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a guy walks into a bar...
A Guy Walks Into a Bar... Drinking Stories
by Terry Hart, Director of Competition, PR%F Awards
Never Trust Anyone Who Won’t Drink With You.
I
spoke with an old friend, Chris Hutson, about his childhood memory of his grandfather who owned one of only two taverns in the tiny Iowa town of Clare, just outside of Fort Dodge, Iowa.
“So, your grandfather owned a bar in Clare, Iowa?” “Yes, Clare was founded by Irish immigrants at the turn of the last century. The surrounding farmland was made up of German immigrant farmers,” he replied. Clare was a small town of about three hundred people. It had two churches and two bars. Chris continued, “It was a roughneck, hard drinking town. The bars were side by side in this tiny town. One for the Catholics and one for the Lutherans.” Chris’s grandfather, Edward Kane, was a prominent Clare community member. He was a volunteer fireman, and a devout member of the Catholic Church: ash on his forehead the Wednesday before Easter, fish on Fridays, bingo on Saturdays. He owned the Catholic bar, Willie’s Lounge, which he apparently bought from the previous owner, Willie, and never changed the name. “Why confuse the patrons?” he reasoned.
As a boy in the late 60s Chris would hear stories about life in the small American Midwest town and the people who drank there. “It was a great party town. In the summer they would have donkey baseball. I remember one time The Harlem Globetrotters came to town. It was the B team. Meadowlark Lemon wasn’t there, but Curly played. On the fourth of July they had fireworks. Fort Dodge didn’t have fireworks so everyone from the county came to Clare. There was a big parade, which everybody in town marched in. They would have a greased pig contest…” “What’s that?” I asked. “They’d smear grease all over a pig, and the men would have a bunch of drinks and run around and try and catch the pig.” “So, everybody would drink Schlitz beer and try to catch this poor pig?” “Yes, Schlitz and Hamm’s. Those were the big beers back then.” My trivial mind kicked in, “Oh yes, Schlitz, the beer that made Milwaukee famous.” “My grandfather drank Hamm’s back in those days. “Hamm’s the beer refreshing... Hamm’s...” I sang. “Right. Then he switched to Old Style.”
