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JUNE 2021 THE LEADING MAGAZINE FOR LGBTQI WOMEN AND NON-BINARY PEOPLE

The

June Issue

GET THE LINE OF DUTY LOOK QUEER ICONS & THEIR CATS SIMONE LAHBIB & MANDANA JONES – REUNITED!

Dodie EXCLUSIVE

G N RI DE N O W S Y A LW A IS ST PI RA E "MY TH WHY I DON’T WRITE HAPPIER THINGS"

Open space. Open minds.

What brings thousands of LGBTQ visitors to Key West every year? Is it the gay tours, the clothing-optional guest houses, the we-were-out-beforeit-was-in ideology? Maybe it’s our vibrant cultural scene: the eclectic art, the gingerbread architecture or the colorful history on display at every turn. Either way, with our open minds and wide-open spaces, Key West truly is an island unto itself. It’s never too soon to start planning your escape. fla-keys.com/gaykeywest 0208 686 2600 For the latest protocols on health & safety in The Florida Keys, please visit our website.

CONTENTS UPFRONT 04 Dictum 05 Publisher’s letter 06 Your shout 08 Trending

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28

36

FEATURES

CULTURE

REAL TALK

10 Dodie

28 Caroline O’Donoghue

36 Cervical screening

20 Get the look: Line Of Duty

32 Bad Girls Reunited

38 Valentino Vecchietti

22 Queer Icons And Their Cats

40 Dear Ali

Throughout the issue you will see this symbol, which indicates that there is digital content available related to that particular feature. You will be able to access this complementary content when you purchase our digital edition from divadigital.co.ukk or directly through the DIVA branded app, available on the App Store, Google Play, Kindle Newsstand and Windows Store.

COVER PHOTO PARRI THOMAS

(Please note that additional content may not be available via all of our third-party digital suppliers. However, buying the issue using one of the methods above will give you access to this content.)

42

48 SEX

ESCAPE

42 The scissoring special

48 Japan

46 My secret sex diary

50 Explore

47 Sexy Bits

...and DIVA regular sections 30 Screen | 34 Books | 35 Music 3

DICTUM

UPFRONT | DICTUM How are you marking Pride month?

EDITOR’S LETTER

HERE’S TO A MORE ACCESSIBLE FUTURE

Lesbian Visibility Week was an incredible success, sparking conversation, collaboration and creativity.

Since Linda dreamt up the initiative in 2020, it’s grown more than we ever could have imagined, becoming a staple in the LGBTQI calendar globally. Seeing what our small but mighty team was able to achieve in 2021, especially after such a bruising year, was really quite something.

As well as celebration, it was also a week of learning, not least for us. One of the biggest lessons, for me, has been the benefits of digital events, with thousands of you tuning in to watch the DIVA Awards.

Far from being a hotchpotch

plan B, the Awards were a huge hit. We want to carry this energy forward so hybrid events become the new norm.

Parts of the world are beginning to open up again, which is very exciting. But we don’t want to go blindly back to how things were before – we have been given a golden opportunity to do things differently. For us, that means continuing to develop DIVA, engaging meaningfully with all corners of our community – especially the ones we don’t normally reach. From the pages of the magazine to our events, we are committed to accessibility, and I’m excited about exploring ways to better speak to the diversity under the LGBTQI umbrella, all year round and in everything we do. It’s important to me that we’re not just accessible, but approachable too. So if you have any ideas, comments or suggestions – about the magazine or anything else – then do get in touch. I’d love to hear from you.

Carrie Lyell carrie@divamag.co.uk | @Seej

DIVA

Subscribe to Love women? Love DIVA! Support queer media and save money, too. Turn to page 39 and #SubscribeWithPride today...

4 JUNE 2021

Editor-in-chief Carrie Lyell “I’ll be celebrating by getting the Covid vaccine. Thank you, NHS!” Managing editor Roxy Bourdillon “With a rainbow face mask and glittery hand sanitiser” Sub-editor Kat Halstead “By finally treating myself to those rainbow roller skates and wearing them all over town!”

Music editor Laura Howard Screen editor Kat Halstead Books editor Erica Gillingham Travel editor Joanna Whitehead Designer Fernando Safont Big thanks to: Adrian Read, Joanna Turvill, Harriet Argent, Nadia Davies, Martine Hess Advertising sales@divamag.co.uk Events social manager Kat Stephens | kat@divamag.co.uk Subscriptions For information, see page 39 Subscriptions help kat@divamag.co.uk If you need a back issue to complete your set, email kat@divamag.co.uk. If you have difficulty reading the printed word, you can get DIVA on audio cassette on subscription. Contact Feminist Audio Books on 0161 273 8038 or email books@ feministaudiobooks.org.uk THE JUNE ISSUE OF DIVA IS ON SALE FROM FRIDAY 25 JUNE AT DIVADIGITAL.CO.UK AND DIVADIRECT.INFO .

Postal address DIVA MAGAZINE Ground floor 2 Woodbury Grove London N12 0DR editorial@divamag.co.uk divamag.co.uk Newstrade distribution Select Publisher Services Ltd, PO BOX 6337, Bournemouth, BH1 9EH Distribution help kat@divamag.co.uk Printed in UK by CPUK Print Publishing (cp-uk.co.uk) Published by DIVA MEDIA GROUP LIMITED Publisherr Linda Riley linda@divamag.co.uk All rights reserved © DMG 2016 ISSN 1353 4912 DIVA is published monthly in the UK by DIVA Media Group Limited. The mention or appearance or likeness of any person or organisation in articles or advertising in DIVA is not to be taken as any indication of sexual, social or political orientation of such persons or organisations. No responsibility can be assumed for unsolicited materials and submission is construed as permission to publish without further correspondence at the fee payable at our usual rates.

Advertisers are advised that all copy is their sole responsibility under the Trade Protection Act. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission of the publishers.

UPFRONT | PUBLISHER’S LETTER

A letter from our publisher

A

fter what seems like an eternity, June 2021 finally sees the lifting of the restrictions which, however necessary, have blighted all our lives.

Some of us haven’t made it, some have caught the virus and recovered fully, while others are still feeling the debilitating effects of long Covid. Many of us have suffered bereavement and even more will have experienced huge spikes in anxiety brought about by financial worries, uncertainty about our careers and pervasive feelings of isolation and loneliness.

The LGBTQI community knows, perhaps more than anyone else, what it feels like to be marginalised and it is likely for this reason that DIVA readers came together so supportively in our Facebook group over the past 15 months.

The support you have given each other is truly humbling and, even when the pandemic is far behind us, l have no doubt that this will continue with the happy addition of the ability to actually meet up in person. I, for one, can’t wait!

With this wonderful community spirit demonstrated by women who love women, I perhaps should not have been surprised at the success of Lesbian Visibility Week, but even I could not have expected two million impressions on social media and the lesbian flag flying proudly above City Hall, the home of the London Assembly and mayoralty.

Mayor Sadiq Khan has always been a committed ally to the LGBTQI community and I want to take this opportunity to

congratulate him on his re-election. Additionally, Wembley Stadium, England’s national stadium recognisable all over the world, as well as the SSE arena in Glasgow, illuminated their venues in the colours of the lesbian flag. Now that’s what I call visibility!

Talking of flags, we’ll soon be launching a competition to design a brand new lesbian flag. So, to all you budding designers out there, put your thinking caps on and watch this space for more information.

You might have read on our website that, sadly, Brighton Pride is not going ahead for a second year. DIVA has, for many years, been a proud media partner of everyone’s favourite south-coast jamboree, as well as being the sponsors of the women’s tent at the event. Brighton Pride has always been a “must visit” for Team DIVA and, knowing the organisers as I do, I have no doubt that they’ll be back in 2022.

In the meantime, there are several Pride events which are going ahead this year (fingers crossed!) and I can’t wait to join my LGBTQI family in, once again, a celebration of our beautiful rainbow community. One event I shall most certainly be attending is WorldPride which, together with the EuroGames, is being celebrated in Copenhagen in Denmark and Malmö in Sweden. DIVA is delighted to be working with WorldPride and, if you can make it to Denmark in August, try to say hello.

As you’d expect, this issue of DIVA is jam-packed with some brilliant writing, so sit back, relax and enjoy! See you next month.

Linda Riley Publisher

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UPFRONT | YOUR SHOUT FAVE ACCOUNTS INSTAGRAM OUR THIS MONTH

YOUR SHOUT

You said it...

Opinions expressed by correspondents and contributors do not necessarilyy reflect the views of the editors of DIVA magazine or its publishers.

JOIN Z THE BUivZamagazine

k.com/d .uk faceboo @divamag.co letters magazine @DIVA

MORE CATS PLEASE! I’m an overseas subscriber, hence only commenting on the February issue now. Reminds me of early DIVA: very serious and full of activists struggling to make the world better for our community. Ok, but can we read some fun stuff too please? What about a (regular) feature on lesbians and their cats? And more on lifestyle (looks, homes, apps, work)?

Caitlin, via email I caught up with the DIVA Well Rounded session as part of Lesbian Visibility Week and some of the live session this morning too. It was lovely to start my week with such great content.

Karen, via email @AdeleRoberts Incredibly proud of my love @KateHolderness for drawing these wonderful women on @DIVAmagazine’s cover this month Thank you to everyone who makes the world as inclusive and diverse as possible. It’s so important.

There’s room for everyone to shine. #LesbianVisibilityWeek

Subscribe to

DIVA

Hey hot stuff!

Want a monthly date with your favourite magazine?

Then turn to page 39 and #SubscribeWithPride...

@MsLadyPhyll Oh @KateHolderness it’s an honour to be drawn by you, you are awesome & amazing! I’m also so pleased and humbled to be featured on one of the four covers of this month’s @DIVAmagazine for #LesbianVisibilityWeek @JulesMHaworth Shout out to the comms teams @DIVAmagazine and @PinkNews for getting the moon involved in #LesbianVisibilityDay. Great work folks x @maydbs Great chat with @DIVAmagazine editor-in-chief @Seej and managing editor @Roxy_Vintage about (lesbian) visibility! Wholeheartedly appreciate their lesbianvisibilityweek.com initiative and overall great representation and energy! See you at #Copenhagen2021! #YouAreIncluded

@LiterateElf Loving these covers, they’re just so unique @INEya_veganfood Yayyyyyy my copy(ies) of @DIVAmagazine turned up this morning with the gorgeous @MsLadyPhyll on the full cover I ordered @BarnabyHoot I may not be @DIVAmagazine’s target audience, but I wasn’t going to see @BeffernieBlack be a cover star and not order a copy.

6 JUNE 2021

@msamandajade So Bethany Black speaks words of wisdom in her interview in the latest edition of @DIVAmagazine

@KateHolderness Such a wonderful night presenting the @DIVAmagazine #DIVAAwards21 with @AdeleRoberts Congrats to all the amazing winners and nominees who have made the rainbow shine so brightly over the last year! Special award goes to Adele’s PJs Black tie on top, Bedtime on bottom

@cmorgie1 I feel absolutely honoured and privileged to have won the @DIVAmagazine Sports Star of the Year Award 2021! Thank you so so much to everyone who voted.

It really does mean so much to me! I’m over the moon!? Thank you also to the incredible people I have in my life supporting me and having my back Thank you x

@thesapphicarchives Happy #LesbianVisibilityDay from my lesbian bookshelf to you!

My beautiful vintage badge (which is also the profile picture for this account!) is from my happy place, aka Gay’s The Word Bookshop in London.

“I didn’t choose to be a lesbian, I just got lucky”

@followtolu I’m so delighted to have been awarded Diversity Champion of the year 2021 by @DIVAmagazine.

Huge thanks to everyone who voted for me! #DIVAAwards21 #diversity #DeloitteUK

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TRENDING

UPFRONT | TRENDING 60 seconds with... Bookhounds

This INmonth S NUMBER

5 8 JUNE 2021

Most of the books out there are by cis, het white guys, who are super skinny and brilliant at running. But of course, runners come in all shapes and sizes, and from all backgrounds. It’s a struggle [for us], because the books just don’t exist. I haven’t read a single book by an out queer person. But we’re there. We exist. We run.

Does that surprise you?

No. Because we’re queer women living in the society that we are. It’s just disappointing, isn’t it?

It is changing. Runner’s World were taken to task recently by a group called Black Trail Runners and their content is slowly shifting. The other week, they focussed on a non-binary runner. I feel like two years ago we wouldn’t have seen that. But publishing is such a middle-class, white industry. Combine that with running – especially distance and adventure running – which is also super middle class and white. We’ll get there. But at the moment, running books by people of colour literally don’t exist in the UK. The only ones I’ve read so far are from America, so we’ll be importing a few. But it shouldn’t have to be that way, should it?

What advice would you give others about starting their own venture?

I don’t know if I’m qualified to give advice! I guess I’d say, why not? Because life is short and anything that is worth doing is a bit scary. Why not go for it? Live your dream. What’s the worst that could happen?

Read more from Char at divamag.co.uk. Get 15% off a Bookhounds membership with the code DIVARUNNER15 at bookhounds.club

Signatures on a change.org petition calling for a

ban on conversion co therapy

112,000+

Years in jail for two trans women

in Cameroon found guilty of “attempting homosexuality” and “outraging public decency”

71

10th

The percentage of the LGBTQI community that

The UK’s place in this year’s

according to research from Mars Petcare

published by ILGA-Europe, down a place from 2020

have a pet

Rainbow Index

WORDS CARRIE LYELL, ROXY BOURDILLON

CHAR BINNS TELLS DIVA ABOUT A NEW BOOK SUBSCRIPTION SERVICE FOR PEOPLE WHO LOVE READING AND RUNNING How did Bookhounds come to be?

When I was preparing for my first marathon, I was a bit injured, very much in the training zone. I picked up this book called Runner by Lizzy Hawker, an incredible endurance runner from the UK. It reminded me why I love running. It was the rehab that I needed. A few weeks later, running the Edinburgh Marathon, I must have looked bonkers. I had a giant smile on my face. I just kept channelling that book. I kept reading running books after that – they became as intrinsic to my training as my protein powder or my foam roller.

Books were really vital. I thought, if this works for me, maybe it’s something I can share with other people.

And so Bookhounds was born.

What do you get when you sign up?

You get a book – a bit of running inspiration – delivered to your door every month, and a letter with that to explain why it’s been picked. We also produce online content to complement your reading. Within a few days of you getting the book, an author interview appears online, which is members-only content. We have a Goodreads group where all the members chat about the book and share their thoughts on it. And then, towards the end of the month, we have a podcast, our version of a reading group, where myself and Jak, my co-host, invite a special guest to come and have a natter about the book. It’s a whole month-long package.

Are there many books by queer runners?

UPFRONT | TRENDING

The Breakup Monologues

by Rosie Wilby Beg, borrow or steal a copy!

Shetland 2 TLWS-635

TLWL-305

The Scottish island will host its first ever Pride event in 2022!

WMN We love this publication of lesbian art and poetry wmnzine.com

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3 4

T PS AND

BOTT MS

What we’re rating and hating at DIVA HQ this month

1

WHEN THIS IS ALL OVER

2

PRIDE WATCHES

3

INSPIRATIONAL BOOK

4

CURVY CANDLE

5

RAINBOW UNDIES

Once the queen of daytime telly, her show is coming to an end after 19 seasons due to poor ratings, following allegations of bullying and harassment

Forward-thinking tote for erotic adventurers etsy.com/uk/shop/ HomolondonStore, £12

What time is it? Pride time, baby! tofflondon.com, from £49.99

Empowering quotes from amazing women of colour waterstones.com, £6.99

Warning: this candle will make you wax lyrical rockettstgeorge.co.uk, £15

Just gorge, plus 10% of profits go to Kaleidoscope Trust bluebella.com, £70 for the set

Azerbaijan 5

The country ranked last in the Rainbow Index 2021, with just 2%

Caitlyn Jenner The former Olympian and reality TV star has said she opposes trans girls competing in girls’ sports

What are your tops and bottoms this month? Let us know @DIVAmagazine

Say hello to our latest obsessions

PICK’’N’’MIX

Ellen DeGeneres

9

A guide to dressing like your favourite dishy detectives

22

Queer Icons And Their Cats Our favourite images from the purrfect new book

10 JUNE 2021

MADLY,

DEEPLY

DODIE t’s a big day for Dodie. The 26-yearold singer-songwriter’s debut album, Build A Problem, has been released into the world, just hours before our Zoom call. It’s been a long time coming, thanks to a toxic combo of Covid and Brexit – “I have no idea what my life is if it isn’t waiting for an album to come out in a pandemic, because that’s what my reality’s been for the last year” – but for fans, it’s been more than worth the wait. The internet is alight as people around the globe live tweet their reactions and a sleepy-looking Dodie, all tousled hair and smiles, tells me her phone is “blowing up” with notifications and messages from friends in far-flung places. “I have a million feelings at the moment,” she says. If she’s overwhelmed by the magnitude of the moment though, it doesn’t show. Dorothy Miranda Clark is chill, calm, happy.

AS SHE RELEASES HER DEBUT ALBUM, DODIE CLARK TELLS CARRIE LYELL SHE FINALLY FEELS VALID AS AN ARTIST

More info on Contents page 3

For millions of “Doddlers”, the album is everything they’ve been waiting for, and critics, too, have been piling the praise on this exceptional record, described as “a beautiful reflection of the dark things I feel”.

It’s an astonishing and accomplished debut which, at time of writing, is sitting at number three in the UK album chart. And yet, still, there’s a reluctance to step into the limelight, as if she doesn’t feel she deserves it.

“Everyone’s been so nice,” Dodie tells me. “There was this New York Times article that just painted me in the best light... I really needed that. I think I might pin it on my wall so every time I feel bad about myself I can just read it.” That’s not to say that Dodie doesn’t recognise her own talents.

She’s talked in the past about being “bugged” by those who dismiss her as “just a girl with a ukulele” and, >>>

ADDITIONAL RESEARCH HARRIET ARGENT. PHOTOS PARRI THOMAS

FEATURES 20

Get the look: Line Of Duty

TRULY,

FEATURES | COVER STORY

11

12 JUNE 2021

FEATURES | COVER STORY while there might be a touch of imposter syndrome lurking in the wings at times, this album marks the next stage in her transformation. From a chrysalis, Dodie the fully formed artist has emerged and is now ready to fly, and says today, finally, she feels valid as an artist. “I feel so legit, in the best way. I’m so proud of myself. I love this album, I love the music that’s on there, and I think, yeah, I’ve collected enough evidence to prove to my brain that I am a musician. A good one, too.”

It’s hard to believe it’s taken her so long to accept her worth musically, given all she’s achieved. She might make it look like it’s NBD, but over the past 10 years Dodie’s worked incredibly hard. Her YouTube channels have amassed a combined following of more than three million people, and her three EPs – Intertwined, You and Human – all reached the UK album chart top 40, despite being released independently and having little in the way of traditional promotion. That’s no mean feat. She’d also sold out massive venues and clocked up a mindboggling number of streams across platforms including Spotify and Apple Music, all before the age of 25. Though her beginnings as a bedroom musician might explain why it’s taken her a while to see herself as a “real” artist, that experience has been a bit of a blessing these past 15 months. No one knows more about performing alone to a camera than she does. “I guess I’m lucky in that regard,” she admits.

“For all of the outlets asking me to do a live session for them, and film it and record it myself, I’m like, ‘I got you’. I’ve been doing this for a decade.

So that has been useful to not be like, thrown in the deep end. It’s very natural for me to chat to a camera. It feels pretty ok.”

That experience hasn’t shielded Dodie from the blows the pandemic has dealt, though. From album delays – “I cried my eyes out every single time the date was pushed back” – to isolation, lockdown has “definitely” exacerbated existing mental health issues, including anxiety, depression and depersonalisation. She’s “desperate” to get out on the road again, missing the “incomparable” feeling of live music, whether performing or attending a gig, and it’s clear from talking to her that not

>>>

having access to that has taken a toll. “It’s an experience I really need...

It’s a spiritual experience. I can’t even imagine what it’s going to be like when I step on the stage for the first time again.” Moments of relief, rather ironically, come from being around other people, which has proved difficult, to say the least.“I’m not very good when I’m alone. I just hate it. I need to figure that out... I don’t know if I will. It just makes my head spin down, down, down.” She’s in a more reflective mood today, however, and says she appreciates the time lockdown has afforded her to be on her own with nothing but her thoughts for company. “It’s been interesting to spend more time alone and figure out why that feels so painful to me... I think I went over the hump of hating it and being so afraid of it, to not really minding it so much. That was a useful thing to do, to break through it. Maybe it’s a good exercise every now and again. Though I wouldn’t choose it!”

With half of this record written in lockdown, Build A Problem swirls and swells with emotion and has been aptly described by The Guardian as “quietly devastating”. It’s striking in its contradictions, containing multitudes.

Sparse arrangements meet soaring string sections, the result of which is a delicately composed confessional that feels at times like a friend whispering a painful secret. Those contradictions speak to the “wondrously complex conundrum that is being alive”. On this record, as in life, she is both vulnerable and strong, quiet and loud, confident yet uncertain. The process has been an education for Dodie, that’s for sure, revealing parts of herself that even therapy can’t reach. “I’ve learned that I mustn’t hate myself that badly if I can write about all of these feelings. Not celebrate them, but explore them with kindness and care. For all the shame and selfhate, self-consciousness or whatever, I still can hold myself through writing about it and making art about it and that’s been really nice to learn.” What does she think her therapist will make of the album? “I don’t know!” she laughs. “I’ll have to send it to her.

She’s always wondering why I don’t write happier things. I remember, I was in this nasty brain episode. I was like, ‘I have to go and run outside in

the cold for a music video’. She was like, ‘Why don’t you write a nice one about cats? Sunshine? A holiday? And make a music video about that?”

Her favourite track – right now, at least – isn’t quite a track, but “the middle part between Sorry and When”. “There are these six songs that sort of blend together with string parts. Everyone experiencing that for the first time has re-ignited my love of it. There’s a particular moment from the song Sorry until When where it blends over in the transition after this huge swirling moment. Watching people hear that for the first time has made me just love it again...” While some musicians can be very precious about how their work is interpreted, Dodie loves seeing the way songs take on new meanings when they’re out of her head and in the world. “I’ve been enjoying reading threads of people live tweeting the album. I really enjoy it when people make connections that I didn’t make... There’s a lyric in When where I say ‘I’ll take what I can get’ and then before the line in another song, I say ‘I’ll have to take what I can get’. I can’t believe I wrote that twice, it’s like a weird parallel. I love people picking it apart and finding things, but also using it to process.

A lot of people are commenting what they think songs are about. For me, it’s a different meaning, but for them it’s something else, and that feels really good to know that they’re using it to think about and process their own stuff.”

There’s another benefit to songs taking on new meanings: diverting eyes away from Dodie. Naturally, given how much of herself she’s shared over the years, whether in YouTube vlogs or through her music, people might be looking for hidden messages about certain relationships or situations. “It takes the pressure off. Because it’s not really about me...

Obviously I share my music and I have shared about myself in the past, but I would hate to think people are like, looking carefully. I just want to give them nice music and I want them to hear it in whatever way they need it.” As for how and where they’ll enjoy it, she’s easy. “I would love for people to listen to it in whatever way they love to listen to music. I’ve seen a lot of people say they’re listening to it in their car on a long drive, >>>

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which is really cool. Headphones in the dark is my jam. Or headphones when I’m cleaning a room or going for a walk. Just as long as you do it in your favourite way, then I’m happy.”

From the way she talks about it, you might think this album is something that’s happened to Dodie, rather than something she’s painstakingly curated and crafted. “When I’m staring at the project in front of me, I’m like, ‘I’ll never be able to do that’.

But it’s a very gradual thing. Bit by bit, songs were written, and then some naturally seemed to flow into the other and then I built on that. And then suddenly I had a flowing album, and I was like, ‘Oh, thank god!’” To me, it feels like a very deliberate collection

>>>

16 JUNE 2021

“My therapist is always wondering why I don’t write happier things”

of songs, which continue unravelling threads she started picking at in her 2019 EP. The Dodie on Build A Problem is different from the one on Human, though. “The themes of my music are a bit more mature, complex. I’ve found my footing,” she says, while in the same breath admitting she feels “more unstable” now than she did then. “I think it’s just the natural experience of growing up...” We all know what that’s like, but not many of us have done it on a screen with millions watching. With this year marking a decade of her YouTube career, how is she feeling about that anniversary?

“I’ve gone through a lot of feelings about YouTube... Sometimes, I can feel quite resentful of it... Like, why am I

FEATURES | COVER STORY

still attached to that? It really makes me mad. But that’s one niggling feeling. Overall, I know that it has been the most incredible thing for me and my career, but also my life. It’s been so great to have a place and home to put all of my stuff and my writings and feelings and build a community. I’m so grateful. I just fucking love it. I love making a video, I love writing a song, building on it in my own bedroom and then having that instant gratification of putting it online and sharing it with the community. It’s such a satisfying feeling.” What advice might she give 16-year-old Dodie, finger hovering over the “upload” button for the first time? Would she tell her to do anything differently? “I would

have dipped in when I was around 19, 20, 21, and said ‘Maybe take some space while you’re going through all this shit,’ she laughs. “But I learned a lot from that. I think I would probably just let her be, and say good luck.”

One of my favourite tracks on the album is the recent single I Kissed Someone (It Wasn’t You) – not least because of the bisexual representation in the video, which feels natural and without fanfare or sensation, something that is still so rare. “The director [Hazel Hayes], who is a very good friend of mine, she’s also bi.

We were spitballing on the idea of trying to satiate loneliness by sleeping around... It felt only right that we do an accurate representation of

my dating and sex life. You’re right, I obviously didn’t want it to be like, ‘Oh my god, a girl as well!?’ It’s just my life.” The last time I spoke to Dodie, back in 2018, she talked of grappling with feelings of shame around her sexuality and the work she was doing on that. Do moments like this help to process those feelings? “I’m not really sure where I’m at with that, but I do think that keeping things more to myself recently has been useful.

There’s an expectation with bisexuality, in particular online, to be a certain way, and feel a certain way about it, and I don’t think I align with that. I’m still figuring it out. I love my bi-ness, but I think I need to love it by myself for a while.” >>>

17

FEATURES | COVER STORY There will be many fans who have followed Dodie since day one, but a good many more will come to her now, through Build A Problem, and won’t be aware of the last 10 years. To those who might be overwhelmed by the thought of a decade’s worth of content, what’s the Dodie starter kit? “That’s a great question,” she says, a wide smile spreading across her face. “Well, there are two playlists on my channel. One’s called covers, one’s called originals, and you can sort of make your way down there. Don’t even bother with the second channel. There’s too much! I would say go through all the originals, because not only do they track my musical capabilities, they also track my brain, and that’s really interesting to look back on.” It’s interesting for Dodie to look back on too, though perhaps not always healthy. Constant access to an archive of past selves can leave us suspended in time, paralysed in a thick fog of nostalgia and never quite living in or appreciating the present. “I’ve only recently been wondering whether having so much of my life documented is a good thing.

I have no idea. No idea. I have loads of videos of me as a kid, which I’ve recently found, which is really interesting, but I’m not sure if it’s made me feel better. I think we’re designed to forget.” She might be right. From bad haircuts to half-baked opinions, I’m certainly glad my 16-year-old isn’t online, forever, for everyone to see. Not least because I was a bit of dick back then. “Oh, we all were!” she laughs.

“We all were.”

Before we say our goodbyes, I’m wondering how Dodie will be marking the rest of album release day. One thing’s for sure, they won’t be your typical celebrations, given the times we’re living in. Pity party for one? “It’s a bummer,” she laughs sadly. “I would have loved to be in a room with everyone I love. A debut album is a big deal. I feel all of the love through a screen, but it would just be lovely if I could be in a nice little pub or something... I haven’t really had time to plan anything. I might take a very nice picture and put it on Instagram! I just wish I could have a party. That would be great. But I guess I’ll have to save it...” >>>

Build A Problem is out now 18 JUNE 2021

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: k o o l e h t t e G DIVA’S GUIDE TO DRESSING LIKE YOUR FAVOURITE DISHY DETECTIVES WORDS ROXY BOURDILLON Bent coppers! Flemson! Vicky McClure’s face!

Mother of God, what’s not to love about BBC crime thriller Line Of Duty? And folks haven’t just been watching in their millions for the plot twists and throbbing sapphic sexual tension (although those factors definitely don’t hurt). Maybe it’s because we’ve been wearing elasticated waistbands for so long, but we’re all obsessed with AC-12’s dapper DI chic. Since season six aired, PrettyLittleThing has seen searches for blazers rise by a whopping 144%! If you want to channel the Line Of Duty aesthetic and avoid being arrested by the fashion police, keep it fuss-free, practical and suave. We’re talking fitted jackets, tapered trousers and your gayest polo neck. Stick to a neutral palette of black, grey, navy and oatmeal and make sure your pockets are big enough to stash your gun/ emergency strap-on.

20 JUNE 2021

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Style secrets Kate Fleming, played by the impossibly gorgeous Vicky McClure, gets a new signature coat each season. Since her promotion to inspector, she’s been rocking upscale brands like Brora, ME+EM and A.P.C., but looking delicious doesn’t have to cost the earth. Costume designer Maggie Donnelly buys Kate’s beloved polo necks at high street staple M&S. For Joanne Davidson, aka Kelly Macdonald, smart tailoring is key.

She’s into labels like Belstaff, Maje and Agnès B, gravitating towards slightly bolder shades including (brace yourself) mustard. Maggie told the Daily Telegraph the edgy colour choices represent her risk-taking nature, adding, “For Jo, clothes are armour”.

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21

Queer Icons And Their Cats A SELECTION OF IMAGES FROM OUR FAVOURITE NEW PHOTOGRAPHY BOOK

22 JUNE 2021

Queer Icons And Their Cats is a gorgeous new book by Alison Nastasi and PJ Nastasi that every selfrespecting DIVA reader needs on their bookshelf.

Featuring LGBTQI icons past and present, alongside their feline friends, this book is dedicated to “LGBTQ people around the world and the cats that love them”, and celebrates “lost legends” like Josephine Baker (opposite page), trans trailblazers such

as Sylvia Rivera and contemporary queer champs including the wonderful Tig Notaro (above).

Charming and eccentric, this collection shows a different side to well-known names from Elton John to Dusty Springfield, illustrating that cats have been our allies since before it was cool. Just purrfect.

Queer Icons And Their Cats is out on 24 June (Chronicle Books, £12.99)

PHOTOS ALISONBECHDEL – AMEY RADCLIFFE, DUSTY SPRINGFIELD – POPPERFOTO / GETTY IMAGES, JOSEPHINE BAKER – PIAZ STUDIOS OF PARIS / VICTORIA AND ALBERT MUSEUM, SYLVIA RIVERA – VALERIESHAFF, TIG NOTARO – TIG NOTARO

Tig Notaro. Opposite page: Josephine Baker

FEATURES | QUEER ICONS AND THEIR CATS

23

Alison Bechdel. Opposite page: Sylvia Rivera (top), Dusty Springfield (bottom)

24 JUNE 2021

FEATURES | QUEER ICONS AND THEIR CATS

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CULTURE 32

Bad Girls Reunited Simone Lahbib and Mandana Jones talk Helen and Nikki 20 years on

28 JUNE 2021

AUTHOR CAROLINE O’DONOGHUE ON QUEER CHARACTERS, TAROT CARDS AND WHY SHE WRITES WORDS ROXY BOURDILLON

PHOTO JAMES DREW

All Our Hidden Gifts

CULTURE | CAROLINE O’DONOGHUE When Caroline O’Donoghue was 16, she met two awesome queer people in their 20s who changed her life forever. “It’s so cliche,” she groans over Zoom. “I was raised by queer people!”

We’re both laughing, but the truth is that this friendship was glorious and transformative. “They were a couple and they were both bi. She had a gender-neutral name that she had changed [herself]. She shaved her head. He wore eye make-up every day. They were the most vivid people I had ever met.” Caroline played bass in their band. They taught her to take feminism seriously. They were warm, exciting and endlessly wise. She tells me, in a jokey voice but sounding sincere, “Every intellectual epiphany I’ve ever had has happened with a queer person in the room”.

It’s little wonder then that two of her three books are bursting with LGBTQI themes. After her gripping 2018 debut, Promising Young Women, explored sexual politics in the workplace, her second novel, Scenes Of A Graphic Nature, told the story of gay filmmaker Charlie, who visits her ailing father’s childhood hometown in Ireland and finds herself tangled up in a decadesold conspiracy. All Our Hidden Gifts, her brilliant latest offering and first YA, examines homophobia, gender identity and the intense emotional landscape of teenage girlhood.

Caroline talks enthusiastically about the “huge hunger” for LGBTQI stories in YA, but notes that there aren’t nearly as many contemporary queer novels aimed at adult women. “Obviously there are some, but in terms of things you would find on the top table in Waterstones it’s a lot of historical, ‘Ooh, we’re Victorian. Shall we? Shan’t we? Is it even invented yet?!’” Does she have any theories about why that’s still the case in 2021? “I don’t really know, because I don’t know any woman who defines herself as completely straight. Most women I know, if they’re not openly bi or queer, they’re at least fascinated.” She grins, before adding emphatically, “You’d be insane not to love women!”

Born in Cork, Ireland, Caroline moved to London aged 21 with dreams of becoming a professional writer. She quips, “It wasn’t, ‘What should I be when I grow up?’ It was, ‘Well, clearly I can only do one thing!’”

Throughout stints in recruitment and

advertising, writing was her constant side hustle until she landed a job at feminist website The Pool. Since then, she’s racked up bylines in the likes of Vice, Vogue and BuzzFeed, become a columnist for the Irish Examiner and launched her own award-winning podcast, Sentimental Garbage, which I cannot recommend enough if you, like me, are a chick lit addict.

One of the best things about Caroline’s work is that she’s a true original.

Her voice is insightful, hilarious and always unpredictable. “When I was first contracted to write the book that became Promising Young Women, the editor was like, ‘We’re looking for a new Marian Keyes, a new Helen Fielding’. I was really happy to do that, and then the more I wrote, the more this spikier, slightly more gothic story started to emerge. I learned that listening to your instincts is really important.”

In addition to writing, one of Caro-

Every intellectual epiphany I’ve ever had has happened with a queer person in the room”

All Our Hidden Gifts is out now

line’s favourite, and most enduring, pastimes is tarot. At 12 years old, she strolled into “the Irish version of The Works” and left clutching her first deck of tarot cards. “I couldn’t read them at all! I was utterly making it up as I went along.” Her teens were spent obsessed with witchcraft, visiting magic emporiums and stocking up on spells and quirkily coloured candles. She got back into tarot when she was 25 and began doing readings with close female friends. “When we’d had a bottle of wine, we would tell each other’s tarot.

It became this wonderful, social, lovely thing to do with women.”

Her passion for tarot was part of the inspiration for All Our Hidden Gifts, in which schoolgirl Maeve Chambers discovers a pack of tarot cards and starts giving eerily accurate readings to her classmates, with terrifying consequences.

The novel is set in the fictional city of Kilbeg, which is largely based

on the Cork Caroline came of age in during the mid-noughties. “You have this very old Catholic country that’s still bogged down in traditions, but it’s also really modern, beautiful, progressive and full of art and creativity.” It’s not an Ireland you often see depicted in literature. “A journey every writer goes on is you slowly realise that your experiences matter. I always thought that my childhood, adolescence and where I’m from weren’t really important, because somebody would have represented them already. But with every representation thing, you’re like, ‘Oh, it’s my job to represent these things’.”

Speaking of representation, All Our Hidden Gifts is fabulously inclusive. The cast includes Maeve’s lesbian sister, Jo, her non-binary love interest, Roe, her deaf ex-BFF, Lily, and her new friend, Fiona, who is from a Filipino background. “I read this study years ago. There’s this thing called the locus of control. They found that if you were straight, white and male you were least likely to read your horoscope or see a psychic, but the further you were away from those things, the more likely you were to do those things. That’s why, overwhelmingly, magic’s practised by queer people and people of colour. I wanted to represent that in the book.”

When it came to Roe, Caroline enlisted a trusted non-binary friend, Wren Dennehy aka drag performer Avoca Reaction, to be her sensitivity reader. “They would call me and be like, ‘Look babe. This is not it’. And it’s so much nicer to bleed in basic training with a friend who you trust, rather than bleed on the battlefield, you know?” She reflects that writing so many diverse characters was daunting at times. “First of all, wanting to get it right. Separate to that, the young adult genre is famous for holding its authors to an incredibly high standard, because these books are sold to children and vulnerable people, who are at these really crucial stages of development.”

Nevertheless, Caroline has succeeded in creating a captivating novel that is bound to resonate with anyone who has ever felt like an outsider. At its heart, All Our Hidden Gifts celebrates the spine-tingling magic that happens when marginalised people show up for each other and stand up for what is right.

29

Pick of the Month

Directed by Tristan Aitchison

SHIVA BABY Directed by Emma Seligman News

TV

Film

DVD

Stream

Family gatherings have long been the source of unbearable anxiety – on screen and off – and this observational comedy about a Jewish college student sitting shiva cranks up the cringe to the extreme. Danielle (Rachel Sennott) arrives late, doesn’t know who died and is confronted with both her law-school bound ex-girlfriend and current sugar daddy – as well as his secret wife and child. If that wasn’t enough, she’s at the centre of her parents’ inane bickering and constantly forced to defend her gender studies degree, lack of employment potential, weight loss, and non-existent boyfriend to any random family member who recognises her. With an intense, almost horror-like score and claustrophobic camerawork, this is the sharp, funny bisexual drama we’ve been waiting for that will leave you both laughing out loud and gasping for air.

Directed by Chloé Zhao

is a writer and movie buff with a penchant for female-led flicks. @kathalstead 30 JUNE 2021

This powerful and poignant documentary centres the lives of trans and intersex people in modern-day Nairobi, Kenya, revealing through intimate interviews the discrimination they experience from being shunned, beaten and humiliated to being refused medical treatment and denied ID to confirm their true gender for work. The film explores identities and labels, and the points at which the LGBTQI community intersects and diverges in the pursuit of individual freedoms. Compassionately treated, with delicate cinematography and an immersive score, the film balances the traumas of its subjects with their bravery and warmth – offering a flicker of hope amid the darkness.

Available on Amazon Prime now

THE HUMAN VOICE Directed by Pedro Almodóvar

Available on MUBI from 11 June

NOMADLAND

KAT HALSTEAD

SIDNEY & FRIENDS

This year Chloé Zhao became the first woman of colour and only the second woman ever to win Best Director at the Oscars. It’s a historic win and well deserved for this beautiful, restless meditation on grief, belonging and existential yearning that sees Frances McDormand (awarded Best Actress) build a life in her RV after losing everything in the Great Recession. Pieced together as a series of moments and interactions, with much of the cast real-life nomads, it’s an intimate portrait of a woman’s search for freedom amid the vast plains of the American West.

In cinemas now

Witty, passionate, unapologetically theatrical, this short film is Almodóvar through and through. With the camera focused solely on Tilda Swinton, the film effectively stops time, capturing a life moment: a woman awaiting a final visit from her ex-lover, trapped in an elaborate apartment within the confines of a stark, empty warehouse. There’s a Beckett-like uncanniness to her situation, and Swinton’s performance is captivating throughout the 30-minute running time, lurching from indifference to desperation, pain to determination – all in searching close-ups and vivid Technicolor.

In cinemas now

PHOTO EL DESEO

BY KAT HALSTEAD

SCREEN

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Mandana (left) and Simone at the first Bad Girls reunion event

BAD GIRLS REUNITED TWENTY YEARS SINCE APPEARING ON THE COVER OF DIVA, BAD GIRLS SIMONE LAHBIB AND MANDANA JONES REUNITE TO TALK ABOUT OUR ENDURING OBSESSION WITH HELEN AND NIKKI

More info on Contents page 3

32 JUNE 2021

CULTURE | BAD GIRLS

WORDS CARRIE LYELL

It’s a teenage dream come true: I’m face to face with actors Simone Lahbib and Mandana Jones – better known as Larkhall wing governor Helen Stewart and lifer Nikki Wade.

Their love story in ITV drama Bad Girls captured my baby gay heart and the hearts of a million other women-loving women in the late 90s and early noughties, and even today, 20 years since they left the show, we’re still utterly obsessed. Ahead of a third eagerly anticipated reunion event in September, raising much-needed funds for the Eilidh Brown Memorial Fund (eilidhbrown.co.uk), I had to know, what are Helen and Nikki doing now?

So many people still hold the show – and your characters – close to their hearts, and new audiences are coming to it even now.

MANDANA JONES: It’s absolutely extraordinary, isn’t it? I never use that E word lightly, but it is extraordinary. Why do I think it is?

I really don’t know, which is a crap answer.

I can only guess it’s because maybe we got some things right. Maybe we got some nuance in there. Maybe we made it quite real.

Maybe they liked the characters? I just don’t know, is the truth, but it amazes me that people keep watching it and watching it... why do you think it is?

SIMONE LAHBIB: Well, I think there’s various reasons. The obvious ones are that, unbelievably, and tell me if I’m wrong, isn’t it still the longest same-sex love story that’s been on TV? MANDANA: Wow, I didn’t know that.

SIMONE: You got to know the heart of both the characters and their struggles. You got to see them in different situations and I think you couldn’t help but end up caring for them both, wanting to see them together and happy. The reasons for that? I would imagine a lot of gay women identified with the struggle, with the obstacles.

The whole prison thing obviously was representative of the kind of barriers and walls and things. Families, other people, judgement... all of these things, were kind of represented, I think, by the prison. And then to see them manage to get out. It continues to be one of the questions that we’re asked a lot: “Where do you imagine they are now?”

MANDANA: Mowing the lawn.

SIMONE: [Laughs] And having walks on Sundays, enjoying in-depth talks about books.

I’m always very keen to suggest that they’re still together, still happy.

Bad Girls was one of the first times I’d seen strong, fully rounded female characters on screen, and gay women that weren’t caricatures. And Helen and Nikki’s wasn’t a flash in the pan romance that ended in tears.

They lived, as far as we know, happily ever after, and that’s something that even today, 20 years on, we still don’t see.

A lot of gay women identified with the struggle” SIMONE: There was a possibility of me leaving the show, at one point, because of networks and all the rest of it, but I didn’t.

Even though there was part of me, my pride, that wanted to go “Fuck you”, I wanted to finish the story. I thought it was really important that they had that happy ending that was planned.

So I swallowed my pride and we finished the story, didn’t we?

MANDANA: We did.

When you set a drama in prison, it’s a bit like what we’ve had with this corona effect now, we’ve all been incarcerated to some extent, from our normal flow of life.

It really intensifies whatever you’re feeling and turns up the dial of the intensity of the human experience. Setting it in a prison, with one person on one side and one person on another, makes that desire to connect so much stronger than if you removed those bars.

How I saw it is that Nikki sees Helen and sees yes, she’s a gorgeous woman, but she’s also pretty smart and she’s not representative of the system that she is a part of. She’s humane, she cares, she’s compassionate, she’s thoughtful, she’s sensitive, she’s genuine. She’s not just doing a job.

I think part of her connection with Helen is

because she recognises a very authentic person who really is trying to make a difference.

Who is really, really genuine. And it’s refreshing to her. Helen and Nikki gave light to each other to be themselves, which is really all you want, in a relationship. If someone can’t give you that, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m out the door. They gave each other licence to be who they authentically really are, rather than a version of themselves.

And they also gave themselves the agency to actually access that.

SIMONE: That is very true. There you were in prison, with a lot of self-sabotage and upset and hurt and all the feelings she was feeling.

Entrapment, the giving up of hope. But Helen never gave up hope in you. And that rekindled your hope in yourself. Sorry, I’m saying you. I mean Nikki! Conversely, Nikki helped Helen realise her sexuality, her true self. So yeah, you’re very right, that’s true.

This event in September will be the third reunion. What sort of stories have you heard from the women who’ve come along?

SIMONE: We were blown away.

Especially the first one. There was a real sense of pent-up stories, and finally having the opportunity to share those with us was huge. There were several people who came forward and said “That story, your representation, literally saved my life”.

MANDANA: We had bin liners full of mail with stories like that in it.

We’re not exaggerating, are we? Bin liners. I remember one, it said: “I am a 75-year-old gay woman and I’m about to go upstairs and tell my 96-year-old bed-ridden mother that I’m gay. I’m going to come out.” Literally. I was reading it going, “Oh my god! Don’t! She might have a heart attack!” [Laughs] I don’t know if her mum’s still alive!

SIMONE: [Laughs] Don’t do it unless she’s got plastic sheeting! There’s going to be a hell of a mess...

MANDANA: That was amazing. I feel really proud to have been a part of a programme which may, in some way, have helped people to find a voice, or just be themselves. I feel like, ok, I’ve done something on this planet.

Maybe. I might not have done much since, admittedly. But I did that!

Find out Simone and Mandana’s thoughts on the Bad Girls reboot we’ve been longing for at divamag.co.uk. Tickets for the Bad Girls Reunion are on sale now at bgreunion.co.uk 33

BY ERICA GILLINGHAM

BOOKS

CULTURE | BOOKS Book of the Month

HOT

FICTION

STERLING KARAT GOLD Isabel Waidner

Isabel Waidner’s writing is electric.

Kinetic, peripatetic, suspect, the reader knows as little about where they are — and yet everything — as Sterling does in Sterling Karat Gold, the new novel from the author of We Are Made Of Diamond Stuff. The book opens with Sterling backed into a bullfight in the middle of Camden Town. They are the bull, and everyone knows that the bull always loses. They do — and then they find that they are to blame, liable for damages, threatened with legal action and pursued. As things go from bad to absurd, Sterling and their fellow working-class, gendernonconforming artist best friends cross the barriers of time and space to realign the mechanisms designed for obliteration. This book is an act of retribution, delightfully so.

Peninsula Press, £12.99

OFF THE PRESSES

Check out the latest titles from LGBTQI authors for Pride Month...

We Can Do Better Than This Amelia Abraham (editor) Essays, Vintage, £14.99

The Ex-Girlfriend Of My ExGirlfriend Is My Girlfriend Maddy Court Advice, Chronicle Books, £14.99

Queer Between The Covers Leila Kassir, Richard Espley (editors) Essays, University of Chicago Press, £15

One Last Stop Casey McQuiston Young Adult, St Martin’s Griffin, £13.99

Bi The Way Lois Shearing Nonfiction, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, £12.99

My Autobiography Of Carson McCullers Jenn Shapland Biography, Virago, £16.99

Not My Problem Ciara Smyth Young Adult, Andersen Press, £7.99

ERICA GILLINGHAM is a queer poet, writer and bookseller with a PhD in lesbian love stories and kissing. @ericareadsqueer 34 JUNE 2021

NONFICTION

GRAPHIC NOVEL

ALL THE THINGS SHE SAID

ALONE IN SPACE

Daisy Jones

Tillie Walden

“Lesbian is a word that means a lot of things and nothing definitive at all.

To write about lesbian culture, then... is to write about something that is ephemeral and sometimes impossible to grasp.” We found ourselves nodding to the closing remarks of Daisy Jones’ first chapter What Is A Lesbian Anyway? in her debut book All The Things She Said: Everything I Know About Modern Lesbian And Bi Culture. Part journalism, part personal reflection, Jones sets out to capture what it’s like to be a lesbian or bisexual person today. This “love letter of sorts” to inclusive queer women’s culture is perfect for anyone who’s just come out, wants to know what the heck’s going on or has yearned for an entire chapter dedicated to the film Carol.

If you haven’t yet encountered the surreal drawings and queer stories of longing found in Tillie Walden’s comics, then you’re in for a revelation. Publishing six books in six years, Walden is best known for her graphic novels, but it was her shorter books that originally caught the attention of the comics world. Avery Hill is now releasing a collection of those early works in one volume: Alone In Space. This compendium includes the fantastical The End Of Summer, about a boy’s recovery from illness, an endless winter and a giant cat, as well as the dreamlike coming-of-age tale A City Inside. The highlight is I Love This Part, a quiet story about a first queer relationship and breakup. It’s breathtakingly beautiful and worth the whole book.

Coronet, £16.99

Avery Hill, £24.99

CULTURE | MUSIC

We’re All Gonna Die, But Here’s My Contribution

Introducing Boyish, Brooklyn-based queer indie duo India Shore and Claire Altendahl. A nostalgic take on their shared experience of quarantine life, the EP dives into themes of forced introspection, anxiety and the banality of everyday life.

Cathartic and honest, lo-fi and spiritual, this dreamy alt-pop compilation will soothe a sleepy soul.

MUSIC

BOYISH

BY LAURA HOWARD

Pick of the Month

EP

EP

K.FLAY

ALBUM

L’RAIN Fatigue

PHOTOS CREATIVE COMMONS/PASS THE AUX, JASON AL-TAAN

Fatigue is the forthcoming follow-up LP from experimentalist and multiinstrumentalist, Taja Cheek. Cheek’s collages of personal experience are guided by genres that stretch from post-punk to free jazz to R&B and beyond. This latest creation demands contemplation from open ears with an array of keyboards, synths and hauntingly delicate vocals to create a genre that is entirely her own. The album is released on 25 June via Mexican Summer.

Inside Voices

Listening to the latest release from Chicago-born singer, rapper and musician Kristine Flaherty, aka K.Flay, we’re reminded of the effervescent, sweaty, jump-up-and-down gigs that originally got us hooked on live music. Flaherty describes the themes on Inside Voices as “the things in your head that you don’t normally say out loud. The thoughts bouncing in your brain like pinballs.” This melting pot of dark electro, art-pop and industrial rock stylings is skilfully served up across five tracks, featuring rock royalty collabs with the likes of Travis Barker (Blink-182) and Tom Morello (Rage Against The Machine). The EP is released on 11 June via BMG. ALBUM

EMILY WOLFE Outlier

Hold your guitar picks aloft for the triumphant return of talented Texan, Emily Wolfe. Wolfe has wasted no time in applying every shred of grit, passion and drive to a follow-up album which packs all the energy of her self-titled debut and more. From a foundation of true musicianship emerges a fresh sound that marries 70s rock, 80s pop, 90s grunge and modern pop influences to really showcase everything she has to offer as an artist, overdelivering on her commitment to “creating songs that will stand the test of time”. The album is released on 25 June via Crows Feet Records.

ALBUM

ROSIE TUCKER Sucker Supreme

In the world of Sucker Supreme, sing-song alto melodies are the land, detailed lyricism is the sea and Rosie Tucker is an amphibian explorer. On their third album to date, Tucker bravely ventures into bigger, brighter and louder territory than ever before in the pursuit of self-discovery, self-definition and self-redefinition. If you’re already Google-Mapping how to navigate this extended metaphor, let Tucker lead the way with their unique brand of sometimes sad, sometimes funny and always playfully articulated folk-punk. It’s streaming everywhere now and out on hard copy from 18 June.

LAURA HOWARD is a friendly northern muso and aspiring radio DJ. @howardoyoudo 35

REALTALK

REAL TALK | SMEAR TESTS

38

The fight for equality Valentino Vecchietti asks why intersex needs are still being ignored

ervical cancer screening letters inspire anxiety and dread in thousands of women, but smear tests can also empower you. If you’ve ever heard the saying “Eat the frog”, the same applies to getting that smear test out of the way.

The best part is knowing you’ve done everything in your power to look out for your health, and you’ll feel stronger coming out the other side of the experience. Here are four ways having a smear test will empower you.

A POWERFUL AFFIRMATION OF YOUR MATERNAL DESIRES (OR NOT!) I always thought that I wanted to adopt my children, but I realised that I wanted a baby during my smear test.

There was something about exploring my cervical health that cut through the barriers to pregnancy I’d built around myself. It turned out that my deep fear of gynaecological examinations and invasion had convinced me that I didn’t want children biologically. With my smear test out of the way, I discovered a profound desire to carry a child.

However, this doesn’t mean every woman is supposed to feel like this!

For me, my smear test was a way past the obstacles, but it can be just as powerful in the opposite direction for some women. If you’re unsure whether you want children or not, a smear test might help you find the answer. After all, it’s your cervix, and it exists as a part of your body and not as a baby-making machine. It’s completely up to you if you choose not to have children or to adopt instead of giving birth.

Becoming more in tune with your body allows you to make better decisions on your motherhood stance. Being examined intimately reflected my idea of childbirth and all the gynaecological appointments that conception and pregnancy would bring. It was like something unlocked in me, and I could finally see my real desires.

FREEDOM FROM FEAR AND ANXIETY

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Dear Ali Ali Hendry has some advice for reader’s problems

36 JUNE 2021

AHEAD OF CERVICAL SCREENING AWARENESS WEEK, MELANIE ASHFORD LOOKS AT THE BENEFITS OF GETTING TESTED

Most women experience some form of anxiety about intimate examinations, whether it’s worrying about someone seeing your body or stress-

ing about the results. Almost everybody approaches smear tests with some nerves, so you’re not alone.

If you’re a survivor of sexual abuse or assault, smear tests can be a nightmare. But pushing through the fear barrier can help you reclaim your body and aid recovery. It’s essential to do this in your own time, though, as doing too much too soon is detrimental to your mental health and can set your recovery back.

Returning to the expression “Eat the frog”, if having your smear test is something you put off, consider just getting it over with. It isn’t worth months of agony, beating yourself around the head with the fact that you should have booked an appointment or that you really should have had your smear test done already.

You’ll only be in the room for 10 minutes, and for most of that, you’re fully dressed.

I was terrified when I finally attended my first smear test. I left it until I was 30, based on fear. It was something that reverberated in my head all the time. I was on a constant guilt trip, knowing that I really should get a smear test. It became a continuous source of stress and worry in my life. In the end, I booked an appointment just to end the anxiety. On coming out of the clinic, I was shaking, but I felt amazing. I’d done it. I’d faced my fears, eaten that frog, and ended months of angst.

On top of this, I’m much less afraid of smear tests now, and I have more confidence in accessing intimate medical care.

ASSURANCE THAT YOU’RE TAKING CHARGE OF YOUR HEALTH

ASHFORD is a demisexual lesbian from Wales. @fantasywriter inpyjamas

Since attending my smear, I’ve ditched a lot of worry and stress. That, on its own, is beneficial to my health, but knowing I’m on top of things does so much more for me. I can relax now, knowing that if there ever were anything untoward going on down there, a doctor would find it quickly, and I would get the chance to deal with it early.

Regular smears can protect you from ever developing cervical cancer, and in the event you do, you would get an earlier warning than you would otherwise.

Smear tests are also crucial for

your general health. Having an intimate examination is uncomfortable at the best of times, but it’s the only way to know for sure that your vaginal health is ok. Medical professionals are trained to spot many things, and staff will pick up anything unusual going on between your legs at your smear test.

For me, getting a smear test offered comfort and reassurance. I no longer have to worry about missing abnormal cells, getting cancer or my “hooha” being unusual. I also have some extra confidence in intimate medical appointments, so I am more comfortable attending examinations in future.

Owning your health and looking after your vagina gives you so much confidence and takes a load off your back. You owe it to yourself to look after your health. No one else knows your body like you do, and taking this on is a profound act of self-love.

SEXUAL EMPOWERMENT AND A NEW LOVE FOR THE SELF Although smear tests may feel invasive and clinical, they also offer sexual empowerment. Busting through those fear barriers gave me confidence in my body, as well as awakening some-

thing primal within me. After years of anxiety and poor self-esteem, I felt sexy again. I felt “This is my body, and I feel pretty good in it”.

Taking this on is a profound act of self-love” Getting past that smear test let me ditch all my health worries and enjoy my body again. After years of fearing invasive and intimate appointments, my body was finally mine. Someone had looked right into me, and I lived to tell the tale, so I’d broken the ice on that aspect of my fears. Letting someone see me so intimately was terrifying, but it broke the ice of my fears and set me free. I could use my body for sexual pleasure again.

A smear test can be the breakthrough you need to reclaim your body following sexual assault, a bad relationship, or poor self-esteem. It’s liberating and gives you a sense of empowerment and freedom. If you feel like you’ve lost your connection

to sex or your sexual desires, a smear test might help you regain that.

I also gained a massive boost in self-love. I’d been brave enough to get a test that protects me from cancer; I’d taken my body back from a painful experience and broken through fears that had been holding me back for years. I felt like I’d fought hard for myself, and I loved myself for that.

Having a smear test can boost your confidence and inspire a freer attitude to sex. If you find yourself inhibited or holding back in the bedroom, getting a smear test could help you break those barriers. Smear tests allow you to feel more comfortable with your body, especially the intimate parts.

Although your smear test is a nerve-racking and uncomfortable thing to get through, remember all the positives surrounding it. It’s one of the best gifts you can give your body, and it might do wonders for your mental health too. You’ll also likely be more comfortable seeking gynaecological care in the future, whether you have children or not, and that’s no bad thing.

Cervical Screening Awareness Week takes place 14-20 June. Find out more at jostrust.org.uk 37

REAL TALK | VALENTINO VECCHIETTI

The fight for equality VALENTINO VECCHIETTI asks why intersex needs are still being ignored

“We do not have equality until we all have equality”

VALENTINO VECCHIETTI is a writer, academic, intersex human rights campaigner and a lesbian. They founded Intersex Equality Rights UK. @ValentinoInter

38 JUNE 2021

I

am very happy for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans communities who celebrated inclusion in the 2021 Census this year, and I shared their excitement and anticipation for how this would lead to increased funding and support for LGBT communities across England and Wales. But I also felt anger, sadness and outrage to see that the 2021 Census overlooked people with intersex variations.

Just like everyone else, people born with variations in their sex characteristics intersect with lesbian, gay, bisexual and straight sexualities. As well as with trans, non-binary, binary and cisgender identities. And, of course, our population also intersects with race, class and disability.

I campaign for the I to be kept visible after the T, LGBTIQ, not just because many of us are subject to similar experiences of prejudice, but also because LGBT organisations have well-established support mechanisms, funding pathways and strategies for successful public awareness-raising campaigns. This is exactly what we need to help us gain: inclusion in the Equalities Act 2010, protection from hate crime, access to ethical healthcare as adults and to put an end to non-consensual surgeries in childhood.

I recently founded Intersex Equality Rights UK, a non-profit organisation which campaigns for inclusion, equity and representation, as well as providing support for organisations to ethically include people with intersex variations.

We have everything to fight for and we urgently need allyship.

But we have a long way to go for LGB and T people to even understand what intersex is. And we need to start seeing ethical and knowledgeable inclusion from the LGBT community.

In 2018 the UK government Office for National Statistics recruited me and many other intersex “stakeholders” to discuss the 2021 Census, and to look at developing questions for our population to be included. I would have liked the ONS and related government offices

to inform me that they had decided to exclude us. I think that is the least they could have done. It’s unethical to leave us to discover at the last minute that we had been excluded when so much was at stake. All those who gave up their time and energy in this research should have been informed in advance and should have been given the opportunity to question the government’s decision. It’s not like there wasn’t time from 2018 to 2021.

There was plenty of time.

The 2021 Census’ exclusion of “variations in sex characteristics”, as an indicator of those who fall under the intersex umbrella in the UK, perpetuates the erasure of the needs of our relatively large population. We comprise 1.7% of the population; in the UK that is over 1.1 million. Worldwide we are a population of over 130 million. But because the UK government made a decision to leave us out of the 2021 Census, we will continue to be left out of funding considerations for our community.

I would like to see the LGBT community supporting us with their outrage that we have been excluded. When making gains in the LGBT community, which at the same time ignore and exclude intersex, I would like our wider LGBT community to stand together with us in solidarity and ask, “Why are the needs of the UK intersex population still being ignored?”

Communities cannot simply celebrate the gains they make without paying attention to those who continue to be excluded and left behind. We do not have equality until we all have equality.

As we approach Pride month, I wholeheartedly want to celebrate with LGBT communities the gains they have made through inclusion in the 2021 Census. But I also need to see that the LGBT community can find space amid their celebrations to question why the UK government continues to exclude those born with intersex variations. And to support us with allyship by joining with us to protest that exclusion and to demand intersex equality.

This summer, show your true colours and #SubscribeWithPride

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REAL TALK | DEAR ALI

Dear Ali...

THIS MONTH, DIVA’S RESIDENT AGONY AUNT, ALI HENDRY, TACKLES DIPPING YOUR TOES IN THE DATING POOL WHEN YOU’RE QUEER AND DISABLED

DO E A YOU HMAVWE CAN PROBELLEP WITH? H il dearali@ Ema g.co.uk divama

Dear Ali, With restrictions easing, I’m thinking about getting into the dating game at long last. There’s one problem. As a queer, autistic, non-binary woman/femme, dating actually scares me, because of my difficulty with social interactions, and the fear of getting rejected because of me being non-binary; not to mention the tension with my family on my queerness. How do I navigate dating as a queer, disabled person?

D

Dear D Thank you for getting in touch. This is such a timely question – as restrictions ease, people are beginning to unfurl their dating wings. You are not alone with fears around rejection.

Plus, being non-binary and autistic, and not having the support of family, you feel these are compounding your fears.

FEAR OF REJECTION

ALI HENDRY is a holistic relationship coach. She currently has space for new clients. alihendry.co.uk Follow Ali on Twitter @ali_hendry and Clubhouse the_ali_h 40 JUNE 2021

Fear has been described as “False Evidence Appearing Real”. Although fear feels very real, and often convinces us to do (or not do) things, we can break fear down into sensations in our bodies – maybe a tightening of the chest, a lump in the stomach, clenched jaw, sweaty skin. Tune in to where your body holds your fear and use relaxation and breathing techniques to unhook its bodily hold

on you. From this, the cognitive part of fear has the opportunity to start releasing its hold.

YOU ARE WHOLE We are the sum of our parts. Our individual differences enrich the LGBTQIA+ community and the world at large. Exploring differences in others allows for personal growth, deeper compassion and recognition that every single one of us has a place in this world. Who you are and how your brain works means everyone you interact with has the opportunity to connect with a unique, amazing human being.

Sometimes it can feel like the world operates on two levels.

One level relates to what society demands: the social norms, expectations, unwritten rules. The other level relates to our own thoughts, feelings

and experiences within the world.

When there is disparity between the two, it can shake up our sense of identity. “Who I am” and “Who I am meant to be” crash against each other. By talking to others with similar experiences, this friction can become less jarring.

NON-BINARY DATING Being non-binary provides the perfect opportunity to immediately weed out those who do not respect your personal values. Choose a dating app where you can state your gender as non-binary and where there is space to write about yourself.

By putting it on your profile, you are instantly drawing from a pool of people who will respect your gender and pronouns. If someone misses this information and starts chatting, and you later discover they do not honour who you are, remember their opinions are their opinions, and nothing to do with who you are as a person. I know this is easier said than done, so find a way to keep reminding yourself that being true to who you are is a totally attractive quality.

DATING AS AUTISTIC Again, if you want to immediately draw from a pool of people who are open to dating someone who is autistic, write it in your profile. Choose a dating app with the functionality to Like and/or Friend people, and

GUIDE TO ATTRACTING YOUR NEXT ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP This is an exercise to help you explore areas that are important to you in a relationship. Draw a wheel with eight spokes. In each section write a heading.

Sample headings: Intimacy, Love, Sex,

Commitment, Identity, Sensory, Family, Hobbies.

Then write notes on why this is important to you and how it will show up in your relationship.

Think about how and when you might share this information with a new partner.

Also, take the free 5 Love Languages Quiz to discover how you show love: 5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/singles-quiz

you open up the possibility for new friendships with queer people who have autism or who have family members with autism spectrum condition (ASC).

Alternatively, you may choose not to mention it, and feel more comfortable building up a connection via written words first. Perhaps the growing connection would enable them to be more open-minded when you decide to share that you are autistic. Conversely, it could be wasted time if the reality is they were always going to be misaligned with who you are. So, think about what feels right for you, in terms of what you say and when you say it.

FAMILY MATTERS You mentioned the tension in your family around being queer. Could you share some educational resources with them? Take it slow – they may need a lot of time to process the information. Try not to take it personally if they don’t immediately respond – remember, you are much further along with your knowledge and understanding than they are.

They may also be grieving for who they thought you were, and that can take time too. If they simply cannot understand, it is they who don’t understand. You understand yourself,

you are living with you, so being ok with who you are is the priority. And it is their loss for missing out on knowing the spectacular human that you are. Work on setting boundaries around any questions they may have.

For example, tell them that you can’t answer a particular question immediately, and that you will get back to them as soon as you can. Remember, you are completely entitled to choose your own “family” via friendships and communities.

TAKE YOUR TIME Perhaps before you embark on the dating game, spend time exploring the kind of relationship you are looking for. By gaining clarity, you are more likely to seek out and attract what you are looking for. Use it as an opportunity to work out your relationship non-negotiables. Outline all the things you want a potential partner to know about you, and work out the best way of communicating that information with them.

ALI RECOMMENDS FIND YOUR COMMUNITY Meetup app A platform full of friendly groups for every imaginable interest, connecting people locally, nationally and internationally. Check out London International Lesbians for starters: they welcome womxn and non-binary folk of all abilities and disabilities.

Clubhouse app An audio social media platform. Join the DIVA Community Club for a range of daily talks including Ali’s Relationship Room every Monday at 19.30.

GETTING EDUCATED TEDx: Gender As A Performance Entertaining and engaging talk on being non-

binary, by speaker, trainer, performer and activist Ali Hannon.

Website: Genderbread.org Clear information on gender identity and gender expression.

Book: Far From The Tree by Andrew Solomon Covering parents, children and the search for identity. The young adult edition includes interviews with families with autistic and trans kids.

Instagram: @Char_bailey_ An autistic Jamaican-Indian queer coach and educator. Watch her IG Live where she and her girlfriend discuss how they navigate their relationship.

41

SEX 46

My secret sex diary Vic reveals how to keep the spark alive after two decades

47

Sexy Bits The hottest toys, tips and temptations this month

42 JUNE 2021

The scissoring special Since the dawn of time, queer women have argued ferociously about whether or not scissoring is a thing.

In all likelihood, gay cavewomen were debating scissoring long before scissors were even invented. I like to think that back then they called it Doing The Betty Rubble.

But before we go any further down this rampant rabbit hole, let’s sort out exactly what this scissoring malarkey is. Imagine two pairs of open scissors... trying to make each other come. Too abstract? Hmm, how to explain... As a youngster my favourite thing to do with my Barbie dolls was make them scissor. I’d yank their legs in opposite directions and rub their plastic mounds together until they forgot all about Ken. Still too vague? Ok, how about this? You and a hot, horny, consensual queer person are on a bed/floor/bouncy castle with your legs spread. Your mission? To get your saucy bits to rub up against their saucy bits in a way that turns you both on. Fun game, huh? One of you could be lying on your back while the other attempts a landing from above. Or perhaps you’re both sat up but reclining slightly, your legs overlapping so you’re almost joined at the pelvis, just how Barbie liked it. At this point, you may have to experiment to find the magic position, if indeed there is one. A sweaty mass of tangled limbs can be intensely erotic, or, if there’s no real lift-off, kind of embarrassing. All of a sudden you’re just two disappointed, naked

IS SCISSORING THE QUINTESSENTIAL QUEER SEX ACT OR A LOAD OF OLD CODSWALLOP? ROXY

BOURDILLON INVESTIGATES

people frantically smooshing your privates together, feeling nothing but cramp and humiliation.

Scissoring, also known as “making tortillas” or “polishing mirrors”, might be the most divisive queer sex act of all. In a flashback in Orange Is The New Black, Poussey tries and fails to do it with her girlfriend, exclaiming, “I told you scissoring wasn’t a thing!” Then there’s Blue Is The Warmest Colour, which is pretty much a three-hour game of lesbian sex bingo. Boob-grabbing, muff-diving, finger-blasting, ass-eating, 69-ing and – most famously of all – reverse cowgirl scissoring. In a viral video

Some people scissor.

Get over it”

More info on Contents page 3

showing lesbians reacting to those scenes, a cynic in a leather jacket stares the camera down and declares definitively, “The scissoring: wish it could happen. Never happened once in human history”. OITNB star Lea DeLaria is another notable nonbeliever. On an episode of HuffPost Live she bellows, “It’s not a thing! Are you kidding?!”

However, not everyone agrees with her royal butchness. In a YouTube video titled My First Time Scissoring, influencer GlamNefercent is emphatic when she tells you, “This

SEX | SCISSORING SPECIAL shit ain’t a joke. The first time, my life changed for the better... Your moistness, her moistness, your warmness, her warmness, your pussy, her pussy... It’s just sexy. Getting head is always good, but fucking scissoring though.” She sighs wistfully, gazing off into the distance, contemplating scissoring. “Amazing.”

When I surveyed DIVA readers about their sex lives, 7% were adamant that scissoring isn’t real.

23% bloody loved scissoring. I hate to break it to you sceptics, but just because you don’t do it, or you tried once and got whacked in the face by your

partner’s left foot, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. If a queer couple scissors in the woods and no one is there to film it and upload it to Pornhub, guess what? They still scissored! And can we all just stop with the scissor-shaming please?

Some people scissor. Get over it. More people than you probably realise, in fact. According to a study into the sexual habits of women who have sex with women, published in the British Medical Journal in 2012, 90.8% of participants said they had scissored. Wondering why your friend hasn’t replied to your WhatsApp? Statistically speaking, she’s probably too busy scissoring.

In her video, Literally How To Scissor, lesbian sexpert Stevie Boebi sums up the situation. “I know so many people who say, ‘No lesbians scissor’, and I know so many people who say, ‘Everyone hates scissoring, but I like it’, when in reality it’s just like every other sex act. Some people do it. Some people don’t.”

If you’re still convinced that scissoring is a myth, this next revelation will blow your mind.

It’s not just people who scissor.

It occurs in the animal kingdom too, particularly among female bonobos. It’s well documented that bonobos, sometimes

referred to as the “Make Love, Not War apes”, have extremely active and creative sex lives. Girl-on-girl tribadism (that’s humping to you and me) is the species’ most common sexual activity. They are anatomically suited to scissoring because they have these massive clitorises that can be seen waggling about when they walk.

Field researchers have spotted many a bonobo scissoring away merrily with their bono-bae, shrieking with ecstasy as they climax. They are said to engage in scissoring, on average, once every two hours. What a way to live! I used to think I wanted to win the lottery, but maybe I just want to... be a bonobo? They’ve really got life sussed.

But wait. It gets better. “What could be better than bi-hourly scissoring with your unstoppable mega-clit?” you ask.

“Do they order pizza too?” No, don’t be silly. They share banana bread.

Seriously though, bonobos aren’t just constantly scissoring because it feels fucking fantastic. They use it as a social bonding strategy to create close connections with other females.

Basically, they form their own horny girl gangs, so they can work together to stand up to aggressive males. Oh my god. Sorry Big Boo, but not only is scissoring very much a thing, it might just be the secret to destroying the patriarchy.

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Toys to make your scissor sizzle TAKE YOUR SCISSORING GAME TO THE NEXT LEVEL ROCKHER SCISSORING MINI VIBRATOR Created by queer women for queer women, this nifty little gadget is a scissoring secret weapon for couples where at least one partner has a vulva. wetforher.com, £58.95

LIBERATOR SEX WEDGE

Beginner’s guide to scissoring DYKTIONARY DEFINITIONS Tribadism: Grinding against any part of a partner’s body.

Scissoring: A type of tribadism, where two (or more) people rub their genitals together.

the sexy sex nerds advise stretching before scissoring.

All If you’re worried that might kill the mood, how about incorporating it into a frisky roleplay? Suggested scenario: Gen Q’s Sinley at couples’ yoga.

An ideal aid to help you and your partner find (and maintain!) that perfect position for maximum pleasure.

Especially useful for disabled or plus size folks. lovehoney.co.uk, £89.99

the hell up. Scissoring thrives with a bit of slip Lube and slide. don’t have to be cis to scissor. Trans women and You non-binary people without a vulva can have a lovely time enjoying this sex act, too. As it’s traditionally thought of as a lez/bi pursuit, plenty of folks find it a great way to affirm their gender identity and/or sexual orientation.

MIMI SOFT CLITORAL VIBRATOR Beloved for its trademark deep, rumbly motor.

Slide this small-butmighty device between you and your partner and prepare for earthshuddering sensations. jejoue.co.uk, £70

and your partner both have vulvas, making clit-on Ifclityoucontact can be tricky, like solving the world’s tiniest Rubik’s Cube or finding two needles in two haystacks.

Struggling to meet in the right spot, no matter which way you bend? Try popping a vibrator between your bodies and go buck wild. how you look and focus on how you feel. You don’t Forget have to impersonate a porn star. Experiment with rubbing up against each other to find out what (if anything) feels best for you.

WAND VIBRATOR The beauty of a magic wand is all that wonderful buzzing.

These vibrations are so intense, you’ll both feel the benefit when you’re getting your grind on. kandid.com, £59.99

doesn’t do it for you? Fear not, bold sexual Scissoring adventurer! Tribadism just might. Tribbing is an umbrella term that includes scissoring, but means there are more body parts to choose from. Grind your bits on their thigh, ass, elbow – whatever tickles your pickle. you’re not into it, don’t stress! Scissoring is not for Ifeverybody.

Literally. A lot of its success depends on pre-

CLANDESTINE MIMIC PLUS Shaped like a sexy stingray, the ergonomic design means it fits snugly between bodies.

It’s also waterproof, therefore suitable for deep-sea scissoring. adulttoymegastore.co.uk, £122.95

44 JUNE 2021

cisely how you and your partner’s bits are positioned on your bods.

SAFETY SCISSORS

This sex act often involves direct genital contact between partners. That means fluids can be exchanged, so make sure you get an STI test before you embark on any scissor-happy-fun-times. Many experts also recommend the use of barrier methods like dental dams or latex underwear designed for sexual activity (you can snag a pair at mylorals.com).

SEX | SCISSORING SPECIAL

Se perts on scissoring TRIBBING TIPS FROM QUEER SEX EDUCATORS

SCISSOR TO SET THE TONE

JUST KEEP RUBBING

EMBRACE THE GRIND

“Yes, scissoring is a real thing and there’s so many different variations of it. Now, me personally, yes, s I scissor! Imagine their legs open and I’m in between and I raise up to where both of our clits are hitting each other.

For me, that’s like foreplay for getting in the mood... If you want to, you can slide a thin, little vibrator in there. It kind of spices up the action. And you can also finger from that position.”

Amber’s Closet in her YouTube video, Answering Your Lesbian Sex Questions

“Get the porn scenes out of your head. It doesn’t necessarily look like that.

Just do what makes you feel good. Everybody’s bodies are different and the scissoring position can be altered to match your bodies.

Whichever way feels the best is the way you go. If your vulva is higher up on your body, then the sitting up scissoring position can be really pleasurable. Or if your vulva is lower, then maybe the lying down position is better for you. Just keep rubbing until you find out what’s right for you.”

Sex educator duo Come Curious in their video, How To Scissor

“There were lots of psychological reasons why people liked grinding.

They talked about intimacy and emotional connection. Another psychological reason why people liked grinding was that it actually felt affirming of their sexuality, sexual orientation, gender. Because grinding, or more specifically tribbing or scissoring, is really associated with queer sex, participating in this sexual activity can actually be a turn-on because if feels so gay or so queer.”

Eva Bloom from What’s My Body Doing, sharing findings from their survey about grinding and scissoring

TRANS FOLKS SCISSOR TOO “It can be done with or without your clothes on and in several different positions. You can be lying on top or on bottom of your partner, you can press a thigh between their legs. One of my favourites is one partner sitting on the other’s lap facing each other, with a magic wand placed between both people’s bits.”

Tobi Hill-Meyer in Girl Sex 101 by Allison Moon and KD Diamond

To scissor or not to scissor?

DIVA READERS HAVE THEIR SAY

“I find penetrative sex painful and I get so much more pleasure from being stimulated on the outside. That’s why I love scissoring!”

“When people say it’s not real I’m like, ‘So I’m not real? My sex doesn’t count because it doesn’t fit your idea of what I should be doing with my body?’

That’s messed up.”

“I’ve tried scissoring a few times. With one ex, it was out of this world. After we split up, I attempted to recreate the magic with others, but it never seemed to work again. I guess it’s only anatomically possible for certain people.”

“As a trans lesbian, I find scissoring very identityaffirming. I think it’s because it’s always thought of as the lesbian sex act. That’s a big turn-on for me.”

“Stop trying to make scissoring happen.”

“Scissoring is not real! I literally don’t know any gay or bi women who do that. It’s something that was made up for straight men to watch in porn. Now eating pussy, that’s real.”

“Scissoring is too much effort! I’ve done it on the odd occasion, but honestly, I don’t have the energy or the upper body strength to be bothering with all that regularly.”

“I’m here to tell you that my girlfriend and I love scissoring. We like the thrusting motion. Plus we’re fans of clitoral stimulation, so the fact that we can both get that at the same time is super hot.”

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SEX | MY SECRET SEX DIARY

AFTER TWO DECADES WITH THE SAME WOMAN, VIC REVEALS HOW TO KEEP THE SPARK ALIVE AS TOLD TO ROXY BOURDILLON

Want to share your secret sex diary?

Email roxy@divamag.co.uk

46 JUNE 2021

I’ve been with my wife for over 20 years. In that time, we’ve had many different sexual relationships. We’ve been energetic, but uninformed. We’ve been at it like rabbits, three times a night. We’ve been totally exhausted and entirely non-sexual new parents. We’ve been distant, unromantic bed partners. And then, post-affair, we’ve been newly attached partners having some of the best sex of our lives.

This latest phase, the one we’re in right now, is definitely my favourite.

It feels like we are open, honest sexual partners with great communication between us. It’s that feeling of a partnership, being in it together, that’s so crucial. We each take our responsibility for our own and each other’s pleasure very seriously. We know how important that is and we have a very healthy sex life. I would say I am satisfied with the quality of our sex. The only thing I would change is that I would love us to do it a bit more often. When we do get intimate, my absolute favourite thing is oral. Without a doubt. Giving and receiving are both wonderful.

“My orgasms are better in my late 40s than any I had in my 20s”

I’m versatile in bed, for sure. I can be a little aggressive or a little submissive. It all depends on what mood I’m in and how we’re connecting at that moment. I especially like it when she is feeling all confident and assertive. That’s a big turn-on for me. I feel at my sexiest when I’m all dressed up, ready to go out somewhere nice, or when we’re just at home but I’m maybe wearing something a little revealing and feeling flirtatious.

Of course, you never forget your first time with another woman. I certainly won’t forget mine. We’d been friends since we were kids. For years and years we danced around our mutual attraction. Then, after all that build up and increasing sexual tension, we finally got romantic with each other. It was so sensual and gentle. It was amazing.

That being said, one thing I’ve learned is that sex really does get better over time, if you invest in it. My orgasms are better now I’m in my late 40s than any I had in my 20s!

NAME HAS BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT PRIVACY

My secret sex diary

SEX | SEXY BITS

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Jewelled metal butt plug Is that a sparkly pink heart in your bottom or are you just pleased to see me? High femme glam for backdoor fun. £22.99 from lovehoney.co.uk

WORDS OF WISDOM

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TOUCH-ME-NOTS

THE GYNAE GEEK

“Part of the misconception is that they have been touched inappropriately or sexually assaulted in some type of way. And I guess, for some, that could be the case. But there’s also this idea that they’re insecure because they have boobs or they’re not comfortable with their bodies. And I just feel like, who are we to tell people why they don’t want to be touched... There’s something kind of radical about having that label and owning that label and having boundaries so clearly communicated from the jump. I think that’s dope.”

Dr Anita Mitra MBChb PhD MRCOG, aka The Gynae Geek, is on a mission to make it “less scary to own a vagina”. An invaluable resource for folks with vulvas, this account covers STDs, smear tests and so much more. @gynaegeek

YouTuber Jade Fox in her video, Let’s Talk About Touch-Me-Nots

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DECOLONISING CONTRACEPTION Community-based collective Decolonising Contraception knows that sexual and reproductive health is a human right.

The groundbreaking group is made up of awesome people of colour working in the field, all committed to changing damaging narratives and combating health inequalities that stem from racism. decolonisingcontraception.com 47

ESCAPE A

sporting chance for equality AHEAD OF THE OLYMPIC GAMES IN TOKYO, NADIA DAVIES EXAMINES WHAT LIFE IS LIKE FOR LGBTQI PEOPLE IN JAPAN

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Explore Joanna Whitehead on the best mountains to climb in the UK

48 JUNE 2021

ESCAPE | JAPAN I have always wanted to visit Japan – sitting in a noodle bar, sipping sake with the view of Mount Fuji in the distance. Japan is a country steeped in tradition. Home to more than a dozen UNESCO World Heritage Sites, it welcomes over 30 million visitors each year. But ahead of the Olympic Games, I’ve been wondering, what would it be like to visit with my girlfriend? And what is daily life like for queer people living there?

Unfortunately, protections for LGBTQI citizens and tourists in Japan are inconsistent at best, and in many cases non-existent. The reality is that legal protections change as you travel through the country, as Japan has no national human rights institutions or law prohibiting racial, ethnic or religious discrimination, or discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity.

In 2018 an important law was passed in the city of Tokyo, giving some protections to LGBTQI people.

However, Tokyo is one of only three of Japan’s 47 prefectures to have any laws specifically protecting LGBTQI people from discrimination based on their sexual orientation or gender identity.

The fact that there are no national anti-discrimination laws protecting queer people means that they can be subject to harassment or prejudice at work and in school, with no legal recourse. In such a traditional society, the Japanese saying “the nail that sticks out gets hammered down” is taken to heart, impacting the lives of those who do not conform. The charity Human Rights Watch says this creates an environment where queer young people in particular feel unable to talk about their experiences.

In schools, teachers are not given specific training around LGBTQI issues, and the focus is on “maintaining harmony” – not celebrating diversity.

Although trans people in Japan have been able to change their legal gender since 2004, the process is long and onerous, and subject to discriminatory requirements. Applicants must appeal to a family court, and they must be single and without children under the age of 20. They are forced to undergo psychological evaluation and surgical sterilisation. Despite promising to revise these laws, in 2019 the Japanese Supreme Court upheld a

NADIA DAVIES is an English student who likes cooking vegan food, drinking red wine and reading queer literature. @86_Storm_

lower court ruling which found that they did not violate the country’s constitution.

However, public support for LGBTQI people is steadily increasing.

A recent landmark ruling by a court in the district of Sapporo declared that laws that deprive same-sex couples of the legal benefits of marriage constituted “discriminatory treatment without a rational basis”. Despite this, only a few prefectures issue marriage certificates for same-sex couples and these are not legally binding documents.

In October 2020, a joint campaign was launched by the charities Human Rights Watch, All Out, J-ALL and Athlete Ally, to call on Japan’s political parties to work together to pass a national anti-discrimination law.

Legislation initiated by lawmakers can only be passed by the Japanese Diet if all parties agree on the content of any new legislation. The #EqualityActJapan campaign gathered over 100,000 signatures, which were delivered to leaders of seven of Japan’s political parties in

March this year.

With Tokyo set to host 2020’s postponed Olympic and Paralympic Games in July of this year, Japan has yet to enact any national legislation protecting LGBTQI people from discrimination. Its current equality laws fall well short of the requirements of the Olympic Charter, the Olympic Agenda 2020 and international human rights standards. Several Olympic events are set to take place in prefectures outside of Tokyo such as Hokkaido, Saitama, Chiba, Shizuoka, Kanagawa, Miyagi and Fukushima, which are not covered by Tokyo’s antidiscrimination ordinance. While it’s unlikely that fans and visitors will be able to attend events, due to Covid restrictions, LGBTQI athletes and officials will not be afforded any legal protections from harassment or discrimination based on their sexual orientation or gender identity. With the world watching, could this be a once-in-a-generation moment to achieve equality?

“THE SOCIETAL PRESSURE FOR CONFORMITY IS IMMENSE, LEAVING PEOPLE ISOLATED AND LONELY” DIVA SPEAKS TO KANAE DOI, JAPAN DIRECTOR OF HUMAN RIGHTS WATCH, TO FIND OUT WHAT LIFE IS LIKE FOR LGBTQI JAPANESE PEOPLE

What is daily life like for LGBTQI people in Japan?

Day-to-day life for LGBTQI people in Japan can be hard. There is a lack of acceptance and understanding at home and school which can lead to students being bullied, both by their teachers and other students. Some students who spoke to Human Rights Watch have even reported that their teachers have called them selfish and told them they will not succeed if they are out at school. Discrimination and harassment in the workplace are also common, meaning LGBTQI people are less likely to be out as their true selves at work. The societal pressure for conformity is immense, leaving people isolated and lonely.

What legal protections do LGBTQI people have in Japan?

Current equality and antidiscrimination laws in Japan fall short. Of 47 prefectures, only Tokyo, Mie and Ibaraki have anti-discrimination laws based

on sexual orientation and gender identity. In other prefectures there is no guidance from local or national governments to prohibit discrimination. This has a huge impact on how companies, city halls, schools, hospitals, even relatives treat LGBTQI people. Many people in Japan are still ignorant, indifferent or badly informed about LGBTQI people and the discrimination they face.

How would a change in the law affect LGBTQI people living in Japan?

A national law protecting citizens from discrimination based on their sexual orientation and gender identity would promote respect for the wonderful diversity of people in Japan, and help address the social pressure felt by LGBTQI people to conform to a life they do not feel comfortable in. This, in turn, would help all minorities and marginalised populations in Japan.

Is there support for same-sex

marriage in Japan?

The recent district court ruling, which declared the current ban on same-sex marriage registration unconstitutional, has been a major boost for same-sex marriage in Japan, and for LGBQTI rights as a whole. Although it will take years for marriage equality to pass in the Japanese Supreme Court, the Japanese Diet is feeling the pressure to address the inequalities that this ruling has pointed out and is already taking steps to address them.

How can the international LGBTQI community help in the fight for equality in Japan?

With the eyes of the international community on Japan as it prepares to host the 2020 Tokyo Olympic and Paralympic Games, momentum is gathering in the fight against LGBTQI discrimination. You can help raise awareness and add your voice to the call for equality, using #EqualityActJapan.

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EXPLORE

The breathtaking view from Snowdon

GOT AN IDEA FOR A TRAVEL HACK? SEND US YOUR TIPS TO TRAVEL@ DIVAMAG.CO.UK OR TWEET US @DIVAMAGAZINE

At this stage, we’re resigned to the prospect of a UK holiday this summer, and it’s a reality we’re genuinely excited about. The government restrictions that have curtailed foreign travel have forced us to explore the beauty on our doorstep. And the four nations that make up the United Kingdom have an incredible amount to offer, whether you’re seeking a city break packed with culture, food and drink, or are looking for some peace and solitude in the countryside in one of our 15 National Parks. For those who like a challenge with their downtime, we’ve chosen some of the best mountains to climb in the UK (including accessible options). Don’t forget to dress appropriately (lots of layers) and check the weather beforehand (it can change very quickly as you ascend).

Mam Tor, Derbyshire If you’ve never climbed a mountain before, it can feel intimidating. The key is to leave yourself plenty of time in order to make regular stops and to take it slow and steady. Walking sticks are also a good investment if you’re a bit unsteady on your feet.

At 517m, Mam Tor in the Peak District is a gentle mountain to climb, whether you’re an absolute beginner or a seasoned climber, with magical views of Peveril Castle, the Hope Valley and Vale of Edale.

Snowdon, Wales JOANNA WHITEHEAD is a Yorkshire lass based in London. @MsWhitehead100 50 JUNE 2021

This 1,085m peak is the highest in England and Wales and boasts breathtaking views all the way to Ireland on a clear day. With six routes to the peak, there’s something for all abilities, while those with limited mobility – or who can’t be bothered with the slog – can take the Snowdon Mountain Railway (snowdonrailway.co.uk) to the summit.

Ben Nevis, Scotland The mother of UK mountains, this 1,345m peak close to the Highland town of Fort William is the highest in the UK. Not for the faint of heart, even veteran climbers can take six hours getting up and down this behemoth. Ben Nevis has two translations from the Gaelic, including “mountain with its head in the clouds” and “venomous mountain”, both clear indications of its potentially perilous nature and the speed with which the weather can change as you ascend. Part of the Grampian mountain range, only experienced climbers should attempt this during the winter months. Those with limited mobility can enjoy the view from the comfort of the UK’s only mountain gondola (nevisrange.co.uk/activities/ mountain-gondola).

Whernside, Yorkshire The highest of Yorkshire’s Three Peaks at 736m, this is a popular choice for many walkers with views along the summit ridge offering some marvellous vistas across the Yorkshire Dales.

Taking in the picturesque Ribblehead Viaduct, this is a great way to experience this beautiful part of the country.

Coming soon...

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