Fuse x2 issue 13

Richard Hawley / Tom Wrigglesworth / Guide to Sheffield

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Features.Short Fuse.

Competition Win GoldenTickets For Plug Fuse has teamed up with the self-proclaimed ‘aural epicentre of the North’ Plug to offer a pretty incredible prize for two lucky readers.

Plug, situated on Matilda Street, is offering two Access All Gigs Passes which will entitle each winner and one friend to get into any live show, club, or student night for absolutely free.

The passes last until May 31 2010, so owning one of these could save you some serious cash.

The academic year is starting off with a serious bang: Intro Week alone sees appearances from Kissy Sell Out, Mr Hudson, Slow Club and Mumford and Sons, before rounding off with a huge evening of Simian Mobile Disco greatness on Friday, September 25.

Hello, and welcome Editorial A new look to Fuse.

To all freshers: welcome, and to all returning students: welcome back. If this is your first experience of student life and of Sheffield, you’re probably feeling exhausted by all the information you’ve been told/had handed to you, a little overawed by just about everything and have already been lost once or twice daily. And it doesn’t help that there are people who have been here at least a year striding around the place with purpose, or at least with an inkling of where they are going.

But don’t worry, now there is something that is a bit of an unknown for everyone; the brand new rejuvenated and refreshed look of Fuse, your fortnightly entertainment and culture pull-out come bible from Forge Press.

Now with four extra pages, Fuse is no longer sectioned into Music, Games, Arts and Screen. Instead we have given much more space to feature articles, allowing us to introduce double page spreads, and full page articles to give you something that’s a bit more substantial and appealing.

The first two pages, Short Fuse, are devoted to shorter pieces and regular features, such as the Clubbers’ Guide and Testimonial, giving you bite-size pieces of the stuff we do before you get to the meatier stuff.

Give you something that’s more appealing

This week we have focused on your new home from home; Sheffield. We have interviews with two big name local acts; Richard

Hawley, the Mercurynominated solo artist, and Tom Wrigglesworth, the stand-up comedian who was nominated for this year’s Comedy Award at the Edinburgh Festival.

On top of this, there is our own guide to the city, comprising a map and information of the venues, theatres, galleries, cinemas and clubs we enjoy. But please don’t take this to be an exhaustive and prescriptive guide; Sheffield has plenty more to offer that we simply couldn’t fit onto the page. If you want to find out more about the place and what’s going on, pick up flyers and programmes, look out for posters or simply scour the Internet.

The second half of Fuse is chiefly apportioned to reviews of new releases, performances and events from all the branches of Fuse already mentioned. In this issue, there are reviews of the latest albums from Jay-Z and Muse, the recent run of Rain Man, starring

Neil Morrissey and Oliver Chris, at The Lyceum, the new Madden game for the XBox360 and PS3 and plenty more besides.

We are always after knowledgeable writers

There has also been the addition of the media page in this section. Here we will be covering and reviewing the output of our sister organisations, Forge Radio and Forge TV as well as offering a guide to what will be on future transmissions.

To begin with, there is a preview of the re-launched Forge TV. To round the whole thing off, we continue with our Listings page, imparting you with our advice on what to do until the next issue of Fuse comes out.

And finally, an appeal to

all of you. It would simply not be possible to put Fuse without the help of several volunteers. The editorial team put in lots of hours organising content and laying up the pages, but they are not responsible for everything that makes it into the pull-out.

We are always after passionate, knowledgeable and decent writers and photographers, and with our new look we’re crying out for good-quality illustrators, cartoonists and graphic designers.

If you want to get involved, then drop into the Media Hub (just off the Gallery in the Students’ Union), visit our website ForgeToday. com (where, coincidently, you will find more exclusive articles) or come find us at the Activities Fair on Thursday September 24.

We look forward to meeting and hope you enjoy what you read.

Alistair White fuse@forgetoday.com

A hankering for some fidgety wonkyness

Friday September 18 2009

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The increasingly prolific duo will be promoting their new album Temporary Pleasures, having travelled the globe playing some of the world’s best clubs and producing albums for a number of artists.

For the rest of the semester, there are gigs to come from Frankmusik, The Hours and The Chapman Family as well as DJ sets from Utah Saints, High Contrast and Benga, all of which you can go to free of charge. You’ll even gain entry to their notorious, riotous New Year’s Eve rave without having to spend a single penny.

No doubt you’re now foaming at the mouth wanting to know how you can enter this fantastic competition. Well, all you have to do is answer this simple question: Speech Debelle, who is playing at Plug on Saturday, September 26, won this year’s Mercury Music Prize, but which of the following albums was not on the shortlist? a) The Invisible - The Invisible b) Micachu - Jewellery c) The Horrors - Primary Colours

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Send your answer, along with your name and contact details, to: fuse@forgetoday.com Closing date for entries is midnight on Sunday, October 4. Good luck! www.the-plug.com

Skullduggery DJs in action at their house/fidget/techno night WONK.

Q&A

Who runs it?

Skullduggery DJs.

Door Tax? Five pounds.

The Mightyfools and Mowgli.

Clubbers’Guide WONK

When is it on and how often is it?

First Saturday of the month, every month.

Where is it?

Upstairs at DQ.

Standard attire/Uniform?

It doesn’t matter.

Who is lined up for the future?

A lot. There’s Hijack & The Mightyfools back for our birthday on Saturday, October 3. Also, His Majesty Andre on Saturday, November 7 and Solo on Saturday, December 5.

Name of the night?

WONK. Tagline “He who dares, WONKS”

What music do you play?

Squelchy house and techno.

Who’s it for?

Lovers of music that’s far better than other music.

Who has played in the past?

Heaps of different people.

The highlights so far have been Jack Beats, Hijack,

Any recommendations for other similar nights?

No Uniform at The Harley throw some excellent parties, Then there’s the rest of the DQ folk Krooked, Bigger than Barry, Wee Bit Mean, Club Pony, and all the rest.

Next Event Our birthday party on Saturday, October 3 with Hijack, The Mightyfools, Kyle Watson and Liam Vizzle, as well as residents and hosts Skullduggery DJs.

Features.Short Fuse.

Partying with PCs: save the local area network rave Feature LAN Gaming There is a stereotype that PC gaming is a solitary pursuit; the only other people you interact with are hiding behind their virtual avatars while they sit in their room wearing only their pants.

Consoles, on the other hand, are apparently devices for social interaction, sitting on your couch knocking back beers with your mates or swinging remotes around with your family. This is untrue.

The alcohol in this party is sleep deprivation PC gamers have a special event in their social calendar: the LAN party.

The alcohol in this party is sleep deprivation and energy drinks, the music is the sound of explosions and the whizzing of bullets and the hot chicks invited are usually virtual.

This may sound

Believe it or not, it’s not essay deadline day. uninteresting to many but opponent in the eye and at a LAN event for once risk him hitting you for your gamers are the cool kids. victory dance being just that A Local Area Net means bit too obnoxious. plugging all your computers Games feel more hectic together into a network so when strategy is yelled at you can play video games you from all sides: ‘Heal while sitting next to each the fighter!’, ‘There is a spy other. in the base!’ or ‘Kill that Victory is ever sweeter bloody fucking bastard, kill by being able to look your him and teabag his corpse!’

are just a few of the cries that one usually hears.

It certainly says a lot about a PC Gamers’ love of his hobby that he is willing to drag a likely large and unwieldy computer which he risks breaking however far it may take, to play with his peers.

You’ll also see a lot of

A disturbing view of our future Testimonial Russell Hoban RiddleyWalker

utopia using a medieval tone.

In doing so it questions the whole idea of ‘progress’

Poem

by seeing the lust for advancement as a product of man’s unchanging and inexhaustible fascination with power and death.

Maisie-May Lambert Dismembered

Society has returned to iron-age living

His colour palette arouses me - an unspoiled heath.

Hair the tone of congealed blood, rich and dirty.

He’s painted in sombre colours, stolen from Botticelli, with his skin young and sticky, like milk teeth.

‘Its all 1 girt thing bigger nor the worl and lorn and loan and oansome.

Tremmering it is and feart.

‘It puts us on like we put on our cloes. Some times we dont fit. Some times it cant fynd the arm hoals and it tears us a part.’

This is the kind of novel that has always got better with successive rereadings.

For me the haunting images and tongue-rolled sounds of its shattered postapocalyptic world sparked a fascination with the power of folk-telling and its pure enjoyment with putting the parts and rhythms of the spoken word on paper.

understands his solemn beauty. As it droops and browns with traffic fumes and rain, it will smell like him in the morning. Earthy as damp soil, grass and decay.

Richard Scott

Under the pall of a blanket, entwined beneath, I lie breathing in his reek - dark as black tea.

I think of grey fish - fucking on the bed of the sea, giving his eyes their cold clarity. A fresh funeral wreath -

I collect his sounds and colours, each one I have found, I wrap in peacock blue cellophane with ribbon trim; to remind me of his loveliness, when my affection frays.

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beautiful and dark heart of the novel, a brooding linguistic meditation that paints our technological

developers would look the other way if players shared a copy of a game to play together at LAN parties but this practice is dying out.

But hopefully a love of video games and the growth of freeware will mean the party will never have to end.

Brendan Allitt

Friday September 18 2009

Upon first reading, Riddley Walker can be a frustrating experience. Set in a postnuclear society that has returned to iron-age living, the entire novel is written in a broken and phonetic English dialect that frequently has you reading out loud in an attempt to decipher it.

Riddley Walker’s speech is riddled with words and jargon that weave a garbled folklore in which the memory of cities, cars and aeroplanes have become as mythical as Eden, in which mankind controlled the godlike ‘One Big One’ – atomic energy.

Now society is ruled by semi-feudal chieftains called the ‘Pry Mincer’ and ‘Shadder Mincer’, who keep these disturbed stories alive in the form of a travelling Punch and Judy show.

The hard words are worth persevering with.

Once grasped, they become the

altruism among them as they help each other assemble rigs, fix problems or share lifts to the event.

Unfortunately, the LAN party is at risk. New antipiracy measures have led to many games requiring internet access to play with peers and not too long ago it was a given that

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Feature.Richard Hawley.

Richard H

Made in Sh On the verge of delivering album number six, Richard Hawley talks endlessly about his love for the Steel City with Helen Lawson.

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Friday September 18 2009

I

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t might be hard to find an artist with the city of Sheffield more indelibly inked on their output than Richard Hawley. Cast an eye over his discography, and you’ll find reference after reference to the city he grew up in (‘Naked in Pitsmoor’, ‘Kelham Island’), and he’s a fixture in the local consciousness – former member of Pulp, former housemate of local artist Pete McKee, a guest DJ set here, a special edition bottle of Henderson’s Relish there – and he will be playing two intimate gigs in the surrounds of The Crucible to mark its ‘housewarming’ after its closure for refurbishment.

Ostensibly, he’s meant to be talking about the release of his sixth long player, Truelove’s Gutter, but it doesn’t take much for him to rhapsodise about his beloved home. It was returning to here from touring last December that prompted Hawley to make new lifestyle choices, and in turn provided the lyrical fodder for the album.

“I made quite fundamental decisions to not spend too much time watching telly, on the internet or mobile, and I was trying to spend time with people around me. And I discovered that when I was away having a good time or whatever, they were not having such a great time”, he says, with trademark honesty, adding that the “profound effect” of not running away to the internet to avoid tough real-life situations is definitely something that was brought to the record.

Truelove’s Gutter is permeated with a distinct sense of sadness. A glance at the tracklisting reveals imperative after imperative – ‘Don’t Get Hung Up In Your Soul’, ‘For your Lover Give Some Time’ – that leaves you unsure as to whether Hawley means it as universal advice or as a reminder to himself.

‘There’s a spirit in this city that’s unique and not like anywhere else’

With the album due for release (on the back of already positive reviews), and the beginning of yet another tour on the horizon, it might be reasonable to expect some nerves, but Hawley is remarkably laid back and even a tad nonchalant about what people will think of it.

He seems totally content with how he’s “just happened” to make his living, and so seems unconcerned by critics’ responses.

“You can’t control people’s reactions, and I wouldn’t want to if I could. Obviously I hope it does well, but if it doesn’t, I can’t make that happen, y’know”, he says. “From experience, the important part is to satisfy yourself with what you wanted to achieve musically.”

True to form, Hawley recorded, produced and mixed the record on home turf, returning to Yellow Arch Studios and Axis Studies. The idea of taking his w o r k

elsewhere understand ridiculous I played g (Cocker, f from Hawle record for h -there were record that York or wh ‘Fuck it, no before turn serious.

“We’ve g home, thing easily to the city tha made you then all of successful to London, to me, fun not right.

“And Yell great place has probab room in th superb plac the people my life – wh abandon t wrong. It’s sure that whatever s I’ve got s home – you London, im paved with exist, it’s bo Unsurpris holds extre on what he ‘right’ when fierce pride from Sheffi that what Sheffield fix Coles Brot store that to Coles C Records w worked, a – that the homogeniza local shops the grocers “big corpora Tesco, go to massively independen shops like and Rare that’s what and my ma it.”

The sens slightly nos from his son talks passio of what cou “Y’know, to be the S Britain, pro at one tim I’m pleased Thatcher t didn’t ach Sheffield, b look out fo more, and of union.

“Not ‘ though suppose.

- my fa

Hawley:

Sheffield ‘I made quite fundamental decisions to not spend too much time watching telly’

steelworkers and my mum and dad got divorced ‘cos of (the industry) getting destroyed, nearly fucked everything up.

It’s not just my family, but hundreds and thousands of families were just wiped out, the sense of communities, and I just hope that that doesn’t totally disappear.

“There’s a spirit in this city that’s unique and not like anywhere else. It’s a fucking great city, and it’s about time for some hope and belief in each other.”

He was extremely honoured when Sheffield institutions such as Kelham Island Brewery chose to have him on their labels. Henderson’s Relish produced a batch of bottles with his album art on, and he recalls how impressed his dad was: “He said ‘You’ve fuckin’ cacked it now, kid!”, before bursting into laughter again. “A bottle of Hendo’s that’s got your name on it, with my kids putting it on their sausage and mash...fucking hell. That means more than any award to me.”

Hawley wants to do what he can with his tremendous luck.

He talks of being thrilled when people from Sheffield do great things – from the success of his former flatmate and artist Pete McKee, to the worldwide domination by Arctic Monkeys. He talks of wanting to produce bands for free, like he does currently with local upstarts The Hosts, but time is an obvious constraint. For now, he’ll just have to carry on being Richard – the Pitsmoor bloke who just happens to be a bit famous and still eats his chips at the Full Stop Cafe.

No-one around him would let him forget his roots and be bigheaded, even if he wanted to.

“I’ve never chased the dream”, he says. And you believe him, and know that that’s the way he’d prefer it to be.

Hawley’s albums and city landmarks Late Night Final (2001): Album number two took its title from the shout of street vendors of the Sheffield Star newspaper.

Coles Corner (2005): A plague marks the spot of the old Coles Brothers department store at the bottom of Fargate, which was known as the place to meet up with your date for the evening. It’s now a branch of HSBC and a bus stop.

Lady’s Bridge (2007): Turn right out of the Waingate entrance to Castle Market, and you’ll head over the River Don on Lady’s Bridge. It’s the oldest bridge on the river, is Grade II listed, and has so far survived both The Great Sheffield Flood of 1864 and the floodings during the summer of 2007.

Truelove’s Gutter (2009): Hawley: “It’s an ancient Sheffield street, named after a guy called Thomas Truelove. It’s now Castle Street, which joins where the Boardwalk is if you’re walking up that little street from Castle Market.”

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Lowedges (2003): Number three was named after an area on the A61 heading south out of the city.

Friday September 18 2009

elsewhere seems, understandably, to be totally ridiculous to him: “Y’know I played guitar on Jarvis’s (Cocker, former bandmate from Hawley’s stint in Pulp) record for his first solo album -there were considerations to record that in Paris or New York or wherever, and I said ‘Fuck it, no way’”, he laughs, before turning slightly more serious.

“We’ve got to bring it back home, things disappear quite easily to London, and it’s the city that formed you and made you who you are. And then all of a sudden you get successful and take it back to London, and that’s wrong to me, fundamentally, that’s not right.

“And Yellow Arch is such a great place to work and Axis has probably got the best live room in the country. Such a superb place to work and with the people that I’ve known all my life – why would I suddenly abandon them? That’d be wrong. It’s all about making sure that the money or whatever success, whatever I’ve got still comes back home – you don’t run away to London, imagine the streets paved with gold – it doesn’t exist, it’s bollocks.”

Unsurprisingly, Hawley holds extremely strong views on what he considers to be ‘right’ when it comes to the fierce pride he holds in being from Sheffield. It upsets him that what were previously Sheffield fixtures, such as the Coles Brothers department store that gave its name to Coles Corner and Jack’s Records where he once worked, are disappearing – that the city is at risk of homogenization, and that the local shops such as Beanies the grocers are threatened by “big corporate wankers – fuck Tesco, go to Beanies. They’re massively important these independent traders – great shops like Record Collector and Rare and Racy - and that’s what I am, it’s just me and my manager and that’s it.”

The sense of his romantic, slightly nostalgic view of life from his songs surfaces as he talks passionately in defence of what could vanish.

“Y’know, Sheffield used to be the Socialist capital of Britain, probably the world at one time or another, and I’m pleased to see that what Thatcher tried to do, she didn’t achieve it wholly in Sheffield, because people do look out for each other a bit more, and it’s got that sense of union.

“Not ‘union’ politically, though it is political I suppose. I mean community - my family, they’re all

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Feature.TomWrigglesworth interview.

On track for success First impressions of Tom Wrigglesworth make him seem an unlikely champion for social justice, but an encounter with a Nazi-esque train manager on the 10.15 train from Manchester to London awoke the activist within him and formed the basis of his new show. Amy Patricia Smith meets the Sheffield comedian.

W

rigglesworth’s Open Return Letter to R i c h a r d Branson is a David and Goliath tale with a railway-themed edge.

Beautifully told and peppered with his own brand of intelligent witticisms, it left audiences in hysterics when it debuted at this year’s Edinburgh Festival.

The show recounts the fateful journey in which Lena, an old lady travelling to see her grandchildren, is forced to pay over the odds for a new ticket to the tune of £115 by Simon the demonic train manager.

Suitably outraged, Wrigglesworth had a ‘whip round’ for her among his fellow passengers and was duly arrested for begging. The events of the day led him to petition Virgin to ‘make fares fair’, and to create this piece of comedy gold.

Following on from his highly-successful run in Edinburgh, Wrigglesworth is about to embark on a nationwide tour of all “the comedy drawing pins on the map of the UK”. Everything will be kicking off in his hometown on Thursday, October 1, as he opens the Grin Up North comedy festival.

When asked how he

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Friday September 18 2009

‘There’s a northern roughness in Sheffield people that I try to emulate’

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feels about returning to the Steel City and performing in the venue where he believes his grandparents first met, he responds in his typically modest manner merely telling how nervous he is.

Although he has lived in London for over 10 years Sheffield still influences Wrigglesworth, both in his actions and in his writing: “Regarding what happened to me on the train, I suppose Sheffield does have an influence on me because I’d like to say that I’m a kindhearted northerner.

There’s a northern roughness that I like in Sheffield people that I try to emulate when I’m writing jokes.”

It is this side of him that comes through particularly strongly in his show: Wrigglesworth is a natural storyteller, delivering line after line in his charming Yorkshire lilt. This, together with his imaginative turn of phrase, allows his wellwritten stand-up to retain an intimacy that brings some audience members to tears of compassion as well as laughter by the end of his show.

Although his comedy has an outwardly gentle nature it is underlined by a something more substantial. It is this which led him to challenge Virgin, a multi-million pound corporation, over their prices, and the same trait adds a certain depth to his show that many stand-up acts lack.

His is a multi-layered approach to comedy in which seemingly unrelated digressions about pinball machines and Newtonian physics provide the backbone of

the story, and some of the biggest laughs.

T h i s technique played an important role in getting the show noticed at the Edinburgh Fringe. He is now able to add a Best Comedy nomination to his growing list of accolades, which includes winning Channel 4’s ‘So You ThinkYou’re Funny?’ in 2003 and becoming a Chortle ‘Best Newcomer’ nominee in 2004. Regardless of this success, Wrigglesworth is the first to admit that it has not been easy: “The last Edinburgh shows were the biggest and that’s put my profile up much higher than it has ever been before, it’s been a massive step forward but it’s not been particularly quick.”

‘Its very exciting.

It feels like I’ve been paid back for all the hard work’ In typical logical style, Wrigglesworth is - according to his own calculations - on schedule. ‘It usually takes the winners of ‘So You Think You’re Funny?’ between five to eight years before they get nominated for the main Edinburgh award, so although it’s not been a sudden rise, this last Edinburgh has caused a spike in my profile.”

Wrigglesworth is

understandably thrilled with his nomination: “I got whisked off to Italy straight after the festival so last night was the first night I’d sat down and contemplated what had happened, and its very exciting. It feels like I’ve been paid back for all the hard work I’ve done.”

Even with the nomination under his belt, it seems the Edinburgh run of Open Return Letter was not easy: “Suddenly you’ve got more interviews to do, and when you actually read the nominations - for a moment - you believe you can win it, so when you don’t you’re actually disappointed.

The reality is that at the start of the month if someone had said you were going to walk off with a nomination you would have taken it any day.”

Wrigglesworth will be making a few changes to his show before the tour starts, including raising the profile of the

more s e r i o u s aspect to his show: his campaign.

He is keen to point out that the comedy is based on a true story; this did actually happen to him. It spurred him to take on one of the UK’s most powerful companies, and through his campaigning he has succeeded in getting Virgin to introduce ‘Lena’s Law,’ which states that passengers travelling on an off-peak train can now purchase an off-peak ticket.

‘This will be the biggest gig of my life’ Common sense surely, yet this success is just the beginning, Wrigglesworth hopes that ‘Lena’s Law’ will be rolled out to all train companies and has created an online petition (lenaslaw. co.uk) where his audience members can add their voices to his

campaign.

“One thing I certainly will do on the tour dates is keep people up-to-date with the petition because it can’t end with ‘Lena’s Law’. As, hopefully, I make some changes within the train industry I will end the show by explaining whatever those changes are.

For the other tour dates I’m probably going to add a couple of, dare I say, old jokes that are really suitable.

But as I’ve done a lot of shows in Sheffield I feel like I’d be selling the audience short because they might have seen it before.”

Needless to say we should expect something special.

Wriggleswor th anxiously describes the 430-seater Memorial Hall as “the biggest gig of my life so far”.

With talks in the pipeline for projects after the tour and his profile increasing bang on schedule, take the chance to see him now before his undoubtedly triumphant hometown gig in the Arena circa 2012.

Feature.City guide.

Find your way in the city a Studio 1) University Dramat has been th ch ur ch er A form 0 seat theatre converted into a 20e. The student ac and rehearsal sp suTCo stage 9 major theatre company e course of a year, productions in th ich will be here. the majority of wh 2) Students’ Uniondent life. There are ,a The epicentre of stu roughout the week club nights on th a, Film Unit, with em cin student-run tle as £1.80, and tickets from as lit ld during the year several gigs are he d The Octagon. at The Foundry an

3) City H Made up ofall Hall and O two venues: Memor the two, M val Hall. The small ial comedy shemorial, tends to be er of occasional ows but there is als for predomina gig of interest. Ovao the music, operntly reserved for cl l is comedy st a and shows by bigassical 4) Tudor Sars such as Jimmy Carr.

Redevelopmquare Theatres en t on th rounded of e Crucible of Housew f this year with a se will a rm in g events in ries the likes of vol Richard H Sir Ian McKellen ving and awley. a Cinem aller t wroomto find sm films tha e o h S l r e e e a h c h n a T o w l 6) is the p ternati g any This es and in be showines to catch cial s c o relea nlikely t lso chan creen, spe rt are u There are an the big s s and sho else. ic films o m festival ilms, suchrror class ings, fil mes of f special ho screened programreams, a all these them lluloid Sc s well as ket prices or as Ce e season. Ags, the tic ; £4.30 f y movi ue offerin t available y £3 ever uniq e cheapes t and onl are thdent ticke uesday. a stu ay and T Mond

theatre, an exciting programme sicals. mu d an dance, comedy 5) Odeon Cinema based in The only cinema chain to see the nt wa you if so the city, t forking blockbuster movies withoufare then m tra out three quid on a , however it this is your only option h student wit ced pri y is reasonabl .80. tickets available from £4 there is Outside the city centre, tertainment Cineworld at Valley Cen. and Vue at Meadowhall

Overleaf is a map with the pinpoints relating to what’s on this page.

15) Graves Galleryt collection can be Sheffield’s own ar llery, which has found here. The ga e a refurbishment, recently undergon exhibitions and has both temporary ys spanning six permanent displa t. ar of s centurie orks + Access 16) Archipelago W Space orks is a stylish The Archipelago Wntly showing its new gallery curre its new home, an first exhibition in . old cutlery factory Access Spa arts projec ce is a community involved, ret, encouraging peop based and create cycle their old comle to get software. low cost open-sourc puters e 17) Yorksh ir e A rt sp Works ace: Persist ence A purpose b u il t studio com with room plex and craftspfor over sixty artists eo pl e a lo exhibition ngside am programm space. The exhibitionple e co n sists of resi and six-w den in the rece eek shows that take ces ption area place .

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is lery atron of th an te Gal P s 18) Si Cocker is a y, which ha ng Jarvis entre galler us by offeri whilst city-c ational foc ign artists new internncies to forenurturing s up reside same time y also offer d takes at the . The galler al events an talent talks, speci ojects. artist off-site pr Gallery ft part inillennium ign and cra porary 19) M several des smaller, temeast Holds alongside is also at l ion or shows tions. There art exhibit . exhibi ntemporaryng the year one co lation duri instal

Friday September 18 2009

7) The Stockroom A relatively new addition to the city’s live music scene that hosts club nights and gigs with a bit of a twist. Na Zdrove, a evening devoted to Balkan gypsy punk, is a club night found here that is indicative of the Stock Room’s policy of music with more of a niche.

8) The Leadmill A renowned venue with a proud history in live music; you name them, they’ve played here. It continues to have a good number of quality artists passing through its doors and remains a popular choice for its weekly club nights that offer fairly standard playlists but with very cheap drinks.

9) Plug Has three rooms and plenty of variety though is at its best in the dance end of the music spectrum; Saturday night Shuffle frequently bringing in top name DJs with Kissy Sell Out and Aeroplane appearing this semester and both for just a fiver. Besides this, there are lots of other specialist and student nights as well as gigs throughout the week.

10) O2 Academy Opening in April 2008 after a massive refurbishment of the old, disused Roxy Disco, the Academy primarily put on gigs for big name artists. A number of chart-topping artists will play between now and Christmas as well as a few unexpected faces with Yeahs Yeah Yeahs and The Horrors scheduled to play in December, neither of which has sold out yet (so go get a ticket!).

11) DQ It might be on the small side but DQ has some of the city’s best weekly and monthly club nights. It tilts towards more specialist dance music genres with nights covering dubstep, electro, techno, breaks, bassline, Bmore and grime with Club Pony and Threads proving particularly well-attended. There is also a separate, smaller upstairs club that offers more of the same.

12) Corporation Rock music and variations thereof, including metal, hardcore and punk is the main agenda here and the bands that play here tend to fulfil these requirements. However, it occasionally features other types of artists and doubtless you will venture to their Wednesday night Skool Disco at least once during your time in Sheffield.

13) Bungalows & Bears Not really a live music venue, though there is the rare gig every now and then, Bungalows and Bears still puts on some great nights, playing great tunes and they tend to be for free. Not bad if you don’t mind the fairly hefty price of the beer.

14) The Harley Another venue that puts on some worthwhile monthly club nights but also has an incredible line up of artists playing. A number of up-and-coming bands have played here in the past year, including The xx and The Invisible, and it’s a trend that continues into the new academic year with artists like Johnny Foreigner and HEALTH all set to play in the coming months.

Just to help you find your feet here’s a guide to all the entertainment landmarks in ceum has Sheffield.

In the mean time, the Ly

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Reviews.Music.

Three is his magic number Album Jay-Z The Blueprint 3

American Gangster was a strangely low key release: introspective, anecdotal and with no chart aspirations whatsoever. The Blueprint 3 – the announcement of which sent the hype machine into an appropriate state of overdrive, knocking expectations through the roof – is an altogether different kind of proposition, as Jay-Z well knows.

By resurrecting the Blueprint… name Jay is inviting comparison with his past highs and willfully, it seems, addressing his place in popular culture.

And so it’s fortunate that this turns out to be the un-retirement album everybody wanted in the first place. First single ‘D.O.A. (Death of Autotune)’ is a spot-on judgement of

Album

The band who once expressed their eccentricities through powerful piano pieces, poetic lyrics and earth-shattering vocals interspersed with the driving guitars that effortlessly blended aggression, passion, and despair not only seem to have lost their edge but also changed their sense of direction.

Despite having always been primarily a rock band with quirks, Muse have truly flown the nest of contemporary ‘rock’ and moved forward into an unfamiliar world of the ‘nongenre’.

This may all appear to be rather unnerving. The

Fuse.

Friday September 18 2009

Muse The Resistance

10

hip hop’s current failings (“You rappers singing too much / Get back to rap / You T-Painin’ too much”), and although it isn’t quite as threatening as it would like to be, Jay-Z sounds more vital than any multimillionaire pushing his forties has any right to be.

He continues to be just about the only major player in hip hop whose flow has improved with age, filling a weighty 15 tracks with inventive rhythms and effortless wordplay.

One of Jay-Z’s greatest strengths has always been his ear for great hooks, and here he uses his influence as hip hop’s elder statesman to procure the best producers in the business.

Kanye West curates proceedings, indulging his current passion for downbeat electronics and muted beats on ‘Hate’ and ‘Young Forever’ whilst updating his College Dropout-sound for the sophisticated shuffle of ‘Already Home’.

Better still, West’s old mentor No ID reminds us Resistance at first appears to be taking the same route as its predecessor Black Holes and Revelations, with current single ‘Uprising’ winding through a reworked Doctor Who theme tune before blasting into verses about distrust and rebellion. This familiar theme is continued throughout the album and particularly in the frantic ‘Unnatural Selection’ and the Queen-esque ‘United States of Eurasia’. No prizes for guessing what Matt Bellamy’s been reading.

The title track is the album’s dark horse.

‘Resistance’ begins with an ominous piece of ivory tinkling akin to ‘Starlight’ before an argument between the collective Muse conscious over right and wrong takes hold. After being lulled into the sense of this mediocre Muse security, the track soars with an overwhelming sense of urgency, teasing us with an aspect of the band’s past.

It doesn’t take long to realise that this album aims to shock and surprise. In the press, comparisons to Queen have been made and in a sense, they were not wrong.

The Resistance is wonderfully ridiculous but maintains the accessibility that Queen’s music had. It pays tribute to all genres loved and loathed; it is a homage of gigantic proportions (complete with a loved-up Bellamy singing en Francais in the endearing ‘I Belong To You’).

From soaring power ballads through to slick slices of mechanical R’n’B

just how dull Autotune is by coating ‘Thank You’ and ‘D.O.A’ with New Orleans brass and squealing guitars.

But if a new Blueprint… is about proving Jay-Z’s relevance, Timbaland’s presence here is something of an ironic mis-step. If Jay really wants to welcome us “to the future” (in ‘Off That’), why does he choose to do so with a producer fast slipping into chart-chasing stagnation?

Once responsible for the likes of ‘Big Pimpin’’ and ‘Dirt Off Your Shoulder’, today’s Timbaland is lazy and uninspired.

One bad egg can’t ruin what is essentially a really good omelette, however; whilst The Blueprint 3 lacks the superb narrative drive of American Gangster – and the repeated reminders of “10 number one albums” can sometimes make it feel like an extended press release – it’s both hugely entertaining and has everyone talking about Jay-Z again. Which was surely the point.

Jeremy Peel and into the colossal threepart symphony (which reminds us that underneath it all, the pre-Black Holes… band we knew is still there), Muse have pushed the boundaries once again for what it means to be a ‘rock band’, although it won’t be to everyone’s taste.

Natasha Parker

Album Yo LaTengo Popular Songs

This year marks 25 years of the New Jersey three-piece Yo La Tengo. Perhaps having a frontman and drummer who are married goes some way to explaining their longevity, but it seems more significant that despite boasting a vast body of work, (now numbering 12 studio albums under the Yo La Tengo moniker), their style is nothing if not diverse.

The title Popular Songs is undoubtedly ironic (despite a dedicated fanbase, they remain very much a cult favourite) but from the outset there are certainly fewer of the imposing 10 minute guitar jams that bookended 2006’s I Am Not Afraid Of You And I Will Beat Your Ass. For much of the album these are missed. The songs are less exploratory and fail to build in the way that was so gripping before.

‘If It’s True’ is a meandering, sub-Belle & Sebastian Life Pursuit fare while ‘All Your Secrets’ spoils itself with a painful keyboard solo and tedious

“do-do-do”-ing.

Bright spots do remain: ‘Here To Fall’ utilises strings and cymbals to make an absorbing album opener, while the delicate ‘When It’s Dark’ follows previous highlights of their back catalogue in having Georgia take the vocal lead.

And they come good in the (very long) end; the final three tracks totalling 37 minutes. ‘More Stars Than There Are In Heaven’ is classic Yo La Tengo, Ira and Georgia’s gossamer-thin vocals swelling together, and ‘The Fireside’ is sparse and ambient, somehow spreading itself out to 12 minutes.

Ira Kaplan’s considerable talent as a guitarist is disappointingly not given the same opportunity on this record as on the braver and more outspoken previous album. However, on final track ‘And The Glitter Is Gone’ he is given freedom to roam, and out come the squealing solos, providing a stark contrast to all that came before.

Backed by a powerful tribal drumbeat, it’s a shame this return to form is left until the end; you wonder how many will make it that far.

Yo La Tengo can be

somewhat intimidating to the uninitiated; whilst this isn’t the record anyone new to their work should head for first, it has its place. Another 25 years may be pushing it, but hopefully there’s life in this band yet.

Ffion Thomas

Album Megadeth Endgame

The pioneers of thrash metal are back with the album fans have been patiently waiting for. Endgame is Megadeth at their best; full of epic shredding solos, dominant bass-lines and precise ear-pounding drumming. It also sees the debut of new guitarist Chris Broderick, making a match made in metal heaven with Dave Mustaine’s vigorously rousing riffs.

When Mustaine was sacked from Metallica back in 1983, after being the lead guitarist for two years, he said: “After getting fired from Metallica, all I remember is that I wanted

blood. Theirs. I wanted to be faster and heavier than them”.

With 11 released albums – six of which went Platinum – and seven Grammys for Best Metal Band, Megadeth proved that Mustaine could get by just fine without Lars and co.

Continuing the trend, Endgame still manages to sound as fresh and inspiring as the gems they released in the ’90s.

The album’s proficient introduction Dialetic Chaos is an epic instrumental that shows the skilled partnership of Broderick and Mustaine, recalling the bond with former guitarist Marty Friedman who left the band in 1999.

The track ploughs straight into ‘This Day We Fight!’ with aggression and speed that gives Iron Maiden a run for their money and Mustaine’s infamous growling vocals.

‘1,320’ and ‘Bite The Hand’ show how metal solos should be done; hard, fast and powerful, while ‘Bodies’ is a bit subtler with its aggression.

Endgame begins with a shouted “Attention!

Attention! All citizens report to your district detention centres! Do not return to your homes!” It is one of the darker songs both sonically and lyrically.

‘How The Story Ends’ is another melodic gem, with hammering double-bass drums that lead into the booming bassline of ‘The Right to go Insane’.

Metal Hammer has already called it the album of the year, so if you want some thrash in your life, look no further than the band that taught the world how it’s done.

Kristi Genovese

Reviews.Music.

Best Case scenario with a crisper performance than perhaps expected from a support band. In the completely seated venue, Ronick comments on the subdued nature of the crowd - an atmosphere he says he is not used to performing to.

Their set ends on ‘Canyon’ and ‘The Comedown’, slow tempo pieces with big finishes and poignant lyrics from Ronick.

Headliner Neko Case continues with the subdued atmosphere when she slouches onto stage.

Looking a little worse for wear, Case looks a lot less glamorous than how she appears on her album covers, blaming her appearance on being jetlagged.

However, any elements of tiredness disappear when Case begins to sing; her beautiful melodies soar throughout the music hall as she performs tracks from latest effort Middle Cyclone.

She performs her own unique blend of American country, folk, indie and blues, with her backing band (formerly known as The Boyfriends) complimenting Case’s voice on an array of different instruments ranging from cello to acoustic guitar.

Famed for infusing humour into her performances, the witty interludes begin early after Case keeps on dashing on and off stage, joking in a southern American drawl that she is having an affair with tour manager James.

Commenting on the superior sound the music hall provides, Case treats the audience to a set of tracks she would not normally be able to perform; including a song for her dad, joking that he is “so dead he doesn’t even appreciate it.”

With cheers from the audience - the first sign of slight rowdiness in the entire evening - Case moves onto a Harry Nilsson cover, then finishes on an acoustic

Gig Gallery

of their own signature sound to the classic ’80s hit. Their unsigned status seems a shame, as they probably have the same stage presence and certainly the talent to be up with the big guns.

Samuel Valdes Lopez

Live Neko Case + Black Gold The Royal Northern College of Music 10/09/2009 Commonly used as a venue to showcase classical music, tonight sees the Royal Northern College of Music playing host to two great live bands.

The evening began with a performance from Black Gold, a duo that includes keyboardist Eric Ronick of Panic At The Disco! fame and drummer Than Luu. Their performance could not be any more removed from Ronick’s musical roots, combining indie-rock with crafty pop lyrics and catchy hooks.

With both musicians having the experience of playing to large crowds, they provide the audience

Live The Computers Corporation 8/09/2009

We Have Band Plug 12/09/2009 Hailing from London, the trio flexed their musical muscles with a combination of excessive signal processed keyboards, live drumming and an interesting choice of bass playing.

In some instances, it was hard to separate samples

and live instruments, so that the line blurring between analogue and digital sound disappeared. Their single ‘You Came Out’ (aka: the one with the scary video) was quite welcomed by the audience, with quite a few crowd members starting to bust out moves.

Following their support acts’ apparent theme of covers being bandied about, We Have Band closed their set with the Pet Shop Boys’ ‘West End Girls’.

It’s not a ground-breaking cover, but it does add enough

Samuel Valdes Lopez

stunning performance Neko Case put on tonight.

Live

Singles 21-8/09

The MenThey Couldn’t Hang + Dead Like Harry Plug 11/09/2009

A conjoining of talents between Shakira and the lead moaner of indie-funk also-rans The Bravery sounds like a hellish monster of Cloverfield-like proportions, but ‘She-Wolf’ has, against the odds, emerged as a lycanthropic masterpiece.

Neon-bright guitars weave through a strangely bleak production job, featuring a minimalist drum track, unsettlingly multi-tracked vocals and, yes, a genuine howl mid-chorus.

Replete with lyrics as leftfield as they are hilarious (“I’m starting to feel just a little abused / like a coffee machine in an office”), Shakira’s reinvention may just have odd-pop princess Lady Gaga trembling in her artfully-lopsided crown.

Indeed, ‘She-Wolf’ is going head-to-head with Gaga’s ‘LoveGame’. Heavy on synth and questionable lyrics - “Lets have some fun this beat is sick / I wanna take a ride on your disco stick” - it’s exactly what we’ve come to expect from her over the past year.

Mercury Music Prize winner Speech Debelle provides the polar opposite to Shakira with the chirpy, piano and brass driven

‘Spinnin’’, but we can’t help but feel she’s her best when she’s bitter.

Moving further North, the swaggerific King Monkey Ian Brown returns with slow-burning lead single ‘Stellify’ from new album My Way. Complete with steady drums, pounding piano and sporadic bursts of brass, this is typical Brown, but refreshingly so.

The-Dream has, until now, been known only as the man behind Rihanna’s ‘Umbrella’, and as such great things should be expected from his sci-fi lovefest ‘Walking on the Moon’.

Sadly, his soaring vocal leads us into what sounds like an ill-advised R‘n’B reworking of ‘Come on Eileen’, saved from the brink only by a lengthy guest spot from a certain Kanye West. Kanye is firing on all cylinders here, clearly relishing a return to his womanizing guest-spot shtick. If only that charm had been present on-stage at the VMAs. Meanwhile, Deadmau5 continues to prevent trance from sliding sideways into idiocy, following up the sublime ‘I Remember’ with ‘Ghosts N Stuff’, a track with more organ-based hit potential than ‘A Whiter Shade of Pale’. Fortunately The Enemy are back to equalise the intellectual spectrum of new music: ‘Be Somebody’ sees them revert to Jam-apeing autopilot and boasts a video featuring thousands of sing-a-long fans. Just who are these people?

Plug went all-Americana with two groups who just need a Stetson hat and a southern drawl to complete the night’s country feel.

Opening act Dead Like Harry certainly know their way with their polished altcountry. The small crowd was enthusiastic about their short but sweet set. Their future looks promising, as they’ve already earned the endorsesment of one Steve Lamacq.

Barely 20 minutes had passed when it was time for the seasoned country rock of The Men They Couldn’t Hang. The punk attitude that characterises them oozed through their working class inspired lyrics, referring to social problems and economic crisis.

An a capella interlude, preceded by a cover of Bob Marley’s ‘Redemption Song’ – both courtesy of singer Swill – were the standout pieces of their set.

Not wanting to be left behind, co-singer Stefan Cush also performed a solo bit, which he planned to expand until he was rejoined by the rest of the band, much to his dismay and amusement.

Constant interaction with the audience and some self-deprecating jabs were present through out their set, with the audience rewarding them with a pogo dance circle constantly moving for their last three songs.

Samuel Valdes Lopez

Alexandra Rucki

Fuse.

Live

being so polite, but perhaps even the most unruly of audiences would have been caught dumbstruck by the

Friday September 18 2009

Max Tundra thrills the 2 Poor 2 Pitch festival crowd at The Harley on September 6.

Photo: Sam Bennett

Fast, trashy rock was handed out at Corporation as The Computers played a very short and extremely intense show.

The first salvo was fired by support band Roper, whose fiery attitude kickstarted the night. Following their lead and duplicating their energy were Actionieroffshoot Kimmy Yeah, who continued the aggressive feeling.

Their instruments (actually borrowed from The Computers) certainly bore the blunt of their rage, as a couple of bass strings didn’t survive the night.

It was then time for The Computers, all dressed in white and fresh full of fast songs. Between their screaming and punching riffs came a strange surprise: a harmonica solo.

This may on paper sound like chalk and cheese, but it actually intertwined perfectly with the mad rhythm.

After 20 minutes of rapid and furious screaming, with the singer spending pretty much the whole gig mingling with the audience, they cheerfully announced they had no more songs; finishing the set as abruptly as it started.

encore with latest hit ‘This Tornado Loves You’.

It is amusing when she comments on Manchester

11

Preview.Media.

Forge TV hits union screens Introduction ForgeTV

Fuse.

Friday September 18 2009

The current students among you are probably already aware of the Forge Press, Forge Radio and ForgeToday.com, the university’s student newspaper, radio station and website respectively that make up the student media output of the Students’ Union. However, there is now a fourth arm of Forge Media with the creation of Forge TV. Re-launched this year with a new image and premise, Forge TV will run as a continuous stream rather than being a collection of short style videos.

Working as a magazinestyle show in the type of T4, the broadcasts will be made up of several different programmes linked together with studio segments featuring continuity presenters.

The belief is that under this plan, Forge TV will feel like a proper TV channel experience and will be superior in keeping viewer interest than a YouTube format which suffers simply by being a more

12

It’s not a nine to five job, especially as the clocks are wrong. amateur imitation of more established brands.

The broadcasts, which will be updated every week, will be shown on the TV screens around the Union building and can also be viewed online at ForgeToday.com.

Now to the important matter: what will be on the box?

Beyond simple news and sport bulletins, the first show will comprise a live recording of local band The Crookes, who recently

released their debut single ‘A Collier’s Wife/By The Seine’ and have played a live session for the Steve Lamacq radio show, and an interview with Jane McDonald from ITV’s Loose Women.

Oi! Fancy a career in the media?

Say hello to

Programmes for future transmissions include chat shows, a music chart show and a documentary following this year’s participants on Baby Bummit.

By the end of the year, the team behind Forge TV hope

to be doing live feeds of the Varsity competition.

Like the other existing media outlets, Forge TV will be entirely created by student volunteers and will be relying on plenty of people getting involved.

Sound and camera technicians, floor managers, presenters; any role you can think of that might be required in a TV studio, they’re looking for students to fill it.

Or perhaps you want to create your own TV show?

No problem. Simply submit your concept and plan to the Forge TV committee, and successful applicants will be allocated a production team to help them make their show and will also have access to the studio and other facilities Forge TV can offer.

The station is particularly keen for societies to get involved and create their own shows, whether it be a creative society wishing to showcase its talent or any other society wanting to communicate what it does to a wider audience.

All in all, it’s an exciting new era for student media at our Union that you can play an active role in or just sit back and enjoy.

Alistair White

Whether you’re a budding journalist, broadcaster, photographer, DJ, graphic designer, camera operator, radio producer, director, web developer, podcaster, artist or outand-out media mogul, you’ve come to the right place.

The University of Sheffield is home to the finest student media in all the land! Forge Media is made up of Forge Radio, Forge TV, Forge Press and Forgetoday.com. You don’t need any prior experience to get involved and we’re always on the lookout for new contributors.

To find out more, come along to our welcome meeting or email getinvolved@forgetoday.com

meeting Forge Media welcome pm Mon Sept 28th, 5-6 Chemistry LT 1

www.forgetoday.com

Reviews.Screen.

A beauty from Blomkamp Film District 9 Out Now

The science-fiction genre has been flat lining for quite a number of years now. This year however, we may just be witnessing its resurrection. First came the directorial debut of Duncan Jones who delivered Moon, a thought-provoking and thrilling film which went someway to resuscitating the genre. With District 9, first time director Neill Blomkamp has breathed more life into the genre.

Much like Jones’ project however, his venture is a huge risk, especially with only a meagre $30million budget. But then again, if someone like Peter Jackson has put his faith in Blomkamp, we probably should have never doubted him in the first place.

The film is set in Johannesburg, South Africa, where in 1982 an alien mothership mysteriously appeared above the city.

After months of deliberation by the South African government it is decided

that a military force will be sent into the ship; and, upon investigation, around 1.8million malnourished aliens are found on board.

The aliens are contained in District 9, an area segregated from the human race, but before long tension arises between humans and aliens (who are now known by the derogatory term, prawns). As a result the government assign MultiNational United (MNU), a private military contractor, to relocate the prawns to District 10, with Wikus Van De Merwe (Sharlto Copley) in charge of alien relocation.

Whilst on a routine search of a prawn’s shack (the home of alien Christopher Johnson) Wikus finds an canister which sprays a black liquid in his face which alters his DNA, slowly transforming Wikus into an alien.

He becomes a fugitive and flees to District 9. He hides out in Christopher’s shack and is initially met with hostility, until they are brought together by a common need for the black liquid which is in the hands of MNU. What is striking about the film is its authenticity.

Blomkamp’s documentary style of directing and use

Film Dorian Gray Out Now

Melissa Gillespie

Film The Hurt Locker Out Now

Amid the dust of the desert and the controversy of the Iraq war, there was always a story waiting to be told.

Enter Kathryn Bigelow’s The Hurt Locker – a film that documents the reality of the war through the eyes of three bomb disposal

specialists and which is nothing short of a modern masterpiece.

It is the depiction of the main character Sergeant James (played by little known Jeremy Renner) that stopped my usual midviewing fidgeting.

James has disarmed over 800 bombs and, as a result, is seriously messed up. And yet, as he pushes himself further towards the brink, he seems to do so to test himself. Almost willing himself to break, he knows little anymore than the bomb disposal suit which, in one poignant scene, he opts to sleep in.

The Hurt Locker is nothing short of a masterpiece James’ detachment is offset brilliantly by his mentally unstable fellow soldier Eldridge. Every time the team go out on patrol he is close to breaking down as the pressures and fears of war wear him to the bone.

The third member of the triad is Sergeant Sandborn – not another extreme example of a broken man but instead the everyman – he wants to do his job, do it well and go home alive.

The Hurt Locker offers so much more than the expected explosions and

bad guys; it is a thoughtful and poignant study of soldier psychology and the horrors of war.

Jenny Durant

Film Dead Snow Special Screening

Celluloid Screams is a brand new film festival that runs from 23rd-25th October at the Showroom Cinema.

Devoted to horror from around the world, the event presents a mix of 15 new and classic feature films plus 15 shorts. Many of which should be unknown to even hardcore horror fans.

As part of the build up to the festival, Forge Screen was invited to a special screening of a new horrorcomedy, Dead Snow.

Take a moment to think about what elements you would need to make the greatest horror movie of all time. Nazis? Zombies?

Norwegians? Well, maybe the last one does not instantly spring to mind, but Dead Snow actually does take these elements and forms a surprisingly good scary movie.

Typical of the genre, a group of young Norwegian medical students trek out to a remote mountain cabin for their Easter holidays and ignore the creepy

Mark Clement local man’s warning of the woods.

The first half of the film is a standard affair full of horror clichés: monsters lurking in shadows and people frequently going missing are amongst the tiresome plot developments.

The film appears to be taking itself very seriously and stumbles along because of that very reason. One or two comedic moments lighten the tone, but it is not until the real action starts that it begins to get interesting.

Fuse.

society through Lord Henry Wotton (Colin Firth), who inspires him to seek all of life’s pleasures, good and bad, without remorse.

Through Wotton’s corrupting chatter, Dorian manages to sell his soul, where it oddly transfers to Basil’s painting. As Dorian revels in life, the painting becomes a metaphor for his tainted soul as it scars, ages and rots away into a hideous disfigured Dorian, whilst the genuine one remains eternally fresh and youthful.

Parker does manage to achieve a gorgeous gothic milieu, with wintry hues and bleak storms, remaining faithful to the dark atmosphere created in the novel. This is however marred by the painting which fails to ever truely scare.

Whilst Parker attempts to spice things up having Dorian participate in risqué rendezvous, homosexual

relations and some S&M sessions, somehow Ben Barnes struggles to fulfil his role as Dorian and create that spark that makes the character so charming.

Dorian needs to be impossibly charismatic and equally mysterious, but he has no alluring characteristics, such as that penetrating Keanu Reaves stare, or that curious Johnny Depp smile. Barnes is dull, and simply has that androgynous prettiness that only teenage girls will croon for.

It appears that Wilde’s wit has been lost to these wooden performances and the melodramatic mess of a plot. Dorian Gray may have been successful on the small screen as a period drama, where it may have lived up to smaller expectations, but on the big screen it is a mere disappointment.

future is looking bright.

There is a new wave of film nerd who are going back to basics; drawing on the gritty and not the slick. Like in Jones’ ‘Moon’, we see ideas and character study come to the fore, leaving the hollow, overblown ‘epics’ to Hollywood egotists with too much money and not enough sense.

Friday September 18 2009

“Everything is possible for you Dorian because you have the only two things worth having - youth and beauty” (Henry Wotton).

In an era thoroughly obsessed with seeking physical perfection never has a quote from a film held so much significance for today’s society.

As a director Oliver Parker has had plenty of practice at bringing to life some of the greatest works of fiction on the big screen.

After An Ideal Husband and The Importance Of Being Earnest, Dorian Gray is now his third Oscar Wilde adaptation, so as an audience you would be expecting something spectacular. Third time lucky, right? Well, you would be wrong.

It starts promisingly, with a captivating opening sequence of a murder, and then the film rapidly rewinds a year, introducing us to the orphaned Dorian Gray arriving in Victorian London to claim his inheritance.

It is here that his startling good looks are recognised

by Basil Hallward (Ben Chaplin), who paints his portrait in order to capture his beauty forever, and where he is introduced to the raucous side of London

Wikus is restrained and forced to partake in medical testing by the MNU. of hand-held cameras along with it whilst being District 9 is that it is certainly works brilliantly, whilst the splattered with human nothing revolutionary, and CGI is expertly handled by scalp. it lacks originality to be Jackson’s special effects Blomkamp also opts for a even considered great. company, WETA Workshop. largely unknown cast which It is true that the picture However, perhaps the helps in keeping with the pays homage to 80s sci-fi greatest achievement is how documentary style. classics that have paved a slick and clean production For his first feature film, the way for the likes of has been rejected in favour Copley pulls off a convincing Blomkamp, various nods of a gritty and gruesome performance as Witkus and are given to classics such one.

Christopher is the most as The Fly, and Robocop, The hand-held cameras likeable aliens since E.T. yet it is not the first to do so don’t masterfully track the A criticism, albeit a harsh and will not be the last. action but frantically trudge one, that can be levelled at For the sci-fi fan the

The finale, a battle between the survivors and an army of Nazi undead, perfectly blends bloody violence with amusing nods to other famous horror films, and all set to a unique Norwegian soundtrack.

Dead Snow may not be as funny as Shaun of The Dead or as thrilling as Evil Dead 2, but it does have a relatively successful blend of horror and comedy that makes it watchable.

Alexander Sherwood

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Games.Reviews.

Maddening similarities

Console Madden Xbox 360 and PS3

to punt the ball.

With the new online features it soon becomes obvious that this is a must have for NFL fans, but after a game or two it is clear just

how accessible the new tweaks have made this new Madden to everyone else.

Online

Handheld

Champions Online PC and 360

Professor Layton and the Pandora’s Box Nintendo DS

solving a series of baffling narrative knots you find along the way. For example: a rich woman has lost her son on the train, the only clue you have is a tiny shoe.

This of course reminds Layton of a contrived logic puzzle. Solving that, you go to look in the train’s kitchen where you find a hat, which reminds Luke of an unrelated maze anecdote/ puzzle. And so forth and so on.

That might sound infuriatingly oblique and pointless, but detached as the story sometimes feels, the look of the game combined with a mildly witty script, and a bucket load of charm keeps you hanging in. Neat animé cut scenes, competent voice acting, and an occasionally perverse sense of humour also helps grease the cogs of in-game progress.

Those who absolutely hate conundrums, anagrams or any kind of mental exercise would be well advised to go running and screaming from this, as they did their GCSE Math exams. For those who quietly enjoy killing a sudoku in a spare minute or five should find themselves right at home. The puzzles are on occasion infuriatingly fuzzy, and their logic would scarcely pass the rigour of your average exam board.

New to this version is a built-in note pad where players can jot away to their hearts content. Which helps, but that’s it in terms of new stuff. You can’t quite say “don’t fix what ain’t broke” because the original was far from perfect, but this latest installment is a welcome addition in the no man’s land of the tweenie dominated DS games market.

Pete Walsh

Wouldn’t it be nice to be faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound and maybe sleep with Wonder Woman? You can do all this (except the last one) and more in Cryptic’s latest Massively Multiplayer Online RPG: Champions Online.

Unfortunately for the developers their previous game City of Heroes was also a superhero MMO and so it is difficult to look critically at the new game without thinking about the old. Champions is certainly prettier. The bright colours and bold lines make it look like a comic book page in motion. However, the game is highly demanding relative to its graphics and many gamers will be unable to see their heroes in all their high resolution glory.

The character creator is incredibly robust and is a game in itself, however it’s often difficult to translate exactly the image you have of your potential alter ego in your head into a virtual avatar. This is made even more difficult by locking many costume parts until acquired in game. The tool has more freedom with body and face shape compared to City of Heroes but heroes has the advantage of having much more content from free updates after release. One can only hope Champions receives similar treatment.

Fuse.

Friday September 18 2009

A month before the new NFL season kicks off comes the timely release of Madden 10. Having played either of the past two year’s versions will prepare you well.

With a very similar control setup and the basics being mostly the same as before, veterans can jump straight in.

This year the balance is better than ever, with the new ‘Pro Tak’ control system everything is more intuitive, and the player has vastly more impact on the game. This allows up to nine players to be involved in a single tackle and gives you the chance to fight for each yard until you hit the floor.

Everything has been streamlined with a better play selection screen and more reliable AI players.

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Even the injury system has been improved, allowing the game to continue, and giving you a choice about what to do with the injury along with a recommendation.

Other additions include a revolutionary online franchise mode, this is entirely server based, allowing for regular updates

by EA, and many multiplayer franchise options not available in any other NFL game.

The highlights at both half time and full time are presented well, but are also concise and easy to skip.

This new release gives some focus to a more realistic broadcast of highlights and current season news which appeals mainly to NFL fans.

But the slow bombardment of statistics and facts present in any EA sports game is actually slightly interesting for a slightly less avid follower.

The game is not entirely without flaws however, for the regular Madden player, the commentary has always become repetitive.

This year’s is no exception, in general it is a slight improvement from last year, but still not great.

Also as in previous years on rare occasions the AI can

become a little confused, causing what should be a brief punting play to take far too long, leaving you staring at two fairly stationary teams waiting for the CPU

Apparently fashion sense is deemed less of a threat than velociraptors.

Combat is a refreshing step away from the usual MMO affair of power cooldowns and mana.

Instead your initial power is an energy builder which with each hit gives you more stamina to use your other abilities which may be charged to increase their effect. Movement and line of sight affect the damage which you take from enemy attacks along with the ability to block which also makes you feel more involved in combat.

This is unfortunately squandered by the triviality of death in game. If the forces of darkness prevail you are instantly revived at a respawn point with only a minor debuff which will be gone in after a few minutes of play. This removes all sense of tension from battles and often leads to a lazy play style.

The power sets suffer

from a similar problem. The City of Villains expansion brought interesting and off the wall power types like mastermind to the Heroes franchise which was already entertaining but Champions fails to even ape this. Since your hero can pick and choose from any power group it seems Cryptic have been forced to make them all rather mundane.

The majority of the powers are standard damage dealers with the odd minor buff or debuff and abilities such as summoning pets and healing your allies are broken and ineffective.

Also since all powers are accessible very early into your heroes career there is little to look forward to in his growth.

The only revelatory feature in the game is the Nemesis system. At level 25 chatting to the right NPC gives you the ability

to design an archvillain.

This purveyor of doom was born to make your life miserable. He will appear at the most unexpected and inopportune moments to foil whatever plans for the day you might have. Unlike the other enemies you face you’ll find yourself noticeably happy to punch, blast or freeze your nemeses’ face in.

Overall the game is a fun romp but it lacks the lasting appeal of many other MMORPGs. With many great titles on the way in the coming months and a plethora of new MMOs coming next year then it’d probably best to give this a pass unless you’ve never played City of Heroes or you need something to scratch that infernal World of Warcraft itch.

Brendan Allitt

With barely a year since its UK release comes the next adventure in what promises to be a tetralogy of NDS puzzle-based games.

Professor Layton is the top-hatted archaeologist who seemingly can’t order a cup of tea without having a cryptic problem tossed his way. Lord knows why he would consider travelling; with all the ridiculous hurdles he has to pass just to get down the street, but travel he will, and with his budding apprentice Luke in tow, Layton sets off on the luxurious Molentary Express in search of the Elysian Box. Nestling in the strange middle ground between point-and-click adventure and brain training games we find Layton’s unique formula. Exploring diverse locations illustrated in the style of the film Belleville Rendezvous you spend your time tapping away on the DS touch screen, hunting for trinkets, problems and clues towards

Mike Walden

Reviews.Arts.

In pursuit of life’s fortunes

Theatre Rain Man Lyceum

Better get this out the way – I haven’t seen the Rain Man film. I know: I’m an uncouth ignoramus. I always seem to miss it when it’s on telly.

And it constantly pops up in those ‘classic films’ chats where I find myself nodding glassy-eyed, mumbling “Yeah, autism, Tom Cruise, brill…has anyone seen Jurassic Park?”

After some consideration I decided to keep it that way, and went to watch the stage-adaption with an open-mind. And I’m glad I did: the production was dramatic yet subtle, full of laughs, and very entertaining, with no need for pre-conceptions or prior knowledge of the story.

For those other uncouth ignoramuses out there, the story follows Charlie Babbit (Oliver Chris) after finding out his loathed father has died. But even beyond death his father still makes life miserable when he leaves Charlie just rosebushes and a car. Not bad, botanistmechanics might say, but the multi-million dollar

estate his father owned goes to someone else.

After super-sleuth detective work (well, asking his dad’s friend), Charlie discovers he has a longlost brother, Raymond (Neil Morrissey), who is autistic and has savant abilities.

Cue Charlie ‘kidnapping’ his brother from his institution and taking him to Los Angeles in an attempt to get at some of the fortune he’s missing.

Unsurprisingly, throughout the course of their misguided roadtrip the self-centred and boorish Charlie softens as he becomes attached to his brother. Well, he calls him a “fucking retard” far less frequently, which is progress.

The two leads are nicely cast. Oliver Chris, perhaps best known for playing likeable characters in The Office and Green Wing, hurls abuse at anything and anyone, seeming to relish being cast against type, as he is for three-quarters of the time detestable.

Neil Morrissey, likeable as Tony from Men Behaving Badly, less likeable as himself in a documentary about making beer, is terrific too. His dedication to the character’s autistic traits is impressive: the lack of eye contact, rocking

Oliver Chris and Neil Morrissey take the lead roles in the West End production of Rain Man. and muttering routines are stuff developed fantastically contrived emotional hit the excellent West End played intelligently and on stage and it never felt after hit. production actually, so never over-the-top. like you were watching a So now, when I’m asked there.

The classic story of odd- pointless time-filling scene if I’ve seen the film, I can couples teaching each other or being made to endure be smug and say no, I saw Luke Temple

Audience

Book

An Evening with Clive James Lyceum

Home: A Personal Geography of Sheffield

by Carl Lee

Laurence Peacock

Gallery Timorous Beasties A Bird in the Hand Millennium

Comprised of a flock of vintage chairs, a cluster of ornate lampshades, and a large mattress, The Bird in the Hand exhibition at the Millennium Gallery is, in many ways, unorthodox.

On first glance, a William Morris style of symmetrical, colourful patterning dominates the upholstery that so eagerly invites the viewer to sit upon it. As you move closer, be prepared for a surprise as this initially pleasant pretence of flowers and perhaps a woodland creature, quickly reveals its true identity: dismembered insects and sinister undergrowth are finally granted their share of artistic limelight and recognition.

Following the realisation of the irony that accompanies the artists’ work, one begins to realise the significance of the message it carries. If art is, a reaction to the world in which we live, why should the butterfly take precedence over the moth? The design

Sara Jaspan

Gallery Out of the Ordinary Spectacular Craft Millennium Spectacular Craft is exposition of modern art made from everyday utensils and materials. With a range of traditional hand crafts on display, all the featured artists manage to make something as simple as paper cutting or lace grandly intricate, successfully combining idea and execution where much modern art fails.

Take for example Chinese artist Lu Shengzhong and his cascade of little paper figures. His installations introduce the exhibition and are handmade using only a scalpel, a rainforest’s worth of red paper (a symbol of good luck in China) and a meditative reserve of patience. Meanwhile Anne Wilson creates fractal arrangements from day to day embroidery materials, placing objects together in a seemingly chaotic but evidently ordered postminimalist fashion.

Spectacular Craft is a collection of alternate art strange enough to defy categorization, but still maintaining a semblance of technique and idea, intertwined.

Fuse.

Clive James: Better than your granddad.

Obama: “a cross between Jesus Christ and Denzel Washington.”

James described how his decision to leave television came from wanting more of a connection with his audience than he found in the TV studio, and although he recognized the discussion was mainly with himself, the success of the evening was largely a result of James’ enthusiasm to talk freely of affairs past and present, to modestly offer his view on things, and talk to the audience in a question and answer session. There was no show, no theatrics, no swearing, nor were they necessary, and, judging by the applause, nor were they desired. Clive James is famous not out of notoriety or ostentation but because he’s good at what he does: thinking, talking and engaging. Like your granddad, just a bit cooler.

At first, Home is a little difficult to get into for those unfamiliar with Sheffield outside of the ‘student enclave’, but soon begins to touch base with locales and topics close to the city’s heart.

It is the latter half of the book that is probably most enlightening here, as Lee takes us around Fulwood, Broomhill, the nationally infamous Manor Estate, and the clubs and stalled leisure developments of the City Centre. Along the way we learn about Sheffield’s unique history as the ‘Home of Football’, the eclectic faces of the vibrant music scene, and the heart of the steel industry.

For veteran students, the book provides a wealth of background to names, neighbourhoods and landmarks which have taken on an almost intimate familiarity for us, but about which we may still know surprisingly little.

For freshers, it’s a great way to grab hold of some interesting titbits to impress your new friends with as you tramp up and down these unexplored territories in the year to come. Home can be

Gavin Abrams

label, Timorous Beasties, seems to have embarked upon a mission to correct this, making the ugly and mundane appealing and interesting. By arranging such ‘beasties’ in a manner similar to Morris-esque 19th century style art and textile, they highlight our ‘insect prejudices’ as we move closer and discover that appealing pattern is comprised of slugs.

The name of the exhibition derives from the once popular saying: “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” which a quick google revealed as meaning, “it’s better to have a small actual advantage than the chance of a greater one.” From my understanding I took this as a comment on how we fail to appreciate the beauty that already surrounds us, and should learn to see it, rather than insularly admiring the conventionally attractive.

Friday September 18 2009

No jokes, no set, no special effects. An Evening with Clive James began mainly with disclaimers. Our host was keen to be clear that this was not a one night spectacular, but something far more engaging. As he described it, “a town hall meeting with overtones of jollity.” Accompanied only by a lectern, water jug and some of his books, James spent an hour and a half chatting about anything and everything. Imagine your grandfather talking over the dinner table. Now make him more interesting. You get the idea.

Now in his seventh decade, the Australian national come naturalized Brit recalled experiences both old and new: the youthful vigour of denim, the wonder of Y-fronts, and the perils of western banking to name a few. Much like your grandfather, James also ventured into the dangerous territory of what makes a joke unfunny. For all his prefatory warnings though, James can tell a gag or two. Tony Blair’s gift of “putting the thoughts of George W. Bush into words” was one of his best, as was his description of Barack

found in the local section of most of Sheffield’s leading book stores.

Up close with the beasties.

Samuel Valdes Lopez

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Fuse.listings Friday September 18 - Thursday October 8 2009

email: listings@forgetoday.com

Fri 18

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Sun 20

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Wed 23

Thur 24

Fuck Buttons @ Corporation; 7pm; £8 They’ve been described as psychedelic, futuristic, experimental and noise-pop, but forget

Warp 20 ATP Screening @ Park Hill Flats; Free Continuing their 20th anniversary celebrations, Warp are screening their film ‘All Tomorrow’s Parties’ which features concert footage from the independent music festival and involves the likes of Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Belle & Sebastian, Gossip and Mogwai. What’s more, it’s free!

LA Guns + Nasty Tendency @ Corporation; 7pm; £12adv For those in need of a little bit of glam rock in their lives, look no further than LA Guns. Over the past 15 years they’ve toured with AC/DC and

Massive Attack @ O2 Academy; 7pm; £28.50 Massive Attack make a triumphant return with their first full UK tour in three years and mark the release of their new studio album, due for release in the same month.

what people say, catch Bristol-based duo Fuck Buttons at Corporation and decide for yourself.

Their indescribable layered sound is infectious and unique and will have the crowd bouncing off the walls, so make sure you’re part of it.

Warp 20 Night Concert @ Magna Science and Adventure Park; 11pm; £19 It’s less about the footage and more about the live experience as Squarepusher and Nightmares on Wax help celebrate in Rotherham for a night of hedonism.

Free buses will shuttle between the Warp Cinema and the venue.

Slow Club + Cate Le Bon @ Plug; 7:30pm; £7adv Local sweethearts Slow Club return home in the middle of their UK tour following the release of their debut album Yeah So earlier this year.

Providing endearing folky-pop songs with an on stage chemistry to match, this compelling duo are nothing short of delightful.

Thursday Night Comedy @ Fusion & Foundry; 7pm; £6adv

Iron Maiden to name but two. With 15 albums under their belt including titles such as Cocked and Loaded and Hollywood Vampires, it’ll feel like the 1980s all over again.

The Harley Freshers Special @ The Harley; 8pm; Free Start Intro Week with a trip to Sheffield’s beloved Harley for a free night of electropop courtesy of french music label Kitsuné.

Recent signing Chew Lips are providing the evening’s entertainment performing what they describe as a “joyful racket” on anything and everything. Watch and learn, wannabe experimentalists.

The Tuesday Club Freshers Showcase @ Fusion & Foundry; 10:30pm; £10adv Incase you’re new and didn’t already know, The Tuesday Club is the place for all the best in drum and bass, hip hop, dubstep, reggae and electronica. This

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Speech Debelle @ Plug; 7:30pm; £7adv

NME Radar Tour: Golden Silvers + Marina & The Diamonds + Local Natives + Yes Giantess @ The Foundry; 7:30pm; £9.50adv Another tour apparently curated by the weekly music mag aimed at exposing you to a gaggle of new and exciting acts and the sounds they make. Particular mention should go to Yes Giantess, a band that are worth getting down there early to see.

Simian Mobile Disco + Young Fathers + Gold Panda @ Plug; 7pm; £12.50adv Part-time producer James Ford is back once again with fellow partner in crime Jas Shaw to blow away audiences with the sounds that explode from their deceptively basic set-up. Expect favourites from their debut as well as new album Temporary Pleasure.

Matthew Bourne’s Dorian Gray @ Lyceum; 7:30pm; £17.50 £31.50 The man that changed the face of ballet takes on Oscar Wilde’s classic tale of Dorian Gray, who makes a deal with the devil in exchange for eternal youth.

Having recently picked up the Mercury Music Prize for her debut album Speech Therapy, the 26 year-old London rapper is embarking on her first national headline tour. The accolade will definitely have its desired outcome of boosting record sales and the trend is more than likely to transfer to ticket sales for her shows, which also features her band.

Orbital @ O2 Academy; 7pm; £23 Celebrating 20 years of roof-raising anthems and cinematic techno sounds the fraternal trailblazing duo, Paul and Phil Hartnoll, bring their live show to Sheffield after a string of successful European Summer festival dates this year.

The Union’s brand new comedy night launches with very special guest Simon Bird, best known for his role as Will in E4’s BAFTA nominated The Inbetweeners. A former member of the Cambridge Footlights, Bird won Best Newcomer at the British Comedy Awards and will be performing his brand new stand-up show live.

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Thur 1

Away We Go @ Showroom; Times TBA; £3 Directed by Oscar winner Sam Mendes, this quirky and charming story follows a couple (John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph) as they road trip across America searching for the perfect place to raise their soonto-be born first child.

Along the way they meet an assortment of friends and relatives who all try to help them.

Daniel Von Sturmer @ Site Gallery; 11am 5:30pm; Free The first UK solo show by the Melbourne-based artist who represented Australia in the Venice Biennale in 2007. This ambitious installation of new video works will be presented within a temporary architecture within the gallery, created especially for the exhibition.

Bombay Bicycle Club @ The Leadmill; 7pm: £8.50

Tom Wrigglesworth @ City Hall; 8pm; £12 Sheffield’s own comedian is back with a show about making a stand, having witnessed a Virgin Train Manager abuse his position, and the domino-effect of the following unfolding events around this incident.

Loveday Fools @ Redhouse; 8pm Hailing from Scarborough, Loveday Fools became involved in the ‘Road to V’ competition and grew from there. Now touring around Yorkshire, they are calling in at Sheffield’s Redhouse to try and win over the locals with their easy-going indie-folk melodies.

Having started out in 2006 by winning the ‘Road To V’ competition, Bombay Bicycle Club fans have had to wait three years, feeding on EP and single releases, before the London four-piece eventually released their debut album, I Had the Blues But I Shook Them Loose, at the beginning of the summer.

Zoe Lyons @ The Lescar; 9:30pm; £5 Zoe Lyons new show Miss Machismo explores, amongst other things, arming the elderly, human soup, and the Pope’s remarks about the blurring of the genders. Lyons thought this was a curious comment from a man who insists on wearing a frock with pretty red shoes but people do say the strangest things.

7 Styles for 7 Brothers @ The Archipelago Works To celebrate their move to Sidney Street, the gallery’s first exhibition is a group show featuring work from Kid Acne, Pinky, Russell Maurice, Dscreet, Cept, Infinite Livez & Sweet Toof.

showcase will feature Fabio & Grooverider, Bailey, MistaJam, Crazy D and guest MCs.

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Thur 8

The Invention of Lying @ Odeon; Times TBA; £4.80

Zero 7 @ Plug; 7pm; £17.50adv Following the release of their fourth studio album Yeah Ghost on September 28th, British duo Zero 7 return with Henry Binns and Sam Hardaker bringing their ambient and downtempo sound back to Sheffield.

Zero 7 are famed for tracks such as ‘In the Waiting Line’, ‘Destiny’ and collaborations with artists José Gonzalez and Austrailian mainstay vocalist Sia Furler.

Rhod Gilbert @ Lyceum; 7:30pm; £15 Following last year’s sellout tour and sensational performances on a number of television shows, the ‘Welsh Wonder’ is back on the road with a brand new show called The Cat Who Looked Like Nicholas Lyndhurst. This year

Marcus Brigstocke @ Lyceum; 7:30pm; £15 A brand-new hilarious stand-up show, God Collar, from Argumental and The Now Show’s own award-winning comedian.

Andy Parsons @ Lyceum Theatre; 7.30pm; £15

General Fiasco + Scrim + Ruberlaris @ Plug; 7:30pm; £6adv After warming up the crowd for The Wombats, One Night Only and The Pigeon Detectives, General Fiasco are given the chance to headline Plug themselves with support from local acts Scrim and Ruberlaris before dashing off around the country with Coventry lad-rock egotists The Enemy.

Tinchy Stryder @ O2 Academy 2; 7pm; Sold Out. Having hit the big time after hits with N-Dubz and Sugababes’ Amelle, Tinchy Stryder has grown from being an almost

The Invention of Lying is the new romantic comedy written and directed by Ricky Gervais and Matthew Robinson.

Everyone in the world is oblivious to the idea of lying. Mark, however, who lives within this honest society discovers the ability to lie. The story follows the problems that affect him and his peers when he begins to use it to his advantage.

Expect laughs and a few romantic mishaps along the way.

Wonk @ DQ; 10.30pm; £5 It’s birthday time down at DQ as Wonk celebrates it’s first birthday upstairs.

Expect antics aplenty as all the fun kicks off at this monthly house/techno/ electro night. Hijack, The Mightyfools, Kyle Watson, Liam Vizzle and residents Skullduggery are all set to appear for the bash on Fitzwilliam Street.

Gilbert’s given his show a ridiculous title just to annoy someone in Canterbury. Is he, as he believes, a visionary in a sea of closed minds, or has he, as everyone else believes, got angermanagement problems?

HEALTH @ The Harley; 8pm; £7 Drowned in Sound present one-time Crystal Castles collaborators HEALTH who intend on causing mass damage with their brash discopunk in The Harley.

The LA-based group are currently promoting the forthcoming album Get Color released on Lovepump United Records. The evening also features DJ sets from local collective Small Ideas and support from fellow American ear-splitters Pictureplane as well as performances from local acts Forest Creature and Pygmy Globetrotters.

Considered “The King of political comedy” by The Guardian and as “a man that can do no wrong”

by The Stage, Andy Parsons has become a familiar face on television spanning from stand-up on the BBC’s Live at the Apollo to panel shows such as Mock the Week and QI. Parsons brings his satirical show to town as part of the Grin Up North comedy festival which runs throughout October.

Peter, Bjorn & John @ The Leadmill; 7pm; £12 Still riding on the coattails of 2006’s ‘Young Folks’, Swedish group Peter, Bjorn and John return to the UK with more of the same uplifting pop that we’ve come to expect from three men surprisingly called Peter, Bjorn & John. They released their fifth studio album Living Thing in March on Wichita Records.

unknown grime artist hailing from East London to chart-topper in a matter of moments. His mainstream appeal is reflected in this sold out show and number one singles, so don’t expect him to be playing the smaller venues like this for much longer.