I Blame Tim Burton (But I Also Don’t) 36

I Blame Tim Burton

(But I Also Don’t)

Written by Rider Pesco Layout by Zoe Ennis Photographer: Elise Anstey Stylist: Amelia White Models: Carleigh Hassing, Sydney Flood, & Kevin Hammill Creative Director: Lily Parturzo

It was after watching Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride that I became sure that anyone can get married. I’m not talking about main characters Victor and Victoria, or even the Corpse Bride Emily herself. I’m referring to Victor and Victoria’s parents. Victor’s parents are a nouveau riche couple, while Victoria’s parents are destitute aristocrats, and each family is trying to use the other to elevate their material and social statuses. Not only are they using their children for superficial gain, but they’re also dreadful and disrespectful people in general. As a six year-old watching this movie, my first thoughts, however, were not about social status and the concept of marriage as an economic proposition (re: Greta Gerwig’s Little Women and also every movie in existence). My childhood self saw these four horrible individuals and thought to myself, “Well, I’m not thinking about marriage, but if these bad people could do it, then I guess I can get married if I want to.” And it wasn’t just Corpse Bride. It was almost every movie or series I watched in my adolescence, pretty much all of which consisted of grumpy, relatively unattractive couples and parents, who were always overbearing caretakers like Freddie’s mom in iCarly or oppressive school administrators like Headmaster Groff in Sex Education. I was in elementary school and thought to myself, “How did [insert main character]’s dad pull? He’s a terrible person!” Honestly, I’m not sure where I’m going with all of this. Maybe I’m just a jaded college student writing this at midnight, bitter about the fact that I can’t pull and Victoria’s mom with her comically large chin did. But upon further reflection, this entire tirade was pretty ironic considering that the point of Corpse Bride was that (spoiler alert, although this movie is from 2005) the Corpse Bride herself is never able to fulfill her dream of true love and marriage because she and her chances at romance died a long time ago. And while Victor and Victoria’s respective parents are grumpy and manipulative now, it is possible that living in a repressive society simply sucked the youthful optimism out of them. It’s also likely that their parents didn’t actually attract each other and were forced to marry in the same way Victor and Victoria were.

So I blame Tim Burton (and every other movie ever) for convincing me that anyone could be successful in romance if they wanted to be, but I also don’t. Maybe I should blame myself, missing the point like I always do.