Fuse Issue 80

Fuse.

Interview with the Cribs Online Streaming and Charity Sex in movies: art or porn?

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Friday March 6 2015

Short Fuse.

Comments and rants on entertainment news.

It’s not the length of your game that counts; it’s what you do with it.

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hen Ready at Dawn Studios accompanied the grand unveiling of the PlayStation 4 with The Order: 1886, a single-player shooter that saw steam-punkified Knights of the Round Table taking on werewolves, two thoughts immediately entered my head.

Firstly, this reminds me an awful lot of Hugh Jackman prancing about with Dracula in Van Helsing, and secondly, I hope it’s a lot better than Hugh Jackman prancing about with Dracula in Van Helsing.

Fortunately, unlike Wolverine vs Frankenstein, the visuals and atmosphere seemed incredibly accomplished from the start and I waited, with high expectations, for the rest of the game to follow suit. Two years later and critics are tearing into what is being labelled a dull, five-hour movie with the occasional button prompt.

IGN called it “shallow, slow, and generic” while videogamer.com mused ‘The Order is like you’re allowed to gaze at the Mona Lisa, as long as you’re drinking piss’.

Many have argued in its favour, some insisting that those finishing it quickly were rushing through it, others that five hours is enough and longer is not always better. In 2014 Dana Jan confirmed that the team’s priority was the story rather than the gameplay, an error that should have been clear when Jan realised he was creating a game, not a period drama.

That’s not to say I’m against such a statement, but when you create a game that allows players to spend most of their time shooting at peo-

ple, you’d better make the shooting damn good fun.

If you’re developing a story-focused shooter in which most of the game is spent simply pressing X to advance the plot or R2 to get to the next cutscene, you have to wonder whether making it a shooter at all was an intelligent strategy.

In fact, it almost seems that, from Jan’s comments, the team would have preferred to make a film anyway: ‘Gameplay is something that… it’s a game, we make games, we can’t get around it.’ Let’s

not even mention the strange, letterboxing the game enforces and the drop to 30fps to provide a more ‘cinematic experience’ (game-developer language for ‘we struggle with optimisation’).

Ready at Dawn should have followed in the tracks of Van Helsing, using what they had to their advantage, rather than trying to be something they weren’t. And by that I mean transforming into a werewolf and eating Dracula.

Ollie England

Political issues definitely have a place in Oscar acceptance speeches.

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he 2015 Oscars were both a celebration of the finest of the entertainment industry and a powerfully political event.

This year’s host Neil Patrick Harris alluded to the #OscarSoWhite controversy that ensued after the nominations by saying “Tonight we honour Hollywood’s best and whitest-sorry, brightest.”

Many winners chose to use the stage as a platform to create awareness towards a range of pressing social issues. Patricia Arquette, who won Best Supporting Actress for her role in Boyhood, took to the stage to advocate equal pay for women.

Her speech was met with a roar of applause, including fellow actresses Meryl Streep and Jennifer Lopez cheering wildly in the audience. It has been nearly 40 years since the Equal Pay Act and equality still seems a long way away.

With women making up half the workforce and many holding high

In Case You Missed It A quick look at some of the entertainment stories from the past fortnight which were too interesting, funny or downright bizarre to overlook.

February 25 saw the last ever Orange Wednesdays deal, allowing cinema-goers to get two cinema tickets for the price of one, after bosses announced last year that “people’s viewing habits had evolved.” Funnily enough, our Games editor Robin Wilde has a friend who was nicknamed Orange Wednesday because he lost his virginity after using the deal on a date. Apparently, he was also wearing an orange condom.

positions in their respective industries, it is high time that equal pay became a reality.

The public needs to be educated on the importance of equality between all genders and races. Taking into account the recent happenings in Ferguson and the untimely, brutal death of Eric Garner, one of the most memorable moments of the night was the performance of ‘Glory’ by John Legend and Common. They acknowledged America’s civil rights movement in their acceptance speech and called for the American public to remember their history when moving forward.

The most sincere speech came from Graham Moore who won the award for Best Adapted Screenplay for The Imitation Game. Moore spoke candidly about the emotional unrest in his past, especially his suicide attempts at 16 because he felt “weird”. As he collected his award, he stated: “I would like for this moment to be for that kid out

there who feels like she’s weird or she’s different or she doesn’t fit in anywhere. Yes, you do. I promise you do. You do. Stay weird”. In a society that forces us to conform, Moore proved that individuality is a blessing and not a curse.

Using the stage as a soapbox was both welcomed and criticised heavily in the media. Some claimed that they took the focus away from the films and that these issues should be left to “professionals”.

When it comes to social issues, what is said matters more than who says it. Why not use their influence on the public to create awareness towards these issues?

It goes without saying that people are free to express themselves; there is nothing wrong with the elite of Hollywood speaking candidly and passionately about the issues they believe in.

Devni Kitulagoda

We usually need to save a spot on this page for some mad occurrence at the Brit Awards, and this year was no exception. Just when it looked like the ceremony would end without a hitch, pop legend Madonna was pulled down a flight of stairs by her cape. Fortunately she quickly recovered and went on to sing ‘Living for Love’, which ironically contains the lyrics “love’s gonna lift me up.” It’s almost like she did it on purpose...

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Friday March 6 2015

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elcome to another issue of Fuse, lovely readers. Our editors have been hard at work as usual over the past fortnight getting the new content ready to be printed and devoured by you.

A fortnight doesn’t seem like a long time, but a lot can happen in two weeks. A pop star can fall off the stage at an awards show, a dress can break the internet, and a long-standing cinema deal can come to a sad end.

If you want to read a little more

about any of these, skip down to our In Case You Missed It section (once you’ve finished reading this editorial of course), and you’ll find little nuggets about each one.

As always, we also have reviews of some excellent (and some tragic) albums, films, games, and plays that have been released or been shown in the last two weeks.

Music also have an interview with the Cribs which took place last week when they played in Sheffield, and Games have a feature on Twitch and SLUGSoc’s recent charity streams.

Arts and Screen have teamed up for a joint feature on porn. Yes, you read that correctly. Their feature delves into how pornography has become an artform in film. (You can pretend all you like, but we all know you’re going to read that first).

In the next two weeks we’ll also have completely new SU officers.

Voting opens on March 6, and the elections results will be revealed on March 13 so you don’t have long to vote for your new team of officers.

Because election fever is hitting the SU, we have a special sixteen page edition coming out next Fri-

day, devoted solely to the results.

After that, there’s no Fuse until after the Easter break. Terrible news, I know, but there’ll be plenty of content going up on the website, so make sure to check www.forgetoday.com for all the latest reviews.

If you see any of us wandering around over the Easter break, looking lost or confused, it because we Fuse editors usually realise that we have no life outside of Forge, and don’t know what to do with our sudden abundance of free time. No joke.

Kate Lovatt & Phil Bayles

Arts-deprived schools will breed talentless children.

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d Miliband has declared that if he gets into power then Ofsted will not be able to give schools an “Outstanding” rating unless they offer some way to be involved in the arts.

Issuing this kind of bold statement so close to the general election will of course allow his critics to chirp up the same old shouts, that it’s all just talk and it won’t be backed up when a government is formed. Sadly there’s a lot of this that goes on in the petty playground of a parliament that we currently endure.

Having said that, we have to take these things at face value and see them for what they are, which, in this case, is a bloody good idea.

Without arts subjects where would we be? Sat in the corner at a poorly furnished pre-drinks trying to make conversation with your bottle of vodka as you listen to the deafening silence of ambient noise.

Involvement in the arts is undoubtedly one of the most underrated

aspects of a child’s development.

They obviously improve creativity and confidence, and the long term effects of these cannot be underestimated for people who get involved from a young age.

“Without arts subjects, where would we be?”

In a week where many have goggled at the stars of the Oscars, how much more obvious do reminders have to be to show that involvement in the arts from a young age is so vital?

These are the people who make the films you watch, write the books you read, design the buildings you live in, make the clothes you wear, and write the songs you drunkenly sing along to.

They are our idols, but if there’s

no apparent way to replicate their success then how can we expect anybody with talent ever to emerge from our country’s barren school system again?

According to the Guardian, Miliband has made it his mission to guarantee “a universal entitlement to education for every child”, and it’s about time.

The Warwick Commission’s recently published report finds that there has been a 23 per cent drop in the number of people taking Drama for GCSE, as well as a massive 50 per cent drop for Design and Technology.

Miliband has taken a brave stance here, but if it does turn out to be election hot air, then I’m sure somebody will damn him with a finely written piece of satirical theatre. Let’s hope this remains a possibility.

Matthew Drew

Blame a lack of representation on the music industry, not festival organisers.

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h, Reading & Leeds, you have disappointed me.

Along with a fair amount of females, I think.

The festival announced its 2015 line up last month, and it’s fair to say I had the standard reaction of shock to see that only 9 out of the 100 acts set to appear are female.

That’s a 91 per cent male line up, and that is just not good enough.

It’s not good enough for every girl who has musical talent, now having to look at the most popular and well known musical events where females are clearly not equally accepted.

And it is not just Reading & Leeds.

The Isle of Wight festival, T in the Park, and End of the Road are all significantly male dominated. This kind of culture is ridiculously out of date in today’s society. But there is also no lying that it is a culture that we are all so used to.

Shamefully, I wouldn’t have given

this announcement a second thought had it not been for the general uproar it has received. Despite how sad it is, when I think of a typical rock band or indie group it is the all-male ensembles that spring to mind. Arctic Monkeys, the 1975, Kasabian, Kings of Leon, Metallica; the list is endless.

“Only those working in the music industry can change this culture” And why is this? It’s not because the festivals aren’t accepting females. It’s because the music industry itself isn’t.

How is a festival meant to book female musicians when there is such This photo of a dress, taken at a wedding in Scotland, managed to break the internet in ways that Kim Kardashian couldn’t even imagine. Is it white with gold stripes?

Or blue with black stripes? Or light blue with gold stripes? It’s a thorny issue that’s divided families and ended friendships all over the world. All we know is, if we stare at this picture any longer we’ll go cross-eyed.

a lack of opportunity in the industry for females to progress from small gigs with a 10 man audience in the first place? The music industry, particularly in the genre of music that is seen at Reading & Leeds, signs, endorses, and promotes male artists.

The media doesn’t really have a leg to stand on either- there is an excess of bands out there that feature mainly female artists but the mainstream media completely ignores them. But then we could go on for weeks about groups that are side-lined by the media.

Only those working in the music industry can change this culture by signing more female bands with a big marketing campaign behind them.

Otherwise, how else will the public know that they do actually exist?

Ellena Rowlin

Like countless others around the world we were devastated to learn that actor Leonard Nimoy, best known for playing Mr Spock on the original series of Star Trek, passed away last month at the age of 83. His last tweet was unbelievably beautiful: “A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory.” He lived long, and he certainly prospered.

Editorial.

Robin Wilde designed this fortnight’s awesome cover.

It’s like Fuse meets Hogwarts.

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Porn!

Friday March 6 2015

Now that we have your attention, read Joe Brennan’s feature about sex, and how films that deal with it are an artform in their own right.

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ornography serves the basest of human sensations: titillation. It excites our desires in the biological and psychological sense, whereas art should (hopefully) aim to teasingly tantalise our intellect. It should be obvious that those two things are not mutually exclusive.

I mean Harry Potter is all well and good, teaching us that: a) boarding schools are the way to go, and b) us Brits are magical. However, what’s Harry Potter without some erotic fan-fiction? (OTP: SnapeXHagrid) Sex is usually a private experience between two individuals (except when it’s not), so how can that be truthfully portrayed in the public forum of art? We watch films in the cinema, peek at portraits in the art gallery, and read Fifty Shades of Meh on the bus. Yes, in the age of the internet, we can now indulge our innermost fantasies in private, having a grand old time with Pornhub, Fakku and all the others, but that isn’t art, is it?

If I want to convince you that porn can be art, I’m going to need to wind the clocks back. Our setting: America, Japan, France (of course), and maybe we can squeeze in a bit of British cock. The medium is film, because I’m a terrible Literature student and I got a C in Year 9 Art. As long as we’ve been able to create pictures, we’ve

wanted to scribble down the naughty stuff. Drawing penises on school desks is less an act of teenage rebellion and more of a pubescent compulsion. The same goes for movies. Nudity has been a part of cinema since its birth at the end of the 19th century.

Predictably, the oldest surviving porno is a French short from 1908: A L’Ecu d’Or ou la Bonne Auberge. It’s

safe to say that there were probably loads before this though.

Virtually no effort was made to preserve films of the silent era which is why you can’t see most of them.

Porn had an even harder time.

They would have been screened in brothels that were raided by the police and the negatives promptly destroyed.

What’s interesting about the threesome in A L’Ecu d’Or is that, stylistically, it isn’t that different from mainstream porn today. Close-up penetration shots, camera at eye-level, and prioritisation on giving the audience an optimal view. The male gaze was there before Laura Mulvey was even in nappies.

Porn continues to titillate in much the same way today, but as cinema got older and went through its hipster artist phase, it would portray sex in ways that were more daring. Sex could stimulate the organ in your skull and the organ in your pants.

Fast-forward to 1950 and we have Un chant d’amour. Directed by the French writer Jean Genet, it is one of the earliest representations of gay passion. Homosexuality had been represented in a sympathetic way before, most notably in Germany with Anders als die Andern in 1919, and the lesbian drama Mädchen in Uniform in 1931, but these films were more about sexuality, rather than sex.

In Un chant, two prisoners long for each other, but are separated by the wall between their cells. The dialogue-free film portrays masturbation and more ambiguous sexual encounters in various fantasy sequences. The inclusion of a voyeuristic prison guard questions the role of the audience in this story while never letting go of the sensuality of its steamier moments.

On the other side of the Atlantic, American

cinema was facing problems. With the rise of television throughout the previous decade, cinema was in a pretty bad way during the 1960s. Attendance was down and studio executives were feeling the heat. Hollywood had been under the stranglehold of the Hays Code since the early 30s. These draconian rules meant that unmarried couples couldn’t even be shown sharing a bed, let alone doing anything in it.

By the 60s, the power of this code was on the wane, with the first naked breasts of mainstream American cinema appearing in the 1964 film The Pawnbroker (Morgan Freeman’s debut, coincidentally). Before that even, the American avant-garde had been toying with sex through film. 1963 saw the ambiguously gendered orgies of Flaming Creatures, and Andy Warhol’s Blow job. In the Warhol film, a man receives a you-know-what while the camera stares at his changing expressions. It even got a sequel.

The code would eventually collapse in 1968 and out of its ashes would rise the MPAA rating system we all know and (don’t) love to this day.

America would begin its golden-age of porn in 1972 with the box-office success of hardcore porno Deep Throat.

Its star Linda Lovelace would become the subject of a mediocre (not for its message but for its execution) biopic in 2013.

However, there was another, better American film in 1972. One that remains a classic to this day. I am of course referring to the John Waters masterpiece Pink Flamingoes.

Starring the appropriately named drag queen Divine, Waters created a penis-shaped firecracker of a film that revelled in kitsch and wallowed in depravity. Divine is the filthiest person alive, and she will go to any lengths to hold onto that title. The film is mostly remembered today for its ending where Divine eats dog shit. But there was so many ways the film tried to shock its audience; foot fetishes (minor), a particularly anal rendition of ‘Surfin’ Bird’, chickens crushed during sex, and Divine even sucks off her adult son in an unsimulated sex scene.

Pink Flamingoes took a dump on the face of polite society, and then smeared it into the pores. It was a resounding howl from the underground, it was beautiful, and if that isn’t art then I don’t know what is.

Across the Pacific, there was a new genre taking form in Japan. It began in 1962 with an ultra low budget film called Flesh Market. Directed by Satoru Kobayashi, the graphic depiction of sex in this minuscule film earned it an audience with the police who seized prints and the original negative.

Desperate, the film-makers assembled a new cut from leftover footage, and thanks to a combination of sex and the Streisand effect, this tiny film ended up being a boxoffice success. Flesh Market gave birth to a new genre called the ‘pink film’. These largely independent, low budget films quickly rocketed in popularity, with 213 made in 1965.

Tetsuji Takechi’s 1964 Daydream is considered to be the first major success of the pink genre, enjoying overseas distribution, touring grimy erotic cinemas. The events of the film are framed as a series of hallucinations by a dentist’s patient who has fantasies about being molested by the dentist and his nurse. Being adapted from a work by modernist author Junichirô Tanizaki, along with an odd, experimental soundtrack, the film could sell itself as art rather than merely an exercise in showing off sex and sexual violence.

The censorship board Eirin allowed pink films to portray almost anything, even rape, but one area they wouldn’t budge on was genitalia. No vagina, no penis, and no pubic hair was allowed to be seen. Offending members would have to be blurred out if they happened to peek at the camera.

Enter Nagisa Oshima, one of the foremost directors of the Japanese New Wave, and described by the critic Tony Rayns as “the ultimate contrarian.” Approached by French producer Anatole Dauman (this guy worked with Alain Resnais and Jean-Luc Godard), Oshima was given creative

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Friday March 6 2015

freedom to create an erotic film. The rebellious director was unable to find funding for his films at home, so he accepted the financial backing of the French producer.

Oshima would take the story for his film from the newspapers: the story of Sada Abe. A former geisha, Sada worked as a servant in the household of Kichizo Ishida.

She had a month long affair with her boss, which culminated in her strangling him during a sexual experiment.

Four days later, Sada was found by the police, carrying Kichizo’s penis and testicles in her bag.

At the time of its 1976 release, Noboru Tanaka had already directed a pink film about Sada the year before. But Oshima’s In the Realm of the Senses was far more ambitious.

Casting established film star, Tatsuya Fuji as Kichizo, and underground theatre actor Eiko Matsuda as Sada, Oshima would have his actors doing the dirty for real. The camera would show everything. Penetration shots everywhere!

In an early scene, Sada shows her furry friend to an elderly customer. Uncensored, the shot is like a great big middle finger to the Japanese authorities. The unapologetic portrayal of intercourse is an act of rebellion. By locking each other away from the world to enjoy each other’s bodies, Sada and Kichizo reject the increasing militarism of 1930s Japan.

One shot has Kichizo walking down a street after having a haircut. A parade of marching soldiers divides the street, with flag-waving civilians on one side and Kichizo on the other. The soldiers are walking towards war with Asia, and eventually America, but Kichizo walks the other way.

Sex is not just pleasure in In the Realm of the Senses (although the film certainly recognises that aspect) it is political and philosophical. A means to discover, or lose yourself in another.

The scenes were shot in Japan, but the film had to be developed in France to sidestep any obscenity laws. It didn’t stop Oshima from being charged with obscenity for publishing the screenplay. To this day, it is impossible to view In the Realm of the Senses uncensored in its country of origin.

There is a debate to be had on whether In the Realm of the Senses is guilty of a certain sexism. Especially given how much of this sexism was entrenched in the pink film

industry to begin with (as you can imagine). As a straight, white, cis, northern-hemisphere-residing, likes-his-coffeeblack guy I can’t give a definitive, fully-informed answer, but I can offer super-brief insight into the film’s ambiguities.

The affair begins with Kichizo exploiting the masterservant power dynamic between himself and Sada. He treats her as an object, but as their relationship develops she gains agency. On the other hand, she becomes dangerously jealous as she gains power over Kichizo.

There are other factors to consider, but all I can say is watch this film for yourself and make up your own mind.

Whatever your conclusion, In the Realm of the Senses is an extraordinary film that will test the boundaries of your own realm.

Now I’d like to finish you off with a trip back home to the UK, and how us Brits liked our cinematic sex. We need to back-pedal a bit to reach (what I think was) our big watershed moment, and we need to look at one director: Ken Russell.

Cutting his teeth with early television work for the BBC, Russell would go on to adapt the controversial DH Lawrence novel Women in Love. The 1969 film chronicles the love lives of sisters Ursula (Jennie Linden) and Gudrun (Glenda Jackson). Ursula falls for school inspector, Rupert (Alan Bates), while Gudrun is in love with his best friend, Gerald (Oliver Reed). The film did not shy away from sex scenes, and was unapologetic in showing male and female nudity.

Before Women in Love, nudist films could be shown in the UK, which Michael Winner promptly took advantage of with the rubbish 1962 film Some Like It Cool. It was all rather silly and cheeky, and Russell would blow them all away with his portrayal of sex.

At the time, the BBFC was led by Chief Censor, John Trevelyan. He once said in an interview: “we [the BBFC] have no rules. Which I think is important, I think it’s the only way to do it properly.” For a censor, Trevelyan was a bit of a badass. He used to hang out with artists like Andy Warhol, and was a Soho character. He collaborated with Russell and screenwriter Larry Kramer on Women in Love

and the results are tremendous.

The most important scene is when Rupert and Russell are discussing love, when they decide to wrestle. This famous nude scene is a sublime slice of cinema. Oliver Reed leaps in front of the camera and there it is: his great, big, fat, misogynist cock. Set in a posh country house, the only source of light is a roaring fire. The scene was darkened to slightly obscure the phalluses, and sweat accumulates on the backs of these hulking men, all of which heightens the steamy subtext of the scene. The visuals, sounds and editing all come together in perfect harmony to create a perfect scene.

It wasn’t just a tiny film to be screened in a five-seater venue though. Russell was an accomplished director, Bates and Reed were both well-known actors, so people would have come to see Women in Love. Keep in mind that homosexuality had only been decriminalised two years earlier.

Russell and Reed would continue to push the boundaries of sex in film with The Devils in 1971. Unfortunately, Warner Bros absolutely hate the film and it cannot be seen uncut, outside of a few rare screenings. One of the most controversial scenes has a group of nuns sexually assaulting a crucifix.

Who are they to decide what we are permitted to see in art? In fact who is anyone? When it comes to art everything should be fair game. Yes, we may drown ourselves in a deluge of material that may be (to use the favourite word of perpetual hand-wringers) “problematic”, but the treasures we gain are priceless and innumerable.

I mean Jesus, in all my ramblings I haven’t even mentioned the Sade-inspired Salò by Pier Paolo Pasolini, the works of sexploitation by Doris Wishman, and Barbara Hammer’s 1974 short Dyketactics. Then there are recent works like Blue is the Warmest Colour, Strangers on the Lake, and anything by Lars Von Trier. Sex in the cinema can be so much more than Hollywood actors dry humping in the missionary position. It can fire your mind in more ways than one.

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Friday March 6 2015

The prodigal son returns...

Josie Kirk caught up with the indie legends’ frontman Gary Jarman in a Fuse exclusive, to chat about Sheffield, the indie music scene and an island full of pigs.

Sitting in a small dressing room above the Leadmill stage, I eagerly await the arrival of Gary Jarman - one third of the UK’s most adored indie bands - The Cribs.

The band are releasing their new album For All My Sisters next month, and are coming to the end of their 2015 tour of intimate gig venues. They play the Leadmill tonight for the first time in almost a decade, and when Gary arrives, he definitely has a lot to say about being back.

You headlined Sheffield's music festival Tramlines last summer - how does it feel being back in Sheffield and is there anything special about playing gigs in Yorkshire?

There's definitely something special about playing at the Leadmill given that we haven't played here since, I think around 2005. It's so cool because it hasn't changed at all. We've been on the road for a long time, which I recognise, and everywhere has changed a lot. But when you get out of these sized venues everywhere is kind of the same - they're all academies and they're very uniform. It's just really cool to come back. We're sentimental people, and it feels great that it's exactly how we remembered it.

There’s definitely something special about playing at the Leadmill Did you ever see any bands at the Leadmill?

I remember seeing Radish here in 1997 (Ben Kweller's first band). I was just a kid- you know stage diving and stuff like that. There weren't many people there and it had a weird vibe. And I saw the White Stripes here in 2001. Somehow me and Ryan (Gary's twin and band mate) blagged our way into that one, it was a really hot ticket - I actually have no idea how we managed to get in. I remember hanging out with Jason Von Bondie (of the Von Bondies) a little bit because we were going to take him to a guitar shop or something,so maybe it was something to do with that. We were so broke and had no money to get a taxi back, and I remember jumping a taxi at the end of the gig...

All the way back to Wakefield?!

Yeah it took us back to Wakefield! It's just all the kind of stuff I would never dream of doing now. Me and Ry were very much - well I guess the band had just started and at that point we had a real determination. We would just take risks and do dumb stuff.

I read somewhere that you sent a demo to the Leadmill's promoter at the time, is this true?

Yeah it's totally true! I actually completely forgot about that story.This is again going back to what I was saying about the way we were when the band first started. We came down to Sheffield, we just wanted to play the Leadmill, and we had a demo.

We couldn't get in of course. But then the postman showed up, and Ryan just walked straight up with him. He knocked on the office door and just gave them the demo. I think those guys just really liked the fact that he'd done that. The people who ran the Leadmill had a label called Sobriety Records at the time, and they were putting out a Sheffield band called Hoggboy who were primed to be the new Strokes or something.

The guy really loved the demo but he was too busy with Hoggboy. Then within a week we got a phone call from Virgin Records because it had been passed on to them.

So I guess you could say Leadmill played a part in The Cribs success?

It was just this weird chain of events that led to us having a lot of exposure - as soon as Virgin gets involved everyone gets involved. I suppose it really came down to the fact that Ryan was prepared to follow the postman up the stairs. It's so funny when I look back at how many otherwise insignificant events, resulted in big things. And whenever I give young bands advice, I always say make sure you're not whoring yourself out, and you're just doing what you want to do.

It's just a case of, not being afraid to not follow that conventional path. So many young bands get stuck in that battle of the bands circuit forever, which I think is ultimately pretty negative for people. It's better to feel like you're operating outside of whatever the status quo is in your city because people admire that, and they'll remember you.

Your new album comes out next month, is there anything you can tell us about the new material? Is it a progression from the last record or something brand new?

It's a combination of both. I always think the records are a progression based on the fact that they're better records than the previous ones. If that progression stops, that's when you know it's time to quit. We actually talk about this as a band pretty openly. Being brothers, there's no fear of that discussion. We have conversations where we say, if it's not going to be as good as the last one, then we should probably just break up.

That's not going to happen though is it?

Maybe not! I guess we're just practical about it because I feel like we've done everything that we wanted to do in the first place. We never wanted to be perennials.

It's certainly a better record than the last one (In the Belly of the Brazen Bull). That was actually my favourite one, but I think this one's better - it's definitely a lot more succinct. It's not stripped back per se, but it's streamlined. The songs concentrate on

the hooks and the melodies. We've always had a reputation for writing pop songs and then doing everything we can to fuck them up. But this time we've let them be what they want to be, and it's the most cohesive record we've ever made.

You released your video for new single ‘Burning for No One’ last week, which sees you and the band on a desert island full of pigs... Do you enjoy making videos?

No! It's the worst thing in the entire world. Unless you're the sort of person who really thinks a lot of themselves and likes to be looked at, it's horrible. We've never been like that. So making a video is very difficult, especially when you know that people are actually going to watch it. You just don't feel like yourself. But with this video, that was the whole purpose. We made it with friends of ours, who know how uncomfortable we get and so the idea was let's just do something really fun. We didn't really have a chance to feel out of place. Believe it or not I felt more in my element on that island with those pigs than I do in a studio with lights and stuff. You can't take yourself too seriously when there's pigs around.

You seem to be quite fond of the pigs?

We were sort of in love with them, but the big ones were pretty formidable. Ross (Gary’s brother and band mate) got his toe bitten and it was brutal. We were trying to get the pigs out into the sea to swim with us, but it was bad weather and they were pissed off. It was terrifying , we were trying to lure them out with food and they kept bellowing and squealing whilst we were all getting hit by waves. It was kind of a disaster. We enjoyed filming on the first day though, it was a beautiful day. But we were really tired , getting there was really difficult, we had all the worst luck in the world.

What happened?

We were flying there and Ryan got caught in a blizzard on the East Coast- we weren’t sure he’d make it. Believe it or not, my plane from Portland to Atlanta had a bomb threat issued against it so they grounded the plane. And because of that they impounded everyone’s luggage to check for bombs. I arrived in the Bahamas and had no change of clothes, or even a toiletry bag. It was pretty challenging!

You and Ryan handed out the NME award for best new band last week, which went to Royal Blood. What do you think of the indie music scene at the moment?

You know, we don’t really think that much about it. I think it’s because we’ve been around for a while. We get asked a lot of questions about how guitar music is out of fashion and how we feel about that, and again the answer’s the same - we don’t think about it. There has been a lot of commentary in the media about that actually, but we’ve been pretty unaffected by it. We built up a fan base by trying to keep out of sight, and trying to stay outside of what was popular, so we haven’t noticed any difference. The tour sold straight out. We have a core fan base that we got without going through those channels so it hasn’t really affected us.

I felt more in my element on that island with those pigs than I do in a studio Are there any new bands you’re getting excited about?

We only take bands on tour that we like, so at the moment we’re fond of Menace Beach (who are supporting The Cribs tonight.) They’re cool. And there’s a band from Seattle called Chastity Belt that I keep giving props to - I really love Chastity Belt.

They’re my two favourite new bands right now.

And finally, what are you most excited about performing tonight? The old material, new material, or a bit of both?

It’s definitely the new stuff. The old stuff - I like playing it because people really enjoy it, and that feels good. But for me personally, I just like playing the new stuff. Take a song like ‘Another Number,’ which we wrote in February 2002. I’ve played that song and heard that riff almost every day since then, it’s pretty wild. It’s still special to us, and I think if I was to ever choose one song to represent our band I would say that one. But do I enjoy playing it? I mean kind of. So yeah, the new stuff is more fun because you have such nervous energy. And I never like things to be too easy. I say that a lot, but it’s not an affectation , I like it when things are a challenge.

So what other challenges do The Cribs face?

It was really challenging when we first started the band. It was tough to break out of a small town, and to forge an identity. That was the challenge and that’s what we thrived on. And even since the band has become established and had some level of success, that’s still our motivating force. I think that that’s why, back when guitar bands were popular on the radio, we were the odd ones out.

We made ourselves as unpalatable as possible. It was a weird situation to be in, hearing that E4 wanted to talk to us, or so-and-so wanted us on their TV show. It was hard to correlate that with the background that we came from musically. It was fun to try and be subversive. But we knew that if we had kept our mouths shut, just played the songs and worn the free clothes that everyone was giving us, we could have ridden that gravy train. But we wouldn’t be around anymore, we’d be gone by now. So I wouldn’t change a thing. It was never really in question anyway, and I certainly have no regrets from that era.

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Friday March 6 2015

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Friday March 6 2015

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ith the Twitch streaming epidemic at an all-time high, the website’s review of 2014 forecasted the continual expansion of its potential and innovative prowess. All in all, the service still satisfies a massive demand; last year, 100 million viewers used Twitch every month to watch their favourite games being played both casually and competitively by streamers around the world.

This increasing number may demonstrate the evolution, even revitalisation, of a community vibe. From the good ol’ days of one-screen-two-controllers, to Steam team gaming, the gaming sphere seems intrinsically connected to a sense of society, and the establishment of a YouTube-esque hub has successfully created a new connecting link.

What’s more, Twitch community members have a lot of say.

With their dedication to sustaining and pleasing its user base, the website is constantly pushing itself forward onto the next popular idea. Everything is stunningly fresh; so much so that crusty establishments like the BBC cannot keep up, or even understand this trend away from the traditional sense of ‘viewing’. The beauty of Twitch can be found in its openness to the new; whether you’re looking to create something purely entertaining, or insightfully educational, each stream user is only limited to their own imagination.

So through this forward-thinking, community-focused mentality, it’s needless to say that the next logical step for some Twitch groups was to raise money for good causes. To an outsider, the concept of a charity stream may seem unusual, even unwanted.

Yet they’re increasingly popular, and the amount of money raised through JustGiving by transmitting your cause around the world can be staggering; maybe it’s time you rethought running that marathon. The charity event Games Done Quick, for instance, presents a speedy alternative, where high-level gamers inconceivably race through the likes of Rayman Legends in 25 minutes, Metal Gear Rising in 10 minutes, and Portal in under 14 minutes. In January, the 160-hour stream raised $1,575,000 for the Prevent Cancer Foundation. It’s hard to dispute such a successful format.

‘The beauty of Twitch can be found in its openness to the new’ Contributing to the $10.5m total raised for charity through the website last year, groups such as Games Done Quick have become an integral part of Twitch’s pledge to instrument gamers as ‘social, family orientated, educated, optimistic, successful and socially conscious’. With the (especially recent) bad press on the gaming community, it’s necessary to realise that gamers are finding, and will continue to find, creative ways to both supply a demand, and make changes for good in the world around them.

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Hearthstone, The Forest, Space Engineers, Unreal Tournament, some old school Runescape. All of these games allowed us to set goals to work towards which makes for an interesting stream.

‘it’s nice to see people’s reaction when you say, ‘I’m going to a LAN this weekend… to raise money for charity’’

Do you think charity streaming helps to lessen the stigma against gamers?

Gamers get a lot of unjustified stigma, so it’s nice to see people’s reaction when you say, ‘I’m going to a LAN this weekend… to raise money for charity’. People instantly show a lot more interest. Good platforms can do a lot of good.

ur very own SLUGSoc gaming society, hosted a charity stream in aid of SpecialEffect, a UK based charity that uses video games and technology to enhance the quality of life of people with disabilities. We talked to publicity officer Ned Westwood to see how the charity stream played out.

Why do you think charity streaming is so popular?

Twitch streaming is a big thing for a lot of gamers. Many people like to watch their favourite streamers and pro players play their games of choice. A lot of money can be raised through professional streaming, and so it’s a great platform to raise money for a charity like SpecialEffect.

What did you stream, and why?

We streamed a variety of games, including stuff like Minecraft,

What technical aspects did you have to think about? Any logistical nightmares?

Oh, loads! We streamed at a LAN so it isn’t as simple as just streaming for 24 hours, we had to set up and host everyone’s separate streams. In the end this got a bit chaotic for viewers.

Why do you think Twitch is a good format for raising money?

It’s easy, and fairly simple to set up. The hard part is getting viewers (we only had a few). But in general if you manage to publicise something enough so that you get a lot of viewers, you tend to get ‘hype trains’, and lots of donations, especially if you’ll read out messages for them on stream.

How much did you raise, and what charity is it all going to?

We raised over £130 from both the stream, and ticket sales for the LAN. All of the money is going to SpecialEffect.

You can still support the SLUGSoc cause by donating to https://www.justgiving.com/SLUGSoc Look out for next issue of Fuse for our feature on SpecialEffect, out April 24th.

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Friday March 6 2015

Fuse Games.

Oddworld: New ‘N’ Tasty Just Add Water

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here is an institution, and it’s called Oddworld. To a certain kind of PlayStation gamer from the 1990s, this triumph of a grimy puzzle-platformer stands alongside Mario and Sonic as one of the defining moments of that decade.

That’s if you believe the hype.

With Sega and Nintendo jealously hogging their well-honed properties on the Nintendo 64 and Saturn, and despite Crash and Spyro making waves in the 3D world, there was precious little to occupy the void of 2D platformers on Sony’s first system. Oddworld would have to do.

Oddworld: New ‘N’ Tasty is a remake of the original game, Abe’s Oddysee. The player controls Abe, a slave in the RuptureFarms meat

processing factory. When he discovers that he and his fellow creatures are next for the chop, he sets out on a quest to liberate his fellow Mudokon and escape RuptureFarms. Beset by gun-wielding guards, dangerous machinery and his own propensity to fall down pits, Abe has a meaty challenge ahead of him.

One of the causes of death just listed was not intended as a common occurrence mind. Only the most ten-thumbed of players should be able to fall down an obviously telegraphed hole, and I don’t think its too egomaniacal to state that doing so was not a problem of skill.

The controls in New ‘N’ Tasty are simply not up to scratch. Commands entered by the player seem to take half a second to reach Abe’s brain, and consequently controlling him feels like driving a remote-controlled car with the batteries running out. It would take many hands and feet to be able to count on fingers and toes the number of deaths

caused simply by being unable to react in time to problems, or time jumps properly, particularly in one frustrating moment near the beginning in which timed trap doors and meat grinders ruined Abe’s day dozens of times in a row.

“The controls are simply not up to scratch” The puzzle and level designs are not always intuitive, occasionally requiring trial-and-error in order to complete, with levers producing mystery results until Abe walks into the next room and is immediately shot.

There’s a pleasingly grim and grimy graphical style, with oddly proportioned creatures that genuinely look in pain as they’re bullied into more labouring by guards. The blood splatters that result from an enemy having an unfortunate run-

in with a grenade are nice and visceral, and it’s quite a wonder this was ever considered a series for kids.

Oddworld is a series with a ton of potential which remains suspended throughout. There is every disappointment in a unique and interesting series being constrained and throttled by mechanical difficulty that even a free copy of the original game does not do enough to save.

Robin Wilde

Follow us on Twitter @ForgeGames More reviews online Read more reviews online at Forge Today

CULT CORNER

THE VANISHING OF eTHAN cARTER The Astronauts

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requently, video games are let down by their story, characters, dialogue, or design. Peculiarly, The Order 1886 is let down by its gameplay. Though the spectacular visuals, wonderful storytelling, compelling characters and remarkable atmosphere elevate the game to a standard few attain, the world is characterised by a look but don’t touch attitude.

The game is torn throughout its brief campaign between an uncompromising desire to tell its admittedly noteworthy story, and delivering the degree of interactivity typically associated with its medium. Here, The Order’s potential is stifled, though not to such an extent as to prevent an enjoyable experience.

The game’s most memorable facet is its setting, and despite the brevity of the player’s time amongst it, it remains breathtaking. Alternate-reality London is realised in startling detail and despite the presence of zeppelins in its skies, werewolves, and century-old knights armed with futuristic weapons, it never feels farfetched.

Real and contemporary figures such as Nikolai Tesla interact with the fictional cast in an imaginative way, and play pivotal roles as the knights of the titular Order take advantage of the period’s industrial development, turning the tables on their conflict

with monstrous half-breeds.

In addition, the collectible audio files and documents such as newspapers, photographs and letters litter the game’s environments, providing both replay value to the otherwise stunted campaign, and an opportunity to further explore its expansive and intriguing lore. The third person cover-based shooting as you follow Sir Galahad is spiced up by an array of experimental weapons, which is nonetheless efficient nonetheless its reliance upon quick time events.

More exciting however, are Galahad’s interactions with the varied cast; as with much of the game, the dialogue is splendid.

This is fortunate because there’s a lot of it.

Cutscenes are prevalent throughout The Order, and the game frequently restricts your movement that you might not miss any of its lengthy exposition. The tradition within the gaming industry towards linear campaigns is more pronounced here than in any other game I can think of, and whilst it’s certainly impressive, it can be oppressive, and won’t be for everyone.

The Order’s cinematic presentation, rewarding action, nuanced characters, atmospheric setting and intelligent interpretation of the period make it easy to recommend, and were it not for its excessively linear missions and short campaign, it would be a must-play. It’s an incredible glimpse into an astounding world; I just wish I could have seen more of it.

Alexander Drake

ith The Vanishing of Ethan Carter’s opening words: ‘This game is a narrative experience which does not hold your hand’, you can begin to perceive the sheer imaginative content the the Astronauts have poured into the game.

These same developers have worked on other, more violent titles, such as Bulletstorm and Gears of War: Judgement, so it may be surprising to some to see that these developers have created a beautiful narrative adventure, taking inspiration from the Lovecraftian weird fiction of the 20th century.

You play a character named Paul Prospero, a kind of supernatural detective, who arrives at Red Creek Valley on invitation from Ethan Carter, a boy who has written a letter concerning a murder mystery regarding his family. The narrative voice of Paul Prospero will pop up every now and again, usually after completing a specific scene, reflecting on the events you witness as you piece the puzzle together.

As a detective, it is your job to find as many clues as you can to get inside the mind set of Ethan and his fam-

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ily. The game has various puzzles, clues and details you need to pay attention to, you are required to solve them all if you wish to find out the truth to Ethan Carter’s mystery.

There is no map nor markers to show you where to go. In other words, you really will be acting the detective, and the nature of the game allows you to do this with apparent ease, without actually giving it away.

You still have to use your head.

Although the game gives the impression that you have the ability to ‘free roam’, there is a fairly linear path (as there is with most narrative games – regardless of how much you are able to roam freely). This illusion isn’t noticeable at first; however, once you’ve realised that you may have missed something you’ll have to backtrack, so pay attention to detail.

This game is beautiful, both aesthetically and narratively. If you happen to have a very capable graphics card in your computer, you are in for a smooth and an extremely visually pleasing adventure. The game will be released this year for PS4 for console players.

By beautifully mixing the supernatural and imaginative with cold, hard reality, Ethan Carter leaves itself open to interpretation and leaves the player thinking, with no hand-holding in sight. For such a short game it definitely feels worth the buy.

Ned Westwood

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Friday March 6 2014

Fuse Arts.

Jeeves and wooster Lyceum

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ertie Wooster is in the soup.

After a failed attempt to sneer at an antique cow creamer and the accidental theft of Sir Watkyn Bassett’s umbrella (a magistrate with whom he has a chequered history), Bertie must decamp to Totleigh Towers.

He is forced to heal a rift between his fish-faced, newt-fancying friend, Gussie Fink-Nottle, and the eternally soppy Madeline Bassett, Sir Watkyn’s daughter, whose conversation generally revolves around ‘elves, gnomes, flowers, and small furry creatures’ and whose affections will otherwise be transferred to Bertie.

Under the threat of blackmail, Bertie must steal back the cow creamer from under the nose of Sir Watkyn, while attempting to avoid becoming entangled in the all-out war of attrition raging between Sir Watkyn’s niece Stiffy Byng and local flatfoot Constable Oates, the latter being the target of an ex-

Picturing Sheffield Millenium Gallery

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he exhibition Picturing Sheffield presents an eclectic range of perspectives of our city, using a wide range of mediums, including watercolour, oil painting, photography, and even animation.

On the one hand, we see whimsical Victorian landscapes,

tended campaign of hate by Stiffy’s Scottish terrier Bartholomew.

Factor in the presence of Roderick Spode, a fearsome amateur dictator who would like nothing better than to beat our Bertram into a ‘jelly’, and Bertie’s problems are of such complexity and magnitude that even the master brain of his faithful ‘Gentleman’s Personal Gentleman’ Jeeves will be tested to the utmost in attempting to extricate him.

Jeeves and Wooster lives up to its title and, remarkably, contains a cast of only three. Robert Webb plays Bertie Wooster, who feels compelled to stage his ordeals at Totleigh Towers for a West End (now provincial) audience.

He ropes in Jeeves (Jason Thorpe) and Seppings (Christopher Ryan), his aunt’s elderly, theatrical butler to play all the other parts, a device which transforms an already chaotic plot into a spectacle of pure unadulterated pandemonium as Jeeves and Seppings combat the obvious impracticalities of their situation with a series of ingenious theatrical solutions.

Webb manages to maintain the balance between lovability, gorm-

lessness, and mental negligibility that is pre-requisite of a good Bertie Wooster, obliviously gliding through the scenes as Jeeves and Seppings struggle to keep the wheels turning in a blisteringly chameleonic performance from Thorpe and particularly Ryan, who you may know as ‘Mike the Cool Person’ from The Young Ones.

This ensures that Jeeves and Wooster isn’t merely a straightforward adaptation of the source material, and it retains the essence of P. G. Wodehouse’s indisputable comic genius. I have no doubt that if Jeeves were transplanted into the capacity of reviewer, his verdict would be a simple but sincere: “Very good Sir”.

Chris Smith

where Sheffield is depicted as an idealised, rural bliss with sweeping lawns and quaint cottages, which belie the dreary life of labour most citizens would have endured at the time. These contrast starkly with the more modern exhibitions, which uncompromisingly show the inevitable consequences of industry; repressive, polluting wastelands with skylines dominated by skeleton outlines of the steelworks.

Spiralling plumes of smog bloom across many canvases, casting the streets below in a noxious haze.

There are many less oppressive works, however, where it is clear the artist has a real affection for the streets and buildings in the scene. The predominant theme of buildings can be a bit monotonous but the exhibition also incorporates

a personal element and some more unusual perspectives.

An example is ‘Tram Ride with the Norfolk Picture Palace’ by James Morrison Townley, which beautifully captures the motion of a journey into town. There are also haunting scenes showing where town buildings were reduced to wreckage during the bombing raids of the Blitz.

Other artwork explores the social consequences of the Kelvin flats demolition and there is also a case dedicated to memorabilia from the various political rallies that have cemented Sheffield’s reputation as a hotspot for radical activities.

Meanwhile, in Anthony Wine’s massive and vivid ‘Pond Street Bus Station’, the playful distortion of colour and perspective makes this scene seem new and familiar at the same time.

With nature and industry so closely juxtaposed, this exhibition refines Sheffield’s reputation of being a city made up of several villages and gives some insight into what makes living here such a unique experience.

It is certainly worth popping in for a look, though perhaps the real value of this exhibition is that it gives an incentive to look at even the ordinary features of our city in a new and appreciative light.

Follow us on Twitter @ForgePressArts More reviews online Read more reviews online at Forge Today

Caroline Wood

BOOK CORNER Citizen - AN American Lyric Claudia Rankine

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laudia Rankine’s Citizen: An American Lyric manages to be both a striking social commentary and a deeply emotional personal account at the same time.

Her poems about the experiences of black people in a white-dominated society are accusatory and guilt-inducing and yet there still runs through this book some sense of hope. This is not a sorrowful reflection on the past, but an angry imploration to do something about the present.

A lot of the poetry is written in the second person. At first this is confusing. With no clear titles to distinguish one piece of writing from the next, it is hard to know if the “you” being referred to on one page is the same “you” as on the next page.

Gradually though, this ambiguity becomes one of the most effective elements of the book. It shows how racism affects so many people in different scenarios, but the use of “you” every time allows the reader to relate to the experience of one person going through all of this. You have a unique position from which to view the events in these poems, one where you can be both the victim and the witness.

And indeed the most unsettling passages are those with a feeling of familiarity about them. Rankine highlights the currents of racism running through everyday conver-

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sations in modern-day America which might go unnoticed by us in our own lives. She forces us to think carefully about our roles as citizens and what we expect of ourselves.

Rankine’s prose poems read like a series of beautifully worded case studies. Her references to real people and events, like Serena Williams and Trayvon Martin, make the poems feel like articles in one very long, honest newspaper – one which tells the stories from inside people’s heads. At times however, the consistency of the writing causes the book to feel rather relentless, making it difficult to read too much in one go.

This is a totally different experience to reading something like To Kill a Mockingbird. The impact doesn’t come from metaphors and imagery, woven together to create moments of realisation. The impact here comes from the intense realness of her writing.

Joanna Booth

Friday March 6 2015

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Fuse.Albums. music Fuse imagine dragons Smoke and Mirrors

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rom four-piece Imagine Dragons, whose exquisite mix of rock and whimsical instrumentals garnered them global success, comes the second studio album, Smoke and Mirrors.

Instantly noticeable is the difference in tone; Night Visions was energetic and at points ecstatic, whereas Smoke and Mirrors is expansive, sincere, and worldly.

The energy remains, but the sunny, psychedelic instrumentals are replaced with stronger rock accompaniments and soulful lyricism, giving the album a more progressive, mature feel.

With this maturity, however, comes a sense that the naive emotion freely instilled into the first al-

BADBADNOTGOOD AND GHOSTFACE KILLAH Sour Soul

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oronto jazz trio BADBADNOTGOOD break hallowed ground on this collaboration with rap veteran Ghostface Killah.

The interplay between Ghostface’s assured flow and BBNG’s instrumentation is seamless, but this suggests excessive deference to the Wu-Tang star. Little remains of the band’s early experimental vigour, though the casual confidence of the soul-leaning cuts is impeccably measured.

The tone is set on opener Mono, where BBNG suit up in sessionmusician mode, making clear their intention to steer away from the rowdy mix of off-kilter covers and improvisation which characterised previous releases.

When Ghostface enters on the sec-

bum is more carefully controlled.

This time around there’s more focus on experimentation with the signature sound, particularly in ‘Friction’ and ‘Gold’, and while the highly-stylised sound that helped rocket Night Visions to international success remains, it is overlaid with synth electronics in some songs, and re-worked into a darker more thunderous sound in others.

One of the few laments of Smoke and Mirrors is the loss of steel drums and other eclectic backing instrumentals that gave the first album an international and uplifting sound. Despite this though, it epitomises ‘unique’ in only a way that Imagine Dragons can.

‘Warriors’ blazes through the other tracks with its thrumming base and rich tones, easily taking top spot as the best of the new material.

Another contender for the al-

bum’s powerhouse anthem, ‘I Bet My Life’ oscillates between thoughtful and rapturous by experimenting with volume and prechorus pauses.

Although far more of a slowburner than the previous album, taking a few listens before track diversity begins to break through, Smoke and Mirrors is another effortless triumph from Imagine Dragons, overflowing with talent and profundity.

If, like me, you missed out on tour tickets, you’ll have to content yourself with absorbing every note of the new album. And, after several hours on repeat, content you will be.

Kate Lovatt

ond track, the trio offer up gracious room for him to manoeuvre in.

But this live-band effort is not truly adventurous territory for Ghostface. Stylistically he is no revelation; the relentless spitting that forged diehard fans on Wu-Tang and early solo records remains toned down.

Album highlight ‘Six Degrees’ injects zeitgeist credibility with the arrival of Danny Brown. Here Ghostface sounds fired up by the pressure of sharing the mic, and Brown delivers a sharp if cooperative serving of Detroit wisdom.

On Gunshowers, Ghostface is at the height of bravado. Considering the comfort zone he inhabits on this album, it would be generous to concede “I bust boundaries son, you just do what you taught”.

At least this insult cannot be levelled at track guest Elzhi, whose sinuous street fable fleshes out the space in between Ghostface’s boasts.

Third guest Tree’s mellow, husky

voice opens ‘Street Knowledge’ fluently, but ultimately these lyrical tourists are paving way for MF Doom’s appearance on ‘Ray Gun’.

Retro string sections add drama to this staged square-off between two heavyweights.

All told, it’s the guests who raise the temperature of the narrative above its lukewarm default, demanding attention with their boisterous energy (Brown) or sultry nonchalance (Tree).

Production-wise, this is the natural progression of BBNG’s sound, blending jazz-school credentials with hip-hop smarts.

They revel in it: the segue from staccato bounce to expansive groove in the coda of ‘Six Degrees’; the desert vibe of ‘Gunshowers’.

Nevertheless, restraint is the adage here, and the question remains as to what less inhibition might reveal.

Hazel Ryan

NOEL GALLAGHER’S HIGH FLYING BIRDS Chasing Yesterday

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ompared to the other Gallagher brother, who’s own post-Oasis attempt Beady Eye seems to have faded into relative obscurity, you have to hand it to Noel Gallagher – the man knows how to write a fail-safe tune.

And while Chasing Yesterday, the second album from Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds isn’t about to pioneer the way for a new movement in British rock, it’s a pleasant surprise to those who would have dismissed him as having had his day to be presented with an album full of well crafted examples of Gallagher’s songwriting prowess.

Admittedly, such cynics are about to have a field day when presented with the albums opener ‘Riverman’, sounding just a bit too like ‘Wonderwall’ with its opening acoustic riff to provide a convincing start to Chasing Yesterday. But, it’s not always the beginning that counts, and Gallagher soon proves this, moving onto sturdier ground with ‘In The Heat Of The Moment’. Then, comes the albums’ real gem, and soon we are reminded of exactly why Oasis shook us like they did – ‘Lock All The Doors’ is vintage Gallagher; melancholy and uplifting in equal measure. Its better than anything on the last two Oasis albums, a rare piece of steaming guitar nostalgia. Elsewhere, Chasing Yesterday becomes slightly more progressive – ‘The Right Stuff’ is a delightful piece of gentle

psychedelia.

Chasing Yesterday sees Noel Gallagher chasing familiar ground, but it’s ground that we’ve all come to know and love. It’s credit to Gallagher’s musical skill that he still has the ability to (in the same ilk as an artist like Paul Weller) make his signature sound still appealing, and dare I say it, still relevant. And given the albums title, Gallagher seems very aware of it.

Rachel Bell

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Friday March 6 2015

THE CRIBS Leadmill February 22

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ore than 10 years after the release of their first album, the Cribs continue to maintain the same sort of excitement and relevancy they created with their debut.

There is a feeling of adoration in the crowd tonight, and as they take to the Leadmill stage, it soon becomes apparent why.

Kicking off the set with old favourite ‘Mirror Kisses’ proves a popular choice, and sends the audience into a screaming, jumping frenzy.

“We’re the Cribs from Wakefield!” Ryan shouts once the triumphant opener comes to an end, “Are you guys ready to rock?!”

liveFusemusic.

Gigs.

Pretty soon we are introduced to a handful of tracks from their upcoming album For All My Sisters.

Although playing new material at gigs is usually met with a subdued reaction, there is no such response here. New singles ‘An Ivory Hand’ and ‘Burning for No one’ are already popular, with the crowd singing along word perfect.

The Jarman brother’s notorious clashing vocals and screeching guitar parts create a thick sound that fills the venue, adding to the ecstatic atmosphere. A stripped back version of ‘It Was Only Love’ is a particular highlight, with audience members waving lighters in the air and singing louder than the Cribs themselves.

Despite the gig and tour seemingly a platform for their new material, the gig comes to an end with

a trio of old fan favourites ‘Hey Scenesters’ ‘Mens Needs’ and ‘City of Bugs.’ The Cribs thrash out the tracks and bring the gig to a climactic end. “Thank you and goodnight!” the brothers grin as they leave the stage.

Their gritty and refreshing take on indie music is sure to uphold the band’s popularity -a successful mix of old and new music tonight proves that. There are certainly no hints this loyal adoration will end anytime soon.

Josie Kirk

Follow us on Twitter @ForgePressMusic

Photography - Flickr

THE SCRIPT Motorpoint Arena February 28

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o a music devotee, nothing can beat the electricity convoking in a crowd of over 13,000 just before an arena concert kicks off. Waiting for The Script at Motorpoint Arena was no different.

For a band with a success rate as high as the Script’s, it would be too artless to just simply stride onto the stage inconspicuously.

They are a massive band, and so their entrance matched up.

The boys marched through the crowd without warning, armed with luminous green beacons and blasting ‘Paint The Town Green’.

The band then stormed through their various hits such as ‘Breakeven’, ‘Before The Worst’ and ‘If You Could See Me Now’, each one sounding stronger than the previous.

Audience participation played a massive part in ensuring the concert was a huge success, with front man Danny O’Donoghue charming the

crowd with conversation between tracks.

During the break up anthem ‘Nothing’, Danny asked for a member of the audience who had broken up with their partner. Once he had located one, he asked for their phone and proceeded to call the ex and have the entire crowd sing the lyrics “(Dialed her number and confessed to her/I’m still in love/But all I heard was nothing)”.

The energy at the concert peaked when the band performed their colossal hit ‘The Man Who Can’t Be Moved’ on a smaller stage in the middle of the crowd. The dedicated audience’s enthusiasm didn’t waver once, and they continued to sing the well-known lyrics at the top of their voices throughout.

It was heartbreaking that the concert ever had to end. The Script are well deserved of their constant place in the UK charts and will no doubt continue to strive in the music industry.

Lauren Middleton

Photography: Hugh Francis

SLAVES Leadmill February 19

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ent-based two-piece garage punk band, Slaves, are part of this year’s NME Tour, along with ‘Palma Violets’ and ‘Fat White Family’.

The first stop on this tour was Sheffield - the Leadmill, at which, all three bands set the bar pretty high for themselves and their 10 successive tour performances.

The ‘Slaves’ duo consists of Laurie Vincent: guitar and vocals, and Isaac Holman: drums and vocals.

The pair started making music together in 2012 and signed to Virgin EMI early last year.

Big things have happened since then, as they were nominated for BBC Sound of 2015, have appeared on ‘Later… with Jools Holland’ and Zane Lowe recently named their track, ‘Feed The Mantaray’, as one of his ‘Hottest Records in The World’.

As the first act on the first night of the tour, ‘Slaves’ kicked things off pretty well, immediately grabbing the audience’s atten-

Photography: Chris Chadwick

tion - partly due to the surprising amount of noise that just the two of them can create.

They got the night off to a big start with their track, ‘White Knuckle Ride’, which the audience responded to in an energetic, ecstatic way more fitting for the middle of the night, showing that ‘Slaves’ are by no means a warmup act.

They performed with ease and attitude - their set was entertaining to watch, especially due to the skilful multi-tasking of the drummer and vocalist, Isaac, who sang, whilst standing drumming and thrashing his body to the music.

One of the highlights of their set came part-way through, when they played their single, ’Feed The Mantaray’, which will also be on their album Are You Satisfied?, released later this year.

The crowd shouted the refrain, ‘feed the mantaray’ in unison, and a guy in a shiny mantaray costume danced around wildly onstage, which, needless to say, must have been a bit bewildering to anyone that walked in late.

They brought their set to a close

with, their incredibly catchy singles ‘The Hunter’, and ‘Hey’, both released late last year, and both of which will be on their up-coming album.

Both of these tracks, like a majority of their other tracks, are under three minutes long, and thus their entertaining performances of them seemed to end just too soon for their eager, energetic audience who were having a noticeably great time throughout.

They ended with the heavier, faster-paced, ‘Hey’, during which, drummer, Isaac, crowd-surfed and things ended as wild as they began.

Charlotte Pick

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Friday March 6 2015

14

Fuse Screen.

Fuse. screen the boy next door Dir: Rob Cohen

B

etween the clichéd dialogue and horrendous acting, the audience is left with very little to take away from Rob Cohen’s psychological thriller, The Boy Next Door.

The film stars Jennifer Lopez as the protagonist, Claire Peterson, a Classics high school teacher who has separated from her cheating husband, but is hesitant to sign the divorce papers for the sake of her teenage son Kevin (Ian Nelson).

The way in which her next door neighbour, Noah (Ryan Guzman) is introduced leaves little speculation as to which direction the film will take. The close ups of his biceps combined with his unsettling interest in her subject matter means that it is no surprise when the two end up spending the night together.

It is almost as if the director ex-

pects the audience to be prepared for Noah’s almost 180 degree change in personality as he goes from well-educated hunk to psychotic stalker in a matter of a few scenes.

“Horrendous” There is no well planned build-up, no inconspicuous hints that attentive viewers can pick up upon, it simply dives head first into what seems like an entirely different movie in terms of genre, which makes the movie difficult to keep up with.

Lopez isn’t given very much to work with when it comes to the script, but she genuinely didn’t seem to try all that hard as she grunted and groaned her way through a sizeable part of the film.

It is also difficult to understand the thought process that went into the casting of Guzman as a teenager, when he looks (and is) nearly 30 years old. Kristin Chenoweth

plays her role as Claire’s best friend relatively well, but fails to convince as the vice-principal of the high school at which Claire works.

Aside from the unnecessarily gory scenes towards the end of the movie, there is some sort of hint at what Cohen may have been trying to achieve, but unfortunately the film never really develops a proper flow.

It’s very much a case of the audience thinking ‘well that escalated quickly’ throughout the movie, as scenes are arranged one after the other with little more than a basic storyline to follow.

The film is - to use a line so cliché it may as well be part of the script - so bad it’s good. It is unrealistic in the extreme, and viewers expecting anything more than a laugh will be far better served staying at home instead of making the trip to the cinema.

Sheena Sidhu

SMALL SCREEN House of cards: Season 3, Episode 1 Dir: John David Coles

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his show is all about surface appearances - its characters layer themselves in artifice to zero in on their goals.

The great flaw of House of Cards is that this motif extends into the story itself - more apparent in this season premiere than ever as the cracks start to show on the dazzling, distracting top layer.

Kevin Spacey’s infamously, deliciously despicable Frank Underwood, having finally taken his coveted presidential seat, addresses the notion of surfaces directly in a piercing soliloquy over his father’s grave, bemoaning the need to seem “a little human”

CULT CORNER WR: Mysteries of the Organism 1971

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ušan Makavejev’s WR: Mysteries of the Organism is one of the best known and most successful products of the Yugoslav Black Wave – a movement beginning during the 1960s, characterised by darkly humorous criticism of a repressive socialist regime, and the celebration of individual freedom.

The Black Wave championed innovative and experimental cinematography, which is typified by Makavejev’s abstract, ‘cinematic collage’ approach to filmmaking.

At its core, Mysteries of the Organism juxtaposes several

loosely related narratives, pertaining primarily to sexuality, politics and the intersection thereof.

The titular ‘WR’ refers to Wilhelm Reich, controversial psychoanalyst turned communist, whom the film explores through a combination of archival footage and interviews with relatives. With a somewhat facetious tone, the viewer is introduced to the Reichian notion that individual and societal neuroses may be remedied by sexual liberation.

This pseudo-documentary is interwoven with scenes of Stalinist propaganda, New York counterculture and most prominently a love affair between radical Yugoslav proletarian Milena and sexually repressed Soviet ice-skater Vladimir.

The net effect is a kind of cinematic ‘melting pot’, perhaps best described by Makavejev himself: he described his film as being like a mirror, in that “people hold it up to

themselves and see reflected only what they are offended by”. It is perhaps worth mentioning at this point that the film was banned immediately upon release, and was instrumental to the filmmaker’s sixteen-year exile from his homeland.

However, the film is not a scathing critique of any particular political ideology, but rather an exploration of what happens when such ideologies become tarnished and corrupted.

WR: Mysteries of the Organism is an intricate and singular cinematic feat, challenging in content and experimental in form, yet never anything less than captivating. Makavejev’s instinctive curiosity about the human psyche lends an enduring universality to the film, leading to its success far beyond the social and historical context of its conception.

Tim Metcalfe

as president.

In this episode, Frank’s left-fordead former Chief of Staff Doug Stamper recovers from last season’s brutal beating in the woods.

He hides his suffering and deterioration under a veil of recovery, succumbing to his addictive demons - first painkillers, then bourbon and prostitutes - all while professing wellness to his doctor and former colleagues.

In his desperation to get back into Frank’s inner circle, Doug foregoes calling 911 after breaking his arm to make it to an appointment with the new President.

Following Doug, and thus looking at Frank’s presidency from an external perspective, is an intriguing choice. It says something about Frank’s growing inhumanity and distance - but this superficial gimmick is supported by little more than Doug’s rote recovery/ addiction arc, hitting every clichéd

beat in the book.

Meanwhile, the core duo - Frank and Robin Wright as ice queen First Lady Claire - find themselves caught in disengaging yarns. The focus is on the slow burn here, with Frank trying to put together a new employment scheme and Claire setting her sights on a seat in the UN. This first episode does little more than tell us what is due to happen.

The surface traits viewers know and love are there - stylish visuals, slick dialogue, provoking allegories - but they’re not driving anything.

Perhaps it’s saying something about the daily grind of presidential duty, but everything is moving at a snail’s pace.

Maybe all will snap into place down the line, but for now Cards appears to be all style with no substance to move it forward.

Rhys Handley

Friday March 6 2015

15 Aaron (Connor McCarron) to come and join her.

The couple are, for one brief moment, completely free of their fears and inhibitions. However, the scene is continuously interrupted by Laila’s pursuers, as they draw ever nearer.

about Catch Me Daddy is its setting: the great county of Yorkshire. This makes a refreshing change from previous British realist films like Fish Tank, set in the sprawling metropolis of London.

Robbie Ryan’s dynamic camerawork captures the visceral landscapes of Yorkshire, vividly contrasting the natural beauty of the Moors with the less appealing backstreets of Halifax, Todmorden and Hebden Bridge.

This is perfectly accompanied by the amazingly simplistic score

by Daniel Thomas Freeman and Matthew Watson, which complements the setting effortlessly. The most memorable foray into to deepest darkest Yorkshire is the incredibly tense scene filmed in a Halifax night club ingeniously called Acapulco - which will more than likely not be receiving an influx of visitors anytime soon.

What really makes this film outstanding is newcomer S a m e e n a Jabeen Ahmed’s perfor mance as a British Pakistani girl on the run from

her oppressive father. Throughout the film, Ahmed perfectly inhabits the character of Laila, a scared and confused girl who is slowly running out of options.

Her emotions are real and raw, meaning certain scenes are particularly uncomfortable. You feel that this is really happening, that the events of the film are indistinguishable from real life.

This is why Catch Me Daddy is so painful to watch because while it is not explicitly taken from true events, Laila’s story is based upon the very real practice of honour killing.

This is explored through the decision by the Wolfe brothers not to restrict the film, or to conform to a single racial and cultural stereotype.

Instead they explore not only the view point of the British Pakistani community who are pursuing Laila, but also through the two hired men who are involved purely for the money.

While Catch Me Daddy is a distressing film to watch, there is one particularly beautiful scene where Ahmed is frantically dancing alone, which encourages her boyfriend

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fashioned grace and elegance.

Maggie Smith is extraordinary, funny, witty, brave, and tenacious.

A downstairs version of Lady Violet in short.

“He wasn’t even born in India”, my friend from New Delhi told me after the movie. Apparently Dev Patel doesn’t speak Hindi at all, but you don’t notice that.

As Sonny, he’s great, funny in his being so clumsy and devoted to his project. He’s a young dreamer and everyone loves dreamers. And guys, he can really dance – but we already know that from Slumdog Millionaire.

The writing sparkles with some particularly good lines. Some dialogue between Smith and Patel is hilarious, making viewers laugh from the heart.

While the colourful sights will amaze you, the beauty of India is captured thanks to stunning cinematography.

Despite being an enjoyable movie, The Second Best Exotic

Marigold Hotel shows a too-idyllic picture of aging. It’s not all about being alone and feeling useless, that’s for sure, and the film still has a very positive moral about how life doesn’t end with retirement - but no one, aside from Smith’s slightly outlined health problem and Nighy’s memory problem, seems to have any health problems at all. In short: the characters lack some credibility in parts.

However, thanks to high quality cast and a beautiful country, a simple story becomes an enjoyable comedy about positive thinking in life, although it’s a far cry from Silver Linings Playbook.

catch me daddy Dir: Daniel Wolfe

A

visually beautiful but emotionally traumatic film, Catch Me Daddy is bound to leave you both physically and mentally exhausted and probably craving a hug, not to mention a Black Forest gateau.

This is the first full-length film from director Daniel Wolfe, who co-wrote the film with his brother Matthew Wolfe.

“Robbie Ryan’s dynamic camerawork captures the visceral landscapes of Yorkshire” As far as debut films go, Catch Me Daddy is incredible in its startling originality, both in terms of script and cinematography, and also in its devastating modernity.

What is particularly exciting

white god

A

the second best exotic marigold hotel Dir: John Madden

I

f you’re tired of the post-awards season debate or you want to forget that your favourite movie of the year didn’t win, you should watch The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel: a comedy with a brilliant cast, sequel to the 2011 The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.

Almost a year after the first guests arrived, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel for the Elderly & Beautiful is going pretty well. Most of the rooms are occupied, none of our beloved characters have died yet, plus Sonny (Dev Patel) and Sunaina (Tena Desae) are getting married. Given the success of the hotel, Sonny and Muriel (Maggie Smith) are looking for some funds to expand his business. When hotel inspector Guy Chambers (Richard Gere) comes to stay, Sonny tries

“A solid picture with original ideas”

everything to convince him to fund his project.

Anyone who wants to do a sequel should watch this movie. It has those few good features that distinguish a successful one. It remains engaging d e s p i t e the familiar characters.

Meanwhile, the arrival of Richard Gere - still charming at 65 years old - refreshes the movie without changing its concept entirely.

Speaking of Gere,

the cast is amazing: Bill Nighy is adorably clumsy and has a good chemistry with Judi Dench, who’s always enchanting, with an old-

“A simple story becomes an enjoyable comedy”

“What really makes this film outstanding is newcomer Sameena Jabeen Ahmed’s performance” We enjoy the scene and relish in Laila and Aaron’s fleeting moment of bliss, but we know it is short lived as the camera keeps the door in focus and we are forced to wait for the inevitable onset of tragedy.

Ashleigh Howard

Luke Hedges

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Valeria Vigilante

Fuse Listings.

Photo: Joshua Hackett

All the events in Sheffield that you don’t want to miss in the next fortnight.

Screen.

Games.

311 + Q&A (March 15, the Showroom Cinema, 6pm) Acclaimed Japanese filmmaker Mori Tatsuya comes to Sheffield to present his eye-opening documentary 311. Tatsuya and a small group of filmmakers travelled from Tokyo to the Tohoku region of Japan just two weeks after the devastating earthquakes of 2011 and amid the ongoing crisis in the Fukushima nuclear reactor. Followed by a Q&A with Tatsuya and Dr Mark Pendleton of the University’s School of East Asian Studies.

Bafta Shorts 2015 (March 18, the Showroom Cinema, 5:15pm) A feature-length selection of the live-action and animated short films nominated for this year’s EE Bafta Awards.

Showroom Shorts (March 17, the Showroom Cinema, 8:45pm) A free evening of short films from the local, national and international filmmaking communities.

Come to the Showroom Café and meet the filmmakers, and buy a £1 raffle ticket for a chance to see films at the Showroom for free.

Coming soon to the University of Sheffield’s independent cinema...

Friday March 6: The Swimmer Saturday March 7: Unbroken Sunday March 8: Big Eyes Friday March 13: Citizenfour Saturday March 14: Birdman (or: The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) Sunday March 15: Into the Woods For more info on future releases or to volunteer go to filmunit.org.uk

Game Releases March 6 Zombie Army Trilogy (PC, PS4, Xbox One) March 10 Cities: Skylines (PC) DmC: Definitive Edition (PS4, Xbox One) Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number (PC, PS4) Mushroom Men: Truffle Trouble (PC) March 11 Ori and the Blind Forest (PC, Xbox One) March 12 Sid Meier’s Starships (PC) March 17 Battlefield Hardline (PC, PS4, Xbox One) Woolfe: The Red Hood Diaries (PC, PS4, Xbox One)

Tickets: £2.50 each

Arts.

Music.

An Evening of Public Shaming with Jon Ronson (March 11, the Showroom Cinema, 8pm) Have you ever made a joke on Twitter that accidently came out wrong and as a consequence you have been torn apart by a crazy mob? Have you ever been part of a crazy mob tearing someone apart for telling a joke on Twitter that came out wrong? To coincide with the publication of his new book So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed, author Jon Ronson talks about his experiences with three people who’ve faced abuse from the general public.

National Theatre Live: Behind the Beautiful Forevers (March 12, the Showroom Cinema, 7pm) Adapted by David Hare from the novel by Pulitzer-winning author Katherine Boo, Behind the Beautiful Forevers tells the story of the inhabitants of a slum just a stone’s throw from the luxury hotels of Mumbai.

Playing for Time (March 12 - April 4, the Crucible) Arthur Miller’s play based on a memoir by Holocaust survivor Fania Fénelon comes to Sheffield to mark 70 years since the liberation of Auschwitz and 100 years since Miller’s birth . A pianist and singer recruited by the Nazis to play music to the interns of Auschwitz, Fénelon’s story is a life-affirming account of how human beings cope in the face of unimaginable horror.

Northern Ballet’s Wuthering Heights (March 18-21, the Lyceum) Immerse yourself in Cathy and Heathcliff’s turbulent love affair as the ‘best dance actors in the World’ capture the spirit of Wuthering Heights and the untamed beauty of the Yorkshire moors.

Emily Bronte’s romantic masterpiece is performed to live music by Golden Globe and Academy Award nominated Claude-Michel Schönberg (Les Misérables, Miss Saigon & Northern Ballet’s Cleopatra) with choreography by David Nixon OBE.

Live Gigs Secret Romance - 6/3, O2 Academy Spandau Ballet - 6/3, Motorpoint Arena Room 94 - 7/3, Banana Hill - 7/3, the Harley The Qemists - 7/3, Corporation Sunset Sons - 9/3, the Leadmill Placebo - 13/3, O2 Academy CHIP - 13/3, Plug Hitomi - 13/3, Corporation New York Brass Band - 13/3, the Harley

Carpe Diem - 13/3, the Leadmill Lateral Vision - 14/3, O2 Academy Aaron Keylock - 14/3, Corporation Judge Jules - 14/3, Plug Nervana - 15/3, the Leadmill Usher - 15/3, Motorpoint Arena Tragedy - 16/3, Corporation Kiran Leonard - 16/3, the Harley Hang the Bastard - 18/3, Corporation Thrillhouse - 19/3, the Harley

Album Releases March 9 Cancer Bats - Searching for Zero Cold War Kids - Hold My Home Dick Diver - Melbourne, Florida Evans the Death - Expect Delays Fyfe - Control JEFF the Brotherhood - Wasted on a Dream Heems - Eat Pray Thug Laura Welsh - Soft Control Lowell - We Loved Her Dearly Matthew E. White - Fresh Blood Will Butler - Policy Young Guv - Ripe 4 Luv

March 16 Bad Guys - Bad Gynaecology Beach Beach - The Sea Inventions - Maze of Woods Modest Mouse - Strangers to Ourselves Nic Hessler - Soft Connections Simon Joyner - Grass, Branch and Bone Tobias Jesso Jr. - Goon Twin Shadow - Eclipse Wet Blankets - The Rise of the Wet Blankets

Life at the University of Sheffield is about so much more than lectures and seminars. Which is why the Union created the Give it a Go programme; an easy way to try everything from archery to chocolate tasting. Joining an event couldn’t be easier. Once you pick an event you like, buy a ticket from the Union Box Office (or online at sheffieldsu.com/events), then turn up on the day! Be prepared to try something new and make friends! Oh, and don’t forget to bring a bottle of water.

Hadrian’s Wall Bar One Sunday March 8 7:30am £30 Visit Houststeads Fort, the best-surviving part of this ancient Roman wall, before exploring the nearby city of Carlisle.

Discover Islam SU Welcome Desk Wednesday March 11 9:30am FREE Join us for a guided tour of the Sheffield Islamic Centre and learn about a faith practiced by 1.5 billion people all over the world. You’ll also have the chance to explore Sheffield’s biggest mosque.

Easter Egg Hunt Western Park Saturday March 14 2pm £2 The Lemon Fresh Society invites you to join them for an egg-cellent day of hunting for delicious chocolate eggs. Sorry, we’ll stop yolking around - these egg puns are just awful.

Survival Night 2015 N 53° 28, W 1° 27’ Tuesday March 17 8pm Tickets £13* Join Sheffield RAG on an adventure into the unknown, and attempt to discover the fate of last year’s missing Survival Night team... *Minimum sponsorship £30

Hoop Fitness No. 66 Wednesday March 18 4pm £3.50 It’s been scientifically proven that hula hoops (the plastic loops, not the crisps) make everything about 500 per cent more awesome, including exercise. Come along to No. 66 and learn some skills!