Volume VII, Issue 5

Page 1

The Gadfly “To persuade and reproach” - Socrates, The Apology

Vol. VII, Iss. V November 13, 2007

Unholy Hyperbole The exuberance of youth often causes us to indulge in slight exaggerations. It’s a pastime we all engage in, and I can say for myself that for years I have found it to be true that at times there is nothing more fun than good hyperbole. But one thing I never expected was the way I would begin to speak once I got to college. Suddenly, when faced with any number of mundane questions (“How was your weekend?” “What’d you think of the movie?” “How was your dentist’s appointment?”) I found myself giving the answer: “It was awesome!” One of two conclusions can be drawn from this: (1) my entry into college coincided with a cosmic augmentation of all things, shifting what once was good or surprising to awesome, sweet, ridiculous, incredible, etc. or (2) somehow entering into

college caused me to perceive everything as being qualitatively more extreme – or at least to express it as being that way. After giving it much thought, I’m going to proceed on the assumption that the latter is the case. What in the world caused this? How this sudden leap from real, normal descriptions of the world I perceived to ones that are on the very extremity of reality? Or perhaps a better question: why this leap? It seems that for the most part it is a harmless effort at making myself seem more amiable. A positive outlook makes a person more approachable, and a humorously positive – or at times negative – outlook can even make people want to be around a person. But more and more I find myself exaggerating unconsciously, and that’s something that bothers me.

If you’ve ever known someone who has a penchant for exaggerating the truth, you can understand why I’m bothered: every post office line is three miles long, every traffic light lasts forty-five minutes, every comedian is the funniest man alive, and every fish is – you know – and I don’t want to be that guy. An intentional exaggeration is funny or pointed, but one that occurs unconsciously is an entirely different beast. When we exaggerate intentionally, it is to point out a truth that is perhaps not so readily apparent or to state the obvious thing in a funny or charming way. But when we exaggerate unintentionally, we lose our grip on truth, throw away a little bit of our reality. We agree to trade a little truth for a better story. Continued on page 7

The Sleeping Horse: Households A Recap of the Semester At the beginning of this semester, I felt I needed to engage in battle with a fearsome foe: apathetic households. I must say my worthy adversary kicked my butt so thoroughly that once I was almost dead, my rival quartered me and fed me to the birds. The battles were supposed to alert households to the fact that they are slumbering off into complacency and they are letting themselves down; they could be so much more. My plan of attack was to challenge households about problems I have observed amongst their ranks, hopefully with the result that they would send out their best champions and engage in verbal battle. This was not the case, and I had to defeat only a Goliath here and an Ajax there: No challenger reared his face at the battlefield some call “Households Have Too Much Power” and I threw my arms up in defeat and victory. Victory because I wanted to believe my wit and intelligent arguments were too intimidating for any combatant to appear before me, but defeat because I realized that it was probably the complete opposite: I was so feeble a challenger that no one took me seriously and decided I wasn’t a threat to the good of their society and just left me ranting to myself on the battlefield. My purpose was in vain: households didn’t think they had a

problem and decided not to take the challenge. As I turned to leave and make plans to wage a battle on a different front, a noble philosopher presented his side. This philosopher thought that households don’t have too much power and my example of households ousting other residents from their wing was just a matter of demeanor. He claimed that no households should have the power to kick someone off wing, but non-household students should be moved by Christian impulse and oblige the household. Although I don’t agree, I at least had something to disagree with and made note of this righteous philosopher and his courage in at least addressing a challenge. I turned to go again, realizing the time for response to my challenge had long passed when came along a stout knight. He affronted me with his own version of a witty verse, and although not amused I listened on. He was steadfast in his opinion that households should have more power and that they should expand their kingdom. Plucked up by this competition, I raised my sword and entered into the diatribe. The knight went on, staking his reputation on his illustrious rank as knight of the Blessed Virgin and saying that households should not have to lose any member on their wing to a non-household affiliated student. Knocked over by that audacious blow I fought from my knees while he went on: households should be able to

be noisy because, first of all, they aren’t the only noisy group of students and furthermore, all students should foster the ability to sleep anytime, anywhere. He finished by saying that households build character better than anything else on campus. I could not take it anymore, and rebounded from my lowly posture. Up and to the attack I claimed these to be lies. I think character is built on discipline and hard work, and being noisy late at night is the opposite of building character. It shows a lack of discipline to get to sleep by a decent hour, a disregard for dormitory rules, and probably a good indication of not using one’s time well. Disciplining oneself to go to bed early so one can get up and be awake for the next day’s activities (Mass, class, study) builds a lot of character. Studying for tests (even if one doesn’t remember them, as the knight claimed) builds character. The outcome of this battle was not decided, but I stand firm in my victory that if the argument for more household power is that households build character, then be defeated I say to you, for a house divided against itself cannot stand, and a group of people that engage in activities that do not promote the edification of character cannot build character. Continued on page 6


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