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CONTENTS //
AUGUST 13-19, 2014 • VOLUME 28 • NUMBER 20
NO NEW SALES TAX
14
12 MAIL FIGHTIN’ WORDS COVER STORY OUR PICKS
6 7 8 12
MUSIC THE KNIFE FILM FILM LIST
14 18 19 23
ARTS DINING BITE-SIZED I SAW U
19 27 29 35 36
ASTROLOGY CROSSWORD WEIRD CLASSIFIEDS
37 37 38 39
Cover Illustration by Shan Stumpf PUBLISHER • Sam Taylor staylor@folioweekly.com / 904.260.9770 ext. 111
EDITORIAL
EDITOR • Jeffrey C. Billman jbillman@folioweekly.com / ext. 115 SENIOR EDITOR • Marlene Dryden mdryden@folioweekly.com / ext. 131 INTERIM A&E EDITOR • Janet Harper jharper@folioweekly.com / ext. 128 WRITERS-AT-LARGE Susan Cooper Eastman seastman@folioweekly.com Derek Kinner dkinner@folioweekly.com CARTOONIST • Tom Tomorrow CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Rob Brezsny, Daniel A. Brown, John E. Citrone, Julie Delegal, AG Gancarski, Nicholas Garnett, Claire Goforth, Janet Harper, Dan Hudak, Shelton Hull, MaryAnn Johanson, Amanda Long, Heather Lovejoy, Nick McGregor, Cameron Meier, Jeff Meyers, Kara Pound, Merl Reagle, Scott Renshaw, Carley Robinson, Chuck Shepherd, Melody Taylor and Abigail Wright
VIDEOGRAPHER • Doug Lewis
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Folio Weekly is published every Wednesday throughout Northeast Florida. It contains opinions of contributing writers that are not necessarily the opinion of this publication. Folio Weekly welcomes both editorial and photographic contributions. Calendar information must be received two weeks in advance of event date. Copyright © Folio Publishing, Inc. 2014. All rights reserved. Advertising rates and information are available on request. An advertiser purchases right of publication only. One free copy per person. Additional copies and back issues are $1 each at the office or $4 by U.S. mail, based on availability. First Class mail subscriptions are $48 for 13 weeks, $96 for 26 weeks and $189 for 52 weeks. Please recycle Folio Weekly. Folio Weekly is printed on recycled paper using soy-based inks. 27,000 press run. Audited weekly readership 105,315.
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EDITOR’S NOTE It’s hard to fault the Jacksonville City Council’s reticence to once again raise property taxes — not with election season around the corner, not after hiking the tax rate by 14 percent just last year, not after Mayor Alvin Brown handed them a pension agreement that calls for a $40 million annual commitment with no definitive funding source, not with Brown continuing to oppose any new taxes, leaving them on a political island. And so it was that the same City Council that by a 16-2 margin approved the 2013 increase last week rejected another tax-hike proposal, which would have generated $40 million a year, 12-6. Instead, the Council turned its attention to a one-cent increase in the sales tax, which, if you’re a politician, has one distinct advantage: Voters have to approve it. To that end, next year’s primary election will probably share ballot space with a referendum on a sales tax increase, with the extra $68 million it would raise indirectly allocated toward the Jacksonville Police and Fire Pension Fund. (Indirectly because, under state law, sales taxes can’t go toward the pension fund; instead, that money would go toward infrastructure and fire and rescue services, then Council would put the existing money for those things toward the pension. Yes, it’s a little confusing.) This is, on the merits, a very bad idea. Not because City Council doesn’t need the money — it does, especially if JEA can’t cough up that $40 million, as Brown has suggested. While it’s not at all certain that Council will approve the deal Brown struck with JPFPF executive director John Keane earlier this year, any real solution will involve additional revenue. (Sorry, folks, but you don’t get halfway-decent cops and firefighters with lackluster compensation packages.) And we do need a solution. The problem is, sales taxes are horribly regressive. While, yes, they spread the burden farther throughout the community — not just to homeowners, but everyone who buys things — they also disproportionately impact the poor and working class, much more so than property taxes (which, of themselves, are less regressive than graduated income taxes). Low-income families spend a larger share of their incomes on taxable items. In Florida, the poorest quintile of the non-elderly population pays 9.1 percent of its income in sales taxes; the richest 1 percent, on the other hand, pays just 0.9 percent, according to the Institute on Taxation & Economic Policy. Increasing the sales tax only increases this inequity. Property taxes are much fairer. And let’s be honest: Last year’s tax hike was no big deal, and another small increase wouldn’t be either. Jacksonville still has one of the lowest tax burdens of any city in the United States, often to its own detriment, and the increase worked out to less than $12 a month for the median homeowner. The alternatives — soaking the poor or forcing the city to scramble to ameliorate its pension deficit or praying that JEA can find loose change in the office sofa — are much less palatable. And here’s the other thing, as Clark pointed out last week: The pension reform, no matter how necessary, may not be popular, especially when we ask voters to tax themselves to pay for it. If Council ultimately approves the pension deal, and if voters subsequently reject the sales tax increase, we’re back to square one. It’s better to get it done now. Jeffrey C. Billman twitter/jeffreybillman jbillman@folioweekly.com
AUGUST 13-19, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5
Sidestepped the Truth
The mystery surrounding the Zachariah Tipton killing is unnerving. So was your article [Cover Story, “Die to Ride,” Derek Kinner, July 16]. I suggest doing a rewrite in a fictional vein, and change the names of the groups. Instead of “sanctioned motorcycle clubs,” substitute “inner-city drug gangs.” The Outlaws, Hell’s Angels, Banditos and Iron Horsemen are not country clubs where middle-aged white men hang out to broker the next gentrification plan for a downtown neighborhood. They are drugdealing, murderous, criminal gangs with welldocumented histories of violence that continue far past the adoption of “code agreements” in the 1980s relative to patch colors. The details of Mr. Tipton’s murder are still shrouded in secrecy, and I understand the concern you might have had in taking a stronger stand with respect to the known criminal element of bike gangs. But the truth is clear, and you sidestepped it a bit. Mike Clark
Voice of the People
Congratulations on your courage to expose the obscene corporate takeover of the city of Jacksonville by businessman Kahn and his “minor-league” football team [Cover Story, “19 Things We Could Have Done Instead of Build Shad Khan’s Scoreboards,” Jeffrey C. Billman and Susan Cooper Eastman, July 30]. Forty million dollars in public money to a billionaire that will benefit only the rich who get to view his screens and swim in his pool while libraries close and jobs are impossible to find is truly an example of the “let them eat cake” attitude of the top 1 percent in this country, which has the biggest gap between rich and poor in the developed world. Just like the ridiculous and totally unsubstantiated “trickle-down” economics of the Republicans, I’ve been told of all the jobs and money that the losing Jaguars bring to our area. Of course this is not true, just as lowering taxes on rich people does not create jobs or benefit the poor. This is yet another example of the power of lies, propaganda and money in buying off democracy. Thank you for being the only voice of the people in this poorly educated and overly propagandized community. Professor S.L. Stoll
God Not Pleased, Loves the Jags
I’m never reading Folio Weekly again … worst article I’ve ever read [“19 Things”]. May God have mercy on your soul.
museum could fit in the allowable projects with bed tax monies. All of the rest of the list is baiting the argument. Based on the positive response nationally, it’s hard to argue with the impact [the scoreboards] have already made. And the story should loudly point out that they cost the local taxpayer zero, zip, nothing. It is all paid by visitors. What a sham this article was. Shame on you. Doug Ganson, via folioweekly.com
The Cost of Vision
Let’s look at it from this angle [“19 Things”]: What if one of Jacksonville’s very own made an offer to contribute, say, $5 million of his personal money to help restore the long-neglected Hogan’s Creek promenade? He would ask that the city contribute the additional two-thirds and under the condition that he was allowed to profit from it for five to six months out of the year by hosting special events. The city would have the same opportunities for the remaining months. Would there be outrage and contempt? Probably not, but essentially it’s the same thing. The difference is that I don’t see any of our “oh-so-esteemed, altruistic” citizens stepping up for a park. It took an outsider with some vision to get this done at the stadium, and he’s not stopping there, but there’s a cost for vision and follow-through. I guess we could always continue paying (from city coffers, mind you) for feasibility study after feasibility study after feasibility study and always wonder what could have been. Climb that damn mountain! Tony Sottile, via Facebook
Clap Harder
We are very lucky to have the Jags and Shad Kahn [“19 Things”]; count your blessings and keep it positive. This town must advance toward its potential and we have slipped for decades. Why drive division into the first small bit of progress of late? Victor Jones, via Facebook
DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTIONS Last week’s Backpage Editorial [“Did Mayor Brown Snub the SCLC?” by Dr. Juan Gray] referred to the Jacksonville Human Rights Commission as “the mayor’s Human Rights Commission.” While the mayor does appoint the commission’s members, they must also be confirmed by the City Council, and the HRC is not under the control of the mayor’s office.
William Taylor Meyer, via Twitter
Shame on You
This is purely propaganda and the yellow journalist knows it [“19 Things”]. Of the 19 things mentioned, only the Adams-class 6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 13-19, 2014
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FIGHTIN’ WORDS
WHY DUVAL KIDS CAN’T READ And why there’s not much an extra hour will do about it
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bout four decades ago, educational theorist Jean Anyon posited in her essay “Social Class and the Hidden Curriculum of Work” that public schools existed to reinforce social class parameters through the “hidden curriculum” — a constant reminder of one’s place in the world. Working-class (and below) students were trained in things that would prepare them for mechanical and monotonous labor. Students from better circumstances would be trained in critical thinking, on up the ladder to learning actual leadership skills. I find myself thinking of the education of those farther down the socioeconomic ladder, and the lives it prepares them for. Duval County Public Schools is a district with some very high performers, a tenuous middle class of college-ready potential, and then the rest, a miasma of underperformance. Superintendent Nikolai Vitti’s tenure ultimately will be defined by whether he’s able to even the odds for the underserved students — a long-shot bet. Expanding the school day for 52 Duval schools (in response to the state deciding that the 300 worst-performing schools needed an extra hour of reading instruction added to their day) is yet another attempt to get this done. The state required 41 Duval County schools to commit the extra time. Vitti added 11 more. He justified his decision this way to WJXT: “Although there are parents that are not happy with the idea of extending the hour, there are other parents that think that this is a good opportunity for their students that are below grade level or that want their school to improve in general.” Note the use of passive voice. Having attended a crap school or two, I can only imagine being cooped up in one for yet another hour. I can imagine what that will be like for the teachers; the kids clockwatch as it is, and another hour acting in loco parentis might make both teacher and student loco themselves. Will more kids learn to read? If it’s done right, sure, maybe. Extended-day programs
have driven instructional outcome gains in Massachusetts in recent years. Closer to home and across the country, the KIPP charterschool program has shown positive results, but at a price. KIPP burns out teachers faster than Wacko’s does day-shift talent. And Duval teachers aren’t setting longevity records anyway. Half are out of the game before the five-year start-date anniversary. The most callow teachers dealing with the toughest student population for 180 hours more in a school year is a recipe for burnout and churn out. While first-year implementation allows teachers to opt-out if they don’t want to work that hour, we all know how plans can change. I went to an elementary school with a bunch of kids who had trouble learning to read. I didn’t have that problem; I’d learned to read as a toddler, as my parents modeled the behavior. Those poor kids learning to read as they hurtled toward puberty — clearly they were taught too late. And an extra hour a day wouldn’t have helped, as their world was outside those walls. Therein lies the larger problem: Especially for boys in some city neighborhoods, reading facility is not equated with masculinity. How does DCPS counter that? In a time when some school districts teach grade-schoolers how to write code, it staggers me that our local culture is so debased that reading is something that parents wait for government schools to teach their kids. The kids learn how to use smartphones and TV remote controls from toddlerhood. Why aren’t they learning the rudiments of our written language before they learn Call of Duty or the Kardashian app? What other responsibilities are these parents willing to cede to the schools? Did they imagine that the government would take such an active role in shaping their progeny into adults? Did they reckon they’d rely so much on the state? AG Gancarski twitter/aggancarski mail@folioweekly.com AUGUST 13-19, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7
he man I’ll call Hector was only looking for work when he boarded a flight from Guatemala to the U.S. in March 2012. He’d been here as a temporary worker several times in the past, and this trip was supposed to be no different — a few months of hard work for more money than he could hope to make at home. He planned to return in June, right around the time his wife would give birth to their first child. But Hector hasn’t been home since. He hasn’t seen his wife in over two years. He never saw his baby. It’s possible that he will never go home again. His three-month stay turned into an open-ended hell. On an April day when the skies were open and pouring I met Hector in a small conference room at Florida Coastal School of Law’s Immigration Clinic, where I worked as a clinician in 2008. The clinic represented Hector in his visa application; in January he received a T-visa, which allows immigrant victims of human trafficking to become lawful permanent residents of the United States. I wasn’t surprised by Hector’s vague unease and fleeting eye contact when he politely shook my hand. It’s hard not to imagine what the slim, strong 27-year-old man, dressed neatly in a T-shirt and slacks, might think or feel about opening up to a white female stranger. I offered him the guava empanadas I’d brought. James Carbonell, one of the clinicians who worked on his case, translated for us, kindly helping me with the Spanish pronunciation of “guava.” Guayaba didn’t roll quite right off my American tongue, but it made Hector smile. Slightly more at ease, he began. The story he told is, in a sense, quintessentially American, that of hard work and sacrifice and aspiration. But it’s also a story that highlights the dark side of American capitalism — an exploitative avarice that preys upon those with few good options. When we think of human trafficking, our minds often go to sex workers — and for good reason. Most human trafficking cases — as many as 27 million people are trafficked worldwide each year, according to the U.S. State Department — especially in Northeast Florida, are related to sex, and the image of a poor teenaged girl forced to prostitute herself tugs at the heartstrings in a way few other things do. But there is another, less-visible face of a human trafficking victim: Hector’s. He is a labor trafficking victim, one of too many people who has fallen through the cracks of the U.S.’s guest worker system. Most labor trafficking victims in the U.S. are Hispanic immigrants. Some are brought here legally; others already live here illegally and are exploited by those who use their undocumented status against them. Too often, advocates say, these individuals aren’t seen as victims, and their plights are ignored. As Tomas Lares, chairman of Greater Orlando Human Trafficking Task Force and executive director of Florida Abolitionist, puts it, “Somebody forced into sex: Wow, that’s awful. Somebody forced into labor: It’s probably their fault. They’re probably illegal.”
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A local man’s story illustrates the brokenness of America’s guest worker program BY CLAIRE GOFORTH
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ector’s ordeal began rather inconspicuously; a man approached his brother during a soccer game in Guatemala, saying he was a contractor for an American company that needed agricultural workers. Hector, his brother and several other men later met with him to discuss the opportunity. The man’s promises were quite different from what Hector had experienced on previous trips as a guest worker. The pay was supposed to be higher, the treatment better. The recruiter also said their visas would be extended for as long as nine months, far longer than on previous trips. “The contractor told me that the work would be continuous and if that, at any time, I wanted to come back home, they would pay for not only the airline ticket to come to the United States but also the return flight,” Hector says. None of that happened. The men had to pay a $150 application fee to be considered, Hector says. They didn’t know that that is a violation of U.S. federal law; companies cannot require a fee for a guest worker visa application. After his application was accepted, Hector borrowed money from a loan shark and gave $2,000 to the company to buy his plane ticket from Guatemala to Atlanta. (A search on June 12 for flights from Guatemala to Atlanta in July found round-trip tickets ranging from $529 on CheapOAir.com to $539 on Expedia.com.) He was to be reimbursed $500 when work began. (He wasn’t.) Under federal law, companies can require workers to pay for initial travel costs, but must reimburse them in full upon completion of half the agricultural season. The Central Georgia blueberry farm that Hector, his brother and between 75 and 85 other men would call home for the next three months is miles from a paved road, far outside of town. The recruiter traveled with them and remained with them throughout their stay. (Hector asked me not to identify the recruiter, whom he believes may still pose a threat to his family in Guatemala. Because I shielded Hector’s identity when I called the companies he worked for to ask about his allegations — he fears that the companies will share that information with the recruiter — I will not identify those businesses here.) The day after they arrived at the ranch, Hector says, the men were summoned to the office, where a secretary asked for their documents to fill out paperwork. “They didn’t explain to us what documents we were going to fill out,” Hector says, “but I think it was to pay for taxes and things like that. When we finished filling out the applications, the secretary kept all of our documents and didn’t return them. We didn’t have a problem with it at first.” No other company had kept his documents before, he says. Hector had heard stories from others who came to the U.S. as guest workers, stories of people crammed into deplorable living conditions and being paid much less than they were promised, while working far more. But other than the close quarters — they slept in bunk beds, 18 men to a room — and foulsmelling tap water, at first everything seemed acceptable, perhaps not ideal, but acceptable. They went to work for a nearby pine straw company — 12 hours a day, seven days a week. Hector threw himself into it, packing as many as 150 to 200 bundles of pine straw a day, making 90 cents a bundle. The relationship between the berry farm and the pine straw company isn’t clear, says Jim Knoepp, deputy legal director of
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the Southern Poverty Law Center, which assisted the two companies’ guest workers. “It seems that they work pretty closely together,” Knoepp said, “The workers seem to be shared between the companies. Workers live in [the farm’s] housing but they work for [the pine straw company].” Like many other aspects of Hector’s experience, that is illegal. H-2A visas are specific to the company that files them; the men should have been able to work for either the pine straw company or the farm, not both. t wasn’t long before things started to go wrong. In the first few days, they realized that the water didn’t just smell bad; many men became ill after drinking it. Hector asked the managers, including the recruiter, to provide potable water. They refused, and told him that if he wanted water, he’d have to buy it. Procuring supplies became another issue. Once every eight days, the men were loaded on a bus and taken to Walmart, where they had approximately 30 minutes to buy food, water and other supplies and send money home. If anyone wanted to go to town, he’d have to buy gas for the bus. And forget about going out after work; at night, they were left on the farm’s ranch behind a locked gate. At least they were being paid — envelopes of U.S. dollars on Friday afternoons. But the numbers never seemed to add up, Hector says. For packing 150 bundles of pine straw a day for seven days at 90¢ per bundle, Hector should have earned $945. He usually got less than half that. He averaged between $300 and $400. He learned through word of mouth that the rest was supposedly going to taxes, rent ($30 a week) and other costs. “They would deduct from the money we got paid for the rides to be able to get to work, the rent, they would deduct the tools that I was using to be able to do the packing, the taxes — apparently taxes — medicine,” Hector says. “We would pay for everything and then whatever was left was what we would get. And they wouldn’t really give us medicine. What they would give us was a bottle of alcohol and some Band-Aids.” The money that was left over didn’t go nearly far enough. In addition to having to buy his own drinking water, he estimates, he was spending $60 a week on packing ties for the pine straw. Hector was accustomed to hard work and little pay — in Guatemala, he made around $50 a week for agricultural work — but this was different. Federal law requires H-2A employers — that is, employers of guest workers — to provide housing, transportation and sustenance, in addition to tools, equipment and other supplies necessary to complete their assigned duties. By law, Hector should also have been given a written accounting of any costs deducted from his pay. He says he wasn’t. After two months, blueberry farm personnel said they were going to apply for a three-month extension of the guest workers’ visas. Hector agreed. The pay may not have been great, but it was more than he could earn back home. And he was indebted to the man who had lent him the money for airfare, a loan shark who could exact payment in blood if he didn’t get his money. Not long after the visa extension was filed, they finished packing pine straw and were sent to pick blueberries. But a week later, the farm brought in a machine, leaving the men without any work. And no work meant no money.
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“I requested my documents again because I wanted to go home. They told me that I couldn’t leave.”
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s the days ticked down to the date their workers — are not held accountable for the visas expired, the men still hadn’t been practices of their recruiters. While Department told if the extensions had been granted. of Labor regulations ban employers from Don’t worry, the managers told them. knowingly using recruiters who charge workers application fees, advocates say these regulations Everything is fine. But there was no work, no transportation, are largely ignored and rarely enforced. Even if no documents, and supplies and funds were the man who brought Hector to the U.S. acted dwindling — Hector says the situation on the under the authority of the companies for which ranch was becoming grim. Then he received he was recruiting, his actions will not be held against the companies. Recruiters themselves heartbreaking news. “My wife had the baby, but the baby had are essentially immune from prosecution, problems with his heart. Three days after he was because foreign countries are not likely to start born, he passed away,” he says in a wooden tone. enforcing U.S. law. “In that moment, I requested my documents Moreover, the fact that so many farmworkers again because I wanted to go home. They told are here illegally deleteriously impacts me that I couldn’t leave, and what was I going to those who have H-2A visas, by divesting do back home anyway?” “all farmworkers of bargaining power and It was at this moment, being denied the political influence,” according to the Farmworker paperwork he needed to leave, that his situation Justice report. passed into the realm of human trafficking — While most of the debate over the current which, according to U.S. Customs and Border immigration reform legislation — which Protection, occurs when “a person is induced overwhelmingly passed the U.S. Senate last by fraud, force or coercion to work under the year but died in the conservative House of total or near-total control of another person Representatives — has centered on what to do or organization.” with the 11.5 million undocumented immigrants To make matters worse, Hector didn’t have who currently live in the U.S., the bill also any money to send home. At that point, in fact, addresses many of the problems advocates see he scarcely had anything to eat. “We would go to in the system governing the country’s 106,000 the edge of the mountain to cut plants, different guest workers. It provides workplace rights and types of grasses, and then we would cook them remedies for undocumented immigrants, and and we would put some eggs in and that’s what we replaces the H-2A guest worker program with would eat. I’m pretty skinny already, but I felt it two agricultural worker visas for contract and atwill employment, quite more. And both for three when we stopped years, with the working, I wasn’t possibility of a really able to eat Hector asked the right. I got sick 3-year renewal. managers, including the to the stomach (Currently, the and since then, I longest amount recruiter, to provide haven’t been able of time guest potable water. They to recuperate.” workers can stay in the country His wife urged refused, he says, and is less than a him to leave the year.) Under ranch, either told him that if he this system, atwith or without wanted water, he’d have will employees his documents. would no longer Hector thought to buy it. be tied to their about contacting employers, Immigration or and could seek the police, but he didn’t know if the company had filed his visa alternate employment elsewhere. Contract extension. If not, contacting the authorities employees could do so after their contract expires. Both visas provide an option to apply could have gotten him deported. for permanent residency. The bill also enacts fees and restrictions on oughly half of the 2 million or so seasonal workers who work on U.S. farms each companies that employ a large percentage of year are here illegally. But even workers temporary workers, a measure aimed at reducing like Hector, who enter the United States legally, the incentive to import workers who will accept often face immense hardships, advocates lower wages or poor working conditions. In say. According to a report by the advocacy addition, the bill requires all employers to use group Farmworker Justice, “Violations of the E-Verify, a database that helps determine if a rights of U.S. workers and guest workers by person is eligible to work. (Advocates point out H-2A program employers are rampant and that this system is fairly easy to fool.) But for now, given the House’s unwillingness systemic. … Employees at H-2A employers routinely experience wage theft and other to act, the status quo prevails. Hector says that many of the men who were unlawful practices.” The system, advocates say, gives the on the ranch with him are now undocumented employers an upper hand. Some farmworkers, immigrants, either afraid to seek help or like Hector, are afraid to return home because unaware that help is available. Had they been of outstanding debts to violent loan sharks, and able to seek alternate employment or even just employers use undocumented workers’ fears avoid removal while their claims of exploitation of deportation against them to get them to were being investigated, as the legislation accept below-minimum wage pay, no overtime, provides, they might not be among the 11.5 no benefits, and unsafe environments, million undocumented immigrants who live within, and yet apart from, our society. advocates say. In many instances, legal guest workers fare little better. The guest worker program is our months after they arrived, Hector, his widely criticized by rights advocates for putting brother and three others had had enough. workers at the mercy of their employers. “These They demanded their documents back. visas are tied to that employer,” says Knoepp of “The owner of the ranch said he was going to the SPLC. “If that visa sponsor isn’t treating you give us our passports, but he didn’t want us one well, you don’t have a lot of options.” more night in that house,” Hector says. “We Further, employers — who don’t have to pay would need to leave right then and there. And social security or unemployment taxes on guest that’s exactly what we did.”
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They’d worked a little that week, so they had some money. But before they could get their passports returned, he says, they were told they’d each have to pay $400, allegedly the cost of the visa-extension application (it is illegal to require guest workers to pay the application fee). This would have left Hector with $10. After waiting three hours, the men started walking down the long dirt road to anywhere else — without their documents. A Good Samaritan gave them a ride to Walmart, where Hector called the SPLC. He’d learned of the organization, which provides financial and other resources to victims of human trafficking, during his first trip to the U.S. at a “Know Your Rights” presentation. That day, women from SPLC picked them up and gave them a place to stay. It took three months and the help of an attorney to get their documents back. Their visas had expired. The extension had only been filed for one month, not three as promised. Now Hector had to decide if he should stay in the U.S. or go home to Guatemala and his wife. “I didn’t really want to stay in the United States illegally,” he says. In addition to the fact that overstaying his visa could have meant that he would never be able to return to the U.S. again, Hector had another, more pressing problem: the money he had borrowed from a loan shark to fund his trip. “In my country, it is very difficult right now,” he says. “If you owe money, there are a lot of consequences. They can kill you for that money.” Hector decided to stay. His brother eventually came to Jacksonville and, last year, Hector followed. The SPLC put him in touch with Michelle Clowe at World Relief Jacksonville, who then referred him to FCSL’s Immigration Clinic. Filing for a T-visa required Hector to submit a detailed affidavit of his story and provide copies of all his documents, including his passport, H-2A visa, information from his wife, and the arrival/departure record issued to foreigners by Customs and Border Protection. The application also included a letter explaining why, though law enforcement had not certified him as a trafficking victim, he was a “victim of involuntary servitude” as defined by the Trafficking Victims Protection Act. (That certification is helpful but not required for the visa.) Both the Georgia Department of Labor and Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) in Georgia declined to certify Hector as a victim of human trafficking. They did not explain why. Professor Ericka Curran, who runs the immigration clinic, says that their refusal to certify his case was inexplicable.
he has a steady job as a painter, and is learning to drive and to speak and write English. He gave his first real smile of the afternoon when he mentioned Jimmy Black, who works with Clowe and is spending his own time teaching Hector language and driving skills. His smile broadened when I asked about his wife — after Hector was granted a T-visa, the Immigration Clinic also successfully applied for a visa for her. They are now waiting for funding from an aid organization and approval from the U.S. consulate in Guatemala for her to leave. “I count every minute,” Hector says. Though his life in the U.S. is relatively secure, Hector says that Guatemala has become a far more dangerous place for him in the two years since he left the ranch. Based on multiple reports against the man who recruited Hector and the
others, the U.S. embassy subsequently refused to allow him to come to the U.S. with another group of temporary workers. Since then, Hector says, the man has been making threats, saying he knows who reported him and he’s going to get revenge. “I don’t say too much because I’m concerned if word gets back home about everything, my family would be in danger,” Hector says. Thus far, the recruiter is only suspicious that Hector reported him, Hector says; finding out that he has received a T-visa could validate those suspicions. “Some of my friends who worked with us had heard that he said that when I go back home, they’re going to take care of me. And he said if he wasn’t going to be able to get to me, he was going to get to my family,” Hector says. “My wife right now is afraid and nervous. She doesn’t
go out because of that.” His brother has since returned to Guatemala to his own wife and family. He, too, lives in fear for his life and rarely leaves the house, Hector says. Hector also tells me that some of the other men from the farm eventually returned to Guatemala; others chose to remain illegally. One was represented by the Immigration Clinic and received a T-visa. The interview is over, and Hector and Carbonell prepare to leave. I’m not sure, but it seems he feels lighter from telling his story, freer after opening up about what he has been through. He takes an empanada for the road. “Guayaba,” he says, holding it up. I return his smile and repeat it. This time it comes out right. mail@folioweekly.com
he U.S. Department of Labor’s Wage and Hour Division launched investigations into both the blueberry farm and the pine straw company as a result of the claims by Hector and others who worked for the companies in 2012. The first investigation has concluded. The second is ongoing. The Labor Department charged the farm with three violations: the driver who transported the workers not having a valid Georgia driver’s license; the employer failing to include his full address or his employees’ permanent addresses on visa applications; and the employer failing to notify the department about the impossibility of his workers completing the work because the season ended early due to crop loss. The Labor Department determined that the farm’s owner owed $3,557.62 in back wages for 22 employees. The owner also paid $2,400 in civil penalties. Today Hector has recovered his equilibrium, though he has not fully recovered from his ordeal. He still suffers stomach problems he attributes to starving and foraging for food. But
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Our Picks Reasons to leave the house this week
SO LONG, EARLY AUGHTS KRISTOPHER ROE
The time hath cometh for high-top sneakers, ready-for-rags flannel and sailor tattoos (bet you’ve never even touched a sailboat, posers): Pop-punk nostalgia is in the urban core. Kristopher Roe, the seasoned front man of The Ataris, bangs out nowclassic tracks from an inverted acoustic. Though the songs lose a bit of their original bite in translation, they take on a different, wholly authentic charm with Roe’s gravelly, earnest voice driving each contagious riff and chorus onward. Acoustic acts New Leaves, Mark O’Quinn and John Carver Band support, with local act Speaking Cursive bringing the distortion (it is a punk show, after all). 7 p.m. Aug. 19 at Burro Bar, Downtown, $8.
FOODIE FRENZY EAT UP DOWNTOWN
As summer’s inevitable end nears, Downtown Vision Inc. presents the fourth annual Eat Up Downtown to cure those post-summer blues with a delicious dining experience. More than a dozen urban-core restaurants offer unique three-course menus for $15, $25 or $35 – a steal to suit every palate and budget. But don’t stop at dinner. After you’ve gorged on the cheap, head down to any participating bar with your Eat Up Downtown comment card and enjoy BOGO drink specials. For the next two weeks, Downtown’s not just on fire, it’s cookin’. Aug. 11-24, Downtown.
LEADING LADIES THE DOZEN DIVAS SHOW
WE SAID FREE BEER MIGHTY OAKS MUSIC FESTIVAL
More than 30 bands. Three venues. Two days. Twenty bucks. And FREE BEER. The best indie, electronic and punk bands from all over the Southeast (and Seattle, too) – including Os Ovni (pictured), Civil Brute and Terror Pigeon – are gathering for the first-ever Mighty Oak Music Festival in Riverside, with 5 Points merchants Sun-Ray Cinema, rain dogs. and Deep Search Records hosting the weekend-long megafest. Drink local with free Intuition beer until the keg blows both nights. With a wristband, you get discounts at participating area businesses. We’ll be blowing all our extra dough at Deep Search stocking up on our Frank Zappa collection (10 percent off, y’all). 8 p.m. Aug. 15, 3 p.m. Aug. 15 and 16 at Sun-Ray Cinema, rain dogs. and Deep Search Records, 5 Points, $20 for a wristband.
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Dorothy Bishop is doling out compliments to some of the most famous female celebs of all time. The Jacksonville native brings her critically acclaimed comedy act straight from the clubs of New York City to Atlantic Beach. Featuring local veteran actor Blake Michael Osner as some of the leading ladies’ leading men, The Dozen Divas Show showcases (representations of) Babs, Liza, Madonna and more of their ilk. Bishop spawned the show, by the way, from her parodies of that ultimate superstar diva, Sarah Palin. 8 p.m. Aug. 15 and 16, 4 p.m. Aug. 17, Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre, Atlantic Beach, $20.
NO, HIPSTER MODRAG
It’d be too easy to write off Austin-based Modrag as yet another self-described trippy garage rock/psychedelic folk band. But with distorted, dream-like melodies and intense percussion and guitar riffs, a live performance that actually seems, well, alive, and their DIY punk attitude, this three-piece act offers anything but trendy, recycled music. In fact, their debut album is titled Takeitbackfromhipsterscum, a reference to the cliquey hipster infiltration of their hometown’s music scene. Help “take it back” by catching Modrag on their East Coast tour. Highly recommended if you like: daydreaming, tambourines, fun. With Riverside Party Girls. 8 p.m. Aug. 15, Shantytown Pub, Springfield, $5. 12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 13-19, 2014
BEAT THE WAHOOS JACKSONVILLE SUNS
So you’d think that, like in Major League Baseball, the formula for making the minor-league playoffs would be pretty straightforward: If you win enough games to claim your division or a wild card slot, you’re in. Alas – at least for the casual fan – it ain’t so. The division winners of the first half of the season play the winners of the second half of the season in a five-game series to see who moves on to the next round, which, confusing though it may be, means our own Jacksonville Suns, despite a mediocre first half, are still in it. As of this writing, they’re tied for first in the second-half standings with the Mobile BayBears. And starting Sunday, they head into the homestretch with a five-game stand against the lowly Pensacola Blue Wahoos. 6:05 p.m. Aug. 17-20, 7:05 p.m. Aug. 21, Baseball Grounds of Jacksonville, Downtown.
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A&E // MUSIC
CONTRARY COMPANIONS San Diego’s Crocodiles and Milwaukee’s Jaill bring divergent sounds but analogous outlooks
“If somebody listens to our albums and hears Jesus and Mary Chain, they don’t know anything about music.”
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ccording to music industry scorekeepers Nielsen SoundScan, album sales have declined precipitously over the last few years — 4.4 percent from 2011 to 2012, and 8.4 percent from 2012 to 2013. Yet many in the indie rock world still religiously adhere to an old-school cycle: Record an album, lay low until it’s finished, build up to its release with a frenzy of single and video promotion, then tour like crazy once it finally comes out. Which makes the Aug. 19 Underbelly show featuring San Diego’s Crocodiles and Milwaukee’s Jaill a rare treat: Not only have the two bands played together only once before this summer, but both have new, as-yet-unannounced albums in the bag for release in early 2015. Sure, the two bands’ creative MOs couldn’t be more different — Crocodiles’ druggy, jangly psych-pop earns constant (if not always welcome) comparisons to Stone Roses and Jesus and Mary Chain, while Jaill’s taut, gracefully harmonic rock careens with ease from edgy New Wave to punchy power-pop to syrupy freak-folk à la fellow Milwaukeeans Violent Femmes. And Crocodiles are definitely the more popular band, with countless international tours and major festival headlining spots to their name, not to mention frontman Brandon Welchez’s marriage to indie rock darling Dee Dee Penny of Dum Dum Girls. Yet for all of their differences, Welchez and Jaill frontman Vincent Kircher spoke to Folio Weekly of their respective projects in similarly steadfast terms. “We’ve gotten better at songwriting, and I’d say the music has probably gotten poppier,” Welchez says of Crocodiles’ artistic trajectory since 2008. Asked about the comparisons that have relentlessly dogged the band throughout its four-album discography, he adds, “We’ve always just made the music we wanted to hear. We’re not really interested in anything else. If somebody listens to our albums, [2013’s] Crimes of Passion specifically, and hears Jesus and Mary Chain, they don’t know anything about music. To me that just shows a lack of imagination or depth on the part of the person saying it.” Given the peaks and valleys that Jaill has experienced — a surge of interest that resulted in a deal with Sub Pop Records, but lackluster sales and numerous lineup changes since 2012’s Traps — Kircher was even more pensive. “Jaill’s been around for 11 years, but it’s been a long learning experience,” he says. “The label and the booking agent were things that made it exciting and possible to make the next step. But in terms of loving to create and play music, the attitude hasn’t changed. I just want to get better, grow personally, and continue to connect emotionally with people through song.” Neither would share much about his band’s respective upcoming albums, though Welchez says recording in Mexico was conducive to he and core bandmate Charlie Rowell’s creative spirit. “We’ve played in Mexico a bunch of times and have several friends there,” he says. “So we’ve been wanting to record there for a long time. Renting an apartment was super-
Crocodiles
cheap, and we were right down the street from the studio, so we could work all day, then hang out with our friends.” Pressed for details, Welchez says, “I don’t want to give too much away. The songwriting approach changed somewhat, and there are definitely some new flavors in there. But it’s still very Crocodilian.” The biggest change for Jaill came from basic personnel issues. “After Traps, our Jaill drummer had a second kid and our bass player settled into a new job, so the lineup has completely changed,” Kircher says. “The three new members and I have toured together for two years, but our new record will have a new feel to it.” Like Welchez, Kircher wouldn’t divulge much more than that: “It’s completely finished, but we haven’t released any of the who, what, when or where about it. We expect it to come out early next year, and once that happens, we’ll get back into full touring mode again. Until then, we’ll jump on whatever opening spots pop up with bands that we like, like Crocodiles.” In an age of blink-and-you’ll-miss-them indie rockers racing to grab on to vanilla trends, a chance to see two established, underappreciated bands is reason to celebrate. “I feel good about our longevity, even in the face of ups and downs and rough patches,” Welchez says. After a recent conversation with Rowell,
Kircher says he sees Crocodiles and Jaill existing on an unlikely continuum. “Charlie and I talked about those ups and downs, too,” he says. “There are vested emotions; the music industry is surprisingly personal, but how things pan out can be all luck of the draw. But if you put your all into what you make, you’ll find a way to reach people. It doesn’t matter what people are writing about you — or whether they’re writing about you at all. Success or no success, for me, Jaill has just been a matter of putting my head down in a brutish way and going with what feels good.” Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com CROCODILES with JAILL and BURNT HAIR 9 p.m. Aug. 19 Underbelly, Downtown, $10, 699-8186, underbellylive.com
CONCERTS THIS WEEK
RANDY HOUSER, BIG & RICH, JANA KRAMER 7 p.m. Aug. 13 at Mavericks, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, $5, 356-1110. THE GRAPES OF ROTH 6 p.m. Aug. 13 at St. Johns County Pier Park, St. Augustine, free, thecivicassociation.org. BIG DATA 8 p.m. Aug. 13 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, $17, 246-2473. Rock ’N’ Blues Fest: JOHNNY WINTER BAND, EDGAR WINTER BAND, VANILLA FUDGE, PETER RIVERA (Rare Earth), KIM SIMMONDS (Savoy Brown) 8 p.m. Aug. 14, Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, $39.50-$59.50, 355-5661. GLASS CLOUD, SCALE THE SUMMIT, MONUMENTS 7 p.m. Aug. 14 at 1904 Music Hall, 19 N. Ocean St., Downtown, $13.50, 1904musichall.com. RITTZ, TUKI CARTER, RAZ SIMONE 6:30 p.m. Aug. 14 at Aqua, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $15, 334-2122. Concerts in the Plaza: THE COMPANY 7 p.m. Aug. 14 at Plaza de la Constitución, 48 King St., St. Augustine, free. THE DOG APOLLO, BRUCE B, WINTER WAVE 8 p.m. Aug. 14 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $5, 398-7496. HOUNDS OF HATE, FREE AT LAST, GROSS, SOCIETY ABUSE, SELF WORTH, CRISIS UNIT, NO LIFE TO LIVE, NEAT FREAK 6 p.m. Aug. 14 at Burro Bar, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, $8, 353-6067. SLEEPING GIANT, THIS OR THE APOCALYPSE, THOSE WHO FEAR, PHINEAS, BEWARE THE NEVERENDING 6 p.m. Aug. 15, Murray Hill Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., $13-$15, 388-3179. Mighty Oak Music Festival: CAUTION CHILDREN, SUNO DEKO, SASKATCHEWAN, DROMES, WORLD’S STRONGEST MAN, OS OVNI, CIVIL BRUTE, OPIATE EYES, ADJY, BOYSIN, SWEET BRONCO, PEACE ARROW, DATADIAMOND, PRETTY POLICE STATE, SALES, JUDE., TERROR PIGEON, IJI, FJORD EXPLORER, MELT CHANNEL, MARVELOUS GOOD FORTUNE, UNCLE MARTY, MADELINE AVA, WAIGHTSTILL AVERY, BRIGHTWING, KAIZEN, JOHNYTIGER, LAUTLOS, PHANTASMAN, SECOND NATURE, TELESCOPE THIEVES, THE GAMMA BOT, PAZMAL, TYORD, CULT COSMOS, BLAIR.SD Aug. 15 & 16, 5 Points, Riverside. MODRAG, RIVERSIDE PARTY GIRLS 8 p.m. Aug. 15 at Shantytown Pub, 22 W. 6 St., $5, 798-8222. SNAKE BLOOD REMEDY, THE LAST SONS, DEADMAN DELOSSANTOS 8 p.m. Aug. 15 at Burro Bar, $5, 353-6067. KENNY ZIMLINGHAUS, HOT DAMN 8 p.m. Aug. 15 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, $, 699-8186. LISA & THE MADHATTERS 8 p.m. Aug. 15 at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, free, 353-1188. LENNY COOPER 6 p.m. Aug. 15 at Mavericks, $10, 356-1110. MADHAUS 8 p.m. Aug. 15 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $8, 398-7496. POWERBALL, GROSS EVOLUTION 8 p.m. Aug. 15, Freebird, $8. PANIC! AT THE DISCO, WALK THE MOON, YOUNGBLOOD HAWKE 7 p.m. Aug. 16 at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., $35, 209-0367. POOKIE, TWINKI, RIVERSIDE PARTY GIRLS 8 p.m. Aug. 16 at Shanghai Nobby’s, 10 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 547-2188. LAKE DISNEY, TWINKI, JONESTOWN REVIVAL, KING DYLAN, SPACECAT, ACID MAJIK, DATADIAMOND 8 p.m. Aug. 16 at rain dogs., 1045 Park St., Riverside, 379-4969. JAMIE LYNN SPEARS 6 p.m. Aug. 16 at Mavericks, $10-$15, 356-1110. OFF!, BAD ANTICS, GAY KISS 8 p.m. Aug. 16 at Jack Rabbits, $15, 398-7496. THE CORBITT BROTHERS BAND, HOMEMADE WINE, RUSTY SHINE 8 p.m. Aug. 16 at Freebird Live, $10, 246-2473. GOD ROBOTS, BRAIDED SUN 9 p.m. Aug. 16 at Café Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, $10, 460-9311. BREAKING THROUGH, MARION CRANE, THE EMBRACED, CASHMIR 7:30 p.m. Aug. 16 at Underbelly, $10-$25, 699-8186. Dunes & Tunes Arts & Music Festival: PARKER URBAN BAND, ZACH DEPUTY, S.P.O.R.E., BIG SOMETHING, ROUND TABLE IMPROV JAM 3 p.m. Aug. 16 at Main Beach, 25 Tarpon St., Fernandina Beach, $20 advance. PROMETHEAN HORDE, SERVANTS OF THE MIST, SATURNINE, THE NOCTAMBULANT, PORTER 8 p.m. Aug. 16, Burro Bar, $5. CUM STAIN, POOKIE, TWINKI, RIVERSIDE PARTY GIRLS 9 p.m. Aug. 17 at Underbelly, $5, 699-8186. ADRIAN ORANGE, R.ARIEL, GERI X 8 p.m. Aug. 18, Burro Bar, $5. THE OFFSPRING, BAD RELIGION, PENNYWISE, FEAR 5:30 Aug. 19 at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, $39.50-$59.50, 209-0367. CROCODILES, JAILL, BURNT HAIR 9 p.m. Aug. 19, Underbelly, $10. YARN, THE GROOVE COALITION 8 p.m. Aug. 19, Jack Rabbits, $8. KRIS ROE, NEW LEAVES, MARK O’QUINN, JOHN CARVER BAND, SPEAKING CURSIVE 7 p.m. Aug. 19, Burro Bar, $8. THE BIG LONESOME 6 p.m. Aug. 20 at SJC Pier Park, free. BALLYHOO!, BUMPIN UGLIES, FAYUCA 8 p.m. Aug. 20 at Original Café Eleven, $12, 460-9311. SAVANNA LEIGH BASSETT 6:30 p.m. Aug. 20 at Murray Hill Theatre, $10, 388-3179. FRAMEWORKS, THE CAUTION CHILDREN, RITES, GREY FOX, DELTA SUN 8 p.m. Aug. 20 at Burro Bar, $8, 353-6067.
UPCOMING CONCERTS
Blackwater Music Festival: SLIGHTLY STOOPID, STEEL PULSE, FISHBONE, STEPHEN MARLEY Aug. 21-23, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park THE RICK ARCUSA BAND Aug. 21, Plaza de la Constitución THE CRAZY DAYSIES Aug. 21, Aloft Hotel Tapestry Park CHAPPO, STARDEATH, WHITE DWARFS Aug. 21, Jack Rabbits THE FRESH BEAT BAND Aug. 22, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THE BAMA GAMBLERS Aug. 22, Freebird Live JESSE KEITH WHITLEY, BRYAN MOFFITT, OL’ CRACKER Aug. 22, Original Café Eleven ADAM SANDERS Aug. 22, Mavericks RADIO BIRDS, GOVERNOR’S CLUB Aug. 22, Burro Bar
A&E // MUSIC
PRIMER 55, GENERATOR, PRIMITIVE HARD DRIVE, SYLENT VYLENTZ Aug. 22, Jack Rabbits MOVEMENT22: THE DOG APOLLO, GREY MARKET, BURNT HAIR, GHOSTWITCH, DJ E-N-S, THE LYRICIST LIVE, SPINDIGO, IRONSIDE Aug. 22, TSI Discotheque SPANKY THE BAND Aug. 22, The Jacksonville Landing CASSADEE POPE Aug. 23, Mavericks FJORD EXPLORER, JOHN CARVER BAND, KATIE GRACE HELOW Aug. 23, Jack Rabbits EMILY & THE COMPLEXES, BREAD AND CIRCUS, EMA & THE OLD KINGS Aug. 23, Burro Bar RETRO KATS Aug. 23, The Jacksonville Landing HOMEFIELD ADVANTAGE, LAKE DISNEY, NICK BRYANT Aug. 23, Freebird Live BOB WEIR, RATDOG, CHRIS ROBINSON BROTHERHOOD Aug. 24, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THIS FRONTIER NEEDS HEROES Aug. 24, Mellow Mushroom DOYLE (formerly of The Misfits), CHIEFORIA Aug. 24, Underbelly COLM KEEGAN Aug. 24, Culhane’s Irish Pub MIKE SHACKELFORD ACOUSTIC NIGHT Aug. 24, Bull Park, AB LIFE ON THE SIDELINE, WINTER WAVE, SACK THE CITY Aug. 24, Burro Bar NOTS, TIGHT GENES, THE MOLD, RIVERSIDE PARTY GIRLS Aug. 24, rain dogs. LIL DEBBIE, TWINKI, DEM GODZ, LUKE OAKLEY, HEAVY FLOW Aug. 25, Burro Bar GRENDEL, LUDOVICO TECHNIQUE Aug. 26, Eclipse BISHOP ALLEN Aug. 26, Burro Bar BILLY BUCHANAN & FREE AVENUE Aug. 27, SJC Pier Park SAMURAI SHOTGUN, ASKMEIFICARE Aug. 27, Burro Bar REPTAR Aug. 27, Underbelly SAM HUNT Aug. 28, Mavericks LOVE LANGUAGE, WISE RIVER, MEMPHIBIANS Aug. 28, Underbelly BLACK KIDS, THE DOG APOLLO, TOMBOI Aug. 29, Underbelly SMILE EMPTY SOUL, SUPER BOB, BRIDGE TO GRACE Aug. 29, Jack Rabbits CHILLED MONKEY BRAINS Aug. 29, Freebird Live MIDNIGHT MASSES, DELPHIC ORACLE, RUFFIANS Aug. 29, Burro Bar PERSONA NON GRATA Aug. 29, The Jacksonville Landing BERES HAMMOND Aug. 29, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ALIEN ANT FARM, KALEIDO, STAYNE THEE ANGEL, DEAR ABBEY, CUTTER Aug. 30, Aqua CHARM CITY DEVILS Aug. 30, Jack Rabbits MADHAUS Aug. 30, Freebird Live SOMETHING DISTANT Aug. 30, The Jacksonville Landing First Coast Music Fest: GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE, WORLD GONE, PALM TREES & POWERLINES, FUSEBOX FUNK, LUCKY COSTELLO, CITY BOI, ALLELE, AMONGST the FORGOTTEN, ASKMEIFICARE, BRENT BYRD, BRYCE ALASTAIR BAND, CHRIS WOODS, DAMNEDGED, DE LIONS OF JAH, EMMA MOSELEY BAND, EVICTION, FETCH, FIRE AT PLUTO, FOLLOW the WHITE RABBIT, G MAYN FROST, THE GROOVE COALITION, HIATUS, INNUENDO, JAHMEN, KIM RETEGUIZ & the BLACK CAT BONES, LAKE DISNEY, LARRY BELLYFATE, MAMA BLUE, MINOR INFLUENCE, NINA RENAE, PARKRIDGE, PRIDELESS, PRIME TREES, PRIMITIVE HARD DRIVE, ROCK-N-ROLL CHROME, SEAN PICASSO, SLOW MOTION SUICIDE, S.P.O.R.E., STATE TROOPERS, STAYNE THEE ANGEL, SUNSPOTS, TOM BENNETT BAND, URSA MINOR, YOUNG CHULO Aug. 30 & 31, Underbelly, 1904 Music Hall, Burro Bar POP EVIL, ALLELE Aug. 31, Freebird Live ROCK OF AGES CONCERT, 418 BAND Aug. 31, Jax Landing Music by the Sea: MID-LIFE CRISIS Sept. 3, SJC Pier Park PARMALEE Sept. 4, Mavericks BLOODSHOT BILL, TIGHT GENES, RIVERSIDE PARTY GIRLS Sept. 4, Underbelly VOCKAH REDU, VLAD the INHALER, TWINKI Sept. 5, Underbelly NORTHE, THE INVERTED, THE COLD START, WEEKEND ATLAS Sept. 5, Jack Rabbits PROFESSOR WHISKEY Sept. 6, Underbelly RIVERS MONROE, ANGELS FOR HIRE Sept. 6, Murray Hill Theatre PSYCHOSTICK, ONE-EYED DOLL, WILD THRONE Sept. 6, Aqua Freebird Live 15th Anniversary Party: GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE, CHARLIE WALKER, BONNIE BLUE, BRYCE ALASTAIR BAND, KYMYSTRY & FRYNDS, SIDEREAL Sept. 6 THREE DOORS DOWN ACOUSTIC Sept. 7, Florida Theatre Endless Waltz, a Kaoru Abe Commemoration: JAMISON WILLIAMS, CHARLES PAGANO, A.J. HERRING, THOMAS MILOVAC, DANA FASANO, SCOTT LEONARD LEONARD BAZAR, ZACHARY NACE BETHEL, JASON DEAN ARNOLD, MICHAEL LANIER, AG DAVIS, JAY DECOSTA PEELE, TIM ALBORO, DAN KOZAK Sept. 7, Shantytown Pub ZZ TOP, JEFF BECK Sept. 7, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DIARRHEA PLANET, WOVEN IN, DILDOZER, THE COUGS Sept. 8, Underbelly MRS. SKANNOTTO Sept. 9, Jack Rabbits BRITISH INVASION TRIBUTE SHOW Sept. 9, Burro Bar Music by the Sea: GO GET GONE Sept. 10, SJC Pier Park THE TRADITIONAL Sept. 10, Burro Bar LOLIPOP CARAVAN Sept. 11, Underbelly BYRNE & KELLY Sept. 11, Culhane’s Irish Pub REND COLLECTIVE Sept. 11, Murray Hill Theatre FORTUNATE YOUTH, THE STEPPAS, ASHES OF BABYLON, EASE UP Sept. 12, Freebird Live ANGELS FOR HIRE, JONNIE MORGAN BAND Sept. 12, Jack Rabbits Connection Festival: KERMIT RUFFINS & the BBQ SWINGERS, LESS THAN JAKE, SURFER BLOOD, WHOLE WHEAT BREAD, TREME BRASS BAND, ORQUESTRA EL MACABEO, LA QUILOMBERA, THIS FRONTIER NEEDS HEROES, JACKIE STRANGER, WEEKEND ATLAS, NORTHE, JAH ELECT & the I QUALITY BAND, UNIVERSAL GREEN, ORANGE AIR, ALEXIS RHODE, RYVLS, PROFESSOR KILMURE, RUFFIANS, DIRTY
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LIL DEBBIE TWINKI, HEAVY FLOW, DEM GODZ, LUKE OAKLEY tickets available at ticketfly.com AUGUST 25
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THU 8/14
hounds of hate, free at last, gross, self worth, crisis unit, neat freak, no life to live, society abuse
FRI 8/15
snake blood remedy, the last sons, deadman de Los Santos
SAT 8/16
promethean horde, servants of the mist, noctalbulant, saturnine, porter
MON 8/18
geri x, adrian orange, rachel ariel crocker, kevin lee newberry
TUE 8/19
kristopher roe (the ataris), robbie freeman, mark o’quinn, john carver band, speaking cursive
WED 8/20
frameworks, caution children
AUTOMATIC, WOVEN IN, GARRETT, TOM BENNETT BAND, MONDO MIKE & THE PO BOYS, ARTILECT, OSCAR MIKE, KANA KIEHM, PARKER URBAN BAND, KNOCK FOR SIX, NEVER ENDING STRUGGLE Sept. 12-14, Downtown Jacksonville 1964: THE TRIBUTE (Beatles tribute band) Sept. 13, Florida Theatre J. BOOG, HOT RAIN Sept. 13, Jack Rabbits PAPADOSIO, ASIAN TEACHER FACTORY Sept. 13, Freebird Live SHERYL CROW Sept. 14, The Florida Theatre ASKMEIFICARE, PLANETRAWK, SAMURAI SHOTGUN Sept. 14, Jack Rabbits B-SIDE PLAYERS Sept. 16, Jack Rabbits JOEY CAPE (Lagwagon), CHRIS CRESSWELL (Flatliners), BRIAN WAHLSTROM Sept. 17, Jack Rabbits Music by the Sea: NAVY PRIDE Sept. 17, SJC Pier Park THE PRETTY RECKLESS, ADELITA’S WAY Sept. 18, Freebird Live GOLDEN PELICANS, THE MOLD, RIVERSIDE PARTY GIRLS, MOUNT THE STALLION Sept. 18, Underbelly MAD CADDIES Sept. 18, Jack Rabbits TELESMA Sept. 19, Freebird Live THE GET RIGHT BAND Sept. 19-20, The White Lion A Night of Dark Ambient: SCARED RABBITS, MONOLITH TRANSMISSIONS, SEA OF APPARATIONS, THE SEPIA RAVEN, CON RIT Sept. 20, CoRK Arts District JACK WHITE Sept. 20, T-U Center STICK FIGURE, PACIFIC DUB, HIRIE Sept. 20, Freebird Live GRAM PARSONS Guitar Pull Songwriting Contest Sept. 20, Jack Rabbits HAWTHORNE HEIGHTS, THE RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS, NEW EMPIRE, FAMOUS LAST WORDS, THE ONGOING CONCEPT, EVERYBODY RUN, EVERSAY Sept. 21, Freebird Live Experience Hendrix: BUDDY GUY, KENNY WAYNE SHEPHERD, JONNY LANG, RICH ROBINSON, DOYLE BRAMHALL II, ERIC JOHNSON, CHRIS LAYTON, ZAKK WYLDE, BILLY COX Sept. 21, The Florida Theatre MIKE SHACKELFORD ACOUSTIC NIGHT Sept. 21, Bull Park AB JOYCE MANOR, DES ARK, THE EXQUISITS Sept. 21, 1904 Music Hall KYLE KINANE, CHRIS BUCK Sept. 24, Jack Rabbits Music by the Sea: PHOENIX Sept. 24, SJC Pier Park SENSES FAIL, NO BRAGGING RIGHTS, KNUCKLE PUCK Sept. 24, Underbelly CODE ORANGE, TWITCHING TONGUES, AXIS, BLISTERED, RHYTHM OF FEAR Sept. 25, Burro Bar MEGHAN LINSEY, JORDYN STODDARD Sept. 25, Café Eleven BRONCHO, SUNBEARS! Sept. 26, Jack Rabbits GIMME HENDRIX Sept. 27, Freebird Live SHAWN McDONALD Sept. 27, Murray Hill Theatre CHARLI XCX, ELLIPHANT, FEMME Sept. 29, Freebird Live PETER FRAMPTON Sept. 30, The Florida Theatre DAVID GRAY Oct. 1, The Florida Theatre
A&E // MUSIC
KEITH SWEAT, HOWARD HEWITT Oct. 3, T-U Center DJ VADIM, FORT KNOX FIVE Oct. 3, Freebird Live WIDESPREAD PANIC Oct. 5, St. Augustine Amphitheatre RICHARD MARX Oct. 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall NOT TONIGHT JOSEPHINE, TREES SETTING FIRES Oct. 9, Jack Rabbits EARTH, WIND & FIRE Oct. 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THE SHIVAS Oct. 11, Underbelly THE VIBRATORS, POWERBALL Oct. 12, Jack Rabbits TREVOR HALL, CAS HALEY Oct. 12, Freebird Live WILLY PORTER, BRENT BYRD Oct. 16, Original Café Eleven Magnolia Fest: LYLE LOVETT, BELA FLECK, JASON ISBELL, INDIGO GIRLS, DONNA THE BUFFALO, DR. JOHN, THE WAILERS, JIM LAUDERDALE, THE LEE BOYS, GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE, FLAGSHIP ROMANCE, PARKER URBAN BAND, CHELSEA SADDLER Oct. 16-19, Suwannee Music Park
CLUBS
AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH
DAVID’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, 802 Ash St., 310-6049 John Springer Tue.-Wed. Aaron Bing 6 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. GREEN TURTLE, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Buck Smith every Thur.Yancy Clegg every Sun. Vinyl Record Nite every Tue. HAMMERHEADS, 2045 S. Fletcher Ave., 491-7783 DJ Refresh 9 p.m. 1 a.m. every Sun. THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 491-8999 Brent Byrd Aug. 14
AVONDALE, ORTEGA
CASBAH CAFE, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores 9 p.m. every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. Tue. & Thur. Indie dance 9 p.m. Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance 9 p.m. Fri. Music every Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200 Carl & the Black Lungs Aug. 14. Firewater Tent Revival Aug. 15. Squeedlepuss Aug. 16
BEACHES
(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)
BILLY’S BOATHOUSE, 2321 Beach Blvd., 241-9771 Billy Bowers Aug. 14. Tullamore Road Aug. 15 & 17 BLUE WATER ISLAND GRILL, 205 N. First St., 249-0083 Parker Urban Band Aug. 19 BRASS ANCHOR PUB, 2292 Mayport Rd., AB, 249-0301 Joe Oliff 9 p.m. Aug. 16 CASA MARINA HOTEL, 691 First St. N., 270-0025 Charlie Walker 2 p.m. Aug. 17 CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 Michael Funge 6:30 p.m. Aug. 17 FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680 The Druids 10 p.m. Aug. 15 & 16. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Red Beard & Stinky E 10 p.m. every Thur.
FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 Big Data, Wise River 8 p.m. Aug. 13. Powerball, Gross Evolution Aug. 15. The Corbitt Brothers Band, Homemade Wine, Rusty Shine Aug. 16 LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., NB, 249-2922 Decoy Aug. 15. The Session Aug. 16 LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Something Distant 10 p.m. Aug. 15 & 16. Dirty Pete every Wed. Who Rescued Who every Sun. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., 246-1500 Jazz Aug. 13. Danka Aug. 14. Ryan Crary Aug. 16 MEZZA RESTAURANT & BAR, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573 Neil Dixon 6 p.m. Tue. Gypsies Ginger 6 p.m. every Wed. Mike Shackelford & Steve Shanholtzer 6 p.m. every Thur. NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE, 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300 King Eddie & Pili Pili Aug. 14. Aaron Koerner, Wes Cobb Aug. 15. Derrick Jefferson Aug. 16. Kevin Ski Aug. 19 NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 372-4105 Sidetrack Aug. 14. Elizabeth Rogers Aug. 15 RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877 Live music every Thur.-Sun. WIPEOUTS GRILL, 1589 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 247-4508 Kurt Lamb 7:30 p.m. Aug. 14. Billy Bowers 9:30 p.m. Aug. 15
DOWNTOWN
1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. Artilect, Scale the Summit, Glass Cloud, Monuments 7 p.m. Aug. 14 BURRO BAR, 100 E. Adams St., 353-4686 Hounds of Hate, Free at Last, Society Abuse, Crisis Unit, No Life to Live, Neat Freak Aug. 14. Snake Blood Remedy, The Last Sons, Deadman Delossantos Aug. 15. Promethean Horde, Servants of the Mist, Saturnine, Noctambulant, Porter Aug. 16. Kris Roe, New Leaves, Mark O’Quinn, John Carver Band, Speaking Cursive Aug. 19 FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247 Spade McQuade 6 p.m. Aug. 13 & 20. 2 Live Dudes 8:30 p.m. Aug. 15. Jig to a Milestone 8 p.m. Aug. 16. Live music every Fri. & Sat. JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 IveyWest Band 6 p.m. Aug. 14. Lisa & the Mad Hatters 8 p.m. Aug. 15. Latinas Hot Summer Fiesta 5 p.m. Aug. 16 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Roy Luis every Wed. DJ Vinn Thur. DJ 007 every Fri. Bay Street Sat. MAVERICKS, Jax Landing, 2 Independent Dr., 356-1110 Randy Houser, Big & Rich, Jana Kramer 7 p.m. Aug. 13. Lenny Cooper Aug. 15. Jamie Lynn Spears Aug. 16. Joe Buck, Big Tasty Thur.-Sat. UNDERBELLY, 113 E. Bay St., 699-8186 Kenny Zimlinghaus, Hot Damn 8 p.m. Aug. 15. Breaking Through, Marion Crane, The Embraced, Cashmir Aug. 16. Crocodiles, Jaill, Burnt Hair Aug. 19
14. Dopelimatic Aug. 15. Rhythm Remedy Aug. 16. Jimmy Parrish & the Waves Aug. 17 TABLE 1, 330 A1A N., Ste. 208, 280-5515 Deron Baker 6 p.m. Aug. 13. Gary Starling Jazz Band 7:30 p.m. Aug. 14. The WillowWacks 7:30 p.m. Aug. 15. Paxton & Mike Aug. 16
RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE
MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., 388-7807 Sleeping Giant, This or the Apocalypse, Phineas, Those Who Fear, Beware the Neverending 6 p.m. Aug. 15 rain dogs., 1045 Park St., 379-4969 Chris Stalcup & the Grange, Devon Stuart, Beau Crum Aug. 15. Lake Disney, Twinki, Jonestown Revival, King Dylan, Spacecat, Acid Majik, Datadiamond 8 p.m. Aug. 16 RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 Ronan School of Music, FSU AcaBelles, Tone Revival, Brother Nature Aug. 16
ST. AUGUSTINE
CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 Flashback Aug. 15. Ain’t Too Proud To Beg Aug. 16. Vinny Jacobs Aug. 17 HARRY’S SEAFOOD, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765 Billy Bowers 6 p.m. Aug. 13 MILL TOP TAVERN & LISTENING ROOM, 19-1/2 St. George St., 829-2329 2/3rds Band Aug. 15 & 16. Jim & Jake Aug. 17 ORIGINAL CAFE ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311 God’s Robots, Braided Sun 9 p.m. Aug. 16 SHANGHAI NOBBY’S, 10 Anastasia Blvd., 547-2188 Pookie, Twinki, Riverside Party Girls Aug. 16
A&E // MUSIC SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS
AQUA NIGHTCLUB & LOUNGE, 11000 Beach Blvd., Ste. 21, 334-2122 Rittz, Tuki Carter, Raz Simone 6:30 p.m. Aug. 14 COPPER TAP HOUSE, 13500 Beach Blvd., 647-6595 Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. LATITUDE 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 VJ Didactic 9 p.m. Aug. 14. VJ Fellin 8 p.m., Be Easy 9 p.m. Aug. 15 & 16. VJ Shotgun 9 p.m. Aug. 17 MY PLACE BAR & GRILL, 9550 Baymeadows, 737-5299 Aaron Sheeks Aug. 13. Dirty Pete Aug. 14. Carl & the Black Lungs Aug. 15. Chuck Nash Band Aug. 16 WILD WING CAFE, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Chris Brinkley Aug. 13. Kurt Lanham, Double Down Aug. 15. Fratello Aug. 16 WORLD OF BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 551-5929 Garrett Aug. 14. Nickel Bag of Funk Aug. 15. Chillakaya Aug. 16
SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE
SANDOLLAR, 9716 Heckscher Dr., 251-2449 Blistur Aug. 17 THREE LAYERS COFFEEHOUSE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 Mike McKay Band Aug. 15. Mama Blue Aug. 19
SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK
JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 The Dog Apollo, Bruce B, Winter Wave 8 p.m. Aug. 14. Off!, Bad Antics Aug. 16. Yarn, Groove Coalition Aug. 19 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 First Anniversary 7:30 p.m. Aug. 13. Larry Mangum, Elaine Mahon, Shane Myers 7:30 p.m. Aug. 16
FLEMING ISLAND
MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999 Jason Ivey 9 p.m. Aug. 14. Cameron One Man Band 9 p.m. Aug. 15. Bongo Boys 9 p.m. Aug. 16 WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Boogie Freaks 9:30 p.m. Aug. 15. SixLSix Aug. 16. Open mic 9 p.m. every Thur. Deck music at 5 p.m. every Fri. & Sat., 4:30 p.m. Sun.
INTRACOASTAL WEST
CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, 645-5162 IveyWest Aug. 13. Ozone Baby Aug. 15 & 16. DJ Big Rob every Thur., Sun. & Tue. YOUR PLACE, 13245 Atlantic, 221-9994 Clayton Bush Aug. 13
MANDARIN, JULINGTON
HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-3040 Open mic: Synergy 8 p.m. every Wed. World’s Most Talented Waitstaff 9 p.m. every Fri.
ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG
THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells, 272-5959 John Michael Wed.-Sat. PREVATT’S SPORTS BAR, 2620 Blanding Blvd., 282-1564 Four Barrel 9 p.m. Aug. 15. DJ Tammy 9 p.m. every Wed. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Alex Christie 10 p.m. Aug. 14. Blistur 10 p.m. Aug. 15 & 16. DJ Corey B every Wed. Live music every Fri. & Sat.
PONTE VEDRA, PALM VALLEY
PUSSER’S GRILLE, 816 A1A N., 280-7766 Aaron Koerner Aug.
AUGUST 13-19, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17
THE KNIFE
HEADLONG INTO THE MADNESS
A
18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 13-19, 2014
while back, I saw a group of to-meunknown musicians open for one of my favorite bands, The Aristocrats. I couldn’t decide whether I loved them or merely appreciated their approach to progressive metal. Last month, I watched them open for Virgil Donati. Again I was ambivalent, baffled by the razor-sharp execution of overwrought epics. I was impressed by their creativity and musicianship, but wondered where the spaces were. A listen to Artilect’s debut album, Percept, leaves me similarly perplexed. Here’s the deal: These guys are fantastic players. Guitarist Johnny Cieslik, bassist Eddie Hidalgo, vocalist Josiah Baker and drummer Josh Hughes are amazing technicians, able to navigate the hairpin turns, insane polyrhythmic terrain and super-fast metal riffage of their music with ridiculous precision. Hughes is especially impressive, exhibiting a mastery of polyrhythms and double-bass craziness. And there is some very heavy shit on this record. But I long for the spaces. The album opens with “Tyranny,” which revs up with a deceivingly simple chordal arrangement. That lasts only moments, then it’s headlong into the madness, with a chunky cycling riff, Hughes’ double kicks blasting throughout. Baker gives it his best Maynard James Keenan, albeit somewhat more operatic and stylistic. “Deaf Hearing” travels a similar avenue, and the broken gallop section a minute in is pretty damn interesting. Track five, “The Exchange,” may be the most impressive on the record, a fat-anddriving experiment in start-stop arrangement, Hughes again blowing the roof off with his intricate yet-no-less-powerful drumming. There’s even a nice blast section, and a very hard-hitting and complicated bridge (if bridges even exist in the Artilect universe). But there are problems here. There is so much going on that’s it’s difficult to forgive the exhibitionism. It’s as if the band felt they had one shot at loading an album with every
amazing riff they ever learned, sometimes gluing together incongruous sections in an effort to wow the listener at every turn. The effect is often exciting and perilous, but by the middle of the album, it’s just too much. The other issue is the vocals. Baker is a fine singer, but there is so little room for him that the vocal lines seem draped like ripped linen over a jagged, chaotic landscape. Again, I long for spaces. A few moments where the instrumentation takes a break, and texture and melody rule. I get it. This is meant to be heavy, brain-crunching math-metal and, for the most part, it succeeds. But poor Baker is lost in the swirl. Almost as a footnote, there is one piece, a 10-minute jaunt, that seems nearly apologetic, a spacey jam that allows Baker to investigate long melody and harmony lines missing elsewhere on the record. But it’s too much too late. It should be noted that the boys in Artilect are wonderful guys, and Baker is a dedicated promoter of the scene in Northeast Florida. He works hard at bringing new and diverse acts to town and making people aware of touring and local bands that may otherwise fly under the radar. Case in point: Artilect joins Scale the Summit and Glass Cloud on Thursday, Aug. 14 at 1904 Music Hall. Fans of dense prog-metal will love this band. They’re more complex than Dream Theater, as dark as Tool and almost as confounding as Behold … the Arctopus. Just beware. There are a lot of notes rolling out very quickly, and they don’t stop. Even when you want them to. John E. Citrone theknife@folioweekly.com
ARTILECT with SCALE THE SUMMIT and GLASS CLOUD 7 p.m. Aug. 14, 1904 Music Hall, Downtown, 1904musichall.com
A&E // MOVIES
GROWING UP IN REAL TIME
Richard Linklater filmed actors over 12 years to produce this breathtakingly unique almost-masterpiece
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childhood from ages 6 to 18, he’s chosen not ince the first days of film, directors have to portray many of life’s predictable moments. tried to capture the passage of time and Instead, he’s selected seemingly random the aging of actors. Early filmmakers snapshots. By his doing so, we don’t always get borrowed techniques from the stage, using high drama, but we do get a patchwork quilt of over-the-top theater makeup, or cast multiple existence. It has some misshapen squares, but actors of various ages in the same role. More when we examine the completed piece, we can recently, advances in prosthetics, traditional see the story’s truth. special effects and, eventually, digital trickery — These cinematic squares depict sibling displayed most memorably in The Curious Case squabbles, stolen peeks at Victoria’s Secret of Benjamin Button — progressed on-screen catalogs, a first kiss, a first job, President Obama’s aging so that it was almost believable. Almost. first presidential campaign and, fittingly, Despite the genius of these artists, director attending a Harry Potter film, another series that Richard Linklater, in a single film, has upstaged successfully captures the fleeting youth and aging them all by simply watching and waiting — and of children — and the actors who portray them. filming — over a span of 12 years. Boyhood, a Other threads weave deeper, personal visions, film focused on the life of a seemingly average like when the boy discovers his boy, was cast when the boy father’s flaws and realizes that (played by Ellar Coltrane) was BOYHOOD his mom is stuck in a cycle of just 6 years old. Linklater also doomed marriages. cast his own young daughter, ***@ Boyhood’s concept may be Rated R • Opens Aug. 15 Lorelei, as the boy’s older sister, at Sun-Ray Cinema great, but the finished film falls and Patricia Arquette as the short of greatness. It’s difficult to boy’s mother. The boy’s father is predict if a child will become an played by Ethan Hawke, an actor effective adult actor, and Coltrane and the young who collaborated with Linklater on the Before Linklater are just passable. With some clunky series, another project involving the passing scenes and other average performances, the film, of real time. The trilogy (Before Sunrise, Before especially early on, lacks energy and momentum. Sunset and Before Midnight) started filming in By starting the story after the boy’s parents are the early ’90s and focused on the development already divorced, Linklater robs us of a crucial of a couple’s relationship over the course of two episode in his life. decades. Like Boyhood, its stars actually age in Still, when the movie’s two hours and 46 real time; the films are set nine years apart. minutes are up, we can’t help but look back on Now Linklater has compressed real time into the boy’s youth and examine our own while a single film. He captures not just the maturation wondering, as he does, “What’s the point?” of his screenplay’s characters, but the real aging Despite the wrinkles in Linklater’s time tapestry, of real people, creating a fascinating film and, at he has given us one of the most memorable the same time, conducting a unique and noble movies of the year, and probably his directorial experiment — even crossing the line from fiction masterpiece. Time was clearly on his side, and into unintended documentary. now it’s on ours, too. John Lennon wrote, “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” Cameron Meier Linklater must agree, because to capture a mail@folioweekly.com AUGUST 13-19, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19
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A&E // MOVIES
MARGINAL MAGIC
Woody Allen’s new comedy is charming but clumsy
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McBurney), a well-known magician and here aren’t many geniuses in film, but debunker of fake mediums. But when Howard Woody Allen might just be one of them. can’t figure out Sophie’s schemes, he turns to his Arguably the greatest comedic writerfriend Stanley (Colin Firth), a famous magician director since Charlie Chaplin — though the who is Europe’s top exposer of charlatans. Coen Brothers are breathing down his neck — Allen will leave the world a less intelligent, Stanley is all business, and seemingly less wondrous place when he finally retires or passionless. “There is no metaphysical world,” becomes too feeble to bang away at his 1950s he explains. “What you see out there is what manual typewriter. Now that compliments are you get.” He applies that philosophy not just out of the way, let’s talk about Allen’s current to his prestidigitatorial profession but to every problems, which are far too evident in his latest aspect of his life, down to his relationship sleight of hand, Magic in the Moonlight. with his fiancée (Catherine McCormack), Those problems are whom he seems to love pace and personality. mostly because it’s the MAGIC IN THE MOONLIGHT Excluding Blue Jasmine logical thing to do. It’s and Midnight in Paris, no surprise then — **GM Allen’s most recent this is a Woody Allen Rated PG-13 offerings have too often romantic comedy, after relied on a good story all — that his world is while suffering from a tired tempo, mediocre upended by the unexpected allure of Sophie, directing and miscast leads. It’s almost as if who proves his equal on the battlegrounds of Allen has fallen in love with the idea of working both intellect and love. with certain actors, such as Scarlett Johansson, With a smart premise and a good turn from Owen Wilson and Penelope Cruz, without Firth, Magic has the makings of an Allen classic considering whether those performers — close to the quality of, say, Mighty Aphrodite or talented though some may be — are right for even The Purple Rose of Cairo; regrettably, it’s the task at hand. worthy of only the slightest recommendation, The latest on that list is Emma Stone, who is due to tedious scenes lacking in comedic luminous in Magic but still not quite right for punch, almost no chemistry between Stone the role. Stone plays Sophie, a young psychic and Firth, and an obvious twist that takes too in the 1920s who may turn out to be nothing long to reveal itself. At its best, it’s a touching more than a con artist, and, with the help of her commentary on faith, trust and love, but once mother (an underused Marcia Gay Harden), its weaknesses become more visible, it becomes is attempting to swindle wealthy families on not much more than a charming caper-comedy the French Riviera by staging fake séances. that’s alternatingly clever and clumsy. Skeptical of Sophie’s intentions, one family Cameron Meier seeks the help of Howard Burkan (Simon mail@folioweekly.com
A&E // MOVIES
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FILM RATINGS **** 48 HOURS ***@ LETHAL WEAPON **@@ BAD BOYS *@@@ RUSH HOUR 3
SCREENING AROUND TOWN GREGORY CREWDSON BRIEF ENCOUNTERS Surreal photographer Crewdson, whose work is on display at MOCA Jax in The New York Times Magazine Photographs exhibit, gave almost total access for this documentary, which screens at 7 p.m. Aug. 14 at Sun-Ray Cinema, 1028 Park St., 5 Points, free for MOCA members, $8 for nonmembers, 366-6911, mocajacksonville.org. SUMMER MOVIE CLASSICS The annual series continues with Viva Las Vegas, marking 50 years, starring Elvis Presley and Ann-Margret, screening at 2 p.m. on Aug. 17 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, $7.50, 355-2787, floridatheatre.com. SUN-RAY CINEMA Lucy, Hellion and Guardians of the Galaxy continue. Boyhood starts Aug. 15, running through Aug. 21, at Sun-Ray Cinema, 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. The Twin Peaks Marathon starts (with the pilot, of course) at 8 p.m. on Aug. 22, followed by all 29 episodes, ending about 10 p.m. on Aug. 23; $10; proceeds benefit Hubbard House. LATITUDE 360 MOVIES The Amazing Spider-Man 2, How to Train Your Dragon 2 and Muppets Most Wanted are screening at Latitude 360’s CineGrille Theater, 10370 Philips Hwy., Southside, 365-5555. WGHF IMAX THEATER Guardians of the Galaxy, Island of Lemurs: Madagascar 3D, D-Day: Normandy 1944 and Great White Shark 3D screen at World Golf Village Hall of Fame IMAX Theater, 1 World Golf Place, St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com. Journey to the South Pacific: An IMAX 3D Experience starts Aug. 15.
NOW SHOWING AND SO IT GOES *G@@ Rated PG-13 Oren Little (Michael Douglas) – a veteran realtor in coastal Connecticut – looks like a big old a-hole to the residents in one of the small apartment complexes he owns, which is also where he’s living while trying to sell his house. Among those residents is Leah (Diane Keaton), herself recently widowed and still prone to bursting into tears singing standards at a local restaurant. All she sees in Oren is a guy who seems incapable of dealing with his son, Luke (Scott Shepherd), a recovering addict about to serve a short jail sentence. And Leah thinks even worse of Oren when he seems completely incapable – or at least unwilling – to take care of Luke’s 10-year-old daughter Sarah (Sterling Jerins) while Luke does his time. — Scott Renshaw BEGIN AGAIN Rated R Mark Ruffalo needs a nice bowl of chicken soup and a bubble bath – he’s always singing the blues about some personal upheaval or another. Here he’s Dan, a washed-up music producer who sees a young woman (Keira Knightley) croon into a mic and thinks he’s discovered the next Joan Baez … oh, c’mon, you know … that folkie/Beat chick Dylan used to shtupp. OK, … the next Zooey Deschanel. — Marlene Dryden BOYHOOD ***@ Rated R • Opens Aug. 15 at Sun-Ray Cinema Reviewed in this issue.
LET’S BE COPS Jake Johnson, Damon Wayans Jr.
DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES Rated PG-13 For a while there, it looked as if Jonah Hill was going to be this summer’s winner of Saying Stupid Shit In Public. But then Gary Oldman unloaded to Playboy about the unendurable oppression of being unable to call a fag a fag and a Jew a Jew, and we had a new front-runner in the Emergency Hairshirt Olympics – and an answer to the question “What could possibly keep a Rob Ford apology off the front page?” Meanwhile, the apology I want to hear from Oldman is for mentioning David Bowie in the same breath as Charles Flippin’ Krauthammer when the question was “Who speaks the truth in this culture, in your opinion?” Fox is hoping all the fags and Jews out there are sufficiently swayed by Oldman’s penance that they’ll still go see the second installment in their grand quest to reboot aspects of the original Apes franchise nobody gave an especial shit about. Here, Oldman is in a band of human relics trying to stay alive in a world ruled by filthy primates. Geez, what would a Krauthammer reader know about that? — Steve Schneider DEEPSEA CHALLENGE 3D Rated PG Yet another James Cameron undersea documentary, in which the King of the World shows us what it’s like to visit the deepest, most foreboding Place on Earth. OK, the second deepest and most foreboding – I forgot about the office of Harlan Ellison’s lawyer. — S.S. THE EXPENDABLES 3 Rated PG-13 You know exactly what sort of demographic a movie is going for when it augments its regular cast of geriatric mercs with a “new generation of badasses” that includes Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson, Kelsey Grammer, Wesley Snipes and Antonio Banderas. Hey, some of those guys didn’t even have their AARP card when Clinton was president! Not that they’d want to remember those years anyway, since the Expendables franchise continues to exist mostly to provide steady employment for the right-wing pariahs who can’t get work anywhere else in Hollywood – if you believe Gary Oldman. (Do not believe Gary Oldman – Ed.) Come to think of it, Oldman would make a great addition to the cast next time, along with Gary Sinise, John Malkovich and every other poor, persecuted Rethug you hear from regularly, mostly in interviews where they’re complaining that you never hear from them. Expendables 4: War on Christmas, arriving just in time for Ramadan. — S.S.
THE FLUFFY MOVIE Rated PG-13 Gabriel Iglesias likes to point out how hard it was to break out of the “ethnic comedian” ghetto, so this document of his world tour to more than 23 countries must be sweet vindication of his unwavering belief that his material had universal appeal. Congrats, Fluffy! You really forced the entertainment industry to examine its deeply held prejudices. Can’t wait to see what kind of box-office numbers your movie racks up at theaters in the worst neighborhood of every American city. — S.S. GET ON UP Rated PG-13 If Hollywood believes two things, it’s that black folks don’t go to comic-book movies and white folks don’t go to movies about black folks. All of which explains why this James Brown biopic is the sacrificial lamb that’s been scheduled against Disney/Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy. In real life, it’s going to be my white music-snob friends filling in my black nerd buddies as to what kind of job Chadwick Boseman did as the King of Soul, and if they should give this flick a look when it’s on Starz four months from now. Heck, we might even invite them over to watch it – especially if Charlie Crist wins and we’re feeling really liberal! — S.S. THE GIVER Rated PG-13 Here’s one to dither over on Throwback Thursday: Plans to turn the dystopian YA hit The Giver into a movie were first hatched way back in 1994. Not only did half the Expendables still have a sperm count back then, but Richard Linklater had just begun to grow Ellar Coltrane in a petri dish! Now the wait is over, and we can see what kind of work Walden Media has done in adapting Lois Lowry’s oh-so-subtle tale of a conformist society living under the edict of “The Sameness.” Personally, I thought the kids in The Wackness seemed to be having a better time, but I question how committed to “youth concerns” this movie is anyway, since lead character Jonas was 12 in the book but is played onscreen by 25-year-old Brenton Thwaites. Then again, everybody in the source novel of Logan’s Run died at 21 instead of 30, and Michael York gotta eat — S.S. GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY Rated PG-13 As I write this, the San Diego Comic-Con is just getting under way, and I’m bracing myself for all sorts of P.R.
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fog about the future of comics on film, and how DC Entertainment is going to start giving Marvel Studios a run for its money any minute now. So as a reality check, let me just point this out: “Winning” is when you can wring the most anticipated movie of the summer out of a property so obscure even the editors of The Comic Book Price Guide have to look it up. By Christmas, Rocket Raccoon may be firmly entrenched as a star of the Disney-acquisition firmament, making “possible Star Wars crossover” the hot ridiculous rumor du jour. Meanwhile, DC’s entire release slate for the next five years will have shifted three more times, just because Olaf the Snowman blew on it really hard. God, how I love a photo finish. — S.S. HERCULES Rated PG-13 Having douche auteur Brett Ratner direct Dwayne Johnson is the kind of collaboration cineplex hecklers dream of. Better still, their take on the Hercules myth (excuse me, I mean “graphic novel”) jumps on the grim-’n’-gritty bandwagon by promising no supernatural story elements will be included – just the emotional turmoil of a strongman well past his prime, reduced to profiting off his inspiring past. Fun fact: When Hercules completed his 12 labors, he was “dead broke.” — S.S. THE HUNDRED-FOOT JOURNEY Rated PG Boy, there’s nobody better equipped to capitalize on the foodie phenomenon than Lasse Hallstrom, who has for decades been championing the feasibility of solving all of life’s conflicts by shoving stuff in your mouth. (From Chocolat to What’s Eating Gilbert Grape to The Cider House Rules to Salmon Fishing in the Yemen, the guy can’t even make a picture without mentioning food in the title. Talk about obsessed!) In Hallstrom’s latest, restaurateur Helen Mirren’s hostility toward a new rival (the great actor Om Puri) is overcome by the power of his entrees, which are just too damn good for anybody to remember what they were supposed to be fighting about. Fun related fact: In real life, obesity causes 300,000 deaths per year. — S.S. INTO THE STORM Rated PG-13 If it’s 2014, it must be time for an ersatz Twister reboot, with another bunch of crazy storm chasers boldly venturing straight into the thick of one of nature’s little shit Slurpees. If this thing becomes a hit, maybe Universal Studios can just slap a new logo on their Twister attraction instead of gutting it to make room for that Dance Moms Experience show I’ve been betting on for two years running now. Fun fact deux: The director of Into the Storm, Steven Quale, cohelmed Aliens of the Deep, another of James Can’t-QuiteGet-Past-Titanic Cameron’s deep-sea docs. Oh, how I love Ouroboros Week. — S.S. I ORIGINS Rated R It’s long been thought our eyes are as unique as our fingerprints, but recently there’s been some questions about the precise individuality of the whorls and ridges of our skin. Anyway … in this sci-fi thriller, a molecular biologist finds evidence about eyeballs that threatens to up-end all we know about what’s sui generis and what’s not. Michael Pitt and Steven Yeun costar. — M.D. KICK Not Rated This Bollywood crime drama stars Randeep Hooda and Jacqueline Fernandez. In Hindi. LET’S BE COPS Rated R The action-comedy co-stars Jake Johnson (New Girl) and Damon Wayans Jr., who inherited his dad’s good looks and, we hope, comedic talents. They’re pals Ryan and Justin, who are going to a costume party dressed up as cops,
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with all the shiny gear cops like to have hanging off their highly polished Sam Browne belts. The outfits must be authentic-looking, because the two slackers are taken for real flatfoots and the hilarity ensues. — M.D. LUCY **** Rated R Scarlett Johansson stars as Lucy, a very pretty, party-ready American girl, whose trip to China is cut short after she hooks up with the wrong guy. This nutty film is what a comic book movie would be like if it didn’t have to follow the constraints of neatly establishing a future franchise or following any “rules” of the genre. After a dialogueheavy opening, with a conversation establishing the film’s setting and Lucy’s scary predicament, it’s off and running, hurtling from one bizarre scenario to another. As Lucy’s journey becomes increasingly dire, writer/director Luc Besson begins inserting footage of wild animals, nature and bits of Morgan Freeman’s Professor Norman lecturing on the possibilities of the human mind. It may be trashy and absurd but make no mistake, Lucy is fearless. — Barry Wurst II
MAGIC IN THE MOONLIGHT **G@ Rated PG-13 Reviewed in this issue. A MOST WANTED MAN ***G Rated R A starring role in this espionage thriller is a fitting farewell for the great actor Philip Seymour Hoffman, who died last February. Directed by Anton Corbijn, who successfully helmed The American with George Clooney, and adapted from the novel by John le Carré, A Most Wanted Man is a smart, gripping thriller that carefully navigates its way through subtle twists and delicious ambiguity. Hoffman plays Günther Bachmann, a German espionage agent at odds with his superiors and American counterpart Martha Sullivan (Robin Wright) over how to track down a high-profile Muslim terrorist. They want to hammer every threat into the ground while Günther prefers to watch, wait and seek the cooperation of lesser offenders. His anti-Bush philosophy is to seek out a “minnow to catch a barracuda to catch a shark,” but that proves difficult, especially in Hamburg, where Mohammed Atta planned his evil. Wright, channeling the charm and ruthlessness of her House of Cards character, is a fine foil to Hoffman. Willem Dafoe, as bank manager Tom Brue, who’s unwittingly caught in the middle of terrorist activities, also shines. Only Rachel McAdams, as human-rights lawyer Annabel Richter, seems miscast, a lightweight instead of the required rock. (Jessica Chastain must have been busy.) Her shortcomings are even more obvious when she’s up against Hoffman, who, though not given much to do dramatically, is riveting, even with a German accent, which the film employs instead of the German language itself. — Cameron Meier PLANES: FIRE & RESCUE Rated PG In a summer this shitty, even a sequel to a Disney flick that almost didn’t get a theatrical release can now get a theatrical release. This time, airborne racing legend Dusty has to deal with the realization that structural infirmities are sounding the death-knell for his career, forcing him to explore a more altruistic way of spending his time. A quarter-century ago, that would have been my cue to crack wise about A Million Points of Light Planes; instead, I’m just gonna call this one a movie about transitioning and let the chips fall where they may. — S.S. THE PURGE: ANARCHY Rated R Did you know the Eagles’ track “In the City” began as a Joe Walsh tune that played over the closing credits of The Warriors? I mention this because talking about The
A&E // MOVIES
GREGORY CREWDSON BRIEF ENCOUNTERS Aug. 14, Sun-Ray Cinema Warriors is way less depressing than contemplating this movie, a similarly themed gotta-make-it-home exploitation flick way too close on the heels of 2013’s surprisingly solid class-warfare sleeper, The Purge. Trailer-park droogies, trailer-park droogies, come out to play – preferably once a year, so Universal can Saw the crap out of this thing.— S.S. SEX TAPE Rated R In this screwball comedy, marrieds Jason Segel and Cameron Diaz struggle to contain the fallout from their experiment with erotic video. Director/co-writer Jake Kasdan made the underrated Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, which had way more than double entendres going for it. It’s so hard calling balls and strikes. — S.S. STEP UP ALL IN Rated PG-13 The fourth installment is an “all-star” edition that brings past competitors together for a make-or-break dance-off in Vegas. Since my experience with the “all-star” concept has been defined less by Major League Baseball and more by Project Runway, I hope somebody on the Step Up production team laid out for the biggest bus he could find, so the contestants have something nice and shiny under which they can throw one another when the time comes for them to advance. — S.S. TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES Rated PG-13 OK, this is an honest-to-goodness reboot, with Michael Bay the man in charge of introducing the heroes in a half-shell to a new generation. Michael Bay for the Jim Henson Company? It isn’t my idea of a nifty trade, either. And Bay has brought in Megan Fox so she can play intrepid reporter April O’Neil – so much for our confidence that the abundant bad blood between the two of them would relegate them to polluting
the cinematic gene pool separately and individually. Honestly, watching this is like watching East and West Germany reunite. Or the Eagles. — S.S. TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION Rated PG-13 The fourth Trannies flick has a new cast of humans, led by unencumbered-by-self-awareness Mark Wahlberg. Marky’s performance is quite the meme thanks to the line “I tink we just found a Transfomah!” — S.S. WHAT IF Rated PG-13 The presence of Ol’ Ruby Sparks herself, Zoe Kazan, as the female lead is the hipster talking point here, and having her play opposite Daniel Radcliffe (aka The Ever-Expanding Wand of Harry Potter) is good for some mainstream ink. But the truly clued-in will be most enticed by the source material: Toothpaste and Cigars, a play co-written by mighty Fringecircuit monologist TJ Dawe. While the play has toured Canada, it was never brought to Florida, which means that Dawe’s Sunshine-State acolytes essentially have a whole new work to dig into during the theatrical off-season. Seriously, it’s like Christmas for kids who get beat up a lot. — S.S. WISH I WAS HERE Rated R Why did it take Zach Braff a decade to follow up Garden State? Maybe because Cameron Crowe hasn’t shot anything worth ripping off since then, nyuk nyuk. Or ’cause Braff had to wait for Kickstarter to be invented. Whatever. All that matters is that we finally get to see his portrayal of an actor/husband/father at a personal crossroads. Oh, and Mandy Patinkin plays Braff’s father, which should make for a fun game of “Who Do I Want to Hit More?” — S.S.
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A&E // ARTS JAMIE KENNEDY 8 p.m. Aug. 14 & 15, 8 & 10 p.m. Aug. 16 The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, $20-$25, 292-4242, comedyzone.com
PERFORMANCE
ALFRED HITCHCOCK’S 39 STEPS Hitchcock’s masterpiece is a mash-up of broad physical comedy, spy thriller and zany zingers. It’s staged at 8 p.m. (dinner 6 p.m.) Aug. 19-24, 26-31, Sept. 2-7; 1:15 p.m. (brunch 11 a.m.) Aug. 16, 23, 30 and Sept. 6; 2 p.m. (brunch noon) Aug. 17, 24, 31 and Sept. 7 at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $35-$55, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. MOTHERHOOD OUT LOUD This play, based on different views on parenthood of several American writers, is staged at 7:30 p.m. Aug. 14-16, 19, 21-23, 26, 28-30 and 2 p.m. Aug. 17, 24 and 31 on Limelight Theatre’s Matuza Main Stage, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, $25, 825-1164, limelight-theatre.org. WATER BY THE SPOONFUL This Pulitzer Prize-winning drama, focusing on the lives of those touched by substance abuse, including an Iraqi war veteran. 8 p.m. Aug. 22 and 23, 28-30 and Sept. 4-6 at Players by the Sea, 106 N. Sixth St., Jax Beach, $25-$28, 249-0289, playersbythesea.org. THE CIRCLE Tina Lifford, of the NBC comedy Parenthood, aims to inspire women with her original play on life affirmation, staged at 6 p.m. Aug. 24 and 25 at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, call for pricing, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com.
COMEDY
JOHN DEBOER The comedian, a brief contestant on Last Comic Standing, performs at 8:04 p.m. Aug. 15 and 16 at the Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., $20-$25, 646-4277, jacksonvillecomedy.com. JAMIE KENNEDY Malibu’s Most Wanted bad white boy rapper and host of his own sketch comedy show takes the stage at 8 p.m. Aug. 14 and 15, 8 and 10 p.m. Aug. 16 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, $20-$25, 292-4242, comedyzone.com. MICHELLE MILLER HARINGTON Harington does “clean Christian comedy” at 8 p.m. Aug. 15 and 7 p.m. Aug. 16 at Latitude 360, 10370 Philips Highway, Southside, 365-5555, latitude360.com.
JULIE SCOGGINS “The Queen of Clubs”Scoggins, heard on XM/Sirius Blue Collar radio, takes the stage at 8:04 p.m. Aug. 21-23, and at 10:10 p.m. Aug. 23 at the Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $6-$25, 646-4277, jacksonvillecomedy.com. MAD COWFORD IMPROV Weekly PG-13-rated improv shows, based on audience suggestion, are held at 8:15 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at Northstar Substation, 119 E. Bay St., Downtown, $5, 233-2359, madcowford.com. HOT POTATO COMEDY HOUR Open mic comedy is held at 9 p.m. every Monday at rain dogs., 1045 Park St., Riverside, free, 379-4969.
CALLS, WORKSHOPS & EVENTS
ST. AUGUSTINE ART & CRAFT FESTIVAL This call is for artists to secure space for the 49th annual festival. Application deadline is Aug. 15. Apply at staugustineartfestival.com, 824-2310. HOLD ME CLOSER, TONY DANZA Open house and class registration are held for all types of dance, from ballet to flamenco, tap to creative movement. Adult classes are also available. 9 a.m. Aug. 16, Abella’s School of Dance, 1711 Lakeside Ave., Ste. 9, St. Augustine, 810-5670. BLOODY BLOODY CIVIL WAR Third on Third presents Lee Bledsoe, who discusses The Bloody Business of Civil War Surgery at 6 p.m. Aug. 15 at Amelia Island Museum of History, 233 S. Third St., Fernandina Beach, free for members, $5 donation for nonmembers, 261-7378, ameliaislandmuseum.org. ROLLERGIRLS WANT YOU Experienced and rookie rollergirls (and guys) try their skills at Jacksonville RollerGirls recruitment night at 8:30 p.m. Aug. 20 at Skate Station Funworks of Mandarin, 3461 Kori Rd., jacksonvillerollergirls.com. GREAT SOUTHERN TAILGATE COOKOFF Barbecue masters team up for the chance to win a piece of the $20,000 in prize money offered at this annual cookoff. There are beer tastings, and games and activities for the kiddies, too. The Swingin’ Medallions, Beech Street Blues Band, Bama Gamblers, Rockit Fly and Robin Kinsey perform.
3-7:30 p.m. Aug. 22, 10 a.m.-5:30 p.m. Aug. 23, Main Beach, Fernandina Beach, 277-4369, gstailgatecookoff.com. PORTRAIT PAINTING SESSION Live model portrait painting with Elbert Shubert is held 9 a.m. Aug. 23 at The Art Center II, 229 N. Hogan St., $5 for members, $10 for non-members, artists bring supplies. NUTCRACKER DANCE AUDITIONS St. Augustine Ballet opens auditions for The Nutcracker, for male and female dancers studying ballet, regardless of studio affiliation. Registration is at 8:30 a.m. Aug. 23; auditions at 9 a.m. at Abella’s School of Dance, 711 Lakeside Ave., Ste. 9, St. Augustine, $25 nonrefundable fee. Performances are held Dec. 20 and 21 at Flagler College. 824-1746, info@saintaugustineballet.com. ABET AUDITION Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre holds auditions for the play One Man, Two Guvnors, by Richard Bean, from 1-4 p.m. on Aug. 23, and from 3-6 p.m. Aug. 24 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd, Atlantic Beach, 249-7177, abettheatre.com CLUB BLUE DODGEBALL A group of young professionals supporting the Boys & Girls Club of Northeast Florida hold a dodgeball tournament, asking companies, civic groups, volunteer organizations and others to support the needs of at-risk children. Registration is $50 per team by Aug. 15, the tournament is held at 1 p.m. Aug. 23, at the NFL YET Boys & Girls Club, 555 W. 25th St., Springfield, 396-4435, jasminew@bgcnf. DINNER WITH HENRY VON GENK III Renowned artist Von Genk shares stories, inspiration and samples of his artwork over dinner and drinks, 6 p.m. Aug. 26 at Eleven South, 216 11th Ave S., Jax Beach, $100 for members, $110 for nonmembers, 280-0614. MURDER AMONG FRIENDS AUDITIONS Auditions are held for the comedy/mystery Murder Among Friends at 7 p.m. Aug. 31 and Sept. 1 at Orange Park Community Theatre, 2900 Moody Ave., Orange Park, 443-2633, opct.org. SUNDAY PAINT DAY Combating the recent cuts to art programs in Duval County schools, free art classes are offered to children of all ages, 5 p.m. every Sun. at LIYF Clothing & Accessories, 2870 University Blvd. W., Lakewood, vegan and vegetarian snacks, free, 865-630-0358. FIGURE DRAWING Live model figure drawing is offered 7 p.m. every Tue. at The Art Center II, $5 for members, $10 for
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Best BBQ
IN JACKSONVILLE Winner Best BBQ Jax Truckies!
non-members, artists bring supplies. ACTEEN STAGE LAB Children and teens in grades 6-12 learn street style and ambush theater at 6:30 p.m. every Wed. at Limelight Theatre, $80/session, 825-1164, limelighttheatre.org.
CLASSICAL & JAZZ
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A DIFFERENT DRUM BEAT Legendary jazz drummer John Betsch performs with former Yellowcard drummer Longineu Parsons at 7:30 p.m. at Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd, 1100 Stockton St., Riverside, 389-6222, riversidefinearts.org JAZZ IN PONTE VEDRA The Gary Starling Group (Carol Sheehan, Billy Thornton, Peter Miles) performs 7:30-10:30 p.m. every Thur. at Table 1, 330 A1A N., 280-5515. JAZZ IN RIVERSIDE Trumpeter Ray Callendar and guitarist Taylor Roberts are featured at 9:30 p.m. every Thur. at Kickbacks Gastropub, 910 King St., 388-9551. JAZZ IN MANDARIN Boril Ivanov Trio plays at 7 p.m. every Thur. and pianist David Gum plays at 7 p.m. every Fri. at Tree Steakhouse, 11362 San Jose Blvd., 262-0006. JAX BEACH JAZZ Live jazz is presented 6-9 p.m. every Fri. at Landshark Café, 1728 Third St. N., 246-6024. JAZZ IN NEPTUNE BEACH Live jazz is featured 7:30-9:30 p.m. every Sat. at Lillie’s Coffee Bar, 200 First St., 249-2922. JAZZ IN ST. AUGUSTINE The House Cats, 9:30 p.m. every Sat., Stogies Club & Listening Room, 36 Charlotte St., 826-4008. JAZZ IN ARLINGTON Jazzland Café features live music at 8 p.m. every Sat. and 6-9 p.m. every Tue. at 1324 University Blvd. N., 240-1009, jazzlandcafe.com. JAZZ IN AVONDALE The Casbah Café features The Von Barlow Trio and Third Bass at 9 p.m. every Sun., 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966. JAZZ IN ST. AUGUSTINE Live jazz is featured nightly at Rhett’s Piano Bar & Brasserie, 66 Hypolita St., 825-0502.
ART WALKS, FESTIVALS & MARKETS
DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts and crafts and local produce are offered 10 a.m.-2 p.m. every Fri. at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 353-1188. RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET River Stage Kids Day features Ronan School of Music 10:30 a.m., FSU AcaBelles 11:45 a.m., Tone Revival 1:15 p.m., Brother Nature 2:30 p.m. on Aug. 16. Local and regional art, local music, food artists and a farmers market are featured 10 a.m.-4 p.m. every Sat. under the Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com. FIRST WEDNESDAY ART WALK The downtown art walk, held 5-9 p.m. every first Wed., features more than 13 live music venues, more than 13 hotspots open after 9 p.m. and 50 total participating venues, spanning 15 blocks in Downtown Jacksonville. downtownjacksonville.org/ marketing; iloveartwalk.com. ARTRAGEOUS ART WALK Downtown Fernandina Beach galleries are open for self-guided tours, 5:30-8:30 p.m. every second Sat., 277-0717, ameliaisland.com. JAX BEACH ART WALK More than 30 local artists display works, 5-9 p.m. every second Tue., along First Street between Beach Boulevard and Fifth Avenue North, Jax Beach, betterjaxbeach.com/jax-beach-art-walk.html. NORTH BEACHES ART WALK Galleries of Atlantic and Neptune beaches are open 5-9 p.m. Aug. 21 and every third Thur. from Sailfish Drive in Atlantic Beach to Neptune Beach and Town Center, 753-9594, nbaw.org. UPTOWN SATURDAY NIGHT The self-guided tour features galleries, antique stores and shops open from 5-9 p.m. Aug. 30 and every last Sat. in St. Augustine’s San Marco District, 824-3152. FIRST FRIDAY ART WALK The tour of Art Galleries of St. Augustine is held every first Fri., with more than 15 galleries participating, 829-0065.
MUSEUMS
ALEXANDER BREST MUSEUM & GALLERY Jacksonville University, 2800 University Blvd. N., Arlington, 256-7371, arts.ju.edu. The permanent collection features carved ivory, Chinese porcelain, pre-Colombian artifacts and more. AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY 233 S. Third St., Fernandina Beach, 261-7378, ameliamuseum.org. Third on Third presents Lee Bledsoe, who discusses The Bloody Business of Civil War Surgery at 6 p.m. Aug. 15. The children’s exhibit Discovery Ship allows kids to pilot the ship, hoist flags and learn about the history of Fernandina’s harbor. CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummer.org. Collector’s Choice: Inside the Hearts and Minds of Regional Collectors, is on display through Sept. 14. The Human Figure: Sculptures
28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 13-19, 2014
by Enzo Torcoletti is on display through September. A Commemoration of the Civil Rights Movement: Photography from the High Museum of Art is on display through Nov. 2. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992, rain.org/~karpeles/jaxfrm.html. The permanent collection includes many rare manuscripts. MANDARIN MUSEUM & HISTORICAL SOCIETY 11964 Mandarin Rd., 268-0784, mandarinmuseum.net. The exhibit The Maple Leaf, which features artifacts and information from the Civil War era, runs through December. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 366-6911, mocajacksonville.com. The exhibit New York Times Magazine Photographs, curated by Kathy Ryan and Lesley Martin, runs through Aug. 24. Scott Ingram exhibits a survey collection of drawings and objects through Aug. 24. Admission is free from 5-9 p.m. every Thur., through Aug. 24. MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank, 396-6674, themosh.org. Uncovering the Past: Archaeological Discoveries of North Florida is on display through August. First Friday Cosmic Concerts (moshplanetarium.org) feature Laser Magic 7 p.m., Laser Vinyl 8 p.m., Dark Side of the Moon (Pink Floyd) 9 p.m., Led Zeppelin 10 p.m. on Sept. 5; $5. WORLD GOLF HALL OF FAME & MUSEUM 1 World Golf Place, St. Augustine, worldgolfhalloffame.org. Honoring the Legacy: A Tribute to African-Americans in Golf – an exhibit featuring photographs, audio, video and memorabilia from the late 1800s to the present – is featured in the WGHOF permanent collection.
GALLERIES
ADELE GRAGE CULTURAL CENTER 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-5828. Neptune Beach artist sketches her surroundings, and displays her work through August, with a reception at 5 p.m. Aug. 21. THE ART CENTER PREMIER GALLERY Bank of America Tower, 50 N. Laura St., Downtown, 355-1757. Sand and Sea: Two Elements, Infinite Visions featuring art that depicts water and water sports, is on display through Sept. 2. BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS 869 Stockton St., Ste. 1, Riverside, 855-1181. Eric Gillyard’s exhibit of new collage works, Vagaries of Fiction, is displayed through August. 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201, Jax Beach. CoRK Arts District’s Crystal Floyd displays mixed media, terrariums and specialedition screen prints created with Bold Bean espresso mixed with the ink, through August. THE CULTURAL CENTER AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, 280-0614, ccvb.org. The collection Big Cats and Wolves, life-size paintings by artist Diane Travis, is on display through Aug. 15. The works of figurative painter Susanna Richter-Helman and wood sculptor Peter Blunt are displayed in the center’s main gallery Aug. 22-Sept. 19; an opening reception is held at 6 p.m. Aug. 22. FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928, firststreetgalleryart.com. Painter Randy Pitts and glass artist Tracy Womack display their works through Sept. 2. PLUM GALLERY 9 Aviles St., St. Augustine, 825-0069, plumartgallery.com. American Craftsmen, an exhibit of mixed-media sculptures, handcrafted furniture, stained glass and linocut prints by Nicola Barsaleau, Meagan Chaney Gumpert, Jessie Cook, Duke Darnold and Rachel deCuba, is on display through August. ROTUNDA GALLERY 500 San Sebastian View, St. Augustine, 829-9721. An exhibit of black-and-white photographs from about 30 nonprofit organizations in St. Johns County is on display through Oct. 23. ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., 824-2310, staaa.org. Nature in all its forms and the wildlife that inhabit the great outdoors are celebrated in the fi fth annual Nature and Wildlife Exhibition, on display through August. SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 201 N. Hogan St., Ste. 100, Downtown, 553-6361, southlightgallery.com. The Augustines, an exhibit featuring the works of artists at St. Augustine’s Butterfield Garage, continues through Aug. 27.
AUTHORS & LECTURES
AUTHOR VISIT AT MAIN LIBRARY As part of 50th anniversary of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 commemoration, Marsha Dean Phelts, author of An American Beach for African Americans and The American Beach Cookbook, discusses her books and memories of the Civil Rights era at 2 p.m. on Aug. 16 at the Main Library, 303 N. Laura St., Downtown, 630-4655, jpl.coj.net. TO EVERY BIRD, THERE IS A SEASON Stefanie Nagid, Audubon Florida’s Northeast Policy associate, discusses the changes in the bird community that occur throughout the year, and birds found in Northeast Florida at 6 p.m. Aug. 21 at St. Augustine Art Association, 22 Marine St., St. Augustine, free, 824-2310.
DINING DIRECTORY
To list your restaurant, contact your account manager or Sam Taylor at 904.260.9770 ext. 111 or staylor@folioweekly.com. DINING DIRECTORY KEY
Average Entrée Cost $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8- $14 $$$ = $15- $22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted free FW Bite Club tasting. Join: fwbiteclub.com. BOJ = 2013 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot
AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH, YULEE
29 SOUTH EATS, 29 S. Third St., 277-7919, 29southrestau rant.com. F In historic downtown, the popular bistro’s Chef Scotty Schwartz serves traditional regional cuisine with a modern twist. $$ L Tue.-Sat.; D Mon.-Sat.; R Sun. BRETT’S Waterway Café, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality in an upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB K L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com. F In a historic building, the family-owned spot offers worldly fare: veggie burgers, fresh seafood, made-from-scratch desserts. Dine in or out on oak-shaded patio. Karibrew Pub offers beer brewed onsite. $$ FB K TO R, Sun.; L D Daily CIAO ITALIAN BISTRO, 302 Centre St., 206-4311, ciaobistroluca.com. Owners Luka and Kim Misciasci offer fine dining: veal piccata, rigatoni Bolognese, antipasto. Specialties: chicken Ciao, homemade-style meat lasagna. $ L Fri. & Sat.; D Nightly DAVID’S Restaurant & Lounge, 802 Ash St., 310-6049, ameliaislanddavids.com. Fine dining in historic district. Fresh seafood, prime aged meats, rack of lamb served in an elegant, chic spot. $$$$ FB D Wed.-Mon. DICK’S Wings, 474313 E. S.R. 200, 491-3469. 450077 S.R. 200, Callahan, 879-0993. BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA. ELIZABETH POINTE LODGE, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. BOJ. Award-winning B&B offers elegant seaside dining, indoors or outside. Hot buffet breakfast daily. Homestyle soups, specialty sandwiches, salads, desserts. $$$ BW K B L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianes cafe.com. F In renovated 1887 shotgun house. Jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, vegan/vegetarian items. Dine in or on porch. $$ FB K B L D Daily LULU’S at Thompson House, 11 S. Seventh St., 432-8394, lulusamelia.com. F Creative lunch: po’boys, salads, little plates. Dinner: fresh local seafood, Fernandina shrimp. Reservations. $$$ BW K TO R Sun.; L D Tue.-Sat. MARCHÉ BURETTE, 6800 First Coast Hwy., 491-4834, omnihotels.com. Old-fashioned gourmet food market/deli, in Spa & Shops, Omni Amelia Island Plantation. Continental breakfast; lunch features flatbreads. $$$ BW K TO L D Daily MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriverpizza.net. F BOJ. Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, by the pie or the slice. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE MUSTARD SEED CAFE, 833 TJ Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Snail of Approval. Casual organic eatery and juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juice, coffee, herbal tea. $$ TO B L Mon.-Sat. PALATE Restaurant & Raw Bar, 614 Centre St., 432-7690, palateamelia.com. The new place features upscale Southerninfluenced cuisine and a raw bar. $$ FB K TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE PECAN ROLL BAKERY, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815, thepecanrollbakery.com. The bakery near the historic district has sweet and savory pastries, cookies, cakes, bagels, breads, all made from scratch. $ K TO B L Wed.-Sun. PLAE, 80 Amelia Village Cir., 277-2132, plaefl.net. Bite Club. Omni Plantation Spa & Shops. Bistro-style venue serves whole fried fish and duck breast. Outdoor dining. $$$ FB L Tue.-Sat.; D Nightly THE SALTY PELICAN Bar & Grill, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F See ICW sunsets from second-story outdoor bar. Owners T.J. and Al offer local seafood, Mayport shrimp, fish tacos, po’boys, original broiled cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F BOJ. Oceanfront place serves awardwinning handmade crab cakes, fresh seafood, fried pickles. Outdoor dining, open-air 2nd floor, balcony. $$ FB K L D Daily TASTY’S FRESH BURGERS & FRIES, 710 Centre St., 321-0409, tastysamelia.com. BOJ. In historic district. Fresh fast-food alternative, combining the freshest meats, hand-cut fries, homemade sauces, hand-spun shakes. $ BW K L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. 8th St., 261-6310. F This spot in an old gas station offers blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L Mon.-Sat. THE VERANDAH, 6800 First Coast Hwy., 321-5050, omni hotels.com. Extensive menu of fresh local seafood and steaks; signature entrée is Fernandina shrimp. Many herbs and spices are from onsite garden. $$$ FB K D Nightly
ARLINGTON, REGENCY
DICK’S Wings, 9119 Merrill Rd., 745-9300. BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA.
LA NOPALERA, 8818 Atlantic Blvd., 720-0106. SEE MANDARIN. LARRY’S SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd., Ste. 5, 724-5802. F SEE ORANGE PARK. THE SHEIK DELI, 9720 Atlantic Blvd., 721-2660. Familyowned-and-operated, Sheik restaurants have served Northeast Florida for 40+ years, with a full breakfast (from pitas to country plates) and a lunch menu. $ TO B L D Mon.-Sat.
Brian and Melanie Grimley of Lulu’s at the Thompson House in Fernandina Beach enjoy a glass of Chateau Guiot. Their menu includes sandwiches, po’boys, salads and local shrimp and crab dishes. Photo: Dennis Ho
AVONDALE, ORTEGA
BAGEL LOVE, 4114 Herschel St., Ste. 121, 634-7253, bagel lovejax.com. BOJ. Locally-owned-and-operated spot has Northern-style bagels, cream cheeses, sandwiches, wraps, subs, bakery items. Fresh-squeezed lemonade, coffee, tea. $ K TO B L Daily THE CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966, the casbahcafe.com. F BOJ. Middle Eastern/Mediterranean fare. Patio, hookah lounge, bellydancers. $$ BW L D Daily CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATE, 3543 St. Johns Ave., 829-5790. F In Green Man Gourmet. Wines, spices, fresh fruit ice pops and Belgian chocolates. SEE PONTE VEDRA. $$ TO THE FOX Restaurant, 3580 St. Johns Ave., 387-2669. F Owners Ian & Mary Chase offer fresh diner fare: burgers, meatloaf, fried green tomatoes, desserts. Breakfast all day. Local landmark for 50+ years. $$ BW K L D Daily HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned and operated for 20+ years, the American pub serves 1/2-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA, 4530 St. Johns, 388-8828. F See Mandarin. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club. BOJ. SEE BEACHES. MOJO NO. 4 Urban BBQ & Whiskey Bar, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. PINEGROVE Market & Deli, 1511 Pine Grove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F BOJ. 40+ years. Burgers, Cuban sandwiches, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher cuts USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. $ BW TO B L D Mon.-Sat. RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurant orsay.com. BOJ. French/Southern bistro serves steak frites, mussels and Alsatian pork chops in an elegant setting, with an emphasis on locally grown organic ingredients. Snail of Approval. Craft cocktails. $$$ FB K R, Sun.; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simply saras.net. F Down-home fare, from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Mon.-Sat., B Sat.
BAYMEADOWS
AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 7825 Baymeadows Way, 733-4040. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. BROADWAY Ristorante & Pizzeria, Ste. 3, 10920 Baymeadows Rd. E., 519-8000, broadwayfl.com. F Family-owned-and-operated Italian pizzeria serves calzones, stromboli, wings, brick-oven-baked pizza, subs. $$ BW K TO L D Daily INDIA’S Restaurant, 9802 Baymeadows, Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajax.com. F Authentic Indian cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetable dishes, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L Mon.-Sat.; D Nightly LA NOPALERA, 8206 Philips Hwy., 732-9433. F SEE MANDARIN. LARRY’S SUBS, 3928 Baymeadows, 737-7740. 8616 Baymeadows, 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 11030 Baymeadows, 260-2791. SEE MANDARIN. PIZZA PALACE Restaurant & Pizzeria, 3928 Baymeadows, 527-8649, pizzapalacejax.com. F Relaxed, family-owned place serves homestyle cuisine. Local faves: spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, ravioli, lasagna, parmigiana. Outside dining; HD TVs. $$ BW K TO L D Daily ZESTY INDIA, 8358 Point Meadows Dr., 329-3676, zesty india.com. Asian methods meld with European template to create tandoori lamb chops, rosemary tikka. Vegetarian items cooked separately in vegetable oil. $ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun.
BEACHES
(Locations are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)
AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Ctr., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002, alspizza.com. F BOJ. Celebrating 20+ years, Al’s is a repeat Best Pizza winner in our annual readers’ poll. New York-style and gourmet pizzas, baked dishes. All-day HH Mon.-Thur. $ FB K TO L D Daily
BOLD BEAN Coffee Roasters, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201. BOJ. SEE RIVERSIDE. BUDDHA THAI BISTRO, 301 10th Ave. N., 712-4444, buddhathaibistro.com. The proprietors are from Thailand; every dish is made with fresh ingredients. $$ FB TO L D Daily BURRITO GALLERY Express, 1333 Third St. N., 242-8226. BOJ. SEE DOWNTOWN. CASA MARIA, 2429 S. Third St., 372-9000, casamariajax. com. F Family-owned-and-operated place offers authentic Mexican fare: fajitas and seafood dishes, hot sauces made inhouse. The specialty is tacos de asada. $ FB K L D Daily CULHANE’S Irish Public House, 967 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 249-9595, culhanesirishpub.com. Bite Club. Upscale pub and restaurant owned and managed by sisters from County Limerick, Ireland. Shepherd’s pie, corned beef; gastropub menu. $$ FB K R Sat. & Sun.; L Fri.-Sun.; D Tue.-Sun. EUROPEAN STREET, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001. SEE RIVERSIDE.
FLYING IGUANA Taqueria & Tequila Bar, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680, flyingiguana.com. F Latin American fusion, Southwestern-influenced: tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana sandwiches. 100+ tequilas. $ FB L D Daily LANDSHARK CAFE, 1728 Third St. N., 246-6024, land sharkcafe.com. F Locally owned & operated. Fresh, off-the-boat local seafood, fish tacos, houseground burgers, wings, handcut fries, tater tots; daily specials. $$ FB K L D Daily; R Sun. LA NOPALERA, 1222 Third St. S., 372-4495. F SEE MANDARIN. LARRY’S SUBS, 657 N. Third St., 247-9620. F SEE ORANGE PARK.
LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., Beaches Town Ctr., NB, 249-2922, lilliescoffeebar.com. F Locally roasted coffee, eggs, bagels, flatbreads, sandwiches, desserts. Dine indoors or out, patio and courtyard. $$ BW TO B L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com. F Bite Club. BOJ. Hoagies, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers. Nonstop HH. $ FB K TO L D Daily METRO Diner, 1534 Third St. N., 853-6817. BOJ. SEE SAN MARCO.
MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., Beaches Town Ctr., NB, 249-5573, mezzarestaurantandbar.com. F Near-the-ocean eatery, 20+ years. Casual bistro fare: gourmet wood-fired pizzas, nightly specials. Dine inside or on the patio. Valet parking. $$$ FB K D Mon.-Sat. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ Pit & Blues Bar, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636, mojobbq.com. F BOJ. Pulled pork, Carolinastyle barbecue, Delta fried catfish, all the sides. $$ FB K TO L D Daily M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Ctr., AB, 241-2599. F BOJ. David and Matthew Medure flip burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes, familiar fare, moderate prices. Dine inside or outside. $$ BW L D Daily NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, AB, 372-4105, nbbistro.com. Bite Club. Neighborhood gem with a chef-driven kitchen serves hand-cut steaks, fresh local seafood, tapas menu. HH. $$$ FB K R Sun.; L D Daily OCEAN 60 Restaurant, Wine Bar & Martini Room, 60 Ocean Blvd., AB, 247-0060, ocean60.com. BOJ. Continental cuisine, fresh seafood, nightly dinner specials and a seasonal menu in a formal dining room or casual Martini Room. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. RAGTIME TAVERN & Seafood Grill, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Ctr., AB, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F For 30+ years, the seafood place has scored many awards in our BOJ readers poll. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily HH. $$ FB L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 1018 Third St. N., 372-4456, saltlifefoodshack.com. BOJ. Specialty items: signature tuna poke bowl, fresh rolled sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp, in a modern open-air space. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SLIDERS Seafood Grille & Oyster Bar, 218 First St., Beaches Town Ctr., NB, 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille. com. Beach-casual. Faves: Fresh fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, ice cream sandwiches. $$ FB K L Sat. & Sun.; D Nightly
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GRILL ME!
DINING DIRECTORY A WEEKLY Q&A WITH PEOPLE IN THE FOOD BIZ
NAME: Spencer Hooker
RESTAURANT: The Kookaburra, 24 Cathedral Pl., Ste. 100, St. Augustine BIRTHPLACE: Wrangell, Alaska YEARS IN THE BIZ: 15 FAVORITE RESTAURANT (other than mine): Gas Full Service, St. Augustine BEST CUISINE STYLE: Indian GO-TO INGREDIENTS: Cumin, Montreal steak seasoning, sea salt IDEAL MEAL: Bhuna Ghost with garlic naan WILL NOT CROSS MY LIPS: Very little INSIDER’S SECRET: Organic coffee should be roasted by a USDA certified organic roaster (like Bold Bean!) CELEBRITY SIGHTING: Willie Nelson! CULINARY TREAT: Lamingtons – white cake dipped in chocolate and coated with coconut
DOWNTOWN
AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 21 W. Church St., 665-7324, akelsdeli.com. F New York-style deli offers freshly made fare: subs (3 Wise Guys, Champ), burgers, gyros, breakfast bowls, ranchero wrap, vegetarian dishes. $ K TO B L Mon.-Fri. BURRITO GALLERY & BAR, 21 E. Adams St., 598-2922, burritogallery.com. BOJ. Southwestern burritos, ginger teriyaki tofu, beef barbacoa, wraps, tacos. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. CASA MARIA, 12961 N. Main St., Ste. 104, 757-6411. F SEE BEACHES.
CHOMP CHOMP, 106 E. Adams St., 762-4667. F Eats at moderate prices – most less than $10. Chef-inspired street food: panko-crusted chicken, burgers, chinois tacos, bahn mi and barbecue. $ L Tue.-Sat.; D Thur.-Sat. FIONN MacCOOL’S Irish Pub & Restaurant, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1547, fionnmacs.com. BOJ. Casual dining with an uptown Irish atmosphere, serving fish and chips, Guinness lamb stew and black-and-tan brownies. $$ FB K L D Daily OLIO MARKET, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com. From-scratch soups, sandwiches. They cure their own bacon, pickle their pickles. Home to duck grilled cheese, seen on Travel Channel’s Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L Mon.-Fri.
FLEMING ISLAND
GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 1915 East-West Pkwy., 541-0009. F BOJ. SEE RIVERSIDE. LA NOPALERA, 1571 C.R. 220, 215-2223. F SEE MANDARIN. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club. BOJ. SEE BEACHES. MOJO Smokehouse, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteys fishcamp.com. F Real fish camp serves gator tail, freshwater river catfish, daily specials, traditional fare, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, motorcycle or car. $ FB K TO L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly YOUR PIE, 1545 C.R. 220, Ste. 125, 379-9771, yourpie. com. Owner Mike Sims has a fast, casual pizza concept: Choose from 3 doughs, 9 sauces, 7 cheeses and 40+ toppings; create their own pizza pie. It goes in a brick oven for 5 minutes and ta-da: It’s your pie. Subs, sandwiches, gelato. $$ BW K TO L D Daily
INTRACOASTAL WEST
AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. DICK’S Wings, 14286 Beach Blvd., 223-0115. F BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA.
LA NOPALERA Mexican Restaurant, 14333 Beach Blvd., Ste. 39, 992-1666. F Tamales, fajitas, pork tacos. Some La Nops have a full bar. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE ORANGE PARK. TIME OUT Sports Grill, 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 223-6999, timeoutsportsgrill.com. F Locally-owned-andoperated. Hand-tossed pizzas, wings, wraps. Daily drink specials, HDTVs, pool tables. Late-night menu. $$ FB L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly
JULINGTON CREEK
DICK’S Wings, 525 S.R. 16, Ste. 101, 825-4540. BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA.
METRO Diner, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F BOJ. SEE SAN MARCO.
PIZZA PALACE, 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, 230-2171. F SEE BAYMEADOWS.
MANDARIN
AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 12926 Gran Bay Pkwy. W., 880-2008. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES.
ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199, athenscafe.com. F All the favorites, from the dolmades (stuffed grape leaves) to the baby shoes (stuffed eggplant). Greek beers. $$ BW L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. BROOKLYN PIZZA, 11406 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 288-9211. 13820 St. Augustine Rd., 880-0020. Brooklyn Special Pizza is a customer favorite. There’s calzones, white
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pizza and homestyle lasagna. $$ BW TO L D Daily THE COFFEE BARD, 9735 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 13, 260-0810, thecoffeebard.com. New world coffeehouse has coffees, breakfast, drinks. $$ TO B L D Tue.-Sun. DICK’S Wings, 10391 Old St. Augustine, 880-7087. F BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA. GIGI’S RESTAURANT, 3130 Hartley Rd., 694-4300, jaxramada.com. BOJ. In Ramada. Prime rib and crab leg buffet Fri. & Sat., blue-jean brunch Sun., daily breakfast, lunch and dinner buffets. $$$ FB B R L D Daily GILMON’S BAKERY, 11362 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 13, 288-8128, gilmonsbakery.com. Custom cakes, cupcakes, gingerbread men, pies, cookies, coffee, tea. $$ B L Tue.-Sat. HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 30, 880-3040, harmoniousmonks.net. F American-style steakhouse: Angus steaks, gourmet burgers, ribs, wraps. $$ FB K L D Mon.-Sat. KAZU Japanese Restaurant, 9965 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 35, 683-9903, kazujapaneserestaurant.com. Wide variety of soups, dumplings, appetizers, salads, bento boxes, sushi, entrées, maki handrolls, sashimi. $$ BW TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA, 11700 San Jose Blvd., 288-0175. F Tamales, fajitas and pork tacos are customer favorites. Some locations offer a full bar. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S SUBS, 11365 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 674-2945. F SEE ORANGE PARK. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. Natural, organic soups, sandwiches, wraps, baked goods, prepared foods, juices and smoothies. Juice, smoothie and coffee bar. All-natural, organic beers, wines. Indoor, outdoor dining. $ BW TO K B L D Daily THE RED ELEPHANT Pizza & Grill, 10131 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 12, 683-3773, redelephantpizza.com. F Casual, familyfriendly eatery serves steaks, seafood, chicken grill specials. Five topping selections. Salads, sandwiches, pizza. Gluten-free friendly. $ FB K L D Daily STEAMIN, 9703 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 493-2020, eatsteamin.com. Classic diner serves steam burgers, fat dogs and chili, 50+ craft beers. $ FB TO B Sat.-Sun.; L D Daily
ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG
ARON’S PIZZA, 650 Park Ave., 269-1007, aronspizza.com. F Family-owned restaurant has eggplant dishes, manicotti, New York-style pizzas. $$ BW K TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS, 1540 Wells Rd., 269-2122. SEE PONTE VEDRA. THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Road, 272-5959, hilltop-club. com. Southern-style fine dining. Specialties: New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. $$$ FB D Tue.-Sat. LA NOPALERA, 9734 Crosshill Blvd., 908-4250. 2024 Kingsley Ave., 276-2776. F SEE MANDARIN. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding, Ste. 15, 272-3553. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove Springs, 284-7789, larryssubs.com. F For 30+ years, all over the area, they pile ’em high and serve ’em fast. Hot/cold subs, soups, salads. $ K TO B L D Daily POMPEII COAL-FIRED PIZZA, 2134 Park Ave., 264-6116. Family-owned-and-operated, offering pizzas and wings made in coal-fired ovens. Espresso, cappuccino. $ BW TO L D Daily THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611, roadhouseonline.net. F Wings, sandwiches, burgers, quesadillas; 35+ years. 75+ imported beers. $ FB L D Daily THE SHEIK, 1994 Kingsley Ave., 276-2677. SEE ARLINGTON.
PONTE VEDRA, NW ST. JOHNS
AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A N., 543-1494. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATE, 145 Hilden Rd., Ste. 122, 829-5790, claudeschocolate.com. Hand-crafted premium Belgian chocolate, fruits, nuts, spices. Cookies, popsicles. $$ TO DICK’S Wings & Grill, 100 Marketside Ave., 829-8134, dickswingsandgrill.com. F BOJ. NASCAR-themed; 365 kinds of wings, half-pound burgers, ribs. $ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S, 830 A1A N., Ste. 6, 273-3993. F SEE ORANGE PARK. RESTAURANT MEDURE, 818 A1A N., 543-3797, restaurant medure.us. Chef David Medure offers global flavors. Small plates, creative drinks, HH twice daily. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat.
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DINING DIRECTORY RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE
AKEL’S DELI, 245 Riverside Ave., 791-3336. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES.
BLACK SHEEP Restaurant, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, black sheep5points.com. BOJ. New American fare with Southern twist, made with locally sourced ingredients. Rooftop bar. $$$ FB R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily BOLD BEAN Coffee Roasters, 869 Stockton St., Stes. 1-2, 855-1181. F BOJ. Small-batch, artisanal coffee roasting. Organic, fair trade. $ BW TO B L Daily DICK’S Wings, 5972 San Juan, 693-9258. SEE PONTE VEDRA. EDGEWOOD BAKERY, 1012 S. Edgewood Ave., 389-8054, edgewoodbakery.com. 66+ years, full-service bakery. Fresh breakfast, from-scratch pastries, petit fours, pies, cakes. Espresso, sandwiches, smoothies, soups. $$ K TO B L Tue.-Sat. EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 2753 Park St., 384-9999, europeanstreet.com. BOJ. 130+ imported beers, 20 on tap. NYC-style classic Reuben, overstuffed sandwiches; salads, soups. Outside seating at some EStreets. $ BW K L D Daily GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F BOJ. Juice bar uses certified organic fruit, vegetables. Artisanal cheese, 300+ craft/import beers, 50 organic wines, produce, meats, wraps, raw, vegan, vitamins and herbs. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. Based on fare of Asian street vendors, peddling authentic dishes from mobile stalls. Chefs here serve the best hawker recipes under one roof. $ BW TO L D Daily KNEAD, 1173 Edgewood Ave. S. New from Bold Bean Coffee owners. Locally-owned, family-run bake shop specializing in made-from-scratch classic pastries, artisan breads, savory pies, specialty sandwiches, seasonal soups. $ TO B L Tue.-Sun. LARRY’S SUBS, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794. 7895 Normandy, 781-7600. 5733 Roosevelt, 446-9500. 8102 Blanding, 779-1933. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO Diner, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., Ortega, 999-4600. F BOJ. SEE SAN MARCO. MONROE’S Smokehouse BAR-B-Q, 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551, monroessmokehousebbq.com. Monroe’s smoked meats include wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey and ribs. Homestyle sides include green beans, baked beans, mac-ncheese, collards. $$ K TO L Mon.-Sat.; D Fri. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F BOJ. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. THE MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434, moss fire.com. F Southwestern fish tacos, chicken enchiladas. HH Mon.-Sat. upstairs lounge, all day Sun. $$ FB K L D Daily O’BROTHERS Irish Pub, 1521 Margaret St., 854-9300, obrothersirishpub.com. F Traditional shepherd’s pie with Stilton crust, Guinness mac-n-cheese, fish-n-chips. Patio dining. $$ FB K TO L D Daily THE SHEIK, 7361 103rd St., 778-4805. 5172 Normandy Blvd., 786-7641. SEE ARLINGTON. SUN-RAY Cinema, 1028 Park St., 359-0049, sunraycinema. com. F Beer (Bold City, Intuition), wine, pizza, hot dogs, hummus, sandwiches, popcorn, nachos, brownies. $$ BW Daily SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside Ave., Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushicafejacksonville.com. Sushi variety, like Monster Roll, Jimmy Smith Roll; faves like Rock-n-Rol, Dynamite Roll. Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. Indoor or patio. $$ BW L D Daily
ST. AUGUSTINE
AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. AVILES Restaurant & Lounge, 32 Avenida Menendez, 829-2277, hiltonhistoricstaugustine.net. F Hilton Bayfront. Progressive European-flavored menu; made-to-order pasta night, wine dinners, chophouse nights, breakfast buffet. Sun. champagne brunch bottomless mimosas. $$$ FB K B L D Daily CARMELO’S Marketplace & Pizzeria, 146 King St., 494-6658, carmelosmarketplace.com. F NY-style gourmet brick-ovenbaked pizza, fresh sub rolls, Boar’s Head meats and cheeses, garlic herb wings. Outdoor seating, Wi-Fi. $$ BW TO L D Daily CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATE, 6 Granada St., 829-5790. In The Market. Wine and chocolate pairings, soft-serve ice cream, a coffee bar, fresh fruit ice pops, cookies. $$ TO DICK’S Wings, 4010 U.S. 1 S., 547-2669. SEE PONTE VEDRA. THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655, thefloridianst aug.com. Updated Southern fare: fresh ingredients from area farms. Vegetarian, gluten-free. Fried green tomato bruschetta, grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D Wed.-Mon. GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F A mainstay for 25+ years, Gypsy’s menu changes twice daily. Signature dish: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. Sun. brunch. $$ FB R Sun.; L D Daily THE ICE PLANT BAR, 110 Riberia St., 829-6553, iceplantbar. com. Vintage-inspired (an old ice plant) in historic area. Farmto-table menu uses locally sourced ingredients; drinks are handcrafted with house-made bitters, syrups. $$$ FB TO D Nightly LA NOPALERA, 155 Hampton Point Dr., Ste. 10, 230-7879. F SEE MANDARIN. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F Bite Club. BOJ. SEE BEACHES. MOJO Old City BBQ, 5 Cordova, 342-5264. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. PACIFIC ASIAN BISTRO, 159 Palencia Village Dr., Ste. 111, 808-1818, pacificasianbistro.com. F BOJ. Chef Mas Lui creates 30+ sushi rolls; fresh sea scallops, Hawaiian-style poke tuna salad. Sake. $$-$$$ BW L D Daily SALT LIFE Food Shack, 321 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 217-3256, saltlifefoodshack.com. BOJ. SEE BEACHES.
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TEMPO, 16 Cathedral Place, 547-0240. Latin American fusion wine bar and restaurant offers traditional American fare with a Latin flair; sandwiches, too. $$ BW L D Tue.-Sun.
ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER
MOXIE Kitchen + Cocktails, 4972 Big Island Dr., 998-9744, moxiefl.com. Chef Tom Gray’s place features innovative contemporary American cuisine – seafood, steaks, pork, burgers, salads, sides and desserts – using locally sourced ingredients when possible. $$$ FB K L Mon.-Fri.; D Nightly MSHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES.
SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK
BASIL THAI & SUSHI, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190, basilthaijax.com. F Authentic dishes include Pad Thai, curries, sashimi, fresh sushi, daily specials. $$ FB L D Mon.-Sat. DICK’S Wings, 1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110. SEE P.V. EUROPEAN STREET, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 398-9500. BOJ. SEE RIVERSIDE.
FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusion sushijax.com. F Upscale sushi spot serves a variety of fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ K L D Daily THE GROTTO Wine & Tapas Bar, 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726, grottowine.com. F Varied tapas menu: artisanal cheese plates, empanadas, bruschettas, cheesecake. 60+ wines by the glass. $$$ BW Tue.-Sun. LA NOPALERA, 1631 Hendricks, 399-1768. F SEE MANDARIN. MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922, matthews restaurant.com. Chef Matthew Medure’s flagship. Fine dining, artfully presented cuisine, small plates, martini/wine lists. HH Mon.-Fri. Reservations. $$$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metrodiner. com. F BOJ. Original upscale diner in ’30s-era building. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, homemade soups. $$ B R L Daily MOJO Bar-B-Que, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. PIZZA PALACE, 1959 San Marco Blvd., 399-8815. F SEE BAYMEADOWS.
PULP, 1962 San Marco Blvd., 396-9222, pulpaddiction. com. Juice bar offers fresh juices, frozen yogurt, teas, coffees, 30 kinds of smoothies. $ TO B L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Blvd., 398-3005, tavernasan marco.com. Modern take on classic recipes with authentic Italian ingredients, seasonal produce and meats from local purveyors coexist on Chef Sam Efron’s menus. Regional craft beers, handcrafted cocktails. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily
SOUTHSIDE
360° GRILLE, Latitude 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555, latitude360.com. F Seafood, steaks, burgers, chicken, sandwiches, pizza. Patio, movie theater. $$ FB TO L D Daily AKEL’S, 7077 Bonneval Rd., 332-8700. F SEE DOWNTOWN. ALHAMBRA Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. Longest-running dinner theater. Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus. Reservations. $$ FB D Tue.-Sun. CASA MARIA, 14965 Old St. Augustine, 619-8186. SEE BEACHES. DICK’S Wings, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 619-0954. SEE P.V. THE DIM SUM ROOM, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138D, 363-9888, thedimsumroom.com. Shrimp dumplings, beef tripe, sesame ball. Traditional Hong Kong noodles, barbecue. $ FB K L D Daily European Street, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717. SEE RIVERSIDE. LARRY’S SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F BOJ. SEE ORANGE PARK. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 997-1955. F Bite Club. BOJ. SEE BEACHES. MONROE’s Bar-B-Q, 10771 Beach Blvd., 996-7900. SEE RIVERSIDE.
SEVEN BRIDGES Grille & Brewery, 9735 Gate Pkwy., 997-1999, 7bridgesgrille.com. F Local seafood, steaks, pizzas. Brewer Aaron Nesbit handcrafts award-winning freshly brewed ales and lagers. Dine inside, out. $$ FB K TO L D Daily TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Court, 854-0426, tavernayamas.com. F Bite Club. BOJ. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, wines, desserts. Belly dancing. $$ FB K L D Daily TOMMY’S Brick Oven Pizza, 4160 Southside Blvd., Ste. 2, 565-1999, tbopizza.com. NY-style thin crust, brick-ovencooked pizzas (gluten-free), calzones, sandwiches made fresh to order. Boylan’s soda. Curbside pick-up. $$ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. WATAMI ASIAN FUSION, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138D, 363-9888. AYCE sushi, plus two teppanyaki grill items. Faves: Jaguar, dynamite, lobster, soft-shell crab rolls. $ FB K L D Daily WORLD of BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Court, Ste. 1, 551-5929, worldofbeer.com. F Burgers, tavern fare, sliders,flatbreads, German pretzels, hummus, pickle chips. Craft German, Cali, Florida, Irish drafts. Wines. $$ BW L D Daily
SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE
HOLA, 1001 N. Main St., 356-3100, holamexicanrestaurant. com. F Fajitas, burritos, enchiladas, daily specials. HH daily; sangria. $ BW K TO L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S, 12001 Lem Turner, 764-9999. SEE ORANGE PARK. SAVANNAH BISTRO, 14670 Duval Rd., 741-4404, cpjack sonvilleairport.com. F Low Country Southern fare, taste of Mediterranean and French. Crowne Plaza Airport. Crab cakes, NY strip, she crab soup, mahi mahi. $$$ FB K B L D Daily THE SHEIK, 2708 N. Main St., 353-8181. SEE ARLINGTON. UPTOWN MARKET, 1303 Main St. N., 355-0734, uptownmarketjax.com. Bite Club. In 1300 Building. Fresh quality fare, innovative breakfast, lunch and dinner; farm-totable selections, daily specials. $$ BW TO B L Daily
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BITE-SIZED
Photo by Caron Streibich
GO HUNGRY
Go ahead and gorge yourself at this Northside Asian restaurant, but skip dessert
I
Another hit: It was so full of basil, scrambled t’s not smart to arrive at a restaurant egg pieces, carrots, basil, glass noodles, ravenous, but sometimes it happens. This crunchy cashews, tender shrimp, diced was the case for me recently at the River scallions and mushrooms that I eagerly set City Marketplace location of Green Papaya, aside half for the next day’s lunch. which resulted in my ordering food like a crazy woman. Last but not least — pan-fried noodles. The First, the Green Papaya sampler ($12) to plating was a work of art, so my first reaction satisfy my every desire — crunchy, sweet, was joy. Taste-wise, though, it left something savory and spicy. An attractive arrangement to be desired — the chicken was chewy and a (kudos to the plastic light-up rose) of coconut stark white color, and the faux crabmeat was in shrimp, crab Rangoon, chicken satay skewers, huge chunks. The brown sauce engulfing it was spring rolls and fried Thai-style egg rolls, plus pleasant, but the rest of it couldn’t be saved. a thin Thai garlic sauce With boxes of leftovers, and thicker peanut I pushed my limits and sauce. The coconut-y ordered dessert. Our Green Papaya Pan Asian Cuisine fried pieces of butterflied waitress advised against my 13141 City Station Drive, Ste. 149, shrimp were my favorite, selection of red bean mochi 904-696-8886 followed by the chicken ice cream (I did appreciate satay and fried crunchy her honesty), so the fried crab Rangoon clusters. So far, so good. cheesecake ($5) and green tea ice cream ($4) were consolation picks. Then something Then came a trio of entrées, because it all strange occurred. The ice cream arrived draped sounded superb: green curry with chicken with what appeared to be Hershey’s chocolate ($14) and jasmine rice, Green Papaya pan-fried syrup and topped with mint sprigs. The only noodles with chicken, shrimp and crab meat thing green tea about it was the fact that it was ($14), and basil fried rice with shrimp ($13). green. And the cheesecake itself was decent, but As I spooned some curry atop my rice, it it was doused with too many sweet drizzles of imparted a magnificently fragrant glow. Spicy caramel, raspberry and Key lime syrups. (maybe I’ll downgrade to a spice level two Overall, this Northside establishment offers on my next visit) with a hint of sweetness, it a great ambience, experience and value. But do was loaded with pieces of bell peppers, raw yourself a favor and forego dessert. mushrooms, broccoli, snow peas and onions, and bursting with flavor. Caron Streibich Descending from my green curry high, I biteclub@folioweekly.com sunk my chopsticks into the basil fried rice. facebook.com/folioweeklybitesized
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ATTENTION, HOPEFUL ISU WRITERS: The word limit for ISU notices is now 40 words ONLY. NO ISU submissions with more than 40 words will be accepted. Please keep messages short & sweet. Count before you submit! Thanks! NAVY FATIGUES & ME You: A tall gorgeous clean-cut guy in your Navy uniform waiting on your coffee at Starbucks. Me: A shy long-haired Native American princess waiting on her breakfast dessert. Why aren’t you on the menu? When: Aug. 7. Where: 1604 Margaret St. #1394-0813 WALMART CHECKOUT, ST. AUGUSTINE You: Tall handsome gentleman wearing cowboy boots, jeans & white shirt. On a Monday, we chatted about your pool chlorine and my grapes. Me: Petite, long red hair. New to area, would love to connect. When: Aug. 4. Where: St. Augustine Walmart. #1393-0813 J.B. WITH A PLAIN NAME TAG You have a good smile. I tried to flirt back; maybe next time I see you I can give you my phone number. Me: Redhead in bright lime green workout tank. When: Aug. 4. Where: Panera@Beach/Hodges. #1392-0813 ANGEL WITH A BOARD You: Black bikini, tan, long hair, carrying surfboard, smiled at me. Me: In a complicated relationship; just wanted to tell you, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve seen in a long time. Thanks for the smile. When: Aug. 6. Where: Jax Beach Pier parking lot. #1391-0813 FLYING IGUANA CLASSY LADY You: Professional-looking classy lady (realtor?) with gold name tag on left jacket lapel at bar’s north end with male and female friends. Me: Silver-headed fox, in booth with buddy behind you at Iguana last Friday. When: July 25. Where: Flying Iguana. #1390-0806 CLOWNFACE 7/20. You: Sitting with old guy. You called me “Chucklehead” and rode off on a red beach cruiser. Drop the relic and ride into the sunset with me. When: July 20. Where: Atlantic Beach Diner. #1389-0730 DERRICK ROSE LOOK-ALIKE You look soooo good. You: a mixed Derrick Rose look-alike. Me: Female, tall, thin former cashier @ Publix. I hate myself for letting you get away. Come find me. I wanna be wherever you are! When: July 6. Where: Publix Southside & Touchton. #1388-0730
I SAW U Connection Made! AKEL’S BOY I see you a lot. Can we hang out sometime? You: Good-looking, short white dude with tattoo by your eye. Me: Cute, tall thin black female. Let’s do lunch at Akel’s or anywhere?! When: July 16. Where: July 16. #1387-0730 WHO KNEW SCRUBS WERE HOT? You: Looking fine in navy-blue scrubs. Sweet smile assisting doctor at my appointment. Your laugh was so hot. Me: Firsttime patient; I’ll get sick more if it means seeing you. Let’s meet July 26, Carrie Underwood concert Budzone. When: July 17. Where: Doctor’s office. #1386-0723
I SAW U Connection Made!
HOT BAR GUY ISU at the Ritz, Jax Beach. You: Watching basketball game with your friends. White V-neck, tattoos. I was with two friends. I have long blonde hair, wearing black tank top. Made eye contact, never talked. When: May 31. Where: Ritz Bar. #1385-0716 LATE NIGHT NOSH You: Red shirt, brown hair, glasses; looking at your cellphone. Me: Gray shirt, running shorts; reading a book. Both of us singing to same song. Our eyes met once or twice. Wished you joined me. When: July 9. Where: Regency Steak ’N Shake. #1384-0716 BUSINESS BRUNCH CONNECTION You: 20-something blue-eyed blonde budding professional, great teeth. Me: 74-year-old professional supervisor; looks 20 years younger – bald but burly! I saw your silent
36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 13-19, 2014
amazement when I said we were soulmates. Call; throw professional boundaries to the wind! When: July 2. Where: Mimi’s Café. #1383-0716 SEXY PANHANDLER You: Sweet, sweaty old guy panhandling for spare change on a hot day. Me: Mousey-haired, 30-year-old in gray primered, Bondo’d Hyundai. Your rheumy eyes seemed to be asking me for more than spare change... call me! When: July 4. Where: Corner Kernan & Beach. #1382-0709 STUNNING SLICE SLINGER ISU bouncing around Al’s Pizza. You: Tall blonde bartender serving drinks and slinging slices. Me: Dark, dredded, lurking afar. Next time, come out so I can give you a slice of me! When: June 28. Where: Al’s Pizza, Ponte Vedra. #1381-0709 SPORTING GOODS Me: Tall, shorts/shirt, red hair, red SUV. You: Taller, handsome, shorts/T-shirt, orange-shirted friend; huge white lifted truck. You smiled; should’ve talked then and behind you in line. Maybe Navy boys? Forgive me for being chicken. :) When: July 2. Where: Academy Sports, Kernan. #1380-0709 BLUE-EYED BRUNETTE You: Brunette with stunning blue eyes. Me: Older guy leaving to go get dessert. You asked about the Key lime pie. No time to get acquainted; but I’d like to. When: June 28. Where: Singleton’s Mayport. #1379-0709 BEAUTIFUL BLONDE IN RED DRESS ISU at COE22 this a.m.; want to get to know you. Me: Across the aisle, yellow shirt, with my mother. We caught eyes once. You have an excellent voice; I’d like to sing with you. Think you said you were on-call nurse. When: June 29. Where: COE22. #1378-0702 YOU LIKED MY BOOTS You: Talking about bad guys; you were sooo cute. I told you you were cute but it was really the way you said what you said that I found truly gorgeous. I was mystified; cannot remember what you were wearing. When: June 25. Where: Park behind library. #1377-0702
I SAW U Connection Made! MEET FOR PIZZA & BEER You: Shaved head, awesome blue eyes, T-shirt, shorts, having dinner with who I assume were your children. Me: Ponytail, gray T-shirt having dinner with male friends. Our booth was next to your table. Our eyes met twice as you left! When: June 24. Where: Al’s Pizza Atlantic Beach. #1376-0702 WHITE DOGGIE STYLE You: Shirtless, sweating, man-child drinking a draft beer and trimming bushes on Third Street in Neptune Beach. You paused to adjust your shark-tooth necklace. Me: Nosy neighbor peering through the window. Wanna come take a bite outta me? When: June 16. Where: Neptune Beach. #1375-0625 DENIM 4 DAYS You: Wearing denim seemingly all over. Perhaps Apple Bottoms? Me: Looking for my friends when I bumped into you. Let’s meet again. I really like your genes. When: June 13. Where: Mellow Mushroom Avondale. #1374-0625 FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION You: Cool Ameri-Asian hipster tooling around Riverside in a sweet souped-up ride. Me: Athletic brunette often seen jogging and liking what I see. Put your soy in my sauce already? Let’s get fast and furious! When: June 4. Where: Post and King streets. #1373-0618 SECOND SIGHT CONNECTION @ ARTWALK Me: long dress, faerie necklace, blonde and pink. You: Taller than me, dark hair? A shining person. We talked about my necklace. You see what I see. I feel less alone now. Meet me in the park? When: June 4. Where: Art Walk Downtown. #1372-0611
ASTROLOGY
NIC CAGE, MODIGLIANI, GOLDA MEIR & RICK WARREN ARIES (March 21-April 19): An American, Kevin Shelley, accomplished a feat worthy of the Guinness Book of World Records. Wearing a blue satin martial arts outfit, he smashed 46 wooden toilet seats over his head in just one minute. Some observers may dismiss his efforts as frivolous and ridiculous, but I admire how he playfully mocked his own competitiveness while fully expressing his competitiveness. He satirized his ego’s drive to be first and best even as he reached the goal of being first and best. Try something similar. You’re entering a phase; you’d be wise to add a bit of humility to bold self-presentation. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You’re about to make the transition from plodding to skipping, moping to exulting. You’ll no longer be bogged down by cloudy doubt, but buoyed by giddy hope. What’s the cause of the turnaround in your fortunes? It’s Justifiable Narcissism Week – for Tauruses only. During the jubilee, the FreeWill Astrology Council on Extreme Self-Esteem authorizes you to engage in unabashed selfworship and corral others who want to join in. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): An eagle does not catch flies. A lion won’t hunt for mice. A gourmet chef shuns recipes that call for canned soup and potato chips. And you won’t have a hankering for non-nutritious sweets and treats to spoil your appetite for more robust sustenance. You get I’m not just talking about your literal eating habits, right? Interpret this oracle metaphorically, please. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Now is a great time to phase out fantasies that bog you down or drag you backward. Are you up for the challenge? Can you summon the courage to leave the mediocre past behind? Your assignments: Wean yourself of longings to reconstruct bygone pleasures. Forget about trying to be like you used to be and have the keys you used to have. Stop feeding feelings that keep you affixed to obsolete goals. Break any taboo that makes you scared to change what must be changed. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Artist Amedeo Modigliani lived in Paris from 1906 until he died in 1920. For most of that time, he was destitute. Proprietors of local stores and restaurants sometimes accepted his art work as payment in lieu of money. They didn’t necessarily appreciate it, though. One food seller used Modigliani’s drawings as wraps for fried potatoes. Another stashed some paintings in his cellar. Too bad for these short-sighted people and their heirs: The worth of Modigliani’s works increased, and some sold for millions. In the weeks ahead, don’t be like those food sellers. Know the value of what you have, even if it’s latent. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Here are three new words, needed to provide the proper oracle. First: the German term “Schwellenangst,” which refers to timidity or nervousness about crossing a threshold into unknown territory. Second: English term “strikhedonia.” It means the joy that rises when you feel the courage to say “to hell with it.” Third, Portuguese: “desenrascanço.” It means spontaneous improvisation of haphazard but effective plans. Put them all together: To conquer your Schwellenangst, you must summon a bolt of strikhedonia and have faith in your ability to carry out desenrascanço. (Thanks to other-wordly.tumblr.com.) LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Desire can conquer fear. Love trumps cowardice. The power your tenderness affords you may not completely dissolve doubt and worry, but it will quiet them down
so they’ll lose their ability to paralyze you. These truths are good to keep in mind, but they’re especially useful right now. No obstacle will faze you, no shadow will intimidate, as long as you feed your holy longing and unshakable compassion. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): On Aug. 2, 1830, Louis Antoine, Duke of Angoulême, was King of France for 20 minutes. (It’s a long story.) This is a cautionary tale. A few weeks from now, I don’t want to be comparing you to him. If you hope to hold your new position or continue to wield added clout for more than just a little while, take all necessary steps. How? Nurture the web of support that will sustain you. Don’t burn a single bridge. Cultivate real empathy, not just the showy kind. Avoid manipulative behavior, even if you think you can get away with it. Be a skillful gatherer of information. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Golda Meir was Prime Minister of Israel from 1969-’74. Her admirers described her as “strong-willed, straight-talking, grey-bunned grandmother of the Jewish people.” She had a good sense of humor, too. “Let me tell you the one thing I have against Moses,” she said. “He took us 40 years into the desert to bring us to the one place in the Middle East that has no oil.” This is a teaching story. If you plan to make any big moves, transitions or journeys in the months ahead, choose destinations that will let you gain access to wealthbuilding resources. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Do you know what phase of your cycle it is? Here are some hints: It doesn’t come around often. It’s not characterized by predictable events or boring certainties. And it may allow you, even encourage you, to take a break from being your usual self. You have entered the Nicolas Cage Phase of your cycle. Cage is a Capricorn, but not a typical one. He’s eccentric, manic and certifiably batty. He refers to his acting technique as “Nouveau Shamanic,” once lived in a fake castle and owns a Lamborghini that belonged to the legendary Shah of Iran. For our current purposes, he has also testified, “I am not a demon. I am a lizard, a shark, a heat-seeking panther. I want to be Bob Denver on acid playing the accordion.” AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Here’s one of my life goals: to show you a type of astrology that does not infringe on your free will, but clarifies your options. In this horoscope, I’ll outline your alternatives so you’ll be fully informed as you determine what course of action is most closely aligned with your high ideals. Ponder this question, and then briskly exert your freedom of choice: Would you prefer to have love make your head spin, knock you off your feet, kick you gently but firmly in the ass or all of the above? PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “God changes caterpillars into butterflies, sand into pearls and coal into diamonds by using time and pressure,” says pastor Rick Warren. “He is working on you, too.” Make that idea your meditation. If the word “God” doesn’t suit, substitute “life,” “nature” or “Wakan Tanka,” the Lakotan term for “The Great Mystery.” The essential point is, you’re being worked on and shaped by forces beyond your conscious awareness. Some are vast and impersonal, like your culture, the media and the entertainment industry. Others are intimate and close by, like your genes, childhood imprints and characters you meet daily. Now’s a great time to contemplate all the influences that make you you. Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com
FOLIO WEEKLY PUZZLER by Merl Reagle. Presented by
SAN MARCO 2044 San Marco Blvd. 398-9741
PONTE VEDRA
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THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA
AVENUES MALL
Space Exploration
74 Boris’s actress “bride” 75 Truck types 77 Rockers, the J. ___ Band 78 Regard 80 True or false, for ex. 81 Reuters alternative 82 One of this puzzle’s hidden answers, in Latin 83 Part of a griffin ACROSS 84 Unplanned side trip 1 Run in the wash 86 Benefits agcy. 6 Show appreciation 88 Reach the age of 10 Clothing line? 89 Boxer Roberto 14 Palindrome start 92 Lackland or Langley: 19 Trait of “trait” abbr. 20 Laugh like crazy 95 Now you see it, now 21 Turquoise cousin you don’t 22 Portable players 97 Quiet ___ 23 Actor Walbrook 99 Went wacko 24 Beastly boss, e.g. 101 Recipe binders 25 Drags along 105 Greeley’s advice 26 S.F. paper, for short 106 Teatro alla ___ 27 Cousteau’s milieu 28 Mongrel or scoundrel 108 Leaves for a while 110 Euripides tragedy 30 Conference center? 112 All thumbs 32 Ricochet 114 A in French class? 34 Gold and silver, e.g. 115 Game of Clue need 37 Flip response? 116 “___ go on?” 39 Free-___ 118 Oscar role for Penn 42 Henna handler 43 “The Hustler” co-star 120 Nut job 122 Madonna played her 45 Wind-farm sights 124 Marla’s predecessor 47 Grooms, as plumes 49 Number of astronauts in 125 Dr. Skoda, “Law & Order” NASA’s first lineup 126 “Holy moly!” 51 You, in Jalisco 52 Mascara ruiner, maybe 127 Of subs and such 128 Garden-party farewells 53 Nonetheless, briefly 129 Keep from littering? 55 Rat 130 With 40 Down, a cake 57 Layered ’do maker 58 Insect sci. 131 Night lights 61 “___ Poetica”
The hidden name in last week’s puzzle was in a far right column: WIT + KNEE + HUE + STUN = “Whitney Houston.” And while I’m in a words-jumping-over-blacksquares mood (hint, hint), here’s a puzzle with a similar idea. Explanation next week.
62 Trading-floor area 65 Public spectacles 67 Ersatz fat brand 68 Harangue 70 Banzai Pipeline locale 71 Very distant or different (and a hint to what’s hidden among the Across answers, in their logical order, from top to bottom) 1
2
3
4
DOWN
1 Held responsible 2 Godforsaken 3 Grilled salmon, e.g. 4 Freud’s “mediator” 5 Part of S.Y.T.Y.C.D. 6 Laugh gleefully 7 Jam ingredient? 8 Wrong 9 Skirt features
5
6
7
8
9
AVONDALE 3617 St. Johns Ave. 388-5406
10 Soup cracker 11 “... created ___” 12 NFL preseason time 13 Like der, in Ger. 14 Severe, storm-related downdraft 15 Saw 16 Inactive 17 Rowdydow 18 Yahoo! rival 29 Felix the neatnik 31 Burma neighbor 33 Rep. of S. ___ 35 Well-dressed goober 36 Anagram of 38 Down 38 Old gun acronym 40 See 130 Across 41 Trip preparation? 44 ___ of one’s former self 46 Striker’s sign 48 Way more than a snit 50 Robust energy 52 Leon Uris novel 54 Jittery 56 Speak grandly 57 Burn but good 59 Tom Swift’s Electric Rifle, commonly 60 Put ___ (behave haughtily) 62 Add insult to injury 63 “Ghosts” playwright 64 Type of group 65 Nap site, maybe
66 Won every game 67 Surgery sites, briefly 68 Case workers, briefly 69 Many Floridians 72 Repugnant 73 Blood-bank supply 76 Hermosillo hello 79 Punch hard 82 ___-la-la 84 Mrs. Everage, famously 85 Cleanser-label list 87 Manifesto points 88 Interpreted 89 Bumstead’s nickname 90 Military diversion? 91 Tiger’s dinner 93 Rhett Butler adverb 94 Dark Knight portrayer 96 D.C. landmark, the ___ 98 Onetime Arapaho foe 100 Pompeii neighbor 102 Peeping Tom’s eyeful 103 Johnny B. Goode’s forte 104 Terrific bargains 107 Tiny hairs 109 Hammer parts 111 Skunk River city 113 Frat party wear 116 __relude to “pick” 117 __ongoria of TV 119 __rchin 121 __ool for rowing 123 __versized pot
Solution to I’m Not Quite Myself Today 2 A S K M O R E P L A Y K E S H A R P A T E L O C L A W A O S A G A L S T A T A V I C C P E S T A N T R D A T O R O W R E C A S A T Y E T
10
11
D O D G E
O G V E R A T E S E O T T R E C U E D E D M O L E N E B A N N M O A T I M O I N E M I S N T H T R E F E C O K S A R E S T N Y E
12
S O N K I E A Y O A N B A E N E D O W N A N T G Y P L I A C M A A L
13
A I D G R E R E E K P R O R E S I A M P T I C A N E A N D O S A H E I R M E N S R I P A I R O W O M O N E E R S R B I E N D G I E O E
14
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
34
29
30
35
36
42
43 47
53
45
65
66
70
71
80
81
97
E A R N
S E E S E P
17
18
40
41
63
64
74 78
79 83
85
86 93 99
111
16
O M R I
69
73
87
94
95
88 96
100
101 102 103 104
106 107 110
15
62
82
105
R Y N T A D
61
72
98
F R I E R
O K S R A A D
56
68
92
T O M B
S E E K E R S
46
77
91
S O T S
A R M L O A D
51
60
67
84
E T R E
E G T W I A I R T A M F A F S K E O N N E E E L S I A H E L U U E D D U E A S N G T O N U R E N T S H
39
55 59
H O F F E R
33
50
54 58
76
38
49
57
90
37
48
75
32
44
52
89
31
S H O O T S
108
112
113
109 114
121
115
116 117
118 119
120
122 123
124
125
126
127
128
129
130
131
AUGUST 13-19, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37
NEWS OF THE WEIRD COME FLY WITH ME
The May 28 US Airways flight from LA to Philly was diverted to Kansas City after a passenger’s service dog did what dogs do, in the aisle, twice (an hour apart). One passenger used the terms “lingering smell,” “dry heaving” and “throwing up” in describing the situation. And on a recent (maybe July) Delta flight from Beijing to Detroit, a Chinese couple apparently nonchalantly lay paper on their toddler’s seat and encouraged him to address his bowels’ needs despite numerous pleas from nearby passengers to take him to the restroom. According to Chinese news reports, social media sites erupted in criticism of the family for its disgusting behavior.
LEAST COMPETENT FUZZ
Clay County, Florida, Sheriff ’s Office twice this year arrested the wrong Ashley Chiasson — in January (for grand theft) and in May (writing bad checks) — despite three years, five inches, 20 pounds and middle names separating them (Ashley Odessa, the suspect, vs. Ashley Nicole, the innocent victim). (“Odessa” spent five weeks in jail before deputies admitted their mistake.)
DEMOCRACY IN ACTION
The Alaskan government is scrambling to fulfill its obligation to welcome native communities’ votes on a state tax resolution in August. That means paying translators (at up to $50 a hour) to set out the measure for communities using the languages Yup’ik, Inupiak, Siberian Yupik, Koyukon Athabascan and Gwich’in Athabascan. The tax measure must also be available on audio — for communities that rely on the “oral tradition.” For example, the yes-or-no tax question in Yup’ik is “Una-qaa alerquun ciuniurumanrilli?”
NOT MY FAULT
Tom Lakin is challenging State Farm in a St. Clair County, Illinois, courtroom, claiming the sexual abuse he was convicted of was “unintentional” and therefore his homeowners’ insurance ought to have covered any claims by the victim. State Farm, and other insurers, generally pay out for “negligent” events. He said he had no idea serving minors alcohol and drugs and encouraging them to have sex with each other would lead to their later sexual exploitation by other adults.
Steve Grossman, Massachusetts’ state treasurer, who’s running for governor, performed heroically at a March candidate forum. The Boston Globe reported Grossman “fervently answered questions on everything from transgender rights [to] sex education [and] issues facing [the] aging members of the [gay/ transgender] community” while simultaneously passing a kidney stone, which most victims rate as “level 10” pain — the highest on the medical scale, described as comparable to childbirth.
REDNECK CHRONICLES
FAKIN’ IT
HOOSEGOW NOOKIE
Steve Wiles got only 28 percent of the vote in his May North Carolina state senate race when it was learned he (a recent gay rights foe) was until about four years ago a gay male working as female impersonator Mona Sinclair at a Winston-Salem gay nightclub. As recently as April, though (three weeks before a newspaper’s revelation), Wiles was denying he used to be she. “That’s not me,” he said. “That’s him,” said a man who worked with him at the club. Said the club’s then-co-owner: “I have no ax to grind against him. I just think he’s a liar.”
38 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 13-19, 2014
SAY WHAT?
A man was hospitalized in Shreveport, in June after he was blown away by a wind gust as he held onto a mattress in the bed of a pickup truck on I-49. He suffered road burn and fractures. Jenna Ketcham, 25, was arrested in Sebastian, Florida, in July after exacting revenge against an ex-beau, whom she encountered with another woman in his pickup. According to police, Ketcham hit the man in the face and the genitals, and emptied the dude’s “dip spit” cup on him.
In July, Italian news agency ANSA reported Italy’s San Vittore prison in Milan is scheduling regular “happy hour” socials for female inmates — catered, with alcohol, and with “external” guests welcome, to the displeasure of the prison guards’ union. The deputy director of the prison service was quoted as approving the events, leading union representatives to complain to the ministry of Justice. Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net
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AUGUST 13-19, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39
40 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 13-19, 2014