Fort Worth Weekly // March 9-15, 2022

March 9-15, 2022 FREE fwweekly.com

METROPOLIS If the primaries proved one thing, it’s that Fort Worth is about to go back to the Dark Ages.

BY S TAT I C

EATS & DRINKS The state’s No. 1 barbecue joint, Fort Worth’s Goldee’s does brisket and a couple other staples excellently.

BY LAURIE JAMES

STUFF Our b-ball writer admits he was deadwrong about the Mavs. #trollhim

BY BO JACKSBORO

MUSIC Grunge-rockers Uncle Toasty celebrate their debut vinyl Friday at Lola’s.

Texas is looking to repeat as the country’s premier boxing state, of which Fort Worth is the capital.

BY PAT R I C K H I G G I N S

B Y

MARCH 7 - 26

Bullfighting, Basketball, Beers, Broncs & Big Parade!

B U C K

D .

E L L I O T T

Vo lum e 17

Number 49

Marc h 9-1 5, 2022

INSIDE No Mercy

Ryan Burger, Art Director Jim Erickson, Circulation Director

Do Jerry Jones and son Stephen deserve credit for cleaning up the cap mess they made? No. No is the answer.

4

By Patrick Higgins

Still No. 1?

We finally make a trip to Goldee’s and are glad to report it’s great — most of it.

By Laurie James

Bob Niehoff, General Manager

20

C o u r t e s y N e l s o n C h e n a u l t - U S A T O D AY S p o r t s

By Static

12

Work for Spotify

With its new invention, the streaming giant hopes to sign new artists.

By Anthony Mariani

CONTRIBUTORS

Edward Brown, Staff Writer

Megan Ables, Christina Berger, E.R. Bills, Jason Brimmer, Sue Chefington, Buck D. Elliott, Juan R. Govea, Patrick Higgins, Bo Jacksboro, Laurie James, Kristian Lin, Vishal Malhotra, Cody Neathery, Wyatt Newquist, Linda Blackwell Simmons, Madison Simmons, Teri Webster, Ken WheatcroftPardue, Cole Williams

Emmy Smith, Proofreader

EDITORIAL

27

Michael Newquist, Regional Sales Director Jennifer Bovee, Marketing Director Stacey Hammons, Senior Account Executive Julie Strehl, Account Executive Tony Diaz, Account Executive Wyatt Newquist, Digital Coordinator Clintastic, Brand Ambassador

BOARD

Anthony Mariani, Edward Brown, Emmy Smith

Cover photo by Buck D. Elliot DISTRIBUTION Fort Worth Weekly is available free of charge in the Metroplex, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies of Fort Worth Weekly may be purchased for $1.00 each, payable at the Fort Worth Weekly office in advance. Fort Worth Weekly may be distributed only by Fort Worth Weekly’s authorized independent contractors or Fort Worth Weekly’s authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of Fort Worth Weekly, take more than one copy of any Fort Worth Weekly issue. If you’re interested in being a distribution point for Fort Worth Weekly, please contact Will Turner at 817-321-9788.

Anthony Mariani, Editor Lee Newquist, Publisher

Star Witnesses

Laws don’t apply to this political candidate-endorsing megachurch.

STAFF

Fort Worth Weekly mailing address:

COPYRIGHT The entire contents of Fort Worth Weekly are Copyright 2020 by Ft. Worth Weekly, LP.

No portion may be reproduced in whole or in

part by any means, including electronic retrieval

systems, without the express written permission of the publisher. Please call the Fort Worth Weekly office for back-issue information.

300 Bailey, Ste 205, Fort Worth TX 76107

4 6 11 12 17

Metro

Static . . . . . . . . . . . 4

Feature Stuff Stuff 2 Night & Day

St . Pat’s Day . . . 14

20 Eats & Drinks

ADW . . . . . . . . . . 23

Street address: 300 Bailey, Ste 205, Fort Worth TX 76107

24 Music

For classifieds: 817-987-7689

27 Classifieds

For general information: 817-321-9700 For retail advertising: 817-321-9719

For national advertising: 817-243-2250 website: www.fwweekly.com

email: question@fwweekly.com

Hearsay . . . . . . . 27 Backpage . . . . . . 28

FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY

MARCH 9-15, 2022

fwweekly.com

FIND YOUR HAPPY PLATE

2

ORGANIC BLUEBERRIES 1 PINT $

4.97/EA.

BLACK ANGUS BEEF, USDA CHOICE

T-BONE STEAKS $

14.99/LB. SAVE $5.00

PRICES VALID 3/9/22-3/15/22

FORT WORTH 4651 WEST FREEWAY | 817-989-4700

SOUTHLAKE 1425 E. SOUTHLAKE BLVD. | 817-310-5600

BULLS GONE WILD!

THURSDAY, MARCH 10 & 24 COWTOWN COLISEUM Experience bullfighting at its best with an extravaganza that mixes freestyle fighters and game show challenges.

SADDLE UP MARCH 5 - 26

P RES E NTE D BY

COWTOWN KIDS RODEO & COWTOWN GOES GREEN PARADE!

YUENGLING ON THE EXCHANGE LAWN!

SATURDAY, MARCH 19 RODEO 1:30PM | PARADE 4:30PM

MARCH 16 - 20

Buy one adult rodeo ticket and get one free on Friday! Then come back Saturday for more fun at traditional prices.

It’s a St. Patrick’s Day party with $4 green draft beers served all day.

COLLEGE BASKETBALL VIEWING PARTY!

MARCH 15 - 20

Come watch the college basketball championship games on the lawn, picnic style!

Purchase tickets at CowtownColiseum.com & find more information at FortWorthStockyards.com

@STO C K YA RDSSTAT I O N @ F WSYSTAT I O N

131 E . E XC H A N G E AV E N U E FO RT WO RTH , T X 7 6164 ©202 2 STO C K YA R DS H E R I TAG E D EV E LO P M E N T C O.

MARCH 9-15, 2022

BOGO FREE TICKET FRIDAYS FRIDAYS, MARCH 11, 18 & 25 SATURDAYS, MARCH 5, 12, 19 & 26

THURSDAY, MARCH 17

FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY

STOCKYARDS CHAMPIONSHIP RODEOS!

LUCK O’ THE STOCKYARDS!

fwweekly.com

Roundup the family for a spirited day in the Stockyards! Swing by the rodeo then head outdoors for a spectacular parade and Irish-Western festivities.

America’s oldest brewery is now in Texas! Stop by for some free swag and samples of the newest Yuengling Lager and Flight pints.

3

Last week’s primaries may reshape Tarrant County politics — largely for the worse.

B Y

S T A T I C

Just over 200,000 Tarrant County residents — 17% of registered voters — cast ballots during last week’s primaries. The partisan elections that determine which candidates will represent their party in November saw many familiar names emerge victorious. In the county judge race, Democrat Deborah Peoples bested her one opponent by taking in 83% of 70,904 votes cast while former Fort Worth mayor Betsy Price lost to Trump-endorsed Tim O’Hare.

A Beto O’Rourke win in the midterms could end Gov. Greg Abbott’s tenure as the biggest bully of transgender children in the nation and pave the way for a Lone Star State that actually cares about providing access to

Static Landon Schott’s confusing but mostly LGBTQ-bashing social media posts have made him a pariah to many and a celebrity to right-wing nuts seeking elected office.

“You are obedient!” the Mercy Culture Church leader recently posted on his Instagram story. “You’re not hateful, mean, judgmental, intolerant, or bigoted because you choose to honor God’s word!”

The preacher caught our attention because backers of a new PAC, Tarrant County Conservatives, maintain close ties with Schott’s Fort Worth-based place of worship. The PAC funds a website that falsely portrays former mayor Betsy Price as an abortion-loving communist, and that misinformation campaign may have led to Price’s recent loss to Tim O’Hare in the Republican primary for county judge. Following that victory, O’Hare made an appearance at Mercy Culture.

“Huge win!” Schott posted on Instagram. “Looking forward to watching you walk all the way to victory in November.”

Federal laws forbid church leaders from engaging in political endorsements, but that hasn’t stopped Schott from telling his congregation to vote for local state rep candidate Nate Schatzline, who calls for placing “Godly” candidates in office, and district attorney candidate Matt Krause, among

FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY

MARCH 9-15, 2022

fwweekly.com

Unholy Ground

4

reelection, referring to O’Hare’s success in painting Price as a lefty.

Republicans like Price and Whitley can whine all they want about O’Hare’s strong showing, besting Betsy by 28,529 votes, but they can’t pretend their party hasn’t pandered to xenophobic, racist bigots for decades. Now, those factions are running the Republican party, and the extremists have the backing of wealthy Southlakers, evangelical pseudo-Christians, and Tarrant County’s criminal justice system. Both Sheriff Bill Waybourn and District Attorney Sharen Wilson used their elected positions to support O’Hare’s overtly racist, bigoted movement.

O’Hare’s campaign raised more than $1 million to fund messages that portrayed Black protesters as inherently violent and transgender children as “anti-family” values. Every press release O’Hare put out was full of lies about Price that sought to portray the lifelong Republican as a Marxist. Guess what? It worked.

One anti-Price website with ties to Fort Worth’s Mercy Culture Church misrepresented the former mayor as a danger to family values because she dared to take photos with folks in the LGBTQ+ community and

the ballot and decent public education for Texas’ five million students. While every Tarrant County race has serious implications for civic life in our part of North Texas, three races in particular caught our attention.

Pathological Liar Tim O’Hare Snags Republican Nom for County Judge

It reads like a Dragons football game — Southlake 1, Fort Worth 0 — with the obvious distinction that the county judge race is definitely not a pastime. Tim O’Hare’s powerful and well-funded white supremacist movement that recently beat former Fort Worth mayor Betsy Price now represents a threat to most Tarrant County residents’ way of life, and yet 71,557 Republicans are apparently OK with installing a homophobic bigot as head of Tarrant County.

It’s a sad fact that the cult of a twiceimpeached racist credibly accused of rape by nearly 30 women still holds the entire Republican party, especially Tarrant County’s, by the cisgender balls.

“I am very disappointed that a disingenuous attack campaign was successful in Tarrant County,” tweeted current County Judge Glen Whitley, who is not seeking other meanspirited wack-jobs. Schott’s stated goal is for right-wing crazies like him to “expand territory” in government.

When our news magazine posted that Tarrant County Conservatives’ treasurer, Erik Richerson, is a self-described worship leader at Mercy Culture Church, members of the megachurch’s congregation flocked to @FortWorthWeekly to allege that our publication is run by Satan — it is? kick ass!

— and that our editorial board would understand everything if we just went to one of their Sunday services. Several self-described Mercy Culture supporters wrote that Schott is just one of several pastors even as Schott remains clear about his central role in founding the place of worship.

“I had no idea that, five years later, we would be all in this room together,” Schott said during a recent livestreamed sermon.

“What makes [Mercy Culture Church] holy ground? When we are looking to take spiritual territory, we are looking for spiritual ground where God’s already at. I remember when God gave us this [building]. I remember shortly after, we had signed the papers.”

Several Instagram users privately thanked us for outing a church that preaches hate, openly endorses political candidates, and allegedly mandates church attendance as a prerequisite for participating in programs managed by Mercy Culture’s staff.

We’ve read enough of Schott’s social media messages to know he is a homophobic, holier-than-thou jerk who, like O’Hare, hides behind nutso conspiracy theories and Talibanesque interpretations of the Bible

Cour tesy of Instagram

True Colors

METROPOLIS

Republican county judge candidate Tim O’Hare (center) recently made an appearance at Mercy Culture Church because of course he did.

as a means of spreading his delusions to unwitting or complicit followers. If gay people are going to hell, then so are divorcees. It’s there in the Bible. You should try reading it sometime and not just the politically convenient parts.

Mercy Culture is far from alone in its perverse desire to impede progress. A 2020 poll by The Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research found that white evangelicals are far less likely to support laws that protect the LGBTQ+ community from discrimination. While around 60% of Catholics and non-evangelical Protestants support those protections, only onethird of white evangelicals do.

We recently asked O’Hare if, as county judge, he would take steps to protect trans-

also did not parrot transphobic rhetoric from our state leaders and the twice-impeached golfer. The homophobic assholes who put together the anti-Price website are also cowards. Only Erik Richerson, the treasurer behind the PAC that funds the website, is listed on government disclosure forms. The supporters of the PAC overplayed their hands by openly violating Texas Ethics Commission rules that mandate accurate releases of information. Ethics commission staffers are in possession of formal complaints against the PAC, Tarrant County Conservatives, from a civic-minded local who asked to remain anonymous, and the website operators will be forced to disclose their funding sources in the near future in accordance with state law. Can’t hide behind those white hoods any longer.

O’Hare’s team will do their best now to position him as a moderate. They will try to distract the public from the monstrous, expensive acts he committed while mayor of Farmers Branch — he made English the official language and forced landlords to check the immigration status of tenants before signing a lease, two acts that cost Farmers Branch $5 million to defend and that the continued on page 5

gender youths. He said the “Bible is the holy word of God,” which we took as a “no.”

Schott is far better suited to teaching hate than mercy. In one Instagram post, he addressed same-sex weddings.

“I would not recommend going and supporting a sinful lifestyle,” Schott responded.

American views on homosexuality have evolved significantly since the mid-1990s, when fewer than one-third of Americans were OK with same-sex marriage. Only 28% of respondents to the 2020 annual American Values Survey said they don’t support the right of same-sex couples to wed, meaning that most of us do. The percentage of adults who identify as queer is soaring, according to a recent Gallup poll. Around 20% of Gen Z — older teens and younger twentysomethings — identify as LGBTQ+.

Mercy Culture Church’s congregation undoubtedly influenced the recent Republican primary in favor of zealots who openly ignore this county’s separation between church and state. Any movement that is founded on exclusion will find, in the end, that it has a shorter-than-expected shelf life, and something already smells rotten at this megachurch.

This column reflects the opinions of the editorial board and not the Fort Worth Weekly.

To submit a column, please email Editor Anthony Mariani at Anthony@FWWeekly. com. Columns will be gently edited for factuality and clarity.

Metro

continued from page 4

courts ultimately ruled as unconstitutional.

O’Hare, the man who single-handedly turned Southlake into a political dumpster fire of right-wing paranoia over imaginary threats, has brought disgrace and humiliation wherever he has turned his political attention. The public needs to hold him accountable for the suffering he has caused, and Tarrant County voters need to boot his supporters — meaning every elected official who endorsed him — from office.

In November, a vote for Deborah Peoples for county judge will be a vote for truth, justice, and democracy.

Clean Slate for Precinct 4?

Graft and insider dealings defined much of J.D. Johnson’s 40-year tenure as Precinct 4 commissioner, and many of his alleged misdeeds are only now coming to the public’s attention through reporting by our news magazine. If you want a new road or lucrative county contract in Precinct 4, simply buddy up with Johnson or write a big ol’ check to his campaign, like Steele and Freeman Inc. president Michael Freeman did in 2014 and 2015.

Based on our recent open records requests, Tarrant County paid Freeman’s construction company $16,312,855 to cover the construction costs of Tarrant County Northwest Sub-Courthouse in Precinct 4. Steele and Freeman completed the 58,000-squarefoot county headquarters in 2012, and Freeman donated $10,000 to Johnson in 2014

and $7,500 the following year, according to campaign finance disclosures. Though not illegal, these types of quid quo pro agreements undermine local government credibility and create miniature kleptocracies that every good ol’ boy in Tarrant County is apparently OK with.

Republican Manny Ramirez recently beat Constable Jody Johnson — J.D.’s son — in a contentious primary race that pitted the president of the Fort Worth Police Officers Union against the golden child of Fort Worth’s good ol’ boy club. Papa Johnson gifted his son a cool $250,000 last summer, but even that largesse wasn’t enough to ensure that the Johnson dynasty would persist. Apparently, Precinct 4 voters are done with that family.

In the days leading to last week’s primary, we published descriptions and copies of documents that appear to show Precinct 4 employees working during government business hours to help Jody’s campaign (“Campaigning on the Clock?” Feb 25). The documented misuses of government resources appear to have begun in 2016 when Jody first took elected office as constable. Texas’ penal code forbids public officials from using their office for self-serving purposes like campaigning.

Given Precinct 4’s conservative leanings, it is all but certain that Ramirez will be elected its commissioner come November. We predict that the days of insider dealings in west and northwest Tarrant County are finally over.

The taxpayers who voted for Ramirez and who will likely vote for him over Dem Cedric Kanyinda in November expect as much.

Persecutor or Prosecutor?

Based on our open records requests, attorneys and staffers at the Tarrant County District Attorney’s office are fleeing DA Wilson. Nearly one-third of her nearly 300-person workforce resigned or retired last year. If that exodus continues this year, it will likely be due to terror about the prospect of a Matt Krause or Phil Sorrells administration next year. The Republican candidate for district attorney will be decided in the Sun, May 24, runoff election.

Sorrells was blessed by Father Trump, and a former judge accepting an endorsement from a racist, bigot, and credible rapist who limply tried to overthrow the U.S. government tells you all you need to know about what Sorrells will bring to 401 W. Belknap St. if elected. Nothing good.

The DA’s office is responsible for prosecuting state laws at the county level, but Sorrells’ campaign website is full of right-wing rhetoric that has absolutely nothing to do with county government work. “Sorrells will aggressively prosecute criminal conduct by illegal aliens and will make every effort to detain them until they are deported,” part of his website reads.

The notion that illegal immigrants are somehow disproportionately responsible for violent crime is racist and based on Trump’s bullshit attempts to divide the country along racial lines.

“Undocumented immigrants are considerably less likely to commit crime than native-born citizens, with immigrants legally in the United States even less likely

to do so,” the Washington Post reported four years ago during the worst of Trump’s efforts to portray Mexicans as dangerous.

Sorrells is running against an arguably even more unhinged opponent. Former State Rep. Matt Krause, when he wasn’t drafting anti-LGBTQ+ legislation, was hunting for “woke” books that dealt with racism, sexuality, and history. His efforts mimicked state and national right-wing efforts to portray certain stories as dangerous. Crackpots like Krause buy into Fox Nation talking points that equate anti-racism with anti-white. The former state rep initially announced he was running for State Attorney General before withdrawing from that race to run for DA. All that matters to Krackpot Krause is power.

Under DA Wilson, Tarrant’s prosecutors have shown a willingness to use their office to attack political opponents. Under Krause’s leadership, we can only imagine how much evil will be perpetrated under the guise of “voter integrity” or protecting “family values.”

Democrat candidate Tiffany Burks has something that Krause and Sorrells lack — 27 years of experience as a prosecutor — and a willingness and ability to restore faith in the local DA’s office. l This column reflects the opinions of the editorial board and not the Fort Worth Weekly. To submit a column, please email Editor Anthony Mariani at Anthony@ FWWeekly.com. Columns will be gently edited for factuality and clarity.

With multiple locations to choose from, our program continues to help Tarrant County residents save and secure money this tax season!

FIND A TAX CENTER NEAR YOU!

VOLUNTEER INCOME TAX ASSISTANCE

MARCH 9-15, 2022

Our IRS-certified volunteers help taxpayers claim valuable tax credits to ensure they are maximizing their full refund potential—including the Child Tax Credit (CTC).

FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY

United Way of Tarrant County’s Volunteer Income Tax Assistance (VITA) program provides FREE tax preparation services for families and individuals whose household income is $60,000 or less.

fwweekly.com

GET YOUR TAXES DONE FOR FREE!

5

championship during the same time.

The duo represent the only brothers to ever hold concurrent professional world boxing championships. Donald became a member of the U.S. Olympic team, though he was unable compete at the Moscow games because of sanctions — some things never change — and Bruce missed the Montreal games in 1976, losing the spot to “Sugar Ray” Leonard. These brothers had something else in common aside from their blood and dashed Olympics aspirations. They were both Fort Worth Golden Gloves champions.

B U C K

D .

E L L I O T T

Roberto Casas, 41, has a full- and part-time job but is hoping to make headway in the Masters division of this year’s regional. Even though he’s been boxing for only three years, 6 the 203-pounder has promise, his coach says.

Buck D. Elliot

FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY

MARCH 9-15, 2022

fwweekly.com

I

n an area most just pass through, should they be headed to the Stockyards, sits an unassuming metal building across a bridge from downtown. Beginning around 5:30 p.m. almost every night, the gravel parking lot becomes dotted with vehicles, and one night not too long ago, a trio of men mixed and mingled outside the iron-gated entrance. One of these men’s hands were immediately noticeable, as they were wrapped in neon-yellow duct tape. Slowly, additional vehicles carrying men, women, and children parked as the sun began to set. At 10 to 6, the doors were unlocked from within, and the amoeba of humanity slowly filtered inside, except a few who were devouring instructions from a gentleman in jeans and a ball cap who emerged from behind the locked gates.

Many at this facility are training for an upcoming boxing tournament, hosted in Fort Worth, the first step in a progression to the national Golden Gloves Tournament of Champions in Tulsa this year. The man outside fervently giving instructions is Joe Guzman. I didn’t know there was such a thing as a walking and talking boxing

David Anguiano, 22, is a Northside High School graduate looking to revive his junior career after losing at regionals in 2017. The young father says he’s all-in on pursuing a professional boxing career.

museum, but Coach Guzman epitomizes a sweet science sage if ever there were such a thing. I arrived at Fort Worth’s lone Golden Gloves gym with a notepad and phone — standard materials in the journalism world — but quickly realized I’d be best served by taking the occasional note while letting the boisterous coach walk the east wall of the gym (which is wallpapered in team photos and castled with trophies) and trying to avoid interrupting him.

If you’re a youngster, or new to the area, you may not know that Cowtown is known for more than cattle and crooked politicians. Fort Worth is the 86-year-old hub of Texas’ Golden Gloves franchise.

This 96-year-old nonprofit boxing organization open to anyone encompasses more than 30 franchises nationwide that send teams to a national tournament every year. Texas is easily one of the most successful states. The humble building off Jacksboro Highway is essentially an exhibition of how trophy architecture has evolved over the last century. People are familiar with — at least as a brand name — Golden Gloves. The amateur boxing organization has never adopted another moniker, and that continuity has led to at least name recognition among commonfolk.

Boxing as a spectator sport has experienced ups and downs over the last few decades, and even those who aren’t committed consumers of combat sports are aware of recent superstars like Oscar De La Hoya or Floyd Mayweather. It would be hard to find a Boomer or Gen Xer who doesn’t know of Evander Holyfield, George Foreman — if for nothing more than his personalized grills — or infamous ear biter Mike Tyson. Professional boxing is mostly predicated on long-anticipated fights

shown via Pay-Per-View and featuring hand-picked opponents who prepare for one ginormous payday for months at a time. Even Jake Paul — of Vine, Disney Channel, and YouTube fame — is now a major name associated with professional boxing, but amateur boxing is alive and well in Panther City, even if the names aren’t household quite yet, and it’s largely because of Golden Gloves.

Former champions — many of whom started their careers in this gym northwest of downtown (or one similar) — are punching to break into a sport that Fort Worth stakes part of its multifaceted identity on. Donald “Cobra” Curry was the first national world champion from Fort Worth and won the Welterweight division in the early 1980s. Curry’s older brother Bruce Curry — who had been working at the General Motors plant that now houses Martin Sprocket and Gear off McCart Avenue — won the Light Welterweight

Fort Worth’s fighters were regional champions in 1969.

Buck D. Elliot

B Y

Buck D. Elliot

Texas is looking to repeat as the country’s premier boxing state, of which Fort Worth is the capital.

As a state, Texas is still producing some of the best amateur boxers in the nation, and they’re all — at least in some way — connected via Cowtown. Golden Gloves Fort Worth is the funnel through which all amateurs throughout the Lone Star State will compete nationally for a title. The Fort Worth Regional meet — which runs March 8-12 at Will Rogers Watt Arena — is the first step for fighters from the greater North Texas area who aspire to advance to Golden Gloves champions.

Monica Basan, the president of Texas’ franchise since 2016, is in charge of coordinating travel and accommodations for the coaches and fighters from the Lone Star State, as well as overseeing fundraising.

Basan evolved into this position after coming through the iron gates with her oldest son, who was interested in boxing and started training there when he was 9. Twenty-one years later, Basan’s son is now the gym director and coaches along with his brother. Basan’s husband also coaches at the gym and serves as vice president of the Texas franchise, and their daughter helps coordinate whatever tasks are required. As with all official Golden Gloves gyms, the facility is free to use.

New boxers can join one of the three clubs that operate regularly, of which Basan’s husband and Guzman run two, or they’re free to bring their own coach and utilize the equipment and space within operating hours. There are quite a few boxing gyms around — some corporately owned, others privately — but there’s never any fee associated with a Golden Gloves gym. The coaches are volunteers, and during the course of an evening practice, you’re likely to see 8- to 45-year-olds of all skill levels.

Junior Chavez, an assistant coach, told me it generally takes someone between four and six weeks to figure out if the sport is for them or not.

“Your test is in here, and it’s gonna hurt if you fail,” Guzman said, pointing at the sparring ring whose footprint eats up half of the building’s square footage.

Guzman has coached for the Texas team at nationals since 2013 and emphasized the trust he builds among successful fighters.

The essential characteristic in one of his continued on page 7

Feature

Alexis Mones (black uniform) fought her way to back-to-back national titles for team Texas in 2019 and 2021in the women’s 119-pound division.

champion and was joined by German Lopen, who won the men’s 125-pound weight class and is also local to Fort Worth.

Mones offered some insight into the challenges of amateur fighting compared to the professional boxing we consume on television: “You’re having to make weight every single day of a tournament.”

continued on page 8

fwweekly.com

in limbo toward that process. In 2019, the first year she advanced from state, Mones won the 119-pound weight class along with a coveted title. She represents the first time a Fort Worth-based fighter had won a national Golden Gloves title in 31 years. In 2021 (after the meet was canceled due to COVID in 2020), she repeated as

MARCH 9-15, 2022

Coach Joe Guzman poses in front of one of the team photos of him and his brother, Freddie Guzman, from their Golden Gloves fighting days.

Golden Gloves fighters don’t generally train at the weight they compete at. They cut down to weigh in and fight in a slightly lower class than what they’d generally be, which is something professional fighters do but at a much lower frequency.

“I was a lot smaller in the 125-pound weight class,” said Mones, who had advanced to state in the heavier class in 2018 but couldn’t win that tournament until deciding to commit to fighting in the lighter class. “I felt like I could just hit them with the kitchen sink, and they would keep coming,” she said while patting her head and recounting her difficulties before dropping to the lighter division en route

FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY

Buck D. Elliot

fighters, according to him, is openness in all facets.

“If you listen out here,” he said, “you’ll listen in there.”

When asked why he thought the teams from Texas had been so successful, he lauded their maturity and focus, stressing that it couldn’t be taught but that it is necessary for the coach to tap into.

To advance, all boxers who appear at the national tournament will have won their regional and state meets, which are multiday events. Fighters compete tournamentstyle in a draw along with others in the same weight class and gender. While Masters and Juniors are present at the regional and state fights, the focus is on those between the ages of 18 and 40 (which are the age cutoffs for nationals), and there are no differentiations between ages.

“They’re really fighting their buts off,” said Basan while explaining the long progression an athlete endures to reach the champions tournament. Fights are Olympic-style, which means they’re three three-minute rounds to show the judges what they can do, and it’s impossible to prepare for one specific style of match or opponent like a prize fighter will.

Like most gifted amateur athletes, their primary goals are to become professionals and be paid. Alexis Mones is

Cour tesy Rick Ir ving

continued from page 6

7

Stylish Eyewear for FA S H I O N SUN SPORT CHILDREN

by Certified Opticians @PatrickOptical

@Patrick_Optical

Buck D. Elliot

2255 8th Ave. 817.370.6118 www.patrickoptical.com

This wall in Fort Worth’s Golden Gloves gym serves as the trophy case and museum for the boxing talent that’s fought for team Texas throughout the years.

Feature

FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY

MARCH 9-15, 2022

fwweekly.com

continued from page 7

8

to her first championship.

Mones started boxing at 23. Now a 31-year-old mother of two, the Trimble Tech graduate who always played sports said wrestling in high school worked to ingratiate her to and stoke her appetite for combat sports.

“I just wanted to get back in shape — I kind of like violence,” she said, laughing that she always enjoyed watching mixed martial arts and the like but knew better than to ever do anything to land her in trouble in her normal life. A native of San Jose, Mones moved to Fort Worth when she was 8 and considers herself a Texan, admitting her Left Coast family chides her about her accent while on trips to visit them. After becoming a two-time champion, Mones — who is a leasing agent day-to-day — was supposed to make her professional debut on a fight card in Mesquite last summer, but the contest was canceled. Still technically an amateur, Mones hadn’t yet decided if she would return for the regional Golden Gloves tournament this week to try to win another title, citing how hard it is on your body to make weight so many days in a row and admitting how hard it is on people to miss work.

All travel, lodging, and per diems are covered by the Golden Gloves organization, but there’s no way for these amateurs to recoup missed wages from their day jobs as simply attending the final tournament is a nine-day trip. In addition to the support of Golden Gloves staff like Basan and Guzman, Mones applauded Cowtown’s resident historian and philanthropist Larry O’Neal, who has helped her

and other fighters generate income by supporting fundraising campaigns for them to attend other tournaments where lodging and expenses aren’t covered.

O’Neal, Mones said, organizes meetings at Ol’ South Pancake House on South University Drive where former world champions like Curry will attend and meet with veteran and upstart boxers to network and fellowship together.

Following this week’s regional, the weightclass champions from the sub-franchise regionals throughout Texas will then return to Will Rogers March 16-19 for the state meet to determine which fighters will comprise the team of Texas at the national tournament in Tulsa in mid-August.

Coach Guzman will be the default man in the corner of every fighter with “Texas” embossed on their uniform. Individual coaches from qualifiers are welcome to attend. Some are able to, while others aren’t.

Team Texas is a force as it pertains to national titles and total points at nationals (which a team receives for champions or fighters advancing deep into the tournament in their respective weight class). As a team, last year was historic for Texas. Of the state’s 13 fighters (nine men and four women), seven returned as Golden Gloves champions — including Mones and Lopen — along with the team title. Texas’ margin of victory ahead of the second-place squad was greater than any Basan could find a record of.

In comparison, Texas won the franchise title in the 2019 nationals but crowned only two individual champions, of which continued on page 9

Cour tesy Monica Basan

Of the 13 Texas boxers sent to the 2012 Tournament of Champions, all seven pictured won a national championship in their weight class.

MAR 23  27 D E N TO N , T X 50+ documentaries 50 + bands

To register for free visit thinline.us

fwweekly.com

Mones was one.

Other franchises “hate when they see Texas coming, because it’s going to be a hard fight,” Guzman said of the atmosphere surrounding the squad at nationals. The team championship has returned to the Jacksboro Highway facility four times in the past eight years. They’ve also finished third place twice during that span.

Guzman, who is known to wear jeans and boots during the national meet, is as confident as they come. Now a Haltom City resident, Guzman was a Golden Gloves fighter in his youth along with brother Freddie Guzman, who became a professional boxer. Joe, never going pro himself, worked 20 years for Waste Management and is now a partially retired father of two and grandfather to eight.

Loquacious in nature, the coach recounted national meets and his exploits, including a verbal altercation with boxing superstar Floyd Mayweather after the Diamond Hill-Jarvis graduate mistakenly called him “Roger” when the team was visiting Mayweather’s gym while in Las Vegas during that year’s meet. Coach Guzman admits that he regularly keeps the team waiting outside during the national commissioner’s opening talk to the coaches and their fighters so he can march in with his squad and intimidate the other teams.

“It’s just a little psychological warfare.”

One of Guzman’s grandsons, Isaiah Blanco, is only 13 but approaching 6 feet tall and is preparing for a junior national tournament this summer. Blanco spent part of that night’s practice sparring with David Anguiano, a 22-year-old Northside

FILM MUSIC FEST

MARCH 9-15, 2022

continued from page 8

100% live 100% free

FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY

Feature

High School grad who works downtown at the Omni Hotel. Anguiano, now father to his first child, hasn’t fought since losing in the 2017 regional meet. He said that he’s all-in on pursuing a Golden Gloves title now and that his daughter has provided the motivation for him to win his battles outside the gym and pursue boxing professionally. When asked if he would continue based on success this year, Anguiano unequivocally replied that he would — “that’s all I know,” referencing Rocky Balboa.

Not everyone training at the gym is homegrown or a youngster hoping to make their name as professionals. Roberto Casas will be fighting in Golden Gloves’ Masters division. The 41-year-old tire mechanic and server is a transplant from Chicago who moved to Fort Worth because the cost of living was more reasonable and he has family in the Houston area. Guzman was quick to tell me that a man of Casas’ age doesn’t listen very well because they’re already set in their ways and are much tougher to coach. Casas confirmed as much but is trying to improve his adaptability after starting to box only three years ago.

The Masters athlete won the Atlanta Open and is hoping for continued success this week.

Fort Worth’s lineage with boxing is long and storied, encompassing a spectrum of great professional and amateur fighters.

While Panther City may not be regarded nationally as a fount of premier boxers — we haven’t erected a statue of a fictitious fighter in our downtown like Philadelphia did — there is no doubt that the Fort is still producing great fights and fighters in a sport that is not down for the count and is an important part of a history that is still being written. l

9

fwweekly.com FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY

MARCH 9-15, 2022

Through May 8

10

¡Printing the Revolution! The Rise and Impact of Chicano Graphics, 1965 to Now is organized by the Smithsonian American Art Museum.

Leonard Castellanos, RIFA, from Méchicano 1977 Calendario (detail), 1976, screenprint on paperboard, Smithsonian American Art Museum, Museum purchase through the Luisita L. and Franz H. Denghausen Endowment, 2012.53.1, © 1976, Leonard Castellanos

STUFF Dallas is winning because of all of the players (and the head coach) I wanted gone.

B Y

B O

J A C K S B O R O

tk Cour tesy of Creative Commons

Mea Maverick

• Maxi Kleber has always had value on the defensive end of the floor, and his 3-point shot has steadily improved over time — with the notable exception of last season while he was coming back from injury and COVID. The big German isn’t as consistent as we’d like, but his effort is. I think most MFFLs assumed he’d be packaged in a trade for some piein-the-sky all-star. I’m happy sticking with a high-motor player who takes on the opposing team’s best player, drains 3s at a reasonable clip, and doesn’t eat up a significant amount of cap space. Guys like that are valuable, and I don’t know why people like me are so anxious to ship him off in a trade.

• If this team had a mascot — a real one, not the cartoon horse I find myself

• After a period of numbness in the wake of the KP trade, I’ve gone from kind-ofsad-but-grudgingly-accepting of Spencer Dinwiddie to downright sports-horny about what he can add to the roster. He brings more #swag to the floor than anyone not named Luka. Since he joined the team — and escaped the NBA purgatory of D.C. — the Mavericks have won five of six games (as of this writing), including victories over the Heat, Lakers, and twice over Golden State. He’s been efficient and unselfish. At least over a very small sample size, he’s proven to be a player who knows when to lead and follow.

Dinwiddie has been the perfect complement to Luka — as has Kidd and the team’s other suddenly awesome role players. Crow never tasted so sweet. l

MARCH 9-15, 2022

• Finney-Smith is a legit starting-level 3-and-D guy. If you watched him as a rookie, when his playing style was that of a scared puppy trapped in a busy intersection, you’d be forgiven for doubting he’d ever become a decent rotational guy, let alone a really good starter. And yet, here we are. He keeps being awesome on both ends of the floor. The front office has desperately searched for a stud wing, acquiring guys like Reggie Bullock, Joshes Green, and Richardson. Like the romantic turn of a John Hughes movie, the honchos were so busy chasing a wing, they almost overlooked the one who was here all along.

wishing they’d melt down for cartoon glue — it would have to be Dwight Mother-Fucking Powell. He’s a basketball kamikaze who lives above the rim. Just look at the giant knot on his head from Thursday evening. That amount of blunt force would have taken down a charging rhino. Powell didn’t even come out of the game. In addition to throwing his body around like he’s in a Warped Tour mosh pit, Powell is consistently good for a few hustle rebounds, at least one highlightreel dunk, and a whole lot of high fives from the bench. Even during his best-ever year as a pro, dude doesn’t complain about minutes. I wish his cap hit was smaller, but what’s the going rate for a human shield who can levitate toward the rim, anyway?

FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY

• The Mavs are capable of playing long stretches of suffocating defense. The fact that they do so without a real defensive stud — like the 2011 championship squad boasted in Tyson Chandler and Deshawn Stevenson — is all the more impressive.

Kidd has made the difference. This team scrambles, dives all over the floor, irritates opponents, and generally out-hustles other professional basketball players on a nightly basis. The boys in blue rarely

showed this kind of consistent effort under Rick Carlisle.

fwweekly.com

Dorian Finney-Smith has become the stud wing the front office has been chasing.

I hated the Mavs’ hiring of noted wifebeater and all-around jackass Jason Kidd this past offseason. I’ve never understood the team’s utter devotion to lifelong role players like Dorian Finney-Smith, Maxi Kleber, and Dwight Powell. They’re all nice players, but I’m not sure any of them would have survived this long on another roster. I winced at the return the front office collected for Kristaps Porzingis, even though I understood they had to shed that contract.

To me and many other roundball diehards, Dallas looked like a permanently middling team wasting the prime years of a bona fide star. I was wrong on all of those accounts. At least for now. I don’t know if this team is championship caliber, but I’m done doubting them.

After winning three notable games in row (including two against Golden State!), the Mavs are showing that “it” factor that sports nerds like me hate to discuss. I can’t quantify it. There’s no stat outside of Luka’s amazing play of late that I can point toward and say, “See? This is what the team is doing differently or better.”

I’ve made a list of the many ways I was wrong about this team.

11

Strutting Their Losses

As the Joneses cosplay at being hard-nosed and pragmatic franchise managers, it only highlights just how financially irresponsible they truly are.

FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY 12

P A T R I C K

H I G G I N S

With the official start of the new league year just weeks away, Dallas Cowboys owner and GM Jerry Jones, along with his rowdy band of nepotism-gonewild minions, must begin the annual tradition of assembling the pieces that will ultimately be responsible for the coming season’s inevitable disappointing end.

A tricky task on par with assembling an IKEA bookshelf while blindfolded and missing several pieces lies before them.

Due to previous seasons’ financial wizardry (a.k.a. an oxycontin-level addiction to restructuring contracts), Jones and Co. find themselves more than $22M over the salary cap.

To compound the difficulty of balancing such an overdrawn checking account, several key contributors from

MARCH 9-15, 2022

fwweekly.com

B Y

C o u r t e s y N e l s o n C h e n a u l t - U S A T O D AY S p o r t s

STUFF

last season are currently set to become free agents. Among them are wide receivers Michael Gallup and Cedrick Wilson, breakout tight end Dalton Schultz, talented defensive end Randy Gregory, and the team’s leading tackler, safety Jayron Kearse.

Reports came out late last week that the first step in trying to get the cap situation under control would be to cut No. 1 wide receiver Amari Cooper. With the move, the Cowboys would reduce the amount paid to Cooper this year from $20M down to just $6M. That level of savings would get them nearly three quarters of the way back into the black in one fell stroke of the headsman’s axe. Then news came out this past Sunday that the next line item to be crossed off the balance sheet could be Pro Bowl defensive end Demarcus Lawrence.

Word is, Tank declined the opportunity to take a pay cut, which would have left him out on the streets along with Coop.

Cutting Lawrence before March 20 would save another $8M this year. And — boom — we’re back under the cap. Wait to cut him June 1, and you can kick his entire $19M off the books and actually have some spending money.

With these inevitable cuts, the Joneses, led by self-perceived fiscally sensible son Stephen Jones, are no doubt slapping themselves on the back for their ability to set feelings aside and make difficult business decisions. Praise their genius management skills and untarnished financial responsibility! Addition by subtraction!

Bill Belichick would be so proud! However, to agree with their glowing self-assessment, you would have to completely ignore all of their foolish decisions along the way that put them in the position of having to cut two of their best players just a few years after signing each of them to $100M contracts to begin with.

Pay top-of-the-position money to a holdout running back a full two seasons before you have to? The Joneses did that.

Lock up a hobbled linebacker based on just one good year of production out of three? The Joneses did that, too. Play hardball with your franchise QB for three years only to cave to his demands when

Jerry saving himself from his recent-past fumbles is nothing to cheer about.

his price inflated by $15M per year?

Haha, yep, that’s the Joneses in action.

Restructure aging players into perpetuity until half your cap is composed of dead money? You get the point. Cutting Cooper and Lawrence is not a victory for fiscal responsibility. It is an admission of how monumentally you have failed at being so.

Still, there are those who are probably applauding the Cowboys brass for their shrewd business acumen. All signs currently point to re-signing aforementioned free agents Gallup and Gregory. If you can replace a player with a younger one of similar quality for less money, that is team-building porn for your average fan. That’s what all the great GMs are seemingly able to do. But that “if ” is doing some Hafthor Bjornsson-level lifting. On top of the fact that Gallup is still recovering from a season-ending ACL injury that clouds his availability for the beginning of next season, he’s only one year younger than Cooper even though Coop has spent three more years in the league. Gallup has also had just one 1,000yard season and no more than six TDs in a single campaign. Not exactly apples to apples.

Gregory, though, had a career high in sacks last year. With a whopping six.

One fewer than he had senseless driveextending penalties. He ranked 17th on the team in tackles with 15, one fewer than

16th ranked Lawrence … who played five fewer games. What exactly is the upside here?

Well then, you’re probably thinking, we should be able to get them both for cheap. Not so fast, kemosabe. Current projections estimate Gallup to command somewhere in the $12M-14M range, putting him in the Top 20 salaries at his position. When you consider this basically washes out Cooper’s cut savings, it’s more difficult to swallow than a whole Virginia ham. Cooper is still the far superior player despite a “down” year (more the fault of questionable offensive play-calling and gun-shy QB play than anything to do with player regression in my opinion), and no sane viewer of football could reasonably argue it.

The Gregory for Lawrence tradeoff is certainly less clear. Tank can’t seem to stay healthy in recent years, and his sack numbers have a hard time justifying his price tag on paper, but when he does play, he impacts so much more on every down than simply pinning opposing QBs to the turf. Gregory is probably the more naturally talented player, but he seems to still suffer from the same questionable judgment displayed early in his career, and he’s not been able to turn that talent into meaningful production on the field.

Gregory is also, just like Lawrence, already 29 years old, and locking up a player that age long-term probably wouldn’t be smart anyway.

Which is exactly why the Cowboys will probably do it, and I will have to write this same article about them having to cut him and Gallup to free up cap space two years from now. That frustration will only be compounded by the probability that we’ll all be tormented by the famed “Coooooop” chant now coming from Washington Commanders fans twice a year as Amari torches Trevon Diggs again and again after signing with the hated NFC East rival.

But Jerry will still be giddily kneedeep in Johnnie Walker because, win or lose, the ledger will undoubtedly be fatter for the world’s most valuable sports franchise, and, as we all know, that is really all he cares about. l

Vacations or Staycations

DOGGIE DAYCARE for Small Breeds

Day & 24 Hour Boarding for All Sizes Grooming For Small & Medium Sizes

“We’ll take great care of your furry friends!”

221 E Broadway Ave 817-332-4364 Heart of Fort Worth’s South Main Village!

www.DoggieDiggsFortWorth.com

Persian and Oriental Rugs

Rug Cleaning and Repair, Sales and Expert Consultation Professional & Friendly Rug Cleaning

5928 Curzon Ave. • 817-920-RUGS (just off Camp Bowie next to Zeke’s)

www.ctrugs.net

FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY

to Clean Rugs

MARCH 9-15, 2022

fwweekly.com

Crawl Home

13

I have to admit, the pandemic has turned me into quite a hermit. A bottle of Bailey’s for Irish coffee and a trip to Movie Trading Company (4604 SW Loop 820, 817-7316659) for a copy of the 1993 campy comedy/

horror flick Leprechaun and I’m set for the St. Patrick’s Day season.

For the rest of you adventurous types just itching to get out there and do some

reveling, the Saint Paddy’s Day choices are abundant here in North Texas this month.

Here are a few ideas for this weekend.

(Meet me back here for next weekend’s info in next week’s issue). As is our custom, we’ll start with Fort Worth first and work our way to other areas alphabetically from there/here. #YoureFortWorthIt

Rahr & Sons Brewing Co. (701 Galveston Av, 817-810-9266) is hosting a St. Patty’s Mid-Week Tasting 5pm-8pm Wed, Mar 16 featuring live music by Poo Live Crew.

Commemorative pint glasses are available for purchase for $15 and include three beers. There is no cost to attend.

FORT WORTH

Old Town Station (295 E Renfro St, 817370-7607) hosts a St. Patrick’s Day Pub Crawl on Sat, Mar 12 at 11am. The crawl will take guests to nine local businesses including Fish City Grill, Frescos, Grumps Burgers, Lone Star Bar & Grill, Moontower Pizza Bar, Old Texas Brewing Company, The Rim, Rio Mambo, and Spice Rack.

Tickets are $30-$50 at EventBrite.com.

Cowtown Brewing Co. (1301 E Belknap St, 817-489-5800) hosts Primadonna: The Original Madonna Tribute Band at its St. Patrick’s Day Party on Sat, Mar 12 starting at 11am. No cover.

BURLESON

COLLEYVILLE The Londoner Pub (5120 State Hwy 121, 817-684-8810) has specials for the St. Patrick’s Day season from Fri, Mar 11 thru Thu, Mar 17 including Irish food and drink specials and giveaways for St. Pat’s swag.

THE COLONY The Truckyard (5959 Grove Ln, 469401-6764) hosts its Truck-of-the-Irish St. Paddy’s Party 11am-1am Sat, Mar 12, and 11am-12am Thu, Mar 17 featuring food trucks, live music, and specials on iced Irish coffee, Irish mules, Irish whiskey, jello shots, green Tex-Mex lager, and specialty cocktails. This event is family/ dog-friendly and there is no cost to attend.

DALLAS

FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY

MARCH 9-15, 2022

fwweekly.com

Celestial Beerworks (2530 Butler St, 972707-0523) hosts St. Patrick’s Day Salsa & Bachata Dance 5pm-8pm Sat, Mar 12.

The theme is green and black, so dress accordingly. There is no cost to attend.

14

Energy Square (4925 Greenville Av, 214600-1533) will be the end location of the 41st Annual St. Patrick’s Day Parade and the location of the St. Patrick’s Day Festival 10am-6pm Sat, Mar 12, featuring The Toadies with 40 Acre Mule and Jake Quillin. The festival will also feature food trucks, four bars, and DJ sets between bands. Tickets are $24 for GA and $60 for VIP at PreKindle.com.

Sundown at Granada (3520 Greenville Av, 214-823-8305) hosts a free Parade After Party 12pm-10pm with ten live bands playing inside and on the rooftop, plus a DJ out front. There is no cost to attend.

DENTON East Side Denton (117 E Oak St, 940-2181401) hosts St. Patrick’s Day Party on East Oak 11am-2am Sat, Mar 12 featuring green beer and specials on food and drinks

ROANOKE Cinnamon Creek Ranch (13794 Old Denton Rd, 817439-8998) hosts Couples-by-the-Creek St. Patrick’s Dinner at 6:30pm Sat, Mar 12 (BYOB) featuring live music by Justin Ross and Johnny Cooper, plus axe throwing, a bonfire, cornhole, dancing, games, and photo booths. Tickets are $65 at FareHarbor.com.

By Jennifer Bovee

The time is here for green beer.

fwweekly.com

The City of Lewisville hosts St. Paddy’s Texas Style at Wayne Ferguson Plaza (150 W Church St, 972-2193401) 1pm-8pm Sat, Mar 12 featuring Americana, Celtic Rock, Irish Folk, and Texas Country music by Rathmore Celtic Rock with Blaggards, Irish Free Dance, Keeper of the Plains, Legacy Music Studio Band, Rosie Flores & The Talismen, Ryan Glenn Band, and Silkie Girls. Along with the live music, there will be axe throwing, beer, face painting, food trucks, inflatables, and life-size games.

Admission and all activities are free.

MARCH 9-15, 2022

Canuck’s (1102 Texas St, 972-436-7000) hosts St. Patrick’s Day Trivia 7pm-9pm Mon, Mar 14. Trivia is free to play. Teams must consist of six players or less and one smart device is allowed per team. There will be prizes for the top three teams. Green beer is available for purchase.

Historic Downtown McKinney (111 N Tennessee St, 972-547-2650) hosts McKinney St. Patrick’s Day Beer Walk 11am-6pm Sat, Mar 12. Upon arrival, receive your signature beer taster and map, then sip and stroll the streets of Downtown McKinney enjoying ciders, craft beers, seltzer, and spirits at 20 stops along the way. (Note: Arrivals are timed and you choose yours when purchasing tickets.) Tickets are $30 at EventBrite.com with a portion of the proceeds benefiting nonprofit partner Hug’s Cafe.

FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY

LEWISVILLE

MCKINNEY

Cour tesy iStock

at East Side, Oak St. Drafthouse (408 E Oak St, 940435-0404), and Miss Angeline’s (125 E Oak St, 940-8008090).

15

Free Outdoor Festival!

Saturday March 19, 11am to 3pm Open to attendees of all ages Featuring themed attractions, balloon art, giveaways, and DJ music

FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY

MARCH 9-15, 2022

fwweekly.com

Free Green Miniature Pony Rides!

Take pictures with them too!

16

Participating restaurants will serve green beverages and food specials with a portion of the sales donated to Cook Children’s Medical Center.

Participate in the Lucky Pot of Gold Donation Station for a chance to win a gift basket valued at $500!

Parking at Crockett Row is always simple and free.

CrockettRow.com | @CrockettRowW7th

curated pieces by the art department faculty and staff. Tickets are $5-10 at EventBrite.com.

Cour tesy Facebook

11

This week is Spring Break at the Carter.

NIGHT &DAY 10

The Fort Worth Academy of Fine Arts hosts a faculty talent show every year Thursday as a fundraising event, and hilarity always ensues. The Real Faculty of FWAFA will be performed in front of a “live studio audience” at 7pm.

In the theater’s lobby, you can also view the FWAFA Faculty Art Show, featuring

Part swap meet and part custom car show, the Goodguys LMC Friday Truck Spring Lone Star Nationals are in town. Texas Motor Speedway (3545 Lone Star Cir, 817-2158500) hosts this annual event 8am-3pm FriSun, featuring trucks from 1987 and prior on the first two days and then vehicles from any year on Sunday. Drive the AutoCross course, listen to live bands, browse the manufacturers’ midway, enjoy the kids’ zone, and more. Admission for spectators is $10-25 per day at Good-Guys.com.

12

From 10am to 4pm SatSun, do some shopping at the 14th Annual Funky Saturday Finds Spring Fling at Will Rogers Memorial Center (Amon Carter Exhibit Hall, 3401 W Lancaster Av, 817-392-7469). This popular market features handmade and vintage items from more than 140 makers and pickers.

This event is animal-friendly, so bring your pups. There will be raffles benefiting Saving Hope Animal Rescue and CASA of Tarrant County. Whatever your budget, you won’t leave empty-handed as attendees receive swag bags with coupons, products, and samples. This event is free to attend.

13

In addition to its regular season’s seven productions annually and an all-youth Sunday musical group, Theatre Arlington (305 W Main St, 817-2757661) is branching out into comedy. On the second Sunday of each month, the newly formed comedy troupe at Theatre Arlington presents Theatre Arlington’s Comedy Club, featuring a mix of improv, musical numbers, sketches, and standup.

There is no cost to attend. For updates on performance times and performer info, visit TheatreArlington.org.

14

Like tributaries trickling down to the mighty river, caravans of musicians Monday make their way through North Texas each spring en route to SXSW in Austin. If you’re lucky, you’ll catch some up-and-coming out-of-towners playing one-off gigs along the way (#gasmoney).

It seems that this year, Rubber Gloves Rehearsal Studios (411 E Sycamore St, Denton, @RubberGlovesDentonTX) has wrangled a few. The SXSW Spillover Fest at 8pm features Thelma and the Sleaze (Nashville) and Mark Burgess of the Chameleons (UK), plus Dana (Ohio), Egg Drop Soup (Los Angeles), Godcaster (Philadelphia), Gorgeous Hair (Denton), Gus Englehorn (Quebec), and Waltzer. So Good Vegan will be selling food. Tickets are $10 at the door.

15

As part of the Conversations with Women’s Voices of Tuesday DFW four-night event series, Downtown Cowtown at The Isis Theater (2401 N Main St, 817-8086390) presents an evening with former Fort Worth mayor Betsy Price from 7:30pm to 10pm. The guest moderator is local mental health professional Adaire Byerly of Entertainment Mindframe (EntertainmentMindframe.com).

The final event of the series will be on Tue, Apr 12, with Krys Boyd of Think from KERA/ NPR. Tickets are $35 at OuthouseTickets. com.

16

Daily at 1pm thru Fri, take the kids to the Amon Carter Museum of Wednesday American Art (3501 Camp Bowie Blvd, 817-738-1933) for Spring Break at the Carter. This year’s theme is “raising our voices” and includes creating art projects, hearing inspirational stories, playing gallery games, sharing ideas, speaking up about things that matter, and more. This event is free, and all ages are welcome. Each day, different community artists will lead the various projects. To see what each day holds, check out the event pages at Facebook.com/TheAmonCarter/ Events.

By Jennifer Bovee

MAR 17-APR 10

fwweekly.com

A play by Jen Silverman

Make reservations for pre--how dining at The Lobby Cafe Stage West 821 West Vickery, Fort Worth 76104

Tue, Apr 1, 6pm Ikebana: e Art of Flower Arranging

First Tuesdays: Unique curated experiences each month

FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY

GET TICKETS stagewest.org | 817-784-9378

MARCH 9-15, 2022

Play with fire and you might get burned.

17

# 1 R AT ED P OP- UP VAC C INE C L INIC IN TA R R A N T C OUN T Y!

Sundance Square Pavilion

FRIDAYS in March

k a e r B g Sprin ction!

Pr o te d

Walk-Up / Register On-site

FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY

MARCH 9-15, 2022

fwweekly.com

inate Get vaccd before e or boosttravel! you

18

March 4, 11, 18, 25 11am – 6pm

ALL THREE COVID-19 VACCINES AVAILABLE Get Your First Shot, Second Dose or Boosters Pfizer, Moderna and Johnson & Johnson

Kids 5 and older are eligible for a vaccine

Free, Easy & Quick!

Clinic Run by Tarrant County Public Health Department

Free Parking (2.5 hrs.) in Sundance Square Garage No. 3 345 W. 3rd St.

19

FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY

MARCH 9-15, 2022

fwweekly.com

Goldee’s Bar-B-Q Brisket ............................................ $15/pound Pork ribs .......................................... $24/pound Smoked Turkey ............................... $20/pound House sausage link ........................ $5 each Chopped brisket sandwich ............ $8 Cheesy grits .................................... $12/quart Pinto beans or coleslaw ................ $8/pint

EATS & drinks Goldee’s Goodies

There’s lots to love about this raved-about barbecue destination.

Goldee’s Bar-B-Q, 4645 Dick Price Rd, FW. 817480-4131. 11am-3pm (or until sold out) Fri-Sun. All major credit cards accepted.

S T O R Y A N D P H O T O S B Y L A U R I E J A M E S

By now you’ve heard that owner-operators (and Arlington natives) Jalen Heard, Nupohn Inthanousay, Lane Milne, Dylan Taylor, and Johnny White opened Goldee’s Bar-B-Q just south of the landfill near Kennedale. Just about a year old, the restaurant managed to captivate the ’cue connoisseurs

FIRST BLUE ZONES

FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY

MARCH 9-15, 2022

fwweekly.com

APPROVED THAI RESTAURANTS IN FW!

20

Not everything was a hit at Goldee’s, but most was, especially the brisket.

at Texas Monthly. Goldee’s has a Fort Worth address, but it’s in that odd part of the Fort that’s closer to Kennedale and Rendon.

Pass the landfill and keep on going –– you’ll see a generic sign, but you’ll know the place by the crowds.

I was surprised that our various food critics haven’t managed to review the brisket yet, but even before the accolades, the restaurant was open only three days a week.

I am a little more local to the ’cue east of I-35, and apparently my editor thinks I have

“Best Thai Food” – FW Weekly Critics Choice 2015, 2017 & 2019 4630 SW Loop 820 | Fort Worth• 817-731-0455 order online for pickup Thaiselectrestaurant.com

the patience of Job. Thus, I found myself in what turned into a two-hour wait on a lovely Saturday morning last month. The good news is that the owners are now adept at estimating what they’ll need for a Saturday crowd. Right at the 11 a.m. opening, one of the gents came out, walked the line, did a little mental math, and addressed those of us toward the end: Most of the menu would likely be available, he said.

People in this line are serious about their ’cue. The people at the front of the line had been waiting three to four hours to be first. People brought board games, card tables, camping chairs, and coolers to help pass the time. It turns out that the coolers weren’t strictly necessary. While the guys at Goldee’s won’t sell you a beer, there’s an extra-large Boy Scout Jamboree-sized cooler filled with cans o’Lite and another cooler with water. It’s your reward for waiting in line.

Another reward: About an hour into my wait, one of the employees brought around samples. The burnt end I wolfed down was still warm and a little fatty, and it seemed to be the perfect pick-me-up to encourage those less steadfast to keep waiting.

By the time I got to the restaurant’s door, continued on page 22

SPICE

“Best Thai Food”

– FW Weekly Critics Choice Thai Kitchen & Bar 2016 – FW Weekly 411 W. Magnolia Ave readers Choice Fort Worth • 817-984-1800 2017, 2019, order online for pickup at Spicedfw.com 2020 & 2021

THE BEST THAI IN FORT WORTH

GIOVANNI’S I TA L I A N K I T C H E N

$

10

Lunch Special M–F 11am–2pm

store hours Tuesday - Friday saturday & sunday 4pm to 10pm 11Am to 10pm Closed Monday

5733 crowley rd • fort worth tx 76134

817.551.3713 | GIOVANNISFW.COM

Tuk Tuk Thai

Thai Street Food Food to go & Catering

BYOB

Free Delivery Limited Area & Minimum $20 3431 W 7th St • Fort Worth, TX 76107

FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY

MARCH 9-15, 2022

fwweekly.com

817.332.3339

21

FORT WORTH ARLINGTON

Man-hands of meat coming your way.

Eats & Drinks continued from page 20

BEST RAMEN WINNER - Fort Worth Weekly Best Of 2021

FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY

MARCH 9-15, 2022

fwweekly.com

K I N T A R O R A M E N . C O M

22

the line behind me stretched another hour or so, and everything save the beef ribs was still available. Beef ribs are a novelty anyway, and you’re mostly paying for the brontosaurus-sized bones. Besides, those weren’t what I came for.

The guys in front of me had consumed more than their share of the free Miller Lite, and I’m pretty sure the alcohol consumption was responsible for their hesitation at the cash register (come on, dudes, you were staring at the menu for at least 20 minutes) and in the heavily laden trays of food they struggled to carry into the dining room.

But who was I to judge? I left with brisket, pork ribs, turkey, a sausage link, a chopped brisket sandwich for my sister who can’t eat barbecue any other way, and sides: grits, beans, bread, and coleslaw. Everything was sliced, dished, and wrapped before my eyes –– the sandwich was literally made with two giant fistfuls of chopped meat, slapped on a bun and doused with the thin, red, housemade sauce.

When I finally unpacked the bounty for my ravenous family at home, we weren’t disappointed. The brisket slices included both the marbled point and the leaner flat, separated by a lacy web of connecting fat. The rub was the perfect salty-peppery blend, and whether you like the unctuous mouthfeel of the point or the leaner brisket, the taste and texture were definitely worthy of Best Of contention, Plus, the cherry red smoke ring was on point. We also got a few of the slightly crunchy, gorgeously smoky burnt ends thrown in. I learned later in an email conversation with the owners that this was perhaps just lucky. Apparently, the ends usually go for samples, unless there happens to be a handful within reach on the block as you order. I’d recommend asking for them.

The rest of the proteins were not as stellar. We did enjoy the slightly spicy sausage link, but the grease factor was high, and only someone with a gallbladder of

steel could eat a whole link. We paired it with some cheap yellow mustard for a little balance. The turkey was unfortunately rubbery and tasted massively of smoke. The pork ribs did not slide off the bone. This was explained in the collective’s post-meal email thusly: “When the meat slides off the bone, the meat grain is overcooked and drier. It also loses some of its pork flavor when it’s overcooked.” Fair enough, but the pork ribs were chewy, difficult to eat, and did not, as the guys wrote, “come off the bone cleanly.”

The sandwich (literally, two manhandfuls of meat squished on a burger bun) was delicious. The thin barbecue sauce tasted slightly fruity (when I asked, the reply was it was probably the apple cider vinegar) but also a little mustard-y and fairly spicy.

The sauce was prominent in the chopped sandwich, and although the sweet-sour combo was tasty, none of the meat save the abysmal turkey really needed much of it.

The coleslaw packed a little kale, which was interesting, and the bite of red onion, but the dressing had so much black pepper as to be inedible. The beans were fine (there was a little meat debris in the traditional ranch-style pot), and the cheesy grits were absolutely rave-worthy. These were the best cheese grits this side of Jon Bonnell’s Fine Texas Cuisine. And the bread wasn’t Mrs. Baird’s: The slightly sweet, airy, thick slices were indeed house-made. Double down on the grits, skip the coleslaw, and grab an extra loaf for your sides.

The last time I waited in line for two hours for barbecue was during the Obama administration. At that point, that particular ’cue-stop-in-a-trailer was all the rage, but I wasn’t that smitten. Incidentally, said family-owned place moved out of its trailer into a couple of locations in Tarrant County.

Barbecue is mostly about preference, and there’s no accounting for tastebuds. I would put the brisket at Goldee’s up against any other restaurant outside the 817, and the cheesy grits were exceptional. Do these two items make the restaurant worthy of the Texas Monthly No. 1 claim? Hard to say. Do the owners care much about that or any of this? Probably not. l

2.) Wednesday, Mar 9, is National Meatball Day. In celebration, Sfereco in Flower Mound (4120 River Walk Dr, 469-993-1201) and Lewisville (233 W Church St, 469-312-3009) are offering their traditional meatballs for $1 each, plus $5 specialty cocktails, all day Wed, Mar 9. This American-Italian restaurant serving “comfort food with a SpaghettiWestern flair” is known for its boldly flavored meatballs, so if you want to balk at tradition and try something different, the entire menu will also be available for dine-in, takeout, or delivery thru the usual third-party apps.

Cour tesy of Facebook

1.) In light of recent world events, let’s talk Russian vodka. Those on a quest to boycott it might be finding out that not very much vodka actually comes from the former U.S.S.R. Another tact might be to put your support (translation: dollars) behind a Ukrainian brand like Kruto Vodka. Not only is Kruto based right here in North Texas (13644 Neutron Rd, Dallas, @KrutoVodkaUSA), but its facilities in the Ukraine are still operational and support about 200 employees. To find a retail location that stocks the spirits, go to KrutoVodka.com/Stores.

be a live speaker to guide 3.) Are you ready for spring? you through the tasting.

The Fort Worth Botanic Tickets are $39.99 on Garden is! From 6:30pm EventBrite.com. to 8:30pm Fri, you are invited to After Hours in 5.) On Tuesday from 5pm the Garden at the Leonard to 6pm, Watauga Public Courtyard/Fuller Garden, Library (7109 Whitley Rd, the flower-filled patio at Watauga, 817-514-5864) the entrance of the botanic gardens (3220 Botanic Kruto is a Ukrainian vodka hosts a free chocolate tasting. People ages 18 Garden Blvd, 817-463-4160). with a North Texas and up will learn about Bring a blanket to lounge connection. chocolate from different on, enjoy one beer, one glass of wine, or one cocktail (or nonalcoholic companies and countries through sight, beverage), and some light bites at dusk smell, sound, taste, and touch. There is while listening to folk singer-songwriter no cost to attend, but calling to RSVP is Joseph Neville. (No coolers or outside food requested at 817-514-5865. will be allowed. Additional drinks and boxed meal options will be available for 6.) On Wed, Mar 16, at 7pm, head to Ten:One purchase.) Tickets are $25 at FWBG.org.

Artisan Cheese (515 S Locust St, Denton, 940-320-5639) for Gymnastic Tasting. What 4.) As Girl Scout Cookie season comes makes this wine tasting “gymnastic”? Says to a close, you might be asking yourself, host Brook Ray of Drink and Know Stuff, “Self, what should I drink with these “Gymnastics is a metaphor for challenging things?” Hooligan’s (310 E Abram St, and stretching our tasting ability.” Alrighty Ste 150, Arlington, 817-274-1232) has the then. “When you hear people talk about answers. At 7pm-9pm Sat, head to the Girl tasting wine, you will hear descriptions Scout Cookie & Beer Tasting and try five thrown around like tobacco, pear, quince, different cookies (Adventurefuls, Caramel lilac, barnyard, or cigar box, but when was Delites, Lemonades, Peanut Butter Patties, the last time you thoughtfully smelled any and Shortbread) with five different beers: of these things or, when applicable, tasted Dogfish Head 120 Minute IPA, Founders them?” At this tasting, you will smell and Backwoods Bastard, Prairie Artisan Ales taste some of the actual objects above, taste Weekend, Oskar Blues Barrel-Aged Ten wine with those attributes, then compare and Fidy, and St. Arnold Bishop’s Barrel No. discuss. If you’d like to nibble on a cheese 16. For a “proper experience,” there will board during the event, call and reserve/

purchase one from Ten:One Artisan Cheese.

Event tickets (covering the wine only) are $25 at DrinkandKnowStuff.com.

7.) I like to keep it local. Here at the Weekly, we all do. But sometimes an ad gets your attention, and the next thing you know, a PatCaken is at your doorstep from God knows where. Because it’s $99, I did not actually click “buy,” but maybe you will. From GoldBelly.com, you can purchase The St. PatCaken just in time for St. Patrick’s Day. This thing of beauty is whiskey pecan pie, Bailey’s cheesecake, and Guinness green velvet cake layered together with salted caramel frosting.

Hmm. Maybe I can expense one. Bob? Anthony? To check it out, go to GoldBelly. com and search for “The St. PatCaken.”

8.) Are you into Formula 1 racing? So is Black Bonnet BBQ (BlakBonnetBBQ@ gmail.com, 817-513-2580). From 9am to 11am Sat, Mar 19, Black Bonnet hosts Come Through for BBQ at Firehouse Gastro Park (321 W Main St, Grand Prairie, 469-909-4111) in celebration of F1 opening weekend. Watch the qualifying session on a projection screen at 10am.

Belgian brisket waffles, breakfast meat pies, smoked Scotch eggs, cocktails, coffee, and more will be available for purchase.

Anyone wearing F1 gear will get 10% off their purchases. #StartYourEngines

By Jennifer Bovee

The Ori g i n a l F T W

Hot Deals At Cool Prices

Stock your Kitchen at Mission!

Small wares, pots & pans, and all kitchen essentials available to the public.

Come see our showrooms!

MON-FRI 8am-5:30pm

2524 White Settlement Road Fort Worth • 817-265-3973

MARCH 9-15, 2022

Fort Worth | 612 University

FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY

Going on 50 years. Come see us!

fwweekly.com

Oyster Bar

23

MUSIC

RIDGLE A THE ATER

U LC H SAT 3/19 G & MORE

Toasty of the Town

IHW/IHWE

THU 3/31 WRESTLING DOUBLE HEADER FRI 4/1

Z E LO

PRO WRESTLING

KNOCKED LOOSE SAT 4/16 & MORE

Sludge rockers Uncle Toasty release their longawaited debut EP, and the product proves it’s worth the early hype.

FRI 5/6 PATTY GRIFFIN

WITH JOHN FULLBRIGHT

RIDGLE A ROOM

FRI HAIQEEM, FALSE FORM, 3/11 ROSEABOVE, DFA FRI 3/18 FRI 3/25

DECADES OF ROCK: THE VIRGE SHIBBY • WAJA • COLLIDE OVER ME MARCH MADNESS AT THE RIDGLEA ROOM

RIDGLE A LOUNGE THU 3/17

THE MODERN MISTAKE TOUR ON ST. PADDY’S DAY FEAT. RATCHET DOLLS

FRI 3/18

TYLER GILBERT (MONTANA/SASKATCHEWAN) - STONEHAVEN - DANK & MORE!

B Y

C o u r t e s y U n c l e To a s t y

MARCH 9-15, 2022 FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY 24

P A T R I C K

H I G G I N S

Jeffrey Chase Friedman recognizes that his new five-piece probably hit the scene with an unusual amount of anticipation for a brand-new band. Buzz has been building for Uncle Toasty for nearly a year now. References to the psyche-punk outfit began snaking their way into print in this paper months before the band had even played its first show, a sold-out rager at MASS in November.

Five short months later, they’re celebrating the vinyl release of their self-titled four-song EP via San Antonio imprint Saustex Records on Friday, and it’s one of the more hyped releases in town in years. To help commemorate the milestone, the band is hosting a massive indoor/outdoor show at Lola’s Saloon and Trailer Park with the very top tier of locals, including The Cush, Royal Sons, and the Go-Go-Rillas, to name just a few.

A large part of Uncle Toasty’s buzz obviously stems from the fact that frontman Friedman and Toasty’s two other guitarists, Sammy Kidd and Joe Tacke, have been playing together for several

fwweekly.com

SAT 3/12

AMMO FOR MY ARSENAL AND LONESTAR MASSACRE

years in one of Fort Worth’s more popular bands, the garage-punk outfit Mean Motor Scooter. When members of a well-known band branch out to explore other interests, it can certainly serve as a bit of a lift, but it isn’t just the connection to his other band that’s responsible for the smoky haze of Uncle Toasty being steadily pumped into the ether of the local music scene.

Friedman has demonstrated a dogged marketing capability, a skill that certainly helped facilitate the EP being scooped up

by Saustex.

“I think Mean Motor Scooter did help with a leg up,” Friedman acknowledged, but he bristled at potentially being seen as just an MMS side project.

“It was kind of mentioned that way in the press at first, and I really didn’t say anything about it at the time, but it definitely didn’t feel good,” he said. “You have to constantly remind people [about a show]. Show them the event. Send them the link. Do it again.”

It probably doesn’t help the “side project” impression with Kidd and Tacke in the band, and that is likely further reinforced by the fact that the odd Mean Motor Scooter member out in Toasty, keyboardist Rebekah Elizabeth, actually played bass on the record, but Friedman is adamant at drawing a distinction.

“It’s an entirely different animal,” he said. “It’s totally different. Different tuning, different energy, different volume level. It’s not the same thing at all.”

In this respect, he’s right. With the four songs on the new EP, while infused with the same raw punk energy MMS is known for, Friedman’s songwriting bends Uncle Toasty’s aesthetic to heavier grounds than Kidd’s signature bratty sing-song. Toasty is a strong brew of early’90s grunge rock a la Skin Yard Frenchcontinued on page 25

Dustin Schneider

pressed through a porous Butthole Surfers filter. Loud, fast, unapologetic — there’s a looseness and a heavy sense of humor that Friedman says is essential.

“It’s rough around the edges,” he said. “It’s supposed to be. It’s not meant to be nice and clean. I don’t want to write about anything political or divisive. Other people have that covered. I just want to write about weird shit that interests me, like man-eating crocodiles and aliens over Phoenix.”

Friedman said the idea for Uncle Toasty came to him as he lay in a hospital bed suffering from pneumothorax, a serious condition in which air is trapped in the chest around or outside the lungs often caused by trauma or pulmonary disease.

Three days in the ER can certainly force one to ponder their own mortality.

“I was laying there thinking about how we’re just in this meat shell,” he said, “thinking about how we never have the time in life we think we do. I challenged myself to see if I could create something from the beginning and bring it all the way to fruition.”

The experience in the hospital inspired the song “Pneumothorax,” which appears on the EP. Though he’d written a few songs and tried to front punk bands in the past, an experience he described as “terrible, and I Uncle Toasty Album Release Show 7pm Fri w/The Cush, The Wee-Beasties, Phorids, Dead Words, The Go-Go Rillas, and Royal Sons at Lola’s Saloon/Trailer Park, 2736 W 6th St, FW. $10. 817-759-9100.

won’t get into why,” Uncle Toasty would be the first project that Friedman, usually a drummer, would try to sing and play guitar in.

After recruiting his main writing partner Mike Surdel to play drums, he sought to fill out the lineup. There were a few false starts before he settled on just incorporating the people he knew and trusted musically anyway.

The members of MMS “had expressed interest and thought that they would like to do it, and I thought, ‘Oh, well. Why the fuck not? Ty Segall does it,’ ” he deadpanned.

Bassist Dustin Schneider (Plastikon, Eye Was Once Eaten) rounds out the current lineup.

When pressed if the constant association with his other band perhaps caused any sense of pressure for him with Uncle Toasty, a sort of “high standard” he feels he must live up to, he is dismissive.

“I don’t really get a sense of pressure,” he said. “Anticipation, certainly. It was actually kind of exhilarating seeing that all these people are very interested. I think we’ve matched that intensity.”

So far, the reception to the band seems to bear that out. Fans might have been interested in the project for its familiar association, but Uncle Toasty is earning adoration in its own right. It’s a new path that Friedman said he hopes to follow as it continues to separate the new project from the older one.

“I can’t wait to put out the next thing,” he said of an upcoming full-length.

“Those songs will be way heavier, way more intense.” l

MARCH 9-15, 2022

continued from page 24

FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY

Music

fwweekly.com

Friedman (center): “I just want to write about weird shit that interests me, like man-eating crocodiles and aliens over Phoenix.”

25

fwweekly.com MARCH 9-15, 2022

D R I NeK of th Month

FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY

ry Tues $2 oFF eve

Happy Hour Mon - Fri

Dollar Off Beers | $8 Drink of the Day

10%Mondays oFF To-G o CoCkTails! and Tuesdays WeekniGHT speCials

a reFresHinG blend oF Monday - Thursday aGriCole , FalernuM , pineapple , leMon , vanilla and orGeaT 26 117 S Main St • Fort Worth

Fort Worth’s most entertaining burlesque show

Hearsay

STARTING MARCH 18 Spotify’s Skynet-ish invention transforms users into unpaid A&R reps.

Contact HearSay at Anthony@FWWeekly.com.

or More Info SleepingPanther.live

CLASSIFIEDS

1000 Houston St FORT WORTH 817-946-2295

bulletin board/ public notice

NOW HIRING FOR THE FOLLOWING POSITIONS IN CEDAR HILL, TX ENTRY LEVEL WELDER

SHIPPING/RECEIVING

Position Summary: Verifies and keeps records on incoming and outgoing shipments and prepares items for shipment by performing the following duties.

• Clearly and effectively communicate using email and telephone shipping related information to customers, vendors, and co-workers; effective communication skills • Organize and prioritize work orders to meet shipping • Audit work to ensure accuracy and completeness of shipping orders; attention to detail Identify potential delays and/or address immediate shipping delays and provide an effective and timely resolution and/or contingency plan; problem solving • Work independently with limited supervision; self starter Physical Demands and Work Environment: Occasionally exerting up to 70 pounds of force; frequently exerting up to 50 pounds of force; and constantly exerting 10 pounds of force to move objects. Frequent stooping, crouching, reaching, standing, and walking are required. Frequent talking, hearing, and seeing with close visual acuity are required.

CHECK OUR WEBSITE FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THESE POSITIONS Equal Opportunity Employer/Protected Veterans/Individuals with Disabilities

For more information on these positions or to apply go to: isco-pipe.com

fwweekly.com

Job Summary: Four day work week! Fit and weld natural gas delivery products built from raw materials according to blue print specifications in accordance with API 1104 certification standards and procedures.

• Receive project raw materials and match to corresponding blue prints/drawings • Fit and weld project in accordance to blue print/drawing specification and API 1104 standards • Responsible to maintain production schedule to ensure minimum ‘reworks’ so that product is delivered to the client on time • Accurately maintain required records and documentation for each project as outlined by Fabrication Foreman and/or Manager • Maintain a clean and safe work area • Report any maintenance requirements needed for equipment in your work area timely so that production schedule is not affected • Follow ALL corporate safety requirements and standards including but not limited to welder safety equipment, protective clothing, protective lenses/goggles, steel toed boots, etc.

• Safely operate a forklift

MARCH 9-15, 2022

any of it, because it needs to go away to make room for new, local-to-you music, but I love me some Zeppelin, Floyd, and The Doors. And precisely 10 other bands. That’s it. Now get off my lawn.

The problem is that the listening public is not always right. Exhibit A: The Black Eyed Peas. I mean, WTF is that pandering, stupid garbage? And while I promise I’ll listen to Drake, Ed Sheeran, and Bad Bunny when I’m done with my spiel, I can’t imagine their music is even on the same planet as Wish You Were Here or L.A. Woman or Physical Graffiti. Sorry, but Baby Boomer Bullshit has survived for as long as it has because it represents some of the greatest, most dynamically progressive music ever written. From what I’ve heard of contemporary pop and rock on the radio and the screen, it’s not even melodic. It’s just someone shouting the same phrase over and over. Repetitive, yes. Melodic?

Not quite. You’re still on my lawn.

The patent — and, like the national award-winning journalist that I am, I read some of it — does not indicate if playbacks refer to new uploads or existing uploads. Read it yourself.

Though radio isn’t dead, it’s severely lagging behind Spotify in supporting new talent. Since radio is primarily the province of Baby Boomer Bullshit, the disparity makes sense. By focusing on new artists, however, Spotify will perhaps accidentally turn AM/FM radio off spinning new artists. Streaming services (including satellite, podcasts, and personal libraries) made up 18% of all audio consumption in 2020, according to Edison Research. Terrestrial radio accounted for 39%. For “breaking” artists, will that surely, undoubtedly generous Spotify contract be worth coming in 50,000th place behind Drake et. al, or would you rather be in 500,000th place behind The Eagles, Boston, and the Stones? Either way, looks like local artists are losing. Now let’s download that app … — Anthony Mariani

FOR TICKETS

FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY

I’m not saying my taste in music is better than yours? It’s just that, well, yeah, it kinda is. Listening to We Travel the Spaceways-era Sun Ra and BULLS and Ralph Vaughan Williams on shuffle indicates that I am a superior Homosapien unlike any who has heretofore been seen under the sun, spaceway travelers or not.

And my mom always said I was special.

(She’s right, motherfuckers.)

I don’t listen to Spotify, but I’m going to — my friends dig it, and now that I’ve stopped buying crystal meth from them, I should be able to stay out of the clouds long enough for “The Lark Ascending” to play through. The other reason I’m downloading that green app as soon as I close my laptop is that I can become an “early adopter” and start cashing in on all that yummy new-artist moolah!

What do you mean, There’s no new artist moolah?

There’s not, though the streaming giant will be using users (“early adopters”) to determine breakthrough artists to ostensibly sign them to surely very fair record deals. (Note: Spotify pays artists between $0.003 and $0.005 per stream.)

Here’s what’s up. Spotify was just granted a patent for new Skynet-ish technology that can scout talent. The invention works by collecting listening patterns from “one or more” Spotify users who “adopt” a song or songs “early.” Spotify can then predict which artists are more likely to “break” or break out based on said patterns. To become an adopter, a user must play back a “plurality” of “breaking” artists, which kind of sounds like, if you listen to a lot of new music on Spotify, you can become an early adopter and, with other like-minded adopters, actually create breakout artists! But — hahaha — you won’t get paid for it, idiot.

A system like this thinks really highly of its users. In Spotify’s case, it makes sense. Its most streamed artists are ones I’ve heard of (Drake, Ed Sheeran, Bad Bunny, The Weeknd, Ariana Grande, Justine Bieber) but whose music I’ve never had the pleasure of listening to — and won’t any time soon, though I think my 10-year-old learned an Ed Sheeran song on piano last year.

(Capsule review: not bad!) Now, I love free jazz and proto-punk and pastoral symphonies, truly, but at heart I’m a Baby Boomer Bullshit lover. I won’t buy

EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT 8:00PM AND 10:30PM

Cour tesy Spotify

Get Your Coin Purses Out — Spotify Branching into A&R

27

Fort Worth 817-763-8622

ADVERTISE HERE!

If you need to hire staff or promote your business, let us help you online and/or in print. For more info, call 817-987-7689 or email stacey@fwweekly.com today.

BEER & BIBLE at Tulips FTW

Can you be queer and be a Christian? This is the question that the newly founded Ark Church is posing.

On the 1st and 3rd Wednesdays of the month, they would like to explain why they believe that “yes!” is the resounding answer. On March 16th at 6pm, head to Tulips FTW (112 St. Louis Av, 817-367-9798) for Beer & Bible, the church’s gathering, and drink some pintes while chatting about the Book of Acts. More info at:

Facebook.com/ArkChurchDFW

The Gas Pipe, The GAS PIPE, THE GAS PIPE, your Peace Love & Smoke Headquarters since

4/20/1970! SCORE a FREE GIFT on YOUR Birthday, FREE Scale Tuning and Lighter Refills on GAS PIPE goods, FREE Layaway, and all the safe, helpful service you expect from a 51 Years Young Joint. Plus, SCORE A FREE CBD HOLIDAZE GIFT With-A-Buy thru 12/31! Be Safe, Party Clean, Keep On Truckin’. More at

Garland Dallas Plano Lewisville

pack of papers

with every purchase

thegaspipe.net

HANNAH IN HURST

For updates and to check out my services, visit me online at MasseuseToTheStars.com today. Be Safe, Be Well. (MT#004747)

C PEA

817.590.2257

COWTOWN ROVER

a Free E LOV

E & SMOKE SINCE 4/20/

thegaspipe.net

1 97

0

HISTORIC RIDGLEA THEATER

Inspection Almost Due? Are You Road-Trip Ready?

With our handy pick-up and drop-off services, having your car checked out could not be easier. Get ready for the holidays. Call today!

3958 Vickery | 817.731.3223 www.CowtownRover.com

EMPLOYMENT: CDL Drivers, Hazmat and Tanker preferred. Health insurance and other benefits. Per Diem Paid EOE. 830-833-4547 EMPLOYMENT

DR Grooming, LLC dba Texas All Breed Grooming School, Ft. Arlington,TX, Head Instructor opening, prepare course materials, lecture & give practical instruction in Dog Grooming, develop & manage Dog Grooming provision & resources of the College.

To apply, mail resume to: Attn: Denise Reed, 1003 Enterprise Pl, Ste 100, Arlington, TX 76001.

THE RIDGLEA is three great venues within one historic Fort Worth landmark. RIDGLEA THEATER has been restored to its authentic allure, recovering unique Spanish-Mediterranean elements. It is ideal for large audiences and special events. RIDGLEA ROOM and RIDGLEA LOUNGE have been making some of their own history, as connected adjuncts to RIDGLEA THEATER, or hosting their own smaller shows and gatherings. More at theRidglea.com

Lone Star Gun Shows Fort Worth March 12-13, 2022 3401 West Lancaster Ave.

Saturday 9am to 5pm. Sunday 10am to 4pm Admission $9 12 and under FREE Cash only at the door Subscribe to our email list for entry discounts www.lonestargunshows.com

MINERAL RIGHTS WANTED

Wants to purchase minerals and other oil and gas interests. Send details P.O. Box 13557, Denver CO 80201

EMPLOYMENT

Peloton Land Solutions seeks a Graduate Engineer in Ft. Worth, TX. BS in Civ. Eng, related field or foreign equiv.

2 yrs related exp required. Any suitable combination of edu, training & exp will be accepted. Send resumes to Careers, Peloton Land Solutions, 9800 Hillwood Parkway, Suite 250, Ft. Worth, TX 76177.

Vaporfi Delta 8, CBD and Vape

ARLINGTON

Fort Worth’s #1 Drag Show Comes Downtown to the Sleeping Panther

1000 Houston Street

FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY

NOW HIRING!

28

You Won’t Soon Forget!

MT 106812

$40 FULL HOUR $80 682-301-1115 HALF HOUR

HOT STONES MASSAGE

Special Price on Friday!

Call for details!

gift cards available! cc accepted

469-661-4786

Located in Better Salon Spa

MT106812

A Massage

MARCH 9-15, 2022

fwweekly.com

Drag Brunch and Drag Bingo every Sat & Sun Nightly drag shows every Friday, Saturday and Sunday night myohmytheshow.com or 817-946-2295 for tickets

2150 E Lamar Blvd #118 817-795-3285