (Team Card Set Giveaway, Report Card Night, Fireworks), 7:05 p.m. June 27 (Mary Frances Bragan Bobble Arm Giveaway), 3:05 p.m. June 28 (Ed Randall’s Bat for the Cure, Kids Run the Bases, Racing Day), and 12:05 p.m. June 29 (Camp Day). All the action is at Bragan Field, Baseball Grounds, 301 Randolph Blvd., Downtown. Tickets $7.50-$25.50; 358-2846, jaxsuns.com.

JACKSONVILLE SHARKS vs. CLEVELAND GLADIATORS Halloween in June themed night; game starts at 7 p.m. at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., Downtown, $12-$133, 621-0700, jaxsharks.com.

SATURDAY NIGHT SOLDIERS, ASKMEIFICARE, SWINGING HARPOON, LOVERS QUARREL, THE BLUES FACTOR St. Louis-bred jam rockers Saturday Night Soldiers perform at 8 p.m. at 1904 Music Hall, 19 N. Ocean St., Downtown, $7 advance; $9 day of. MOSH AFTER DARK David Joudi, Riverside Liquors & Village Wine Shop and Royal Palm Village Wine & Tapas, discusses the history of wine and how it’s made, $20 for members, $25 for nonmembers, 6:30 p.m. at Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank, 396-6674 ext. 230, themosh.org. SURFER BLOOD, TURBO FRUITS Indie rock kings Surfer Blood, who’ve toured with the likes of The Pixies and Guided by Voices, play at 8 p.m. at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $12. AMERICANA CONCERT AT THE CUMMER The Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens presents Fjord Explorer, New Strangers, Joseph Shuck and The Jacksonville Old Time Jam at 6 p.m. at Cummer Gardens, 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, $25; $20 for members, bring a picnic and beverages; food and drink also available at museum’s café, cummermuseum.org.

JUNE 26

NATURAL INSTINCTS These local rockers play at 10 p.m. tonight and June 27 at The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611. STYX The classic rock favorites perform at 8 p.m. at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $39.50-$69.50. PIERCE PETTIS Underground folk favorite Pettis is on at 7:30 p.m. at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., San Marco, 352-7008, $10. OTTMAR LIEBERT & LUNA NEGRA Guitar virtuoso Liebert and his band perform at 7 p.m. at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, $36-$46.

MICHAEL RENO HARRELL The singer-songwriter appears at 7:30 p.m. at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., San Marco, 352-7008, $10. DOZIN’ WITH DINOS CAMP-IN Spend the night in MOSH’s summer exhibit, Dinosaurs Unearthed, or under Fermata, the museum’s life-sized whale. Dozing with Dinos also includes an animal program, dino crafts, a self-guided flashlight tour, and a movie. The camp-in begins at 6 p.m. and ends the next morning at 7 a.m. Cost is $35 per person (adult required) and includes a late-night pizza snack and continental breakfast. Members receive a 20 percent discount. Souvenir packs available, $10; at the Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank, 3966674, themosh.org. MANNA ZEN, TRIBE & TRUTH, TRUE VIOLET, BLEEDING IN STEREO, DEAD DEADS This night of local hard rock kicks off at 8 p.m. at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473, $8. UPTOWN SATURDAY NIGHT The self-guided tour features galleries, antique stores and shops open from 5-9 p.m. every last Sat. in St. Augustine’s San Marco District, 824-3152. FREE ROMANCE AUTHORS Ancient City Romance Authors present Jennifer Fusco, author of Market or Die: A Down & Dirty Guide to Marketing Your Book, at 1 p.m. at Southeast Regional Library, 10599 Deerwood Park Blvd., Jacksonville, acrarwa.org. AMERICA ON TAP This craft beer event, featuring more than 100 beers and specialty brews, is held 2:30-6 p.m. at Prime Osborn Convention Center, 1000 Water St., Downtown, $35, 630-4000, jaxevents.com.

JUNE 28

BRYAN ADAMS It cuts like a knife. And feels so … right, much like, oddly enough, Adams, who’s on at 6:30 p.m. at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 209-0367, $30-$85.

MIKE SHACKELFORD This local singer-songwriter fave hosts Acoustic Night at 6 p.m. at Bull Park, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-5828.

JULIANNE HOUGH & DEREK HOUGH These superstar dance siblings pirouette and cut a mean rug at 7 p.m. at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 209-0367, $45-$100.

FUN IN THE SUN COMPETITION First Coast Figure Skating Club holds the competition at Jacksonville Ice & Sportsplex, 3605 Philips Highway, Southside, featuring basic skills, beginner/pre-juvenile, test track, adult, solo dance and showcase events, 399-3223, jaxskateclub.org, jacksonvilleice.com.

FAMILY SEINING ACTIVITY Pull a seine net through Guana Lake, collecting fish, crabs and more, and learn about the

JACKSONVILLE ROLLERGIRLS The Jacksonville RollerGirls present a double-header, with the J-Villains vs. Fort Stewart

JUNE 27

and the Duval Derby Dames vs. Bold City Bombshells, 6:30 p.m. at Mandarin Skate Station, 3461 Kori Rd., Mandarin, jacksonvillerollergirls.com. FRIDAY MUSICALE Pianist Laurent Boukobza performs at 3 p.m. at 645 Oak St., Riverside, 355-7584, fridaymusicale.com. JACKSONVILLE ROLLERGIRLS The J-Villains take on Fort Stewart and the Duval Derby Dames battle the Bold City Bombshells at 6 p.m. at Mandarin Skate Station, 3461 Kori Rd., Mandarin, $10 advance; $12 at the door, jacksonvillerollergirls.com.

JULY

JULY 1

SAY ANYTHING, MODERN BASEBALL, CYMBALS EAT GUITARS, HARD GIRLS Hollywood, California punkers Say Anything play at 6 p.m. at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, 699-8186, $17.50. FREE MUSIC BY THE SEA Live music by Ain’t Too Proud to Beg, with dinner available from Purple Olive, 6 p.m. food service, concert at 7 p.m. at St. Augustine Beach Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, free, 347-8007, thecivicassociation.org. SCOTTY K Funnyman Scotty K, who’s appeared on BET’s Comic View and The Bob and Tom Show, is on at 8 p.m. tonight and July 2 and 8 and 10 p.m. July 3 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, $12-$15, 292-4242, comedyzone.com. FIRST WEDNESDAY ART WALK The downtown art walk, held 5-9 p.m. every first Wed., features more than 13 live music venues, more than 13 hotspots open after 9 p.m. and 50 total participating venues, spanning 15 blocks in Downtown Jacksonville. iloveartwalk.com. WEDNESDAY MARKET Local produce, arts, crafts, clothing, foods, live music and more are featured, from 8 a.m.-12:30 p.m. today and every Wed. at St. Johns Pier Park, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, free, 347-8007, thecivicassociation.org.

JULY 2

DON McLEAN “Bye, bye, Ms. American Pie.” Singersongwriter McLean performs at 8 p.m. at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $35-$59.

JULY 3

BLACK TUSK These Savannah metalloid-rockers play at 8 p.m. at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, $10. COSMIC CONCERTS Shows are Laser Spirit 7 p.m., Laser Beatles 8 p.m., Laser Country 9 p.m. and Laser Dark Side of the Moon 10 p.m. in Bryan-Gooding Planetarium, Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank; online tickets $5, 396-7062, moshplanetarium.org. FIRST FRIDAY ART WALK The tour of Art Galleries of St. Augustine is held every first Fri., with more than 15 galleries participating, 829-0065.

FOURTH OF JULY FIREWORKS Three of the biggest displays are in Jacksonville (jacksonvillelanding.com), St. Augustine (floridashistoriccoast.com) and Jacksonville Beach (jacksonvillebeach.org). Hit websites for details. UNION GARRISON EVENT Historians re-enact life in the fort as it was in 1864. Soldiers in period dress perform in firing demonstrations, marching drills, cooking and daily activities. Ladies promenade in Civil War-era dresses, sutlers display their wares and drummer boys … well, drum. Union Garrison event 9 a.m.-5 p.m. today, 9 a.m.-noon July 5, Fort Clinch State Park, 2601 Atlantic Ave., Fernandina Beach. Park entrance fee: $6 per vehicle; $2 per person Fort admission; 277-7274, floridastateparks.org.

JULY 5

BEACH CLEAN-UP Keepers of the Coast needs volunteers for the sixth annual Summer Daze Beach Clean-Up on the north side of Jax Beach Pier, 503 First St. N., Jax Beach. Everyone gets a bag for trash, a bag for recycling and a bag for cigarette butts. The volunteer to collect the most cigarette butts wins Volcom prizes. 707-7531, keepersofthecoast.org. MOCA ART FUSION AT HEMMING PARK This kid-geared day features art-making projects, games, and music, along with each child participant receiving free admission into the Museum of Contemporary Art, from noon-4 p.m., and the first Sun. of each month, at Hemming Park, 303 N. Laura St., Downtown, mocajacksonville.org. THE CONVALESCENCE, BESIDE THE SILENCE, DENIED TIL DEATH These straight-up rockers appear at 8 p.m. at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $8.

JULY 6

Vans Warped Tour: ALIVE LIKE ME, AS IT IS, BABY BABY, ARGENT, BEAUTIFUL BODIES, BEING AS AN OCEAN, BLACK BOOTS, BLACK VEIL BRIDES, BLESSTHEFALL, BORN CAGES, KOO KOO KANGA ROO, BOYMEETSWORLD, CANDY HEARTS, ESCAPE THE FATE, FAMILY FORCE 5, FIT FOR A KING, HANDGUNS, HANDS LIKE HOUSES, I KILLED THE PROM QUEEN, KOSHA DILLZ, LE CASTLE VANIA, LEE COREY OSWALD, M4SONIC, MATCHBOOK ROMANCE, NECK DEEP, NIGHT NIGHT RIOTS, PALISADES, SPLITBREED, THE RELAPSE SYMPHONY, TRANSIT, THE WONDER YEARS, TROPHY EYES, WHILE SHE SLEEPS, YOUTH IN REVOLT “Gee whiz, I’d sure like to see a few dozen punk bands.” Well, young Archibald – look no further! The Warped Tour kicks off at 11 a.m. at Morocco Shrine Auditorium, 3800 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Southside, 642-5200, $29, vanswarpedtour.com.

JULY 7

R5, JACOB WHITESIDES, RYLAND Los Angeles pop-rock quintet R5 performs at 7 p.m. at Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts, St. Johns River State College, 283 College Dr., Orange Park, 276-6750, $43-$199. GALLERY TALK WITH PRINCESS SIMPSON RASHID Local artist Rashid is featured in the gallery talk, “Controlled Spontaneity: Acrylic Painting,” from 6-8 p.m. at The Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 632-5555.

JULY 8

FREE MUSIC BY THE SEA Live music by Billy Buchanan

THE ROW LESS TRAVELED: Guided kayak nature tours with Kayak Amelia are a great way to increase your paddle power while learning about your local environment. $10 discount for children younger than 12.

CHILLY RHINO The local rock music faves play tonight and July 4 at 10 p.m. at The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611. DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts and crafts and local produce are offered 10 a.m.-2 p.m. every Fri. at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 353-1188.

JULY 4

JACKSONVILLE SUNS The Suns kick off a homestand against the Chattanooga Lookouts at 7:05 p.m. tonight (Fireworks Spectacular, Patriotic Pink Jersey Auction, Bloodmobile), 6:05 p.m. July 5 (Kids Run the Bases, Bark in the Park), 7:05 p.m. July 6 (Bellybuster Monday) and July 7 (Folio Weekly Family Feast Night), 1:05 p.m. July 8 (Businessperson’s Special), 7:05 p.m. July 9 against the Mobile BayBears (College ID Discount, Thursday Night Throwdown), 7:05 p.m. July 10 (Fireworks, Pedro’s Last Dance T-shirts), July 11 (J.T. Realmuto Bobblehead Giveaway, Jimmy Buffett Night), 3:05 p.m. July 12 (Kids Run the Bases, Throwback Day) and 12:05 p.m. July 13 (Camp Day). All the action is at Bragan Field, Baseball Grounds, 301 Randolph Blvd., Downtown. Tickets $7.50-$25.50; 358-2846, jaxsuns.com.

& Free Avenue, with dinner available from Blackfly, 6 p.m. food service, concert at 7 p.m. at St. Augustine Beach Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, free, 347-8007, thecivicassociation.org.

JULY 9

B.J. BARHAM (AMERICAN AQUARIUM) Americana dude Barham plays at 8 p.m. at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $10.

JULY 10

NEW KINGSTON, SUN DRIED VIBES, CLOUD 9 VIBES, DJ RAGAMUFFIN Brooklyn, New York reggae heads New Kingston play at 8 p.m. at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473, $10. ASKMEIFICARE These local punk rock badasses kill it at 10 p.m. at The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611.

JULY 11

TONCA’S BIRTHDAY PARTY It’s the Big Four-Nine for Tonca the Turtle, celebrating from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at the Museum

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ART ON THE CHEAP Fill your summer with art that’s a different kind of priceless LET’S FACE IT: Enjoying visual art can be pricey. This past February, an unknown buyer paid $300 million to purchase When Will You Marry?, impressionist Paul Gauguin’s 1892 oil painting from his “Someday This Painting Will Sell for a Shitload of Money”-period. The editorial and design teams here at Folio Weekly had collectively pooled our money to place a bid on this coveted masterpiece. Yet once the bidding for the piece ended, we immediately agreed to invest our funds into a half-dozen pizzas from Hungry Howie’s, which we furiously consumed while standing around the office’s unplugged light table where we enjoy or communal meals, share profane limericks, curse at our lottery scratch-off tickets, and mock you, our devoted readers. Oh, we kid! Believe us, when it comes to enjoying art while making sure our cash remains in Mason jars buried in an undisclosed location (hint: It’s our Art Director, Chaz Bäck’s yard!), we’ve worked all the scams and angles. We learned to avoid one specific caper the hard way after trying to breeze through a couple of Patrons’ Preview parties: Andy Warhol never had any children who “joined the rodeo in Holland,” and, for that matter, he apparently sired no offspring. And take it from us, trying to corral 10-to-15 confused children into a museum with the hopes of getting a “field trip discount” rarely works, especially when those uncooperative tykes run screaming from their “teacher” in abject terror. “Well, excuse me, officer. I’m merely trying to teach those little ingrates, uh, students, about Picasso and parsimoniousness.” The very idea of spending money to enjoy the arts makes us anxious and sweaty, like Ned Beatty stranded at a hog-calling contest. 20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MAY 27-JUNE 2, 2015

Jacksonville’s DOWNTOWN ART WALK takes place every first Wednesday of the month (walking around is free).

But the enjoyment of art need not empty one’s artisanally crafted, vegan chain wallets. Thoughtful, helpful, and generous are three adjectives we usually avoid, but for you, fellow culture lover/cheapskate, we offer a sampling of arts places to go where you don’t need much, or any, dough.

ART WALKS

While some have compared Northeast Florida Art Walks to pub crawls, we like to think of them as more of a great way to see local art while possibly getting free drinks and filling our pockets with as many cubes of cheese as humanly possible. Art Walks might be your best bet to do a “mass inhalation” of artwork in a four-hour time frame. Naturally, we offer you a list of each week’s walks in our arts listings (see page 32.)

CoRK ARTS DISTRICT

2689 ROSSELLE ST., RIVERSIDE, CORKARTSDISTRICT.TUMBLR.COM, FACEBOOK.COM/CORKARTSDISTRICT The cultural phenomenon known as CoRK Arts District is an undeniable success in creating a cross-pollination of various arts disciplines in Northeast Florida. Roughly 70 artists, working in media ranging from painting and sculpture to spoken word and

playwriting, have working studios throughout this monolithic 100,000-square-foot space. And while CoRK isn’t open to the general public, it regularly features gallery shows by the resident creative denizens. But it’s also not the Fortress of Solitude: If you know some of the artists working there, they invariably will give you entrance to CoRK’s productive albeit casual vibe.

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS

829 RIVERSIDE AVE., 356-6857, CUMMER.ORG This stalwart of Jacksonville art features always-engaging current exhibits, a permanent collection that showcases thousands of works ranging from 17thcentury European paintings to 18th-century Meissen porcelain, and three flower gardens on the banks of the St. Johns River. The best part? You can enjoy all of this when admission is free, 4-9 p.m. every Tuesday and 10 a.m.-4 p.m. on the first Saturday of every month.

LOCAL GALLERIES

From Fernandina Beach to St. Augustine and all points in between, there are dozens of art galleries in Northeast Florida. So whether your tastes lean toward flamingos-flying-overthe-beach paintings (our personal fave!) or cutting-edge, contemporary works, galleries are a great — and free — way to check out

local, regional and international art. For a list of some current gallery shows, check out our arts listings on page 32.

MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE

333 N. LAURA ST., DOWNTOWN, 366-6911, MOCAJACKSONVILLE.COM This visual arts mecca located in the heart of Downtown always brings the “A” game for presenting exhibits that run the gamut from international group shows to their inventive Project: Atrium installation series to local artists. MOCA offers freebies on Thursday nights throughout the summer.

MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN ART

Here’s a radical idea: Shut down the Netflix, drop that industrial-sized bag of tempeh jerky, and make your own art! Drag a stick through the sand, offer an unwarranted performance art piece at the DMV, take selfies of yourself at the psychiatrist’s office, make a papier mâché effigy of Shad Khan — who cares? Demand that the world realize your brilliance — at least until the new episode of Moonshiners airs. Daniel A. Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com

Sailfish Drive in Atlantic Beach to Neptune Beach and Town Center, 753-9594, nbaw.org. JAXSON’S NIGHT MARKET Street food vendors, craft beer, local farmers, and artisans and craft makers are featured from 5:30-9 p.m. today and every third Thur. at Hemming Park, Downtown, facebook.com/JaxsonsNightMarket.

of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank, 396-6674, themosh.org. Party games, animal encounters, face-painting and sweet treats are featured, along with Tonca’s annual weigh-in in the Hixon Native Plant Courtyard. Call for fees and details.

JULY 17

THE GOLD MEDAL SHOW Six magicians from around the world compete in this night of magic, featuring Master of Ceremonies Ice McDonald and a closing performance by Emmy-winning magician David Cox, at 8 p.m. at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $18.50 (kids 12 and under) and $28.50.

BARENAKED LADIES, VIOLENT FEMMES, COLIN HAY Canuck alt-rock goofballs (we mean that in a nice way) Barenaked Ladies perform at 5:30 p.m. at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 209-0367, $35-$78.

BRYCE ALASTAIR BAND, PIANO, TOM BENNET BAND These local faves play at 8 p.m. at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $8.

JACKSONVILLE ROLLERGIRLS The Jacksonville RollerGirls present a double-header, with the River City Rat Pack vs. Palm Coast and the First Coast Fatales vs. Duval Derby Dames, 6:30 p.m. at Mandarin Skate Station, 3461 Kori Rd., Mandarin, jacksonvillerollergirls.com.

ART & IDEAS DISCUSSION This lecture, featuring a discussion between Joelle Dietrick and assistant curator Jaime DeSimone on Dietrick’s creative process, career, and Project Atrium installation, is held at 7:15 p.m. at Museum of Contemporary Art Jacksonville, 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 366-6911, mocajacksonville.com.

BETWEEN THE BURIED & ME, ANIMALS AS LEADERS, THE CONTORTIONIST Progressive metal band Between the Buried & Me plays at 7 p.m. at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473, $20.

CHROME HEART The Jacksonville rockers play at 10 p.m. tonight and July 18 at The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611.

PLANETRAWK The Atlanta-based alternative hip-hop band appears at 8 p.m. at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $8.

BUDDY THE DINOSAUR Join MOSH and WJCT for a visit with popular PBS character Buddy the Dinosaur 10 a.m.-3 p.m. at the Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle,

JULY 18

The Thrasher Horne Center for the Arts mainstage features hot summer performances from Lyle Lovett, pop-rock quintet R5, and more. THCenter.org.

ARTRAGEOUS ART WALK Downtown Fernandina Beach galleries are open for self-guided tours, 5:30-8:30 p.m. every second Sat., 277-0717, ameliaisland.com.

JULY 13

GREATER JACKSONVILLE KINGFISH TOURNAMENT The 35th annual Greater Jacksonville Kingfish Tournament offers competitors the chance to land the “big one” in the general tournament, junior angler, redfish, and dock categories, along with food and vendors selling their wares. Tournament week is July 13-18 at Sisters Creek Park & Boat Ramp, 8203 Heckscher Dr., Northside, kingfishtournament.com.

JULY 14

JAX BEACH ART WALK More than 30 local artists display works, 5-9 p.m. every second Tue., along First Street between Beach Boulevard and Fifth Avenue North, Jax Beach, betterjaxbeach.com/jax-beach-art-walk.html.

JULY 15

AMERICA IDOL TOUR LIVE! This concert, featuring the top five American Idols from Season 14, kicks off at 7:30 p.m. at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $49.50-$64.50. FREE MUSIC BY THE SEA Live music by The Committee, with dinner available from Bonez, 6 p.m. food service, concert at 7 p.m. at St. Augustine Beach Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, free, 347-8007, thecivicassociation.org. SHANIA TWAIN The country mega star (and adherent to the meditation-geared, Eastern spiritual path of Sant Mat!) performs at 7 p.m. at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., Downtown, 630-3900, $45-$135.

JULY 16

SHENANIGANS: COMEDY, MAGIC & MISCHIEF This evening offers up of sleight-of-hand, illusion, juggling, and comedy from the likes of Ivan Pecel, Eric Buss, John Shryock and Mari Lynn, and Greg Shibley, at 8 p.m. at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $18.50 (kids 12 and under) and $28.50. NORTH BEACHES ART WALK Galleries of Atlantic and Neptune beaches are open 5-9 p.m. every third Thur. from

Southbank, 396-6674, themosh.org. Included with regular Museum admission. Free for MOSH members or WJCT Kids Club Members (with one paid adult; present WJCT Kids Club Member Card at front desk). PATO BANTON Reggae legend Banton performs at 8 p.m. at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473, $15. GRAND MAGIC SHOW This closing show of the annual convention of the International Brotherhood of Magicians features magical performances by Ted and Marion Outerbridge, Tom Mullica, Ken Scott, and Soma at 8 p.m. at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 3552787, $18.50 (kids 12 and under) and $28.50. WRITERS WORKSHOP AT THE CUMMER Celeste Kruger leads this workshop, to help increase imaginative abilities, from noon-4 p.m. at the Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, $100, cummermuseum.org. JACKSONVILLE SHARKS vs. PHILADELPHIA SOUL Christmas in July themed night; game starts at 7 p.m. at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., Downtown, $12-$133, 621-0700, jaxsharks.com. JACKSONVILLE ARMADA VS. NEW YORK COSMOS Local football faves the Jacksonville Armada take on the New York Cosmos at 7:30 p.m. at the Baseball Grounds, 301 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., Downtown, tickets start at $14, 633-6100, ticketmaster.com.

JULY 19

ROBERT EARL KEEN & HIS BAND A peer of Townes Van Zandt, Guy Clark, and Joe Ely, singer-songwriter Keen performs at 7 p.m. at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, $40-$50. MOTORCYCLE SWAP MEET A variety of motorcycle accessories, live music and food are featured from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at St. Augustine Flea Market, 2495 S.R. 207, 824-4210, staugustinefleamarket.com. The meet is held the third Sun. of every month.

JULY 22

FREE MUSIC BY THE SEA Live music by Mr. Natural, with dinner available from Panama Hatties, 6 p.m. food service, concert at 7 p.m. at St. Augustine Beach Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, free, 347-8007, thecivicassociation.org.

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JULY 29

FREE MUSIC BY THE SEA Live music by Midlife Crisis, with dinner available from Sea Oats Cafe, 6 p.m. food service, concert at 7 p.m. at St. Augustine Beach Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, free, 347-8007, thecivicassociation.org.

JAZZ GUITARIST TAYLOR ROBERTS Jazz guitarist Roberts is featured 7-10 p.m. every Wed. and Thur. at Ocean 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060, ocean60.com.

JULY 23

SLIGHTLY STOOPID, DIRTY HEADS, STICK FIGURE This night of funk-ska brah-rock and Rhodes Scholar discourse starts promptly at 4:30 p.m. at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 209-0367, $34.50-$39.50.

ELITE PERFORMANCE CAMP Coach Karen Ludington offers this camp held 9 a.m.-2 p.m. today, July 30 and 31, at Jacksonville Ice & Sportsplex, 3605 Philips Highway, Jacksonville, with two on-ice classes and one off-ice class per day; $295 per skater; 399-3223, jacksonvilleice.com.

JULY 30

JEFF DYE Funnyman Dye, who’s appeared on Last Comic Standing, is on at 8 p.m. tonight and 8 and 10 p.m. July 31 and Aug. 1 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, $20, 292-4242, comedyzone.com.

JULY 31

JACKSONVILLE SUNS The Suns kick off a homestand against the Birmingham Barons at 7:05 p.m. tonight (College ID Discount, Thursday Night Throwdown), July 24 Bloodmobile, Green St. Patty’s Day Suns Cap Giveaway), July 25 (Justin Nicolino Bobblehead Giveaway, Ladies, Tag team and Midget Postgame Wrestling), 6:05 p.m. July 26 (Bark in the Park, Kids Run Bases) and 7:05 p.m. July 27 (Bellybuster Monday, Clay County Night). All the action is at Bragan Field, Baseball Grounds, 301 Randolph Blvd., Downtown. Tickets $7.50-$25.50; 358-2846, jaxsuns.com.

WHITESNAKE With album titles like Slip of the Tongue and Slide It In, you know these blokes are saucy lads! Whitesnake performs at 8 p.m. at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $34.50-$69.50.

BRIANNA THOMAS, THE JOHN LUMPKIN TRIO Jazz vocalist Thomas performs with John Lumpkin Trio at 8 p.m. at The Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 6325555, $14; $50 includes champagne toast.

DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts and crafts and local produce are offered 10 a.m.-2 p.m. every Fri. at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 353-1188.

AFFION CROCKETT Funnyman Crockett, who’s appeared on HBO’s Curb Your Enthusiasm and Def Comedy Jam, appears at 8 p.m. tonight and 8 and 10 p.m. July 24 and 25 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, $20-$23, 2924242, comedyzone.com.

AUGUST

JULY 24

DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts and crafts and local produce are offered 10 a.m.-2 p.m. every Fri. at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 353-1188.

JULY 25

The Connection Festival: 311, JULIAN MARLEY, MATISYAHU, BALLYHOO!, NEW YORK SKA-JAZZ ENSEMBLE, WHOLE WHEAT BREAD, STANK SAUCE, SKYWATER, JAH ELECT AND THE I QUALITY BAND, CLOUD 9 VIBE, ASKMEIFICARE, HOLEY MISS MOLEY, YAMADEO, HERD OF WATTS, WESTER JOSEPH’S STEREO VUDU, THE DUPPIES, FLAG ON FIRE This daylong fest of rap, reggae, rock, and rodeo puppetry (OK, we made that one up) kicks off at noon at Metropolitan Park, 4110 Gator Bowl Blvd., Downtown, $35$125, connectionfestival.com.

JACKSONVILLE ARMADA VS. MINNESOTA UNITED FC Local football faves the Jacksonville Armada take on Minnesota United FC at 7:30 p.m. at the Baseball Grounds, 301 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., Downtown, tickets start at $14, 633-6100, ticketmaster.com.

AUGUST 1

This year, the annual Never Quit Challenge includes a 5k and Trident Race, 1 mile fun run, jump and skydiving demos, yoga, and more. Go to NeverQuitNever.org for registration details.

ROB THOMAS, PLAIN WHITE T’s The former Matchbox 20 frontman and propagator of the Julius Caesar hairstyle performs at 6 p.m. at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 209-0367, $43-$93. JACKSONVILLE SHARKS vs. TAMPA BAY STORM Star Wars themed night; game starts at 7 p.m. at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., Downtown, $12-$133, 621-0700, jaxsharks.com. PURE PRAIRIE LEAGUE, FIREFALL, ATLANTA RHYTHM SECTION Why, it’s a classic rock trifecta when these grayhaired rockers crawl onstage at 8 p.m. at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $39-$69. UNKNOWN HINSON, BIRD CLOUD, RUSTY SHINE Hell yes! Psychobilly overlord and master of country parody Unknown Hinson plays at 8 p.m. at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $17. UPTOWN SATURDAY NIGHT The self-guided tour features galleries, antique stores and shops open from 5-9 p.m. every last Sat. in St. Augustine’s San Marco District, 824-3152.

JULY 26

MIKE SHACKELFORD This local singer-songwriter fave hosts Acoustic Night at 6 p.m. at Bull Park, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-5828. JAKE MILLER, JASMINE V, ALEX ANGELO Miami-born pop artist Miller performs at 7 p.m. at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473, $20.

JULY 27

PLANES MISTAKEN FOR STARS, ZULU WAVE, DREDGER Illinois heavy rockers Planes Mistaken for Stars rock it at 9 p.m. at Shanghai Nobby’s, 10 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 547-2188.

JULY 28

FIFTH HARMONY This pop vocal group performs at 7 p.m. at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $29.50-$49.50.

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MY MORNING JACKET, MINI MANSIONS Not to be confused with Your Evening Muumuu, innovative rockers My Morning Jacket perform at 6 p.m. at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 209-0367, $37.50-$45. UNION GARRISON EVENT Historians re-enact life in the fort as it was in 1864. Soldiers in period dress perform in firing demonstrations, marching drills, cooking and daily activities. Ladies promenade in Civil War-era dresses, sutlers display their wares and drummer boys … well, drum. Union Garrison event 9 a.m.-5 p.m. today, 9 a.m.-noon Aug. 2, Fort Clinch State Park, 2601 Atlantic Ave., Fernandina Beach. Park entrance fee: $6 per vehicle; $2 per person Fort admission; 277-7274, floridastateparks.org.

AUGUST 2

JACKSONVILLE SUNS The Suns kick off a homestand against the Pensacola Blue Wahoos at 6:05 p.m. tonight (Kids Run Bases, Library Night), 7:05 p.m. Aug. 3 (Bellybuster Monday, St. Johns County Night), Aug. 4 (Folio Weekly 50-Cent Family Feast Night), Aug. 5 (Winn-Dixie Wednesday) and Aug. 6 (College ID Discount, College Football Night, Thursday Night Throwdown). All the action is at Bragan Field, Baseball Grounds, 301 Randolph Blvd., Downtown. Tickets $7.50-$25.50; 358-2846, jaxsuns.com. COUNTING CROWS, CITIZEN COPE, HOLLIS BROWN ’90s altrock dudes and college-boy-dread-shakers Counting Crows play at 6 p.m. at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 209-0367, $40-$80.

Paint the town or at least the heavily wooded areas at Paintball Adventures’ Camden Road facilities, featuring five wooded fields, multiple forts, and, of course “The Eagle’s Nest.” AUTHORITY ZERO, COUNTERPUNCH, RUBEDO, ONE SMALL STEP Arizona punk heroes Authority Zero perform precisely when told at 8 p.m. at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $15.

AUGUST 3

THE APPLESEED CAST, DIKEMBE, ANNABEL Lawrence, Kansas indie rockers The Appleseed Cast play at 7:30 p.m. at 1904 Music Hall, 19 N. Ocean St., Downtown, $13.

AUGUST 5

FIRST WEDNESDAY ART WALK The downtown art walk, held 5-9 p.m. every first Wed., features more than 13 live music venues, more than 13 hotspots open after 9 p.m. and 50 total participating venues, spanning 15 blocks in Downtown Jacksonville. iloveartwalk.com. FREE MUSIC BY THE SEA Live music by Chillula, with dinner available from Mango Mango, 6 p.m. food service, concert at 7 p.m. at St. Augustine Beach Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, free, 347-8007, thecivicassociation.org.

AUGUST 6

SCARAB (Journey tribute) “Don’t Stop Believing … that this is the actual band.” Journey tribute band Scarab performs at 8 p.m. at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473, $10.

AUGUST 7

SINBAD This clean-talking funnyman, who’s starred in comedies like Houseguest, First Kid, and Jingle All the Way, is on at 8 p.m. at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $35-$50. FIRST FRIDAY ART WALK The tour of Art Galleries of St. Augustine is held every first Fri., with more than 15 galleries participating, 829-0065. COSMIC CONCERTS Laser shows are Laser Ipop 7 p.m., Laser Wish You Were Here 8 p.m., Laser Retro 9 p.m. and Laser Hypnotica 10 p.m. in Bryan-Gooding Planetarium, Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank; online tickets $5, 396-7062, moshplanetarium.org. GENERAL TSO’S FURY, BRICKS GRENADE This evening of punk rock pleasantries begins promptly (no tardiness, please!) at 8 p.m. at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $8. BHAGAVAN DAS The Vedanta spiritual teacher and yogic hotshot is featured today through Aug. 9 with a satsang, kirtan, and nada yoga workshop at Karpeles Manuscript Library Museum, 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992, $25 advance tickets for satsang and kirtan; $30 at the door; $50 advance for workshop; $55 at the door; $85 advance for three-day pass; $95 at the door.

AUGUST 8

The Elvis Anniversary Bash: SCOT BRUCE, MIKE ALBERT, BIG E BAND This concert, which celebrates the 59th anniversary of Elvis Presley’s 1956 concert at The Florida Theatre, features Elvis impersonators Bruce and Albert along with the Big E Band, at 2 p.m. at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $29.50-$39.50. JACKSONVILLE ROLLERGIRLS The Jacksonville RollerGirls present a double-header, with the New Jax City vs. Arch Rival and the Misfits vs. Gatekeepers, 6:30 p.m. at Mandarin Skate Station, 3461 Kori Rd., Mandarin, jacksonvillerollergirls.com. JACKSONVILLE SHARKS vs. NEW ORLEANS VOODOO 80s Night theme; game starts at 7 p.m. at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., Downtown, $12-$133, 621-0700, jaxsharks.com. JOY BLOODY JOY, URSULA Led by singer-guitarist Ryan Friday-Black and bassist Mike Perez, local shimmer-gloom band Joy Blood Joy plays at 8 p.m. at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $5. ARTRAGEOUS ART WALK Downtown Fernandina Beach galleries are open for self-guided tours, 5:30-8:30 p.m. every second Sat., 277-0717, ameliaisland.com.

AUGUST 11

CHRISTINA PERRI, COLBIE CAILLAT, RACHEL PLATTEN Pop singing sensations Perri and Caillat perform at 7:30 p.m. at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $40-$76. BASEMENT, ADVENTURES, LVL UP, PALEHOUND UK metalcore band Basement plays at 6 p.m. at 1904 Music Hall, 19 N. Ocean St., Downtown, $15. JAX BEACH ART WALK More than 30 local artists display works, 5-9 p.m. every second Tue., along First Street between Beach Boulevard and Fifth Avenue North, Jax Beach, betterjaxbeach.com/jax-beach-art-walk.html.

AUGUST 12

JACKSONVILLE ARMADA VS. CAROLINA RAILHAWKS Local football faves Jacksonville Armada take on the Carolina Railhawks at 7:30 p.m. at the Baseball Grounds, 301 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., Downtown, tickets start at $14, 633-6100, ticketmaster.com. FREE MUSIC BY THE SEA Live music by Jimmy Parrish & the Waves, with dinner available from Red frog & McToad’s, 6 p.m. food service, concert at 7 p.m. at St. Augustine Beach Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, free, 347-8007, thecivicassociation.org.

AUGUST 13

HippieFest 2015: The FAMILY STONE, RICK DERRINGER, MITCH RYDER & the DETROIT WHEELS, and BADFINGER with JOEY MOLLAND Baby Boomers will go ballistic at this concert featuring ’60s and ’70s greats at 8 p.m. at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $39-$69.

AUGUST 14

THE ROCKY HORROR SHOW Let’s do the Time Warp – yet again! The campy musical classic, about a cross-dressing transvestite scientist and the swingin’ happenings at his mysterious castle, is staged at 8 p.m. at 1904 Music Hall, 19 N. Ocean St., Downtown, $25-$35. The show is also staged at 8 p.m. Aug. 15, 21 and 22. DARYL HANCE, EUGENE SNOWDEN & FRIENDS Former founding member of Mofro and Northeast Florida neo-swamp rocker Hance plays at 8 p.m. at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, 699-8186, $8. HOR!ZEN These local rockers kill it at 10 p.m. at The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611. DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts and crafts and local produce are offered 10 a.m.-2 p.m. every Fri. at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 353-1188. MAD COWFORD IMPROV Weekly PG-13-rated improv shows, based on audience suggestion, are held at 8:15 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at Northstar Substation, 119 E. Bay St., Downtown, $5, 233-2359, madcowford.com.

AUGUST 15

The Women Who Rock Show: MAMA BLUE, KIM RETEGUIZ & THE BLACK CAT BONES, THE CAT McWILLIAMS BAND This concert, featuring the best female musical acts in Northeast Florida, kicks off at 8 p.m. at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473, $10. JACKSONVILLE ARMADA VS. ATLANTA SILVERBACKS The Jacksonville Armada take on the Atlanta Silverbacks at 7:30 p.m. at the Baseball Grounds, 301 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., Downtown, tickets start at $14, 633-6100, ticketmaster.com.

AUGUST 16

“WEIRD AL” YANKOVIC The Sultan of Satire, the Paragon of Parody, the … well, you get the idea. Musical humorist extraordinaire Yankovic performs at 7:30 p.m. at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $35-$65. SUBLIME WITH ROME, REBELUTION, PEPPER, MICKEY AVALON “Pardon me, old chap, do you happen to have the time?” “Why, yes, my good man. It’s 4:20!” By Jove, these dab-lovin’ Daddy-Os perform at 4:30 p.m. (10 minutes after 4:20) at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 209-0367, $30-$54.50.

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ADDING SOME GREEN TO YOUR FUND-LESS SUMMER Experience Northeast Florida parks’ extensive (not expensive) offerings of nature

SURE, ANY YAHOO WITH $30 can take the family to AMC Regency Theater to see the latest blockbuster, but it takes an adventurous spirit and some curiosity to explore trails unknown. It’s a cost-conscious way of building a sense of connection to Northeast Florida’s natural landscape, and you’re getting sunshine and fresh air, man! Duval County boasts the largest urban park system in the United States (more than 400 sites throughout the city); with waterways, arboretums, gardens, fitness centers, pools, environmental outposts, Northeast Florida’s parks offer more than enough options. “A number of studies over the years have shown that parks have an impact on a community’s economic development and quality of life, but that can be just words for people who haven’t experienced what parks have to offer,” says Pam Roman, spokesperson for the city of Jacksonville’s Parks Department. “Our parks can be real destinations for adventure. You can visit historical sites and natural areas; gather in neighborhood parks for playtime or family picnics; meet other families for sporting events, or just find a quiet It’s not all about The Poles. HANNA PARK also has a 60-acre freshwater lake and pristine hiking trails.

spot to enjoy a book … we try to make it easy for people to enjoy the parks.” A majority of Northeast Florida parks provide free wellness classes, swim lessons, outdoor camps, senior programs, and myriad educational opportunities. For those participating in the FUNdless summer, we’d advise making a plan to check off as many Northeast Florida parks from your list between Memorial Day and Labor Day. To help you get started, we picked out a few of our favorites, some lesser-known parks, and some with cheap/free activities for the family.

ST. JOHNS COUNTY

For a beachy St. Augustine experience, try ANASTASIA STATE PARK. Anastasia has 1,600plus acres of rich ecosystems and abundant wildlife, four miles of pristine beach, camping, hiking, swimming, beachcombing, birdwatching, and self-guided nature trails leading through the maritime hammock and onto ancient sand dunes. In addition, visitors can trek to the Coquina Quarry, an archaeological site where coquina rock was mined to help construct the nearby Castillo de San Marcos National Monument. Guests can rent bicycles, paddleboards, kayaks, sail boats and canoes. floridastateparks.org/park/anastasia Keep heading south from Anastasia on A1A and you’ll find FORT MATANZAS NATIONAL MONUMENT. Designated as such with the same pen stroke as the Statue of Liberty, Matanzas includes a half-mile boardwalk nature trail through the woods, and a picnic area set among spreading live oak trees. Take the free ferry to Rattlesnake Island and explore the old Spanish fort (the original national monument site). nps.gov/foma

CLAY COUNTY

For wildlife enthusiasts, just southwest of Jacksonville is JENNINGS STATE FOREST. Located in the northwest sector of the county 24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MAY 27-JUNE 2, 2015

on a sprawling 23,995 acres, the park features swimming, hiking, bicycling, canoeing, boating, horseback riding and wildlife viewing. The forest is open to regulated hunting and fishing under the direction of the Florida Fish & Wildlife Conservation Commission, and the forest closes to all other recreational activities during hunting periods. floridaforestservice.com If for no other reason, visit RONNIE VAN ZANT PARK for its namesake. Van Zant is a 90-acre park featuring a large modular playground, two basketball courts, four tennis courts, a soccer field, a softball field, eight covered pavilions with picnic areas, a volleyball court, a fishing pond with four fishing piers, and a Frisbee golf course. There are two covered pavilions for large family functions. claycountygov.com/parks Those looking for rural parks should go to MIKE ROESS GOLD HEAD BRANCH STATE PARK just north of Keystone Heights, which offers a number of amenities designed for families (or those looking for respite from their family, we suppose). At 2,000 acres, it’s the county’s major regional park, offering camping, picnicking, swimming, fishing, nature trails, canoeing and lakefront cabins. floridstateparks.org/MikeRoess

DUVAL COUNTY

CASTAWAY ISLAND PRESERVE Located on the Intracoastal Waterway off San Pablo Road not far from Beach Boulevard, Castaway Island has interactive trails that feature animal footprints and interpretive signs. The park also has a canoe/kayak launch, multiple picnic tables and grills, an amphitheater-style education center and two beautiful overlooks with pristine glimpses of Northeast Florida’s beautiful salt marshes. coj.net/departments History buffs have two options for exploration with CAMP MILTON HISTORIC PRESERVE and WALTER JONES HISTORICAL

PARK. The site of the southern-most Civil War camp, Camp Milton offers a glimpse back in time with replica cracker-style houses, a boardwalk to help visitors explore the surviving earthworks, a reconstructed bridge, and plenty of historical panels. There’s a shaded nature trail that winds through cinnamon ferns and large oaks. Camp Milton is considered the center trailhead for the Jacksonville-Baldwin Rail Trail, a converted railway line that’s one of the best out-of-thecity bike trails. Walter Jones gives visitors a glimpse of old Mandarin with the Mandarin Museum and replica farmhouse from the area’s early days. The park also beckons nature lovers to its beautiful trails and boardwalks with unique vistas of the St. Johns River. coj.net Shred or die at JaxParks’ CUBA HUNTER PARK on Emerson Street in between I-95 and Beach Boulevard and ED AUSTIN REGIONAL PARK near the intersection of Monument and McCormick roads — both great destinations for skateboarders; both have skate parks with all manner of ramps and rails. coj.net Shredders of a different stroke are fixtures in the waves off the beaches of destinations KATHRYN ABBEY HANNA PARK and HUGUENOT MEMORIAL PARK. Aside from their ocean accesses, both parks feature exceptional camping, hiking and nature trails. Hanna has a 60-acre freshwater lake for fishing and nonmotorized vehicles, an event rental facility and an extensive system of mountain bike trails. Huguenot, off Heckscher Drive, is part of the Great Florida Birding Trail, a 2,000-mile-long collection of protected bird habitats, and allows vehicle access to the beach. coj.net Kayakers should check out BLUE CYPRESS PARK near Jacksonville University and REDDIE POINT PRESERVE in Arlington. Blue Cypress has a little bit of something for everyone. In the true sense of a community park, Blue Cypress offers tennis courts, soccer and multipurpose fields, golf and foot golf, both

paved and natural walking trails, a kayak/ canoe launch and wooden boardwalk that takes you alongside the St. Johns River for gorgeous views. Reddie Point Preserve, part of Timucuan Trail Parks Foundation, makes for a great escape, even though it’s close to Downtown. The park has a shoreline kayak/canoe launch and nature trails through open flatlands and heavy trees. Its pier provides a panoramic view of the St. Johns River from Downtown to the port. timucuantrailparksfoundation.org Landlocked nature lovers will enjoy Springfield’s CONFEDERATE PARK & PLAYGROUND and Ortega’s TILLIE K. FOWLER REGIONAL PARK. Confederate Park is the ideal urban oasis, running along Hogan Creek, with three distinct areas: a historical portion with statues, a fountain and beautiful rose arboretum; a recreation area with basketball courts and a play area with whimsical features to delight the younger folks; and a dog park that’s often considered the neighborhood gathering place. Tillie K. Fowler Park, on Jacksonville’s Westside, has more than 500 acres of natural Florida trails to explore. The facility includes a nature center, butterfly garden, extensive play and picnic areas, a number of hiking and biking trails and a 35-foot observation tower that takes visitors eye-level with tree tops.

NASSAU COUNTY

JOHN MUIR ECOLOGICAL PARK, in Yulee along S.R. 200 west of U.S. 17, offers a boardwalk through undisturbed woodlands. It’s part of Muir’s historic “Thousand Mile Walk to the Gulf,” that began on the coast and ended with his arrival in Cedar Key on Oct. 23, 1867. The park is the only one in Florida that commemorates his accomplishment. Admission is free. Keith Marks kmarks@folioweekly.com

MAD COWFORD IMPROV Weekly PG-13-rated improv shows, based on audience suggestion, are held at 8:15 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at Northstar Substation, 119 E. Bay St., Downtown, $5, 233-2359, madcowford.com.

AUGUST 22 MOTORCYCLE SWAP MEET A variety of motorcycle accessories, live music and food are featured from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at St. Augustine Flea Market, 2495 S.R. 207, 824-4210, staugustinefleamarket.com. The meet is held the third Sun. of every month. NASHVILLE PUSSY, VALIENT THORR Prepare for a night of ass-kicking rock. As in “rock music,” not “hanging out listening to your rock tumbler,” when Nashville Pussy brings forth the rockage at 8 p.m. at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $15.

AUGUST 17

HOSPITALITY SCHOLARSHIP GOLF INVITATIONAL The North Florida Hotel & Lodging Association holds its annual Claude Collins Charity Golf Invitational, with a 9 a.m. shotgun start, at Ponte Vedra Inn & Club, 200 Ponte Vedra Blvd., Ponte Vedra; proceeds benefit the scholarship program, northfloridalodging.com.

AUGUST 18

JACKSONVILLE SUNS The Suns kick off a homestand against the Mobile BayBears at 7:05 p.m. tonight (Folio Weekly 50-Cent Family Feast Night), Aug. 19 (WinnDixie Wednesday) and Aug. 20 (College ID Discount, Thursday Night Throwdown), Aug. 21 (Used Car Giveaway

THE GREAT SOUTHERN TAILGATE CLASSIC The sixth annual Great Southern Tailgate Classic, featuring live music, tailgatestyle food fare and sports memorabilia, a watermelon eating contest, kids’ activities, and craft beer tastings, is held today and Aug. 23 in Fernandina Beach. For a schedule of events and bands, go to greatsoutherntailgateclassic.com.

AUGUST 24

LEISURE CRUISE The innovative pop duo plays at 8 p.m. at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $10.

AUGUST 25

DONAVON FRANKENREITER Surf dude troubadour Frankenreiter performs at 8 p.m. at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473, $20.

AUGUST 26

FREE MUSIC BY THE SEA Live music by Those Guys, with dinner available from Viola’s, 6 p.m. food service, concert at 7 p.m. at St. Augustine Beach Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, free, 347-8007, thecivicassociation.org. The concerts continue through Oct. 18; proceeds benefit Betty Griffin House.

AUGUST 27

MOSH AFTER DARK BYOB Rooftop Painting Workshop is held 6:30 p.m. at Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank, $12 for members, $15 for nonmembers, 396-6674 ext. 230, themosh.org.

Dozens of bands including cornhusking rockers 311 and disaffiliated-Hasidic-Jewish-rapper Matisyahu help make the $35 Connection Festival ticket one of the best values of the summer festival season.

Night) and Aug. 22 (Bark in the Park, Christmas in August, Cap Giveaway). All the action is at Bragan Field, Baseball Grounds, 301 Randolph Blvd., Downtown. Tickets $7.50$25.50; 358-2846, jaxsuns.com. The Suns take on the Mississippi Braves at 7:05 p.m. Sept. 3, 4 and 5 to wrap up the regular season.

AUGUST 19

FREE MUSIC BY THE SEA Live music by Amy Alysia & the Soul Operation, with dinner available from Salt Life Food Shack, 6 p.m. food service, concert at 7 p.m. at St. Augustine Beach Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, free, 347-8007, thecivicassociation.org.

AUGUST 20

LYLE LOVETT & HIS LARGE BAND Grammy Award-winning neo-country singer-songwriter Lovett performs at 7:30 p.m. at Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts, St. Johns River State College, 283 College Dr., Orange Park, 276-6750, $53-$84. JAXSON’S NIGHT MARKET Street food vendors, craft beer, local farmers, and artisans and craft makers are featured from 5:30-9 p.m. today and every third Thur. at Hemming Park, Downtown, facebook.com/JaxsonsNightMarket.

TIM McGRAW, BILLY CURRINGTON, CHASE BRYANT Country megastar McGraw plays at 7 p.m. at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., Downtown, 630-3900, $30.75-$60.75. NORTH BEACHES ART WALK Galleries of Atlantic and Neptune beaches are open 5-9 p.m. every third Thur. from Sailfish Drive in Atlantic Beach to Neptune Beach and Town Center, 753-9594, nbaw.org.

AUGUST 21

Reunion: Campout Concert Series: STRATOSPHERE ALL-STARS, ZOOGMA, GREENHOUSE LOUNGE X2, DYNOHUNTER, SIR CHARLES, VLAD THE INHALER, MZG, S.P.O.R.E., BELLS AND ROBES, MATTHEW CONNOR The two-day, jam-band-scented fest takes place today and Aug. 22 at Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park, 3076 95th Dr., Live Oak, 386-364-1683, $60 advance; $75 at the gate; early bird tickets $50 through June 1, suwanneereunion.com. GINA SAPUTO, THE JOHN LUMPKIN TRIO Jazz vocalist Saputo performs with the Lumpkin Trio at 8 p.m. at The Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 632-5555, $14; $50 includes champagne toast.

AUGUST 28

TRIBAL SEEDS, THE EXPANDERS, ARISE ROOTS California reggae band Tribal Seeds performs at 6 p.m. at Mavericks at The Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 356-1110, $20. THE OUTLAWS, BLACKHAWK Southern rock kings The Outlaws tighten up their aromatic headbands at 8 p.m. at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $35-$55. MAD COWFORD IMPROV Weekly PG-13-rated improv shows, based on audience suggestion, are held at 8:15 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at Northstar Substation, 119 E. Bay St., Downtown, $5, 233-2359, madcowford.com.

AUGUST 29

STEVE FORBERT TRIO Critically lauded singer-songwriter Forbert performs at 7:30 p.m. at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., San Marco, 352-7008, $10. UPTOWN SATURDAY NIGHT The self-guided tour features galleries, antique stores and shops open from 5-9 p.m. every last Sat. in St. Augustine’s San Marco District, 824-3152. JACKSONVILLE ARMADA VS. SAN ANTONIO SCORPIONS The Jacksonville Armada take on the San Antonio Scorpions at 7:30 p.m. at the Baseball Grounds, 301 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., Downtown, tickets start at $14, 633-6100, ticketmaster.com.

AUGUST 30

RICK SPRINGFIELD, LOVERBOY, THE ROMANTICS Summer’s almost over. Have you fulfilled your CRR (Classic Rock Requirements)? Fear not! This triple play of early-’80s rock starts at 5 p.m. at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 209-0367, $35-$79.50. MIKE SHACKELFORD This local singer-songwriter fave hosts Acoustic Night at 6 p.m. at Bull Park, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-5828. SOUTH PACIFIC St. Augustine High School presents Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein’s classic musical, about romance in the Pacific islands during WWII, today through Sept. 3 at 3205 Varella Ave., St. Augustine, 547-8530.

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Our Picks COMEDY MARLON WAYANS

Funnyman Marlon Wayans first rose to comedic fame when he appeared on his family-run TV show, In Living Color. In the ’90s, Wayans and brother Shawn co-starred in the FOX series The Wayans Bros., as well as the 1996 cult classic and guilty pleasure, Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood. Wayans co-wrote and co-starred in the Scary Movies franchise, a series that was critically panned but hit serious box office bank. 8 p.m. May 28, 8 and 10 p.m. May 29 and 30 and 7 p.m. May 31 at the Comedy Zone, Mandarin, $30-$35, comedyzone.com.

Reasons to leave the house this week

RIP THIS JOINT BARNYARD STOMPERS

The South Texas duo known as the Barnyard Stompers pride themselves on banging out their signature take on 21st-century Outlaw Country music, with surefire future hymnals like “Devil on My Shoulder” and “Truck Driving Son of a Bitch.” At their gig here this week, local honky tonkin’ gurus Laurel Lee & the Escapees open. 9 p.m. May 30, Planet Sarbez!, St. Augustine, 342-0632, $5.

MUSIC FROM BIG PINK (FLOYD) BRIT FLOYD

The British tribute band behemoth Brit Floyd is an 11-piece group that recreates the music of Pink Floyd with a light show and multimedia bells-and-whistles – including a giant inflatable pig! – that nearly rivals their prog rock forefathers. While some tribute bands are doomed to chug it out in neighborhood bars, Brit Floyd is an in-demand concert act around the globe, consistently bringing the goods to their fellow Floyd acolytes. 8 p.m. June 2 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $39.50-$69.50.

FOOTLOOSE LOCAL DANCE

The local performance season is cooling down a bit, there are two offerings this week for Northeast Florida dance fans. Jacksonville Dance Theatre (pictured) presents its third annual repertory concert, An Evening to Move You, at 7:30 p.m. May 30 at Episcopal School of Jacksonville, San Marco, $25; $15 seniors and military, jacksonvilledancetheatre.org. The Jacksonville Center of the Arts (JCA) presents a modern-day version of Stravinsky’s mythology-fueled masterpiece The Firebird, at 6 p.m. May 31 at Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts, Orange Park, $15-$25, jacksonvillecentreofthearts.org.

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NEW KIND OF KICK JACKSONVILLE ARMADA FC

The kickoff for local NFL football heroes and sometimes-“sad sacks” (pun!) Jacksonville Jaguars is just around the corner, BUT our otherr hometown football faves (that’s “soccer” to you, Bubba!), the Jacksonville Armada, take on the Carolina Railhawks this weekend. The recent matches have had a boss turnout so come show your support. 7:30 p.m. May 30, Baseball Grounds, Downtown, $15-$70, ticketmaster.com.

MAY 27-JUNE 2, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27

A&E // FILM

DRONE ATTACK

An impressive performance by Ethan Hawke keeps this shaky 21st-century war story on target

s it OK to be cowardly if you’re saving lives? of war has changed since World War II. The premise of Good Kill focuses on aerial The fact that Jack later admits the drone attacks in the Middle East that are technology was inspired by X-Box is not a flown remotely from an air-conditioned trailer surprise. Logically, this seems like a win for in Las Vegas. The benefits to U.S. military all involved, except the targets. But what’s personnel are obvious: Pilots aren’t in danger, difficult to assess is the psychological toll it multiple points of view are provided, and the takes, and how the murder of individuals enemy never knows when a strike is imminent. 10,000 miles away who never see it coming in some way feels … unjust. Unfair. “Drones aren’t going anywhere,” Just plain wrong. Is it an act of Lt. Col. Jack Johns (Bruce GOOD KILL cowardice to kill someone from Greenwood) says, adding, “in fact, such a great distance? The reality they’re going everywhere.” It is not **@@ is, the enemy wouldn’t hesitate a mistake that as he says this, there’s Rated R to kill if the American soldiers an oversized American flag behind were right there, and it’s not him, and a roomful of eager soldiers American soldiers’ faults their technology is in front of him. Writer/director Andrew Niccol more evolved. Still, it can be a tough moral is clearly channeling the similar “call to arms” pill to swallow. speech in Patton (1970), and that evocation For Maj. Tom Egan (Ethan Hawke), alone is enough to remind us how much the art

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Dan Hudak mail@folioweekly.com

MAGIC LANTERNS

HAMMER TIME A REVIEWER IN THE VILLAGE VOICE once wrote about Mickey Spillane, author of the Mike Hammer novels, that “Spillane is like eating takeout fried chicken: so much fun to consume, but you can feel those lowlife grease-induced zits rising before you’ve finished the first drumstick.” I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or not, but love him or hate him (it’s usually either/or for fans and critics), Mickey Spillane definitely made his mark. In The Fifties, David Halberstam’s penetrating chronicle of that decade in American culture, he points out that in 1956, seven of the 10 best-selling fiction titles were by Spillane, the only seven books he’d written up to that time, all but one featuring tough-guy private eye Mike Hammer! (By the time he died in 2008, Spillane’s output included 26 novels, numerous short stories, and even comic books – where he actually got his start in the ’40s with yarns for Batman, Superman, and Captain America, among others.) Between 1953 and 1982, Hollywood crafted seven films around Spillane’s hardboiled hero. Though four are inconsequential, one is a classic (1954’s Kiss Me Deadly), another a genuine curiosity (1963’s The Girl Hunters), and the last an entertaining ’80s exploitation of sex and violence (1982’s I, the Jury). Based on the author’s first book (which had already been made as a forgettable B-flick in 1953), I, the Jury stars Armand Assante as Hammer, a hairy-chested avenger who’s after the sorry bastards who killed his friend. Along the way, he beds a bevy of lovely ladies and annihilates a cadre of scumbags. Nudity and violence are rampant in the flagrant manner of ’80s movies, but the ending is true to the novel, Mike Hammer in a nutshell.

everything about remote-controlling the destruction of human life is awful. He served six tours of duty as an F-16 pilot in the Middle East, and he yearns to get back up in the air. His PTSD is exacerbated by excessive drinking and orders he finds increasingly difficult to follow. Ordinarily, soldiers long to be home with their families when deployed; he sees his wife (January Jones) and kids every night and couldn’t be more miserable. But how do you make that switch? Tom goes from killing supposed terrorists and whatever civilians are unlucky enough to be in the vicinity to, a short drive later, trying to be a good husband to his wife and a good dad to his kids. Compartmentalization is one thing, but that’s a tough, tall order for anyone. Ironically, Tom has become a terrorist in some ways himself. He carries out attacks that he knows will result in the murder of innocent civilians, and he does it because he’s following orders. And, for what it’s worth, he also lives in a desert. His fellow soldiers (Zoë Kravitz, Jake Abel, Dylan Kenin) each deal with the ethicality of their actions in their own way, and none is an asset to Tom, who believes the only way he can be happy again is to get back up in the air. Good Kill is different from the typical war movie we’re used to, and fascinating because it feels feasibly real. Hawke gives the character just enough emotion to make it clear that he’s getting torn apart from within — this is a master class in restraint, and is impressively effective. But the movie overall is a bit dull. Mental anguish is a tough thing to convey on screen, and regardless of Hawke’s best efforts, Niccol doesn’t always succeed in making it captivating. Still, it’s worth a look if only because it presents a new side to the war on terror that’s undeniably current.

In Hammer’s arms is lovely Charlotte (Barbara Carrera), the acknowledged murderer as well as Hammer’s lover. Shedding her clothes, she nuzzles against him, trying to convince him not to turn her in or kill her, but he plugs her with his trusty .45 anyway. “How could you?” she gasps. “It was easy,” he says. Nineteen years earlier, in one of the more unusual cinematic ventures in modern film, Mickey Spillane himself played Mike Hammer in The Girl Hunters. The beefy author isn’t half-bad as his fictional badass, though the plot is substantially different from the book. Hammer is going after an elusive Commie assassin who, it turns out, is teamed up with luscious blonde Shirley Eaton, who would play the iconic gold-plated girl the next year in Goldfinger. Hammer doesn’t actually pull the trigger on her this time, instead tricking her into doing the deed herself (with a shotgun, no less)! The best of the bunch (though Spillane

himself reportedly hated it) is Robert Aldrich’s Kiss Me Deadly, described by one reviewer as “the definitive, apocalyptic, nihilistic, science-fiction film noir of all time – at the close of the classic noir period.” Ralph Meeker plays Hammer as a sadistic but righteous bully who doesn’t hesitate to use his devoted secretary Velda (Maxine Cooper) as sexual bait in his work. This version has Hammer involved in a search for a missing box of deadly uranium, a plot twist that inspired Alex Cox’s Repo Man (1984), among others. The movie’s cataclysmic ambiguous conclusion has also spawned reams of interpretation, due in large part to alternate edits of the ending. Meeker’s Hammer is not a nice man by anyone’s standards (even Spillane’s), but he is a survivor in Aldrich’s gritty B&W world. And he doesn’t take guff from anybody. Neither did Mickey Spillane. Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com

FILM RATINGS

ET: EXTRATERRESTRIAL **** BACK TO THE FUTURE ***@ SUMMER CATCH **@@ SUPERBABIES: BABY GENIUSES 2 *@@@

SCREENINGS AROUND TOWN

FREE LAUREL & HARDY FILMS Leave ’em Laughing Tent,” local chapter of International Laurel & Hardy Appreciation Society, shows L&H shorts 7-8:45 p.m. May 27 at Beaches Branch Library, 600 Third St., Neptune Beach, free; free bottled water; 314-5801, leaveemlaughing.moviefever.com. FREE MOONLIGHT MOVIES X-Men, 9 p.m. May 29 at SeaWalk Pavilion, First Street North, Jax Beach, priproductions.com. Free admission; bring blankets or lawnchairs; concessions available. SUN-RAY CINEMA Mad Max: Fury Road and Tomorrowland at Sun-Ray Cinema, 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. THE CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared and Revenge of the Creature from the Black Lagoon, at Corazon Cinema, 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe. com. WGHF IMAX THEATER Tomorrowland The IMAX Experience, Galapagos 3D and Humpback Whales 3D screen at World Golf Village Hall of Fame IMAX Theater, St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com.

NOW SHOWING

THE 100-YEAR-OLD-MAN WHO CLIMBED OUT THE WINDOW AND DISAPPEARED Not Rated 100 gives us just what we’d expect: A senior citizen who takes it on the lam from a retirement home, encountering new adventures while recounting the fabulous occurrences of his past. Plus, it’s Swedish, so it has to be good! — Steve Schneider THE AGE OF ADALINE Rated PG-13 Blake Lively plays a woman who develops a condition that allows her to go through the 20th Century without getting any older, affording her the kinds of adventures only perpetual youth can bestow. The cast includes Harrison Ford, Michiel Huisman, Ellen Burstyn and Kathy Baker. — S.S. ALOHA Rated PG-13 14 years have gone by since The New Yorker’s David Denby declared Cameron Crowe needed to rethink his reasons for making movies, implying that, after Vanilla Sky, we ran out of reasons to see them. But Crowe continues to release flicks – maybe not quite as frequently, but still with a solid, once-every-half-decade regularity. Crowe can still get A-listers, which is why this puts Bradley Cooper on Emma Stone’s romantic radar. Cooper plays a defense contractor working on the launch of a weapons satellite. In the process, he falls for Stone’s character, an Air Force pilot. Will they cement their attraction the Crowe way, by exchanging mix tapes? Probably not; that’s so early aughts. — S.S. AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON ***@ Rated PG-13 Tony Stark’s villainy is externalized in Ultron, an AI creation he’s worked on for years that he can bring to fruition now that the Avengers have reacquired Loki’s scepter from what’s left of Hydra (as told in the opening sequence); something to do with the extra computing power the scepter offers. Ultron (the voice of James Spader) has some of Tony’s (Robert Downey Jr.) attitudes, but a glitch in its “birth” makes it go cyber-insane; it extrapolates Tony’s notion of world peace to mean “a planet without humans.” Now it’s loose and must be stopped. Costars Mark Ruffalo, Scarlett Johansson, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans, Don Cheadle, Jeremy Renner and Paul Bettany. Whew! — MaryAnn Johanson BOMBAY VELVET Not Rated The crime/drama/thriller costars Ranbir Kapoor, Anushka Sharma and Karan Johar. In Hindi. EX MACHINA ***@ Rated R It’s cerebral sci-fi, well executed by first-time director Alex Garland. Set in the near future, it expounds on the premise of the possibility of falling in love with artificial intelligence, by providing a voice, face, and partial body to the android, and the results are fascinating. Caleb (Domhnall Gleeson) is a nerdy computer programmer at a search engine tech company. He’s thrilled when he “wins” the chance to join the owner of the company, Nathan (Oscar Isaac), for a week at Nathan’s research facility/home. Caleb is ostensibly there because Nathan has created a robot he named Ava (Alicia Vikander). Nathan believes Ava is capable of emotions, and Nathan needs Caleb to test her/it. — Dan Hudak FURIOUS 7 ***@ Rated PG-13 137 minutes of pure, unbridled adrenaline.

A&E // FILM LISTINGS

Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham) breaks into federal agent Hobbs’ (Dwayne Johnson) office to get info on Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel). He learns Dom’s “family” is just fine: Brian (Paul Walker) and wife Mia (Jordana Brewster) are settling down with their son, Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) is still trying to get her memory back, and Tej (Ludacris) and Roman (Tyrese Gibson) are still clowning around. Costars Nathalie Emmanuel, Djimon Hounsou, Kurt Russell and the late Paul Walker’s two real-life brothers, Caleb and Cody, who are body doubles and stand-ins for their brother. — D.H. GOOD KILL **@@ Rated R Reviewed in this issue. HOME Rated PG HBO’s The Normal Heart showed Jim Parsons can handle more than The Big Bang Theory. So what did he choose for his all-important transition to mainstream cinema? Lilo and Sheldon! You can hear a whole mess of Dr. Cooper in his voicing of Oh, an alien who strikes up a friendship with a human girl. Any more safe moves like this, and I’ll claim a violation of our Roommate Agreement. — S.S. HOT PURSUIT **G@ Rated PG-13 As expected, Sofia Vergara plays a version of her screen persona; the more talented Reese Witherspoon takes top billing but plays second fiddle as Cooper, a bythe-book San Antonio cop. Her boss, Captain Emmett (John Carroll Lynch), asks her to assist Detective Jackson (Richard T. Jones), a federal marshal, to escort wanted criminal Felipe (Vincent Laresca) and his wife Daniella (Vergara) to Dallas to testify in the trial of a drug lord (Joaquin Cosio). Soon the marshal and husband are dead, and Cooper and Daniella are framed for the murders, so they go on the run. Chasing them are crooked cops, thugs, and the state of Texas. — D.H. LITTLE BOY Rated PG-13 Roma Downey and Mark Burnett are executive producers of this faith-based homily about a California tyke who becomes convinced performing acts of charity will move God to end World War II and bring his dad home. — S.S. MAD MAX: FURY ROAD ***@ Rated R This is 120 minutes of noise and action, an unrelenting assault on the eyes and ears that feels invasive, as if director George Miller wants us to experience every bone-crushing moment. The barbaric savages in the postapocalyptic hellhole where the movie is set stop at nothing to kill one another and claim the few valuables (like water and ammunition) left. Our morality aligns more with ex-cop Max (Tom Hardy) and renegade Furiosa (Charlize Theron) because they’re escorting a group of innocent girls away from villain Immortan Joe (Hugh Keays-Byrne). — D.H. PITCH PERFECT 2 ***@ Rated PG-13 Reviewed in this issue.

POLTERGEIST Rated PG-13 Every now and then, I get really P.O.ed at the thought of somebody befouling Steven Spielberg’s classic Poltergeist – one of the greatest haunted-house movies ever made – but then I remember Spielberg himself screwed up Robert Wise’s The Haunting, and suddenly life seems back in balance. And the new P-geist has some impressive credits, including a starring role for the always-fascinating Sam Rockwell, direction by Gil Kenan and a screenplay by Pulitzerwinning playwright David Lindsay-Abaire. So maybe this does have a reason to exist beyond reinterpreting classic material for a generation that can’t fi gure out what those fuzzy lines on the TV screen were supposed to be. — S.S. SAN ANDREAS Rated PG-13 The trick of programming a summer-movie slate is figuring out which spectacles the majority of the American public would most like to see. A mighty earthquake lays waste to our nation’s major exporter of table wines and nude selfies. Helicopter pilot Dwayne Johnson watches in horror as L.A. takes the hit, then realizes immediately what he’s duty-bound to do: Fly up to San Fran to rescue the daughter who wants nothing to do with him. See, it’s a subtle metaphor for the terrors parents face when they let their kids run off to communities so warped by sexual libertinism they’d make Sean Penn their elected representative. Ex-wife Carla Gugino is along for the ride, so we’re guaranteed lots of healthy mutual recrimination as stuff goes crunch. Director Brad Peyton cut his blockbuster teeth on sequels to Cats and Dogs and Journey to the Center of the Earth, making San Andreas an acid test for launching an original franchise. — S.S.

TOMORROWLAND *G@@ Rated PG Reviewed in this issue. THE WATER DIVINER Rated R Russell Crowe directs his favorite actor – himself! – in a historical drama about an Australian widower/dad determined to retrieve the bodies of his sons, who have perished in the Battle of Gallipoli. — S.S.

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A&E // FILM Latest sci-fi Hollywood offering to blast down the pike is a bafflingly bad movie

FUTURE SCHLOCK S

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ometimes you go to a movie with high but Casey finds adult Frank (Clooney) and off to reasonable expectations and are positively Tomorrowland they go. shocked by how much you hate it. My It’s important to note that Casey is never experience watching Tomorrowland was one of told why Athena wants her in Tomorrowland, those times. and Frank’s role isn’t fully explained until there The movie starts with blatant Disney are about 30 minutes left to go. That’s far too promotions, gets lost in a convoluted story, long to keep us waiting for clarity, especially forgets to include its star (George Clooney) when the action scenes are mediocre at best. for a good hour, guilt-trips us Director Brad Bird, who with a lecture on how we don’t made the great movies Mission: TOMORROWLAND appreciate Earth, and ends with a Impossible – Ghost Protocol *G@@ bunch of faux science that makes and The Incredibles, passed Rated PG no sense. It’s so head-scratchingly on the chance to direct Star bad it’s astounding. Wars Episode VII: The Force Similar to the Pirates of the Caribbean Awakens so he could make Tomorrowland. plot, the story is loosely inspired by the Too bad he didn’t write a better script. He Tomorrowland sections at Disney theme parks. should’ve realized it was diluted with backstory This explains why Space Mountain is in the film’s and endless exposition, and that it lacked poster, the song “There’s A Great Big Beautiful cohesiveness even at its best moments. For Tomorrow” is heard in the beginning, and going those who know how good Bird can be, the on the “It’s A Small World” ride is how young disappointment is palpable. Frank (Thomas Robinson) first gets to the Then again, he should’ve known better alternate dimension known as Tomorrowland. than to write a script with the grandmaster of Tomorrowland is where the best and stories that go nowhere, Damon Lindelof (Lost, brightest are invited to explore their ideas Prometheus), whose mind is where good ideas without distraction from those of lesser go to die. Exception: He’s one of three credited intellect. At the 1964 World’s Fair, the young writers on Star Trek Into Darkness, and that and charming Athena (Raffey Cassidy) recruits movie is awesome. Frank to join her and her father figure (Hugh Regarding Clooney: It’s not just his lack Laurie) in Tomorrowland. Frank goes, flies of screen time that’s jarring. It’s downright through the air using a jetpack, and none of it unsettling when Frank has to express affection is interesting. for Athena, who looks like she’s 12 (no kissing, In the present day, Athena (yes, the same just emotional longing). Clooney handled it as “girl”) gives a pin to Casey (Britt Robertson), well as he could, but it was an awful thing to who glimpses Tomorrowland but is unable to ask him to do. stay there. So begins an hour-long ClooneyThe visual effects are unimpressively glossy less journey in which Casey longs to get to and cartoonish; everything looks profoundly Tomorrowland and Athena helps only when fake. Being one visual step ahead of The Jetsons required by the plot to do so. This section is not an accomplishment in 2015. Everything doesn’t just drag — even with fun cameos about Tomorrowland is a disappointment. by Keegan Michael-Key and Kathryn Hahn Dan Hudak — it grinds the action to a halt. Ultimately, mail@folioweekly.com

A&E //ARTS

STANZAS OF THE SILVER Historical scope and Hollywood scandal inform the work of local poet TERI YOUMANS GRIMM

hey called Theda Bara “The Vamp,” short (obviously) for “vampire,” as “vamp” became Hollywood slang for a cold seductress, a succubus. Bara played Hollywood’s first Cleopatra in 1917. She was the original movie femme fatale. Lyla Dore, a starlet from Jacksonville’s silent-film era, reads how a suitor of The Vamp “died at Theda’s feet,” in Jacksonville-based poet Teri Youmans Grimm’s poem, “When Theda Bara Came to Town.” On Thursday, May 28 at 7 p.m., Grimm brings Lyla to life in a Hemming Park reading sponsored by Bridge Eight magazine, in Downtown Jacksonville. Lyla was herself conceived amid the Great Fire of 1901, in Hemming Park’s grand Windsor Hotel before it disappeared in flames. Becoming Lyla Dore, Grimm’s second collection of poems, will be published by Red Hen Press in 2016. Though Lyla herself is fictional, the historical context of Grimm’s series of narrative poems is intricately researched and personally reported. Grimm will share the reading with Massachusetts writer Jeff Parker, author of the novel Ovenman, and Florida writer Shane Hinton, who will read from his forthcoming story collection, Pinkies. In Theda Bara, Lyla Dore sees “a different kind of deceit/that could make me love her more,” surprised to find The Vamp “demure, pleasant face delighting/ in our admiration. Living two lives as one!” In such doubling, Grimm explores Jacksonville’s silent film industry, which began around 1907 and flourished in the ’20s, through a feminist exploration of the feelings of power a young woman born in Southern poverty felt in being on screen, and the camera’s objectification of women. Lyla recalls dancing out of the last of seven veils, but moves off-screen, unseen, when audiences “jerked their heads to the right/ as if I’d continue/ spinning into their aisles,/ as if that last veil/ was the only thing/ that kept us apart.” I’m having lunch with Grimm in Riverside’s venerable old Whiteway Deli, in business since 1927. As a father of two teenaged daughters, I ask her what she thinks of film theorists like Laura Mulvey, who’s written of “the male gaze” as entrapment, in comparison to others, like the “anti-feminist feminist” Camille Paglia, who argue empowerment. In brilliantly complex and no doubt Freudian metaphor, Lyla’s father is a projectionist, and she discovers the power of captivating an audience. But there’s the question of when the woman who’s at the center of attention becomes dependent upon that focus. “There are so many sad stories,” Grimm says, “of film stars who got lost in that place of being seen and couldn’t exist without it.” Lyla goes through feeling her real life is the screen, but unlike many stars, then and now, “comes out triumphant.” Or as Lyla says elsewhere, “No one paid any attention to us, him/ learning how to manipulate

light/ and shadow into feeling. Me, learning/ how to take feeling and speak it through/ a gaze.” “As I’m watching silent film and thinking cinematically, I’m approaching the poems, thinking, ‘How would this look on film?’” In researching the silent film era for the last six years, Grimm has made herself a veritable scholar. She seems to know almost as much about silent film as she does about poetry, and she sees a peculiar connection between the two. Her eyes light up when I ask her about it. She talks about the poets who wrote about film when it was new — Vachel Lindsay, H.D. (Hilda Doolittle), Hart Crane, Carl Sandburg, and Marianne Moore. The connection, Grimm says, is the image. “In poetry, you’re not trying to tell people how to think, you’re showing them what to see, and you’re doing it through juxtaposition, color, tone, diction.” Ironically, when talkies emerged, she says, silent film was reaching its artistic zenith. “They’d figured out how camera angle and lighting contributes to tone.” Image had become increasingly poetic. Filmmakers wanted to use intertitles, or title cards, as sparingly as possible, because textual language subtracted from poetic imagery. It’s sometimes hard to tell if Grimm’s discussing poetry or film, because she sees so much of each in the other. When she mentions “camera cuts,” “effective transitions,” and “metaphorical dissolves,” she’s as likely referring to crafting a poem as she is to cinematography. Transitions in writing, she offers as an example, can be clunky, but studying what works in one art form can teach you what works in another. Grimm has read selections from Becoming Lyla Dore at One Spark and Jax by Jax, and she’s published passages from Lyla in national journals, including Jacksonville’s Bridge Eight and EAT Poems and the upcoming issue of Perversion magazine. It’s not easy to bring history to life, Grimm says. You have to immerse yourself in your subject and its time period. For her, that’s meant paying close attention to differences of language in silent-screen star Lillian Gish’s autobiographical writings and how director William Wellman described his drinking as “getting lonesome loaded.” “If you’re writing historical fiction or poetry,” Teri Grimm says, “the most important thing you can do is find authenticating details, the kinds of things people don’t know,” especially the strange nuances of language. Tim Gilmore mail@folioweekly.com MAY 27-JUNE 2, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31

A&E // ARTS & EVENTS PERFORMANCE

THE FIREBIRD Jacksonville Center of the Arts (JCA) presents a modern-day version of Stravinsky’s mythology-fueled masterpiece The Firebird, at 6 p.m. May 31 at ThrasherHorne Center for the Arts, 283 College Dr., Orange Park, $15-$25, 276-6750, jacksonvillecentreofthearts.org. JACKSONVILLE DANCE THEATRE The third annual repertory concert, An Evening to Move You, is held at 7:30 p.m. May 30 at Episcopal School of Jacksonville, 4455 Atlantic Blvd., San Marco, $25; $15 seniors/military, jacksonvilledancetheatre.org. THE PRODUCERS Amelia Musical Playhouse presents a stage adaptation of Mel Brooks’ 1968 musical comedy, about a conniving producer and a timid accountant, at 7:30 p.m. May 28, 29 and 30, at 1955 Island Walkway, Fernandina Beach, $20; $15 for students, 277-3455, ameliamusicalplayhouse.com. THE 25th ANNUAL PUTNAM COUNTY SPELLING BEE The musical comedy, about teens competing in the spelling championship of a lifetime, is staged through June 14. Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menu is featured; at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 641-1212, $35-$55, alhambrajax.com. VANYA AND SONIA AND MASHA AND SPIKE Fernandina Little Theatre stages Christopher Durang’s Tony-winning comedy, about middle-aged siblings dealing with their celebrity sister and her boyfriend, 7:30 p.m. May 28, 29 and 30 at 1014 Beech St., Fernandina Beach, 277-2202, $17, ameliaflt.org.

CLASSICAL, CHOIR & JAZZ

AARON BING, JON B Award-winning smooth jazz saxophonist (and Jacksonville native) Bing performs with opening act, multi-instrumentalist-vocalist Jon B, 7 p.m. May 31 the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Terry Theater, 300 Water St., Downtown, 633-6110, $40; $77.30 VIP, ticketmaster.com. FRIDAY MUSICALE SCHOLARSHIP LAUREATES Soprano Danielle Cheiken, clarinetist Elisa Gentry, and bassoonist Rachel Lovelace perform at 7:30 p.m. May 29 at 645 Oak St., Riverside, 355-7584, fridaymusicale.com. WOODWIND SHOWCASE San Marco Chamber Music Society presents its season finale of works by Saint-Saens, Bowen, Bruch, Ibert, and Lotti, at 7 p.m. May 31 at St. Mark’s Lutheran Church, 3976 Hendricks Ave., 731-1310, sanmarcochambermusic.org.

COMEDY

MARLON WAYANS Comic Wayans, who co-wrote and starred in the Scary Movie series, is on 8 p.m. May 28, 8 and 10 p.m. May 29 and 30 and 7 p.m. May 31 at the Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, $30-$35, 292-4242, comedyzone.com. JOHN RATHBONE Rathbone, who’s appeared on Showtime, A&E, and The Comedy Channel, appears at 8:04 and 10:10 p.m. May 29 and 30 at Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., $10-$15, 646-4277, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL CAMP AUDITIONS Limelight Theatre auditions kids in grades 6-12 for the summer camp production of High School Musical, 2-5 p.m. June 15 (first day of camp) at the theater, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, 825-1164, limelight-theatre.org. Call for session fees and details. PGLAG SCHOLARSHIP APPLICATIONS Applications for $2,000 scholarships are accepted from out lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender students who live in Duval, Nassau, Clay, St. Johns and Clay counties. Deadline June 1; pflagjax.org/scholarship. ABET ADULT ACTING WORKSHOPS Dave Alan Thomas teaches techniques May 27 and 28 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, $30 per session. For details, email floridatheacherthomas@gmail.com. AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM SEEKS WWII ITEMS The Museum of History seeks WWII historical items, particularly pieces with some association to Florida, to borrow for its upcoming exhibit Florida in World War II. Items will be on display for three to four months. 261-7378 ext. 102 or email gray@ameliamuseum.org. MUSICIANS NEEDED Amelia Musical Playhouse seeks musicians for its upcoming production of Songs for a New World. For info, call 277-3455 or email dilljill@msn.com.

ART WALKS & MARKETS

FIRST WEDNESDAY ART WALK The downtown art walk, held 5-9 p.m. June 3 – themed “Summertime Sizzle” – features more than 13 live music venues, more than 13 hotspots open after 9 p.m. and 50 total participating venues, spanning 15 blocks in Downtown Jacksonville. iloveartwalk. com. UPTOWN SATURDAY NIGHT Self-guided tour of galleries, antique stores and shops open 5-9 p.m. May 30 and every last Sat. in St. Augustine’s San Marco District, 824-3152. RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Local and regional art, a free yoga session 9-10 a.m., local music – Al Poindexter & River Rise, Charley Simmons, The Williamsons, and Shane Myers starting 10:30 a.m. May 30 – food artists and a farmers’ row, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. every Sat. under Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com.

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MUSEUMS

AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY 233 S. Third St., Fernandina Beach, 261-7378, ameliamuseum.org. Portraits of American Beach is on display. AMERICAN BEACH MUSEUM American Beach Community Center, 1600 Julia St., Fernandina, 277-7960, nassaucountyfl. com/facilities. The Sands of Time: An American Beach Story, celebrating MaVynee Betsch, “The Beach Lady,” is on display. BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY PARK 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, beachesmuseum.org. The exhibit Mora: 25 Years on the First Coast runs through June. CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummer.org. Whitfield Lovell: Deep River is on display through Sept. 13. Dolf James’ public art installation Equal Point is on display through June 1. Reflections: Artful Perspectives on the St. Johns River is on display through Oct. 18. All Together: The Sculpture of Chaim Gross is on display through Oct. 4. British Watercolors exhibits through Nov. 29. Public garden tours are held at 11 a.m. every Tue. and Thur. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992. The Art of Springfield exhibit is on display through June 27. The Adams Family: Part Two is exhibited through Aug. 26. LIGHTNER MUSEUM 75 King St., St. Augustine, 824-2874, lightnermuseum.org. Curator-led monthly tours are featured at 10 a.m. every first Wed. MANDARIN MUSEUM, WALTER JONES PARK 11964 Mandarin Rd., 268-0784, mandarinmuseum.net. Permanent exhibits include the Civil War steamship Maple Leaf artifacts, Harriet Beecher Stowe items and Mandarin historical pieces. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 366-6911, mocajacksonville.com. Southern Exposure: Portraits of a Changing Landscape, is on display through Aug. 30. The exhibit In Time We Shall Know Ourselves: the Photographs of Raymond Smith, is on display through Aug. 30. The Art Aviators Exhibition is on display through Aug. 16. Project Atrium: Angela Glajcar is on display through June 28. Phil Parker’s Assemblage/Collage is on display in the UNF Gallery through Aug. 30.

GALLERIES

ADELE GRAGE CULTURAL CENTER 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-5828. Works by Jessica Williams and Lana Fisher are on display through May. THE ARCHWAY GALLERY & THE ATTIC 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-2222. Artwork by Fletcher Middle School students is on display through May 29. THE ART CENTER II 229 N. Hogan St., Downtown, 355-1757. The exhibit Under the Sea and Beneath the River is on display. BREW FIVE POINTS 1024 Park St., Riverside, 374-5789, brewfivepoints. Recent works by collage artist Eric Gillyard are on display through May. BUTTERFIELD GARAGE ART GALLERY 137 King St., St. Augustine, 825-4577. An exhibit of works by the late multimedia artist Katherine Parker is displayed through June 2. CoRK ARTS DISTRICT 2689 Rosselle St., Riverside. The exhibit Secrets, featuring works by Margete Griffin, Jeff Luque, and Suzi West, is currently on display. CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530. Juried Alumni Exhibition runs through June 19. FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928. The 13th Annual Sea Turtle Show is on display through July 6. An opening reception is held 7-9 p.m. May 29. FLORIDA MINING GALLERY 5300 Shad Rd., Southside. 535-7252. Caitlin Hurd’s exhibit, Daydreams from Brooklyn, is on display through June. RITZ THEATRE & MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., 632-5555, ritzjacksonville.com. Through Our Eyes 2015: Wouldn’t Take Nothing for My Journey (An Artistic Revolution), works of 20 local African-American artists, is on display through July 28. ROTUNDA GALLERY St. Johns County Admin. Bldg., 500 San Sebastian View, St. Augustine, 471-9980. St. Augustine Camera Club’s Annual Photography Show is on display through July 23. ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., 824-2310, staaa.org. Iconic St. Augustine runs through May. ST. AUGUSTINE VISITOR INFORMATION CENTER 10 W. Castillo Dr., 825-1053, staugustine-450/tapestry. The exhibit Tapestry: The Cultural Threads of First America, which explores intertwining cultures of Hispanics, Africans and Native Americans and how they helped form the foundation of American culture, is on display through Oct. 4. THRASHER-HORNE GALLERIES Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts, 283 College Dr., Orange Park, 276-6750, thcenter. org. Works by Sarah Crooks Flaire and Charlie Brown are on display through May 28. VANDROFF ART GALLERY Jewish Community Alliance, 8505 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 730-2100. The Paintings of Margaret Billesimo is on display through June.

EVENTS

PAWPARAZZI GALA Alhambra Theatre & Dining holds a fundraiser featuring a champagne reception, gourmet dinner, silent auction and runway fashion show, with fashions from local boutiques, and rescued pets saved with the theater’s Angel Fund, at 6 p.m. May 28 at 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $85, 641-1212, proceeds benefit First Coast No More Homeless Pets, alhambrajax.com. MOSH AFTER DARK The Year of the River: Florida Springs discussion is led by John Moran and Dr. Lesley Gamble, 6-9 p.m. May 28 at Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank; craft beer and wine, 396-6674 ext. 230, themosh.org. AMELIA RIVER CRUISES Adult Twilight BYOB Cruises are

held every Thur., Fri. and Sat., featuring live music – Dan Voll May 28, Larry LeMier May 29, Yancy Clegg May 30 – from Amelia River Cruises, 1 N. Front St., Fernandina Beach, 261-9972; for fees and details, go to ameliarivercruises.com. GREATER JACKSONVILLE FESTIVAL OF HOPE Franklin Graham presents the festival, featuring Tenth Avenue North, The City Harmonic, Tommy Coomes Band, Dennis Agajanian, Amena Brown and DJ OPDiggy 7 p.m. May 29; Newsboys, Lacey, Tommy Coomes Band, Dennis Agajanian, Amena Brown and DJ OPDiggy, 7 p.m. May 30; and The Charlie Daniels Band, Tasha Cobbs, Amena Brown, DJ OPDiggy, Tommy Coomes Band and Dennis Agajanian, 4 p.m. May 31 at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., Downtown, free, jacksonvillefestival.org. A prayer gathering is held 6:30 p.m. May 28 outside the Arena. SEA LEVEL, CLIMATE CHANGE DISCUSSION The University of North Florida Environmental Center and U.S. Green Building Council North Florida Chapter present the luncheon and discussion featuring climate expert Dennis M. Bushnell, chief scientist at NASA Langley Research Center, 11:30 a.m. May 29 at UNF’s Herbert University Center, Bldg. 43, Rm. 1058, $25; $20 USGBC members; $15 students, 620-5804, usgbcnf.org/ event-calendar. INAUGURAL HAT LUNCHEON The Ritz Chamber Players present its inaugural Hat Luncheon, featured a lunch and live music, at 11:30 a.m. May 30 at The Garden Club of Jacksonville, 1005 Riverside Ave., $75; wear favorite hats; proceeds benefit the music ensemble’s efforts to increase diversity among local classical musicians and audiences, 323-1181, ritzchamberplayers.org. JACKSONVILLE ARMADA VS. CAROLINA RAILHAWKS Local football faves (that’s “soccer” to you, Bubba!) Jacksonville Armada take on the Carolina Railhawks at 7:30 p.m. May 30 at the Baseball Grounds, 301 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., Downtown, $15-$70, 633-6100, ticketmaster.com. SGES BOOK SALE FUNDRAISER The Southern Genealogist’s Exchange Society holds a book sale – more than 500 books and quarterlies, mostly genealogical and historical – 10 a.m.-2 p.m. May 30 at SGES Library, 6215 Sauterne Dr., Westside, sgesjax.org. ULTIMATE FRISBEE The Jacksonville Cannons, a new professional ultimate Frisbee team, tosses the disc against the Raleigh Flyers at 6 p.m. May 30 at Trinity Christian Academy, 800 Hammond Blvd., Northside; single game tickets are $10, jaxcannons.com. DURKEEVILLE FISH FRY The Durkeeville Historical Society holds its monthly meeting at 10 a.m. and fish fry at noon May 31 at 1293 W. 19th St., Springfield, 403-6622, durkeevillehistoricalsociety.com. JACKSONVILLE SUNS The Suns kick off a homestand against the Montgomery Biscuits at 7:05 p.m. June 1 (Bellybuster Monday) and June 2 (Folio Weekly 50-Cent Family Feast Night), 1:05 p.m. June 3 (Businessperson’s Special), 7:05 p.m. June 4 (Thursday Night Throwdown, Rounds at the Grounds, College ID Discount), and 7:05 p.m. June 5 (Fireworks, Dale Murphy Appearance, Hurricane Preparedness Night). All the action is at Bragan Field, Baseball Grounds, 301 Randolph Blvd., Downtown. Tickets $7.50-$25.50; 358-2846, jaxsuns.com. TAPA THAT HOLDS “THE GALA” This event, featuring bottomless wine tastings, charcuterie, and paintings by Jody Miller, Kyle Willis, Toni Bravo, Minda Bachelor, and Dan Farrel, is held 6-9 p.m. June 2 at Tapa That, 820 Lomax St., Riverside, $25; suggested formal to semi-formal attire, 376-9911. AUTHOR AT MAIN LIBRARY Mary Kay Andrews is featured in a talk and book signing for her new novel, Beach Town, at 6:30 p.m. June 2 in Main Library’s Multipurpose Room, 303 N. Laura St., Downtown, 630-2665, jaxpubliclibrary.org. MARY ALICE MONROE, MARY KAY ANDREWS Bestselling authors Monroe and Andrews sign copies of their new novels, Monroe’s The Summer’s End and Andrews’ Beach Town, 7 p.m. June 3 at The BookMark, 200 First St., Neptune Beach, 241-9026. AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY SUMMER CAMP Amelia Island Museum of History holds sessions June 1-5 for ages 7-9, featuring history, art, nature and cooking, 233 S. Third St., Fernandina Beach, $50, 261-7378, ameliasmuseum.org. DAILY EVENTS AT HEMMING PARK Hemming Park offers free yoga, group fitness and live music, across from City Hall, 117 W. Duval St., Downtown; for schedule, go to hemmingpark.org/hemming-park-events. UNF SUMMER CAMPS The University of North Florida’s Department of Campus Recreation offers two summer camps for kids ages 5-14. Youth Sports & Fitness Camp runs June 8-Aug. 7; EcoCamp runs June 8-July 31. For more info, go to unf.edu/recreation/camps. TWIN LAKES ACADEMY CAMP TIMBERWOLF 2015 Twin Lakes Academy Middle School summer camp is held 7 a.m.-5:45 p.m. Mon.-Fri., June 15-Aug. 7 at 8050 Point Meadows Dr., Baymeadows. A field trip every day, outdoor activities, swimming, water parks, bowling, movies, arts & crafts, sports and more. The cost for a single child is $1,200 for all eight weeks ($150 a week) or $1,150 per child for parents with more than one kid. New this year is Half Camp (four weeks) at $600 per child. Call Ronald Soud, 864-2409 or email soudr@duvalschools.org or Jesse Schuster at schusterj@duvalschools.org for more information. SUMMER ART CAMPS The St. Augustine Art Association offers five sessions starting in June for grades 1-6 and ages 12 and older. For more info, go to staaa.org. JR. WATERMAN’S SUMMER CAMP Black Creek Guides holds sessions July 6-10, 27-31, Aug. 3-7, 10-14 and 17-21, featuring SUP lessons, paddle and watersports knowledge, safety and techniques, for ages 7-15. For fees, details and descriptions, go to blackcreekguides.com.

A&E // MUSIC

PRETTY IN PONTE VEDRA BEACH

RICHARD BUTLER and company come to conquer New Wave hot spot: Northeast Florida

1981’s Talk Talk Talk, made a bigger splash and he Psychedelic Furs are one of the best ’80s included some songs that you probably know, bands. I don’t mean in terms of sales or particularly “Pretty in Pink.” commercial or critical success. You know, This version predates the classic movie of the the way most people would quantify “best.” same name by five years. There can be no doubt What I mean is, the music holds up, to a point that the Furs have been at least partly successful where I can listen to it right now (I am, actually) because John Hughes chose to title his 1986 without cringing at a nostalgia overdose (See: teenybopper romantic comedy after the song “Safety Dance,” Toni Basil, and Molly Ringwald and included it in the soundtrack. But in my — although that last one is complicated). expert and undisputed opinion, the original The Psychedelic Furs, for the uninitiated, “Pink” is way better than the one the Furs are a cross between The Cure, The Church, redid for the soundtrack. While the soundtrack and The Velvet Underground. They may not version just drips with “radio play” production, have made the same impact as those bands, it lacks the angst and barebones of the original. or other contemporaries like R.E.M. or maybe Still, unless you’re Matt The Smiths, but there Pinfield, you probably can be no argument that THE PSYCHEDELIC FURS, know them because of they produced a song THE DOG APOLLO the film’s version. that would be eligible 7 p.m. May 31 at Ponte Vedra Concert I stated earlier that to represent an entire Hall, $39.50-$49.50, pvconcerthall.com “Pretty in Pink” would decade: “Pretty in Pink.” be on the short-ballot And they aren’t/weren’t for the most defining song of the ’80s. I know; a one-trick pony, either; the band released it’s a bold statement. But think about this: other notable numbers like “Love My Way,” The song is alternative enough to sit well with “Heartbreak Beat,” and “Heaven.” fans of Echo & The Bunnymen or Bauhaus or The point is, this isn’t some rag-tag Joy Division, but also pop-oriented enough assemblage of ’80s stars in festival form, this is for those buying Debbie Gibson and Tiffany Richard Butler and his New Wave Mick Jaggeralbums. “Pretty in Pink” crosses the aisle and sashay and gestations growling at you about gets both votes, whereas Thompson Twins or heaven, love, heartbreak and, well, the color Flock of Seagulls simply doesn’t. pink. So you shouldn’t have any nostalgia guilt The Furs followed up “Talk Talk Talk” with pangs if you pony up to go see the band play 1982’s Forever Now, which was produced by this weekend at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall. power pop wizard Todd Rundgren. Perhaps Formed in the late-’70s, The Furs arrived the Fur’s second-most popular song, “Love at the tail end of the great punk happening in My Way,” appears here and must have been a England, and brought a little more theatrics and bigger hair, which ultimately nixed them close runner-up to the song Buffalo Bill danced from that movement. But the Butler brothers around to in The Silence Of The Lambs. (Richard on vocals and weird hand gestures In ’88, the Furs released All of This and in music videos and brother Tim on bass) Nothing, a best-of and — as I am sure they were able to parlay the DIY punk work ethic meant it — the best place to find a crossinto regular shows in nearby London (the section of their work, from the art house boys are from Surrey) in front of large, paying rock of “Dumb Waiters” to the darker “She crowds. This interested producers, particularly is Mine” to the more mainstream “Heaven” and the punkier “All That Money Wants.” All legendary producer Steve Lillywhite, who of This and Nothing really showcases why The wanted to harness the fading fumes of the punk Psychedelic Furs can let their music stand on its scene with the sparks of the upcoming New own, as opposed to being some sort of decadeWave era. What we ended up with was their influenced playlist. 1980 eponymously titled debut, which did fairly well in Europe (but nobody here cared Danny Kelly about it – Boo!). Their next album, though, mail@folioweekly.com MAY 27-JUNE 2, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33

A&E // MUSIC

GBH: GUILTY AS CHARGED UK PUNK LEGENDS maintain their fury at street level – where it belongs

34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MAY 27-JUNE 2, 2015

unk bands rotate members, file lawsuits, argue over money and break up. Those that stay together mellow with age or transition into other, more lucrative, genres. Not Charged GBH. The Birmingham, England-based GBH decided they were the type of degenerate hellraisers that belonged in punk music for the long term. They doubled and tripled down on the anger, speed and power of their original sound. Thirty years on, GBH continues producing original punk music that keeps getting better. On June 3, GBH assaults Northeast Florida’s genteel sense of decorum along with local thrash masters, F.F.N. and California-based Total Chaos, at Jack Rabbits in San Marco. When the band’s original bass player was charged with causing “grievous bodily harm” to another individual, the band’s name was born. Charged GBH (the official name; rarely used) started blowing amplifiers and assaulting the sensibilities of Brits in 1979. By 1982, they were recording disturbing hits like “Necrophilia” and “Sick Boy.” GBH’s style of music has been labeled “street punk” or “U.K. 82.” Along with GBH, other street punk bands evolved, like Discharge and Chaos UK. The genre was a movement to differentiate first-wave British punk music from bands like the Sex Pistols and The Damned. Rather than focusing on institutions like the British royalty, GBH wrote songs about the working class and poor neighborhoods, including “City Baby Attacked by Rats,” “Junkies,” and the romantic love ballad, “Slut.” As a genre, street punk music featured heavier chorus singing and multiple guitar players. On their early albums, GBH’s guitars rip like buzz saws and bagpipes run through distortion effects and megawatt amplifiers. The intensity was tangible and the lyrics were pure rebellion. During the second wave of punk music, GBH rode the crest. When a band reaches such heights, there is usually only one direction to go: down.

But GBH refused to let the rules of physics apply. After an aborted flirtation with metal, the band returned to form with the release of Punk as Fuck in 1998 and the ’02 release, Ha Ha. The result of GBH’s uncompromising ethos is their latest, and arguably best, recording, Perfume and Piss. The first song, “Unique,” begins with a sustained power chord and explodes into a mushroom cloud of musical anarchy. Order is restored as the music straightens out, with distorted guitars blasting at full tilt, the beat of a runaway freight train and lead singer, Colin Abrahall, growling, “You’re not unique, you’re obsolete, you won’t last a week!!”

GBH, TOTAL CHAOS, F.F.N.

8 p.m. June 3 at Jack Rabbits, San Marco, $15, jaxlive.com The 13 tunes on Perfume and Piss ripple with the passion and a complete disregard for common decency. The recording will not be featured at your neighborhood cotillion or corporate insurance seminar. But it will infect the listener, inspire the concertgoer and infuse every punk fan’s soul. Perfume and Piss was the result of a collaboration with Rancid’s Lars Frederiksen and Tim Armstrong’s label, Hellcat Records. Frederiksen’s relationship with GBH dates back to 1983 when, as an 11-year-old, he sang “Sick Boy” with the band during a live show. Throughout their musical lifespan, the main focus of GBH has been to perform live. Lead singer and founding member Colin Abrahall has said, “It’s what we live for … the raison d’être.” Since inception, GBH has performed in shows as big as Vans Warped Tour and as small as a public housing complex. Folio Weekly conducted a coast-to-coast, cell-to-cell interview with Abrahall, who was between gigs in San Francisco and Los

Angeles. Though the failing reception was hilariously atrocious, we were able to translate this much. Folio Weekly: How was last night’s show in San Francisco? Colin Abrahall: It was brilliant. I think it was sold out. What songs should fans expect to hear on June 3 in Jacksonville? Every song off Leather, Bristles, Studs and Acne in order. Then all of our 7-inch singles, and the B-sides. Also, a few songs off Perfume and Piss. Songs like “Dead Man Walking” and “Unique” shows you still have a lot that pisses you off and you still have a lot to raise hell about. Where does that passion come from? It’s just events in everyday life, like someone cutting you off in traffic. Plus it’s good to have things to complain about. It keeps you alive. It seems like the band performs nonstop when on tour. How many dates do you play a year? Just under 100. Is the song “Perfume and Piss” about economic inequality or more of a general reflection of the struggles against the powers that be? It originated on a plane trip when our drummer returned from the bathroom and said it smelled like “perfume and piss.” And I thought about that as a metaphor for life, the good and the bad. Some have said the band adopted a more heavy metal sound in the past. It’s a label you reject. Why? Because I don’t think we are. When I think of heavy metal, I think of Spandex pants and falsetto singing, and we’re not like that. We’re a punk rock band. J. Scott Gaillard mail@folioweekly.com

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK

SPADE McQUADE 6 p.m. May 27 at Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176, Downtown, 374-1247. PAT ROSE 7 p.m. May 27 at Ragtime Tavern, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877. FRANKIE BALLARD 7 p.m. May 27 at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 353-1188. MELT BANANA, DREDGER, ELECTRIC WATER 8 p.m. May 27 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $12. VEIL OF MAYA, REVOCATION, OCEANO, GIFT GIVER, ENTHEOS 6 p.m. May 28 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, 353-6067, $15 advance; $18 day of. FRICTION FARM, CHARLIE ROBERTSON 7:30 p.m. May 28 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., San Marco, 352-7008, $10. BE EASY 7:30 p.m. May 28 at Latitude 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., Southside, 365-5555. TURBO SUIT, HERD OF WATTS, SIR CHARLES 8 p.m. May 28 at 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown, $10. DENNY BLUE 6 p.m. May 29 at Spy Global Cuisine & Lounge, 21 Hypolita St., St. Augustine, 819-5637. MIKE SHACKELFORD, STEVE SHANHOLTZER 7:30 p.m. May 29, Mudville Music Room, $10. DIXIE RODEO 7:30 p.m. May 29 at Lillie’s Coffee Bar, 200 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-2922. BROTHER HAWK, BIG JESUS 8 p.m. May 29, 1904 Music Hall, Downtown, $8. SUNDY BEST, FOUR BARREL BAND 8 p.m. May 29, Jack Rabbits, $10. MPIRE 8:30 p.m. May 29 & 30, Latitude 360. TOOTS LORRAINE & THE TRAFFIC 9 p.m. May 29 at The Parlour (behind Grape & Grain Exchange), 2000 San Marco Blvd., 396-4455. LITTLE MIKE & THE TORNADOES 10 p.m. May 29, Ragtime Tavern. TROPIC OF CANCER 10 p.m. May 29 at rain dogs, 1045 Park St., Riverside, 379-4969. ROGER THAT 10 p.m. May 29 & 30 at The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611. DEAD WINTER CARPENTERS 10 p.m. May 29 at Mojo Kitchen, 1500 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 247-6636, $12. BLACK CAT BONES 10 p.m. May 29 & 30 at Flying Iguana, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680. Riverside Arts Market: AL POINDEXTER & RIVER RISE, CHARLEY SIMMONS, THE WILLIAMSONS, SHANE MYERS 10:30 a.m. May 30 at 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449. DENNY BLUE 1 p.m. May 30 at Milltop Tavern, 19 St. George St., St. Augustine, 829-2329. JOSH GRACIN 6 p.m. May 30 at Mavericks at The Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 356-1110, $15. Rock for Kyle’s Kidney Benefit Concert: ALLELE, HEART SHAPED BOX (Nirvana tribute), MELISSA SMITH, BRAIDED SUN, CHASING NOLA 7 p.m. May 30, Jack Rabbits, $10. LARRY MANGUM, MIKE SHACKELFORD, JAMIE DeFRATES 7:30 p.m. May 30, Mudville Music Room, $10. UNIQUE SOUND BAND 7:30 p.m. May 30, Lillie’s Coffee Bar. FLY SOCKS & TREES VOL. 2, MR. AL PETE 8 p.m. May 30, 1904 Music Hall, Downtown, $5. YOU RASCAL! YOU 9 p.m. May 30, The Parlour (behind Grape & Grain Exchange). BARNYARD STOMPERS, LAUREL LEE & THE ESCAPEES 9 p.m. May 30 at Planet Sarbez!, 115 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 342-0632, $5. CLOUD 9 10 p.m. May 30, Ragtime Tavern. BRIDGING THE MUSIC (FINAL) 5 p.m. May 31, 1904 Music Hall, Downtown, $10. THE PSYCHEDELIC FURS, THE DOG APOLLO 7 p.m. May 31 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 2090399, $39.50-$49.50. DARREN CORLEW 8:30 p.m. May 31, Flying Iguana. ROXY ROCA, HERD OF WATTS 8 p.m. June 2, Jack Rabbits, $8. BRIT FLOYD (Pink Floyd tribute) 8 p.m. June 2 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $39.50-$69.50. GBH, TOTAL CHAOS, FFN 8 p.m. June 3, Jack Rabbits, $15. ERYN SHEWELL 9 p.m. June 3, Milltop Tavern.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

BIG SMO June 5, Mavericks at the Landing BLUEPRINT, DJ RARE GROOVE, SUPASTITION, TOUGH

Local hip hop great MR. AL PETE performs at 1904 Music Hall on May 30.

JUNKIE, STEAM MECHANICS June 5, rain dogs RUSTY SHINE June 6, The Roadhouse KIM WATERS June 6, Ritz Theatre THE BUSINESS June 6, Burro Bar Backyard Barbecue: GUANTANAMO BAYWATCH, THE DELUSIONAIRES, SANDRATZ, NUTRITIONAL BEAST, MENTAL PATIENTS June 6, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THIRD EYE BLIND, DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL June 7, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ALLEN STONE, BRYNN ELLIOT June 7, Colonial Quarter ANCIENT RIVER June 10, Burro Bar THE GIPSY KINGS, NICOLAS REYES, TONINO BALIARDO June 11, The Florida Theatre SETH WALKER June 11, Mudville Music Room TYCHO June 11, Freebird Live BOOGIE FREAKS June 12 & 13, The Roadhouse SUPERHEAVEN, DIAMOND YOUTH, ROZWELL KID June 12, Burro Bar HYSTERIA (Def Leppard tribute) June 12, Freebird Live SWAMP RADIO June 12, The Florida Theatre DAVID CROSBY June 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall Florida Country Superfest: ZAC BROWN BAND, KEITH URBAN, BRANTLEY GILBERT, COLE SWINDELL, TYLER FARR, DAVID NAIL, COLT FORD, DANIELLE BRADBERY, SWON BROTHERS June 13 & 14, EverBank Field CHARLI XCX June 15, Freebird Live NELDORETH, VESTARIAN, THE NOCTAMBULANT, SATURNINE June 15, Burro Bar Happy Together Tour: THE TURTLES, FLO & EDDIE, THE ASSOCIATION, MARK LINDSAY, THE GRASSROOTS, THE COWSILLS, THE BUCKINGHAMS June 16, The Florida Theatre BRONCHO, LE ORCHID June 17, Jack Rabbits LUKE WADE, BABY BEE, THE STATES June 20, Jack Rabbits Elvis 80th Birthday Celebration: BILL CHERRY, CODY SLAUGHTER June 20, Times-Union Center THE DREAMING, DIE SO FLUID, DANCING WITH GHOSTS, KILO KAHN, INNER DEMONS June 21, 1904 Music Hall SURFER BLOOD, TURBO FRUITS June 25, Jack Rabbits OTTMAR LIEBERT & LUNA NEGRA June 26, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall

PIERCE PETTIS June 26, Mudville Music Room NATURAL INSTINCTS June 26 & 27, The Roadhouse STYX June 26, The Florida Theatre FOR KING & COUNTRY June 27, Christ Church Southside MICHAEL RENO HARRELL June 27, Mudville Music Room JULIANNE HOUGH & DEREK HOUGH June 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre BRYAN ADAMS June 28, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MIKE SHACKELFORD Acoustic Night June 28, Bull Park, Atlantic Beach SAY ANYTHING, MODERN BASEBALL, CYMBALS EAT GUITARS, HARD GIRLS July 1, Underbelly DON McLEAN July 2, The Florida Theatre CHILLY RHINO July 3 & 4, The Roadhouse Warped Tour: ALIVE LIKE ME, AS IT IS, BABY BABY, ARGENT, BEAUTIFUL BODIES, BEING AS AN OCEAN, BLACK BOOTS, BLACK VEIL BRIDES, BLESSTHEFALL, BORN CAGES, KOO KOO KANGA ROO, BOYMEETSWORLD, CANDY HEARTS, ESCAPE THE FATE, FAMILY FORCE 5, FIT FOR A KING, HANDGUNS, HANDS LIKE HOUSES, I KILLED THE PROM QUEEN, KOSHA DILLZ, LE CASTLE VANIA, LEE COREY OSWALD, M4SONIC, MATCHBOOK ROMANCE, NECK DEEP, NIGHT NIGHT RIOTS, PALISADES, SPLITBREED, THE RELAPSE SYMPHONY, TRANSIT, THE WONDER YEARS, TROPHY EYES, WHILE SHE SLEEPS, YOUTH IN REVOLT July 6, Morocco Shrine Auditorium R5: SOME TIME LAST NIGHT, JACOB WHITESIDES, RYLAND July 7, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts JAHMEN, SIGNAL FIRE July 8, Freebird Live BARENAKED LADIES, VIOLENT FEMMES, COLIN HAY July 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre BETWEEN THE BURIED & ME, ANIMALS AS LEADERS, THE CONTORTIONISTS July 11, Freebird Live SHANIA TWAIN July 15, Veterans Memorial Arena AMERICAN IDOL LIVE July 15, The Florida Theatre CHROME HEART July 17 & 18, The Roadhouse ROBERT EARL KEEN & HIS BAND July 19, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SLIGHTLY STOOPID, DIRTY HEADS, STICK FIGURE July 23, St. Augustine Amphitheatre

MAY 27-JUNE 2, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC California alt-country band DEAD WINTER CARPENTERS perform at Mojo Kitchen in Jax Beach on May 29.

PURE PRAIRIE LEAGUE, FIREFALL, ATLANTA RHYTHM SECTION July 25, The Florida Theatre UNKNOWN HINSON July 25, Jack Rabbits Connection Festival: 311, JULIAN MARLEY, MATISYAHU, BALLYHOO!, NEW YORK SKA-JAZZ ENSEMBLE, WHOLE WHEAT BREAD, STANK SAUCE, SKYWATER, JAH ELECT & THE I QUALITY BAND, CLOUD 9 VIBE, ASKMEIFICARE, HOLEY MISS MOLEY, YAMADEO, HERD OF WATTS, WESTER JOSEPH’S STEREO VUDU July 25, Metropolitan Park ROB THOMAS, PLAIN WHITE T’s July 25, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MIKE SHACKELFORD Acoustic Night July 26, Bull Park, Atlantic Beach JAKE MILLER, JASMINE, ALEX ANGELO July 26, Freebird Live PLANES MISTAKEN FOR STARS, ZULU WAVE, DREDGER July 27, Shanghai Nobby’s FIFTH HARMONY, DEBBY RYAN & THE NEVER ENDING, NATALIE LA ROSE, BEA MILLER July 28, The Florida Theatre WHITESNAKE July 31, The Florida Theatre MY MORNING JACKET, MINI MANSIONS Aug. 1, St. Augustine Amphitheatre COUNTING CROWS, CITIZEN COPE, HOLLIS BROWN Aug. 2,

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St. Augustine Amphitheatre AUTHORITY ZERO, COUNTERPUNCH, RUBEDO, ONE SMALL STEP Aug. 2, Jack Rabbits BHAGAVAN DAS Aug. 7-9, Karpeles Museum SINBAD Aug. 7, The Florida Elvis Anniversary Bash: MIKE ALBERT, SCOT BRUCE & THE BIG E BAND Aug. 8, The Florida Theatre CHRISTINA PERRI, COLBIE CAILLAT, RACHEL PLATTEN Aug. 11, The Florida Theatre HippieFest 2015: THE FAMILY STONE, RICK DERRINGER, MITCH RYDER & THE DETROIT WHEELS, BADFINGER & JOEY MOLLAND Aug. 13, The Florida Theatre THE ROCKY HORROR SHOW Aug. 14 & 15, 21 & 22, 1904 Music Hall DARYL HANCE, EUGENE SNOWDEN & FRIENDS Aug. 14, Underbelly SUBLIME WITH ROME, REBELUTION, PEPPER, MICKEY AVALON Aug. 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre “WEIRD AL” YANKOVIC Aug. 16, The Florida Theatre NASHVILLE PUSSY, VALIENT THORR Aug. 16, Jack Rabbits LYLE LOVETT & HIS LARGE BAND Aug. 20, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts TIM McGRAW, BILLY CURRINGTON, CHASE BRYANT Aug. 20, Veterans Memorial Arena Reunion: Campout Concert Series: STRATOSPHERE ALLSTARS, ZOOGMA, GREENHOUSE LOUNGE X2, DYNOHUNTER, SIR CHARLES, VLAD THE INHALER, MZG, S.P.O.R.E., BELLS AND ROBES, MATTHEW CONNOR Aug 21 & 22, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park DONOVAN FRANKENREITER Aug. 25, Freebird Live THE OUTLAWS, BLACKHAWK Aug. 28, The Florida Theatre TRIBAL SEEDS, THE EXPANDERS, ARISE ROOTS Aug. 28, Mavericks at The Landing STEVE FORBERT TRIO Aug. 29, Mudville Music Room MIKE SHACKELFORD Acoustic Night Aug. 30, Bull Park, Atlantic Beach RICK SPRINGFIELD, LOVERBOY, THE ROMANTICS Aug. 30, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ALICE COOPER Sept. 1, The Florida Theatre NICKELBACK Sept. 1, Veterans Memorial Arena PONCHO SANCHEZ Sept. 5, The Ritz Theatre & Museum REO SPEEDWAGON Sept. 24, The Florida Theatre DELBERT McCLINTON Sept. 25, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BRITTANY SHANE Sept. 25, Mudville Music Room WHOOPI GOLDBERG Sept. 26, The Florida Theatre BILL ENGVALL Oct. 2, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts BOOKER T. JONES Oct. 3, The Ritz Theatre & Museum AMELIA ISLAND JAZZ FEST Oct. 8-15, Fernandina Beach ANI DiFRANCO Oct. 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall

RANDY WESTON’S AFRICAN RHYTHMS Oct. 10, The Ritz Theatre & Museum THE VIBRATORS Oct. 11, Jack Rabbits THE WINERY DOGS Oct. 14, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall NOAH GUNDERSON Oct. 14, Colonial Quarter CHRIS TOMLIN, REND COLLECTIVE Oct. 16, Veterans Memorial Area SUZANNE VEGA Oct. 16, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall DEF LEPPARD, FOREIGNER, NIGHT RANGER Oct. 17, Veterans Memorial Arena LITTLE BIG TOWN Oct. 17, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THE CHARLIE DANIELS BAND Oct. 22, The Florida Theatre TAB BENOIT Oct. 22, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MARCIA BALL & HER BAND, AMY SPEACE Oct. 23, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MARK KNOPFLER Oct. 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre PAUL REISER Nov. 7, The Florida Theatre ALL HANDS ON DECK Nov. 8, The Florida Theatre ADRIAN LEGG, DAVID LINDLEY Nov. 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall AMERICA Nov. 13, Thrasher-Horne Center STRAIGHT NO CHASER Nov. 17, The Florida Theatre THE DIRTY DOZEN BRASS BAND, NEW BREED BRASS BAND Nov. 21, The Ritz Theatre & Museum RONNIE MILSAP Nov. 29, The Florida Theatre NICHOLAS PAYTON Dec. 5, The Ritz Theatre & Museum LOUDON WAINWRIGHT III Dec. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BRIAN REGAN Dec. 13, The Florida Theatre A JOHN WATERS CHRISTMAS Dec. 15, The Florida Theatre CHRISTIAN McBRIDE Jan. 16, The Ritz Theatre & Museum SUN RA ARKESTRA Feb. 20, The Ritz Theatre & Museum ROGER McGUINN March 4, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall

LIVE MUSIC CLUBS

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

DAVID’S Restaurant & Lounge, 802 Ash St., 310-6049 John Springer every Tue.-Wed. Aaron Bing 6 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. GREEN TURTLE TAVERN, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Brett Foster 1 p.m. May 30. Buck Smith Thur. Yancy Clegg every Sun. Vinyl Record Nite every Tue. SLIDERS, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652 Brett Foster 6 p.m. May 30. Live music every Wed.-Sun. SURF RESTAURANT, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Boo Radley June 2. Live music every Fri. & Sat.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores 9 p.m. every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. every Tue. & Thur. Indie dance 9 p.m. every Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance at 9 p.m. every Fri.

THE BEACHES

(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)

BILLY’S BOATHOUSE, 2321 Beach Blvd., 241-9771 Conch Fritters May 30. Live music every Wed.-Sun. BRASS ANCHOR PUB, 2292 Mayport Rd., Ste. 35, Atlantic Beach, 249-0301 Joe Oliff May 27 CASA MARINA HOTEL, 691 First St. N., 270-0025 Ryan Crary, Johnny Flood May 28 CULHANE’S, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 DJ Hal every Sat. ESPETO Brazilian Steakhouse, 1396 Beach Blvd., 388-4884 Steve & Carlos 6 p.m. May 28 FLASK & CANNON, 528 First St. N. De Lions of Jah every Wed. FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 Black Cat Bones 10 p.m. May 29 & 30. Darren Corlew 8:30 p.m. May 31. Red Beard & Stinky E every Thur. FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 Coughlin, Leprosy, Ecto 8 p.m. May 29. Dropshot, Generator, Together in Exile, Young for a Day, F.I.L.T.H. June 5 HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815 Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. Dan Evans, Spade McQuade 6 p.m. every Sun. Back From the Brink 9 p.m. every Mon. LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-2922 Dixie Rodeo 7:30 p.m. May 29. Unique Sound 7:30 p.m. May 30 LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Chillula 10 p.m. May 29. The Daygos May 30. Dirty Pete Wed. Split Tone Thur. Ryan Crary, Johnny Flood Sun. Be Easy Mon. Ryan Campbell Tue. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., 246-1500 Live music every Wed.-Sat. MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573 Neil Dixon every Tue. Gypsies Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford & Steve Shanholtzer every Thur. MOJO KITCHEN, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636 Dead Winter Carpenters 10 p.m. May 29. After Midnight May 30 NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 Dan Evans 7 p.m. May 28. Elizabeth Rogers May 29 OCEAN 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060 Taylor Roberts 7 p.m. May 27 & 28 RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 Pat Rose 7 p.m. May 27. Rough Mix May 28. Little Mike & the Tornados 10 p.m. May 29. Cloud 9 May 30. Plan B May 31 SLIDERS SEAFOOD GRILLE, 218 First St., Neptune Beach, 246-0881 Billy Bowers 7 p.m. May 29. Live music 6 p.m. every Thur., 6:30 p.m. every Fri. & Sat.

WIPEOUTS GRILL, 1589 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 247-4508 Billy Bowers 7:30 p.m. May 28. Chris Jobinski 9:30 p.m. May 29 WORLD OF BEER, 311 N. Third St., 372-9698 Jim Perkins 8 p.m. May 28. Bread & Butter 9 p.m. May 29. Sami & Sean 9 p.m. May 30. Live music every Fri. & Sat. ZETA BREWING COMPANY, 131 First Ave. N., 372-0727 Live music every Wed.-Sun.

DOWNTOWN

1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. Turbo Suit, Herd of Watts, Sir Charles May 28. Brother Hawk, Big Jesus May 29. Fly Socks & Trees Vol. 2, Mr. Al Pete May 30. Bridging the Music Final May 31 BURRO BAR, 100 E. Adams St. Live music every Fri. & Sat. DE REAL TING, 128 W. Adams St., 633-9738 Beenie Man May 28 DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 BlackJack every Wed. DJ Brandon every Thur. DJs spin dance music every Fri. DJ NickFresh Sat. DJ Randall 9 p.m. Mon. DJ Hollywood Tue. FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247 Spade McQuade 6-9 p.m. May 27. Brett Foster 8 p.m.-mid. May 29. Magenta Root 8 p.m.-mid. May 30. Live music every Wed.-Sun. JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Frankie Ballard 7 p.m. May 27. Spanky the Band 8 p.m.-1 a.m. May 29. Monkey Wrench 8 p.m.-1 a.m. May 30. Radio 80 Trio 4-9 p.m. May 31 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay, 355-5099 DJ Roy Luis every Wed. DJ Vinn every Thur. DJ 007 every Fri. Bay Street every Sat. MAVERICKS, Jax Landing, 356-1110 Josh Gracin 6 p.m. May 30. Joe Buck, DJ Justin every Thur.-Sat. UNDERBELLY, 113 E. Bay St., 699-8186 Veil of Maya, Revocation, Oceano, Gift Giver, Entheos May 28. Jude May 30

FLEMING ISLAND

MERCURY MOON, 2015 Doctors Inlet Rd., 215-8999 Live music most weekends PARK AVENUE BISTRO, 3535 U.S. 17, 375-8154 Lorna Greenwood 6 p.m. May 30 WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 The Danny Black Band May 31. Live music every Fri. & Sat. DJ Throwback 8 p.m. every Thur. Deck music every Fri., Sat. & Sun.

INTRACOASTAL WEST

CLIFF’S Bar & Grill, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 Highway Jones 8 p.m. June 3. Live music every Fri. & Sat. JERRY’S Sports Grille, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Rick Arcusa May 29. Splinters May 30 YOUR PLACE, 13245 Atlantic Blvd., 221-9994 RadioLove 9 p.m. May 28

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC Chicago deathcore band VEIL of MAYA (pictured) perform with REVOCATION, OCEANO, GIFT GIVER and ENTHEOS at Underbelly on May 28, Downtown.

May 30. Andrea Marquis May 31. Billy Bowers 6 p.m. June 3. Local live music nightly MILL TOP TAVERN, 19 St. George St., 829-2329 Aaron Esposito May 28. Kevin Danzig & Ken E Keller 9 p.m. May 29 & 30. Denny Blue 1 p.m. May 30. Aaron Esposito 1 p.m. May 31. Eryn Shewell 9 p.m. June 3 PAULA’S BEACHSIDE GRILL, 6896 A1A S., Crescent Beach, 471-3463 Denny Blue holds open mic jam 6-9 p.m. May 27 PLANET SARBEZ, 115 Anastasia Blvd., 342-0632 Barnyard Stompers, Laurel Lee & the Escapees May 30 SPY GLOBAL CUISINE & LOUNGE, 21 Hypolita St., 819-5637 Denny Blue May 29 TRADEWINDS LOUNGE, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Lisa & the Mad Hatters May 29 & 30. Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

INDOCHINE, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 503-7013 Dance Radio Underground, Sugar & Cream, Black Hoodie, Bass Therapy Sessions, Allan GIz-Roc Oteyza, TrapNasty, Cry Havoc, every Sat. JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Melt Banana, Dredger, Electric Water 8 p.m. May 27. Sundy Best,

Four Barrel Band 8 p.m. May 29. Rock for Kyle’s Kidney Benefit Concert: Allele, Heart Shaped Box (Nirvana Tribute), Melissa Smith, Braided Sun, Chasing Nola 7 p.m. May 30. Roxy Roca, Herd of Watts June 2. GBH, FFN, Total Chaos June 3 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Friction Farm, Charlie Robertson 7:30 p.m. May 28. Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer 7:30 p.m. May 29. Larry Mangum, Mike Shackelford, Jamie DeFrates 7:30 p.m. May 30 THE PARLOUR, 2000 San Marco Blvd., 396-4455 Toots Lorraine, Jonah Pierre 9 p.m. May 29. You Rascal You 9 p.m. May 30. Live music every Thur.-Sat.

SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS

BAHAMA BREEZE, 10205 River Coast Dr., 646-1031 Tropico Steel Drums May 27 CORNER BISTRO, 9823 Tapestry Park Cir., 619-1931 Matt Hall every Wed.-Sat. Steve Wheeler every Fri. LATITUDE 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 DJ Trdmrk 5 p.m., Steffanie Renee Band 7 p.m. May 27. Be Easy 7:30 p.m., DJ Dahn 10:30 p.m. May 28. Darrel Rae 5 p.m., Jesse Cruce 8 p.m. May 29. MPire 8:30 p.m. May 29 & 30. DJ Dahn

MANDARIN, JULINGTON

DAVE’S MUSIC BAR & GRILL, 9965 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 48, 575-4935 Blues Jam June 5. Bonnie & Clyde every Tue. Open jam every Wed. Joe G & Friends every Thur. HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-3040 Open jam Blues Monday 7 p.m. every Mon. SAUCY TACO, 450 S.R. 13, 287-8226 Stu Weaver 7 p.m. May 30

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

CLUB RETRO, 1241 Blanding Blvd., 579-4731 ’70s & ’80s dance 8 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. DJ Capone every Wed. THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael plays piano every Tue.-Sat. PREVATT’S SPORTS BAR, 2620 Blanding Blvd., 282-1564 Live music every Sat. DJ Tammy 9 p.m. every Wed. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Roger That 10 p.m. May 29 & 30. Live rock music 10 p.m. every Wed. DJ Big Mike 10 p.m. every Thur. Live rock every Fri. & Sat.

PONTE VEDRA

PUSSER’S GRILLE, 816 A1A N., 280-7766 Billy Buchanan May 28. Live music every Fri. & Sat. TABLE 1, 330 A1A N., 280-5515 Banks & Smith May 27. Gary Starling May 28. Chicos Lobos May 29. Paxton & Mike May 30 & June 3

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

ACROSS THE STREET, 948 Edgewood Ave. S., 683-4182 Bill Ricci May 29. Backwater Bible Salesmen open mic 8 p.m. every Mon. DJ Rafiki every Tue. MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., 388-7807 The Blank Canvas 8 p.m. May 29. Ethan Parker Band June 6 RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969 Tropic of Cancer 10 p.m. May 29. Holydrug Couple May 31 RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 Al Poindexter & River Rise, Charley Simmons, The Williamsons, Shane Myers starting 10:30 a.m. May 30

ST. AUGUSTINE

BARLEY REPUBLIC, 48 Spanish St., 547-2023 Live local music every Thur.-Sun. THE CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 Gary Douglas Campbell 2 p.m., Rick Levy & the Falling Bones 7 p.m. May 29. Brady Reich 2 p.m., Billy Buchanan & Free Avenue 7 p.m. May 30. Vinny Jacobs 2 p.m. May 31 DOS COFFEE & WINE, 300 San Marco Ave., 342-2421 Jazz every Sun. HARRY’S, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765 Ivan Smith May 27. Gary Campbell May 28. Evan D. May 29. Henry Murphy

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LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC 11:30 p.m. May 29. Samuel Sanders Duo 7 p.m., DJ Dahn 11:30 p.m. May 30. First Street May 31 MY PLACE BAR & GRILL, 9550 Baymeadows Rd., 737-5299 Fat Cactus every Mon. Live music 9 p.m. every night SUITE, 4880 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1, 493-9305 T-Pain May 28 WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., 634-7208 Denton Elkins Band May 27. Chuck Nash May 28. Solitary Man May 29. Grandpa’s Cough Medicine May 30. Bruce Gregori May 31. Live music every Wed.-Sun. WILD WING CAFÉ, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Chris Brinkley May 27. Open mic May 28. A1A North May 29.

Fratello May 30. Live music every Fri. & Sat. WORLD OF BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 551-5929 Chuck Nash 9 p.m. May 29. Cami Lundeen May 30. Live music every Fri. & Sat.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

SHANTYTOWN, 22 W. Sixth St., 798-8222 Live music every Fri. & Sat. THREE LAYERS COFFEEHOUSE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 RadioLove at 5 p.m. May 29. Doug & Heather May 30. Open mic held every Thur.

THE KNIFE

DUVALLUM ATERRIMUS METALLUM JACKSONVILLE MAY NOT BE KNOWN FOR ITS metal scene, but those who are into it are really into it. The last black metal show I attended had a small turnout, but they were hardcore all the way, with merch tables, tattoos of their favorite bands, and enough piss and vinegar to fuel an ultra-violent pit. THE NOCTAMBULANT is one of those bands, a black metal quartet whose music harks back to the earlier days of the genre. It’s heavy and fast, yes, but it’s more firmly rooted in the melodic origins than in the progressive, super-fast nature of some of today’s bands. (The Noctambulant actually sprung out of a psychobilly band as a for-fun side project, until the promoters of the local Zombie Walk asked them to perform. They’ve been a band ever since.) The Noctambulant is preparing to leave – in a pretty nifty custom-painted tour bus – on a month-long tour that takes them from Colorado through Texas, across the Southeast, up the East Coast and over to Michigan. They perform in Jacksonville at Burro Bar on Monday, June 15. I recently spoke to guitarist Phillip Newton about the state of metal, corpse paint and, of course, Satan.

Atlantic, and Oompah-ing our weasley black guts out during the months of September and October.

THE KNIFE

Folio Weekly: What kind of metal do you consider The Noctambulant? Phillip Newton: If I had to be picky, I’d call it Melodic American Black Metal. Though usually when promoting the band, we drop the “Melodic American” moniker. What is your approach to writing? [Drummer] Darin Fitzpatrick and I do the majority of the songwriting, and it’s a fairly collaborative process. While we have both written full songs for the band, what I find most successful is when we can build a song off each other’s ideas. Incorporating his punk/thrash roots and my classical and more traditional metal roots. Give me your assessment of the Jacksonville metal scene. You can look at it almost like there are two. You have the “metal” scene that goes to the big festival shows, says they listen to metal and quote some deathcore band as the most “brootal” thing ever. That is not who we play for. The real Jacksonville metal scene is the guys like Kevin Jackson and Metal Steve. They are part of a small but dedicated group that will go to a metal show for the actual show. They want to meet the players, hear what’s going on, what’s new, where people are going. They’ll stay for the last band because they appreciate the time, dedication and art that go into making music. You’re also in a Germanesque polka band. What the hell is up with that? Yes, the One Step Ahead of the Law Brass Band. The band started as a pick-up gig with my dad, who plays trumpet, an accordion player, tuba player and myself. It turned into us being the only full-time Oktoberfest Oompah band in the city, with a steady gig at the German Schnitzel Haus on 38 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MAY 27-JUNE 2, 2015

You’ve been known to wear an inverted crucifix. It’s in your logo as well. Why? Because like the lyrics I write, I do not agree with organized religion. I feel that people should think for themselves, look inward for their own answers, and be held accountable for their fuck-ups. To quote Richard Dawkins, “Faith is the great copout, the great excuse to evade the need to think and evaluate evidence. Faith is belief in spite of, even perhaps because of, the lack of evidence.” You don’t need religion to be a good person. You don’t need religion to tell you how to act. You need to know what’s right from wrong and be a human enough to make your own decisions. Is Satan a fan of your band? If he were more than a mythic construct of an outdated religion, hell, yes, he would be. I mean to say ... “THE DARK LORD LOVES THE NOCTAMBULANT AND WILL SACRIFICE ALL OF YOUR CHILDREN FOR HIS GLORY.” But no. He isn’t. In your opinion, what was the very first metal band? Sabbath? Zeppelin? Or someone else? You can argue with your family and lose friends over this question. Sabbath, Zeppelin and Deep Purple are always the ones that come to mind. Personally, I was introduced to Zep before the other two, so in my opinion, I’d say Zeppelin.

How important is image to your music and metal in general? The makeup, the studs and spiked wristbands, etc. To our music, I’d say not that important. There is a fine line between putting on a show, and actually drinking your own Kool-Aid. When we do the corpse paint, spikes, leather, it’s all in giving the audience more of a show, because that’s what they’re paying to see. When we play one of the Black Metal festivals in Miami, where it’s wall-to-wall packed with metalheads, we give ’em what they want: corpse paint, blood, fog, doom and Satan. That’s what they paid for. Where can people listen to/purchase your music? We’re on iTunes and Spotify. The upcoming album will be available through a wide variety of online locations. Follow up with our social media outlets for updates. John E. Citrone theknife@folioweekly.com

MAY 27-JUNE 2, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39

WE’RE GONNA HAVE A REAL ... GOOD TIME! Just down the road from the OP Mall is Orange Park’s No. 1 rock & roll bar and restaurant, THE ROADHOUSE, where some of the best local rock, hard rock, and even harder rock outfits anywhere in Northeast Florida perform, so there’s live music all week long. And with pool tables, foosball, steel regulation dart boards, NTN trivia, NFL Sunday Ticket, TVs all over the place – it’s where your cousins would live if your aunt couldn’t cook. There’s a full liquor bar, a wide craft, import and domestic beer selection, and deli-fresh famous sandwiches. A real good time indeed.

DINING DIRECTORY AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

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29 SOUTH EATS, 29 S. Third St., 277-7919, 29south restaurant.com. F In historic downtown, Chef Scotty Schwartz serves traditional regional cuisine with a modern twist. $$ L Tue.-Sat.; D Mon.-Sat.; R Sun. BARBERITOS, 1519 Sadler Rd., 277-2505. 463867 S.R. 200, Ste. 5, Yulee, 321-2240, barberitos.com. F Southwestern fare; burritos, tacos, quesadillas, salsa. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BRETT’S Waterway Café, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality, upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB K L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com. F Family-owned spot in historic building. Veggie burgers, seafood, made-from-scratch desserts. Dine in or on oakshaded patio. Karibrew Pub next door. $$ FB K TO R, Sun.; L D Daily CHEZ LEZAN Bakery Co., 1014 Atlantic Ave., 491-4663, chezlezanbakery.com. Fresh European-style breads, pastries: croissants, muffins, cakes, pies. $ TO B R L Daily CIAO Italian Bistro, 302 Centre St., 206-4311, ciaobistroluca.com. Owners Luka and Kim Misciasci offer fine dining: veal piccata, rigatoni Bolognese, antipasto. Specialties: chicken Ciao, homemade meat lasagna. $ L Fri., Sat.; D Nightly DAVID’S Restaurant & Lounge, 802 Ash St., 310-6049, amelia islanddavids.com. Fine dining in historic district. Fresh seafood, prime aged meats, rack of lamb. $$$$ FB D Wed.-Mon. DICK’S Wings & Grill, 474313 E. S.R. 200, 491-3469. 450077 S.R. 200, Callahan, 879-0993. BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA. ELIZABETH POINTE Lodge, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. F BOJ winner. Award-winning B&B. Seaside dining, inside or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily. Homestyle soups, sandwiches, desserts. $$$ BW B L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianes cafe.com. F In renovated 1887 shotgun house. Jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, vegan/vegetarian items. Dine in or on porch. $$ FB K B L D Daily LULU’S at Thompson House, 11 S. 7th St., 432-8394, lulusamelia.com. F Po’boys, salads, local seafood, local shrimp. Reservations. $$$ BW K TO R Sun.; L D Tue.-Sat. MARCHÉ BURETTE, 6800 First Coast Hwy., 491-4834, omnihotels.com. Old-fashioned gourmet food market and deli, in the Spa & Shops, Omni Amelia Island Plantation. Continental breakfast; lunch features flatbreads. $$$ BW K TO L D Daily MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moon riverpizza.net. F BOJ winner. Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, by the pie or the slice. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE MUSTARD SEED CAFÉ, 833 TJ Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juice, herbal tea. $$ TO B L Mon.-Sat. THE PECAN ROLL Bakery, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815, the pecanrollbakery.com. F The bakery, near the historic district, offers sweet and savory pastries, cookies, cakes, bagels and breads, all made from scratch. $ K TO B L Wed.-Sun. THE PIG BAR-B-Q, 450102 S.R. 200, Callahan, 879-0101,

thepigbarbq.com. Bite Club. SEE SOUTHSIDE. PLAE, 80 Amelia Village Cir., 277-2132, plaefl.net. Bite Club. Bistro-style venue serves whole fried fish, duck breast. Outside. $$$ FB L Tue.-Sat.; D Nightly THE SALTY PELICAN Bar & Grill, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F BOJ winner. 2nd-story outdoor bar. Owners T.J. and Al offer local seafood, Mayport shrimp, fish tacos, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F Oceanfront; handmade crab cakes, fresh seafood, fried pickles. Outdoor dining, open-air 2nd floor, balcony. $$ FB K L D Daily TASTY’S FRESH Burgers & Fries, 710 Centre St., 321-0409, tastysamelia.com. Historic district. Freshest meats, hand-cut fries, homemade sauces, hand-spun shakes. $ BW K L D Daily T-RAY’S Burger Station, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310. F BOJ winner. In an old gas station; blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L Mon.-Sat. THE VERANDAH, 6800 First Coast Hwy., 321-5050, omni hotels.com. Extensive menu of fresh local seafood and steaks; signature entrée is Fernandina shrimp. Many herbs and spices are from onsite garden. $$$ FB K D Nightly

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

DICK’S Wings, 9119 Merrill Rd., 745-9300. BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA.

LARRY’S SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd., 724-5802. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

FLORIDA CREAMERY, 3566 St. Johns Ave., 619-5386. Premium ice cream, waffle cones, milkshakes, sundaes and Nathan’s grilled hot dogs, served in a Florida-centric décor. Low-fat and sugar-free choices. $ K TO L D Daily THE FOX Restaurant, 3580 St. Johns Ave., 387-2669. F Owners Ian & Mary Chase offer fresh diner fare: burgers, meatloaf, fried green tomatoes, desserts. Breakfast all day. Local landmark for 50+ years. $$ BW K L D Daily HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned and operated for 20+ years, the American pub serves 1/2-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOJO NO. 4 Urban BBQ & Whiskey Bar, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. PINEGROVE Market & Deli, 1511 Pine Grove Ave., 389-8655, To get your restaurant listed here, just call your account manager or Sam Taylor at 904.260.9770 ext. 111 or staylor@folioweekly.com.

DINING DIRECTORY KEY

Average Entrée Cost $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted free FW Bite Club tasting. fwbiteclub.com. 2014 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot

pinegrovemarket.com. F BOJ. For 40+ years, burgers, Cuban sandwiches, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher cuts USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. $ BW TO B L D Mon.-Sat. RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurant orsay.com. BOJ winner. French/Southern bistro; emphasis on locally grown organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops. Snail of Approval. $$$ FB K R, Sun.; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simply saras.net. F Down-home fare, from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Mon.-Sat., B Sat.

BAYMEADOWS

AKEL’S Delicatessen, 7825 Baymeadows Way, 733-4040. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S Pizza, 8060 Philips, Ste. 105, 731-4300. F SEE BEACHES.

BROADWAY Ristorante & Pizzeria, 10920 Baymeadows Rd. E., 519-8000, broadwayfl.com. F Family-owned-&operated. Wings, calzones, brick-oven-baked pizza, subs. $$ BW K TO L D Daily INDIA’S Restaurant, 9802 Baymeadows., Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajax.com. F BOJ. Authentic cuisine, lunch buffet. A variety of curries, vegetable dishes, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L Mon.-Sat.; D Nightly LARRY’S, 3928 Baymeadows, 737-7740. 8616 Baymeadows, 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791. SEE MANDARIN. PATTAYA THAI Grille, 9551 Baymeadows, Ste. 1, 646-9506, ptgrille.com. Family-owned Thai place serves traditional fare, vegetarian, new-Thai; curries, seafood, noodles, soups. Lowsodium, gluten-free, too. $$$ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun. SAUSAGE PARADISE Deli & Bakery, 8602 Baymeadows Rd., 571-9817, spjax.com. F This innovative new spot offers a variety of European sausages, homestyle European dinners, smoked barbecue, stuffed cheeseburgers. $$ TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE WELL Watering Hole, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com. New bistro has local craft beers, wines by the glass or bottle, champagne cocktails. Meatloaf sandwiches, pulled Peruvian chicken, homestyle vegan black bean burgers. $$ BW K TO D Tue.-Sat. WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows, Ste. 135, 634-7208, whiskeyjax.com. New gastropub has craft beers, burgers, handhelds, tacos, whiskey. $$ FB L D Sat. & Sun.; D Daily. ZESTY INDIA, 8358 Point Meadows Dr., 329-3676, zesty india.com. Asian/European fare; tandoori lamb chops, rosemary tikka. Vegetarian cooked separately. $ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun.

BEACHES

(Locations are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002, alspizza.com. F New York-style, gourmet pizzas, baked dishes. All-day happy hour Mon.-Thur. $ FB K TO L D Daily ANGIE’S SUBS, 1436 Beach Blvd., 246-2519. ANGIE’S GROM, 204 Third Ave. S., 246-7823. F BOJ winner. Subs made with fresh ingredients for more than 25 years. One

DINING DIRECTORY word: Peruvian. Huge salads, blue-ribbon iced tea. $ BW TO L D Daily BEACHSIDE Seafood Restaurant & Market, 120 Third St. S., 444-8862, beachsideseafood.info. Full fresh seafood market; baskets, fish tacos, daily fish specials, Philly cheesesteaks. Dine indoors. on second-floor open-air deck. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BOLD BEAN Coffee Roasters, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201. F BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. BREEZY Coffee Shop Café, 235 Eighth Ave. S., 241-2211, breezycoffeeshopcafe.com. Casual, familyowned. Fresh baked goods, espres sos, locally roasted Costa Rican organic/Breezy Bold coffees, vegan/glutenfree options. Sandwiches, local beer, wine, mimosas. $ BW K TO R L Daily BUDDHA THAI Bistro, 301 10th Ave. N., 712-4444, buddhathaibistro.com. Proprietors are from Thailand; every authentic dish is made with fresh ingredients. $$ FB TO L D Daily CANTINA MAYA Sports Bar & Grille, 1021 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-3227. F Popular spot serves margaritas, Latin food, burgers. Sports on TVs. $$ FB K L D Tue.-Sun. CULHANE’S Irish Pub, 967 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 2499595, culhanesirishpub.com. F Bite Club. Upscale pub owned and run by County Limerick sisters. Shepherd’s pie, corned beef; gastropub fare. $$ FB K R Sat. & Sun.; L Fri.-Sun.; D Tue.-Sun. ESPETO Brazilian Steakhouse, 1396 Beach Blvd., 388-4884, espetosteakhouse.com. Just relocated, serving beef, pork, lamb, chicken, sausage; full menu, bar fare, craft cocktails, Brazilian beers. $$ FB D Daily EUROPEAN STREET Café, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001. F BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. FLYING IGUANA Taqueria & Tequila Bar, 207 Atlantic Blvd., N.B., 853-5680 F Latin American, Southwest tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana sandwiches. 100+ tequilas. $ FB L D Daily HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815, harmoniousmonks.net. F SEE MANDARIN. LARRY’S, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE ORANGE PARK. LILLIE’S Coffee Bar, 200 First St., N.B., 249-2922, lilliescoffeebar.com. F Locally roasted coffee, eggs, bagels, flatbreads, sandwiches, desserts. Dine inside or out,

RAGTIME Tavern & Seafood Grill, 207 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F For 30+ years, iconic seafood place has served blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily happy hour. $$ FB L D Daily SALT LIFE Food Shack, 1018 Third St. N., 372-4456, saltlife foodshack.com. BOJ winner. Specialty items: signature tuna poke bowl, fresh rolled sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp, in modern open-air space. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SLIDERS Seafood Grille & Oyster Bar, 218 First St., N.B., 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille.com. Popular beachcasual spot. Faves: Fresh fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, ice cream sandwiches. $$ FB K L Sat. & Sun.; D Nightly SNEAKERS Sports Grille, 111 Beach Blvd., 482-1000, sneakerssportsgrille.com. BOJ winner. 20+ beers on tap, TVs, cheerleaders. Happy hour Mon.-Fri. $ FB K L D Daily SURFWICHES Sandwich Shop, 1537 Penman Rd., 241-6996, surfwiches.com. Craft sandwich shop has steaks and hoagies made to order. $ BW TO K L D Daily TACOLU BAJA MEXICANA, 1712 Beach Blvd., 249-8226, tacolu.com. BOJ winner. Fresh, Baja-style fare: fish tacos, tequila (more than 135 kinds) and mezcal. Bangin’ shrimp, carne asada, carnitas, daily fresh fish selections. Madefresh-daily guacamole. $$ FB K R Sat. & Sun.; L D Tue.-Fri.

DOWNTOWN

AKEL’S Delicatessen, 21 W. Church St., 665-7324, akelsdeli.com. F New York-style deli offers freshly made subs (3 Wise Guys, Champ), burgers, gyros, breakfast bowls, ranchero wrap, vegetarian dishes. $ K TO B L Mon.-Fri. THE CANDY APPLE Café & Cocktails, 400 N. Hogan St., 353-9717. Sandwiches, entrées, salads. $$ FB K L, Mon.; L D Tue.-Sun. CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282. F Chef Sam Hamidi has been serving genuine Italian fare for 35+ years: veal, seafood, gourmet pizza. The homemade salad dressing is a specialty. $ BW K L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. CHOMP CHOMP, 106 E. Adams St., 762-4667. F Chefinspired street food: panko-crusted chicken, burgers, chinois tacos, bahn mi and barbecue. $ L Tue.-Sat.; D Thur.-Sat. FIONN MacCOOL’S Irish Pub & Restaurant, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1547, fionnmacs.com. Casual dining with an uptown Irish atmosphere, serving fish and chips, Guinness lamb stew and black-and-tan brownies. $$ FB K L D Daily OLIO Market, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com.

GRILL ME!

MERVAN KIZGIN Oceana Diner, 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, Intracoastal BIRTHPLACE: Turkey YEARS IN THE BIZ: 15 FAVORITE RESTAURANT: Ovinte and Brio in Jacksonville BEST CUISINE STYLE: Italian, Turkish GO-TO INGREDIENTS: Thyme, oregano, garlic, white pepper and basil IDEAL MEAL: Crab Benedict, waffle fiesta, Philly cheesesteak and grilled salmon. WILL NOT CROSS MY LIPS: Frozen boxed meal INSIDER’S SECRET: I get satisfaction seeing people leave with a smile. CULINARY TREAT: I enjoy eating and cooking; I don’t feel guilty.

patio, courtyard. $$ BW TO B L D Daily THE LOVING CUP HASH HOUSE, 610 Third St. S., 422-0644. New place has locally sourced fare, locally roasted coffee, gluten-free, vegan, vegetarian, healthful dishes – no GMOs or hormones allowed. $ K TO B R L Tue.-Sun. MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com. F Bite Club. BOJ winner. Hoagies, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers. Nonstop happy hour. $ FB K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1534 Third St. N., 853-6817. F BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., N.B., 249-5573, mezzarestaurantandbar.com. F Near-the-ocean spot, 20+ years. Casual bistro fare: gourmet wood-fired pizzas, nightly specials. Dine inside, on patio. $$$ FB K D Mon.-Sat. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ Pit, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636, mojobbq.com. F BOJ winner. Pulled pork, beef, chicken, Carolina-style barbecue, Delta fried catfi sh, sides. $$ FB K TO L D Daily M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 241-2599, mshack burgers.com. F BOJ winner. Burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes. $$ BW L D Daily NORTH BEACH Bistro, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, A.B., 372-4105, nbbistro.com. F Bite Club. Chef-driven kitchen; hand-cut steaks, fresh local seafood, tapas. Happy Hour. $$$ FB K R Sun.; L D Daily OCEAN 60 Wine Bar, Martini Room, 60 Ocean Blvd., A.B., 247-0060, ocean60.com. BOJ winner. Continental cuisine, fresh seafood, dinner specials, seasonal menu in a formal dining room or casual Martini Room. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. POE’S TAVERN, 363 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 241-7637. Gastropub, 50+ beers, gourmet hamburgers, ground in-house, cooked to order; hand-cut French fries, fish tacos, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ FB K L D Daily

F From-scratch soups, sandwiches. Home to duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L Mon.-Fri. SWEET PETE’S, 1922 Pearl St., 376-7161. F All-natural sweet shop has candy made of all natural flavors, no artificial anything. Several kinds of honey. $ TO Daily ZODIAC Bar & Grill, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodiacbarandgrill.com. Mediterranean cuisine, American fare, paninis, vegetarian dishes. Daily lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. Happy hour Wed.-Sat. $ FB L Mon.-Fri.

FLEMING ISLAND

GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 1915 East-West Pkwy., 541-0009. F BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. F BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteysfishcamp.com. F Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly YOUR PIE, 1545 C.R. 220, Ste. 125, 379-9771, yourpie. com. F Owner Mike Sims’ idea: Choose from 3 doughs, 9 sauces, 7 cheeses, 40+ toppings. 5 minutes in a brick oven and ta-da: It’s your pie. Subs, sandwiches, gelato. $$ BW K TO L D Daily

INTRACOASTAL WEST

AL’S Pizza, 14286 Beach, Ste. 31, 223-0991. F SEE BEACHES.

APPLEBEE’S, 13201 Atlantic Blvd., 220-5823. SEE MANDARIN DICK’S, 14286 Beach Blvd., 223-0115. F BOJ winner.

MAY 27-JUNE 2, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 41

DINING DIRECTORY RESTAURANT MEDURE, 818 A1A N., 543-3797, restaurantmedure.us. Chef David Medure offers global flavors. Small plates, creative drinks, happy hour. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat.

SEE PONTE VEDRA.

LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 10750 Atlantic, Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE ORANGE PARK. OCEANA DINER, 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 374-1915, oceanadiner.com. Traditional American diner fare served in a family atmosphere. $ K TO B L Daily TIME OUT Sports Grill, 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 223-6999, timeoutsportsgrill.com. F Locally-ownedand-operated. Hand-tossed pizzas, wings, wraps. Daily drink specials, HDTVs, pool tables. Late-nite menu. $$ FB L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly

RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE

13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies.com. BOJ winner. Authentic Mediterranean peasant cuisine updated for American tastes; tapas, blackened octopus, risotto of the day, coconut mango curry chicken. $$ BW L D Tue.-Sat. AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 245 Riverside Ave., 791-3336. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., 388-8384. F SEE BEACHES. APPLEBEE’S, 8635 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 201, 771-0000. 6251 103rd St., 772-9020. 843 Lane Ave. S., 378-5445.

JULINGTON CREEK

DICK’S, 525 S.R. 16, Ste. 101, 825-4540. BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA.

METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO.

MANDARIN, NW ST. JOHNS

SEE MANDARIN.

BLACK SHEEP Restaurant, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, black sheep5points.com. New American with a Southern twist; locally sourced ingredients. Rooftop bar. $$$ FB R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily BOLD BEAN Coffee Roasters, 869 Stockton St., Stes. 1 & 2, 855-1181. BOJ winner. F Small-batch, artisanal coffee roasting. Organic, fair trade. $ BW TO B L Daily BREW FIVE POINTS, 1024 Park St., 714-3402, brewfive

AKEL’S Delicatessen, 12926 Gran Bay Pkwy. W., 880-2008. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F SEE BEACHES.

ORANGE PARK

ARON’S PIZZA, 650 Park Ave., 269-1007, aronspizza. com. F Family-owned restaurant has eggplant dishes, manicotti, New York-style pizzas. $$ BW K TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS, 1540 Wells Rd., 269-2122. BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA.

THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club. com. Southern-style fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. Extensive bourbon selection. $$$ FB D Tue.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove Springs, 284-7789, larryssubs.com. F For 30-plus years, they’ve piled ’em high and served ’em fast. Hot/cold subs, soups. $ K TO B L D Daily THE PIG BAR-B-Q, 1330 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 170, 213-9744, thepigbarbq.com. Bite Club. SEE SOUTHSIDE. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611, roadhouseonline.net. F For 35-plus years, the rock & roll bar for locals has been serving wings, sandwiches, burgers, quesadillas; 75-plus imported beers. A large craft beer selection is also available. $ FB L D Daily SNACSHACK, 179 College Dr., Ste. 19, 682-7622, snacshack.menu. F The new bakery and café offers bagels, muffins, breads, cookies, brownies and snack treats. $$ K BW TO B, L & D Daily

PONTE VEDRA

AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A N., 543-1494. F SEE BEACHES. DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 100 Marketside Ave., 829-8134, dickswingsandgrill.com. F BOJ winner. NASCARthemed; 365 kinds of wings, 1/2-lb. burgers, ribs. $ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S SUBS, 830 A1A N., 273-3993. F SEE ORANGE PARK. PUSSER’S BAR & GRILLE, 816 A1A N., Ste. 100, 280-7766, pussersusa.com. F BOJ winner. Bite Club. Caribbean cuisine, regional faves: Jamaican grilled pork ribs, Trinidad smoked duck, lobster macaroni & cheese dinner. Tropical drinks. $$ FB K TO L D Daily

42 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MAY 27-JUNE 2, 2015

PONTE VEDRA.

EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 2753 Park St., 384-9999. BOJ winner. 130+ import beers, 20 on tap. NYC-style Reuben, sandwiches. Outside dining at some. $ BW K L D Daily GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. BOJ winner. F Juice bar; certified organic fruits, vegetables. 300+ craft/import beers, 50 wines, produce, humanely raised meats, deli, raw items, vegan, vitamins, herbs. Wraps, sandwiches. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS Asian Street Fare, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. BOJ winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls. $ BW TO L D Daily JOHNNY’S Deli & Grille, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055.

BITE-SIZED

photo by Caron Streibich

APPLEBEE’S, 14560 St. Augustine Rd., 262-7605, apple bees.com. Completely remodeled in the area – new look, new appetizers (half-price after 10 p.m.) Most are open until midnight or later. $$ FB K TO L D Daily ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199. F Dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant). Greek beers. $$ BW L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. BROOKLYN PIZZA, 11406 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 288-9211. 13820 St. Augustine Rd., 880-0020. Brooklyn Special. Calzones, white pizza, homestyle lasagna. $$ BW TO L D Daily THE COFFEE BARD, 9735 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 13, 260-0810, thecoffeebard.com. New world coffeehouse has coffees, breakfast, drinks. $$ TO B L D Tue.-Sun. DICK’S WINGS, 10391 Old St. Augustine, 880-7087. F BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. GIGI’S RESTAURANT, 3130 Hartley Rd., 694-4300, jaxra mada.com. In Ramada. Prime rib, crab leg buffet Fri. & Sat., blue-jean brunch Sun., daily buffets. $$$ FB B R L D Daily HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 30, 880-3040, harmoniousmonks.net. F American steakhouse: Angus steaks, burgers, ribs, wraps. $$ FB K L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 11365 San Jose Blvd., 674-2945. F SEE ORANGE PARK. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. F Organic soups, sandwiches, wraps, baked goods, prepared foods. Juice, smoothie and coffee bar. All-natural, organic beers, wines. Indoor, outdoor dining. $ BW TO K B L D Daily THE PIG Bar-B-Q, 14985 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 108, 374-0393, thepigbarbq.com. Bite Club. SEE SOUTHSIDE. WHOLE FOODS Market, 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 22, 288-1100, wholefoodsmarket.com. F Expansive prepared-food department with 80+ items, full-service/ self-service hot bar, salad bar, soup bar, dessert bar, pizza, sushi, sandwich stations. $$ BW TO L D Daily

points.com. F Local craft beer, espresso, coffee and wine bar. Rotating drafts, 75+ canned craft beers; sodas, tea. Rotating seasonal menu of waffles, pastries, toasts, desserts to pair with specialty coffees, craft beers. $$ BW K B L Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco.com. Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free, vegetarian options. $ BW L D Daily. DERBY ON PARK, 1068 Park St., 379-3343. New American cuisine, upscale retro atmosphere in historic landmark building. Shrimp & grits, lobster bites, 10-oz. gourmet burger. Dine inside or out. $$ FB TO Weekend brunch. B, L D Tue.-Sun. DICK’S, 5972 San Juan Ave., 693-9258. BOJ winner. SEE

TACO TIME

Reasonably priced Mexican cuisine — and cow tongue just like Grandma used to make

BITE SIZED

causes it to be tough) and served with diced FINALLY CHECKING PEPE’S OFF my ‘must-try’ onions, generous cilantro sprigs and lime list felt like an accomplishment since this strip wedges. The chicken taco was good, yet the mall find isn’t a place I pass on my day-to-day pork carnitas left something to be desired. It commute. Pepe’s has a seat-yourself dining was dry and unremarkable. Surprisingly, the area and doubles as a fully stocked Mexican refried beans and rice included in the platter grocery store. I was instantly drawn to its were well-seasoned and full of flavor. festive flair: a stack of sombreros, oversized Standouts were the chile relleno platter piñatas, colorful wall murals and blaring music, ($7.99) and chicken sopa ($2.99), a savory all helping to set the mood. corn cake topped with shredded chicken, Our group of four grabbed a booth and lettuce, sour cream and ordered a bucket of Negra cheese. The chicken torta Modela beers (6 for $15). We PEPE’S HACIENDA ($4.99), a Mexican sandwich, eagerly worked our way through & RESTAURANT was another winner, with a complimentary basket of 3615 Dupont Ave., Ste. 900, its soft bread, juicy breaded thick, crispy tortilla chips and San Jose, 636-8131 chicken, thick smear of mayo, standard-fare salsa which was shredded iceberg, sliced seemingly void of cilantro but tomato, onion, pickled jalapeno slices and heavy on the garlic. Pepe’s has a broad menu with exceptionally creamy avocado. Service (read: one waitress for the entire low prices. Tacos (corn or flour) are cheap, restaurant) was slow, so skip Pepe’s if you’re on ranging from $1.50 to $2.25. We chose the a schedule. If you have time, though, definitely more authentic preparation (corn) on our take in the ambience and sit back with a cold three-taco platter ($6.99), served with rice cerveza or two. And for $59 for the four of us, and refried beans. The lengua, or cow tongue, including beers, Pepe’s can’t be beat. was the best of the tacos. My grandmother’s iteration was my fi rst introduction to cow Caron Streibich tongue, so I was pleased to find Pepe’s lengua biteclub@folioweekly.com cooked correctly (not overcooked, which facebook.com/folioweeklybitesized

DINING DIRECTORY F Casual spot; sandwiches, classic salads, homefries. One word: Reuben. $ TO B L Daily KNEAD BAKESHOP, 1173 Edgewood Ave. S. Locally-owned, family-run; made-from-scratch pastries, artisan breads, pies, specialty sandwiches, soups. $ TO B L Tue.-Sun. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794. 7895 Normandy Blvd., 781-7600. 8102 Blanding Blvd., 779-1933. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MONROE’S Smokehouse Bar-B-Q, 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551, monroessmokehousebbq.com. Wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey, chicken, ribs. Sides: beans, baked beans, mac-n-cheese, collards. $$ K TO L Mon.-Sat.; D Fri. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F BOJ winner. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434, mossfire. com. F Southwestern fish tacos, enchiladas. Happy hour Mon.-Sat. upstairs lounge, all day Sun. $$ FB K L D Daily O’BROTHERS Irish Pub, 1521 Margaret St., 854-9300, obrothersirishpub.com. F Traditional shepherd’s pie with Stilton crust, Guinness mac-n-cheese, fish-n-chips. Patio dining. $$ FB K TO L D Daily THE PIG BAR-B-Q, 5456 Normandy Blvd., 783-1606, thepigbarbq.com. Bite Club. SEE SOUTHSIDE. RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969. Bar food. $ D SILVER COW, 1506 King St., 379-6968, silvercowjax. com. Laid-back, cozy, subdued spot serves craft beers, wines. The full menu is ever-expanding. $$ BW L D Daily. SILVER COW ANNEX, 1508 King St., 379-6968, annexjax.com. Adjacent to Silver Cow; serves craft beers, wines. Bigscreen TVs, games. Chorizo tacos, burgers. $$ BW D Daily. SOUTHERN ROOTS Filling Station, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. Healthy, light vegan fare made fresh daily with local, organic ingredients. Specials, served on bread, local greens or rice, change daily. Coffees, teas. $ Tue.-Sun. SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside, Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushicafejacksonville.com. F Sushi variety: Monster Roll, Jimmy Smith Roll; faves Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll. Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. Indoor or patio. $$ BW L D Daily

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F SEE BEACHES. APPLEBEE’S, 225 S.R. 312, 825-4099. SEE MANDARIN. AVILES, 32 Avenida Menendez, 829-2277 F Inside Hilton Inn Bayfront. Progressive European menu; made-to-order pasta night, wine dinners, chophouse nights, breakfast buffet. Sun. champagne brunch, bottomless mimosas. $$$ FB K B L D Daily BARLEY REPUBLIC, 48 Spanish St., 547-2023, barley republicph.com. Old City’s only Irish gastropub in historic area has fish & chips, shepherd’s pie, lambburger, craft beers and spirits. $$ FB K TO L D Daily CANDLELIGHT SOUTH, 1 Anastasia Blvd., 819-0588. Casual spot offers fish tacos, sandwiches, wings, desserts, sangria, daily specials. $ BW K TO L D Daily THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655, thefloridian staug.com. Updated Southern fare, fresh ingredients. Vegetarian, gluten-free. Fried green tomatobruschetta, grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D Wed.-Mon. GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F Local mainstay for more than 25 years. The varied menu changes twice daily. Signature dish: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. Sun. brunch. $$ FB R Sun.; L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F Bite Club. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. METRO DINER, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323. F BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova, 342-5264. F BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. SALT LIFE Food Shack, 321 A1A Beach Blvd., 217-3256, saltlifefoodshack.com. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER

APPLEBEE’S, 4507 Town Center Pkwy., 645-3590. SEE MANDARIN.

BRIO TUSCAN GRILLE, 4910 Big Island Dr., 807-9960. Upscale Northern Italian fare, wood-grilled and oven-roasted steaks, chops, seafood. Dine indoors or al fresco on the terrace. $$$ FB K TO R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily M SHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000, mshack burgers.com. F BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr., 900-7730, ovinte. com. European-style dining influenced by Italy, Spain and the Mediterranean. Small plates, entrée-size portions, selections from the cheese a charcuterie menu. $$$ BW TO R D Daily

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

BASIL THAI & BAR, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190, basilthaijax.com. F Authentic Thai dishes include Pad Thai, a variety of curries, tempuras, vegetarian dishes, seafood, stir-fry and daily specials. $$ FB L D Mon.-Sat. BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox. com. F Mediterranean and French inspired cuisine includes steak frites, oak-fired pizza and a new raw bar with seasonal selections. $$$ FB TO L D Daily DICK’S, 1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110. BOJ winner.

SEE PONTE VEDRA.

EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 398-9500. BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. $ BW K L D Daily FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusionsushijax.com. F Upscale sushi spot serves a variety of fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ K L D Daily THE GROTTO Wine & Tapas Bar, 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726. F Artisanal cheese plates, empanadas, bruschetta, cheesecake. 60+ wines by the glass. $$$ BW Tue.-Sun. HAMBURGER MARY’S Bar & Grille, 3333 Beach Blvd., Ste. 1, 551-2048, hamburgermarys.com. F Wings, sammies, nachos, entrées, specialty drinks, burgers. $$ K TO FB L D Daily KITCHEN ON SAN MARCO, 1402 San Marco Blvd., 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com. New gastropub has local and national craft beers, specialty cocktails and a seasonal menu focusing on fresh, locally sourced ingredients and cuisine. Now serving Sunday brunch. $$ FB L D Daily MEZZE Bar & Grill, 2016 Hendricks Ave., 683-0693, mezzejax.com. Classic cocktails, fresh basil martinis, 35 draft beers, local/craft brews, Mediterranean cuisine. Hookah patio. Happy hour. $$ FB D Daily MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922, matthews restaurant.com. Chef Matthew Medure’s flagship. Fine dining, artfully presented cuisine, small plates, martini/ wine lists. Happy hour Mon.-Fri. Reservations. $$$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metrodiner.com. F BOJ winner. Original upscale diner. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. $$ B R L Daily MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200. F BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PIZZA PALACE, 1959 San Marco Ave., 399-8815, pizzapalacejax.com. F Family-owned; homestyle faves: spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, lasagna. Outside dining. $$ BW K TO L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Ave., 398-3005, taverna sanmarco.com. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; local produce, meats. Craft beers, handcrafted cocktails. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily

OVERSET

SOUTHSIDE, TINSELTOWN

360° GRILLE, LATITUDE 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555, latitude360.com. F Popular place serves seafood, steaks, burgers, chicken, sandwiches, pizza. Patio, movie theater. $$ FB TO L D Daily AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 7077 Bonneval Rd., 332-8700. F SEE DOWNTOWN.

ALHAMBRA Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. USA’s longest-running dinner theater; Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus. Reservations. $$ FB D Tue.-Sun. APPLEBEE’S, 5055 JTB Blvd., 296-6895. SEE MANDARIN. BARBERITOS, 4320 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., Ste. 106, 807-9060. F SEE AMELIA ISLAND. DANCIN DRAGON, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138D, 363-9888. BOGO lunches, Asian fusion menu. $$ FB K L D Daily DICK’S WINGS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 619-0954. BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. THE DIM SUM ROOM, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138D, 363-9888, thedimsumroom.com. Shrimp dumplings, beef tripe, sesame ball. Traditional Hong Kong noodles, barbecue. $ FB K L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717. BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955. F Bite Club. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BAR B-Q, 10771 Beach Blvd., 996-7900, monroessmokehousebbq.com. SEE RIVERSIDE. THE PIG BAR-B-Q, 11925 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 619-0321, thepigbarbq.com. Bite Club. Popular fourth-generation barbecue place, family-owned for 60+ years. The signature item is mustard-based “pig sauce.” $ BW K TO B, L D Daily TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Ct., 854-0426, tavernayamas.com. F Bite Club. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, wines, desserts. Belly dancing. $$ FB K L D Daily TOMMY’S BRICK OVEN PIZZA, 4160 Southside Blvd., Ste. 2, 565-1999, tbopizza.com. F New York-style thin crust, brick-oven-baked pizzas (gluten-free), calzones, sandwiches. Boylan’s soda. Curbside pick-up. $$ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE VISCONDE’S Argentinian Grill, 11925 Beach Blvd., Ste. 201, 379-3925. The area’s only Argentinian place. Traditional steaks, varieties of sausages, pasta, sandwiches, empañadas, wines. $$$ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

HOLA Mexican Restaurant, 1001 N. Main St., 356-3100, holamexicanrestaurant.com. F Fajitas, burritos, enchiladas, daily specials. Happy hour; sangria. $ BW K TO L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999. SEE O.PARK. THE PIG BAR-B-Q, 9760 Lem Turner Rd., 765-4336, thepigbarbq.com. Bite Club. SEE SOUTHSIDE.

MAY 27-JUNE 2, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 43

Overset for the web

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

SOBER DRIVER PAYS Sapearya Sao, then 25 and sober that night in 2013 in Portland, Oregon, was rammed by a drunk hit-and-run driver (Nathan Wisbeck), who later rammed another drunk driver — but Sao is defending the lawsuit by the two people injured in Wisbeck’s second collision. Sao recently settled the lawsuit brought by that second drunk driver, but still faces a $9.8 million lawsuit brought by the estate of the second drunk driver’s late passenger, which argues that if Sao had not pursued Wisbeck in an attempt to identify him, the second crash would not have occurred. That crash also might not have occurred if the second driver — 0.11 blood alcohol — had been sober.

GREAT ART CLASS! Among the requirements of “Visual Arts 104A” at the University of California, San Diego is that, for the final exam, students would make a presentation while nude, in a darkened room. In May, Professor Ricardo Dominguez (who’d also be nude for the finals) told KGTV a nude “gesture” was indeed required (and disclosed to students in the first class) as a “performance of self,” a “standard canvas for performance art and body art.” After an inquiry by KGTV, the department chairman announced nakedness would not be required for course credit — even though Dominguez said in his 11 years teaching the course, no student had ever complained.

WAIT, WHAT? Murder “contracts” are ubiquitous in novels and movies, but an actual murder contract cannot be enforced in American courts. However, a recent “contract” case in Norway (according to Norwegian newspaper Varden, as reported on Vice.com) came down hard on a hit man who got cold feet. The hit man, who stalled repeatedly, was finally sued by the payer, who won a jury verdict (later set aside) for the unrequited killing. Then, because the hit man had attempted to extort even more money from the payer (to find a substitute killer), the hit man was fined $1,200.

CRIME IN FLORIDA Daniel Palmer, 26, was arrested in Miami Beach in April after he returned to the crime scene area to berate his victim, a New York tourist from whom he had snatched a “fake” necklace at gunpoint. Palmer initially got away, but was upset and returned to confront the tourist, who pointed out Palmer’s car to an officer. Ms. Joey Mudd, 34, of Largo was arrested in May, along with her husband, Chad, on charges that they routinely shared marijuana and even cocaine with their daughters, aged 13 and 14. Deputies said Ms. Mudd freely admitted she used the drugs as incentives to get the girls to do their chores and do well in school.

LATEST RELIGIOUS MESSAGES The long-time swingers’ club in Nashville, Tennessee (The Social Club), is seeking to relocate to the trendy Madison neighborhood — near two churches and an upscale private Christian school in a state that bars sex businesses within 1,000 feet of a church or school. The Social Club’s preferred solution: re-open as the United Fellowship Center and attempt to hold services on Sunday mornings, converting, for example, its “dungeon room” into the “choir room.” While courts are reluctant to examine religious doctrine, they often judge cases on “sincerity of belief.”

YA PAYS FOR IT ONE WAY OR ANOTHER British forensic scientist Dr. Brooke Magnanti, 39, has written two best-selling books and inspired a TV series based on her life, but she recently filed a lawsuit accusing her ex-boyfriend of libeling her — by telling people she was NOT formerly a prostitute. A major part of Magnanti’s biography is how she paid for university studies through prostitution — which has supposedly enhanced her marketability.

A NOTW Classic (May 2011) Last Words: “Go ahead and shoot me,” said Rodney Gilbert, 57, who was embroiled in a domestic tiff with his girlfriend, Kimberly Gustafson, in Ocala, Florida, in February (2011). According to police, Gustafson, after cocking the gun in front of witnesses, turned to walk away without firing until Gilbert pursued her, shouting his final words several more times. “You’re going to shoot? Right here,” said now-deceased Roberto Corona, pointing to his chest. Corona was refusing to reveal the whereabouts of his sister in January (2011) to her husband, David Sanchez-Dominguez, who was pointing his handgun at Corona. Chuck Shepherd WeirdNews@earthlink.net

44 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MAY 27-JUNE 2, 2015

YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK About three-fourths of the 1,580 IRS workers found to have deliberately attempted to evade federal income tax during the last 10 years have nonetheless retained their jobs, according to a May report by the agency’s inspector general. Some even received promotions and performance bonuses (though an internal rule, adopted last year, now forbids such bonuses to one adjudged to owe back taxes). IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT? Lightly regulated investors’ “hedge funds” (the province of wealthy people and large institutions) failed in 2014 (for the sixth straight year) to outearn ordinary stock index funds following the S&P 500. However, at hedge funds, underperformance seems unpunishable — the top 25 fund managers still collectively earned $11.62 billion in fees and

salaries (an average of over $464 million each). The best-paid hedge fund manager earned $1.3 billion, more than 48 times what the highest-paid major league baseball player earned. OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER A veterinarian at Brighton (U.K.) Pet Hospital, operating on Garry, age 2, a black-and-white cat with a tumor-like bulge in his abdomen, found instead (and removed) a large collection of shoelaces and hairbands that might soon have cost Garry his life. Benno, the Belgian Malinois, of Mountain Home, Arkansas, has eaten a ridiculous series of items over his four years, but his latest meal, in April, was 23 live rounds of .308-caliber bullets (all swallowed after Benno partially gnawed them). Among Benno’s other delicacies: a bra, lawn mower air filter, TV remote, styrofoam peanuts, drywall, magnets, and an entire loaf of bread still in the wrapper. LEAST COMPETENT SNAKE Owner Aaron Rouse was feeding his python, Winston, a tasty rat in May, using barbecue tongs, when Winston got hold of the tongs and wouldn’t let go. Rouse, of Adelaide, Australia, decided not to engage in a tug-of-war, but when he returned (believing Winston would see no food value in the metal clamps), the tongs had been swallowed and were halfway through the snake’s comically bloated body. After taking X-rays (that became Internet attractions), a veterinarian at Adelaide University removed the tongs by surgery. BRIGHT IDEAS Body cameras for police officers is yesterday’s news. At the Sanmenxia Canyon Rapids in China’s Henan province, the issue is body cameras for lifeguards. The all-female White Swan Women’s Rafting Rescue Team has complained recently about swimmers deliberately throwing themselves into the water so they could scream for help — to molest the women when they came in to save them. Attaching cameras to the women’s helmets and legs is expected to deter perverts. BUT I KNOW WHAT I LIKE “Abstract impressionist” Mark Rothko has appeared in NOTW both for the extraordinary prices folks pay for his uncomplicated paintings and their sometimes-indistinct differentiation from squiggles made by playful toddlers. Sotheby’s auction house announced in May that his “Untitled, (Blue and Yellow)” had been sold for $46.5 million. The “Untitled” canvas consists of three unevenly edged rectangles — a yellow on top of a blue, on top of a small yellow strip. Sotheby’s catalog described the piece as one that shows “how truly miraculous a painting can be.” Chuck Shepherd WeirdNews@earthlink.net

HELP WANTED

PHONE ACTRESSES FROM HOME Must have dedicated land line And great voice. 21+ Up to $18 per hour. Flex HRS./ most Wknds 1-800-403-7772 Lipservice.net (AAN CAN) (6/24/2015)

HELLO, YOUNG LOVERS (aka ISU writers)! The limit for ISU notices is 40 words ONLY. No messages with more than

40 words will be accepted. Please keep your message short & sweet. Thanks! I CAN’T WEIGHT Me: Tall, blonde and flirtatious. You: Handsome and muscular. You were working on your fitness and I was your witness. Maybe we should get sweaty together? ;) When: April 20. Where: Retro Fitness. #1521-0527

0% IRISH, 100% DRUNK You: Orange sack pack and white sleeveless shirt. Me: White collared shirt and green tie. Didn’t expect to have a dance partner. Will you shake it off with me again? When: March 17. Where: Brix Taphouse. #1510-0325

UNFORGETTABLE I pay great attention to small things, I feel so blessed that you were in my presences. Did you come back just to see me? I hope so, ’cause I love seeing you. In any color white, blue, coral … When: May 11. Where: Parked. #1520-0520

LITTLE DRUMMER BOY You: Black, bald, beautiful. Me: Hungry and watching. I was behind you in line while you pretended to play drums like Lars Ulrich. Can I play with your drumstick? When: March 6. Where: Taco Bell @ Hodges. #1509-0311

VOTE FOR ME You: Widespread Panic shirt. You said you may actually vote Republican if Billary gets nomination. Wanted to speak more, but you had to get home to dogs and pet pigeon. Let’s get naughty in voting booth! ;). When: May 7. Where: McDonald’s. #1519-0513

FREEBIRD EXPENDABLES SHOW On 2/25. We talked at very end by merchant stand. Short convo; said you’re finishing teaching degree. You: Very cute brunette, awesome smile. Would like to see you again! When: Feb. 25. Where: Freebird Live. #1508-0304

VILANO PUBLIX; PULLED GROIN MUSCLE! Produce/dairy around 8 a.m. You live St. Augustine, injured groin surfing Puerto Rico. Left, came back; so flustered talking you forgot eggs. You: PT, work, fishing, watch fi ght. Me: to beach. Should’ve given my number! When: May 2. Where: Vilano Beach Publix. #1518-0506

GIRL WITH THE SCAR On face, eye to forehead. ISU at gay bar, long ago; wanted to know you. My heart skipped a beat. You were and still are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen; always cross my mind. When: April 2014. Where: The bar. #1507-0304

MR. MATRIX You: Dorky in a really sexy way. Me: Drew Barrymore look-alike. Stopped at your booth and heard you say you originally came up with the idea for “The Matrix.” You can give me your red or blue pill anytime, stud! When: April 10. Where: One Spark. #1517-0415

NICE TO MEET You: Tall, handsome, broken wrist. Me: Cute, athletic, long sandy hair. Helped me sign out paddleboard; said nice to meet. Maybe you caught my name; don’t know yours. Meet 11 a.m. Feb. 13 at the lake. When: Jan. 31. Where: UNF Lake Oneida. #1506-0211

JUICE BAR BABE You: Incredibly cute girl working juice bar. Braided blonde hair, nose ring. Your favorite is Pineapple Julius. Me: Suave, long-haired Adonis, right arm tattoo, sees you from afar, often there. Let’s meet, talk about more you like. When: April 3. Where: Baymeadows Native Sun. #1516-0408 ENDLESS LOVE You: Handsome, buff, bald man, best smile, driving ivory Cadillac. Me: Short, long hair, blue-eyed girl who works your conversions; my heart melts when I see you. Let’s meet so I can convert you over to a real woman! When: March 4. Where: Baymeadows business. #1515-0408 SMILE’S FOREVER, HOWEVER Bumped into me, Underbelly’s bar, Art Walk. Dark hair, brilliant smile. Taking hygienist work home with you? Talked about smiles, other thing. I’ll make other thing last. You left with friends; didn’t get number. Let’s make smiles! When: April 1. Where: Underbelly. #1514-0408 BEAUTIFUL SOCCER HOOLIGAN You: Blonde, glasses, ripped rolled-up jeans, yellow sweater, Armada scarf, temp cheek tattoo. Me: Dark hair, glasses, full sleeves. You behind me, half-time refreshment line. We smiled in section 141 top. Let’s sit side-by-side. When: March 28. Where: EverBank Field. #1513-0401 HAITIAN GENTLEMAN IN PINK Mr. I make airplanes crank for a living. Ms. Blonde alone on corner reading Folio Weekly ISU impatiently waiting; meanwhile collecting the worst pick-up lines. White boy was smooth; you, however, have my attention. When: March 28. Where: Outside De Real Ting. #1512-0401 BEST ASS I’VE SEEN You: Sweaty, dark hair, petite, beautiful Asian lifting heavy (humping weights? Never seen that workout), engrossed in weights and convos with gym regulars. Sorry, couldn’t stop staring. Let’s train together. Whatever you’re doing is working. When: March 16. Where: LA Fitness Atlantic Beach. #1511-0325

I SAW U Connection Made!

ASIAN GODDESS SNAP FITNESS Me: Purposefully stretching longer, safe creeping distance. You: Gleaming from sweat, holding handstand a respectable amount of time! Took off shoes, socks; caught me watching. Kept gaze. You smiled, continued poses. Left before drool commenced. When: Jan. 20. Where: Snap Fitness. #1505-0204 HOTTIE IN HAMMOCK You: Tall, leggy, brunette, great skin, rocking in hammock at pool. Me: Scotch-loving bald guy who still loves a Fierce Polish Viking. Hoping you’ll rock me tonight like your body rocks in that hammock. When: Jan. 28. Where: Beside the pool. #1504-0128

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HOUSING WANTED

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NOTICES

NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN that the undersigned, desiring to engage in business under the fictitious name of Fresh Start Ministries of Jacksonville at 6926 Playpark Trail in the County of Duval in the City of Jacksonville, Florida 32244 intends to register the said name with the Division of Corporations of Florida Department of State, Tallahassee, Florida Dated at Jacksonville, Florida, this 30th day of April 2015. Owner: Anthony Sims. NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN that the undersigned, desiring to engage in business under the ficticious name of Beautiful Earth at 2533 Chesterbrook Ct. in the County of Duval in the City of Jacksonville, Florida 32224 intends to register the said name with the Division of Corporations of the Florida Department of State, Tallahasee, Florida. Dated at Jacksonville, Florida, this 4th day of March 2015. Owner: Rohini Espinosa.

MISCELLANEOUS

AUTO INSURANCE STARTING AT $25/ MONTH! Call 855-9779537 AAN CAN (6-3-15)

VEHICLES WANTED

CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808

HOT COFFEE MAN You: tall, dark hair, with Starbucks. Me: tall, yellow shirt. ISU at Starbucks 20 minutes before; again in garage stairs. Held door for me, I smiled, thanked you. Remember me? When: Jan. 22. Baptist Medical Ctr. Garage. #1503-0128 BAYMEADOWS BUSINESS You: Bald white guy, sharp dresser, older white Saturn. Me: Slim white guy. Had my eye on you; said hi; you said Happy Holidays Christmas Eve. Let’s do lunch! When: Dec. 24. Where: Baymeadows mgmnt. co. #1502-0114 FILL ’ER UP You: Tall, handsome, blue shirt “Refill.” Me: Sexy, orange dress. Looking for headphones; made small talk. Wanted number; you tired from work. Let’s make beautiful music, Mr. Refill. When: Dec. 30. Where: Best Buy. #1501-0107 LOVER @ WALMART? Sunday, 10:45 a.m., S’s register. You: Tan jacket, glasses, nice-looking man, holiday spirit. Me: Blue jeans, jeans jacket, behind you. Should’ve talked more. I looked for you later. When: Dec. 21. Where: Normandy Walmart. #1500-0107

MAY 27-JUNE 2, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 45

FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

FOLIO WEEKLY PUZZLER by MERL REAGLE. Presented by

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See You Sooner or Later ACROSS

1 1963 role for Shirley 5 Painted Desert sight 9 It runs in the woods 12 Fight night sight 15 Groundhog Day’s Ryerson 18 Serengeti sound 19 Number two son 20 Actor Gulager 21 Outside opening? 22 ___ Miss 23 Answer to, “What makes you so smart, dude?” 26 Makes bubbly 28 Course with demerits 29 San Francisco’s ___ Valley 30 Actor John after not being cast? 32 Popular ride at FordmotorWorld? 36 Sheds feathers 37 Jordan Spieth prop 38 Result if you 12 Down 39 Number of n’s in München 40 Driver’s warning 41 Britain’s baby Charlotte, for example? 46 Mascara target 50 Pec pic, perhaps 51 Looped vase handles 52 Actress Gasteyer 53 ... peas in ___ 55 Orbiter org. 58 Book about a field trip that didn’t end too well? 66 Time of long P.O. lines 68 Coll. game watchdog 70 Baseball family name 71 University VIP 72 Actor famous for his homemade pickles? 76 Word after “welcome” 77 New Ager John 78 ___ Hari 79 Swindled 80 Wearing a watch during “Hamlet,” for example? 83 ___ domini 85 Medieval contest 86 Chest with tablets 88 Burt’s Oscar role 92 Bush seen in Florida 95 Makes blue, e.g. 1

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97 Coffee addict’s comment when he opens his kitchen cabinet? 101 Campus runaround? 103 Sweat cause 105 ___ Plaines, Ill. 106 Smidgen 107 League of intrigue 109 With 114 Across, ad promise of an out-ofstate math camp? 114 See 109 Across 116 Was winning 117 All-in-one Apple 118 Wimps 119 Person who said, “I told him not to go down there, but would he listen? Nooooo”? 125 Ode ___ Nightingale 126 Become 127 Passing stat: abbr. 128 First name in tea 129 Fly catcher 130 Hill raiser 131 Name mentioned often in Patton 132 “Boy ...” 133 Teeming 134 Mlle., in Madrid

DOWN

1 Radio host Glass 2 Elephant-eater of myth 3 O’Hara and O’Sullivan 4 Iron clothes 5 Under Siege actor Nick 6 Decline 7 ___ no. (product ID) 8 Together (with) 9 Lively movements 10 Toby filler 11 Go after 12 Check a tab 13 Perk recipient 14 Discussion site 15 Hardly any 16 Sophocles play 17 Nearly palindromic Tracy-Hepburn film in which they actually discuss a palindrome 24 “That kinda stuff” 25 “Me, ___” 27 Starting

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46 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MAY 27-JUNE 2, 2015

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C U R B A S E A L E S S D E S O T T I H O A D E L R O N E E D O P E N O R D E R Y G O A P A R B O N O P F D I L L E N A Y WO R D N U B I S T I N

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Keith Moon played drums for the rock band The Who. He was once voted the second-greatest drummer in history. But his erratic behavior, often provoked by drugs or alcohol, sometimes interfered with his skill. In 1973, the Who was doing a live concert near San Francisco when the horse tranquilizer that Moon had taken earlier caused him to pass out. The band appealed to the audience for help. “Can anybody play the drums?” asked guitarist Pete Townshend. “I mean somebody good?” 19-year-old amateur drummer Scot Halpin volunteered. He played well enough to finish the show. Some time soon, you may also get an unexpected opportunity to be a substitute. Be ready! TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The weta is a very large insect living in New Zealand. It looks like a robotic grasshopper, with giant black eyes on a long red face, enlarged hind legs with spikes, and floppy, oversized antennae. The native Maori people call it “the god of the ugly things.” This is a term of respect. It’s not “the most monstrous of the ugly things,” “the worst,” “the scariest” or “the most worthless of the ugly things.” Rather, the Maori say it’s the god — the highest, best, most glorious. In the days ahead, you’ll have a close encounter with your version of a “god of ugly things.” It deserves your love and welcome. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You’ve successfully made the transition from brooding caterpillar to social butterfly. Soon you’ll be in your full, fluttery glory, never lingering too long with one thought, one friend, or one identity. Some heavy-duty, level-headed stalwarts may wish you’d be more earthy and anchored, but I don’t. At least for now, having a long attention span is overrated. You’ve entered the fidgety, inquisitive part of your cycle, when flitting, flirting and flickering make perfect sense. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Only one fear is worthy of you. Only one fear is real and important enough to awaken and activate the numb part of your intelligence. For now, retire all lesser fears. Stuff them in a garbage bag, hide them in a closet. Then put on your brave champion face, gather the allies and resources you need, and go forth into glorious battle. Wrestle with your one fear. Reason with it. If necessary, use guile and trickery to gain an advantage. Call on divine inspiration and be a wickedly good truth-teller. This is crucial: Use your fear to awaken and activate the numb part of your intelligence.

T A U L N E S A N F I E B

L A L O I G O R V OWE L E B O O B I S C O A D O R T C H A P E A N O N R A G U O U T O F N E T F E R I C L C I G B A V O T W I N I F O C A N I N T C R O S S U S N A R T E X

L A R D

C E S T I I N T L E U N I D G S I A C L A I A B N A B R A S T U

A L G E B R A

E A T C A K E

M O N R O E

LAST WEEK: Answer pairs hid full names of famous people. So, “labor songs” and “vowelless” hid “Orson” and “Welles,” “red, red robin” and “biscotti” hid “Dred” and “Scott,” etc.

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84 St. with slots 87 Pokes fun at 89 “___ said Mylanta” (old ad slogan) 90 Of the dawn 91 Complication 92 Mother of Oedipus 93 Tax crime 94 Tended tots 96 Jazzman Kenton 97 The Pres., militarily 98 Wail 99 Rustic locale 100 Small bone 102 Myanmar neighbor 104 Chestnut 108 A “Super Mario” brother 109 Social division 110 Deighton or Dawson 111 Dairy outlet? 112 Big D sch. 113 Brewers’ kilns 115 Scallion cousin 120 Numbered rd. 121 Juin preceder 122 Afghan’s answer 123 Diner sign 124 Nutritional fig.

Solution to Incognito (5/20/15) P I S A A D O B L A B O A R E D R O N C D A T L L E V I D R I V A D E R N A B E S MO D P A Y I S T E N N U R E R A E I N D A G O H E F

31 Indigo source 32 Chow ___ 33 1921 sci-fi play 34 Village People hit 35 See red? 37 Airline in old movies 42 It has fancy footwork 43 Siren’s place 44 Loosens, as shoes 45 Way of the East 47 “___, get lost!” 48 Pouch worn with a kilt 49 Biblical peak 54 Prepare for planting 56 Whiplash of cartoons 57 Duke U.’s conference 59 Secret stash 60 Eskimo knife 61 TV’s bionic woman, Jaime ___ 62 Heavy wind 63 Epsilon follower 64 Backed up, in a way 65 The ___Ω degree 66 Actress Mazar or skater Thomas 67 1961 space chimp 69 Subj. line alert 72 Collision sound 73 Stonehenge worshiper 74 L.A. school 75 Air ticket info 81 Tour de France season 82 Day-care break

YOUR LIBIDO, MOON SHADOWS, LAZINESS & KEITH MOON

SOUTHSIDE

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In the nights ahead, try to see your shadow as it’s cast on the ground by the moon. Not by the sun. Look for the shadow made by the light of the moon. It might sound farfetched, but this experience will have a potent impact on your subconscious mind. It may jostle loose secrets you’ve hidden from yourself. It’ll give access to emotions and intuitions you’ve been repressing. It could also help you realize some of the deep, dark stuff you wrestle with is not bad and scary, but fertile and fascinating. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Ancient Greek statesman Demosthenes was regarded as a supremely skilled orator. His speeches were so powerful, he was compared to a “blazing thunderbolt.” And yet as a youngster he spoke awkwardly. His voice was weak, his enunciation weird. To change that, he took drastic measures. He put pebbles in his mouth to force himself to formulate his words with great care. He recited poems as he ran up and down hills. At the beach, he learned to outshout the pounding surf. Be inspired by him. Now’s a great time to plan and launch strenuous

efforts to eventually accomplish one long-range goal. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Long-distance flirtations may soon be just around the corner or across the street. Remote possibilities are taking short cuts as they head your way. The far horizon and lucky stars seem closer than usual. Is it all a mirage? Some may be, but part of it’s very real. If you want to be ready to seize the surprising opportunities that show up in your vicinity, make yourself as innocent and expansive as possible. Drop jaded attitudes. Let the future know you’re ready to receive a flood of beauty, truth and help. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Marriages of convenience will begin to wither away unless they evolve into bonds of affection. Connections fed primarily on fun and games must acquire more ballast. Re-evaluate all contracts and agreements. How are they working for you? Do they still serve the purpose you want them to? Is it time to acknowledge that they’ve transformed and need to be reconfigured? As you take inventory, be tough-minded and compassionate. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Petrarch was an influential 14th-century Italian poet whose main work was Song Book. It’s a collection of 366 poems, most of which are dedicated to Laura, the woman he loved. For 40 years, he churned out testaments of longing and appreciation for her, despite the fact that he and she never spent time together. She was married to another man, and was wrapped up in raising her 11 children. Should we judge Petrarch harshly for choosing a muse so unavailable? I don’t. Muse-choosing is a mysterious, sacred process that transcends logic. You’re entering a new phase in your relationship with muses. It’s either time to choose a new one (or two?) or adjust your bonds with current muses. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “The soul moves in circles,” said ancient Greek philosopher Plotinus. Modern psychologist James Hillmans agreed, and added this: “Hence our lives are not moving straight ahead; instead, hovering, wavering, returning, renewing, repeating.” You’re now in an extra-intense phase of winding and rambling. This is a good thing! You’re spiraling back to get another look at interesting teachings you didn’t master the first time. You’re building on past efforts that weren’t strong enough. Your words of power are crooked, gyrate, curvy, labyrinthine, and corkscrew. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): It’s no coincidence your libido and your mojo are booming at the same time. Your libido is in the midst of a deep, hearty awakening, generating a surplus of potent, super-fine mojo. And your surplus of potent, super-fine mojo is in turn inciting your libido’s even deeper, heartier awakening. There may be times next week when you feel like you’re living with a wild animal. As long as you keep the creature well-fed and wellstroked, it should provide lots of vigorous, boisterous fun. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early,” quipped 19th-century English author Charles Lamb. Adopt that breezy, lazy attitude in the weeks ahead. It’s high time to slip into a very comfortable, laidback mood … to give yourself a lot of slack, explore the mysteries of dreamy indolence, and quiet the chirpy voices in your head. Even if you can’t literally call in sick to your job and spend a few days wandering free, do everything you can to claim as much low-pressure, unhurried spaciousness as possible. Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

BACKPAGE EDITORIAL

POWERING THE FUTURE

Now is the time for JEA to commit to NATURAL GAS combined cycle

EA is actually ahead of the curve on carbon reduction, but there is more it can do. Let’s look at what JEA has done so far and then discuss what it needs to move off the back burner. Back in 2005, JEA added a natural gas combined cycle plant (NGCC). This takes waste heat from natural gas combustion turbines and turns water into steam, which then powers a steam turbine. According to the Energy Information Agency (EIA), these plants generate 46 percent of the power beyond that of the combustion turbines using the secondary steam turbine. The EIA considers an advanced NGCC plant’s availability (which is called capacity in the industry) at 85 percent. JEA considers the Brandy Branch plant to have a capacity of 70 percent, though with lower natural gas prices, it was operating at 80 percent in 2014. The second major commitment to carbon reduction involves a power purchase agreement to buy 206 megawatts (MW) of nuclear power from the Municipal Electric Authority of Georgia, starting in 2018, with 103 MW to be produced by Plant Vogtle Unit 3 and Unit 4 each. This will provide JEA with almost 1.7 million megawatt hours (MWh) of energy that’s carbon-free. The question is, “Is this enough?” The answer is, “No!” This brings us back to JEA’s use of NGCC to generate power. It has two other natural gas combustion turbine plants, with two turbines per plant, generating a total of 600 MW of energy in hot weather and more during the winter. The addition of advanced dual cycle steam turbines to these plants would add another 276 MW of capacity without spending one dime more on fuel or creating another ounce of carbon. Why aren’t we moving forward with these plants? JEA is moving slowly because when both the estimated cost of the NGCC and the needed improvements to the power grid along Talleyrand Avenue are included, the price approaches $1 billion. The question is: “Does adding this debt service make sense for the ratepayers?” We have to consider the savings of the fuel currently purchased to generate more than 2 million MWh from coal and petroleum coke versus paying off $1 billion over 30 years.

The first issue involves JEA’s bond rating; it’s a very good AA. On May 15, 2015, AA bonds issued in the state of Florida had an interest rate of 3.55 percent. The state of Florida is rated AAA and, as a state agency, JEA has access to issue these bonds at 2.95 percent. Going through the state will save JEA about $6 million per year in interest on these bonds, with a cost of $29.5 million. The principal, using a 30-year sinking fund at the treasury rate, would be about 2.34 percent, or $23.4 million. Let’s take a minute and look at the savings in fuel cost. JEA spent just under $103 million on fuel in the first quarter of 2015. This would play out to $412 million, if power usage remained flat from month to month. This is just a rough estimate. With two new NGCC units producing about 2 million MWh per year at no additional fuel cost, the savings would be $66.5 million in fuel costs. This is offset by $52.9 million in debt service, for a net savings of about $13.6 million. What about savings on carbon? JEA currently produces about 1,134 pounds of carbon per MWh of energy produced. Many worldwide environmental groups are clamoring for a carbon tax of $80 per ton. If JEA does not change its power production methods, the cost of such a tax would be $45.36 for each MWh sold. If JEA obtains 3.7 million in carbon-free power from the nuclear and the steam side of dual cycle plants, the savings — if such a tax was enacted — would be almost $168 million per year. Back in 1980, Southern Company wanted to sell JEA 600 MW of Plant Vogtle Units 1 and 2. If that portion of the nuclear plants had been purchased, JEA would not be producing 340 tons of carbon for every hour that one

of its two coal plants was operating. This is now 20-20 hindsight, even though more than two-thirds of the community requested JEA pursue nuclear in a non-binding referendum at the time. JEA is currently considering the purchase of 20 percent, or about 440 MW, of capacity from the Lee Nuclear Units 1 and 2 near Aiken, South Carolina. JEA’s portion of these units should provide 3.5 million MWh of carbon-free energy by 2025. The final solution would occur locally and would involve replacing the St. Johns River Power Park (SJRPP) and its 1,200 MW of coal power with module nuclear. Module nuclear power involves what are basically small reactors that can be shipped on railcars, with each creating about 60 MW. There is one control room monitoring about 10 reactors each. Unlike large reactors, there is far less thermal power in these smaller units, eliminating the possibility of a meltdown. Each unit will use much of the simplified technology found in the new AP1000, but on a much smaller scale. The bonds on SJRPP will be paid off around 2027 and the time may be right in the early to mid-2020s to make the $7.1 billion investment in this new technology. Before the price scares you away, consider that the fuel cost is about $72 million per year for all 20 modular reactors versus more than $250 million for the coal needed

JEA currently produces about 1,134 pounds of carbon per MWh of energy produced. Many worldwide environmental groups are clamoring for a carbon tax of $80 per ton. If JEA does not change its power production methods, the cost of such a tax would be $45.36 FOR EACH MWH SOLD. to produce the same 1,200 MW. The maintenance costs on nuclear plants are much less than on fossil fuel units and, even after including sinking funds to cover waste disposal and decommissioning costs, the price is still lower. In fact, the operating costs plus the debt service costs at the point of transmission in current dollars and at current interest would be about $55 per MWh. This is less than any type of energy JEA currently produces or purchases. These module units would produce about 9.6 million MWh of power per year. Based on 14.8 MWh from the three no-carbon nuclear sources and 6.9 million MWh from very low carbon advanced NGCC, JEA could be positioned to leave a very small carbon footprint in just 15 years. It should be noted that, with this capacity, there would be a lot of low carbon/no carbon energy for JEA to sell on the market. Bruce A. Fouraker mail@folioweekly.com

Folio Weekly welcomes Backpage Editorial submissions. Essays should be no more than 1,200 words and on a topic of local interest or concern. Email your Backpage to mail@folioweekly.com. Opinions expressed on the Backpage are those of the author and do not necessarily refl ect those of the editors or management of Folio Weekly.

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