The Humor Mill Magazine

Volume 4 Issue 1 Jan 25 – Jan 31, 2009

An Inside Interview With Pastor Barry Lyons

Katt Talks Talks About About His His Katt Retirement, His His Beef Beef Retirement, With Steve Steve Harvey, Harvey, & & With His Impending Impending Case Case His

Staff

Founder / Publisher Frank Holder Chief Financial Officer Kevin Layne Editor-At- Large Sacre Wills Layout, Design & Graphic Art Editor Bernadette Holder PresidentTelevision Division Ray Murphy, Jr. TV Segment Producer Harlan Endelman Sr. Fashion Editor Melinda Brown Columnists Tony Spires David Arnold Jackie Fabulous Rodney Perry Joey Wells Publicist Jackie Thomas Movie Reviews Aarona Browning PhotographersThis Issue Allen Zaki Frank Holder Naoe Head ShotsWire Image Photos The content of this Magazine is copy written (2007-’08) by The Humor Mill Magazine, DBA Holder Publishing, LLC. and may not be reprinted or retransmitted or reproduced without proper credit given to its origin.

www.humormillmag.com http://humormillmag.blogspot.com www.youtube.com/TheHumorMilll www.myspace.com/humormillcomedynewsletter

Credits Special Thanks This Issue Katt Williams Lena Smith Maronzio Vance Tim Alexander Allen Zaki ZsanaĂŠ Davis Janell Barrett Bar Delux Level 3 In Hollywood

Katt Williams Photo Shoot

Photographer – Naoe | naoepix.com Wardrobe Stylist: Genesis Parker Makeup: Nessa Marie

Maronzio Vance Photo Shoot

Photographer- Allen Zaki Model ~ Jovonie Leonard

Magazine Digitized By Digipageit.com

Contents Comedy News

The comedy news world was sure interested in the past week for Mo’Nique’s new film titled Push, as it debuted at the Sundance Film Festival.

Plus there is news of a new Ghostbusters film, and we have an update on the new film that Eddie Murphy is looking at that will portray the life and times of Richard Pryor.

We also have some news about Tommy Davidson’s new project, the attack of Faizon Love and the attack on Katt Williams, and more.

Urban Hollywood

The Sundance Film Festival folks were the first to see the new film titled Black Dynamite, plus there is some news from the camps of Samuel L. Jackson, Idris Elba, 50 Cent and Jackie Chan. Oh yeah, there were some little nominations from some small Award Show… Kidding! See who got nominated for an Academy Award this year!

Katt Williams Candid Chronicles

In one of his most candid interviews ever to date, Katt Williams discusses his future in comedy, his current beef that he had with Steve Harveyand now with Jamie Foxx, plus his look at his case that is pending in New York. Katt also explains in detail what went down in Detroit when he was attacked by a club patron.

This is an interview you don’t want to miss!

Departments Humor Mail

As usual, here are some of the letters and emails we have gotten from you in the last couple of weeks.

Take a look at some of the reader’s thoughts and see if some of them mirror your own. Plus there are some questions that we have answered for you from our blog.

Star Spotlight~ Chico Benymon

One of the funniest comedic actors to explode on the UPN Network, Chico Benymon is our focus for our Star Spotlight. We get a chance to examine his career from his early days as a singer, to he leap into television. Plus we check out a couple of the new ventures that Chico has on tap, not to mention his new album that is about to drop. There is more here than meets the eye!

Did Comedy Save The Gospel Industry?

We have a discussion with Pastor Barry Lyons of Living Waters Of San Fernando Valley, one of the funniest Pastors around, and we decided to ask him his take on the comedy and the gospel of it all.

Departments Comedian Of The Week~ Tony Woods

After 22 years in the comedy game, and known in the comedy industry as a vet that commands the stage with his presence, we get a chance to chat with Tony Woods. The comedian discusses his years in the industry and his turns that he should have taken to maybe further his career earlier on. A very candid interview with a very candid comedian.

Style With…

Maronzio Vance

Speaking of comedians who are flying under the radar, we give you a fashionable look at a comedian who is one of the most intelligent comics out there. Using his intellect, plus every other thing within reach Vance lets you know he’s in the room.

January 20th!!!

President Barak Obama greets comedic actor Jamie Foxx on stage during the filming of We Are One: The Obama Inaugural Celebration At The Lincoln Memorial, the Opening Celebration for the 56th Presidential Inaugural in Washington, DC.

By Joey Wells What were you doing on January 20th? Well, we don’t know but we hope you were watching history. Wells gives you his account of his day, one of the most historic days and as usual, gives you much food for thought.

Photo: Kevin Mazur/HBO

Departments It’s About Time

By Tony Spires The Comedy Doctor

Our featured columnist the Comedy Doctor gives us a very insightful look at a day in the life of a big meeting for a sista! What will the day be like for her, how will big meeting go, and at the end of the day what really happens?

Movie Reviews

This week we review Paul Blart: Mall Cop and Taken.

One film is a comedy and the other film is one of the most adventurous of the year. Is Taken and Mall Cop two films to see or not? You know we always care about if the film is worth the money!

A Fraction Of Love

By Vanessa Fraction

Our new columnist gives you her version of Dear Abby with a Sista point-ofview. All of the answers are as they should be; real talk!

Check out this week’s questions to the Fraction Of Love!

Now That Barack Is In Charge

By Darryl Littleton

Another article this week from book author, comedian Darryl Littleton.

The article is from his upcoming book titled Now That Barack Is In Charge, a very insightful look into the next.

Photographer: Frank Holder

Comedians Eddie Bryant and Cory Manning after their performances at The Black Comedy Explosion in Boston hosted by Jonathan Gates.

Editor’s Page To All Of Our Readers, The most anticipated week in Black History is now over. Barak Obama is now President of the United States, and for many, we had to see him get sworn in to really believe it. I am one of those people, who had to see it, prayed with many that this day would come fast, and when the day finally arrived was overwhelmed with sheer joy. Something I never felt before; extremely proud to be an African American male in this country. The days are past now that greatest accomplishments of African Americans would only pertain to sporting events and science, but now the highest office in the world is now occupied by an African American man.

Now, thoughts over flow on what other goals and accomplishments await African Americans in this country, and unlike before, goals that can be obtained.

Signed,

Frank Holder Publisher Humor Mill Magazine

Actor Denzel Washington backstage during the filming of We Are One: The Obama Inaugural Celebration At The Lincoln Memorial, the Opening Celebration for the 56th Presidential Inaugural in Washington, DC.

Photo: Kevin Mazur/HBO

Finally proud to be an African American MALE in the USA,

Mail To The Humor Mill Magazine; I have been sitting back and reading your magazine for a while now and I have to say that I love it! But once I saw Damon Wayans on the cover I was overjoyed! Kudos to your team over there. Always something good to read, and very informative.

Patricia Jordan Glendale, CA Ed. NOTE: Thanks for the compliments. We are always trying to bring good news to the readers, and something informative.

Humor Mill: I've been following the progress of Humor Mill Magazine for almost 2 years now -- its smart, innovative and will continue to grow. Great, great things ahead.

Christina Gomes Los Angeles, CA

I am a huge fan of the Wayans family, and I always thought I was in-the-know of what was going on with them. But after reading your issue, I have to say, I guess not. I didn’t know Damon Wayans Jr., was in films already! I thought he was just in stand-up. Thanks for keeping me in the loop!

Marcia Reilly Waltham, MA

Photo: Kevin Mazur/HBO

To The Humor Mill Magazine:

R&B Singer John Legend performing on stage at We Are One: The Obama Inaugural Celebration At The Lincoln Memorial, the Opening Celebration for the 56th Presidential Inaugural in Washington, DC.

Mail The Humor Mill: Am I the only person out there that is completely mystified on how Damon Wayans JR got a film already?

I mean, I understand that his DADDY got him in and he was able to get in the business, but to get a film that he is starring in already?! What has he done that he would deserve that?

All I know is he is kinda funny on stage and he has 1, and I mean 1, stand up performance under his belt on camera on Def Comedy Jam. AND he got that because of who his Daddy is! There are funnier cats out there who deserve a shot!

Signed, A REAL COMEDIAN Brooklyn, NY Ed NOTE: If you listened or read the interview you would have discovered that Wayans did pay his “dues”. Maybe not the same “dues” as an unknown comic who doesn’t have that family name behind them, but he did go and get “his”. Please read the issue and then we can have another discussion on your thoughts.

Photo: Frank Holder

Humor Mill: Another comedian who is talented out of the Wayans family.

This family is unbelievable! They will go down in comedy history!

UNKNOWN Ed. NOTE: We agree.

Comedians Jonathan Gates and Alex Thomas after their performances at the Black Comedy Explosion located in Boston, MA.

Mail The Humor Mill:

Kim Coles Baltimore, MD Ed NOTE: Thanks! Keep on reading!

Humor Mill: Photos of the year! Amazing! Keep up the great work!

Comedic actor Jamie Foxx being interviewed by HBO during the filming of We Are One: The Obama Inaugural Celebration At The Lincoln Memorial, the Opening Celebration for the 56th Presidential Inaugural in Washington, DC.

Photo: Frank Holder

Tyler Patton Atlanta, GA

Photo: Kevin Mazur/HBO

I had to write because I loved your issue! It’s about time comedy got a good look! I also was very impressed with your photos of the year. I am really sorry that I missed some of those issues, especially earlier on in the year.

Looks like I missed some great issues. I am now an avid fan of your magazine, and I look forward to reading the news of the upcoming year. I am sure we are going to be in for some surprises for 2009!

Comedian Buddy Lewis, actresses Jazmine Lewis, Tracie Thoms, Host of the new show Altitude Trina McGee, and comedian Joe Torry backstage at the taping of the new show Altitude in Hollywood.

Mail The Humor Mill Magazine; Brian McKnight on the radio, and now on late night TV?! Wow, that could be really interesting! As long as his show isn’t as bad as Magic’s show was or VIBE’s show, we should be alright. I just get concerned when someone tries there hand at late night other than a comedian because its not as easy as it looks. People tune in and if your monolog is corny then you are done right there. I would have thought that they should have cast a comedian, cause they are trained to keep you interested.

After all, comedians such as Jay Leno and Arsenio have done that and they have done it well.

Anyway, here’s a good luck wish to Brian McKnight on his venture into late night!

Ed. NOTE: Thanks for writing. FYI- Brian isn’t going to do anything different than what he does on his radio show. Since that’s working for him, the powers-that-be thinks that might translate to good TV ratings.

Photo: Kevin Mazur/HBO

UNKNOWN

To The Humor Mill; Brian McKnight on TV! WOW! Can’t wait to see him before I go to bed…☺ The Biggest Brian McKnight Fan in Florida.

R&B Singers Stevie Wonder and Usher backstage before their performance at We Are One: The Obama Inaugural Celebration At The Lincoln Memorial, the Opening Celebration for the 56th Presidential Inaugural in Washington, DC.

Mail The Humor Mill Magazine; After reading all of the news of the year I was surprised that so much went on. I can honestly say that it seemed to me Eddie Murphy and Katt Williams had very interesting years. It felt like forever when Murphy was even linked to Mel B and all of the nonsense with Tracy Edmonds. But the year got more interesting to me for Katt as it seems like his life is all over the place. His arrest and then him getting attacked in Detroit…Maybe he has a lot of negative energy around him and he is drawing it to him. I don’t know. But I am a fan of his forever! Oh yeah, I am looking forward to a black version of Ocean’s 11. I think that would be really nice to see, all of those fine black men on screen. Can’t wait to see! Keep up the good work, and please give us more gossip!

UNKNOWN Atlanta, GA Ed. NOTE: Sorry we don’t do the gossip, but thanks anyway.

Photo: Frank Holder

CORRECTIONS FROM LAST ISSUE! There were too many to name, but thanks to your letter we know about all of them! Besides the minor typos we had, there we really too many to name. ☺ Hey, what can we say? We are doing the best that we can, especially without a full time Editor!

Anyway, If you want to send us an email about the articles or your thoughts, all you have to do is send us an email to info@humormillmag.com for all of your comments. Some of these emails and other correspondence may be printed right here in these pages!

Wendy Raquel Robinson after taping her interview backstage at the taping of the new show titled Altitude to be broadcast on BET J in Hollywood.

L-R: Harold Ramis, Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Ernie Hudson & Ivan Reitman One of the biggest stories we uncovered in the past week was news that Columbia Pictures is in the planning stages of a new installment of its blockbuster Ghostbusters franchise. We first heard that the films’ Producers were planning to bring back together the original cast of Harold Ramis, Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Ernie Hudson and Ivan Reitman possibly to direct, as he directed both the 1984 original and the sequel that was released in 1989. But the latest news in that now the producers are in talk to do a remake and cast a whole new cast. If you remember Ghostbusters was Columbia's highest grossing film ever, until it was beaten by Men in Black and then Spider-Man. Stay tuned.

L-R: Mo’Nique, Paula Patton, Lenny Kravitz & Mariah Carey Again as previously reported, Mo'Nique, everyone's favorite Mother from the hit show UPN's The Parkers added another VILLAIN to her resume. Mo'Nique, who turned lots of heads from her dramatic performance in the films Domino and Shadowboxer, is now in the new film titled Push. The film, based on the best-selling book of the same name, boasted an all-star cast including Paula Patton, Lenny Kravitz, Mariah Carey, Kimberly Russell, Gabourey Sidibe (in the starring role), and Sherri Shepherd of ABC's The View. If you have not heard, Mo'Nique plays the main character's very abusive and evil mother in the film. Push is a film that is the story of a confused, overweight African-American girl named Clareece "Precious" Jones. Verbally and sexually abused by her family, her troubles lead to problems in school. Precious, as she is known, has no friends, no money, two kids (from her father), and she's illiterate. After being accepted into an alternative school where a teacher (played by Patton) helps her find an alternative path in her life. Along her journey, she comes across a concerned social worker (played by Carey) and a nurse (played by Kravitz) who shows her much kindness. Anyway expect big things from the new film titled Push during next year’s Award season. Why do we say that? Well the film was the biggest winner at the 2009 Sundance Film Festival, taking both the grand jury prize and the audience award in the U.S. dramatic competition. Usually, that’s a pretty good indication of garnering some Awards during voting season.

Photo: Kevin Mazur/HBO

George Lopez and Steve Carell backstage during the filming of We Are One: The Obama Inaugural Celebration At The Lincoln Memorial, the Opening Celebration for the 56th Presidential Inaugural in Washington, DC.

Eddie Murphy

As we stated a couple of weeks ago, word is that comedian Eddie Murphy is being set to play the late great comedian Richard Pryor in a film that will portray Pryor's lifeand death. So far, the studio has approached Murphy and contracts are being negotiated for this project to move forward quickly, as Murphy has expressed extreme interest to play the role. The film is being set up by the Weinstein's via their Weinstein Company Production Banner.

Richard Pryor Tommy Davidson We also reported that comedic actor Tommy Davidson (Of In Living Color & Booty Call fame) has recently completed a new project from Will Smith's production company Overbrook Entertainment. The new project is a animation project titled Young Un's, which we hear is based loosely on Will Smith as a kid in Junior High School growing up in Philadelphia. The show will be broadcast on Nickelodeon by the fall.

Faizon Love

In case you haven’t heard comedian and actor Faizon Love (probably most famous for his part as Big Worm in the Ice Cube film Friday) has recently turned up as a suspect in a battery that took place a couple of weeks ago in West Hollywood. The Police report says Love struck a man in the head with his fist outside the Standard Hotel. But by the time cops arrived, Love had left the scene. Our sources have discovered that Love was provoked and called many racial slurs while leaving the establishment, and reacted. Our sources have also told us that the man involved in the altercation with Love has since apologized to him and did not want to make this matter "any bigger" than what it already was, but due to others, he was lead to move this matter further in hopes to land the case in civil court.

Photo: Kevin Mazur/HBO

As we stated last issue, the newest film from the Wayans Brothers and the new starring vehicle for Damon Wayans Jr., titled Dance Flick has been officially pushed back from a February release to August 14th. No word on why the studio decided to push the film from this originally planned date, but as we get more info on this we will let you know. Dance Flick is the latest parody from the Wayans Brothers, as they jump from the Scary Films franchise to their own unique take on all of the dance films that have been released.

Damon Wayans, Jr. As we reported several months ago and followed up with on our blog last week that comedic actor Chris Rock is taking a new venture- a new film titled Good Hair to the big screen -or maybe the little screen first. As we also stated Rock finally finished his documentary that examines the cultural pressures that forces black women into expensive, often painful methods to care for their hair. Rock said he first got the idea to explore the subject during a tour stop in Atlanta in the mid1990s, when he came across a glitzy convention for black stylists known as the Bronner Brothers Chris Rock Hair Show. The film follows Rock from the Bronner Brothers show to neighborhood salons, businesses dealing in hair-care products and the streets of India, where the hair weave industry is rooted. Rock recently screened the film at the Sundance Film Festival where it was received with an enthusiastic reception, bolstering his hopes that it can find a broad audience. Produced by HBO, Good Hair eventually will air on the cable channel, but Rock and his collaborators are considering a theatrical release first. The latest update since this report is we hear that the film is extremely close to a distribution deal, probably with HBO. According to Katt Williams as he was being interviewed on Detroit Radio Station WJLB a couple of weeks ago, he was slapped after an impromptu performance at the very popular Detroit Club titled Cutter's. Katt stated during the interview that he made reference to cowboy boots and a cowboy hat that a guy was wearing while sitting in the front row. After his performance the guy approached him and slapped him. See our complete interview with Katt during our cover story for a complete account of the altercation.

Katt Williams

Photo: Kevin Mazur/HBO

Singers Usher and Beyonce Knowles backstage during the filming of We Are One: The Obama Inaugural Celebration At The Lincoln Memorial, the Opening Celebration for the 56th Presidential Inaugural in Washington, DC.

L-R: Cocoa Brown, Willie Brown & Woody & Benji Brown

We have also discovered that the new comedy tour tackling the comedy industry right now has a new twist; everyone on the tour has the last name “Brown”. The tour is titled The Browns of Comedy Tour and is comprised of Steve Brown, Cocoa Brown, Pat Brown, Willie Brown and Woody, Benji Brown, DooDoo Brown, and Spanky Brown. Check out www.thebrownsofcomedy.com for more info. Speaking of Woody Brown, he just taped a pilot for TBS titled The TBS Comedy Road Show hosted by Harland Williams. The show was taped at the Grand Opry Theater in Macon, GA.

L-R: Jonathan Slocumb, Sinbad & Lalah Hathaway We also have to congratulate comedian Jonathan Slocumb as he recently inked a deal with BET J titled Comic’s Conversation with Jonathan Slocumb and is set to premiere in the fall. The show is a thirty (30) minute show featuring one-on-one conversations with comedians “on the couch” and will feature a live in studio band (The PJ Morton Band). Also each episode will feature a live musical performance. We hear that the first episode will feature comedian Sinbad and musical artist Lalah Hathaway.

Speaking of congratulations, we have to say some are in order for comedian Rodney Perry as he has joined The Mo’Nique Radio Show which is currently being broadcast in syndication over the Super Radio Networks. Perry is one of the co-hosts of the show.

Rodney Perry

Top L-R: Usher, Mary J. Blige & Forrest Whittaker Bottom L-R: Bon Jovi, The Edge, Bruce Springsteen, Bono & Usher We Are One: The Obama Inaugural Celebration At The Lincoln Memorial, the Opening Celebration for the 56th Presidential Inaugural in Washington, DC.

Photo: Kevin Mazur/HBO

L-R: Michael Jai White, Kym Whitley & Salli Richardson Whitfield

As we reported last week, in the first all-night acquisition of the Sundance Film Festival, we discovered that Sony Pictures Worldwide Acquisitions Group has grabbed Midnight title Black Dynamite for $2 million. The film Black Dynamite is the story of 1970s African-American action legend Black Dynamite. The film description states that The Man killed his brother, pumped heroin into local orphanages, and flooded the ghetto with adulterated malt liquor. Black Dynamite was the one hero willing to fight The Man all the way from the blood-soaked city streets to the hallowed halls of the Honky House. Black Dynamite stars Michael Jai White (of Spawn fame), Kym Whitley, Salli Richardson, John Salley, Miguel Nunez, Jr., Chris Spencer, Brian McKnight, Arsenio Hall, and Tommy Davidson just to name a few of the cameos.

Samuel L. Jackson Jim Cavizel

In case you haven’t heard, actor Samuel L. Jackson has recently agreed to star as a bad guy again in Columbia Pictures' remake of Berry Gordy's 1985 cult classic The Last Dragon. We hear that Jackson will play Sho'nuff, the Shogun of Harlem, a role played in the original by the late Julius Carry, whose infamous quotes included questions like "Am I the baddest mofo lowdown around this town?" Each time his gang of thugs answered, "Sho 'nuff!" The updated plot will be along the same lines of the original, centering on young martial arts student Leroy Green in his quest through the streets of New York to achieve the highest level of martial arts accomplishment, known as the Last Dragon. Those who achieve the high ranking possess the Glow, making them the greatest fighter alive. The project will take a new look at Last Dragon coinciding with the 50th anniversary of Motown next year. That’s not it for Jackson; he also signed on for the action thriller titled Blown, starring opposite Jim Caviezel. The film centers on Will Matlock (Caviezel), a top MI5 operative whose routine investigation of a global corporation leads him to discover an imminent terrorist attack. Jackson will play Julian Lezard, the businessman who engages him in a high-stakes game of wits and deception. Matlock must attempt to stop him before he destroys all of London, according to the studio.

Photo: Frank Holder

Actress Kenya Moore and actor/singer Tyrese Gibson at Moore’s Birthday Celebration in Hollywood.

The biggest news this past week in Urban Hollywood centered on two actresses Taraji P. Henson and Viola Davis. Henson was nominated for Best Supporting Actress for the film The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, the film which led Academy Awards contenders with 13 nominations including best picture, best actor for Brad Pitt, and a best director for David Fincher. Joining Henson in the category is Davis earned her first Oscar nomination for her role in the film titled Doubt. The Academy Awards will be presented on Sunday, February 22, 2009, at the Kodak Theatre and televised live by the ABC Television Network. The Oscar presentation also will be televised live in more than 200 countries worldwide.

Taraji P. Henson

Brad Pitt

Viola Davis Idris Elba

Jada Pinkett Smith

We hear that actor Idris Elba (of American Gangster, Rocknrolla, and The Wire fame) is about to jump into the comedy industry as he is set star in a multiepisode story arc on NBC's Emmy Award-winning hit comedy The Office. Elba will play the new no-nonsense hire at Dunder Mifflin's corporate office that will throw Michael Scott (Steve Carell) into turmoil. Next up for Elba is the film titled Obsessed, due out on April 24, and in Jada Pinkett Smith's directorial debut, The Human Contract. Elba also just wrapped production on Bone Deep, opposite Hayden Christensen and Matt Dillon.

Photo: Frank Holder

Show Host Trina McGee and choreographer Dave Scott after taping the new show for BET J titled Altitude in Hollywood.

Curtis “50 Cent� Jackson

Nicholas Cage

Val Kilmer

Rapper 50 Cent is trying to jump into mogul status, and his first couple of steps are there, especially since he recently turned into an actor. 50 recently unveiled his plans for Cheetah Vision, a film production company at the Sundance Film Festival.

His first movie, a boxing drama, is already underway titled The Dance. The film will star 50 and Nicholas Cage. The film is about the founder of a boxing program who goes to state prison. Later this year, 50 Cent will star in Streets of Blood with Val Kilmer and Sharon Stone, as well as 13 with Mickey Rourke. His next album, Before I Self Destruct, will be released in March 2009.

We also heard a couple of weeks ago that action star Jackie Chan is in final negotiations to join the Columbia Pictures remake of The Karate Kid, which has been revamped as a starring vehicle for Will Smith's son Jaden. Word is Chan is in talks to play the role of mentor Mr. Miyagi, made famous by Pat Morita in the original franchise. The movie is scheduled to begin shooting early this summer in Beijing. Set in an exotic Asian locale, the new film will borrow elements of the original plot, which followed a bullied youth (Smith) who learns to stand up for himself with the help of an eccentric mentor played by Chan.

Jaden Smith

Jackie Chan

Photo: Kevin Mazur/HBO Sheryl Crow and Mary J. Blige backstage during the filming of We Are One: The Obama Inaugural Celebration At The Lincoln Memorial, the Opening Celebration for the 56th Presidential Inaugural in Washington, DC.

Cicely Tyson

Michael Beach

Micheal Michele

Eric La Salle

We hear that Cicely Tyson, Michael Michele, Eriq La Salle and Michael Beach will all star in the upcoming Hallmark Channel Original Movie titled Relative Stranger, which is a family drama premiering Saturday, March 14th. The film is about a character that after learning of the death of his overbearing father, former football hero Walter Clemons (played by La Salle) comes home to Los Angeles to claim his share of the estate. Having abandoned his family six years earlier, Walter is in for a tough trip – a visit which involves dealing with the hurts he inflicted on his wife, Charlotte (Michele), their children, Denise (Davis) and Andy (McCullers) and his own brother, James (Beach), who has become a surrogate father to the kids. Can he count on his mother (Tyson) to help him through this emotional obstacle course, or is it best for all that he return to the empty life from which he came? While Andy was too young to remember his father – or his leaving - the wounds are still far too fresh for teenager Denise, herself a young athlete, who has no interest in seeing her father return to cause more harm. His estranged wife and brother have each moved on in their own way, challenging Walter’s relationships with both. His elderly mother, wise with age, tries to guide the family through their struggles with one another – but will Walter, a recovering alcoholic, be able to survive the emotional onslaught his family brings to the table, as well as his own?

L-R: Bruce Springsteen, will.i.am, Beyonce Knowles, Samuel L. Jackson and George Lopez on stage during Beyonce’s performance at during the filming of We Are One: The Obama Inaugural Celebration At The Lincoln Memorial, the Opening Celebration for the 56th Presidential Inaugural in Washington, DC.

Photo: Kevin Mazur/HBO

Little did anyone know that when they saw the character Money Mike (from the film Friday After Next) run down the street being chased by the just-released-from prison Damon (played by Terry Crews) that Katt Williams’ run would parallel his comedy career. At that time, many people noticed the funny comedian on screen, and like Chris Tucker before him, wondered who he was and grew to love his comedic wit instantly. As it turned out, Money Mike was, at that point, going to be etched into the Holly-Hood Hall of Fame as one of the funniest characters to ever be in film.

That’s what many would say Katt’s run in comedy has been like since his onscreen debut; full throttle. You may not have known that Katt, a native of Ohio, had been in comedy for many years before that. Many didn’t even know that Williams had his own comedy room for years at The Hollywood Park Casino and had such a huge following that the comedy community had already taken notice.

But after that performance in Friday After Next, life was full throttle for Williams.

His Pimp-ish persona had taken his comedy to a whole new level.

After the film, Williams landed in several other projects and he had his audience wanting more, and like Hollywood usually does, snatched him up right when he was already gaining considerable heat in the ’hood. Witness his performance on the BET Comedy Awards and you will see that star born right there on stage.

Williams had the audience so engaged in his comedy that the shows producers had to interrupt his brief monolog because he was stealing the show’s purpose. It was supposedly the BET Comedy Awards, not the Katt Williams Tour. (The BET execs did take notice several years later, hence his hiring to bring that same stage presence several years later to BET when they jumped in to the Hip Hop Arena left wide open with the collapse of the Source Awards, as they launched their own Hip Hop Awards show titled The BET Hip Hop Awards and hired Katt to Host.) It can be said that the moment on stage can be the comedy equivalent to Michael Jackson’s performance of Beat It on the 25th Anniversary of Motown in 1983.

As we said, his comedy career has been in full throttle since then. Landing on several TV shows such as Nick Cannon’s Wild N’ Out, Girlfriends, Cuts, The Tracy Morgan Show, and in films such as First Sunday and Norbit his career took off.

Add 300 dates on his It’s Pimpin Pimpin’ Comedy Tour, plus over 17 million in ticket sales later, a comedy special that was the highest viewed comedy special on HBO for 2005 and 2006, and you have a comedy career that most comedians crave for.

But in the last several months one has to wonder did any of that take it’s toll on Williams. In the past year Williams was arrested on weapons charges hours before he was scheduled to appear at a Carnegie Hall concert performance in New York just hours before show time at the New York Comedy Festival. Then there was the missed performance at the 2008 Comedy Festival in Las Vegas due to “fatigue”, a missed Conan O'Brien appearance and hospitalization. It has been reported that Katt had some health issues, and reported that they were the result of a very brutal touring schedule. After all, he did just wrap up 300 tour dates.

There was also an altercation with Steve Harvey just before New Year’s that lead up to a New Year’s Eve Show and Katt getting attacked in Detroit several days later while still in Detroit. We got a chance to speak to Katt about everything, and here is a portion of the interview.

“He (Steve Harvey) waited until I said I was retiring, and that was going to be my last show, then on his show he decided he was going to make that the

Championship of Comedy…

And then tried to flip it again and become the victim, and then tried to get Jamie (Foxx), Speedy, and Johnny Mack and whoever those girls are to come and go against me. On something that doesn’t even involve them, as if they are not gonna have to see me in the flesh. You made those statements like I am a dead dude, I am not dead. I am so alive.”

HM: Katt first question I have to ask you is, are you going to be retired? I know you just did 300 hundred dates, so how are you feeling about doing stand up comedy right now?

KW: I am not sure about what part of retired is open for discussion. But I think people retire when they are done working. I did the work then I retired.

HM: So you would be open to doing stand up comedy if it came down the pike but right now you are just leaving that open?

KW: Where did you even get that from? I am retired. That means I am done, that doesn’t mean if something else comes “down the pike.” I have been doing stand up for 18 years, that’s long enough for it to get up and get out the house right?

HM: So anymore 150 dates coming down the pike for you to do?

KW: Sir, I am sorry, but maybe you are not understanding what I said. I said I am retired from stand-up. That means its done, there is no “down the pike”. I been down the pike already.

It was almost brilliant of you to pick out a comedian, by the name of Steve Harvey to try to create a comedian vs. comedian type of battle. Did you plan that, or did you pick out Steve Harvey because you were bothered by something he said or did?

KW: Steve Harvey did all of that. The whole show, the idea of the show, the planning of the show, all of that was Steve’s doing. He did all of that. He waited until I said I was retiring, and that was going to be my last show then on his show he decided he was going to make it the “Championship of Comedy”, and he did all of that. None of that was my doing. I wasn’t even involved in it on that level.

He was the initial person supposed to be doing the date, I was only supposed to be coming in to help sell tickets and then he flipped it and made it into something he shouldn’t have made it with me. And then he tried to flip it again and become the victim and then tried to get Jamie and Speedy and Johnny Mack and who ever them girls are to come and go against me on something that doesn’t even involve them as if they are not going to have to see them in the flesh. Like you made those statement like you was talking about a dead dude, I am not dead, I am so alive. So Steve dug his own grave, why he thought he was going to beat me the way he came out I don’t know. But that’s not what happened. I am not sure why people do what they been doing. I have been getting assassinated on all fronts. But its okay, at the end of the day the truth is still the truth. There aint nothin’ they can do about it.

HM: So, I heard about your animated project and you have a couple of things coming up, DVD coming out. Can you talk about your animation project, your DVD, your album or any of your projects that you may have coming out?

KW: Well, I just broke up with one of the best relationships I have ever had in my life, recently. So I am still in a mourning, grieving process. Me and stand-up had quit a fling. So I have to first deal with that bit of separation first so then I will be able to take all of the energy, and all of the passion and everything that was going there and be able to move it in these other directions to be able to do the things that I have to do. But I refuse to do anything that’s not good. I just want to do what’s good, what’s hot, what’s going to be funny and I have enough projects that I can do to keep my fan base completely happy. They will be happy with the out put coming from our camp, so that’s my main focus.

HM: Everybody across the country also heard about your case. I know you can’t go into details, but can you give your fans an outlook on how good it looks for you right now? WATCH KATT’S RESPONSE- the answer he states will surprise you about his case! See the complete interview with Katt here: www.humormillmag.com

“… I just broke up with one of the best relationships I have ever had in my life, recently.

So I am still in a mourning, grieving process… Me and stand-up had quite a fling…”

This week we were able to speak to a comedic veteran in the game of comedy, comedian Tony Woods. For twenty-two (22) years Woods has been gracing comedy stages with his funny wit, and his very different and distinct voice. Tony has also been on TV, with many appearances that include HBO’s Def Comedy Jam, NBC’s Last Comic Standing, A&E’s Caroline’s Comedy Hour, Showtime At the Apollo, NBC’s Friday Night Videos, Just For Laughs and even non comedic roles appearing on N.Y.P.D. Blue, just to name a few. Born in North Carolina, Tony was raised in the D.C. area and currently resides in Silver Spring, Md., and is now touring Europe and the Middle East, bringing his unique brand of comedy to audiences around the world. We got a chance to catch up with Woods to discuss his career goals, his path in comedy and where is his career path leading to. Here is a portion of the interview.

Humor Mill: You are one of those New York-type comics who come out and seek and destroy very quickly. What got you into the comedy game?

Tony Woods: I guess my friends did. People telling me I was funny. I didn’t decide I was funny. I am not one of those guys who decided that “ I’m funny!”

Most people told me, ‘you are funny, you need to do this,” so I do this.

HM: We have seen you on TV doing your stand-up, what would you say is one of the high lights of your stand up performance and what did you like the best?

TW: Of course the original Def Comedy Jams, that’s when it was hot. It was real electric back then, it was new and…I mean I had done television before that. I had done a few things on Showtime Network, and other little stuff like Caroline’s Comedy Hour. But then I did that and it was like “Bang!”. I was walking through the airport and people stopped me… A Lot of extra stuff started coming my way.

HM: What did you take a way from your first Def Comedy Jam experience?

TW: I look back on it now and I realize that I shouldn’t have looked so “polished” that’s what I feel like. On the first one I look a little more polished, a little more taken care of. It made people assume “oh well, he’s already under management, he’s already got a big agency, he’s already headed in the right direction to do big things. So, I think so of the guys that were managers and agents back then didn’t gel to me because they figured “well, he’s already taken care of”. Which I wasn’t. I was just polished. So what I took away from that was maybe I should have been a little bit more humble and maybe I would have been a little bit further along. Man I don’t know. That’s just me talking. I just ate a big meal.

To hear the complete interview from Tony Woods please click here: http://humormill.podhoster.com/

Photo: Frank Holder Actor William L. Johnson at Kenya Moore’s Birthday Celebration in Hollywood.

The question for this article is simple; did comedy save the gospel industry? One could easily answer simply “yes” and say it did. But as in college with the debates team you could easily say that gospel was around before comedy, and will be around as long as man walks the earth. But then again so will comedy, as everyone loves to laugh. Maybe that’s what Pastor Barry Lyons of In Living Waters Church in the San Fernando Valley does so methodically with his sermons; his insertion of laughter to the Church saw his congregation grow quickly, from a few people to easily over of thousand in a matter of months. Is it the word of God or is it the laughter that this native New Jersey bred Pastor brings every week to the masses or both? We decided to take a look and see for ourselves.

After our research we discovered that before the success of the gospel play industry (which is heavily laced with comedy), gospel plays saw a general boost in sales in the mid 90’s reach the millions and garner the attention of Hollywood because of the sales boost, the average age of most Church goers was middle aged. After the success of the Gospel Play industry and the rise of the gospel music industry, the mass audience had an insurgence of youth in churches nation wide. As stated, gospel plays are comedic plays with a touch of gospel, but they all have a very climatic end with the main characters becoming blessed and lead from their circumstance. Did the gospel plays had anything to do with this leap in ticket sales and in gospel music?

To try to seek this answer we decided to ask how each plays a role in the other by asking Pastor Barry Lyons, (the Senior Pastor of In Living Waters Church) what his thoughts are about comedy and gospel, how each plays a role in the other and what he thinks are the current circumstances of the industry today with both. Why did we decide to ask him? Well, Pastor Barry Lyons is one of the funniest Pastors in Los Angeles. With the ability to deliver the Lord’s message weekly while inserting comedy to keep his audience engaged in his sermon we wanted to see if there is a method to his sermons, why he uses comedy, and what he thinks about comedy’s role in gospel. Here is a portion of our interview.

Humor Mill Magazine: First, how did you get from the East coast to the west coast in land in Los Angeles?

Pastor Barry Lyons: I got to the west coast from New Jersey over a course of several years. I began Pastoring in West Philadelphia and the Church that I Pastored initially was the Resurrection Baptist Church in West Philly, and is the Church that Will Smith and his family always belonged to and grew up in.

While I was there, the Church grew really fast, and I just felt a call to move to Texas to a very large Church. While we were there, Will and Jada and their family supported our Church in a great way and the opportunity came to for us to move our ministry to Southern California. Never thought we would be here, but we decided to step out on faith and come here. When we got here we literally have grown from nothing to about a thousand members, and its just been a wonderful journey. All the people that we have been talking to, and ministering to, and developing this great Church that is really “out of the box” not the usual, but we think is really effective to help people.

HM: What would you say is your “style” when you preach?

BL: I like to think of my “style” as “common” and I use that word to describe I believe my communication style, and that is to be able to take complex stories, issues, and concepts and relate them in a common way, where everyone can get it.

Doesn’t matter if it’s through examples, physical examples, through skits, through props, through comedy, singing, musical expression, I believe that what we are talking about is extremely important. So its great to come to Church and people sweat and have a good time, and I holler a lil’ bit. But really if we leave and that’s all we have done then we haven’t really been effective. So I would describe my style as “common”, most of the important things we have ever heard, the funniest things that we have ever heard, the most comical things we have ever heard, always happen in common settings. They happen in a barbershop, beauty salon, at a family reunion, at a kitchen table.

So I like for people to come to Living Waters and feel like they are around a kitchen table, or at the barbershop, where you can have a great comment, great insight and a a lot of times great laugh.

To see the rest of the article please click here: http://humormill.podhoster.com/

Top L-R: Dr. Jill Biden, Vice-President Joe Biden, President Barack Obama, Sasha, First Lady Michelle & Malia Obama Bottom L-R: Forrest Whittaker, Jamie Foxx & will.i.am Backstage at We Are One: The Obama Inaugural Celebration At The Lincoln Memorial, the Opening Celebration for the 56th Presidential Inaugural in Washington, DC.

Photo: Kevin Mazur/HBO

Photo: Kevin Mazur/HBO

President Barack Obama during the filming of We Are One: The Obama Inaugural Celebration At The Lincoln Memorial, the Opening Celebration for the 56th Presidential Inaugural in Washington, DC.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop (Comedy) Cast: Kevin James, Keir O'Donnell, Jayma Mays, Raini Rodriguez, Shirley Knight Directed By: Steve Carr

In another Happy Madison Production (Adam Sandler’s Production Company) this film delivers in that same style of comedy like all of the rest. Very silly, but will still make you bust out laughing at times. The story line is very simple; an overweight single, lonely Dad named Paul Blart (Kevin James), tries unsuccessfully several times to join the New Jersey State Police because of a sleep disorder. Since Blart can’t pass the Physical Examine of the test he continues on the job as a Security Officer at the local mall. While trying to land a date with the help of his daughter (Raini Rodriguez) with another mall employee (Jayma Mays) the mall is taken over by a group of skate boarding terrorists. Then the laughs really come rolling in. Would I recommend this film?

The short answer is simple; if you love Adam Sadler type comedy then - yes. If you don’t like that type of physical comedy then maybe you should pass. But I will say that this film is right up the alley for the local teens who filled the audience with many laughs.

Taken (Action) Cast: Liam Neeson, Maggie Grace, Famke Janssen, Leland Orser, Jon Gries Directed By: Pierre Morel This film’s story line is very simple enough; A former government operative Bryan Mills (Liam Neeson) begins the longest 96-hours of his life – and the hunt for the fearsome organization that has taken his daughter Kim (Maggie Grace).

But to say that the film is that simple after seeing it would really discredit it. This film is easily one of the best action films that I have seen in a while and I truly enjoyed it. The action sequences really made me think a lot of Jason Bourne and the Bourne trilogy, but the difference is Mills knows exactly who he is, and who he is after. The sequences are brilliant and the fighting scenes are well choreographed. For all of those who are action junkies and you can’t wait to see the summer films, well guess what? Summer arrived early. A must see.

Photo: Kevin Mazur/HBO

President Barack Obama speaking at We Are One: The Obama Inaugural Celebration At The Lincoln Memorial, the Opening Celebration for the 56th Presidential Inaugural in Washington, DC.

CHAPTER XVII – Not Just Because The country now has leadership it can feel confident about. There’s a renewed atmosphere of unity and belonging. Kind of reminds me of when we have the Olympics. Every race and sub-culture in this nation can give dirty looks and call names until an American athlete wins a medal (preferable gold) and then we’re all on the same side, rocking back and forth arm-in-arm swigging beer and saying what a great place this is to live – that is until the Olympics is over and it’s back to hatred as usual.

Well, Barack Obama is bringing people together. We all saw the inauguration.

Once you got past the hilarious and poetic sight of Dick Cheney trembling in a wheel chair (his latest condition obviously brought on by Barack’s residence change) or the horror of seeing Joe Biden’s mama replace Barbara Bush as the ugliest woman in Washington, you probably noticed all the various races, creeds and colors in support of Barack. I’m sure a number of you who couldn’t make it to DC yourselves imagined lurid exchanges with many of the new black lovers if you were there. Don’t lie – black is back in and a lot of you intend to take full advantage of it.

In this new age America might finally catch up to some of the other nations around the globe – where a black person is a person first and black second. Where spotting a mixed couple is no more cause for alarm than spotting a pothole. Over here when it’s seen the reaction is incriminating stares accompanied by huffing and puffing; eye rolling and perhaps a muffled comment along the lines of “Tom” or “What’s wrong with sisters?” or “Black men ain’t good enough for you?” Granted most of this comes from the old guard, but them muthaf*ckas ain’t all gonna die any time soon and neither will the ignorance. That’s why I believe in aliens. I can’t imagine that earthlings are the best God could do.

Barack’s ascension makes all that type of thinking so 20th century. In the new era we’re about building and rebuilding relationships all over the world. It’s time to make up and reach our hands across the seas to cement co-operation and understanding. Ummm, last time this kind of lingo was spewed is right before the explorers headed out to see what riches they could claim and what women they could screw; which brings me to the point of this chapter – don’t go all international just because you can.

I’m not writing this because of any pressure initiated by a black woman and/or women. I’m not out to save the black-on-black relationship. Frankly I’ve ran across more than a few bitter sisters and some deserve the fate of the vibrator they abuse nightly, afternoonly and in the wee hours of the morn.

I prefer black women be ignored by black men who choose to abuse them, crush their spirits and destroy their self esteem. You sorry niggas are the reason many of these sisters got bitter in the first place. Thanks, assholes. I’ve dated many of your leftovers.

See, I empathize with the black woman. I’ve got a daughter. It’s a daughter I helped raise first hand. This bears mentioning because I got to see various knuckleheads come by the house with an innocent look, but the unmistakable scent of someone who could hardly wait to play hide-the-salami. At first my daughter didn’t want me to meet her male callers (you better call first nigga). She thought because I’m a comedian I’d make stupid jokes like, “Don’t f*ck my daughter, ha ha!” Or that I might throw itching powder on him or some old crazy sh*t. Since that never happened I gained her trust and discovered that there’s a lot of goofy ass dudes out there.

The new generation doesn’t have the stigma of inter racial interaction. I met goofy dudes from all races. They didn’t realize that slapping her mama’s ass and commenting on how good she looked don’t set well with the black man. They didn’t get that looking me up and down and saying they would’ve never guessed a girl that pretty could come from a guy who looks likes me really isn’t a compliment. I was offended most of the time, but then I figured out that depending on how familiar you are with a culture, you could be the goofy dude.

For instance, I’m currently involved with an African woman. I sort of feel like a male Michelle Obama (minus the elongated Jay Leno chin), since I’m a black American - my people can be directly traced to Alabama and slave quarters. When I tried to trace my roots they told me who bought my family at auction, not what tribe set sail that day.

Alex Haley was fraud, but that’s another chapter. Anyway, my Nubian has enlightened me as to how ignorant most Americans are when it comes to knowledge of our African counterparts. If you watch late night TV you’d get the impression that all Africans live in huts and spend most of their time fending off flies while well-intentioned white folks stroll through their village with camera crews requesting money to save them from such a fate.

Stupid shit like that. Another dumb ass myth is how the women of Africa can’t give proper head because of the plate in their bottom lip. All this is ridiculous. That’s what my girl told me, right after I finished eating a chicken bone and she picked it up off the plate and stuck it through her nose.

However, I didn’t get into a situation with an African to prove how black or militant I am or any of that. I’ve had relationships with women all over the world and that’s not bragging. I’m a traveled comedian and writer so it’s more a part of the occupation and if not I just made it so. The point is when I messed with Latin women, Latin men didn’t like it. When an Asian woman made her desires known I could feel the cold stare of the Asian male upon me and feared I’d have my skin pierced by those little star shaped metal objects they throw in the Kung Fu flicks. And as far as white women, seems everybody has a bone to pick with that one. Are you doing it to get back at black people or to get back at white people?

Like I said previously, all this backwards thinking needs to go into the trash bin of the past.

Now that Barack is in charge we need to expand our horizons and dream anything our imaginations can manufacture. I’m simply stating that natural attraction is one thing and setting out to prove some asinine point is another. Don’t date a person just because of their race. It’s like dating because of financial status or looks; good for a brief while, but eventually that muthafucka is going to get on your nerves. If you don’t like white music, white food or white entertainment – why date a white person? You can’t stand spaghetti or gangster movies, but you’re hooking up with an Italian. Ever see “Jungle Fever”, fool?

Think chop sticks are whack and Bruce Lee was a pussy, but you think you’re going to sport an Asian on your arm (or walking behind you). This is that old missionary mentality. These races have been around for ages and the opportunities to engage them have existed since you first saw a rep of the breed. So now that our international liaison is in high office doesn’t fire off the starting pistol of racial pillaging. If you’re not ready for the internal as well as external problems, stay away. You’ll only damage the credibility of blacks who can make the transition and return unscathed if need be; without a trace of resentment for the race as opposed to the individual. A different race mate doesn’t make you any worldlier; it just means you hooked up with somebody who doesn’t look like one of your parents. Here’s the test. If when you talk about them you mention where they’re from - you might want to check yourself. You’re more obsessed with the place and not the person. Anyway, I’d love to write more, but my African needs the computer to order some eye of newt.

This week’s Star Spotlight drops on actor Chico Benymon, (born Theron Benymon on August 7, 1974 in New York), who is an actor, singer, musician, fashion designer, photographer just to name a few, and who is probably best known for his role as Andre "Spencer" Williams on the UPN comedy Half & Half. But for those of you who don’t know, Chico is also a singer and has been singing since he was 2 years old. Born and raised in Amityville, New York, Chico has been singing in church and started playing the piano at the age of five. He went on to win awards for playing the piano in school and played organ for his home church St. John's Baptist church in Copiague, New York. At the age of 16, he went on to perform at the famous Apollo Theatre where he went on to win 1st place three times in a row. After a long conversation with Will Smith, and after seeing Smith act on the set of Enemy Of The State, Chico felt he wanted to try other avenues besides singing-mainly acting, so he moved to Los Angeles. Within a week there he got his start in Hollywood landing a TV show, all this while he was with the R&B group Tra-knox who was signed to Will Smith’s Overbrook Entertainment at the time. He sang on the movie soundtrack Wild Wild West, Millennium and Will Smith's Born To Reign album. He has appeared in music videos as well.

While doing the album, Chico broadened out and jumped into acting in 2001 guest starring on two episodes of the hit comedy Moesha as "Lamont". Also in 2001 he had a small role in Will Smith's movie Ali as the Hampton House announcer.

Chico got his big break in 2002 when he landed a starring role on the hit UPN sitcom Half & Half. Half & Half aired from 2002-2006 and put Chico on the acting map. After the series ended, Chico was featured in the TV movie Life Is Not a Fairy Tale: The Fantasia Barrino Story, as Rodney Birk. His acting career continued as he was featured in the sold out 2007 musical/stage play Men, Money and Goldiggers which also stars actress Robin Givens, Miguel A. Núñez Jr., and R&B singer, songwriter, and producer Tank. Since the play, Chico has filmed five movie projects;

Where Is Love Waiting, Nite Tales: The Movie, Burning Sands, Cuttin' da Mustard, and Steppin': The Movie. He currently wrapped filming a

couple of other films and is pitching a TV Show idea for Nickelodeon, not to mention his venture in the ad industry as a character that you will see soon on TV. All of these projects we will let you hear about first hand from Chico as we interviewed him for an upcoming issue of the Humor Mill Magazine!

Photo: Kevin Mazur/HBO

Singer Mary J. Blige performing on stage during the filming of We Are One: The Obama Inaugural Celebration At The Lincoln Memorial, the Opening Celebration for the 56th Presidential Inaugural in Washington, DC.

The question that everyone will ask is, “Where were you on January 20th, when Barack Obama was sworn in as the first African American President of the United States?” Most of us had the date circled on our calendar, or had an alarm on your cell, reminding you what time to wake up. Then there were those who were trying to justify taking off work for that whole week. I would have loved to be out there in that

15 degree weather with all my people, but my medical benefits have not kicked in yet, and second of all I had a gig in San Jose. Money over good times, all the time. (I just made that up right now.)

I drove up to Northern California the night before because I wanted to be settled when the ceremony began. I ended up at my oldest brothers’ house around 3am. He lives in Sacramento, which is where the Govenator is messing up our state. That’s a whole other article. I asked my brother to make sure that he woke me up at 7am so we could watch the swearing in together. He looked at me real strange. First of all it was 3am, and he knows that I don’t start functioning until 11, but I wanted to witness the entire event.

Now before I go any further, I have a question for everyone. How many people have sat up and watched entire inauguration? And I’m not talking about the clip you see on the news that night. Just as I thought, two people. And that’s ok, because up until November 4, 2007, a lot of black people were not sure if our vote really counted. My brother was so fascinated by the whole passing of the torch. “I didn’t know that this whole transition took place.” I looked at him, and I said, “We didn’t care about this stuff up until today.”

I will admit that it was kind of cool, but what made it extremely cool was Barack. He had already begun to look presidential some time ago, but on January 20th, it was so obvious that this man was our Commander and Chief. Some people say that his wardrobe made him look presidential, or the salt and pepper in his air. I will tell you all when I knew he was gonna be our president. It was during one of his debates. He began to answer one of the facilitators question, he took his hand and starting gesturing with. But it was how he did it. He took his index finger, better known as “the booger finger,” and put it together with his thumb. When I saw that, I knew he was about to be our president. Take a quick minute and try it. I’ll wait. See how in charge you seem. I’m sorry I digress. What was I talking about anyway? Oh yeah how presidential he looked. It was truly amazing to watch this man defy all odds, to stand at that podium and begin to address the issues that we as an entire country must start to tackle. He held no punches as he spoke against the previous administration, and poor Bush. God bless his little soul, he had no idea that Barack was talking about him. He was sooooo ready to get on that helicopter. Bush behavior these past six years reminded me of how people act when they give a two week notice at their job. Just ready to quit, but you don’t wanna mess up your unemployment.

There is so much that I wanna talk about but we don’t have room, like Aretha and her hat, the Chief Justice John Roberts messing up the Oath, (did you see Barack lean into him as if he was gonna slap him? Maybe that was just me.) The little black kids who didn’t know what to say when reporters asked them what they thought of the inauguration. Uh Aretha and her hat, the fact that Barack has several people in his administration who USE to oppose him. And how many of you think Michelle is gonna be the first, First Lady to spank a child in the White House. Oh yeah, that little one is gonna get into some trouble, you best believe that. Speaking of Aretha, how many people think that if Whitney Houston had never visited Narcotic County, she would have sang at the inauguration?

Just something I was wondering. Now back to my first question. Where were you on January 20th? www.myspace.com/joeywells5 facebook.com

Photo: Kevin Mazur/HBO

Actor Denzel Washington and singer Usher backstage during the filming of We Are One: The Obama Inaugural Celebration At The Lincoln Memorial, the Opening Celebration for the 56th Presidential Inaugural in Washington, DC.

Hey Boo; I liked reading your article and I had to drop you a quick somethin’ somethin’…What advice do you have for a man who is married who has desires for his wife’s best friend? I met my wife and married her a couple of years ago and we got married quickly. I have never cheated. But after we met, I was then we introduced to her friend, and I think sparks flew. Anyway, we got married and now I think her friend is flirting with me and I want it bad. What should I do?

Wanting That Booty Bad Chicago, IL Vanessa~ You think your wife’s best friend is flirting and you want it, what should you do? You should distance yourself from the best friend – If she’s flirting ignore it; just stay the hell away from her. She’s off limits as all other women should be, now that you’re married. Men have desires it’s understandable. But I think this boils down to good ole fashion self control. What happens when you go to her family reunion or company party? You have all kinds of cousins and co-workers left to meet– There’s tempting booty everywhere. But you have to be strong my committed brother. This is a small test in your new marriage and they’ll be many more. Focus on the booty you married!

Hey Vanessa; I enjoy your writing and I think I want to throw my hat in that ring of your version of DEAR ABBY. Anyway, Vanessa, I am a single woman who loves to go out and as most women I like to date. I went on a date with a guy and we enjoyed each other, and I thought things were off the charts. Anyway, we go out dance, get our grind on, and we go to his spot. We have great sex, and I think that something went wrong because I didn’t go down on him. He hasn’t called since. When is the best time to do that? I am not the type to just be doing that with anyone, but in today’s dating, these chicks are doing that at the drop of a dime. How do us single women compete with women who are willing to get real nasty so quickly?

UNKNOWN Vanessa~ Something went wrong? It sounded like it went good to me. You went out had a good time, danced, vibes were off the charts, great sex! But he didn’t call, so what, call him. If you did, and he’s not returning your calls, move on.

Because, the truth is Sweetie, you could’ve gone down on him and he still might not have called you back. Receiving a call back from a date shouldn’t be linked to whether or not you perform oral sex on him. Now, I will be honest & say you seem to be suffering from a slight case of “DSR” that’s D*** Sucker’s Remorse You thought about doing it … but you didn’t, now you’re wondering if you shoulda.

You gotta get over that. There’s no right or wrong time to give head … it’s when you’re comfortable and that could be day one or never. To your second question – I wouldn’t even try to compete with girls who do nasty stuff fast. It’s a losing game no matter what.

Forget competing just excel in being the best you- you can be – I think that’s the best way to keep the phone ringing.

Hey Vanessa, I loved you on that show on cable! I am glad to see that I can write to you. Well, my question is what should I do about my friends who are jealous of me? I went to Vegas and met a guy who had lots of CHANGE! And I do mean CHANGE! He flew me in to his very lux home in LA a week after we met and had a car pick me up from the Airport. After that, he took me out to dinner and we went back to his place. Of course I gave him some. My girlz were hatin’ cause they said I gave him some so soon. But I know they would have if they were in the same shoes. They said he just loves my big booty. Anyway, what would you have done if you were treated like that for a night or two?

Queenie NY, NY Vanessa~ What do I do when I’m flown in by a man and given the luxury treatment for a day or two? I usually just say, “Thank you!” A man flying me in and spending lots of cash doesn’t automatically mean that I’m having sex with …. It’s a nice incentive but it’s not a guarantee. In dating, you should always want to put your best foot forward so I applaud a man that likes to try and give a woman a nice memorable experience. But the same dating rules apply to the wealthy man, as the man who met me in the Wal-mart and took me to the local theatre. I do what ever comes naturally. If you think your friends are jealous stopping telling ‘em sh*t, then they’ll having nothing to be jealous about. You can’t tell every friend everything. You find the friend that can share in your excitement that can be happy for you as well as remain objective when giving advice.

To Vanessa; Question; as a engaged man do you think I should get married if my eyes still “roam”? My fiancé says that we should tie the knot when my eyes stay inside my head. I think I will always be a man, and I love women with big butts. I can’t help but to look. You tell me, am I right or is she right?

Always Looking!

ATL Dear Always Looking; In relationships I don’t like to play the right and wrong game. Because if someone’s right someone’s has to be wrong and you both have a right to your feelings. Considering you live in Atlanta arguably the ass capital. I understand your fiancé’s concern with your overt appreciation for a nice butt. I feel you as well. I mean come on, who can resist gazing at a nice round one? But, don’t let anonymous booty get in the way of a lifetime of happiness.

When considering marriage we consider each other’s feelings and try to find a win/win situation. I think it’s great that the two of you can have open conversation about this kind of topic. Communication is key in a strong marriage. My advice: You can appreciate without being disrespectful. She doesn’t even have to be made aware that you’re booty watching – when you’re with your fiancé she should be receiving the bulk of your attention anyway. Or learn to do things as a couple; booty watch together. Ask her to join you, have fun! See if she can pick out the nicest, fattest, or even most unshapely booty in the crowd.

This issue we give you a different look at comedian Maronzio Vance, who will tell you that his love for comedy is what drives him every day, and that “Comedy is like dating a girl that you have to constantly prove each and everyday that you love her. Every performance you have to prove that you belong.�

Comedian- Maronzio Vance Model ~ Jovonie Leonard Photographer Allen Zaki

One of the most confident and over looked comedians you will ever meet, this North Carolina born comic feels that many people are trying to hold him down. Yet, he is still one of the most outspoken people you will ever see on stage.

Can Vance hold his own on stage? Many people think so. Why isn’t he a household name yet? Well no one can really answer that question because in this game of Hollywood, when it’s you turn, it’s your turn. Can he ever get a chance? We will see.

One thing we can say from seeing his performances several times; confidence is not an issue for Vance. Rockin’ many stages as if he was on his last legs, this was his last shot, Vance has showed several times that he belongs here. Always with a chip on his shoulder, he lets it be known that he is in the right field. Stay tuned for our interview with Vance to see what stages he has graced and all of his upcoming projects that he has lined up.

Photo: Kevin Mazur/HBO

Actors Jamie Foxx and Samuel L. Jackson backstage during the filming of We Are One: The Obama Inaugural Celebration At The Lincoln Memorial, the Opening Celebration for the 56th Presidential Inaugural in Washington, DC.

Photography by: Allen Zanki

One of the newest hot spots in Los Angeles easily has to be Bar Delux. If you are not familiar with the name or have not heard about it in the “hot circles” then let us be the first to tell you that its one of the most happening spots in Los Angeles.

Bar Delux was designed by veterans Kristopher and the Foundry chef Eric Greenspan. For you art deco lovers, the lounge area is for you. Especially designed for the famous to come out and play, and even “hide” while they are playing inside. If any A-Listers are seeking a place to go, this place was designed exclusively for them and if there are any business men who want to get away, their needs will be satisfied here also.

In the very short time since their grand opening, some of the prettiest people and most sought after people have already enjoyed their deluxe cocktails such as the Pom Noir and their flapper Jack. The food is booze-drenched and delicious, from the tuna sashimi with vodka and tomato marmalade to the beef tenderloin with Scotch and green peppercorn sauce, all prepared to make even the most cynical person relax in great comfort.

Bar Delux is easily a spot that will be on the lips of many a future patron in Los Angeles, as the word is spreading quickly! We suggest that you pay this place a visit, so you can be in-the-know!

Fellas, indulge me for a minute. Ladies, tell me if this scenario sounds at least vaguely familiar to you. You’ve been working on getting this big contract or this important booking or this dream job for weeks. It all boils down to an after work meeting you’ve finally scheduled with the decision-maker.

You’re going to meet for cocktails at 6PM at your favorite upscale spot.

You know the decision-maker is going to be thoroughly impressed with your taste. After all, you were impressed and you’ve got class.

You go out and buy a new outfit, even though you know good and well you really can’t afford it. That’s all right though. You charge it. You chalk it up as an investment in your future and you keep it moving. You stop off and cop that pair of shoes you’ve had your eyes on for months.

But like we’ve already established, it’s an investment, right?

You go ahead and pick up a few new accessories. Why, you even call your girlfriend up and threaten bodily harm against her if she doesn’t bring you your favorite zirconium stud ear rings back immediately. You are serious as an eviction notice. Like any good friend, after the third threat, she brings them back. You don’t have time to trip, so you keep it moving. Besides, she’s your “BFF.” Now, all that’s left is for you to get your hair done. Lucky for you, you made your appointment weeks ago. In fact, it was right after you scheduled your big meeting. You recently fired your old hairdresser. She was the bomb with a pair of hot curlers but she could never get herself to the salon on time. Besides that, she always brought way too much drama through the door with her each and every time you saw her. None of said drama ever had anything to do with you.

Old school hot comb talent is hard to come by these days, especially when you live in the suburbs. It took you months of trial and error to finally settle on this one. But you’re a professional. Bump or no bump, you have standards to be maintained. She had to go. She’ll learn a valuable lesson from all this. She might even thank you later. Not. Anyway, you got this new sistah’, now. She’s mature, serious, well adjusted. You’ve only been to see her once before (when your normal girl stood you up). She was there well before you got there. You could tell because she was almost finished with her lunch. It looked cold. I digress. All you know is that when she was finished with you, your hair was bangin’, bouncin’, and behavin’! You were looking forward to a pleasant second trip; and why shouldn’t you?

You get to the shop with a whole 33 seconds to spare. You rush out of your car without even locking the door. You trot to the shop entrance and guess what. It’s closed. There isn’t a soul in sight. You don’t trip because after all, you’re 33 seconds early. You calmly go back to your car and call her. There’s no answer. You decide to start in on some of the paperwork you planned on doing while “in the chair.” Thirty minutes pass. You call again. Still, there’s no answer. You turn on the radio and Dionne Warwick comes on singing, “Déjà vu, could this be the dream that I once new…” For you it was more like a nightmare. You weren’t going out like that again.

You turn the key in your ride and mash out. Lucky for you, you only live five minutes away. (I won’t repeat what you were saying on your way home. After all, this is family publication.) About four minutes into your trip home, the phone rings. When you answer it your not greeted with any salutations or pleasantries. Your girl cuts right to the chase. She‘s apologizing profusely about what happened and she seemed sincere. All you know is that you couldn’t give a rusty ----. All you could really decipher is that she was begging you (well, as much as a sistah will) to turn around and come back.

There are probably twenty different things that you could do at that point. But it really boils down to only two. So what, you have a major, “potentially game-changing meeting, you have rules. You will not be stood up! So, you’re back at the shop-in your same parking stall fuming.

You try with all you can muster to get that scowl off of your face. You don’t do a very good job. You go in, take your seat and you get through it. No one would’ve ever been able to tell that you’re “bougie.” Your friends would be proud of you.

It’s 5:30PM-almost time for your big meeting and of course, you’re running late. It’s not your fault. You place the blame where it belongssquarely on the shoulders of your hairdresser. No way would you point the finger at yourself for scheduling everything too close together, would you? You know you actually should’ve gotten your hair done the night before. But you know day-old curls just aren’t the same. They don’t have that “fresh ‘do’ bounce!”

You do the best you can to make up for lost time but it’s no use. You try to keep yourself from freaking out. You ultimately arrive at your 6:00 meeting at 6:17. You ask the hostess if she’s seen anyone matching your “meeting’s” description (at least as he gave it to you). You are so mad you look like you’ve already hurt somebody-and it shows.

The hostess signals security on the D.L. while feigning her best phony smile.

Before security reaches you, your “meeting” walks in. It’s now 6:20PM. I guess he likes round numbers. I don’t know.

He looks at you with that all too familiar facial expression-the same one you had when you walked in; the same one your new hairdresser and the one before that, had on their faces when they stood you up-like it wasn’t their fault ether. I guess he thought he had a sense of humor because instead of apologies and excuses, the first thing that came out of his mouth was, “Now, the party don’t start til I walk in…” like a broke middle-aged rapper. He bobbed his head a little bit as he said it. Your jaw dropped. You couldn’t help but look at him like he was crazy.

He looked at you and said, ”Bet you didn’t think I was ‘folks’, did you? Come, come now; a “mean-mug?” Is that any way to treat your next big account?

Your face straightened out a little bit. Then the brutha’ said very eloquently-in a voice quite different from the one he used when you two scheduled the meeting, “Don’t you even try to front. I talked to the valet outside. He told me you just got here three minutes before I did!

The moral of this little story is two-fold. Get the splinter out of your eye before you try to tell me about the beam in mine. And it’s time we start being on time.

Let’s obliterate the stereotype. Come on Black people. It’s 2009. We have a Black President and he’s always on… Well, anyway, he’s the President! The party really doesn’t start til he walks in! The rest of us (including yours truly-who is still too often guilty of the same) don’t have an excuse.

Thanks to all of you for reading the column. It’s my pleasure to share these insights with my people. It’s food for thought. If you can’t chew it, don’t swallow it. May God bless you all abundantly. Until next time, be safe, be smart, be successful, be thankful. One Love, for real. Holla at your Doctor!

-#Tony Spires is a filmmaker, event producer, personal manager, poet, musician, award-winning playwright, acclaimed director and columnist for The Humor Mill Magazine. He is also co-founder of Full Vision Arts Foundation. Known as The Comedy Doctor in comedy circles, he is perhaps best known as the founder of the nationally reputed Bay Area Black Comedy Competition & Festival and as writer/director/producer of the acclaimed feature film, “Tears Of A Clown” now available on DVD. Email Tony at: ComedyDoctor@BlackComedyCompetition.com. Visit his youth Arts Organization at: http://www.FullVisionArts.org.

Photo: Kevin Mazur/HBO

Singers Sheryl Crow and will.i.am performing at We Are One: The Obama Inaugural Celebration At The Lincoln Memorial, the Opening Celebration for the 56th Presidential Inaugural in Washington, DC.