Fort Worth Weekly // July 13-19, 2022 by Fort Worth Weekly

July 13-19, 2022 FREE fwweekly.com

After years of exasperation, loss, and a lot of patience, these sensual, beloved synth rockers have finally returned. B Y

P A T R I C K

METROPOLIS EATS & DRINKS Over the next few months, the Helen’s Hot Chicken series City in Crisis will dive deeper makes up what into all the local government it lacks in ambiance misdeeds we’ve been covering. with flavor. BY S TAT I C

BY KRISTIAN LIN

H I G G I N S

BOOKS In a new book, a local sportswriter remembers the 2015 Alamo Bowl as a special moment for TCU athletics. BY BUCK D. ELLIOTT

HEARSAY James McMurtry, comedian Brian Breckenridge, a Crow-soundtrackish show at MASS, and more zounds are happening this week. BY STEVE STEWARD

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INSIDE Remember the Alamo Bowl

Sure, things are bad, but they will always get worse. By Anthony Mariani

Ryan Burger, Art Director Jim Erickson, Circulation Director

By Kristian Lin

Cour tesy TCU Athletics

Doomscroll or Delight?

Bob Niehoff, General Manager

It’s as warm inside as the fried chicken is scrumptious.

Anthony Mariani, Editor Lee Newquist, Publisher

See You in Helen’s

In his new book, a local sportswriter salutes TCU’s improbable 2015 victory and plucky hero. By Buck D. Elliott

STAFF

J ul y 1 3-19, 2022

Black Tie Affair

One of the biggest North Texas bands of the midaughts is reuniting.

By Patrick Higgins

CONTRIBUTORS Megan Ables, Christina Berger, E.R. Bills, Jason Brimmer, Sue Chefington, Buck D. Elliott, Juan R. Govea, Patrick Higgins, Bo Jacksboro, Laurie James, Kristian Lin, Vishal Malhotra, Cody Neathery, Wyatt Newquist, Linda Blackwell Simmons, Madison Simmons, Teri Webster, Ken WheatcroftPardue, Cole Williams EDITORIAL

Edward Brown, Staff Writer Emmy Smith, Proofreader Michael Newquist, Regional Sales Director Jennifer Bovee, Marketing Director Stacey Hammons, Senior Account Executive Julie Strehl, Account Executive Tony Diaz, Account Executive Wyatt Newquist, Digital Coordinator Clintastic, Brand Ambassador

BOARD

Anthony Mariani, Edward Brown, Emmy Smith

Cover image courtesy Jill Johnson Fort Worth Weekly mailing address:

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BOOKS

Jim Reeves scores another solid gain with Remember the Alamo Bowl, his book about TCU’s improbable comeback win and the unlikely hero who led them to victory.

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Admittedly, I’d be a terrible book club member. This is posited as a hypothetical because it would never happen. I don’t read long-form books often and don’t see myself prioritizing the time to do so. However, when it comes to a compelling story about sports, I’ll make an exception, especially one centered on TCU football. As the summer is reaching its second half, we’d be wise to start putting ourselves in the pigskin mindset as we rush toward a new era of Frog football which will kick off in just more than six weeks. A 40-year baseball writer for the Star-Telegram, Jim Reeves is an institution in that realm, but the breadth of his career and talent is on full display in any work he writes. Remember the Alamo Bowl, his third book, centers on a story any faithful Frog fan knows already: TCU’s epic 31-point comeback against the Oregon Ducks in the 2015 Valero Alamo Bowl. If you attended the game, like I did, even the mention ignites a swell of emotion that’s difficult to contain. Any member of Purple Nation who watched in any capacity recalls the depths of despair followed by volcanoes of elation.

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Cour tesy TCU Athletics

Fall-Ball Reading this Summer

The 143 pages of Kohlhausen’s life and Alamo Bowl saga go down like a Rahr Bucking Bock.

For that reason, the thought of a book recapping what was something so emotional and action-packed seemed unlikely. I was wrong. Reeves uses the Alamo Bowl as a backdrop and touchstone to narrate the life and journey of senior quarterback Bram Kohlhausen, the anointed and awarded hero of the game. After Heisman-candidate quarterback Trevone Boykin was arrested during the trip and sent back to Fort Worth, the game duties fell to his roommate and close friend who would start his first and only game in a Frog jersey. Reeves’ prose is gently autobiographical as it deftly leads the reader through bowl-preparation week while recalling the Houston prospect’s early and high-school life, as well as his journeyman college experience before landing in Fort Worth. Nothing about Reeves’ writing seems labored or pretentious. The 143 pages of Kohlhausen’s life and Alamo Bowl saga go down like a Rahr Bucking Bock: easy to drink, with enough body and complexity that it’s delicious without overwhelming you. Even a dedicated and knowledgeable Frog fanatic is likely to be reminded of something they didn’t know or forgot from a season whose hopes were at a fever pitch but was an overall disappointment — despite the exclamation-point bowl victory — recollecting the amazing talent that has since graduated. The quality and quantity

of research presented in Remember the Alamo Bowl is impressive in retrospect, though it reads fluidly. Quotes and memories from the likes of Gary Patterson, Kliff Kingsbury, and, of course, the entire Kohlhausen family add color and contrast. Reeves uncovers and retells details of that season that were unlikely to ever be unearthed unless you happened to be having too many drinks with a player from that TCU squad. Remember the Alamo Bowl reads in two distinct sections: Kohlhausen’s life and early career, including the playing odyssey that eventually brought him to Fort Worth, and the week of the bowl game and the disaster and ascendancy that followed. I read it in two sittings and was always eager to reach the end of a story that everyone knows the ending to. I learned more through every page than expected. Along with fans loving this book for adding complexity to a character many of us knew only as the senior quarterback with the funny name starting his first and last game, TCU’ers should enjoy this book for another reason: It represents what was the last great narrative of the Gary Patterson era. It can and should be argued that winning the Rose Bowl during their undefeated season was the mountaintop of Patterson’s career — though we didn’t know it then — but the record comeback against Oregon while missing two

of the greatest players of his tenure (Boykin and receiver Josh Doctson) was probably the last truly meaningful season Patterson coached as it pertains to TCU’s national persona — unless you count the Cheez-It Bowl. Despite a pretense of being solely about an improbable bowl victory, Reeves brings life and depth to a character Frog nation might not have known except for two completely different halves on the gridiron. You’ll finish Remember the Alamo Bowl feeling like you know Kohlhausen and that the veil that often exists between fans and the real-life young men who don pads and helmets on Saturdays has been lifted in a way that reveals their humanity for the normal yet extraordinary people they are. Published by Berkeley Place Books, an imprint of Great Texas Line Press, Remember the Alamo Bowl is slated for release in print and via Amazon on Aug. 1. The Kindle edition is available now, and advanced copies can be purchased at GreatTexasLine.com. KillerFrogs.com is hosting a book signing with Reeves and Kohlhausen at Stanley Eisenman Fine Shoes at The Shops at Clearfork on Tue., Aug. 16, from 5 to 8pm if you’re the type who likes to meet local sports heroes. It would be the ideal way to prepare for a football season in which no one knows what to expect and anything could happen. l

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METROPOLIS

As self-serving actions by local officials reach new lows, our editorial board digs deeper than ever to spotlight taxpayer-funded malfeasance at several levels of government.

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S T A T I C

Never in this magazine’s history — 26 years and counting — have public and elected officials at every level of local government acted with such disregard for the public interest. One Weekly reader recently summed up the growing sentiment among Tarrant County residents who follow our reporting on inept and vindictive leaders at Tarrant County College (TCC), Tarrant Appraisal District (TAD), the district attorney’s office, and other branches of local government. “Tarrant county is facing a crisis of legitimacy across the board,” the reader wrote. “The sheriff, TAD, medical examiner, and Tarrant County College are all full of people showing no regard for the people of the county they claim to serve and whose tax dollars they take while failing to earn.” Based on our extensive and ongoing investigations, local officials are openly defrauding taxpayers, falsifying government documents, working under false titles, lying, cheating, and stealing as a means of doing favors for friends and clinging to power. It defies belief that the FBI or another law enforcement agency hasn’t raided Tarrant County’s Administrative Building for original copies of documents that we readily publish — week after week. Countywide government malfeasance has reached levels that require an expansive examination of the commissioners court, high-ranking county elected officials, and groups like the Tarrant Regional Water District (TRWD), TAD, and all levels of law enforcement, from the Fort Worth police department to the Sheriff ’s Department and district attorney. Beginning next week, we are launching a new series, City in Crisis, in which we will compile recent and new reporting as part of

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C o u r t e s y o f Ta r r a n t C o u n t y D i s t r i c t A t t o r n e y

City in Crisis

For the first time in 50 years, Tarrant County residents may face lifetime sentences for terminating pregnancies.

a countywide examination of local government. We’re going to name names and connect the dots between public officials and the public resources they misuse. The Eighth Administrative Region that serves Tarrant County and is based in Fort Worth may have defrauded the county of hundreds of thousands of dollars by allowing a retired Tarrant County judge to preside over trials under the false title of senior judge. Tarrant County’s family courts rarely grace the pages of the Weekly. The recent story of a local father who had to battle a Tarrant County family judge to see his dying and now deceased son was so egregious that we’ve decided that Tarrant County’s family courts deserve the same level of scrutiny we give other branches of local government. For too long, mothers and fathers have financially bled just for the right to see their children while wealthy and well-connected parents enjoy unfair advantages in court. Tarrant County’s criminal judges are assigning important cases to many visiting retired judges who neglect to take their constitutional oath of office on the first day of assignment, thereby voiding their rulings. The recent assignment of visiting retired judge Lee Gabriel that recused Judge David Hagerman from the trial of former police officer Aaron Dean should be void because Gabriel refused to follow state law and Texas Court of Criminal Appeals rulings that both mandate that visiting retired judges file their oath of office with each new assignment. Filing an oath of office would pause retirement payments, based on Texas law, so the consti-

tutionally unqualified judges choose to put greed over jurisprudence. The overuse of visiting retired judges allows active judges to take days or weeks off work while still earning salaries far north of six figures. TAD has long-skirted public and media scrutiny. After two years of dogged reporting by this magazine, locals are showing up and speaking out against the appraisal district that sets property valuations that remain among the highest in the state. Just two weeks ago, hundreds of angry homeowners lined TAD’s Eastside headquarters. The public outrage wasn’t directed at soaring property taxes but rather the unprovoked attack on a local Realtor by high-ranking TAD staffers. Government transparency is at an alltime low. Our office fields regular complaints about delayed or blocked open records requests. Once lawyers with the state attorney general’s office rule that certain documents must be released under the Texas Public Information Act, the requestees have 10 days to release the documents. The county district attorney’s office recently sat on dozens of pages of emails for seven weeks after the AG’s office ordered the release of the emails to one of our reporters. Last fall and spring, city leaders failed to physically post Fort Worth City Council’s agenda as required under the Texas Open Meetings Act. In November, council slashed days for public comment in half — from four to five times per month to the first and third Tuesday meetings only. The recent overturning of the constitutional right to abortion has opened an

avenue for local government to arrest and prosecute mothers and doctors for procedures that were constitutionally protected for nearly 50 years until just weeks ago. Indicted State Attorney General Ken Paxton — who is facing disbarment for inciting rioters to attack the U.S. Capitol last January and for spreading lies about the 2020 presidential election — is urging district attorneys across the state to use old anti-abortion laws and a new so-called trigger law to prosecute abortion providers. The most recent anti-abortion law was passed by state leaders last year and makes performing an abortion a felony that could result in a life sentence. Tarrant County DA Sharen Wilson responded to the Supreme Court’s overturning of Roe v. Wade by stating that local prosecutors will “follow Texas state law” that criminalizes abortions. We reached out to Fort Worth police department to comment on how they will handle the pending criminalization of abortions in Texas. FWPD has “no opinion to offer on the matter,” a spokesperson told us. “FWPD is focused on providing quality service in partnership with our community to create a safe environment for all in accordance with our mission statement.” Through protests, livestreamed encounters with public officials, blogs, Facebook groups, and other grassroots efforts, conservatives, liberals, and folks of all political persuasions are rising up and speaking out against local government malfeasance, in no small part based on the award-winning journalism of our reporters. What’s missing from that activism is a comprehensive examination of those government groups that explains who is ripping off taxpayers and why. For the indefinite future, and until every lead is exhaustively investigated, this magazine will be exposing corrupt and self-serving government employees and public officials. Up first in our series will be Sheriff Bill Waybourn, Tarrant County’s family courts, and the district attorney’s office. l This column reflects the opinions of the editorial board and not the Fort Worth Weekly. To submit a column, please email Editor Anthony Mariani at Anthony@FWWeekly. com. Submissions will be edited for factuality, clarity, and concision.

Cour tesy of iStock

Static

The right does not care that the Bible says life begins with the first breath. What matters to these wackos is controlling women.

Debunking the Pro-Lie Party

Social media is a minefield of douchebags mansplaining the overturning of Roe v. Wade and why it’s somehow a good thing that women in this country have lost bodily autonomy. It’s enough to make Facebook scrolling a daily exercise in self-restraint. What good is calling out misogyny when millions of men in this country still worship a fat loser who is credibly accused of raping or sexually assaulting dozens of women? Hell, TFG bragged about sexually assaulting women to a Hollywood Access reporter in 2015. With no relief from idiotic comments coming anytime soon, we can at least debunk some of the more offensive responses from the pro-lie/-life keyboard warriors out there.

“Women Can Still Access Abortions Elsewhere” Not really, unless the teenagers and women are wealthy enough to take days off work and fly to another state. Geographically, women in South, Central, and East Texas are especially screwed. Colorado, New Mexico, and Illinois are the closest states that allow abortions. But, hey, the wealthy have always been insulated from problems like access to health care, underserved public schools, and corporate price gouging, um, we mean “inflation.” This column reflects the opinions of the editorial board and not the Fort Worth Weekly. To submit a column, please email Editor Anthony Mariani at Anthony@FWWeekly. com. Submissions will be gently edited for factuality, clarity, and concision.

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“The New Law Holds Women Accountable” Missing from the right’s ramblings about abortion is any mention of accountability for the men who father babies. The decades-long effort to overturn Roe has and will always be about one thing — controlling women. For all the anger Republicans voice about how we handled the military evacuation of Afghanistan, they sure do share a surprising number of values with the Taliban.

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“It’s God’s Will” Does the Bible mention when life begins? Absolutely, and it’s not at conception. Based on the Book of Genesis, life begins with the first breath. God “breathed into his nostrils the breath of life and it was then that the man became a living being.” This is one reason the Jewish faith is not particularly hung up on abortions. Even if the religious right could back up their rhetoric with Biblical quotes, it still shouldn’t dictate government policy. While this country certainly does not need a bigger wall between us and Mexico, we sure could use one between church and state.

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“Use Birth Control” Translation: If women would just use those little pills, there’d be nothing to complain about. This is easily the most popular statement proffered by the mouth-breathers in the comment sections of Facebook and other social media apps. The retort, as with anything coming from the right these days, assumes that women are the problem. “If they would only do X, then Y wouldn’t happen.” Women’s bodies react differently to birth control pills. For some, prophylactics can cause debilitating nausea and other serious side effects. Based on Planned Parenthood studies, the effectiveness of birth control pills falls around 91% even when women take them as directed. That means one in 10 women on birth control who are sexually active may become pregnant during any given year. The best solution: How about guys keep their peens in their pants? Ladies, a sex strike is still not out of the question.

That general feeling of suckiness? It’s here to stay. Take as much time — and totally not illegal cookie — as you need. A N T H O N Y

he puppy and I have the arms of the couch, with my wife and young son between us. Miles the tiny tortoise is asleep in his terrarium, the doors are locked, and the electric candles we bought for $9.88 a pop at At Home are on. (Stop. They’re less messy.) It’s time for Iron Chef. It’s always time for Iron Chef. It’s been time for Iron Chef — and Flea Market Flip and The Secret of Skinwalker Ranch and sports, even the college baseball World Series, a first — since about 2016, and no one’s talking about it. No one’s tried to answer the questions raging throughout our daily lives. No one’s offered a corrective. A commercial break coupled with my wife’s departure for the restroom allows me to doomscroll. For those of us of functioning gray matter and caring, unselfish heart, opening Twitter is kind of like asking to be kicked in the groin repeatedly. “Is the rare bit of good news worth suffering through the barrage of bad?” That’s what I always ask myself as I wind down that depressing highway despite the ban that my wife D. and I have instituted on doomscrolling during family time — we had to do something to A.) preserve our sanity and B.) help us focus on the moment, to be in the Now. Laugh it up, but the thing about self-enforcement is that it relies on the enforcer to possess an ounce of self-control. And all of my self-control right now is going toward the ounces of alcohol that I’m not consuming. Heading into Day 3 now. Not a drop. After a pretty serious stream of the stuff over the past few months. So, when is this totally not illegal edible going to kick in? My phone screen only reminds me that the state I live in with my mixed-race family (Black, white, and sort of a grayish sandpaper) is truly terrifying. A group of “educators” here now wants textbook authors to replace “slavery” with “involuntary relocation.” Conservatives are only doing this to

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keep their otherwise innocent children from feeling frowny face because their ancestors were racist, evil, profiteering trash. Part of being an autocrat involves changing the language of history and current events to suit the needs of the state, and along with banning books, Texas’ most recent attempt to bury its history — our history — beneath verbal legerdemain serves only one purpose: to divide us along racial lines, with the endgame being to erase everyone who is not white, straight, and Christian. I suplex my phone shut onto the end table behind my arm. The show’s coming back on anyway. I still can’t stop stewing. What Texas is doing in vicious increments — gerrymandering, making voting more difficult for people of color, wanting to teach “both sides” of the Holocaust, and now book banning and “involuntary relocation” — mirrors the national conservative movement, and it won’t stop until the United States is whiter, straighter, and more Christian than a Toby Keith concert. And I still don’t know how Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, and the rest of the do-nothing Dems are able to email me to donate to them (“URGENT!”) as often as they are when they clearly spend every minute of every day on this wondrous, dying

planet sleeping or digging in their gardens or trying out new recipes or whatever. Iron Chef is pissing me off, too. Now they’re just making up food. “You see here,” host Alton Brown says, “Sally is going to put a little bloopedyblap,” an orange crystal, “on her slaffertyfluff,” four blue discs, “to make a beautiful narninnynap.” This is bullshit. I’m battling with myself to keep my mouth shut. D. thinks I’ve been too “Pittsburgh” lately, her term for the kind of confrontational, exaggerated, rude behavior my hometown is known for. My reaction to her assessment is, “One dog goes one way, and the other goes the other, and I’m saying, ‘Whadda you want from me? The world’s about to end.’ ” I’m literally squeezing my lips together with my right hand to keep from going off. When’s this totally not illegal edible gonna kick in? I need to sneakily snag the other half of that totally not illegal cookie right quick …

It had been just a day or so since we finished our Fourth of July festivities, which, unlike previous Fourths in Marianiland, involved watching fireworks. We were on the fourth and top floor of a hotel a mile from home because our AC went out (yep) and had an

untrammeled view of downtown about 10 miles away. Sometimes we mistook the lights of cars traversing the serpentine overpasses twisting elegantly in the foreground for sky explosions, but maybe being able to stay up late enough to witness the display marked a changing point in our lives. Basically, we were all glad to get out of the house. Since the beginning of the COVID Era, it’s been us three and Miles, and even the recent addition of Comet, an adorable, aggressively teething mini-Aussie who won’t stop biting our heels, has not been able to temper the bitterness burning beneath the surface of our collective consciousness, a cruel sensation fueled by modern living itself — and modern death. The World Health Organization recently reported that the pandemic has triggered a 25% increase in anxiety and depression worldwide. Most of us Americans are worried about money, more money, “inflation” — which should actually read “corporate price gouging” — and the Russian invasion of Ukraine, according to a new poll from the American Psychological Association. Among my tribe, any little botheration can set us off. The other day at Target, the kid, A., requested some Pirate Booty, curicontinued on page 9

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ously, since he’s normally content with the baked Cheetos, salt-and-vinegar chips, and Cheeto Puffs squatting in crumpled piles in our pantry. Sure, wifey D. said. Here’s some Pirate Booty. And on the way home, we asked A. what he wanted for lunch. “Peanut butter and jelly, please.” “You can have chips with it,” D. informed him gayly from the passenger seat. “We have baked Cheetos, salt and vinegar, or Cheeto Puffs,” the brand of chip that Pirate Booty is openly ripping off. “Pirate Booty,” A. replied. “Please.” Silence. Really uncomfortable silence. There was no way D. could not have heard him. I swallowed my lips to keep from opening them and thus toppling the massive Jenga structure that constitutes the innerworkings of the three of us these days, my eyes on the road and my hands upon the wheel. “We have baked Cheetos, salt and vinegar, or Cheeto Puffs,” D. repeated. “Can I have Pirate Booty, please?” A. requested again. At this point, we were turning onto our driveway. I parked. D. silently exited the vehicle and went inside. A. silently exited the vehicle and went inside. I gingerly unloaded the groceries, fretting the prospect of yet an-

Anthony Mariani

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other high-volume, multi-person, tear-filled Mariani Meltdown ®. As my wife has said, it’s like the pandemic has turned our family into a burn victim’s body — even something as tiny as a mosquito bite hurts 10 times worse. I toted every reusable bag as if it were a megaton bomb. Everything seems harder these days. It took me nearly 10 tries and about 15 minutes to connect the soaker hose to our garden

hose to water the side of our house where the sprinklers are broken (yep) and the foundation is *sigh* separating (yep), and even then, that MFer still leaked. “Be thankful you have running water,” I hear you say. “Be thankful you have a house.” Right, OK. I should be thankful that the mountainous debt that D. and I accrued by earning three college degrees between the two of us and that our two steady, 90-hours-a-week jobs

have left us one paycheck away from living on the streets. Yeah. Sure. Thanks. I guess. Little pleasures have also turned sour. I wished a former employee a happy birthday the other day on Fakebook. No response. I’d heard a good friend who moved to Austin a few years ago beat cancer. I texted him a heartfelt message. He sent me a short, businesslike reply two days later. I just checked a text thread I’m on with my three best friends. I’d sent them five indisputably hilarious memes in a row. No response to any of them, not even a please-leave-me-alone thumbs-up. I’m walking 10,000 steps a day, doing 200 push-ups twice a week, doing lots of pull-ups, dips, and leg raises twice a week, and fasting 14 hours every night-into-day. Why? What’s the point? As my best buddy back home says (when he’s on speaking terms with me), “Last I heard, the cemetery takes skinny people, too.” Post-Target, the fam achieved normalcy without any talks or tears and with a handful of Pirate Booty for the boy. There was no apology in any direction. The felt but not witnessed infractions were too amorphous to hit us fully. Felt. That’s all they were, just more examples of the eldritch funk we’re all trapped in and have no avenue of escaping anytime soon. And, aside from packing up and moving to New Zealand, there is no end in sight. continued on page 10

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Our corrective-free domiciles may only be reflections of that funk, permeating the globe, infecting everyone and everything it touches. We Fort Worthians certainly can’t escape it. Our county district attorney plans on enforcing the new abortion ban, our sheriff ’s department has turned our jail into a Bond villain’s experiment, and our Tarrant Regional Water District operates like a treehouse club. The bad news coming out of Austin is arguably even worse. Along with the abortion ban, Gov. Greg Abbott and his sick, anti-Christian cronies in the state legislature have made voting even harder for people of color and have guaranteed us that more gun violence is in our future. Over the past 13 years, Texas has seen eight mass shootings, including most recently at an elementary school in Uvalde, and in that time, GOP lawmakers have loosened gun restrictions. Not tightened. Loosened. The real Upside Down is this state. And we’re living in it without any telekinetic teenager to save us. Being a resident of someplace that also boasts crappy schools, shoddy infrastructure, a super-low life expectancy, no public accommodation law to protect against discrimination, and an electricity grid that’s less reliable than my debit card wears a body down, no matter how many push-ups and dips it does or how many Michelob Ultras it does or doesn’t drink. Trapped in a terrible state in a country that’s equally unbearable doesn’t help. Don’t blame the Democrats. They’re too busy perma-campaigning (“Remember to vote harder this year!”) to actually pass anything via Congress or executive order that would move the needle to the left or right for any longer than a minute. The real culprits are six robed, fork-tongued partisans now whining about their personal privacy at fancy D.C. steakhouses after recently demolishing personal privacy for every woman from sea to shining sea. In response to allowing us to be minority-ruled by a corrupt, illegal, openly partisan Supreme Court, the people with the power to do something about it are so busy kissing up to undecided voters that we are going to wake up one day soon in 1952. In multiple polls, “swing” voters, who may not be completely illiterate but are probably really close to it, claim they will vote GOP in November to pay less at the pump and the grocery store, not even realizing that Republican lawmakers have absolutely zero plan for either. Correction: They have a plan, and that’s voting against putting an end to corporate price gouging. “Swing” voters are suckers — uninquisitive, selfish dupes, the kinds of people who wouldn’t dial 911 if their neighbor’s

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house was on fire (“not my problem”) — and it seems that Republicans are the only ones who know this. The Dems’ plan is what you would expect at this late stage of the collapse: sit back, dine on some Brazilian-Japanese Amazon lámen, listen to some All Things Considered, watch some Rachel, and criticize progressives. November is going to be even worse than we people with hearts and minds think it is. That’s for those of us who haven’t had the air sucked from our bodies by a frightening virus at that point. Looking at R0 value, or essentially the rate of transmissibility, the original COVID was 3.3, meaning that every infected person infected 3.3. others. Millions still died. The new COVID subvariants have an R0 of 18.6, so its transmissibility has jumped from a meager but still deadly 3.3 to an unconscionable, Thanos-caliber 18.6. It’s sad that masks are so 2020. Everyone knows the hottest new accessory for fashionable fascists is an iron lung. #tyranny So, yes, we’re all a little on edge. People are carrying on — maskless and in large groups — like normal while democracy circles the drain and Republican-led state legislators are rolling up their sleeves to be able to hoist up our votes and throw them right out the window. Stuffing our heads with warm, low-stakes reality TV and totally not illegal space cookies is about all we can do to keep from losing it. Cheersing my sad kombucha to that now.

The theme of this episode of Iron Chef is tailgating. There are two teams. One has an continued on page 11

SHOP TCU PRESS FOR

Iron Chef on it, and the other, the challenger, does not. Appropriately, there’s a former NFL player on each team. Both men are large and Black. They are being coached, respectively, by a short Asian woman among a trio of short Asian women and a slender African guy backed by some tatted-up brobros. The players are really grinding. I want both of them to win. I want everyone to win. Kitchen Stadium is beautiful. I wish I could live there. In Kitchen Stadium, there is no racism, no sexism, no inequality, no politics. In Kitchen Stadium, there is no violence, no white supremacist masquerading as a talking head on TV, no in-laws and parents lapping up every word like cheap beer at Chili’s. Kitchen Stadium is just you, your talent, your best friends, and food. Delicious food. There for the judging. There for the nourishment of the eyes, the belly, and the soul. I’m starting to tear up. I stand. “Potty break for Dad,” I whimper. I simply can’t be seen weeping in front of my family, especially my son, who does not think I’m cool, at all, but cowers from me when I go to squish him — that’s when I throw him on the bed and unload all 210 pounds of me on top of him while he giggles uncontrollably and pleads for help that will never come. I will always remain uncool to him because I am uncool — I’m an insecure, introverted nerd — so the best that I can hope for is that I seem overpowering. I will worry whether I’m still overpowering to him once he’s a foot or more taller than me when the time comes, not now. Big, stupid, and scary’s all I got. You know, this totally not illegal edible can kick in anytime now … Trying to keep myself together in the library, a.k.a. the restroom, I opt for a distraction. Instead of doomscrolling, I cruise

continued on page 12

www.tamupress.com/consortium/tcu-press/

become BFFs

sprinkler

It’s time for a better relationship with your sprinkler system. Learn how to program it so it only waters up to twice a week – even in the heat of the summer. Make sure it doesn’t run too long and send water into the street. And turn the sprinklers oﬀ if it’s going to rain. You and your sprinkler system, working together to keep the towers full.

WaterIsAwesome.com

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continued from page 10

S H O P O NLI NE AT:

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Feature

to Safari. Searching “Texas involuntary relocation slavery” brings a solid page of worthwhile hits. Near the top, the Texas Tribune says, “State education board members push back on proposal to use ‘involuntary relocation’ to describe slavery.” “State education board members push back” against racism? In Texas? I check the URL to make sure I’m where the internet tells me I am. Quelle surprise. The Texas Board of Education is indeed rejecting the use of “involuntary relocation” for “slavery.” The reason this vile, intentionally misleading phrase has even come up is that the state is updating social studies curriculum in Texas’ 8,866 public schools, which happens about once every 10 years, and a group of “educators” offered up the “involuntary relocation” doublespeak. In an interview with the Tribune, board member Aicha Davis said the phrase is not a “fair representation” of the slave trade. “I can’t say what [the educators’] intention was, but [‘involuntary relocation’ is] not going to be acceptable,” said the Democrat who represents Fort Worth and Dallas. Along with her eight fellow board members, Davis sent the working draft back to the “educators.” The story also says that it was only 2015 when a Texas textbook referred to slaves as “workers.” “Babe!” It’s my wife D., beckoning me from the family room. “One minute!” I cry, sliding my phone back into my pocket and checking my look in the mirror. Not soggy, not bloodshot eyes. OK. “Babe?!” I’m fully aware of what’s up. “Coming!” I yelp. It’s judgment time. Allez cuisine!

YOUR LOCAL “INDIE” BOOKSTORE, SINCE 1947

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Anthony Mariani

GREAT SUMMER READS!

Feature

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Over the past few months, I’ve done my research (on the toilet). I know what I have to do to keep my two biggest fears — the deterioration of my family’s bond and the death of democracy — from becoming reality. For mia famiglia, it’s pretty simple. Put the phone down, work only during working hours, which will free up time for spreading my physical presence all over our lovely little abode like a hairy, belching fairy, and be present, actively present. Use your eyes, use your touch, use your mouth to let your loved ones know you exist in their ambit. Be kind. Touch kindly. Communicate kindly. Did you sleep well? How’s your day going? How are you feeling? Can I help you with anything? Would you like to join me in a shot of Kraken every time the guys on Skinwalker Ranch say “phenomenon,” “anomaly,” or “UAP”? (Haha. No one needs to get that loaded.) Reinforcing that familial bond sounds truly enjoyable. Tonight, it starts with Iron Chef. Tomorrow, it will be tossing the baseball with A. out back before we melt or cooking with D. (Allez grilled cheese!) From my meager experience with being actively present so far, I can say that watching the world end tweet by tweet doesn’t slow down or stop the damage. Life is still going to be terrible whether Robert Reich says it is or not. To keep the motherland from transforming into a Christian autocracy over the next couple of months, we have some options, and not all of them are only symbolic (though most of them are). March at rallies. Sure. Write angry columns. Doing that right now. Vote. OK. Vote harder. We’ll see. Live life. Now, there’s a good one. And I agree. Mask up and go to a super-loud rock show at Lola’s or MASS, go to the museums and galleries, eat that extra slice of Italian sausage, mushroom, and green peppers, run that extra three-quarters of a mile, smash that snooze button a couple more times, throw the tennis ball with that puppy a few more times. Each of us, live deliciously, and maybe we’ll become the nation we want. Ensuring my family’s bond stays strong is part of the reason I started taking “holidays” from drinking. My primary goal is to stay healthy. I have to keep pulling those disappointing blue levers every election, and I need to be around to see my son off to adulthood in about eight years. As sweet as he is, he’s not like other kids. The preverbal trauma from his abandonment in a third-world orphanage resides deep in his amygdala, meaning our Black adopted son in white America will always have his fight, flight, or freeze response triggered more easily than that of non-abandoned children.

He also will always have a quicker pulse than them, and he will always suffer from an overwhelming, unidentifiable sense of loss, which can manifest itself in all sorts of fun behaviors like addiction and depression. Neither D. nor I can do parenthood alone, and neither of us wants to. I can only hope my body agrees to cooperate. There’s no controlling that buffoon. The thought is that if I lessen the booze intake now, I might be able to hang around a few years longer, which — like my kombucha — is just peachy. I really can’t quit anything else. I don’t smoke, I don’t do fast food, don’t do sweets, and I keep the red meat to a minimum. Nursing a couple of Ultras or Nexts before dinner and maybe enjoying a little sip of mid-shelf rum afterward, that’s my bag. Keeping the booze under control might mean I’ll be able to see A. graduate college or enlist in the U.S. Army. Or survive a routine traffic stop. The possibilities are endless.

Back in Kitchen Stadium, the team of small Asian ladies has emerged victorious. The four little chefs attack-hug their large expro baller, who, tilting his head back and screaming joyously, embraces them, all of them, at the same time. “Is that their dad?” my young son asks sincerely, his eyes focused squarely on the TV screen. I chuckle. Is that their dad? No, I’m thinking to myself. Don’t be ridiculous, little dude. Is that their dad? I mean, he’s a … and they’re all … My chuckle turns into a laugh. Is that their dad? Asked by a sweet, innocent child whose parents also don’t look like him, the question could be profound. No. No. It’s just funny. Like, way funnier than it should be. My laugh has grown steady now, a rocket that’s been launched. There’s no going back. I’m cracking up. Is that their dad? I’m getting louder, rowdier. My sides hurt. I slink off the couch and onto the floor. My voice has to be piercing our four walls and entering into the local atmospheres. The puppy is running around me like crazy. My wife and son are gravely concerned. Tears are running down my cheeks. Is that their dad? Whatever it is that’s in those totally not illegal cookies I bought at the gas station apparently does nothing really well. I think I’ll be OK. I think we all will be. Here or in New Zealand but hopefully here. l This column reflects the opinions of the editorial board and not the Fort Worth Weekly. To submit a column of your own, please email Editor Anthony Mariani at Anthony@FWWeekly.com. Submissions will be gently edited for factuality, clarity, and concision.

CLOSING JULY 31, 2022 Promotional support provided by

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The Kimbell Art Museum is supported in part by Arts Fort Worth, the Texas Commission on the Arts, and the National Endowment for the Arts.

FINAL WEEKS

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This exhibition was organized by The Art Institute of Chicago.

Cour tesy Theatre Arlington

NIGHT&DAY

Black Comedy runs thru Sun, Jul 31, at Theatre Arlington.

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The annual Rockin’ the River concert series on the beach at Panther Island PaThursday vilion (395 Purcey St, 817698-0700) kicks off this evening at 5pm, featuring Dallas’ Texas Gentlemen with Fort Worthians Bubba Bellin and Ginny Mac.

You can watch from the shore or float in the river. You can rent tubes and rafts, or you can bring your own. Food and drinks are available for purchase. See other Texas Music acts 5pm-10pm every Thursday thru Aug 11. This event is free to attend, but VIP options are also available at RockintheRiverFW.com.

Theatre Arlington (305 W Main St, 817-275-7661) presents Black Comedy Friday by Peter Shaffer at 7:30pm Thu-Sat and 2pm Sun tonight thru Sun, Jul 31. A lovesick, desperate sculptor “borrows” fancy furniture and artworks from his absent neighbor, hoping to impress his fiancee’s pompous father, but when the neighbor returns as the apartment is plunged into darkness (sound familiar, ERCOT?), “unexpected guests, aging spinsters, errant phone cords, and other snares” impede the sculp-

tor’s “frantic attempts” to return the purloined items before the lights come back on. Black Comedy is appropriate for ages 13 and up. Tickets are $29 at TheatreArlington.org.

Rumor has it that the Mighty Beefcake himself, Casey Orr, will be in attenSaturday dance at the 7:30pm screening of a documentary about his band GWAR at Alamo Drafthouse Los Colinas (320 W Las Colinas Blvd, Ste A2, Irving, 214-252continued on page 15

If you love to sing and think you’d like to give a cappella a try, head to Irving ArMonday chives & Museum (801 W Irving Blvd, 972-721-3700) at 6:30pm for the final event of the Broadway Summer Series presented by Texas Harmony. You will learn to sing songs from Aquarius, Mamma Mia, New York, New York, and more at this free workshop.

This Is GWAR screens in Los Colinas Saturday.

Night & Day

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7550). This Is GWAR “takes a peek behind the curtain to the cast of players at the center of this universe and showcases the undying spirit of outsider art triumphing in a commercial world.” Tickets are $14.50 at Drafthouse.com.

Rock N Roll Rummage Sale is always the third Sunday of the month at LoSunday la’s (2000 W Berry St, 817759-9100) from noon to 6pm. More than 40 local vendors will be peddling antiques, art, books, collectibles, jewelry, oddities, retro items, vintage finds, and more. There also will be food for sale. Admission is free.

AleXa, the K-pop artist known for her single “Wonderland” featured on the Tuesday television show American Song Contest, is doing a special appearance and live Q&A called AleXa into Wonderland 7pm-9pm in the Grand Ballroom at Asia Times Square (2625 W Pioneer Pky, Grand Prairie, 972-975-5100). All ticketholders are entered for a chance to “hitouch” with AleXa or win a signed poster. Tickets are $25 at AsiaTimeSquare.com/ Events/AleXa.

Cour tesy Facebook

Cour tesy Alamo Draf thouse

Meet AleXa of American Song Contest fame at Asia Times Square in Grand Prairie Tuesday.

On the third Wednesday of every month at 6pm, join Wednesday the nonprofit OUTreach Denton (@OUTreachDenton) for the LGBTQIA+ Adult Social at Harvest House (331 E Hickory St, Denton, 940-218-6148) in celebration of the community. All identities and allies are welcome.

Both alcoholic and nonalcoholic drinks are available for purchase. This event is for all ages thru 8pm.

By Jennifer Bovee

TEXRail | Bus | TRE

ZIPZONE

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TRINITY METRO

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TRIMMED MUSTACHES

EATS & drinks Good Fry Day

The fried bird at Helen’s Hot Chicken is worth the little niggles. Helen’s Hot Chicken, 2812 Horne St, FW. 682255-5405. 11am-5pm Sun, 11am-7pm Mon-Sat. S T O R Y A N D P H O T O S B Y K R I S T I A N L I N

My first visit to Helen’s Hot Chicken could not have started less promisingly. The second location of an eatery whose original spot is in Lewisville, the new fried chicken joint off Camp Bowie Boulevard has an anonymous interior that looks like every other fast-food place, with the pictures of fried bird on the walls being the only clue as to what the kitchen serves. That didn’t bother me so much. What did was the sign

The chicken with waffles is a stellar brunch item at Helen’s Hot Chicken.

on the soda machine saying that it was out of order and not even dispensing ice. It was scant consolation that there was no tea available, since there was no ice to put in it. (What is it with me and restaurants without beverages lately?)

Hydration was an even bigger issue than usual on the Saturday afternoon that I arrived, because the air conditioning in the dining room was out. The fans in the kitchen were blowing out toward the seating area, which kept things just this side of bearable,

HELENSHOTCHICKENTX.COM | 2812 HORNE ST FWTX | 682-255-5405

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Home of Nashville Style Chicken in Texas

but the warmth made me need the canned sodas and bottled water in the refrigerator case even more. When I switched from the Diet Pepsi to the water, anticipating the sweet part of my meal, I had to pay extra

SERVING CHICKEN WINGS, CATFISH, SHRIMP AND LOBSTER TAILS....ALL SOUTHERN FRIED!

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IN YOUR CHOICE OF MILD, HOT AND HELLA HOT!

Eats & Drinks

Helen’s Hot Chicken Chicken and waffles .................................. $11.99 Fried shrimp (6) .......................................... $7.99 Lobster tail ................................................. $12.99

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up under the syrup and fat. Had I taken it home, it would have survived the trip well after I got there and put my own maple syrup on it.

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APPROVED THAI RESTAURANTS IN FW!

was given. I could have done with real maple syrup instead of the sugar syrup that they gave me, but the waffle, which was practically a cookie on the outside, more than held

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FIRST BLUE ZONES

(Clockwise from top left) A lobster tail, a cup of baked beans, and fried shrimp make up an improvised seafood platter.

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for it. Not that my employers at the Weekly will see it on the receipt, because the register won’t give out paper receipts, something that may or may not be an inconvenience to you. I cared less about all this because I had overslept and was very hungry. I came to Helen’s for the chicken and waffles that they serve only on Saturdays and Sundays. A sign behind the counter told me that all food was made to order, so I could expect a 15-minute wait for my late brunch. I appreciated the advance word, but I was still thinking that the chicken and waffles had better be worth all the trouble. I ordered three whole wings (flat, drumette, and tip), and, yeah, it turned out to be well worth it. The kitchen offers four levels of spice in the coating, from Plain to Hella Hot. I asked for mild, which turned out to be just right for me because I like to taste my food rather than have my tongue scorched off. The bird was not overly greasy on the outside and properly juicy on the inside, and the spices didn’t rub off on my fingers. The waffle was slipped into the fryer for a few seconds to make it really crispy — too much so, in fact, for the flimsy plastic silverware that I

I went back a second time to try their seafood, by which time the air-conditioning issue had been fixed. I ordered six fried shrimp with mild seasoning and a deepfried lobster tail plain. Let’s just say you’re not going to find fried lobster tail at Long John Silver’s, and by itself, it’s $12.99. (A seafood platter with the lobster, four shrimp, and a catfish or whiting filet goes for $20.99, which likely makes a more substantial and more economical dinner.) It came with an extra shrimp hidden in the curl of the tail, so score one of life’s little victories for me. Both the lobster and the shrimp were good without being spectacular, and I did find the $2.09 side of baked beans overpriced for its size, although they were tasty. I asked about the soda machine and was told that they anticipated it working again in three weeks. As I write this, that was two weeks ago. As soon as I can draw my fill of iced tea at Helen’s Hot Chicken, I’m going to keep it in mind for when I crave chicken and waffles on the weekend. While I don’t usually like taking food home, I think the fried chicken here will make an excellent takeout dinner. If the place becomes a bit more user-friendly, I’ll be able to recommend it wholeheartedly. l

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D R I NeK of th Month

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ry Tues $2 oFF eve

Happy Hour Mon - Fri

Dollar Off Beers | $8 Drink of the Day

THE SMOKING BANANA GUN!

CREAMY, SMOKY, BANANA-Y

10%Mondays oFF To-G o C oCkTails! and Tuesdays eekniGHT s peCials WMonday - Thursday

1 1 7 S M a i n S t • Fo r t W o r t h

1.) Every Sunday thru year-end, Texas Republic Bar & Kitchen (945 Foch St, 817887-9797) hosts Sunday Service: Rooftop Buffet & Party from noon to 4pm. (Until things cool off, the party is indoors where the cold AC lives.) Enjoy DJ music, a mimosa, and the brunch buffet featuring 30 items for $20 per person (gratuity not included). Add a Bloody Mary or michelada for $5 more or enjoy bottomless mimosas for $12.

5.) Did you miss the Parker County Peach Festival? Never fear. Jabo’s Ace Hardware Westcliff (548 South Hills Av, 817-9261789) can help. From 2pm to 5pm Tue, stop by the store for Peach Fest, featuring peach-themed cocktails, grilling demonstrations, freeze-dried ice cream, and deals on peach-related items. “Come dressed in your peachiest attire, and one lucky fashionista will win a $50 Jabo’s Ace gift card!” Entrants must wear at least one peach-themed item, and Jabo’s will draw the winner at random at the end of the event. You do not have to stay to win. This event will also be a pickup location for The Peach Truck. Reserve your

6.) The gang at Your Mom’s House (3005 Bledsoe St, 817-386-0972) is gearing up for back-to-school a little early with its West 7th Spelling Bee at 9pm Wed, Jul 20. “Make Mom proud and show off them spelling skills for a chance to win $500 cash!” There is no cost to attend. 7.) For its July Drag Show, The Shot Cellar (931 Foch St, 817-386-3561) is going for a 2000s theme, featuring a special cocktail menu and the usual beers, seltzers, and shots on Thu, Jul 21. The show doesn’t start until 10:30pm, but seating is limited, so you’ll want to arrive early. There is no cost to attend. 8.) In celebration of its fourth anniversary in Fort Worth, Kung Fu Saloon (2818 Morton St, 817-873-8900) presents the Halfway to Christmas party from 11am to closing on Sat, Jul 23. “We’re transforming the bar into a winter wonderland!” There will be presents under the tree, photos with Bad Santa, DJ music, and more. Christmas attire is strongly encouraged. There is no cost to attend.

By Jennifer Bovee

fwweekly.com

peaches at ThePeachTruck.com and select Jabo’s Ace as the pickup spot.

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4.) Fort Worth folks in need can also visit a drive-thru mobile food pantry this week. On the third Monday of the month, Tarrant Area Food Bank hosts a Food Distribution Day from 8am to noon at the Fort Worth Veterans Affairs Clinic (2201 SE Loop 820, 817-730-0000). Simply bring your own bags or boxes and take home groceries from the walk-up area.

The Peach Truck will be at Jabo’s Ace Hardware Tuesday.

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3.) On the third Friday of every month from January thru October, Arlington Charities hosts a Mobile Food Market at Tarrant County College Southeast Campus (2100 Southeast Pkwy, Lot H, Arlington, 817515-8223). All guests — not just Arlington and Tarrant County residents — will receive free supplemental groceries, including baked goods, dairy, fruit, produce, protein, shelf-stable items, and more. No appointment is needed, but it is first-come, firstserved 11am-1pm Fri while supplies last. As a COVID-19 safety protocol, you are asked to wear a mask, stay in your vehicle, and simply pop the trunk. Volunteers will load the groceries for you.

C o u r t e s y T h e P e a c h Tr u c k

2.) Located inside Northside Remedy (215 N Main St, Weatherford, 817-550-6041), The Grove serves gourmet brunch options 10am-2pm Fri-Sat and 10am-3pm Sun. This Sunday, brunch includes live entertainment. Hear some Americana tunes by Texas musician DeAnna Wendolyn while you dine. See menu items at GroveBrewCo.com.

MUSIC LOCATED IN THE FORT WORTH STOCKYARDS HISTORIC MULE ALLEY

10/26

Gov’t Mule

Black Tie Dynasty

After years of exasperation, loss, and a lot of patience, these sensual, beloved synth rockers have finally returned. B Y

11/25

11/27

H I G G I N S

In the mid-aughts, Fort Worth’s Black Tie Dynasty was one of the most popular North Texas bands around. Their blend of pulsing rhythms, slinky guitar lines, and hooky electroclash, along with singer/guitarist Cory Watson’s enthralling, emotive yawl, saw the band quickly snapped up by Dallas’ Idol Records and sent out on tours supporting the likes of Guided by Voices and Spoon. Their comet-like rise would flash brightly and then soon fade, however, as the group disbanded in 2008, just six years after forming, leaving fans starved of their danceable, synth-heavy brand of rock. Some fans will now have a chance to have their decade-long hunger satisfied. On Saturday, Black Tie Dynasty will take the stage in their hometown for the first time in more than 12 years. It’s a return years in the making. Shortly after the release of their second LP, Down Like Anyone, frustrated with newfound pres-

Pat Green

continued on page 21

AND MORE! FOR MORE INFORMATION, VISIT WWW.TANNAHILLS.COM FOLLOW US AT @TANNAHILLSTAVERN

Cour tesy Black Tie Dynasty

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Giovannie and the Hired Guns

P A T R I C K

sures and expectations, Watson dissolved Black Tie and relocated to Brooklyn. He explained his feelings at the time and his decision this way. “Going through the writing [of Down Like Anyone], we were just having some creative differences,” he said. “We truly, truly cared about each other, really loved each other. Things just became a little more complicated. It became a bit of a chore to do shows and to some degree to [try to] live up to the success of our first LP. It was an exciting time, but it was also fraught with tension. Eventually, the responsibility of being in the band just wasn’t a super-fun time anymore, and I just decided I had to get out of it.” For a short time after the band’s dissolution, Watson would still collaborate with Black Tie keyboardist Brian McCorquodale, remotely from New York, in the project Mon Julien, which would at times include Mark Pirro of Tripping Daisy and Polyphonic Spree and Midlake’s McKenzie Smith. After living in New York for a while and a brief stint in Thailand, Watson moved back home. He soon reconnected with McCorquodale and the other two former BTD members, bassist Blake McWhorter and drummer Eddie Thomas. Eventually, the idea to play together again began to bubble up. “The idea of playing again was always there,” Watson said. “I think I missed it almost immediately. It was just such a big part of my life. Even though I was still writing music, and that was exciting because it was new and different, a part of my heart was still with the band.” After rekindling their friendship, the foursome planned a “reunion” show for the spring of 2020. As with so much else, the pandemic stole that chance, and the show was canceled just two weeks before the planned date. Tragically, it was a missed opportunity to see all four founding members of Black Tie play together again. Drummer Thomas, a fixture in the North Texas music scene who played in several bands beyond BTD, including The Crash That Took Me and

Patience has paid off. After a slew of tragedies, Black Tie Dynasty has finally returned home.

Music

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Go Imperial, would succumb to COVID-19 himself in December of that same year, immunocompromised as he was from a long battle with glioblastoma, an aggressive brain tumor. “It was super-sad for us,” Watson said. “It totally rocked us. He was the real center of the band — from a personality standpoint, from a musician standpoint. We just called him ‘Steady Eddie.’ He was the steady force behind the drums that made the engine go.” After an initial attempt at a reunion last November was thwarted again by COVID, this time due to the “second-wave” surge of last fall, with drummer Mike Ratliff (Calhoun, The Machines Are Winning) filling in for Thomas, Black Tie Would finally reunite in February of this year, playing a tribute show dedicated to their late drummer which also featured several of the other acts Thomas had contributed to. That tribute show was initially supposed to be a one-off. Then something Watson could only describe as “spiritual” happened. “I had a dream where I spoke to Eddie,” Watson recalled, a hint of emotion in his voice. “I’d never had a dream like this in my life, but it was super-real, and I feel like I was really connecting with him in a spiritual way. I knew that he was at peace and he was happy and in a good place.” Watson keeps the specifics of the exchange in the dream appropriately to himself, but he went on to describe what happened next when he told the rest of the band about the experience. “I told the guys about it, and through those conversations, it just came out that we need to do this again,” Watson said. “We have to make music again. It’s what makes us happy. Eddie would have wanted us to keep playing the music that made him so happy and brought him so much joy and even helped him through his fight [with cancer]. It just made us realize how much we love each other and how much we need to play together.” Black Tie’s live shows have always been captivating, high-energy affairs, and attendees at this weekend’s show at Tulips FTW are no doubt in for an experience that will be well worth the 12-year wait, but new shows aren’t the only thing fans can expect from the band in the near future. They’re even working on new music. In fact, they have studio time booked in September. “We have tons of musical ideas,” Watson beamed. “We’re doing a lot of experimenting, creating sounds. We have all of these new toys to play with, and there’s this perspective that I’ve gained. If I’m honest through the songwriting process and the creative process, I think it can lead us into some spaces we’ve never explored before, which is super-exciting. I’m so excited for us to work through it and for our fans to experience it. And maybe by getting to listen to that new music, they can feel like they’ve been a part of this journey, too.” l

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GARAGE SALE July 23 9am

( F o r m e r ly The Ti n Pa n th e r)

937 Woodward St. 76107

RIDGLE A THE ATER

FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY

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BFF MUSIC AND LAUGHTER: SAT 7/30 K BROSAS & POKWANG

FRI 9/2 POLYPHIA WITH UNPROCESSED & DEATH TOUR

RIDGLE A ROOM

SAT NOISEROT PRESENTS: 7/16 REIGN + DISPOSITIONS SAT N E A R M I R R O R , 7/23 ATLAS PERSONALITY, MOTHER GNOME SAT GIFTED SUMMER 7/30 FEST 2022 FRI 8/5

TORCHFEST DAY 1 RIDGLE A LOUNGE THE OUTWORLD TOUR

SUN 7/17 FEAT. WORTHY OF THE CROWN / RVRS

SOLUTIONS PRESENTS: FRI 7/29 INSTRUMUSIC WONDERLAND, BEYOND DESTINY & MORE!

FRI 8/5 TORCHFEST DAY 1 SAT 8/6 TORCHFEST DAY 2 ROCK NIGHT FT. FLASH MOB,

SAT 8/13 BEYOND DESTINY, MATT AND THE DIRTY SOULS & MORE!

C o u r te s y J a m e s M c M u r t r y. c o m

Hearsay

Celebrated singer-songwriter James McMurtry will bring his wry tales of American life to Magnolia Motor Lounge on Thursday.

Buck, Meet Bang

Other shows of note this week: Celebrated singer-songwriter James McMurtry will bring his wry tales of American life to Magnolia Motor Lounge (3005 Morton St, 817-332-3344) on Thu, with New Braunfels-born troubadour Jonny Burke opening, and doors to the show are at 7pm. Side note: McMurtry’s most recent album, 2021’s The Horses and the Hounds, is pretty darn good. This show will be a good one. On Friday night at MASS (1002 S Main St, 682-707-7774), the bill is heavy on industrial music. Why am I recommending this in the same paragraph as a literary, storied, venerable Americana artist? Because one of my favorite albums of all time is The Crow soundtrack, that’s why. Put on by a promo label called Distorted Heartbeat Productions, the show features Stoneburner, Apparatus, CHANT, Terrorvoid Complex, and DJ Joe Virus. There’s also the Black Tie Dynasty show at Tulips FTW (112 St Louis Av, 817367-9798) on Saturday (see: Music story), and it looks like you can still get GA tickets to it, in case you slept on them when the show was announced months ago. Finally, if the price of rent has cut your going-out budget, Wayne Floyd’s biweekly Weird and Wild Waynesday songwriter showcase at MASS is on Wed, Jul 13, as well, and in terms of bang for buck, those shows are always full of unpredictable fun and surprise guests and are also totally free. I have yet to hear of an artist covering Rebecca Black, but you never know what’ll happen at those things. — Steve Steward

After reading another depressing article about the ever-climbing cost of rent (this one was a Buzzfeed list, and the act of reading that particular content format compounded the depressing feeling), I got to thinking about how “more bang for your buck” is now more of a determining factor in consumer choice than ever, meaning that massive festivals with an exhausting number of acts written in the small font beneath the headliners are probably more appealing than they have any right to be. I don’t understand how the thousands of small-font bands got paid playing the So What?! Fest — held back in May at Choctaw Stadium in Arlington, featuring headliners like Sum 41, Hatebreed, and Rebecca “Friday” Black, of all people —but I guess if you forked over the $99 for a ticket to that thing, you ostensibly got your money’s worth. I’m pretty cheap, so I did not fork over any money for that thing, but, in practice, I am indeed a fan of lots of performers on a bill for a reasonable price. This is a long way of saying that local comedian Brian Breckenridge is headlining a show at Addison Improv (4950 Beltline Rd, Ste 250, 972404-8501) on Wed, Jul 13, that showcases six other up-and-coming comedians, and the general admission price is essentially $5 a person, built into a $10 table for two, $20 table for four, and $30 table for six. Before Breckenridge takes the stage, catch sets from Paulos Feerow, David Diaz, Vinnie Corales, Kyle Roberts, Emily Grefer, and CJ Landry. Tickets are available at the door or ImprovTx.com/Addison. Contact HearSay at Anthony@FWWeekly.com.

J&J Oyster Bar Work where you are appreciated. 612 University FWTX. Call today! 817-367-9791 EMPLOYMENT NOTICES Companies Offering Travel Accommodations: According to the New York Times, the following companies have said they would cover travel expenses for employees who need abortions: Airbnb, DoorDash, JP Morgan Chase, Levi Strauss & Co, Netflix, Patagonia, Reddit, Starbucks, Tesla, and Yelp. Additionally, NowThis has listed the following companies also offering the same assistance to employees: Amazon, Apple, BuzzFeed, Citigroup, Comcast, Dick’s Sporting Goods, Lyft, Mastercard, Meta, Microsoft, Paramount, Sony, Tesla, Walt Disney Co, Vox Media, and Zillow. (JMB, FWW) HEALTH & WELLNESS Cardiovascular Disease & Stroke These are leading causes of death, according to the American Heart Association. Screenings can provide peace of mind or early detection! Contact Life Line Screening to schedule your screening. Special Offer: 5 Screenings for $149! Call today! 1-833-636-1757 DENTAL INSURANCE 1-888-361-7095 Physicians Mutual Insurance Company covers 350 plus procedures. Real dental insurance - NOT just a discount plan. Do not wait! Call now! Get your FREE Dental Information Kit with all the details! Call or visit Dental50plus.com/fortworth (#6258). Planned Parenthood Of Greater Texas We’re not going anywhere. We know you may be feeling a lot of things right now, but we are here with you and we will not stop fighting for YOU. See 6 ways you can join the #BansOffOurBodies fight on FB @ PPGreaterTX. For more info, go to: PPGreaterTX.org

OREGON From Mt Hood to the Oregon Coast, Explore Oregon with the official tourism at: TravelOregon.com

Hannah in Hurst 817.590.2257 Massage Therapy for pain relief, deep relaxation, and better sleep. Professional office in Mid-Cities for over 25 years. “I am accepting new clients now and happy to return your call.” -Hannah, MT#4797. MasseuseToTheStars.com

MARYLAND If you thought Maryland was just battlefields and Old Bay, think again! VisitMaryland.org

MUSIC XCHANGE Music Junkie Studios 1617 Park Place #106, FWTX www.MusicJunkieStudios.com We offer lessons on voice, piano, guitar, bass, ukulele, violin, viola, drums, recording, and music for littles!

MINNESOTA MN is the place for extraordinary, eye-opening adventures likr camping under the stars in a Dark Sky Sanctuary. More at: ExploreMinnesota.com

PUBLIC NOTICES TDLR Complaints Any Texans who may be concerned that an unlicensed massage business may be in operation near them, or believe nail salon employees may be human trafficking victims, may now report those concerns directly to the Texas Department of Licensing and Regulation (TDLR) by emailing ReportHT@TDLR.Texas.gov. SUBMISSIONS We’d Like To Hear From You! Do you have thoughts and feelings, or questions, comments or concerns about something you read in the Weekly? Please email Question@ fwweekly.com. Do you have an upcoming event? For potential coverage in Night & Day, Big Ticket, Ate Day8 A Week, or CrosstownSounds, email the details to Marketing@fwweekly.com TOURISM CALIFORNIA From its celebrated coastline to its broad heartland and granite Sierra peaks, CA offers a lifetime of vacations in one Golden State. CaliforniaTouristGuide.com CONNECTICUT Great shopping, dining, casinos, Mystic maritime fun in CT, the southernmost New England state. More at: VisitConnecticut.com DELAWARE Explore the Great Outdoors with DE’s Scenic Drives, State Parks and More. Find Trip Ideas at: VisitDelaware.com ILLINOIS Places to go, things to do, the best places to eat and drink, must-see Chicago, trip ideas and inspiration for your travels at: EnjoyIllinois.com

GARAGE SALE J u ly 2 3 9am

MAINE Take the Guesswork Out of Planning Your Getaway at: VisitMaine.com

( F o r m e r ly T h e T i n Pa n t h e r )

9 3 7 W o o d wa r d S t. 7 6 1 0 7

MASSACHUSETTS Find countless fun things to do from Boston to The Berkshires at: VisitMA.com

NEW HAMPSHIRE NH is the perfect outdoor playground. Roll the windows down and explore scenic routes, walk around vibrant small towns and make unforgettable memories. VisitNH.gov NEW JERSEY NJ wows with 130 miles of shorelines and cities that pulse with exciting entertainment and culinary pleasures. Discover the Garden State. VisitNJ.org NEW MEXICO Visit New Mexico for a unique family vacation filled with exciting activities like skiing, hiking, shopping and sight seeing. NewMexico.org NEW YORK Explore all the state of New York has to offer including fun things to do, year-round events, festivals, and more. ILoveNY.com NEVADA Outdoor recreation, exciting events, and stories for days. Plan your next trip to Nevada. TravelNevada.com RHODE ISLAND RI is 400 miles of New England coastline, with beaches and freshfrom-the-ocean seafood. It’s also public art, charming villages, and more. VisitRhodeIsland.com VERMONT Our cities and towns welcome visitors with their rich history, eclectic shops, farm-to-table dining establishments, and recreation areas. VermontVacation.com WASHINGTON Emerge yourself with things to do in Washington from fishing, tours, volcanoes and more. StateOfWATourism.com

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EMPLOYMENT Hysen’s Nizza Pizza is Now Hiring! Nizza is seeking a counter person, delivery drivers, and wait staff. Apply in person at 401 University Drive, FWTX, 817-877-3900. (Open SunThu 11am-10pm and Fri-Sat 10:30am-11pm.) HysensNizzaPizza.com

MIND / BODY / SPIRIT Gateway Church Church time is the BEST time! Join us for online church each weekend. Online services start at 4 pm on Saturdays and are available to watch any time after at https://gway. ch/GatewayPeople.

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WE HAVE PORTABLE & HOME VAPORIZERS, E-CIGS & BATTERIES AT EVERY GAS PIPE!

Hannah in Hurst, LMT

Serving the Mid-Cities for over 25 years. Massage for Better Sleep, Pain Relief, and Deep Relaxation. MasseuseToTheStars.com (MT#4797)

Call 817.590.2257

Are You Road-Trip Ready?

With our handy pick-up and drop-off services, having your car checked out could not be easier. Get ready for the holidays. Call today!

HISTORIC RIDGLEA THEATER

THE RIDGLEA is three great venues within one historic Fort Worth landmark. RIDGLEA THEATER has been restored to its authentic allure, recovering unique Spanish-Mediterranean elements. It is ideal for large audiences and special events. RIDGLEA ROOM and RIDGLEA LOUNGE have been making some of their own history, as connected adjuncts to RIDGLEA THEATER, or hosting their own smaller shows and gatherings. More at theRidglea.com

3958 Vickery | 817.731.3223 www.CowtownRover.com

EMPLOYMENT CDL Drivers needed, Hazmat tanker preferred, Laborers and Equipment Operators. Health Insurance and other benefits. Per Diem Paid. EOE

NEED A FRIEND? Ronnie D. Long Bail Bonds

830-833-4547

Immediate Jail Release 24 Hour Service. City, County, State and Federal Bonds. Located Minutes from Courts. 6004 Airport Freeway.

EMPLOYMENT Noor Dental PLLC dba Care Dental

(Mineral Wells, TX) needs Dentist to serve as primary oral health care provider, for children and adults. Needs Dr of Med. in Dentistry, Dr of Dental Surgery or rltd. Must have a valid dental license from the State of practice. Send resumes: ATTN: HR 128 Garette Morris Parkway Mineral Wells, TX 76067

Garage Sale

Dallas

Plano

Lewisville

LEGAL NOTICE The owners or lien holders are hereby notified that the vehicles listed below are being stored at AA Wrecker Service: 5709-B Denton Hwy. Haltom City, TX 76148 (817)656-3100 TDLR VSF Lic. No. 0536827VSF | www.license.state.tx.us

WeArePlannedParenthood.org

*Storage charges accrue daily until the vehicle is claimed *Failure of the owner or lien holder to claim the above vehicles within 30 days is a waiver of all right, title, and interest in the vehicles and a consent to the sale of the vehicle at a public sale.

We deliver vital reproductive health care, sex education, and information to millions of people worldwide. Supporters like you help build our movement. There’s a role for everyone. Sign up and volunteer today!

817-881-2408 Adrian

Garland

PLANNED PARENTHOOD Care. No matter what.

RonnieDLongBailBonds.com

all home repairs: painting, texture, fences, tile, doors, windows, decks, patios, shelves

FORT WORTH 817-763-8622

MAKE Homemade Carryon Homemade

817-834-9894

FALL SERVICES

SMOKE SINCE 4/2 0/19 LOVE & E C 70 THEGASPIPE.NET PEA

MODEL Trailer Trailer Trailer

VIN 576TCVDHL5089 NO VIN NOVIN

PRICE $4320.68 $970.63 $774.36

Dirtbike

L4BPCBDJ152001092

$438.65

PUBLIC NOTICE

J&J Blues Bar (formerly The Tin Panther) July 23rd - 9am 937 Woodward St. 76107 The Gas Pipe, The GAS PIPE, THE GAS PIPE, your Peace Love & Smoke Headquarters since

The following vehicles have been impounded with fees due to date by Lone Star Towing (VSF0647382) at 1100 Elaine Pl, Fort Worth TX, 76196, 817-334-0606: Jeep Cherokee, 1994, 1J4FJ28S0RL232662, $1177.49. Suzuki, 1981, JS1GS71L5B2100249, $566.47.

4/20/1970! SCORE a FREE GIFT on YOUR Birthday, FREE Scale Tuning and Lighter Refills on GAS PIPE goods, FREE Layaway, and all the safe, helpful service you expect from a 51 Years Young Joint. Plus, SCORE A FREE CBD HOLIDAZE GIFT With-A-Buy thru 12/31! Be Safe, Party Clean, Keep On Truckin’. More at

fwweekly.com

thegaspipe.net

SALON

817.617.2347 WWW.VATOLOCOTATTOOSTUDIO.COM

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SPA

MASSAGE FACIALS

SUMMER IS HERE!

gift cards available! MT106812

469-661-4786

K ABOUT THE

Time to protect your eyes.

O R E U R O P E A N FA C I A L $ 6 0

Patrick Optical can help you with your style!

@PatrickOptical

682-301-1115

CALL TO SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT 1156 COUNTRY CLUB LN. FORT WORTH, TX 76112

MT 106812

FO R T WO R T H W E E K LY

S FOR MMER FACIAL SPECIAL L OFFERMASSAGE PECIA SWITH A RELAXING $80/HR

@Patrick_Optical

2255 8th Ave. 817.370.6118 www.patrickoptical.com