FUSE Issue 29

Fuse.

Gay Icons Project / Melanie Coombs / The Worst Games Ever

Short Fuse.

Fuse.

Friday November 19 2010

Is there no escape from Cheryl Cole?

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Having been a closet X Factor fan for a number of years, I suffer as much as anyone from this horrific over-exposure to ‘the nation’s sweetheart’, Cheryl Cole.

The Geordie pin-up is hailed as an ambassador of British culture, and with that knowledge I’m strongly considering packing my bags and burying myself under the surface of Mars for a few years.

Where, oh where can I begin? Firstly there’s the audacity this woman has of telling people they can’t sing as she prances around in a dominatrix outfit lip-syncing the most horrendous songs this side of ‘Agadoo’.

With a voice as pleasant and dynamic as an absinthe hangover, the pretty face of Girls Aloud has proven all cynics to be correct in that our nation genuinely doesn’t give a flying shit about music, as long as the singer looks good and advertises conditioner.

Then there’s all the incessant whingeing she

does to every conceivable media outlet about how hard it is to live in her £4million Berkshire mansion and be fed grapes all day, alongside her pet Siberian tigers. Oh my heart bleeds, Cheryl.

What about Ashley Cole? If our finest left-back is such a cheating love-rat whom she wants to denounce forever, then why has she opted to keep his name?

Poor little Cheryl was so heartbroken, yet she has no qualms about living with the guy’s name attached to her until the end of time.

Apparently Cheryl Cole is a brand more valuable than dignity.

Sure, the poor girl had malaria, but that is irrelevant. If Alex Zane contracted SARS, he’d still be a twat.

I’m fairly sure that the bathroom attendant, whom Cheryl Cole labelled a ‘Caribbean jigaboo’ then hospitalised, isn’t such a fan of our little Geordie flower, and neither am I. Tom Fletcher

WHAT MAKES A TRUE FILM GENIUS? Genius is a word used all too often when it comes to film.

Everyone would probably agree there aren’t many around, but handing out praise without real thought is rife.

Actors, artists and directors generally tend to go through phases - if you take anybody who started out promisingly, or even spectacularly, and scroll through their body of work to date, there are one, or maybe two things that make you raise an eyebrow and shake your head.

In the world of film this is probably easier to see with actors rather than directors.

To be fair to actors, a lot of the time they do the best with what they are given, but some appear to be completely shameless.

No one would call Christian Bale a genius – American Psycho was a great start for him as a fully fledged actor, and his Batman roles have afforded him massive cult acclaim.

But one look at Terminator Salvation and bang goes all the hard work.

The issue is the same with directors, yet not as forthcoming.

Some would hail the Coen Brothers (pictured) as geniuses, and when you take into account works like No Country For Old Men (which is still for my money the best film of the last five years, but then again I haven’t seen Inception yet) it is hard to disagree.

But if anyone represents the ‘phases’ model best, it’s probably Joel and Ethan Coen. They seem to lurch from gritty and tense films to stupid, too weird for their own good movies, like Burn After Reading, and The Big Lebowski, which I don’t mind saying, I just didn’t get.

Maybe I am just way too

There’s no such thing as alternative

uptight, but in a climate where everyone is quick to say something or someone is amazing without truly scrutinising what they are talking about, undermines the true geniuses around that actually haven’t ever done anything bad.

So far, I can only think

of three operating at the moment: Clint Eastwood as a director, Christopher Nolan, whose back catalogue is absolutely exceptional (due largely to having such a big hand in everything he does from script right through to production) and Matt Damon, who is brilliant

in everything he has ever done.

But having said that, he was in Ocean’s Twelve. And I don’t think I can forgive him that.

If there is something that irritates me more than anything else at the moment it’s the use of the word ‘quirky’ to describe oneself.

Just because it’s something slightly different to the norm does not automatically make it ‘quirky’. I’ll start by listing the synonyms: idiosyncratic, original, individual, unusual, peculiar, odd, strange, eccentric, unpredictable, and that’s where the Microsoft Word thesaurus ends.

The amount of ‘quirky’ people on X Factor is relentlessly repeated. It’s so blatant they’re trying to cast away the shackles of ‘boringness’ after last year’s snubbing of Joe McElderry for Christmas number one with Rage Against the Machine making 2009 a peculiar dinner, with rap metal playing on Top of the Pops in the background.

It appears ‘quirky’ has become to people wanting to represent themselves as individual and ‘kooky’ what ‘bubbly’ is to annoying people.

It’s not just X Factor either. Society itself isn’t exempt from these kinds of people swarming across social networks. Many a time I’ve come across someone’s crazed profile declaring their individuality and eccentricity, to truly exhausting effect.

It’s all an overcompensation for their inherent lack of uniqueness; in fact it’s more of an overcompensation than a guy who buys a massive car to compensate for his tiny… sense of decorum.

Little do they realise they are in fact doing what they claim to hate; conforming.

Not for one minute am I saying it is right or wrong to conform to any kind of social

expectation, but to say such things as “fuck you I won’t do what you tell me,” when countless before you have blogged exactly the same thing, seems a bit rich. It is still conforming, just to the alternative culture.

Don’t get me wrong, I hate a lot of aspects of popular culture as much as the next person. It’s just that socalled alternative culture is just as much of a corporate driven machine – unless of course you do actually listen to a bands that are so obscure that they don’t even exist yet.

My advice is to let your personality do the talking rather than the pointless, arbitrary labels that you assign to yourself. Now then, where’s the latest copy of NME so I can find out what bands I should be listening to this week?

Charles Dennett

Eddie Watson

Short Fuse.

Q&A: Nick Griffiths A

uthor, wit and Doctor Who fanatic Nick Griffiths has released his latest novel, Looking For Mrs Dextrose exclusively to students, prior to its nationwide release in 2011.

Fuse finds out more about this unique marketing strategy, as Griffiths discusses his inspiration, his love/hate relationship with Queen, and his cat.

Why did you decide to release a student-only edition of Looking For Mrs Dextrose before it enters the mass market?

The book’s published by Legend Press, an indie publisher always looking to innovate. They aren’t tied in to the dinosaur ways of the old guard so are well placed to try something new.

The student-only idea came about after we noticed many of those who really loved the first book, In the Footsteps of Harrison Dextrose, were hovering around student age.

It’s word of mouth that’s crucial - building a buzz - so we dearly hope that students enjoy Mrs D and pass that on.

Do you think this is an idea other authors may want to copy?

I suppose it depends how successful this one is!

Why do you think your writing appeals to students?

My comedy influences are quite student-y: Withnail & I, Monty Python, The Mighty Boosh. Plus my writing style’s quite direct, unpurple and hopefully funny.

FUSE. Musings

Do you have any anecdotes from your time as a good few years too old to be playing secondary school students?

How will the writers deal with the challenge of getting two films’ worth of dialogue out of a single book?

Will Emma Watson have finally learned the art of acting, rather than simply pouting at the camera and making every line sound hugely condescending?

Fuse recommends that you let your curiosity get the better of you this fortnight, and go off and see the film for an answer to all these questions and more.

But for those of you tempted to invest in your very own Hedwig (to save on Royal Mail costs, perhaps) remember that a pet owl is for life, not just for Christmas.

When did your love for Doctor Who begin, and can you describe the extent of your obsession?

Aged four and two-thirds, in 1970, when I watched my first story, Spearhead from Space, with the original (and best) Autons and Jon Pertwee as the Doc. You have no idea how poor TV was back then - we only had three channels, for a start, and Val Doonican was considered cutting edge - so it was a lightning strike to the imagination to witness that stuff.

The extent of my obsession? I own a Tardis Play Tent.

Which of the various Doctors has been your favourite?

Tom Baker. As eccentric in his performance as he is in real life. Just wonderful.

But I’m also a major fan of Pertwee, David Tennant and Matt Smith.

What other authors should we be looking out for?

Into my twenties, I read only fiction. Since then, I’ve read almost exclusively nonfiction.

Maybe it’s a desire to continue learning, I don’t know. But I read an awful lot of travel non-fiction, especially anything set in snow, and find that more compelling than the madeup.

So I couldn’t really say, it’s not something I follow.

Fuse wonders...what it would be like if the real world was anything like Misfits.

The new series is off to a flying start, with horror film-style blood and guts, dead bodies being found in fridges, people being buried alive and accidental murders of probation workers.

Fuse finds the concept of shapeshifters particularly weird, as in a double of yourself going around doing

I can only recommend my favourite travel book: Hokkaido Highway Blues by Will Ferguson, in which he hitchhikes through Japan, following the cherry blossom (sakura.)

I’m re-reading it a third time, just now. The effortless brilliance of his prose never ceases to amaze me. My favourite fiction book is probably The Wasp Factory

by Iain Banks.

things of its own accord, without your knowledge.

How do you know who’s real and who’s not?

Despite this constant existential mind-fuckery, the show still appeals to the teenage market, with plenty of sex references, partying and condom-buying.

catalogue on to iTunes.

Well, their 13 studio albums are on there, it seems we may have to wait for the anthologies to make an appearance.

What will be the first song to reach number one in the sales chart? Will single tracks from The White Album make any sense out of context?

The surviving members of the band are apparently very happy to see their music finally available to the iPod generation (CD? What the hell is that, Grandad?)

“It’s fantastic to see the songs we originally released on vinyl receive as much love in the digital world as they did the first time around,” said Paul McCartney.

“I am particularly glad to no longer be asked when

Fuse is celebrating...the release of The Beatles’ back

Do you have any other books in the pipeline?

I could try either sequel.

There’s the third and final book in the Dextrose trilogy: Pilsbury Dextrose and the End of the World.

Or a sequel to my Doctor Who-based travel book, Who Goes There, in which I scoured England and Wales

seeking old show locations, which were more often than not, quarries.

What’s next for you?

Making my mind up re: the above. But first, I need to sort out the cat, who is currently clawing at my ankles, barking on about farmed cod.

Alexandra Rucki the Beatles are coming to iTunes,” said a relieved Ringo Starr.

Fuse does not think...that the latest royal wedding should be a front-page news story. We’re just not that interested, to be honest.

Especially when the latest additions to the Primavera Sound Festival line-up are much more exciting.

Fuse.

Fuse is intrigued to see...

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1.

Will it be any good? Will Daniel Radcliffe and co. manage to disguise the fact that they are now a

You have a degree in Electrical Engineering, which is a very different field to your current career.

Do you think a degree is essential for students these days, following recent reports in the media?

Personally, I don’t think so.

If you have a passion and a talent for something, that will be recognised - provided the work exists.

These are dangerous times in the field of journalism. But I would always suggest someone study for a degree, if only to keep their brain pumping and learning new things, while boozing - you’re a long time in work (ideally).

Incidentally, I loathed Electrical and Electronic Engineering. Three years, and I can barely wire a plug.

student?

It was a while back now (1985-87) and my memory’s shocking.

I do recall queueing overnight outside the old Wembley Stadium with some friends, so we could be first through the doors at Live Aid. I passed some of the time telling people how much I fucking hated Queen.

Watch the Live Aid DVD and you may spot me in the front row - Bowie t-shirt, stupid hat, doing all the actions and singing along delightedly to ‘Radio GaGa.’

Friday November 19 2010

Where do you get your inspiration from?

My primary aim is to make people laugh - that’s what inspires me.

Certain aspects of the lands my characters visit come from places I’ve been to, or those I’ve read about or seen on TV, but generally it’s a work of imagination: hours, days, weeks and months of straining my brain for something original.

How did you develop your writing style, and what is the process you normally go through when writing?

My writing career began on the now deceased music weekly, Sounds (a former rival of the NME, to put it into perspective) in 1989.

I’d had no formal training, just a love of words and music. You write something, it gets subbed, and you learn from what gets printed.

I tried too hard to make people laugh, and it took many years to develop a style that felt natural. Write, write, write - and still I have too much to learn.

The process is one of selfmotivation, which is often a problem. I have to have a deadline, or I’ll lie under my duvet reading Private Eye. Then I chain myself to my desk, open Word, check Facebook, Twitter, make some tea, check my emails, chat to the cat about sustainable fishing, go to the shops.

Finally, I’ll start writing at about 3pm, filled with selfloathing. But I always try to write 1,000 words a day, however long that takes.

That way, the book will get written.

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Interview.Chromeo.

fancy footwork

Chromeo’s P-Thugg talks advertising, European fortresses and the affordable rent in Montreal Words: Lizzie Palmer

C

anadian band Chromeo have been making waves around all four corners of the globe, with their danceable beats and catchy melodies.

Self-described as “the only successful Arab/Jewish partnership since the dawn of human culture,” P-Thugg and Dave 1 (real names Patrick Gemayel and David Macklovitch) are undeniably the new dawn of electrofunk, whatever that is.

most famous exports, but countless other bands and artists have been associated with the French-Canadian city, including The Unicorns, The Stills and the legendary Leonard Cohen to name but a few. Why has the place become such a musical Mecca?

“The scene in Montreal is the best, I don’t really know why. Maybe because the rent is pretty reasonable – artists can live here for fairly cheap, they don’t have to work in normal jobs very much. They can concentrate properly, and spend all their time on their music, or whatever their art is.”

“A lot of bands come out of here but they’re not from here originally, you know. We’ve always lived here. I guess it’s a lot like New York in the late ’70s, back when it was still cheap to live there.

It’s definitely not anymore.

Montreal is where it’s at now.”

Chromeo have been back in the UK this November for a series of dates, as part of their European tour, showcasing their latest album, Business Casual.

“The Roundhouse in London is one of the biggest venues we have ever headlined, so that’s obviously really exciting.

We’ve never sold so many tickets, ever.”

Fuse.

Friday November 19 2010

“Montreal is where it’s at now.

The scene is the best”

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Friends since childhood, the two have always been determined to make a living from being creative. “We met in high school,” P-Thugg informs me. “I’d formed the band with a friend of mine who was a drummer, back then. We thought Dave seemed cool, so he joined the band. We’ve been best friends since we were 15 or 16, and have pretty much always been making music together.”

Now back in education, Macklovitch is currently studying for a PhD in French Literature at Columbia University, as well as teaching French language classes. There is definitely more to Chromeo than your typical dance music connoisseurs.

The duo’s most famous track, particularly in the UK, and currently featuring in the background of an advert for hair gel, is ‘Fancy Footwork’.

Do they enjoy being permanently associated with VO5, style extreme?

“Yeah, whatever, man.

Being a non-conformist, that’s a good message to send out I think. Whatever they want to use our music for is cool. But if it could be used to advertise anything, it would have to be condoms.

Sex is way more important.”

Chromeo’s hometown of Montreal is well known for its unrivalled music scene.

Arcade Fire are one of its

“We’re the only successful Arab/Jewish partnership” “I think it’s shaping up to be an amazing tour. I love Europe in general, we’ve been to some really weird places over there and had some real experiences – Serbia and Hungary were pretty strange.

“We played Exit Festival in Serbia, which is in some kind of fortress, with a moat and everything. Pretty cool.

You just wouldn’t get that anywhere else.”

Interview.Melanie Coombs

Mary and Max Animated Aussie Melanie Coombs welcomes us into her tiny plasticine world Words: Emily Shackley

E

generators, but presents life’s potent issues. This innovation also manifests itself visually, through colouring Australia in sepia and New York in black and white. Coombs explains that “this was Adam trying to represent the interior worlds of the characters.

He felt that when you’re very isolated your world may seem grey or brown.

There are little things that you love that might seem more colourful, but overall it’s monotonous. As you can imagine our investors were sceptical about it! But we wanted to say

Krumpet (2003) it was kind of like being struck by lightning.

We somehow acquired a manager and an agent, who organised a series of meetings for us in LA. We’d had an idea that the next logical step was to make a series of threeminute shorts, but the day before we started pitching our manager told us we were going to have to make a feature-length film. With no idea what to pitch, I bought a bottle of wine and told Adam, “We have to make up something to pitch by the end of this bottle”. It took a few glasses before he slowly revealed, “I do have this pen-friend...” Adam genuinely does have an obese, Jewish p e n

friend w i t h Asperger’s syndrome.

They’ve been writing to each other since he was seventeen and I’m happy to say the real Max is really proud of the film.”

The story is incredibly moving, and I’m keen to know how challenging it was to put emotive content into essentially lifeless plasticine figures.

Coombs imparts her theory about animation’s potential: “If you write compelling characters and then animate them the audience goes into a double suspension of disbelief. You don’t identify the characters on screen as actors, and so you get a stronger connection because you can project your own life and experiences onto them. If they’re slightly ‘blanker’ you can invest more in them.”

Perhaps it is this double suspension of disbelief that is responsible for the lasting effect Mary and Max bestows upon its audience.

Hearing of such a focused and passionate team behind the film, it becomes obvious that Mary and Max is not only a labour of love, but is a product of an ethos both inspiring and encouraging in today’s moneydriven mass market.

Fuse.

determined to push the boundaries of animation.”

I ask about the film-making itself, and she describes the dedication involved in the two years of production: “Most feature films shoot for seven to twelve weeks.

We shot for fifty-seven weeks. Stop motion is a very lengthy process! We had six animators working on different sets and each of them would aim to shoot three seconds of footage a day. So we’d have a company meeting on a Monday to watch last week’s rushes, and it would be over in sixty seconds.”

Despite the process seeming tedious, she is keen to stress her team’s

this is a different time in animation; we were aspiring to create an artistic work using visual metaphor, to do something innovative. Adam wanted to create something really remarkable, and I hope that’s what we’ve achieved.”

Aside from the obvious effort that went into physically making the film, Mary and Max’s characters seem extremely well formed. I ask how the idea for the film came about, and whether the characters are based on truth.

With a nostalgic laugh she tells me, “When we won the Oscar for Harvie

Friday November 19 2010

ighteen months after its release in Australia, the much praised featurelength animation Mary and Max has travelled around the globe to reach the UK. Following the first screening in Sheffield I had the chance to speak to Australian producer, Melanie Coombs.

Enthusiastic to the point of rambling, Coombs trips over her words to relay the story of how her newest venture came into being. Her first collaboration with director Adam Elliot on Oscarwinning short film Harvie Krumpet, was to

p a v e the way for further success, through the coupling of animation and unconventional subject matter.

Self-confessedly enjoying the ‘nitty gritty’ of film-making, Coombs’ personality is perfectly suited to the lengthy, often arduous process of claymation used in Mary and Max. Despite being under pressure from American investors to maximise the film’s marketability, Coombs obviously placed huge importance on retaining Mary and Max’s creative integrity, telling me “It’s a film where God is in the detail.

We were

commitment to the cause. “It was genuinely ridiculously hard to make this film, but the spirit in the studio was amazing! We had a team of around a hundred people who would’ve come to work even if I wasn’t paying them.

I think their dedication really shows through in the film.”

It certainly does. Mary and Max fits into that small niche of the animation industry that isn’t focused upon the polished veneer and happily ever afters of Hollywood profit-

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Feature.Worst Games Ever.

With the release of the excellent Call Of Duty: Black Ops this week and Fall Out: New Vegas last week, we look back on some of the games that didn’t quite make the cut.

Words: James Garrett

Fuse.

Friday November 19 2010

We all know and love the film E.T. It was a blockbuster success, racking up nearly 800 million dollars. With a plot already written for them, you would have thought that Atari (who at the time were one of the leading games companies of the ’80s) could have at least made something credible. Sadly not.

This is undoubtedly one of the worst games of all times. Some genius thought that it would be a great idea to take one of America’s most loved films, and turn it into a gaming blockbuster that would storm the charts.

Whoever this was, should give up on making games permanently and spend the remaining years of his life begging forgiveness from anyone who has ever played this game.

His great vision turned into the most monotonous experience. Ever.

Gameplay wise, all you did was walk around as E.T himself trying to find a phone so that he could eventually get home. This torture went on for hours, and the only break would be when you occasionally fell into a hole.

Then you would get to

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Big Rigs is a significant game. It is a game that should be documented, distributed and carefully studied. In years to come theorists should

When a game gets scored as bad as zero out of ten you know it’s got to be something special.

Not wanting to let ET steal all the thunder, Catfight does its best to challenge it for the title of worst game ever made.

It’s your basic fighting game, with you vs an AI opponent, beating each other up until one of you gets knocked out.

Sadly, fights never get this far as the controls are so god-awful, released on the PC, pressing a button to execute a move resulted in a delay time of around 10 seconds. This coupled with awful graphics made the game simply unbearable.

Just to top it all of though Catfight throws sexism in there; all the characters are female and look like they have spent the last ten years in the gym whilst eating steroids for every meal. It was in fact named

by The Daily Pennsylvanian as “The number one sexist game ever created.”

Catfight was clearly designed by someone who had never played a game before, or more to the point, had never once seen a girl in his entire life.

wait about twenty minutes, to levitate out of it. The game was so bad and so overproduced that it was of the main reasons Atari went bankrupt. To rub salt in the would, they then had to dump the millions of copies of the game that had failed to sell into a landfill in Texas.

So there you have it ET man, your legacy will be that you ruined a previously great company and sent hundreds of ET fans into manic depression. TWAT.

scrutinize every element of its design and struggle to unpick the complexity of meaning bubbling under the game’s latent layers. This is because Big

Rigs, along with the most abhorrent historical acts of humankind, is a mistake which should never be repeated.

Big Rigs’ most immediate flaw is that none of the opposing trucks actually move. For a racing game, this does tend to put a bit of a dent in the gameplay.

Furthermore, crossing the finish line in any way – even by simply reversing as soon as the race starts – will neck you an instant victory.

Even with the patched version of the game, it is still impossible to lose.

The AI trucks will now drive adequately to the finish line, before politely parking a few metres away from it and waiting for you to overtake them.

At least the game knows how to positively reward its players – victory will unleash the simply fantastic “YOU’RE W I N N E R ” screen, complete with a threehandled trophy.

It makes you wonder whether the game’s designers were really of a sixlimbed Martian breed who failed

to understand our perverse culture of competitiveness and physically rendered bridges.

Oh, did I not mention?

You fall through bridges – they’re illusionary. As are all houses and buildings.

Terrain is physical, though fails to limit your speed in any way – so you can charge vertically up a mountain at top speed. It’s not as fun as it sounds. It’s really really shit.

Perhaps the only element of fun you can have with Big Rigs is by holding the reverse button

in combination with any direction. For some reason the game not only lets you reverse just as fast as you can drive forwards, but fails to limit your acceleration.

When you get around the 3,000 MPH mark the screen no longer displays comprehensible images but becomes a seizureinducing tunnel of light. If

you stare long enough into this abyss, you’ll start to glimpse strange apparitions projected from the depth of your psyche, and part of you will be lost forever.

Even if Big Rigs had been made by a malnourished and dying orphan boy, who was crawling towards you with his two remaining limbs whilst limply nudging a boxed copy of Big Rigs in your direction, you should not exchange money for Big Rigs. In fact, just tell the orphan in a controlled and firm manner that he possesses a fundamental misunderstanding of what makes life worthwhile, and walk away – just walk away.

James Wragg

Sometimes a game will decide for no reason to punish you. It doesn’t care how bad your day has been, or how long you have been trying to kill a certain boss or figure out a certain puzzle, it just wants to make you suffer.

I had this experience just once, but still to this day it haunts me. I was playing a game called Baldurs Gate Dark Alliance. It’s a standard RPG in which you go around killing monsters, handing in quests and increasing your character’s gear and skills.

Around halfway through I hit a problem, a boss that no matter how many different

things I tried continued to beat me. My initial thought was “fuck this” and move on to something else but I decided to carry on, and ten minutes later I had something to show for my effort.

The boss lies dead, I go to pick up the loot when suddenly I get the message “Due to technical issues Baldurs Gate has shutdown”, As you can imagine, this pissed me off quite a bit, and to this day remains the most annoying thing that has happened to me in a game. I am pretty sure the experience is unlikely to be topped.

The worst experience I’ve had would have to be in Eve: Online.

Strangely, until my friend and I were talking about Eve a few weeks back, I had absolutely no recollection of it. Whether that’s because I was so traumatised by it, or because I simply have a bad memory, I’m not sure.

Anyway, for those who don’t know Eve: Online is a massively multiplayer online sci-fi game.

Despite having been released in 2003 it remains the most massively

THE ‘MARVEL BROTHEL’

To do this you follow these simple steps. Firstly, you have to match up your client with the most suitable X Men. This is when their individual powers come into play, each character can be matched up to their client by comparing their powers to the clients wants and needs.

All the characters from the comics are here ranging from Storm to Rogue, and even Gambit makes an appearance though you can’t pimp him out.

The villain of the game

is the Kingpin and he will not attack you physically but verbally, telling you that your brothel is not good enough and that you should have spent more time decorating than pimping your X-men out.

It’s interesting that a game like this was ever designed, admittedly it was fan made and was designed using the same software that was used to develop Super Colombian Massacure RPG, so excuses can easily be made for it’s weird outlook on how to make an X Men game a best seller.

Still I am pretty certain that there is a ridiculously small niche market out there for someone to enjoy this game, so if you want to pimp out Storm, here’s your chance.

being the things that allow pilots to travel between star systems.

Unfortunately for me, jump gates are communal property and I’m in a star system with a security rating of 1.0. Normally this would mean I need not worry for my safety ,but seeing as how I’ve just broken the law and this place is crawling with coppers, I’m pretty screwed.

I scarper to the nearest space station and hope that if I lay low I’ll survive, so a few hours later log on

again thinking it’ll be safe to exit. Not so, the police hadn’t forgiven me for my crimes and it only took them one shot to reduce my ever-so-shiny ship to dust. Three months down the drain.

I literally felt like screaming “not playing any more!” and slamming a door behind me. I think that was about the time I stopped playing Eve: Online.

‘SHAQ FU’

gameplay itself. On your way to a basketball game you decide that you want to learn how to fight. As is expected, there is no reason for this, but what the hell - this is a terrible game. It never gets this far though as on entering the dojo you get transported into another dimension to rescue a young child from a demonic mummy, in what is possibly the worst idea for a game ever?

The gameplay itself though somehow manages to be worse than the story; you can only play as one character and with limited moves have to beat up various enemies to get to

the final level.

There is no music during any of the fights and only 3 songs are used in the whole game. When a game like this comes out you just have to hang your head in shame, and hope no-one will remember you ever played, or even worse watched someone play this monstrosity.

around is violence.

For some reason (you’re not told why) you have been evicted from your house. So throwing logic to the wind, you decide to exact revenge upon society by killing everyone you see and meet.

This is all it is, the only way to progress to the next level is by killing all the civilians you can see.

Now you can do this is a variety of ways. You have the standard shotgun that can be used to inflict pain, but if you’re feeling creative its not hard to push the boundaries.

The best example to illustrate this would be the ability to attach a cat to the end of a gun, and then fire it at whoever you want.

If the RSCPA could see

this they would have an absolute heart attack.

It’s sick, twisted and gets pretty damn boring after about 5 minutes. As bad as the original was, the idea to make a sequel was just plain stupid, and was so badly received that it was banned in Australia, and almost got sued by the American Postal Service.

So what do you do when you can’t make a sequel?

You make a film just like Postal did.

Games like this just should be left as ideas in someone’s head. They are not fun to play, not to mention highly disturbing.

Whoever made this rubbish should be taken to a ditch, and thrown in.

Next up in this list of worst gaming concepts ever is Shaq Fu. The famous basketball player Shaquille O’Neal decided it would be a great boost for his career to be part of a video game. This is a concept that can work, I mean, look at the Tiger Woods games that have come out in recent years, each one improving on the last and each one proving yet more ridiculously popular.

For Shaq though, the concept didn’t work.

The idea of the game is almost as bad as the

POSTAL

Fuse.

Let’s just start off by saying this is violent, and I mean really violent. The developers were holding nothing back when they made this one.

If you have ever got fed up with the neighbours and would just like to release some steam, or if you think you could potentially be insane, this is the game for you. There is no story, no plot, all this game revolves

Daniel Mears

Friday November 19 2010

The Marvel Brothel, this is a classic; whoever came up with this deserves a medal that recognises his commitment to making such weird games.

The idea is simple you play as Charles Xavier, and, fed up of trying to convince humanity that mutants are friendly and that humanity and mutants can coexist peacefully, you have decided to convert all your existing X Men into prostitutes in order to gain acceptance into humanity.

No asking them if they are ok with the idea or if they would like to find another way of integrating with humanity; maybe an annual football match or a bake off with all proceeds going to a neutral charity.

He has gone straight to pimping out his team.

multiplayer game available.

Aside this, Eve is notable for being exceptionally slowburning, you can become involved in some really epic stuff, but it takes ages to get to that level.

So picture me living it up, cruising through space in my uber-shiny battleship; it took me about three months to get where I am, so I’m feeling pretty pleased with myself.

Now, I’m not sure how, but I accidentally managed to pop a cap in some jump gate’s ass - jump gates

7

Interview. Stewart Campbell

GAY ICONS PROJECT Sheffield’s forthcoming celebration of gay culture is set to guide you through a kaleidoscope world full of interesting characters.

Oscar WIlde

The project’s director Stewart Campbell tells us what it means to be a gay icon.

Words: Kristi Genovese

Fuse.

Friday November 19 2010

Jackie Kay

8

Harvey Milk

Quentin Crisp

C

ould you imagine being locked behind cold steel bars just for having sex with the person you loved?

Well, just over 40 years ago this was a reality for gay couples.

What about being killed for expressing that love? Before 1861 same-sex couples were breaking the law by being sexually active and were consequently subject to the death penalty.

rooftops.

So much so that people are proud to be gay and many celebrities, actors and writers have been embraced by the gay community, celebrated as gay icons.

The world of art has thrived within gay culture.

Having been subject to similar fears of ‘coming out’ himself, Stewart Campbell (pictured, right) decided to bring a gay icons project to Sheffield, after an exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery inspired him to explore the concept further.

“It was very different to my project in that they asked ten gay men and women who were successful or famous to nominate gay icons.”

The experience left Campbell astonished, as the responses were so contrasting.

“You had people who were dead and alive, heterosexual, homosexual, celebrities in the pop world and martyr figures.”

Campbell’s idea started as a concert exploring homosexual composers, which will still feature as the musical section of the project, but he was soon influenced to do so much more.

“Up until the 20th century it’s not really been acceptable to be gay but we have had lots of flamboyant composers.

There will be a concert of Leonard Bernstein’s music who wrote West Side Story.”

Campbell was then

“I think it is a celebration of fantastic human beings regardless of their sexuality” Oscar Wilde, who became fascinated with youthful, strong men, was famously jailed for committing ‘buggery’.

Thankfully, we now live in a world where sexual liberation is celebrated, and while acts of parliament have been amended over the years, there are still legal barriers.

In the last five years, gay couples may have had the right to enter a civil partnership in the UK, but it is still illegal for it to be classified as a ‘marriage’.

The good thing is that people are now less afraid to be true to themselves, and millions of people around the world find the strength to shout their sexual orientation from the

motivated to push the project into the sociological realms to find out exactly what people in Sheffield thought about gay icons.

A website was soon set up, so that people could submit their own ideas for gay icons were and why and the information gathered will feature in an exhibition during the project.

The feedback has proved to be anything but ordinary.

“We’ve had some really interesting responses so far. There’s serious people like Virginia Woolf to people like Albus Dumbledore from Harry Potter.

“JK Rowling actually said in an interview that she envisioned him as being gay. It’s quite interesting how those responses are quite diverse.”

So, is there anyone in particular who keeps cropping up?

“So far we haven’t had any cliché gay icons, like Madonna and Kylie, and I’m interested to see if we do because they’re the obvious connotations you have when you say gay icon. But actually that’s just something the media has put forward, and is not really represented by the gay community at all.”

So for something so subjective, what is it that epitomises a gay icon?

“For me personally, a gay icon is a gay man or woman who has been pioneering in cultural output or socialeconomic output.

“A lot of it is people have been inspirational in human rights, and a lot in class, style and fashion.”

People will have very different ideas as to who can represent the gay community best, and the

interesting time to look at.”

The project is aimed at everybody who has an interest in a culture, which has only recently been able to express itself.

“We’re even looking at a potential gay couple in The Bible” “I think it is a celebration of fantastic human beings regardless of their sexuality.

“But it’s also an introduction to gay culture to heterosexual audiences.

We’re very fortunate to live in a time and place where it’s acceptable to do a project of this type, and I hope that comes to the surface.”

According to Campbell gay communities need to

work together in Sheffield to make the most of what they’ve got and to “bring what we have forward, in new directions.”

While the themed events may appear to be a lighthearted approach to liberal and universal love, Campbell hopes people will take something more away with them.

“It would be a really wonderful response if I knew my project had inspired people to come out.

“I know there’s some wonderful people in the city doing work with young people and getting them to accept their homosexuality, so we’re certainly going to try and target the project at them.”

The Gay Icons Project launches on Friday November 19 with the official Climax launch party in the Students’ Union, and continues until Saturday December 11.

Project highlights: our picks There will be plenty of familiar faces featuring in the project who have inspired modern literature including: Jackie Kay The writer will read about her creation of

complex gay characters from her novel Trumpet which was inspired by the life of musician Billy Tipton - a female jazz pianist who lived as a man for the majority of his life. She will also talk about the gay writers she admires including Audre Lorde, James Baldwin, Jeanette Winterson, Ali Smith, Jane Rule, Quentin Crisp, Edwin Morgan.

Andre Gide David Walker explores the early letters between Gide and his lover Eugène Rouart, which reveals Gide’s frame of mind when he was coming to terms with his sexuality. The story of Gide’s homosexuality is described in “Si le grain ne meurt” and in the essays on homosexuality “Corydon”.

Oscar Wilde Neil McKenna will explore the ‘Secret Life of Oscar Wilde’, an account of Wilde’s astonishing journey giving insight into his emotional and sexual life. The poet chose to martyr himself for the cause of love between men. He will also discuss his other work on two Victorian gay icons.

Fuse.

project is essentially an observant bird’s eye view bringing together some of the greatest gay icons, to find out what makes them so special.

“One of my icons is the composer B e n j a m i n Britten, who lived in a time when his friends were being thrown into prison for being gay.

“In addition to making some great music he celebrated gay literature, and I think that’s quite inspirational.

“Another is Wineretta Singer, who was an arts patron in Paris at a time when it was the leading place in Europe for fashion, literature and music.

All the coolest people of the day were there, and I find that quite ground breaking really.”

The variety of events on offer will essentially guide people into a world based on flamboyancy, strength and diversity by the people who knew some of the many gay icons well.

“There will be a talk about the playwright Joe Orton by his sister, and the woman who was asked to write Alexander McQueen’s biography will be there.

“We’ll also look at the outlandish club artist Leigh Bowery, and how the 1980s club culture has inspired people like Lady GaGa today.”

But it hasn’t all been about expressing confidence, dancing and liberation. There will also be talks about the historical struggles people have had to endure.

“We’re also looking at the social impact of gay icons, that is people who have been pioneering in the field of human rights. The most famous gay human rights activist, Peter Tatchell, will be doing a talk.

“We’re even looking at a potential gay couple in The Bible, King David and Jonathan, which is subject to much scholarly debate, so we’ve got gay icons from a time before Jesus Christ, which is an extremely

Friday November 19 2010

Peter Tatchell

Project Director Stewart Campbell

9

Reviews.Music releases.

RAY DAVIES

See My Friends Universal

6/10 As commercial a venture as this may be, Ray Davies is more than entitled, in this post-Glee era of ours, to re-interpret pieces that are among our parents’ first records. They are his own, after all.

To mix things up, the erstwhile performer gets more than enough help from an esteemed, jumble of ‘friends’ on this album, which for the most part could easily be an incarnation of yet another Radio One’s Live Lounge release.

It is nothing more than a polished tribute. Jackson Browne slips in seamlessly on laid-back anthem ‘Waterloo Sunset’ and in the bluesy treatment of ‘Dead End Street’, Glaswegian Amy Macdonald lends herself beautifully.

Heavy names on paper, Metallica play out a guitar hero-fied ‘You Really Got Me’ with their eyes shut while Smashing Pumpkin Billy Corgan at least closes the

I BLAME COCO The Constant Island

Fuse.

Friday November 19 2010

7/10

10

THE TALLEST MAN ON EARTH Sometimes the Blues is Just a Passing Bird Dead Oceans

5/10

Swedish artist The Tallest Man on Earth is presumably looking to take advantage of folk music’s recent rise in the public consciousness.

The EP is a strippedback affair, in the mould of

album with a bit of fervour and chemistry.

Davies’ Hop Farm Festival co-headliners Mumford and Son’s mid-album encore of ‘Days/This Time Tomorrow’ has B-side written all over it.

There is also a distinct omission of Florence Welch, 2010’s serial guest collaborator, as Paloma Faith overbears on ‘Lola’.

Despite the hit and miss nature of the performances of his ‘friends’, it is a tribute to the tunes of The Kinks front man that he remains buoyant throughout the LP. If he still enjoys recapturing his songbook

then who are we to complain? Indeed, more than once, Davies seemingly sidelines himself to guest appearances.

Without his presence, these covers would be unlikely to see the time of day, or all of the night for that matter.

This would all fare better as ‘An evening with...’ primetime television special.

Although, with household darlings old and new on the roll call and no ‘Sunny Afternoon’, Ray Davies will certainly reassert himself with the parents again this Christmas.

Daniel Merriman

On the surface The Constant appears to be cut from the same cloth as Ellie Goulding’s Lights or Marina and The Diamond’s The Family Jewels.

Opening track ‘Selfmachine’ is ’80s synths, punchy beats and a pulsing bass line, making for a thoroughly enjoyable pop song even if it doesn’t break any new ground.

The saving grace for many of the tracks is that Eliot ‘Coco’ Sumner has a quite extraordinary voice.

She sings in the depths of the lower register and her voice is seductively husky on each track. Sounding slightly strange at times, but there are moments when

it just works. Recent single ‘In Spirit Golden’, is a song that comes alive only in the chorus purely because of the vocal delivery.

I Blame Coco’s best known song, ‘Caesar’ is right at home on the record.

The guest vocals from Robyn are clear and sweet and contrast with Coco’s gruff delivery on what is the most urgent and immediate song on the album.

The Constant is a decent first album from I Blame Coco. Its simple charms remain enjoyable even on repeated listens and there are suggestions that there are greater things to come.

contemporary Bon Iver.

The opening tracks, ‘Little River’, and ‘Like The Wheel’ are based around simple acoustic guitar and lyrics nature and personal failings.

However, whilst his vocals are soothing, this does not disguise the lack of originality.

Better, however, is the blues-influenced ‘The Dreamer’ which has the most memorable chorus of the five as he croons, “Sometimes the blues is just a passing bird”.

It is the standout track of an EP which ends, disappointingly, with the incoherent ‘Thrown Right At Me’.

The vocals are lovely and the guitar work is intricate but the two do not match and it sounds like a rushed studio experiment which should have really stayed there.

If he wants to follow the success of Bon Iver, then the songs have to be as captivating and the writing as creative, otherwise he will risk being left behind.

Phil Armitage

Andrew Twist

KID CUDI

Man on the Moon II: The Legend of Mr. Rager GOOD Music/ Universal Motown

6/10

Kid Cudi’s sophomore effort is something of a concept album, structured with five ‘acts’ to guide the listener along a journey through the eyes of the rapper through all his life’s highs and lows.

Act I, entitled ‘The World I Am Ruling’ is promising, with common themes of progression, pride and aspiration for better things in the future and serves for

CRADLE OF FILTH Darkly, Darkly, Venus Aversa Peaceville

6/10 The latest album from the prolific death metal band Cradle of Filth, who once managed to get themselves forcibly removed from Vatican City, is a characteristically dark affair.

Half deafening, heavy guitars and half atmospheric music last seen on the haunted house ride at Disneyland Paris, fans of both horror and metal should not be disappointed with this double-album fifteen track beast.

A concept album centring around the biblical demon, Lilith, the gothic lyrical inspiration and spoken word an uplifting start.

‘Don’t Play This Song’ marks the start of Act II (‘A Stronger Trip’), and is perhaps the saving grace of a sluggish chapter of the LP. This track is especially dark, with references to suicide, drugs and poignant odes to his father who died of cancer.

The remaining tracks in Act II are sleepy and lethargic.

The standout track, ‘Erase Me’ is intriguing. A refreshing pop-rock sound that is notably more melodic and light-hearted than the other tracks. Featuring Kanye West, his influence is significant.

‘Act IV: The Transformation’ is the peak of the album.

‘The Mood’ is hypnotic and sinister, and ‘MANIAC’ is threaded with unnerving metaphors of darkness, proving that Mescudi’s work is most convincing when he is not trying too hard.

It is a shame the album does not end here, as the closing tracks only serve to be an infuriating hindrance to the album’s strengths.

Stuart Gresham

sections are best if not taken too seriously, and simply admired for what they are, which is incidentally darker than the darkest night in hell. Think, The Exorcism of Emily Rose.

Opening track ‘Beast of Extermination’ features what sounds like a medieval choir, alongside Dani Filth’s trademark growl.

Harpsichord sounds feature prominently, adding to the generally interesting array of weird, heavy yet melodic sounds.

Brilliantly titled track ‘The Nun with the Astral Habit’ also works well, in that it blends an extreme metal sound with an underlying tone that is strangely haunting and disquieting.

Guilty of writing to a distinct formula, many of the album’s tracks are somewhat indistinguishable on first few listens. Melodydriven, ‘The Persecution Song’ is an exception, with its ghostly, repetitive guitar riffs.

Not to mention the return of the mystical choirs, and Hallowe’en-inspired orchestral backing, the violins firmly in pizzicato mode.

Whilst this album is no Nymphetamine, and lacks any awe-inspiring, nineminute long, terrifying epics for which Cradle of Filth are celebrated, it is a solid offering, and undeniably gives the existing fans more of what they crave.

The much cleaner, wellproduced sound that has evolved with the band over their years in the death business, makes it clear to see why they sit towards the more mainstream end of the scale, in what is a highly controversial genre.

The entire package is most definitely an acquired taste, but if the mood strikes, there are few bands better versed to provide such a thorough, gothic fix.

Singles.

on the vocal duty with soaring refrains through verses and choruses before Mike Shinoda interjects with raggae-infused rap sections.

Canadians Tokyo Police Club’s newest release ‘Favourite Colour’ may be best recognised as the introductory track from this year’s Match of the Day. The track is two and a half minutes of choppy indie pop, catchy riffs and melodies. It’s hardly going to set the world alight, but does not has you reaching for the skip button.

‘Blue Blood’, is the latest single from Oxford quintet Foals. The slow-burning and melodic opening melodies and detached vocals give way to a more standard Foals fare halfway through the track, allowing for the taut funky rhythm section to take control, before returning to the calm of the introduction without ever taking off.

Jordan Tandy

Kele continues playing around with synthesizers and autotune with his latest single ‘On The Lam’. The result is a beat you would not be surprised to see David Guetta’s name attached to, but is no doubt likely to be gracing an indie dancefloor or two this winter.

New track from Linkin Park shows a distinct departure from the fastpaced rap-rock of their earlier career.

‘Waiting For The End’ marks a shift towards arena rock balladry, as Chester Bennington takes

Lizzie Palmer

Read more singles reviews online www.forgetoday.com

Reviews.Live music.

CONSTELLATIONS FESTIVAL

Leeds University Sunday November 14

After somehow getting lost around the labyrinthine maze (hardly!) of Leeds University campus, we eventually ended up at the Students’ Union; home to the inaugural Constellations Festival.

With live music, art and film, spanning three rooms of the place, Constellations is a celebration of independent alternative culture.

Refectory, the largest of the day’s venues, is decorated with hanging shapes and trinkets, designed by art collective Nous Vous, as one of the many artists on the Wichita roster, Sky Larkin work their way through their charming, fuzzy lo-fi pop.

Treating the audience to a selection of tracks from The Golden Spike and new album Kaleide, Sky Larkin are decent enough without ever being memorable.

After short jaunt along the corridor and down the stairs, we are greeted with the blues and whites of the Stylus light show. Combined with the celestial animations behind the hooded figure of Gold Panda it creates an ethereal and atmospheric ambience in the festival’s second room.

Heavy and loud, the sound of the venue is more of a hindrance than a help, as often the intricacies of Panda’s tracks are lost amongst heavy bass fuzz.

Despite this, the grooves of ‘You’ and ‘Quitter’s Raga’ still pack a punch.

Gold Panda’s set concludes with a building electronic crescendo, before raising his arms with a shout and elusively slipping from the stage.

Taking the reigns from Gold Panda at Stylus, is Liars, whose setlist reads like a greatest hits, reeling off the best of the best from their back catalogue.

The no-wave influenced atmospheric drums of ‘It Fit When I Was A Kid’ signal Liars’ intent; accompanied by the yelps of lead, Angus Andrew, whose on stage dance moves are more an erotic Barney the dinosaur, than Ian Curtis.

The glacial epic ‘The Other Side of Mt. Heart Attack’ takes its position in the heart of the set, before pulses are raised with the brutish ‘Plaster Casts of Everything’ and ‘Cycle Time’.

Most of what can be said of Les Savy Fav’s performance is down to the madcap, captivating antics of frontman Tim Harrington.

After taking to the stage in full academic garb; robes and mortarboard included, it wasn’t long until he was gyrating his crotch in my co-editor Lizzie’s face or pouring my pint all over

me, wearing an oversized t-shirt and red short-shorts that a Baywatch-era Pamela Anderson would have looked at home in.

Whether it was simulating sexual acts with a rogue crowd-surfer before removing their shoe and administering a foot rub, or swinging like Tarzan from his own microphone lead thrown over the light decking, Harrington’s behaviour is transfixing.

The rest of the band continue to play unblinkingly, barely even noticing his presence, whilst the venue security follow Harrington around Stylus like his legal guardians as he climbs the sound stage, the balcony and basically everything raised above ground level.

Harrington sits plaiting the hair of a girl in the crowd, and the band continue with their set, whilst innumerable audience members surf their way to the stage.

Its a scene that sums up an incredible live performance.

After spending twenty minutes or so languishing in the tardiness of Broken Social Scene, who had shown no indication of appearing on stage at any time soon, I returned to Stylus to witness what had inadvertently became an impromptu clubnight situation hosted by Four Tet. Every ounce of Keiran Hebden’s electronic muscle and experience is evident, and tracks like ‘Love Cry’

Tim Harrington’s studious attire didn’t last long.

Picture: Lizzie Palmer and ‘Plastic People’ rid their shackles when performed live becoming hypnotic, rhythmic powerhouses.

After bobbing around on my own for a while my self-consciousness got the better of me - especially when the house lights momentarily came on. This led to me slinking off to take in Sleigh Bells.

Tucked away in the underground dungeon that is Mine, Sleigh Bells were in

Wild Nothing + THE VACCINES

The Harley Sunday November 7

Liars’ towering frontman Angus Andrew.

Picture: Lizzie Palmer

The Harley Thursday November 11 Abe Vigoda may have ditched the calypso-punk of their first two LPs for a brooding, ’80s influenced sound, but they have nonetheless retained their sense of sonic adventure.

Opening act, Sheffieldbased producer Ghost Hunter, creates hypnotic basslines and glitchy atmospherics in the same

wonky vein as Flying Lotus.

Next up were mathpop outfit Munch Munch.

Using the unconventional set-up of two drummers, two keyboardists and a bassist, they created a complex sound laced with polyrhythms, overlapping synths and vocals that bring to mind Avey Tare of Animal Collective.

Upon taking to the stage, Abe Vigoda launch into ‘Crush’, a slab of moody shoegaze from their latest album.

Singer Michael Vidal commands a fair amount of stage presence as he jerks

his guitar about, straining on tip-toes to sing into the mic.

They follow up with ‘Sequins’, a lighter number – with its glimmering keyboards and spidery guitar-line, it is not such a departure from the tropicalpunk of Abe Vigoda’s first efforts.

The band continues with new single ‘Throwing Shades’ and its dreampop vibes, reminiscent of Cocteau Twins.

After a set slightly regrettably comprised entirely of songs from their latest record, Crush, Abe

Vigoda seemingly conclude with the manic, calypsotinged ‘Skeleton’, leaving the stage only to receive a chorus of ‘More!’ from the audience.

The crowd is rewarded with three minutes of squalling guitars and noise rock, a nod to Abe Vigoda’s early days, which is greatly appreciated.

Yet the impression given by tonight’s performance is that they are eager to move on to greener sonic pastures; surely no bad thing.

Ben Taylor

sleeve and being a bit too derivative of bands that have been their done that, but do enough to satisfy.

Jack Tatum, the man behind Wild Nothing played his first ever UK show at the Harley in July, at this year’s Tramlines festival; and his fuzzy, dreamy guitarpop is perfectly suited to lazy summer evenings as opposed to late autumn dreariness.

Here, accompanied with a full band, Wild Nothing’s live performance takes on a louder, fuller sound, without sacrificing the delicacies that saw debut album Gemini become a critical success.

Wild Nothing roam their way through a selection of lush, fuzzy vignettes taken from Gemini; gorgeously textured and realised, the vocals occasionally seeming detached and functioning as further

layered instrumentation.

Tatum’s voice often brings to mind that of The Shins’ lead, James Mercer.

Lyrically, he takes on the human condition, often pessimistically giving a stark and bleak outlook on things, but this doesn’t eschew the feel-good vibes that the album and the live performance itself emit.

The hazy bedroom pop guitars and subtle synths of ‘Chinatown’ manage to stand out in an already stellar collection of tracks.

The one-man Beach Boys melodies of set closer ‘Summer Holiday’ seal an accomplished performance.

With the burgeoning lofi indie-pop scene that is currently en vogue, Tatum and Wild Nothing have shown they have what it takes to become a major player.

Jordan Tandy

Jordan Tandy The eager Constellations crowd gather.

Picture: Lizzie Palmer

Fuse.

abe vigoda

‘Rill Rill’, the velocity and temperature is restored to its searing best with closer ‘Crown on the Ground’ and a customary stage dive.

I returned to the refectory just in time to hear Broken Social Scene’s Kevin Drew conclude, amidst thanking just about everybody on earth: “Give it up for a very cool festival.”

Friday November 19 2010

The Harley is fit to burst; which could either be to shelter from the bitter cold outside, or to see the evening’s support ably come from recent buzz-band The Vaccines.

Front man, Justin Young at times embodies the cocksure swagger of Julian Casablancas, others the brooding melancholia of The Walkmen’s Hamilton Leithauser, whilst the band provide short, back-to-basic bursts of classic rock and roll.

The Vaccines toe the line between merely wearing their influences on their

full, rampant, flow.

The room is intensely hot and pitch black bar the intermittent strobe lights coming from the stage, Sleigh Bells’ visceral blend of noise rock and R&B pop was in its element. Frontwoman Alexis Krauss tears through a selection from acclaimed debut Treats, crafting an easy going rapport with the raucous support.

After the impossibly catchy and less in-your-face

11

Reviews.Screen.

SKYLINE

Dir: Colin Strause, Greg Strause

1/10 Unoriginal, confusing and painstakingly boring, Skyline is yet another sci-fi drama that belongs in the trash bin.

When Jarrod (Eric Balfour) and his girlfriend (Scottie Thompson) visit Los Angeles to stay with his friend Terry (Donald Faison) in his luxurious apartment, beams of mysterious light suddenly drop down from the sky. The result? Vast alien creatures and machines aim to destroy the world. Cue lots of aimless running, shooting and hiding.

The plot is not exactly groundbreaking. In fact, the Strause brothers seem to have actually borrowed ideas from other sci-fi adventures.

Light shoots down from the sky, exactly like in Independence Day. We see our main characters established at an orgyfest of a party, much like Cloverfield. Our aliens’ lust for brains reads from the same script as Starship

Lee nelson’s well good show: season one On DVD 29 November

Fuse.

Friday November 19 2010

7/10

12

An observational comedy show satirising troubled youth and popular culture: not exactly a ground breaking venture, is it?

Yes, we know there are hooded ASBO bearers roaming the streets with pit bulls on anabolic steroids, and we know that teenagers have gained notoriety through their jovial sexual liberalism and appetite for STIs. Shameless predictability does not seem to concern writer and performer Simon Brodkin though, as he hurls his ‘innits’ and ’geezers’ about in a manner not seen since Little Britain made

Troopers. The list goes on and on.

Even though the film challenges itself by trying to bring all these great ideas together, the Strause brothers do it pretty badly.

And that’s the main problem - the film has no idea what it really wants to be.

If it is trying to be Cloverfield then it fails on so many levels. The character the exact same jokes half a decade ago.

Still, that’s not to say Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show does not have its moments.

Brodkin’s performance excels when it is stripped back. His stand up routines, in the persona of charming chav Lee Nelson, are positively awkward and hugely risqué.

Lee Nelson has no qualms about quizzing the fat guy in the audience about his sexual conquests, nor can he resist giving sixteen year old audience members crude sexual tips in the presence of their parents. The awkwardness is ingenious, if not a little predictable.

But remember, this show is about observation, and Brodkin’s Lee Nelson character is a frighteningly accurate depiction of society‘s deranged youth.

Make no mistake though, the majority of punch lines can be guessed within a few seconds. Polish migrants working in kitchens,

development is laboured, slow and built around horrible clichés, and the dialogue is cringe worthy. By the end of it you cannot care less whether anyone dies or not. Even if you had a choice, sadly, you’d probably go for the former.

The acting fares no better either. It is terrible. Balfour is one of those actors that needs to stick to preliminary

Americans being fat; he’s not exactly pushing the comedic envelope.

As such, it is difficult to weigh up whether these one liners are a part of his Lee Nelson persona or his own stand up routine. They’re

WE are what we are Dir: Jorge Michel Grau

8/10 Experience has taught us that cannibalism in some films can be a recipe for disaster, but We Are What We Are cooks up a delicious Mexican cinematic feast that will leave you feeling full and satisfied.

When the father of a Mexican family dies, the teenage children are forced to share the responsibility

roles rather than play the lead character.

He has absolutely no stage presence, personality or charisma whatsoever.

Worryingly for a sci-fi movie, the special effects are not even that great, either. The aliens seem to resemble female genitalia.

Walking female genitalia. A scary thought indeed.

When Jarrod attacks one

of them with his fists, you feel that he is assaulting a harmless creature, made out of cheap plastic. For a film created by two people that helped design Avatar, you really expect more for your money.

Whilst the film is impossible to take seriously at times, there is one slightly humorous, notable scene, when a man is

too educated for the Lee Nelson character, but too daft and predictable for a respectable comedian. In a peculiar way though, it all seems to work together.

The show is further bolstered with obscure

video sketches, some of which are superb and - dare I say it - original.

Brodkin portrays stereotypical Premiership footballer, Jason Bent, in a parody of fly-onthe-wall ITV2 celebrity

of putting the ‘meat’ on the table. The film centres around the family’s struggle with poverty, perversion, and hunting down and killing whores for the ritual.

Quite sickening stuff really.

Even though the plot appears strange on the surface, the film is actually brilliantly portrayed.

It makes us feel a sort of weird empathy for the family and their constant troubles.

The eldest son Alfredo (Francisco Barreiro) constantly has to fight within himself to find victims for the ritual. They do not kill for strange lusts it seems, but out of necessity.

However the film is not

a survival horror like The Shining. In fact, its not meant to be. It isn’t even that scary. But it is incredibly eerie.

Director Jorge Michel Grau masterfully places several time ticking clocks in the home of the cannibals, breaking up awkward silence and instead building up a suspense that produces the sort of creepiness that makes you want to hide underneath the bedcovers.

If the film couldn’t get any weirder, then its hint of incest puts the icing on the cake.

Alfredo’s brother, Julian (Alan Chávez), Julian rather randomly takes a fancy to

initially confused for a woman performing oral sex on his male lover. What a shame that this is the only positive (which is in fact a real stretch) that comes from the movie.

A real shame and a chore to watch, Skyline could well be one of the worst films of the year.

Jay Allan documentaries. The 110% Bent section is a lot funnier than it sounds and is certain to have Wayne Rooney blubbering shamefully into an unsympathetic mirror.

Again.

Another brilliantly observant segment is Brodkin’s spoof of rambunctious British tourists and holiday ‘night life’ documentaries: Faliraki Nights. Fictional holidayrep, Chris Young, guides the jubilant tourists through hilariously exaggerated holiday ‘games‘.

In fairness to Simon Brodkin, if you‘re in a daft mood, this is a laugh per minute comedy. Of course it wont stand up next to comedy heavyweights, but it’s still a commendable effort.

All in all, Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show is exactly what you should expect from a BBC Three comedy show. Take that as you will, but don’t expect fireworks.

Tom Fletcher his sister, Sabina (Paulina Gaitan), which is surprisingly never fully explored.

Even though the film at times deals superbly with issues such as abject poverty, and the social problems of a family of cannibals, the romance between Julian and Paulina feels unnecessary. Grau never gives it a licence to develop. He must draw the line somewhere I suppose.

Whilst cannibalism and incest are not exactly words intended to whet your appetite, We Are What We Are serves up a tasty dish of cinematography.

Jay Allan

Reviews.Games.

Editorial.

call of duty: black ops PC, Xbox 360, PlayStation 3

9/10 For many, November means dark evenings, increased heating bills and weekly visits to the throne of X Factor. For us gamers though, it’s all about the new Call of Duty. Oh yes, the bane of girlfriends and the destroyer of degrees is back, and it’s better than ever.

Let’s get this out of the way first: No, Call of Duty: Black Ops wasn’t made by franchise creators and Modern Warfare 2 developers Infinity Ward; it’s the baby of “B-Team” Treyarch, who made 2008’s lacklustre World at War and the forgettable CoD3. So it’s perfectly reasonable to assume that Black Ops, like its predecessors, would be a half-baked product rushed to market to sate the masses until the next Modern Warfare.

That’s certainly what I was expecting. But now I’ve played through the campaign and put the expansive multiplayer through its paces, I can tell you that BO (embarrassing acronym aside) could well be

the best game in the series.

The franchise has always prided itself on having highly immersive and cinematic single player campaigns, even if they sometimes come at the cost of coherency.

MW2 had probably the most nonsensical and poorly constructed story I’ve ever played through and, yes, that includes “yellow blob eats fruit and runs from ghosts”. Black Ops,

Penumbra collection PC

6/10

Amnesia: The Dark Descent.

Nevertheless this collection, which includes all three Penumbra games (Overture, Black Death and Requiem), is unfortunately much harder to recommend.

Aiming at a mysteryridden narrative, Penumbra sees you descend into the icy depths of northern

Greenland searching for your elusive father.

Whilst the first episode, Overture, is played out in an abandoned mine, it ends in your character gaining entry to a research facility known as “The Shelter”.

Black Death continues from this point, and rest assured its plot revolves

around meddling scientists (will they ever learn?) and a virus which has transformed former employees into generally unfriendly zombies. Strangely, your character also becomes infected, but rather than being reduced to an unsightly drunkard, you develop a sarcastic splitpersonality.

Penumbra shows its indie roots very clearly, this has both positive and negative repercussions. There are some great innovations, such as the manner in which the player manipulates the environment.

Opening a door entails clicking on it and sliding the mouse back to open it however much you please, allowing you to peak through a tiny crack if you’re that scared of what’s on the other side. But the same thinking is applied to attacking a rabid dog with a hammer,

testament to how good this game is.

Also, World at War’s Nazi Zombie mode has been brought over in all its gory glory with a hilarious ’60s twist. It’s ridiculously fast paced and a ton of fun especially if you’re with friends and, whilst it’s no Left 4 Dead, it will no doubt account for a lot of lost time.

So if you’re erring about whether to get this game, knowing Treyarch’s history or simply unwilling to hand over £40, don’t worry, it won’t be a purchase you’ll regret. Just don’t be surprised when you fail your January exams.

Tom Wardak

Regardless of what you think of Black Ops, it’s hard not to be impressed by the sheer size of the games industry today. A few years ago I don’t think anyone would use the phrase ‘blockbuster release’ in relation to a video game, but nowadays it’s hard to keep up with the constant stream of big-budget titles hitting shop shelves.

Give it another ten or so years, and I’m sure the entertainment industry will be changed irrevocably.

Cinemas are already struggling to keep up profits - if home entertainment continues to grow, the days of leaving your sofa to catch the latest action flick might be numbered.

James Wragg James Garrett games@forgetoday.com essentially meaning it’s nigh on impossible to hit.

The problem with Penumbra is that it’s a mess of ideas Some of these ideas are great, but that doesn’t automatically result in a good game.

Black Death manages to shed the amateur feel that slightly marred the atmosphere of its predecessor, and should be a scarier game as a result.

Yet, at the same time it chooses to subject the player to Portal-like blackhumour which begs whether I am meant to be taking this game seriously.

Overall, Penumbra Complete is pretty spooky and is at least solid in terms of its puzzles, but is confused and inconsistent as a package. Buy Amnesia: The Dark Descent instead.

Daniel Mears

Fuse.

In 2006, indie developers Frictional Games released a tech demo called Penumbra which showcased a new sort of game: the firstperson adventure. Like in point and click adventures, the player progresses using his intellect; but unlike those games the player is immersed in an eerie 3D environment, so amazingly life-like that it could even simulate physics.

Astoundingly, Frictional Games remain sole occupants of an extremely promising niche, proven so by their most recent game, the excellently horrifying

incredible.

The staple modes can all be found here along with new “wager matches” where players bet their currency – which is now needed to purchase weapons and perks – against their performance.

Do well, you’ll get rich; have a bad game and you could lose everything.

These matches (which include “One in the Chamber” where everyone only has one bullet and a knife) and the new currency system really revitalise the multiplayer experience which would otherwise be stagnating. The fact that I’ve avoided my imminently due essays all week in favour of playing this is surely

Friday November 19 2010

whilst still convoluted and farfetched, is a lot more mentally and emotionally engaging.

You are Alex Mason, an American Special Forces operative at the height of the Cold War. The story is framed retrospectively around an interrogation about a set of mysterious numbers.

This allows the quick span of years and continents, giving a highlight reel of ’60s warfare ranging from Vietnam to Cuba. The pacing is relentless and the plot, whilst not wholly originally, is intense and massively entertaining. Oh, and it actually makes sense, which is always nice.

The CoD formula of “run to the next checkpoint whilst shooting at lots of baddies” is intact and would start grating were it not for the scattered stealth and vehicular segments that help break up the flow. Just don’t expect your squad mates to do anything to help as they have the collected intelligence of the cast of Jersey Shore and will often find themselves staring at a wall in a firefight - a small blight on an amazing, albeit short, campaign; the best in a CoD game to date.

However, let’s be honest, it’s all about the online multiplayer and it is, simply,

So it’s official: Call of Duty: Black Ops has outsold everything. In the first 24 hours of its release the behemoth of a game made $360 million in the U.S. and U.K. - $50 million more than Modern Warfare 2 this time last year.

The game’s publisher Activision has been marketing the game like crazy, and even took over Battersea Power Station in London for a launch event, where they projected giant images of the game onto the building’s main chimneys.

13

Reviews.Arts.

The Trial Drama Studio

7/10 SuTCo venture into the surreal world of Kafka in their latest offering of Berkoff’s stage adaptation of The Trial.

The play follows the misfortunes of Joseph K (Dominic Corfield) who wakes up one morning to find he is being arrested for an unknown crime.

His journey through the maze of an esoteric justice system is fraught with frustrations, meeting a sequence of characters all claiming to help him, though ultimately compounding the helplessness of the situation.

As K contemplates his humanity, he arrives upon a startling realisation about what it is to be guilty.

A bemused audience get their first taste of Berkoff’s trademark devices of alienation long before the curtain parts.

Negotiating the foyer involves dodging the heckling of some of the more surreal characters, only to be greeted inside the theatre by the odd ushercum-mime.

But the energy and commitment, verging on barefaced eccentricity, of the actors is what makes this play so compelling, despite the potential of experimental theatre to lapse into pretentiousness.

The scenery is primitive, and the setting so intimate as to make you feel as though you may have stumbled upon a rehearsal.

Yet the visuals prove to be captivating. A sheer curtain provides the backdrop to a strictly monochrome affair, and white frames are used to create whirling corridors or

rooms whose walls constrict around the accused.

Increasing the feeling of claustrophobia, K is surrounded by a faceless chorus of actors at all times.

The fluidity of the scene changes makes Berkoff’s vision technically challenging to pull off.

Here the play lacks slickness and polish at times, however, a host of commanding performances do enough to steal the eye.

Matt Plant in particular is effervescent as K’s lawyer Huld, while Dom Gee Burch provides comic relief with his portrayal of the flamboyant painter Titorelli.

Sarah Raine also excels, playing several temptresses along the way.

Overall, it is not difficult to conceive that one of Kafka’s bouts of insomnia inspired this nightmarish oddity.

Claire McWethy

The nutcracker Lyceum

8/10

Technical Silence Access Space

Fuse.

Friday November 19 2010

7/10

14

It is a short walk from the Graves Art Gallery to Access Space, but the work on display couldn’t be more different.

Whilst the Graves showcases traditional pieces from the past, Access Space’s Technical Silence exhibition is a refreshing blast of modern art.

For his debut exhibition, Sheffield student Ivan Rabodzeenko has drawn on his experiences creating posters for Sheffield club nights and his love of street art and graffiti, but as he explains, “instead of telling the viewer about a club night, every painting tries to tell a small thought”.

The paintings have been created using bright and neon colours which are reminiscent of the street art that Rabodzeenko admires, and their urban landscapes are populated by cartoonlike figures and monsters.

The artist has also used words that are either painted or cut out of the newspaper to reinforce the messages contained in the painting.

The textures and patterns that form the backgrounds or bases of the painting are interesting in themselves, with layers of colour applied in various ways.

Although these paintings are on a smaller scale, perhaps the skill with which the paint is applied is a result of Rabodzeenko’s interest in spray paint: “I love spray paint, as working with it is an experience in its own right, the massive scale you work at; the movement of the hand sweeping across the wall, working outdoors”.

But he also notes that “mixing media is something that’s only really possible for gallery-style work, and it adds a sort of richness”.

The paintings on display in Technical Silence are inspired by an urban environment. Rabodzeenko says, “if you made me choose between going to the peak district for the afternoon or taking a walk around an industrial part of Sheffield, I would choose the latter. It’s underrated”.

They are also intended to be viewed in the city, where their colourful, youthful energy might be more appreciated and in keeping with the surroundings.

The exhibition is small, with only four paintings on display, but it is worth a visit as a little snapshot of how urban art can be translated to fit a gallery setting.

Rabodzeenko has created an urban setting for his artwork using boxes set away from the wall.

Yet in the white gallery space, the paintings stand out like sparks of colour.

Jane O’Donoghue

This Christmas favourite, a family-friendly and joyous affair, is deftly and warmly portrayed by the performers of the Northern Ballet.

With a string of highly accomplished productions on the performance circuit, including Dracula, Dangerous Liaisons and Swan Lake, the company’s ability to match mastery of classical choreography with fresh and innovative material is a mark of its versatility.

The elements of Tchaikovsky’s score will be instantly familiar to anyone, and the ballet itself is one of the most regularly performed by companies during the Christmas season. It tells the story of the Edwards family as they gather in their home for the Christmas festivities.

Into the midst of the dancing and the children’s feverish excitement comes the flamboyant Uncle Drosselmeyer, who brings with him a magnificent box of life-sized dancing dolls and a mysterious wooden soldier with the ability to

wild planet The Moor

9/10 A problem with art galleries today is their detachment from mainstream society, meaning the art is only capable of reaching a narrow audience.

However, The Natural History Museum Trading Company Limited (NHM) is doing its utmost to counter this and make the art of wildlife photography accessible to everyone.

A walk through Sheffield’s city centre introduces

crack nuts.

After the party, the young Clara dreams a fantastic world where her house is taken over by a battle between toy soldiers and the Mouse King, and snow maidens dance through the winter forest outside.

The Nutcracker doll comes to life in the shape of a dashing prince, who whisks her away in carriage to the stars and the moon, and then to an exotic far off land of Arabian Princesses, Russian Cossacks, French dancers and sugar plum fairies.

As a whole the company anyone and everyone who comes across it to some of the world’s finest wildlife images.

The exhibition hosts vibrant shots from blurred military macaws dashing through the rainforest, to a rare sight of an elephant swimming underwater using its trunk as a snorkel taken

by Jeff Yonover.

Photos that stood out included Andy Rouse’s king penguins squaring up to one another, which is purely hilarious.

Wild Planet features images from Wildlife Photographer of the Year, which is owned by the Natural History Museum, London and BBC Wildlife

delivered an exciting and exuberant performance, capturing the joyous spirit of the seasonal celebration.

Christie Duncan showed youthful spirit and innocent coquettishness in the role of Clara.

Her dances with the Nutcracker prince (John Hull) are the central motif that drives the latter half of the show.

Hironao Takahashi and Ayana Kanda were the other memorable couple in this performance, their rendition of the dance of the Cavalier and the Sugar Plum Fairy one of the most

commanding and visually arresting of the evening.

The set and costume design was evocative, bringing to life both the restrained charm of the Edward house and the exoticism of foreign palaces.

The Northern Ballet proves the enduring appeal of this timeless Christmas fable, with a thoroughly enchanting performance, guaranteed to appeal to anyone in love with the bright lights of the festive season.

Richard Scott

Picture: © Jeff Yonover/Wild Planet

Magazine.

Wildlife photography is all about capturing and then sharing a moment with the world that usually only lasts a second or so and Shem Compion’s fly-watching meerkats exemplify this flawlessly.

Bringing the wild into a very urban environment, this is definitely an example of an alternative approach to photography, overall leading to the creation of an informative and enticing show.

Jerome Jacob

Sheffield Originals.

Forge Radio schedule

Listen online at www.forgeradio.com, in the Union or at The Edge

Tue

Wed

Thurs

Fri

9 - 10.30am No Comment

9 - 10.30am Grumpy Old 4th Years

9 - 10.30am The Unreleased Hour

9 - 10.30am Anna, Lizzie & Ginny

10.30am - 12pm The James Kenny Show

10.30am - 12pm Freshers!

10.30am - 12pm Pop! Goes the Weasel

9 - 10.30am The Adventures of Jess

12 - 1.30pm Holden & Trigg

12 - 1.30pm Liv & Phil

1.30 - 3pm Orange Tuesday

1.30 - 3pm Liana Live

3 - 4.30pm Come on Trev!

3 - 4.30pm Giulia & the Journos

4.30 - 5pm News Desk

4.30 - 5pm The Petrified Buffalo/ Writer’s Block

12 - 1.30pm Harry & Lauren 1.30 - 3pm A Little Bit of What You Fancy 3 - 4.30pm Not Far From Wrong 4.30 - 6pm Something Really Awesome

5 - 6.30pm EVE

5 - 6.30pm The Power Hour

6.30 - 8pm The New Music Show

6.30 - 8pm Sports Desk

8 - 9.30pm Amplify

8 - 9.30pm The Jazz Show

9.30 - 11pm Sam Moir

8 - 9.30pm Chris McKay: The PreROAR Show

9.30 - 11pm K-lean Beats

11pm - 1am Public Strain

11pm - 1am Crusty Dub Meets...

6.30 - 8pm Something For the Week

12 - 1.30pm Jack & Harriet 1.30 - 3pm The Guide

12 - 1.30pm The Edge on Forge 1.30 - 3pm James Ashford 3 - 4.30pm Dale

3 - 4.30pm Unseen

4.30 - 5pm STOP! Sabbytime!

4.30 - 5pm News Desk 5 - 6.30pm 2 Lads and a Couple of Mics

5 - 6.30pm Straight Outta Crookesmoor

Sun

9 - 10.30am The Broomhill Brunch

12 - 1.30pm The Listening Club

10:30 - 12.00am Coolbeans!

1.30 - 3pm Gutter Music

12 - 1.30pm Good Vibrations

3 - 5pm SRA Chart Show

1.30 - 3pm A Whole Lotta Rock

5 - 6.30pm Film Unit Roundtable

3 - 4.30pm The Amy & Polly Show

6.30 - 8pm Weekend Kickback

4.30pm-5pm Gig Update

8 - 9.30pm Soon I Will Be Invincible

5 - 6.30pm No Rhyme Nor Reason 6.30 - 8pm The Lockdown

6.30 - 8pm FUSE

6.30 - 8pm The Ben Kizzle Forge Mash-up

8 - 9.30pm Brewing Up Trouble

8 - 9.30pm Funk & Soul Show

9.30 - 11pm Bethan & Max

9.30 - 11pm Songs About Girls

9.30 - 11pm Chris & Matt’s Indietastic Evening

9.30 - 11pm The Weekend Warmup

11pm - 1am Beat Route

11pm - 1am Ready Steady Crunk

11pm - 1am B-Side

11pm - 1am Reverb

Get involved.

8 - 9.30pm Small Ideas

9.30 - 11pm Loud Noises!

11pm - 12.30am The Wind Up!

Want to write for Music, Games, Art or Screen?

Are you a photographer or artist?

Come along to our meetings to get involved in Fuse.

Anyone is welcome to join the team during the year.

Next meeting: Week 9: Monday 5pm, Hicks LT2

Fuse.

6 - 6.30pm Backchat

10.30am - 12pm Down the Line

10.30am - 12pm That Friday Show

Sat

Friday November 19 2010

Mon

15

Fuse.previews Friday November 19 - Thursday December 2 2010

Fuse preview: The Sheffield Freeze

Film Unit fortnight

Whether you’re a winter sports enthusiast or merely an admirer, there will be plenty to entertain you at The Sheffield Freeze, an all day event being held this Saturday November 20 at Sheffield Ski Village.

Ski and snowboard competitions, taster sessions, an all day BBQ, plenty of drinking and musical action hosted by the Tuesday Club DJs (who are also holding the after party in Fusion and Foundry) and more will await those who can brave the cold.

Tickets, available from the Union box office will set you back £6 for a spectator pass plus entry to the after party, and for those wishing to get more involved in the icy action, £15 will buy you an all-day lift pass, plus entry to the competitions on the day.

Prices include transport from the Students’ Union, and all proceeds (fittingly) go straight to the Edale Mountain Rescue Charity.

Saturday November 20: Toy Story 3 Another chance to revisit your childhood and watch this longawaited Disney sequel.

Sunday November 21: The Terminator Despite the fact that he’s more interested in politics these days, The Terminator is still an Arnold Schwarzenegger classic.

The selection of films being shown at Film Unit over the next fortnight are:

Sat 20

Sun 21

Mon 22

Offbeat - Belle and Sebastian Special @ Raynor Lounge; 9pm; £3 Celebrate your love for all things indie at Offbeat’s regular Belle and Sebastian special. I wonder what they’ll play?

Lemon Fresh Treasure Hunt @ Union Concourse; 2:00pm; £2.50 To brighten up the darkened days, Lemon Fresh Society is running a treasure hunt, and it’s up to you and your team to find the treasure.

Sunday Cinema: Robin Hood @ Interval; 5pm; Free Get some wireless headphones from the bar and enjoy a relaxing Sunday evening at Interval, as they show the cinematic tale of a Nottingham legend on the big screen.

Give it a Go: Women’s Basketball @ Goodwin Sports Hall; 4pm; £3 All abilities (and heights) are welcome to come and try out the world of women’s basketball. The session will include ball skills and short games.

Na Zdrove! Free Party @ Penelope’s; 9:30pm; Free Na Zdrove! DJs play balkan beats, Russian ska and gypsy punk at the weird and wonderful night’s November free party.

Fri 26

Sat 27

Marseille @ Fusion; 7:30pm; £5 adv That’s right, this band features amongst its members Neil Buchanan from Art Attack, who, contrary to that old Facebook rumour is still alive and rocking.

Give it a Go: Walk around Burbage @ Meet at Endcliffe Park; 10am; £2 Enjoy a walk in the peak district, finishing in the lovely Fox House pub before catching the bus back to Sheffield. Wrap up warm.

Club Pony @ DQ; 10:30pm; £6 adv This Friday night bash from the good people at Club Pony sees Sheffield playing host to Brodinski and Matt Walsh.

Give it a Go: Edinburgh Weekend @ Meet at Bar One; 11am; £93 Explore Scotland’s beautiful capital city, home to the annual summer festival. Price includes return coach journey and 2 nights bed and breakfast at Edinburgh Central Youth Hostel.

Pulled Apart by Horses @ Leadmill; 7:30pm; £7 After riotous performances at both Tramlines Festival and Rollerpallooza, Pulled Apart by Horses return to Sheffield for more.

All Films £2.20

Friday November 19: The Losers A thrilling comic book adaption, following a group of CIA members in their quest for revenge.

Fri 19

Laura Marling @ Leadmill; 7pm; £15 Join indie princess Laura Marling, fresh from releasing a new album, as she performs one of her intimate and accomplished live shows.

email: listings@forgetoday.com

Full Moon Party @ Plug; 10:30pm; £4.50 With Thai buckets, dance music aplenty and “more neon décor than you could shake a glow stick at,” Plug’s full moon party is sure to evoke memories of your expensive gap year.

John and Jehn @ The Forum; 8:30pm; Free Low-fi indie rock band from France bring their unique sound to Sheffield’s Forum. Their latest album Time For the Devil was released earlier this year.

Wednesday November 24: Vincere The story of Mussolini’s secret lover, Ida Dalser.

Friday November 26: Gladiator The famous Roman epic starring

Tues 23

The Tuesday Club @ Fusion & Foundry; 10:30pm; £6 The third installment of TTC’s 12th birthday celebrations sees the club welcome Rusko, Jagga and Eskmo, along with resident Andy H.

Russell Crowe as Maximus.

Saturday November 27: Expendables Directed by Sylvester Stallone, this fast-paced action film was a highlight of the summer Sunday November 28: The Ghost Writer A ghost writer, hired by a former British Prime Minister discovers some chilling secrets.

Wednesday December 1: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World The ever-present film sweetheart Michael Cera must defeat his new girlfriend’s seven evil exes.

All films are shown in the Union Auditorium at 19:30. Tickets cost £2.20 and can be bought from the Union Box Office or Union Shop.

Wed 24

Thurs 25

Titus Andronicus @ The Harley; 8pm; £8 The New Jersey band who cite Pulp and Neutral Milk Hotel among their influences play at The Harley with support from Love at Death Beach.

International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women Commemorative Talk @ Coffee Revolution; 6pm; Free A range of speakers from Amnesty International, Sheaf Domestic Abuse Project and more talk on the continuing problem of violence against women, and what can be done about it.

The Tempest @ Drama Studio; 7:30pm; £4-6 The latest offering from suTCo comes in the form of Shakespeare’s classic play, The Tempest. Running until Saturday, this is the final production of the company’s season.

Give it a Go: Turkish Coffee and Fortune Telling @ Gallery Room 3; 7pm; £4 Did you know that the word ‘coffee’ originated from the Anatolia word ‘kahve’? Drinking Turkish coffee is a centuries-old ritual and major part of Turkish tradition.

Learn about the history, preparation and serving style of Turkish coffee and the secrets of coffee cup fortune reading.

Bellowhead @ Leadmill; 7:30pm; £16 Folk aficionado Jon Boden is joined by a whole host of musicians.

Bellowhead have been dubbed the best live act in the country.

AIDS Awareness Workshop @ Gallery Room 2; 5pm; £2 Sheffield University Red Cross Society is offering a session that will help develop your understanding of the facts, myths and issues surrounding HIV and AIDS.

Sun 28

Mon 29

Tues 30

Wed 1

Thurs 2

Missing Andy @ Fusion; 7pm; £6.50 adv The runners up from Sky TV’s Must be the Music, presented by Fearne Cotton, appear at the Union to showcase their latest material. Fearne will not be accompanying them.

Give it a Go: Bouldering @ Goodwin Sports Centre Matrix Wall; 8pm; £5 Learn how to use the climbing wall safely and effectively, along with some expert techniques.

All That Remains @ Corporation; 6pm; £13 adv Melodic Death Metal from the American headline band, plus sets from Soilwork, Caliban, Bleed From Within and Neaera.

The Quireboys @ O2 Academy; 7pm; £15 After their first ever show in Brazil, the UK’s favourite rock & rollers are back on home turf for their December tour.

Support from The Dan Reed Band.

Sheffield’s Affordable Vintage Fair @ The Workstation; 11am; £1 At the last vintage fair before Christmas you can gaze upon threads from decades past, and hopefully find a designer bargain or two.

Film Unit Pub Quiz @ The Common Room; 9:30pm; £2 Come and test your cinema knowledge in Film Unit’s pub quiz with a twist. Film posters, movie tickets and a meal for two are up for grabs.

Out of the Ashes @ The Showroom; 2pm; £6.40 Documentary which follows the Afghan cricket team in their quest against the odds to qualify for the 2011 World Cup.

Stiletto Magazine Alternative Bar Crawl @ The Bowery; 7:00pm; £4-5 A repeat of last year’s alternative soirée, visiting some of Sheffield’s classier establishments for cocktails and fun.

Bad Education @ High Tor 5, The Edge; 7pm; Free Brought to you by the LGBT committee, this film is an examination on the effect of Franco-era religious schooling and sexual abuse on the lives of two long time friends.

Paul Weller @ Sheffield Arena; 7:30pm; £35 adv Often called the hardest working man in Rock, Paul Weller is back on tour and set to play a date in Sheffield. Expect to hear plenty of rock and roll sounds, both new and classic.

Me and My Girl @ The Crucible; 7:30pm; £12 Packed with joyful classics – ‘The Sun Has Got His Hat On’, ‘Leaning on a Lampost’ and ‘The Lambeth Walk’, Me and My Girl is a true musical theatre classic.

Andy Kirkpatrick - Off the Wall @ Foundry; 7pm; £9.50 Internationally acclaimed mountaineer, writer and comedian Andy Kirkpatrick is back by popular demand with his third stand-up show.