FW Jul 24

JEJ Photos

Born into Beauty:

AN INTERVIEW WITH NINA NGUYEN

Many hairstylists feel the “call” at an early age, but Nina Nguyen was born into the beauty industry. Her parents are Vietnamese immigrants in the nail business, so self-care and beauty have always been a big part of her life. In 2019, Nina officially embarked on her journey to become a hairstylist. She studied at Leon’s Beauty School and worked in her own studio in Greensboro before finding the perfect work home at Alkali Hair Studio.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO DO HAIR INSTEAD OF NAILS?

I’ve always loved the hair industry, but I started doing nails first. I’m not sure if it was from all the nail dust or chemical exposure, but I developed an allergy that caused terrible coughing attacks while doing nails, so this career path didn’t last long. It was just as well though, as I didn’t want to be another stereotypical Asian nail technician.

WHAT’S YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE SERVICE?

If I have to choose a favorite, it’d be color because of how creative it allows me to be. My specialty is blonding. I’ve always struggled to find stylists skilled in lightening hair as dark as mine, so I made it my personal mission to learn how to do it well.

WHAT TYPE OF CLIENT BEST MATCHES YOUR PERSONALITY?

I’m pretty talkative but adapt well to different personalities and preferences. When you’re in my chair, it’s all about YOU. I also love my LGBTQIA+ peeps and would love to work more with them. It’s important to me that they feel safe—a feeling I wish I’d had when I was younger.

SPEAKING OF PERSONALITY, WHAT’S YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? DOES IT FIT YOU?

I’m an Aries! My moon is Leo and my rising is Cancer. Everything you hear about me is 110% correct! like to think of myself as a triple threat, but in a good way. I’m a woman, a minority, and part of the Alphabet Mafia.

OUTSIDE OF BEAUTY, WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO FOR FUN?

I’m a huge outdoors fan! My husband and I hit the trails on our bikes every chance we get. I’m also a foodie. I love trying new places to eat. Asian foods are my favorite, especially sushi and Vietnamese.

ANYTHING ELSE YOU’D LIKE YOUR CURRENT AND POTENTIAL CLIENTS TO KNOW?

I’m a big goofball. I love having fun and being silly. I’m also fluent in Vietnamese and recently started learning Spanish. have a lot of Hispanic friends and have always wanted to understand their language more. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if I was Hispanic in my past life—dancing Bachata is like my love language!

Searching for a stylist who has a knack for helping you choose the right cut and color for your face shape and personality, makes you feel safe, and goes out of their way to make you a priority?

You can stop looking now. Book your appointment with Nina today!

hile recording a podcast a few days ago, I had a powerful conversation with one of our writers, Debbie Barr. Debbie recently published four books (yes, FOUR), and one of them is on the topic of overwhelm. We chatted about how life feels more overwhelming than ever these days, and the instantaneous spreading of worldwide news is partially to blame. I don’t believe our brains were wired to handle hearing about this much sadness in our world. It feels overwhelming and helpless. We talked about setting boundaries with how much (bad) news we are allowing ourselves to hear, and that setting this boundary doesn’t mean we don’t care. In fact, it means just the opposite. If we didn’t care, it wouldn’t affect us so strongly. It’s because we DO care so much that it’s painful for us to hear about all of the horrible things going on in the world.

Unfortunately, some bad things hit closer to home and we can’t avoid them. Just a couple of hours ago, I was just told news of a family friend dying in a car crash, and can feel my heart physically sinking. It’s hard to understand why such bad things happen to good people. Life really isn’t fair, is it?

In times of sadness like this, it reminds us that life is short. Too short to hold grudges. Too short not to forgive. Too short to let those silly unimportant things get to you. I know it is cliché, but let this be your reminder to tell your family and friends you love them. A lot. Give them a hug. Pick up the phone and call them. Make plans to spend time together.

While we pride ourselves in being an uplifting and positive magazine, sometimes life is really hard and really sad, and that’s okay.

However, in the spirit of finding light even in the tough times, we are excited to share the highlights from our July issue with you. This month, we have a collection of inspiring stories that we hope will bring a smile to your face and warmth to your heart.

Here’s what you can look forward to in our July issue:

- Debbie Lanier’s Keeping It Real column (page 14)

- Our cover feature on the WinstonSalem Police Department – featuring recruit Alexandra Montgomery (beginning on page 52)

- SECU Family House presents Men Who Cook – an inspiring fundraising event (page 60)

- iChoose Joy Brunch recap – an event honoring men, women and children who have fought or are still fighting various cancers

- And so much more!

Despite the challenges we face, there is always something to celebrate and for which to be grateful. We hope this issue brings you joy and inspiration.

Sending you lots of love,

Brooke Eagle, @brooke__eagle Publisher

Brooke Eagle

Brooke@ForsythMags.com

EDITOR

Keela Johnson

Keela@ForsythMags.com

SENIOR ACCOUNT

EXECUTIVE

Tamara Bodford

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE

Robin Bralley

ADVERTISING

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COVER PHOTOGRAPHER

JEJ Photos

CONTRIBUTING

PHOTOGRAPHERS

JEJ Photos

Jodie Brim Creative

*others credited throughout accordingly

CONTENT EDITOR

Meghan Corbett

SENIOR STAFF WRITERS

Martie Emory

Carolyn Peterson

OTHER CONTRIBUTING

WRITERS

Jane Burnette

Karen Cooper

Suzy Fielders

Amy Hill

Taryn Jerez

Jean Marie Johnson

Michael Johnson

Tanner Johnson

Debbie Lanier

Halleigh Milleson

Lauren Sephton

Renee Skudra

Leslie Speas

Sheridan Watkins

Rachel Zimmer

*others credited throughout accordingly

GRAPHIC DESIGN & PRODUCTION

Laurie Dalton

Stefanie Lyons

WEB DESIGN/ MAINTENANCE

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CONTACT

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IMPATIENCE

Whether you work or not, there is something about Friday at about 4:00 p.m. that may beckon you to step back from whatever it is that keeps you busy all week and slip into weekend mode. It’s like clockwork for me.

On a recent Friday afternoon spent wrapping up a few practical loose ends, was stopped dead in my tracks by a “scheduled bank withdrawal” in the amount of $900. What IS this? I rifled through my bills, my files, my notes – and nothing could possibly explain this impending withdrawal. I felt the panic rise – I’ve been getting a lot of phishing emails lately. Could it be related to that? Does a nefarious someone have my personal account information and is about to wipe me out? What is going on here? I’ll call the bank.

I felt my heart rate increase along with the pace of my words as I explained the situation. I was referred to another person in the fraud department who politely put me on hold at least twice and then proceeded to tell me all of the steps I needed to take to protect myself should this indeed be that nefarious stranger trying to steal from me. My head was spinning.

However, as the great bard once said, “All’s well that ends well.” And, thus it was on this Friday afternoon because when I took a breath, calmed myself a bit and started to think more rationally, I was able to determine that the $900 withdrawal

My $900 Story

My $900 Story

by JEAN MARIE JOHNSON

was an “anticipated” one based on a prior withdrawal I had made the previous month. Oh, duh.

I hope I haven’t gotten you too lost in the weeds of my Friday tale, because the point is really about my struggle with impatience.

The Oxford Dictionary defines “impatient” as “having or showing a tendency to be quickly irritated or provoked.” Well, that certainly applies to me. But, digging deeper, I learned that impatience is a very particular mental and physical process that gets triggered under specific circumstances. True again. But, here’s the piece that really resonated – at the very root of impatience is fear – a feeling of frustration and being out of control. That is exactly what was feeling that Friday afternoon.

Impatience creates physiological stress in the body and messes with our ability to think clearly. The curious thing is that our impatience is indeed situational. Some folks grow impatient when they feel it’s taking too long to achieve a goal or when obstacles are put in their way. That doesn’t describe me. For me, it’s about a threat of some kind or, to be honest, having to deal with an annoying chore or task – like cleaning the bathroom, again – that makes me impatient.

I don’t like how impatience makes me think or how it scrambles my mind. I don’t like how

it makes me sometimes say things that I wish I could take back or act in ways that I regret. My $900 scare and the distress it caused me could have been nipped in the bud had I responded differently, period.

I plan to take Jeremy Godwin’s wise words to heart: “Patience is a mindset. You get to choose what you do with your feelings, and so the more you learn how to be patient, the more you’ll be able to find greater peace of mind.”

And, then I am going to pursue these wise actions:

• Identify when I am experiencing the signs of impatience.

• Recognize my triggers – fear, annoyance and so on.

• Choose another emotion to shift to – calmness.

• Practice mindfulness – stay present, engaged and focused.

• Slow down – rushing only results in muddled thinking and frenetic action. It also causes me to break things!

• Take deep breaths when I’m in the midst of impatience.

• Put the situation in perspective –“stuff” happens from time to time. I will get through this!

Body Sculpting

Keeping It Real

CAN YOU DO IT IN THE DARK?

by DR. DEBBIE LANIER

The craziness around us seems to keep ramping up, doesn’t it? If we’re not facing REALLY hard things, then certainly we’re watching people we love hit walls that leave them gasping for breath.

When I think of doing hard things, I can’t help but consider the most decorated Olympic swimmer of all time. Michael Phelps won 28 medals in his Olympic career – 23 gold! It sounds superhuman, but to understand his road to success, we must consider the most critical pieces of Phelps’ years of development behind the scenes.

Coach Bob Bowman trained Phelps for challenging conditions. This veteran coach had watched many athletes crack under pressure in competition, so he devoted his days to preparing Phelps for every conceivable adversity.

For instance, he intentionally poked holes in the swimmer’s goggles. (What kind of coach does that?!) But, Bowman knew, if Phelps could learn to keep swimming when water breached his equipment and obscured his vision, he wouldn’t panic.

Other times, this coach would let Phelps start his laps, then switch off all the lights in the pool. It sounds mean, but Phelps learned to swim in the dark. It forced him to count the strokes on each turn, so he didn’t plow into the wall when he could not depend on his sight.

Let’s take a quick time-out! Can you do what you do in the dark? Can you keep going when everything you thought you could count on but Jesus has crumbled underneath you? Can you?

Stay with me.

It was 10:00 a.m, Beijing time. Phelps positioned himself at the starting block just as he had hundreds of times since he was 12 years old. He was ready…or so he thought.

The moment Phelps hit the water, something went terribly wrong. Water started to fill his goggles! He was in trouble! By the second turn, everything blurred. By the third turn, water completely engulfed his eyewear. He couldn’t see the lines, the bottom, the wall…NOTHING. His victory was under siege!

In that moment, Phelps realized all those challenging conditions his coach had pushed upon him were the only reason he still even had a chance!

He knew he had 21 strokes left to reach the wall in the final lap. He began to push with all he had. He could hear the crowds cheering but had no idea if they were cheering for him or someone beating him. He just kept pressing with all the strength he could muster, regardless of who was ahead.

When Phelps reached the wall and ripped off his waterlogged goggles, he looked up at the board. He had to look twice! There it

was…his name at the top! And, right beside it…“WR.” Y’all! WR means world record!

Not only did Phelps win gold under the most challenging conditions of any race he’d ever faced, but he also broke his record and EVERY record…of ALL TIME!

When everything went sideways and seemed certain to sabotage his victory, the hard things he did when nobody was looking made the greatest difference. That’s when he realized his coach had made it hard early on so Phelps could pass every test later on!

Friend, I don’t know what you’re facing. It may feel like every kind of crazy has come to sabotage your race. But, this I know! If you saturate yourself in God’s directives and allow Him to train you for every situation, YOU WILL be able to keep pushing through, NO MATTER WHAT!

The very thing that causes others to quit will serve as fuel for your moving. Not only will you come out triumphant on the other side, but you will also thrive right through the turmoil and turbulence while others buckle. The very thing that seeks to defeat you will thrust you forward toward the victory line!

Hear me! You can do it…even in the dark!

For comments or prayer, please contact Dr. Lanier at HopeCommunityChurch.tv.

Don’t Miss Out!

Limited Laurel Apartment Homes Remain at Brookridge.

Live the life you deserve at Brookridge! Spacious one-bedroom Laurel Apartment Homes are filling up fast. Don’t miss your chance to experience carefree retirement living in a vibrant community.

HERE’S WHAT AWAITS YOU:

• Exclusive amenities: Indoor pool, delicious dining, fitness center, salon, library, and more!

• Maintenance-free living: Relax and let us take care of everything.

• Wooded oasis: Enjoy peace and tranquility on our beautiful 46-acre campus.

• World of opportunities: Explore the best of Winston-Salem right at your doorstep.

THESE STUNNING APARTMENTS WON’T LAST LONG! Call us today at (336) 759-1044 or scan the QR code to schedule a tour and secure your spot at Brookridge.

5 WAYS to Cultivate A Culture of Good Humor in Your Workplace

by JEAN MARIE JOHNSON

DID YOU KNOW THAT:

The average four-year-old laughs up to 300 times a day?

AND, IN CONTRAST:

The average 40-year-old only laughs about three times per day?

That’s no laughing matter because not only is laughter good for us, but positive, healthy humor in the workplace contributes to:

• Creating a lighter mood

• Reducing stress

• Faster interpersonal bonding

• A greater sense of belonging

• Better perceived leader performance

• Overall workplace cohesion

• Improved mental health

• Closer relationships

• Reduced inhibitions

• More happily resolved disagreements

While put downs, zingers, dings and gotchas have no place in a healthy workplace, positive humor that doesn’t snipe at or demean people is clearly beneficial! Here are five things every one of us can do to foster a “good humor” culture:

ACCEPT PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY

Remind yourself that how you use humor is a choice. Every moment of humor can be so appropriate that your coworker wants to have another laugh with you. Okay, so that sounds a little kooky, but the intention is pure. Give it a try – hold yourself accountable by asking yourself if your joke is in good humor or not.

KEEP SMILING

Elizabeth Scott, M.S., reinforces the fact that smiling is its own reward. Because it helps to release endorphins, it “...can lead you

to actually feeling more happy (rather than just looking more happy). If you are able to put a smile on your face, the laughter will come more easily and the stress will melt more readily.” I’ve been practicing this for a while, especially during life’s rough spots. For me, it works.

SEEK OUT THE POSITIVE

It’s always there, but you may have to look a bit. Tooling down the highway one afternoon, the pickup truck ahead of me slowed to a near stop, then made an arc to the left. As I proceeded cautiously, I felt the pure exhilaration of watching a mama duck cross the road with eight(!) tiny ducklings waddling in lockstep behind her. Yes, I have been talking about it ever since because I can’t stop smiling – and laughing to myself – whenever that beautiful, silly, iconic image comes to mind.

REFRAME YOUR RANTS

Many psychologists recommend reframing or thinking differently about the things that are out of our control, the ones that bug us. Some specifically suggest that we see the humor in them. Now, this may take some serious “reframing” if your tendency is to fume. I’ve learned to shrug my shoulders and marvel at the fact that nine out of 10 times, I will end up in the loooooongest line at the checkout. Regardless of my line hopping, it’s futile; I do it anyway. And, end up thinking, ironically, how funny is this?

DEVELOP A RADAR FOR GOOD HUMOR

Share jokes and spontaneous joy that provide you with an opportunity to laugh with others and not at them. I walked into a Dunkin’ Donuts the other day while en route to an appointment that weighed heavily on me. The server behind the counter was doing this joyful little dance that caught my eye and moved my soul, just when I really needed it. Because somewhere along the way, I stopped worrying about looking the fool; I spontaneously joined in from my side of the counter. We both laughed hysterically. Dancing in DD on a Thursday afternoon, are you serious? was being silly. And, why not?

Good humor is available to all of us if we look for it and seek to create it. Remember that laughter is good for you. It reduces your stress and improves your outlook. And, when we share good humor with the people around us, laughter does even more – it connects us to one another. That’s priceless.

Browlift , Necklift , lift Face

Though cosmetic surgery may not be for everyone, this does not mean that it should not be for anyone. When hearing that a friend or family member is either considering or is scheduled for a cosmetic procedure, some folks cringe while others may roll their eyes. However, people cite many reasons for having cosmetic surgery – some that are personal, and some that make pretty good sense. For example, as some folks (male or female) compete in the modern marketplace, seeking a new job or advancement in their career, understandably, they want to look their best. Other folks may have aged more quickly than their sibling, spouse, or child and simply want to look as young as their cohorts. Finally, many people seeking cosmetic facial plastic surgery procedures just want “to look as young, or as good, as they feel.” The goal of a facelift can be stated in many ways, but most would agree that such a procedure can make a person look 10-15 years younger. A facelift should maintain a person’s unique traits. After a facelift a person should still look like themselves -- but they should look like they once did 10-15 years ago. A facelift should leave a person looking very natural. There should not be a pulled or stretched appearance to the face after a facelift.

Anatomically speaking, the surgeon’s objectives during a facelift are to put facial tissues “back where they once were”. Areas that can be rejuvenated during a facelift include the neck or “turkey gobbler,” the jowls or jaw line, the cheek mound, and the forehead and brows. Certainly, a facelift is NOT a “one-size- fits-all” kind of operation. A facelift should be thought of, prescribed, and performed based on an individual’s interests and aging face changes. Improving a patient’s ‘chief complaint’ should always be the goal of any operation. A surgeon’s expertise is also important in the evaluation of a patient seeking cosmetic surgery. While a patient may think they want upper eyelid surgery (a.k.a. “blepharoplasty”), an experienced surgeon may suggest that an ideal result could be achieved with lifting of the brows in addition to upper eyelid surgery. There are certainly aging face changes that are NOT improved with a facelift.

Certain qualities of the skin, such as discoloration and very fine wrinkles, cannot be fixed by lifting procedures, but can often be improved by other skin procedures or skin care regimens. Other cosmetic procedures, including injectable products, such as Botox and facial fillers, cannot achieve the same results as a facelift, but they certainly have a valuable place in today’s facial plastic surgery treatment choices. Unfortunately, these ‘injectables’ are temporary cures for long term problems. Believe it or not, plastic surgery may not be as expensive as most people expect. Cosmetic surgery is no longer only for the rich and famous. Though some may find cosmetic surgery either vain or frivolous, others do not consider spending money on a facelift any different than buying designer clothes, driving a luxury car, or traveling to an expensive destination. Even though our bodies and faces will always continue to age, a person who has undergone a facelift will always look years younger than their actual age because a facelift lasts forever. A facelift should not only achieve an impressive and gratifying result, but having this procedure should be a reasonable process. There should be minimal discomfort. “Down-time’ will be approximately 1-2 weeks and it is after about 2 weeks that most folks are out and about again. After someone has healed from a facelift, it is common for a person to receive an abundance of compliments from people who can’t quite tell exactly why a person now looks so good. When a person who has recently had a facelift prepares for a class reunion or an annual family gathering, they should prepare to answer certain questions. ‘Wow, you look great. What have you done differently? Have you lost weight? Were you just on vacation? What kind of vitamins are you taking?” Certainly, many people enjoy telling their friends and family what they have done, but for plenty of other folks, it remains a delightful secret.

For more information on aging face consults, call us at (336)747-3737. To

COOPER SCURRY, M.D.

by TARYN JEREZ

A monthly column that keeps its finger on the pulse of Forsyth’s artists and their inspiring stories!

Issis Kelly, MD | Painter and Muralist

This month’s featured creator, Issis Kelly, uses her rhythmic blend of soft movements and shapes to invite viewers to lose themselves in fluid forms and immersive art experiences.

How would you describe your work?

My paintings are a rhythmic blend of soft movement and shapes you can get lost in. I use alcohol inks and acrylic inks. With a mix of abstraction and realism, each art piece invites viewers to explore and find their path within the fluid forms and vibrant colors. I am obsessed with the sense of awe generated when people create, so I truly enjoy designing art experiences, including workshops, community murals, teambuilding events and festivals.

What influences your art?

I’m always co-creating with the inks on my abstracts, drawing inspiration from the current colors of the season. Additionally, I’m greatly influenced by the stories of the people and places I encounter, especially when creating murals.

How have you evolved, personally, as an artist? was 17 when I started teaching and selling art, focusing on representative depictions of people and nature using academic techniques. During Covid, while still in my healthcare career, discovered inks and replaced my use of acrylics. In September 2023, decided to make art the main focus and left my healthcare job and became a full time artist. Today, I’m an Art in Medicine Artist, interested in how art can improve the quality of life by enjoying art or participating in art making. My paintings are designed to guide the viewer’s eye, convey emotions and capture attention from the frantic day-to-day to bring them into the present. My art teachings have evolved into experiences that break down academic techniques into simple steps, surprising participants when they realize they can achieve projects they never thought possible!

How do you carve out time to be creative? stopped creating consistently when my kids were small and my career in clinical research was all consuming, but thankfully, life has a way of rearranging itself.The most effective method to carve out time has been to have a recurring block in my calendar dedicated to studio time. This has only been possible by learning to delegate and accepting all the help I can get in other areas of life.

Do you have a favorite story behind one of your projects and why?

The Hispanic League mural is particularly special to me. I was selected to create this mural in their new office at the Intergenerational for Art and Wellness. This project connects me with my multiple identities as Latina, Dominican and North Carolinian. It was a community project that brought people together and allowed me to celebrate the rich cultural heritage of our community. The mural represents all the Latin American countries, including their national flowers, offering a quick visual journey from Patagonia to the Triad. love it when people see themselves in the mural, creating a sense of belonging and unity.

What are you working on that excites you right now?

I’m currently excited to be one of the project managers and artist leads for Creative Community Day, an Arts and Health Fair on July 27th. The festival is created by the Winston-Salem “Arts for EveryBody” initiative, which is part of a national group that includes 17 other cities having festivals on the same day. During the festival, four visual artists, including myself, will create a large-scale art piece with the community’s help. This art piece will then go on a touring exhibition among all the collaborating institutions to highlight our community’s creation!

We will offer art experiences, a kid’s area, health screenings, food and other services – all free to the public, in celebration of Winston-Salem’s commitment to healing through the arts.

What is one piece of advice you’d like to share with fellow artists, especially those at the start of their careers?

Connect with other artists! There are multiple ways to reach out, like joining art associations and attending local art events like the Creative Community Day or Artist Thrive Summit. Participating in Winston-Salem’s monthly Art Crush event is a great start!

If you are interested in learning more about this month’s artist, Issis Kelly, you can find her work online at IssisKelly.com as well as follow her on Instagram @IssisKellyArt. If you’d like more information about attending Creative Community Day on Saturday, July 27th from 10:00 a.m. – 3:00 p.m., check out artsforeverybody.org/winston-salem-nc.

WEIGHT FLUCTUATIONS: Understanding the Ups and Downs

by JANE BURNETTE healthcoachjane.com

IG @coachjanebb FB @coachjanebb

When struggling with scale fluctuations, read this! And then, read it again! The scale can be a tricky tool for tracking progress, but it does have its place when used appropriately. What does “appropriately” mean? Using only the scale to track progress and dictate changes is a HUGE disservice. If the goal is to change body composition (lose body fat or build muscle), the scale should NOT be used alone.

Combine the data from the scale with other tracking metrics to get a full picture of body composition changes. Additionally, getting caught up in daily scale numbers can drive anyone absolutely CRAZY...for NO reason! Many factors impact the number on the scale in a 24-hour, 48-hour or even week-long timeframe.

HERE’S WHAT THE DAY-TO-DAY SCALE NUMBER ACTUALLY REFLECTS:

Hydration Status and Electrolyte Balance:

Electrolytes (magnesium, potassium and especially sodium) control water balance and cell hydration. If electrolyte levels are off, fluid balance shifts, leading to changes in water weight. A sodiumheavy meal can cause temporary water retention, not fat gain. For example, if someone goes out to dinner at their favorite Mexican restaurant and wakes up the next morning three pounds heavier, they didn’t gain three pounds of fat overnight...they just consumed a lot more sodium than usual, and their body is retaining extra water.

Food Residue in the Gut:

Undigested food moving through the colon can weigh three to seven pounds depending on the diet. High-fiber foods tend to produce more residue.

Bowel Movements:

It’s common to see the scale drop after a bowel movement.

Carbohydrate Intake:

For every gram of carbohydrate stored in the body (as glycogen), there are approximately three to four grams of water retained. If someone has fewer carbs during the week and then goes out to eat on Friday night, indulging in some extra bread or a slice of pizza, the scale will likely jump up on Saturday morning...IT’S JUST WATER!

Exercise:

Workouts can cause water loss or retention. Sweating during exercise leads to water and electrolyte loss, dropping the scale. Resistance training causes muscle micro-tears and inflammation, leading to temporary water retention.

Menstrual Cycle:

Hormones like progesterone and estrogen naturally rise and fall throughout the month. During the luteal phase (between ovulation and the start of menstruation), progesterone levels rise and can cause less water retention. As progesterone drops during the late luteal phase (PMS week), there can be a rebound effect causing water retention. The surge in estrogen during the follicular phase (between the first day of the period and ovulation) can also cause more sodium and water retention. Therefore, during the late follicular phase (around days 10-14) and the late luteal phase (around days 26-28), it’s more likely to retain water and see the number on the scale rise.

Stress and Sleep:

Chronic stress raises cortisol levels, causing water retention. Lack of sleep affects kidney function, influencing sodium and water balance. High stress and/or lack of sleep can cause the scale to rise.

SO,

WHAT DOES MATTER?

Using the scale to assess weekly averages and long-term trends. A downward or upward trend in scale weight over time generally correlates with body fat loss or muscle/fat gain. Tracking weekly and monthly averages helps assess changes when combined with other metrics:

• Weekly/Bi-Weekly body tape measurements

• Monthly progress pictures

• Performance increases during training (i.e., getting stronger over time)

• How clothes fit

• How one feels

Ideally, weighing oneself a minimum of four times per week at the same time each day (every day is best for a seven-day rolling average) bypasses daily fluctuations and creates a trend line showing true loss or gain over time. This should be done first thing in the morning, before eating or drinking, after using the restroom and nude.

MAIN

TAKEAWAY:

Short-term changes in body weight are practically meaningless, while longer-term changes tend to represent more accurate progress. Don’t let day-to-day scale fluctuations affect your mindset – they DO NOT MATTER!

WEEKLY DRINK SPECIALS

PEOPLE OF PROMINENCE SERIES

by MICHAEL JOHNSON

Danny Narvaez

Danny Narvaez is someone who is making a difference in our community and overseas. He was nominated as a person of prominence for his outreach efforts to those in need. He is well versed in how to affect lives of the needy and those who are hurting locally and abroad.

WHERE DID YOU GROW UP, AND WHAT WERE YOUR FORMATIVE YEARS LIKE? ANY OBVIOUS PATH TO YOUR CURRENT PURSUITS?

grew up in southern California near the ocean; that was my place of comfort. I grew up being physically abused by a father who was a pastor. He used to punch me in the face, whip me 30 plus times with a belt, throw me in rose bushes and throw baseballs at me. My mom was on the worship team and divorced my dad when I was 12. She turned to alcohol and was viciously verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive. I became the protector of my three siblings and have a desire to stand up and protect those who cannot defend themselves.

WAS THERE ANY EVENT OR INSTANCE THAT INFORMED WHO YOU ARE TODAY?

found Jesus. I hated religion. The hypocrisy of most. I turned to drugs, alcohol and violence. I beat up bullies. I was in pain and anguish. Numbing the pain of my childhood any way I could. But, I realized Jesus hated it, too. And, when surrendered my heart over to Him, I finally found true bliss. I found peace. I just want to love God and love people.

DESCRIBE WHAT YOU ARE FOCUSED ON TODAY TO IMPROVE THE LIVES OF OTHERS.

Today, I have a coffee ministry called Love Brews Hope where I go downtown once a week (unless it rains) and give out about 100 cups of coffee, water bottles, pastries and clothes to those that are hurting, homeless or addicted. try to offer them prayer or point them to Christ. I try to help people find peace.

WHAT SHOULD OUR READERSHIP KNOW ABOUT YOUR WORK, AND WHAT WOULD SURPRISE THEM ABOUT THE PLIGHT OF SOME PEOPLE YOU ARE FOCUSED ON?

am currently raising support to be a missionary full time and build an orphanage in Asia where tribal kids are being exploited into labor and sex trafficking. I have a heart for these kids that cannot stand up for themselves. want to save these children, show them a genuine love and introduce them to peace.

TELL US WHY ACTIVISM OR SOCIAL CHANGE IS SO CRITICAL.

believe activism and social change is only as important as the moral standard that’s adhered to. Without wisdom and direction, these things can be dangerous and aren’t to be taken lightly. If fueled by hate and malice, they can be dangerous. These things should be fueled by love, joy and peace for others. A genuine, selfless love. Not selfish.

WHAT DO YOU NEED FROM PEOPLE TO MAKE YOUR WORK EVEN MORE SUCCESSFUL OR SEEN?

I need prayer. Lots of it. There’s so much power in consistent prayer. Ongoing monthly support is also extremely important. I’m at more than half of my monthly support goal and 3/4 of the way to building the orphanage. Please encourage people to pray for me, daily.

I have a Venmo @lovebrewshope or, if people want to sign up for recurring monthly payments or one time donations, with a tax receipt for tax purposes, they can give at:

allegrosolutions.org/give and it is important to give with the designation code “LoveBrewsHope.DJN”

WHO WOULD YOU NOMINATE AS A LOCAL PERSON OF PROMINENCE?

Kathy Byerly – she has a heart to love people in the community and is always trying to help wherever she can. She started a ministry called Helping Hands. Helping Hands Ministry is helping the homeless, the hungry, the impoverished and the hurting. They are empowering those they are helping. Be sure to look it up on Facebook!

Summer Inflation Beating Specials

Every night of the week from 3pm - close

Monday - Wednesday

Free Dessert Slice with the Purchase of Two Comfort Foods Entrees

Thursday - $10 all burgers

*new burger feature every Thursday*

Funny or Not So Much?: Get a Handle on Humor in Your Workplace

by JEAN MARIE JOHNSON

We all love a good laugh when the source of that laughter is well-intentioned, well-timed and downright funny.

And laughter loves us. A good, hearty laugh reduces our stress and bolsters our immune system. It exercises our diaphragm and provides a great workout for our heart. We can almost feel these effects when we laugh so hard that our belly hurts. As a young child might say, “Can we do that again?” Oh yeah!

Laughter also affects our overall sense of well being. It helps us to shift our focus from the emotions that drain us – such as anger and guilt, and allows us to adopt a more lighthearted, hopeful perspective about the things we fear and those that weigh us down.

BAD HUMOR: THAT WASN’T FUNNY

Not everything that is “funny” can be classified as “good humor.” An off-hand comment flung in our direction can sting. It catches us by surprise and makes us wonder if the person behind the remark was trying to be funny or had a more sinister intent. Comments that don’t feel quite right have a way of staying with us, making us much more cautious and guarded with our co-workers.

Psychologist Dr. Joni Johnston observes: “Our bodies are as sensitive as our feelings; we physiologically respond to hurtful remarks as if our bodies were under attack.”

So much for being funny.

THE STING OF SARCASM

While cheap shots are sometimes blatant and unmistakable, sarcastic comments may be even more pervasive. These attempts at humor are often intended to both mock and amuse:

Todd: “I benched 250 last night!”

Craig: “Well, I guess I’ll just have to call you Superman. Hey, Superman, do you think you can get that report done?”

A visual image of that comic book hero might indeed conjure up some amusement...those tights, that screaming S. But, if you’re Todd, and benching 250 is a personal milestone for you, Craig’s comment may feel like an intentional putdown: Was he just trying to be funny? And, what’s up with the report? Does Craig have an issue with me working on it…why else would he bring it up?

A good laugh is good for us, but when it comes at the expense of another person, it’s just plain ugly.

The mean-spiritedness of sarcasm often acts as a cover for personal needs or frustrations.

For example, “Craig” may use sarcasm because he:

• Needs to get the upper hand to feel better about himself.

• Feels under-appreciated by Todd and is taking it out on him.

• Has a legitimate concern about Todd’s contribution but doesn’t know how to address it openly with him.

A CULTURE OF SARCASM

Leadership Consultant Cynthia Clay notes, “Work teams often develop sarcastic banter as a way of relating to one another. Sometimes one or two people take the brunt of these jokes. But…sarcasm destroys relationships and reduces productivity over time. The repeated victims of sarcasm may suffer in silence rather than speak up and be attacked again. As motivation and morale is eroded, the ability of the team to collaborate deteriorates.”

HOW TO STOP SARCASM IN ITS TRACKS

Clay offers these suggestions for banishing bad humor:

1. When a snappy, sarcastic comment forms in your brain, practice leaving it right there; let it pass.

2. Notice when your “humor” has a target. Learn to cultivate humor that doesn’t require a victim and diminishes no one.

3. Recognize when something is bugging you. Get clear about it. Then, make a direct observation about your concern and invite open discussion. Awkwardness is a small price to pay for earning someone’s respect and collaboration.

Craig might have thought about Superman, then paused. He might have simply said “Cool!” paused again, collected his thoughts and added: “Hey, Todd, let me know when you have a minute to talk about that CO2 project. I’m a little concerned about the timeline.”

In a recent study, 70% of people reported they’d heard jokes that snipe at a person’s age, sexual orientation or weight. A full 40% admitted to making such jokes themselves. Other “popular” subjects of bad humor include a person’s accent, hygiene, work habits or relationship with the boss.

for Health

As summer’s warm embrace settles in, there’s no better time to invite friends (old and new!) to your home to gather. We believe that the heart of summer lies in fostering connections and creating memorable moments. Here are some tips for hosting intimate, hygge-inspired summer socials emphasizing comfort, joy, and sustainability.

SETTING THE SCENE

Begin by transforming your outdoor space into a space that invites relaxation and conversation. Consider using sustainable, fair-trade furniture and décor. Handwoven linens, bamboo chairs, and locally made reclaimed wood tables add a touch of rustic elegance and give you space to tell a story of conscious choices. Some of my favorite linens are Turkish cotton, which gets softer with age.

String lights and lanterns create a magical atmosphere as the sun sets, casting a warm glow that enhances a peaceful, inviting vibe. For natural beauty, incorporate potted plants and fresh flowers from local markets. Their vibrant colors and fresh scents will add life to your gathering.

Studies show that our surroundings significantly impact mood and stress levels. Soft lighting and natural elements promote relaxation by triggering the release of serotonin, the “feel-good” neurotransmitter. By creating a soothing and aesthetically pleasing space, you’re supporting your and your guests’ mental well-being.

SIMPLE AND DELICIOUS: SEASONAL MENUS

When it comes to food, simplicity is key. Focus on fresh, locally sourced ingredients to create a menu that celebrates the flavors of summer. Think colorful salads with heirloom tomatoes, crisp cucumbers, watermelon, and fragrant basil. Grilled vegetables and seasonal fruits like peaches

Summer Socials: Hosting

Hygge-Inspired Gatherings

by RACHEL ZIMMER hyggeabode.com

and berries can be transformed into delicious dishes that delight the senses!

Consider a communal meal such as a build-your-own taco bar or a Mediterraneaninspired feast with falafel, hummus, and fresh pita for the main course. These options accommodate various dietary preferences and encourage guests to interact and share.

Create a self-serve drink station with infused waters, herbal teas, spritzers, and homemade lemonade. For a special touch, craft a signature cocktail using fresh herbs and fruits, like a lavender-infused gin and tonic or a sparkling rosemary lemonade.

Eating seasonally and locally provides higher nutritional value compared to outof-season produce. Seasonal fruits and vegetables, picked at their peak ripeness, ensure maximum nutrient content and flavor. The range of antioxidants in summer produce also boosts your immune system and overall health, making your gatherings enjoyable, delish, and nourishing!

CREATING CONNECTION: ACTIVITIES AND ATMOSPHERE

Think about including activities that foster connection and joy. Set up a cozy lounge area with plenty of cushions and blankets where guests can relax and chat. Incorporate conversation starter cards or a gratitude jar where guests can share what they’re thankful for this summer. Organize simple games like bocce ball, croquet, or a friendly round of cards for fun. These activities provide light-hearted entertainment and encourage guests to relax. Music is also essential! Curate a

playlist that complements the evening’s ambiance. Acoustic guitar, gentle jazz, or nature sounds can enhance the serene atmosphere and make guests feel at ease.

MINDFUL HOSTING

As the host, your presence sets the tone. Embrace the moment and be present with your guests. Greet each person warmly, engage in meaningful conversations, and show genuine interest in their stories. Strong connections improve mental health, lower anxiety and depression, and increase lifespan. So, slow down and enjoy it!

The essence of hygge is found in simple pleasures and the warmth of togetherness. Creating a comfortable, inviting space and focusing on genuine connections allows you to host summer socials that leave a lasting impression. As you plan your summer gatherings, let the principles of hygge guide you in fostering a sense of community and contentment. Happy hosting!

Rachel Zimmer is a nurse researcher, health expert, and founder of Hygge Abode, a brand dedicated to helping you create serene, joyful living spaces that enhance your well-being. With a background in nursing and a passion for holistic wellness, Rachel curates fair trade and sustainable home goods. Her blogs and podcasts offer practical advice on integrating hygge into everyday life. Her work aims to enhance well-being by fostering connections, promoting mindfulness, and embracing life’s simple pleasures. Visit her website at www. hyggeabode.com to learn more!

JODIE BRIM CREATIVE

Sugar Mamas Movement:

How Amy Jah Empowers Aspiring Female Entrepreneurs

by AMY HILL / photos by JODIE BRIM CREATIVE

Amy describes the Sugar Mamas Movement as not only a community, but also as a sisterhood of women pushing and inspiring each other to become the best versions of themselves personally, professionally and, of course, profitably.

Sugar Mamas shopping events are more than just retail therapy with an open bar – although, that alone is enough to grab anyone’s attention. Members of the Sugar Mamas Movement benefit from networking events, conferences and the companionship of like-minded women.

monthly meetings and presentations from industry experts as membership perks.

On Friday, July 26th, Sugar Mamas will be holding its Sexual Health + Wellness Seminar at Historic Broyhill in Clemmons.

If you haven’t seen Amy Jah’s iconic pink American Moving & Hauling trucks around town, you’ve definitely seen her taking social media by storm with the Sugar Mamas Movement. As American Moving & Hauling’s owner of 19 years, Amy created Sugar Mamas to share her hard earned entrepreneurial skills with other aspiring female business owners seeking support.

Starting a business was not a walk in the park for Amy, who, contrary to her confident and stylish exterior, struggled internally with feeling alone as a female entrepreneur. However, by facing the discomfort of stepping outside of her comfort zone, she began making valuable connections within the community and built a bombshell brand and booming business with years of sweat equity and personal growth. As a matter of fact, she attributes finally seeing the fruits of her labor in 2014 to devoting her attention solely to branding and staffing after juggling a business, being a student and being a loving single mom for years.

Since the movement saw so much success early on, Sugar Mamas oversold memberships last year. Fortunately, for those interested, the membership waitlist will reopen in October with access to

As a ticketed event, attendees are able to listen to five speakers from 5:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. and can expect to see adult vendors, exciting activities and a free, safe place to open up and ask questions. Ladies will learn about dismantling the myths of female sexuality, the impact of toxic shame on sexuality, and hormonal and pelvic floor therapy. To purchase tickets for the event before it sells out, scan the QR code below:

Although Amy is a local style icon and stands out in colors that make her feel confident and joyful, she also attributes much of her growth over recent years to her involvement with the Forsyth Magazines family around 2015. She considers the attendance of her first Women on the Move Conference to be a game changer in her persona as a female business owner. Finding herself

surrounded by strong, supportive women at the conference and meeting loyal clients face to face for the first time were the catalysts for her leap into creating her own community for empowering others in her shoes.

Amy’s transformation from someone who once described herself as terrible at networking to now being seen as the life of the party wherever she goes serves as living proof to those scared to take the leap into bettering their finances, career paths and personal growth. Interested in getting involved with the Sugar Mamas Movement? Stay up to date on the latest Sugar Mamas events by visiting sugarmamasmovement.com or following @sugarmamasmovement on Instagram. Can’t make it to the Sexual Health + Wellness Seminar? Be on the lookout for news surrounding a September Sugar Mamas seminar centered around the ins and outs of content creation for small businesses and social media.

‘Join the Movement! Get on the waitlist for our January 2025 Memership Cohort!’

My Journey Learning How to Crochet: The Benefits of Learning a New Skill

by MEGAN TAYLOR

Throughout a person’s life, we develop new hobbies and interests; things we want to learn how to do. Recently, I have become interested in learning how to crochet. This is a skill that I have always wanted to learn but never had the time to do so. However, I decided now was the time to tackle this new hobby head on.

With any new skill, there is a learning curve. Before deciding what project I wanted to create, I had to figure out how to successfully make the knots and stitches. This was a puzzle for me. I consulted YouTube videos, friends and even some of my students at school to start this process. Through some practice and a few frustrations, I grasped the concept of how to do knots and stitches, giving me the first step to crocheting a design – a stuffed octopus. I have continued to develop this new skill throughout recent months, and soon, I will finish this octopus. During this process, I have not only learned how to crochet, but I have also discovered a few benefits of what it means to learn a new skill. Whether it’s mastering a musical instrument, picking up a new language or, for me, learning how to crochet, the benefits are rewarding.

Learning new skills helps grow your mind and open doors to many opportunities. These are just two of the many benefits, including the ones below:

1 The brain is like a muscle; the more you exercise it, the stronger it becomes. Learning a new skill works different areas of the brain, enhancing cognitive functions such as memory, attention and problem solving. It promotes mental agility, allowing a person to adapt more effectively to new situations and challenges.

2

There is a sense of accomplishment that is felt when you learn a new skill. Conquering challenges and overcoming obstacles instills a deep sense of self-belief and empowerment. This newfound confidence can then be applied to other aspects of life and can help develop a positive mindset.

3

Learning a new skill opens the door to a world of possibilities. It exposes individuals to new ideas, perspectives and cultures. It also ignites curiosity and knowledge, encouraging lifelong learning and personal development.

4

The process of learning a new skill often involves thinking outside the box and approaching problems from different angles. This way of thinking can spill over into other areas of life.

5

Engaging in a challenging, yet rewarding pursuit such as learning a new skill can serve as a form of stress relief. It provides an outlet for self-expression and creativity, offering a release from the pressures of daily life. Additionally, the sense of accomplishment derived from making progress and achieving goals contributes to overall mental well being and resilience.

6 Whether through classes, workshops or online communities, developing a new skill provides opportunities for networking and building meaningful relationships. These connections not only enrich the learning experience but also create a support system for growth and collaboration.

The benefits of learning a new skill extend far beyond what we can initially see. It is a journey of self-discovery, personal growth and empowerment. By challenging ourselves to step out of our comfort zones and embrace new challenges, we unlock our full potential and cultivate a lifelong passion for learning. Don’t be afraid. Go and learn that new skill you have been putting off. You’ll be glad you did.

MASTERING Acknowledgement

by JEAN MARIE JOHNSON

Asa former organizational coach, I was privileged to listen to deeply moving and inspiring stories about people from all walks of life who practiced the “I really see you” level of acknowledgement. Most of us have had the experience of being seen for who we are and who we could be, and we know the priceless quality of this perception. This is especially the case when we are struggling or going through a difficult period in our lives or at work. I love the words of Nobel Peace Prize winner, Albert Schweitzer whose eloquence and depth of understanding speak to this level of acknowledgement:

“At times, our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.”

This level of “feedback” might make you a tad uncomfortable because it seems too “personal.” I see it differently. The hundreds of stories I’ve listened to tell me that supervisors, mentors and even co-workers can and do play a significant role in “rekindling the spark.” Think about it – when we fail to “see” the people we work with for their unique gifts, strengths, qualities and characteristics, we miss a huge opportunity to express the kind of respect that deepens relationships and strengthens contribution.

LEVELS OF ACKNOWLEDGEMENT: A DEEPER DIVE

At its core, acknowledgement is about paying attention and being attentive. It is also about cultivating a deeper, more intentional level of awareness. Let’s see what this looks like at each level.

Level 1: I Notice You

• Practice being aware of any and everyone who enters your visual field.

• Hold yourself to an “I notice you” standard – extend some verbal or non-verbal signal that says, “Yes, know you are there” to everyone in your workplace.

• Sharpen your awareness antennae by “noticing” outside of work. That guy who is trying to make a turn in front of you? Let him in. That cashier who hands you your receipt? Make eye contact, smile and thank him or her.

Level 2: I Recognize You

• Be sure that your recognition is sincere, specific and true.

• Maximize the power of informal recognition – say “thank you” for specific contributions – verbally and virtually – at every opportunity. This also includes acknowledging phone, text and email messages, as in “Got the info on the XYZ research from you; thanks, it will help a lot.” Also use symbolic forms of recognition that are appropriate to your culture.

• If you don’t have any formal recognition in place, get together with others to see what would be appropriate to your work culture and what can be done.

• Show respect by asking the people you work with what forms of recognition they would appreciate.

Level 3: I Appreciate You

Take a few moments to focus individually on each of your coworkers. Ask yourself what you “see” in them. Consider their unique gifts, strengths, qualities and characteristics. I love this quote from writer and counselor Rusty Berkus: “There comes that mysterious meeting in life when someone acknowledges who we are and what we can be, igniting the circuits of our highest potential.” Here are a few “seeing statements” that employees shared with me from the “Level Three Acknowledgers” in their lives:

• “You have an incredible fire in your belly!”

• “Your compassion for people is boundless.”

• “You set a standard for professionalism that I marvel at.”

• “Nothing will ever keep you down.”

• “You have the gift of patience.”

• “You will accomplish everything you set out to do.”

• “I believe in you.”

CULTURE OF ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

When you master acknowledgement at every level, you express a deep level of respect for who others are, what they do and the difference that they make. You become the example to follow when you “walk the talk” acknowledgement.

Hats off to the Forsyth Magazine staff who do a brilliant job of walking the talk of acknowledgement. Thank you!

Get Cozy

When you think of beauty and comfort, what comes to mind? From the look of your front door to the style of your kitchen cabinets, think about what works for you. For me, walking into a room means finding an inviting place to sit. If there is no comfortable place to sit, I am not going to stay there very long, no matter how pretty the room may be. People tend to use spaces more if they have an inviting atmosphere that feels more lived in and makes you feel welcomed.

Clients often do not realize how vital upholstery is to a space. The style and scale of upholstered pieces can anchor the room and define the comfort level of the space. No matter the size of the room, a sense of intimacy can be created. For example, in a living room, we select a variety of colors and textures to create a sense of harmony among the different elements. We may choose the same fabric for a pair of chairs and contrasting upholstery for the sofa. To accentuate the visual comfort, we add throw pillows, artwork and accessories to not only create a space that is pleasing to the eye, but also, to add bold touches in the design.

To decide what each room needs, we guide clients through the process of thinking about how they’re going to live in their house so that we can ensure that each space will be used to its fullest potential. Going beyond decorating, we want a client’s home to express who they are and how they live. This means choosing furnishings and fabrics that are not only beautiful but are also tailor-made to reflect our client’s lifestyle. Whether they have young children, love to entertain frequently, have pets or work from home, all these factors are things that we take into account to create a design that makes your house feel like home.

When it feels like home, cozy and comfortable, you know you have the right fit.

God Bless,

PHOTO BY JAY SINCLAIR

by LAUREN SEPHTON

Hi! I’m Lauren. I’m a freelance writer and a food blogger with a passion for food that tastes good and is good for you! Stay tuned each month to find everything from achievable dessert ideas to healthy, quick dinners that’ll happily feed the family.

How to Make a Cheeseburger Board

Summer is here! Making a cheeseburger board to host your friends and family this summer is not only very easy, but also super delicious.

Servings: 6

Prep Time: 15 minutes

Cook Time: 15 minutes

Total Time: 30 minutes

INGREDIENTS

Sliced Cheddar Cheese

Burger Buns, toasted or regular

Ground Beef Patties

Tomatoes, sliced

Bib or Romaine Lettuce

Red Onion, thinly sliced

Ketchup & Mustard

Pickled Jalapenos

Crispy Bacon

Pickles

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Heat up your skillet or grill griddle over medium high heat. Let it heat up for 4-5 minutes.

2. Drizzle with a little olive oil, then add the beef patties to cook 2-3 minutes. Flip the patties, then add the sliced cheese. Close the grill lid to cook an additional 2-3 minutes, to desired doneness and cheese is melted.

3. Serve the warm cheese patties on a platter with your favorite burger toppings to enjoy!

Purpose Push:

The Heart of Your Business

There are certain things we rarely feel like doing, yet we do them anyway. What are those things for you? It could be taking your kids to school, but you know if they don’t go, they won’t receive the education they deserve and you love them too much for that to happen. So, in this instance, your love for them motivates you to wake them up to get them ready in time for school. You don’t get paid extra to do it and you may never hear any gratitude, but if it means you’ll raise intelligent and hard-working contributors to society, you’ll do it all over again.

Now, think about your business or future business plans. As a child of God, you are set apart, and there’s a greater reason why it exists. You need to be in the right business for the right reasons, so ask yourself, “If I never made another penny through my business, would I still do it?” Even if it’s on a smaller scale or in a different iteration, would you do it without hesitation? This is a great indication that your love for the people you serve is keeping your business running.

We’ve all heard stories of different industry markets declining, yet there always seem to be a few businesses that are thriving amid the chaos. I’ve always believed it’s likely because they trust God and love people. They put their heart into their work despite things around them crumbling because they know someone needs what they offer and they want to provide it, wholeheartedly. Psalm 91:7 says, “A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.”

As long as your business is fulfilling the mission of reaching God’s people, your business will succeed. That’s why scriptures like Proverbs 4:23 are so important to meditate on. It’s not your marketing and it’s not your administrative team; your heart is the most important leadership tool you have.

Here’s a funny story I’ve been experiencing lately – as I’ve been running my jewelry business, I’ve tried many different tips and tactics to increase my following and brand awareness. However, something

Sheridan C. Watkins is a journalist and the owner of Perennial Peaces, a jewelry and gifts brand focused on transcending self-worth to all women. Her true work began after climbing out of a dark place with the help of God and therapy and her life mission is to provide tangible peace through her Divine gifts to help women heal and transform their life. Follow the mission on Instagram and Facebook: @perennialpeaces

by SHERIDAN C. WATKINS

I’ve committed to every week is to pray for anyone that comes to my page. I used to post prayers only on my Instagram stories, but God told me to make it into a graphic and post it weekly on my page. I don’t use any hashtags or tag any locations or people like I do with other posts. Yet, these prayers have gotten the most engagement! Hundreds of people who don’t follow me somehow come across these prayers, repost and comment. I’m astounded every time.

God understood that I love to make people happy through jewelry, so He gave me Perennial Peaces to steward over, but He has a message to spread and my heart has

to be right to partner with Him and create these prayers that aren’t directly related to jewelry. If my heart is not in the right place, will miss opportunities to help and love His people. And, if I’m not helping and loving His people, I’m not useful! I’ll be susceptible to having a rougher journey to His blessings.

Child of God, I pray that you put your whole heart into your business and let God take care of the rest. Whatever you are lacking, He will supply. Just focus on guarding your heart (Proverbs 4:23) and loving the people you serve through the business you choose. have faith in you.

The Real Skinny on Cultivating Trust

at Work: Part 1

by JEAN MARIE JOHNSON

For such a small word, “trust” is loaded. When you can say “I trust you completely,” you feel both confident and secure in that person’s intentions, words and actions. You can breathe easily and get on with what needs to be done. It’s priceless. The reality, however, is that you may often find yourself thinking: “Can she be trusted?” or “I have no trust in him.”

THE VALUE OF TRUST IN THE WORKPLACE

In a work community where trust between coworkers is high:

• People take more and better risks.

• Relationships improve and cooperation is enhanced.

• Communication is open and conflict is reduced.

• Job satisfaction and productivity are generally higher.

If you prefer to look at the numbers, consider that, just this past February, Harvard Business Review posted fascinating statistics on workplace trust, noting that compared with people in low-trust workplaces, those in high trust companies reported:

• 74% less stress

• 106% more energy at work

• 50% higher productivity

• 13% fewer sick days

• 76% more engagement

• 29% more life satisfaction

• 40% less burnout

If you’ve experienced a deep level of trust at work, you already know that trust creates an environment that brings out the best in you and in others.

With so many good reasons to cultivate trust, we need to ask: What creates trust? What do I “own” or control in relation to trust? How can build more trust in my relationships at work?

Dr. Duane C. Tway defined trust as “the state of readiness for unguarded interaction with someone or something.”

In other words, when you trust someone, you are “real,” spontaneous and genuine with them. This doesn’t mean that “it’s all about you,” or that you “tell all” in TMI fashion; it just means that you can be yourself, without feeling that you need to be careful or guarded. But, extending trust isn’t like turning a switch. Dr. Tway explains that the act of trusting is based on these three things:

• Your capacity for trusting – which is your own willingness to risk trusting others that is based on your life experience, what you have learned and whether or not you choose to trust or distrust other people. You control this choice.

• Your perception of competence – which is your perception of how capable another person is to perform competently, to come through based on what’s needed. This is a situational absence of trust that may be accurate – and therefore appropriate – from time to time.

• Your perception of intentions – which is your perception of the degree to which the other person is motivated by mutually serving, versus self-serving intentions. Do you believe that the other person has your interests at heart?

HOW TRUSTS BREAKS DOWN

Human Resource Consultant Dave Bowman explains that a coworker can erode trust by:

1. Acting and speaking inconsistently

2. Seeking personal rather than shared gain

3. Withholding information

4. Telling lies or half truths

5. Being closed minded

Do any of these look familiar?

It can be tempting to think that building trust begins with pointing fingers at others who are falling short. I’ve never seen that type of blame work anywhere.

Instead, we get more of what we want (trust) by being more of what we want (trustworthy).

As with so many things, it’s an inside job that starts with becoming aware of our own trust-eroding behaviors, then consciously replacing those behaviors with the trustbuilding kind.

THE LEADER’S ROLE

There are many actions leaders can take to foster a culture of trust. In-person workshops, team building activities and even online learning. Every one of these can be helpful. There’s a caveat, though. The leader needs to walk his or her own talk. Leaders need to be the living examples of what it means to be trustworthy. Why? Because the strongest influence on employee behavior is the leader’s lived example.

Stay tuned for Part Two...

Memories of

by KAREN COOPER

Commemoration of America’s independence “...ought to be solemnized with Pomp and Parade, with Shews, Games, Sports, Guns, Bells, Bonfires and Illuminations from one End of this Continent to the other from this Time forward forever more.”

- John Adams wrote in a letter to his wife, Abigail, dated July 3, 1776.

The first July Fourth celebration in America was in 1777, a year after our country declared independence from England.

The ways we celebrate have varied in the years since then, but several common traditions have emerged like parades and fireworks. From the 1770s to around the 1860s, many towns began the day with artillery fire at dawn if they had cannons on hand. If there were no cannons to be found, some of the men would get up and shoot their muskets into the air to offer a thunderous welcome to Independence Day.

Fourth of July in our world today might include barbecues, pool parties, neighborhood gatherings and watching fireworks at night. Many of us have happy memories of the Fourth from our past, and we’ve asked several of our friends and readers to revisit their memories, so we can share them with you.

“We went to Georgetown, SC every year to watch fireworks over the harbor from the deck of a friend’s house who had a fantastic view. The small town coming together to watch the fireworks display over the shrimp boats and other small boats in the harbor made a beautiful picture,

and it was a happy, wonderful time in my life with good friends, good feelings, cocktails on the deck and happiness. We loved our country and loved celebrating it like that.”

- Margaret C.

“It was the bicentennial in 1976, and we had gone to Raleigh, NC for the big festivities around the capitol building and the fairgrounds. I was five years old, and everything seemed magical. There were crowds of people who showed up to celebrate the Fourth; my mom had made a big deal of getting flags to hold to show our patriotism. It rained just a little, but it didn’t affect the fireworks at all. To this day, that is still the most beautiful fireworks display I have ever seen. The memory of me with my young parents celebrating what was a big deal Fourth of July…200 years of independence, is my best Fourth of July memory.”

- Karenna M.

“We lived on a street in the 90s where all the neighbors would get together to chip in to buy fireworks. During the day on the Fourth, the kids would all play outside while the moms got the tables of food set up and the dads got the grills ready. We would play and, later on, eat a great feast until it was time for the fireworks. When it was dark, a few of the dads would take charge and get the fireworks ready. For a pretty small street, we put on quite an incredible show. Memories of that time and the closeness of our families will always be my best Fourth of July memory.”

- Julie K.

“My dad had just come home from a business trip, and we weren’t really prepared for the Fourth of July. We didn’t know it but he had brought sparklers with him, and we celebrated with sandwiches for dinner and sparklers in the backyard with my two brothers and our parents. To us, it was perfect.”

- Helena J.

“I was pregnant with my first child and feeling so sick I didn’t want to be sociable or cook or do much of anything. We had gone to stay at the beach for a week and, although we had planned for a crowd of people to join us, we canceled and just had my husband and myself and his parents. What I didn’t know is that our beach house had the most amazing view of the fireworks being set off in that little beach town. We all sat out on the deck and had the best seats in town.”

- Kacey R.

The Long Term Care Dilemma Making Dollars, Making $ense

BY JON MARZANO, AIF®, MANAGING PRINCIPAL

As our business and our clients mature, so do the topics that tend to take center stage in client reviews and discussions.

Over the past several years, the topic of health care later in retirement, by way of moving to a retirement community or to some type of care facility, is a more frequent discussion. The fact is that the largest portion of the baby boomer population is now at the age where their demand for enhanced care at facilities will hit its generational peak within the next 10 years.

To further compound the problem of availability, there has been a concerted effort to not overbuild new facilities and campuses to meet the current demand because, in 20 or so years, as the baby boomer population is no longer with us, the following generations are much smaller in size. It will not be until the millennial generation reaches the golden age in retirement that we will again see the supply demand issue rear its ugly head.

So, what do you do now? If you are between the ages of 70 and 80, it is time to plan ahead and be prepared. We encourage our clients to identify a few facilities or campuses that they would be comfortable moving to if there was a need due to health concerns. Setting up an appointment to visit locations that you have identified is key. Furthermore, while on that visit, you may want to sign up for the waiting list because it can take years for something to become available. An important takeaway is to start early and not wait until there is an emergency or a need. Making decisions in a rush or during a stressful time can be extremely complicated, not just for the ones who need care but for the family that is undoubtedly part of the plan, as well.

In order to be the most prepared, we would encourage you not to wait and to start thinking now about what a plan would be if there was a healthcare need.

Schedule your free consultation at home or work!

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SNOB SHOP

With women-owned businesses near and dear to Forsyth Woman’s heart, Snob Shop at 1020 Burke Street in Winston-Salem boasts of top-notch consignment finds – but don’t let the name fool you. Snob Shop prides itself in providing its shoppers with reasonable prices for great steals. Having graced the Burke Street community for 50 years and counting, Snob Shop specializes in reselling furniture, designer goods, art and decor, men’s and women’s clothing, accessories, toys and games, and more.

Open Tuesdays through Saturdays from 10:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m., the Snob Shop team allows potential consignors to stop by for an appointment and review for 20 items adhering to consignment guidelines. Consignors earn 40 to 50% commission on items sold, depending on price. Snob even allows customers to browse the store’s inventory online, which is a true gem for introverts and out-of-towners looking to support the local consignment industry.

Snob Shop is passionate about promoting local businesses and being environmentally friendly. Snob Shop’s web page explains, “The manufacturing and consumption of products account for 70% of emissions, highlighting the need for mindful consumption and circular lifecycles for products. The Snob Shop takes its responsibility to the environment very seriously; we don’t use disposable shopping bags and use only recycled materials for packing.”

Additionally, Snob prioritizes donating funds to numerous local charities and nonprofit organizations, including Ronald McDonald House, Trellis Supportive Care, Winston-Salem Symphony and LEAD Girls of NC.

Read more about Snob’s background, inventory and consignment policies at thesnobshops.com. Find Snob on Instagram at @thesnobshop_ws to stay up-to-date on the latest store hours, specials and more.

VintageVintageVentures

CHAMELEON KIDS CONSIGNMENT

Clemmons-based Chameleon Kids Consignment opened in 2020 and has been selling gently used children’s and baby clothing, toys, shoes, accessories and gear ever since. Owner Claire Wait, a North Carolina resident since 2004, perfected her craft of consignment as a former high school teacher. As a wife and mother of four children, Chameleon Kids is a profitable and productive passion project that benefits the community and environment.

Accepting a wide range of infant and children’s clothing and shoe sizes, the shop also sells maternity and nursing attire for mothers. Find items with notorious brand names such as Ralph Lauren, Vineyard Vines, Patagonia, The North Face and more.

Consignment shopping for children not only saves money and supports local businesses, it also makes the most sense for evergrowing infants and children who quickly outgrow clothing, shoes and interests. Your child’s once-loved toys don’t have to go to waste once he or she has moved on to bigger and better items of entertainment. Share the love and send your child’s gently used pastimes off to the team at Chameleon Kids to brighten a child’s day.

Don’t wait to check out what Chameleon Kids has to offer

Consignors interested in supporting Chameleon Kids can find helpful information on Chameleon’s guidelines online at chameleonkidsconsignment.com. Located at 3422 Kinnamon Village Commons, the shop is open Tuesdays through Saturdays from 10:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Preview store inventory and get updates from the Chameleon team on Instagram at @chameleon.kids.

A Series Uncovering Gems in and around Forsyth County

by AMY HILL

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Enter into a World of PURE Imagination

KALEIDOSCOPE Ball 2024

by LEIGH ANN WOODRUFF

Come with me … and you’ll be … in a World of Pure Imagination! On Friday, October 4, Kaleideum will transform its four colorful floors into an enchanting vista that reflects the magical world of Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory for the museum’s annual Kaleidoscope Ball.

The Kaleidoscope Ball is the signature fundraising event for Kaleideum, the experiential learning museum in in the heart of downtown Winston-Salem. The inaugural ball was held in April 2018 after the 2016 merger of the Children’s Museum of WinstonSalem and SciWorks to become Kaleideum, a name inspired by the combination of kaleidoscope, an instrument of art and science, and museum. To highlight the inspirational quality of the kaleidoscope, the museum reimagined and renamed its annual black tie fundraiser to be the Kaleidoscope Ball and moved its location downtown to the Millennium Center. Most of the past Kaleidoscope Balls have been held at the Millennium Center except for the 2020 virtual Kaleidoscope Ball during the COVID 19 pandemic. In 2021, Kaleideum worked with the Millennium Center team on a version called “Let’s Have a Ball,” which was designed as a take home “party in a box” that could be picked up at the event space.

Post pandemic, the ball transitioned from a spring event to a fall fundraiser, and this year it has a new home. “The 2024 Kaleidoscope Ball is very exciting and is again being reimagined as we have moved into our new Kaleideum building at 120 West 3rd Street and opened the doors to the public in mid February,” said Elizabeth Dampier, Kaleideum CEO. “We have a fantastic team of extraordinary volunteers planning this event, and it promises to wow Winston-Salem.”

Chaired by Martha and Sam Metzler, and Sarah and Coleman Team, with Scottie and David Neill and Cathy and Chris Pace serving as the Honorary Chairs, this year’s ball promises to be truly spectacular. The team is working with Kaleideum’s rental partner Sterling Spaces to create an imaginative world of wonder spanning four floors including the rooftop and the adjacent Liberty Plaza. “Party on the Moon” — nationally recognized as America’s No. 1 corporate and private party band — will perform after guests enjoy elegant cuisine, cocktails, and silent and live auctions.

The 2024 Kaleidoscope Ball’s Presenting Sponsors are Flow Automotive and Mercedes Benz of Winston-Salem and Greensboro. Their support is the key to creating an evening of celebration to

advance Kaleideum’s mission of inspiring wonder, curiosity, and lifelong learning. Funds raised through this signature event offer increased access opportunities, enhance educational programs, and contribute to hands-on learning experiences throughout Kaleideum.

Kaleideum’s access and opportunity initiatives are designed to ensure that all children in Forsyth County, regardless of their economic background, have the chance to discover and learn at Kaleideum. Initiatives include:

• Free Field Trips for Winston-Salem/Forsyth County Public Schools. WS/FCS students can visit Kaleideum at no cost during a field trip, thus enriching their education with hands-on, interactive learning experiences.

• Programs for Title I Schools: Kaleideum offers free educational programs to schools with a high percentage of children from lowincome families to foster a love for learning and exploration.

• Reduced Admission for Low-Income Families: Kaleideum makes the museum accessible to all by providing discounted admission to families through the Museums for All program.

• Community Access Passes: Available at local libraries, these passes offer free admission to Kaleideum, encouraging community engagement and learning.

“We invite you to join us for an unforgettable evening at the 2024 Kaleidoscope Ball,” Dampier said. “Your presence and support help us continue to make a difference in the lives of countless children and families. Together, we can build a brighter future for our community, one filled with endless possibilities and boundless curiosity.”

Mark your calendars, gather your friends, and prepare for a night of pure imagination! For ticket information and sponsorship opportunities, please visit kaleideum.org/kaleidoscope-ball/ or reach out to Caren Hamrah at chamrah@kaleideum.org.

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2023 Kaleidoscope Ball “It’s Glow Time!” Chairs and Honorary Chairs Emily and Van Williamson, Liz and Stan Kelly, Marie and Guy Arcuri, and Parker and Chris Tegler.

WINSTON-SALEM POLICE DEPARTMENT

Recruiting with a Sense of Compassion & Caring

by MARTIE EMORY

With boundless efforts to strengthen communication and collaboration between the city of Winston-Salem and its dedicated police department, the need for more diversity in the field has never been greater.

For a variety of reasons, an increased female presence in law enforcement contributes to the strength and success of the force – with just the amount of compassion and caring you might expect.

While getting to know what makes the WinstonSalem Police Department unique and how their all-important recruiting process operates, you’ll meet Public Information Officer Annie Sims. Sims began her career in law enforcement at the Forsyth County Sheriff’s Office in 2020 and moved to this role with the WSPD in September of 2023. With a focus on reaching out to diverse, qualified and community oriented individuals through the use of ever-growing social media platforms, she relies on the fine-tuned tactic of interpersonal communication (often another female strength) to attract a quality group of potential applicants to the department.

There are proven character traits that typically stand out among female recruits – and simply strengthen bonds within the community:

* Compassion

* The innate ability to de-escalate a volatile scenario differently

* Strength of relationship building, especially with other women in the community

WSPD Recruit Eve Montgomery

* Greater attention to detail

* An intensely caring mindset

* The ability to multitask in difficult situations

The number of women serving Winston-Salem in law enforcement is growing, but sharing the need and available opportunities is crucial. “We currently have a total of 170 females working at the Winston-Salem Police Department, which is out of 550 total current employees,” Sims shares. “Sixty-three out of those 170 females are sworn officers.”

Part of the focus on interpersonal communication means department recruiters are taking a personal interest in how their newest officers came to be familiar with the WSPD and learning their specific routes to being part of a profession that changes lives on a daily basis.

For WSPD recruit Alexandra “Eve” Montgomery, that path introduced her to the Appalachian State Scholarship Program, which contributes financial support for college and a career once

you have graduated. The scholarship covers books, fees and tuition for criminal justice majors only and is open to sophomores, juniors and seniors who must pass a mini-background check and initial eligibility testing. Scholarship recipients must have a 3.0 GPA, complete a summer internship with WSPD and make a three-year service commitment with the department after graduation.

Montgomery graduated from Appalachian State University in December of 2023 with a bachelor of science degree in criminal justice and shares that she’s wanted to be a police officer even before high school.

“I was fascinated by how the criminal justice system is one of the few institutions in the United States that, for better or worse, every person encounters at some point,” she adds. “I soon learned that, as a police officer, I would be able to be with people on their worst days – from comforting a victim or helping to bring someone to justice for a crime they have committed. Most importantly, want to help people feel safe.”

As a woman, Montgomery is a compassionate, hardworking officer who strives to build a connection to those she meets out and about in the community. She’s also grateful.

“I am lucky enough to have so many women in this department who I can look up to as role models and for support when I need it,” she adds.

As with any new adventure, there are challenges!

“My biggest challenge has been learning how to push past my limits,” she says. “But these moments have also been my proudest throughout the academy so far. Each time I clear another hurdle, I prove to myself I am so much stronger – both mentally and physically – than I originally thought and that I will be worthy of the trust and duty associated with wearing the Winston-Salem Police Department Badge.”

When speaking about the recent successes in recruitment, Sims is confident that the department’s more engaging website and social media platforms specifically dedicated to recruiting, have been significant influences (YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, X). Sims keeps the department’s social media content closely aligned to what’s happening around the city and reflective of current events. With the new department website launch and constantly increasing number of followers on social media, she has been able to structure a more relevant marketing plan – building overall trust and confidence in the profession of police work. The WSPD also relies on excellent training programs and cutting edge technology to remain successful.

Sharing details of the multi-phase selection process and hiring procedures within the Winston-Salem Police Department, Sims believes the future is bright for securing the most highly qualified female candidates – who will also be compassionate voices within the community.

If this is an opportunity that speaks to you – or someone you know – check out the recruiting website joinwspdnow.org, call or text 336.602.4914 to chat with one of the police department recruiters or email recruit@ wspd.org for upcoming opportunities to kickstart your journey. To stay up to date with what’s happening within the WinstonSalem Police Department, follow them on Facebook, Instagram and X @cityofwspolice. For more information on the Appalachian State Scholarship Program – a life-changing opportunity for criminal justice majors – visit cityofws.org/2089/Appalachian-StateScholarship-Program.

“There is no limit to what we, as women, can accomplish.”

- Michelle Obama

JEJ PHOTOS

Hustle & Heart

Stop Measuring Social Media Success

By Metrics (Do THIS Instead!)

by TARYN JEREZ , OF GOFORITCREATIVE.COM

This column is meant to serve as a resource for readers who seek inspiration and knowledge for building their own small business brands. Through actionable advice, find the encouragement to help you keep living your life with hustle and heart.

I recently asked a room of small business owners if they have ever felt personally victimized by the Instagram algorithm, and you know what?

Every hand shot up.

The truth is, it can feel like pulling at straws to figure out how to get content in front of the right audiences. I get questions each week that sound something like this:

• How often should I post on Instagram?

• What hashtags should I be using?

• Where can I find trending audios for reels?

But the truth is, when we spend time just trying to appease the algorithm gods – we’re not getting to the root of the problem; the strategy. Too many business owners are planning out their content marketing moves based off of their metrics, instead of their sales goals. Keep reading to make sure you’re not one of them.

THE TRUTH: YOUR METRICS ARE DIRTY LITTLE LIARS

Metrics can have us feeling insecure, stuck in comparison or even blindly confident that we’re on the right track when we’re not. There are businesses with 15,000 followers trying to keep their doors open and businesses with 250 followers making seven figures. I’ve had trendy Instagram reels go viral that brought in zero sales while others with only 300 views converted into new coaching clients.

The value of your content goes far beyond the metrics; it’s about what’s converting content to customers. If you’re seeing an increase in engagement and views, that’s wonderful, but it’s crucial that it’s surrounding the right elements of your business.

ASK YOURSELF: DOES MY CONTENT SUPPORT MY SALES?

The number one goal of your content should be moving your followers and viewers to your sales funnel. Yes, your content should nurture your relationships and build trust from across the screen, but if you’re not creating and sharing content that directly sells, you’re missing out. As you plan out your content marketing, start with knowing your sales goals. What stories do you need to share that support these offers? What details are most important and eye catching to your audience? Which offers are you specifically wanting to book or sell out of right now? Those answers should serve as a compass to the type of content you should be sharing.

GO ALL IN: SHOW UP TO SELL YOUR OFFERS

Don’t overthink selling. In fact, simplify it by turning “selling” into storytelling because that’s really all it is. Allow your content to showcase stories about your offers, your customers and the transformations your work provides. Show up on stories, in your posts and reels or TikTok videos, and talk about your offers. Share why you do what you do and who you feel called to serve, or give insight on what it’s like to work with you, giving a look at each step of the journey. Most importantly, invite your audience to take action and buy and work with you.

HUSTLE & HEART CHALLENGE

This month, look at your offers and fire out which ones are the star of the show right now. Work on creating content that’s going to move your audience towards those offers specifically. Challenge yourself to talk about each offer, share stories about the transformation and experience your customers have through that offer and, of course, invite your audience to buy.

to feeling invisible say goodbye

@jodiebrim

info@jodiebrim.com

www.jodiebrim.com

Marketing Tips for Female Entrepreneurs

These Three “sh’s” Are So Important for Female Business Owners to Implement in Their Marketing Efforts

by SUZY FIELDERS

Being an entrepreneur is tough. Being a female entrepreneur is even tougher. As women, we are typically juggling so many things outside of our businesses, such as kids, a spouse or partner, and endless appointments and errands. That means, on occasion, it is easy to get overwhelmed and drop one of the many balls we juggle.

Marketing is often one of those things that so many entrepreneurs and small business owners tend to put on the back burner. The truth is, it’s one of the single most important aspects of your business. That is because, without marketing, your business won’t be able to grow to its full potential!

As a marketing professional, I wanted to share three marketing tips for female entrepreneurs to build up their businesses. Below are three “sh’s” every businesswoman needs to hear and implement!

Tip 1 – Show Your Face

Outside of actresses and models, the majority of women do not like having their photo taken and certainly not videos. I mean have you ever noticed “mom” is always the one taking the photos and not usually in them? Confession time…who else feels they have to have their hair or makeup look good or the right outfit on before entertaining being in the photo?

However, your customers want to see you! While they are technically purchasing your service and products, it’s you that pulls them in to see what you have to offer. People connect with people and their stories – not things, even if that thing is a product or service they need.

That means you need to have posts and reels on your social media that show your face. A brand photography session and getting hair and makeup done for those photos is a great idea to have photos to share of yourself. If you have a day you are feeling especially good about your looks, then take advantage of it. Go ahead and grab a few video clips you can use throughout the month for your social media.

Tip 2 – Shout Out Your Achievements

I’m not sure why, but it seems like most women either don’t like or don’t feel comfortable sharing their achievements and victories. However, not

only does your customer base want to celebrate those with you, but it’s a great way to give you or your business third-party verification.

Next time you win an award, get featured in an article or whatever the achievement may be, be sure to share it and own it on your social media and even to your email list. Even something seemingly small is a major victory if it has meaning to you and makes you feel proud. Yes, it’s okay to feel pride when you’ve worked so hard for something!

Tip 3 – Share Your Testimonials

How often do you hear good things about your business and/ or services/products? Likely often. How often do you share those raves? Probably not often.

There is no stronger marketing than wordof-mouth. Testimonials are just that. Next time you receive those words, post it as a review on your website or in a graphic on your social media. Even better, next time someone says those things, ask them to review your business on Google or Facebook! There is no shame in asking someone for a review, in fact, it’s a true business necessity.

I hope these three “sh” marketing tips help you and your business!

This Year’s Chefs are Bringing the Heat at Men Who Cook!

Health Wake Forest Baptist, Novant Health Forsyth Medical Center, and Trellis Supportive Care.

Heather Bolt Mikeal, Family House Immediate Past Board Chair shared, “I’ve been to a lot of nonprofit events, and I can say for sure that ours is the most fun. It’s a great time to socialize and, most importantly, it is our biggest fundraiser of the year.”

by KARA YATES, SECU FAMILY HOUSE

SECU Family House is excited to announce the ninth annual Men Who Cook fundraiser, presented by Atrium Health Wake Forest Baptist. This delicious event showcases the culinary talents of local male professionals – amateur “chefs” – who battle it out for best in taste, presentation, most “tips” raised, and more! This year’s event will take place on August 17, 2024, in the Forsyth Barn at Legacy Stables & Events, 4151 Thomasville Rd. in Winston-Salem. About 400 partygoers will fill their bellies with sweet and savory samples crafted by the chefs and vote for their favorites through tips that benefit the Family House. Last year’s event was a recordbreaking success, with proceeds topping $188,000.

“This is such a fun and exciting event that truly represents the togetherness, hospitality, and love we provide at the Family House,” said Kathy Carr, Executive Director. The Family House is a nonprofit that provides friendship, support, and affordable accommodations for adult patients and caregivers traveling to Winston-Salem for out-of-town medical care. A welcome alternative to setting up camp in hospital waiting rooms or paying for expensive hotel rooms, the Family House serves patients ages 18+ and their families with referrals from Atrium

Chefs are responsible for creating their own recipes, with dishes ranging from appetizers to desserts. Awards are given to 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place in a variety of fun categories. Supporters can also participate in early online “tipping” at www.familyhousews.org/men-who-cook.

Tickets are available for $100 each starting June 1 at www.familyhousews.org/men-who-cook.

Those wishing to show extra support can become Wooden Spoon Sponsors for $500, which includes two tickets, a listing in the souvenir program, and early entry to the event.

A table for 10 can be reserved for $1,250, a great option for corporate teams and groups of friends. Reserved tables will sell out! To become a sponsor, contact Kara Yates at the SECU Family House at 336-793-2822 or Kara.Yates@familyhousews.org.

Since opening in 2011, the Family House has served over 56,000 guests from 96 North Carolina counties and 45 states. Guests can stay for an affordable overnight rate – less than a third of the price of local hotels – thanks to loyal donors and events like Men Who Cook that support the Family House.

My LOVE for Audiobooks

by MEGAN TAYLOR

I love to read. It is one of my favorite hobbies, and I’m always on the hunt for my next book. However, life can get busy, and finding the time to read can be difficult. If this sounds like you, let me introduce you to audiobooks.

Audiobooks are digital audio recordings of books. Hundreds can be found on online platforms or apps, as well as traditional CDs. Throughout recent years, the popularity of audiobooks has risen as a convenient and enjoyable way for people to continue reading while on the go. I am one of those people.

My love for audiobooks has grown in the past few months. There is a plethora of novel options to choose from that are accessible for me to listen to while driving, grocery shopping or multitasking. In fact, the number of books I have read this year has multiplied. Convenience and accessibility are just two of the many advantages as to why a person should read (and fall in love with) audiobooks. If you need more persuasion, take a look at the benefits below.

1. CONVENIENCE: Audiobooks provide huge convenience for avid readers. Whether you’re commuting to work, exercising at the gym or doing household chores, you can simply plug in your headphones and immerse yourself in a story. Unlike traditional books, audiobooks allow you to enjoy novels without having to set aside dedicated reading time.

2. ACCESSIBILITY: Along with the accessibility of finding a diverse selection of audiobooks, this format is influential for individuals with visual impairments or learning disabilities. They provide an inclusive platform for everyone to access and have an opportunity to read books. Additionally, audiobooks are available in various languages, making them accessible to a diverse audience worldwide.

3. ENHANCED COMPREHENSION: Listening to audiobooks can increase a person’s comprehension and retention compared to reading a printed text. The combination of auditory and visual can improve understanding and memory especially for nonfiction or technical topics.

4. MULTITASKING: One of the greatest advantages of audiobooks is the ability to multitask while listening. Whether you’re driving, cooking or exercising, you can enjoy a good book without losing productivity.

There are several online platforms and apps for a reader to find audiobooks. Most of these platforms are free; however, a few do require a monthly subscription.

1. AUDIBLE: As one of the largest audiobook providers in the world, Audible prides itself on offering an expansive library of titles from fiction to nonfiction and everything in between. With a user-friendly app and website, and

features like bookmarking and variable playback speeds, Audible is a favorite. Note: Audible does require a monthly subscription payment.

2. LIBRIVOX: If you’re looking for free audiobooks, Librivox is an excellent resource. Run by volunteers, Librivox offers a wide range of public domain books that are available for download or streaming. While the selection may not be as extensive, Librivox is a great option for budget-conscious readers.

3. SCRIBD: Scribd is a subscription service that offers unlimited access to audiobooks, ebooks, magazines and more for a flat monthly fee.

4. OVERDRIVE/LIBBY: For library patrons, OverDrive and its companion app, Libby, allow you to borrow audiobooks digitally from your local library. Simply sign in with your library card, and browse the virtual shelves for the latest releases and classic favorites. (Libby is a favorite of mine!)

5. GOOGLE PLAY BOOKS: Google Play Books offers a wide selection of audiobooks that can be purchased individually or accessed through a monthly subscription. Google Play Books is a convenient option for Android users.

Whether you prefer to listen to a book while driving or unwind with a story before bed, audiobooks provide a versatile and enjoyable way to read. With numerous platforms and services available, finding your next favorite audiobook has never been easier. Plug in your headphones, press play on your current novel and happy reading!

Making

Meetings

Meaningful

by LESLIE SPEAS

Meetings are probably necessary to get things done, but you may have noticed that most of them aren’t too great. “I wish there could be more meetings,” said no one ever.

Here are some of the problems with meetings:

• Trying to come up with something to talk about.

• Just sharing what’s going on (without any context for how/why).

• Information sharing only. Could be a memo!

• No agenda.

• Too many agenda items.

• People on devices.

• Too many of them!

Meetings are also very expensive. Think about all the salaries of people in the room that are being applied to time spent in the meeting. They can be one of the organization’s biggest expenses if not managed well.

FIVE WAYS TO MAKE MEETINGS MORE MEANINGFUL

Determine if you need a meeting – and, if so, who needs to be there.

Is the meeting for brainstorming, training that needs to be done in person or making a decision? If yes, you probably need to have the meeting.

Is it for sharing information? If so, you probably don’t need to have a meeting and can find a better way to relay the information. Have you ever heard people say, “That meeting could have been a memo.” – if it’s just for sharing information, it probably could be.

And, oftentimes, we involve too many people in meetings because we don’t want to leave anyone out.

The DAI model helps determine who needs to be there.

• Decision Makers

• Advice Givers

SCOTTY AND HANNAH SCOTTY AND HANNAH

1 2 3 4 5

Establish ground rules.

These are written or understood guidelines on communication, technology, decision-making and the overall culture of your meetings. Ground rules might look something like this:

• Prioritize attendance.

• The Vegas rule – maintain confidentiality about what is shared in the meeting.

• Put phones away.

• Close down email and apps that send alerts.

• Don’t interrupt.

• Offer ideas.

• Give your full and undivided attention.

Share purpose and agenda in advance. “No agenda, no attenda”...Cameron Herald

Developing an agenda for each meeting is important, but it’s important to make it an effective one! It is good practice to send it out in advance so that people know what to expect.

A good agenda includes the purpose and goal of the meeting, along with start and end times. It presents an outline that includes discussion points, brainstorming and the like. It specifies what decisions need to be made and by whom, and how much time is needed for each agenda item.

Facilitate well.

It’s important to facilitate meetings well to keep everyone on track with the agenda and make sure everyone has the opportunity to share. During the meeting, it’s important to read the room by observing your audience (verbal and non-verbal cues); limiting your talking; engaging the audience; being a role model in tone, body language and energy level; and asking openended questions.

End with clear action items.

• Informed Stakeholders

Only the Ds and As are needed at the meeting. You can work on informing the Is afterward.

Articulate clear action items and accountabilities at the end of the meeting, and follow up with documentation shortly thereafter.

A Mouse in My House

Musophobia is the intense fear of mice, rats and other rodents.

Creating more choices for women

by RENEE

Fear moves in me like the rush of a huge river – I’ve just witnessed a little brown mouse in my house, nonchalantly camped out upon my gleaming white, recently cleaned stove. In that instant, we make eye contact, and I can tell that he is equally shocked and even more mortified when I start screaming and banging on the kitchen wall to further scare the daylights out of him. He hurriedly disappears down the well of one of the burners on the stove, and I run helter-skelter out of the house, cell phone in hand frantically calling the pest management company which confidently advertises its services daily on the television. Minutes later, a company serviceman arrives, does a quick inspection of the premises and lays out his fancy wares around my home to catch the terrifying offenders. Later that evening, when I have recouped most of my composure, I start thinking about mice and, for several hours, read about them on the internet, which allays some of my fears but greatly inflames others.

I learned that the best reason of all to fear rodents is disease. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, rodents carry more than a dozen common diseases such as hantavirus leptospirosis, plague, lymphocytic chorio-meningitis and Lassa fever. remember from a college medieval history course that, in the 14th century, a bacteria carried on the backs of rodents by fleas devastated and killed a third of Europe’s population. This event was called the Black Death or Bubonic Plague. Although they are often found in dark and dirty areas like sewers, they are equally happy in non-filthy environments, attracted to cluttered and disorganized spaces where

they have plenty of room to hide and nest. A common annoyance for homeowners, mice are adept at sneaking into houses and establishing significant colonies before people are even aware there is a problem.

There is even a name for the trepidation that affects so many of us. Musophobia is the intense fear of mice, rats and other rodents. Common symptoms of musophobia include screaming, trying to flee, accelerated heart rate, panic attacks, gastrointestinal distress, shaking/trembling and overwhelming anxiety. Scientists postulate that musophobia is more common in females than males and that nine percent of people are “very afraid” of mice.

The writer, Ambrose Bierce, humorously averred that a mouse was “an animal which strews its path with fainting women.” Animal behaviorists have even noted that the fear of rats and mice may have evolutionary origins since, historically, rodents spread diseases, consumed vital food supplies and ruined clothing and other fabrics, all of which were essential to our ancestors’ survival. Mice may look small and vulnerable, but besides being a vector for transmitting disease, they are really good at destroying property. They will literally chew on anything – wood, paper, cloth, books, furniture, insulation and most dangerous of all, electrical wiring (which can cause a fire). The damage that they can do to your home and the cost of repairing it is enough to cause consternation in any homeowner’s heart.

Being very small, mice can enter your home through the tiniest cracks and gaps around windows, doors, vents and pipes. The pest management experts agree that the best way to get them out is to keep them out in the first place.

Following are tips that one pest management site provided:

1 Seal entry points or openings in your home with caulk, weather-stripping or steel wool.

2

Declutter storage areas like basements and attics, and keep items stored in sturdy, sealed containers. Minimize possible hiding spots which can make it much harder for mice to establish a presence.

3

Keep the house tidy and clean. Make sure food is stored in airtight containers, and promptly clean up crumbs and spills. Take out the trash regularly.

4

Try using natural repellants like peppermint or clove oil and/or ultrasonic repellent devices which emit high-frequency sound waves that are inaudible to humans but irritating to mice.

5

Some people resort to using mouse traps, but as a card-carrying member of PETA, I cannot bring myself to kill or maim other creatures. And, I have to agree with Charles Darwin’s statement that, “building a better mousetrap merely results in smarter mice.” If there is a more serious infestation (one female mouse can produce up to 10 litters per year), call the professionals right away.

Walt Disney famously said, “I only hope that we don’t lose sight of one thing – that it (Disneyland) was all started by a mouse.” I understand their culture better now, but am still afraid – and grateful that my trusty pest management service comes monthly (in the words of Shakespeare) “to take arms against a sea of [rodent] troubles and, by opposing, end them.”

Health WomanCare

© Novant Health, Inc. 2023

Mice may look small and vulnerable, but besides being a vector for transmitting disease, they are really good at destroying property.

SKUDRA

On the Road Again

SURVIVING SHARK SEASON

by AMY HILL

While researching my next summertime vacation destination, I’ve found countless tropical tour operators touting once-in-a-lifetime ocean kayaking, stand-up paddleboarding and snorkeling experiences online and on social media. As someone with an irrational fear of jellyfish, taking a sea kayaking tour would be much more up my alley than swimming straight into the hard-to-see tentacles of a sea stinger.

The more searched around for sea kayaking tours in vacation hotspots like Hawaii, southern California and the Caribbean, the bright blue waters and sunny weather looked nothing short of enticing. However, once I stumbled upon a viral YouTube video of a shark sneaking up on a kayak fisherman and biting his kayak, I began having doubts about my aspirations of paddleboarding in the Pacific.

It seems as if we are fed conflicting messages by the news and scientists on the likelihood of seeing shark violence. On one hand, we are told that shark attacks are extremely rare and that the odds of dying in a car accident on your way home from work are much higher. On the other hand, it seems as if more and more shark encounters and brutal attacks on innocent swimmers are popping up in the news each month.

One culprit for a considerable chunk (no pun intended) of unprovoked shark attacks is the aggressive tiger shark. Growing up to 18 feet in length, these irresponsible predators sometimes operate by biting potential prey first and asking questions after the victim is already bleeding. Although humans aren’t a shark’s ideal snack, we definitely seem sufficient in a pinch when times are hard and other options are few and far between.

The Hawaiian island of Maui makes the news frequently for tiger shark encounters by snorkelers, surfers and swimmers in the island’s warm, turtle- and seal-filled waters. Many bite-and-run shark incidents occur after the shark realizes a swimmer or surfboard isn’t what they anticipated, however, there is no way to predict when a bite will become a fatal attack. was always under the impression that well known great white sharks were our primary threat. Have been living under a non-coastal rock for too long?

If you think you’re safe in a coastal river, think again. Even more terrifyingly, bull sharks are another aggressive shark breed that, according to the National Wildlife Federation, prefer shallow waters and are even capable of migrating up rivers. Lovely!

As beachgoers, we have a surface-level understanding that sharks are surrounding us in the oceans in which we swim. Nonetheless, it’s not fun to imagine that they are closer to shore more often than we think. While it’s true that encounters are still rare, it’s important to know how to prevent yourself and your family from becoming another devastating summer statistic.

TIP #1: WAIT FOR CLEAR CONDITIONS

One thing I learned throughout my hours of finding a way around being gobbled up by a shark in a kayak is to stay out of turbid, post-rain water, especially near the mouths of rivers running into the ocean. Sharks are more attracted to the smells of new potential meals being flushed out to sea, and murky water makes a surprise predatory attack all the more possible. It also prevents the shark from getting a good glimpse of what it’s about to bite in order to discern whether it’s worth the shark’s precious time.

TIP #2: TIMING MATTERS

Research has shown that sharks are more active in the early and late hours of the day. Although encounters can happen at any time of day or year, shark attacks in the Pacific typically peak around the months of August, September and October (hence the nickname “Sharktober”). In Florida, peak shark activity occurs between April and October. However, even in peak shark season, a sighting is still unlikely. In 2023, there were only 36 recorded unprovoked shark bites in the United States, with Florida ranking as the number one location for U.S. shark bites.

TIP #3: STAY CALM

When having fun in the ocean is expected, especially among small children, it is important to note that sharks may confuse splashing for struggling prey. In the unfortunate instance that you do encounter a shark in the ocean, try to remain as poised as possible while getting the heck out of dodge. Isolation is also a hungry shark’s best friend, so try to stay close to other swimmers, and choose beaches with lifeguards when possible. Having extra sets of eyes to help keep watch on shark activity is an added layer of protection against these silver sea predators.

Saturday, July 13 • 6:30-9:30 pm

$20 online in advance at kaleideum.org; $25 at the door (Tickets include two beer/wine vouchers)

Cash Bar • Food Trucks

Join us for an ’80s-inspired evening that includes a movie on the rooftop (Weird Science), curious questions answered in the hallways, and a Stranger Things laser show in the Digital Dome.

Kaleideum After Dark is a 21+ event sponsored by

2nd Annual

April 27th, 2024

HOSTED BY: Ana Redfearn, Special Moments Venue

2538 Somerset Center

Winston-Salem, NC 27103

GOAL: We honored men, women, and children who have fought or are still fighting various cancers: Breast, prostate, pancreatic, bone cancers; acute lymphoblastic leukemia; metastatic breast cancer; meningioma on the optic nerve; ovarian, colon, inductive carcinoma HR-; stage III cervical cancer; and stage IV triple-negative metastatic breast cancer.

Hosting this event has been life-changing, opening our hearts to gratitude. We aim to spread joy and uplift those battling cancer.

EVENT HIGHLIGHTS:

• The Cancer Survivor Honorees were greeted with a beautiful Rose and warm hugs from the volunteers.

• Cancer survivors shared inspiring and uplifting testimonies at the beginning of the event while greeting one another and enjoying light hors d’oeuvres, including charcuterie cups and sangrias by Sensational Sangria, along with desserts by Lei Lei Bakery, the desserts were sponsored by Joy Nelson with New Level Management.

• Our youngest honoree, 8-year-old Asher, attended with his mother, Jennifer, who brought him to receive his award and other gifts. Asher was in between treatments but his mother was determined he would not miss this event.

• Surprise video messages from family and friends added a special touch.

• Each honoree received an “I Choose Joy” award from Ana Redfearn, handcrafted by Justin and Chantae Kankula of JKwoodwork.

• Honorees enjoyed a beautifully decorated outdoor brunch, catered by Terrance Mann of Catch This Tea Catering, with Lavender Lemonade from Be Kind Coffee.

We released balloons to honor those who have passed.

THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS:

• Jodie Brim Creative (photos)

• Sugar Mama Movement - Amy Jah

• New Journey Management

• American Moving & Hauling

• Edward Jones

• Russell Funeral Home

• JKWOODWORKED

• McIver Law Office

• The Gorham Group

• Designer Soiree

• The Cancer Ribbon Balloon: by Design Soirée, Santana Mobley

Thank you or your support, we look forward to the 3rd annual iChoose Joy Cancer Survivor Brunch. To join our next brunch, contact Ana Redfearn at specialmomentsvenue@gmail.com or 336-779-8223.

photography by JODIE BRIM CREATIVE

WOMEN ON THE MOVE

DR. KSENIJA KOMLJENOVIĆ

Dr. Ksenija Komljenović from Belgrade, Serbia is a prizewinner of the International Percussion Competition Luxembourg and is a percussionist, educator and composer. Ksenija’s musical journey has taken her across continents, performing, teaching and studying in Europe, the United States and Asia. She holds the distinction of being the first woman from Serbia to earn a Doctor of Musical Arts in Percussion Degree. In Fall of 2023, Ksenija joined the esteemed faculty at the University of North Carolina School of the Arts, following four years of teaching at Texas A&M University in Corpus Christi. In recent years, she has been recognized for her performances in Hong Kong, England, Spain, Portugal, Russia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, and Poland. As a performer and an educator, she has presented hundreds of concerts and conducted more than 50 masterclasses, continuing her mission to mentor aspiring musicians worldwide. Ksenija lives in WinstonSalem with her husband. She is an avid reader and is currently working on a book of her own.

Laura Craig is the Chief Operating Officer for American Conservation Experience. She has recently been appointed President in addition to her current role as Chief Operating Officer. Laura joined the organization in January of 2022 as Chief Financial Officer and has continued to expand her footprint within the organization to oversee finances, information technology, human resources, risk management, facilities and operational activities. Laura Craig has more than 20 years of nonprofit accounting and financial management experience including serving as a Chief Financial Officer for 16 years. Laura has a master’s degrees in community economic development and accounting, as well as a bachelor’s degree in business administration and finance. American Conservation Experience is one of the nation’s largest nonprofit conservation corps that recruits, trains and mobilizes more than 1,000 young adult volunteers annually to complete conservation projects across the United States benefiting public lands.

LIYU NALVEN

Liyu Nalven was born in a small village in southern China, where she grew up under extreme poverty and hardship, only made worse by her family’s punishment for disobeying China’s one child policy. In order to pay the 500yuan fine, the family was forced to sell their home, leaving no other option than to live for the next three years in a windowless, mud-walled pigsty. In spite of great challenges, Liyu worked hard to earn an accounting degree, followed by a degree in international business from the University of International Business and Economics in Beijing. After working for 15 years, Liyu immigrated to North Carolina in 2011, and became a United States citizen in 2016. Together with her husband, Gary, Liyu co-founded Linor Technology in 2012. For the first two years, Liyu and Gary worked more than 10 hours a day, seven days a week to bring the business to life. Today, as President and 51% owner of Linor Technology, Liyu oversees financial planning, budget management, sales and marketing, and export strategy -- overseeing a staff of 11 employees. Liyu has a daughter, Jen, a high school senior in Winston Salem. Liyu’s hobbies include flower gardening, cooking and travel.

LAURA CRAIG

Getting Through

by LESLIE SPEAS

The terrible pain of losing a loved one is something almost everyone experiences. No matter how imminent the death, nothing prepares us for the emotional rollercoaster that we will encounter.

The following stages of grief are widely recognized.

Denial – This often involves feeling numb or even carrying on as if nothing has happened.

Anger – You may feel anger towards the person who died, anger at yourself for things you did or didn’t do before the death or even anger towards God during this stage.

Bargaining – When in pain, it’s sometimes hard to accept that there’s nothing you can do to change things. In this stage, you may find yourself going over and over things that happened in the past and asking a lot of “what if” questions, wishing you could go back and change things so they would turn out differently.

Depression – The sadness and longing of depression is most commonly associated with grief. This pain can be very intense and come in waves over many months or years.

Acceptance – Gradually, most people find that the pain eases, and it is possible to accept what has happened. You begin to learn to live again while keeping the memory of your loved one close.

The stages are often talked about as if they happen in order. However, this isn’t the case. Each person sets his or her own pace. There will be ups and downs, moments of relief followed by moments of anguish.

C.S. Lewis said, “Grief turns out to be not a state but a process. Grief is like a winding road where any bend may reveal a totally new landscape.”

As write this, it is Mother’s Day. This is the third Mother’s Day without mine. Although the pain has faded over time, it is fresh again today. I miss her terribly and am reminded of what got me through as I walked through the early stages after her death. Matthew 5:4 which says “blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted…” was my solace. Through this Scripture, I believe that Jesus is implying that God cares deeply for everyone and hears all who call out to him. He will be with us during our darkest moments of sorrow. I certainly felt, and continue to feel, His presence as mourn my mother’s death.

grief

Consequently, I created the acronym below to illustrate the comfort and hope He brings amid the grief process.

G – Grace R – Results

Enduring Hope

Grace is, “the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God.”

We can have consolation in the thought that God has showered His grace on our loved one and he/she is now in a peaceful place without any pain or sorrow. Through His loving grace, He will also help us to overcome our sorrow. It probably won’t be a quick process, but we will eventually be at peace with the situation. That doesn’t mean that grief won’t come knocking from time to time, but the pain will lessen, leaving us with cherished memories of our loved ones.

Method to the MADNESS :

My Testimony

by AMY HILL

Join us

I was raised in church and had Christian values instilled in me for as far back as I can remember.

As a child, church was a chore. There was nothing more daunting to me than singing in a children’s choir, attending Vacation Bible School with other rowdy kids or sitting in a full sanctuary surrounded by other people when I could be at home peacefully playing with my Polly Pockets instead. I never paid attention during sermons and chose to doodle or daydream. I had a not-so-irrational fear of the book of Revelation (and still do), and my prayer for salvation at age nine was also a fear-based decision. When you’re an innocent child, you hear about salvation and can only conceptualize it as a transactional, one-time prayer as a means to escape Hell. It felt so transactional and shallow that, throughout the rest of my childhood and early adult life, I often doubted whether I was truly a Christian.

Why was I never moved to tears like others at church? Why did I lack so many fruits of the spirit? Why would anyone cry at the altar in front of the entire congregation?

2011-2013

As a naive young adult in my first year away at college, I experienced sexual assault that parlayed into a traumatic, months-long entanglement with a much older man (with an alcohol problem) who was also in a position of authority. I never reported him or received the help I needed to heal. Following that experience, I jumped from attempted relationship to attempted relationship with very odd characters, many of whom were also much older. engaged in disordered eating and had strained relationships with friends and family who were not emotionally prepared enough or able to understand how to walk alongside me in what I was going through. One of my professors referred me to great mental health practitioners, but due to my limited funds and schedule as a busy college student, I attended inconsistently.

2014-2017

Eventually, my mental health became so poor that I dropped out of my final year of graduate school to live in my parents’ basement and drive an hour to and from a full time job daily. A year later, I found a job that allowed me to move to a studio apartment in downtown Durham at 24 years old with bars within walking distance. I had all but turned my back on God. I wanted to justify my behaviors and choices with men by trying to convince myself that the values I grew up with were “outdated.” My bitterness and compounded heartbreak were spawning a misguided, spiteful and selfish spirit within me, but my tenderness and desperation for love and approval were still on full display for the nefarious characters encountered during my many nights out in Durham. The cycle of pain continued with every foolish choice and attempt at love I embarked on. Men

who would have treated me nicely were unappealing to me; I believed I needed to earn love, leading me to entertain men who were even more broken than me and would inevitably reject me.

MY TURNING POINT

God was screaming at me in 2018. won’t go into too much detail out of sheer shame, but I was in another non-committed relationship with a musician who lived a dishonest lifestyle that I had met at a local bar. was aware of his lifestyle but was convinced that if meant enough to him, he would change and choose me. He also had a reputation as a womanizer for a reason, and no one was shy about letting me know – not even him. Regardless, was invested and saw the good in him and his wonderful sense of humor. Everyone around me thought was insane for becoming involved with him. The “relationship” was so chaotic and unhealthy that I was making all of my friends miserable and pushing people away one by one.

One night, I was watching his band play at a local bar and was sitting at a table by myself when I was approached by a guy

(continued on page 78)

Girls Night Out Wednesday July 10th

Grab your mom, sister, and girlfriends and join Forsyth Woman Magazine for a much-needed Girls’ Night Out!

Expect an evening filled with fun and fabulous prizes from our prize board. And don’t worry—this is not a formal networking event, so leave the business cards at home and just come ready to have a great time!

To stay updated on all the details and future events, follow us on Instagram and Facebook @forsythmags and subscribe to our email newsletter at forsythwoman.com.

(continued from page 76)

who was trying to hit on me. I was very friendly to him but still informed him that I was watching my not-boyfriend play the drums. When he left the table, an older man sitting a few tables down approached me.

“Did you know that guy?” he asked.

“No. I’m here for the drummer,” I replied.

He looked at the drummer, looked back at me and calmly said, “I’m the pastor at the church down the street. I only come to these places for the music. You should visit one Sunday.”

I consider that the first seed God had planted in my heart during that time, although my attempts at suppressing God over the years were never fully successful.

The guilt of my choices never left, but I ignored the feeling time after time. I continued seeing the drummer and never attended that church.

A month or two later, the “relationship” deteriorated, and I had a health scare that literally brought me to my knees. It was just frightening enough that my past decisions had flashed before my eyes, and I broke out into a cold sweat with no one to blame but myself. When the scare was confirmed to be only a scare, I repented. I asked God to re-enter my life. was absolutely done trying to do things my own selfish way and realized that God was the answer. To this day, I am still grateful to God for allowing me to escape nearly all of my stupid decisions relatively unscathed. I am fortunate enough to have walked away with only the memories of God’s merciful wake-up calls disguised as close calls.

I’ve learned over the years that God’s expertise in getting my attention is unmatched. He truly does know my deepest fears, insecurities and inner workings all too well.

He knows just how sternly to tap my wrist so that I learn my lesson before it’s too late. It’s a miracle that I have been allowed the luxury of repeating past mistakes consequence-free while others have not been as fortunate.

Following my repentance, the desires of my heart changed rapidly with only a few withdrawal symptoms along the way as my past bled out. I reconnected with one of my best friends, Matt, after our relationship became strained for years due to a growing contrast in our values and immaturity on both sides. Matt is a devout Christian and was the first friend I made when I moved to a new high school. We attended college together and were close with each other’s families. He was one of the first people I called to tell about my decision to return to Christ.

Shortly after God began reshaping my heart and life, I was fired from my stressful, chaotic job in early 2019. At the time, I felt deeply betrayed by my co-workers who had often claimed to be a “family.” I felt defective as an employee. After returning to graduate school and earning my master’s degree, I had already applied for 100 jobs over a year and had never been offered a single interview. How was I supposed to find a job now that I desperately needed one?

Matt suggested I apply to a job opening at his company. He sent a letter of recommendation along with my application, and I was interviewed and hired within two weeks of my job loss. My supervisor at the time was also a devout Christian, and the job happened to align perfectly with my skills. I have been an employee there for more than five years and had no clue a job like that even existed. I am now able to see that, no matter how many doors I tried to open myself with countless job applications, all it took was one “right” door for God to open in order for things to fall into place. I am working diligently to apply that same faith in God’s timing when it comes to finding a husband. When doubts and fear creep in, remind myself of God’s goodness in the past and how he uses pain for purpose.

Matt and I got to spend a year working at the same company and taking lunch breaks together. We got to relive some of our hardest laughs. didn’t realize the void in my life that our loss of friendship left until it was filled again. In late 2019, he found the love of his life after a long, difficult season of heartbreak and loneliness that he nursed properly through God and unwavering faith. In 2020, he got married and moved to Virginia. He lived by example throughout his adult life, even when others (including myself) doubted him. He was not willing to compromise his beliefs for a “quick fix” in love. He was not going to settle or sell his soul, even though all he wanted was a spouse and often feared he would never find one. His story gives me daily hope as pray to God that I find the same. He is my spiritual rock and wise counsel when it comes to any questions I have about the Bible’s teachings. God used his struggles to serve as a beacon of light for mine.

LOCAL EVENTS

*Event details are subject to change. Please check event websites & social media pages for updates as the dates draw near.*

JULY 4

WINSTON-SALEM DASH VS. HICKORY CRAWDADS

7pm, Truist Stadium, Tickets start at $15 The Dash are home for the Fourth of July. Don’t miss Winston-Salem’s largest fireworks show, presented by City of Winston-Salem.

JULY 6, 7, 13 & 15

JURASSIC PARK: THE MUSICAL, 3D various times, Tickets $12, This ridiculously unauthorized parody is a multi-dimensional musical spectacular with singing, dinosaurs and chaos.

JULY 6

CROOKED ROAD SHOW WITH THE ALUM RIDGE BOYS & ASHLEE + NEW BALLARDS BRANCH

BOGTROTTERS

7 p.m., Blue Ridge Music Center, Galax, Va., Tickets $20, under 12 Free. The Alum Ridge Boys & Ashlee play dynamic, deeply grounded old-time music. The Bogtrotters have been playing old-time mountain music since 1986.

JULY 8-12

AROUND THE WORLD TOTALLY KIDS CAMP

Salem Gymnastics & Swim. Receive a passport and spend the week traveling to different countries around the world like France, Italy, England and many more. Participate in theme related obstacle courses, games, crafts and activities as we bring each one of our “visited” countries to life. Totally Kids Camp is from 9am2pm with an optional add-on until 5pm. Camp Imagination is offered for 3-5-yearolds every week from 9am-12pm with the option to stay for lunch bunch.

JULY 9

STORYTIME IN THE GARDEN

10-11 a.m.,Paul J. Ciener Botanical Garden, Kernersville, Free, The Garden has partnered with the Kernersville Library to bring stories to the garden. There will be stories, songs and activities. Recommended for ages 6 and under.

DONNY OSMOND

8 p.m., Ovens Auditorium, Bojangles Entertainment Complex, Charlotte, Tickets start at $39, Donny Osmond, a renowned entertainer and music icon, will present his award-winning Las Vegas production as he celebrates his sixth decade in show business.”

RAIN: A TRIBUTE TO THE BEATLES

7:30 p.m., Steven Tanger Center, Greensboro, Tickets start at $29, This is an electrifying concert experience celebrating the timeless music of the legendary fab four. You will be transported back to the iconic eras of Sgt. Pepper and Magical Mystery Tour.

JULY

9-10

MOONLIGHT CURATOR TOUR

7 to 9 p.m.Reynolda House Museum of American Art, Winston-Salem, Tickets $125

Phil Archer will lead a tour back to the fateful night of July 6, 1932 when Smith Reynolds was shot on the Reynolda estate. Tour is for ages 21+.

JULY 12

LYRICS BY THE LAKE

6-9 p.m. on the back lawn at Southeastern Center for Contemporary Art, WinstonSalem, Tickets $20. Hosted by LB the Poet, Lyrics by the Lake is a community-based cultural arts series that uses different art forms: musical performances, spoken-word poetry, comedy and live painting.

JULY 12

CHARLOTTE BLUEGRASS

ALLSTARS AND REEDY RIVER STRING BAND

8 p.m., Reeves Theater and Café, Elkin, Tickets $23 to $34. The Blue Grass Allstars are a genre-defying powerhouse. They bring together diverse musicians from rock, blues, classical and jazz. Reedy River takes a fresh approach to Appalachian roots music.

JULY 13

COMMUNITY PERFORMANCE CANDLELIGHT: A TRIBUTE TO COLDPLAY

6:30 p.m. and 8:45 p.m., UNC School of the Arts, Winston-Salem, Freedman Theatre, Tickets start at $33 . Experience the music of Coldplay, a British rock band, performed by Listeso String Quartet under the glow of candlelight.

JULY 14

BEAUTIFUL BEADS WORKSHOP

2-4pm, Lam Museum of Anthropology. Beads are worn by people around the world as personal adornment and are also used as decoration on clothing, masks and many other objects. In this workshop, participants will see many types of beads from the museum’s collections and learn about how they were made and used by a variety of cultures. Participants will make their own beads out of polymer clay, paper and tin. This workshop is designed for ages 8 to 99. The fee is $20 per participant ($15 for Lam Museum members). Space is limited, and advanced registration is required.

JULY 15-19

NINJA TOTALLY KIDS CAMP

Salem Gymnastics & Swim. Salem Ninjas will train and race through several different obstacle courses and stages throughout the week. They will be climbing, leaping, jumping, and crawling their way to the big event to be held the last day of camp where everyone walks away a winner with a medal of their very own. Totally Kids Camp is from 9am-2pm with an optional add-on until 5pm. Camp Imagination is offered for 3-5-year-olds every week from 9am-12pm with the option to stay for lunch bunch.

JULY 21

NATIONAL THEATRE LIVE: DEAR ENGLAND

2-5pm, a/perture cinema. The country that gave the world football has since delivered a painful pattern of loss. Why can’t England’s men win at their own game? With the worst track record for penalties in the world, Gareth Southgate knows he needs to open his mind and face up to the years of hurt to take team and country back to the promised land.

JULY 22-26

WIZARDS & MAGICAL CREATURES TOTALLY KIDS CAMP

Salem Gymnastics & Swim. Calling all witches and wizards to a fun-filled week at Salem Gymnastics & Swim! Campers will be sorted into their houses, play magical games, make their own wands and participate in our very own Tri-Wizard Tournament. It is sure to be a magical experience! Totally Kids Camp is from 9am-2pm with an optional add-on until 5pm. Camp Imagination is offered for 3-5-year-olds every week from 9am-12pm with the option to stay for lunch bunch.

JULY 27

BOYS LIKE GIRLS: LOST IN WONDERLAND

8 p.m., Greensboro Coliseum Complex, Piedmont Hall Tickets start at $22.50. An American rock band from Massachusetts that formed in 2005. The group performs a blend of emo pop, punk and alternative rock.

JULY 30

JAMEY JOHNSON: WHAT A VIEW TOUR

7 p.m.Greensboro Coliseum Complex, White Oak Amphitheatre, Tickets start at $24. Jamey Johnson, a country singersongwriter, will feature songs from his awardwinning catalogue and his much-anticipated new music.

JULY 31

DANNY GO! LIVE!

5 p.m., Bojangles Entertainment Complex, Ovens Auditorium, Charlotte, Tickets start at $39. “Danny Go!” is a live-action educational children’s show filled with music, movement and silliness. The show inspires learning and off-the-couch exercise for kids 3 to 7.

FUTURE

JULY 29-AUGUST 2 & AUGUST 5-9

OLYMPICS TOTALLY KIDS CAMP

Salem Gymnastics & Swim. Go for Olympic gold at Salem Gymnastics! Join us as we follow (Salem Style) Team USA this summer in Paris. Participate in individual and team sports, play theme related games, make crafts and learn about Paris: the “City of Lights.” Totally Kids Camp is from 9am-2pm with an optional add-on until 5pm. Camp Imagination is offered for 3-5-year-olds every week from 9am-12pm with the option to stay for lunch bunch.

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STEP 3

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Conversation with Your BFF

These days, most of us don’t live in Mayberry; tapping on the neighbor’s door when you need a cup of sugar or a baseball comes over the fence and the kid next door comes, hat in hand, to apologize for the inconvenience, isn’t going to happen. With subdivisions popping up everywhere, when you are looking for a house, you usually fall in love with the house and the location, often before you get a taste of the neighbors. So, once you get settled in and you meet the neighbors, do you have to be friends with them? I am so glad you asked!

It’s probably best not to set your expectations too high in the “get along” department. There are certain types of neighbors out there, and I’m pretty sure one of them lives next to you.

THE “STAY TO THEMSELVES” NEIGHBORS

These neighbors are the ones who never ever participate in the neighborhood gatherings. You reach out again and again, but you either never hear from them or they just ignore any attempt to communicate and include them. After you give it the old college try, step away and don’t bother your neighbors; consider the ball in your neighbor’s court to make a connection. Enjoy the neighbors who want to make friends, and set aside those who really don’t care.

THE “SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY OFF” NEIGHBORS

Some people just give you a weird vibe when you meet them, and that uneasiness is always present when they’re around. I’ve found, in almost every circumstance, to trust your gut! There are neighbors who are nice enough, but there are some red flags you might notice, like anger issues or family arguments that you overhear. You can be a good neighbor and wave as you pull in the driveway, but I wouldn’t get overly involved in this neighbor’s life.

THE “CLUELESS TO BOUNDARIES” NEIGHBORS

No matter where you are in your yard, this is the neighbor who just kind of turns up out of the blue, wanting to talk. You’re in the middle of washing your car and there they are! While on your back porch, reading a book, you hear, “Hi Neighbor!” There’s no

“Do I Have to Be Friends with My Neighbors?”

by REBECCA COOPER

escaping them; they seem to have radar and you are on it. Chances are your neighbor is unaware that their behavior is intrusive. Try a subtle alert to let them know they aren’t welcome anytime they can see you. For example, if the neighbor walks over when you are reading your book, while having a glass of wine, you could gently say how much you enjoy your “me” time – with a busy life, it’s nice having time to yourself. It may take a few times, but hopefully, they’ll pick up on the hints.

THE “DIFFICULT” NEIGHBORS

The word “difficult” can mean several things with neighbors. Difficult neighbors can be those who have late night parties with loud music to those who let their dog do its business in your yard and never clean it up.

These neighbors are only focused on their lives and really don’t care how their actions affect your life. I say give this neighbor the benefit of the doubt, hoping that they really don’t want to be “that” neighbor that everyone hates. If you confront your neighbor, be prepared for the conversation to go either way…they may apologize or be indifferent. Role with the outcome, and gauge your future interactions with them accordingly.

In a perfect world, our neighbors would be as considerate as we are, but if they leave a lot to desire in the wanting-to-be-friends department, remember, there are others in your neighborhood who probably haven’t hit the neighbor jackpot, so seek them out and spend time with them. Just don’t let a neighbor ruin the house you’ve chosen to become your home.