The Humor Mill Magazine

Volume 4 Issue 8 August, 2009

This Actress Plans To Break The Mold With A New Film, A New R&B Group & A New Reality Show

Staff

Founder / Publisher Frank Holder Chief Financial Officer Kevin Layne Chief Operations Officer Brien Kelley, Esq. Editor-At- Large Sacre Wills Layout, Design & Graphic Art Editor Bernadette Holder PresidentTelevision Division Ray Murphy, Jr. TV Segment Producer Richard Gumbs Photo Editor Allen Zaki Columnists Tony Spires Peppur Chambers Darryl Littleton Lamont King Antonia Andullerro Reggie Gaskins Movie Reviews Michael DeQuina PhotographersThis Issue Mellissa Bring Frank Holder Head ShotsWire Image Photos

www.humormillmag.com http://humormillmag.blogspot.com www.youtube.com/TheHumorMilll www.myspace.com/humormillcomedynewsletter

The content of this Magazine is copy written (2007-’08) by The Humor Mill Magazine, DBA Holder Publishing, LLC. and may not be reprinted or retransmitted or reproduced without proper credit given to its origin.

Credits

Special Thanks This Issue

Brien Kelley Sharon Braxton Twain Taylor Of Kuttin’ It Up Barbershop Joe Salas of Spumante Restaurant Melissa Bring Adriaan Kirchner Henry Bajan Marion Kendrick Racell White

Elise Neal Photo Shoot

Photographer- Melissa Bring Model- Henry Bajan Make-up- Sacha Kemp Stylist- Korto Momolu & Jerell Scott Moving Transportation Provided By Twain’s Kuttin Up Barbershp Shoot – Spumante Restaurant in North Hollywood, CA

Marion Kendrick Photo Shoot

Photos- Frank Holder Model: Racell White Asst. Frank Holder, III

Contents Comedy News

The biggest news in the comedy world the past couple of weeks was out of the DL Hughley camp as he jumped into radio and on to the Jay Leno Show, plus news about Katt Williams’ trial, and more!

Plus there is a new comedy giant awakening who is about to take the industry by storm- and getting an assist from an NBA player to accomplish that goal. Find out more inside!

Urban Hollywood

The past couple of weeks we got some exclusives from Elise Neal, plus some news dropped from Terrance Howard on his new film, LisaRaye’s new show, Ralph Farquhar’s new animated comedy show, plus news about a new role for Ernie Hudson.

Oh yeah, it looks like a new Cruise is gonna make some waves and he’s related to Tom. Check out the latest inside!

Elise Neal ~ TV’s New Reality Star

We know you know Elise Neal from several hit films (Hustle & Flow and Money Talks) and several hit TV shows (Most notably The Hughleys and All of Us), but did you know that Elise is also a TV Producer, businesses woman and also singer and dancer?

Well, she tells us about all of her new ventures in this new issue!

Departments Humor Mail

As usual, here are some of the letters and emails we have gotten from you in the last couple of weeks.

Take a look at some of the reader’s thoughts and see if some of them mirror your own.

Star Spotlight~ Kyla Pratt

By Antonia Andullerro The young and future of Black Hollywood, Ms Kyla Pratt is our spotlight this issue as we look at her career and we take a look at her upcoming projects.

The cute star has a very promising future and our writer examines everything here.

The Plight Of A Filmmaker

By Reggie Gaskins

Ever wonder what it would be like to be a film maker?

Or an actor? How about a producer? Looks like the grass is greener on that side of the fence, huh? Well the plight of actor, producer, filmmaker Reggie Gaskins will make you think before you leap as his plight, while being a blessed one, is not for everybody! Anyway, we take that journey along with him here in his first article for us and we discover what life is really like in Hollywood.

Comedy club owner Enns Mitchell of the Comedy Union here at the Premiere party for the Martin Lawrence’s 1st Amendment Comedy Show on the Starz network in Hollywood.

Departments Comedian Of The Week~ Charles Walden

This week we catch up with comedian Charles Walden , a comic who is quickly making a name for himself and making his moves despite his particular “challenges” and if you have seen his performance then you know what we mean. If you have never seen his performance you are in for a treat as Walden is one of the funniest comics on the scene right now. Having a disability hasn’t stopped him in his climb to the top!

Style With…

Marion Kendrick

Photo: By Frank Holder.

All the way from Washington D.C. this comic has made a splash in the comedy scene in a very short time span. Currently on his LA grind we got a chance to catch up with Marion so we could see his latest style, and swagger.

Originally from Mississippi, we wanted to see what he had, and he doesn’t disappoint!

Comedian Marion Kendrick pictured here during our photo shoot in Hollywood.

Departments Breathing While Black

By Tony Spires The Comedy Doctor

Our featured columnist and the founder of The Bay Area Black Comedy Competition & Comedy Festival gives us his thoughts on the what everyone was talking about a little while ago; how can a man get arrested in his own home?

Well, maybe that can only happen if you are black and the arresting officer is white. Anyway, here are his thoughts on the subject, and what he is thinking about the state of the country today.

Movie Reviews

By Michael Dequina

Photographer: Frank Holder

This week our new writer reviews the films from this past weekend starting with District 9 and also the film Inglorious Basterds. As usual we ask Is it worth the money, or should you skip both? Our reviewer gives his two cents.

Brand New~ Music Reviews

As usual, we give you the hottest tracks to look out for and what’s coming up next!

Comedian Tony Rock after the Trippin’ On Tuesdays Comedy Show in Hollywood.

Departments Help! I Need Somebody!

By Peppur Chambers

This week our writer turns herself into a superhero, and don’t ask us how. We don’t know anything about her super powers or her thought process on this. But what we do know is that you can read her article for yourself and find out what she is thinking. Its an interesting article.

I Retired!

By Darryl Littleton

Special Look

In this section we give you a special look at the designers who provided the dresses for the Elise Neal Photo shoot. We take a look Korto Momolu and Jerell Scott, both of which are the designers of the future.

Take a look at their look (you may know both of these designers in the very popular show, Bravo’s Project Runway).

Pictured here is comedian Grady during the Trippin’ On Tuesdays Comedy Show in Hollywood.

Photo: Frank Holder

With some shocking news we had to read this article for ourselvesa beloved comedian and writer is retiring from doing stand up. What is he doing so after so many years in the game? All we can say is read the article and check out his list of accomplishments and see if you agree with his decision.

Editor’s Page

Photo: Frank Holder

To All Of Our Readers, It’s a new day; I can see it clearly. The landscape in the comedy world is about to get flipped upside down. I havent been this excited since the first original season of Def Comedy Jam when Martin Lawrence was the host, or since I was about to watch Eddie Murphy’s Delirious on HBO for the third time.

What am I so excited?

Well, if you haven’t heard comedy is about to change on network television, and not just for the general public. It’s about to get an URBAN overhaul.

Mo’Nique is about to jump on BET, Wanda Sykes in about to debut her new show and George Lopez is about to do the same, on the heels of his very funny HBO special.

I am excited because FINALLY some folks in Hollywood realized that there is some real talent out there and that comedy really has no color, AND that if there is a color associated with comedy, the flavor will be in the pudding.

I can’t wait til September!

Frank Holder Publisher Humor Mill Magazine Pictured here is comedian Doug Williams and Producer Karlton Davison of Martin Lawrence’s 1st Amendment on the Starz network, here at the Premiere party for the show in Hollywood

Mail

Humor

Mill

Magazine;

I loved your last issue, but I am still shocked by the death of Michael Jackson. It was so bad for me I couldn’t even enjoy your issue the way I normally do.

Maybe next time your editors decide to drop a nice pictorial of Laz I won’t be so distracted.

Rochelle James Louisville, KY

Photo: Frank Holder

Ed NOTE: As you are aware, that was not our fault. But after the hurt and despair is gone try to check it out again, and by pass the Michael Jackson tribute.

Humor Mill Magazine; All I have to say is “WOW!” Laz Alonzo is soooo sexy,and I have to say I loved your layout of him. Is there any way that we can see more of him soon? Is he in any calendars? I would love to wake up to his face everyday.

UNKNOWN Comedian Rob Stapleton outside the Laugh Factory at The Chocolate Sundaes Comedy Show in Hollywood.

Mail

Humor Mill Magazine; I loved Laz Alonso in so many movies, and I loved to see him in your magazine. As usual The Humor Mill gives the reader a different look at everyone and we get a chance to get inside that space. Keep up the good work, and please keep those doors of Hollywood swinging open for all of those folks trying to be seen. Let them know we see you! Thanks Humor Mill!

Mike Barboza New York, NY

Photo: Frank Holder

Humor Mill Magazine; After watching the Black Embarrassing Television network and watching those awards, I have to say that I am ashamed about the Michael Jackson Tribute. In retrospect, you guys had a better tribute to Jackson in relative comparison than BET did. We will see what they plan on doing, especially around the anniversary of his death this time next year.

Anyway, your issue was exceptional, and I will continue on reading and looking forward to the news the only way you guys can do it. No one is seeing you!

Tom Nicks Boston, MA Ed NOTE: Thanks for the compliments! We do try!

Pictured here is comedian Esau McGraw outside the Laugh Factory at The Chocolate Sundaes Comedy Show in Hollywood.

Mail Humor Mill Magazine;

Photo: Frank Holder

After watching what has been going on in your magazine, I was not surprised to see your display of Laz Alonso in your issue. As you normally do, you made a great issue out of Laz and you made him look good. Plus your articles that you had about the BET Awards and the Tribute to Michael Jackson were really telling. I am sure I am not the only person who watched the BET Awards in horror, and I am sure I am not the only one who wrote about this. I have to say that BET’s explanation of the Awards was piss poor, and very sad. Having the whole world there to watch what you would do as a network to pay homage to the greatest of all time and you drop the ball is almost criminal. I think someone should really lose there job over that. But I am sure they won’t.

As a magazine, The Humor Mill placed a tribute to Michael Jackson that was comparable to some of the leading mags in the industry and some folks-like me- might think that your tribute was better than most. I would be really scared of you guys once you get some more resources at your disposal.

Comedian Joyelle Nicole during a Crack “Em Up Comedy Show at the Comedy Store in Hollywood.

John Mayer Santa Carla, CA ED. Note: Thanks for the compliment and please keep reading!

Humor Mill Magazine:

UNKNOWN

Photo: Frank Holder

Not to beat on a dead horse about BET, because I am sure everyone did, and I can tell from your last issue that you guys were probably swamped by emails and letters, but people please remember Michael Jackson died two days before the awards. It should be noted that the show had be planned for months and some things could not be moved or changed at the last minute. I am not trying to stand up for them, but I do take notice of the fact that some things are harder to change than others.

Pictured here comedians Jonathan Gates and Mark Viera after their performances at a Black Comedy Explosion event in Boston.

Mail

Humor Mill Magazine; I have always been a fan of Beyonce for many years, but after watching the BET Awards and seeing her performance I want to ask her one simple question; What in the HELL was that performance?� Who told her that was hot? I am sure Jay was shrinking in his seat when that performance was being broadcast- and if he wasn’t then he is slippin too!

That performance was horrible!

Dan Coleman Somerville, MA Ed Note: We have to agree on that one. We were pretty shocked too.

Humor Mill Magazine;

Photo: Frank Holder

Laz Alonso graced your cover and there was excellence in the making!

That was for sure! He is so fine I can have him over every day of the week and kick my husband out immediately LOL! He is one fine specimen of a man.

Lisa Disart Cleveland, OH Humor Mill Magazine; I was very disappointed on your Laz Alonson issue. The article was too short. You never even asked him if he had a girlfriend!

Pictured here is R&B Singer and actor Tyrese Gibson outside the Laugh Factory at The Chocolate Sundaes Comedy Show in Hollywood.

Melanie Salas Jackson, MS

Mail Humor Mill Magazine; Some of your articles are so good I have to honestly reread them! What amazes me about your magazine is that it’s titled THE HUMOR MILL and it never makes me laugh! Well, almost never, because some of your writers are so funny I almost split my guts when I read their articles. You should put a disclaimer one the funny ones! That would save me the embarrassment of having Pepsi come out of my nose when I read some of your articles while I am at work!

UNKNOWN ED. NOTE: That was a little too much information, but it did make us laugh! Thanks for that and keep readingjust maybe not at work!

Photo: Frank Holder

Humor Mill Magazine; If your magazine was on the stands I think you guys would beat out a lot of folks. I personally enjoy reading and I love the layout. Whoever came out with this mag was on to something. Great job guys!

Keep up the good work and I can’t wait to see you on the news stands!

Steve Wasson Los Angeles, CA Ed Note: Sorry dude, the magazine is not going on the news stands.

Comedian Jay Phillips after a performance and hosting gig at the Crack “Em Up Comedy Show at the Comedy Store in Hollywood.

Mail The Humor Mill Magazine; The compilation of Laz Alonso and a Michael Jackson tribute in the same issue was not what I had imagined when I opened up your latest issue but I was pleasantly surprised. Thanks for the great issue.

Jay Lee Cleveland, OH The Humor Mill Magazine; Great articles, but I really wasn’t up to reading more about Michael Jackson. By the way, what happened to having comedians on the cover? It looks like you guys are starting to place more actors on your covers.

UNKNOWN Photo: Frank Holder

Ed Note: There is so science to it, we place on the cover who we have access to. Its as simple as that. But stay tuned we have some more comedians coming and more actors!

CORRECTIONS FROM LAST ISSUE! There were too many to name, but thanks to your letter we know about all of them! Besides the minor typos we had, there we really too many to name. ☺ Hey, what can we say? We are doing the best that we can, especially without a full time Editor!

Anyway, If you want to send us an email about the articles or your thoughts, all you have to do is send us an email to info@humormillmag.com for all of your comments. Some of these emails and other correspondence may be printed right here in these pages!

Comedian King Kedar after a performance at the Crack “Em Up Comedy Show at the Comedy Store in Hollywood.

As we reported earlier in the week, we discovered that comedian D.L. Hughley was recently added to the new Jay Leno Show this fall. In case you didn’t know, NBC has announced that the new Jay Leno Show, set to air at the coveted 10PM slot Monday thru Friday, will feature Hughley and a cast of others as people on-thestreet as comedy correspondents. Hughley will join comedians Mikey Day, Rachael Harris, Jim Norton, The Dan Band and NBC Nightly News’ Brian Williams to partake in news-based comedy segments. If you were thinking that the show will be similar to Leno’s The Tonight Show, we hear that the format will be changed to include more comedy segments and comedy skits. The format will be shifted around so that there is a greater emphasis on comedy even though the desk will still be there and Leno will still be interviewing guests. The new show is set to debut September 14th.

Jay Leno

In other DL Hughley news, it seems he has not only landed a plush job on the Jay Leno Show, but our sources have revealed to us the comedian Hughley will also be working for one of New York’s hottest radio stations, KISS FM. Hughley accepts the role on the radio right after his wildly controversial show on CNN titled D.L. Hughley Breaks The News was cancelled- on the heels of stating the Republican National Convention “literally look[s] like Nazi Germany.” Despite Hughley’s show being cancelled, Hughley will rejoin the CNN network in the role of contributor.

Apparently Hughley approached CNN about being permanently based in Los Angeles, where his family lives.

D.L. Hughley

L-R: Jamie Foxx, Queen Latifah, Carter Jenkins & Julia Roberts Comedian, actor and singer Jamie Foxx has joined Queen Latifah and Carter Jenkins the new romantic comedy titled Valentine's Day, being directed by Garry Marshall. Also cast in the film is Julia Roberts, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Jennifer Garner, Shirley MacLaine, Bradley Cooper, Ashton Kutcher, Topher Grace, Emma Roberts, Hector Elizondo, Patrick Dempsey and Eric Dane. The film is currently in production and follows five slightly interconnecting stories set in Los Angeles on a Valentine's Day. Foxx plays a TV sports reporter who has been sent out on Valentine's Day in search of a story instead of covering his usual beat. Latifah plays as an agent for Dane's character, a football player. Jenkins plays a young man with a hectic schedule who struggles to find time to lose his virginity with his girlfriend (Emma Roberts).

Pictured here is comedians Rodney Perry and Rion Evans outside the Laugh Factory at The Chocolate Sundaes Comedy Show in Hollywood after we filmed an episode of The Humor Mill TV.

Well, comedian and actress Aisha Tyler is still on the move. It looks like she will voice a character in FX's new comedy series tentativelytitled Archer. The project, which has received a six-episode order for a launch in the fall, is set at ISIS, an international spy agency whose highly trained employees constantly confuse, undermine, betray and royally screw one another. In case you didn’t know, the last time FX took a stab at launching an animated series was in 1999 with The Dick & Paula Celebrity Special, which ran for one season.

Aisha Tyler On July 19th while traveling, comedian Anthony “AJ” Johnson, probably best known from several films such as Friday, Players Club, I Got The Hook Up, House Party 1 and 2 and more, had a heart attack on his way to a comedy show. Johnson was rushed to the Jamaica Hospital in Queens, NY and since then has been resting comfortably. More news on this story as it develops.

Anthony “AJ” Johnson

Last week we discovered that comedian Katt Williams no longer has gun charges to worry about. The two weapons possession charges he faced in New York City have been rejected by the DA because of insufficient evidence. The charges -- filed against Katt back in November after cops allegedly noticed two guns in his car -- were dismissed because the DA wouldn't be able to prove them beyond a reasonable doubt at trial. At that time Katt was on his way to the New York Comedy Festival, when he was arrested and later released in time to do his show.

Tracy Morgan

Bruce Willis

In case you haven't heard, comedic actor Tracy Morgan continues to shine in Hollywood, as he put his problems of the past far behind him. Morgan has several new films on his plate and is currently filming a comedy titled A Couple of Dicks with Bruce Willis, which is about two cops whose adventures include locating a stolen baseball card, rescuing a woman, and dealing with gangsters and their laundered money. Morgan’s other films titled Nailed and Freshman Roommates look like sure comedy hits. Nailed is an original political satire about a naive small town waitress who accidentally gets a nail buried in her head, causing erratic and outrageous behavior leading her to Washington DC where she falls for a dashing, but clueless, congressman who searches for the courage to save her. The film stars Jessica Biel and Jake Gyllenhaal and will be released this fall. Freshman Roommates is currently in the predevelopment stages and Morgan was just recently cast in the film.

Photo: Frank Holder

Comedians Corey Holcomb blowing out DeRay Davis’ ears after Trippin’ On Tuesdays Comedy Show in Hollywood.

L-R: Ice Cube, Bow Wow & Brandon T. Jackson

Variety has confirmed a story that we told you about several months ago; it seems that director Ice Cube is back in the saddle with his new comedy film titled Lottery Ticket, which we hear is going to star rapper Bow Wow. Several months ago, we heard the producers were looking at Tracy Morgan (who they later decided was too old for the part) and maybe even Brandon T. Jackson. Our sources say that the producers of the project, Alcon Entertainment (Broderick Johnson and Andrew Kosove) along with Evolution partners Mark Burg,Oren Koules and Matt Alvarez of Ice Cube's production company, Cube Vision, decided to lean another way instead of the normal route of hiring an up- and-comer comedian as in the past. The film Lottery Ticket revolves around a young man, portrayed by Bow Wow, living in the projects who has to survive a three-day weekend after his opportunistic neighbors find out he's holding a winning lottery ticket worth $350 million. The film will be directed by music video pro Erik White, who will make his feature directorial debut on the project, which is set to begin production in Atlanta in October.

L-R: Jeff Clanagan & Shaquille Codeblack Entertainment is currently making an aggressive move for more comedy specials and comedy productions. We all know by now of the partnership that CEO Jeff Clanagan has with Shaquille O’Neal for his All Star Comedy Series, which is currently being broadcast on the Showtime Network. But it also looks like Codeblack is moving into the one man stand up specials as they have recently acquired specials from comedians Shang and Tony Roberts. No word yet on the production or the broadcast air date, but we will get back to you as that becomes available.

Shang

Tony Roberts

Photo: Frank Holder

Comedians Bobo Lamb and Chris Spencer at the Trippin’ On Tuesdays Comedy Show in Hollywood.

David Alan Grier will not be derailed by his sudden divorce as he is keeping it moving career-wise and it seems he will be making his return to Broadway this fall. Grier will join the cast of David Mamet's upcoming play, titled Race, which begins previews at the Ethel Barrymore Theatre on Nov. 16 in New York City. While no plot information has been made public, Kerry Washington and James Spader have already been announced to star in the project. Grier, who was recently seen on Dancing with the Stars and Chocolate News, has appeared on Broadway in Dreamgirls and A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. Grier is no stranger to Broadway as he did his thing way back in 1982. Grier garnered a Tony Award nomination for playing Jackie Robinson in The First.

David Alan Grier

Kerry Washington James Spader

Mike Epps

Comedians Mike Epps and Tracy Morgan join Dane Cook, Andy Samberg, Artie Lange, Bill Burr, Patton Oswalt, Mike Birbiglia, Ricky Gervais and Bill Maher at the New York Comedy Festival at more than 10 venues throughout New York City over the course of five days, Nov. 4 -8. Tickets for all shows are available through the New York Comedy Festival website: www.nycomedyfestival.com.

Dane Cook

Bill Maher

We just got word that actors Terrance Howard and Eric Bana are starring in the new film titled Factor X which is about a young counterterrorism expert from Washington who works with a Wichita police detective to solve the infamous case of the BTK serial killer who murdered people in Kansas from 1974-91 and was finally captured in 2005. No word yet on when the film will be distributed.

Terrance Howard

Eric Bana

L-R: Vivica A. Fox, Clifton Powell & Sheryl Lee Ralph

We received news from actress Vivica Fox that she has just inked a multi-episode deal to star in the upcoming series titled Pastor Jones. The deal, signed with Nulite Entertainment, calls for Ms. Fox to play Dr.Hunter, an ex-girlfriend of Pastor Jones, who joins Grace United Christian Church. Nulite Entertainment will produce 75 episodes of the show, based on the popular character, Pastor Jones, played by actor Jean Claude LaMarre. Other talent includes Sheryl Lee Ralph, Clifton Powell, Paula Jai Parker and Marcello Thedford. Since its debut in 2006, Pastor Jones, which stars LaMarre, has sold more than 2 million units on home video, grossing approximately $8 million in sales. The movies have amassed a large Christian following among African-American audiences with inspirational storylines, dealing with themes of abuse, infidelity, redemption and faith. Lamarre is now venturing into television with this new half hour comedy, also entitled Pastor Jones. With an amazing cast and hilarious story lines, Lamarre is set to make his mark on the small screen. The independent filmmaker, LaMarre, has produced a successful string of straight-to-DVD hits targeting the urban market, including Gang of Roses, Nora's Hair Salon 1 and 2, and Brothers and Arms. Most recently, LaMarre produced, directed and starred in the controversial Color of the Cross. He also owns and operates the website BlackChristianMovies.com, which is the leading subscription based Christian movie site on the internet.

As we reported over a week ago, actress Elise Neal (most famously of The Hughley's and All Of Us) has joined the ranks of actresses such as Vivica A. Fox with her own reality show titled Sexy, Single and Starving. The new reality show also stars Kym Whitley, Claudia Jordan (of NBC's Deal or No Deal and The Apprentice) and Melyssa Ford (of Days Of Wrath fame) and is set to debut on the VH1 network. The show is based on the actresses and their plight in Hollywood of trying to land certain roles and the everyday life of being a star.

Elise Neal

L-R: Kym Whitley, Claudia Jordan & Melyssa Ford

Photo: Frank Holder

Comedian Malik S after his performance at the Trippin’ On Tuesdays Comedy Show in Hollywood.

In an interview with director, producer and writer David E. Talbert who is probably best known for his work in the gospel play circuit, we found out he is about to drop some new projects. Talbert is also known for such plays as The Fabric Of A Man and Love In The Nick Of Tyme, plus he has also produced a television reality show titled Black Stage, in which actors and singers compete to win a part in one of his plays.

Talbert recently directed the Ice Cube/Tracy Morgan/Katt Williams film First Sunday.

Talbert is currently putting together a new play titled The Tangled Web which will hit the road in January of 2010. Talbert is beginning the preproduction process of two new films- one of which is Fabric Of A Man, which stars actors Clifton Powell and Young And The Restless heartthrob, Shemar Moore. The other film is titled Gods & Gangsters, which was one of Talbert’s very first plays. No word if Morris Chestnut will star in either of the new films, but we think that it might be a good possibility that he will. Talbert is casting now.

David E. Talbert

Morris Chesnut

Shemar Moore

LisaRaye

We just got some information on TV One - we hear they are working on a new reality series featuring film and TV star LisaRaye (of The Players Club and All of Us fame) who you may remember is also the former First Lady of the Turks and Caicos Islands. LisaRaye McCoy-Misick was married to the prime minister of Turks and Caios Islands, Michael Misick.

The series will begin production this fall with filming scheduled to take place both in Los Angeles and in the Turks and Caicos, following LisaRaye as she works to rejuvenate her acting career and take charge of her personal life. It looks like they will broadcast eight 30-minute episodes and will debut them in early 2010.

We hear that actor Ernie Hudson (most famous for his Ghostbuster’s role) has scored a role on NBC's Heroes in the recurring role of a Baltimore detective when the series returns for its new season this fall.

Producers wouldn't provide details about the story line, but Hudson's new character, Captain Lubbock, is on the hunt for one of the other characters on the show. This is not a new police role for Hudson, but a return to the police beat as he played a detective on ABC's Desperate Housewives. Hudson also played a senior deputy on ABC's comedydrama 10-8: Officers on Duty. He recently finished work on the Smokin' Aces prequel. The upcoming fourth season of Heroes introduces a new mythology about a traveling carnival of people with special powers, run by a charismatic but evil earth-moving ringleader played by actor Robert Knepper.

Ernie Hudson

Actress Jazsmin Lewis and comedian Chris Spencer at the Trippin’ On Tuesdays Comedy Show in Hollywood.

Veteran television producer Ralph Farquhar and production partner Dwayne Corbitt of FarCor Studios recently announced a pact with distributor TF1 International for overseas distribution of their latest project Da Jammies to the animation industry and fans during a panel presentation at the 2009 Comic-Con convention. Da Jammies is a new 3D animated music series. TF1 will launch the series at the next MIPCOM and MIPCOM Junior World Entertainment Content Market in Cannes, France held October 3 – 9, 2009.

Farquhar is the producer of such Disney hits as The Proud Family and Wendy Wu: Homecoming Warrior. His groundbreaking new animated sitcom was developed in partnership with Toon Farm, LLC and is set to redefine the genre with its fresh new approach to quality urban family programming. Da Jammies combines hip-hop dance, music and fashion in a way never before seen in animation and follows five diverse ‘tweens from the suburbs who attend a performing arts middle school. The characters Dolla, MoMo, Novelist, Seven and LaLa study singing, dancing and music in hopes of one day achieving their dreams of superstardom and they learn big life lessons along the way. Da Jammies tackles the sometimes difficult life lessons of growing up today, yet never loses its fun, engaging approach. Domestically, the studio is in negotiations with several networks to air the 13-episode series. Viewers can log onto http://www.4kids.tv/da-jammies to watch a complete episode, give feedback and cast their votes to see Da Jammies on the CW 4 Kids programming

Gabrielle Union

Connor Cruise

Actress Gabrielle Union will co-star and executive produce the upcoming Lifetime movie titled The Vow, based on the 2005 novel by Denene Millner, Angela BurtMurray and Mitzi Miller. The story follows three women who attend a wedding and all decide to be engaged within the next year.

The project is in development at Sony Pictures TV and will be adapted by screenwriter Nzingha Stewart. Joining Union as executive producers on the new show are Tracey Edmonds and Sheila Ducksworth.

Ralph Farquhar

Tracey Edmonds

We also discovered this week that actor Tom Cruise's son, Connor Cruise has been added to the cast of MGM/UA's remake of Red Dawn, the 1984 action film about a group of teenagers who form an insurgency when their town is invaded - this time

by Chinese and Russian soldiers. Cruise, 14, is playing Daryl, the mayor's son and best friend of tech geek Robert (Josh Hutcherson) in the role originated by C. Thomas Howell. The young cast heads off in a few weeks for military training in an undisclosed location. Shooting will then begin in Detroit for a September 24, 2010 release. Cruise debuted in December as the young Will Smith character in the film Seven Pounds.

The Producer of the Trippin’ On Tuesdays Comedy Show Jeru Tilman after a comedy show in Hollywood.

Photographer: Melissa Bring

Elise Neal TV’s Newest Reality Star~ With A New Reality Show & A New Film We Take A Look At What’s Up Next For One Of Hollywood’s Hottest Actresses

This issue we were able to interview actress and singer Elise Neal, who we discovered immediately did not achieve her youthful dream of becoming a dancer, but went on to much more than what she even planned. We learned that spending hours preparing for those dancing dreams ultimately prepared her for Hollywood and she learned, after taking many acting classes, how to be prepared for the camera if she was going to make it in Hollywood.

The Memphis born actress initially never even set her sights on Hollywood, but her strong desire to succeed in the entertainment industry lead her to Hollywood. With all of her performances that you have seen over the years in film and television debuting in classic sitcoms such as The Hughleys and All Of Us, and of course, on the big screen with roles in such films as Hustle & Flow, Scream 2, and Money Talks, there is a side to her that we are sure you do not know; Neal plans on becoming an R&B artist with her new group titled Assorted Flavors and she put on her Producer cap as she sets to debut her own reality show, titled Sexy, Single & Starving on the VH1 Network.

Anyway, after appearing in many magazines and having done lots of interviews over the years we wanted to interview Ms. Neal to talk about her future projects in film and in television and to touch on how she fell into the industry. We got our Host Red Grant on board, and we were able to get the interview done. Here is a portion of the interview; Humor Mill: I’m sitting here with the beautiful and lovely Miss Elsie Neal. How are you doing?

Elise Neal: Im doing good, how are you doing today?

Humor Mill: We want to thank you for sitting down and taking the time out to expand on your career and your life for Humor Mill TV. To start this off, one question I want to ask you is where are you from?

EN: I was born and raised in Memphis, Tennessee.

HM: So you are a country girl…

EN: Definitely, a country girl. A Southern bell all the way ‘til I die.

HM: So you like all of that “Get crunk wit’ it” EN: I do, I do, I like all of that. People are very surprised by all of that. When it comes on in the club they are like “you like that?” I love it! I am friends with guys from Three Six Mafia, and I have done some songs, actually with Al Capone.

HM: You sung on them?

EN: Yeah, we produced a song together actually. We can talk about that as we go along…

“It became a challenge for me to slow down and understand the technique of camera work.

So, I fell in love with a different challenge, I started taking acting classes and stage classes in New York, and the rest is history.�

HM: So did you start your acting career in Memphis?

EN: No, no. I didn’t want to be an actress. This is a surprise, really! (Laughs!) I wanted to be on Broadway, I wanted to be doing stage for the rest of my life. I started off in Memphis, TN at the only performing arts High School that’s there from Overton High School and I got a full scholarship from the University of the Arts in Philadelphia. So a lot of people, when I first came into the game thought I was from the East Coast because I spent a lot of time there. From there I moved to New York, I was still doing tours, music videos, and I started choreographing music videos. A lot of people don’t know that. Producing different commercials, and doing things like that, I really thought I was just going to be involved in staging, and performing and that was making me happy, and again, what I wanted to do with my life. The acting came because I decided there is a little more money than in commercials and things like that so I decided to take this commercial workshop. And it was a skill I didn’t have, like (the camera is right here) I was like this (she moves a lot in front of camera). ‘ Cause I was used to dancing, and doing things like that in the camera, and it was horrible!

HM: You was basically a camera hog!

EN: I was thinking that this was horrible and I don’t know what I am doing. So, it became a challenge for me to slow down and understand the technique of camera work. So, I fell in love with a different challenge, started taking acting classes and stage classes in New York, and the rest is history.

HM: That’s what happens to a lot of comedians, they are funny on stage but then they get on camera and they are over exerting..

EN: Yeah, over doing it, yeah.

HM: So I heard you have a reality show coming up… Can you..?

EN: I am letting people know what I am really like!

They might be a little afraid! (Laughs) HM: Is it (the show) following you?

EN: Well, its not just following me, it’s actually about black women in Hollywood which is one of the reasons why I was into it.

Its about myself, Claudia Jordan, Melyssa Ford, and Kym Whitley, and so you have all of these different personalities and how do these women make it in this “thing” we call Hollywood. It’s definitely a different society when it comes to black entertainment then the “average” entertainment, and how do we succeed, and have homes, and try businesses, how do we try all of those things.

So that’s what really… I really thought I could have something to add to that. I consider myself pretty successful and I run my own businesses and I produce things, I produce a group, so I wanted people to see “me” as “me”, I think I do a lot with my craft, and people go “Oh, she’s probably really straight laced and sweet and motherly..”

Kinda! But that’s not all that I am, but I am pretty good actress, so if people think that about me, that’s great, but that’s just me acting.

HM: That’s interesting because that combination of Melyssa Ford, you, and Kym Whitely, and Claudia, that’s personality from different sides. I worked with all of those girls and it’s like, Kim is like ‘wow!”, she says what’s on her mind.

Melyssa’s more laid back but she is out there, you know..

EN: Yeah, just don’t push her buttons, don’t push the wrong buttons! (Laughs!)

HM: Yeah, I know! She has two different sides to her.

EN: Exactly!

HM: So I know you just finished shooting a film that’s coming out. What’s the name of it?

EN: That’s called Love Ranch. I am very, very excited about it. Again, I think people have different views of actresses they like and for me, people sometimes see me in one way. Forgetting the fact that I have done some crazy films in all types of genres. Forgetting that fact that I was as ghetto as I-don’t know-what in Money Talks, forgetting that I was screaming in Scream 2. This movie is all about the first legal brothel in the United States in the 1970’s. So yeah, I am playing a prostitute! (See video for the complete interview

“… I consider myself pretty successful and I run my own businesses, and I produce things. I produce a group, so I wanted people to see “me” as “me”. I think I do a lot with my craft… That’s not all that I am, I am pretty good actress, so if people think that about me, that’s great, but that’s just me acting.…”

The comedian of the week falls on comedian Charles Walden who many of you will get a chance to see very soonalbeit on TV or film. If you got a chance to see Martin Lawrence’s 1st Amendment on Starz then you saw his latest performance, and we are sure you found that to be hysterical. We are so sure that you will see him on the big screen because someone with this amount of talent can NOT be on screen in the near future. Hollywood will have to take notice soon, because there is a hidden talent here.

What you will see on the outside is a man is challenged by cerebral palsy but who has graced the stage of BETs Comic View, The Apollo Comedy Hour and even Def Comedy Jam’s All-Star Season because of his comedic talent.

Let’s not stop there; this comedian also likes to pride himself in keeping his show clean and still maintain the funny. In this industry that is NOT easy to do.

Anyway, we got a chance to speak to Walden about his comedy and here is what he had to say; Humor Mill: This week we have a comedian on the line, who is not what most people would call “normal”, it’s Mr. Charles Walden. How are you doing?

Charles Walden: I am doing fine, how are you brother?

HM: I am doing fine. The only reason I had to preference that “normal” comment is because I want everyone out there to know that you are probably are one of the very few comics who do comedy and you make fun of yourself because you have a disability. How is that? And how is it that you decided that comedy is what you wanted to do?

CW: Well, what had happened was it started when I was about 8 years old and I was listening to the Richard Pryor albums (because my uncles let me listen to them when he wasn’t supposed to), and seeing other comedians on TV and seeing how much fun they were having. When I was 18 I started to going to open mic night and one thing lead to another.

HM: And that’s how it happened… What is your disability for those out there who haven’t seen you?

CW: Cerebral palsy..

HM: Do you find that to be a hindrance or does it help you to come up with your jokes?

CW: It helps because I am different and –to answer your previous question- it helps relax the audience when they are watching me. Instead of them sitting there wondering if I am really disabled. By me just coming out and saying it they can come out and watch and just relax go with the flow, and have a good time.

HM: Where are you from?

CW: I am from Philadelphia.

HM: Where have you been doing your stand up? Have you been traveling the country?

CW: Yeah I have been blessed in that area. I have been traveling all over the country.

Check out the rest of the interview at http://humormill.podhoster.com!

Spumante has been serving up first class Italian meals in Studio City/North Hollywood for nineteen years, and the same staff has been there the entire time; in fact the loyalty between owner and personnel is legendary.

As the story goes, after fifteen years on Ventura Boulevard, Spumante had its lease yanked away in December 05. Customers were shocked and crushed. Joe immediately obtained new quarters, but in a building that was just beginning construction. So, Joe found jobs for all his help in other restaurants, and everyone waited…for over three years. When Spumante reopened in August 2008, every busboy, waiter and,

The next big draw is, of course, the food itself. Daily, along with light savory pizzas and Italian pasta favorites such as Fettuccine Alfredo, Spaghetti Bolognese, and lobster ravioli, are six to eight fresh fish dishes, and a variety of meat courses including a tasty Osso Bucco, New York Steak, and a rich Veal Picatta sautéed with lemons and capers. Perhaps their most popular dish (and my personal favorite) is the giant Hawaiian Shrimp, grilled with capellini marinara. And take note, at Spumante they daily make their own fresh pasta, pizza dough and bread from scratch. Of course they have a stellar wine cellar (pardon the rhyme) and have recently added an array of mixed drinks including a delicious sour apple martini.

The last element of Spumante’s perfection is the atmosphere. Provided by both the marvelous wait staff and the décor, which is upscale and fashionable, with tasteful low lighting and colorful modern art. Design and art were done by Cathy Pindler, who is not only Joe’s wife, whom he met aboard ship, but is his inspiration for coming to America

By Fred Rubin

11049 Magnolia Boulevard, North Hollywood, CA 91601

cook returned, along with a crowd of pasta starved friends and patrons, yours truly included.

The grateful who jammed the new Spumante that night would agree that the restaurant’s success is three-fold. First, Joe is at the center of their popularity. A warm, dashing, host, he’s a man who apprenticed for seven years at the famed El Rincon restaurant in Madrid as both chef and waiter, and was also a head waiter for the Norwegian /American ship lines for seven years more. He is charisma personified. For example, when I asked him recently, “What celebrities come in here?”

Joe replied, “All my customers are celebrities.” Indeed, he treats every diner as a VIP, although no less than the legendary Marlon Brando, was a regular patron and a great fan of Spumante’s steaks.

This weeks Star Spotlight focuses on actress and musician Kyla Pratt (born Kyla Alissa Pratt) on September 16, 1986 in Los Angeles California. Pratt entered the entertainment business at age 8 appearing in commercials for the Disney Channel and Nike. A few years later at just age ten, she made her way into film and immediately became a shining star. So many child stars become lost and deceived by their parents financially.

Some addicted to drugs and others suffering from a failed career. Luckily in this case it’s a happy ending. It’s happy and joyous on so many different accounts. Pratt made it and her childhood is merely a memory, and a good one at that. In 1999, Pratt won an Award for “Favorite Rising Star” during the Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Awards. As we’ve watched her transition from a child star to a young adult with an impressive resume, her fan base has yet to be disappointed. In a panoramic view she’s looked at as being able to play a variety of different characters. Her role as the young Monica in the film Love and Basketball required her to transform into a complete tom boy with a bad attitude and a troubled relationship with her mother. Contrary to that, Pratt switched genres and played Maya Dolittle in Dr. Dolittle and Dr. Dolittle 2 portraying a nerdy girl who likes to do experiments. In 2001, Pratt began playing the role of Breanna Barnes in the UPN series One on One, until it was cancelled in 2006 when the WB teamed up with UPN and became The CW. On the sitcom, Pratt goes to live with her dad (Flex Alexander) when her mom agrees to accept a job opportunity in another country. For the duration of One on One, Pratt was also the voice of Penny Proud on the Disney Channel’s The Proud Family which was initially supposed to be aired on Nickelodeon. In 2004 Pratt became Doris in the comedy Fat Albert where she plays a depressed teen trying to cope with the death of her grandfather. In addition to acting in sitcoms and starring in films, Pratt is also a musician. She has attended the honorable Hamilton Academy of Music in L.A She has sang on The Proud Family soundtrack, “It’s All About me” and as a component of the Disney Channel Circle of Stars she sang “Circle of Life” that emerged on the Disneymania 2 album. Pratt’s most recent film appearance was in the movie Hotel for Dogs, released January 16, 2009 where she played Heather, co-starring along side Emma Roberts and Jake T. Austin. Being successful is every young kids dream and attaining greatness is the ultimate goal. Kyla Pratt has made such an impression in the acting world configuring herself to form a perfect eight. She’s graced the scene for a while now and is deserving of all the credits, nominations and awards received. In a world scrutinized by perfection and of course good timing, Pratt is the archetype of achievement while working well under the spotlight. She doesn’t crack under pressure and in my world she was born to do this.

Wherever her career may take her I trust that she’ll come out on top being the prime sensation and motivation of every young actress pursuing a dream. Thanks Kyla you’re truly a gem.

Comedians Donte Barrett and DeSean Ross outside the Laugh Factory at The Chocolate Sundaes Comedy Show in Hollywood.

KiKi Walls ~ Photo By Frank Holder

Comedians Red Grant and Mike Epps at the Mo’ Betta Mondays at The Improv in Hollywood.

Hey Everybody, Troy Rawlings here! I wanted to take time out on this premiere article to introduce myself to those who don’t have a clue who I am or what I do. So, as Jay-Z would say “Allow me…” I am a comedian/actor/radio personality/TV host…got all that? About 5 years ago I started a “sex, love, relationship and everything in between…” talk forum titled “Taboo Talk Live”. My purpose was, and is, to give women and men a chance to express themselves freely and ask any and every question to one another without fear of being judged or ostracized. I told them “What’s said here…stays here!” and for some reason they believed me. So, we grew from 20 people in the back of a book store in Baltimore, MD, to 300 at a weekend forum, to now 10,000+ listeners a night on our internet radio show Taboo Raw Uncut Radio every Tuesday Night.

What I do differently from most sex, love and relationship sessions is make the hard/deep stuff fun to talk about. With some statistics showing that the divorce rates in the United States are as high as 50% & 60%, we need to start being real with each other way before marriage. Statistics also show that the leading causes for divorce are sex issues and money issues… Google It! So, I choose to deal with Sex! And one of the main things I’ve learned over the past 5 years, with 85-90 percent of our audiences being women, is that men and women think almost exactly alike! We think about the same things, WE JUST PROCESS AND COMMUNICATE THEM DIFFERENTLY! So with this being the case, we have to kick our stereotypes of men and women to the curb and TALK, Raw and Uncut!

Ok, now that I’ve given you a little background on myself, in every issue of the Humor Mill I’ll be answering, (in my own opinion) your sex, love, and relationship questions. As RAW as I can! And I want you to feel free to ask anything…while I might have to paraphrase some of your questions to fit the censors, I will definitely deal with it!

So Let’s Go!!

Question: Hey Troy, If a woman doesn’t moan during sex, does that turn a man off?

Signed Silent Type TR: Good Question Silent! Everyone is different. This is one of those topics you should ask your mate or proposed mate over dinner or coffee. During one of those fun personal Q&A sessions… Never ask this in the bedroom or right before sex! That can be a mood killer. While some men feel affirmed by a women screaming till his ear drums bust, some men don’t mind any noise. But, in most cases, your intimate moans, and noises turn men, AND women on. Making noise, because you enjoy the way your mate is making you feel can be the biggest turn on of all! I don’t think anyone wants to have sex with a corpse, Except necrophiliacs… Google it. So, make some noise baby!!

Question: Do men really pay attention to a woman’s undergarments?

Signed T & Panties TR: So what are you wearing…Oh…my bad… Well T& P, yes… Of course. Like I said, everyone is different. So you have to discuss with your mate what they like. Some men like flannel PJ’s on their woman…I have no clue why. Some like beater tops and boyshorts, some like your Vicky Secret joints. Have fun finding out what turns your man on. Do a fashion show for him with his favorite music playing… Even if it’s 50 cent!

While some men are anxious to get to the gift inside, we like pretty gift-wrap too!!

Question: Is it ok for a straight man to shave his pubic hair?

Signed So Fresh and So Clean-Clean TR: Hey So-so. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, especially if it helps with the man’s hygiene. Sometimes pubic hair can be funky and prevent people from being able to clean themselves as thoroughly as they need to. Some men sweat, and some men don’t mind the ADB smell (all day b****) I think it also depends on your mate and what they like.

Question: Troy, how many men can a woman have sex with before she really feels like a ho?

Signed Who’s Counting?

TR: Well… This is another one that’s a matter of opinion and preferences, and for the woman, a matter of her self confidence. How does she feel about herself? Is she going to be totally open with her mates and let them know? Because if so, some men would love for that number to be as low as possible! Like 2, him included. Yeah, there’s a real double standard when it comes to the number of sexual partners a woman has had vsersus a man. Once again, everyone is different. While some guys would like to marry a virgin, some guys appreciate an experienced woman. Hey, a lot of porn stars get married.

Until Next Time Boppers! Keep sending those questions! Love Y’all, God Bless, Troy www.facebook.com/troyrawlings www.youtube.com/troyrawlings www.troy-ghosthost.com

I’ve decided that I am a Super Hero. And perhaps you should be one, too. I have yet to think of a proper Super Hero name as of yet. I’m known as a Brown Bettie: that’s a different kind of Super Hero. I need somethin’ else. While friends tend to call me “The Hot One” due to my fabulosity and the spicy connotation connected to my name (Peppur), I don’t think “The Hot One” sounds very threatening or charged like “Electra” or “Wonder Woman”. Although…it would be pretty funny if my super hero weapon was a lightening-rod tazer with a HOT poker on the end of it where I could ssssszzzzzzt sizzle and brand people who do wrong!! I like that. You see, I am a Super Hero who crusades against Losers who Litter and Goons who Graffiti. I’d sssszzzzt sizzle brand them with an “L” or a “G” when I caught them doing wrong (right on they asses!!). I sure coulda used my Hot One poker when I actually saw a Graffitti Goon in action while I was in my Starbucks office on Hollywood and Western. It was broad daylight and I actually saw a bandit tag an electrical box! I wanted to pull my non-existent pink and silver cape from my laptop bag, drape it ‘round my shoulders and bound through the glass doors to yell, “Hey! You. Graffiti Goon. You are in big trouble!” Had I had my Hot One poker, I woulda got him. Instead I sat in my uncomfortable wooden chair and did nothing but become super incensed. I gasped and huffed and pointed really hard at the graffiti criminal and grumbled, “…Yooouuu!” … and then my spirit deflated because I did nothing. I s’pose I felt powerless. And I call myself a Super Hero? In that moment, I simply forgot I had real power and I didn’t need a cape or a rod to enforce it. My power was to take action! I had a chance to redeem myself this week when my BF (boyfriend) and I chanced upon an ordinary citizen in need of assistance. We were pulling into the parking lot near the Ralph’s grocery store off Pico and San Vicente near the Midtown Bowling Center. The minute we pulled into the lot and saw the man’s white pick-up askew in the entry way, I knew something was amiss. I pointed really hard, turned to my BF and said, “That man needs help!” My BF didn’t believe me at first and kept driving past the man; I started huffing. We circled back and as we approached the exasperated older gentleman sweating in his truck from the afternoon sun, I stuck my head out the window and asked boldly, “Do you need help, Sir?” He boomed, “I sure do! You wouldn’t believe how many people I asked and they looked at me like I was crazy!” I turned to my BF and said, “See!” Before BF could barely park, I’d bounded from our Ford Focus and put on my imaginary pink and silver cape. (With no Litter Losers or Graffiti Goons in sight, I did not need my Hot One poker, naturally.

This was a rescue that required brains and brawn!) As the tall man exited his truck and smoothed his apron and short Don King fro, I noticed his rubber boots. Odd. He held the driver’s side door for me and said, “Now, this here is a grease truck. I’m just here tryin’ to make a livin’. Gotta excuse the grease.” As I clamored into the front seat to steer while my fellow (bewildered) Super Hero BF donned oversized dishwashing gloves provided by the gentleman, I thought, “Huh? What’s a ‘grease truck’?” As I coughed and strained to turn the smoking steering wheel (yes! thick, acrid smoke was wafting up from the steering column), I noticed my flip-flopped feet were sticking to the bottom of the pick-up truck floor…ewww, greeeaase. I looked through the rearview mirror and saw the flatbed was holding two barrels of grease! Ewww… from where did this grease come?! Oki Dog? I puffed and struggled with the steering wheel (quite happy that I’d worked out that morning) and as a team, we got the greasy truck out of harm’s way where AAA could properly help the distressed man. Turns out two other Super Heroes stopped to help push… it’s funny, tho’, because I’m not sure if people would have helped if we hadn’t stopped first. The moral of this story? Be a Super Hero, friends.

Peppur is the creator and performer of Harlem’s Night Cabaret performed by the sultry, sassy, sophisticated and sometimes funny, Brown Betties. www.brownbetties.com Peppur Chambers is a writer and actor living in Los Angeles. She is the creator of “Harlem’s Night: A Cabaret Story” performed by the sultry, sassy, sophisticated Brown Betties. www.brownbetties.com

Comedian Ray Liposki inside the Comedy Store at the Belly Room during the Crack Em Up Comedy Show in Hollywood.

In the past year there has been a great migration of comedians from the West Coast.

Veterans have sought other opportunities in the Mid West, East Coast and down South. In this spirit of change I too have moved to my land in the Southern region of the nation and have made the comforting decision to retire from comedy altogether. Please! Please!

Hold your tears until the end. I know it comes as quite a terrible shock but contain yourselves. It’s for the best.

I’ve done all I can for comedy. For over twenty years I’ve been the gold standard for intelligent, thought-provoking humor. I’ve worked with most of the titans in the game and enhanced each of their existences for having met me. My mantle is overflowing with awards and my hands arthritic from decades of autograph signing. Throughout my sterling career I’ve performed, produced, written, directed, appeared in countless direct to DVD flicks and even authored a book on the subject. My articles have graced the pages of the Humor Mill and my jokes have been stolen by the best. Hell, I’ve got so many friends on Face Book I had to deport them to My Space. Think I’m lying - Google me.

My word is bond. No amount of coaxing or cajoling will make me change my mind. I don’t care how many women throw themselves at me or how many studios offer me multi-picture deals with eight figure salaries – I’m out. So I don’t want you knocking on my door in the dark of the night begging me to return and I’ll refuse calls from the president threatening me to entertain the laughter thirsty citizenry. This is my life and I just want to live the rest of it out quietly with my press clippings.

So forget about a gigantic farewell tour. There will be none of that. I don’t want any keys to the city, no streets named after me or schools dedicated to my humanitarian deeds. Let there be no national holiday in my name or supermarkets openings requesting me to cut ribbons. Cease from shredding the ticker tape and adorning the floats. And sculptors refrain from creating statues and busts to commemorating my greatness. My artistry is etched in the minds of all those who ever basked in my enlightened glow.

Now whatever you do I encourage you to not cause any of the fuss that has been perpetrated by the retirement of so many celebrities before me. The masses lose their minds with frustration and anger. You remember the disgusting displays – the hullabaloo, the rioting in the streets. Nay I say. Public safety can not be jeopardized behind the stepping down of cultural icons. Recall the switchboards being overloaded with calls into radio stations with cries of protest; the marching on city hall imploring the sitting council to force stars by law not to quit? Well, I’m one star who will not be intimidated. When Sinatra retired he unretired - same with Jay-Z and others; but not me. When I say that’s it, I mean it.

Of course they’ll want to do a reality show chronicling my last days in the biz, but I’m not down for that type of exploitation. I’m releasing my staff and firing my support team.

Furthermore, I rebuke the notion of having one last show challenging my arch rival to a duel to the comedic death. My reputation is unquestionable and I have nothing more to prove. So I bid you all a fond farewell and adieu. My place in history is secure. There’s no way in hell you’re ever going to forget me.

Film: District 9 Starring: Sharlto Copley, Jason Cope,, Nathalie Boltt Director: Neill Blomkamp After a summer season thus far heavy on the slam-bang entertainers that deliver the explosive mayhem at the expense of any hint of intelligence, District 9 is a welcome refreshment, an entertainment that not only gives the goods but does so with style and brains. It begins with a strong, simple concept: aliens have settled in South Africa for the last 20 years, and crime, prejudice, and various fear-based excuses have led to their forced eviction from the title slum to something more akin to a concentration camp. From his idea, director Neill Blomkamp tackles some allegorical ideas about immigration, fear of the other, and human/corporate arrogance, but the real genius comes in how he takes the story in some clever and unexpected turns. If this sounds a bit pretentious, it really isn't; the film is, in the end, great fun with impressive effects, exciting action, and graphic violence-that it's executed with such smarts and skill (extending to the performances, particularly that of game lead Sharlto Copley as the official n charge of the eviction operation) and offers something to think about along with its substantial thrills.

Michael Dequina, A-Frame Studios | twotrey@gmail.com | michael@aframestudios.com | mrbrown@themoviereport.com | The Movie Report/Mr. Brown's Movie Site: www.themoviereport.com www.quickstopentertainment.com | www.cinemareview.com | www.aalbc.com www.johnsingletonfilms.com

Film: Inglourious Basterds Starring: Brad Pitt, Christoph Waltz, Eli Roth, MĂŠlanie Laurent Director: Quentin Tarantino Taking a further step beyond traditional expectations is Inglourious Basterds, which is not quite the gung-ho guys-on-amission WWII action-adventure the marketing is selling--but that it flouts convention in its unmistakably Quentin Tarantino way is why the film is as interesting as it is, for worse and for (largely) better. The basic story is simple: the (literal) scalping mission of a group of mostly Jewish-American soldiers and a revenge scheme by a young French Jew (Melanie Laurent) converge one fateful night at a Paris cinema. But as with nearly all Tarantino's films, the real creativity and thrills lie in the storytelling; case in point, the first so-marked "chapter," which finds Tarantino in top form: clever dialogue, rich characterization, tension, suspense, and spoton acting as a Nazi colonel nicknamed "the Jew Hunter" (Christoph Waltz, the clear breakout star) interrogates a French farmer suspected of hiding Jews. This opening sequence launches the thread about Laurent on a superb note, but chapter two's first taste of the over-the-top antics of the title "basterds"--led by a knowingly camp Brad Pitt as the squad's redneck leader--reveals the divide that will occur throughout these alternately thrilling, alternately tedious 152 minutes.

Whenever Waltz is on screen, the film expertly straddles the fine line between gravitas and playfulness, grave drama and silly comedy; and Laurent's storyline displays flashes of the more mature side that Tarantino hasn't really been bothered to exercise much since Jackie Brown.

However, while not exactly getting completely in the way, the indulgences, such as the relentlessly cartoonish "basterds" and solid scenes that tend to run slightly too long, somewhat bog the film down. Those quirks make Basterds not exactly tailored to mass tastes, but those interested in something more experimental, offbeat, and most distinctly of a unique voice to round out the summer season will find plenty to savor here.

Photos: Frank Holder Comedian: Marion Kendrick Model: Racell White

Marion Kendrick is a native of Jackson, Mississippi and now resides in Los Angeles, CA. He is quickly establishing himself as one of countries talented, up-andcoming comedians. Like most comics, he began his career clowning in class making those around him laugh ever since. He uses his unique style and Southern dialect to captivate you into his funny fact and fiction tales. Not only will he make you laugh at him, but also with him on subjects you can definitely relate to. Marion prides himself on being a versatile comedian with ability to entertain all types of audiences. His talents allow him to deliver to mainstream, religious, corporate, and urban functions.

As a child he loved to sneak and watch Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, and Eddie Murphy, which later ignited his dream. He felt that becoming a comedian was inevitability due to him sharing April 3rd as the birthday of him and Murphy. Being that MS wasn't known for producing many big name entertainers, he never saw himself pursuing a career in comedy.

That all changed after witnessing another Jackson native and fellow Alcorn State University Alumnus, JJ, appear on Def Comedy Jam.

After graduating from college, he relocated to the Washington, D.C. metro area where he took the stage for the first time in 2001. For two years, Marion performed a few times, but didn't take comedy as serious as he should have. After learning that his cousin, an aspiring rapper, was diagnosed with stomach cancer; he was inspired to work harder at comedy and to become one of the best comedians ever.

After years of honing his craft in D.C., he decided to relocate to Hollywood to take his career to another level and expand his acting career. He is performing at clubs and showcases all over the country and has created a buzz for the Marion Kendrick brand of comedy. Marion has been invited to showcase his talent at Comedy Central’s Open-Mic Fight, The Bay Area Black Comedy Competition Festival and Jamie Foxx's LAFFAPALOOZA Comedy Festival. He's also performed standup on Bill Bellamy's Who's Got Jokes, The Tom Joyner Morning Show, and Master P's Hoodstars of Comedy DVD. In 2006 he was selected as one of EBONY magazine's TOP BACHELORS which gave him even more delighted exposure.

Although Marion plans to represent Jackson, MS to the fullest; he's proud to be a product of the tough D.C. comedy circuit.

Right now I’m in L.A. showcasing for industry executives as much as possible. I still go on the road when called upon to increase my popularity and connect with audiences in other cities around the country. I’m pursuing acting roles and also shopping a pilot for a own sitcom based on some of me and my friend’s dating experiences in D.C. Please check me out online at www.marionkendrick.co m for more info and videos of some of my past performances.

I started doing comedy in January 2001 at Takoma Station Tavern in Washington, D.C. At that time, Monday nights were being hosted by Joe Claire and Red Grant. This spot had a cut throat audience!

My first performance was cool but I was still terrified of the stage. The DJ was named Go-Go Rudy. He’d bring you up to a Go-Go song every time.

While you’re walking to the stage, the audience would be rocking to the song. So when he cut the song off, you better be funny. If not, you’ll get boo-ed.

Then, Joe and Red would talk about how “UNFUNNY” you were. Imagine bombing and then having to drive an hour back to Fredericksburg, VA thinking, “Maybe I ain’t that funny??” LOL… I appreciate every difficult stage I performed on in D.C. That’s where my strength came from, those small bars and restaurants in The DMV.

Korto Momolu (pronounced Cut • Toe – Mo • Mo • Lu) is a renowned fashion designer and stylist. Korto was born and lived in Monrovia, Liberia before immigrating with her family to Canada due to civil war in 1990. After settling, Korto ultimately pursued her passion and studied fashion design at the L’Academies des Couturiers Design Institute in Ottawa, Ontario. Influenced by her African roots and inspired by rich fabrics, Korto began producing beautifully chic clothing and accessories for women of all sizes and shapes.

After working as an independent fashion designer for 15 years, Korto followed her dreams and broke into the public eye in 2008 during the 5th season of Bravo TV’s hit show Project Runway. During the season finale of Project Runway, Korto presented her spring 2009 collection at Bryant Park during New York Fashion Week and ultimately ended the season as 1st runner up. Throughout the show, Korto stood out as a designer who embraced color and diversity and displayed such extraordinary talent that she was awarded the fan favorite prize.

Korto lives in Little Rock, Arkansas with her husband and daughter where November 13th was officially declared Korto Momolu-Briggs Day. She presents her collections, works on custom commissions like from the one from Liberian President Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf for an outfit and makes motivational speeches and personal appearances.

Highlighted as one to watch, Korto has been featured by EOnline.com, Essence.com, LA Times, African Vibes, Arkansas Democrat Gazette, Ladybrille.com, Global Woman Magazine, The Huffington Post, InStyle.com, Jamati Online.com, and MarieClaire.com. She has also graced the covers of Celebrate magazine, Celebrity Parents magazine and Little Rock Family magazine along with her daughter. 3

With a unique eye for details, Jerell Scott's designs are intricate and creative. Jerell Scott found his passion for fashion by way of modeling.

The former model admits to not being able to afford "the cool stuff" in his early career, and so he taught himself how to make what he wanted to wear. Jerell Scott describes himself as eclectic and bold and wants to create pieces that express people's individualities. Inspired by life, Jerell Scott classifies his designs as "raw beauty."

Some of you may recall an article I wrote several months back on the phenomenon known as racial profiling, entitled, “THE CUT-OFF.” In that article I asked the rhetorical and to date unanswered question, at what age can a Black man or other person of color expect not to be racially profiled by police aka detained for “Driving while Black?” I didn’t get much feedback on that little ditty, so I concluded (against my better judgment) that I was the only brutha in America still being pulled over for no good cause. I did what I could to start the 2009 dialogue but leave it to a celebrity to bring the conversation into America’s living room.

Distinguished Harvard University Professor Henry Louis “Skip” Gates, is an academic celebrity.

President Obama may be the biggest celebrity the world has, right now. These two bruthas, along with the arresting officer, Cambridge, Massachusetts Sergeant James Crowley, have reignited the fire that fuels the debate over the Jim Crow-esque practice that demoralizes, and in many cases, terrorizes African American and other men of color in this country. Yes, both sexes and members of other races are also impacted by this demoralizing (and in the case of menoften emasculating) ordeal. But it always seems that it’s up to us to both “play defense” and “carry the ball.” I think we’re used to it by now.

President Obama is the man! From all accounts, he’s at the very least, an extremely competent leader, as well as a very effective communicator. He’s so good; in fact, I don’t think he ever speaks by happenstance. Every move-every word is calculated. He has credibility, strength, selfconfidence and perhaps most importantly (as recently demonstrated by former President Bill Clinton’s securing the release of the two female journalists in North Korea, largely because of his celebrity status), he has “star-appeal. All you celebrities out there take a hint from the fearless leader of the free world, a brutha from Hawaii. “Never under-estimate the strength of your own “star power!”

The Prez said the Cambridge Police Department “acted stupidly.” I’m with him! And they’re not the only ones. If you know me, you know I’m not one to make a habit out of siding with law enforcement. But some years back, my wife Rhonda accidentally set-off our home alarm.

Within only a few moments “the authorities” were at the front door. I came to the door and found one officer there and another cop several feet away, partially behind my vehicle-which was parked in the driveway.

It must’ve been procedural/tactical because I remember: 1) how cool it looked-like in a movie and 2) How smart it was-in case I was a crook or desperate person bailing out the front door blastin’. I politely told the officers that it was an accident. They asked if anyone else was in the home. My wife showed her face and the cops were satisfied. Throughout the whole embarrassing (to us) event they were professional and courteous and they kept it movin’. They were gone in less than five minutes.

Skip Gates wasn’t that lucky. But when you really think about it, that’s what he gets! Who told him to live in an upscale neighborhood? Who told him to break into a house in that neighborhood-even if it was his own home? Who told him to tell the police officer that he was trippin’? And who told him to forget his place as a Black man in America and stand up for himself against armed law enforcement? Did he carelessly forget that the word “African” goes before the word “American?” Maybe he just said fu—it! I’m tired of this bullsh--! Skip, I’m tired, too!

That cop better be glad that Professor Gates, the world-renown author, intellectual and researcher, didn’t have a pistol handy or maybe a stun gun. You know how easy it is to make the mistake of reaching for, pulling and firing the wrong gun, right? (Remember the Oscar Grant murder on New Years Day 2009 at an Oakland, Ca BART station?) Skip Gates might be looking at a life sentence right now. No, not the one he’s been serving (along with all Black men-big or small-in America) all of his life-the same as millions of other bruthas-“breathing while Black.” I’m talking about a straight up prison sentence.

Heaven forbid that anybody else gets killed at the hands of any Black man or any other person of color in this country-but think about it. It’s one thing for a known felon to “throw down” on law enforcement but if a Harvard professor did it… Racial profiling would soar beyond being a bleep on the national discussion radar for only about 15 seconds-to a very serious and compelling social justice and political issue that would finally get the “stage time” it deserves. Unfortunately, due to all the haters, President Obama can only do or say so much. Gates is his homie, so he spoke up for him. Now, they’re trying to roast him for it.

See, there are some who still think that we should not only expect and except the blatant injustices, double standards and inequities in American society but-also, we should do so graciously. Even General Colin Powell, one of the most prestigious Black Men (and one of the most prestigious men-period) in the world says that he’s been racially profiled many times. This very day, my brother and my father told me they were racially profiled… in the water-just because my brother has the baddest boat in the water! So, actually it’s not just about being on the street and driving while Black. At this point in our history, it’s about “breathing while Black.”

Thank all of you for reading the column. It’s my pleasure to share these insights with my people. It’s food for thought. If you can’t chew it, don’t swallow it. May God bless you all abundantly. Until next time, be safe, be smart, be successful, be thankful. One Love, for real. Holla at your Doctor!

-#Tony Spires is a Los Angeles-based filmmaker, event producer, personal manager, poet, musician, award-winning playwright, critically acclaimed director and co-writer of the 2007 NAACP Award nominated, “Ali: The Man, The Myth, The Peoples’ Champion and columnist for The Humor Mill Magazine. He is also co-founder of the newly formed youth arts organization Full Vision Arts Foundation. Known as The Comedy Doctor in comedy circles, he is perhaps best known as the founder of the nationally reputed Bay Area Black Comedy Competition & Festival and as writer/director/producer of the acclaimed feature film, “Tears Of A Clown” now available on DVD. Email Tony at: ComedyDoctor@BlackComedyCompetition.com.

Visit his youth Arts Organization at: http://www.FullVisionArts.org.