Lawrence Kids Spring, 2019
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Lawrence Kids Spring, 2019
Seasonal Essentials - The Martin/Horn Family Mama D Rides On... Bookworm - Lorelei Dunn Douglas County Dads Class These Lawrence Kids - State Debate Champs
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Lawrence Kids - The First Decade
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cover and table of contents photos: Amber Yoshida
a project of Four Birds Media info@lawrencekidsmagazine.com (785) 766-5669 Thank you for reading.
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Seasonal Essentials Rep. Eileen Horn and Rick Martin are busy. She’s fights the good fight in Topeka. He owns Limestone Pizza and teaches culinary arts to the youth of Lawrence. Together they wrangle Leo (4) and Bowie (18 mos). photos by Amber Yoshida
1. The downtown Antique Mall: Leo, our oldest, calls it the “treasure store”. We love it because he can find a $2 Hot Wheel or figurine and be as excited as if we spent way more money.
2. Prairie Park Nature Center + Marys Lake: The loop around the restored prairie and lake is a great distance for our kids to hike with us. There is a lot of variety and things to see, which keeps them intersted.
3. Clinton Lake + Sanders Mound: This is also a family favorite hike. Leo’ is old enough to get to the top of the mound, and he feels accomplished.
4. Lawrence Train Depot: This spot in North Lawrence is good for some train watching. With young boys, this is always a key fixture of our weekends.
5. The Lawrence Farmers Market: With live music and boundless things to taste and see, this never fails to entertain... and, we can buy ingredients for a family meal.
6. Eating at local restaurants: Our favorite family friendly spot is Nagoya at 23rd and Louisiana. Michelle, the owner, is so warm and inviting and makes us feel welcome, even when our kids make a mess!
7. The Baker Wetlands: Leo loves to take his binoculars and explore here. 8. Lawrence Public Library: The Duplo table, trains and storytime are favorites.
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Mama D Rides On... by Julie Dunlap, former Lawrence Kids contributor
Recently social media was all a-twitter with the “Ten-Year Challenge,” filling newsfeeds with before and after photos marking the past decade. I scrolled through as friends posted head shots and family photos, funny pictures featuring yoga poses juxtaposed with cupcakes or wordless, graphic changes in one’s backside. I resisted joining in, mainly because in the past ten years I’ve come to rely on reading glasses to see my phone and I still don’t know how to make a two-photo collage, both of which became insurmountable obstacles to me creating a trendy meme. As they have for all of us, though, the past decade has been filled with change. Even in the time since my last column for Lawrence Kids Magazine in 2015, the very faces around our dinner table (including mine) have changed, leading to perhaps the biggest milestone I have met since sending Baby #4 off to all-day Kindergarten ten years ago: We sold our minivan. After two decades in three different minivans, we finally bid farewell to that phase of our lives. To be clear, we were never going to be minivan people. We were going to be SUV people. We were going to be the cool parents who rolled like spit-up-covered, sleep-deprived ballers into the Target parking lot for Goldfish crackers and mega-sized toilet paper packs. We were going to forego the better fuel efficiency for the ability to confidently jump any curb and park on the grass at grade school football games. Most of all, we were not going to be the nerds in a minivan. As it turned out, we are big time nerds. Nerds who didn’t like battling swinging car doors while flinging infant carriers into place. Nerds who liked parking in the tiniest of spaces because we knew the auto-sliding doors wouldn’t nick the Mustang who parked too close to the line. Nerds who had four kids and really needed a car that didn’t require contortionist acrobatics to climb into the back row to answer the universally-asked question, “What’s that smell?” One by one, however, our kids (and their smells) began to leave for college. And 300,000 miles later I found myself alone in an eight-seat minivan, lugging my precious cargo space and remote-controlled sliding side doors around town with me. I had flirted with downsizing before, always running back to my trusty van out practicality. It was paid for. It was convenient. Its driver’s seat had molded into the exact shape of my thass. But last spring, not even that comfort and familiarity could shake the feeling in my soul that it was time to say
goodbye to all of that and move on when we found a pristine, affordable, used compact SUV. A cute hybrid with Bluetooth, GPS, and no unidentifiable smells. It was beautiful. It was everything I’d dreamed of having someday… when I was older. And for that reason, I cried all the way to the dealer. My husband tried to assure me that I still had many good years ahead. That, just because we were saying goodbye to the babymobile, it didn’t mean we were old and passe. While my mood shifted temporarily during the test drive and negotiating, my oldest daughter unwittingly torpedoed that progress when she called from college in Colorado as I sat in the finance office waiting room. “Hi, Mom, what are you doing?” my college junior asked, presumably from her exersaucer, grasping for a fistfull of Cheerios with her pudgy little fingers. “I’m at a car dealer with your dad. We’re trading in the minivan for a five-seater,” I replied, knowing full-well my child was hanging out in her house, likely with a bowl of Ramen noodles and perfectly-applied lipstick. “Awww... You’ll never be able to take our whole family together in one car again,” she lamented. And just like that, all sense of confidence in the decision to downsize gave way to an avalanche of regret and tears. I tried to hold it together as we hung up, turning to my husband, who shut me down before I could ask for the minivan keys back. “Nope,” he said with little empathy. “We’re doing this.” And so it came to pass, we dropped our last minivan off at the dealer, much like dropping our last kid off at Kindergarten, exchanging both for the newer, more mature model. The next leg of my journey is now taking place in a compact SUV that shouts to the world, “I’m not just a mom. I’m a *middle-aged* mom who has traded playdates for errands and carpools for podcasts. I don’t know the last time I was carded buying liquor, but I can sing along to Rick Springfield on 23rd Street now… as loudly as I want.” I’ve changed plenty in the past ten years as I’ve come to realize the things that tend to stress us out as young(er) parents, like remembering to contact the Tooth Fairy or what our kids wear for school pictures, don’t really matter in the end as long as everyone still wants to come together for the ride. Congratulations to Lawrence Kids on the first decade and welcome to those of you who joined parenthood in that time. As you’ve probably already noticed, the road is bumpy, lovely, and moves way too quickly, so be sure to buckle up and enjoy it. LK
Bookworm Lorelei Dunn (8) loves books about adventure. Her favorite features magic, a cave and a headstrong princess who does things her way. photos by Amber Yoshida
Dealing with Dragons: The Enchanted Forest Chronicles, Book One by Patricia C. Wrede In Lorelei’s favoite book Princess Cimorene is everything a princess is not supposed to be: headstrong, tomobyish smart and bored. The princess is so bored that she runs away to live with a dragon. And not just any dragon, but Kazul - one of the most powerful and dangerous dragons of all. Soon Princess Cimorene finds herself in perilous positions, hiding in a cave and breaking out of her tediously ordinary family. “I like Dealing with Dragons because it is a book with mythical beings and lots of magic,” Lorelei says. “My favorite characters are Cimorene, Kazul the dragon, and the witch because she has lots of cats. Through every single step this book is a big adventure.”
Healthy Dads Healthy Families Jery Marquez and His Crew are Helping Douglas County Dads be their Best photos by Jeff Burkhead
Heber Garcia didn’t think he needed to take a class on how to be a better father, but he’s glad he did. “For me the class put everything into perspective,” Garcia explains. “It made me think about my relationship with my daughter and her mother in ways I had never considered. That’s been really good for me and my daughter. It isn’t like we didn’t get along before, but we really get along together now.” Garcia is a proud graduate of the Douglas County Health Department’s Healthy Dads Healthy Families program. The program provides the skills and knowledge
men need to build positive, lasting relationships with their children and to strengthen job skills. The program, conducted by fathers, offers personal and professional development, employment strategies and may provide forgiveness for child support arrears. The program is offered at the Community Health Facility every Thursday from 6:30-8:30 pm and is funded through a grant. Childcare and snacks are provided and kids are, of course, welcome to join their dads at the class. “Dads matter in children’s lives in so many ways,” says Health Department Director Dan Patridge. “They help shape a child’s outlook on life. Mothers and fathers are there to be role models for their kids and get them prepared for life, and when you’ve got one hand tied behind your back, the job is harder.” Jery Márquez, Healthy Dads coordinator, says the program is, at it’s core, very basic. “We want to help these guys develop the skills they need to be better fathers for their children,” he says. “Children without a father is an epidemic and we’re here to help stem the tide and create better relationships between dads, kids and mothers.”
Marquez has been involved in fatherhood initiatives in Lawrence for nine years. “When dads are involved in their children’s lives, the children’s success is higher. They are more confident and have more self-esteem,” Marquez said. “Unfortunately, our society has a low expectation of fatherhood. It is something we need to change.” The National Center for Fathering classifies father-absent homes as a national emergency with an estimated 17 million children, or 23 percent of the U.S. population under age 18, living in a home without the physical presence of a father. In 2014, 1 in 5 children in Douglas County were living without a father in a family, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. According to the Center, children in father-absent homes are almost four times more likely to be poor, are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse and are more than twice as likely to commit suicide as children who are raised with a prominent father figure. “Unfortunately, instead of learning how to be better fathers and partners in parenting, too many guys check out,” Márquez says. “Our class is a non-intimidating way for guys to learn skills and tactics for dealing with the pressures of parenthood. We’re not here to excuse bad behavior in the past, but we’re here to help some guys turn the page and
create a better future.”
class.”
The program consists of ongoing 14-week group meets, which are free and open to any dad or father-figure in Douglas County. While the program follows a simple workbook and has a definite starting and ending point, Márquez says guys are welcome to start at any point. Better yet, fathers are encouraged to come long after they’ve graduated.
Garcia continues to attend classes because he has experienced the positive results in his own life.
The Healthy Dads Healthy Families program uses a comprehensive, multi-faceted approach to help fathers, including: • Developing and enhancing fathers’ positive parenting skills through participation in a peer support fathers group • Supporting responsible fathering by maximizing career development services and case management services offered in the community. “Look, nobody is saying you’ll master the art of fatherhood in 14 weeks,” Márquez says with a laugh. “A lot of the regular guys at classes have been coming for a long time. They tend to become mentors and help with some of the new guys. I think seeing other guys that might have similar experiences come through the other side as a better fathers helps some of the newer guys get comfortable with the
“My daughter and I are in a great place now,” he says. “One of the big lessons I learned was to try to think about situations from her perspective. When an adult is talking to a kid it can be intimidating. Also, respecting her mom at all times is important because my daughter can think something said about her mom is an attack on her. I would recommend the class to all dads. No matter how good of dad you are, I know you’ll learn a new method to help you be a better father.” Márquez is proud of the work the class does, but even more proud of the relationships the group forms. “The guys here support each other,” he says. “Having that support from other fathers is really, really powerful. Some of these guys have made mistakes, but we all have. We’re here to show dads a path to being better, more present fathers. I’m not sure there’s a more powerful lesson for a guy to learn.”
LK
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Lawrence Kids Max Lillich & Spencer Yost-Wolff: State Debate Champions photos: Emmalee Schaumburg
“I’ve gotten pretty good at listening to what others are saying, understanding their point and developing a counterpoint in my head. It’s works out great in disagreements with teachers, but my mom hates it. - Max Lillich”
By the time the Max Lillich and Spencer Yost-Wolff were crowned the 2018 Kansas 6A High School Debate Champions, their emotions were almost overwhelming. “Oh, wow,” Spencer laughs. “I don’t remember either of us celebrating. We were just totally exhausted. That last day of debates was like 14 or 15 hours. By the time we were done, we didn’t have the energy to be excited.” When the dust settled and the final arguments had rested, Max and Spencer were the best 2-Speaker Debate team in the state of Kansas. “Their victory is really a testament to their work,” debate coach Kelly Thompson said. “Spencer and Max are truly a solid debate team. They understand each other’s weaknesses and complement their strengths. A lot of teams feature two strong rebuttal speakers or a team that excels at affirmative arguments. Max and Spencer are both very well-rounded debaters, so they can work well together to form the best team. Also, the boys are very clear to give credit to the entire varsity debate squad.” While most people may imagine a champion debater yelling and pounding a podium to emphasize their point (“Okay, so there’s some of that,” Spencer con-
cedes), Max explains that, like basketball or football, the real work is done months before a debate. “We do hours and hours and hours of research on the topic,” Max says. “We need to be able to argue both sides of the issue convincingly, so that means we have to be comfortable with the best and worst arguments made by each side.” Both Max and Spencer knew going into the season that they could be a great team, but in the previous three seasons they had never debated as partners. “Last summer we were at a KU debate camp and debated each other’s teams,” Max says. “I don’t remember talking to Spencer about it, but I think we both knew that if we teamed up, we could be a pretty good pair for this season.” Spencer echoes Max’s thoughts. “I’ve known Max for years, but never partnered with him on a team,” he says. “So this season was really great. We complemented each other well and had a lot of fun researching and preparing together. The state championship is a great way to end our high schools careers.” This season’s topic dealt with immigration (“Resolved: the United States federal government should substantially decrease its restrictions on legal immigration to the United States.”). Max and Spencer focused the affirmative argument, but have no problem forcefully arguing the counter viewpoint. Staying abreast of opposing sides of current issues can make watching the nightly news – or family dinners – challenging. “Yeah, it’s frustrating to watch the news sometimes,” Spencer says with a laugh. “Its common to get upset watching the news when I know more about a subject than a reporter. But all that knowledge comes in handy when I argue with my mom.”
Both Spencer and Max have said that spending so much time over the past four years honing their arguing skills has great benefits, and the occasional negative drawback. “I certainly don’t back away from arguments,” Max explains. “I’ve gotten pretty good at listening to what others are saying, understanding their point and developing a counterpoint in my head. It works out great in disagreements with teachers, but my mom hates it.” Coach Kelly Thompson thinks Max and Spencer have worked hard to sharper their debate skills, and that’s not just being able to out-talk an opponent. “Most really good debaters have a natural affinity for speech and research,” Thompson explains. “These two obviously can speak circles around many people, but what sets them apart is their willingness to do the hard work of research. I think the biggest thing you can do to help ensure success is to make sure you understand the topic and Max and Spencer take the time to make sure they are experts.” Max and Spencer qualified for the National Speech and Debate Association’s National Tournament this June in Dallas and the duo are spending the last bits of their
senior year at Free State High School preparing for the competition. Both plan to attend college and study - wait for it - law and they agree that debating has played a big role in their motivations for the future. “I think being in debate for these four years has been huge for me,” Max says. “Even before winning the state championship I think Spencer and I both feel accomplished.” Spencer agrees. “My critical thinking has really developed through debate and debate prep,” he says. “That can only be helpful in the future.” Coach Thompson believes the benefits of debate are often overlooked. “I don’t want to be dramatic about it, but being in debate makes everything else in life easier,” he says with a chuckle. “Regardless of what you do, participating in debate will make it easier. The parts of your brain you access and the skills you develop are completely transferable. Debate is all about communication and I think we can all benefit from better communication.” LK
Jennifer & Tiger Sievers / Summer 2012
/ photo by Emmalee Schaumburg
Lawrence Kids the first decade...
We’’ have been at this for 10 years. Before we leap into our second decade, let’s take a quick look back...
Sophia Klish & Jack Helms / Fall 2011
/ photo Megan Axelsson
Liliana Keathley / Winter 2010
/ photo Tasha Keathley-Helms
Bill, Cindy, Tyler & Lauren Self / Winter 2013 / photo Tasha Keathley-Helms
Robert, Molly, Emma & Cameron Krause / Winter 2013 /
photo Emmalee Schaumburg
Meg Heriford / Winter, 2016 /
Justin, Jean, Jack & Josh Anderson / Summer 2013 /
photo Derek Helms
photo Emmalee Schaumburg
Matt Pryor, Christine Kosirog & family / Spring 2013 /
photo Emmalee Schaumburg
Aidan Wendt & Lewis / Summer 2011 /
photo Tasha Keathley-Helms
Ruth Gathunguri / Winter 2017 /
photo Amber Yoshida
Lola Martin / Summer 2017 /
photo Amber Yoshida
Alisson Vance Moore, Finn, Alex & Parker / Fall 2012 /
photo Emmalee Schaumburg
Crystal, Brittany, Adrianna & Halle Swearingen / Winter 2013 /
photo Emmalee Schaumburg
Lucas, Zeke & Clyde Creamer / Spring 2018 /
photo Amber Yoshida
Jill, Sopia & Dominic LaPoint / Spring 2012 /
photo Emmalee Schaumburg