Folio Vol.36, Issue 10

2022

5.18

P. 26 SHAPING LOCAL Vincent Dalessio

ENROLLED ature 2022 Legisl

sed 1st Engros SB 1078, for CS for CS for CS

20221078er conservation and water for the ng to soil providing , F.S.; An act relati s. 582.15 and water amending ed soil districts; n propos ment of of certai the Depart n subdivision requiring ide certai 4 districts; es to subdiv conservation er Servic cts; 5 and Consum vation distri of Agriculture water conser 6 supervisors soil and ing the requir proposed , F.S.; to be 7 s. 582.18 district amending conservation isions; 8 and water ct’s subdiv each soil of the distri of 9 from each of office elected l terms ision; 10 the initia subdiv for ct distri providing n in each 11 elected qualificatio providing ing candidates , F.S.; the govern 12 s. 582.19 serve on amending isors to ct; 13 for superv vation distri requirements ation water conser 14 ied affirm a soil and a specif body of to submit 5, F.S.; 15 candidates ng s. 582.19 requiring ying; creati annually 16 of qualif gs at least at the time public meetin 17 conservation mandatory water ing and requir for of soil 18 providing supervisors 5, F.S.; for the s. 582.29 19 water creating soil and districts; ution of ions; 20 tic dissol n condit the automa under certai and 21 districts of the assets conservation transfer ment; 22 for the to the depart providing districts ied 23 of such from specif liabilities dissolutions 24 and Water automatic Baker Soil exempting the Water and 25 dissolving Martin Soil provisions; and the and 26 District the assets Conservation transferring ment; 27 District; to the depart Conservation districts 28 of those liabilities 29 ons.

7 are additi Page 1 of underlined ons; words en are deleti Words strick CODING:

1

2

3

P. 14 THE GREATEST RADIO STATION Rain Henderson

P. 21 A WORD FROM TY WILLIAMS Vincent Dalessio

P. 32 RIGGING THE SYSTEM Kale Boucher

2

INSIDE...

6 Horoscopes

VOL. 36, ISSUE 10

TERESA SPENCER general manager

Kale Boucher 7 Folio Weed: In Through The Out Door Nikki Fried works the room

ROB NICHOLSON sales director CASEY ALIXANDRA account executive/contributor

Shelton Hull 11 Folio Sports Jazz Bond is first ever UNF basketball player drafted Clayton Tinkle 12 May Film Review Harry Moore 14 Jacksonville’s Newest, Greatest Radio Station The minds behind Jacksonville's new music discovery station, The Independent 89.9 HD4 Rain Henderson 15 In This Climate?! Saltwater Intrusion Joseph Guiffre

MOLLY BRITT account executive/contributor RAIN HENDERSON creative director VINCENT DALESSIO staff writer/photo SHELTON HULL contributor KALE BOUCHER contributor HARRY MOORE contributor LILY SNOWDEN intern OMAR AFTAB intern JAY MAFELA intern JOHN M. PHILLIPS, ESQ. publisher

21 A Word from Ty Williams Prolific multi-media artist, Ty Williams,

KERRY SPECKMAN copy editor/writer

finds inspiration from the many coastlines he travels Vincent Dalessio

JOSEPH GUIFFRE contributor

26 Shaping Local

JAKE FARIBANKS contributor

Northeast Florida’s pleasantly consistent surf produces some top tier surfers, but who produces their boards?

CLAYTON TINKLE contributor

Vincent Dalessio 30 New Kid on the Block Tiffany Nieves joins the River City Wrestling Con Shelton Hull 32 If at First You Don’t Succeed, Rig the System How scorned developers rid the state of conservation efforts Kale Boucher

Behind the cover: Sweat, foam. Sean Piper mowing foam in his workshop shot by Vincent Dalessio.

4

THE

MAIL

"Mickey Mouse should flee from Florida. If necessary, the California crew of Mouseketeers will move every last piece of Disney World (including Epcot Center) back home from Orlando to California in the dead of night, just like the Mayflower movers surreptitiously relocated the NFL’s Colts franchise from Baltimore to Indianapolis back in 1984.

Except no one will feel sorry for FL. If you keep Ron DeathSantis in office, Florida, we Californians will be taking Disney back ASAP." -Jacob Pickering

BRICKBATS + BOUQUETS BOUQUET to Dennis Chan chef/owner of Blue Bamboo Canton Bistro in Mandarin, has been named the 2022 Florida Small Business Person of the Year. The long-time restaurateur, who opened Blue Bamboo on Southside Boulevard in 2005 before relocating in last year, also authored an award-winning cookbook, Hip Asian Comfort Food, and won the grand prize in General Mills National Neighborhood to Nation contest for his Sunshine State Orange Crunch Cake in 2018. Chan was recognized along with other state winners by the Small Business Administration earlier this month.

BOUQUET to Volunteers in Medicine Jacksonville Just in time for President Biden’s establishment of National Mental Health Month in May, Volunteers in Medicine Jacksonville announced it has expanded its mental health services from two days a week to six.

The free clinic, located downtown, provides services to the working uninsured through active and retired physicians, nurse practitioners, registered nurses, and specialists, who volunteer their time and expertise. The expansion was made possible by a grant from The Jim Moran Foundation.

BRICKBAT to Senior Prankers

Ponte Vedra High School made

international news for all the wrong reasons this month when five students hung a giant, gutted bull shark over a staircase in a highly visible spot on campus as a “senior prank.” According to news reports, the students didn’t kill the shark but got it from a stranger at the beach. (So. Many. Questions.) That doesn’t, however, take away from the cruelty, disrespect and general bizarreness of hanging the carcass, especially since the school’s mascot is a shark. The incident is under investigation by the St. Johns County School District, Florida Wildlife Commission and local law enforcement. Is #floridateen the new #floridaman?

5

HOROSCOPES

BY KALE BOUCHER Taurus

Pisces

Happy birthday! No bull, a major relationship change may be headed

Your interpersonal relationships will be rocky, but your relationship with

your way. It’ll leave you with more wiggle room, but don’t fill that

yourself will be solid. So, focus internally. Avoid any conflict or serious

space with any major spending. If you’re wanting some retail related

conversations until you feel your foot leave your mouth.

serotonin, use the birthday money Grammy sent you. Save your own

Aries

cash for next month.

The universe is going to start bombarding you with possibility. Hone in on

Gemini

what opportunities you desire to avoid any distraction or hesitation. Loss of

Slow motion redirection. We’re talking three-point turn at a snail’s

focus may lead to you missing out on something you have been manifesting.

pace. You’re ready to make some moves toward a new goal, but be aware of any shifts in your environment that could cause a collision.

Cancer You’re doing great, sweetie! Make sure to share your successes!

Your accomplishments will attract people who are in a similar place, and together you’ll achieve so much more.

Leo To your excitement, you have total encouragement to put your needs first right now. Be mindful of all the groups you find yourself engaged with. You may want to shift who you consider your mains and secondaries.

Virgo You’ve got your perfect little checklist, and you want everything completed according to plan. Sorry, hun, life is messy. Remember to breathe and recognize any hiccups as an opportunity for improvement. If you always have your way, you’ll miss out on the detours that make growth possible.

Libra Passion and meaningful connection have you making a lot of headway in the more invisible areas of life. Make sure to stay grounded and get your responsibilities completed. With them out of the way, you’ll be able to take full advantage of the healing energy you’ve got going on.

Scorpio

M Y L A G O S M Y W AY

You’re molting. (Scorpions do that; don’t worry, I looked it up).

Shedding beliefs that others instilled in you for your own. It’s your season of who am I and what am I doing? Achieve integrity by shifting your behavioral patterns to match your values.

Sagittarius And so it begins, a new era of life. Make the conscious choice now: what will be the cornerstone of this chapter? A business, a relationship, a new power suit?

Capricorn A slow down in your work life means self-care, softness and emphasis on the home. Write a list of the little things that make you happy and make a conscious effort to work them into your month.

Aquarius Your ability to scheme is at its peak right now. You can use your strategic vision to exact your work goals or absolutely annihilate at game night. Choose wisely.

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C AV I A R CO L L E C T I O N S

CONTRIBUTOR: SHELTON HULL

IN THROUGH THE OUT DOOR Nikki Fried works the room

Democratic darling Nikki Fried flew into Jacksonville on a Sunday morning

Primary season is all about money and messaging. While all the

and spoke to exactly 28 people, and it was the smartest political play

candidates are courting the big donors and attention-grabbing

anyone made that weekend. She breezed in through the side entrance

endorsements from what passes for power brokers in this era, Fried

of the Hyatt Regency Downtown just after 11 a.m., flanked only by a single

is targeting an underserved and woefully neglected segment of the

staffer, having driven there straight from the airport after campaigning

Democratic base: rank-and-file activists of the sort that she once was

downstate the day before. Like Chris Partlow, she gets there early.

herself. In her remarks, she insisted the national party do a better job of funding their down-ballot campaigns and making sure that their activists

Inside, the Florida Young Democrats amassed in a third-floor conference

are better coordinated to reduce redundancy and increase efficiency:

room for day two of their convention, and I was the only journalist there.

more resources, better utilized. That message appeals greatly to younger

Her exploits as agriculture commissioner have figured prominently in this

Dems whose personal experience with the party has generally involved

column since its inception, and a formal sit was in order, now that she’s

losing races they should have won, most recently in 2018. In that case,

running for governor. I predicted this, three years ago—but, of course,

the national party failed to capitalize on the uniquely transformative

everyone did. What no one could predict, however, was the way in which

opportunity presented by Andrew Gillum, and the frustration literally

the universe practically conspired to create this moment for her.

almost killed him.

No one could have expected for a random outbreak of an obscure

Fried presents the party with a chance to capture lightning in a bottle,

disease to be handled so poorly by our government (and others) that it

twice. They will need that energy to win an election guaranteed to be

became one of the greatest public health crises in living memory or that

an exercise in brute force and stamina. It’s an open secret that almost

a governor elected by the slimmest margin in history would basically melt

every policy and public utterance of the incumbent has been calculated

down in public, wrecking his credibility so thoroughly that his only option

specifically to set cold hearts aflame within the Republican base. If

was to give himself over entirely to the darkest impulse of our nature,

DeSantis isn’t out bullying children or trying to gaslight Nobel Prize

creating a situation where the entire nation, if not indeed the world, is

winners, he’s pushing through one of the most ruthlessly reactionary

deeply invested in the outcome of this governor’s race. Nor could one

right-wing legislative agendas this side of Longshanks. He’s got an

have expected for the entire Democratic gubernatorial field of 2018 to

interesting way of selling this stuff: hate-speech and gobbledygook, a

all be basically finished in politics by this point.

perpetual joylessness that makes flowers wilt and babies instinctively cry.

Fried’s competitors, Charlie Crist and Annette Taddeo, had already

By contrast, Nikki Fried is genuinely pleasant, although her contempt

spoken to the Young Dems on Saturday, leaving Fried to close things

for DeSantis defies any pretense of kayfabe. To answer a question that

out herself, leaving a final impression before their straw poll was taken

many readers have asked, she does come off much better and more

about an hour later. She won, by a slim margin, but not enough to score

charismatic in person than on video. What she may lack in polish, she

an official endorsement. That’s hardly unexpected, though, because

makes up for with personality. She actually seems like fun, which is so

this year’s governor’s race is not only the most important in Florida’s

rare these days.

history, but it’s also arguably the centerpiece of what is already a highlycompetitive midterm election cycle, with hard feelings on all sides and stakes that are positively stratospheric.

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INTERN: OMAR AFTAB

CONTRIBUTOR: MOLLY BRITT

WATERING HOLES TO REMEMBER It’s a nice summer day, and you’re looking to grab a drink but don’t want to visit the same bar you go to every week? I get it and I’ve got

THE LAST 10 NIGHTS OF RAMADAN Throughout the month of Ramadan, Muslims fast, aim to do good deeds and try their best to return to their roots and religion as much as possible. However, even within the month itself, the last 10 nights are an extremely special time. One of these nights, in the Islamic tradition, is said to be Laylat-ul-Qadr, the night of destiny. During this night,

the list for you!

everyone’s destiny for the year is decided upon. Furthermore, the night is said to be

VooSwar Restaurant and Lounge

Muslims spend the last 10 nights “searching” for the night of destiny and spending their

Built by hand in 1963 by owner Earnest Davis, this Atlantic Beach staple was made to be a place to welcome African-American sailors who felt cast out from other places in the surrounding area during the time of segregation. It has become a lively and lit up bar welcoming all who want to visit, keeping with Davis’ original ideals. The bar boasts large, colorful murals, a full menu and bar, and pool tables. Looking to dance the night away to live music on a dance floor under disco

worth 1,000 months, or roughly 83 years, in terms of good deeds. Therefore, many nights in worship, prayer and remembrance.

Due to these beliefs, a specific tradition arose known as I’tikaf. During I’tikaf, Muslims make a vow to stay in a mosque and avoid outside interactions with the world as much as possible. This year was the second I’tikaf of my life. Though cut short by the flu, I still had the pleasure to spend six days living in the mosque, and during this time was able to increase my knowledge of Islam, meet countless other Muslims, and truly participate and observe the unique interactions and connections that make up the Muslim community in Jacksonville.

The Muslims of Jacksonville are an extremely diverse group. Among the hundreds

balls? VooSwar is where you need to be.

who come to the mosque during Ramadan, you can find diversity is hard to find almost

Boat Drinks

Bangladesh, Syria, Jordan, Iraq, Turkey, Colombia, Guyana and many other countries

This nautical, tropical-styled restaurant and bar offers fresh seafood and one of the largest rum collections in Northeast Florida. Opened right before COVID-19 hit, the St. Augustine tavern is a fan favorite for their signature frozen cocktails and raw oysters. The menu is littered with recipes gathered from the owners’ travels to the Caribbean and the Gulf Coast. Make sure to visit for a fun atmosphere

anywhere else with individuals from Senegal, Sudan, Ivory Coast, Pakistan, India, all uniting under a single belief. In these 10 ten nights, there is a unique familial air where everyone is especially kind, willing to give their time and effort to help each other, and constantly prepare for a nice long conversation full of reflection, wisdom and laughs.

This isn’t the case everywhere. Having grown up in Michigan in an area with an extremely large Muslim population, I know not all communities are this warm, welcoming and tight-knit. That’s why I’m so certain that Jacksonville has something special. The Muslim community here loves each other in a way that is truly rare.

and great people.

I’m not sure where I’ll be one year from now. Maybe somewhere else in Florida or

Buchner’s Bierhalle

something I cherish and look forward to every year. Of course, I’tikaf, getting back to

If German food and beer is your go-to, check out Buchner’s. The German restaurant and bar with a speak-easy twist boasts an impressive list of beer and imported wine. Inspired by the owner’s great-grandfather from Germany, the menu offers all kinds of interesting drinks, small bites and appetizers. Yes, even the beloved German pretzel and bratwurst. Who isn’t a fan of a good charcuterie board? Stop in for some drinks and a board on your next ladies’ night, guys’ night, any night really; you won’t regret it.

another state or another country. Maybe I won’t be alive. But these 10 nights are my religion, and reentering myself is a major part in this. But the bonds of the community and the time spent with them are another big reason. Jacksonville and the Islamic Center of Northeast Florida (ICNEF) have a beautiful community with people from all over the world in which one can try other cultures’ foods, learn about their clothing, hear their languages spoken and get a feel for their people. No matter where I am next Ramadan, however, I know I’ll be thinking about the nights I’ve spent in ICNEF, surrounded by brothers who genuinely love each other, love their religion and are truly grateful for everything that has brought them to that moment.

Ramadan is now over, but I highly recommend that next Ramadan, everyone who can should try to visit ICNEF for at least one of the last 10 nights of the month. There’s free dinner at sunset, plenty of good company and lots of fun to be had. It’s a great opportunity to learn about the Muslim community of Jacksonville and experience a unique blend of cultures in one place.

8

Hello, my name is Dr. Rene Pulido

and I am a native of Jacksonville, Florida. I was born into a Cuban-Nicaraguan family and attended Assumption Catholic school and Bishop Kenny High School, where I played football. I spent my time off--eld helping my father at Pulido’s Automotive, which he co-established in 1965. My mother encouraged me to apply my mechanic skills to the human body, and after high school I went to med school and followed in the footsteps of my uncles Jesus and Alex, both of whom are local physicians.

After attending medical school in Costa Rica, I completed my residency at the Mayo Clinic here in Jacksonville. My experience at Mayo Clinic was very innuential in that it revealed to me what medicine can be through their multi-disciplinary teamwork approach to medicine. I carry that same philosophy to my practice today and have teams that specialize in Primary Care, Natural Medicine, Pain Management, Women’s Health, and Addiction medicine in our 25,000 square foot facility. We also have a pharmacy, in-house imaging, labs, and a vegan café on-site.

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CONTRIBUTOR: JAKE FAIRBANKS

WILL THE BEACHES BE SAFE THIS SUMMER? As we approach the summer of 2022, the numbers of attendees

base pay of lifeguards in Jacksonville sits at $13.67 an hour, this is

of the Northeast Florida beaches are steadily rising, coming off an

becoming less competitive in today’s hot job market combined with

unsteady two summers from the impact of COVID-19. The shark attack

recent inflation. Another Ocean Rescue employee stated, “inflation is

capital of the world, Florida, is also seeing a descending number of

impacting the number of guards applying to these jobs. The price of

new employees at your local Ocean Rescue agencies. In March of

everything is going up and lifeguarding pay it's not sufficient to make

2020, we’ve witnessed the closing of Duval county beaches in an

a living for most people. It is sad to see and its just a matter of time

effort to prevent the spread of the Corona Virus and practice social

before wages increase or prices become stagnant.”

distancing. Understandably, all Ocean Rescue agencies had to cancel or significantly limit their operations. Tyler Lead, a local beach rental

While Florida holds a reputation for dangerous currents and extreme

employee stated, “I trained for about 2 to 3 weeks and was bummed

summer beach crowds, it raises the question of whether or not

to be informed that we wouldn't be returning due to COVID-19. I had a

these Ocean Rescue jobs should be recognized by the city with

different job opportunity the following year that paid far better which

more importance. Another Ocean Rescue veteran stated, “I think it

turned me away from the lifeguard job, although it would have been

always has been an issue. The position isn't recognized with as much

a good experience.”

importance, people do realize lifeguards save lives and are needed at beaches, but the big picture is we are not recognized at that EMS level,

We turned to the veteran employees that have been working our

which we should be. I think if we did get that recognition, it would

beaches years before the 2019 COVID-19 to get their opinion on the

be play a huge factor in getting more people out here, receive better

shocking low numbers of new employees. A long time North Florida

funding and better pay for our officers of the Beaches.”

Ocean Rescue employee stated, “There are less guards due to the Corona Virus locking out the last 2 years, and its been difficult getting

Despite the low number of new employees, Northeast Florida lifeguard

recruitment to the beaches where our demographic of new employees

agencies are continuing to train and prepare during the month of May

is directed toward high school students. A lot of companies and jobs

for what’s expected to be the busiest summer since 2019.

have raised their base pay and that could play a factor. With pay being so competitive, they may not want to sit on the beach all day when they can work an easy shift at the grocery store.” While the average

Model: Marcus Mendoza 10

CONTRIBUTOR: CLAYTON TINKLE

Jazz Bond makes history, becomes first ever UNF basketball player drafted NFL Draft talk dominated the Bold City’s sports landscape for most of

the 24-win Bulls on their way to their third consecutive NCAA Tournament

the spring with the Jacksonville Jaguars holding the much anticipated

during the 2016-2017 season. As a freshman, Bond averaged seven

first overall pick.

minutes a game, tallying 142 minutes total.

On April 11, that all changed as University of North Florida senior forward

Ironically, USF opened the season in the USF Sun Dome with a drubbing

Jazz Bond swooped in to take over the headlines on the First Coast.

of the Ospreys, winning 78-42. Bond scored 3 points for the Bulls in the

Bond became the first player in the university’s history to be selected

contest.

in the WNBA Draft when she was picked in the third round, 31st overall, by the Dallas Wings.

Something had to change, and quickly, if Bond wanted to realize her dreams.

Bond is no stranger to being first. After transferring from the University of South Florida, the redshirt senior capped her illustrious four-year career

“When I transferred to North Florida it was me trying to find my love for

as an Osprey as the career leader in blocks. She also leads the program

the game again,” Bond told Borgeson. “That was a turning point for me.”

in points, rebounds and free throws made since the Ospreys became a

The rest is history, and it’s come full circle.

Division I program in 2009.

Jazz Bond was born for this. At least, that’s the way it seemed early on.

In an interview the day after the draft, Bond had this to say to UNF

She started playing basketball at 3 years old and began AAU play at the

assistant athletic director and host of UNF’s Talon Talk podcast Brock

age of 8 per her interview on Talon Talk.

Borgeson on being selected: “It’s just a lot of emotions … excitement, a little bit of nervousness. I’m just grateful for this opportunity.”

College basketball was on the horizon from an early age for Bond and was quite literally in her blood. Bond’s father, Albert Bond Jr., played for

Bond wasn’t the only selection from the Atlantic Sun Conference. Florida

the Tennessee State University Tigers basketball team during their only

Gulf Coast University’s Kierstan Bell was selected 11th overall by the Las

two appearances in the NCAA Tournament in 1993 and 1994.

Vegas Aces. Bond’s and Bell’s perseverance paid off in an ever-changing

Next stop: Dallas.

collegiate athletic environment, proving once again that professional level talent can be honed at mid-major universities.

When Bond joins the Wings for training camp, she will be among some WNBA greats. The list includes 2021 WNBA All-Star MVP Arike

Bond echoed this sentiment. “It didn’t matter what school I was at. At the

Ogunbowale and USA Olympic gold medalist Allisha Gray. The Wings

end of the day, I was dedicated to working hard every day in practice and

open their regular season May 7.

being successful on the floor,” she told Borgeson, “This goes for anybody, it doesn’t matter which school, whether it be a Power Five or a mid-major

Bond graduated from the University of North Florida with her bachelor’s

as long as you work hard and you’re dedicated to the game you can be

degree in Public Health. She is pursuing her master’s in public health.

successful in whatever you do, as long as you work hard.”

Borgeson also asked Bond about the moment she realized she was being drafted.

“During the whole draft my heart was pumping, pumping away … When my name was called, I was overwhelmed with joy!” Bond exclaimed in the interview.

The road for the 6 foot 4 inch versatile forward wasn’t always as easy as becoming arguably the best player in UNF history.

Bond and her teammates dominated the high school game in Murfreesboro, Tennessee at Blackman High School. Bond led Blackman to two Tennessee AAA State Championships. After garnering attention nationally, Bond was nominated as a McDonald’s All-American.

Her journey hit a speed bump after her commitment to the University of South Florida in Tampa. As a freshman, Bond appeared in 22 games for 11

CONTRIBUTOR: HARRY MOORE

MAY FILM REVIEW DOCTOR STRANGE IN THE MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS In what has become something of a tradition in Hollywood, Disney has kicked off the summer movie season with the latest release in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. This new entry follows the series’ resident magic wielding sorcerer Doctor Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch) as he tries to help a young, highly powerful superhuman named America Chavez (Xochitl Gomez) who is being hunted by a deadly force by The Scarlet Witch, a grief-stricken Wanda Maximoff (Elizabeth Olsen) corrupted by dark magic. Strange and America must travel to the other realities, as they adventure through the multiverse to escape Wanda’s clutches.

Following the events of 2021’s Spider-Man: No Way Home, not to mention several Disney+ series, the multiverse has been put on the table for Marvel to play with, opening the doors for an endless supply of characters from movies past, variants of ongoing characters and those from the other corners of the long history of Marvel comic books added to the cinematic toybox. Though the film does indulge in featuring cameos from various fan favorite characters, including Patrick Stewart’s repeatedly resurrected Professor X from the now defunct X-Men film franchise, as well as an appearance from one of the most iconic Marvel heroes who has yet to appear on screen in the MCU. The Multiverse of Madness, however, doesn’t live up to the many madcap possibilities that an endless multiverse would present, particularly in light of this year’s similarly themed, inventive and comparably fractionally budgeted, Everything Everywhere All at Once. Besides a brief montage early on that sees Strange and America tumbling through various worlds in the multiverse via a range of digital effects and even turns the two characters into comic book styled animations for a few moments, the scenes that take place in the other realities of the multiverse don’t feel drastically different from the world in which we’ve seen these usual Marvel stories take place.

Which isn’t to say that the film has no visual flair. Sam Raimi, the indie film legend behind the Evil Dead series and godfather of the modern superhero genre and spearheaded the Tobey Maguire lead Spider-Man films, took over the film’s reins when original director Scott Derrickson

12

stepped aside just as the behemoth project was entering production.

By hiring a director with the unique vision and instinct of Raimi, Marvel Studios appeared to quash their not entirely unearned reputation for diluting filmmakers’ personal approaches in favor of a house style. And for the first hour or so, the Marvel approach reigns supreme, but once the action kicks into high gear Raimi takes over with his own inimitable style, utilizing whip pans, rapid camera movements and an abundance of Evil Dead style ghouls and gore. And, blissfully, Raimi was allowed to give a cameo to his old friend and collaborator Bruce Campbell, even managing to squeeze in a reference to his Evil Dead character Ash Williams. Raimi creates some of the best and most frightening moments of horror to be seen in a superhero film since Doctor Octopus’ surgery massacre scene in his own Spider-Man 2, making some scenes perhaps a little too intense for a portion of Marvel’s audience.

While Raimi is able to bring a full rendition of his style to the film, the screenplay is underwhelming, feeling both meandering and convoluted.

It also relies on the old and outdated plot convention of a sad woman turning evil and crazy, which felt notably out of place for a franchise which has leaned into, or at least given air to, more progressive ideals.

It also pointedly unfair to a character like Wanda, who has gone through excessive levels of trauma and grief and also been largely used as a plot device in previous film outings, to come out the other side as vengeful and wicked, willing to murder scores of people in order to get what she wants. Elizabeth Olsen has done tremendous work in the role, doing her utmost to make a character who is often two- dimensionally written into a sympathetic and relatable individual, particularly after her work in WandaVision, the series that delved into her character in greater depth.

And here Olsen is once again terrific, making Wanda as the Scarlet Witch one of the most intimidating, and at times frightening, villains in all of the MCU. It just would have been nice if a little more care or modernization happened in the adaptation of this years-old comic book storyline.

Of all the leading actors in the Marvel Universe, Benedict Cumberbatch appears to have struggled the most at making his character feel as vital as many of the others. Notably, many of his best moments in the role came from his scenes opposite the integral Tony Stark, brought to life by the immediately beloved performance of Robert Downey Jr. While Cumberbatch has been saddled with a character who is not as endearing or charming on the page as some of his peers, he has struggled to make him as appealing on film as Downey Jr.’s Stark or Chris Hemsworth’s Thor, for instance. His accent work also continues to be a struggle, with his dialect sounding like it comes from no recognizable region of the U.S., making Strange feel even more alien than a mystic sorcerer would already be.

Overall, the film manages to clear the bar as a satisfying entry to the Marvel film series, far from the worst, but not approaching the best. It is just nice to see Sam Raimi back in the director’s chair after almost a decade away, with his style making it to the screen intact and unfiltered, even if it doesn’t reach the skyscraper heights of his industry changing Spider-Man films.

CONTRIBUTOR: CASEY ALIXANDRA

UNDER THE SEA Every other month my friends and I have a theme

“We thought of a theme and went above and beyond

party. With summer coming up, a theme related to the

for it,” said party co-host and mermaid for the night

ocean sounded like a perfect opportunity to have fun

Andrew Terry. “We want to enjoy this life, and we’re

while in the heat.

the type of friends to pitch in together and make memories. So ecstatic that the Bubble Truck is even

Driving into our neighborhood that night, no one

a thing here.”

would ever guess that one of these suburban homes was transformed into the bottom of the ocean.

No matter the season, creativity can shine and make

When walking in, instantly it felt like you entered an

the best memories. In this life, if you surround yourself

underwater disco ball.

with the right people, life goes swimmingly.

Surrounded by blue shimmers on every wall, the living room had colorful fishes swimming throughout their coral reefs on the television, while the ceiling had blue and green lights moving like waves.

Once guests started coming in, our ocean home now had marine life in every corner. That night we could say we had a squid sharing a drink with a hammerhead shark in the kitchen, a shrimp laughing with a clam in the hallway and other ocean creatures dancing in the living room. The only thing missing was bubbles.

Just when every exotic fish thought the night couldn’t get any more fun, Jacksonville’s Bubble Truck arrived at 11 p.m. Emily, the driver, was greeted by a mermaid with a thick red beard, but once everyone knew the truck had arrived, more underwater creatures approached.

“I have never seen anything like it,” said Emily. “I knew I was going to enjoy this night even more.”

With our already prepared ocean theme playlist, all our host had to do was turn on the bubble machine.

Within 10 seconds, a once normal driveway was filled with bubbles. For an hour, adults were children again, running, hiding and jumping out at friends. It was an experience everyone needs to have at least once.

Considering the hour, only late-night passersby would be able to tell their friends they saw a lobster, a jellyfish and a sea urchin dancing to Princess Ariel’s melody, “Part of Your World” in someone’s front yard.

“Being a shark in bubbles for a night… I’ll never forget that,” said Dylan Waters. Jacksonville’s Bubble Truck was the perfect addition to our ocean-themed night.

With many options to choose from, we chose the Glow Foam Bash so our costumes could glow in the bubbles.

CREATIVE DIRECTOR: RAIN HENDERSON

JACKSONVILLE'S NEWEST, GREATEST RADIO STATION The minds behind Jacksonville's new music discovery station, The Independent 89.9 HD4

Something important has happened! WJCT Public Media has unearthed Jacksonville’s new music discovery station, The Independent 89.9 HD4. You might be asking: radio, who still listens to that crap? And the answer is, a lot of people. Unfortunately, traditional radio stations are run like a cartel.

They’re fueled by corporate money, one big station generally rules the revenue and they play the same 20 songs (that aren’t even good) from 10 years ago, over and over and over again. The Independent is exactly what it sounds like—independent, championing artists generally ignored by commercial radio, breaking out of any genre-based restrictions, definitely not following corporate mandates and playing artists from right here in Jacksonville.

Paired with the site jaxmusic.org, where they consistently crank out curated playlists, reviews, profiles, music history, think-pieces and concert recommendations, they’ve created a non-profit, publicly supported music platform based in Jacksonville named The Jacksonville Music Experience (JME). The JME team is a pool of talented musicians, award-winning writers and cultural gurus including big names like Matt Shaw, David Luckin, Geexella, Glenn Michael Van Dyke, Mr. Al Pete, Daniel A. Brown, Toni Smailagic, Jose A. Cruz, Heather Schatz and a few others.

In hopes of building a community that supports its local artists and caters to curious music listeners, JME and The Independent 89.9 HD4 are the most exciting things that have happened to the Jacksonville music scene in a long time. With no algorithm to follow, I sat down with WJCT’s art and culture editor Matt Shaw and legendary radio host David Luckin to find out exactly why and how they made something so cool.

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So tell me how the Jacksonville Music

cover of a song that maybe you've heard 3,000

experiences shrink and that same music you

Experience (JME) came about and how The

times.

liked in your 20s is the music you like for the

Independent 89.9 HD4 plays a part in that?

rest of your life. For NPR, 35 is young. But that's

Matt Shaw: When I came on, the transition had

Are you making a specific playlist every day or

Jacksonville—if you looked at KCRW in L.A. it'd

already been made that 89.9 FM would go all

is it a library on shuffle?

be a much younger demographic.

news and talk 24 hours a day. But prior to that,

DL: We built a clock that a template is based off

David Luckin had been doing Electro Lounge

of. So the first three songs on the top of every

How are you getting new music for the station?

at night for 15 years, so music had been part of

hour are brand new or current. And we've got

DL: We have a company in New York called

WJCT for its whole history, 50 years. So the idea

a folder we call “Spice,” which is where Johnny

Co-sign, and they rep all the bands. So the

was there would still be music on the radio, but

Cash might appear. But [the playlist] always gets

bands bring them new music, they send it to us.

we wanted to enhance the music offerings of

touched before it goes out.

They’re one of many.

WJCT. Because all other news is being digitized,

MS: And we get to do stuff like that because

MS: I get 25 press releases a day that are either

I was brought on to build a website, a landing

we are independent. We don't have any sort of

from Pitch Perfect PR or a company called Shine

page for music editorial, and it was clear that

mandate. We can play The Clash’s version of

On, which is like Co-sign. If they know that you

we needed to have a radio experience for what

“Police and Thieves” and then Junior Murvin's

play a certain kind of music, they start sending

we're doing with JME in order to tap into the

version of “Police and Thieves.”

their stuff to you.

David Luckin: The genesis of the whole thing

What do you mean by “mandates”?

I know that you were talking about trading

started at a public radio program directors

DL: Most radio stations are given a corporate

libraries. Is that something they've worked

conference, where I hung out at KUTX [in Austin]

playlist because Clear Channel owns 300

long to collect in this way?

for a lot of it. They were a new indie station,

stations. “If you’re rock, here’s your playlist. If

DL: This thing [The Independent] was finally

and they had the Austin Music Experience. So I

you’re oldies, here’s your playlist.” But they only

coming out, but what we didn't have was a big

brought that back and said, that's a cool name.

play 250 songs.

fat library of indie music. So we reached out to

The whole idea, like Matt said, is the whole

MS: And all the stations play those same songs.

a station in Nashville and said we’ll trade you.

audience.

coverage for Jacksonville, a nice big umbrella.

You give me your 4,000 indie songs, and I'll give

MS: We've been filming the live performances

The Independent is an Adult Album Alternative

you 2,000 jazz, 2,000 chill out, 2,000 Christmas,

on our sound stage here, too, where we do

station. I have a funny quote from a 2018

2,000 country…because I have 10,000 songs

a similar thing to KEXP [in Seattle]. The band

NPR article written by Allyson McCabe that

downstairs. We're not going to air every song

plays live, and we have interview questions

described Adult Album Alternative stations as

they gave us, but at least they gave us a bit of a

in between. We're joining this thing called

“a different listening option for boomers tired

bed to build from.

NPR Live Sessions, which has 20 affiliate NPR

of hit-obsessed commercial radio.” She also

Sessions. All the stations do a similar thing and

called it the “Birkenstock format.” Is that how

Is there a way to get older music without

that stuff will then be shared with NPR Music’s

you would describe it?

asking another radio station?

national platform.

DL: I think everything said was pejorative. It's

MS: We're focusing on emerging artists but

the typical spiel of your Birkenstock-wearing,

there are established artists who are making

So the goal of JME to open people’s minds

Volvo-driving, latte-drinking f*ck head. They

new work, for example, Kurt Vile. His distributor

to new music, I read that Spotify’s “Discover

always lump us in that group; it doesn't matter

has been sending us his new music because he

Weekly” playlist was played 2.3 billion hours

how diverse we are here.

just put out a new album and I just asked them,

over the last five years, but I feel like it's like

how do I get Kurt's back catalog? And they just

a less authentic way of finding music. How do

You recently wrote an article “Is music getting

sent a download link.

you think someone who doesn’t work in the

old?” on jaxmusic.org referring to the fact that

business finds music?

older music accounts for about 70% of the

Do you have boxes that you check to deem

MS: I think there's probably a spectrum, but one

entire U.S. music market. Luckin said, “There’s

a song worthy of inclusion? Or is it more

of the problems that we're trying to solve with

no such thing as old music; it’s just music you

subjective?

this is that there are a lot of people who don't

haven’t heard. I think there’s a kind of comfort

DL: [Being] No.1 can't be the only criteria

know where to find new music, and they are

in the music of your youth. When people are

because if it's a crappy song at No. 1 it doesn't

who we’re catering to. Spotify is going to be our

young, they’re more likely to be interested in

matter. But if everyone else is listening to it and

biggest competition here because there's the

what’s new. When we’re older, we go back to

it's been on the top of the chart for eight weeks,

entire history of recorded music for $10 a month.

what’s familiar and warm.” What would you

it’s probably worth a play.

I think people are starting to find problems with

say is the youthful music listening age?

MS: He's talking about the North American

the algorithm, in that it plays you exactly, you.

MS: I think the music of your 20s is your biggest

College charts, all the AAA stations report

With this station I want to go outside of my

music discovery phase. That's when you're super

what's in heavy rotation to them and they give

personal listening tastes and just play stuff that

social, you're going to shows, you're around a

you a top 200. And we get that every week. And

is endearing for whatever reason. It could be a

diverse group of people who are turning you

so we can cross reference stuff. For example,

band that was influential or somebody doing a

on to new music and then eventually your life

Sasami I knew of because my friend Lena 15

[Simon] is friends with [her], so I knew of her

So pop music doesn't really have its own

Similar to how the term “pop” is very

record and had been listening to it. And then

sound?

convoluted, I feel like “indie” is also. What’s

two weeks after it came out, it was in the top 10,

MS: It’s depending on the era.

the idea behind the name The Independent?

and we already had it in rotation, so when we do

DL: Exactly. So in the 60s, we had all those girl

DL: We're The Independent because we play

see that everybody else is playing it, it gives us

pop groups playing on mainstream radio, and

whatever we want. We’re not the indie.

motivation or a reason to put it on twice a day.

most people find it accessible and acceptable.

MS: Indie is another one of those things that's

MS: Michael Stipe of REM would tell people in

just been overused to the point where it is

What are your thoughts on local music? Is

interviews “we're a pop band.” You listen to REM

devoid of meaning in a certain regard. But I really

there a city that you wish Jacksonville was

and they're all over the place. They were trying

latched onto the term “independent” because it

like?

to make music for mainstream consumption.

goes back to the roots of the word to begin with,

MS: I mean, there's a lot of cities I'd like

which is early ’80s to early ’90s music culture in

Jacksonville to be like, but we don't yet really

Speaking of genres, Electro Lounge was

cities across the United States. You had bands

have a great ecosystem for supporting artists

known as “music without walls” and now The

who were making music that had no chance of

who are making work here. If you look at Atlanta,

Independent has been dubbed “unrestrained

ever getting on the radio. Black Flag and Minor

which is the closest city I can think of that has a

by any genre.” I am obsessed with the

Threat and Dinosaur Jr. and Hüsker Dü and

really similar history with a really vibrant hip hop

specificity of genres now, like math rock or

all these bands who were called independent

culture similar to Jacksonville, they do a great

pirate metal or bedroom pop. Do you believe

because they were independent of a major

job of cultivating artists. I don't know exactly

all artists can fit into a specific genre? Or

record label. They started their own damn

how they do it, but they have radio stations that

what’s the purpose of genres?

labels. They made their own zines. Thurston

will play local artists. So if you're somebody in

DL: It's interesting what you're saying. I think the

Moore [of Sonic Youth] had his own zine, and

Atlanta making worthwhile hip hop, you can get

real music lovers or the bands who really like

he would interview Ian McKay [of Minor Threat

your song on the radio. And Jacksonville hasn't

all kinds of music are genre-defying, don't you?

and Fugazi], who had his own zine and Dischord

had that before. And I think it's a part of this

Records in D.C. It was these communities, siloed

music ecosystem that we're trying to support

I guess I’m referring to writing about music.

small, tiny music communities that found larger

and hold up with things that we're doing and

MS: That’s who dictates it…but you're trying to

communities in other cities by just being into

offer a platform to local artists. There's a few

communicate music, which is already a form of

weird independent music and independent

dozen artists I can think of in Jacksonville that

communication in itself. And so you're trying

music culture and sharing.

if they lived in another city, they would be

to speak about something that's written in a

played on the radio. And as far as models like

different language and you're trying to translate

So The Independent is referencing DIY not the

Nashville's NPR station and Philadelphia's NPR

that into a language to an audience of readers.

genre?

station, they are very similar in that they don't

And so music writers, music journalists, get

MS: DIY is a better word for it, but I don't think

have a local music program. They don't have an

inventive with what they want to say about

you can call a station DIY. But I think zooming

hour where they’re just going to play local stuff,

a band. And it depends on person to person

out, it fits the mission of what we wanted to do

but they have local music in rotation.

and even within a band, so it's a conversation

when we started this thing to begin with. There

DL: We took the extra step to say around 20

between the artist and the audience that

was no other place for this in Jacksonville, and

minutes after hour we're playing local bands.

happens. And then as a music journalist, you're

so we might as well just do it ourselves.

sort of an intermediary between those two. And

DL: For us, our music has been as important as

so you're trying to translate things as an expert.

our news, and it will continue to be. We take it

I read that a lot of the management looking to AAA radio stations are in search of crossovers,

very seriously.

mostly into pop. Do you think bands are

Who's coming up with all the genres, the

catering to this or just get bored with their old

bands or the music writers?

stuff?

MS: It's happened both ways, but usually it's

MS: I don't know. I think that people are coming

the writers. The etymology of genre words is

from different points of view when they do make

really funny. The term “grunge” was first used

that transition. If you're trying to make a career

to describe this band called Mudhoney. It was

out of being an artist and at a certain point

used by music journalists in Seattle who called

you've saturated anybody who will listen to you

their sound “grunge,” but it wasn’t used as a

at that point, you start to be ambitious.

new genre of music. They just called them a grunge rock band, and it stuck. So then it was

When they're saying “pop” what are they

just the label for white guys with flannel shirts

talking about? “Pop sound” or “popular”?

and greasy hair.

MS: The definition of “pop” is “popular,” originally, yeah. But pop music in the ’40s was show tunes.

16

STREAMING EVERYWHERE

SCAN HERE or visit JAXMUSIC.ORG for more info

135 W Monroe Street Jacksonville, FL 32202 | www.JamesWeldonJohnsonPark.org

Discover new music from emerging & established artists working in rock, hip-hop, R&B, jazz, electronic, modern global & more.

17

18

PROTECTING OUR COMMUNITIES

TOGETHER REPORT HATE CRIMES

1-800-CALL-FBI tips.fbi.gov 19

CONTRIBUTOR: JOSEPH GUIFFRE

SALTWATER INTRUSION How often do you think about the depth of the St. Johns River? Probably

The disappearance of seagrass is happening all over the state due to

not on a regular basis but the question has been on the minds of many

fertilizer runoff, algae blooms and an uptick in people treading on the

of the people in charge of the City of Jacksonville for a very long time.

delicate plants.

JaxPort is one of the most important economic centers in Northeast

Saltwater intrusion is also a threat to the people who live on banks of

Florida, bringing vast amounts of cargo through the mouth of the St.

the St. Johns River. As the saltwater moves deeper into the river system,

Johns River and on to the highways leading out of the city, making

freshwater trees like bald cypress will no longer be able to survive and

Jacksonville a logistical center of the entire country. As it turns out,

will eventually die off, an effect that is already being observed as far

the logistics business is competitive, and Jacksonville is desperate to

south as Julington Creek. The cypress trees play an important role in

compete with other ports in the region like Savannah and Charleston.

preventing erosion along the river banks: Their roots hold the soil on

What business leaders say Jacksonville needs to do to keep up has a

the shore in place, and their massive trunks slow down waves that eat

lot to do with the depth of our river.

away at the ground underneath bulkheads and eventually make their way onto residents’ properties.

City leaders called upon the Army Corps of Engineers to take on the task of dredging the St. Johns River between Mayport and the Dames Point

Studies commissioned by the Army Corps of Engineers also show

Bridge. The culmination of over a decade of planning, the $484 million

flooding will increase throughout the lower basin of the St. Johns River

project, expected to be completed this month, will enable JaxPort to

after the dredging is complete. Floods will have greater strength due

allow super-sized cargo ships to arrive from all over the world via the

to the increased flow of saltwater into the St. Johns and the widening

Panama Canal. For many, its completion would appear to be a huge win

of the channel. Added to the already high waters experienced during

for the city, and in many ways, it is, but not everyone agrees. The St.

hurricanes and powerful storms, the dredging could put millions of dollars

Johns Riverkeeper has been at the forefront of fighting this dredging

of property and possibly thousands of people in harm's way.

project for years, even filing suit against the Army Corps of Engineers to put a halt to the project in 2017, an effort that did not succeed. The cost

There are some solutions being offered by environmental advocates

of deepening the St. Johns River isn’t just in dollars and cents: It could

like the St. Johns Riverkeeper and organizations calling for better green

cost a whole lot more than that.

infrastructure like Groundwork Jax. The Riverkeeper, for example, has demanded a plan be initiated to decommission the Rodman Dam (which

Among the many environmental concerns raised by the Riverkeeper was

blocks the Ocklawaha River from entering the St. Johns) in exchange

the change in saltwater boundary in the river, also known as saltwater

for dropping any continued lawsuits against the deepening of the port.

intrusion. The salinity of the river dictates everything from what kind

Allowing the Ocklawaha to flow freely will pour hundreds of millions

of animals live in the water to what kind of plants grow on the shores.

of gallons of freshwater into the St. Johns River system, pushing back

Historical records indicate the point of change from saltwater to

against the rising tide of saltwater. Groundwork Jax is working toward the

freshwater in the river in the 1950s was near the current day Acosta

restoration of urban wetland areas like McCoys Creek and Hogans Creek,

Bridge; now it is thought be somewhere in between the Buckman Bridge

giving stormwater runoff and future flood waters somewhere to overflow.

in Mandarin and the Shands Bridge in Green Cove Springs, nearly 50

Both of those proposals are in the early stages of being completed.

miles from the mouth of the river. One of the major species that will be impacted by the change is the Florida manatee that grazes on the

The St. Johns River’s beauty and function are strong currents that tie

submerged aquatic vegetation, or seagrass, that only grows in freshwater

our city together, and it is worthwhile to take a moment to consider the

environments. Once a safe haven for manatees, the St. Johns River will

depths of those waters and how we are changing them.

continue to lose critical areas of seagrass farther and farther upstream.

Photo by Gunner Hughes

Pr o l i fi c m u l t i - m e d i a a r t i s t , Ty W i l l i ams , f i nds i ns pi r ati on f r om the many coas tl i nes he tr av e ls. Williams' p lay fu lly sub l i m e a r t w o r k h a s b e e n u s e d b y b ig name- br ands l i ke Goog l e, Patag oni a, I ndoek, Banks Jou rn al an d Nike bu t th e f r a n t i c a r t i s t pr e f e r s t o w o rk wher ever he f i nds hi m s el f, among s t the hur r i cane of in k an d p ain t.

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most imp ortan t asp e ct of y ou r

wh at ha ve you bee n

wh o's carry in g wh o ou t of the bar?

you 'd de fi ni te ly s u rf ag ai n

wh at ar e some tip s y ou wou ld giv e t o p e o p le lo o k in g t o make mo r e

h ow do y ou st ay so

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an y u pcomin g proj ects you' re

trav el in g has on you a nd y our work

JUNETEENTH IN JACKSONVILLE Saturday, June 18, 2022 Juneteenth Freedom Walk

10:00 AM to 11:00 AM

10th Annual Juneteenth in Jacksonville Miss Juneteenth Scholarship Pageant

11:00 AM to 5:00 PM

6:30 PM – 9:00 PM

Children Books ● Information ● Services ● Healthcare ● Music ● Entertainment ● Workshops ● Authors

Juneteenth Father’s Day Family Reunion BBQ/Cookout A. Philip Randolph Regional Park 1049 A. Philip Randolph Blvd Sunday, June 19, 2022 11:00 AM to 6:00 PM

Juneteenth Jazz at JWJ Park 135 W. Monroe Street June 20, 2022 11:00 AM to 6:00 PM

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STAFF WRITER: VINCENT DALESSIO

SHAPING LOCAL These photos may be black and white, but finding your next magic surfboard is not.

There are more surfers today than ever before, but the distance between surfers’ hands and boardmakers has only increased with the influx. Surf industry tycoons used this boom as an opportunity to exploit and taint the supply chain. The result? Lineups everywhere are littered with low quality boards produced abroad in factories by non-surfer labor. It's a shame seeing these absolute turds floating in the water next to boards masterfully crafted by local shapers, whose jobs are put in jeopardy due to uneducated buyers and poorly made, high-quantity shipments of boards outsourced to cheaper labor.

For the most part today, the sale of a board is directly correlated with the board’s presence in surf media. For example, back in 2014, Haydenshapes dropped the “best surfboard of the year” called the Hypto Krypto, featuring hip looking technology (leave the black rails to the Black Beauty, please) and marketed toward the everyday surfer for “every condition.” The board was a sensationalized hit and ended up being the most purchased board in the world in 2015/2016, largely in part to professional surfer Craig Anderson riding a 5’4” Hypto in pumping Indonesian swell, 10- to 12-foot Kanduis to be exact. In all honesty, it still stands as one of the most fucked up things I’ve seen done on a surfboard. Photos of the wave ended up on the covers of magazines, the clip of the wave has hundreds of thousands of views on each repost and still pops up on suggested social media pages for me some seven years later. With demand through the roof, Haydenshapes moved production to Thailand.

The thing about it, though, is the Hypto Krypto was one of the worst boards I’ve ever paddled out on in my life. Why? Well, I’m not Craig, and a majority of the time I'm surfing waist-high mush burgers at The Poles.

Surfboards are vessels for self education. Surfboards are subjective. I hate to break it to you, but there is no “best surfboard in the world,” no board to make you the next Kelly Slater or give you the courage to paddle out in pumping, double-overhead Indonesian swell. This is not a one-board-fits-all scenario; the board making me want to scratch into five more waves after land life consciousness kicks back in might leave you yawning in the parking lot and vice versa.

The purpose of this piece is to introduce you to a few shapers worth letting take the wheel on what board you should buy next. Local shapers know best. Period.

The two featured here, I feel, have been making a positive impact on the surfing community through their vision and who’s riding their boards but most importantly through the boards coming out of their shops. Surfer/ shaper relationships have been the backbone of the surf industry, but these days the relationships take on a much different look.

Despite summer time being the slowest season for surfing in North Florida, it's also the time when lineups are the most crowded, often due to new surfers looking to try surfing for the first time. New surfers means new boards, and this season I want new board buyers to be educated on why they should shop local, rather than grabbing a used, imported pop-out off Craigslist. Leave that Hypto on the shelf, where it should stay.

There is a certain earned knowledge that comes with being a local shaper. Working with local surfers, and surfing the breaks around the area gives shapers detailed insight into what makes a board work well in Northeast Florida swell conditions. Someone on the other side of the U.S. might not have even seen what waves we surf here, whereas local shapers are in the trenches every day.

“Performance always comes first for me. It's got to function. Like when I know someone's bought a board and they're telling me they're gonna hang it on the wall, sometimes I just want to give them their money back.

It's got to function first. But I can't do that,” explained Tony Lannorone of Clean Ocean Surfboards (COS).

COS boards stand out in the lineup like no others. Perfectly balanced outlines and sexy curves coupled with pristine glassing is what you can expect when you snag your board from the factory. Lannorone has made a name for himself in the East Coast longboard community for having some of the logs around and some of the best surfers riding them, like Trent Phillips and Austin Strecker, both riding a Chingona here.

Lannorone has been shaping boards since he was 13 years old but started taking it as a career in 1989; he shaped his 10,000th board a few years ago and shapes hundreds of boards each year. He draws much of his inspiration from early ’70s and ’80s classic board design and the boards he would come across when he was a kid. His expertise runs deep and talking with him is like sitting next to a fountain of surf knowledge, but my favorite thing about him is his views on mentoring the next generation of shapers.

When Lannorone first started shaping surfboards, the only real way to learn was through trial and error on your own or by watching and learning from an experienced shaper. Today, YouTube, websites and all sorts of

Top left: Sean Piper of Piper Surfboards Top right: Tony Lannorone of Clean Ocean Surfboards Bottom: Austin Strecker

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Local Shapers Clean Ocean Surfboards Mystic Surfboards Piper Surfing Boards PJ Surfboards Psyched Surfboards Miller Surfboards Morning Surfboards Rhino Surfboards Rozo Surfboards Savage Surfboards Tempo Surf Co. Whisnant Surfboards

Trenton 28

Phillips by Vincent Dalessio

CONTRIBUTOR: MOLLY BRITT

outlets teach board design, but still the best way to learn is to get into the shaping bay with someone who’s already producing high quality boards.

Lannorone isn’t afraid to let someone in his shaping bay; he’s happy to share all the information he's gathered over the years with people who are willing to put in the work, and he actively mentors a few up-andcoming shapers he feels have their hearts in the right place.

“Back in the day, shapers would only want you around because they

WHAT’S UP WITH THE PIER?

wanted you to do all the grunt work. But you learned things from just

Back in 2016, Hurricane Matthew and Hurricane Irma wreaked

osmosis and learning why you're doing certain things. They’d show you

havoc on Jacksonville and its beaches. The Jacksonville Beach

the steps, but at the same time, you had to kind of figure it out on your

Pier, a town staple, was especially hard hit. For six years,

own. Now with Instagram, I feel like a lot of guys coming up mimic what

residents have waited to see what would become of the local

they see on Instagram, but they don't really understand why they're doing

landmark.

those things,” explained Lannorone.

After half of the pier was destroyed from the storms, One shaper Lannorone currently works with and mentors is Sean Piper of

construction began on its repairs. However, the work hit many

Piper Surfing Boards, formerly Ghetto Surfboards. Piper has been running

delays, including difficulties gathering the money needed from

his own board shaping business out of his backyard for the past 10 years

the government and the arrival of the pandemic. In 2019, a

but recently put his day job to rest in order to put in longer hours in the

$10 million renovation plan was announced. This project was

shaping bay.

estimated to finish in 2021, but delays in getting permits from the city back in 2020 made completion impossible.

While Lannorone found inspiration in classic board designs and shapers like Hap Jacobs, Piper picked up shaping thanks to the 1995 Lost

While city officials claimed the previous pier was built to

Surfboards cult classic 5’5” 19 ¼, featuring Chris Ward and Cory Lopez

withstand hurricanes, it clearly wasn’t. But this renovation plan,

riding modern-style fish surfboards that were 5’5” long and 19¼” wide

they claim, will protect the pier and keep it standing through

(considered revolutionary at the time). Much like the Hypto Krypto, the

many potential storms. The construction on the pier is said to

Round Nose Fish, as it’s known, exploded and still is in production today,

fall within the previous pier’s alignment but will be inches taller

but unlike the Hypto, the board was not readily accessible to anyone with

and slightly shorter. It’s obvious the reconstruction of the pier

a credit card and was very difficult to get your hands on, so Piper took

took a while, but what is really being done for it to withstand

to the shaping bay and shaped one for himself.

the heavy storms other than its height?

The Round Nose Fish was unprecedented in design and still influences

The renovations included the demolition of the old pier, removal

board design today. For his 10th year anniversary, Piper shaped a tribute

of debris on the ocean floor, wood with sturdier panels, new

5’5” 19 ¼” style fish. I felt truly honored to not only hold this tribute board

lighting, plumbing and fire protection. Will all this really make

but also the first 5’5” he ever shaped. When I held both under my arm, I

our new pier stronger? Well, with it supposedly finishing right

could just tell they wanted to go fast.

before hurricane season starts, it looks like we might get front row seats. When contacted about news on the pier, ETM, the

In addition to the design of the Round Nose Fish, Piper specializes

professional services firm overseeing construction engineering

in small, alternative style performance boards. His boards are easily

and inspection for the project, was unavailable for comment.

characterized by the bright resin colors and eye-catching outlines.

But what impresses me most about Piper’s shaping is his range. Not

According to the Jacksonville Beach official website, fees are

only does he whip up a smile-inducing alternative shortboard, but his

still $3 for fishermen, $1 for visitors, and free for children under

longboards are up there with the best.

6 years old. However, with an updated pier, should we expect updated fees? For now, we just expect the local beloved pier

So if you’re looking to get your hands on a new board this season, rather

to open this summer and withstand future hurricanes.

than heading to Google for a “what's the best surfboard” search, hit up one of these locals. Talking through board design with your shaper will not only help you get the exact board you’re looking for, but you’ll start to understand why the board is gonna work and what you can expect with board feel, ultimately leading to more fun in the water.

29

NEW KID ON THE BLOCK Tiffany Nieves joins the River City Wrestling Con

Photo

by Toni Smailagic 30

CONTRIBUTOR: SHELTON HULL Tiffany Nieves drove four hours for this. Nieves is only about a dozen

Demolition, Kevin Sullivan, Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat and reigning

matches into her career in professional wrestling, a career that began

AEW Women’s Champion Thunder Rosa.

less than a year ago, and she has already gotten used to the frantic pace at which the business operates. On this day, she had driven up

Nicholas Bateh created the event in 2019, modeled on the various

from Orlando to shoot photos with Jacksonville’s own Toni Smailagic, the

conventions common to the comic book and sci-fi genres, most notably

results of which you are looking at right now. She would then drive right

San Diego Comic Con. Some local examples are CollectiveCon and

back to Orlando for her final training session, but first we drove around

Ancient City Con, events whose clientele naturally overlap with the one

for a half-hour while this rising star of the indie wrestling scene explained,

you’ll see in June. The pandemic forced cancellation of the 2020 event,

in detail, her origin story.

but they returned strong last year, with nearly 100 wrestlers on hand and nearly 5,000 fans over the weekend. (Los Angeles Lakers owner

“I moved here when I was 18, and I turned 19 shortly after,” said

Jeannie Buss was there on business, just hanging out watching indie

Nieves, who was born in the Bronx, New York. “I had just finished my

wrestling at the fairgrounds; the only people who noticed were the ones

chemotherapy and started remission for non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, and

who already knew her.)

I felt like everyone in my hometown looked at me as a ‘cancer survivor,’ and I just wanted to be a normal 19-year-old. At the time, I didn’t think of

In addition to the legends assembled in the main room, there will be a

it as a blessing. I wanted to be far away from everyone who reminded

side room to showcase the vast array of video games related to wrestling,

me that I was once sick, that I needed to be careful.” She got sick at 17,

as well as tons (literal tons) of merchandise from all eras of the business.

which cast a shadow over the experiences that we all treasure in those

Personally-speaking, the merch booths are always my favorite part of

years, proms and graduations and all that. “I just wanted to run away,” she

these types of events; there are so many items that are almost impossible

said. So, she did, coming down to crash with a friend who was attending

to find, even online, and a lot of stuff I never even knew existed. Note,

college downstate.

also, that last year’s vendors did so well on Saturday that some of them didn’t even bother setting up on Sunday; they just showed up and hung

Nieves started training for wrestling in Florida, but the seed was planted

out. Likewise, a number of wrestlers ended up waiving their usual fees

up north, years ago. “I’ve wanted to be a wrestler since I was probably

and started signing autographs and taking pictures for free.

8-years-old,” she said, “since I was old enough to know what was happening on TV. Growing up in the Bronx, my mom never let me outside.

There will be food trucks and drink tents, beer and wine, snacks and

I wasn’t allowed to go to parties, sleepovers, nothing. The only place I

candy. The official RCWC afterparty takes place that Saturday night, in

had to play was my living room. After a while, watching movies gets pretty

a downtown area that was already sure to be busy, what with the city’s

boring, but when you see wrestling on, I’ve got two siblings, so it was on!”

200th anniversary celebration also taking place on all day June 11 at James Weldon Johnson Park, in addition to all the regular urban core

Her favorite match ever was Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels at

shenanigans. You won’t even need a designated driver, because RCWC

WrestleMania 12 in 1996; it took place when she was only two, but it’s

is partnering this year with the Southbank Hotel, right across the river

required viewing for all students of the game, to this very day. She was

via the Main Street Bridge, to offer rooms at a special smart-mark rate.

also greatly influenced by John Cena, whose “Never Give Up” slogan truly resonates in the hearts of many young children, especially those

Best of all, there will be a ring setup inside the main hall, with wrestling

fighting serious illnesses, as she was. (It’s no surprise that Cena is the

matches taking place throughout the weekend. These matches will

most frequently requested celebrity by kids in the Make-A-Wish program,

feature some of the most talented independent wrestlers from around

which Cena considers his greatest achievement in life.)

the Southeast, with a number of national and international stars also flying in for the occasion. The main event will feature Jacob Fatu vs.

She wouldn’t say how much her training costs, but it’s generally assumed

Low Ki, which is guaranteed to be one of the best matches of the year,

to cost several thousand dollars, at the bare minimum. By the time you

on any level, anywhere.

see someone on TV, they have probably put five figures into their own development, and some even more. But it’s worth it, if you’re good. WWE

Events like these give serious fans a chance to experience pro wrestling

superstars earn millions a year, not even counting the insane profits to

in a setting and context that is reasonably faithful to the old school

be gleaned from merchandising and multi-media. Same goes for AEW,

aesthetic, while also providing an opportunity to witness some of the

which is owned by the Khan family and based here in Jacksonville, while

rising stars of wrestling’s future, before those bright lights really start

many other people make a very comfortable living, just by working the

shining. These include folks like Jon Davis, Stunt Marshall, Effy, Kaci

indies. It’s very similar to the music business, in that way.

Lennox and Kelsey Reagan, all of whom have worked the RCWC in previous years.

Nieves is just one among the veritable plethora of wrestling talent that will soon be assembled for this year’s River City Wrestling Con,

The assembled roster represents three generations and six decades of

being held at the Jacksonville Fairgrounds Expo Center June 11-12. The

wrestling history, much of which took place in Florida. Tiffany Nieves,

aforementioned “Hitman” Bret Hart will be there, along with Booker T,

however, will be making her inaugural appearance, and she’s as

Kevin Nash, The Hardy Boyz, Arn Anderson, Diamond Dallas Page, Dan

enthusiastic about this as she is about pretty much everything in her

Severn, Jimmy Hart, Johnny Gargano, “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan, Lo Ki,

life, which is to say, she’s looking forward to it very much.

31

CONTRIBUTOR: KALE BOUCHER

IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED, RIG THE SYSTEM How scorned developers rid the state of conservation efforts

2014-2019

2020

2021

Save Guana Now, co-founded by Nicole

Crosby wins an election for St Johns Soil and

Senator Travis Hutson (of The Hutson

Crosby, halt development plans of a

Water Conservation District against John (Bucky)

Companies) introduces Senate

conservation by Gate Petroleum.

Sykes, who had received donations from Gate

Bill 1078 to limit Soil and Water

Petroleum and The Hutson Companies.

Conservation Districts.

Soil and Water Conservation Districts are the unsung environmental

The version of SB1078 first brought up by Hutson sought to abolish

heroes within our communities. Made up of volunteers, they are the only

all of Florida’s Soil and Water Conservation Districts, eliminating the

natural resources boards with elected positions rather than members

one government entity whose sole purpose is to protect our natural

being appointed. New legislation will disempower Florida voters in these

resources. Later versions abandoned the attempt to dissolve all Florida’s

district elections, minimizing our power to decide for ourselves which

districts. Instead, Hutson sought new restrictions regarding who can run

community members are best suited to manage conservation concerns.

for these positions.

In Duval, our board is composed of soil scientists, teachers, farmers

Ultimately, in the bill passed by the Florida Senate and now awaiting

and engineers, among others. These district members take on a wide

approval by Governor Desantis, candidates running for one of the 5 seats

variety of roles. To fulfill their goal of inspiring a conservation ethic

within a Soil and Water Conservation District must meet be an eligible

in the community, board members manage media, public speaking,

voter who resides in the district and is 1) actively engaged in or retired

administrative and organizational duties, all unpaid. They lead educational

after 10 years of being engaged in agriculture (as defined in s. 570.02); 2)

and mentorship programs, acquire grants for public projects and more.

employed by an agricultural producer; and 3) owns, leases or is actively

Come the next election, however, only one current member may be

employed on land classified as agricultural (under s. 193.461).

eligible to run again.

Why Was the Bill Proposed?

Due to Senate Bill 1078, which sits on Governor DeSantis’s desk, the

A string of recent events is likely the motivation behind this legislation.

future of Florida’s Soil and Water Conservation Districts is uncertain.

Although Hutson denies any connection between these events and the

Although the district members remain steadfast in their determination to

bill, it’s difficult to ignore their relevance to the bill’s subject matter.

serve our community, asserting their intent to continue their efforts with or without the ability to retain their positions, this legislation is detrimental

In Ponte Vedra, 100 acres of land referred to as the Outpost is situated at

to their ability to organize, educate and advocate for the public.

the end of Neck Road. Almost entirely surrounded by the Guana Wildlife Management Area, the Outpost has been designated “conservation”

The History of Soil and Water Conservation Districts

since 1990. In 2016, Ponte Vedra Corporation owned by Gate Petroleum

Soil and Water Conservation districts were created in 1937 by federal

and partnering with Dream Finders Homes pursued a rezoning of the

law in response to the Dust Bowl. Its soil erosion and drought raised

Outpost. They submitted plans for a residential development of 77

concerns regarding use and management of natural resources. So,

homesites.

the districts were installed as a preventative measure. Grassroots organizations, these districts are made up of five elected supervisors

Save Guana Now, a not-for-profit organization, was founded by Ponte

with the possibility of affiliate members. Without any taxation authority,

Vedra residents Nicole Crosby and Gary Coulliette with the goal of

these local volunteers act as a liaison between government expertise and

preventing development on the Outpost and preserving its conservation

the public. The purpose of Florida’s districts as outlined in Chapter 582

status. Through their fundraising and educational efforts, they garnered

of the Florida Statutes is “to provide assistance, guidance, and education

overwhelming opposition to rezoning plans with Gate Petroleum

to landowners, land occupiers, the agricultural industry, and the general

ultimately withdrawing their efforts.

public in implementing land and water resource protection practices.”

In 2020 Crosby ran for the St. Johns Soil and Water Conservation Senate Bill 1078

District. She was rivaled by farmer John (Bucky) Sykes. Typically, the

In November of last year Travis Hutson, a member of the Florida Senate

elections for these unpaid positions see little money. Sykes, however,

representing St. Johns, Flagler, and Volusia counties, introduced Senate

had an unprecedented campaign fund of $43,000, in part backed by

Bill 1078. The bill has evolved many times since first being introduced.

Gate Petroleum and The Hutson Companies (owned by Sen. Hutson’s family). Despite this backing, Crosby beat out Sykes by 11,000 votes,

32

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...continued

having only raised $3,000 to campaign in response to her opponent’s

With only 366 farmers in Duval County, the board is concerned about the

bolstered warchest.

transfer of knowledge, fulfillment of grants and completion of projects in the aftermath of SB1078. Farmers are, afterall, one of the district’s target

One year later, Travis Hutson proposed Senate Bill 1078.

audiences.

As of 2019, Hutson was a state senator and listed as Vice President on

While the board devotes time and energy to provide resources to the

The Hutson Companies’s website. While the website no longer reflects

agriculture sector, they worry efforts in other areas will be lost when

that title, Travis Hutson is still listed under the team.

farmers are the only citizens permitted to occupy their seats. Affiliate member Tiffany Bess shares, “we have a document we do every year

Now passed by the Florida Senate, SB1078 sits on Desantis’ desk, our

where we identify our priorities. And so many of those extend far past

governor who has received donations from The Hutson Companies.

agriculture and farming.”

Ironically enough, Senator Travis Hutson cited Desantis’ “protection of the environment” as one of the reasons he supports the Governor in a

Joshua Rosenberg, another affiliate member, echoes this concern, “I

statement to the Times/Herald.

also think it's going to change the breadth of (...) what the board does.”

He explains “we have some people that have farm experience, and

Discriminatory Implications

some people have composting experience and green engineering and

SB1078 attacks the diversity and integrity of our Conservation Districts in

permaculture. And then what the agricultural people are gonna have,

its approach to establish boards composed exclusively of farmers. While

they're gonna know, cattle. They're gonna know, tree farming. They're

the bill explicitly reduces diversity in expertise, the new requirements will

gonna know horses. They're just gonna know these niches. And if they

have underlying effects in terms of racial, gender, and class diversity as

have the time to come and put their time here on the board, they're

well. As I sat in a public meeting with Duval’s Soil and Water Conservation

probably just going to try and keep to the things and what areas that they

District to discuss the legislation, I was struck by how accurately the

know, right? And not really (explore), how do we get more food security?

group represented Duval. The room was indicative of our community at

How do we bring urban farms into the city?”

large: diverse in age, race, gender and profession.

In districts elsewhere, you can see these concerns play out already.

According to the USDA, 96% of agricultural landowners are white and only

Some Soil and Water Conservation Districts face difficulties as farmers

1.3% of farmers are Black. This disparity is due to a long history of racist

on their boards hoard resources. Even well intentioned farmers may lack

economic and land ownership practices (see Pigford vs. Glickman). In

the time or prior experience to see out projects like the Regeneration

making farmers the only group that qualify, the bill essentially bans most

Park or to manage the $65,000 in grants and contributions our current

people of color from participating in an agency created to preserve water

board was able to acquire.

and soil quality - at a time where people of color are disproportionately affected by such quality issues.

Chairman Jennifer Casey recalls “the thing that I am most proud of, is that one day we were out spreading mulch (at Regeneration Park). And this

SB1078’s Impact on Duval

gentleman was walking along the S-line. And he stopped, he walked over,

Ashantae Green of Duval’s Soil and Water Conservation District (and a

just picked up a shovel and started moving mulch. And we [asked], what

farmer herself) argues “we’re all farmers.” We grow humans. We grow

caused you to stop what you’re doing and join us today? And he said,

relationships. We grow community. At the heart of conservation is the

right over there, my son was shot and killed on that corner, and I want to

understanding of connection and the recognition that everything we do

do something good where something terrible happened. We are not only

has a broader impact. While we often see ourselves as separate from

healing the land with projects like this, but we're healing a community.”

our natural resources, their purpose is to instill actionable respect for our interdependence.

The current Duval Soil and Water Conservation District is a love letter to the community. A reprieve from the bureaucracy and private interests of

Duval Soil and Water is unanimous in its opposition to SB1078. District

our current political climate, these boards function as the government

members feel as though the move to ban them from their seats is made in

should. They are a diverse collection of people unified by a common

an appeal to developers and big agriculture. They, however, are not anti-

belief: that everyone, land users and owners, “deserve clean soil and

development and not anti-farming. The overwhelming narrative is often

water and access to food.” At a time when our collective future may seem

conservation efforts poised against economic interests. Conservation

bleak, the interruption of their functioning is an overwhelming loss. The

issues, in reality, are short term economics vs long term economics.

question now: what will we do with our grief?

Money for developers now - expensive cleanup, cost to locals, and decreased tourism follow later. Members wish only to apply their diverse

To learn more about the Duval Soil and Water Conservation District and

expertise to advocate for mindful development that does not cost us the

the work they do check out their website.duvalsoilandwater.com/

integrity of our soil and water.

34

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35 5.18.22 Folio-Half Page-4.875x13 AD.indd 1

5/12/22 10:17 AM

CONTRIBUTOR: MOLLY BRITT

HARAJUKU TATTOO On Atlantic Boulevard in a small studio with a pink door is one of the most interesting tattoo artists I’ve met. Arcissa Jackson is a local tattoo artist with six years of experience. If you’re looking for colorful, unique pieces, she’s the one to see.

Jackson became a tattoo artist eight years ago and came up with the idea of Harajuku Tattoo to incorporate her love for kawaii, anime, gemstones and astrology in her work. She prides herself on offering a creative and welcoming space to all and encourages everyone to express themselves to the fullest.

Born in Japan, Jackson moved to America where she grew up to love all kinds of art. It wasn’t until she happened upon a job in a tattoo shop, as she began college, that she became interested in tattoo work. “I was really into graffiti at the time and one of the artists had taken an interest in me because he was also starting to get into graffiti…we traded and he taught me how to tattoo,” said Jackson. Her skills in tattooing continued to grow until Harajuku was born.

Jackson uses her position as an artist with her own shop to mentor others and prove to everyone if they want it enough, they can do it. The studio’s welcoming environment is expressed through bright colors, walls covered in art and the welcoming face of the artist.

Jackson noted her “frilly and pink” style has earned her respect in the community. I went along for the ride and got some tattoos done

by Jackson so I could get the full experience.

At our consultation, we spoke about astrology and how she incorporates it into her work. One of the first questions she asked was what my signs were. We spoke animatedly about me being a Pisces and what it really meant. We discussed what I was interested in, and after looking into her flash tattoos, we decided the colors and designs I wanted. Throughout the entire process, I felt seen and heard. It was a great first impression.

When I came back, I walked into the bright studio and felt ready for another tattoo. Before getting to work, Jackson made sure I was comfortable and knew exactly what I wanted. It was a great experience, and I learned so much about my artist.

Jackson sometimes likes to take her business mobile and show up at various conventions and guest spots in other tattoo shops. She enjoys learning new techniques from other tattoo artists, as she expresses how “innovative” they are. “I just love seeing how everybody’s methods to their madness is, and I get to take that back to my clients here in Jacksonville and offer them new styles. It’s a gathering of knowledge,” she expressed.

interested in the tattoo industry. She wants to work with other artists to create unique things. It is definite that she is creative and motivated enough to make it happen. Speaking as someone who has gotten work done by her, I definitely recommend her, not only for a new and unique take on tattoos, but also for a memorable experience.

36

Photos by Vincent Dalessio

Jackson hopes to spread her knowledge and guide others who are

INTERN: LILY SNOWDEN

LIVING YOUR DREAM, ON A YACHT Imagine waking up on a yacht every day, perhaps in the Bahamas,

keeping the exterior of the yacht clean and assisting guests with outside

Mediterranean or Virgin Islands. Sounds like a dream, right? For many

activities. Other positions, like captain, engineer, ETO (electro-technical

young 20-somethings, this is a reality. But how?! One word: yachting.

officer), electrician and first mate, are more specialized and require additional training and experience. There are lots of opportunities in

Though many people don’t realize it, the yachting industry has a high

the yachting industry, making it a sustainable career for many years.

demand for workers. With a low cost of living, extended travel dates and other perks, this career has quickly picked up popularity among young

Though the idea of getting to travel all the time to tropical locations

Floridians and adventurers alike. Known as “yachties,” they are paid to

sounds glamorous, yachting is hard work. Yachties typically work 18-hour

live what many would consider a dream life: Work on a yacht, travel for

days, as they are on the job before the guests wake up and after they go

free and use the amenities when owners are not aboard. While a starting

to bed. There is a lot of cleaning the exterior, laundry, polishing, laundry,

salary of $3,000 a season may not sound like much, food, utilities, gas

hauling heavy items, laundry, packing up, unpacking and laundry. Did I

and sometimes insurance is covered, leaving room for a very low cost

mention laundry? There are night shifts as well as day shifts for every

of living, while getting to travel the world.

position on board. Many yachties say that the travel and experience outweighs the hard work and makes it all worth it.

Does this sound like your dream lifestyle? It’s easier to get started than you might expect. The base requirements for working on a yacht are

As I write this piece, I am riding in the car on the way to Ft. Lauderdale to

obtaining two key things: an ENG1 medical certificate and STCW or a

get my ENG1. I graduated college two days ago, and I plan on taking my

Standards of Training, Certification and Watchkeeping certification.

STCW sometime in early June. I am hoping to be a stewardess for as long as I can or until I decide working on land sounds more appealing than

An ENG1 is essentially a physical assessment by a Maritime and

getting to go to the Bahamas several times a year. Though the working

Coastguard Agency (MCA) certified doctor. It ensures candidates are

days on yachts can be long, I am excited to start this adventure and be

physically fit enough to travel and work at sea. The exam is relatively

on the sea at all times of day.

short and costs an average of $200. The STCW is a five-day course that teaches about fire safety, personal life saving techniques, CPR and

If you are interested in starting a yachting career, several helpful

other subjects and costs roughly $1,000 depending on the provider.

resources include:

After completion, candidates can take additional courses to help them stand out from other candidates, depending on which position they are

Blue Water Yachting: a training, management and placement agency

applying for. The third requirement is an American passport or a working

based in Ft. Lauderdale that also provides brokerage and charter services

visa. Due to COVID-19 and high demand, a working visa is extremely

bluewateryachting.com

hard to obtain right now. In turn, yachts are in search of candidates with U.S. passports.

DayWork123: a free worldwide digital job posting board for both daywork and temporary and permanent yacht and maritime positions

With the ENG, STCW and U.S. passport, candidates can work in a

daywork123.com

number of positions on the yacht. On the interior, there are stewards and stewardesses (aka stews) including chief stew, second stew, third stew

That Yachtie Girl: “yachtie tips and travel clips” from 25-year old Emery

and junior stew. They are responsible for guest services, housekeeping,

Wallerich, a working yacht stewardess, who shares insider info about the

laundry and luggage. Exterior positions include mate, bosun (or​​

yacht industry on Tik-Tok

boatswain), lead deckhand and deckhand. They are responsible for

@ThatYachtieGirl

37

38

CONTRIBUTOR: SHELTON HULL

WEIRD, WILD STUFF We took a mulligan on last month’s column for two reasons: 1) the debacle

single feedlot will produce an estimated 5,116 tons of methane. Consider

involving Will Smith and Chris Rock was easily the stupidest thing that

that this particular lot is tiny, compared to many others around the world,

happened in that period, and there was just no point in trying to top that;

and you have a sense of the environmental impact this stuff can have. But

and 2) since last month’s issue was our special 420 edition, you were all

there are ancillary benefits, in theory, because that much methane could

probably celebrating the occasion, in which case you’d find everything

power over 15,000 homes, although no one knows how to do that yet.

hilarious anyway. So, now we’re back to business and have we got some ridiculous stories for you!

Louisiana is lovely, as you know, and football fans regard it as one of the elite locales in the entire country. The Superdome is ubiquitous

Let’s begin in the state that almost single-handedly made this column

worldwide, but an underrated gem is Tiger Stadium in Baton Rouge,

necessary: Florida. Specifically, the hilariously-named Longwood, whose

which has hosted LSU games since 1924. With a capacity of just over

entire population could fit snugly inside our arena downtown. Two

100,000, most of whom are residents of Louisiana, it’s widely regarded

women were recently arrested down there for drugging the guests at

as one of the loudest facilities of any type ever made. Case in point: a

a wedding. Of course, the caterer took the fall, but so did the actual

Garth Brooks concert there recently registered as a small earthquake

bride, who allegedly put her up to it. Tradition demands that one must

on a seismograph located about a quarter-mile away. Even weirder, this

indulge the bride’s every possible whim on her big day, but this lady

happened before, when LSU beat Auburn in October 1988—with only

apparently overestimated the hipness of her assembled friends and

80% capacity.

family, some of whom ended up vomiting or even unconscious. Edibles are very strong and difficult to establish consistent dosages. Everybody’s

Just when you think mankind has cornered the market on sketchy

body processes the stuff differently, so giving edibles (or any drug) to

behavior, here come the animals to remind us why they’re called

anyone without their permission is not only a God-level party foul, but

“animals.” Two dolphins were spotted swimming down a river in Bolivia

also illegal. But ultimately, however, the funny thing is not what she did,

not long ago, both bois in a state of heightened sexual arousal. Dolphins,

but the fact that anyone minded. I can only assume that those particular

as you may know, are deeply and pathologically perverted, frat boys of

guests were not from #Florida.

the sea, but these fellas had sub-zero chill. This tremendously tumescent twosome’s frolic was augmented by the most dangerous pool noodle

From there, we go to the beautiful San Joaquin Valley in California,

ever seen: “Eunectes beniensis,” a species of anaconda that is non-

which has a thriving cattle industry that doesn’t get as much attention

venomous but can still grow to upwards of 10 feet, easy. Scientists have

as similar operations in the Southwest. It’s a hard, dirty job with literal

never seen this before, though they do spend a lot of time looking. I

tons of byproducts, including methane, which they’re producing in such

would suggest maybe taking a sample of that river water and testing it

abundance that it can be detected from space. In just one day, satellites

like Olympic athletes’s tinkle. I don’t know what industries are popular in

measured the output of methane gas at over a thousand pounds per

that area, but I do know that Evo Morales was El Presidente for 13 years;

hour, which is more than even the U.S. Senate. If trends hold firm year-

that alone would count as probable cause in many jurisdictions.

round (which they should, because cattle farts are pretty consistent), this 39

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Bard's "always" Rip into Wide shoe size Check recipient "Tiny Bubbles" singer TV type Tooth part VH1 rival Jumbo Shrimp stat Monastery man Nationality suffix JSO badge wearer Astound Yankee Doodle ride Jax-to-Boca dir.

A

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Solve this puzzle like a regular sudoku, but instead of using numbers, use the letters L-A-W-S-O-N (for U.S. Rep. Al Lawson) to fill each row, column and box.

W H Y B T U W M D

ON/OFF

E F A X I C U C A T D E S E C L M O I N Y T I T C H C H A I K M U E M ON/OFF

S E T E U R A P S T S A B E E

DOWN 1 Iraq war issue, briefly 2 Mine find 3 NAS JAX Air Show mo.

4 Finished 5 Spooky 6 Classroom furniture 7 '60s prez?

8 The "G" of TGIF 9 Radiate 10 Debacle 11 Players By the Sea play part 12 Spelling contest 15 "___ upon a time..."

19 Animal that sounds like you?

21 A/C meas.

22 Do the Strides for Pride 23 To such extent 24 Maa Kitchen bread 26 Elderly one, informally 27 Marker 32 amenity 29 Lightest metal 30 Mule's father 31 School grp.

33 Resist 34 Bit of folklore 36 Typeface 38 Jax City Council Member Howland 41 Disaster relief org.

42 Attended 43 Folio reporter's query 44 Mont. neighbor 47 Trio after R

48 50 52 55 56 58 60 61 62 63 64 66 67 68 69

N L S A O W

73 Scratch (out) 74 Toon who says, "I yam what I yam"

O A W S L N

ACROSS 1 Abounding in trees 7 Candle count 10 Beatles: The ___ Four 13 Automatic-drip machine endorsed by Joe DiMaggio 14 TIAA Bank Field ticket booth 16 Discourages 17 Teach 18 '50s prez 20 ___ Moines 21 Salty water 25 Used a loom 28 Applaud 32 Fish in a can 33 Akel's, e.g.

34 Damp 35 Dangerous 37 Say it isn't so 39 JIA ID checkers 40 Something you flip in a house... or an apt title for this puzzle 43 Hulk Hogan's grappling org.

45 Russian refusal 46 "Longue" chair 49 Downtown riverfront hotel 51 Timid 53 Remote button 54 Bygone days 55 Peel 56 Take exception 57 Pie ___ mode 59 Green prefix 61 "Heavens!"

65 Opens a bottle 70 Considerations pro and con 71 Attention seekers 72 Aardwolf Brewing vessel

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O O D E R C E E T E R I R I N E U N A N S A F O N O W F N Y A T T O R E A L M E R C T R A D V A T

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COLOR ME

WHERE’S SCAMPI? SOLVE THE PUZZLE TO FIND OUT!

1

EBSALABL

2 DTOGOH 3 SRITEK 4

RIUPME

IT’S ALMOST GAME TIME. WHERE CAN WE FIND SCAMPI? _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ HINT: USE THE RED LETTERS TO UNSCRAMBLE THE ANSWER!

WELCOME TO YOUR HOME FOR

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PERSONAL INJURY • CRIMINAL DEFENSE • FAMILY LAW

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ADULT ADVICE SHARI AND TERRY JAYMES

TERRY: Give me a minute here. “Hore?”

SHARI: Yes, I believe it’s a wildflower found only in the Atacama desert of Chile, but that’s not important now. I do wonder if this jerk had a job though. Would be good to know.

Oh how I need your misguided wisdom. Oh, and how I love your podcast.

It’s the best podcast out there on so many levels. You’re way too funny.

Now, back to me.

I’m almost 60 years old and I find myself in a bit of a pickle. I recently had to end my relationship with a man I’ve been with for 22 years. First I should let you know a little about me. I’ve never been married. I have my own business and I’ve done quite well for myself. I’ve made some great decisions and will be able to retire in April 2023.

I’m not allowed to get into the details, but what I can tell you is that I caught this man stealing from me. It was sad, ugly and a complete shock to all. It was so egregious that I immediately had to get the police involved. He has since flattened my tires, kicked in my passenger side door and spray painted “whore” on my garage door. Misspelled by the way. What is a “hore.” He’s really showed his true colors.

I can handle almost all of this. It’s business and I know how to do that.

However I am having an issue with a broken heart. I trusted the man and loved him deeply. There were never any signs of this behavior in our entire relationship. He was always supportive and respectful. He was THE one.

This entire experience has left me not trusting myself. Do you think the right person is out there for me? Is 60 too late?

Thanks for your time and consideration.

Mandy S. Palm Coast, FL.

TERRY: As usual, we always have more questions. That being said, congratulations on all your success, Mandy. I get the feeling here that you might be thinking that you’re better at business than in your love life and I hope that’s not the case.

SHARI: Mandy, what you need is a good old pep talk. Please remember that you’ve accomplished so much, especially being a single woman. To be able to retire at 60 is a huge feat for anyone. Kudos to you! You obviously have good instincts even if you chose some lazy, morally corrupt individual to share your life with. These manipulative types know what they’re doing. They many not be able to spell but they do know how to work a room. This is by no means your fault. It happens to the best of people.

TERRY: Yes Mandy, you’re not the first person to choose poorly. And Shari is right. You just need a minor pep talk. You did the hard stuff already. I can’t tell you how many people I know that would forgive the person and try to continue on with the relationship. You taking care of the business end is something I don’t see many people do. You should have your own Ted Talk - "How to Take Control of Your Life After an Encounter With a Loser."

SHARI: I’d go to that talk.

TERRY: Hey wait a minute.

SHARI: Nothing to do with you Terry. But if you should choose to dump me, I need to be prepared.

Seriously though, Mandy you need to trust yourself again. There is absolutely someone for you. I would even suggest several someones. Put yourself out there and trust that not all guys are losers. But also don’t rush into anything and put him in a position to be ABLE to steal from you. I’m talking individual bank accounts for a start. Even if you end up cohabitating. And definitely DON’T share your password to anything with him. It’s just good sense.

TERRY: Well, if I do dump you Shari I’ll make sure I park my car somewhere else.

Yes, Shari is 100% right in protecting yourself from any more jerks. But I think it’s very important for you not to take this personal. It’s has nothing to do with you. This was a crime of opportunity. You will absolutely find the right person. You have a long, exciting life ahead of you. Please give us an update when you do.

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