The Gadfly “To persuade and reproach” - Socrates, The Apology
Vol. VII, Iss. III October 16, 2007
A Hopefully Enlightening Inquiry for All Those Concerned about America So I started writing this article about Sam Brownback and how he pales in comparison with Ron Paul, but I spent about four hours wringing every last syllable from my brain and ended up coming up with a paragraph and a half worth of nothing. Not that I don’t think Ron Paul would be a better president, but I realized that I was writing with the wrong idea in mind. Instead, I have a simple question for you, you here defined as the student body of Franciscan University: why Brownback? What makes him so special that the vast majority of campus seems to latch straight on to him? Is it just because he’s Catholic? Or is it part of the ubiquitous herd mentality that I see prevalent on our campus (but that is a subject for another piece)? Or is it something else altogether?
Let’s take a look at all of the major and more major than minor Republican candidates for a minute, starting from the beginning. Giuliani and McCain. We can rule those two out for obvious reasons: firstly, Giuliani is the one that is most likely to, upon winning the election, pull his mask off and actually be Hilary Clinton, and McCain makes really loud noises when he walks. They make shoes for a reason. So that leaves us with Romney, Brownback, Paul, Thompson, and Huckabee. Romney is not to be trusted. In 1994, he promised not to take away abortion rights in Massachusetts, and yet, he is now “pro-life.” Moving on, what about the last four candidates? A good read of their webpages indicates not much difference between Paul and Thompson, with Paul being a bit more radical in his
social policies and of course being the only one against the Iraq War. Huckabee is a little bit more mainstream Republican in terms of social issues and foreign policy, with Brownback leading the way in terms of modern, George Bush-style neoconservatism. Granted, this is only a summary of the candidates’ stances. I do not have the time or space to write up a complete report of their positions. The websites are there for a reason. But not much of this really matters to the average Franciscan student. There’s only one issue that counts, of course, the pro-life issue. And in this respect, there’s not much difference between the candidates, once we get rid of Hilary in Disguise, the Continued on page 7
Of Townies and Frannies “He’s a townie,” my friend Jimmy explained. We were at the bowling alley in Weirton, waiting in line to get shoes. A half-dozen Franciscan faces which just a moment before had been investigating me with a half-curious, half-confused shadow in their eyes suddenly lit up with ‘understanding.’ “But it’s okay. He’s a cool townie,” he went on. As to whether or not this explanation was necessary, I can only speculate. The first part was probably appropriate — it would have been a pity to leave our new companions confounded by the mystery of meeting a junior they had never “seen around” before. As for Jimmy’s ironic tone as he made the latter announcement and the sense of novelty implicit in the “Oh’s” and nodding heads of the hearers (a cool townie?), I will not take these too seriously. I’m sure it was all in the spirit of good fun. But it still made me wonder: How does having my home in town alter the way you other, “pure-bred” Franciscan students perceive me? What does it mean for you that someone is a “townie” and what sort of judgments accompany this revelation?
These are questions I cannot answer. What I do know, however, is the impression the local community has of (as we endearingly refer to you) Frannies. Frannies wear sandals until it is so late in the year that they think of their feet going numb as a good sign because they no longer have to tolerate the pain. Frannies often have “white man fros” and/or “neck beards” (a self-explanatory, but still incomprehensible phenomenon). They drive cars with license plates from California, Colorado, Tennessee, and New York. They all go to the first mass of the day at 5 a.m. Sometimes, they make it into the newspaper for protesting at the abortion clinic or some other ‘wild’ and odd-seeming religious escapade. But for the most part, we just don’t have to worry about them. They mostly stick to themselves up on the hill. Having said this, I must note that it is not my desire to support any stereotypes. The previous paragraph was merely a peek into the mind of a local person — an idea of the impressions some of my local friends might have if I introduced them to a Franny at the bowling alley, for example. But what’s my point, you ask? I simply think that it’s better to embrace a laid-back attitude of ironic self-awareness than it is to ignore or resent the opinions of others —
even when they stem from misunderstanding. And, whether you like it or not, Franciscan, the Steubenville area (along with its skewed impressions of this lovely little community on the hill) is a part of your identity. But what good can Steubenville do for the Franciscan community, you ask? How about provide a good dose of reality, a sounding board for all of you blossoming propagators of Christian virtue? As is the case with any community, what we have here at Franciscan is especially at risk for certain vices particular to the sort of community it is — pride (which always sprouts up when people start thinking they’re holier than each other), gossip, and being out of touch with the real world, to name a few. Now, I’m not saying I’ve ever seen or heard of any of these vices at Franciscan, but in such a relatively small and isolated community of uncommonly devout people, one ought to guard against getting too comfortable and secure, mistakenly thinking of life on campus as a representation of the trials of faith posed by daily life in the “real world.” Continued on page 6