Fort Worth Weekly Classifieds // September 4-10, 2024

Page 1


Fuzzy Math

After years of lackluster private school, the author’s children have hope public school will be better.

In 1954, per Brown vs. the Board of Education, segregation in schools was outlawed in the United States. The hope was that Black children and other children of color would be able to get equal education and the right to go to school within their district of choice with better school resources.

Those hopes and dreams have kept BIPOC parents looking for ways to provide their kids with a better future. I took those same hopes and dreams with me after having my son over 10 years ago. Strapped with my own childhood trauma and disappointment from being in public school, we chose private school. Growing up in the 1980s, I went through severe microaggressions or just plain racist aggressions. I was in third grade the first time I was ever called the n-word. I was thrown in remedial classes instead of trying to figure out what was the best way for me to learn. I was overly disciplined and given detention several times for things that even my non-BIPOC classmates did but never got in trouble for. I was paddled/ spanked a few times, too. Yes, that used to be allowed. I was bullied and made fun of by my non-BIPOC classmates and teachers, but nothing was ever done.

So, I felt that my best chance for my son to have less trauma was private school. I knew my son had his struggles, which eventually led him to be diagnosed with autism in fourth grade. I felt that going to private school would give him a chance to grow out of some of his struggles and get a good foundation at his learning pace. I felt that private school would be less drama and trauma for the most part because I am paying for it. Whoa, was I wrong.

METROPOLIS

student activities. The one requirement not met was not having a diverse teaching staff. Research has shown that a diverse teaching staff helps every child but especially BIPOC children with confidence and school performance. I still felt this was the best, least costly option.

The 2019-20 school year started out with a bang and not a good one. During the kindergarten meet-the-teacher day, I attempted to be discreet when telling her about my son’s speech therapy and other struggles. She began to talk so loudly that other parents began to stare. My son even backed away from her. He then sat down in the corner and started to play with some toys. Those same parents and their kids began to move away from him as though he was some diseased monster, when he was just a 5-year-old Black boy playing with blocks and trucks. My heart dropped. Then I thought to myself, Maybe she’s nervous because she’s new to the school like we are. Still, you need to have professionalism anywhere you go.

during online learning. She eventually ran off almost every BIPOC kid from enrolling in first grade. At least none of the other Black kids did.

We stayed, mostly because my daughter started at the preschool over the summer at this private school. The preschool had a more diverse teaching staff. I still love her Hispanic teacher to this day. I also felt that the first-grade teacher who had been there 20 years would be stable. Mentally. Also, for the most part, my son liked the rest of the other teachers there and the activities. Nope, wrong again.

(racial microaggressions from the teacher) and third grade, when we established an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) that was only sometimes followed by the better teacher. Mind you, this school has a small enrollment: at the most, 10 students per grade; at the least, five students in a class. So, in my mind, since I am paying for this, it is reasonable to ask for a little more academic assistance from time to time. The teachers don’t have that many kids to deal with.

The final straw was fourth grade. By this time, I was trying to continue to find ways and resources to help my son at this school. I kept holding out hope because third grade was not as bad as first and second. Unfortunately, fourth grade was bad again, with a pushy and clueless teacher who kept feeding him snacks and whatnot that were clearly on his food allergy and sensitivity list so he wouldn’t feel “left out.” She also kept giving him work beyond his comprehension, even with the new IEP on file for the school district along with his new diagnosis of autism. She did not want to be the partner in education that I was so desperately trying to get all the teachers to be. After all, I am paying for this! Clearly, at this point, my expectations of this school were not realistic. I could have gone elsewhere, but I thought, Stick with devil that you know.

I had several meetings with the private school director. I even filled out the yearly survey and requested to speak to the district rep for the private school company. No dice. Like most other surveys, theirs were also just for show because nothing ever changed.

In 2019, after doing various tours at private schools around my area, we settled on one private school that met most of my requirements. It was nonreligious with a diverse student population, fair tuition, and various

The rest of the year was worse. My son told me she was a “monster,” and I threatened to pull him out. The director, who is great, tried to calm everyone down as we were not the only BIPOC family having issues with her. The very issues I was trying to keep my son away from, I put him right into. My husband and I listened to the director and stayed to try to make the most of it. It also did not help that in 2020, the pandemic hit, and there was probably nowhere else to enroll him in. Stuck like chuck. This teacher continued to show her true colors

Since my son was the only boy of color in the class, he was bullied by some of the non-BIPOC kids. These issues were brought up several times, including after my son came home with defensive wounds on his forearms and reported incidents of being pushed in the head by those same boys in the restroom. This first-grade teacher turned a blind eye until my son got tired and defended himself toward the end of the school year. I then got a note that said he needed to keep “his hands to himself.” I sent the note right back and stated that “the other kids needed to have been keeping their hands to themselves all year.” Research shows that 37% of BIPOC children report having been bullied in public or private school. In my opinion and personal experience, I notice that teachers never see when a BIPOC kid is being hit or bullied but will see when they react to the bullying. The educators end up disciplining the victim instead of supporting them from the beginning.

And on we stayed through second grade

What people never tell you about private school is that they really don’t have any real resources. You are paying for every little thing and really getting nothing. There is no school psychologist, speech therapist, remedial aid, nothing. If you want any of those services or extracurricular activities, you have to go outside of the school and pay for them, especially the speech therapy, which I did pay for out of pocket for my son for almost three years. Given this knowledge and the new knowledge that I could turn to the public school system for testing and a new IEP, I reached out. Not in million years did I think I would be returning to public school for anything. My public-school trauma seemed too big to overcome.

The process was so easy. It was a far cry from what I experienced in my time in public school and with requesting services, because it seems there are more laws now for kids with disabilities. It was so easy that I

am now in the process of getting my daughter tested also.

Armed with a new IEP and diagnosis of autism, you would think that any school (public or private) would say, OK, let’s get to work and help this child. Not in private school. They don’t have to, because they have their own curriculum and rules. They don’t seem like they were equipped or knowledgeable enough to help with these issues. They claim to be on an accelerated track, meaning that every grade learns one grade ahead. This does not leave room for kids who need a slightly slower track. This left my son not even close to being at grade-level for math and reading. Research says that over 42% of BIPOC children are behind in math and reading. I put my child in private school to keep him from being too behind in any subject. My daughter was overly stimulated with all the day-to-day activities, which started to feel more like a circus than a place for learning. I knew another year at this private school would not be good for her. Plus, I did not want to have to deal with the same teacher over again. As of April 2024, I have registered my children with the local public elementary school, where there are IEPs and accommodations now on file for my son and soon for my daughter.

Five years and nearly $150,000 later, I have buyer’s remorse. I could have had my next dream car, an Audi S7 Sportback, paid for by now. I feel I have wasted five years of our kids’ lives on a private school we thought would be great, but instead we are left trying to scramble to help them catch up. Even if I were to have stayed there for free, I would not have, because I don’t want to deal with those teachers any longer. They are not as progressive as they think. Not everything with that school was negative. There were some good teachers, and summer camp was great, but, overall, that private school is no longer a good option for our family.

As a therapist, I am trying to do for my kids what I would for my clients, which is to advocate for what they need. I still have

hopes and dreams that with the support of their family and community, my kids will meet whatever goals they have for themselves. It is disheartening to know that I invested in a school so that they would invest in my kids, and I barely got a return. The very monster and trauma I was running from — the public school system — is the very thing I am running to now, mostly because I know now there are laws in place and I actually have more power without money to advocate for my child.

My, how things have changed from 30-plus years ago. I know everything may not have changed in public schools as far as teachers and their own beliefs — you can’t change everyone’s beliefs or not make them racist — but at least I am not paying for the racist microaggressions.

I don’t know what the 2024-25 public school year will hold for my kids. I am both excited and anxious. I am sure I will have to keep advocating for them. That will never stop. I set them up for tutoring this summer as well as continuing to tutor them myself at home. I am willing to pay for tutoring. But no longer will I be paying for private school. (Homeschooling is not an option for me.) It is still great that BIPOC and, in fact, everyone else have a choice as to what school they want their child or children to go. Just make sure you are truly making the right choice for you and your family. Don’t let all of your own trauma and fears hinder you from making clear decisions for your child or children. Whether it’s private school or public school, do your research. BIPOC community, the choice is still ours to keep fighting and advocating for our kids to have an equal and fair education. l

T.C. is a holistic Licensed Professional Counselor with over 17 years of experience in the mental/behavioral health field. She lives in Arlington with her happy family.

This column reflects the opinions and fact-gathering of the author(s) and only the author(s) and not the Fort Worth Weekly. To submit a column, please email Editor Anthony Mariani at Anthony@FWWeekly. com. He will gently edit it for clarity and concision.

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BUCK U

Pass Fail

TCU took the remedial route to back into a win in Palo Alto.

I’m no spring chicken anymore. As an elder millennial, staying up until 1 a.m. to watch a horrible on-field performance like TCU’s against Stanford last Friday is an affront to both my pre-geriatric sleep schedule and my energy levels the following day. TCU won, but I wouldn’t label the result a payoff for suffering into the wee hours of Saturday morning.

Instead, it was a Charlie Brownian “good grief” exasperation of escaping California with the first win of the season (and the fourth consecutive over the Cardinal).

Aside from an opening drive in which Savion Williams announced his arrival onto the Big 12’s most dangerous receivers list, the entire first half was dreadful. TCU’s defense — which already looks undeniably improved over last season — kept Stanford in first downs by committing penalties with the brainiacs backed into third-and-forever situations.

The first quarter was a slog all around as the teams combined on nearly 14 minutes of possession for the corresponding quantity of points on the first two drives of the contest. Frog veteran receiver JP Richardson fumbled on the next drive. TCU turned the ball over on downs, knocked in a field goal, and then muffed the handoff exchange on the final drive of the half in the shadow of Stanford’s goal line for a whopping 10 points to the Cardinal’s 17.

Despite not gaining a lead until nearly the fourth quarter, accumulating 100 yards

in team penalties to their opponent’s 24, and needing to survive an onside-kick attempt, TCU won a game against another Power 5 team, which is more than most teams in the country attempted this weekend save for the marquee matchups.

The obvious concerns are ball security (three fumbles, two lost) and many poorly timed penalties. Those fixable problems overshadowed what was an overall excellent performance by both major phases of the game. Sophomore Josh Hoover tossed for 353 yards, looked confident, and made mature decisions, though he’s still locking onto receivers much too early in his progressions.

Williams looked dominating in the first half. He contracted a case of the yips to start the second with a pair of drops, but he finished as the go-to guy, requiring lots of defensive attention. Josh Bech emerged as the lightning rod, gaining 139 yards on six

never found consistency in the passing game and was picked off once. The QB was hurried in the pocket most of the night and sacked four times.

Head Coach Sonny Dykes was his typically reserved self, generally barking at officials over 50/50 personal foul calls rather than berating his own team. For the first three quarters, he stood the way I do in just about any public place when I’m with my three sons: arms crossed with a face saying, “I don’t know what the hell ya’ll are doing right now.”

Aside from the obvious concerns, offensively the Frogs look better between the 20s than in the red zone. Still, it was encouraging to see a pair of under-center snaps: one, a sneak by Hoover for a touchdown; the other, when freshman QB Hauss Hejny from Aledo entered the game for a series. Hejny handed the ball off to the fullback for a first down and also scrambled successfully, displaying his obvious athleticism and potential to be a wildcat-type who can contribute throughout the season. The strategy of involving newcomer Hejny is multifaceted. Not only does it give opponents another something to prepare for, but it says that highly recruited quarterbacks, which he was, are less likely than ever to just sit an entire season and can remain with the team despite ubiquitous transfer options.

receptions to finish as the most productive receiver ahead of Richardson, who hauled in six as well for 107. The trio of Williams, Bech, and Richardson combined for 331 yards and confirmed my suspicion that they would be the stalwarts of the offense this season.

Carrying 20 times for 81 yards, Cam Cook plays differently from the tall, dominating straight-line RBs Frog Nation has become accustomed to in recent years. Cook is a bursty scat-back adept at maneuvering in tight spaces within the tackle box. I’ve yet to see his open-field speed leave the secondary behind, but his burst and drive are going to gain yards in situations where he shouldn’t, and as his patience improves, so will the Frogs’ rushing production.

The defense at large settled in after the first half, committing fewer bonehead penalties and eventually cutting off the scrambling ability of Ashton Daniels, who

TCU’s offense and defense connected the dots when they mattered most this week, in the fourth quarter. If you’ll recall, the opener against Colorado last season was similar, when the Frogs had opportunities to notch a win in the final quarter but just couldn’t. Granted, the Buffaloes rostered some individually talented athletes, which complicated the process, but this revamped 5-7 squad seems to know what it takes to win despite a litany of mistakes.

Next week’s Saturday night showcase should be a much tamer affair as the Long Island Sharks of the Northeast Conference swim their way down to the Fort for their paid shellacking. The Sharks lost their opener at Albany and should be an easy victory at the Carter. FCS opponents rarely upset their hosts, but Texas Tech was reminded just how quickly arrogance conflated into confidence can deliver humility, as Abilene Christian pushed the Red Raiders to overtime in Lubbock. There is no logical reason the Sharks should compete with Dykes’ Frogs. Famous last words. l

Injured most of last season, senior Jack Bech punished the Cardinal with six catches for 139 yards.

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