The Byrds

2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 12-18, 2018

THIS WEEK //12.12.18-12.18.18 // VOL. 32 ISSUE 37 MUSIC FEATURE

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COUNTRY ROCK

Roger McGuinn and Chris Hillman celebrate the golden anniversary of The Byrds’ Sweetheart of the Rodeo STORY BY JASON MELLARD COVER ILLUSTRATION BY GINA WILLS

COLUMNS + CALENDARS FROM THE EDITOR

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MUSIC

16

WEED

35

MAIL/B&B

5

SPORTS PICKS

18

I SAW U

36

OUR PICKS

6

CONCERTS

25

FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

37

POLITICS

8

FOOD

27

CLASSIFIEDS

38

NEWS BITES

9

COOKING

28

BACKPAGE

39

FEATURE

10

BEER

30

ARTS

12

PETS

32

FILM

13

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

33

ARTS + EVENTS

14

CROSSWORD

34

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45 West Bay Street Suite 103 Jacksonville, Florida 32202 PHONE 904.260.9770 FAX 904.260.9773 DECEMBER 12-18, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 3

FROM THE EDITOR

ON IRONY

THIS WEEK WE TOAST THE Byrds, whose 12-string guitarist Roger McGuinn and bassist Chris Hillman are passing through Ponte Vedra on tour to mark the 50th anniversary of their Sweetheart of the Rodeo album. Although the seminal California rock collective is probably best known for their debut single—a jangly, charttopping reading of Bob Dylan’s “Mr. Tambourine Man” that dropped in 1965 and paved the way for the Summer of Love—their 1968 album saw them in Nashville with new recruit Gram Parsons, laying the foundations of a new genre: country rock.

Read on and, in this very issue, Texas State University cultural historian Jason Mellard will tell you all about it. He’s something of an expert on the genre. His excellent 2017 book Progressive Country explores the intersection of country and rock in Austin during the 1970s. There was a (brief) moment, he argues in the book, when the country music tradition became contested territory.

Appropriated by thoughtful dissidents like Willie Nelson and Jerry Jeff Walker, country’s ethos of rugged individualism proved compatible with the iconoclastic—sometimes even utopian—values of rock and roll. That moment, however, didn’t last long. Country rock would keep the sneer and swagger, but discard the optimism.

If we zoom out of Texas, we might say that noble experiment ended when country rock stopped looking to California and started looking to Georgia and Alabama. That’s when the open horizon of the country-andwestern frontier gave way to the resentful nostalgia of Southern rock. The former was problematic enough, to be sure, but the latter got downright ugly. (See Hank Williams Jr.) But what does any of this have to do with irony and hipsters? Well. When the primordial hipsters of the Beat Generation turned their backs on middle-class life and experimented

with jazz and folk subcultures, they established irony as a viable existential gesture.

It meant something. There were, of course, a whole lotta other politics that went into the sausage. But the defiant bucking of lifestyle expectations and the embrace of marginalized forms was at least an attempt to reconcile the 20th-century’s many contradictions.

The Byrds and their countercultural boon companions continued those experiments. McGuinn and co. respected roots music and took its progressive potential seriously. The hipster dream became the hippie dream. And, though that dream famously died at Altamont, generations of young people would carry the torch to the present day.

Eventually, however, it became more about style than substance. Fast-forward to 2018. Today’s hipster is a universally reviled creature, despised—even by fellow hipsters— for chasing lifestyle trends just for the sake of it.

And the lifestyle trend of the moment is “Americana.” From cute, vaguely rootsy acoustic music to huge, lumberjack beards, the hills have definitively colonized our cities. It’s hard not to hear in this an echo of the cosmopolitan hippies’ turn to country in the late ’60s. (Literally. There’s a fair amount of Gram Parsons worship, although the windswept AOR of Stevie Nicks seems to be the model par excellence.)

At best, it’s an empty irony. At worst, it provides fashionable cover for some highly unsavory ideas. Just as hippie country rock devolved into a worst-of-both-worlds hybrid with the likes of Hank Jr., hipster Americana has given us Vice Magazine and Proud Boys honcho Gavin McInnes, a smug (and successful) hate-peddler decked out in a sharp suit and ridiculous waxed beard.

Georgio Valentino georgio@folioweekly.com @thatgeorgioguy

The rise and fall of the HIPSTER

4 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 12-18, 2018

THE MAIL FAIR AND BALANCED

RE.: “Dollars at Work,” by Georgio Valentino, Nov. 28 and “Best Philanthropist?” by Chris Guerrieri, Nov. 28 HEY FOLIO, YOU ARE WHAT GIVES MEDIA A BAD RAP. This issue praises Ms. Weaver in one story and allows a rant against her on Backpage. She, nor Wayne, has never asked for recognition: your paper named her to that honor ... Philanthropist of the Year. #Rag Steven Tatsak via Twitter

THANK YOU

RE.: “No Shame in Seeking Help,” by Kevin Meerschaert, Dec. 5 THANK YOU, THANK YOU, KEVIN, FOR TOUCHING ME with your voice and actions once again. I have for years felt comfort in the familiarity of your presence on WJCT-FM. My story is similar. What a blessing that you are still here to share your many talents going forward.

As a “friend” I encourage you not to regret the past.

Instead, accept the gifts of its interesting lessons and newly found opportunities to make a meaningful difference in not only your life, but the lives of many, many others. Know that you are loved.

In solidarity, Leona Byrne via email THANK YOU FOR A SIMPLE STORY ABOUT SOMEONE accessing recovery through friends and the great folks at Gateway. I’m at Gateway’s Alumni House and see this happen so often–quiet, personal miracles.

Terrance Brennan via email

COMMUNITY SUPPORT

RE.: “Snazzy, Jazzy Benefactor,” by Brendan Rivers, Dec. 5 EXCELLENT ARTICLE ABOUT THE NICEST MAN! THIS organization [Don’t Miss a Beat] is huge in its impact and needs all the support and encouragement Jax can give it. Proud that CCGJ [Cultural Council of Greater Jacksonville] supports DMAB through the CSG [Cultural Service Grant] program.

Claudia Baker via Facebook

DOWNTOWN DEVELOPMENT

THE REVITALIZATION OF DOWNTOWN MUST ENTAIL more than apartments and a convention center.

Jacksonville, take a look at your city. What do you see? What do you want to see? We have all the chances of making this a wonderful place for the community as a whole if we try. But we must work on a few issues that plague us.

Having a bustling downtown filled with nightlife and business is a good idea. Housing to have people in the immediate area is a must. But what about those who need help in the area?

Yes I am talking about the homeless and mentally ill who roam our streets on a daily basis. Are we to ignore them? Give them tickets like you do for being in the state they are in, costing taxpayers money thru the cost systems the way you do? Or do we finally take action and help those who can get better and become productive members of society?

We need a more positive plan for dealing with this issue. No, they won’t go away because the epicenter of what they do is downtown. The library and Main Street Park provide what they need in terms of restrooms, food, clothing and shelter from bad weather. Also what kind people give them. So why would they leave the urban area?

We have a million empty buildings. Maybe one could be used for housing. Most homeless people don’t go to the shelters for various reasons like filth, overcrowding and lack of freedom. Trust me. I know first-hand.

Basically you’re asking an unstructured person to abide by rules. It just won’t happen in most cases.

If you want change in any arena, you have to make your voice heard. Go to your community leaders and local government, discuss the problem and come together for a solution. Stop ignoring those “below” your station. Help them become better.

We as a whole must do what’s right by all, of course, not just the homeless or mentally ill. Our communities are also plagued by crime, insufficient housing, polluted water and land. If you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything. Jacksonville, are you ready to provide solutions for everyone, or just those who can afford what you are now trying to develop?

The choice is yours, and a city with growth potential depends on it.

Juan Montgomery via email

OVERSET

LEND YOUR VOICE If you’d like to respond to something you read in the pages of Folio Weekly, please send an email (with your name, address, and phone number for verification purposes only) to mail@folioweekly.com, visit us at folioweekly.com or follow us on Twitter or Facebook (@folioweekly) and join the conversation.

BRICKBATS + BOUQUETS BRICKBATS TO GREGORY AHEARN The University of North Florida biology professor retired on Nov. 26, in the wake of an internal investigation of sexual harassment claims made by his students. The Nov. 19 report concluded that, while Ahearn’s “unwelcome conduct of a sexual nature” was “crass, demeaning, and inappropriate [it] did not [...] constitute sexual harassment under the University’s Sexual Misconduct Regulation.”

BOUQUETS TO JOHN RUTHERFORD Last week, the Republican U.S. Representative for Florida’s 4th District co-signed a letter to U.S. Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke and Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross condemning the authorization of seismic airgun blasting in the Atlantic Ocean, a prelude to offshore oil drilling. It’s a rare and refreshing ray of daylight from an otherwise paint-by-numbers, big-money Republican.

BRICKBATS TO RON DESANTIS Florida’s governor-elect recently announced the 41 members of his education transition team, or Transition Advisory Committee on Education and Workforce Development. The body is predictably heavy on special-interest lobbyists (and beneficiaries) and light on traditional public school educators, administrators and union representatives.

DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A BRICKBAT? Send submissions to mail@folioweekly.com; 50 word maximum, concerning a person, place, or topic of local interest.

DECEMBER 12-18, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5

PAINTING A BETTER WORLD COLOR ME KONA

The second annual all-day event, billed as “The World’s Largest Coloring Book Party,” wants everyone to get in on the fun. There are interactive murals, art installations, live music, poetry readings and skateboarding. The proceeds from this donation-based fundraiser benefit the Kid’s Mural Project in its efforts to bring arts opportunities to Title 1 schools. 10 a.m. Saturday, Dec. 15, Kona Skate Park, Arlington, colormekona.com.

SAT

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OUR PICKS SEASONAL TWANG

CHRIS ISAAK The California crooner defied the electronic

1980s with a retro sound directly descended from Elvis Presley and Roy Orbison. In the process, he inspired musicians and filmmakers alike, eventually becoming a staple in auteur director David Lynch’s cinematic world. Now the singer of “Wicked Game” goes Christmas with a holiday tour. Don’t worry, though. He still plays the hip-swayin’ hits. 7:30 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 16, The Florida Theatre, Downtown, floridatheatre.com, $45-$67.50.

HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN H.R. FROM BAD BRAINS

WED

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SUN

Paul “H.R.” Hudson rose to cult fame as singer in seminal D.C. punk group Bad Brains before branching out and embracing sounds of all sorts, including reggae. He’s currently headlining a Florida tour, performing material from his solo project Human Rights. Jax Beach reggae-rock outfit Danka opens the show. 7 p.m. Wednesday, Dec. 19, Surfer the Bar, Jax Beach, surferthebar.com, $20-$25.

WED

16

19 HOLIDAYS HOGTOWN STYLE

GAINESVILLE ORCHESTRA Now in its 40th season, St. Augustine’s

EMMA Concert Association observes the holidays with its Traditional Holiday Pops Concert and Sing-Along. The program, which features Metropolitan Opera finalist Emily Misch, is performed by the Gainesville Orchestra, under the direction of Maestro Evans Haile. You’ll hear selections from whimsical classics like Mozart’s “Der Hölle Rache” from The Magic Flute, and Engelbert Humperdinck’s “Overture to Hansel and Gretel.” (FYI: the first Humperdinck, not that Vegas crooner.) 7:30 p.m. Wednesday Dec. 19, Flagler College’s Lewis Auditorium, St. Augustine, emmaconcerts.com, $40; $5.

FRI

14

PRANCE & DANCE

FIRST COAST NUTCRACKER

Sure, there are lots of productions of this holiday fave, but Jacksonville Symphony’s take on Pytor Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s timeless ballet has been a NEFla tradition for more than 40 years. And this is the only Nutcracker in the area to feature full, live orchestration. 8 p.m. Dec. 14 & 15; 2 p.m. Dec. 15 & 16, Times-Union Center, Downtown, jaxsymphony.org, $21-$60.

6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 12-18, 2018

THIS WEEK’S BIGGEST & BEST HAPPENINGS

DECEMBER 12-18, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7

FOLIO VOICES : POLITICS

THANK YOU NOTE Why, yes, UAE! We’ll take that BLOOD MONEY!

8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 12-18, 2018

AS HAS BEEN DOCUMENTED IN THIS COLUMN OVER the last couple of years, Jacksonville City Councilwoman Anna Brosche and Mayor Lenny Curry don’t get along.

The two Republican CPAs, both elected to their first terms in 2015, never quite gelled.

And daylight emerged from the moment that Brosche defeated John Crescimbeni, the Democrat who was favored by Curry in the 2017 race for the council presidency.

Brosche was cool on pension reform and the Kids Hope Alliance proposal—two Curry priorities. But in the wake of Charlottesville, she called for Confederate monuments to be inventoried and then brought down.

Curry was not willing to take that position.

He and his political operation know that wouldn’t play well with the base. Despite quietly pedaling back, Brosche got little credit for taking a leadership role … and less for abandoning it.

Brosche’s council presidency ended in June, as did her influence on the council itself, a body that clearly has gotten sick of her. The latest example (at least before the publication deadline): last Tuesday’s Rules Committee.

That’s when Brosche filed a bill that would have called for the city to return a $2.775 million gift given by a criminal enterprise with a flag: the United Arab Emirates.

We’ve covered the UAE money before, of course. Some cynics call it “blood money.” But what does it matter?

In October, when asked about that country’s human rights record, Mayor Curry punted. It’s a great look if you are a nativeborn male citizen, but less so if you are a female, a dissident, a journalist, a thought criminal, an expat or someone on Yemeni soil, where the UAE tortures locals as part of our endless proxy war against Iran.

People of a certain age will remember the neoliberal justification for American hegemony: we are, the story went, the Indispensable Nation, a beacon of democracy and justice in a world inclined toward tyranny without our benign guidance.

That got us through 9/11 and maybe a bit longer (even the dovish Democrats in 2004 and 2008 called the Afghanistan sh*tshow “the good war”). But the enduring truth from that era was Vice President Dick Cheney, weeks after 9/11, predicting that this would be a decades-long struggle in the shadows.

The lines between good and evil have been blurred, we can agree. We are lined up with Saudi Arabia and the UAE against Iran, and we have geopolitical reasons for doing so. Beyond the transactional relationships,

though, it’s clear that we are backing one set of barbaric values over another.

And judging from the curb-stomping the Council Rules Committee gave Brosche’s bill, moral strictures about good and evil are as disposable as styrofoam.

Here’s Bill Gulliford: “I’ve seen a number of ridiculous bills come through. This is right at the top … All the billions of dollars we’ve given to countries over the years. Isn’t it nice to get some back?”

Well, sure, it’s always nice to have extra money. But endorsing those checks means that you basically agree with how that country does business. And, as Americans, we know that the number of drone strikes we drop on a daily basis dwarfs our reasons to live by an order of magnitude.

Here’s Tommy Hazouri, pretending not to know better in order to again shiv a council enemy: “Many of these countries we give money to are worse on human rights than the UAE. This is not Saudi Arabia. This is the United Arab Emirates.”

No substantiation was needed for that innuendo—or for anything else discussed in this committee.

John Crescimbeni, who may or may not be running for tax collector as his council tenure nears its term-limit terminus, proposed an elegant solution: to substitute and re-refer the bill, to offer the UAE a gesture of appreciation.

Uncertain at the time of this writing: will there be a formal proclamation?

The UAE already got one press event out of this, with dignitaries feted by Mayor Curry at a local school. Would they send the ambassador back to a plaque? Depends on what’s in the green room that night.

One of the recurring miscalculations made by commentators in our era is to assume that people actually care what’s being done in their names. The bigger the unit of government, the more divorced we are from its actions. We are subjects, satellites and nothing more.

We don’t care about some funky little proxy war in Yemen that cynics describe as genocidal. We didn’t care about Iraqi sanctions killing a few hundred thousand kids.

And whatever happened in Libya and Syria was cool, at least as long as we don’t have to take in refugees from the war zone.

Another hurricane will come, soon enough. What despotic mess from overseas will cut the next check? Sooner or later, we will find out.

A.G. Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com @aggancarski

NEWS BITES TOP HEADLINES FROM NE FLORIDA NEWSMEDIA

FIRST COAST NEWS DIRTY DANCING

On Dec. 7, First Coast News’ Anne Schindler reported on a criminal complaint that “paints a portrait of a dirty DEA agent who traded inside information for bribes, and helped facilitate massive drug shipments to the streets of Jacksonville.”

“According to the complaint,” Schindler wrote, “former Jacksonville-based Special Agent Nathan Koen used his position to assist large-scale drug transactions, warning dealers of pending investigations and otherwise enabling shipments of heroin, cocaine and methamphetamine worth hundreds of thousands of dollars.”

The 42-year-old suspect served as a special agent in Jacksonville for 12 years before being promoted to group supervisor and reassigned to Little Rock in September 2016. He remained in contact with Jacksonville-based heroin dealer Francisco Benitez, who turned informant and “told investigators he would pay Koen for ‘top cover protection,’ which included running the names of Benitez’s drug associates through DEA databases to determine whether they were ‘safe’ for him to do business with.”

Koen was arrested Dec. 3, after accepting a $9,000 cash bribe from Benitez in a Las Vegas casino restroom. The complaint documents tens of thousands more in criminal payments solicited and received.

“Koen is currently in federal custody, accused of bribery and drug distribution conspiracy,” Schindler continued. “He has not yet entered a plea in the case.”

FERNANDINA OBSERVER PROTECT AND CONSERVE

With the explosion of development in Nassau County, it’s no surprise that citizens of Fernandina Beach are expressing concerns—and their city government is listening. In a Dec. 6 story, the Fernandina Observer’s Suanne Z. Thamm covered a Fernandina Beach City Commission decision to pursue the purchase of land for conservation purposes.

The Dec. 4 vote was initiated by Commissioner Chip Ross, who moved to “expand the agenda to include discussion and action on a resolution that would allow the city to engage the services of the North Florida Land Trust (NFLT) to negotiate for the purchase of approximately 7.5 acres of vacant land located on North 11th and 12th Streets.”

On Dec. 1, a constituent notified Ross that the lot, owned by the Episcopal Church, had been listed for sale. The commissioner duly investigated and discovered there was already developer interest. As a result, he asked the FBCC to fast-track consideration for acquisition.

“I do not want to see it purchased by a developer and put into housing,” Ross is quoted as saying. “If we follow the usual procedure [in adding the item to a commission meeting agenda], we will not be able to consider it until our Jan. 4 meeting. I fear that by then the land may be under contract with another purchaser. I would urge my fellow commissioners not to squander this opportunity. We are all committed, I think, to preserving our island and I think this is an opportunity where we can make a difference.”

Not everyone agreed but, ultimately, they got behind the proposal.

“Following 45 minutes of often rancorous debate,” Thamm wrote, “commissioners not only agreed unanimously to add the item to the agenda, but also went on to pass the resolution on a 5-0 vote. The resolution authorized the NFLT to acquire appraisals and conduct other due diligence in determining the suitability for purchase of the land for conservation and/or passive parkland. However, any contracts for purchase of the property, currently owned by the Episcopal Church, must ultimately be approved by the FBCC.”

THE ST. AUGUSTINE RECORD AUDIT FOR HIRE

Last month, the finance director of the St. Johns County Sheriff ’s Office was arrested and charged with fraud and theft. Now, according to Jared Keever of The St. Augustine Record, Sheriff David Shoar is resisting a state audit into how Raye Brutnell was able to embezzle some $700,000 from Shoar’s office over a five-year period.

Keever’s Dec. 9 story leads with the news that the sheriff “says he has hired an independent auditing firm to conduct a forensic audit of his agency’s books.”

It’s only later in the article that we learn this is a mere stunt, a show of action to forestall calls for the kind of robust state audit advocated by incoming county commissioner Jeremiah Blocker.

Shoar reportedly emphasized that “it was important to note the swiftness with which action was taken and that it was two [of his] employees who eventually raised the concerns that led to the investigation. He also dismissed any suggestion that the state Auditor General’s Office would need to come in and conduct its own forensic audit as political posturing, particularly given his having already called in an independent firm and outside investigators to look into the problem.”

“This is not the time to make political hay,” Shoar is quoted as saying, before proceeding to make the politically charged statement: “I’m going to rely on the private sector over the public sector.”

Georgio Valentino mail@folioweekly.com DECEMBER 12-18, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9

CULT HOLIDAZE

A look at alternative CHRISTMAS CINEMA

W

hether or not you celebrate the holiday, Christmas films are ubiquitous in December.

Almost every channel, and even many of the most popular streaming services, focuses on wintery tales that are supposed to imbue you with the mood of the season. By design, these films are about learning lessons and reaffirming your faith in humanity. Scrooge relinquishes his greed. George Bailey resolves to live. Mr. Shirley gives Clark Griswold his Christmas bonus (with a 20 percent salary increase, no less).

Let the backlash begin! Even as Christmas films multiply, more and more movie-lovers are turning to genre films to get their holiday kicks with a little less moralizing. Now, with an impish twinkle in their eye, folks refer to movies such as Die Hard or Lethal Weapon as their favorite Christmas movies. But are they really Christmas movies?

Let’s assume that the Christmas movie is a genre unto itself. Where do we draw that genre’s boundaries? In Die Hard, for example, Christmas is hardly important to the plot. The entire movie could play out much the same way another time of year.

Sure, you would need a small number of people sequestered in an otherwise empty skyscraper, but that doesn’t automatically mean holiday party. It could be a retirement party in the middle of July. Of you could simply move the action from downtown LA to downtown Jacksonville on any given business day.

Lethal Weapon screenwriter Shane Black loves to connect his movies to the holidays. But, again, nothing would change fundamentally if you exchanged the Christmas dinner scene with just about any conceivable family dinner to which Mel Gibson’s Riggs could be invited. While this probably excludes Hanukkah, the rest of the year is fair game.

So the question remains: do the mere trappings of the holiday make a film “Christmas” or is there something else, some je ne sais quoi that needs to be present to truly make a movie one with the spirit of the season?

As we’ve seen, action movies are imperfect vehicles. It’s a genre that doesn’t get associated with holidays very often, hence the ironic— and frankly superficial—Christmas affectation glossed on Die Hard and Lethal Weapon.

There is another genre, however, that has long mined the season for celluloid. And that genre is horror.

At first glance, horror seems a poor fit with the holidays. Christmas is about family and cheer, kindness and forgiveness. Horror is a genre designed to stir up unrest through the presentation of a visceral, primal id. But the roots of horror are intertwined with loads of classic Christmas stories and movies.

Two of the most “classic” examples of Christmas movies are ghost stories. A

story by RYAN RENO 10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 12-18, 2018

Christmas Carol (and all its variations) and It’s a Wonderful Life are both essentially the tales of phantoms. Scrooge moves with the ghosts of past, present and future while George Bailey’s guardian angel Clarence also hails from the spectral world.

So if the vein of horror already runs through many Christmas movies, it’s easy to think that there have been plenty of horror movies that are able to cover everything we expect from a proper horror film in addition to all the bells, whistles and ornaments unique to a Christmas film, right? Not quite.

Gremlins aside, when you start looking for Christmas-themed horror movies, you will quickly be awash in a sea of cheap, gimmicky slashers. From Black Christmas and Silent Night, Deadly Night to Santa Claws and Jack Frost, these movies revel in their ability to combine the gentile gentility of Christmas with the gore, blood and viscera usually expect from a popcorn shocker.

Yes, they star killer snowmen and murderous Santas, but do any of these films have that same twinkle in their eye that proper Christmas films tend to have? If we assume Christmas to be a genre unto itself, and if we drew a Venn diagram illustrating the overlap between Christmas and horror, how many of these films would land squarely in the center? Not many. These slashers are simply slashers.

There is an exception to the deluge of Christmas slashers, a movie that does seem to sit nicely in the middle of both genres: Lewis Jackson’s little-seen 1980 cult film Christmas Evil. The name, marketing and even the plot synopsis might lead you to believe it’s more Christmas wallpaper sprucing up a slasher that couldn’t sell in the summer. Sit down and watch the movie, and you’ll see something else entirely.

The mood of a Christmas film plays a very important role in defining it as a “Christmas film.” Much of Christmas Evil is presented in those familiar beats. The main difference between this film and more uplifting fare is that the turning point we have all come to expect never arrives. The movie is told from the point of view of a Bob Cratchit, but his Scrooge does not have a change of heart.

Traumatized as a young boy, Harry Stadling (Brandon Maggart) is an outsider who has become the whipping post for much of the people in his life, including his bosses at the Jolly Dreams toy factory. Harry’s mental instability, combined with the cruelty he faces, leads to an obsession with Christmas— particularly Santa’s naughty-or-nice list.

Much of the movie plays out like a drama.

Harry wants to see the good in people, but sees too many privileged people abusing their positions of power. Harry begins to disassociate more and more. He eventually steals from the toy factory and distributes the loot to kids at the hospital.

In most Christmas movies, this would be the turning point. In donning a Santa costume and delivering toys to children in need, Harry would find his redemption. Christmas Evil takes a different turn. Instead, Harry loses himself more and more in the role of Santa.

Finally, he delivers his own version of coal to those he deems naughty.

Even as the slasher elements crash the party, during the last third of the film, the director always makes sure Christmas Evil feels first and foremost like a Christmas movie. In the same way that A Miracle on 34th Street is as much a courtroom drama as it is a Christmas film, Christmas Evil is—finally—as much a Christmas film as it is a slasher flick.

It takes the stock protagonist of a typical Christmas story and deprives him of the divine intervention needed to better himself and his lot of life.

So, this holiday season, before you reach for the new canon of Christmas films, I recommend you search for Christmas Evil, where horror and holidays are truly able to meet. Vinegar Syndrome released a thoughtful Blu-ray/DVD set in 2014.

Ryan Reno mail@folioweekly.com DECEMBER 12-18, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11

FOLIO A + E

JANE

SAYZ G

rowing up in an Irish Catholic family in Dolton, Illinois, a tiny Chicago suburb, Jane Lynch enjoyed Christmases that were

always a big deal.

“My dad would read ‘The Night Before Christmas’,” the award-winning actor tells Folio Weekly in a phone interview, “and then he would pretend to throw ‘sleep dust’ at us, and we would pretend to go to sleep. We didn’t have a chimney. When you’re a kid, you don’t ask questions.”

Now, years later, she sits in repose at home in Los Angeles, surrounded

Showbiz icon JANE LYNCH is puttin’ (CHRISTMAS) on the Ritz by three of her four dogs (Millie, Rumi and Bernice; Arbuckle is in the hospital) as she plots out the set-list for a Christmas extravaganza that’s making its way to Jacksonville’s Ritz Theatre this week.

A Swingin’ Little Christmas is built around an album of the same name that Lynch released on Kitsch Tone Records in November 2016. For the live performance, the actor-turned-singer is joined on stage by Tim Davis and Kate Flannery. Davis was the vocal arranger for Lynch’s launch-pad television series Glee; Flannery is best known as the splenetic, often tipsy Meredith on The Office.

The set comprises 10 standards and four originals, written by trumpeter and bandleader Tony Guerrero. The jazz quintet that accompanies the

trio live is the same band performing on the album. The group also includes Robert Kyle on tenor saxophone, Dave Siebels on piano and Hammond B3 organ, David Miller on bass and Matt Johnson on drums.

“Musically, I’m really proud of it,” Lynch says. “It’s a really fun show!”

This is the third year she’s toured with the material, but it’s her first time in Jacksonville.

“We started out in San Francisco, three years ago,” she says, “and we did four shows. We did 14 shows last year, and we’re gonna do 34 shows on this tour.”

What’s Lynch’s favorite holiday jam?

“My favorite Christmas song is ‘O Holy Night’, [as sung] by The Lettermen,” she says.

“It’s just gorgeous!”

That carol isn’t on the album, but Lynch and co. do tap into a number of classics both pop and traditional, including “Jingle Bells,” “We Three Kings,” “Silent Night” and “Up On the Housetop” (the Jackson 5 version is positively bulletproof). They also perform a rendition of “The First Noel” that segues into Pachelbel’s “Canon in D.” Indeed, it’s their love of the classics that unites the ensemble.

“We all share an aesthetic and a love for the music arranged in the late ’50s, early ’60s, kind of the jazzy, big-band stuff. The Christmas stuff that endured was recorded back then, like the Rosemary Clooneys and the Bing Crosbys and the Andrews Sisters, Andy Williams. So we’re hearing much of that ilk. It’s very much of a throwback of an album to that era, and the show as well.”

The show offers fans the chance to see yet another dimension of one of the most well-rounded performers of her generation. Born in July 1960, Lynch has spent the past 30 years compiling one of the most diverse and impressive

résumés in Hollywood. Her legendary run as the antihero Sue Sylvester on Glee spanned 121 episodes (and included a staggering 728 musical performances) throughout six seasons, 2009-’15. That role earned Lynch an Emmy, a Screen Actors Guild Award and a People’s Choice Award. She even received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 2013. Her list of performance credits is lengthy, by any conceivable standard, ranging from voice-over work to movies to the musical Annie.

“It came together accidentally,” she says of her career. “I’ve never had specific goals, so I’ve never said ‘no’ to anything. I just want to be in the game. I’ll do anything, if it’s done well.”

For Lynch, this show is about more than just the music. It’s about setting a mood, harkening to bygone times and priceless memories. And the holidays are about more than just buying stuff.

“I don’t buy presents, and I don’t accept presents,” she says. “We do a grab bag with my family; we each get one person, and we can spend 50 bucks.”

She’s doing Christmas in Cali this year, but she usually goes back home to Illinois for the holidays. “I don’t even start thinking about Christmas until I hop on the plane and I’m heading to Chicago,” she says. “Then, as soon as I hit Chicago, nobody does Christmas like Chicago. I usually get a hotel room, Downtown.

My sister comes from the suburbs and stays with me, and then we go to her house for Christmas dinner.”

A Swingin’ Little Christmas offers a fun glimpse at the life of a fully actualized artist, a performer who has earned the ability to work on her own terms, without compromise.

Her pride in the material is clear, and without artifice or ego.

“I don’t have that white-hot ambition that I had when I was younger,” Jane says. “Now, it’s more of a warm glow.”

Shelton Hull mail@folioweekly.com

A SWINGIN’ LITTLE CHRISTMAS • 7 p.m. Monday, Dec. 17, Ritz Theatre & Museum, Downtown, ritzjacksonville.com, $34-$54 12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 12-18, 2018

FOLIO A+E : FILM

NOTHING BUT

FLOWERS A Hollywood tale of DOMESTIC INTRIGUE, Dutch-style

T

alk about a checkered past. Tulip Fever was originally planned for 2004 with Shakespeare in Love’s John Madden directing. Didn’t happen. Then, in 2011, Tom Hooper (The King’s Speech) passed on it to do Les Miserables. Finally filmed in 2004, the movie languished after a poor test screening.

Its release was pushed back again and again until the studio bit the bullet with a limited debut in September 2017.

Despite an impressive cast, headlined by three Oscar winners, and a script by multipleaward-winner Tom Stoppard, a true light of contemporary British theater, Tulip Fever got little notice and mostly negative reviews.

Which only goes to show. you can’t always trust the critics. And believe me, I acknowledge the irony of that confession.

Directed by Justin Chadwick and based on Deborah Moggach’s novel, it’s an impressive period piece set in 17th-century Amsterdam, where the tulip trade created an economic mania similar to the current tech frenzy.

The two major forces behind the camera are at home with costume dramas and period pieces. Stoppard won an Oscar for Shakespeare in Love (’98) and a Tony for Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, a quirky take on Hamlet which he directed for the screen in 1990. Similarly, Chadwick’s first feature film, The Other Boleyn Girl (2008), was set in the age of lusty Henry VIII. Chadwick fashions the look of Tulip Fever while Stoppard absolutely nails the characters and their unlikely story of love, art, comedy and (of course) tulips.

Sophia (Alicia Vikander) is rescued from an orphanage by a marriage proposal tendered by rich—and significantly older— merchant Cornelis Sandvoort (Christoph Waltz). The Dutchman is looking for a young woman to give him a male heir.

“Marriage is a safe harbor,” says the abbess of the orphanage (Judi Dench). “Give him an heir and everything will be fine. So love, honor and obey. It’s for the best.”

Sophia does not look convinced.

Three years later, there is no child, despite Cornelis’ nightly efforts.

Then comes handsome young artist Jan van Loos (Dane DeHaan), hired by Cornelis to paint a family portrait. Determined to remain faithful to her husband, Sophia is at first frightened by her attraction to van Loos, but love will out … despite the wealth and power of her husband.

This may sound like the backdrop to another melodrama of loss and betrayal, one doomed to tragedy, but one of the many delights of Tulip Fever is its rich humor and unexpected plot twists. In tandem with

Sophia’s secret affair is another relationship, that of her housemaid Maria (Holliday Grainger) and young fishmonger Mattheus (Matthew Morrison). Eager to finance their marriage, Mattheus gets into the tulip market, hitting it big before disaster seems to ruin everything for him and his love.

Pregnant but unmarried, Maria is in a pickle. Mattheus thinks she’s having an affair with the painter. Sophia needs to be pregnant, lest her husband send her away. The two women join forces in a frantic cover-up, leading the cuckolded Cornelis to believe that his wife is carrying the child.

Drawn into the conspiracy of swollen bellies and morning sickness (both feigned and otherwise) is a salacious but willing physician (Tom Hollander) as well as van Loos’ tipsy friend Gerrit (an unrecognizable but typically funny Zach Galifianakis).

And there are the ups and downs of the tulip market, into which van Loos is also drawn. The desperate young painter seeks a financial windfall so that he and Sophia may flee to the New World.

In tone, Tulip Fever closely resembles Shakespeare in Love. More than just comic, however, the movie is also touching and poignant, particularly as we see the transformation both of Cornelis and Sophia toward the end.

You may have never even heard of it, but Tulip Fever is one of those surprise delights that often fly under the radar of even the most perspicacious viewer. Broaden your horizons and take a look.

Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com

OVERSET

NOW SHOWING HOME ALONE See Santa and the movie, feed Jacksonville, 2 p.m. Dec. 12, The Florida Theatre, Downtown. Admission is canned or nonperishable food item, floridatheatre.com.

CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ The General, The Old Man & the Gun, The Great Buster, Mr. Fish: Cartooning from the Deep End and Steamboat Bill Jr. are currently screening. Can You Ever Forgive Me? and Science Fair start Dec. 14. It’s a Wonderful Life starts Dec. 16.. 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com.

WGHF IMAX Great Barrier Reef, America’s Musical Journey and The Polar Express are currently screening.

Mortal Engines starts Dec. 13. World Golf Hall of Fame, St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com.

SUN-RAY CINEMA Bohemian Rhapsody, Wildlife and Border are currently screening. Roma, Vox Lux, Burning and Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, start Dec. 14. 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com.

DECEMBER 12-18, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13

ARTS + EVENTS

The sixth annual HOLIDAY TRAINS display, hosted by Toy Train Collectors of Jacksonville, features a motorized train and volunteer operators. It opens Dec. 16 and runs through Dec. 31, at Museum of Science & History, Southbank, themosh.org, free with regular admission.

PERFORMANCE

THE GAME’S AFOOT (or HOLMES FOR THE HOLIDAYS) The popularity Sherlock Holmes is enjoying is further elevated with this production, staged 8 p.m. Dec. 13, 14 & 15, Amelia Community Theatre, 207/209 Cedar St., Fernandina, 261-6749, ameliacommunitytheatre.org, $10-$22.

THE ULTIMATE CHRISTMAS SHOW The first half is The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, followed by a Christmas comedy show, 7:30 p.m. Dec. 13, 14 & 15; 2 p.m. Dec. 16; The Island Theater, 1860 Town Hall Cir., Fleming Island, 254-1455, $15 adults, students $10, theislandtheater.com.

THE NUTCRACKER IN A NUTSHELL The Florida Ballet presents this sweet, abbreviated performance to introduce kids to ballet, 10:30 a.m. Dec. 14, University of North Floirda’s Lazzara Hall, floridaballet.org, $10.

HOLIDAY FAIRE Gamble Rogers Music Festival presents this faire featuring caroling, crafts, fire pits, photo booth, food, drinks, baked goods, hot cocoa and s’mores, plus live music by Sebastian Middle School String Orchestra & Guitar Ensemble, The Madrigaiz, Murray Middle School Jazz Band and Collapsible B, 7-10 p.m.

Dec. 14, Colonial Quarter, 33 St. George St., St. Augustine, gamblerogersfest.org.

THE NUTCRACKER The Florida Ballet performs, 7:30 p.m.

Dec. 14; 2 & 7:30 p.m. Dec. 15; 2 p.m. Dec. 16, UNF’s Lazzara Hall, floridaballet.org, $22.50-$47.50.

A CHRISTMAS STORY The Apex Theatre Studio presents the comedy based on the movie (“You’ll shoot your eye out, kid!”), directed by Ian Mairs, with area performers, 7 p.m. Dec. 14, 2 & 7 p.m. Dec. 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, apextheatrejax.com, $25.

DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW A holiday romp by Jessie Jones, Nicholas Hope & Jamie Wooten; 8 p.m. Dec. 14 & 15; 2 p.m.

Dec. 16 at All Beaches Experimental Theatre, 544 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, eventbrite.com, $24.

FOXFIRE Appalachian culture play, 7:30 p.m. Dec. 13-15 & 20-22; 2 p.m. Dec. 16 & 23, Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, limelight-theatre.org, $15.

MASS The effects of a mass shooting at an office party are examined in Adam Groff’s play. Runs 7 p.m. Dec. 13 & 25, 1 p.m. Dec. 15 & 22, MOCAJax, 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, phaseeight.com, $20.

CLOSET CHRISTIAN: CHIRSTIAN IN A SECULAR WORLD Riverside Fine Arts Association presents acquisition artist Jim Smith, who discusses his work and his life, 7 p.m. A concert by Alliance Brass is 8 p.m. Dec. 14, Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd, 1100 Stockton St., Riverside, 389-6222, $25.

CLASSICAL, CHORALE

CONTINUES ON PAGE 23 >>>

14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 12-18, 2018

CELLIST YEHUDA HANANI The distinguished cellist appears with JU faculty cellist Shannon Lockwood, Todd Lockwood (bass) and Scott Watkins (piano), in works by Rossin, Barrière, Bach and Prokofiev, 7:30 p.m. Dec. 12, Jacksonville University’s Terry Concert Hall, 2800 University Blvd., ju.edu/cfa.

TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA The beloved multimedia, music-and-laser, seasonal overload show is staged 7:30 p.m. Dec. 13, Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., Downtown, 630-3900, prices vary, jaxarena.com.

FIRST COAST NUTCRACKER The Jacksonville Symphony performs the holiday classic, 8 p.m. Dec. 14 & 15, 2 p.m.

Dec. 15 & 16, Times-Union Center’s Moran Theater, 300 Water St., Downtown, my.jaxsymphony.org, $21-$60.

ST. AUGUSTINE COMMUNITY CHORUS The Chorus begins its 70th season performing Gaudete! Rejoice!, and premiering “What Sweeter Music,” by local composer Peter Mathews, in addition to an appearance by St. Augustine Youth Chorus, 7:30 p.m. Dec. 15; 2 p.m.

Dec. 16, Cathedral Basilica of St. Augustine, 38 Cathedral Place, staugustinecommunitychorus.org, $5-$20.

SOWETO GOSPEL CHOIR Beaches Fine Arts Series presents the choir in a tribute to Nelson Mandela, 4 p.m. Dec. 16, St. Paul’s by-the-Sea Episcopal Church, 465 11th Ave. N., Jax Beach, beachesfinearts.org, free. Artist Brook Ramsey exhibits abstracts.

A CELTIC CHRISTMAS Ed Miller, Jil Chambless and Scooter Muse perform, 5 p.m. Dec. 17, Beaches Museum Chapel, $25-$30, beachesmuseum.org.

ART IN THE PARK HOLIDAY CONCERT Featuring DMAB All Stars, plus a Christmas toy giveaway, Dec. 15, DMAB Community Art Center, 2839 W. Beaver St., Westside, 385-4001, dontmissabeat.org.

LITTLE DRUMMER BOY For King & Country present their Christmas program, 7:30 p.m. Dec. 16, Veterans Memorial Arena, jaxarena.com, $18-$68.

BACKTRACK VOCALS This vocal quintet performs 3 p.m. Dec. 16, Friday Musicale, 645 Oak St., Riverside, 355-7584, free.

COOL SIDE OF YULETIDE Jacksonville Children’s Chorus performs, 2-5 p.m. Dec. 15, Hendricks Avenue Baptist Church, 4001 Hendricks Ave., jaxchildrenschorus.org, $20.

HOLIDAY POPS The Gainesville Orchestra performs, conducted by Evan Haile, 7:30 p.m. Dec. 19, Flagler College’s Lewis Auditorium, 14 Granada St., St. Augustine, 797-2800, emmaconcerts.com.

APPALACHIAN CAROLS North Florida Women’s Chorale and Gainesville Brass Quintet perform, 7 p.m. Dec. 28, Cathedral Basilica, free, womenschorale.org.

BOOKS & POETRY

DONNA LEE OVERLY BOOK SIGNING Overly signs copies of her book, The Zeppelin Bend: Unraveling the Knot of Deception, 1:30-4:30 p.m. Dec. 13, The Book Loft, 214 Centre St., Fernandina, 261-8991, thebookloft.com.

BRUCE THOMASON & J.D. HUNTER BOOK SIGNING The co-authors sign copies of their book, The Domino Event, 1-4 p.m. Dec. 16, The Book Loft, 214 Centre St., Fernandina, 261-8991, thebookloft.com.

COMEDY

CARL STRONG The comic appears 7:30 p.m. Dec. 12 & 13, 8:30 p.m. Dec. 14, 8 & 9:45 p.m. Dec. 15, The Comedy Zone,

DECEMBER 12-18, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15

FOLIO A+E : MUSIC Roger McGuinn and Chris Hillman celebrate the golden anniversary of The Byrds’ SWEETHEART OF THE RODEO

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16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 12-18, 2018

he Byrds’ Roger McGuinn and Chris Hillman, together with Marty Stuart and his Superlatives, are currently on tour to observe the 50th anniversary of their pivotal album, Sweetheart of the Rodeo.

Of all the golden anniversaries connecting the tumult of 1968 to 2018, it is fitting to revisit The Byrds’ country-rock classic here near year’s end. At the time of its August 1968 release, four months had passed since Dr. Martin Luther King’s assassination, two since Bobby Kennedy’s, a week since Soviet tanks had rumbled into Prague, mere days since tear gas wafted onto the floor of the Democratic National Convention in Chicago.

On the surface, Sweetheart doesn’t sound like any of that, at all.

And yet, it may be one of 1968’s most profound sonic documents, because what you can hear in it is a California rock band turning to American musical tradition to make sense of their moment. Different corners of the counterculture handled the year’s apocalyptic air in their own appropriate ways. The MC5 and The Stooges hurled vitriol; the Velvet Underground curled into a knowing cynicism. The Byrds responded by practically inventing Americana. With the nation’s social fabric seemingly torn asunder, Sweetheart’s country-rock ballads played their small part in stitching it back together.

This seems like a lot to lay on The Byrds. After all, the ’60s pantheon does not tend to include them in the first tier of rock revolutionaries: Beatles, Stones, Dylan, Hendrix, Joplin, Morrison. It was the experimental collages of Pet Sounds and Sgt. Pepper’s, not the nostalgic harmonies of Sweetheart of the Rodeo, that supposedly drove home the idea that rock music was serious, complex, adult art. These works leaned into the shock of the new, the decade’s dizzying mix of heightened expectations

and dashed hopes, modish affectation and psychedelic splash. The Byrds were a part of all of these conversations, and understood them well. “Eight Miles High” had established their psych credentials. But with Sweetheart, they made something like the anti-Sgt. Pepper’s, a statement of sonic simplicity, reverence for tradition and arrangements that translated well to live performance.

Of the other ’60s icons, The Byrds’ career most closely intertwines with Dylan’s.

The beginning of the decade found Dylan squarely ensconced in folk, a universe then far removed from rock. Folk was for the earnest, the engaged, the intellectual, while rock, the folkies claimed, pandered to the funseekers, weekend hell-raisers and fad-chasers.

Together, The Byrds and Dylan obliterated the distinction between the two, merging rock’s infectious verve and folk’s ambitious gravity.

Dylan’s electric turn at the 1965 Newport Folk Festival often serves as shorthand for the whole process but, earlier that same year, The Byrds had also helped ease Dylan’s rock transition with their chart-topping recording of his “Mr. Tambourine Man.” If “Mr. Tambourine Man” was folkrock’s opening act, Sweetheart of the Rodeo inaugurated country-rock with the further recognition that the lines between “folk” and “country” had more to do with social position, region, marketing and politics than with the music itself. Sweetheart is countryrock’s beating heart, the genre’s Pangea, its Big Bang, its Rosetta Stone.

Of course, the Byrds were not the only act blurring the boundaries between rock and country and folk. Country-rock arrived as a cresting wave of artists rather than a solo voyage of discovery. Dylan and the group that would come to be called The Band had already improvised the infamous Basement Tapes in upstate New York, though those

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group). It feels timely because The Byrds seem tracks remained apocryphal in 1968. Dylan to have turned to country as a port in the had also already tested the Nashville waters 1968 storm, looking to the nation’s past to with John Wesley Harding. Fellow Southern explain its present.

Californians Buffalo Springfield plowed the Whether the album’s rendition of same fields; Mike Nesmith eyed a postAmerican tradition resonates as hymn, Monkees career that reflected his Texas hallelujah or dirge depends largely on the roots; and The Beau Brummels’ country-rock listener. Personally, I have always heard gem Bradley’s Barn dropped shortly after their work as anthemic, Sweetheart. a Guthrie-style reminder But Sweetheart of ROGER McGUINN AND CHRIS that American tradition the Rodeo crystalized HILLMAN WITH MARTY STUART has always been contested all these ongoing & HIS FABULOUS SUPERLATIVES 7 p.m. Monday, Dec. 17, territory, the province developments. It did so Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, of anyone who might be with a refurbished Byrds pvconcerthall.com, $79-$165 able to imagine himself or lineup. David Crosby herself in it, whether hippie had moved on, and like Hillman, Southerner like Parsons, black Florida-born, Georgia-raised Gram Parsons like Bell, or ex-con like Haggard. had entered the ranks. Though McGuinn and In the years following Sweetheart, the Hillman had always been steeped in folk and Byrds would split and regroup in various bluegrass, Parsons strongly influenced the combinations. Hillman and Parsons teamed new album’s country turn. up to further California country-rock The track list begins, appropriately, with with The Flying Burrito Brothers, before Dylan, as The Byrds brought “You Ain’t Parsons spiraled off in collaborations with Goin’ Nowhere,” one of those self-same The Rolling Stones, Emmylou Harris and basement tapes, into the light of day. They martyrdom. McGuinn held the band together stirred in other iconic folkies, recording in partnership with Clarence White through Woody Guthrie’s “Pretty Boy Floyd” and the early ’70s and subsequent reunions. reworking the traditional “I Am a Pilgrim.”

Separately, their work would often match They gestured to the genre’s AfricanSweetheart, but nothing they made after could American influences with soul singer William really surpass it.

Bell’s “You Don’t Miss Your Water.” The Sweetheart of the Rodeo is the hope and album’s signature, though, is its full country hurt of 1968 encased in amber, yearning for tilt: tracks like The Louvin Brothers’ “The an America that feels both whole and true Christian Life,” honky-tonk auteur Cindy to itself, all in a melodious country-rock Walker’s “Blue Canadian Rockies” and Merle package. When McGuinn, Hillman, Stuart Haggard’s “Life in Prison.” Gram Parsons and the band take the stage in 2018, that contributes the album’s only original tracks, amber liquefies just a little, the feelings frozen and his classic “Hickory Wind” feels very in it reanimated for our own moment. much at home in this august company. The Jason Mellard 2018 setlists have included all of these, in mail@folioweekly.com addition to other Byrds classics. _____________________________________ From top to bottom, Sweetheart of the Mellard is assistant professor of history at Texas Rodeo is both timely and timeless. It sounds State University and author of Progressive timeless because the impeccable musicianship Country: How the 1970s Transformed the and song-craft hold up (with an able assist Texan in Popular Culture. in concert from Marty Stuart’s top-notch

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DECEMBER 12-18, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17

PICKS

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12 GIVE BLOOD. PLAY HOCKEY.

JACKSONVILLE ICEMEN The Icemen return home from a four-game road trip in first place in

the ECHL South Division. With three games on their home ice this week against division foes, can the Icemen stay on top? 7 p.m. Wednesday, Dec. 12, vs. Orlando Solar Bears; 7:30 p.m. Friday, Dec. 14, vs. Atlanta Gladiators; 7 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 15, vs. Florida Everblades, Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., jacksonvilleicemen.com, $10-$48.

CUT THE NETS

FORTEGRA BASKETBALL INVITATIONAL

STAND TALL, TALK SMALL, PLAY BALL

UNF OSPREYS VS. CHARLESTON SOUTHERN BUCCANEERS

In a rematch of a game played two weeks ago at Charleston, UNF hopes to match the earlier result and sweep the season series. Garrett Sims and Noah Horchler led the Ospreys to a 76-70 win over CSU on Dec. 1. 5 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 15, UNF Arena, 11852 UNF Dr., unfospreys.com, $10-$15.

THU

13

Eight area high school boys’ basketball teams will participate in this inaugural three-day event. The proceeds support High School 9:12, an initiative to help youth by creating change in our community.

12:30-10 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 13; 12:30-10 p.m.

Friday, Dec. 14; noon9:30 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 15, Episcopal School of Jacksonville, 4455 Atlantic Blvd., jaxhighschool912.com/ basketball-invitational, $5-$15.

SUN

16

SAVE THE DRAMA FOR MAMA, WE’RE HERE TO PLAY EDWARD WATERS LADY TIGERS AT JU DOLPHINS

Two local women’s basketball teams square off in historic Swisher Gym. The only previous meeting between the schools’ women’s hoops teams was in 2015 (won by JU). 2 p.m.

Saturday, Dec. 15, Swisher Gymnasium, 2800 University Blvd. N., judolphins.com, $5.

YOU CAN SUM UP THIS GAME IN TWO WORDS: YOU NEVER KNOW SAT

15 18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 12-18, 2018

JAGUARS VS. WASHINGTON’S NFL TEAM (WITH AN OFFENSIVE NICKNAME)

Even though the Jags are relegated to playing the role of spoiler, it’s still the NFL. And TIAA Bank Field still has swimming pools, a dog park and the two largest stadium video boards in the world.

1 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 16, TIAA Bank Field, Northbank, jaguars.com, $27 and up.

ARTS + EVENTS 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, comedyzone.com, $15-$18.

ART WALKS, MARKETS

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Local/regional art, produce, live music–Clay County Show Choir, Savanna Leigh Bassett, Nikki Talley Dec. 15–under Fuller Warren Bridge, free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com.

MUSEUMS

BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY PARK 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, beachesmuseum.org. Jeffrey Luque’s Vibrancy & Illumination, through February.

CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM Flagler College, 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530. Sky Hopinka’s exhibit, Around the Edge of Encircling Lake, is up through December.

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org. Augusta Savage: Renaissance Woman, up through April.

KARPELES MANUSCRIPT LIBRARY & MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield. #Mylove, Jeffrey Luque’s solo show, exhibits through January, jeffreyluqueart.com.

LIGHTNER MUSEUM 75 King St., St. Augustine, 808-7330, lightnermuseum.org. The Amazing Miniature World of Thomas Rahner, through Jan. 1.

MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.unf.edu. Gideon Mendel: Drowning World exhibits. Frank Stella Unbound: Literature & Printmaking until Jan. 13.

GALLERIES

THE ART CENTER COOPERATIVE TAC Annex, Ste. 113, Jax Landing, 233-9252, tacjacksonville.org. Closing reception for the exhibit Corners, 6 p.m. Dec. 13.

BOLD BEAN SAN MARCO 1905 Hendricks Ave., 853-6545.

Brook Ramsey’s figurative oil paintings.

BREW 5 POINTS 1026 Park St., Riverside. Chip Southworth shows bridge-based works in Connections.

BUTTERFIELD GARAGE ART GALLERY 137 King St., St. Augustine, 825-4577. The artist for December is Sam Kates. His works exhibit through the month.

Small Treasures, Good Things Come in Small Packages, through December.

CATHEDRAL ARTS PROJECT 207 N. Laura St., Ste. 300, Downtown, capkids.org. Andrew Kozlowski’s 10,000 Years exhibits through December.

CULTURAL CENTER at PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, 280-0614, ccpvb.org. Jacksonville Coalition for Visual Arts winter show is on exhibit. Artisan Market, with pottery, jewelry, photography and paintings, is open.

CUTTER & CUTTER FINE ART 333 Village Main St., Ste. 640, Ponte Vedra, 395-3759, cutterandcutter.com. The exhibition and sale of The Argillet Collection, featuring various works of

Salvador Dalí, displays through Dec. 16.

FLORIDA MINING GALLERY 5300 Shad Rd., Mandarin, 268-4681, floridamininggallery.com. Slamdance Cosmopolis, a collaborative exhibit of works by Matt Allison and Matthew Usinowicz, is on display.

JENNA ALEXANDER STUDIO 73 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine, 850-384-3084, jenna-alexander.com. Alexander’s new works, Stripes and Buns, display.

MAIN LIBRARY’S MAKERSPACE 303 N. Laura St., Downtown.

Ties and Knots, an exhibit of contemporary textile works, is up through Jan. 21.

RAIN DOGS 1045 Park St., 5 Points, 379-4969. Pleas To Meat You, new works by Stephen “Cryface” Bunnell, Tyler LewisGoshen, Brittany Raja, Matt Jaffe and Randall Royal, is up through December.

SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 1 Independent Dr., Downtown, southlight.com. Nick McNally’s 8 Visions is on exhibit.

THE YELLOW HOUSE 577 King St., Riverside, 419-9180, yellowhouseart.org. Piercing the Veil, Thony Aiuppy’s new, experimental works, are on display.

STUDIO ZSA ZSA LAPREE 233 E. Bay St., Downtown. Creative Kids Show, through December.

THE VAULT@1930 1930 San Marco Ave., thevaultat1930.com.

Local abstract painter Princess Simpson Rashid displays her works in Odyssey of Abstraction.

EVENTS

HOLIDAY COOKIE TOUR Amelia Island Bed & Breakfast Association holds an annual self-guided tour noon-5 p.m.

Dec. 12. Six classic inns and B&Bs, in holiday finery, offer a signature cookie and recipe cards. Free carriage and trolley rides. Ticket prices vary, proceeds benefit Friends of Nassau County Libraries. Details: ameliaislandinns.com, ameliaislandchristmas.com.

HOLIDAY ON THE RIVER The annual free concert series continues through Dec. 22 in the Courtyard at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 353-1188, jacksonvillelanding.com. Live performances by local choirs, school kids and dance groups are performed in front of the 56-foot-tall Christmas tree at midday and in the evening.

UNF OSPREYS BASKETBALL UNF men’s roundball against Charleston Southern University, 5 p.m. Dec. 15, University of North Florida’s Arena, Southside, 620-5429; general admission $5, UNF students free with Osprey 1Card, unf. edu. The women go up against Alabama A&M, 2 p.m. Dec. 20.

Then it’s Warner University, 2 p.m. Dec. 21. ___________________________________________ To list your event, send time, date, location (street address, city/neighborhood), admission price and a contact phone number to print to Marlene Dryden, mdryden@folioweekly. com or 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Space available policy. Deadline noon Wed. for next Wed. printing.

Chicago’s ALLIANCE BRASS QUINTET comes to Riverside for an evening of music spanning the centuries, from the early Renaissance to the Jazz Age. 8 p.m. Friday, Dec. 14, Riverside Fine Arts, riversidefinearts.org, $10-$25

DECEMBER 12-18, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19

FOLIO A+E : MUSIC ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL mines the music of Texas’ past while keeping its focus forward

PRESERVE AND

PASS IT ON A

ustin, Texas, may be the epitome of 21st-century hipster cool, but back in the 1970s, the sleepy Texas capital was also a hotbed of divergent strains of country music. Outlaw musicians like Willie Nelson and Waylon Jennings rebelled against the Nashville establishment, while Commander Cody updated traditional country and Western with the psychedelic rock of the late ’60s.

But Asleep at the Wheel went farther back, mining the Western swing of Bob Wills & His Texas Playboys while mixing jazz, rhythm and blues, and conjunto tejano into an irresistible blend. With countless Grammy Awards, Americana Music Association achievements, and Billboard chart appearances since Asleep at the Wheel formed in 1970, you’d think Ray Benson and his ever-rotating crew of skillful musicians would have packed it in by now.

Not a chance, Benson tells Folio Weekly, as the band nears its 50th anniversary with a new record in tow and a slew of tour dates.

Folio Weekly: Asleep at the Wheel is back in Ponte Vedra a year after your last show. Guess that means we made a good impression on you?

Ray Benson: It’s a wonderful place and an area where we have a lot of fans. And we want to keep ’em happy.

What’s different this time around?

The new album came out a couple months ago, and we’ll do about a half-hour of Christmas songs, too, since it is December. We’ve done three Christmas albums over the last 20 years, so the band loves it. Everybody has fun with it.

22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 12-18, 2018

Tell us more about New Routes, the first original Asleep at the Wheel album in a decade. What did you want to accomplish, especially with a name that points so firmly to the future?

Well, it’s actually pronounced “New Roots.” Most of what Asleep at the Wheel has done is play American roots music but interpreted it our own way.

So the conceptual idea was, “We’re capable of doing our own thing but combining it with the old.” It took us about a year, but this band has really gelled, so we figured we needed to go into the studio while we had that energy.

You co-wrote several songs with new fiddle player Katie Shore—a responsibility you haven’t shared since the 1980s. What did you learn from the process?

Well, the way we did it. In the past, I’d sit in a room with somebody and wait for the ideas to flow. Sometimes that’d work great; sometimes you’d hit a stone wall. This time, I was fooling around one night around 11 p.m. and got an idea, so I texted it to Katie on her phone. She liked it, texted me some ideas back, and we ran with it. That’s what was different—and so cool.

ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL

8 p.m. Tuesday, Dec. 18, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, pvconcerthall.com, $39 The album ends with “Willie Got There First,” an ode to country legend Willie Nelson and his pioneering work to make Austin a mecca of alternative country. Are you two close?

We’re just good pals—really, the best of friends. I texted him just yesterday and I’ll see him next week. I introduced him to [2018 U.S. Senate candidate] Beto O’Rourke.

Willie’s still as creative and amazing at 85 years old as he was 50 years ago. I wouldn’t be here without Willie Nelson. I’d be working a job, I guess.

So even after nearly 50 years of leading the band, you still don’t consider Asleep at the Wheel a “job”?

I enjoy it too much [to consider it a job]. This music is unique. It’s American, it’s Texan, it’s appealing stylistically. It gets either your foot tapping or your eyes smiling. It can help you forget about the bad stuff and get happy, as they say about the blues. But Asleep at the Wheel encompasses the whole American experience, from Texas swing to country music to New Orleans jazz to blues. It’s all the things that America has been for the last 100 years.

Music might be the last refuge of nonpartisan happiness—a world where politics don’t matter and joy is the thing. Do you see that on the ground level?

Playing music shows the goodness of people in your community. Here in Austin, there really is that feeling—we’re all in this together, so let’s make it fun for each other.

Is Austin better now than it was in the ’70s?

Change is inevitable—that’s all I can say.

I liked Austin better in the ’70s for some reasons, but there are some things I like better now. The kind of person who thinks that everything is going to stay the same is delusional. You can’t go home again, as Thomas Wolfe said.

Which speaks to the ever-changing lineup of Asleep at the Wheel. Some players come and some players go, but everyone seems better for their time in the band.

Absolutely. I’m just recruiting a circus, you know? “C’mon, jump on the bus and play this music.” Bob Wills had a thousand people in his band over the years. And half my band now is 35 or younger. That helps to preserve the music and pass it on to the next generation.

Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com

FOLIO A+E : FILM

I

MOWGLI

f you’re thinking, “Really, another Jungle Book movie?” in regard to Mowgli: Legend of the Jungle, it’s understandable. After all, the two previous versions (Disney’s 1967 cartoon and 2016 live action remake) are satisfying enough to not make us crave more. Is Mowgli, which is now available on Netflix, worth watching nonetheless? Marginally yes, because it is different enough to not feel like a cash grab retread.

Based on multiple Rudyard Kipling stories rather than just The Jungle Book, and notably darker in terms of theme and mood, Mowgli is clearly for teens and adults. (It’s even rated PG-13.) The core story is narrated by the Python Kaa (Cate Blanchett) and remains unchanged. Baby Mowgli (an impressive Rohan Chand) is raised in the jungle by a pack of wolves led by Akela (Peter Mullan) and Nisha (Naomie Harris). Panther Bagheera (Christian Bale) and grizzly bear Baloo (Andy Serkis, who also directs) also mentor Mowgli, which is kind but gives the boy identity issues—he grows up thinking he’s a wolf, though he knows he doesn’t look or act the same as the pack. Thirsty for Mowgli’s blood (possibly because he killed Mowgli’s mother, which left the boy orphaned in the jungle) is Bengal tiger Shere Khan (Benedict Cumberbatch), who believes no man should live with animals. In the backdrop is a camp of humans that includes a hunter (Matthew Rhys) who was hired to kill Shere Khan and doesn’t care about collateral damage.

Visually the film is impressive, though gloomy beyond reason. It’s hard to appreciate the animated animals when the screen is so often in darkness.

The result is more murk than menace.

This is especially a shame given the dazzle of other moments, like when Mowgli swims undetected right under Shere Khan’s maw. We see the tiger through the water as Mowgli looks up, and note the detail of the animation as Shere Khan’s tongue creates a ripple in the water. Great stuff.

Serkis (Kong in King Kong, Gollum in Lord of the Rings) is known as the king of performance capture, in which an actor wears a special suit that records movements that are then animated.

As director, one element from his time as Caesar in the modern Planet of the Apes movies that he nicely incorporates is facial recognition, meaning if you look closely, you can see a bit of Cumberbatch’s face in Shere Khan, Bale’s in Bagheera, and even Blanchett’s in Kaa. This allows the animals to seem more human, and therefore more relatable.

It’s also worth noting that Mowgli: Legend of the Jungle doesn’t play out quite the way you expect, so yes, there’s something new here for even the most ardent lovers of the previous versions. It certainly has flaws, but watch with an open mind and you’ll find it reasonably satisfying.

Dan Hudak mail@folioweekly.com

GROWS UP A DARKER VERSION of the children’s classic

DECEMBER 12-18, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23

FOLIO A+E : MUSIC

SEASON

R

oughly one month separates Thanksgiving and Christmas, and it’s the busiest month of the year for nonprofits and charities. That’s when folks open their hearts and wallets, and give. It’s also when Jacksonville musician and poet Scott T. Horowitz convenes his musical friends for an annual holiday jamboree to benefit local nonprofit Community Hospice and Palliative Care.

Horowitz feels he owes a special debt to the organization.

“My dad passed away in 2011,” he explains. “He had cancer and was in hospice care. Community Hospice provided endof-life care for him and therapy services for my mom after the fact. They provided care for my granddad, too. And they never asked for any money. They will help you no matter what your economic status is.”

He conceived Scott T’s Holiday Jamboree in 2013, as a way of saying—and giving—thanks. It has been hosted at 1904 Music Hall nearly every year since. (In 2016, Horowitz took the event to St. Augustine.) The proceeds have always been directed to Community Hospice.

“This is how I give back and celebrate life all at the same time,” he continues. “That’s what good music, good food and good spirits are all about—enjoying life.”

Horowitz is checking all the boxes. Not only is there music; there’s a free beer keg (while it lasts), free bottles of wine (while they last) and food, courtesy of some of Scott T’s favorite purveyors: Brooks Brothers BBQ, Fehrenbacher’s Artisan Sausages, Spliff’s Gastropub and Southern Roots Filling Station. Manifest Distilling will be presenting a special seasonal cocktail menu.

The line-up is a who’s-who of Jacksonville music luminaries across several genres.

“The nature of the show is unique,” Horowitz says.

“Everyone on the bill has already headlined their own show at 1904.”

The evening is set to begin with an acoustic set by Ben Strok and a bluegrass stomp courtesy of Brett Bass and Melted Plectrum. Bass has been a mainstay on the Americana scene for years. His quartet, Melted Plectrum, is a feast of nearly all of the roots-music food groups: acoustic guitar, double bass, banjo and mandolin (the fiddle is conspicuously absent).

24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 12-18, 2018

Scott T JAMS OUT for a good cause

Illustration by Adam Carstens

SCOTT T’S HOLIDAY JAMBOREE 8 p.m. Friday, Dec. 14, 1904 Music Hall, Downtown, 1904musichall.com

Twin-brother DJ duo MZG headline the fifth annual edition of Scott T’s Holiday Jamboree.

GIVING

John Parkerurban and friends are scheduled to provide a jazzy interlude next, punctuated by a short set of poetry

by Ebony Payne-English. Horowitz crossed paths with Payne-English on the spoken-word circuit, and he was mightily impressed.

After that comes the debut of Osirian Orchestra, a supergroup starring none other than Scott T himself.

“Side Hustle is joining forces with me and Ben [Strok],” Horowitz says. “I’m fronting that band for a one-time thing.”

Headlining the evening is MZG, making a rare hometown appearance. The Jax-born, twin-brother DJ duo are now based in Colorado, but they’re flying in just to assist their friend Scott T. “It’s an eclectic bill,” Horowitz says. And it’s that way for a reason. He wanted to avoid the pitfalls of same-old concert promotion.

“Sometimes I’ll go to a show and it’s three bands that sound exactly the same. It can get boring,” he explains. “I love music, period. Music of all kinds. So I made a show that I would want to go to. Start out with some bluegrass and some chill music. Then roll out your rock and roll soul power. Put your electronic music on last, to blow out the dance party. You can stay from start to finish and you won’t get bored.”

Horowitz sees the love of music as one of humankind’s common denominators, something that can bring us together.

We also share a common fate as human beings. According to Horowitz, Community Hospice and other providers of hospice care help us face that finality.

“It doesn’t matter who you are or what music you like, everyone dies,” says Horowitz. “I think if you can face death and be cool with it, you can live your life more fully.”

The requested donation is $20 but Horowitz emphasizes that any dollar amount is appreciated. Nobody will be turned away.

Horowitz is fully aware that he isn’t raising millions for Community Hospice. By his estimation, his Holiday Jamborees bring in “on average a couple hundred bucks after costs,” but there’s an age-old adage in this giving season: It’s the thought that counts.

Georgio Valentino mail@folioweekly.com

CONCERTS DAVID ELLEFSON, of Megadeth, appears with RISING UP ANGRY, SPLIT TOWN SAINTS, 13 BLOODSHOT, ERODE and HIGHER GROUND, 6 p.m.

Thursday, Dec. 13, Nighthawks, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd., Riverside, 619-9978, $15 advance.

13

LIVE MUSIC VENUES

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA The SALTY PELICAN, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811 Robert Barlow Dec. 12. Jimmy Beats Dec. 14. Amy Vickery Dec. 15.

Davis Turner Dec. 19 SLIDERS Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652 Pili Pili Dec. 12. Tad Jennings Dec. 13. JCnMike Dec. 16. 2 Dudes from Texas Dec. 17. Mark O’Quinn Dec. 18 The SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher, 261-5711 Larry & the Backtracks Dec. 13. King Eddie & Pili Pili Dec. 14. Davis Turner Dec. 15

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

CASBAH Café, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE Nightclub, 4219 St. Johns Ave., 387-3582 KJ Free every Tue. & Thur. Indie dance every Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance music every Fri.

THE BEACHES

(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted) BLUE JAY Listening Room, 412 N. Second St., 834-1315 Chelsey Michelle Dec. 12. J.R. Ward Dec. 13. Johnny Bulford Dec. 14. Samuel Herb, Bryan Frazier Dec. 15. Corey Kilgannon, Radiant Phaedrus Dec. 16. Hoffman’s Voodoo Dec. 19 COOP 303, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 372-4507 Ryan Crary Dec. 14 CULHANE’S Irish Pub, 967 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 249-9595 Michael Funge every Sun. FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 5 O’Clock Shadow Dec. 14 & 15 GREEN ROOM Brewing, 228 Third St. N., 201-9283 Beach City Dec. 14. The Grace Band Dec. 15. Lance Neely Dec. 21 GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925 Groov every Wed. Michael Smith every Thur. Milton Clapp every Fri. LYNCH’S Irish Pub, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Party Cartel Dec.14. Matt Henderson, J Crew Band Dec. 15. 5 O’Clock Shadow Dec. 21. Kristen Campbell every Sun. MEZZA Restaurant, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573 Gypsies Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer every Thur. Mezza House Band every Mon. Trevor Tanner every Tue. MUSIC in the Courtyard, 200 First St., NB, 249-2922 John Austill Dec. 14. Fish Out of Water Dec. 15 RAGTIME Tavern, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877 Billy Bowers Dec. 19.

SEACHASERS, 831 First St. N., 372-0444 Honey Hounds Dec. 15 SLIDERS Seafood Grille, 218 First St., NB, 246-0881 Ace Winn Dec. 13 SURFER the Bar, 200 First St. N., 372-9756 The Hip Abduction, Of Good Nature Dec. 12. H.R. Dec. 19.

WHISKEY JAX, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., 853-5973 Kenny Holt Dec. 12. Hindsite Dec. 13. Sidewalk 65 Dec. 14. Good Wood Dec. 15. Smokestack Dec. 20

DOWNTOWN

1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St. N., 345-5760 Third Annual X-Mas Rager: The Groove Orient Dec. 13. Chad Quinn

Tribute Show: Friendly Fire, The hanging Judge, Kid You Not, Flag on Fire 4 p.m. Dec. 12. Holiday Jamboree: MZG, John Parkerurban, Brett Bass & Melted Plectrum, Ebony PayneEnglish, Side Hustle, Ben Strok 8 p.m. Dec. 14. The Heavy Pets, Universal Green Dec. 20.

DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 DJ Brandon every Thur. DJ NickFresh every Sat. DJ Randall every Mon. DJ Hollywood every Tue. The FLORIDA Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., 355-2787 Miracles Holiday & Hits: Kenny G Dec. 13. Chris Isaak Dec. 16.

Rockapella Dec. 19. Horton’s Holiday Hayride, Junior Brown, The Blasters, Big Sandy Dec. 21 The JAX LANDING, 353-1188 Spanky the Band Dec. 13.

Double Down Dec. 14. Groove Coalition Dec. 15. Highway Jones Dec. 16. Holiday on the River concerts through Dec. 22 MAVERICKS Live, Jax Landing, 356-1110 A Not So Silent Night: Bleeping In Stereo, Breaking Through, Soulswitch, Copper Bones, Sunshine & Bullets, Near Empty, Lowrcase G, Mindslip, No Self, Broken Silence, Fallen Sons, Marion Crane, Dark Summer, Burden Affinity, Auditory Armory Dec. 15 MYTH Nightclub, 333 E. Bay St., 707-0474 Matthew Dekay Dec. 14. Mike Shea Dec. 15.

RITZ Theatre, 829 N. Davis St., 632-5555 A Soulful Noel Dec. 14. A Swingin’ Little Christmas Dec. 17 TIMES-UNION Center for the Performing Arts, 300 Water St., 633-6110 Celtic Thunder X Dec. 20, Moran Theater VETERANS MEMORIAL Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., 630-3900 For King & Country, Zach Williams, Catie Hurst Dec. 16 VOLSTEAD, 115 W. Adams, 414-3171 Cyrus Quaranta Dec. 14. Dexter Jones Dec. 15. Blackjack Dec. 17

FLEMING ISLAND, GREEN COVE

BOONDOCKS, 2808 Henley Rd., Green Cove Springs, 406-9497 Paul Ivey Dec. 12. Ivan Smith Dec. 13. Mark Johns, Zeb Padgett Dec. 14. Lyndie Burns, Black Creek Ri’zin Dec. 15. Mark Johns Dec. 19 CREEK LIFE Food Shack, 2853 Henley Rd., Green Cove Duval County Line Dec. 14 WHITEY’S Fish Camp, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Monkey Wrench Dec. 14. Live music Dec. 15

INTRACOASTAL

CLIFF’S, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 DJ Sharon Dec. 12.

Blistur Dec. 14 & 15 JERRY’S Sports Bar & Grille, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Don’t Call Me Shirley Dec. 14

MANDARIN

ENZA’S Italian Restaurant, 10601 San Jose Blvd., 268-4458 Brian Iannucci Dec. 12, 16 & 18 IGGY’S, 104 Bartram Oaks Walk, 209-5209 The Invasion Dec. 12. Jay C Jr. Dec. 13. Boogie Freaks Dec. 14. Alex Affronti Dec. 15

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG CHEERS, 1138 Park Ave., 269-4855 DJ Capone Dec. 12.

Fratello Dec. 14 & 15

DEE’S Music Bar, 2141 Loch Rane Blvd. Cap Smith & the Hogtown Slayers Dec. 13. Duval County Line Dec. 15 DICK’S Wings, 6055 Youngerman Cir. Duval County Line Dec. 12 The HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael every Tue.-Sat.

PONTE VEDRA

FIONN MacCOOL’S, 145 Hilden Rd., 217-7021 Ace Winn Dec. 14 PONTE VEDRA Concert Hall, 209-0399 Steven Wilson Dec. 16. Roger McGuinn, Chris Hillman, Marty Stuart & the Fabulous Superlatives Dec. 17. Asleep at the Wheel Dec. 18 Restaurant MEDURE, 818 A1A N., 543-3797 Rachel Warfield Dec. 14. Will Hurley Dec. 15. Chris Thomas Dec. 21 TAPS Bar & Grill, 2220 C.R. 210, 819-1554 The George Aspinall Band Dec. 12. Circus Dec. 14

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

MURRAY HILL Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave., 388-7807 A Very Murray Christmas with Cori & Kelly, Celinda Pink’s Blues Band benefit concert Dec. 15 NIGHTHAWKS, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd., 619-9978 Toadface, Dropkick, Flubz, THI3F Dec. 12. David Ellefson (Megadeath), Rising Up Angry, Split Town Saints, 13 Bloodshot, Higher Ground Dec. 13. Link Up 4 Dec. 14. Khaos Fest Dec. 15.

Hometeam Jax Preparty: Custard Pie, Isaac Corbitt, Tom Bennett Band, Ben Strok Dec. 20. Rickolus every Mon. RIVERSIDE Arts Market, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 Clay County Show Choir, Savanna Leigh Bassett, Nikki Talley Dec. 15

ST. AUGUSTINE

ANCIENT CITY Brewing, 3420 Agricultural Dr., 429-9654 Shayne Rammler & the Brakemen Dec. 16 ARNOLD’S, 3912 N. Ponce de Leon, 824-8738 Cottonmouth Dec. 15 CAFÉ ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., 460-9311 Vance Gilbert Dec. 20 COLONIAL OAK Quarter, 21 St. George St., 342-2857 Gamble Rogers Music Festival Holiday Faire Dec. 14 PLANET SARBEZ, 115 Anastasia Blvd., 342-0632 American Opera Dec. 12. Cathedral Bells Dec. 16. The Spring Dec. 17 PROHIBITION Kitchen, 119 St. George St., 209-5704 Inna Vision Dec. 13. Ramona, Zander acoustic Dec. 14. The Raisin Cake Orchestra, Chillula Dec. 15. The WillowWacks Dec. 17.

Colton McKenna Dec. 18 TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Those Guys Dec. 14 & 15

SAN MARCO, NORTHBANK

GRAPE & GRAIN Exchange, 2000 San Marco, 396-4455 The Chris Thomas Band Dec. 12. Bold City Improv Jam Dec. 18 JACK RABBITS, 15280 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Kash’d Out, Cloud 9 Vibes Dec. 14. Shovel to the Moon, Jean Street Sound, Discordant Generation Dec. 15. Christmas with the Currys DECEMBER 12-18, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25

CONCERTS Dec. 17. The Young Step, The Dog Apollo, Skyview, Tube Rider Dec. 18. Charley Farley, Whiskey Heart Dec. 19. Dive Bar, Dancing with Ghosts, Deadkaren Dec. 20 MUDVILLE Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Pierce Pettis Dec. 12. Jack Williams Dec. 14. Songwriters Circle anniversary: Larry Mangum, Jamie DeFrates, Mike Shackelford Dec. 15

SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955 Ken & Kelli Maroney Dec. 15 VETERANS UNITED, 8999 Western Way, 253-3326 Brenna Erickson Dec. 14 WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., 634-7208 Hollie Davis Dec. 12. North of 40 Dec. 14. Party Cartel Dec. 15.

Melissa Smith, Ivan Pulley open mic every Thur.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

COPPER TOP Bar, 12405 Main St., 551-4088 Disciples of the South Dec. 14. Reindeer Games Dec. 15 CROOKED ROOSTER Brewery, 148 S. Sixth St., Macclenny, 653-2337 DJ Toy every Wed. PALMS Fish Camp, 6359 Heckscher Dr., 240-1672 The Last Resort Dec. 12. Bill Ricci Dec. 14. Michael Ward Dec. 15. Lisa & the Mad Hatters Dec. 16

UPCOMING CONCERTS

ROOSEVELT COLLIER TRIO Dec. 23, Blue Jay Listening Room SHOVEL the MOON, PRIDELESS, 100 WATTS VIPER, AUDIO HIVE Dec. 23, Jack Rabbits ASPHALT KISS, RUNNER’S HIGH Dec. 26, Jack Rabbits HENSLEY, REVEL in ROMANCE, JACOB HUDSON Dec. 27, Jack Rabbits The Midnight Hour: ALI SHAHEED MUHAMMAD, ADRIAN YOUNGE Dec. 27, 1904 Music Hall RIOT TEN Dec. 28, Myth Nightclub PASSAFIRE, EL DUB Dec. 28, Surfer the Bar ASTRONAUTILUS, HURRICANE PARTY, DENVER HALL Dec. 28, Jack Rabbits TERRY FATOR Dec. 28, The Florida Theatre The DONNA SUMMER & BARRY WHITE Experience Dec. 28 & 29, Alhambra Theatre The GRASS IS DEAD Dec. 29, 1904 Music Hall FREEKBASS Dec. 29, Jack Rabbits DONNA the BUFFALO, WESTERN CENTURIES Dec. 29, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MR. PETERSON’S NEIGHBORHOOD Dec. 30, 1904 Music Hall BEAU & the BURNERS, MATCHSTICK JOHNNY, The FIREWATER TENT REVIVAL, INVISIBLE FRIENDS Dec. 30, Jack Rabbits The MAIN SQUEEZE, KHRIS ROYAL Dec. 31, 1904 Music Hall COLE SWINDELL Dec. 31, Gator Bowl (Vets Memorial Arena) CRACKER, CAMPER VAN BEETHOVEN Jan. 6, Jack Rabbits RITA COOLIDGE Jan. 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ROCK of AGES Jan. 10, T-U Center, Moran NEWSBOYS UNITED, DANNY GOKEY, MANDISA, REND COLLECTIVE, NEWSONG, HOLLYN, TY BRASEL, MANIC DRIVE, ADAM AGEE Jan. 11, Veterans Memorial Arena KARL DENSON & HIS TINY UNIVERSE BAND Jan. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MARCIA BALL & HER BAND Jan. 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall METAL for MUTTS Jan. 12, 1904 Music Hall FRANKIE VALLI & the FOUR SEASONS Jan. 13, Florida Theatre LAKE STREET DIVE, MIKAELA DAVIS Jan. 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SOUTHERN CULTURE on the SKIDS Jan. 17, 1904 Music Hall The KENNEDYS, ROUGH & TUMBLE Jan. 17, Mudville Music Room MIKE EPPS, SOMMORE, EARTHQUAKE, MARK CURRY, GEORGE WALLACE Jan. 18, Veterans Memorial Arena DREW CAREY, GREG PROOPS, JEFF B. DAVIS, JOEL MURRAY Jan. 19, The Florida Theatre MUTTS GONE NUTS Jan. 19, FSCJ Wilson Center PETE YORN Jan. 22, Jack Rabbits MILE TWELVE Jan. 23, Mudville Music Room RECKLESS KELLY, NIKKI LANE Jan. 24, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS, LUCINDA WILLIAMS Jan. 25, The Florida Theatre VOODOO VISIONARY Jan. 25, Jack Rabbits The OUTLAWS Jan. 25, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SULTANS of STRING Jan. 25, Mudville Music Room OLD 97s, SHOOTER JENNINGS Jan. 26, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall WINDHAND, GENOCIDE PACT Jan. 26, 1904 Music Hall SARA EVANS Jan. 27, Florida Theatre CRASH TEST DUMMIES Jan. 28, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PINK MARTINI Jan. 28, Florida Theatre DAVID CURLEY & ANDREW FINN MAGILL Jan. 29, Mudville MARCO BENEVENTO Jan. 30, Jack Rabbits NEKO CASE Jan. 31, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JOYCE MANOR, JEFF ROSENSTOCK, REMEMBER SPORTS Jan. 31, 1904 Music Hall UNDER the STREETLAMP Feb. 2, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BETHEL MUSIC Feb. 5. T-U Center, Moran Theater GAELIC STORM Feb. 5, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PIGEONS PLAYING PING PONG Feb. 6, 1904 Music Hall DAVID BROMBERG QUINTET Feb. 6, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall The MAGPIE SALUTE Feb. 7, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall G. LOVE & SPECIAL SAUCE Feb. 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall 26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 12-18, 2018

ANDREW McMAHON in the WILDERNESS Feb. 8, Mavericks PATTI LaBELLE Feb. 9, Times-Union Center ALAN DOYLE & GREAT BIG SEA Feb. 10, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall G JONES, TSURUDA, CHEE Feb. 10, 1904 Music Hall AL DI MEOLA Feb. 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall TAJ MAHAL & HIS TRIO Feb. 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall YONDER MOUNTAIN STRING BAND, HANDMADE MOMENTS Feb. 13, 1904 Music Hall KEIKO MATSUI Feb. 14, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JO KOY Feb. 14, The Florida Theatre TOM RUSH, MATT NAKOA Feb. 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MATT & KIM, YUMO Feb. 15, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Backyard Stage FRED EAGLESMITH, TIG GINN Feb. 16, Mudville Grille DAVE MASON, STEVE CROPPER Feb. 17, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LEE ‘SCRATCH’ PERRY, SUBATOMIC SOUND SYSTEM Feb. 17, Jack Rabbits The FLOOZIES, TOO MANY ZOOZ, DREAMERS DELIGHT, The TERMINUS HORNS Feb. 18, 1904 Music Hall LOS LOBOS Feb. 19, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JAKE SHIMABUKURO Feb. 19, The Florida Theatre DAWES Feb. 19, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Backyard Stage The ZOMBIES Feb. 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SPAFFORD Feb. 20, 1904 Music Hall MURDER by DEATH, J RODDY WALSTON & the BUSINESS Feb. 20, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Backyard Stage TOBYMAC, JEREMY CAMP, RYAN STEVENSON, AARON CORE, WE ARE MESSENGERS, Feb. 21, Veterans Memorial Arena KASEY CHAMBERS & the FIREFLY DISCIPLES Feb. 21, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CHRISTOPHER CROSS Feb. 27, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall The EXPENDABLES, BALLYHOO! Feb. 28, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Backyard Stage ALABAMA March 1, St. Augustine Amphitheatre PAM TILLIS, TERRI CLARK, SUZY BOGGUSS March 1, The Florida Theatre STEEL PANTHER, WILSON March 1, Mavericks Live GABRIEL IGLESIAS March 3, T-U Center MORGAN JAMES March 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN March 7, T-U Center, Terry Theater BLAKE SHELTON, TRACE ADKINS, The BELLAMY BROTHERS, JOHN ANDERSON, LAUREN ALAINA March 7, Veterans Memorial Arena The AVETT BROTHERS March 7, St. Augustine Amphitheatre The INFAMOUS STRINGDUSTERS, ROOSEVELT COLLIER March 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall 10,000 MANIACS March 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JUICE March 9, Jack Rabbits HIGH TIME March 9, Mudville Music Room JEFF TWEEDY, JAMES ELKINGTON March 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MIKE GARSON, EARL SLICK, GERRY LEONARD, CARMINE ROJAS, BERNARD FOWLER, COREY GLOVER, LEE JOHN March 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ELTON JOHN March 15, Veterans Memorial Arena DAN & SHAY, MORGAN EVANS March 15, St. Augustine Amphitheatre TREVOR NOAH March 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ROGER McGUINN March 16, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LITTLE FEAT March 20, Florida Theatre JOAN OSBORNE March 21, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ANGELA INGERSOLL March 22, FSCJ’s Wilson Center KELLER WILLIAMS’ PETTYGRASS, The HILLBENDERS March 28, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Backyard Stage DARK STAR ORCHESTRA March 29, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CASTING CROWNS March 30, Daily’s Place ANITRA JAY April 6, Riverside Arts Market BOZ SCAGGS April 10, The Florida Theatre KISS April 12, Veterans Memorial Arena MIDLAND April 12, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DAVE ALVIN, JIMMIE DALE GILMORE, The GUILTY ONES April 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall KENNY CHESNEY April 13, Daily’s TAB BENOIT April 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall EDWIN McCAIN April 17, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall TINSLEY ELLIS April 19, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SANTANA April 20, St. Augustine Amphitheatre KELSEA BALLERINI, BRETT YOUNG, BRANDON RATCLIFF April 26, St. Augustine Amphitheatre The ROLLING STONES April 24, TIAA Bank Field DREAM THEATER April 27, T-U Center, Moran Theater WELCOME TO ROCKVILLE May 3, Metro Park GRETA VAN FLEET May 9, Daily’s The TURTLES, CHUCK NEGRON, GARY PUCKETT & the UNION GAP, The BUCKINGHAMS, CLASSICS IV, The COWSILLS June 2, The Florida Theatre WEIRD AL YANKOVIC June 9, St. Augustine Amphitheatre TRAIN, GOO GOO DOLLS, ALLEN STORE July 9, Daily’s Place _________________________________________ To list your band’s gig, send time, date, location (street address, city or neighborhood), admission price and a contact number to Marlene Dryden, email mdryden@folioweekly.com or by mail at 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202.

Events run on space-available basis. Deadline noon Wed. for next Wed. publication.

FOLIO FOOD Chef Kenny Gilbert takes southern cuisine to NEW HEIGHTS

KENNY THE GREAT

SCIENCE SAYS AN OBJECT IN MOTION STAYS IN motion, and Chef Kenny Gilbert never stops moving. Days after learning he was voted Best Chef in our Best of Jax 2018 readers’ poll, Gilbert boarded a plane for California. It was Thanksgiving. He had been invited to cook for Oprah Winfrey.

Gilbert began his culinary career as a 15-year-old at his local McDonald’s. Since then, he has overcome every obstacle in front of him, working in countless five-star establishments and reaching celeb chef status.

Gilbert rose to national prominence after appearing in season seven of Food Network’s Top Chef.

Of his culinary contribution to the great and mighty Oprah, Gilbert says, “It’s like going to your Great Auntie’s house who you know is really cool and loves good food.”

Five minutes into our conversation, it’s clear that—celebrity chef or not—Gilbert is a down-to-earth dude, and being recognized locally as Best Chef means a tremendous amount to him. The acknowledgment means that “the community respects what I’m doing.”

“People know that I work hard,” he says “I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea for style of food, but they appreciate what I do. It means they see me.”

If you aren’t familiar with Chef Kenny, pull up a chair and grab a fork. He introduced his “modern and traditional Southern fare with barbecue” to NEFla in 2015 with his first restaurant, Gilbert’s Underground

Kitchen, on Amelia Island. Since then, he has moved toward Jacksonville, opening up Gilbert’s Social on the Southside and Gilbert’s Hot Chicken, Fish & Shrimp in Jacksonville Beach. He still takes the time to serve samples and act as ambassador at events like Gastrofest and Taste of the Beaches. He also engages with his customers online. With all this on his plate, you have to wonder how he finds the time to do it all.

“If there’s anything I’m really good at, it’s time management!” says Gilbert.

It’s not just his time management and cooking skills that make his three restaurants successful, though. He’s got a lot of ideas about how to run a prosperous enterprise, and it’s not rocket science. He credits his success to a various skill set coupled with passion and consistency. His diverse cooking styles are always in tune with the brand he’s created and fueled by his passion for the food he produces.

That passion keeps Chef Kenny on his toes at all times. In a matter of three years, he’s expanded his empire—and he’s not done yet.

His most recent restaurant(s), Gilbert’s Hot Chicken, Fish & Shrimp and Gilbert’s Southern Kitchen, actually share the same location in Jacksonville Beach. The building was previously Seachasers Lounge. The amount of available space gave Gilbert the chance to do something a little different.

“I’ve been talking about a food hall concept for years,” he explains.

When he saw the way Seachasers’ kitchen was laid out, it looked feasible—and necessary. Any food hall concept would be innovative for Jax. (No, the mall food court doesn’t count!) But new and different doesn’t always equal successful. And, although Gilbert may love the concept, he’s a businessman.

“I wish [the food hall] was more successful than it is,” he says. “At the end of the day, it has to make money in order for it to make sense.

Is it the right concept for the community to support in its location?”

After trying a BBQ taco pop-up, he isn’t so sure. Still, this is Chef Kenny Gilbert we’re talking about here. If anyone can do it, he will.

Photos by Devon Sarian

Keep your eye on this location.

When he’s not in one of his restaurants or answering countless online messages and comments, Gilbert unwinds with Netflix.

His top pick right now is Final Table—which sounds, according to Gilbert’s enthusiastic description, like the ultimate culinary cross between the history of international cuisine and the experts who cook it. Will we see our Chef Kenny on a future season of Final Table? He said no more, but I could hear the wheels turning.

When he has time to listen to his media, he can’t get enough of Stephanie Burt’s weekly podcast, The Southern Fork. Based in Charleston, Burt puts an emphasis on Southern ingredients, the places where they are grown and the people who cook with them. She recently interviewed Chef Kenny for episode 121.

Gilbert’s constant internal fire means he doesn’t stop moving. He’s got his sights set on a fast-casual BBQ taco joint in Yulee. There’s no opening date yet, but the build-your-owntaco bar will have everything you’d come to expect from Gilbert: house-smoked brisket, pulled turkey tacos and more. Guests will be able to order and pick up at a drive-through window. The spot is a chance for him to come full circle from his days working the drive-through at Mickey D’s. Watch the window once they’ve opened.

You might spot the Best Chef in Jax himself!

Brentley Stead mail@folioweekly.com DECEMBER 12-18, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27

FOLIO COOKING NAAN BETTER THAN Indian fare

KEEP CALM & CURRY ON THE OTHER DAY, I WAS SITTING AT SATAN’S PALACE, (aka Starbucks; I needed free wifi) trying to fill out a credit app with my new Food Purveyor representative. While killing time—lots of time —waiting for an automated, newly updated, user-friendly, instantaneous, time-saving credit application to be sent/loaded/processed, we got to talking food. Who would’ve guessed, right? A food salesman/chef and a chef/ teacher/restaurant owner talking food!

What began with a conversation about the products and price points available from his company eventually turned to toward food allergies and favorite restaurants and finally to cuisines. My rep is a former professional chef and, like me, he’s interested in ethnic cuisines and disheartened by a lack of Indian restaurants on Amelia Island. Now’s the chance for all you ’Villians to go Jalen Ramsey on me and boast about Baymeadows Road and the plethora of Indian eating spots. Go ahead, get it out of your system! We on the Island will just have to make our own.

Curry powder is the first thing that pops into most folks’ heads when Indian food is mentioned. That’s cool, because at the base of all Indian fare is a complex mixture of exotic spices. The term ‘curry powder’ is generic for many different spice blends used throughout the sub-continent. A typical blend usually includes cumin, coriander, turmeric, mustard, cinnamon, cardamom and chili peppers.

Another well-known Indian spice blend is garam masala, which usually contains nutmeg, cloves, cumin, coriander and cinnamon.

The funny thing about these common Indian spice blends is that you may not find them in India. Weird, right? Why? Because when preparing many Indian dishes, part of the cooking technique is to dry-toast whole spices first, then grind them in a mortar and pestle or with a spice grinder. This makes an immense difference in the brightness of flavor. Even if you choose to take a short cut and use pre-ground spices, you should always toast them in the pan for a minute or two.

Never, never just stir them in like a mindless

shoemaker, unless your goal is to have your meal taste like listless dishwater.

The recipe I have for you today is for Naan, an incredibly delicious yeast-risen flatbread which uses yogurt as an enriching agent. The best way to cook these tasty wonders is on a cast iron griddle.

CHEF BILL’S NAAN

Ingredients • 6 oz. whole milk • 1-1/4 oz. active dry yeast, plus 1 pinch extra • 1-1/2 tsp. sugar • 3 cups all-purpose flour, plus extra if needed • 2 tsp. kosher salt • 1 cup Greek yogurt • 1 tsp. preserved lemon, minced • 1 Tbsp. olive oil Directions 1. Heat the milk until it reaches 110°F, no more! Transfer to a small bowl, whisk in the yeast and sugar. Let stand until it becomes foamy, about 10 minutes.

2. Mix flour with salt and preserved lemon in large bowl.

3. Add yeast mixture, yogurt and olive oil to the flour. Mix until a loose dough forms.

4. Transfer to floured surface, knead until smooth dough forms; add flour as needed.

5. Place in a lightly oiled bowl, cover and let rise for 1 to 2 hours.

6. Punch down, divide into two-ounce pieces.

7. Roll into circles, sprinkle with course salt, cook on medium-high griddle, moistened with olive oil. Cook until bubbles begin to appear, then flip (should be browned like a crêpe). Continue to cook until browned on bottom side.

Until we cook again,

Chef Bill Thompson cheffedup@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ Email Chef Bill Thompson, owner of Fernandina Beach’s Amelia Island Culinary Academy, at cheffedup@folioweekly.com, for inspiration and to get Cheffed-Up!

CHEFFED-UP GROCERS’ COMMUNITY EARTH FARE

11901 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 250, Arlington

GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET 2007 Park St., Riverside

JACKSONVILLE FARMERS MARKET 1810 W. Beaver St., Westside

NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKETS

11030 Baymeadows Rd. 10000 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin 1585 N. Third St., Jax Beach

NASSAU HEALTH FOODS

833 T.J. Courson Rd., Fernandina

28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 12-18, 2018

PUBLIX MARKETS

1033 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine 2033 Riverside Ave. 4413 Town Ctr. Pkwy., Ste. 100

ROWE’S

1670 Wells Rd., Orange Park 8595 Beach Blvd., Southside

THE SAVORY MARKET

474380 S.R. 200, Fernandina

TERRY’S PRODUCE

Buccaneer Trail, Fernandina

WHOLE FOODS

10601 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin

Moon River Pizza

Brett’s Waterway Café

925 S. 14th Street 904-321-3400

Fernandina Harbor Marina at the foot of Centre Street 904-261-2660

Moon River Pizza treats customers like family.

Cooked in a brick oven, the pizza is custom-made by the slice (or, of course, by the pie). Set up like an Atlanta-style pizza joint, Moon River also offers an eclectic selection of wine and beer. Open for lunch and dinner Mon.-Sat. Dine in or take it with you.

Overlooking Fernandina Harbor Marina, Brett’s offers an upscale atmosphere with outstanding food. The extensive luncheon and dinner menus feature daily specials, fresh Florida seafood, chicken and aged beef. Cocktails, beer and wine.

Casual resort wear. Open at 11:30 a.m. daily.

The Mustard Seed Cafe 833 T.J. Courson Road 904-277-3141

T-Ray’s Burger Station

Inside Nassau Health Foods, The Mustard Seed is Amelia Island’s only organic eatery and juice bar, with an extensive, eclectic menu featuring vegetarian and vegan items. Daily specials include local seafood, free-range chicken and fresh organic produce. Salads, wraps, sandwiches and soups are available – all prepared with our staff’s impeccable style. Popular items are chicken or veggie quesadillas, grilled mahi, or salmon over mixed greens and tuna melt with Swiss cheese and tomato. Open for breakfast and lunch, 8 a.m.3 p.m. Mon.-Sat. nassauhealthfoods.net

202 S. Eighth Street 904-261-6310

T-Ray’s offers a variety of breakfast and lunch items. In addition to an outstanding breakfast menu, you’ll find some of the best burgers you’ve ever put in your mouth. The Burger Station offers a grilled portabello mushroom burger, grilled or fried chicken salad and much more. The spot where locals grab a bite and go! Now serving beer & wine. Open Mon.-Fri. 7 a.m.-2:30 p.m., Sat. 8 a.m.-1 p.m. Closed Sundays.

The Pointe Restaurant 98 S. Fletcher Avenue 904-277-4851

The Pointe, located at Elizabeth Pointe Lodge, is open to the public daily from 7 a.m.–10 a.m. for breakfast and 11:30 a.m.–2 p.m. for lunch.

Sunday brunch is served one Sunday each month from 11 a.m.–1:30 p.m. Oceanview indoor and outdoor seating is available. Please call the Inn to reserve a table or to enquire further about the restaurant.

Amelia Island is 13 miles of unspoiled beaches, quaint shops, antique treasures and superb dining in a 50-block historic district less than one hour north of Jacksonville DECEMBER 12-18, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29

FOLIO BEER

EIN PROST AUFS

LAST WEEK WE took a look at the Christmas beers of Belgium. This week we explore German and Austrian beers that will help you welcome the season. Both of these Germanspeaking countries have long, storied beer traditions. Germany has Oktoberfest; Austria is famous for its Viennese pilsner (which, by the way, is making a roaring comeback after falling out of favor with Austrian drinkers).

From the southern reaches of Bavaria, where Munich is situated and Oktoberfest reigns, to the North Sea coast, beer is a way of life in Germany. But, when the holiday approaches, the Bundesrepublik becomes a winter wonderland of Christmas markets, snowcovered villages with festive decorations on every building. Germans wash all this holiday cheer down with special winter beers brewed specifically for the cold winter months.

Krug-Bräu has been brewing beer in Waischenfeld, Germany since 1834, and it remains a small, family owned brewery. But, from this modest facility comes truly remarkable selection of beers, including a winter release: KrugBräu Weihnachtsbier or Christmas beer. Like most beer in Germany, it’s a lager made with just four ingredients— water, malt, hops and yeast—in accordance with the Reinheitsgebot (the German Purity Law). After brewing, the beer is lagered, or aged, for four weeks before public consumption. This amber bock has aromas of toffee and spicy hops. It tastes moderately sweet and malty but is fullbodied, with 6.8 percent ABV. Another favorite winter brew comes from Munich’s famous Hofbräuhaus, founded

429 years ago by Duke Wilhelm V of Bavaria. Wilhelm’s brewing empire took off when, 13 years after its founding, his Hofbräuhaus secured the rights to brew wheat beer. The ducal brewery has since changed hands, eventually becoming a royal brewery and ultimately a national brewery. Along the way to the modern era, it introduced Hofbräu Winterzwickl, a dark, malty beer with hints of dark chocolate, cherries and Christmas spices and a slightly bitter finish.

Schloss Eggenberg is home to one of Austria’s oldest breweries. The site has been occupied since the first millennium, and beer has been brewed there since the 14th century. It wasn’t until 1681, however, that anyone outside the castle got to taste it. That’s when the brewery was bought and officially opened for business. It changed hands again in 1803, when Johann Georg Forstinger took over and made a family business out of the ol’ Schloss. After surviving two major fires and two World Wars, its brewing tradition remains alive and well.

Eggenberg’s seminal Christmas beer, Samichlaus, is brewed only once a year, on December 6. (Readers of last week’s column will recall that’s St. Nicholas Day across much of Europe.) The lager once held the record for the world’s strongest beer, with 14 percent ABV. Samichlaus is a sipper, not a slammer. It pours reddish brown with a sweet aroma, hints of caramel and chocolate and complex flavors of prunes, malt and caramel.

Winter beers in Bavaria and Austria are strong, dark and sweet brews that will keep you warm and jolly through the holiday season. Seek them out, and toast your good fortune.

Marc Wisdom marc@folioweekly.com

WEIHNACHTSBIER! Or, a toast to CHRISTMAS BEER

PINT-SIZED BREWERS’ COMMUNITY

30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 12-18, 2018

AARDWOLF BREWING COMPANY 1461 Hendricks Ave., San Marco

ENGINE 15 BREWING CO. DOWNTOWN 633 Myrtle Ave. N., Jacksonville

RUBY BEACH BREWING 131 First Ave N., Jax Beach

AMELIA TAVERN RESTAURANT & BREWPUB 318 Centre St., Fernandina Beach

ENGINE 15 BREWING CO. 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217, Jax Beach

RIVER CITY BREWING COMPANY 835 Museum Cir., Southbank

ANCIENT CITY BREWING 3420 Agricultural Ctr. Dr., St. Augustine

FISHWEIR BREWING CO. 1183 Edgewood Ave. S., Jacksonville

ANHEUSER-BUSCH 1100 Ellis Rd. N., Northside

GREEN ROOM BREWING, LLC 228 Third St. N., Jax Beach

ATLANTIC BEACH BREWING COMPANY 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 3, Atlantic Beach

HYPERION BREWING COMPANY 1740 Main St. N., Springfield

BEARDED BUFFALO BREWING COMPANY 1012 King St., Downtown

INTUITION ALE WORKS 929 E. Bay St., Downtown

BOG BREWING COMPANY 218 W. King St., St. Augustine

MAIN & SIX BREWING COMPANY 1636 Main St. N., Northside

BOLD CITY BREWERY 2670 Rosselle St., Ste. 7, Riverside

OLD COAST ALES 300 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine

BOLD CITY DOWNTOWN 109 E. Bay St., Jacksonville

PINGLEHEAD BREWING COMPANY 12 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park

BOTTLENOSE BREWING 9700 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, Southside

RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD & GRILL 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach

DOG ROSE BREWING CO. 77 Bridge St., St. Augustine

REVE BREWING 1229 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach

SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY 9735 Gate Pkwy., Southside S J BREWING CO. 463646 S.R. 200, Ste. 13, Yulee SOUTHERN SWELLS BREWING CO. 1312 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach TABULA RASA BREWING 2385 Corbett St., Northside VETERANS UNITED CRAFT BREWERY 8999 Western Way, Ste. 104, Southside WICKED BARLEY BREWING COMPANY 4100 Baymeadows Rd.

DECEMBER 12-18, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31

PETS FOLIO LIVING

LOCAL PET EVENTS & ADOPTABLES

DAVI

PIZZA, PINTS & PUPS • This dog-friendly event features pizza by Pie95 Pizza & Catering, beer by main & Six and the first-ever pet food truck from Pet Wants Jax Beach, 5-9 p.m. Friday, Dec. 14 at Main & Six Brewing Company, 1636 Main St., Jacksonville, 374-4750. A special release of a brew is featured.

Bring a bag of dog and/or cat food, or buy some onsite, to donate to the Jacksonville Humane Society.

WHAT A PET

WANTS

ADOPTABLES

KING JAMES

HOLIDAY SHOPPING for furry friends

I HAVE STUFF. I DON’T MEAN TO. IN FACT, I’M A minimalist at heart, though you’d never guess it by my overflowing toy chest.

Having too much stuff-stuff can get in the way of all the good stuff, and I have other, more important things to do than take care of all my stuff.

So when it comes to holiday gifts, I like to keep it simple. Spend time with family, take in the smell of freshly baked treats, and watch A Charlie Brown Christmas after lighting the Hanukkah menorah.

I don’t believe pets or people need oodles of presents to feel loved. That’s why I like the tradition of giving four gifts: a want, a need, somewhere to go and something to feed.

It’s quite simple. Instead of giving a pile of presents, think outside the box.

SOMETHING THEY WANT

They’re the gifts pups would put on their lists if they knew how to write. I have a strong feeling they’ll appreciate anything that squeaks, bounces and keeps them busy. Chew toys provide durable fun that outlasts even the most persistent canines’ destructive powers.

Give your dog a challenge during the holidays and beyond—put an interactive toy on his wish list.

SOMETHING THEY NEED

The holidays are the pawfect time to get your pup exactly what he needs. Maybe a new bed? Some of the best gifts are ones to make your dog feel comfy all year. How about the gift of safety? Snap on a snazzy new collar to ensure proper identification.

To make your pooch’s stocking the best, fill it with delicious, healthy treats.

SOMEWHERE TO GO

Want to make meaningful holiday memories without breaking the bank? A joy ride is a dog’s ideal gift, as long as you follow some basic safety guidelines. You don’t have to have a destination in mind, but you can make it a road trip if you want to really connect. Or go on an extra-long walk and see where it takes you. You can explore a new area together, and your pooch will appreciate the different smells.

SOMETHING TO FEED

’Tis the season for giving back to those in need by grabbing something extra at the grocery store. Animal shelters and rescues are always in need of dog and cat food, cleaning products and warm blankets. Just swing by and drop off a bag in exchange for a bear hug and loving paw of gratitude.

Even though some of you might think I don’t want anything special for Hanukkah, and you could be right, I intend to participate fully and joyfully in giving and receiving gifts this holiday season. After all, less is not nothing.

Gestures don’t need to have a hefty price tag to feel meaningful. If you stick to the four-gift rule, you will not only reduce excess things, you’ll help everyone appreciate the gifts they do receive while enjoying the true reason for the season.

Don’t forget, the best gift of all is time— and that has no price tag.

Davi mail@folioweekly.com ___________________________________

NOT THAT KING JAMES • But I do have a regal presence. I am a full-grown fella who will rule your heart when we’re a family! I’m two years old, young enough to play, old enough to obey. Drop in for a visit with me at Jacksonville Humane Society, 8464 Beach Blvd., Southside, open daily!

UGLY SWEATER PAWTY • The inaugural dog-friendly event features live music by D-Lo, Pizza Brigade food truck, Santa Paws presented by the Jay Fund, prize wheel and treats, prizes for best-dressed dogs and humans and a photo booth. It’s held 6-9 p.m. Monday, Dec. 17, at Kanine Social, 580 College St., Riverside, 712-6363. Admission is free for Kanine Social members, $15 dog day pass for nonmembers; $5 of each pass benefits the Tom Coughlin Jay Fund.

LOVE ME TRUE RESCUE • The new facility provides a home for kittens and cats before they find a forever home. Adoptions are held every Saturday, 11 a.m.3 p.m. at 5150 Palm Valley Rd., Ste. 403, Ponte Vedra, lovemetruerescue.com. They’re looking for adult volunteers, too, so do a mitzvah and sign up. Email lovemetruerescue@gmail.com.

ADOPTABLE ADOPTABLES

SIMBA

Davi the Dachshund can spin a dreidel with the best of them. Happy Holidays!

PET TIP: BEWARE HOLIDAY DANGER! HERE ARE A FEW CAUTIONARY NOTES, SOME YOU KNOW, SOME YOU DON’T. No people food for pets. Tell guests about this; they mean well but …

No treats. At least, none with grapes/raisins, onions, chocolate or xylitol.

Keep pets away from candles, decorated trees and potpourri. Both dogs and cats like ornaments, flickering candlelight and aromatic potpourri. Do not leave them alone in a room with this stuff.

No holiday plants. Festive plants like mistletoe, holly, poinsettia and lilies can be anywhere from mildly toxic to deadly. Just keep an eye on your pets around plants.

Ditch the tinsel. Cats can’t resist the shiny sparkle of tinsel trimming the tree. So much so, in fact, they might climb in the tree to get to it. Yikes.

Tie the tree down. Or at least secure it so that if a dog bumps into it or the cat climbs (see above), it won’t be a disaster.

Keep calm and carry on. A crate, kennel or another room are better spots for pets to be during the excitement.

32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 12-18, 2018

I’M ROYALTY, TOO! • I’m as blue-blooded as that kid in The Lion King, but I’m ready to be all yours now! I’m three years old, just the kind of cat you’ve been dreaming to know. I’m accepting audiences right now at Jax Humane Society, 8464 Beach Blvd., Southside, and see if we fall in love! We’re open every day, so you have no excuses.

NASSAU COUNTY ANIMAL SERVICES ADOPT A PET • There are oodles of dogs and cats waiting for a nice, warm, clean, happy home. Viewing hours are Tue.-Fri., 11 a.m.-4 p.m.; Sat., 11 a.m.-3 p.m., 86078 License Rd., Fernandina, 530-6150, nassaucountyfl.com.

Downloadable application has details and fees.

NEWS OF THE WEIRD SEEMS LIKE AN HONEST MISTAKE John

Stevenson of Inverclyde, Scotland, hit a bump in his plans for a U.S. vacation on Dec. 3 when his visa was denied after he declared himself a terrorist while filling out a Department of Homeland Security online form commonly known as ESTA. One of the questions on the form asks, “Are you a terrorist?” Stevenson, 70, told The Independent the website “must have jumped from No to Yes without me knowing,” adding that the site kept timing out and crashing as he and his wife, Marion, tried to answer the questions. “I even called the border control in the U.S. and gave them my passport details,” he said. “They looked up my ESTA number and said, ‘You’re a terrorist.’ The only time I’ve been in court was for jury service.

Marion is sick about it. ... I don’t know why that question is on the form in the first place.”

United Airlines refunded the Stevensons’ airline tickets and gifted them two free flights to New York once their visa troubles are all worked out.

address and a mug shot from a previous crime that matched an image in the surveillance video, to track down Brian Lamonte Clark, 22, and arrest him for robbery with a dangerous weapon and conspiracy to commit robbery.

SHEESH Lucardo Escape Rooms in

Manchester, England, were the site of a misguided break-in on Nov. 29 when two thieves ransacked a fake bank vault as if it were real. The Manchester Evening News reported more than 50 surveillance cameras captured the duo’s antics as they broke into fake safes and opened drawers that held only puzzles. “They must be Manchester’s stupidest burglars,” said Lucardo director Ian Pownall.

The business lost about 100 pounds in cash, but damage was about 1,000 pounds, plus lost revenue while they clean up. “We’re a small, family-owned business, so even a couple of thousand pounds will have an effect on us, particularly before Christmas,” Pownall said.

ARMED AND CLUMSY A shopper at a Buckeye,

Arizona, Walmart was in the meat department on Nov. 27 when his semiautomatic handgun, which he had positioned for a quick draw in the waistband of his sweatpants, began to slip.

As he tried to reposition it, he told Buckeye police, it discharged, striking the gunslinger in his privacies. AZCentral reported the unnamed shopper was taken to the hospital with minor injuries, and no one else was hurt.

However, police did file a charge of unlawful discharge of a firearm.

GOVERNMENT IN ACTION Yoshitaka Sakurada, 68, a 22-year member of Japan’s parliament, was named by Prime Minister Shinzo Abe in October to two new posts: cybersecurity and Olympics minister. According to Reuters, at a Nov. 14 committee meeting, a member of the opposition asked Sakurada about his computer literacy. He admitted: “I’ve never used a computer! ... I’ve always directed my staff and secretaries to do that kind of thing.”

He assured them there would be no problems.

Okaaay.

LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS Three men

SCROOGED An unnamed substitute teacher

hit an electronics retail store in North Raleigh, North Carolina, on Nov. 12. The News & Observer reported a store employee called 911 to report the men had entered the store with semi-automatic weapons and ordered workers into the stockroom. One of them had a cardboard box, officers learned, into which he loaded mobile phones and smart watches.

They filled two crates with stuff, totaling more than $26,000. When they left through the back door, they took the crates, but forgot the cardboard box which, serendipitously, had a shipping label with an address. Police used the

in Montville, New Jersey, won’t be returning to Cedar Hill School after revealing a sacred secret to first-grade students there on Nov. 29.

Superintendent Rene Rovtar told NJ.com that the sub got into a debate with a student about whether Santa is real. That’s when the sixyear-olds started quizzing her about the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy and Elf on a Shelf, and the teacher “proceeded to debunk all of it,” Rovtar said. Parents reported doing “damage control” after the kids returned home from school, and the sub is no longer welcome in the district. weirdnewstips@amuniversal.com

DECEMBER 12-18, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33

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FOLIO WEEKLY CROSSWORD 1

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31 “Guilty” and “not guilty” 32 Gambling mecca 33 Pledged 34 UF frat letter 35 Schmooze 36 “My treat!”

37 Flight part 38 Owned once 39 Add to 10 ___ colada 11 Overly fussy 12 Plans to (Jax Sheriff start) 16 Like Gate River Run winner Simeon Kigen 21 Lousy

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65 Ocean Blue Apartments payment 67 Austen novel 68 Canada’s largest city 70 “___ the ramparts...”

72 Big name in little candies 73 Heave-hos 74 UNF sr.’s test (School Superintendent start) 75 NOLA-to-Jax dir.

(School Superintendent end) 76 Paleo- opposite 77 No-win situation 78 Snake sound 79 Bouncers’ requests

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34 Indochine soup 37 38 Special: “___ Loves to Talk” 10 Pussy foot 13 Statute (US Rep. start) 14 Heir (US Rep. end) 15 Modest two-piece swimsuit 17 Green: Prefix 18 Computer inits.

19 Gland type 20 50+ org.

22 Classic pop 24 Entirely 25 NASCAR fueler 27 Comics detective 29 NASA circle 31 “Okay to proceed?”

35 Scarlett of Tara 38 Mayberry kid 40 Wine valley 41 Confound 42 Bend (Council prez start) 44 Guy (Council prez end) 46 Las Vegas’ ___ Grand 47 Give off 49 Office promise 51 Sectors 53 Revolt 55 Heart line 57 Audit entry 59 Skateboarder’s trick 63 Sulk

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23 URL starter 26 The ___ Trap (restaurant) 28 Cruising the Atlantic 30 2015 TaxSlayer Bowl team 32 Hobbling 33 Daytona Beachbased links grp.

34 Alpo rival (Jax Sheriff end) 35 Done (Tax Collector start) 36 It means “half” 37 Pole-to-pole connection 39 Texter’s qualifier 43 Klutz’s remark 45 2017 hurricane

48 Oolong server 50 London gallery 52 Horizons tuna request 54 Early web forum 56 Critics, often 58 Jagged 60 New College of Florida dorms designer 61 Revise 62 Kills time 63 Pouty look 64 “In that range” 66 Yule quaffs 68 Weight (Tax Collector end) 69 Uni- + bi71 Hi-___ monitor

SOLUTION TO 12.5.18 PUZZLE O M N I

N E A R

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L U E D U T T A R E D S E A P D U N E T A S I N W M D C A N A I I A L N E S S A A H S A S K I D E S A N A L O G M S L E

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GIVING THE GIFT

HERE WE GO AGAIN, WITH a second round of holiday gift ideas for the cannabisseurs in your life (or simply for yourself, if you’re feeling selfish). At this point, it’s a bit late to rely on mail order—and, frankly, with all the recent stories about porch thieves, delivery truck mishaps and Amazon robots spraying their employees with bear mace (which, granted, is a pretty good way to keep wages under control, though it’s kind of a sop to the Medicare-for-all crowd), it may be in everyone’s best interests to just purchase the items in-store.

Thankfully, shoppers in Northeast Florida have no shortage of options. Between the classic smokeshops and new-school dispensaries, your cup (or your bowl) runneth over with local retailers at your disposal.

(Some of them might even be advertising on this very page or nearby. Thanks for your support, by the way. Keep it coming!)

To start, you can always go to Chamblin Bookmine and buy one of a flood of books on the subject. I recommend the Peter McWilliams classic Ain’t Nobody’s Business If You Do: The Absurdity of Consensual Crimes in a Free Society, or Jack Herer’s legendary The Emperor Wears No Clothes, which helped more than anything else to set the decriminalization process in motion. And how! Decriminalization initiatives enjoy unprecedented and unstoppable momentum heading into the 2020 election cycle (which has already begun—no rest for the wicked, and even less for the good).

Here are a few ideas from my friend Sil Kaelin, proprietor of San Jose green emporium Hydroponic Unique Goods. HUGS is a great place not only for your edibles, emollients and whatnot, but also—as the name suggests—hydroponic paraphernalia. There’s a special emphasis here on the agricultural component, for those whose thumbs are as green as their tongues.

“We have some great ideas and savings on CBD Beauty Anti-Aging Bundle for the holidays,” Kaelin says. “Also, some unique gift ideas would include Colorado Hemp Honey and CBD Tea, Colorado Strava Craft CBD Coffee and a bag of edibles like gummies, hard candy, gum, chocolate or mints.

On the gardening side, we have a start grow kit that includes a tent, lights, carbon filter and fans, or a single bucket hydroponic system, or a starter kit of bottles of nutrients such as Advance Nutrients, General Hydroponics and Foxfarm.”

We’ll give the last word, again, to Miss Ellie K (who is herself a gift to advocates of medical marijuana; after all, the YouTube sensation has performed the oh-so-difficult work of sorting through an intimidating array of products, skimming the cream of that crop for her viewers, as well as you, the reader).

“Another device your giftee will love,” says Ellie, “is the Pax ERA device, if you or your giftee are a medical marijuana card holder here in Florida. The new age cannabis oil vape device can be purchased straight from the PAX manufacturer, but to get THC or CBD pods for this product legally, you’ll need to go to the Florida Medical Marijuana dispensary called Liberty Health Sciences who boast several dispensary locations throughout Florida as well as offering free next day delivery statewide.”

In a pinch, I also suggest buying the deluxe DVD of Reefer Madness, just to remind folks how far we’ve come on this subject.

Shelton Hull mail@folioweekly.com ___________________________________ Do you have questions about medical marijuana?

Let us answer them for you. Send your inquiries to mail@folioweekly.com.

OF GREEN PART DEUX More seasonal treats for the WEED-LOVERS in your life

DECEMBER 12-18, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35

Folio Weekly helps you connect with that dreamboat you saw in the produce aisle or the hot hunk by the lifeguard stand. Go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html, fill out the FREE form correctly (40 words or fewer, dammit) by 5 p.m. THURSDAY for the next Wednesday’s FW. And who knows? Even the losers get lucky sometimes!

Hey folks! With the holidays closing in fast, are ya hearing the hollowness of your singularity echoing through your very being? Do you yearn for someone to kiss beneath a branch of a parasitic plant hung up on a door jamb at a WaWa? Do you envision someone in matching PJ’s ripping through exquisitely wrapped boxes full of terrific items you’ve been coveting? Use FW’s handy ISUs to find love!

It’s Christmas all over again … as you-know-who & the you-know-who-all sang at The White House, no less, in 2000, when national leaders were national and leaders … but that’s a discussion for another time.

Go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html and take these easy steps: One: Write a brief headline so the person recalls the moment you met, like: “ISU choosing gift wrap.”

Two: Describe the person, like, “You: Amid stacks and rolls of shiny, glittery paper.”

Three: Describe yourself, like, “Me: Trying to extricate myself from a large tangle of ribbons and bows, mostly green and red and gold.”

Four: Describe the moment, like, “I overcame my foil and tape phobias and you handed me a copy of the 1984 classic ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas?’”

Five: Send a 40-WORD message to that special unknown quantity. No names, emails, websites, etc. Find love with our ISUs at folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html!

AFC EAST HAIL MARY You: Pretty ponytail through your Bills hat; passionate about your team. Me: Mind racing under Jets hat when you appeared. We talked for a minute before you left with friends. Our teams suck, but we wouldn’t. When: Oct. 14.

Where: Hoptinger, Jax Beach. #1713-1107 RED HAIR MONSTER HOOTS You: Dancing; one of the twins fell out your top -) Me: Accordion player, tripped on mic cord, hit my head! Awoke from coma, thought of you! I’ll be at the Pot Sunday, boogie-ready. Be there. When: July 4, 1998. Where: Crab Pot. #1712-1024 I WONDER U Saturday thrift-store shopping. U said u liked my shirt and showed me your ankle tattoo. Very symbolic meeting. Wish we’d talked a little more. Let’s trade bootlegs. Acknowledge me. When: Sept. 22. Where: Betty Griffin Center Thrift Shoppe, St. Augustine. #1711-1003 HARVARD AVE. UBER RIDER You: Tall, attractive student advisor. Me: Drove you from friend’s house. Thanks for $10 tip. I liked our conversations along the way; key things in common. Talk again? If you feel the same, please respond. When: Sept. 8. Where: Riverside. #1710-0919 GOLDEN CORRAL SAN JOSE You: Dining solo, booth behind us, blonde hair/beard, gorgeous blue eyes, blue shirt, jeans, white van. Me: With mom, son; brunette, Jags shirt, black shorts, black car. Let’s meet. Single? Coffee? When: Aug. 18. Where: Golden Corral. #1709-0829

36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 12-18, 2018

HAWAIIAN SHIRT, GIN & TONIC Outside bar.

You said my drink looked good. Me: “Only drink worth bootlegging.” You: Sharp, white slacks, heels, blue blouse; late friends. Wish they’d stood you up; we would’ve had fun. Try again?

When: July 18. Where: PV Pussers. #1706-0725 SUN-RAY FRONT LINE You: Cool couple. Man, button-up. Woman, hip glasses, platforms. Us: Tall brunette, floral dress. Man, average height, white button-up. In chaotic Hearts Beat Loud crowd. Bonded over Sun-Ray’s beauty. Dig your vibe; meet again? When: July 8. Where: Sun-Ray Cinema. #1705-0711 FIREHOUSE “O” You: Silver shorts, black hat, orange nails. Me: Camo hat, brown T-shirt.

Wanted to talk; you left. Thought of you rest of day. Make it every day? When: 12:30 p.m. June 21. Where: 5 Points Firehouse Subs. #1704-0627 BLACK 4-DOOR CADILLAC You watched me putting a shot back into the back of my car. You stopped and had your flashers on and I was too shy to stop. I wish I had. When: June 13. Where: Home Depot Lane Ave. #1703-0620

ISU

SANDY TOES & A ROSE Connex Made You: Mocked my princess-wedding dreams, then strode over sand, rose in hand. Young men admired your moxie. Me: Sure you’re a romantic. Hard to surf the pier’s 1-2’ without longboard. Hang yours in my garage? When: May 21. Where: Jax Beach Pier. #1702-0620

PETITE BRUNETTE ON BICYCLE You: Bicycling.

Me: Driving. I stopped, asked for directions. You seemed shy but friendly. Coffee at Bold Bean?

When: Aug. 7. Where: Avondale. #1708-0822

EASTER SUNDAY: THIS IS SILLY You: Serving, tall, tattoos, beautiful eyes; sweeping close by on purpose? Me: Dirty blonde, striped dress, dark lipstick, lunch, parents. Eyes met. Should’ve left my number. Can I sit in your section next time?

When: April 1. Where: Black Sheep. #1701-0606

SOUTHERN GROUNDS BLEND You: Pretty lady, khaki shorts, print top, recommended dark roast coffee. Me: Blue shirt, jean shorts. Single?

Would’ve liked to chat, but with yoga friends.

Namaste! When: July 29. Where: San Marco Southern Grounds. #1707-0808

ROYAL AUSSIE AIR FORCE Dreamboat RAAF sharing vegan chia pudding with pal. Your flight suit hunkiness make me speechless. We shared a table; I blushed a lot, too shy to say hi; I am now! Meet for pudding? When: May 23. Where: Southern Roots Filling Station. #1700-0530

FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

SPIDER-MAN, SELENA GOMEZ, GOLDILOCKS, ULYSSES & ELVIS

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In 1930, some British mystery writers formed a club to give each other artistic support and conviviality. They swore an oath to write their stories so that solving crimes happened solely through the wits of their fictional detectives, and not through “Divine Revelation, Feminine Intuition, Mumbo Jumbo, Jiggery-Pokery, or Act of God.” I don’t endorse that for your use in the coming weeks. On the contrary.

I hope you’ll be on the alert and receptive to Divine Revelations, Feminine Intuition, Mumbo Jumbo, Jiggery-Pokery and Acts of God.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Among the pieces of jewelry worn by superstar Elvis Presley were a Christian cross and a Star of David. “I don’t want to miss out on heaven due to a technicality,” he testified. In that spirit, and in accordance with astrological omens, I urge you to cover all your bases in the next few weeks. Honor your important influences. Be extra nice to everyone who might have something to offer in the future. Show your appreciation for those who’ve helped make you who you are. Be as open-minded, welcoming and multicultural as possible.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): When you’re prescribed antibiotic pills to fight infection, you should finish the entire round. If you stop taking the meds partway through because you feel better, you might enable a stronger version of the original infector to get in your system. This lesson provides an apt metaphor for a process you’re now undergoing. As you seek to purge a certain unhelpful presence in your life, you must follow through to the end. Don’t get lax halfway through. Keep on cleansing and shedding unwanted influence.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Are you a gambling addict seeking power over your addiction? If you live in Michigan or Illinois, you can blacklist yourself from all casinos.

Any time your resolve wanes and you wander into a casino, you can be arrested and fined for trespassing.

Consider a comparable approach as you work to free yourself from a bad habit or debilitating obsession.

Enlist help in enforcing your desire to refrain. Create an obstruction to interfere with your ability to act on negative impulses.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Danish scientist and poet Piet Hein wrote a melancholy meditation: “Losing one glove is painful, but nothing compared to the pain of losing one, throwing away the other, and finding the first one again.” Let his words serve as a helpful warning to you. If you lose one of your gloves, don’t immediately get rid of the second. Rather, be patient and await the eventual reappearance of the first. The same principle applies to other things that might temporarily go missing.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “What is the point of being alive if you don’t at least try to do something remarkable?” author John Green asked. I’m not comfortable with it.

It’s pushy. I’m more likely to do remarkable things if I’m not trying too hard. Still, I offer it as one of your key themes for 2019. You’ll be naturally inclined to do remarkable things and without pressure. Up the ante on your desire to be fully yourself, dream up new ways to give your most important gifts, explore how you can express your soul’s code with vigor and rigor.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Cancerian author Elizabeth Gilbert is a soulful observer whose prose entertains and illuminates. She’s well aware of her limitations, though. For example, she writes, “Every few years, I think, ‘Maybe now I’m finally smart enough or sophisticated enough to understand Ulysses. So I pick it up and try it again. And by page 10, as always, I’m like, ‘What the hell?’” Gilbert is referring to the renowned 20th-century novel, James Joyce’s masterwork. She can’t appreciate it. Make her your inspirational role model in the weeks ahead. It’s a good time to acknowledge and accept that there are good influences and interesting things you’ll never be able to benefit from.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In the fairy tale “Goldilocks and the Three Bears,” the heroine rejects the options that are too puny and too excessive. She wisely decides just enough is exactly right. I think she’s a good role model for you. After your time of feeling deprived, it would be understandable if you were tempted to crave too much and grab too much. It would be understandable, yes, but mistaken. For now, just enough is exactly right.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): More than three centuries ago, Dutch immigrants in New York ate the dessert olykoek, or oily cake: sugar-sweetened dough deep-fried in pig fat, the forerunner of the modern doughnut. One problem with the delectable snack was that the center wasn’t always fully cooked. In 1847, Hanson Gregory found a solution. Using a pepper shaker, he punched a hole in the middle of the dough, thus launching the shape that has endured. You’re at a comparable turning point. If all goes according to cosmic plan, you will discover a key innovation that makes a good thing even better.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I’m going to quote pop star Selena Gomez. According to my analysis of the current astrological omens, her simple, homespun advice may be helpful in the weeks ahead. “Never look back,” she says. “If Cinderella had looked back and picked up the shoe, she wouldn’t have found her prince.” I’m not saying you’ll experience an adventure akin to the fairy tale.

But you will benefit from a “loss” as long as you’re focused on what’s ahead rather than what’s behind.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In 1140, two dynasties were at war in Weinsberg, now southern Germany. Conrad III, Hohenstaufen dynasty leader, laid siege to the castle there, headquarters of rival Welfs dynasty. Things went badly for the Welfs; just before Conrad launched a final attack, they surrendered. With a touch of mercy, Conrad agreed to allow the women to flee in safety along with whatever possessions they could carry.

The women had an ingenious response. They lifted their husbands onto their backs and hauled them to freedom. Conrad tolerated the trick, saying he’d stand by his promise. There’s a metaphorically similar event for you. Not a life-or-death situation, but original thinking can lead you and yours to greater freedom.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The National Center for Biotechnology Information reported on a 15-year-old boy who thought he could be superhero. First he arranged to get bitten by spiders in the hope of acquiring the powers of Spider-Man. Didn’t work. Next, he injected mercury into his skin, thinking it may give him talents like Marvel Comics mutant Mercury. As you strategize to build your power and clout in 2019, don’t resort to questionable methods like those. Your intuition should steadily guide you, providing precise information on how to proceed. And it all starts now.

Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com DECEMBER 12-18, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37

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Tallahassee, Florida. Dated at Jacksonville, Florida, this 12 day of December, 2018.

PENIS ENLARGEMENT PUMP. Get Stronger & Harder Erections Immediately. Gain 1 to 3 Inches

Kevin E Harris Jr

ANNOUNCEMENTS This notice is to inform the community that the Florida Institute for Reproductive Medicine’s office located at 1577 Roberts Drive, Suite 220 in Jacksonville Beach, Florida is closing December 28, 2018.

The patient records will still be available at our 836 Prudential Drive, Suite 902, Jacksonville, Florida 32207 location.

All our other Jacksonville, Florida sites will still be Open Monday through Friday to assist patients with their Reproductive/ Infertility concerns. Our office phone number is 904-399-5620.

38 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 12-18, 2018

FOLIO VOICES : BACKPAGE EDITORIAL

ONE CITY:

ONE JACKSONVILLE TO BE or NOT TO BE?

ONE CITY: ONE JACKSONVILLE IS A GREAT SAYING FOR a political campaign; but it is not the truth!

Jacksonville is a city significantly divided by race, class and political affiliation.

In 2015, Lenny Curry defeated Alvin Brown and took over the mayor’s office.

His campaign slogan was “One City: One Jacksonville.”

Jacksonville is, in fact, “a tale of two cities.” One is a big sleepy Southern town with a legacy of racism. The other one is a growing and thriving metropolis attempting to redefine itself for the challenges presented by the 21st century.

STOP THE VIOLENCE AND INCREASE THE PEACE

I earnestly desire and pray that the leaders of my home town are approaching this critical issue with candor, confidence and a sincere commitment. I will work with any group that has a desire to stop the violence and increase the peace. I will not be a part of anyone’s dogand-pony show or political smoke-screen!

These are the essentials for making the city’s anti-violence initiatives work: strong leadership, positive attitudes, effective partnerships, honest dialogue and consistent funding. The final necessary ingredient in this recipe is a group of city officials who will work together to develop solutions and who will not simply kick this issue around like a football to advance their own political agenda.

It will take teamwork to make this dream work!

PUBLIC SAFETY AND VIOLENCE

The major issues that will define the city’s image to its residents and also to the rest of the world are public safety and violence.

Back during the 2015 mayoral campaign, violent crime was up, and Mr. Curry promised to fix it.

“This will be a safe city again,” Curry said.

After three years in office, Mr. Curry has

increased police budgets by millions of dollars and hired another 147 cops. Unfortunately, the body count in the streets continues to rise just as fast as JSO’s budget. The crimefighting plan designed and implemented by Mayor Curry and Sheriff Mike Williams has been an epic failure.

The murder and violent crime rates in Duval County are still the highest of any large city in Florida.

RACIAL ECONOMIC DISPARITIES

To reduce violence, we must begin to eradicate racial, geographic and economic disparities. We must create policies and programs that address underlying issues like the disproportionate poverty and unemployment.

We should focus our primary efforts on ZIP codes 32206 and 32209. These geographic locations, with their distinct and apparent racially demographic markers, should be Ground Zero for our economic redevelopment efforts and this is why: 1. 17,000 people live in ZIP code 32206 on the Eastside a. 79.3 percent are black. b. The poverty rate 38.9 percent. c. The unemployment rate is 11.4 percent.

2. 39,653 people live in ZIP code 32209 a. 98 percent are black. b. The poverty rate is 40.3 percent. c. The unemployment rate is 11.9 percent.

Social, racial and economic injustices are intricately interwoven into our present reality. We are all angered by an upsurge in gun violence that is taking place in broad daylight. An honest assessment is that even in 2018 racial division and discrimination is still stifling the city’s social and economic growth.

It’s all connected.

The city’s white body politic still refuses to expose, acknowledge and address this infamous connection. However, even despite the apathy, we all know these are the underlying issues that should be addressed.

Here’s the big question: How do we make a change?

The Northside Coalition is pushing the city to implement elements of its 10-point plan for gun violence reduction with all deliberate speed! This is by no means a magic wand but it is a viable data-driven plan that represents a new approach and new ideas.

NORTHSIDE COALITION’S 10-POINT PLAN FOR GUN VIOLENCE REDUCTION

1. Holding a town hall meeting to allow residents to question elected officials about any anti-violence and public safety plans being developed. (City officials have agreed.) The purpose of these two noticed meetings would be to open lines of communication, build trust and tear down walls between residents and elected officials.

2. Closing the gun-show loophole to cut off the availability of guns to people who should not have them. Private gun sales should be documented, and buyers should have to undergo background checks.

3. Creating a multimillion-dollar major plan of social and economic redevelopment. This would include improved delivery of various public services, education, health and the arts.

Major input and funding from the public and private sectors will be needed to fund these ideas.

4. Input from experts in the fields of education, health, music and the arts would be helpful.

5. Targeting disadvantaged areas like ZIP codes 32206 and 32209 which have high poverty rates and double-digit unemployment rates.

6. Implementing a massive job training and job creation element would be a key component. Working with various businesses, community colleges, nonprofits, universities would be necessary.

7. Developing and implementing conflict resolution training by professionals in schools and on the streets. Working with counselors in the public and private sector would be a part of this effort.

8. Expanding and supporting minority businesses should also be a priority.

9. Providing more accountability and transparency in the criminal justice system and at JSO. Review policies, practices and procedures to eliminate racial bias at JSO to enhance trust with the black community.

10. THE CURE VIOLENCE PROGRAM: The city is considering implementation of the Cure Violence program. We believe it will save lives and that the city should move to implement it. And city leaders should make sure that enough money is committed from the outset to fully sustain at least the first five years of the program’s existence (about $4 million). Cure Violence is guided by clear understandings that violence is a health issue. NCOJ believes community and strategic partnerships will be the key to the success of this initiative. For this effort to work, all the stakeholders, each of us, will have to work together like we never have before! Individuals and communities can change for the better. I believe we can restore hope in our city, our communities and our people. Those who say it can’t be done are usually surpassed by those who are doing it!

Ben Frazier mail@folioweekly.com _____________________________________ Frazier is the founder of the Northside Coalition of Jacksonville.

FOLIO WEEKLY welcomes Backpage submissions. They should be 1,200 words or fewer and on a topic of local interest and/or concern. Send submissions to mail@folioweekly.com. Opinions expressed on the Backpage are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Folio Weekly.

DECEMBER 12-18, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39