Folio Weekly 10/01/14

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CONTENTS //

OCTOBER 1-7, 2014 • VOLUME 28 • NUMBER 27

THE BRIBERY ECONOMY

7

28 MAIL CITIZEN MAMA FIGHTIN’ WORDS 2 MINUTES WITH

5 6 7 8

NEWS COVER STORY OUR PICKS MUSIC

9 10 14 16

THE KNIFE MOVIES MAGIC LANTERNS ARTS

16 22 23 26 28

BITE-SIZED ASTROLOGY I SAW U BACKPAGE

35 36 37 39

Cover Illustration by Dana Fasano

PUBLISHER • Sam Taylor

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EDITORIAL

EDITOR • Jeffrey C. Billman jbillman@folioweekly.com / ext. 115 SENIOR EDITOR • Marlene Dryden mdryden@folioweekly.com / ext. 131 A&E EDITOR • Daniel A. Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com / ext. 128 WRITERS-AT-LARGE Susan Cooper Eastman seastman@folioweekly.com Derek Kinner dkinner@folioweekly.com CARTOONIST • Tom Tomorrow CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Rob Brezsny, Daniel A. Brown, John E. Citrone, Julie Delegal, AG Gancarski, Nicholas Garnett, Claire Goforth, Dan Hudak, Shelton Hull, MaryAnn Johanson, Amanda Long, Heather Lovejoy, Nick McGregor, Cameron Meier, Jeff Meyers, Kara Pound, Merl Reagle, Scott Renshaw, Carley Robinson, Chuck Shepherd, Melody Taylor and Abigail Wright

VIDEOGRAPHER • Doug Lewis

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4 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 1-7, 2014

EDITOR’S NOTE “When you run for governor on a jobs platform,” Rick Scott quipped on Friday, “it’s good to announce jobs.”

And all it took to boost the governor’s reelect, it seems, was a little old-fashioned bribery, using your tax dollars.

Scott — currently presiding over a state unemployment rate higher than the national average, and falling woefully behind his 2010 campaign promise to add 1.7 million new jobs over seven years — was in town to preen for the cameras at a press conference announcing that GE Oil & Gas was locating a plant here, bringing with it 500 jobs.

For the great honor of having this multibillion-dollar corporation grace us with its presence — a multibillion-dollar corporation, it’s worth noting, making its fortune off a fossil fuel industry that is quite literally destroying our planet — the city of Jacksonville agreed to fork over $10 million, the state another $5 million. Together that works out to something like $30,000 per job.

It’s not, in principle, the incentives that bother me, not really. We are, after all, competing with states and cities all over the country, all of which have their own incentive schemes, and over the years, big corporations have learned to play them like a fiddle. Don’t hate the player, hate the game. And of course there will be positive effects: namely, an influx of educated, skilled and decently paid workers into a local economy desperate for them.

What bothers me is that, while we’re padding the coffers of a company with the net worth of a small nation, we’re not doing much of anything to create the kind of quality of life that attracts innovators and entrepreneurs without these incentives.

Consider this: The same City Council that unanimously approved $10 million for GE last month — and last year found $43 million for Shad Khan’s scoreboards, in an effort to boost attendance and alleviate the ever-present threat of the team’s relocation to a more fertile market — last week embraced the status quo in its annual budget.

Sure, they staved off the 2 percent acrossthe-board cuts that Richard Clark and his Finance Committee wanted, and the libraries will stay open and the Victims’ Services Center will continue to operate, but this was, at its core, a plodding-along budget, a budget that not-sopolitely declined Mayor Brown’s invitation to invest in the city’s future in a meaningful way (though Council had a point about the spendbut-don’t-tax mayor trying to have his cake and eat it, too), a budget that looked at the city’s low tax rates and mediocre services, shrugged and said, “Yeah, OK, whatever.” (And never mind Council’s ongoing failure, and Brown’s noxious tepidity, on the human rights ordinance, which even conservative-leaning business groups think is necessary to compete on the world stage, or at least not look like a backwater.)

Then there’s the state, which has systematically underfunded education for years while enslaving itself to a low-wage tourism economy and gutting funding for environmental programs (the governor’s election-year come-to-Jesus tree-hugging notwithstanding), but has no problem throwing your money at rich people if they promise us nice things.

Welcome to life in the bribery economy.

And hey, at least Rick Scott gets a campaign ad out of the deal.

Jeffrey C. Billman twitter/jeffreybillman jbillman@folioweekly.com

MAIL So Orange

Send [Charlie Crist] back to Oompa-Loompa [Editor’s note: Oompa-Loompas are technically beings who come from Loompaland] and pay him minimum wage [Citizen Mama, “Charlie and the Voucher Factory,” Julie Delegal, Sept. 24].

David Walters, via Facebook

So Wrong

There are several points in the column [“Charlie and the Voucher Factory”] that are questionable: 1) The columnist’s opposition to deducting corporate donations to school voucher programs and businesses getting a tax writeoff. This is fair and correct. School choice is now making the public schools look at the service they provide and how to improve the education process. Corporations should not be taxed; there is no such thing as a corporate tax.

Whoever buys their goods and services pays the embedded tax.

2) The failure of Scott to push the Medicaid expansion is more complicated than the column lets on. The federal government would pay 100 percent of the expanded service for only three years. This means that of the $66 billion that the legislature rejects, Florida would be responsible for over $5 billion in the final years.

3) Regarding Crist losing the race as an Independent: He was Republican first; his revelation about “the party not representing the people” only came after losing the GOP primary.

Instead of finishing out his term trying to help Florida’s economy, Crist chose to change parties and run for the same office. This cost Florida its leadership when the economy was at its worst.

4) The $1.3 billion in cuts to education should belong more to Crist than Scott. While Crist was concentrating on becoming a U.S. senator, the state developed a $5.2 billion deficit. Scott ended up the victim of Crist ignoring Florida’s problems.

Bruce A. Fouraker

So Capitalist

The age-old question about why women, like Ray Rice’s new wife, defend and stay with their abusers seems to be on many lips recently. The answer: money, stupid.

As much as many of us hate to admit it in a rabidly capitalistic society like ours, where we pride ourselves on self-reliance and a grossly inadequate social safety net, personal safety takes a back seat to financial security.

Say you’re a woman and you’re being used like punching bag, but you have two little kids and you’re afraid for them, too, so you want to take them with you, but your only option is a minimum-wage job that won’t even pay your rent. You have no choice but to continue to absorb beatings.

So for anyone who is serious about doing something about domestic violence, you have only one choice: Vote for Democrats. They are trying to raise the minimum wage, make college affordable for everyone, strengthen the social safety net and close tax loopholes for the extremely rich in order to pay for it all.

Going to the polls is better than wringing your hands and asking the same stupid question over and over again.

Eric Mongar Sr., via folioweekly.com

So Toxic

Teach for America Founder and Chairman Wendy Kopp recently penned a letter to The Washington Post touting her organization’s effectiveness and slamming critics of her organization. “Some of the criticism” of her organization, she wrote, “is based on misrepresentation and toxic rhetoric.”

If I were thinking about Duval County Public Schools and its “partnership” with Kopp’s organization, I am inclined to agree. TFA has misrepresented the teaching profession by using its own toxic rhetoric that anyone can become a teacher and that it only requires two years to significantly improve student achievement.

According to the Center for Public Education, students are more likely to achieve better results with a teacher who has at least five years of teaching experience.

Just months ago, Dr. Douglas D. Ready, an associate professor of education and public policy at Columbia University, compiled a report of his findings about TFA Jacksonville that clearly shows it misses the mark for its overwhelming teacher turnover rates and evidence that students taught by TFA corps members learn no better than those taught by non-TFA teachers. Here are some of the highlights of the study: • Of the original 55 TFA Jacksonville corps members, none remains teaching in Duval County Public Schools today.

• Only 11 of the 61 TFA teachers hired in 2010 were still teaching in the district last school year.

• TFA membership was the strongest single predictor of early-career attrition from DCPS. • All results suggest that TFA teachers are at least as effective as their non-TFA colleagues.

No adjusted models indicated that TFA students learned less than other students.

Ready’s report clearly shows that criticizing TFA is not misguided, but continuing to fund a revolving door of teachers in and out of already hard-to-staff schools is blatantly an expensive mistake. Our district, for the next three years, will give TFA nearly $2 million (and that is only 20 percent of the total costs) for teacher performance no better than teachers who take the traditional route to the classroom.

An even better opportunity is the district owning its own human capital efforts.

NYC Teacher Fellows is a program designed to recruit teachers for hard-to-staff schools.

Fellows go through The Spring Classroom Apprenticeship, where they co-teach in a highneeds area for 10 weeks. Those fellows hen teach summer school classes while being coached by master teachers. In addition to school-based support throughout the regular school year, professors and staff from local universities are also on hand to observe the fellows and provide direct support. The fellows can also choose from several universities from which they can earn a master’s degree in education.

According to the NYC Teacher Fellows, 47 percent of fellows are recent college graduates, while 53 percent are career changers. An impressive 92 percent complete their first year; 72 percent are still teaching in their third year; and over half remain for five years or more. The program also boasts that 398 of the fellows now serve as principals or administrators.

In short, Duval County should have the capacity to build its own top-notch recruitment model, too. Where it concerns our children who are our neighbors, we, as a local community, should come together and find a solution to lower attrition rates in all of our schools. The Jacksonville Teacher Residency Program is definitely on time as we champion the exit of TFA in Duval County.

Bradford Hall

The writer is a former candidate for the Duval County school board.

If you would like to respond to something that appeared in the pages of Folio Weekly, please send an email with your address and phone number (for verification purposes only) to mail@folioweekly.com.

OCTOBER 1-7, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5

CITIZEN MAMA

THE CURSE OF THE WARRIOR Why John Thrasher ran into tough love at FSU

O

ne of the most powerful Republicans in Florida, State Sen. John Thrasher from St. Augustine, is the new president of Florida State University. He put in his papers and submitted to interviews, and last week, university officials announced his appointment to the post. Still, he got kicked around some in the process.

Thrasher’s qualifications are impressive. He brought a medical school to the university, after all, providing new prestige to the Tallahassee institution. But while his proponents salivate at the possibilities — and money — that President Thrasher will bring, his detractors are no doubt still kicking and screaming.

Why has it been so hard for Thrasher to get any Seminole love? The answers have more to do with the nature of his résumé than his formidable skills.

When you put on war paint, it appears, you can’t ever scrub it off completely. And try as he might, Thrasher retains the mark of the warrior. Evidently, it’s not something we want to see on our executive-types.

A look at the U.S. presidency makes the case: Only two presidents in recent history, John F. Kennedy and Barack Obama, ascended to the top job from a legislative role. While race has certainly played a role in Obama’s embattled tenure, so has partisanship. It’s difficult to go from ideological water-carrier to Supremely Respected Executive.

It’s a truth Thrasher hasn’t escaped. Before formal interviews began, FSU’s Faculty Senate denounced him as an illegitimate contender, citing his lack of academic credentials.

The acrimony isn’t mysterious. At heart, university professors are teachers — and Thrasher declared war on teachers in 2010.

That year, he introduced a bill to tie public school teacher evaluations to student test scores. The measure prompted a veto from then-governor Charlie Crist, but it was passed the next year under Thrasher’s leadership (and with Rick Scott’s signature).

Thrasher has also acted as point man for another kind of presidential contender. Former Florida governor Jeb Bush is considering a 2016 White House bid, and his marquee issue is education reform. He’s relied heavily on Thrasher to deliver votes on testing, teacher accountability and privatization since 2009, when the former representative-turned-lobbyist Thrasher got elected to fill the Senate seat of the late Jim King.

Carrying ideological water for the Republican Party of Florida, though, entails denying that real water is rising around the peninsula. Disavowing

6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 1-7, 2014

climate change is one of the stupider tenets of modern conservatism. That politicized stance drew the derision of a group of FSU graduate students at Thrasher’s open interview event on Sept. 15. The students heckled him when he was responding to a question on climate change, prompting him to scold them and threaten to walk out. The News Service of Florida reported him saying, “If I’m going to get heckled from the front row, by people laughing and making jokes about it, then I’m not going to stay. I don’t think it’s fair to you and me.”

The students quit jeering and Thrasher carried on. The exchange may mark the first of many inevitable battles to win the hearts and minds of academics at Florida State. Can a university president be effective when his professors and students don’t support him?

The de facto leader of the state Republican Party has certainly shown he’s capable of surmounting bigger challenges.

He’s washed away the taint of ethics violations incurred when he lobbied too soon after serving in the Florida House. (He publicly apologized for the violation.) He’s also avoided the stink of the embezzlement scandal that rocked his party and put former Republican Party Chairman Jim Greer in prison. Despite having signed a “never consummated” contract that sought to absolve Greer with a $123,000 severance package from the state GOP, Thrasher came out smelling like a rose.

In fact, he’s credited with restoring the Republican Party of Florida.

In just one year, Thrasher assumed party chairmanship, raised more money than Greer in one-third the time, and oversaw the massacre of Florida Democrats in numerous elections.

One of those elections was the race for governor, won by an upstart from Naples who unexpectedly toppled the party’s chosen candidate, Bill McCollum, in the primary.

Adaptable as ever, Thrasher immediately united the party behind tea-partier Rick Scott, who beat Alex Sink by a hair’s breadth.

The war paint remains on John Thrasher.

And it’s difficult to graft it onto the image of benevolent consensus-builder, or patient leader, or reflective university president.

Will FSU President John Thrasher overcome the curse of the warrior? It’s unlikely that he’ll ever put down his sword.

The fighter still remains.

Julie Delegal mail@folioweekly.com A version of this column originally appeared on Context Florida.

FIGHTIN’ WORDS

WHEN THE DAY IS DUNN

The interview that (briefly) blew up the Trial of the Century of the Week

L

ate last week, I became aware that Richard David Smith III, a former Folio Weekly contributor who has also written for Jacksonville Magazine and other local media outlets, had been excused from the jury pool for the Michael Dunn trial. Interested in knowing more, I queried him via Facebook Messenger about the particulars of the selection process, his impressions of Angela Corey and Dunn, and other things pertinent to the proceedings.

As background, given the publicity surrounding this case, and given that most everyone in Northeast Florida has a fairly well-formed opinion about Dunn’s guilt, I was surprised that the judge denied Dunn’s request for a change of venue. I wondered how the court could possibly find a jury of objective, impartial people to assess the facts.

I’d hoped that my conversation with Smith would allay those fears. That wasn’t the case.

Smith was disqualified from the jury primarily because of his association with this paper, which has criticized Angela Corey on any number of grounds [News, “I’m Mad as Hell and I’m Not Going to Take It Anymore,” Derek Kinner, Aug. 6], even though it’s been several years since he wrote for this publication, and even though he has never, to my knowledge, written word one about 4th Judicial Circuit State Attorney Angela B. Corey. As Smith puts it, Corey expressed “great sensitivity” to “negative, unfair things about [her] in that magazine.” (Editor’s note: So sorry we hurt your feelings, Angela. Honest.)

If the story had stopped there, my blog post about Smith’s experience [The Flog, “An Interview with a Dunn Jury Reject,” Sept. 26] likely would’ve come and gone without notice.

But it didn’t stop there.

Smith recounted the story of Juror No. 4, a “400-pound schoolteacher” who memorably disparaged Corey as follows: “She would have a hard time proving to a court that I am fat; there would still be reasonable doubt.” The juror made the joke in front of others in the jury pool, as well as a bailiff, Smith told me. (In his testimony Saturday morning, Juror No. 4 said he didn’t remember making that particular comment, though he did believe Corey “was unprofessional” during jury selection.)

The blog was posted on Friday afternoon.

By 9 a.m. Saturday morning, a JSO officer was escorting me through the Duval County Courthouse to testify. This occasioned an away-from-the-media discussion of the article,

the questioning of Smith and the juror, and the eventual dismissal of that juror (over the Dunn legal team’s objection that, if Juror No. 4 formed a negative impression of Corey during jury selection, that was Corey’s fault).

At all points in the process, officers of the court, the cops and the attorneys treated me with respect. The only tough question I received was from Dunn’s lawyer in regard to Smith saying that he had qualms about the judicial system in Florida, to which I replied, “Many people are critical of the criminal justice system here in Florida.”

I’ve gotten questions from people outside the courtroom that boiled down to why Smith went to the media instead of the court to voice his concerns about that juror, whom Smith says told him he’d rather be home watching football than serving on the jury. (And who wouldn’t?)

In addition, there was some criticism that by reporting Smith’s remarks, this publication somehow “messed up” the trial.

To which we say: bullshit.

Folio Weekly was not in a position to mess up the trial. Folio Weekly reported on one person’s experience and insights regarding the jury selection process. That’s it.

Michael Dunn has no defenders in the media, including me. (I, after all, published Smith’s quote that Dunn seemed like a “stoic monster.”) Indeed, in the courtroom, I observed Dunn’s seeming lack of affect as he gave me a courtly nod when my testimony wrapped up.

That said, this is America, and every case — even those with the most obvious conclusions — merits a fair trial. If a juror doesn’t respect a lawyer (here, the prosecutor), even if that lack of respect manifests itself in an offhanded joke, it’s worthy of note as soon as possible, not after the fact. (Imagine if we’d run that blog post during jury deliberations, or after a hung jury or not-guilty verdict.)

I expected the story might gum up the works, as it did. I also expect that jury selection will play a role in the eventual appeals. All of this could have been avoided had the trial been moved someplace where the murder of Jordan Davis wasn’t so widely covered and so notorious, a place where members of the jury pool do not have preconceptions about the district attorney. But Corey wanted the trial in Jacksonville; these are the risks she took.

AG Gancarski twitter/aggancarski mail@folioweekly.com

OCTOBER 1-7, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7

2 MINUTES WITH … // DENNIS HO

ADDISON ZAWADA

PROFESSIONAL CYCLIST, RED BULL ATHLETE Folio Weekly: What do you do as a professional cyclist?

Addison Zawada: I race fixed-gear road bikes, which is a singlespeed version of a road bike that doesn’t have a coasting mechanism in the rear wheel, so it’s a direct drive-type bicycle with larger wheels. I started out racing on velodromes like the big ovals that they have in the Olympics; we’ve sorta taken them and started racing them on the street.

What does being a pro-cyclist entail?

Lots of traveling, lots of hours training, big travel schedule. I’m actually headed to Italy in two-and-a-half weeks for an event.

How did you get started?

Just friends. Racing around the neighborhood, just having fun with friends, and I liked it, and I happened to live near a BMX track.

What kinds of events do you compete in?

I race criterium racing, which is a short-circuit race around a track that’s between a half-mile to a mile long, and you race around it for an hour, basically, and try to put in as many laps as possible. There’s also an event in San Francisco called Red Bull Ride & Style, which takes a mash-up of BMX bikes and fixed-gears — you take a fixed-gear bike and put it on a BMX-style course with jumps and turns and all that sort of stuff. That one, you qualify on times and then race head-to-head in the finals.

What’s your most successful event?

Probably the event I’m best known for is called the Red Bull Mini Drome, which is essentially a scaled-down version of a true-size velodrome like you would see in the Olympics, one of the big oval tracks with high-bank turns. So if a regular velodrome is Daytona, this would be Bristol, just a lot smaller and a lot more compact. I’ve won eight of the nine that I’ve raced in and haven’t been beaten by anyone on a track bike yet.

Given all the different types of bicycles there are, why did you choose to ride fixed-gear bikes?

Well, I raced BMX for a long time when I was younger, then I picked up the fixed-gear as sort of a training element for more endurance riding. One of my buddies invited me to a fixed-gear race he was putting on Downtown — it was sort of a checkpoint-by-checkpoint-type race — and I placed fourth in that, so I figured, “Well, I’ll give this a shot and see what happens.” Then I went to Orlando for a mini-drome event and ended up winning that by chance, then traveled to Montreal, Toronto and Vancouver that same year and won those mini-dromes as well. So I said, “Something’s here, so let’s see what happens if we keep 8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 1-7, 2014

rolling with it.”

How did you end up with Red Bull?

I did an event in Charlotte where I met the head marketing director for sports management from Red Bull and he said, “Hey, I really want to ship you out to San Francisco to race this event.” I thought it was a pretty cool opportunity going to San Francisco on his budget, it was an all-expenses-paid trip, the first time anything like that happened for me, and I ended up winning the event on his dime, and that got the ball in motion with Red Bull and essentially becoming a professional athlete.

What does it mean to be a Red Bull athlete?

I had always wanted to be sponsored by Red Bull; it was a dream of mine since I was a kid. If someone’s wearing a Red Bull hat, you pretty much know they’re the best at what they do, because you can’t buy these hats anywhere, it’s only for athletes and they only pick the top three athletes in their discipline in the entire world.

How many different types of bicycles are you good at racing?

The fixed-gear is what I specialize in, fixed-gear bikes are what I’m known for, but I pretty much race all types of bikes throughout the year.

If it’s on two wheels and has a chain and pedals, I pretty much ride it.

Started in BMX, I race road bikes, fixed-gears, mountain bikes, crosscountry and downhill, and last year I picked up a type of cycling called cyclocross, which is essentially taking a road bike, putting knobby tires on it and taking it through the trails.

How many bikes do you own?

At one point I was up to 12; now I’ve got six. They’re all different types. I’ve got a BMX bike, cyclocross bike, a road bike, a cross-country bike and a beach cruiser.

Do you race beach cruisers?

Actually I have — fun races out at the beach, nothing serious. But we’ll do, like, beach cruiser time trials from one point to the other, sometimes we’ll do from, like, Ponte Vedra to Jax Beach; it’s fun.

What kinds of injuries have you sustained?

Lots of broken bones. Multiple collarbones, multiple wrists. Ribs.

They keep me from riding my bike for a couple weeks, but every time it makes me want to jump on my bike even more.

Nothing motorized?

No, no. I thought about doing the motorized thing for a little while, but I hurt myself without a motor; I don’t want to see what a motor would do. dho@folioweekly.com

NEWS The JAG-OFF SOMETHING LIKE PROGRESS

THE POLICE STATE STRIKES BACK

Is the JSO retaliating against a woman who complained about police tactics in her neighborhood?

WEEK 4, JAGS VS. CHARGERS

And so begins the next New Era in Jacksonville Jaguars football, with Blake Bortles getting his first NFL start. The watchword: irrational exuberance. I know of at least one person who benched Aaron Rodgers for Das Wunderkind in fantasy football, in what was an exercise in wish fulfillment writ large. (If that’s a money league, buddy, I want in next year).

The start of the game, despite a Toby Gerhart fumble 12 seconds in, was encouraging. Bortles’ passes were crisper than fresh celery, taking advantage of strong line work in the first couple dozen plays. He had the time to make reads, which resulted in a nine-completion, 83-yard first quarter; also, Denard Robinson looks to be learning the running back position, even taking over some inside runs (which may be preferable to leaving that duty to the motorless Gerhart).

The defense had yet to be exposed — yet.

Small victories, right?

Jags fans sat and waited for the inevitable collapse, but Bortles kept them in the game until the second half. Deep to Allen Hurns, then a TD toss to a dude the Jags just picked up from the Saints practice squad. If it had been up to Bortles and our scrapheap wideouts, the Jags may have won. But the outcome this week was determined by that festering wound we call a pass defense.

The secondary, with or without the concussed Dwayne Gratz, is simply not NFL caliber. Probably, with some coaching and acclimation, they could function reasonably well in the Canadian Football League. Maybe not. The issue, after all, is coverage, and Canadian fields are even bigger, with even more open space.

The second half was ugly, yes, with Keenan Allen looking like J-Smooth in his big game against the Ravens, catching bombs from Chargers QB Philip Rivers.

Despite the obliteration of the third quarter, the Jags were only down 13.

Compare that to the Colts catastrophe or the can of whoop-ass the Washington Racistnames opened on them, and it does feel something like progress. Even the scrum between Andre Branch and King Dunlap of the Chargers showed fire.

During the first two-and-a-half games, if the Jags had been characterized by the title of a William Faulkner novel, they would’ve been As I Lay Dying. Now? The Sound and the Fury. They are overmatched at more positions than not, and they are still finding their identity, but they are improving, and the Bortles pick looks legit — more so than the Luke Joeckel selection, a capital-B Bust like so many other first-round misses.

With the Pittsburgh Steelers coming to town after losing a trap game to Tampa Bay, the Jags will face motivated opposition next week. Will the secondary contain the Steelers’ quick young wideouts? If that happens, and if Bortles continues to improve, the losing streak may end at four, disappointing the Steeler faithful who will fill the stands and pee in the pools.

AG Gancarski twitter/aggancarski mail@folioweekly.com

Jacqueline McMullion Photo by Dennis Ho

T

he large extended McMullion family gathered at their Atlantic Beach place on a recent Sunday evening, Sept. 21, for a cookout — a typical get-together at the old family spot in the Black Pine neighborhood near Mayport. While Jacqueline McMullion was inside the bungalow, the family watched as three Jacksonville Sheriff ’s Office cruisers pulled up to the house.

A week-and-a-half earlier, McMullion had been featured in the pages of this magazine [Cover Story, “Life in a Police State,” Susan Cooper Eastman, Sept. 10] complaining about police tactics in Black Pine. She hadn’t been arrested herself, but as a lifelong resident of the fourblock-wide historically African-American neighborhood (platted in 1921 during segregation as a development for black homeowners) and someone who spent a lot of time in her white wicker chair on that same front porch watching the JSO cruise through her neighborhood like an occupying army, she’d felt compelled to speak out.

She did this even though she feared retaliation. She initially agreed to go on the record with Folio Weekly, but then later had second thoughts. She feared that having her name attached to the story would generate heat — both for her and her family members, many of whom live in the area. She ultimately decided to go forward, reassured by the Southern Christian Leadership Conference that her being out front and public would be protection in itself.

And now the cops were here, three of them, to serve an arrest warrant on the 47-year-old, who is disabled by a heart condition and lives off Social Security disability checks.

Her crime? An unpaid two-year-old citation for driving with a suspended, canceled or revoked license. (The warrant itself was issued in June 2013, but the

police had only bothered to act on it now.)

They had a warrant for her daughter, too, for a ticket she had received when the police staked out the McMullion home during a family funeral in August.

That Sunday evening, with three JSO cruisers at her house and her brother telling her to put on something warm because the cops wanted to talk to her down at the station, McMullion’s fears of retaliation seemed legitimate. What else would have brought the police to her door except to punish her for speaking out?

She refused to come out of the house.

The brother told the cops they needed to talk to her lawyer.

“I was afraid,” McMullion says. “I don’t want to deal with JSO by myself. I’m afraid of JSO.” “Nobody is fooled by what is going on,” says Opio Sokoni, president of the Jacksonville chapter of the SCLC, who organized a community meeting with the JSO in July to talk about police harassment.

“We don’t expect an honest answer when their expectation is to intimidate. We don’t expect an answer when talking to somebody about intimidation. But nobody is fooled by this.”

JSO spokesperson Lauri-Ellen Smith points out that once a warrant is issued, the police are required to serve it, no matter how unimportant or non-violent the charge. She says the JSO asked the Atlantic Beach Police Department, which also patrols Black Pine, to serve the warrant three times, but the ABPD never did.

And yes, Smith says, the cops showed up after Sheriff John Rutherford went on a community walk through Black Pine last month, during which McMullion spoke to him. Afterward, McMullion called that event a “stage show.”

“Let’s face it,” Smith wrote in an email, “had it been done before the walk you’d be saying it was intentional since Mrs.

McMullion wanted to talk to the Sheriff about her concerns.”

The police dispatched three cruisers because they wanted to make sure there was a female officer on hand to search McMullion for weapons, Smith writes.

“That’s why the number of cars may have been more than it normally would be.”

In the end, McMullion wasn’t arrested — an act of mercy, Smith says, after the officers on scene were told by a family member that she was in fragile health, and that he was concerned about the effect the arrest would have on her. “SO THE OFFICERS LEFT,” Smith writes, “after strongly advising that she take care of the matter ASAP. She was not taken to jail.”

This past Sunday, Sept. 28, McMullion spent four hours at the Duval County Jail taking care of the warrant; quashing it required her to pay a $358 bond. She’ll also have to pay for the citation — and she’s now not sure how she’ll pay for her doctor’s bills and medications. That’s why she ignored the citation in the first place.

Jackie’s daughter also tired to take care of her warrant, but the bail bondsmen she approached said it hadn’t been entered in the system yet.

“Nobody is fooled,” says Sokoni. “Here again, you are talking about how to police should operate in a black neighborhood.

This is really what this is all about. They want to play ping-pong about this. Why are they delivering this warrant now?”

Sokoni believes it’s only because McMullion dared to come forward and criticize two JSO officers whom she and others say have been harassing the residents of Black Pine throughout this year.

“The time is up. The time is over when you can go into black neighborhoods and do whatever,” the SCLC’s Sokoni says.

“Those days are over.”

Susan Cooper Eastman seastman@folioweekly.com OCTOBER 1-7, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9

Decades after one of the biggest bands to ever hail from Northeast Florida fell off the pop culture radar, a battle rages on Facebook over its legacy

The

WAR over Molly

Hatchet

by Derek Kinner Illustration by Dana Fasano 10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 1-7, 2014

T

hat first album cover is the one you remember, even 36 years on: a heavily armored horseman, with a horned helmet, shield and bloody ax, sitting atop a supernatural-looking horse on a ledge overlooking Hell itself.

The artist, the venerated Frank Frazetta, called it The Death Dealer. Ever since, this iconic image has been intrinsically linked to the band whose name stretched across the top: Molly Hatchet.

That eponymous record, nine songs in all, was quintessentially Southern rock, quintessentially Jacksonville rock — obviously spawned from the same primordial soup as Lynyrd Skynyrd and .38 Special. But at the same time it was harder, rougher, grittier, unapologetically blue-collar, like if Skynyrd were taken over by hardcore bikers. There were elements of outlaw country melded with blues and hard rock, driven by Danny Joe Brown’s gruff vocals.

Molly Hatchet wasn’t a great record, but it was a good record, good enough to launch the band into the mainstream consciousness, powered by the Skynyrdesque single “Gator Country.”

The great record, the one that sold more than 2 million copies, Flirtin’ With Disaster, came a year later, in 1979, followed by Beatin’ the Odds, another platinum effort, the year after that.

The band quickly climbed from Jacksonville dives to the biggest stages in music. By the mid’80s, however, the hits stopped coming. The albums (save for a Greatest Hits record released in 1990) stopped going platinum, or even gold.

Their singles dropped off the charts. The original members began to go their separate ways, some striking out on their own, others fading into the daze of drugs and booze. Southern rock was elbowed out by hair metal and New Wave and the MTV generation, frozen in time and relegated to classic rock stations.

And yet, some three decades after Molly Hatchet — one of the greatest bands to emerge from the grimy bars and music halls of 1970s Northeast Florida — was last culturally relevant, a war still rages over its legacy, a war spilling out from the ether of the Internet over who is the real Molly Hatchet, so many years later and with almost none of the original members still around, even as the band, or some remnant of it, soldiers on.

It is, in a sense, a war over the embers of a fallen empire, but nonetheless one that has inflamed passions on both sides — those protective of the band’s original members who say this new incarnation is a bastard offshoot unworthy of the name, pitched against those who believe the band now touring and releasing records, led by late-comer guitarist Bobby Ingram, is carrying on a valuable institution that would otherwise have long ago perished — devolving into venomous criticism, accusations of greed and deception, raging enmity, even death threats.

At the root of all this tension lies one of Jacksonville’s enduring rock ’n’ roll mysteries: What the hell happened to Molly Hatchet?

band called Axe. We were waiting for Molly Hatchet to break down so we could set up, passing the time having a beer with guitarist and founder Dave Hlubek. He casually asked where we were playing the next week. Another one of the local dives, one of the Axe guys responded.

I asked where they were playing.

“Daytona.”

“Where in Daytona?”

“The Speedway.”

We almost fell out of our chairs.

We didn’t see them locally again.

THE JOURNEY

GONNA LIVE ’TIL I DIE

I remember vividly the last time I saw the original members of Molly Hatchet at Dino’s on North Main Street. It was 1977, the year before their first record dropped. I was serving as quasi-manager — meaning I occasionally adjusted a couple settings on the mixing board, changed the lighting for different songs and, most importantly, got free beer — for a local Unless otherwise noted, photos used with permision from The “ORIGINAL” Molly Hatchet Group Facebook page.

MOLLY HATCHET, AFTER WINNING AN AWARD IN THE LATE ’70s

T “ he music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There’s also a negative side.”

— Hunter S. Thompson

lights and walked down the aisle.

“We could see this horrible look on his face,” Crump told me recently.

There’d been a plane crash, he told them.

Ronnie was dead.

They grieved for their friend and sponsor, but also for their careers, which suddenly felt endangered. “It killed morale,” Crump says.

Recording with Van Zant “would have been a great thing for the band.”

They needn’t have worried. Two months later they inked a deal with Epic Records — in a McDonald’s on Christmas Eve, no less. Within two years they were a headline act, touring across the nation and overseas, especially in Europe. Their star shined; the drugs and booze and groupies and trappings of rock ’n’ roll excess were abundant.

As a friend of some band members told me: “You watched their success. I lived with Steve Holland for a few months, and he said, ‘If this is success, I don’t want it.’ You observed the drug use and sexual escapades. It was a miniature Sodom and Gomorrah.”

DOWN FROM THE MOUNTAIN

Molly Hatchet had formed a couple of years before that, a mixture of area musicians led

by Hlubek and fellow guitarist/founder Steve Holland. Drummer Bruce Crump, then 18, played a fill-in gig one week, then another, then became full-time. Danny Joe Brown was at the time singing in the local band Rum Creek with guitarist Bobby Ingram. Brown auditioned for Molly Hatchet in 1976; his gravelly voice fit the band’s style just right. The band then hired a third guitarist, Duane Roland, to create the sort of triple threat that worked so well for Skynyrd.

Bassist Banner Thomas rounded them out.

They did the weekly grind with other locals, performing quick-and-dirty sets at places like Dino’s and Zig Zag’s, places that were once the epicenter of the Northeast Florida music scene but have long since disappeared.

But unlike so many of those bands that have been lost to time and memory, Molly Hatchet caught a break. They were cutting tracks at Lynyrd Skynyrd’s studio on Riverside Avenue when Ronnie Van Zant stopped in to listen. He liked what he heard and began working with them, tweaking lyrics and vocals. As time went on, Van Zant grew more and more involved.

He helped hook them up with manager Pat Armstrong, who had briefly co-managed Skynyrd and other big-time acts, and said he wanted to produce their first record. They then landed a booking agent and began opening for the likes of Foreigner, REO Speedwagon and Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band.

They were a juggernaut.

And then came the plane crash.

Crump remembers that day, Oct. 20, 1977, clearly. They’d taken a tour of the Jack Daniel’s Distillery in Lynchburg, Tennessee, and were sleeping on the tour bus en route to their next gig in Atlanta, when Armstrong flipped on the

Two years after Molly Hatchet hit it big, Danny Joe Brown left. Reports at the time said he suffered from chronic diabetes and “other problems.” Today, some band members say they fired him because he was out of control.

Either way, the band replaced him with Jimmy Farrar, and headed off in a different direction, more straight-ahead rock. Brown didn’t stay out of the music world long. Capitalizing on his Molly Hatchet fame and teaming up with former Rum Creek bandmate Bobby Ingram, he founded The Danny Joe Brown Band, which, like Hatchet, signed with Epic and released an eponymous debut record. But this venture wasn’t long-lived. The crowds weren’t what they were for Molly Hatchet.

Molly Hatchet invited Brown to return in 1983; he still had his chops, and Farrar wanted out to spend more time with his family. That same year, bassist Banner Thomas quit.

“I left the band after four years of fame,” he told me in an interview conducted publicly on a Facebook page dedicated to the original Molly Hatchet members. “Why? Because I was on such a big ego-trip that I thought they weren’t good enough for me. It turned out that I had picked a good time to leave, as the band was starting to pass its peak.”

OCTOBER 1-7, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11

DAVE HLUBELK

LEFT TO RIGHT: DAVE HLUBEK, BRUCE CRUMP AND BANNER THOMAS, IN A MORE RECENT PHOTO Photo by Steph and Scott Hamilton

DAVE HLUBEK

Indeed it was. The original members began to drop off one by one. Crump left for a year to pursue his fortunes in California and then play with a band in Canada, though he returned.

In 1987, Hlubek departed to recover from drug addiction, according to Internet reports.

(Hlubek’s son Aaron declined my interview request on his dad’s behalf.)

The band replaced him with Danny Joe Brown’s former bandmate, Ingram. He toured with them in 1987 and played guitar on the 1989 record Lightning Strikes Twice. That record’s aspirational title notwithstanding, the album was poorly received. Sales slumped. In 1990, Molly Hatchet decided to take a year off.

That year, Crump says, turned into two, and then more.

It wasn’t long, however, before a new band began appearing under the Molly Hatchet moniker. This band was led by Ingram and Brown, who purchased temporary rights to the name Molly Hatchet from the band’s manager.

Armstrong, who controlled Molly Hatchet’s trademarks, was concerned about the loss of revenue an extended hiatus would entail.

Ingram and Brown saw an opportunity.

Soon after they took over, Ingram tried to recruit some of the original Molly Hatchet members back into the fold. And they were interested — at least at first, until Ingram told them what their role would be.

“He said, ‘You will be a paid sideman,” Crump says. “I said, ‘Does not that mean I’ll make less money?’ He said yes. It was insulting to me. I hung up the phone immediately.”

Crump says Ingram made the same call to other surviving Hatchet members. All had the same reaction.

“Danny and I, at that point in time, took the risk,” Ingram says. “Danny and I kept the band going. We asked them to come and join the band. It’s nobody’s business what the financial structure was.”

12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 1-7, 2014

BANNER THOMAS

After that, Thomas says, Ingram “started threatening us with lawsuits any time any one of us talked about a reunion.”

That’s when the rancor began.

It’s All Over Now

Ingram’s Molly Hatchet continued to tour, though they didn’t put out any new records.

Brown retired following a stroke in 1995 — he succumbed to complications from that stroke a decade later — leaving Ingram as the band’s lone, loose connection to its glory days. In 2000, Ingram bought the sole licensing rights to the Molly Hatchet name.

Original members and their fans have been in an uproar ever since.

““ You observed the drug use and sexual escapades.

It was a miniature Sodom and Gomorrah.”’’

BRUCE CRUMP

They’ve skewered this new band on the Internet — particularly on a Facebook page called “The ‘ORIGINAL’ MOLLY HATCHET Group,” which stands opposed to Ingram’s “The Official Molly Hatchet Fan Page,” both of which have more than 6,000 members — saying they have nowhere near the talent of the originals. They say Ingram’s Hatchet is cashing in on the brand name. They say this new band is illegitimate because there are no original members. (Founder Dave Hlubek has been listed as a member since 2005, but health problems have prevented him from playing many shows.) And Crump alleged recently that Ingram refuses to tell the truth about “how he has unsuccessfully attempted to insert himself into the history of the band. … If you consider the history, it’s no surprise that [Ingram] has had a vendetta and the only way to assuage that vendetta was to take over the band.”

“It’s not so much the fact that [Ingram] holds the rights to use the name,” Thomas told me, “but rather the way he has conducted himself regarding former members. There’s bad blood on both sides. A lot.”

RESPECT ME IN THE MORNING

Ingram says he doesn’t understand the animosity. After all, he spent his own money, and made key management and production decisions, to keep Molly Hatchet alive when the original members had thrown in the towel.

He did so, he says, not because he’s greedy, but because he loves the band and its music. And though he’s not an original, he did run in the same circles as those guys.

Ingram met Danny Joe Brown in 1975,

when they played together in Rum Creek. They were both teenagers with rock ’n’ roll dreams in their blood. They joined up again when Brown left Molly Hatchet and formed the short-lived Danny Joe Brown Band. Ingram eventually played with Brown again when he joined Molly Hatchet in the late ’80s.

In between, Ingram started his own band, The Bobby Ingram Project (also managed by Armstrong). He was doing fine, Ingram says.

He didn’t need to ride Molly Hatchet’s coattails.

And he certainly didn’t need to lie about his relationship to the band.

Crump’s accusation refers to on-air interviews in which Ingram said he joined the band in 1985 — a lie, his critics contend, intended to exaggerate his role in the Molly Hatchet universe.

Ingram says those comments have been misconstrued. Yes, he said he worked with Molly Hatchet in 1985, but not that he was a member.

He’d been called in to do some background vocals during mixing sessions on the Double Trouble Live record. That’s it.

“I didn’t get paid,” he says. “I got no credit.

I didn’t care. It was more to help out. Pat [Armstrong] and I were friends. They’re going to call me a liar no matter what.”

The next year, after guitarist Duane Roland left, Ingram says Molly Hatchet called and asked him to join. He turned them down.

“I couldn’t work with them,” he says. “I had heard about them, yeah. From what I saw, from my perspective, yeah, there were some internal problems.”

Then Hlubek left. Molly Hatchet called again. This time, he said yes. “A couple of

months later I got a call to take Dave Hlubek’s place,” Ingram says. “I was concerned because they were friends of mine. We’ve all known each other. We all grew up together, and I took the gig.”

In the same way, he frames his acquisition of the rights to Molly Hatchet as a benevolent gesture born of friendship, not a hostile takeover.

Ingram bought the licensing rights in 2000 when Armstrong put them up for sale.

Anybody with the money could have done the same thing, he says, and they might not have cared so much about the Molly Hatchet legacy.

“I was the only one who cared about the band enough to put an exorbitant amount of money to keep the name,” he says. (He declined to disclose how much that amount was.) “But I am glad I was able to acquire it. Everybody had the same chance. I had to jump through hoops.

I gave my life to it for close to 30 years. I have given my heart. This was not a business venture for me. I did it because of my love for the band, because of my love for the music. And I did it because of my endearment to the fans.”

DREAMS I’LL NEVER SEE

““ You know what pisses me off?

These fans think that Ingram is some kind of saint for keeping Molly Hatchet alive.” ’” ’

FALL OF THE PEACEMAKERS

Not all of those fans have reciprocated that endearment.

One recent sample, from the originals’ Facebook page: “You know what pisses me off ?

These fans think that [Ingram] is some kind of saint for keeping Molly Hatchet alive. You think he is doing this for you? And for the good of Molly Hatchet? He is doing it because playing under that name makes him a lot of money.

The name should [have] always belonged to the originals and when they want to play then that should be their decision, whether they take a year off or five years … . What [Ingram] is doing might be legal in the eyes of the law but it is most definitely morally illegal.”

Grow up, get a job playing drums in a band and get off the pity train.”

Crump answered in kind: “Crybaby?

Not even close. All I wanted to do was to get him to tell the truth … . Deserted my fans? We as a band sat down and decided to take a year off. That year came and went, and our manager, seeing his cash cow not working, allowed [Brown] and [Ingram] the opportunity to temporally license the name. It was then that I was offered my job back. … I would be hired as a sideman for less money. What an insult! A band that I helped put on the worldwide stage and I’m relegated to sideman status?”

THE CURRENT MOLLY HATCHET, LED BY BOBBY INGRAM (LEFT) Promotional photo

There are countless others ragging on the “faux Molly Hatchet” and “Booby Ingram,” as they call him.

One day last month, Ingram apparently decided that he’d had enough of being put down by the original members and their fans, and especially Bruce Crump: “Bruce,” he posted in a lengthy screed on the band’s official Facebook page, “you are the biggest crybaby in music history. Get over it. You left the band, deserted your fans, were asked to rejoin the group … and you turned your back on everyone. Now you continue to cry in your own beer and now pathetic Bruce can’t get any national act to even hire you! If you are so good why do you sit at home! I will never have you in Molly Hatchet due to your sorry attitude. … So you, my friend, cut the side-stepping bullshit and tell everyone why you deserted Molly Hatchet. Getting good folks to feel sorry for you is the wrong way to go.

He went on from there, talking about how he’s played with numerous other acts, about his decade-long battle with throat cancer (for which he had surgery while I was reporting this story), about Ingram’s “vendetta” against the band, about how he would detail all of this in a book he says will be published next year.

On Sept. 4, after Crump posted that Ingram had threatened to sue him for using the words Molly Hatchet on the originals’ Facebook page, a fan posted in the comments: “If [Ingram] ever threatens lawsuits again, wish him a nice day and tell him to remember Dimebag.” That was an apparent reference to Dimebag Darrell, the famed Pantera and Damageplan guitarist who was shot dead on stage in 2004.

Ingram took it as a not-so-veiled threat. He told me later that he’d called the cops, and they were investigating.

In 2004, with Ingram’s Molly Hatchet touring all over the country, some original and oldtime members — including Bruce Crump, Duane Roland, Jimmy Farrar, Dave Hlubek and Steve Holland — met at the Holiday Inn in St. Augustine. They were there, Crump says, to form a new band, a band that could stake a claim as the legitimate Molly Hatchet. Because Ingram had the rights to that name, they instead named their new band after one of Hatchet’s biggest hits: Gator Country.

This effort, like The Danny Joe Brown Band so many years before, didn’t really take. The guys had a scheduled photo shoot in Atlanta in 2005, but Hlubek never showed, Crump says.

As it turned out, Ingram had offered him a spot in his Molly Hatchet, and he’d accepted.

“Why do you think [Ingram] made that offer?” Crump recently posted to Facebook.

“Because at that time, he had NO original members in the band! He made several attempts to shut us down, but ultimately the law prevailed.”

The next year, 2006, Roland passed away.

(Like Danny Joe Brown, who had died a year earlier, he was 53.) The band toiled for a few more years, but eventually gave up.

Crump has stayed busy. He currently plays with two Florida bands, White Rhino and China Sky (incidentally, Crump points out, a band Ingram left in 1987 to join Molly Hatchet). He’s also done a lot of session work. He’s focusing on his health, and has promised a fuller airing of his grievances against Ingram in his forthcoming book.

Hlubek, too, has been focused on his health. In an open letter to “Southern Rock Fans” dated Aug. 29, he disputed rumors that Ingram had fired him — he hasn’t played shows because he’s been on medical leave, he wrote — and said he would play on the band’s new record, due out next year, and the subsequent tour. His son Aaron later posted on the originals’ page that his father hadn’t picked one side over the other when he opted to play with Ingram instead of Gator Country. He was just chasing the money: “Dad honestly is going to go to whoever is signing the biggest check, sad but true. It is what it is.”

The new Hatchet record would be only the band’s third studio effort since Ingram acquired the rights, and the first since 2010’s Justice, which, if you’re not a die-hard Hatchet fan, you probably didn’t know existed. But there are plenty of those die-hards still around — not just in Jacksonville, but the world over, especially in Europe.

Ingram takes that as vindication. “I believe I have earned my stripes to be on that stage. And I will continue forward with this band, with new albums, going worldwide. We’re about to play Russia.”

If you’re looking for a happy ending to this story — some hint of magnanimity between the two camps, some bridging of the many differences and a tempering of the mutual disdain — you’ll likely be disappointed. There’s not much of that to go around.

The closest nugget of equanimity you get may be from Aaron Hlubek, who recently posted this on the originals’ page: “I for one want to thank personally all the loyal Hatchet fans, whether new school or old school. This band and the men who created it have been in my life since birth. I hold each of them dear to me, not for what they accomplished, but for who they were and are to my family.

These originals are some of the pioneers of Southern rock; why not just enjoy the music and memories these men gave us?” dkinner@folioweekly.com OCTOBER 1-7, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13

Our Picks Reasons to leave the house this week

WORD CLOUD EMILY DICKINSON LECTURE & READING

The American poet Emily Dickinson is celebrated for her dream-like ruminations on life, death and immortality that border on the mystical.

Dickinson (1830-’86) wrote some 1,800 poems, but only a dozen were published in her lifetime.

Yet her legacy lives on as a guiding influence on myriad contemporary poets and fiction writers.

Marta Werner, Ph.D., professor of English at D’Youville College and co-editor of The Gorgeous Nothings: Emily Dickinson’s Envelope Poems discusses the poet and this new book at 7:30 p.m. Oct. 2 at University of North Florida Gallery of Art, Southside, free.

BEER O’CLOCK OKTOBERFEST

As fall rolls into Northeast Florida, it beckons us to don jaunty caps, pull on those Lederhosen and slam beer – responsibly (wink!). Two Oktoberfest events this week will satisfy even the heartiest desire for the joyful sounds of an oompah band. Traditional German food and beer, live music, contests, and more are featured at First Wednesday Art Walk, 5-9 p.m. Oct. 1 in Downtown Jacksonville, downtownjacksonville.org. Memorial Park morphs into a beer hall with traditional music (including yodeling!), slap-dancing and food trucks. Noon-8 p.m. Oct. 4 at the park, 1620 Riverside Ave., $35 in advance; $40 cash at the gate, memparkjax.org.

COMEDY NICK SWARDSON

LET THERE BE ROCK ORIGINAL MUSIC FESTIVAL

Locals complaining about a lack of live music might need to get their heads examined. A slew of upcoming cool concerts – punk kings The Vibrators, sludge masters Melvins, soul sensation Betty LaVette, songsmith extraordinaire Randy Newman and some dude named Paul McCartney are all rolling through town – means there’s no excuse to stay home and resign yourself to a social mediainduced stupor. The mother of all concerts hits Downtown this weekend with the Jacksonville Original Music Festival, featuring more than 140 bands playing on 17 indoor and outdoor stages in the heart of the city. 1 p.m. Oct. 4, Downtown, $10 advance tickets; $15 at the gate, rain or shine. For a full schedule and band lineup, go to ssa.cc.

Funnyman Nick Swardson may be best known as the roller-skates-wearing gigolo Terry Bernadino on the TV cop comedy hit Reno 911!, and as the star of his own sketch show, Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time. The 37-year-old Minnesota native started doing improv comedy at 16, and onstage he’ll riff on everything from online video games and blockbuster movies to partying and the perils of pot brownies. And he was Jon Heder’s hilarious stalker Hector in Blades of Glory, remember? Swardson is on at 8 p.m. Oct. 2 at The Florida Theatre, Downtown, $41, floridatheatre.com.

ALARRY NOVEL IDEA BAKER AT FLAGLER

Award-winning author and St. Augustine resident Larry Baker’s novels are as colorful as his past.

Baker has owned a drive-in movie theater, was a security guard and held the high honor of being a master-of-ceremonies at a burlesque club. Baker’s singular novels, which include The Flamingo Rising, Athens, America and A Good Man, have been recognized by the Los Angeles Times, the National Book Festival and Iowa Center for the Book as examples of outstanding contemporary fiction. Baker discusses his latest novel, The Education of Nancy Adams, 7 p.m. on Oct. 2 at Flagler College’s Flagler Room, Ponce Hall, St. Augustine, flagler.edu.

14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 1-7, 2014

OLD SCHOOL

KEITH SWEAT

In the late ’80s, R&B sensation Keith Sweat helped create the musical style known as “New Jack Swing.” A blend of hip-hop and soul, this inventive genre helped send Sweat to the top of the charts with hits like “I Want Her” and “(There You Go) Tellin’ Me No Again.” Since then, Sweat has maintained his presence on the music scene with successful collaborations with the likes of L.L. Cool J and Snoop Dogg, and as the popular host of The Keith Sweat Hotel radio show. Keith Sweat, El DeBarge and Howard Hewitt perform 8 p.m. Oct. 3, Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, Downtown, $55-$110.

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A&E // MUSIC

BREAKING THE MOLD W

Freaky theatrical rockers Green Jellÿ give music fans their just desserts

hen a band isn’t available for an interview (aka, doesn’t return numerous emails and Facebook messages), we don’t give up. We get creative. And that’s the story behind this alphabet-driven look behind Green Jellÿ. Originally known as Green Jellö, the band changed its name due to copyright infringement issues with the giant gelatin company. Adding to the confusion, the band still sometimes refers to itself as Green Jellö. Are you with me so far?

According to the band’s Facebook page, hosted by group founder Bill Manspeaker: “Green Jellö is the band I started over 32 years [ago] and I have over 400 band members across America. Green Jellö sold over 2.5 million albums worldwide — grossing over $25 million.” It’s a pretty impressive résumé for a little-known theater rock group that enlists audience members to don large, foam-puppet heads at shows — a sort of Sesame Street on LSD, if you will.

So here you have it, 26 tidbits of interesting information as it pertains to Green Jellÿ, punk rock music and that oh-so-gross jiggly dessert your grandma gave you when your mom had to work late.

A is for Alias. As in the rib-tickling monikers the band members are given, which have included “Jesus Quisp,” “Pippi Rockstocking” and “Keni Logginz.”

B is for Bill Manspeaker. The band’s founder and, apparently, only full-time member, Manspeaker flies-slash-drives around the country enlisting other musicians to play gigs with him.

C is for Celery. One of the many discontinued Jell-O flavors from Kraft Foods. Others include Maple Syrup, Seasoned Tomato, Bubble Gum and Italian Salad.

D is for Duct Tape. According to the band’s Facebook page, this is the group’s one and only interest.

E is for England. According to the above-mentioned source, “Green Jellö still holds the record for the biggest selling debut record in England’s chart history.” (Wikipedia and Susan Boyle beg to differ.)

F is for “Flight Of the Skajaquada,” a Green Jellö tune that you can hear playing in the 1994 cult classic Reality Bites with Ethan Hawke and Winona Ryder.

G is for Grammy Award. Green Jellÿ was nominated for Best Music Video, Long Form at the 38th annual Grammy Awards back in 1996 for the group’s tune, “333.” They lost to Peter Gabriel’s “Sledgehammer.”

H is for Hulk Hogan. One of Manspeaker’s good friends, Hulk sang vocals on the band’s 1995 version of Girlschool and Gary Glitter’s “I’m the Leader of the Gang (I Am!).”

I is for iTunes. Back to the band’s Facebook page. It says, improbably, “From 2010 to 2012, Green Jellö sold over 700,000 songs on iTunes.”

J is for Jello. A brand name belonging to Kraft Foods, properly written as Jell-O, this gelatin dessert has been around since the 1400s.

It’s basically a protein produced from collagen extracted from boiled bones, connective tissues and other animal products.

16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 1-7, 2014

K is for Keenan. As in Maynard James Keenan, one of the original vocalists for Green Jellö who evolved to form prog-metal band Tool.

L is for Lawsuit. Green Jellÿ was sued by three major brands in the 1990s including Kraft Foods, Kellogg Company and Metallica.

M is for Musick to Insult Your Intelligence By. That’s the band’s 2009 release and first studio album since 333 dropped back in 1994.

N is for “Nightmare on Sesame Street.” That’s Green Jellÿ’s third track on 1989’s Triple Live Mother Goose at Budokan. The album wasn’t really recorded live as the title suggests, but in a garage. No Cheap Trick, they.

O is for Opening Bands. This week’s Jack Rabbits show features guests SnOre and Tom Bennett Band.

P is for Puppet Heads. As in the dozen or so large foam puppet heads Manspeaker brings to gigs and coerces audience members to wear while playing his punk rock mayhem.

Q is for Qtopia Hollywood. It’s the now-defunct 20,000-squarefoot rave club Manspeaker opened in Los Angeles.

R is for Ramones. As in one of the major influences of the punk rock movement. Green Jellÿ opened for the innovators back in 1984 at Buffalo State College. The show resulted in equipment belonging to both bands getting pelted by blobs of Jell-O, whipped cream and pudding.

S is for Shane Diesel. She’s the porn star whose video series Shane’s World features Green Jellÿ tunes.

T is for “Three Little Pigs.” That’s a claymation music video and far-reaching heavy metal rendition of the popular children’s tale of the same name that secured Green Jellö worldwide fame in the early 1990s.

U is for Underwear. Don’t be surprised if Manspeaker strips down to his while he’s onstage Thursday night.

V is for Video. As in music video; the (mis)information on its Facebook page claims, “Green Jellö held the record for the most requested video in MTV’s history.”

W is for “World’s Worst Band.” This, Manspeaker has said, was the motivation behind forming Green Jellÿ back in 1981 — to create the “World’s Worst Band.” As Dubya said, “Mission accomplished.”

X is for The X. As in KXRX, a Seattle radio station that played Green Jellÿ’s song “Three Little Pigs” initially as a joke, but the prank ended up being the big break they needed to get airplay.

Y is for YouTube. Green Jellÿ has gotten more than 10 million YouTube views for music videos “Three Little Pigs” and “Bear Song.”

Z is for Zoo Entertainment. That’s the BMG subsidiary Green Jellÿ coaxed into giving the band $50,000 to create a video for Cereal Killer Soundtrack, their 1993 release.

Kara Pound mail@folioweekly.com GREEN JELLŸ with SNORE and TOM BENNETT BAND 8 p.m. Oct. 2 at Jack Rabbits, San Marco, $15

A&E // MUSIC WIDESPREAD PANIC 5 p.m. Oct. 5 St. Augustine Amphitheatre, $39.50-$47.50

GROUP EXCHANGE

Widespread Panic keeps it flowing current with their improv-heavy performances

F

or Widespread Panic, it’s all about the flow.

That’s the term the band’s bass player, Dave Schools, uses to describe the onstage communication and instrumental interplay transmitted among the members of the band that, when it’s right, makes for a legendary improvisation-spiced performance.

“If we have all six people show up and that phenomenon is alive for everyone, it’s going to be one of the best shows of the year,” says Schools. “But it’s hard for all six to show up like that. But there are days when people allow the collective thing to happen, it really happens.

“It’s all the flow,” he explains. “When it’s been really successful, you have to be reminded of what you did after the show’s over. When it happens, it happens and it’s great. When it doesn’t happen, sometimes you sit back and watch someone [else] have the game of their life.”

That someone could be Schools, singer/ guitarist John Bell, drummer Todd Nance, percussionist Domingo “Sunny” Ortiz, keyboardist John “JoJo” Hermann or guitarist Jimmy Herring. Regardless of who it is, Schools says, someone is almost always having a good night when the band hits the stage.

That’s stayed true, even after Widespread Panic took time off in 2012. The band returned to touring last year, and Schools noticed that fans who turned up for the shows were more than ready for some Panic.

“The audience was really glad to have us back,” says Schools. “They would work us to death if they could. If it was down to some sort of concert party marathon, we’re pretty good at it, too. It would be interesting to see who would survive, us or them.”

That loyal audience has had much to do with the continued success of Widespread Panic, which was put together in Athens,

Georgia, in the mid-’80s.

In 1981, Bell and guitarist Michael Houser, who died in 2002, met at the University of Georgia and started working together, playing shows and writing songs. In 1985, Schools joined the duo. The next year, Nance was added to the lineup and Widespread Panic, named for Houser’s panic attacks, was born.

While the group built its career and is still best known for its live performances, Widespread Panic has recorded 11 studio albums in nearly two decades, the most recent of which was 2010’s Dirty Side Down.

“We’ve kind of separated ourselves from the jam band pack in that way,” says Schools of the growing assemblage of festival-happy bands born in their wake. “It’s an overall belief that the live shows are better and the recording process is a different thing. We look at it as totally different. Some of us like being in the studio more than others. It can be a difficult process.”

Live, Schools says, Widespread Panic doesn’t just get up on stage and start playing whatever pops into someone’s mind.

“We have a road map,” he says. “It would be foolish to undertake any kind of journey without some kind of map. Years ago, we didn’t use one. But the audience didn’t seem to mind us huddling together between every song to figure out where we were going to go.”

Schools believes that the band is onstage to take the audience on a kind of musical journey.

“I’m not going to say every step is happy pants. There’s a flow to the show, an arc.

People have paid a lot of money and, a lot of times, come a long way to see us. They deserve to be taken somewhere. We try to take them somewhere different every show.”

L. Kent Wolgamott mail@folioweekly.com OCTOBER 1-7, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17

A&E // MUSIC

SELWYN BIRCHWOOD performs at Mojo Kitchen in Jax Beach on Oct. 3.

CONCERTS THIS WEEK

GHOST OWL 5 p.m. Oct. 1 at 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St. N, Downtown, free admission.

CITIZEN, YOU BLEW IT, HOSTAGE CALM, TRUE LOVE 6:30 p.m. Oct. 1 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, 699-8186, $12-$15.

GYM SHORTS, TIGHT GENES, THE MOLD, TOUCH 8 p.m. Oct. 1 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, 353-6067, $5.

DAVID GRAY 8 p.m. Oct. 1 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $39.50-$59.50.

SPADE McQUADE 6 p.m. Oct. 1, 3 and 8, Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, Downtown, 374-1247.

THE TRAIN WRECKS, BRENT BYRD & THE SUITCASE GYPSIES 8 p.m. Oct. 1 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $8.

HERD OF WATTS, SENTROPOLIS 8 p.m. Oct. 2 at 1904 Music Hall, $10.

GREEN JELLY, SNORE, TOM BENNETT BAND 8 p.m. Oct. 2 at Jack Rabbits, 398-7496, $15.

A COVER SHOW 7 p.m. Oct. 3 at 1904 Music Hall, $10.

AFTER THE BURIAL 8 p.m. Oct. 3 at Underbelly, $12-$15.

DJ VADIM, FORT KNOX FIVE, MATTHEW CONNOR 8 p.m. Oct. 3 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473, $15 advance, $20 at the door.

KEITH SWEAT, EL DEBARGE, HOWARD HEWITT 8 p.m. Oct. 3, T-U Center’s Moran Theater, 300 Water St., Downtown, 633-6110, $55-$110.

SISTER KILL CYCLE 8 p.m. Oct. 3, Club TSI, 333 E. Bay St., Downtown, clubtsilive.blogspot.com.

BEECH STREET BLUES BAND Oct. 3, Sounds on Centre, Fernandina Beach RUSTY SHINE, HIATUS, BETHANY & the TROUBADOURS, MATTEO QUMENTO 8 p.m. Oct. 3 at Jack Rabbits, $8.

JOSH HOWELL & FRIENDS 8 p.m. Oct. 3 at Murray Hill Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., Riverside, 388-7807, $5.

SELWYN BIRCHWOOD 10 p.m. Oct. 3 at Mojo Kitchen, 1500 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 247-6636, $12.

Jacksonville Original Music Festival: 140-plus local and regional bands: A BRILLIANT LIE, PASSERINE, JUPITER GROOVE, ARVID SMITH, BREAD & CIRCUS, BLEEDING IN STEREO, PEREGOLIVE, THE CRAZY DAYSIES, EVAN TAYLOR JONES, THE TRANSFERS, SKYTRAIN, WHO HIT WILLIE, THE CALM, JUNK YARD FLASH, BOO RADLEY, FIFTY FOOT ORDINANCE, BREEZE DAVINCI, A NEW HIGH 1 p.m.-1 a.m.

Oct. 4 at multiple indoor and outdoor stages in Downtown Jacksonville, ssa.cc, $10 advance, $15 at the gate.

BEAU & THE BURNERS, PRONOUNCED (LYNYRD SKYNYRD) THE TRIBUTE, RAWMYST, ONE NITE STAND, FIREWATER TENT REVIVAL, ROAD LESS TRAVELED, JULIE DURDEN, COWBOYS & INDIANS FROM THE FUTURE, CINDY BEAR, JAIME ATKINS Oct. 4 & 5, Mayport Village Fest THE NEW 76ERS, LIS WILLIAMSON, JIM QUINE 7 p.m. Oct. 4, Lohman Auditorium, 9505 Ocean Shore Blvd., Marineland, 794-4163, $15 advance, $20 at the door.

POETRY & MOTION, ADAM COTTON 8 p.m. Oct. 4 at Murray Hill Theatre, $5.

OH! THE HUMANITY, MY FIRST CIRCUS, A NEW DECREE, MADHAUS 8 p.m. Oct. 4 at Jack Rabbits, $8.

WHAT HEART, FUNHOUSE PROJECT, THE STOCKTON, FAZE WAVE 8 p.m. Oct. 4, Freebird Live, 246-2473, $8.

DOUBLE TAP, PRIMITIVE HARD DRIVE 8 p.m. Oct. 4 at Burro Bar, $5.

WIDESPREAD PANIC 5 p.m. Oct. 5, St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 130C A1A S., 209-0367, $39.50-$47.50.

WORTH ROAD, OUTEREDGE, JOHNNY MAINSTREAM & JAMES MICHAEL ANDERSON 8 p.m. Oct. 5 at Jack Rabbits, $8.

KING EDDIE & PILI PILI 4-9 p.m. Oct. 5 on Riverfront Stage, Jacksonville Landing, free.

18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 1-7, 2014

GUT THEM LIKE PIGS, ALL IN, PRIMITIVE HARD DRIVE, DRIVE IMMERSION, DOUBLE TAP 8 p.m. Oct. 5, Burro Bar, $5.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

GOV’T MULE Oct. 9, The Florida Theatre THE RAZORBACKS Oct. 9, The Tavern on 1st Street VX36, BARGAINERS Oct. 9, Burro Bar RICHARD MARX Oct. 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall NOT TONIGHT JOSEPHINE, BARGAINERS, CITY UNDER SIEGE, TREES SETTING FIRES Oct. 9, Jack Rabbits NAOMI SHELTON & THE GOSPEL QUEENS Oct. 10, Ritz Theatre JEFF THOMPSON, GARRETT HARBISON, ON THE AVENUE, LEAH SYKES Oct. 10, Jack Rabbits WORTH ROAD, THE ALARMISTS, SKELETON STRUT, DALTON STANLEY BAND Oct. 10, 1904 Music Hall GARTH BROOKS Oct. 10-12 & 16-18, Veterans Memorial Arena ’68, MODERN ART, CARRY THE WEIGHT, SACK THE CITY Oct. 10, Burro Bar LITTLE MIKE & THE TORNADOS Oct. 10 & 11, Ragtime Tavern SHIVAS, TOMBOI Oct. 11, Underbelly EARTH, WIND & FIRE Oct. 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre TRICKSTER Oct. 11, Mavericks PETER CASE Oct. 11, Mudville Music Room THE DRUIDS Oct. 11, Flying Iguana THE VELDT, CASSIUS CLAYE Oct. 11, Burro Bar THE VIBRATORS, POWERBALL Oct. 12, Jack Rabbits SOKO, SWEET BRONCO, JESSE MONTOYA Oct. 12, Underbelly CAPSIZE, BEING AS AN OCEAN, FIT FOR A KING, GIDEON, WOLVES AT THE GATE Oct. 12, Murray Hill Theatre TREVOR HALL, CAS HALEY Oct. 12, Freebird Live HOME FREE Oct. 14, Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Terry Theater EYES SET TO KILL, SCARE DON’T FEAR, LIKE MONROE, CLAUDE BOURBON Oct. 14, Mudville Music Room PHILL NIBLOCK Oct. 15, Sun-Ray Cinema DR. FAMEUS, LUCKY COSTELLO Oct. 15, 1904 Music Hall FLINTFACE, ALEXIS RHODE Oct. 15, Jack Rabbits WILLY PORTER, BRENT BYRD Oct. 16, Café Eleven GIVERS Oct. 16, Jack Rabbits Magnolia Fest: LYLE LOVETT, BELA FLECK, JASON ISBELL, INDIGO GIRLS, DONNA THE BUFFALO, DR. JOHN, THE WAILERS, JIM LAUDERDALE, THE LEE BOYS, GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE, FLAGSHIP ROMANCE, PARKER URBAN BAND, CHELSEA SADDLER Oct. 16-19, Suwannee Music Park THE ACACIA STRAIN, THE PLOT IN YOU, CANE HILL, DIG DEEP Oct. 17, 1904 Music Hall Amelia Island Jazz Festival: RANDY BRECKER, THE DYNAMIC LES DeMERLE BAND, BONNIE EISELE, TONY MONACO & HIS ALL-STAR SMOKIN’ JAZZ QUARTET, NEXT GENERATION JAZZ BAND Oct. 16-19, Amelia Island UNDERHILL ROSE Oct. 17, Mudville Music Room Blues Fest: MURPHY ESSERY BAND, WAREHOUSE BLUES BAND, BILLY BUCHANAN, AMY HENDRICKSON, CAPT. JACK & THE RHYTHM CRIMINALS, LEE ALLEN BAND, AFTER MIDNIGHT, PATRICK HAGGERTY & MOJO CHILLEN Oct. 17 & 18, St. Benedict the Moor Catholic Church, St. Augustine BOYTOY Oct. 17, Underbelly DISCIPLE, PROJECT 86 Oct. 17, Murray Hill Theatre DAVID NAIL Oct. 17, Mavericks DISCIPLE, PROJECT 86 Oct. 17, Murray Hill Theatre RINGO STARR & HIS ALL STARR BAND Oct. 18, TimesUnion Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater THE ANIMAL IN ME, THE NEARLY DEADS, IT LIVES IT BREATHES, GIVE UP GHOST Oct. 18, Jack Rabbits MOTLEY CRUE, ALICE COOPER Oct. 19, Vets Memorial Arena ZIGGY MARLEY Oct. 19, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BLOCKHEAD, ELAQUENT, MUNSHINE Oct. 19, Underbelly DANIEL AND THE LION, JEREMIAH DALY Oct. 19, Jack Rabbits

A&E // MUSIC THE U.S. AIR FORCE CONCERT BAND & SINGING SERGEANTS Oct. 20, St. Augustine Amphitheatre LOS LONELY BOYS Oct. 21, The Florida Theatre THE NTH POWER, SQUEEDLEPUSS, SAM SANDERS Oct. 21, Freebird Live AUTHORITY ZERO, PRIDELESS, KOUP DE TAT Oct. 21, Jack Rabbits THE DEVIL MAKES THREE, CAVE SINGERS Oct. 22, Freebird Live SECRET KEEPER Oct. 22, Jack Rabbits JUSTIN HAYWARD Oct. 22, The Florida Theatre STRAY FROM THE PATH, COUNTERPARTS, EXPIRE, MY TICKET HOME Oct. 22, 1904 Music Hall IL SOGNO DEL MARINAIO (MIKE WATT), MEMPHIBIANS Oct. 23, Jack Rabbits ANDY McKEE Oct. 23, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall COLTON DIXON Oct. 23, Murray Hill Theatre ANJELAH JOHNSON Oct. 24, The Florida Theatre J. DASH & FRIENDS Oct. 24, The Ritz Theatre FINCH, MAPS & ATLASES, WEATHERBOX Oct. 24, Freebird Live DROWNING POOL, A BREACH OF SILENCE, RED TIDE RISING, MANNA ZEN Oct. 24, Jack Rabbits THIS WILD LIFE Oct. 24, 1904 Music Hall TWIZTID, KUNG FU VAMPIRE, NEUROTIC NOVEMBER, PWD Oct. 24, Underbelly ICED EARTH, REVAMP, AMON AMARTH, SABATON, SKELETONWITCH Oct. 25, Freebird Live PAUL McCARTNEY Oct. 25, Veterans Memorial Arena WORLD GONE, ASKMEIFICARE, DENIED TIL DEATH, PRIDELESS Oct. 25, Jack Rabbits BETTY LAVETTE Oct. 25, The Ritz Theatre MONSTERS OF MUSIC ROCK OPERA Oct. 25, Murray Hill Theatre MARK JOHNSON & EMORY LESTER Oct. 26, Café Eleven RONNIE DOZIER Oct. 26, Club Aqua PEELANDER-Z, THIS LEGEND, FLAG ON FIRE Oct. 28, Jack Rabbits PAINT FUMES Oct. 29, Underbelly THE POLISH AMBASSADOR Oct. 29, Freebird Live MIKE DOUGHTY Oct. 29, Café Eleven RONNIE DOZIER, JASMINE RHEY Oct. 29, The Ritz Theatre Halloween Cover Show: OBN IIIS, GOLDEN PELICANS, BURNT HAIR, RIVERSIDE PARTY GIRLS Oct. 30, Underbelly BILL KIRCHEN, FAUXGRASS, BRYCE ALASTAIR BAND Oct. 30, Jack Rabbits SUPERVILLAINS, THROUGH THE ROOTS Oct. 31, Freebird Live Suwannee Hulaween: THIEVERY CORPORATION, BIG GIGANTIC, BEATS ANTIQUE, THE NEW DEAL, JOE RUSSO’S ALMOST DEAD, GREENSKY BLUEGRASS, FUTURE ROCK, RISING APPALACHIA, THE HEAVY PETS, GREENHOUSE LOUNGE, MICHAEL TRAVIS, JASON HANN, EOTO Oct. 31Nov. 2, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park DAVID COOK, CHRIS WOOD Oct. 31, Jack Rabbits FLORIDA GEORGIA LINE, COLE SWINDELL, THE CADILLAC THREE, CLARE DUNN, JOHN KING, MICHAEL RAY Oct. 31, Jacksonville Shipyards CARL & THE BLACK LUNGS Oct. 31 & Nov. 1, Flying Iguana BAY STREET Oct. 31 & Nov. 1, Ragtime Tavern MAYSA Nov. 1, The Ritz Theatre ANGEL OLSEN, LIONLIMB Nov. 1, Jack Rabbits STEVE POLTZ, DONNY BRAZILE Nov. 1, Café Eleven STURGILL SIMPSON, CRIS JACOBS Nov. 2, Jack Rabbits NEW KINGSTON, I RESOLUTION, MYSTIC DINO & THE KIDS, DJ RAGGAMUFFIN Nov. 2, Freebird Live SELF DEFENSE FAMILY, GOODTIME BOYS Nov. 2, 1904 Music Hall MELVINS, LES BUTCHERETTES Nov. 3, Jack Rabbits PAUL COLLINS BEAT, THE LIFEFORMS Nov. 3, Underbelly 7 SECONDS, THE INTERRUPTERS, POOR RICHARDS Nov. 4, Jack Rabbits CASTING CROWNS Nov. 6, Veterans Memorial Arena CHERYL WHEELER Nov. 6, Café Eleven TONY LUCCA Nov. 6, Jack Rabbits

LIS WILLIAMSON (pictured) performs with THE NEW 76ERS and JIM QUINE on Oct. 4 at The Lohman Auditorium, located in the Whitney Laboratory for Marine Bioscience.

SUSAN BOYLE Nov. 6, Times-Union Center Old City Music Fest: OLD DOMINION, JASON D. WILLIAMS Nov. 7, St. Augustine START MAKING SENSE, GOV CLUB, LAKE DISNEY Nov. 7, Jack Rabbits BLACK LILLIES Nov. 7, Colonial Quarter, St. Augustine GUANTANAMO BAYWATCH Nov. 7, Shanghai Nobby’s Old City Music Fest: JOAN JETT & THE BLACKHEARTS, WILL HOGE Nov. 8, St. Augustine HEART Nov. 8, St. Augustine Amphitheatre RANDY NEWMAN Nov. 9, Flagler College PHILLIP PHILLIPS Nov. 9, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MARY CHAPIN CARPENTER, TIFT MERRITT Nov. 9, The Florida Theatre THE LONE BELLOW Nov. 10, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall TAB BENOIT, DEVON ALLMAN BAND Nov. 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MATISYAHU Nov. 12, The Florida Theatre REVEREND HORTON HEAT, GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE Nov. 12, Jack Rabbits Bear Creek Music & Arts Festival: DUMPSTAPHUNK, UMPHREY’S McGEE, ST. PAUL & THE BROKEN BONES, OTEIL BURBRIDGE, ZACH DEPUTY, MINGO FISHTRAP, THE FRITZ, CATFISH ALLIANCE Nov. 13-16, Suwannee Music Park ROD PICOTT Nov. 13, Mudville Music Room TRIBAL SEEDS, BALLYHOO, GONZO WITH BEYOND I SIGHT Nov. 13, Freebird Live LECRAE Nov. 13, The Florida Theatre SAINTSENECA Nov. 13, Jack Rabbits NONPOINT, GEMINI SYNDROME, ISLANDER, 3 YEARS HOLLOW Nov. 13, 1904 Music Hall O.A.R., ANDY GRAMMER Nov. 14, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MATTHEW & GUNNAR NELSON Nov. 14, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall DIRTY HEADS, ROME Nov. 14, Mavericks THE CURT TOWNE BAND, FIREROAD Nov. 14, Freebird Live CLARENCE CARTER Nov. 14, The Ritz Theatre EX CULT Nov. 14, Underbelly JUSTIN TOWNES EARLE Nov. 15, Colonial Quarters, St. Augustine

SICK OF IT ALL, NEGATIVE APPROACH, RHYTHM OF FEAR Nov. 15, Jack Rabbits MANNHEIM STEAMROLLER CHRISTMAS Nov. 15, TimesUnion Center for the Performing Arts CELTIC THUNDER Nov. 15, The Florida Theatre COURAGE MY LOVE, BUTTONS, EVERSAY Nov. 18, Jack Rabbits JAMES TAYLOR & HIS ALL-STAR BAND: LOU MARINI, WALT FOWLER, LARRY GOLDINGS, LUIS CONTE, STEVE GADD, ANDREA ZONN, KATE MARKOWITZ, ARNOLD McCULLER, DAVID LASLEY, JIMMY JOHNSON, MICHAEL LANDAU Nov. 19, Veterans Memorial Arena ERIC LINDELL Nov. 20, Mojo Kitchen THE WORD ALIVE, COLOR MORALE, OUR LAST NIGHT, THE DEAD RABBITS, MISS FORTUNE Nov. 20, Underbelly TERRY McDERMOTT, MIGGS, RIES BROTHERS Nov. 20, Jack Rabbits MELISSA ETHERIDGE, ALEXANDER CARDINALE Nov. 21, The Florida Theatre THIRD DAY Nov. 21, Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts OTIS CLAY Nov. 22, The Ritz Theatre FLATBUSH ZOMBIES, THE UNDERACHIEVERS Nov. 22, Underbelly TENTH AVENUE NORTH, KB, ROYAL TAILOR Nov. 22, Murray Hill Theatre TWISTED INSANE Nov. 23, Jack Rabbits RELIENT K, BLONDFIRE, FROM INDIAN LAKES Nov. 24, Freebird Live AARON CARTER, BILLY WINFIELD, RAQUEL CABRERA Nov. 25, Jack Rabbits COSBY SWEATER Nov. 29, 1904 Music Hall PRIMER 55, RAZORZ EDGE Nov. 30, Jack Rabbits Big Ticket: FALL OUT BOY, WEEZER, ALT-J, YOUNG THE GIANT, CHEVELLE, NEW POLITICS, JRODDY, BIG DATA, BEAR HANDS, YOUNG RISING SONS, ISLANDER Dec. 5, Metropolitan Park HUNTER HAYES Dec. 5, Veterans Memorial Arena URBAN JAZZ COALITION Dec. 6, The Ritz Theatre JUBILEE RIOTS Dec. 6, Café Eleven QUINTRON & MISS PUSSYCAT, WHITE MYSTERY, BURNT HAIR, THE MOLD Dec. 9, Underbelly DIANA KRALL Dec. 9, Times-Union Center Symphony Hall

PIERCE PETTIS Dec. 11, Mudville Music Room TRANS SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA Dec. 11, Veterans Memorial Arena ALLEN TOUSSAINT Dec. 13, The Ritz Theatre WYNONNA & THE BIG NOISE Dec. 14, The Florida Theatre PETER WHITE, RICK BRAUN, MINDI ABAIR Dec. 16, The Florida Theatre JOE BONAMASSA Dec. 17, The Florida Theatre BOWSER & THE STINGRAYS, HERMAN’S HERMITS & PETER NOONE, GARY PUCKETT & THE UNION GAP Dec. 18, The Florida Theatre BAD SANTA, GRANT PEEPLES Dec. 18, Mudville Music Room TRACE ADKINS Dec. 19, The Florida Theatre A SWAMP RADIO CHRISTMAS Dec. 21, The Florida Theatre DON WILLIAMS Jan. 7, The Florida Theatre ’70s Soul Jam: THE SPINNERS, THE STYLISTICS, THE MAIN INGREDIENT Jan. 8, The Florida Theatre MIRANDA SINGS Jan. 14, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall TEDESCHI TRUCKS BAND Jan. 16, The Florida Theatre THE BOTH (AIMEE MANN, TED LEO) Jan. 16, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CASE Jan. 16, The Ritz Theatre TEDESCHI TRUCKS BAND Jan. 16, The Florida Theatre SANDY HACKETT’S RAT PACK SHOW Jan. 16, Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater DIANE SCHUUR Jan. 17, The Ritz Theatre THE GLENN MILLER ORCHESTRA Jan. 18, FSCJ’s Wilson Center for the Arts KATHLEEN MADIGAN Jan. 22, The Florida Theatre IRIS DEMENT Jan. 23, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ARLO GUTHRIE Jan. 29, The Florida Theatre URSAMINOR, SURVIVING SEPTEMBER, THE HEALING PROCESS, NOCTURNAL STATE OF MIND Jan. 31, Freebird Live TIME JUMPERS & VINCE GILL Feb. 7, The Florida Theatre JOHN HAMMOND Feb. 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MARCUS ROBERTS TRIO Feb. 20, The Florida Theatre DENNIS DeYOUNG & THE MUSIC OF STYX Feb. 21, The Florida Theatre THE MIDTOWN MEN Feb. 26, The Florida Theatre STRINGFEVER March 5, Café Eleven Aura Music & Arts Festival: MOE, THE DISCO BISCUITS, PAPADOSIO, SNARKY PUPPY, THE MAIN SQUEEZE, PIGEONS PLAYING PING PONG, McLOVINS, GHOST OWL March 6-8, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park THREE DOG NIGHT March 10, The Florida Theatre JOHN MELLENCAMP March 15, Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts CYRUS CHESTNUT March 20, The Ritz Theatre JACKIE EVANCHE March 22, The Florida Theatre BRONX WANDERERS March 29, The Florida Theatre JANIS IAN, TOM PAXTON April 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE ORCHESTRA (Former ELO & ELO II members) April 11, The Florida Theatre RAIN April 24, The Florida Theatre CHRIS BOTTI April 30, The Florida Theatre ZZ TOP, JEFF BECK May 9, St. Augustine Amphitheatre

CLUBS AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

DAVID’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, 802 Ash St., 310-6049 John Springer every Tue.-Wed. Aaron Bing 6 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. GREEN TURTLE, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Buck Smith every Thur. Yancy Clegg every Sun. Vinyl Record Nite every Tue. HAMMERHEADS, 2045 S. Fletcher Ave., 491-7783 DJ Refresh 9 p.m. every Sun. THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 491-8999 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

OCTOBER 1-7, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19

A&E // MUSIC AVONDALE, ORTEGA

CASBAH CAFE, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores at 9 p.m. every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free at 9 p.m. every Tue. & Thur. Indie dance at 9 p.m. Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance at 9 p.m. every Fri. Music every Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200 Mark O’Quinn on Oct. 2. Carl & the Black Lungs on Oct. 3. Ryan Campbell on Oct. 4

BEACHES

(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)

BILLY’S BOATHOUSE, 2321 Beach Blvd., 241-9771 Supernatural at 6 p.m. on Oct. 2. Billy Bowers 10 a.m. on Oct. 4

CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 Irish music at 6:30 p.m. every Sun. FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 Bread & Butter at 10 p.m. on Oct. 3. Wasabi Rush at 10 p.m. on Oct. 4. Darren Corlew at 8:30 p.m. on Oct. 5.

Live music every Fri. & Sat. Red Beard & Stinky E at 10 p.m. every Thur.

FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 DJ Vadim, Fort Knox Five, Matthew Connor at 8 p.m. on Oct. 3. What Heart, Funhouse Project, The Stockton, Faze Wave at 8 p.m. on Oct. 4 HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815 Live music at 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. Dan Evans, Spade McQuade at 6 p.m. every Sun. Back From the Brink at 9 p.m. every Mon. LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-2922 Jen Chase Trio on Oct. 3. Dot Wilder on Oct. 4. Live music every Fri. & Sat. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Austin Park on Oct. 3 & 4. Dirty Pete every Wed. Split Tone every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Who Rescued Who every Sun. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., 246-1500 Jazz Night on Oct. 1. S.P.O.R.E. on Oct. 2. Whetherman on Oct. 3.

Blue Muse on Oct. 8 MEZZA RESTAURANT & BAR, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573 Neil Dixon at 6 p.m. every Tue. Gypsies Ginger at 6 p.m. every Wed. Mike Shackelford & Steve Shanholtzer at 6 p.m. every Thur.

MOJO KITCHEN, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636 Selwyn Birchwood at 10 p.m. on Oct. 3 NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE, 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300 Cloud 9 at 7 p.m. on Oct. 1. King Eddie & Pili Pili at 6 p.m. on Oct. 2. Monkey Wrench on Oct. 4. Houston Keen on Oct. 6.

Kevin Ski on Oct. 7 NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 Billy Bowers at 7:30 p.m. on Oct. 3. Neil Dixon at 7:30 p.m. on Oct. 4 PIER CANTINA & SANDBAR, 412 First St. N., 246-6454 Charlie Walker at 3 p.m. on Oct. 5 POE’S TAVERN, 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7637 Live music every Fri. & Sat. RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 Dan Evans on Oct. 1. Fish Out of Water on Oct. 2.

Love Monkey on Oct. 3 & 4. Live music every Thur.-Sun. THE TAVERN ON 1ST, 401 N. First St., 435-4124 The

Razorbacks at 10 p.m. and midnight on Oct. 9 WIPEOUTS GRILL, 1589 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 247-4508 Jaxx or Better at 7:30 p.m. on Oct. 2. Live music every Thur. and Fri.

DOWNTOWN

1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. Ghost Owl at 5 p.m. on Oct. 1. Herd of Watts, Sentropolis at 8 p.m. on Oct. 2. A Cover Show at 7 p.m. on Oct. 3. Open mic jam every Mon. BURRO BAR, 100 E. Adams St., 353-4686 Gym Shorts, Tight Genes, The Mold, Touch at 8 p.m. on Oct. 1. Punk Rock Flea Market on Oct. 3. Primitive Hard Drive, Double Tap at 8 p.m. on Oct. 4. Gut Them Like Pigs, All In, Drive Immersion, Primitive Hard Drive, Double Tap at 8 p.m. on Oct. 5. VX36 on Oct. 9. ’68, Modern Art, Sack the City Oct. 10 CLUB TSI DISCOTHEQUE, 333 E. Bay St. Sister Kill Cycle at 8 p.m. on Oct. 3 FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247 Spade McQuade from 6-9 p.m. on Oct. 1, 3 & 8. Live music at 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Jahmen on Oct. 1. Friday Night Live 8 p.m.-1 a.m. local bands, singers and musicians compete on Riverfront Courtyard Stage on Oct. 3. Matt Sams Band on Oct. 4. Reggae Jammin with King Eddie & Pili Pili at 4 p.m. on Oct. 5 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Roy Luis every Wed. DJ Vinn every Thur. DJ 007 every Fri. Bay Street every Sat. MAVERICKS, Jax Landing, 2 Independent Dr., 356-1110 Joe Buck, Big Tasty every Thur.-Sat. UNDERBELLY, 113 E. Bay St., 699-8186 Citizen, You Blew It, Hostage Calm, True Love at 6:30 p.m. on Oct. 1. After the Burial at 8 p.m. on Oct. 3

FLEMING ISLAND

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999 Megan Dimond at 9 p.m. on Oct. 3. Seven Street Band at 9 p.m. on Oct. 4 WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Danny Black at 5 p.m. on Oct. 5. Open mic 9 p.m. every Thur. Deck music at 5 p.m. every Fri. & Sat., 4:30 p.m. every Sun.

INTRACOASTAL WEST

CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, 645-5162 Bandontherun2011 on Oct. 8. DJ Big Rob every Thur., Sun. & Tue. JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Frank Frangie on Oct. 2. Boogie Freaks on Oct. 3 YOUR PLACE, 13245 Atlantic, 221-9994 Clayton Bush on Oct. 1

MANDARIN, JULINGTON

HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-3040 Retro Kats on Oct. 5. Open mic: Synergy at 8 p.m. every Wed. World’s Most Talented Waitstaff at 9 p.m. every Fri.

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

THE VELDT

AIDAN CONNELL & THE NOONDAY PARADE, OPIATE EYES, DAGGER BEACH, WISE RIVER tix available at ticketfly.com OCTOBER 11

20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 1-7, 2014

WED 10/1

art walk feat: gymshorts, tight genes, the mold, gov club

FRI 10/3

punk rock flea market

SAT 10/4

all in, primitive hard drive, immersion, doubletap

TUE 10/7

lionscape reggae soundsystem

THU 10/9

VX36, bargainers, iron assault, slamosphere, bad vibe, pranayam

FRI 10/10

‘68, modern art, sack the city, carry the weight

TUE 10/14

lionscape reggae soundsystem

THU 10/16

heavy drag

FRI 10/17

adjy, greymarket

SAT 10/18

impurity, neverbaptized

THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells, 272-5959 John Michael every Wed.-Sat. PREVATT’S SPORTS BAR, 2620 Blanding Blvd., 282-1564 Bandontherun2011 on Oct. 3. DJ Tammy at 9 p.m. every Wed. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Old Dixie Highway 10 p.m. on Oct. 3. Rusty Shine at 10 p.m. on Oct. 4.

DJ Corey B every Wed. Live music every Fri. & Sat.

PONTE VEDRA, PALM VALLEY

PUSSER’S GRILLE, 816 A1A N., 280-7766 Live music every Wed.-Sun. TABLE 1, 330 A1A N., Ste. 208, 280-5515 Gary Starling Jazz Band at 7:30 p.m. on Oct. 2. DiCarlo Thompson on Oct. 3. Live music every Thur.-Sun.

A&E // MUSIC

The Razorbacks

Live at Jax Beach, Thursday Oct. 9 Two Shows - 10 PM and Midnight

Aaron Sheeks on Oct. 1. Don’t Call Me Shirley on Oct. 3.

Chuck Nash every Tue. WILD WING CAFE, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Chris Brinkley Oct. 1 WORLD OF BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 551-5929 Split Tone at 9:30 p.m. on Oct. 3. Live music every Fri. & Sat.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

3 LIONS SPORTS PUB & GRILL, 2467 Faye Rd., 647-8625 Dave Bazzell every Thur.

HIGHWAY 17 ROADHOUSE, 850532 U.S. 17, Yulee, 225-9211 Live music most weekends SANDOLLAR, 9716 Heckscher Dr., 251-2449 Karen Perry at 6 p.m. on Oct. 3 THREE LAYERS COFFEEHOUSE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 Open mic every Thur.

FREE ADMISSION

401 1st St . N., Jax Beach DAVID GRAY takes The Florida Theatre stage on Oct. 1.

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

A New Decree, Madhaus at 8 p.m. on Oct. 4. Worth Road, Outeredge, Johnny Mainstream & James Michael Anderson at 8 p.m. on Oct. 5 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Jordyn Stoddard at 7:30 p.m. Oct. 2. Verlon Thompson at 7:30 p.m. on Oct. 3. Songwriters Contest at 7:30 p.m. on Oct. 7

ST. AUGUSTINE

AQUA NIGHTCLUB & LOUNGE, 11000 Beach Blvd., Ste. 21, 334-2122 Rotten Mindz, Ninja Red Psycho, Razorz Edge at 5 p.m. on Oct. 3 COMEDY CLUB, 11000 Beach Blvd., Ste. 8, 646-4277 Fascinating Rhythm Orchestra at 7 p.m. 1st & 3rd Wed. COPPER TAP HOUSE, 13500 Beach Blvd., 647-6595 Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. LATITUDE 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 Be Easy, VJ Fellin on Oct. 2, 3 & 4 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 997-1955 Live music every Thur. & Fri. MY PLACE BAR & GRILL, 9550 Baymeadows, 737-5299

MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., 388-7807 Josh Howell & Friends at 8 p.m. on Oct. 3. Poetry & Motion, Adam Cotton at 8 p.m. on Oct. 4 RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 You Rascal You!, Blue Muse, UNF Jazz Ensemble 2 starting at 10:30 a.m. on Oct. 4 AMICI ITALIAN RESTAURANT, 1915 A1A S., 461-0102 Linda Cole on Oct. 2.

ANN O’MALLEY’S, 23 Orange St., 825-4040 Jesse Cruce at 8:30 p.m. on Oct. 3. Slickwood at 8:30 p.m. on Oct. 4. Open mic with Smokey Joe every Tue. THE CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 Beautiful Bobby Blackmon & the B3 Blues Band at 7 p.m. on Oct. 3.

Billy Buchanan at 2 p.m., The Committee at 7 p.m. on Oct. 4.

Vinny Jacobs at 2 p.m. on Oct. 5 HARRY’S, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765 Billy Bowers at 6 p.m. on Oct. 8 MILL TOP TAVERN & LISTENING ROOM, 19-1/2 St. George St., 829-2329 Nathaniel Good, Todd & Molly Jones, Adam Lee on Oct. 1. Don Oja Dunaway, David Dowling, Aaron Esposito on Oct. 2. Don Oja Dunaway, Donny Brazile, Go Get Gone on Oct. 3. Shane Billette, Aaron Esposito, Go Get Gone on Oct. 4.

Adam Lee on Oct. 5 PIZZALLEY’S CHIANTI ROOM, 60 Charlotte St., 825-4100 Billy Bowers at 4 p.m. on Oct. 7 TEMPO, 16 Cathedral Place, 342-0286 House Cats at 9 p.m.

Oct. 3. Marianne Lerbs at 9 p.m. on Oct. 4. Open mic at 7 p.m. every Wed. Live music every Fri. & Sat. TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Hooch at 9 p.m. on Oct. 3 & 4. Matanzas every Sun.-Thur. Elizabeth Roth at 1 p.m. every Sat.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

INDOCHINE San Marco & Buddha Lounge, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 503-7013 Dance Radio Underground, Sugar & Cream, Black Hoodie, Bass Therapy Sessions from 10 p.m.-mid. Allan GIz-Roc Oteyza, Scott Perry aka TrapNasty and Cry Havoc rotate, mid.-3 a.m. for Fever Saturdays JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 The Train Wrecks, Brent Byrd & the Suitcase Gypsies at 8 p.m. on Oct. 1. Green Jellÿ, SnOre, Tom Bennett Band at 8 p.m. on Oct. 2. Rusty Shine, Hiatus, Bethany & the Troubadours, Matteo Qumento at 8 p.m. Oct. 3. Oh! The Humanity, My First Circus,

SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS

UNDERBELLY WEDNESDAY | SEPTEMBER 24 Senses Fail / No Bragging Rights Knuckle Puck

THURSDAY | SEPTEMBER 25 Open Mic

FRIDAY | SEPTEMBER 26 Robert Goodman’s Birthday Party

WEDNESDAY | OCTOBER 1 Citizen / You Blew It Hostage Calm / True Love

THURSDAY | OCTOBER 2 Open Mic

FRIDAY | OCTOBER 3 After the Burial

SATURDAY | OCTOBER 4 Jax Original Music Fest

SATURDAY | OCTOBER 11 The Shivas

SUNDAY | OCTOBER 12 Soko / Sweet Broncho

SUNDAY | OCTOBER 19 Blockhead / Elaquent / Munshine

THURSDAY | NOVEMBER 20 The Word Alive / The Color Morale Our Last Night / Dead Rabbits Miss Fortune 113 EAST BAY STREET | JACKSONVILLE,FL 32202 UNDERBELLYLIVE.COM

OCTOBER 1-7, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 21

THE KNIFE

October 1, 2014 @ 5-10 p.m. • Self-Guided Tour 14+ Live Music & Performance Venues, 14+ Hot Spots Open After 9 p.m., 55+ Total Stops

#ProstDTJax DON’T MISS: Headquarters @ Hemming Plaza • Grab your beer stein, favorite fraulein and join us for our second annual Oktoberfest @ Art Walk hosted by Kerry Speckman. Enjoy the biergarten block party serving German, seasonal and local brews, plus live oompah-pah music by Dan Witucki and Mein Heimatland Musikanten Band, German-style food from local restaurants. Plus, participate in crowd contests including beer stein holding, yodeling and more.

Main Street Park • Learn more about the Cultural Council’s Spark Grant program as you stroll visit with the 2014 Spark Grant recipients. Enjoy Jenny Hager’s Sculpture Walk Jacksonville, The Jacksonville Zoo and Gardens with animals and artifacts display, and Liz Gibson’s Deformance Art. Plus, listen to the beats of Mal Jones’ The Lyrcist Hour and help create a community mosaic by RouxArt. Southlight Gallery • Celebrate Taylor Harwick’s 60 years of design from 5-9 p.m.

Volunteers in Medicine • New Location – Hosts an open House featuring paintings by co-founder Dottie Dorian and photography by Dr. Jim Burt.

44Monroe Art Studio and Gallery • New Location – Features photographer Katie Grant and visual artist Chrissy Erhayel.

The Art Center Cooperative, Inc. (TAC II) • Features local artists including Steve Miller, Brian Martin, Stephen Bunnell, Meleese Scott, Jenn Mims, Melissa, Amy LaBonte, Garrett Slay, Robert Middleton, Nathan Arkat and Princess Rashid.

E3 Business Group, Inc. • Features local artwork, national recording artist Akia Uwanda, karaoke and “The Art of Doing Business, a free workshop at 6:30 p.m. for aspiring entrepreneurs, artisans, and entertainers.

Azucena Corner Deli • New Location – Features live music and artwork by local artists.

Free parking available. Some venues close at 8 p.m. For more information, visit iloveartwalk.com, or pick up an event map at any participating venue Art Walk night.

FIND US ONLINE

iloveartwalk.com

blogdtjax.com DTJax

SPONSORS

MORE @ ILOVEARTWALK.COM 22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 1-7, 2014

ANATOMY OF A MUSIC REVIEW I

riffs in the first 90 seconds. The result is an n my 25-plus years reviewing local bands’ interesting if somewhat disorienting collection of CDs, I’ve come to the conclusion that parts that may well have made excellent songs by reviewing CDs is a fruitless pursuit. themselves. Grouped in this way, they function (Actually, when I began my career as a music as an overture of sorts, though these themes journalist back in 1987, I was still receiving never reappear throughout the rest of the record. vinyl promo copies, and not in an ironic(In these three sentences, I simultaneously nostalgic-indie-hipster-moustache kind of elevate the confidence of the band by comparing way. But I digress.) Critiquing anything is their work to that of Broadway composers, inherently a subjective process. Reviewing someone’s creative output comes with the added while chipping away at their soft inner core by implying the device leads nowhere.) risk of hurting someone’s feelings, which is Track two, “Take You Away,” begins the same to be understood and respected. Indeed, as a way as “Deep Down,” with three or four opening musician myself, I’ve enjoyed my fair share of themes before getting to the meat of the song. criticism regarding my original material, and These guys might want to consider releasing some of it stung. But that’s part of the game.

LPs rather than EPs, expanding the short-burst That’s not a complete picture of why I think riffage into 10 fully realized songs (suggesting reviewing music is a waste of time. In fact, I new ideas to the band makes the reviewer feel am certain people would rather read a negative superior). “One Man’s War” moves in that review than a positive one. The problem with direction, with a more coherent structure than music reviews is that the subjectivity is so its successors, building on one riff for a solid two personal, one can’t possibly trust it. Unless you are a devoted follower of a particular and trusted minutes, adding layers of melodic and rhythmic complexity. Sible actually sings rather than music critic, you are at the mercy of what is James-Hetfield-growls most of this song. The usually a frustrated, ill-informed and envytwo-minute outro is especially impressive, with plagued musician whose bitterness creeps into John Garren exhibiting his double-bass prowess even the most affectionate musings. and the band locking into a tight, ascending I’ll use this review as a primer on this power-metal groove accented with some nifty phenomenon. The victim: Jacksonville metal quartet New Day. The subject of the review: their time shifts. (I must say, those three sentences are fourth EP, Unearthed. well-structured and largely accurate. Job well As a metal fan since the mid-’70s (here I done, Me!) establish my listening “Martyr,” though cred with a nebulous heavy and catchy, is NEW DAY at Jacksonville Original Music & Art Festival and unsupportable too rappy for my taste, 7 p.m. Oct. 4 at The Landing’s Courtyard Stage, statement of historical and “Other Side” — an Downtown, free, ssa.cc/jax.html authority), I have odd blend of Mötley cultivated a specific Crüe and Pantera — taste in heavy music. It began with KISS, Deep seems a little too campy to be believable. (When Purple and Black Sabbath in the early days, reviewers are running out of space, they will progressed with punk and metal bands like Black often group two or more songs in an unhelpful, Flag, Metallica and Celtic Frost in the ’80s, ambivalent single sentence.) After four and continues most recently with Sleepytime albums, New Day has grounded itself firmly Gorilla Museum and Sunn O))). (Notice the in the crunchy start-stop metal of its moderncombination of both the popular and obscure, day brethren like Godsmack and Disturbed to ensure the respect of a wide variety of metal (nebulous verbiage and a couple of name drops fans.) These days, I prefer my metal dark and to clue the reader in on what the band sounds experimental (again, vague generalizations that like). But this is stuff I normally avoid, in favor I can employ later when tearing up New Day’s of darker, riskier material like John Zorn’s Naked City or the blast-core of Japanese metal tunes), which means I have a hard time finding band Melt Banana (here, again, I invoke my stuff that I like. elevated taste).

New Day’s five-song Unearthed opens convincingly enough with the ominous acousticNew Day performs on Oct. 4 at 7 p.m. on The guitar phrasing of “Deep Down,” which soon Jacksonville Landing’s courtyard stage. New drifts into a crunchy riff and requisite growl by Day releases are available at newdaymetal.com. lead singer Jerry Sible (using the term “requisite” (It always helps to avoid the inevitable postis a snarky way of implying that the technique is review Molotov Cocktail by helping promote the cliché without actually using the word “cliché,” band’s upcoming shows and available product). which itself is a journalism cliché). The band John E. Citrone then runs through four or five disparate metal mail@folioweekly.com

A&E // MOVIES

GRAVE ERRORS

Liam Neeson’s new crime thriller stumbles along into lameness

A

suspense could be a lot chair-grippingly Walk Among the Tombstones opens with better. Immediately after Scudder takes the Liam Neeson gruffly mumbling as he case, he starts investigating something that’s talks to a drug dealer, then going in a tangentially connected, making us wonder: bar for two shots of whiskey and a coffee.

1) What the hell is he doing? and 2) Why did We presume the coffee is black because men he take the case in the first place? It’s not for like Neeson’s Matt Scudder like it that way.

Suddenly the bartender is shot, and Scudder is the money or the glory. There’s no personal vendetta here for him. The fact that we’re never “scuddering” his way down the road, shooting given an explanation for why Scudder takes bad guys as he goes. After he hits one in the the case is a major flaw; without a motive, it’s leg, he walks after the limping fiend, just like Jason or Michael Myers in a horror movie. just a main character determinedly coursing Finally, and naturally, the through a plotline for no bad guy is shot dead. good reason.

A WALK AMONG THE If you’re a fan of Liam The film is riddled TOMBSTONES Neeson as a real badass with stereotypes. The token (Taken, The Grey), there African-American character **@@ Rated R couldn’t be a better start. is T.J. (Brian “Astro” Bradley), Scudder is tough, fearless, a homeless whip-smart has a way with words and is not to be messed teenager who’s ungrateful and, surprisingly, with. Unfortunately, the rest of the movie isn’t likable. The character is superfluous, but his as enthralling as its beginning. presence is welcome. The other minorities are all Eight years after the shooting, it’s 1999, criminals, and the women are helpless victims and Matt Scudder is a retired detective, now who need a man to save them. The main villains working as an unlicensed private eye. Howie are white, but mentally unhinged. Judging solely (Eric Nelsen), a drug addict Matt met in AA, on casting and characters, the movie reflects the asks the sleuth to help his brother Kenny sensibilities of 1950s Hollywood, not 2014 or (Dan Stevens) get revenge on the bad guys even the 21st century. who kidnapped, raped and murdered Kenny’s Yet another sign of mediocrity in A Walk wife. Matt demurs, then accepts — because Among the Tombstones pops up when Scudder if he didn’t, the movie would be about says Y2K is in “six months,” suggesting that something else. it’s some time in June in New York City. In If you haven’t read the Lawrence Block the next scene, there are leaves all over the best-seller on which writer and director Scott ground, it’s overcast and everyone is bundled Frank (The Lookout) based this new fi lm, at up in coats. Having lived in NYC, it struck me this point you’re probably thinking you’re in as November, not June. It’s a small thing, but for a taut mystery-slash-thriller full of twists this misstep in attention to detail is indicative and suspense and intrigue. You’d be wrong on of the film’s more notable flaws, which, sadly, all three counts. are plentiful.

There are no twists, the intrigue is Dan Hudak distracted by the unfocused story, and the mail@folioweekly.com OCTOBER 1-7, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23

A&E // MOVIES

MAGIC TOUCH

The tactile world of The Boxtrolls explodes with imagination

T

that emerges in a culture where there seems to he town of Cheesebridge — the setting for be no way to move up, leaving the inevitability of The Boxtrolls — rises from the water’s edge crap rolling down a very tall hill. like a traffic cone dotted with teetering Yet the greatest pleasures in The Boxtrolls are Victorian buildings. It’s a mad, dizzying accomplished in the way this world is realized construction of spiraling streets and a complete physically. The characters are remarkable absence of right angles, one that — in theory — creations: the whimsically grotesque Boxtrolls could have been created on a computer for any themselves in their name-identifying package animated feature film. But it wasn’t. It exists in clothing, including Eggs’ surrogate father, Fish; three dimensions in the real world. And don’t the snaggle-toothed, pot-bellied Dickensian think for a moment that isn’t part of what makes villainy of Snatcher; the trio of henchmen who The Boxtrolls so thoroughly delightful. assist Snatcher, occasionally wondering if they’re “Animated film” in the 21st century has the good guys. The animators imbue these weird come to be so specifically defined as one little creatures with genuine performances and thing — CGI animation — it’s sometimes hard personality, more than ably assisted by great to remember there are many other ways to vocal work — particularly from Oscar-winner create fantastical worlds on screen. LAIKA’s Kingsley, who prowls deliciously around every stop-motion universes in earlier releases like one of Snatcher’s elongated utterances.

Coraline and ParaNorman were engaging in It’s even more remarkable absorbing the their uniquely palpable quality, but there’s been detail in the sets, from the aboveground world a next-level leap to the work we see in The of Cheesebridge to the cavern where the Boxtrolls. This is world-building in the most Boxtrolls light the “sky” with literal sense of the term. purloined bulbs and craft This is not to slight the THE BOXTROLLS massive machines with rescued narrative in any way. Loosely **** gears, springs and scrap metal. adapted from Alan Snow’s 2005 Rated PG Directors Graham Annable book Here Be Monsters, it tells and Anthony Stacchi move the tale of the titular creatures, their characters around those reclusive scavengers who live sets with a precision that indicates the value of beneath the surface world in the heart of every micro-millimeter motion. Filmmakers Cheesebridge’s pointy mountain. Yet they’re choreographing live-action set pieces would do believed to steal babies and eat humans — a well to take a few lessons from The Boxtrolls on story given some credence by the disappearance how to take advantage of the space in which of one infant 10 years earlier. The “Boxtroll action is occurring, and the value of knowing exterminator,” Archibald Snatcher (voiced by the arc of a sequence before you start trying to Ben Kingsley), is trying to maximize that fear find it in the editing room. in order to move up the Cheesebridge hierarchy There’s a demented side to The Boxtrolls that’s into the world of the “white hats,” even as the bound to be a little off-putting for some viewers, now-10-year-old Boxtroll-raised human boy, whether it’s the Boxtrolls’ gleeful bug-eating or called Eggs (Isaac Hempstead Wright), begins to wonder if he may belong to a different world. the unfortunate fate of some of the characters.

The screenplay adaptation by Irena Brignull At times, it feels like an Edward Gorey version of and Adam Pava does a fine job of establishing one of those vintage Rankin/Bass stop-motion the stratified society literally represented by Christmas specials, with a few wickedly witty Cheesebridge’s conical structure. The town’s selfverbal asides, like the incongruous chant of one of Snatcher’s henchmen when a mob gets absorbed, cheese-nibbling, white-hat-wearing worked up. But there’s just so much imagination oligarchy — led by Lord Portley-Rind (Jared in every frame, it’s hard not to feel the joy of its Harris), whose neglected daughter Winnie creation. Maybe something special happens to a (Elle Fanning) winds up befriending Eggs — provides the perfect launching pad for Snatcher’s movie’s world when someone has held it in the palm of his hand. disgruntled sense of entitlement. While The Boxtrolls never pushes the point too hard, there’s Scott Renshaw an effective undercurrent of the scapegoating mail@folioweekly.com 24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 1-7, 2014

OCTOBER 1-7, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25

A&E // MOVIES

MAGIC LANTERNS

FAITH IN FILM

The enormous number of new DVD releases every week is mind-numbing, particularly since so many of them are the direct-to-video type, like A Dangerous Man (the latest drivel from Steven Seagal). Usually I’m not in the least tempted by a title I’ve never heard of, but last week I made an exception, solely because I recognized the name of the director. The movie is The Sacrament (2013). The writer-director is Ti West, probably not familiar to many moviegoers, but a man whose prior efforts were original enough to pique my interest.

It’s not easy to be original in the horror genre, but West pulled it off with The House of the Devil (2009) and The Innkeepers (2011).

In the strictest sense, though, The Sacrament isn’t horror. It’s not about monsters, demons or slashers, even though it deals tangentially (as the title suggests) with the supernatural in terms of religious mania. The plot is loosely but pointedly based on the infamous Jonestown Massacre of 1978 when, under the aegis of the charismatic Jim Jones, more than 900 people committed suicide by drinking cyanide-laced Flavor-Aid. West’s film follows a three-man television crew that goes to investigate the goings-on at Eden Parish somewhere south of the U.S., home to a cultish religious group headed by The Father (Gene Jones). Ostensibly trying to contact a sister of one of the crew members, the three men also hope to get a TV segment out of their efforts. They end up getting a lot more than they bargained for, as events quickly spiral into the same vortex of violence that marked the real debacle, which included the murders of a U.S. congressman and members of his entourage at a nearby airport.

While there’s nothing terribly new in his approach, including the “documentary” style of handheld camera, West still elicits an especially riveting performance from Gene Jones as the paternal head of the doomed parish. With a steadily increasing sense of dread, his luckless crew, along with viewers, is skillfully propelled on an odyssey into a real heart of darkness, all the more disturbing because of its counterpart in real life.

Reflecting on Jim Jones by way of his fictional counterpart in The Sacrament, I was reminded of a movie I first saw nearly 25 years ago, also about religious mania and cults but even better than The Sacrament, and considerably odder. The Rapture (1991) starred Mimi Rogers (the first Mrs. Tom Cruise) in her best role ever as jaded, amoral telephone operator Sharon, who discovers Jesus and a small group of believers who are convinced that the Rapture is at hand. Costarring David Duchovny (two years before The X-Files), The Rapture is truly one-of-akind, not to be confused with the current crop of faith-based fi lms or seen as a critique of religious faith. Featuring some fairly graphic sex and occasional violence, the movie defies expectations all along the way.

The first of only two films written and directed by Michael Tolkin (Oscar-nominated for writing Robert Altman’s The Player), The Rapture focuses not so much on the question of religious truth, but on a sympathetic but ultimately tragic character forced to choose between principle and a very real salvation — or not.

Not a great film (budgetary constraints hamper the conclusion) but still an extremely curious one (making it better than most), with excellent performances from the leads, The Rapture is as controversial today as it was when first released. And well worth another look.

Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com 26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 1-7, 2014

A malevolent doll leads to a home invasion by a satanic cult in John R. Leonetti’s Annabelle.

**** ***@ **@@ *@@@

FILM RATINGS

ROBIN WILLIAMS ROBIN TROWER ROBIN HOOD ROBIN THICKE

SCREENINGS AROUND TOWN

GONE WITH THE WIND In 1939, this epic Civil War drama won a Best Picture Oscar and Hattie McDaniel won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress – the first African-American to nab an Academy Award – and it’s been rereleased several times since then.

To mark the iconic film’s 75th anniversary, Fathom Events is screening it in its original 1:37 aspect ratio for the first time since its initial re-release in 1947. Costarring Vivian Leigh, Clark Gable, Olivia De Havilland and Leslie Howard, it’s being shown at 2 and 7 p.m. on Oct. 1 at Cinemark Tinseltown USA, 4535 Southside Blvd., Jacksonville and at AMC Orange Park 24, 1910 Wells Rd., Orange Park. Call theaters for specific dates and times. fathomevents.com.

THUNDERCLOUD This surf movie is about legendary Cloudbreak, a wave out of Fiji that was off-limits to intrepid boardriders since the ’80s that swelled during the Volcom Fiji Pro, a contest at Tavarua Island in June 2012. Directed, produced, filmed and edited by Talon Clemow, the film costars Kelly Slater, Mark Healey, Shane Dorian, Reef McIntosh, Greg Long, Joel Parkinson, Laurie Towner, Grant “Twiggy” Baker, Dave Wassal, Mick Fanning, Makua Rothman, and Ryan Hipwood.

It screens at 7 p.m. on Oct. 2 at Sun-Ray Cinema, 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com.

FROM HERE TO ETERNITY THE MUSICAL Tim Rice adapted James Jones’ 1951 classic World War II novel set in the South Pacific into a musical. Don’t worry – it’s before Pearl Harbor, so it’s not really in bad taste.

It screens locally at 7:30 p.m. Oct. 2, 12:55 p.m. Oct. 5 and 7:30 p.m. Oct. 9 at Regency Square AMC, Tinseltown Cinemark, Avenues Regal and Orange Park AMC; call theaters for specific times and dates.

SUN-RAY CINEMA My Old Lady, The Skeleton Twins, Tusk and A Most Wanted Man are currently screening at Sun-Ray Cinema, 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. Thundercloud is screened Oct. 2. Gone Girl starts Oct. 3.

VIKINGS FROM THE BRITISH MUSEUM This documentary provides an inside look at the Museum’s first major exhibition on the Vikings in more than 30 years, focusing on the core period of the Viking Age, from the late 8th to the early 11th century. It’s screened at 7 p.m. on Oct. 7 at AMC Regency Square, 9451 Regency Square Blvd., Cinemark Tinseltown, 4535 Southside Blvd., and Regal Avenues, 9525 Philips Highway, fathomevents.com.

LATITUDE 360 MOVIES Maleficent and Transformers: Age of Extinction screen at Latitude 360’s CineGrille Theater, 10370 Philips Hwy., Southside, 365-5555.

WGHF IMAX THEATER The Golf Festival screens golf-centric movies Seven Days in Utopia, The Greatest Game Ever Played, The Legend of Bagger Vance, Happy Gilmore, and Caddyshack starting at 10 a.m. on Oct. 4. The Maze Runner, Island of Lemurs Madagascar 3D, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Hubble 3D, Under the Sea 3D, Journey to the South Pacific: An IMAX 3D Experience, and We The People are currently screening at World Golf Village Hall of Fame IMAX Theater, 1 World Golf Place, St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com.

NOW SHOWING

ANNABELLE Rated R • Opens Oct. 3 One of the highlights of my movie-going career was attending a midnight screening of Bride of Chucky that was attended by a splendid array of thrill-seeking reprobates.

My favorites were the family of four at the very head of the line, who enthusiastically informed the ticket-taker they’d spent the night before re-watching all the previous Chucky movies, “to catch up.” (To CATCH UP.) Maybe someday, some equally dedicated clan will undertake a similar marathon to reacquaint themselves with the adventures of Annabelle, the possessed children’s doll now being spun off from the sleeper horror hit The Conjuring into her very own prequel vehicle. Then again, maybe I shouldn’t get my hopes up: Doesn’t the Bible say that man will only receive one Chucky per generation? — Steve Schneider AS ABOVE, SO BELOW Rated R Proving that the catchy phrase “M. Night Shyamalan protégé” can be more than an onscreen title in a Key & Peele sketch, director John Erick Dowdle (2010’s Devil) trains his camera on the catacombs beneath Paris, where buried remains of millions of people give rise to unspeakable evil. Not to be confused with 2007’s Catacombs, which trained its camera on the catacombs beneath Paris to show that buried remains of millions of people had given rise to unspeakable evil. That one was made by some nobody, not the chosen inheritor to the mantle of Lady in the Water. Seriously, it’s like Hollywood had a Sorting Hat for hacks or something. — S.S. ATLAS SHRUGGED PART III: WHO IS JOHN GALT? Rated PG-13 Director James Manera offers the third installment in his drama/mystery/sci-fi Atlas Shrugged series, which doesn’t seem to have much to do with ol’ hardass Ayn Rand’s writings. Except that part of the official site storyline summary, where it says “He swore by his life.” That’s part of the oath of pure selfishness, which we committed to memory in 11th grade, when it was soooo cool. Anywho … this movie costars Kristoffer Polaha as John Galt, as well as Laura Regan, Rob Morrow and pop-ups from Ron Paul, Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity. — Marlene Dryden THE BOXTROLLS **** Rated PG Reviewed in this issue.

DAAWAT-E-ISHQ Not Rated This Bollywood comedy-drama costars Aditya Roy Kapoor, Parineeti Chopra and Anupam Kher. In Hindi.

DOLPHIN TALE 2 Rated PG There’s a really great scene in that teen angst classic American Graffiti in which Charles Martin Smith’s Toad and Candy Clark’s Debbie think they’re going to witness a backwoods atrocity. Smith’s horrified reaction – “I don’t WANNA see it” – later became my personal mantra when confronted with the trailer to one sure-to-be movie misfire after another. (“Blood Diamond? I don’t WANNA see it!”)

Enough about me; what’s Charlie Martin Smith up to these days? Well, he’s now the sort of “working director” who not only has to make family pictures about kindly humans who help endangered sea creatures, he then has to shoot their cash-grab sequels as well. Guess which American Graffiti quotation best captures my feelings about the prospect of being exposed to Dolphin Tale 2. You got it – It’s “Look, creep, you want a knuckle sandwich?” — S.S. THE DROP Rated R Still trying to figure out if we’ve seen Philip Seymour Hoffman’s last movie, or if he’s going to keep appearing posthumously with a frequency my working-artist friends would envy. One thing’s sure: We’ve seen the absolute last of James Gandolfini, whose The Drop – an adaptation of Dennis Lehane’s short story Animal Rescue – is his final acting role. Then again, there’s Criminal Justice, an upcoming HBO miniseries for which Gandolfini shot a pilot.

If we ever want to see that buried document, we should probably make nice with the kind folks at 4chan – I hear they’re great at liberating that kind of stuff. — S.S. THE EQUALIZER Rated R Back in the late ’80s, I had a buddy who was heavily into the CBS grayhead-revenge series The Equalizer; when his metal band released its first single, he even cited the show as “inspiration” in the liner notes. Now it’s 2014, Edward Woodward has become Denzel Washington, and I don’t wanna THINK about what kind of indie music this pseudoremake might spark. A plot seemingly lifted wholesale from Washington’s Man on Fire (not to mention The Professional, last month’s The November Man, and probably the stock footage you get when you install iMovie) indicates that director Antoine Fuqua isn’t counting on diehards like my old pal for anything more than a few bucks’ worth of first-weekend insurance. I bet the Matlock movie will suck, too. — S.S. FIELD OF LOST SHOES Rated PG-13 This drama, based on historical fact, is about a group of boys from the Virginia Military Institute who were forced into battle during the Civil War. Costars Lauren Holly, Jason Isaacs and Tom Skerritt as Gen. Ulysses S. Grant.

THE GIVER Rated PG-13 Here’s one to dither over on Throwback Thursday: Plans

A&E // MOVIES to turn the dystopian YA hit The Giver into a movie were first hatched way back in 1994. Not only did half the Expendables still have a sperm count back then, but Richard Linklater had just begun to grow Ellar Coltrane in a petri dish! Now the wait is over, and we can see what kind of work Walden Media has done in adapting Lois Lowry’s oh-so-subtle tale of a conformist society living under the edict of “The Sameness.” Personally, I thought the kids in The Wackness seemed to be having a better time, but I question how committed to “youth concerns” this movie is anyway, since lead character Jonas was 12 in the book but is played onscreen by 25-year-old Brenton Thwaites. Then again, everybody in the source novel of Logan’s Run died at 21 instead of 30, and Michael York gotta eat. — S.S. GONE GIRL Rated R • Opens Oct. 3 Ben Affleck plays Nick Dunne, a husband who becomes a suspect in the disappearance of his wife Amy (Rosamund Pike), in a story adapted by Gillian Flynn from her own novel. Director David Fincher should be on comfortably discomfiting ground, while star Affleck enjoys the creative freedom of playing at least one role that won’t be debated endlessly on your nephew’s podcast. Co-stars Neil Patrick Harris, Tyler Perry and Sela Ward. — S.S. THE GOOD LIE Rated PG-13 • Opens Oct. 3 In the latest bit of socially conscious drama from Monsieur Lazhar director Philippe Falardeau, Reese Witherspoon helps rescue the Lost Boys displaced by the Sudanese civil war. Her novel approach: Getting snockered and bellowing “You’re about to find out who I am!” until the government lets her have her way. — S.S. GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY Rated PG-13 As I write this, the San Diego Comic-Con is just getting underway, and I’m bracing myself for all sorts of P.R. fog about the future of comics on film, and how DC Entertainment is going to start giving Marvel Studios a run for its money any minute now. So as a reality check, let me just point this out: “Winning” is when you can wring the most anticipated movie of the summer out of a property so obscure even the editors of The Comic Book Price Guide have to look it up. By Christmas, Rocket Raccoon may be firmly entrenched as a star of the Disney-acquisition firmament, making “possible Star Wars crossover” the hot ridiculous rumor du jour. DC’s entire release slate for the next five years will have shifted three more times, just because Olaf the Snowman blew on it really hard. God, how I love a photo finish. — S.S. IF I STAY **@@ Rated PG-13 Oh, goodie; mortality porn. Chloë Grace Moretz is plunged into a coma and has one day’s worth of out-of-body flitting around family and friends to decide if she wants to rejoin the land of the living. (Hey, do you think she knows how Mad Men turns out?) The only reason I’d go near this apparent hunk of Kleenex bait is that it was directed by R.J. Cutler, who worked on the excellent reality series American High with the late Jonathan Mednick. Miss ya, Jonathan!

And tell Chloë that nobody down here blames her for Dark Shadows. — S.S.

LOVE IS STRANGE Rated R In this new drama, love is indeed strange and slightly comically complicated. John Lithgow and Alfred Molina star as newlyweds Ben and George, respectively, separated by logistics. Ben is fired from his teaching position and the resulting loss of income forces the two to move – each going to a different locale, where of course they learn new aspects of others and, consequently, each other and themselves. Co-stars Marisa Tomei. — M.D. THE MAZE RUNNER Rated PG-13 In this week’s bit of YA-derived dystopia, a bunch of teen himbos with no memory struggle to escape a mysterious prison. Spotting the symbolism yet? The arrival of an actual girl changes everything, while raising my hopes that the story can ultimately viewed as a commentary on the Duke lacrosse rape scandal. A sequel has already been ordered, because you and I don’t get to decide anything. — S.S. MY OLD LADY Rated PG-13 The terrific Kevin Kline (In and Out, A Fish Called Wanda) stars as Mathias Gold, a less-than-successful New Yorker who inherits an apartment in Paris from his father, from whom he was estranged. Dame Maggie Smith plays Mathilde Girard, a squatter who lives in the apartment – actually a sizable piece of valuable real estate – and won’t leave, Kristin Scott Thomas is her daughter Chloé. Sounds depressing and complicated, but it’s really your basic French farce. — M.D. NO GOOD DEED Rated R On Aug. 7, Theodore P. Wafer was convicted of murdering Renisha McBride, a black teenager who had knocked on his doors and windows in the dead of night. At press time, police officer Randall Kerrick was under indictment for killing Jonathan Ferrell, a black 24-year-old who’d approached a woman’s house seeking help after a car accident. And how has Hollywood chosen to respond to this recent rash of bad Samaritanism? By rewarding and reassuring us with a thriller in which the black person is up to no good after all. In this movie, yet another person of color arrives on the doorstep of yet another unsuspecting homeowner, claiming car trouble. But this time, the stranger is actually an escaped convict looking to pull off a home invasion. Whew! The endangered property holder in this scenario is an African-American woman too, so nobody can accuse the filmmakers of stoking racist fears. — S.S. THE SKELETON TWINS **G@ Rated R Filmmaker Craig Johnson’s debut, True Adolescents, didn’t exactly set the box office on fire, but you don’t expect to rub shoulders with Iron Man when your biggest star is Mark Duplass. For the follow-up, Johnson has conscripted leads Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig, which means you might even see it in an environment that doesn’t require you to hit a big red button on your remote. The Saturday Night Live alums

play siblings who renew their once-close relationship after they both manage to escape certain death on the very same day. And boy, are Hader and Wiig ideal for this gig, because you can count the number of latter-day Lorne Michaels protégés who have “escaped death” on the thumbs of just one foot. — S.S. THE SONG Rated PG-13 It’s a marital drama that has “temptation” as a plot point. Redemptive message. Limited release with little mainstream publicity. Put ’em all together, and what do you get? JAY-SUS! Yep, it’s another faith-based picture out to show us what’s wrong with our puny secular relationships.

This one says it’s “inspired by the Song of Solomon” – which, if I remember my Bible-camp scoldings correctly, is one of the filthiest bits of pornographic poetry in all of literature. Maybe an ad or two on NFL night might have been worth the dosh? — S.S. TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES Rated PG-13 OK, this is an honest-to-goodness reboot, with Michael Bay the man in charge of introducing the heroes in a half-shell to a new generation. Michael Bay for the Jim Henson Company? It isn’t my idea of a nifty trade, either. And Bay has brought in Megan Fox so she can play intrepid reporter April O’Neil – so much for our confidence that the abundant bad blood between the two of them would relegate them to polluting the cinematic gene pool separately and individually. Honestly, watching this is like watching East and West Germany reunite. Or the Eagles. — S.S. THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU Rated R Admit it: You’re a sucker for a story in which a wacky family has to pull together after the death of their beloved patriarch. Heck, the first episode of Six Feet Under is still your favorite hour of TV ever. Now imagine that story setup handled by Shawn Levy, the guy who made The Internship and the Night at the Museum movies. Now think of something pleasant, because you’ve earned it. — S.S. TUSK ***@ Rated R Los Angeles-based podcaster Wallace Bryton (Justin Long) travels to Winnipeg to interview a loser who cut off his own leg while pretending he’s in Kill Bill. When that doesn’t work out, Wallace sees an ad for a man wishing to tell of his great adventures. Needing a story, Wallace takes a two-hour drive into the country to meet a complete stranger, Howard Howe (Michael Parks). He gets there and is taken captive

by Howard, who has an unhealthy obsession with walruses.

Up to this point, you’re able to take the film seriously, but once Wallace and Howard sit at a dining room table and howl (not together, but at the same time), you know you’ve entered the theater of the absurd. Because I cannot render a qualitative good/bad analysis, protocol dictates (per Roger Ebert) that I write about how the movie made me feel. One word keeps coming to mind: unnerved. — Dan Hudak

A WALK AMONG THE TOMBSTONES **@@ Rated R Reviewed in this issue.

WHEN THE GAME STANDS TALL Rated PG … he sure makes Weezy look like a bitch when it comes to throwing three-pointers, nyuk nyuk! Actually, this new sports drama is about high school football, not hoops, and it stars Jesus-turned-Person-of-Interest Jim Caviezel as a real-life coach who took a California team to a recordwinning streak. Son of a bitch, I think I nodded off just typing that. — S.S.

NEW ON DVD & BLU-RAY

CHEF **G@ Rated R Writer-actor-director Jon Favreau’s pleasant dramedy is nice to look at, but shapeless and slight. Carl Casper (Favreau) is an average chef for an average restaurateur (Dustin Hoffman) who fires him when a critic pans the place. He gets a food truck, which reignites his passion for cooking. Costars Oliver Platt, John Leguizamo, Emjay Anthony, Scarlett Johansson, Amy Sedaris and a hilariously manic Robert Downey Jr. — Jeff Meyers TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION The fourth Trannies flick has a whole new cast of humans, led by unencumbered-by-self-awareness Mark Wahlberg.

Marky’s performance is quite the meme thanks to the line “I tink we just found a Transfomah!” It’s a new era for Autobots, as cars-that-turn-into-robots are joined by Dinobots, robots taking the form of dinosaurs.

NEIGHBORS **G@ Rated R New parents Mac (Seth Rogen) and Kelly (Rose Byrne) Radner have to put up with the Delta Psi fraternity buying the suburban house next door. Directed by Nicholas Stoller from a script by Andrew J. Cohen and Brendan O’Brien, the comedy casts Rogen in a comfortable role as a genial pot-smoker, and Byrne in a comfortable role where she’s allowed to speak with her own Australian accent. They try to play nice with the party-hearty crew led by chapter president Teddy (Zac Efron), but escalating noise starts a conflict. — Scott Renshaw WE ARE THE BEST! ***@ Not Rated Bobo (Mira Barkhammar) is a proto-punk with Lennon spectacles and soft spikes. her best friend, Klara (Mira Grosin), a charismatic alpha. It’s 1982. While some of their classmates are experimenting with (shudder) crimped hair and aerobics leotards, Bobo and Klara are fully in thrall to punk – the music and the aesthetic and the snarlingness – and it informs every aspect of their still-developing senses of identity.

LEFT BEHIND Rated PG-13 • Opens Oct. 3 OK, this isn’t funny any more. For a while there, it was amusing to cluck about the terrible movies Nic Cage had to keep making because he’d lost all his money. (God knows Andy Samberg got some good mileage out of it.) But no amount of destitution could justify Cage’s decision to take the lead role in a mainstream, big-studio adaptation of the odious Left Behind series of fundie wish-fulfillment novels.

Somehow, a huge swath of secular America has convinced itself that the books are just fun apocalyptic sci-fi, when they’re really sneeringly superior whack-job theology that wishes death and damnation on everyone standing to the left of Pat Robertson. The last thing this county needs is a “name” star (even a now-laughingstock of one) conferring further legitimacy on that sort of “entertainment.” Hey, Nic: Get back in the cage. And stay there. — S.S. LET’S BE COPS Rated R The action-comedy co-stars Jake Johnson (New Girl) and Damon Wayans Jr., who inherited his dad’s good looks and, we hope, comedic talents. They’re pals Ryan and Justin, going to a costume party dressed up as cops, with all the shiny gear cops like to have hanging off their highly polished Sam Browne belts. The outfits must be authentic-looking, because the two slackers are taken for real flatfoots and the hilarity ensues. — M.D.

Ben Affleck, sans Batsuit, becomes a suspect in his wife’s disappearance in David Fincher’s Gone Girl, opening Oct. 3.

OCTOBER 1-7, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27

A&E // ARTS Tiny-Small #305, 3˝x2.25˝, oil on panel, 2014

STRANGELY FAMILIAR

Radical Simplicity, 10˝x8˝, oil on canvas, 2014

Painter Painter Sara Sara Pedigo Pedigo continues continues to to turn turn the the commonplace commonplace into into contemplative contemplative works works

S

ara Pedigo has a keen eye for details. In the past decade-plus, the St. Augustine painter and educator has been mindfully studying her surroundings and providing a kind of field report through large and small works. Focusing on figures, self-portraits and still-life subject matter, Pedigo’s work mines the commonplace to offer snapshots into her personal world.

At her three-person Plum Gallery show with painter Mary Lou Gibson and blown-glass artist Thomas Long, opening Oct. 3, Pedigo is exhibiting several recent larger paintings as well as a group of her Tiny-Smalls, smallscale works that are miniature microcosms of contemporary realist paintings.

In 2010, Pedigo began the ongoing TinySmalls series, which now includes about 400 pieces. “There is just something about working really small that is deeply satisfying and interesting to me,” says Pedigo. “The intimacy inherent in the scale is very appealing, as is the economy of mark-making; a single brushstroke can be an entire arm or swath of land. I love the limited amount of information available.”

Rendered in dense strikes of paint, the TinySmalls are distilled versions of the kind of softly diffused realism indicative of Pedigo’s work. These particular compositions feature everything from bucolic landscapes to images of children. While these works are small in scale, they’ve earned sizeable attention. Pedigo’s Winter to Spring, a 1-inch-by-7-inch strip of 1-inch-by-1.25-inch paintings, was featured in a 2006 exhibition at the Smithsonian Institution’s National Portrait Gallery in Washington, D.C. Larger pieces feature the same kinds of typical settings, with an equally inventive use of color, offering, at times, a voyeur-like quality.

Family scenes have been key to Pedigo’s work.

Many of her paintings utilized the contents of a box of old photos as source material. From these pictures, a timeline of her childhood and youth, Pedigo would cull different ideas and events, rearrange them on the canvas and create a kind of false reminiscence — remembrances and celebrations transformed into manufactured memories. The works were also based on a sense of grief over the loss of her parents. Pedigo’s mother passed away in 2006; her father in 2009.

“I think I painted myself through a place where those images needed to be out and around,”

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says Pedigo. “I have always used making art as a means to understand the world, and in particular my place or relationship to it. Those paintings were really a way for me to make present what I had lost. Only in the last year was I able to put most of the photographs away and stop milling around in the past.”

Pedigo’s introspective approach is matched by her productive nature. Since 2003, she has been featured in more than 70 solo and group exhibits and received a dozen awards acknowledging her work. Days are spent at Flagler College, where she is an associate professor and teaches more than a half-dozen courses ranging from drawing and painting to portfolio classes. “I am a better artist because of the daily interactions I have with my students and colleagues,” she says, acknowledging how her understanding of color, light, and “the tricky business of translating the world around us onto a flat surface” have improved during her time spent at Flagler.

After work, the ever-prolific Pedigo remains devoted to her personal discipline. In the last few weeks alone she’s completed a group of drawings, three medium-sized paintings and 10 Tiny-Smalls. “I try to make a lot of work,” she says. “Some of it is hubris, because I always think the next thing will be better.” After a summer of intensive painting, Pedigo says, she recently ordered “a ton of paint” — forthcoming work will feature still-lifes of friends in their living spaces and even her ceiling fan’s chains.

Pedigo’s ability to infuse the passing imagery of ordinary life with beauty and even poignancy is based on a direct line to what is truly contemporary — the here and now.

“The work is really about being present in the world and about getting outside of my head to simply appreciate being alive,” says Pedigo.

“I am actively engaging in the conscious act of fostering gratitude toward the beauty inherent in the world around me. It is a wildly simple notion that is much harder to accomplish in practice.”

Pure Threshold, 10˝x8˝, oil on canvas, 2014

Daniel A. Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com New works by SARA PEDIGO, MARY LOU GIBSON and THOMAS LONG Opening reception 5-9 p.m. Oct. 3, Plum Gallery, 9 Aviles St., St. Augustine, 825-0069, plumartgallery.com

Minor Rearrangement, 20˝x16˝, oil on canvas, 2014

A&E // ARTS GET REAL

new american painting

Frank Oriti: I’d Rather Sink, 2013. Oil and acrylic on canvas. 48 x 35 inches. Courtesy of the artist and the Richard J. Demato Fine Arts Gallery, Sag Harbor, New York.

Eight young artists present the American experience

Dolf James’ Trap 3, 2014 (aluminum, 84˝x48˝x72˝), is among the works in the exhibit Modulism, on display at J. Johnson Gallery in Jax Beach through Nov. 7.

PERFORMANCE

LIZ GIBSON PERFORMANCES Deformance artist Gibson performs The Trick is the Treat! at 5 p.m. on Oct. 1 at Main Street Park, 325 Main St., Downtown, and performs Be Brave, Leave Your Mark at 8 p.m. on Oct. 1 Museum of Contemporary Art, 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.org.

THE GORGEOUS NOTHINGS: EMILY DICKINSON’S ENVELOPE POEMS Marta Werner reads from The Gorgeous Nothings: Emily Dickinson’s Envelope Poems at 7:30 p.m. on Oct. 2 at University of North Florida’s Gallery of Art, 1 UNF Drive N., Southside, 620-1000, free.

BITS AND PIECES The Vintage Player presents this production of light-hearted skits, scenes and monologues at 6:30 p.m. on Oct. 1 at Clay County Headquarters Library, 1895 Town Center Blvd., Fleming Island, 278-3722.

THE SECRET AFFAIRS OF MILDRED WILD Douglas Anderson School of the Arts presents this production that explores the exploits of a woman and her love of movies at 7 p.m. on Oct. 2, 3 and 4 at the school’s Black Box Theatre, 2445 San Diego Road, San Marco, 346-5620, $12; $10 for students, da-arts.org.

TWO FERNANDINA LITTLE THEATRE PRODUCTIONS The Readers Troupe performs the comedy classic She Stoops to Conquer at 7:30 p.m. on Oct. 2 and the dysfunctional family comedy Dearly Departed at 4:30 p.m. on Oct. 5 at 1014 Beech St., Fernandina Beach, 206-2607.

For ticket info, go to ameliaflt.org.

MAN OF LA MANCHA The story of eternal optimist Don Quixote and the faithful sidekick Sancho Panza is set to Tony Award-winning music and accompanied by a themed menu created by Executive Chef DeJuan Roy. Dinner is at 6 p.m., curtain up at 8 p.m.

Oct. 3, 4, 10, 11 and 12, $55 plus tax; brunch 11 a.m., show 1:15 p.m. Oct. 4 and 11; brunch noon, show 2 p.m.

Oct. 5 and 12, $47 plus tax; at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com.

THE ADDAMS FAMILY: THE MUSICAL Spooky and creepy – and funny – this fresh-from-Broadway musical is staged at 7:30 p.m. Thur.-Sat. and 2 p.m. Sun., through Oct. 19 at Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, $25, 825-1164, limelight-theatre.org.

JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR Andrew Lloyd Webber’s music and Tim Rice’s words are still powerful in this musical directed and choreographed by Ron Shreve and Jocelyn Geronimo and starring Alejandro Rodriguez as Jesus Christ. The local production is staged at 8 p.m. Oct. 2, 3, 4, 9, 10 and 11 and at 2 p.m. Oct. 5 at Players by the Sea, 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach, $28, 249-0289, playersbythesea.org.

FIGARO Part of the Classic in San Marco series, this play, directed by Amy Canning, is staged at 7:30 p.m. on Oct. 2 and at 8 p.m. on Oct. 3 and 4 at Theatre Jacksonville, 2032 San Marco Blvd., San Marco, $20-$25, 396-4425, theatrejax.com.

COMEDY

NICK SWARDSON The star of Reno 911 performs at 8 p.m. on Oct. 2 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, $41, 355-2787, floridatheatre.com.

JOHN WITHERSPOON Best known for his appearances in the Friday trilogy, this funnyman performs at 8 and 10 p.m. Oct. 3 and 4 at the Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, $20-$25, 292-4242, comedyzone.com.

JAMES YON The hilarious host of Viral Breakdown appears at 8:30 p.m. on Oct. 3 at Bonkerz Comedy Club, bestbet, 455 Park Ave., Orange Park, $10 and $35, 646-0001, bestbetjax.com.

PATRICK KEANE Keane, who’s appeared on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, appears at 8:04 p.m. Oct. 2-4, and at 10:10 p.m.

Oct. 4 at the Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., $6-$15, 646-4277, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

MAD COWFORD IMPROV Weekly PG-13-rated improv shows, based on audience suggestion, are held at 8:15 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at Northstar Substation, 119 E. Bay St., Downtown, $5, 2332359, madcowford.com.

HOT POTATO COMEDY HOUR Local comics appear 9 p.m. every Mon. at rain dogs., 1045 Park St., Riverside, free, 379-4969.

OPEN DOOR SUNDAYS Open mic night 9 p.m. every Sun. at Tapa That, 820 Lomax St., 5 Points, free, 376-9911, tapathat.com.

CALLS, WORKSHOPS & EVENTS

PLAY AUDITION IN FERNANDINA BEACH Amelia Community Theatre auditions for Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Christmas Carol, a blend of two Victorian classics, from 1-4 p.m. on Oct. 4 at 207 Cedar St., Fernandina Beach. Available roles call for 16 men, four women, one boy, one girl, and five roles that can be played by men or women. For details, call 261-6749 or go to ameliacommunitytheatre.org.

CALL FOR ARTISTS The Atlantic Beach Cultural Arts & Recreation Advisory Committee seeks visual artists for the 12th annual Arts in the Park, to be held on April 25, 2015. For more information and to download an application, go to coab.us.

AUDITIONS FOR HOLIDAY FAVORITE A Classic Theatre auditions for It’s a Wonderful Life, a live radio play by Joe Landry, directed by Jean Rahner, at 7 p.m.

Oct. 2, 3 and 4 at St. Augustine Beach City Hall, 2200 A1A S., aclassictheatre.org. Performances are held Nov. 14-16.

Auditions for a production of the comedy/drama Love, Loss and What I Wore by Nora Ephron and Delia Ephron, based on the book by Ilene Beckerman, directed by Anne Kraft, are also held. Bring current photo/headshot. Be prepared to read from scripts. For audition details, go to aclassictheatre.org.

MOCAJACKSONVILLE.ORG on view 09.13.14 – 01.04.15 Portraiture Through Time: A MOCA/Cummer Museum Tour 1-4 p.m. Sunday, October 5

ASSOCIATION SEEKS “TOUCHABLE” ART St. Augustine Art Association invites artists to submit works to the 13th annual Tactile Art Show for the blind held Oct. 3-Nov. 2. Suitable works include sculptures, assemblages, pottery, fiber art, reliefs, wall hangings, wood and metal works, and mixed media art with interesting shapes, forms and textures; kinetic and interactive art. Artists may enter up to three pieces. Entry fee is $15 per piece for members; $35 for nonmembers. Artwork may be delivered to the Art Center, 22 Marine St. noon-4 p.m. Oct. 1, 824-2310, staaa.org.

NAO VICTORIA Tour a replica of the first Spanish tall ship to successfully circumnavigate the world, commanded by Ferdinand Magellan in the 16th century, 10 a.m.-6:30 p.m. Mon.-Fri., 10 a.m.-7 p.m. Sat. and Sun. through December at St. Augustine Marina, 111 Avenida Menendez, 824-1606, elgaleon.org.

SUNDAY PAINT DAY Free art classes are offered to children at 5 p.m. every Sun. at LIYF Clothing & Accessories, 2870 University Blvd. W., Lakewood, vegan and vegetarian snacks, free, 865-630-0358.

VERBAL ESSENCE Open mic poetry and musical performances are at 7 p.m. every Mon. at the Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, free, 807-2010, ritzjacksonville.com.

FIGURE DRAWING Live model figure drawing is offered 7 p.m. every Tue. at The Art Center II, $5 for members, $10 for non-members, artists bring supplies.

ACTEEN STAGE LAB Children in grades 6-12 learn street style and ambush theater 6:30 p.m. every Wed. at Limelight Theatre, $80 per session, 825-1164, limelight-theatre.org.

AMATEUR NIGHT Musicians, singers, comedians and poets participate in an audience-judged competition based on Amateur Night at the Apollo, held at 7:30 p.m. every first Fri. at the Ritz Theatre & Museum, $6.

ACTING & DANCE CLASSES The Performers Academy offers a variety of weekly acting and dance classes for children and adults at 3674 Beach Blvd., Southside, 322-7672, theperformersacademy.com.

FLAMENCO LESSONS The Spanish Cultural Society of Northeast Florida offers weekly flamenco dancing classes. For more info, call 2780173.

CLASSICAL, CHOIR & JAZZ

FRIDAY MUSICALE CONCERT Violinist Sean Lee and pianist Peter Dugan present an all-Beethoven program featuring three Sonatas for Violin and Piano at 7:30 p.m. on Oct. 3 at 645 Oak St., Riverside, 355-7584.

JAX SYMPHONY AT THRASHER-HORNE The Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra performs classical and pop hits, including pieces by John Williams, at 7:30 p.m. on Oct. 4 at Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts, 283 College Drive, Orange Park, $16-$48, 276-6750, thcenter.org.

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A&E // ARTS Jazz guitarist Taylor Roberts performs 7-10 p.m. every Wednesday and Thursday at Ocean 60 in Atlantic Beach.

ITALIAN SAXOPHONE QUARTET The world-renowned ensemble performs with a pianist at 2 p.m. on Oct. 5 at Flagler College’s Lewis Auditorium, 14 Granada St., St. Augustine, $30, 797-2800, emmaconcerts.com.

TONY STEVE AT JU Percussionist Steve performs with percussion trio Ground Floor at 7:30 p.m. on Oct. 5 at Jacksonville University’s Terry Concert Hall, 2800 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville, 256-8000, arts.ju.edu.

VOCAL CONCERT Jacksonville University voice students perform at 7 p.m. on Oct. 7 at Main Library’s Hicks Auditorium, 303 N. Laura St., Downtown, 630-2353, jaxpubliclibrary.org.

PERCUSSIONIST AT UNF Percussionist Ivan Trevino performs at 7:30 p.m. on Oct. 7 at University of North Florida’s Recital Hall, 1 UNF Dr., Southside, 620-2878, unf.edu.

A NIGHT OF JAZZ GREATS Legendary jazz drummer John Betsch performs with trumpeter Longineu Parsons, pianist Lindsey Sarjeant and bassist Delorean Fullington at 7:30 p.m. Oct. 10 at Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd, 1100 Stockton St., Riverside, 389-6222, riversidefinearts.org.

JAZZ IN PONTE VEDRA The Gary Starling Group (Carol Sheehan, Billy Thornton, Peter Miles) performs 7:30-10:30 p.m. every Thur. at Table 1, 330 A1A N., 280-5515.

JAZZ IN RIVERSIDE Trumpeter Ray Callendar and guitarist Taylor Roberts are featured at 9:30 p.m. every Thur. at Kickbacks Gastropub, 910 King St., 388-9551.

JAZZ IN MANDARIN Boril Ivanov Trio plays at 7 p.m. every Thur. and pianist David Gum plays at 7 p.m. every Fri. at Tree Steakhouse, 11362 San Jose Blvd., 262-0006.

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JAZZ IN NEPTUNE BEACH Live jazz is featured 7:30-9:30 p.m. every Sat. at Lillie’s Coffee Bar, 200 First St., 249-2922.

JAZZ IN ATLANTIC BEACH Guitarist Taylor Roberts is featured 7-10 p.m. every Wed. and Thurs. at Ocean 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060, ocean60.com.

JAZZ IN AVONDALE The Von Barlow Trio and Third Bass perform at 9 p.m. every Sun. at Casbah Café, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966.

JAZZ IN ST. AUGUSTINE Live jazz is featured nightly at Rhett’s Piano Bar & Brasserie, 66 Hypolita St., 825-0502.

ART WALKS, FESTIVALS & MARKETS

BEACHES ART FEST This juried fine arts event features arts and crafts from 10 a.m.-5 p.m. on Oct. 4 at Beaches History Museum, 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, beachesmusuem.org.

COMMUNITY FARMERS & ARTS MARKET Homemade baked goods, preserves, local honey, crafts, sauces, yard art, hand-crafted jewelry and more are featured 4-7 p.m. every Wed. at 4300 St. Johns Ave., Riverside/Avondale, 607-9935.

DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts and crafts and local produce are offered 10 a.m.-2 p.m. every Fri. at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 353-1188.

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Local and regional art, local music and entertainment – featuring You Rascal You!, Blue Muse and UNF Jazz Ensemble 2 starting at 10:30 a.m. on Oct. 4 – food artists

and a farmers market are featured 10 a.m.-4 p.m. every Sat. under the Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com.

FIRST WEDNESDAY ART WALK The downtown art walk, held 5-9 p.m. Oct. 1 and every first Wed., features more than 13 live music venues, more than 13 hotspots open after 9 p.m. (some close at 8 p.m.) and 50 total participating venues, spanning 15 blocks in Downtown Jacksonville. downtownjacksonville.org.

FIRST FRIDAY ART WALK The tour of Art Galleries of St. Augustine is held Oct. 3 and every first Fri., with more than 15 galleries participating, 829-0065.

JAX BEACH ART WALK More than 30 local artists display works, 5-9 p.m. Oct. 14 and every second Tue., along First Street between Beach Boulevard and Fifth Avenue North, Jax Beach, betterjaxbeach.com.

MUSEUMS

ALEXANDER BREST MUSEUM & GALLERY Jacksonville University, 2800 University Blvd. N., Arlington, 256-7371, arts.ju.edu. The permanent collection features carved ivory, Chinese porcelain and pre-Colombian artifacts.

AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY 233 S. Third St., Fernandina Beach, 261-7378, ameliamuseum.org. The children’s exhibit Discovery Ship allows kids to pilot the ship, hoist flags and learn about the history of Fernandina’s harbor.

AMERICAN BEACH MUSEUM American Beach Community Center, 1600 Julia St., Fernandina Beach, 277-7960, nassaucountyfl.com/facilities An exhibit celebrating the life of MaVynee Betsch, “The Beach Lady” is currently on display.

BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY PARK 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, beachesmuseum.org.

A&E // ARTS The Beaches Art Fest is held from 10 a.m.-5 p.m. on Oct. 4. The exhibit Remembering Hurricane Dora: The 50th Anniversary runs through Nov. 23. Admission is free for members, $5 for nonmembers.

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummer.org. A Commemoration of the Civil Rights Movement: Photography from the High Museum of Art is on display through Nov. 2.

CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530, flagler.edu/crispellert.

Hand, Voice and Vision: Artist’s Books from Women’s Studio Workshop is displayed through Oct. 18. The Bourbon Street exhibit focuses on the culture of the New Orleans street through Courtney Asztalos’ photography and screen grabs of the street’s 24-hour Earth Cam. On display through Oct. 18.

KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992, rain.org/~karpeles/ jaxfrm.html. Michael Cenci’s Wildlife and Nature Photography is on display through Oct. 29. The permanent collection includes many rare manuscripts.

LIGHTNER MUSEUM 75 King St., St. Augustine, 824-2874. Curator-led monthly tours are featured at 10 a.m. on Oct. 1 and every first Wed. MANDARIN MUSEUM & HISTORICAL SOCIETY 11964 Mandarin Rd., 268-0784, mandarinmuseum.net. The exhibit The Maple Leaf, which features artifacts and information from the Civil War era, runs through December.

MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 366-6911, mocajacksonville. com. Get Real: New American Painting and Jason John Studio Experience are on display through Jan. 4. The works of Caroline Lathan-Steifel are displayed in the Project Atrium exhibit through Oct. 26. Express Your #Selfie shows off the works of Wolfson’s Children’s Hospital patients, through Nov. 30. The Juxtaposition exhibit of works by husband-and-wife team Larry Wilson and Laurie Hitzig is on display through Nov. 2.

MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank, 396-6674, themosh. org. First Friday Cosmic Concerts (moshplanetarium.org) feature Laser Magic 7 p.m., Laser Vinyl 8 p.m., Dark Side of the Moon (Pink Floyd) 9 p.m., Led Zeppelin 10 p.m. on Oct. 3; $5.

XIMENEZ-FATIO HOUSE MUSEUM 20 Aviles St., St. Augustine, 829-3575. An arts and crafts display is featured from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. on Oct. 4.

GALLERIES

AMIRO ART & FOUND 9C Aviles St., St. Augustine, 824-8460. The opening reception for painter Matteo Neivert’s exhibit Roots is held from 5-9 p.m. on Oct. 3.

THE ART CENTER PREMIER GALLERY Bank of America Tower, 50 N. Laura St., Downtown, 355-1757, tacjacksonville.org. Print Matters: Making

an Impression features works of various printmaking techniques; on display through Nov. 5.

THE CULTURAL CENTER AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, 280-0614, ccvb.org. The exhibit Fusion, featuring collaborative work by photographer Ann Kemp and glass artist Denise Murphy, is on display through Nov. 7.

FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928, firststreetgalleryart. com. New digital paintings by Melinda Bradshaw are featured in the exhibit Beneath African Skies through Oct. 20.

J. JOHNSON GALLERY 177 Fourth Ave. N., Jax Beach, 435-3200, jjohnsongallery. com. Modulism, featuring works by Dolf James and Andrew Zimmerman, is on display through Nov. 7.

PLUM GALLERY 9 Aviles St., St. Augustine, 825-0069. The opening reception for an exhibit of new works by blown glass artist Thomas Long and painters Mary Lou Gibson and Sara Pedigo is held from 5-9 p.m. on Oct. 3.

ROTUNDA GALLERY 500 San Sebastian View, St. Augustine, 829-9721, stjohnsculture.com. An exhibit of black-and-white photographs from about 30 nonprofit organizations in St. Johns County is on display through Oct. 23.

SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 201 N. Hogan St., Ste. 100, Downtown, 438-4358, southlightgallery.com. Acclaimed architect Taylor Hardwick is honored at the book release for 60 Years of Design from 5-9 p.m. on Oct. 1. Wayne Wood presents a talk and slide presentation at 7 p.m.

EVENTS

LGBT HISTORY MONTH AT UNF “From Seneca, Selma and Stonewall – a Conversation with Emery Conrad” is presented at noon on Oct. 3 at University of North Florida. Images from the Stonewall National Museum & Archives-curated exhibit are on display throughout the campus, 1 UNF Dr., Southside, 620-2878, unf.edu.

DANCE COMPETITION The 24th annual First Coast Classic Dancesport Championship features ballroom and Latin dancers from around the world competing for prizes Oct. 2-4 at Renaissance Resort at World Golf Village, 500 S. Legacy Trail, St. Augustine, $25-$215, 338-9219, firstcoastclassic.com.

FINFEST This fundraiser for Jacksonville Speech & Hearing Center features food and drink, auctions, and live music by KTG Musical Entertainment, 6:30 p.m. Oct. 4 at Sawgrass Marriot Golf Resort & Spa, 1000 PGA Tour Blvd., Ponte Vedra Beach, $75 and $125, shcjax.org.

LARRY BAKER AT FLAGLER Award-winning author Baker reads his work at 7 p.m. on Oct. 2 at Flagler College’s Flagler Room, Ponce Hall, 14 Granada St., St. Augustine, 829-6481, flagler.edu.

The Pilot Club of Port of Jacksonville

EvergreenCemetery

present Tales of our City, a guided tour of Evergreen Cemetery

October 11-12, 2014 Saturday & Sunday 9am-3pm For More Information contact us at 904-703-4294 or visit our website www.pilotclub.org On Facebook: Evergreen Historic Cemetery Tours PreSale Ticket Locations: Evergreen Cemetery (Northside) Avondale Gift Boutique Book Nook Cottage by the Sea Flowerama Petunia Patch Boutique

The 24th annual First Coast Dancesport Championship is held Oct. 2-4 at Renaissance Resort at World Golf Village.

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DINING DIRECTORY To list your restaurant, contact your account manager or Sam Taylor at 904.260.9770 ext. 111 or staylor@folioweekly.com.

DINING DIRECTORY KEY

$ = Less than $8 $$ = $8- $14 $$$ = $15- $22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted free FW Bite Club tasting.

To join, go to fwbiteclub.com.

BOJ = 2013 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot Average Entrée Cost

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH, YULEE

29 SOUTH EATS, 29 S. Third St., 277-7919, 29southrestaurant.com. F In historic downtown, Chef Scotty Schwartz serves traditional regional cuisine with a modern twist. $$ L Tue.-Sat.; D Mon.-Sat.; R Sun. BARBERITOS, 1519 Sadler Rd., 277-2505. 463867 S.R. 200, Ste. 5, Yulee, 321-2240, barberitos.com.

Southwestern fare; made-to-order burritos, tacos, quesadillas, nachos, handcrafted salsa. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BRETT’S Waterway Café, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality in an upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB K L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com.

F In a historic building, the family-owned spot offers worldly fare: veggie burgers, fresh seafood, made-from-scratch desserts. Dine in or out on oak-shaded patio. Karibrew Pub offers beer brewed onsite. $$ FB K TO R, Sun.; L D Daily CIAO ITALIAN BISTRO, 302 Centre St., 206-4311, ciaobistro-luca.com. Owners Luka and Kim Misciasci offer fine dining: veal piccata, rigatoni Bolognese, antipasto.

Specialties: chicken Ciao, homemade-style meat lasagna. $ L Fri. & Sat.; D Nightly DAVID’S Restaurant & Lounge, 802 Ash St., 310-6049, ameliaislanddavids.com. Fine dining in historic district.

Fresh seafood, prime aged meats, rack of lamb served in an elegant, chic spot. $$$$ FB D Wed.-Mon. DICK’S Wings, 474313 E. S.R. 200, 491-3469. 450077 S.R. 200, Callahan, 879-0993. BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA. ELIZABETH POINTE LODGE, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. BOJ. Award-winning B&B has seaside dining, indoors or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily.

Homestyle soups, sandwiches, desserts. $$$ BW K B L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianescafe.com. F In renovated 1887 shotgun house. Jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, vegan/ vegetarian items. Dine in or on porch. $$ FB K B L D Daily LULU’S at Thompson House, 11 S. Seventh St., 432-8394, lulusamelia.com. F Creative lunch: po’boys, salads, little plates. Dinner: fresh local seafood, Fernandina shrimp.

Reservations. $$$ BW K TO R Sun.; L D Tue.-Sat. MARCHÉ BURETTE, 6800 First Coast Hwy., 491-4834, omnihotels.com. Old-fashioned gourmet food market/deli, in Spa & Shops, Omni Amelia Island Plantation. Continental breakfast; lunch features flatbreads. $$$ BW K TO L D Daily MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriverpizza.net. F BOJ. Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, by the pie or the slice. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE MUSTARD SEED CAFE, 833 TJ Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Snail of Approval.

Casual organic eatery and juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods.

All-natural organic items, smoothies, juice, coffee, herbal tea. $$ TO B L Mon.-Sat. PALATE Restaurant & Raw Bar, 614 Centre St., 432-7690, palateamelia.com. The new place features upscale Southerninfluenced cuisine and a raw bar. $$ FB K TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE PECAN ROLL BAKERY, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815, thepecanrollbakery.com. The bakery near the historic district has sweet and savory pastries, cookies, cakes, bagels, breads, all made from scratch. $ K TO B L Wed.-Sun. PLAE, 80 Amelia Village Cir., 277-2132, plaefl.net. Bite Club. Omni Plantation Spa & Shops. Bistro-style venue serves whole fried fish and duck breast. Outdoor dining. $$$ FB L Tue.-Sat.; D Nightly THE SALTY PELICAN Bar & Grill, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F ICW sunset view; secondstory outdoor bar. Owners T.J. and Al offer local seafood, Mayport shrimp, fish tacos, po’boys, original broiled cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F BOJ. Oceanfront place serves awardwinning handmade crab cakes, fresh seafood, fried pickles.

Outdoor dining, open-air 2nd floor, balcony. $$ FB K L D Daily TASTY’S FRESH BURGERS & FRIES, 710 Centre St., 321-0409, tastysamelia.com. BOJ. In historic district.

Fresh fast-food alternative, combining the freshest meats, hand-cut fries, homemade sauces, hand-spun shakes. $ BW K L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. 8th St., 261-6310. F This spot in an old gas station offers blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L Mon.-Sat. THE VERANDAH, 6800 First Coast Hwy., 321-5050, omni hotels.com. Extensive menu of fresh local seafood and steaks; signature entrée is Fernandina shrimp. Many herbs and spices are from onsite garden. $$$ FB K D Nightly

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Jennifer Williams pours fresh-brewed coffee alongside traditional Southern desserts – pecan pie, banana pudding, peach cobbler and sweet yams – at What’s Cooking located off Lane Avenue on the Westside. Photo: Dennis Ho

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

DICK’S Wings, 9119 Merrill Rd., 745-9300. SEE PONTE VEDRA. LA NOPALERA, 8818 Atlantic Blvd., 720-0106. SEE MANDARIN. LARRY’S SUBS, 1301 Monument, 724-5802. F SEE O.PARK. THE SHEIK DELI, 9720 Atlantic Blvd., 721-2660. Familyowned-and-operated, Sheik delis have served our area for 40+ years, with a full breakfast (pitas to country plates) and a lunch menu. $ TO B L D Mon.-Sat.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

BAGEL LOVE, 4114 Herschel St., Ste. 121, 634-7253, bagellovejax.com. BOJ. Locally-owned-and-operated spot.

Northern style bagels, cream cheeses, sandwiches, wraps, bakery items. Fresh-squeezed orange juice and lemonade, coffee, tea. $ K TO B L Daily THE CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966, the casbahcafe.com. F BOJ. Middle Eastern/Mediterranean fare. Patio, hookah lounge, bellydancers. $$ BW L D Daily CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATE, 3543 St. Johns Ave., 829-5790.

F In Green Man Gourmet. Wines, spices, fresh fruit ice pops and Belgian chocolates. SEE PONTE VEDRA. $$ TO FLORIDA CREAMERY, 3566 St. Johns Ave., 619-5386.

Premium ice cream, fresh waffle cones, milkshakes, sundaes and Nathan’s grilled hot dogs, served in Florida-centric décor. Low-fat and sugar-free choices. $ K TO L D Daily THE FOX Restaurant, 3580 St. Johns Ave., 387-2669.

F Owners Ian & Mary Chase offer fresh diner fare: burgers, meatloaf, fried green tomatoes, desserts. Breakfast all day.

Local landmark for 50+ years. $$ BW K L D Daily HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned and operated for 20+ years, the American pub serves 1/2-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA, 4530 St. Johns, 388-8828. F SEE MANDARIN. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200.

F Bite Club. BOJ. SEE BEACHES. MOJO NO. 4 Urban BBQ & Whiskey Bar, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. PINEGROVE Market & Deli, 1511 Pine Grove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F BOJ. 40+ years.

Burgers, Cuban sandwiches, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher cuts USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. $ BW TO B L D Mon.-Sat. PULP, 3645 St. Johns Ave., pulpaddiction.com. Juice bar. SEE SAN MARCO. RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurantorsay.com. BOJ. French/Southern bistro, with an emphasis on locally grown organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops. Snail of Approval. $$$ FB K R, Sun.; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simply saras.net. F Down-home fare, from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Mon.-Sat., B Sat.

BAYMEADOWS

AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 7825 Baymeadows Way, 733-4040. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300.

F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. BROADWAY Ristorante & Pizzeria, Ste. 3, 10920 Baymeadows Rd. E., 519-8000, broadwayfl.com. F Family-owned-and-operated Italian pizzeria serves calzones, wings, brick-oven-baked pizza, subs. $$ BW K TO L D Daily INDIA’S Restaurant, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8,

620-0777, indiajax.com. F Authentic Indian cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetable dishes, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L Mon.-Sat.; D Nightly LA NOPALERA, 8206 Philips Hwy., 732-9433. F SEE MANDARIN. LARRY’S SUBS, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., 737-7740. 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791. SEE MANDARIN. PIZZA PALACE Restaurant & Pizzeria, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., 527-8649, pizzapalacejax.com. F Relaxed, family-owned place serves homestyle cuisine. Local faves: spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, ravioli, lasagna, parmigiana. Outside dining; HD TVs. $$ BW K TO L D Daily ZESTY INDIA, 8358 Point Meadows Dr., 329-3676, zesty india.com. Asian methods meld with European template to create tandoori lamb chops, rosemary tikka. Vegetarian items cooked separately in vegetable oil. $ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun.

BEACHES

(Locations are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Ctr., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002, alspizza.com. F BOJ. For 20+ years, Al’s is a repeat winner in FW readers’ poll. New York-style, gourmet pizzas, baked dishes. All-day happy hour Mon.-Thur. $ FB K TO L D Daily BOLD BEAN Coffee Roasters, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201.

BOJ. SEE RIVERSIDE. BUDDHA THAI BISTRO, 301 10th Ave. N., 712-4444, buddhathaibistro.com. The proprietors are from Thailand; every dish is made with fresh ingredients. $$ FB TO L D Daily BURRITO GALLERY Express, 1333 Third St. N., 242-8226.

BOJ. SEE DOWNTOWN. CANTINA MAYA SPORTS BAR & Grille, 1021 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-3227. Popular spot serves great margaritas, great Latin food, burgers. Sports on TVs. $$ FB K L D Tue.-Sun. CASA MARIA, 2429 S. Third St., 372-9000, casamariajax. com. F Family-owned-and-operated place offers authentic Mexican fare: fajitas and seafood dishes, hot sauces made in-house. The specialty is tacos de asada. $ FB K L D Daily CULHANE’S Irish Public House, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595, culhanesirishpub.com. Bite Club. Upscale pub and restaurant owned and managed by sisters from County Limerick, Ireland. Shepherd’s pie, corned beef; gastropub menu. $$ FB K R Sat. & Sun.; L Fri.-Sun.; D Tue.-Sun. EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001.

SEE RIVERSIDE.

FLYING IGUANA Taqueria & Tequila Bar, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Center, Neptune Beach, 853-5680, flyingiguana.com. F Latin American fusion, Southwesterninfluenced: tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana sandwiches.

100+ tequilas. $ FB L D Daily HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815, harmoniousmonks.net. F SEE MANDARIN. LA NOPALERA, 1222 Third St. S., 372-4495. F SEE MANDARIN. LARRY’S Subs, 657 N. Third St., 247-9620. F SEE ORANGE PARK. LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., Beaches Town Center, Neptune Beach, 249-2922, lilliescoffeebar.com. F Locally roasted coffee, eggs, bagels, flatbreads, sandwiches, desserts.

Dine indoors or out, patio and courtyard. $$ BW TO B L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com. F Bite Club. BOJ. Hoagies, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers. Nonstop HH. $ FB K TO L D Daily METRO Diner, 1534 Third St. N., 853-6817. BOJ winner.

SEE SAN MARCO.

MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., Beaches Town Center, Neptune Beach, 249-5573, mezzarestaurantandbar. com. F Near-the-ocean eatery, 20+ years. Casual bistro fare: gourmet wood-fired pizzas, nightly specials. Dine inside or on the patio. Valet parking. $$$ FB K D Mon.-Sat. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ Pit & Blues Bar, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636, mojobbq.com. F BOJ. Pulled pork, Carolinastyle barbecue, Delta fried catfish, all the sides. $$ FB K TO L D Daily M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Center, Atlantic Beach, 241-2599, mshackburgers.com. F BOJ. David and Matthew Medure flip burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes, familiar fare, moderate prices. Dine inside or outside. $$ BW L D Daily NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach, 372-4105, nbbistro.com. Bite Club. Neighborhood gem with a chef-driven kitchen serves hand-cut steaks, fresh local seafood, tapas menu. HH. $$$ FB K R Sun.; L D Daily OCEAN 60 Restaurant, Wine Bar & Martini Room, 60 Ocean Blvd., Beaches Town Center, Atlantic Beach, 247-0060, ocean60.com. BOJ. Continental cuisine, fresh seafood, dinner specials and a seasonal menu in a formal dining room or casual Martini Room. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. RAGTIME TAVERN & Seafood Grill, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Center, Atlantic Beach, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F For 30+ years, the iconic seafood place has scored many awards in our BOJ readers poll.

Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily happy hour. $$ FB L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 1018 Third St. N., 372-4456, saltlifefoodshack.com. BOJ. Specialty items: signature tuna poke bowl, fresh rolled sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp, in a modern open-air space. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SLIDERS Seafood Grille & Oyster Bar, 218 First St., Beaches Town Center, Neptune Beach, 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille.com. Beach-casual. Faves: Fresh fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, ice cream sandwiches. $$ FB K L Sat. & Sun.; D Nightly

DOWNTOWN

AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 21 W. Church St., 665-7324, akelsdeli.com. F New York-style deli offers freshly made fare: subs (3 Wise Guys, Champ), burgers, gyros, breakfast bowls, ranchero wrap, vegetarian dishes. $ K TO B L Mon.-Fri. BURRITO GALLERY & BAR, 21 E. Adams St., 598-2922, burritogallery.com. BOJ. Southwestern burritos, ginger teriyaki tofu, beef barbacoa, wraps, tacos. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. CASA MARIA, 12961 N. Main St., Ste. 104, 757-6411.

F SEE BEACHES. CHOMP CHOMP, 106 E. Adams St., 762-4667. F Eats at moderate prices – most less than $10. Chef-inspired street food: panko-crusted chicken, burgers, chinois tacos, bahn mi and barbecue. $ L Tue.-Sat.; D Thur.-Sat. FIONN MacCOOL’s Irish Pub & Restaurant, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1547, fionnmacs.com. BOJ. Casual dining with an uptown Irish atmosphere, serving fish and chips, Guinness lamb stew and black-and-tan brownies. $$ FB K L D Daily OLIO MARKET, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com.

From-scratch soups, sandwiches. They cure their own bacon, pickle their pickles. Home to duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L Mon.-Fri.

DINING DIRECTORY GRILL ME!

A WEEKLY Q&A WITH PEOPLE IN THE FOOD BIZ

NAME: Gustavo Ramos RESTAURANT: Tempo Restaurant, 16 Cathedral Place, St. Augustine BIRTHPLACE: Lima, Peru

YEARS IN THE BIZ: 15

FAVORITE RESTAURANT (other than mine): Bahama Breeze in Orlando BEST CUISINE STYLE: Latin fusion GO-TO INGREDIENT: Fresh seafood IDEAL MEAL: Real Spanish paella cooked in a real paella wok with a lot of wine and shellfish.

WILL NOT CROSS MY LIPS: Pork liver INSIDER’S SECRET: Use real lime juice, fresh ingredients.

CULINARY TREAT: Fresh Peruvian ceviche, corvina wine

FLEMING ISLAND

GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 1915 East-West Pkwy., 541-0009. F BOJ. SEE RIVERSIDE. LA NOPALERA, 1571 C.R. 220, 215-2223. F SEE MANDARIN. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999.

F Bite Club. BOJ. SEE BEACHES. MOJO Smokehouse, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteys fishcamp.com. F Real fish camp serves gator tail, freshwater river catfish, daily specials, traditional fare, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, motorcycle or car. $ FB K TO L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly YOUR PIE, 1545 C.R. 220, Ste. 125, 379-9771, yourpie. com. Owner Mike Sims’ pizza concept: Choose from 3 doughs, 9 sauces, 7 cheeses and 40+ toppings; create a pizza pie. In a brick oven for 5 minutes and ta-da: It’s your pie. Subs, sandwiches, gelato. $$ BW K TO L D Daily

INTRACOASTAL WEST

AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. DICK’S Wings, 14286 Beach Blvd., 223-0115. F BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA.

LA NOPALERA Mexican Restaurant, 14333 Beach Blvd., Ste. 39, 992-1666. F Tamales, fajitas, pork tacos. Some La Nops have a full bar. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980.

F SEE ORANGE PARK. TIME OUT Sports Grill, 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 223-6999, timeoutsportsgrill.com. F Locally-owned-and-operated.

Hand-tossed pizzas, wings, wraps. Daily drink specials, HDTVs, pool tables. Late-night menu. $$ FB L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly

JULINGTON CREEK

DICK’S Wings, 525 S.R. 16, Ste. 101, 825-4540. BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA.

METRO Diner, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F BOJ. SEE SAN MARCO.

PIZZA PALACE, 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, 230-2171. F SEE BAYMEADOWS.

MANDARIN

AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 12926 Gran Bay Pkwy. W., 880-2008. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F SEE BEACHES. ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199, athenscafe.com. F All the favorites, from dolmades (stuffed grape leaves) to baby shoes (stuffed eggplant).

Greek beers. $$ BW L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. BROOKLYN PIZZA, 11406 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 288-9211.

13820 St. Augustine Rd., 880-0020. Brooklyn Special.

Calzones, white pizza, homestyle lasagna. $$ BW TO L D Daily THE COFFEE BARD, 9735 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 13, 260-0810, thecoffeebard.com. New world coffeehouse has coffees, breakfast, drinks. $$ TO B L D Tue.-Sun. DICK’S Wings, 10391 Old St. Augustine, 880-7087. F BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA. GIGI’S RESTAURANT, 3130 Hartley Rd., 694-4300, jaxramada.com. BOJ. In Ramada. Prime rib and crab leg buffet Fri. & Sat., blue-jean brunch Sun., daily breakfast, lunch and dinner buffets. $$$ FB B R L D Daily GILMON’S BAKERY, 11362 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 13, 288-8128, gilmonsbakery.com. Custom cakes, cupcakes, gingerbread men, pies, cookies, coffee, tea. $$ B L Tue.-Sat. HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 30, 880-3040, harmoniousmonks.net. F American-style steakhouse: Angus steaks, gourmet burgers, ribs, wraps. $$ FB K L D Mon.-Sat. KAZU Japanese Restaurant, 9965 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 35, 683-9903, kazujapaneserestaurant.com. Wide variety of soups, dumplings, appetizers, salads, bento boxes, sushi, entrées, maki handrolls, sashimi. $$ BW TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA, 11700 San Jose Blvd., 288-0175. F Tamales, fajitas and pork tacos are customer favorites.

Some locations offer a full bar. $$ FB K TO L D Daily

LARRY’S SUBS, 11365 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 674-2945.

F SEE ORANGE PARK. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. Natural, organic soups, sandwiches, wraps, baked goods, prepared foods, juices and smoothies. Juice, smoothie and coffee bar. Allnatural, organic beers, wines. Indoor, outdoor dining. $ BW TO K B L D Daily THE RED ELEPHANT Pizza & Grill, 10131 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 12, 683-3773, redelephantpizza.com. F Casual, family-friendly eatery serves steaks, seafood, chicken grill specials. Five topping selections. Salads, sandwiches, pizza.

Gluten-free friendly. $ FB K L D Daily STEAMIN, 9703 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 493-2020, eatsteamin.com. Classic diner serves steam burgers, fat dogs and chili, 50+ craft beers. $ FB TO B Sat.-Sun.; L D Daily

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

ARON’S PIZZA, 650 Park Ave., 269-1007, aronspizza. com. F Family-owned restaurant has eggplant dishes, manicotti, New York-style pizzas. $$ BW K TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS, 1540 Wells Rd., 269-2122. SEE PONTE VEDRA. THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Road, 272-5959, hilltop-club. com. Southern-style fine dining. Specialties: New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. $$$ FB D Tue.-Sat. LA NOPALERA, 9734 Crosshill Blvd., 908-4250. 2024 Kingsley Ave., 276-2776. F SEE MANDARIN. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., 276-7370.

1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove Springs, 284-7789, larryssubs.com. F For 30+ years, all over town, they pile ’em high and serve ’em fast. Hot/cold subs, soups, salads. $ K TO B L D Daily POMPEII COAL-FIRED PIZZA, 2134 Park Ave., 264-6116.

Family-owned-and-operated, offering pizzas and wings made in coal-fired ovens. Espresso, cappuccino. $ BW TO L D Daily THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611, roadhouseonline.net. F Wings, sandwiches, burgers, quesadillas; 35+ years. 75+ imported beers. $ FB L D Daily THE SHEIK, 1994 Kingsley Ave., 276-2677. SEE ARLINGTON.

edgewoodbakery.com. 66+ years, full-service bakery.

Fresh breakfast, from-scratch pastries, petit fours, pies, cakes. Espresso, sandwiches, smoothies, soups. $$ K TO B L Tue.-Sat. EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 2753 Park St., 384-9999, europeanstreet.com. BOJ. 130+ imported beers, 20 on tap. NYC-style classic Reuben and other overstuffed sandwiches; salads, soups. Outside seating at some EStreets. $ BW K L D Daily GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F BOJ. The juice bar uses certified organic fruits and vegetables. 500+ craft/import beers, 250 wines, organic produce, humanely raised meats, plus a deli, as well as raw items, vegan, vitamins, herbs. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. Based on fare of Asian street vendors, peddling authentic dishes from mobile stalls. Chefs here serve the best hawker recipes under one roof. $ BW TO L D Daily KNEAD BAKESHOP, 1173 Edgewood Ave. S. New from Bold Bean Coffee Roasters’ owners. Locally-owned, familyrun bake shop specializes in made-from-scratch pastries, artisan breads, savory pies, specialty sandwiches, seasonal soups. $ TO B L Tue.-Sun. LARRY’S SUBS, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794. 7895 Normandy, 781-7600. 5733 Roosevelt, 446-9500. 8102 Blanding, 779-1933. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO Diner, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., Ortega, 999-4600.

F BOJ. SEE SAN MARCO. MONROE’S Smokehouse BAR-B-Q, 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551, monroessmokehousebbq.com. Monroe’s smoked meats include wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey and ribs. Homestyle sides include green beans, baked beans, mac-n-cheese, collards. $$ K TO L Mon.-Sat.; D Fri. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442.

F BOJ. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. THE MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434, mossfire.com. F Southwestern fish tacos, chicken enchiladas. Happy hour Mon.-Sat. upstairs lounge, all day Sun. $$ FB K L D Daily O’BROTHERS Irish Pub, 1521 Margaret St., 854-9300, obrothersirishpub.com. F Traditional shepherd’s pie with Stilton crust, Guinness mac-n-cheese, fish-n-chips. Patio dining. $$ FB K TO L D Daily THE SHEIK, 7361 103rd St., 778-4805. 5172 Normandy Blvd., 786-7641. SEE ARLINGTON. SUN-RAY Cinema, 1028 Park St., 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. F Beer (Bold City, Intuition), wine, pizza, hot dogs, hummus, sandwiches, popcorn, nachos, brownies. $$ BW Daily SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside Ave., Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushicafejacksonville.com. Sushi variety: Monster Roll, Jimmy Smith Roll; faves like Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll.

Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. Indoor or patio. $$ BW L D Daily

Watch Every NFL & NCAAF Game Here!

Happy Hour Mon - Fri 4pm-7pm $5 Appetizers, $3 Well Drinks 1/2 Price Drafts & House Wines

Mon

Half Price Pizza $6.95 Bud Lt Pitcher

tue

All Day Happy Hour & Half Price Appetizers

wed

thur

Team Trivia @ 7:30p 60¢ Wings Late Night Happy Hour 10pm-Close Half Price Pizza $2.50 Coronas $4.50 Loaded Coronas

fri

Team Trivia @ 6:3-pm $5 Pitchers of Long Islands and Margaritas 7pm-Midnight

sat

$5.99 Calzones $3.50 Mimosas & Bloody Marys

sun

60¢ Wings $3.50 Mimosas & Bloody Marys

VISIT 13779 BEACH BLVD. (HODGES PLAZA) LUNCH  DINNER  LATE NIGHT CALL FOR TAKE OUT 904.223.6999 TIMEOUTSPORTSGRILL.COM

ST. AUGUSTINE, ST. AUGUSTINE BEACH

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES.

PONTE VEDRA, NW ST. JOHNS

AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A N., 543-1494. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATE, 145 Hilden Rd., Ste. 122, 829-5790, claudeschocolate.com. Hand-crafted premium Belgian chocolate, fruits, nuts, spices. Cookies, popsicles. $$ TO DICK’S Wings & Grill, 100 Marketside Ave., 829-8134, dickswingsandgrill.com. F BOJ. NASCAR-themed; 365 kinds of wings, half-pound burgers, ribs. $ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S, 830 A1A N., 273-3993. F SEE ORANGE PARK. RESTAURANT MEDURE, 818 A1A N., 543-3797, restaurant medure.us. Chef David Medure offers global flavors. Small plates, creative drinks, HH twice daily. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat.

RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE

AKEL’S DELI, 245 Riverside Ave., 791-3336. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. BLACK SHEEP Restaurant, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, black sheep5points.com. BOJ. New American fare with Southern twist, made with locally sourced ingredients. Rooftop bar. $$$ FB R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily BOLD BEAN Coffee Roasters, 869 Stockton St., Stes.

1 & 2, 855-1181. F BOJ. Small-batch, artisanal coffee roasting. Organic, fair trade. $ BW TO B L Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412. Made-from-scratch “semi-swanky street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free and vegetarian options. $ BW L D Tue.-Sun. DICK’S Wings, 5972 San Juan, 693-9258. SEE PONTE VEDRA. EDGEWOOD BAKERY, 1012 S. Edgewood Ave., 389-8054,

AVILES Restaurant & Lounge, 32 Avenida Menendez, 829-2277, hiltonhistoricstaugustine.net. F Hilton Bayfront. Progressive European-flavored menu; made-toorder pasta night, wine dinners, chophouse nights, breakfast buffet. Sun. champagne brunch bottomless mimosas. $$$ FB K B L D Daily CARMELO’S Marketplace & Pizzeria, 146 King St., 494-6658, carmelosmarketplace.com. F NY-style gourmet brick-oven-baked pizza, fresh sub rolls, Boar’s Head meats and cheeses, garlic herb wings. Outdoor seating, Wi-Fi. $$ BW TO L D Daily CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATE, 6 Granada St., 829-5790. In The Market. Wine and chocolate pairings, soft-serve ice cream, a coffee bar, fresh fruit ice pops, cookies. $$ TO THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655, thefloridianstaug.com. Updated Southern fare: fresh ingredients from area farms. Vegetarian, gluten-free. Fried green tomato bruschetta, grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D Wed.-Mon. GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F A mainstay for 25+ years, Gypsy’s menu changes twice daily. Signature dish: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. Sun. brunch. $$ FB R Sun.; L D Daily THE ICE PLANT BAR, 110 Riberia St., 829-6553, iceplantbar.com. Vintage-inspired (an old ice plant) in historic area. Farm-to-table menu uses locally sourced ingredients; drinks are hand-crafted with house-made bitters, syrups. $$$ FB TO D Nightly MELLOW MUSHROOM, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F Bite Club. BOJ. SEE BEACHES. MOJO Old City BBQ, 5 Cordova, 342-5264. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES.

PACIFIC ASIAN BISTRO, 159 Palencia Village Dr., Ste. 111, 808-1818, pacificasianbistro.com. F BOJ.

OCTOBER 1-7, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33

DINING DIRECTORY

Gaby Marchegiani and Jessica Tate, at Hola Mexican Restaurant in Springfield, serve taco salads, flautas Mexicanas and other Latin-flavored delights. Photo: Dennis Ho Chef Mas Lui creates 30+ sushi rolls; fresh sea scallops, Hawaiian-style poke tuna salad. Sake. $$-$$$ BW L D Daily SALT LIFE Food Shack, 321 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 217-3256, saltlifefoodshack.com. BOJ. SEE BEACHES.

TEMPO, 16 Cathedral Place, 547-0240. Latin American fusion wine bar and restaurant offers traditional American fare with a Latin flair; sandwiches, too. $$ BW L D Tue.-Sun.

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER

BENTO CAFE Asian Kitchen & Sushi, 4860 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1, 564-9494, bentocafesushi.com. Pan-Asian fare; Asian-inspired dishes: wok stir-fry to fire-grilled, with authentic spices, fresh ingredients. Full sushi bar. $$ K FB TO L D Daily MOXIE Kitchen + Cocktails, 4972 Big Island Dr., 998-9744, moxiefl.com. Chef Tom Gray’s place features innovative contemporary American cuisine – seafood, steaks, pork, burgers, salads, sides and desserts – using locally sourced ingredients when possible. $$$ FB K L Mon.-Fri.; D Nightly M SHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000, mshackburgers.com. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES.

ALHAMBRA Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. Longest-running dinner theater in America. Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus.

Reservations recommended. $$ FB D Tue.-Sun. BARBERITOS, 4320 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., Ste. 106, 807-9060. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. BENTO CAFE Asian Kitchen & Sushi, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 11, 503-3238. SEE ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER. CASA MARIA, 14965 Old St. Augustine, 619-8186. SEE BEACHES.

DICK’S Wings & Grill, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 619-0954. SEE PONTE VEDRA.

THE DIM SUM ROOM, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138D, 363-9888, thedimsumroom.com. Shrimp dumplings, beef tripe, sesame ball. Traditional Hong Kong noodles, barbecue. $ FB K L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717.

SEE RIVERSIDE.

HZ CAFE, 6426 Bowden Rd., Ste. 206, 527-1078. Healthy concept cafe serves juices, smoothies, traditional vegan and vegetarian meals and vegan and gluten-free meals and desserts. $ K TO B L Mon.-Fri. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff S., 641-6499.

4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F BOJ. SEE ORANGE PARK.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

BASIL THAI & SUSHI, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190, basilthaijax.com. F Authentic dishes include Pad Thai, curries, sashimi, fresh sushi, daily specials. $$ FB L D Mon.-Sat. DICK’S Wings & Grill, 1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110. SEE PONTE VEDRA. EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 398-9500. BOJ. SEE RIVERSIDE. FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusionsushijax.com. F Upscale sushi spot serves a variety of fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ K L D Daily THE GROTTO Wine & Tapas Bar, 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726, grottowine.com. F Varied tapas menu: artisanal cheese plates, empanadas, bruschettas, cheesecake. 60+ wines by the glass. $$$ BW Tue.-Sun. LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1631 Hendricks, 399-1768. F SEE MANDARIN. MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922, matthews restaurant.com. Chef Matthew Medure’s flagship. Fine dining, artfully presented cuisine, small plates, martini/wine lists. HH Mon.-Fri. Reservations. $$$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metrodiner.com. F BOJ. Original upscale diner in ’30s-era building. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, homemade soups. $$ B R L Daily MOJO Bar-B-Que, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200.

F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. PIZZA PALACE, 1959 San Marco Blvd., 399-8815. F SEE BAYMEADOWS.

PULP, 1962 San Marco Blvd., 396-9222, pulpaddiction. com. The juice bar offers fresh juices, frozen yogurt, teas, coffees, 30 kinds of smoothies. $ TO B L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Blvd., 398-3005, tavernasanmarco.com. Modern take on classic recipes with authentic Italian ingredients, seasonal produce and meats from local purveyors coexist on Chef Sam Efron’s menus. Regional craft beers, handcrafted cocktails. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE

360° GRILLE, Latitude 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555, latitude360.com. F Seafood, steaks, burgers, chicken, sandwiches, pizza. Patio, movie theater. $$ FB TO L D Daily AKEL’S, 7077 Bonneval Rd., 332-8700. F SEE DOWNTOWN.

34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 1-7, 2014

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 997-1955. F Bite Club. BOJ. SEE BEACHES. MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE Bar B-Q, 10771 Beach Blvd., 996-7900, monroessmokehousebbq.com. SEE RIVERSIDE. SEVEN BRIDGES Grille & Brewery, 9735 Gate Pkwy., 997-1999, 7bridgesgrille.com. F Local seafood, steaks, pizzas. Brewer Aaron Nesbit handcrafts ales, lagers. $$ FB K TO L D Daily TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Court, 854-0426, tavernayamas.com. F Bite Club. BOJ. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, wines, desserts. Belly dancing. $$ FB K L D Daily TOMMY’S Brick Oven Pizza, 4160 Southside Blvd., Ste. 2, 565-1999, tbopizza.com. NY-style thin crust, brickoven-baked pizzas (gluten-free), calzones, sandwiches fresh to order. Boylan’s soda. Curbside pick-up. $$ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. WATAMI ASIAN FUSION, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138D, 363-9888. AYCE sushi, plus two teppanyaki grill items. Faves: Jaguar, dynamite, lobster, soft-shell crab rolls. $ FB K L D Daily WORLD of BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Court, Ste. 1, 551-5929, worldofbeer.com. F Burgers, tavern fare, sliders,flatbreads, German pretzels, hummus, pickle chips.

Craft German, Cali, Florida, Irish drafts. Wines. $$ BW L D Daily

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

HOLA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1001 N. Main St., 356-3100, holamexicanrestaurant.com. F Fajitas, burritos, enchiladas, daily specials. HH daily; sangria. $ BW K TO L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner, 764-9999. SEE ORANGE PARK.

SAVANNAH BISTRO, 14670 Duval Rd., 741-4404, cpjacksonvilleairport.com. F Low Country Southern fare, taste of Mediterranean and French. Crowne Plaza Airport.

Crab cakes, NY strip, she crab soup, mahi mahi. $$$ FB K B L D Daily THE SHEIK, 2708 N. Main St., 353-8181. SEE ARLINGTON. UPTOWN MARKET, 1303 Main St. N., 355-0734, uptownmarketjax.com. Bite Club. In 1300 Building. Fresh quality fare, innovative breakfast, lunch and dinner; farmto-table selections, daily specials. $$ BW TO B L Daily

BITE-SIZED

Best BBQ

IN JACKSONVILLE

Winner Best BBQ

LOOK, MA, NO FORK!

Dig in sans-silverware at this new Ethiopian joint

Jax Truckies 2014

2 Locations Serving You 4838 Highway Ave. (904) 389-5551

10771 Beach Blvd.

(904) 996-7900

Photo by Caron Streibich

U

doro wat, beef alicha and key wot, a stew of ntil recently, there was only one choice for beef cubes with onions, cooked in a bright red Ethiopian cuisine in town. Now there are bebere (a spice mixture including chili peppers, two. That means two excuses to eat with garlic, ginger and fenugreek) butter sauce. your hands, people!

Our server helped us select a good Situated in a small strip center near ethnic Ethiopian beer to complement our selections. shops and specialty stores off Baymeadows Even the chef came out to introduce herself and Old Baymeadows roads, Ibex Ethiopian and make sure everything was to our liking.

Kitchen is a spacious restaurant with an Prices for signature meat entrées, served assortment of tables, booths and bar seats, and with your choice of vegetarian sides, range a straightforward menu. from $11.95 to $15.95, If you’ve never and the vegetarian entrée experienced Ethiopian IBEX ETHIOPIAN KITCHEN selections are $9.95. cuisine, you may be 5111 Baymeadows Road, Southside, First-timers would likely surprised to find your 551-0403 enjoy one of the four silverware missing. Instead, combination platters. you’ll use injera, a roomtemperature, fermented Caron Streibich spongy bread served in rolls. When the basket biteclub@folioweekly.com arrives, unroll, pinch off a piece and use it to facebook.com/folioweeklybitesized pinch and pick up food.

If you have had Ethiopian fare, at Ibex you’ll find traditional favorites like sambusas, NIBBLES kitfo, tibs, wots and much more.

We first ordered the savory lentil, cabbage, The Bostwick Building on East Bay carrot, onion and jalapeno pepper sambusas Street in Downtown will become the ($3.95 for two), but our server politely high-end COWFORD CHOPHOUSE. informed us that the kitchen had run out. Next Plans call for a rooftop bar. time for sure.

Eager to try a bit of everything, we then CORNER BAKERY CAFE is coming ordered the chef ’s special combination platter soon to the Southside at 7111 Bonneval ($29.95). Ideal for two; with an appetizer, Road. A second location is slated for three people could easily share this. It arrived Brooklyn Station, the new development nicely plated in a rainbow-like assortment. on Riverside Avenue.

There was a good bounty of mostly vegetarian items: cabbage, collard greens, lentils, green CHOBAN GRILL, the excellent “Fast beans, split peas and kitfo (minced steak tartare Greek” spot near Folio Weekly’s HQ on with an herbed butter sauce and spiced chili the Southside, will soon open a second powder). There were also three individual location in Riverside. bowls of various meat-filled stews — chicken

TRY A CUP OF JOE CRAFTED BY JOE. Come find out why Lillie’s Coffee Bar is THE BEST COFFEEHOUSE AT THE BEACH! Wi-Fi • Delectable Desserts • Healthy, Delicious Cuisine • Live Music on Fri. & Sat.

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Neptune Beach

904.249.2922

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OCTOBER 1-7, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35

NEWS OF THE WEIRD FRONTIERS OF FLIGHT

Dutch inventors Bart Jansen and Arjen Beltman struck again recently when Pepeijn Bruins, 13, asked them to help him grieve over his pet rat, Ratjetoe, who had cancer and had to be put down. Having heard of the inventors’ work, Pepeijn asked if they could have Ratjetoe stuffed and turned into a radio-controlled drone. Jansen and Beltman, who’d earlier created an “ostrichcopter” and are now working on a “turbo shark,” created Pepeijn’s rat-copter, are best noted for their epic taxidermed cat, “Orvillecopter,” created in 2012 (view at nydn.us/1r0WmmA).

HOW TO CONFUSE AN ARIZONAN

In August, a state appeals court overruled a lower court and decided Thomas and Nancy Beatie could divorce, after all. The first judge determined their out-of-state marriage wasn’t valid in Arizona because they were both women, but Thomas has had extensive surgery and hormone therapy and become a man — though he’s also the spouse who bore the couple’s three children, since he retained his reproductive organs.

SQUAAAAWWK

Regulatory filings revealed in August that AOL still has 2.3 million dial-up subscribers (down from 21 million 15 years ago) paying, on average, about $20 monthly. Industry analysts, far from rolling on the floor laughing at the company’s continued success with 20th-century technology, estimate AOL’s dial-up business constitutes a hefty portion of its quarterly “operating profit” of about $122 million.

DEFINITIONS

Commentators have had fun with a new system of medical diagnostic codes (denominated in from 4-10 digits each) scheduled to take effect next October, and the “Healthcare Dive” blog had its laughs in a July post. The codes for “problems in relationship with in-laws” and “bizarre personal appearance” are quixotic enough, but the most “absurd” codes are “subsequent encounters” (i.e., at least the second time the same thing happened to a patient) for events like walking into a lamppost, getting sucked into a jet engine, receiving burns from on-fire water skis, or having contact with a cow beyond being

bitten or kicked — those have separate codes.

Also notable was S10.87XA, “Other superficial bite of other specified part of neck, initial encounter,” which seems to describe a “hickey.”

DRIVERS WHO RAN OVER THEMSELVES

In June, Robert Pullar, 30, Minot, North Dakota, subsequently charged with DUI, fell out of his car and was run over by it. In July, Joseph Karl, 48, jumped out of his truck to confront another driver in a road rage incident in Gainesville. As he pounded on that driver’s window, his own truck (negligently left in gear) crept up and ran him over. In July, a 54-year-old St. Petersburg man was hurt badly when, trying to climb on the street sweeper he operates for the city, he fell off, and the machine ran over him.

PLAY IT AGAIN, DOC

For patients who are musicians, deep brain stimulation (open-brain) surgery can provide entertainment for operating-room doctors as they correct neurological conditions such as hand tremors. In September, concert violinist Naomi Elishuv, who’s performed with the Lithuanian National Symphony Orchestra, played for surgeons at Tel Aviv Sourasky Medical Center so they could locate the exact spot in the brain for inserting the pacemaker to control the hand-trembling that had wrecked her career. Last week’s winner of the annual Steve Martin Prize for Excellence in Banjo & Bluegrass, Eddie Adcock, 76, finger-picked tunes in the operating room in 2007 for his own deep brain surgery.

WHO YOU CALLIN’ SHRIMP?

Buddhists believe in the wholesale “mercy release” of living creatures, with smaller and less consequential animals making even stronger statements of reverence, according to a July New York Times story from Yushu, China, describing the freeing of river shrimp the size of a fingernail clipping. These specks of life, an advocate said, “could very well be the reincarnated souls of relatives” who perished in the 2010 earthquake that demolished the local area. “We” workers, said another, “have the same feelings as the fish,” alluding to his own occupation of “digging in the mud.”

Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net

ASTROLOGY

JIMMY FALLON, TOMATOES, DEJA-VU & CRICKETS ARIES (March 21-April 19): As I hike through the wilderness at dusk, crickets always seem to be humming in the distance. No matter where I go, their sound is farther off, never up close.

How can that be? Do they move away as I approach? No leaping insects in the underbrush. How does this pertain to you? My relationship with the crickets’ song is like to a certain mystery in your life. There’s an experience calling but seems just out of reach. You think you’re drawing near, about to touch it and be in its midst, but it eludes you. The good news: A change is coming. It’ll be like what would happen if I was suddenly surrounded by hundreds of chirping crickets.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): When Jimmy Fallon was a high school senior, he got a weird graduation gift: a troll doll, one of those plastic figurines with frizzy, brightly colored hair. Around the same time, his mother urged him to enter an upcoming comedy contest at a nearby club. Jimmy thought it would be fun. He worked up a routine imitating various celebrities auditioning to become a spokesperson for troll dolls. With the doll by his side, he won the contest, launching his career as a comedian. There’s a comparable development in your life: an odd blessing or unexpected gift inspiring you to express a talent on a higher level.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In three years, you’ll comprehend truths about your life that you can’t grasp now. By then, confusing past events will make sense. You’ll know their purpose and why they occurred. Can you wait that long? If you’d rather not, do a meditation. Visualize yourself as you will be three years from today. Imagine asking your future self to tell you what’s been discovered. The revelations may take a while to start rolling in, but a whole series of insights will have arrived by this time next week.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Dear So-Called Astrologer: Your horoscopes are worse than useless. Mostly they’re crammed with philosophical and poetic crap that doesn’t apply to my daily life. Please cut way back on the fancy metaphors. Just let me know if there’s money or love or trouble coming – like what regular horoscopes say! — Skeptical Scorpio.

Dear Skeptical: In my astrological opinion, you and your fellow Scorpios soon feel the kind of pressure you just directed at me. People will ask you to be different from what you are. My advice? Do not acquiesce.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The journey that awaits is succinct but epic. It’ll last a relatively short time but take months to fully understand.

You may feel natural and ordinary as you go through it, even as you’re being heroic. Prepare as best as you can, but keep in mind no amount of preparation will get you completely ready for the spontaneous moves you’ll have to perform. Don’t be nervous! I bet you’ll get help from an unexpected source. Feelings of déjà-vu may crop up and provide a sense of familiarity – even if none of what occurs has any precedents.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In the wild, very few oysters produce pearls – about one in every 10,000. Most commercial pearls are from farmed oysters, induced by human intervention. As you might expect, the natural jewel is far more precious. Use these facts as metaphors as we speculate about your fate in the next eight months. You’ll acquire or generate a beautiful new source of value. There’s a small chance you stumble on a treasure like to the wild pearl. Take the more secure route: Work hard to create a treasure like a cultivated pearl.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In June 2012, a U.S. Senator introduced a bill that would require all members of Congress to actually read or listen to a reading of any bill before voting on it. The proposal has been in limbo ever since, and it’s unlikely it’ll ever be treated seriously. I’m confused – shouldn’t it be a fundamental requirement for all lawmakers know what’s in the laws they pass? Don’t make a similar error.

Understand exactly what you’re getting into, whether it’s a new agreement, interesting invitation or tempting opportunity. Be thoroughly informed.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Oliver Evans (1755-1819) was a prolific Virgo inventor who had brilliant ideas for steam engines, urban gas lighting, refrigeration and automated machines. He made a radical prediction: “The time will come when people will travel in stages moved by steam engines, almost as fast as birds fly, 15 or 20 miles an hour.” We may be surprised that a visionary innovator like Evans dramatically minimized any future possibilities. In the same way, later in your life, you may laugh at how much you’re underestimating future potentials now.

Stop underestimating.

36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 1-7, 2014

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Tomatoes are a staple of Italian cuisine now, but there weren’t any tomatoes in Europe until the 16th century, when Spanish explorers brought them from Central and South America. Likewise, Malaysia has become a major producer of rubber, but it had no rubber trees until seeds were smuggled out of Brazil in the 19th century. And bananas are a major crop in Ecuador thanks to 16thcentury Portuguese sailors, who brought them from West Africa. Comparable cross-fertilizations may occur for you in the months ahead. Do you have your eye on remote resources you’d like to bring back home?

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Years ago, you experienced an event so overwhelming, you couldn’t fully deal, let alone understand.

All this time, it’s been simmering and smoldering in the depths of your unconscious mind, emitting ghostly steam and smoke even as it’s remained difficult to integrate.

That changes in the months ahead. You finally find a way to bring it to conscious awareness and explore with courage and grace. It’ll be scary, but the fear is a residue from your old confusion, not a sign of real danger. For maximum liberation, begin soon.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): It’s prime time to do things not exactly easy and relaxing, but not actually painful. Like: Extend peace offerings to adversaries. Seek reconciliation with valuable resources from which you’ve been separated and potential allies from whom you’ve become alienated. Try new games you’d like to be good at, but aren’t yet. Get a better read on interesting people you don’t understand well. Leaving your comfort zone will be invigorating, not arduous.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Your oracle is built around epigrams of conceptual artist Jenny Holzer. From her hundreds of pithy quotes, here are six offering wisdom you need. Weave them into a symphonic whole. 1). “It’s crucial to have an active fantasy life.” 2). “Ensure your life stays in flux.” 3). “I have every kind of thought, and that is no embarrassment.”

4). “Animalism is perfectly healthy.” 5). “Finding extreme pleasure makes you a better person if you’re careful about what thrills you.” 6). “Listen when your body talks.”

Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

FOLIO WEEKLY PUZZLER by Merl Reagle. Presented by

SAN MARCO 2044 San Marco Blvd.

398-9741

PONTE VEDRA

THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA

330 A1A North 280-1202

September Story

68 69 70 71 72 74 75 77

The old Roman 10-month calendar started in March, then January and February were added at the front. September, which means “seven,” used to be the seventh month; now it’s ninth. You hear July and August were added to honor Julius and Augustus Caesar. Not so. Two existing months were just renamed. All this shows it doesn’t take much to inspire me to make a puzzle.

HELLO, YOUNG LOVERS (aka ISU Writers): The limit for ISU notices is 40 words ONLY. No messages with more than 40 words will be accepted. Please keep your message short & sweet. Thanks!

SO SWEET, BOUGHT TEA You: Tanned, green sunglasses, white SUV, motorcycle, OTW to pick up daughter. Me: Crazy spinner girl, parched, much appreciative of tea you bought. See you almost daily. Got your name, should’ve gotten number. A drink sometime? When: Sept. 27. Where: Monument/McCormick McD’s. #1414-1001

BMW RIDER ISU 18 years ago. Your cute dimples, warm smile and sexy moustache won my heart. Interested in a lifetime of fun? If so, let’s par-tay! Happy anniversary, Love, Your Nag. When: May 1994. Where: Famous Amos. #1403-0910

ROGUE MEN You helped me with ring toss. Stood really close. Had to run, had friends waiting. Wish I’d gotten your name and number!

When: Sept. 7. Where: Dive Bar. #1413-1001

STUNNING BLONDE NURSE Talked; bought you a drink upstairs. We seemed to connect.

You showed me your driver license because I didn’t believe your age. Wish I’d written your name down; really want to talk.

When: Aug. 22. Where: Salt Life St. Augustine. #1402-0827

BEARD MAGIC You: Jet-black hair, green eyes, sexy red Fiat 500. You said my beard had magical powers. Me: Colorful tats, magical beard, Donkey Bong shirt. I gave you my toast and you promised a date. When and where? When: Sept. 15. Where: Brew 5 Points. #1412-1001

PURPLE SCRUBS SAN MARCO You took my blood pressure, started asking me some questions, then a young doctor walked in. We started laughing at the tag-team questionnaire. I commented on your long hair. When: Aug. 19. Where: Academic Dermatology. #1401-0827

BARISTA WITH DEVILED EGGS You: Starbucks Barista. Handed me a deviled egg, drew a heart on my vanilla milk. Never knew what I loved about this old coffee shop. Close your tally with a herringbone? Love to read more newspapers – as your girlfriend. When: Aug. 14.

Where: Southside/Baymeadows Starbucks. #1411-0924

MR. CHEVY EQUINOX ISU wearing scrubs, driving an Equinox. I wore shorts, tank top; driving a black Chevy Tahoe, heading out of town for work. You asked about the Tahoe, what I did for a living.

Love to chat more! When: Aug. 19. Where: Town Center Shell. #1400-0827

SAUSAGE CUTIE You: Fast-talking Penguin shirt guy, recently out of jail; said three months in jail builds character. Me: Tall, jet-black hair, way-too-short dress. I asked if you knew I wasn’t wearing panties; you joked about sausage size on pizza.

Pizza soon? When: Sept. 17. Where: Avondale Mellow Mushroom. #1410-0924

MEET FOR BEER You: Handsome guy, Yankee Coffin Co. T-shirt, jeans, behind me at register; our eyes met. Me: Curly blonde, jeans. Said hello as you left on motorcycle with I assume your son. If not single, no reply; you looked nice. When: Aug. 17. Where: European Street Jax Beach. #1398-0827

BLACK GUY, ORANGE SHIRT, BOOTS You: Handsome, dark skin, orange shirt, behind me in WalMart money center line, 2 p.m. Me: Tall, curvy, tattooed blonde talking to couple ahead of you. Too shy to stay, thought I saw you looking. Meet? When: Sept. 12. Where: Kingsland Walmart. #1409-0917 COFFEE HOTTIE You: Hottest girl at Bold Bean, skintight Lululemons, bedhead and full-sleeve Molly Hatchet tattoo. You caught my glance waiting for latte. Me: Still drunk from last night, looking fine in Jesus Is The Shit shirt. We MUST meet. When: Sept. 10.

Where: Bold Bean. #1408-0917 HOT BLONDE @ UPS STORE You: Girl at Claire Lane/San Jose Boulevard UPS store. Me: Handsome Latino courier who comes in twice a month to pick up a customer’s mail. You know who I am. If single, wanna chat? When: Sept. 8. Where: UPS Store. #1407-0917 FLIRTING WHILE DRIVING? You: Dark Dodge pickup, Gator plate. Me: Old red Jeep Cherokee. Passed each other – intentionally – on bridge; smiles, waves. You’re cute! I was late, or would’ve followed.

Wanna slow down and say hi? When: Sept. 3. Where: Buckman Bridge. #1406-0917 DESPERATELY SEEKING PIXIE You: Steampunk girl on red couch. You asked if I’d ever be done. Me: In black, too work focused to speak to you properly. I’m done; ready. Need to find each other. Let’s meet, talk, try to forgive. RAM 10 a.m. find me. I’ll go until I see you. When: Aug. 23. Where: Royal. #1405-0917 HOT COP AT LOGAN’S ROADHOUSE ISU at Logan’s. You: slightly seasoned gentleman; ordered a juicy steak, but I wish I could have ordered yours. Oh, and Momma has a coupon for you! When: Aug. 29. Where: Logan’s Roadhouse. #1404-0910

HOLDING AN UMBRELLA You: Sweet, standing under shelter helping people to cars during a thunderstorm. Me: Redhead desperate for shelter from the storm. You asked me what I did. You work at insurance agency. Call if you’d like to share your umbrella.

When: Aug. 14. Where: Thrasher Horne Center. #1397-0820 RUNNING OUT OF MOONLIGHT ISU: Mavericks acoustic concert. We talked, you put your arm around me during two songs. Your friend said you wash your beard with long-term relationship Head & Shoulders.

You make a cowboy hat look good ;). When: Aug. 13. Where: Mavericks at the Landing. #1396-0820 SUPERCUTE SECURITY GUARD Wanted to talk to you but you were already talking to another female when I was leaving. You: Supercute white security guard. Me: Cute, thin, chocolate-caramel female. Hoping you and I get a chance to talk. When: Aug. 12. Where: Main Library. #1395-0820 NAVY FATIGUES & ME You: A tall gorgeous clean-cut guy in your Navy uniform waiting on your coffee at Starbucks. Me: A shy long-haired Native American princess waiting on her breakfast dessert. Why aren’t you on the menu? When: Aug. 7. Where: 1604 Margaret St. #1394-0813 WALMART CHECKOUT, ST. AUGUSTINE You: Tall handsome gentleman, cowboy boots, jeans & white shirt. On a Monday, we chatted about your pool chlorine and my grapes. Me: Petite, long red hair. New to area, would love to connect.

When: Aug. 4. Where: St. Augustine Walmart. #1393-0813

I SAW U Connection Made!

J.B. WITH A PLAIN NAME TAG You have a good smile. I tried to flirt back; maybe next time I see you I can give you my phone number. Me: Redhead in bright lime green workout tank. When: Aug. 4. Where: Panera@Beach/Hodges. #1392-0813

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ACROSS

They’re full of beans “I’m afraid to ___” Farrow and Hamm Aircraft engine Ottoman ruler nicknamed “The Lion” Entry fee?

Birds that grab bats Recycling device in which you insert cans and get back money Incisor neighbors Japanese battle cry Gomez Addams portrayer Red with a goatee Sundial number Grier and Shriver ___ mater (brain covering) Put a ding in, e.g.

Cherry part It might have a garaje Red or pink bloom Author of “I Ain’t Got Time to Bleed” Word on a door Retro repro machines NFL analyst Collinsworth French student Tonic-water ingredient Sweet-tempered sort Steep No-goodnik Cuba or Aruba: abbr.

Living on river banks Vague pronoun Royal annoyance Tonight Battery symbol 2

3

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SOUTHSIDE

AVONDALE 3617 St. Johns Ave. 10300 Southside Blvd.

388-5406 394-1390 AVENUES MALL

Wall bracket’s shape Fun-in-the-sun spots “___ hear” Falstaff quaff “8 Mile” star Gull’s cousin Cockamamie Director of Brando and Dean Federico of the Clinton cabinet Ladderlike Trib’s home Pays back, in a way Wobble Do a driving no-no Writer McCaffrey Madonna in “A League of Their Own” Salon option Colombian city Omega preceder Occupied Libya’s Gulf of ___ Disney World county What “September” has What “September” has Iterating words Brouhaha Tablet with yellow paper Seed coverings Sherlock’s favorite units?

Defib-paddle sites Has hash, e.g.

DOWN

Something to shoot for Flamenco shout NL West, e.g.

Featured dish Pt. of WNBA Aussie lassie Voice of Marge Simpson, Julie ___ (born on Sept. 7) Little prayers?

Paragraph starts End in ___ ___ packing Storage acronym The ___ Sea Flaky mineral 33-day pope of 1978

6

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9

16 Raggedy role for Audrey 17 Brunch time 19 Flaherty’s “Man of ___” 22 Dos x tres 24 Bard’s nightfall 25 4 on a cell 28 Levine of “The Voice” 29 First name in financial advice 30 Give a shot, perhaps 33 Treats, as swelling 36 Agenda topper 38 Getaways 39 Broadway Ethel 41 Satellite-radio star 43 British record label 44 Barista’s brew 45 Cat’s whisker 46 Called to mind 47 Fifth in NYC, e.g.

50 Baryshnikov’s nickname 51 New face on base 54 Stare pair 56 Mantel piece 57 Brighten (up) 58 Add numbers to (a book) 59 Health-food store supplement combo, for short 61 Changed, as boundaries

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115

K U D U

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34

70

77

112

T A G U P

22

40

61

73

107

E R T E

52

69

101

S L I T

A T N I Y T O P O F W A T A W L A I S

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S A T E

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38

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56

59

72

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25

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111

27

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55

105 106 108 109 110

21

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100 102 104

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20

23

62 64 66 67 69 73 75 76 78 79 81 82 84 85 87 90 91 93 94 95 97 99

109 110 111 113

114

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117

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BACKPAGE EDITORIAL

The real campaign finance scandal is how the system buttresses the major parties

R

ecently, the U.S. Senate advanced a constitutional amendment with the goal of keeping “dark money” out of the political process. The amendment only passed the filibuster stage; in order to become part of the U.S. Constitution, two-thirds of the Senate, two-thirds of the U.S. House, and two-thirds of the states would have to support it.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid supports the amendment because the U.S. Supreme Court decision in Citizens United permits “big spending by special interest groups.” The decision, he said, took the “power away from the American voter and instead [gave] it to a select few of mega billionaires.”

Other Democrats mirror Reid, including Sen. Al Franken (D, Minnesota) (though Franken seems to focus on the dishonesty of political ads, something not even discussed in the actual amendment).

So the solution to the power of “corporate special interests” is to grant the government (both federal and state) more power to regulate political speech. And the amendment isn’t very specific (which is likely intentional).

It permits Congress and states to “regulate the raising and spending of money and inkind equivalents with respect to … elections, including through setting limits on the amount of contributions to candidates … and the amount of funds that may be spent by … such candidates.” Thus, the regulation isn’t only over corporations, but also individuals.

The amount of power the amendment grants to Congress is likely never-ending. Similar to the 14th Amendment, this amendment would grant “Congress and the States [the] power to implement and enforce this article by appropriate legislation.” “Appropriate” basically means any legislation, though the recent Shelby County v. Holder decision sort of limits this power (but not really, as Shelby was more of a technical ruling).

But why does the government want more power? Why not reflect on how it contributes to the horrible election system — for example, the federal public funding program? This program provides matching payments to presidential primary candidates. While this

THE ELECTION GAME IS RIGGED

may sound good, the “candidate must establish eligibility by showing broad-based support. He or she must raise in excess of $5,000 in each of at least 20 states (i.e., over $100,000)” and may personally contribute only a “maximum of $250” per state, according to the Federal Elections Commission’s website. Additionally, the federal program provides general election funding: “The Presidential nominee of each major party may become eligible for a public grant of $20 million (plus a cost-of-livingadjustment) for campaigning in the general election.” A minor party candidate may get this benefit only if he or she is “the nominee of a party whose candidate received between 5 and 25 percent of the total popular vote in the preceding Presidential election.” Finally, the federal public funding program also provides convention funding (though President Obama recently signed legislation ending this type of funding — good job!): “Each major political party is entitled to $4 million (plus cost-of-living adjustments) to finance its national Presidential nominating convention. A qualified minor party may become eligible for partial convention funding based on its Presidential candidate’s share of the popular vote in the preceding Presidential election.”

If you aren’t angry yet, consider this: Since 2000, the federal government has provided the two major parties with more than $454 million to spend in the electoral process, compared to only $22 million for “other parties.” Yet corporations and “mega billionaires” are the problem?

In fact, this amount (and the rules of eligibility for minor parties) perfectly explains the problem of any potential public financing legislation in the future. The big names

have easy access to signatures and support.

They have the money to give away, as well as the patronage of public benefits. For the Libertarian Party, support is even more difficult because it wants to take these benefits away (who would vote to get rid of their monthly Social Security check?).

The federal public funding program contributes to the failure of the electoral process, as it subsidizes the two major political parties. Like corporate subsidies that act as a welfare program for those with power, thus hurting smaller corporations, the same result occurs for political third parties. It’s depressing, but more so is the fact that the state wants even more power to restrain competition in the governmentcontrolled marketplace of the election system.

But the problem isn’t just with Congress and the federal government. Most states have similar public financing programs. In Florida, for example, only a candidate for governor or a member of the Cabinet (e.g., attorney general) is eligible for public campaign financing.

But to be eligible, the candidate must raise $150,000 for gubernatorial races or $100,000 for Cabinet candidates.

In 2014, more than $1.6 million of public funds have been distributed to those running for Florida governor (though this amount hides the benefits Gov. Rick Scott has as the incumbent; all he has to do is call for a press conference and he gets free advertising!). All of these funds have been provided to only two Democrats; Libertarian candidate Adrian Wyllie, as well as the other seven candidates for governor (yes, there are more than two), have received zero public funds. And the election cycle isn’t even over yet, so Democrat Charlie

Why does the government want more power? Why not reflect on how it contributes to the horrible election system?

Crist may end up receiving even more money from Florida taxpayers.

The numbers are just as bad for the Florida attorney general position. Though “only” $500,000 has been provided to candidates, the only third-party candidate — Libertarian Bill Wohlsifer — has received nothing (most likely because he doesn’t meet the hefty $100,000 eligibility requirement).

And then there is the position of commissioner of agriculture, for which incumbent Adam Putnam has received almost $400,000 in public funds; $400,000 for the commissioner of agriculture? What does he even do? Oh, he’s in charge of concealed weapon permits for the state? What does that have to do with farming? Of course, the two challengers (one a Democrat) have received no public funds.

I didn’t learn any of this information about public campaign financing in Florida from any news outlet. Instead, I researched and discovered it on my own. Why is the current public financing scheme — whether federal or state — not up for debate in the Senate or by the TV pundits? Why are the two parties not voting on an amendment either getting rid of public campaign funding or at least decreasing the eligibility requirements? I’m sure you know why. Indeed, why would any major party member want to make it easier for a third-party candidate to actually have a chance in the political process? You’re right — it makes no sense! And who would’ve thought that by putting the two major parties in charge of legislation regarding campaign public financing, they would draft legislation to support themselves?

Yet we continue to vote for candidates of these two major political parties. We choose to vote for the lesser of two evils, again and again. And we also support an amendment granting even more power to Congress so that it can “properly” regulate election spending.

After all, they surely won’t pass any legislation just to support the major parties.

Right?

James Sorois mail@folioweekly.com

Folio Weekly welcomes Backpage Editorial submissions. Essays should be no more than 1,200 words and on a topic of local interest or concern. Email your Backpage to mail@folioweekly.com. Opinions expressed on the Backpage are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the editors or management of Folio Weekly.

OCTOBER 1-7, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39

40 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 1-7, 2014