FUSE Issue 46

Fuse.

Doug Stanhope

Role playing gimmicks Dead Beat Screen recommends The Crookes

SHORT FUSE

Rate My Rating?

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recently read that the hotly ancitipated Hunger Games was given a 12A rating and in all honeslty I was quite dissppoitned. When I think of films with a 12A certificate I think of romantic comedies, films with a bit of tame violence like the Harry Potter series. I do not think of the Hunger Games, a film which by all accounts should easily be a 15.

The books are not like the Harry Potter series, they are not designed as children’s novels in which everyone has a happy ending well aside from the whole parents dying thing but we can skip over that.

The point is they are not set in some apocolypitc world in which children have to kill each other to survive, so not quite gnomes, wands and owls that deliver your post.

To be fair to the Harry Potter series the films were good at recreating the books, and from what I have heard the Hunger Games does the same thing but I have to ask why tone the violence down?

If the books are presented in that way then why are the films not.

I think the fan base would prefer a film that was closer to the original script than have a film that left important details out.

The violence is there for a reason, to demonstate how violent the world these characters are in and to show the things they have to do to survive it.

There have been parents who have written in to complain about the rating but honeslty if you do some research yourself you could see that the flm is not suitable for a 12-year-old so don’t complain when it doesn’t turn out how you expected.

This is not the first time something like this has happend, films have been given the wrong ratings for years now.

When Star Wars came out for example that had arms been cut off, legs amputated, many troops killed and even an entire planet being destoyed, RIP Alderan. Star Wars got a U rating meaning anyone can see that.

Similary The Dark Knight had some pretty dark themes, with scenes where the joker mentally tortued his victims and that was given a 12A when it easily could have got a 15.

I think the biggest case is the film Gremlins which has a 15 rating and yet is shown on a Sunday at midday, I mean that doesn’t make any sense, why give it that certificate and then play it at the start of the afternoon.

I think the film industry needs to look a close look at itself. If films are taken from books then why lower their content and annoy everyone who was a fan of it originally.

I mean sure to make some more money but why ignore or tamper with the source material which people have obsessesed over?

James Garrett

British television has the cringe factor

Fuse.

Thursday March 29 2012

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elevision is in the middle of a craze for all things cringe worthy. Whether it’s prodding at a man’s “aggravated anus” on Embarrassing Bodies or following the clandestine lives of chat line workers on My Phone Sex Secrets, the small screen is packed with shows we simply love to hate. Hiding behind a pillow is almost compulsory whilst watching in horror at the crazy things people do, say or hide beneath their undergarments.

Masked under the premise of being an enlightening, educational production, (yes, that’s our excuse for watching) the genre of cringe abuses anything abnormal and weird about the human species.

It seems the whole purpose of these shows is to unearth the eccentrics within our society, parade them on primetime television and then unceremoniously dump them to deal with the social-awkwardness that comes with having an itchy vagina.

And we love it. If anything, shows like Embarrassing Bodies,

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Supersize vs Superskinny and Bodyshock make us develop too much of a suspicious mind – that uncomfortable looking girl sat in the corner couldn’t possibly be displaying the first signs of a leaky uterus?

Like most things disgusting, Channel 4 is leading the way with this newfound appreciation for all things cringe.

Not content with commissioning anything with the word gypsy in the title, they are now unleashing a string of squirming documentaries, warts ‘n’ all. Take My Phone Sex Secrets for example, a one-off documentary about the women on the other end of sex chat calls.

Although disturbingly awkward, it was strangely enthralling, as we delved into the bizarre business of sex down the phone and the raucous attitude of the cast of workers. For them, its ejaculations a-go-go - anything to get a bit of extra cash, eh?

Undoubtedly, the star of the show was 56-year-old Jenny from Carlisle who has a diction-

ary of innuendos as long as the Magna Carter yet the libido reminiscent of a Carry On character.

You see our Jenny is multi-talented, not only can she exclaim “Give me that fucking cock!” whilst washing up, she can switch into one of three different personas – sweet and innocent Sophie, your archetypal granny Mabel, and cocksure, “rough around the edges” Elena.

There was something rather unsettling about watching Jenny casually painting her kitchen wall whilst coaching the man on the other end to his climax and lovely Anneka flipping into her inner Dominatrix whilst carelessly grocery shopping.

But that’s nothing compared to Embarrassing Bodies, the daddy of all cringe worthy shows.

Dedicated to exposing the smelly and swollen bits of the British public, it simply isn’t very nice to watch. I wouldn’t want to see Caroline’s vagina skin tear in HD. Or James’ flesh eating infection.

Or constipated Carol’s addic-

tion to pumping coffee up her bum. It’s quite frankly horrific.

Yet why do I find this show still on series reminder?

While we may spend more time with our heads turned away from the screen, these shows are quickly becoming embryonic of a new form of reality TV. There’s something quite grotesque about it all, watching people in pain or people who really ought to be, but our obsession is really all about titillation.

We really should have better things to do with our spare time.

But in the fractured universe of TV, budgets are getting cut, audiences are getting smaller and competition is getting stiffer.

A divergence to the extreme is therefore one way to lure viewers back.

What encourages people to expose their nasty habit on national television is beyond me, but whilst people are still queuing up to have their private parts inspected, we’ll still be watching, more fool us.

Editorial

Sadly, this is our last issue as Fuse editors before the lovely new team take over.

We have had an amazing year and would like to thank everyone who has contributed.

From the Oscars and the Brits to the best and worst of reality television and social media, we’ve seen it, you’ve covered it and everyone’s read about it.

Have a fantastic Easter and Fuse will be back sooner than you can say; ‘please don’t subject us to another series of Britain’s Got Talent’.

With tears in our eyes, we leave Fuse now in the more than capable hands of the next pair of crazy people to take on this role and provide you with pure entertainment.

James Garrett Rachel Dixon

Jonathan Robinson

This issue’s front cover was designed by the very talented Tim Rooker.

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f you’ve been to Pop Tarts in the past 14 years, you’ll know Fusion DJ Jim MacLaine. On the eve of his 500th Pop Tarts, Jim talks to Fuse about his favourite fancy dress, his dislike for Queen, and topless blokes.

First things first, how did you get into the DJ business?

I first DJd for a lower school disco when I was in sixth form.

Then when I went to Huddersfield Polytechnic and joined their Ents committee and DJd there for a bit then came to Hallam and started DJing at Hallam Union in ’93. And that’s how it started really. I joined the Hallam Ents committee and DJd for free and then it kind of progressed to being a paid job really.

How did you stumble into Pop Tarts?

Well, back in 1997 there used to be a monthly disco here just for postgraduates called Cert:

PG in the Raynor Lounge. But because [the Union] knew I DJ’d at Hallam, that I’d be cheaper than their regular DJs, and that I played retro music, they asked me to do it. But then, at the end of ’98, I stepped in at the main room at Pop Tarts because the DJ was ill. And then at the start of the ‘98/’99 term, the DJ in the 70’s room - as it was then - left for London. So I just took over from him!

And it’s been that every week since?

Yeah, I’ve only missed eight since 1998 and even then it was for weddings or birthdays. I’ve never ever ever pulled a sickie!

So you’ve always played retro pop?

Yeah, when I first came to Pop Tarts it was strictly 80s in Foundry and strictly 70s in the Fusion. But by the end of the 90s we started to broaden it out because we were worried that people were

too young to remember just four hours of 80s music and four hours of 70s music. So the 60s were introduced into my room while the other room incorporated music up to 1995. And today, it’s effectively 80s, 90s and noughties in the Foundry and 50s, 60s, and 70s in the Fusion.

We introduced 50s into the small room because rock ‘n’ roll had a bit of a revival a few years ago. And plus films like Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction – any film that’s released really – have an effect on Pop Tarts. Those sort of films perpetuate retro music basically. For example, take Hall and Oates’ You Make My Dreams Come True from 500 Days of Summer, which was recorded in 1979 and has had a bit of a resurgance lately.

So when Freddie grew the ‘stache it was over?

I think it was over when he formed Queen [laughs]. I know people love it when Bohemian Rhapsody comes on, but I usually nip to the toilet because it’s a six minute song [laughs].

So what’s the most requested song at the moment?

Journey still gets requested every week. But I play Don’t Stop Believing every night at 2am.

And people may complain, but the room’s definitely fuller when it’s on because people know it’s coming.

So, 14 years, the same kind of music every Saturday. The burning question everyone wants to know: do you get bored of it?

Speaking of which, do you have any theories as to why people, especially larger lads, feel the need to whip off their tops when Journey comes on?

Well [laughs]… when I look back to 10 years ago I would say there are about 10 big songs that have stayed, like Stevie Wonder’s Superstition, Jackson 5’s I Want You Back, and Twist and Shout by The Beatles. They’re never going to go, ever. But there are other songs that come and go. Build Me Up Buttercup was massive in the early noughties because of There’s Something About Mary, but that’s tailed off now. Just like Is This The Way to Amarillo. So no, I never get bored of it. Mainly because I spend most of the time just chatting to people and having a laugh!

I’ve been wondering this for many years. Maybe the air conditioning’s broken… and sometimes it is [laughs]. I don’t know, I’ve never felt the need to do it personally. It’s the only place I suspect they get away with it, and it’s done in good humour, just like waving a scarf above your head. So maybe they should bring scarves… Let’s get some Pop Tarts scarves!

What is your favourite Pop Tarts song?

Ain’t No Mountain High Enough, definitely. Although over the years it’s changed.

And what’s your least favourite song at the moment that you have to play?

What was the wackiest request you’ve ever had?

Someone Left the Cake Out in the Rain by Richard Harris [the original Dumbledore in the Harry Potter films]. Someone requested it once, so I got it for him but he never came again. So I play it now and then really early just for my own amusement.

Which songs do you wish were requested more?

The Jackson Sisters – no relation to the Jackson brothers – I Believe in Miracles and Reaching for the Best by the Exciters. Rock wise, I really like Whitesnake.

People should ask for some more early Whitesnake.

Fuse is shocked by... the latest showbiz rumour involving Lana Del Rey and scary rocker, Marilyn Manson. Are they really in the early stages of a blossoming relationship? We hope not. Lana, you could do so much better - leave the strange man alone.

Johnson even apologised for them! The entire outfit consists of, a polo shirt with matching fleece, anorak and rucksack and not forgetting the straw trillby with pink ribbon. Well done Britain, you have just won yourself Fuse Gold medal for the worst fashion sense and design in history.

The N-Dubz singer said it was her, sharing an intimate moment with ex, Justin Edwards - and this needed to be filmed why Tulisa?

An internet firm charged viewers £3.90 to download this ‘intimate moment’ - only 60p less than the N-Dubz 2010 album, Love.Live.

Life .

Fuse is sceptical about... the new garish purple uniforms that the army of Olympic volunteers will be wearing. Boris

Fuse wasn’t particularly surprised that...

Tulisa Contostavlos was found to have starred in a sex tape.

Fuse loves that... a woman from Leeds has fallen

What was your most memorable Pop Tarts?

We took Pop Tarts to Blackpool just before I started properly in 1998. I came along because they needed to keep one DJ in Sheffield to do the Pop Tarts there. We got 12 coaches of students and set off at lunch time. You paid something like 20 pounds, got a wristband which got you into the Pleasure Beach, and we hired the Winter Gardens in Blackpool and had Pop Tarts in there until the coaches left at 2 o’clock. It was just amazing to take 600 students out of the city. So I suppose it was my most memorable because it was fun, it was different. I suppose it’s a bit sad in a way that my most memorable is 14 years ago, but I suppose you do remember your first time [laughs].

Any memorable characters over the past 14 years?

Well I’ve made a lot of friends, good friends, at Pop Tarts, but one person that sticks out in mind, fancy dress wise, was someone who came to Scary Tarts a few years ago as the film Psycho. He’d managed to erect an entire shower unit with a shower curtain around his body, with a shower head above him.

He could barely see, he couldn’t drink, he couldn’t go to the toilet, but it was an absolute work of art. Anyone can hire a Batman costume, but if you make a Batman costume, then you mean business.

So do you have any birthday wishes?

I’ve always wanted Gloria Gaynor or Billy Ocean to come and do a short PA set, so maybe you can get that in print!

Tom Wardak Jim’s 500th Pop Tarts is on March 31, so pop into Fusion and say hello. And if you’re going to request a song, make sure it’s Queen. He’ll love you for it.

in love with a three foot statue of Adonis. She spends every day kissing and caressing the statue and has also confessed to a passionate love affair with a drum kit. This is a true story. Objectum sexuality is a growing condition.

In 2007, Erika Eiffel married the Eiffel Tower. Strange? Yes. Weird? Very. But as they say love is blind.

Fuse.

Gary Numan’s Replicas. Although the first album I was given was

You, obviously, like your retro pop, so what was the first album you bought?

Queen’s Greatest Hits. That’s probably why I don’t like them [laughs].

Thursday March 29 2012

It used to be Build Me Up Buttercup. If I could get through a night without anyone requesting it I would be happy. I don’t like Queen, and that’s a well-known fact amongst people who know me. I will play them, I do play them, but I don’t like them. I just don’t get them. They’ve been around my whole life and I just can’t think of a Queen song I like.

If I had to choose I’d have 70s

Fuse Musings Fuse would like to congratulate...

One Direction as they storm America. Their debut album has hit number one on US itunes. 1D mania has arrived in the states and it looks like it’s there to stay.

Five good looking guys who create cheesy pop we all hate to love. They’ve just given all the haters one big f**k you with this latest success.

Queen over 80s Queen, “Seven Seas of Rhye”, stuff like that.

SHORT FUSE

Q&A : Jim MacLaine

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GAMES

Feature. ROLE PLAYING GIMMICKS Arnold Bennett takes a parting glance at the RPG genre, and examines how it has been hijacked by greedy publishers in a move to reduce creativity and increase profits.

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here’s a particular genre of game that irks me: the RPG. Standing, rather drably, for ‘Role Playing Game’, this genre above all others centres around ideas of consequence and persistence.

It’s not that I don’t enjoy RPGs, it’s that I hate the presumption that this genre alone should be the one to put the player in an environment outside their own reality.

“It’s tough to think of a game in which the player does not assume the role of someone or something else”

Fuse.

Thursday March 29 2012

It’s tough to think of a game in which the player does not assume the role of someone or something else. In Halo I was a soldier, in GTA4 I was an eastern European immigrant, and in Flower I was the wind. I don’t know what the fuck I am in Tetris, but I’m certainly not me. I’m playing the role of block organiser. Yawn.

If all games have you assuming the role of another entity then, what separates the RPGs from the shooters, the racing games, and Tetris? That comes in the form of player choice and persistence.

In Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic it is the player’s own choice to decide what colour they wish their lightsaber to be. A blue lightsaber would look gallant and brave, a red lightsaber would look sinister and malevolent, and a purple lightsaber would make you look like Samuel L Jackson.

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This choice is a shallow one, but in the context of the game, where the narrative revolves around who you choose to be through your actions and appearance, it’s also a meaningful one.

In an interview from 2009, Cliff Bleszkinski, creator of the Gears of War franchise said that the future of the shooter is the RPG. Not meant to be taken literally, this comment alludes to the idea that persistence and player choice would break away from the confines of the RPG and infect other genres with wildly different audiences and expectations.

Whilst this sounds rather bold, such a transformation had already resonated with audiences. Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare’s multiplayer component centred around traditional role playing values. Levelling, unlocking new items, creating a class, perks; this level of individuality and persistence was a breath of fresh air for the genre, eventually transforming into a lingering stench within the industry.

“This level of individuality and persistence was a breath of fresh air for the genre” For there’s a final facet to role playing tropes that I’ve yet to touch upon: addiction. When you take control of a persistent role, an identity that doesn’t disappear when you switch your console off, then persistence becomes permanent.

For some, reaching that next level in Call of Duty is more important than

brushing their teeth, and that’s a problem.

Modern Warfare taught publishers that audiences could not only be collected, but sustained through the use of these moreish RPG elements. Call of Duty hasn’t evolved for 5 years, yet each yearly release smashes sales records because players are that eager to grind their virtual identity back to the top tier. It’s an almost sad cycle of repetitious levelling and collecting that distracts from the overall point of the game itself. And almost every shooter released today uses Call of Duty as their springboard, more bothered about integrating these gimmicks than actually developing a fun and original gameplay experience.

It’s not just shooters that have integrated a persistent state of role playing into their games. FIFA’s ‘Ultimate Team’ mode tasks players with playing to unlock packs of virtual cards which can then be used to create, bolster and improve their own ‘ultimate team’. A novel idea, until EA allowed users to pay for new packs as an alternative to playing for them.

“Each yearly release smashes sales records because players are eager to grind their virtual identity back to the top tier” Not only did this turn the addictive nature of persistent elements into a tool for capitalist gain, but some users even began to scam other users by gaining access to their account and using their credit card to buy packs for their own team. Just the other day my friend lost nearly £100

to somebody who’d gained access to his account in order to fuel his desire for Ultimate Team packs.

“Keeping players hooked, consuming and buying into a product they’ve already bought is the holy grail” Perhaps the perfect synthesis between RPG and Shooter, Mass Effect 3, also uses this structure for its own multiplayer, using the lure of virtual packs to keep players playing and, in some cases, paying.

The ‘G’ in ‘RPG’ no longer stands for ‘game’, it stands for ‘gimmick’. A trick or device used to attract business. Games are now platforms, Call of Duty has a subscription service, and it won’t be long before others follow. Keeping players hooked, consuming, and buying into a product they’ve already bought is the holy grail for publishers.

If in five years I find myself paying for multi-coloured blocks to create my ultimate Tetris team then it’s time to find a new hobby.

“Poetry is what happens when nothing else can.”

- Charles Bukowski

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t has been over five months since Dead Beats first appearance in Forge Press. Since then, what was an embryonic venture has fleshed out into a real presence both online and in Sheffield.

Dead Beats is an interactive publishing space for upcoming writers; a means to get those gems lurking in poets’ hard-drives and Moleskine notebooks into the wider world.

Recently, Dead Beats entered the Sheffield live poetry scene, co-curating events such as ‘Wordlife vs. Dead Beats’ and the ‘Varsity Poetry Slam’ at the Riverside pub.

In March, the group also performed to an intimate crowd

at the University’s Platform Festival.

Drawing inspiration from the counter-cultural sentiments of the Beat Generation, Dead Beats aspires to call back to a time when literature was still relevant. The group utilises various forms of social media to cultivate a vibrant artistic space. Dead Beats’ Facebook page functions as a hub of activity, in which the international readership of the group can interact with the pieces published.

From Cardiff to Caracas and Kent to Kharagpur; with over 4,500 ‘likes’ on Facebook, and hundreds of followers across Twitter and Tumblr, the reach of Dead Beats is

ARTS

Feature. DEAD BEATS

continually growing.

Sheffield has also been intrinsic to their development.

They source the majority of their poets and performers from the two universities and have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know them through their work.

Though Dead Beats has not been aided financially, they have received support from university lecturers, established local performers and arts companies.

In the forthcoming months, they intend to host more irreverent events, launch a website and continue publishing inspired and inspiring work from the best unpublished writers around.

Photo: Allen Ginsberg

The Green Man by Hannah O’Brien

“PEDESTRIANS

Yeah I’m the Green Man, what of it?

Green for a reason too.

But if I’m honest, sometimes green in more ways than one.

Stupid, good for nothing Red Man, stealing all the glory.

It’s called limelight because it’s meant to be lime, right?

It wouldn’t bother me so much if it was called scarlet light, or crimson light, or magenta light, but let’s be honest, that just sounds like a cheap soft drink and he’s just complicating lexical connotations.

I have to live with him you know.

The insolent twit.

It’s a tight squeeze as well, that little black box, tighter still with his walloping ego crowding up the place like Crowdy McCrowderson eating Crowd Pie at a Crowd Convention.

“Red red red, I’m the red man, get to see everything, reddy red red, look at me, I’m so red-“ yeah WE GET IT. You lot don’t help the situation either.

Clearly stated on the little black box are the words,

Push button and wait for signal opposite.”

Just because there’s quite a large gap between each line of text, It doesn’t grant you authority to read between them.

The. Green. Cross. Code.

See the word order?‘Green’ then ‘cross.’

It’s a syntactic instruction!

Urgh.

It just really gets to me sometimes.

You don’t realise how demoralising it is when your occupation, your calling in life, your means for existence, is to watch for the illumination of the ‘wait’ sign and deliver the appropriate service, but every time you attempt to do so you’re met with an empty crossing and an awkward train of ticked off traffic

due to the fact that the intended beneficiary has diced with death, thrown caution to the wind, and crossed under the warped guidance of the intolerable Red Man. Call yourselves Pedestrians?

You’ll be Deadestrians soon, I’ll tell you that for nothing.

There’ll come a time when you’ll be let late out of work, you won’t get to boots in time to have your prawn mayo, chicken salad and BLT triple sandwich meal deal and you won’t have much energy as a result.

Your arms will feel weaker than usual, caution will be too heavy for you to throw, and the wind won’t even try to catch it, it’ll just sit and laugh at you.

Then you’ll wish you waited for me, won’t you?

I’d be very careful if I was you, because how do you think that zebra got there?

Umbilicus by Deepika Sangireddy

Sirens by Lewis Haubus

Email: deadbeats@live.co.uk Facebook: Deadbeats Literary Blog

Fuse.

Her breath felt like the ghost of an ambulance, The rubble of an idea that was trying to cling.

He wanted to scoop up the hot orange brick And mould cathedrals that screamed at sterile skies, That pushed at forever until lungs collapsed And tore into tomorrow like the afterthoughts of warm spasm.

He cast out the duvet and felt his skin bleach against the horizon As she lay on their stretcher, preserved as plastic, mermaid like, More noble than blue hymns or boats.

He thought of a kiss so thick you could sit a spoon in it.

An anchor that mocked cold brittle water.

A moment before the whistling sirens rocked him to sleep, Where he could touch her breath like an animal again.

Instead her song led him back to bed Where he salvaged masts and oars for firewood, But prayed for beeswax.

Get involved

Thursday March 29 2012

It seemed as if Everything that I had owned Was gushing into the Ancient whirlpool of The navel, When he said,‘You’re a peculiar child’, Not a woman, Not even a girl, But a child…

Photo: Sara Hill

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SCREEN

Feature. SCREEN RECOMMENDS If you’ve been following Screen over the past year, you’ll know that, just like John Cusack in High Fidelity, we love our lists. So, in a final act of self-indulgence before they leave for good, Tom Wardak and Tom Fletcher take you through their favourite films.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975)

The Thing (1982)

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t’s easy to dismiss John Carpenter after the amount of tripe he’s made over the past 20-odd years, but you have to remember that during the eighties, he was one of the most prolific and influential Horror/ Sci-Fi filmmakers working.

The Thing represents the highlight of his career and is his own personal favourite. Adapted from John W. Campbell’s novela Who Goes There? about a shape-shifting alien that infiltrates an Antarctic research base, The Thing is a master class in suspense and practical effects (you’ll find no lazy CGI here).

What defines this film, however, isn’t its bloody spectacle, but the unrelenting atmosphere of foreboding and dread that creeps from the

opening frame until long after the credits have stopped rolling.

You never know who is the Thing and who isn’t. And it makes for deliciously uncomfortable viewing - not unlike a Ricky Gervais comedy.

The Thing was lambasted by critics and audiences upon release, but it has since become the quintessential cult horror film.

Oh and it was just released on Blu-ray on Monday, so grab it and bask in the gory glory of Rob Bottin’s amazing special effects in crisp 1080p.

Also Watch: Big Trouble in Little China (1986) Escape From New York (1981) TW

C Leaving Las Vegas (1995)

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hile it is acknowledged that Nicolas Cage has been shamelessly sodomising his filmography in recent years, when he isn’t portraying a flaming, crime fighting skeleton in an effort to delay bankruptcy, he can be an incredibly talented actor.

In an Oscar winning performance, Cage stars in Leaving Las Vegas, a tragic and ever so slightly depressing story of a man who decides to drink himself to death in Las Vegas when his acute alcoholism costs him his job and his family.

Leaving Las Vegas is as heartbreaking and shattering as films come, but the unpolluted brilliance, humility and honesty of Cage’s delivery leaves you hypnotised, angry, and most definitely moved.

The Prestige (2006)

Fuse.

Thursday March 29 2012

Y

ou can forget about Bruce Wayne and dream invasion, Christopher Nolan’s opus is undoubtedly The Prestige – a film about two rival stage magicians (Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman) in Victorian London who will stop at nothing to better the other.

Take two of the most talented actors from the mid-2000s, throw in the mind-boggling nonlinearity of Memento,

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mix in the unnerving foreshadowing of Insomnia, sprinkle a bit of Michael Caine and David Bowie, and finally top with the most shocking twist-ending since The Usual Suspects and you have an awe-inspiring piece of cinema.

Innovative without feeling g i m m i c k y, staggering without feeling

Elisabeth Shue is equally spellbinding in her role as prostitute Sera, with whom Cage forms an uneasy romantic relationship and a noninterference pact.

Leaving Las Vegas leaves nothing sugar-coated and is unquestionably one of the most visceral, unapologetic portrayals of alcoholism and clinical depression in American cinema.

Nicholas Cage may be better known these days as Hollywood’s beloved nutcase, but as far as individual performances go, Leaving Las Vegas is staggeringly good and will leave you completely stunned and very much in need of a hug.

areer defining performances from Jack Nicholson and Louise Fletcher helped the 1975 classic sweep the Oscars and win both lead acting awards, as well as the awards for Best Picture, Director and Screenplay.

Nicholson stars as R.P. McMurphy, a convicted statutory rapist who feigns mental illness in order to escape a prison sentence.

He claims: “I’m so insane, I voted for Eisenhower... twice.”

Upon his arrival at a mental institution, the strident dissenter rallies his fellow patients together to take on the tyrannical Nurse Ratched, one of the most menacing film villains of all time.

One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest is intelligent, crazy, earnest, and sinister, all at the

same time.

The film highlights the ludicrously tragic, and the absolute inestimable value of human life in the face of whatever foibles might be visible on the exterior.

The eccentric supporting cast are able to portray the tortured minds of their characters without objectifying them as freaks.

With one of the most iconic endings in any American picture, if you haven’t had it spoiled for you yet, have the tissues ready.

Ken Kesey, author of the original novel, reportedly disliked the film adaptation of his award winning novel. Why that might be is anybody’s guess.

One thing is for certain though, in terms of sheer excellence of acting, there is simply no better film than this.

Also Watch: I am Sam (2001) The Machinist (2004)

Also Watch: Requiem for a Dream (2000) Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans (2009) TF

TF

cheap, The Prestige is one of those rare films that doesn’t just stand up to repeated viewing, but incrementally gets better each time you watch it, as greater thematic depths open up and ‘hidden’ details reveal themselves to be sitting in plain sight throughout the entirety of the film. It’s magic.

Also Watch: Memento (2000) Insomnia (2002)

TW

Reservoir Dogs (1992)

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eservoir Dogs is the ultimate proof that all you need to make a Tour de Force is an insightful script, a bloody good set of actors and a little bit of slow motion walking.

After a diamond heist goes horribly awry, the surviving participants try to piece the

failure together and begin to suspect that one of them is an undercover cop. The majority of the film takes place in a single warehouse.

The setting is modest, but the mystery is as colossal as it is compelling.

Quentin Tarantino’s feature debut is widely regarded as his archetype.

Pulp Fiction would obviously follow, but the simplistic brutality of Reservoir Dogs is the perfect summary of exactly why Tarantino is regarded as the genius he is.

Forget the NASA style budgets: All Tarantino needed to make a classic was $1.2million, an

abandoned warehouse and a touch of Stealers Wheel.

If you thought Michael Madsen was creepy in Celebrity Big Brother, you ain’t seen nothing yet.

Also Watch: Pulp Fiction (1994) The Usual Suspects (1995)

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cience Fiction adventures don’t come any more dreamlike and hypnotic than 2001: A Space Odyssey. Possibly Stanley Kubrick’s greatest achievement was a pioneer of modern special effects and paved the way for cinema as we now know it.

The film focuses on the discovery of mysterious black monoliths, ancient alien artefacts that, when discovered, seem to trigger huge steps in human evolution.

When humans discover one on the Moon, a team is sent on a quest into space to uncover the truth behind the relics.

The notorious ambiguity of the final scenes, the spellbinding visual effects which are stunning even by modern standards, the majestic soundtrack, and the downright terror unleashed by HAL9000 all help make 2001 one of the all time greatest Sci-Fi films.

If you prefer simple, digestible

entertainment, you will probably hate this film. But if you’re quite partial to a good old fashioned mindfuck, 2001 will fascinate you like nothing else.

Also Watch: The Time Machine (1960 - NOT the Guy Pearce version, I should add.)

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Phone Booth (2002)

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s far as premises go, the idea of Colin Farrell in a New York phone box for 80 minutes doesn’t exactly scream out ‘classic’. You might be surprised to find out, then, that Phone Booth is one of the most intense, gripping thrillers in recent years.

Stuart Shepherd (Farrell) stars as an egotistical, shamelessly amoral publicist who one day finds himself to be the hostage of a mysterious extortionist sniper (Kiefer Sutherland).

It is a testimony to the performances of Farrell and Sutherland that Phone Booth, despite its reliance upon thick

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2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

textural dialogue, is as exciting and relentless as any action based thriller.

Phone Booth is succinct, fast paced, extremely well written, and unquestionably one of the most underrated mystery thrillers of the 2000s. Joel Schumacher rarely delivers a film with such a simple and effectual structure; judging on this evidence, it’s something the director should consider doing more often.

Also Watch: Sleuth (1972) Burn After Reading (2008)

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Heat (1995)

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eat, Michael Mann’s crime opera, boasts many things that make it worthy of a watch. One of the most intense shoot-outs in the history of film; icecool cinematography by Dante Pinotti; and an intricately crafted screenplay that poetically explores the morality of ‘cops’ and ‘robbers’ with a maturity, balance, and insight not often found in big budget action blockbusters.

Oh, and it has one of the finest ensemble casts ever assembled. Val Kilmer,

Jon Voight, Tom Sizemore, Ted Levine, Ashley Judd, and Wes Studi may not set pulses quickening nowadays, but back in the mid-nineties, these actors were at the top of their games and even without the one-two headline punch of Al Pacino and Robert De Niro, Heat would be essential viewing for these performances alone.

But let’s be honest, you’re here for Pacino and De Niro, who share the screen here for the first time in their careers. And any time their characters interact, it’s

pure electricity. They have such an indelible chemistry that it’s no surprise that their scenes - most notably the diner scene above - have become icons of contemporary cinema.

If you like your films short, flashy, loud, and dumb, you won’t like Heat. Mann treats you like an intelligent adult with an attention span, which is commendable in itself.

Also Watch: Cape Fear (1991) Scent of a Woman (1992) TW

Sunshine (2007)

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he Good, The Bad, and the Ugly may be Sergio Leone’s most famous spaghetti western – and make no mistake, its final reel is one of the most memorable and powerful climaxes in cinema history – but the film as a whole is self-indulgent and excessive. For a Few Dollars More is Leone at his

most coherent and succinct.

The simplicity of the plot – two bounty hunters (Clint Eastwood and Lee Van Cleef in one of his rare heroic roles) team up to hunt down a vicious bandit – belies its depth and style, and with a final showdown that rivals its more illustrious brother, coupled with an unsurprisingly brilliant Ennio Mor-

ricone score, this might just be not only the best film of the Dollars trilogy but the best western ever made, spaghetti or otherwise.

Also Watch: Once Upon a Time in the West (1968) Unforgiven (1992) TW

limits of plausibility.

Nevertheless, the first two acts are so fantastic that you’ll be willing to forgive Sunshine’s missteps near its ending. Forget Slumdog Millionaire, this is Boyle at his best.

Also Watch: Moon (2009) 127 Hours (2010)

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Fuse.

For a Few Dollars More (1965)

a pant-tighteningly good soundtrack, but also offers an insightful examination of life, death, and God. Unfortunately, as with Garland’s other works, Sunshine’s last act doesn’t live up to the promise of its first two-thirds; it suffers a jarring genre shift and stretches beyond the already stretched

Thursday March 29 2012

n the not-too-distant future, the sun is dying and our planet is trapped in a perpetual, worsening winter. A multi-national crew, headed up by Cillian Murphy and Chris Evans, are sent to reignite the star with a nuclear device.

Standard Sci-Fi fare, right?

Not exactly. Sunshine, the third collaboration between Danny Boyle and Alex Garland, not only boasts an incredible atmosphere, unbelievably real and artistic mise-en-scéne, and

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MUSIC

Interview. THE CROOKES

BRIGHT YOUNG THINGS With a new album on the horizon Coral Williamson and Sam Bolton caught up with The Crookes to draw on walls and chat about New Pop.

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ncharacteristically for Sheffield, the sun is shining and we’ve kidnapped The Crookes on their first day off in weeks.

It’s not a great way to start an interview, but the Sheffield four-piece don’t seem to mind; it might be because they’re hardly dressed for the weather in Doc Martins and a heavy dose of denim. Guitarist Daniel admits, “I think today I would’ve just walked down to the park and laid down in the sun.

We’ve been trapped indoors for the last two weeks.”

Drummer Russell agrees: “I find having a day off really weird. This week, we’ve been doing stuff Monday to Saturday, we finished in the studio at 10 o’clock last night, and coming back I’m just like, ‘oh, we’re going in again on Monday’. I’ve just listened to the tracks we were working on today, thinking about that really.”

“The songs were all written literally during heat waves.”

Fuse.

Thursday March 29 2012

The band (well, three quarters of them, since bassist George turns up 10 minutes into our chat) are clearly excited about how recording has been going. The writing process has been quite different to their debut album, Chasing After Ghosts, as Daniel explains, “the last album was written in winter in Sheffield. A lot of it was about fantasising about being in oasis places.”

The new album though, is “definitely a summer album...[the songs] were all written literally during heat waves.

When it’s sunny outside you can’t write the miserable music we were doing before. You can’t help but write happy music.” The result may actually be the

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soundtrack to your summer, as clichéd as that may sound.

“We just fucked around for two weeks.”

Does this mean there won’t be a repeat of ‘The Crookes Laundry Murder, 1922’, a history lesson in a song? Not at all, says Daniel, who tells us, “there’s a song called ‘The I Love You Bridge’,” after a bridge in Sheffield which had a marriage proposal scrawled across it.

He says the songs are “still romantic with a capital R, but just more optimistic, just happier.”

Russell explains, “we spent some time in Berlin, we went to Tokyo, went to Paris for a little bit, and a lot of the tracks came together then, so it’s definitely a different feel than the last album. We started recording in September, I think. September, October?” Guitarist Daniel shrugs at him in response. “Whatever. We said to our management and our record label, two weeks. We can do it in two weeks.

Ramones-style, we’ll go in and bash it out. And they were like, great, because that means we don’t have to spend any money.”

At this point Daniel interjects: “And we just fucked around for two weeks.”

Russell attempts to justify the time spent, “figuring out the best ways that we could record. We put bin bags over the windows, ‘cause we figured that we work best at night, and our producer was like, well this is really unproductive, we’re wasting time, so we made it dark, and got a really good atmosphere, and that took two weeks. And then we said, oh we haven’t done anything... can we have some more money? They went, oh god, okay then. And basically this process has carried on until now,

“There’s a romance about being English”

“Forge Press is good!”

Photos: Edward Miller (edwardmillerphoto.com)

Fuse.

He also has kind words for Hey Sholay, and some other staples of Sheffield. “Hey Sholay are brilliant, really nice guys, and Richard Hawley is a guy who’s helped us out in numerous ways.” Russell notes, “I really like Sheffield, and the city’s really supported us.

Especially people like Richard who’s been a massive help. There’s a lot of people who bullshit you in the music business, it’s 90 per cent bullshit, so it’s really good to have some people to tell you it straight.”

What about other bands in Sheffield?

Daniel admits, “we stole Tom from another Sheffield band,” referring to Silent Film Project. Russell is a little more wary of other bands, saying, “when we first started as a band, we obviously weren’t from Sheffield, we’re all from university, but I think some people from other bands might’ve been a bit annoyed, they thought we were sponging off their Sheffield thing. But I don’t think that’s true.”

There’s no reason for The Crookes to feel bad about being an adopted Sheffield band; they’re incredibly fond of the city, going so far as to name themselves after the student area they once lived in. They even have some kind words for Forge Press, as Russell enthuses, “Forge Press is good! I still pick up Forge Press – I bet this’ll be the comment at the top – I still pick it up when I’m walking by.”

Well, we are pretty good at what we do.

It seems that every day music diversifies and grows and journalists slap increasingly vague genre labels on bands that do things a bit differently, and however useful that may be it can get somewhat perplexing. Hence the confusion around New Pop, the umbrella term that The Crookes have found themselves placed under. So what, exactly, is New Pop? “That’s a question Tom’s mum asked the other day, isn’t it?” Russell laughs.

“No-one knows, actually. She said, ‘what is New Pop, is it like New Labour?’ Hopefully its legacy won’t quite be as bad,” replies Tom. It was Steve Lamacq who first coined the term to describe their music. “I think it’s just a term for bands like us and The Heartbreaks and Frankie and the Heartstrings,” explains George.

“New Pop’s been a phrase used to describe all sorts of different scenes that have happened in the last 50 years. I think Kajagoogoo were described as New Pop in the 80s” he adds. “We are heavily influenced by them,” interjects a sarcastic Russell.

The Crookes are light hearted and good natured, and that comes across in their music. It’s the very reason why their fans are so keen to send them Dutch care packages.

Thursday March 29 2012

“Basically, I’m completely computer illiterate. A lot of the time I’ll play guitar or write some music but then I’m left twiddling my thumbs, so I thought it was something for me to do.

“It started out as a way to give the people who like our band a bit more of a physical product, because it’s amazing being able to talk to them all 24/7, but they never have anything to hold in their hands.

“It’s really good fun for us, because we’ve started incorporating – instead of it being a really self-indulgent band thing, talking about ourselves, which we do anyway – we wanted to try and branch out and promote things we like, so we always feature new bands from Sheffield, or people we’ve met on tour.”

He laughs, “it’s basically what we think, in 10 pages of bad handwriting.”

On May 1, The Crookes will grace

the stage of The Harley with friends and labelmates Hey Sholay for a free gig in association with Last.FM. “I think we’ve played at The Harley more than any other venue. When we first started off four years ago we played there 1112 times, and often there was no-one there, so it’ll be nice to come back and play it when there is.” says Dan. “I think we just want to make it as rammed as physically possible, and just give it a good atmosphere,” adds Russell.

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and we’ve finally finished.”

Dan tells us how being on an indie label gives them great creative control, even if there’s not much in the coffers, “they let us do anything we want really. As long as we don’t lose loads of money,” adds Russell, “being on an indie label, in the back of our minds we’re always kind of thinking, ‘if we spent a thousand pounds doing this, how are we going to recover that?’”

One thing the band are keen to make sure of with the new album is that people are getting their money’s worth.

They’re keen to offer something to the fans to encourage physical CD sales and dissuade people from illegal downloading, “yeah I do think it’s really important, the artwork’s considered, we always make sure the lyrics are available to read and it always links together.”

Although they keep tight-lipped on the album’s title, it’s nice to hear that it’s finished. Daniel tells us that they’re mastering it now, “which is the most stressful part, everyone just battles to have their individual instrument turned up louder.” Russell announces that the album’s “just going to be deafeningly loud”, which isn’t something we’re going to complain about any time soon.

So do they see themselves turning in Arctic Monkeys and jetting off to America once this album takes off? Russell laughs, “maybe not America. Probably just leave England, it rains a lot here, that’s the only thing.” He adds, “I think people in Europe are attracted to the English thing.” Daniel agrees, “I think there’s a romance about being English in Europe, when you’re in England, people don’t care. We play up to that quite a bit.”

Well, that explains their somewhat fervent fanbase. Daniel enjoys telling us about “there are these girls in Denmark who send us care packages every few months, full of sweets and chocolate and stuff.” The Crookes are one of those bands who enjoy getting to know their fans, putting their address on their fanzine and letting people write back.

George perks up at mention of the fanzine, and explains how it all started.

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MUSIC

Reviews.RELEASES

Bear In Heaven I Love You, It’s Cool

Dead Oceans / Hometapes 8/10

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ear In Heaven’s second album, I Love You, It’s Cool, is another demonstration of their iconic futuristic sound.

They’ve kept their punchy synth sound and dreamy lyrics that are reminiscent of both the modern and the classic electropop music we all know and love.

While that is good, what really makes this album is the obvious thought that has gone into the composition of the melodies, beats and lyrics which effervesce a complex simplicity that give Bear In Heaven’s new al-

Now Playing ith the abundance

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bum an almost psychedelic feel.

The songs flow in and out of one another easily and effortlessly, and it really gives the whole album an upbeat, yet incredibly chilled out atmosphere.

The album starts with ‘Idle Heart’, which uses deep bass and synth and soft lyrics to make an upbeat, yet relaxed introduction to the album.

An interlude of heavy synth percussion breaks up the song nicely, and the track carries on with this beat until the end. This not only breaks the song’s mesmerizing flow, but also catches the listener’s attention and engages them with the music.

The relaxed feel of the album emits a chilled out ambiance, but alongside this are punchy tracks

with a lively, active vibe.

The contrast between the euphoria and the chilled out atmosphere is very pleasing to the ear and really is what gives Bear In Heaven their iconic sound.

The album finishes with ‘Sweetness and Sickness’, which is slower and more contemplative, yet still upbeat. A gentle bass line and soft, echoing lyrics give a slow, pleasant ending to the album.

I Love You, It’s Cool is definitely worth a listen.

It’s unique and interesting and most of all, it’s obvious that the band has taken the time and effort to put something together that meant something to them; that, if nothing else, deserves credit.

Jack Crisfield

of new releases each week it can be difficult to sift through the shit in search of the gold so Fuse has handpicked some of the musical highlights for you.

To start things off, we’re going with an oldie (well, it’s been out for a month). ‘Chevy Thunder’ was the highlight of Spector’s gig at The Bowery a couple of weeks ago, as anyone who managed to get in before the place reached capacity will tell you (you can also check out our review of the night on p.11).

Yes, it’s true that we love it even more because frontman Fred Macpherson changed the chorus to “Sheffield thunder” just for us, but the original track is just as fantastically thunderous.

We’ve also come over all political with Plan B, whose newest single ‘ill Manors’ was released this week. It’s a maelstrom of intertextuality, anger and general disapprovable of the Tory government. And frankly, it’s nice to see a mainstream artist actually have an opinion about something.

Lostprophets Weapons Epic UK 7/10

The Futureheads Rant

Nul Records 7/10

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he Futureheads have genuine grass-roots origins, using the Sunderland City Detached Youth Project, as a free rehearsal space, and going from strength to strength through word of mouth, not commercial publicity.

Given this humble background, the style and atmosphere of the group’s fifth album would appear to be in many ways a logical continuation of the group’s original pioneering spirit.

Germinating from a cover of Kelis’ song ‘Acapella’ for Radio 1’s Live Lounge, and recorded without a single musical instrument, Rant developed natu-

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Thursday March 29 2012

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rally, in step with the band’s progression in the art of a cappella singing.

Rant is assuredly new territory for The Futureheads. Gone are ‘traditional’ instruments, replaced with the oldest, simplest form of musical creation: the human voice. And when this collection of human voices is headed up by vocalist Barry Hyde, it works very well indeed.

The agility with which The Futureheads have taken to this arguably archaic medium is breathtaking, and testifies to artistic unity already present in previous releases.

Rant is an album of exploration; it covers The Black Eyed Peas’ ‘Meet Me Halfway’ with a fantastic sense of melancholy, and includes four traditional English folk songs, plus the Kelis track that inspired the album.

Each song has its hallmark,

from the traditional ‘storytelling’ lyrics key to folk tradition, as in ‘Beeswing’, a poignant boymeets-girl tale.

Equally, lyrics elsewhere retain the pithy observation of the group’s previous work - as album opener ‘Meantime’ affirms, “It’s not interesting / to have false conversations”.

Listen to Rant if you are a fan of The Futureheads - the band themselves have claimed that anyone who doesn’t like it is not a bona fide fan.

Alternatively, listen to Rant if you believe that music is best at its purest, and that the human voice is a much underrated instrument.

Kirsty Moyse Follow us on Twitter @ForgePressMusic

veryone loved Lostprophets, back in the day. Start Something provided the soundtrack to our school years and Liberation Transmission wasn’t that bad either.

But last album, The Betrayed, was disappointing. Maybe it was because we had grown older, or become jaded, but it was forgettable and listening to it won’t rekindle nostalgic memories. So, is Weapons a return to form?

Opening track ‘Bring ‘Em Down’ is a belter that could quite easily serve as opener for their live sets.

‘We Bring an Arsenal’ is upbeat and powerful too, but there’s something amiss about it.

‘Another Shot’ slows the pace; the melody flows freely and features an irresistible singalong poppunk chorus.

‘Jesus Walks’, however, will get you going like Russell Brand in a college sorority. The melodic

Though it’s not technically a single (yet), Beck’s newest track, is a fantastic meandering country song with a tinge of melancholy. It’s part of the soundtrack to Jason Segel’s newest comedy, Jeff, Who Lives At Home.

We really like championing local music, so we’re more than happy to tell you about Polkadodge. ‘Closer’ and ‘Serenade’ are particular favourites of ours.

You can catch them supporting The Draymin at The Cobden View on April 21. Oh, and the bassist is none other than Screen editor Tom Fletcher, which is nice.

Finally, last week we discovered what may possibly be the best band name ever: Crash & The Bandicoots. If you like a good dose of lo-fi pop, you could do much worse than the free download of ‘Brian Fury Wins!’ on their Bandcamp page.

Well, that pretty much wraps up our last ever Now Playing.

We’ve had a lot of fun as your music editors this year, and we hope we’ve introduced you to some fantastic music, both here in this little pink box, and in the section as a whole.

We hope you have a fantastic Easter break; thanks for reading, you lovely beautiful people.

verses and catchy choruses are refined, polished and more addictive than a bag of uncut class As. ‘A Song for Where I’m From’ is the album’s standout track, sounding like it could have been lifted straight from Liberation Transmission. That is not a bad thing.

‘A Little Reminder That I’ll Never Forget’ is slower again and verges on the more pop side of pop-punk. ‘Better Off Dead’, the first song to be shown off from the album, has Ian Watkins rapping his little Welsh face off. But he pulls it off and the chorus hits you like a punch in the face.

‘Somedays’ is introverted, acoustic and beautiful. It is another damn fine track. The album ends with a crescendo on ‘Can’t Get Enough’.

Dare we say it? This is a great album and a fantastic return for Lostprophets. Providing you’re into infectious lyrics, bang tidy choruses and alternative rock in general, you’ll love this album.

Mark McKay

MUSIC

Reviews. LIVE

Blessa: Paula Goodale

spector

The Bowery

Wednesday March 14

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pector’s Fred Macphearson proclaims “We wanted to give you the gift of song” to a tightly packed Bowery as they take a break from their tour supporting Florence and the Machine.

The gift of song was definitely given, but so was the gift of humour. It almost seems too long since a band with this much chemistry has graced one of the many stages of Sheffield.

Not only were the audience treated to a magnificent performance by Spector, but also from opening act, Sheffield’s own BLESSA. BLESSA have gained some se-

rious recognition in and around the city and from tonight’s show, it’s not hard to understand why.

The five-piece have the appearance that they’ve just sauntered out of the early 90s and their music joins it in perfect unison.

Front woman Olivia Neller’s strong vocals rang out across the crowd and she graced the stage with the kind of affecting presence that other female leads, such as Florence Welch, exude.

Tracks such as ‘Vices’ and ‘Hunter’s Hands’ stood out and are also available as free downloads from the band’s Bandcamp.

Spector began with one of their most well known tracks, ‘What You Wanted’ which was released in late September.

The impressive energy of the band and their easy personal-

ity was felt straight away and Macphearson kept the entertainment strong between songs, including demanding drinks offers from the bar and thanking the audience for actually showing up.

The band also played their most recent single, ‘Chevy Thunder’ although they re-named it ‘Sheffield Thunder’ - much to the delight of the audience.

The performance showcased the tight laced tracks from Spector’s yet to be released debut album, but really the band’s stage persona made the night.

It’s refreshing to see a band as enthusiastic as Spector perform and they remind you why we bother with this thing called music after all.

Amelia Heathman

Seth Lakeman Plug

Thursday March 22

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vast array of different people, varying in age, demeanour and style waited eagerly for Seth Lakeman to appear on the large stage of Plug’s main room.

It became abundantly clear that this was a gig that many in the room had been anticipating and that Lakeman is not short of adoring fans.

Seth Lakeman wasted little time after the gentle folky support of Winter Mountain and took to the stage to the theatrical sound of thunder and stomping.

There was something quite melancholic and gloomy about the first two songs, ‘More Than Money’ and ‘Blacksmith’s Prayer’, which are new, but this soon changed and the rest of the set

Seth Lakeman: Hannah Frost

Summer Camp Monday March 19

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Amelia Heathman

Fuse.

ummer Camp, who formed in 2009 and released their first full length LP, Welcome to Condale in 2011, performed at an extremely tightly-packed Harley to a bunch of what can only be described as double denim, vintage wearing, adoring fans.

The atmosphere for Fixers’ support set was slightly different to that of Summer Camp’s.

Fixers left something to be desired overall; though the music was good and the band themselves appeared to be having a good time, the audience was stood in almost stony silence.

This may have been down to the fact it was just a hard crowd to please or the issue that Fixers offered little between songs

also serves as the title track of their album and ‘I Want You’, a haunting tale that draws the fine line between adoration and obsession: “I’d make you love me so much you’ll have to ask permission to breath.”

Sankey’s voice is even more impressive live than it is on the record, something she displays perfectly well with an acoustic version of ‘Losing My Mind’, which involved weaving her way through the crowd and sporadically dancing and serenading members of the audience before inviting them to join in with the chorus a cappella.

Summer Camp put on such a unique and enigmatic show that you can’t help feel that everyone after will pale in comparison.

Lianne Williams

Thursday March 29 2012

The Harley

apart from declaring the name of the next track. Even standout singles such as ‘Iron Deer Dream’ and ‘Majesties Ranch’ didn’t appear to have much of an impact on the spectators.

Despite some slight technical hiccups, which lead singer Elizabeth Sankey hoped would make the band appear more endearing, Summer Camp stormed through a ferocious set of favourites from their album and a taster of new material that served to only increase their appeal.

With a back drop showing scenes of various 80s films including Footloose and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off that could easily be considered distracting, Sankey and guitarist, Jeremy Warmsley, had the ability to keep your attention focused and leave you wanting more.

Highlights included opening track ‘Welcome to Condale’, about an American suburb which

Spector: Paula Goodale was fiercely upbeat.

Lakeman’s vocals are deep, controlled and so powerful that he sounds like he could front a classic rock band, but with an added country feel. Even though his style of music isn’t to everyone’s taste, it is difficult to fault his raw talent and showmanship. This man is a maestro at the viola and on some songs he played so rapidly that he broke part of his bow, with the lighting behind him changing colour and pulsating as he played faster.

‘A Hard Road’, where halfway through Lakeman gets the whole crowd singing along, shouting “It’s a hard road on your own”, is unforgettable. His set draws to a close with an encore of ‘High Street Blues’ where the over-excited drummer goes crazy on the maracas.

Summer Camp: Paula Goodale

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SCREEN

Reviews.

ACT OF VALOR

Dir: Mike McCoy and Scott Waugh 5/10

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he concept behind Act of Valor is a fascinating and unique one.

At first glance it seems like a typical modern war film – a highly-skilled task force rescue a kidnapped CIA operative, and in the process discover a terrorist plot against America.

But this time, the actors aren’t actors. They’re the real thing; US Navy SEALs who are still in active duty. The movie started life as a short propaganda film, but its two directors – Mike McCoy and Scott Waugh – chose to use the same soldiers as the protagonists in their story.

On paper, this sounds like a perfect idea – Generation Kill, the critically acclaimed series based on Operation Iraqi Freedom, was applauded for its realistic portrayal of soldiers in the field and military procedures; so swapping the actors with the real thing would surely be the next logical step?

Unfortunately, there’s a problem with using soldiers

Cult Corner.

ESCAPE TO VICTORY Dir: John Huston 1981

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instead of actors: they can’t act. Their lines are delivered awkwardly, almost robotically, and make the fictional plot seem cheesier and clunkier than it should have been. As in Generation Kill, the soldiers have very little that keep their personalities distinct from each other, and this ultimately makes them less relatable as people.

There is camaraderie between the soldiers, as you’d expect from a group of men who regularly risk their lives together, and admittedly it is refreshing to see an action movie that doesn’t involve one man killing every member of Al-Qaeda with nothing but a sharpened toothbrush. But it seems too quiet, too subtle, when compared to the slightly larger than life characters of films like Jarhead and The Hurt Locker.

The cinematography too is a mixed bag. There are some absolutely gorgeous shots in this movie – including footage of a Black Hawk flying across Filipino sunset that could have come straight out of Apocalypse Now – and the combat sequences are tense, claustrophobic and immersive. When the bullets (actual tracer bullets, mind you)

start to fly it suddenly becomes very real, and you really have to respect what these men have willingly signed themselves up for.

However, again there are moments that don’t work. A lot of footage is taken from cameras mounted on the soldiers’ helmets, and in theory you understand why it was done; but the result just looks like a live-action Call of Duty fanvid.

Same goes for the language used; the military codes like ‘Tango’, ‘Lima Charlie’, and ‘Oscar Mike’ may be accurate, but they become confusing too quickly and serve only to bog down the story.

As much as it deserves to, Act of Valor does not work as a movie.

The directors’ decision to use real soldiers instead of actors is a commendable one, and you have to respect the Navy SEALs for agreeing to relive their personal experiences of warfare for the sake of what is basically entertainment.

But this film tries too hard to bridge the gap between documentary and war fiction, and ultimately it fails to be either.

Thursday March 29 2012

THE APPRENTICE

Fuse.

Tom Fletcher

Phil Bayles

Small Screen.

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f there was ever a truly pivotal moment in cinematic history, Michael Caine teaming up with Sylvester Stallone and Pelé to play football against the Nazis is certainly a contender.

Escape to Victory takes place in Nazi-occupied France, and tells the story of a group of allied POWs who are set the task of preparing for an exhibition football match against the German national team.

Needless to say, the whole shebang is a shameless propaganda stunt by the Nazi government Predictably, and perhaps unfortunately, the film’s premise isn’t just nucleated around a glorious football match, but, as the title suggests, a daring escape attempt.

You probably don’t need to be told that the plot of this film is beyond ridiculous, but it’s bloody entertaining stuff.

The film also features cameos from football superstars such as England’s World Cup winning captain, Bobby Moore. So, needless to say, attention at the

time was intense.

We know what you’re thinking: Sylvester Stallone can’t play football, can he? You would be right.

Michael Caine stars as Captain John Colby, a former player at West Ham United, who sets out to build his team to take on the Germans.

Initially, and understandably, he refuses to pick the loutish American POW Hatch (Stallone), but he is eventually nagged into letting Rambo play in goal.

The German football team proves to be dirtier than a Leeds defender diving into a septic tank, and the biased German officials effectively scupper any chance the Allies might have had to emerge victorious.

Escape to Victory is filled with political subtext and moralistic undertones, but let’s face it, nobody really cares.

Michael Caine was in his absolute prime at this point, and Escape to Victory proves that, whatever his film might be about, he can maintain a plot effortlessly, no matter how bizarre.

Besides, how many double Oscar winners can claim to have played alongside Bobby Moore, Pelé and Rocky Balboa?

Wednesday, 9pm BBC1

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or a show that says its main focus is business it’s almost certain that most people don’t watch The Apprentice to admire the various candidates’ competence with margins, sales, profits, and various other words that mean ‘making money’.

No, we’re in it for the egos, the backstabbing, bickering, and massive shows of incompetence.

Good thing then that even though the show is in its eighth series the production team still has an uncanny skill for finding the most delusional souls out there and showing them at their worst and most hilarious.

This year’s collection doesn’t seem to be disappointing either with its own fair share of

exaggerated personalities.

Recruitment team leader and amateur wrestler Ricky Martin is apparently ‘like a shark, right at the top of the food chain’ and ‘the reflection of perfection’ all said without a hint of irony showing in his baby like vacant blue eyes.

Meanwhile, 33-year-old Azhar Siddique who has given himself the moniker ‘The Puppet Master’, a name that fits just as well in the pages of an old comic book as it doesn’t in the boardroom.

Despite this ego boosting though there was a strange sense of fatalism amongst the boys’ team in this first episode: calling themselves Phoenix so they can do a ham fisted ‘rising out of the ashes’ metaphor when they inevitably lose.

Most telling, though, is the way they sat in silence as none of them wanted to be project manager, knowing that it would be their neck on the line if the team failed in this first task. It shows that the way to win the show is not only about being ‘good at business’

but playing to its own internal rules and conventions.

The girls meanwhile already had cracks showing between their powerful personalities.

Throughout the episode there was a low rumble of discontent with ‘Blond Assassin’ Jenny, possibly she called herself that because of her ability to remain virtually silent for long periods of time, and her lack of participation. It will be interesting to see how far she goes and whether her passive personality can keep up with her more forceful companions.

The Apprentice hasn’t changed much from the previous years; the only real new gimmick being the new prize of a £250,000 investment rather than an actual job.

However, as long as we have a collection of egotistical maniacs and an audience who enjoys watching them fail it’s not going anywhere soon.

You might as well enjoy the ride.

Tom King

Dir: Gary Ross 8/10

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ased on the bestselling trilogy by Suzanne Collins and hailed as the “next big thing” in the teen film genre, The Hunger Games’ impressive credentials make it well worth a look.

Set in a futuristic world, the film surrounds the dystopian nation of Panem, which has risen from the ruins of what was once North America. In Panem, a competition known as the Hunger Games is held each year. This is in order to commemorate the unsuccessful uprising of its poor districts against the wealthy ruling Capitol.

One boy and girl from each of the 12 districts are selected to participate in the games, a televised battle to the death which, as the movie’s tagline declares, “the world will be watching”. What’s more, only one contestant will survive this skirmish.

The film opens with protagonist Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) reassuring her little sister Prim (Willow Shields) that as this is the first time her name has been entered for the games, she is unlikely to be selected to compete.

However, when Prim is miraculously chosen to represent District 12, Katniss offers to take her place in a moving act of self-sacrifice.

Chosen to compete alongside

THIS MUST BE THE PLACE Dir: Paolo Sorrentino 4/10

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“The Hunger Games exposes the shallowness of our TV appetites”

Olivia Middleton

pitiful and sympathetic as the ‘narrative’, for lack of a better word, progresses.

The performance is neither good nor bad, merely interesting, a caricatured Ozzy Osborneesque recovering addict that will stick in memory for a while to

come.

This Must Be The Place has all the makings of a sad, sweet song, but is instead a headache-inducing cacophony of miscellanea that never quite knows what it wants to be. Unless you’re a follower of Sorrentino

or Penn’s work or a rabid Talking Heads fan, move on; this isn’t the place.

Tom Wardak This Must Be The Place is released on April 6.

Fuse.

Sorrentino plants too many seeds in one flowerpot and instead of flourishing together, their roots strangle each other and we are served a catalectic knot of narratives and themes.

The abundance of false starts and loose threads – the up-andcoming band that Cheyenne considers producing in one scene that is never mentioned again, the depressed fan who abandons his mother, the yuppie who lends Cheyenne his Jeep that spontaneously combusts and is forgotten about in the next scene – means that This Must Be The Place’s sparse moments of brilliance, such as David Byrne of the Talking Head’s extended cameo (his score for the film is also fantastic), are lost in the junk heap of inconsequential random encounters and embryonic ideas.

However, you have to applaud Sean Penn for his portrayal of the mumbling man-child Cheyenne, if only for keeping a straight-face throughout.

His costume is an intentionally ridiculous homage to The Cure’s Robert Smith and his voice sounds like a weird amalgamation of Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man and Truman Capote. The novelty never wears off and it makes the film easier to sit through.

Yet there are brief glimpses beneath the façade of makeup and lipstick and Cheyenne transforms from risible to

both believable and extremely touching.

Additionally, the film is beautifully shot, interspersing gritty images of Panem’s broken down society with the vivid wilderness setting of the games.

The costumes of the Capitol’s citizens are also visually stunning – a bizarre cross between Victorian London and the kind of attire you would expect from a Tim Burton film.

Unfortunately, an otherwise fantastic film was let down by a weak and anticlimactic ending.

D i r e c t o r Gary Ross was evidently paving the way for another instalment; however, the overall effect was simply ambiguous.

Aside from this though, the world should be watching The Hunger Games. This is an excellent film, with first-rate acting from its cast and an unforgettable storyline which will get you thinking for days afterwards.

Thursday Friday October March 29 7 2012 2011

fter meeting a tattooed stranger in a dingy American bar, Cheyenne (Sean Penn) muses, “Have you noticed how nobody works anymore and everybody does something artistic?” Such is the problem with This Must Be the Place, Italian director Paolo Sorrentino’s English language debut – a surreal road movie that aspires to high art but simply doesn’t work.

The film follows Cheyenne, a depressed, middle-aged ex-rock star living in opulent retirement in his Dublin mansion, who travels across America to find a Nazi war criminal who tormented his father in Auschwitz.

Or at least, that’s what’s touted in the trailers.

In truth, the Nazi hunt plot isn’t introduced until about halfway through the film’s runtime and even then it isn’t given much focus; instead This Must Be the Place is a leisurely meander through Ireland and the United States that flits between plot and subplot arbitrarily, and the Holocaust material that should climax in a cathartic crescendo is so diluted that when it all comes together, it passes by almost unnoticed.

Katniss is Peeta Mellark (Josh Hutcherson), who is secretly infatuated with her.

Katniss and Peeta therefore begin training for the fight ahead, whilst simultaneously attempting to win the support of the Capitol’s citizens, who can sponsor contestants during the games and provide them with tools to aid their survival.

Although the plot may sound like a bit of a sick premise, the film isn’t too graphic in terms of violence.

However, when the games actually commence, watching children involved in such barbaric circumstances can often feel rather disturbing. It is hard to escape the idea that much like the citizens of the Capitol, we as cinema-goers are sharing in Katniss and Peeta’s ordeal as though it is little more than entertainment.

The film also serves to expose the increasing shallowness of our current television appetites. We live in a society obsessed by reality TV, and here, we see the devastating effect that this obsession could have if we allow it to continue.

With regard to the cast, some critics have described Lawrence’s performance as rather wooden, but in truth, she plays the quietly brave and resilient Katniss perfectly.

Lawrence and Shields’ portrayal of their sisterly bond is also noteworthy, as it is

SCREEN

THE HUNGER GAMES

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GAMES

Reviews.

Editorial.

Thursday March 29 2012

n March 26, the news broke that mega UK retailer GAME is going into administration.

As sad as this news is for the 600 employees whose jobs are at risk, it raises the question: is this just a company failing to move with the times quick enough and falling victim to the credit crunch, or symptomatic of a changing world where most shoppers choose to make their purchases online?

First it was Woolworths, then Borders, then most recently La Senza – all longestablished, well known businesses – but this is the first time a business that specialises in such ‘modern’ fare as computer games has been seen to be on the brink of shutting down.

But is it really such a loss?

Most savvy gamers will admit to mainly using stores for trading in old games and picking up second hand purchases on the cheap, whilst doing all of their major purchases online where the cost is often significantly reduced.

Indeed, with videogames generally being so expensive, it’s almost unsurprising that in these austere times retailers are struggling to shift full price new releases.

Then again, as any confused mother who wanders in knowing her son wants for his birthday the game ‘with the cars’ but no more than that, shops such as GAME can offer a level of expertise and help in person that will be sadly missed if the highstreet video game retailer were to disappear completely. Even the most hardcore gamer can learn a thing or two from the employees, or at least have a good chat with someone about their favourite game.

At time of print GAME’s future remains uncertain, and only time will tell whether that personal touch will be enough to preserve it, at least for a little while longer.

Fuse.

PC/XBOX 360/PS3

8/10

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Mass effect 3

Ellen Jurczak Arnold Bennett games@forgetoday.com

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t’s quiet now. Moments ago we were frantically emptying assault rifle clips into the horde of biotic, undead monstrosities whose only priority was to cease our existence.

In the mere seconds we have to look back down from atop the evac vessel, we see in the midst of the warzone a small child. He looks at us helplessly before his gaze is blown away by the same horde we just escaped.

Welcome back to Mass Effect friends – and that’s only the first level.

Back for its third and final instalment, this time round Commander Shepherd really shows the Reapers why he (or she) won’t go down without a fight.

With numerous side quests and a host of new characters packed into the equation, Mass Effect 3 promises to end the series on the mother of all highs.

In terms of gameplay, it rarely strays from the more shooter driven style of the previous instalment. This isn’t a bad thing; Mass Effect 2 was one of the real highlights of 2010. The few adjustments that have been made are more aesthetic than anything else.

Weapon mods, which were previously only seen during battle sequences, can now be viewed when upgrades are being made. This might be a vain attempt at crowd pleasing, but it works. It’ll give you a taste of which scope you’re going to use to blow the chromosomes off almost anything running your way.

Indeed the level design is lazier still. The combat is at least recycled from original content, and although no two worlds

are alike, the structure of each level is far too familiar. Playing across a field more reminiscent of Gears of War than of anything Mass Effect, Commander Shepard could just as easily be Marcus Fenix; perhaps then the counsel might actually listen.

However, as Mass Effect 3 is the first in the series to endorse Kinect, we could forgive the lack of development if the Kinect content was of any actual use. It isn’t.

Voice commands and dialogue choices are not only irrelevant, they’re also a little bit silly. Nobody in their right mind would be comfortable engaging in a conversation with their TV; especially as the controller already has a simple means of doing it for you.

Yet it’s important to remember that this is a BioWare game, so the above factors were never the real focus. As ever, the story is incredible.

With breath-taking scenes of galactic annihilation, coupled with the moral decisions of life and death, Mass Effect 3 evokes the biggest emotive response in the series to date.

The abundance of subplot missions and the subtle inclusion of the ‘war room’ increase the longevity of the game, making it feel like an actual war; you really start to empathise with the victims.

Unfortunately, due to this heavy focus on the drama of war, the game plays more like a film; particularly in the opening stages, where the cut scene lengths verge on intolerable. As such, the game is less challenging, going as far as to include a ‘Narrative’ mode where the game play’s significantly easier.

This isn’t necessarily a problem though. Once again, the art team at BioWare have outdone themselves, meaning sitting back and stargazing is a joy to behold; it’s truly a work of art.

Tomb raider PS1/PSN

RETRO CORNER

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he first videogame to star everyone’s favourite hot pants wearing archaeologist, Lara Croft, was released in 1996 and ever since Square Enix has been cashing in on the franchise as well as trying to recreate its magic.

The game follows English heiress Lara Croft around the world as she uncovers various important mystical artefacts relating to the lost city of Atlantis, having to traverse a multitude of traps, climb, leap and swim to hard to reach locations and shoot anything that gets in her way, including dinosaurs.

Ok, so it’s even less of an accurate depiction of archaeological expeditions than Indiana Jones but hey, who wants a game where you sit and dig methodically for several hours before getting unreasonably excited over a small chip of pottery you uncover?

Despite many sequels, reimaginings and even a planned reboot for later this year, Tomb Raider

All in all, Mass Effect 3 isn’t a bad game; in fact, it’s a very good game. Yet compared to the epic strides made by its predecessor, it comes up a little short. Hollow attempts at progression have been made, such as the inclusion of multiplayer levels, but they’re nothing special.

Although it’s by no means the best in the series, as a conclusion to the story of Commander Sheppard, it’s more than adequate. BioWare have kept quiet so far on the future of the Mass Effect universe, but let’s hope it’s not the end.

Oh and by the way, keep an eye out for the ending; it’s a corker.

Matt Hawker

remains the most critically acclaimed game in the series. It was widely praised for its revolutionary, state-of-the-art graphics, inventive gameplay, and involving storyline, and these features combined with an amazingly atmospheric soundtrack and cinematic approach to gameplay created a level of sophistication that was at the time unprecedented.

As a result, the game sold 8 million copies worldwide, topped the British charts a record three times, and contributed much to the success of the PlayStation.

More revolutionary still was the character of Lara herself.

Yes, her clothing may have been just a little too skimpy to be considered practical for jungle exploration and her chest a little too unfeasibly large, but this was still one of the very first times a videogame had not been told from a purely male perspective, having instead a hard-edged, dual pistol wielding female heroine taking on the bad guys. Put simply, there’s a reason she almost instantly became, and still remains, one of the major video game icons of all time.

Besides, how many other fictional characters can you think of

who have been the face of Lucozade?

The puzzles and enemies are challenging, and the smoothness of the controls holds up impressively.

Despite the graphics obviously looking far less than perfect compared to the standard we’re accustomed to today, the level design remains inventive, ranging from tight caverns to expansive temples, with a wonderful level of detail.

It handles the platformer elements very well, with gamers having to judge the gap just right when leaping for a ledge, the puzzles (often involving switches and moving ledges) are well thought out, stimulating and only occasionally frustrating, and the variety of weapons helps make it a more than serviceable action/ adventure too.

Though it may not have been perfect, there’s no denying just how influential Tomb Raider was, not only through creating a new model of badass female heroine but also by providing a very solid template that many action/ adventure games have tried to emulate since.

Ellen Jurczak

ARTS

Reviews.

Words: Phil Bayles and Rhiannon Pickin

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the shrimps

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9/10

o Not Adjust Your Stage deserves a medal for its fantastic display of physical and verbal comedy that brought uproar on Saturday night. A team of quick-thinking performers, armed with a guitarist to set each scene perfectly to music, brought the audience into the action as suggestions framed sketches based around soaps, documentaries and news programmes. Through relying purely on their own imaginations and the ways in which they bounced off each other, they managed to take difficult suggestions like ‘tube lighting’, dildos and Roman Polanski and bring the night to a close on an extremely high note. context of New Labour’s champagne socialism. In 2012, Paul Miller’s production develops a greater significance as an allegory of a divided coalition where compromise is key and the adage that “under capitalism, man is oppressed by man; under socialism, it’s the other way round” rings piercingly through the air.

The shortfall of an all-male cast and the uncompromising political theme are loosened slightly by some persuasive touches.

Brandt’s butler is the only character to question the morality of his master’s sexual infidelities in a prosaic Yorkshire trawl reminiscent of Shakespeare’s insightful laymen.

The result is a fiercely intelligent, immaculately acted production; if a little anti-climatic.

Laura Connor

Circus showmen

Western Bank 6/10

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he colourful Circus Showmen exhibition tells the story of the 250 year history of the circus industry and the individuals who have changed the face of the entertainment sector; introducing us to the concept of a mass entertainment culture.

The exhibition provides a chronological account of the various ‘founding fathers’ of the British circus using an array of historical paraphernalia and documents.

The display celebrates the lives and careers of circus personalities.

The programmes, posters, instruments, costumes, newspapers and flyers that are displayed here promote such sights as trapeze acts, performing lions and ‘singing donkeys’.

The exhibition also shows off video footage from various performances.

Circus Showmen takes you on a nostalgic journey through a part of British history which has entertained us for over two centuries.

Fuse.

But the audience knows from the offset that Guillaume’s communist convictions are never as sharp as his aides in the East, despite him sporting a brown suit: the sartorial symbol of the East.

You would be forgiven for thinking that the plot could get a little turgid.

But Frayn’s interlocking narratives and fraught soliloquies transport us into the more uncertain world of politicians’ private lives where wives and children become mere shadows of the political eclipse.

They become an allegory of how the West Berliners see their estranged eastern neighbours, who are seen as different and separate, yet always hanging over them like an unwanted but unavoidable stench.

When first performed in 2003, the play sat firmly in the satirical

unday night saw the University’s own improv group bring the weekend to a close on excellent form, with a selection of fast-paced games and challenges that had the audience crying with laughter. The audience was wellinvolved throughout providing scenarios for the performers, and they did not go easy on them – the weird and wonderful suggestions pushed the group’s imaginations (and the boundaries of good taste) to their absolute limit, and sometimes there wasn’t a straight face on or off the stage. The show ended in a thoroughly deserved standing ovation.

Thursday March 29 2012

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ootlights alumni Frimston and Rowett were on excellent form with an hour of sketches that were frantic, funny and extremely intelligent.

Sketches such as two mobsters talking about their friends’ confusing nicknames showed a mastery of language that Fry and Laurie would be proud of, while the bird-based puns (of which there were surprisingly many) elicited many a good-hearted groan from the audience – ‘Owl-schwitz’ was a particular favourite. With some fantastic choices of music, and a surprising amount of nudity, Frimston and Rowett managed to return to certain situations againand again and still keep the material brilliantly fresh.

Do Not Adjust Your Stage 8/10

n the climax of the Crucible’s much-anticipated Michael Frayn season, Democracy catapults the audience straight from the domestic backdrop of Benefactors to the testosteronefuelled politics of post-war Germany.

Democracy follows Communist spy Gunter Guillaume as he is planted in Willy Brandt’s coalition government by the East Berlin regime.

Aidan McArdle’s Guillaume seems deliberately irritating as a capricious political puppet of both the East and the West, when he becomes inevitably infatuated

by Brandt’s silky charisma.

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ambridge Footlights group Sheeps are a prime example of what the student comedy scene has to offer. The off the wall sketches threw the audience into instant fits of laughter, with a musical melody of Oliver quickly seguéing into waggish flashback sketches and historical farces with an intense aura of surrealism thrown into the mix at every angle. This however was clearly its downfall.

Abstract comedy needs that element of reality peeking out from the wings to make it all the more bizarre and hilarious.

Nonetheless, the Sheeps offered a fantastic combination of originality and wackiness that proved incredibly popular.

t takes a lot of balls to stand in front of an audience wearing a dragon costume. And it takes even more to hold a Chihuahua (in matching costume) under your arm. But Piff the Magic Dragon pulls it off superbly.

With hilariously deadpan, Jack Dee-esque delivery, Piff seamlessly blended rants about his cheating ex-wife (and attempts to woo several female audience members) with some astounding sleight of hand, building to a finale in which the Chihuahua (called Mr Piffles) levitated.

It’s a completely unique and original act, let down only by the fact that it ended too quickly.

The Cruicible 7/10

8/10

7/10

9/10

DEMOCRACY

frimston and rowett

cambridge footlights: sheeps

Piff the magic dragon

Jennie Whittington

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LISTINGS

Film Unit

Tickets: £2.50

GIAG:Wildlife Park

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ake a walk on the wildside at Yorkshire Wildlife Park. The park is home to a variety of wildlife including, lions, lemurs and tigers. If you’re hungry there is the Wild Cafe which serves a range of hot and cold food and has 120 seats so there will be plenty of room.

If you are feeling particularly generous you can even adopts an animal rannging from zebras to painted hunting dogs. For an extra £20 you can arrange a behind the scenes experience with your adopted animal but the experience will vary depending on what Wednesday 4 April outside animal you pick.

Bar One, £14.50; 10am til 3pm

All films are shown in the Students’ Union Auditorium.

Tickets cost £2.50 and can be bought from the Union Box Office or Union Shop.

Sunday April 27: The Artist; 7:30pm A splendid return to the wonders of silent cinema, The Artist has been drawing unanimous praise since its debut at Cannes. Sure to gather many awards over the coming months, The Artist is a humourous, romantic return to the roots of classic cinema.

George Valentin, a successful silent movie star, has his career thrown into question by the invention of ‘talkies’; meanwhile

an encounter with the charming dancer, Peppy Miller, offers a glimpse of something rather more exacting.

Saturday April 28: The Iron Lady; 7:30pm Biopic based on the life of Margaret Thatcher, the first female British prime minister.

Sixteen times Academy Award nominee Meryl Streep makes what is set to be the performance of her lifetime as the iron lady.

Margaret Thatcher struggles with old age and the death of her husband as she looks back over her life, her marriage, her politics and the price she paid for power. Also starring Jim Broadbent and Richard E. Grant.

Sunday April 29: A Dangerous Method; 7:30pm Dangerous Method centres around the intense relationship between an established psychologist, Sigmun Freud (Viggo Mortensen), his upand-coming protégé Carl Jung (Michael Fassbender), and Sabina Spielrein (Keira Knightley), the disturbed yet beautiful woman who sours the relationship between the two men. Despite being resigned to the footnotes of their research, Spielrein may have influenced the rise of psychoanalysis more than history lets us know... A must-see for any psychology student.

Fuse’s four for the fortnight Liberty Lies: Saturday March 31 @ Corporation; £5; 7:00pm

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bringing new influences the band has spent much more time honing their craft and pefecting their live perfromance. In their short time being a band, they have shared the stage with the likes of Skin, Black Spiders, Slaves to Gravity, Towers of London.

They have been lucky enough to play some great events including winning the 2010 Highway to Hell Competition in Glasgow for a slotion the Hard Rock Hell alongside acts like Airbourne, Saxon, UFO, Skid Tow and Hardcore Superstar.

Soundclash Presents The Monday Club: Saturday March 31 @ Plug; £5; 7:00pm

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he Monday Club, one of Sheffield’s most exciting musical prospects with their thumping rock/indie sound have won over many plaudits recently, and it is earning them a solid reputation. The four piece have been described by

Fuse.

Fuse.

Thursday Friday September March 29 2012 16 2011

fter a line-up change early in the year, the band have redefined everything about themselves. Their once Classic Rock tinged Blues has matured into a heavy yet melodic hard rock. With new members

The Sheffield Scenester magazine as having the “Catchiest indie tunes around”, and “An on– stage presence that oozes genuine ‘born to perform’ ease”.

The band, formed by school friends Paul Hawksworth and Darren

National Theatre Live: She Stoops to Conquer: Thursday March 29 @ Showroom; £7.95; 6:45pm

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ardcastle, a man of substance, looks forward to acquainting his daughter with his old pal’s son with a view to marriage.

But thanks to playboy Lumpkin, he’s mistaken by his prospective son-in-law Marlow for an innkeeper; his daughter for the local barmaid. The good news is, while Marlow can barely speak to a woman of quality, he’s a charmer with those of a different stamp.

And so, as Hardcastle’s indignation intensifies, Miss Hardcastle’s appreciation for her misguided suitor soars.

Misdemeanours multiply, love blossoms and mayhem ensues. One of the great, generous-hearted and ingenious comedies of the English language, She

Stoops to Conquer offers a celebration of chaos.

Bjorn Again and Stavros Flatley: Friday March 30 @ City Hall; £16.50; 7:00pm

Ullyet have been gigging in March 2010 following the recording demo titled ‘Champagne Talkers’ demo.

Throughout 2010 the group went on to entertain crowds as the headline act at several Sheffield venues.

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n evening at the theatre you’ll never forget. Join in all the fun with Rod Stephen’s production with special guests Stavros Fratley; the Greek dancing duo from Britains Got Talent. The show features

Abba’s hits and songs from Mama Mia together with legendary host Tony Blackburn. The show has achieved world wide cult status since it was first created and founded in 1988. It is designed as a rocked-up, light-hearted

satirical Abba spoof, and is acknowledged for single handedly initiating the Abba revival which brought about Abba Gold and Mama Mia. But you should go to see a fat Greek man dancing.