Folio Weekly 09/10/14

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CONTENTS //

SEPTEMBER 10-16, 2014 • VOLUME 28 • NUMBER 24

BRING ON THE INQUEST

12

7 MAIL FIGHTIN’ WORDS 2 MINUTES WITH COVER STORY

5 6 7 8

OUR PICKS MUSIC THE KNIFE LIVE MUSIC

12 14 16 17

FILM MAGIC LANTERNS ARTS DINING DIRECTORY

14 20 21 23 25

BITE-SIZED ASTROLOGY WEIRD I SAW U

27 28 29 30

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PUBLISHER • Sam Taylor

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EDITORIAL

DESIGN

EDITOR • Jeffrey C. Billman jbillman@folioweekly.com / ext. 115 SENIOR EDITOR • Marlene Dryden mdryden@folioweekly.com / ext. 131 INTERIM A&E EDITOR • Janet Harper jharper@folioweekly.com / ext. 128 WRITERS-AT-LARGE Susan Cooper Eastman seastman@folioweekly.com Derek Kinner dkinner@folioweekly.com CARTOONIST • Tom Tomorrow CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Rob Brezsny, Daniel A. Brown, John E. Citrone, Julie Delegal, AG Gancarski, Nicholas Garnett, Claire Goforth, Dan Hudak, Shelton Hull, MaryAnn Johanson, Amanda Long, Heather Lovejoy, Nick McGregor, Cameron Meier, Jeff Meyers, Kara Pound, Merl Reagle, Scott Renshaw, Carley Robinson, Chuck Shepherd,

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4 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 10-16, 2014

EDITOR’S NOTE “There is a visceral sense of, ‘What if she was murdered and this guy goes free?’” Brad King, the special prosecutor who declined to indict St. Johns County Deputy Jeremy Banks for his girlfriend Michelle O’Connell’s death (ruled a suicide) in 2010, told PBS’ Frontline last year.

“There ought to be at least some visceral sense, ‘What if she did commit suicide and he’s in prison for the rest of his life?’”

He makes a good point, one intrinsic to the American justice system — better that 10 guilty men go free than an innocent hang, and all that.

But that doesn’t elide the myriad and troubling problems with the official account of Michelle’s death: the charges from Michelle’s family that Banks was a domestic abuser; the reports from colleagues that he had a temper, especially when he drank (as he did that night); the statement of crime scene expert Jerry Findley, who concluded that the shooter, like Banks but not O’Connell, was most likely left-handed, and the scene was “more consistent with homicide than suicide”; the testimony of two neighbors who say they heard a woman yell for help, then heard a gunshot, then another yell, then another gunshot, then silence; the fact that the official theory of how Michelle got a cut on her eyelid is that the gun recoiled forward, which, according to forensic scientist Peter Diaczuk, “defies the laws of physics.”

All of these things, well elucidated by the blockbuster New York Times/Frontline investigation, lead me to suspect that Michelle O’Connell did not commit suicide that night four years and one week ago. But neither can I say beyond a reasonable doubt that Jeremy Banks murdered her. And that gets at the underlying issue, why we’re still talking about this case: the St. Johns County Sheriff ’s Office, either through willful indifference or general incompetence, botched (perhaps irreparably) this investigation six ways to Sunday, most importantly by failing to call in the Florida Department of Law Enforcement right away. Instead, deputies decided on the spot that O’Connell killed herself and unquestioningly took Banks at his word.

For that, someone should be held accountable. But that hasn’t happened. And it won’t happen. The SJSO is now invested in the suicide narrative, rallying around its deputy and vigilantly protective of its reputation.

Consider the statement Sheriff David Shoar’s office issued last week, after Michelle’s family held a press conference to announce new evidence in the case — a bar owner who said Banks was in his establishment the day after Michelle’s death saying that she got what she deserved — and demand that State Attorney R.J. Larizza order a coroner’s inquest: “It is not surprising that on the fourth anniversary of Michelle O’Connell’s death, members of her family have orchestrated news events to again draw attention to this tragedy.

Families of suicide victims often go to great lengths to try and demonstrate that their loved one did not take their own life and we have great compassion for these families.”

Sorry, but “great compassion” is not a condescending statement dismissive of the family’s legitimate questions — questions that exist only because of the sheriff ’s office’s welldocumented failings. Can you really blame Michelle’s family for not trusting them?

Who knows if, four years on, a coroner’s inquest will reveal anything new or useful? But at this point, it’s the least we can do. The SJSO has proven that, at least in this instance, it has zero credibility.

Jeffrey C. Billman twitter/jeffreybillman jbillman@folioweekly.com

MAIL

Photo by Ericka Curran

No Fun Allowed

I packed my kids up and took them to The Jacksonville Landing for the Labor Day festivities. Encountered this sign (above).

Seriously? I did not think it possible for the Landing to be anymore “uncool” [Fightin’ Words, “The Ghost Town,” AG Gancarski, Sept.

3]. Hotter than Hades this weekend and kids can’t splash in a fountain design that throughout the world kids are splashing in. First, they get rid of all the cool kids’ stuff at Metro Park (almost zero coverage of that, by the way).

I still see families driving around looking for that park with bewildered looks on their faces. Where did it go? Did it ever really exist?

Phantom Park. Then, there is the huge whale at the Zoo splash park that kids can’t climb on (whoever designed that clearly hated children).

And now this. #nofunallowedinjacksonville Ericka Curran

A Good Folkie

Thank you very much for your glowing writeup of Ron Johnson’s book [The Knife, “The Book of Folk,” John E. Citrone, Aug. 27]. He is a wonderful man. I have admired his intellect and music since I first met him at the Florida Folk Festival several years ago. I am but one in the legions of folkies who are in awe of his acceptance of his health failings and his zest for living life to its absolute fullest. I have so enjoyed reading his accounting of Florida folk music history he has discovered and shared with all of us.

dear readers, is precisely the point of this redistricting charade.

Will Crist Bail Again?

In response to your editorial on Charlie Crist, there is a good reason support Scott or at least vote against Crist [Editor’s Note, “The Importance of Being Charlie,” Jeffrey C. Billman, Aug. 20].

For Crist’s last full month in office in December 2010, the unemployment rate (U1) for Florida was 12 percent compared to a national rate of 9.4 percent. The U6 rate was worse at 19.3 percent compared to a national rate of 16.7 percent. The number of people working was 8.214 million.

While it may be admitted that some of the problems in the economy were beyond Crist’s control, there was one major item that was not beyond his control. Crist watched the state’s economy crash and burn while running for the Senate as an Independent after his first defeat in the Republican primary. I hold Crist completely responsible for working twice as hard on his Senate campaign as on resolving Florida’s issues.

Crist cared more about himself than about Florida then, and who is to say when a better offer comes along that he will not bail again?

Bruce Fouraker

And Big Straws, Too

Those darn Republicans. Doing everything in their power to ensure a Democrat gets perpetually re-elected [Editor’s Note, “When Cheaters Prosper,” Jeffrey C. Billman, Aug. 27].

Yup, sure makes sense to me.

This letter is in response to our call in the Aug. 6 Bite-by-Bite issue for your take on the best dishes in Northeast Florida: At Johnny Angel’s Diner on St. Johns Bluff Road, I went with my wife to see Sidewalk 65 play and decided to get something “light” to eat, so I ordered the BLT. I found the appetite that I had been lacking after the first bite. That is the best BLT I’ve had in my life. The blueberry milkshake is pretty good, too, with whole blueberries and a straw big enough so they don’t clog it up.

Steve Easton

Chris Monell, via folioweekly.com

Goody Haines

Makes Sense

The editor responds: It makes more sense if you understand that by packing all of an area’s Democrats into one already-Democratic-leaning district, it makes it a lot easier for Republicans in the surrounding districts to win. And that,

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any of you are reading this on or around Sept. 11, the anniversary of a day that defined the American condition indelibly thereafter. Any questions about the ubiquity of the surveillance state were quashed in favor of the PATRIOT Act, the TSA, two foreign wars, and what appears to be the eclipse of the American Century into the uncertainty of this multipolar epoch.

The rules have changed regarding police and civilian engagement. The post-9/11 enforcement model has seen billions of federal dollars poured into local law enforcement agencies, under the aegis of combatting the twin malign menaces of terror and narcotrafficking. The Pentagon has provided surplus weapons from this century’s military theaters in Iraq and Afghanistan; the Justice Department and Homeland Security likewise have offered grants to buy this kind of equipment. The result is local police forces that certainly look and function differently than they did 13 years ago. (I reached out to the Jacksonville Sheriff ’s Office for an accounting of the military-grade weaponry procured from the Pentagon in this manner. The JSO has not yet fulfilled my public records request.)

Are we safer? Depends on whom you ask.

You definitely won’t go broke investing in the criminal-justice industry, though, as evidenced by the buoyancy of private prison company stocks, as well as the recent surge of Taser International — a company uniquely positioned to benefit from the current recommendation in vogue that cops wear cameras on them at all times. Taser makes a lot of these cameras, and is consequently getting a lot of nice press.

Cameras everywhere — every enforcement stop, on cops and on dashboards, at red lights, and of course in the blight zones of Denise Lee’s concern. The idea is that cameras will prove who is culpable in situations like policeinvolved shootings and allegations of brutality.

Cameras will keep us honest — the criminal element and law enforcement alike.

That’s the theory, anyway. There have been lots of theories advanced in the wake of Ferguson, where a cop shot dead an unarmed black teenager. No one had heard of Ferguson, Missouri, before all of this went down, but we’ve all heard of it now. Ferguson has assumed

an iconic place in the national subconscious.

Ferguson, as we know it, is a very specific place.

But to me, it looks like home.

It looks like many areas right here in the Bold New City of the South, areas transformed in the last couple of decades from places where you could raise a family and be pretty sure the kids weren’t stepping up to the plate with two strikes to what these places are now: warzones, hellholes, places where you never relax at a red light even when the sun burns bright in the sky.

Places inside the Operation Ceasefire zone and ZIP codes outside its parameters, from the Northside to deep in the Westside to Arlington and the Southside. Places that would be inner-ring suburbs had Jacksonville never consolidated, suburbs like Ferguson, but what are instead neighborhoods born in the heady days of white flight and now, in their sunset years, miasmas of mid-century subdivision design bereft of much in the way of aboveground economy. Sounds a lot like Ferguson, where the population shift over the last quarter-century was not accounted for in city government, including the police force, exacerbating the very real divide between the governing and the governed.

Could that happen here? You betcha.

In our worst neighborhoods, the solutions advanced — the aforementioned cameras and Operation Ceasefire — are consistent with the tenets of a military operation. The implicit argument: Policing has to be aggressive, to keep the “thugs” in line. And there are enough thugs to ensure that we will always need aggressive policing.

And more thugs are being created all the time. A lack of educational opportunity and legitimate employment options ensure just that.

What happened after the shooting of Michael Brown almost assuredly could, in fact, happen here. The recent “Purge” scare indicates, likewise, that it would be easy to mobilize a critical population mass to create real terror — even if it’s a hoax. We have a militarized police department, yes. And we’ve created the conditions in many areas where that seems like the best solution from a passel of bad ones.

AG Gancarski twitter/aggancarski mail@folioweekly.com

2 MINUTES WITH … // DENNIS HO

CAMERON NAUGLE JR./FUNERAL DIRECTOR, EMBALMER,

OWNER OF NAUGLE FUNERAL HOMES Folio Weekly: When did you enter the funeral business?

Cameron Naugle Jr.: I grew up in the business, I’ve been coming here since I was in middle school, sweeping the parking lot, trimming the hedges, driving the flower van on services to driving the limousine as soon as I could drive, but I didn’t get professionally licensed until 1999.

What exactly do you do?

I meet with families, arrange for funeral services and cremations. I try to make sure the way they want to honor their loved one is complete — kinda lead them in the direction to honor the person that they’ve lost.

In your experience, do people prefer traditional funerals or cremation?

Florida is about 86 percent cremation. Florida is a transient state; a lot of people come [here] to retire. They pass away and they have family in [other states], so sometimes you don’t have people who have roots here and they want to be buried back home. The easiest way is to simply have them cremated and fly them back there. But the friends and neighbors they do have here, they want to have some sort of mourning, some sort of celebration, so we do memorial services, too.

Which is more cost-effective?

I’d say cremation is less expensive, just because you don’t have to have property. But they’re both on par. You can have a really expensive cremation just like you can have a really expensive funeral. On average, cremation ends up being about $2,000-$3,000, and a funeral is about $5,000-$6,000.

What is the price range for a casket?

Caskets can be simple. We’ve got one that costs $799 and it’s made out of cardboard and it’s covered with doeskin. All the way up to the most expensive casket I ever saw — a $55,000 sterling silver casket, and we shipped that up to Donald Trump so he could bury his father.

I read somewhere that certain unused caskets can go up in value.

Yeah, depending on how rare they are. It’s kind of like a car. They don’t make silversterling caskets any more and if somebody knows you have it …

When you see caskets on TV, do you

analyze them?

Oh, yeah. I grew up looking through casket books. There are, like, 200 different colors of caskets and interiors. It’s kind of like car colors.

It’s something I’ve been interested in since an early age, so I see one on TV and I instantly can figure out who makes it and [about] what it costs.

Like what they buried Michael Jackson in, that solid bronze casket, that was about $15,000.

What distinguishes an $800 casket from a $15,000 one?

The construction, the quality of the materials and what they’re made of. All caskets are rated for 300 pounds, that’s what they can carry and that’s the industry standard. But they all serve the same purpose, which is to carry a dead body into the ground.

How have funerals changed since you started your work here?

Nowadays we have a lot of baby boomers and they are different. They want everything personalized. I think the British term is bespoke — they want a bespoke service. So you kind of try to figure out the person whose service you’re having. A funeral is for the living, not for the deceased; you’re celebrating the life of the deceased, who they were, what they did in life, their hobbies and interests. Years ago, you had a straitlaced funeral. You went to the church, there was a pastor, he did a sermon, that was it.

You went to the grave and you buried it. Now people want to do things differently.

What’s the future of funeral services?

There’s a thing right now called alkali hydrolysis. There’s one in South Florida and I think it’s going to catch on here, too. It’s cremation of the body without flame. It uses water and an alkali solution to dissolve the body into calcium. You get more cremains back and there’s no fire involved. I think a lot of people are going to like that instead of cremation. There’s no flame and no ash, it’s simple and clean.

Was Six Feet Under’s portrayal of a funeral home accurate?

Yeah. It reminds me of a small-town funeral home. I enjoyed it, the whole family living above a funeral home. I don’t know about the conflict between family and employees and

all that, but [business-wise] I thought it was a pretty accurate representation.

Do you remember the first body you embalmed?

I remember the first body I saw embalmed. I was 15 years old when I saw my first one and it was kind of a shock. I was in there with my dad and another old-time embalmer, and they said, “If you feel like you’re getting nervous or you don’t feel right, then go outside and sit down and get some air.” I had seen dead bodies before but I had never seen an embalming, and I [told myself] I’m gonna sit through this. I went in there and after about 10 minutes I didn’t feel right and I went outside for three minutes.

Then I [reasoned] that this is a process that everybody goes through and there’s nothing in there that’s out of the ordinary, so I went back and stayed. [Being able to do it] isn’t instantaneous, it took some time.

Do you remember seeing your first dead body?

I remember when I was little, we have a cooler downstairs here, and somebody opened the cooler and there was a foot sticking out. It occurred to me [it was] odd, but it wasn’t the shock of seeing my first body being embalmed.

Do you read obituaries?

Every funeral director reads the obituaries every day — that’s like the count, it’s how we keep score. Football scouts read the paper to see who scored, we read obituaries to see who’s busier, who’s got more services, who’s the big firm this week.

Thought about how you want to be buried?

I change my mind often. It’s kinda like what my dad says: “I don’t really care because I won’t be there to attend it.” I always thought I’d like to be buried. I enjoy a big funeral and the pomp and circumstance. But more and more I see bigger and bigger celebrations for cremations, too.

Are you afraid of death?

No! Death is not something you should be afraid of. That’s not living life, having regrets.

Don’t be afraid to go into death, because everybody dies. Now, I don’t want to die any earlier than the next person, but when my time comes and I die, I’m gonna die, just like any other man. dho@folioweekly.com

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SEPTEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7

Residents of a black Atlantic Beach neighborhood say it’s the cops, not hookers or drug dealers, who are destroying their quality of life acqueline McMullion takes a seat in a sprawling white wicker chair on the screened porch of her family’s Atlantic Beach home. At 45 years of age, she’s a sturdily built, small spitfire of a woman with close-cropped black hair and a debilitating heart condition. She can no longer work, but she’s got enough gumption for the jobs of matriarch of her large African-American family, neighborhood sentinel and somewhat reluctant spokesperson.

From her spot, McMullion waves as neighbors pass by on the narrow, two-laned Edgar Street in front of the house and keeps up with the goingson in Black Pine — the neighborhood name for the Donner subdivision, four blocks of Atlantic Beach west of Mayport Road that was platted in 1921

as a subdivision for black families.

Many families who live here go back a generation or two. It’s a neighborhood of bungalows, some brightly decorated with window boxes overflowing with colorful plastic flowers, others that look like their lots have just been carved from Florida palmetto scrub and pines.

McMullion grew up in this house, one of 14 children. Her roots here are deep. She’s a veritable repository of neighborhood information — about this neighbor who just had a baby, about that one who is going to college in the fall. She also knows when a local hooker named Bonnie has likely turned a trick, because she sees her riding her bicycle down Edgar on her way to buy a hit from her dealer. The police never bother

Story by Susan Cooper Eastman

Jacqueline McMullion 8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 10-16, 2014

Bonnie, McMullion says, even though drugs and prostitution are two crimes the Jacksonville Sheriff ’s Office insists are major problems in Black Pine.

McMullion laughs Bonnie off. She’s not the one destroying Black Pine’s family feel and quality of life.

No, McMullion says, that would be the cops — specifically, the JSO officers who have since January descended upon Black Pine in force, policing the neighborhood aggressively and punitively. (Both the JSO and the Atlantic Beach Police Department service the neighborhood.) There are constant patrols, with squadrons of cop cars cruising up and down the neighborhood’s four streets. It’s a constant presence, McMullion says.

It feels like a police state.

Photos by Dennis Ho

Sometimes, four cruisers will roll through at the same time, dragnet style, bypassing each other as they sweep each street. Other times, two cruisers will park at either end of the three-block-long neighborhood and sit for hours. People leaving their homes are pulled over. Bicyclists are stopped. Pedestrians are questioned: Are they affiliated with the Black Pine Gang? Do they have any tattoos? Do they have drugs on them? A weapon? Could police search them just to make sure?

During the worst of the crackdown, before the neighbors began to protest, it seemed like the (all white) cops were stopping every single black person they saw on those streets, the residents say. McMullion stopped taking her grandkids to nearby Donner Park. She stopped her daily walks, stopped riding her bike to the store.

She’s afraid of the police.

McMullion and other residents in Black Pine admit that the neighborhood has its share of difficulties. But they also describe it as a place where people still leave their doors unlocked at night, where there isn’t that much of a crime problem. And that, in their view, makes the JSO’s beefed-up presence strange and unsettling.

“We shouldn’t have to live like this,” she says.

It’s difficult to quantify how pervasive the JSO’s presence in Black Pine has been, because getting police records related to arrests and traffic stops in the neighborhood proved prohibitively expensive. The JSO, for instance, estimated that obtaining the 473 incident reports this year in the area encompassing and surrounding Black Pine would cost this magazine $2,124. For the 216 arrest reports in that area, $648. For the 10,338 traffic citations in JSO’s Zone 2, which includes Black Pine but also stretches out from Arlington to Mayport, $9,306. For computergenerated calls for service in the subsector of Zone 2 that includes Black Pine, $5,022.

Folio Weekly declined to pay what it believes to be exorbitant prices for public documents.

Since Black Pine falls within the city of Atlantic Beach, the city maintains a database of incidents in the community. Police Chief Mike Classey says his department has been collecting statistics specifically on the area he refers to as the “Mayport Corridor,” which includes Black Pine, because of an effort dating back to 2008 to address prostitution and drugs. The ABPD assigned a community police officer to the neighborhood to get to know its residents and to understand their problems. He says it’s worked well. There was a 25 percent decline in crime from 2008 to 2010, and it has stayed down.

In fact, the department has recorded just two incidents in Black Pine this year: an argument between a mother and daughter on March 3, and a shooting on May 4. That’s it.

And yet the JSO appears to have taken another, more aggressive tack, according to numerous interviews with the residents of Black Pine, one vastly out of proportion to the neighborhood’s crime problem. The JSO’s dragnet has left residents constantly looking over their shoulders. Some of them see racial animus.

“It’s a racialized situation. It’s selective enforcement,” says Opio Sokoni, president of the local chapter of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, who grew up in Black Pine. “The messages about the criminality and the danger of black men saturate the media and saturate the American consciousness. It is also the filter through which the police regard black men. They will find a pretext to stop somebody.

There’s always a reason.”

This unease led to a testy neighborhood meeting on July 8, hosted by the SCLC at the Voo-Swar Restaurant & Lounge on Robert Street, where residents loudly voiced their concerns to JSO Assistant Chief John Lamb

(who later likened it to a mob mentality) and several officers who patrol Zone 2. They heard complaint after complaint about police rudeness, forced searches and excessive stops.

Residents said they felt harassed.

To assuage these concerns, on Aug. 25 Sheriff John Rutherford did a “community walk” through Black Pine, in which he said the JSO’s activities to combat drugs and prostitution there — including stopping people for petty offenses — were par for the course throughout Duval County.

“What I’ve been hearing more from this community is that they want us here, they need us out here,” Rutherford told Folio Weekly after

You want to be a smart ass, you’re going to jail.”

Ellis says that Thomas slammed his head into the police cruiser and then grabbed his hands to handcuff him. Ellis cried out in pain and then heard a cracking sound. He kept quiet.

“He’s being this nasty to me, I wondered what other charge he might put on me if I tell him he did something wrong,” Ellis says.

Thomas arrested Ellis for disorderly intoxication. In his incident report, he said he smelled alcohol on Ellis’ breath. Ellis says he asked for a Breathalyzer test, but Thomas refused. As soon as they arrived at the jail, Ellis says he told the jailers that Thomas had hurt his hand. They told Thomas to drive him to Shands.

him to attend college for an associate of science degree in engineering technology with an ultimate goal of earning a bachelor’s in logistics.

Yet when JSO Officer Michael Gibson stopped him and his friend Keegan Kelly as they drove back to Mitchell’s house from the Kangaroo Express convenience store in the early morning hours of June 30, it was Mitchell’s decade-old record that most interested him.

Gibson first told the men he wanted to check the window tint on the Chevy Impala that Kelly had just bought. Then he wanted to know if Mitchell had been drinking (he had, but he was the passenger.)

After Gibson ran Mitchell’s driver’s license,

Ellis says he became terrified when he realized that Thomas wasn’t driving toward the hospital.

“I was panicked,” Ellis says.

So, too, was Thomas, apparently. Ellis says the officer drove him around and apologized profusely before taking him to the hospital, where he was treated for a broken thumb. The doctors put a cast on his hand that reached to his elbow.

On Jan. 23, Ellis filed an internal affairs complaint against Thomas for excessive force.

When Folio Weekly interviewed Ellis in August, he said that the investigation was ongoing. In fact, it has been closed since March 17. Although Ellis says he tried to contact investigators and never heard back, the internal affairs report says JSO investigators tried to contact him four times and left messages on his phone three times.

Because of Ellis’ unwillingness to participate, JSO exonerated Thomas.

Ellis, meanwhile, says he’s still afraid of retaliation. “I’m scared. I’m in fear. I’m in fear for my life. Right now, to this day,” he says.

he ordered him out of the car, took him to the back of the Impala, handcuffed him and searched his pockets. (Under Florida’s stop-andfrisk law, police have the right to temporarily detain a person if they believe that person has committed, is committing or is about to commit a crime. If the officer believes the person might be armed, he or she has the right to search the suspect for a weapon.)

Gibson rattled off a couple of names and asked Mitchell if he knew them. Mitchell told Gibson he’d been out of the drug game for 11 years. Gibson searched him anyway, and found a small amount of marijuana in one of his pockets. Gibson charged Mitchell with misdemeanor possession.

Mitchell pleaded no contest, and Judge Dawn Hudson withheld adjudication.

To many Americans — even those who themselves occasionally indulge — the fact that Mitchell had pot on him is proof enough that he was a suspicious character who deserved to be search. But Mitchell sees this as an example of an overzealous cop using the pretext of tinted windows and a decade-old conviction to go on a fishing expedition.

On Aug. 15, Mitchell filed a complaint against Gibson, alleging that Gibson violated his right to be free from unreasonable search and seizure. He says he’s heard the stories of other black men stopped in Black Pine and searched without cause, and he’s not taking it lying down.

A group of men in the neighborhood and across Mayport Road in Jordan Park are joining forces to help others who believe their rights have been

Antonio Ellis

“They aren’t protecting and serving at all. They are intimidating and stereotyping everyone in the neighborhood.” that walk. “Things are better. They want these officers out here. But let me say that every officer here knows that I expect them to be professional.

Nobody’s rights are going to be violated.”

The Black Pine residents Folio Weekly interviewed tell quite a different story.

T

ake, for instance, Antonio Ellis, 30, who on Jan. 20 — after the JSO dispatched three officers in response to a fight he was having with his girlfriend — asked the cops for their badge numbers, because he believed they were being rude.

Two of them complied. The third, Officer J.S. Thomas, took offense, Ellis says. After the other two walked off, Ellis says, Thomas snarled at him, “Oh, you want to be a smart ass? Fuck that.

O

r take Desi Mitchell.

Mitchell, 48, admits he’s not exactly a poster boy for police harassment claims.

In 2003, the JSO arrested him for trafficking in cocaine and purchasing a controlled substance with the intent to sell. He eventually pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 18 months in jail.

But that was 11 years ago, the ex-Marine and Desert Storm vet points out. Today he is an electrician, a father of four, has had his voting rights restored, and the military is paying for

SEPTEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9

violated to file complaints.

“I’m not going to let it go,” Mitchell says. “I’m a disabled vet. I put my life on the line to defend the constitution of the United States, and I will be damned if I allow someone to violate and trample over the rights that I put my life on the line to defend. That is not going to happen.”

O

r take Taron Johnson.

On July 26, he got dressed up in funeral clothes: black dress shirt, black slacks, black dress shoes, black tie. Then he drove his burgundy Chevy Impala to Atlantic Beach to pick up his cousin. It was a sad day.

Both Taron and his cousin thought of 19-yearold Harold Breion Long as family. They’d all grown up together in Black Pine, playing kickball, basketball, video games, and pee-wee and high school football together.

Long was standing near Cypress Landing Drive near Mayport on July 14 when someone drove past and shot him dead. News reports mentioned that Long had just been released from prison two weeks earlier; he’d been locked

remained jovial and polite. He didn’t want to give the cops a reason to do anything. But he’s not happy about what happened.

“They aren’t protecting and serving us at all,” he says. “They are intimidating and stereotyping everyone in the neighborhood.”

M

cMullion says she saw the JSO’s alleged heavy-handed tactics up close in midAugust, when family members from as far away as Georgia and South Carolina descended on her house after her grandmother died. The JSO took notice. Officers drove by her house, slowing down as they passed. They parked at the corner of the street and waited, watching. When her relatives left the house, several were pulled over before they turned onto Mayport Road. One’s window tint was dark. Police suspected another wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. The cops ran their licenses, questioned them, made them feel like criminals.

“We catch hell in this neighborhood,” says Loeva Davis-Johnson, McMullion’s youngest sister.

Emanual Brown up for cocaine possession. Whatever he did wrong, Johnson says, Long’s crimes weren’t violent. He was well-liked. At a neighborhood memorial in Donner Park, more than 100 people showed up.

The funeral was at noon. But before they could mourn their friend, they had a run-in with the JSO. Johnson was driving on Hidden Cove Circle on their way to the Titus Harvest Dome Spectrum Church, across the Intracoastal Waterway, when a JSO officer did a U-turn and flashed his lights. Johnson pulled over. When the officer came to the car, he said he thought the men weren’t wearing seatbelts; they were.

He asked for their identification. Johnson says he wasn’t worried because neither he nor his cousin has ever been in trouble. Johnson, 22, is studying physical therapy at FAMU and planning to go to graduate school. His cousin, who did not want to be named, works at and attends Florida State College at Jacksonville.

But then another cop pulled up, and things got weird. The officers asked the men if they were gang members, if they had drugs or weapons in the car. They asked to search the car.

They asked the men if they had tattoos. Johnson said an officer asked him to unbutton his shirt so that he could see if he had any tattoos on his chest. Then he let them go.

“I’m kind of puzzled what it was about me, what impression did I give off that made you assume I’m a gang member?”

He could only conclude that it was his race.

Throughout the ordeal, Johnson says, he 10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 10-16, 2014

“We’re just saying we got a bunch of good citizens over here,” says Black Pine resident Emanual Brown. “When you pull them over and talk shit to them, you are being disrespectful to the people who are actually paying your bills.

These are homeowners. These are taxpayers.”

The JSO patrols don’t affect just the individuals in Black Pine, Brown says. They also hurt the area’s black-owned businesses, like Lacy McMullion’s Touch of Class auto detailing shop on Mayport Road and the Voo-Swar Restaurant.

“You pull everybody over who leaves this car wash or leaves the club over here, what do you think their customers are going to do next time they want a sandwich or want to get their car washed?” Brown asks. “They won’t come here.”

Brown’s father and grandfather worked for the city of Atlantic Beach, and he works for the city himself. He heard so many complaints about policing in his neighborhood that he contacted the SCLC, which set up the July 8 community meeting.

The residents at that meeting specifically complained about two officers who frequently patrolled their part of Zone 2: Gibson and Lt. Steve Mullen. After the meeting, Lamb told Action News that he was surprised by the neighborhood’s furor because his department had received few complaints about police misconduct, and they had been dismissed as either unfounded or not sustained. Lamb said he planned to examine the officers’ arrest records and the crime rates in the area to determine if his officers’ policing methods were successful.

(Later, during Sheriff Rutherford’s

community walk in August, Lamb said he’d reviewed Gibson’s arrest numbers. Of the 159 arrests that Gibson made from January 2013 to July 2014, 38 percent were for drug offenses and 26 percent were for crimes that involved violence. “I don’t want to knock anybody for that,” he said. His conclusion? “He’s one of our better officers.”)

The patrols eased up some after the July 8 meeting, Brown says. But after the murder of Harold Long in late July, the police returned in force (though Long wasn’t killed in Black Pine, but in a nearby neighborhood). It has been only recently, after a third meeting of Sokoni, Brown and Lamb, that the patrols have eased up again.

For now.

O

n his Aug. 25 community walk, an effort to quell the tension between the cops and Black Pine residents, Sheriff Rutherford said his men were there to combat the twin evils of drugs and prostitution. Brown and others say they’ve been told by police that the cops are battling an outfit that calls itself the Black Pine Gang, which may or may not, in fact, exist.

McMullion, who seems to know everything about everything in this neighborhood, says she’s never heard of it. Another older resident scoffed at the idea: “If these guys have a gang, it’s the most disorganized gang there ever was. They couldn’t even get together and agree to go up to the store to buy a soda.”

Rutherford arrived with an entourage of 18 or more uniformed officers — including Gibson and Mullen, about whom residents have most complained — with more on bicycles and a group of people trailing him. He strode up and down the streets, shaking hands, talking to residents, posing for pictures. He told them that his officers were there to help the law-abiding residents of the neighborhood keep crime at bay. Most everybody he talked to seemed a little star-struck.

At the Voo-Swar, an uncomfortable Brown suggested to Rutherford that he should send some experienced officers to the neighborhood, officers who had a sense of the community. He said some of the officers out there now seem mostly interested in padding their arrest stats.

As he spoke, Gibson stood nearby, listening and commenting to another officer — prompting Brown to assure him that it was nothing personal.

When Rutherford mentioned to one woman that some people in the neighborhood had complained about the police, she suggested that “Maybe it’s the ones making trouble who are complaining.”

Rutherford liked that idea. “Thank you!” he exclaimed.

Later, Rutherford said that the worst complaint he’d heard was that his officers didn’t wave at children, which he attributed to them being harried from running call to call because of budget cuts.

Rutherford told Folio Weekly that he wished more residents with a positive impression of the JSO had attended the Voo-Swar meeting back in July, and that he came away from his walk believing that most of the community supports what the JSO is doing.

But with his entourage of armed officers and his glad-handing, the walk really wasn’t the place for a serious discussion of police tactics. Several residents concluded afterward that Rutherford really didn’t want to understand their issues.

McMullion says Rutherford cut her off when she tried to talk to him. “That was a stage show.

That’s what that was,” she says.

Since she spoke out at the July 8 meeting, McMullion says, she’s lived in fear that the JSO will target her and her large family. She stays inside most of the time.

“I’m terrified,” she says. seastman@folioweekly.com

SEPTEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11

Our Picks

FREE FILM FEST! JAX NIGHT OF FILM

Reasons to leave the house this week

“Night of Film” does not do this event justice: Ritz Theatre & Museum has planned an all-day celluloid frenzy for movie lovers of all ages. Jax Night of Film showcases two full-length features and three shorts. At 2 p.m., children can walk the red carpet before viewing the locally filmed The New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking (pictured).

At 6 p.m., there’s a screening of four shorts: To the Moon and Paradisaea Apoda, produced by FSU film students; Student Academy Award-winning Person, produced by Art Institute of Jacksonville students; and the 48 Hour Film Project winner, No Laughing Matter. The main event is at 7:30 p.m. with the premiere screening of The Double, starring Jesse Eisenberg. Sept. 13, Ritz Theatre & Museum, Downtown, free.

5LOUDERPALOOZA POINTS TURNS UP TO 11 3

Lace up your best combat boots and call the National Guard: The third annual Louderpalooza, a collective gig put on by local punk/ska bands, is coming to rain dogs. Last year’s show was an angry, passionate hot mess – and a hell of a good time. This year’s iteration promises the same.

The show features Community Cervix, Minor Influence, Simplex 1, The Last Son, The Mold (pictured) and many more; a compilation CD of the bands playing and other local punk/ska acts is available for $5. 8 p.m. Sept. 12 at rain dogs., 5 Points, free.

ART & MATH FOUR DIMENSIONS: THE MYSTIC & FUN

DIG THEM BLUES AMELIA ISLAND BLUES FESTIVAL

Now in its fourth year, the Amelia Island Blues Festival returns to Main Beach Friday night and all day Saturday, bringing in eight pretty solid blues acts – including The Mojo Roots, John Primer and 18-year-old guitar wunderkind Matthew Curry, who’s well worth a Google – at quite reasonable prices against a gorgeous ocean backdrop. But let’s focus for a minute on bearded, train-engineer-hatted one-man-band Ben Prestage (pictured), who opens the festival’s Saturday with an hourlong history of the blues at 12:15 p.m. and also performs in between the other bands’ sets, and who, if you had to pick one, is the event’s absolute can’t-miss. A Florida native descended from a lineage that includes vaudevillians and Mississippi sharecroppers, Prestage has made a name for himself through innovative multi-instrumentation, clever songwriting and wild-eyed, raucous performances that kinda feel like a whiskey shot. (He was once named The Most Unique Performer – which is redundant, yes, but still – at The Songwriters’ Showcase of America.) 6 p.m. Sept. 12, noon Sept. 13, Main Beach, Amelia Island, $10-$75, ameliaislandbluesfest.com.

OF ART & MATHEMATICS

Artists have been applying mathematical theory in art and architecture since time immemorial, from the golden ratio used to build the Parthenon to Leonardo da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man to M.C. Escher’s dizzying infinity drawings. Four local artists have teamed up to explore this relationship through various themes and styles, including multimedia works by Overstreet Ducasse based on the Book of Numbers and continuous-line ink portraits by fellow CoRK resident artist Stephanie Glen, highlighting the traveling salesman problem in applied mathematics. Works by local artists Rhonda Bristol and Susanne Schuenke are also featured. 4 p.m. Sept. 13 at CoRK Arts District, Riverside, free.

CONVERSATIONS LET’S TALK ABOUT IT: MUSLIM JOURNEYS

Created by the National Endowment for the Humanities, the Let’s Talk About It: Muslim Journeys series is an ongoing project to educate and spread awareness about the customs and traditions of Muslim culture. Having already made an appearance at Jacksonville Public Library, this final event at UNF involves storytelling, spoken word, music and an open conversation about how we share various cultural heritages in the 21st century. Admission is free, but tickets are required; call 620-1529 or email onejax@unf.edu. 7 p.m.

Sept. 18 at Herbert University Center, University of North Florida, Southside, free.

12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 10-16, 2014

ASCULPTURE NEW FACE FOR DOWNTOWN WALK JAX

Something big is happening in Main Street Park – something designed to change the face of Jacksonville’s urban landscape. Affiliated with this weekend’s Connection Festival (see page 14), Sculpture Walk Jax, funded by the Cultural Council’s Spark Grant program and curated by UNF associate professor of sculpture Jenny Hager, has dotted the park and a few nearby spots with 10 large-scale sculptures and three functional street pieces. Local, national and international artists have created works for this year-long exhibition; when the year’s up, all the pieces will be up for sale.

Sculpture Walk’s Grand Opening Guided Tour starts at 6 p.m. Sept. 12, Main Street Park, Downtown.

ONE

Matching Donor Is All It Takes.

Join Nemours Children’s Clinic, Mayo Clinic, and Wolfson Children’s Hospital in a drive to add potential donors to the Be the Match Registry. Registering as a marrow donor is fast, free and painless. More than 70 diseases, including leukemia, lymphoma, and sickle cell, can be cured.

Saturday, September 13 Noon – 4 p.m.

St. Johns Town Center Visit: BeTheMatch.org/UnitedInHope

SEPTEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13

A&E // MUSIC Air, This Frontier Needs Heroes, SWIMM, Canary in the Coalmine — to perform alongside those top names on the Main Stage.

But they also went much further, instituting a jam-packed (and 100 percent free) Venue Series lineup that gives 75 more local acts the chance to perform at surrounding venues like Burrito Gallery, Burro Bar, 1904 Music Hall, Underbelly and The Volstead. “Connection Festival is designed with local at its core,� Puig says, “which is why we have some of Jacksonville’s fastest growing acts right alongside the national and international performers on the Main Stage. [Then], the Venue Series is designed to stimulate the local economy [and serve] as a platform for both up-and-coming and established artists and the venues involved, as well. The more exposure CONNECTION FESTIVAL featuring SEBADOH, NAUGHTY BY NATURE, SURFER BLOOD, DJ LOGIC, KERMIT RUFFINS, LESS THAN JAKE, CIBO MATTO, SUGARHILL GANG, SIDEREAL and more Sept. 12-14 Main Stage on Main and Adams streets, Downtown.

Venue Series at Burrito Gallery, Burro Bar, 1904 Music Hall, Underbelly, and The Volstead. $35-$275, connectionfestival.com

we can help bring to our partner venues, the more Downtown grows.�

If you’re into all things tech, Connection Festival has you covered as well. On Sunday, Hooks will moderate a business and tech meetup at CoWork Jax titled “Art & Commerce in the Digital Age.� The idea, Puig says, is to “demystify technology� and give it its rightful place as an underlying engine of creativity. “Connection Festival speaks to the historical arch of technology and how we continue to elevate our potential by creating more tools to facilitate communication and the production of ideas,� he says. “Most people hear ‘technology’ and think of Facebook or the latest and CIBO MATTO greatest app. But when we peel back the layers of our creative process in art, music and business, technology can be found in almost everything.�

Even with such a highminded theme — and a long-term vision of hosting simultaneous festivals in different global cities with cross-broadcast, live-streamed events — Connection Festival still remains firmly rooted in the local. More than 25 art and business vendors will post up in the Main Street Park Family Zone, along with 15 purveyors of area food and guys) a miniaturized version of South by drink. All will be situated amid the grand Southwest. The Main Stage on the corner of opening of Sculpture Walk, and an adjacent Main and Adams will host a wildly divergent Art Pavilion will feature street performers, assortment of acclaimed international acts music workshops, hands-on art activities, that reflect Puig, Lezcano, and Gregory’s yoga sessions and dance presentations by respective interests. Indie rock favorites like professional companies and local studios.

Surfer Blood will rub shoulders with ska Puig believes the variegated experiences mainstays Less Than Jake; hip-hop kingpins offer a holistic immersion in Downtown’s like Sugarhill Gang, Naughty By Nature and transformation into an active cultural hub.

DJ Logic; regionally authentic fixtures like “The connection with Downtown Jacksonville New Orleans jazz master Kermit Ruffins and is very important to us,� he says. “Downtown Puerto Rican salsa legends La Quilombera; has a certain energy and buzz around it, and and avant-garde cult artists like Cibo Matto, everyone [is] interested in seeing it fulfill Nels Cline and Sebadoh.

Puig, Lezcano and Gregory reached out to a its potential. We’re just grateful to be able to contribute to that journey.� similarly broad swath of Duval groovemasters — Northe, Whole Wheat Bread, Sidereal, Nick McGregor Parker Urban Band, Universal Green, Orange mail@folioweekly.com

NEW KID ON THE BLOCK The inaugural Connection Festival features a far-flung mix of national and local artists, technology, and creativity

DJ LOGIC

To Benefit Angels for Allison

Free Public

to the

MEMORIAL PARK

1620 Riverside Ave. Jacksonville, FL 32204

Food - Games - Live Music - Football - Fun

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$% & $% & ' '

Angels for Allison is an opportunity to gather in God’s name to help with the financial needs of families who are suffering the loss of a child.

For more information go to www.angelsforallison.org

14(1/8| PG FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 10-16, #1001801676 VERTICAL(3.28in x 8in)) 08/27/2014 09:31 EST 2014

L

et’s make one thing clear about the inaugural Connection Festival, scheduled for Downtown Jacksonville on Sept. 12-14. It’s not a “mini One Spark,� as First Coast News described it on Aug. 20. And it doesn’t just “seek to build upon One Spark’s success,� as the Florida Times-Union wrote in July.

Yes, One Spark and Connection Festival both focus on modern technology and how that drives commerce and creativity. Yes, both have a stated goal of re-energizing Downtown.

And yes, Connection Festival co-founders Mateo Puig, Joseph Lezcano and Julia Gregory first publicly launched the idea behind their three-day open-air festival at One Spark 2014, securing a primary investment from Jax Beach native Scott Hooks, who co-founded the social networking app Yubixi.

But as Puig, who serves as Connection Festival’s tech & commerce coordinator, tells Folio Weekly, “There is a fundamental difference between [One Spark’s] mission and Connection Festival’s: One Spark, which is doing great things for the Jacksonville community, focuses on helping startup ventures and ideas find their funding to elevate into fully fledged businesses, whereas Connection Festival offers a platform for those ventures and ideas that are already established within the community to present the best of the local arts and business scene alongside national and international communities.�

Consider it less of a fundraising/networking platform and more of a good old-fashioned music festival mixed with (forgive the analogy,

A&E // MUSIC

PLANET CARAVAN Lolipop Records brings a kaleidoscopic four-band Adventure Tour across the country and into Downtown Wyatt Blair

P

ackage tours might seem like a thing of the Her Psychedelic Subconscious demonstrates how chintzy, Vegas-inspired past. But the goodfar this band has come from its early bedroom times garage-rock kingpins at California’s beginnings — and how successful a rock band Lolipop Records have, with big-brother label can be without a single guitar in sight. Mr. Burger Records, recently perfected the fourElevator also shows the most mainstream bands-in-one-van all-star caravan. When you’re promise of any Adventure Tour bands. They 25 years old, what better existence is there recently had a song used in a Yves St. Laurent than traipsing across the American landscape campaign, and Vice’s music blog Noisey raved spreading a groovy gospel of communal DIY thusly back in March: “Watching musicians stop ethics, psych-rock revivalism and sunny, surfy drinking beer in order to listen to someone else’s indie-pop injected with a bit of streetwise scuzz? band paying in a van backstage says a hell of a Three (Wyatt Blair, Mr. Elevator & The Brain lot about how good these guys [are].”

Hotel and Froth) of the four bands (Corners is the other) of the Lolipop Adventure Tour FROTH contain members who co-founded the cassetteJooJoo Ashworth, Jeff Fribourg, Jeremy focused Lolipop Records in Laguna Beach in Katz and Cameron Allen inject more ominous 2010. Since then, the label has grown into a new psychedelia into their music than any other brick-and-mortar retail space and recording Lolipop Adventure Tour band, thanks to studio/practice spot in LA, right next to Fribourg’s omnichord, a keytar-shaped quasilegendary local venue The Echo (proceeds from futuristic instrument manufactured by Suzuki the business venture funded in the 1980s. The fourLOLIPOP ADVENTURE TOUR: FROTH, the two vans currently piece pulls heavily from MR. ELEVATOR & THE BRAIN HOTEL, California influences like carrying the 10-12 musicians WYATT BLAIR and CORNERS, Brian Jonestown Massacre around the country). with THE MOLD Together and separately 9 p.m. Sept. 11 at Underbelly, Downtown, and Entrance Band but $10, 699-8186, underbellylive.com doesn’t take itself nearly (Blair performs solo and in as seriously as Anton Mr. Elevator), each outfit packs a walloping wall of sound, encompassing Newcombe or Guy Blakeslee, insisting in everything from trippy classic rock to jangly interviews that Froth started as a fake band psych-folk to sun-kissed beach pop to spiky just to look cool, only actually picking up their post-punk to lo-fi garage slop. Intrigued? instruments when their friends begged them You should be. Read on for more detailed to make music. Since then, Froth has been descriptions of each of the LA-based bands. insanely productive, releasing a debut fulllength, a cassette and a 7-inch — and embarking on two national tours spanning major festivals WYATT BLAIR like Lollapalooza and Austin Psych Fest in the The Dana Point native isn’t just the leader last 12 months alone. They’re also the most of the Lolipop tribe — he’s also a devout recent Lolipop Adventure Tour act to visit St. foot-soldier member. Sure, he released his Augustine, back in May. effervescent 2013 solo full-length, Banana Cream Dream, on Burger Records. But Blair’s CORNERS the main driving force behind Lolipop’s rosecolored ethos, which is all about giving bands Tracy Bryant, Billy Changer, Rick Mabery affordable means of producing music — and and Jeff Ramuno have LA’s fertile garage rock fans affordable ways to buy it. “I started it as soil under their fingernails, but they also stand on their own strengths: a New Wave/post-punk a funny thing, hand-dubbing tapes by myself influence, three recording or sound engineers in my kitchen,” he told Folio Weekly in 2013. “[Now] that’s just sprawled and kept rolling like in the band, and an intriguing mix of “primal a snowball.” rock ’n’ roll with a surfy style,” as Mabery has described Corners. In July, the quartet completed a residency at The Echo, considered MR. ELEVATOR & THE BRAIN HOTEL a rite of passage in the LA rock scene, and its Though Blair plays drums for Mr. Elevator heavily synthesized and bass-heavy full-length & The Brain Hotel, the spotlight here rightfully debut, Maxed Out on Distraction, drops on shines on frontman/keyboardist Tomas Oct. 23.

Dolas, who pounds his Hammond organ into submission with skittering, Manzarek-inspired Nick McGregor fury. Listening to last year’s zonked-out Nico & mail@folioweekly.com SEPTEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15

THE KNIFE

LET’S GIVE IT

TO THE DOGS Photo Illustration by Dana Fasano

D

ogs and rock-’n’-roll. They just go together.

From the late Bradley Nowell’s obsession with his faithful companion and musical inspiration Lou Dog to Kate Bush’s Hounds of Love, from Frank Zappa’s explicit poodle lectures to Parliament Funkadelic’s Atomic Dog, from Temple of the Dog to Snoop Doggy Dogg, canines have found a comfortable home in the music biz. So it makes sense that in order to raise money to fund a Jacksonville dog park, organizers would stage a rock show at, yes, rain dogs.

The proposed dog park, to be opened adjacent to Riverside Park beneath the ever-expanding Fuller Warren I-10/I-95 interchange, hasn’t had an easy time of it.

The conservative group Florida TaxWatch has listed the dog park as one of its “turkeys,” a project that it believes should be removed from Gov. Scott’s $77.1 billion budget. The Times-Union recently reported that TaxWatch claims it did not pass through proper reviews, though art patron and Riverside Avondale Preservation founder Wayne Wood responded that the park would “make up for the harm” the ongoing construction has had on the area.

It seems a bit unfair for a watchdog agency (pun sort of intended) to tighten the fiscal reins on something as good for the community as a dog park, what with rampant pork barrel projects, the useless tax suck known as the war on drugs, and the immunity the IRS affords churches and associated “faith-based” businesses. A dog park brings people (and their animals) together, and its location in the heart of Riverside can only enhance the area’s image.

And, oh yeah, it’s good for business, too.

Regardless of the hardships, a good portion of the needed money has been raised, but there’s still a healthy chunk left to go — about $65,000. So it’s rock-’n’-roll to the rescue. On Sept. 19 and 20, a raft of bands will perform at rain dogs. in 5 Points, part of a larger event that includes a silent auction, raffles, and

16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 10-16, 2014

giveaways from local vendors and merchants that Wednesday through Sunday throughout Riverside. As a little doggie treat, Sun-Ray Cinema is screening Christopher Guest’s comedy Best in Show on Sunday, Sept. 21 at 1 p.m. (Guest played bumbling guitarist Nigel Tufnel in the classic mock-rockumentary This is Spinal Tap, simultaneously deepening and stretching to the breaking point the canine/ rock-’n’-roll connection.)

As for the fundraising concerts themselves, the Sept. 19 show features The New Leaves, New Strangers, Jesse Montoya and others.

Jacksonville punk mainstay Grabbag joins Moon Cheese Babies, Single White Herpe, Sleepy Trees and other oddly named bands on Sept. 20. It’s my hope that each band will incorporate a dog song into their sets — maybe Zeppelin’s “Black Dog” or Nazareth’s “Hair of the Dog.” Hell, I’d even settle for Frampton’s “Rocky’s Hot Club.”

Lest we make too much of the whole puppop pairing, it bears noting that rain dogs. uses quite a bit of arf-centric imagery in its décor. You’ve been meaning to check out the Park Street-based nightspot, right? Here’s your chance. The underground vibe of the venue’s backroom lends some much-needed street cred to the increasingly gentrified-looking 5 Points, and the fact that it caters to local original bands of all stripes should be lauded.

The low ceilings and dank concrete interior harken to the early days of Dante’s Inferno when it was housed in the Milk Bar, which, in this writer’s opinion, is a good thing.

No word as to whether mutts are invited to attend the concerts, but pooches are often seen roaming around the “front porch” area at rain dogs. I wouldn’t be surprised to see a few sneaking in to hear the music and lift a leg in honor of what will, with any luck, be a brand new Riverside dog park in the very near future.

John E. Citrone theknife@folioweekly.com

A&E // MUSIC

UNDERPASS, BURNT HAIR (pictured), HEAVY FLOW and RATE OF DECAY play Sept. 12 at Deep Search Records in Riverside.

CONCERTS THIS WEEK

Music by the Sea: GO GET GONE Sept. 10 at SJC Pier Park, St. Augustine, free, thecivicassociation.org.

THE TRADITIONAL Sept. 10 at Burro Bar, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, 353-6067.

ROADKILL GHOST CHOIR, IN TONGUES Sept. 10 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, 699-8186.

Lolipop Caravan: FROTH, MR. ELEVATOR & THE BRAIN HOTEL, WYATT BLAIR, CORNERS, THE MOLD Sept. 11, Underbelly JB SCOTT KELLY JAZZ BAND 7 p.m. Sept. 11 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., San Marco, 352-7008.

REND COLLECTIVE Sept. 11, Murray Hill Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., Riverside, 388-7807.

ESE Sept. 11, Burro Bar UNDERPASS, BURNT HAIR, HEAVY FLOW, RATE OF DECAY Sept. 12 at Deep Search Records, 822 Lomax St., Riverside, 423-0969.

FORTUNATE YOUTH, THE STEPPAS, ASHES OF BABYLON, EASE UP Sept. 12, Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473.

ANGELS FOR HIRE, JONNIE MORGAN BAND Sept. 12, Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496.

GLASS CAMELS Sept. 12, The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611.

Amelia Island Blues Fest: JOHN PRIMER, SAMANTHA FISH, BERNARD ALLISON, CURTIS SALGADO, BEN PRESTAGE, THE MOJO ROOTS, MATTHEW CURRY, ROGER HURRICANE WILSON Sept. 12 & 13, Main Beach, Fernandina Connection Festival: KERMIT RUFFINS & the BBQ SWINGERS, LESS THAN JAKE, SURFER BLOOD, WHOLE WHEAT BREAD, TREME BRASS BAND, THIS FRONTIER NEEDS HEROES, JACKIE STRANGER, WEEKEND ATLAS, NORTHE, EGO KILLER, JAH ELECT & the I QUALITY BAND, ORANGE AIR, ALEXIS RHODE, PROF. KILMURE, RUFFIANS, THE GOOTCH, ASKMEIFICARE, DIRTY AUTOMATIC, WOVEN IN, TOM BENNETT BAND, MONDO MIKE & the PO BOYS, ARTILECT, OSCAR MIKE, KANA KIEHM, PARKER URBAN BAND, KNOCK FOR SIX, NEVER ENDING STRUGGLE Sept.

12-14, Downtown Jacksonville 1964: THE TRIBUTE (Beatles tribute) Sept. 13, Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787.

J. BOOG, HOT RAIN Sept. 13, Jack Rabbits Connection Festival Main Stage: THE TOM BENNETT BAND, TROPIC OF CANCER, THIS FRONTIER NEEDS HEROES, LA QUILOMBERA, TAMBOR, SWIMM, PARKER URBAN BAND, TONY SPINNER, KERMIT RUFFIANS, DJ LOGIC, NAUGHTY

BY NATURE Sept. 13, Main & Adams streets, Downtown.

PAPADOSIO, ASIAN TEACHER FACTORY Sept. 13, Freebird Live GOVINDA, BIT DEFF, VLAD THE INHALER Sept. 13, Underbelly Connection Festival Main Stage: NORTHE, CANARY IN THE COALMINE, ORANGE AIR, SIDEREAL, UNIVERSAL GREEN, SUGARHILL GANG, CIBO MATTO, NELS CLINE, WHOLE WHEAT BREAD, LESS THAN JAKE, SURFER BLOOD, SEBADOAH Sept. 14, Main & Adams streets, Downtown.

ABK Sept. 14, Aqua Nightclub & Lounge, 11000 Beach Blvd., Ste. 21, Southside, 334-2122.

SHERYL CROW Sept. 14, The Florida Theatre ASKMEIFICARE, PLANETRAWK, SAMURAI SHOTGUN Sept.

14, Jack Rabbits B-SIDE PLAYERS Sept. 16, Jack Rabbits

UPCOMING CONCERTS

JOEY CAPE (Lagwagon), CHRIS CRESSWELL (Flatliners), BRIAN WAHLSTROM Sept. 17, Jack Rabbits GRANGER SMITH & EARL DIBBLES JR. Sept 17, Mavericks Music by the Sea: NAVY PRIDE Sept. 17, SJC Pier Park VIOLENT OPPOSITION, ATMA, RITES, WYS GYS Sept. 18, Shantytown THE PRETTY RECKLESS, ADELITA’S WAY Sept. 18, Freebird Live GOLDEN PELICANS, THE MOLD, KING BABY & THE DUKES, MOUNT THE STALLION Sept. 18, Underbelly ROOTZ UNDERGROUND, THE HIP ABDUCTION Sept. 18, 1904 Music Hall THE DRUIDS Sept. 18, Ragtime Tavern

MAD CADDIES Sept. 18, Jack Rabbits TELESMA, ACID MAJIK Sept. 19, Freebird Live CHRIS STAPLETON Sept. 19, Mavericks TORCHE, POST TEENS Sept. 19, Burro Bar GREENHOUSE LOUNGE, S.P.O.R.E. Sept. 19, 1904 Music Hall THE GET RIGHT BAND Sept. 19 & 20, The White Lion A Night of Dark Ambient: SCARED RABBITS, MONOLITH TRANSMISSIONS, SEA OF APPARITIONS, THE SEPIA RAVEN, CON RIT Sept. 20, CoRK Arts District AUTARX, COLD WASTE, BURNT HAIR, HANG UP YOUR BOOTS Sept. 20, Shantytown JACK WHITE Sept. 20, T-U Center STICK FIGURE, PACIFIC DUB, HIRIE Sept. 20, Freebird Live HAWTHORNE HEIGHTS, THE RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS, NEW EMPIRE, FAMOUS LAST WORDS, THE ONGOING CONCEPT, EVERYBODY RUN, EVERSAY Sept. 21, Freebird Live Experience Hendrix: BUDDY GUY, KENNY WAYNE SHEPHERD, JONNY LANG, DOYLE BRAMHALL II, ERIC JOHNSON, CHRIS LAYTON, ZAKK WYLDE, BILLY COX Sept.

21, Florida Theatre JOYCE MANOR, DES ARK, THE EXQUISITES Sept. 21, 1904 Music Hall MIKE SHACKELFORD ACOUSTIC Sept. 21, Bull Park AB AB-SOUL Sept. 21, Mavericks

GRITTY MUSICK, DRAZAH & TUNK, SUPER SMASH BROS, STATIC, DOC SEUSS Sept. 23, Jack Rabbits COUCHES, FIFIELD, THE STOCKTONS Sept. 24, Burro Bar JERROD NIEMANN, RAE LYNN Sept. 25, Mavericks CODE ORANGE, TWITCHING TONGUES, AXIS, BLISTERED, RHYTHM OF FEAR Sept. 25, Burro Bar MEGHAN LINSEY, JORDYN STODDARD Sept. 25, Café Eleven BRONCHO, SUNBEARS! Sept. 26, Jack Rabbits GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE, JACKSONVEGAS, BRYCE ALASTAIR BAND Sept. 26, Freebird Live BOOGIE FREAKS Sept. 26 & 27, Ragtime Tavern Clean Water Festival: CANARY IN THE COALMINE, CHICO LOBOS BAND, BE EASY, FLAGSHIP ROMANCE, THE DOG APOLLO, OSCAR MIKE, ADAM SAMS, THIS FRONTIER NEEDS HEROES, FORT STORIES, MONDO MIKE & THE PO BOYS, CHASING JONAH, THE WILLOWWACKS, FOUR FAMILIES, THE RUBIES, DALTON CYR, BETHANY & THE TROUBADORS, RACHAEL WARFIELD, DENVER, BOB PATTERSON & PARADOX Sept. 27, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PETER FRAMPTON Sept. 30, The Florida Theatre DAVID GRAY Oct. 1, The Florida Theatre GYM SHORTS, TIGHT GENES, THE MOLD, TOUCH Oct. 1, Burro Bar KEITH SWEAT, HOWARD HEWITT Oct. 3, T-U Center DJ VADIM, FORT KNOX FIVE Oct. 3, Freebird Live SISTER KILL CYCLE Oct. 3, Club TSI WIDESPREAD PANIC Oct. 5, St. Augustine Amphitheatre GOV’T MULE Oct. 9, The Florida Theatre RICHARD MARX Oct. 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall GARTH BROOKS Oct. 10-12, Veterans Memorial Arena ’68, CARRY THE WEIGHT, SACK THE CITY Oct. 10, Burro Bar SHIVAS, TOMBOI Oct. 11, Underbelly EARTH, WIND & FIRE Oct. 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre TREVOR HALL, CAS HALEY Oct. 12, Freebird Live HOME FREE VOCAL BAND Oct. 14, T-U Center’s Terry Theater EYES SET TO KILL, SCARE DON’T FEAR, LIKE MONROE, CLAUDE BOURBON Oct. 14, Mudville Music Room WILLY PORTER, BRENT BYRD Oct. 16, Café Eleven Magnolia Fest: LYLE LOVETT, BELA FLECK, JASON ISBELL, INDIGO GIRLS, DONNA THE BUFFALO, DR. JOHN, THE WAILERS, JIM LAUDERDALE, THE LEE BOYS, GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE, FLAGSHIP ROMANCE, PARKER URBAN BAND, CHELSEA SADDLER Oct. 16-19, Suwannee Music Park THE ACACIA STRAIN, THE PLOT IN YOU, CANE HILL, DIG

DEEP Oct. 17, 1904 Music Hall UNDERHILL ROSE Oct. 17, Mudville Music Room DISCIPLE, PROJECT 86 Oct. 17, Murray Hill Theatre DAVID NAIL Oct. 17, Mavericks RINGO STARR & HIS ALL STARR BAND Oct. 18, Moran Theater MOTLEY CRUE, ALICE COOPER Oct. 19, Vets Memorial Arena ZIGGY MARLEY Oct. 19, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BLOCKHEAD, ELAQUENT, MUNSHINE Oct. 19, Underbelly LOS LONELY BOYS Oct. 21, The Florida Theatre THE NTH POWER, SQUEEDLEPUSS, SAM SANDERS Oct. 21, Freebird Live AUTHORITY ZERO, KOUP DE TAT Oct. 21, Jack Rabbits THE DEVIL MAKES THREE, CAVE SINGERS Oct. 22, Freebird MIKE WATT, HEY MANDIBLE Oct. 23, Jack Rabbits JUSTIN HAYWARD Oct. 22, Florida Theatre IL SOGNO DEL MARINAIO, MEMPHIBIANS Oct. 23, Jack Rabbits ANDY McKEE Oct. 23, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall

Service Industry Specials Sun.-Thurs.

Wed: Ladies Night w/DJ Corey B 50¢ Drinks & Drafts

Thur: DJ Big Mike $2 Miller Lite, Coors Lt $3 Fire Eater, $4 Bacardi $5 Jack Daniels

LIVE MUSIC

Fri-Sat:

GLASS CAMELS

231 Blanding Blvd Orange Park (904) 264-0611

www.RoadhouseOP.com

SEPTEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17

A&E // MUSIC ANJELAH JOHNSON Oct. 24, The Florida Theatre FINCH, MAPS & ATLASES, WEATHERBOX Oct. 24, Freebird Live ICED EARTH, REVAMP, AMON AMARTH, SABATON, SKELETONWITCH Oct. 25, Freebird Live PAUL McCARTNEY Oct. 25, Veterans Memorial Arena BLEEDING IN STEREO, WORLD GONE, DENIED TIL DEATH, PRIMITIVE HARD DRIVE Oct. 25, Jack Rabbits MARK JOHNSON & EMORY LESTER Oct. 26, Café Eleven THE POLISH AMBASSADOR Oct. 29, Freebird Live MIKE DOUGHTY Oct. 29, Café Eleven Halloween Cover Show: OBN IIIS, GOLDEN PELICANS, BURNT HAIR, RIVERSIDE PARTY GIRLS Oct. 30, Underbelly SUPERVILLAINS, THROUGH THE ROOTS Oct. 31, Freebird Live Suwannee Hulaween: THIEVERY CORPORATION, BIG GIGANTIC, BEATS ANTIQUE, NEW DEAL, JOE RUSSO’S ALMOST DEAD, GREENSKY BLUEGRASS, RISING APPALACHIA, HEAVY PETS, GREENHOUSE LOUNGE, MICHAEL TRAVIS, JASON HANN

Oct. 31-Nov. 2, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park ANGEL OLSEN, LIONLIMB Nov. 1, Jack Rabbits STEVE POLTZ, DONNY BRAZILE Nov. 1, Café Eleven NEW KINGSTON, I RESOLUTION, MYSTIC DINO & THE KIDS, DJ RAGGAMUFFIN Nov. 2, Freebird Live MELVINS Nov. 3, Jack Rabbits CASTING CROWNS Nov. 6, Veterans Memorial Arena Old City Music Fest: OLD DOMINION, JASON D. WILLIAMS Nov. 7, St. Augustine START MAKING SENSE Nov. 7, Jack Rabbits Old City Music Fest: JOAN JETT & THE BLACKHEARTS, WILL HOGE Nov. 8, St. Augustine HEART Nov. 8, St. Augustine Amphitheatre RANDY NEWMAN Nov. 9, Flagler College PHILLIP PHILLIPS Nov. 9, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MARY CHAPIN CARPENTER, TIFT MERRITT Nov. 9, The Florida Theatre TAB BENOIT Nov. 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall REVEREND HORTON HEAT, GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE Nov. 12, Jack Rabbits Bear Creek Music & Arts Festival: DUMPSTAPHUNK, UMPHREY’S McGEE, ST. PAUL & THE BROKEN BONES, OTEIL BURBRIDGE, ZACH DEPUTY, MINGO FISHTRAP, THE FRITZ, CATFISH ALLIANCE Nov. 13-16, Suwannee Music Park ROD PICOTT Nov. 13, Mudville Music Room TRIBAL SEEDS, BALLYHOO, GONZO WITH BEYOND I SIGHT Nov. 13, Freebird Live O.A.R. Nov. 14, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MATTHEW & GUNNAR NELSON Nov. 14, P.V. Concert Hall DIRTY HEADS, ROME Nov. 14, Mavericks THE CURT TOWNE BAND, FIREROAD Nov. 14, Freebird Live JUSTIN TOWNES EARLE Nov. 15, Colonial Quarters, St. Augustine JAMES TAYLOR & HIS ALL-STAR BAND: LOU MARINI, WALT FOWLER, LARRY GOLDINGS, LUIS CONTE, STEVE GADD, ANDREA ZONN, KATE MARKOWITZ, ARNOLD McCULLER, DAVID LASLEY, JIMMY JOHNSON, MICHAEL LANDAU Nov. 19, Veterans Memorial Arena FLATBUSH ZOMBIES, THE UNDERACHIEVERS Nov. 22, Underbelly RELIENT K, BLONDFIRE, FROM INDIAN LAKES Nov. 24, Freebird Live

AARON CARTER Nov. 25, Jack Rabbits QUINTRON & MISS PUSSYCAT, WHITE MYSTERY, BURNT HAIR, THE MOLD Dec. 9, Underbelly DIANA KRALL Dec. 9, Jacoby Symphony Hall PIERCE PETTIS Dec. 11, Mudville Music Room WYNONNA & THE BIG NOISE Dec. 14, The Florida Theatre JOE BONAMASSA Dec. 17, The Florida Theatre BOWSER & THE STINGRAYS, HERMAN’S HERMITS & PETER NOONE, GARY PUCKETT & THE UNION GAP Dec. 18, The Florida Theatre BAD SANTA, GRANT PEEPLES Dec. 18, Mudville Music Room DON WILLIAMS Jan. 7, Florida Theatre ’70s Soul Jam: THE SPINNERS, THE STYLISTICS, THE MAIN INGREDIENT Jan. 8, Florida Theatre MIRANDA SINGS Jan. 14, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE BOTH (AIMEE MANN, TED LEO) Jan. 16, P.V. Concert Hall ARLO GUTHRIE Jan. 20, The Florida Theatre KATHLEEN MADIGAN Jan. 22, The Florida Theatre IRIS DEMENT Jan. 23, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall URSAMINOR, SURVIVING SEPTEMBER, THE HEALING PROCESS, NOCTURNAL STATE OF MIND Jan. 31, Freebird Live TIME JUMPERS & VINCE GILL Feb. 7, The Florida Theatre JOHN HAMMOND Feb. 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MARCUS ROBERTS TRIO Feb. 20, The Florida Theatre DENNIS DeYOUNG Feb. 21, Florida Theatre STRINGFEVER March 5, Café Eleven THREE DOG NIGHT March 10, Florida Theatre JACKIE EVANCHE March 22, Florida Theatre THE ORCHESTRA (Former ELO & ELO II members) April 11, Florida Theatre

CLUBS AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

DAVID’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, 802 Ash St., 310-6049 John Springer every Tue.-Wed. Aaron Bing 6 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. GREEN TURTLE, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Buck Smith every Thur. Yancy Clegg every Sun. Vinyl Record Nite is held every Tue. HAMMERHEADS, 2045 S. Fletcher Ave., 491-7783 DJ Refresh 9 p.m. every Sun. THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 491-8999 Brent Byrd Sept. 11

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

CASBAH CAFE, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores 9 p.m. every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. Tue. & Thur.

Indie dance 9 p.m. Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance 9 p.m. Fri. Music every Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200 Mark O’Quinn Sept. 11. Parker Urban Band Sept. 12. Carl & the Black Lungs Sept. 13

BEACHES (All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted) BILLY’S BOATHOUSE, 2321 Beach Blvd., 241-9771 Bad Habit on Sept. 12 BLUE WATER ISLAND GRILL, 205 N. First St., 249-0083 Ancient Sun 10 p.m. Sept. 16 BRASS ANCHOR PUB, 2292 Mayport Rd., Ste. 35, Atlantic Beach, 249-0301 Joe Oliff 9 p.m. Sept. 17 CASA MARINA HOTEL, 691 First St. N., 270-0025 Charlie Walker 2 p.m. Sept. 14 CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 Byrne & Kelly 8 p.m. Sept. 11. Irish music at 6:30 p.m. every Sun. FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680 Radio Love 10 p.m. Sept. 12. The Trio Sept. 13. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Red Beard & Stinky E at 10 p.m. every Thur.

FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 Fortunate Youth, The Steppas, Ashes of Babylon, Ease Up, Jahmen Sept.

12. Papadosio, Asian Teacher Factory Sept. 13. The Pretty Reckless, Adelita’s Way, Crash Midnight Sept. 18. Telesma, Acid Majik Sept. 19 HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815 Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. Dan Evans, Spade McQuade at 6 p.m. every Sun. Back From the Brink at 9 p.m. every Mon. LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., NB, 249-2922 River City Blues Band Sept. 12. Just Jazz Sept. 13. Live music every Fri. & Sat. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Be Easy 10:30 p.m. Sept. 15. Dirty Pete every Wed. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Who Rescued Who every Sun. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., 246-1500 Jazz on Sept. 10. Legacy Orchestra Sept. 11. Ouija Brothers Sept. 12.

Ryan Crary Sept. 13. Wellfed Boy Sept. 17 MEZZA RESTAURANT & BAR, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573 Neil Dixon 6 p.m. every Tue. Gypsies Ginger 6 p.m. every Wed. Mike Shackelford & Steve Shanholtzer 6 p.m. every Thur.

NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE, 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300 Pierce in Harmony Sept. 10. King Eddie & Pili Pili 6 p.m. Sept.

11. Aaron Koerner Band 6 p.m. Sept. 12. Monkey Wrench Sept. 13. Chilly Rhino Sept. 14. Leslie Baptiste Sept. 15. Kevin Ski Sept. 16. Cloud 9 Sept. 17 NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 372-4105 Sidetrack Sept. 11. Crazy Daysies Sept. 12. Billy Bowers Sept. 13

18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 10-16, 2014

A&E // MUSIC PIER CANTINA & SANDBAR, 412 FIRST ST. N., 246-6454 Be Easy 10 p.m. Sept. 11, 10:30 p.m. Sept. 13.

RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877 Neil Dixon Sept. 10. Pierce & Harmony Sept. 11. Cloud 9 Sept. 12.

A1A North Sept. 13. Small Fish Sept. 17. Live music every Thur.-Sun. WIPEOUTS GRILL, 1589 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 247-4508 Mike Lyons 7:30 p.m. Sept. 11. Amy Vickery 9:30 p.m. Sept. 12 ZETA, 131 First Ave. N., 372-0727 Be Easy 5 p.m. Sept. 14

DOWNTOWN

1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. Fonix Movement, B. Devine, Lagniappe Brass Band, La Quilombera, Jackie Stranger, Jah Elect, Jai Mal, Reese Royal, Never Ending Struggle, Prof. N. Knots, The Gootch, Tough Junkie Sept.

12. Snake Blood Remedy, Clay Benjamin, Opiate Eyes, JacksonVegas, Stay in the Chase, Mama Blue, A Selfless Lot, Kudos the Kid, Substance, Ruffians, Sunspots Sept. 13.

The Goons of Canterbury, Christina Wagner, Colin McSheehy, Winter Wave, The Lyon Hearts, Moyamoya, Chief or Die, Eviction, Ego Killer, Artilect Sept. 14. Rootz Underground, The Hip Abduction Sept. 18. Open mic jam every Mon. BURRITO GALLERY & BAR, 21 E. Adams St., 598-2922 Stank Sauce, Lagniappe Brass Band Sept. 12 BURRO BAR, 100 E. Adams St., 353-4686 The Traditional Sept. 10. ESE Sept. 11. The Inverted, Nocturnal State of Mind, Dark Horse Saloon, Tomboi, Fjord Explorer, On Guard, Askmeificare Sept. 12. Herd of Watts, Jacob Creel, Bread & Circus, Mike King, Joe Mottie, Patrick Evan & the Co-Alition, Dirty Automatic, Big Buck$ Crew Sept. 13. Andrew Felts & the Feelings, The Crowkeepers, Oscar Mike, Knock for Six, Weekend Atlas, The Stocktons, Ivey West Band, Chieforia Sept. 14 FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247 Spade McQuade from 6-9 p.m. on Sept. 10 & 17. Live music 5-8 p.m., Spade McQuade 8:30 p.m. Sept. 12. Chuck Nash 2-5:30 p.m. Sept. 13. Live music at 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Friday Night Live 8 p.m.-1 a.m.: local bands, singers and musicians compete on Courtyard Stage, on Sept. 12, 19 and 26. IveyWest Band 6-10 p.m. Sept. 11. Bay Street Band 8 p.m.-1 a.m. Sept. 13. Austin Park 8 p.m.-1 a.m. Sept. 20 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Roy Luis every Wed. DJ Vinn every Thur. DJ 007 every Fri. Bay Street every Sat. MAVERICKS, Jax Landing, 2 Independent Dr., 356-1110 Raven Cliff 6 p.m. Sept. 12. Granger Smith, Earl Dibbles Jr. 6 p.m. Sept. 17. Chris Stapleton 6 p.m. Sept. 19. Joe Buck, Big Tasty every Thur.-Sat. UNDERBELLY, 113 E. Bay St., 699-8186 Roadkill Ghost Choir, In Tongues Sept. 10. Lolipop Caravan Sept. 11. Alexis Rhode, Garrett on Acoustic, Jason Lamar, Sway Jah Vu Sept.

12. Govinda, Bit Def, Vlad the Inhaler, Dr. Sirbrother Sept. 13.

Emily & the Gypsy Fire, Mondo Mike & the Po Boys, Dig Dog, Groove Coalition, Substance, Moses West Sept. 14. Golden Pelicans, The Mold, Mount the Stallion Sept. 18

FLEMING ISLAND

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999 Ivey West Band 9 p.m. on Sept. 12 WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Love Monkey 9:30 p.m. Sept. 12 & 13. Open mic 9 p.m. every Thur.

Deck music at 5 p.m. every Fri. & Sat., 4:30 p.m. on Sun.

INTRACOASTAL WEST

CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, 645-5162 The Remains 9 p.m. Sept. 12 & 13. DJ Big Rob every Thur., Sun. & Tue. YOUR PLACE, 13245 Atlantic, 221-9994 Clayton Bush Sept. 10

MANDARIN, JULINGTON

HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-3040 Retro Kats Sept. 14. Open mic: Synergy 8 p.m. every Wed. World’s Most Talented Waitstaff 9 p.m. every Fri.

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells, 272-5959 John Michael every Wed.-Sat. PREVATT’S SPORTS BAR, 2620 Blanding Blvd., 282-1564 DJ Tammy at 9 p.m. every Wed. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Glass Camels 10:05 p.m. Sept. 12. Fratello 10 p.m. Sept. 14 & 15.

DJ Corey B every Wed. Live music every Fri. & Sat.

PONTE VEDRA, PALM VALLEY

PUSSER’S GRILLE, 816 A1A N., 280-7766 Lance Neely Sept.

10. Nick Marino Sept. 11. John Austill Sept. 12. Billy Buchanan Sept. 13. Soulo Sept. 17. Live music every Wed.-Sun. TABLE 1, 330 A1A N., Ste. 208, 280-5515 Deron Baker Sept.

10. Gary Starling Jazz Band 7:30 p.m. on Sept. 11. Sovereign Vine at 7:30 p.m. on Sept. 13. Paxton & Mike Sept. 17

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 Pam Affronti, Sweet Scarlett, Jordyn Stoddard starts 10:30 a.m. on Sept. 13

ST. AUGUSTINE

ANN O’MALLEY’S, 23 Orange St., 825-4040 Brent Byrd 8:30 p.m. on Sept. 12. Lonesome Bert on Sept. 13. Ricardo Sept.

15. Open mic with Smokey Joe every Tue. THE CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 Chillula 7 p.m. Sept. 12. Billy Buchanan 2 p.m., Oh No 7 p.m. Sept. 13.

Vinny Jacobs 2 p.m. Sept. 14 HARRY’S, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765 Billy Bowers 6 p.m. Sept. 10 MILL TOP TAVERN & LISTENING ROOM, 19-1/2 St. George St., 829-2329 Wild Shiners 9 p.m. Sept. 12 & 13. Colton McKenna 1 p.m. Sept. 14 TEMPO, 16 Cathedral Place, 342-0286 Live music every Fri. & Sat. TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Those Guys 9 p.m. Sept. 12 & 13. Matanzas every Sun.-Thur. Elizabeth Roth at 1 p.m. every Sat.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

HIGHWAY 17 ROADHOUSE, 850532 U.S. 17, Yulee, 225-9211 Live music 9 p.m. Sept. 12 & 13 SANDOLLAR, 9716 Heckscher Dr., 251-2449 Karen Perry & Zack Wing 6 p.m. Sept. 12 THREE LAYERS COFFEEHOUSE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 Open mic Sept. 11. BethAnne Sept. 12

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

INDOCHINE San Marco & Buddha Lounge, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 503-7013 Dance Radio Underground, Sugar & Cream, Black Hoodie, Bass Therapy Sessions 10 p.m.-mid. Allan GIzRoc Oteyza, Scott Perry aka TrapNasty and Cry Havoc rotate, mid.-3 a.m. for Fever Saturdays JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Angels For Hire, Jonnie Morgan Band Sept. 12. J. Boog, Hot Rain Sept. 13. Askmeificare, Planetrawk, Samurai Shotgun Sept.

14. B-Side Players Sept. 16. Joey Cape (Lagwagon), Chris Cresswell (Flatliners), Brian Wahlstrom Sept. 17 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 JB Scott Kelly Jazz Band 7 p.m. Sept. 11

SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS

AQUA NIGHTCLUB & LOUNGE, 11000 Beach Blvd., Ste. 21, 334-2122 ABK on Sept. 14 COMEDY CLUB, 11000 Beach Blvd., Ste. 8, 646-4277 Fascinating Rhythm Orchestra 7 p.m. 1st & 3rd Wed. COPPER TAP HOUSE, 13500 Beach Blvd., 647-6595 Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. LATITUDE 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 7th Street Band 7:30 p.m. Sept. 11, 9 p.m. Sept. 14. VJ Fellin 7:30 p.m.,

UNDERBELLY WEDNESDAY | SEPTEMBER 10

TORCHE POST TEENS, VICES, DELTA SUN tickets available at ticketfly.com SEPTEMBER 19

Roadkill Ghost Choir w/ Guests In Tongues LP Release Party

THURSDAY | SEPTEMBER 11 Lilipop Caravan

FRI, SAT & SUN | SEPTEMBER 12 - 14 Connection Festival

THURSDAY | SEPTEMBER 18 Golden Pelicans

WED 9/10

the traditional, zenith

THU 9/11

Ese, gross evolution, community cervix

FRI 9/12

connection festival

SAT 9/13

connection festival

WEDNESDAY | OCTOBER 1

SUN 9/14

connection festival

SAT 9/20

sea of surrender, what heart, sunspots

Citizen / You Blew It Hostage Calm / True Love

WED 9/24

couches, fifield, the stocktons

THU 9/25

code orange kids, twitching tongues, axis, blistered, rhythm of fear

SUN 9/28

the head, six time losers, river city kats

MON 9/29

the yev, rock hell victory

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., 388-7807 Rend Collective at 7 p.m. on Sept. 11. Josh Edwards & Co. at 8 p.m. on Sept. 13 rain dogs., 1045 Park St., 379-4969 Minor Influence, Poor Richards, The Happy Faced Mistakes at 8 p.m. on Sept. 12

Free Mix 8:30 p.m. Sept. 12 & 13 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 997-1955 Charlie Walker Sept. 11. Wes Cobb Sept. 12.

Cameron Jameyal Sept. 13 MY PLACE BAR & GRILL, 9550 Baymeadows, 737-5299 Aaron Sheeks on Sept. 10. Dirty Pete Sept. 11. Don’t Call Me Shirley Sept. 12. Fat Cactus Sept. 13. Chuck Nash every Tue. WILD WING CAFE, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Chris Brinkley Sept. 10. The Gootch Sept. 12 WORLD OF BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 551-5929 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

WEDNESDAY | SEPTEMBER 24 Senses Fail / No Bragging Rights Knuckle Puck

SATURDAY | OCTOBER 4 Jax Original Music Fest

SUNDAY | OCTOBER 19 Blockhead / Elaquent / Munshine

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SEPTEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19

A&E // MOVIES

A CHEAP IMITATION

If you’re going to channel Elvis, you’d better be charismatic

I

superficial criticism, but can these characters at magine Elvis Presley has a twin brother who least gray their hair a little?). lived (Elvis’ actual twin, Jessie Garon Presley, As the terrible title suggests, Ryan has the died at birth). They look, talk, sing and dance bulk of the screen time, but his journey is never the same, but the brother, dead ringer (no pun compelling. The problem is with star Blake intended) as he is, isn’t told he’s Elvis’ twin.

Rayne, who doesn’t command the screen or act He goes through life being told he looks just with conviction. He’s wide-eyed and wooden, like The King, yet never achieves the fame and making his screen debut in fortune of his genetic other a dual role that’s over his half.

Welcome to The Identical, head. Perhaps unavoidably, THE IDENTICAL a work of fiction that it always feels like we’re *G@@ doesn’t use real names or watching a cheap Elvis Rated PG real songs but does have an impersonator rather than uncharismatic lead in the a real character with his title role, which is one of own hopes and dreams and the worst traits you can have when channeling aspirations for success. The rest of the cast is Elvis. The premise isn’t awful, it just falters solid, though, including Liotta as the oppressive under ho-hum direction. father and Joe Pantoliano and Seth Green as In 1935 Alabama, destitute William (Brian Ryan’s friends.

Geraghty) and Helen Hemsley (Amanda Crew) To be fair, Rayne could’ve been helped with can’t afford to take care of their newborn some livelier direction. First-time director twin sons. Citing a local preacher and his Dustin Marcellino, working from a script by wife’s strong desire to have a child but cannot, Howard Klausner (Space Cowboys), captures the production design and costumes of the William and Helen give one of the boys to ’30s through the ’70s well enough, but the Reece (Ray Liotta) and Louise Wade (Ashley Judd), who promptly move out of town, give the music sounds like second-rate Delta blues and B-side rock-’n’-roll and the story lacks boy a new name and promise not to reveal the surprise and intrigue. You may not be able to secret until after the Hemsleys are dead. pinpoint exactly how it’ll all happen, but you One boy grows up to be world-famous do know early on what will happen, and when rock star Elvis — er, Drexel “The Dream” that expectation isn’t subverted into something Hemsley (Blake Rayne). The other, Ryan Wade better, the movie becomes tiresome.

(Rayne again), lives a confined upbringing The Identical has a straight-to-On Demand until he gains notoriety as a spot-on Drexel vibe about it, inadequate across the board and impersonator. This doesn’t sit well with Ryan’s offering us no reason to see it on the big screen. preacher father, who wants him to join the It’s not unbearable, though, especially for Elvis ministry, but it’s OK with his mother because fans, the devoutly religious and anyone who women are always more tolerant in these might be a twin, but watching it is like listening stories. (Aside: Ryan’s father clearly ages more to a bad cover band instead of the real thing. than 30 years, but his mother doesn’t age a day.

The same thing happened in Noah with Russell Dan Hudak Crowe and Jennifer Connelly. I know it’s a mail@folioweekly.com

20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 10-16, 2014

A&E // MOVIES

MAGIC LANTERNS

THE GAME IS AFOOT

I’m not an avid TV watcher, but I was pleased (though not surprised) when this year’s Emmy for Best Actor and Supporting Actor in a Miniseries or Movie went to Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman, respectively, as Holmes and Watson in BBC’s Sherlock. A lifelong fan of the World’s Greatest Consulting Detective in both print and film, I was initially wary of the new PBS version, which updates and modernizes Arthur Conan Doyle’s inimitable characters. But all it took was watching the first episode in the first season, and I was hooked.

(Season 3 completed its PBS run earlier this year; all episodes are now available on Netflix.)

Coincidentally, this past week also marked the first time I was able to see a 1970 film, just released to home video, that’s one of the more interesting Holmes movies: The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes. By some counts, more films have been made about the Great Detective than any other fictional character, the earliest dating back to 1900. Scheduled for release in 2015 is Mr. Holmes, starring Ian McKellan as the aged detective (at 93!) coaxed out of retirement for one last case. Since the film is being directed by Bill Condon, who also coached McKellan when he played Frankenstein director James Whale in Condon’s 1999 Oscar-nominated Gods and Monsters, the outlook for Holmes’ continued longevity is terrific.

But back to 1970 and Private Life and what might have been. Directed by Billy Wilder and co-written with his longtime collaborator I.A.L. Diamond, the movie was to have been Wilder’s most ambitious and lengthiest (165 minutes) project. By that time, Wilder had already been nominated for 21 Academy Awards for writing and directing and had won five, sharing three nominations and one win (The Apartment) with Diamond. So both were at the top of their game in 1969, working with the biggest budget they’d ever had.

Then financial woes hit United Artists like a tsunami, and Wilder’s almost-three-and-ahalf-hour rough cut (featuring several different episodes craftily linked) was pruned to the final 125 minutes with only two adventures, resulting in a fun film that’s still a bit disappointing, considering how epic it could’ve been.

In the first episode, Holmes (British stage actor Robert Stephens) and Dr. Watson (Colin Blakely) are called to the Russian ballet, where, it turns out, Holmes is being appraised as a mate for an aging ballerina. Certainly more comic than the usual Sherlock approach (Robert Downey’s version was still 40 years away), the opening story reflects the usual Wilder wit as well as touching on Holmes’ cocaine habit and his complicated attitudes toward women. (The topic of his coke abuse would move center stage in 1976’s entertaining The Seven Per Cent Solution, in which Holmes teams up with none other than Sigmund Freud (Alan Arkin), with Robert Duvall as Watson!)

The longer second adventure introduces Christopher Lee as Holmes’ older brother Mycroft, as Holmes spars with a femme fatale, who turns out to be a German spy trying to get the government’s plans for a “submersible” machine. The game is afoot as Holmes and Watson journey to the scenic Scottish highlands, encountering Queen Victoria as well as the fabled Loch Ness monster.

Resurrected at last on DVD, The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes is a real treat, as witty and intelligent a take on a literary and cinematic legend as one might expect from Billy Wilder, a legend himself.

Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com

**** ***@ **@@ *@@@

FILM RATINGS

THE SWIMMER SPACEBALLS SHREK 2 LADY BOSS

SCREENING AROUND TOWN

SUN-RAY CINEMA Land Ho!, Sin City: A Dame to Kill For, Frank, Life After Beth, The One I Love and Magic in the Moonlight are screened at Sun-Ray Cinema, 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. The Trip to Italy and God Help the Girl start Sept. 12. Sundance Shorts run Sept. 12-18.

A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE The acclaimed U.K. production of Tennessee Williams’ benchmark American play, with Gillian Anderson, Ben Foster and Vanessa Kirby, is screened 7 p.m. at Sept. 16 at Cinemark Tinseltown, 4535 Southside Blvd., and Regal Avenues, 9525 Philips Hwy., Southside, fathomevents.com.

LATITUDE 360 MOVIES X-Men: Days of Future Past, Planes: Fire & Rescue and How to Train Your Dragon 2 screen at Latitude 360’s CineGrille Theater, 10370 Philips Hwy., Southside, 365-5555.

WGHF IMAX THEATER Forrest Gump, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Hubble 3D, Under the Sea 3D, Journey to the South Pacific: An IMAX 3D Experience, and We The People are currently screening at World Golf Village Hall of Fame IMAX Theater, 1 World Golf Place, St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com.

NOW SHOWING

50 TO 1 Rated PG-13 Did anyone ever read the book National Velvet? About a piebald horse that was entered into the veddy big deal Grand National Steeplechase, ridden by a girl disguised as a boy?

This is kinda like that, except the horse isn’t a piebald (look it up) and the racing hopefuls aren’t British or female. They’re cowboys from the Southwest U.S., and they think their slightly disfigured steed can win the Kentucky Derby. Costars Skeet Ulrich and William Devane. — Marlene Dryden AS ABOVE, SO BELOW Rated R Proving that the phrase “M. Night Shyamalan protégé” can be more than an onscreen title in a Key & Peele sketch, director John Erick Dowdle (2010’s Devil) trains his camera on the catacombs beneath Paris, where buried remains of millions of people give rise to unspeakable evil. Not to be confused with 2007’s Catacombs, which trained its camera on the catacombs beneath Paris to show that buried remains of millions of people had given rise to unspeakable evil. That one was made by some nobody, not the chosen inheritor to the mantle of Lady in the Water. Seriously, it’s like Hollywood had a Sorting Hat for hacks or something. — Steve Schneider BEGIN AGAIN Rated R Mark Ruffalo needs a nice bowl of chicken soup and a bubble bath – he’s always singing the blues about some personal upheaval or another. Here he’s Dan, a washed-up music producer who sees a young woman (Keira Knightley) croon into a mic and thinks he’s discovered the next Joan Baez … oh, c’mon, you know … that folkie/Beat chick Dylan used to shtupp. OK, then … the next Zooey Deschanel. — M.D. BOYHOOD ***@ Rated R Director Richard Linklater, in a single film, has upstaged filmmakers who have tried to capture the passage of time and the aging of actors. Linklater simply watched and waited – and filmed – over a span of 12 years. Boyhood, a film focused on the life of a seemingly average boy, was cast when the boy (played by Ellar Coltrane) was just 6 years old. Linklater also cast his own young daughter, Lorelei, as the boy’s older sister, and Patricia Arquette as the boy’s mother. The boy’s father is played by Ethan Hawke, who collaborated with Linklater on the Before series, another project involving the passing of real time. The trilogy (Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, Before Midnight) started filming in the early ’90s and focused on the development of a couple’s relationship over two decades. Like Boyhood, its stars actually age in real time; the films are set nine years apart. Now Linklater has compressed real time into a single film. He captures the maturation of his screenplay’s characters, and the real aging of real people, creating a fascinating film and, at the same time, conducting a unique and noble experiment – even crossing the line from fiction into unintended documentary. This film’s concept may be great, but the finished product falls short of greatness. — Cameron Meier CALVARY Rated R Reteaming with Brendan Gleeson, the star of his 2011 comedy The Guard, writer-director John Michael McDonagh portrays the drama that unfolds after a priest is threatened during confession. With a screening two days before opening, we can’t tell you exactly what kind of drama, but it’s probably similar to

Sundance Film Festival Shorts: Gregory Go Boom starring Michael Cera (pictured) is one of eight short films being shown in the indie fest’s nationwide tour, making its stop here Sept.

12-18 at Sun-Ray Cinema in 5 Points. what Sean Hannity dreams of doing to the Pope. Costars Chris O’Dowd and Kelly Reilly. — S.S. DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES Rated PG-13 For a while there, it looked as if Jonah Hill was going to be this summer’s winner of Saying Stupid Shit In Public. But then Gary Oldman unloaded to Playboy about the unendurable oppression of being unable to call a fag a fag and a Jew a Jew, and we had a new front-runner in the Emergency Hairshirt Olympics – and an answer to the question “What could possibly keep a Rob Ford apology off the front page?” Here, Oldman is in a band of human relics trying to stay alive in a world ruled by filthy primates. — S.S. DOLPHIN TALE 2 Rated PG • Opens Sept. 12 There’s a great scene in American Graffiti in which Charles Martin Smith’s Toad and Candy Clark’s Debbie think they’re going to witness a backwoods atrocity. Smith’s horrified reaction – “I don’t WANNA see it” – later became my personal mantra when confronted with the trailer to one sure-to-be movie misfire after another. (“Blood Diamond? I don’t WANNA see it!”) Enough about me; what’s Charlie Martin Smith up to these days? Well, he’s now the sort of “working director” who not only has to make family pictures about kindly humans who help endangered sea creatures, he then has to shoot their cash-grab sequels as well. Guess which American Graffiti quotation best captures my feelings about the prospect of being exposed to Dolphin Tale 2. You got it – It’s “Look, creep, you want a knuckle sandwich?” — S.S. THE DROP Rated R • Opens Sept. 12 Still trying to figure out if we’ve seen Philip Seymour Hoffman’s last movie, or if he’s going to be like Hendrix and keep appearing posthumously with a frequency my working-artist friends would envy. One thing’s for sure, though: We’ve seen the absolute last of James Gandolfini, whose The Drop – an adaptation of Dennis Lehane’s short story Animal Rescue – represents his final acting role. Then again, there’s Criminal Justice, an upcoming HBO miniseries for which Gandolfini shot a pilot. If we ever want to see that buried document, we should probably make nice with the kind folks at 4chan – I hear they’re great at liberating that kind of stuff. — S.S. EARTH TO ECHO Rated PG If you’re ever worried something you say or do might piss off Steven Spielberg – I know that’s likelier in my life than yours – remember his lawyers apparently couldn’t do anything to stop this family sci-fi adventure in which a bunch of concerned kids try to help a stranded alien find his way home. The poster shows a human kid’s finger reaching toward the alien in a gesture of healing friendship, the scene bathed in a serene blue light. Jesus, all that Jurassic money, and his people can’t even get off a good cease-and-desist? IMDb trogs think it’s ripped off from Spielberg’s Super 8. Maybe there’s a legal loophole when you bite two of a guy’s properties at once? — S.S. THE EXPENDABLES 3 Rated PG-13 You know exactly what sort of demographic a movie is going for when it augments its regular cast of geriatric mercs with a “new generation of badasses” that includes Harrison Ford,

Mel Gibson, Kelsey Grammer, Wesley Snipes and Antonio Banderas. Some of those guys didn’t even have an AARP card when Clinton was president! Not that they’d want to remember those years, since the Expendables franchise continues to exist mostly to provide steady work for right-wing pariahs – if you believe Gary Oldman. (Do not believe Gary Oldman – Ed.) Come to think of it, Oldman would make a great addition to the cast next time, with Gary Sinise, John Malkovich and every other poor, persecuted Rethug we hear in interviews complaining we never hear from them. Expendables 4: War on Christmas, just in time for Ramadan. — S.S. FORREST GUMP: AN IMAX EXPERIENCE Rated PG-13 In the book, Forrest has an enormous wang, so talk about a missed opportunity. Then again, most of what gets advertised as “IMAX” these days is really just an 18-inch Samsung running Windows Magnifier, which means we wouldn’t be missing out on much large-format idiot-savant weenus anyway. The hook here is a digitally remastered print for the flick’s 20th anniversary, playing for just one week in an effort to find out how many people are willing to throw down cold, hard cash for a cleaned-up print of a movie they’ve seen six times already and which 54 percent of them hate. Personally, I think Paramount should’ve gone whole hog and sprung for 3-D. “Dude, it was like the box of chocolates was in my lap!” — S.S. GET ON UP Rated PG-13 If Hollywood believes two things, it’s that black folks don’t go to comic-book movies and white folks don’t go to movies about black folks. All of which explains why this James Brown biopic is the sacrificial lamb that’s been scheduled against Disney/ Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy. In real life, it’s going to be my white music-snob friends filling in my black nerd buddies as to how well Chadwick Boseman did as the King of Soul, and if they should give this flick a look when it’s on Starz four months from now. Heck, we might even invite them over to watch it – especially if Charlie Crist wins and we feel really liberal! — S.S. THE GIVER Rated PG-13 Here’s one to dither over on Throwback Thursday: Plans to turn the dystopian YA hit The Giver into a movie were first hatched way back in 1994. Not only did half the Expendables still have a sperm count back then, but Richard Linklater had just begun to grow Ellar Coltrane in a petri dish! Now the wait is over, and we can see what kind of work Walden Media has done in adapting Lois Lowry’s oh-so-subtle tale of a conformist society living under the edict of “The Sameness.” Personally, I thought the kids in The Wackness seemed to be having a better time, but I question how committed to “youth concerns” this movie is anyway, since lead character Jonas was 12 in the book but is played onscreen by 25-year-old Brenton Thwaites. Then again, everybody in the source novel of Logan’s Run died at 21 instead of 30, and Michael York gotta eat. — S.S. GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY Rated PG-13 As I write this, the San Diego Comic-Con is just getting under way, and I’m bracing myself for all sorts of P.R. fog about the future of comics on film, and how DC Entertainment is going to start giving Marvel Studios a run for its money any minute now.

So as a reality check, let me just point this out: “Winning” is

SEPTEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 21

A&E // MOVIES

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when you can wring the most anticipated movie of the summer out of a property so obscure even the editors of The Comic Book Price Guide have to look it up. By Christmas, Rocket Raccoon may be firmly entrenched as a star of the Disneyacquisition firmament, making “possible Star Wars crossover” the hot ridiculous rumor du jour. DC’s entire release slate for the next five years will have shifted three more times, just because Olaf the Snowman blew on it really hard. God, how I love a photo finish. — S.S. THE HUNDRED-FOOT JOURNEY Rated PG Boy, there’s nobody better equipped to capitalize on the foodie phenomenon than Lasse Hallstrom, who has for decades been championing the feasibility of solving all of life’s conflicts by shoving stuff in your mouth. (From Chocolat to What’s Eating Gilbert Grape to The Cider House Rules to Salmon Fishing in the Yemen, the guy can’t even make a picture without mentioning food in the title. Talk about obsessed!) In Hallstrom’s latest, restaurateur Helen Mirren’s hostility toward a new rival (the great actor Om Puri) is overcome by the power of his entrées, which are just too damn good for anybody to remember what they were supposed to be fighting about. Fun related fact: In real life, obesity causes 300,000 deaths per year. — S.S. THE IDENTICAL *G@@ Rated PG Reviewed in this issue.

IF I STAY **@@ Rated PG-13 Oh, goodie; mortality porn. Chloe Grace Moretz is plunged into a coma and has one day’s worth of out-of-body flitting around family and friends to decide if she wants to rejoin the land of the living. (Hey, do you think she knows how Mad Men turns out?) The only reason I’d go near this apparent hunk of Kleenex bait is that it was directed by R.J. Cutler, who worked on the excellent reality series American High with the late Jonathan Mednick. Miss ya, Jonathan! Tell Chloe nobody down here blames her for Dark Shadows. — S.S. INTO THE STORM Rated PG-13 If it’s 2014, it’s time for an ersatz Twister reboot, with crazy storm chasers boldly venturing straight into the thick of one of nature’s little shit Slurpees. If this thing becomes a hit, maybe Universal Studios can just slap a new logo on their Twister attraction instead of gutting it to make room for that Dance Moms Experience I’ve been betting on for two years running now. Fun fact deux: The director of Into the Storm, Steven Quale, co-helmed Aliens of the Deep, another of James Can’tQuite-Get-Past-Titanic Cameron’s deep-sea docs. — S.S. LAND HO! **@@ Rated R Boisterous surgeon Mitch (Earl Lynn Nelson) strong-arms his ex-brother-in-law Colin (Paul Eenhoorn) into going with him on a trip to Iceland, claiming that it’ll boost Colin’s spirits in light of his recent split from his second wife. Colin and Mitch meet up with Mitch’s 20-something first-cousin-once-removed, Ellen (Karrie Crouse), and her friend Janet (Elizabeth McKee). Mitch insists on lending them his credit card to buy clothes after their bags get lost, then gets upset when the clothes the women buy aren’t sufficiently form-fitting. Colin is at least a sympathetic character. — Anna Walsh LET’S BE COPS Rated R The action-comedy co-stars Jake Johnson and Damon Wayans Jr., who inherited his dad’s good looks and, we hope, comedic talents. They’re pals Ryan and Justin, going to a costume party dressed up as cops, with all the shiny gear cops like to have hanging off their highly polished Sam Browne belts. The outfits must be authentic-looking, because the two slackers are taken for real flatfoots and the hilarity ensues. — M.D. LIFE AFTER BETH **@@ Rated R In his directorial debut, Jeff Baena takes three interesting young actors: wan, outsider-ly Dane DeHaan, mumblecore starlet Aubrey Plaza and innocent-faced Anna Kendrick and runs them through the zombie wringer in this baroque-period indie-zombie whatnot. What could go wrong? — Kelly Vance MAGIC IN THE MOONLIGHT **G@ Rated PG-13 Woody Allen has problems with pace and personality. Not his personality (though if you read Mia Farrow’s rants, you might disagree), but his characters’ personalities. He’s too often relied on a good story while suffering from a tired tempo, mediocre directing and miscast leads. His newest go-to girl is Emma Stone, who plays Sophie, a young psychic in the 1920s who may be nothing more than a con artist who is attempting to swindle wealthy families on the French Riviera by staging fake séances. Skeptical of Sophie’s intentions, one family seeks the help of Howard Burkan (Simon McBurney), a magician and debunker of fake mediums. — C.M. A MOST WANTED MAN ***G Rated R A starring role in this espionage thriller is a fitting farewell for Philip Seymour Hoffman. Directed by Anton Corbijn, it’s a

22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 10-16, 2014

smart, gripping thriller that navigates through subtle twists and delicious ambiguity. Hoffman plays Günther Bachmann, a German espionage agent at odds with his superiors and American counterpart Martha Sullivan (Robin Wright) over how to track down a high-profile Muslim terrorist. — C.M. NO GOOD DEED Rated R • Opens Sept. 12 On Aug. 7, Theodore P. Wafer was convicted of murdering Renisha McBride, a black teenager who had knocked on his doors and windows in the dead of night. At press time, police officer Randall Kerrick was under indictment for killing Jonathan Ferrell, a black 24-year-old who’d approached a woman’s house seeking help after a car accident. And how has Hollywood chosen to respond to this recent rash of bad Samaritanism? By rewarding and reassuring us with a thriller in which the black person is up to no good after all. In No Good Deed, yet another person of color arrives on the doorstep of yet another unsuspecting homeowner, claiming car trouble.

But this time, see, the stranger is actually an escaped convict looking to pull off a home invasion. Whew! The endangered property holder in this scenario is an African-American woman herself, so nobody can accuse the filmmakers of stoking racist fears or something. Of course, there is that title, which some might take as a winking acknowledgment that you just can’t be nice to a certain type of people. Coming soon: Tyler Perry’s Why Do I Always Grab For the Gun? — S.S. THE NOVEMBER MAN Rated R Still looking for a vehicle to top Mamma Mia!, Pierce Brosnan plays a retired CIA star who takes on one last mission: Protect a female witness (Olga Kurylenko) who’s in serious danger.

Hmmm … reminds me of something. Hold on, I’ll get it. On the tip of my tongue … oh, yeah: everything. This movie is a remake of everything. And if that’s the case, then the odds are pretty darn great that Pierce is gonna sing again, right? Sure hope so. He’s the only guy on Earth who sounds like an isolated vocal track even when he has accompaniment. — S.S. THE REMAINING Rated PG-13 Forget religious rockabilly. Here’s a new whackjob genre to really savor: “faith-based horror.” That’s right – say it out loud.

Say it twice. Roll it around your tongue. “Faith-based horror.”

It’s gotta be the best contradiction in terms since “French resistance.” Or “folk rock.” Or “artists’ cooperative.” Sadly, in the case of The Remaining, “faith-based horror” seems to merely mean “Left Behind with poster art courtesy of Iced Earth.” In the story, the Rapture comes right in the middle of a young couple’s wedding, forcing their families and friends to make a serious decision: accept Jesus on the spot or finish off the chocolate fountain? This fundie Bridezilla parable comes to us from Affirm Films, the Sony imprint dedicated to making evangelical entertainment mainstream. And how good a job are they doing? The Remaining isn’t even listed at ComingSoon. net. You’re making me work too hard at this gig. — S.S. SIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR Rated R Rumors that Frank Miller was going to dump co-director Robert Rodriguez so he could helm this prequel/sequel all by himself died down around – oh, let’s say the exact day The Spirit came out. Other fun stuff to know: Angelina Jolie was supposed to play the title role before it went to Eva Green; Josh Brolin stepped into the part played by Clive Owen last time; and the title was changed from A Dame to Die For. Apparently, to modern focus groups, murder is OK but suicide is a no-no. And mall directories still suck. — S.S. TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES Rated PG-13 OK, this is an honest-to-goodness reboot, with Michael Bay the man in charge of introducing the heroes in a half-shell to a new generation. Michael Bay for the Jim Henson Company? It isn’t my idea of a nifty trade, either. And Bay has brought in Megan Fox so she can play intrepid reporter April O’Neil – so much for our confidence that the abundant bad blood between the two of them would relegate them to polluting the cinematic gene pool separately and individually. Honestly, watching this is like watching East and West Germany reunite. Or the Eagles. — S.S. WHAT IF Rated PG-13 The presence of Ol’ Ruby Sparks herself, Zoe Kazan, as the female lead is the hipster talking point here, and having her play opposite Daniel Radcliffe (aka The Ever-Expanding Wand of Harry Potter) is good for some mainstream ink. But the truly clued-in will be most enticed by the source material: Toothpaste and Cigars, a play co-written by mighty Fringecircuit monologist TJ Dawe. The play has toured Canada, but it’s never been here, which means that Dawe’s Sunshine-State acolytes essentially have a whole new work to dig into during the theatrical off-season. Seriously, it’s like Christmas for kids who get beat up a lot. — S.S. WHEN THE GAME STANDS TALL Rated PG … he sure makes Weezy look like a bitch when it comes to throwing three-pointers, nyuk nyuk! Actually, this new sports drama is about high school football, not hoops, and it stars Jesus-turned-Person-of-Interest Jim Caviezel as a real-life coach who took a California team to a record-winning streak.

Son of a bitch, I think I nodded off just typing that. — S.S.

A&E // ARTS Works by artists Stephen Heymann and Nicole Trimmer, including Trimmer’s Pig Skeleton (pictured) are on display through October at Burrito Gallery in Downtown.

PERFORMANCE

MAN OF LA MANCHA The story of eternal optimist Don Quixote and faithful sidekick Sancho Panza is set to Tonywinning music, accompanied by a themed menu created by Executive Chef DeJuan Roy. Dinner at 6 p.m., curtain up at 8 p.m. Sept. 10, 11, 16-18, 23-25, 28 and 30, $49.95 plus tax; Sept. 12, 13, 19, 20, 26 and 27 and Oct. 3, 4, 10, 11 and 12, $55 plus tax; brunch 11 a.m., show 1:15 p.m. Sept. 13, 20 and 27 and Oct. 4 and 11; brunch noon, show 2 p.m. Sept.

14, 21 and 28 and Oct. 5 and 12, $47 plus tax; at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com.

THE ADDAMS FAMILY: THE MUSICAL Spooky and creepy – and funny – the fresh-from-Broadway musical is staged 7:30 p.m. Thur.-Sat. and 2 p.m. Sun., Sept. 17-Oct. 19 at Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, $25, 825-1164, limelight-theatre.org. Opening night Addams-themed dinner seatings start at 6 p.m., Sept. 18 at Raintree Restaurant, 102 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine, $60 includes dinner and show.

HAIR: A LOVE ROCK MUSICAL Free-spirited young peaceniks during the Vietnam Era sing classic psychedelic hits like “Aquarius” and “Good Morning Starshine” among other songs whose titles may not be suitable for print, 8 p.m. Sept.

19, 2 p.m. Sept. 20 and 21 at Amelia Community Theatre, 207/209 Cedar St., Fernandina Beach, $25, 261-6749, ameliacommunitytheatre.org.

JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR Andrew Lloyd Webber’s music and Tim Rice’s words resonate again in this musical directed and choreographed by Ron Shreve and Jocelyn Geronimo and starring Alejandro Rodriguez as Jesus Christ, staged at 8 p.m.

Sept. 19, 20, 25, 26 and 27 and Oct. 2, 3, 4, 9, 10 and 11 and at 2 p.m. Sept. 28 and Oct. 5 at Players by the Sea, 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach, $28, 249-0289, playersbythesea.org.

PHANTOM, THE MUSICAL Not to be confused with Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Broadway production, OPCT’s Phantom puts a different spin on the story, delving deeper into the background of the mysterious masked man obsessed with a beautiful opera singer. The local production, employing a more classic operetta style, is staged at 8 p.m. Sept. 12, 13, 19 and 20; 3 p.m. Sept. 14 and 21 at Orange Park Community Theatre, 2900 Moody Ave., $20, 276-2599, opct.org.

THE BOY FROM OZ Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre presents the award-winning Broadway musical, about songwriter and entertainer Peter Allen, who wrote, among other hits, “Arthur’s Theme” and “I Honestly Love You.” It’s staged at 8 p.m. Sept. 12, 13, 19 and 20; 2 p.m. Sept. 14 and 21 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, $20, 249-7177, abettheatre.com.

FIGARO Part of Classic in San Marco series, this play, directed

by Amy Canning, is staged at 8 p.m. Sept. 19-21, 26-27 and Oct. 3 and 4, at 2 p.m. Sept. 21 and 28, and at 7:30 p.m. Sept.

25 and Oct. 2 at Theatre Jacksonville, 2032 San Marco Blvd., San Marco, $20-$25, 396-4425, theatrejax.com.

COMEDY

JOHN HEFFRON This comic won NBC’s Last Comic Standing, and appears at 8 p.m. Sept. 11-13 and 10 p.m. Sept. 13 at the Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, $18-$20, 292-4242, comedyzone.com.

ANGELO CLANFROCCO Comedian Clanfrocco uses interpretive dance and naughty stories to get laughs, performs at 9:30 p.m. Sept. 12-14 at Latitude 360, 10370 Philips Highway, Southside, 365-5555, latitude360.com.

CARMEN VALLONE The Italian comic from New York is on at 8:30 p.m. Sept. 12 at Bonkerz Comedy Club, bestbet, 455 Park Ave., Orange Park, $10 and $35, 646-0001, bestbetjax.com.

LUCAS BOHN Bohn appears at 8:04 p.m. Sept. 11-13 and 10:10 p.m. Sept. 12 at the Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., $6-$15, 646-4277, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

MAD COWFORD IMPROV Weekly PG-13-rated improv shows, based on audience suggestion, are held at 8:15 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at Northstar Substation, 119 E. Bay St., Downtown, $5, 233-2359, madcowford.com.

HOT POTATO COMEDY HOUR Local comics take the mic 9 p.m. every Mon. at rain dogs., 1045 Park St., 5 Points, free, 379-4969.

OPEN DOOR SUNDAYS This open mic night is available to comedians starting at 9 p.m. every Sun. at Tapa That, 820 Lomax St., 5 Points, free, 376-9911, tapathat.com.

CALLS, WORKSHOPS, EVENTS

NAO VICTORIA Tour a replica of the first Spanish tall ship to successfully circumnavigate the world, commanded by Ferdinand Magellan in the 16th century, 10 a.m.-6:30 p.m.

Mon.-Fri., to 7 p.m. Sat. and Sun. through December at St. Augustine Marina, 111 Avenida Menendez, 824-1606, elgaleon.org.

SUNDAY PAINT DAY Free art classes are offered to children of all ages, 5 p.m. every Sun. at LIYF Clothing & Accessories, 2870 University Blvd. W., Lakewood, vegan and vegetarian snacks, free, 865-630-0358.

VERBAL ESSENCE Open mic poetry and music are featured at 7 p.m. every Mon. at the Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, free, 807-2010, ritzjacksonville.com.

AMATEUR NIGHT Musicians, singers, comedians, poets participate in this audience-judged competition based on

Amateur Night at the Apollo, held at 7:30 p.m. every first Fri. at the Ritz Theatre & Museum, $6.

CLASSICAL, CHOIR, JAZZ

SEPTEMBER PEACE CONCERT UNF Chamber Singers, Douglas Anderson Concert Choir and Atlantic Coast High School Chorus perform at 6 p.m. Sept. 11 at St. John’s Cathedral, 256 E. Church St., Downtown, free, 620-2878, unf.edu.

BENEFIT CONCERT The San Marco Chamber Music Society performs at 7 p.m. Sept. 14 at St. Mark’s Lutheran Church, 3976 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, free (donations accepted; proceeds benefit Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation), 731-1310, sanmarcochambermusic.org.

MUSIC AT MAIN The violin, cello and piano ensemble of Max Huls, Alexi Romanenko and Christine Clark performs at 7 p.m.

Sept. 16 at Main Library Hicks Auditorium, 303 N. Laura St., Downtown, free, 630-2665, jplmusic.blogspot.com.

THE BRAHMS SEXTETS The Cummer Family Foundation Chamber Series presents UNF faculty members performing several works by Johannes Brahms at 7:30 p.m. Sept. 19 at UNF Recital Hall, 1 UNF Dr., Southside, free, 620-2878, unf.edu.

A DIFFERENT DRUM BEAT Legendary jazz drummer John Betsch performs with former Yellowcard drummer Longineu Parsons at 7:30 p.m. on Oct. 10 at Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd, 1100 Stockton St., Riverside, 389-6222, riversidefinearts.org.

JAZZ IN PONTE VEDRA The Gary Starling Group (Carol Sheehan, Billy Thornton, Peter Miles) performs 7:30-10:30 p.m. every Thur. at Table 1, 330 A1A N., 280-5515.

JAZZ IN RIVERSIDE Trumpeter Ray Callendar and guitarist Taylor Roberts are featured at 9:30 p.m. every Thur. at Kickbacks Gastropub, 910 King St., 388-9551.

JAZZ IN MANDARIN Boril Ivanov Trio plays at 7 p.m. every Thur. and pianist David Gum plays at 7 p.m. every Fri. at Tree Steakhouse, 11362 San Jose Blvd., 262-0006.

JAZZ IN NEPTUNE BEACH Live jazz is featured 7:30-9:30 p.m. every Sat. at Lillie’s Coffee Bar, 200 First St., 249-2922.

JAZZ IN ST. AUGUSTINE The House Cats, 9:30 p.m. every Sat., Stogies Club & Listening Room, 36 Charlotte St., 826-4008.

JAZZ IN ARLINGTON Jazzland Café features live music at 8 p.m. every Sat. and 6-9 p.m. every Tue. at 1324 University Blvd. N., 240-1009, jazzlandcafe.com.

JAZZ IN AVONDALE Von Barlow Trio and Third Bass 9 p.m. every Sun. at Casbah Café, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966.

JAZZ IN ST. AUGUSTINE Live jazz is featured nightly at Rhett’s Piano Bar & Brasserie, 66 Hypolita St., 825-0502.

ART WALKS, FESTIVALS & MARKETS

COMMUNITY FARMERS & ARTS MARKET Homemade baked goods, preserves, local honey, crafts, sauces, yard art, handcrafted jewelry and more are featured 4-7 p.m. today and every Wed. at 4300 St. Johns Ave., Riverside/Avondale, 607-9935.

DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts and crafts and local produce are offered 10 a.m.-2 p.m. every Fri. at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 353-1188.

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Pam Affronti, Sweet Scarlett, Jordyn Stoddard perform, starting 10:30 a.m. Sept. 13. Local and regional art and a farmers market are featured 10 a.m.-4 p.m. every Sat. under the Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com.

ARTRAGEOUS ART WALK Downtown Fernandina Beach galleries are open for self-guided tours, 5:30-8:30 p.m. Sept.

13 and every second Sat., 277-0717, ameliaisland.com.

MUSEUMS

AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY 233 S. Third St., Fernandina Beach, 261-7378, ameliamuseum.org. The children’s exhibit Discovery Ship allows kids to pilot the ship, hoist flags and learn about the history of Fernandina’s harbor.

BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY PARK 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, beachesmuseum.org. The exhibit Remembering Hurricane Dora: The 50th Anniversary opens with a reception held at 5:30 p.m. Sept. 10 and runs through Nov. 23. Admission is free for members, $5 for nonmembers.

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummer.org. Collector’s Choice: Inside the Hearts

and Minds of Regional Collectors, is on display through Sept.

14. The Human Figure: Sculptures by Enzo Torcoletti is on display through September. A Commemoration of the Civil Rights Movement: Photography from the High Museum of Art is on display through Nov. 2.

CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530, flagler.edu/crispellert. The Bourbon Street exhibition focuses on the culture of the famous New Orleans street through her own photography and screen grabs of the street’s 24-hour Earth Cam. Her works are on display through Oct. 18.

KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992, rain.org/~karpeles/jaxfrm.html. The permanent collection includes many rare manuscripts.

MANDARIN MUSEUM & HISTORICAL SOCIETY 11964 Mandarin Rd., 268-0784, mandarinmuseum.net. The exhibit The Maple Leaf, which features artifacts and information from the Civil War era, runs through December.

MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 366-6911, mocajacksonville.com.

The works of Caroline Lathan-Steifel are displayed in Project Atrium through Oct. 26. Express Your #Selfie shows off the works of Wolfson’s Children’s Hospital patients, through Nov. 30. The Juxtaposition exhibit of works by husband-and wife team Larry Wilson and Laurie Hitzig is on display through Nov. 2.

MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank, 396-6674, themosh.org. First Friday Cosmic Concerts (moshplanetarium.org) feature Laser Magic 7 p.m., Laser Vinyl 8 p.m., Dark Side of the Moon (Pink Floyd) 9 p.m., Led Zeppelin 10 p.m. on Oct. 3; $5.

WORLD GOLF HALL OF FAME & MUSEUM 1 World Golf Place, St. Augustine, worldgolfhalloffame.org. Honoring the Legacy: A Tribute to African-Americans in Golf, featuring photographs, audio, video and memorabilia from the late 1800s to the present, is in the WGHOF permanent collection.

GALLERIES

THE ART CENTER PREMIER GALLERY Bank of America Tower, 50 N. Laura St., Downtown, 355-1757. Print Matters: Making an Impression, works of various print-making techniques, are on display through November.

CORK ARTS DISTRICT 2689 Rosselle St., Riverside, facebook. com/corkartsdistrict. Overstreet Ducasse, Susanne Schuenke, Rhonda Bristol and Stephanie Glen combine talents to create a show about art with a mathematics twist Four Dimensions: The Mystic & Fun of Art & Mathematics with an opening reception at 4 p.m. Sept. 13, by appointment only Sept. 14-27.

THE CULTURAL CENTER AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, 280-0614, ccvb.org. The works of figurative painter Susanna Richter-Helman and wood sculptor Peter Blunt are displayed in the center’s main gallery through Sept. 19.

FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928, firststreetgalleryart.com. New digital paintings by Melinda Bradshaw are featured in the exhibit Beneath African Skies through Oct. 20.

J. JOHNSON GALLERY 177 Fourth Ave. N., Jax Beach, 435-3200, jjohnsongallery.com. The new exhibit Modulism, featuring works by Dolf James and Andrew Zimmerman, opens with a reception at 6 p.m. Sept. 19; it runs through Nov. 7.

ROTUNDA GALLERY 500 San Sebastian View, St. Augustine, 829-9721, stjohnsculture.com. An exhibit of black-and-white photographs from about 30 nonprofit organizations in St. Johns County is on display through Oct. 23.

THE ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., St. Augustine, 824-2310, staaa.org. David Allaway discusses Art & Illuminations of The St. John’s Bible at 7 p.m., admission is free, but reservations are required; donations are accepted.

winner of 5 Tony AwArds®

Dream the impossible dream!

the tale of don quixote

presented by

Sept. 10 - Oct. 12

Coming Soon

the drowsy chaperone

the golden age of musicals October 22 – November 23

AUTHORS & LECTURES

WILL HARLAN The Public Trust Environmental Legal Institute of Florida presents Harlan, author of the bestseller The Wildest Woman in America and The Fight for Cumberland Island, about Carol Ruckdeschel, a self-taught environmentalist and advocate for keeping Cumberland Island safe from development. Harlan discusses his book at 7 p.m. Sept. 17 at Beaches Branch Library, 300 Third St., Neptune Beach, free, 247-1972, publictrustlaw.org.

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SEPTEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23

24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 10-16, 2014

DINING DIRECTORY

To list your restaurant, contact your account manager or Sam Taylor at 904.260.9770 ext. 111 or staylor@folioweekly.com.

BURRITO GALLERY & BAR, 21 E. Adams St., 598-2922, burritogallery.com. BOJ. Southwestern burritos, ginger teriyaki tofu, beef barbacoa, wraps, tacos. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. CASA MARIA, 12961 N. Main St., Ste. 104, 757-6411. F

DINING DIRECTORY KEY

SEE BEACHES.

Average Entrée Cost $ = Less than 8 $$ = $8- $14 $$$ = $15- $22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted free FW Bite Club tasting. Join: fwbiteclub.com.

BOJ = 2013 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot

CHOMP CHOMP, 106 E. Adams St., 762-4667. F Eats at moderate prices – most less than $10. Chef-inspired street food: panko-crusted chicken, burgers, chinois tacos, bahn mi and barbecue. $ L Tue.-Sat.; D Thur.-Sat. FIONN MacCOOL’S Irish Pub & Restaurant, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1547, fionnmacs.com. BOJ. Casual dining with an uptown Irish atmosphere, serving fish and chips, Guinness lamb stew and black-and-tan brownies. $$ FB K L D Daily OLIO MARKET, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com.

From-scratch soups, sandwiches. They cure their own bacon, pickle their pickles. Home to duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L Mon.-Fri.

$

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH, YULEE

29 SOUTH EATS, 29 S. Third St., 277-7919, 29southrestaurant.com. F In historic downtown, Chef Scotty Schwartz serves traditional regional cuisine with a modern twist. $$ L Tue.-Sat.; D Mon.-Sat.; R Sun. BARBERITOS, 1519 Sadler Rd., 277-2505. 463867 S.R. 200, Ste. 5, Yulee, 321-2240, barberitos.com.

Southwestern fare; made-to-order burritos, tacos, quesadillas, nachos, handcrafted salsa. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BRETT’S Waterway Café, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality in an upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB K L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com.

F In a historic building, the family-owned spot offers worldly fare: veggie burgers, fresh seafood, made-from-scratch desserts. Dine in or out on oak-shaded patio. Karibrew Pub offers beer brewed onsite. $$ FB K TO R, Sun.; L D Daily CIAO ITALIAN BISTRO, 302 Centre St., 206-4311, ciaobistroluca.com. Owners Luka and Kim Misciasci offer fine dining: veal piccata, rigatoni Bolognese, antipasto. Specialties: chicken Ciao, homemade-style meat lasagna. $ L Fri. & Sat.; D Nightly DAVID’S Restaurant & Lounge, 802 Ash St., 310-6049, ameliaislanddavids.com. Fine dining in historic district. Fresh seafood, prime aged meats, rack of lamb served in an elegant, chic spot. $$$$ FB D Wed.-Mon. DICK’S Wings, 474313 E. S.R. 200, 491-3469. 450077 S.R. 200, Callahan, 879-0993. BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA. ELIZABETH POINTE LODGE, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. BOJ. Award-winning B&B offers elegant seaside dining, indoors or outside. Hot buffet breakfast daily. Homestyle soups, specialty sandwiches, salads, desserts. $$$ BW K B L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianes cafe.com. F In renovated 1887 shotgun house. Jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, vegan/vegetarian items. Dine in or on porch. $$ FB K B L D Daily LULU’S at Thompson House, 11 S. Seventh St., 432-8394, lulusamelia.com. F Creative lunch: po’boys, salads, little plates. Dinner: fresh local seafood, Fernandina shrimp.

Reservations. $$$ BW K TO R Sun.; L D Tue.-Sat. MARCHÉ BURETTE, 6800 First Coast Hwy., 491-4834, omnihotels.com. Old-fashioned gourmet food market/deli, in Spa & Shops, Omni Amelia Island Plantation. Continental breakfast; lunch features flatbreads. $$$ BW K TO L D Daily MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriverpizza.net. F BOJ. Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, by the pie or the slice. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE MUSTARD SEED CAFE, 833 TJ Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Snail of Approval. Casual organic eatery and juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juice, coffee, herbal tea. $$ TO B L Mon.-Sat. PALATE Restaurant & Raw Bar, 614 Centre St., 432-7690, palateamelia.com. The new place features upscale Southerninfluenced cuisine and a raw bar. $$ FB K TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE PECAN ROLL BAKERY, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815, thepecanrollbakery.com. The bakery near the historic district has sweet and savory pastries, cookies, cakes, bagels, breads, all made from scratch. $ K TO B L Wed.-Sun. PLAE, 80 Amelia Village Cir., 277-2132, plaefl.net. Bite Club. Omni Plantation Spa & Shops. Bistro-style venue serves whole fried fish and duck breast. Outdoor dining. $$$ FB L Tue.-Sat.; D Nightly THE SALTY PELICAN Bar & Grill, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F ICW sunset view; secondstory outdoor bar. Owners T.J. and Al offer local seafood, Mayport shrimp, fish tacos, po’boys, original broiled cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F BOJ. Oceanfront place serves awardwinning handmade crab cakes, fresh seafood, fried pickles.

Outdoor dining, open-air 2nd floor, balcony. $$ FB K L D Daily TASTY’S FRESH BURGERS & FRIES, 710 Centre St., 321-0409, tastysamelia.com. BOJ. In historic district. Fresh fast-food alternative, combining the freshest meats, hand-cut fries, homemade sauces, hand-spun shakes. $ BW K L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. 8th St., 261-6310. F This spot in an old gas station offers blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L Mon.-Sat. THE VERANDAH, 6800 First Coast Hwy., 321-5050, omni hotels.com. Extensive menu of fresh local seafood and steaks; signature entrée is Fernandina shrimp. Many herbs and spices are from onsite garden. $$$ FB K D Nightly

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

DICK’S Wings, 9119 Merrill Rd., 745-9300. SEE PONTE VEDRA. LA NOPALERA, 8818 Atlantic Blvd., 720-0106. SEE MANDARIN. LARRY’S SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd., Ste. 5, 724-5802. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

THE SHEIK DELI, 9720 Atlantic Blvd., 721-2660. Familyowned-and-operated, Sheik delis have served our area for

FLEMING ISLAND

Chef Greg DeSanto of Olio downtown prepares salmon salad, shrimp and grits and duck grilled cheese.

Photo: Dennis Ho

40+ years, with a full breakfast (pitas to country plates) and a lunch menu. $ TO B L D Mon.-Sat.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

BAGEL LOVE, 4114 Herschel St., Ste. 121, 634-7253, bagel lovejax.com. BOJ. Locally-owned-and-operated spot. Northern style bagels, cream cheeses, sandwiches, wraps, bakery items.

Fresh-squeezed OJ and lemonade, coffee, tea. $ K TO B L Daily THE CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966, the casbahcafe.com. F BOJ. Middle Eastern/Mediterranean fare.

Patio, hookah lounge, bellydancers. $$ BW L D Daily CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATE, 3543 St. Johns Ave., 829-5790. F In Green Man Gourmet. Wines, spices, fresh fruit ice pops and Belgian chocolates. SEE PONTE VEDRA. $$ TO THE FOX Restaurant, 3580 St. Johns Ave., 387-2669. F Owners Ian & Mary Chase offer fresh diner fare: burgers, meatloaf, fried green tomatoes, desserts. Breakfast all day.

Local landmark for 50+ years. $$ BW K L D Daily HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned and operated for 20+ years, the American pub serves 1/2-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA, 4530 St. Johns, 388-8828. F See Mandarin.

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club. BOJ. SEE BEACHES. MOJO NO. 4 Urban BBQ & Whiskey Bar, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. PINEGROVE Market & Deli, 1511 Pine Grove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F BOJ. 40+ years. Burgers, Cuban sandwiches, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher cuts USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. $ BW TO B L D Mon.-Sat. PULP, 3645 St. Johns Ave., pulpaddiction.com. SEE SAN MARCO. RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurant orsay.com. BOJ. French/Southern bistro serves steak frites, mussels and Alsatian pork chops, with an emphasis on locally grown organic ingredients. Snail of Approval. Craft cocktails. $$$ FB K R, Sun.; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simply saras.net. F Down-home fare, from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Mon.-Sat., B Sat.

BAYMEADOWS

AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 7825 Baymeadows Way, 733-4040.

F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES.

BROADWAY Ristorante & Pizzeria, Ste. 3, 10920 Baymeadows Rd. E., 519-8000, broadwayfl.com. F Family-owned-andoperated Italian pizzeria serves calzones, wings, brick-oven-baked pizza, subs. $$ BW K TO L D Daily INDIA’S Restaurant, 9802 Baymeadows, Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajax.com. F Authentic Indian cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetable dishes, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L Mon.-Sat.; D Nightly LA NOPALERA, 8206 Philips Hwy., 732-9433. F SEE MANDARIN. LARRY’S SUBS, 3928 Baymeadows, 737-7740. 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791. SEE MANDARIN. PIZZA PALACE Restaurant & Pizzeria, 3928 Baymeadows, 527-8649, pizzapalacejax.com. F Relaxed, family-owned place serves homestyle cuisine. Local faves: spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, ravioli, lasagna, parmigiana. Outside dining; HD TVs. $$ BW K TO L D Daily ZESTY INDIA, 8358 Point Meadows Dr., 329-3676, zesty india.com. Asian methods meld with European template to create tandoori lamb chops, rosemary tikka. Vegetarian items cooked separately in vegetable oil. $ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun.

BEACHES

(Locations are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Ctr., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002, alspizza.com. F BOJ. For 20+ years, Al’s is a repeat winner in FW readers’ poll. New York-style, gourmet pizzas, baked dishes. All-day HH Mon.-Thur. $ FB K TO L D Daily

BOLD BEAN Coffee Roasters, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201.

BOJ. SEE RIVERSIDE. BUDDHA THAI BISTRO, 301 10th Ave. N., 712-4444, buddhathaibistro.com. The proprietors are from Thailand; every dish is made with fresh ingredients. $$ FB TO L D Daily BURRITO GALLERY Express, 1333 Third St. N., 242-8226.

BOJ. SEE DOWNTOWN. CANTINA MAYA SPORTS BAR & Grille, 1021 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 247-3227. Popular spot serves great margaritas, great Latin food, burgers. Sports on TVs. $$ FB K L D Tue.-Sun. CASA MARIA, 2429 S. Third St., 372-9000, casamariajax. com. F Family-owned-and-operated place offers authentic Mexican fare: fajitas and seafood dishes, hot sauces made inhouse. The specialty is tacos de asada. $ FB K L D Daily CULHANE’S Irish Public House, 967 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 249-9595, culhanesirishpub.com. Bite Club. Upscale pub and restaurant owned and managed by sisters from County Limerick, Ireland. Shepherd’s pie, corned beef; gastropub menu. $$ FB K R Sat. & Sun.; L Fri.-Sun.; D Tue.-Sun. EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001. SEE RIVERSIDE.

FLYING IGUANA Taqueria & Tequila Bar, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680, flyingiguana.com. F Latin American fusion, Southwestern-influenced: tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana sandwiches. 100+ tequilas. $ FB L D Daily LA NOPALERA, 1222 Third St. S., 372-4495. F SEE MANDARIN. LARRY’S Subs, 657 N. Third St., 247-9620. F SEE ORANGE PARK. LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., Beaches Town Ctr., NB, 249-2922, lilliescoffeebar.com. F Locally roasted coffee, eggs, bagels, flatbreads, sandwiches, desserts. Dine indoors or out, patio and courtyard. $$ BW TO B L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com. F Bite Club. BOJ. Hoagies, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers. Nonstop HH. $ FB K TO L D Daily METRO Diner, 1534 Third St. N., 853-6817. BOJ. SEE SAN MARCO. MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., Beaches Town Ctr., NB, 249-5573, mezzarestaurantandbar.com. F Near-the-ocean eatery, 20+ years. Casual bistro fare: gourmet wood-fired pizzas, nightly specials. Dine inside or on the patio.

Valet parking. $$$ FB K D Mon.-Sat. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ Pit & Blues Bar, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636, mojobbq.com. F BOJ. Pulled pork, Carolina-style barbecue, Delta fried catfish, all the sides. $$ FB K TO L D Daily M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Ctr., AB, 241-2599. F BOJ. David and Matthew Medure flip burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes, familiar fare, moderate prices. Dine inside or outside. $$ BW L D Daily NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, AB, 372-4105, nbbistro.com. Bite Club. Neighborhood gem with a chef-driven kitchen serves hand-cut steaks, fresh local seafood, tapas menu. HH. $$$ FB K R Sun.; L D Daily OCEAN 60 Restaurant, Wine Bar & Martini Room, 60 Ocean Blvd., AB, 247-0060, ocean60.com. BOJ. Continental cuisine, fresh seafood, nightly dinner specials and a seasonal menu in a formal dining room or casual Martini Room. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. RAGTIME TAVERN & Seafood Grill, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Ctr., AB, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F For 30+ years, the seafood place has scored many awards in our BOJ readers poll. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily HH. $$ FB L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 1018 Third St. N., 372-4456, saltlifefoodshack.com. BOJ. Specialty items: signature tuna poke bowl, fresh rolled sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp, in a modern open-air space. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SLIDERS Seafood Grille & Oyster Bar, 218 First St., Beaches Town Ctr., NB, 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille. com. Beach-casual. Faves: Fresh fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, ice cream sandwiches. $$ FB K L Sat. & Sun.; D Nightly

DOWNTOWN

AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 21 W. Church St., 665-7324, akelsdeli.com. F New York-style deli offers freshly made fare: subs (3 Wise Guys, Champ), burgers, gyros, breakfast bowls, ranchero wrap, vegetarian dishes. $ K TO B L Mon.-Fri.

GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 1915 East-West Pkwy., 541-0009. F BOJ. SEE RIVERSIDE. LA NOPALERA, 1571 C.R. 220, 215-2223. F SEE MANDARIN. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999.

F Bite Club. BOJ. SEE BEACHES. MOJO Smokehouse, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteys fishcamp.com. F Real fish camp serves gator tail, freshwater river catfish, daily specials, traditional fare, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, motorcycle or car. $ FB K TO L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly YOUR PIE, 1545 C.R. 220, Ste. 125, 379-9771, yourpie.com.

Owner Mike Sims has a fast, casual pizza concept: Choose from 3 doughs, 9 sauces, 7 cheeses and 40+ toppings; create a pizza pie. In a brick oven for 5 minutes and ta-da: It’s your pie. Subs, sandwiches, gelato. $$ BW K TO L D Daily

INTRACOASTAL WEST

AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES.

DICK’S Wings, 14286 Beach Blvd., 223-0115. F BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA.

LA NOPALERA Mexican Restaurant, 14333 Beach Blvd., Ste. 39, 992-1666. F Tamales, fajitas, pork tacos. Some La Nops have a full bar. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

TIME OUT Sports Grill, 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 223-6999, timeoutsportsgrill.com. F Locally-owned-and-operated.

Hand-tossed pizzas, wings, wraps. Daily drink specials, HDTVs, pool tables. Late-night menu. $$ FB L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly

JULINGTON CREEK

DICK’S Wings, 525 S.R. 16, Ste. 101, 825-4540. BOJ. SEE P.V. METRO Diner, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F BOJ. SEE SAN MARCO.

PIZZA PALACE, 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, 230-2171. F SEE BAYMEADOWS.

MANDARIN

AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 12926 Gran Bay Pkwy. W., 880-2008.

F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F SEE BEACHES. ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199, athenscafe.com. F All the favorites, from dolmades (stuffed grape leaves) to baby shoes (stuffed eggplant). Greek beers. $$ BW L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. BROOKLYN PIZZA, 11406 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 288-9211.

13820 St. Augustine Rd., 880-0020. Brooklyn Special.

Calzones, white pizza, homestyle lasagna. $$ BW TO L D Daily THE COFFEE BARD, 9735 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 13, 260-0810, thecoffeebard.com. New world coffeehouse has coffees, breakfast, drinks. $$ TO B L D Tue.-Sun. DICK’S Wings, 10391 Old St. Augustine, 880-7087. F BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA.

GIGI’S RESTAURANT, 3130 Hartley Rd., 694-4300, jaxramada .com. BOJ. In Ramada. Prime rib and crab leg buffet Fri. & Sat., blue-jean brunch Sun., daily breakfast, lunch and dinner buffets. $$$ FB B R L D Daily GILMON’S BAKERY, 11362 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 13, 288-8128, gilmonsbakery.com. Custom cakes, cupcakes, gingerbread men, pies, cookies, coffee, tea. $$ B L Tue.-Sat. HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 30, 880-3040, harmoniousmonks.net. F American-style steakhouse: Angus steaks, gourmet burgers, ribs, wraps. $$ FB K L D Mon.-Sat. KAZU Japanese Restaurant, 9965 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 35, 683-9903, kazujapaneserestaurant.com. Wide variety of soups, dumplings, appetizers, salads, bento boxes, sushi, entrées, maki handrolls, sashimi. $$ BW TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA, 11700 San Jose Blvd., 288-0175. F Tamales, fajitas and pork tacos are customer favorites. Some locations offer a full bar. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S SUBS, 11365 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 674-2945. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. Natural, organic soups, sandwiches, wraps, baked goods, prepared foods, juices and smoothies. Juice, smoothie and coffee bar. All-natural, organic beers, wines. Indoor, outdoor dining. $ BW TO K B L D Daily THE RED ELEPHANT Pizza & Grill, 10131 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 12, 683-3773, redelephantpizza.com. F Casual, familyfriendly eatery serves steaks, seafood, chicken grill specials.

SEPTEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25

DINING DIRECTORY GRILL ME!

MSHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000. F BOJ. SEE

A WEEKLY Q&A WITH PEOPLE IN THE FOOD BIZ

BEACHES.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

NAME: Chris Prevatt

BASIL THAI & SUSHI, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190, basilthaijax.com. F Authentic dishes include Pad Thai, curries, sashimi, fresh sushi, daily specials. $$ FB L D Mon.-Sat. DICK’S Wings, 1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110. SEE P.V. EUROPEAN STREET, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 398-9500. BOJ.

RESTAURANT: Zeta Brewing, 131 First Ave. N., Jax Beach BIRTHPLACE: Jacksonville

YEARS IN THE BIZ: 20

FAVORITE RESTAURANT (other than mine): Safe Harbor Seafood, Mayport Village

SEE RIVERSIDE.

BEST CUISINE STYLE: Beer-centered gastro cuisine GO-TO INGREDIENTS: Chocolate, stone fruits, anything fresh and local IDEAL MEAL: Anything smoked with a good IPA WILL NOT CROSS MY LIPS: Macro beers INSIDER’S SECRET: Drink local!

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: Jax Beach Mayor Charlie Latham is a regular.

CULINARY TREAT: Green Room Brewing’s Quetzalcoatl Five topping selections. Salads, sandwiches, pizza. Gluten-free friendly. $ FB K L D Daily STEAMIN, 9703 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 493-2020, eatsteamin.com. Classic diner serves steam burgers, fat dogs and chili, 50+ craft beers. $ FB TO B Sat.-Sun.; L D Daily

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

ARON’S PIZZA, 650 Park Ave., 269-1007, aronspizza.com.

F Family-owned restaurant has eggplant dishes, manicotti, New York-style pizzas. $$ BW K TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS, 1540 Wells Rd., 269-2122. SEE PONTE VEDRA. THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Road, 272-5959, hilltop-club. com. Southern-style fine dining. Specialties: New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. $$$ FB D Tue.-Sat. LA NOPALERA, 9734 Crosshill Blvd., 908-4250. 2024 Kingsley Ave., 276-2776. F SEE MANDARIN. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding, Ste. 15, 272-3553. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove Springs, 284-7789, larryssubs. com. F For 30+ years, all over town, they pile ’em high and serve ’em fast. Hot/cold subs, soups, salads. $ K TO B L D Daily POMPEII COAL-FIRED PIZZA, 2134 Park Ave., 264-6116.

Family-owned-and-operated, offering pizzas and wings made in coal-fired ovens. Espresso, cappuccino. $ BW TO L D Daily THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611, roadhouse online.net. F Wings, sandwiches, burgers, quesadillas; 35+ years. 75+ imported beers. $ FB L D Daily THE SHEIK, 1994 Kingsley Ave., 276-2677. SEE ARLINGTON.

PONTE VEDRA, NW ST. JOHNS

AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A N., 543-1494. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATE, 145 Hilden Rd., Ste. 122, 829-5790, claudeschocolate.com. Hand-crafted premium Belgian chocolate, fruits, nuts, spices. Cookies, popsicles. $$ TO DICK’S Wings & Grill, 100 Marketside Ave., 829-8134, dickswingsandgrill.com. F BOJ. NASCAR-themed; 365 kinds of wings, half-pound burgers, ribs. $ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S, 830 A1A N., Ste. 6, 273-3993. F SEE ORANGE PARK. RESTAURANT MEDURE, 818 A1A N., 543-3797, restaurant medure.us. Chef David Medure offers global flavors. Small plates, creative drinks, HH twice daily. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat.

RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE

AKEL’S DELI, 245 Riverside Ave., 791-3336. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES.

BLACK SHEEP Restaurant, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, black sheep5points.com. BOJ. New American fare with Southern twist, made with locally sourced ingredients. Rooftop bar. $$$ FB R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily BOLD BEAN Coffee Roasters, 869 Stockton St., Stes. 1-2, 855-1181. F BOJ. Small-batch, artisanal coffee roasting.

Organic, fair trade. $ BW TO B L Daily DICK’S Wings, 5972 San Juan, 693-9258. SEE PONTE VEDRA. EDGEWOOD BAKERY, 1012 S. Edgewood Ave., 389-8054, edgewoodbakery.com. 66+ years, full-service bakery. Fresh breakfast, from-scratch pastries, petit fours, pies, cakes.

Espresso, sandwiches, smoothies, soups. $$ K TO B L Tue.-Sat. EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 2753 Park St., 384-9999, europeanstreet.com. BOJ. 130+ imported beers, 20 on tap.

NYC-style classic Reuben, overstuffed sandwiches; salads, soups. Outside seating at some EStreets. $ BW K L D Daily GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F BOJ. Juice bar uses certified organic fruit, vegetables. Artisanal cheese, 300+ craft/import beers, 50 organic wines, produce, meats, wraps, raw, vegan, vitamins and herbs. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. Based on fare of Asian street vendors, peddling authentic dishes from mobile stalls. Chefs here serve the best hawker recipes under one roof. $ BW TO L D Daily KNEAD BAKESHOP, 1173 Edgewood Ave. S. New from Bold Bean Coffee Roasters’ owners. Locally-owned, family-run bake shop specializes in made-from-scratch pastries, artisan breads, savory pies, specialty sandwiches, seasonal soups. $ TO B L Tue.-Sun. LARRY’S SUBS, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794. 7895

26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 10-16, 2014

Normandy, 781-7600. 5733 Roosevelt, 446-9500. 8102 Blanding, 779-1933. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO Diner, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., Ortega, 999-4600. F BOJ. SEE SAN MARCO. MONROE’S Smokehouse BAR-B-Q, 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551, monroessmokehousebbq.com. Monroe’s smoked meats include wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey and ribs.

Homestyle sides include green beans, baked beans, mac-ncheese, collards. $$ K TO L Mon.-Sat.; D Fri. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F BOJ. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. THE MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434, moss fire.com. F Southwestern fish tacos, chicken enchiladas.

HH Mon.-Sat. upstairs lounge, all day Sun. $$ FB K L D Daily O’BROTHERS Irish Pub, 1521 Margaret St., 854-9300, obrothersirishpub.com. F Traditional shepherd’s pie with Stilton crust, Guinness mac-n-cheese, fish-n-chips. Patio dining. $$ FB K TO L D Daily THE SHEIK, 7361 103rd St., 778-4805. 5172 Normandy Blvd., 786-7641. SEE ARLINGTON. SUN-RAY Cinema, 1028 Park St., 359-0049, sunraycinema. com. F Beer (Bold City, Intuition), wine, pizza, hot dogs, hummus, sandwiches, popcorn, nachos, brownies. $$ BW Daily SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside Ave., Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushicafejacksonville.com. Sushi variety: Monster Roll, Jimmy Smith Roll; faves like Rock-n-Rol, Dynamite Roll. Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. Indoor or patio. $$ BW L D Daily

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. AVILES Restaurant & Lounge, 32 Avenida Menendez, 829-2277, hiltonhistoricstaugustine.net. F Hilton Bayfront.

Progressive European-flavored menu; made-to-order pasta night, wine dinners, chophouse nights, breakfast buffet. Sun. champagne brunch bottomless mimosas. $$$ FB K B L D Daily CARMELO’S Marketplace & Pizzeria, 146 King St., 494-6658, carmelosmarketplace.com. F NY-style gourmet brick-ovenbaked pizza, fresh sub rolls, Boar’s Head meats and cheeses, garlic herb wings. Outdoor seating, Wi-Fi. $$ BW TO L D Daily CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATE, 6 Granada St., 829-5790. In The Market. Wine and chocolate pairings, soft-serve ice cream, a coffee bar, fresh fruit ice pops, cookies. $$ TO THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655, thefloridianst aug.com. Updated Southern fare: fresh ingredients from area farms. Vegetarian, gluten-free. Fried green tomato bruschetta, grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D Wed.-Mon. GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F A mainstay for 25+ years, Gypsy’s menu changes twice daily. Signature dish: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. Sun. brunch. $$ FB R Sun.; L D Daily THE ICE PLANT BAR, 110 Riberia St., 829-6553, iceplantbar. com. Vintage-inspired (an old ice plant) in historic area. Farmto-table menu uses locally sourced ingredients; drinks are handcrafted with house-made bitters, syrups. $$$ FB TO D Nightly MELLOW MUSHROOM, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F Bite Club. BOJ. SEE BEACHES. MOJO Old City BBQ, 5 Cordova, 342-5264. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES.

PACIFIC ASIAN BISTRO, 159 Palencia Village Dr., Ste. 111, 808-1818, pacificasianbistro.com. F BOJ. Chef Mas Lui creates 30+ sushi rolls; fresh sea scallops, Hawaiian-style poke tuna salad. Sake. $$-$$$ BW L D Daily SALT LIFE Food Shack, 321 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 217-3256, saltlifefoodshack.com. BOJ. SEE BEACHES. TEMPO, 16 Cathedral Place, 547-0240. Latin American fusion wine bar and restaurant offers traditional American fare with a Latin flair; sandwiches, too. $$ BW L D Tue.-Sun.

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER

BENTO CAFE Asian Kitchen & Sushi, 4860 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1, 564-9494, bentocafesushi.com. Pan-Asian fare; wide array of Asian-inspired dishes: wok stir-fry to firegrilled, with authentic spices, fresh ingredients. Full sushi bar. $$ K FB TO L D Daily MOXIE Kitchen + Cocktails, 4972 Big Island Dr., 998-9744, moxiefl.com. Chef Tom Gray’s place features innovative contemporary American cuisine – seafood, steaks, pork, burgers, salads, sides and desserts – using locally sourced ingredients when possible. $$$ FB K L Mon.-Fri.; D Nightly

FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusion sushijax.com. F Upscale sushi spot serves a variety of fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ K L D Daily THE GROTTO Wine & Tapas Bar, 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726, grottowine.com. F Varied tapas menu: artisanal cheese plates, empanadas, bruschettas, cheesecake. 60+ wines by the glass. $$$ BW Tue.-Sun. LA NOPALERA, 1631 Hendricks, 399-1768. F SEE MANDARIN. MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922, matthews restaurant.com. Chef Matthew Medure’s flagship. Fine dining, artfully presented cuisine, small plates, martini/wine lists. HH Mon.-Fri. Reservations. $$$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metrodiner. com. F BOJ. Original upscale diner in ’30s-era building.

Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, homemade soups. $$ B R L Daily MOJO Bar-B-Que, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. PIZZA PALACE, 1959 San Marco Blvd., 399-8815. F SEE BAYMEADOWS.

PULP, 1962 San Marco Blvd., 396-9222, pulpaddiction.com.

Juice bar offers fresh juices, frozen yogurt, teas, coffees, 30 kinds of smoothies. $ TO B L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Blvd., 398-3005, tavernasan marco.com. Modern take on classic recipes with authentic Italian ingredients, seasonal produce and meats from local purveyors coexist on Chef Sam Efron’s menus. Regional craft beers, handcrafted cocktails. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE

360° GRILLE, Latitude 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555, latitude360.com. F Seafood, steaks, burgers, chicken, sandwiches, pizza. Patio, movie theater. $$ FB TO L D Daily AKEL’S, 7077 Bonneval Rd., 332-8700. F SEE DOWNTOWN. ALHAMBRA Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. Longest-running dinner theater.

Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus. Reservations. $$ FB D Tue.-Sun. BARBERITOS, 4320 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., Ste. 106, 807-9060. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. BENTO CAFE Asian Kitchen & Sushi, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 11, 503-3238. SEE ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER. CASA MARIA, 14965 Old St. Augustine, 619-8186. SEE BEACHES. DICK’S Wings, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 619-0954. SEE P.V. THE DIM SUM ROOM, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138D, 363-9888, thedimsumroom.com. Shrimp dumplings, beef tripe, sesame ball. Traditional Hong Kong noodles, barbecue. $ FB K L D Daily European Street, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717. SEE RIVERSIDE. HZ CAFE, 6426 Bowden Rd., Ste. 206, 527-1078. Healthy concept cafe serves juices, smoothies, traditional vegan and vegetarian meals and vegan and gluten-free meals and desserts. $ K TO B L Mon.-Fri. LARRY’S SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F BOJ. SEE ORANGE PARK. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 997-1955. F Bite Club. BOJ. SEE BEACHES. MONROE’s BarBQ, 10771 Beach Blvd., 996-7900. SEE RIVERSIDE.

SEVEN BRIDGES Grille & Brewery, 9735 Gate Pkwy., 997-1999, 7bridgesgrille.com. F Local seafood, steaks, pizzas. Brewer Aaron Nesbit handcrafts ales, lagers. $$ FB K TO L D Daily TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Court, 854-0426, tavernayamas.com. F Bite Club. BOJ. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, wines, desserts. Belly dancing. $$ FB K L D Daily TOMMY’S Brick Oven Pizza, 4160 Southside Blvd., Ste. 2, 565-1999, tbopizza.com. NY-style thin crust, brick-ovencooked pizzas (gluten-free), calzones, sandwiches made fresh to order. Boylan’s soda. Curbside pick-up. $$ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. WATAMI ASIAN FUSION, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138D, 363-9888. AYCE sushi, plus two teppanyaki grill items.

Faves: Jaguar, dynamite, lobster, soft-shell crab rolls. $ FB K L D Daily WORLD of BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Court, Ste. 1, 551-5929, worldofbeer.com. F Burgers, tavern fare, sliders,flatbreads, German pretzels, hummus, pickle chips. Craft German, Cali, Florida, Irish drafts. Wines. $$ BW L D Daily

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

HOLA, 1001 N. Main St., 356-3100, holamexicanrestaurant. com. F Fajitas, burritos, enchiladas, daily specials. HH daily; sangria. $ BW K TO L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S, 12001 Lem Turner, 764-9999. SEE ORANGE PARK. SAVANNAH BISTRO, 14670 Duval Rd., 741-4404, cpjack sonvilleairport.com. F Low Country Southern fare, taste of Mediterranean and French. Crowne Plaza Airport. Crab cakes, NY strip, she crab soup, mahi mahi. $$$ FB K B L D Daily THE SHEIK, 2708 N. Main St., 353-8181. SEE ARLINGTON. UPTOWN MARKET, 1303 Main St. N., 355-0734, uptownmarketjax.com. Bite Club. In 1300 Building. Fresh quality fare, innovative breakfast, lunch and dinner; farm-totable selections, daily specials. $$ BW TO B L Daily

BITE-SIZED

Best BBQ

IN JACKSONVILLE

(Next to Target)

Winner Best BBQ

$1 BEER • $2 WINE • $3 THREE OLIVES

Jax Truckies 2014

2 Locations Serving You 4838 Highway Ave. (904) 389-5551

10771 Beach Blvd.

(904) 996-7900

Photo by Caron Streibich

A POWERFUL KNEAD

New Murray Hill bakeshop is a must for breakfast or lunch

M

onkey bread muffins. Almond croissants. in chili oil, capers and lox, is my go-to for a Orange chocolate scones. Peach muffins. weekend breakfast, and the ham, gruyere and fresh thyme croissant ($4.25) is a satisfying Tomato pie. treat to start the workday. Knead’s croissants Are you drooling yet? are perfectly buttery and flaky.

For more than a year, I’ve been devouring From the lunch menu, choose a sandwich Adam Burnett’s delectable scratch-made made with freshly baked bread, which makes creations at Riverside’s Bold Bean Coffee them that much more devourable. I enjoyed Roasters, and even included the tomato the unique radish sandwich pie on my list of the top 10 ($7) slathered with goat things I ate in 2013. Now all KNEAD BAKESHOP cheese, arugula, thinly sliced of his goodies, plus a line of 1173 Edgewood Ave. S. radishes and truffle oil. The breakfast sandwiches and facebook.com/ tempeh bahn mi with pickled lunch items, get their turn kneadabakeshop julienned vegetables, cilantro, to shine at Knead, a newly and a spicy chili aioli also opened Murray Hill bakeshop. excels. For an über-savory choice, go with the And since Burnett’s dad Jay and brother Zack duck confit sandwich ($9), loaded with pickled own Bold Bean, there’s family reciprocity: green tomato slices and homemade onion jam.

Knead serves Bold Bean coffee.

Kettle chips are included, or you can upgrade Open Tuesday through Sunday bright and to a mixed greens side salad for $2, which I early at 7 a.m., Knead is the perfect place to recommend — the champagne vinaigrette and grab a quick bite or score some pastries to go. dried fig slices are a nice touch.

The space has charm: fresh sunflowers, mintAnd one last thing: Ladies, be sure to check green walls, big chalkboard menus, white out the glittery bathroom walls. There’s pink picnic tables and light fixtures designed with glitter and a dose of Dolly Parton. Don’t say mixer blades.

It’s been open only two months, but I’ve you haven’t been warned. already been in at least six times and enjoyed Caron Streibich every morsel I’ve gotten there. The pretzel biteclub@folioweekly.com bagel ($5), with cream cheese, arugula tossed facebook.com/folioweeklybitesized SEPTEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27

ASTROLOGY

SQUIRRELS, BIG GULPS, JACKIE CHAN (TWICE!) & WILSON ARIES (March 21-April 19): In the 2000 film Cast Away, Tom Hanks plays an American FedEx executive stranded alone on a remote Pacific island after he survives a plane crash. A few items from the plane wash up on shore, including a volleyball. He draws a face on it and names it “Wilson,” creating a companion who becomes his confi dant for the next four years. Enlist an ally like Wilson next week.

There are deep, messy, beautiful mysteries you need to talk about. The only listener who can draw them out of you in the proper spirit might be a compassionate inanimate object that won’t judge or interrupt.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): As far as I know, there’s been only one battleship in all of history named for a poet. A hundred years ago, the Italian navy manufactured a dreadnought with triple-gun turrets, calling it Dante Alighieri, after the medieval genius who wrote Divine Comedy. Most warships have been more likely to have names like Invincible, Vengeance, Hercules or Colossus. It’s OK if you draw inspiration from the battleship Dante Alighieri in the weeks ahead. You’ll benefit from bringing a lyrical spirit and soulful passion to your expression of the warrior archetype.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): If you go to a convenience store and order a Double Big Gulp drink, be prepared to absorb 40 teaspoons of sugar. What’s an even greater challenge to your body is the sheer amount of fluid you have to digest: 50 ounces.

Fact is, your stomach can’t easily accommodate more than 32 ounces at a time. If you sip the Double Big Gulp very slowly – like for three hours plus – the strain on your system will be less. But after the first half hour, as the drink warms up, its taste will decline. All this should be a useful metaphor next week. Even if you’re sure the stuff you want to introduce into your life is healthier than a Double Big Gulp, don’t get more than you can comfortably hold.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): If you surrender to the passive part of your personality, you’ll be whipped around by mood swings in the days ahead. You’ll hem and haw, snivel and procrastinate, communicate ineptly, and be confused about what you really feel. If, on the other hand, you animate the proactive side, you’re likely to correct sloppy arrangements that kept you off-balance. You’ll heal rifts and have bright ideas on how to get help. It’s possible you strike a blow for justice and equality, and finally get your fair share.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In his 1982 martial arts film Dragon Lord, Jackie Chan experimented with more complex stunts than in his previous films. The choreography was elaborate and intricate. In one famous sequence, he had to do 2,900 takes of a single fight scene to get the footage he wanted. That’s the kind of focused attention and commitment to detail you should have in the weeks ahead, especially if you’re learning new tricks and trying novel approaches.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In 1786, Jacques Balmat and Michel Paccard were the first explorers to reach the top of 15,781-foot Mont Blanc on the French-Italian border. They were hailed as heroes. One observer wrote the ascent was “an astounding achievement of courage and determination, one of the greatest in the annals of mountaineering. It was accomplished by men who were not only on unexplored ground but on a route that all 28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 10-16, 2014

the guides believed impossible.” Yet now, 228 years later, the climb is considered rather easy for anyone reasonably prepared. In a typical year, 20,000 people make the summit. You’re beginning to master a skill that initially requires you to be like Balmat and Paccard, but will soon be easier.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Those who invoke the old metaphor about the caterpillar that transforms into a butterfl y often omit an important detail: the graceful winged creature is helpless and weak when it first wriggles free of its chrysalis. It’s not ready to take up its full destiny. As you prepare for your metamorphosis, remember that. Lay low and be self-protective after you emerge. Don’t do loop-the-loops right away.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): According to my astrological omen analysis, you’re currently the zodiac sign least likely to be clumsy, vulgar, awkward or prone to dumb mistakes. On the other hand, you’re the most likely to derisively accuse others of being the same ways. Resist that temptation.

Next week, it’s in your selfish interests to be especially tactful and diplomatic. Forgive and quietly adjust for others’ mistakes. Don’t call undue attention or make them worse. Build your likeability and fine-tune your support system.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You have cosmic permission to be bigger than life and wilder than sin. You have poetic license to be more wise than clever. Feel free to laugh longer than may seem polite and make no apologies as you spill drinks telling brash stories. This phase of the cycle doesn’t require you to rein yourself in or be a wellbehaved model citizen. It’s best for all concerned if you experiment with benevolent mischief, unpredictable healing and ingenious gambles.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): For 2,000plus years, Chinese astronomers have understood the science of eclipses. Yet as late as the 1800s, sailors in the Chinese navy shot cannonballs toward lunar eclipses, hoping to chase away the dragons they imagined were devouring the moon. There’s a similar discrepancy in your psyche. A fearful part of you has an irrational fantasy that a wiser part knows is a delusion. How can the wiser part gain ascendancy? Stop wasting time and energy.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Squirrels don’t have a great memory of where they bury their nuts. They mean to go back and dig them up later, but they lose track of many. Sometimes trees sprout from those forgotten nuts. It’s conceivable a squirrel may climb a tree it planted years earlier. This is a useful metaphor for the weeks ahead. You’re on the verge of encountering grown-up versions of forgotten seeds sowed once upon a time.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): On a German TV show, martial artist Jackie Chan performed a tough trick. Holding a raw egg in his right hand, he used that hand to smash through three separate sets of four concrete blocks. When he finished, the egg was still intact. Your next task has some resemblances to that. Stay relaxed, protective and tender as you destroy an obstruction. Can you maintain the dual perspective long enough to complete the job?

I think so.

Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

NEWS OF THE WEIRD THEY DIDN’T SEE THIS COMING?

German Rolf Buchholz, who owns the Guinness Book world record for most body piercings (453), said he was upset to be denied entrance into United Arab Emirates in August to fulfill a performance of sorts at Dubai’s Fairmont Hotel.

Buchholz said officials gave no explanation, although in addition to the piercings (example: at least 50 beads stuck to his lips), he’s also implanted horns in his forehead.

And Caius Veiovis, 33, is similarly concerned about his forehead horns. While preparing for trial in Hamden, Massachusetts, in a gruesome 2011 triple murder, he decided to freshen up a bit by removing the spikes from his nostrils, but still needs the judge’s help to warn prospective jurors not to presume guilt from his six horns.

CONTINUING CRISIS

After several contestants in the 2013 world swimming championships in Barcelona, Spain, remarked that the racers in lanes 5 to 8 seemed to swim faster than those in lanes 1 to 4, two researchers investigated further and concluded, in July, that there was a rogue current on the lane-8 side of the pool. In fact, most of the losers swam in lane 1, and the lane 8 swimmers produced a glut of medals, and, wrote the researchers, a current would be “the only cause that we can propose to explain these findings.”

THE NEW NORMAL

In America, TV pundits merely shout at each other, but twice recently in Middle East TV debates, discussants have roughhoused on the air. Journalist Shakir al-Johari was involved both times, on the Jordanian 7 Stars channel in May and on Dubai TV in July. In the first, the studio was wrecked, according to Al-Arabiya news service, and the latter incident was calmed only after al-Johari threw his chair at lawyer Saleh Khrais.

FROM THE FOREIGN PRESS

After police issued a plea for help in July to identify the perpetrators of a porn movie filmed inside an Austrian church and in which actors’ faces were obscured, a serious fan of Austrian porn spoke up, naming the 24-yearold female lead. The nude breasts of the star,

he said, were unmistakably those of “Babsi,” a popular actress, and she was subsequently charged with trespassing in the church.

Wilfred Mashaya told a magistrate in Harare, Zimbabwe, in June that he wanted to divorce his wife because, when they sleep together, “She would not even make any sexual sound” — which was, to him, unbearable. The magistrate took the case under advisement.

NOT OUR FAULT

In July, two of the four fertilizer manufacturers operating in the vicinity of the April 2013 massive explosion and fire in West, Texas, filed motions contesting the city’s lawsuit against them. According to the companies, it was actually the city’s ill-trained first responders and volunteer firefighters who caused many of the injuries.

A MATTER OF SCALE

Police in Cologne, Germany, wrote a bicycleequipment infraction against Bogdan Ionescu in April because his bike had no right-side handlebar brake. But since Ionescu has no right arm, he fought the ticket, and in July received a police apology. And David Rainsford, 44, is contesting the fee charged for a routine eye exam by Specsavers in Cramlington, England.

He wants a discount because he has no right eye. However, Specsavers says Rainsford’s glass eye can pose risks for the good eye and that the area surrounding both eyes must be checked, as well.

LEADING ECONOMIC INDICATORS

Despite all that has transpired in Ukraine this year, the country’s defense industry manufacturers continue to sell military gear to Russia (including “key parts for ship engines, advanced targeting technology for tanks and upkeep for Russia’s heaviest nuclear missiles,” according to an August Washington Post dispatch). The Ukrainian government may be hostile to Russia, but workers at companies such as Motor Sich fear loss of jobs in an already deep recession. Said a Motor Sich spokesman, “We have our own (political) party, the party of Motor Sich.”

Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net

SEPTEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29

HELLO, YOUNG LOVERS (aka ISU Writers): The limit for ISU notices is 40 words ONLY. No messages with more than 40 words will be accepted. Please keep your message short & sweet. Thanks!

HOT COP AT LOGAN’S ROADHOUSE ISU at Logan’s. You were the slightly seasoned gentleman.

You ordered the juicy steak, but I wish I could have ordered yours. Oh, and Momma has a coupon for you! When: Aug. 29.

Where: Logan’s Roadhouse. #1404-0910 BMW RIDER ISU 18 years ago. Your cute dimples, warm smile and sexy moustache won my heart. Interested in a lifetime of fun? If so, let’s par-tay! Happy anniversary, Love, Your Nag. When: May 1994. Where: Famous Amos. #1403-0910 STUNNING BLONDE NURSE Talked; bought you a drink upstairs. We seemed to connect.

You showed me your driver license because I didn’t believe your age. Wish I’d written your name down; really want to talk.

When: Aug. 22. Where: Salt Life St. Augustine. #1402-0827 PURPLE SCRUBS SAN MARCO You took my blood pressure, started asking me some questions, then a young doctor walked in. We started laughing at the tag-team questionnaire. I commented on your long hair. When: Aug. 19. Where: Academic Dermatology. #1401-0827 MR. CHEVY EQUINOX ISU wearing scrubs, driving an Equinox. I wore shorts, tank top; driving a black Chevy Tahoe, heading out of town for work. You asked about the Tahoe, what I did for a living. Love to chat more! When: Aug. 19. Where: Town Center Shell. #1400-0827 MEET FOR BEER You: Handsome guy, Yankee Coffin Co. T-shirt, jeans, behind me at register; our eyes met. Me: Curly blonde, jeans. Said hello as you left on motorcycle with I assume your son. If not single, no reply; you looked nice. When: Aug. 17. Where: European Street Jax Beach. #1398-0827 HOLDING AN UMBRELLA You: Sweet, standing under shelter helping people to cars during a thunderstorm. Me: Redhead desperate for shelter from the storm. You asked me what I did. You work at insurance agency. Call if you’d like to share your umbrella.

When: Aug. 14. Where: Thrasher Horne Center. #1397-0820 RUNNING OUT OF MOONLIGHT ISU: Mavericks acoustic concert. We talked, you put your arm around me during two songs. Your friend said you wash your beard with long-term relationship Head & Shoulders.

You make a cowboy hat look good ;). When: Aug. 13. Where: Mavericks at the Landing. #1396-0820 SUPERCUTE SECURITY GUARD Wanted to talk to you but you were already talking to another female when I was leaving. You: Supercute white security guard. Me: Cute, thin, chocolate-caramel female. Hoping you and I get a chance to talk. When: Aug. 12. Where: Main Library. #1395-0820 NAVY FATIGUES & ME You: A tall gorgeous clean-cut guy in your Navy uniform waiting on your coffee at Starbucks. Me: A shy long-haired Native American princess waiting on her breakfast dessert.

Why aren’t you on the menu? When: Aug. 7. Where: 1604 Margaret St. #1394-0813 WALMART CHECKOUT, ST. AUGUSTINE You: Tall handsome gentleman wearing cowboy boots, jeans & white shirt. On a Monday, we chatted about your pool chlorine and my grapes. Me: Petite, long red hair. New to area, would love to connect. When: Aug. 4. Where: St. Augustine Walmart. #1393-0813

I SAW U Connection Made!

J.B. WITH A PLAIN NAME TAG You have a good smile. I tried to flirt back; maybe next time I see you I can give you my phone number. Me: Redhead in bright lime green workout tank. When: Aug. 4. Where: Panera@Beach/Hodges. #1392-0813

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ANGEL WITH A BOARD You: Black bikini, tan, long hair, carrying surfboard, smiled at me. Me: In a complicated relationship; just wanted to tell you, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve seen in a long time. Thanks for the smile. When: Aug. 6. Where: Jax Beach Pier parking lot. #1391-0813 FLYING IGUANA CLASSY LADY You: Professional-looking classy lady (realtor?) with gold name tag on left jacket lapel at bar’s north end with male and female friends. Me: Silver-headed fox, in booth with buddy behind you at Iguana last Friday. When: July 25.

Where: Flying Iguana. #1390-0806 CLOWNFACE 7/20. You: Sitting with old guy. You called me “Chucklehead” and rode off on a red beach cruiser. Drop the relic and ride into the sunset with me. When: July 20. Where: Atlantic Beach Diner. #1389-0730 DERRICK ROSE LOOK-ALIKE You look soooo good. You: a mixed Derrick Rose look-alike. Me: Female, tall, thin former cashier @ Publix. I hate myself for letting you get away.

Come find me. I wanna be wherever you are! When: July 6.

Where: Publix Southside & Touchton. #1388-0730

I SAW U Connection Made!

AKEL’S BOY I see you a lot. Can we hang out sometime? You: Good-looking, short white dude with tattoo by your eye. Me: Cute, tall thin black female. Let’s do lunch at Akel’s or anywhere?! When: July 16. Where: July 16. #1387-0730 WHO KNEW SCRUBS WERE HOT? You: Looking fine in navy-blue scrubs. Sweet smile assisting doctor at my appointment. Your laugh was so hot. Me: Firsttime patient; I’ll get sick more if it means seeing you. Let’s meet July 26, Carrie Underwood concert Budzone. When: July 17. Where: Doctor’s office. #1386-0723

I SAW U Connection Made!

HOT BAR GUY ISU at the Ritz, Jax Beach. You: Watching basketball game with your friends. White V-neck, tattoos. I was with two friends. I have long blonde hair, wearing black tank top. Made eye contact, never talked. When: May 31. Where: Ritz Bar. #1385-0716 LATE NIGHT NOSH You: Red shirt, brown hair, glasses; looking at your cellphone. Me: Gray shirt, running shorts; reading a book.

Both of us singing to same song. Our eyes met once or twice. Wished you joined me. When: July 9. Where: Regency Steak ’N Shake. #1384-0716 BUSINESS BRUNCH CONNECTION You: 20-something blue-eyed blonde budding professional, great teeth. Me: 74-year-old professional supervisor; looks 20 years younger – bald but burly! I saw your silent amazement when I said we were soulmates. Call; throw professional boundaries to the wind! When: July 2. Where: Mimi’s Café. #1383-0716 SEXY PANHANDLER You: Sweet, sweaty old guy panhandling for spare change on a hot day. Me: Mousey-haired, 30-year-old in gray primered, Bondo’d Hyundai. Your rheumy eyes seemed to be asking me for more than spare change... call me! When: July 4. Where: Corner Kernan & Beach. #1382-0709 STUNNING SLICE SLINGER ISU bouncing around Al’s Pizza. You: Tall blonde bartender serving drinks and slinging slices. Me: Dark, dredded, lurking afar. Next time, come out so I can give you a slice of me! When: June 28. Where: Al’s Pizza, Ponte Vedra. #1381-0709

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Cup, in Calais Librarians, at times One-___ (short film) Catchall category Literary Cossack’s first name 66 English and math, for example 68 Comforting 70 “Hair” hairdos 72 Hot Lips Houlihan, for one ACROSS 73 Legless lizard whose 2005 Oscar winner long tail breaks off Assigned stations easily Catches sight of 79 Martin Luther King Jr. Rico’s intro and others Signal subtly 84 Be part of a getOlympic wreath hitched-quick scheme Colt’s place 85 Calculus pioneer Pacino chants it in 86 Surfing, perhaps “Dog Day Afternoon” 87 Real application, as Eventually opposed to theory One-dose containers 90 First-string player Readily recognized 92 Entebbe’s country What a goner has Cary’s blonde “Blonde 93 Inalienable items 94 Scam, informally Venus” co-star 95 Low-grade liquor Reliable 96 Play an ace?

Like some missiles 97 Stirred Cuts and pastes 98 Arianna Huffington’s Career soldier birthplace Yarn shop frequenters 99 Made a big noise “Hmmm ...”

Eschewed diner food 100 Paris Hilton’s great-grandfather Manipulative types 101 Put in one’s two Runners’ buys cents’ worth Buyer’s problem, 102 Herd member sometimes 103 Elizabeth I’s favorite Popular volleyball venue DOWN Part of a two-word 1 Guilty party term that means 2 Test news “baked earth” 3 Naive Italian ice cream 4 Dutch painter Jan A bad tooth may 5 Like some carriages cause it 6 Race-car rejuvenators Regarding 7 Out performing?

Elite rosters 8 Potato coverings Pull one’s leg 9 Unspoken Adjective for Mary I

Three- and four-letter words are crossword puzzles’ workhorses. With visions of Labor Day still dancing in my head, I thought, maybe it’s time for the 3s and 4s to take a break. And the theme, too.

So: a themeless challenger in which every answer is at least five letters long.

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33 ___ marketing 35 French or Italian bread?

36 Kin of “as you were” 37 Lost-parcel probe 40 Piano practice 41 Boxcar hoppers 42 Star of a film classic that’s set in the desert 43 Piano practice pieces 44 Nymph chaser 45 Tell 46 Elevator pioneer Otis 47 Hoi polloi 48 River frolickers 49 Doldrums kin

Solution to Lounge Singer of the Apes J A MM U N B O T A R Z A H E A R WR I T Y I N S E T A R A C T I F O O L I C U T A R Z E B A T B E V E R E A T A F I R S C L A S O E D WD S

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51 University of Florida player 53 Intersection no-nos, sometimes 54 “Gil Blas” novelist Alain René ___ 58 Copper-zinc alloy 60 Cocky walk 61 They keep locks in place 62 Toss out 67 Is embarrassed, in a way 69 Ousted from office 70 Sparkling 71 Cleaned with string 74 Vivaldi quartet?

75 Encourage 76 Charlie Parker’s instrument 77 Wailed loudly 78 Messed up 79 Medieval village 80 Type of wool 81 Covered, as with metal 82 Lightly colored 83 Bring about 84 Sigh, for example 88 Rosie’s fastener 89 Like Cirque du Soleil stars 91 Plants from which poi is made

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SEPTEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31