WHY
“THIRD PLACES” SHOUL
Words by M
The gym in my apartment complex is, more often than not, completely empty. Aside from the “out of order” signs, a treadmill that is far too loud to run on and a window that is held together by a piece of cardboard and tape after a rock was thrown through it … there’s not much to look at. But every time I go, I run into the same woman. She is an older, small woman who is either riding the stationary bicycle or ashing her cigarette into a water bottle at the nearby pool. She also has the most inviting smile and contagious energy I have seen in a long time. After the first few times of seeing each other, exchanging friendly grins and nods, she began talking to me. She talks to me like she’s known me her whole life and seems genuinely excited every time we meet again. I find myself anticipating our chats, even if they last only a minute. This new friendship, born in this new location, is why we need “third places.” In American society, we spend our days in two places — the first place being where we live and the second place being where we work. We might swing by the grocery store or complete an errand in between our first and second places, but these two locations are primarily where we can be found. A third place refers to somewhere people regularly meet, connect, exchange ideas, build relationships, etc. Author and sociologist Ray Oldenburg first coined the term in his 1989 book “The Great Good Place,” where he examines the importance of public places for people to gather and set aside concerns of their first and second places. Unfortunately, third places are dying. The 2020 pandemic certainly didn’t help, and although communal gatherings are no longer safety concerns, we never quite got back to the way things were before. People still prefer to meet behind a screen via social media and still opt for drive-thrus or online orders for groceries. We seem to go out of our way just to avoid other people, which has invited a new age of isolation into our lives and communities. In May, the U.S. Surgeon General released a report titled “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation,” which found that America faces trends of declining social connection and an increase in isolation. From 2003 to 2020, social isolation, measured by the average time spent alone, increased from 142.5
hours per month to 166.5 — representing 24 more Further, in 2018 only 16% of Americans reported We need each other; we’re born needing each othhours per month. Meanwhile, social participation they felt very attached to their local community. er. We need strong communities and friendly faces. across different types of relationships has declined. Other findings from the study point to the numer- We need a social life outside of the office and bedous health risks associated with a lack of social room. According to a study from Gettysburg ColAccording to the report, the amount of time respon- connection. The report claims “loneliness and so- lege, the average person will spend 90,000 hours dents engaged with friends socially in-person de- cial isolation increase the risk for premature death at work over a lifetime — roughly a third of it. If we creased from 30 hours a month in 2003 to 10 hours by 26% and 29% respectively.” It also warns that must spend so much time working, we at least owe a month in 2020, representing a decrease of 20 poor or insufficient social connection is associated it to ourselves to use the other two-thirds wisely. hours each month spent engaging with friends. with increased risk of diseases, like heart disease Incorporating a third place into your life can help and risk of stroke.
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