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IN 1997,

DUVAL COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS BANNED TONY KUSHNER’S PULITZER PRIZE-WINNING PLAY

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OF BENEFIT

CONTENTS // MARCH 5-11, 2014 • VOLUME 27 • NUMBER 49

EDITOR’S NOTE

A Middle-Finger Salute

A 18

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ASTROLOGY MOVIES 25 COVER STORY 12 MAIL 5 I SAW YOU ARTS 29 OUR PICKS 16 CRIME CITY 7 This is a copyright protected proof © CROSSWORD DINING 32 MUSIC 18 NEWS 8 BACKPAGE BITE-SIZED THE KNIFE 22 SPORTSTALKFor questions, 10 please call your advertising representative at33 260-9770. Cover Design: Shan Stumpf FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 PUBLISHER • Sam Taylor staylor@folioweekly.com / ext. 111

EDITORIAL

EDITOR • Jeffrey C. Billman jbillman@folioweekly.com / ext. 115 A&E EDITOR • David Johnson djohnson@folioweekly.com / ext. 128 COPY EDITOR • Marlene Dryden mdryden@folioweekly.com / ext. 131 STAFF WRITER • Ron Word rword@folioweekly.com / ext. 132 CARTOONISTS Tom Tomorrow, Average Jim CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Rob Brezsny, Daniel A. Brown, John E. Citrone, Hal Crowther, Julie Delegal, Katie Finn, AG Gancarski, Nicholas Garnett, Claire Goforth Reed, S. Carson Howell, Dan Hudak, Shelton Hull, Amanda Long, Heather Lovejoy, Nick McGregor, Bonnie Mulqueen, Kara Pound, Chuck Shepherd, Merl Reagle, Melody Taylor, P.F. Wilson and Abigail Wright

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9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 Phone: 904.260.9770 • Fax: 904.260.9773

few weeks ago, I had a lunch meeting with a writer at a local Gator’s Dockside. I had the buffalo shrimp, which were, well, about what you’d expect from fried sports bar shellfish — not great, not terrible, just whatever. Long, understated and thoroughly unpleasant story short: They didn’t sit well. I mention this to offer context, to confess that perhaps my opinion of Gator’s was colored before I read last week that the Gator Group, which owns eight of the restaurants, including four in Jacksonville, started tacking on a 1 percent surcharge to its customers’ checks, a move the company blamed on the Affordable Care Act. Overnight, Gator’s became not just another in an endless sea of mediocre middlebrow chains, but a political restaurant — a cause célèbre on the right, touted by the Heritage Foundation’s blog as proof that “Obamacare is no free lunch,” and the object of scorn and derision on the left. If the Gator Group knew what they were getting into, they deserve every ounce of the fallout. If they didn’t, they’re hoplessly naïve. Either way, they roundly deserve the ol’ middle-finger salute. Some background: The health care law requires small businesses, like Gator’s, to offer insurance to 70 percent of their fulltime employees. The Gator Group already does so for its managers, but not the rest of its workers. Offering these 250 employees health care, the company says, could cost a half-million bucks a year. The surcharge, meanwhile, could net $160,000 annually. (The Gator Group’s beneficence, it seems, will make up the difference.) This is not, the company says, a political statement. (Uh-huh.) The signs and line items on checks are just there for transparency. (Sure.) They love their employees, one corporate flack told the media, and just want to keep them on fulltime, that’s all. (What kind souls.) Of course, the Gator Group (which, if you follow the company’s math, earns $16 million a year in revenue) didn’t love those employees enough to offer them insurance before Obamacare, even though, in general, you want food-service workers to be as healthy as possible. (At least I do.) And, it’s worth noting, the owners of the 13 Gator’s Docksides that aren’t part of the Gator Group haven’t felt the need to hit up their customers. As an independent Gator’s franchisee posted to Facebook: “I know that this is a very complex and divisive issue and would like to take the time to reassure you that this is not part of how we here at Gator’s Dockside Gainesville operate.” There is one upside here. One of the White House’s mistakes in selling health care reform was minimizing the real costs of disruption. If nothing else, the Gator Group is inadvertantly highlighting the fact that those costs are actually quite manageable. My buffalo shrimp cost $8.79. The surcharge, to make sure my waitress wouldn’t go broke if she faced a health-related emergency, would have amounted to 9 cents. Nine cents. I can live with that. Not that I’ll ever eat there again. Jeffrey C. Billman twitter/jeffreybillman jbillman@folioweekly.com

FULL EXPOSURE // DENNIS HO

DOG-DAY AFTERNOON: Eleven-year-old pit-bull Tag sits in a stroller by her mom, Lynsey Nellis, last Saturday, at the first Riverside Arts Market in 2014, under the Fuller Warren Bridge. Tag, who is arthritic and cannot walk sustained distances, survived cancer on her nose and eye and now has a clean bill of health.

MAIL The Sky Isn’t Falling

In lockstep with people like Congresswoman Corrine Brown, your opinion on the Michael Dunn case is based in emotion and hyperbole rather than the facts [Editor’s Note, “Some Justice. No Peace,” Jeffrey C. Billman, Feb. 19]. You and writer Susan Cooper Eastman [News, “Witness to the Prosecution,” Feb. 19] share the same slant toward making the shooting about politics and divisiveness. Let me ask you a question: Of all of the shootings prosecuted in Florida, how many were white-on-black, and how many used the Stand Your Ground defense? I think you probably know. If you are a young black man, who is more likely to kill you based on your race and appearance? A 40-year-old white man or another young black man? Again, don’t let facts stand in your way. You refer to Trayvon Martin, that Zimmerman looked at him and saw a criminal. Zimmerman was a neighborhood watch person and saw a suspicious individual walking through the houses at night, wearing a hoodie. First off, could he see Martin was a black man, and if so, does that matter? The fact is, Martin could have been up to no good, and if you listen to the 911 call, Zimmerman is not certain of the race, since Trayvon was covering his head. The Trayvon Martin shooting was a tragedy, but neither of them were angels. Zimmerman had a right in his capacity to challenge Martin, and Martin could have deescalated the situation, too. Respect the jury and the process regardless of your bias. You are incorrect, as is Eastman, to continue to bring up the Stand Your Ground defense. In

case you didn’t know, it was not used in either case. I know you don’t like guns and the law as it is, but don’t use a tragedy not related to the law to trash it. Dunn is an idiot who could have just moved on, and Davis is a youngster who should have turned the music down in respect to an elder. Are you saying an older black man would have not asked him? And would Davis have done the same thing? Was it about race for Davis, too? According the Davis family, and I wish you would respect them, it was not about race. Apparently, you know better. Objectively, look at the evidence, look at the crime statistics and please calm down and stop complaining that the sky is falling around us. And to be fair, I’d love to read an Editor’s Note on how race and Stand Your Ground matter in the black-on-black murders occurring every week in the Westside and surrounding areas. Where, please, is the same indignation and blame?

Refreshing

— J. Andrew Shlosser

Thank you for your insightful Editor’s Notes of the last few weeks. “Some Justice. No Peace” and “The Fragile Outdoors” [Feb. 19 and 26] were not only very well written but thoughtful, concise and important. Refreshing. Keep up the good work. Please. — Lori McAuley

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NEWS BUZZ The Food Truck War It popped up almost out of nowhere, without any warning, without any community input, and clearly without a sense of the issue it was designed to address: Last week, Jacksonville Councilman Reggie Brown introduced a draft bill that would have – whatever the intent – regulated the city’s food trucks into oblivion. “We want the business, but we need to find a way to coexist,” Brown told the media. “You have folks that are paying property taxes that feel that we’re ignoring them, and that’s not the case.” By “coexist,” he means that some stale brickand-mortar restaurants in the urban core are losing business to their more agile and inexpensive and convenient and interesting competitors, and this sort of free enterprise cannot stand. Hence, a crackdown. That’s not to say food trucks shouldn’t be regulated. Like any industry, they must be, and indeed they are all over the country. Just last year, for instance, Orlando passed an ordinance at the behest of brick-and-mortars requiring food trucks vendors to obtain a special permit and, in essence, stay out of that city’s downtown. And Brown has a point that Jacksonville’s regulations, outdated as they are, are ill equipped to deal with this burgeoning phenomenon (and the 21st century in general, but that’s for another time). The rules don’t even define what a food truck is, which seems a necessary starting point. Nor do they have a defined use in the city’s code. But what Brown wanted to do went well beyond that: Food trucks would be banned within 500 feet of a public park or facility, even on public property; have to close by midnight, which means they couldn’t compete for the late-night munchies crowd; have to be within 100 feet of a restroom, which, uh, sorta defeats the purpose of being a mobile food vendor; have to reduce their on-board refrigeration units to two, effectively reducing how much they could sell; and have to stay away from any and all residential neighborhoods, as well as areas zoned neighborhood commercial. In other words, a death sentence. Brown’s was a clumsy piece of legislation that would have strangled Jacksonville’s nascent food truck scene in its crib, a rusty chainsaw where a scalpel would do. Say what you want about ut the food truckers, they weren’t about to take this is lying down. When Brown held a hearing at City Hall last Wednesday, they showed owed up in force. And what they found was as a staggering amount of ignorance: “The more we talked yesterday, we found und out that they didn’t know we had health lth inspections or licenses or $1 million in insurance policies,” one food truckk owner told WJCT's First Coast Connect. nect. By the end of it, Brown had promised to form a committee of “stakeholders” to refine his legislation. So maybe somethingg good will come of this after all. Or, you know, ow, maybe not.

Puff, Puff, Pass It The Florida Legislature is, s, as of this n! Feel week, officially in session! that excited tingle up your our leg? We sure do. On the docket this year: the usual rogering in service of our corporate overlords, continued absolute fealty to the NRA, RA, election-year tax cuts, ongoing efforts to screw the poor, more school vouchers, a gambling bling expansion in South Florida, the annualized alized ritual of making sexual offenders’ lives more difficult, millions of tax dollars forr billionaire sports team owners, and nd one itty-bitty piece of legislation tion that will absolutely not pass but has us giddy 6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 5-11, 2014

nonetheless: HB 1039. Proposed by sophomore state Rep. Randolph Bracy, D-Ocoee, HB 1039 would, well, make marijuana legal. Not legal if you have a friendly doctor and cancer or a backache or carpal tunnel, but Colorado legal, no medical pretense needed. Under Bracy’s bill, you could possess up to two-anda-half ounces at a time, which sources tell us is a healthy amount for personal consumption, especially of the good stuff. The state would then regulate the marijuana industry and tax the hell out of it – the bill specifies a 10 percent sales tax dedicated to the state’s underfunded schools. So far, HB 1039 lacks a Senate companion or committee assignment, which in legislative terms means it’s already dead. Oh, well. But take heart, fellow degenerates. All is not lost. You’ll have the chance to approve a medical marijuana constitutional amendment this November. Even before that, there’s one medical marijuana bill that has a fighter’s chance at passage: HB 843, which would legalize a kind of bud that doesn’t get you high but has medicinal properties nonetheless. (Another bill that would, in essence, render the forthcoming pot referendum moot stands about the same chance as Bracy’s.) Oh, and if grass isn’t your thing, check out SB 406, which would erase one of the state’s last stodgy vestiges of Prohibition-era prudery, a ban on the craft-beer-industry-standard half-gallon growlers. (Thirty-two and 128-ounce bottles are totally cool, by the way, which makes perfect sense.) Microbrewers want it because, duh, it’s the most popular size in the 47 states where these growlers are legal. The big boys – Budweiser and other purveyors of beer-flavored swill – have killed previous such efforts because, duh, they like their near-monopoly. If nothing else, SB 406 will give us a window into how Tallahassee actually works: whether the Legislature really supports innovation and free enterprise, or if they’re just a bunch of hypocrites in thrall to megacorporations. — Jeffrey C. Billman

CRIME CITY

Stand Your Wallet

Behind the opposition to Stand Your Ground are lawyers with their hands out

f I hear more twaddle about Stand Your Ground, I’m gonna hurl. It’s a single sentence in Florida’s self-defense law that says, when attacked, you have no duty to retreat, but can shoot, stab, bludgeon, punch, kick or bite to save your life. Many states already have, or are adopting, similar language. The notoriety of the phrase derives from ignorance, willful and otherwise. Stand Your Ground sets the boundary for the area in which self-defense may lawfully occur. It was not applicable in the Trayvon Martin shooting, since George Zimmerman was not standing but, according to two eyewitnesses, flat on his back. It was equally inapplicable in the prosecution of Michael Dunn, who will spend the rest of his life in prison precisely because he did not stand his ground, but instead charged Jordan Davis, killed him, then fired into a retreating vehicle. Florida law denies selfdefense claims to aggressors. So why the uproar to change the law? A peek behind the political curtain will suffice. During Stand Your Ground appearances in the capitol rotundas of Tallahassee, Columbus, Ohio and Springfield, Ill., the weeping families of the dead stood front and center before the cameras. On either side, however, were the real players, the plaintiff ’s bar. Conspicuously absent were prosecutors, defense attorneys and police. Civil attorneys are not parties to prosecutions, so what’s their interest? It’s the second part of the Stand Your Ground law, which in Florida says: “A person who uses force as permitted … is justified in using such force and is immune from criminal prosecution and civil action.” In Stand Your Ground states, you can’t sue anyone for wrongful death and civil damages who is found to have acted in self-defense. Likewise, it’s nearly impossible to sue someone acquitted on the basis of self-defense. After a loved one is killed, it’s customary to call a personal injury lawyer before you call an undertaker. There’s no criticism here. It’s what people do. Violent death is a tragedy; it’s also a business opportunity. Let’s do some market research. In Jacksonville, between 80 and 90 guys get whacked each year. A percentage of these are insured. Frequently, someone else, such as a building owner, is insured and will be sued pro forma. Liability limits for individuals are generally $100,000 and up; building policies often top $1 million. Punch some calculator keys and you can see that Jacksonville murders could potentially generate millions in awards, of which 40 percent on average goes to attorneys.

Nice business if you can get it. In state capitals, injury attorneys speak for justice, but they lobby for money. Florida has a short, two-year statute of limitation on wrongful death claims, so in self-defense cases there’s often an unholy rush, accompanied by a media hullabaloo, to pressure insurance companies to cut the check before a judge grants immunity, or a jury acquits, or the clock runs out, and the prize vanishes. Trayvon Martin’s parents received approximately $600,000, and their attorneys $400,000, from the insurer of the Twin Lakes condominium where Martin died. Had the insurance company held out until after the verdict, it would have paid nothing. If George Zimmerman receives the anticipated $5 to 10 million from his lawsuit against NBCUniversal,

Jacksonville murders could potentially generate millions in awards. which doctored 911 tapes to make him appear racist, Trayvon’s parents will get zip. Zimmerman was acquitted. He’s got legal Teflon under the Kevlar he’s wearing these days. When personal injury attorneys, along with Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, parachuted into Tallahassee to hondle (that’s a portmanteau of “hoodwink” and “handle”) Gov. Rick Scott for a quick deletion of the immunity clause, he hondled them right back by appointing a blue ribbon commission and funding its months-long tour of Sunshine State. The commission — stacked, critics complained, with Stand Your Ground supporters — found, as expected, no enthusiasm for change. The only recommendation in the official report was to strengthen the law by extending self-defense lawsuit immunity to third parties. Fascinating, is it not? If this language passes into law, bosses, landlords, lessees, friends, lovers and those inconveniently proximate to a self-defender cannot be sued for the misfortune of being insured. Bet you didn’t read that in your daily news. To comprehend Stand Your Ground, ignore the show and look for the dough. After the media dim their lights and strike their tents, what remains is the dark struggle for money and power, with claws unsheathed and freshly sharpened, in the half-lights and shadows Of Crime City. Wes Denham mail@folioweekly.com MARCH 5-11, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7

NEWS

STOP IGNORING THEM: Colleen Wood of the Network for Public Education argues that lawmakers should listen to teachers. Photo: Dennis Ho

Bad Grades

Florida’s flawed school-grading system: We can’t dump it, so how do we make it better?

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n a move that acknowledges that Florida’s school-grading system is deeply flawed, policymakers are calling for changes to the A-through-F rating scheme. Florida Education Commissioner Pam Stewart and Duval County Public Schools Superintendent Nikolai Vitti have chimed in on proposed reforms, while leaders at the Jacksonville Public Education Fund (JPEF), a local think tank, say it’s time for a complete overhaul. These grades are important to schools because they affect enrollment — parents want to send their kids to good schools — which in turn affects a school’s operational budget. The more students a school attracts, the more funds it receives. School grades also impact teacher bonuses — and possibly property values, too. Many teachers and parents, however, contend that the whole concept is folly, part and parcel of the two-prong corporate reform ideology: high-stakes tests and privatization. “School grades have become an annual hoax,” Florida Education Association President Andy Ford told Folio Weekly. “The constantly changing system is manipulative and cannot be trusted.” Colleen Wood agrees. Wood is a St. Johns County parent-advocate who serves on the national Network for Public Education (NPE), which was founded by former Assistant U.S. Education Secretary Diane Ravitch, an early high-stakes testing apologist who has since, and very publicly, changed her mind. “School grades at this point in Florida show us how data can be manipulated for ideological purposes,” Wood says. “[They point] out the obvious — that a school in a high-need neighborhood is failing. It’s as if we’re saying, ‘We know your school is struggling; we’re going to tell you you’re failing and we’re going to punish you for it. We’re going to change everything at the school and destabilize you when what you need most is stability.’ ” Indeed, schools that receive poor grades often suffer funding losses, personnel shakeups and even closures. “We can brand a school with a grade,” Wood says, “when what we should be doing is monitoring the growth of students and making sure they have the resources they need.” Despite frequent and vocal protests from parents and teachers, though, and given the

political climate in Tallahassee, school grades are almost certainly here to stay. Even those who hate them acknowledge that. So instead, they’re looking to the forthcoming shift from FCAT to a Common Core-based Florida test as a chance to improve the system. “There’s such an opportunity now,” says JPEF President Trey Csar.

by JPEF in January — School Grades: Understanding and Updating Grades for Florida’s Future — notes that the state’s schoolevaluation system and its components have changed 16 times since just 2010. One change that caused grief for students, teachers, schools and state officials was the ramped-up writing standard begun in 2012.

“How many times have educators and superintendents been patently ignored?”

n 1999, a newly elected Gov. Jeb Bush pushed through his A+ education plan. Two years later, the current school-grading system came into being, four years after the first round of FCAT testing, which began under Gov. Lawton Chiles. The A+ plan was ostensibly an accountability measure for public schools that would also serve as a guide for families. The scheme ranks schools on an A-through-F scale based in large part on how students perform on the FCAT, an annual standardized test. From the beginning, critics have argued that these grades are really intended to highlight “failing” schools in order to sell charter and voucher schools, which in turn drain dollars from the public school mission. (Indeed, the A+ plan included school vouchers for students in struggling schools, which the students could use for, among other options, religious schools. In 2006, however, the Florida Supreme Court declared the vouchers unconstitutional, preventing Bush from using public funds for private schools. In reaction, Republicans created a back door: the Florida Tax Credit Scholarship Program, which funnels tax dollars to the voucherawarding corporation now known as Step Up for Students.) The main problem with the current schoolgrading system is that its credibility has taken too many hits in too few years. Confusion about the grading system abounds, thanks to a history of shifting proficiency goalposts on the FCAT and changes to the school-grading formula. A brief published

FCAT “pass” scores for writing were raised from a 3 to a 3.5. But when students didn’t do well, the pass scores were readjusted back down to a 3 for 2012, and then back up to a 3.5 for 2013. “There was a devastating effect on school grades, even where kids did better,” Vitti says of the 2012 recalibration. “It also had a devastating effect on the morale of teachers and students.” While Vitti says he understands the need to periodically increase standards, changing the rules midstream can result in what he calls “the LeBron James effect. Seventy percent of LeBron James’ shots are three points. If you move that line back, he’s going to lose points” even if he sinks the same percentage of shots. The points he makes will count for less. “People are frustrated and disillusioned with the accountability system.” School officials, in fact, were so frustrated that, after Florida ratcheted up the goal posts, it had to institute a two-year “safety net” to prevent schools from falling more than a letter grade at a time. That led to questions about which grade was “real” — the raw grade or the safety-net grade. As this safety net was being established, it came to light that then-Education Commissioner Tony Bennett had engaged in a similar grade-tinkering process as head of the Indiana school system. The Associated Press reported last July that Bennett’s changes resulted in an A for Christel House Academy Charter School, a pet project of a major GOP donor. Minus the change, the school would have scored a C. (Bennett resigned as Florida education commissioner a few days later, less than eight months after taking the job.)

NEWS Statewide, Bennett’s safety net prevented plummeting grades in 388 schools and cut the number of failing schools by at least half. In Duval County, the safety net kept KIPP charter school from dropping to a D, and Duval Charter School at Arlington from plunging to an F.

he thrust of JPEF’s January brief is that the current system slants toward what’s called grade-level proficiency, without enough focus on whether students below grade level are improving. One reason is that the A-through-F formula permits only a year-to-year snapshot of student growth, which fluctuates wildly at troubled schools and therefore results in a grade that may better reflect student demographics than actual teacher effectiveness, Csar says. With the system focused on proficiency, Csar says, “It’s easier for kids in easy situations. If you’re way down in proficiency, you can still move a long way and get no credit for growth.” Vitti agrees. “You certainly want to measure growth because kids come in behind and schools want to demonstrate that they’re making a difference with kids.” JPEF argues that the state should ditch the snapshot view and replace it with a long-term view of student and school progress. Doing so, the think tank argues, would account for the dramatic fluctuations at struggling schools. After all, the research shows that student improvements occur in multi-year cycles. “There’s an ebb and flow to it,” Vitti says. The superintendent also supports JPEF’s proposal to keep constant all test and schoolgrading criteria for five years at a time; under this proposal, schools would be neither punished nor rewarded during the years that tests or grading formulas are changed. Multi-year measures would also enable educators to track peer groups. Instead of comparing the progress of one year’s thirdgraders to another year’s third-graders, for example, this cohort model would use multiple years to track student progress over time: The same group of third-graders could be examined in fourth grade, fifth grade and so on, giving school officials a clearer view of their team’s strengths and weaknesses. JPEF also wants to alter the grading scale so schools aren’t bunched in the A and F categories. Currently, the A range encompasses a very broad 275-point span, and the F range is 320 points wide. The B, C and D ranges are much narrower: 30, 60 and 40 points, respectively. Simply put, a school doesn’t have far to go to change from a B to a D or vice versa.

JPEF wants to make each letter grade worth 120 points. This, however, would mean fewer A’s overall, which worries officials in more affluent districts that benefit from the emphasis on proficiency, like St. Johns County School District’s Superintendent Joseph Joyner. If 80 percent of schools make A’s, Joyner told the Times-Union, “That means we’re doing well.”

he state’s buzzword these days is “simplify.” Commissioner Stewart highlighted that concept in her presentation to the Florida Board of Education on Feb. 18, calling for the removal of the complex weighting system that accounts for a school’s lowest achievers. She also wants to get rid of college-readiness measures for high schools, along with points for accelerated coursework (e.g., Advanced Placement or International Baccalaureate courses), and a component about graduation rates for at-risk students. While Vitti agrees with the idea of simplifying the formula, he opposes Stewart’s proposal. In a letter to the state’s education board, Vitti expressed his “deep concerns” over these suggested changes: “I believe the currently proposed changes at the high school level reverses our state’s progress with advancing a ‘college going’ culture among all of our schools and students, especially those from disadvantaged and minority backgrounds.” Last week, state Sen. Bill Montford, D-Tallahassee, filed a bill that would suspend school grades until Florida fully transitions to the new Common Core-based system. While Stewart says grades on the first round of new tests won’t be used to reward or punish schools, educators say one year isn’t enough. After all, the schools used FCAT for four years before implementing it as the basis for the all-important grades. And here’s another important point: Except for asking Florida to take a hiatus from grading schools, those educators are conspicuously missing from this public debate. Perhaps that’s because they’re too busy suing the state in federal court over the current teacher-evaluations model, which they contend is unconstitutional. Or maybe, given their longstanding objections to high-stakes-test-based grading schemes, teachers are simply tired of being disregarded. “We’re always trying to tell schools what to do. That’s not support,” says Wood, the St. Johns education activist. “Support is lawmakers not just listening to teacher testimony but taking action on it. How many times have educators and superintendents been patently ignored?” Julie Delegal mail@folioweekly.com

TEACH THE CHILDREN WELL: Nikolai Vitti, pictured with his family, says the state should focus on students’ growth. Photo: Dennis Ho MARCH 5-11, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9

SPORTSTALK

Field of Schemes

The deal Big League Dreams is offering gullible Clay County officials is a sucker’s bet

10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 5-11, 2014

fter months in the shadows, Clay County’s aspirations to lure a Big League Dreams franchise to Middleburg are finally getting the public scrutiny they so richly deserve. Last month, the Florida Department of Law Enforcement announced that it’s investigating allegations that the Clay County Development Authority violated state open records and public meeting laws while negotiating a deal with the company to build a baseball-themed entertainment park. Joe Riley, one of two Clay County residents who filed complaints with the FDLE last fall, has accused the county of negotiating with Big League Dreams outside of the Sunshine law. And indeed, last year the county commission asked one of its board members to privately hammer out a deal (though the county insists this is not illegal). You need only read the county auditor’s report to realize why they’d want to keep the public in the dark: This is a sucker’s bet, a sham that only the gullible could support. The deal would work like this: Clay County would agree to build the facility, which the county estimated would cost $15 million but Michael T. Price, the auditor, says would more likely clock in around $25 million or higher. To pay for it, the county would use the projected leftovers from a road-construction bond it took out five years ago, as it can’t secure bonds for the project without putting it to a public referendum. (Big League Dreams generously offered to lend the county the money to build Big League Dreams’ facility, which the county would then pay back to Big League Dreams, with interest. For some reason, Price does not think this a wise move.) In exchange for this investment, the county would receive a portion of Big League Dreams’ profits for the next 30 years. A very small portion. Between 1997 and 2011, Big League Dreams paid out between $11 million and $16 million to its nine government partners, all of which are in the Southwest (the Middleburg deal is its first venture east of the Mississippi). Those governments had shelled out $219 million to build Big League Dreams’ stadiums — meaning they’ve collectively recouped just 7 percent of their expenditures. Big League Dreams has claimed that by building this facility Clay County will, with

revenue-sharing and maintenance-fee savings, earn $24.4 million over the next three decades. This is fanciful at best. The revenue-sharing will bring in about $200,000 a year. The projected maintenance-fee savings make up the rest — $19 million — and they are as real as Rick Ross’ thug gimmick. “This representation is likely true if Big League Dreams were to take over management of an existing facility and agree to obligate itself for these costs,” Price reports. “However, since we currently do not incur such costs, then maintenance savings is not a benefit to Clay County.”

You need only read the county auditor’s report to realize why they’d want to keep the public in the dark: This is a sham that only the gullible could support. In less bureaucratic words, bullshit. Which brings us to Big League Dreams’ last promise: economic development. The company has promised the county that this facility will add $30 million in economic growth. Of course, under a best-case scenario, this will translate into only $150,000 in tax revenue. So for its $25 million investment, the county will get back only $350,000 a year; or, to put it another way, if everything goes right, the county will only lose $14.5 million. “The payback period for this project would be between 75 and 125 years under the most optimistic conditions,” Price told county commissioners. What a deal. The county could take that $13 million in projected leftover bond money and pave 17 miles of road or build needed drainage projects or fire stations or parks or a new library. Or it could give it to an out-of-state company. Tough choice. AG Gancarski twitter/aggancarski mail@folioweekly.com

MARCH 5-11, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11

IN 1997,

DUVAL COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS BANNED TONY KUSHNER’S PULITZER PRIZE-WINNING PLAY

‘ANGELS IN AMERICA.’

BY CLA IR

NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME, A LOCAL THEATER GROUP IS BRINGING IT TO A

NORTHEAST FLORIDA STAGE

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E G O FO RTH

his story begins, as so many do, with an angry parent. In 1997, the mother of a student at Douglas Anderson School of the Arts learned that her kid’s advanced theater class was going to read and discuss Angels in America, Tony Kushner’s Pulitzer Prizeand Tony Award-winning 1991 play, an undeniably seminal work in the pantheon of American theater. She became, in the words of Jane Condon, the school’s principal from 1986 to 1996, “quite agitated. There was always a choice. [The students] were given a choice and if any parents wanted them not to read it, we provided an alternative assignment. This parent was not satisfied with that.” The mother — whom Condon remembers as the owner of a Christian bookstore, though she can’t remember her name — took her case to the school board, where she found a sympathetic ear in board member Linda Sparks. Controversy ensued. The news media were called, and reported (wrongly) that the school was going to actually perform the play, not merely study it in a classroom. The school board convened a committee, which voted to “remove” — a more pleasant euphemism for ban — the play from Duval schools. (Today, Angels is one of 10 literary works deemed too dangerous for the young minds in Duval County schools.) It was too adult. Too profane. Too inappropriate. And it was most certainly too gay.

Told in two parts, Kushner’s highly nuanced, enigmatic seven-hour work isn’t what you’d consider family-friendly, at least in the Disney sense of the term. The play fearlessly, but with a sense of humor and camp, explores love, politics, race, death, homosexuality and AIDS in a 1980s America that is cracking open and breaking apart. It features deeply flawed and complex characters and themes: a gay couple who break up because one is too weak and selfish to care for a deteriorating partner; a Valium-addicted, sex-starved Mormon housewife and her deeply closeted gay Mormon husband; a villainous, closeted homosexual and conservative political figure who categorically denies his AIDS diagnosis even as he wastes away; a plethora of bad language; a sex act between two men. It’s that last part that’s especially important: If the play were about heterosexuals, no one would have cared, let alone demand its censure. Tennessee Williams’ A Streetcar Named Desire includes alcohol abuse and violence against women, including a (heterosexual) rape; Sophocles’ Oedipus Rex delves into incest; J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye oozes with profanity and teenage rebellion; Shakespeare’s plays are rife with adult themes — Hamlet alone is a smorgasbord of the risqué. All are kosher in Duval County schools. Angels is not. It wasn’t in 1997. It wasn’t three years later, in 2000, when a teacher at Paxon School for Advanced Studies literally ripped the play out of her students’ college-level literature textbooks — even though she wasn’t actually teaching the play — after a student’s mother complained. (That same year, Sparks, who did not return calls for comment, tried and failed to ban Allen Ginsberg’s Howl, which also features gay sex.) And it’s still not in 2014.

“W

ho on the right side of history ever called for burning books, banning books?” asks

“The fear has been, don’t breathe on the theater or it will fall down. We’re not viewed as a cultural epicenter.”

Sam Fisher. On March 16, Fisher will direct Players by the Sea’s production of Angels in America: Part I: Millennium Approaches. (Players will perform Part II: Perestroika, next year.) In most places, this would be a non-event. Angels has been staged all over the world. It’s been turned into an opera that aired on PBS. It’s been made into an Emmy-winning HBO miniseries starring Al Pacino. A 2010 national poll of theater professionals by The Denver Post ranked it behind Arthur Miller’s Death of a Salesman as the second-most important American play of all time. And while the play was once very polarizing and very controversial, that’s no longer really the case, not in this day and age, when 17 states and the District of Columbia allow gays and lesbians to legally wed, when there are openly gay professional athletes and politicians and TV characters, when the forces of discrimination are quite obviously waning. But Northeast Florida is not most places. In fact, Players’ production will mark the first time Angels has ever seen a local stage. “It’s a really important time to do it here, I

think, right in the middle of this change that is going on,” says Daniel Austin, who plays the effeminate, AIDS-afflicted protagonist Prior Walter. Here it’s not just a play; it’s a statement. Whether Players’ production is any good or not doesn’t really matter. Nor does it matter if you think Kushner’s play is genius (as I do) or an “overwrought, coarse, posturing, formulaic mess” lauded only for its subject matter, as a New Republic critic wrote in 2003. What matters — both for this city and its (let’s be honest) less-than-daring theater scene — is that it’s happening at all. In the early ’90s, Angels offered the gay community a beacon of hope in a world beset by discrimination and hatred and death. Could it signal the same two decades later for a city in the midst of an identity crisis?

ortheast Florida isn’t the only place where Angels ignited a battle in the culture war. In 1996, after a theater company in Charlotte announced that it would be performing the play, protests raged. Public officials threatened to jail the actors. The publicly owned theater’s management threatened to bar the company’s access to the building. In the end, it took a state judge’s order for the show to go on. But Charlotte has evolved since then. Mecklenburg County has protected its LGBT citizens from discrimination since 2005. Even in 2014, Jacksonville does not — no human rights ordinance, no domestic partnership registry, nothing. The Bold New City is open for business but not quite open-minded. And while other cities experience cultural enlightenment, many of our leaders seem quite happy to sit in the dark, hoping no one dares turn on the light. That’s not to say things haven’t gotten better. Local attorney and a`ctivist Carrington “Rusty” Mead recalls that in the ’90s, “LGBT people were often harassed when they were in a ‘straight’ area. We had certain areas of town where we belonged [and] the reputations of

Actors Daniel Austin (left) and Kelby Siddons.

PHOTO BY DENNIS HO MARCH 5-11, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13

It could be that they don’t know about the play, those areas was quite negative.” but it seems equally likely that they don’t care That’s not so anymore. But it’s one thing enough to comment. to share a neighborhood with someone; it’s Would that mean the old battle cries no another to give a damn about the way the city treats him — in silence lies complicity and in longer carry the same currency? complicity, acquiescence. If so, then all you’re left with is the play In spite of the two decades that have slipped itself. That’s fine, says Austin. They just want away since Angels first debuted, the play to put on a great performance. Fostering a remains particularly relevant here. dialogue is just icing. “I like doing art here,” Austin says. “I “We’re not doing anything wrong,” he like doing shows here. I feel that I can make told me. “We’re performing a Pulitzer Prizean impact. Here you can winning production.” do things like [Angels] That should be enough. and it can actually have a On a spring-warm night Players by the community impact.” in mid-February, I sat in Sea’s Main Stage 106 Sixth St. N., Throughout the ages, the the theater with Fisher and Jacksonville Beach, 249-0289, arts have provided a forum a few other souls to watch playersbythesea.org to challenge oppression and a vibrant group of actors March 14, 15, 20-23, 27-29. question the moral majority. rehearse Act Three. Though 8 p.m. Thur.-Sat.; 2 p.m. Sun. And though its music early in the rehearsal General Admission $23; Student/Military/Senior $20 and visual arts scenes are process, the energy that becoming ever more vibrant, danced across the lines and Jacksonville’s theatrical moved around the stage was community is still a tween, caught between mesmerizing, as was the fluid chemistry among infantile productions of antiquated classics and the actors, none of whom have previously more mature fare. worked together. Having not seen Angels for several years, “The fear has been, don’t breathe on [the I’d forgotten the glittering black comedy theater] or it will fall down,” Fisher says. and poignant, heartbreaking moments that “We’re not viewed as a cultural epicenter, punctuate one of the greatest, perhaps the which wouldn’t be embarrassing if we weren’t greatest, play of my lifetime. As they laughed so large.” and joked and eyed the nosy reporter in their midst, there was an inescapable sense that layers by the Sea says it isn’t producing each is aware they are taking on a great and the play just to antagonize those who important production in a city that is finally, oppose LGBT rights. At the same time, finally, finally (hopefully) ready. however, it’s fair to say they’re rather openly Whether they inspire protests and rage or courting (if not hoping for) controversy. Austin foster a dialogue that softens hearts and opens told me he believes at least a few audience minds — or a little of both, or neither — they members will walk out. But what if they don’t? are putting it all on the stage, as written, come What if, to borrow a phrase, Players throws a what may. party and no one shows up? “My fear is that, like a lot of great art in I called two of the most vocal opponents of the city, it will happen, people will applaud LGBT rights on the Jacksonville City Council, and then it will be over and nothing will be Don Redman and Kimberly Davis, to see if different,” Fisher says. they had anything to say. Neither returned my Let’s hope not. calls. Same goes for Jeff Burnsed, senior pastor at Coral Ridge Baptist Ministries, who publicly Claire Goforth thanked the Lord after the City Council mail@folioweekly.com rejected the human rights ordinance in 2012.

The Banned List

Of the nine books and one magazine currently “removed” from Duval County Public Schools, Angels and Even Cowgirls Get the Blues by Tom Robbins are the only ones you’re likely to recognize. Cowgirls, the most recent removal, pulled during the ’97-’98 school year, includes lesbian sex acts. Curiously, for the last 16 years, nothing has been found offensive or inappropriate enough to warrant removal. (Tia Ford, Duval County Public School’s supervisor of external communications and media relations, says that anyone who would like to challenge a removal may fill out a form to ask the district to reconsider.) DCPS’s forbidden literary works are:

Angels in America by Tony Kushner Don’t Call Me Little Bunny by Gregoire Solotareff: An illustrated book

about a rabbit that goes on a crime spree, is jailed, escapes and is protected from consequences by his grandfather. Even Cowgirls Get the Blues by Tom Robbins: The comedic tale of a young model with abnormally large thumbs who becomes a hitchhiker and experiences various adventures. It includes drug use and various sex acts, both heterosexual and otherwise.

The Hand Book: All Kinds of Jokes, Tricks and Games to do with Your Hands by Lassor Blumenthal: The title sums it up pretty well. Jogging: A Love Story by Sandra Hochman: A Manhattan art dealer engages in

a series of disappointing romantic relationships. This book includes a number of sex acts. Revolting Rhymes by Roald Dahl: This book has parodies of traditional folk tales, some with less-than-moral endings. Schmucks: A Novel by Seymour Blicker: Blicker tells the story of a late-night alleyway standoff between two men driving trucks, neither of whom realizes he is a schmuck. Skindeep by Toeckey Jones: Set in South Africa during apartheid, this book explores discrimination through a teenager who learns a shocking secret about her boyfriend. There’s A Pig in Every Crowd by illustrator Kimble Mead and Steve Henry: No synopsis available. Thrasher, a skateboarding magazine — Claire Goforth

14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 5-11, 2014

The Mustard Seed Cafe Located inside Nassau Health Foods, The Mustard Seed is Amelia Island’s only organic eatery and juice bar, with an extensive, eclectic menu featuring vegetarian and vegan items. Daily specials include local seafood, free-range chicken and fresh organic produce. Salads, wraps, sandwiches and soups are available — all prepared with our staff’s impeccable style. Popular items are chicken or veggie quesadillas, grilled mahi, or salmon over mixed greens and tuna melt with Swiss cheese and tomato. Open for breakfast and lunch, 8 a.m.-3 p.m. Mon.Sat. nassauhealthfoods.net

833 T.J. Courson Road 904-277-3141

Lulu’s at The Thompson House Lulu’s owners, Brian and Melanie Grimley, offer an innovative lunch menu, including po’boys, salads and seafood “little plates” served in the gardens of the historic Thompson House. Dinner features fresh local seafood (Fernandina shrimp is the focus every Thursday), and nightly specials. An extensive wine list and beer are available. Open for lunch and dinner Tue.-Sat., brunch on Sun. Reservations are recommended.

11 S. Seventh Street 904-432-8394

PLAE Restaurant & Lounge Located in the Spa & Shops at Amelia Island Plantation, PLAE serves bistro-style cuisine. The full bar lounge at PLAE has become an instant classic, with artistic décor and live entertainment nightly. Now you can PLAE during the day, too! Open for lunch Tue.-Sat. 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. Open at 5:30 p.m. for dinner daily; reservations accepted.

80 Amelia Village Cir. 904-277-2132

Moon River Pizza

Cafe Karibo Homemade sandwiches, salads and soups are served in a relaxed atmosphere in this charming building in the historic district. Delicious fresh fish specials and theme nights (Pad Thai and curry), plus vegetarian dishes, are also featured. Karibrew Brew Pub & Grub — the only one on the island — offers on-site beers and great burgers and sandwiches.

27 N. Third Street 904-277-5269

29 South Eats This chic, neighborhood bistro has it all — great ambience, fantastic food, an extensive wine list and reasonable prices. The eclectic menu offers regional cuisine with a modern whimsical twist and Chef Scotty Schwartz won Best Chef in Folio Weekly’s 2007 Best of Jax readers poll. Open for lunch Tues.-Sat., 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m., for dinner 5:30-9:30 p.m. Mon.-Thur., till 10 p.m. Fri. and Sat. Brunch is 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Sun. 29southrestaurant.com.

29 S. Third Street 904-277-7919

Brett’s Waterway Café Overlooking Fernandina Harbor Marina, Brett’s offers an upscale atmosphere with outstanding food. The extensive luncheon and dinner menus feature daily specials, fresh Florida seafood, chicken and aged beef. Cocktails, beer and wine. Casual resort wear. Open at 11:30 a.m. daily.

Fernandina Harbor Marina at the foot of Centre Street 904-261-2660

T-Ray’s Burger Station

Moon River Pizza treats customers like family. Cooked in a brick oven, the pizza is custom-made by the slice (or, of course, by the pie). Set up like an Atlanta-style pizza joint, Moon River also offers an eclectic selection of wine and beers. Open for lunch and dinner Mon.-Sat. Dine in or take it with you.

T-Ray’s offers a variety of breakfast and lunch items. In addition to an outstanding breakfast menu, you’ll find some of the best burgers you’ve ever put in your mouth. The Burger Station offers a grilled portabello mushroom burger, grilled or fried chicken salad and much more. The spot where locals grab a bite and go! Now serving beer & wine. Open Mon.-Fri. 7 a.m.-2:30 p.m., Sat. 8 a.m.-1 p.m. Closed Sundays.

925 S. 14th Street 904-321-3400

202 S. Eighth Street 904-261-6310

Ciao Italian Bistro You’ll find this charming Italian Bistro located in the heart of Amelia Island’s Historic District. Whether dining indoors or outside on our covered patio, your experience will be a memorable one. Choose from a fantastic menu filled with authentic homemade Italian dishes and a wine list that will leave your palate pleased. Contact us for reservations or catering needs. Open Sun.-Thurs. at 5 p.m., Fri. and Sat. at 11:30 a.m.

302 Centre Street 904-206-4311

Sliders Seaside Grill Oceanfront dining at its finest. Award-winning crab cakes, fresh daily seafood specials and homemade desserts. Sliders has Amelia Island’s only waterfront Tiki Bar, as well as a children’s playground and live music every weekend. The dining experience is complete with brand-new second-story banquet facilities, bar and verandah. Open at 11 a.m. daily Mon.-Fri. Make Sliders Seaside Grill your place to be for friends and family, entertainment and the best food on the East Coast. Call for your next special event.

1998 S. Fletcher Ave. 904-277-6652

Jack & Diane’s

The locals’ favorite hangout! Dine inside or on the patio of this cozy, renovated 1887 shotgun home in historic downtown Fernandina. From the crab & shrimp omelet to the steak & tomato pie, “The tastiest spot on Centre” offers food with attitude and unexpected flair. Live music elevates your dining experience to a new level. Come for breakfast, stay for dinner! You’ll love every bite! 708 Centre Street 904-321-1444

David’s Restaurant & Lounge Located in the Historic District, David’s is a place to have a dining experience, not just dinner. Offering the freshest seafood from around the world and serving only the finest prime aged meats. Dover sole, Chilean sea bass, soft shell crab & nightly fresh fish special. Filet Oscar, rack of lamb & and our signature 16oz grilled-to-perfection ribeye always available. Add foie gras or a Maine lobster tail to any entrée. Elegant but chic atmosphere. Bar & lounge with live music and complimentary valet parking on Fri. & Sat. nights. Private dining offered up to 12 guests in our Wine Room. Private parties up to 50. Wine Spectator rated. Lounge open 5 p.m.: open 6 p.m. for dinner, nightly. Reservations highly recommended. AmeliaIslandDavids.com

802 Ash Street 904-310-6049

Amelia Island is 13 miles of unspoiled beaches, quaint shops, antique treasures and superb dining in a 50-block historic district less than one hour north of Jacksonville MARCH 5-11, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15

Our Picks

SCAN THIS PAGE WITH LAYAR

Reasons to leave the house this week

FILM & DISCUSSION FROM SWASTIKA TO JIM CROW

Told by those who witnessed it, this documentary is the story of Jewish-German refugee professors who, expelled from their homeland by Nazis, found new lives in the historically black colleges of the American South. The event includes a concert, the film screening and a panel discussion led by awardwinning filmmaker Steven Fischler and Dr. Donald Cunnigan. In partnership with WJCT, the Cummer commemorates the 50th anniversary of the Civil Rights Movement with One Family: Photographs by Vardi Kahana, which examines the Jewish-Israeli narrative. 5:30-8:30 p.m. March 11 at WJCT Studios, Northbank, free (registration required).

WRITERS’ FESTIVAL

RICHARD FORD

Students and community writers, prepare to get your creative juices flowing. Douglas Anderson School of the Arts presents the 2014 Writer’s Festival, featuring Pulitzer Prize-winning author Richard Ford (pictured). “He is gifted in creating characters that are never what they appear to be,” says festival coordinator Liz Flaisig, head of the school’s Creative Writing Department. The festival includes workshops by nationally renowned writers followed by a reading, Q&A session and a book-signing with Ford. Festival, UNF’s Student Center, 8:30 a.m., $35-$70; Ford reading and book signing only, $20, 7 p.m. March 8, UNF’s Robinson Theater, Southside.

JAZZ EARL KLUGH & NNENNA FREELON

“Jazz washes away the dust of everyday life,” legendary jazz drummer Art Blakey once said. Smooth jazz artists Earl Klugh and Nnenna Freelon will cleanse the soul in the intimate Riverside Fine Arts series concert. Between them, they have 19 Grammy nominations (13 and a win for Klugh), and Klugh has proved a jazz-fusion guitar virtuoso. The soulful Freelon (pictured) has shared the stage with Ray Charles, Anita Baker and Dianne Reeves, but none of those pairings captivates quite like Klugh and Freelon. 7:30 p.m. March 6, Church of the Good Shepherd, Riverside, $20.

SURE PICK FROM MEMPHIS WITH LOVE LUCERO

There is one, and only one, proper way to watch Lucero: around 1 a.m. drinking a PBR in a tiny corner honky-tonk reeking of cheap whiskey and, if you’re lucky, stale cigarette smoke, a place where Ben Nichols’ voice-on-the-edge rasp and his band’s alt-country-by-way-of-Memphis-soul music can be appreciated in the half-loaded stupor it so richly deserves, surrounded by half-loaded people slurring every damn word of “My Best Girl” along with you. Which is to say, this gig at Mavericks at the Landing may not be ideal – they’re opening for Dropkick Murphys (um?) – but what in life is, really? Sometimes good enough is good enough. And Lucero is always good enough. 6 p.m. March 6 at Mavericks at The Jacksonville Landing, Downtown, $25, 356-1110.

OLD-TIME STRING BAND CAROLINA CHOCOLATE DROPS

Take a second and go listen to Carolina Chocolate Drops’ take on Blu Cantrell’s R&B semi-classic “Hit ’Em Up Style.” We’ll wait. (Fingers tap impatiently.) So we’ll see you at the show, then. Want to join us as CCD evangelists? Tell your friends how the old-time string band’s 2010 album Genuine Negro Jig won a Grammy for Best Traditional Folk Album. Show them where Rolling Stone lauded the band’s “dirt-floor dance electricity.” Point out that many of CCD’s songs – and they’re mostly covers – date back to the ’20s and ’30s, and how CCD is keeping alive a very vital flame of American music history, specifically the traditional Southern black music of the Carolinas. But really, one listen should suffice. Worked for you, didn’t it? 8 p.m. March 6 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, Ponte Vedra Beach, $40-$50, 209-0399.

VISUAL ARTS OCEAN FLOORS

Sculptor Celeste Roberge brings art and science together in Ocean Floors, an exhibit of her latest work that uses a type of seaweed called “sea lace.” Roberge began researching the plant in 2008 after a trip to Nova Scotia, incorporating it into her work by casting her sculptures in sea lace. Roberge’s art emphasizes the fragility of that underwater world. For the exhibit, Roberge asked museum director Julie Dickover to screen the documentary A Man Named Pearl, which influenced her pieces. Reception 5-9 p.m. March 7; exhibits through April 19 at Flagler College’s Crisp-Ellert Art Museum. Film screens 7 p.m. March 26 at Gamache-Koger Theater, St. Augustine. 16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 5-11, 2014

ALTERNATIVE ROCK MATRIMONY

At first blush, starting a band with a spouse and a sibling might seem a poor move. Most bands are sick of each other after a few hours of rehearsal – add to that the drama of living together. Yet Matrimony, an alt-rock outfit steeped in Southern culture from a North Carolina upbringing, sets a strong example to keep it in the family. Songs like “Mecklenburg Co. Jail” visit one of Johnny Cash’s favorite subjects (prison blues) with palm-muted guitar, banjo twang and vocalist Ashlee Hardee Brown’s gentle, almost falsetto voice. Her singing is in contrast the band’s other vocalist, Jimmy Brown (also her spouse), who adds a grittier, rougharound-the-edges style to the bloodline. 8 p.m. March 8 at Jack Rabbits, San Marco, $10 (in advance).

MARCH 5-11, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17

A&E // MUSIC

PRODIGIOUS TALENT: Austin native Sarah Jarosz has turned out four superb albums by age 22. The mandolin, banjo and guitar player makes a special swing into Florida for the Natural Life Music Festival on March 16. Photo: Scott Simontacchi

Organic Upgrade

The free, family-friendly Natural Life Music Festival expands its offerings SARAH JAROSZ, DELLA MAE, THE AUTUMN DEFENSE, HONEYHONEY, THE WILLOWWACKS and RION PAIGE 11 a.m.-6 p.m. March 16, Metropolitan Park, Downtown, Free, communityfirstnaturallifemusicfestival.com

18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 5-11, 2014

epending on how you measure its lifespan, the Natural Life Music Festival is either a toddler or a teenager. The Metropolitan Park edition of the festival, in Downtown Jacksonville, officially will turn 3 with this year’s fest on Sunday, March 16, but the event’s roots run far deeper than that number. In the mid-’90s, Ponte Vedra Beach mom and former Hallmark Cards employee Patti Hughes started Natural Life, a femalefocused clothing and accessories company; in 2001, she and several other Beaches-area families started a “Crafternoon” gathering to give local kids the chance to create heartfelt, handmade products. Even as Natural Life and its adjacent nonprofit Natural Life for Children grew to international success, the grassroots, hyperlocal and non-corporate vibe of Crafternoon kept going for 10 years. In 2011, local promoter Tib Miller of Flying Saucer Presents offered to donate his booking services to add a music component to the gathering. And since its official inception in 2011, the Natural Life Music Festival has donated tens of thousands of dollars to the Children’s Home Society Buckner Division in San Marco, which traces its history of facilitating stable foster and adopted families back to 1902. Three years in, the Crafternoon concept still serves as the core of Natural Life Music Festival, and the addition of healthful food vendors, an artisan market and danceable, family-friendly Americana music, the free event has transformed it into one of Northeast Florida’s premier cultural touchstones. Mirroring the hard work Miller has done bringing top-tier musicians to the area, 2014’s lineup goes above and beyond previous fests,

featuring several internationally acclaimed and award-winning artists. Here’s a quick cheat sheet for this year’s music fest lineup: it’s free admission plus six bands who usually charge admission anywhere from $10 to $40 plus fundraising for a good cause equals must-go. That’s an equation everyone understands. SARAH JAROSZ Austin, Texas, native Jarosz is that rarest of acoustic artists: a young mandolin, banjo and guitar player who pays sufficient respect to the past while still pushing the often selfcontained Americana art form firmly into the mainstream future. Jarosz’s half-traditionalist/ half-conservatory-trained background has helped her turn out four excellent albums at the tender age of 22, followed by fawning attention from NPR, The New York Times and the Grammy Awards. DELLA MAE Boston quintet Della Mae packs a variegated punch unmatched in today’s indie Americana folkie/rock musical world. Founder Kimber Ludiker plucked Celia Woodsmith, Courtney Hartman, Shelby Means and Jenni Lyn Gardner from various Americana scenes, in which all have earned numerous accolades for their instrumental dexterity. Last year’s This World of Can Be was recorded in Johnny Cash’s old cabin and earned Della Mae a Grammy nomination. The band also spent 43 days in 2013 traveling through Central Asian countries like Kazakhstan and Turkmenistan with the U.S. State Department’s America Music Abroad program. THE AUTUMN DEFENSE Longtime members of modern rock royalty Wilco, John Stirratt and Pat Sansone are now bringing their many accomplishments as multi-instrumentalists and audio engineers to their soft-rock side project The Autumn Defense. The band’s 2014 album, Fifth,

earned descriptions like “played perfectly,” “sung nicely” and “flirt[ing] with classic-pop brilliance” from many critics. Some might take those as criticisms, but to a crowd gathered outside on a warm afternoon in Jacksonville, it will seem downright heavenly. HONEYHONEY One of two male-female duos anchoring the festival this year, Los Angeles’ honeyhoney brings its shimmering West Coast vibe to Florida after a marathon fall and winter touring Europe and the U.S. with fast-rising UK star Jake Bugg. Ben Jaffe and Suzanne Santo’s smoldering mix of blues, country, pop and rock was top-notch on two previous trips to Florida — no doubt it’ll shine even brighter this time around. THE WILLOWWACKS Micah and Lauren Gilliam met at college in the Midwest but found the perfect home for their tender, intricate folk-rock in St. Augustine. Micah plays the guitar, Lauren plays the ukulele, bass and banjolele, and the two artists share majestic blends of harmonies. The WillowWacks sound great live and intricately, densely arranged on record, a duality that’s difficult to achieve. RION PAIGE At only 13 years old, homegrown girl Rion Paige doesn’t have the life experience necessary to make it as a country singer — or so you might think, but this Jacksonvillian has dealt with arthrogryposis multiplex congenita since childhood, lending gravitas to her buoyant attitude and recent fifth-place finish on Season 3 of Fox’s The X Factor. “There is a deeper meaning why Rion and Natural Life have been brought together,” says Hughes. “To have her passion and drive at such a young age is truly impressive and inspiring for girls of all ages around the world.” Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com

MARCH 5-11, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19

A&E // MUSIC

Photo: Dennis Ho

Songs about Love

Mariah Johnson has a cat named Bacon, severe allergies and a lilting voice she doesn’t like to use WOVEN IN, LEVERAGE MODELS & WINTER WAVE 9 p.m. March 8, Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, $5

20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 5-11, 2014

ariah Johnson’s guitar is almost bigger than she is, and the sound they produce together is bigger than both. “I actually got it custom-made from this dude on eBay,” she says, “but he also makes really terrible, crappy guitars — shaped like shark heads and alligators. But he had one of these, and he was like, ‘Nobody wants this!’ It’s a pretty instrument, and it makes pretty sounds.” Johnson is jaunty in her Joy Division T-shirt and leopard-print socks, with haphazard hair barely constrained beneath a black hoodie as her home recordings play. Her cat’s name is Bacon, but he’s black-and-white, not at all bacon-hued: “If he was the color of bacon, he would have probably been eaten already.” The cat meows when she sings, sometimes. “He doesn’t hit all the notes,” she says. That’s OK; his owner prefers instrumentals. Johnson’s become a fixture on the local indie scene in recent years, playing in bands like Holiday Road, Business Casualties and especially Foreign Trade, which broke up in April 2008. Her current project, Woven In, is still in its infancy. “It’s the least rockin’ thing I’ve ever done,” she says. “It’s not as rock ’n’ roll as other bands I’ve been in. I feel like I should’ve been doing this the whole time.” Hailing from the City of Brotherly Love, Johnson admits her music is all about love. She has a lovely, lilting voice, but often prefers not to use it. Johnson’s a big fan of instrumental music, citing bands like Buff Clout and Blood Unicorn among her influences. Her business cards say “Surf Rock,” a sound that definitely suffuses the music of Woven In, particularly in her guitar playing, which is tonally almost like Alex E. Johnson, who turns 23 on March 17, first

picked up the guitar a decade ago, around the same time she arrived in Florida. “I moved down here in the summer of 2004, and I still have gripes about it, because Philadelphia’s school year starts in September and ends in July, so I lost one month of my summer break,” she says. “I’ll never forget that. I want it back!”

“I feel like I should’ve been doing this the whole time.” She does most of her writing in a spare bedroom in her Riverside apartment, a space that’s bare except for her gear and a treadmill. “I run a lot, but I can’t run outside because my eyes swell shut,” says Johnson, who has severe allergies to things like soy, apples, tree nuts, melons and, of course, pollen. Her days are spent working in the surgery center at St. Vincent’s Hospital, where colleagues often look at her food choices with amusement. “I have the worst time at potlucks,” she laments. Despite having played in all those groups, Johnson hasn’t been any band’s leader. Now she is, guiding Woven In. She’s written about 15 songs for the project so far, but she’s recorded only three, all at home, all lo-fi. She gives those out for free in random places, but is anxious to step things up in the spring. Johnson has taken to Kickstarter to help fund production of the first Woven In EP. The campaign ended on March 4; as of this writing, she’d raised about half of the $1,000 she needs. Recording has already begun. Having matriculated in the Sunshine State, Johnson’s next move is back northward, to join a growing Duval diaspora in Atlanta this June. Florida remains at the epicenter of her creative world, though, and that’s unlikely to change anytime soon. Shelton Hull mail@folioweekly.com

A&E

MUSIC

CONCERTS THIS WEEK

HOPSIN, DJ HOPPA, FUNK VOLUME, LEGIT, DENVER 7 p.m. March 5 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, $20, 246-2473. SPIRITUAL REZ & THE MESSENGERS 8 p.m. March 5 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, free, 353-6067. FRANKIE VALLI & THE FOUR SEASONS 7:30 p.m. March 5 at the T-U Center for the Performing Arts, 300 Water St., Downtown, 633-6110. HE IS LEGEND, ON GUARD 9 p.m. March 5 at 1904 Music Hall, 19 N. Ocean St., Downtown, $12-$15. SURFER BLOOD, WAKE UP, NORTHE 8 p.m. March 5 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $10, 398-7496. THE KENNEDYS 7:30 p.m. March 6 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008. CAROLINA CHOCOLATE DROPS 8 p.m. March 6 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, $40$50, 209-0399. DROPKICK MURPHYS, LUCERO, SKINNY LISTER 6 p.m. March 6 at Mavericks at the Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, $25, 356-1110. DARSOMBRA, ANCIENT RIVER, BLISS PLACE 8 p.m. March 6 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, $5, 353-4686. GENERAL TSOâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S FURY, ASKULTURA, JAY TEA, SELF EMPLOYED, LITTLE JERKS 8 p.m. March 6 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $8, 398-7496. RITTZ, JELLY ROLL, SIMPLE NATURAL 8 p.m. March 6 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, $20, 246-2473. KJ-52, JASON DUNN, DJ WILL, NEEK SMIF 7 p.m. March 6 at Murray Hill Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., Riverside, $7-$14, 388-7807. BLOOD WATER BENEFIT: Jars of Clay, Samuel Sanders 8 p.m. March 7 at Murray Hill Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., Riverside, $15, 388-7807. JOSH HOWELL & FRIENDS 8 p.m. March 7 at Murray Hill Theatreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Fringe CafĂŠ, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., Riverside, free, 388-7807. SPIRITS & THE MELCHIZEDEK CHILDREN, HEY MANDIBLE, BUFFALO BUFFALO, THE HIGHWAY 8 p.m. March 7 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, $5, 353-4686. FAT CACTUS 9:30 p.m. March 7 & 8 at Whiteyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Fish Camp, 2032 C.R. 220, Fleming Island, 269-4198. J. RODDY WALTSON & THE BUSINESS, CLEAR PLASTIC MASKS, ON GUARD 8 p.m. March 7 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, free, 246-2473. 1904 MUSIC HALL 2nd ANNIVERSARY PROJECT: Split Tone, Tough Junkie, Dialectable Beats 8 p.m. March 7 at 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown, free. DUSTIN LYNCH 6 p.m. March 7 at Mavericks at the Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, $15-$20, 356-1110. MATRIMONY, SPEAKING CURSIVE, THE LITTLE BOOKS 8 p.m. March 8 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $10, 398-7496. COMEBACK KID, BACKTRACK, XIBALBA, DOWNPRESSER, TO THE WIND March 8 at Atticus Bar, 325 W. Forsyth St., Downtown, 634-8813. AMY SPEACE 7:30 p.m. March 8 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008. STEVE MILLER BAND 7:30 p.m. March 8 at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., $39.50-$89.50, 209-0367. THE REPUBLIK 9 p.m. March 8 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, 353-6067. WARRIOR KING & THE ONE SOUND BAND, DE LIONS OF JAH, JAH ELECT & THE I QUALITY BAND, KANA KIEHM, 74 SOUNDSYSTEM 7 p.m. March 8 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, $15, 246-2473. LEVERAGE MODELS, WOVEN IN, WINTER WAVE 8 p.m. March 8 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, $5, 353-4686. ALESANA, GET SCARED, HEARTS & HANDS, FAREWELL MY LOVE, MEGOSH 4 p.m. March 9 at Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Megaplex, 845 University Blvd. N., Arlington, $12, 223-9850. AGENT ORANGE, POWERBALL, POOR RICHARDS 8 p.m. March 9 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $12, 398-7496.

FreebirdLive.com

/ TU 4U +BY #FBDI '- r #*3%

WEDNESDAY MARCH 5

HOPSIN

DJ HOPPA/FUNK VOLUME GUESTS LEGIT/DENVER THURSDAY MARCH 6

RITTZ

JELLY ROLL/SIMPLE NATURAL FRIDAY MARCH 7

X102.9 FMâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S FREE BIRTHDAY CONCERT WITH

J. RODDY WALSTON & THE BUSINESS

CLEAR PLASTIC MASKS/ON GUARD TERRIFIC TWO: Jax Beachâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Split Tone (pictured) drops a fusion of reggae, rock, hip-hop and soul in celebration of 1904 Music Hallâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s second anniversary on March 7, with Tough Junkie and Dialectable Beats. SCOTTY McCREERY 7 p.m. March 9 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, $27.50-$50.50, 355-2787. CURTIN 8 p.m. March 10 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, $6, 353-4686. DIAMOND PLATE, EAST OF THE WALL, DIRTY AUTOMATIC 8 p.m. March 10 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $8, 398-7496. BOBAFLEX, HELIOS HAND, NOCTURNAL STATE OF MIND, ULTRA SUCK MEGA FUXXX 7 p.m. March 11 at Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pit Live Megaplex, 845 University Blvd. N., Arlington, $10, 223-9850. LES RACQUET, THE ACCOMPLICES, WORTH ROAD 8 p.m. March 12 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $8, 398-7496.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

TRIBAL SEEDS, STICK FIGURE, SEEDLESS March 13, Freebird Live PIERCE PETTIS March 13, The Original CafĂŠ Eleven DANA COOPER March 13, Mudville Music Room JACK RUSSELLâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S GREAT WHITE March 13, Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s CHRISTOPER DEAN BAND March 13-15, A1A Ale Works HARPETH RISING, HONEY BOY, BOOTS March 14, Mudville Music Room MICHAEL BOLTON March 14, The Florida Theatre UNKNOWN LIQUID, OSCAR MIKE, BETHANY STOCKDALE March 14, Jack Rabbits PARKRIDGE, YOUR BEST FRIEND & MY FAVORITE BAND, ARTILECT, ALL THINGS DONE March 14, Freebird Live

SATURDAY MARCH 8

WARRIOR KING

& THE ONE SOUND BAND DE LIONS OF JAH/JAH ELECT &THE I QUALITY BAND

KANA KIEHM/74 SOUND SYSTEM THURSDAY MARCH 13

TRIBAL SEEDS

NEW KINGSTON/INNAVISION FRIDAY MARCH 14

PA R K R I D G E

YOUR BEST FRIEND MY FAVORITE BAND ARTILECT/ALL THINGS DONE

MonTuesWed-

ThursFri-

MENâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S NIGHT OUT BEER PONG 9PM FREE POOL ALL U CAN EAT CRABLEGS TEXAS HOLD â&#x20AC;&#x2122;EM STARTS AT 7 P.M. HAPPY HOUR ALL NIGHT t ,*%4 &"5 '3&& '30. 1 . 50 1 . t #6: 8*/(4 (&5 8*/(4 '3&& t 13*$&% "11&5*;&34 #"3 0/-: 1 . $-04& OPEN MIC NITE 9PM 13*$&% %3*/,4 1 . " . FAT CACTUS 9:30pm 13*$& "114 '3* #"3 0/-: 1. %&$, .64*$ 1 . 1 .

Sat-

FAT CACTUS 9:30pm %&$, .64*$ 1 . 1 .

Sun-

LIVE MUSIC 4:30-8:30pm

SATURDAY MARCH 15

MORNING FATTY/SOWFLO

WEEKEND ATLAS/GARRETT ON ACOUSTIC SUNDAY MARCH 16

WE THE KINGS THIS CENTURY/CRASH THE PARTY FRIDAY MARCH 21

P I L O T W AV E

EMMA MOSELEY BAND/KENNY SATURDAY MARCH 22

PIPESTONE/DIRT MESSIAH THURSDAY MARCH 27

DRIVINâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; N CRYINâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

BRYCE ALASTAIR BAND UPCOMING

4-12: 4-17: 4-18: 4-19: 4-24: 4-25: 4-27: 4-28: 5-7: 5-9:

Dopapod/Greenhouse Lounge Local Natives Passafire/Lullwater Blessthefall/Silverstein GRIZ/Michal Menert/Late Night Radio Taking Back Sunday Matt Stillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 2nd annual Sole Tour Easy Star Allstars/Cas Haley Katchafire The Faint

5-11:

Mike Pinto/B-Side Players

MARCH 5-11, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 21

A&E // MUSIC

THE KNIFE

Make Your Own Scene

22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 5-11, 2014

aving resided (at times against my will) in Northeast Florida for nearly 20 years now, I have asked this question countless times to my fellow musicians and entertainers, and now I ask it again: What does it take to create a robust and consistent music scene? The answers are as plentiful and diverse as the people whom I ask. I have often said, and rarely in jest, that Jacksonville is a great place to live but not visit — low cost of living, nice weather, wonderful beaches, a stable job market. But why the hell would anyone want to visit? So we can’t count on tourism to create a bustling Downtown or offer support to the clubs and restaurants in the surrounding suburbs. We have to make our own scene, and in my two decades here, it hasn’t happened. Sure, there have been peaks — the days of the Milk Bar and Moto Lounge come to mind, but those clubs suffered city code crackdowns and waning attendance as a result. And the numerous cozy holes-in-thewall that have populated the ’burbs always offer a wide array of diverse bands of varying quality, but they fade fast. What to do? A look at last week’s entertainment options offers insight into how fickle the scene can be. On Wednesday night, The Eagles appeared at the Veterans Memorial Arena. Droves of middle-aged white folks turned up. To be expected. A night of nostalgia with a hefty price tag always attracts graying Jaguars fans. OK, fine. The following evening, however, five local venues hosted five fine acts, with a wide disparity in attendance figures. Here’s the breakdown: Unknown Hinson, nearly sold out at Jack Rabbits; Bernie Worrell, a quarter-full at Underbelly; The Dusty 45s, maybe 20 people at Burro Bar; G Love, 500 people to Freebird Live, a near-sellout; Terry Bozzio, sold out Clark’s Music Center. (Disclosure: I helped promote the Bozzio show.) Local bluegrass trio Grandpa’s Cough Medicine opened the Unknown Hinson show, and good for them because the place was packed. Not so good for Jacksonville’s Groove Coalition, which opened for

Bernie Worrell, a legend who played with Parliament-Funkadelic and the Talking Heads. The man should’ve had a full house. The Dusty 45s, a popular rockabilly and swing quartet from Seattle, played to an enthusiastic two dozen at best. Granted, they’re just now gaining a foothold on the East Coast, but 20 people? G Love’s numbers are a given, but the anomaly may have been the Bozzio show. A legend in his own right, having played with Frank Zappa, his own band Missing Persons, Jeff Beck, Fantomas, Steve Vai, Allan Holdsworth, The Brecker Brothers and Korn, Bozzio is absolutely a drummer’s drummer. So the sold-out show was completely unexpected. What does this tell us? Tim Hall, longtime promoter of Northeast Florida concerts, says Worrell’s numbers were good “considering the competition. I moved to Jacksonville in 1998 from San Diego and the live music scene has never been better.” Groove Coalition bassist Tommy Bridgewater sees it differently. “Hipsters are the most fickle bunch,” he says. “My opinion is, there is no rhyme or reason [to attendance numbers]. It’s hit or miss. People aren’t really brave enough to take a chance with their free time. They aren’t willing to risk having a bad experience. So they frequent what they know.” Jason Lewis, longtime local concert promoter and musician, sees it both ways: “Attendance for live music seems to be at an all-time high in Jacksonville, when you consider the amount of venues that cater to live original music. But people need to look outside their comfort zone and support local, regional and national acts they may not normally be interested in, whether it’s once a week or once a month.” In other words, screw The Eagles. Pay a lot less to see a band you’ve never heard of once in a while. Hell, you could go see seven bands for the price of an Eagles show. Good news is, there is no shortage of options here, and if (or better yet, when) you decide to get off your ass and have a little adventure, the bands will be very, very happy to see you. John Citrone mail@folioweekly.com

IRISH TO THE END March 14, The Pioneer Barn PHUK THE POLITICS, NO BLARNEY March 14, 1904 Music Hall RACHELLE FERRELL March 14, Ritz Theatre MARGO REY March 14, Underbelly MUSIC FOR MEOWS BENEFIT: Rock Hell Victory, Jenni Reid, Lauren Fincham, Andy King, The Jo Charles Project, Dixie Rodeo March 15, Jack Rabbits MORNING FATTY, SOWFLO, WEEKEND ATLAS, GARRETT ON ACOUSTIC March 15, Freebird Live TOOTS LORRAINE & the TRAFFIC March 15, Mudville Music GRAVITY A, SPORE March 15, Underbelly DOGS, PLAYGROUND HEROES, ANIMALIGHT March 15, Burro Bar WE THE KINGS, THIS CENTURY, CRASH THE PARTY March 16, Freebird Live LA DISPUTE March 16, Brewster’s Megaplex IRISH TO THE END March 16, The Pioneer Barn TAKE THE STAGE-4 DONNY: His Name Was Iron, Fit for Rivals, Grandpa’s Cough Medicine, Canary in the Coalmine, Tom Bennett Band, P.U.B., Superjam March 16, Jack Rabbits NATURAL LIFE MUSIC FEST: Rion Paige, HoneyHoney, The WillowWacks, The Autumn Defense, Sarah Jarosz, Della Mae March 16, Metropolitan Park REDRICK SULTAN March 17, Burro Bar THE BLACK DAHLIA MURDER, GORGUTS, NOISEM March 17, Jack Rabbits GEORGE THOROGOOD & THE DESTROYERS March 19, The Florida Theatre WE BUTTER THE BREAD WITH BUTTER, LIONS LIONS, HONOUR CREST March 19, Jack Rabbits NOBRA NOMA, SKYBISON March 19, Burro Bar HIROYA TSUKAMOTO, SAM PACETTI, MICHAEL JORDAN March 20, Mudville Music Room SUWANNEE SPRINGFEST: The Avett Brothers, Del McCoury Band, Punch Brothers, Sam Bush Band, Southern Soul Assembly, Jason Isbell, Travelin’ McCoury Jam, Donna the Buffalo, Steep Canyon Rangers, Jim Lauderdale, Greensky Bluegrass, Willie Sugarcaps, The Duhks, Aoife O’Donovan, Floodwood, Ralph Roddenbery, Grandpa’s Cough Medicine, Whetherman, Canary in the Coalmine, The Royal Tinfoil, Holy Ghost Tent Revival, ny, Big Cosmo, Habanera Honeys, Tammerlin, The New 76ers, JacksonVegas, Quartermoon, James Justin & Co., Rosco Bandana, SOSOS, The Whiskey Gentry, Bibb City Ramblers, 2-Foot Level, Henhouse Prowlers, Come Back Alice, Gypsy Wind, Nook & Cranny, Beartoe, Mickey Abraham’s Acoustic Ensemble March 20-23, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park MOULLINEX, MARBEYA SOUND March 21, Underbelly MIDDLE CLASS RUT, BRICK & MORTAR, DINOSAUR PILEUP March 21, Jack Rabbits PINK MARTINI March 21, The Florida Theatre JOSHUA SCOTT JONES, JORDYN STODDARD March 21, The Original Café Eleven EMMA MOSELEY BAND March 21, Freebird Live LADYSMITH BLACK MAMBAZO March 22, Florida Theatre SCOTLAND’S BATTLEFIELD BAND March 22, Mudville Music Room WE ARE THE IN CROWD, WILLIAM BECKETT, SET IT OFF, STATE CHAMPS, CANDY HEARTS March 22, Jack Rabbits THE MOODY BLUES March 22, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MARY OCHER March 22, Burro Bar PIPESTONE March 22, Freebird Live HELIOS HAND, SURVIVING SEPTEMBER, KNOCK FOR SIX, TREES SETTING FIRES, ABOLISH THE RELICS, GLASS APOSTLE, DR. SIRBROTHER, DIRTY AUTOMATIC March 22, Brewster’s Megaplex DALTON STANLEY March 22, Murray Hill Theatre MARC COHN DUO March 23, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA, THE GHOST INSIDE, I KILLED THE PROM QUEEN, DANGERKIDS March 23, Murray Hill Theatre SCOTLAND’S BATTLEFIELD BAND March 23, Culhane’s THE TURNPIKE TROUBADOURS March 24, Jack Rabbits THE SUITCASE JUNKET March 25, Underbelly DOC HANDY March 25, Mudville Music Room DAVE HAUSE, NORTHCOTE March 26, Jack Rabbits DANGERMUFFIN March 26, 1904 Music Hall GET THE LED OUT March 27, The Florida Theatre JOHN FLYNN March 27, Mudville Music Room DIRTY BOURBON RIVER SHOW March 27, Underbelly DRIVIN N CRYIN’ March 27, Freebird Live YOUR 33 BLACK ANGELS March 27, Burro Bar YONAS, PELL, DRAZAH March 27, Jack Rabbits THE BRONX WANDERERS March 28, Thrasher-Horne Center FORTUNATE YOUTH March 28, Freebird Live LORETTA LYNN March 28, The Florida Theatre GOSPEL FEST: Erica Atkins-Campbell, Deitrick Haddon, Le’Andria Johnson, Jessica Reedy, Dorothy Norwood, Todd Dulaney March 28, Metro Park PROTEST THE HERO, BATTLECROSS, SAFETY FIRE, INTERVALS, NIGHT/VERSUS March 28, Jack Rabbits RUFFIANS, SUNSPOTS March 28, Burro Bar GORAN IVANOVIC March 28, The Original Café Eleven STILL ON THE HILL March 29, Mudville Music Room SLIDE INTO SPRING MUSIC & CRAFT BEER FESTIVAL March 29, Fernandina Beach CULTURA PROFETICA March 29, Freebird Live 2 CHAINZ, DAVID FROST March 29, Brewster’s Megaplex THE MOWGLIS, MISTERWIVES, BURIED BEDS March 29, Jack Rabbits COUNTRY TRIBUTE TO WOMEN OF THE MILITARY: Darryl Worley, Morgan Frazier, Jamie Davis, Rion Paige March 29, Mavericks at the Landing RIVERS AND LAKES March 30, Jack Rabbits

A&E // MUSIC CARRIE NATION & THE SPEAKEASY, MUDTOWN, TAIL LIGHT REBELLION March 30, Burro Bar AARON BING March 30, T-U Center STEVE POLITZ, DONNY BRAZILE March 30, CafĂŠ Eleven THE FUNERAL & THE TWILIGHT, BURNT HAIR, PROSTRATE, VASES March 31, Burro Bar ALL TIME LOW, MAN OVERBOARD, HAND GUNS April 1, Freebird Live STEVE HACKETT April 2, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MOBB DEEP April 2, Underbelly TESSERACT April 2, Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Megaplex JESSE COOK April 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PEPPINO DEAUGUSTINO April 3, Mudville Music Room PAUL ANKA April 3, T-U Centerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Moran Theater T. MILLS April 3, Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Megaplex SOJA April 3, The Florida Theatre RELIEF IN SLEEP, AMONGST THE FORGOTTEN April 3, Jack Rabbits SPRINGING THE BLUES FESTIVAL April 4-6, Jax Beach ROBERT CRAY BAND April 4, P.V. Concert Hall ZACH MYERS (of Shinedown) April 4, Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Megaplex THE MALAH, SPANKALICIOUS, FUTEXTURE April 4, 1904 Music Hall GRANT PEEPLES April 5, Mudville Music Room THOMAS WYNN & THE BELIEVERS, THE IVEY WEST BAND April 5, Underbelly SLICK RICK 25TH ANNIVERSARY TOUR April 5, Freebird Live SOUTH EAST BEAST April 5-6, Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Megaplex DOUG STANHOPE April 6, Underbelly ANVIL, PRIMITIVE HARD DRIVE, ALL THINGS DONE April 6, Jack Rabbits THE REIGN OF KINDO April 7, Jack Rabbits AMOS LEE April 7, The Florida Theatre TANTRIC, SOIL April 8, Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Megaplex AUTHORITY ZERO April 9, Jack Rabbits WANEE MUSIC FESTIVAL: The Allman Brothers Band, Trey Anastasio Band, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Tedeschi Trucks Band, Govâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Mule, Jaimoeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Jasssz Band, Umphreyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s McGee, Ziggy Marley, Blues Traveler, The Chris Robinson Brotherhood, Hot Tuna Electric, moe., Rusted Root, Ivan Nevilleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dumpstaphunk, Soulive, Royal Southern Brotherhood, Walter Trout, Rob Garza (Thievery Corporation), Blind Boys of Alabama, Bobby Lee Rodgers, Melvin Seals & JGB, Futurebirds, Matt Schofield, Break Science, Sean Chambers, The Yeti Trio April 10-12, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park THE BLIND BOYS OF ALABAMA April 11, P.V. Concert Hall MIKE EPPS April 11, T-U Center

Mon: Karaoke Tues: Karaoke Wed: Jam Nite / Open Mic

Heavy Hitters Club Host Band Synrgy Featuring Rocco Marshall, Derek Hess, Clinton Carver, Rick â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hurricaneâ&#x20AC;? Johnson and other special guests. That means you. 8:30 pm

Thurs: Boogie Freaks Fri: Home of the Most Talented

Wait Staff Show begins 9pm till close

RAY WYLIE HUBBARD, THE 77Dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S April 12, Jack Rabbits WHITE FANG, DENNEY & THE JETS, THE MOLD April 12, Burro Bar DOPAPOD, GREENHOUSE LOUNGE April 12, Freebird Live OYSTER JAM MUSIC FEST April 12-13, Metropolitan Park JON VEZNER April 13, Mudville Music Room THE ZOMBIES April 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MOON TAXI April 13, Jack Rabbits THE VALLEY ROOTS April 14, Underbelly THE DECORATION April 16, Jack Rabbits LEDISI April 16, The Florida Theatre LOCAL NATIVES April 17, Freebird Live MITCH KUHMAN BAND April 17, Sangrias MEAN MARY April 17, Mudville Music Room CONSIDER THE SOURCE April 18, Underbelly TECH N9NE, KRIZZ KALIKO, JARREN BRENTON, PSYCH WARD DRUGGIES, FREDDIE GIBBS April 18, Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Edge LESS THAN JAKE April 18, Jack Rabbits PASSAFIRE, LULLWATER April 18, Freebird Live CASKEY April 18, Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s THE RESOLVERS, UNIVERSAL GREEN, THE MESSENGERS April 19, Underbelly MERCYGIRL, WHOSOEVER SOUTH April 19, Murray Hill Theatre BLESSTHEFALL, SILVERSTEIN, THE AMITY AFFLICTION, SECRETS, HEARTIST April 19, Freebird Live DARIUS RUCKER, ELI YOUNG BAND, COREY SMITH April 19, St. Augustine Amphitheatre SLAID CLEAVES April 19, Mudville Music Room MISHKA, SARAH BLACKER April 20, Jack Rabbits REHAB April 22, Jack Rabbits TODD SNIDER April 23, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall HURT April 23, Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Megaplex VANCE GILBERT April 24, Mudville Music Room GRIZ, MICHAL MENERT April 24, Freebird Live JANA KRAMER April 24, Mavericks at the Landing TAKING BACK SUNDAY, TONIGHT ALIVE, SLEEPWAVE April 25, Freebird Live LARRY MANGUM April 26, Mudville Music Room DICK DALE April 26, Jack Rabbits WELCOME TO ROCKVILLE: Avenged Sevenfold, The Cult, Motorhead, Volbeat, Chevelle, Alter Bridge, Hellyeah, Adelitas Way, Rev Theory, Butcher Babies, Memphis May Fire, Chiodos, We as Human, Monster Truck, We Came as Romans, Middle Class Rut, Devour the Day April 26, Metropolitan Park WELCOME TO ROCKVILLE: Korn, Rob Zombie, Five Finger Death Punch, Staind, Seether, Theory of a Deadman, Black Label Society, Black Stone Cherry, Trivium,

Motionless in White, Sick Puppies, Skindred, The Pretty Reckless, Lacuna Coil, Fozzy, Kyng, Nothing More, Twelve Foot Ninja April 27, Metropolitan Park ANTIQUE ANIMALS April 27, Mellow Mushroom Jax Beach SANTANA April 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THE SOLE TOUR: Nate Holley, John Earle, Charlie Walker, Rachael Warfield, Odd Rodd, Matt Still April 27, Freebird Live EASY STAR ALL-STARS, CAS HALEY, BIG HOPE April 28, Freebird Live CHUCK RAGAN & THE CAMARADARIE, JONNY TWO SHOES, BEAU CRUM April 28, Jack Rabbits ROB THOMAS April 29, The Florida Theatre M. WARD April 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JOHN LEGEND April 30, The Florida Theatre SUWANNEE RIVER JAM: Brantley Gilbert, Montgomery Gentry, The Mavericks, Chris Cagle, Justin Moore, The Charlie Daniels Band, Colt Ford, The Lacs, JJ Lawhorn April 30-May 3, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park LARRY MANGUM, JIM CARRICK, CHARLEY SIMMONS May 1, Mudville Music Room DA GUITAR STUDENT RECITAL May 3, Mudville Music Room BRIT FLOYD May 4, The Florida Theatre AMY GRANT May 4, T-U Center Jacoby Symphony Hall WILLIE NELSON, ALISON KRAUSS, UNION STATION, JERRY DOUGLASS May 6, St. Augustine Amphitheatre TURKUAZ May 7, Underbelly COMBICHRIST May 8, Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Megaplex THE HEAD AND THE HEART May 8, P.V. Concert Hall THE HEAD AND THE HEART, LOST IN THE TREES May 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PROPAGANDA May 9, Murray Hill Theatre PURPLE HATTERâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S BALL: Beats Antique, Emancipator Ensemble, The New Mastersounds, The Heavy Pets, The Nth Power, DubConscious, Space Capone, Rising Appalachia, Greenhouse Lounge May 9-11, Suwannee Music Park THE FAB FOUR May 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE FAINT May 9, Freebird Live MARION CRANE, BLEEDING IN STEREO, GHOSTWITCH May 10, Jack Rabbits BEGGARâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S RIDE, MARK MADEVILLE, RAIANNE RICHARDS May 10, Mudville Music Room MARION CRANE, BLEEDING IN STEREO, GHOSTWITCH May 10, Jack Rabbits LETLIVE., ARCHITECTS, GLASS CLOUD, I THE MIGHTY May 10, Brewsterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Megaplex MIKE PINTO, B-SIDE PLAYERS, OJO DE BUEY May 11, Freebird Live CONOR OBERST, DAWES May 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall

WEDNESDAY Billy Bowers Irish Red Tapping Party 5 to 7

THURSDAY, FRIDAY & SATURDAY Cloud 9

SUNDAY

The Druids Atlantic Blvd. at the Ocean "UMBOUJD #FBDI r

MARCH 5-11, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23

A&E // MUSIC YOU KNEW ME WHEN May 13, Underbelly CHER, CYNDI LAUPER May 14, Veterans Memorial Arena MIKE SHACKELFORD May 14, Mudville Music Room WOODY PINES May 15, Underbelly GLADYS KNIGHT May 16, T-U Center GIPSY KINGS May 16, Florida Theatre TEGAN & SARA, LUCIOUS, THE COURTNEYS May 16, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE 1975 May 19, Freebird Live JACK JOHNSON, ALO May 20, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DALE CRICER, DELL SUGGS, BOB PATTERSON May 21, Mudville Music Room ANTIQUE ANIMALS May 22, Mellow Mushroom Jax Beach STYX, FOREIGNER, DON FELDER May 23, St. Augustine Amphitheatre LADIES WITH LYRICS: Julie Durden, Rebecca Zapen, Brenda David May 30, Mudville Music Room WEEZER June 6, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS June 6, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SONGWRITER’S CIRCLE ANNIVESARY: Larry Mangum, Mike Shackelford, Jamie DeFrates June 7, Mudville Music Room FLORIDA COUNTRY SUPERFEST: Luke Bryan, Jason Aldean, Eric Church, Miranda Lambert, Florida Georgia Line, Little Big Town, Big & Rich, Easton Corbin, Colt Ford, Joe Nichols June 14-15, EverBank Field ROD MacDONALD June 14, Mudville Music Room GYPSY STAR, REBECCA ZAPEN June 19, Mudville Music Room MERCYGIRL, WHOSOEVER SOUTH June 21, Murray Hill Theatre DAVE MATTHEWS BAND July 15, Veterans Memorial Arena FALL OUT BOY, NEW POLITICS July 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ULTIMATE ELVIS BASH Aug. 9, The Florida Theatre PANIC! AT THE DISCO, WALK THE MOON, YOUNGBLOOD HAWKE Aug. 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre 1964: A TRIBUTE TO THE BEATLES Sept. 13, Florida Theatre MOTLEY CRUE, ALICE COOPER Oct. 19, Veterans Memorial Arena

CLUBS AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

DAVID’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, 802 Ash St., 310-6049 John Springer every Tue.-Wed. Aaron Bing every Fri. & Sat. DOG STAR TAVERN, 10 N. Second St., 277-8010 Working Class Stiff 9:30 p.m. every Tue. THE PALACE SALOON, 117 Centre St., 491-3332 Schnockered 9:30 p.m. March 9. Buck Smith every Tue. THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 491-8999 DJ Roc at 6

p.m. every Wed. Richard Smith 6 p.m. Fri. Honey Badgers every Sat.

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

BREWSTER’S MEGAPLEX, 845 University Blvd. N., 223-9850 Alesana, Get Scared, Hearts & Hands, Farewell My Love, Megosh March 9. Bobaflex, Nocturnal State of Mind March 11. Jack Russell’s Great White March 13 MVP’S SPORTS GRILLE, 12777 Atlantic Blvd., 221-1090 Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

CASBAH CAFE, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave., 387-3582 DJ Keith every Tue. DJ Free every Fri. DJ SuZi-Rok every Mon. MOJO NO. 4, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670 Grandpa’s Cough Medicine March 7. Wes Cobb March 14

BEACHES

(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted) 200 FIRST STREET, Courtyard, Neptune Beach, 249-2922 Brandon Kellner 7 p.m. March 7. Just Jazz March 8 CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 Dublin City Ramblers 7 p.m. March 13. Irish music every Sun. FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 Bread & Butter 10 p.m. March 7 & 8. Red Beard & Stinky E 10 p.m. every Thur. Darren Corlew every Sun. FLY’S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 E. Sailfish Dr., Atlantic Beach, 246-4293 Wes Cobb every Thur. Charlie Walker Mon. FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 Hopsin, DJ Hoppa, Funk Volume, Legit, Denver 7 p.m. March 5. Rittz, Jelly Roll, Simple Natural 8 p.m. March 6. J. Roddy Waltson & the Business, Clear Plastic Masks, On Guard 8 p.m. March 7. Warrior King & the One Sound Band, De Lions of Jah, Jah Elect & the I Quality Band, Kana Kiehm, 74 Soundsystem 7 p.m. March 8. Tribal Seeds, Stick Figure, Seedless March 13 ISLAND GIRL BAR, 108 First St., Neptune Beach, 372-0943 Live music March 7 & 8 LANDSHARK CAFE, 1728 Third St. N., 246-6024 PowerBall, Clarence Blowfly Reid 8 p.m. March 5. TJ Hookers, Fortitude March 8. Open mic every Wed. Matt Still every Thur. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Ozone Baby 10 p.m. March 7 & 8. Be Easy Mon. Split Tone every Thur. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., 246-1500 Paul Miller 8 p.m. March 5. Firewater Tent Revival March 6. Wes Cobb March 7 MEZZA LUNA, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573 Neil Dixon every Tue. Mike Shackelford & Rick Johnson every Thur. NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 Kurt Lanham March 6. Elizabeth Rogers March 7. Billy Bowers 7:30 p.m. March 8 PIER CANTINA, 412 N. First St., 246-6454 Ryan Campbell & Charlie Walker every Fri. Split Tone every Sun. RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 Billy Bowers 7 p.m. March 5. Cloud 9 at 8 p.m. March 6, 7 & 8. The Druids March 9 WIPEOUTS GRILL, 1589 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 247-4508 Billy Bowers 9:30 p.m. March 7

DOWNTOWN

1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. He Is Legend, On Guard 9 p.m. March 5. Split Tone, Tough Junkie, Dialectable Beats 8 p.m. March 7 ATTICUS BAR, 325 W. Forsyth St., 634-8813 Comeback Kid, Backtrack, Xibalba, Downpresser, To the Wind 8 p.m. March 8 BURRO BAR, 100 E. Adams St., 677-2977 Six Time Losers 6 p.m. March 5. Darsombra, National Diary, Bliss Place 8 p.m. March 6. Spirits & The Melchizedek Children, The Highway 8 p.m. March 7. Leverage Models, Woven In, Winter Wave 8 p.m. March 8. Curtin March 10 DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 DJ NickFresh 9 p.m. every Sat. FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247 Spade McQuade 6-9 p.m. March 6. Braxton Adamson 5-8 p.m., Brett Foster Duo 8:30 p.m. March 7. Ron Perry Duo 8:30 p.m. March 8 JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Catch the Groove 8 p.m.-1 a.m. March 7. Sun Jammer 8 p.m.-1 a.m. March 8. Local Music Showcase 4-8 p.m. March 9. Full Throttle 6-10 p.m. March 13. Live music every Fri. & Sat. MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Roy Luis every Wed. DJ Vinn every Thur. DJ 007 every Fri. Bay Street every Sat. MAVERICKS, Jax Landing, 2 Independent Dr., 356-1110 Dropkick Murphys, Lucero, Skinny Lister 6 p.m. March 6. Dustin Lynch 6 p.m. March 7. Joe Buck, Big Tasty spin Thur.-Sat. UNDERBELLY, 113 E. Bay St., 353-6067 Spiritual Rez & the Messengers 8 p.m. March 5. The Republik 9 p.m. March 8

FLEMING ISLAND

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999 Live music Fri. & Sat. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Fat Cactus 9:30 p.m. March 7 & 8. Deck music at 5 p.m. every Fri. & Sat., 4:30 p.m. every Sun. DJ BG every Mon.

24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 5-11, 2014

INTRACOASTAL WEST

CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 Pronounced (Lynyrd Skynyrd) the Tribute 8 p.m. March 5 SALSA’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 13500 Beach Blvd., 992-8402 Live guitar music 6-9 p.m. every Tue. & Sat.

MANDARIN, JULINGTON

HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine, 880-3040 Open mic: Synergy 8 p.m. every Wed. Dennis Klee & the World’s Most Talented Waitstaff 9 p.m. every Fri.

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells, 272-5959 John Michael every Wed.-Sat. PREVATT’S SPORTS BAR, 2620 Blanding Blvd., 282-1564 Four Barrel 9 p.m. March 7. DJ Tammy 9 p.m. every Wed. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Southern Ruckus 10 p.m. March 7 & 8. Live music 9 p.m. every Thur.-Sat.

PONTE VEDRA, PALM VALLEY

ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR, 820 A1A N., 834-2492 Live music March 7 & 8 PUSSER’S GRILLE, 816 A1A N., 280-7766 Live music every Fri. & Sat. SoundStage Sun. TABLE 1, 330 A1A N., Ste. 208, 280-5515 Deron Baker at 6 p.m. March 5. Gary Starling Jazz Band 7:30 p.m. March 6. Paxton & Mike 7:30 p.m. March 7. WillowWacks 7:30 p.m. March 8

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

KICKBACKS, 910 King St., 388-9551 Ray & Taylor 8:30 p.m. every Thur. Robby Shenk every Sun. MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., 388-7807 KJ-52, Jason Dunn, DJ Will, Neek Smif at 7 p.m. March 6. Blood Water Benefit: Jars of Clay, Samuel Sanders at 8 p.m. March 7 RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET, 715 Riverside Ave. Mike King, The Mumbles, Pine Forest School of the Arts March 8

ST. AUGUSTINE

A1A ALE WORKS, 1 King St., 829-2977 Christopher Dean Band March 13-15 ANN O’MALLEY’S, 23 Orange St., 825-4040 Scuttered the Bruce March 7. 3 Pint Harmony March 8 & 9 CAFE ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311 Pierce Pettis March 13 CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 The Committee from 7-11 p.m. March 7. Billy Buchanan 2-5 p.m., The Committee 7-11 p.m. March 8. Vinny Jacobs 2 p.m. March 9 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040 Paper City Hustlers March 7. Grandpa’s Cough Medicine at 9 p.m. March 14 MILL TOP TAVERN & LISTENING ROOM, 19 1/2 St. George St., 829-2329 Live music 9 p.m. March 7 & 8. Todd & Molly Jones every Wed. Aaron Esposito every Thur. TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Hootch 9 p.m. March 7 & 8. Matanzas every Sun.-Thur. Elizabeth Roth 1 p.m. every Sat.

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER

BLACKFINN GRILLE, 4840 Big Island Dr., 345-3466 Live music 5 p.m. every Wed., 9 p.m. every Thur.-Sat. SUITE, 4880 Big Island Dr., 493-9305 Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Surfer Blood, Wake Up, Northe 8 p.m. March 5. General Tso’s Fury, Askultura, Little Jerks 8 p.m. March 6. Matrimony, Speaking Cursive, Little Books 9 p.m. March 8. Agent Orange, Poor Richards 8 p.m. March 9. Diamond Plate, East of the Wall, Dirty Automatic 8 p.m. March 10. Les Racquet, The Accomplices, Worth Road 8 p.m. March 12 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Mike Shackelford 7:30 p.m. March 5. The Kennedys 7:30 p.m. March 6. Amy Speace 7:30 p.m. March 8. Dana Cooper 7:30 p.m. March 13.

SOUTHSIDE

ISLAND GIRL, 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115, 854-6060 Live music 8 p.m. March 7 & 8 LATITUDE 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 VJ Didactic at 9 p.m. March 6. Band vs DJ at 9 p.m. March 7. Blonde Ambition 9 p.m. March 8 SEVEN BRIDGES, 9735 Gate Parkway N., 997-1999 Live music Fri. & Sat. WILD WING CAFE, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Chris Brinkley March 5. Chilly Rhino March 6 & 8. Shotgun Redd March 7. Pop Muzik or Chilly Rhino rotate every Wed.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

DAMES POINT MARINA, 4542 Irving Rd., 751-3043 Live music every Fri. & Sat. HIGHWAY 17 ROADHOUSE TAVERN, 850532 U.S. 17, Yulee, 225-9211 Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. To submit your event, email djohnson@folioweekly.com or mdryden@folioweekly.com. Deadline for print is 4 p.m. Friday. Due to space constraints, not all submissions will appear in print.

A&E // MOVIES

West Bank Story

The agile Adam Bakri turns heads in a convincing drama that takes surprising turns OMAR ***G Not Rated • Opens March 7 at Sun-Ray Cinema

f the filmmakers behind The Amazing SpiderMan had been smart, they’d have kicked that Andrew Garfield guy to the curb and cast Adam Bakri as the titular web-slinger. The agile young star of Hany Abu-Assad’s Omar would’ve injected some much-needed charisma and energy into that horrendous superhero reboot. As Omar, Bakri proves early on in the Oscarnominated (for Best Foreign Language Film) Palestinian thriller that he’s a physical marvel, scaling a massive cement barrier dividing the West Bank and then barely dodging an incoming bullet. The endurance tests don’t stop there: He spends much of the film running and jumping through urban corridors like a human pinball. The blisteringly tense narrative certainly calls for such sprightliness. After planning and executing a sniper attack on an Israeli army base that leaves one soldier dead, Omar and his two friends, Amjad (Samer Bisharat) and Tarek (Iyad Hoorani), become hunted men. During a police raid, Omar is captured; his compatriots escape, leaving him in the hands of senior agent Rami (Waleed Zuaiter). Since life experience is the primary form of currency in Omar, the young insurgent is no match for the older and wiser interrogator, who manages to trick his subject into confessing. To avoid prison, Omar becomes an informant. It might sound like a standard narrative formula, but Abu-Assad transcends cliché by focusing on the dimensionality and drive of his characters. Omar doesn’t fit the angry young Muslim archetype. He’s in love with Tarek’s sister, Nadia (Leem Lubany), and the two have planned a life together. But such naïveté regarding the ripple effect of his actions is devastating. How can this future be attainable after he participates in a brazen terrorist attack? It’s these kinds of moral questions that become Omar’s lifeblood.

Rami turns out to be a fascinating foil because he’s not just a government puppet or ideologue. His life beyond the film’s thrillergenre core is revealed in the middle of a key discussion with Omar. Right as the intensity of the dialogue peaks, Rami’s phone rings. It’s his wife asking when he’ll be home for dinner. Omar watches as the deceiving and conniving man who’s forced him into an impossible situation takes a personal call and shows a completely different side. This kind of flourish stings when the inevitable violence finally strikes. From a formal perspective, Omar uses its dense metropolitan terrain to create a genuine sense of urgency. Each scene feels more dangerous, as if merely turning the corner could be a life-altering decision. One climactic chase sequence involving Omar and a squadron of pursuing agents inventively veers up stairwells, across rooftops and down alleyways. Even better, the action doesn’t exist in a vacuum: The real world often gets in the way and sends these racing participants in an entirely new direction. Considering the political undertones inherent to the story, Omar’s dexterity becomes a sort of protest against the stifling limitations of his surroundings. Each step carries more than just physical weight, each leap a statement of defiance against his country’s occupation. But these concepts are hidden beneath a convincing drama about a flawed man trying his hardest to avoid the easy way out of trouble, which makes their implications far more scathing in hindsight. What becomes clearer as Omar delves deeper down a slippery and tenuous rabbit hole of betrayal is that one’s ideological life and personal life are forever intertwined. They can never be segregated, no matter how hard we try. Omar is not simply an effective thriller; it’s a morality tale with universal themes that takes on the vibe of a film noir in its fatalistic final moments. Glenn Heath Jr. mail@folioweekly.com MARCH 5-11, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25

A&E // MOVIES

MAGIC LANTERNS

Lady Love

ultiple Palme d’Or winner at Cannes this year, Blue Is the Warmest Color has just been released on DVD, so we can finally see what all the fuss is about. A French film to be sure, Blue generated considerable notoriety for its explicit sex scenes, but it was certainly not the first film about lesbian love to raise the eyebrows of mainstream viewers. Fantastic films on women who love women have varied greatly in their tone and conformity to the times. In 1967, director Mark Rydell (who later directed John Wayne’s The Cowboys and On Golden Pond) adapted D.H. Lawrence’s novella The Fox for the big screen, which in turn generated a Playboy spread on the side. The film is about two women (Sandy Dennis and Anne Heywood) alone on a remote Canadian farm in winter and the disruption in their cozy life when a typical Laurentian male (Keir Dullea) appears. The photography is gorgeous, but Rydell outdoes Lawrence in terms of laying on the symbolism thick and heavy. There’s nothing subtle about The Fox, though the sex scenes (fairly tame by today’s standards) were certainly provocative enough without being prurient. In its tragic conclusion, the film retains the novella’s ambivalence about the gender struggle. The next year, The Killing of Sister George was initially slapped with an X rating, later reduced to an R in 1972. Directed by the unlikely Robert Aldrich (The Dirty Dozen and Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?), Sister George features a ferocious performance by Beryl Reid as the middle-aged star of a British TV series who learns her character’s about to be killed off. Her tumultuous personal life has her struggling to maintain control over her younger roommate and lover (Susannah York). Aldrich and his cast pull no punches. More than just a film about lesbians in conflict, Sister George is a powerful drama (not without its comic moments) about love and loneliness in and outside the accepted social framework, as represented by the traditional BBC series in which the non-traditional title character is trying to survive. Thirty years later, in 1999, the same year Hilary Swank won her first Oscar in Boys Don’t Cry (a grim true-life story of a young woman who tried to pass as male), director Jamie Babbit chose a radically different approach in dealing with gay love. But I’m a Cheerleader uses broad satire to skewer sexual prejudices with the comic tale of a young girl (Natasha Lyonne) sent to a rehabilitation camp for homosexuals to be properly readjusted. Silly at times, hilarious at others, But I’m a Cheerleader probably scores best with its target audience, in effect preaching to the choir. No such limitations with Show Me Love, a truly marvelous 1998 Swedish gem about a lonely young high school girl who develops a crush on one of the most popular, outgoing girls in school. Charming, funny and genuinely touching, writer/director Lukas Moodysson’s first film is a treasure, featuring absolutely wonderful performances by its two leads and a conclusion that’s about as near perfect as one could imagine. In 2005, the British Film Institute ranked Show Me Love No. 6 in a list of movies children should see by age 14, ahead of Toy Story and The Wizard of Oz. Such polls tend toward the ridiculous, but Show Me Love really is that good — though it’s definitely not for Disney or the Yellow Brick Road.

Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com 26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 5-11, 2014

FILM RATINGS **** ***@ **@@ *@@@

THE WOLF OF WALL STREET WHAT’S EATING GILBERT GRAPE BLOOD DIAMOND THE AVIATOR

OTHER FILMS FROM SWASTIKA TO JIM CROW WJCT screens this 2000 documentary that reveals the little-known story of Jewish refugee scholars who were expelled from their homeland by Nazis and found new lives in historically black colleges in the American South. A community dialogue follows the screening, 5:30 p.m. March 11 at WJCT Studios, 100 Festival Park Ave., Downtown, free, registration required, 353-7770, wjct.org. TRUE TO THIS This love note to board-maker – skate, surf and snow – Volcom premieres at 5 p.m. March 16 at Aqua East Surf Shop, 696 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, free, 246-2550. Pro surfers and skaters are on hand to sign autographs. LATITUDE 30 MOVIES The Hunger Games: Catching Fire and Walking with Dinosaurs are currently screened at Latitude 30’s CineGrille Theater, 10370 Philips Highway, Southside, 365-5555, facebook.com/latitude30. WORLD GOLF HALL OF FAME IMAX THEATER We the People, Great White Shark 3D, Tornado Alley 3D and To the Arctic 3D are screened at World Golf Hall of Fame IMAX Theater, 1 World Golf Place, St. Augustine, worldgolfimax.com.

NOW SHOWING 12 YEARS A SLAVE **** Rated R Chiwetel Ejiofor is great in the powerful Oscar-winning film based on real events. He plays Solomon, a free black man in pre-Civil War New York who’s abducted, then sold into slavery for 12 cruel years. He meets a Canadian abolitionist and hopes his misery is over. Lupita Nyong’o just scored an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. Co-stars Brad Pitt, Michael Fassbender and Quvenzhané Wallis. 3 DAYS TO KILL Rated PG-13 Kevin Costner, who’s suddenly everywhere these days, plays a terminally ill Secret Service agent who’s got one last chance to live if he takes a new drug … and goes on a final top-secret mission. Hmmm – life-saving drug vs killing another human being? Toss me that Glock. 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE *G@@ Rated R • Opens March 7 Reviewed in this issue. ABOUT LAST NIGHT Rated R One-night stands may be fun, but this bunch of beautiful, young devil-may-care people takes the practice to the next level. Co-stars the quite amusing Kevin Hart, Michael Ealy, Regina Hall and Joy Bryant. AMERICAN HUSTLE **G@ Rated R Writer-director David O. Russell has fashioned a cinematic junk heap that’s likeable and engaging despite an overly long running time and sloppy screenplay. For professional scam artist Irving Rosenfeld (Christian Bale), working with the Feds is tougher than running cons. He’s helping the FBI (Bradley Cooper) nab public officials on the take in the infamous Abscam operation. Co-stars Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence. AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY ***@ Rated R The cast of director John Wells’ adaptation of Tracy Letts’ Pulitzer-winning story has Meryl Streep as Violet, crusty matriarch of a family falling apart; Julia Roberts is her daughter Barbara. Margo Martindale as Violet’s sister and Chris Cooper as her brother-in-law stand out. BETHLEHEM Not Rated • Opens March 7 at Sun-Ray Cinema An Israeli Secret Service agent cultivates a relationship of sorts with an informant, who happens to be Palestinian. Co-stars Tsahi Halevi, Shadi Mar’i and Hitham Mari. In Hebrew and Arabic.

NO SURPRISES: As expected, 12 Years A Slave took home the Academy Award for Best Picture and Lupita Nyong’o (center) won Best Supporting Actress. The film – which also stars Michael Fassbender as Edwin Epps and Chiwetel Ejiofor as Solomon Northup – came out on on DVD March 4, but is still showing in theaters. Photo: 20th Century Fox THE BROKEN CIRCLE BREAKDOWN Not Rated One of five nominees for a Best Foreign Language Film Oscar, the Belgian film features a love-at-fi rst-sight romance. Elise (Veerle Baetens), who owns a tattoo shop, and Didier (Johan Heldenbergh), a bluegrass banjo player, bond over a shared passion for culture of all things American. Their love is put to the test when their daughter becomes ill. ENDLESS LOVE Rated PG-13 Young, mismatched, lovestruck kids try to stay together when their mean old parents try to split them apart. Co-stars Gabriella Wilde, Alex Pettyfer and Bruce Greenwood.

THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE ***G Rated PG-13 In Part 2 of the trilogy, Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) is a celebrity warrior hero manipulated by the Capitol’s leader Snow (Donald Sutherland). There’s revolution in the air due to her win at the Games. Co-stars Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, Woody Harrelson, Stanley Tucci, Willow Shields (Will and Jada’s daughter) and Jack Quaid (Dennis and Meg’s son). JACK RYAN: SHADOW RECRUIT Rated PG-13 Chris Pine stars as the young Ryan, just starting out on his CIA career. Co-stars Kevin Costner, Keira Knightley and Kenneth Branagh.

FROZEN ***G Rated PG Disney’s Oscar-winning animated feature about sisters Princess Anna (Kristen Bell) and Queen Elsa (Idina Menzel), in this Golden Globe-winner. And hey, parents, check out details for the sing-along at some theaters – “Let It Go” won a Best Original Song Oscar!

THE LEGO MOVIE ***@ Rated PG Writers and directors Chris Miller and Phillip Lord’s entertaining, subversive animated feature about colorful toy bricks co-stars the vocal talents of Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Will Arnett, Chris Pratt and Will Ferrell.

HIGHWAY Not Rated Looks like a Bollywood version of Patty Hearst’s Stockholm syndrome episode years ago. Co-stars Alia Bhatt, Randeep Hooda and Durgesh Kumar. In Hindi, Nepali and English.

LONE SURVIVOR Rated R Mark Wahlberg stars in this action/bio/drama based on actual events of a failed 2005 SEAL team mission. Co-stars Emile Hirsch and Taylor Kitsch.

THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG ***@ Rated PG-13 Co-writer and director Peter Jackson has stretched J.R.R. Tolkien’s popular books into lucrative movies and made stars of the cast members, including Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage, Orlando Bloom, Evangeline Lilly, Luke Evans and Ian McKellen. Then there’s the scary titular Smaug (voiced by the versatile Benedict “Sherlock” Cumberbatch), a villainous fire-breathing dragon who lays claim to Bilbo’s homeland.

THE MONUMENTS MEN Rated PG-13 George Clooney directs and stars in this fact-based film about a group of un-soldier types – think the opposite of The Dirty Dozen – museum curators, historians and art experts who go into enemy territory during WWII to save thousands of stolen masterpieces from destruction by the Nazis. Co-stars Matt Damon, Bill Murray, John Goodman and the adorable Bob Balaban. MR. PEABODY & SHERMAN Rated PG We remember these guys from the Rocky and His Friends

AREA THEATERS AMELIA ISLAND Carmike 7, 1132 S. 14th St., Fernandina Beach, 261-9867 ARLINGTON & REGENCY AMC Regency 24, 9451 Regency Square Blvd., 264-3888 BAYMEADOWS & MANDARIN Regal Avenues 20, 9525 Philips Highway, 538-3889 BEACHES Regal Beach Blvd. 18, 14051 Beach Blvd., 992-4398 FIVE POINTS Sun-Ray Cinema@5Points, 1028 Park St., 359-0047 GREEN COVE SPRINGS Clay Theatre, 326 Walnut St., 284-9012 NORTHSIDE Regal River City, 12884 City Center Blvd., 757-9880

ORANGE PARK AMC Orange Park 24, 1910 Wells Road, (888) AMC-4FUN Carmike 12, 1820 Town Center Blvd., Fleming Island, 621-0221 SAN MARCO San Marco Theatre, 1996 San Marco Blvd., 396-4845 SOUTHSIDE Cinegrille Theater, Latitude 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 Cinemark Tinseltown, 4535 Southside Blvd., 998-2122 ST. AUGUSTINE Epic Theatres, 112 Theatre Drive, 797-5757 IMAX Theater, World Golf Village, 940-IMAX Pot Belly’s, 36 Granada St., 829-3101

A&E // MOVIES (which included Bullwinkle, who always had the wrong hat) TV cartoon series; Sherman was the kinda dopey human boy sidekick to an inventive, scholarly dog, Mr. Peabody. We especially miss the Wayback Machine, which we never knew was actually spelled WABAC. Huh. Co-stars the voices of Ty Burrell, Max Charles, Allison Janney and Stephen Colbert. NON-STOP Rated PG-13 Liam Neeson may have found his niche as an action hero, despite his astonishing turn as Oskar Schindler – you know, that guy with that list. Here he’s an air marshal being texted by a bad guy on his transatlantic fl ight, threatening to kill passengers unless he gets $150 million. Co-stars Julianne Moore, Nate Parker and a guy named Scoot McNairy, which isn’t a very distinguished actor-name. Scoot … sounds like his next movie will be Jackass 4.5. THE NUT JOB Rated PG Will Arnett voices Surly, a rebellious squirrel banned from the park to roam the mean city streets. He plans his revenge: raid the nut store. Co-stars the vocal cords of Brendan Fraser, Katherine Heigl and Jeff Dunham. OMAR ***G Not Rated • Opens March 7 at Sun-Ray Cinema Reviewed in this issue. PHILOMENA **** Rated PG-13 Writer Martin (Steve Coogan) needs a career boost. Philomena (Dame Judi Dench) wants to find the son she was forced to give up by not-so-holy nuns decades earlier. POMPEII Rated PG-13 We did a fifth-grade report on Mt. Vesuvius and the terrible volcano that wiped out a whole civilization. Shoulda waited for the movie. Co-stars Dylan Schombing, Rebecca Eady and Kiefer Can’t-wait-to-be-Jack-Bauer-again Sutherland. REPENTANCE Rated R A spiritual advisor is supposed to help dispirited folks; here the advisor is Thomas Carter (Anthony Mackie), who has a nutcase for a client, Angel (Forest Whitaker). Angel kidnaps Tommy and all hell breaks loose. With Sanaa Lathan and Mike Epps. RIDE ALONG Rated PG-13 Kevin Hart is a smart-mouthed security guard engaged to Angela (Tika Sumpter) whose brother James (Ice Cube) is a cop. Co-stars John Leguizamo and Jay Pharoah. ROBOCOP *@@@ Rated PG-13 This dreadful reboot of the 1987 cult classic is 108 minutes of blah action and half-measures. Co-stars Samuel L. Jackson, Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman and Michael Keaton. SON OF GOD **G@ Rated PG-13 Devout Christians may find it powerful, casual church-goers may find it moving but a bit heavy-handed, and some nonChristians, agnostics and atheists may think it’s preachy. Mark Burnett and Roma Downey, who plays Mary, produced. Co-stars Sebastian Knapp, Adrian Schiller (Caiaphas), Diogo Morgado (Jesus) and Amber Rose Revah (Mary Magdalene). Every time we type the title of this movie, we can’t help but think of National Lampoon’s terrific Son-O’-God Comics, by the great Sean Kelly. Now that was some holy shit. STALINGRAD Rated R Filmed on location in St. Petersburg, Russia, the action war drama is about Russian soldiers who held their own against the German army. In Russian and German. WINTER’S TALE Rated PG-13 A petty yet hot thief burgles a mansion and encounters a young woman who’s sickly yet hot. Somehow they become intertwined for life and beyond. Or before. It’s kinda iffy. Co-stars Colin Farrell and Jessica Brown Findlay, and Oscar-winners Russell Crowe and William Hurt, who must be wondering what the hell their agents are on. THE WOLF OF WALL STREET ***G Rated R Hotshot stockbroker Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio) has a mansion, yacht, jet, cars, cocaine – everything money can buy. Co-stars Jonah Hill, Rob Reiner, Kyle Chandler and Matthew McConaughey, who won an Oscar for Dallas Buyers Club. All right, all right, all right.

MARCH 5-11, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27

A&E // MOVIES

Photo: Warner Bros. Pictures

Green in All Her Glory

Advertising proof This blah ‘300’ sequel’s only highlight is its anti-heroine, this is a copyright protectedaproof © Smurfette warrior who wields power like she means it

300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE tions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn dAte: 053111 *G@@ R PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 Rated R • Opens March 7

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’m beginning to understand how supervillains are born, because I was rooting for the evil superbitch Persian naval commander Artemisia here, and I’m not even going to apologize for it. Look, Hollywood: You mostly ignore women, treat us like prizes for the film heroes, like blithering morons whose only goal in life is to find husbands. You tell us, in effect, that the stories of our lives aren’t worth telling, that we only matter as adjuncts to men’s stories. Then, you give us a movie like 300: Rise of an Empire, sequel to 300, which is like a bad Xerox made by someone who doesn’t quite know how to use the office copier. At the center of it, radiating like a dark sun, is the glory of Eva Green as Artemisia. She is a Smurfette warrior, a lone woman in a boys-only club, and men, even her own men, look on her with fear and awe. She is smarter and more competent and more ambitious than all of them put together. She commands enormous respect and wields vast power and she likes it. Green stalks this movie with pride and honor, and is almost the only thing worth seeing here. Honestly, I’m not sure I really get why she’s the bad guy at all. How am I not supposed to have my notions of right and wrong turned upside-down till I start cosplaying Artemisia at Comic-Con, just to try to grab some of her cool for myself? Guys get to cosplay Superman and Iron Man and Captain America and all those square-jawed noble dudes. If nasty Artemisia is all we chicks get, well, we’ll take her. Ignore us and mistreat us at your own peril, men. (Not coincidentally, Artemisia’s backstory has something to say about this, too.) Green manages to pull off her ferocious awesomeness in spite of director Noam Murro — who’s made only one other film, and it’s a contemporary dramedy, not an action flick. He has no idea how to create the same sense of mythic grandeur that Zack Snyder achieved with 300. Oh, he knows that every now and then he needs toss in some slo-mo, so we can (he hopes) get a grasp on the frenetic CGI cartoon battle action and enjoy some blood and brain matter splattered across our 3D glasses during the endless ancient carnage. But tossing those moments in at random doesn’t work. Still, something has to distract from the bland

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soldierliness of Greek general Themistokles; actor Sullivan Stapleton is no Gerald Butler, though he valiantly attempts to scowl in what he probably intends to be a meaningful way whenever possible. Themistokles is totally into saving Greek democracy from the bad Persians, except when the politicians don’t agree with his plan to unite Greece to fight them. Will Themistokles have to destroy democracy in order to save democracy? I’m not sure if it’s more funny or more sad, but perhaps the most damning thing I can say about Rise of an Empire is that no one is going to be moved to heated debate over whether this movie is an endorsement or an indictment of U.S. foreign policy since 9/11, as happened with 300. There’s just not enough here here to be that interesting.

If nasty Artemisia is all we chicks get, we’ll take her. It should be way more compelling, too, that events are happening alongside those of 300: When Themistokles goes to Sparta to enlist their help in the coming war with the Persians, Queen Gorgo (Lena Headey, also totally awesome, but not onscreen anywhere near enough), basically tells him to fuck off, cuz her husband is off preparing for war on his own terms. (Butler does not appear here, except in a few brief snippets snatched from the first film.) Yet, somewhat bizarrely, though almost everything is seen through Themistokles’s eyes — except when the action moves to Artemisia’s side — the film is narrated by Gorgo. And she’s telling us things she cannot possibly know about, like how Artemisia pretty much invented Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro) as a towering 10-foot-tall, bald and bejeweled god-king. (Turns out, that process is not too cool; it mostly involves hermits in a cave standing around being hermitish.) In Snyder’s hands, stuff like this — almost, you know, exactly like this — was transformed into a treatise on the power of myth and the necessity of storytelling as a cultural unifier. Here, we just wonder how Gorgo gets her information, and if we should even believe her. Though when she mentions “the stink of destiny,” it’s hard not to snort and wonder if she smells where that stink is coming from, too. MaryAnn Johanson mail@folioweekly.com

A&E // ARTS PERFORMANCE

FRANKIE VALLI & THE FOUR SEASONS The enduring singers (award-winning musical Jersey Boys is based on the group) perform 7:30 p.m. March 5 at the T-U Center, 300 Water St., Downtown, $42-$132, 442-2929, artistseriesjax.org. I OUGHT TO BE IN PICTURES Neil Simon’s classic play about a Hollywood screenwriter, played by Richard Karn of Home Improvement, who has commitment issues when a daughter he didn’t know he had shows up with dreams of stardom, at 6 p.m. March 5-16, (weekend matinees vary), at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $38-$55, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. THE SUBJECT WAS ROSES Frank Gilroy’s drama, winner of a Pulitzer, a Tony and a New York Drama Critics Circle award for best play, chronicles Timmy Cleary’s return from WWII to the Bronx in May 1946. It’s staged 7:30 March 6, 8 p.m. March 7 and 8 at Theatre Jacksonville, 2032 San Marco Blvd., San Marco, $25, 396-4425, theatrejax.com. THE MISS FIRECRACKER CONTEST Carnelle rehearses for Miss Firecracker – a win will salvage her tarnished rep – then her cousin Elaine, a former Miss Firecracker, shows up. 7:30 p.m. March 6-30 (Sunday matinees available), on Limelight Theatre’s Matuza Main Stage, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, $10-$25, 825-1164, limelight-theatre.org. CARMEN The Teatro Lirico D’Europa presents the story of a soldier’s betrayal, jealously and metamorphosis as a gypsy seduces him, 8 p.m. March 7 at the T-U Center, 300 Water St., Downtown, $44-$134, 442-2929, artistseriesjax.org MOTHERHOOD OUT LOUD What they didn’t tell you in What to Expect When You’re Expecting. The comedy shatters traditional notions about parenthood, 7:30 p.m. March 8-15, Sunday matinee 2:30 p.m. at Fernandina Little Theatre, 1014 Beech St., Fernandina Beach, $15-$16.50, ameliaflt.org. RED Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre presents the compelling story of 20th-century artist Mark Ruthko, whose struggle to accept his wealth was his ultimate undoing. 8 p.m. March 14-15, 21-22 and 27-29, 2 p.m. March 23 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, $15, 249-7177, abettheatre.com. ANGELS IN AMERICA Characters struggle with their true sexual identity in the Pulitzer-Award winning play that explores guilt, compassion, right-wing conservatism and the American state of mind at the millennium. 8 p.m. March 14-15, 20-23 and 27-29, 2 p.m. March 23 at Players by the Sea, 106 N. Sixth St., Jax Beach, $20-$23, 249-0289, playersbythesea.org. THE NOT SO NEWLYWED GAME Bob Eubanks narrates clips from the long-lasting TV game show before randomly selecting couples from the audience to play a half-hour live version, 8 p.m. March 15 at the T-U Center’s Moran Theater, , 300 W. Water St., Downtown, $42-$52, 442-2929, artistseriesjax.org. MEMPHIS The Broadway musical, about a white radio DJ in 1950s Memphis underground dance clubs and a black club singer ready for her big break, is staged 7:30 p.m. March 18-20, 8 p.m. March 21, 2 and 8 p.m. March 22, 1:30 and 7 p.m. March 23 at the T-U Center’s Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., Downtown, $47-$77, 442-2929, artistseriesjax.org. ORANGE PARK CHORALE The Chorale celebrates A Whole Lot of Years of Broadway, running the gamut of showtunes from Carousel to Guys and Dolls to Wicked, 7:30 p.m. March 14 at New Grace Church, 5804 U.S. 17, Fleming Island and 3 p.m. March 16 at Riverside Presbyterian Church, 849 Park St., Downtown, free, 273-4279, orangeparkchorale.com.

COMEDY

DOM IRRERA A six-time nominee for an American Comedy Award, with credits on big and small screens including Seinfeld, The Big Lebowski and Everybody Loves Raymond, Irrera appears 8 p.m. March 6-7 and 8 and 10 p.m. March 8 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, $18-$22, comedyzone.com. DAVE LANDAU Landau, named a Las Vegas Comedy Festival top club comic, was on two seasons of Last Comic Standing. He appears 8:04 p.m. March 6, 8:34 p.m. March 7 and 8:04 and 10:10 p.m. March 8 at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-4277, $6-$25, jacksonvillecomedy.com. KEITH ALBERSTADT Alberstadt’s been on Late Night with David Letterman and Last Comic Standing, and was an SNL writer; he appears 8:04 p.m. March 13, 7 and 8:34 p.m. March 14, 8:04 and 10:10 p.m. March 15 at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-4277, $6-$25, jacksonvillecomedy.com. MIKE RIVERA Comedian Rivera appears at 8 p.m. March 7 and 8 at Latitude 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., Southside, $10, 365-5555, latthirty.com. MAD COWFORD IMPROV Weekly improv shows based on audience suggestion are held 8:15 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at Northstar Substation, 119 E. Bay St., Downtown, $5, 233-2359, madcowford.com.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS

LIGHTNER’S HIDDEN TREASURES On a one-night-only tour of Lightner Museum’s first floor, Harriet Baskas, author of Hidden Treasures, What Museums Can’t or Won’t Show You, features rarely seen items from the off-limits fourth floor – shrunken heads, animal horn furniture and Grover Cleveland’s wedding cake. Baskas signs copies of her book 6 p.m. March 6 at Lightner Museum, 75 King St., St. Augustine, $45,

reservations 824-2874, lightnermuseum.org. SPRING FOR THE ARTS GALA Cathedral Arts Project presents the 10th annual Spring for the Arts, a benefit for CAP that includes live music by KTG Entertainment, dancing, live and silent auctions, gourmet cuisine and scotch and bourbon tastings. CAP honors Susan and Hugh Greene with its Guardian of the Arts Award at the gala, 6:30 p.m. March 7 at Deerwood Country Club, 10239 Golf Club Dr., Deerwood, $125 per person, $75 for young professionals (35 and younger), 281-5599 ext. 17, forrest@capkids.org. OPEN PORTRAIT WORKSHOP A portrait-drawing workshop is held March 8 at The Art Center II Studios, 229 N. Hogan St., Downtown, $40, 355-1757, info@tacjacksonville.com. ACTORS WORKSHOP Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre holds an eight-week actors’ workshop, 6 p.m. every Sun., March 9-April 13 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, $160 (half at registration, half at first class plan available), 249-7177, abettheatre.com. ADULT ACTING CLASS Theatre Jacksonville holds spring workshops at beginner and advanced levels, starting March 9. Beginner’s course is 4 p.m. Sun.; advanced is 5:30 p.m. Sun. at 2032 San Marco Blvd., San Marco, $180 per 8-week session, 396-4425, theatrejax.com. DEVELOPING CORPORATE SPONSORS The St. Johns Cultural Council holds a two-day developing corporate sponsors workshop, featuring one-on-one consultations with MixIt Marketing’s Rick Kern, March 11 at Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine and March 12 at SJCC Office, 15 Old Mission Ave., free, 808-7330, st.johnsculture.com. ABET CREATIVE DRAMA CAMP Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre holds an out-of-theater spring break creative drama camp for kids in grades 2-5 (unless by arrangement). Ageappropriate theater games, music and dance, improvisation and story-telling are featured. 9 a.m. March 17-21 at Discovery Montessori School, 102 15th St. S., Jax Beach, $35 per day or $160 per week, 509-1472, aine@thefirstact.net. A SUESSTASTIC SPRING BREAK Theatre Jacksonville hosts a five-day course for kids featuring acting, song, dance and improvisation, 9 a.m. March 17-21 at Theatre Jacksonville, 2032 San Marco Blvd., San Marco, $200, 396-4425, theatrejax.com. PAINTING SILK SCARVES Professional artist Elaine Bedell leads a workshop 10 a.m. March 22 at The Art Center II Studios, 229 N. Hogan St., Downtown, $40, 355-1757, info@tacjacksonville.com. STATE OF THE ARTS The St. Johns Cultural Council accepts applications from nonprofits, artists and teachers for funding of up to $500 for its Spring State of the Arts Grant. The council is interested in arts education and outreach to underserved areas. Applications must be submitted by April 15. For details, call 808-7330 or go to stjohnsculture.com. CALL TO ARTISTS The Art Center seeks photographers and video artists to present slide shows or videos at Art Walks at its studios. Artists must have their own projection equipment. $25 fee. For details, email reidartlaw@gmail.com.

CLASSICAL & JAZZ

BEACH MEETS WEST Jazz artist John Pizzarelli and UNF Jazz Ensemble share the stage, as part of the Beaches Fine Arts Series, 7:30 p.m. March 7 at UNF’s Fine Arts Center, Robinson Theater, 11852 UNF Dr., Southside, 620-3835, unf.edu, beachesfinearts.org. RACHELLE FARRELL Crossover artist Farrell performs urban contemporary pop, gospel, classical music and jazz, 7 and 10 p.m. March 14 at Ritz Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, $45, 632-5555, ritzjacksonville.com. JAZZ IN PONTE VEDRA The Gary Starling Group, featuring Carol Sheehan, Billy Thornton and Peter Miles, performs 7:30-10:30 p.m. every Thur. at Table 1, 330 A1A N., 280-5515. JAZZ IN RIVERSIDE Trumpeter Ray Callendar and guitarist Taylor Roberts are featured at 9:30 p.m. every Thur. at Kickbacks Gastropub, 910 King St., 388-9551. JAZZ IN MANDARIN Boril Ivanov Trio plays at 7 p.m. every Thur. and pianist David Gum plays at 7 p.m. every Fri. at Tree Steakhouse, 11362 San Jose Blvd., 262-0006. JAX BEACH JAZZ Live jazz is presented 6-9 p.m. every Fri. at Landshark Café, 1728 Third St. N., 246-6024. JAZZ IN NEPTUNE BEACH Live jazz is featured 7:30-9:30 p.m. every Sat. at Lillie’s Coffee Bar, 200 First St., 249-2922. JAZZ IN ST. AUGUSTINE The House Cats, 9:30 p.m.-1 a.m. every Sat. at Stogies Club & Listening Room, 36 Charlotte St., 826-4008. JAZZ IN ARLINGTON Jazzland Café features live music at 8 p.m. every Sat. and 6-9 p.m. every Tue. at 1324 University Blvd. N., 240-1009, jazzlandcafe.com. JAZZ IN ST. AUGUSTINE Live jazz is featured nightly at Rhett’s Piano Bar & Brasserie, 66 Hypolita St., 825-0502.

ART WALKS & MARKETS

FIRST WEDNESDAY ART WALK An art walk, featuring 30-40 galleries, museums and businesses and spanning 15 blocks, is held 5-9 p.m. March 5 and every first Wed., Downtown, downtownjacksonville.org/marketing; iloveartwalk.com. DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts and crafts and local produce are offered 10 a.m.-2 p.m. March 7 and every Fri. at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 353-1188. FIRST FRIDAY ART WALK The tour of Art Galleries of St. Augustine is held March 7 and every first Fri., with more than 15 galleries participating, 829-0065. RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET RAM returns with local and

MIXED MESSAGE: Fernandina-based artist Casey Matthews uses layered acrylic paint, medium, charcoal, handmade paper, tissue and oil sticks on canvas in her mixed-media abstract painting. Matthews’ Bougie is among the pieces in an exhibit also featuring works by Michelle Armas, Anna Kincaide and Thomas Hager, opening March 7 at Stellers Gallery in Ponte Vedra Beach. regional art, food artists and vendors and a farmers market, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. March 8 and every Sat. through Dec. 20 under the Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449 , riversideartsmarket.com. ARTRAGEOUS ART WALK Downtown Fernandina Beach galleries are open for self-guided tours, 5:30-8:30 p.m. March 8 and every second Sat., 277-0717, ameliaisland.com. JAX BEACH ART WALK More than 30 local artists display works, 5-9 p.m. March 11 and every second Tue., along First Street between Beach Boulevard and Fifth Avenue North, Jax Beach, betterjaxbeach.com/jax-beach-art-walk.html.

MUSEUMS

ALEXANDER BREST MUSEUM & GALLERY Jacksonville University, 2800 University Blvd. N., Arlington, 256-7371, arts.ju.edu. Kyungmin Park and Britt Spencer explore the world from uninhibited perspectives in “Function/ Dysfunction: Study of Human Condition,” through March 14. The permanent collection features carved ivory, Chinese porcelain, pre-Colombian artifacts and more. CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM Flagler College, 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530, flagler.edu/crispellert. “Ocean Floors,” an exhibit by Celeste Roberge, includes photography, cyanotypes and vessels that reflect the forms of the sea, on display March 7-April 19. CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., Riverside, 356-6857, cummer.org. The artistic and devotional contexts of painting is explored through 21 works, 19 of which are borrowed from collections in the United States and Germany. “One Family: Photographs by Vardi Kahana,” an exhibit by the Israeli photographer detailing four generations of her family, is on display through April 7. Florida State University Professor William Walmsley displays his works through July 8. “The Human Figure: Sculptures by Enzo Torcoletti” is on display through September. “A Commemoration of the Civil Rights Movement” photographs are on display through Nov. 2. JACKSONVILLE MARITIME HERITAGE CENTER 2 Independent Dr., Ste. 162, Downtown, 355-1101, jacksonvillemaritimeheritagecenter.org. The permanent collection includes steamboats, nautical-themed art, books, documents and artifacts. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992, rain.org/~karpeles/jaxfrm.html. “Breaking Free: Dark Energy, Dark Matter,” an exhibit of oil paintings by Margaret Schnebly Hodge, opens with a reception held 5:30-8 p.m. March 7 at the museum. The

exhibit continues through April 29. “Mark Twain” includes original letters, writings and illustrations on exhibit through April 26. The permanent collection includes other rare manuscripts. LIGHTNER MUSEUM 75 King St., St. Augustine, 824-2874, lightnermuseum.org. The permanent collection features relics from America’s Gilded Age, exhibited on three floors. MANDARIN MUSEUM & HISTORICAL SOCIETY 11964 Mandarin Rd., Mandarin, 268-0784, mandarinmuseum.net. Exhibits regarding Harriet Beecher Stowe and Civil War vessel Maple Leaf, and works by Mandarin artists are on display. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 366-6911, mocajacksonville.com. Ingrid Calame’s exhibit “Tarred Over Cracks” continues through March 9 as part of Project Atrium in Haskell Atrium Gallery. The exhibit “Material Transformations,” in which seven artists uncover symbolism through unconventional substances, runs through April 6. The UNF Gallery presents “Bede Clarke: Barbara Ritzman Devereux Visiting Artist Exhibition” through March 9. The Gold Key portfolio show features works by 15 winners of Northeast Florida Scholastic Art Awards show, through March. MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank, 396-6674, themosh.org. “Uncovering the Past: Archaeological Discoveries of North Florida” is on display through August. VISITOR INFORMATION CENTER 10 W. Castillo Dr., St. Augustine, 825-1000, staugustine-450.com/journey. “Journey: 450 years of the African-American Experience” is exhibited through July 15.

GALLERIES

AMIRO ART & FOUND GALLERY 9C Aviles St., St. Augustine, 824-8460, amiroartandfound.com. Kelsey Schirard’s accumulations of wrapped jewelry and 3-D artistry is on display beginning March 7 at First Friday Art Walk. Sculptures by Alexander Wilds are also displayed. THE ART CENTER MAIN GALLERY 31 W. Adams St., Downtown, 355-1757, tacjacksonville.org/main.html. Elaine Bedell’s exhibit “Walk in the Woods” features local landscapes, through March. Paintings, pastels, sketches and photography by a diverse group of member artists is displayed. THE ART CENTER PREMIER GALLERY 50 N. Laura St., Downtown, 355-1757, tacjacksonville.org/premier-gallery. The exhibit “A Celebration of Cultures” runs through March 6. “The Woods” exhibit, featuring artwork using wood to depict forests and trees, runs March 6-May 6.

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BUTTERFIELD GARAGE ART GALLERY 137 King St., St. Augustine, 825-4577, butterfieldgarage.com. The artist-run gallery features a wide range of traditional and contemporary art by several local artists. CORSE GALLERY & ATELIER 4144 Herschel St., Riverside, 388-8205, corsegalleryatelier.com. Works on permanent display feature those by artists Kevin Beilfuss, Eileen Corse, Miro Sinovcic, Maggie Siner, Alice Williams and Luana Luconi Winner. FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928, firststreetgalleryart.com. Mermaid artwork is on display in all media types by local artists including Linda Olsen, Mary Hubley, Tracy Womack, Pat Livesay and JoAnne Adams, through April 1. FLORIDA MINING GALLERY 5300 Shad Rd., Southside, 425-2845, floridamininggallery.com. Ambler Hutchinson’s exhibit “Visual Artifacts: Part One” features different mediums that express the complexity of human psychology, on display through March 14. FSCJ SOUTH CAMPUS ART GALLERY 11901 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-2023, fscj.edu. Works by Duval County public high school students and Duval Art Teachers Association members are on display through March 14. GALLERY725 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 5, Atlantic Beach, 345-9320, gallery725.com. Works and hand-crafted gifts by local artists are featured, along with a selection of national and international works. THE GALLERY AT HOUSE OF STEREO 8780 Perimeter Park Ct., Ste. 100, Southside, 642-6677, houseofstereo.com. Painting, art glass, photography, woodcrafts, pottery and sculpture are featured. GEORGIA NICK GALLERY 11A Aviles St., St. Augustine, 806-3348, georgianickgallery.com. The artist-owned studio displays Nick’s sea and landscape photography, along with local works by oil painters, a mosaic artist, potter, photographer and author. HASKELL GALLERY & DISPLAY CASES Jacksonville International Airport, 14201 Pecan Park Rd., Northside, 741-3546. Paintings by Candace Fasano and Marie Shell, examining beauty in the natural world, are displayed through March 28 in Haskell Gallery before security. John Cheer’s decorative wall plates and sculpture, inspired by the sea’s energy and nature, are displayed through April 7 in Connector Bridge Art display case before security. Photographer John Adams’ “Evanescent Trawlers of the South” series examines the vessels from Southern harbors, displayed through April 4 in Concourse A and C display cases after security. HIGHWAY GALLERY floridamininggallery.com/exhibitions/ the-highway-gallery. Nine artists – Nathaniel Artkart Price, Ken Daga, Ashley C. Waldvogel, Brianna Angelakis, Christina Foard, Linda Olsen, Sara Pedigo, Zach Fitchner and Russell Maycumber – are featured on digital billboards throughout the city through July 2014. THE LOOKING LAB 107 E. Bay St., Downtown, 917-239-3772. “Art in Empty Store Fronts” features multimedia video art and sculptures by Crystal Floyd and David Montgomery. LUFRANO INTERCULTURAL GALLERY 1 UNF Dr., Student Union Bldg. 58E, Ste. 2401, Southside, 620-2475. Jacksonville native Elizabeth Brown Eagle’s exhibit, “Visions of Grace,” features mixed-media photo collages based on her experiences working with Samburu and Maasai tribes in Northeastern Kenya and the Xhosa people in Port Elizabeth, South Africa. The exhibit is displayed through March 21. PALENCIA FINE ARTS ACADEMY AND GALLERY 701 Market St., St. Augustine, 819-1584, palenciafineartsacademy.com. Stacie Hernandez’s show “Elements,” about the power of natural elements, runs through March 21. PINGLEHEAD BREWING COMPANY 14B Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 276-5159, pinglehead.com. Local artists can submit original works to “Local Motives – A Pop Up Art Show” by noon on March 6. PLANTATION ARTISTS’ GUILD & GALLERY 94 Amelia Village Circle, Amelia Island, 432-1750, artamelia.com. Spanish oil paintings by Dionisio Rodriquez are exhibited through April 12. SAWGRASS VILLAGE ARTS GALLERY 1520 Sawgrass Village Dr., Ponte Vedra, 273-4925, villageartspvb.com. Impressionistic Florida Landscapes by Laurel Dagnillo are displayed through March 29. STELLERS GALLERY 240 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, 273-6065, stellersgallery.com. New works by Michelle Armas, Casey Matthews, Anna Kincaide and Thomas Hager are on display March 7. ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., St. Augustine, 824-2310, staaa.org. The exhibit “Canvas, Clay, Collage and Cutting Edge,” exploring different ideas and materials using four themes, is on display March 7-30. SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 201 N. Hogan St., Ste. 100, Downtown, 553-6361, southlightgallery.com. First Wednesday Art Walk features 25 local artists’ works on March 5. SPACE:EIGHT GALLERY 228 W. King St., St. Augustine, 829-2838, spaceeight.com. Features lowbrow, pop surrealism, street and underground art by nationally and internationally acclaimed artists. For a complete list of arts events, go to folioweekly. com/calendar. To submit your arts-related event, email djohnson@folioweekly.com. Deadline for print is 4 p.m. Mon., 10 days before publication. Due to space constraints, not all events appear in print.

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A&E // COMEDY

Bill Maher, on the Edge

The HBO host talks Hillary Clinton, being put out to pasture and the wussification of the Democratic Party BILL MAHER 7:30 p.m. March 16, The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, $45-$95, 355-5661, floridatheatre.com

ill Maher, by his own assessment, is not long for this world. “The truth is, at some point, everybody gets put out to pasture in television,” he says about his weekly HBO show, Real Time. “I [recently did] my last appearance [on Jay Leno], my last appearance after — I can’t even tell ya how many times Jay and I have done our little dog-and-pony show. They’re putting him out to pasture, they put Johnny Carson out to pasture and they’ll put me out to pasture someday. And when it ends, I’ll still have standup. It’s what I started with. It’s what I end with. And it’s really what is still the most fun.” Real Time, now in its 11th season, was Maher’s follow-up to his long-running panel show Politically Incorrect, which ended in an unceremonious cancellation following remarks he made a week after the 2001 terrorist attacks. (“We have been the cowards, lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That’s cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it’s not cowardly.”) Both on Real Time and in his stand-up routines, Maher is unrepentant as ever, and takes a certain glee in provocation, in going over the top. Maher distinguishes between his two audiences (the studio audience versus his stand-up crowd) thusly: “The audience that comes to the television taping is not necessarily that well informed. I think sometimes they come to the taping to get informed, which is fine. That’s one of the reasons I do Real Time. The person I have in my mind is the person who doesn’t have time during the week to follow all the news. But the stand-up audience, they know everything, and they’re never offended. They’re not too politically correct. And they want me to always go to the edge, so that’s a very different audience.” Maher has never shied from that edge. His books, take-offs from the “New Rules” segment of his Real Time show, and especially his 2008 documentary Religulous, in which he skewered organized religions of all stripes, embody his irreverence. And it’s not

posturing. Personally (yet still very publicly), he endorses the legalization of drugs and prostitution, and he’s a vocal animal rights and gay marriage advocate. “I think you always have to be a little out front of where the audience is. You are supposed to be the leader, not the follower,” he says. “A lot of people are the followers. A lot of people have a slavish devotion to their own audience’s sensibilities. That’s one way to do it. I don’t disrespect it. It’s just not the way I work. I would rather have the audience sometimes ‘Ooo’ and ‘Ahh,’ because I want to be on the edge. I want to be beyond where they are. Just like a band that puts out a record that’s ahead of its time. That’s OK. That’s what an artist should do.”

“You are supposed to be the leader, not the follower.” Shunned by the church, hated by the GOP and marginalized by many Democrats (who are scared shitless that their name might be mentioned in the same sentence as his), Maher is determined to remain politically outspoken — and, yes, he’s still proud of the term “liberal.” Yes, his fellow liberals are moving away from that term, favoring instead the label “progressive,” but he sees this as a wuss move, not unlike the Democratic Party’s slow slide toward conservatism. Maher understands that centrists are likely to get elected, which is one reason he’s certain that Hillary Clinton will be the next president of the United States. “I think the odds are in her favor,” he says. “I don’t think the GOP has a great field, but I also think that sometimes you are just in the current of history, and she is there right now. This country, now that it’s had a black president, wants a woman president.” Still, Maher is less concerned about the death of the term liberal than he is about the death of liberalism. He’d like to see a politician stand up and defend true liberal policies. “That’s what I worry about,” he says. “The pull to the right, in which the Democrats always find themselves caught in the undertow.” John E. Citrone mail@folioweekly.com MARCH 5-11, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31

DINING DIRECTORY To have your restaurant listed, contact your account manager or Sam Taylor, 904.260.9770 ext. 111 staylor@folioweekly.com DINING DIRECTORY KEY

Average Entrée Cost: $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up = Beer, Wine = Full Bar C = Children’s Menu = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner *Bite Club Certified! = Hosted a free Folio Weekly Bite Club tasting. Join at fwbiteclub.com. BOJ = 2013 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH, YULEE

BARBERITOS, 1519 Sadler Rd., 277-2505. 463867 S.R. 200, Ste. 5, Yulee, 321-2240. F Southwest madeto-order fresh: burritos, tacos, quesadillas, nachos. Handcrafted salsa: tomatoes, cilantro, onions, peppers. $$ C L D Daily BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality, upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ C L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. 3rd St., 277-5269. F In historic building, family-owned spot has eclectic cuisine: homemade veggie burgers, fresh seafood, made-from-scratch desserts. Inside or on oak-shaded patio. Karibrew Pub has beer brewed onsite. $$ C L D Tue.-Sat.; L Daily CIAO ITALIAN BISTRO, 302 Centre St., 206-4311. Authentic Italian fare in an upscale bistro: pizzas, pasta dishes, entrées, Italian wines. $$$ D Nightly DAVID’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, 802 Ash St., 310-6049. In Historic District. Fresh seafood, prime aged meats, rack of lamb served in an elegant, chic spot. $$$$ D Nightly HALFTIME SPORTS BAR & GRILL, 320 S. 8th St., 321-0303. Sports bar fare: onion rings, spring rolls, burgers, wraps, wings. $ L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444. F In renovated 1887 shotgun house. Favorites: jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, vegan, vegetarian selections. Dine inside or on the porch. $$ C B L D Daily LULU’S @ THOMPSON HOUSE, 11 S. 7th St., 432-8394. F Creative lunch menu: po’boys, salads and seafood little plates served in a historic house. Dinner: fresh local seafood, Fernandina shrimp. Reservations recommended. $$$ C R Sun.; L D Tue.-Sat. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400. F See Riverside. BOJ. $ L D Mon.-Sat. THE MUSTARD SEED CAFE, 833 TJ Courson Rd., 277-3141. Awarded Snail of Approval. Casual organic eatery and juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juice, coffee, herbal tea. $$ B L Mon.-Sat. THE PECAN ROLL BAKERY, 122 S. 8th St., 491-9815. Historic district. More than nuts; sweet & savory pastries, bagels, cookies, cakes, breads, cronuts, breakfast items. $ B L D Wed.-Sun. PLAE, 80 Amelia Village Cir., 277-2132. Bite Club. Omni Amelia Island Plantation Spa & Shops. Bistro-style venue has an innovative menu: whole fried fish and duck breast. Outdoor dining. $$$ D Mon.-Sat. SALTY PELICAN BAR & GRILL, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811. F Killer ICW sunset view from upstairs outdoor bar. T.J. and Al offer local seafood, Mayport shrimp, fish tacos, po’boys, the original broiled cheese oysters. $$ C L D Daily SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652. F BOJ. Oceanfront place serves award-winning handmade crab cakes, fresh seafood, fried pickles. Outdoor dining, open-air 2nd floor, balcony. $$ C L D Daily THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711. F Oceanview dining, inside or on the deck. New menu: Steaks, seafood, nightly specials, healthy options. $$ L D Daily TIMOTI’S FRY SHAK, 21 N. 3rd St., 310-6550. F Casual seafood spot has fresh, local wild-caught shrimp, fish, oysters, blackboard specials, seafood baskets. $ C L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. 8th St., 261-6310. F This spot in an old gas station offers blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ B L Mon.-Sat.

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 8818 Atlantic Blvd., 720-0106. F See San Marco. $$ C L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd. F See Baymeadows. $ C B L D Daily RACK ’EM UP BILLIARDS, 1825 Univ. Blvd. N., 745-0335. F Cigar & hookah lounge, billiards tables, full kitchen, subs. 200+ imported, domestic beers. $ R Sat.-Sun.; D Nightly

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

ALE PIE HOUSE, 3951 St. Johns Ave., 503-8000. Pizza made your way, subs, paninis, calzone, stromboli, wraps, dinners. Gluten-free, vegan cheese available. $$ C L D Daily BAGEL LOVE, 4114 Herschel St., Ste. 121, 634-7253 BOJ. Yankee-style bagels, sandwiches, wraps, soups, bakery items, fresh-squeezed OJ, coffee, smoothies, tea. Homecooked turkey, chicken, roast beef. Free Wi-Fi. Locally

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owned and operated. Outdoor patio dining. $ C B L Daily THE CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966. F BOJ. Middle Eastern/Mediterranean fare. Patio, hookah lounge. Wi-Fi, bellydancers, hookahs. $$ L D Daily ESPETO BRAZILIAN STEAK HOUSE, 4000 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 40, 388-4884. F Churrascaria’s gauchos carve the meat to your plate from serving tables. $$$ D Tue.-Sun. FLORIDA CREAMERY, 3566 St. Johns Ave., 619-5386. Premium ice cream, fresh waffle cones, milkshakes, sundaes and Nathan’s grilled hot dogs, served in Florida-centric décor. Low-fat and sugar-free choices. $ C L Mon.-Sat. THE FOX RESTAURANT, 3580 St. Johns Ave., 3872669. F Owners Ian & Mary Chase offer fresh diner fare, homemade desserts. Breakfast all day. Burgers, meatloaf, fried green tomatoes. Local landmark for 50+ years. $$ C L D Daily GREEN MAN GOURMET, 3543 St. Johns Ave., 384-0002. F Organic/natural products, spices, teas, salts. $ Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 4530 St. Johns Ave., 388-8828. F See San Marco. $$ C L D Daily LET THEM EAT CAKE! 3604 St. Johns, Ste. 2, 389-2122. Artisan bakery. Coffee, croissants, muffins, cupcakes, pastries, desserts. Cakes made-to-order. $ Tue.-Sat. MOJO NO. 4 URBAN BBQ & WHISKEY BAR, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670. F BOJ. Southern blues kitchen. Pulled pork, Carolina barbecue, chicken-fried steak, Delta fried catfish, hummus, shrimp & grits, specialty cocktails. $$ C B L D Daily SAKE HOUSE #5 JAPANESE GRILL SUSHI BAR, 3620 St. Johns Ave., 388-5688. F See Riverside. $$ L D Daily SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., Ortega, 387-1000. F Down-home cooking from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, fried chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings. BYOB. $$ C L D Mon.-Sat. TERRA, 4260 Herschel St., 388-9124. Local, sustainable creative world cuisine. Small plates: pork belly skewers, chorizo stuffed mushrooms; entrées: lamb chops, seared tuna, ribeye. Craft beers, onsite organic garden. $$ D Mon.-Sat.

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., 731-4300. F BOJ. See Beaches. $ C L D Daily BROADWAY RISTORANTE & PIZZERIA, 10920 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 3, 519-8000. F Family-owned&-operated Italian pizzeria serves calzones, strombolis, wings, brick-oven-baked pizza, subs, desserts. Delivery. $$ C L D Daily INDIA’S RESTAURANT, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777. F Authentic Indian cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetable dishes, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ L Mon.-Sat.; D Nightly LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 8206 Philips Hwy., 732-9433. F See San Marco. $$ C L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., 737-7740. 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F Piles ’em high, serves ’em fast. Natural meats, cheeses are hormone-, antibioticand gluten-free; rolls are gluten-free. $ C B L D Daily MANDALOUN MEDITERRANEAN LEBANESE CUISINE, 9862 Old Baymeadows Rd., 646-1881. F Bite Club. Authentic Lebanese cuisine, charcoal-grilled lamb kebab. Bellydancing Fri.-Sat. Outdoor seating. $$ L D Tue.-Sun. PATTAYA THAI GRILLE, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1, 646-9506. F Authentic, family-owned since 1990, Thai restaurant. Extensive menu of traditional Thai, vegetarian, new-Thai includes curries, seafood, noodles, soups. Lowsodium, gluten-free dishes, too. $$$ L D Tue.-Sun. PIZZA PALACE, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., 527-8649. F See San Marco. $$ C L D Daily STICKY FINGERS, 8129 Point Meadows Way, 493-7427. F Memphis-style rib house slow-smokes meats over hickory. Award-winning ribs, barbecue, rotisserie chicken, signature sauces. Screened patio. $$ C L D Daily

BEACHES

(Locations are Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Ctr., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002. F BOJ. 20+ years, seven locations. New York-style & gourmet pizzas. $ C L D Daily BUDDHA THAI BISTRO, 301 10th Ave. N., 712-4444. F Proprietors are from Thailand; dishes made with fresh ingredients from tried-and-true recipes. $$ L D Daily CAMPECHE BAY CANTINA, 127 1st Ave. N., 249-3322. F Chili rellenos, tamales, fajitas, enchiladas, fish tacos, fried ice cream, margaritas. $$ C D Nightly CASA MARIA, 2429 S. 3rd St., 372-9000. F See Springfield. $ C L D Daily CULHANE’S IRISH PUBLIC HOUSE, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595. Bite Club. Irish pub run by County Limerick sisters. Shepherd’s pie, corned beef; gastro pub menu. $$ C R Sat. & Sun.; D Tue.-Sun. DIRTY REDS, 1451 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 372-9438. This super-casual hangout has shrimp & grits, po’ boys, smoked ribs and brisket, red beans & rice, all sorts of downhome sides. $$ C D Nightly ENGINE 15 BREWING CO., 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217, 249-2337. F BOJ. Gastropub fare: soups, salads, flatbreads, specialty sandwiches, including BarBe-Cuban and beer dip. Craft beers. $ C L D Daily GREGORY PAUL’S, 215 4th Ave. S., 372-4367. Greg Rider offers freshly prepared meals, catering. $$ Mon.-Fri.

Chef Adam Sears displays his lavender-crusted duck breast with fennel potato puree, candied fennel and roasted peaches, featured at Merge in Fernandina Beach. Photo: Dennis Ho LANDSHARK CAFE, 1728 3rd St. N., 246-6024. F Locally owned & operated. Fresh, right-off-the-boat local seafood, fish tacos, houseground burgers, wings, handcut fries, tater tots; daily specials. $$ C L D Daily; R Sun. LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1222 3rd St. S., 372-4495. F See San Marco. $$ C L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 657 N. 3rd St., 247-9620. F See Baymeadows. $ C B L D Daily LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 1st St., Beaches Town Ctr., Neptune Beach, 249-2922. F Beaches landmark. Locally roasted coffee, bagels, flatbreads, sandwiches, desserts. Indoors or out; patio, courtyard. $$ B L D Daily M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Ctr., Atlantic Beach, 241-2599. F BOJ. Medure Bros. offer burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes. Indoors or out. $$ L D Daily MARLIN MOON GRILLE, 1183 Beach Blvd., 372-4438. F Sportfishing-themed casual spot. Fresh crab cakes, burgers, daily specials, craft beers, Orange Crushes, freshcut fries. $$ C R Sun.; D Wed.-Mon. MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1018 3rd St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600. F Bite Club. BOJ. Funky spot serves gourmet pizzas, hoagies, salads. Pies range from Mighty Meaty to vegetarian like Kosmic Karma. $ C L D Daily MEZZA LUNA PIZZERIA RISTORANTE, 110 1st St., Beaches Town Ctr., Neptune Beach, 249-5573. F Bistro fare (20+ years), gourmet wood-fired pizzas, herb-crusted mahi mahi. Indoors, patio. $$$ C D Mon.-Sat. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT & BLUES BAR, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636. F BOJ. Funky Southern blues kitchen. Pulled pork, Carolina-style barbecue, chicken-fried steak, Delta fried catfish. $$ C B L D Daily NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach, 372-4105. Bite Club. Veal osso buco, calypso crusted mahi mahi with plantain chips. $$$ C L D Daily POE’S TAVERN, 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7637. F American gastropub. Gourmet burgers, fish tacos, handcut fries, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ C L D Daily RAGTIME TAVERN & SEAFOOD GRILL, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 F 30+ years. Popular seafood place has lots of Best of Jax readers poll awards. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. $$ L D Daily RENNA’S PIZZA, 592 Marsh Landing Pkwy., 273-3113. F See Mandarin. $$ C L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 1018 3rd St. N., 372-4456. F BOJ. Signature tuna poke bowl, fresh sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp. Open-air space. $$ C L D Daily SHIM SHAM ROOM, 333 1st St. N., Ste. 150, 372-0781. F BOJ. Seasonal menu of “cheap eats”: bar bites, chicken & waffles, badass fries, tacos. $$ D Nightly WIPEOUTS GRILL, 1585 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 247-4508. F Casual sports spot serves burgers, wings, fish tacos in a chill atmosphere. $ C L D Daily

DOWNTOWN

AVOCADOS, 311 W. Ashley St., Ste. 1, 683-9947. Mac & cheese, Southwestern wrap, French dip. Fresh ingredients, cooked to order. $ B L D Mon.-Sat. CAFÉ NOLA @ MOCAJAX, 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911. Museum of Contemporary Art. Shrimp & grits, sandwiches, fish tacos, desserts. $$ L Mon.-Fri.; D Thur. & ArtWalk CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282. F Owner/chef Sam Hamidi serving Italian fare 35+ years: veal, seafood, pizza. Homemade salad dressing. $$ C L D Mon.-Sat. CHOMP CHOMP, 106 E. Adams St., 762-4667. F Chefinspired street food: panko-crusted chicken, burgers, chinois tacos, bahn mi, barbecue. $ L Tue.-Sat.; D Fri. & Sat.

DE REAL TING CAFÉ, 128 W. Adams St., 633-9738. F Caribbean spot features jerk or curried chicken, conch fritters, curried goat, oxtail. $ L Tue.-Fri.; D Fri.-Sat. FIONN MACCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT, Ste. 176, Jax Landing, 374-1547. F BOJ. Fish & chips, black-andtan brownies, Guinness lamb stew. $$ C L D Daily ZODIAC GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283. F American & Mediterranean fare, casual spot. Panini, vegetarian dishes, daily lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. $ L Mon.-Fri.

FLEMING ISLAND

BRICK OVEN PIZZERIA & GASTROPUB, 1811 Town Center Blvd., 278-1770. F Family-owned-and-operated; offers freshly made brick-oven pizzas, specialty burgers, melts, wraps, craft beers. Gluten-free items. $$ C L D Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1571 C.R. 220, Ste. 100, 215-2223. F See San Marco. $$ C L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999. F See Beaches. Bite Club. BOJ. $ C L D Daily MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. F BOJ. See Beaches. $$ C B L D Daily WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198. F Real fish camp serves gator tail, freshwater catfish, traditional meals, daily specials on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. $ C L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly YOUR PIE, 1545 C.R. 220, Ste. 125, 379-9771. F Bite Club. Fast, casual pizza concept: Choose from 3 doughs, 9 sauces, 7 cheeses and 40+ toppings to create your own pizza pie. Subs, sandwiches, gelato. $$ C L D Daily

INTRACOASTAL WEST

AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F 2013 BOJ. See Beaches. $ C L D Daily CASTILLO DE MEXICO, 12620 Beach Blvd., Ste. 19, 998-7006. F 15+ years. Extensive menu served in authentic Mexican décor. Weekday lunch buffet. $$ L D Daily EPIK BURGER, 12740 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 105, 374-7326. F 34+ burgers of grass-fed beef, ahi tuna, all-natural chicken; vegan items; gluten-free options. $ L D Mon.-Sat. LA NOPALERA MEXICAN, 14333 Beach Blvd., 992-1666. F See San Marco. $$ C L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 642-6980. F See Baymeadows. $ C B L D Daily MAHARLIKA HALL & SPORTS GRILL, 14255 Beach Blvd., Ste. E, 699-0759. Filipino-Am restaurant/market. Pancit bami, lumpia, turon strudle, halo halo. $-$$ C R L D Daily MY MOCHI FROZEN YOGURT, 13546 Beach Blvd., Ste. 1A, 821-9880. See St. Johns Town Center. $ Daily TIME OUT SPORTS GRILL, 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 223-6999. F Locally-owned-&-operated grill. Handtossed pizzas, wings, wraps. $$ L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly

JULINGTON CREEK

PIZZA PALACE, 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, 230-2171. F See San Marco. $$ C L D Daily SAUCY TACO, 450 S.R. 13 N., Ste. 113, 287-8226. F Light Mexican, American influences. 40 beers on draft. $$ C B, Sat.-Sun.; L D Daily

MANDARIN

AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F BOJ. See Beaches. $ C L D Daily ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199. Dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant). Greek beers. $$ L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. BRAZILIAN JAX CAFE, 9825 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 20, 880-3313. F Steaks, sausages, chicken, burgers, fish, hot sandwiches, fresh ingredients. $$ B L D Mon.-Sat.

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Corner Taco has two main vegan dishes: the 5 Points taco, loaded with freshly made hummus and tabouli atop a homemade corn tortilla, and the seared asparagus taco, finished with flaked Maldon salt. Both are served with shredded red cabbage, chile-lemon sauce, a lime wedge and cilantro sprigs. Photo: Jessica Campbell

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hat’s 31 days long, full of health benefits and colorful vegetables, and has local community and restaurant support? If you guessed No Meat March, you win. (I probably shouldn’t proclaim “winner, winner, chicken dinner!”) Foregoing meat is gaining momentum for a number of reasons, and while many already honor Meatless Monday — dedicating one day a week to conscientious vegetarianism — No Meat March (nomeatmarch.com) encourages Northeast Floridians to take a 31-day pledge to give up meat and seafood. As a participant for the past two years, I found my energy increased and I began craving leafy greens and juicy fruits. Honestly, tempeh and tofu (which, when cooked properly, is quite versatile) are delicious and enabled me to experience one of the best Reuben sandwiches of my life, made with tempeh, sauerkraut and avocado on pressed ciabatta bread. Local meteorologist Julie Watkins, a vegan all the time (not just Mondays, and not just March), helped found Girls Gone Green in 2007 to bring awareness to the environment, animal welfare and health. “Everything is connected,” she says, “and how we look at one greatly impacts the others.” Meat-free for nearly 20 years, Watkins has several favorite places around the area with menu items she recommends. “Happy Cup in Atlantic Beach has the yummiest wraps — the strawberry with hazelnut, almonds and agave is the best,” she raves. “And Tapa That [in 5 Points] has mushroom quesadillas that are amazing!” Looking for easy meat-free options? Hit these spots: any Mellow Mushroom, any Tropical Smoothie (which carries Beyond Meat, chicken-free strips you can substitute in any menu item), Buddha Thai Bistro and any European Street Café. “No Meat March is a short-term

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• Corner Taco food truck has opened a brick-and-mortar restaurant at 818 Post St. in 5 Points, serving lunch and dinner.

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• Anatolia Grill & Bar, at 9825 San Jose Blvd., recently closed. commitment and challenge that will take you out of your box,” says Jessica Campbell, co-founder of Jax Vegan Love. “It will inspire you to explore new recipes at home and try new menu items you may have previously overlooked when dining out.” Campbell has been meat-free for three years. JVL was created in March 2013 as a way for her and others to share their passion and enthusiasm for all things meatless on the First Coast. “My goal since day one has always been to work with local restaurants to get more vegan items added — and clearly labeled — on menus,” she says. She loves the Hanna Park sandwich offered at Native Sun Natural Foods, tofu bahn mi at Cafe Freda in Riverside, sautéed string beans and Mongolian tofu from Chef Chan Asian Cuisine in Baymeadows, vegan eggrolls and eggplant pra ram from Buddha Thai Bistro in Jax Beach, 5-Points hummus and tabouli taco at Corner Taco, and the ginger teriyaki tofu bowl served at Burrito Gallery downtown. And who can forget coconut bacon doughnuts at Riverside’s Sweet Theory Baking Company? So doughy and delicious — I have to say I’m a huge fan, too.

Caron Streibich biteclub@folioweekly.com facebook.com/folioweeklybitesized MARCH 5-11, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33

GRILL ME!

DINING DIRECTORY A WEEKLY Q&A WITH PEOPLE IN THE FOOD BIZ

NAME: Melissa Day RESTAURANT: Aviles Restaurant, Hilton Historic Bayfront, 32 Avenida Menendez, St. Augustine BIRTHPLACE: Knoxville, Tenn. YEARS IN THE BIZ: 12 FAVORITE RESTAURANT (other than mine): Plan B Burger Bar, in Connecticut FAVORITE COOKING STYLE: Sushi FAVORITE INGREDIENTS: Fresh herbs, veggies, mushrooms IDEAL MEAL: One cooked by someone else WILL NOT CROSS MY LIPS: Cocktail onions NOTABLE RESTAURANT EXPERIENCE: Fourth of July fireworks on the bay INSIDER’S SECRET: Habañeros make tequila go down easier. CELEBRITY SIGHTING: Billy Corgan and Ted Nugent CULINARY TREAT: Chocolate-covered anything

BROOKLYN PIZZA, 11406 San Jose Blvd., 288-9211. 13820 St. Augustine Rd., 880-0020. F Brooklyn Special Pizza is a fave. Calzones, white pizza, homestyle lasagna. $$ L D Daily GIGI’S RESTAURANT, 3130 Hartley Rd., 694-4300. F Prime rib & crab leg buffet Fri.-Sat., blue-jean brunch Sun., daily breakfast, lunch, dinner buffets. $$$ B R L D Daily LA NOPALERA, 11700 San Jose Blvd., 288-0175. F See San Marco. $$ C L D Daily LARRY’S, 11365 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 674-2945. F See Baymeadows. $ C B L D Daily KAZU JAPANESE RESTAURANT, 9965 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 35, 683-9903. 17+ years of sushi skills. Uni, toro, Jaguar, Florida sunrise, spectrum, rock shrimp tempura, jalapeño shrimp. $$ L D Daily RACK ’EM UP BILLIARDS, 4268 Oldfield Crossing Dr., 262-4030. See Arlington. $ R Sat.-Sun.; D Nightly RENNA’S PIZZA, 11111 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 12, 292-2300. F Casual New York-style pizzeria. Calzones, antipasto, parmigiana, homemade breads. $$ C L D Daily

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York-style pizza. $$ C L D Daily THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Road, 272-5959. Upscale restaurant. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup. Homemade desserts. $$$ D Tue.-Sat. LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1930 Kingsley Ave., 276-2776. F See San Marco. $$ C L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 700 Blanding, Ste. 15, 272-3553. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 1330 Blanding, 276-7370. 1404 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove Springs, 284-7789. F See Baymeadows. $ C B L D Daily PREVATT’S SPORTS BAR & GRILL, 2620 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 17, Middleburg, 282-1564. F Neighborhood sportsbar. Familiar fare, spirits. $$ C L D Daily RENNA’S PIZZA, 6001 Argyle Forest Blvd., Ste. 16, 771-7677. F See Mandarin. $$ C L D Daily TED’S MONTANA GRILL, 8635 Blanding Blvd., 771-1964. See St. Johns Town Center. $$$ C L D Daily THAI GARDEN, 10 Blanding Blvd., Ste. B, 272-8434. Pad kraw powh, roasted duck, kaeng kari. Fine wines, imported, domestic beers. $$ L Mon.-Fri.; D Nightly

PONTE VEDRA, NW ST. JOHNS

ALICE & PETE’S PUB, 1000 PGA Tour Blvd., Sawgrass Marriott, 285-7777. Dominican black bean soup, Pete’s Designer club sandwich. Outside dining. $$$ L D Daily AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A, 543-1494. F BOJ. See Beaches. $ C L D Daily JJ’S LIBERTY BISTRO, 330 A1A N., Ste. 209, 273-7980. Traditional French cuisine: escargot, paté, steak frites, crêpes. Specials, pastries; French wines. $ $ L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 830 A1A N., Ste. 6, 273-3993. F See Baymeadows. $ C B L D Daily RESTAURANT MEDURE, 818 A1A N., 543-3797. Dishes with international flavors. Small plates. $$$ D Mon.-Sat. TABLE 1, 330 A1A N., Ste. 208, 280-5515. Upscale, casual. Sandwiches, flatbreads, burgers, entrées. $$$ L D Daily

RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE

AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F BOJ. See Beaches. $ C L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 869 Stockton St., Stes. 1-2, 855-1181. F BOJ. Small-batch, artisanal approach to roasting coffee. Organic, fair trade. $ B L Daily GINA’S DELICATESSEN, 1325 Cassat Ave., 353-9903. In Duval Honda showroom. Mediterranean-style sandwiches. Nawleansstyle beignets, café au lait with chicory. $ B L Daily GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET 2007 Park St., 384-4474. F BOJ. Juice bar has cer tified organic fruit, vegetables. Artisanal cheese, 300+ craft/import beer, 50 organic wines, produce, meats, wraps, raw, vegan. $ B L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794. 7859 Normandy Blvd., 781-7600. 5733 Roosevelt Blvd., 446-9500. 8102 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 1, 779-1933. F See Baymeadows. $ C B L D Daily MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., Murray

34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 5-11, 2014

SAN JOSE, LAKEWOOD

EMPEROR’S GENTLEMAN’S CLUB 4923 University Blvd. W., Lakewood, 739-6966. Upscale steakhouse features steaks, burgers, seafood and wings. $$ L D Daily FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., Lakewood, 636-8688. F New upscale sushi spot serves fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ C L D Daily MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200. F BOJ. See Beaches. $$ C B L D Daily URBAN ORGANICS, 5325 Fairmont St., Spring Park, 398-8012. Weekly coop every Monday that offers local, fresh fruits and vegetables in bags of 10, 20 or 30 pounds.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK, ST. NICHOLAS

Hill, 389-4442. F Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, by the pie or the slice. $ L D Mon.-Sat. THE MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434. Ahi tuna tacos, goat cheese enchiladas, gouda quesadillas, chicken enchiladas. Indoor, patio. $$ C L D Daily O’BROTHERS IRISH PUB, 1521 Margaret St., 854-9300. F Traditional Irish: shepherd’s pie, Scotch eggs, Guinness mac-n-cheese, fish-n-chips. Patio. $$ C L D Daily SAKE HOUSE #1 JAPANESE GRILL SUSHI BAR, 824 Lomax St., 301-1188. F Traditional Japanese cuisine, fresh sushi, sashimi, kiatsu, teriyaki, hibachi in an authentic atmosphere. Sake. A real tatami room; outside seating. $$ L D Daily SUN-RAY CINEMA, 1028 Park St., 359-0049. F Beer (Bold City, Intuition Ale Works), wine, pizza, hot dogs, hummus, sandwiches, popcorn, nachos, brownies. $$ Daily SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside Ave., Ste. 204, 384-2888. F Sushi rolls: Monster, Jimmy Smith, Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite. Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. Patio. $$ L D Daily

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F BOJ. See Beaches. $ C L D Daily BACK 40 URBAN CAFÉ, 40 S. Dixie Hwy., 824-0227. F Caribbean-flavored wraps, upside-down chicken potpie, local seafood. Wi-Fi. $ C L Sun.; L D Mon.-Sat. CARMELO’S MARKETPLACE & PIZZERIA, 146 King St., 494-6658. F New York-style brick-oven-baked pizza, fresh sub rolls, Boar’s Head meats, cheeses, garlic herb wings. Outdoor seating, Wi-Fi. $$ L D Daily THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655. Updated Southern. Fresh, local ingredients from area farms. Glutenfree, vegetarian. Fried green tomato bruschetta, blackened fish, shrimp & grits. $$$ C L D Wed.-Mon. GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., Anastasia Island, 824-8244. F 25+ years; menu changes daily. Gypsy chicken, seafood, tofu, duck, veal. $$ R Sun.; L D Daily THE HYPPO, 15 Hypolita St., 217-7853 (popsicles only). 1765 Tree Blvd., Ste. 5, 342-7816. F Popsicles, coffee pourovers, cold-brew coffees. Handcrafted sandwiches. $ Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F See Beaches. Bite Club. BOJ. $ C L D Daily MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova St., 342-5264. F BOJ. See Beaches. $$ C B L D Daily THE ORIGINAL CAFÉ ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311. F Coffee drinks, vegetarian meals, Southern comfort dishes. $ B L D Daily PACIFIC ASIAN BISTRO, 159 Palencia Village Dr., 305-2515. F BOJ. Chef Mas creates 30+ unique sushi rolls; fresh sea scallops, Hawaiian-style poke tuna salad. $$ L D Daily

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER

BLACKFINN AMERICAN GRILLE, 4840 Big Island Dr., 345-3466. Classic American fare: beef, seafood, pasta, flatbreads. Indoors, patio. $$$ C R L D Daily BRIO TUSCAN GRILLE, 4910 Big Island Dr., 807-9960. Upscale Northern Italian. Wood-grilled, oven-roasted steaks, chops, seafood. Indoors or al fresco on the terrace. $$$ C R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily M SHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000. F BOJ. See Beaches. $$ L D Daily MY MOCHI FROZEN YOGURT, 4860 Big Island Dr., Ste. 2, 807-9292. Non-fat, low-calorie, cholesterol-free frozen yogurts. 40+ toppings. $ Daily OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr., 900-7730. BOJ. Tapas, small plates of Spanish, Italian flavors: ceviche fresco, pappardelle bolognese, lobster ravioli. 240-bottle wine list, 75 by the glass; craft spirits. $$ R, Sun.; D Nightly RENNA’S PIZZA, 4624 Town Crossing Dr., Ste. 125, 565-1299. F See Mandarin. $$ C L D Daily SEASONS OF JAPAN, 4413 Town Center Pkwy., 329-1067. Casual-style restaurant serves Japanese and hibachi-style fare, sushi, quick-as-a-wink. $$ C L D Daily TED’S MONTANA GRILL, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 9980010. Modern classic comfort food. Bison, signature steaks, gourmet burgers. Crab cakes, cedar-plank salmon, desserts, private label Bison Ridge wines. $$$ C L D Daily

BASIL THAI & SUSHI, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190. F Pad Thai, curries, sushi, served in a relaxing environment. Dine indoors or on the patio. $$ L D Mon.-Fri., D Sat. PIZZA PALACE 1959 San Marco Blvd., 399-8815. F Family-owned. Homestyle cuisine: spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones. Ravioli, lasagna, parmigiana. Outside dining. $$ C L D Daily THE GROTTO WINE & TAPAS BAR, 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726. Varied tapas menu of artisanal cheese plates, empanadas, bruschettas, homestyle cheesecake. 60+ wines by the glass. $$$ Tue.-Sun. LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1631 Hendricks Ave., 399-1768. F Tamales, fajitas, pork tacos. Some La Nops offer a full bar. $$ C L D Daily MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922. Matthew Medure’s flagship. Fine dining, European-style atmosphere. Artfully presented cuisine, small plates, e xtensive martini/ wine lists. Reservations. $$$$ D Mon.-Sat. PULP, 1962 San Marco Blvd., 396-9222. Juice bar has fresh juices, frozen yogurt, teas, coffees made one cup at a time. 30 smoothies, some blended with fl avored soy milks, organic frozen yogurts, granola. $ B L D Daily SAKE HOUSE #2 JAPANESE GRILL SUSHI BAR, 1478 Riverplace Blvd., 306-2188. F See Riverside. $$ L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE

360° GRILLE IN LATITUDE 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555. F Casual dining favorites: steaks, sandwiches, burgers, chicken, seafood and pizza. Dine inside or out on the patio. $$ L D Daily ALHAMBRA THEATRE & DINING, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212. Longest running dinner theater features Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s menus coordinated with stage productions. Reservations suggested. $$ D Tue.-Sun. BUCA DI BEPPO, 10334 Southside Blvd., 363-9090. Fresh Italian: lasagna, garlic mashed potatoes; 3 portion sizes (half-pound meatballs!); family-style. $$$ C L D Daily CASA MARIA, 14965 Old St. Augustine Rd., 619-8186. F See Springfield. $ C L D Daily FARAH’S PITA STOP CAFÉ, 3980 Southside Blvd., Ste. 201, 928-4322. Middle Eastern sandwiches, entrées, desserts, pastries, mazas (appetizers). $ C B L D Mon.-Sat. JJ’s BISTRO DE PARIS, 7643 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 105, 996-7557. Authentic French cuisine. Scratch kitchen: soups, stocks, sauces, pastries. $$ C L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F See Baymeadows. BOJ. $ C B L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 997-1955. F See Beaches. Bite Club. BOJ. $ C L D Daily OISHII, 4375 Southside Blvd., Ste. 4, 928-3223. Japanese fusion cuisine: fresh, high-grade sushi, lunch specials, hibachi. $$ C L D Daily SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY, 9735 Gate Pkwy. N., 997-1999. F Local seafood, steaks, pizzas, freshly brewed ales, lagers. Inside, outdoors. $$ L D Daily TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Court, 854-0426. Bite Club. BOJ. Greek spot. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, traditional wines, desserts. Belly dancing. $$ C L D Daily TOMMY’S BRICK OVEN PIZZA, 4160 Southside Blvd., Ste. 2, 565-1999. F New York-style thin crust, brick-ovencooked pizzas – gluten-free; calzones, sandwiches fresh to order, Thumann’s no-MSG meats, Grande cheeses. Boylan’s soda. Curbside pick-up. $$ L D Mon.-Sat.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

CASA MARIA, 12961 N. Main St., Ste. 104, 757-6411. F Family-owned-and-operated. Authentic Mexican: fajitas, seafood, hot sauces, tacos de asada. $ C L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner, 764-9999. F See Baymeadows. $ C B L D Daily RENNA’S PIZZA, 840 Nautica Dr., Ste. 117, 714-9210. F See Mandarin. $$ C L D Daily SAVANNAH BISTRO, 14670 Duval Rd., 741-4404. F Low Country Southern fare, twist of Mediterranean and French at Crowne Plaza Airport. Crab cakes, New York strip, she crab soup, mahi mahi. Rainforest Lounge. $$$ C B L D Daily STICKY FINGERS, 13150 City Station Dr., 309-7427. F See Baymeadows. $$ C L D Daily

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ASTROLOGY

Yo-Yo Ma, Prickly Tickles and Austin Powers ARIES (March 21-April 19): Are you between jobs? Between romantic partners? Between secure foundations, clear mandates and reasons to get up each day? Probably at least one of these. Foggy whirlwinds may be your intimate companions. Being upin-the-air may be your usual vantage point. While in this weird place, don’t make conclusions about its implications of your value as a human being. Remember the words of author Terry Braverman: “It is important to detach our sense of self-worth from transitional circumstances, and maintain perspective on who we are by enhancing our sense of ‘self-mirth.’” Whimsy and levity can be a salvation. Lucky flux should be your mantra. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Renowned cellist Yo-Yo Ma went to computer pioneer Steve Jobs’ home and played a private concert. Jobs was deeply touched, and told Ma, “Your playing is the best argument I’ve ever heard for the existence of God, because I don’t really believe a human alone can do this.” Judging from current astrological omens, you’ll soon have an equivalent phenomenon: a transcendent expression of love or beauty that moves you to suspect magic is afoot. Even if you’re an atheist, you’re likely to feel the primal shiver that comes from having a close brush with enchantment. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In my dream, I was leading a pep rally at a stadium full of Geminis. “Your intensity brings you great pleasure,” I told them over the P.A. system. “You seek the company of people who love you to be inspired. You must be appreciated for your enthusiasm, never shamed. Your drive for excellence doesn’t stress you, it relaxes you. I hereby give you license to laugh even louder, sing stronger and think smarter.” The crowd was cheering and I was bellowing. “It’s not cool to be cool,” I exulted. “It’s cool to be burning with a white-hot lust for life. You’re rising to the next octave. You’re playing harder than you ever have.” CANCER (June 21-July 22): “My old paintings no longer interest me,” said prolific artist Pablo Picasso at age 79. “I’m much more curious about those I haven’t done yet.” It might be controversial for you to adopt a similar view. After all, you’re renowned for being a connoisseur of old stories and past glories. One of your specialties is to keep memories alive and vibrant by feeding them with generous love. I don’t mean you should apologize for or repress those aptitudes. But for now – say, the next three weeks – turn your attention to exciting things you haven’t done. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Sleep with a special someone whose dreams you’d like to blend with yours. And when I say “sleep with,” I mean it literally; it’s not a euphemism for “having sex with.” Making love with the person is fine if that’s what you both want. But you will draw unexpected benefits by lying next to this companion as you both wander through dreamtime. Being in your altered states together will give inspiration you can’t get any other way. You won’t be sharing information on a conscious level, but that’s the purpose: to be transformed together by what’s flowing between your deeper minds. Collaborate on incubating a dream. Read this: tinyurl. com/dreamincubation. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “One chord is fine,” said rock musician Lou Reed about his no-frills approach to songwriting. “Two chords are pushing it. Three chords and you’re into jazz.” I recommend this view in the weeks ahead. Your detailoriented appreciation of life’s complexity is one of your finest qualities, but every once in awhile – like now – thrive by stripping down to the basics. This is especially true about your approach to intimate relationships.

For the time being, just assume cultivating simplicity PROMISE OF BENEFIT generates blessings you need most. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You Librans haven’t received enough gifts, goodies and compliments lately. For reasons I can’t discern, you’ve been deprived of your rightful share. It’s not fair! What can you do to rectify this imbalance in the cosmic ledger? How can you enhance your ability to attract treats you deserve? It’s important to solve this riddle, since you’re entering a phase when your wants and needs expand and deepen. I hereby authorize you to do whatever it takes to entice everyone you know into showering you with bounties, boons and bonuses. To jumpstart the process, shower yourself with bounties, boons and bonuses. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing,” wrote Roman philosopher Marcus Aurelius more than 1,800 years ago. Is that true for you? Do you experience more strenuous struggle and grunting exertion than frisky exuberance? Even if that’s usually the case, in the weeks ahead, your default mode should be more akin to dancing than wrestling. The cosmos has decided to grant you a grace period – on one condition: You must agree to experiment more freely and have more fun than you usually allow. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): For the itch you’re currently experiencing, neither chamomile nor aloe vera brings relief. Nor would over-the-counter potions like calamine lotion. Your itch isn’t caused by something as tangible as a rash or hives, and can’t be soothed by any obvious healing agent. It is, shall we say, more of a soul itch – a prickly tickle that’s hard to diagnose, let alone treat. There may be just one effective cure: Become as still, quiet and empty as you possibly can, and then invite your Future Self to scratch it for you.

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The world is awash in bright, shiny nonsense. Every day, we wade through a glare of misinformation, lazy delusions and irrelevant data. It can be hard to locate the few specific insights and ideas that are actually useful and stimulating. That’s the bad news. The good news? You now have an enhanced ability to ferret out nuggets of data to empower you. You’re a magnet for invigorating truths you need most. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): If you have devised some truly awesome, original invention, apply for a patent immediately. If you think of a bright idea, put it to work as soon as possible. If you figure out crucial clues everyone else seems blind to, dispel the general ignorance as quickly as you can. It’s a perfect moment to carry out radical pragmatism with expeditious savvy. It’s not time to naïvely hope for the best with dreamy nonchalance. For the sake of your mental health and the good of your extended family, be crisp, direct and forceful.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In the 1997 film Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery, the lead character announces that “ ‘Danger’ is my middle name.” Ever since, real people in the UK have been legally making “Danger” their middle name with surprising regularity. It would be smart fun for you to add an innovative element to your identity in the days ahead, maybe even a new middle name. Go with something different, though. A more suitable name might be “Changer,” to indicate you’re ready to eagerly embrace change. Or how about “Ranger,” to express a heightened desire to rove and gallivant? Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com MARCH 5-11, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35

BATHROOMS & SOUP? Me: Short, red-headed woman, black uniform. You: Gorgeous blue eyes, grey shirt, almost-shaved blond hair. First, you asked where the bathroom was; I clumsily answered. Then, we saw each other in the check-out lane. You and my mom talked about soup myths. I’d really like to get to know you. :) When: March 2. Where: Barnes & Noble, San Jose Blvd. #1339-0305 MOST BEAUTIFUL NURSE You: Most caring nurse I’ve ever seen. Short, brown-haired Latin goddess with glasses and always smiling. V., you are so good with the children you take care of. Would love to take you out some time. When: Feb. 7. Where: Wolfson ICU. #1338-0305 I SWEAR I’M NOT AN ALCOHOLIC! That’s the only line I could think of at the time to talk to you. We chatted and joked for a few, then I got dragged off by my friends and lost you. Me: Red hair, black mini, knee-high boots. You: Short brown hair, looking dapper. See you there again? When: Feb. 14. Where: Eclipse. #1337-0226 ASKED TO READ MY MIND For two years, I’ve thought about you every day and dreamed about you every night! You: Curious & Disturbed. Me: Glasses. When: Every day. Where: The neighborhood. #1336-0226 POWERHOUSE HOTTIE I remember how rough your hand felt on mine as we reached for the same 15-pound dumbbell. I recommended lifting gloves to help keep your hands soft. You liked my Magnum PI-style moustache. You said you may try to grow one. Let’s get together and watch “Silence of the Lambs.” When: Feb. 2. Where: Powerhouse Gym. #1335-0212

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YOU’VE GOT MAIL We were both at the library to check our emails. You must be “without home” like me. Your blonde unkempt hair was appealing. You caught my good eye when you walked in. I’d love to have a cup of recycled coffee with you some day. I’m available 24/7. When: Feb. 3. Where: Public Library. #1334-0212 SHARK TEETH & T&A You: At the end of the bar with your braid just lying on your chest. I bought you and your friends a shot but I really just wanted to buy you one. Round two? When: Feb. 5. Where: Flying Iguana. #1333-0212 FROZEN FOODS HOTTIE You: Green pants, white shirt, brown boots, beautiful black hair. Me: Tall, slim, blue shirt, curly Afro. I see you in the frozen foods section on your lunch hour sometimes. You look like you just know how to own life. Teach me how? When: Jan. 22. Where: Winn-Dixie, Edgewood & Commonwealth. #1332-0212 BEAUTIFUL LADY IN BROWN HAT ISU at Bonefi sh Grill having drinks with a girlfriend and we made eye-to-eye contact numerous times. You wore a large rimmed brown hat and a long plaid skirt. I had on a gold shirt with a green vest. Would love to have dinner together at Bonefish. Hope to hear from you. When: Jan. 28. Where: Bonefish Grill. #1331-0205 NEED A BRUSH Saw you at Bento. You were confidently comfortable in your underarmor and ruffled hair. You paid for my shrimp tempura. Meet me under the two paintings Feb. 14 at 11 p.m. When: Feb. 1. Where: Bento. #1330-0205

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WE LOCKED EYES You parked grey pickup by Walgreen’s. Walked by, looked; we locked eyes. I drove metallic SUV. We spoke, flirted, smiled. You left, I went behind Walgreens. You still there; locked eyes again. Still looking, you drove off. We honked horns. Me: Black female. You: White male. Let’s see where it goes. When: 3 p.m. Dec. 22. Where: Walgreen’s parking lot, Normandy. #1329-0129 ADVENTURE LANDING BASKETBALL DAD You: Handsome dad of teen shooting hoops near the snack area. Me: Mom of birthday boy. Lots of eye contact. Hoping for more! When: Jan. 17. Where: Adventure Landing/Blanding Blvd. #1328-0129 IN LINE AT WALGREENS You: Tall, handsome, beard, shopping with young daughter. Me: Blue-eyed brunette, ponytails, ballcap, black workout gear behind you in line. We made eye contact. Hope it was your daughter’s presence, not my lack of makeup, that kept you from saying, “Hi.” When: Jan. 18. Where: Walgreens @ C.R. 210 & C.R. 2209. #1327-0122 BRIGHT YELLOW HEELS You: Tall brunette at Target on San Jose/295 on 19 Jan.; short black dress, black tights. Your bright yellow heels caught my eye. You checked out faster than I did; I couldn’t catch up in the parking lot. Me: Tall, in a blue hat. We made eye contact right before you checked out. When: Jan. 19. Where: Target on San Jose/295. #1326-0122 RED DRESS BISTRO AIX Me: Awesome. You: Decent, in a red dress. Called you a name starting with “J.” You left. Let’s do it again. When: Jan. 11. Where: Bistro Aix. #1325-0115 DOES THE BODY GOOD You in your sexy black uniform. Me in my Green Bay shirt. I want to work you out sometime. Please? When: Jan. 5. Where: Lynch’s Irish Pub. #1324-0108 SEXY SHOES AT PUBLIX You: Super classy blonde waiting at pharmacy. Me: Tall guy feeling electricity between us! I had to wait and had a seat. You were leaving and walked my way smiled and said “good luck”. I said “nice shoes” and then enjoyed the view as you walked away. Let’s talk! When: Dec. 29, 2013. Where: Publix @ University Blvd. #1323-0108 YOU FOLLOWED ME OUTSIDE Me: Girl by myself. You: With friends dancing. You offered to buy me drink, I was drinking water, you followed me outside and asked for my #, I told you I was leaving for VA Monday. Should have given you my #, don’t want to start the New Year by being afraid. I’m in Daytona for a month. When: Dec. 27, 2013. Where: Ragtime. #1322-0108 WATCHING STEERS GAME Your legs blew me away from Jags during season’s last week. Me: black pullover, black pants, bald. You can get me in shape for any kind of marathon. SWM Southside, enjoy sports, cooking, walking the beach. Rest you legs on my lap anytime, as we sit by candlelight and watch NYE ball drop. Happy New Year! When: Dec. 29. Where: Mudville Grille @ St. Nicholas. #1321-0108 BLACK CROWES BEAUTY You: Brown-eyed, dark-haired American Indian-looking goddess. Me: Tall, dark, brooding musician. Talked after the show. You admired my Crowes tat, I admired your cheekbones. Best dancer there; kind conversationalist. Shared tequila after show. Heard you’re single. Let’s get together. When: Oct. 7. Where: St. Augustine. #1320-1218

NEWS OF THE WEIRD Teach a Man to Fish ... The Drug Users Resource Center in Vancouver, British Columbia (noted in NOTW for a vending machine dispensing 25-cent crack-cocaine pipes to discourage addicts from committing crimes to fund their habit), launched a program in August to supply alcoholics with beer-brewing and wine-making ingredients to discourage them from drinking rubbing alcohol, hand-sanitizer and mouthwash. The DURC “co-op” sells, for $10 monthly, brewing mix in a pre-hopped beer kit, but eventually, an official said, co-op members will brew from scratch, including boiling, mashing and milling. A civic leader told Canada’s National Post the program has already begun to reduce crime in areas frequented by alcoholics.

Government in Action

Rape-prevention activists estimate that local governments have backlogs of untested evidentiary “rape kits” that total up to 400,000 nationally — signifying free crimes for rapists, lost justice for victims, and ruined reputations for men wrongly arrested. (As TV police dramas emphasize, many rape victims are reluctant to submit to the indignity of swabbing and photographing so soon after being violated and comply only because detectives assure them of the rape kit’s importance.) Memphis has an inventory of 12,000, and Texas at least 16,000 — dating back to the 1980s. However, the cost of testing (about $500 each) is daunting for many city budgets, according to a February report by the Rape Kit Action Project in New York.

More Texas Justice

After 37 years in prison, Jerry Hartfield goes to court in April for a retrial of his 1977 conviction (and death sentence) for murder in Bay City, Texas. Actually, the 1977 conviction was overturned, but before Hartfield could demand his release (he is described in court documents as illiterate with an IQ of 51), the then-governor commuted the sentence to life in prison in 1983. It was only in 2006 that a fellow inmate persuaded Hartfield that the commutation was illusory — since there was, at that point, no “sentence” to commute. Hartfield’s lawyers call Texas’ treatment a blatant violation of his constitutional right to a “speedy” trial, but prosecutors suggest that it’s Hartfield’s own fault that he’s been in prison for 30 years.

Great Art!

Frances Wadsworth-Jones’ jewelry design show (“Heaven Sent”) at the Museum of London runs until April, with centerpiece brooches that resemble bird droppings. Why, she was asked, would a woman want to wear jewelry suggesting a pigeon soiled her lapel? “The stain is very intimate,” said the artist. It’s “something that you wouldn’t want, and you’re turning it into something beautiful.” Wadsworth-Jones’ pieces have sold for as much as $4,000.

Clumsy

The surveillance video of The Shambles bar in Chicago showed that an attempted break-in one night in January went awry when the unidentified perp removed the front entrance lock but gave up and fled seconds later when he couldn’t open the door — which he was shown furiously pulling on, oblivious that it was a “push” door. Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net

MARCH 5-11, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37

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1 Baryshnikov’s nickname 6 Type of pedal that Jimi Hendrix often used 10 118 Down’s shout 14 VW predecessors? 18 Leaf-munching tree climbers 19 Sometime soon 20 Seed covering 21 “Take ___ from me” 22 Film about a guy who was a firm believer in food storage? 24 Wordsworth’s flowers 26 Fanatical 27 Sergeant’s place 28 Bit of truth 29 Baryshnikov’s birthplace 30 AWOL swab’s quarters 31 Film based on one of Ivana’s books? 34 Poor sap 36 Bangladesh export 37 Con’s intro 38 Breeze (through) 40 “Under a ___” (Durante’s clue to where the money is buried in “It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World”) 42 PX patrons 43 Gossipy sort 45 Way of the East 46 With 59 Across, film about a dweeb whose room is on the second floor? 50 Mocking tone 52 Songwriter Jacques 53 Serious lapses 54 Propulsion prop 56 Chem., for one 57 Erected 59 See 46 Across 65 Latin abbr. used in math proofs 66 Hotfoot reaction 68 Plaza Mexico sound 69 Hoe’s home 70 Info your ride may need 72 Film about what to do if there’s an X-file emergency? 76 Foil cousins 78 Good name, briefly

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79 Many an ascot wearer 80 Meadow mamas 82 Going through the oceans? 83 Bit of wit 87 Film starring Liz and Dick that rubs people the wrong way? 91 Fed head’s first name 92 Some dreamers do it 94 Not maj. 95 Fries or slaw, e.g. 96 La ___ Tar Pits 98 Actress Arden 99 Selfies and such, briefly 100 Word with Marine or Peace 103 Film about what it’s like between Gabon and Uganda? 109 Whitman sampler? 111 Instinctive desire 112 Honoring works 113 Made to be swallowed 114 Dior dress 115 Covered one’s costs 117 Martial arts film that involves audience participation? 119 Bank take-back 120 Dick Francis mystery, “Dead ___” 121 Port that’s on its own lake 122 Meat dish 123 Frankfurt’s river 124 Approximately 125 River to the North Sea 126 Hymn of praise

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1 They really bite 2 Of a metrical foot 3 Yuletide ringer 4 Challenging 5 Animal in Egyptian art 6 Decreased 7 Restless 8 Persevere on a job 9 “___ news?” 10 1978 Nobel Prize sharer 11 Mythical weaver 12 Daily crosswords, to pros (so-called from the number of squares per side) 13 Cookie company character 5

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67 Form, as a jury 71 “___ reminder ...” 73 Evita’s land: abbr. 74 By ___ (from memory) 75 Admissions honcho 77 Floppy disk? 81 Like Hunan food 83 Tidal movement 84 Like some trial testimony 85 1964 Miles Davis album recorded across the pond 86 “Make room!” 88 Give off 89 Short work day 90 Hubbub 93 Paper buyers, e.g. 97 Cambodia’s ___ Wat 99 Kin of “thx” 101 Itinerary start 102 Forward 104 “Holy moly” 105 Slowly, on a score 106 “Rubber Duckie” Muppet 107 Aspect of “Final Jeopardy” 108 TV alien 110 Like a bully 114 Blue shade 115 “My man” 116 Prefix with sphere 117 Teacher’s answer sheet 118 Diamond figure, briefly

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BACKPAGE EDITORIAL

One Man, One Vote. But Not Really

How Jacksonville’s election system suppresses the black vote

“O

ne man, one vote” is the measure of electoral equality in the United States. Regardless of how you parse it, vote dilution occurs when there is at-large representation such as we have in Jacksonville. Elimination of the City Council’s at-large seats brings the city to a “level playing field” in electoral terms. The Task Force on Consolidated Government, charged with examining the charter and suggesting improvements, is about to wrap up its public activities without taking serious note of the obvious and longstanding existence of vote dilution that occurs as a consequence of at-large representation. If nothing is done at this time, it will likely be another decade before the subject is addressed again. All at-large systems of representation violate the “one man, one vote” standard for equal representation. The most obvious example of how this works in Jacksonville is At-large District 5, where a white Republican was elected countywide to “represent” an atlarge district that is less than 20 percent white and 10 percent Republican. This occurred because votes from outside the district diluted the expressed wishes of district voters. Atlarge elections don’t always result in such egregious consequences; but, in tandem with off-year elections that typically feature smaller voter turnouts, at-large elections consistently favor blocs of older, white, better-off and better-educated voters. The consolidation charter that was agreed to by community consensus in 1967 called for 21 district representatives. The overwhelmingly white legislative delegation altered that to the present 14 district and five at-large seats when it presented a consolidation bill in Tallahassee. Regardless of the intentions of the white delegation majority, the effect was to dilute the vote of African-Americans and voters of modest means. Moreover, 21 single-member

districts would have resulted in smaller districts, which presumably would make access to elected officials easier for citizens. Subsequently, only one African-American, the late Earl Johnson, a powerful black voice and a Democrat in favor of consolidation, was elected to an at-large seat (twice) until the voters insisted that a residency requirement be added because of a concern that at-large seats were being monopolized by white elites. This electoral alteration did not change the at-large voting system, which continues to dilute the vote of African-Americans and all voters of

episodes encapsulate this process: the loss of home rule (1888-1892) that occurred in response to a black majority controlling the ballot box in 1888; the 1906 gerrymandering of Jacksonville voting precincts, which eliminated the last majority-black precinct and any hope of African-Americans holding a seat on the City Council until the 1960s; and the passage by the Florida Legislature of a whiteprimary law that banned African-Americans from voting in the Democratic Party primaries until the 1940s. What occurred in Tallahassee in 1967 was

The existing at-large seats are vestiges of a century and more of white suppression of votes by African-Americans and people of modest means. modest means. Since then, three AfricanAmericans have been elected to at-large seats. Two ran as Republicans, Gwen ChandlerThompson and Glorious Johnson, and one as a Democrat, Kimberly Daniels. In other words, 11 percent of at-large seats since consolidation have been held by AfricanAmericans — two Republicans and two Democrats — although African-Americans constitute some 30 percent of Duval County’s population and are overwhelmingly registered as Democrats. This is the consequence of vote dilution through at-large elections (as well as off-year elections that reduce voter turnout). Robert Cassanello’s 2013 book, To Render Invisible: Jim Crow and Public Life in New South Jacksonville, covers race relations from Reconstruction until 1920, including voting issues. In this period, African-Americans exercised the franchise and held public positions, but gradually were eliminated from meaningful participation by white elites. Three

a continuation of efforts by native white elites to minimize the votes of African-Americans and those of modest means, such as me. Elimination of the at-large seats produces a level playing field in local elections by ending vote dilution. Having 19 representatives from 19 single-member districts lowers the ratio of voters to representative, which makes the local government more accountable to their district electorates. Jacksonville needs a robust economy and racial comity, and the two are connected at many points. The existing at-large seats are vestiges of a century and more of white suppression of votes by African-Americans and people of modest means. Let’s have a level playing field in politics, and then we will be freer to work on the economy. Michael Hoffman mail@folioweekly.com

The author is a historian who grew up in Jacksonville and now lives in Atlantic Beach.

Folio Weekly welcomes Backpage Editorial submissions. Essays should be no more than 1,200 words and on a topic of local interest or concern. Email your Backpage to mail@folioweekly.com. Opinions expressed on the Backpage are those of the author and do not necessarily refl ect those of the editors or management of Folio Weekly.

MARCH 5-11, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39