Forte #573 by Forte Mag

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OOD ARTS F C I S siness MU re bu cultu AT ONLINE US OUT .au CHECK ag.com m forte

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issue 573 // 28 NOVEMBER 2013 // next issue: 5 DEC

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A WORD Win a double pass FROM THE to Birds of Tokyo TEAM Welcome readers to another issue of one of Victoria’s longest-running and most iconic street press magazines; we hope you are all enjoying yourselves! This issue will, as every issue before it has, fill the reader’s minds with all things important to the regional expanses of Victoria, proving our region is more than just long highways and cow patties. In this issue of Forte Magazine we have Vans Warped tour gracing our cover. This year’s Warped tour boasts an incredibleline up, and we take a look at both the bands and athletes that are involved. We have your guide to the 20th anniversary of the Earthcore dance party over two pages, including playing times. We have a very special Victorian exclusive with Leonard Cohen in our Local Section as well as interviews with Living Colour, Kid Mac, Chocolate Starfish and loads more, as well as the ever popular Birds of Tokyo for our Local feature. So take the time out to see what is coming up over the next couple of weeks, and stay tuned for Forte’s coverage of a MASSIVE festive season ahead! Not long now! Peace!

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the HIGHLIGHTS

THE LATEST ON international & national news & tours

Julia Holter’s Songs of the City Los Angeles native and experimental pop wonder Julia Holter has also added a couple of smaller dates to complement her Perth Festival appearance. Holter studied composition at CalArts and after graduating began contributing songs to various compilations. She released her debut album Tragedy in 2011, an album inspired by Euripides’s Greek play, Hippolytus. Loud City Song is her latest release. NSC – February 14. .........................................................................

Bored of the Ocean Fergus Miller, better known in the music world as Bored Nothing, and Melbourne five-piece The Ocean Party has decided to team up for a tour. So, who is this fella that calls himself Bored Nothing? Well, simply put he is “a Melbourne dude who makes washed out 90s guitar music on a little 4-track”. And really, that should be all one needs to head on down and say hello. The Workers Club – December 8. .........................................................................

The Sunnyboys Return “As for playing again, there hasn’t been that discussion, but there’s some willingness there. No one could have quite known how it was going to happen, until it happened. It was so mind-blowingly and overwhelmingly good that I think they’re considering it.” That is Dig It Up promoter Tim Pittman sharing his thoughts about the possibility of a Sunnyboys reunion last year. Well, next year sees their first headlining tour since ’91. Sweet. The Forum – March 21.

There’s Only One John Butler The new album from the John Butler Trio, Flesh & Blood, has locked in the release date of February 7, 2014. It is still a little while to wait, but fortunately single ‘Only One’ is here to tie you over. Flesh & Blood welcomes new drummer, percussionist and backing vocalist Grant Gerathy. Grant has been playing the drums since he was ten and has recorded with Kelly Slater and Angus Stone.

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The Good Life 2014

Soundwave Strikes Again A Day to Remember, Mastodon, HIM, Pennywise, Jimmy Eat World, Glassjaw, Panic! At The Disco, Eagles of Death Metal, The Dillinger Escape Plan, Less Than Jake, Mayday Parade, Sevendust, Crosses, Suicide Silence, The Porkers, Gojira, Black Veil Brides, Zebrahead and Deez Nuts are among the second round announcements of Soundwave 2014. Flemington Racecourse – February 28.

The Highlights: Where we belong to the light, we belong to the thunder. Coming up you have… ..................................................................................................................................................

It is not always easy for the younger music lovin’ folk of the country; what, with all the 18+ gigs and all. Fortunately the Good Life festival gives those not old enough to vote a taste of the, well, good life. Deadmau5, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, Rudimental, Baauer, Kerser, Hardwell, Kaskade and Porter Robinson are among those who will take on Good Life at Flemington Racecourse on March 7. 13-17 years only. .........................................................................

Down to the Wire

In Their Shoes Raises Big $$$

I Spy Mikhael Paskalev

Post-punk warriors Wire have announced a small run of shows to go along with their Perth Festival appearance early next year. Wire formed in 1976, appearing on The Roxy London WC2 album, widely regarded as a key early document of the punk rock scene. Regularly releasing music since the later stages of the 1970s, the band dropped their thirteenth release Change Becomes Us earlier this year. The Corner – February 21.

Remember the In Their Shoes initiative? It was a brainchild of Warner Music Australia that saw oneof-a-kind musician-designed Converse shoes being auctioned off for charity. Got it now? Cool, because it was a massive success with a touch over $36,000 being raised. Shoes designed by Ed Sheeran, Paramore, The Black Keys and five others went for over $1000 each. Check in on intheirshoes.com.au for more.

Mikhael Paskalev is a Norwegian-Bulgarian singersongwriter who has been working his way inside the heads of music lovers with his single ‘I Spy’. Since being uploaded last year, the single has notched up an impressive one million hits on YouTube. This seems like as good a reason as any to swing by Australia to see what kind of love he has here. Howler – March 7. Paskalev’s debut is What’s Life Without Losers.

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Pete Murray: 10 Years On In 2003, a thirty-something singer-songwriter, who had only picked up the guitar at the age of 22, entered the studio to record a collection of songs. The singer-songwriter was Pete Murray; the album Feeler. Ten years on the album has reached 6X platinum in sales. To help celebrate the ten-year mark Murray has re-released the album and will head out on the road to bring it to life once again. The Forum – March 15.

Beware the Locusts San Diego outfit The Locust has an Aussie tour lined up for early 2014. On the scene since the mid-90s, the band is known for their fusion of grindcore speed and aggression, with just the right amount of new wave weirdness. For those unfamiliar who are thinking of checking out the band, you may want to take a peek at some of their YouTube footage. Live is where they do their finest work. The Corner – February 7. .........................................................................

Justin Lin Joins Bourne

Daniel Johns Goes Solo

The mastermind behind the chest-press franchise The Fast & Furious, Justin Lin, has stepped away from the franchise to join another. It was announced recently that Lin will direct the fifth film in the Bourne franchise. Little is known about the film at this stage, other than Jeremy Renner will continue his role as Aaron Cross. According to Deadline, the studio is eyeing a 2015 release date.

You may have heard by now that Silverchair’s Daniel Johns has enlisted the talents of Joel Little for his debut solo album. Little is the producer and co-writer of Lorde’s debut Pure Heroine, so his name is about as hot as they come these days. Little: “He’s working on his solo record. I’ve always been a fan of those guys [Silverchair], so it’s been really cool to do some stuff with him.” News about a solo album first circulated in 2011.

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December 18, 2015: Lock It In So, why should you lock this date in? Well, according to the man on the street, that is when Star Wars: Episode VII is released. Some of you reading this won’t care about that; others may receive a cold shock that violently jolts your body forward as you think of what could be in store. Still, as far as movie news goes, it doesn’t come much bigger than this – other than maybe a Batman vs The Avengers vs Harry Potter movie that takes place on the Titanic. .........................................................................

Axe Girl’s Bare Wardrobe Thanks to some loving support, Perth four-piece Axe Girl have been able to come up with their first-ever single, ‘Give Me Your Tee Shirt’ – and it couldn’t come at a better time because the band is killing it. They have been doing their thing for a couple of years now, pumping out their fun-lovin’ indie rock to increasingly larger audiences. Prince of Wales – December 13. I am not encouraging anything, but if you have an old tee shirt... .........................................................................

Seth MacFarlane’s Bordertown It seems ol’ Seth MacFarlane can’t sit still for too long on any one project. According to The Hollywood Reporter, a 13-episode of his new show titled Bordertown has been ordered. The show revolves around border patrol agent and father of three Bud Buckwald and his relationship with Ernesto Gonzales, a Mexican immigrant and father of four. Bordertown is created and written by Family Guy producer Mark Hentemann.

Morissette Steps Out on Broadway Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill was a monster album on its release in 1995, and it is about to get a whole lot bigger next year when it hits Broadway. Tony and Pulitzer winner Tom Kitt, the man who worked on Green Day’s American Idiot musical, will provide orchestration and arrangements. All songs from the album will feature in the musical in addition to other tracks and original tunes. JLP has sold more than 33 million albums. .........................................................................

The Horrors of Warning Birds Another Perth band is heading our way, showing us that there is a whole lotta talent out west. Warning Birds announced their arrival in 2011, taking out WAM ‘Rock Song of the Year’. At the beginning of this year the band performed at the St Kilda Festival, and later played showcases in Sydney. Next year will see the release of their second EP The Wars, but to tie you over until then you have new single ‘Horrors’. Grace Darling – December 5. .........................................................................

The Dandy Warhols Aussie Tour Tweet There is always a place for The Dandy Warhols in Australia, and the Portland band seems to dig that. The band has been enjoying shows across America recently, highlighting the 13th anniversary of Thirteen Tales from Urban Bohemia. Following a tweet shot out asking when the band would be heading back to our neck of the woods, a reply simply said: next year. Keep your eyes and ears open for that one.

Public Enemy Add Dates Heading out this way to work their magic at a few festivals next year, Public Enemy have kindly tagged on a few smaller shows for those who love their music in a more intimate setting. This year the band was recognised for their significance in the hip hop world when they were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It has been over 25 years since the band released their debut album, Yo! Bum Rush the Show. The Corner – March 4.

Andy Brown Joins Leith

Earthcore Awaits

Damien Leith is on tour, and making life a little easier on the road and a little warmer on the stage is Canadian singer-songwriter Andy Brown. We became more familiar with Andy when he performed at Woodford Folk Festival in January. Andy and Damien also made a connection and ended up writing a couple of songs together, ‘See You Again’ and ‘Never Forget’. Thornbury Theatre – November 30.

Just a friendly reminder that gates for Earthcore open at 3 p.m. today (November 28), with the tunes set to get underway at 12-midday on Friday, November 29. At earthcore.com.au you will find all the information you need to make sure your festival experience is a memorable one. Making the trip and getting sorted can require a little patience, but keep calm and think about the greatness that awaits you.

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Battleships & Vancouver Sleep Clinic

Word to Michelle Grace Hunder

Sydney and Brisbane have come together by way of a sweet little double-bill featuring Battleships and Vancouver Sleep Clinic. Indie-rock cum post-Britpop lovelies Battleships will be showing off their new single ‘Take Your Rest’; Vancouver Sleep Clinic, on the other hand, is Tim Bettinson, a gifted singersongwriter who has just finished his last school exam ever, but has still found the time to join Battleships for a show at The Workers Club on November 29.

If your coffee book table is looking a little bare, Michelle Grace Hunder’s new book Rise is the perfect way to cover the bald spot. For the last couple of years, the photographer has been capturing the essence of Australian hip hop in live, studio and portrait settings. The book, slated for release early 2014, features snaps of Drapht, Seth Sentry, Illy, Pez, Spit Syndicate, Remi, Mantra, M-Phazes and Hau Latukefu.

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PERFORMING THE FEELER ALBUM IN FULL WITH HIS ORIGINAL BAND ‘THE STONEMASONS’

Wed 12 Mar Capital Theatre, Bendigo Thu 13 Mar Regent Multiplex, Ballarat Fri 14 Mar The Wool Exchange, Geelong TIX ON SALE NOW ‘Feeler 10 Year Anniversary Edition’ album out now Including Bonus CD ‘Feeler’ re-recorded with Bulgarian Symphony Orchestra www.petemurray.com FORTEMAG.COM.AU

THE

FORT-NIGHTLY

CALENDAR & GIG GUIDE Thursday November 28th BARWON CLUB HOTEL: Audemia, Buuilding Jericho, The Quarters BARWON HEADS HOTEL: Mic Night w/ Dave Dorman, Masters Of Dartness 8:30pm, Parmi Night $11.90 TORQUAY HOTEL: Grant Smillie BEAVS BAR: Zeptepi, Alister Turrill, Henschke (Band Room) Dave Anderson (Main Room) BLACK HATT: Night in the Bar from 5pm till 7pm, Open Mic from 8pm with acoustic, bands, solos & duets THE BRIDGE HOTEL (CASTLEMAINE): The Impossible No Goods w/ Dead EUREKA: From Simon One, Shorty J, Pinky, Max McKay, Dawson, Vickers, Steve Toppa and more CITY QUARTER BAR: 50% off Menu ELEPHANT & CASTLE: $20 Asahi Seafood & Chips Night GPAC: Alex Williamson Live KAROVA LOUNGE: The Nerve (COG/Mammal) THE MAX HOTEL: $12 Parmi All Day All Night, Inquizitive Trivia from 7.30pm THE SPHINX HOTEL: Night from $13

Friday November 29th AT THE HEADS: Live music from 5pm till 7pm (Barwon Heads) BASEMENT LOUNGE & NIGHTCLUB: TCK, Recluse THE CARLTON HOTEL: Kristy Wilson BARWON CLUB HOTEL: Toe to Toe, Crowned Kings, Rust Proof, Cold Ground, Declaration BARWON HEADS HOTEL: Happy Hour 5- 7pm BEAVS BAR: Steve Pianto TORQUAY HOTEL: Kid Mac BLACK HATT: Drink Promos from 5-7 Blackshaw’s Beat THE BRIDGE HOTEL (CASTLEMAINE): DD Dumbo (Vinyl EP Launch) W/ Rhath CITY QUARTER BAR: Friday Unwind from 5pm. Live with live entertainment and DJ EARTHCORE 20TH ANNIERSARY: Shpongle, Raja Ram, Tsuyoshi, Michele Adamson, Blur Tech + many more! ELEPHANT & CASTLE: Thank Guinness It’s Friday EDGE GEELONG: Live entertainment plus DJ THE MAIN BAR (Ballarat): Mal Webb THE GROVEDALE HOTEL: 80’s R’ Us LAMBY’S BAR &

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RESTAURANT: Live band & DJs Main Room and Terrace, open from 9pm PIPING HOT CHICKEN SHOP (OCEAN GROVE): Nick Barker W/ Dan Walker and friends THE LOFT (WARRNAMBOOL) (WARRNAMBOOL): Bearded Gypsy Band, Max Savage & Benny Walker THE MAX HOTEL : Adventure Playground OLD HEPBURN HOTEL: Open Mic Night THE SPHINX HOTEL: Retro Ago-Go

Saturday November 30th BARWON HEADS HOTEL: Ricky Bannister Fundraiser BASEMENT LOUNGE & NIGHTCLUB: Boogs, Silversix BEAVS BAR: Butters Live THE BRIDGE HOTEL (CASTLEMAINE): The Tim Richmond Band W/ Hoy (Single Launch) THE CARLTON HOTEL: C.J.Lee CITY QUARTER BAR: Live Entertainment and DJ ELEPHANT & CASTLE: The Glitter Gang

Sunday December 1st

BARWON CLUB HOTEL: Sunday Session on the deck from 2pm with le Chook, Dhunt, Moluck, Johnny El Pajaro, Surf Dad later Good Faces For Radio THE BRIDGE HOTEL (CASTLEMAINE): Checkerboard 4pm FREE! CITY QUARTER: Perfect Sunday Sesh EARTHCORE 20TH ANNIERSARY: Shpongle, Raja Ram, Tsuyoshi, Michele Adamson, Blur Tech + many more! EDGE GEELONG: Live entertainment plus DJ ELEPHANT & CASTLE: Live Jazz + from 6pm Parmi Night 6 Great Parmis $20 GEELONG RSL: Moonee Valley Jazz Band LAMBY’S BAR & RESTAURANT: Student and Industry Night Free Entry OLD HEPBURN HOTEL: Chris Wilson THE SPHINX HOTEL: Carvery from $17.00

Monday December 2nd BARWON CLUB HOTEL: $10 Parmis

EDGE: Live entertainment plus DJ

ELEPHANT & CASTLE: $20 Steak & Drink night

EARTHCORE 20TH ANNIERSARY: Shpongle, Raja Ram, Tsuyoshi, Michele Adamson, Blur Tech + many more!

LORD NELSON HOTEL: / Parmi & Pot for $15 on presentation of student I.D THE SPHINX HOTEL: Meals for $11

GPAC: Smokie TORQUAY HOTEL: Live music in The Sports bar from 9.30pm THE KAROVA LOUNGE: Them 9’s W/ Pretty Littles MARTIANS CAFE: Smoke Stack Rhino THE LOFT: Zeptepi & special guests THE MAIN BAR (Ballarat): Jazzbeans THE GROVEDALE HOTEL: Peta Evans HOME HOUSE: Upstairs: Special guest DJs, Downstairs: RnB /Hip Hop DJs LAMBY’S BAR & RESTAURANT: Live Band & DJs Mainroom and Terrace. Open from 9pm

Tuesday December 3rd ELEPHANT & CASTLE: $20 Steak & Drink night

GEELONG RSL:Steak Night $13 BEAVS BAR: Film Night Holy Motors THE SPHINX HOTEL: Meals for $11, Poker Night (free)

Wednesday December 4th

BARWON HEADS HOTEL: Trivia Night from 7:30pm

THE GATEWAY HOTEL: James Reyne

BEAVS BAR: Dave Anderson, Karaoke, Open Mic

THE WOOL EXCHANGE ENTERTAINMENT COMPLEX: SPIN CYCLE 2 Featuring/ Jungle Giants, Lurch and Chief, We the People and many more!!!

THE CARLTON HOTEL: Parmi & Pot $15

THE MAX HOTEL: Trojan

ELEPHANT & CASTLE: Trivia Night. Great Prizes from 8pm GEELONG RSL: Parma & Pot Night $13

WHISPERS: MASSIVE Yatch Club DJs , Touch Sensitive, Bnson, Katt Niall, Brooklyn plus DJ’s Max McKay, Simon One, Shorty J and more

THE BRIDGE HOTEL (CASTLEMAINE): Open Mic CITY QUARTER BAR: 50% off Menu

THE SPHINX HOTEL: Steak Night from $16, Poker Night ($10 buy in)

Thursday December 5th BARWON HEADS HOTEL: Open Mic Night w/ Dave Dorman, Masters of Dartness 8:30pm BEAVS BAR: Andy Forster Live BLACK HATT: Tradies Night in the Bar from 5pm till 7pm, Open Mic from 8pm with acoustic, bands, solos & duets THE BRIDGE HOTEL (CASTLEMAINE):The Gin Club (10th Anniversary Tour) W/ Van Walker EUREKA: From Simon One, Shorty J, Pinky, Max McKay, Dawson, Vickers, Steve Toppa and more ELEPHANT & CASTLE: $20 Asahi Seafood & Chips Night THE WOOL EXCHANGE ENTERTAINMENT COMPLEX: Birds of Tokyo THE MAX HOTEL: Parmi All Day All Night $12, InnQUIZitive Trivia from 7.30pm till 10.30pm, amazing prizes, call to book your team’s spot THE SPHINX HOTEL: Schnitzel Night from $13

Friday December 6th BARWON CLUB HOTEL: FFC, Masons Way, The Unpretier (qld), No Ones Home, Fot Soldier, Beerfridge AT THE HEADS: Live music from 5pm till 7pm (Barwon Heads)

LAMBY’S BAR & RESTAURANT: Live Band & DJs Mainroom and Terrace. Open from 9pm

Saturday December 7th

THE CARLTON HOTEL: Loretta Dawes

BARWON CLUB HOTEL: Glittergang

BASEMENT LOUNGE & NIGHTCLUB: Airwolf, D.M.T, James Moriarty, Nick Farago

LAMBY’S BAR & RESTAURANT: Live Band & DJs Mainroom and Terrace. Open from 9pm

BAR PIZZA: Pat Bourke

THE CARLTON HOTEL: Kristy Wilson

THE BARWON HEADS HOTEL: Happy Hour 5-7pm

BASEMENT LOUNGE & NIGHTCLUB: Steve Ward, Hands Down

BEAVS BAR: Rosco Live

BEAVS BAR: Steve Pianto Live

BLACK HATT: Drink promos from 5pm till 7pm (free entry), Public Nuisance Live THE BRIDGE HOTEL (CASTLEMAINE): Lilith Lane CITY QUARTER BAR: Friday Unwind with live music then DJ EDGE GEELONG: Live music plus DJ ELEPHANT & CASTLE: Thank Guinness It’s Friday THE MAIN BAR (Ballarat): The Mondlarks Hammond B3 trio Debut Ep Launch THE GROVEDALE HOTEL: The Regular Boys THE MAX HOTEL: Trojan

THE BRIDGE HOTEL (CASTLEMAINE) : Cash Savage & The Last Drinks W/ Eaten by Dogs CITY QUARTER BAR: live entertainment and DJ EDGE GEELONG: Live music and DJ ELEPHANT & CASTLE: Live Band HARVESTER MOON: Carus Thompson MARTIANS CAFE: Lily & The Drum THE GROVEDALE HOTEL: Cam Bryce

Simple Plan, Millencolin, New Found Glory + Many more!

SPHINX HOTEL: Carvery from $17.00

BEAVS BAR: Andy Forster, Karaoke and Open Mic

THE CORNER HOTEL (Melbourne): Saskwatch

OLD HEPBURN HOTEL: CYNDI BOSTE (album launch) W/ by Jeremy Edwards

THE BRIDGE HOTEL (CASTLEMAINE): Open Mic

THE MAX HOTEL: 3 On The Tree SPHINX HOTEL: BEEGESS Tribute Show WHISPERS: DJ’s including from Matt Watkins, Slice n Dice, Lucille Croft, Frazr Adam, Jungle Jim, Butters, Courtney Mills, Zoolander, Who Killed Mickey, Joel Fletcher, Yatch Club DJs, Katt Nial

Sunday December 8th BLACK HATT: Bergman and the Balladeers BARWON CLUB HOTEL: Sunday Session on the deck from 2pm with le Chook, Ken Evil, Moluck, DJ Bum Trip, Michael Coma later Test Pilot Molly CITY QUARTER: Perfect Sunday Sesh THE BRIDGE HOTEL (CASTLEMAINE): Checkerboard 4pm FREE!

TORQUAY HOTEL: Live music in The Sports bar from 9.30pm

EDGE GEELONG: Geordie Shore’s Scotty T - Live music plus DJ

HOME HOUSE: Upstairs: Nick Coleman (Suckmusic) Jane Daffy, Downstairs: Best RNB / Hip Hop DJ Kay Z

ELEPHANT & CASTLE: Live Jazz + from 6pm Parmi Night 6 Great Parmis $20

TORQUAY HOTEL: Live music in The Sports bar from 9.30pm

THE GATEWAY HOTEL: The Chantoozies

OLD HEPBURN HOTEL: Performance Night

THE KAROVA LOUNGE: Bad News Toilet

THE SPHINX HOTEL: Retro Ago-Go

VANS WARPED TOUR (Birrarung Marr): The Offspring, Parkway Drive,

GEELONG RSL: Royal garden Jazz Band LAMBY’S BAR & RESTAURANT: Party with Geordie Shore’s Scotty T FROM 11PM - Student & Industry Night (Free entry all night) w/ Live band & DJs in the Mainroom and Terrace

Monday December 9th BARWON CLUB HOTEL: KYLESA (USA) plus Dead! + the Underhanded $35 + BF $10 Parmis

THE CARLTON HOTEL: Parmi & Pot $15 CITY QUARTER BAR: 50% off Menu ELEPHANT & CASTLE: Trivia Night from 8.30pm till 10.30pm GEELONG RSL: Parma & Pot Night $13 THE SPHINX HOTEL: Steak Night from $16, Poker Night ($10 buy in)

ELEPHANT & CASTLE: $20 Steak & Drink night THE SPHINX HOTEL: 11 Meals for $11

Tuesday December 10th BRIDGE HOTEL (CASTLEMAINE): Trivia Night (Sponsored by Mountain Goat) hosted by Lifon from 7.30pm, free event ELEPHANT & CASTLE: $20 Steak & Drink night GEELONG RSL: Steak Night $13 THE SPHINX HOTEL: 11 Meals for $11, Poker Night (free)

Thursday December 12th BARWON HEADS HOTEL: Open Mic Night w/ Dave Dorman, Masters of Dartness BLACK HATT: Tradies Night in the Bar from 5pm till 7pm, Open Mic from 8pm with acoustic, bands, solos & duets THE BRIDGE HOTEL (CASTLEMAINE):Annie and Bern CITY QUARTER BAR: 50% off Menu ELEPHANT & CASTLE: $20 Asahi Seafood & Chips Night HARVESTER MOON: Dustin Tebbutt

Wednesday December 11th

THE MAX HOTEL: Parmi All Day All Night $12, InnQUIZitive Trivia from 7.30pm till 10.30pm, amazing prizes, call to book your team’s spot

BARWON HEADS HOTEL: Trivia Night from 7:30pm

THE SPHINX HOTEL: Schnitzel Night from $13

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Reel Big Fish By Natalie Rogers

We’re now on the countdown to Vans Warped Tour 2013, and with giddy excitement I took a call from Aaron Barrett. No big deal – he’s only the lead singer/songwriter of Reel Big Fish, a band that helped millions of ska fans across the world to unite, drink beer and dance. Aaron is as charming as he is sarcastic (as evident in the band’s albums titles Everything Sucks!, We’re Not Happy Till You’re Not Happy and Our Live Album is Better Than Your Live Album, etc.) and he firmly believes that tours like Warped are saving humanity one show at a time. “With the invention of the internet and advancement of technology, somehow the world’s got smaller. People aren’t leaving their houses as much anymore; they’re too concerned with keeping in touch over Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. People don’t call each other anymore! The only way you made friends ten or fifteen years ago was to go out, to go see a show. My hope is that people will get sick of being attached to their mobile devices.

After almost twenty years of skankin’ around the world and watching other Orange County contemporaries sell out or fall apart, RBF have stood the test of time – even with the departure of band members and the ‘scene’ disappearing. “Every night of the week in Orange County, California, you could go to see a ska show and there were so many bands. That was really what inspired the forming of RBF. Although it’s not like that anymore, we’re not going anywhere! “We’ve been lucky we had a great community of musicians to call on and say ‘hey do you wanna come join the band?’, and I think our longevity stems from the fact that we’ve never been concerned with how tight our jeans are or how good our hair looks. It’s all about how great we can sound and if we can make the audience laugh!” Candy Coated Fury is RBF’s seventh studio album and Aaron tells me it’s a throw-back to where it all began: “It’s a lot like our first two albums: the energy, the sarcasm – it’s authentic Reel Big Fish.”

“It’s shows like the Warped Tour that get people out, to cut the cord for a day [laughs] and interact with each other. It’s great knowing that community still exists to this day, that people just wanna have fun and play music and forget about their troubles for at least one day.

Aaron said his love of sarcasm and his dry sense of humour appeared at a young age: “I picked up on the concept of sarcasm very early on; I was always drawn to the darker side of comedy. But really, I just try to write lyrics that everyone can relate to. People like to think that they’re not alone and song lyrics can do that; it can be a kind of comforting feeling. I myself feel lucky, and I know all of us in the band feel lucky, that we’ve been able to connect to a lot of people around the world.”

“So that’s what we’re going to bring! It’s going to be an extravaganza of organised chaos fuelled by the good people of Australia!”

So dust off your Converse, pull on your best Hawaiian shirt, quiff your hair and join in the fun! – And, as Aaron says, “be prepared for a skankin’ good time!”

when&where: Vans Warpped Tour, Melbourne - Saturday December 7

with. (Drummer Cyrus Bolooki replaced Joe Marino following the release of their debut EP.) New Found Glory released their debut album, Nothing Gold Can Stay, in 1999. It featured samples from The Outsiders and Weird Science. Emerging as the second wave of pop punk in the late ’90s, the band is widely considered a key pioneer of the genre. New Found Glory released their seventh album in 2011. Titled Radiosurgery, the album was apparently written as a concept album about the emotional rollercoaster of a divorce.

he headed overseas for the first time, travelling across Europe for six weeks of contests, demos and appearances. Neal has five X Games medals in vert skating, earning titles at the Shanghai Showdown and the Skatepark of Tampa Pro Vert Contest. He has participated in the Vans Warped tour for over ten years, skated on Tony Hawk’s Boom Boom Huck Jam and reported for Fuel TV. He also skated in the closing ceremonies of the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta, Georgia. He has found a second life as a photographer in a style he refers to as “Silent Photography”. He says: “Looking through a lens is no longer about documenting the places that I’ve skateboarded, but about capturing moments in the lives of people who live so differently from me, who get through their day in unusual ways, and who have never even seen a skateboard.”

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VANS WARPPED TOUR 2013... Millencolin

Millencolin are a punk rock band formed out of Örebro, Sweden in 1992, maintaining the original line-up of Nikola Sarcevic, Mathias Färm, Erik Ohlsson and Fredrik Larzon since. (Larzon was the final piece of the puzzle, joining the band the following year.) Millencolin released their debut album, Tiny Tunes, in 1994, with an album cover that mimicked the cartoon television show Tiny Toon Adventures. The album would be re-released as Same Old Tunes in 1998. The band is also a popular force in Australia, saying in a recent interview with The Sydney Morning Herald: “There is something about our music that works together with the Australian lifestyle.”

Parkway Drive

The undisputed champions of metalcore in Australia, Parkway Drive formed out of Byron Bay

at the end of 2002. They derived their name from the street name that housed their jamming house, affectionately known as ‘Parkway House’. They released their debut full-length album, Killing With a Smile, in 2005. 2012 saw the release of their fourth album, Atlas. Once again recorded in Los Angeles, the album debuted at #3 on the ARIA Charts. In September of this year the band released Ten Years of Parkway Drive, a book capturing ten years in the band’s life. When asked by Absolute Punk which musician he would like to spend the day as, Winston McCall said: “Tom Waits, and I wouldn’t even want to say a thing. I just want to hear him talk and hear some stories; what a life.”

New Found Glory

Hailing from Coral Springs, Florida, New Found Glory formed in 1997. To date the band has released seven studios albums while maintaining almost the same line-up they started out

Dennis McCoy

In the world of BMX, Dennis “DMC” McCoy is a legend. He first started riding in 1980, before turning pro in 1986. Along with Ron Wilkerson, McCoy is a pioneer of BMX, influencing pretty much every BMX rider under the sun including Dave Mirra, referred to as the most decorated rider in BMX history. McCoy is often referred to as the ‘Grandfather of BMX’. McCoy is the only BMX rider to have competed at every X Games since its 1995 inception. Between 1986 and 1995 he won the overall flatland/ramp title every year, a period known as the ‘Decade of Dominance’. For every contest he has entered, McCoy has never failed to reach the finals – with the exception of being unconscious.

Neal Hendrix

Growing up in Lewisville, North Carolina, Hendrix began skating in the mid-’80s. Driveways and backyards became his home. In 1991 he turned pro, the same month he graduated from high school. In the summer

Renton Millar

Australia’s own Renton Millar turned pro in 1998. He first started skating in 1987, as it was the thing to do and all his mates were doing it. It was after watching his first vert demo that his casual interest became something more. He rose to prominence in 2001 after Globe Shoes, his sponsor, released the video ‘Opinion’. In the video he shared time with the late Ben Pappas. Millar has competed at The Munster Monster Mastership (Germany), the X Games, Gravity Games, Vans Triple Crown, Mystic Cup (Czech Republic) and Canada’s Slam City Jam. 2009 and 2012 were big years for Millar: he ended 2009 as World Cup Vert Points Champion and in 2012 took top honours at the inaugural Australian Bowl-riding Championship (Hurley ABC Contest).

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Living Colour written by Zach Broadhurst

If you don’t know the name you certainly should, because Living Colour is Rock Royalty. The band behind one of the biggest songs of the late 80s – ‘Cult of Personality’ – at one point were opening stadium shows with Guns N’ Roses and The Rolling Stones. Led by guitarist Vernon Reid – who has played on the records of musical legends such as Mick Jagger, B.B. King, Ramones and Carlos Santana – the band will be heading to Australia in 2014 to play the upcoming Soundwave festivals. “It’s been quite a while since we have been out to Australia,” says Reid. “I remember a lovely lady, and I won’t say anything more about that.” One thing Reid will elaborate on is what Australian fans can expect when Living Colour reaches our shores. “Expect a lot of soul. You’re going to see a lot of stuff, a lot of gear, but at the heart of it it’s really a band that’s very exploratory and about soul. We are very surreal, whatever that means.” Their laundry list of successes hasn’t come easy, however. When Living Colour first formed, their unique sound, their political views and their African America heritage were the complete opposite of what was getting radio play. “Rock radio used to be completely open, but by the time I had started a band it had been completely closed off and was almost completely free of black influence,” explains Reid. “All music that didn’t conform and please their demographic was closed out. “I grew up in a time when I used to hear James Brown

and Otis Redding and then all the sudden they were off, so we were facing a real problem. Besides the fact that we were African Americans, we were also very much a band that talked about social ideas like racism, but also just about life.” Fortunately, and with a little help from friend Mick Jagger, Living Colour broke into the mainstream and got to share their diverse fusion of free jazz, funk, hip hop, hard rock and heavy metal with the world; a sound Reid developed through his childhood of listening to whatever caught his ear. “The great thing about my parents was they didn’t tell me what music was cool and what music wasn’t cool,” says Reid. “They didn’t ever tell me, ‘that music is bad’, so I listen to music without it being coloured by prodigious. So my early memories of music are just liking things because I did.” After decades of playing with some of the biggest names in music, you can consider Reid somewhat of an authority when it comes to the music industry, suggesting mainstream music and especially R&B doesn’t have the same feeling it used to. “It’s [the industry] very interesting and very chaotic. There are a lot of things I like and there are a lot of things I don’t,” says Reid. “I am generally very saddened because music used to always be about the truth, about the emotional truth of something; whether it was melodramatic like motown or raw, it was all about the truth. “It’s astonishing how artificial and very distant from emotion current R&B is. It’s actually stunning.”

When&Where: Soundwave @ Flemington Racecourse – February 28

Rose Cousins written by Tex Mille

Before November this year, Rose Cousins had never toured Australia. By next March when she takes to the stage for the 38th Port Fairy Folk Festival, she will have played around the country twice whilst in support of her third solo release entitled We Have Made a Spark. Chatting to Rose before the first run of dates, things are hectically busy as she prepares to make the trek over. Having just returned from a 48-date tour on the back of the release of the album, as expected it’s nice to be home and relaxing for a few days before heading out on the road again. “At the moment there is a lot of laundry and trying to figure out what I need to repack for the tour. For many years I‘ve heard some great things about Australia, so to be able to see it for myself is truly fantastic,” Rose said From just a quick Google search, the accolades that have followed this release are quite respectable, and Rose now joins a small list of artists that have taken out a Juno award for Album of the Year. (Canada’s version of the ARIAs, and an award that has been won in the past by Old Man Luedecke, Bruce Cockburn and Lynn Miles to name but just a few.) “None of those things are things that you expect, but it’s really nice because I think that this is the most organic record that I have made. I collaborated with a lot of people on this record and I think that is one of the main reasons why it resonates so well. The album has a really live and organic feel to it and that comes down to how we recorded it. It feels,

breathes and flows like a performance, and I think that is what sets it apart from my other records.” Growing as a songwriter and performing artist since her 2006 debut If You Were Here, Rose thinks that this is her greatest selection of work due to the relaxed nature of the recording sessions. Like many artists before her, the awards and acclaim that comes after an album release isn’t why she is in the business; it’s for the love of the music, more than fame and fortune. “Over the past few years there have been poignant moments where I have been able to reflect back as an artist on where I have come from and where I am going to. The awards are great and everything, but you can’t beat the real audience reaction at a live gig. Having the opportunities to travel with my music has allowed me to see some places that I may not have been able to otherwise,” Rose said about life on the road. Touring around the country with Jordie Lane throughout December as well as a gig at Woodford over the New Year’s period and Port Fairy in 2014, there are numerous opportunities to hear this album in the live setting. And as you would expect, Rose is excited about her debut tour which kicked off a few weeks ago. “Jordie Lane is such a fantastic songwriter and performer and I can’t wait to tour with him. It’ll be great to see Australia, so come out and hear the album when you get a chance – and don’t forget to say G’day!”

Kylesa written by Natalie Rogers

“All I can really say about Australia is that Australians love to rock. I noticed that at Soundwave. Come on … AC/DC are from Australia. You can’t get more rock ‘n’ roll than that!” exclaimed Laura Pleasants, frontwoman of Georgia’s metal-rock band Kylesa. “Soundwave 2011 was a really great experience for us; it was a lot of fun. We’re excited to be coming back for our first headline tour. We’ll get to play a full set and have our full setup, instead of just hopping up on stage at a festival and ripping through some songs. I can’t wait!” Since 2001 Kylesa (pronounced Kai-less-ah) have slowly risen from the underground music scene of Savannah, Georgia to reach people on the other side of the world. Playing seven shows in seven days down the east coast of Australia is not for the fainthearted, but Laura assures me they’re up to it. “For us, Australia is so far away from home and hard to get to, but it doesn’t look like there’ll be a lot of time for R and R. I wish there was but it seems like we’ll be just haulin’ ass most of the time!” Laura laughed. “We’re from Georgia, the centre of the deep south. I moved there from a couple of states away to go to college, an art school. There was a community of artists there, so it’s not like I was surrounded by a bunch of country bumpkins! But as a counter-culture band it’s hard to do what we do and succeed. We’ve always had to struggle against the odds, so we

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really love to play to people who just enjoy music that’s a little out of the box and outside the norm of easy radio-friendly material.” Kylesa’s latest offering, Ultraviolet, sees the band continuing to experiment, using their unique combination of two vocalists and two drummers. “Our new album is more trance-like than our earlier, more aggressive material. It definitely feels that way when I’m playing the songs. Performing these songs is so cathartic: Kylesa is taken from a Buddhist term, and I’m always Zen-like when I play. Our songs have a very expressive and free feel to them. We always want to push boundaries and challenge what is accepted as metal or rock, or even psychedelic music.” Champions of the underground music scene, Kylesa are also the driving force behind newly launched indie record label Retro Futurist, committed to showcasing promising talent. (Learn more at retrofuturistrecords.com.) Fans of Kyuss, Baroness and Red Fang, or any music lover craving something new, should not miss the rare opportunity to see Kylesa in a small, intimate setting. “We’re thankful to be able to come to Australia and share the experience.” When&Where: The Corner, Melbourne – December 8 & The Barwon, Geelong – December 9; Howler, Melbourne – December 10

When&Where: Port Fairy Folk Festival – March 7 through 10

TALK OF THE

TOWN!

Keepin' it Regional!

shaun kirk

kid mac

the nerve

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TALK OF THE TOWN! Talk of the Town: Where in time we’ll be dancing in the streets all night. Coming up you have… .........................................................................

New Possibilities for I am Duckeye

Australia’s comedy rock supremos I am Duckeye recently took to Pozible to raise some moolah for their second album. At this stage the album is working under the title Commando Too. Making music is a tough gig. Hell, Duckees took five years to put out their first album (Husband) and there is no way they want to keep you waiting that long again. They’re looking to raise $5000, with the deadline January 24. Pledges start for as little as $5. But you know the deal: the more hard-earned cash you part with, the bigger the reward. A $20 pledge will score you the chance to download an advanced copy of the album, which would be very sweet indeed. Hit up pozible. com/project/35796 to give ’em a hand. Oh, and if you don’t know them, check out their track ‘Punching Dicks’. .........................................................................

Welcome to the NightJar

The ‘Independent Artist’s Festival’ that is the NightJar market puts the beauty and the talent of the Surf Coast on show throughout January. Taking place Thursday evening/nights from 4 p.m. to 10 p.m., Nightjar is a mix of music, art, entertainment and unique craft stalls. There is even a magical story tent which will keep the little ones amused. The main stage will host a top quality selection of emerging local and Melbourne acts, while the buskers pit is a chance to enjoy some of the cooler buskers plying their trade. A fantastic selection of food from around the world will be made available, with local boutique beers and wines thrown in for good measure. The NightJar is located at Torquay Common, just near the corner of Bell Street and Surf Beach Drive, Torquay. Entry is a cool $5; kids are free. If you want to know more, take a squizz at nightjarmarket.com.au. .........................................................................

Luke Legs in Solo Mode

We know and love Luke Legs as the ringleader of Luke Legs and the Midnight Specials, an outfit that delivers four-part harmonies laced with a touch of west-coast altcountry. The band released their debut album Why Oh Why (My Caroline) in 2012, and saw the year out with a string of ripping shows. Their new single is ‘Twenty Dollar Counter Meal’, an ode to the classic pub meal high on salt and taste. Luke: “I wanted to write the kind of song which will make Australians living overseas really homesick, sad and hungry. And I also wanted it to be a piece of music that Australians can play to the world and say, ‘This is what a weeknight in Melbourne feels like’.” Away from his band duties, Luke does a mighty fine job in solo mode, and you’ll get to see it for yourself at The Barwon Club, Geelong on December 21. .........................................................................

The World of Mal Webb

Songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, looping beat-boxer, vocal manipulator and adventurer Mal Webb began learning percussion at the age of four. While his profile didn’t specify whether this percussion was pots and pans, he did spend his early years immersed in music, picking up the trombone at the age of 10. He later performed his first paying gig at the age of 14, before picking up the guitar at 16. More than a few years have passed since those days, with his freakish talents leading to appearances on Spicks and Specks and John Safran’s Music Jamboree. He also recorded with Aurora Jane on their Deep End album and wrote and performed the music for Frank Woodley’s TV show, Woodley. You can throw in three CDs to that as well. His vocal talents can be checked out on his YouTube performance of ‘Four Chords and 68 Songs in Two Minutes’. Main Bar, Ballarat – November 29. .........................................................................

Going Toe to Toe

Old School Cartel is thrilled to Mexican Stand Off, a massive show featuring NSW hardcore veterans Toe to Toe and a stack of friends. Some readers may not have been born when the band announced their arrival in 1992. Heavily influenced by hardcore bands including Bad Brains, Hardcore Poison and Agnostic Front, Toe

to Toe was founded by Scott McFadyen, aka Scott Mac, the man who would also found Resist Records. Driven by a desire to reintroduce the hardcore punk sounds of the 1980s, the band has earned a worthy place among the most respected in the hardcore scene. Washingtonborn, Melbourne-based political activist and artist Azlan McLennan has gone as far as to say he regards them as superior to their US counterparts. They’ll be joined by Crowned Kings, Cold Ground, Rust Proof and Declaration at The Barwon Club, Geelong on November 29. .........................................................................

A Close Shave with The Bearded Gypsy Band

While still at high school, Tom Boehm (violin/mandolin), Kiah Gossner (bass) and Tom Kneebone (guitar) slapped together a little performance troupe for an end of year performance. The Bearded Gypsy Band was born here. In 2008 they kept things going, albeit on a small level playing the occasional gig at a coffee lounge. It wasn’t too long before the occasional gig wasn’t enough, so they got cracking. In 2010 they were invited to perform at the Higher Ground’s Shimmering West Music Festival at the Adelaide Fringe, they secured the talents of drummer Max Tulysewski, and they recorded their first album. The gigs have continued left, right and centre, while supports have been played alongside The Woohoo Revue, The Snowdroppers, Vardos and The Rooftops. The Loft, Warrnambool – November 29. With Max Savage and Benny Walker.

Kingswood & Calling All Cars There was a time when the Kingswood ruled the world of cars. These days the name has been adopted by some Melbourne lads, and they’re doing a pretty good job of ruling the music world. The indie-rock four-piece has filled their year with a national tour supporting Grinspoon, warming things up for Aerosmith, rocking their socks off at Groovin’ the Moo and showing their stuff at the Big Day Out. They also spent a little time in the US. The Life’s a Beach tour sees them teaming up with Calling All Cars (Cars, Kingswood; what is going on there?) for a string of shows around the country. Kingswood has their new single ‘Sucker Punch’ to show off, while Calling All Cars are in red hot form with their new single ‘Werewolves’. Barwon Heads Hotel, Barwon Heads – December 29 & Torquay Hotel, Torquay – December 30.

Zeptepi Catch Their Breath

FEATURE: Fusing elements of post-punk acts like The Pogues and The Waterboys, Zeptepi (ancient Egyptian for ‘the beginning of time’; ‘the time of the Gods’) come at you like a high energy foot-stompin’ folk-rock freight train. Oh, and they do it all with the almighty power of the electric banjo. Singer and guitarist Phil Dean started the band in 2001. Although he came from a line of Cornish Master Mariners, the English-born songman decided that singing about sea life was preferable to living the sea life. To date this love of song has led to a string of albums, including their latest Coming up for Air. The band’s performances include spots at the National Celtic Festival, Port Fairy Folk Festival, Maldon Folk Festival and the Apollo Bay Music Festival, as well as international performances at Hull Folk and Burnham-on-Sea. As well as Coming up for Air, as a bonus treat the band has a sweet little 7-track live EP out as well. Recorded at the Ladder Factory Studios in Oxfordshire on their August tour of the UK, the EP features a rendition of ‘Waltzing Matilda’. You can download Waltzing Matilda for free through SoundCloud. Beav’s Bar, Geelong – November 28; Babushka, Ballarat – November 29; The Loft, Warrnambool – November 30; The Bridge, Castlemaine – December 6; Cowrie Market, Torquay – December 15. .........................................................................

There’s No Slaying The Giants

Established in 1981, and recording and touring since 1990, The Giants are well-deserved recipients of their “living, breathing Australian rock and roll institution” title (Paul Stewart, Melbourne Herald Sun). The blues-rock giant (yep, that was deliberate) is Stuart Wood on vocals, guitar and harmonica; Mark Greig on guitar; Tony Reynolds on bass; Stewart Elliot on guitar; and Robert Saad on drums. With over 30 years in the game they have worked up a pretty impressive resume, including tours of the USA, Europe and New Zealand and the release of over a dozen albums. The band also made an announcement recently regarding a live DVD/CD. They are widely regarded as one of the world’s leading motorcycle lifestyle bands. Straight Shooters, Colac – December 14.

Shaun Kirk’s Case of the Blues Quick bite: I doubt there is any reader of this fine publication who hasn’t come across the name Shaun Kirk. The Melbourne-born and bred muso is widely regarded as one of the hottest properties in the blues/soul game. Starting his career playing in Melbourne’s boutique bars and cafés, Kirk quit his part-time job at a music store in 2010 to channel all his energies into performing. And what a decision it proved to be, with the songman building a solid reputation among music lovers and critics alike. Babushka, Ballarat – November 30. “The most exciting blues talent this country has seen in a long time” – Matthew Frederick, PBS FM.

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Smoke Stack Rhino’s New Blues

There are many who feel that all music owes its life to the blues. Founder of Roadjunky.com, Tom Thumb, writes: “Virtually all modern music in the West owes a profound debt to the American black man. If not for the soul and expression imported so cruelly from Africa there would be no blues, no soul and no jazz – and hence no R’B, no rock and roll, no rap, no hip hop and no funk. If not for the plaintive laments of black slaves working in cotton

The name The Electric SunKings grows more familiar with each passing week. Combining elements of classic rock and psychedelic music, the band has been winning great favour with audiences throughout 2013. They have released two EPs, and according to an interview we had with the lads earlier in the year a full-length is in the works. Vocalist and guitarist Chris Barbetti told us: “Currently we are working on our debut album, unnamed at the moment, and it will hopefully be out this year … I don’t want to give too much away about the record so far, but it might be out on vinyl. It will be worth the wait when it eventually comes out.” The band also recently made the top 20 in the People’s Choice category of the Australian Independent Music Awards. Congratulations guys; keep up the good work. The Karova, Ballarat – December 7.

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Quick bite: It’s not long now before Birds of Tokyo swing by Geelong. The band released their fourth album, March Fires, earlier this year. The Sydney Morning Herald gave it four stars, writing: “March Fires is a gem and channels emotion but never to the point of nausea, leaving you feeling comfortable in the pleasant tones of a band that know what they are doing.” The band is also on opening duties for Muse, capping off another pretty darn good year for the band. The Wool Exchange Entertainment Complex, Geelong – December 5.

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The Electric SunKings’ Old School Ways

Birds of Tokyo March On

The Beats of Lily and the Drum The two-piece configuration is more popular today than it has ever been, and fair enough. It’s hard tracking down like-minded people, so if you can find just the one that shares your vision, why not go for it. And so we get duos like Lily and the Drum spreading their tunes. Lily and the Drum made their debut at Adelaide’s Promethean Theatre in 2011. In a world where technology and gadgetry dominates our lives, the duo set out to compose their sound in a “contemporary retro” fashion; that is, doing away with computer backing tracks and vocal pitch correctors. Music, they believe, should be honest and real; as Lily says, “It’s about the undeniable quality and sound produced from humans using real instruments.” Nobody Just Like Me is the name of their debut. Martians Café, Deans Marsh – December 7.

Courthouse ARTS Step Into the Wild We’ve seen some fantastic events take place at Courthouse ARTS this year, but no matter how busy they may be they always have one eye cast on the future. Into the Wild is a new production from Zac Linford and Alexandra Macalister-Bills. Featuring “monologue, dialogue and share house disasters”, the two half-hour plays have come straight out of the Fresh INK writing program at Courthouse ARTS. This is where aspiring actors come in. A touring ensemble show is being put together for 2014 so Courthouse ARTS is doing the call out to actors between 18 and 26 who would like to get involved. Successful applicants will receive the opportunity to work on new plays with new writers; they will also travel to perform in Sydney. A workshop/information session is lined up for December 10. Wear comfortable, loose fitting clothing. Hit courthouse.org.au for further information. (photo by Daniel Longo)

plantation in the Mississippi we would probably all still be singing polkas and hillbilly ballads today.” With that in mind, say hello to Smoke Stack Rhino, a new Melbourne band putting their own touch on the blues. Featuring exmembers of 22 Hundred, Electrik Dynamite and Phonik, SSR set out to explore what blues can sound like in the 21st Century. They have the licks and the grooves you need. Martians Café, Deans Marsh – November 30. .........................................................................

The Androgyny’s Musical Chemistry

Back in July Brisbane trio The Androgyny made such an impression on Bendigo that they have been invited back for another crack. The band was formed by Tessa Richards (vocals, guitar) and Emma Mallory (bass), with Laura Maccormac (drums) completing the line-up. The band has been described as being the offspring of Placebo and Hole; a band that mixes sweet and sour pop and alternative rock. We got our first taste of the band with the release of their 2012 debut EP, I Don’t Desire Your Empire, a release which saw them work with Neil Coombe (The Grates, The Go Betweens). The gals have spent a fair portion of 2013 promoting the release, most recently its third single ‘I’m Not Your Heroine’. The best news is that on their return you will also be able to enjoy sounds from their new EP, Chemistry. The Music Man Megastore, Bendigo – November 30. .........................................................................

Grace Knight is Keeping it Cool

English-born Grace Knight has a musical career that stretches back to the 1970s where she performed as a folk singer in cabaret clubs before relocating to Perth in 1977. Here she met guitarist and singer Bernie Lynch, with whom she formed Living Single. The band would later change their name to Eurogliders, an outfit best-known for their 1984 single ‘Heaven (Must Be There)’. Eurogliders disbanded in 1989; however, music has remained in Knight’s soul. Now a jazz artist, the songwoman has performed for five Australian Prime Ministers, President Clinton of the United States, Princess Diana, and the Thai Royal Family. She has just released her latest album, Keep Cool Fool. Grace: “Inspired by the Mad Men TV series and the fifties and sixties in general, I recorded a collection of beautiful, naughty, sad and just damn groovy songs.” Civic Hall @ COPACC – December 6. .........................................................................

Outloud Festival @ The Newmarket

FEATURE: This weekend sees Bendigo’s Newmarket Hotel salute rock. Hosted by locals the Black Aces, halfa-dozen bands are set to invade the venue across Friday and Saturday night, playing the kind of music for bad boys and the chicks that love ’em. Drawing inspiration from AC/ DC, Rose Tattoo and The Angels, Black Aces set out to perform “fire-breathing, chest beating rock and roll”. The band ain’t shy either, with groups of twenty or more people known to join the band on stage. Earlier in the year, road diggin’ rock outfit The Deep End embarked on a 23-date tour of Australia and New Zealand in support of their debut album Cop This. The commitment the Melbourne band has shown to their craft has also resulted in month-long

residencies at The Espy and Cherry Bar. Now they’re at it again, this time in support of their new single ‘No Time to Rest’. With their first headlining tour of Europe lined up for February 2014 things are looking pretty sweet for this straight-up rock band. “These five rockers undeniably live up to the high standards set by those before them on their debut album – a CD overflowing with fist-pumping attitude” – Sleaze Roxx. The Outloud Festival takes place at The Newmarket on November 29 (Massive, Heston Drop and Lowpoint) and November 30 (The Deep End, Rabid Zulu and Cold Red Mute). .........................................................................

Bendigo Craft Beer Festival

This Saturday, November 30, Bendigo will raise its glass to its inaugural Craft Beer Festival. Taking place at the Bendigo Racecourse, the festival will host some of the finest craft beers and ciders from around Victoria. Craft beer is booming, attracting those looking for something a little different in their beer. As the name suggests, it’s about crafting something out of the ordinary. If you have a flavour combination brewing in your head, the chances are you will be able to craft it. Guests include beer writer and educator Pete Mitcham and Kirrily Waldhorn, Australia’s “beer diva” who has set out to educate people about the benefits of matching the perfect brew with your food. Jackson Firebird, APES, Well Hungarians, Talisa Jobe and Dan Rolls will also be on hand to deliver some top-notch tunes. There is even a jumping castle and face painting for the kids. More can be found through bendigocraftbeerfestival. com.au. .........................................................................

Come Down to The Comma

The Comma Hotel in Castlemaine (formerly The Commercial Hotel) has undergone a bit of a facelift and is looking better than ever. James Evans and Paul Coronel are the new owners of the venue and their aim is to not only create a venue where the music is perfect, but a place where people can come together to share conversations. It has been a busy month but there still remains a little left. Currently exhibiting is the work of Melissa Scott. Melissa coordinated the Castlemaine Fringe Festival visual arts program, overseeing the work of over 40 local and interstate artists. Her Comma exhibition is titled Touched and runs until December 8. Music wise you have Janette Geri and James Cox seeing out November with some gorgeous tunes on November 29. Geri will delight you with her talent, warmth and playfulness. Coming up you have Talisa Jobe. .........................................................................

Tim Richmond Plays On

Quick bite: Melbourne songman Tim Richmond formed his first band as a fifteen-year-old, a Sonic Youth-inspired alt-rock outfit. He was gigging most weekends until the age of 18, when he stopped playing for almost ten years. He kept writing songs – he just didn’t perform them – and in 2008 released his self-titled debut solo album. Dot followed, an album Richmond refers to as a portrait of his 20s. He also co-owns North Fitzroy’s LongPlay. The Bridge, Castlemaine – November 30.

Spin Cycle 2

New Year on the Pier

We gave this a run recently in Forte, but it is such a cool gig that it deserves another go. Spin Cycle 2 takes place this weekend, and if you were in town for the last one you know just how cool it was. Spin Cycle is put together by the nice folk at Spinning Half, and boy oh boy have they outdone themselves this time around. Lining up you have The Jungle Giants, Muscles (DJ Set), Chief & Lurch, We The People, Residual (Geelong’s FReeZA Push Star winners), Jordan Riddle (Spinning Half’s Geelong Artist Support Program participant), I Know the Chief, Indian Red, Bad Pony (Sydney), Kung-fu in Technicolour, Pretty City ft. Von Stache, Altitude, RDZJB, Grim Fawkner, Tayla Haigh and Patrick Wilson. I am going to shine the spotlight on Tayla Haigh, a young Geelong singer-songwriter whose uniquely toned vocals and soft folk acoustics have been making waves locally. With a musical heart since a kid, Tayla would wait until 2011 before showing her music to the world via YouTube. The following year she picked up the guitar to accompany her voice, a move which has paid dividends. Inspired by artists including The Lumineers and Missy Higgins, Tayla recorded her debut EP earlier in the year. The Wool Exchange Entertainment Complex, Geelong – November 30. This is an 18+ event, so make sure you have your ID on hand.

Whether you have given it much thought or not, New Year’s Eve is going to come around quicker than a guy who is particularly fast at running. (Yep, I suck at metaphors.) Arguably the biggest event taking place in Geelong is The Pier’s New Year on the Pier. Lining up this year you have Rob Pix, Stevie Mink, Acid Jacks and Benson, plus a host of local DJs. If his bio is to be believed, Rob Pix is the guy most likely to crash your party and drink your vodka. Fortunately, he makes amends though his tunes. The producer, remixer and DJ has played hundreds of gigs where location is irrelevant; it could be an abandoned warehouse one week, or a street corner the next. Ever since he first stepped behind the decks Pix has been a winner. His first solo track, ‘Head Drop’, spent 15 weeks in the Australian ARIA Club Chart, and it has been a lot more of the same since. If you get in before Christmas tickets will cost you $99; any later and you’re looking at $110. The price of the ticket includes 10 drinks (basic spirits, beer, wine and soft drinks) and finger food. 9 p.m. – 1 a.m. For tickets hit thepiergeelong.com.au. This is a hugely popular event and will sell out. New Year on the Pier will take care of your music, drink and food; you can take care of your resolution. Eh, you’ll only break it anyway.

The City Quarter, Geelong

Quick bite: With stunning views and tasty food, it is little wonder The City Quarter is so popular. CQ Sundays are a real treat. With an extensive summer menu that includes grazing options, as well as live music and DJ from 4 p.m., it’s a pretty perfect way to spend a lazy afternoon. Like many venues, CQ will host a little NYE soiree. Early bird tickets are $135 (until December 16) and the all-inclusive ticket includes basic spirits, beer, soft drink and canapés. You will also receive an after party priority pass to Lambys.

BallaRatCat Comedy

Quick bite: BallaRatCat Comedy still has some laughs up its sleeve before the year is out. December 5 you have Dave Thornton, Steele Saunders, Celia Pacquola and Michael Connell, while December 12 you have Lehmo, Gerard McCulloch, Tommy Dassalo and Demi Lardner. All BallaRatCat Comedy shows take place at The George, with further information available through ballaratcat.com.au. No longer do you have to drive to Melbourne to enjoy some hearty laughs.

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Your Summer Destination Awaits Oh! I do like to be beside the seaside. I do like to be beside the sea. Whether travelling alone, with friends, or with family, there are few better summer destinations than the seaside.

Barwon Heads

Barwon Heads is located approximately 100km from Melbourne and around 20km from Geelong. It lends its name from the Barwon River, which commences in the western part of Geelong and empties into Bass Straight at Barwon Heads. Something to Do Warbird Air Adventures is a ride in a powerful WW2-era fighter aircraft. Various flight lengths are available, the shortest being a 25-minute coastal flight that departs from Barwon Heads Airport and flies east to The Rip at Port Phillips Head. On land, Barwon Heads is home to three of the Top 50 public access golf courses in Australia. Titbit The ABC hit series SeaChange was filmed at Barwon Heads. Further Information: travelvictoria. com.au/barwonheads

Lorne

Lorne is at the heart of the Great Ocean Road. Originally called Louttit Bay, the town was formally surveyed in 1846. Something to Do There are plenty of great surfing spots

around Lorne – Cathedral Rock, the Point or off the main beach. Walking tours are also popular. Walks vary in length and difficulty, so finding one that suits shouldn’t be a problem. Erskine Falls and Teddy’s Lookout are also popular. Endota Spa and The Cumberland offer massages and treats for those wanting a more leisurely escape. The Pier to Pub is the largest open water swim in the world and in 2014 it enters its 34th year. You don’t have to compete to enjoy it though. Titbit Rudyard Kipling was inspired to write the poem ‘Flowers’ following a visit to Lorne. Further Information: lovelorne.com

enjoy a peaceful trip down the river and explore the bird life in Coogoorah Park. The Anglesea Art Walk is a 2.5 kilometre trek highlighting the unique flora and fauna of the area. It also features six mosaic art pieces. Titbit Three women, Anna Mackay, Agnes Murray and Alice Jackson, played an important early role in Anglesea’s development by opening up boarding houses in the area. Further Information: travelvictoria. com.au/anglesea

Anglesea

Located on the Great Ocean Road, Aireys Inlet is approximately halfway between Torquay and Lorne. Something to Do Surfing, swimming, rock pool rambling, fishing, horse riding, bush walking in the Great Otway National Park, mountain biking – all of this can be found at Aireys Inlet. Their Lighthouse Tours are also popular. Affectingly known as ‘The White Queen’, The Split Point Lighthouse was built in 1891. Titbit Many scenes of the Bollywood film Salaam Namaste were shot at Aireys Inlet. Further Information: aireysinlet.org.au

Formerly known as Swampy Creek and later Anglesea River, Anglesea is located around 30 minutes from Geelong. A town with a population of a couple of thousand, this number rockets to over 20,000 during the summer period. Something to Do Anglesea Paddle Boats hire a range of traditional and modern paddle boats, fun boats, aqua bikes and canoes for use on the Anglesea River. They also organise river trips where you can

Aireys Inlet

Ocean Grove

Situated on the southern coast of the Bellarine Peninsula, Ocean Grove is separated from its twin coastal town of Barwon Heads by the Barwon River. Something to Do Adventure Park is located approximately six kilometres north of Ocean Grove. The theme park offers both water-based and land-based rides, with plenty of food outlets and BBQ areas also available.

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A Maze ’n Games is also located only a few clicks from Ocean Grove and features Australia’s largest timber mazes, an 18-hole mini golf course, café and BBQ facilities. Titbit SeaChange used many locations around Ocean Grove. Aussie favourite Kenny also filmed in the area. Further Information: travelvictoria. com.au/oceangrove

Apollo Bay

Located at the foothills of the Otway Ranges, Apollo Bay is often referred to as ‘Paradise by the Sea’. Something to Do The 12 Apostles Flight tour departs Apollo Bay with the Otway Ranges as a backdrop. Flight time is approximately 45 minutes and is a perfect way to enjoy a stunning piece of coastland. The Apollo Bay Market is a popular way to spend a Saturday morning. Held most Saturdays, the market is located on the foreshore in the centre of town. Enjoy a coffee and a casual stroll. Titbit Apollo Bay is the original

home of The Vasco Era. Further Information: apollobay.com

Queenscliff

A small town on the Bellarine Peninsula, Queenscliff is the administrative centre for the Borough of Queenscliffe, the smallest local government in Victoria and one that also houses Point Lonsdale and Swan Bay. Something to Do The Queenscliffe Historical Museum is home to thousands of photographs, documents, paintings, newspapers and toys detailing the history of the Borough of Queenscliffe. The Marine and Freshwater Discovery Centre is another popular destination. The Blues Train is a hugely popular event that combines some of the hottest blues music in the country with the beautiful scenery of the Bellarine Peninsula. Titbit There is a long-standing myth that pirate Benito Bonito buried a huge bounty of treasure in a cave in the cliffs of Swan Bay in 1798. Further Information: travelvictoria. com.au/queenscliff

TALK OF THE TOWN! Australian Independent Music Awards

Neil Finn Reaches New Heights

Neil Finn recently announced that his new album Dizzy Heights is set for release in February; now comes the best part: a tour. The tour kicks off in March, meaning you will have at least a month to become familiar with his new tunes. Says Finn on the new album: “I didn’t want to make it a solo record in a stripped back singer-songwriter sort of way … I had a feeling Dave would be good at adding some odd shapes to the music; which I always welcome – making things a little more expansive. He is good at subverting things, and making things sound a bit messed up and not as obvious, rather than being too tasteful, which is always a temptation.” The songman teamed up with Dave Fridmann (The Flaming Lips, Tame Impala) for the newie. GPAC – March 11. With Joshua James. .........................................................................

The Pretty Littles Mash It Up

Well, it’s here; the debut album by Melbourne ruffians The Pretty Littles is out now. It’s simply called Mash, because no one likes a complicated album title. Or, as they put it, because “she was a big ol’ mix of scrappy rock and roll, a bit of scrappy punk, some scrappy ballads and some other genres that I can’t think of right now”. Last year was a tiring year for the band: they played over 100 shows including sold-out events at Ding Dong Lounge and The Tote and supported The Vasco Era, The Mess Hall, The Cribs, The Fumes and The Datsuns along the way. Welcoming their album, the band writes: “After some soul searching, some travelling, some asking friends for money to make a CD, and a bit of recording too, The Pretty Littles have a first-ever LP to release! (Note: it was mainly the asking our friends for money bit.”) The Loft, Warrnambool – December 21. .........................................................................

Yacht Club DJs Crash the Party

Quick bite: Everyone wants a little piece of Ballarat’s Yacht Club DJs these days. The UK wants them. The US wants them. And we certainly want them. They would have every reason to let ego take over, but fortunately the lads just love doing what they do so much they will do it anywhere, anytime. Their latest local run of shows is about to come to a party-crashing end at Geelong’s Eureka Hotel on November 30. Bring your lover, bring your friends, bring your mum along and enjoy the show. .........................................................................

The Fire is Alive in Chris Wilson

Quick bite: If Shaun Kirk is leading the pack of fresh blues talent, Chris Wilson is the old master. Wilson has been a part of the blues and rock scene in Australia for over twenty years. Time served with Sole Twisters, Harum Scarum and Paul Kelly and the Coloured Girls had Wilson regarded as one of the finest vocalists and harmonica

players by the end of the 1980s. His reputation today remains just as strong. His latest release is Flying Fish. Old Hepburn Hotel, Hepburn Springs – December 1. .........................................................................

The Edge, Geelong

Quick bite: Located on Geelong’s waterfront, the north facing bar of The Edge gives a spectacular view of Corio Bay. The venue is open for breakfast, lunch and dinner seven days a week, while lovers of the nightlife can enjoy live music and DJs every Friday, Saturday and Sunday night. Coming up next month you have Geordie Shore’s Scotty D on December 8. A British reality show revolving around some lads and lasses from Newcastle, Geordie Shore has become a guilty pleasure for many. Scott will be sharing photos and drinks from 9 p.m. to 10 p.m. .........................................................................

The Song Goes On for James Reyne Songman James Reyne needs no introduction. However, it wouldn’t make for much of a blurb, so here we go. We got to know Reyne through Australian Crawl, a band that gave us songs including ‘Reckless’, ‘The Boys Light Up’ and ‘Downhearted’. When the band went their separate ways, Reyne embarked on a solo career, releasing his debut self-titled album in 1987. Last year saw the release of his thirteenth album, ingeniously titled Thirteen. The well-travelled songman also recently joined the team of Foxtel music channel MAX, bringing a music brain littered with knowledge and stories to the table. On the new venture he said: “I’m really looking forward to joining the team at MAX. It feels like a very comfortable and logical extension of my interest in all things musical. They’ve all been very professional and very welcoming.” Gateway Hotel, Corio – November 30. .........................................................................

Twin Beasts Spread the Love Remember The Toot Toot Toots? Well, they’re dead now, only to be re-born as Twin Beasts. But you knew that, didn’t you; smart lot that you are. It’s been quite the year for the band. They proved their worth at the Meredith Music Festival, they showed WA how it’s done at the Rock It Festival and got cosy at the inaugural White Night Melbourne Festival. They have also been busy bees in the studio, working with Burke Reid (The Drones, Oh Mercy) on their sophomore album, Badlove. That is not due to hit shelves until February, but in the meantime you can check out the single, also called Badlove. Or, you can go one better and check ’em out at a venue near you. Like, for example, at the Bridge, Castlemaine on November 29. Of their live show Kinch Kinski of Unpaved said: “They intertwine intelligent, conceptual songwriting with big hooks, hilarity and spectacle … get along to a show and let them weave strange worlds before your eyes.”

By Daniel Lock

Thursday, 7 th of November. 3 p.m. I’m at the Hard Rock Café, Darling Harbour, Sydney, plotting ways to steal Jimi Hendrix’s belt off the wall and get out of town quick. Of course, I don’t end up going through with it; nor am I there for that reason. I’m there for registration and tickets to the Australian Independent Music Awards (AIMA). They say the AIMAs are like unsigned ARIAs, in that you cannot be involved with a major record label to enter. You can enter online with an mp3, or the live/video category with a YouTube link. Watching artists roll in is an interesting pastime. You have various genres, big personalities, different styles, glam, showmanship musicians and those that just play, and everything above below and in between. I see a few familiar faces, but no one I can name off the top of my head. As the hour ticks over and the registration booth gets more and more cramped I go and socialise with people who’ve registered – or are waiting to – and I learn that there’s been a major mistake in the ticketing sales and there’s a lot of double checking to be done and people to follow up with in order to distribute seating and tickets properly. It’s begun to be a major kerfuffle just in the preliminaries. The Star Event Centre is where the award presentations are being held and there’s a red carpet event on the balcony for which I have access to. Free alcohol for VIPs. I notice that a lot of the glam from the Hard Rock Café has become even more glam. They’ve taken it to the next level. There’s a band getting around in Steampunk attire, a goth band getting around with a member who looks like he’s from Hell’s Kitchen (not the Gordon Ramsay show!), a bunch of pastel pop (or pop pastels? the ugly colours that look better covering walls than clothing) and a bunch of people with hair so glam it blocks out the sun and renders you unconscious from inhaling the product that goes in to keeping it that way.

The balcony bars close and people are ushered inside in time for the presentations. Although VIP, a bunch of us are delegated to the nosebleed section of the audience; in fact, we have our backs to the wall literally. Looking over the nominees I notice Victoria is represented in there often just from the names I recognise: There’s Shaun Kirk in the Blues and Roots category, Werribee boys The Fry Brothers in Country (runners up), Gay Paris in Metal/Hardcore (they won the award) and Bellusira in Rock. Besides being happy to see the winning musicians get up to accept their award, the presentations are absolutely shocking. Richard Wilkins was meant to present them but he pulled out. There’s this awkwardness that the presenters can’t disguise and long silent gaps when cutting to and from the “nominees” videos. Also, the sound mixing is embarrassing; there’s hardly any audible bass and the bass guitarists from various bands cannot be heard whatsoever. Either the microphone or cord to their amp isn’t working or they’re just miming anyway. Being trained in sound engineering I really felt embarrassed for all performers at the presentations. Not being able to tolerate the awards themselves I escape to the balcony with a lot of other like-minded people. There are many types of people other than musicians here also: there’s media, promoters, event managers, band managers, fans, roadies and many people studying in the broader fields. I end up chatting with an aspiring promoter/event manager until the awards finish and everyone makes their way to the after-party. In contrast to the award presentations, the afterparty is a complete success story. It’s in a nightclub in The Star called The Marquee and entering into it I think it’s going to be a lot of DJs and remixed crap, but on further exploration I find the band room where Lachy Doley is playing a set and from then on the night gets real good: free booze till 12 a.m. for VIPs, and every band that plays in The Marquee’s band room really rocks the place well.

Staff and Management of the EMC Group Geelong strongly enforce a no-drug policy. Enjoy great music & drinks whilst staying drug-free.

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Birds of Tokyo Written by Zach Broadhurs

Birds of Tokyo are certainly having a year to remember, and the fun isn’t over yet. The release of their fourth studio album March Flies earlier this year has seen them pick up six ARIA nominations, they opened this year’s AFL Grand Final, they will be opening for Muse on their approaching Australia tour and preparations have begun on an upcoming assault on the USA. But before Birds of Tokyo depart to take on the world, Geelong gets a chance to catch the boys live and wish them well as they take a night off from their Muse support duties to play The Wool Exchange. “I always like playing in Geelong,” says Birds of Tokyo bassist Ian Berney. “I spend most of my time in Sydney or Los Angeles, so once you get outside

to a place like Geelong you feel like you can start breathing properly.” While supporting Muse in some of Australia biggest music venues will no doubt be amazing, Berney is looking forward to their Geelong sideshow and the opportunity to play some of their more obscure numbers. “The sideshows are a little more exciting I guess, because it’s just people that are fans of the band that come out to watch the show,” says Berney. “We get to play much longer than a supporting slot and we get to play some of our more outside the singles territory songs, which I probably enjoy more. “We are going to dig deeper into our setlist and look for songs we haven’t played in a while. We put a lot of effort in to our live show; we have some really cool tricks up our sleeves that I don’t really want to give away.” Opening shows will be a role Birds of Tokyo probably haven’t played in quite a while when they warm up the crowd for Muse next month, but Berney insists it is a great opportunity to learn from one of the current giants of the music industry and take their game to

When&Where: The Wool Exchange Entertainment Complex, Geelong – December 5 a whole new level. “I think it’s going to be a pretty serious production on their part, and it’s never easy going on first before the main act,” says Berney. “They are a seriously amazing live act, so we are booking extra rehearsal session just to see how far we can take ourselves; to try and take it to another level and try and match these guys as best we can. “I think opening is a good mode for us. I think you can get pretty cosy just sitting on the top of the mountain, just doing whatever you want. I think this is really going to shine light on where we can go next if we really put our minds to it. I know Kings of Leon were touring with U2 – and that is at a much bigger scale – but I know that really changed the game for them because they felt like so many things that made them seem smaller were exposed, and I think that’s a good experience to have – very humbling.” While 2013 has been an impressive year for Birds of Tokyo, 2014 already holds an important significance for the band, as it will mark their 10-year anniversary. But the boys have bigger plans in the works than just resting and reflecting on the past. “As far as I’m concerned it’s all guns blazing in the US,” says Berney. “We are hoping to do some touring over there, and we have a Lanterns EP out over there at the moment. We will do our radio onslaught over there in January next year, which is very exciting for us to see how it connects with the audience. So next year is dedicated to us trying to build something from nothing in the US, which is kind of the opposite of what we have here. “At the moment we have a house we are renting in Eagle Rock in L.A. It felt like if we were on ground and ready

159 MOORABOOL ST GEELONG

COMING UP : DCUP | TUBE & BERGER | KOLOMBO

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The 10-year milestone is a little less significant for Berney as he joined the band in 2011, but his involvement in Birds of Tokyo has certainly changed his life and allowed him to live out his dreams. “To be honest, I connected with the guys pretty quickly; we have the same humour and the same taste in things, so in that regard it was easy. But the whole step of going from a band I just passionately worked towards whilst holding a full-time job, to the potential of actually getting to live the dream I’ve been chasing for years and be a full-time musician, that made me scared shitless of fucking it up,” laughs Berney. The transition wasn’t entirely pleasant for Berney however, as he was already playing in fellow Western Australia band Sugar Army at the time and had to make the tough decision to move on. “Leaving was pretty shithouse,” explains Berney. “I didn’t really want to leave. I thought I could balance both, but in the end it was probably going to be too much of a struggle schedule wise, and the old band was in a position where they needed everyone all hands on deck to do it properly.” The tough choice has undoubtedly paid off for Berney as he gets to live the dream of making his passion his full-time job, and luckily for fans Berney foreshadows plenty of action ahead, saying, “We are always hungry and excited to put out more material and more music, more songs, more singles, more albums.”

FRIDAYS

SATURDAYS

TCK | RECLUSE

BOOGS | SILVERSIX

6/12

7/12

29/11

TUESDAY - SATURDAY 8PM - 3AM

to go we would be as easy to work with as any band that they could sign in America. It has been useful in others ways as well because we have set it up kind of like a recording studio and the joy of waking up already at work is just so fantastic. No one likes commuting to work, and if you do you’re crazy – or you hate your job.”

DYLAN BAUER | LUKE DONALD ADAM METWALLY

AIRWOLF

D.M.T | JAMES MORIARTY NICK FARAGO | JUMP STREET

30/11

NED LUCAS | DUNKS DYLAN BAUER

STEVE WARD HANDSDOWN

BABY GOGGLES | DUCKFAT

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Nicholas Basquiat by Brendan Dando Growing up listening to and loving hip hop, local electronic producer Nicholas Basquiat is beginning to turn this passion into a career. However, whilst his tracks ‘I Love’ and ‘Close My Eyes’ have been getting some rotation on triple j as of late, he has been busy working in Birchip during the harvest, where he mans one of the DOGS (Drive-Over Grid). “It’s pretty monotonous. I mean, I just sign a sheet, start it up and tell the drivers when to stop. In between doing that I just stand around itching, drinking warm water and wondering what the time is,” he explains. “Actually, sometimes I have to sweep. I feel as though I’ve really got my sweeping technique in to form this week.” As one would assume though, being a grain handler isn’t particularly Basquiat’s dream career. “If it wasn’t music then I wouldn’t mind acting, or even just talking smack as a TV presenter or radio host. I’m pretty good at talking shit and telling really witty jokes.” The passion for music began for Basquiat upon discovering the popular computer program, FL Studio. “At that point it was called Fruity Loops. I remember downloading the demo version when I was about 18 and leaving the old home computer on overnight so I didn’t have to close the program, since the demo version didn’t allow you to save!” he says with a laugh. “As my love and interest in music grew, so did my will to make it. I’ve sort of only ever really made music as a hobby though, but lately I’ve put more effort into it seeing as I’ve had the time to do so.” – The reason for the extra time being due to recently losing his job as a surveyor after five years. “It’s been kind of bittersweet because I was absolutely sick to death of my job, so losing it has allowed me to focus more on my music,” he says. “I also bought a sweet dog to keep me company; he’s a little legend. I named him Yeezy after Kanye West – I love Kanye.” With so much spare time on his hands, Basquiat admits he can sometimes get carried away. “I’ll waste so much time working through ideas for a track, sometimes I’ll just delete a few hours of stuffing around because it sounds shit. No one likes shit music.” Basquiat produces all of his music from his laptop, which he believes comes with both positives and negatives. “The biggest pro is the ease of being able to open up my laptop and make music wherever I am. It’s pretty crazy that I can chop a sample, program some drums up and then add in genuine instruments all from within one program.” This, however, can prove to make live performances quite a task. “The only real con I can think of is the fact

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Lead Guitarist with Vocal Ability wanted for a 70’s/80’s Cover Band. Age: 30 -35++. must be reliable. Gigs waiting. Contact Phil: 0410465634 or 0352758691

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Guitarist & Keyboard Player Wanted for pop/rock originals band. Looking for experienced musicians who can also sing harmonies, are easygoing and reliable. Contact Phil 0421 901 530 www.zeffamusic.com

Vocalist Wanted. Experienced 25 y.o. guitarist looking for female vocalist to form acoustic duo to start playing cover gigs asap. Would also be interested in writing together music if partnership works well. Phone Curt 0412 166 393

30ish year old trumpet player, looking to form or play in jazz group. Ballarat area. Contact Mel 0435360076

that I wouldn’t mind being able to perform my music live, but the only way I can do that is by standing there with my computer and a launchpad or something similar. If you ask me that sounds kind of bleak.” Being fresh to the music scene can be a tough ask for any artist, particularly those who can’t bear the burden of criticism, something Basquiat feels he has no issues with. “My housemate is a jerk sometimes and rips into me about anything I do, so he’s prepared me well for criticisms in most aspects of life,” he reveals, also admitting he can at times hold a biased opinion of his own work. “I’m always open to hearing what people think needs to improve with my music, because I end up listening to something so much while I’m working on it that I sort of ignore the shit bits. It’s kind of weird, but I’ll like a piece of music more just because it’s my creation, so it’s handy to have a few sets of ears listen to it.” So keep your eyes and ears peeled for Nicholas Basquiat as he continues to bring us all his blend of electronic goodness, and with summer soon approaching, he has a few goals in mind: “Well, besides making money during this bloody harvest, hopefully I can make a few more fully sick beats! Oh, and I wouldn’t mind getting a tan, so I guess you can add that to the list too,” he jokes. ‘LIKE’ – facebook.com/nicholasbasquiat

19yo Male singer looking for funk/ rock musicians: Want similar aged guys who like Led Zeppelin, Hendrix, Beatles, and ANYTHING funky bass! i love ANY music prior to 1950s all the way back to classical and beyond! I also play trumpet, Contact Sam 0407 347 444

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Looking for a drummer, not afraid to experiment. Male/ female. Age 35++ ono. All original. English/Australian influences without the radio play. Original to the extent of punk/pop Lead Guitarist, Bass sensibility 1978 to the Player and Vocalist not-so-now style. Think are looking for an of yourself as a patron experienced drummer of The Saints, Stiff Little to complete a Geelong Fingers, Radio Birdman, based Blues/Rock outfit. Buzzcocks, The Smiths, Influences include : Jimi Psychedelic Furs, Iggy & Hendrix, Cream, The The Stooges, Wedding Doors, Pink Floyd, John Present, Happy Mondays Lee Hooker, Van Morrison, etc etc, then forget you Black Keys, Ash Grunwald, have to be. The usual... Stevie Ray Vaughan car, equipment, attitude, etc... Also have originals mental state (in an OK kind to develop together as of...) punctual, earplugs well. If interested contact accepted. Be prepared to - Craig: 0404 054 045 apply yourself. Let us know or email transform_pt@ on 0409 567 043. Please yahoo.com.au leave your details and we will hear you - Confirmation Screaming Vocalist wanted for metalcore code: AKA 1963

LEONARD COHEN – 2013

written by Dino Scatena

WHEN&WHERE: December 7 at the Hill Winery, Geelong The legendary Leonard Cohen has returned to Australia this month for his third concert tour in five years. After two critically-acclaimed sell-out tours, this is set to be Cohen’s most extensive run of performances ever in this part of the world, with the great artist and his stunning nine-piece band spending almost two months travelling across Australia and New Zealand, taking in regional shows in places as far-flung as Cairns, Townsville, Wollongong, Geelong, the Hunter Valley, along with all major cities. And this will be, in all likelihood, the last time we’ll get the chance to see the man many consider to be the greatest songwriter of them all performing on our shores. Cohen recently celebrated his 79th – yes, 79th! – birthday. What makes this all the more remarkable is that the new tour comes on the back of Cohen’s latest studio album, the cheekily titled “Old Ideas”. Released last year, “Old Ideas” became the most successful album of Cohen’s 40-year plus recording career, topping the charts in 11 countries and reaching number two here on our ARIA chart and number three on the US Billboard chart. Songs from the “Old Ideas” album will feature heavily on this new tour’s setlists, blending seamlessly alongside Cohen’s countless timeless classics, including “Bird On A Wire”, “Suzanne” “First We Take Manhattan”, “Sisters Of Mercy”, “Dance Me To The End Of Love”, “Hey, That’s No Way To Say Goodbye” and, of course, the most famous song of them all, “Hallelujah”. Before Cohen re-emerged from his self-imposed retirement back in 2008, having not performed a concert since 1993 (Cohen actually retreated to a Buddhist monastery for the remainder of that decade and became a monk), his music began taking on a life of its own. In particular, “Hallelujah”, which has now been recorded by over 300 artists and unexpectedly become a staple of television singing contests. It was nothing new for other artists to perform Cohen’s songs – he actually wrote songs for other singers in the 1960s before, already an internationally renowned poet, he decided to start singing himself fairly late in life at the ripe old age of 32. He was “discovered” by the legendary producer John Hammond, the man behind the careers of such other luminaries as Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen and Aretha Franklin. “I thought he was enchanting,” Hammond once recalled of their first meeting. “Because that’s the only word you can use! He was not like anything I’ve ever heard before … a true original. The young man set his own rules.” Decades later during Cohen’s apparent retirement, more and more singers began stepping up to keep his music alive. There are countless tribute albums dedicated to his music, recorded in a variety of languages, while his songs have been covered by generations of celebrated artists including REM, Elton John, Jeff Buckley, Aaron Neville, Elton John, Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash, and many, many more. There have also been major concert events irregularly staged in cities across the world, all-star line-ups celebrating the music of Leonard Cohen. In January 2005, the Sydney Opera House’s Concert Hall hosted

three sold-out nights in the “Came So far From Beauty” series of concerts, with Nick Cave headlining an international cast of celebrated singers working strictly from the Cohen songbook. A similar event was staged in Leonard’s hometown of Montreal, Canada, in the middle of 2008. Cohen, who very rarely gives interviews, recently told the New York Times his reasons for coming out of retirement and, what’s more, working more intensely than ever. “I was living a kind of hermit’s life, which was not altogether disagreeable, for 10 or 15 years,” he explained. “I didn’t know whether or not I’d ever go back on the road. And a certain distance had developed between me and my work, although I never stopped working, I never stopped writing. But I think the writing took a certain more theological, more philosophical bent. It became somewhat more distant from the beating pulse. “And for some financial reasons I was forced to go back on the road to repair the fortunes of my family and myself. And this was a most fortunate happenstance because I was able to connect, for one thing, with living musicians. I was working at home with just keyboards and my own guitar. Suddenly I was dealing with living musicians and then with living audiences and, yes, it did have a great effect. And I think it warmed some part of my heart that had taken on a chill.” As a result, Cohen has performed hundreds and hundreds of shows in every corner of the world since his return, receiving universal over-the-top praise. “It is redundant to use superlatives in a review of Leonard Cohen,” offered one local critic during Cohen’s last Australian tour. “Yet it is also unavoidable. Simply put, Cohen is the greatest singer-songwriter of the last century.” For all the wonderful renditions of all his different songs by such a wide variety of extraordinary talent over so many years, there’s nothing can quite compare to the experience of hearing the great man himself performing his songs in concert. If you’ve never personally witnessed a Leonard Cohen concert, everyone that has will tell you more or less the same thing – it’s one of the most extraordinary musical events you will ever experience. A common comparison, from fawning fans and critics alike, is that a Cohen concert is something akin to a holy happening – one of those huge evangelical born-again services with lots of religious overtones, soul-searching and, at one point, everyone throws their arms in the air to sing “Hallelujah”. It’s powerful, emotional stuff. But Cohen’s three-hour plus shows are more about the fantasies and failings of man than the power of God. His concerts are both an emotional and intellectual celebration of life’s highs and lows, evoking tears, cheers, laughs, singalongs, exoticism, exorcism and divine exultation. It is quite unlike anything else. We are so blessed that Leonard Cohen is returning to our shores. If you’ve yet to experience the magic of Leonard Cohen and his band in concert, this might well be your final chance. If you know what to expect, you’ve probably already bought your tickets. Hallelujah!

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The Chantoozies written by Tex Miller

The Chantoozies are back. The nineties pop group that shot to the top of the charts with singles such as ‘Wanna Be Up’ and ‘Kiss and Tell’ are touring once again and are set to appear at the Gateway Hotel on December 7th as well as the Sunday program at Motor City Music Festival next March. I recently got the chance to sit down and have a chat with Ally Fowler from the group ahead of their Geelong shows. The reformation of the group and the idea to head out on the road once again was devised upon Ally moving from Sydney down to Melbourne three years ago. Although The Chantoozies hadn’t really played a gig in some years, ‘getting the band back together’ felt like they hadn’t taken a break at all, as Ally relates. “I moved back to Melbourne and Eve [von Bibra] and Tottie [Goldsmith] asked whether I was interested in doing some gigs, now that I was down here. We became The Chantoozies again and we did some little one-off gigs here and there. We went to see our booking agent at Premier Artists and it all started to take off once again.” The game plan now that the band is back together and on the road is to record some new tracks for a compilation album that was going to be released before Christmas, yet it seems that it will be released early 2014. The band has been enjoying their time out on the road, even though touring is a little different in 2013. “In April we set up a Facebook page, and that’s working really well for the band. People go on and ‘like’ us and see where we are playing. Gone are the days of playing

on Hey Hey It’s Saturday, where you perform and they flash up your upcoming gigs on the television. The Sydney music scene has changed a lot, and there are fewer inner city venues. “Record stores are also very limited these days, but we still have fun getting out and singing the old tunes again,” Ally said. Forming in the late eighties, the acclaim that would follow the Chantoozies in the years to come was, to an extent, up to luck. The first gigs that the band played was a residency in Tottie Goldsmith’s dad’s nightclub called ‘The Underground’ which allowed for managers and venue bookers to see the band – and things began to snowball from there. “After our first few gigs at the Underground, Brad Robinson from Australian Crawl started managing us, and after a bit of momentum we started to get more gigs around the scene. We met the English producer David Courtney, who had worked with Leo Sayer, and it all really started to snowball from there with all of the opportunities that came our way. It all happened quite quickly, and some people compared us to the Monkees, saying we were manufactured, but we made things happen for ourselves.” The Chantoozies are headed back to Geelong to play, and as expected Ally and the gang are excited to come to town. “Playing at the Gateway is going to be a great gig and hopefully everyone comes out to see us and hear the new songs. We can’t wait to return to play at Motor City next year also; that’s set to be a cracker as well!”

When&Where: Gateway Hotel, Corio – December 7 & Motor City Music Festival, Geelong – March 7 through 10

Shaun Kirk written By Natalie Rogers

Shaun Kirk is a firm favourite around the Forte office, and he needs your help. Steer the Wheel is a modern day blues classic in the making and you can be a part of it. “This album will be made no matter what, but as an indie artist it’s a massive weight off my shoulders if people jump on board,” Shaun began. “It’s my most important endeavour to date, and by making a pledge people can essentially pre-purchase Steer the Wheel and be privy to exclusive behind the scenes action in the lead up to the album’s release. “I also plan to donate a percentage of the album sales to a charity that does incredible work called OrphFund [which helps underprivileged kids in developing countries]. Steer the Wheel will be released in March if all goes to plan. The EP is out now and will be available at all my upcoming gigs.” Aptly titled the Giving EP, it features two tracks from STW and one bonus live track. Shaun is known for his electrifying live performances and earned his reputation as a one-man band playing an array of instruments simultaneously. STW is even more significant to Shaun as he’s called in the help of some award-winning friends. “It’s so new for me; as a solo artist I’ve never had to keep in time with anyone. Working with me on this album is Danny McKenna [drums] and Grant Cummerford [bass]. They’re the rhythm section for Jeff Lang and have worked with Mia Dyson. It’s exciting to have two industry heavyweights come in and play on my songs.

“These days I’m moving forward. I used to only listen to all the Delta blues stuff – Muddy Waters and Robert Johnson. Now I’ve started listening to the musicians that have come after that. My biggest influence at the moment is Tony Joe White, and I listen to heaps of Springsteen now. I’m getting in to more rock. I’ve got Howlin’ Wolf going on my record player at the moment; he was one of the original influences and still is. “What gets me going is a band that really feels what they’re doing and is real. You can tell a band or artist that is genuine; [that] they’re not just there to make money. I play music because it’s my life. Not being able to make music would be like losing a limb, you know? And it’s changed my life. I was heading down the wrong path, getting into all kinds of trouble at school and hanging with the wrong people. As soon as music came into my life I realised there was so much more to experience. “I blatantly state at all my shows that 9 to 5 was never for me. I understand it’s never going to be easy in this industry; it’s always going to be a struggle and you have to work hard. I’m confident that if I keep working away like I am I can make things happen.” By supporting Shaun Kirk you’ll be supporting the future of blues in this country, and that’s a very special thing. Find out more at shaunkirk.com. When&Where: Babushka, Ballarat – November 30

The Nerve

and we needed serious players.

Featuring the talents of Ezekiel Ox, Glenn Proudfoot, Lucius Borich and Davarj Thomas, The Nerve is a powerful musical beast if ever there was one. Having just released their debut album, now was as good a time as any to have a little chinwag with the band.

No, we all live in different parts of the world – even the Melbourne crew are spread way out. As discussed, we made the album before we’d met, so it didn’t really stop us. It makes it had to communicate sometimes; without the face to face contact, it can become a bit of Chinese whispers. But apart from that it’s good because it’s never been done before, which makes it exciting.

Hello, and first off, thanks for talking with Forte. Can you give us a brief introduction to the band for those not familiar and tell us what you have been up to lately? We’re glad to be with Forte! The Nerve is an international band (members in Prague, Melbourne and Sydney) and we have just released our debut album Audiodacity, which is half an hour of no bullshit, rawkus rock and roll the way it fucking should be. Can you tell us a bit about the album? Sure. The album was recorded, mixed and mastered on Skype with none of the members even meeting in the same room until tracking had been completed. It’s a war cry from an (almost) lost form of rock and roll – You remember? When bands didn’t give a fuck about swinging it proudly? Spat at record labels and money men, and generally caused a ruckus? That’s this album. The Nerve is a mish-mash of artists, a paper mache of talent. Can you tell us how yourself, Glenn, Lucius and Davarj came together to form the band? Glenn was emphatic about working with me, which was exciting because of his talent. I thought Lucius would be good, and then Reggie Bowman got Davarj in. It was really a matter of finding some people who could play at the level required. This is serious shit musically,

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The website claims your hometowns to be various different locations around the world. How does that work when making an album and touring, or are you all based close together now?

When it’s time to record an album, what is your process? Is it a long one, or do you get together in a week or two and put it down? This album took two years, and hundreds of hours. It’s fun, but sometimes gruelling work – but worth it when you get to the finish line. This is the 18th release I’ve made in 15 years, so you get used to the process. You guys are about to embark on a national tour where you’re visiting all corners of Australia. Are you guys excited about the tour? Of course! We got into this to do it live, no ifs, buts or maybes. The Nerve is a must-see live band. We’re going to destroy these venues – and good luck to the bouncers or cops if they get in our way. One love, one people, fuck the system. That’s the spirit we take to these gigs. What can people expect from a live show with ‘The Nerve’? A Dionysian rite for the ages. Anything you would like to add? Get Audiodacity now and turn it up until the neighbours call the cops; FREE THE REFUGEES; MARRIAGE EQUALITY NOW; FUCK TONY ABBOTT. Let’s make sure it’s only one term of this disgraceful government.

When&Where: The Karova, Ballarat – November 28; Ding Dong, Melbourne – November 29; The Barwon Club, Geelong – December 13

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Chocolate Starfish written by Tex Miller

Chocolate Starfish kicked off 2013 with a bang as part of the line-up for the Red Hot Summer tour, which saw the band play alongside Jimmy Barnes, Baby Animals, Ian Moss and Dragon. Since then the band has played selective gigs around Australia, as well as write some new material for an upcoming release in 2014. As one of the main acts announced on the Friday bill for Motor City Music Festival, I recently caught up with Adam Thompson, vocalist for the band, to have a chat ahead of their performance next year. “The Red Hot shows exceeded all our expectations because when we were a band in the nineties it was a quick rise to stardom and so we didn’t really play the festival circuit of Australia. We didn’t really play many support slots either and were playing midsize rooms. To do a festival tour with some other seasoned veterans and get back out in front of people and see if we had that same energy, which we did. We rocked a lot, and it felt great!” Adam said about the shows earlier this year. Throughout their absence in the music scene the band has done a bit of growing. Following the tragic passing of their guitarist Zoran Romic, Tim Henwood from Adelaide band The Androids, best known for their 2002 hit ‘Do it With Madonna’, has stepped up to the plate to take over the reins. “Tim has got lots of projects on the go at the moment, but he really wants to be a part of Chocolate Starfish too and he fits into the mould really well. He’s a great writing partner for me because he really gets me and what I’m trying

to do with each track. Not many people do, so that’s always a good thing. “No one will ever replace Zoran, but Tim has the right credentials and feel for the longevity of this band.” Looking back to the release of Chocolate Starfish and Box, the commercial success and acclaim that would follow was always something that was in the band’s mind. This mindset came about through the hard work and determination of the band. “If you are all united in the ambition and drive to do something, you are always going to achieve something great. In a perfect world we would have loved to have been an internationally famous band and tour, but we achieved a lot within Australia in our time together.” As one of the main acts on the bill for Motor City Music Festival, Adam can’t wait to get back to town to play. Having grown up in the area and learnt to sing in the region, this show in many ways is a homecoming. “We’re really excited to come to Geelong and play once again. It’s always been a great gig, and to be on the bill with a whole stack of other great bands is just fantastic. “The younger fans of our music often think that we wrote ‘You’re So Vain’, but it’s a Carly Simon classic and we love playing that in the live set. See you down there for a rocking time!” When&Where: Geelong’s Motor City Music Festival – March 7 through March 9

Kid Mac written by Tex Miller

2013 has been the year for Sydney MC Kid Mac: from the release of his second full-length LP Head Noise, to winning Artist of the Year at the Oz Music Awards in 2012; making his own reality TV show, to hanging out with Snoop Dogg (Lion, or whatever alias he goes under now). When we sit down to chat about the past twelve months, Mac is relaxing and rejuvenating the batteries ahead of his Australian run of shows over December. “Yeah mate! I am really tired a whole heap of gigs around though, this is everything that towards so to be achieving all hard work is really good man.”

at the moment after the place. That said I have been working of this after years of

Having just returned from a tour through Canada and the US with Mickey Avalon, Mac now has tour stories longer than his arm. It’s been a pretty hectic first half of the year, with shows in China and Singapore as well as a Halloween gig at the Playboy Mansion. “The Canada tour was five shows in five days, and I have never been to Canada, so for the crowd to give me that sort of reception was truly incredible and very inspiring. “It’s been a whirlwind tour all around the world, and at times I really think that I have to pinch myself to just check that it’s real. I’ve been doing this for eight years now and this is where the hard work begins; to make sure that the hype stays around.” Although Mac hasn’t received much radio airplay

over the years, upon talking about the use of the internet and social media as an avenue to get your music out there, the importance in today’s musical landscape is heavily stressed. “Getting the word out about your new track or album through social media and high profile friends is really important for a healthy musical career. Obviously it takes a little longer to get the recognition and respect, but when you go out to a show and people turn up and are singing your lyrics you know you’re doing the right thing.” Talking about the writing and recording of the latest album, Mac feels that it isn’t a departure from how he approached his debut, No Man’s Land. The importance of a funky groove and some meaningful lyrics are all part of creating a good song. “I demoed the tracks at home and then went into a studio with a couple of producers to whip the song in to its finished form. This time around there was less real instrumentation and a lot more electronic beats being created. Don’t worry though, it’s sure to kickstart the party.” The Crew, which is Mac’s reality TV show, is set to go to air on channel GO on free-to-air television starting December 3rd. Telling about the tales on the road of Mac and his pro surfer and martial artist friends, this show gives us an insight in to what being a MC at the top of the Australian hip hop game is like. Kid Mac is coming to town, and if this interview is anything to go by his live show is sure to be hectic.

When&Where: Torquay Hotel, Torquay – November 29

Tube & Berger Boredom can be a massive motivator; just ask Tube & Berger, a pair from a small industrial town in Germany driven to music by madness. Their name became a little more familiar in 2004 when their song ‘Straight Ahead’, featuring Chrissie Hynde, smashed it on the Billboard Dance Chart. Here we get to know them a little better.

studio assistant jobs when one of our tunes was signed by Ministry of Sound in Germany. The track had German vocals, but someone at Sony Music in England heard it and thought Tube & Berger could be the next hot shit. The English version was done quickly and it became a big dance hit all over the world.

Hello guys, thank you for taking the time to talk to Forte Magazine! I believe you guys are currently in transit. Where in the world are you at the moment and where are you heading?

Tell us a bit about your first studio album, Introlution. How did you go balancing studio time with the rigours of international touring?

Hi! We just got back from Brazil and will make us on the way to Linz in Austria pretty soon. You guys are all set to come to Australia in the next month or so. Are you excited to be heading Down Under? Absolutely! It’s the first time ever for both of us, and Decembers can be pretty cold and ugly in Germany so we are happy and can’t wait to take the horrible 20-hour flight to Australia. Take us back to the start for a second. You guys come from a small town in Germany. How did music come about? We had a small but enthusiastic punk scene in our town, and our big goal was forming a band. We couldn’t play our instruments but we loved it. In the late ’90s we were hit by a huge techno wave and started going to raves and tried to make electronic music with a PC computer. Your breakthrough came in 2004 with the song ‘Straight Ahead’. Tell us about that time in your career. We were both completely broke and had pizza guy and

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We simply booked some weekends for studio sessions and we started finishing the album. Very laid-back and easy going in the beginning, but after some time we got infected by a fever. We ignored our emails and switched off our phones and basically camped in the studio. It took you nearly a decade to release that album – you say you were still “finding” your sound. If you were to try to describe your sound, what would it be? We made up two new genres … What do you think about Hippie Techno or Esoteric House? Pretty bad, hmm? – But describes our sound perfectly. You now get to lead the life most can only dream of, travelling the world doing what you love. Where are some of your favourite places to play? We had so many great nights in the past two years, and it wouldn’t be fair to name just a few here. We are very thankful for having the opportunity to do what we love most, and we think our mission is to give something back ... to the floor. We’re in this together, and Tube & Berger is just a small part of it. You are coming to Geelong to rock out at the

When&Where: Brown Alley, Melbourne – December 20 & The Basement Bar, Geelong – December 21 Basement Bar, currently one of Geelong’s premier night spots. What can people expect? We play some kind of hybrid half live, half DJ set which means Tube is using CDJs and Berger raps Ableton Live with a super minimalistic controller. We’re constantly working on new edits or bootlegs when we’re on the road so it never gets boring ... Tons of beats waiting to be played. #bass The Basement is going to provide a very intimate setting with you and the fans. Do you like the tightknit shows? Sometimes these cosy gigs turn real wild and there is

some special magic going on you just can’t find on a big festival stage – Can’t wait for a filthy night full of funny and peaceful moments. What do you have to say to the people of Geelong as you start the journey to Australia? Hello Geelong! If you don’t come to our show at Basement Bar you will never know what it feels like to be a part of a crazy, sexy and scandalous Tube & Berger show. Anything you would like to add? Thanks for the interview … and don’t trust your television!

The Brink – The Jezabels

The Jezabels are back with a new album, The Brink, to be released next year. ‘The End’ is the first single off this album. Available January 31st on MGM. B

Live at The Recital Hall – Urthboy Recorded earlier this year, while Urthboy was touring the country with Paul Kelly, this is Urthboy’s first live album. Don’t expect much from the crowd though, if the Geelong crowd was any indication – hip hop mostly just makes the older folk-country-rock crowd uncomfortable. Available tomorrow on Elefant Traks.

Classic Album Selection – Disney Pixar

The Complete Album Collection – Taylor Swift

Toy Story. Finding Nemo. Wall-E. Monsters Inc. Cars. If you don’t love at least one of these movies, then I’m pretty sure you don’t have a soul. Sorry about that. This fivedisc set showcases the soundtracks of these classic films. Available now on Walt Disney Records.

An artist at the height of her career releasing a box-set just in time for Christmas, even though she’ll probably release a new album next year… Unfortunately, this one is missing the Beautiful Eyes EP, her Christmas album and her CMT Crossroads album with Def Leppard. It does, however, contain a live album. So there’s that. Available now on Universal.

The Truth About Love Tour: Live From Melbourne – Pink If you’re one of the maybe ten Pink fans who missed out on this tour (since she did, like, a hundred shows at Rod Laver Arena this year – I’m beginning to doubt if it’s even that many), then this DVD is for you. Or you could just see her when she does five tours next year. It’s your choice. Available now on Sony Digital.

Tommy – The Who The original rock opera is back in a special reissued edition. Available on CD, digitally or on vinyl, this classic album is a musthave for any rock and roll fan. Available now on Polydor/MCA. C

TOO HEAVY TO HUG PAUL S TAYLOR chris cruz

By the time you read this, Hits & Pits will be over for another year. Full report next issue. Snuff and Black Flag are my hot tips for the show, so check back here to see if I was as right as I think I am! The Ataris had to unfortunately pull out, so they’re completely out of the running. Boo-urns. The Lawrence Arms are about to release their first full lengther in EIGHT YEARS. Metropole is their first record for Epitaph and features the lead single ‘You Are Here’. It’s been a massive year of ups and downs for Sydney Ramonescore heroes Batfoot! They lost drummer Joel Sedgewick and guitarist Lukas Woods, opened shows for MxPx, Frenzal Rhomb, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes and Nancy Vandal and now singer/guitarist Craig Foot is going to become a dad to baby number two. Congrats Craig and Yuko!!! She was the punkest chick in pop for a hot minute there, but Lady Gaga has dropped the ball with her new record, ARTPOP. Despite rave reviews I’ve read in this and other publications, it really isn’t much chop at ALL. The songwriting is sorely lacking (did she work with a ghost-writer on previous albums that decided to not take part in this one?) and parts of it are sooo amateurish that I couldn’t help but cringe. The record won’t grow on me with repeated listens, because I don’t think

I can stomach a second go round. Too bad, so sad. Melbourne punks Strawberry Fist Cake have heaps of shows on the cards for the next few months, including a huge show in Bendigo with The Revengers (ex Worthingtons) on Friday, February 14 at the Newmarket Hotel. Check out their Facebook for more info! Geelong alt-rock powerhouse Odd have a new drummer and are back in the swing of things after a brief hiatus this year. Woot! Welcome back, fellas! Don’t forget (and how could you – I remind you each and every issue!) the Nevermind the Warp’d Tour mini festival happening at the Brunswick Hotel on December 7. Multiple stages hosting 30 of the nation’s hottest punk and ska bands, skate ramps, BBQs and more! Free entry to boot! Melbourne creeprock kids Dixon Cider are threatening to release a doublealbum’s worth of material soon, culled from a few different recording sessions – sweet as! Super fun Christian ska punks Five Iron Frenzy have just dropped their brand new album, Zen and the Art of Xenophobia. It was recorded with funds from a crazy successful Kickstarter campaign. Catch you crazy kids next issue, next week, coz Forte is kickin’ it weekly this summer!

The day you read this will be exactly one month until Boxing Day. Which is exactly one day less than exactly one month until the dreaded Xmas.

Mick Wall. As you can see I didn’t get all of the details of either book but hey, that’s what Google is for and mobile phone cameras not for.

Looking for the bestest Xmas present ever? How about the Cradle of Filth comic book! F*ck yes! You didn’t hear? Well, those zany Brits took to Kickstarter and raised a bunch of cash to launch their very own comic book. I don’t know if it comes out before Xmas, and I doubt it would, so it would make the perfect belated Xmas present … or even the perfect morbid Easter present.

For the ultimate metal/ nerd hybrid in your family or circle of friends you could do worse than getting them one of those weird heavy metal musician statue things. Lemmy is always a popular choice, and I’m pretty sure The Metallica Corporation has action figures out, or statues or some shit.

Last year Slayer released their Slayer Xmas knit. You know, like how Americans wear warm “sweaters” during Xmas and drink eggnog in front of the fire while watching Chevy Chase in an Xmas-themed film doing pretty much exactly the same thing as those watching him in some sort of weird existential spiral (or perfect example of sheepism) Yeah, that; let’s hope Slayer do that again. Then there’s Mastodon’s Live at Brixton Academy DVD, the perfect gift for your digital friends – because the DVD isn’t actually a DVD and will only be released digitally through iTunes or Google Play or wherever it’s sold from. You could also burn it on to a DVD and actually hand it to a friend or family member. Then there are books! We all know metalheads love to read books because metalheads are the smart music fans. I was in the book shop the other day and I saw two new books. One of them is entitled Birth, School, Metallica, Death (which is obviously about The Metallica Corporation) and the other is a book about Black Sabbath by

Over the next three weeks (the three weekly Forte issues, that is) we here at THTH will be counting down the annual and most anticipated countdown in all of Australia in the whole year: The THTH Top 5 of 2013! F*ck, shit gets exciting this time of year, don’t it!?! In other news… The Vans Warped Tour will be held at a Birrarung Marr, Melbourne on Saturday, December 7. Notable acts on board include The Offspring, Hatebreed and Parkway Drive. Steel Panther and Buckcherry will play the Myer Music Bowl on Sunday, December 8. Mayhem and Watain will play The Hi-Fi on Friday, January 10. Soundwave 2014 will be held at Flemington Racecourse on Friday, February 28. Start planning your trip to Europe to catch Avenged Sevenfold and Rob Zombie headline Download 2014, to be held on June 13. If you have any news about local metal bands, shows or albums, let THTH know by emailing to tooheavytohug@ hotmail.com or get in touch via Twitter at @ TooHeavyToHug

Blank Thankless Air By BLAIR HALL

The Blank Thankless Air track-by-track review of ‘Artpop’ by Lady Gaga. “If Geetroit and also Gpac, then whom is G Dilla?” – Charles Baudelaire, Untitled AURA I’m yet to hear a track that deals with the westernisation of the muslim female that doesn’t attempt to sell me the idea that they are oppressed. Not that they aren’t, but it’s as though the internal culture has been completely glossed over with the idea that one cannot find happiness in slavery. After all, isn’t that what we all do? We’re locked into a regime of 9-5 that exists entire independent of what our bodies and our minds need, all for this notion of the greater good and everyone having their place. VENUS The line “Aphrodite Lady Seashell Bikini Garden Panty” reminds us all that long before Lady Gaga was even considering a career in anything there was the last (and shall remain last) bastion of thinlyconstructed art-pop-nonsense, Masaya Nakahara. Ripped straight from a Monthly Hair Stylistics release, this title reminds those of us in the low-end of the cultural accrual that if you arbitrarily combine nouns you’re an artist. G.U.Y. When Zedd get’s here, the party will begin. SEXXX DREAMS Vowels are out, consonants are in; there’s no way to traverse this. From PVT to MSTRKFT to SBTRKT to XX, we’re being denied the most important five letters in the English language for what is, I assume, the need to more directly imply

your musical message to the masses. But can’t we keep the vowels? Can’t we have an uprising - a vowel movement that attempts to reinstate the importance of vowels in an english language transaction? I’m looking at you, OOIOO, JEWELS N’ DRUGS I can’t continue to review an album that I haven’t heard. I thought that my thoughts on high and low art, re: ham handed moments that occur in culture as a result of a merger of these areas, would allow an area of my brain dedicated to paying the shit out of things would take over, but alas I am an empty vessel. It’s becoming increasingly impossible to communicate meaning in an age where the source material has been reconfigured to itself have no inherent meaning. I can’t pay anything out when the material doesn’t realise that it’s in an irony stasis impenetrable to humour. I’m tugging at threads and, instead of a pile of wool that used to be a jumper, I’m left with a whole mess of sheep that won’t silence. I want to sample, but I can’t stand breaks. I don’t even want to take a turntable and smoosh it in that way that DJ’s do. I don’t even have a very good turntable. I couldn’t afford to buy any of the top-ten billboard charting records this month and instead had to listen exclusively to 10-20 in the charts. I studied art from a government issue book known as ‘THE ART BOOK’, which had poorly-taken black and white photos of paintings and sculptures, accompanied by casual observations written up about what they looked like and what sort of colours were present. Occasionally there’d be a remark such as “maybe he was painting because he was in pain, but then Rothko was also wealthy so he probably ended up okay, I don’t know” which hinted at a deeper world in the work, but didn’t have enough time in the budgeted schedule to expand upon any further

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u .a m co e. or hc rt ea s et ck ti ce an ch st this weekend - la

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VICTORIAN INDIGENOUS ART AWARDS 2013 The 2013 Victorian Indigenous Art Awards exhibition of finalists presents the distinctive and recent work of Victoria’s Indigenous artists, drawing from their cultural heritage, personal experiences and art practice. The Awards reflect the vibrant Indigenous arts community and continuing cultural practice in Victoria and challenge the stereotypical notions of Aboriginal art. The Victorian Indigenous Art Awards is a Victorian Government program delivered through Arts Victoria and presented by the Art Gallery of Ballarat. Where: Art Gallery of Ballarat. 40 Lydiard Street North, Ballarat. WheN: Nov 2-Dec 8.

Be transported to another place of sensory experience, with tantalising food, music and cultural glimpses from other lands. Each year this special laneway festival gains another dimension, and this year is no different, with the welcome inclusion of film. Award-winning community arts organisation Curious Works celebrates through three short films the extraordinary and culturally rich lives of those in our community. Each Meet+Eat film uses the act of sharing a meal as a way of getting people from different walks of life to sit down and have a yarn.

• 60 market stalls

Geelong Revival Motoring Festival 2013 brings Classic Sprints back to the Geelong Waterfront. Join tens of thousands of classic and veteran motoring fans for:

• Fashions on the Field

• Quarter Mile Sprints, featuring over 300 vintage, veteran, classic and exotic cars and bikes • The Classic Motorshow with over 500 beautifully prepared cars and bikes on display

• 28 different food choices • Kidzone, free entertainment, stunts, displays, entertainment and much, much more! Where: Geelong Waterfront, Ritchie Boulevard, Eastern Beach, Geelong. WheN: Nov 30-Dec 1. 10am-7pm.

PHONE: 5320 5791.

• The Motoring Expo

PHONE: Nicholas Heath. 5273 4777.

INFO: www.artgalleryofballarat.com.au

• Live Blues music

INFO: www.geelongrevival.com.au

ARTS, CRAFT & DESIGN MARKET Belmont Market

FOOD OF THE WORLD FESTIVAL

GEELONG REVIVAL MOTORING FESTIVAL 2013

The Belmont Market is undergoing change and as part of this there are new themed days being introduced - the next is the Art, Craft & Design Day. This day is aimed at upcoming local artists, designers, scrapbookers, pop-up shop operators, jewellery makers and much, much more to show and sell their creations or ideas.   Basically if you have created, made or painted something at home and want to get it seen - this market is for you!

BELLS BEACH SING @ SURF COAST YOGA STUDIO - Led By Sue Johnson (From Coco’s Lunch) Enjoy an afternoon of singing to nurture your mind, body and spirit in this beautiful yoga sanctuary. Sue Johnson is a composer, musical director, educator and musician well known for her work with the internationally renowned vocal percussion group Coco’s Lunch. This award-

winning a cappella group has produced seven CDs of original songs for adults and children, receiving standing ovations at concerts in Australia, Canada, Europe and Asia. Where: Surf Coast Yoga Studio. 100 Addiscot Road, Bells Beach. WheN: Dec 1. 2-4pm. Bookings essential. PHONE: 0423 930 941. EMAIL: songs@herwork.net INFO: www.suejohnson.com.au

Where: Barwon Valley Activity Centre, 1 Barwon Heads Road, Belmont. WheN: Dec 8. 8.30am-1pm. EMAIL: bvac@geelongcity.vic.gov.au INFO: www.geelongaustralia.com.au

Where: Wholefoods. 2 Baylie Place, Geelong. WheN: Dec 6. 6.30-9.30pm. PHONE: 5221 5421. INFO: www.diversitat.org.au

WAVES AND WATER

Where: Woodbin Theatre. 15 Coronation Street, Geelong West.

The beach is dominant in Australia’s national identity. It is a physical and cultural landscape, a place for a shared, universal experience. The photographic lens has been a tool in constructing ideas about the beach, stretching back to late 19th century postcard images of an increasingly active pleasure ground. Waves and Water – Australian Beach Photographs consists of 35 framed photographs, the work of seven important Australian photographers. Each reveals differing and changing perspectives of the Australian beach and the swimmers and surfers who populate it.

WheN: Plays begin in Feb 2014, but tickets for Almost, Maine and season subscriptions can be bought now.

Where: National Wool Museum. 26-32 Moorabool St, Geelong. WheN: Nov 25-Feb 23, 2014. Open daily.

PHONE FOR TIX: GPAC 5225 1200.

PHONE: 5472 4701

INFO: www.geelongrep.com

EMAIL: nwminfo@geelongcity.vic.gov.au

GEELONG REP’S 2014 SEASON Just announced, Rep’s 2014 season comprises five fabulous plays. Starting with Almost, Maine, the season continues with Amadeus, then Gaslight, The Club and finishing up with The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged). Take out a subscription package now, to see some of Geelong’s finest actors in this, the Rep’s 82nd year.

THE AFFORDABLE XMAS SHOW Once again Tussock Upstairs Gallery is presenting The Affordable Xmas Show. Artists featured include Terry Denton, Anne Lambert, Helen Leach, Libby Letcher, Malcolm Lowe, Anne Spudvilas, Erica Wagner and Rosalie Waller. The show will be an “off the wall” show. Works sold may be taken on purchase. Where: Tussock Upstairs Gallery. 89 Point Lonsdale Road, Point Lonsdale. WheN: Nov 18-Dec 15. PHONE: 0418 392 485. INFO: www.tussockupstairs.com.au

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arts news from around town – and beyond!

Into the

Wild Courthouse ARTS has been setting the bar high for the creation of new theatre in Geelong. In the last eighteen months, the artists in the CBD have been working with sound, design, performance, music and playwriting, and now they have just announced plans to present an exciting double bill of new writing in 2014. Artistic Director Ross Mueller is riding high with excitement. “INTO THE WILD is the next step for this place. It is a brilliant double bill by two of Victoria’s newest playwrights, and I can’t wait to see it come to life.” This is exciting stuff. When it comes to plays, Mueller knows what he’s talking about. He is currently under commission to Australia’s biggest theatre company STC and his back catalogue includes work for MTC, Griffin, Hothouse and La Mama. The two half hour plays that make up INTO THE WILD are of national significance. They have been written during the Fresh INK program that has been running at Courthouse ARTS this year. The two young writers are Zac Linford and Alexandra Macalister Bills. “Zac is an Ocean Grove local and Ali is based in Gippsland, so both plays have fantastic regional voices. They are terrific companion pieces because they are dealing with transformation in places like share houses and the ideas of saying what can’t be said in public places.” The Fresh INK program is exclusive to Courthouse ARTS in Victoria. This year four writers participated, meeting and working with Mueller once a month for a year. Across this time the young writers have had the opportunity to research, write and read each other’s work, discuss and dissect contemporary playwriting and develop two original pieces each.

Photo by Daniel Longo INTO THE WILD will premiere at Courthouse ARTS in early 2014 and then tour to Sydney to be presented in the brochure season of work at Australian Theatre for Young People. Courthouse ARTS were recently successful in obtaining triennial funding for their arts program from Arts Victoria, and this production and tour is the major performance project for 2014. It will be the second time that Courthouse ARTS have taken a work to Sydney. The first was FONY2013, earlier this year. The cast stayed in

the Rocks on Sydney Harbour and presented the new Australian play about cyber bullying to excited houses. INTO THE WILD will be following in the successful footsteps of FONY2013. “ATYP have been fantastic partners for us,” says Mueller. “They have a long tradition of encouraging excellence in young people and they have been terrific hosts for our theatre makers. I know our whole organisation believes in providing excellent opportunities for young Geelong artists to work in a professional environment. INTO THE WILD will be

supported by every resource we can bring to this experience.” Mueller assures us that these two new plays are funny and dark and absolutely entertaining. “We will be auditioning early next year for the tour. But we’re holding a public reading on Sunday, Dec 15th at Courthouse ARTS. If you want a sneak preview of the works in development, come along and have a listen to these exciting young voices.” Contact youtharts@courthouse.org.au for further details.

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tweet of the week

I N SI D E

S P L I N T E R S

pre s ent s

ONE DIRECTION:

M I D N I G H T MEMORIES tra c k - b y - tra c k One Direction were now very much off-track when it came to their sound. Sounding awfully similar to the bland, MOR guitarplinkety songs from the likes of Mumford & Sons and Ed Sheeran, ‘Story of my Life’ is the first moment on Memories that would be a lot better remixed by Avicii. It is also the first (of many) times the band sound decades older than they are – only to their detriment.

DIANA On UK boyband One Direction’s third studio album things take a considerably vulgar turn. Not that the group has ever really been album artists, but on Midnight Memories the band and the record’s producers appear to have hit a very bland wall; one that just sits itself in the middle of the road for the majority of the 48-minute run of this long-player.

Let’s take a closer look at what may very well be the blandest pop record of 2013…

BEST SONG EVER The first single to be taken off the album remains Midnight’s greatest moment by a long shot, incorporating familiar sounds of their past with an assertive and very modern, grown-up feel production-wise and nailing it all on the head. This, if anything, is the most misleading first single release from any album of the last five years because there is nothing as instant or perfect as ‘Best Song Ever’ that follows.

STORY OF MY LIFE The emergence of ‘Story of my Life’ as the second single from this record served as the first set of warning signs that, as a band,

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Sadly, not about the princess. Sounding like Billy Joel-lite, it comes complete with a flawfree chorus – and is all the more better for it. One of the actual decent moments amongst all of the filth.

MIDNIGHT MEMORIES One Direction has an obvious affinity for songs that sound like Queen’s ‘We Will Rock You’. After the groups fourth studio album I predict they will actually be able to release a themed greatest hits record that just contains Queen ‘We Will Rock You’ sound-alike moments such as this hideous title track.

YOU AND I The beginning of the end; a truly dire and desperate ballad that clings to a false sense of credibility in the hope of manipulating the listener in to really feeling ‘the growth’. It’s mostly downhill from here folks.

DON’T FORGET WHERE YOU BELONG Normally, all McFly cowrites on previous One Direction albums have potentially been the

STRONG Oh god. What’s worse: the moments where the band reach for that illusive credibility with their Mumford & Sons shit, or the moments that are so planted in the early sounds of the band the songs in question actually sound like they are about four years old? Well ‘Strong’ is one of the Mumfordy ones and, let me tell you, this trash is worse than the limited amounts of early bubblegumrock trailing through Midnight Memories.

treatment. Other than that it is mostly awful, only adding more rubbishy slow-to-midtempo love songs to the mix. Thankfully this CD is almost over.

SOMETHING GREAT Don’t be fooled by the title because this is far from it.

LITTLE WHITE LIES A decent upheaval, certainly, but this could have easily come from their first or second album.

BETTER THAN WORDS Goodnight y’all.

WHY WE DON’T GO THERE

Another ballad. Delete.

Possibly the greatest moment (after ‘Best Song Ever’, at least) on Memories. More importantly, this not only sounds credible, it also sounds like a Keane-inspired yet 100% pure pop moment. Pay close attention boys: we prefer it when your music has a pulse.

LITTLE BLACK DRESS

DOES HE KNOW

With its classic rock leanings and a surprisingly great ’70’s glam rock influence, this is exactly the direction which the group should be heading for if they are so hung up on making music they, allegedly, themselves would listen to. Stop all of this Ed Sheeran crap at ONCE.

This sounds like Jessie’s Girl, and is therefore the worst song created in all of 2013.

HAPPILY Get Avicii on the phone; we need a remix of this Banjo Pattersonrealness and pronto!

RIGHT NOW

THROUGH THE DARK Another folk song basically gagging for Avicii’s remix

ALIVE A higher tempo affair that sounds like a Def Leppard album off-cut from the late ’80s. Never a bad thing.

HALF A HEART Oh good riddance.

FINAL VERDICT After throwing a lot of support behind these boys over the last few years it really pains me to have had to sit through their worst record to date. Midnight Memories achieves more by tarnishing the One Direction brand than it does in providing the group with the highly sought-after ‘integrity’ they so richly wished for upon its inception. The biggest problem with Midnight Memories is as simple as this: the songs where One Direction personally feel they have really “grown and matured” as a band are the worst moments here, yet songs like ‘Little White Lies’, however similar to the more approachable pop of their previous two albums, demonstrate that this so-called growth and maturity found on those other songs is nothing more than a calculated, transparent marketing ploy to try and push the boys as far away from their bubblegumpop background as possible, but also by providing their mainly teenage fans with the illusion that the band themselves are now ‘growing up’ with them. If that was really the objective behind Midnight Memories then One Direction has failed miserably.

FINAL GRADE

3.5/10

ARTPOP

Whilst the sales may not have quite matched those of Born This Way (as of yet), ARTPOP has the potential to churn-out as a slow-burning-builder. ‘Gypsy’ for single number two?

BRITNEY SPEARS

The campaign for her upcoming album Britney Jean is about as messy as you’d expect, with Britney embarking on a Twitter Q&A last week only to tell fans information they already knew. Oh, and that she really likes “skin care and yoga”. Amazing.

JUSTIN BIEBER

His new single ‘PYD’ features watersports enthusiast R. Kelly on guest vocals, and is quite the baby-making jam.

MIDNIGHT MEMORIES

The new One Direction album is plagued with problems: one of them being they seem to have completely eradicated the spark that made the group so enjoyable in the first place.

ED SHEERAN

All of the blame for One Direction’s awful album should surely be put on this horrible guitar warbler.

POP ACTS GOING “SERIOUS”

You can become a death metal act in search of credibility, and the audience you’re looking for are STILL going to avoid you at all costs. One Direction has a lot of lessons to learn about this album’s era.

SHIT!

Now that most of the members of the fivepiece have reached their 20s it seems the once sugar-plumped bubblegum-rock boyband have developed a slight adversity toward the pop-sensibilities that made them so loveable; the very things which have made their brand millions of dollars in profits over the last few years. There was a cheekiness and a young British charm that exuded from the boys and most of their singles in the first two thirds of their career, but with this

unfortunate search for credibility and ‘growth’, they have completely turned their backs on what it was that made them pop.

group’s best recorded efforts, but this, the most recent songwriting notch on McFly’s proverbial belt, barely scrapes through as a three-out-of-five affair. A nice enough stadium ballad, and probably the only ballad here worth investigating.

re v i ew

May the odds be ever in @pterosaur’s favour.

HIT

“ Not prepared for so much of The Hunger Games on my dash, mostly because if there is one series of TV I don’t care about, it’s that #alloffense”

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FILM REVIEWS

by anthony morris

Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire Last time we saw Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence), she’d just won the Hunger Games via a romance-related twist that allowed her fellow tribute Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) to also make it out alive. It seemed a good idea at the time, even if she did have a hunky almost-boyfriend and hunting buddy Gale (Liam Hemsworth) back in the grim coal-mining wasteland of Panem’s District 12. When this sequel opens it’s clear she paid a fairly heavy price for her survival: not only is she suffering at least some of the effects of post-traumatic stress disorder (well, some nasty flashbacks at least), but when Panem’s evil ruler President Snow (Donald Sutherland) turns up on the eve of her promotional tour to remind her that she only survived because she was supposedly deeply in love with Peeta, that’s the kind of pressure no relationship can hold up to. Could it possibly get any worse than having to pretend to be in love with someone she only might have feelings for but who clearly loves her? That question is answered when their first public speech ends with the police executing an old man in front of them. It turns out her victory has inspired the people to rebel – which was pretty much the opposite of what Snow wanted – and while the elites at the Capitol are still swanning around in fancy duds and throwing up more food in a night than regular folk get in a week, it’s clear that the system is starting to crack even with Katniss and Peeta publically announcing their marriage. Enter Snow’s latest evil sidekick, Plutarch Heavensbee (Philip Seymour Hoffman), who has a new idea for the upcoming Hunger Games: a championship round where all the old winners come back to do it all over again. With their support team from last time back on the scene – tactics guy and drunk Haymitch Abernathy (Woody Harrelson), media advisor Effie Trinket (Elizabeth Banks) and fashion designer Cinna (Lenny Kravitz) – the duo is soon back in training and appearing on the show hosted by Caesar Flickerman (Stanley Tucci) which seemed based largely on him flashing some extremely impressive teeth. Alliances are made and feisty supporting cast members are introduced – take your seats and let the games begin. Everything you liked in the first film is back, only better: the love triangle feels sharper, largely thanks to Hutcherson’s stronger performance and a character arc that gives him a lot more opportunities to actually be kind and thoughtful rather than merely being described as kind and thoughtful (Hemsworth is still stuck with a nothing character). The actual Hunger Game works better, being less about the actual killing (which an M-rated film was never going to really show) and more about surviving some nasty “natural” elements (blood rain, acid fog, etc.). And Lawrence holds it all together with an excellent central performance that does everything the story requires while making it clear the big drama here is how much of the violence around her can Katniss absorb before she cracks. The first Hunger Games felt like a silly idea handled better than expected; this instalment makes it clear that this is a franchise to be taken seriously.

A comedy where a public farting contest between a pre-teen boy and an eighty-year-old man ends with someone sharting – you probably don’t want to look that up – all over a restaurant wall is, let’s be honest, not all that surprising in 2013. So Bad Grandpa adds a twist: they do it live in front of an unsuspecting crowd of real-life patrons. Irving Zisman (a heavily made-up Johnny Knoxville) has just lost his wife and he’s looking to party (much to the horror of the real-life doctor’s waiting room people he informs). Meanwhile his daughter is going back to jail on drugs charges having violated her parole, which leaves eight-year-old Billy (Jackson Nicoll) on his own and telling strangers “my mom has bad breath because she smokes so much crack”. So Billy’s mother comes up with a plan: Irving can drive Billy to stay with his bong-smoking, Juggalo-hanging-out-with dad. And if she tells him this plan at the funeral right before he knocks over the coffin and the body falls out in front of the (real) (shocked) guests, so be it. It takes a little while to get used to the scenes in between the pranks where Irving and Billy continue to act out the storyline – at first it feels like they should drop the act when no one else is around – but Knoxville and Nicoll never break character. Not every segment here is hilarious, and a lot of the bits just stop rather than build to any kind of end, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that there are some really big laughs to be had in this ninety minute collection of pranks: seeing an old guy suddenly flung through a store window is one kind of funny; seeing him beg for help from passers-by because he’s got his (extremely stretchy) penis stuck in a soda machine is another. Much of what’s going on here is so over-the-top the stunned faces of the witnesses provides a lot of the laughs, and it’s a testament to how well an old joke can be revitalised by acting it out in front of innocent bystanders that the film’s big finish (as revealed in the trailer) is a joke seen in both a classic Simpsons episode and the end of Little Miss Sunshine – and it still gets the biggest laugh of this very funny film. By that stage Knoxville and Nicoll have become a real comedy team, with a solid emotional bond between them. The characters they play never really become convincing enough to make anyone really care all that much about their story; the real emotional heart of this film is watching Knoxville and Nicoll developing into a well-honed double act that’s able to pull off a perfectly executed shit joke.

- F i l m W rap The Fifth Estate:

Filth

Adoration

Detective Sergeant Bruce Robinson (James McAvoy) is an Edinburgh cop with a fairly low opinion of humanity in general, and the Scots in particular. He’s basically a drug-fuelled utter bastard driven overwhelmingly by a desire to secure an upcoming promotion. His fellow officers (played by Imogen Poots and Jamie Bell, amongst others) are brushed off as lightweights easily dealt with via back-stabbing; one officer has undersized genitalia and while another might not actually be gay, being a sharp dresser should at least get some rumours going. Robinson is then free to swagger around, certain he’ll have no problem solving the bashing murder of a Japanese student… even if his wife (Joanne Froggatt) – who delivers a number of monologues of her own about how devoted she is to him but doesn’t seem to spend any actual time with him – seems to somehow be linked to the death. His half-hearted attempts at solving that crime largely involving committing numerous others – including sexually assaulting female suspects – while in his spare time Robinson makes prank calls to the wife of nerdy fellow Masonic lodge member Blades (Eddie Marsan). And guess which cop gets assigned to the prank call case? All this seems like fun and games at first – why not take Blades to Hamburg to visit a string of dodgy sex clubs? Why not tell Blades’ wife the best way to deal with these obscene prank calls is to play along? – it’s increasingly clear that Robinson is starting to come apart. And while he might be seeing a psychologist (a scenery-devouring Jim Broadbent, putting on a broad Australian accent) he just seems to be making matters worse. Director and scriptwriter Jon S. Baird does a reasonable job of turning Irvine Welsh’s novel into a film, dialling down the novel’s racism and more bizarre touches (it’s in part narrated by a tapeworm in Robinson’s gut) while keeping its offensive essence intact. With McAvoy almost constantly on-screen and spraying bile in every direction, he’s got a lot to carry here. Fortunately he’s firmly up to the task, relishing his evil antics early on then letting his evil glee curdle once things start to go wrong. For a character that early on seems like little more than an excuse to show a lot of drug taking and sleazy behaviour, there are a few moments of genuine emotion in the film’s second half that go some way towards making this feel like a film about an actual human being. But its repetitive nature grinds it down: it doesn’t have a lot to say but it says it an awful lot, and even with McAvoy’s charm this outstays its welcome well before the end credits.

Lil (Naomi Watts) and Roz (Robin Wright) have been friends forever. Now in their forties and still living in the same coastal Australian town they grew up in, their lives have settled in to steady patterns. Lil is a single mother with a teenage son, Ian (Xavier Samuel); Roz is married to university drama teacher Harold (Ben Mendelsohn) and together they have a teenage son, Tom (James Frecheville). But their idyllic life of sun and surf is shattered – or seems set to be – when Ian falls in love with Roz and makes his (physical) affections known. Roz returns his advances, Tom catches them almost right away and half out of spite turns his attentions to Lil, who has been feeling her age and isn’t exactly repulsed by the idea of an affair with a much younger man. So yes, this is a story about two best friends who are sleeping with each other’s sons. Obstacles to their new arrangement – which all four fairly quickly come to terms with – easily fall away, and soon they’ve settled into a rut they’re all more than happy with. But how long can this arrangement last? Surprisingly long as it turns out, as this is a story that in many ways feels like an exploration of a wish-fulfilment fantasy: how great would it be to have a partner who actually brings you closer to your (same sex) best friend? Well, it doesn’t really explore how the guys feel about it, as this is told with the psychological focus (such as it is) firmly on Lil and Roz. In fact, the male characters are pretty sketchy and not exactly plausible, but considering how many equally dubious female characters have existed solely as love interests for older men over the decades in film it seems a little foolish to complain too loudly there. What is a problem is the way the story rambles on especially towards the string of endings – there are at least three clear points where this story could have ended and the longer it drags on the weaker the story’s impact grows. It’s an interesting experiment that could have done with a bit more character development, but then again, if the characters had been more clear-cut and well-defined, then the wish-fulfilment angle might have been blunted. Much like the characters’ endless lolling about on the perfect beaches, this is something to be experienced rather than dwelt on too deeply; if the set-up doesn’t work for you, there’s nothing else here worth your time.

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Julian Assange comes across as a bit of a tool in this film about the glory days of WikiLeaks, but don’t worry, so does everyone else. The result is a film that’s more annoying than informative, unless you share the director’s conviction that the internet is best explained as an endless series of desks with Assange typing away at most of them.

Fruitvale Station:

Okay, so this is a film about the last day in the life of a young black man shot by a police officer early one New Year’s Day at a San Francisco train station. So the whole point is for you to get to know someone who then dies so you can be outraged about his death, which is a nice idea but not much of a movie idea.

Insidious Chapter 2: Remember the

first Insidious? No? How about The Conjuring from earlier this year? Fingers crossed you don’t, because if you do then this horror film (from the same director, James Wan) is going to seem mighty predictable because

they’re all basically the same collection of creeping around in creepy houses.

The Counselor:

Michael Fassbender is told that getting involved with the Mexican drug cartel is a bad idea. A really bad idea. Then he gets involved with them and it turns out to be a really bad idea. Also, at least three people have their heads cut off.

Thor: The Dark World: Thor’s back, his story makes no sense, but he gets his shirt off and some of the jokes aren’t too bad – which, if you think about it, is pretty much all you can expect from a superhero/fantasy mash-up these days. Oh, and the fights are okay as well.

Captain Phillips:

Tom Hanks is the captain of a cargo ship attacked by Somali pirates (who in some ways are the real stars of the story) in this gripping and thought-provoking procedural thriller by Paul Greengrass (director of the two best Bourne movies). The Butler: Over thirty years of

service at the White House, butler Cecil Gaines (Forest Whitaker) saw eight Presidents come and go and the rise of a Civil Rights movement that would change America. Which sounds a little serious, but fortunately his hard-drinking wife is played by Oprah Winfrey and the Presidents are played by a bunch of seemingly wildly inappropriate (yet usually spot on) actors: John Cusack as Nixon and Alan Rickman as Reagan, to name two.

About Time: A dorky British Dork uses his family’s secret ability to travel back in time (just to earlier points in their own lives – no killing Hitler) to catch the woman of his dreams. It’s a Richard Curtis film, so the accent is on “quirky charm”, not “creepy timestalking”.

Gravity: George

Clooney and Sandra Bullock are in space when Things Go Wrong. The result is one of the most thrilling (and tense) movies of recent years, and one that demands to be seen on the biggest screen you can find.

MUSIC REVIEWS

Guy Davis (feat. Fabrizio Poggi)

Neil Finn & Paul Kelly

Juba Dance

EMI

M.C. Records As a bluesman playing it ‘old school’, Guy Davis is something of a Johnny-come-lately. He’s quick to acknowledge his place in the blues story, however: ‘I ain’t no bluesman/I’m the bluesman’s son’. And there ain’t nothing wrong with that. His unfussy acoustic stylings do the heritage proud. Much in the way Eric Bibb sounds both contemporary and traditional, Davis boasts wellsuited vocals and fine playing. On Juba Dance his guitars, banjo, harmonica and vocals deliver the slick and the raw in perfect balance. A huge bonus here is the added harp work of Hohner hero Fabrizio Poggi. There’s more than a casual nod to Sonny Terry expressed by both. In fact, Davis dedicates ‘Did You See My Baby’ to the legendary harp man. It’s one of five tracks delivered solo, with guitar cited as a tribute to Terry’s offsider Brownie McGhee as well as Bukka White. The opening track features Davis on high harp with Poggi on low and bass harps. As with many blues classics, there are echoes of some within others. Covers and originals alike could be mistaken for familiar standards done by all and sundry down through the decades. The fabulous off-kilter rhythm of ‘Saturday Blues’ reminds me as much of Joe Bonamassa’s take on ‘Stones in my Passway’ as it does the 1928 original. Davis’ honourable interpretations visit Muddy Waters, Blind Willie McTell, Josh White, John Lee Hooker and Rev. Robert Wilkins’ ‘That’s No Way to Get Along’. The latter is as tasty as The Stones version in its own right.

Goin’ Your Way I caught these two at A Day on the Green at Rutherglen this year as part of this tour, and let me just say it was probably the best show I’ve seen all year. Most of both men’s hits are on the track-list here, which is amazing considering the sheer bulk of them. The majority of the songs are sung in duet, with Paul occasionally taking the place of Neil’s equally famous and talented brother, Tim. It jumps from classic to classic, with the likes of ‘Four Seasons in One Day’, ‘Won’t Give In’ and ‘Distant Sun’ from Neil’s side, and ‘Dumb Things’, ‘Deeper Water’ and ‘New Found Year’ from Paul’s side. The two even performed one of each other’s songs solo: Neil choosing ‘You Can Put Your Shoes Under My Bed’ – because it’s something his mother used to say – and Paul choosing ‘Into Temptation’. They also did the reverse, with Paul performing ‘From St Kilda to Kings Cross’ alone and Neil performing ‘Better Be Home Soon’, because there are some songs just so wrought with feeling that they would sound wrong performed by anyone else. Unfortunately these songs are missing the fantastic banter between the two that peppered the live show; however, this one is a no-brainer. Buy it. Now. Cameron Brogden

Illy Cinematic One Two Illy is back with his fourth album; this time it’s on his own label, One Two. He’s coming into this one off the back of two massively successful albums in The Chase and Bring It Back, which are two of the best albums in Aussie hip hop to date – not to mention his debut, Long Story Short. He’s got a lot to live up to on this one, and unfortunately, he comes up

a little short. Don’t get me wrong, this album is as good as any hip hop album this year (except perhaps Spit Syndicate’s Sunday Gentlemen), it’s just not up to the usual standard. I’m going to focus on the positives though, because Illy’s my favourite hip hop artist. (At least I admit to my bias.) ‘On and On’ is the lead single; you’ve probably heard it on triple j or around other places, and it would have easily found a place on Bring It Back. The opener, ‘Opening Night’, is a good build up: it catches us up on where we’re at, and where Illy’s mind is. It prepares

us for the album to come. It’s everything an opener should be. ‘Youngbloods’ is a solid track; everything Illy does is fantastic. It’s the guest vocal by Ahren Stringer that throws me off. It sounds like something from the nineties, and not in a good way. ‘Coming Down’ features the godfathers themselves, the Hilltop Hoods, so I don’t need to tell you how good that is. All in all, buy it. It’s not Bring It Back, but who has three great albums in a row? Cameron Brogden

Davis adds mandolin, slide guitar, front porch percussion (hand claps, wooden spoons etc.) and field work cadence to the mix. A contribution from The Blind Boys of Alabama is icing on the cake. Chris Lambie

l i V e r eview

Australasian Worldwide Music Expo Arts Centre Melbourne November 14 – 17 In its sixth year, the Australasian Worldwide Music Expo, or AWME as it is better known, had a cracking program for 2013. Over four days at the Arts Centre in Melbourne – at the same location as Face The Music – national and international delegates met for the conference. This was the first time that I had gone to AWME, and the networking opportunities on offer were numerous. The keynote speaker for the Friday session was Peter Noble, who is best known as the head of Bluesfest. With 2014’s lineup boasting the likes of John Mayer, Dave Matthews Band and Buddy Guy to name just a few, as one of the key event promoters in Australia Pete definitely had some stories, as you could imagine. Talking about his years in the industry and how he started out booking bands for a club in America, it was an interesting retrospective look at how Pete started at the bottom of the food chain and worked his way up to his current role. AWME continues to go from strength to strength. It will be interesting to see where it develops to in the future. Tex Miller

Dale Watson and His Lonestars El Rancho Azul Red House Records The prolific Alabama-bred Texan could hardly be more authentically country if he mooed instead of crooned. Dale Watson and band reek of hard times and honky tonks, with a swing in their step and a wink to the wise. With six of 14 tracks dedicated to the art of drinkin’, it’s Watson’s shout since the late George Jones left the bar. In the tradition of the country confessional he declares, ‘I lie when I drink and I drink a lot’; later, ‘I drink to remember. You drink to forget’. The 50-year-old Grand Ole Opry regular has been doing his musical thang since he was a pup. While his material treads a traditional path, there’s a maverick edge between the tunes, and Watson’s 21st century attitude warrants cult status outside the purists. The Lonestars are solid on upright bass (Chris Crepps), pedal steel (Don Pawlak), piano and fiddle (Danny Levin) and drums (Mike Bernal), with Watson on guitar. Dancing comes in a close second to drinking, story-wise. Watson has a modest crack at yodelling on ‘Cowboy Boots’ (‘There’s something ’bout a woman dancing in her cowboy boots’), while a sentimental interlude breaks up the shenanigans with the pretty waltz, ‘Daughter’s Wedding Song’. ‘Quick Quick Slow Slow’ is a twostepper followed by ‘Slow Quick Quick’, and we’re back to a waltz. Watson’s brand of country comfort is heading our way soon.

Gossling Harvest of Gold Dew Process You think you haven’t heard of Gossling? It’s possible, I guess. But you definitely know that voice. If you haven’t heard one of her own singles over the past couple of years, you almost definitely heard her guest spot on 360’s massive hit ‘Boys Like You’. If you haven’t even heard that, I can’t

help you. Unless you’ve seen a Woolies ad in the last two years. Yep, that’s her unique voice singing the days of the week in one of the best jingles out there. I’m not even being sarcastic. I work at Woolies, so if anyone should hate it… Gossling has had some of the most unique and interesting pop releases of the past couple of years, all in EP form. Unfortunately, Harvest of Gold, while just as unique, doesn’t

seem to have the same pull. The appealing hooks and fairly catchy lyrics of ‘Wild Love’ and the chorus of ‘Boys Like You’ are gone. It seems to be a journey taken by most indie pop acts in Australia; couple of good EPs with fabulously catchy earworm songs, followed by a slightly dull album. Probably not worth picking up at the moment … maybe after Christmas when it’s $10 at JB HiFi. Buy her EPs off iTunes instead. Cameron Brogden

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Grog Watch If you have a pet, then it’s probably not news to you that not all pets can eat all kinds of human food. In fact, supposedly there are various kinds of human food that will kill your pet if you try and feed it to them. Which makes sense if you think about it: most pets seem fairly happy to eat their own vomit and that crap would pretty much kill me. What was slightly more newsworthy to me was the discovery that some human medicines can also kill your pet if they get a hold of them. That’s because I’d never actually thought that anyone would give perfectly good medicine to their pets in the first place, so how would you find such a thing out? Who’s sitting around at home going “well, I guess I’m not going to get through this giant pile of meth before it goes off – here kitty kitty kitty”? That’s never going to happen. Plus, I can sort of see

PULP. >>>>>> By Cameron Urquhart & Alastair McGibbon

Cameron: As we head closer to the Christmas season my viewing turns to the classics of Yuletide cinema: Black Christmas, Silent Night Deadly Night 2, or even that most revered of heart warmers, Tim Allen’s The Santa Clause! With such a wide selection of themed films, I could carefully select the best of the lot and really get myself in the holiday mood. But instead of doing that I watched Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Killer Mutant Snowman. I’ve watched some dumb films over the years, including the original Jack Frost, but this was probably the dumbest of them all. You see, in the original Jack Frost the human serial killer with the unlikely name is being transported by prison authorities when their truck collides with a genetic research lab’s truck. Surrounded by snow when the genetic materials cover our killer, his body transforms in to mutant water particles instead of, you know, just dying. Already this was kind of a silly idea, but the surrounding area was one of those small town America winter wonderlands who were gearing up to celebrate Christmas. Within the confines of the movie it all sort of made sense. It was played relatively straight, and because of this it was downright hilarious. Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Killer Mutant Snowman however is set on a paradise-like tropical island, where somehow the snowman can survive and kill people on the beach. They also play it for intentional laughs and again it’s hilarious, but in entirely the wrong way. So, how dumb is this film? Two men tried to stab each other to death with a carrot. That was an actual part of the film that came out of the television, entered my eyes, and will forever be something my brain is aware of. Later on we meet some college girls played by 35-year-old women who can’t hear each other being killed off despite being about five metres away from each other. Most of the death scenes are really

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people feeding their dog or cat human food, because some human foods are rubbish and quietly slipping to the pet is a good way to get rid of them without pissing off whoever cooked them. But medicine? In what situation does someone go “oh, this headache is killing me, but screw taking this aspirin, I’ll sneakily give it to the dog and just pretend I’m feeling better”? Again, never going to happen. Medicine isn’t exactly cheap either, you know, so giving it to your pet is going to get expensive fast. And how would you even know if they needed medicine in the first place? I mean, okay, I’m guessing you could tell that your pet was feeling under the weather. But they can’t tell you “I’ve got a headache”, right? Dogs aren’t out their barking then tapping their head with a paw so you know where it hurts, right? Seriously, cats go around banging their heads into everything: how do we know that having a headache isn’t their natural state of being? How do we know that curing a cat’s headache wouldn’t make them even more pissed off? None of these thoughts went through my mind when a friend of mine rang me up last week and frantically told me that they were on their way to the vets because they thought their cat may have accidentally eaten one of their mum’s paracetamol tablets. That’s because I had no idea of, or interest in, what paracetamol does to cats. Prevents them from driving? Makes them more sexually available? As it turned out, no. It seems paracetamol is actually

anticlimactic, all the actual action tends to happen off screen, and then we see the results. I’m guessing this was mainly due to a lower budget but it really kind of ruins the flow of the film. Except for the scene where a bunch of sentient snowball babies eat about ten people at once. That was, uh, different. The weirdest thing about this film is its huge drop in quality from the previous movie. While watching it I assumed it was due to a new writer and director, Michael Cooney, but he was the guy that made the first film as well. I’m not going to claim Jack Frost is an actual cinematic masterpiece, but it was competent. It seems like going into this film Cooney forgot everything he knew about lighting, coaching actors and framing shots. Often it’s a straight shot of a couple of characters in a room, and it looks like someone filmed a play instead of making a movie. I enjoyed it though. It was dumb and broken, but jesus it was funny. All the intentional humour falls flat but there is something so awkward about the whole film that just makes it great. I only rented this, but even money says I end up displaying a copy proudly on a shelf.

lethal to cats, because their bodies either can’t break it down once they’re exposed to it or start breaking down in general once they’re exposed to it – I’m not really sure. It seemed that my friend’s cat had jumped up on the bench where her mother had left her pills in a little bowl and when she turned back there was one less pill. Now, maybe my friend’s mother had taken the pill herself and forgotten about it, but my friend thought – and I agreed – that this was the kind of thing you didn’t mess around with, so off to the vet they raced. Remember how I agreed that getting the cat to the vet first was the right move way back in that previous sentence? Well, it took about as long for you to read it as it did for me to remember that pretty much every time you walk through the door of the vet the money starts draining out of your bank, and there has to come a time when, much as you love your kitty or puppy or pot plant, you’ve got to turn off the money tap and let nature take its course. Obviously everyone has a different point where the tap is turned off. For some people no amount of money is too much to spend on saving a loved pet’s life. For others such as myself, pretty much the moment the cost rises above whatever you’d get for the pet if you sold them to some petstuffing sex pest is the moment I’d pull the plug. That might sound callous, especially as at this stage of the story the cat is at the vet being pumped full of

drugs while the owner is all distraught and being told that basically her cat will be dead in 24 hours unless a miracle occurs, but hey, it’s not like the cat was going to be paying its own medical bills. Which were insane, let me tell you. When a cat costs more than a roadworthy car, you better be able to drive that cat to the shops is all I’m saying. And let’s not forget, there was a chance the cat hadn’t even eaten the death tablet, which was pretty much what I was betting had happened because cats are dumb but they’re not so dumb that they’d eat cat poison just because it was in a bowl on a bench. Okay, maybe this cat was, but if this cat was that dumb then it was probably better that it passed away quickly under medical supervision than jumped into a working blender three weeks from now. And so the clock ticked on. Did the cat survive? Of course. Had the cat actually eaten the paracetamol tablet? Of course not. Was the vet’s bill more money than I make in two months? Pretty much. Did I say any of this to my distraught friend? Hell no … Though I may have suggested that next time she thinks the cat may have swallowed something she should feed it some ratsak as well before going to the vet just to make sure she’s not wasting her time. Tony “Get that cat a paper route to pay off the bills” Montana

POrPe! cultu By An th on

y M or ri s

Even at this early stage it seems fairly safe to assume that The Hunger Games: Catching Fire is going to be a hit. It’s not like the first film was a box office dud, and with the second film in this kind of series usually being a step up from the first (with no more scene setting or character establishing to do, the story can charge ahead – and things usually get darker in pt 2s as well, thanks to the long-standing influence of The Empire Strikes Back), audiences have little reason to stay away even if there was anything much else on in cinemas at the moment. It’s also safe to say that the success of The Hunger Games will be used by Hollywood as an excuse to do more of the same when it comes to throwing huge piles of money at young adult franchises. After all, it’s only been a decade – maybe a little longer if you add in the Lord of the Rings movies – that Hollywood has been betting the farm on extended series based on teenager-friendly novels, with only a handful of successes: the Harry Potter series and the Twilight films (and yes, the Lord of the Rings books if you count them). They have been massive money-spinners, so it’s hardly surprising there have been a lot of attempts to replicate their success; what is a little surprising is how often these attempts have failed. Beautiful Creatures, The Host, Mortal Instruments: City of Bones; they all fizzled at the box office – and that’s just this year. What’s

no doubt frustrating for Hollywood is that qualitywise these films were just as good as, say, most of the Twilight films – and yet while the Twilight films raked in a fortune (and clearly didn’t cost all that much to make by Hollywood standards), these efforts basically sank without trace. Which suggests that the market for this kind of films is actually pretty small, especially compared to something like superhero films where we’ve had two or three making big bucks each year for the last few years now. The people who want to go see a young adult novel on the big screen seem content to only go to see one (maybe two if you’re lucky) a year, and they only turn out to the ones that are already massive hits with near-universal name recognition. Which could just be because the market for books is so much smaller than that for films; even a reasonably big hit in bookstores just isn’t going to have enough fans (or name recognition) to become a big hit in cinemas. So the bad news is that it doesn’t really matter how good a job Hollywood does of turning a young adult novel into a film: unless everyone’s already heard about the book – and by “everyone” that means “a lot of people who haven’t actually read the book” – they’re not going to turn out for the film. Unless you’re already a Hunger Games-level hit before you hit the screen, the odds simply are never going to be in your favour.

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