Fuse issue 71 by Forge Press

Fuse.

One Man Two Guvnors Worst games ever Best film soundtracks

Friday May 9 2014

short fuse. comments and rants on entertainment news. editorial.

The Big Friendly Giant gets a Spielberg spin

he problem with nice things, is that we insist on coming back to them. Rather than cherishing the memory of a nice thing, and then being inspired to create brand new nice things, we come back to existing nice things and remake them into a horrible thing. Case and point: Mike Myers’s The Cat in the Hat. Any sane human must have been horrified by Myers’ ghastly, obnoxious portrayal of Seuss’ delicately fiendish and slick feline. So naturally, the announcement that Spielberg will remake the glorious childhood relic, The BFG, comes with concerns. The book is wonderful, a fantastic example of childhood nonsense which widened many an imagination. It’s the kind of pleasantly silly, lovely British humour which is to be treated with care. Which it was, in the movie adaptation which already exists. The 1989 adaptation is a hugely

elcome to the penultimate issue of the year! This issue has been a whirlwind blend of old and new, as the old editors hand over to the new team and train them up for their inevitable takeover next issue *sniff*. Part of the hand over is passing on hub traditions that have become frequent this year, such as sharing hilarious videos on YouTube (20th Century Fox Flute - search for it now), having constant food envy, and watching film trailers, then passing judgement on them as if we’re gods. As well as welcoming all the new team, we’d like to say a huge thanks and fond farewell to the old team. Especially Millie and Kaz, Fuse editors extraordinaire, who have done a stellar job at running the section all year, and making sure we don’t simply watch and wave as section deadlines go flying by. Yes, that may have been massively gushy, but I think it’s necessary as these two have consistently gone above and beyond the Forge call. Kate Lovatt Phil Bayles

fond memory from my childhood; with songs of whizz-popping still whirling round my grown-up (sort of) brain, and admittedly, the images of giants lurking underneath childrens’ beds during the witching hour is still haunting when the lights turn off. It’s a fantastic film to this day. So, Spielberg, what do you want with it? We know already that it will be live action, which is difficult to imagine. One can assume it will go down a similar path to Dahl’s Matilda, which was made into something far different from the book, although still a fantastic movie. Its quintessential Britishness, that Roald Dahl writes so well, was lost in the highly Americanised Matilda movie, which is likely to be the outcome for Spielberg’s BFG. It certainly won’t feel like Dahl’s BFG, but I sincerely hope it will become a new nice thing in its own right. Kaz Scattergood

Is the world ready for a Wonder Woman film?

f course the world is ready for a Wonder Woman film. If Diana Prince caught the Hollywood suits in her Lasso of Truth and asked them why one didn’t exist already, they’d say, “Because we run a fundamentally sexist business and don’t see the value of a female presence in popular culture.” Comics and the films based on them have always prioritised male heroes over their female contemporar-

ies. The number of male-led superhero movies compared to female-led ones is hilariously unbalanced. While most women in comic book movies serve as a romantic foil for the hero, even the more well-rounded and notable characters are secondary to the male headliners like Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow in The Avengers or Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman in the upcoming Batman vs. Superman. Much of this stems from

the cosmic failure of former female-led films like Elektra or Catwoman putting Hollywood bigwigs off the idea of making more. Looking at the reverse, films like Green Lantern have bombed and it didn’t put anyone off making more male-centred movies. Something is fundamentally wrong when superheroines are risky business but Marvel will happily make Guardians of the Galaxy where Bradley Cooper is a raccoon and Vin Diesel is a

tree. Blockbusters like The Hunger Games make it perfectly clear that there is a market for movies led by complex, flawed, exemplary action-women, but the makers of superhero movies seem to think they’re still only selling to men when women make up half of their audience. Rhys Handley

This week, Annie Mullineux has done us an excellent soundtrack -esque cover. She’s pretty cool. Sat May 17, £25 Meet on Durham Road, 8am

Te-riff-ic loss of music therapy in prisons

veryone has some form of outlet, an activity through which they can let go of any negative feelings and fully lose themselves. For some, it can be mentally escaping into literature, or physically exhausting themselves through sport. This is surely never more necessary than in a prison. Yet changes to the treatment of prisoners that came into force in November included restricting prisoners’ access to books, and ban-

ning steel-strung guitars. Fair enough, prisoners are locked away for a reason. They’ve committed crimes and have to be punished, and a lack of privileges is a huge part of that. But when prisoners are working hard and saving up their prison wages to learn to play a new instrument, how can anyone deny them that? Prisoners who find enjoyment through exercise or watching television are still entitled to their

Alnwick

hobby, so why should those who seek solace in music be penalised? And if prisoners are deprived of an outlet which calms them down and gives them happiness, how can they be expected to be rehabilitated by the time of their release? Music is a uniting force and a means of personal expression or identity moulding; something which is vital in any environment. Mollie Carberry

Castle

his one’s for all the Harry Potter enthusiasts (or Potterheads) out there. The beautiful turrets of Alwick Castle, situated in Northumberland, are well-known for their time as Hogwarts Castle, when two of the Harry Potter movies were filmed on-location

there. The landmark has been home to the Duke of Northumberland for the last 700 years, and boasts ornate rooms you can tour. As it’s a long day, we recommend you bring a bottle of water.

Friday May 9 2014

q&a. Phil Bayles interviewed Hannah Robbins about the upcoming festival of musicals, Stagestruck! How did the idea for the Stagestruck! Festival come about? What do you think makes Sheffield the ideal city to host such an event? The festival is the brainchild of Dr Dominic McHugh in the Music Department. It was originally conceived as a film festival as part of our research on Musicals and then it got extended to include other events including an exhibition and an academic conference. Sheffield is a great place for film and the arts with societies like Film Unit and festivals as successful as Doc/Fest and Lyric. It’s really nice to have an event that’s run by staff and students together. You’re screening an impressive group of movies, from classics like Funny Girl to more recent films such as Dreamgirls and Les Misérables – how did you manage to narrow the list down? With a lot of difficulty. We had the specific criteria of film adaptations of pre-existing stage musicals. That helped take some classics like Singin’ in the Rain out of the running. We were also restricted by what we could arrange to show. Be-

yond that, we wanted to show a mix of favourites and films that we might not get to see on the big screen again. Personally, I can’t wait to see 1936’s Showboat with Paul Robeson. MGM remade the film in the 1950s and the early version is now less widely available. The festival follows the European premiere of a Broadway musical called Subways are for Sleeping, which closed with little fanfare in 1962. Who made the decision to revive it in Sheffield? Matthew Malone, an MA student in the department, oversaw the revival. He’s been the musical director for a number of universiy productions, and reviving, conducting and producing an edited score of Subways is the focus of his research Masters. It was an amazing event. I was lucky enough to sing in the chorus, and the energy and musicianship on show was absolutely brilliant. We even had a local celebrity, Howard from The Great British Bake Off, in the audience on opening night! From hit plays like The Book of Mormon to movies like Les Mis, it seems that musicals are going through a renaissance in the public eye. What do you think has happened to make musicals “cool” in recent years? I think people are becoming less afraid about different types of escapism at the moment and musicals are perfect escapism whether they are about “serious” subjects or about two princesses going on an adventure. Also, shows like Family

Guy, that make serious references to the golden age of Hollywood musicals, have helped to remind people what they are missing. Tell us about the more “academic” side of the Stagestruck! Festival. What can festivalgoers expect to learn about? There’s an academic conference which will be running from Wednesday May 14 to Friday May 16. Some of the world’s leading academics will be coming to discuss how shows have been adapted for the screen. They will also be introducing each of our films, so the audience will get an insight in to the films as academic materials as well as great pieces of entertainment. The rest of the city is getting involved too – what else can people find in Sheffield during the weekend’s proceedings? There’s going to be an exhibition up in the Workstation that will be free to all, which will map the adaptation process of stage show to movie. We’ve got some great vintage posters and stills from the films we are screening! There will also be a public book launch of Dr McHugh’s Loverly: The Life and Times of My Fair Lady and Prof. Jeffrey Magee’s Irving Berlin’s American Musical Theater, which are both about to be released in paperback. There will be a fascinating discussion between the two authors chaired by Prof. Geoffrey Block, who is rather like the godfather of academic writing on musical theatre.

There are plans to turn Stagestruck! into an annual event – what can we expect from the festival in years to come? Will you get student theatre groups like SuTCo or USLES involved more closely with the event? There are a lot of plans being considered at the moment, but it looks like we will be producing another musical in the autumn semester and some sort of conference, possibly with films in the spring. It would be great to get more students involved. And finally, an obvious question – if you had to choose one, which is your favourite musical of all time? It’s so hard to choose. I think Jerry Herman’s La Cage Aux Folles is probably my favourite stage show, although I adore almost everything by Cole Porter. My favourite original movie musical is classic Disney: Beauty and the Beast - who can resist kick-line crockery? And film adaptation of a musical… Probably Cabaret. Although I thought the film of The King And I was the best thing in the world when I was four. For more information go to www.stagestruckfestival. com

Tickets: £2.50

Available from the SU box office

Dallas Buyers Club: Sat May 10: 19:30

The Wolf of Wall Street: Sun May 11: 19:30

Only Lovers Left Alive: Sat May 17 19.30

Friday May 9 2014

Just the SUPERSTAR DANCE CLUB: #1 HITS!!!

Scavenger Hunt

ne of the most surreal games found in the ‘bargain bin’, Superstar Dance Club follows protagonist Suzy in her pursuit to be a famous dancer. The player button-mashes their way through some rather shiftylooking ‘clubs’, where if you do well, people shower you with money. The nauseously bright colours and the dialogue, presumably taken directly from Google Translate, make the game hilariously awful.

any people will look back on playing Rugrats: Search for Reptar for the PlayStation with fond memories. Unfortunately, I no longer can, as anything Rugrats related will forever be tainted by the abomination that was Rugrats: Scavenger Hunt. Imagine the most awful board game, shoddily turned into a video game, which then squats down and craps all over your favourite childhood TV programme. The aim of Scavenger Hunt is to roll a die and walk around the board and see how many cookies or toys you can collect before you die of boredom. It’s not offensively bad, it’s just a clumsy, messy money-grab that worked on many children, myself included. Never have I had a more sterile experience of gaming than when playing this. I struggle to believe that there was ever any attempt to make Scavenger Hunt enjoyable for the player. Too dull for children, too simple for adults; this game should have never been made, and is an embarrassment for everyone who had a part in making it. Reece Nunn

Not only this, but after an hour or so of playing, the game gets so hard, you have to grow extra fingers to keep up. Yet the game still possesses a comic charm that is perhaps only intensified by the ridiculous costumes, Suzy’s dangerously heavy-looking breasts and her smile that will haunt your dreams for the next 10 years. Samantha Fielding

Bubsy 3D

n a world of Marios, Crash Bandicoots, Spyros and Sonics (i.e. the 1990s) Accolade desperately pushed for Bubsy the bobcat to be its mascot. Bubsy 3D, a third person platformer, was the studio’s third instalment in a run of games that no one ever played. Though not

very well-known, Bubsy 3D is still recognised as one of the worst games of all time. To be fair, even at the age of five, it was clear the game was unfinished. The landscape is a haze of block colour, the graphics are an unconceivable mess of triangles and hexagons, the hit boxes on items are badly programmed and the movement controls are poorly implemented, forcing you to move your trajectory left and right before you advance or reverse. You could say it breaks the immersion but there’s no comprehensible story or likable characters to get immersed in. Bubsy’s self-referential one-liners make him immediately detestable and the opening cut scenes do little to explain what the hell is going on. For anyone who played it as a child, Bubsy 3D was a first encounter with poor optimisation and that may be the game’s most redeeming feature. Joanne Butcher

ven before the original was released, the Fable series was emblematic of Peter Molyneux’s habitual overestimation on what he could deliver. The first installment is generally excused for being a relatively safe RPG by having its tongue pressed firmly in its cheek. The sequel foreshadowed the fatal train wreck in the series with its focus on a star-studded cast over actual gameplay but it still managed to be enjoyable. Fable III - lacking any challenge, infested with inane sidequests and tedious mini-games - failed to be a game at all. While the series has always managed to obscure its bizarre morality system behind playful game mechanics that alter your appearance and status, Fable III took it one step too far. In order to fund the security of an entire nation, your charac-

ter is weighted with completely absurd political decisions which, when reinforced with such a self-righteous tone, come across as ignorant and embarrassing. Peter Molyneux clearly doesn’t know much about politics and, looking back on Fable III, he doesn’t seem to know much about making games either. And just for the record, it has the most obtrusive pause screen ever programmed. Just putting that out there. The worst. Joanne Butcher

Friday May 9 2014

Our Games editors, old and new, rant about some of the most notoriously bad, and highly disappointing games in history

ever was there a story of more woe, than this is of Sony and its Spyro. This PlayStation classic was a staple for any child growing up in the nineties so naturally the release of The Legend of Spyro: A New Beginning in 2006 was going to be a tricky battle of nostalgia and new generation graphics. A battle it sorely lost. Instead the developers, Sierra Entertainment, cheekily copy and pasted the same level over and over again, each time with a lazy pallet swap, to fill up a game void of any the original’s inherent charm. Gone were the host of playful characters like Hunter, Sergeant Byrd or Moneybags that the game had welcomed over the years.

Bewilderingly Elijah Wood, David Spade, voice-actor extraordinaire Cree Summers and Gary-fucking-Oldman were cast to justify this masterpiece in ruining a game franchise. Wikipedia tells us that A New Beginning marked the series’ first venture into “dark and complex plotlines”. Remember now that Spyro is a game universally celebrated for its skateboarding mini-game - it was never in need of a Christopher Nolan make-over. Spryo’s second reboot with the Skylander games fortunately rescued the series from its shameful course into the dark and complex and, for all our sakes, let’s hope it stays there.

avid Cage comes second only to Fable creator Peter Molyneux in his lofty ambitions falling terribly short. Nowhere is this more in evidence than the execrable Beyond: Two Souls. Across a ten hour narrative, confusing and boring in equal measure, a poor pacing jumps the player from five minute segments throwing snowballs at neighbourhood kids to two hours messing around

with a telepathic horse (much less fun than it sounds). Ellen Page’s character does almost nothing relevant or connected to anything else and wastes time, money and video game hardware. It would almost be funny if David Cage’s self-delusion wasn’t so sad. Robin Wilde

Joanne Butcher

SUPERMAN

he Nintendo 64 Superman is easily, and infamously, one of the worst games you will ever play. From the beginning it is impossible to get excited about any aspect of this ‘game’. Each ‘mission’ is painfully dull, giving you a quick instruction with little background or motivation, other than “complete to save your friends”. If that wasn’t bad enough, between practically every level you are forced to fly through a course of rings floating above the city, again your only motivation being “complete this maze to save your friends”. It doesn’t make any sense. It’s repetitive, pointless and offensively tedious. Not only are the levels in Superman boring, they’re also needlessly difficult. The game itself is probably not too difficult, but playing it certainly is. The terrible controls and frequent glitches only highlight how badly designed Superman is. On top of all that, it’s plain ugly; harsh draw distances, enemies that look like silhouettes and graphics that are unforgivable for a game made in 1999. It may be clichéd to say that Superman is one of the worst games of all time, but it’s a cliché for a reason. If you were ever unfortunate enough to own a copy of Superman, you have my deepest sympathies, and I hear there are support groups out there. Reece Nunn

lthough Nintendo’s game play mechanics are flawless, it seems that their concept for this spin-off is superbly, disappointingly dodgy. The fact that Peach is for once a standalone playable character is unfortunately not worth cheering over; even though the game is as fun as any other in the franchise, the enjoyment is tainted by the crippling realisation that Peach’s powers are actually triggered by her mood swings. And what do women do best? The narrative focuses more on Peach’s umbrella than it does her. Super Princess Peach had overwhelming potential to explore a relatively inaccessible character, and to increase their female audience. But once again we fall into a tacky, sexist gaze. Samantha Fielding

Friday May 9 2014

rom the pratfalls of slapstick to the punch lines of standup, everyone has their preferred style of comedy. For thousands of years the theatre has been home to the vast collection of comedic genres, but with the relocation of many comedies to radio, to television, and increasingly to online, the theatre’s reign over everything comic has been somewhat usurped. Going back a few years, even Aristotle recognised the variety within the genre, dividing comedy into the sub-genres of farce, romantic comedy and satire. From Ancient Greek comedy to Theatre of the Absurd, audiences have enjoyed and appreciated various types of comic drama throughout history. But, with this breadth within a genre, a 21st century writer or director must surely struggle to create something original. In 2011, the director of the National Theatre, Nicholas Hytner, announced the theatre “had a very grim repertoire - it was serious with no laughs”. With productions of Hamlet, Frankenstein and Warhorse beginning the year, the National Theatre audiences needed some comic relief. Hytner took it upon himself to find “something purely entertaining” to bring the theatre out of its current misery pit. This is when the director turned to the dusty shelves of comic history and his own childhood acting endeavours (he played the servant, Truffaldino, at school) and remembered an old Italian commedia dell’ arte play by Carlo Goldoni, The Servant of Two Masters. But a production in the now outmoded commedia dell’arte style would probably not venture to tickle the reluctant and demanding funny bones of 21st Century theatre goers. But as Hytner quite rightly concluded, “pratfalls and low physical comedy about the traditional comic subjects of greed, money and sex are global. They spring spontaneously from what the human race finds funny.” And so, the play was lifted out of its inhibiting Italian heritage and dropped into early 1960s Brighton. Richard Bean, the playwright whom we must thank for such a brilliant adaptation, went to work combining comic styles and traditions, “variety, end-of the pier farce, Ealing comedy and Carry On films”, to create a comedy like no other. All that was left was to rescue James Corden, who according to Hytner had “fallen out of favour and was lost in TV quiz show land” since The History Boys and Gavin and Stacey, and to arrange a quick anglicising of the title, and One Man, Two Guvnors was well under way. The plot itself is almost indescribable. One Man, Two Guvnors recounts the side-splitting

story of Francis Henshall. When Francis is fired from his skiffle band, he begins work as a minder to Roscoe Crabbe. Roscoe Crabbe is actually Rachel, who is posing as her own dead brother, Roscoe, who was actually killed by her own living boyfriend, Stanley Stubbers. Francis seizes the opportunity to also take a job with Stanley, but must keep his two guvnors apart to keep from being discovered. As well as this rather hectic plot, Hytner wanted a production that celebrated the comic genre by combining a mismatch of British comedy techniques. With an amalgamation of satire, songs and slapstick, the show brilliantly combines both verbal and physical comedy. Aware of his own shortfalls, Hynter turned to Cal McCrystal, the award winning clown and comedy director, to create the demanding physical routines that would eventually get James Corden and his costars down the gym. The balance between a carefully structured and scripted production and the spontaneity of standup is arguably what makes the show. The fourth wall is broken down as members of the audience are dragged on stage during a slapstick piece and spontaneity takes over. Another memorable scene is the one featuring Francis dishing lunch to his two masters in two separate rooms, not helped by a doddery old waiter, Alfie, the slapstick star of the production. When the show opened at the National Theatre in May 2011, it did more than provide the laughs that Hytner had intended for the summer season. One Man, Two Guvnors was a hit and went on to a national tour. It then transferred first to Adelphi Theatre and then to Theatre Royal Haymarket. But after an international tour through Australia, Hong Kong and New Zealand, One Man, Two Guvnors is coming to Sheffield. The question remains as to whether the new touring cast will maintain the hilarity of the original. With Barry and Honey Mitchell from EastEnders starring in main roles, and Gavin Spokes, who recently played Parsons in the Almeida/Headlong production of 1984 which is due to transfer to the West End, playing Francis, the new cast looks promising. Nicholas Hytner has said that “even though the production was originally created around James Corden, there have now been several brilliant casts who have made the play their own – and I can’t wait to see Gavin Spokes and the new touring company”. Sheffield can’t wait either.

Friday May 9 2014

Lizzie Hyland previews the National Theatre comic masterpiece before it opens its national tour at Sheffieldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lyceum

Friday May 9 2014

Music and Screen present:

Your favourite movie soundtracks THE MASTER

Paul Thomas Anderson’s first collaboration with Radiohead guitarist Jonny Greenwood wasn’t exactly badly received. Building on There Will Be Blood’s massive success – particularly Greenwood’s remarkable score – Anderson and Greenwood teamed up again for 2012’s The Master. Beginning on a lush C major chord, the opener ‘Overtones’ spirals into an open, complex chord and expresses in just a few seconds all the post-war beauty and vertigo the film lavishes across the screen for its 143 minutes. Contrasting all this horror and angst are several jazz standards providing a counterpoint of innocence, luciously sung by greats like Ella Fitzgerald, as well as a subtle, Prokofiev-like lyricism, betraying deeply held desires and frustrations. The Master’s soundtrack might not be overly famous or hummable, but its subtle power is immense. Martin Bottomley

STAR WARS In an era saturated with blockbusters, it’s difficult to imagine now what a brave film Star Wars was at the time – and its soundtrack was no different. The 1970s were populated with film soundtracks that were often rooted in popular music and were usually as gritty and downbeat as the films themselves. So a relentlessly uplifting “space opera” seemed completely out of place – but it worked alongside a film that was equally unique. The music of Star Wars plays a crucial role in anchoring the films huge galactic visions to something instantly familiar. John Williams’ use of motifs for different characters unifies the soundtrack, never working better than in the rousing hero theme first heard in ‘Binary Sunset’. The film saga would later give us more classic pieces in the form of ‘The Imperial March’ and ‘Duel of the Fates’, eventually delivering more classic tunes than almost any other series. Charles Mayer

THE BREAKFAST CLUB

Everything about The Breakfast Club screams 80s. The hair is 80s, the clothes are 80s and the soundtrack is so definitely, fantastically 80s. Sounding like it was recorded entirely on synth and electric drums, The Breakfast Club’s soundtrack is a testament to the decade in which it was made, a time capsule of 80s synth rock. A great soundtrack should complement the emotions being felt on screen, and there are few moments where this occurs as brilliantly as the final scene of The Breakfast Club. The mix of Simple Mind’s Jim Kerr proclaiming “Don’t you forget about me…” as Bender pumps his fist in the air is such a perfect summation of the film’s journey that it deserves to be classed as one of the most outstanding soundtracks of all time for that moment alone.

Sam Dunning

JACKIE BROWN We all know that Quentin Tarantino has an ear for iconic tunes, but what we didn’t know is he also has a sassy streak; Jackie Brown. Beginning and ending our journey with the emotive husk of Bobby Womack’s ‘Across 110th Street’. You expect no one less to grace our screens than Samuel L. Jackson & Robert De Niro. The air hostess’s tale of double crossing soon gets going with a chilled-out funk Brothers Johnson number ‘Strawberry Letter 23’, and yet all plans collapse at the mercy of her sharp eye. Girl power truly reaches its crux with Randy Crawford’s ‘Street Life’. Throw some Bill Withers/Johnny Cash into the mix and Tarantino’s cemented something very special. No one captures a blissful moment quite like Minnie Riperton; her piercing tone and dreamy lyrics leaves a rippling sweetness as the romance unfolds. In awe of Jackie’s character, we soon find we too want to sit in our cars blasting The Delfonic’s ‘Didn’t I Blow Your Mind This Time’. Clare Brown

Friday May 9 2014

THE GRADUATE

“Where have you gone, Joe Di Maggio/ A nation turns it’s lonely eyes to you”. One of the most precisely penned lyrics, from one of the best songs, from one of the most prolific song-writing partnerships, to feature on one of the most memorable coming of ages tales in modern culture. Yes, that’s right, how could we talk of the best film soundtracks without mentioning Simon and Garfunkel’s haunting tones on Mike Nichol’s 1967 film The Graduate? As if the talents of Dustin Hoffman (as the beautifully, awkwardly innocent Benjamin Braddock) and Anne Bancroft (playing the wickedly seductive Mrs Robinson) just weren’t enough, the songs that feature throughout the film have surely elevated this modern classic into the territory of a masterpiece. A better representation of the America portrayed in this story of a young man beginning an affair with a much older woman could simply not be found in any other artist, anywhere. So here’s to you, Mrs Robinson. Rachel Bell

THE BODYGUARD

The Bodyguard is a film so eclipsed by the success of its soundtrack it’s a little hard to believe. The film, a 1992 thriller starring Kevin Costner and Whitney Houston, was a success in its own right; it was the second highest grossing film of 1992. Think that’s impressive? Well, its music went on to become the biggest selling soundtrack of all time. The Bodyguard is a master class in using an established artist to record new songs that stand up not just in the context of the movie but as an album in its own right. Whitney Houston recorded six songs specifically for the film and had hit singles with three of them, ‘I’m Every Woman’ and ‘I Will Always Love You’ among them. The cultural impact of this soundtrack is so great that over twenty years later people are still using its most famous song as their first dance. It’s not unreasonable to say more people will know the soundtrack than the film, and if that’s not the mark of an outstandingly written soundtrack then I don’t know what is. Sam Dunning

FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF Bueller..? Bueller..? That’s right: although no official soundtrack was released for this classic, coming-of-age comedy from the king of Brat Pack John Hughes, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off sports some of finest collaborations of music, nostalgia, liberty and 80s teendom. From Sigue Sigue Sputnik to the Smiths, to Yello and General Public (with their oh-so-fitting ‘Taking the Day Off’), Hughes has the decade of New Romanticism and electro covered, and it is so perfect. Although best remembered for their hit single ‘Life in a Northern Town’, it is the Dream Academy’s achingly bittersweet ‘The Edge of Forever’, a gorgeous slice of dream pop, which elevates this film from simply moving to 80s epic. How can Ferris possibly be expected to handle school when there’s music like this? Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and listen once in a while, you could miss it. Graham Wardle

SUNSHINE

Sunshine is one the great underrated films of the 21st century; however, one aspect that has got the recognition it deserves is John Murray’s soundtrack. The film itself is a heady mix of sci-fi, action, horror and drama, and I can’t think of many soundtracks that better tie together such a diaspora of themes into such a perfect score. There’s something for everyone, really – starting with electronic influences, reflecting the space travel, but slowly growing into thumping classical as the tragedy of the situation grows, and the tension heightens. All this culminates in the centrepiece of the soundtrack Adagio in D Minor. This has become one of the most commonly used pieces of classical music in modern cinema, making its way into the trailers for The Adjustment Bureau, Star Trek Into Darkness and X-Men: Days of Future Past, as well as countless adverts and TV shows. Quite rightly too – it’s a tremendous piece of music, and rounds of the greatest film scores of all time. Matthew Smith

Friday May 9 2014

Fuse. games goat simulator PC 7/10

p until now, you may have thought that you fancied becoming a stoned surgeon (Surgeon Simulator 2013), a trauma scene cleaner (Viscera Cleanup Detail), or even a robotic vacuum cleaner (Robot Vacuum Simulator 2013). Unfortunately for you, Coffee Stain Studios saw through those socio-culturally constructed ambitions of yours and decided to dig up your darkest desires instead. On April Fools’ Day, the team of philosophers announced the fruits of their labour: the only realistic remedy to the hassle of the human condition is, in fact, to become a supergoat. Their groundbreaking hypothesis was even backed up by a not as groundbreaking sandbox, the goat simulator. Goat Simulator is a thirdperson simulator game that lets you experience precisely what you always unknowingly wanted. In an open world full of naïve

victims and intentional glitches, you will run around with your tongue fluttering through the air, play football with a basketball, float around a high security zero-gravity institution, commit suicide and resurrect at the press of a single button, and head-butt trucks as if nothing could stop you. Eventually though, one thing will. Goat or no goat, you will soon get bored of your life. Yearning to sustain their theory, the philosophers attempted to prolong your will to remain a goat in their universe. As a result, Goat Simulator is filled with numerous secret locations as well as hidden golden statues that let you modify your goat experience by acquiring a jet pack or becoming a robotic mutant. Additionally, the game’s faithful Steam-based sect of supporters has already generated quite an impressive amount of downloadable content and mods. Still, what first appeared as the ultimate revelation that demanded no more goals to be met, it was bound to come to an end in the most predictable way possible: you wonder whether, perhaps, the new Bear Simulator

would not have more to offer. Despite all this, Goat Simulator still affords the short-lived experience each human being deserves to have. So succumb to your secret dreams and go get it – after all, even if the game ends up not being quite on par with your standards, you will have the opportunity to find the acclaimed philosophers in their Coffee Stain Studios mansion, lick them to death, and at last bury yourself into the delightful pile of their dead bodies. Barbora Kerkova

CULT CORNER

fez

PC 9/10

or those uninitiated in the world of gaming, Fez may have passed you by. For those of you who consider yourselves gamers and have not at least heard of it, then shame on you. Fez is the story of Gomez, a little pixel creature with a head that really shouldn’t be supported by his body. He lives in a peaceful 2D village with other pixel people. But Gomez witnesses the breakup of a massive golden hexahedron which causes the very fabric of his world to begin tearing itself apart. Gomez, now bestowed with the titular fez, discovers that the world is actually made up of three dimensions and he must use these dimensions to find all 32 cube pieces, most of which have split into eight pieces, in order to save his world. Fez is a blissful experience with no enemies of any sort and failure seeming to have no presence in the game. Indeed, you can fall to your death or be absorbed by the black holes which show the disintegration of Gomez’s world, but you are immediately transported back to the last place you stood so there really isn’t much to stop you. While solving mildly confusing puzzles is a good feature of the game, and collecting the cubes is joyous, especially when Gomez literally jumps for joy whenever he gets a full cube, the real joy is passing through the many different worlds. The beautiful 80s, retro theme runs throughout the entire game but generated with modern graphics - so it doesn’t look like you can make out individual pixels or long loading screens.

Type:Rider PC

There are also loads of little extras for people to enjoy, like discovering treasure maps, collecting ‘anti-cubes’, finding keys for secret areas and more. Also, for all you Zelda fans, there is a little Navi-styled sprite called Dot who helps you through the game. Fez is a fun game for idle amusement which designer Phil Fish best described as a ‘stop and smell the flowers’ kind of game. While we may never see Fez 2 after Phil Fish’s much discussed departure from the gaming industry, we at least having this little gem to remember him by. Kieran Dean

id you know that cuneiform script is the earliest known form of writing or that Times New Roman was created for the Times by Stanley Morison? If neither of these facts interest you then it’s likely Type:Rider won’t either. Equal parts art project, video game and educational tool, Type:Rider takes you through the history of written language by exploring eight levels based on key fonts and typefaces in history. Type:Rider is a platformer where you play as two full stops looking for a third to make an ellipsis. Levels are separated into books detailing each key font/typeface, with each new book providing a different type of physics puzzle or environmental danger to traverse. Collectables come in the shape of the letters of the alphabet and the mysterious ampersand. The real collectables come in the form of asterisks, the collection of which reveals a new page within the book, and each

page details key event in a particular font’s timeline. The level design is wonderful whether you’re avoiding the spinning rollers of the printing press, jumping across art deco platforms to off-beat jazz or avoiding an avalanche of Os in the Swiss Alps. French designer Cosmografik does an exceptional job of making the world of typography seem as entertaining and cool as he obviously thinks it is. What makes the levels even more enjoyable is the exceptional music and may be the game’s high point. However, Type:Rider does have its failings. Although the levels do provide some unique moments, their sequence quickly becomes formulaic. The lack of lives means the game is rarely challenging and it’s relatively short, containing only 32 levels. Controls are also a little clunky, you control whichever full stop is at the front, but this often results in a lot of aimless spinning in the air. Overall, if you’re looking for an experience rather than a challenge then Type:Rider might interest you, but those looking for a great platformer should look elsewhere. Sam Dunning

Friday May 9 2014

Fuse. arts West side story

University Drama Studio 9/10

rom the drain-pipe trousers and full-skirts to the look of love in the eyes of our protagonists, SUPAS offers a startlingly authentic production of West Side Story that has the potential to bring a tear to even the glassiest of eyes. Famously based on Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, West Side Story follows the exploits of two rival gangs, the Sharks and the Jets, the former fighting for equal rights as Puerto Ricans living in America, and the latter fighting for their perceived loss of territory on the streets of New York. Complicating matters beautifully are two young teenagers in love, Tony (Ryan Bray) and Maria (Amy Joyce), who belong to separate factions but long to unite so they can be together and end the violence between those they love. It’s often as implausible and clichéd as its source material, and

yet, SUPAS presents it completely unabashedly, drawing the audience into the romantic world of the star-crossed lovers without ever making it seem as if it’s a joke. It certainly helps that the two leads are completely compelling in their roles. Bray’s vocals have the power to make the audience turn into puddles in their seats and Joyce is one of the best Maria’s I’ve ever seen, portraying a character who has the potential to be the drippiest there is, and adding a complexity to her that a weaker actress would surely have failed to achieve. Furthermore, it is a testament to the chemistry between Bray and Joyce that their scenes together are enough to cause goosepimples, particularly in ‘Tonight’ when the audience watches the two lovers sing a nail-bitingly romantic duet against a backdrop of LED stars. It is truly a joy to watch. Fortunately, the supporting cast are equally of note. Naomi Bailey as Anita is an especially inspired casting, as she plays the role with

fire and warmth. An exquisite dancer, Bailey shines in all of her scenes and it is her final scene that is the most harrowing in the entire play. Set upon by a gang of Jets as she tries to send a message to Tony from Maria, her screams ring throughout the theatre in a way that immediately reduces the audience to tears. It’s horrible to watch and it’s the scene that remains with you long after you have left the theatre. It is clear in this production that the gang warfare of the Sharks and the Jets isn’t just toughguy finger-snapping. The danger is very real. The show isn’t perfect; it is littered with some dodgy accents and the odd bum note from the band, and some of the bigger, more dancey set-pieces are hampered somewhat by the size of the stage, but none of these problems overwhelm an otherwise brilliant performance. The band is, for the most part, very good and the few dodgy accents pale into insignificance given the hilarious perfection of Louis Merry’s German accent in ‘Gee Officer

Krupke’. Overall, the cast and crew should be immensely proud of themselves. This production of West Side Story is nothing short of wonderful.

The SEAGULL

who are both absorbed by this narcissistic writer who merely regards them both as objects of inspiration for his work. Terribly depressing stuff, which is why it seemed such a strange choice for a self-professed clownish troupe. This particular production was marketed as clown-like, funny, and heavy in audience participation, and these three things are what made it a weak performance. Only one of the four actors seemed invested in trying to make it funny, by cheaply dropping in names of contemporary culture. The actress playing Nina, Lorna Shaw, has obvious talent and showed off her range through the varied characters she played, but ruined this hard work by constantly trying to talk at the audience; any attempts to directly interact with the crowd were more intrusive than inclusive. I don’t aim to be unnecessarily critical - there were also many qualities to commend. Kyriakos Haritos, who plays Konstantin, never missed a beat, and created sincere chemistry with the others. When she

Theatre Workshop 5/10

he first thing I saw when I walked in to find my seat for the Shifting Sands production of Chekhov’s The Seagull was a large grubby bedsheet tied to two large posts. Props in Russian dramas are typically designed to look this way, and at first it seemed amateurish, but it turned out to be the most effective aspect of the production. The actors retreated behind it for their copious costume changes and bizarre montage chase scenes and it provided refreshing visuals during scene transitions, instead of seeing characters run off to the side of the stage to escape the viewer’s gaze. Chekhov’s play is full of beautifully nuanced characters inhabiting a fractured world from which little hope can be extracted. It focuses on a young writer, Konstantin, who is tormented by his inability to produce work of value. The other two protagonists are a love interest by the name of Nina, and his mother,

BOOK CORNER SNUff

Chuck Palahniuk 6/10

huck Palahniuk continues his trend of writing about being a man in the 21st Century with 2008’s Snuff. A lot of Palahniuk’s work has dealt with being a modern man. Fight Club was about masculinity, Choke about sexual addiction and the relationship men have with their mothers. In a way Snuff is an extension of both of these themes, because it looks at the effects por-

nography has had on three different men all waiting to take part in a world record porn filming, as well as its effect on world history. The novel is written from the perspective of Mr 600, Mr 72, Mr 137 and Sheila, the personal assistant of Cassie Wright, porn superstar. These different narratives allow for pornography to be discussed from a variety of perspectives, specifically of a virgin, a porn ‘superfan’, and an old legend in the business. The varied narratives also allow for the spread of rumours about why this world record event is happening, and the identity of the accidental baby that claimed Cassie

Wright’s career. Although how sexworkers deal with pregnancy and children is an intriguing concept for a book, the novel never really capitalises on this plotline. The book is primarily about a lot of men waiting in one room, which may result in interesting dialogue, but the story never builds towards a fulfilling climax. While surprise connections between characters do lead to interesting parts along the way, when the ending does come it feels disappointing and forced. While definitely an interesting and enjoyable read, this look into society’s relationship with por-

Laura Stanley

nography is not Palahniuk’s finest hour. Fans of Palahniuk will find the factoids about pornography intertwined with his usual wit and style enjoyable, but newcomers to his writing may be best off trying one of the more well-realised of his books. Sam Dunning More reviews online Read more reviews online at Forge Today

DOT COM

could be dragged into the play, instead of talking with the audience, Lorna Shaw was impressive, and Alison Darling presented sardonic indifference toward her son in a way I thought only my mother could. Though the set was cluttered with props that often obstructed the audience’s view, and nearly all humorous attempts fell on deaf ears, the play was not bad overall. I got the impression that most of the actors, one of whom won awards at the Fringe, were wasted on this company. When all pretences of comedy were dropped the performances were strong and sufficiently moving. The most impressive thing about this production, however, was that they succeeded in finding a soft toy seagull. Christopher Hedges

Friday May 9 2014

Fuse. music Pixies

Indie Cindy 6/10

urfer Rosa (1988) and Doolittle (1989) captured the characteristic primal shrieks of Black Francis, the guitar swells of Joey Santiago and driving bass lines of Kim Deal at Pixies’ unstoppable peak, with each track held up by classic pop-structures in a way that would influence the likes of Nirvana, Weezer, Radiohead and countless others. Indie Cindy, their first album since the release of the patchy Trompe le Monde in 1991, brings together the three EPs the band have released since September 2013 into a volume that excites as often as it forays into the forgettable. Much of the dynamic which comprised the Pixies’ classic sound is very much alive in the record. The dual note guitar melody of ‘Green and Blues’, Francis’ nightmarish visions of ‘Silver Snail’ (“Ain’t no place for to hide/At an orgy of grooms and brides/At the scene of the suicides”) and the shimmering guitar pop of album closer ‘Jaime Bravo’ positions their sound firmly within classic Pixies territory. The metal riffing of opener ‘What Goes Boom’

and the electronic infused ‘Bagboy’ refreshes their sound without diverting too far from the band’s familiar craft. Although Indie Cindy threatens to thrill, it too often meanders into aimlessness, with the album’s amalgamation of separately released EPs manifesting itself into a distinct lack of cohesion. The absence of Kim Deal, who left the band last year, also leaves a conspicuous gap in the Pixies’ sound which the imitation of her vocals on ‘Bagboy’ does little to satiate. If taken in its own right Indie Cindy is solid enough, though it’s doubtful that will satisfy those who have waited 23 years for a new Pixies record. Andrew Parkinson

Rodrigo y gabriela

tremolo, and delicately balanced harmonics. However, we cannot escape the fact that, despite the pair’s best attempts, unfortunately there is simply too much repetition and not enough of the burning originality that we love them for. It then seems a slight shame that Rodrigo y Gabriela, who started off playing heavy rock and metal and won our hearts with their unique fusion of guitar styles, give us a pretty standard flamenco album. That said, it is sure to please the guitar traditionalists out there, and there is some solid tunes - ‘The Russian Messenger’ being the truest to their previous flamboyancy. This employs some pretty impressive scalic runs and once again it's obvious just how much time this pair must have dedicated to learning their trade. Thus, 9 Dead Alive proves a pleasant enough affair, but it's highly unlikely to receive the same acclaim as the duo's other acoustic journeys.

9 Dead Alive 5/10

he Mexican guitar maestros are back, with their first album since 2009's 11:11. The duo, who earnt their enduring popularity through their dazzling virtuosity and feverish intensity, return with 9 Dead Alive. Conceptual in structure, this is nine musical tributes to the guitarists' heroes of literature, human rights, history and philosophy, including Eleanor of Acquitaine, Fyodor Dostoyevsky and Antonio de Torres Jurado. Although they have lost none of their masterful command of the guitar here, still retaining the furious energy they are famed for, this is a collection that certainly strips the instrument back to its basic forms. It seems that simplicity is key here, making use of more flamenco inspired structures and spirited, sturdy rhythms. It certainly does make for delightful and easy listening, perhaps less intense than any of their previous material, employing the standard techniques that one might expect to find on such a Spanish inspired album – rasquedo,

Rachel Bell

ThUMPERS Galore 5/10

o step into the world of Thumpers, the London duo made up of Marcus Pepperell and John Hamson JR., is like stepping straight into a scene in Bedknobs and Broomsticks, a land where reality and fiction collide and you are taken on a journey where nothing is quite what it seems. “Talk to me in the forest”, Pepperell sings, “run into the river at night’. Sometimes it sounds like Thumpers are on the edge of bursting out into a full scale musical, exploding with every kind of instrument and brimming with layers and layers of harmonised vocals. Some songs are brilliant and full of bouncy hooks which stick to you like glue. ‘Galore’ the song the album is named after, is unsurprisingly one of their best. ‘Dancing’s Done’, ‘Sound of Screams’ and ‘Unkinder’ also bring on a nostalgic glow of carefree afternoons in the sun and sets the

rest of the album up for similar greatness. But then the album progresses and you feel more and more reluctant to forgive the weak songs on the album because, in truth, they make up half of it. Thumpers just fail to connect or empathise. Galore should have been an echo of the past and childlike themes, but, instead, it is more of a reflection – it’s essentially youthful, playful pop that hasn’t quite grown-up and flown from the nest. Instead, it still lives at home, playing on Halo 3 while eating Mum’s cooking. The right intentions are all there but Thumpers haven’t managed to distinguish between sounding playful and sounding fit for the playground. Jessica Dawson

UPCOMING: LITTLE DRAGON: NABUMA RUBBERBAND / CHROMEO: WHITE WOMEN / THE BLACK KEYS: TURN BLUE

Friday September 9 2014

Fuse. music Ezra furman

Wednesday April 30 The Harley

Ezra Furman:Josie Kirk

ondon trio Happyness round off the support at tonight’s gig. A lovely dose of 90s grunge and indie pop, they end their set saying; “We have a new song, it’s about putting people in fridges.” The crowd respond well to these one liners, and the band create an ideal setting for the main event. Although relatively unknown in the UK, Ezra Furman has been on the scene since 2006, with his work highly regarded by critics. It appears he has picked up a loyal following over the years. A few excitable groups in the crowd shout his name lovingly during sound check, and a dedicated fan at the front proudly tells everyone “we are in the presence of greatness!” How right he is. Ezra walks on awkwardly, giggling and thanking everyone in a bedazzled and bizarre way that can only be compared to Johnny Depp’s portrayal of Willy Wonka. The rest of the band (his ‘Boy-Friends’) follow him on, and they thrash out their first track. The music is a crazy blend of everything. Punk rock, 50s rock & roll, country, folk, big band jazz - it’s all in the mix. “Sometimes, I feel so angry and self destructive,

Rae morris

The Marmozets

Monday April 28 The Leadmill

t is a rare and special experience to listen to an artist whose vocals are so powerful and captivating that they immediately silence an entire room of chattering, especially when said vocals come from a 19-year-old shy girl from Blackpool. With a voice as huge as her hair, Rae Morris silenced the entire crowd that had gathered to watch her perform at the Leadmill within the first few words of her opening number ‘Grow’, which showed off her haunting vocals perfectly. Since appearing on the scene last year, Rae has become a force to be reckoned with, already having toured with the likes of Tom Odell, Noah and the Whale and Bombay Bicycle Club. The contrast of her shy, slightly nervous charm and awkward stage banter with her incredible smoky vocals make Rae an endearing performer and, although she stayed sat behind her trusty keyboard for the entire show, she possessed a massive stage presence and the ability to transfix

Rae Morris:Youtube/Luke Eccleston

and that feeling made me join a band...” he explains before performing the fast-paced ‘I Wanna Destroy Myself.’ The sound the band manage to achieve is huge. Electric guitar compliments the often acoustic, folk sounding jangles of Ezra’s guitar. Tim Sandusky’s massive saxophone solos are comparable to Bruce Springsteen’s ‘Born to Run’, and along with Ezra’s husky, growling vocals the sound is full and refreshing. Of course the climax is the band’s performance of ‘My Zero’ - one of the best songs to be released recently. The crowd sing along word perfect, and there are hints that this band could one day perform on a much bigger scale. After a triumphant encore, Ezra salutes the crowd graciously as he and the Boy-Friends exit the stage. It would be difficult to find a more charismatic and innovative band around at the moment. Their future is sure to be a big one.

Monday April 28 Plug an entire room. Overall, the entire set was smooth and well rounded, with Rae moving effortlessly through soul-bearing songs with devastating harmonies such as ‘Way Back When’ and ‘The Oldest of New’, into a cooler, edgier sound with the exciting upcoming single ‘Do You Even Know’. This track in particular was brilliant live with its pounding drums and electric riffs and it was easy to lose yourself in the layers of gorgeous summery music. The beautiful and simple arrangements of the tracks complimented a, quite frankly, faultless voice. This, coupled with Rae’s integrity will ensure she continues to expand her already dedicated fan base, and the Northern lass is sure to grow into something very special. Rebecca Stubbs

lthough the crowd are excited to see what the evening has in store, the turn out is disappointing (fewer than 50 people), despite Marmozets recent popularity and success, which only points to the venue not promoting the night as well as they should. Local band Seconds Apart open tonight, and as they kick off its clear that they know their stuff. They’re talented young musicians reminiscent of Thrice and A Day to Remember. It’s a shame then that the crowd are so docile, silently bobbing heads, no matter how much the frontman tries to engage them. This could have been the venue’s atmosphere rather than any fault of the bands as they play a solid set. Next up, Boy Jumps Ship play a

Josie Kirk

fairly derivative set and though enthusiastic with a big sound, it only adds up to what could be a You Me At Six cover band. It’s after this set that an air of excitement returns. As the band walk on, the audience is visibly more enthralled than it has been all evening. There is an instant aggression and attitude that comes through all the band’s performances. They are energetic and seemingly uncaring about their own or the audiences safety as guitars are swung around into the crowd. Stand out songs ‘Good Days’, ‘Move Shake Hide’ and ‘Why Do You Hate Me’ get the crowd going but the highlight of the performance is closer ‘Vibe Tech’. Marmozets move into the mosh pit, drum kit and blaze through the song, whipping the crowd into a fury. It’s an outstanding performance for a faultless set and I look forward to their debut album this year. Adam Casey

The Marmozets:Stuart Glossop

UPCOMING: COURTNEY BARNETT: HARLEY MAY 17TH / AUGUSTINES:PLUG MAY 10TH/ FOXES: LEADMILL MAY 23RD

Friday May 9 2014

Fuse. screen pompeii

Dir: Paul W. S. Anderson 4/10

ometimes, truth is stranger than fiction. A damaged tomb wall in the Italian ruins of Pompeii collapsed on the opening weekend of this film because the funds for reparations are drying up. If that’s not a metaphor for this movie, I don’t know what is. Based on the catastrophic eruption of Mount Vesuvius in AD79, the storyline focuses on the forbidden romance between lady-of-the-villa Cassia (Emily Browning) and slave gladia-

tor/sex god Milo (Kit Harington)amidst, you know, a huge volcano exploding. But there’s a problem for the couple. Kiefer Sutherland is the bad-guy Roman Senator who demands Cassia’s hand in marriage. Sutherland is the biggest disappointment of this film. Imagine Jack Bauer hamming it up in a drawling British accent. He’s by far the most established actor in the cast, and yet it’s like he’s performing in a panto. Seeing as the plot leaves a lot to be desired, Anderson (of Resident Evil fame) blew the £60

million budget on 3D effects to try and draw the crowds, which is a shocker, because it seems so lowbudget. It doesn’t feel like the 3D effects enhance the film, more that the effects are its whole purpose. Sometimes, they are genuinely brilliant: Anderson combines real footage of the Pompeii ruins with one particularly spectacular ash explosion. Sometimes they are totally distracting: fireballs shoot like alien lasers over the town. While we’re talking about effects: the sound engineers for this film deserve to be thrown into the lava. Again, effects are meant to enhance, not distract from the film - this is not the case in Pompeii.

A cup being gently placed on a stone wall shouldn’t make the audience jump out of their skin: this is not a thriller movie. It is, however, an entertaining film. There isn’t much of a plot, but if you’re easily impressed by special effects, chariot chases and bloody fights (so a Game of Thrones fan) then this is a good way to wile away a couple of hours. It’s flashy, it’s trashy and there’s a good enough action:muscle ratio to keep both sexes amused. The swords-and-sandals action is hot, hot, hot, but overall, this movie blows.

line-up is Alfie Allen, known in equal measure as Game of Thrones’ Theon Greyjoy. Rigby’s role is made clear as soon as the gang land in Florida with lots of opportunistic bikini shots. Distracting their male target audience from the flimsy narrative is perhaps the best idea after all. Plastic is weakly directed and wavers awkwardly on the brink of several different genres, preventing it from slotting comfortably into

any. Its main downfall is an obvious desperation to mesh crime with comedy (imagine Kidulthood meets The Hangover). It doesn’t work. Too much time and effort goes into scraping cheap laughs, rather than placing more emphasis on the quality of the acting, or a plotline that, in the right hands, could have turned out better. Keri Trigg

Rachel-Louise Gerrish

plastic

Dir: Julian Gilbey 4/10

bove all else, Plastic is a classic example of the ‘squeeze everything into the trailer’ technique often adopted by blockbusters that don’t hack it. It sets a higher level of expectation that may leave audiences disappointed. Plastic follows a naïve cluster of youngsters casually committing credit card fraud. This is going well until they unwittingly target crime boss Marcel (Thomas Kretschmann)

and soon discover they’re not quite ready to play with the big boys. The £2 million they need to raise in order for Marcel to spare them provides the perfect excuse for a holiday, and the group jet off to Miami to carry out a high-stakes diamond heist, while bantering all the way. As good as the cast may look together, their acting leaves a lot to be desired. With only one household name, Will Poulter, adorning

the credits, his co-stars’ performances fail miserably to breathe life into their characters. Emma Rigby’s years in Hollyoaks at least prepare her for her Plastic role as the film, too, is trying far too hard to appeal to a young audience. Rigby is not the only cast member to have been plucked from the small screen; fellow fraudsters Sebastian de Souza and Ed Speleers are fresh from Skins and Downton Abbey respectively. Completing the

SMALL SCREEN

invested in the breaking of chains. In King’s Landing, Jaime (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) can only watch with dismay as Cersei (Lena Headey) slips further away from him into anger and grief - although he unfortunately suffers no ramifications for that rape scene last week - Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) rots helplessly in the dungeons and Brienne (Gwendoline Christie) heads off on a near-impossible quest to find Sansa (Sophie Turner). Sailing to the Vale, Sansa begins to show her developing guile and savvy as she deduces that Littlefinger (Aidan Gillen) had a hand in Joffrey’s poisoning. Meanwhile, his accomplice in the capital, Olenna (Diana Rigg) tutors her granddaughter Margaery on managing her king now that she is betrothed to Joffrey’s hapless brother, Tommen (Dean-Charles Chapman). On the Wall, Jon Snow (Kit Harington) rallies a force of rangers to

deal with the mutineers at Craster’s Keep. In his troop is the slippery Locke (Noah Taylor), who is actually Roose Bolton’s plant. As Jon heads to Craster’s Keep to sort out the mutineers, led by the revolting Karl (Burn Gorman), so does Bran (Isaac HempsteadWright) as he and his friends are taken captive by the deserters. The stakes are raised as two Starks are set on a collision course for the first time since season one. After a satisfying episode, ‘Oathkeeper’ throws a final curveball in its closing scene as one of Craster’s bastard sons is taken far north by a grotesque White Walker, where the baby is transformed into an undead soldier. From here on, there really is no telling what might happen.

Game of thrones: season 4, episode 4 Dir: Michelle MacLaren 7/10

series as vast and complex as Game of Thrones cannot hope to lean on in-yourface epic moments. Sometimes, pit stops need to be made. ‘Oathkeeper’ is not a stand-out installment like the earlier entries of this season, but it carries out its job admirably without forgetting to keep its audience on its toes. First, Daenerys’s (Emilia Clarke) Unsullied general Grey Worm (Jacob Anderson) takes centre-stage in Meereen as he struggles to learn English and take over the city. Light is shed on the fact that Daenerys’s mission of liberation is not just hers; characters like Grey Worm and Missandei are equally

Rhys Handley You can follow Rhys’s Game of Thrones blog at forgetoday.com

Friday May 9 2014

Transcendence Dir: Wally Pfister 3/10

t’s a trap! The all-star cast of Transcendence lures you in, only to leave you in a dark room for two hours wondering why you’re being bored to death. Johnny Depp plays Dr Will Caster in this sci-fi flop that focuses on whether a machine can ever have consciousness. Depp is shot with a radioactive bullet by an extreme anti-technology terrorist group who believe artificial intelligence is a sin against mankind. Depp then proceeds to upload his “self” onto a computer and we are faced with the question of whether it is really him inside the machine or a computer programme that just has access to his memories. “Can you prove you’re selfaware?” is a question asked repeatedly throughout the film and one we are provoked into realising will never have a satisfactory answer. There is nothing wrong with the concept behind the film of a mind being transferred onto a machine – it’s actually a very interesting and original idea. It is the direction the film is taken in that lets it down and the fact that such a good idea

is wasted due to poor execution. It should have either been a crazy, dystopian epic or a thoughtful, philosophical film that focused on the ethics of the situation and looked deeper into what it is to be human. Transcendence tries to be both yet achieves neither. There are numerous scenes that tease you with conflict but they are short-lived and there’s no crescendo towards the end of the film, leaving the audience feeling unsatisfied and unmoved. There’s a hint of “deep” thought in the movie but it is not given enough time to really develop into something of substance. Character wise, there is a glaring lack of emotion between any of them and Depp’s performance is so hollow and half-hearted you start to wonder if someone downloaded his charisma and replaced it with a shoe. Morgan Freeman randomly narrates a scene at one point and it’s laughable because not only is it a cliché, it sums up perfectly what the film is doing - trying way too hard. It’s as if they’ve written an equation on what normally makes a film good (original idea + Johnny Depp + Morgan Freeman narrating) but screwed up the maths somewhere. Other problems include Kate Mara’s awful blonde wig. It’s so bad it’s distracting and deserves

its own review because it is one of the most intriguing parts of the film. They clearly had a big budget – so why use such a crappy wig? She could be saying anything and it wouldn’t really matter because all you can hear is your mind screaming “wig!” every time she’s on screen. Perhaps the main reason the film fails to transcend is because it is rated a 12A. When I noticed a 6 year old boy enter the cinema, I had a feeling I wasn’t going to get the violence or deep philosophical insight I’d hoped for. The kid kept getting up and leaving and now I wish I’d done the same. Kudos small boy, kudos. Katherine Hockley

More reviews online Read more reviews online at Forge Today

DOT COM

Brick Mansions

Dir: Camille Delamarre 2/10

CULT CORNER

slacker

Dir: Richard Linklater

strikingly original piece of work, Slacker eschews any kind of conventional narrative in favour of a series of vignettes that flow lazily into one another, dipping into the ragged, beguiling world of Austin, Texas. Director Richard Linklater’s film is not interested in plot or character development; it doesn’t build suspense or reel its audience in with a clever hook and pay-off. Instead, we’re offered glimpses into the lives of a class of people at the margins of society – deadbeats, wasters and delusional old anarchists. These are people for whom the American Dream is a cheap joke invented to sell insurance. The opening scene shows Linklater himself, as a young wayfarer, getting a taxi from a bus station on the edge of town. During his journey into Austin, we hear the young man soliloquising about dreams and alternative realities, to which the driver pays no attention.

He recalls a dream in which he had dinner with Tolstoy and imagines the beautiful woman he might have met if he’d stayed at the bus station. A minute or two passes and the camera retreats up the street, following a young man into his apartment. The tone is set. What keeps Slacker interesting is movement and rhythm. The camera and the characters drift and roll around the city, strolling down pavements, swinging off into a cafe or a house, one conversation fading out as another fades in, one character receding into the distance as another wanders into view. Linklater’s knack for writing compelling, naturalistic dialogue is probably his greatest gift. He paints believable characters who are jaded and apathetic, but also intelligent, imaginative and eccentric. Slacker is an enchanting, affectionate tapestry of conversations, gently satirising the curious inhabitants of a unique city. By turns funny, wistful and surreal, Slacker is a great way to spend 100 minutes. Mark Wood

ome films are so bad, they’re good. This is not one of them. The acting, the dialogue, the stock characters; it’s all pretty laughable. Having said that, Brick Mansions does have a strange pull, much like a burning train crash — it’s awful but you just can’t look away. In the future, Detroit’s fictional Brick Mansions district is ruled by drug lord Tremaine Alexander (RZA). Long ago, the government of Detroit made a completely rational decision and built a massive wall around it in order to contain crime. When Tremaine acquires a bomb, undercover cop Damien Collier (Paul Walker) is sent in to disarm it. Reluctantly, he teams up with Lino (David Belle), a vigilante with parkour skills. This remake of French film District 13 is a love letter to the freerunning movement that Belle created. The action scenes are entertaining and it’s hard not to admire Belle’s acrobatic ability. Despite that, the parkour quickly becomes tiresome: some sections are just awkward and unnecessary. The racial politics is also hard to ignore. While those on top are rich white men, Brick Mansions is made of ethnic minorities. Their plight is supposed to echo that of real life Detroit (as District 13 did for Paris’ banlieues), but this social commen-

tary is incredibly sloppy and bordering on offensive. Women fare no better. The film includes a fight between the only two female characters, Lino’s exgirlfriend Lola sporting a tiny skirt, and Tremaine’s crony who is scantily clad in a leather bondage outfit. Their fight scene is like something out of a teenage boy’s fantasy. The film is made up of dreadful caricatures — the villainous businessmen, the damsel in distress. The only redeeming feature is the overused but reliable buddy cop routine between Collier and Lino, to which Walker and Belle play with familiarity and ease. It’s both fitting and sad that this is one of Paul Walker’s final films. Brick Mansions is in the same vein as most of the films he’s known for,

but it shouldn’t be. You don’t have to use any part of your brain to comprehend this film, which makes watching Brick Mansions a great drinking game, but otherwise please don’t pay to watch this. It won’t be worth it. Carmen Hoang

FORGE’S DESERT ISLAND Every fortnight, we ask a couple of our editors to pick their Fuse-esque desert island necessities. This issue we ask our new editors which items they couldn’t survive without

- A Gr e r e h T t u dy O

eat

Anybo e r e h T s I MUSIC: Big World 048 2 en : e r S E G M n h o GA J tars S r u O n i t l Fau ARTS: The nder a e l O e t i h W SCREEN: ditor

my: E Elsa Vullia

MUSIC

Tom S c

hneide

r: Dep

uty ed

itor

: Blond e on Blo GAMES nde - B : GTA: ob Dyl Vice Ci an ty ARTS: Things F all Apa SCREEN rt - Chi nua Ac : A Clo hebe ckwork Orange