Folio Weekly 06/03/15

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The un-Medicaid Medicaid Expansion program

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Tom Green has moved beyond the “Bum Bum Song�

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Bands, beers, bathing suits, and benefits at inaugural Backyard BBQ

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JUNE 3-9, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 3

FROM THE EDITOR

CURATE YR IDOLS MANY OF MY FRIENDS HAVE LEFT FACEBOOK. If they haven’t deleted their profiles, they’ve disengaged from their accounts in such a way as to render them inactive. This is not uncommon. Since early 2014, nationally the narrative has been that millennials are leaving Facebook in droves (11 million left from 2011-’14), opting instead for platforms that allow them to engage with their friends with a heightened immediacy and sense of authenticity — Instagram, Snapchat, Vine, actual books.

Last week, in this very space, I related a quotation from the new book by famed New York Times columnist David Brooks, in which he (a man with decades of op-ed writing under his belt) confessed less than 100 percent confidence in his opinions.

In The Road to Character, Brooks writes he is someone who gets “paid to be a narcissistic blowhard, to volley my opinions, to appear more confident about them than I really am, to appear smarter than I really am, to appear better and more authoritative than I really am.

I have to work harder than most people to avoid a life of smug superficiality.”

Recently, during an interview with Fresh Air’s Terry Gross, Brooks elaborated on this bit of candor, calling his role as columnist “weird” and said that being in front of a proverbial microphone “presents character challenges where we can think we’re right all the time or we get a lot of attention.”

Obviously, Brooks’ comments (which I’m visiting a second time) got me thinking.

Social media (along with message boards and self-publishing platforms like Medium) have made everyone a columnist. And to lend a voice to the op-ed section of the Interwebs (more specifically, Facebook) these days, all it takes is a shit-ton of digital friends and the right degree of algorithmic subversion. It also takes a decent amount of confidence (feigned or otherwise).

In many ways, this has been very good.

Social and political awareness has been enhanced for (and by) populations previously disconnected from the modern world or just flat-out ignored (the initial uprisings in Egypt, circa 2011, were among the first and most powerful examples; the Baltimore rioting is a more current, perhaps equally as powerful one).

But, while social media platforms, forums, and message boards certainly spark conversations, I often wonder whether anyone ever actually closes their browser (or tablet application), having just been convinced to change a previously held opinion. On the contrary, with endless resources from which to affirm every belief system imaginable, no matter how wacky, unscientific, sexist, racist, (or all of the above), it often seems as though the digital realm is just a place to dig our heels in deeper.

Columnists like Brooks (as well as Krugman and Kristof, his contemporaries at The Times), have a distinct ability to clarify the obscure, to frame complex topics in a way that’s new or different. Generally, columnists enhance our understanding. So, with so many people sharing their opinions, I wondered if traditional columnists, like Brooks, were in danger of being drowned out by the noise.

I reached out to a few established voices in local media, all of whom have been in a position to “volley” their opinions for much longer than I have. What I found was that 4 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 3-9, 2015

rather than feeling threatened, all felt social media enhances their roles as columnists.

And across the board, those I polled felt, at the very least, despite its tendency to stiffen unfounded resolve, social media augments the conversation.

Tireless Folio Weekly political columnist AG GANCARSKI — whose appetite for engaging readers through Twitter and Facebook often appears insatiable — pointed out users can “track how our stuff is being shared, who’s reading it, and what resonates with readers and what doesn’t, in a way that word-of-mouth didn’t totally facilitate.”

On what guarantees he’ll be heard above the intense volume of the crowd, Gancarski said his particular voice is “idiosyncratic” (I agree); furthermore, he noted, “There also is the question of institutional authority; that is huge, both in terms of shares and deference we get from people who don’t have that.”

“If I was getting drowned out,” he said, “it would mean I wasn’t a very effective communicator.”

(CLICK) “In my view, the more the merrier,” avuncular Times-Union columnist RON LITTLEPAGE wrote in an email. “There are different audiences, but more people being involved in public debate is a good thing.”

Littlepage has been at it a long time, and his institutional memory (see: authority) has earned him a voice.

“I’ve been writing a column for 26 years now. I have loyal readers, even among those who disagree with me but read me anyway,” he wrote. “I don’t worry about my voice being drowned out. I think more voices add to the richness of the debate.”

(CLICK!) ANNE SCHINDLER — whose voice occupied this space for many years, and whose reputation as a hard-hitting reporter proceeded her to her current role as executive producer of special investigations for First Coast News — called the new landscape “a crowded bathtub at times,” but said, ultimately “[social media] is better for community conversation.”

So I asked Schindler if she could think of a time when social media might be counterproductive to the conversation.

She responded that “trolls wreck lots of otherwise productive discussions,” adding, “and we don’t always do our best thinking in 140 characters.”

So everyone has a platform. David Brooks was self-reflective enough to second-guess his deservedness of such a platform. The immediacy of interactions on social media often doesn’t allow for such reflection.

Luckily, it’s also never been easier to choose which voices occupy your feed.

Disengaging — like engaging — is a tool in our digital box. Many of my generation have grown highly particular about their personal curating — how, when, and where they engage. As older generations (see: their parents) joined, and unwanted voices drowned out the ones that spoke to them, they left Facebook for greener pastures. It seems digital natives are more picky about which columnists are worth listening to than any algorithm could ever be.

Matthew B. Shaw mshaw@folioweekly.com twitter/matthew_b_shaw

THIS WEEK // 6.3-6.9.15 // VOL. 29 ISSUE 10 COVER STORY

THE FORCE OF PRETEND

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BY KARA POUND

For Master Will and his Northeast Florida academy, the path of the Jedi is very real.

FEATURED ARTICLES

HOODRATS VS. HOMEOWNERS

[9]

NOT A MIRAGE

BY AG GANCARSKI Same ZIP code, different world.

[10]

BY SUSAN COOPER EASTMAN Farm to Family offers OASIS from Northeast Florida’s food deserts.

COLUMNS + CALENDARS FROM THE EDITOR 4 THE SPRAWL 6 BRICKBATS & BOUQUETS 7 CITIZEN MAMA 8 FIGHTIN’ WORDS 9 NEWS 10

OUR PICKS FILM MAGIC LANTERNS ARTS MUSIC THE KNIFE

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WET, HOT SUMMER

BY NICK McGREGOR Inaugural BACKYARD BBQ brings bands, beers, bathing suits and benefits to St. Augustine Amphitheatre’s back lot.

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THE SPRAWL

News + Notes from across Northeast Florida

THE BURNING QUESTION FOR THE SHERIFF-ELECT

WHILE ON WJCT’S FIRST COAST CONNECT, then-candidate Mike Williams could have been mistaken for a young Sheriff John Rutherford: authority in his voice, confidence in his ability to lead the agency, exuding the ethos of a cop’s cop. He hit his pension reform talking points, spoke intelligently about the inner workings of the sheriff ’s office, and he dug his feet deep into a stoic “tough on crime” stance.

“We have a violence problem in Jacksonville, and I can tell you from my 23 years of experience that the violence in Jacksonville is driven by the drug trade.

We need a strong focus on the drug trade to get ahead of that violence, and it’s been a challenge for us for many years … the marijuana that people may be familiar with from the ’70s or ’80s is not the marijuana of today. And I think when you talk about violent crime and talk about the drug trade, what drives violence in the drug trade is the money. A pound of marijuana in 1970 that cost you $300, if you’re doing a drug deal with that marijuana back then, you don’t take a gun to that drug deal for $300. That pound of marijuana today could cost you $10,000, $15,000. You are taking a gun to that drug deal.

And, unfortunately, a lot of those drug deals do go bad and result in violence spilling out into the street. So, I’m not for legalization of marijuana at all.”

(10 grand A POUND!? Mike, your dealer is taking the piss; you’re paying too much.)

State legislature by state legislature, the nation at large marches its way out of generational fear imbued by church-funded propaganda films like Reefer Madness. The children of the ’60s are passing laws to reflect a more level-headed approach toward marijuana, for medical and recreational purposes. The Institute of Medicine, American Nurses Association, American Public Health Association, American Academy of HIV Medicine, Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, Lymphoma Foundation of America, and numerous other research organizations advocate marijuana as an economical, effective treatment for several medical-related issues.

Where marijuana has been legalized for recreational use — to the shock and horror of right-wing interest groups — there have been no quarantined areas of mass congregations of orgies, homicides, and rape; people are still waking up every day to go to work, putting food on the table and functioning in much the same manner as before. There’s more money in taxes for education. A new sector of American business has been born (even those Wall Street guys are paying attention).

And there is already evidence to suggest that violent crime is dropping.

As the move for legalized medical and recreational marijuana picks up speed nationally, Florida is in the political fray.

Flashback to November 2014, 58 percent of voters in Florida turned out to create a constitutional amendment allowing for medical marijuana, more than half a million more votes than any elected official in the state received. Unfortunately, the vote needed 60 percent in order to be adopted. The ballot is on its way to be packed again.

“We raised about $7 million in 2014. We spent $4.5 million to get onto the ballot, and the other $1.5 million on voter communication,” says Ben Pollara, campaign manager for the United for Care campaign run by People United for Medical Marijuana. “We were outspent by the anti-marijuana lobby. They also raised about $7 million, but they used their entire $7 million 6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 3-9, 2015

on voter communication. They swamped us on television and ran thousands of ads throughout the state. Barring some major disaster, we will be back on the ballot in 2016, and we’re pretty confident we’ll win based on the lessons we learned from the last campaign. Plus, there will be more people voting this year. This issue is rapidly picking up speed and getting more and more popular.”

Even in the face of letting proposed legislation die on the floor of the state Senate

and the session ending three days early in the state House, medical marijuana still advanced this past week when Administrative Law Judge W. David Watkins rejected a challenge to a proposed rule setting up the medical marijuana industry in Florida.

Parents of children with a severe form of epilepsy pushed the legislature to approve lowgrade THC cannabis (even Gov. Rick Scott was in favor of the bill!), believing its use can end or dramatically reduce life-threatening seizures.

Patients could have access to long-awaited, noneuphoric pot products by the end of the year.

“This is an issue that touches everyone,” says Pollara. “Marijuana is a plant with extraordinary medical properties with the ability to impact a variety of different desires and medical conditions. There is a 99.9 percent chance that at some point in your life, you or a loved one might benefit from medical marijuana.”

Pollara sees a double-standard in state and federal drug policy.

“For most people, it’s outrageous; you can get a Xanax or Percocet, an addictive narcotic.

The position that the state and medical board trusts are approving potentially lethal and addictive drugs, but can’t recommend marijuana’s use. Never in the history of human civilization has marijuana killed a human being. You can’t even say that about Advil.”

When asked if he thought marijuana should be classified with harder drugs, the Sheriffelects’ response was a robotic, “Drug dealing is a criminal offense and fuels violent crime in our community,” Williams said via email. “It’s our sworn duty to enforce the laws.”

Keith Marks kmarks@folioweekly.com

TAKE ME TO THE RIVER

PAUL HARDEN UNDERSTANDS THE VALUE the St. Johns River brings to Jacksonville. When City Councilmember Jim Love asked Harden if he thought river access was important, the land-use lawyer and City Council lobbyist replied that he did.

“I like the access I have to the river,” Harden told Love.

On a night when the City Council considered shutting a public access point to the St. Johns River at Little Van Wert and Richmond streets in Riverside/Avondale, that response seemed self-centered and myopic.

But it’s true that, unlike many of us, Harden can afford the most expansive views and bracing breezes of the St. Johns River that money can buy in Jacksonville. He lives in a million-dollar home on the river in the San Jose neighborhood near Mandarin. When Jacksonville was developed, there weren’t

public vistas set aside. Views of the river were reserved for private use only.

Harden appeared before the City Council on May 26 to represent two other riverfront property owners whose $3 million homes border a 60-foot-wide stormwater drainage outfall in Riverside/Avondale. East Arlington City Councilmember Richard Clark filed a bill on behalf of Avondale residents John Surface and Charles Cousar, asking the city to vacate the easement because it attracts problems.

Harden said the neighbors have complained for 20 years about beer cans and used condoms strewn around the little lot, as well as drug use, vandalism, drunks and a break-in staged from the property. “It’s just a location for criminal activity,” Harden told the Council.

The public reaction against closing the narrow strip of waterfront land is telling.

Carmen Godwin, executive director of Riverside Avondale Preservation, spoke against the closure, as did others. But the best case was made by 17-year-old Woody Moore. She grew up across the street from the park. That’s where she learned to throw a cast net, she told the City Council. It’s where she played Narnia with sticks picked up off the ground. She launched kayaks and canoes from the shore there. She fished from the seawall. She walks her dog there. It might not seem like much to some, but it played a central role in her childhood.

In Riverside/Avondale, the only waterfront vistas that remain in public

hands are several riverfront parks and about a dozen street ends that were set aside as utility easements and now are maintained as pocket parks. The city bought the Little Van Wert plot in 1921, but it never outfitted the lot at Little Van Wert and Richmond streets as a park. Harden said that his clients might be open to compromise if the city addresses the nuisances there. But other neighbors of the other parks do complain, too. The parks attract people who fish from the seawall.

On some streets, the city has installed No Parking signs, which effectively close the pocket park to outsiders.

“How can the city foster love and enthusiasm for protecting the river if the residents don’t have access to it?” Moore asked.

Then she questioned whether the problem Riverside/Avondale residents had with the pocket parks was really a problem with the working-class African-Americans and whites who use the pocket parks to fish.

“Some of the underlying motives [may be] that us privileged white folks are kind of uncomfortable with the general public,” Moore said. “Instead of taking away access to our resources, maybe we should change our views.”

Vacating the easement will be discussed in committee this week and the City Council will vote on the proposal on June 9.

Susan Cooper Eastman sceastman@folioweekly.com

BRICKBATS & BOUQUETS BRICKBATS TO DENNIS MOPE The founder of two military-themed charter schools, one of which is in Duval County, refused to answer questions in the wake of the abrupt shuttering of his Jacksonville and Orlando-based Acclaim Academies. Though Mope’s personal financial history was sketchy at best, revelations that Acclaim had run out of money – displacing 229 students with just weeks left in the school year – came as a surprise to Duval school district officials, who said the district didn’t know about a prior bankruptcy when they granted the school’s local charter in 2013.

BOUQUETS TO STANTON DEVIL’S ADVOCATE Stanton College Preparatory School’s newspaper won a first place award in its division in The Florida Times Union’s Excellence in High School Journalism competition. The Devil’s Advocate – which has a long history of journalistic excellence that predates even that of Folio Weekly’s – is funded entirely through advertisements and is student-run and student-edited. This is the Advocate’s second top honor in as many years.

BOUQUETS TO WJCT for focusing a much-needed spotlight on mental health in Northeast Florida. First Coast Forum’s topic this quarter was “Breaking Through Stigma: A Conversation about Mental Health.” In addition, Northeast Florida’s NPR station supported Mental Health Awareness Month by hosting several events, like Chad Dennis’ photo exhibition – which puts faces and names to mental illness – and scheduling articles and show topics that brought mental health issues into public dialogue.

BOUQUETS TO HEMMING PARK Downtown’s Hemming Park recently added some engaging art to the urban core that’s vibrant, tactile, and poignant. Painter and muralist extraordinaire Shaun Thurston has installed a 150-foot-plus, floral-themed mural, Hemming Park Terrarium, that spans the entire length of park’s onsite storage area. RouxArts’ ongoing Let’s Tile Hemming Park project uses colorful tiles and mirrors to create shimmering mosaics near the wall in front of City Hall. Finally, blacksmith Robert Noelke’s large-scale piece, For Brian, is a chime-like structure of repurposed CO2 canisters painted bright green and yellow. The piece is dedicated to Brian Hicks (June 4, 1970-July 4, 2010), a much-loved (and missed) musician who was a longtime presence and figurehead in the creative community.

KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A PROVERBIAL BRICKBAT? Send your submissions to mail@folioweekly.com. Submissions should be a maxium of 50 words and directed toward a person, place, or topic of local interest.

CORRECTIONS IN HIS FIGHTIN’ WORDS COLUMN (“What I Got Wrong,” May 27), AG Gancarski inaccurately stated that Sam Newby is the fi rst black Republican to win a citywide election. That was incorrect.

Gwen Chandler Thompson was twice elected to the Jacksonville City Council in the 1990s and

Glorious Johnson served as City Councilwoman, Group 5, At-Large, 2003-’11.

IN LAST WEEK’S BRICKBATS AND BOUQUETS, we mistakenly wrote that former Baptist neurologist Sean Christopher Orr falsely diagnosed patients with “serious mental illnesses like multiple sclerosis.” MS is a neurological disorder, not a mental illness. We regret the error.

JUNE 3-9, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7

CITIZEN MAMA

FLORIDA’S HEALTHCARE FHIX Budging on the budget THE UN-MEDICAID MEDICAID EXPANSION PROGRAM Don’t call it Medicaid Expansion — much less Obamacare. Florida Senate President Andy Gardiner (R, District 13) has hit Florida’s op-ed circuit to argue for the Florida Health Insurance Affordability Exchange Program (FHIX), a “Florida solution” for 800,000 of the state’s low-income, uninsured people.

The impasse over healthcare expansion — which the senate wants but the house does not — is the reason Florida lawmakers returned to Tallahassee for a special session on June 1. Northeast Florida’s Sen. Aaron Bean (R, District 4) has joined the FHIX chorus, amending the plan to bypass a temporary one-year Medicaid enrollment in favor of setting up enrollees with private care immediately. Bean’s amendment also ramps up work, school or volunteer requirements (with some exceptions) for participants.

Both Bean and Gardiner refer to “guard rails” that would leave Florida the option of backing out if the federal government doesn’t meet its obligations to the program. Notably, both Bean and Gardiner work in Florida’s hospital industry.

While the amended FHIX plan addresses all of the concerns enunciated by Florida house members, House Budget Chief Richard Corcoran (R, District 37) and House Speaker Steve Crisafulli (R, District 51) remain its loudest critics. On May 27, Corcoran retweeted this tweet and graphic from Crisafulli: “We can’t afford to expand #Medicaid under #Obamacare. RT if you support fiscally responsible healthcare solutions.”

[Graphic] “Every new dollar spent on Medicaid Expansion means LESS MONEY for our children’s education and public safety or HIGHER TAXES to foot the bill.”

A FLORIDA FHIX, TO OFFSET A SUPREME COURT NIX? Though the FHIX program would finally create an online health-insurance exchange for Florida, proponents insist it’s not to be confused with the Affordable Care Act. A Healthy Florida Works, which identifies itself as a coalition of business and community leaders, is running a TV ad in Florida markets that says FHIX is “not Obamacare” and “not a Washington solution,” but a “Florida solution.”

The PR team tweeting for @AHealthyFlWorks emphasizes that the people who would be eligible for FHIX are workers who bake your pizzas, sell shoes at the mall, and clean your hotel rooms — they just can’t afford health insurance without the senate-endorsed plan.

But they’re not the only ones who can’t afford insurance without federal subsidies.

In March, the U.S. Supreme Court heard arguments on whether or not federal insurance subsidies could go to individuals outside of state exchanges. Floridians who have bought health insurance on the exchange so far have done so on the federal system.

If the Court rules against the Obama Administration in King v. Burwell, Republicans here will be in a pickle as they figure out how to answer to the 900,000 Floridians who’ll get kicked off their health insurance policies. That’s one reason state senators are struggling to pass a plan — so we’ll have our state exchange up and running to keep federally subsidized insurance going.

8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 3-9, 2015

WILL THE FEDS GIVE FLORIDA ANY LIP? The other reason for rushing to pass FHIX is to keep the doors open at hospitals that serve indigent patients, like UF Health.

The logic is that once FHIX insures an additional 800,000 Floridians, there will be a decreased need for federal, low-income-pool payments (LIP) to keep hospitals that currently serve uninsured people in business. The feds set June 30 as an expiration date for LIP funds, and won’t commit to weaning us off those funds gently — by sending another $1.3 billion — until we do what they’ve asked: Expand Medicaid, um, that is, Florida’s privatized unMedicaid version of Medicaid.

If FHIX is passed, new participants will be able to get their coverage from private providers, just as AHCA participants do.

FHIX also requires enrollees to pay nominal premiums, about $25 a month at most, which will help Florida offset the subsidy it will need to fund in order to trigger $50 billion in federal dollars for this healthcare expansion.

Gardiner and Bean say that FHIX, which is being marketed as the next step in Medicaid reform, would not resemble traditional Medicaid, and would aim to serve those whose incomes reach up to 138 percent of the poverty level. A family of four making $33,465 or less would be eligible for FHIX, as would an individual making $16,242 or less.

THE “CHARGE MASTER” Gov. Rick Scott and Republican members of the Florida House have made much ado about the words “Medicaid expansion,” and “Obamacare.” Scott even flew to Washington to beg for $1.3 billion dollars in LIP funds while firmly rejecting $50 billion for healthcare expansion.

Then, Scott went as far as to suggest that hospitals across the state share profits to subsidize hospitals that would otherwise end up operating in the red. To that end, he convened a healthcare commission and ordered the state’s hospitals to disclose their financial data to the body. Scott wants the details on the specific costs of health services, i.e., the “charge master.”

Many hospitals thumbed their noses at his decree, citing confidential price agreements with insurers.

Interestingly, officials at HCA — formerly headed

by Scott — wrote a letter to the governor suggesting that higher Medicaid reimbursement rates and a tweaked hospital tax structure would offset potential federal LIP losses. There’s no reason, however, that these changes must be mutually exclusive from implementing

FHIX, i.e., there’s no reason lawmakers couldn’t do both.

THE “ABLE-BODIED ADULTS” ARGUMENT So far, proponents of the amended FHIX proposal, which was originally developed in partnership with chambers of commerce and hospitals across Florida, are still trying to outshout the anti-Obamacare mantra emanating from the house. (See http:// ahealthyfloridaworks.com/our-plan/) Meanwhile, as FloridaPolitics.com reporter Christine Jordan Sexton writes, House Speaker Crisafulli says the feds will never go for FHIX’s “conservative guardrails,” leaving Florida with a “costly and inefficient entitlement program to serve able-bodied, working-age adults with no children.”

Never mind that many of those “ablebodied working-age adults with no children” are working every day in the state’s construction, hospitality and other industries and can’t afford health insurance premiums without expanded subsidies.

Make no mistake: Americans have already decided to not turn away people in medical crisis. It’s illegal. Embedded deep in our national psyche is the notion that medical care is essential to our most heralded value, equal opportunity. We’ve agreed that it’s hard for a person to pursue happiness when she’s broken, bleeding, or walking around with untreated diabetes.

But when it comes to making healthcare for low-income workers more efficient by expanding that national value to include preventive care, über-conservatives like Crisafulli and Corcoran balk. Ensuring that poor workers have the same access to healthcare that lawmakers do, after all, would make it harder for politicians to distinguish poor people as somehow less worthy of the American Dream.

The politics of personal resentment is alive and well in Tallahassee. The shortsighted idea, as Morris Dees of the Southern Poverty Law Center describes, is this: No one should get anything that only I should be entitled to.

Why else would Crisafulli bring up words like “able-bodied working-age adults”?

Julie Delegal mail@folioweekly.com

FIGHTIN’ WORDS

HOODRATS VS. HOMEOWNERS Same ZIP code, different world

L

ast Tuesday, I went to the Jacksonville City Council meeting. As is the case every time I go, I learned a lot.

My principal reason for going: a resolution that was under discussion, from Councilman Warren Jones, to ask HUD to defund the Section 8 apartment complex and crime emporium Eureka Gardens, located off the scenic wonderland that is Cassat Avenue.

monitored, what exactly did our freedom fighters battle for? It’s enough to make you want to turn your flag pin upside down.

The people who want to keep the access point open, meanwhile, argued that the spot is magical. Fathers teach their kids to fish there; children play pirates; meditative types meditate. In a city where you can’t go three feet without someone cutting you off in traffic, it is

The reasoning was sound. There are more murders in Eureka Gardens, a 400-unit complex built in 1968 (and unimproved since), than there are in many Florida counties. The security is, well, nonexistent from what I could see. I was up there a few weeks back, covering a Ken Jefferson sleepover event, and the only cops I saw were part of the Jefferson entourage.

There was no secure perimeter fencing. There was no attempt to ensure that malingerers who lived outside the complex weren’t coming in and causing trouble. It seemed that despite all of the ink that’s been spilled about the blood that’s been spilled, recurrent body counts are just the cost of doing business.

There was a total of one (1) public commenter from the Eureka Gardens complex.

A woman who has been there since 2006 has turned herself into the go-to source for media comments on the reliable sequence of misery and tragedy at this Westside tenement. Now, why she was there for close to a decade with all hell breaking loose is beyond me. But she told Council about feeling like she deserved a purple heart for being there, like she felt as if she had PTSD, and that she got no recourse when she sent Alvin Brown a letter in 2013.

So the Eureka Gardens proposal gets one speaker.

Meanwhile, the proposed closing of a 450-foot-by-60-foot river access point in Avondale — which entailed the ceding of large swaths of riverfront land to two adjacent landowners — got dozens of speakers over a period of a couple of hours.

Some were pro; some were con. The people who wanted the river access closed down, including local fixer lawyer Paul Harden, made emphatic cases predicated on public safety.

People smoke weed up in there, they said.

Fishermen drink, they said, and even use salty language as they drop lines into the brackish water below. People poop in there, and leave their beer cans, and their hypodermic needles, and build encampments. And the worst part?

When people park in front of it, no one can see what’s going on down there.

This is a big deal. What good is a surveillance state if every square inch isn’t covered? If every rogue movement can’t be

that rare gift: a bucolic retreat.

In a different city, a different time, spots like this would be treasured. Now? They are feared. It was left to Councilman Jim Love, who represents the area, to try to be the honest broker between the two sides. Without, you know, offending anyone.

Of course, Love didn’t introduce this measure; it was Tricky Dick Clark who brought it forth, despite the fact that it has nothing to do with his district (During the meeting Clark sat silent and allegedly wanted to cut out early, but Council President Clay Yarborough nixed his request).

The people of Avondale will be fine. They are upper-middle-class and practically everyone in that area is a property owner. Odds are, a mutually agreeable solution will be found. They always are when you pay that much in property taxes and political contributions. Getting to yes requires a capital outlay.

The people of Eureka Gardens? They have no such outlay and everyone knows it. When the lone speaker from Eureka Gardens was up front, Councilman Bill Gulliford sardonically read the apartmentfinders.com review talking about “hoodrats” living there and police sirens that are so soothing, they help residents sleep at night, and “weed and alcohol on every corner and in every doorway.”

No such disrespect was demonstrated to my neighbors in Avondale.

You can call Gulliford’s jokes a manifestation of “white skin privilege” if you want. You can also call it being tone deaf to a reality, which is that apartment complexes that concentrate hundreds and hundreds of people without real recourse — who cannot figure out a way out — are breeding grounds for despair and self-destruction that no perimeter fence or perfunctory checkpoint will remedy.

The people there are without hope. And Jacksonville has no answers for them. Perhaps if Eureka Gardens shuts down, they can all move to water taxis. The city of Jacksonville has no issue paying for those no matter how much money they lose.

AG Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com twitter/AGGancarski

JUNE 3-9, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9

NEWS St. Johns County do-gooder Malea Moore Guiriba inspects her produce delivery in front of St. Augustine Health and Human Services.

NOT A MIRAGE

FARM TO FAMILY offers oasis from Northeast Florida’s food deserts

B

efore the Farm to Family mobile farmers market began making weekly stops at the Southern Villas senior apartment complex in southwest St. Augustine, Robbie Reynolds often went to bed hungry.

Reynolds lives in a food desert, one of seven census tracts in St. Johns County where an estimated 10,000 poor and elderly people lack access to healthful foods. Since Reynolds doesn’t drive and has no dependable transportation, she ate what food people brought to her. Disabled and homebound, the 58-year-old had no choice.

“I ate a lot of junk!” she says.

That’s all changed since Farm to Family began visiting Southern Villas.

Leaning on a walker for support, Reynolds asks Farm to Family market ambassador George Hall to pick two zucchinis, a cantaloupe, a spaghetti squash and a Vidalia onion for her from the bins of fresh produce stacked in rows along the open bay of the Farm to Family truck. She says she will sauté the zucchini in olive oil and onion and then finish it with a light splash of wine vinegar.

She’s wearing bright-orange Crocs that make her feet look like giant mushrooms, and holding the leash on her Chihuahua mix Rubi, who’s sporting a service dog vest and tag. For Reynolds, the arrival of Farm to Family means she has access to fresh fruits and vegetables as well as a weekly occasion to leave her apartment. She buys $10.75 worth of produce. Hall takes the bag to her back porch so that she doesn’t have to lug it home.

The stop at Southern Villas is one of five locations in St. Johns County that the mobile farmers market visits on Thursdays. All stops

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are places where access to fresh fruits and vegetables is limited or nonexistent.

Farm to Family is an offshoot of the nonprofit Pie in the Sky that St. Johns County’s No. 1 do-gooder Malea Moore Guiriba, 57, founded in Hastings in 2009.

Farm to Family draws on the values of the farm-to-table movement. They gather produce from area farms like the delivery services Palmetto Organics, Front Porch Pickings and Black Hog Farm. Instead of serving the sophisticated palates of Northeast Florida foodies, Farm to Family brings locally grown produce and homemade foodstuffs to the poor and working poor in St. Johns County’s food deserts. Farm to Family accepts food stamps. They double the dollar amount of a food stamp purchase if it’s spent on Florida produce. The medical group Island Doctors first helped pay for the double-dollar program; now, the USDA Food Insecurity Nutrition Incentive (FINE) grant program supports it through a $25,000 grant.

The response has been overwhelming, says Guiriba.

“For someone who is trying to scrimp and spend as little as possible to make food stamp dollars last until end of month, it’s a big deal,” she says. ”The reaction we’ve gotten is everything that we hoped for and more. People just cry.”

Guiriba doesn’t take a salary from Farm to Family or Pie in the Sky. She lives frugally in Switzerland, mostly on money she inherited from her parents. She grew up on the Trout River in Jacksonville and earned a degree in journalism from the University of North Florida. She worked as a reporter for Clay

Today when she swerved into social service.

While researching a book she hoped to write about domestic violence, Guiriba began

FARM TO FAMILY SCHEDULE

Wednesdays

Nemours Foundation Business Office 10140 Centurion Parkway, Jacksonville 32256 10 a.m.-noon Acosta 6600 Corporate Center Parkway, Jacksonville 32216 1-2 p.m.

Thursdays

St. Johns County Council on Aging 180 Marine St., St. Augustine 32084 9-10 a.m.

Southern Villas Apartments (retirement home) 52 Sunrise Blvd., St. Augustine 32084 10:30-11:30 a.m.

Main Library 1960 Ponce de Leon Blvd., St. Augustine 32084 Noon-1 p.m.

Florida Department of Health 200 San Sebastian View, St. Augustine 32084 2-3 p.m.

Wildflower Clinic 268 Herbert St., St. Augustine 32084 3:30-5 p.m.

volunteering at the Betty Griffin House domestic violence shelter in Fruit Cove. She was soon named shelter director and worked for four years in Hastings as a domestic violence prevention advocate. When the grant ran out in 2009, Guiriba wanted to continue to help the people of Hastings, a small potato and cabbage farming community in southwest St. Johns County.

She says she’d gotten to know the farmworkers and other people in Hastings and didn’t want to abandon them. That led her to the nonprofit Pie in the Sky. She opened a storefront in downtown Hastings, where she offered pies, conversation and guerilla social services. Without the bureaucracy that a government grant imposes, she helped people freestyle. She might raise the money to buy a person a pair of dentures, a wheelchair ramp or a wheelchair, or buy a bus ticket so a farm laborer could visit his sick parents.

When the Second Harvest North Florida Food Bank notified Guiriba it had a surplus of food, she and St. Johns County Health Department social services manager Ellen Walden — who retired from the county last week after 39 years — loaded up a pickup truck and took food to Hastings. That led to a weekly food pantry run by Pie in the Sky. But after baking 1,000 pies and giving away more than a million pounds of food at the Pie

Farm to Family market manager Phyllis Wood teaches more than she preaches. She breaks out the sauté pan at Farm to Family stops to cook some of the produce and give out samples. Wood spent many years working for Jacksonville’s Catering by Liz. After she retired and decided the leisure life wasn’t for her, Guiriba hired her. “Just give me a minute,” Wood says she tells customers who don’t like spinach. Then she heats up a pan with a little olive oil and garlic, wilts some fresh spinach leaves in the heat and squeezes lemon juice over top to give it sparkle. From spinach-hater to convert, such cooking demonstrations not only open someone’s mind to new food, but demonstrate how simple fixing a fresh vegetable can be, Wood says.

“I don’t want people to think they have to spend a lot of time in the kitchen to make something good,” she says.

Since February, Guiriba says Farm to Family has operated in the black. Next, she hopes to add stops on Fridays and is beginning to think about adding a second truck. These days, Guiriba works out of her home in Switzerland on grants and fundraising. She’s hired two others to operate the food truck: driver Nicholas Zimmer has a degree in horticulture from the University of Wisconsin and ran education programs at Trad’s Nursery and the Jacksonville Zoo & Gardens before launching his own organic horticulture business, Bluebird Growers, and market ambassador

Farm to Family mobile markets operate on grants and donations from fundraisers. Guiriba hopes to add another truck and stops on Fridays in the near future.

in the Sky food pantry, Guiriba wanted to do something that would make more of a longterm difference in people’s quality of life.

She and Walden, who is the executive director of the board of Farm to Family, say the farmers market can change lives. If young families include more fresh fruits and vegetables less processed food in their diets, it can mean their children will be healthier for the rest of their lives. To help people change their eating habits, it’s necessary to educate them on how to prepare fresh food, says Guiriba. She notes that elderly customers redeem more than 80 percent of the double food stamp dollars available for fresh produce, while younger people redeem only 40 percent. She thinks that’s because many young people grew up on fast food and processed food and don’t know how to cook the fresh items.

George Hall, who for many years was a migrant laborer working potato and cabbage crops.

Wood hopes that Farm to Family teaches people the difference that a healthy diet can make in their lives and lures them away from empty calories and junk food. Eating healthy can combat obesity, diabetes, hypertension, high cholesterol, high blood pressure and several more illnesses, she says.

She describes the layout of a typical Dollar Store, where the customers must pass aisles of potato chips, snacks and candy before arriving at canned vegetables and maybe a cooler of processed food. If that’s all that a person has nearby, they’ll feed their families from those limited offerings.

“That’s an American tragedy,” says Wood.

Susan Cooper Eastman sceastman@folioweekly.com JUNE 3-9, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11

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here’s a scene in The Empire Strikes Back when Luke arrives at Yoda’s hut and asks him to begin Jedi training. Yoda, unimpressed, delivers the following monologue:

t

“Ready are you? What know you of ready? For eight

hundred years have I trained Jedi. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be trained. A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away … to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things. You are reckless.”

For nearly four decades, Star Wars has remained one of the largest, most profitable and most influential franchises to date (as of April 2015, the Star Wars franchise grossed more than $4 billion in box office sales, nearly the same in DVD sales, $3 billion or so in video game sales, and $12 billion in toy sales).

It’s a big deal.

For some, it’s an escape from reality. For others, it’s a passion. And for a few, it’s a way of life.

Meet Master Will: founder and leader of Jedi Academy of North Florida — a group of Star Wars devotees fighting for peace and justice in the Galactic Republic, or at least within this earthly region.

Born in the Caribbean and raised in Seattle, Master Will and his wife came to Jacksonville about 16 years ago to raise their three children. He’s been leading the Jedi Academy for a little over two years. Currently in the middle of a lawsuit as the result of a work-related injury, Master Will doesn’t want us to use his real name. Or his age. Or a photo of him.

Adding this confluence of circumstances to an already insular and mysterious follower of the Jedi made Master Will a tough egg to crack. So like that famous scene in A New Hope, where Han Solo, Princess Leia, Luke Skywalker, and Chewbacca have to find their way out of a trash compactor, Folio Weekly

got creative. In the end, it was the people around him — his disciples, if you will — who provided the most insight into the mind of the Northeast Florida Jedi Master.

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IT’S MID-AFTERNOON ON A SATURDAY in late May at 9A/Baymeadows Regional Park. And it’s hot. The sun’s beating down on a set of bleachers where Vicki Sincoff has gathered with her husband, Ethan, son, Tobin, and her mother who’s visiting from Pennsylvania.

Young Tobin, a Jedi in training, is playing a videogame on his mom’s phone — awaiting training to begin — and sipping from a blue Powerade.

It’s only his fourth month as a member of the Jedi Academy of North Florida, but the family is already delighted with the results.

“He has my nerdy tendencies,” says Vicki, mother of six-and-a-half-year-old Tobin. “So finding an extracurricular activity that he enjoys has been difficult. He’s not really into organized sports, despite being very physically active. We tried Tae Kwon Do, but he wasn’t into it. When I took him to Jedi training the first time, he took to it like a duck to water.”

She continues, “All credit to the Masters.

He’s not the most attentive kid, but they are

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the Force of pretend

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so loving and patient with him, and that makes him want to do well and make them proud.”

Another dozen or so Jedi Masters, trainees and family members make their way to the bleachers. Practice is about to begin. Master Will introduces himself and gives a quick background on the Academy and what it takes to ascend the ranks.

“He’s not really into organized sports, despite being very physically active. We tried Tae Kwon Do, but he wasn’t into it. When we took him to Jedi training the first time, he took to it like a duck to water.”

--- Vicki Sincoff, mother of a young Padawan “A lot of things have contributed to me doing it. Within the last three years, I’ve had a lot more time on my hands,” he says, alluding to the injury that left him unable to work.

“It’s given me the opportunity to focus like I’ve been wanting to focus on it. It’s also been almost physical therapy for me.”

A few years ago, Master Will, a longtime Star Wars enthusiast, attended MegaCon in Orlando with a friend. He went dressed as Mace Windu (portrayed by Samuel L. Jackson in the prequel films), and felt an instant connection back into the world that he’d loved growing up.

He came home pumped about reigniting his passion for all things Force-related.

In 2013, Master Will established the Jedi Academy of North Florida, which currently boasts 20 active members.

“Shortly after my dad returned from his first convention as Mace Windu, it wasn’t long before a fire started to burn within me,” explains Master Will’s youngest son, Dakota. “I immediately began looking for a Jedi who not only fit my build and physical appearance but also my personality,” explains Dakota.

Dakota, age 23, is second in leadership at JANF and goes by Master Kota. He’s been

training for nearly three years and is also an instructor, helping to shape Padawans and Initiates — terms used to describe those in the beginning stages of instruction — like Tobin.

“The reason I continue to train is because I love pushing my physical, mental, and spiritual self to its breaking point,” says Dakota. “Whether it be in the way I perform, my affect on the crowd or even the way I carry myself as a Master is only as limited as I believe it to be and I don’t believe in limitations.”

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SO WHAT EXACTLY IS A JEDI MASTER, and how do you become one?

According to Star Wars: The Jedi Path: A Manual for Students of the Force, a 2011 book that the Jedi Academy of North Florida uses as a text: “Like armies and governments, the Jedi Order follows a hierarchy to aid in the flow of command. Though we are all equals in the Force, the more senior members offer an

LEFT: Padawans in training William and Antwan, two of JANF’s youngest members, must climb the ranks to become Jedi Masters. BELOW: Master Will’s children, Nia (left) and Dakota (right) are also pursuing the path of the Jedi. “I love pushing my physical. spiritual and mental self to the breaking point,” Dakota says.

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“Training has become essential to achieve excellence.” Padawans Nae and Kaleb practice moves they’ve seen in the movies.

expertise that deserves respect by those who have not yet achieved such a station.”

The book goes on to explain the ranks thusly: Jedi Initiate, Jedi Padawan, Jedi Knight and Jedi Master.

“Initiates and Padawans have to study the book and are given an exam covering those chapters. Once they pass, they go on to Knights and then Masters,” Master Will explains. “So they have literature, they have to study. They have to know history and they have to know lightsaber techniques.”

Daniel Wallace is the author of “The Jedi Path” and several other Star Wars-themed books.

“The book contains a lot of lore and history that has been revealed about the Jedi in the movies and in spin-off sources like video games,” the Minneapolis-based Wallace wrote in an email. “But I also tried to create an overarching philosophy that felt authentic for an order of warrior-monks like the Jedi.”

Wallace says his work was originally requested by Lucasfilm and the book’s developer, Becker & Mayer. “Because I had written a number of Star Wars books previously, I collaborated with them in the early stages on what it might look like. We ended up with what is essentially a Jedi textbook, complete with handwritten notes in the margins from the book’s previous owners like Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker.”

He continues, “I’m glad and a bit relieved that the Jedi Academy of North Florida, who would probably be the toughest critics of a book like this, like and appreciate it.”

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BY NOW, MORE THAN A DOZEN MEMBERS of JANF have gathered at the park located in southeast Jacksonville. It’s a diverse group with age, ethnicity and physical ability running the gamut.

Emily and Brian Parker (aka Master Em and Master Par-Bri Wiinn) have arrived with their three young children: William aka Padawan Dozer, 12, Antwan aka Padawan SpeedTwister, 8, and Lizzie aka Padawan Lizzie, 6.

“We met Master Will at a pop culture event at my husband’s work and he invited William and Antwan to come train with him and soon all became involved,” explains mother Emily, who has been training since December 2014.

“We’re just a group who loves Star Wars and wanted to connect to it more.”

Emily understands that there may be individuals who find what her family does to be a bit odd.

“Although I haven’t encountered a lot of people suggesting that it’s silly, there are certainly

those that don’t get it,” she says. “I just basically tell them how much fun the kids are having and how great it is for their self-confidence. And then go back to doing our thing.”

The Parker family has proved an integral part of the Jedi Academy of North Florida.

Aside from weekly training, which is held every Saturday and Sunday from 2 to 4 p.m. at the park, they’ve also participated in recent events like Mandarin MiniCon and MegaCon. At these gatherings, the family of five dresses in Star Wars garb of loose-fitting pants (sometimes skirts for the girls), cloaks, boots and a utility belt in hues of brown and off-white. In pairs, the trainees face off, demonstrating the lightsaber techniques that have taken months or years to learn.

“Watching grown men run around a field for three hours while they fight over a ball can seem ridiculous if looked at from that perspective,” says father Bill, referencing football. “We know that Star Wars is fiction.

But, lessons about respect, harmony, and discipline have a practical use in life. And, no matter what anybody could ever say, lightsabers are cool.”

Monthly dues to become an active member of the Academy are only $10; the money is allocated toward refreshments at training sessions and to cover convention fees. For Master Will, seeing the enthusiasm, cohesion and camaraderie within a family unit like the Parkers is payment enough.

“After my accident, I thought, ‘What can I do to bring enjoyment back to my life? Let me hand this down to the next generation. Let me find something that will bring people together and have fun doing what we do,’” he says.

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AFTER A FIVE-MINUTE BOW-IN, the dozen Jedis are paired based on size and skill. Master Will instructs each duo to repeat certain lightsaber techniques in unison. The Masters execute them effortlessly. The Padawans struggle a bit.

“Training has become essential to achieve different levels of excellence, and what keeps me coming back is the workout routine and the shape it keeps me in,” says Sania, aka Master Gallia, Master Will’s 16-year-old daughter. “It also increases my endurance, stamina and mental discipline.”

Sania, who has been training for more than two years, says that there’s a lot more to the Jedi Academy of North Florida than playing with laser swords. The group participates in a variety of charity events for diseases like spina bifida and lupus. “’There is no ignorance, there is knowledge’ is one of our Oath quotes,” she JUNE 3-9, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15

THE

DARKEST SIDE OF THE FORCE

FROM THE IMAGINATION OF GEORGE LUCAS, the Star Wars franchise has brought joy to an incalculable number of lives.

And leading up to the December release of JJ Abrams’ contribution, there’ll be nostalgia aplenty. However, as Disney’s commitment to subsequent additions foreshadows, the whole story has yet to be documented.

As the public at large looks back fondly on the franchise’s most shining moments, Folio Weekly has harnessed the evil mystical energy of the Jedi to bring you some Star Wars stories that remain untold. Buried, for good reason, these incidences will rock the world, with reverberations to be felt in a galaxy far, far away.

by Matthew B. Shaw and Daniel A. Brown

KNOCKOFF LIGHTSABERS RESULT IN A SERIES OF RECALLS

Dismembered limbs, singed knuckles, cloaks erupting in flames, and continual hecklings from Siths were just a few of the aftershocks that afflicted Jedis when a series of counterfeit lightsabers flooded the market in 42 BBY. According to The Tatooine Times, at a press junket held in the He-AL-Ton Conference Room at the Holiday Inn Express on Chandrila, Yoda stated that he and the rest of the Jedi High Council believed that an inferior form of plasma leaked through the shaft’s plasma field. “Help, you need. Herh, herh, herh,” offered the wise, diminutive, hermaphroditic, guacamole-hued Jedi elder. “Midichlorian count matter not when cheap-ass saber explode face.”

HAN SOLO’S MID-LIFE CRISIS

It was the newly-pierced left ear that sent the rumor mill into hyperdrive. The late-night cavalcading and running-up of tabs at the Mos Eisley Cantina with a balding Chewbacca didn’t help. The return to the wearing of outdated and ill-fitting long-sleeved Henley tees (worn under a strategically unbuttoned vest) was certainly cringe-inducing. But it was the trading-in of the beloved Millennium Falcon for a new cherry-red N-1 Starfighter that confirmed that perhaps the most macho human smuggler ever to emerge from the manufacturing planet Corellia was indeed having a mental breakdown.

Though rumors of infidelity swirled, after months of encouragement from his wife Leia Organa, and their three children, Jaina, Jason, and Anakin, Solo pulled through the crisis, earring removed, dignity intact.

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explains. “To each their own, but you should first see what impact we have on sick kids, the disabled, terminally ill or just the little people who have an imagination or open mind. The smile we get from them and cheering up their day makes it all worth it.”

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JANF ISN’T THE ONLY STAR WARS GAME in town.

The First Coast is also home to Squad 7, which has 66 local members and is part of the statewide group The Florida Garrison, which fits under the international umbrella of 501st Legion.

According to the 501st’s charter, “The Legion seeks to promote interest in Star Wars through the building and wearing of quality costumes, and to facilitate the use of these costumes for Star Wars-related events as well as contributions to the local community through costumed charity and volunteer work.”

BJ Savage, a 40-year-old retired United States Air Force servicemember, has been an approved member of the 501st since October Master Bri Par, another of JANF’s master instructors.

AT-AT WALKERS PULLED FROM TOY SHELVES

Proving once again that all it takes is a few dumb kids who like to gnaw on toys to ruin all the fun for the rest of us, in 1981 Kenner Toys almost immediately pulled the first line of All Terrain Armored Transport (AT-AT) Walkers from the toy shelves. Dozens of children, many just uncool and not understanding of proper action-figure-playing etiquette, had apparently licked, chewed on, or directly ingested plastic fragments of the awesome four-legged model with fully movable limbs. The apparent culprit was found in the containers the toy company had used to import the items from the manufacturing plant in lower Asia. Hundreds of thousands of roundworm eggs, or ascaris lumbricoides, had been used as an economical packing material to keep the toys from breaking during shipping. Based on the mobile weaponry first seen in 1980’s The Empire Strikes Back, other users of the banned toy described how the original toy was “just awesome,” and “not as sucky” as the replacement version and the kids who were hospitalized due to the roundworm infestation; fans of the original called them “big dumb fart asses.”

R2-D2 GETS LOADED WITH NATIONAL LAMPOON ALUMNI

In the fall of 1978, George Lucas and the entire Star Wars organization were thrown into a frenzied panic when chirping astromech droid R2-D2 decided to have a booze-and-dope-filled lost weekend with former National Lampoon writers Doug Kenney and Michael O’Donoghue. After a wheezing, outof-shape search party combed throughout Lucas’ Marin County, California, enclave/future-cult-compound and its surrounding environs, the Star Wars impresario received word that R2-D2 and the pair of pioneering humorists were spotted in Manhattan at a Patti Smith concert at The Bottom Line. Lucas feared this defection could lead to another scandal. Mere months earlier, “Obi Wan Kenobi” star Alec Guinness had drunkenly pistol-whipped a key grip during the filming of a Star Wars TV commercial tie-in with Little Debbie snack cakes (“Ben Kenobi has a snack for you!”). After Lucas threatened legal action, Kenney and O’Donoghue agreed to send R2-D2 back in a first class seat on a major airline, but not before filling the interior of the much-loved droid’s cylindrical frame with an ounce of heavily cut cocaine, three-fifths of Scotch, a wind-up, cymbal-playing monkey, a Homer & Jethro LP, and a half-dozen souvenir tomahawks.

2010. He has 28 Star Wars costumes, but typically dresses as a Stormtrooper since “kids love them so much.”

Savage also boasts a closetful of garb for an Imperial Officer, Biker Scout, Clone Trooper, Obi-Wan Kenobi, A-Wing Pilot, Sandtrooper, Emperor’s Royal Guard, Greedo, Imperial Navy Trooper, Imperial Gunner and many more.

“We appear upon request at any number of local events,” Savage says, referencing Walk Now for Autism Speaks, various March of Dimes benefits and visits to Wolfson Children’s Hospital. He continues, “The 501st Legion is more than just a club to play dress-up or raise money for charity. It’s a family with camaraderie I’ve not seen since I was in the military.”

Savage adds, “It’s a highly positive, uplifting way to get involved in costuming, the local community and to make great friends. My only regret is that I didn’t join sooner.”

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NO MATTER HOW ELUSIVE MASTER WILL IS, the impact he’s had on children, his own children and entire families is evident. After all, as Master Yoda would say (loosely translated, of course), it’s not a Jedi’s style to go seeking adventure or excitement or, if you’re the leader of the Jedi Academy of North Florida, praise and notoriety.

“The growth of it has actually been the most exciting,” Master Will says of JANF. “When I started the school, it was an idea that I had for it to be more than just building a skill. I wanted it to do something for people. I wanted it to be about what Jedis stand for: peace and justice.”

Kara Pound mail@folioweekly.com

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Our Picks

Reasons to leave the house this week

GOURMET AND GOOD WORKS JACKSONVILLE FOODFIGHT

The 25th annual Foodfight features cuisine and drink from area restaurants and beverage wholesalers/retailers, along with live music and raffles. Proceeds benefit Lutheran Social Services of Northeast Florida. 6:30 p.m. June 4 at EverBank Field’s Touchdown Club East, Downtown, $60 advance; $50 for Young Professionals under 30; $100 VIP, jacksonvillefoodfight.org.

ROCK ATTACK! THE AIRSTRIKES Formerly known as No Vaccine, The Airstrikes are a literal super group of local creative and cultural badasses, featuring Noli Novak (vocals), George Cornwell (guitar), Clay Doran (bass), and Jack Twachtman (drums). Bassist Doran describes the band’s sound as, “riff-heavy ’90s grunge with angry female vocals, early Soundgarden meets Veruca Salt, L7, and maybe even early Garbage.” Sounds pretty damn good to us! 8 p.m. June 5 with Ruffians at Underbelly, Downtown, underbellylive.com.

GOOD SPORTS NEVER QUIT

Founded in honor of the late Capt. Gerard Petroni, whose vibrant passion for life included a love of athletics, the annual Never Quit fest includes a 5K and Trident race, 1-mile fun run, jump and skydiving demonstration, sunrise yoga, Warrior Challenge and Jr. Warrior Challenge, and Battle for the Beach. Each year the festival hopes to educate the community on how to avoid brain bleeds, stroke and heart disease through healthful life choices. The packet pickup and expo is held June 5 at SeaWalk Pavilion, First Street North, Jax Beach. For schedule and registration, go to neverquit.com. The competition events start June 6 at SeaWalk Pavilion.

SUPER CELLULOID SOIREE RENDEZVOUS FILM FESTIVAL

Named after Evans Rendezvous, an American Beach club that hosted musicians such as Louis Armstrong, James Brown and Ray Charles from the 1930s to 1950s, the inaugural Rendezvous Film Festival is a nine-day event featuring 200-plus films in feature film, animated, and documentary categories, 30-plus music videos, a gaming expo, and live music. June 5-13 at various venues in Fernandina Beach, rendezvousfestival.org.

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REVOLUTIONARY RAP BLUEPRINT

Since the late ’90s, underground hip hop artist Blueprint has released inventive and unrivaled albums, either as a member of Greenhouse Effect or as a solo artist. Adept at blending ambient-leaning beats with cerebral lyricism and a laconic delivery, Blueprint’s latest release, King No Crown, continues his reign as one of indie rap’s most progressive artists and thinkers. 9 p.m. June 5 with Supastition, Tough Junkie, Steam Mechanics, and DJ Rare Groove at rain dogs, Riverside, $10.

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A&E // FILM

PARADISE LOST

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CAMERON CROWE’s new film is a veritable island of bad ideas and even worse execution

W

ith success comes expectations and, for beneficial: They get access to his equipment, he Cameron Crowe, nothing short of highgets the legitimate support and space he needs quality, heartfelt filmmaking will do. to operate. Danny McBride and Alec Baldwin Perhaps that’s why, on their own, his most recent have fun in extended, but too few, cameos as efforts, Elizabethtown (2005) and We Bought Air Force officers.

A Zoo (2011), aren’t terrible, they’re just not The story is a bit muddled and, worse, nearly as impactful as Say Anything (1989), Jerry it’s a bore. In this age of social media and Maguire (1996) and Almost Famous (2000). superheroes, the privatization of the military is Crowe’s latest, Aloha, is different, a total snore as the focal point of though. It’s legitimately boring and a movie. The love story between ALOHA disappointing, and marks another Brian and his Air Force liaison, **@@ sad step in the wrong direction for the peppy Allison (Emma Stone), Rated PG-13 the once-promising writer/director. is a predictable waste of time.

He could not ask for more star The only remotely interesting power in this cast, including its supporting relationship is between Brian and his exroles. Bradley Cooper takes the lead as Brian, girlfriend Tracy (Rachel McAdams); romantic an Air Force veteran-turned-private military feelings still linger there in spite of her contractor who returns to Hawaii to negotiate a marriage to Woody (John Krasinski) and two “blessing” from the natives for a new Air Force kids. The way the Brian/Tracy situation evolves base. Brian’s employer is Carson (Bill Murray), feels honest and true; this is the only part of the who wants to dominate outer space with his film that can be described that way. satellites and rockets. Carson’s relationship Other problems abound: All the male with the Air Force is supposed to be mutuallyy characters are emotionally distant, which makes pp

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22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 3-9, 2015

ANTICIPATING THE SEPTEMBER RELEASE OF Cooties, the horror-comedy starring Rainn Wilson and Elijah Wood as elementary school teachers fighting a horde of zombie pre-teens, I decided to revisit three earlier films that also deal with homicidal kids. Though these films are quite good, not one of them is even remotely funny.

And none of them deals with demonic brats (The Omen and its successors), mutations (It’s Alive, The Brood, etc.), or possessed kids (The Exorcist and its carbon copies). No Children of the Corn either or The Bad Seed (respectively, religious fanaticism and adolescent sociopaths).

The earliest of the trio, Narcisco Ibanez Serrador’s Who Can Kill a Child? (1976), starts with some of the most chilling scenes imaginable, none of them fictional. Interspersed with the opening titles in a sequence that runs for nearly five minutes are photos and videos of brutalized children, beginning with WWII concentration camps and continuing with scenes of unthinkable suffering from Vietnam, Bangladesh, and Africa.

The point is painful and obvious — men make wars, and children are the victims.

The order of things is reversed in the story itself. A nice English couple visiting Spain takes a side trip to an island village whose adult inhabitants seem to have suddenly disappeared. There are some kids around, but they seem remote and distant, even faintly menacing ... except for the young girl who caresses the pregnant woman’s swollen belly, almost as if she were communicating with the unborn child within.

The explanation for the absent adults soon becomes painfully apparent to the anxious visitors.

The children have killed them all, brutally and with glee. Fleeing to the other side of the island, the English couple finds an older woman whose children still seem normal ... for a short while. Then, in a remarkable sequence recalling a similar scene in Hitchcock’s The Birds, the camera slowly pans upward to the crest of a hill where the village children are assembling.

Who Can Kill a Child? is masterful unsettling horror with no explanation whatsoever for the infection of evil. It just is.

In 2012, a masked, anonymous director of Russian/Belarus descent, who goes by Makinov, remade Serrador’s film as Come Out and Play.

Practically indistinguishable from its predecessor except for the setting (Mexico instead of Spain), the actors, and more explicit (and unnecessary) gore, Makinov’s film suffers only in comparison to the original. In that light, however, the newer film seems more pedestrian. Makinov, by the way, is a real kook — or maybe (rumor has it) merely Eli Roth in disguise.

Returning to originality, The Children (2008), written and directed by Tom Shankland, takes

it hard to invest our own emotions in their stories. Crowe’s script is not sharp, funny, clever or compelling. It has no surprises and just a few jokes — it’s hard to believe memorable lines such as “you had me at hello” and “show me the money!” came from the same man.

Worse, the script and subsequent movie lack the nostalgia and sweetness that always made Crowe’s films so special. We related to John Cusack’s Lloyd Dobler in Say Anything because he was hopelessly in love with Diane Court (Ione Sky), and went so far as to blast Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes” from his boom box, held high above his head in an effort to claim her affection. Almost Famous was a love letter to Crowe’s own early days as a music writer, and we completely understood innocent William’s (Patrick Fugit) crush on “Band-Aid” Penny Lane (Kate Hudson).

The point is, through classic rock music and stories of youth and love, Crowe effectively tugged at our hearts and gave us unforgettable moments. He did not, in his better days, worry about nuclear weapons in outer space, or about offending locals who consider their land a sovereign state, both of which he unadvisedly does in Aloha. It used to be all about emotion for Crowe, but now it’s about politics and money and bureaucracy. Heck, there’s not even a memorable song on the soundtrack. At least throw in a couple Tom Petty or Randy Newman tunes. How could Crowe stray so far from what made him great?

Crowe is not the first director to dip into a lull, and certainly will not be the last. Is he our next M. Night Shyamalan, who still makes movies even though he hasn’t made a good one in years? Or will he be like Woody Allen, who has ups and downs with his films? Time will tell. We can only hope Crowe figures it out soon, and remembers the music and heart and warmth that made him great in the first place.

Dan Hudak mail@folioweekly.com

MAGIC LANTERNS

place in a remote snowy home in England where two families (with lots of kids between them) have gathered to celebrate the Christmas holidays. The cheer soon turns to fear, however, as the little ones start acting peculiar.

The adults are soon under attack, along with the sole teenager of the bunch (a rebellious young girl with more brains and guts than her older relatives). The chilling (literally!) final scene implies the struggle might be in vain, for kids are gathering from all around, outside in the snow ... waiting, again like Hitchcock’s Birds.

The Children links the kids’ homicidal violence to a microbial cause, as if parents didn’t have enough childhood diseases to worry about. To that degree, it’s more a zombie film than Serrador’s (and, after him, Makinov’s) more metaphysical turn.

Regardless, all three films will have you scrambling for babysitters. Permanently?

Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com

FILM RATINGS

HOUR of the WOLF **** YEAR of the CAT **@@

HAIR of the DOG ***@ POOP of the PUP *@@@

SCREENINGS AROUND TOWN

SUN-RAY CINEMA Mad Max: Fury Road, Tomorrowland and Spy, at 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com.

THE CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared and Still Alice, at Corazon Cinema, 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. The Third Man screens noon June 4. American Sniper starts June 5.

IMAX THEATER Tomorrowland, Galapagos 3D and Humpback Whales 3D, at World Golf Village Hall of Fame IMAX Theater, St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com.

NOW SHOWING

THE 100-YEAR-OLD-MAN WHO CLIMBED OUT THE WINDOW AND DISAPPEARED Not Rated 100 gives us just what we’d expect: A senior citizen who takes it on the lam from a retirement home, encountering new adventures while recounting the fabulous occurrences of his past. Plus, it’s Swedish, so it has to be good! — Steve Schneider THE AGE OF ADALINE Rated PG-13 Blake Lively plays a woman with a condition that lets her go through the 20th Century without aging, affording her the kinds of adventures only perpetual youth can bestow. The cast includes Harrison Ford, Michiel Huisman, Ellen Burstyn and Kathy Baker. — S.S. ALOHA **@@ Rated PG-13 Reviewed in this issue.

AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON ***@ Rated PG-13 Tony Stark’s villainy is externalized in Ultron, an AI creation he’s worked on for years that he can bring to fruition now that the Avengers have reacquired Loki’s scepter from what’s left of Hydra (as told in the opening sequence); something to do with the extra computing power the scepter offers. Ultron (the voice of James Spader) has some of Tony’s (Robert Downey Jr.) attitudes, but a glitch in its “birth” makes it go cyber-insane; it extrapolates Tony’s notion of world peace to mean “a planet without humans.” Now it’s loose and must be stopped. Costars Mark Ruffalo, Scarlett Johansson, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans, Don Cheadle, Jeremy Renner and Paul Bettany. Whew! — MaryAnn Johanson DIL DHADAKNE DO Not Rated The comedy/drama costars Anil Kapoor, Shefali Shah and Priyanka Chopra. In Hindi.

ENTOURAGE Rated R Here are the small-screen douchebags who foolishly cast their lot behind He Who Talks to Halibut, reunited for yet more Left Coast asshole-buddy-ism. Hey, at least Rahm squeaked to re-election in Chicago, because that “Ari Gold” business has a lot less cachet when your real-life bro is filling the 2 p.m. time slot on MSNBC. — S.S. EX MACHINA ***@ Rated R It’s cerebral sci-fi, well done by first-time director Alex Garland. Set in the near future, it expounds on the premise of the chance of falling in love with artificial intelligence, by providing a voice, face, and partial body to an android; the results are fascinating. Caleb (Domhnall Gleeson) is a computer programmer at a tech company. He’s thrilled when he “wins” the chance to join the boss, Nathan (Oscar Isaac), for a week at Nathan’s research facility/home. — Dan Hudak FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD Rated PG-13 Remember that bit at the end of This is Spinal Tap where Derek St. Hubbins says he’s listening to an audiocassette series of great books read by celebrities with the same last name as the author? Director Thomas Vinterberg missed a chance to do something even more awesome when he didn’t cast Tom Hardy in this latest adaptation of Thomas Hardy’s story. How he let that one go I’ll never know, but instead we have to settle for Carey Mulligan as the central romantic fixation in a tale of love and courtship on a sheep farm. Damn, and I was so looking forward to seeing the works of James Joyce interpreted by Joyce DeWitt. — S.S. FURIOUS 7 ***@ Rated PG-13 137 minutes of pure adrenaline.

Costars Jason Statham, Dwayne Johnson, Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster, Ludacris, Tyrese Gibson, Djimon Hounsou and the late Paul Walker’s two real-life brothers, Caleb and Cody, body doubles and stand-ins for their brother. — D.H. GOOD KILL **@@ Rated R The premise focuses on aerial drone attacks in the Middle East flown from a Las Vegas trailer. The benefits are obvious: Pilots aren’t in danger, multiple points of view are provided, and the enemy never knows when a strike’s coming. Costars Bruce Greenwood, Ethan Hawke, January Jones, Zoë Kravitz, Jake Abel and Dylan Kenin. — D.H. HOME Rated PG HBO’s The Normal Heart showed Jim Parsons can handle more than The Big Bang Theory. So what did he choose for his all-important transition to mainstream cinema? Lilo and

A&E // FILM LISTINGS

Sheldon! You can hear a whole mess of Dr. Cooper in his voicing of Oh, an alien who strikes up a friendship with a human girl.

Any more safe moves like this, and I’ll claim a violation of our Roommate Agreement. — S.S. HOT PURSUIT **G@ Rated PG-13 As expected, Sofia Vergara plays a version of her screen persona; the more talented Reese Witherspoon takes top billing but plays second fiddle as Cooper, a by-the-book San Antonio cop. Her boss, Captain Emmett (John Carroll Lynch), asks her to assist Detective Jackson (Richard T. Jones), a federal marshal, to escort wanted criminal Felipe (Vincent Laresca) and his wife Daniella (Vergara) to Dallas to testify in the trial of a drug lord (Joaquin Cosio). Soon the marshal and husband are dead, and Cooper and Daniella are framed for the murders, so they go on the run. Chasing them are crooked cops, thugs, and the state of Texas. — D.H. INSIDIOUS: CHAPTER 3 **@@ Rated R Reviewed in this issue.

MAD MAX: FURY ROAD ***@ Rated R This is 120 minutes of noise and action, an unrelenting assault on the eyes and ears that feels invasive, as if director George Miller wants us to experience every bone-crushing moment. The barbaric savages in the post-apocalyptic hellhole where the movie is set stop at nothing to kill one another and claim the few valuables (like water and ammunition) left. Our morality aligns more with ex-cop Max (Tom Hardy) and renegade Furiosa (Charlize Theron) because they’re escorting a group of innocent girls away from villain Immortan Joe (Hugh Keays-Byrne). — D.H. PITCH PERFECT 2 ***@ Rated PG-13 The bad girls of a cappella are back in the sequel to the surprise 2012 hit that made $65 million on a $17 million budget. Forget about collegiate national titles – by the start of the film, the Barden Bellas have won three in a row. This time, they’re off to the world championships in Copenhagen, where a vaunted German team reigns as the favorite. It’s a bumpy road getting there. The opening performance number has Australian Fat Amy (Rebel Wilson) hanging inverted from a silk cloth in mid-air and, due to a rip in the material, unintentionally revealing a gift “from down under.” As expected, this eye-opener gets the Bellas in trouble, and banned from college competitions. To be reinstated, they have to win the world championships. Costars Anna Kendrick, Keegan Michael-Key, Skylar Astin, Brittany Snow, Adam DeVine, Ester Dean, Alexis Knapp, Hana Mae Lee, Chrissie Fit, Hailee Steinfeld and Elizabeth Banks, who also directed. — D.H. POLTERGEIST Rated PG-13 I get really P.O.ed at the thought of somebody befouling Steven Spielberg’s classic Poltergeist – one of the greatest haunted-house movies ever – but then I remember Spielberg himself screwed up Robert Wise’s The Haunting, and life is back in balance. The new P-geist has some impressive credits, including a starring role for the always-fascinating Sam Rockwell, direction by Gil Kenan and a screenplay by Pulitzerwinning playwright David Lindsay-Abaire. So maybe this does have a reason to exist beyond reinterpreting classic material for a generation that can’t figure out what those fuzzy lines on the TV screen were supposed to be. — S.S. SAN ANDREAS Rated PG-13 The trick of programming a summer-movie slate is figuring out which spectacles the majority of the American public would most like to see. A mighty earthquake lays waste to our nation’s major exporter of table wines and nude selfies.

Helicopter pilot Dwayne Johnson watches in horror as L.A. takes the hit, then realizes what he’s duty-bound to do: Fly up to San Fran to rescue the daughter who hates him. See, it’s a subtle metaphor for the terrors parents face when they let their kids run off to communities so warped by sexual libertinism they’d make Sean Penn their elected representative. Ex-wife Carla Gugino is along for the ride, so we’re guaranteed lots of healthy mutual recrimination as stuff goes crunch. Director Brad Peyton cut his blockbuster teeth on sequels to Cats and Dogs and Journey to the Center of the Earth, making San Andreas an acid test for launching an original franchise. — S.S. SPY Rated R I nominate Paul Feig for the Joan Harris-Holloway Award in recognition of his efforts to do something for women in an industry that could barely give two shits. No sooner had he announced his all-female Ghostbusters than Universal rendered it irrelevant by slating a male version for the next summer. In the interim, we have Spy, yet another Feig/Melissa McCarthy collaboration, which casts her as a CIA agent in the thick of an international crisis. — S.S. TOMORROWLAND *G@@ Rated PG The movie starts with blatant Disney promos, gets lost in a convoluted story, forgets to include its star (George Clooney) for an hour, guilt-trips us with a lecture on how we don’t appreciate Earth, and ends with a bunch of faux science that makes no sense. It’s so head-scratchingly bad it’s astounding. The visual effects are unimpressively glossy and cartoonish; everything looks profoundly fake. Being one visual step ahead of <The Jetsons> is not an accomplishment in 2015. Everything about this is a disappointment. — D.H.

JUNE 3-9, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23

A&E // FILM

HELL! HELL! THE GANG’S ALL HERE! Let’s hope this supernaturally bad installment of the horror series will be the last

S

24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 3-9, 2015

ometimes movies fail when all the right walls, rings bells, tries to pull her out a fourthpieces are in place but the final product story window — you know, the usual satanic just doesn’t come together. And then shenanigans. It’s unclear why the demon there are times when either the concept or would come and go instead of just taking over structure of the story couldn’t possibly have her body, but I think that’s one of those logical worked, which dooms the film from the start. questions you’re not supposed to ask about Insidious: Chapter 3 never had a chance. horror movies.

In terms of narrative structure, it’s a After these tediously repetitive instances nightmare, a story so poorly told it’s shocking of the demon toying with Quinn and her poor the script was green-lit. Writer/director Leigh father Sean (Dermot Mulroney) struggling Whannell co-wrote and starred (as Specs) to take care of her, Elise agrees to help. A in the first two Insidious films (which were full 15 minutes later, they get together and directed by James Wan, who try to attack the demon, now passed on this project due to with the help of paranormal INSIDIOUS: CHAPTER 3 his Furious 7 commitments), investigators Specs (Whannell) **@@ so clearly Whannell is familiar and Tucker (Angus Sampson).

Rated R with what a good script should So yes, it takes a full hour of the look like as production begins.

97-minute running time for the How we wound up with such a disjointed and main action to begin. This is what I mean by ineptly wrought story only Whannell knows, “structural nightmare.” See, usually, the main but it’s disappointing. action/conflict comes roughly 30 minutes Chapter 3 is a prequel to Insidious (2010) into the movie and thrusts the story forward, and its 2013 sequel, so it’s a bit inexplicable leading to a second conflict at the 60-minute that you need to have seen at least the first point that leads to the conclusion. This allows movie to understand what’s happening here. suspense to build gradually and culminate What you need to know is that “the Further” in the climax. By having only one conflict of is another dimension in which the souls of note, Chapter 3 draws out what little suspense dead people lurk with the hope of attaching it has until it’s just tiresome and, even then, to a living person. When the demons do glom the movie isn’t over. onto the living, horrible things happen. Time This would be more forgivable if the scares for the exorcism. Elise (Lin Shaye), the psychic were decent, but nothing is scary when it’s who helped others travel into the Further in repetitive and predictable. Anyone who’s seen a the first two films, is one of the few who can horror movie — let alone the Insidious franchise help expel the demons.

— knows these tricks: Demon shockingly Chapter 3 doesn’t give us Elise’s origin appears in the distance, behind the curtain, story; instead, it tells of a case she worked in the doorway, on top of the heroine, leaves shortly before helping the Lambert family in bloody footprints behind, etc. Thus, though the first movie. After teenager Quinn (Stefanie the sound and production design are solid, the Scott) comes to Elise in the opening scene, narrative and so-called frightening moments asking to communicate with Quinn’s recently are too underwhelming to be effective. deceased mother, Elise tells her she can’t help It’s also worth asking: Why a prequel? her and to not try to contact her mother, with Why not continue moving the Insidious story foreboding words of warning: “If you call out forward rather than put it in reverse to reveal to one of the dead,” Elise says, “all of them can inconsequential info that predates the first two hear you.” films? There’s nothing here that we absolutely So of course in the very next scene, Quinn had to know that sheds clearer light on what is trying to channel Mom. (Kids today just we’ve already seen. All of Insidious: Chapter 3 don’t listen.) feels like unnecessary filler, and there’s a place She doesn’t reach her mother, but she does prequels are supposed to go when they’re this get a pesky demon on her tail. And for the pointless: Straight to DVD hell. next 45 minutes, the hellish imp messes with Dan Hudak her head, throws her out of bed, knocks on mail@folioweekly.com

A&E // ARTS & EVENTS PERFORMANCE

A VISION AWAKENING Based on a year of direct engagement in the Cummer Gardens and research into Ninah Cummer’s writings, Lee Hunter, Charlotte Mabrey, Philip Pan, Barbara Colaciello, Kevin Bodge, Lis Williamson, Lon Williamson and Gabriel Valla combine original music with spoken word for an album release performance of A Vision Awakening: A Celebration of the Cummer Gardens & the St. Johns River, at 2 p.m. June 7 at Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, $25; $15 members, cummermuseum.org.

TOUGH TIMES, STRONG WOMEN Seven local female actors portray pioneering, historical women of Fernandina Beach at 6 p.m. June 6 at Tiger Point Marina, 997 Egans Creek Lane, Fernandina Beach. Tickets $50; at Amelia Island Museum of History, 233 S. Third St., Fernandina, 261-7378, ameliamuseum.org.

OSAGE: AUGUST COUNTY Players by the Sea stages Tracy Letts’ Pulitzer- and Tony-winning comical play, about three grown daughters who return to their home on the Oklahoma plains, at 8 p.m. June 5 and 6 at 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach, 249-0289, $23; $20 seniors, military, students; through June 20, playersbythesea.org.

THE ADDAMS FAMILY Orange Park Community Theatre presents a stage adaptation, based on the bizarre, beloved characters created by cartoonist Charles Addams, at 8 p.m.

June 5 and 6 and 3 p.m. June 7 at 2900 Moody Ave., Orange Park, 276-2599, $20, opct.org.

THE 25th ANNUAL PUTNAM COUNTY SPELLING BEE The musical comedy, about teens competing in the spelling championship of a lifetime, is staged through June 14.

Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menu is featured; at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 641-1212, $35-$55, alhambrajax.com.

CLASSICAL, CHOIR & JAZZ

KIM WATERS The smooth jazz saxophone colossus is on at 8 p.m. June 6 at The Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 632-5555, $34, ritzjacksonville.com.

ROSALIND J. ELSON Pianist Elson performs Four Centuries of Keyboard Music, Part 3, a concert of baroque, classic, romantic, and modern works by Purcell, Scarlatti, Pezold, Haydn, MacDowell, and Cruse at 3 p.m. June 12 in the Choir Loft of Shepherd of the Woods Lutheran Church, 7860 Southside Blvd., Southside, 641-8385.

COMEDY

TOM GREEN Comedian Green, who first began annoying audiences with his MTV talk show and appearances in films including Road Trip and Freddy Got Fingered, performs at 8 p.m. June 4 and 8 and 10 p.m. June 5 and 6 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, $20$25, 292-4242, comedyzone.com.

MAD COWFORD IMPROV Weekly PG-13-rated improv shows, based on audience suggestion, are held at 8:15 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at Northstar Substation, 119 E. Bay St., Downtown, $5, 233-2359, madcowford.com.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS

AUDITIONS FOR “LA CAGE AUX FOLLES” Players by the Sea auditions for its upcoming production of La Cage aux Folles at 1 p.m. June 7 at 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach. For more info, call Bradley Aker at 249-0289, playersbythesea.org.

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL SUMMER CAMP AUDITIONS Limelight Theatre auditions kids in grades 6-12 for High School Musical, 2-5 p.m. June 15 (first day of camp) at the theater, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, 825-1164, limelight-theatre.org. Call for session fees and details.

MUSICIANS NEEDED Amelia Musical Playhouse seeks musicians for its upcoming productions of Songs for a New World and Gypsy. 277-3455 or email dilljill@msn.com.

ART WALKS & MARKETS

FIRST WEDNESDAY ART WALK The downtown art walk, held 5-9 p.m. June 3 – this month’s theme is “Summertime Sizzle” – and every first Wed., features more than 13 live music venues, more than 13 hotspots open after 9 p.m. and 50 total participating venues, spanning 15 blocks in Downtown Jacksonville. iloveartwalk.com.

JAX BEACH ART WALK More than 30 local artists display works, 5-9 p.m. June 9 and every second Tue., along First Street between Beach Boulevard and Fifth Avenue North, Jax Beach, betterjaxbeach.com/jax-beach-art-walk.html.

COMMUNITY FARMERS & ARTS MARKET Baked goods, preserves, crafts, art, hand-crafted jewelry, 4-7 p.m. every Wed., 4300 St. Johns Ave., Riverside, 607-9935.

DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts & crafts, local produce, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. every Fri. at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 353-1188.

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Local and regional art, a free yoga session 9-10 a.m., local music – Meredith Rae, Katherine Archer, Nameless, Unsocialized, and Brother Nature starting 10:30 a.m. June 6 – food artists and a farmers’ row, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. every Sat. under Fuller Warren

Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com.

MUSEUMS

AMERICAN BEACH MUSEUM American Beach Community Center, 1600 Julia St., Fernandina, 277-7960, nassaucountyfl. com/facilities. The Sands of Time: An American Beach Story, celebrating MaVynee Betsch, “The Beach Lady,” is on display.

BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY PARK 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, beachesmuseum.org. The exhibit Mora: 25 Years on the First Coast runs through June.

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummer.org. Whitfield Lovell: Deep River is on display through Sept. 13. Reflections: Artful Perspectives on the St. Johns River is on display through Oct. 18. All Together: The Sculpture of Chaim Gross is on display through Oct. 4.

British Watercolors exhibits through Nov. 29. Public garden tours are given 11 a.m. every Tue. and Thur. Free admission from 4-9 p.m. every Tue.; free admission 10 a.m.-4 p.m. on the first Sat. of the month.

KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992. The Art of Springfield exhibit is on display through June 27. The Addams Family: Part Two is exhibited through Aug. 26.

MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 366-6911, mocajacksonville. com. Southern Exposure: Portraits of a Changing Landscape, is on display through Aug. 30. The exhibit In Time We Shall Know Ourselves: the Photographs of Raymond Smith, is on display through Aug. 30. The Art Aviators Exhibition displays through Aug. 16. Project Atrium: Angela Glajcar is on display through June 28. Phil Parker’s Assemblage/Collage is on display in the UNF Gallery through Aug. 30. Free admission from 4-9 p.m. every Thur. through the summer.

MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank, 396-6674, themosh.org. Cosmic Concerts presents Laser Beach Boys at 7 p.m., Laser Vinyl at 8 p.m., Laser Queen at 9 p.m. and The Wall at 10 p.m. on June 5 in Bryan-Gooding Planetarium; $5; $2.50 members; laser glasses $1. Skies Over Jacksonville, a live star show, is held 2 p.m. daily in the Bryan-Gooding Planetarium.

GALLERIES

THE ART CENTER II 229 N. Hogan St., Downtown, 355-1757.

The exhibit Under the Sea and Beneath the River is on display.

BUTTERFIELD GARAGE ART GALLERY 137 King St., St. Augustine, 825-4577. The opening reception for an exhibit of new works by Peter Rumpel, who works in sculpture, painting, and computer art, is held from 5-9 p.m. June 5. The exhibit is on display through June.

CoRK ARTS DISTRICT 2689 Rosselle St., Riverside. The exhibit Secrets, featuring works by Margete Griffin, Jeff Luque, and Suzi West, is currently on display.

CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530. Juried Alumni Exhibition displays through June 19.

THE CULTURAL CENTER AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, 280-0614, ccpvb.org. An opening reception for Curatorial’s Choice Exhibition is 6-8 p.m. June 5. The exhibit is on display through July 17. Anthony Whiting’s Visual Melodies in Unrestrained Colors is on display June 5-July 17.

FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 2416928. The 13th Annual Sea Turtle Show runs through July 6.

FLORIDA MINING GALLERY 5300 Shad Rd., Southside.

535-7252. Caitlin Hurd’s exhibit, Daydreams from Brooklyn, is on display through June.

HAWTHORN SALON 1011 Park St., Riverside, 619-3092, hawthornsalon.com. An opening reception for Sara Pedigo’s Brimming with Casual News exhibit is 6-9 p.m. June 12.

RITZ THEATRE & MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., 632-5555, ritzjacksonville.com. Through Our Eyes 2015: Wouldn’t Take Nothing for My Journey (An Artistic Revolution), works of 20 local African-American artists, is on display through July 28.

ROTUNDA GALLERY St. Johns County Admin. Bldg., 500 San Sebastian View, St. Augustine, 471-9980. St. Augustine Camera Club’s Annual Photography Show runs through July 23.

ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., St. Augustine, 824-2310, staaa.org. The Honors Show is on display June 5-July 5.

ST. AUGUSTINE VISITOR INFORMATION CENTER 10 W. Castillo Dr., 825-1053, staugustine-450/tapestry. The exhibit Tapestry: The Cultural Threads of First America, which explores intertwining cultures of Hispanics, Africans and Native Americans and how they helped form the foundation of American culture, is on display through Oct. 4.

VANDROFF ART GALLERY Jewish Community Alliance, 8505 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 730-2100. The exhibit The Paintings of Margaret Billesimo is on display through June.

X.NIHILO 956 N. Liberty St., Downtown. An opening reception for Mequin, featuring paintings by Dimelza Broche and Franklin Ratliff, is 7-9 p.m. June 5. The exhibit is on display through July 3.

EVENTS

JACKSONVILLE FOODFIGHT The 25th annual Foodfight is held 6:30 p.m. June 4 at EverBank Field’s Touchdown Club East, 1 EverBank Field Dr., Downtown. Food and drink from area restaurants and beverage wholesalers/retailers are featured, along with live music and raffles. Proceeds benefit Lutheran

JUNE 3-9, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25

A&E //ARTS

SILLINESS IN ALL SERIOUSNESS

I

f you think a conversation with Tom Green would be crammed full of wackiness and a bunch of nonsensical babble, you would be wrong. If you were looking forward to the sort of unbridled enthusiasm shown as he drapes a deer carcass across his body or scares the hell out of folks on the subway, you would be disappointed.

Tom Green may usually be the guy to make a fool out of himself (or you) for some laughs but, over the phone, he’s a straight-shooter.

So much so, in fact, that I threw away my Drew Barrymore question out of fear of angering him.

Green grew up tormenting his parents in Ontario, Canada long before Bam Margera ever did likewise on TV. Green was doing standup as a teenager and rapping into his early 20s.

In 1994, the then-23-year-old Green struck comedy gold with MTV’s The Tom Green Show, which brought shock humor into the living rooms of suburban teens around the world. Green’s anarchic take on Generation X humor preceded (and arguably paved the way for) Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera and crew taking it a step further with Jackass and Sacha Baron Cohen invading America with his clueless-yet-ballsy character, Ali G. With quirky and solid supporting performances in flicks like Road Trip and Charlie’s Angels — as well as the Razzies equivalent of Titanic, Freddy Got Fingered, Green is a man of all mediums, most recently including a return to his original milieu: standup.

Now 43, Green seems full of confidence and precisely aware of his contributions to the world of comedy. The Canadian-born comedian spoke with Folio Weekly about, of course, “Lonely Swedish (The Bum Bum Song),” Web-O-Vision, and his comedy dreams coming to fruition.

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Folio Weekly: “Lonely Swedish (The Bum Bum Song)” is now more than 15 years old. Is America ready to appreciate the brilliance of this song, now that we’ve caught up with it culturally?

Tom Green: Well, uhh … let’s not rewrite history here. Remember “The Bum Bum Song” was the No. 1 song by request on MTV’s Total Request Live. It was actually very appreciated at the time and continues to be appreciated. Not a day goes by that somebody doesn’t shout out of their car window at me: “Tom, my bum is on the plant, my bum is on the cheese.” It was fun.

Along with the “Bum Bum Song,” you’ve actually had quite a career musically. How much do the worlds of music and comedy intersect for you? Do they influence each other?

They have intersected in the past. I did some rapping as a teenager, but I haven’t been doing much music in my comedy lately; I’m hoping to change that. I’m going to start recording some more music soon. It’s definitely an interesting time right now for music and viral video with the Internet. I am actually building a television studio in Los Angeles and we are going to do a live Web-O-Vision show and we are going to have music and comedy and lots of fun stuff on it. You can watch it online and you can interact with the show, call into the show and so I am encouraging everybody out there to watch us do all sorts of interviews and comedy and music.

I’ve watched some of the past interviews you’ve conducted. It seems like you play it a little 26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 3-9, 2015

Comedian TOM GREEN offers a surprisingly stoic view on his past, present, and future

more straight-faced and close to the vest than you did on your MTV show. Do you feel a different responsibility as the interviewer?

I did a show last year on a network called Access TV which was more of a serious interview setting, but I’m not doing that show anymore. I’m doing a new show with cameras following me around as I do standup, and it’s not serious in any way. We’re going to have a phone on the desk and I give the number out live and people can call in live, and we’re going to have Skype video and it’s just going to be a ridiculous environment. We’re just trying to lighten it up and make it wacky again.

TOM GREEN

8 p.m. June 4; 8 and 10 p.m. June 5 and 6 at the Comedy Zone, Mandarin, $20-$25, comedyzone.com I need to get some updates on some of your previous antics. One time, your parents went out of town and you painted their house plaid.

Your dad said he was going to sell your car.

Did that happen?

He didn’t actually sell it, but the car was taken away and I was disciplined. It was a car he bought me and he took it right away. I didn’t get the car keys back until I painted the house back.

So, yeah, I painted it back. That was one of our big pranks and it was early on, before people were really running around with video cameras doing stuff like this. That was a lot of fun.

With stunts like that, and like waking up your parents at three in the morning to watch a Bon Jovi video, you were a true pioneer of that sort of comedy. Shows like Jackass and other offshoots came later. What are your thoughts about the role you’ve played in this sort of comedy?

I think about it because people bring it up with me a lot, pretty much every day. I was there at the right time, I was very passionate about broadcasting and really embraced video cameras. I went out and starting making all these crazy pranks. I was so driven to get on television that I managed to convince MTV to put me on at a time when nobody was doing that stuff, so, yeah, it’s pretty cool.

Are you the same Tom Green in your standup routine as you were on TV? People who come to see the show definitely leave getting what they hoped for, which is a massively hilarious, over-the-top, wild, outrageous, absurd comedy performance.

The tone of it and the absurdity of it are very, very present. My goal is to make people really, really laugh, really, really hard. I’m painting pictures with words and hopefully making people think about the world we’re living in and laughing at it.

You’ve had quite a career and done a multitude of different things. What has been the most fulfilling thing you’ve done? What do you look back on with pride?

I get a lot of real joy out of getting up on stage and doing standup and interacting with people all around the world. I started in a very DIY, grassroots way, making a show in the early years. So I guess the most fulfilling thing would be that I get to continue to do it and that I have great fans all around the world that continue to support me and let me continue to do comedy. When I was a kid, I just wanted to work in comedy in any capacity. It was such a dream of mine, and the dream came true and I’m having a blast.

Danny Kelly mail@folioweekly.com

A&E // ARTS & EVENTS Social Services of Northeast Florida. Advance tickets are $60; $50 for Young Professionals younger than 30; $100 VIP. 730-8239, 448-5995, jacksonvillefoodfight.org.

RENDEZVOUS FILM FESTIVAL The nine-day event features 200-plus films in categories of feature fi lm, animated, and documentary, 30-plus music videos, a gaming expo, and live music June 5-13 at various venues in Fernandina Beach. For a schedule, go to rendezvousfestival.org.

NEVER QUIT The packet pickup and expo for this annual athletic event, which includes a 5K and Trident race, 1 mile fun run, jump and skydiving demonstration, sunrise yoga, Warrior Challenge and Jr. Warrior Challenge, and Battle for the Beach, is held June 5 at SeaWalk Pavilion, First Street North, Jax Beach. For a schedule and registration, go to neverquit. com. The competition events start June 6 at SeaWalk Pavilion.

CHILDREN’S ART SHOW Children’s Art Classes holds its sixth annual children’s art show, featuring more than 300 works by local children, from 6-8 p.m. June 9 at 11250 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. A109, Mandarin, childrensartclasses.com.

COSMIC CONCERTS Laser shows include Laser Beach Boys 7 p.m., Laser Vinyl 8 p.m., Laser Queen 9 p.m. and Laser ‘The Wall’ at 10 p.m. June 5 in Bryan-Gooding Planetarium, Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank; online tickets $5, 396-7062, moshplanetarium.org.

UNION GARRISON EVENT Historians re-enact life in the fort as it was in 1864. Soldiers in period dress perform in firing demonstrations, marching drills, cooking and daily activities.

Ladies promenade in Civil War-era dresses, sutlers display their wares and drummer boys … well, drum. Union Garrison event 9 a.m.-5 p.m. June 6, 9 a.m.-noon June 7, Fort Clinch State Park, 2601 Atlantic Ave., Fernandina Beach. Park entrance fee: $6 per vehicle; $2 per person Fort admission; 277-7274, floridastateparks.org.

DRAKE’S RAID The 28th annual historical re-enactment of Sir Francis Drake’s Raid in 1586 on St. Augustine is presented throughout the city of St. Augustine on June 6, 829-9792, drakesraid.com.

NORTH FLORIDA LAND TRUST FISH FRY & OPEN HOUSE NFLT holds its fourth annual fish fry 3 p.m. June 6 at Talbot Island House, 12134 Houston Ave., Big Talbot Island. A nature hike, sunset paddle, lawn games, live music by Cain’t Never Could and Hard 2 Handle and food from Treemendous BBQ ($15 a plate) and $2 local beers are featured. eventbrite.com, northfloridalandtrust.org.

GUIDED CULTURAL HIKE GTMRR offers a hike 8:30-10:30 a.m. June 6; meet at Trailhead Pavilion, west of Guana Dam, 505 Guana River Rd., Ponte Vedra. Wear closed-toe shoes. $3 parking fee, 823-4500.

JACKSONVILLE SHARKS vs. ORLANDO PREDATORS Pirates & Princesses themed night; game starts at 7 p.m.

June 6 at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., Downtown, $12-$133, 621-0700, jaxsharks.com.

SPRINGFIELD TOUR OF HOMES The 37th annual Historic Springfield Tour of Homes, a self-guided tour of eight homes in the district, is noon-5 p.m. June 6 and June 7. Advance tickets purchased before June 1 are $12; $15 after. For more information and to purchase tickets, go to sparcouncil.org.

WILD WONDERS’ ANIMAL ADVENTURES FOR KIDS This kid-geared nature event features fun, informative stories and

hands-on time with 17 mammals and reptiles at 11 a.m. June 6 at Dutton Island Preserve Pavilion, 2001 Dutton Island Dr., Atlantic Beach, 247-5828, coab.us/events.

JACKSONVILLE ARMADA VS. OTTAWA FURY Local football faves the Jacksonville Armada take on the Ottawa Fury at 4 p.m.

June 7 at the Baseball Grounds, 301 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., Downtown, $20-$60, 633-6100, ticketmaster.com.

5K FAMILY FUN RUN The Jewish Community Alliance presents this free family 5K run, featuring giveaways and prizes for all participants, from 8-11 a.m. June 7 at the 16th Avenue South public access, Jax Beach, 730-2100, registration requested by June 4; first 50 registrants get a free T-shirt, jcajax.org.

TEDXJACKSONVILLE TUESDAY Ted Powell, Parvez Ahmed, and Chevara Orrin discuss the TED talk topic, “Race, Laws, Religion, Politics … Are We Polarizing?,” at 6 p.m. June 9 at Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, reservations required, cummermuseum.org.

MUSIC BY THE SEA Live music by Steam, with dinner available from Amici, 6 p.m. food service, concert at 7 p.m. June 3; Live music by JW Gilmore & the Blues Authority, with dinner available from By Design Catering, 6 p.m. food service, concert at 7 p.m. June 10 at St. Augustine Beach Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., free, 347-8007, thecivicassociation.org.

PLANT PEST WORKSHOP Pests and diseases of concern to potato and cole growers are discussed 10 a.m.-3:15 p.m. June 4 at St. Johns County Agricultural Center, 3125 Agricultural Center Dr., St. Augustine, $10, eventbrite.com/e/potatoand-cole-crop-growers-first-detector-training-workshoptickets-16865938476.

AUTHOR AT MAIN LIBRARY Award-winning author Michael Wiley discusses his latest noir fiction title, Blue Avenue, at 3 p.m. June 6 in Main Library’s Zimmerman Overlook, 303 Laura St. N., Downtown, 630-2665, jaxpubliclibrary.org.

AMELIA RIVER CRUISES Adult Twilight BYOB Cruises are held every Thur., Fri. and Sat., featuring live music, from Amelia River Cruises, 1 N. Front St., Fernandina Beach, 261-9972; for fees and details, go to ameliarivercruises.com.

JACKSONVILLE SUNS The Suns continue a homestand against the Montgomery Biscuits at 1:05 p.m. June 3 (Businessperson’s Special), 7:05 p.m. June 4 (Thursday Night Throwdown, Rounds at the Grounds, College ID Discount), and 7:05 p.m. June 5 (Fireworks, Dale Murphy Appearance, Hurricane Preparedness Night). All the action is at Bragan Field, Baseball Grounds, 301 Randolph Blvd., Downtown.

Tickets $7.50-$25.50; 358-2846, jaxsuns.com.

AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY SUMMER CAMP Amelia Island Museum of History holds sessions June 1-5 for ages 7-9, featuring history, art, nature, and cooking events, at 233 S. Third St., Fernandina Beach, fee is $50, 261-7378, ameliasmuseum.org.

DAILY EVENTS AT HEMMING PARK Hemming Park offers free yoga, group fitness and live music, across from City Hall, 117 W. Duval St., Downtown; for schedule, go to hemmingpark.org/ hemming-park-events.

UNF SUMMER CAMPS The University of North Florida’s Department of Campus Recreation offers two summer camps for kids ages 5-14. Youth Sports & Fitness Camp runs June 8-Aug. 7; EcoCamp runs June 8-July 31. For more info, go to unf.edu/recreation/camps.

TWIN LAKES ACADEMY CAMP TIMBERWOLF 2015 Twin Lakes Academy Middle School summer camp is held 7 a.m.-5:45 p.m.

Mon.-Fri., June 15-Aug. 7 at 8050 Point Meadows Dr., Baymeadows. A field trip every day, outdoor activities, swimming, water parks, bowling, movies, arts & crafts, sports and more.

The cost for a single child is $1,200 for all eight weeks ($150 a week) or $1,150 per child for parents with more than one kid. New this year is Half Camp (four weeks) at $600 per child.

Call Ronald Soud, 864-2409 or email soudr@duvalschools.org or Jesse Schuster at schusterj@duvalschools. org for more information.

SUMMER ART CAMPS IN ST. AUGUSTINE The St. Augustine Art Association offers five sessions starting in June for grades 1-6 and ages 12 and older. For more info, go to staaa.org.

JR. WATERMAN’S SUMMER CAMP Black Creek Guides holds sessions July 6-10, 27-31,Aug. 3-7, 10-14 and 17-21, featuring SUP lessons,paddle and watersports knowledge, safety and techniques, for ages 7-15. For fees, details and descriptions, go to blackcreekguides.com.

SUMMER ART CAMP AT THE CUMMER The Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens is offering a summer The opening reception for Mequin, art camp for elementary and middle featuring paintings by DIMELZA BROCHE school children, with activities including (pictured, The Wait) and FRANKLIN printing, drawing, painting, and working RATLIFF, is held from 7-9 p.m. June 5 at with clay, from 9 a.m.-3:30 p.m. Mon.Downtown’s X.NIHILO gallery.

Fri., June 8-July 24. $200; $140 for members, 356-6857, cummer.org.

JUNE 3-9, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27

A&E // MUSIC

Inaugural BACKYARD BBQ brings bands, beers, bathing suits g p and benefits to St. Augustine Amphitheatre’s back lot

I

WET, HOT SUMMER

n a city as small as St. Augustine, competition for scarce resources is inevitable.

Case in point: the number of venues where Oldest City music fans can see a nationally touring band.

Depending on your criteria, that digit has hovered between zero and five for the last 15 years. But rather Portland, Oregon surfthan battle over garage-rock heads bookings and Guantanamo Baywatch prime weekend headline the Backyard BBQ. show slots, Nick Haneman of Commoditie Booking and Ryan Murphy of the St. Johns Which fits right in with the aesthetic of County Cultural Events Division have come headliners Guantanamo Baywatch, who’ve together to give St. Augustine that rarest of done more to update the slippery, reverbbirds: something entirely new to do. drenched Dick Dale of surf rock than any Of course, everyone is familiar with a other contemporary. The band’s new album, Backyard BBQ, which is how Haneman, Darling … It’s Too Late, continues its tradition who books most of his punk and garage rock of smashing up classic pop instrumentation shows at ultimate dive bar Shanghai Nobby’s, with a rowdy basement band attitude. But and Murphy, who just finalized the big-ticket a more professional recording process this downtown details for St. Augustine’s 450th go-round lends a subtly spit-polished soul and birthday celebration, are billing June 6 at the R&B feel to the work — and GBW frontman Amphitheatre’s back lot. Beer tents and barbecue Jason Powell says that jibes nicely with the grills for the adults, Super Soakers and dunking Backyard BBQ’s fresh format. booths for the kids, slip’n slides and lawn “I’m so glad it’s over, because the writing, pools for all, surf and skate videos from local recording, mixing, and mastering of the album filmmaker Drew Miller, keyed-up tunes from took a whole year,” he says. “But having a Portland’s Guantanamo Baywatch, Orlando’s bunch of new songs to play on the road is The Delusionaires, Oldest City-via-San Diego exciting. We also have another guitar player hip-hoppers Mental Patients, South Florida’s for this tour, so we’re going to be a four-piece, Sandratz, and rising local which should be superheroes Nutritional Beast fun. So many of our Backyard BBQ: GUANTANAMO … it’s enough to pique songs can be changed BAYWATCH, THE DELUSIONAIRES, anyone’s interest. Which is on the spot, which SANDRATZ, NUTRITIONAL BEAST, exactly the point. comes from playing so MENTAL PATIENTS “This came together as many different types of 5 p.m. June 6, St. Augustine an outside-the-box idea venues — house parties, Amphitheatre, $8 advance; $10 at the that would be more fringe bars, car shows, surf door, staugamphitheatre.com and fun,” says Murphy, rock conventions — for general manager of the such a wide age range Amphitheatre and Ponte Vedra Concert Hall. of people, from 16 to 45. With a second guitar “Working on shows [at those two venues] can player who’s also good at singing and can do all limit us from doing smaller, more intimate stuff the vocal harmonies, we’ll probably be able to that appeals to a specific crowd. Nick has done change even more stuff up on the fly.” an amazing job in bringing great punk, garage, Powell also raves about Guantanamo and surf bands to the area, so there’s something Baywatch’s love of Florida, because of what he calls our fair state’s “awesome tropical hillbilly really natural about doing a show like this in an vibe” and the intimate connections afforded empty lot backstage and giving it a cool beach by booking shows with DIY promoters like vibe. It will also be kind of Mad Max-looking Haneman. That attitude is perfect for the funback there, so maybe that will help.” loving inaugural Backyard BBQ — but as Murphy Haneman says he’s pumped to finally take says, this is “more than just a show”: $2 from a promotional step up, something he’s been every ticket ($8 in advance, $10 at the door) goes working toward since his first show in 2011 directly to Matanzas Riverkeeper, a nonprofit — internationally acclaimed garage rocker organization dedicated to the protection and Ty Segall at tiny, now-defunct Anastasia preservation of the waterway that meanders a Boulevard club Ring of Fire — and strategizing mere mile from the Amphitheatre stage. for months. “After Ryan and I worked together Last year, Northeast Florida environmental on the La Luz show at Colonial Quarter in hero Neil Armingeon described the Matanzas, February, we stayed interested in working on whose 186-square-mile watershed is revered for more shows at other spots,” Haneman says. “It’s its mostly pristine nature, as “the last, best river really beautiful to bring my shows to another in Florida.” Here’s hoping the Backyard BBQ level for more than just 50 people to enjoy. is the first, best event to honor it alongside St. The whole idea is presenting different types Augustine’s evolving live music community. of acts in a block party setting — without the emphasis on ‘party’ to make it family-friendly.

Nick McGregor Everyone is encouraged to bring swimwear.” mail@folioweekly.com

28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 3-9, 2015

A&E // MUSIC

RIVER OF ETERNITY

A troupe of seasoned musicians and actors blends song and spoken word into an inventive collaboration

C

overing more than two-and-a-half acres, the gardens at the Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens have roots dating back to 1903, literally. Featuring reflecting pools, mature live oaks, antique ornaments and hundreds of vibrant azalea bushes, the gardens have inspired and influenced visitors for more than a century.

So it only makes sense that local singersongwriter Lee Hunter (formerly of the band Tammerlin) sprouted an idea about the Cummer more than three years ago: Put together a concert of original music that would celebrate this collection of historic vegetation as well as the St. Johns River.

The gardens are on the riverbank.

Hunter brought the proposal to museum director Hope McMath and the rest – as they say – is history.

On Sunday, June 7, A VISION TO BEHOLD: Performers (L-R) Barbara Colaciello, Lis Williamson, Charlotte Mabrey, Lon Williamson, Kevin Bodge, Philip Pan, and A Vision Awakening: Lee Hunter; not pictured: Gabriel Valla.

A Celebration of the Cummer Gardens & asking permission to use a recording of the the St. Johns River will be performed in its of community and of responsibility to her concert for the upcoming Reflections exhibit entirety at Terry Gallery, which overlooks the community. She was bright, dedicated and celebrating the St. Johns River that was coming gardens and the river. quite a leader and visionary for the city.” up in February 2015,” says Hunter.

Hunter, the project’s founder and organizer Once the trio had a basic idea for content, As is true of many creatively shaped as well as producer, composer and musician on they invited actors Kevin Bodge and Barbara projects, the main problem was funding. “I told the accompanying record, which was released Colaciello to join. In September 2013, the her that I’d be happy in April, will be joined by Philip Pan, Barbara troupe presented the to give permission, but Colaciello, Kevin Bodge, Lis Williamson, Lon first performance of A VISION AWAKENING: A there was no recording.

Williamson and Gabriel Valla.

A Vision Awakening, CELEBRATION OF THE CUMMER She asked me to put a The evolution of this all-encompassing which included original GARDENS & THE ST. JOHNS RIVER budget together, which musical project has been wrought on a long music and spoken word 2 p.m. June 7, Cummer Museum of Art & I did. She and Hope and winding road. featuring text from Gardens’ Terry Gallery, Riverside, $25; $15 felt very strongly that “I knew that I wanted to work with Cummer’s speeches, members; cummermuseum.org/event/ Charlotte Mabrey and Philip Pan,” Hunter says garden journals and the CD needed to be vision-awakening; registration required. of early contributors to A Vision Awakening other writings. done,” says Hunter. “It’s CD available in museum gift shop. and some of the area’s most esteemed “To be clear, the not every day that an musicians. “They were already on board. only music that I wrote art museum wishes to The three of us were the core creators of the for the project is a song called ‘St. Johns produce a CD of performance art.” concert performance.”

River Dream,’” Hunter admits. “Charlotte In January 2015, Hunter and her team got Remember, this was back a few years ago created a multiple percussion arrangement to work recording the album at Gatorbone when the idea was fresh and the musicians to accompany a poem. Gabe Valla wrote Studios in Keystone, which is owned by weren’t quite sure how or what they were the beautiful transitional guitar parts to collaborators Lis and Lon Williamson. going to coordinate. So they took to museum accompany the narration. The rest of the music “The album has been received very is either traditional or was written by others.” positively. It plays constantly in the gallery,” records — specifically, the letters and diaries And the project proved so powerful that says Hunter. “When we first proposed the of Ninah Cummer, the property’s original approximately $10,000 was raised through concert idea, we had no idea that any of that matriarch, for inspiration. private donors and a fundraising event at was planned. It has been kind of magical the “We dug through Ninah’s archives, not the museum to record, mix and master an way all the threads have been woven together, really having a direction for the show, but accompanying record. how perfect the timing seems to have been.” feeling that we would find our direction “Holly Keris, the Cummer’s head curator, through the research,” Hunter explains.

Kara Pound contacted me in the summer of 2014 “We learned that Ninah had a deep sense mail@folioweekly.com JUNE 3-9, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29

Local punk rock kings WHOLE WHEAT BREAD perform at The Roadhouse on June 5 in Orange Park.

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK MASTER RADICAL, MOYAMOYA, SUNSPOTS, DJ SIR ROBIN

5 p.m. June 3 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, 699-8186.

SPADE McQUADE 6 p.m. June 3 & 10 at Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176, Downtown, 374-1247.

DENNY BLUE 6 p.m. June 3 & 10 at Paula’s Beachside Grill, 6896 A1A S., Crescent Beach, 471-3463.

GBH, TOTAL CHAOS, FFN 8 p.m. June 3 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $15.

ERYN SHEWELL 9 p.m. June 3 at Milltop Tavern, 19 St. George St., St. Augustine, 829-2329.

CANARY IN THE COALMINE 7 p.m. June 4 at Museum of Contemporary Art Jacksonville, 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 366-6911.

THE FUNERAL PORTRAIT, JUST LIKE GENTLEMEN, FOREVERATLAST, PERSONALITIES, SEARCHING SERENITY 7 p.m. June 4 at 1904 Music Hall, 19 N. Ocean St., Downtown, $10 advance; $13 day of.

BE EASY 7:30 p.m. June 4 at Latitude 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., Southside, 365-5555.

FIREKID 8 p.m. June 4, Jack Rabbits, $5.

BIG SMO 6 p.m. June 5 at Mavericks at The Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 356-1110, $15.

DROPSHOT, GENERATOR, TOGETHER IN EXILE, YOUNG FOR A DAY, F.I.L.T.H. 8 p.m. June 5 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473, $8.

THE SPACE TIME TRAVELERS, BONNIE BLUE, OSCAR MIKE, JORDAN GONZALEZ BAND 8 p.m. June 5, Jack Rabbits, $8.

THE AIRSTRIKES, RUFFIANS 8 p.m. June 5, Underbelly.

EL CONJUNTO TROPICAL 8 p.m. June 5 at The Jacksonville Landing, Downtown, 353-1188.

WHO RESCUED WHO 8:30 p.m. June 5, Latitude 360.

BLUEPRINT, DJ RARE GROOVE, SUPASTITION, TOUGH JUNKIE, STEAM MECHANICS 9 p.m. June 5 at rain dogs, 1045 Park St., Riverside, 379-4969, $10.

WHOLE WHEAT BREAD 10 p.m. June 5 at The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611.

Riverside Arts Market: MEREDITH RAE, KATHERINE ARCHER, NAMELESS, UNSOCIALIZED, BROTHER NATURE 10:30 a.m. June 6 at 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449.

DENNY BLUE 5 p.m. June 6 at Milltop Tavern, 829-2329.

The Backyard Barbecue: GUANTANAMO BAYWATCH, THE DELUSIONAIRES, SANDRATZ, NUTRITIONAL BEAST, MENTAL PATIENTS 5 p.m. June 6 at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 209-0367, $8 advance; $10 day of (SRO).

THE BUSINESS 8 p.m. June 6 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, $12.

TWIZTED PSYCHO, SNORE, THE HAPPYFACED MISTAKES, MINOR INFLUENCE 8 p.m. June 6, Jack Rabbits, $5.

BRYCE ALASTAIR BAND, BRENT BYRD 8 p.m. June 6, 1904 Music Hall, $8 advance; $10 day of.

RUSTY SHINE 10 p.m. June 6, The Roadhouse.

SPLIT TONE 8:30 p.m. June 6, Latitude 360.

418 BAND 4 p.m. June 7, The Jacksonville Landing.

THIRD EYE BLIND, DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL, AUGUSTANA 5 p.m. June 7, St. Augustine Amphitheatre, $22.50-$49.50.

Nightmarefest: SUNZ OF SAMM, RIZZIN, LIL ROACH, CELL, MIND RAPPING MUTANT, DJ ANON, COMATOSE KIDD, ALCATRAZ, CASH MANGY, KAOS, ORIAS 6 p.m. June 7, Jack Rabbits, $10.

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SONGWRITER’S NIGHT with MIKE SHACKELFORD 6 p.m.

June 7 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-5849.

BUCKCHERRY, WITHIN REASON 6 p.m. June 10, Mavericks at The Landing, $22.

I THE MIGHTY, HAIL THE SUN, TOO CLOSE TO TOUCH 6:30 p.m. June 10 1904 Music Hall, $10.

ALLEN STONE, BRYNN ELLIOT 7 p.m. June 7 at Colonial Quarter, 33 St. George St., St. Augustine, 342-2857, $25 (SRO).

DANIEL & THE LION, THE HIDEOUTS, EAST CHINA SEA, PARADIME 8 p.m. June 8, Jack Rabbits, $8.

THE RED PAINTINGS, HEAVY FLOW, BRAIDED SUN 8 p.m.

June 9, Jack Rabbits, $10.

ANCIENT RIVER 8 p.m. June 10 at Burro Bar. BODYSNATCHER, HOUNDS THE ALASKAN 7 p.m. June 10, Jack Rabbits, $8.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

THE GIPSY KINGS, NICOLAS REYES, TONINO BALIARDO June 11, The Florida Theatre SETH WALKER June 11, Mudville Music Room TYCHO June 11, Freebird Live THE SHIFT, AUTOMATIK FIT June 11, Jack Rabbits BOOGIE FREAKS June 12 & 13, The Roadhouse SUPERHEAVEN, DIAMOND YOUTH, ROZWELL KID June 12, Burro Bar HYSTERIA (Def Leppard tribute) June 12, Freebird Live SWAMP RADIO June 12, The Florida Theatre BETA PLAY, TRAGIC THRILLS, STRANGERWOLF, ANCESTROS CORD June 13, Jack Rabbits SEA CYCLES, TOMBOI, WISE RIVER June 13, Underbelly STONE BONE June 13, Freebird Live DAVID CROSBY June 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall Florida Country Superfest: ZAC BROWN BAND, KEITH URBAN, BRANTLEY GILBERT, COLE SWINDELL, TYLER FARR, DAVID NAIL, COLT FORD, DANIELLE BRADBERY, SWON BROTHERS June 13 & 14, EverBank Field CHARLI XCX June 15, Freebird Live NELDORETH, VESTARIAN, THE NOCTAMBULANT, SATURNINE June 15, Burro Bar Happy Together Tour: THE TURTLES, FLO & EDDIE, THE ASSOCIATION, MARK LINDSAY, THE GRASSROOTS, THE COWSILLS, THE BUCKINGHAMS June 16, The Florida Theatre IN YOUR MEMORY, BLACKLASHES & BAD IDEAS, 1.8.7. June 16, Jack Rabbits BRONCHO, LE ORCHID June 17, Jack Rabbits HOT SCREAMS, MOTHER SUPERIOR, JEFF HULL June 19, Burro Bar ARCHNEMESIS, MZG, DAMBALLA, CAT PARTY June 19, Freebird Live JENNI REID ALBUM RELEASE, ASHLEIGH DAVIS June 19, Jack Rabbits LUKE WADE, BABY BEE, THE STATES June 20, Jack Rabbits OBLIVIOUS SIGNAL, RED CALLING, LAWLESS HEARTS, DEAR ABBEY June 20, Burro Bar Elvis 80th Birthday Celebration: BILL CHERRY, CODY SLAUGHTER June 20, Times-Union Center EMMA MOSELEY BAND June 20, Freebird Live THE DREAMING, DIE SO FLUID, DANCING WITH GHOSTS, KILO KAHN, INNER DEMONS June 21, 1904 Music Hall THE LOST PROJECT, SUNSPOTS, COMPLICATED ANIMALS,

STRONG GUYS June 21, Burro Bar SOUTHERN MISCONDUCT, STATUS FAUX, BACKWATER BIBLE SALESMEN June 21, Jack Rabbits SKYELOR ANDERSON June 23, Jack Rabbits JOHN DAHLBACK June 24, Freebird Live SURFER BLOOD, TURBO FRUITS June 25, Jack Rabbits OTTMAR LIEBERT & LUNA NEGRA June 26, P.V. Concert Hall PIERCE PETTIS June 26, Mudville Music Room HALEY MAE CAMPBELL, ELI THE POET June 26, Jack Rabbits NATURAL INSTINCTS June 26 & 27, The Roadhouse STYX June 26, The Florida Theatre FOR KING & COUNTRY June 27, Christ Church Southside MANNA ZEN, TRIBE & TRUTH, BLEEDING IN STEREO, DEAD DEADS June 27, Freebird Live DERAY DAVIS & EARTHQUAKE June 27, The Florida Theatre MICHAEL RENO HARRELL June 27, Mudville Music Room JULIANNE HOUGH & DEREK HOUGH June 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre RAVEN CLIFF, SNAKE BLOOD REMEDY June 27, Jack Rabbits BRYAN ADAMS June 28, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MIKE SHACKELFORD Acoustic Night June 28, Bull Park AURORA, THE HAIL BOP GROUP June 28, Jack Rabbits SAY ANYTHING, MODERN BASEBALL, CYMBALS EAT GUITARS, HARD GIRLS July 1, Underbelly DON McLEAN July 2, The Florida Theatre CHILLY RHINO July 3 & 4, The Roadhouse THE FRITZ July 4, Freebird Live THE CONVALESCENCE, BESIDE THE SILENCE, DENIED TIL DEATH July 5, Jack Rabbits Warped Tour: ALIVE LIKE ME, AS IT IS, BABY BABY, ARGENT, BEAUTIFUL BODIES, BEING AS AN OCEAN, BLACK BOOTS, BLACK VEIL BRIDES, BLESSTHEFALL, BORN CAGES, KOO KOO KANGA ROO, BOYMEETSWORLD, CANDY HEARTS, ESCAPE THE FATE, FAMILY FORCE 5, FIT FOR A KING, HANDGUNS, HANDS LIKE HOUSES, I KILLED THE PROM QUEEN, KOSHA DILLZ, LE CASTLE VANIA, LEE COREY OSWALD, M4SONIC, MATCHBOOK ROMANCE, NECK DEEP, NIGHT NIGHT RIOTS, PALISADES, SPLITBREED, THE RELAPSE SYMPHONY, TRANSIT, THE WONDER YEARS, TROPHY EYES, WHILE SHE SLEEPS, YOUTH IN REVOLT July 6, Morocco Shrine Auditorium R5: SOME TIME LAST NIGHT, JACOB WHITESIDES, RYLAND July 7, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts THE JAHMEN, SIGNAL FIRE, THE ELLAMENO BEAT July 8, Jack Rabbits BJ BARHAM (American Aquarium), BRETT BASS (Grandpa’s Cough Medicine) July 9, Jack Rabbits NEW KINGSTON, SUN DRIED VIBES, CLOUD 9 VIBES, DJ RAGGAMUFFIN July 10, Freebird Live ASKMEIFICARE July 10, The Roadhouse BARENAKED LADIES, VIOLENT FEMMES, COLIN HAY July 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre BETWEEN THE BURIED & ME, ANIMALS AS LEADERS, THE CONTORTIONISTS PLANETRAWK, INNER DEMONS July 11, Jack Rabbits SHANIA TWAIN July 15, Veterans Memorial Arena AMERICAN IDOL LIVE July 15, The Florida Theatre CHROME HEART July 17 & 18, The Roadhouse MODEST MOUSE July 17, St. Augustine Amphitheatre BRYCE ALASTAIR BAND, PIANO, TOM BENNETT BAND July 17, Jack Rabbits LEGIT July 17, Freebird Live

ROB BELL July 18, T-U Center STARBENDER July 18, Jack Rabbits PATO BANTON July 18, Freebird Live ROBERT EARL KEEN & HIS BAND July 19, P.V. Concert Hall E.N. YOUNG (The Tribal Seeds) July 21, Jack Rabbits SLIGHTLY STOOPID, DIRTY HEADS, STICK FIGURE July 23, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THE CRAZY DAYSIES July 24, Freebird Live PURE PRAIRIE LEAGUE, FIREFALL, ATLANTA RHYTHM SECTION July 25, The Florida Theatre UNKNOWN HINSON, RUSTY SHINE July 25, Jack Rabbits Connection Festival: 311, JULIAN MARLEY, MATISYAHU, BALLYHOO!, NEW YORK SKA-JAZZ ENSEMBLE, WHOLE WHEAT BREAD, STANK SAUCE, SKYWATER, JAH ELECT & THE I QUALITY BAND, CLOUD 9 VIBE, ASKMEIFICARE, HOLEY MISS MOLEY, YAMADEO, HERD OF WATTS, WESTER JOSEPH’S STEREO VUDU July 25, Metropolitan Park ROB THOMAS, PLAIN WHITE T’s July 25, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MIKE SHACKELFORD Acoustic Night July 26, Bull Park JAKE MILLER, JASMINE, ALEX ANGELO July 26, Freebird Live PLANES MISTAKEN FOR STARS, ZULU WAVE, DREDGER July 27, Shanghai Nobby’s FIFTH HARMONY, DEBBY RYAN & THE NEVER ENDING, NATALIE LA ROSE, BEA MILLER July 28, The Florida Theatre ROCKY VOTOLATO, DAVE HAUSE, CHRIS FARREN July 29, Jack Rabbits WHITESNAKE July 31, The Florida Theatre MEDAL MILITIA (Metallica tribute), SHOT DOWN IN FLAMES (AC/DC tribute), FOREVER OUR RIVALS July 31, Freebird Live MY MORNING JACKET, MINI MANSIONS Aug. 1, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THE STOLEN, AVENUES Aug. 1, Jack Rabbits COUNTING CROWS, CITIZEN COPE, HOLLIS BROWN Aug. 2, St. Augustine Amphitheatre AUTHORITY ZERO, COUNTERPUNCH, RUBEDO, ONE SMALL STEP Aug. 2, Jack Rabbits SCARAB (Journey tribute) Aug. 6, Freebird Live BHAGAVAN DAS Aug. 7-9, Karpeles Museum GENERAL TSO’S FURY, BRICKS GRENADE Aug. 7, Jack Rabbits SINBAD Aug. 7, The Florida Theatre Elvis Anniversary Bash: MIKE ALBERT, SCOT BRUCE & THE BIG E BAND Aug. 8, The Florida Theatre JOY BLOODY JOY, URSULA Aug. 8, Jack Rabbits CHRISTINA PERRI, COLBIE CAILLAT, RACHEL PLATTEN Aug. 11, The Florida Theatre UNIVERSAL SIGH Aug. 12, Jack Rabbits HippieFest 2015: THE FAMILY STONE, RICK DERRINGER, MITCH RYDER & THE DETROIT WHEELS, BADFINGER & JOEY MOLLAND Aug. 13, The Florida Theatre NO MORTAL BEFORE, PALM TREES & POWER LINES Aug. 14, Jack Rabbits HOR!ZEN Aug. 14, The Roadhouse THE ROCKY HORROR SHOW Aug. 14 & 15, 21 & 22, 1904 Music Hall DARYL HANCE, EUGENE SNOWDEN Aug. 14, Underbelly Women Who Rock Show: MAMA BLUE, KIM RETEGUIZ & THE BLACK CAT BONES, THE CAT McWILLIAMS BAND Aug. 15, Freebird Live SUBLIME WITH ROME, REBELUTION, PEPPER, MICKEY AVALON Aug. 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre “WEIRD AL” YANKOVIC Aug. 16, The Florida Theatre NASHVILLE PUSSY, VALIENT THORR Aug. 16, Jack Rabbits COMMUNITY CENTER Aug. 18, Jack Rabbits LYLE LOVETT & HIS LARGE BAND Aug. 20, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts TIM McGRAW, BILLY CURRINGTON, CHASE BRYANT Aug. 20, Veterans Memorial Arena Reunion: Campout Concert Series: STRATOSPHERE ALLSTARS, ZOOGMA, GREENHOUSE LOUNGE X2, DYNOHUNTER, SIR CHARLES, VLAD THE INHALER, MZG, S.P.O.R.E., BELLS AND ROBES, MATTHEW CONNOR Aug 21 & 22, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park LEISURE CRUISEAug. 24, Jack Rabbits DONOVAN FRANKENREITER Aug. 25, Freebird Live THE OUTLAWS, BLACKHAWK Aug. 28, The Florida Theatre TRIBAL SEEDS, THE EXPANDERS, ARISE ROOTS Aug. 28, Mavericks at The Landing STEVE FORBERT TRIO Aug. 29, Mudville Music Room MIKE SHACKELFORD Acoustic Night Aug. 30, Bull Park RICK SPRINGFIELD, LOVERBOY, THE ROMANTICS Aug. 30, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ALICE COOPER Sept. 1, The Florida Theatre NICKELBACK Sept. 1, Veterans Memorial Arena PONCHO SANCHEZ Sept. 5, The Ritz Theatre & Museum GWAR, BUTCHER BABIES, BATTLECROSS Sept. 9, Freebird Live DOYLE BRAMHALL II Sept. 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall RUNAWAY GIN (Phish tribute) Sept. 18, Freebird Live REO SPEEDWAGON Sept. 24, The Florida Theatre DELBERT McCLINTON Sept. 25, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BRITTANY SHANE Sept. 25, Mudville Music Room BOOKER T. JONES Oct. 3, The Ritz Theatre & Museum AMELIA ISLAND JAZZ FEST Oct. 8-15, Fernandina Beach ANI DiFRANCO Oct. 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall RANDY WESTON’S AFRICAN RHYTHMS Oct. 10, The Ritz Theatre & Museum BONZ (Stuck Mojo), A.M.M. Oct. 10, Jack Rabbits THE VIBRATORS Oct. 11, Jack Rabbits NEW FOUND GLORY, YELLOWCARD, TIGERS JAW Oct. 13, Mavericks THE WINERY DOGS Oct. 14, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall NOAH GUNDERSON Oct. 14, Colonial Quarter CHRIS TOMLIN, REND COLLECTIVE Oct. 16, Veterans Memorial Area

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC Country-fried rapper BIG SMO performs at Mavericks at The Landing on June 5.

SUZANNE VEGA Oct. 16, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE SENSES, THE PHILTERS Oct. 16, Jack Rabbits DEF LEPPARD, FOREIGNER, NIGHT RANGER Oct. 17, Veterans Memorial Arena LITTLE BIG TOWN Oct. 17, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THE CHARLIE DANIELS BAND Oct. 22, The Florida Theatre TAB BENOIT Oct. 22, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MARCIA BALL & HER BAND, AMY SPEACE Oct. 23, P.V. Concert Hall MARK KNOPFLER Oct. 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre PAUL REISER Nov. 7, The Florida Theatre ALL HANDS ON DECK Nov. 8, The Florida Theatre REVEREND PEYTON’S BIG DAMN BAND, BRYCE ALASTAIR BAND Nov. 8, Jack Rabbits ADRIAN LEGG, DAVID LINDLEY Nov. 12, P.V. Concert Hall AMERICA Nov. 13, Thrasher-Horne Center STRAIGHT NO CHASER Nov. 17, The Florida Theatre THE DIRTY DOZEN BRASS BAND, NEW BREED BRASS BAND Nov. 21, The Ritz Theatre & Museum RONNIE MILSAP Nov. 29, The Florida Theatre NICHOLAS PAYTON Dec. 5, The Ritz Theatre & Museum LOUDON WAINWRIGHT III Dec. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BRIAN REGAN Dec. 13, The Florida Theatre A JOHN WATERS CHRISTMAS Dec. 15, The Florida Theatre JOHN SEBASTIAN Jan. 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CHRISTIAN McBRIDE Jan. 16, The Ritz Theatre & Museum SUN RA ARKESTRA Feb. 20, The Ritz Theatre & Museum BLACK VIOLIN March 3, The Ritz Theatre & Museum ROGER McGUINN March 4, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall

BRASS ANCHOR PUB, 2292 Mayport Rd., Ste. 35, Atlantic Beach, 249-0301 Joe Oliff June 10 CASA MARINA HOTEL, 691 First St. N., 270-0025 Ryan Crary, Johnny Flood June 4 ESPETO Brazilian Steakhouse, 1396 Beach Blvd., 388-4884 Steve & Carlos 6 p.m. June 4 FLASK & CANNON, 528 First St. N. De Lions of Jah every Wed. FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 Chuck Nash Band 10 p.m. June 5 & 6. Cody Nix 8:30 p.m. June 7. Red Beard & Stinky E every Thur.

FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 Dropshot, Generator, Together in Exile, Young for a Day, F.I.L.T.H. June 5.

Tycho, Autograf June 11. Hysteria (Def Leppard tribute), Medal Militia June 12. Stone Bone June 13. Charli XCX June 15 HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815 Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. Dan Evans, Spade McQuade 6 p.m. every Sun. Back From the Brink 9 p.m. every Mon. LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., N.B., 249-2922 Dot Wilder 7 p.m. June 6. Live music every Fri. & Sat. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Ouija Brothers 10 p.m. June 5. Jonnie Morgan Band June 6. The Crazy Carls June 12. Dirty Pete Wed. Split Tone Thur. Ryan Crary, Johnny Flood Sun. Be Easy Mon. Ryan Campbell Tue. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., 246-1500 Live music every Wed.-Sat.

LIVE MUSIC CLUBS

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

DAVID’S Restaurant & Lounge, 802 Ash St., 310-6049 John Springer every Tue.-Wed. Aaron Bing 6 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. GREEN TURTLE TAVERN, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Buck Smith Thur. Yancy Clegg Sun. Vinyl Record Nite every Tue. SLIDERS, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652 Brett Foster 6 p.m. June 5. Live music every Wed.-Sun. SURF RESTAURANT, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores 9 p.m. every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. every Tue. & Thur. Indie dance 9 p.m. every Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance at 9 p.m. every Fri.

THE BEACHES

(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)

BILLY’S BOATHOUSE, 2321 Beach Blvd., 241-9771 Billy Bowers June 7. Live music every Wed.-Sun.

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LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC Psych rock duo ANCIENT RIVER perform at Burro Bar Downtown on June 10.

WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Live music every Fri. & Sat. DJ Throwback 8 p.m. every Thur. Deck music every Fri., Sat. & Sun.

INTRACOASTAL WEST

CLIFF’S Bar & Grill, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 Highway Jones 8 p.m. June 3. Love the Sin June 10. Live music every Fri. & Sat. JERRY’S Sports Grille, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Lucky Stiff June 5. Whiskey Richard June 6 YOUR PLACE, 13245 Atlantic Blvd., 221-9994 RadioLove 9 p.m. June 4

MANDARIN, JULINGTON

DAVE’S MUSIC BAR & GRILL, 9965 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 48, 575-4935 Scott Verville June 3. Blues Jam June 5. David Pigman, The Evicted June 6. Bonnie & Clyde every Tue. Open jam every Wed. Joe G & Friends every Thur.

HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-3040 Natural Instincts June 7. Scott Verville June 8.

Open jam Blues Monday 7 p.m. every Mon. SAUCY TACO, 450 S.R. 13, 287-8226 Stu Weaver 7 p.m.

June 6

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., N.B., 249-5573 Neil Dixon every Tue. Gypsies Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford & Steve Shanholtzer every Thur.

NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 372-4105 Live music every Thur.-Sat. OCEAN 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., A.B., 247-0060 Taylor Roberts 7 p.m. June 3, 4 & 5 RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 241-7877 Billy Bowers June 10 SLIDERS SEAFOOD GRILLE, 218 First St., N.B., 246-0881 Live music 6 p.m. every Thur., 6:30 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. WIPEOUTS GRILL, 1589 Atlantic Blvd., N.B., 247-4508 Larry Lemier 7 p.m. June 4. Jude Romano 9:30 p.m. June 5 WORLD OF BEER, 311 N. Third St., 372-9698 Live music every Fri. & Sat. ZETA BREWING COMPANY, 131 First Ave. N., 372-0727 Firewater Tent Revival June 5. Live music every Wed.-Sun.

DOWNTOWN

1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. The Funeral Portrait, Just Like Gentlemen, Foreveratlast, Personalities, Searching Serenity 7 p.m. June 4. Bryce Alastair, Brent Byrd June 6. I the Mighty, Hail the Sun, Too Close to Touch 6:30 p.m. June 10 BURRO BAR, 100 E. Adams St. Northern Faces June 5. The

Business June 6. Ancient River June 10. Live music every Fri. & Sat. DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 BlackJack every Wed. DJ Brandon every Thur. DJs spin dance music every Fri. DJ NickFresh Sat. DJ Randall 9 p.m. Mon. DJ Hollywood Tue. FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247 Spade McQuade 6-9 p.m. June 3 & 10. Jig to a Milestone 8 p.m.-mid.

June 6. Live music every Wed.-Sun. JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 El Conjunto Tropical 8 p.m.-1 a.m. June 5. 418 Band 4-9 p.m.

June 7 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay, 355-5099 DJ Roy Luis every Wed. DJ Vinn every Thur. DJ 007 every Fri. Bay Street every Sat. MAVERICKS, Jax Landing, 356-1110 Big SMO 6 p.m. June 5. Buckcherry, Within Reason 6 p.m. June 10. Joe Buck, DJ Justin every Thur.-Sat. UNDERBELLY, 113 E. Bay St., 699-8186 Master Radical, Moyamoya, Sunspots, DJ Sir Robin June 3. The Airstrikes, Ruffians June 5

FLEMING ISLAND

MERCURY MOON, 2015 Doctors Inlet Rd., 215-8999 Live music most weekends

CLUB RETRO, 1241 Blanding Blvd., 579-4731 ’70s & ’80s dance 8 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. DJ Capone every Wed. THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael plays piano every Tue.-Sat. PREVATT’S SPORTS BAR, 2620 Blanding Blvd., 282-1564 Live music every Sat. DJ Tammy 9 p.m. every Wed. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Whole Wheat Bread, Askmeificare 10 p.m. June 5. Rusty Shine 10 p.m. June 6. Boogie Freaks 10 p.m. June 12 & 13. Live rock music 10 p.m. every Wed. DJ Big Mike 10 p.m. every Thur.

Live rock every Fri. & Sat.

PONTE VEDRA

PUSSER’S GRILLE, 816 A1A N., 280-7766 Caleb Joye 6 p.m.

June 4. Live music every Fri. & Sat. TABLE 1, 330 A1A N., 280-5515 Paxton & Mike June 3. Gary Starling June 4. Chicos Lobos June 5. Caleb Joye June 6.

Deron Baker June 10

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

ACROSS THE STREET, 948 Edgewood Ave. S., 683-4182 The Offshore June 5. Erode, Primitive Hard Drive, H.S.O.A. June 6. Backwater Bible Salesmen open mic 8 p.m. every Mon. DJ Rafiki every Tue. MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., 388-7807 Ethan Parker Band 7:30 p.m. June 6. Strengthen What Remains, Neverender, Dwell, Landfill, Me & the Trinity 7 p.m.

June 11 RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969 Blueprint, DJ Rare Groove, Supastition, Tough Junkie, Steam Mechanics June 5.

Herd of Watts June 6. Oscar Mike June 10 RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 Meredith Rae, Katherine Archer, Nameless, Unsocialized, Brother Nature starting 10:30 a.m. June 6

ST. AUGUSTINE

BARLEY REPUBLIC, 48 Spanish St., 547-2023 Live local music every Thur.-Sun. THE CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 Brady Reich 2 p.m., The Committee 7 p.m. June 5. The Committee 7 p.m.

June 6. Vinny Jacobs 2 p.m. June 7 DOS COFFEE & WINE, 300 San Marco Ave., 342-2421 Jazz every Sun. MILL TOP TAVERN, 19 St. George St., 829-2329 Eryn Shewell 9 p.m. June 3. Denny Blue 5 p.m. June 6 PAULA’S BEACHSIDE GRILL, 6896 A1A S., Crescent Beach, 471-3463 Denny Blue open mic jam 6-9 p.m. June 3 & 10.

TRADEWINDS LOUNGE, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Blistur June 5 & 6. Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

INDOCHINE, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 503-7013 Dance Radio Underground, Sugar & Cream, Black Hoodie, Bass Therapy Sessions, Allan GIz-Roc Oteyza, TrapNasty, Cry Havoc, every Sat. JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 GBH, FFN, Total Chaos 8 p.m. June 3. Firekid June 4. The Space Time Travelers, Bonnie Blue, Oscar Mike, Jordan Gonzalez Band June 5. Twizted Psycho, Snore, The Happyfaced Mistakes, Minor Influence June 6. Nightmarefest: Sunz of Samm, Rizzin, Lil Roach, Cell, Mind Rapping Mutant, DJ Anon, Comatose Kidd, Alcatraz, Cash Mangy, Kaos, Orias 6 p.m. June 7.

Daniel & the Lion, The Hideouts, East China Sea, Paradime June 8. The Red Paintings, Heavy Flow, Braided Sun June 9.

Bodysnatcher, Hounds the Alaskan June 10 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Brenna Erickson, Jessie Carle Montoya 7:30 p.m. June 4.

Songwriting contest June 9. Seth Walker 7:30 p.m. June 11 THE PARLOUR, 2000 San Marco Blvd., 396-4455 Live music every Thur.-Sat.

SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS

BAHAMA BREEZE, 10205 River Coast Dr., 646-1031 Tropico Steel Drums June 3 CORNER BISTRO, 9823 Tapestry Park Cir., 619-1931 Matt Hall every Wed.-Sat. Steve Wheeler every Fri. LATITUDE 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 DJ Trdmrk 5 p.m., X-Hale 7 p.m. June 3. Be Easy 7:30 p.m., DJ Fellin 10:30 p.m. June 4. Darrel Rae 5 p.m., Who Rescued Who 8:30 p.m.

32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 3-9, 2015

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC

June 5. Samuel Sanders Duo 7 p.m., Split Tone 8:30 p.m., DJ Fellin 11:30 p.m. June 6. The Katz Downstairs, DJ Fellin June 7 MY PLACE BAR & GRILL, 9550 Baymeadows Rd., 737-5299 Fat Cactus every Mon. Live music 9 p.m. every night WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., 634-7208 DiCarlo Thompson June 5. T. Martin & the Troublemakers June 7.

Shayne Rammler Band June 10. Live music every Wed.-Sun. WILD WING CAFÉ, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Chris Brinkley June 3. Open mic June 4. Shotgun Redd June 5. The Gootch June 6. Live music every Fri. & Sat. WORLD OF BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 551-5929 Jim Seem June 3. Chilly Rhino June 4. Alex Guthrie June 5. Live music every Fri. & Sat.

Neo-folkie ALLEN STONE (pictured) performs with BRYNN ELLIOT at Colonial Quarter on June 7 in St. Augustine.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

SHANTYTOWN, 22 W. Sixth St., 798-8222 Live music every Fri. & Sat. THREE LAYERS COFFEEHOUSE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 RadioLove at 5 p.m. June 5. Open mic held every Thur.

GUIDANCE & GROOVE GREG ISABELLE IS A SPECIAL KIND of drummer. Well-educated and disciplined, he can play virtually anything, but rarely does.

He’s got chops, but rarely uses them. And he understands the flashy complexities of modern drumming, but plays with a maturity beyond his (now-advancing) years.

Greg and I have played drums in some of the same outfits over the years, though our styles differ greatly. He once subbed for me on a brief portion of a national tour I couldn’t make due to personal obligations. He was so well-prepared that I was secretly worried he was going to steal the gig. And once, during a double-drumming session with a local instrumental ensemble, he knocked me down a few notches when I was gumming up the works with too many fills (which is often my wont). While the music swirled around us, he simply looked me in the eye and mouthed, “Just groove.” It was humbling.

Now Greg sleeps in Hawaii, after many years of living and playing in Jacksonville, touring with Wes Borland’s bigDUMBface and hosting a few of his own recitals at the University of North Florida. (Wanna see him act like an idiot? Look up bigDUMBface’s official “Duke Lion” video.)

Following the publication of a column I wrote a few weeks back about my personal musical mentors, Greg was the first to respond with his own mentor story. It involved UNF percussion instructor and former Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra drummer and percussionist Charlotte Mabrey. Here Greg tells us why she had such an influence on him as a student, player and person.

THE KNIFE

THE KNIFE

Folio Weekly: Your mentor is Charlotte Mabrey. How did you first meet?

Greg Isabelle: While still in high school, I attended JSO concerts explicitly to observe Charlotte perform. My teacher while in high school at Douglas Anderson [School of the Arts] was Tom Haller. He would perform with the orchestra a couple times each season. Tom would encourage all his students to come catch the fireworks from the percussion section. Tom took me aside to ask me what I was going to do after graduation. I probably answered with something to the effect of: “I’m gonna rock!”

He redirected my fervor and encouraged me to practice some specifics in order to audition for Charlotte and UNF. When I was introduced again during my formal audition, I recall how she relaxed me by simply chatting with me about my life and interests before I played — she has that way about her.

How long did you study under her?

I required six years to get my four-year degree, I was gigging a lot during my college years and

occasionally lost steam on an academic as well as theory class. I also took a semester off to go on tour with bigDUMBface. Charlotte was always supportive of my drum set playing (she was my applied percussion teacher, which does not include drum set). She understood that it would be a great opportunity for me to go on a national tour with BDF. I had her blessing to go, with the stipulation that I would come back and finish my degree.

Charlotte has a real understanding of students at the undergraduate level of study.

She let all of us discover music that spoke to us, while ensuring we maintained a rigorous training schedule to have the skills necessary to become well-rounded percussionists. While I was out gigging and touring, I never lost sight of what I was working toward with Charlotte.

How did she help shape you as a person?

My family and friends know Charlotte and know how much she means to me. I’d never want to disappoint her by not being prepared for a lesson or rehearsal. Going forward, I would never want to disappoint her by not trying my best in life.

I decided to pursue my graduate degree many years after my undergrad degree at UNF. I had moved to L.A. to try my hand in that scene, then moved home again years later, got married, and was working as a construction superintendent.

Charlotte was the first person I confided in when I felt it was time for the next step in my musical life. Charlotte was instrumental in my getting into grad school at Georgia State University.

She polished off my rough edges, provided me with the appropriate repertoire and ensured my practice time on the instruments. Once again, she made sure I was prepared to meet the challenge.

She didn’t have to do that.

Do you still keep in touch with Charlotte?

Each time I come back to Jax, Char is on my list. It doesn’t always work out, but when I do get my afternoons with her, it’s like old times. I’m still inspired by her tenacity and perseverance in the face of change and hard knocks life can hand us all. She is as graceful in life as she is in her playing.

John E. Citrone theknife@folioweekly.com JUNE 3-9, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33

Maci Movsovitz, Dirah Collins, Lindsey Prather, Kevin Doody and Shelby Priester stand behind some of the Italian fare, craft beers, craft sodas and wines available at Trasca & Co. Eatery at Sawgrass in Ponte Vedra.

DINING DIRECTORY photo by Dennis Ho

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 3-9, 2015

29 SOUTH EATS, 29 S. Third St., 277-7919, 29south restaurant.com. F In historic downtown, Chef Scotty Schwartz serves traditional regional cuisine with a modern twist. $$ L Tue.-Sat.; D Mon.-Sat.; R Sun. BARBERITOS, 1519 Sadler Rd., 277-2505. 463867 S.R. 200, Ste. 5, Yulee, 321-2240, barberitos.com. F Southwestern fare; burritos, tacos, quesadillas, salsa. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BRETT’S Waterway Café, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality, upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB K L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com.

F Family-owned spot in historic building. Veggie burgers, seafood, made-from-scratch desserts. Dine in or on oakshaded patio. Karibrew Pub next door. $$ FB K TO R, Sun.; L D Daily CHEZ LEZAN Bakery Co., 1014 Atlantic Ave., 491-4663, chezlezanbakery.com. Fresh European-style breads, pastries: croissants, muffins, cakes, pies. $ TO B R L Daily CIAO Italian Bistro, 302 Centre St., 206-4311, ciaobistroluca.com. Owners Luka and Kim Misciasci offer fine dining: veal piccata, rigatoni Bolognese, antipasto. Specialties: chicken Ciao, homemade meat lasagna. $ L Fri., Sat.; D Nightly DAVID’S Restaurant & Lounge, 802 Ash St., 310-6049, amelia islanddavids.com. Fine dining in historic district. Fresh seafood, prime aged meats, rack of lamb. $$$$ FB D Wed.-Mon. DICK’S Wings & Grill, 474313 E. S.R. 200, 491-3469.

450077 S.R. 200, Callahan, 879-0993. BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA. ELIZABETH POINTE Lodge, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. F BOJ winner. Award-winning B&B. Seaside dining, inside or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily.

Homestyle soups, sandwiches, desserts. $$$ BW B L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianes cafe.com. F In renovated 1887 shotgun house. Jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, vegan/vegetarian items. Dine in or on porch. $$ FB K B L D Daily LULU’S at Thompson House, 11 S. 7th St., 432-8394, lulusamelia.com. F Po’boys, salads, local seafood, local shrimp. Reservations. $$$ BW K TO R Sun.; L D Tue.-Sat. MARCHÉ BURETTE, 6800 First Coast Hwy., 491-4834, omnihotels.com. Old-fashioned gourmet food market and deli, in the Spa & Shops, Omni Amelia Island Plantation. Continental breakfast; lunch features flatbreads. $$$ BW K TO L D Daily MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moon riverpizza.net. F BOJ winner. Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, by the pie or the slice. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE MUSTARD SEED CAFÉ, 833 TJ Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juice, herbal tea. $$ TO B L Mon.-Sat. THE PECAN ROLL Bakery, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815, the pecanrollbakery.com. F The bakery, near the historic district, offers sweet and savory pastries, cookies, cakes, bagels and breads, all made from scratch. $ K TO B L Wed.-Sun. THE PIG BAR-B-Q, 450102 S.R. 200, Callahan, 879-0101,

thepigbarbq.com. Bite Club. SEE SOUTHSIDE. PLAE, 80 Amelia Village Cir., 277-2132, plaefl.net. Bite Club. Bistro-style venue serves whole fried fish, duck breast.

Outside. $$$ FB L Tue.-Sat.; D Nightly THE SALTY PELICAN Bar & Grill, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F BOJ winner. 2nd-story outdoor bar. Owners T.J. and Al offer local seafood, Mayport shrimp, fish tacos, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F Oceanfront; handmade crab cakes, fresh seafood, fried pickles. Outdoor dining, open-air 2nd floor, balcony. $$ FB K L D Daily TASTY’S FRESH Burgers & Fries, 710 Centre St., 321-0409, tastysamelia.com. Historic district. Freshest meats, hand-cut fries, homemade sauces, hand-spun shakes. $ BW K L D Daily T-RAY’S Burger Station, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310.

F BOJ winner. In an old gas station; blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L Mon.-Sat. THE VERANDAH, 6800 First Coast Hwy., 321-5050, omni hotels.com. Extensive menu of fresh local seafood and steaks; signature entrée is Fernandina shrimp. Many herbs and spices are from onsite garden. $$$ FB K D Nightly

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

DICK’S Wings, 9119 Merrill Rd., 745-9300. BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA.

LARRY’S SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd., 724-5802. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

FLORIDA CREAMERY, 3566 St. Johns Ave., 619-5386.

Premium ice cream, waffle cones, milkshakes, sundaes and Nathan’s grilled hot dogs, served in a Florida-centric décor.

Low-fat and sugar-free choices. $ K TO L D Daily THE FOX Restaurant, 3580 St. Johns Ave., 387-2669. F Owners Ian & Mary Chase offer fresh diner fare: burgers, meatloaf, fried green tomatoes, desserts. Breakfast all day.

Local landmark for 50+ years. $$ BW K L D Daily HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned and operated for 20+ years, the American pub serves 1/2-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOJO NO. 4 Urban BBQ & Whiskey Bar, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. PINEGROVE Market & Deli, 1511 Pine Grove Ave., 389-8655, To get your restaurant listed here, just call your account manager or Sam Taylor at 904.260.9770 ext. 111 or staylor@folioweekly.com.

DINING DIRECTORY KEY

Average Entrée Cost $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted free FW Bite Club tasting. fwbiteclub.com.

2014 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot

pinegrovemarket.com. F BOJ. For 40+ years, burgers, Cuban sandwiches, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher cuts USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. $ BW TO B L D Mon.-Sat. RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurant orsay.com. BOJ winner. French/Southern bistro; emphasis on locally grown organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops. Snail of Approval. $$$ FB K R, Sun.; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simply saras.net. F Down-home fare, from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Mon.-Sat., B Sat.

BAYMEADOWS

AKEL’S Delicatessen, 7825 Baymeadows Way, 733-4040.

F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S Pizza, 8060 Philips, Ste. 105, 731-4300. F SEE BEACHES.

BROADWAY Ristorante & Pizzeria, 10920 Baymeadows Rd. E., 519-8000, broadwayfl.com. F Family-owned-&operated. Wings, calzones, brick-oven-baked pizza, subs. $$ BW K TO L D Daily INDIA’S Restaurant, 9802 Baymeadows., Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajax.com. F BOJ. Authentic cuisine, lunch buffet. A variety of curries, vegetable dishes, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L Mon.-Sat.; D Nightly LARRY’S, 3928 Baymeadows, 737-7740. 8616 Baymeadows, 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791. SEE MANDARIN. PATTAYA THAI Grille, 9551 Baymeadows, Ste. 1, 646-9506, ptgrille.com. Family-owned Thai place serves traditional fare, vegetarian, new-Thai; curries, seafood, noodles, soups. Lowsodium, gluten-free, too. $$$ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun. SAUSAGE PARADISE Deli & Bakery, 8602 Baymeadows Rd., 571-9817, spjax.com. F This innovative new spot offers a variety of European sausages, homestyle European dinners, smoked barbecue, stuffed cheeseburgers. $$ TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE WELL Watering Hole, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com. New bistro has local craft beers, wines by the glass or bottle, champagne cocktails.

Meatloaf sandwiches, pulled Peruvian chicken, homestyle vegan black bean burgers. $$ BW K TO D Tue.-Sat. WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows, Ste. 135, 634-7208, whiskeyjax.com. New gastropub has craft beers, burgers, handhelds, tacos, whiskey. $$ FB L D Sat. & Sun.; D Daily.

ZESTY INDIA, 8358 Point Meadows Dr., 329-3676, zesty india.com. Asian/European fare; tandoori lamb chops, rosemary tikka. Vegetarian cooked separately. $ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun.

BEACHES

(Locations are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002, alspizza.com. F New York-style, gourmet pizzas, baked dishes. All-day happy hour Mon.-Thur. $ FB K TO L D Daily ANGIE’S SUBS, 1436 Beach Blvd., 246-2519. ANGIE’S GROM, 204 Third Ave. S., 246-7823. F BOJ winner. Subs made with fresh ingredients for more than 25 years. One

DINING DIRECTORY word: Peruvian. Huge salads, blue-ribbon iced tea. $ BW TO L D Daily BEACHSIDE Seafood Restaurant & Market, 120 Third St. S., 444-8862, beachsideseafood.info. Full fresh seafood market; baskets, fish tacos, daily fish specials, Philly cheesesteaks. Dine indoors. on second-floor open-air deck. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BOLD BEAN Coffee Roasters, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201.

F BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. BREEZY Coffee Shop Café, 235 Eighth Ave. S., 241-2211, breezycoffeeshopcafe.com. Casual, familyowned. Fresh baked goods, espres sos, locally roasted Costa Rican organic/Breezy Bold coffees, vegan/glutenfree options. Sandwiches, local beer, wine, mimosas. $ BW K TO R L Daily BUDDHA THAI Bistro, 301 10th Ave. N., 712-4444, buddhathaibistro.com. Proprietors are from Thailand; every authentic dish is made with fresh ingredients. $$ FB TO L D Daily CANTINA MAYA Sports Bar & Grille, 1021 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-3227. F Popular spot serves margaritas, Latin food, burgers. Sports on TVs. $$ FB K L D Tue.-Sun. CULHANE’S Irish Pub, 967 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 2499595, culhanesirishpub.com. F Bite Club. Upscale pub owned and run by County Limerick sisters. Shepherd’s pie, corned beef; gastropub fare. $$ FB K R Sat. & Sun.; L Fri.-Sun.; D Tue.-Sun. ESPETO Brazilian Steakhouse, 1396 Beach Blvd., 388-4884, espetosteakhouse.com. Just relocated, serving beef, pork, lamb, chicken, sausage; full menu, bar fare, craft cocktails, Brazilian beers. $$ FB D Daily EUROPEAN STREET Café, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001. F BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. FLYING IGUANA Taqueria & Tequila Bar, 207 Atlantic Blvd., N.B., 853-5680 F Latin American, Southwest tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana sandwiches. 100+ tequilas. $ FB L D Daily HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815, harmoniousmonks.net. F SEE MANDARIN. LARRY’S, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE ORANGE PARK. LILLIE’S Coffee Bar, 200 First St., N.B., 249-2922, lilliescoffeebar.com. F Locally roasted coffee, eggs, bagels, flatbreads, sandwiches, desserts. Dine inside or out,

RAGTIME Tavern & Seafood Grill, 207 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F For 30+ years, iconic seafood place has served blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily happy hour. $$ FB L D Daily SALT LIFE Food Shack, 1018 Third St. N., 372-4456, saltlife foodshack.com. BOJ winner. Specialty items: signature tuna poke bowl, fresh rolled sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp, in modern open-air space. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SLIDERS Seafood Grille & Oyster Bar, 218 First St., N.B., 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille.com. Popular beachcasual spot. Faves: Fresh fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, ice cream sandwiches. $$ FB K L Sat. & Sun.; D Nightly SNEAKERS Sports Grille, 111 Beach Blvd., 482-1000, sneakerssportsgrille.com. BOJ winner. 20+ beers on tap, TVs, cheerleaders. Happy hour Mon.-Fri. $ FB K L D Daily SURFWICHES Sandwich Shop, 1537 Penman Rd., 241-6996, surfwiches.com. Craft sandwich shop has steaks and hoagies made to order. $ BW TO K L D Daily TACOLU BAJA MEXICANA, 1712 Beach Blvd., 249-8226, tacolu.com. BOJ winner. Fresh, Baja-style fare: fish tacos, tequila (more than 135 kinds) and mezcal. Bangin’ shrimp, carne asada, carnitas, daily fresh fish selections. Madefresh-daily guacamole. $$ FB K R Sat. & Sun.; L D Tue.-Fri.

DOWNTOWN

AKEL’S Delicatessen, 21 W. Church St., 665-7324, akelsdeli.com. F New York-style deli offers freshly made subs (3 Wise Guys, Champ), burgers, gyros, breakfast bowls, ranchero wrap, vegetarian dishes. $ K TO B L Mon.-Fri. THE CANDY APPLE Café & Cocktails, 400 N. Hogan St., 353-9717. Sandwiches, entrées, salads. $$ FB K L, Mon.; L D Tue.-Sun. CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282. F Chef Sam Hamidi has been serving genuine Italian fare for 35+ years: veal, seafood, gourmet pizza. The homemade salad dressing is a specialty. $ BW K L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. CHOMP CHOMP, 106 E. Adams St., 762-4667. F Chefinspired street food: panko-crusted chicken, burgers, chinois tacos, bahn mi and barbecue. $ L Tue.-Sat.; D Thur.-Sat. FIONN MacCOOL’S Irish Pub & Restaurant, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1547, fionnmacs.com. Casual dining with an uptown Irish atmosphere, serving fish and chips, Guinness lamb stew and black-and-tan brownies. $$ FB K L D Daily OLIO Market, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com.

GRILL ME!

MATT HUTCHERSON Another Broken Egg Café, 4820 Deerlake Dr. W., Southside BIRTHPLACE: Jacksonville

YEARS IN THE BIZ: 6

FAVORITE RESTAURANT: The Fish Company, Atlantic Beach BEST CUISINE STYLE: Cajun, sushi GO-TO INGREDIENTS: Anything that is seafood.

IDEAL MEAL: Shrimp and grits, steamed oysters WILL NOT CROSS MY LIPS: There is really not much.

INSIDER’S SECRET: Be adventurous; try new dishes.

CELEBRITY SIGHTING at Broken Egg: Gus Bradley, this morning.

CULINARY TREAT: Biscuit beignets and Southern Crabstack.

patio, courtyard. $$ BW TO B L D Daily THE LOVING CUP HASH HOUSE, 610 Third St. S., 422-0644. New place has locally sourced fare, locally roasted coffee, gluten-free, vegan, vegetarian, healthful dishes – no GMOs or hormones allowed. $ K TO B R L Tue.-Sun. MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com. F Bite Club.

BOJ winner. Hoagies, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers. Nonstop happy hour. $ FB K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1534 Third St. N., 853-6817. F BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., N.B., 249-5573, mezzarestaurantandbar.com. F Near-the-ocean spot, 20+ years. Casual bistro fare: gourmet wood-fired pizzas, nightly specials. Dine inside, on patio. $$$ FB K D Mon.-Sat. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ Pit, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636, mojobbq.com. F BOJ winner. Pulled pork, beef, chicken, Carolina-style barbecue, Delta fried catfi sh, sides. $$ FB K TO L D Daily M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 241-2599, mshack burgers.com. F BOJ winner. Burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes. $$ BW L D Daily NORTH BEACH Bistro, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, A.B., 372-4105, nbbistro.com. F Bite Club. Chef-driven kitchen; hand-cut steaks, fresh local seafood, tapas. Happy Hour. $$$ FB K R Sun.; L D Daily OCEAN 60 Wine Bar, Martini Room, 60 Ocean Blvd., A.B., 247-0060, ocean60.com. BOJ winner. Continental cuisine, fresh seafood, dinner specials, seasonal menu in a formal dining room or casual Martini Room. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. POE’S TAVERN, 363 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 241-7637.

Gastropub, 50+ beers, gourmet hamburgers, ground in-house, cooked to order; hand-cut French fries, fish tacos, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ FB K L D Daily

F From-scratch soups, sandwiches. Home to duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L Mon.-Fri. SWEET PETE’S, 1922 Pearl St., 376-7161. F All-natural sweet shop has candy made of all natural flavors, no artificial anything. Several kinds of honey. $ TO Daily ZODIAC Bar & Grill, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodiacbarandgrill.com. Mediterranean cuisine, American fare, paninis, vegetarian dishes. Daily lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. Happy hour Wed.-Sat. $ FB L Mon.-Fri.

FLEMING ISLAND

GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 1915 East-West Pkwy., 541-0009. F BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. F BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteysfishcamp.com. F Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly YOUR PIE, 1545 C.R. 220, Ste. 125, 379-9771, yourpie. com. F Owner Mike Sims’ idea: Choose from 3 doughs, 9 sauces, 7 cheeses, 40+ toppings. 5 minutes in a brick oven and ta-da: It’s your pie. Subs, sandwiches, gelato. $$ BW K TO L D Daily

INTRACOASTAL WEST

AL’S Pizza, 14286 Beach, Ste. 31, 223-0991. F SEE BEACHES.

APPLEBEE’S, 13201 Atlantic Blvd., 220-5823. SEE MANDARIN DICK’S, 14286 Beach Blvd., 223-0115. F BOJ winner.

JUNE 3-9, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35

DINING DIRECTORY RESTAURANT MEDURE, 818 A1A N., 543-3797, restaurantmedure.us. Chef David Medure offers global flavors. Small plates, creative drinks, happy hour. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat.

SEE PONTE VEDRA.

LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 10750 Atlantic, Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE ORANGE PARK. OCEANA DINER, 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 374-1915, oceanadiner.com. Traditional American diner fare served in a family atmosphere. $ K TO B L Daily TIME OUT Sports Grill, 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 223-6999, timeoutsportsgrill.com. F Locally-ownedand-operated. Hand-tossed pizzas, wings, wraps. Daily drink specials, HDTVs, pool tables. Late-nite menu. $$ FB L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly

RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE

13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies.com.

BOJ winner. Authentic Mediterranean peasant cuisine updated for American tastes; tapas, blackened octopus, risotto of the day, coconut mango curry chicken. $$ BW L D Tue.-Sat. AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 245 Riverside Ave., 791-3336.

F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., 388-8384. F SEE BEACHES. APPLEBEE’S, 8635 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 201, 771-0000.

6251 103rd St., 772-9020. 843 Lane Ave. S., 378-5445.

JULINGTON CREEK

DICK’S, 525 S.R. 16, Ste. 101, 825-4540. BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA.

METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO.

MANDARIN, NW ST. JOHNS

SEE MANDARIN.

BLACK SHEEP Restaurant, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, black sheep5points.com. New American with a Southern twist; locally sourced ingredients. Rooftop bar. $$$ FB R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily BOLD BEAN Coffee Roasters, 869 Stockton St., Stes. 1 & 2, 855-1181. BOJ winner. F Small-batch, artisanal coffee roasting. Organic, fair trade. $ BW TO B L Daily BREW FIVE POINTS, 1024 Park St., 714-3402, brewfive

AKEL’S Delicatessen, 12926 Gran Bay Pkwy. W., 880-2008. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F SEE BEACHES.

ORANGE PARK

ARON’S PIZZA, 650 Park Ave., 269-1007, aronspizza. com. F Family-owned restaurant has eggplant dishes, manicotti, New York-style pizzas. $$ BW K TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS, 1540 Wells Rd., 269-2122. BOJ winner.

SEE PONTE VEDRA.

THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club. com. Southern-style fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts.

Extensive bourbon selection. $$$ FB D Tue.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., 276-7370.

1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove Springs, 284-7789, larryssubs.com. F For 30-plus years, they’ve piled ’em high and served ’em fast. Hot/cold subs, soups. $ K TO B L D Daily THE PIG BAR-B-Q, 1330 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 170, 213-9744, thepigbarbq.com. Bite Club. SEE SOUTHSIDE. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611, roadhouseonline.net. F For 35-plus years, the rock & roll bar for locals has been serving wings, sandwiches, burgers, quesadillas; 75-plus imported beers. A large craft beer selection is also available. $ FB L D Daily SNACSHACK, 179 College Dr., Ste. 19, 682-7622, snacshack.menu. F The new bakery and café offers bagels, muffins, breads, cookies, brownies and snack treats. $$ K BW TO B, L & D Daily

PONTE VEDRA

AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A N., 543-1494. F SEE BEACHES. DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 100 Marketside Ave., 829-8134, dickswingsandgrill.com. F BOJ winner. NASCARthemed; 365 kinds of wings, 1/2-lb. burgers, ribs. $ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S SUBS, 830 A1A N., 273-3993. F SEE ORANGE PARK. PUSSER’S BAR & GRILLE, 816 A1A N., Ste. 100, 280-7766, pussersusa.com. F BOJ winner. Bite Club.

Caribbean cuisine, regional faves: Jamaican grilled pork ribs, Trinidad smoked duck, lobster macaroni & cheese dinner. Tropical drinks. $$ FB K TO L D Daily

36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 3-9, 2015

PONTE VEDRA.

EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 2753 Park St., 384-9999. BOJ winner. 130+ import beers, 20 on tap. NYC-style Reuben, sandwiches. Outside dining at some. $ BW K L D Daily GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. BOJ winner. F Juice bar; certified organic fruits, vegetables. 300+ craft/import beers, 50 wines, produce, humanely raised meats, deli, raw items, vegan, vitamins, herbs. Wraps, sandwiches. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS Asian Street Fare, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. BOJ winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls. $ BW TO L D Daily JOHNNY’S Deli & Grille, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055.

BITE-SIZED

photo by Caron Streibich

APPLEBEE’S, 14560 St. Augustine Rd., 262-7605, apple bees.com. Completely remodeled in the area – new look, new appetizers (half-price after 10 p.m.) Most are open until midnight or later. $$ FB K TO L D Daily ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199.

F Dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant). Greek beers. $$ BW L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. BROOKLYN PIZZA, 11406 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 288-9211. 13820 St. Augustine Rd., 880-0020. Brooklyn Special. Calzones, white pizza, homestyle lasagna. $$ BW TO L D Daily THE COFFEE BARD, 9735 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 13, 260-0810, thecoffeebard.com. New world coffeehouse has coffees, breakfast, drinks. $$ TO B L D Tue.-Sun. DICK’S WINGS, 10391 Old St. Augustine, 880-7087. F BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. GIGI’S RESTAURANT, 3130 Hartley Rd., 694-4300, jaxra mada.com. In Ramada. Prime rib, crab leg buffet Fri. & Sat., blue-jean brunch Sun., daily buffets. $$$ FB B R L D Daily HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 30, 880-3040, harmoniousmonks.net. F American steakhouse: Angus steaks, burgers, ribs, wraps. $$ FB K L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 11365 San Jose Blvd., 674-2945.

F SEE ORANGE PARK. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. F Organic soups, sandwiches, wraps, baked goods, prepared foods.

Juice, smoothie and coffee bar. All-natural, organic beers, wines. Indoor, outdoor dining. $ BW TO K B L D Daily THE PIG Bar-B-Q, 14985 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 108, 374-0393, thepigbarbq.com. Bite Club. SEE SOUTHSIDE. WHOLE FOODS Market, 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 22, 288-1100, wholefoodsmarket.com. F Expansive prepared-food department with 80+ items, full-service/ self-service hot bar, salad bar, soup bar, dessert bar, pizza, sushi, sandwich stations. $$ BW TO L D Daily

points.com. F Local craft beer, espresso, coffee and wine bar. Rotating drafts, 75+ canned craft beers; sodas, tea.

Rotating seasonal menu of waffles, pastries, toasts, desserts to pair with specialty coffees, craft beers. $$ BW K B L Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco.com.

Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free, vegetarian options. $ BW L D Daily.

DERBY ON PARK, 1068 Park St., 379-3343. New American cuisine, upscale retro atmosphere in historic landmark building. Shrimp & grits, lobster bites, 10-oz. gourmet burger. Dine inside or out. $$ FB TO Weekend brunch. B, L D Tue.-Sun. DICK’S, 5972 San Juan Ave., 693-9258. BOJ winner. SEE

SOMETHING SUPER IS BREWING DOWNTOWN

Food truck turned brick-and-mortar place packs a flavor punch

BITE SIZED

ginger. The whole thing is sprinkled with black WHAT BEGAN JUST A FEW YEARS BACK as a sesame seeds and served with soy sauce. food truck, Super Food & Brew has outgrown its Also impressive was the lobster salad ($10) set of wheels and opened a permanent brick– a bed of mixed greens topped with a copious and-mortar location downtown on the bustling amount of lobster, slivers of celery, and avocado corner of Main and Forsyth streets. slices. The accompanying lemon wedge and The space, once a Starbucks, received a lemon vinaigrette were a nice complement to major facelift and now reflects the modern the lobster, and I found it much lighter than a optimism that permeates throughout a traditional mayonnaise-based preparation. downtown driven by a new class of young We ordered a side of mac-and-cheese balls entrepreneurs. Natural light streams in from large exterior windows illuminating an open bar. ($3.50), a favorite from when we frequented the food truck. Two perfectly golden colossal Hanging from the mint-hued walls, oversized orbs of fried orzo and cheese rolls of brown butcher paper with a creamy dipping display carefully handwritten SUPER FOOD & BREW arrived sauce. These pair happily with daily offerings – pork belly 11 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, a draft craft beer ($3 all day). sandwich ($8), soy miso bowl jaxsuperfoodtruck.com, On offer are three local brews ($9), turkey pesto panini ($8), 610-207-5993 and three from outside Jax, so caprese panini ($7), a ham, I ordered a pint of Nonchalant Havarti, prosciutto and gruyère IPA from nearby San Marco’s Aardwolf Brewing pretzelwich ($7), salmon BLT ($9), turkey Company. There’s also an assortment of canned Sloppy Joe ($7). and bottled beers, wine by the glass and a full I was drawn to the tuna poke bowl ($10) coffee line-up (Super Food opens at 8 a.m.) – because finding one of these Downtown, or even Americano, double espresso, mocha, café breve, in the surrounding areas, is a nearly impossible caramel macchiato. task. Super Food’s version has chunks of fresh I’m eager to return and work my way down ahi tuna, fluffy white rice, protein-packed slightly the literally super-sized menu. sweet edamame (a super food – how Super Food Truck originally got its name), shredded Caron Streibich carrots and crunchy red cabbage, paired with a biteclub@folioweekly.com tangy seaweed salad, fiery wasabi and pickled facebook.com/folioweeklybitesized

DINING DIRECTORY SEE PONTE VEDRA. F Casual spot; sandwiches, classic salads, homefries. One EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 1704 San Marco Blvd., word: Reuben. $ TO B L Daily 398-9500. BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. $ BW K L D Daily KNEAD BAKESHOP, 1173 Edgewood Ave. S. Locally-owned, FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, family-run; made-from-scratch pastries, artisan breads, pies, fusionsushijax.com. F Upscale sushi spot serves a specialty sandwiches, soups. $ TO B L Tue.-Sun. variety of fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794.

K L D Daily 7895 Normandy Blvd., 781-7600. 8102 Blanding Blvd., THE GROTTO Wine & Tapas Bar, 2012 San Marco 779-1933. F SEE ORANGE PARK. Blvd., 398-0726. F Artisanal cheese plates, empanadas, METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F BOJ bruschetta, cheesecake. 60+ wines by the glass. $$$ BW winner. SEE SAN MARCO. Tue.-Sun. MONROE’S Smokehouse Bar-B-Q, 4838 Highway Ave., HAMBURGER MARY’S Bar & Grille, 3333 Beach Blvd., 389-5551, monroessmokehousebbq.com. Wings, pulled Ste. 1, 551-2048, hamburgermarys.com. F Wings, pork, brisket, turkey, chicken, ribs. Sides: beans, baked sammies, nachos, entrées, specialty drinks, burgers. $$ K beans, mac-n-cheese, collards. $$ K TO L Mon.-Sat.; D Fri. TO FB L D Daily MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442.

KITCHEN ON SAN MARCO, 1402 San Marco Blvd., F BOJ winner. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com. New gastropub MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434, mossfire. has local and national craft beers, specialty cocktails com. F Southwestern fish tacos, enchiladas. Happy hour and a seasonal menu focusing on fresh, locally sourced Mon.-Sat. upstairs lounge, all day Sun. $$ FB K L D Daily ingredients and cuisine. Now serving Sunday brunch.

O’BROTHERS Irish Pub, 1521 Margaret St., 854-9300, Answerspie to each $$ FB clues L D Daily obrothersirishpub.com. F Traditional shepherd’s withpair of asterisked have something common Bar (by & Grill, 2016 Hendricks Ave., 683-0693, Stilton crust, Guinness mac-n-cheese, fish-n-chips.

Patio obvious in MEZZE “obvious” I mean “in plain sight”).

Keep mezzejax.com.

Classic cocktails, fresh basil martinis, dining. $$ FB K TO L D Daily “people traveling incognito” in mind. I’ll 35 draft beers, local/craft brews, Mediterranean cuisine.

THE PIG BAR-B-Q, 5456 Normandy Blvd., 783-1606, explain next week.

Hookah patio. Happy hour. $$ FB D Daily thepigbarbq.com. Bite Club. SEE SOUTHSIDE. MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922, matthews RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969. Bar food. $ D restaurant.com. Chef Matthew Medure’s flagship. Fine SILVER COW, 1506 King St., 379-6968, silvercowjax. dining, artfully presented cuisine, small plates, martini/ com. Laid-back, cozy, subdued spot serves craft beers, wine lists. Happy hour Mon.-Fri. Reservations. $$$$ FB D wines. The full menu is ever-expanding. $$ BW L D Daily.

Mon.-Sat. SILVER COW ANNEX, 1508 King St., 379-6968, METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, annexjax.com. Adjacent to Silver Cow; serves craft beers, metrodiner.com. F BOJ winner. Original upscale diner. wines. Bigscreen TVs, games. Chorizo tacos, burgers. $$ Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. $$ B R L Daily BW D Daily.

MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200.

SOUTHERN ROOTS Filling Station, 1275 King St., F BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. Healthy, light vegan PIZZA PALACE, 1959 San Marco Ave., 399-8815, fare made fresh daily with local, organic ingredients. pizzapalacejax.com. F Family-owned; homestyle faves: Specials, served on bread, local greens or rice, change spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, lasagna. Outside daily. Coffees, teas. $ Tue.-Sun. dining. $$ BW K TO L D Daily SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside, Ste. 204, 384-2888, TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Ave., 398-3005, taverna sushicafejacksonville.com. F Sushi variety: Monster Roll, sanmarco.com. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; local Jimmy Smith Roll; faves Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll. Hibachi, produce, meats. Craft beers, handcrafted cocktails. $$$ tempura, katsu, teriyaki. Indoor or patio. $$ BW L D Daily FB K TO R L D Daily

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F SEE BEACHES. APPLEBEE’S, 225 S.R. 312, 825-4099. SEE MANDARIN. AVILES, 32 Avenida Menendez, 829-2277 F Inside Hilton Inn Bayfront. Progressive European menu; made-to-order pasta night, wine dinners, chophouse nights, breakfast buffet. Sun. champagne brunch, bottomless mimosas. $$$ FB K B L D Daily BARLEY REPUBLIC, 48 Spanish St., 547-2023, barley republicph.com. Old City’s only Irish gastropub in historic area has fish & chips, shepherd’s pie, lambburger, craft beers and spirits. $$ FB K TO L D Daily CANDLELIGHT SOUTH, 1 Anastasia Blvd., 819-0588.

Casual spot offers fish tacos, sandwiches, wings, desserts, sangria, daily specials. $ BW K TO L D Daily THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655, thefloridian staug.com. Updated Southern fare, fresh ingredients.

Vegetarian, gluten-free. Fried green tomatobruschetta, grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D Wed.-Mon. GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F Local mainstay for more than 25 years.

The varied menu changes twice daily. Signature dish: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. Sun. brunch. $$ FB R Sun.; L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040.

F Bite Club. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. METRO DINER, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323.

F BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova, 342-5264. F BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. SALT LIFE Food Shack, 321 A1A Beach Blvd., 217-3256, saltlifefoodshack.com. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER

APPLEBEE’S, 4507 Town Center Pkwy., 645-3590. SEE MANDARIN.

BRIO TUSCAN GRILLE, 4910 Big Island Dr., 807-9960.

Upscale Northern Italian fare, wood-grilled and oven-roasted steaks, chops, seafood. Dine indoors or al fresco on the terrace. $$$ FB K TO R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily M SHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000, mshack burgers.com. F BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr., 900-7730, ovinte. com. European-style dining influenced by Italy, Spain and the Mediterranean. Small plates, entrée-size portions, selections from the cheese a charcuterie menu. $$$ BW TO R D Daily

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

BASIL THAI & BAR, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190, basilthaijax.com. F Authentic Thai dishes include Pad Thai, a variety of curries, tempuras, vegetarian dishes, seafood, stir-fry and daily specials. $$ FB L D Mon.-Sat. BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox. com. F Mediterranean and French inspired cuisine includes steak frites, oak-fired pizza and a new raw bar with seasonal selections. $$$ FB TO L D Daily DICK’S, 1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110. BOJ winner.

SOUTHSIDE, TINSELTOWN

360° GRILLE, LATITUDE 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555, latitude360.com. F Popular place serves seafood, steaks, burgers, chicken, sandwiches, pizza. Patio, movie theater. $$ FB TO L D Daily AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 7077 Bonneval Rd., 332-8700. F SEE DOWNTOWN.

ALHAMBRA Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. USA’s longest-running dinner theater; Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus. Reservations. $$ FB D Tue.-Sun. APPLEBEE’S, 5055 JTB Blvd., 296-6895. SEE MANDARIN. BARBERITOS, 4320 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., Ste. 106, 807-9060. F SEE AMELIA ISLAND. DANCIN DRAGON, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138D, 363-9888. BOGO lunches, Asian fusion menu. $$ FB K L D Daily DICK’S WINGS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 619-0954. BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. THE DIM SUM ROOM, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138D, 363-9888, thedimsumroom.com. Shrimp dumplings, beef tripe, sesame ball. Traditional Hong Kong noodles, barbecue. $ FB K L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717.

BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE

FOLIO WEEKLY PUZZLER by MERL REAGLE. Presented by

SAN MARCO 2044 SAN MARCO BLVD. 398-9741

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

HOLA Mexican Restaurant, 1001 N. Main St., 356-3100, holamexicanrestaurant.com. F Fajitas, burritos, enchiladas, daily specials. Happy hour; sangria. $ BW K TO L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999. SEE O.PARK. THE PIG BAR-B-Q, 9760 Lem Turner Rd., 765-4336, thepigbarbq.com. Bite Club. SEE SOUTHSIDE.

77 79 81 83 85 86 88

122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129

44 47 48 50 51 52 56 58 59 61 62

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

PC support pro Free, as a bra Household grippers Univ. helpers Subj. with projects Trojan War hero Checked out Hairy sitcom cousin Devil or Angel singer Clinker Natural to a region Some males with tails Kicker’s prop Fridge Singer-actress Lola

65 67 69 70 74 75 76 1

89 92 93 94

ACROSS

Owl-ear features Still in the game CPR pro “Weather permitting,” etc.

Intertwine Yankee retiree of 2014 Craving Small, low island A = B = AB (pursuing) Trois, across the border Trains to Wrigley On a roll “how r u,” e.g.

City on I-15 Sponge gently See 82 Down Commit ___ Pilotless hoverer Arboreal Aussie Moses author Sholem A = B = AB (student’s concern) A = B = AB (performer) AL team, on scoreboards Rockhound’s find ___ guitar Punch-in-the-gut grunt Trattoria dish Salt’s hip-hop partner Poetic puncher Poetic weather Cornerstone Equipped for grabbing, as an eagle Okinawa’s capital Spock colleague Beatrix in Kill Bill A = B = AB (doubter’s query) AL team, on scoreboards Shed tears A Friends friend 2

3

4

97 101 102 104 105 107 108 109 110 112 114 115 117

5

17

18

7

8

9

71 Fitting 72 Jimmy Buffett song, “Can’t Remember When ___ Last” 73 Decoding org.

74 Tai ___ 78 Like some kisses 80 W.C. in The Bank Dick 82 With 33 Across, slot’s old nickname 84 Mystique 87 Hour, in Italy 90 Dame Edna’s last name 91 Orson’s second wife 94 Cut off 95 Flattens 96 Enormous stretch 97 Volcanic rock 98 Maine national park 99 Melt down, as fat 100 Noh alternative 103 Seamy 106 City S of Luxor 107 Recycling ___ 110 IOU 111 Chart-toppers 113 Stops stalling 116 Tennis tactic 118 Bowl over 119 Dated 120 Bonus spot, in Scrabble: abbr.

121 Goo that’s struck Solution to See You Sooner or Later (5/27/15)

16 Gambler’s strategy 18 Competitor 21 A = B = AB (anything at all) 24 Little treasure 30 Classic Jules Dassin heist film of 1955 32 Intro to “sure?” or “serious?”

34 Have the special, e.g.

35 “Tis a pity” 36 Duke U’s conference 37 A = B = AB (toy) 40 Jean who wrote The Clan of the Cave Bear 41 Bone brace 43 Singer DiFranco 45 Jerry Garcia fan 46 Grinders 48 Decide 49 Divide differently 52 Like most bottles 53 End zone celebration 54 Short break 55 ___ mission 57 Perfectly fine 60 Popular ISP 63 A = B = AB (recent arrival) 64 Pronoun in a rebus 66 Many a ski house 68 Paper size: abbr.

I R M A R O A R A C U M R O M E R T E E W I N D A N S A N D E C B E N E A B O A M I S C T J E B O V A L C A B A A S Y O S I S S T O A A N T

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19

34

35

36 40

44

62 70

79

81 87

93 98

104

105

108

109

83

88

89

69 73 78

84

85 90

91

95

92 96

101

102

106

103

107 110 111

115 116

117 118 119

122

123

124 127

68

77

114

126

128

55

61

67

82

100

54

R D A

32

53

60

66

94

99

16

R U B

43

76

80

86

31

72

75

15

N T H

22

52

71

74

14

D E S K S E T

47

59 65

F N E O O L R A T E U S A C M O L T F O R H T A O D R I Z O E G E N B A T C H A D N O E L M E V E Y O D A S O O N M A C U S T E T O A S R T

26

46

64

E X E C

S P U S O L O R U M R M A N E N A R U P S O L S U L U S L E D I A N D M A C T E A R L E R I F E C A C H E

21

42

58 63

R E A A D N D I L A A T H U B E A T A K I L D E S A

13

30

51

57

A P L U E R S O U W E E

38

41

50

56

12

37

45

49

S C T O I C A L C L A N D E S G R E T A T K E G E

S C H E R Z I

25 29

39

L U I G I

S A E L R O T N O Y G O M C U T A N A L O A A T C U T E S N S C

20

28 33

M E A B E N B T C C U R S U S O R E A S A N C D I C R D U E E I L T D Y E

11

24

27

97

DOWN

6

23

48

AVONDALE 3617 ST. JOHNS AVE. 10300 SOUTHSIDE BLVD. 388-5406 394-1390 AVENUES MALL

Gallery event Biblical peak Up “Chocolate” dog Together, in music Field goal remark Airline’s parent-co. name, formerly Swiss calculus pioneer Polo Grounds great “Turn on the heat!”

A = B = AB (theater event) A = B = AB (streaking, e.g.)

Tiny bit Short jackets Sharp, to poets Rails and kites Oscar snubber Holiday flier Gets in a pool, e.g.

Fast-growing “pet” Coach Parseghian Go on to say Fuzzy image A = B = AB (government setting) Arnie’s position Farm team fitting Look forward to Provoke (a response) Seagoing sort Try for a contract Mudpuppies’ kin Goes downhill fast

Nine years ago I made a puzzle about an unusual subset of words and phrases whose parts have the same meaning as the whole, like “taxi,” “cab” and “taxicab,” which are used interchangeably. I called them “trinonyms;” I thought the first puzzle exhausted the list. Well, no.

But this one should do it.

1 6 11 14 17 19 20 22 23 25 26 27 28 29 31 33 36 38 39 40 42

SOUTHSIDE

OVERSET

330 A1A NORTH 280-1202

Trinonyms 2

ORANGE PARK.

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955. F Bite Club. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BAR B-Q, 10771 Beach Blvd., 996-7900, monroessmokehousebbq.com. SEE RIVERSIDE. THE PIG BAR-B-Q, 11925 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 619-0321, thepigbarbq.com. Bite Club. Popular fourth-generation barbecue place, family-owned for 60+ years. The signature item is mustard-based “pig sauce.” $ BW K TO B, L D Daily TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Ct., 854-0426, tavernayamas.com. F Bite Club. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, wines, desserts. Belly dancing. $$ FB K L D Daily TOMMY’S BRICK OVEN PIZZA, 4160 Southside Blvd., Ste. 2, 565-1999, tbopizza.com. F New York-style thin crust, brick-oven-baked pizzas (gluten-free), calzones, sandwiches. Boylan’s soda. Curbside pick-up. $$ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE VISCONDE’S Argentinian Grill, 11925 Beach Blvd., Ste. 201, 379-3925. The area’s only Argentinian place.

Traditional steaks, varieties of sausages, pasta, sandwiches, empañadas, wines. $$$ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun.

PONTE VEDRA

THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA

112

113

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JUNE 3-9, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37

FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

VIDEO ARCADE, SUBWAY PUSHERS, NEILS BOHR & WAGNER

HELLO, YOUNG LOVERS (aka ISU writers)!

The limit for ISU notices is 40 words ONLY. No messages with more than

40 words will be accepted. Please keep your message short & sweet. Thanks!

TAG YOU’RE IT Me: Brunette, maroon Jeep. You: Smokin’ hottie in the white Nissan truck. Playing cat and mouse over the Intracoastal.

Catch me if you can ;). When: May 30. Where: Beach Boulevard Bridge. #1524-0603 SEXY BLONDE, BOSTON CONCERT You: Very sexy, Sect. 101, Row I, with cute friend, “dates.”

We took selfies together; chemistry unmistakable. Me: Sect.

101, Row K; mature gent; a lot more fun than your date.

Sealed with a kiss. When: May 24. Where: St. Augustine Amphitheatre. #1523-0603

sweater, Armada scarf, temp cheek tattoo. Me: Dark hair, glasses, full sleeves. You behind me, half-time refreshment line. We smiled in section 141 top. Let’s sit side-by-side.

When: March 28. Where: EverBank Field. #1513-0401 HAITIAN GENTLEMAN IN PINK Mr. I make airplanes crank for a living. Ms. Blonde alone on corner reading Folio Weekly ISU impatiently waiting; meanwhile collecting the worst pick-up lines. White boy was smooth; you, however, have my attention. When: March 28. Where: Outside De Real Ting. #1512-0401

COMPARIN’ TATTOOS AT DUNKIN’ DONUTS? Me: Too shy to talk further; noticed your foot tattoo; complimented it. You: Petite, cute in adorable summer dress! Mentioning tat, seeing that smile made my day!

Wanna stay, chat a bit? When: May 26. Where: Dunkin’ Donuts, U.S. 1 & JTB. #1522-0603

BEST ASS I’VE SEEN You: Sweaty, dark hair, petite, beautiful Asian lifting heavy (humping weights? Never seen that workout), engrossed in weights and convos with gym regulars. Sorry, couldn’t stop staring. Let’s train together. Whatever you’re doing is working. When: March 16. Where: LA Fitness Atlantic Beach. #1511-0325

I CAN’T WEIGHT Me: Tall, blonde and flirtatious. You: Handsome and muscular. You were working on your fitness and I was your witness. Maybe we should get sweaty together? ;) When: April 20. Where: Retro Fitness. #1521-0527

0% IRISH, 100% DRUNK You: Orange sack pack and white sleeveless shirt. Me: White collared shirt and green tie. Didn’t expect to have a dance partner. Will you shake it off with me again? When: March 17.

Where: Brix Taphouse. #1510-0325

UNFORGETTABLE I pay great attention to small things, I feel so blessed that you were in my presences. Did you come back just to see me? I hope so, ’cause I love seeing you. In any color white, blue, coral … When: May 11. Where: Parked. #1520-0520

LITTLE DRUMMER BOY You: Black, bald, beautiful. Me: Hungry and watching. I was behind you in line while you pretended to play drums like Lars Ulrich. Can I play with your drumstick? When: March 6.

Where: Taco Bell @ Hodges. #1509-0311

VOTE FOR ME You: Widespread Panic shirt. You said you may actually vote Republican if Billary gets nomination. Wanted to speak more, but you had to get home to dogs and pet pigeon.

Let’s get naughty in voting booth! ;). When: May 7. Where: McDonald’s. #1519-0513

FREEBIRD EXPENDABLES SHOW On 2/25. We talked at very end by merchant stand. Short convo; said you’re finishing teaching degree. You: Very cute brunette, awesome smile. Would like to see you again!

When: Feb. 25. Where: Freebird Live. #1508-0304

VILANO PUBLIX; PULLED GROIN MUSCLE! Produce/dairy around 8 a.m. You live St. Augustine, injured groin surfing Puerto Rico. Left, came back; so flustered talking you forgot eggs. You: PT, work, fishing, watch fi ght.

Me: to beach. Should’ve given my number! When: May 2.

Where: Vilano Beach Publix. #1518-0506

GIRL WITH THE SCAR On face, eye to forehead. ISU at gay bar, long ago; wanted to know you. My heart skipped a beat. You were and still are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen; always cross my mind. When: April 2014. Where: The bar. #1507-0304

MR. MATRIX You: Dorky in a really sexy way. Me: Drew Barrymore look-alike. Stopped at your booth and heard you say you originally came up with the idea for “The Matrix.” You can give me your red or blue pill anytime, stud! When: April 10.

Where: One Spark. #1517-0415

NICE TO MEET You: Tall, handsome, broken wrist. Me: Cute, athletic, long sandy hair. Helped me sign out paddleboard; said nice to meet. Maybe you caught my name; don’t know yours. Meet 11 a.m. Feb. 13 at the lake. When: Jan. 31.

Where: UNF Lake Oneida. #1506-0211

JUICE BAR BABE You: Incredibly cute girl working juice bar. Braided blonde hair, nose ring. Your favorite is Pineapple Julius. Me: Suave, long-haired Adonis, right arm tattoo, sees you from afar, often there. Let’s meet, talk about more you like. When: April 3. Where: Baymeadows Native Sun. #1516-0408 ENDLESS LOVE You: Handsome, buff, bald man, best smile, driving ivory Cadillac. Me: Short, long hair, blue-eyed girl who works your conversions; my heart melts when I see you. Let’s meet so I can convert you over to a real woman! When: March 4.

Where: Baymeadows business. #1515-0408 SMILE’S FOREVER, HOWEVER Bumped into me, Underbelly’s bar, Art Walk. Dark hair, brilliant smile. Taking hygienist work home with you? Talked about smiles, other thing. I’ll make other thing last. You left with friends; didn’t get number. Let’s make smiles! When: April 1. Where: Underbelly. #1514-0408 BEAUTIFUL SOCCER HOOLIGAN You: Blonde, glasses, ripped rolled-up jeans, yellow

38 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 3-9, 2015

I SAW U Connection Made!

I SAW U Connection Made!

ASIAN GODDESS SNAP FITNESS Me: Purposefully stretching longer, safe creeping distance. You: Gleaming from sweat, holding handstand a respectable amount of time! Took off shoes, socks; caught me watching. Kept gaze. You smiled, continued poses. Left before drool commenced. When: Jan. 20.

Where: Snap Fitness. #1505-0204

HOTTIE IN HAMMOCK You: Tall, leggy, brunette, great skin, rocking in hammock at pool. Me: Scotch-loving bald guy who still loves a Fierce Polish Viking. Hoping you’ll rock me tonight like your body rocks in that hammock. When: Jan. 28. Where: Beside the pool. #1504-0128 HOT COFFEE MAN You: tall, dark hair, with Starbucks. Me: tall, yellow shirt.

ISU at Starbucks 20 minutes before; again in garage stairs.

Held door for me, I smiled, thanked you. Remember me?

When: Jan. 22. Baptist Medical Ctr. Garage. #1503-0128

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Persian scholar Avicenna was so well-rounded, he wrote two encyclopedias. Even as a teenager, he was obsessed with learning all he could. He got especially consumed with trying to master Aristotle’s Metaphysics, which did not easily yield its secrets to him. He read it 40 times, memorizing every word.

When he finally understood it, he was so excited he celebrated by giving out money and gifts to destitute strangers. You’ll soon have a similar breakthrough; you’ll grasp a truth that’s eluded you a long time.

Congratulations in advance!

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): People I meet are sometimes taken aback by my probing questions. Recently an acquaintance asked me, “Why don’t you feel driven to talk about yourself all the time, like everyone else?” I told him the truth: “Being curious is just the way I was made. Maybe it’s because of my Mercury in Gemini, or my seventhhouse sun, or my three planets in Libra.” You’re due to go through a similar phase. If it doesn’t happen naturally, coax it. Be extra inquisitive. You benefit from digging as deeply as you dare. The more information you uncover, the better your decisions are.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): When it’s rush hour in Tokyo, unwieldy crowds of commuters board trains and subways. They often need help squeezing in. Railway workers known as oshiya, or pushers, provide the necessary force. Wearing crisp uniforms, white gloves, and neat hats, they cram stragglers into each car. I foresee a chance you’ll be called on to perform a metaphorical version of that kind of service. Is there a polite, respectful way for you to be indelicate in a worthy cause? Could you bring light-hearted tact to bear as you seek an outcome to encourage compromise?

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): I love to watch an evolved Scorpio get his or her needs met by helping others meet their needs. It’s thrilling to behold paradoxical Scorpio assets in action: a combination of manipulativeness and generosity; animal magnetism working in service to the greater good; the resourceful willpower that carries out hidden agendas and complex strategies designed to make the world a better place. You’ll see lots of idiosyncratic wisdom in the weeks ahead.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Nobel Prizewinning physicists Wolfgang Pauli and Niels Bohr were amused at how counterintuitive their innovative theories seemed. Once Pauli was lecturing a group of eminent scientists about a radical new hypothesis. Bohr left his seat in the audience and walked to the front to interrupt his colleague. “We all agree that your theory is crazy,” Bohr told Pauli. “The question that divides us is whether it is crazy enough to have a chance of being correct. My own feeling is that it is not crazy enough.” Pauli defended himself. “It is crazy enough!” he said. But Bohr was insistent. “It’s not crazy enough!” he argued. A comparable query for you: Are your new ideas and possibilities crazy enough to be true? Make sure.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You’ve wandered into your cycle’s awkward phase. Missed connections aroused confusion. Disjointed events led to weirdness. Here’s how you may be able to restore clarity and confidence: Make a foray into a borderland and risk imaginative acts of heroism.

Too cryptic or spooky? How about this: Go on an unpredictable quest to free trapped vitality, or try a mysterious experiment to awaken sleeping magic. For best results, ask for help every step of the way.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The German word Gesamtkunstwerk can be translated as “total art work” or “all-embracing art form.” It refers to a creative masterpiece that makes use of several genres. 19th-century composer Richard Wagner had this in mind when he produced his opera cycle The Ring of the Nibelung, which included orchestral music, singing, theater, and literature. I invoke the spirit of Gesamtkunstwerk for you. The weeks ahead will be a great time to synthesize and coordinate the things you do best — express them with a flourish.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Defender was a popular video game that young people played in video arcades during the 1980s. Time magazine profiled 15-year-old Steve Juraszek after he racked up a record-breaking 16 million points, playing for 16 hours straight. But when his high school principal found out that Juraszek had skipped classes to be at the arcade, the kid was suspended. There may soon be a similar development in your life. Will you have to pay a small price for success? Be prepared to risk an acceptable loss to reach an important goal.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “Would that life were like the shadow cast by a wall or a tree,” says the Talmud. “But it is like the shadow of a bird in flight.” That’s a lyrical sentiment, but I don’t agree. I’ve come to prefer shimmering dance over static stance. The ever-shifting play of light and dark is more interesting to me than the illusion of stability. I’m more at home in unpredictable flow than in stagnant trance of certainty. What about you? In the immediate future, cultivate an appreciation for joys and challenges of shimmering dance.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The core of your horoscope is from Tony Hoagland’s poem “A Color of the Sky.” Imagine you’re the “I” who’s saying: “What I thought was an end turned out to be a middle. What I thought was a brick wall turned out to be a tunnel. What I thought was an injustice turned out to be a color of the sky.” Understand: Saying these words might not make total sense yet. You may have to take them on faith until you gather further evidence.

Speak them anyway; it’ll generate transformations you need to make them come true.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Lessons in luck are coming your way. Will they help attract more luck? Maybe. Will they show how to make better use of your luck? Maybe. A lot depends on your ability to understand and love the paradox of luck. To prepare: 1. “Luck is believing you’re lucky,” Tennessee Williams. 2. “It is a great piece of skill to know how to guide your luck even while waiting for it,” Baltasar Gracián. 3. “Sometimes not getting what you want is a brilliant stroke of luck,” Lorii Myers. 4.

“The harder I work, the luckier I get,” Samuel Goldwyn.

5. “You’ve got to try your luck at least once a day, because you could be going around lucky all day and not even know it,” Jimmy Dean. 6. “Go and wake up your luck,” Persian proverb.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The word “boudoir” means a woman’s bedroom. But hundreds of years ago, it had a more specific definition. It was a room where a well-bred girl was sent when she was pouting. “Boudoir” is derived from the French verb bouder, which means “to sulk.” If it were in my power, I’d send you to the sulking room right now. I’d encourage you to sulk. A good long sulk is just the right prescription. It’d trigger brainstorms on how to change the soggy, foggy conditions that started the sulking.

Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

NEWS OF THE WEIRD CRIME DOES PAY When officials in Richmond, California, learned in 2009 that 70 percent of the city’s murders and firearms assaults were directly linked to 17 people, they decided on a bold program: Pay off those 17 to behave. For a budget of about $1.2 million a year, the program offers individual coaching, healthcare coverage and several hundred dollars a month in stipends to former thugs who stick to their “life map” of personal goals and conflict-resolution training.

According to an April report on National Public Radio’s “This American Life,” Richmond is no longer among the most dangerous towns in America, with the murder rate in fact having fallen, from its all-time yearly high of 62, to 11 last year.

CAN’T POSSIBLY BE TRUE One might believe a sixth-grader, suspended for a whole year after school officials found a “marijuana” leaf in his backpack, might be immediately un-suspended if authorities (after three field tests) found the leaf was neither marijuana nor anything else illegal. Not, however, at Bedford Middle School in Roanoke, Virginia, whose officials said they’d acted on gossip that students called the leaf “marijuana,” and therefore under the state schools’ “look-alike-drug” policy, the student was just as guilty as if the leaf had been weed. Formerly a highachiever, he has, since last September, suffered panic attacks and is under the care of a pediatric psychiatrist.

His parents filed a federal lawsuit in February.

THE JOB OF RESEARCHER Biologist Regine Gries of Canada’s Simon Fraser University devotes every Saturday to letting about 5,000 bedbugs suck blood from her arm — part of research by Gries and her biologist-husband Gerhard to develop a pheromonebased “trap” that can lure the bugs from infested habitats like bedding. She estimates having been bitten 200,000 times since the research began, according to a May Wired magazine report. Regine holds a mesh-topped jar of bugs against her arm for about 10 minutes each (which Gerhard can’t do because he’s allergic) — leading, of course, to hours of itchiness and swelling in the name of progress.

DAMN RIGHT IT MATTERS The three gentle grammar pedants (one an environmental lawyer calling himself “Agente Punto Final,” i.e., “Agent Period”) devoted to ridding Quito, Ecuador, of poorly written street graffiti, have been patrolling the capital since November 2014, identifying misplaced commas and other atrocities and making sneaky corrective raids with spray paint. In March, Punto Final told The Washington Post he acts out of “moral obligation” — that “punctuation matters, commas

matter, accents matter.” Police take vandalism seriously in Quito, so the three must act stealthily, in hoodies and ski masks, with one standing lookout.

SUSPICIONS CONFIRMED Almost half of the DNA collected from a broad swath of New York City’s subway system matched no known organism, and less than 1 percent was human. In February, Weill Cornell Medical College researchers announced they’d identified much DNA by swabbing passenger car and station surfaces, finding abundant matches to beetles and flies (and even traces of inactive anthrax and bubonic plague) but, since so few organisms have been fully DNA-”sequenced,” there was no cause for alarm. The lead researcher compared the bacteria-teeming subway to a “rain forest,” deserving “awe and wonder” that “there are all these species” that — so far — cause us relatively little harm.

MISINTERPRETATION “I’m doing what God wants,” Mike Holpin, 56, told British TV’s Channel 5 in April. “In the Bible, God says go forth and multiply,” said the unemployed former carny who claims to have fathered at least 40 children (now ages 3-37) by 20 women. Holpin’s been married three times, and lives with his fiancée Diane and two kids in the Welsh town of Cwm. “I [will] never stop,” Holpin said. “I’m as fertile as sin ...”

UNDIGNIFIED DEATHS It takes only four U.S. Supreme Court justices to accept a case for review, but it takes five to stay an execution.

On Jan. 23, the Court accepted the case challenging Oklahoma’s death penalty chemicals, but the lead challenger, Charles Warner, lacking that fifth “stay” vote, had been executed eight days earlier (using the challenged chemicals), during the time the justices were deliberating. The case, Warner v. Gross, was immediately renamed Glossip v. Gross, but Richard Glossip himself was scheduled to die on Jan. 28. Then, without explanation, at least one other justice supplied Glossip’s missing fifth vote, and, with one day to spare, his execution was stayed until the challenge to the chemicals is resolved.

ESSENCE THIEVES Police in eastern South Africa were searching in May for three women who accosted a man in Kwazakhele Township, near Port Elizabeth, raped him in the back seat of a black BMW, collected his semen in a cooler, and sped away without him. Constable Mncedi Mbombo told the Sowetan Live website, “This is really confusing to us because we have never heard of such a thing before.”

Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net

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JUNE 3-9, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39