The Gadfly “To persuade and reproach” - Socrates, The Apology
Vol. VII, Iss. III October 16, 2007
A Hopefully Enlightening Inquiry for All Those Concerned about America So I started writing this article about Sam Brownback and how he pales in comparison with Ron Paul, but I spent about four hours wringing every last syllable from my brain and ended up coming up with a paragraph and a half worth of nothing. Not that I don’t think Ron Paul would be a better president, but I realized that I was writing with the wrong idea in mind. Instead, I have a simple question for you, you here defined as the student body of Franciscan University: why Brownback? What makes him so special that the vast majority of campus seems to latch straight on to him? Is it just because he’s Catholic? Or is it part of the ubiquitous herd mentality that I see prevalent on our campus (but that is a subject for another piece)? Or is it something else altogether?
Let’s take a look at all of the major and more major than minor Republican candidates for a minute, starting from the beginning. Giuliani and McCain. We can rule those two out for obvious reasons: firstly, Giuliani is the one that is most likely to, upon winning the election, pull his mask off and actually be Hilary Clinton, and McCain makes really loud noises when he walks. They make shoes for a reason. So that leaves us with Romney, Brownback, Paul, Thompson, and Huckabee. Romney is not to be trusted. In 1994, he promised not to take away abortion rights in Massachusetts, and yet, he is now “pro-life.” Moving on, what about the last four candidates? A good read of their webpages indicates not much difference between Paul and Thompson, with Paul being a bit more radical in his
social policies and of course being the only one against the Iraq War. Huckabee is a little bit more mainstream Republican in terms of social issues and foreign policy, with Brownback leading the way in terms of modern, George Bush-style neoconservatism. Granted, this is only a summary of the candidates’ stances. I do not have the time or space to write up a complete report of their positions. The websites are there for a reason. But not much of this really matters to the average Franciscan student. There’s only one issue that counts, of course, the pro-life issue. And in this respect, there’s not much difference between the candidates, once we get rid of Hilary in Disguise, the Continued on page 7
Of Townies and Frannies “He’s a townie,” my friend Jimmy explained. We were at the bowling alley in Weirton, waiting in line to get shoes. A half-dozen Franciscan faces which just a moment before had been investigating me with a half-curious, half-confused shadow in their eyes suddenly lit up with ‘understanding.’ “But it’s okay. He’s a cool townie,” he went on. As to whether or not this explanation was necessary, I can only speculate. The first part was probably appropriate — it would have been a pity to leave our new companions confounded by the mystery of meeting a junior they had never “seen around” before. As for Jimmy’s ironic tone as he made the latter announcement and the sense of novelty implicit in the “Oh’s” and nodding heads of the hearers (a cool townie?), I will not take these too seriously. I’m sure it was all in the spirit of good fun. But it still made me wonder: How does having my home in town alter the way you other, “pure-bred” Franciscan students perceive me? What does it mean for you that someone is a “townie” and what sort of judgments accompany this revelation?
These are questions I cannot answer. What I do know, however, is the impression the local community has of (as we endearingly refer to you) Frannies. Frannies wear sandals until it is so late in the year that they think of their feet going numb as a good sign because they no longer have to tolerate the pain. Frannies often have “white man fros” and/or “neck beards” (a self-explanatory, but still incomprehensible phenomenon). They drive cars with license plates from California, Colorado, Tennessee, and New York. They all go to the first mass of the day at 5 a.m. Sometimes, they make it into the newspaper for protesting at the abortion clinic or some other ‘wild’ and odd-seeming religious escapade. But for the most part, we just don’t have to worry about them. They mostly stick to themselves up on the hill. Having said this, I must note that it is not my desire to support any stereotypes. The previous paragraph was merely a peek into the mind of a local person — an idea of the impressions some of my local friends might have if I introduced them to a Franny at the bowling alley, for example. But what’s my point, you ask? I simply think that it’s better to embrace a laid-back attitude of ironic self-awareness than it is to ignore or resent the opinions of others —
even when they stem from misunderstanding. And, whether you like it or not, Franciscan, the Steubenville area (along with its skewed impressions of this lovely little community on the hill) is a part of your identity. But what good can Steubenville do for the Franciscan community, you ask? How about provide a good dose of reality, a sounding board for all of you blossoming propagators of Christian virtue? As is the case with any community, what we have here at Franciscan is especially at risk for certain vices particular to the sort of community it is — pride (which always sprouts up when people start thinking they’re holier than each other), gossip, and being out of touch with the real world, to name a few. Now, I’m not saying I’ve ever seen or heard of any of these vices at Franciscan, but in such a relatively small and isolated community of uncommonly devout people, one ought to guard against getting too comfortable and secure, mistakenly thinking of life on campus as a representation of the trials of faith posed by daily life in the “real world.” Continued on page 6
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Letter to the Editor: A Disappointed Sadie I don’t know if this is appropriate for an Opinion column in the paper, but I just thought I’d share my observations.
Staff: Ubiquitous Bubble-Burster: Mike Andreola (MA) Brian D’Amico (BD)
I was somewhat disappointed at the lack of Catholic endorsement at the S.O.S Sadie Hawkins dance on Friday, September 28. Being at a Catholic university, I assumed that the manner in which we conduct ourselves should reflect our Christian values (specifically those pertaining to lust and other sins against the sixth commandment, see Catechism 2351). My expectations to enjoy the leisure of swing dancing were not fulfilled by a mere 2 or 3 songs thrown
into a mix of provocative rap music, and I felt let down by the few students who traded typical head-banging maneuvers for promiscuous grinding. It put those in pursuit of a fun, clean evening in an awkward position. We paid our entrance fee (not to mention tuition to a Catholic university where we expected to meet other peers who uphold our same values regarding chastity) to enjoy an evening of fun, too. Let’s think these things through before we let our hormones get the better of us next time! ~Heather Bartlett
Emily Davis (ED) Gary Klump (GK) Jamie Kropka (JK) Mad Scientist Correspondent: Callie Langworthy (CL)
QUO VADIS? STEREOTYPING 101
John Mario Levri (JML) Chris McAnall (CM) Andy Moe (AM) The Goodkind Gnostic: Michael C. Pezzulo (MCP) High Inquisitor: Mark Schreck (MS) Dan Tysz (DT) Business Manager: Sarah Bartley (SB) Layout Editor: Manuel Garcia (MG) Editor in Chief: Cate Shultis (CS)
** Please note that the views held in the articles do not necessarily express the views of the whole staff. Interested in joining our staff? Email us at notestothegadfly@gmail.com
~Mission Statement~ The Gadfly is an attempt to “bite the sleeping horse” in the spirit of Socrates. It is a student publication whose purpose is to facilitate discussion concerning campus and cultural issues as they pertain to students of Franciscan University. It aims to be a forum for open, well-thought out, and honest discussion towards the end of knowing and loving truth in its most robust sense.
Advisor: Dr. John White Advisor Extraordinaire
“So, to get to know each other a little better, I want you all to say what you thought about Spain before coming here, and what you think now.” Thus began my first class here in Valencia. As he waited calmly for someone to speak up, Valle smiled complacently. We squirmed. He continued, “I’m sure you thought it was all bullfights and flamenco…” and continued in that vein for a solid ten minutes – telling us how wrong our stereotypes are, and how we should know that Spain is an advanced, modern country, just like everywhere else. That stuff about tapas and bullfighting is all peripheral. I tucked his rant under my hat, figuring it might prove valuable. In my next class, the professor spoke about regional stereotypes within Spain (those northerners – all they do is work!). He conversed fluently about these stereotypes, and while he wasn’t exactly promoting them, he certainly wasn’t denying them. A few weeks passed, and I had a few rants of my own regarding stereotypes. I was terribly proud of how unlike my own stereotype of the average American college student I am. I mean, I’m pretty wonderful, compared with that. However, I noticed that when I mentioned my amazing uniqueness to other people, such as Adela, my host mother, they weren’t quite as impressed as I was. Then I met Javi through an English/ Spanish exchange program. He talked for quite a while about how frustrated he is with stereotypes associated with Spain. “People assume we’re lazy, that we don’t like to work, don’t have goals… that may be true for some people, but that’s not me.” He is a Spaniard, and in a way, it seems that he has been formed by his national stereotype not to be the stereotypical Spaniard. What about me? Who am I? What stereotypes have made me who I am? I am an American, a New Englander. A convert to Ca-
tholicism. A student at Franciscan University. A woman. What does that mean? My gut reaction is to say that it doesn’t mean a thing; who I am has nothing to do with where I come from. Those things are incidental, they have nothing to do with my identity! And they don’t. But they do. Because I am from New England, certain experiences are uniquely and inextricably part of my character. In a way, I am apple picking in September. I am puritan work ethic. New England has impressed itself onto my character. I am Catholic. I am a convert – this means I am a part of a tradition that I chose. I share in a way of life, an experience shared by millions the world over. Who I am, what I am, reflects that common life of the Church. As I was working out this puzzle, the most shocking thing that I realized was – it’s ok. It’s ok that I am a New Englander, a Catholic, an American. Running away from stereotypes is just as conformist as consciously adhering to them. If there are negative characteristics associated with a stereotype (such as those with American women studying abroad), then it’s probably best to break with that stereotype. But it seems important that one do so because it is a wrong way of life, not because it is the way of life expected of him or her. That is to say – going against the flow is only a good thing when the “flow” is headed in a bad direction. Because there is nothing intrinsically wrong about being an American, a woman, and a student studying abroad. That is what I am, and I will do my best to comport myself in a way that is dignifying to all those roles. So go ahead and break stereotypes! But, if possible, do so unselfconsciously. Otherwise, you’ll just be acting self-obsessed, like all those other Americans… ~ED
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St. Paul, patron saint of journalists and newspaper staffs, pray for us.
America: Following Rome’s Fall “Those that do not study history are doomed to repeat it.” This famous quote is from philosopher Georges Santayana, who originally said these words to warn the U.S. about intervening in Vietnam. Reading and learning about past events and people is absolutely essential for anyone who wants to make a wise, well-informed, and prudent decision. This study should apply especially to political leaders who, in some way, affect the lives of others. All one has to do is look at both ancient and recent past civilizations to see the various mistakes that were made and, hopefully, learn from the errors. One of the most impressive and influential of these ancient civilizations was the Roman Empire. Throughout this article, I will briefly explore some of the major happenings that led to the “fall” of the Western Roman Empire and how these occurrences parallel certain aspects of our current culture. There are many theories describing exactly what caused the Western Roman Empire to be conquered by barbarians on September 4, 476 A.D. However, regardless of which theory one happens to hold, one thing is clear and undeniable: the “fall” was not a sudden occurrence. Rather, it was a slow decline that resulted from a series of events. The Roman Empire in its prime was seemingly invincible because of factors that came about because of military accomplishments. And yet, military problems played a huge part in the downfall of the Western Roman Empire. There was a good amount of corruption among military leaders, and, in the years preceding the “fall,” the Empire had hired and depended on foreign, barbaric soldiers, especially Germanic warriors, which made the Western Empire more susceptible to invasion by barbaric armies. This causes me to think of America and our extensive trade with countries with radically different political and moral views, particularly China, which is technically a Communist country. Letting a country like China, whose political and moral mindset is radically different from what America originally stood for, have a substantial influence over our economy is a definitely a bad idea. Historian William Carroll Bark in his book “Origins of the Medieval World” argues that the decline of the Western Ro-
man Empire was largely due to financial reasons: gold was no longer used in the manufacturing of currency. Because money had lost a great a deal of its value, the upper class, along with the soldiers, decided that it wanted items of value for payment instead of money. This, along with the fact that it was legally permissible for the middle class to tax the lower class, obviously caused a lot of problems. One can definitely see a similar problem in America today as the value of the dollar gradually becomes lower and lower while the cost of living continues to rise in many parts of the country. This is partially due to the fact that there is more money being made than there is gold to back it up. Although all the previously mentioned factors legitimately contributed to the decline of the Western Roman Empire, I think one of the main and most important problems was with the mentality of the Roman citizens in the years preceding the downfall of the Empire. Essentially, all they really cared about was entertainment and pleasure. Whether it was going to the Colosseum and watching people fight and kill each other or getting free bread from the government, most of the Roman citizens did not really care about anything else. In our American culture, I see much of the same thing: so many people are so obsessed with convenience and getting what they want when they want it. Little else seems to matter. Studying the past mistakes of others is one of the most important activities one should engage in if he or she wants to avoid being “doomed” to repeating tragic events of history. Another good way to help stop the recurrence of past tragedies is to become informed and get involved. With the presidential election coming up next year, I encourage you to find out the TRUE facts of each candidate (i.e. his or her voting record) and decide accordingly who you think is best…don’t just vote for someone because everyone on campus is voting for him.
~DT
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THE GNOSTIC SPEAKS: Praise God and Pass the Nietzsche (Part 1) As a “philosopher” (I prefer the term “aspirant to philosophy”) I have always understood it to be my vocation and duty to develop and encourage the development of a philosophic (i.e. wisdom–seeking) frame of mind. In “The Gnostic Speaks,” I will engage in reflections on specific topics with this aim in mind. No particular rules for topic or approach (suggestions welcome!), I just want to raise a topic, reflect on it in a way which attempts gets to the heart of it, and by so doing encourage you, our readers, to reflect. How better to begin this noble task than by turning to the issues raised by Mr. Acemoglu’s letter to the editor in last issue (October 2). While his remarks addressed the intellectual rigor of theological studies here at Franciscan, I wish to consider our approach to intellectual studies here on the broader frame of its intellectual openness and aims, beginning with theology, but considering especially the field of philosophy and hopefully offering some thoughts for other fields as well. It would appear that theological study here is marked by a tension between theology in the sense of a speculative discipline and Catechetics. Theology as speculative is interested, of course, in acquiring a firm hold on our tradition (or better, in acquiring a mind held by that tradition) but has the specific aim of growing within that tradition, i.e. developing its doctrines so they can more clearly disclose the inner
radiance of Revelation and applying doctrine (both as existing and as developed) to the particular and new challenges of our own day. While not contrary to theology, Catechetics is however divergent in its aims. A teacher of doctrine as teacher is not interested in development; indeed, speculation is opposed to his field – his vocation is to communicate what he has received, not to revise its form of expression. A catechist might incidentally develop a doctrine or find a new application, but his goal is to give what he has received as he has received it. But if we accept the understanding of theology suggested above, we create an apparent conflict. Should theology then be studied as an articulation of the faith that must be passed on intact in its doctrinal form, or as a living thing that imposes a demand on the mind? This demand is that one which first exists in the theologian’s heart, and from there draws his or her mind to confront the Truth that is always greater than man’s thoughts and seek to allow His breath to give new animation and life to old doctrines. It is not to revise or change a teaching (if the teaching is true it can never be changed) but to seek to breath in the Spirit who enlivens that teaching and give it new and vibrant expression in every generation. A high and difficult calling, no doubt. The catechist, whose purview is the tamer task of receiving, understanding, and passing on
existing formulations has a no less necessary task – after all, no one can breath inside or seek to rearticulate a teaching he does not know. This means our conflict evades safe and easy resolution. We cannot simply affirm one side and then go home. If we say we study theology to enable catechesis, then who will seek to share the breath and life of our doctrines with our intellectual climate and confront the problems of our day? If theology is for its own sake, who will instruct the simple faithful (who are naturally more edified by a straightforward teaching, than by multiplicity of interpretation)? Clearly the study of theology must be both for catechists and for theologians proper. It is a call for discernment for each who studies theology here to say to what degree he or she should study theology for catechetical or speculative ends. But each must seek to have that vibrant inner communication with Truth, Who writes His word anew in every heart that comes to Him. Next time I will move on from here to my promised treatment of philosophy and explain what in tarnation Nietzsche has to do with anything. Until then, I remain knowingly yours, ~The Goodkind Gnostic
The Sleeping Horse: Household Stereotypes Although my article for this issue was not about households, my next article will be, and that means I need to challenge households. In the feedback I received from my last household article, one reader expressed that households have stereotypes that interfere with their real mission. For example, the reader wrote that she has heard people say “There are no men in the Brothers, only boys, Stella Maria girls are partiers, the Prods drink too much, you have to dress a
certain way to be accepted in certain households and the like.” Now, as with a lot of stereotypes, household stereotypes may not be true. But usually there is at least some type of consistent behavior that makes one (at least superficially) think that a group of people act a certain way regularly. The reader actually chose not to join a household because of the stereotypes associated with them. Do you think that certain households have stereotypes? Do you think that these
stereotypes are detrimental (if they exist)? What can we do to get rid of the stereotypes? Peace and all good, as always,
~JML
St. Pancras, protector from perjury, pray for us.
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A Modern Day Dives and Lazarus: On Wasting Food Gasoline is an important commodity. Most of us are fairly shocked when people use it up as though it wasn’t two-something a gallon. Imagine how shocking it would be to see someone pulling over to the side of the road and siphoning all the gas out of their car onto the ground. Why? They’ve probably got more money to buy more gas, right? There are places in the world where people spend everything they have every day just to cut the hunger pangs. The smallest scraps are consumed and to discover food that we would consider inedible can be a treat. Yet often at a single meal we will discard more than some such people get in a day. How can we justify that? Because we’ve got more money to buy more food? Here’s the truth – I’m using my connections with the press to vent at you about something that rubs me the wrong way: wasting food. When it looks like the conversations at your table are beginning to wind down and people are getting ready to leave, take a look at your plate and the plates of those around you. Odds are many of them will still have a good deal of food left on them: someone didn’t have much of an appetite, it just didn’t taste right, or someone discovered that Hometown was serving pulled pork sandwiches just moments after snagging a plateful of vegetarian…stuff. There’s always a reason to
throw something away. Seriously, though – stop it! No one who picked up this issue of The Gadfly is ignorant of the fact that we live in an amazingly privileged country, or that most of the world hasn’t got it anywhere near as good as we have it. Our access to food, shelter, and all of the things that we consider basic needs is the exception to the rule, not the norm. We are blessed people – but how much do we show that when we’re scraping our dishes into the garbage? In a world in which we are most definitely Dives and not Lazarus, at the very least we can make ourselves seem gracious stewards of a great bounty. It’s not my intention to suggest that everyone on this campus physically join the fight against world hunger; at this point in our lives it is necessary that we mostly confine ourselves to praying for the hungry, volunteering locally, and perhaps giving monetary support to those who are able to wade in up to their chins. As for ourselves, we can make a difference in the social climate, if only locally, by treating what we have as though it were a valuable commodity and not cheaply expendable.
weren’t a given, pretend tomorrow there might not be a cafeteria full of food in which to gorge ourselves. Maybe we could treat food as a means of sustaining life and not so much a means of gustatory entertainment. Even when the food doesn’t taste great, it’s probably still fit for consumption. To quote your mother, “Starving people in Africa would be happy to have that.” “But,” you’re saying now, “the fact that I might clear my plate doesn’t put food in anyone else’s belly.” True enough. I concede. But my concern is having respect for empty bellies, for being good stewards of the things that we have been given, and for bettering the body of Christ. To that end let us all gratefully take and use as much as we need and forego the merely sensual pleasures of excess. Also, eat your vegetables. And mine, if you don’t mind.
~AM
If for no reason other than respect for those who have little, maybe we could start treating our resources as though they
Outside the Bubble China: The World Medical Association struck an agreement with China last week that promises to end involuntary removal of inmates’ organs. For years, Beijing has been accused of violating prisoners’ rights by forcing them to donate their organs against their personal or religious beliefs to meet the high demand for transplants both within China and around the world. While Chinese officials maintain such abuse has not occurred, they are assuring the global community that they will allow the transfer of inmates’ organs to only their families.
Irbil, Iraq: Ammar Abdul Rasool Abaas served as an interpreter for the United States Army in Iraq for more than two years. He says he decided to help the Americans because his family needed the money. The insurgency in Iraq singled him out and continues to threaten him and his family. Fearing for their lives, he quit his job as an interpreter and took his family to Iraq’s northern Kurdish region where he currently works as a mechanic. He hopes that in return for his sacrifice the United States will grant him asylum, and he is not alone. Thousands of Iraqis like Abaas have sought refuge in the
United States but few have been approved. This year, the United States will accept 2,000 Iraqi refugees, though the U.S. House of Representatives had proposed admitting up to 60,000 over the course of the next four years. While most lawmakers would love to give due reward to those Iraqis who have risked their lives to help American soldiers fighting in Iraq, they must also avoid an overwhelming influx of refugees and its potential political and economic consequences.
Continued on page 6
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Construction Workers, Prep Students, and Catholic Students For the past three summers I have worked at a preparatory school just outside of Pittsburgh called Shadyside Academy, an elite high school and a feeder for Ivy League Colleges. The “Summer Help,” as we were referred to, would do anything that needed done on campus: cut grass, weed whack, paint, knock down walls, put up walls, build new roads, patch old roads, carry heavy objects, cut down trees, haul logs, run computer cables, remove carpets; pretty much anything and everything that needed to be done. Each summer the college help would fall into a routine and before I knew it, gone were the out of work activities we’d frequent – Fourth of July parties, graduation parties, bars, the late nights of poker, beer brauts, the Pittsburgh Pirate games – and it would soon be the last week of work for the summer. Each final week of all 3 summers I had the same thought: “Man, these guys are really great, but I feel like I didn’t have enough conversations with meaning.” Part of the reason why, like I said, is that we would fall into the same routine, and a lot of that routine was complaining about the students during our work breaks. I knew that all the negativity was not the best basis for friendship, but at the same time, the complaints that were brought up often had valid underlying points. For example, every morning while we were weeding or carrying lockers or digging a ditch, we’d see many students roll onto campus in Mercedes Benzes, BMWs, or Audis. Unfortunately, with a privileged lifestyle, there are a lot of disadvantages. One that was most obvious to the summer help was a disregard for anything practical and little employment of common sense. However, lack of common sense was not the worst of the student’s behavior. Almost stereotypically, the students “Outside The Bubble” continued from page 5
Carletonville, South Africa: Disaster struck last Tuesday at the Elandsrand gold mine when an air pipe exploded and disabled the main elevator, trapping 3,200 men and women below. Officials at Harmony Gold Mining Co. have been criticized for not notifying the government or public about the incident – the news hit the wires 15 hours after the pipe explosion at the behest of the National Union of Mineworkers. “Of Townies and Frannies” continued from page 1
To cut to the chase, I am encouraging you to involve yourselves in the local community, to take the time to broaden your familiarity with the area itself. Sure, some Frannies have made it as far west as Zalenski’s in Wintersville, but has anyone tried the high jump at Austin Lake, or watched the sunset from Fernwood State Park? Has anyone listened to local radio enough to catch any of the events going on in the
acted as if the manual laborers did not exist. Never did we get a “Hello,” or “Those flowers look nice,” or “Thank you for cleaning up the mess we made.” For another example, one day after coffee break the summer help loaded up the pick-up truck and got in. As we were sitting in the bed, I felt a punch in the shoulder: “Hey Levri, you gotta girlfriend here?” “No,” I said. “Well you do now, look at your truck.” I look over at my father’s white suburban and on the headlights, tail lights, and some windows, there were pink hearts and words like “hottie” written on the vehicle. After trying to explain to my father that I could not have prevented someone from writing on his vehicle, I think I would’ve rather had a simple “I really like the new color you painted the dormitory.” The idea I’m driving at is that the students should let the manual labors know they are appreciated and treat them like human beings, not just the “men who come at 7 and leave at 4 everyday.” Which brings me to my main point: I do not think we students at Franciscan University are any better about this than the students at Shadyside Academy. I figured at the beginning of the year, “Sure, we are students too, but we’re Catholic, and our Christian values will shine and all the manual laborers at Franciscan will see Christ in the students.” I do not think we are doing our best. I, for one, as soon as I traded in my jeans and boots for shorts and sneakers, noticed myself almost scared to approach the construction workers, even though a week before I was doing the same type of work. I was somehow now a “student” and there was a divide. I cannot explain the phenomenon, I can only hope the reader of this article knows what I am trying Miraculously, the last of the 20 trapped miners were rescued after having spent 20 hours underground, allowing the incident to pass without any casualties. Caracas, Venezuela: President Hugo Chavez has raised many eyebrows about the score of changes he’s been making recently. He revamped Venezuela’s currency. He changed the national seal and flag. It’s no longer just Venezuela anymore, but the
greater Steubenville area? When was the last time you stopped and talked to a townie in his (its?) own element? We’re not as unfriendly as our air smells, I promise you. By this point, some of the more loud-mouthed (I mean…‘perceptive’) readers among you might be objecting to the indefiniteness of my proposition. Speaking in practical terms, what exactly am I suggesting, and how do I think I can get away
to describe. Finally, after a couple of weeks, I started saying hello to the construction workers and asking them about their work and trying (but failing) to relate to them the jobs I did the previous summer. Although they were always courteous, I got the feeling that these construction workers felt about us in the same way the summer help felt about the students at Shadyside Academy. I have but little evidence: one construction worker told me that he didn’t understand the method for doing the job the way it was being done but “that’s the way they want it to look for you students.” That line sounded eerily similar to phrases we summer help uttered amongst ourselves at Shadyside. This past week I encountered a construction worker inside the dorm and I was making small talk with him and asked him if he was fixing a pipe. He replied no and made a comment about how it wouldn’t have happened if some students would not have been messing around. Again, I felt like we students were spoiled and not Christian. I am not blaming the construction workers for their attitude; in fact, I think that is what a “spoiled student” would do – make this the construction worker’s problem for not thinking the student was totally within his rights to do whatever he wanted and if a pipe gets broken, then “So what?” This is a really long-winded way of imploring everyone at this school simply to be courteous to the workers on campus, let them know they do a good job, and if they want to talk about their work or family, to listen. But please stop short from writing on the really muscle-bound worker’s car. Peace and all good, as always, ~JML Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela. Now he is changing the time zone Venezuela operates in by turning the national clock back by 30 minutes. Some say it’s a move to scorn American imperialism, but he insists it will help coincide the average Venezuelan, especially schoolchildren, with the cycle of the sun and thus improve health and efficiency. ~BD without offering specific solutions to an alleged problem I’ve brought attention to? I’m afraid these are not my questions to answer. Both because I’ve already gone past the word limit set for our articles and because it’s your area of expertise, as Christ’s missionaries in the world, to devise and enact works of mercy and outreach, not mine. I’m just a townie, remember? ~JK
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St. Thomas Aquinas, patron saint of universities, pray for us.
COMIC CORNER ~GK
“A Hopefully... ” continued from page 1
Everlasting Flipflopper, and the Mormon. Ron Paul is as pro-life as anyone on campus (perhaps more so, when you get to the Iraq War issue); he’s an OB/ GYN. Thompson is supportive of overturning Roe v. Wade, as is Huckabee, and obviously Brownback. So this brings me right back to my original question: why Brownback? Personally, I think that Ron Paul would be a better choice, for many rea-
sons: namely, his opposition to big government, abortion, and the Iraq War. So what gives? Is it because Brownback is Catholic, and for no other reason? Is it because all your friends are into him? I am inclined to think so, but you can prove me wrong. Email The Gadfly at notestothegadfly@gmail.com with your reasons for supporting Brownback, or perhaps your reasons for supporting someone else. I look forward to hearing from you.
For the next issue, I will be interviewing students who worked for Senator Brownback over the summer. Stay tuned!
~MA
j|Çx? j|à? tÇw jtzzxÜç M.R.S.* Since arriving here on location At Franciscan University I’ve been enlightened to my vocation Now what classes are required for an M.R.S. Degree? It’s not exactly a secret That couples form and break up over night Now my only question is Where is my Mr. Right? I remember the day, the second I first saw his face (I celebrate the anniversary), but in any case I was walking up the hallway in Egan talking to a friend When I stumbled on the stairway, certain to tumble and meet my end But suddenly, I was supported by two strong and brawny arms I turned around to face my rescuer and fell victim to his charm Frantically searching my head for a flirtatious Catholic pickup line, I said have you ever met your guardian angel, ‘cause I think I just met mine! I was eating lunch at 1:34 in the downstairs of the Caf I was fueled up and feeling good, having just gotten out from Mass Ferociously sipping my water, I took a bite out of my sub And looked up to see my man peacefully blessing his grub Hallelujah! What a guy, what a man, he must be Mr. Right! And maybe if I get the spot I want I’ll see him in the Port tonight And if that falls though, 6:30 Mass is a sure fit I could totally live with responding to the title of Mrs. Perfect My plan of action was pressing, now was the chance With only a few more weeks to go, I thanked the heavens for the Sadie Hawkins Dance Coolly approaching him I asked, “Will you go to the dance with me?” Startled and looking up from his mush he said, “What? But…I’m a Pre-The!” I was mortified Mummified in my own guilt and embarrassment All the signs had told me lies I was just so innocent! I guess I won’t be Sadie, but that’s just fine If his vocation does a 180, I’ll be first up in line. Awkwardly searching for an exit, I said, “Well, enjoy your feast… “And why the heck did you not tell me that you’re going to be a priest?!?!” *This is a work of fiction
~Heather Bartlett
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